#because he needs his adultery roleplay

[scurvyboy]

he forgor

[rescue-ram]

Hawkahy opinion: I don't think Hawkeye has a priest kink.

Obviously a big reason people would be into shipping the priest is because they're titillated by the concept of priestfucking more broadly, and of all the weird stuff people project onto their blorbos a benign and relatively common fetish is fucking nothing lol.

But tbh it does scan as kind of out of character to me. Like I just don't buy that Hawkeye would be into priest fucking, and if anything I think it would be a bit of a turn off.

When I was first mulling on this, I was kind of like "Well maybe he'd be turned on by the priest thing not because of the priesthood specifically but just the general naughtiness of breaking taboos..." but then I realized that Hawkeye almost never expressed genuine sexual interest in anyone who isn't a conventionally attractive, single, and uncomplicatedly sexually available woman- and the few times it is complicated he's legitimately squicked out and put off. I just think of he was going to be turned on by the idea of breaking vows he'd be into adultery at least as much as Margaret is lmao.

Plus, he's not Catholic, he wasn't raised Catholic, we have no reason to think he was even raised in a "high church" liturgical Protestant tradition. How and why would he have the life experiences to form the associations that make up a priestkink?

Hawkeye likes Mulcahy and respects him, but I think that has 0% to do with him being a priest. Mulcahy could be literally anything but if he conducted himself and related to Hawkeye in more or less the same way, I think he'd still like him just as much.

I will say that I think on both a Watsonian and Doylist level, the fact that Mulcahy is a priest frees him up to flirt with Hawkeye in a way that's a little different from other characters. Generally, Hawkeye flirting with men is treated as a joke in itself, but there still needs to be a little "no homo" at the end of it. This usually comes in an annoyed rebuff or outrage, or the joke being ignored and not commented upon. If the person flirts back, it has to be very obviously a joke. With Mulcahy, any flirting at all is a joke because of the implied taboo of the priesthood- the characters and the audience both know this ain't going anywhere. There is a different quality to their flirtation, because they don't have to immediately defuse the joke, so there's several scenes I can think of that have a warm or sincere vibe, where Hawkeye's teasing is a little gentler than normal and Mulcahy seems genuinely amused or flattered.

But again, that vibe kind of hinges on nothing actually happening. I think if Mulcahy was genuinely interested, Hawkeye would be totally thrown off, and tbh I think he'd find sexual inexperience to be a turn off as well- his taste in women would suggest he prefers partners who are sexually confident. I don't imagine it would be a completely insurmountable difference, but I do see it as an obstacle for a hypothetical relationship to overcome rather than an incentive for it to exist.

But really, all of this is a preamble to my TedX talk on why "Hawkeye gets turned on by roleplay emphasizing Mulcahy's priesthood" is overshadowing the underrated high camp potential of "Mulcahy gets turned on by roleplaying being a frat boy with Hawkeye"-

[horizon-verizon]

I know that most Green stans are christofascists that use HOTD as a vessel to channel their misogynistic and reactionary propaganda, but just because something is a social problem in-universe doesn’t mean you have to roleplay being the kind of backward bigot that believes it. You’re not always supposed to agree with societal norms in fiction because they’re displayed to make a point of how dreadful and oppressive they are. There’s a reason people who read The Scarlet Letter don’t go around calling Hester Prynne a slut, saying that adultery is a monstrous sin, and supporting the reverend, the puritan colony and Hester’s husband. Because the author explicitly condemn the misogyny, shaming, public humiliation, and social stigma Hester faces.

How do ASOIAF fans feel when a man born in 1804 is more progressive than they are ????

Yup. To bring back Daemon as the groomer/pedo debate (cuz I know many green stans of either book or show will point out that how this character has stans despite his grooming/pedoness):

In the show, Rhaenyra is 19 when she first kisses Daemon as Daemon appears to spend way less time with her (what is required for grooming) than he does in the book

in the book, Daemon gets away with what would be grooming and pedophilic wrongs accusations, and charges today (for some fans) bc of those same patriarchal, classist privileges that many green stans excuse Otto and any of Alicent's sons for having, enjoying since birth, and actively, willingly, and consciously using to their advantage. No, 30 yr olds should not have sexual access to literal teens of any level (early, mid, late....18-19 yrs olds are dicy for me), but if you are going to hate book!Daemon for his interactions with Rhaenyra, you cannot exonerate Aegon II for the 12 yr old or Otto for pimping out his 15 yr old. As for general exploitation of women, Aemond, again, made Alys his war prize/personal sexual slave-- doesn't matter her older age.

I remember ozymalek talking about the phenomenon of people buying too much into the problematic elements of the world they are reading the story, and then using them to exculpate their favs of ALL wrongs and flaws.

Also, agreed especially on the social norms being shown (not told) in exactly why and how those norms need to become abnorms.

I've had an ask saying that "we can't blame Alicent for hating bastards" and I was like 🤨. No, I absolutely can, just as I dislike Catelyn. I can understand why shed be upset with the notion that her husband cheated and refuses to name the other woman, as well as forcing her to raise her kids with his love child by said mysterious woman (using modern terms bc Im personalizing), but I feel differently for Catelyn than I do Alicent.

Alicent was never really about starting a war specifically to protect her kids such as gaining power through her kids (even though she also did love them, that's not up for debate). Rhaenyra's children posed little threat to Alicent or her kids and Jon Snow became a loyal and close sibling to the others (treating people well and like they are family when you live in a world where blood family can be literally what helps you to survive can do wonders).

Catelyn woke up one day and found out her husband, who she learned to love over the years, was unfaithful. It changed how she saw Ned, herself, and tainted her whole future perspective of people around her. For Catelyn it was always personal and there is a level of trauma attached. For Alicent, nah.

Both dislike bastards, but for slightly different reasons with both getting much of their dislike for bastards from their Faith religion and family including children born not to a person's spouse. Yet neither are justified in their hatred towards the respective bastards in their life because such an element in this world is itself unfair and discriminatory....

*EDIT* Part of Catelyn's self-justification is that Jon could steal away or endanger her own kids in trying to become lord of Winterfell. Alicent may have cited that Rhaenyra would kill her and her kids in the green council, but Rhaenyra was not the sort to do so without provocation (and usurpation is a provocation, of which Alicent engineered herself with no one threatening her or her kids as soon as her first kid was born). Alicent has made it her mission to socially isolate Rhaenyra, and Catelyn did something similar with Jon, but Catelyn has never plotted against Jon. Catelyn also didn't calculatedly seek to isolate Jon for the sake of political power she would use through her kids either. She just hates him because he reminds her of when her world was ruined and had to be redone, of betrayal. Buoyed by her faith.

So I feel way more sympathetic towards Catelyn than I do Alicent, even with the agrument of the Dance being unreliable and those saying that Alicent could very well be like the show!Alicent--just trying to protect her kids and manipulated by Otto into installing her son, using her "wits".

Problems with those arguments is that show!Alicent is half of book!Alicent with the: relationship-w/-Rhaenyra change and age change. Alicent was older than Rhaenyra and, reading between the lines and how after her reaction to Viserys keeping Rhaenyra as heir despite Aegon's birth, Alicent absolutely wanted power for powers sake, primarily. NOT for her son's safety. She felt entitled to having her son be one king because he was a boy and she felt entitled to become mother to the King ( or if it was an actual title in Westeros, Queen Mother) and become number one woman aside from her own daughter, who herself would also just be under her and her house's influence. She felt entitled because that was tradition and as much power given to women, usually, when they reached what was made the "top" for them. I would go to say that Alicent felt that she earned it.

This aspect of her shouldn't have been taken from her. Added onto, yes. But not reduced or removed altogether. Kept for her father. And certainly not motivated by a "love" for a girl that realistically she would have never cared about above her own search for patriarchally-assured power in a world where women are barred from the real highest positions of power.

I imagine/speculate that book!Alicent made a quiet compromise with herself as many girls and women do on how to both gain power and not alert men around them by trying for too much--by being Queen Consort/mother to the King, the thing fashioned for noblewomen to be the "best". Trouble is that, I think, she also felt she had to believe it, buy into it 100%. Catelyn is similar.

This entire context is undermined by the concept of her, somehow, trying to save Rhaenyra's life after going after her for years or be her best friend or being her best friend for years without these two actually having any sort of base (at least shown and proven to the audience). It was never about her kids or being close to a woman, because book!Alicent gave up on other women a long time ago. These sorts of women tend to do so.

And to be honest, it makes so much more sense to me, that a woman raised in such a conservative world and one of the most conservative places in such a "world" (Oldtown, where the Faith flourishes and has the most influence), would be so greedy for power. Made to suppress much and sacrifice or never dream of anything for herself, it makes sense why this person/a woman in this context could and did reach for the highest positions of power while convincing herself that she deserved it before an actual woman can come to her own autonomous power (Rhaenyra) all along.

I guess this is where Catelyn has another similarity to Alicent. Along with the romance angle, she also feels that, after years of marriage and real love she didn't deserve to be betrayed and after having had actual power in her household when her father gave her that ability (within the context of women, again, not having the same opportunities as men and knowing that since childhood). Her husband was meant to be hers to have a family with and to have had intimacy with. She also didn't really pay much mind to other women if it can get her support for her son (the young girl who is set to marry her brother and her simple thoughts of the girl having good child bearing hips is a nuanced event).

At the same time, admittedly, Catelyn is still less hateful to me since:

A) I can see how she thinks with the POVs style of narrator, so I'm immersed in her pain and it's easier to sympathize whereas with Alicent I'm going off way more on recorded actions and some personal experience (as a woman)

B) Catelyn isn't going against a woman who herself would become something better for other women--a Queen Regnant

C) Catelyn feels much less like a person concerned with making sure everything stays traditional and actually (after Jon's gone to the Wall) doesn't think apart from her family, which is more appealing to me personally.

D) I simply prefer Rhaenyra's troubling-status quo character for its troubling of the status quo.

So I do have some prejudice against Alicent, but I don't think all of it is unfounded or unjustified. *END OF EDIT*

[mongooseblues]

hi!!! sorry for the random message or if u don’t want to answer this, but i’m curious about the story between cal and rafie! did their marriage go south or did it simply not work out?

So I’ve received this question a couple times now, and the answer is, as divorce tends to be, very sad. But if you want to know, I’ll put an explanation I wrote a while ago under the cut here.

Most importantly, more so than the details, for the purposes of the context and the way I share these two here, I just feel the need to impress that there was a lot of love there. These little moments I’ve been sharing are no less important or enjoyable or sweet to either of them in retrospect post divorce, so if you do read this, I hope they aren’t anything less to you either 💕

First a couple excerpts.

[ From a tonally… difficult snzfic I may or may not ever finish: ]

People would ask “What happened?” and Cal would not really have much of an answer because there wasn’t anything concrete enough to point at. The best way he could think to describe what happened was so vague it failed to satisfy anyone who asked:

“We were off balance and we just sort of… tipped over.”

[ And from a roleplay I’m doing with @gay-for-the-snz — involves Cal & Elliott (Myles’s character) (excerpt w/permission) ]

“Why would anyone divorce you?” Elliott asks, and then, “I mean- you don’t have to— um, sorry that was an inappropriate thing to ask, I—”

“No no, it’s okay I can answer.”

Part of Cal wants to explain himself, to interject vain annotations into his story, supply his hollow footnotes — there was no adultery, no abuse or neglect, we didn’t fall in love with other people, we didn’t fall out of love with each other — but ultimately at the end of it all the answer to the question was very simple.

Cal retrieves his gaze from the middle distance to meet Elliott’s and offers a melancholy half-smile. “I fucked up.”

- - -

What happened, roughly:

Rafael had deep struggles, most of which involved his parents, he was previously abused. Cal always treated him with kid gloves because he was fragile, vulnerable, a bird with a broken wing Cal could help.

You don’t expect someone with a broken wing to meet your needs if that is how you see them. So you don’t ask. The problem compounds. You become used to filling your emotional needs elsewhere. It feels like asking too much from your broken winged person. They have too much going on. They are too fragile to give and that’s become okay with you. You don’t expect it from them.

They are hurt. Did you not consider them capable of giving? Why didn’t you just ask for what you needed? Why did you let them take so much of you? Where did you hide yourself? Who did you give yourself to instead? Who did you let meet your needs? Why do you share more with your colleagues than you do with them? Why are they only hearing this information at dinner parties? Do you not even trust them with your needs? Do you not even want it from them anymore? What kind of a relationship is that?

They tried. They went to marriage counseling. Cal had become so used to functioning the way he had been over the years, so used to not just expecting nothing but wanting nothing, being okay with nothing, feeling that nothing was more than justified from someone who needed so much themself.

And then there were still more tragedies in Rafie’s life, tragedies Cal couldn’t stop himself from trying to carry him through. Rafie tried to ask, to turn the focus to Cal, but every time he did it felt like pestering him. Interrogating him. Cal tried to share more, but there were so many times he couldn’t bring himself to when Rafie’s life was so much more dramatic, so much more worthy of help and attention, when Cal’s struggles felt like nothing in comparison.

One of Cal’s struggles in particular did affect Rafie. His father, very ill at that point, lived with them for seven months. He demanded Cal’s attention and Rafie’s too. Cal felt that was more than enough to have saddled Rafie with, so he didn’t really share his grief when it was finally over. Cal’s father’s presence in their lives had already been a strain as it was. And Cal had insisted the whole time that he’d already resolved his relationship with his father, that he didn’t need to speak about it or expend emotional energy towards it.

But then Cal’s father, who previously didn’t support their relationship, began to call Rafie ‘beta,’ (son, in Hindi) as Alzheimer’s rendered his prior opinions obsolete, like none of it ever mattered. And finally, finally Cal broke down. He let Rafie in, he let himself weigh as much as he did. Rafie had never felt closer to him. But it was over as quickly as it began. Cal insisted he had grieved throughout his father’s illness, so he didn’t need to grieve too much more. Their balance resettled, tipped back over to one side. One of Rafie’s aunts died, Cal decided it was no longer his turn to grieve anyway.

Cal also wanted kids, desperately, but Rafie didn’t, and Cal decided that that was fine, and that hurt Rafie too that Cal would just give up elements of his happiness, to settle.

In reality, Cal really did love Rafie enough to be okay with not having kids. His desire for an amicable marriage was more important than his own wants, time after time.

Cal never even brought it up because Rafie was so expressive about his aversion to the idea. So Cal decided he felt that way too. Rafie overheard Cal say it to someone else one night, a friend, admit he wanted kids but Rafie didn’t and it wasn’t a big deal. This friend already knew this information, and it’s clear Cal had talked about it extensively to this person before.

This was a final straw, it felt to Rafie very much like betrayal that he could have shared himself so completely with another person and for them not to believe in him enough—in his stability, his emotional strength, his capacity to receive such info—to do the same.

Rafie’s family is very important to him and was very central in both of their lives. By this point Cal was alone in terms of family in the U.S. Rafie’s family was his too. Rafie had an outlet for family, and he helped to raise his own siblings, he felt no need for children. There were children all around him — the children of his siblings, of his cousins. A big Dominican family with frequent gatherings and parties.

Losing them was a whole other loss. Cal lost an entire family — the only one he really had. Over a dozen separate little heartbreaks. Cal lost the nieces and nephews he saw almost as his own children, because he failed to tell his partner such critical information as that he wanted that too.

A subtle tragedy that occurred one quiet moment at a time over the course of years. A collapse so agonizingly slow it was hard sometimes to even register it was looming, as Cal’s fingers slipped from something that, by the end, he was unsure it was even fair for him to be holding onto.

[ One more excerpt. If I ever do end up posting a fic called Social Contract Theory, this and the first quoted section are from that: ]

It feels unfair, at least psychically, for Cal’s internal monologue to just be repeatedly thinking that he’ll never fully forgive himself for this, because the man is just trying to be friendly and present and have a conversation and even unspoken Cal is sure Rafie can see regret all over his face, in his posture, in the energy emanating from his body and it could easily be making him uncomfortable and Cal really doesn’t want to have made him feel a single additional negative emotion.

It is exceptionally difficult to separate from someone you have no hard feelings toward because there is nothing to propel you away from them.

The wake of it—the wake of Rafie—is enormous.

[mafia-skz-bot]

Mafia Chat-Bot

Disclaimers: This Chat Bot is a Mafia Chat Bot. It contains extreme elements. Please do not interact if you are younger then 18. This also is no way or form represents stray kids, Ateez, or NCT personalities. 

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Prompts:

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, always seen as a spoiled child, but his rich family doesn’t define him. As heir to the Seoul Mafia, He is nothing less than ruthless and will not hesitate to put someone in their place, even if it may be six feet under. Even though he has a dark past and an even darker future, the one thing he knows he will always have is you, whether you agree to it or not.

He was a poor kid, his parents not even being able to support themselves. When he was kicked out he found himself living in cheap motels and sleeping at bus stops. Despite his struggles to keep himself going, he pushed through his shifts at the local gas station with dreams of rising to the top and seeking revenge on his parents. All his dreams suddenly seemed to become possible when you lead him into your dangerous life of drugs, violence, and most importantly to him, money.

His life was never anything but abusive. Between his father’s drunkenness and his mother’s adultery, all he wanted was peace, something he could only find being with you. Not being able to take it anymore, he ran away, pulling you along with him, and somehow getting himself involved with a gang in the process. Unfortunately, he wasn’t aware of what he was getting himself into. 

He came from a rich family, his parents giving him anything he could possibly wish for. Although his life looked perfect from the outside, on the inside his dad’s infidelities were ripping the family apart.  A new hooker every week sent the family in a downward spiral until he chose the wrong whore. You. He didn’t get very far with you, as you assassinated him and his wife before he even laid a hand on you. Little did you know about their son, and as he began to seek revenge, he quickly realizes how intoxicating you really are.

He was born an orphan, never knowing his parents. His mom too young to raise a child, his dad nowhere to be found. Jumping from foster-home to foster-home he never knew what love felt like. When he turned eight-teen he was forced into the world with nowhere to go. He had no choice but to turn to a life of illegal dealings of weapons and false documents, but when he met you his whole life turned upside down. Little did he know, you were the daughter of his biggest buyer, the boss of a Mafia.

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, his parents well off. He was a wonderful student and an even better son. He was sent off to a prestigious boarding school across the country, which was widely known. With fame comes jealousy and danger, and suddenly his perfect life of studies and riches was burst into flames. All it took was one school shooting, the blood of his friends staining his white uniform. Suddenly he was a completely different person, setting out to get revenge on the group that murdered his friends, and in the process crossed your path discovering your common past and goal. 

He had always been the cunning type and although intelligent, often blinded by his desires. Though his rich family was commonly targeted by violence, he didn’t let that stop him from sneaking out to see you. He had never been happier until your head gained a target as well, a near-death experience being to close for comfort. He swore he would protect you, and if that meant joining a gang and taking others lives, then so be it...

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[hir-nin-thranduil]

RPing The Elvenking

"Elves marry for love, or at least with free will from both parties, typically early in life. Monogamy is practiced and adultery is unthinkable.[3]:229 By their very nature, they are "seldom swayed by the desires of the body" or influenced by lust.[2]:211 They marry only once for it was ruled by Manwë that, "'since the Elves are by nature permanent in life within Arda, so also is their unmarred marriage.'"[4]:225 Finwë, first High King of the Noldor, was an exception. After his first wife died, from passing the majority of her life into Fëanor,[5]:237 and refused to be re-embodied, Finwë was permitted to marry again. This was pronounced by Námo as the 'Doom of Finwë and Míriel'.[4]:226" (Reference: http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Elven_life_cycle)

Since 95% of my RP requests revolve around potential romance, I thought it important to post this blog. To be clear, I’m not trying to imply that I won’t write love stories and the like. If we can't live out our fantasies in Roleplay, than where can we?

My purpose is to forewarn any interested parties that it's not going to be easy. Not only because of the Lore posted above, but because Thranduil has heaps of emotional baggage. The death of his wife shattered him...and Elves can literally die from grief. "For the Elves die not till tile world dies, unless they are slain or waste in grief." (The Silmarillion). I think The Elvenking found the will to survive, not only for his people and his kingdom, but more importantly, his son.

That being said, it's damn hard for me to imagine that Thranduil is in any hurry to put himself in a position where that could happen again. Plus, there is the shadow of his late wife to consider, his obvious love and devotion to her could cause him to feel that he’s betraying her memory. There’s also a great deal of guilt because he most likely feels responsible for her death. This is of course my own brain dribble. I don't believe his wife is even mentioned in the original lore. But according to the films she died as a prisoner at Gundabad. If anyone doesn't think he feels responsible for being unable to rescue her, then they just don't know Thranduil.

Why do we think he's so obsessed with reclaiming the Gems of Lasgalen? Sure, they're heirlooms of his people and probably worth quite a lot...but Elves aren't greedy or concerned with material gain. These gems were basically stolen from him when he commissioned a necklace for his wife....and in his mind, they sort of represent the last link he has to her - particularly that necklace. He couldn't rescue her, but perhaps he could rescue those gems. It’s symbolic and psychological. It is for this reason that I believe he is willing to go to war over something like this and risk the lives of himself and his warriors.

That's also probably why his grudge against the Dwarves is so intense that he refused to help during their time of great need. He warned Thror of "what his greed would summon" (AKA: A Dragon). So he probably felt that they got what they deserved. Plus I really don't think Thranduil is in any hurry to go up against another dragon after the injuries he suffered in the past. 

Since he was somehow unable to rescue his late wife, he may also feel that he deserves the loneliness and isolation that he now endures, simply because he could not/did not save her. Which is another reason he may choose to actually deprive himself of the solace he might find with a new lover.

Also, I don't control my muses...they call the shots. I honestly can't guarantee much of anything...except perhaps angsty feelz and lots of sarcasm. My advice? Well, The Elvenking is over 7,500 years old. There's probably almost nothing he hasn't already seen and done. Most of his life is probably a blur of repetition. Conventional Beauty alone just isn't going to cut it....I mean, he's surrounded by other gorgeous Elves all the time. If a character has any hope of attracting his attention and interest, they're going to have to be unique and/or stir something deep within his soul.

Also...I know there are a lot of people who like to imagine Thranduil with a human lover. As I mentioned earlier, the grief from losing his wife nearly killed him...so why would he ever choose to go through that again...particularly with someone who's guaranteed to die? "A hundred years is a mere blink in the life of an Elf"....his words, not mine.

On the flip side of this, if anyone is curious about why I AM willing to lorebend and write romance/erotica with Thranduil in spite of all the evidence against it's likelihood:

Well, Elves are meant to be incredibly wise and much more advanced than other peoples of Middle Earth, therefore I'm inclined to feel that they're probably more progressive than their Old Fashioned Christian creator originally intended. I of course, say this with the utmost respect and admiration for J.R.R. Tolkien and his legacy. He's one of my personal heroes, and as you can clearly see, I'm a huge fan/nerd.

As we all know, Peter Jackson and his crew took plenty of liberties and bent/broke the original lore. The Elvenking we know and love from the films is quite different from one we read about in the books. He's also inspired by Thingol, and to a lesser extent, Fëanor (the Gems of Lasgalen were said to be loosely inspired by the Silmarils). Anyway, as a fellow writer/creative person, I guess I feel justified in doing the same as long as it is in the interest of good storytelling and fun RP, while also within reason. I enjoy writing romance as much as anyone else.

There are obviously purists and others who would disagree with me, and that's fine. This is just my personal stance. Feel free to contact me with questions or concerns. 

Thanks for reading.

P.S. AUs are an unconventional method of writing romance with Thranduil. This blog refers to when I write him strictly canon.

[ikagrp]

Welcome, Kili! You’ve been accepted as your first choice of Lili Reinhart as Riley Eastwood. Please send in your account within the next 24 hours.

Also, please follow these tags: ikag starter, Ikag social, ikaghh, ikag important, ikag task, ikagfollow, ikagunfollow and   ikag event

NAME / PRONOUNS | AGE | TIMEZONE

Kili/ she/her / 26 / Eastern

YOUR ACTIVITY:

I have a full time job, and a typical life mixed in with indie roleplay. If I were to give you a range possibly a 6 or 7 out of the number system.

ROLEPLAYING EXPERIENCE

I’ve been roleplaying since I was nine years old. Zoinks.

WHO ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE SHOW?

FACECLAIM: Lili Reinhart

Secondary choice: (Just in case) n/a

NAME: Riley Ember Eastwood. 

AGE: 23

BIRTHDAY: May 13th 1995

19OCCUPATION: (union) production assistant ( PA )

HOMETOWN: Savannah, Georgia. 

PETS: Ragdoll cat named Margot & golden pompapoo poddle named Otis. 

BIOGRAPHY:

   Riley Eastwood, 23, was born in Savannah Georgia to Isaac and Ruby Eastwood. She is the only child. That being said, she was raised with coddled arms of her mother securely around her. Her mother was always leaning over boundaries with drastic concern. Riley had a bee sting in the second grade leaving only a small puffy mount on her hand, and her mother treated it as if she was in a life or death situation. Ruby was a cookie-cutter house wife who made sure her daughter was as much involved in school and community activities as she was. In Riley’s spry, and innocent youth, she found her mother to be her best friend, but once she hit the years of being a teenager… the woman made her want to scream. That was when she found the simplicity of lying with a believable smile to her parents just before slipping out her window against any approval. Her father, Isaac, an Air-traffic controller died down his wife’s career in real-estate for her to fulfill her needs of keeping close to their daughter, and having the home well prepared for him at the end of his busy days. Her mother began to despise the slow control Isaac was having over her, having stripped her from her occupation and individualism. He kept her tidy to making their family look straight out of a happy-go-lucky magazine with hosting events. It all lead Ruby to an affair. To this day the affair continues, and Riley is the only one who knows of her mother’s adultery–but she can’t say she blames her mother. Her family just was a different image behind the curtains of the typical show they put on.

  Entering years of personal development, Riley never found herself attracted to boys. Her mother was always trying to set her up with the most popular and political name in town. “You need to be with someone sophisticated who will end up being a doctor.. Or a lawyer. Don’t waste your time with that boy who works at the cinema.” –Little did her mother know that Riley wasn’t interested in boys at all. However, she had dated ‘that boy from the cinema,’ and Colton had been the only boy Riley had ever loved. Often she wondered if she ever truly loved him on a partnering level, or because he had opened her life up to the world of film. Colton actually listened to what Riley had to say. He wasn’t like her mother who just tried to push whatever interests and opinions she had onto her, or like her friends from school who were just as fake as any suburban cliche.  The first time Riley had spoken to Colton, (their first day working together at the local cinema,) Colton had asked her what made her happy. It left the girl shell-shocked.. No one had ever asked her such a question, nor had anyone actually been interested in what she actually liked. She hadn’t known anything apart from the towns standards, or her mothers.

   It was her first job working with Colton that set her passion free. She was obsessed with film and the entire production that went into creating such a piece of art. (–and she loved the way Colton bled vulnerability into picking it all apart.) The two had dated for a couple of years, and their relationship continued to soar until the boy had decided to go to school in California. It left Riley heartbroken that their relationship would have separation across the country, and she was confused. Yet determined as always, she allowed life to lead her to finding a new path for herself. Riley moved to New York and attended school there. Her mind was set on production, and editing. Often she interned for plays and musicals to assist stage managers. It was a learning experience of fast pace organization and a growth for some thicker skin– but entirely, it had been the only direction Riley had flowed along with that made her happy.

  During one of her chapters on an internship, Riley had found herself tugging to feelings that she hadn’t quite experienced before- an attraction to women. There was one girl in particular that had wrapped her effortlessly around her finger. The girls focus had been slipping with the whirlwind of attraction she had for this girl, and it brought something heavier in her chest that she hadn’t ever felt with Colton. It brought her a realization that she had always had this void with boys. Her and Colton’s communication was dwindling, and Riley was feeling them drift apart. There was a chiding in her mind every time she looked at this girl, yet knew she was still in a relationship with Colton. How she thought about how soft the girls skin would feel when her thoughts should have been directed to her boyfriend. With a secretive passionate kiss behind the curtains of a show one night, guilt washed over Riley and she called her boyfriend in a cry, and told them they couldn’t be together. Riley was always honest. Her poker face was never really good, not even in a tone of her voice. So, she explained to Colton about how she felt, how it felt kissing this girl…and how utterly sorry she was for hurting him. To her surprise, the boy was understanding. At the end of the day, all he cared about was Riley’s happiness, and his heart was too kind to ever blame her when distance was already keeping them apart. He was selfless, and it was something she also learned from him.

 Colton and Riley’s communication was still held, and they became best friends. Cotlon was the only one she could ever express how she felt, too frightened to ever admit to her parents that she was a lesbian. “Col, you know my mom, she brought a priest in the house one day to flick holy water everywhere when she suspected I was having sex…she’s insane..” –A phone call full of Riley chewing on her painted pink nails, and continued sighs. It was that very call that Colton suggested the spontaneously joked idea about Riley auditioning for a show called IKAG. “That’s a fun way to come out. Just go on TV and kiss a bunch of beautiful girls.” The two laughed. The idea was a joke in itself, but after a night of glued eyes on the ceiling, Riley auditioned. 

RELATIONSHIPS:

n/a

[songlesshill]

Lyrics Analysis: Manten (Trans. Full Sky).

This is a repost from my old roleplay blog.

After going through my Itunes playlist & started playing songs I haven’t listened to in a long time, I found myself enraptured by Manten by Kalafina, originally a song used for the ED for the anime Fate/Zero. I know this song for a long, long time, like all the way back in 2014? I can’t believe this song is actually going to be quite old already though, since Fate/Zero was way back in 2011.

But when I listened to Manten once again & read the personal translation I made of the lyrics, I realized how eerily well it fit for Aymeric, so I am going to do another song analysis post!

I will be using translation of the lyrics I personally done in this post, so there may be differences in the translations you have read on other sites.

The stars twinkle, scatter silently in the skies. The unreachable wishes are appeased on heaven and earth

The stars which twinkled then scatter silently within the skies are the lives of the soldiers who are died off in the battlefield against the dragons, as the believe that dying in the war is the most honorable death.

The unreachable prayers are the wishes of those, highborn and lowborn, who had an unreachable wish which was never granted because of the social structure of the Ishgardian government, leaving many to never reach their life’s calling.

On the thin branch shines a future which forgot to bloom, the bud, then yet reluctantly fell.

The forgotten future of peace with Dragonkind, due to the past being long forgotten, covered by the lies created by the clergy to justify the crimes of Thordan. The bud has reluctantly fallen, as many refused to see the truth behind the millennia-long war nor find a true end to stop the everlasting bloodshed.

The unstained whiteness of the snow, will disappear if it knows warmth. The beautiful dream only you ripped apart with the cold eyes of kindness and truth.

The unstained whiteness represents the holy purity all Ishgardians are expected to have in the religious nation the live upon, following the teachings of the clergy. Upon revealing the warmth of truth & revolution, the snow melts and disappears, revealing the ‘ugly’ truth behind the thousand-year war betwixt man & dragon. With his cold eyes of kindness & truth, Aymeric rips apart the ‘beautiful’ dream all lived in, waking up to the reality, where it is not beautiful at all; from the slaying of Ratatoskr & destroying the peace once held between man & dragon.

The violently twinkling stars oppose against the heavens, until the opposing prayer brings the skies down.

The violently twinkling stars represent the disadvantaged souls of Ishgard due to their status of birth, from lowborn to being a result of adultery, they rebel against the clergy to attain the rights they so desperately deserved. The opposing prayer, the prayer of a new Ishgard is what brings the heavens down, spelling an end to the theocracy lead by the archbishop.

I do not need a bouquet of flowers to mourn for me; Grant my wish before my heart collapses.

Being a humble soul, if Aymeric ever failed in bringing a better future for Ishgard, he would have certainly requested his close friends to not mourn him, but grant his wish of the better future before his wish is forgotten.

When time fulfills, I want to see the wishes of people become a bright light. Everyone cried as they begged for wings. Life plays the chorus of the full skies.

Aymeric knows all too well, being a bastard child himself who only got some advantage due to being adopted by a noble family who treated him as their own flesh & blood, that nobody should be defined by the circumstances of their birth. Even if his legal documents say he is a noble, nobody truly treated him as one until he proved himself capable of taking the role of Lord Commander of the Temple Knights.

When a scorched dream wretches open the skies, my dear hometown shall bloom with flowers.

The scorched dream which finally came to fruition, wrenching open the sky of truth which brings upon the revolution. Even if the unbloomed flowers were stepped on, all the citizens of Ishgard persevered, finally blooming to announce a new era for the mountain capital of Ishgard.

The remnants of the stars which violently twinkled.

I believe these remnants of the stars are those who gave their lives to anchor the flame of hope, such as Haurchefant & Ysayle, who sacrificed their lives to the Warrior of Light so they may bring dawn to Ishgard. Though they may have long gone, their spirit lives on as remnants of the stars.

O Moonlight, gently show me the furthest end of the path, where people are in peace.

Mayhaps this can be the earnest of the earnest hopes Aymeric bears within his heart; to see his people at peace at the journey which is still long even after the peace restored to Ishgard. There are many other problems which remain which must be resolved to improve the war-torn nation, so a heavy cross is burdened upon the Lord Commander’s back, which is why he wishes to eventually see the end of his path where his countrymen are at peace.

In the sky of prayers where the stars silently twinkle, until this dream ends with your cries.

Though the stars may no longer violently twinkle & may twinkle silently with the newfound change placed within the new foundation post war, Aymeric’s job is not done being the Lord Speaker. He must continue working for Ishgard to change its old ways, thus his job is never done.

Overall, I believe the entire song represents the pain Aymeric went through in Heavensward to see the dream he feverishly dreamed of & eventually brought about, the journey of burden & labor he went through. The path of pain for him continues even now as he refines the newly reformed Ishgard.

[worthfull1]

Free Pass

I wrote something based on this ask.

Author’s Note: I apologize for this from the bottom of my heart. I’m also going to blame @shayalonnie because she told me not to do it :)

That said, this drabble is not for everyone. Trust me, I know it’s wrong and awful, so if you turn back now, I won’t blame you. If you choose to read on, don’t blame me, I warned you. Contains sex, potion use/abuse, gender swap, simulated adultery, language, etc.

Thanks, Worthfull1

P.S. I own nothing, anything recognizable belongs to the lovely Ms. Rowling.

Free Pass

Potter Manor

August, 1978

“Lupin.”

Looking up from the comfiest chair in the Potter library, Remus nearly dropped his book. In the doorway stood James’ mother, Dorea, in a short, lacy black negligee. She had a drink in one hand and a muggle cigarette dangling from the fingers of the other. As he sat there, dumbstruck, she walked up to him, wobbling a bit in her high heels.

“You’re in France.” Remus winced as his voice broke not once, but twice.

Dorea smirked. “No, dear boy,” she purred. “I was in France. But Charlus decided to visit yet another dreadfully boring museum, and I decided to floo back here for a bit.” The grey eyes of the Black family looked at him meaningfully. “James is out to lunch with his lady love. We have one hour.”

Remus blinked. “Oh,” he breathed. “Well, in that case - ” he marked his place and set the book aside, “ - perhaps we should take this elsewhere.”

Dorea’s only answer was to take a long drag from her cigarette and blow the smoke out slowly, wisps curling seductively around her lips. Remus stood, his chest brushing against hers in the close proximity, and took the drink from her hand. Vodka, he thought, sniffing the liquor before knocking it back. He set the glass on the table and Dorea stubbed out the cigarette in it.

Taking her hand, Remus led her to the room he occupied in the Potter’s home, closing the door behind them and pushing her up against it. He stared at her for a long moment, taking it all in and committing it to memory. Leaning in, he kissed her gently, but when she bit his lip, earning a yelp from him, he growled and unleashed a bit of the wolf.

Dorea refused to capitulate. She grabbed his arse and pulled him against her hard as his hands went to her breasts. The two grappled with each other as they stumbled to the bed. Remus fell onto the mattress with an oof! and Dorea immediately climbed aboard, straddling him.

She ran her hands up his front, feeling the hard muscles of his stomach and chest contract as he leaned up just enough to help her rid him of his shirt. His hands went under her negligee and he groaned. She wasn't wearing knickers.

“Fuck,” Remus whined as Dorea shed the scrap of fabric, baring herself to his gaze.

She was beautiful. Her breasts hung a bit lower than they might have on a younger woman, and there was just a bit more of her around her stomach and hips, but Remus was entranced. His hands followed his eyes, tracing the swells and valleys of her while she made short work of his belt and fly.

Dorea scrambled backwards off the bed, taking his trousers with her. Remus lifted his hips to help and moaned when she reached for his erection. Her help was unneeded as he was already hard as a rock, but he wasn't about to ask her to stop.

“Ready for me?” she asked with a smirk.

“Yeah,” Remus replied breathlessly.

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the head of his cock, then made her way up, kissing and nibbling up his body until she she reached his mouth. Remus grabbed her head and kissed her deeply while she maneuvered herself into position. Reaching between them, she lined him up and slowly sank down on him.

“Ahh,” Remus moaned, breaking the kiss. A wet heat engulfed him and his eyes rolled. He’d never felt anything like her.

Dorea chuckled and mouthed at his neck. “How do you like that, my boy?” she murmured, rolling her hips.

Remus was incoherent. He couldn’t form words so he grabbed her hips and thrust up into her, hoping that would make his point. It did. She got the hint and began riding him in earnest. Bracing her hands on his chest, she angled her hips to hit that spot and her eyes fluttered when she succeeded.

Remus found his voice. “Come on,” he urged, moving his hand to where they were joined, “come for me. I need to feel you come.”

“Oh, yes,” she moaned. “Right there. Right… there…”

Suddenly Dorea’s eyes flew open and she seized up, tightening around him like a vice. Her manicured nails dug into his chest and Remus clenched his teeth to keep from coming with her. She let out a loud wail and her head dropped, her long hair brushing him as her body pulsed and rippled with her orgasm. Finally she gasped and looked at him.

“Wow.”

Remus growled and flipped them, wasting no time in ducking his head and taking a mouthful of breast, suckling her hard enough to leave a mark. Growling and grunting, he chased his own orgasm, pounding into her while she pulled his hair and raked her nails down his back.

“Ah! Yes… yes… yes!” Remus lost his rhythm and bucked into her erratically as he found release. He panted harshly against her skin and licked at the bite he’d left on her chest, then pulled out and collapsed to the side, flopping onto his back just as her body began to shift and change.

“You’re awfully good at this roleplay stuff,” Remus remarked once he’d caught his breath. Sirius, who now lay beside him in his natural state, preened. “So, what’s it like being a woman?”

“Interesting,” Sirius said, grabbing a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand and lighting it. “Vaginas are weird,” he remarked. “What’s it like fucking a woman?”

“Interesting,” Remus mimicked, stealing the smoke and taking a drag. “Wet, soft,” he added. “All in all, not bad, but I prefer fucking you.”

“‘Course you do,” Sirius said immediately, but Remus had caught the slight worry on his face. “Fucking me is one of life’s greatest pleasures.”

Remus laughed. “So, is that going to be your free pass? You’ll have me turn into you so you can fuck yourself? Literally?”

“That is tempting,” Sirius played along, grinning, “but, no. You got to fuck a woman, I think it only fair that I get the same opportunity.”

“Fine,” Remus agreed, grimacing. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but fair was fair. “You know I’m never drinking absinthe again, right?”

Sirius laughed at the memory. Graduation night had found him and Sirius on the Astronomy Tower doing unspeakable things to each other and sharing a bottle of the green liquor which, it turned out, made Remus incredibly loose-lipped, much to Sirius’ delight. Before he knew it, the sandy-haired wizard was spilling his darkest desires, admitting to having a hard-on for James’ mother, and agreeing to some very interesting experimentation.

“So, who’s it going to be, then?” he asked, looking over to see Sirius grinning wickedly. His stomach dropped.

“Oh, I’ll let you know,” Sirius answered airily, visions of hair pulled back in a stern bun and tartan robes dancing in his head.