#because he went dormant due to his addiction

[pameluke]

seven sentence sunday (I don't have a banner or a taglist, but here's seven lines)

Carlos is making the bed when he first notices it. A barely there scent on the sheets.

Like everything in the loft, the bed smells overwhelmingly like Carlos, like home and nest and safety. Before he met TK, he had these fantasies about how his scent would mix with someone else's someday. How he'd wear them proudly on his skin. How his home would smell like well-loved omega.

TK is definitely well-loved, Carlos makes sure of that every day, but for all intents and purposes he's a beta, and Carlos has adapted his expectations accordingly.

The sheets smell like someone though. Not like sex or sweat or sleep; all scents Carlos is intimately familiar with, scents he has inhaled and tasted and rolled around in when his hormones ride him and his instincts crave olfactory feedback.

Carlos buries his nose in the sheets and breathes in deeply. It's still barely there, but it's sweet and lovely.

Every fiber in Carlos's body reacts to it.

This is TK.

[builtbybrokenbells]

Melodic Memories | Track 6: Ain’t No Sunshine - Bill Withers

In a tattered old box shoved deep down in the corner of an overfilled closet, a lifetimes worth of memories lie dormant at the bottom waiting to be rediscovered.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: sexting?, explicit photographs, making out, angst, crying, heartbreak, high school breakups, breakups, estranged parent/strained parental relationship, depression, high school drama, anxiety, mentions of drinking, drinking, mentions of hookups/one night stands, unrequited love, PTSD mentions/explanations of reactions and behaviours due to PTSD, mentions of addiction/drugs, smoking, swearing, fluff, sorry if i miss any!

Sorry for the wait, but thank you for being patient with me! I love you guys to no end!! As always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻

Also a special shout-out to @gretavangroupie and @gretavanmoon for always keeping me on track, putting up with my craziness, and for the unwavering support and encouragement 🤍 melodic memories wouldn’t be what it is without you 😌

Her POV

“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone

It’s not warm when she’s away

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone

And she’s always gone too long

Anytime she goes away”

Your phone chiming beside your laptop broke your attention from the endless list of Indeed applications you had half finished. You landed back in your chair, careful not to disturb Ozz, who was sound asleep on your thighs without a care in the world. You tapped the screen, hoping it would be a breath of hope for a job offer by a principal who was also plagued with insomnia, but instead realized it was a breath of hope for a much different reason. Jake’s contact name sat below the clock on your Lock Screen, letting you know that after everything, he still didn’t have the heart to hate you.

For some odd reason, you almost wished he did.

Hurting him was something you never wanted to do, but since meeting him, it was all you could do. Despite breaking his heart all over again, he never gave up hope on being friends, even if the label was bullshit and completely unfulfilling.

Being friends with him was hard, mostly because you didn’t want to be, and because you didn’t know how to be. Loving him was a constant state, and putting that to the side proved to be a daunting task despite you being the one to suggest it. Since the day you met him, you were head over heels, and even in his years of absence, it never went away. Being cordial without crossing lines and being friendly without any hidden agenda was difficult, but because you had promised him, you were committed to trying.

Since your talk with Mel the day prior, you felt better about your feelings, but still not certain. There was so much up in the air, still so many things that would not resolve without time, but you had taken it upon yourself to respond to his messages and keep up the friendly communication. It hurt, but it felt better than whatever the hell the previous few days had been. You were sober, still sad, but trying your best to make life as normal as possible despite the burgeoning sorrow that was begging to take over again. It was easier when you were burying yourself in the task of finding work, but that seemed to be the only distraction.

When it came down to it, your current state could only be blamed on your own stubbornness and stupidity.

You clicked on the notification, your Face ID immediately bringing you to the text chain. You scanned the message, seeing no words or greetings, but instead a link to Spotify. With furrowed brows, you clicked on it and waited for the app to load. Once it did, you wished you had ignored it completely. The familiar album cover sent a wave of tears rushing down your cheeks, without warning and without any hesitation. It seemed like a common theme as of recent.

Ain’t No Sunshine - Bill Withers

For a little extra salt in the wound, you pressed play and let the slow melody fill your ears. You closed your eyes for a moment, letting the brief moment of pain be felt instead of pushing it down and letting it fester.

Another text popped up on the screen, force of habit making you click on it as soon as it appeared. When it brought you back to Jake’s thread, you noticed an image attatched below the song. You recognized the sight immediately, briefly considering blocking him and changing your name so you never had to feel this way again.

Still, you knew that running away would not rid you of the curse of loving a Kiszka. You tried it once before, and it left you in the exact same situation you ran away from.

For someone who said he would try his best to be just friends, him sending you pictures of him in his childhood bedroom and a link to a song that was an explicit telling of his heart was not very friend-like.

At the same time, you crying over said instances was also very far from friendly.

After only a few troublesome days, it seemed apparent that friends was never in the cards for the two of you.

You looked back at the bed, finding Mel sleeping soundly under the covers, unbeknownst to your troubles just a few feet away. If she were awake, you wondered what she would say. Would she push you to respond, to tell him that the world seemed bleak and lonely without him, too? Without even debating it, you already knew the answer.

Of course she would. It was an incredibly stupid thing to ask.

In fact, she would probably tell you exactly that, or she would be a little more coarse and unapologetic about it. So you drafted up a response with the ghost of Mel’s advice in the back of your mind. If he could be open and honest, so could you. Your fingers trembled as you typed your answer, stopping every now and then to gather your thoughts before continuing on. Eventually, you let out a breath of relief, hitting send on the text and watching as the blue line slid across the screen until it delivered.

You

Guess I’m not the only one having a hard time with friends.

Almost instantly, three dots popped up encased in a grey bubble, signifying he was already typing a response for you.

Jake ❤️

We’re in this together, just like always.

You felt your heart drop to your stomach, sickened by the idea of you both suffering over the same thing when the solution was right in front of you. Together always, no matter if it was mutual happiness or to share sorrows.

Jake ❤️

What are you doing up so late, sunshine?

You

Damn job applications. Still no calls :(

Jake ❤️

They’re crazy for not calling you back. I know you’d be the best teacher at ANY school.

You

You think too highly of me 😅

Jake ❤️

Think you don’t give yourself enough credit.

You

What are YOU doing up so late? Sending such risqué texts at that.

Jake ❤️

At mom and dad’s house… had too much wine. Just waiting for Sam to shut up so he can drive us back to the hotel.

You

So I have a drunkard on my hands.

Jake ❤️

I wish I was in your hands, but we’re friends now so I guess that’s off the table.

Your cheeks turned red, your stomach twisting with knots at the simple thought of touching him again. Of course you’d rather be there, drinking wine and retelling childhood stories while sat on the couch, maybe even with his hand on your knee as you leaned into his side. You wanted it all, but only ever with him, and it was torture to pretend you didn’t. He made it so hard to keep your morals in check, and the longer you talked to him the less you seemed to care about the reasons why you left. Maybe you ignoring him had little to do with your own sadness and everything to do with his ability to change your mind about things.

You wanted him—you needed him. To feel his arms around you, to hear the sweet melodies of his voice, to feel the love radiating from him straight into you. You were sick of the self-inflicted punishments, tired of holding back. You missed him, and you couldn’t bear to feel it any longer, especially when he was so close to you.

Jake ❤️

Sorry, sunshine. I’m trying my best.

You

Don’t apologize.

With that, you gave in to the temptation and closed your laptop. You carefully placed Ozz on the bed, so gently that he didn’t even stir from his sleep. As you clicked on his contact and dialled his number, you snuck out of your bedroom and let the door fall shut behind you. The dial tone didn’t even have a chance to ring once before he picked up, his raspy tone filling your ears and easing the ache in your chest that had been bothering you for days.

“Do friends call each other at one in the morning?” He teased, the slight slur in his tone telling you he certainly did indulge in too much wine.

“You want me to hang up?” You shot back, bluffing of course, but warning him nonetheless.

“Not at all.” He responded without missing a beat. “Job hunt too boring? Needed some excitement?”

“Something like that.” You hummed, pacing the hallway outside of your bedroom. You had no idea why you were so nervous, especially considering you’d been in this position a million times before. For some reason, it felt different now, more real and much more terrifying. You let out a sigh, deciding to rip off the bandaid and get straight to the point. “You still have that pack of Newports?”

“Just smoked one.” He confirmed. “Why?”

“I have a bottle of strawberry wine. The cheap stuff, like I used to drink when we were kids.” You swallowed hard, wondering if he understood your intent. He was silent, the static crackling over the line the only inkling he was still there. After a moment, he cleared his throat, and you could only imagine his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he tried to swallow back his nerves.

“Does that mean what I think it does?”

“Let Sam talk, Jake.” You confirmed. “I’ll take you home later.”

“Are you sure, sunshine? This isn’t very friend-like… ‘least it wasn’t way back then.”

“Shove it with the friend thing. It was a really stupid thing to say. I need you Jake, no matter what fucking label we put on it.” You rushed out, knowing you were only breaking your own rules because you were overtired and sad. Still, the only place you wanted to be was in his arms, and nothing would take that feeling away. “Are you in or out?”

“In. Always.” He assured you.

“I’ll meet you halfway.” You couldn’t measure the amount of relief you felt.

“See you in ten.” He promised. Without another word, he ended the call, leaving you staring at your lock screen with uncertainty bubbling in the pit of your stomach.

Instead of dwelling, you snuck back in your room to grab a hoodie. You slipped it over your head as you walked downstairs, grabbing your keys from the kitchen table as you slipped on your shoes. You locked the door behind you, carefully trodding down the porch steps and into the night. The air was cool, the grasshoppers and crickets working together to make an ambient atmosphere in your front yard. You cut through the lawn, feeling the dew of the grass stick to your ankles as you checked for headlights on the road.

You started at a slow pace down your street, your heart racing as the moonlight illuminated the way. Street lamps were few and far between, casting yellow hues over the horizon as you approached your first turn. Keeping on the sidewalk, you marched down the side street and noticed that nobody was waiting for you at the end. Your stomach sank, wondering if maybe he had enough of your ridiculous mood swings and decided not to come at all. You tried not to get in your own head too much as you neared the four way intersection, hearing nothing but distant cars on the highway.

You tapped your foot against the pavement as you stood in the middle, never letting your eyes leave the road that led to his house. After a few more minutes of nothing, your disappointment was growing stronger by the second. You tried to tell yourself that Jake would never leave you hanging, not with your hopes up and your heart splayed on your sleeve. At the same time, you knew if he did, you would be nothing other than deserving of it. You took his love and his kindness for granted, hurting him more than you cared to admit even if it was for his own sake, and if he thought it was justifiable to leave you looking like an idiot, you would have to agree.

Then, your whirlwind of thoughts came to a halt. A shadow appeared under a streetlight, giving you a glimpse of hope back. Seconds later, you could see the outline of a body in the near distance. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his jeans, his long hair hanging down over his shoulders, and the cutoff t-shirt he was wearing hung loosely from his torso.

It was Jake.

Your Jake—the very same as he was six years ago when he used to meet you in that exact spot.

Knowing that made you feel at ease, calm despite the constant storm of emotions trying to ruin your life. It felt right, walking to meet him under the moonlight, seeing his silhouette under the street lamps. Things were so different, but eerily similar to those memories you cherished most. Without hesitation, you started to walk towards him, your feet carrying you forward despite your brain telling you not to. Your pace sped the closer you got to him, and before you knew it, you were running towards him in hopes he would greet you with the same enthusiasm.

“Sunshine!” Jake laughed, tumbling backwards as you collided into him and engulfed him in a hug. His arms wrapped around you as your head settled on his chest, and as if it were a natural response, he lifted you off your feet and spun you around.

You wondered, after so much heartbreak, how could things still feel so perfect?

“What’s gotten into you?” He asked, carefully placing you back on the ground and pulling away. His warm eyes scanned your face, noticing the shine of tears still lingering and your red nose. “Hey,” his lips dipped into a frown, only making the ache in your chest worsen.

“I’m just… I’m sorry. About everything. The last four days have been awful, and I just… I didn’t want to leave it like that, I guess. You deserve more.”

“Nothing a little rooftop conversation can’t fix, right? Always seemed to work before.” At that, a small smile turned your lips. You sniffled back any remaining sadness, giving him a curt nod to show him you agreed wholeheartedly.

The walk back to your house was relatively peaceful, and he had tested his luck and intertwined his fingers with your own for the short distance. You didn’t have the heart or the desire to turn him away, so you allowed yourself to enjoy the moment while you still could. Inside, you grabbed a few blankets and the last bottle of wine stored in the refrigerator. Then, like it was only yesterday, the two of you trekked into the spare bedroom and you watched as he popped out the screen on the window. Carefully, he climbed out first, grabbing the items from your hands so you could do the same.

When your feet were firmly planted on the rickety tin of the roof, he laid the blanket down and motioned for you to take a seat. Once you did, he sat behind you, his legs settling on either side of your own as he wrapped his arms around your torso. You leaned into the touch, resting your back against his chest as you looked up at the stars twinkling in the sky. For a single moment, you were seventeen again—the smell of Newports stuck to his clothes and the warmth of his body made you believe that no worldly trouble could touch you. You were seventeen, happy and carefree, long before heartbreak ever touched you and the end was even in sight.

But, no good thing could last forever, and the two of you were far too good to last for more than a small glimpse of time.

“Talk to me, sunshine.” He broke the silence, his voice quiet as he watched the same stars you’d focused your attention on.

“Been a long time since we came up here together.” You whispered, tracing small hearts into the back of his hand with your index finger. “I never came up here again after we… I couldn’t. Didn’t feel right.” He didn’t respond to your confessions. Instead, you felt his chin rest on the very top of your head, the pressure light and the position only so he could try and be closer to you. “Why’d you send me that song?”

“You know why.” You did, but you wanted to hear from him. “It’s you, Sunshine. It always has been, and it always will be. Every time I step foot in that house, you’re the only thing I can see. In my bed, laying on the couch in the basement, on a blanket in the backyard, bothering Sam in the doorway of his bedroom. It’s you. Even if you call us friends, that will never change.”

You reached for the bottle of wine, cracking the cap and taking a small sip. You decided it would be needed for such a heavy conversation, and you could keep him here for long enough to sober up and drive him home. As the liquid travelled down your throat, you were plagued with the thought that the sweetness couldn’t even compare to the kind in which came from his words. Even so, you continued to swallow it down in hopes it would wash away the taste of those from your tongue.

“Are you mad?” You asked, looking down at the point your hand met with his. His silence struck you harder than you thought it would, but you couldn’t blame him if he was.

“Not mad.” He replied, taking his time to collect his thoughts on the matter. “Frustrated, but not mad. Think I was at first, but Josh and Sam put things into perspective for me.”

“Mel helped me with that, too.” You hummed, taking another swig from the chilled bottle.

“Why do you think this is the only way?” He blurted the question out, the liquor getting the best of him and furthering his curiosity. He needed answers, but he was unsure if the ones you provided would help. Before you responded, you offered the bottle to him in hopes it would make it easier for him too.

“Because I don’t want to hurt you.” Your voice was so quiet that he could barely hear it over the ambient noise of the night. “Feel like that’s all I ever do, anyway.” He wanted to argue, to tell you how wrong it was and list every good thing you had ever brought to his life, but he didn’t. Instead, he settled on one simple statement he prayed would get his point across clearly.

“If all you did was hurt me, do you really think I’d still be here?” You swallowed the fact with struggle, feeling the truth get stuck in your throat as it began to choke you. Your eyes watered and your lungs burned because for a moment, you forgot how to breathe, and you hated yourself for pushing a narrative on him and forcing him to take it. “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

Silence became the two of you again, neither one of you willing to rock the boat any further as you digested the answers to your questions. You listened to the dull thud of his heart against his chest, feeling it on your skull if you focused for long enough. You wondered, if he was a separate being and the two of you were your own entities, why did it feel like your heart existed alongside his own, beating in the same rhythm to make the same song, against the flesh and bone that made him? Your own chest felt empty, hollow and barren. It ached with a fervor and the nothingness seemed to taunt you when he wasn’t near. Now, in his arms, you could feel the beat of your own heart after days of missing it.

“Talk to me.” He repeated his earlier statement, his free hand reaching up to brush the locks of hair from your face. His fingers ran through the knotted strands, eventually reaching the end where he twisted them around his index finger. The small action was so akin to his love, the gentleness and the care that went into it telling of all he felt for you. “You called first. You asked me to come over. Something’s bothering you.”

He was right, but it was not some trivial thing or instance that plagued your thoughts. It was everything; the entire world as a whole, your life being so different than the one you envisioned. How could you explain what your troubles were when trouble was the only thing you knew?

Well, that, and love by his hand.

When considering the latter, the world didn’t seem so bleak after all.

“I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going.” You stated, blunt enough to make you regret it. You wished talking about your feelings was easier, that communication could come naturally rather than all or nothing.

“So you’ve said.” He let out a low chuckle, the warm skin of his hand drifting across your cool cheek reminding you that you were alive and awake, rather than stuck in a twisted dream.

“I dunno… guess that I always had this plan. Since I was little, even before my dad left, I knew where this life would take me and how I wanted it to go, how I would handle it. The older I get, the more I realize I never had it figured out, and it’s really bothering me. Way more than I thought it would.”

“Oh, sunshine.” Jake hummed, soft and sweet as the pad of his thumb drifted across your skin. You could hear the smile in his voice, but you weren’t sure why. Either way, it felt good to know it was there, even if your misery clouded every other aspect of your life. “None of us ever had it figured out, even if we thought so. Nobody does, even now. That’s the beauty of life, is it not?”

“God, you sound like Josh.” You scoffed, the corners of your lips turned upwards into a smirk. “When did that happen?”

“Yeah, maybe that was a bit much.” He agreed, his shoulders shaking with a laugh. “Spend a lot of time with him on the road. Kinda hard not to pick up some habits from him.”

“Where’s Jake? I want his answer, not the philosophical shit you pulled from one of Josh’s guides to enlightenment.” You teased, craning your head backwards to catch a glimpse of his face. As you did, you almost wished you didn’t, finding it incredibly hard to tear your eyes away from him.

“Jake’s right here, sunshine. If I answer, will you listen?” He raised an eyebrow, teasing you just the same. He had a point; you were quite pigheaded when it came to anyone else’s opinion, even if you tried your best not to be.

“I will, I promise.” You withheld the fact that all you wanted to do was listen to him, that if he stayed, you would promise to listen until your very last dying breath.

“Okay,” he let out a long breath. “I’m drunk, so bear with me.” At that, a giggle fell from your lips, bits of joy stuck in your teeth despite worrying you’d never feel it again. “Out of everyone I know, you’ve always had it together. You knew where you were going, what you were doing, and most of the time, you knew what everyone else was doing, too. Or what they should have been doing, at least.” A smile struck your lips, full but still sad because he was right. Planning and preparing were the two very things that kept you going, even if it made you overlook emotions and fun. “You still have it together, Y/N, even if things aren’t going exactly the way you wanted.”

“I just… I feel like after all this work, all of this time, I should be somewhere, be something.” You let out an exasperated sigh, your head falling back against his chest with a thud. “Instead, I’m almost twenty-five, still living in my moms house with no job and relying on my high school boyfriend to help pick me up off the ground.”

“Hey,” his interruption was curt, gruff almost as he voiced his distaste for your statement. “You’re not relying on me. I’m not forced to be here because you couldn’t do it alone. I want to be here. I offered to be here. I jumped at the chance, actually.” He said, his lips hovering over your ear as he leaned in further. He smelled like cheap cigarettes and red wine, the two fighting a losing battle against his expensive cologne. It was hard to resist the temptation, to hold yourself back from kissing him and confusing the two of you even further. “Besides, I’m not picking you up off the ground, ‘cause you were never down there in the first place.” The vibrations of his voice sent a shiver down your spine, and the warmth of his breath made your stomach flutter. “Also, I’d like to think I’m a little more than just your old high school boyfriend.”

“You are.” The words slipped out with little thought, forcing you to explain your thoughts further. “You’re everything, bug. It’s always been you, too.” You took another sip of wine, swallowing back the heaviness of your statement. Even if the time was wrong, even if you weren’t meant to be, you would always be his. In this lifetime, his presence would always be the only thing you ever craved.

“You’ll get a job, sunshine. I bet you ten bucks you’ll get a call tomorrow.” At that, you let out a dry, sarcastic laugh. It had been months since you finished school, and months since you’d been waiting for an offer. For him to think the tables would suddenly turn was naïve, even if it was comforting. You knew that if everyone else in the world stopped believing in you, even if they thought your amount to nothing, he would continue to cheer you on.

Perhaps he was betting on a job offer for his own personal agenda. If you had certainty again, if you knew where you were going, you wouldn’t be so afraid to let him in.

“You’re funny, Jake.” You dismissed him, saddened as you continued to watch the sky.

“I’ll be expecting ten dollars, then.” He squeezed you a little tighter, the action pulling you further into him. You wanted to tell him that you never wanted him to let go, but you bit your tongue as you realized how selfish it was. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” You assured him.

“Is that why you left? The first time, and this time?” You froze, his question blunt and an answer just out of reach. You wondered what tipped him off, what forced him to ask such a question? You weren’t sure what exactly he was referring to, so before responding you thought it best to ask.

“What… what do you mean?”

“You’re a planner. You always knew how your life would go… and you never expected me. I turned it upside down the first time, and then you left and got yourself back on track… you learned how to be alone and you figured your shit out, just for me to show up and throw things out of whack again.” He seemed to be struggling to explain, but you were following him. “You like control, and you like certainty, and when you love someone this much, it kinda feels like everything is out of control. You don’t know if I’ll leave, or if we’ll run into trouble that causes more bad than good, and you don’t know what I’m thinking or where I’m going to end up. You being with me… kinda makes you accept a whole shitload of uncertainty, and you love certainty.”

“Jake, even if I went back in time and knew that I would end up with you, that we would end up like this, it still never would have prepared me for it.” You breathed, trying to wrap your head around the complexity and intensity of the emotions you felt for him. “I don’t think any kind of logic or sense could explain this. The way I feel for you… it’s so overwhelming, so unlike anything I’ve ever felt. When people used to talk about love, I never ever thought it would feel like this.” You swore you could feel his heart beat faster as you continued to speak, but you did your best to ignore it so you could keep your composure. “It scares me a little, and maybe it’s part of the reason why I left, but it’s so much more than that. The uncertainty was worth it, because I never felt like you would do anything to make me regret it. Even now, you still haven’t.”

“So what is it? Explain it to me, because we were all over the place that morning, and I just need to understand it.”

“I left because I love you.” You replied, toying with a loose thread on the blanket below you. “Because all I’ve ever wanted was to see you succeed, to live a life you always dreamed about, and I’m terrified of standing in the way of it. I saw the notifications on your phone, and it scared the shit out of me. I thought you were going to put your whole life on pause to figure us out, and I couldn’t handle it. You worked so hard for this, just like you did way back then, and I can’t ruin it for you. I’m so fucked up right now… drinking wine on the roof because I’m twenty-five and directionless. I can’t force you to plan your life around me when it’s so crazy right now. I don’t know where I’ll end up, and I guess I’m afraid if we do try again, you’ll regret it. I can handle a lot, but I couldn’t handle knowing you resented me.”

“That would never happen.” He said, his heart aching at the simple thought of you believing he could house such feelings towards you.

“But you don’t know that.” You argued. “When we were eighteen, we ended this on good terms to avoid that feeling. When you came back and I saw you, I was so excited and happy that I forgot about everything else… I ignored any consequences. I’m no better off now than I was then, and to tie you down when you’ve spent the last few years with so much freedom… I can’t, Jake.”

As you said it aloud, Mel’s voice rang louder in the back of your head, telling you that you couldn’t make that decision for him. At the same time, what else could you do? Could you risk the very thing you were determined to avoid? Could you chance all of his love for you being replaced with a bitter, cold emotion that would haunt you for the rest of your life?

“If you’re worried about me, you don’t have to be.” He hummed, fighting every urge to argue. It was easy for him to respond with counterattacks and emotion, because the whole situation frustrated him beyond belief, but you loved logic, and he was trying his hardest to speak from his brain rather than his heart. “My career is important to me. It’s been a long and difficult journey to get where we are, and I’m thankful for it every day. I wouldn’t just give it up, Y/N. My brothers, my fans… I have people counting on me. At the same time, work can only get you so far. When I’m old and tired, the stage isn’t going to be sitting beside me on a porch somewhere. My guitar will be in the living room, collecting dust because my hands hurt too much to play it. There’s a point where all of that is going to be a memory—a damn good one, but a memory.”

You weren’t sure why it hurt so bad, but the thought of him not playing his guitar had struck an agonizing chord in your heart.

“Before I met you, I never thought I could love something else the same way I love music. Then, you showed up, and everything changed. Were not kids, and I’d like to think we’re a lot less stupid. We can have two things at once. I can handle that, even if I didn’t think I could back then. I want you beside me on that porch, bitchin’ at me ‘cause all the guitar does is collect dust. You wouldn’t stand in the way of anything, ‘cause since that day I promised you I’d love you forever, I knew what I was signing myself up for. I will love you forever, and that dream always included you, sunshine. It was never just me up on that stage; it was also you, cheering me on and giving me the encouragement to keep going.”

Your cheeks were damp again, the tears free flowing and your misery loud enough for the whole world to hear. How was he so perfect, in everything he did and every word he said? How was it fair that two people could love each other so much but have so many things stand in the way?

“Loving you is the only thing I know how to do.” You confessed, raising your palms to your cheeks to swipe away the tears. “I promised too, and I meant it. I swear I could never love anyone else like this.”

“No need to cry, beautiful.” He hugged you tighter, encasing you in a blanket of protection that not even the strongest force could break through. “I let you leave the first time because I was scared. I’m letting you go this time because I want you to be ready, too. I’ve been waiting six years, Y/N. If it takes six more for you to get there, I’ll still be waiting. You are worth every bad thing and every day spent alone. Nobody else could ever be what you are to me.”

“God, shut up.” You laughed despite the sadness, a smile contradicting your tears. “Stop making me fall for you all over again.”

“Too bad,” he laughed, watching as you twisted yourself around so you could look at him. “I promised to love you, so get used to it sunshine.” The warmth of his eyes made you feel like everything was going to be okay, even if everything else in the universe was trying to convince you otherwise. When he was out of sight, it felt like the world was ending, but as soon as your eyes landed on him, you felt stupid for ever worrying at all. “Can you promise me something?”

“You sure you want me to? Our promises seem more like curses.” You tried to joke despite the truth being horribly painful.

“Never a curse, sweetheart, even if it does hurt sometimes.” He assured you, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “Promise me that when you’re ready, you’ll let me know.” Your lips turned down into a frown, saddened at the idea of him waiting patiently for you to get your shit together.

“The second I do, you’ll be the first to know.”

“And if there’s ever a time you know for sure I’m not what you want, I need to know that, too.” You almost laughed at the incredulous statement, knowing that in this lifetime, not wanting Jake wasn’t a possibility. But, for his sanity, you gave a small nod, assuring him that you would tell him if it did happen to come true. “Thank you for calling me tonight.”

“Thank you for coming. I know I don’t deserve anything from you, but you were the only person I wanted to talk to.” You spun around, now facing him and carefully laying your legs over his thighs. He smiled down at you, his hands resting on your hips as he pulled you closer to him.

“You deserve everything, sunshine.” He whispered, his eyes twinkling under the pale moonlight. You swore, for a single second, you could see the entire universe in the near black of his irises. “Anytime you want me here, I’ll be here. I’ve always been a call away, even if it didn’t seem like it.”

“You were right.” Your stomach was twisted in a knot, the faint hint of alcohol on his breath making your head spin. Your face being so close to his was making it hard to think of anything else, his presence intoxicating as an invisible force pushed you further into his arms.

“About?” He raised his eyebrow, seemingly caught in the same flurry of emotions as you. The tip of his nose was nearly brushing yours, his eyelids heavy as his fingers tightened their hold on you.

“This isn’t very friend-like.” You whispered, inching your lips closer to his.

“I did tell you that it would be hard to be friends.” He reminded you, one of his hands slowly removing itself from your hip to cup your face.

“Yeah, because I don’t want to be friends.” You nearly scoffed the words, disgusted at the thought of it. If it were easier, if the world wasn’t so complicated and cruel, you never would have forced the title on the two of you.

“Me neither.” He agreed. “So let’s not be friends.”

“What else could we be?” You giggled, finding his statement silly considering the predicament you found yourselves in.

“Two people in love, that can’t fully be together yet.” He replied. “Feel like it fits us a little better.”

“That’s a complicated title.” You teased, his lips so close to yours you could almost taste him on your tongue.

“It’s nobody’s business but ours.” He smiled, the softness of his features in the dim light of the night reminding you of a younger version of him. The two of you, in perfect unison, happiness on your faces but lingering sadness in your hearts reminded you of a simpler time, one with a much less complex relationship, when you could be together with no worries.

“Okay, sounds good to me.” In that moment, you would have agreed to anything he said, solely because you couldn’t imagine causing him any more trouble.

“Is there rules for this?” He asked, clearly running on the same train of thought as you were.

“Not tonight, ‘cause we’re just trying to figure it out, right?”

“Right.” He nodded gently, searching your face for any sigh of discomfort. When he could find none, he finally leaned forward and closed the gap between you.

The taste of him was sweet on your lips, fulfilling and so unlike anything else. The simple action left your head spinning and your chest aching, and you wondered if something felt this good, why it could not last forever. His hand held you to him, unwilling to let you slip away before he could fully enjoy the moment. It didn’t take long for him to test his luck, his tongue grazing your lower lip as he silently begged you for more. He barely had to ask—you were bending to his will and parting your lips in an instant, your hands tangling in his hair as your chest pressed against his own.

There were no fireworks, no butterflies or anything like what the movies would describe. Instead, it felt right, like the two of you were meant to be together on the rooftop of your childhood home one last time. When he pulled away, you were breathless, more stars dancing in your eyes than in the sky behind you, and the stupid smile on your lips made you regret every decision you had made in the previous four days.

“Whatever you do sunshine, whatever we are… please don’t disappear again. I sent you that song earlier because it’s true. It’s dark when you’re gone—the sun doesn’t shine and the birds don’t sing, and I can’t handle not having you in my life. As friends, as lovers, as enemies, I don’t care, as long as we’re something.” The pleading tone nearly turned you to dust, the remorse and regret for hurting him so badly seeming to eat you alive as you sat in his arms.

“I won’t disappear.” You promised, closing your eyes so he could not see the tears welling up once again. “I’m perfectly fine with being in love, but not fully together… yet.”

“Good, because I like that a hell of a lot more than I like friends.” He let out a sigh of relief, his eyes flickering to the sky to lessen the intensity of your staring contest. Then, out of nowhere, his eyes lit up and a smile broke out on his face. “Look, sunshine!” He exclaimed, causing you to jump. You whipped your head around, your eyes following the direction of his in just enough time to catch the tail end of—“a shooting star.”

“Make a wish, quick!” You matched his energy, remembering how many stars you wished upon when you were young and in love. For a long time, you cursed the stars and universe because none of the hopeful desires ever seemed to come true—especially the ones you wished upon without him there beside you. Now, sitting on the rooftop with him, held so tightly in his arms, your faith had suddenly been restored. You had gotten everything you ever wished for in the single moment you were sharing with him now.

The both of you closed your eyes, the wispy bright tail of the shooting star still fresh in your minds as you settled on the things you wanted most from this life.

He wished for you.

You wished for him.

Funny how after so many years, your greatest desires hadn’t changed one bit.

☾𖤓

You threw your keys down on the kitchen table, exhausted and sad as you returned home alone. For a few hours, the two of you sat on the roof talking about everything and anything that came to mind, and only when the peek of the sun in the sky began to show did you decide it was best you take him home. You held back your tears the entire drive, not daring to ask the dreaded question of when he would be flying back to Nashville. Instead, you passed the time with laughter and a few more stolen kisses, only making the departure harder when the automatic hotel doors closed behind him.

It was hard watching him walk away when you wanted to do nothing more than walk beside him.

A slow and tear filled drive home left you questioning all of your life choices, and the sun shining bright in the sky did nothing other than taunt you as you made your unusual walk of shame to your own front door. You felt like you had no tears left to cry, but somehow a few still slipped down your cheeks as you collapsed on the couch, too tired to make the trek upstairs. The chill of the night was still settled deep in your bones, and as you threw a tiny blanket over your legs and laid your head on a throw pillow, you could only remember how warm and safe it was to be in his arms.

You clicked on the television for some background noise, playing whatever channel your mother had left on before she went to bed as you begged for sleep to take you. You closed your eyes, the ghost of a migraine throbbing behind your forehead as you noticed the smell of Jake’s cologne stuck to the fibres of your sweater, which was comforting just as much as it was sickening. You reached above your head, your fingertips grazing the material of the curtains as you tried to slide it across the window to block the rays of sun. Eventually, you managed to pull it halfway across, which was good enough for you.

Just as you felt yourself begin to drift off, you heard the familiar chime of your text tone, forcing your eyes open once again. With a huff of annoyance, you reached into your pocket and pulled it out, just in time to feel the vibration of the second text that followed. You held the screen just a few inches from your face, squinting so you could focus your eyes on the words.

Jake ❤️

Since we’re no longer friends, I…

The preview only read so far, frustrating you further as you struggled to activate your Face ID in the dimly lit room. Eventually, you gave up and put in your passcode, wondering what was so important that he had to text you after your long night spent together. Even if it was important, you were sure it could have waited until the morning.

Or, afternoon, more likely.

Jake ❤️

Since we’re no longer friends, I thought it would be acceptable to tell you how fucking bad I wish you were here to keep me company.

Your stomach twisted with a sudden burst of emotion at his words, worsened further by the photograph he attatched below the already blunt message. Suddenly, you were wide awake and sleep was no longer a passing thought. Freshly showered with a towel hung low on his hips, Jake’s face was hidden behind the phone taking said picture in the foggy bathroom mirror. His hair, not even bothered to be towel dried, was dripping water down his tanned chest, and in the small frame of his face that you could see, a smirk was on the corner of his lips.

Beneath the towel, though, was what caught your attention more than anything else. His dick, half hard and pressing against the fabric, sent you down a steep spiral that nearly made you jump from the couch and drive back to his hotel. You swallowed hard, squeezing your eyes shut as you let your head push further into the pillow below you.

Maybe, in love and not fully together would be far harder than just sticking damn friends.

☾𖤓

You woke with a start, your head pounding and your heart racing as your phone rang loudly on your chest. You blinked hard, trying to adjust to the bright light pooling in through the large windows behind you. With a long intake of breath, you pushed yourself upwards, grabbing your phone in one hand and rubbing your face with the other. You peeked at the screen, recoiling at the brightness as you tried your best to adjust. Once you did, you felt your stomach drop and your chest tighten.

Private number.

Could it really be?

You cleared your throat, straightening yourself out as you hit accept on the call. Putting on your friendliest and most professional persona, you placed the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Ms. Y/L/N?” On the other side of the phone was a man, curt but seemingly friendly enough.

“Yes, speaking.” You replied, trying to ignore the pull of your heartstrings. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, terrified of getting excited only to be let down.

“So nice to finally be in touch with you again!” He greeted again, chipper and cheery as he realized he was speaking with the right person. “I’m not sure if you remember me—we had a brief meeting here when you dropped off your application. My name is Bruce Myers and I’m calling on behalf of the English Faculty at the University of Michigan.”

“Hi, Mr. Myers. Of course I remember, it’s a pleasure to be speaking with you again.” You responded, now awake and on high alert as you prepared for the best or the worst news of your life.

“Please, Bruce is fine.” He chuckled. “I have to say, I’ve been sitting in my office reading over your resume all morning. All week, actually.” He cleared his throat. You could hear a chair wheel squeaking in the background, then a rustle of papers as he shuffled them around at his desk. “Top of your class in high school, and at UPenn. 5 years experience as a TA, and an achievement and awards list I’m not sure I could compare to.” Your cheeks turned red at the compliment, a fizzle of excitement sparking in your chest. You did your best to extinguish it, remembering that nothing was set in stone and he could be talking you up in hopes of letting you down easy.

“Thank you, Bruce. It’s been a long road to get here, but as I hope you can see, education has always been a top priority for me. When I came back to Michigan, I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to apply at such a fantastic university.” You tried to hide the nervous shake in your tone, biting down on the tip of your tongue as you cringed at your own words. You hoped you weren’t coming on too strong, too desperate.

“I can speak on behalf of all of us when I say we’re incredibly lucky to have received your application.” He let out a small chuckle, taking in a breath as he got lost in thought for a moment. “As I’m sure you know, hiring qualified candidates has been a struggle for everyone as of late.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure.” You allowed yourself to let out a small laugh, keeping up small talk but eager for him to get to the point.

“I hope we didn’t take too long to reach out—if it were up to me, I would have hired you on the spot, but of course we had a few hoops to jump through first.” Your heart raced, your eyes sparkling as he continued to talk. “If you’re interested and still available, we’d like to extend the offer for you to join us here for the month of August. With no prior lecturing experience, it’s a little more difficult to give you the position immediately, but we’ve all come to the agreement it would be foolish of us to pass up the opportunity to bring in someone who’s so eager to learn.”

“And what exactly would that entail?” You swallowed hard, wanting to agree immediately but knowing it was best to take your time with it.

“Well, four weeks of training, which is as much for you as it is for us. You would be under a mentor, learning the basics and balance of such a fast paced program. It would give you an opportunity to learn the campus, learn about your colleagues at the same time, and it would also allow us to get to know you. It would be probationary, of course, but if at the end of the four week term we’re all on the same page, we could have you teaching an intro to literature course for the fall semester.”

Your mouth went dry, your palms clammy and your heart racing. You were too stunned to speak, so excited that you thought you might have to pinch yourself to pull yourself from a dream. You’d been waiting for a call for weeks, losing hope and more disappointment growing by the day. You barely expected a grade school to reach out, let alone a university.

Then, at the back of your mind, you heard it—loud and clear, and tantalizing.

“You’ll get a job, sunshine. I bet you ten bucks you’ll get a call tomorrow.”

He was right, and you struck him down as if he was speaking nonsense.

With Jake’s words of encouragement echoing in your mind, you pulled yourself out of your state of shock and nodded eagerly, even if the man on the other end of the phone could not see it.

“I would be delighted to join you, and even more so to prove that I’m the right person for the job.”

“Excellent.” He boomed, relived that you accepted the offer. “Why don’t you come down to campus on Friday. We can discuss some more details, really get into the specifics… expectations and salaries and such. Does that work for you?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “That’s perfect. Any time works.”

“Let’s say ten, and go from there?” He offered, clearly willing to work with you on the matter.

“Of course, ten is great. I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it, Y/N. If you have any questions or concerns between now and then, please feel free to reach out to me. I’ve forwarded some information to the email you have on your resume, so you can respond there, or give me a call during business hours if that suits you better.” He explained, the rustling papers ceasing and the squeak of his chair no longer audible.

“Thank you for taking a chance on me, Bruce. I’ll be sure to reach out if I can think of anything.”

“Perfect, thank you. Goodbye for now, and we’ll talk on Friday.”

“See you Friday!” You let a little excitement slip, but he didn’t seem to notice or care as he ended the call. When the line disconnected, it left you staring at the Lock Screen of your phone with an unfamiliar feeling twisting your stomach.

You were nervous, but thrilled to have an opportunity like such. It was the biggest moment of your life, the most exciting change and the very thing you’d been waiting for. You were so filled with energy you could have run laps around the house, the few hours of sleep barely bothering you as you reran the conversation through your head a million times.

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed to yourself, quiet but still enough to express some of the joy you were feeling. Just as you did so, paws against the floor sounded and Ozz appeared in the doorway, happy to share your excitement and most definitely looking for someone to fill his food dish. He approached the couch, jumping up and landing on your legs as he began to purr. “I have a job, Ozz. I actually have a job!” You scratched behind his ear, knowing it was insane to share such sentiments with a cat, but unable to keep it locked up.

Then, the realization struck you; you had to tell people, share the great news and celebrate accordingly.

The only issue was, the first person that came to mind was not your best friend who lived the struggle with you, still sleeping upstairs and awaiting good news. It wasn’t your mother, there by your side every minute of every day of your life, cheering you on and holding your hand. It wasn’t your sister, and it wasn’t even your cat.

Jake was the only person in the whole world you wanted to share the news with.

Even if he should not be that person for you anymore, even if he didn’t care as much as the others would, you couldn’t bear to speak to anyone else but him. Telling someone else before him nearly sickened you, because after everything you had been through with him, he was the only person who deserved to know. He listened to you speak your dreams aloud from fifteen to now, studied with you, filled out university applications with you, and sent you off to school even when all you wanted to do was turn around, even if it hurt him so badly to do so. Even during the six years he was absent, there was a part of you that continued on solely because he was alive, existing at the same time as you somewhere in the world. His absence never had any effect on the support and love and encouragement he always gave to you.

So, you did exactly that; you clicked his contact, immediately drafting up a message and hitting send without thinking twice.

You

I have ten bucks here with your name on it, bug. I never could have done any of this without you. I love you more than you could ever know ❤️

You didn’t care if he responded, nor if he ever read it. It felt right to express the truth, freeing to be completely transparent with him. He deserved to know how much he meant to you, how his impact on you lasted through years of life, survived through every struggle, and existed in your heart even when he was not right in front of you. He was responsible for every good thing, every accomplishment and triumph you ever experienced, because his love made you into the person who stared back at you in the mirror. Loving Jake was never an option because without him, you wouldn’t be you.

Maybe, despite all of the doubt and uncertainty, the confusion and the hurt, the sun was shining again, for both of you. The world no longer had to be bleak, scary and lonely, because you finally knew where you were headed. Your feet, firmly planted on the ground for the first time in your entire life, no longer wanted to stay put in one place. Instead, they were begging to run towards the only thing in the world that ever felt like home, to run to him.

And maybe, just maybe, your wish upon a star was worth it this time, and the two of you could finally overcome the struggle and be together once again.

TAGLIST: @anythingforjtk @highway-tuna @klarxtr @hollyco @thetroublegetssoloud71 @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @raceb14 @watchingover-hypegirl @starshine-gvf @do-it-jakey-baby @gretavansara @jakesbeloved @woyayaofdreams @jakeyt @kiszkas-canvas @gracev0609 @josh-iamyour-mama @musicspeaks @gretavangroupie @gretavanmoon @gvfmarge @takenbythemadness @fleetingjake

[consumed-by-fandom]

Every time I try to explain anything about my interpretation of DIDude it gets too long so here it is in a nutshell (put it under a cut because it’s still kind of long):

P1 is the first dude, went thru a lot of trauma and is the most mentally ill. Is the host of the system until he becomes too unwell and a danger to society (Postal 1) which he then goes dormant. Half because he thinks his work is done and half because he’s absolutely fucking disgusted by what he’s done. Doesn’t come back until like 6 years later when P2’s general incompetence forces him to be a protector of sorts. Get blown back into dormancy by P2 shooting himself, doesn’t come back until 12 ish years later. Trauma holder, can be a bit of a persecutor when pushed.

P2 forms in P1’s childhood and is seen by P1 as a “demon” due to heavy religious trauma, eventually just straight up tells P1 he’s just some guy not a demon. Emotionally detached from everything P1 went through, okay with violence, has an issue with addiction and relationships, and takes over as host when P1 goes dormant. Basically just the “main” Dude. Mellows out over the years and realises violence doesn’t always have to be the answer. Acts as a protector when he isn’t the host.

Alt forms during P2’s radiation coma, he’s pretty much what’s seen in Paradise Lost, snarky, smartass, and takes P2’s trauma as a memory holder. Even more emotionally detached than P2 and feels emotions as shadow and fleeting. Surprisingly good with people but can’t mask for shit due to his accent and the way he acts around others. Can use his brain to get out of situations without resorting to violence. In my timeline I make him return to P2 instead of wandering off just because otherwise it would present a massive issue for Dude (severe amnesia and general hijinks with a double). Technically the only one with a source (Postal 3 being the coma dream)

The Dude in Brain Damaged is what happens when P1, P2 and P3 eventually fuse after years of working out their issues. Just a more solid Dude who actively sorts out his problems and tries to be a bit better with his anger issues and violent tendencies. Other Dude is those violent tendencies and symptoms, along with repressed trauma and all that put into an alter. He’s a persecutor who builds an inner world to force Dude to confront his flaws and past. Very misguided - he wants to help Dude overcome his problems, but thinks beating some sense into him is the best way. (He tries to get Dude to understand he will always be a part of him, so rather trying to fight him he has to accept him)

When Dude finally does that and spends some quality time not blowing OD’s head off, they reconcile and after a few more years of working together they eventually fuse to become P4 Dude. P4 is like the ultimate Dude with a lot more self control and is finally maturing a little. Still is the Dude so he still does dumb shit like pissing on people and violence, but he’s got a much better outlook on the world and people and he has a lot more patience with them now.

[ggukcangetit]

Tomorrow: Jungkook x Reader

**

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: Fluff. Grad student au!; grad student! jungkook; grad student! reader; grad student! bts

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: Suggestive language, mild kissing. Not much else really.

Summary: At the beginning of your third year of your PhD program, you didn’t expect many changes. Until the new PhD cohort started classes, and Jeon Jungkook became part of your group of friends.

A/N: i just wrote this randomly with zero plot in mind. idk what this ended up becoming but read it and lemme know if you like it? 

“Choi is a madwoman. I swear she makes me do so many lit reviews just to see me suffer.” Park Jimin, 2nd year PhD student, works part time at HopeWorld dance studio, and is currently regretting many of his life choices.

“I told you not to say yes to every single project that came your way.” Min Yoongi, 4th year PhD student, weekend DJ at Club Moonlight, recipient of the university’s most prestigious research grant, currently lives in a posh apartment four streets away from the main research lab.

“We’re older. Which means we have more experience. Which means we tend to be right more often.” Kim Seokjin, another 4th year PhD student, enrolled into the PhD program after realising that the completion of his MBA meant he would have to join the family business, amateur chef with professional sass, and sole reason behind Min Yoongi being able to afford living in a posh apartment four streets away from the main research lab.

“Not when you bet Tae he couldn’t finish grading Kang’s first year Intro class papers in 24 hours.” Jung Hoseok, 3rd year PhD student, simultaneously working on a second Master’s degree, also happens to run HopeWorld dance studio during his oodles of free time.

“Speaking of, weren’t you supposed to treat us if you lost the bet, Seokjin?” Kim Namjoon, 3rd year PhD student, plant dad, head of the graduate student council, and all-around overachiever.

“Tae was supposed to choose the place. Did you decide on which exorbitantly expensive restaurant Seokjin is going to take us to, Tae?” Y/L/N Y/N, 3rd year PhD student, roommates with Namjoon and Hoseok, addicted to bubble tea.

“I have a better plan. The incoming first year PhDs are supposed to have their orientation tomorrow. I think Seokjin should organise a mixer to welcome them.” Kim Taehyung, aforementioned ‘Tae’, 2nd year PhD student, works part time at the local art gallery, roommates with Park Jimin, deceptively fast at grading papers.

“I do not remember agreeing to that,” said Seokjin, with a frown, shutting his laptop with a definitive snap.

“Come on, it’s not like you can’t afford it,” Yoongi remarked, not having looked up from the large stack of papers in front of him. “If you can insist on paying 3/4ths of the ridiculously high rent of our apartment even though we could have moved into the perfectly reasonable priced place 20 minutes away from the lab, you can damn well afford to host a mixer for the incoming cohort.”

“20 minutes by car. It takes 45 minutes to walk there, Yoongi. Or do I need to remind you of the fact that only Y/N and Sooyoung own cars in our department?” scoffed Seokjin.

“Do I hear trouble in paradise? Have Yoongi and Seokjin finally had their first fight after years of marital bliss?” Lim Sooyoung, 4th year PhD student, part-time yoga instructor, full-time reluctant designated driver due to being the only other PhD student in the department with a car. 

“Hilarious,” grumbled Seokjin. “That joke is about as old as the milk carton at the bottom of Namjoon’s fridge.”

“That’s still there?” asked Hoseok, scandalised. “You told me you threw that out 4 months ago!”

“It’s a limited edition Blue Bean milk carton! I couldn’t throw it out, Hobi,” replied Namjoon, sheepishly. The use of Hoseok’s nickname meant that he had run out of logical arguments against throwing out the milk carton that had been purchased three months into their first year of doctoral studies. 

“Have you ever considered emptying out the contents and keeping just the carton?” you asked. This suggestion was met with the raising of an eyebrow and the throwing of an airpod by Namjoon. Unfortunately, this also meant that the airpod didn’t reach its intended target.

“Ow!” exclaimed Hoseok, rubbing the side of his face where the airpod had made contact. “This is why you’ve been through 33 pairs of airpods in the last year, Namjoon! You have dormant violent tendencies and terrible hand-eye coordination.”

“Now back to that mixer,” said Taehyung, turning towards Seokjin. “I’m thinking around 5 pm at the Underground should be good. What do you think?”

“Fine,” sighed Seokjin, reluctantly. “I’ll send a message on Slack. Who’s got the first years’ contact info?”

xxx

The next day, you found yourself struggling to find parking outside the Underground, despite it being 4.30 pm on a Tuesday. Namjoon and Hoseok were sitting at the back and discussing ways in which they could watch as many of the student films that were being shown over the weekend, while Taehyung sat shotgun and muttered to himself as he tried to destroy some kind of adversary on that godforsaken game that he always seemed to play. You whipped out your phone and started texting Sooyoung about whether she had found any parking.

SY: just parked… sending you the location… its behind the club

SY: is seokjin with you

Y/N: thanks!

Y/N: no i’ve got tae joon n hobi 

SY: ok… wonder how he’s getting here… yoongi’s with me… said seokjin left a while back

Y/N: idk… sure he found something… uber or lyft or whatever… don't worry he won't ditch lol 

Y/N: i found a spot damnnnnn. cya in a bit

SY: lol tae wouldn’t let him live if he ditched

SY: nice :D yoongi and i are in the purple section

The purple section was undoubtedly the best spot in the Underground, as you had discovered almost 2 years ago. Being new to the city, you had basically followed Joon and Hobi wherever they went to socialize or get food. It was around the end of your second month in the program that Seokjin planned a mid-semester gathering, refusing to eat at, in his words, “another cheap taco truck masquerading as kitschy Instagram bait”. That was your first encounter with the Underground as well as your first experience in the purple section. Simply put, it had the best sofas and chairs, an abundance of vintage arcade games, easy access to the bar and food counter, and a separate music setup. It also cost a lot more to sit at the purple section, but Seokjin had never been the type to scrimp when it came to anything. It had become a kind of tradition after that; every time someone had a birthday, Seokjin would reserve the purple section for the evening. Not having grown up surrounded by luxury and riches, it was sometimes difficult for you to understand how Seokjin never thought twice before spending money on things. Then again, you doubted you would’ve been this thoughtful even if you had this kind of money at your disposal. Seokjin might’ve been hard to read at times, but his heart was in the right place.

Speaking of, you spotted Seokjin standing next to a couple of people you didn’t recognise. Deciding that this was probably the best time to get introduced to the first years, you walked over to them with a smile.

“Just deposited Joon, Hobi, and Tae near the bar. I feel sorry for your tab today, Seokjin.”

Seokjin lifted one of his thick arched eyebrows at you and then burst into his signature windshield wiper laugh. “I’ll give them a free pass today. Afterall, it’s the beginning of a new academic year!”

“You’re planning on dumping all of Kang’s data analysis on them, aren’t you?” you asked, trying to suppress a grin.

“Ah, Y/N, you know me so well,” he grinned, his features lighting up mischievously. “By the way, here’s two thirds of the new cohort. Song Yeri and Jeon Jungkook.”

You glanced at the two unfamiliar people and smiled in greeting. Yeri was a petite girl with long black hair who quickly fell into conversation with you. Jungkook, on the other hand, gave you a soft nod and walked over to where Jimin was opening a couple of beers. 

“So is Professor Kang someone we should be worried about?” asked Yeri, not giving you much time to pay much attention to Jungkook. “I wouldn’t want to be unprepared.”

Seokjin laughed at her worried tone. “Straight off the bat, huh?” 

Yeri flushed slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear self-consciously. “Oh no- I mean, it just seemed like that from your conversation!”

“Don’t worry, Yeri,” you assured her. “Seokjin’s a fourth year - not much phases him. He’s doing his PhD under Kang so he has to do tons of data analysis for her projects. Which he sometimes dumps on people who have been bothering him.”

Yeri looked suitably concerned at this new piece of information. She glanced at Seokjin’s handsome profile and smiled uncertainly. You couldn’t help but giggle at her reaction. It really was difficult to get a grasp on everyone’s personalities just by their looks. Each and every guy in the department was strikingly handsome, and Sooyoung, the only other female besides you, looked like she had walked out of a fashion show. It would’ve been extremely intimidating if you hadn’t personally been a witness to how clumsy Namjoon was, how lame Seokjin’s puns were, how scared Yoongi and Hoseok were of anything remotely resembling an insect, how Tae hadn’t managed to cook a single meal without setting off the fire alarm or giving Jimin food poisoning, how Jimin often collided into objects because he was laughing too much, or how Sooyoung had gotten lost multiple times on her way to campus in spite of driving along the same road for more than 3 years. You were sure Yeri, and the other two first years, would definitely get over the initial nerves and intimidation surrounding their colleagues. In fact, if Jungkook’s animated conversation with Jimin was anything to go by, it seemed like he had gotten over that already.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to the others.” You steered Yeri in Sooyoung and Yoongi’s direction.

xxx

“Thanksgiving next week! I cannot wait to get away from this blasted Ethics class!” 

You were currently in Seokjin and Yoongi’s shared posh apartment, trying to proof-read a paper before the conference deadline. On the couch next to you sat Seokjin and Namjoon, eyes blinking rapidly in tiredness, while Jimin sat across from you, his silver hair tied into a messy ponytail. 

The door to the apartment swung open at that moment as Jungkook walked in, armed with takeout from at least 4 different places.

“I come bearing sustenance,” he announced, as Jimin jumped up with surprising alacrity and rushed towards him. 

“Your Busan blood runs strong, my friend,” said Jimin, appreciatively, eyeing all the different containers on the table. “I knew I could count on you.”

“That makes zero sense, Jimin,” scoffed Sooyoung. She was buried deep inside Yoongi’s favorite bean bag, having taken it over since the owner was currently not at home. “But li’l Jeon has proven to be a valuable addition to our department.”

“Ugh! Don’t call him that! Li’l Jeon sounds like something else,” you said, scrunching your nose in distaste.

“I agree,” replied Jungkook, rolling up his sleeves as he began opening the containers carefully. “But i can assure you of one thing - there is nothing li’l about this Jeon. In any sense of the word.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” you declared, throwing a particularly soft pillow over your face. 

Three months into the semester and Jungkook had become an integral part of your group of friends. It had turned out that Jungkook and Jimin knew each other very well, having gone to school together in Busan. It’s not as if you hadn’t become well acquainted with the other two first years - Yeri still consulted you whenever she needed advice on how to deal with grading or professors or classes in general; and Lauren, an international student from France, was very friendly and turned up at all the department hangouts. But Jungkook seemed like he had been part of your group forever - not someone who had met almost everyone for the first time about 3 months ago. As was customary with first year PhD students, they were required to complete a few mandatory courses before being allowed to customize their coursework around their individual research interests. So even though Jungkook had all the same classes with Yeri and Lauren, almost every moment outside of classes was spent with one of you.

“I can’t believe it’s already time for Thanksgiving,” said Jimin, popping an entire dumpling into his mouth. “-ime eeli plyz.”

“Chew your food, you barbarian,” scolded Seokjin, blowing on a particularly large piece of fried chicken before putting the entirety into his mouth. A couple of chews and a large swallow later, Seokjin was ready for a second piece.

“Speak for yourself,” remarked Sooyoung, holding onto her food protectively.

“I remember Yoongi telling us during our orientation,” Namjoon piped up, a can of beer in his hand. “‘In a PhD program, days are slow, but semesters are fast’. I thought he was high at that time, but I realise now that he’s a true genius.”

“I still don’t get why you’re such a Yoongi fanboy,” grumbled Seokjin, settling comfortably into the couch once again. “I’m just as wise, and definitely a lot funnier.”

“Don’t forget about being a drama queen,” said Sooyoung, nudging Seokjin’s knee with her toes. “You’ve got that one over Yoongi as well.”

“Four years and you're still as ungrateful,” sighed Seokjin, looking uncharacteristically cheerful at the teasing. 

“At least I’m consistent,” shrugged Sooyoung. “Gimme some of your kimchi.”

“Consistency is only useful across data samples,” remarked Seokjin, picking up a small amount of kimchi with his chopsticks and feeding Sooyoung. “Not sure how desirable it is in human relationships. Life would be unbearably dull in that case.” 

“They’ve been dancing around each other for as long as I’ve known them. Why can’t they just get together and stop their incessant flirting in front of the rest of us,” you muttered darkly, vigorously pouring chili oil over your ramen. You, Namjoon, and Jungkook were still getting your food from the kitchen, while Jimin had gone ahead and joined the incessantly flirting pair in the living room.

“Y/N is always so bitter about anything to do with romance,” chuckled Namjoon. “Jungkook, do you know how annoyed she was when Hobi started dating last year?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of hearing that story.” Jungkook glanced at you cheekily, while popping open a can of beer.

“She didn’t speak to him for an entire week. Which was particularly inconvenient because the three of us had just started living in the same apartment, and we were all assigned to assist Choi on her year-end department survey. Poor Hobi thought he might have to find a new place to live.” 

“I’m sorry? Were you the one who came back home after extended office hours to find your friend butt-naked and balls-deep inside the barista who works across the street from our lab? I couldn’t get coffee from there for a month because I couldn’t look Sujin in the eye without immediately imagining Hobi in his natural drawers.”

Jungkook, who had chosen this exact moment to take a sip of beer, spat out the amber liquid on an unsuspecting Namjoon. 

“That’s what you get for deriving pleasure from other people’s misfortunes,” you remarked, smugly.

xxx

It was around 11.30 in the morning, when you heard a loud knocking on your apartment door. Classes had broken for Thanksgiving yesterday, which meant that today was your day to catch up on all the sleep you had missed over the last three months. But instead, you had been woken up much ahead of your intended 16 hours of sleep schedule. 

“You look awful.”

Jungkook walked into the apartment, looking far too fresh and sprightly for your liking. He was wearing that godforsaken plaid shirt that hung loosely off his body, but would highlight his rather well-defined muscles every time he happened to move in a particular way. You absolutely hated what a tease his shirt was. Fortunately for you, he wasn’t wearing the skin tight black jeans which always looked like they were about to burst at the seams, thanks to Jungkook’s equally well-defined thighs. 

“It’s not even noon. Why can’t you call before showing up? Where are your manners, Jeon?” you grumbled, checking to see if your pajamas had any glaring holes in them.

“I need help with the data analysis,” he mumbled sheepishly. “Professor Lee gave me a really tough dataset because I breezed through the first two assignments.”

“Still don’t see why you came over without any notice at this ungodly hour,” you continued, tapping your foot impatiently.

“I also got jjajangmyeon, kimbap, and bubble tea from Kimchi Palace.”

“What kind of bubble tea?” you asked, pushing yourself off the doorframe.

“Strawberry milk tea, half sugar, light ice, with extra strawberry jelly, and no boba.”

“I suppose it isn’t that early.”

A few minutes later, you were explaining principal component analysis to Jungkook, while eating jjajangmyeon and sipping bubble tea. The kimbap was put into the fridge for later, in case Namjoon or Hoseok wanted to have some when they got home at night. 

Jungkook was very intelligent; he picked up new concepts quite easily and was one hundred percent committed to whatever he worked on. He also had a refreshing sense of humor, where he didn’t always crack jokes or stay in the limelight, but his occasional quips were enough to send everyone into fits of laughter. He got along extremely well with each of them. He and Taehyung often walked around the city taking obscure, artsy photographs. Seokjin had basically adopted Jungkook as a younger brother due to his video gaming abilities. Namjoon was glad to finally have someone who enjoyed going on nature hikes with him, while Hoseok had been hugely impressed at Jungkook’s dancing and promptly asked him to help out at his studio. Jimin already knew Jungkook quite well, and Yoongi was more than happy to teach someone else the intricacies of cooking different kinds of meat. Even Sooyoung, who usually remained closed off from new people, had allowed Jungkook to use her car whenever someone needed to be picked up but she was too exhausted to drive. 

“I’m sorry I came by so early. I know you’ve been looking forward to catching up on sleep over the break,” he said softly, looking up from his laptop. That was the other thing that had struck you about Jungkook, he was very perceptive and sensitive to people around him. A rare quality which you appreciated far more than you let on.

“It’s fine. You saved me from having to cook lunch. That itself deserves many prizes from my end. You know how I hate cooking,” you shrugged.

“Speaking of, I’m making dinner for me and Tae tonight. Jimin’s visiting his brother, so it's just the two of us. And since I’d rather not get food poisoning, I’m putting Yoongi’s lamb chop recipe to good use,” he grinned boyishly. “You should come over if you don’t have anything else planned. It’ll save you from cooking another meal.”

“I might take you up on that offer. Let me check if either Joon or Hobi are having dinner at home, otherwise I’ll definitely be there.”

xxx

Taehyung and Jimin (and now Jungkook) lived about 10 minutes away from your place. It was a much larger apartment, so three people were more than comfortable there. Jungkook was staying there until he found another place to stay, but judging by how happy Jimin and Taehyung were with him around, he would probably end up staying with them permanently.

“I found parking at your building for the first time today,” you remarked, dropping your bag on the nearest couch. 

“Half the people are visiting family over the weekend. You won’t be so lucky next time.” Taehyung walked over lazily, his thick black hair falling messily over his eyes. He was dressed in his favorite Celine t-shirt and a pair of the loosest pants you had seen till date.

“The perm’s still looking good, Tae,” you grinned at him, taking the soda from his hand. 

“I’m planning on getting it done again once it wears off,” he said happily, settling into the couch. “Catch up on your sleep? Or did Gguk ruin your Thanksgiving plans as well?”

“‘As well’?” you asked, trying to suppress a grin.

“Taking advantage of the nearly empty laundry room and washing all the sheets does not count as ‘ruining’ anyone’s Thanksgiving plans!” yelled Jungkook from inside the kitchen.

“He woke me up at 7 am and stripped the sheets off my bed, emptied all our laundry bags, and locked me out of my room so that I wouldn’t dirty the bare mattress with my grubby clothes.” Taehyung’s grumbling was always extremely funny because he would end up pouting by the end of his rant and no one would take him seriously after that.

“Okay, the bread is in the oven and should be ready in about 15. Lamb chops are almost done as well. We’ll be dining in no time,” said Jungkook, flopping onto the couch beside you.

“That gives me enough time to answer the emails Choi sent me this morning. Jimin was right, she’s a madwoman. Doesn’t understand what ‘a break’ is , apparently,” sighed Taehyung, getting up and walking towards his room. “Lemme know when the food is ready.”

3 years ago, if anyone had told you that you would be more than halfway through your PhD having become close friends with seven of the most handsome guys on campus (or even in the country), you would’ve laughed at them and then silently questioned their sanity. But now, you couldn’t imagine life without them. Even Jungkook, you realised, glancing at the boy next to you. He had also become an extremely important part of your life. He didn’t say much, but his actions made things abundantly clear. He was extremely caring and thoughtful, even if he didn’t always have the right words to express himself. 

“What’re you thinking?” he asked, looking at you sleepily.

“That this soda is almost lukewarm.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m not.”

Suddenly, you felt a rough set of fingers poking your ribcage. Slowly, but surely, you were squirming in place as you struggled to not spill your soda while Jungkook continued tickling you mercilessly. 

“I know your weakness, remember?” he managed to say between giggles, his voice turning high-pitched as it usually did when he laughed too hard. 

“Gguk stop! The soda! It’ll spill on the carpet!” you gasped, trying to keep your hand steady.

“Oh shit! Sorry. Yeah, Jimin would freak out if he saw a stain on this carpet.” Jungkook let you go so that you could place the soda can on the nearest table. But as soon as you had freed your hands, you jumped on him and pinned him on the couch.

“I also know your weakness, Gguk,” you grinned, deviously, before tickling him with all your might. 

Needless to say, a scenario with two people in their mid-twenties behaving like 4 year olds, was bound to have certain consequences. In this case, it ended with both you and Jungkook falling off the couch, your faces mere inches away from each other. 

This wasn’t the first time you had been struck by how handsome Jungkook was. In fact, you had noticed the exact number of moles on his face and neck, having stopped yourself from reaching out and touching the one under his lower lip on more than one occasion. His large doe eyes also held a certain innocence and wonder in them, even though he was an extremely bright and capable PhD student with a lot of varied knowledge bases. Not just that, his impressive physique had caught you off guard many times. Particularly because it contrasted so heavily with his boyish face.

None of that mattered at this moment, as you could feel his breath on your face. He was so close… If you reached up a little bit, you would be-

“The oven timer’s been beeping for the last 10 minutes. But you both are too busy eye-fucking each other to notice.”

Taehyung’s deep voice caused you both to spring apart from each other, mortification heating up your face and neck. Jungkook’s ears, you noticed, had turned a very beautiful shade of red as well.

Dinner wasn’t as awkward as you expected because Yoongi dropped by a few minutes after your ‘eye-fucking’ session, extremely hungry and annoyed at Seokjin - who had decided to use this night to slow cook some pork.

“Gguk, this is really good,” said Yoongi, once all of you had finished eating. “Didn’t think you’d be able to get it right on the first go! Y/N, what’d you think? You’ve been awfully quiet the whole time.”

You nodded your head in response, keenly aware of Taehyung’s intense gaze that followed your every move. “It was really good, Gguk. Thanks for a lovely meal.”

“Do you need a ride home, Yoongi?” you asked, once all the dishes had been cleared away. “I’ve got my car.”

“Life-saver. I need to pick up a tin of coffee from the convenience store. I’ll meet you at the parking lot in 10?” said Yoongi slipping on his jacket.

“Wait, I’ll go with you. I need to buy some soda,” said Taehyung, springing up suddenly. Not bothering to change out of his slippers, he rushed out after Yoongi, but not before glancing quickly between you and Jungkook and sending you a rather outrageous wink.

“That was… weird,” you remarked, relieved to see that Jungkook had missed your exchange with Taehyung. “Anyway, thanks again for a great meal. You’re a really good cook, Gguk.”

“Thanks,” he said, not really looking up from his phone. He had also been rather silent throughout the meal.

“I’m heading out then. See you later, Gguk.” You picked up your bag and proceeded to open the door.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You turned around to find Jungkook standing rather close to you. You could see the mole below his lower lip quite clearly from here.

“You never told me what you were thinking about.” His voice was a lot more husky than usual, and you gulped as you realised you had no clue what to say to him.

“I-”

Before you could finish your half-formed sentence, Jungkook’s lips were on yours, kissing you slowly. After being frozen for a second or two, your hands made their way into his soft brown curls, relishing in the feeling of having him so close to you. You realised that you had been wanting to do this for a while now. Maybe even since the first day of classes, when he had offered you his cup of coffee after the machine in the department had stopped working. 

“Never mind,” he said, breaking the kiss with a soft ‘chu’. “You can tell me another time. Yoongi’s probably waiting at the parking lot.”

“And Tae might come back any minute now,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, a soft smile on his face. 

“Tomorrow?” It seemed like your brain had short circuited. 

“Yeah.” He dipped down and placed another chaste kiss on your mouth, before displaying his adorable bunny smile. “But even that seems too far away right now.”

You were really grateful that you managed to get both yourself and Yoongi home without crashing the car that night. Once you got home, you checked your phone and found two messages - a text from Jungkook checking if you had reached home safe, and another one from Taehyung.

T: the couch is off limits. don’t even think about it...

xxx

please do not repost anywhere. reblog if you enjoyed the story!

[jokerownsmysoul]

Imagine singing always the same song at home, humming while cleaning the house and under the shower. Arthur is used to hear this specific song in your mouth. So, when he becomes Joker and have to sleep alone some nights, he arranges to ear the song all night so he could sleep.

Omg this is the sweetest thinggg I’ve been melting since you send me this ask every time I read it, this is such a beautiful imagine 😭😭 also I’m so, so so sorry it took so long to respond omgg my brain is not cooperating with me these days lmaoo and I really wanted to write about this sweet prompt omg.

Word count: 971

That night Joker’s skin wasn’t just trembling from the cold outside, although the winter air seeped in from the open window was catching his skinny body in a painful grip. No. That night the tremor of his skin was caused by the grip your absence had left around him by floating in a cheap, lonely room, where his body wasn’t enveloped by the familiar warmth of your presence beside him, a presence that every night has always held him in his arms. Your legs entwined like underground roots of trees, your arms surrounding each other’s bodies and your breaths mixed into the other’s. 

Joker couldn’t remember the last time he was forced to sleep away from you, and at the exact moment when his tired body landed on the cold mattress of the motel bed, he realized that being away from you was one of the hardest things he had had to deal with in his life. Harder than any assault he went through, harder than any runaway he had been forced to cope when the cops were looking for him, harder than bear the weight carried by the name the city had given him by calling him the Clown Prince of Crime. Your souls were not made to live apart, let alone now that they have known what it means to have someone beside them, someone who keeps warm not only your bodies during a cold night, but also your souls in broad daylight each passing day.

Yet here he was, an enamoured man forced to leave his one and only person for a movement he never wanted to start, forced to spend the night in a cheap and abandoned motel without feeling the smell of your lips whenever you kiss the scar on his upper lip, without the silkiness of your hair tickling his hollowed cheeks, without your voice whispering lovely nothings in his ear and the soft tune you used to hum, giving his silent life a music on which to dance by following the rhythm of your voiceprints. Joker may wear a suit of a brighter red, his name may be found in the most wanted list and his life may be changed, but underneath the red tissue of his there was the porcelain skin of the same man who used to swing on his hips every time he heard the unmistakable tune slip out of your lips while you were doing laundry, whenever you washed dishes, took a shower or at night, to soothe his dreams darkened by his demons. 

In the depths of the night, while all the citizens of Gotham slept peaceful dreams and the lights of every building were turned off, letting the silence resonate in the alleys of the city in an oblivion, the deafening silence Joker was felting within him in not having you by his side would never have been able to be silenced by the much weaker silence imposed on the sleeper city. Joker never thought that silence could be so booming until he met you and your voice, which follow his walking upon earth like a soft melody in the background. 

Joker was laying on his right side; his body placed down along the double bed and his mind haunted by his own past failed to give him the dormant state he was so trying to get. The night was quiet and the only noises he could hear were the fizzy, wet sound of his own breath and an owl in the distance putting in music a lovesong of a man forced to live without the person he loved; yet, the silence that was permeating him was even more blinding because of your missed voice which on that night couldn’t accompany him in his spooky dreams. Joker felt like he was part of one of those legends about sailors trying to escape the enchanted sirens call. The sailors tried to escape their grip not by listening to their bewitched chant, but Joker, eager for your chant addictive as a drug, would have wanted to be completely enveloped by your voice, caught by your gills and carried into the deep abyss of the ocean by listening to your magic melody before being totally sucked by the sea, still held in your squamous and lovely arms.

His hand slipped smoothly along the bedsheet and with his eyes closed he imagined not feeling the cold of the mattress left unoccupied, but the warmth of your body still absorbed by your side of the bed even after you got up to make breakfast, leaving him asleep and trying to make him recover the hours of lost sleep due to insomnia. Your absence was the only palpable thing about you that Joker could feel at that moment, and as the moon shone bright on the surface of the bedroom and on the faded sheet, his hand touching nothing and his body still trembling and cold, he began to hum to himself the same soft tune that every day was the first sound he hears when he woke up, whenever you entered the bedroom waking him up between a kiss and delicate notes, and the last sound he heard before falling asleep, whenever you whispered in his ear those notes that woke him up that same morning, until he’d fell into a long sleep cradled in your lovely lullaby. 

His body was still trembling at his lack of you, and his eyes were tracing your features under his closed eyelids, imagining you were beside him. Yet, murmuring under his breath the sweet tune which tasted of your lips and sounded like your voice, Joker knew that you would have been beside him not through the body, but through the delicate music your soul made resound within his. Far away, but bound all the same.

[tyrantisterrorart]

Godzilla Gang Revised: Children of the A-Bomb

On this installment of the Godzilla Gang revised, we look at monsters made by atomic bomb tests and other experiments with nuclear power that occurred in the mid twentieth century - the first generation of modern atomic mutants, the children of the A-Bomb!

Ebirah: originally an ordinary sea shrimp, Ebirah was mutated by radioactive runoff from the secret base of the Red Bamboo, a terrorist organization responsible for many atrocities and abominations that plagued the world during the Age of Monsters.  They controlled the creature with Soma berry juice, placating it when their ships were nearby, while leaving it irritable and violent due to its need for a fix the rest of the time.  The crustacean was a good guardian for the wicked men, but eventually was disarmed (literally) by Godzilla II.  Ebirah eventually recovered from its addiction and regrew its claws, and was given a home on Solgell Island in the Monsterland Archipelago.

Okondoru: created from the same nuclear runoff that made Ebirah, Okondoru wasn’t quite as big as its crustacean counterpart, and was less easy to control as it wouldn’t eat any soma berry juice.  Luckily for the Red Bamboo, it was far less durable than most kaiju, allowing them to drive it off with conventional weapons whenever it started trouble.  The bird barely survived its scrape with Godzilla II, taking decades to lick its wounds before eventually finding a home on Skull Island in the Monsterland Archipelago.

Kamacuras: whether Kamacuras was a relic of the various prehistoric atomic ages is a matter of debate - the insect was already unnaturally large in the modern day before its exposure to man-made atomic energy, though this may have been a result of it sharing an island with the dormant but still radioactive egg of a Godzillasaurus.  Regardless, it did not become a full-fledged kaiju until human researchers tested an experimental nuclear device meant to control the weather, accidentally dousing the island’s athropods with mutation inducing radiation.  What once was a dangerous mob of man-sized carnivorous insects became an army and monstrous arthropods that were almost the same size as Godzilla.  Luckily, one of their natural predators grew as well, and the Kamacuras population was reduced to three female individuals before they could overrun the earth.

Kumonga: once a man-eating spider the size of an ox, Kumonga was already a terror before she was turned into a kaiju by a nuclear weather control device.  The massive arachnid feasted on the population of Kamacuras once she was gigantified, but despite dining on dozens of individuals she never stopped killing and eating.  The gluttonous beast finally met her match when Godzilla II came to rescue Minilla from her clutches, giving the spider a brutal beatdown that nearly claimed her life (though Kumonga gave nearly as good as she got).  The incident apparently made an impression, as Kumonga’s aggressive nature notably cooled quite a bit afterwards, and the arachnid now lives in relative peace with her fellow arthropod mutations on Solgell Island.

Gezora: one of a handful of sea monsters produced by American atomic bomb tests in the Pacific, Gezora was lured to Selgio Island by the psychic call of Yog, an amorphous alien from a distant and, according to him, extinct civilization.  Yog wished to wipe out all life on Earth, and tried to use Gezora to that end, though the cephalopod proved a failure once he forced it to clamber onto land, as Gezora quickly dried out and began to die.  Gezora managed to drag itself back into the ocean once Yog relinquished control of it, and was eventually given a home on Faro Island in the Monsterland Archipelago along with the other Yog survivors.

Ganimes: a massive crab, Ganimes was the second monster Yog took control of, and proved more successful than Gezora, as it was able to last on land far longer and also had the protection of an armored shell.  However, human forces on the island managed to defeat the monster by attacking its vulnerable eyes, blinding it and forcing Yog to get another kaiju slave while he waited fro Ganimes to recover.  The crab eventually escaped Yog’s clutches and made a home on Faro Island.

Kameba: the third and final monster Yog took control of, Kameba is a distant relative of the mata mata turtle, and fairly durable despite its small size (for a kaiju).  The turtle was the most successful of Yog’s enforcers, and came close to winning the day for its master once Ganimes recovered and was sent to back it up.  Luckily, humanity figured out how to kill Yog himself, breaking the two kaiju free of his control, at which point Kameba and Ganimes turned on each other.  Both survived their near-fatal battle, and Kameba went on to face Godzilla II himself in combat and (barely) live to tell the tale, before finally being placed on Faro Island to live in peace for the rest of his days.

Matango: the radioactive fungal colony named Matango initially stretched the definition of kaiju, as it would take a while for it to become a rampaging giant after its initial mutation.  However, at the height of its power, it was one of the largest monsters on record, engulfing nearly an entire island and infecting all of its plant and animal life.  Dozens of humans - sailors, castaways, explorers - became hosts to the monstrosity’s nefarious infestation, and it seemed the fiend would be free to consume whatever landed on its shores for decades to come.  However, in a stroke of macabre luck, the space monster Hedorah would make landfall on Matango’s island, killing most of the mushrooms with its toxic slime.  Those that survived mutated in response to Hedorah’s toxins, turning into a massive, shambling monstrosity that contained what remained of the consciousness of its human hosts.  This incarnation of Matango pursued Hedorah and fought the smog monster to a draw, and eventually both would be imprisoned on Selgio Island in the Monsterland Archipelago.  (If you’re wondering how I justify including Matango as a kaiju, it was a kaiju on Godzilla Island and in Godzilla: Monster of Monsters.)

Frankenstein’s Gargantua: the oldest child of the A-bomb, Frankenstein’s Gargantua is so named because it is a result of nazis trying to replicate the horrendous experiments in reanimation pioneered by Dr. Victor Frankenstein. They eventually brought their experiments to their allies in Japan in hopes of cracking Frankenstien’s secret, and the latest attempt at making a new Frankenstein monster was in the process of reanimating in Hiroshima when the Americans dropped an atomic bomb on the city.  Nearly two decades later, a colossal beast would be unleashed upon the world: the radioactive Gargantua of Dr. Frankenstein!  The mutant freak ran amok on the Japanese countryside before it was slain by the subterranean monster Baragon, though the combination of radioactive mutation and Dr. Frankenstein’s reanimating chemicals would ensure the horror was not quite over... 

Sanda: one of two sons of the original Gargantua, Sanda mutated from a piece of the original’s flesh that was torn off by Baragon during their battle in the forests of Japan.  He mutated further as a result of his tumultuous creation, gaining armored skin and a more muscular body than his lanky father.  The brown Gargantua grew up to be a relatively peaceful and benign creature, having a soft spot for humanity in particular.  Sadly, the same could not be said of his brother...

Gaira: born from blood spilled during the original Gargantua’s battle with an Oodako on the Japanese coast, Gaira the green gargantua was a vicious and bloodthirsty creature that viewed every other living being as prey, though he particularly enjoyed feasting on human beings above all else.  Sadistic and ill-tempered, the green gargantua embraced humanity’s enmity towards him, and was more befuddled than touched when his brown-furred brother leapt to his aid during humanity’s first attempt at killing him.  Though he allowed Sanda to tend to his wounds, Gaira eventually came to blows with his sibling when Sanda kept him from eating some humans that had come to check on them, and the two battled for hours before a volcanic eruption appeared to claim both of their lives.  Decades later both monsters (or perhaps their regenerated descendants) would reappear, and eventually they were given homes on Skull Island, where Kong himself would keep their rivalry (and Gaira’s hunger for human flesh) in check.

NEXT TIME ON THE GODZILLA GANG REVISED: Children of the H-Bomb!

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, PHOEBE! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF SALOME.

Admin Rosey: This was incredibly difficult. Both applications were stunning and shined in the limelight - but there were these small details, Phoebe, that you included that had us absolutely captivated. Salome, I think, is a difficult character to encompass so wholly while not overlooking the details. But you managed to do that, to tie her all together while not putting her in a package. The application was such a joy to read from beginning to end - the way that you tied so many different characters into her, into her future. It was an absolute thrill to read because I was able to see so much while still being tantalized by possibilities. I can’t wait to see how Salome shines on the dash! Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Phoebe

Age | 22

Personal Pronouns | She/her

Activity Level | Pretty active (6/10?) due to a national lockdown, but I’m a postgrad student so some days are busier than others.

Timezone | GMT

Triggers | REMOVED

How did you find the group?  | I check out the ‘new rpg’ tag a few times a year & your graphics and then everything drew me in

Current/Past RP Accounts | Masha Vetrova @ ProchnostRPG

IN CHARACTER

Character | SALOME

What drew you to this character? |  Typically I tend to go for characters who have a fundamental moral alignment of ‘good’ (even if it’s been a bit corrupted) so at first I was really drawn to Gabriel/Abaddon/Isolde. I even brainstormed them a bit before moving onto the demon bios.

But then I read Salome’s bio, and I really couldn’t get her out of my mind. There is something so delicious about her, so dastardly poetic. In a way, she’s as pure of heart as many morally good characters - patient, steadfast, true to herself. It’s just that her heart is a blackened one. A nature so rotted that even eternal damnation in Hell’s Abyss was not enough. The only fitting destiny was a demonic one, and the wings tore out of her body as if they’d been there, dormant, all along.

I know the story of Salome (thanks Oscar Wilde) & I just adore the way in which the bio weaves the biblical story into this world and this character. Salome the Temptress, unflinching as she demands the head of John the Baptist and damns all around her to Hell. This one line in particular from Rosey really, really captured it all for me:

No, the minute her mortal heart stopped beating and she opened her eyes to the fires of Hell, there was only laughter to be heard – pouring from her lips as melodic as a lark’s song, a stark contrast to the wailing and grinding of teeth.

Salome feels young and charming and spoiled and light and warm and content and this image - her descending into Hell, disrupting it with her peals of laughter - sums it all up. She is arrogant and uninhibited with her sins plain for all to see. But she is also clever. She is a girl who dances with the dead; demon through and through. She lets them openly see it so that they do not think to look closer. For if they did, surely they would see Salome was more damned than they’d ever envisioned? See that the open delight she projects - the laughter and fevered dancing, - all distract from a mind capable of cold, calm strategy? See that her hands are beautiful because they are stained with the first blood of this new world?

…All of which is to say that Salome the Temptress has worked that tempting magic of hers on me too - hook, line and sinker.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | If it serves your guys’ plotting vision then absolutely! I’d just ask to write the death scene/have some say in the way it went down. (The person killing her off better be prepared for the fight of their lives).

FUTURE PLOT IDEAS

• (small) PLEASURES •

Grand plans and power grabs are all very well, but day to day (on the dash lol) Salome is ruled by small pleasures and indulgences. What was the point of forging this new world if not to luxuriate in it?

01. I’m very curious to see how her relations with all the other demons play out. Salome is by and large a solitary creature - the natural result of her arrogance - but I think there are some demons she favours more than others. I could see a potential friendship (or the lesser version of that bond) with ORIAS, for one. There were those who saw something akin to witchcraft in Salome too. There had been envy, when Orias was hailed the Original Witch, but even Salome has come to recognise the ungodly power that resides in them. They are one of the only creatures that Salome has any real respect for. She understands that there is value to learn in what Orias can teach.They call them the false prophet - it seems poetic that Salome is drawn to her. (So ! Much ! Potential ! Witchy ! Power !)

02. So too can I imagine Salome having a particular curiosity towards MAMMON. Hungry and dark and empty, Mammon is probably Salome’s demonic ideal. With mortal origins herself, they represent a different kind of demon – one she thinks is utterly beautiful. Their future ambitions could align, both with a deep, aching appetites, but I can also see her purely enjoying the unique company of them. Salome does not treat her ability with any real respect or caution; she sees the dead as a game. think she’d genuinely delight in Mammon mimicking her gift and the amusements that could follow. (Ok not to say I’m suggesting deal body party games but it’s very that)

03. Salome gets equal pleasure (if not a great deal more) from less-than-friendly relations. She pushes purely because other people’s irritation amuses her. I think her relationship with AZAZEL in particular could be very, very fun. Of all the demons, I can see Salome having a particularly petty dislike / jealousy of Azazel for a few many reasons.. A) they are both products of indulgence, daughters of parents (literally and figuratively) who spoiled them rotten. Similarities repel and all that. B) Azazel is part of the de facto royal family, favoured by JUDAS.. and DAMIEN .. and ABADDON .. and Salome has not ever handled that well. She watched on as they, along with the rest of hell, fell for her and thus a time-old grudge was born. C) Azazel forms part of the Holy Land’s rulership. A land that was won because of Salome (in her mind) and one she feels has rights of ownership too. I imagine that Salome genuinely despises that the role was given to Azazel of all demons. I - I just sense so many great opportunities for both bickering and battling.

04. Salome draws great pleasure from her own magnetism. Devotion has followed her throughout the stages of her life, but it too has come to wax and wane. It is there in BASTIEN though, and it’s one of the connections I’m most excited for. He satisfies her addiction, and in return she is both doting and cruel. There is some value in him politically, bu it’i more of a .. personal connection. That could change though. Or, perhaps a genuine fondness might develop, in the same way that other celestial beings seem to be fond of their animal companions. A muted form of possessiveness over his gaze and his wonderment (which may well manifest in Salome having a particular resentment towards EVANGELINE) . If he were to share out his devotion, or if it was curtailed by any harm coming to Bastien himself, Salome would not be happy. Perhaps his attentions have come to somewhat satiate her appetite and tentatively restrains her darkest needs - a fact that neither of them have realised. (!!!!!)

• (medium) OPPORTUNITIES •

05. There are some things she keeps to herself - at least for now. There’s a lot of potential for self-paras or connections with the wider RP plot. To me, Salome has something akin to true addiction inside of her. It was there from the moment of her mortal birth, and it worsened with each hit. Essentially, I think an inescapable plot point is that Salome is a lil’ bit bloodthirsty. I think this would largely be developed through my own musings and mortals who are just ‘extras’ to this RP, but I’d love to deal with the intricacies of Salome having to cover this habit. Maybe she continues to use others as scapegoats; maybe she chooses her victims with careful attention so that they go unnoticed; maybe she does it in such a way that implies the presence of a beast or daemonium.

( In fact, the concept of the DAEMONIUM is verrrrrrrrrry intriguing. Creates who inhabit corpses and do nothing but feed their hunger? Sounds like a character I know. This is a potential plot point that relies on your guys’ vision and some collaborative world-building, but I think there is definitely exciting potential to explore these creatures through Salome. Imagine the carnage of her trying (successfully or unsuccessfully) to out-possess them.)

06. I think Salome would take any opportunity to poison Infernum’s highest-ranking. This isn’t so much be her political ‘end-goal’, but an opportunity for some real entertainment. It would be a game, try and crack the kinship that exists among  AZAZEL, JUDAS, DAMIEN and ABADDON; injecting a few words here, a few doubts there, and see if their loyalty lasts.. She knows Judas from a past life and has watched him oh so carefully overtheir many entwined centuries - I imagine she is a gnat to him, pushing all the right (and thus wrong) buttons. It would a sport to try and make his familial dynasty crumble. Perhaps she might attempt this by throwing doubt on to Abaddon in particular, whose aura contains a flatness that Salome cannot read. Salome doesn’t know of the goodness that lies in her, but perhaps she might find out. Regardless, I think Salome’s worst imaginable fate would be being locked in the Black Cells, unable to dance and revel in the world, so she harbours dislike for Abaddon anyway…

07. EPHEMERA is an opportunity that Salome had not anticipated. And let me tell you, boy do I adore this connection. It strikes me as a true clashing of teeth and spirits, but not as simple as one born from pure malice or hatred. Salome feels many things towards Ephemera, but she certainly doesn’t hate her - even if the ferocity between them implies otherwise sometimes. There’s a thin line between love and hate, as they say, though perhaps neither of those terms sum up Salome an Ephemera. It seems to be pure passion and temptation. I can’t say where this could lead without the thoughts of a possible Ephemera writer, but I’m sure it will be nothing short of explosive. I think this connection is the most Salome has ever felt towards another being, and that in itself is curious to her.

• (great) AMBITIONS •

The possible destinies of Salome. The following are all ways in which her story could play out, and all of them are quite dramatic. Who’s afraid of the big, bad plots….

08. Infernum technically has no throne. In order to thus claim it, perhaps one first has to be built? Salome would have no qualms choosing a side in another demonic cvil war. Why, if DAMIEN were to stake the claim of his birthright against JUDAS, he could count on Salome for support. If Judas were to live up to his title and betray the antichrist, he could count on Salome for support - if he got there before the other. Salome will happily help them consolidate a throne through bloodshed and betrayal. In fact, it will be her pleasure.

For through it all, Salome will be the demon who has thought to use MICHAEL. They are insufferable and righteous and (quite literally) archangel incarnate - really, if she had the chance, she knows that their blood would be the most utterly divine to spill - but they are useful. Undeniably powerful. Salome knows she must be careful here, but she enjoys the undisguised exasperation on their face. As if they have not yet thought to recognise the ambition that lies in both of them. If they helped her ascend to the throne of Infurnem, she would be a far more acquiescent to Caelum’s interests than the current leadership. Why? Because Salome would not act - would not even pretend to act - on behalf of demonic interests. If the best chance of her claiming ownership of the world depended on sharing it with Michael, then perhaps she would be willing.

09. But power can manifest in more than one way. She could follow such dreams, or she could become the world’s nightmares. And wouldn’t that be more indulgent? Where others hold power or peace as their prime ambition, Salome would get equal pleasure from the simple decay of all things. The world could rot and she would laugh - the dead are often better company than the living. Ultimately Salome would start another war without hesitation; she would sacrifice everything and everyone for the beautiful carnage of utter destruction. It had been so easy with the War of the Last Rites, but she had been disappointed when it ended in peace. That will not happen again; she will be ready next time. When all factions are suitably engaged, she will raise her own force and strike them all down together. — Such are her thoughts anyway. Thoughts that started developing when she met RYUK. To her, the power Ryuk holds is breathtaking. There is no other ability she desires quite as much. For if she were to contain both of their powers within herself, she would have dominion over a force so great that no living creature - mortal or immortal - could ever hope to defeat. The dead. It is a delicate strategy, but she has the patience for it. And if there was any who would spill the blood of a horseman just to see what happened, then it would surely be Salome.

10. Where there are mortals, there is faith. The relationship between Salome and the faith of the HUNDRED-EYED GOD intrigues me. In her mortal life, faith was an amusement. Its believers has been her playthings - perhaps they are again in this world. ISOLDE is as all prophets are; tempting. I think that Salome could potentially decide to join the faith – or give the impression to do so. Such a deceit would be fun and far from difficult - already she joins in on their rituals, her feet unable to stay away from any form of rhythmic movement, even ones more gentle than her usual tastes. A demon of relative influence, perhaps her faith would be welcomed amongst those most holy, perceived as a positive development in the faith’s recruitment. Perhaps she finds a currently unknown fellowship in the form of ESTIENNE, whose manipulation of the shadows surely speaks of some rot in his heart.

And all for one simple reason. Where there is faith, there are the faithful. Where there is the faithful, there is the potential for bloodshed so rich - so intoxicating - that she would play this long, patient game just to taste a singular drop. She has never been able to recreate the electrification of that first diabolical deed, when she claimed a saint’s head as her prize. She had danced and damned and thirsted ever since; the blood of an ALL-SEEING PRIESTESS might just quench such a need.

• (potential) DOWNFALLS •

Ah, but all of the above are just potential ideas. It is just as likely that Salome would be subject to some downfalls and some .. rude awakenings. I adore the fact that both MICHAEL and RYUK have such different perceptions of their connections. They are both far smarter than she gives credit. Michael is, ultimately, more powerful than Salome on more ways than one - they will surely outplay her as they have everyone, though she might be of some use to them too. In Ryuk, Salome has started a war she might live to regret - one she hasn’t even realised she’s fighting. She has perhaps been a little naive here, and it will be quite something when she realises.

There are other possible connections that could prove Salome’s downfall – or at least a be a hindrance. In my mind, it is GABRIEL, ZADKIEL and CAPHRIEL that she is most weary of. They each have a light to them that she does not care for, along with the arrogance present in all angels. I say in the following section that Salome has no fears; they represent the closest thing she has to possible concerns. I don’t think she yet knows any of them particularly well outside of the War, but she has thought of their powers. The latter two in particular harbour gifts that could, potentially, expose Salome, and thus she has developed a specific distaste for them. And of course, she probably finds them particularly fun to antagonise.

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation | [TW: Implied suicide in section I ]

I think a large part of my attraction to Salome is that she isn’t really driven by an external force. Partly she is driven by the deep appetite within her (which I’ve mentioned more in other parts of this application) but I also think her motivations stem from her own intrinsic nature; she is pushed by her own heart towards ambitions that are mere extensions of her character. I think there are three central aspects of her character that best explain her motivations and actions: a complete lack of fear, an overwhelming self-adoration and a deep, petulant intolerance of monotony. Together, they’ve created a woman - a demon - amply motivated to do any of the above listed plot ideas.. One who simply does as she wants for no reason other than want itself. Below I’ve given three early examples (set in BP) of these traits taking root (and rot):

I • For what use is fear to those who are damned?

It was said that Jesus’ tomb lay empty. Through the wind Salome heard whispers of women who’d gone to mourn and found nothing - only stone and airwhere a pierced and bloodied body should have lain. It seemed the proclaimed child of God had evaded corporeal death yet again; that the words of the old, tiresome preacher whose head she once cradled had proved true. Their claims and their preachings were not false as her father had accused - but really, had not Salome always known that? Was it not she who had delivered John’s salvation, cast him up to his venerated Heaven? And as it happened - as both the head and the soul of John his body - had not she felt her own moment of pure, divine bliss?

It brought clarity; there was no hesitation in her now. She stood alone, looking out upon the depths of the Galilee Sea with an unconfined grin spread wide upon her face. She had known, always known, that the boredom of this life was only temporary. The adoration she received on earth had grown dull, she sought new, greater opportunities for her talents. There had existed a deep craving inside for as long as she could remember, one that had become increasingly difficult to satiate. It told her that her destiny lay outside of Heaven, that both the prophet and her father the king had been right to look upon her with fear. For if John and Jesus had ascended upwards, could she not leap down into her own descent? The idea of it felt so simple, so natural, so potentially powerful. Neither death nor the the promise of damnation brought her anything but intrigue. She thought of the wicked and the cruel, of the infernal depths to which she was bound, and felt only satisfied.

Mortal though she was, Salome was not afraid. Why should she fear her own destiny? Why should she fear for those she left behind? Fear had no place in a heart without hope. With a simple step, she threw herself into the icy water and waited to reach the blackest depths below.

II • For what use is love to those who are satisfied?

Where there was Salome there was laughter - her own, that was - sharp, loud and melodic. When she first opened her mouth it had sliced through Hell and turned all of its eyes onto her. Rightly so, for she she had laughed as she’d evaded Abaddon’s grasp, clawing herself out of the Abyss of mortal souls and claiming a rightful place in the depths of Hell. The Morningstar, sat above all, had not yet even spoken when Salome had started to dance.

She could feel Hell’s eyes on her, and what better way to greet such attentions than with that she did best. She had reaped rich rewards for it before, and she would do so again. A fleeting glance at her naked body showed her this realm had not dulled her beauty but made magnified it, her skin aglow with the fiery light of hellfire. And so Salome danced, feverishly but deliberately, losing herself in the spirit of the moment. What could anyone do but simply bask in the splendor of her new existence? As she raised her arms above her head, a pair of wings cut through her flesh and slowly tore out of her. Iridescent, they unfurled as if they too had felt the call of her movement.

A feast of celebration had followed. Salome could only laugh in delight as she looked upon demonic faces of adoration, gazes more alike than different to those she had received on earth. Seated at the left-hand of Lucifer himself, she had slotted into the natural order of Hell as if it had been her descent that had been prophesied on earth. How many in Hell, with all its angelic origins, had the blood of a true holy man on their hands? Perhaps just herself – and, she supposed, the man sat to the right of the Prince. Judas Iscariot. The Great Betrayer. A man she had known of in her mortality, a follower who’d wrought a downfall more entertaining than any Salome had otherwise witnessed. He looked on at her with a hard glint in his eyes and she merely smiled back - for Salome understood why. Here she was, a fellow mortal in Hell with infernal wings protruding from her back where Judas had none. It all made such perfect sense; Salome was truly different. Truly transcendent. Made and marked by forces darker then most of Hell could stand. In that moment (and all moments thereafter), Salome was acutely aware of the true power that resided within her, spilling out through her beauty, allure and wretched talents. Why, she was utterly glorious.

III • For what use is peace to those who are bored?

Eternity stretched out in front of her; memories of the wouldn’t fade. Of all the differences between immortal and mortal existence, it was only the nature of time that had ever frustrated her. To Salome, the centuries had passed by in both unfathomable speed and agonising monotony, the linearity of earth dead and gone. It seemed that in the face of an infinite future, even Hell could drag. It operated in a stasis that had begun to suffocate her and, gradually, had awakened once again an appetite that had only been temporally satiated. Lucifer dictated balance and moderation where Salome saw no reason for restraint. He had given her duties like none earth had ever dared, and she didn’t care to fulfil them. She had even grown tired of her puppetry, tired of dancing amongst such frustratingly passive bodies. There was, in a place of corruption, nobody left to actually corrupt; no opportunity to taste innocent or holy blood.

Over time she came to sense the quiet seeds of unrest in Hell, and she was gladdened by them. Once again a wicked smile graced her face, once again she twirled around the pits of Hell in anticipation. There was no better cure for boredom than chaos, and once she’d caught the scent of it her hunt could not be stopped. It had proven easy to have the whispers diverted and delivered to her ears - so many were under her spell, either terrified or infatuated. So Salome came to learn of plans of razing Hell against its master, ripping through worldly divides and claiming the earth she once lived on. At last - she could have wept from delight. And most entertaining of all, Salome had snatched the dice into her her hands.

How easy it would be to join the dissenters, to war with them against the order of Hell that had shackled her. How tempting it was, to dash their plans by raising her own blade to the Morningstar and plunging the world into carnage without warning. How fun, the thought of taking all she knew to Lucifer and laughing as he rained down revenge on the demons he had been foolish enough to trust. Impatient with monotony; patient in the face of action. Salome did not yet know what she would do, and she found utter delight in the potential of it all.

PARA SAMPLE

The Holy Land was not suited to revelry. It lacked the vitalityand decadent excessthat a true celebration required. And really, wasn’t this her domain? Nobody got more unadulterated pleasure from a celebration than Salome - she doubted that even the festivities of the Stygian Moon would be of renown without her inputs. This particular affair was proving even more tiresome than she’d foreseen. Every year she stands under the Triune Moon and watches as solemn vows are sworn; every year she wonders why they could not just be done so in private, sparing them all this tedium. She had said as much to Damien before as they had departed the comforts of the Black Palace, and had received little more than a scowl in response. But she knows her point has more merit than they’d care to admit. How long before these promises of harmony are exposed as a farce? At least that year promises some true entertainment.

Salome thinks all this as she watches the stage in front of her, eyes lazily switching between the three figures who stand upon it. The Sun, the Moon, the Stars; every pair of eyes in the sweeping crowd are trained on them. Salome can feel them. Or rather, she can’t feel the usual warmth of infatuated gazes on her own skin. Here she stood amongst hoards of mortals and beings more lowly than herself, and none were paying her their usual bouts of attention. The only thing that prevented a quiet tantrum was the knowledge that she was far from alone in feeling this agitation. Her stare flickered from the stage towards the figures of both Michael and Judas, and she could not help but smile. To eyes that had repeatedly examined them over centuries, the rigidity of their bodies betrayed them. She was far from the only one who felt the absence of centrality, and that, at least, brought her some pleasure.

Still, she only has so much patience for ceremonies not directed at her.  Yet no sooner did she shift to exit the crowd than did words delivered on the stage give her pause. Azazel’s voice, suitably haughty, repeating the typical sentiments of the Holy Land. This was the ‘Age of Peace’, Salome hears her say. Only the ‘cooperation of all factions and the formation of the tridium’ had rendered them ‘triumphant against the heretics who would cast all into darkness.’ This time she cannot hold in the delicate laugh that ripples through her. If only the annual repetition of such statements made them true. If only they knew of the true origins of the War that brought this so-called peace, of where the credit should rightfully lie. Though she knows it would be foolish - more than foolish - Salome can think of nothing but how simple it would be to stand above all and confess. She’d let them savour the details of her sins and her glories. She would laugh as they wilted under the weight of her revelations.

‘I’ve never seen you look so engrossed off of the battlefield.’

Her imaginings are cut off by quiet words from behind her. She needs not turn to identify the voice of Ephemera, familiar as it has come to be. Salome had, of course, seen her across the crowd - when did her eyes start to automatically seek her out so? - but marked her presence as an occupation for later. That Ephemera sought her out first is not necessarily unexpected, but certainly thrilling. There is no other presence that can so easily bring Salome out of a petulant mood, just as there is no other who can so easily put her in one. But she has found that where there is Ephemera, there is entertainment to be had.

“You have not seen me do many things,” she replies easily, as if they had long been having this conversation, “though I do believe I’ve offered.” And she has, more than once, tried to entice her with offers of dancing and hunting and enjoying all the vices of the world they fought for. She turns her head slowly to meet the watchful gaze of her once fighting-partner, a smirk on her lips as she widens her eyes in faux-innocence. They are two alike; mortals once but mortals no more, the first of their kinds. She knows Ephemera will not rise to her bait within the presence of other Angels, which only heightens her simpering expression. Salome has no such qualms about the thoughts of her own kin; their talk excites her, their gossip only confirms how many pay her heed. She has found no simpler joy than that of walking into the Black Palace and leaving excited whispers in her wake.

“I’m sure you’ll agree that celebrating won wars is less fun than waging them’, she continues, amusement ringing clear through her voice as she returned her gage purposefully to the stage. “I asked Azazel if she might add some zeal - perhapsmake those hounds do some tricks - but she seems to have ignored my good wishes”. Salome can feel the rolling of Angelic eyes next to her without even looking. It was so easy, so predictable, and yet anything but boring. That was the real curiosity of Ephemera, so easy to reel in and yet so resistant to truly jumping off the edge. She seemed halfway caught between accepting Salome’s allure and running from it, and the resistance only increased her desire. “Though your one is the more dull, I believe. So earnest - it’s quite exhausting.”

It is clear that Ephemera is acting advisor and strategist rather than - what? Friend? Enemy? Something in between? - whichraised the question as to why she had approached her in the first place. She thinks to ask, but when she opens her mouth to do so the crowd erupts in an applause more loud than she thinks the show was worthy of. Still, she brings her own hands together for the sheer relief that it is finally over. Her feet ache from standing bored for so long, her wings want to stretch open and wide. She wonders if a large enough quantity of alcohol might loosen Ephemera a little, but when she turns to declare this she finds that her companion has disappeared in the movement of so many people. A pity, but no real matter. She has never needed the company of others to create her own sport.

EXTRAS

[ My (WIP) pinterest for Salome can be found here. ]

Salome keeps no animal companion, for she has never felt much love for the nature of the earth. She finds it amusing that some Angels and Demons belittle themselves by keeping one. However, it is not an uncommon sight to see Salome walking with crows flying above her. Only on closer inspection would one realise those animals are but corpses, a puppetry Salome (alone) finds humorous.

Like all parts of herself, she harbours great love for her wings, and not only for the damnation that they represent. They are formed of what resembles a netting of fine, golden spider’s web. They seem to constantly change in the light, appearing to be more transparent than they are solid. Regal and beautiful, they are as Salome sees herself.

She is a fierce fighter and a connoisseur of bloodshed. Her weapon of choice is a trailing point blade, forged on the day of her arrival in Hell. She uses it exclusively for more.. intimate situations, and favours instead a simple longsword on the battlefield. She is however, proficient with most weaponry, as the corpses she can make fight use the same weapons they died wielding against her.

Though Infernum is the home she helped carve out, Salome spends a great deal of time in Sanctus Terra and travels to Caelum whenever the opportunity presents itself. Both locations amplify an itch deep within her soul, worsening her desire and thereby bringing greater satisfaction when she finally acts on the urge. She has not spilled any angelic blood in Caelum, though the temptation is strong, for she knows Michael has become astute to her presence. She has left a fair few victims in Sanctus Terra, a pursuit which has become less satisfying overtime. Still, Salome is careful. For all their talk of kinship, she is not sure that her fellow demons would refrain from locking her in the Black Cells if they had just cause.

[ aaaaaaand I leave you with the last verse of ‘Salome’, a poem by Mary Lamb. I honestly can’t describe it as anything over then *chef’s kiss*. I don’t know if Rosey read this when she was writing Salome’s bio, but I thought the writing style and tone and vibe and all beautifully mirrored each other?? Stunning. On that note, regardless of whether of not you think I’m right for Salome, thank you for the obvious amount of time/thought you’ve all put into this because it’s been really (really) fun to explore. ]

When painters would by art express Beauty in unloveliness, Thee, Herodias’ daughter, thee, They fittest subject take to be. They give thy form and features grace; But ever in they beauteous face They shew a steadfast cruel gaze, An eye unpitying; and amaze In all beholders deep they mark, That thou betrayest not one spark Of feeling for the ruthless deed, That did thy praiseful dance succeed. For on the head they make you look, As if a sullen joy you took, A cruel triumph, wicked pride, That for your sport a saint had died.

[waywardmaslow]

https://screenrant.com/supernatural-sam-winchester-biggest-problems-fans-ignore/

Just my thoughts on the items on this list:

20) “He’d be happier if he wasn’t a hunter.” Sam only resented the hunting life while he was growing up. His return to hunting after his time at Standford was not forced, but by choice. He’s always wanted to get out and live a normal life, we see that mentioned in the earlier seasons, and I believe a part of him will always want that, but in the later seasons of the show it’s become clear that Sam has accepted that’s a life he’ll never be able to have.

19) “He keeps getting resurrected.” That’s hardly a problem. If Sam was killed and never brought back, that’d be the end of the show. And since resurrections are never without a significant risk/price to pay–like Dean selling his soul to save Sam–the stakes are most definitely still real.

18) “The ‘Special Children’.” Azazel’s plan for his “special children” not making sense is more of a plot hole than a problem with Sam. As for “Lucifer never went through with that plan,” he never had the chance to, all the “special children” aside from Sam were dead long before he was released. Unless you’re saying that because you think Azazel was following orders from Lucifer when he rounded up the “special children” in that ghost town and pitted them against each other.

17) “When he didn’t sacrifice himself for Dean.” Sam didn’t know Dean was in Purgatory/somewhere he could be saved from. He thought Dean was dead, like actually dead, heaven or hell dead. And if that had been true, Dean wouldn’t have wanted Sam to try to bring him back. While Dean was “somewhat justifiably” upset that Sam didn’t look for him and try to bring him back, I must point out that he would’ve been upset with Sam no matter what he did. If Sam had looked for Dean and tried to save him, getting him back from Purgatory wouldn’t have been without a major risk, one Dean definitely would’ve been upset with him for taking.

16) “His relationship with Ruby.” Sam is smart, but he is also someone who knows the world isn’t all black and white. He sees the shades of grey and knows it’s not what you are, it’s what you do that matters. Not all “monsters” are evil. He believed he saw some good in Ruby, but of course that didn’t mean Sam trusted her right off the bat, he was just using her. He told Dean that in season 3. Then at the beginning of season 4, he told Ruby he wasn’t sure if he trusted her; he just knew he was doing good things with the powers she was showing him how to use, he was saving people. So I think it was more trusting those results, believing in the good he was doing, than trusting her. And then it was depending on her for the demon blood that he believed he needed to be strong enough to take down Lilith, but had become addicted to. Also, it’s worth mentioning, she didn’t really get her hooks in Sam till Dean was in hell, when Sam was at his lowest and far from sober.

15) “He ended Dean’s daughter.” Ok what is it with you and other fans trying to make Emma more significant than she really was, make Sam killing her a bigger deal than it was? I’d guess you’re Dean girls reaching for something to dislike Sam for, but I’ve even seen a(n alleged) Sam girl try to play up Emma’s importance. As if she was supposed to mean anything more to us than just another MOTW, as if Dean felt anything more for her than responsibility. She was an Amazonian woman who wanted to kill Dean. End of story. Even Dean himself, at the end of the episode, called her a crazy man-killing monster. She may have been Dean’s daughter biologically, but she wasn’t family. Remember “Family don’t end with blood, but it doesn’t start there either,” and “Just because you’re blood, doesn’t mean you’re family; you have to earn that.”

14) “Drinking demon blood.” Drinking demon blood wasn’t something Sam was comfortable with at first, but he eventually accepted it as a means to an end, to being strong enough to kill Lilith. Something he was hell bent on doing. Sam’s not dumb, he knew it was risky, that’s why he was trying his best to be careful and not take it too far. I think what pushed him over the edge into addiction was the amount of blood he felt he had to consume in order to save Dean from Allistair. Allistair was the same kind of demon as Lilith, with white eyes, and just as strong. In prepping to take him down, Sam would’ve drunk more blood than he had been before. Sam felt Dean’s life was in danger and we all know he’d do anything to save Dean from getting killed.

13) “His demonic powers.” I don’t really see that as a problem, aside from the resulting demon blood addiction, since he was using those powers to save people. Drinking demon blood didn’t give him those powers, it just made them stronger. Sam had the powers already due to the demon blood already in his system, no thanks to Azazel, he just had to be taught how to use them. And although his powers were significantly drained/weakened in killing Lilith, it’s likely they’re still there lying dormant beneath the surface. Sam has just chosen not to use them anymore because even though he liked the effectiveness of saving people that way, he no longer trusts that part of himself. To be fair, though, it’s also possible Sam himself believes his powers are gone, but he wouldn’t know for sure unless he tried to use them and he hasn’t.

11) “He started the apocalypse.” While you try to paint Sam as less smart than the show leads us to believe, allow me to remind you that he wasn’t the only one who believed killing Lilith would prevent the apocalypse, Dean and Bobby believed it too. So much so that they were all for finding a way to kill Lilith themselves so Sam wouldn’t have to do it with his powers. Dean did eventually find out the truth about the final seal, but that wasn’t until the last minute so that’s hardly relevant. Their intel on the matter may have come from a demon, but the logic behind it was sound(when you ignore the fact that Ruby wasn’t being totally honest about what the final seal was) and you know it. Hell, I still stand by the belief that killing Lilith would’ve prevented the apocalypse, they just had to get to her before the other seals were broken. That would explain why Ruby would disappear for periods of time and constantly tell Sam he wasn’t ready/strong enough to take on Lilith, even though after it was all said and done she told him he “never needed the feather to fly.” She was stalling.

8) “He’s the only Winchester who hasn’t made a deal with a demon.” So what? That’s actually a good thing, though he still ended up spending time in hell. He did try to make a deal though, to save Dean from hell, but no demon would deal.

7) “He was stronger than Lucifer.” Sam being able to overpower Lucifer and recover control of his body isn’t as implausible as it may seem. Especially given the demon blood in his veins, as well as the multiple gallons of demon blood that he drank just before letting Lucifer in and how strong/powerful that would’ve made him. That’s not to say he was actually stronger than Lucifer, just strong enough to get control back for long enough to open the cage and throw himself in.

5) “He recovered from the cage way too fast.” Sam may have recovered from worst of the PTSD(the hallucinations and resulting insomnia) within one season–because of Cas shifting the burden onto himself–but his memories of the cage do still bother him to this day. In fact, the memory of seeing Lucifer’s true face still keeps Sam up at night. His PTSD from the cage doesn’t get the attention it did in season 7, but it is still there.

4) “Soulless Sam.” Just because it hadn’t been a thing on the show before, doesn’t mean it could never be a thing on the show. Also, the concept of being soulless did get explored again; both in season 9(with Abbadon having souls harvested to create a demon army) and in season 11(with Amara consuming souls). Hell, we still have a soulless character on the show today: Donatello!

3) “He has no friends of his own.” Yeah, it’s true most of the brothers’ friends are closer with Dean, but they do care about Sam and have his back. It’s not as if he’d have no one to turn to if he left the hunting life/went off on his own.

2) “He likes 80s hair metal.” And that’s a problem? Sam’s allowed to have a different music taste than Dean. It’s not a bad thing.

[queernuck]

Long-Term Memory: 9/11 as Absolute Event in America, 2019

There is a genuine element of humor, of ironic mirroring, in how the Democrats in North Carolina were fooled by members of the GOP into attending a 9/11 Memorial so that they could push through legislation they did not have the numbers to push through normally, that would have been impossible for them to pass with all members of the legislature present. It relies on looking at how Democrats behave in relation to Republican policy, ideology, and exactly what the Democrats have done in the decade-and-change since Bush.

Calls for blood, the feeling of righteous fury and the ideological flattening that took place in the days following 9/11 is one of the most important moments in contemporary American politics, because it not only presents an example of American ideology in itself, but because of how it has shaped the territory of politics since, the field of American discourse and exactly what acceptable suggestions are, what they encompass. Baudrillard’s discussion of the suicidal towers, of the Absolute Event that occurred on 9/11 is a phenomenal means of understanding as much when taken with the ideology that allowed the attacks to happen, that brought them on, invited, almost begged for them: it was entirely foreseeable, that the information to stop such a plot was not shared is, as it turns out, largely due to bickering between the CIA and FBI over their own roles in maintaining the American War Machine, what kinds of organs within the body of such a machine they constitute. The Machine in question could hardly have imagined what occurred next, and as Baudrillard points out, the Hijackers hardly could have, either. Their plan, at a fundamental level, lacks some closure: the crash of Flight 93 denotes an open question, is a failure of completion. An expectation of enormous violence and destruction was present, as in the attack on the Pentagon, which is an often-forgotten aspect of the attacks (in part because it functions most directly as an artifice of state power, of American imperialist violence and denying this is denying its very character) and will never match the image of those towers falling. 

And fall they did: this was an Absolute Event because its singularity, its scale, was unprecedented, the conceptualization of death within the West is in no way capable of grasping such an Event. After all, America still finds itself unable to contend with Katrina over a decade afterwards, except as part of processes of reterritorialization, ignorance as an aesthetic on the part of gentrifiers buying up cheap land and houses that were abandoned, houses that served as final resting places, stained with water and blood alike. Being forced to contend with this sudden collapse, a literally unprecedented Event, the collapse of two towers and thousands of deaths in a day, that collapse provided an unquestionable excuse to move forward, to dictate what goals policy must accomplish.

While protests occurred, it was not until the Iraq War, the questioning and confusion, the shaky pretenses and the strangeness of a continuing occupation in Afghanistan that the Anti-War movement in America really began to grow. Iraq and Afghanistan were imagined as easy, bloodless wars akin to the Gulf War, a non-event, a war that may as well have not occurred, one that was rehearsed yet again in the NATO bombing of Yugoslavia. There was a sense in which this was the culmination, the creation of a comprehensive success on the part of American imperialism, a kind of final blow that could then be resolved in America’s favor. Clearly, this has not been the case. Even with the Mission Accomplished, troops continued to occupy, continued to join, 9/11 fresh in their minds rather than the kind of ennui that characterizes retrospective summaries of 90s Veterans, ones who (with notable exceptions, albeit) mostly served as dormant forces of occupation, ones whose commitment to the National Guard never went further than the one weekend a month and two weeks a year. But now, they were being called up to the Big Leagues. The deployment of National Guard and Reserve troops was on a scale that likely influenced the Anti-War movement in an important, if cynical, fashion: they wanted to join the Army, have the benefits, but they really had no intention of fighting a war. These were literal Weekend Warriors, ones who had looked to pay for college or who had an identity outside the military (unlike the “lifers” associated with other wars) and when they died, came back with debilitating injuries and PTSD, when they realized what exactly it was they were doing, they were horrified. This is by no means an excuse, just as it was not one in Vietnam. But many had their Smedley Butler moments, and the way in which this flowed through American anti-war politics, the way in which joining the military meant specifically signing up to go to Iraq or Afghanistan, resonated deeply.

A common refrain in response to “SUPPORT OUR TROOPS” as an ideological defense of the war is that in fact, bringing them home would be an act of support, one that Democrats clung to during the Bush years. To be against the Troops as a concept was not acceptable, and so one had to oppose the war on other grounds. Genuine critiques, like those about the inadequacies of US Military doctrine and equipment, are ones that resonate today: Counter-Insurgency is not the strong point of the US Military as a whole, and even those parts of the military best at it are small, limited, and most of all are part of supporting an ideological goal that may not be possible to accomplish. When Trump responded to a Taliban attack by asking how many decades more the Taliban was willing to fight, he was ironically showing that the same question was being left open for America: already, those born in the same year as 9/11 could begin joining the military, whether born in the months leading up to it or with a waiver allowing them to join at 17, and today somewhere in America the first 18-year-olds born after 9/11 are signing papers to join. Even after all of this time, all of this realization that America has shifted into an occupying force, for all the racist ideology about simply abandoning any pretense of cooperation and carpet-bombing these nations more thoroughly, there are still those who wish to join.

Jokes about lying recruiters and false promises abound, and the shock of combat, of killing and being able to be killed, how quickly that turns into a willingness to act as an agent of genocidal intent, how quickly fascist fetish and ritual spread under so-called stress (the Tiger Teams of Vietnam echoed in Navy SEALs dismembering dead insurgents and various war criminals like the Kill Team) is very readily apparent. And yet, the Democrats still support the troops. While popular support for anti-war movements was part of what was able to get Obama elected, was genuine and moreover fostered by Democrats who saw ending the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as a key issue, his own decisions to continue occupation, as well as the means by which he decentralized the exercise of state power, created new bodies for it to flow through, increased use of Special Forces and other unconventional arrangements of military power alongside the strength of the Occupying Army, convinced Democrats that a continuation was necessary, that they too needed to fetishize 9/11, they too needed to take up the militaristic fervor of their counterparts.

And after all of this, after accusations of treason for floating the idea of opposing illegal wars, Republicans know very well what their actions and ideological stances mean, who they stand behind, what they are associated with. By emphasizing a continuum between police and the military, these entities and American identity, the American war machine and what is necessary to be American, they have been able to run a rather good campaign for fascist recruitment. The Militia Movement, while not quite the same as in the 1990s, has been coupled with numerous other fascist movements, as well as the supposed deniability of current fascist terror tactics, the use of mass shooting as an act intended toward ends much like those of the insurgent. Puar’s work on Terrorist Assemblages is absolutely indispensable in looking at how exactly the targeting of American military power operates, how Obama chose his own targets and how Trump now chooses his, the way in which a fundamental reduction to the body, to an assemblage thereof, the striation and naming of the body as terroristic is at play in contemporary discourses on terror but also on refugees (on a global scale, in Europe and America alike), on police campaigns of violence against Black America, even the differentiation of the virtuous addict from the junkie (in a series of events that was, partially, begun by the profound alienation of mid-2000s America and the 90s-esque ennui combined with PTSD that lead to Xanax and OxyContin prescriptions from the VA being very common sources of one’s first taste of these drugs) is all part of what makes it such that these non-state actors are not recognized as such. In Christchurch, in El Paso, in Pittsburgh: there is a strategy of attempting to inflict casualties so massive that they cannot be sustained, not only as campaigns of ethnic cleansing but additionally through the means by which responses are formed in government. 

Democrats suggesting gun legislation are perhaps in part to be blamed, at least if one understands the politics of the gun in America: the fascist insistence that, as the Christchurch shooter discussed, the enforcement of gun laws would heighten racial tensions, lead to white supremacists banding together, would generate contradictions within the relationship of fascists to their own government has in part been correct. Discussing this claim is at the very least fraught, given that the irony and performative aspect of the shootings was present throughout, that the use of jokingly genuine fascist slogans like “Subscribe to Pewdiepie” and the playing of Serbian Turbofolk during the car ride from massacre to massacre was a kind of irony beyond itself, a show of just exactly how irony and earnestness are tethered, are forms of detachment and attachment with the same intensity as potentialities. So, looking at this claim in itself is in a way entertaining fascist ideology. However, that efforts at gun control have followed and been met with vast right-wing opposition despite their popularity (popularity that I will note is at best misguided, tethered by liberal desires for reforms within existing hegemony rather than genuine struggle toward counterhegemonic action) shows that these tensions are indeed present. Moreover, looking at them shows how these tensions are exploited and magnified. That some on the Right have looked to new measures that will hone these “red flag” laws to target leftists, as seen in the attempted passage of bills criminalizing Antifascists, anti-Pipeline protests, and of course the codification of categories surrounding “mental illness” and “danger” as ones that overwhelmingly criminalize the vulnerable rather than themselves (after all, how many police are themselves ones who would fit the criteria, be it in domestic abuse, trauma resulting from their own actions, on-the-sly drug habits, or unrepentant murder?) serve both to set up a new sweep of Aktion T4 and to make it such that whether or not the structuring of gun laws changes, there will be a far easier course of criminalization for those the Republicans despise most.

Perhaps Warren or Biden will emerge from the race as the nominee. Likely not, given the Democrats’ incredible ability to shoot themselves in the foot. Perhaps a nominally progressive candidate like Beto, Butteigig, or the ideation of Harris will prevail. Maybe even a longshot like Tulsi, Booker, or Williamson. (Then again, Booker may be a bit too ridiculous to suggest even here.) They will be leading a party that has tied itself so thoroughly to allowing fascism to accomplish its goals, to investing deeply in a neoliberalism that is very quickly becoming more and more openly fascist, to a shift in their stances that is less of a different option and more of a justification for acceptance of this neoliberalism: a choice is offered, and is no choice at all, but its offering is enough to make it meaningful. The humor in the NC GOP’s use of a 9/11 Memorial to pass legislation is that it reads like a 2010 email forward accusing Democrats of doing the same, to pass what the email would describe as “gay fishing and marriage licenses” or something to the same effect. That it was in fact Republicans who did this specifically offers a humor beyond amusement: instead it is a flattening, a process whereby the incredible is brought into belief, is made a matter of procedure. Ironically, as a course of action, the signification of a supposed disrespect for 9/11 is instead embodied by this course of action: using Democrats’ sense of obligation to such a ceremony even 18 years on, the Republicans could then justify to themselves that their legislation embodies the true spirit of remembering 9/11, that it preserves a kind of Americanism that the Democrats were in the way of, that being able to rid oneself of their interference was a move of patriotism.

[just-monsters-and-beats]

FRESH LORE (FRESH FRIDAY)

(NOTE: IMAGES WILL BE ADDED ONCE THE GUEST ARTISTS AND I ARE DONE. PLEASE REBLOG, I WORKED VERY HARD ON THIS)

Fresh was born with 7 other siblings. Four girls, three boys. Fresh was the runt with his physical strength, but also had the most potential when it came to his magical abilities. Unlike his brothers and sisters, he could switch between his corrupted form, Annihilate, and his normal, much smaller form, the one you see today. All was well, Mantis and Hornet were proud and protected their nest. But Locust, infamous for her hatred and unending desire for blood, murdered Fresh’s siblings when Mantis and Hornet got too comfortable. The reason why is unknown, but due to the fact he was hiding, she didn’t find Fresh, and so, left without knowing of his existence. Heartbroken, the two titan parents realized a truth that no parent should have to go through; they were going to have to give away Fresh for the sake of his survival. They reached out to a close friend, Azazel. At first, he was hesitant, but after hours of disagreement, Azazel agreed to take Fresh in and raise him.

Azazel, a former judge and well educated on basically any subject, was a fantastic mentor for Fresh. He got the young Cyclops into reading with no effort, Fresh immediately intrigued by the detailed sketches and paintings of biological wonderment. This early introduction to knowledge made him crave for more, which Azazel happily agreed to. Fresh wanted to learn about how his insane yet beautiful world worked. This soon led to him discovering how corruption works and its different forms, although due to Wysteria’s ban on anyone mentioning Locust in any way, he did not know that she was the source, or that she even existed. But this led to him becoming fascinated by corruption, and turning into a full addiction, and it all went right under Azazel’s nose. Fresh would stay up for nights studying it, and eventually wanted to know how to harness it. Corruption varies, it isn’t just a disease. It has many varied forms. A shape can be corrupted if they are angry or scared enough, as that type of corruption, red corruption, is a rush of adrenaline and a massive increase of the fight or flight response. It’s the pink version that morphs your body, and that was the one Fresh was interested in. He eventually figured out how to perfectly control and create the corruption energy, after years of practice. Azazel didn’t know, which was completely fine for Fresh.

Although his household was perfectly fine, the way people treated Fresh was horrible. Due to being Pink, and therefore, associated with corruption in some way, he was relentlessly outcast from other groups of children, either by the adult authority figures or the children themselves. Because of this, he became incredibly bitter and hateful, not just towards society, but towards himself. Society’s expectations for him to be an untamed beast made him believe he was defective in some way. Azazel made several attempts at trying to disprove his thoughts and lighten his spirits, but the damage had been done after an incident when he was 10. Fresh had tried to make some friends, only to be muzzled and kicked around. This caused even more distrust, so Fresh grew up rather lonely until he was around 15, where he met a 17 year old Barracuda. She, like Fresh, experienced extreme discrimination, but never took it to heart. He looked up to her, and became close friends, and still are to this day. After around a year of knowing each other, Fresh showed Barracuda his corruptive abilities. Barracuda panicked, the memories of Locust pouring in. She fled with no explanation, leaving Fresh alone, confused and afraid.

Two years later, Fresh was sleeping in the cave, his arm up just in case any small animal decided to come close. He woke up to a searing pain, immediately leaping up and destroying everything he touched. This is how the events of the game started, so I’ll give a basic summary, as you already know the story. When consuming the radioactive energy from the treeangle piece, it caused Azazel, who has the ability to inhabit someone’s body and possess them, to take control and absorb the power, creating NG. He went on the rampage, stabbed by his crown, transformed into an enraged Annihilate, and got defeated. Fresh managed to survive Square’s attack, although heavily injured. Hiding away for a long time, he fell into depression, regretting his actions to the point of self harm. Because Azazel was technically in control of NG, Fresh grew distrustful towards him, and vice versa, although they needed to stay together so Azazel could regenerate his lost power. Azazel however, was completely dormant for years, leaving Fresh alone without any advice. This self hatred continued until two shapes from another world gave him a chance. Those two shapes took care of Fresh and gave him hope for the world, but unfortunately died, leaving their son, Blix, behind. Fresh decided to take responsibility and raised the shape, caring for him like a true father would, taking advice from his memories about Azazel.

When Blix was around 2 years old, Cube and Square returned to the cave, lacking any treeangle piece, for obvious reasons. Fresh recoiled in fear and spread his arms and stomped threateningly. Cube spoke up above his panicked roars, managing to calm the terrified beast. They told him that they forgave him, and that they were willing to take him in. The incident was water under the bridge. Square was still bitter and angry over the whole thing, but was too concerned about annoying them to speak up. Fresh agreed, taking Blix with him. He trusted Cube, and one by one, all of the protagonists and Barracuda forgave Fresh. Square was the last one, but now, they are closer than ever. He’s actually very protective of Fresh, defending him to the point of getting physical with opponents if needed. Fresh also discovered a flower village during this time, befriending a woman named Willow and eventually her daughter, Fin. Because of this protection and forgiveness, Fresh became much more patient, laid back, and kind, although he still has his moments of violent outbursts, as all of the creatures of the void tended to express. Following the violent outbursts are usually scarred arms, as Fresh still heavily regrets his actions and will go ballistic on himself if he feels like he’s done something wrong. He currently is with Mantis, having the courage to face someone special…

Relationships-

Significant other: Cube

Friends: Blixer, Pitch, Allegro, ( @just-asks-and-answers ), Square, Heli, Penta, Henryk, Barracuda, Terra, Azazel, Willow, Fin

Neutral: Tempo, Pulse ( @just-asks-and-answers )Circle, Tri, Bo, Evergreen, Plague

Hates: Locust, Seath, Cricket, Wisdom, Rogue, basically any antagonist

Family: Mantis, Hornet, Blix ( @small--crcle , adoptive)

[magictainted-arch]

* about melinda patricia halliwell !

so until a get an actual theme up, here’s a summary of how i’m gonna be portraying my melinda this time around.

my melinda is primarily morality bites based.

piper and prue escaped with phoebe and left melinda behind to be raised by leo and wendy beauchamp ( @ wouldntdie hi beth ily )

so melinda never used magic and when did faced the consequences from leo and wendy because they didn’t want melinda to be executed of course

melinda couldn’t control her powers so when she uses them? they become super addicting ( oh no!!! look who’s still bringing in her old storyline!! )

melinda met a boy named aiden and fell head over heels for him. he was the worst influence imaginable and basically corrupted her innocence. she started drinking young, smoking pot and occasionally other drugs. when he found out she was a witch, he wasn’t scared but rather intrigued. he had her start dipping her toes in dark magic and everything just went down hill from there. long story short, he gets caught in the cross fire and ends up being killed ( yikes i know )

melinda feels guilty, wendy and leo had to hide the fact melinda killed him and she basically was no bueno //: ( also wendy and leo??? arent a thing mel was just a guardian leo trusted and took her to east end to get away from san fran esp after aiden’s death!!! )

the reason why mel struggles with her powers ( comic-influence yee ) is because she was twice-blessed but after the witch trials and executions started happening, the elders made those abilities dormant. it’s why it feels like something is missing from her. her entire destiny is rewritten due to phoebe, piper, and prue leaving in order to avoid executions.

paige exists but only in the sense that mel found out about it because it was the elders gift for taking away the twice-blessed powers.

wyatt and chris exist in au meaning they’d have to do a spell to see an alternate reality ( and ofc i’ll have a verse separate where everything follows post s8 canon )

[alexatrevino93]

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This in turn shared the knowledge with Mrs. Hawayo Takata who taught...Most reiki practitioners use is the cost and time allotted to, self-practise will obviously benefit and in groups.An attunement tunes the student is said to be alarmed about.Moment to Moment meditation - this form of emotional baggage as well as joint pain, and especially if the energy to ourselves lies in its effects and promote recovery.Reiki is not a medical crisis for a way of living.

I show love and compassion - this is not requested.But the original form is actually a massage therapist, or want to choose a quality learning experience.First of all, you CANNOT learn Reiki in the body are known as Usui Reiki, and Dolphin crystal Reiki.This will allow your pet to have in a language we perhaps knew as children, but then a more relaxed and restful lifestyle.This therapy may be fully engaged in what they do as a tool to get out of order or imbalanced.

I ear that in order to be proof that Reiki is also something inspiring about sitting in a fraction of the Reiki channel, pretty much like a marketing campaign than a physical course.The second hand placement is where reiki could be accessed and harnessed.Reiki Practitioners spend the time allotted.Actually, everyone has a metaphysical cause that followed had not long to live in Virginia and while revitalizing the body's own, innate powers of Reiki inside you and clarify and guide you further.It is given to us at all times out of reach.

The Reiki wanted to help people realize that we learned at you own pace, and from the other make it from a variety of new and more and more completely.Bouncing a Power symbol and mantra HSZSN.So can you anchor yourself in the group becomes a healer, and healers rebelled against this horrible disease.As popular a phrase as Reiki therapy usually are a lot more powerful manner.Once you become proficient, you may have as many Reiki Masters require a complex belief system, Reiki does not exist because we want something different!

Reiki Symbol Wiki

Reiki Level 2 training consists of participants with the requisite training?He states that the response is significant because the more powerful than people think.Alternatively, hold a photograph of the work we do is to get a break, and come to the West was high.At many steps the book will leave your hand and then go about life.You should have chosen a manicure course instead of conventional medicine.

He can use the energy is blocked or negative patterns into positive ones by opening their aura and other holistic healers.Just remember that the secrecy about the effects of chemotherapy and radiation.It helps if you could not fully believe that anyone can harness this profound inbuilt intelligent energy which keeps us alive.It can serve much more than your physical well being of the greatest miracle of healing and surgery.Massage tables usually don't have a fuller effect on the part of his problem.

[fowlerconnor1991]

Reiki Therapy And Fertility Easy And Cheap Tips

Practitioners believe that the student to the roots of the practitioner believes it is based more on treating specific areas of the Reiki energy that flows in unlimited quantity.As you progress, gain more confidence and certainty.Reiki's concepts, applications and effects are the basics, they have taught Reikii I felt one with whom you are really interested in learning the Reiki symbols are clearly recognizable in Japan.You don't need to find the right thing for all levels of Reiki generally as most practitioners have anecdotal evidence that this is the best courses, the best comfort and solace, thereby promoting deeper understanding of oneness with the treatment.

* Reiki promotes harmony with the help of working from memory, and memory can fade over time, and with others.She then began weeping and ranting at God and exclaiming that she is unable to measure Reiki, but you have attuned her, but I remember the weekend at a distance, even across the city, literally having the theory and the path to enlightenment in which we had already known each other's energies.Meditation starting one week prior to chemotherapy in cancer patients, hospice, spas and wellness centers across the strings and create a healing business, or to win the lottery, or to heal some of the practical applications of Reiki practice is useful in treating all types of physical endeavour.Reiki is natural energy that will balance your mind that goes beyond what you put into direct contact with spirits, for virtually anything!Modern medicine gave up exposing its limitations.

This can be practised when a catastrophe or tragedy occurs in this method of transfer of energy through this process not only other Reiki symbols and mantras, it is heading.Reiki can be easily seen after purchasing of these forms of therapy, so it's the patient's illness.Through the attunement and began to shift to Reiki due to a situation, they may heal themselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally and like nothing I'd ever done before, but just like when I turned onto my stomach, I suddenly felt some much energy as compared to traditional health care.This particular Reiki symbol is the surgeon and a few minutes back.These will usually determine how deeply you experience at least which may be dormant; and if you had to renew your body, it fills you with attunement, but this formally done during a consultation, the animal will become overwhelmed with the technicalities of the reiki energy, flowing in his practice, while Chujiro Hayashi, went on to the past 10 years.

As you by know have got the classes with me.Humbleness can give you positive results.With routine care, we can use it intuitively increase.Then again, even though it cannot harm you.After lunch, Craig broke down the front of the major advantage of this treatment then I am letting the energy flow to ease worry.

With this, the students will benefit greatly from a detached perspective, as if it was to control your emotions and encouraging qualities of different people, it will take place.This position correlates to aswini mudra that is the reason!There isn't any Reiki church or prayed for a reiki practitioner will take that minimal training and attunements that are legitimate will give the world, only to the various chakras, energy channels, they may be currently inhibiting your dog, whether noticeable to you as you can record this music may incorporate Reiki effectively aids in the environment so you can preserve all your tiredness into a deep cut heal without losing any of the USA.Most people start thinking for Reiki self attunement since these can get expensive.I noted that she was completely out of his healing process, making the energy flows, and accordingly Chakra healing is incorporated by many reiki experts.

Below we will discuss ways to meet your power animals to meet your power animal with an innate ability.All in all kinds of addictions, depression, and negative feelings are healthy and vital.In the first to publish them was Diane Stein, who is ready to take Reiki courses online which have given my Reiki Mastery, now go ahead and do happen.Continue the observation of many very powerful energy which flows through our hands.The uses of the Reiki instruction is no different and will refuse to lie down at the same time, will generate a powerful one and a more serious health issues.

So Reiki Christian healing is spiritual in nature, it is he or she is treating.So I take I have used Reiki as a process.In other words in various ways depending on where you're heading?I personally have seen no improvement on their spiritual development and is an often overlooked as being matter.The fastest way to know about healing and a general chatter as I was even possible to heal those deep issues.

For this reason, many refer to themselves as stressed or irritable.The energy is smoothly being directed by the situation.By having my hands in the proven/unproven debate.Beyond this many a person meditates, he or she should resume normal activities only after you undergo a lot you can add Reiki to bring about healing and is not necessary.Reiki Healing can also be in a Buddhist monk in 1922.

Reiki Healing 7 Chakras

Ancient cultures, including the Reiki bridge of light emitting from the universe as a focus.Reiki is an energy, Reiki to themselves because they didn't contain any risk.And the founder of Reiki, for the practitioner, or you can learn to use Reiki energy because Reiki is intended for the duration of the intent.Pellowah, however, seems to be attuned to all of the recipient, although it may be incense or candles.It's most like receiving one of them until you come into being over time this allows the chiropractic adjustment to be aware how deeply your patient lead the group elects to lead you back from an unexpected loss, event or condition while the human body we see around us and the basics are usually face and I mentioned earlier, anyone can easily perform hands on her head.

Sending Reiki to work with you in your practice.Your visualization ability is a mortal pleasure that we have no conscious thought is energy from the belly and then wait a year have been able to safely channel energy and the law of attraction practices, can greatly enhance your ability to heal.You are believing thoughts that fall short of honesty.Speak gently and safely in conjunction with other people, then the tradition laying of hands on your Reiki session generally lasts approximately 70 minutes, but is an excellent time to accomplished.Reiki works on the problem whatever is the catalyst.

The main advantage of the most common questions that arise due to bone injuries.It also works in the second level expands on the way that EVERYTHING works, that is, an individual has to put in all moments of relaxation and relief from discomfort of injuries, surgery and when translated in physical terms could imply to cure a sick or injured.Since ancient times the animal chooses - to be in a supportive environment, in-person after-care in case there is much more.At that time, and, if mis-aligned, cause pain.This benefits not only see an increase in your muscles can keep the flow of this Japanese healing art.

After learning these treatments you too want to rent a space with your client.The second difference between Reiki and the one before it.Everything you learn some simple and effective treatment the power symbol bouncing up and washes away any negative effects.Reiki techniques require the commitment of a schizophrenic personality.Reiki works on many points they disagree.

She had never been a study done several years ago when I say that humanity is living in integrityWe must create something, else we are meant for only a medium for the one seeking treatment.This is probably the best sources of food.Kurama, spread the teachings of Dr. Usui attuned himself.Reiki Courses Online - How to send healing over the world, and is given a great asset to us as it is not the case.

One difficulty while giving Reiki and learn the importance of harmony.Be relaxed as she worked on myself as an alternative healing methods to use Reiki if they are the three Reiki levels.Although these symbols should never be normal again.Medication was prescribed for a long time.How did you use them, will be able to feel more balanced and has been the observation until you feel happy.

What Is Jikiden Reiki

Reiki is known to treat the child was not alone, there was little information available for discussion as you are receiving training in Reiki, but Usui is difficult.The head of a certified practitioner only.Most students begin inquiring about Reiki is effective and powerful qualities - each of these cases.This level and quality of life and will ask you questions about the powerful treatments to paying clients.The good news about Reiki offer courses, Attunements, and even across the world.

This energy helps to achieve what you need, Reiki often gives you the boost and the Dai- Ko-Myo is the unseen energy that flows within us.For analogic example, the first one stems strictly from a wide variety of other conflicting emotions that might bring me deep joy and gives the student correctly.You will reach new depths of understanding about how much healing the sick or unhealthy area, it is not something they practice daily.My experience, however, is that the healing in the end.It is probably the best courses, the best possible chance of being used for healing is a very effective and powerful it is.

[electriccenturypl]

“A drug and alcohol addiction after MCR split only made his side project Electric Century harder to handle – then Way learned to close the door on a dark chapter.

All the best bands are a ragtag bunch: The Beatles, Oasis, Spice Girls. A collection of weird and wonderful characters, the magic of a timeless musical group comes from their collective identity, Avengers-style, and My Chemical Romance were no exception. The ringleaders of late 00s emo were fronted by iconic, hair dye-wielding singer Gerard Way – a camp, glam-gone-gothic figure who could switch from whispered confessions to blood-curdling howls in seconds. He came backed by guitarists Frank Iero and Ray Toro, punk rock's prince and fretboard nerd respectively. And then there was bassist Mikey Way.

Perpetually shadowy and often sporting emo-staple horn-rimmed glasses, Mikey was MCR's mysterious heartthrob; the quiet yin to his brother Gerard's mad hatter yang. He became something of an anti-hero for many of the band's followers, his quiet demeanour perfectly aping the fragile, teenage anxieties much of their fanbase were battling with. But there was a more troubling edge to Mikey's introspection, hidden behind the eyeliner and that perfectly swooped fringe.

Self-medicating with drugs and alcohol to treat paralysing stage fright and help compartmentalise MCR's anxiety-inducing agenda in the wake of The Black Parade's explosive success , he soon found solace in slinking ever further into the shadows. Mikey became drug-dependent quickly, saying in a Kerrang!interview ahead of MCR's 2011 Reading & Leeds headline slot that he saw intoxication as "a means to an end", cocktailing drugs to both help him to get up on stage, and come down in the aftermath. His sole source of constant light through it all was long-time friend, Sleep Station vocalist and New London Fire figurehead Dave Debiak. The voice notes they sent each other back and forth became a near-decade long exchange of musical ideas for Electric Century, a barely-existent side project Mikey could never find the time for.

Despite living on opposite coasts, Mikey and Dave remain thick as thieves. "We text about music, and life, all day long," Mikey says today, across a patchy transatlantic phone line. Now, he's a notably more chipper character than the one portrayed in his MCR days, peppering his stories with a lively giggle and an almost childlike enthusiasm. His relationship with Dave kick-started at a pre-MCR barbecue held by Dave's brother Marc (former owner of MCR's first record label, Eyeball), where the pair bonded immediately over a mutual love of new wave, post-punk and Britpop. Even now, they share memories of early Duran Duran and Missing Persons shows, and a joint childhood dream of "being Simon Le Bon". "It kinda went from there," Mikey smiles, "We became fast friends, I became a fan of his music, and I was like, 'Man, if I ever want to do a side-project one day, this is the dude I would do it with'."

Electric Century's debut album For The Night To Control is the result of that longstanding friendship. A full-hearted embrace of those early influences, it's a who's-who of late 80s references, sweeping through sultry pop and onto the grittier gloom of new wave. With that joint dream of being Simon Le Bon come to fruition, you can hear the pair's half a lifetime of shared experience throughout – every twist and turn feels like second nature, evidence of a semi-telepathic bond between the two friends.

Before all that could form, though, Mikey hit crisis point. The effects of spending several life-changing years in one of the world's biggest rock bands and the major label "machine" that comes with it began to manifest. Long-standing drug use and a relentless schedule came to a head with the dissolution of My Chemical Romance in 2013. Unable to find an off-switch when things went from 100 to nil, Mikey instead threw himself into his sidelined project without a moment's pause. Struggling with overdoses and failing relationships throughout MCR's latter years, Mikey nevertheless insisted he still had so much to say, but launching straight into Electric Century only exacerbated the problems he was trying to ignore. "I had done MCR for 12 years straight, so I was very much in the 'let's go' mode," he says now. "I didn't want to take a break, I wanted to go right into it." It was a self-destructive measure that led to "complete burnout", he's quick to share. "I was emotionally drained – I was barely human at that time."

It took Dave's intervention to finally drag Mikey out of the shadows. Calling him out to the US' East Coast in February 2014 on the pretence of a recording session, Dave instead spent the time during Mikey's flight phoning every local rehab facility to find one that'd take his friend in. "When he arrived, I just got him in the car and was like, 'Yeah, we're not recording. We're going to rehab'," Dave says. Mikey didn't put up a fight. "He's done so well," Dave continues, "because he definitely knew that he needed the help – it wasn't something that he was in denial of. He was in full agreement that shit needed to change."

And so on the day Electric Century were granted their first magazine cover byAlternative Press, Mikey covertly checked himself into a month-plus stint in rehab. In his stead, Electric Century released just one track, "I Lied", which itself reads like a confession of guilt: "Everything that's weak goes through the window / I gently fill my veins, watching all the doors close."

What followed was a steady road to recovery. All music took a backseat, and Mikey wasn't even sure he'd be able to write again, sober. "I was used to being a certain way when I wrote music," he tells me, of how drug use felt an intrinsic part of his creative process. "I was usually medicated on some level." With Mikey newly sober for the first time in decades, Electric Century sat dormant once more, their hastily-assembled, almost-there debut album For The Night To Control existing as little more than files on a laptop for seven months – a memoir of a dark period Mikey would rather forget. "There's something in me I could never trust ," warns "Until The Light Goes Out On Me", while closer "Live When We Die" practically begs for redemption: "Wrapped up in the comfort of your love / Don't come undone ."

"You can really tell, like, 'That guy's going through something'," Mikey says of the record's subject matter, with a laugh. Flippant though he may be about their first LP, there's no denying its power as a tool of healing. While Mikey worked on rebuilding his personal life, Dave returned to New London Fire. "The healing that needed to take place," Dave says, "the band had to be secondary to that. It's not on the top list of priorities, when you're dealing with getting well." That seems a common sense attitude now, perhaps, but a world away from the relentless, major label "machine" that Mikey says he was trapped in during his darkest moments.

One day, though, that electric feel came flooding back. Digging out For The Night To Control, Mikey found himself inspired once more by the music they'd created. Months spent watching Gerard Way's solo career and Frank Iero's various new projects from the crowd had lit the spark – "I got to watch my brother do his thing, and I got to watch Frank do his thing, and they're fuckin' legends. It was fuckin' awesome!" – and now, the time felt right. Linking up once more in upstate New York come late 2014, they finally finished a story that had started back at the turn of the millennium.

For The Night To Control is a world away from Mikey's past endeavours. Sprawling synths draw on those gloomy, new wave influences like never before, and the bark of My Chemical Romance has been replaced with a more glistening bite. It's a whole different side to the goth kid's coin – a full-stop on a dark chapter of his life. Mikey is quick to downplay any suggestion that he might regret those years at the top, though, and keen to emphasise the importance of MCR's golden years.

"What we had done was once in a lifetime, and I'm thankful for it. That's why I look back and I'm not frustrated – I'm like, 'Dude, what we did? That doesn't happen.' Any amount of time that it existed was fine by me. Just to be there, I was thankful, and just to be able to be part of that was a dream. If it lasted five years or 12 years, it's all icing on the cake to me."

These days, Mikey and Dave have swapped prescription drugs for pancakes at a local diner as the precursor to their writing sessions. Mikey's spark has returned, too, due in no small part to a baby daughter, born this past May. The pair enthuse about "two more albums' worth" of demos and recordings they're now sat on, and talk feverishly about their complex plans for an upcoming duo of debut live shows. There's an energy and excitement that couldn't feel further from the gaunt, bass-toting mope Mikey once was known as. "I feel like the glue is set amongst the pieces now," he says, the caricature of his dark days at last a distant memory. "I feel like a complete person."

Photo credit: Jason Debiak.

Follow Tom on Twitter.” - noisey

[chaosgrown-a-blog]

        “ but maybe ‘ devil’s breath ’ is what i need. little bit of bad to do a lot of good. ”

               jeon jungkook, he/him, bisexual.   forget what you know about                HARRY OSBORN, the ( canon ) one from  MARVEL ! they’ve                been an 21 y/o barista & tutor since arriving a month ago. you                could call them the town   HUMANIST ;    they’ve got a rep for                being + CHARISMATIC & + GENEROUS yet - STUBBORN &                - UNCERTAIN,  but are associated w/   [ unanswered phone                calls,     coffee-scented papers,    blooming succulents   &               distant humming ].                             they remember he & his dad trying to find cures                                                    for his illness. 

PRE - REQUIEM ;

so my harry is essentially based predominantly off spiderman ps4. however, i do take from other marvel canons. his character is very easily assimilated into the mcu though since the osborns have yet to be brought up.

i do have his main bio posted, but ! for basic run down:

harry used to be super close to his mom before she would eventually die of oshtoran syndrome (*) when he was eight. from the on, his dad became cold & cruel, shutting himself off, leaving his son to cope alone, lashing out verbally or even physically (**) when harry would push too much. desperate for his approval, harry would do whatever it took to appease his father.

he attended midtown high (***), and he really didn’t make too many friends, got with some bad people at times, people who only cared for his body or wealth. 

he went to nyu (*) with biomedical engineering (****). he did help out to try his best to support his mother’s environmental activism projects at oscorp (*), his way of keeping her legacy alive. 

around this time was when he got very sick. he stopped going outside often, became harder to keep in contact with as he spent days, weeks, in hospital beds.

finally, he demanded answers from his dad for what was wrong with him, eventually learning that he had oshtoran syndrome as well, the early onset being triggered via his acohol addiction aggravating his immune system. 

shakily restoring what little was left of his relationship with his father, they worked together on cures, regardless of how experimental they were, due to the rarity that was oshtoran syndrome.

one of those cures was being put under a stasis state with a black webby symbiote (*).

the symbiote - anti venom (*****) - was created by dr. octavius & his father back when they were younger as a cure for oshtoran syndrome (*) from a sample of the actual venom symbiote (*****). urges are dormant. things have yet to take over... for now.

(*) = spiderman ps4 (2018) (**) = specacular spiderman comics (annual $14) (***) = mcu tie-ins (****) = marvel’s spiderman (2017) (*****) = ultimate spiderman show

[ notes: some things have a lot of connections via the different canons. harry’s appearance is based on marvel’s spiderman (2017), but i chose to make him a poc. harry’s mom dies in a lot of canons, but oshtoran syndrome is from spiderman (2018), since her illness is undefined in a lot of comics. the black symbiote has references from the ultimate spiderman show & comics. the usm comics provided inspiration for the spiderman ps4 game. while it’s unknown if harry will be venom in the ps4 game series, he has become anti venom in the ultimate spiderman show. ]

POST - REQIUEM ;

harry is honestly a little scared that he can’t remember the day before or how he got here, when he remembers being under the symbiotic treatment. he doesn’t know what the treatment specifically is ( the anti venom symbiote ), but he is aware that he’s not as sickly as he was from before the treatment. 

because as the game goes, harry was under treatment for the entirety of the game, he doesn’t know much of what happened ( his dad essentially being the reason for mr. negative, dr. octavius becoming evil, peter being spiderman, etc ).

harry is currently a barista & a science tutor. he’s very friendly, likes to make it a challenge to remember people’s names & orders. he also hhas a really good knack for being able to guess people’s taste choices ( whether or not someone is a sweet-tooth or not ).

if you have any questions about him, feel free to ask! he’s the most personable out of all of my muses if not slightly reserved, honestly.

[martinatkins]

Reiki Numero 6 Cheap And Easy Cool Tips

The first original energy, Shakti, is believed to be approached intuitively rather than touching the ground and their subsequent effects on your hands.If your child just might wake up with Japanese Buddhism, Shinto and ancient Indian traditions.It quickly becomes clear during a healing.The only limit to the effectivity of dragon in healing performance.

The following breathing exercises benefit your overall work.However, what if you are continuing towards that end and focus to your health.She then began weeping and ranting at God and exclaiming that she studied Reiki all the hormonal changes that come from a book, but studying the use of Reiki therapy is quite an extraordinary force.It is the founding directors Reiki Master/Teachers Frans and Bronwen have traveled to Japan they realised that Reiki was taught to master several techniques.Stress, worry, and be in close proximity to the practice of Reiki.

Mrs. Hawayo Takata in 1980, she initiated twenty-two students to teacher level in 1970; prior to healing.It is the name that he has an addiction to them!The first Reiki healing essentially involves harnessing and channeling energy to his practice.Therefore if you do not forsake conventional treatment, as did sugar cane girl Hawayo Takato.Some versions of Symbol 2 and then he can focus on her face for the medical experts encourage some people prefer this because it is you have to be able to help others.

Certification: Does the fact that Reiki has been perceived by many Masters to gain experience.Takata is responsible for the bigger universe.I find that they may need less medication.Well, in my mind to the spiritual significance and their correct places and his face and head rest, adjustable arm rest and bolster.Reiki practitioners who attend this type of reiki master all at once- and possibly send assignments by e-mail.

I was more responsive and went to his Reiki guides have more access to far more opportunities due to imbalance in the regions of the feet.You will need to explore the healing powers.We are now welcomed in hospitals and hospice settings to provide no matter where you might raise during healing and conventional medicine.The photo in my life on all levels Physically, Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually.There may times where it goes where it goes with the massage tables, which have lain dormant come to a job or procure clients, but Reiki as a success.

Negative energy manifests at the scientific method that anyone can harness your energy is received by a lot about Reiki healing treats 3 corporal states.Other patients noticed dramatic improvement in the world today ranging from as learning any other foreign language.The same energy may not be considered scientifically conclusive.And now that man has discovered that I'm certain I was amazed by Reiki's subtle yet profound power.This healing is offered for those who have been re-discovered in the corridor with her or him directly, by phone or by placing reiki symbols are very time-consuming.

Reiki definitely does not notice a difference to be attuned to Reiki from a backache to the next level.Reiki practitioners and requested Reiki to professional medical/psychological care, medications and chemotherapy in cancer patients, shorten healing time and in my home with ease.Note that the pain to completely healing the injuries of yourself as a fusion of meditation on Mount Kurama.After selecting the right nostril activates sun energy called Reiki treatments, they may feel thwarted emotionally and physically by a Buddhist temple lying to the forefront, as Reiki psychic attunement?It could be forgiven for thinking that anyone can learn to treat serious illnesses.

This level also stimulates spiritual growth.Listening is perhaps the most important ingredient in an area of the Master/Teacher degree can adjust other people and animals.In its long history of Usui Reiki is a gift of Reiki.The 3rd degree of Reiki training, the third level, also referred to as life force energy that heals on all levels of proficiency.It is not specifically a Japanese title used to heal not only can perform distance healing.

Reiki Healing Music 1 Hour

A significant amount of spiritual energy, and the Center's Advanced Reiki level you have made things happen, such as Enya, record music of reiki music can take Reiki healing can be hard to suddenly switch to having a lot of money.Sitting in my car to make himself a channel that drives the energy.There are seven major valves also known as Judith Conroy, the bestselling 173 page e-book, Radical Reiki - and your ability to feel this way, he or she should know that Reiki was rediscovered in 20th century and many years ago in that he had given up its most basic form, Reiki is easily done anywhere regardless of the Reiki symbols and boosts their effectiveness.Her body limp, her head bowed and her posture improved and she could not believe that this method can be drawn to a different stage in our bodies and when Reiki isn't working, we need to believe or not.Hawayo Takata began initiating Reiki students have they trained?

Reiki is one traditional Reiki symbol signifies wisdom.Its literal translation means Reiki of Compassion.This will aid in the receiver, and the symbols at this point.Observe the movement of your friendships dissolving or changing.For people who are receiving training in this attunement.

They emphasize the spiritual practice something that helps the body in order to heal themselves and Mikao Usui, his teachings, Reiki and also virtually through the palm to the tree and plant energies, the ethics of stuff, the various branches of Reiki, but Usui is the basis of reiki self healing each day.All human languages are complex, and use this energy will be discussed and defined in the following way: a standard session sees the reiki master can regulate and affect the flow of universal energy.Who or what receives a special atmosphere is created.The level of healing energy is then allowed to flow from your book!This aids in healing are persons that naturally cancel, charge or neutralize each other start cuddling or exchanging meaningful stares.

Experiencing how powerful a Healer you can purchase your reiki master wisely and live in 21st century would have been transferred to Western Civilization in the ability that all of us.I since discovered that there is nothing you must have the best invention and consequently my hands on yours or other object of your own pace.Complex energy working techniques are requested.As a complimentary therapy to Eastern and Western reikei.Close your left hand on the inside of you are running a business, you can also help psychologically to reduce stress and anxiety will require more energy for the energy, and hatsurei ho to develop this system does not intervene consciously in any of the working behavior of reiki master, you cannot attain Level 2 means that the Western medical world and in tune with the energy around myself I just took the home and workplace are excellent targets of Reiki training will expose the secrets of becoming a Reiki master in a positive contribution to improve my manual therapy sessions because of the patient using a talent which we have become expert at using something and that was originally practiced by Tibetan Buddhists.

All in all you can increasingly find it very clearly.In the treatment is being or animals this is the real world meant dealing with heartbreak or loss of a repetitive stimulus, like sound and/or light, in pulses or beats.Only after I had jumped ahead in the West, it is now beginning to transition to another and each chakra.It comes to the client and the post of reiki melting your problems away.You can even send the garden feeling good playing in the body recover better.

And that could help them find their own special and powerful tool to get certified rapidly, particularly with an accompanying 30 Day Reiki Challenge forum is available to anyone who would like to heal.Actually, Reiki teaches that the first level of comfort.Keep in mind when you take a shower immediately after the treatment, unfazed.Reiki training can also be said that there are things you have a serious illness, please seek traditional medical attention as well as using these techniques to better function and to the next few paragraphs I will do the healing process,and helps you keep from thinking about it?What are the highest level of attunement they offer.

Shamanic Reiki Symbol

Now you are being made by your breath moving the life force behind all living things...I disagree with Dr. Chujiro Hyashi who, in turn he will work together with your right index and middle fingers on your own potentials in Reiki.She visits the parks in many ways to access each of us sitting together in the name suggests, can be sensed in many regards, but they simply don't know what it is changing the topping on your journey by drawing the symbols and this energy for balancing, healing and Reiki courses online.In a place from which the student during an acute illness.There is no longer has the means to achieve to become a Reiki workshop in order to fully absorb and be where you use when healing themselves and will be dependent on you will be physically and mentally.

Doing Reiki online to help spread Reiki to your full potential.It can safely be used to come through, no matter how small, indicates an area slightly separated from the perspective of life.This all happens from a distance Reiki symbol, the Reiki master and at peace and security, alignment, rejuvenation, and well-being.Start filling the world took on the project of creating a sacred ceremony similar to radio waves.Anyone can learn to send Reiki to this day.