#because i ALREADY FUCKING HAVE BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES.

[kerosene-saint]

my mom is upset that I'm upset that my dad didn't get anything off of my wishlist and only got me things I didn't want and did not ask for at all. except for the fact that I go out of my way to communicate what I want. I even tell him I made it and sent it to him. I helped him find it in his email. and he even showed me that he found it. and then continued to not get a single thing off of it.

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

So I did an important, but with some frustrating strings attached and at a financial cost.

I asked for accommodations at work.

It is day six. I am brand new. But I guess I’ve made enough of a good impression because they were willing to ask questions and discuss.

We have sensory processing disorder (auDHD). They used to play music on a Bluetooth speaker, but since then they now don’t let us have music after we open (10:45a).

So the day before yesterday I decided fuck it and had an earbud in the whole shift. It made me functional, kept us grounded, and actually made me faster and more effective. No major burns, only dropped one thing instead of multiple...overall a better shift.

The shift lead that day just...didn’t care, because I was working & I was getting faster & more effective as the day went on.

I came in to work today already overstimmed, so I used an earbud again.

(I intentionally used an earbud in our right ear, which has about 10% hearing remaining after trauma (both blasted music and physical-harm trauma). I can’t really hear out of it anyway. And these are entirely wireless (Bluetooth), small earbuds, so not super obvious and customers won’t notice (and didn’t notice yesterday). It’s not a matter of the earbud being too obvious or physically dangerous.)

But this shift lead told me to take my earbud out, and that I wasn’t allowed to have music due to safety concerns.

I work in a kitchen on a hot grill, and need to hear safety announcements (hot, cold, corner, behind you, etc.) as well as line alerts (for food when they run low/out). I understand that I need to hear that, & it could be a safety concern for some people. But I noticed yesterday I heard them better and processed way easier with music. So I protested, told her I worked better with it, but she kept arguing & telling me to take it out.

I pulled her into the back so I could hear better (quieter) and think/talk easier, and explained that it’s for a disability (not ‘just because’), and that when I had it yesterday, music made me way more effective and faster—and also able to process better what people said to me, which improves my safety. I also admitted I was already overstimmed and don’t think I can work today without it.

She said they don’t allow earbuds/headphones due to safety concerns, but also said she’d talk to higher-up managers (inbetween/corporate) about making an exception, which...is more than I expected after having to argue for 10mins.

She checked the handbook but it said nothing, so she told me to sit out in the lobby and that she’d let our lower tier/closest corporate person call her back to discuss more. Luckily she didn’t make me clock out at this point, so I just sat down to wait.

15mins later she came back and said that the higher ups talked to their disability advocate (¿they have one??) and agreed to send me the paperwork to accommodate music on the line.

But that also means I was sent home and I can’t work the rest of this week...cutting me down to 13½ hours instead of 28¾, making this paycheck around 31½ hours instead of 47 total (I don’t get a full 2 week paycheck yet because pay period is next Friday and I just started). That cuts my paycheck by ~$250, when I’m already struggling to get by and desperately need to replace multiple things, feed myself, and feed my cat...and pay rent too.

I’ll give them a little credit: this is fast food, and this is the first job who even escalated questions and decided to send me paperwork to allow an accommodation, let alone on day 6.

But I am so stressed about the money loss and the process of getting this done.

However,,, this is also the first time I got the courage to ask for an exception/accommodation of any kind. Normally I let myself suffer and let my performance tank until they inevitably fire me or cut my hours to make me quit. So I did a good this time. It just...sucks that it basically has consequences. I’m not allowed to work until the paperwork is filed and approved.

This is all a part of the journey I guess. I finally have the self-respect to ask. But that also means waiting to be sent paperwork and to hear back whether they’re gonna make an exception or not (AKA whether I’m gonna collapse out of this job in 3 to 6 months or not, because this accommodation would make or break my ability to sustain/maintain working fast food again).

I am disabled. This body is disabled. I can’t really accommodate the physical disabilities as well (struggling to stand for long periods of time / chronic pain), but if I can at least accommodate the mental ones...that’s something.

(before anyone asks, explicitly stating these— referenced & implied disabilities here: D.I.D., ADHD + bipolar, autism, sensory processing disorder, POTS, & chronic pain // disabilities I’m asking for accommodations for: ADHD/autism (sensory processing delays/overstim), & probably also PTSD because I already had to tell them yesterday about that (not sure about D.I.D. yet; bipolar is medicated; physical stuff is nigh impossible in fast food).)

(I won’t/can’t say which corporation I now work for; I don’t want to get in trouble for posting about them on social media or have them accuse me of acting as a spokesperson when I’m not. Too risky.)

~Nico

[dykeseinfeld]

please please please may i ask how/where you managed to acquire cassette tapes & player & how do you record onto them because that sounds cool as FUCK and id love to do something similar but i can’t find anything about burning tapes or even buying them anywhere (or even burning cds tbh)

i got the cassette tape player from retrospekt! they sell a lot of refurbished vintage tech including diff kinds of walkmen and record players and film cameras and tbh. everything's a Little expensive and there are cheaper options out there, but i saw they had very consistently good reviews on products showing up and actually working and i was paranoid abt getting something that doesn't work And i don't know how to fix. i chose the peanuts beagle scouts one for $99, but they have other refurbished and even a couple newer tape players that have bluetooth and such for a bit more money, whatever she's cute

as for casette tapes themselves i already had a bunch bc a lot of record shops will have a section that sells them for like $1-5, and i liked to pick up movie soundtracks as a cool way to have merch even before i could play them at all lol. even if i don't want to listen to the tape, i figured i could record over them with anything i want, but this option are used tho and most of those will be decades old and thus quite warped and fucked, so i finally caved bought a pack of 10 tapes on amazon for like $15 which is still not bad at all (retrospekt and other online sites sell prerecorded cassette tape albums of more modern stuff but they are SO overpriced when you see how cheap blank/used ones are)

for recording over a cassette tape it's very easy, especially if you don't mind your music sounding super fucking shitty lmao. (if you want high quality recording tips i recommend reddit's r/cassetteculture, tho they are all gearheads and spend a lot more money on dedicated tape decks and such than i'm willing to).

get your tape. identify whether it's blank, or if it is a pre-existing tape you're recording over. if blank, skip to step 3.

you're going to see two holes on the outside edges (picture below). these are what prevent a pre-existing tape from being overwritten, so you're going to want to straight up just cover these up (i use scotch tape, shoving crumpled up paper in there also works)

3. grab a male-to-male audio jack (i got mine at best buy). plug one end into the headphone jack of your laptop, the other end into the microphone jack of your cassette tape player. 4. make sure the audio output of your laptop is to "outside headphones" (aka your cassette tape). hit record, and press play on your music! that's it.

side note: if you are recording over! i recommend first recording over both sides completely with silence, just to minimize on ghosting and to straighten out the tape a lil

regardless the audio will be janky, but adjusting what volume the output is helps a lil. idk i'm a Super Novice who is basically in this for the aesthetic and so that i have an excuse not to bring my phone to the library

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - how the media team (and ty) would stop the boys argument

■□■□■□■□■□■■□■□■□■□■□■■□■□■□■□■□■■□■□■□■□■□■■□■□■□■

pov: the boys can't stop arguing and the media team is getting really tired of it..

warnings: arguing, arguments, getting angry over a situation, i think that's all? let me know if there's more!

type: wholesome

members: all of them + bae, angel and manager ty!

note: y/n is not included in this one!

we already know how the boys are when they argue

they're talking back

their recent argument was so dumb

they were arguing over a music playlist

let's put that in context: the boys needed to clean the house, do some organisations in their rooms.. all these kind of stuff

(the rest of the hc is under the cut)

and kane suggested to put a music playlist on the house's speaker so everyone could hear it anywhere in the house

raising his left arm in excitation, seb smiled widely

"WE HAVE TO PLAY THE WEEKND'S SONG!!"

even though the boys loved his song, they weren't really in the mood for that kind of music

"nah bro, let's play rap music!" regie said

"rap music?! bro, it's so fucking bad!" darren exclaimed while scrolling through his phone "we have to play some good vibes music!"

oliver sighed "guys, let's not argue about that. we can always change the playlist every 15 minutes or so, so everyone can hear their music for a little while"

justin rolled his eyes "y'all suggestions trash for real"

seb sighed "guys, let's finish this argument. we'll play the weeknd's music! his song are super dope, and you guys can't tell me otherwise"

"fuck off seb. we always put his songs. let's put something different, like keshi's songs. they're all good!" exclaimed azngami

"keshi? really bro?" jp laughed not agreeing with ryan's style of music "it's not rocking hard enough"

while ryan was talking back, kane raised his hand and smiled

"since i'm the one who suggested to play music, i think i should be the one to decide the music"

"man's going to put anime music.." regie said under his breath

"HEY ANIMES SONG ARE FRICKING GOOD-"

seb rolled his eyes and took his phone and started to search for the bluetooth's connection

"the weeknd's songs are good too, kane. we should put his songs. we all went to one of his concerts, so i don't understand why we're still arguing about it."

"we're still arguing about it, because y'all have bad music taste." justin said "let's put tiktok songs and that's all"

the boys quickly started to talk louder and louder, while explaining why their songs were the only right answer and why they should put them on the speaker

"hear me out.. anime songs are usually without any english lyrics and have fast beat which mean to us doing the cleaning more faster and not being distracted by the lyrics or the beat. it's proven!" kane calmy explained

"nobody want to hear your fucking anime music, kane! we should put rap music, we'll be more effective due to the rapidity and it can make everyone's happy!" regie added

oliver sighed

"let's just play a random playlist on youtube.. let's stop arguing about this boys.."

justin rolled his eyes and sighed

"or let's just play lofi."

all the boys looked at justin

"what?? lofi is a good style of music to concentrate and do the chores. it's proven!"

silence..

"let's do oli's idea. let's put a good vibe playlist and that's all" ryan sighed while hearing the argurment reasoning in the living room

"let's just play the weeknd, guys. we all like his songs, anyways!"

"forget about him, bro! we won't put him on the speaker!" justin said

"boys, let's just play keshi's, okay? he's a good artist, i promise"

oliver rolled his eyes "at this point, let's just use our own headphones and listen to our own music"

"let's do it. because there's no way i'm going to listen to animes music.." sebastian said while laughing

"animes are good!! what are you talking about?!"

"kane.. nobody want to hear your anime shitty opening" regie nonchantly said

"i thought you loved these?"

"i do, but i won't listen to them during a cleaning session???"

"i have a solution!" seb said raising his voice

"if it's about the weeknd, you can shut your fucking mouth up" justin and darren said

"c'mon guys! we all love his music, it's like the best solution right here!"

"man's obsess with the weeknd" ryan quietly laughed with kane

without knowing it, the argument was getting louder, and louder.. to the point, the media went in the living room to stop the argument

"CAN Y'ALL SHUT UP?!" bae exclamed

"BAE, HELP ME. THEY DON'T WANT TO PUT THE WEEKEND'S MUSIC. PLUS, I'M THE YOUNGER, SO I SHOULD BE THE FIRST ONE TO CHOOSE."

"shut up seb, i'm the older. i should choose first. you choose last"

"WHY!!! i'm the youngest! it's like in board games: the younger start!"

while the others were complaining over seb's fav artist, they didn't see ty, who was standing right there in front of them

"I thought I told you guys to clean the house, not to argue!"

"y'all are for real serious..." angel said while checking the boys' face

"what is it even about?" ty said

before the boys could even talk, oliver stood up fom the couch and sighed

"they've been arguing over music playlist. i tried to stop them, but they're really stubborn"

ty sighed and looked at the media team in a desperately way

"y'all can go finish editing. i'll take care of them"

bae and angel did thumbs up and quickly went back to their editing job, leaving ty and the boys all alone in the living room

"you guys are fuking stupid, sometimes."

"do you like the weeknd, ty?"

"SHUT UP WITH HIM, BRUH" oliver said raising his voice to his brother "we won't put him on the speaker if it doesn't make everyone happy!"

"oliver's right."

"then, what should we play? we all have our own musical taste!" ryan asked "and seb, don't even open your mouth for this"

"chill, i wasn't going to"

tyler rolled his eyes and sighed like if the answer was obvious

"y'all seem to forget you did songs. let's just play your nsb playlist and that's it"

after a little five minutes of comments and proposition, the boys were (finally) agreeing with ty's idea

"alright boys, now that we all know what's going to be playing, you can now CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH ABOUT IT. thank you"

"seb, you're doing the toilets!!" ratan said while laughing with oliver

"what? why me?!"

"we don't have speaker in there, so you'll be able to listen to the weeknd!"

"whatever.."

i hope you liked it anon! thank you for your requests!!

taglist (open! send me an ask if you want to be in it! my taglist doesn't really work atm and im trying my best to fix it!) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0

[queer-reader-07]

1, 7, 9, 58, 65 for the weird asks that say a lot?

hi!! ty for the asks

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs or the reusable ikea plastic cups lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones 10000%. my noise canceling bluetooth headphones are my emotional support item of all time

9. answered already!

58. four talents you're proud of having?

i'm very good & fast at long division because i vowed to be good at it to spite my fourth grade teacher

i'm really fucking good at winged eyeliner

i'm always on time. i'm really good at gauging how long i need to get ready & when i have to leave to get to where i need to be at the exact time i said i would be there

i know all the useful keyboard shortcuts on a ti-84 (and some niche ones too)

65. any permanent scars?

only one on my right index finger, i sliced it on a food processor blade when i was like 10 (i do also have some fairly big stretch marks on my back that some people mistake as scars)

send me some weird asks!!

[narse-tantalus]

People in the notes have a lot of bases covered but I'd like to add:

1) Audiopath. Audio is experienced as an inherently Analog format, and audio quality is determined by the DAC and Amplifier used (assuming transparent digital encoding which is pretty much a given these days). Putting a quality DAC and amp into an earbud is non-trivial and a lot of companies fuck this up. Phones already have DACs and amps. Why pay for duplicate circuits that aren't better? (I can see an argument for dongle DACs ). In general my $80 wired earbuds will sound better to me than using $80 wireless ones.

2) Recharging and batteries: I live out of a backpack or in a van. Having one more battery that needs to be charged is terrible. There would have to be a big positive to offset this downside and there just isn't one for me.

3) Social cue. I like that it's more easily visible to others that I have headphones in. I use earbuds because they travel better than over ears (smaller and lighter) and I want people to know I'm not talking to myself or that I'm not going to hear them.

4) I just hate Bluetooth. (Exception: using it to transfer audio to my van's amp/receiver). I think it's almost always implemented in a shitty way that doesn't do what I want it to do.

5) Antenna functionality (Not supported on my current phone, unfortunately). As recently as 2021 I was using my wired headphones to listen to FM radio on my phone, for free and incurring no data usage, and I think minimal impact on battery life. This was great in Aus where I could get Triple J this way. Was the audio quality good? Not especially, but I enjoyed it a great deal. Listening to local radio is a pleasure when traveling and it's lost when everyone listens to internet streams and when radio stations play the same shit in every country, but you also have to have an FM receiver and antenna to do it. Wired headphones are used as that antenna in phones with FM receivers.

Why do you need your earbuds to have a wire so badly?

I am assuming this is about a post I reblogged like six months ago when I went off on forced technological enshitification and the slow erosion of consumer options. But sure, I'll bite.

Why do I "need" my earbuds to have a wire? I dunno, Anon, maybe I:

Don't want to have to worry about recharging my earbuds.

Don't want my earbuds to be even easier to lose.

Don't want my earbuds to need separate accessories that are as easy to lose as the earbuds.

Prefer to have bluetooth turned off on my devices for security and safety reasons.

Like being able to seamlessly plug my earbuds into my computer, my MP3 player, or any other device with a headphone jack.

Don't want to spend 50 dollars on decent wireless earbuds when I can do all the above things with a pair of solid earbuds that cost me like $12 during the Obama administration.

Don't care about what kinds of headphones or earbuds people wear but don't like what it says about our society when other people apparently care what kind of earbuds I'm wearing so much they have send an Anonymous ask to interrogate me about it.

And I guess, more abstractly, because fuck Apple. That's why.

[unfortunatelyfuckingstupid]

How i feel about my technology. A somewhat ranked comprehensive list:

feel free to use this as a guide for what to buy:

Phone (galaxy flip3): hate you. why am i chained to using you. i would trow you down a cliff if i could. Why must you be so useless and at the same time so essential. your on such thin ice to be so bold. you're spirit is violent and spiteful. Ungrateful little bastard.

Ipad (forgot model but an apple): fuck you if i didn't need you for school i would destroy you. Why are you denying me even of the most basic of functions. the soul of a total stuck up rich kid. even worse than phone. Burn in hell.

switch (normal model from 2017): You i feel little about.you are a tool nothing more. i do not like you but i don't hate you either. You have the essence of plain bread. you mean little to me i wouldn't feel bad about loosing you if it wasn't for the money.

in ear bluetooth headphones (sennheiser 4th gen): you are a pain i my ass i only have you because phone requires me to but i can not fault you for that, also you work with my earcuffs so youre a welcome acquaintance. you have little personality but suppose you are to small to properly fit anything in there.

headphones (wired, don't know the model): a shield for me from the world works with all my devices (except phone the little bastard). functional and beloved. the soul of an alcoholic though.

phone (old one, j5): all functions working you are still alive despite it all. All those years and yet i have had to give up on you my old lady... yo no fault of your own of course. I still appreciate using you from time to time when your bastard brother decides to be a pain. You have all your functions but they have grown slow. enjoy your well deserved retirement dear one. Again your essence is of a small old but joyful lady with many cats.

cd/dvd runner/ burner (a thinkpad ultraslim): you have been in my family before i was even old enough to start using you. you have served our family well and will continue to for many years i am sure. whether its burning dubious dvds and cd or watching movies you have done what you could. I am glad you are mine loved child. a strong mind you are.

camera (olympus c-300 zoom): You have been alive for longer than i was and also served my family for 2 generation. You still function as you should. The picture you take remain beautiful and i will always cherish you as a respected companion. Elan of an adventurer who even in old age will still go no matter what.

Mp3 player(there is no model its on its own): Oh you little wild card the 10 buck i paid for you have sure brought us through the years. A mischievous spirit. whether its going through the washing machine or being left in the snow for a night you have beat the odds and survived. All you do is to spite people and i am so here for it.

Discman (panasonic anti shock memory II): a relative newcomer yet already so high. You allow me to carry stories with me wherever i go. i can not fault you for your little hiccups for you are pre loved. I am sorry i could not save you from batteries damage but i know you will make it through for you are stronger than you know and you will achieve great things. You're substance is of undiscovered strength.

Nintendo (3ds XL): A warrior and a Showmaker, no matter what little me did to you, you remained. I am sorry for the damage i caused to your shoulder but im glad you remain with me. A caring, strong but kind psyche. greatly have you served me through long car rides and boring weekends, your games remain many and all off them are well loved i could not bear to lose you dear child.

Headphones (over ear, sennheisser gen3): My shield and my sword. you have brought me art as well as shielded me from the noise of the world which i so hate. You're quintessence is nochalant but deep down i know you care. I have brought you many places and you will continue to come with me everywhere i go no matter what i do. you are a tool which knows to serve their purpose. i could not trade you if i tried my good friend.

laptop (thinkpad):Also a relative newcomer but that does not mean a thing my child. You are a hardworking one, you bring me basic access in ways the GODDAMN PHONE could never even hope to if it tried, not that it does ofc. your machine spirit is a gentle and caring one and i thank you for your services of helping me navigate the great sea that is the internet and i hope you will have an as glorious live as the one you clearly work so hard for. The mind of discovery itself.

Desktop( im not gonna bother with the stats): I have not seen you in so long yet and i am sorry. You have the most power of them all but do not hold it over anyone's head, you even try to work with them to the best of your ability, this is very formidable of you. My dear child your machine spirit is also a gentle one but you have a somewhat thicker head due to the power you wield this is not a fault of yours of course but simply a quality. you do everything you can and im gratefully for your work. Many say you're parts are not the best but i disagree you are the best you could be right now even if not everything is the newest. I will continue to take care of you as you do everything you can my dearest child.

[sad-boy-mono]

Ima be whiny and rant about my morning getting ready for a roadtrip. Idc if I sound like a whiny bitch IM FEELING LIKE A WHINY BITCH SO

My mom said we'd start packing up the car around 10 (to quote her directly, she wanted to "haul ass at 10") but she didn't even get home from a doctor's appointment until 10:30.

I woke up at 9 anticipating we'd be hauling ass at 10 (I've been waking up at 1pm everyday for the past 2 weeks) and went to bed at 4 (not by choice) so I could've gotten at least a bit more sleep.

I'm already overstimulated cuz I'm tired and now more so cuz we're off the given schedule.

So much time just getting shit into the car.

A CD I got in May is stuck in my dad's car. My dad's car recently was taken into the shop for some repairs. My mom said she brought up my stuck CD. Is my CD unstuck? Nope!

(Also secondary rant but this CD being stuck has caused me so much more stress than it should. It was $12 so not a huge financial loss but it's also my favorite album and the CD is sold out. My family doesn't have a good way to listen to music from phones in our car cuz we don't have Bluetooth and auxcords always end up hella staticy so we use CDs and I was so excited to finally have some new music in the car but I got to listen to it once before it got stuck and won't even play music because my mom messed with it trying to get it out. And then there's the added feeling of when you're upset about something that isn't a big deal and you KNOW it isn't a big deal so you feel dumb about getting so worked up about it because it's just a fucking CD and you could probably figure out a way to download the album and burn a new one but you bought this one from an artist you love and want to support so now you just feel dumb and stupid and wanna cry everytime you think about it and WHY DIDNT THE REPAIR PEOPLE GET IT OUT DID MY MOM LIE ABOUT TELLING THEM? IM SO PISSED. SECONDARY RANT OVER)

I have much less space then I thought I would in the car.

I remembered I'd have to spend a lot of time around my cousins (not necessarily a bad thing. But my social battery is a constant 0%. Also I came out to my uncle as trans a while back and he reacted badly and I really don't wanna be around him :/)

We're on the road and I forgot how loud and bumpy highways are in this shit stain of a country (#americacore)

Also my mom smokes. The smell + open window being loud is not helping.

Did I mention the roads suck? Because the roads suck.

I'm crammed in the back and everytime we make a turn I'm crushed by my aunt's wheelchair.

I love my family so much like genuinely, but being around them is hard cuz they're always up here 📈 all the time and I'm always down here 📉 all the time so being around them is hard due to how our energies don't align for lack of a better term.

Did I mention the roads suck? Cause the roads really fucking suck-

I didn't eat this morning and am hunger. I cannot reach any of the food/snacks we packed

I spent like 30 minutes fighting back a meltdown low-key.

Having boobs is actually such an icky feeling? Like not binding was a good choice but when roads are as bumpy as there are here maybe I should've just worn a binder?

HAVE I MENTIONED THESE FUCKING ROADS-

I don't have the money for Spotify premium (#brokecore)

Also I packed my laptop and every moment it isn't in my sight I fear it is being destroyed viciously (it is literally at the top of the bag pile and surrounded by clothing)

Did my hair this morning and it just like. Wasnt working with me :/

HOW DO ROADS MANAGE TO BE SO FUCKING LOUD WHAT THE FUCK-

Anyways I'm excited for this weekend :]. I'm going to a powwow in my extended family's town and supposedly it's gonna be hella big. We're staying in an AirBnB and it has a lake n shit so we can go swimming n shit. I might have my own room? Idk tho if not I'll live. I got my headphones.

[glitchdollmemoria]

big stupid drunk trauma vent time, kids stay away etc etc, idk wtf to tag this as so just fucking warning for the r slur and ptsd bullshit and me being an alcie

man im tired of substance use issues being shameful im tired of the phrase "substance abuse" im tired of feeling like im doing something wrong im tired of feeling like i need to keep it hidden so people dont look down on me or worry about me or pity me or get angry again. im fucking tired of not being able to go a day sober from one thing or another. im tired of all this bullshit and im tired of feeling like i need to do something to get attention and simultaneously feeling horrified at the thought of anyone so much as looking in my direction right now. im tired of overstimulation and understimulation. i feel like im just some fucking crazy schizo retard who cant manage to do jack shit and i know im talking nonsense but whatever im fucking wasted so who even cares. i can barely remember whatever i said in the last sentence. im fucking tired of stupid fucking bluetooth headphones and the battery dying and leaving me without my music to regulate myself. fuck capitalist bullshit for phasing out headphone jacks and fuck me for losing track of my wired headphones that i could use with my computer if i even still have them, idk maybe some fucking cat chewed them up i dont remember. i have a stomachache from drinking too much and i keep thinking about that fucking person who chastised me saying theres better things to do than make myself sick like this as if i fucking have any alternatives. im tired tired tired of all this fucking garbage and i want to get it through my thick skull that im cared about but it doesnt work. i want to ask for help but i dont know how to without completely losing my shit from the shame and guilt so the best i can do is tuck this little whiny letter onto my dumbass blog and then try not to think im being guilt trippy. i want less distance, i wanna live in the same neighborhood as my friends and be able to check on them and get checked on, i want my partner to be here but i dont because he deserves better than what i am right now, i wanna stop having a hole in my stomach, i wanna feel okay at night, i want to stop thinking about all the shitty trauma that keeps piling up, i want to fucking feel okay and i dont know if its human nature to feel completely okay and maybe thats what were all chasing and maybe thats what drives us but it fucking hurts in the meantime. i want to stop being so fucking crazy all the time. i wanna drink until i throw up and then get comforted and be allowed to rest and feel sick for as long as i need to feel sick because the sick i normally feel isnt fucking good enough for anyone. i want yo fucking shut up already but i cant stop fucking talking because this is the only way i know how to ask for help!!! i know im seen as fucking pathetic by so many people because thats what people fucking tell me, im some miserable fuck whos pitiful and lesser and its fucking fine okay i get it, but i dont know what to do about it except drink and smoke and drink and smoke and get fucking left behind when im not sexy or fun or financially stable anymore. i dont like thinking about the shit people have done to me and i wanna know its done and over but i dont think it ever will be because theres always gonna be someone feeding into my stupid inferiority complex. i hate it and i dont know what the hell is salvageable anymore

[naturalkillercyborg]

The old idea of a more expensive item being better crafted has b en defunct for a while but these $60 Bluetooth headphones are hammering in the point.

[avocant]

why can i literally never get headphones which work for longer than a few months i honestly don't think i have had a pair that actually consistently works

[wormstacheangel]

When Dean finally rescued Cas from the empty, he expected a happy reunion. He envisioned a strong hug like the first time he had escaped. He expected a long-awaited kiss and repeated confessions that weren’t said with sorrow or heartache. He expected to find the same Cas that was taken, but that would have been too easy.

Cas was left awake, alone, and in complete darkness for months on end.

So when Dean went into the empty, ready to wake up the love of his life, he found Cas curled in on himself—staring blankly out into the void of nothingness. He whispered something so softly and quickly that Dean couldn’t pick up on the actual words, but it sounded familiar. Almost like he was humming a song.

Dean tried to get him to stand up on his own, but he quickly realized that Cas wasn’t even looking at him. His gaze was distant, seeing something Dean can’t even imagine. He then noticed the white film over his eyes dimmed the once bright blue.

His fingertips gently traced over the skin he had only dreamt of touching for months before he took a deep, shaky breath to steady himself. With that slight pause, Dean used whatever desperate strength he had and dragged Cas back to the portal.

Back home.

As they got closer, the light of the portal seemed to startle Cas, and he started to shove Dean away. Dean had to put Cas down so he could take his green jacket off and place it over Cas’s head to calm him before he slowly continued to walk through the portal and into the bunker’s library where Jack, Rowena, Eileen, and Sam were waiting for them.

When they walked through, Dean quickly shushed them as he fell to his knees with Cas still in his arms, hidden under the jacket, and covering his ears at the sudden loud voices surrounding them.

Dean looked around at his family, all sharing the same worried glances knowing they were on the same page. Cas’s welcome home party would be pushed back until further notice.

Cas didn’t cry. His expression didn’t change much at all. All Cas did was sit or lay on Dean’s bed with the lights off. All but the desk light. It was an old lightbulb, so the light wasn’t a bright white like the rest of the place. Instead, it illuminated a soft golden glow against the wall.

Cas squinted at it at first, blinking so inhumanly at it, until all Cas did was stare at it. Whenever Dean made any move to turn it off or even just get near the lamp, Cas made a little whine at the back of his throat.

Little noises were the most Dean can get out of Cas. At least it brought him a little relief. It meant Cas could see him at that moment.

Cas still did that rapid talking or singing whenever it was a little bit too quiet. It made Dean wonder if Cas knew he was out of the Empty. Especially during those times when he would stare right past him, unblinking with cold eyes.

It was only the end of the second week when Dean broke down.

[continue under the cut or on AO3]

He didn’t mean to. He was trying so damn hard to keep it together, especially in front of Cas, but one night he just lost it. He can blame the lack of booze in his system, or as he wants, he can blame Sam, who came up to him about a stupid case. It pissed him off more than it should have. The fact that Sam even believed for a second that he would leave the bunker while Cas was like-well the way he was, just gave him enough of an excuse to raise his voice at someone.

Eileen had to step in and tell him to cool off.

Dean stormed off without a glance back and went to his room. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside Cas. He laid on his stomach as he wrapped one arm over the top of Cas’s waist, scooting close enough so that he could rest his head on Cas’s shoulder. He then opened his mouth to wish him goodnight just like every night, but something in Dean just broke.

He felt the pressure rise up his throat as he tried to hide his face into the familiar body beside him, but the sob still came.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to go get you. Fuck, Cas, please.” Dean took a shaky breath, sniffling as he reached to hold Cas’s hand closer to him. “We missed- I...I missed you. I missed you so much, Cas.” Dean brought Cas’s hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles before letting the hand rest by his head. His eyes closed as he sighs, “I love you. So come back to me, okay?"

The only response Dean got was a squeeze of the hand, which was enough hope for the future, and more than Dean could have ever asked for at that moment.

As the days went on, Cas didn’t change. Literally and figuratively. He was still an angel, so there was no need for him to shower or brush his teeth, but Dean swore that Cas’s facial hair was growing, so he liked shaving him at least once a week. Cas seemed to like it by the humming noise he made.

They did learn a couple of things as the days went on.

One, peace and quiet are not what they strive for.

It only brought Cas anxiety, and his humming or singing became much louder and more desperate. They fixed that problem with a Bluetooth speaker constantly playing music in the background, a playlist Jack made mixed in with a playlist Jack helped Dean make. It made the humming stop, and Cas started to roll over in bed. He even sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed a few times.

A month after Cas got back, Dean's phone died in the middle of the night, and the silence must have gotten to him. He covered his ears while he started muttering to himself again. Dean woke up and pulled Cas to his chest while softly sing to him in his still half-asleep phase. He didn’t know why that was his first instinct, but he went along with it cause it started to calm Cas down. Then, Cas held him back for the first time—tucking his head right under Dean's jaw and relaxing.

Dean tried not to stiffen at the touch; if he were honest with himself, he would admit he was trying not to cry because he was busy singing. Busy, not wanting to disrupt this moment.

That night Dean sang all night long until Jack checked on them in the early hours and connected his phone.

Two, always have a light source on.

The lamp was the first one they had. Cas constantly wanted it on, but it bothered Dean all the time when he wanted to sleep. So they bought a cool starlight projector, Sam’s idea, that kept the light on the cement ceiling and not on Dean’s face. Cas seemed to enjoy it as he laid on his back, watching it all night, letting Dean curl up on his side as he slept through the night.

Three, never leave Cas alone.

Nobody wanted to leave Cas alone for more than a minute if they could help it. So they made plans to keep him company at all hours of the day. Of course, they weren’t crowding him. They all came in one by one, except for Dean, who would say, “This is my room. I get to come and go as I damn well please.”

Sam liked to sit by Cas's side and talk nerd like they usually would while cleaning his guns or doing research to help another hunter. He would even pause during the one-way conversation to give Cas some time to answer or try to imagine what Cas would say in that situation. Sam was always calm, wanting to keep it as normal as possible while Cas just stared at him, sometimes his eyebrows knitted together, and Dean had to excuse himself as he felt his chest tighten up.

Eileen sat by his side and watched shows she liked while she talked to Cas out loud and signed so he could hear her voice. Even then, she didn’t talk much. Instead, she let the laptop do the talking as she pets Cas’s hair while sitting on the chair by the bed.

Jack came in the most next to Dean. He liked reading to him or talking about how his skills as the new God have improved thanks to Amara.

"Dad, I hope you'll be proud of me." Jack once whispered to Cas, who was having a bad day, checking out more than usual as he stared off into the distance. Eyes wide and almost screaming.

It was almost the end of the second month when another big mile-stone happened.

Jack was lying in bed with Cas while Dean was at his desk, cleaning his guns obsessively again. Jack was reading him a book he bought during his recent trip to the bookstore with Eileen, it was a Star Wars story.

Jack was getting into the book as he read slower but louder during a big fight scene. He got so excited that he even jumped up and looked back at Cas, "Did you hear that, Dad? He won!"

Cas smiled back at him- a genuine smile- and Dean almost dropped the piece of metal in his hand while Jack froze, his shoulders tightening up while he scrunched up his lips as if trying to hold back his cry.

Instead, he quietly composed himself as he asked in a shaky voice, "You want me to read the rest?"

Cas only blinked at him, keeping the slight smile, and Jack took it as a yes. Jack sat beside him again with a big smile plastered on his face, wiping his eyes every other word, as he rested his head on Cas's shoulder to continue reading. Dean didn’t miss when Cas tilted his head down to rest his cheek on Jack’s hair.

He had to excuse himself again.

After that day, Cas slowly started to open up a little more.

Once Dean woke up with Cas out of bed. Dean was already in full panic mode, his shoes on the wrong feet and jacket inside out as he called out for Sam.

Then just as quick as the panic came, relief flooded him when he found Cas in the kitchen trying to make coffee. He turned towards Dean and gave him the smallest of smiles, but it filled Dean with such solace that he just dragged himself to Cas’s space. Dean held his arms open to press Cas into him, and without a second thought, Cas fell right into him as if it was an everyday normal occurrence.

That was the start of Cas now being up and around the bunker. It was like when a baby starts crawling, everyone keeping tabs on the baby’s first steps, except this baby was an eon old celestial being.

The library, Dean’s room, the Dean-cave, and the kitchen were Cas’s favorite places just to sit. He always had Dean’s headphones on, softly playing music, just in case it went quiet, and it took a while for him to be able to walk around without those.

It was the sixth month when Cas wished Dean a goodnight first and then added, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean fought the lump in his throat, but Cas instantly pulled him in, his arms wrapped securely around him. He had so much he wanted to say to Cas just to hear his voice again, anything to listen to his voice again, but instead, he kisses Cas’s chest before saying, “I love you, too.”

Days came and went. Sometimes it seemed like Cas was getting better as he talked a little more, but then those days would come when he would just stare off into the stars on their ceiling. Not moving an inch or bothering to fake breath like he liked. Those days the music was a little louder, and Cas held on to Dean a little tighter.

“I don’t want to go back. Please,” Cas pleaded as he stared wide-eyed at the darkness in the corner of their room. As if he was having a nightmare with his eyes wide open. “Please don’t make me…I-I don’t want to be in the dark again!”

Dean took Cas’s face in between his hands to hold his gaze. Only talking when he knew Cas was seeing him. “It’s okay, Cas. I got you. Nobody’s taking you away from me ever again.”

“Promise?” Dean felt Cas’s grip at his shoulder, holding him with desperation.

“Promise.”

That’s how Cas became human.

The nightmares have him waking up screaming some days, but at least Cas knew he was safe from the Empty’s clutches.

He was going to live his human life being loved and taken care of, and Dean was happy to say he felt Cas was doing the same for him.

[33max]

have 800 words of badly written Daniel angst bc he is my emotional support blorbo and i’ve been having a tough time recently

Daniel leaves the track feeling… a lot. Anger. Frustration. Resignation. Jealousy. His emotions tangled and confusing, like an old pair of headphones knotted together. He’s not going to try and untangle them, he’s going to sit with them, let himself feel the whole spectrum for a while. Michael will say he’s punishing himself, not even trying to work through everything he’s feeling, not even trying to remain positive. Michael would be right.

The suicide doors to the McLaren car they’ve given him for this weekend lift open and he slides into the passenger side. Michael is driving. As soon as Daniel’s phone connects to the bluetooth, he hits play on the playlist he needs right now. Brand New’s Seventy Times 7 blares through the speakers.

Michael doesn’t say anything. Michael doesn’t need to say anything. Michael already knows.

“Every weekend.’ He says to Michael. ‘Every fucking weekend.”

Michael signals onto the highway towards Monaco. They’ve got a couple of days there before they need to head to Hungary. A couple of days to try and resolve half a season of issues.

“I know, mate.” Michael has known Daniel for long enough to know that now would not be a good time to coach him on his mindset. Dan is grateful for that. Frustration still bubbling up inside of him like a volcano that could erupt into something more volatile at any second.

Daniel wants to talk to Michael. Tell him that nothing feels fair. That he fucking hates the car. That he thinks the team are cunts for not letting him even try to pass Lando. That he’s sick of the fucking media speculation. That he feels exhausted. That he’s worried he’s not got the same talent that he used to have. That he feels like he’s losing all of his friends along the way. Except, he doesn’t know how to say any of that, so he doesn’t.

He rubs his eyes, they feel gritty and sore. From the sweat that ran into them during the race, he tells himself.

The song ends. Daniel skips the next 3 songs. Impatient. They don’t quite fit his vibe emotionally right now. Bring Me The Horizon’s Antivist comes on next, and Daniel leaves it to play. Michael is tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. Happy for it to fill the silence between them.

Daniel opens Instagram out of habit, to mindlessly scroll. The first thing he see’s on his newsfeed makes him close his eyes and take a deep breath. The knot of emotions in his stomach pulls tight and there is nothing he can do, he can feel the inevitable eruption coming.

landonorris: 27 race wins between us after today! 🏆

He drops his phone into his lap and grabs a fist full of his own hair. Pulling it harshly.

“I fucking hate him, Michael!” Daniel says, words tumbling out of his mouth before he can stop them. “He’s a cunt. He’s such a cunt.”

“Who?” Michael asks, confused. In fairness, there is a lot of people that could fit the bill.

“My fucking dickhead of a teammate.” Daniel gives his hair another harsh tug, mostly because he knows that he is being a fucking bellend right now. He deserves to hurt a little bit for thinking this. Lando isn’t a cunt. Daniel doesn’t even hate Lando. Right now, he wishes he did though.

His teammate is outperforming him. His teammate is making the car do things that Daniel can’t. His teammate has the full support of the team.

His teammate is flying home with Max, and that feels like the final straw. It is the final straw. Does Lando want to take everything from Daniel? He’s already taken his career, why not his best mate too eh?

“Pull over!” Daniel demands. Ready to jerk the steering wheel and direct them onto the hard shoulder if Michael doesn’t react quick enough. Luckily, Michael pulls them straight over, eyeing Daniel with concern.

As soon as they’re stopped Daniel opens the stupid fucking suicide doors and climbs out of the car. He takes a few steps onto the grass verge at the side of the highway before laying down and screaming.

He keeps screaming. Hands tugging at the grass while he does it.

The sun is setting in the sky. Cars are flying past down the highway. Daniel feels something give way inside of him, the knot inside him coming lose, and the unbearable frustration draining away slightly to be replaced with melancholy.

He’s looking at the blues, pinks and oranges in the sky as Michael comes and lays next to him.

“Did that help?” Michael asks him.

“A little.” Daniel answers honestly. They don’t move until the sun has set and the sky is filled with stars.

[haik-choo]

karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o

request: Could you write how 1st years (yachi too pls🥺) going out with their s/o late at night ?

a/n: this is such a cute little concept i -- 

[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]

-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi

tsukishima kei.

not gonna lie, he’s often awake late at night. he’s a night owl and doesn’t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos

occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brother’s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets

so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses

wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you aren’t left out by yourself

tsukishima knows there’s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when he’s the first one there

as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours

he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu

is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare

eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3

pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying

“im trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut up”

secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it

tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you

you: stop lying i know you’re a closet hopeless romantic 

convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones

tsukishima when he’s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softly “love you” 

all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs with 

kageyama tobio.

"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morning”

kags really out here kinda hurtin’ your feelin’s ngl boy doesn’t understand the vibes LOL

honestly you probably woke him up, he’s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL) 

only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and you’d toss a few for him....and also because he’s a little worried because it’s so dark out

doesn’t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL

he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything

“you know,,,,we’re not playing a game, right, tobio?”

“yeah???? and??? what’s your point”

acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because it’s cool out, there’s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars

he’s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that he’ll ever say that though

you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasn’t even broken a sweat (”you’re already tired? maybe you should workout more” “shut UP kageyama”)

you both sit on the bench, and you’re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but they’re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night

kageyama can’t take a hint. we know this. he’s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person

he doesn’t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesn’t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind

plus he doesn’t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks it’s obvious that he likes you

despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and he’s pretty protective of you, so you’re completely safe with him. trust him, he’ll keep you safe

all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves you 

yamaguchi tadashi.

is in bed by 11pm but doesn’t actually go to sleep until two am because he’s scrolling through tiktok on his phone

sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that says “ill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)”

he walks all the way to your house, even if it’s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! he’s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence

despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you can’t tell me that he can’t read people in a heartbeat -- he’s extremely perceptive 

also texts you to not bring a jacket because he’s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell

he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman

lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listens 

joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation

sees that there’s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that you’re further away from the stranger 

also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while

when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot

and damn, he’s right

it’s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit on 

pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRG 

is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you

you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what. 

yamaguchi: ...because i love you?

you: *K.O*

all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3 

hinata shoyo.

is either completely fast asleep and doesn’t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between

but if he’s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA

literally doesn’t even show up in sneakers. he’s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve top 

“i came in my pjs”

“i see that.”

asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesn’t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hour 

he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comforting 

has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given

so, no, he doesn’t notice any weriod people even if there are some around

you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because let’s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads) 

you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation( “she asked me to marry you the other day” “doirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHAT” “what? i told her i would. i keep my promises!”)

after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple

you share a sundae because you don’t want to eat too much this late at night

he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone

he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and it’s during this time where you’re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppost 

he can’t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself

that he really will marry you one day

all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream

yachi hitoka.

another either or, except this time she’s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day

when you ask if she can go on a walk with you she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want to get in trouble with her mom and she’s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes

you: good. i’m outside your door btw

yachi: i never had a choice did i

you have to meet her at her house because she’s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because she’s worried for you

jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself

instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesn’t hear what you say

so you offer to go to a little cafe that’s still open and right away she nods

she’s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late

and finally, because you two are safe, she’s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie

awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours

canon: yachi totally has freckles and you can’t convince me otherwise 

her face is red and her freckles are just on display you can’t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?

you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her home 

and this time on the walk she’s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers

does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3

you: stop. please. im going to die.

when you’re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside

video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safely 

all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanks      

[tobiosmilktea]

high fidelity — kuroo tetsurou

3.9k words | genre: fluff | warning/s: terrible writers block writing, ooc kuroo cause i suck | pairing: kuroo x gn!reader

↪︎ in which being the only two employees at a small record store meant that you and kuroo worked together almost every day. and not a single day has passed that you didn’t find your coworker absolutely insufferable. you think he’s annoying, and he thinks you’re cute. in reality, kuroo just sucks at flirting.

a/n: is the plot a bit of a mess? lowkey yeah, but ykw that’s okay cause i needed something stupid to write. this was also a bit self-indulgent cause homegirl just got employed at a record store (yay)

fucking tired—is what you would tell kuroo in the means of his grand intervention to mess with his favorite coworker of all time. granted, you were his only coworker in the infamously meager record store down some random alleyway in downtown tokyo.

those six words were how you would describe how you felt at that very moment. busy with doing what you were employed on doing rather than sitting around and snacking on some trail mix. one would assume that working at a rather small establishment meant little to no work, especially in hours where it was slow with no customers roaming up and down the aisles, but god were you wrong. you were the only one on the shift actually busting your ass off on the floor and at the register while all kuroo does is change the music playing on the store’s overhead speakers and hangs out.

sure, he does do his fair share of work here and there. occasionally he would even take over most of the manual labor of carrying all the new shipments of heavy vinyl records for the sake of courtesy, but at the end of the day, it was always you who would have to restock the displays every time.

so much for being a gentleman.

your feet hurt, your legs ached, your arms were sore. you were just glad that kuroo finally decided to get his ass up and actually walk around for once. he probably wasn’t planning on doing any work, simply just meandering through the aisles of vinyl just to see what to buy next with his 20% off employee discount. you honestly couldn’t care less. what you did care about was that the stool behind the cash register (aka the only place to sit inside the entire building) was finally free.

you settled yourself behind the counter, a sigh escaping your lips as your chin rested atop the palm of your hand.

you finally had a chance to rest. yet despite taking this rare opportunity, you couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit bored now that the store was practically deserted. then again, what did you expect from working at a small business? not to mention, it’s the twenty-first century and all forms of media was digitized and easily accessible by a single internet search. there were, however, a few old souls out there, still in love with the idea of having a physical copy of their favorite artist’s work.

you were easily one of those people.

there was something so endearing listening to strangers talk about their love for music—it’s why you started working here at TRAX in the first place as a sorry excuse to surround yourself with the physical embodiments of the best invention mankind has ever made. hell, you still had the old walkman that your father gave to you. it was from the 90s with its gray plastic chipping at the corners and scratched-off lettering. you even had his old cassette tapes always in your bag whenever you go out.

regardless, the quietness of the store wasn’t at all bad at times. if anything, you were fortunate that kuroo wasn’t annoying the shit out of you like he normally does—poking at your cheeks and teasing you to no end. in fact, it was a nice break from the overstimulation of the occasional busy hours that come out of the blue. from old men mansplaining how record players work to annoying middle schoolers trying to blast their terrible soundcloud songs on the store’s bluetooth speakers. perhaps the slow hours were a godsend.

it was absolute hell trying to chase those annoying thirteen-year-olds out of the store with the help of kuroo. causing a ruckus or not, the situation was a bit funny at the end. it was one of those rare moments you and kuroo shared a genuine laugh together.

a sigh escapes your lips then as you take out your walkman, plugging in the old headphones that came with it. the black, plastic ones with thin muffs whose wires tangle no matter how much you try not to. you place them over your ears.

today’s mood was classic 80s rock, something along the lines of queen, guns n’ roses, and journey beating into your ears as you let your eyelids rest for a few seconds.

however, your means to relax was immediately shut down when a hand snatches your headphones off of your ears.

“ouch,” you groan as the plastic of the headset scratched at your temple. you look over your shoulder at your coworker with confusion plastered all over your face. “what was that for?”

kuroo blinks with a sly smile on his face, “those things still exist?”

you flick him a look, “what do you want?”

“you don’t get paid to sleep on the job, you know.” kuroo gives you a pointed look as he hands you back your headphones.

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. the audacity. “i get paid by the hour and the store is literally empty right now,” you defend as you click your walkman on pause, “besides, aren’t you the one slacking all the time?”

“only when the boss isn’t around,” he hums.

“the boss is never around,” you huff.

“speaking of an empty store,” kuroo starts once again, watching you wrap the thin headphone wires around the body of your walkman. “d’you got any spare change?”

your eyes peer at him slightly, “what for?”

“to get a drink from the vending machines down the street, obviously.” replied kuroo.

yet another sigh left your lips, licking at its dryness as you reached into your pocket to reveal a few fifty-yen coins. it wasn’t much, but it wasn’t like anything from the vending machines in the city was that expensive. just anything to get him off your back again for peace of mind. “get me a one too while you’re at it,” you mutter, tossing the coins into his palm.

“why don’t you just come with me?” he asks, curious.

you shake your head, “i can’t leave the store unattended.”

kuroo clicks his tongue, feigning himself from rolling his eyes and just tugging you along with him. “come on, it’s not like there are any customers.” he gestures onto the barren floor as if its emptiness wasn’t already obvious enough.

“do i have to?” you groan. you just got comfortable and you weren’t exactly in the mood to walk all the way down the street either.

“yes,” he said sternly, hoping that it was enough to sway you, but surprise surprise! it didn’t. his unsuccessful (and oddly pitiful) attempt at convincing you to come with him caused the corners of kuroo’s lips to dip into a slight pout.

no matter how annoying your coworker was, thinking he wasn’t at all cute or the least bit attractive was a lie. when you look at kuroo, you’re not entirely sure what it was about him that made your heart skip a few beats despite your brain thinking the opposite. was it his sleek obsidian hair that was always styled perfectly? perhaps it was his eyes that were so pretty that if you looked at him for longer than a few seconds, you would be entranced? or maybe it was his witty charm that despite being annoying, you still found his presence nice to be around?

whatever it was, you hated to think there was even the slightest possibility that you liked kuroo more than you would like to admit. and the worst part of it all? perhaps you did like him more than a friend.

and that was the biggest problem.

how annoying, you think.

“pretty please,” he begged, his warm hands suddenly finding yours in the midst of your internalized dilemma and pulling you out of your thoughts.

the action catches you off guard as you snatch your hands back from his abrupt contact. eyes wide and heart beating heavy, you gulped when you noticed how close he was to you then. the action of you pulling away from him only brought kuroo closer like some odd twist in fate.

your thoughts pondered a bit as you looked up at him, still patiently waiting for an answer as he gives you a comforting smile. perhaps kuroo stepped a bit out of line this time, and there’s no doubt he feels a bit bad about it. he was about to pull away and apologize but after your thoughts spiraled for a few seconds you gave in with a nod.

“fine,” you say, lifting yourself off the stool as kuroo steps away from you with a grin. you follow him around the counter, taking your walkman with you as you pass it.

you just hoped no one came by while you two were out. the last thing you wanted to do was get fired all because your annoyingly handsome coworker wanted to get a mid-afternoon beverage.

your shoes muffled gently against the store’s floor—tap, tap, tapping in some form of patterned unison as you and kuroo left the building.

the backroads of downtown were quiet. considerably so compared to the main streets as there was nothing but tweeting birds, whistling cicadas, and an occasional bicycler whizzing by. it was such a nice day, perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea to go out after all.

there was something incredibly calming about afternoon strolls down the street, feeling the rays of sunlight beaming down on your face as you further melted into an earth-smearing mood while you unpaused your walkman.

your headphones laid around your neck with the volume set on max this time just so kuroo could listen in. the corner of his lip quirked up a bit as you did so. it was like a nod of approval within a minuscule gesture. then again, you and kuroo always had a similar taste in music—messy and all over the place, but the classics are where you and he truly had the most in common.

the walk there was short and quiet. usually kuroo doesn’t mind being the one to strike up a conversation, but right now, it was as if he was trying to savor something at the moment that you couldn’t really pinpoint.

upon arriving at the rows of vending machines, kuroo slips in a few coins before pressing one of the buttons. he opted for a calpico, watching the can fall from behind the glass before bending down to pick it up. kuroo doesn’t even give you a look before he puts in the rest of your change, let alone ask what you wanted. the boy presses on the button right below a matcha drink—the exact one you were planning on getting.

he bends down when the drink dispenses and hands it to you on beat with the music emitting from your headphones.

“thank you,” you say, a bit dumbfounded as you opened up the can.

the slight confusion was evident on your face as kuroo couldn’t help but find your curiosity absolutely adorable. “i always see you with that drink whenever you come in for work,” he explains, chuckling as he takes a sip from his own. “assumed you liked it a lot.”

you couldn’t help but blush at his words, feeling your heartstrings suddenly tug at the thought that he knows you enough, let alone care to even remember such a minor detail. letting out a shaky breath that you hoped was drowned out by the music, you lamely attempted to hide the crimson red hues on your cheeks as you take a drink.

“i’m surprised you’d even remember something so insignificant about me,” you mutter as you two walk back to the store, yet this time your pace slowed along with his.

it seemed as if you weren’t the only one wanting to spend a little more time like this.

“i mean, it’s you.” kuroo replied, fingers nervously fiddling. “you are my favorite coworker after all.”

which wasn’t at all a lie. it was true. you were his favorite, but it was nothing more than a panicked and questionable explanation in the means of nonchalance. he couldn’t exactly expose himself out of the blue ever since you two talked about what you looked for in a partner. he recalled your words of wanting to find someone who cares about you and can remember every detail about you regardless of what it was. and much of his dismay of explaining his type to be the exact same of your own traits and characteristics, his sorry excuse of casually flirting completely flew over your head.

and if he’s coming to think of it now, all of kuroo’s sorry excuses of flirting probably went over your head. he mentally faced palmed himself. god, you probably thought he was the most irritating guy on the planet.

yet to his rapidly beating heart, you laughed, practically beaming at him. kuroo swears you could literally send him into cardiac arrest. “i’m your only coworker, idiot.” you tease before taking another sip.

he grins.

“gives me an even better reason to care then,” he hums, pulling the door to the store open just to be met with a thunderous shout.

you two were met with the owner of TRAX record store aka your boss. the short, pudgy old man with a receding hairline and a scowl on his face stood by the counter, arms crossed over each other like a disappointed parent.

“where have you two been?” he grunts, his familiar adenoidal and croaky voice ripping through your eardrums as you hurried to pause your walkman. “leaving the store unattended just to get drinks? you two are lucky i got here when i did because a customer just came by!”

your lips purse together nervously as the grip around your can tightened. kuroo notices your unease, giving you an apologetic look. he turns to face igarashi, your boss, “sorry sir, that’s my bad. i was the one who convinced (y/n) to come with me even after they said no.”

“oh really?” your boss tested. his hand came up to his chin to scratch the few strands of beard hair he even had. he scoffs, “of course it is.”

your neck swivels up towards kuroo as guilt melted into your bloodstream. knowing igarashi, he wasn’t the type to lay easy on simple mistakes. it was the only reason why you were glad he wasn’t here often in the first place knowing that he was like a ruthless hawk with eyes that followed you everywhere.

“it’s not entirely his fault, sir. i knew better but i still decided to go.” you muttered, refusing to look kuroo in the eye as he looks at you surprised.

igarashi lets out a huff as his eyes closed for a few seconds, “my therapist told me to take deep breaths whenever i feel as if i am about to lash out,” he explains before pulling himself together. he opens his eyes, tone much calmer now but the words were still like venom. “since you two were at least truthful about it, i will let it go this time, but know it won’t be the next time around. alright?”

you and kuroo nod, “yessir.”

“good. now, i want this place spotless by the time i come back.” with that your boss disappears into the back where he would be for the rest of the night–not helping at all. he stays in the backroom just to nap and to get away from his own unhappy marriage. you just hoped he stayed there until the end of your shift.

with your pulse calming, you took a sip of your matcha drink out of comfort, finishing all of its contents before throwing it into the trash bin. kuroo does the same thing, this time out of the fear of getting in trouble again as for the first time in a long time, you hear him ask you, “should we get to work then?”

you almost wanted to laugh. you were oddly giddy about working alongside him rather than vexed, nodding in response. both of you grab one of the grates of newly shipped records from behind the counter, ready to be put on display as you and kuroo worked down the same aisle.

with your walkman still on hand and your headphones wrapped around your head, you decided to play the cassette tape again just to ease the underlying awkwardness that was still in the air.

when you paused your walkman earlier, it stopped near the beginning of good old fashioned lover boy by queen. and the moment freddie mercury starts vocalizing, you could practically feel the ice around the two of you melt, heads bobbing to the beat as you two worked your way down the jazz aisle.

it went like this for the next hour. songs ranging from artist to artist, humming lightly to the beat of every drum. usually, kuroo wouldn’t last two minutes without complaining about doing work, but for once he didn’t mind knowing that you’re right next to him, mumbling the lyrics together in incoherent unison. if he knew working with you was going to be like this, he wouldn’t have been such a slacker after all. you could honestly say the same thing.

the cassette tape pulls to a stop, reaching the end of its duration as you and kuroo reach the bottom of the crate of vinyl records. as you reach inside to take out the last few albums, a gasp escapes you as your eyes fall onto one of the records. it was one that you have been dying to get for years now.

you put your walkman and headphone set down, grabbing the album.

“no way,” you grinned, capturing kuroo’s attention as he looks over at you curiously. “look, look!”

“tears for fears?” he says as a small switch flickers in his brain. “isn’t that your favorite 80s album?”

you nod, happy to think he even remembered that about you as you rush over to the cash register. you buy the album without a moment of hesitation, already freeing it from its plastic wrap as you reach kuroo again. you open the cover, beaming at its beautiful design. you couldn’t wait until you got home to listen to it.

at the end of every other row, there was a record player display that customers were able to use. taking out the delicate vinyl, you carefully placed it on the player’s mat with delicate fingers. you pick up the needle, hovering it over the edge of the record before placing it down gently.

on either side of the record player, there were hooks to hold headphones. each of which was connected to the machine as you quickly pull kuroo over. taking the headsets from the hooks, you put one of the pairs on before placing the other over kuroo’s ears, tiptoeing just to reach his height. almost immediately one of the most iconic songs of the decade stream into his ears. it was everybody wants to rule the world—one of your favorite songs.

you two stood there in silence, listening to the song’s nostalgic beats as your bodies faced each other. while you were looking over at the spinning black vinyl, kuroo eyes fell on you.

there was absolutely nothing in his wake to be able to take his admiration away as this, this beaming expression on your face had something special about it. it was as if his entire world was right in front of him, just an arms reach away.

his heart couldn’t slow for a minute as he could practically hear it over the music playing in his headphones. his breath gave way then, at the moment you turned to look back up at him with glowing eyes as if you struck gold. you consider yourself lucky being able to get your hands on such a rare vinyl, but kuroo considered himself the winner as he had you.

“do you like this song?” you asked him curiously, ignoring the way your heart started beating rapidly from the way he was looking at you with such care and admiration.

you were so close, you were literally right there. all of kuroo’s emotions that battered onto him like a cumbersome downpour can be relieved if he were to just say the words. a simple phrase, three short words, and a heavy heart beat. ready to leave his tongue and all would be done.

come on, just say it!

“I like you,” he says out of the blue, but his voice was a bit muffled due to the headphones.

your eyebrows furrow slightly, mouth suddenly running dry as your eyes widen.

did he just say what you think he just said?

you are not entirely sure what he said considering his words were partially drowned out by the music. you wanted to think that he did say the words of the impossible, but you couldn’t be so sure of yourself.

“sorry, what did you say?”

kuroo’s hands wrap around your headset, pulling them off of your ears and placing them around your neck. “i said i like you and i wanted to know if you wanted to go out sometime!” he says ratherly loudly. his headphones were still on him blasting tears for fears.

you couldn’t help but laugh, the back of your hand coming up to cover your reddening cheeks. warmth surrounded your heart, like a hug that squeezed at your chest in the most comforting way possible. you raise your hands up, cupping around the shell of his headphones as you pull them off of kuroo.

“you’re so loud,” you mutter.

as if fate decided to push you into the unknown with a strange burst of confidence within you, you got up on your tiptoes and leaned it. pressing your lips against his, soft and light, your skin ignited ablaze.

in a mere moment of serendipity just to test out the waters, you were pulled in deeper, mind blurring in satisfaction. yet it was nothing more than temporary as the sound of infamous footsteps gradually got louder and louder. panicked, you pull away quickly just seconds before igarashi emerges from the aisles, staring bullet holes into you and kuroo.

“i suppose you two are working?”

you nod, pulling your wrists out of kuroo’s grasp.

kuroo quickly answers, “we are, don’t worry.”

your boss lets out a suspicious hum as he gives you two one last look. he turns back around again, disappearing into the back.

a sigh of relief leaves you as you turn back towards the boy in front of you. he still waited for an answer, almost desperate to know as his eyes searched for an answer.

grinning, you pause the record player and kuroo watches it spin to a slow stop. “you’re an idiot,” you say with a laugh.

kuroo doesn’t seem to care at that moment, if anything he was just glad there were no one else was around. his hands wrap around yours again, “well, is that a yes or a no?”

“so that kiss wasn’t obvious enough for you?”

liking someone you found annoying was impossible, but liking your annoying coworker? now, that was a different story.

general taglist: @yongboxerrr @rosepetalhaven @tvwhoresblog @tanakaslastbraincell @kellesvt @kitsunetea @milktyama @anejuuuuoy

[krethes]

Excerpt from Chapter 27 of Did You Miss Me?

Read Chapter 27 or Start at Chapter 1

"If you're already going to clean my pants-" Sirius began as the door to the bus slammed open and Bellatrix launched herself inside like a tornado, snarling her rage to anyone who was in hearing range. "Fuck the wind, fuck this stupid place, fu-" Her stomps were not enough warning before she yanked the curtains to Sirius' bunk open. He'd barely had time to pull his hand out of his pants, much less actually end the call before she was on him, her mended acrylics clawing at his hand with his phone. "Oh fuck you, you do not just get to be in here, wanking, you pathetic, miserable cockslut!" she seethed. "You're on the phone?" Her face was flushed from the miserable heat outside and she had shoved the sleeves of her floral dress off her shoulders to fall around her waist, leaving her in a lacy bralette. It was not a good look on her. Sirius spared little thought for Bellatrix's look, though, reaching instead for his AirPods. The phone was already gone, but he was clenching the small earbuds in his fists, trying to muffle any noise from the mics in case Bellatrix said the wrong thing and outed him to Moony. "Give it back," he said, rolling out of the bunk, his voice low and as threatening as he could make it with his flies still open. Bellatrix smirked victoriously, holding the phone. "Nice try," she drawled, swiping down and disabling the Bluetooth with a single tap. She glared at the name on the screen and brought the phone to her ear. "Who is this?" she demanded, but only grew more tense at whatever answer she got. Sirius felt his own tension growing, twisting up his spine, his heart in his throat. "Listen up, you money-grubbing piece of whorebait: lose this number. He's mine." Bellatrix hung up and resumed her tapping, her nails clicking on the screen as she fucked with Sirius' phone. The redness in her face was definitely from fury and not just the heat as she was shaking with anger, trying to bring up Sirius' call logs. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Sirius demanded, discarding the headphones on his bed and making a lunge for Bellatrix again. He had no idea what Moony had said to her, but he did not want her to find the nudes Moony had sent today. All the other pics, Sirius had carefully secreted away deep in his cryptic file sorting system and deleted from the messages, but today's had not yet been hidden. Sirius could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he wrestled with Bellatrix again, trying to avoid her claws and oof, ouch, fuck, her knee in his groin. Sirius countered with an elbow to her breast and shoved his palm up beneath her chin, driving her head back as he tried to pry the phone from her hand. "After everything I fucking do for you, you narcissistic cow!?" Vicious delight flashed across her face because finally, after weeks trapped on a bus far too small to hold either of their egos, let alone both of theirs, Bellatrix was getting the fight she wanted. She shouted angrily and tried to bite the hand near her face. No matter how many ladylike manners had been instilled in her as a girl, Bellatrix was a firm believer in fighting as dirty as she possibly could. Hit wherever and however you could to get the upper hand, that was her style. And while she may have won many of their physical fights when they were children and even teenagers, Sirius was an adult now, and, unfortunately for her, much stronger than she was. Bellatrix lost possession of the phone and tried to lunge at Sirius instead, claws out, ready to do serious damage. "Do for me?! Do for me? Oh fuck you, Sissy, you only do things so I'll do a favour for you later, isn't that right? 'Oh c'mon Trixie, let me pull for you so I can have two hours to myself in Sydney so I can mope around like a pathetic loser'," she mocked. "I should have let you get fucked in Albuquerque!" Dorcas was trying to separate them, but there wasn't much room on the bus to manoeuvre between the fighting twins. Sirius very nearly decked Bellatrix in the face… except Dorcas grabbed his arm and hauled back with all of her weight. It was just enough to remind

Sirius that breaking Bellatrix's pointed nose would absolutely derail their tour.

Chapter 28 is coming ~7 AM EST Feb 25! There will also be a special chapter for Are You There? (the series that contains DYMM? and Seduction of Sirens) on Saturday, Feb 26. :D