#because he's one of those people who just never reacts strongly to anything told to him

[afurtivecake]

It's pretty fucked up how terrifying Tetsuji is in the eyes of the Ravens. Kevin is really practiced at deflecting, at lying and at just keeping his mouth shut in general. He doesn't slip up on anything and blurt out sensitive information like Jean does. AND YET. The first time he talks about Tetsuji with Neil, he slips up and calls him "the master." Save for the one time on Kathy's show when he calls him "Coach Moriyama," Kevin ALWAYS says "the master" around the Foxes (and Jeremy). How hard must Tetsuji have insisted upon being addressed properly that even Kevin can't kick the habit after a whole year away from the Nest.

(Also, it's hilarious how the Trojans react to hearing "the master" with a resounding and appropriately vehement "What the FUCK" but Neil's thought process is just like, "Hm. Weird and probably meant to be a secret, but ok.")

[professor-beaker]

(Warning: very long rant about growing up religious and aroace. Might delete this in an hour. Idk)

Dear mom and dad,

Do you remember when i was 14, and had my first kiss? You probably dont- for you, it was just another sunday. He was one of my only church friends, and he pulled me, alone, into one of the music rooms after sacrament meeting. You encouraged me to go with him, because you could read the signs i couldnt. He was very polite, but when we kissed and he grabbed my hand on the way out, it felt more wrong than anything id experienced before. I ran back to you, crying, and you walked me through rejecting him. You basically told me that i was just too young, that it would get better, but it certainly didnt feel that way at the time. Every time youve reminisced on it since, it was only to laugh at my expense. At my naievety.

I tried to take your words to heart. I tried to listen each time our church would preach about how essential families were and each time you told me how happy you two were. It didnt work.

Do you remember when i was 15, and i told you, mom, that adopting sounded way better than having biological kids? You got so offended, and i had no idea why. I still dont. You told me it was a natural part of life, that we were supposed to bring children into this world. I tried to explain my reasoning- why would i want my own children when there are those who are suffering on their own? When the thought of procreation made me sick?- but you dismissed it. It was just another day.

Do you remember the brief period when i was 15, when i dated a girl? I assume you dont, because you never found out. I lived in constant fear, because the comments you would make at the dinner table described lgbtq+ as an affront to God, as unnatural. I had thought that men were the problem, and she was my first real partner. But nothing changed, it still felt wrong, and we fell back into only being friends. I hadnt told you about that until today, because i knew exactly what youd say about it. I knew exactly what youd say about me.

Do you remember the boy i met when i was 16? The one with the curly hair and the kind smile. You were always pushing me toward him, because you saw how he looked at me (i saw, too- and i didnt like it). He took me to homecoming, and prom, and danced too close to me for my liking. You always asked if we were a thing yet- and when i said no, you smiled knowingly. I hated that smile. And you smiled that smile for years.

I reconnected with him when i was home over winter break. We hung out once, i told him my sexuality, and he barely reacted. When you asked how it went, i told you i rejected him romantically, but we were still friends. Do you remember what you said, mom? You said, "so you broke his heart and left." I cried that night.

Do you remember when you found my aroace pins a month ago? Im at college in a different state- a religious college you wanted me to go to- and you still made it your priority to berate me for it. I dont know if you could tell how angry i was over the phone, but when you said "asexual and things are just looking for attention", it broke my heart.

Because i figured it out when i was 17. Because it took me two years to finally accept it in a religion that very strongly emphasized the family unit. Because i finally felt accepted, i felt heard, i wasnt being dismissed at every corner. Because i had something to explain why i was like this.

Because i finally didnt feel broken.

I never doubted that you loved me- not once, ever, in my life. Not until you started degrading me for something i couldnt control. Not until you started pressuring me to date people i would much rather be friends with. If youre not going to love all of me, then do you even love me at all?

I hope you know that i still love you, despite everything. But i hate the way you talk to me now, the way you talk to others about me. And i hope that one day, you, too, will realize that im not broken, or affronting God, or unnatural. I hope you realize that im still your child.

I hope you realize im still human.

[stupidlittlespirit]

Can you give me more examples of Alex disliking Ford? I’ve always kinda felt it, but I never really had much of a real grasp on it.

Okay so this is the part where I look crazy because I can't give you specific examples LMAO but I'll try to explain what I mean. It's more in what he doesn't say than what he does.

Alex doesn't ever come right out and state 'I hate Ford', but he implies his distaste for him through his treatment of him. The way he hasn't gone harder/more explicit on drawing lines about Ford's abuse, or talking about how Ford suffered terribly during the time he was alone, for example. The way he blames Ford inherently for a lot of stuff that Ford, while not blameless, isn't fully at fault for. It's little things, and I'll detail them below.

TW below: Abuse, discussions of victimhood and irl consequences.

He extends more sympathy to other characters whereas Ford is sort of an afterthought. I don't actually think Alex has fleshed Ford out very well in his own head. Remember when he said that he didn't even know that Bill was going to be the main villain? They were flying by the seat of their pants for a lot of the series and it's quite clear in some elements. Obviously, the series is wonderful, I love it, it's one of my favourite shows of all time and Alex is a true talent, but it's obvious which characters are more important to him. He favours Bill a lot, too, so when his disliking of Ford/being ambivalent about him meets his enjoyment of Bill, only one of those dogs is coming out of the fight alive and it ain't Ford.

I think Alex is a genuine talent, I admire his work and his writing. He seems lovely. But I do also think he lacks in skill when it comes to complex abuse depictions.

I see a running theme that he isn't very good at portraying it specifically via 'unlikeable' characters. I mentioned on a previous post that he did this with Pacifica until people expressed empathy with her, and then he decided to round her out. He stated that himself during an old interview; I can't source it but I remember it vividly because it flagged red in my head that he couldn't see she was just a product of her environment. She's a twelve year old girl, for god's sake, she isn't 'just a horrible person', it makes a person sound like Bill when they beef with kids like that lol.

Another thing is in TBoB, there's a really horrendous page where Ford is tortured. It is visceral and awful, and tbh I wish I'd have been able to ask Alex what his top 5 horror movies were when I saw his talk because the scene is very reminiscent of a lot of my fav horrors.

But anyway, it is literal torture and it is also communicating about how helpless Ford is. He's a victim and a 'weak one' at that. Nothing he can do will stop Bill's abuse, he's stupid for trying, he's pathetic, he deserves it.

Now, that is a take I see with Ford a lot. He deserves it. He's asking for it. And it's a really upsetting one. It's also a common narrative told by people who blame victims for the abuse they suffered.

Not once have I ever seen Alex defend Ford. Not once have I ever heard him say 'Ford didn't deserve this', 'Ford suffered as much as Stan'. Not once.

Considering that he said he took 'inspiration' from his friend's 'toxic' relationships (I also think this is a strange and slightly perverse thing to do btw), I would have thought he might feel more strongly about pushing away this narrative about victims deserving their treatment.

I, obviously, also don't know for sure that he did take inspo from friends; he could well be describing his own experiences and just not feel comfortable saying so because men do suffer a different kind of stigma around being abused. That's fine, he doesn't have to out himself or anything, that would be horrible. But it's just the way he reacts to fans and speaks about the victim (Ford) that makes me think he's a bit more removed from this specific experience than it being personal.

There are many types of abuse. Ford's experience is familial, relationship-wise (platonic, because nothing about his relationship with Bill is romantic in the most basic sense of the term, if anything you can liken that side of things to sexual abuse) and personal. Ford then abuses himself as a reaction to outside abuse. Not his fault, again, but it does happen and it's a common thing for victims to do. I did.

Ford does nothing but suffer.

I truly don't believe that if you loved and cared for your character, you would be willing to watch your audience tear them apart like that after they had already been through so much and were not actually a villain themselves.

Especially if you had, or knew other people who had, experience with that kind of abuse. He doesn't let it happen to Stan, he came down hard on people when they did it to Dipper, and to Mabel, too.

It would kill me to let my OCs be bastardised like that by an audience and I'd be damned if I did a disservice to victims everywhere over something like this.

I think his lack of care is displayed in his treatment of Ford, as opposed to him outright saying he doesn't like him.

I also understand that this analysis also comes from a deeply personal point of view and my own experience with this topic, too.

This is a TV show, it isn't real and I don't need to take it so seriously, but what I do take seriously is seeing the real world reactions of other people. That does hurt. It hurts to see someone who is (very inelegantly and heavy-handedly, btw) depicted as a victim of abuse be laughed at and made into a joke, or flipped on their head and made to be romanticised with their abuser just to make a ship happen.

Fiction doesn't need to be taken seriously except when the lines begin to blur over into real life. We know people are cruel to irl victims and we can see where these lines blur quite obviously.

I think abuse and uncomfortable topics should be depicted, but I also think that as a creator, if you use them, you have a HUGE responsibility to teach and guide your audience into understanding why these things are bad/what makes them so. You shouldn't make jokes about the topic or encourage other people to go off the rails with it.

You can't control people, of course you can't, but you can hold their hand a bit and show them towards the light. If they choose not to follow it then they're probably not bright enough to pick up what you're putting down and that's on them, but you have to try.

Maybe if I hadn't (and my friends and other victims hadn't) been subjected to exactly the same reaction, we wouldn't feel so strongly about this, but it really does feel like a kick in the teeth to see a large number of people behave so grotesquely about abuse.

And just as an aside: I am a victim, I have been/am an unlikeable one, but it does not mean that I deserved what I got and that goes the same for every other 'unlikeable' victim out there.

*deep breath* but other than that I'm totally normal about Ford and not at all mentally ill :)

[jess-the-vampire]

Since Hunter got sent from family to family he probably has some abandonment issues, right? How does he deal with them and how long do you think the process will be until he's not scared anymore that Caleb and Belos would do the same. I can imagine it's a little hard to let those fears go especially if nightmares plague him or if he gets into a fight or disagreement with Caleb and Belos. Of course, both would be fast to reassure him that he won't lose them.

Ooooo, see, this is actually one of the reoccurring themes of this au, something that really makes it specifically distinct from canon's events with their main cast.

Because abandonment issues are not just something hunter has, but philip, and caleb, and then it extends further to luz, king, collector ect ect. A lot of people in this au are strongly affected by feeling left behind, which is a trait that does eventually pull them together, but absolutely has a negative affect on other aspects of their behavior.

So Hunter's never had a real stable home before he ended up on the isles, being tossed as much as he did between places gave him a sense of being unwanted and that there was something wrong with him. He'd just give up on being adopted and would be found going to his special spot in the woods, the place he was told he was "Found" as a baby, and leave letters and messages to his missing parents.

Hoping they would one day read them and come back for him.

When that never happened, he eventually tried to run away, and this time, he made his way into the demon realm and landed in philip's home by pure accident and luck.

Despite Philip's dismissal at the start, his care of hunter and protectiveness of him very quickly hit something for hunter because this is basically what he wanted the whole time. (Though funnily enough this is due strongly to philip's own abandonment issues). So yeah, hunter starts to actually like living there, he's finally getting used to being in some kinda family, people take care of him, he has his own permanent bedroom.

And philip had been planning to return him to the human realm once he got a fixed portal, and this slowly starts to bother him more and more because he can't help but like what he now has. So much so that THAT is his fear on grom, that philip will actually toss him away just like everyone else.

So yeah, you're right about it plaguing hunter's mind, it's pretty bad if it's his worst fear, and even when he's finally adopted by caleb he still needs reassurance from him that things will be different.

Hunter does sometimes need reassurance, and to be reminded he's home, and this won't be another temporary place for him. Sometimes he asks to sleep next to his dad or uncle that night, because knowing they're there helps him feel more secure.

if they fight, hunter is given his space, but no one threatens to throw him out, he's still brought food and toys and anything he needs. He's not punished for being upset, which is what he needs to reassure him this is still his home and people still care about him.

And philip and caleb relate, because they know what it's like to be orphans, to struggle to find a home. It's what makes Caleb want to adopt hunter into the family, it's something philip sees in himself when he looks at hunter.

Philip feels like caleb abandoned him, now another human arrives after so long, and he looks like his brother, in ways he doesn't want to admit.....he doesn't want hunter to leave him either.

And caleb, so many people have left him at this point, and now his current family is separating themselves from him, keeping secrets and lying to him.

(I guess in a way you can say he's now got a better grasp of how philip felt about what he did, and how he hurt him)

And it makes him react for better and worse, trying to not let himself lose anyone again. Even his leaving to eventually live with philip awhile sparks some abandonment issues for luz, who looked up to him for awhile.

i wanted to adapt some of the traits they had from canon, but in the au, rather then just take from canon. While the show never states directly, there is a strong emphasis philip feels abandoned by his brother, and feels like he needs him by his side one way or another, whether he think caleb did that on purpose or not. And hunter in the show wants a sense of belonging, so might as well put that here as well.

The three of them act out due to loss, to people leaving them, they might turns others away as a result, and sometimes are desperate to fix it and keep what they can by doing drastic things based on emotions.

You can imagine after finally fitting as a small little family, how much it hurt for philip to choose to stay with the collector and leave caleb and hunter on earth

They're not a perfect little family, they've all been hurt before, they all still struggle with abandonment, but they're healing, and none of them feel alone anymore.

[disc4rain]

A Gross Invasion of Privacy

Or: how I lost access to my caregiver

I'm disabled and need a caregiver to handle everyday chores. Where I live, that type of help is provided by the state and is a basic right for people who reach a certain disability threshold (aka: me).

I recently moved and had to register for a new caregiver, which took a couple months. I live in a less populated area now so it's fair, they don't have a big office with people at the ready.

I also have a boyfriend but we don't live together and he can't help me outside of weekends. That will become relevant later.

CW: mentions of sexual intimacy and kinks

Turns out my boyfriend and I like to do some kinky stuff in the bedroom, and since I live alone due to my disabilities, my place is where it all happens. (I swear this is relevant.)

While sex toys need to be cleaned and put away after use, some things like bondage accessories don't typically get dirty. And sometimes, putting them away is a waste of time.

I have a bondage thing in-between my bed and mattress, and I never remove it because a) it doesn't get dirty, b) it's a pain to set up and I'm too physically handicapped to handle it, and c) it's virtually invisible unless you're making the bed.

I also have drawers with bondage and sex-related things in my bedroom, but most of it is organized in non-descript boxes within those drawers.

All this to say: my bedroom doesn't look like a BDSM dungeon.

Even then, I asked my caregiver not to touch the bedroom at all. It's in her contract, pretty much all her tasks have a mention like "except the bedroom."

She met my boyfriend when she first came in, and I told her he'd help out on the weekends and with certain tasks. He also takes care of cleaning the bedroom. She joked about her girlfriend being the one doing the cleaning at home, because cleaning her home feels like work to her. The way she said it was a bit awkward but like "hey, I'm gay too, no judgement here" which was good news.

I recently had to take more powerful medication because my health got worse, and I've been very sleepy pretty much all the time due to that. So one day, my caregiver was cleaning up the kitchen area and I was pretty much nodding off on the couch. She told me not to worry, she could finish up and leave even if I fell asleep, so I did.

I woke up after she left because my neck hurt and figured I'd go rest in my bed. I went to my room and immediately noticed the bondage accessory between my bed and mattress was visible, and my blanket was tucked in (which never happens).

Several things on the shelves had been moved around, and most importantly, some of the boxes in my drawers had been opened and not closed properly.

Having a caregiver is hard to accept, because you have to trust someone else with your body, your hygiene, your home, and so much more. Knowing she went into my bedroom when she wasn't supposed to and found out everything there was to find about the last bit of intimacy I felt I had left was a horrible feeling.

I didn't do anything about it because I didn't know how to react. I just kept to myself and refused to do anything sexual after that. It felt tainted, somehow. I felt like an exposed freak, even though I'd done nothing wrong (my bedroom was off-limits, and it looks normal unless you make an effort to look deeper).

My caregiver didn't show up after that, so I called the administration and it took a couple weeks before I got an answer. They sent me a mail which roughly translates to:

"Sir,

Miss [caregiver] no longer wishes to work with you due to the incident on [date at which she went in my room].

We respectfully remind you that our employees must be treated with respect and not exposed to any obscene behavior.

We strongly suggest you find a caretaker more adapted to your needs and behaviors."

I don't know what the fuck she told them but they won't send anyone over to my place. I can't afford a private caregiver so I'm fucked.

I don't want to explain myself to them, I'm obviously fine with telling them my caregiver got into my room when she didn't have to, but I don't want to tell them she found my bondage stuff and the box where I keep my sex toys. I don't want to explain that to anyone except the internet I guess. I don't want my face associated in their minds with the kind of thing I do in the bedroom.

I'm not gonna sacrifice my dignity like that, god knows I've compromised with it too much already. I can't live on my own, I can't work, I can't vote, dignity is maybe the only thing I have left and I'm not compromising on it. It's gonna sound stupid but I would rather die or get sicker than humiliate myself in front of these people.

[cha-melodius]

Hello hello! If I'm not too late for the director's cut ask, would say something about false dichotomy please? I love that fic so much! You've got mail is such a classic and you've made that au so so charming, it brings me a lot of joy 🤍

I talked a bit about the OCs in False Dichotomy here, but I'll take this opportunity to talk about the changes I made from the movie! I'm putting these behind a cut because there are some pretty big spoilers for the fic itself.

@kiwiana-writes wrote a line in one of his director's cut replies about how, when adapting an existing storyline to an AU fanfic, story has to bend to fit character, and I think this fic is the perfect example of that principle. Although the setup of Henry as the heir to a corporate empire and Alex as the 'little guy' does fit at first blush, Henry isn't Joe and Alex isn't Kathleen. In fact, personality-wise, they're just about flopped. There are aspects of Kathleen that are so ridiculously Henry-esque, particularly her love of Pride and Prejudice and also her grief over a parent's death.

I'd like to add, before I get into some of the details, that while I made a bunch of fairly significant changes to better fit the characters, it was important to me to capture the spirit of You've Got Mail. That means not shying away from the small shop's closing, and also staying true to the joy of the finale moment (though this moment comes before the end of the fic). I've read a lot of YGM AUs where, upon the final reveal, the Kathleen-character is often justifiably angry and there's additional angst where the Joe-character has to do some groveling, and yes, it makes sense for those characters to do that, but IMO it kind of fails as an adaptation of the source material because you lose the emotional impact of the original. Which is not to say these stories aren't good or that they don't do what they want to, but to me, the trick to a good media AU is walking that tightrope between originality and honoring the source material. It's not an easy thing to do, IMO. ETA: Of course there are also the times where you like one part of the original media but hate the rest so you say fuck this and fix it, which is completely valid! That's one of the things fanfic is for! I'm also very aware that some people feel that way about YGM lol. But there are those of us who love it despite its flaws, and I wanted to write this fic for them too.

Some more discussion of specific changes I made behind the cut, for spoiler reasons.

Critically, Alex would absolutely not react the same way Kathleen did upon finding out Henry hadn't told him who he was. I strongly felt he needed to be the one to find out Henry's identity first to give him time to come to terms with it and realize that Henry wasn't the person he thought he was. Meanwhile, Henry was much more likely to be forgiving of the long 'deception'/withholding of information because he's been in love with Alex from the start. I also thought having Henry angst over being in love with two 'different' people would be more fun lol.

A big change I honestly always forget about is of course not having them being in relationships with other people. I suppose at the time this was a good excuse for why Joe and Kathleen never met up, but now it's not odd that you might have a long-term internet friendship with someone that never goes beyond online. But I also absolutely did NOT want to fuck with partners and the ending of relationships and all of that noise. No thanks.

I considered doing the 'journalist writes a story about Under the Rainbow' storyline using June as the journalist, but in the end decided it wouldn't really add anything. Instead I added the whole Okonjo shelter storyline, which gave me the excellent excuse to sow doubts in Alex about Henry's awfulness along with being a step forward in Alex's bisexual awakening/coming out storyline.

Finally, I obviously added quite a bit beyond where the movie ends. Romcom movies can get away with end scene on the big kiss, but I wanted to show not only their conversations about what had happened but also the happy ending for Under the Rainbow. It was important to me that it wasn't as simple as the shop closing, the end. I found it kind of funny about how mad some people were about UTR's closing and corporations winning, considering that in the end I freed UTR from the shackles of capitalism to be the best community center/library version of itself.

[trickstarbrave]

WIP Whenever

hiiiii i got tagged by @boethiahspillowbook

this is what i got so far on the azura and nerevar piece. not much further bc im still trying to figure out shading and how i want it to be. oof. also unsure abt azura's halo fsr it just looks.... off on her. and i think i wanna make some of the blood a brighter red to tie in together with all the rest of the red. lots of things im considering...

also for written wips. uh.

unfortunately i only have the. fucking cursed omegaverse nerevoryn im working on. once again never consider anything as like a joke or ironically that is the devil talking and you will start doing things for real.

in my defense though omegaverse is such a wild concept that trying to go "okay but seriously how would this work in a society and why would it be this way" is actually entertaining. very fun to go "yes, and...." over and over. oh, fated mates exist? what if they weren't just a cheesy soulmates thing but had a logical explanation. how would these dynamics effect various social classes? how would different cultures be effected? i have world builder's disease clearly

ALSO i tag anyone who hasnt been tagged yet and wants to :> i cant keep up with which of my mutuals have been tagged or not.... let me see ur ideas pls

--

“... In all honesty,” The healer began, sounding exacerbated, “I have never seen a case like this in all my years. But there is only one answer I can come to based on everything else.”

“Go on.” Nerevar tried to keep his voice level rather than annoyed. Azura knows how terrified most people got when he was angry. 

The healer pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“How familiar are you with fated mates?” At her question, Nerevar froze, stunned, before he gave a loud bark of laughter. The healer, however, did not laugh or smile back, and instead only looked more resolute. 

“... Be serious with me.” 

“I am being serious, Lord Nerevar.” 

“Are you--are you seriously trying to say Voryn is my--”

“I understand how strange it sounds at first.” The healer cut him off. “Typically when someone meets their fated mate they determine it quickly. It only takes a few heat or rut cycles before the draw is undeniable.” She sighed once again. “I can only assume because you knew Lord Dagoth before either of you presented, the draw was less noticeable.” 

It kind of made sense, to a degree. When people wrote about fated mates it was usually that they had a scent that was undeniable. Even passing by them on the street, you couldn’t get the scent out of your head for days on end, trying to find it again and again. Even those who tried to deny it couldn’t refuse the pull forever; heats and ruts were unbearable, the longing overwhelming the pair. No one had ever recorded an account of a fated pair who knew each other prior to presenting though; fated mates were absurdly rare, after all. They were more common in fiction than real life, and only the most hopeless of romantics ever went out actually looking for one. Most people just found a mate they liked rather than chase after some destined person, and why fated mates even existed was a mystery. Did everyone have one but distance kept them from finding one? That didn’t seem likely; the most common belief was that some people were born with them--not many members of the population, anyways--and even fewer actually found their ‘other half’. Someone meeting a fated mate before presenting, when you were children not off exploring the wider world yet, was even more unlikely. How would you react if you could constantly smell and see them before either of you presented?

Dumac told him the dwemer scholars believed it had something to do with ‘reproductive compatibility’. Not that it was a mystical, god given connection like some believed, but rather those with a fated partner were less compatible with most of the population, so when they did find someone they could produce children with easily, the desire to mate was enhanced strongly. Nerevar didn’t know if he liked that explanation either though. He found the ideas the gods made destined partners to love each other forever as too romantic of an idea for reality yes, but presuming there must be something wrong with them wasn’t much better. 

It didn’t seem likely that he and Voryn could just ignore the draw for decades though, right? Surely that wouldn’t be possible. The draw was supposed to be strong, impossible to deny past a certain point.

Sure, when he was younger and Voryn was in a rut he always came by to check on him before he was shooed away, but that was just boredom. And when he was in heat Voryn would pass him notes under the door from time to time that he’d bury in the nests he made, but that was just because being in heat made him feel sensitive and sappy. Nothing more. And shouldn’t there be something more if they were a fated pair?

“Your other symptoms make me more certain of it.” The healer continued, pulling him from his thoughts.

“How so?” Nerevar raised an eyebrow. 

“It isn’t healthy for an unmated omega to be around an alpha in rut.” She replied, a fact that always made Nerevar roll his eyes. “It causes excess stress, even if it doesn’t trigger a heat. Unless you are drawn to the alpha in question as a potential partner, usually a rut is off putting, distressing, or nauseating for an unmated omega.”

“They’ve never bothered me to that extent.” Nerevar snarked.

“Precisely.” She locked eyes with him. “You handle it more akin to an omega who’s already been mated, despite not having the scent of one.” Nerevar tensed at that. He hadn’t thought of it like that in the slightest; why would he? He wasn’t mated. Anyone could smell on him that he wasn’t. “Those who have met a fated partner experience mated behaviors before the bond is even set. Rejecting other suitors, unbothered by others in a heat or rut,” She sighed. “Lord Vivec even explained you are giving off the same scent as a bonded omega whose mate is absent.” Nerevar’s cheeks flushed at that. 

“That’s--” Nerevar tensed slightly, “I wouldn’t go that far.” Surely Nerevar wasn’t. He wasn’t fucking bonded, why would he be throwing out the same scent as an omega who went into heat, begging for their mate to come tend to them? 

“You are.” She asserted, though she did have some sympathy in her gaze at least. “Unfortunately, the best I can do is, if you truly don’t want the bond, I can give you suppressants. They won’t actively stop it given you already went into heat, but they should calm some of the worst side effects.” Nerevar already knew what she was going to say next though. “But your next one will be much of the same. The side effects will continue to worsen.” Short of running away to the other side of the continent and burning anything he owned that Voryn had ever so much as touched, he would be able to smell Voryn faintly, after all. In the palace, on his belongings, anywhere Voryn had been might trigger the worst of the symptoms all over again now that he had a heat triggered by his rut no doubt. 

“At the very least, Lord Dagoth is in control of his emotions.” Voryn’s eyebrow twitched at that, his arms tightening. “You can spent ruts and heats together without actually mating, until you come to a decision on how to proceed. It should alleviate both of your struggles.” 

Shit, Nerevar hadn’t even considered what Voryn must be going through. Was his irritation and lack of eating because he subconsciously knew Nerevar was supposed to be his but wasn’t there by his side? When he was younger was that out of character, violent rage because he knew, right there in the stronghold, his mate was being kept from him? No doubt the next rut Voryn would be uncontrollable; before he could hold back because he wasn’t consciously aware of what he wanted, but now that he knew it was Nerevar… 

[queen-dahlia]

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭

ღ 𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝟭 & 𝟮 ღ 𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝗘𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 ღ 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘂𝗺 𝗘𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 ღ 𝗘𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲 ღ

I suggest to read this first before the premium bc halfway of premium ending is the continuation of sweet ending

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback

I thank Walter and leave the infirmary.

(What should I do after this? Do I go to Gilbert's room, or do I just go back to my room...)

I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I could not react quickly when someone suddenly covered my mouth from behind.

Emma: "Hmm...!?"

(What!?)

A strong force pulls me into a nearby room and closes the door.

I have not yet seen the face of the person who is imitating the kidnapper, but I guessed him by his cold hands.

Gilbert: "You seem calmer than I thought you'd be, but you're more scared of me being jealous than of those kidnappers...?"

(This feeling... it seems that he knows that I have met Walter.)

Gilbert does not like me to talk to other men, even if it is on a necessary errand.

… Incidentally, the same jealousy can be directed at me even when I am talking to a woman in a friendly manner, so the standards are very strict.

(I can't talk to anyone if I have to look at their faces every time, so I have to be able to let this one slide.)

I turn my body around and embrace Gilbert in my arms.

Emma: "You know why I went to Walter, don't you?"

Gilbert: "So am I supposed to forgive you?"

Emma: "… Gilbert, if you had told me from the beginning, I would not have gone to see him."

Gilbert: "You understood that I didn't want you to know, didn't you?"

Despite the reproachful tone of his voice, his hand is gentle as he strokes my hair.

Gilbert: "Your actions could have gotten anyone else killed, you know?"

Emma: "But you're not going to kill him, are you?"

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

Emma: "Do you intend to repeat the same thing in the future?"

Gilbert's complexion is much better than it was at one time.

However, he seems to be weaker than most people, and according to Walter, he often gets sick from the slightest thing.

(That's why I've heard he needs regular checkups on a monthly cycle.)

He never shows that in my presence, but that's just because he's good at hiding it.

(Every time he gets weak like that, he disappears from the castle without saying anything to anyone, enduring alone…)

Gilbert: "Guess what. I just want to be a cool guy in front of you."

Emma: "… I don't think it's cool for someone to hide their condition."

Gilbert: "You're so harsh. Do you really want to see me so weak?"

Emma: "… Because if it's hidden, I can't do anything about it."

Emma: "I can't rub your back, hug you, or do anything when you're in pain."

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

Emma: "Gilbert, you told me that you cherished me more than your family…"

Emma: "The family I know is one that supports each other."

Emma: "Family is the one person you can feel safe enough to turn to when you're not feeling well, instead of hiding it…"

Emma: "… At least that's how I see it."

(I finally understood after sorting it out in words. Gilbert said, "I'm family because he didn't kill me…")

(If you don't kill me, it's the same with a lover... The difference with family is whether or not you can trust each other.)

It is not easy for a prince in a country of deceit and corruption to trust people.

I must face this with that understanding.   //   We must face it with that understanding.

Emma: "I want to be the kind of person that Gilbert would trust."

Emma: "Only then can I win your trust and confidence so that you'll be willing to show me your weakness…"

Emma: "I think we can get married and truly be a family."

Gilbert: "… I see. That's what you think."

He hugs me so tightly and strongly that I can't see Gilbert's face.

(... I can't breathe—)

I beat my chest, suffocating to the point that I seriously thought I was going to be killed.   //   I feel like I'm seriously going to be killed, and I feel like I'm going to die.

I was released just as my chest was about to squeeze, and I sucked in lungfuls of air.

Gilbert: "I'm sorry. I just thought I liked you…"

Emma: "Why… would you squeeze me if you thought you liked me…"

Gilbert: "I'm torn between wanting to make you forever as you are and knowing that I can't."

Gilbert: "Of course I don't mean to kill you."

(... This guy...)

Gilbert gently strokes my back as I cough lightly.

Gilbert: "… I love you."

Gilbert: "Because I love you, I want to look cool, and I don't want to show you some of the things I don't want you to see." **

Gilbert: "But you're right, that's a sign of not trusting."

Gilbert: "I thought I had made up my mind to trust you, but I haven't."

Gilbert: "It made me laugh to realize how cowardly I was."

(… It must be difficult for you to believe in me because you love me.)

(Because Gilbert was betrayed by many things in the past...)

Perhaps his heart is subconsciously defending itself against me.

(Just as I am traumatized by the situation without Gilbert in the castle...)

(For Gilbert, loving me is a trauma in itself.)

Emma: "… I'm fine with that."

Emma: "Someday, when you are truly at peace with me, Gilbert... I want to become your family."

When I kissed Gilbert, who was smiling sadly, he returned the kiss as if he were playing with me.

Gilbert: "… Hehe, did you think I'd give up after you said that?"

Emma: "… Huh."

Gilbert: "If we can't have a wedding, why don't we have an engagement ceremony?"

Emma: "Engagement ceremony...?"

Gilbert: "Because I don't want to have to wait until you're ready to wear the dress, do you?"

Gilbert: "That was supposed to be a wedding dress, but let's call it an engagement dress."

Gilbert: "As you've probably guessed by now, people like me want to live, but we never know when we're going to die."

Gilbert: "Disease, assassination—at least far more death-oriented than the average person."

(. . . . . .)

Gilbert: "So, you know. I want to do what I can now while I can."

Gilbert: "There is no guarantee that you will be able to do what you want tomorrow."

(That's why…)

(… That's why he suddenly started talking about having a wedding...)

Maybe the owner was right, and Gilbert was in a hurry.

(He's a really bad person. He's prepared to die tomorrow, and he's going to marry me...)

Gilbert: "You only have two choices: you can be with me or you can be forced to be with me, right?"

Emma: "… I understand."

(There's no way... I can say refuse.)

(No, even if I could refuse, I wouldn't. The engagement would be a promise that would bind the future, even for Gilbert.)

Emma: "Can you just give me a few more days?"

Gilbert: "Ehh... Do you have to prepare mentally for the engagement ceremony? Even though we don't invite any guests."

Emma: "… Do you say something like, "Because you don't want anyone to see me in a dress?"

Gilbert: "Ahaha, you know me so well, don't you?"

(I kind of figured that would be the case.)

I can't help but laugh at his unchanging jealousy and troublesomeness.

Emma: "Even if there are no guests, there is something I want to prepare. So please."

Once again, this time I kissed him more deeply than before.

Gilbert: "I don't know where you learned how to beg like this."

When our lips parted, Gilbert nuzzled his forehead against mine and laughed ticklishly.

Gilbert: "Okay? I'll wait until you're ready or something."

Gilbert: "But I'm not going to give you that much time, all right…?"

Emma: "Thank you. That's all I need."

(I'm sure that the very prepared Gilbert has a ring ready for me...)

(So I should have something suitable, too.)

══════════════════

—And so it was three days later when everything was ready.

The sound of heels echoing in a dance hall that is no longer in use.

(It's dazzling…)

Wrapped in the sunlight streaming in through the all-glass windows, I couldn't help but squint.

Gilbert: "When the royal families of Obsidian get married, they hold their gorgeous ceremonies here."

Gilbert: "A ceremony to which many guests are invited to inscribe absolute obedience to the new royal family."

(When I hear it like that, it's not so dreamy or romantic...)

Turning my head next to him, I see that Gilbert is dressed in a black tuxedo instead of his usual military uniform.

A single black rose that blooms on his chest tickles me somehow.

(The tuxedo looks good on him. He's usually good-looking, but now he looks more like this…)

(… Oh, no. My face gets hot when I look at him.)

When I looked away, it was blown out.

Gilbert: "Hehe, you're easy to read, aren't you?"

Emma: "… I think it's wrong that Gilbert is too good-looking."

Gilbert: "Heh... You can't speak for others either, can you?" **

Gilbert: "You're so beautiful and cute that I want to pounce on you right now."

Emma: "… Gilbert, you have prepared this dress for me."

The jet-black dress with a long hem was supposed to have no fancy pattern, but it had a gorgeous shape and was pretty even before I put it on.

Gilbert: "Oh no, it's not the dress that's pretty, it's you, okay?"

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "You're embarrassed."

Emma: "… More importantly! What are we going to do now?"

(My face is getting hotter and hotter.)

I was becoming increasingly unable to look at Gilbert's face, but he turned around as if he didn't care about that, and his cold palm brushed my left hand.

Gilbert: "Of course we will have an engagement ceremony, right? Normally, the Emperor is supposed to witness and certify the engagement of royalty..."

Gilbert: "You know... right?"

Emma: "... I suppose so."

(I don't need a witness for my engagement to Gilbert.)

Gilbert: "Well, there we go."

Gilbert thumps and taps his finger on his own lips.

(I think he means to kiss me as a vow.)

(I have no idea what an engagement ceremony is in the first place.)

When I lifted my heels a little and obediently put my lips on his, for some reason he put his hand behind my head—

(!?)

When he bites my lip and opens it, a naughty tongue begins to violate my mouth.

Unlike the somewhat sacred kiss of vows, this kiss was simply obscene.

(… T-this is not what I imagined…!)

The solemn dance hall begins to echo with sounds that ruin the gentle morning atmosphere.

Because of the large space, the sound of the water echoed more vividly than usual, and I felt a sense of shame even more than usual.

Aiming at the moment when our lips separate, I put my left hand between our mouths.

Emma: "That's too much!"

Gilbert: "It's a kiss for the vows, so it should be just right that it's overdone."

Gilbert: "Or what? Was the little rabbit's love so small that it was overcome by shame?"

Emma: "It's not, but it's a problem if I can't stand—"

(... Huh?)

I feel uncomfortable with the hand I lifted to protect my lips from the naughty kiss.

When I raised my hand to confirm its true nature, I found a shiny, jet-black object on my ring finger.

Emma: "… A ring..."

(When did this happen!?)

A black rose made of obsidian is blooming on my finger.

As I gazed in amazement, he gently squeezed my hand.

Gilbert: "Emma, you're going to wear it until I give you the wedding ring. If you ever take it off... okay?"

(I can feel the bloodlust... But even that bloodlust feels sweet, so I'm in trouble.)

As I squeeze back the cold hand, the obsidian rose glistens in the sunlight.

Emma: "I will cherish it. Thank you, Gilbert."

Gilbert: "You're welcome. By the way, it's handmade by me."

Emma: "I figured as much."

(It's the only ring in the world... I'll never part with it.)

Gilbert: "Now you can’t run away from me forever, can you...?"

Looking at Gilbert's happy smile, I was confident that no matter what happened in the future, I would not regret it.

(So... even if I'm dealing with the biggest villain on the continent, I won't hesitate.)

Emma: "Gilbert, me too..."

Slowly, I remove my hand and walk towards the shadows of the dance hall pillars.

When I was told that the engagement ceremony would be held here, the "gift" was hidden in advance.

(I can also surprise Gilbert with my magic tricks…)

(I can't even make something as nice as an obsidian rose...)

Emma: "Here you go."

I opened the package and held out a necktie in front of Gilbert.

It is a black tie for everyday use, but with embroidery on the end.

The embroidery, which is made of white thread in the shape of a rose, should look like a black rose from a distance.

(Gilbert once told me that the black rose means "you are mine...")

(I really wanted to give it to him as proof of our engagement.)

Gilbert: "… Do you know, Little Bunny? A tie means that you want to bind your partner."

Emma: "I chose it because I know."

(Because you are mine, and I want to bind you forever.)

(I won't let you go away without permission.)

Emma: "Like you, Gilbert, who always binds me, I have no intention of letting go."

Emma: "Don't expect to die easily."

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "… Ahaha, I see..."

Gilbert: "I guess so. You don't seem to make it easy for me to die."

Gilbert: "I will live as long as I can."

Emma: "Absolutely."

Gilbert: "… I understand."

Gilbert: "You don't like being lonely, do you?"

Emma: "Yes… Please don't make me feel lonely."

(… Don't disappear on your own again.)

Gilbert's wavering red eye comes closer, and our lips meet again.

No further words were needed from us.

[demonicintegrity]

Watching from the sidelines as photomatt makes a fool of himself. and I'm just tired.

Listen im not gonna say "i hope someone dies in a car explosion full of hammers" has like, the strongest high ground standing. I'm above that. So may you. But I am gonna say it highlights the double standards pretty well. Are we gonna pretend like half the site wasn't openly wishing for Trump or any sort of alt-right politician to die? Not even like in a cartoony way? Just straight up memes about preparing the crave rave if anyone went? Which was a lot more passionate and strongly motivated than this? I watch so many people get straight up nazis in their askbox. I see so many bigots remake blogs without a sweat if they're even deleted in the first place. Misinformation and racist memes abound. But this small thing gets someone and all their blogs nuked off the website? Okay. Sure. Yeah. That tracks.

Hell, the fact no one can even tag him now shows a special standard. Wdym none of us can blocked being mentioned by others but the specialist ceo can because he's getting flamed for his own double standards? We can actually, its just buried in my settings I didn't know was possible until writing this and double checking. LMK if yall knew that was an option cuz I sure as hell didn't. @staff can still be mentioned and replied to on some of their posts, I'm sure some genuis is gonna have the bright idea to bother them even though they have no control over him. Hell, I've seen them being tagged in posts about policies and drama and all that! The ability to bother the working folks is never taken away but the ceo is above that.

(and no, it's not comparable to a kys joke, which I have never and will not ever condone. That's a fucking crime and terrible.)

(And if the average person can't get the police to do anything about the weirdos in their dm's, if celebrities couldn't get the police to help by being stalked by paparazzi, I doubt they're gonna take "someone on the internet I don't know wished I would be dead by a silly way" seriously. They wouldn't even take my roommates bike being stolen on camera seriously. That was a bluff out of his ass and we know it. He just wants to throw around power he doesn't/shouldn't have.)

("I hope X person dies" is harassment at best but not a credible death threat. It's hard to prove any sort of legitimate attempt behind the words. I would know, queer people get told they should be dead all the time and there's nothing that can be done because it's not a threat. I don't even think it was mentioned at him or anything like that, so it wasn't even intended to be seen by him. So yeah.)

And that's what all the outrage is about. It's the double standards. It's about how all these legitimately awful people still stick around because its not hard, but some random queer or otherwise marginalized person will get scrubbed off the face of the Earth because they were a little rude once. Or because they've done nothing at all. Remember when normal-horoscopes' blog got nuked for no fucking reason at all? Have no idea if that blog was ever restored. But man, all those posts unable to be searched for again.

And to be clear, I'm not surprised by this. In the slightest. When have ceo's ever reacted will to the people using their product not giving a shit about them? I may not know the entire story of who this trans women is and her history but like. But this part doesn't shock me. It sucks but its not surprising when Whatever Rich Ceo picks an enemy out of thin air and tries to drag them around as an example. It's happen so many times. I'm not shocked.

Nor does seeing the transphobia spike AGAIN because of it.

It's just exhausted that I set up myself here all comfy and everyone I follow is considering jumping ship again. I doubt I'll ever use any of the tumblr copycats. I got rid of my twitter. I've been putting off making an instagram for forever. If this goes assume your best chance is finding me on discord or by carrier pigeon. And ill be upset as hell because I love tumblr, it's my homebase, and I just set up my art blog here.

Yeah. So none of this is surprising. Disappointing, but not a surprise. You mean the website that regularly thinks any depiction of a queer person deserves a mature label with no ability to really appeal and fight against that, is being mean to a trans person?? Is the sky being blue also shocking??

Yeah whatever. This isn't changing or personally affecting me in any way but like. Man. Sure. Okay. Might as well be an issue on top of the others on this god forsaken webbed cite.

[l-in-the-light]

Glad you enjoyed :D I was always curious how Traffy and the rest of Strawhats get anything to eat in Wano, meanwhile Law's powers are like perfect for sneakily stealing small amounts of food. So who knows! It's just peculiar that Luffy would even pay attention to people complaining about stolen food in the middle of that chaos before, especially with Tama in danger. But it's Luffy, he always manages to surprise me despite the fact his reactions are often so predictable haha.

Law and Luffy's reunion in Wano makes me happy like nothing else! I'm not obsessed with them, I swear. Okay maybe I am. And that reunion reminds me of one more fun observation, this time less comedy and more whimsical and serious:

Instead of a greeting, Law tells Luffy "This is rebellion" (to which Luffy replies "no, it isn't!"). Btw Law never does any greetings, like ever. Not even to his crew when they reunite in Zou. He would rather die than say "hi", that's the kind of guy he grew up to be, lol. One of my friends is exactly the same which might be why I find it so funny.

And then we have this scene, few chapters later. Luffy remembered what Law actually told him (he did pay attention!): this was rebellion, it will have consequences, and now Luffy takes it seriously and is worried about people in Okobore town. Law's answer is very interesting here, because it's kinda callback to this one:

And this gives a new light on why he reacted so strongly here. Headcanon interpretation time!

Law knew this rebellion will have bad consequences, and while he mostly complains that it will bring troubles for their alliance and the future raid, he must have been aware already that the biggest backlash will fall on people of Okobore town for something Luffy did without thinking too much about it. And despite knowing that - he doesn't comment on it besides this little comment about "pirates doing nice things for people". He could have scolded Luffy here, tell him how his "good deed" will end and point out that it will be Luffy himself feeling sorry in the end, but... he didn't.

I think he wanted Luffy to see the consequences of his actions, to teach him a lesson (again, isn't that what an older brother figure would do?) while just watching over him. He could have just told him and see Luffy trying to beat everyone up to defend Okobore town, but that wouldn't make Luffy truly understand that as a pirate he can do whatever he wants and face no consequences: he can just escape from the country, meanwhile those poor folks at Okobore town are stuck living there all their lives and can't just run away. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't the most obvious thing you can do and you need to always think about consequences of your actions or you might do more harm than good.

That last panel is even more interesting because we have actually three different points of view there about what Luffy did: Law's "this doesn't seem right" reaction, Luffy's "We did something right!" and Kiku's "You did something wrong: stealing is wrong". This really shows how Wano arc is just so different from other arcs, kinda more mature in story (but still has stupid gimmicks, god bless Oda for that). Because what makes a good deed truly a good deed? When you're proud of yourself, thinking you helped but actually did it for your own sake? Or by abiding to higher morals: don't do right by having to do wrong first? Or making sure to keep in mind consequences of your actions as well, while not even caring to take the credit for the deed? That last one sounds to me like a definition of a hero and while that's Law's prefered answer here raises many interesting question marks. We know by now he idolizes Sora Warrior of the Sea after all.

I like how Law's lesson here concludes. Luffy isn't even there with him, but Law stays firm in his belief, even if it means ignoring people in need at the moment. The lesson extends to the whole of Strawhats crew. Law instead tries to focus on the bigger picture, because one small rebellion is not gonna overturn the whole country so that people can finally live in a better place. One can read it as well as sacrificing small things for the big reward, I guess, but I don't think that suits Law's personality in particular:

He actually likes to share and focuses on smaller things, while leaving the big reward to others. And how did Luffy define a hero again? One that gives away his food to others? *looks at the picture again* again a certain someone gets hero-coded here Luffy can share the meat, but he also wants to have the meat for himself as well. Meanwhile Law has no problem with sharing, but he makes sure to take a few bites too. They really fill each other's gaps there.

Also I might like to ramble about Law a bit too much. I could discuss him for hours.

Wano lawlu is so boyfriend-coded in the funniest way because you have Luffy who was wrongly accused of stealing safe food from the farm (which won't matter because he stole the freaking supply in broad daylight) and later on, he found out that Law was the sneaky thief and in hindsight, it's like being accused of his boyfriend's crime which makes it comedic gold after he has done worse. Next, he was unintentionally misguided by Law (the boyfriend) about Kin'emon and the others, scaring himself on the process like my sweet summer child you push zombies back into their graves and encountered devil fruit user that uses ghosts to her arsenal so why are you spooked? Is it the way Law cryptically tells the story, moreso, his tone serious as he regarded it with utmost secrecy as its not his truth to laid bare? Luffy, who is known to deep dive directly into trouble and isn't even fazed by the horrors of Thriller Bark, was startled enough to scream.

Law, on the other hand, was neck deep in conversation among the Strawhats and the samurais as if he's talking to his future in-laws. The funniest shit has got to be Sanji calling out Law about the ruckus and you have him reacting like you of all people shouldn't blame me, your captain who is also my boyfriend ally did it and I think it was Chopper or Nami that apologized for the trouble that Luffy has caused and Law reminded them about their main agenda then says he'll go after Luffy (his reckless boyfriend) who took off five minutes ago to fight Kaido.

Like, you can't convince me nothing happened before they temporarily separated in Zou because their Wano interactions felt like they spent a lot of time off screen, especially post-Dressrosa.

(Speaking of off screen bonding, I needed the StrawHearts interactions.)

Yeah, I am normal about them.

[221bshrlocked]

do you trust me?

Paring: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader

Words: 3708

Warning: Lots and lots and lots of touching because Din is getting a massage. Blindfold. Handjob. A sort of foot/hand fetish if you like squint...really really squint.

Summary: It's been a while since Mando came for a massage but things get heated when he asks you for a favor...

A/N: Ok so there was this one anon message I was writing a fic for yesterday when I lost the 1.5K words and it was something along the lines of "imagine Din frequenting your massage parlor and you're a masseuse" so I added a little twist to it because Shy!Din who doesn't want to cross that line until he's 1000% sure you're okay with it does something to me so here you go. I hope you enjoy it people and I'm sorry I lost your message anon. I'll reblog with the taglist later. This is not beta'd!!

You can’t help but smile when your boss comes in and tells you that one of the regulars was asking if you were available for him today. You know who she’s referring to but still tell her that he should be serviced soon since he probably doesn’t have that much time. When she tells you that he specifically asked for you, you tell her that you’ll take him up in the next slot.

It was strange to have someone like the Mandalorian come in for a massage. His people weren’t necessarily known for letting their guard down, especially in an establishment like this. But you felt a sense of pride every time he came in. Granted it was every once in a while, but you enjoyed those sessions immensely. You remember how weird and intimidating it was when he first walked into your room. You couldn’t see a single inch of his skin and you wondered why he would come into a massage parlor when he wasn’t allowed to take off his clothes. He’d quickly explained to you that it was only his helmet that he couldn’t take off. It was a little sad though because for those first few times, he only ever took off his beskar armor. You told him that you would unfortunately not be able to use any of the oils on him since he chose to keep his clothes on and he nodded in understanding.

But then something shifted in the dynamic between the two of you and over the span of a few cycles, Mando, as you liked to call him, began to strip off his layers. You never questioned him about his decisions, ensuring to follow his lead and tell him that he was very much in control of what happened in the room. But as patient as you were, you couldn’t help but feel guilty because maker, why couldn’t he just take off his clothes? It was the most mind-boggling thing you’ve ever experienced. You had adonis on your table come in every day, but just seeing his arms and his waist had your mouth watering. It was pathetic too because no matter how many times you saw him, your heart still skipped a beat when you touched him.

As you finish with your current client and prepare the room, you remind yourself to try and be on your best behavior for his sake. It took the man almost five months to finally feel comfortable enough with you and take off his shirt so you couldn’t go and destroy all of that work. When you’ve set everything up and replaced the candles, you walk out and head towards the front desk. You don’t have to glance around for too long. It’s hilarious how much he stands out next to everyone. As soon as you look at him, Mando’s posture changes and he sits up, his hands clasping his knees as he waits for you to nod at him. You ignore his rigid attitude and whisper something to your boss, smiling back when she turns to Mando and raises an eyebrow at him.

“Come on, I don’t have all day.” You call after him and watch as he stands up and struts towards you. No matter how many times you saw him walk, it’s always a little intimidating when you’re at the receiving end of such a powerful hunter.

“You could have been on your merry way Mando.” You say as you lead him through the hallways. “That’s not how I see it mesh’la.” You stop and turn around to look at him, narrowing your eyes when he almost bumps into you and mirrors your stance. “Are you ever going to tell me what that means?” You think he’s looking past you when he responds and rings his fingers nervously. “You don’t have all day.” The curt comment lets you know he isn’t going to answer your question and you shake your head before you continue to walk towards your room. Before you unlock it, he clears his throat and grabs your wrist to stop you from going any further.

“I- I can come back later, if you’re already booked for today.” You’re a little surprised by his comment but you shrug your shoulders and push the door open for him. “I cleared my schedule just for you so you better not change your mind now.” He turns away from you and stares at the floor before he steps into the room and you let out a breath when he begins to take off his weapons and place them on the corner table.

As you shut the door and move towards the table with the oils and towels, you’re met with a silence like never before. Thinking that he was probably not in the mood to chat, you shut your eyes and count back from ten to calm your nerves. You could do this.

But then you turn around a couple of minute later and you almost drop the bottles of oils when you see Mando’s state of dress. He’s standing in front of the table, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, staring at you through his visor.

You can’t do this.

“Is- is this okay?” Mando asks and you clear your throat quickly before moving the oils to the massage table. “Y-yeah of course. As long as you’re comfortable. Like I said, I don’t want you to think that you have to do anything.”

“I know…I- I trust you.”

Those three words do little to calm your nerves and you look up at him as soon as the admission registers in your brain. You aren’t sure if it was normal to react this strongly to such a simple declaration but you turn away from him to give him some privacy as he hopped onto the table.

“Can I ask you something mesh’la?”

“Hmm.”

“Do- do you trust me?” His question catches you off guard yet again and you tilt your head at the odd timing of it before you nod. “Of course Mando!”

“Then can you do me a favor?” You hope he’s about to ask you what you’ve been silently craving for months but then he brings out a simple cloth and you’re confused.

“I would like to feel…relaxed, and this helmet makes it difficult to- to…I can’t take it off in front of anyone. I understand if this is too much but if you don’t mind, could you maybe-” You know what he’s asking as soon as he brings up the helmet and without missing a beat, you walk around and take it out of his hand.

“Sure, but I won’t be able to see if I’m doing something that you don’t like. I tend to read body language but this will be more difficult, so you’ll need to speak up. Deal?” You wait until he gives you his confirmation before you return to table. As soon as you see him move to lay down, you turn around and wait until he’s comfortable before you raise the blindfold to your eyes. Mando watches as you twist it tightly around your eyes before you tie it, waving his hands several times in front of you to make sure that you don’t see him.

“Ok, I can’t see anything so…um, hand me the urn with the light-yellow oil please?” You call to him and force yourself to stay quiet when he takes your hand in his and places the urn between your palms. You thank him and wait until he tells you that you can begin. As you test the temperature of the oil, you hear a soft hissing sound coming from the top of the table and you stop your movement when you hear Mando setting down the helmet on the floor.

“Just umm, let me know when I can begin yeah?”

“Go ahead mesh’la, I’m ready for you.”

It never occurred to you that he might sound different without the vocoder and you grip the urn tightly as his voice rings through your ears. It was much deeper and hoarse than you thought it would be and for a moment, you wish you could hear it as he whispers the filthiest desires across your skin. But you bite your cheek and keep yourself under control as you step forward.

“Here, let me help you.” Without warning, Mando grabs your hand and rests it on his chest, and you think that this is probably the moment where you die of sheer sexual frustration.

“Thank you,” you whisper to Mando as you bring the urn above your head and begin to slowly pour the oil across of his chest and stomach. You vaguely feel his arms moving but you say nothing and put the urn aside as you begin to spread the oil across his skin. No matter how many times you massage him, you always felt giddy touching him. He wasn’t exactly ripped per se but he was muscular enough for his job, with some softer muscles here and there.

As you dug your fingers into his skin, you hoped he wasn’t staring at you because you were sure your skin was flushing deeply the more you felt him twitch and flex beneath you. You could tell the past month or so has taken a toll on him because the more you kneaded and stretched his muscles, the louder his gasps and groans grew.

But then you passed over his nipples and you swore he was murmuring curses beneath his breath. Opting to just move on and not apologize, you dig your knuckles into his pectoral muscles and hold back from commenting on how solid they felt. As you move to his shoulder, you could tell that he really was in need of relaxing because there were too many knots in just a small area. Mando is keeping silent the entire time and you thank the maker that he was a usually a quiet guy because there was no way could survive hearing his voice for a long period of time.

Taking a deep breath, you pour some more oil on your hands before you take hold of his arm and begin to stretch it. Mando says nothing as you bend it and move your fingers across his biceps and if he flexes for you, it’s a completely unintentional reflex. When you reach his hand and push your fingers into his palm, Mando swears again, turning his full attention to you as you try to loosen his ligaments. You know you don’t need to spend that much time on his hands but you’ve always loved how much bigger and thicker they felt compared to yours. It also felt a little intimate feeling someone’s hand relaxing between yours, but you kept that bit of information to yourself, not wanting Mando to feel nervous around you.

You slowly walk around the table and apply the same attention to his chest and left arm, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way you were clenching your thighs together as you felt his fingers curl around your wrist as you massaged his forearm.

“Moving onto the legs so if there’s anything you’re not comfortable by, let me know.”

“Yeah,” you almost jump when you hear Mando’s response because…was his voice this deep earlier?

Deciding to just go for it, you twist the towel far enough until it reaches his thighs and begin to pour oil on his thick muscles. You swear he didn’t look this tall but you realize that perhaps the armor didn’t make him look big, just more intimidating. As you squeeze the flesh of his inner thighs, you hear his breathing become erratic and you stop for a second to give him a chance to say something. When he doesn’t, you return to the task at hand and try your hardest to not think of the appendage that was not too far from where you were touching him.

Fuck, this should not be turning you on this much.

You’re not sure what it is about this situation that’s making you this needy and you think that’s it’s perhaps the blindfold but you brush the thought aside immediately, knowing that your brain would not be shy from thinking of more inappropriate scenarios involving blindfolds and liquids should it wanted to.

Pretending you weren’t just daydreaming about the Mandalorian bending you over this table and fucking you into the next parsec, you move to the other side and attend to his other upper thighs. Maker, this man really as built like a hunter. Well, he was an actual hunter so-

“Where did you go?” Mando’s voice breaks you out of your haze and you take your hands off of him when you realize he may have actually been staring at you.

“S-sorry I was just- well, it’s nothing important. Never mind.” You smile embarrassingly at him before you move to his feet and spread them apart. Mando’s sudden intake of breath sends a panic down your back and you take your hands immediately off of him.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No! N-no, you’re…carry on.” He’s quite breathless as he speaks to you and furrow your eyebrows before you return to knead at his feet. And just like earlier, your thoughts take a turn for the worst when you notice just how large his feet were. They were much bigger than your own little hands and you think that maybe, just maybe, they might be proportional to his-

“That tickles,” Mando’s chuckle would have brought you to your knees had you been focusing on what he’s saying and you apologize before moving onto his other foot and finishing it quickly.

“Alright, turn for me Mando.” You tap his legs and wait for him to move, all the while trying to not think of him turning you around and spreading your legs to-

“Ready.” You silently curse him for always cutting off your train of thoughts but you bite your tongue and move to the other side of the table. Standing right in front of his head, you pour more oil on his back and attempt to ignore his whimpering which you were sure he wasn’t aware of. Once there is no more oil, you mirror your actions from earlier and dig you knuckles into his shoulder blades, finding the tense muscles and tendons much more difficult to relax than his front.

“Maker…you’ve been working hard haven’t you Mando?” You only get a small groan in return and you chuckle when you massage a particular spot that has him reaching out and grabbing on your legs.

“Oh…uhh please,” if it was possible to choke on air, you would have done so as soon as he moaned for you. This was not what you signed up for when you first woke up today, and you hated how much more relaxed he felt in your presence because the lower you moved down his back, the more confident his groans grew and before you knew it, he was whispering your name and speaking in his mother tongue. You weren’t sure if he was saying good or bad things, but from the way he was reacting to you, you had an idea of how he was feeling. And by the time you got to his calves, the man has pretty much melted underneath you.

As you finished up and moved away from the table so he could take his time to get up, you felt a strange haze wash over you. Something about the way he moaned your name along with expletives and maker knows what else had you wishing he could just muster up the courage to step over that line with you.

Slowly turning around, you wait until Mando begins to sit up before you speak up.

“I hope you don’t take too long before you visit again…it’s difficult to get you to loosen up when there’s so much pent-up energy.” You smile and hope he can tell that you’re joking with him, not realizing how much danger you were in just from being near him.

“It won’t help.”

You’re shocked by his response because he’s never actually insulted you before and you’re about to bite his head off when he grabs your wrist and pulls you towards him.

“M-mando wh-”

“It’s not going to help, because I still have a lot of pent-up energy mesh’la. And you’re the one to blame.”

It’s like a zap of lightening has struck you down because as you try to free yourself from his grasp, you accidently brush something beneath the towel he has around his waist, something that was tenting the fabric and making it much harder to the touch.

“I’ve been trying to convince myself to visit you for so long sweet girl, but I stop myself from pushing in the coordinates when I remember how good it felt to have you worshipping me with your hands, your strong, soft little hands that I dream of touching me elsewhere…where I need you, crave you, fucking burn for you.” His words are laced with promises that you’ve longed to hear from him and you don’t realize that he’s waiting for you to answer until his grip tightens around your waist and he pulls you in closer.

“Mando,” you whisper to him as you lean into his neck and before he can ask you again, you slowly leave a trail of kisses across his jaw and down his jugular, not caring for how rough you’re being as you descend down his chest and leave bitemarks across the beautiful skin of his broad torso. He’s already somehow a moaning mess underneath your touch and the more you lick and kiss him, the more needy his groans become.

“Please, let me.” You plead as you raise your lips until they’re brushing against his and as Mando slowly tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss, you dip your hand beneath his towel and firmly grasp his cock. Mando is distracted for a moment and he lunges into you when he feels how your warm hand massaging his dick. Although he normally doesn’t prefer any display of emotion, he can’t hold back from moaning your name as you slowly stroke his length. You’re not surprised by his size, but you’re a little shocked by how hot he runs and as you twist your palm around the bulging tip, Mando leans into you and shoves his tongue down your throat, making sure you don’t run away from him as he slips one arm around your back and keeps you as flush to him as possible.

The room is suddenly filled with the sounds of Mando’s heavy breathing and groaning, and you smile to yourself when you remember how desperate he said he was for you. You’re glad you weren’t the only one feeling such an intense neediness and it’s your turn to gasp when you dip your hand and grab his balls. Mando’s hold on you tightens and you’re sure he’s giving you bruises but you can’t find it in yourself to care because this monolith of a hunter was falling apart just from your hand.

You break the kiss and slowly push him down so he could lay on the table again and as he follows your lead, you smile down at him before you grab the oil and pour a little more of it on his dick. He twitches at the warm material but quiets down as soon as you bring two fingers and shove him in his mouth.

“Be quiet for me baby, don’t want the other clients to think they’ll be getting this treatment too.” Mando bites down on your fingers as he nods and you try to hold back from jumping on the table and sinking down on his cock.

Fuck, it felt like it was beautiful and you hoped that you’d get to see it at some point in the near future. But you were satisfied with what you had now and as you worked him closer to his orgasm, you wished you could see his facial expressions as he surrendered to you.

You could feel him buzzing with energy on the table, and you giggled when he stretched out and grabbed your leg to bring you closer to him.

“Please…oh fuck, please I-”

“Cum for me Mando…cum for me, let me taste you on my lips baby please. You’ve been so good to me, letting me take care of you and trusting me to keep your secret. Go ahead darling, and cum for me.” He suddenly sits up on his elbows and you let go of his mouth before grabbing his balls and massaging them until he fell over the edge. As he growled his release, you couldn’t hold back anymore and leaned down, taking as much of him in your mouth as possible as you sucked on him and tasted his seed. There was so much that you swallowed and you marveled at how much he still had as you continued to milk him dry. When he finally finished and fell to his back, you stroked him softly a few times before licking across his navel to clean him up.

As you stood next to him, you felt a little shy at what was to come. But Mando seemed to see you overthinking because he didn’t waste another minute, sitting up quickly and pulling you in his arms. You stood in between his legs and smiled when he leaned down and began to kiss across your eyes.

“You…you’ve been so good to me mesh’la.” He whispers hoarsely as he nips at your shoulder and you giggle when his scruff begins to tickle your skin.

“So have you.” Mando sighs heavily at your confession and you repeat it one more time so he could believe that you were telling the truth.

“I- I think I’ll start coming more often. You know, so the muscles aren’t too knotted like you said.”

“Hmm, is that all you’ll come for Mando?” You smile when he pecks your lips and brushes your hair aside.

“No sweet girl, I’ll be coming for you too. More than you think.”

[eclipsednodes]

SHADOW WORK SIMPLIFIED

What is shadow work?

If I had to describe shadow work in one word, it would be introspection. Introspection is the examination of your own mental state and is necessary in order to learn more about your fundamental nature. Although it may sound off-putting and even scary at first, shadow work is a necessary component in the process of healing. We all have aspects of ourselves that we’ve rejected and hidden away out of fear. Through shadow work, we’re able to reflect on our thoughts, emotions, and habits so that we can find the root cause of our suffering and heal ourselves. By reincorporating those aspects of ourselves that we’ve denied, we feel more fulfilled and can begin to love ourselves fully. 

Where does shadow work come from? 

The concept of the shadow self comes from Carl Jung who believed that our shadow self is the subconscious aspect, or “dark side”, of our personality that our conscious ego doesn’t identify with. However, I would like to clarify that “dark” does not imply or equate with bad. That which resides outside of our consciousness can be either good or bad, but aren’t inherently reflective of our value or “goodness” as a person. 

Although these repressed aspects of ourselves can manifest negatively, it isn’t because those parts of us are “bad”, but that the process of repression is inherently painful and toxic. This is reflected by Jung when he states, "Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” He believed that until we’ve merged our conscious and subconscious selves, that our conscious would be “the slave of the autonomous shadow”. This is due to the shadow self overwhelming our conscious selves by falling victim to our own self-imposed traps. 

Through assimilating this shadow self, not over-identifying with it, Jung believed we go through the process of enantiodromia, thereby integrating the subconscious by reincorporating our shadow selves into our personality and allowing us to solidify ourselves through wholeness. He best described this by stating "assimilation of the shadow gives a man body, so to speak.” However, don’t fall into the misconception that shadow work is a short-term practice. Shadow work is a continuous practice and integration of the shadow self is a will take place throughout your life.

How do I do shadow work?

In the last question, I identified that practicing self-reflection is a key component of shadow work, but what does that mean? What am I supposed to be reflecting on? Well, the first thing that you should focus on is being present throughout the day. Identify feelings that come up throughout the day and observe them objectively. What situation or interaction triggered these emotions? How did I react to those emotions? Were my emotions controlling me or was I in control of my emotions? Why did this situation or interaction cause me to feel this way? How did I cope with those feelings (self-harming, lashing out at others, communicating my feelings, journalling, etc.)? Did I punish myself for getting upset? If so, why? 

There are numerous ways to reflect on your feelings and experiences in order to get a better understanding of yourself. Through evaluating how you react to situations, which situations upset you, and how you managed those feelings, you’re able to build the foundation to understanding your emotions and bridge the gap between your subconscious and conscious mind.

Once you’ve done this, you’ll find that the emotions you feel in the present are reflective of unhealed emotions from your past. Perhaps the reason you feel that you’re unable to set boundaries as an adult is because as a child, your parents never respected your boundaries by going through your phone or diary, yelling at you when you said no to a request, forcing you into situations that made you feel you had no choice. 

By identifying the root cause of your emotional pain, you’re able to address it in the present and heal from the trauma. The simplest way that I’ve found to address them is through journalling. You can purchase a physical journal or even use your notes app, either way, you’re writing out your feelings and reflections to gain deeper insight. It’s important to remember that this looks different for anyone and that the best way to approach shadow work is by doing what feels most natural! You can choose to stick to self-reflective journal prompts, vent about whatever is upsetting you, write letters to whoever has hurt you, etc. Ultimately, you can guide yourself based off of what you feel you need and where you are in your journey.

What parts of yourself do you find yourself rejecting the most? Many of us have experienced the pain of rejection in some aspects of our lives and sometimes, it’s incredibly painful and leaves us with long-lasting wounds. We end up going through our lives carrying baggage that we don’t even know we have! Many times, I’ve found myself wondering why I felt so repulsed by aspects of myself and why I felt so strongly that they needed to be locked away forever. I couldn’t allow myself or others to see my truest self, my whole self, out of fear. I was scared of being rejected, shamed, humiliated by the people around me. I was scared of hurting other people by being myself and of being hurt by others. That’s no way to live, is it? When we tell ourselves that aspects of ourselves aren’t good enough, we end up going through life devaluing ourself. We’ve broken our own trust by rejecting ourselves, we’ve told ourselves that we aren’t good enough or worthy of love. In shadow work, you’re called to go inward and unpack everything that we’ve kept hidden for years and sometimes even decades. 

Bring the parts of yourself that you’ve repressed to the surface and nourish them with love, allow yourself to see that ALL OF YOU is deserving of love and support. For you, that could mean unlearning your unhealthy beliefs about food or eating, allowing yourself to be emotional around the people you love (despite how much you were told that you were too emotional, a crybaby, too sensitive in the past), allowing yourself to relax without feeling guilty about not being productive because you recognize your needs (even though you feel your sense of worth is tied to being productive at the cost of your own health).

Common misconceptions about shadow work?

Shadow work is evil or bad, the shadow is evil or bad 

The purpose of shadow work is healing through working with your subconscious to release repressed aspects of yourself and heal from painful, traumatic experiences. Your shadow side is simply your unconscious and to believe that it’s bad is to believe that you are bad. It’s merely the part of yourself that you aren’t aware of consciously and shouldn’t be feared. 

Certain emotions are “bad”

When you let go of the idea that emotions are either good or bad, you’ll allow yourself to just be and stop putting so much pressure on yourself to feel “good” all of the time. Happiness isn’t a constant state of being so stop expecting to be all of the time, we have a range of emotions for a reason so stop being ashamed of them. Your feelings are natural and if you feel like they’re out of control and something to be ashamed of, there is nothing wrong with that! It’s okay to feel like your emotions are controlling you because that isn’t permanent. Your feelings aren’t permanent and are completely manageable with proper guidance! The reason you feel like your emotions are controlling you is because you probably don’t have the knowledge to cope with them in an effective and healthy way. It’s helpful to sit with your emotions alone and look at them objectively without placing any judgement on them, this will help you calm down and assess your feelings. From there, you can identify what you need to relax and recover as well as acknowledge to yourself that your feelings are natural. When you stop categorizing your emotions as bad, they’re no longer shameful to experience and therefore you can see with better clarity how to cope with them and move on.

I’ve already released it so…

Why am I still upset?

Why does it still keep popping up in my head?

Why haven’t I moved on?

Why am I not making progress?

With the rise of self development and spirituality, I find that more and more people are rushing to complete their healing. Healing is a continuous, life-long cycle and not a destination. Putting the pressure on yourself to reach the place of ultimate healing is not only toxic, but it impedes your ability to actually heal anything. Healing is about love, compassion, and patience and it’s not going to happen according to a timeline. Allow yourself the time to experience your emotions, see them objectively, forgive yourself and others and move on without the pressure of expectations. 

 Another reason that you could be experiencing this is that despite the work you think you’ve done, it hasn’t been sufficient. I’ve found that a lot of journal prompts provided online are surface level at best and can be more pacifying than revealing. If you’re not feeling anything while doing your inner work, you’re not doing it correctly. Ultimately, this is about uncovering what makes us UNCOMFORTABLE and moving through those feelings. When you allow yourself to experience the sadness, hurt, anger, and/or frustration than you’re telling yourself that these feelings are okay and don’t need to be suppressed. The reality is that no matter what you’re feeling, you are allowed to experience those emotions and it’s only human! Unfortunately, many people associate lower vibrational emotions as bad, but this is a huge misconception! Telling yourself that anger, sadness, etc. are “bad” implies that you shouldn’t experience these emotions and that you have to get rid of them which is not only wrong, but unhealthy. There is no right or wrong emotions so don’t buy into the belief that you should feel a certain way, simply allow yourself to be and you’ll find that it’s much easier to navigate your emotions and needs. The only way to make it to the other side is by wading through the water, be patient and know that you’re feeling exactly what you should be. When you stop censoring yourself, you’ll discover a newfound sense of freedom and wholeness. 

 If you find yourself circling back to certain topics, for example, your ex-boyfriend than perhaps there are triggers in your environment that remind you of the situation, you have more that needs to be addressed that you may not have been ready for or aware of previously (hence why shadow work is a practice that is ongoing), or they’re representative of a deeper issue that you’re repressing. Whatever the cause is, the same methods as earlier will apply and can be discerned through your own intuition. 

What are some basic journal prompts that I can do?

What feelings come up when you think of ____?

How did that experience make you feel emotionally? How did it make you feel about yourself? How did it make you feel about the other person or people?

Write a letter to yourself, your inner child, the people who’ve hurt you, and the people you’ve hurt. Express how you feel honestly, without holding back and then forgive yourself and the other person.

If you could say anything to yourself or another person for closure, what would it be?

How have these situations and experiences impacted your mental health? How have they affected your belief system about yourself, other people, and the world?

What about yourself are you ashamed of? What about yourself are you embarrassed of? What about yourself makes you angry? What do you regret? Why do you feel this way about yourself and where do these feelings stem from?

What makes you feel most alone? What makes you feel most loved? How can you incorporate that knowledge into your life to make it better?

What’s the most hurtful thing someone has said or done to you? Why did it hurt you so much? How does it still affect you now? How can you heal from it and allow yourself to move on?

What do you need to forgive yourself for? What do you need to forgive others for?

Where do you feel you lack security in your life? Why? How does this impact your life and your relationships?

This is a list of generic prompts for you to start with, but feel free to message me if you need help with more specific topics or I can make another post altogether for journal prompts.

[mochegato]

Even the Losers

Chapter 8

Chapter 1     Chapter 7

“Your father is Bruce Wayne and now he wants to reconnect,” Nino recapped as though anyone involved in the call was unaware. From the look Chloe gave him, he was particularly happy she was in New York not Paris and couldn’t actually smack him upside the head.

“Thank you for that waste of time and breath,” Chloe grumbled.

“I just… don’t see the problem.”  Nino did actually move away from Alya before she could swat him.  “What?  Your dad is Bruce freaking Wayne!  Even if you don’t connect with him, you can totally draw on that Wayne money.”

He wasn’t fast enough to move away from her smack that time.  “Ow!” he pouted at Alya.

“It’s not about the money!” Alya groaned, already exasperated by him.  “It’s about him not wanting to have a relationship until the press found out.  It’s about him cutting her out but taking in a gaggle of other kids.”  Nino lightly shoved Alya’s shoulder and motioned toward Marinette’s expression on the screen.  Alya grimaced and gave him a nod of understanding.

Marinette looked down and pursed her lips to keep from frowning.  It was bad enough thinking it in her own head constantly, but hearing it out loud, repeated back to her?  That made it so much worse.  That made her feelings real.  That legitimized her feelings.  She couldn’t pretend like she was just overreacting.  They were justified.  Which meant she couldn’t just freeze them out.  Or rather she shouldn’t.  She had to face them.

She focused her energy on not changing her body language so she didn’t worry Adrien any more than he was already.  Keeping her body relaxed instead of tensing up.  Adrien had gone into a frenzied panic when he and Max had returned from their apartment search to find her collapsed on the floor, blocking the door. She’d missed the worst of it according to what Tikki said, but she still remembered the terrified look in his eyes when she woke up.  He hadn’t left her side since, keeping constant physical contact.  

Max seemed to inherently understand the situation and was jumping up to get anything either of them might need so they didn’t have to abandon each other for even a few moments.  She was eternally grateful to him for it because she wasn’t sure who the physical proximity was having more of a calming effect on, her or Adrien, but regardless, they both needed it.  

Her attempt to not react didn’t seem to have been as effective as she thought it had been judging by the way Adrien hugged her closer to him.  Marinette lightly bonked her head into his chest and returned her attention to the laptop screen.  “It’s okay, Nino,” Marinette assured him weakly.

“No it isn’t,” Chloe said over her.  “Both of you need to stop talking.”  She flipped a page in her magazine and looked up at the screen.  “I mean, that’s true in general, but especially during this call.” Her eyes were sharp when she looked up but Marinette could see the concern she was trying to hide by focusing on her magazine.  She wasn’t sure what Adrien had told them about how he found her but she could tell it was enough to scare them too.

Marinette rolled her eyes at Chloe.  “Yes, it is.”

Chloe groaned.  “This is the way we work Dupain Cheng.  You and Adrien let people walk all over you, Nino keeps the peace, Alya starts trouble, and I tell people the truth and to back the fuck off when it’s warranted.”

“Which never starts trouble,” Alya snarked.

“I do not let people walk all over me!” Adrien objected, looking around for support. Marinette gave a curt nod of agreement, but Max was avoiding his eyes and Chloe was staring at him flatly.

“No, you don’t let people walk all over us,” she motioned toward the screen, trying to indicate the rest of them.  “But you let everyone walk all over you.”  Her eyes moved slightly and her eyes narrowed slightly.  “You both do.”

Marinette wrinkled her nose at the screen with a pout.  “I stood up to you,” she groused.

Chloe scoffed.  “And it only took you like ten years to do it.  So proud of you.”  She rolled her eyes so strongly, her entire head moved as she did it.

Marinette’s mouth dropped in offense.  “I’m better now.”

“Are you, though?  Really?” Chloe deadpanned.

Marinette pouted.  “Yes!”

“Statistically, she is accurate,” Max added.  “She does stand up for herself more now than when we were younger.”  Marinette pursed her lips at Max, unsure how to respond to his comment.  On one hand, it defended her.  On the other hand, she did not at all appreciate how he stressed the word ‘statistically’ and she was certain everyone else caught that as well.

Chloe opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Nino. Marinette sighed in relief until she started processing his words.  “I get that it’s hard and it hurts, I guess I just thought you wouldn’t take it this hard. After Jagged with Luka and Juleka and your grandfather… you forgave all of them.  You helped Jagged with Luka and Juleka, making sure their relationship didn’t go bad.”  He motioned vaguely at nothing.  “You seemed to brush it off and take it as a challenge.  So why isn’t this?”

Alya dropped her head in her hands.  “Tact, Nino.  God.”

“No, he’s not wrong.”  Marinette frowned as she thought about his words.  “I went after Grand-père and convinced him to reconnect.  Papa never held it against him so I guess I didn’t either. Luka never held it against Jagged, just moved forward.  Maybe it’s just me.  Maybe…”

“No!” Adrien interrupted before she could follow that train of thought any further. He gently turned her toward him to focus her attention on him.  “There’s nothing wrong with you or how you’re reacting.  There’s no wrong way to react to news like this.  If you feel sad, that’s fine.  If you feel annoyed, that’s fine.  If you feel frustrated, that’s okay.  If you want to just move past it, there’s nothing wrong with that.  If you feel angry, that’s okay.  And if you feel like you need space, that’s okay too. There’s no wrong way to react to this,” he repeated.

“Except however Chloe would respond,” Alya added with a smirk.

“Hey!” Chloe objected loudly, glaring at the screen, but with no real heat behind it. “For the record, how I would respond to news like this is to spend all my new found father’s money, pressing my boundaries until he finally said something.  And if he didn’t say anything, I’d use those billions to do whatever the fuck I wanted and never see him in person.”

Marinette blinked at Chloe, as did the rest of the group.  That was certainly… an option.  Not one Marinette would ever choose, but it was…  Marinette started giggling at the idea.  Adrien joined her quickly while Max, Alya, and Nino watched them worriedly.  Chloe rolled her eyes and flipped the page in her magazine, but the corners of her lips quirked up.

“He is correct,” Max added, bringing them back to the original point.  “There are a variety of ways people will react to finding out they have a parent they didn’t know about.  Markov found hundreds of studies on psychological responses to similar news and responses are extremely varied.”

“Juleka had a harder time with accepting it and connecting to Jagged than Luka did, remember?” Adrien pointed out.  “And there’s nothing wrong with her.  She wasn’t wrong to react that way, right?”  Marinette shook her head reluctantly.  It wasn’t that she thought there was anything wrong with the way Juleka reacted, but in agreeing with Adrien’s observation, she would have to agree with his point that she was allowed to freak out about this instead of ignoring it like she wanted to.

“Marinette,” Alya raised her voice to bring attention back to her.  “You can do anything you want here and we’ll support you. You know that.  No matter how this ends we all love you.  No matter how you react, we’ll love you.  Nobody is going to judge you for any decision.”

Chloe scoffed.  She waited until everyone was looking, or in Alya and Adrien’s cases, glaring at her. “What?  You want me to lie to her?”  She looked incredulously at the other faces on the video call.  “We won’t judge.  Hell, I’m willing to scratch his eyes out in public for you.  But, your name was already getting out there and his name, now yours, is on the largest corporation in the world.  Every news and gossip organization is going to be talking about it forever if you guys don’t make a good show of it.”

“So?” Alya demanded incredulously.  “She should just do whatever is best for publicity?”

“Did I say that?” Chloe scoffed.  She finally put her magazine down to show how serious she was taking the conversation. “When have I ever let the threat of bad publicity stop me from doing something?  I just said it would be out there, not that she should care.  It’s a factor, a big one when she’s figuring out what she wants.”

“What do you want?” Adrien asked gently, turning his attention back to Marinette.

Marinette looked at Adrien for a few seconds while her brain whirred at high speed thinking through all the options.  What did she want?  None of this. That’s what she wanted.  After a few seconds she took a breath and let it out. “What I want is to not have to deal with any of this.  What I want is to not be his daughter.  What I want is to figure out where we want to live and work and start a company there like we planned.  What I want is to live a normal life now.”  She ignored Chloe’s scoff.  “What I want…” she sighed and looked away.  “What I want doesn’t matter.”

Chloe huffed almost loudly enough for it to echo.  “Of course it matters, it just doesn’t change the past or the current situation.  But, you control your next steps.  So Ladybug this bitch.  Some egomaniacal, rich, pampered megalomaniac has created an utterly ridiculous problem that you now have to fix.  This is your specialty.  Show this bastard who he walked out on.  Make him regret not dying with his parents.”

“Woah! What the Hell?” Nino exclaimed. “Too far.”

Chloe scoffed and looked back at her nails.  “If you think that was too far, you should have heard what I wanted to say.  I toned it way down for your sensitive ears,” she added condescendingly.  She just barely looked up when Marinette started giggling.  Chloe’s lips quirked up the more Marinette tried to stifle the slightly unhinged sounding giggles.

“Dude, that’s her grandparents…” Nino whisper shouted.  Marinette suddenly sobered and paled in realization.

“Or!” Adrien interjected with false excitement positioning himself between Marinette and the screen.  “Or, you could, you know, try to build a relationship with him.”  He looked decidedly away from the incredulous looks from Alya and Chloe and the doubtful look from Nino on screen, trying to pretend like they weren’t judging him.  He moved closer to Marinette and took her hands in his giving her a sincere, serious look.  “You have someone, your father, who wants to connect to you.”  

He ignored the loud scoff from the computer and continued as though Alya or Chloe, or both, hadn’t verbalized their opinion.  They clearly weren’t that opposed or they would have said it instead of making a noise.  He “accidentally” closed the video chat and gave Max a pointed look.  

Max nodded slowly.  “I’m just going to go to my room for a few minutes.  Let me know if you want to talk.”

Marinette and Adrien both shot him thankful smiles.  Adrien waited until his door was closed before looking back at Marinette with a concerned look.  “You got screwed in this deal.  Nobody can deny that, and however you feel, that’s real and valid.  It’s okay to be hurt.  It’s okay to be scared.  It’s okay to say this is too much for you right now, or ever.  But, do you really want to walk away?  Not connect to him?  Not try?”

“He didn’t want…” Marinette started weakly.

“Maybe he wasn’t ready,” he cut her off before she could spiral again.  “Maybe this is the universe’s way to saying it’s time. You got the embodiment of luck in your pocket.  Is it really so farfetched to think luck played a role?”

“Bad luck,” Marinette scoffed to the floor.  Adrien gently rapped her on the top of her head with his knuckle.  She looked back up and caught his unimpressed look. Marinette sighed and looked away before looking back up at him uncertainly.  “I don’t know…”

“Do you think you want to try?” Tikki asked floating out of her resting spot. “It’s your choice.  But I don’t think this is going away, so whichever decision you go with you’ll have to face the consequences.”

“Or I could just cataclysm him,” Plagg offered rubbing his paws together.  He darted away from Tikki before she could shut him up.

“No!” Marinette and Adrien chorused at the same time.

Adrien glared at Plagg but made sure to soften his eyes before looking back at Marinette.  “Okay, maybe things don’t work out with him.  But it sounds like you have siblings.  You already like Jason.  Maybe you’ll like them too.”  He gave her a small smile and rubbed her arms soothingly.  “You always wanted siblings.”

Marinette gave him a weak smile back.  “I don’t need siblings anymore.  I have you.  That’s more than enough.  I don’t think I could handle more of yous.”

Adrien scoffed good naturedly at her.  “If anything I’ve made having siblings more appealing.”

Marinette scoffed playfully.  “Keep telling yourself that,” she muttered.

He pulled her into a hug.  “You always wanted more.  And it sounds like you might have sisters.”

“More people he adopted after walking away,” Marinette groused into his shirt.

Adrien hugged her tighter.  “Maybe he had a reason?  Or maybe he just royally messed up.  Maybe he hates himself for the decision.  It’s something you won’t find out unless you stay.  And you can just talk once and see how you feel about it. If it doesn’t go well, you can walk away and we can find that bar Roy mentioned.  If it goes well, you can decide to stay or we can decide to move to New York or Metropolis, like we were thinking and you can still see him every so often.”

“Even if it doesn’t go perfectly,” Tikki added softly, “it’ll give you closure.  You deserve to have that.”

“And you’ll wonder what could have happened if you don’t,” Adrien nudged her gently.  “You know you’re going to regret not trying.”

“So is that an absolute no on the cataclysm idea,” Plagg popped up between them.  “Because I’m still willing.”

Marinette rolled her eyes at him but shot him a grateful smile.  It was as close as Plagg got to admitting he cared.  She scratched him on the forehead and looked back to Adrien with a frown.  “I don’t think I can handle this.”

“I’ll stay with you.  And Max will be here.  Tikki will be here for you.  Plagg will be here, but don’t let that deter you…”

“Hey!” Plagg pouted.

Adrien continued without acknowledging him.  “Chloe could be here in a few hours if we needed and she’d drop everything to get here, no matter what she says.  Alya and Nino will only be a phone call away.  We will support you no matter what you want to do. But we can’t make this decision for you, so, the question is what do you want to do?”

Marinette groaned and pouted at him.  “You sure you can’t do this for me?”

Adrien gave her a sympathetic look and shook his head. “Not this time, Bug.”  He waited a few minutes for her to think through her options.  When she looked just as lost after another few minutes after that, he spoke up gently. “Do you want to talk to Sabine and Tom first?  They might have some answers you need to make your decision.”

Marinette looked back up at him with a pathetic looking pout.  “Can’t I just sleep through this instead?”

Adrien chuckled and shook his head, relieved she was now in a light enough mood to make jokes.  “You could,” he nodded and put on a mock serious face, “but your problems will still be there when you woke up.”

“What bullshit,” she scoffed in a weak voice.

Adrien nodded.  “Yep, utter bullshit.”

Marinette kept eye contact with him for a few moments waiting for him to impart some kind of insightful wisdom upon her.  When he held silent and let her make her own decision, she whimpered and looked away.  “What if it isn’t him I cataclysm,” Plagg asked, flying between them.  “I could do it to his house instead… a few of his cars?  Rich people always have too many cars.”

Adrien grabbed him out of the air and shoved him in his pocket with an exasperated groan.  But Marinette giggled again.  When her laughter had settled, she took a deep breath and motioned toward her phone. Adrien smiled at her as he placed it in her hand.  She took a deep breath and pulled out the paper M. Wayne had given her.  She dialed one of the numbers before she could talk herself out of it, which knowing herself could happen if she was given more than a few seconds to think, and looked up to Adrien, letting his soft smile ground her.  “M. Wayne? It’s Marinette.  Would you be free for dinner tonight?”

Chapter 9

Tags:

@maribat-bdbwm @jayjayspixiepop @redscarlet95 @alice-hazelwood @deathssilentapproach-blog @unoriginalmess @alyssadeliv @emotionalsupportginger @frieddonutsweets @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @toodaloo-kangaroo @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @iloontjeboontje @wolf-for-life @maribatserver @aespades @prettylittlebutterflie @imarivers8  @ certainmuffinbagelcalzone@ritacrow-blog @unoriginalmess @demonicbusiness @kking13 @lady-bee-fechin @blur-of-colours @kittenmywaythrulife @kashlyn @loysydark 

[justsomeoneunordinary]

Man, this post really blew up, huh. Never expected that to happen but ok. I’ve already had a discussion about the original question with someone else where we came to a conclusion. At least somewhat. If you wanna look at it, just go through the reblogs. Anyway, putting my response under a cut because the post is already too long.

I agree with you on some points but also strongly disagree with others. As much as it pains me, I agree that Hashirama and Tobirama do not seem to understand each other. I wish it were different, but from the little bit canon gave us, they’re not only both very opposing individuals but also aren’t on the same wavelength. Except that they both wish for peace and love Konoha. They just have different ideas of how to maintain that peace.

Hashirama and Madara, on the other hand, are very similar individuals who share the same goals and values, and that’s part of why Hashirama reacts so strongly at the prospect of Tobirama killing Madara. He and Madara are on the same page in most aspects, whereas he and Tobirama are not, which of course, causes friction between them.

And I absolutely do think that Hashirama was a bit too harsh in his reaction when he told Tobirama to back off, but I also think we need to take into consideration that this was something rather personal to him.

However, I disagree that Hashirama treats Tobirama unfairly. Tobirama is my blorbo and I love his dumb ass dearly, but pretending he never did anything wrong won’t get us anywhere. Tobirama is a prejudiced and paranoid little shit and those are the times Hashirama calls him out on—rightfully.

Vice versa, when Tobirama butts Hashirama off on just giving the Hokage seat over to Madara and tells him to let the village vote, Hashirama listens. When Hashirama wants to give the bijuu away for free, Tobirama cuts in and Hashirama lets him. But when Tobirama treats the Uchiha unfairly yet again, that’s when Hashirama steps in. They balance each other out that way, so making Tobirama the victim of Hashirama’s “unfair” treatment is simply wrong, sorry.

I also don’t fully agree that Hashirama wears only rose-tinted glasses. He’s a dreamer and idealist, for sure, but was he ever wrong? He knew peace could be achievable, and he did achieve it. He knew peace wouldn’t be true peace if he had killed Madara that day at the last confrontation, pointed rightfully out that there surely still must be people in the Uchiha clan to take offense in the death of their clan head, and he was more than right with this. Hashirama is just a very goal-oriented person to the point of ruthlessness, and his goals just happen to be much larger than most people’s, which is why others—like Tobirama—don’t understand him and have difficulties keeping up. That doesn’t make him blind to reality tho, otherwise the village never would’ve happened.

I do agree tho that Hashirama himself doesn’t seem to know how far he’d go for peace either, judging by the way the confrontation with Madara at the Valley of the End went. “And all of the sudden Tobirama is seeing his war-mongering father in his Peace-mongering brother and doesn’t know what to do.” <- That’s a similar conclusion I came to as well, yes.

In the end, what also needs to be taken into consideration if I want an answer to my original question, is that if Tobirama had ignored Hashirama’s orders, he would’ve ignored the orders of his clan head and thus proven that Hashirama cannot trust him, not only as his brother but also as his second in command. Tobirama would’ve been very much at fault there also. I cannot tell if Hashirama had ended up killing Tobirama in his shock and rage, or if it had ended in a cold relationship between them with no trust, tho I lean more toward the latter, but either way, we shouldn’t forget that each one of them is a very human person with positives and flaws and complex personalities which Kishi didn’t devote enough time to for us to get a full picture, so that a lot is left up to interpretation at the end of the day.

See, I don’t usually like to think that Hashirama would’ve killed Tobirama if Madara hadn’t given the choice between Tobirama and Hashirama, because those kinds of thoughts usually only come from the anti Hashirama side of the fandom which I could not agree less with if I tried.

But.

The fact remains that Hashirama at some point went from “I will protect my last brother at any cost” to “I will kill anyone who threatens Konoha, even if it were my brother or even my own children” and it’s never fucking shown when that change exactly happened.

Was it when he reached adulthood and he realized for himself that the bigger picture—in his case, peace—matters more than anything else? Was it after Konoha was built and he became Hokage and his responsibilities grew? Was it after Madara left and his heart grew cold?

I imagine it must’ve been a mixture of being Hokage and therefore having more people to protect besides his direct family, and Madara’s betrayal that must’ve struck him pretty badly that he let his heart grow so cold to the point he’d rather kill his best friend/brother/child if they in any way threatened the village resp. peace as a whole than attempting to talk with them first.

But the question remains: What would have Hashirama done if Madara had demanded Tobirama’s life with no other option? I don’t like to imagine that he actually would’ve killed Tobirama, but as much as I devour fics in which Hashirama goes absolutely batshit after his brother dies with relish, canonically speaking, peace would always be Hashirama’s biggest goal. And it’s driving me utterly nuts that I cannot for the life of me say how Hashirama would’ve reacted in this scenario.

Anyway, Idk where I was going with this, I just had to think once again about this and what a fascinating character Hashirama actually is and how little we know about him at the end of the day…

[blackberry-gingham]

can I get headcaonons of the beatles reacting to their gf, a singer in another band, being told by the producer that she sounds better on coke?

Hmmmm this is a touch out of my comfort zone tbh, but at the same time, having my faves stand up for reader against bullies/abusers is everything to me, soooooo

I'll do this one! :) But obvious trigger warnings for references to drug use/abuse

George

First things first, George would do everything he could to comfort you

It's scary to have your whole livelyhood threatened like that, especially when your freedom of choice is so harshly taken away

While it's not particularly something they brag about, he and the boys use anything for recreational purposes, certainly not because someone makes them

He's cool on the surface, but inside he's boiling to hear you're being treated like this, particularly considering you don't really want to be using anything in the first place

George tries to use his influence to his advantage and lobby (read: force) your producer to leave you be

If that doesn't work, he strongly invites you to come join him and the lads or to start a new band under a different producer

You have more then enough talent to pull it off after all!

The bottom line is: you don't have to do anything you don't want to, he just wants you to know you deserve that right

John

There are few people in this world who can achieve the particular type of "scary when mad" that John does

It's the kind that's quiet but snarling when speaking, one where even his subtle movements make one flinch

It takes just about all of his strength to conceal the vast breadth, depth, and heat of his anger as you tell him your situation

I fully believe John would make an in person appearance to whomever is in charge at your studio and uncork the afore mentioned anger in their direction

If you did ever happen come back to that studio in the following days...

Enough things have been broken and overturned that it'll take a good bit before the area is in working condition again

And if by some miracle being confronted by an enraged John Lennon, in addition to the legal action he most certainly would've threatened, isn't enough to sway your producer

John would doggedly insist that you ditch your current producer and maybe sign on with them

He has always been the protective sort, even with something of a jelous streak, and it would be dishonest to say it doesn't irk him a little to have to be so far away from you

Of course he's proud of you and respects your independence, he'd never want you to doubt it

But... The times he's daydreamed about singing on stage, side by side with his one and only girl is too numerous to count

Paul

The second Paul here's about your situation, he immediately assures you that he'll take care of everything

He knows how much you hate using and it kills him to see you slowly wasting the more and more you do

The truth is, he's suspected there was a problem for a while, he's just been waiting for the right time to talk about it

Paul would settle things fair and square without a show of force, but make no mistake, he will be getting what he's after

If your production company is small enough, he simply buys them out and hands the reigns over to you

If they're in a position that not even he and his Beatle money can touch them...

He buys out your contract and makes sure to free up an opportunity for you under their producer or with the Beatles themselves

Money really doesn't mean much to him, particularly when it comes to you, and anyway this would be far quicker then lawyers and a lawsuit

He would also be more then happy to pay for your rehab if you need it

He'll do whatever it takes to make you comfortable in your own life again

Ringo

Ringo is so floored by this revelation that he honestly doesn't know what to do

He's seen some pretty terrible things in his life, sure, but hardly anything as vile as coerced drug use and abuse

Truth be told, he's so overwhelmed with feelings, that's likely the source more then anything of his inability to come up with a solution

He's so upset and outraged and flat out shocked, that it's hard to think straight

He wishes he could go up and intimate these people, cause a whole frightening scene like John can

He also wishes he had enough know how and pull and to use his financial and celebrity status to dismiss the whole issues like Paul

Hell, he'd even settle for an even mix of those two, like George has

It's times like these that he just feels like the happy, dumb one in the group

However, that's far from the case

A true intellectual know when the odds are against him and when to seek out assistance, just as you have

And that's exactly what he does

With your permission of course, Ringo gets all the lads in the loop, even eppy

Together, they're able to drum up enough attention to shine a harsh light on the malpractices of your old producer and the whole brand is shut down and those shoes deserve it are locked away soon enough

After your story has reached so many ears, you essentially are given your choice of producers and record brands after your old place before down

Ringo just wants you to be happy, but...

He'd certainly love it if you joined up with him and the rest

[dont-you-dare-imagine]

it’s pride month so could you do like a “dudes of ml” thing where they react to their s/o coming out as bi/pan/etc?

how the miraculous ladybug dudes would react to their s/o coming out

summary: basically just the title! (pronouns aren’t used for the reader but there are some points i made that might make it seem like a female reader. but most of it i would say could be considered gender neutral.)

words: 690

warnings: coming out? none of them are bad endings though! everyone ends up being supportive in the end!

a/n: so, since there are so many sexualities and i didn’t wanna exclude anyone, where bi or pan or omni or whatever would be, i just put a blank.

-𝕒𝕕𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟-

he would be so confused

i feel like his father is VERY homophobic so he has never even told adrien that you can be anything but straight

so he asks a lot of questions

after he feels he has a pretty good understanding, he’d think it was so awesome!!

he would think it was so cool and just be so interested in learning more about the community

also 100% would go to pride with you if you wanted to

he would be that one person to see something rainbow and buy it for you because aha, gay. rainbow.

but he’d be so happy about it that it wouldn’t even annoy you

-𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕠-

i feel like if it were me, i’d be nervous to come out to nino just because i feel like he speaks his mind. like, he’s very blunt and honest. so i’d be worried that if he didn’t support me he’d be very like “EWWWW, WHAT BRO??? YOU’RE _____???”

but i feel like in the end he would definitely support you!

i feel like he’d be confused too, but not as confused as adrien. like, he knew the term gay. that is it

he too would ask a lot of questions

i feel like he has a very short attention span though so they’d be a lot of the SAME questions

“wait, so you’re ___?”

“yes nino.”

“right....and what does that mean again?”

-𝕚𝕧𝕒𝕟-

he would be so supportive oh my god-

he wouldn’t make it a big deal as soon as you told him. he’d be like

“i’m so glad you told me! that’s so cool. i love you so much and it doesn’t matter to me who you’re attracted to.”

something like that

oh my gosh i can see him and his s/o watching a movie and they both start simping for the same girl or something and they get into the biggest play argument ever and it just leads to this whole war thing everytime you watch the movie. and everyone thinks it’s so funny.

-𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕖𝕝-

personally, i strongly believe that he is also a part of the community, and is already out to you, so it’s like such a casual thing. i feel like it’d be something like this:

“guess what.”

“what?”

“i’m ___”

“that’s cool. good job honey.”

and i feel like maybe you’re at school and you’re out to your closer friends and you’re just like “yeahhh haha gayyy” and nathaniel is just like “bruh stop telling people you’re just gay we’re literally dating-“

-𝕜𝕚𝕞-

he would think you were joking at first and then start joking about it too

“hahah right i so believe you.”

“bruh what you are not gay-“

“wait you’re being serious? oh my god i’m so sorry i seriously thought you were kidding.”

he would feel so bad and would not stop apologizing as soon as he realized you weren’t kidding.

you were never really mad at him, cause you knew he didn’t mean it to be mean. he just sometimes doesn’t understand that it’s not the time to joke around.

after he finally realizes that you’ve forgiven him and he can stop apologizing, he’d make sure to remind you like, by the hour how proud of you he is and how awesome you are for just being yourself.

-𝕞𝕒𝕩-

personally i think he is very gay but we’re gonna pretend that he’s dating someone who isn’t a male. otherwise it’d be like “bruh i know you’re gay we’re literally dating-“

but if he were dating someone who wasn’t male and they came out to him, he’d be just so happy you trusted him enough to tell him and he’d be so proud of you.

“really?! that’s so amazing! i’m so happy you told me!!!”

you know that guy on tiktok who does those “gay news” tiktoks? that would be max. he is your source of gay news.