#because he lacks freedom he also lacks the opportunity to be both as a complex multifaceted person

[golvio]

Sometimes I wonder if I write Ghirahim too butch or if the fandom is just completely wrong about him.

[aspoonofsugar]

Just Another Cinderella Story

Cinderella is the Queen of Fairy Tales and one of the most universally known stories, with at least 345 different versions. So, it is no surprise this allusion is so relevant in RWBY, which gives it to one of its key characters and a Queen in her own right ;)

Not only is Cinder’s allusion at the root of her tragic past, but it is also important for her current storyline thanks to a series of symbols and motifs elegantly interwoven into the narrative. This meta will explore said imagery by focusing on 4 key elements found in all Cinderellas stories:

Evil Stepmother

Fairy Godparent

Prince

Slippers

The Stepmother, the Godparent and the Prince are found in the series twice: in Cinder’s background and in the main story itself. This shows that Cinder is stuck in the cycle of abuse. No matter how powerful she becomes or that she is now an adult. Deep down she is still a broken child, who can’t find her freedom.

When it comes to the Slippers, they are instead present in at least 4 different shapes, which makes them incredibly important for Cinder’s arc. They foreshadow the outcome of her story and can be used to explore Cinder’s character in all her complexity. In short, just like in the fairy-tale, they tell us who the real Cinder is, what is her major conflict and the characters, who’ll help her deal with it.

Let’s now start dancing with our Cinderella and see the woman who appears once midnight strikes!

CINDERELLA’S FIRST DANCE

You're no good I hope you know That your life is of no use And the truth is that No one's ever loved you

At her root, Cinder is a child, who is unloved in 2 different ways.

On the one hand there is an Evil Stepmother, who hates her:

On the other hand there is a Fairy Godfather, who does not love her enough:

Madame’s violence and abuse and Rhodes’s indifference and weak love are why Cinder is who she is. In a sense:

Cinder: Without you I am nothing. But because of you, I am everything.

Madame and Rhodes were Cinder’s everything and even now everything Cinder is can be traced back to them. Symbolically, their failure as parents runs so deep that Cinder doesn’t even get a chance to go to the dance:

Rhodes: Then we’ve got about seven years.

Cinder: For what?

Rhodes: To train you for the Huntsman exam.

Cinder’s big festival is meant to be the Huntsman exam, where she can show the world who she really is. Not a worthless slave, but a skilled Huntress. However, the Evil Stepmother’s hate and the Fairy Godfather’s lack of love make so Cinder never gets this opportunity and she slips deeper into the cracks of the system.

At the same time, Rhodes does not play only the part of the Fairy Godmother, but also that of the Prince, which means he fails Cinder in an additional way.

Deep down, what Cinder wants is not to be a Huntress, but to be free and loved. This is why Rhodes becomes a beacon of hope in her horrible life. She imitates his hairstyle, looks forward to his visits and is sad whenever he leaves. This turns their sparring sessions under the moonlight into true dances:

Ozpin: If you think about it, fighting and dancing aren't so different. Two partners interlocked, although one wrong move on the ballroom merely leads to a swollen foot.

After their dance, the Prince is supposed to meet Cinderella covered in ashes and dirt. However, he still recognizes the beautiful girl thanks to the slipper and takes her to the palace. This is what Rhodes is supposed to do. He should see Cinder for who she is and accept everything about her. However, he doesn’t. The moment midnight comes and Cinder shows herself in all her complexity, Rhodes refuses her and brings tragedy to them both.

The Prince’s refusal forces Cinderella to fight for her freedom. In the process, she takes her 2 Slippers by force:

Rhodes’s Twin Swords are important plot devices in Cinder’s flashback, as they drive Cinder’s actions and kick in both Cinder and Rhodes’s first meeting and Cinder killing her adoptive family. At the same time, they clearly serve as Cinder’s first pair of Slippers. She uses them to “dance” with her Prince during their training sessions and she is given one as a memory of their last meeting:

Moreover, she is promised the other once she is ready to become a true Huntress (aka a Princess):

Rhodes: Just a few more years and you won’t need your guardian’s permission. You’ll be free.

Finally, as all weapons, the Twins Swords are metaphors for Cinder’s true self:

Just weapons? They're an extension of ourselves! They're a part of us! Oh, they're so cool.

To be more specific, they are intertwined with Cinder’s wish for freedom in 2 complementary ways:

They symbolize power, which Cinder wants to use to free herself (active)

They are gifts from a loved one, who can free Cinder (passive)

Cinder is both a violent victim, who wants to punish her tormentors and a victimized child, who wants to be given care and gifts. She wants not to be hurt and to matter for someone. She is angry and hungry. This is her duality, which is conveyed by the Swords. She manages to walk on a fine line between these 2 sides of herself until Rhodes betrays her. By this point, she has her dream of love and care broken and is left with only a longing for power.

However, she can’t free herself with that. Cinder needs both to affirm who she is through her own inner strength (active) and to be helped by someone in doing so (passive). How can she succeed, though? To discover it, let’s see how her Cinderella story is repeating itself in the present and if there is any hope for the cycle to be broken.

THE EVIL GODMOTHER’S SLIPPERS

Salem is the Evil Godmother, who combines the Evil Stepmother and the Fairy Godmother. She is basically a mix between Madame and Rhodes, in terms of both Cinder’s desires and of Cinder’s abuse.

It is clear Cinder envies both her “parents”. On the one hand she wants Madame’s power and status. On the other hand she wants Rhodes’s freedom. These ideas manifest in Cinder’s persona and demeanor. She dresses like the Madame, but fights like Rhodes. She wants to be at the very top of the system, like Madame in her eyes is. However, she also desires to be an outsider, like she believes Rhodes to be:

Cinder: Like you? You can do whatever you want, go wherever you want.

This is why she exhibits conflicting behaviors. She presents herself as a force of chaos, who refuses society’s hierarchies and rules:

Cinder: You Atlas elites are all the same! You think hoarding power means you'll have it forever, but it just makes the rest of us hungrier. And I refuse to starve.

However, she deep down keeps applying classism to herself and others:

Watts: You think you're entitled to everything just because you've suffered, but suffering isn't enough! You can't just be strong, you have to be smart! You can't just be deserving, you have to be worthy! But all you have ever been, is a bloody migrane!

She wants to destroy society, but also for others to see she is at the very top of it. This is why Salem, who is somehow outside the system (she is literally above the cycle of life and death) and yet controls it becomes the mentor Cinder wants to emulate.

At the same time, Salem is Cinder’s bad parents in one and traps Cinder in abuse, just like Madame and Rhodes did.

In her childhood, Madame is Cinder’s abuser that forces her to obey through pain and fear. Rhodes brings instead dreams and wishes into Cinder’s life. He promises a better future in exchange of her being a good girl, who handles her abuse “correctly”:

Rhodes: But hurting them isn’t going to make your life any better. You can run, but you’re going to be running for the rest of your life. Or you could find another way to handle it.

Madame embodies fear and Rhodes embodies wishes. Together they are why Cinder is unable to leave the Glass Unicorn. Salem obtains the same result, but manages on her own.

She controls Cinder through fear and violence:

And manipulates her through promises and desires:

She uses both weapons according to how she needs Cinder to feel and to behave. In this way, she balances being Cinder’s abuser (Madame) and her mentor (Rhodes).

However, the desire Salem promises to fulfill is just a pale imitation of Rhodes’s one. Rhodes represents freedom and love, while Salem embodies power. This is because Cinder has given up on the formers and has shifted her focus towards the latter:

Cinder: I want to be strong. I want to be feared. I want to be powerful.

Salem promises to turn Cinder into a copy of herself and delivers through costumized slippers:

It is not by chance Cinder’s emblem appears on her back the moment she takes Amber’s powers. It symbolizes that the Maiden powers are the Slippers Salem is using to make Cinder dance for her. This is also why, the moment she gets the powers, Cinder burns Midnight and starts making her own weapons out of magic and glass:

It is as if she is trying to overcome Rhodes by making a statement. She does not need his teachings and weapons anymore because she can now make magical slippers out of thin air. She is a Cinderella that needs no Fairy Godmother nor Prince. Still, Cinder’s Maiden powers are not really hers, but rather Salem’s and they come with the side effect of slowly turning Cinder into a Grimm, just like those she used to clean:

Cinder’s hunger for power is only trapping her into abuse and servitude. She does not realize that her current slippers are rooted in Destruction and leading her towards monstrosity, rather than humanity. Still, if there is Darkness, there is also Light and Salem’s Grimm Slippers are juxtaposed to the Prince’s Silver Slippers:

Maria: The Creatures of Grimm were made by the God of Darkness, but your light comes from his brother.

THE PRINCE’S SLIPPERS

Ruby and Cinder’s connection is set up in volume 2, when Cinder goes to the dance under the condition she must be back before midnight:

Emerald: It appears all the dancers have partners.

Cinder: How long do I have?

Mercury: You should probably be home by midnight, to be safe.

Her magical evening has her dancing with a young charming Little Red Riding Hood:

And losing her glass slipper (her weapons and clothes), so that she can disappear into the crowd and leave her pursuers with questions and mystery.

Ruby meeting Cinder the night of the dance and after Ozpin draws a parallel between dancing and fighting leaves no doubt: Ruby is the Prince, who will see Cinder for who she is and save her. To fulfill this role, Ruby is equipped with her very own pair of slippers:

Ozpin: Ruby Rose... You... have silver eyes.

In The Wizard of Oz Dorothy’s slippers are silver, just like Ruby’s eyes, which RWBY’s Wizard himself conveniently points out for the viewers to notice.

However, the Prince’s first attempt to use her Slippers on Cinderella does not really work out. It becomes instead a traumatic moment for both girls. Ruby activates her eyes out of shock and grief, freezes a giant Wyvern and strips Cinder of her new-found powers kickstarting her quest for revenge. Cinder is defeated when she thinks to be invincible and this leaves a huge psychological scar, which she tries to hide with arrogance, anger and hate. At the root of this failure, there is this:

Ruby: You said the light only reacts to Grimm, but... I used it during our battle at Haven. It reacted to Cinder.

Maria: “Maybe there was something there you just weren’t seeing”

Right now, Ruby is unable to properly see Cinder because Cinder is doing her damn best to hide her victimhood and humanity. She presents herself as a monster to hide her vulnerability and Ruby’s challenge will be to see the person behind the grimm. The Child eaten by the Big Bad Wolf, as @misstrashchan​ explains in this great meta. Only in this way Cinder can escape midnight and the time that stopped with Rhodes’s death can start running once again.

This is also why the setting of their first dance will probably be the stage of their final one:

Beacon Tower is a giant clock and its fall symbolizes both the Beacon of Hope losing its Light and the Time being frozen, just like the Grimm at its top:

Taiyang: Things at Vale are under control, but the school... It's... it's not that simple. That thing, whatever it is, doesn't seem to be dead. Don't get me wrong, you did a number on it. But it's not disappearing. It's... kind of... frozen. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but it keeps attracting more Grimm to the school.

The Wyvern is symbolic of all the characters’ trauma. It is a monster which is now where once the light was, like an untreated festering wound. It is Ruby’s trauma, that she buries deep within herself, so that it is inoffensive, but also impossible to solve. It is Cinder’s who is pushed into the shadows of society, until she becomes strong and dangerous enough to resurface and bring destruction. Just like the giant Grimm. So, for the 2 characters to solve their respective issues, it makes sense that they would meet again where their relationship began. This time, though, they can do things properly: the Hunter saves the Child and Cinderella is freed.

Thematically, both characters will be asked to choose between Creation and Destruction. Will Ruby choose to save or to kill with her eyes? Will she see Cinder as the Grimm that she has become or as the child she once was? And will Cinder choose Salem (a mother figure, the past) or Ruby (a child, the future)?  Will it be power or choice that grants her freedom? And what will Cinder do once unchained? Who will she be when Midnight comes?

To answer these questions, it is necessary to firstly understand who Cinder is right now. Luckily, the last pair of Slippers makes it clear.

CINDERELLA’S SLIPPERS

Emerald and Mercury are taken in by Cinder in scenes that mirror respectively her first and last meeting with Rhodes. This conveys 2 things:

Emerald and Mercury are weapons she picks up, just like she takes the Twin Swords from Rhodes (by stealing > Emerald) and Madame (by killing > Mercury) in the 2 above mentioned scenes

Emerald and Mercury are Cinder’s childhood selves she is unconsciously trying to rescue

This duality is specifically why her bond with Emerald and Mercury is so nuanced. It is familial on some level, but Cinder’s experience with family is abusive, so she weaponizes and objectifies the kids.

In short, she turns who could have been a real family into a pair of weapons to use against her enemies. Her fight with Amber makes it clear:

Cinder is able to win against the Maiden specifically because she uses Emerald and Mercury as tools and smoke screens. She sends them after Amber, so that they can distract her with their abilities (Emerald’s semblance that confuses Amber and Mercury’s legs that let him withstand her elemental attacks). She joins the fight later on to deal damage, but is quick to fake her defeat, so that Amber’s focus stays on the kids. Finally, she finishes Amber off when her guard is down. In short, Cinder is symbolically using Emerald and Mercury as the Twin Swords, all to get a better pair of Slippers:

This frame’s very telling. The focus on Cinder’s feet hints to the Slippers, just like the similar frame in Midnight. However, here there are all 3 pairs of Slippers:

1) Midnight - Cinder’s past, the Twin Swords and Rhodes, whom she is desperately trying to leave behind

2) Amber - Who Cinder superficially wants to be, someone powerful, who has ironically just lost a fight against Cinder’s childhood selves

3) Emerald - Who deep down Cinder is. A crying child hungry for love:

And a thief/assassin:

It is really no surprise that Amber is defeated specifically because she fails to realize that the crying child she offered an apple to and the girl attacking her are actually one and the same:

It is just like Rhodes fails to reconcile Cinder’s 2 sides and dies because of it. It is just like Cinder loses herself by repressing the hurting inner child behind the mask of a powerful Maiden.

In short, the Maiden powers are who Cinder wants to be, while Emerald and Mercury are who she needs to accept that she is. They are also the only Slippers that are not given to her, but that she chooses freely, which should be indicative of their importance for her arc.

Finally, Emerald and Mercury are the conclusion of a cycle of abuse that starts with Madame and Rhodes, goes on with Salem and Cinder and reaches the kids:

I'm the one Who rose out of filth and was loved by no-one

Overrun By the hate and the beatings defiled by a father

(I mean... if you read these lyrics together you literally get Cinder’s backstory)

Emerald was not loved, while Mercury was hated. Neglect and abuse. An indifferent society and a cruel family. Together they explore 2 sides of Cinder’s trauma and together they make the One (Cinder). Just like the Twin Swords turn into Midnight and the 2 Slippers of Cinder’s emblem draw an empy heart.

However, Cinder has failed to use her most important pairs of Slippers wisely, so far. Instead of healing through the kids, she is failing them, just like she was failed:

1) Her first meeting with Emerald parallels her first meeting with Rhodes and Madame. Superficially she acts as Rhodes by offering food and becoming Emerald’s idol. However, she is deep down acting like the Madame and trapping Emerald in a cycle of abuse:

Cinder: Don’t think... obey.

2) Her first meeting with Mercury parallels her last meeting with the Madame and Rhodes. Once again, she seems to be acting in the opposite way of her failure of a parent. Rhodes condemns Cinder, while Cinder praises Mercury. However, she does not aknowledge Mercury’s victimhood. She simply pushes Mercury on the path of violence for her own convenience, just like she was driven on that same path by  Rhodes:

Cinder: Mercury... Tell me, are you anything like your father?

So, Cinder abuses the neglected child and neglects the abused one in what is just a tragic repetition of her life. Switching between neglect (at its best) and abuse (at its worse). What’s interesting on this dynamic on a writing level is that Cinder does not really treat Emerald and Mercury all that differently. However, the relationships she has with them appear as distinct. This is because Emerald and Mercury themselves are different people, with different experiences and reactions to abuse. The result is that they give Cinder back different fragments of her past self, just like 2 misshaped pieces of glass in a very fascinating mirror game.

The result of Cinder’s mistreatement of Emerald and Mercury is that they both leave her in the episode Midnight (so literally she loses them at midnight :P):

And once again their current situations mirror the Twin Swords in Cinder’s flashback:

Emerald is found by the Prince and her friends. She is saved and accepted because people are able to empathize with her, just like Rhodes empathizes with thief Cinder.

Mercury is instead stolen by the Evil Godmother and taken away from Cinder. It is a way to prey on Cinder’s frail sense of identity and to exercise power over her. He is the killer Cinder, whom Rhodes likes to ignore and who gets stuck in abuse.

So, Emerald is the Slipper she loses at midnight and is found by people who can save Cinder. Mercury instead is the Slipper taken away by the Stepmother as a punishment.

However, only together the Slippers make Cinder, as they are 2 different sides of her personality. Both kids need to be saved and empathized with, so that Cinder herself can be understood and helped. After all, the Slippers are meant to bring the Prince to Cinderella and this is probably what Emerald and Mercury will do. As for how this will happen, different outcomes are possible. As for now, I think the most interesting one is:

Emerald, as the Emerald Tablet, brings Knowledge to Cinder by confronting her. She should be the one to call Cinder out and show her who she truly is. This would also fit with her arc. Emerald is a survivor victim whose main flaw is her idealization of Cinder. So, for her to truly see the kind of person Cinder is and to challenge Cinder to see herself would fit.

Mercury, as the Messanger God, should connect the stone (RWBY) with the alchemist (Cinder). Because of this, it would be interesting if he were the one to empathize the most with Cinder’s most wounded part (he embodies it, after all) and to help others see it.

If this happens, it would also work as a chain. Emerald is helped and helps Mercury, who, in turns, makes Cinder more understandable to others. In general, though, Emerald and Mercury might share their roles of messangers of truth and mediators. What’s sure is that they will have a conflict with Cinder (like all abuse victims with their abusers in RWBY), but also inspire her to be better (like the other kids-mentor couples).

With their help, Ruby and the others will see Cinder and Cinder will see herself. Once this happens, the Prince will save Cinderella and Cinderella... what will she do?

MIDNIGHT - HEROES AND MONSTERS

A near unstoppable force, Cinder is now something more than human... And simultaneously... something less. Midnight struck one last time that night, Never to be seen again. The clock forever stopped in the waltz with Fire, Turned to ashes in Scorching Caress. "Who are you again?"

Cinderella ends with the protagonist being saved and becoming a princess. So, Cinder’s story will probably end with her becoming a princess too. This means she’ll finally become a true Maiden, which is exactly what she has been trying to do up until now. The problem is that so far Cinder has been going at it wrong. She is trying to be a Maiden (Salem’s Slippers) to run away from who she truly is (Emercury, her own Slippers). However, this does not work because you can never be your ideal self if you do not face who you really are.

This is precisely the point of Jaune and Pyrrha’s foiling when it comes to heroism:

On the one hand Jaune wants to become a hero to run away from who he is:

Jaune: Cause this is always what I’ve wanted to be! My father, my grandfather, and his father before him were all warriors! They were all heroes! I wanted to be one, too. I was just never good enough.

This is why he symbolically enters Beacon through cheating. He acts as someone he is not.

On the other hand Pyrrha is a hero simply because that is the person she wants and chooses to be:

Red-Haired Woman: I don’t think she would regret her choice, because a Huntress would understand that there really wasn’t a choice to make. And a Huntress is what she always wanted to be.

The choice between being a hero and being herself is never really a choice because being a Huntress is a part of who Pyrrha is. So, her final sacrifice is not really a negation of the self, but a result of who she deep down is.

Cinder is currently acting like Beacon Jaune, but instead of hiding her pain and insecurities by becoming a hero, she has chosen to be a monster. However, the truth is that she is just a human and humans have both Destruction and Creation within them:

Pyrrha: It’s not about why; it’s about knowing. Understanding dark and light helps us manifest our Aura. Everyone has some of both.

Once Cinder rediscovers her own humanity thanks to Ruby saving her and is reminded who she is by Emerald and Mercury, she will finally choose who she wants to be. This choice is clearly going to be key for the whole series. Basically, the Maiden of Choice will choose what the story theme is:

Salem: But even the most brilliant lights eventually flicker and die. And when they are gone... darkness will return. So you may prepare your guardians, build your monuments to a so-called "free world", but take heed... there will be no victory in strength.

Ozpin: But perhaps victory is in the simpler things that you've long forgotten. Things that require a smaller, more honest soul.

Is victory truly in a simple soul (aka humanity)? Or will humans choose darkness over light? Can a monster really turn into a hero? Do humans have this strength? The one to answer this question will probably be Cinder. And by doing so, she will also fulfill her destiny:

Pyrrha: When I think of destiny, I don't think of a predetermined fate you can't escape. But rather... some sort of final goal, something you work towards your entire life.

Salem: You’ve fought your whole life unwaveringly for what you want and here I am holding you back instead of lifting you up.

Cinder’s final goal is freedom, just like Pyrrha’s heroism and Penny’s friendship. Just like the other 2 maidens, she will get it, against all odds. However, it won’t be the freedom from everything that she has dreamt of, but rather the freedom of doing something only she can:

There's a moment that changes a life when We do something that no one else can And the path that we've taken will lead us One final stand

There's a moment we make a decision Not to cower and crash to the ground The moment we face our worst demons Our courage found

(..)

I may fall But not like this – it won't be by your hand I may fall Not this place, not today I may fall Bring it all – it's not enough to take me down I may fall

Choice will be Cinder’s Freedom.

[luna-rainbow]

Overall I liked Reborn Rich enough to forgive its flaws. I liked that the hearing essentially occurred in the court of public opinion, and it was the humdrum public, which the Soonyang family looked down on for so long, that became their undoing. Youngki dying just as the murder became public was...such an in character cop-out that it made me chuckle. It was also fitting that Yangchul hung on and died only when he heard Dojun had achieved his dream of making the automobile line famous, while Youngki hung on and died after his family lost their grip on Soonyoung because of something he did. I like the idea that this whole time-travel thing was a second chance for both Dojun and Hyunwoo, an opportunity for both of them to reset -- for Dojun to pull back from becoming the mogul Yangchul had been, and for Hyunwoo to break free from the bad conscience that has hung over him for 20 years. I liked Ha Inseok's role in all of this -- the only one who was treated as a fellow human by their boss, and who repaid it three times over; he wasn't just doing his job, he went above and beyond because he liked Dojun. It was heart-breaking to see at his young age (in his late 40s?) to have alcohol-related dementia, probably from all the trauma of losing Dojun and the subsequent cover-up, but he was also the catalyst for Hyunwoo to step up and lay out the truth he had been hiding for so long.

(Snipping cos it got long)

The acting in this series has been phenomenal. Lee Sungmin brought to life a very complex and mercurial character that manages to be both admirable and despicable. I've always liked Song Joongki's acting. His style is much quieter and subtler, but he can telegraph a lot through tiny changes in posture and facial expression. He really brought out the difference between Dojun, student Hyunwoo, working-his-ass-off-in-debt Hyunwoo, and older hardened-by-the-world Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo after returning to his body was notably different to Dojun right before he died, which I think is an interesting directorial choice.

The main weakness of the series is in Seo Minyong's character. Her work as a prosecutor was a direct conflict of interest to her romance with Dojun, and as a result neither roles were logical or convincing. Shin Hyunbeen's acting was also lacking. She doesn't quite convince as a naive law student nor as an assertive prosecutor (I also didn't like her much in Hospital Playlist so maybe she just doesn't click for me).

I wish they dropped the entire romance plot and bulked up the family plot for Dojun. In the end, the relationship that propped up the entire series was between Dojun and Yangchul, but there was so much to be explored between Dojun and his parents, and Hyunwoo and his father and brother. The tragedy of a family not knowing how or why they lost their son...is far more poignant than the mourning of a prosecutor who maybe went on two half-dates with a classmate. Just sayin'.

As to why no one picked up Dojun and Hyunwoo had the same face...I kinda just assumed it was an artistic freedom from about episode 8. I feel like I've seen this either in manga or in other Asian dramas where two characters visually looked the same (i.e. had the same character design or same actor/voice actor) but it is only evident to the audience, not to other characters within the world. It actually bothers me far less than why Hyunwoo would have a recording of a phone conversation from 2004 when he was in too much shock to even stand up.

Ultimately though, I do think the story was rather...murky when it comes to its message. I find it hard to call this story anti-capitalist when Dojun essentially got his first pot of gold from land given to him by his grandfather, and the central message seems to be "lets get rid of birthright and bring in merit", where merit is measured by someone's ruthlessness in manipulating the market. The entire family, the campy acting and hyperbolic stakes, mirror imperial families in Asian period dramas, along with a certain degree of awe at their pride and tragedy...so yes, it does rather romanticise the notion of chaebol families, even as it drops the occasional critical line about their power. Am I surprised? Not really, and I wonder whether the original book was allowed to be more scathing.

[prpfs]

This went pretty great last time, but it seems as if the Hellaverse brainrot just won't leave me be! Please be 21+, although 25+ is preferred, and NSFW friendly. I frequently break discord's character limits, so detail is a must, just please don't get hung up on reply length. I'm not desperate for a mirror or anything like that. Add me on discord if you're serious about writing together: boyfood. Tumblr IMs don't load for me, so I can't message you if you like this!! Seriously! I want to but mobile tumblr has made an enemy out of me! Same as before, I'm open to you bringing your own plots instead, the more the merrier! Finally, if we're already writing together and something from this catches your eye, feel free to request it! I'm more than happy to write multiple threads together. Please don't reply with hi when you reach out, I don't know who you are or what you want! Thanks!!!💜

🎭Helluva Boss I'd like to write Fizzarolli.

one: Quitting Mammon initially seemed like the best idea ever, that is until his newfound freedom and lack of purpose prove to be detrimental to his relationship. Not to mention the constant onslaught of lawsuits draining Fizzarolli of a pretty significant chunk of his earnings over the years. Teetering on new lows, Fizz turns up on the doorstep of the only other person he can trust. Blitzø. But it's been years since they've reliably been around one another, and with their rekindled friendship still being so fresh, it's uncertain if this will be another not great idea. And the kicker? It's either curling up on the sofa with Blitzø, or a pallet on the living room floor.

two: Fizzarolli is a porn star, more specifically, Asmodeus' highest earner. He's making waves, the biggest imp in the business and still climbing. It's why Asmodeus is reluctant to tell him about a recent card game with his biggest production rival, Valentino. He doesn't lose too much, but there's a pretty big obligation on the line that Fizzarolli is expected to fill. "Nothing too crazy, you just have to film a movie for him." Valentino, much to his disgust, seems intent on humiliating Asmodeus and his biggest star by having him record with a random imp off the streets. His sadistic glee only grows when he realizes there's a history between them and a negative one at that. Unfortunately, Blitzø needs the money so saying no isn't really an option. Besides, it's just two weeks of shooting together, two very... long... weeks...

three: I'm always looking to explore Blitzø's and Fizzarolli's friendship dynamic before the accident. 🍪 is likely but I'm not opposed to aging them up if that's something that matters to you. I'm looking for awkward first kisses or first times(for one or both of them), silly little imps being cute, and a whole bunch of missed opportunities and misunderstandings. Where we go after the accident is totally up to us. I want realistic dynamics, where even if they realize they have feelings, sharing that somehow seems like the most impossible option in the world - because, you know, dramatic brats. I want jealousy but also affection. Just. Complex dynamics, friends!

🎭Hazbin Hotel I'd like to write Anthony/Angel Dust & Alastor for plot three.

one: Angel Dust is an incubus demon intent on gaining power in Hell. How? Isn't it obvious, by nature, he's meant to seduce - humans specifically as they make for an excellent source of nourishment. How is it that no incubus has ever dared to feast on an overlord...? This plot is open to any character that is currently or has ever been a demon overlord. Please expect an extremely manipulative Angel Dust.

two: Continuing the theme of incubus Angel Dust, I'd love for him to pursue the human version of your muse. They could be a prominent religious figure, maybe they're a drug kingpin at his peak, or how about a celebrity that's just had the most prolific moment of their career. I want him to take down someone at the top of whatever they're doing. I want his toxicity to be a soul-sucking twist of betrayal intent on destroying all they hold dear before he drags them to hell.

three: No real plot here. I'm just kind of itching to try out Alastor and to see how I like roleplaying him. I have vague ideas and I'm great at brainstorming if you tell me what kind of stuff you're into(please don't send your kink lists, I'm not interested in doing wish fulfillment for any of these plots). It should be expected that I'm looking for complicated and realistic dynamics. I'm open to shipping him with most male characters, although some will be a harder sell than others. I'm like vaguely interested in digging into what exactly he made a deal for, but it's nothing required. I'm not interested in writing him as actually romantically interested in anyone(he might act like it for personal gain, though), and while I fully intend to write him in smut, him being ace will be a part of it.

discord: boyfood

[miekasa]

speaking of college boys, what do the college au aot babies study??

Okay, okay, I think I’ve talked about this in an ask before but I can’t find it 😭😭 but it’s okay, I love college aus, so I’ll talk about it again! Plus, now I’ve got more thoughts for more characters, so here we go

Levi — neuroscience and psychology of human behavior

He started out on track to do a bachelor of arts in psychology, but when they touched on the anatomy and biological parts of it during his first year lecture, he switched to a bachelor of science.

The focus is still psychology, but through a more clinical lens. Essentially, he gets the best of both worlds this way. He’s intuitive and analytical, so clinical and mental diagnosis is easy to dissect for him. He’s also canonically good at math, so the calculus and stats parts aren’t too bad, either.

This major also leaves him with a few options post-grad, which is a nice bonus for him. He’s likely going to medical school, but that’s not the only route open to him: law school, therapy, lab work, medicine and pharmacy, even teaching are all viable options without going to grad school.

Do not talk to him about Freud unless you wanna get punted off a building.

Be careful with him, because with a single glance he’s already got scarily accurate predictions about your parental and emotional attachment styles, your behavior in social settings, and the onset (or seemingly lack thereof) of your frontal lobe development.

He thinks he’s so smart making comments like, “I see those synaptic connections aren’t working so well for you today,” like mf come here let me lobotomize you and see how well your synaptic connects are working after that🙄

Eren — general health sciences

He’s interested in science and the discovery aspects of it, but picking a specific field of focus right now feels too final. He likes it this way, because his schedule and requirements are less restrictive, and he has more room to find out what really interests him.

He does best when he’s doing something he loves, so picking a major with a bunch of reqs that he couldn’t care less about would have sucked big time for him. It also would have affected his grades. There are still some classes he has to take that he’s not fond of (see: chemistry), but that’s to be expected. Science in general is cool to him and he hopes to make his own discovery some day, even if it’s microscopic.

He also plays a lot of sports, keeping his schedule flexible is important. The sports end up helping him excel academically, which is a nice bonus. Honestly, Eren uses his time at university to learn more about himself than anything, so having control and freedom to do what he likes the majority of the time was important to him. 

He uses his elective credits to take philosophy or history courses of his interest, or maybe even a course that you’re in just to spend time with you. He also uses you as a live model for his homework bye, congrats on being patient number one to him.

Armin — astronomy and physics

He’s still interested in marine biology, but unless he attended a school near a coast, or with a specialized integrated program for that, it’s unlikely he’d major in it during undergrad.

Space and ocean exploration aren’t all that different. Both are vast, largely unexplored domains that reel-in Armin’s interest for discovery. So, while studying astronomy, he still gets to study evolution and make his own predictions about what could be out there because there’s so much to know.

Physics comes with the territory of learning about planetary science, and he’s mathematically inclined, so it works out for him. Learning about the different physical properties of other planets and space masses is honestly pretty sick to him. Because math isn’t a struggle, he actually considered aeronautical engineering, but he didn’t want to be a part of the college to military pipeline; that is, he didn’t want any potential design of his to be weaponized. 

He still gets to study animal biology through his elective courses, and might even find a few focused on marine animals to satiate him. Plant and cell biology are also of interest to him, and are just further applications of his primary study anyway, so he’s got plenty of room to work with.

This boy is interning at NASA and still, with his whole chest out is like, “I don’t need to discover a new planet, you’re my whole world.” Armin, go check on the Mars rover or something please.

Mikasa — anthropology + minor in japanese language studies

Anthropology is virtually interdisciplinary in nature, and Mikasa is a pretty well rounded student, so she’s able to excel in a program like this. She gets to study history, science, cultural studies, and even a bit of art all at once.

She’s still debating between going to law school vs med school, so anthro this is a good in-betweener. She gets a taste of science through her anatomy and kin courses; and lots of practice with reading and dissecting texts through the historical and cultural lectures. So, when the time comes to decide, she’ll have some experience with both.

Don’t know whether it’s confirmed that she’s (part) Japanese or not, but either way I headcanon that she speaks/spoke some second language at home. She wanted to delve more into it, and courses were offered at the university so why not?

Cultural studies courses end up being her favorite. She likes learning about the history of people and their cultures, and it encourages her to learn more about her own family history and culture. It also propels her to apply for a study abroad opportunity, so she spends at least one semester doing an exchange program and absolutely loves it.

She would also encourage you to apply and go, too. You guys might not be in the same program, but if there’s an applicable program in the same country she’s going to, then she’d definitely want you to apply. Spending the semester away with you would be a dream come true.

Hange — bioengineering + minor in political philosophy and law

It’s almost self-sabotage to be in an engineering program and have a minor; the coursework for engineering alone is backbreaking, and bioengineering has the added weight of human intricacies, but of course Hange makes it possible. 

They’re nothing short of a genius, so of course they have time to work a completely unrelated minor into their schedule. It doesn’t surprise anyone that they go on to complete an MD-PhD after undergrad. Insane. 

Bioengineering is essentially the synthesis of chemical engineering and health sciences; Hange spends their time exploring biological sciences and applies the engineering aspects of their coursework to their understanding of (and interest in creating) medicine. Truly a one of a kind mind. 

They also have an interest in philosophy and justice, so when they found out they only needed a measly nine or ten courses to minor in, they went for it, of course. In honesty, they don’t find the studies all that opposing: both law making and medicine making both have some kind of philosophy or method to them in their eyes. 

Hange has... little to no free time pls. They don’t mind it, because they love their coursework, but this means you are essentially ducking into their labs or scrambling to find them in-between their classes during your time in undergrad. They appreciate every second spent with you tho, and will gladly rope you into long discussions about their work. 

Jean — biochemistry + minor in art sustainability

He was undeclared his first year, and took a little bit of everything: art, science, history, anthropology, english. Basically, anything that fit into his schedule. It was hard for him to pick one thing—he liked the science and lab applications of STEM courses, but not the math; and the obvious painting and creativity of art, but hated the pretentious air about art history.

What he wants to do is make a difference, which is how he ends up knowing that he wants to go to med school after, so he picks a science-heavy major, but uses his elective spaces to take art courses. When he mixes the two, he ends up on sustainability—and the complexities about it that are applicable to both science and art are what really reels him in.

Interdisciplinary studies end up being his forte. He can approach sustainability from a science perspective which impacts his art style and materials; and tuning into his creative side allows him to think about science not just from a purely clinical perspective, but from a human one, too—patients are people after all.

He believes that everything is connected somehow, even things as seemingly opposite as art and biochemistry. And he works towards finding the unique intersection where everything overlaps. His studies are pretty cool, and he’s very passionate about them, so ask him about it 😌

The art he makes is pretty sick, too, and often commentary about science; he’s proving they’re not so opposite. You also heavily influence his studies in both areas: caring about you so much inspires him to take the healthcare focus seriously, and your very nature is inspiration to his art. 

Sasha — nursing

She’s friendly and good at working with people, so nursing was an easy choice for her. She accredits most of her motivation to being around her younger family members, and learns that she finds a simple kind of joy in helping to take care of others.

She struggles a bit her first year when it’s mostly all grades and standardized testing, but when she starts getting clinical experience and working in the hospital on campus, things round out for her.

Patient care is her strongest point. A lot of people often forget that knowing everything isn’t everything; if you don’t know how to calm or even just talk to your patient, you’re not that great of a healthcare professional.

Pretty certain that she wants to work with kids in the future, but she’s open to public health and even being a travel nurse if she finds opportunity there!

Of course, she’s pretty doting when it comes to you and all her friends. She might want to go into pediatrics, but the basics of nursing and health care extend to everyone, so you’re guaranteed to be well taken care of with Sasha around. You might even have to switch roles and take care of her sometimes, because her coursework can get pretty out of hand.

Connie — computer engineering with a focus on game design

He might not look it, but Connie has a brain under that shaved head of his. Computer engineering is cool to him because he basically learns about how simple things he uses every day (ie: phone, computer, microwave) works.

Systems and coding are actually the easy part for him, especially when they get into the application of it and aren’t just stuck looking at examples. That’s how he gets into game design.

The part about math and electricity and magnetic fields… well let’s just say he needed to make friends with someone who likes math and hardware his first year to get through it. But the struggle was worth it, because by his junior year he’s found a professor willing to mentor/supervise him as he works on his game and other projects, so life is good.

His school work is definitely hard, which is why the lives by the mantra of “work hard, party harder.” It’s only fair. 

He makes you a little avatar so you can test out his games for him <33 best boyfriend things <33 He’d also… build a game about your relationship. Every level is a different date you guys went on, and he definitely includes something cheesy, like “There are unlimited lives because I love you forever babe <3”

Porco — kinesiology + maybe mechanical engineering

He’s pretty into athletics and working out, but didn’t wanna go down the sports psychology route; he wanted something that left him with a few more options, so he ended up in kinesiology.

He was surprisingly pretty good at biology in high school, so something stem-oriented works out in his favor, and it turns out he’s pretty damn good at anatomy, too. He’ll probably end up in physical therapy after graduation.

He’s also got a knack for cars, which is where the engineering comes in, but he doesn’t care so much for the math part of it (he doesn’t care for it at all actually, fuck that); he just wants the hands on experience of building/fixing things and working with his hands. So, if he can get a minor in it and not struggle through 4 years of math, then he’d do that. If not, he’d take a few workshop-like classes.

Because he wants to go into physical therapy, you are essentially his practice patient. Your back hurts? Not a problem, he’s basically a professional masseuse. Muscle aches? He’s got a remedy and understanding of why it’s happening. Don’t let him catch you hunting over your desk grinding away at your homework, because he will poke your neck and correct your posture (he’ll also massage your shoulders, but after the scolding).

Pieck — classics + minor in philosophy

Ancient studies interest her, but more than that, the language of ancient Greek and Roman culture fascinates her, so classics is the way to go.

Because her focus within Classics ends up being Greek and Latin language studies, she is essentially learning both languages at the same time. She gets farther with Latin that she does with Greek. For whatever reason, the former comes almost naturally to her, so her written and translated work is more complex in Latin.

However, she finds cultural studies relation to Greece more interesting than that of Rome, so it’s a give and take with both; better at languages for Roman studies, better at culture and history for Greek studies.

Her minor is a natural evolution from her primary coursework. Ancient Romans and Greeks set the foundation for a lot of modern day philosophy, so it comes up in her major classes, but she wanted to delve further into the philosophy, and not just look at it historically, so she takes more courses to fulfill the minor.

Can be found laying on a blanket in the quad on a hot day, with her books spread out all around her, highlighter in hand as she works through her reading. You’re always invited to sit with her, and more often than not, it ends up with Pieck’s head in your lap, a book in her hands, and your own schoolwork in yours as you both read in each other’s company.

Bertholdt — computer science and coding

He’s level headed, good at planning, and above all, patient, so he’s cut out for this. He doesn’t consider himself to be particularly creative, which is why he doesn’t pick a speciality with lots of design; but he’s good at streamlining and ideas to life.

The patience really comes in when his code doesn’t run. It’s frustrating to scroll for two hours just to find out that the issue is a missing semi-colon in line 273 that he overlooked, but Berty will sit there until he finds it.

He’s also good at fixing issues. That’s not limited to issues in the code itself; it can mean finding shorter ways to produce the same function or loop, or integrating new aspects into existing code.

Also, he’d just be so cute, coding away on his computer. Just imagine: Berty working on his homework in the library, he’s got his signature crewneck + collared shirt look going for him, his blue-light glasses, a cup of coffee nearly as tall as him sitting at the corner of his desk. Adorable.

He’d make little codes/programs for you, too, even if it’s silly. A simple code that helps you decide what to eat for dinner or where to go on a date, one that shuffles different reminders for you, hell he’ll even forgo the torture of design engineering just to build you a little robot that says “I love you” to you.

Reiner — english + minor in justice & political philosophy

Everyone expects Reiner, star quarterback of the university’s rugby team, to be a business student or communications student; but no, he’s an English major, and he loves it.

Just imagine a guy as huge as Reiner absolutely manhandling someone on the field, just to show up in his lectures with a tiny paperback of The Great Gatsby tucked between his fingers with his reading glasses on. It’s so precious.

He’s always running a bit late to class—either coming from the gym, or practice, or oversleeping from exhaustion—but he’s so sweet to his professors and genuinely interested in the literature that they don’t give him a hard time about it. They can tell that balancing school and sports is difficult, and they just appreciate that he takes his studies seriously.

Yeah he’s in a book club and he dog-ears his books. What about it. They’re doing poetry this month and Reiner actually likes Edgar Allen Poe. Who said jocks can’t be sentimental.

He also reads a lot outside of his classes, and has a soft spot for coming of age stories. He usually empathizes with the main character somehow. His ideal weekend plans after a week of grueling games and essays is taking a long, relaxing shower at your place, while you both share a bottle of wine, and maybe even get you to read a chapter or two of his current book out loud to him.

Annie — clinical psychology/neuroscience

Almost scarily analytical and methodic, so this major was calling her name. Localizing brain legions is… insanely intuitive to her it’s incredible. She’ll be an insanely impressive doctor someday, even if she doesn’t end up working with patients directly. 

She doesn’t care too much for the more philosophical/reading heavy parts of psychology. Even experiments and research closer to the social end of the spectrum aren’t all that interesting to her; but the brain science behind it it.

Nobody should be good at cellular biology. Nobody should be able to ace cell bio and neuro and calc and work towards their thesis proposal in the same semester, but Annie proves it’s possible.

Ends up working in one of her professor’s labs by her junior year. She was offered three TA positions working with first year students, but she swiftly turned them down. Teaching isn’t her thing.

She doesn’t bring up her studies to you unprompted, but if you ask her about them she’ll explain it to you. Her notes are color coded and it’s super neat, and very cute; coloring them is somewhat relaxing for her. She usually saves the coloring part for when you guys study together; there’s extra comfort in doing it with you around.

[shirubae]

Silvaze ‘06: Part 2 - Separation Anxiety

Previously: A look at Silver and Blaze’s gameplay in Crisis City.

Having agreed to follow Mephiles' plan to kill the Iblis Trigger, Silver and Blaze arrive in the past! However, they are separated. Mephiles did this intentionally, so as to leave Silver unchained and keep Blaze from potentially complicating his mission. Their reactions are quite different:

Silver's Arrival

When Silver finds himself in the past, he is frantic. He immediately runs around, calling out for Blaze, and mourns the separation.

But he is also totally amazed by Soleanna Forest - this is the first time he’s ever seen such abundant life. The camera lingers on a tree for an awkwardly long time. Silver is inspired to preserve this life by following his new mission, sprinting away at full speed.

The next stage is the lush Tropical Jungle, where Silver seeks leads on the Iblis Trigger. It’s a peaceful yet complex area where Silver must cooperate with giant turtles, lilypads, and hanging vines. Its ruins are ancient stone rather than modern concrete, surrounded by a lake of water rather than lava. This is where Silver comes to truly appreciate nature.

This nature propels Silver, as he has never actually seen the "good" future he's fighting for - it doesn’t yet exist. What would a future without Iblis even be like? This unknowable goal makes Silver's pursuit even more nebulous and, dare I say, unhinged. But the hope of a greener future is something that gives his dream weight and feasibility.

Blaze’s Arrival

Meanwhile, Blaze patiently explores Wave Ocean. She too is impressed by the past, but doesn’t freak out. Her mind stays on Silver, concerned with his place in Mephiles' prophecy.

From what I understand, Blaze uses the word ("暴走", bōsō) in Japanese; this means to run wild, almost like going berserk. She reasons she shouldn’t let him “run wild on his own”. In the English translation she says Silver's “pretty insecure when he’s alone”, but I say he literally lacks security when he’s alone. He is a loose cannon, dangerous both to himself and others. She doesn't want him to do anything too reckless.

Blaze reflects on the “blue/naive” (青い) wordplay again, walking to find Silver. Her stage is a short portion of Wave Ocean, featuring a laidback guitar and peppy percussion soundtrack. Its layout is much more linear than the maze-like Tropical Jungle.

The most crucial difference between the two is that Silver replaces the stability of Blaze's emotional support with the simplicity of Mephiles’ assignment. Blaze, on the other hand, keeps Silver in mind and seeks him first and foremost.

Meeting Amy

Silver locates the Iblis Trigger, Sonic, but is thwarted by an ever-zealous Amy. Silver has no idea how to deal with someone so relentlessly bubbly, but Amy can’t pass up an opportunity to help and drags him off. It’s ironic that Silver is so willing to trust Mephiles, who selfishly gives him someone to search for, and yet so hesitant to trust Amy, who selflessly helps him without even knowing who he's seeking.

To pursue Sonic, they require a pass from Lord Regis first. This sidequest has Silver trash a squad of Dr. Eggman’s robots, showcasing Silver’s destructive potential. He is thanked as a hero, but really all he did was smash metal together so he could return to his manhunt.

Silver’s “Person”

In the desert, Silver is embarrassed to be dragged around by Amy, but still doesn’t abandon her. Whether this is because he is too insecure to say no, or he just has no other leads, I'm not sure. Nevertheless, Amy promises to help Silver find his "person” once she finds Sonic (the same guy).

Here, Amy represents an upbeat freedom that Silver lacks - however, she is anything but naive. In fact she is quite conscious of her devotion to Sonic, trusting him as more than a dumb fangirl, but as a friend. It’s ironic that her seemingly airy obsession with Sonic as a person is leagues deeper than Silver’s freakish obsession with Sonic as a target.

Speculation: I wonder if Silver is reminded of Blaze in this moment, seeing Amy's loyalty to her friend. While he's basically forgotten about Blaze, she has been trying to reunite with him. He's failing to pursue the right person.

Like in the forest, Silver admires the beauty of nature to center himself. Reinvigorated, he suddenly leads the charge for Amy, running off into more trouble.

Dusty Desert

Silver’s Dusty Desert is unique for its puzzles, making particular use of billiards. The puzzles require self-control (ex. moving a ball to a goal within a limited number of pushes), forcing Silver to think. Amy’s slower movement and invisibility also encourage slower, deliberate play. The stage’s music features zany instrumentation that hits a melodic stride at the chorus, almost like it’s working on calming down too.

This should be a time for Silver to step back and reconsider his actions, but it only frustrates him further when the Iblis Trigger is no where to be found. He’s in total tunnel-vision mode, and he’s about to get a rude awakening.

Next up: Silver meets the Iblis Trigger and reunites with Blaze!

[Back to the masterpost]

[kira-fluff]

Hello! Have you done headcanons for a MC that is a really good artist? Like, that's what she loves and hopes to make a career out of it? (For the RFA, V, And Saeran?) thankyou! Bye bye! \ ^-^ /

a/n: I LOOOVEE this idea! As a passionate artist myself, this one hits home :) As you probably know, I’ve updated my rules, since you specified 2, I will pick 2 from the RFA :) Again, let me know if you’d like to have different characters than the ones I picked! I went for MC instead of Y/n this time. Let me know what you think. Thanks! 

Also, this is pre-relationship and it may or may not have turned into a confession headcanon oh gosh 

- 

MC is an Artist +Confession bonus 

V +bonus confession 

As a fellow artist, V would be incredibly proud of you 

Even though he might sometimes have trouble saying it 

V has always showed actions above his words 

You’d quickly gathered this from his lack of communication with the RFA chat and text messages between the two of you in general 

But you understood him, in a way 

You related to the freedom he felt whenever he expressed himself through his photography 

Because you felt that same feelings when you painted 

You were incredibly inspired by Beatrix Potter, your memories of her various artworks inspiring you to do the same 

You adored nature just as much as V did 

Together, you both made a beautiful pair 

You wore an adorable flower-patterned, yellow sun dress

A beige sunhat you held to your head with a hand, carrying your brushes and paint palette

Him, dressed smartly in a sweater with khaki pants 

 V could carry your easel for you, his professional photography bag slung around his shoulder. 

You’d laugh, turning around to look at him, the wind blowing in your face, urging him to “Come on!” 

V had never thought you more beautiful than the time you’d accidentally tripped into a meadow of freesias, scattering them every which way 

You gasped, whipping out your pocket book, etching down the scene before you 

After a measurable silence, you looked over at V who had been quiet in taking pictures of you 

He keeps many copies of the pictures, putting one in his wallet and other places he’d look frequently just to make him smile 

He’d never let others besides himself see them, but they were the most beautiful photos he’d ever taken, and this not just by his standards of your beauty 

You sometimes would catch yourself sketching him during your time outside with him, sitting in a quiet pasture 

The world’s creatures were your muse, but you couldn’t help yourself from taking every opportunity to capture V’s every expression

And maybe that’s when you realized you were completely and utterly in love with him. 

In those quiet times in the meadows, all along you were in love with him. 

When you’d caught V taking candids of you, you always would beg him to delete them, which he begrudgingly would, if you really begged him 

But.. other than that, you were positive V had no real feelings for you outside of a deep friendship. 

That must’ve done it. He knows.  

Because suddenly, V had become incredibly distant, flaking out of your naturalist escapades, becoming increasingly difficult to come in contact at all..

it was all pointing to the fact that he had realized how deeply you loved him. 

You in turn, pushed away everyone around you. 

Rejection hurt. So much. One does not truly understand it until they’ve felt it themselves. 

It came to a point where you had no more tears left to cry, you knew he was gone forever. 

Your love, your inspiration. 

All was gone. 

You hadn’t touched a paint brush in months 

You’d been skipping meals for a while, beginning to feel more and more fatigue because of it. 

It came to the point where all in the RFA (except V) had become so worried about you that they’d sent Jaehee and Yoosung over to check on you 

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d checked your phone 

Your blinds and curtains had been shut for a subsequent amount of time. 

It had been weeks since you’d last changed your clothes, your hair was unkept. 

You stopped taking care of yourself completely, emptiness overtaking you. 

You had always had a dream of making artwork your career.. but just when your freelance career had begun to take off.. you lost everything. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to touch your paints or pocket book. It reminded you too much of him. 

You weren’t concerned about money, Rika’s apartment was already paid for and… well, with no real meal expenses, you didn’t feel any real purpose to continue. 

You heard a soft knock on the door. 

Instead of answering, you groaned, rolling over in your sheets – hoping if you ignored the knocking they’d assumed you weren’t home.

Any last grain of hope you’d had left you a long time ago. 

“….MC?” 

You slowly sat up in your bed. It was Yoosung. 

You instantly felt shame for ignoring them.. and looking, well, like this. 

“I’m coming in!” Came a loud shout, causing you to panic. 

Damn. Seven must’ve opened the apartment.  

Seven was concerned for you, given the surveillance footage, he couldn’t find almost any instances when you’d left your apartment. 

Given your apparent closeness, Seven shot a text to Yoosung, Jaehee, and of course, V. 

Yoosung and Jaehee replied in agreement and concern, V, however, said something very different. 

// V:  I’m sorry. I can’t go. >> [sent, 6:08am]

707: I thot the 2 of u were rly close. Did sth happen? >> [sent, 6:09am]

V: I’m selfish. I can’t see her anymore. >> [sent, 6:29am] 

707: ? >> 

707: > [sent, 6:29am]

read, 6:32am. //

You began to cry, embarrassed and ashamed, as Jaehee and Yoosung called your name throughout your hollow feeling apartment. 

Immediate concern covered their faces when they saw you teary eyed in your bed. 

“Oh, MC, hey, it’s going to be okay.”, Jaehee immediately held your head in her arms. 

She ordered Yoosung to get some food from your local convenience store

From there, she opted to begin cleaning you up. 

Jaehee didn’t want to force you to do or say anything, so she never asked questions – unless to ask whether you were comfortable taking a shower or perhaps, eating something later. 

You were not opposed to the help, rather, you felt indebted to them, feeling guilty for causing Jaehee, Yoosung, and likely Seven a great amount of trouble. 

Jaehee made quick work of stripping your bed sheets, stuffing in the laundry and opening the blinds, cleaning your room and dusting where necessary 

A part of her chastised herself for not doing so sooner, but she and the others were afraid that they’d be intruding on your right to take a social media break or something of the sort. 

Yoosung came back relatively quickly, a meal in hand, per Jaehee’s request. 

He made quick work of making his specialty – an omurice omelette. 

Jaehee continued to tidy up, checking up with you when she’d realized the apartment had gotten too silent

You at last stepped out of the shower, your hair taking on a glimmer, as if thanking you for taking care of it at last. 

You washed your face, trying to gather your thoughts as your shoved a crew-neck shirt over your head, opting for jeans and slippers as well. 

At last coming out of the bathroom, you at last made eye contact with Yoosung and Jaehee you began to cry again. 

Without hesitation, they rushed toward you for a hug, hushing you when you’d blubbered, “I’m sorry, thank you, I’m so sorry” in between dry heaves. 

After a quick call to Seven from Jaehee, Zen, Jumin and Saeyoung had made their way to your apartment as well. 

They each had their piece to share, kind words of encouragement and love. 

You were happy by their words, but… 

V wasn’t here. 

At last gaining confidence through their encouraging words, you ushered them to the large sofas that laid beneath your TV. 

Looking down, you said, “I-I’m sure you’re all wondering about V and I..” 

You didn’t dare look up when your sniffles began. 

You took a deep breath before beginning, “This is nothing to his fault, but….” your lip wobbled, “I believe.. I think he realized that I had completely fallen for him,” you laughed pathetically, “Still am”

Seven began, “MC–” 

“I don’t blame him, really, I never intended to tell him… it’s awkward.” 

Zen clenched his fist, “That asshole…” 

“And my friend” Jumin quickly rebutted. 

“P-please! I didn’t tell you this to make you dislike him or anything! I just felt like I owed you all an explanation…”, you begged.

Seven stared at you for a while before saying, “MC… V he’s– I think you should tell him properly.” 

Zen, ever the hot-head, stood up shouting, “And get her heart broken all over again?! How heartless can you be!” 

You smiled ingenuinely, “He’s right, Zen.” 

Before you could change your mind, you picked up your phone, and for what felt like years, you at last dialed V’s number. 

On the last ring, you heard sound that the caller had, picked up though there was no sound on the other line. 

Jumin and Yoosung ushered everyone out of the room, deciding to take a little stroll outside the apartment complex. 

After a moment of silence you started, “…..V?” 

You now heard him breathing on the other line.

“V, I know you’re there. Please…” You felt your voice wavering, “P-please… come to my apartment.”, you whispered a final, “please.” 

V was silent for what felt like hours before saying, “……..okay.” 

You hung up, attempting to mentally prepare yourself for the world of hurt you were about to endure again. 

After a long silence in which you’d zoned out, you suddenly heard the door bell ring. 

You glanced up. Only V ever used the doorbell.. always had. 

You slowly crept toward the door, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves. 

Gently opening the door a crack, you took in V. 

It had been a few months, but he looked so different. So…hollow. 

You moved for him to come inside, closing the door behind you. 

“Um, V, there’s something I need to tell you.” 

“You already know my answer.” 

You looked up, tears welling in your eyes, doing your best to ignore his statement. 

“V… I love you.” 

You’d never seen V so taken aback, his whole face grew pale. 

“Y-you love me?” 

“Have. For a long time.” 

You looked down, “You can go now.” 

Yet you didn’t hear a sound of movement. 

Looking up, V was still standing there, shocked. 

At last, you managed to hear the softest whisper, “All this time….”

You leaned in closer, “What?” 

“I- I loved you.. I love you. Since we’d first met. I-I thought you didn’t want a thing to do with me. Thought you’d figured out I’d fallen in love, so I distanced myself.. selfishly to try not to get hurt, but I still did. And all this time you felt the same.” 

You were now the stunned one. 

“Really?” 

V gently smiled at you, enveloping you in a tight hug, “Really.” 

Jumin +bonus confession 

You loved to create stories 

Various areas of fiction, watercolor splashing against crisp, white pages 

Telling a beautiful story in color 

And Jumin adored it. 

He adored you. 

He admired your deep passion to create and your love for everything. 

He couldn’t understand how you could see the beauty in everything around you… for Jumin, he tended to consider things in their degree of usefulness. 

For the longest time, his father and those around him had encouraged this mentality 

And so, Jumin rarely sought for things that would have no real purpose – his penthouse proved this point by its bare walls – void of artistic charm

It wasn’t until you’d met him through the RFA that you’d immediately brought a force of color into his life 

He remembered well the first time you’d come to his apartment 

You gently ran your soft fingers against the walls of his penthouse saying, “Mr. Han, I think you need some more color in your house. It looks like a hospital in here!” You turned to him, a playful smile on your face. 

The breath was knocked out of him. 

God, he could never say no to you. If you’d ask, he’d get you anything you’d ever need. 

But he loved that you didn’t appreciate that kind of affection. Jumin knew he immediately ran to gift giving for love because it was the only way he had been shown love throughout his life…. and, it didn’t really mean anything to him. 

Still, he desperately wanted to be helpful, so if you were ever in a financial struggle, he’d offer to assist you. 

You’d proudly decline, declaring you could do it all yourself. He liked that about you too. Your independence, your kindness. 

It didn’t take long for him to realize he had taken to you greatly. 

One day when you’d come over for a visit, while petting Elizabeth III, you said, “Hey, Jumin.. have you ever fallen in love before?” 

Tension filled the air while Jumin stared at you. 

How could MC be so blind. 

When it had been a few moments he’d not answered, you awkwardly said, “J-just kidding! I figured you’re probably engaged – that was a stupid question, sorry..” 

Jumin was stricken by your sudden uncertainty, but didn’t make anything of it. 

“I’m not engaged. Don’t listen to anything my father says regarding that. And to answer your question, I think I might have an idea of what that feels like.” 

His eyes bore into yours, but he of course missed the look of sorrow that’d taken over your eyes.  

He’d watch you paint all day if he had the time. 

He couldn’t understand how you could look at a blank sheet of paper and write something so poetically beautiful and paint a lovely picture to match 

It was all a part of his amazement of you. 

He could watch you for hours, humming to yourself while you played around with contrast colors for your watercolor pieces 

No other art had value quite like your own 

He encouraged you at every chance he got, “MC, you should go into the arts.” 

“That’s what I want to do! But, Dad says the arts aren’t a realistic job.”, you frowned. 

“That may have been true in some outdated decade, but in our world today people are always looking for something hand-made and authentic. When we research our products, we look for items that have a ‘signature’ to them. Trust me, people want your art not only because it is breath-taking.. but because you made it.” 

You smiled at that, Jumin was always one to put a rational thought forward for your consideration, something you’d cherished. 

“Besides, I think you’d be happy anywhere you can create.” 

You grinned, pulling him into a tight hug, “Thank you, Ju Ju.”

Staying close friends became increasingly difficult, but Jumin wasn’t going to risk losing his friendship with you because of feelings. 

So you surprised him when you began randomly, “Jumin, I think I’m in love with you, okay?” 

You made eye contact, doing your best to show you were serious. 

As soon as he realized you were authentic in your confession, you turned around and began sprinting, flying open the door to his penthouse 

Jumin immediately chased after you, both in a full sprint 

You screamed when you heard his breathing and steps behind you and so increased your speed 

You had at last reached a dead end, but Jumin was a ways behind you. 

You reached for the elevator button, furiously clicking it – thankfully it came on the first ding. 

You rushed inside, repeatedly tapping the door-closing button. 

You sighed at last when you felt the elevator moving up, gasping for air. 

You attempted to continue going up to the highest story, which happened to be 320, grateful that this damn skyscraper had a ton of floors. 

You froze when the door came to a stop at floor 13. You panicked, trying to force the doors not to open. 

In front of you was a random businessmen, looked slightly peeved at the long wait he must’ve had for the elegant glass elevator. 

You apologized, allowing him into the elevator along with a crowd of impatient people, some gorgeous women with a smart suit and long hair, their phone resting on their cheek next to their ear, some more businessmen, glancing anxiously at their watches. 

As the elevator climbed to floor 21, a heap of people acknowledged their stop, pressing out of the elevator shaft and onto the busy hallways of what appeared to be the finance department. 

You sighed, pressing more buttons to go up higher. 

You screeched when you felt a hand on both of your wrists, slamming you into the wall behind you. 

Jumin’s eyes were glowing from the slight sweat that was beginning to form on his brow 

He looked pissed. 

“Don’t. Ever. Run. Away. From me. Again.” 

You gazed up at him, a guilty expression clouding your face 

“S-sorry..”, you quickly looked away, not bearing to look at the anger in his expression, the way he clenched his jaw and his eyes took on a darker hue… brows knit together. He was really mad. 

“You didn’t let me answer.” He said, his voice deep. 

He leaned in closer.. you closed your eyes in anticipation. 

He breathed a laugh through his nose, resting his forehead on your collarbone and shoulder. 

You blushed in embarrassment. 

Suddenly, Jumin hugged you tightly, “I love you too, MC.” 

Zen

As a fellow artist, Zen was overjoyed to say the least when he found out about your love for singing 

Your social media accounts were growing rapidly from your posts of music covers and original songs 

You also had a deep love to playing the harp. 

It had taken a lot of coaxing to convince your father to let you pay half and he pay the other of the expense of a 200,000 Won pedal harp 

But you loved it so much 

And so does Zen 

He’d definitely insist on doing a collaboration with you 

After the recording session and upload, both your following counts grew rapidly 

Comments of all types flooded your posts: 

OMG!!! ZEN!! BEAUTIFUL ZEN!!

who’s the b*tch next to him? 

omg, right? 

ew lol 

AHHHH I LOVE YOU ZEN!!! 

MC looks so cute…

fyp!! 

ZEN AND MC WOULD MAKE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE AWEEEE 

I agree!! 귀엽다   (cute) 

Over the course of your social media endeavor, you’d learned to ignore the ruthless comments of jealous fans 

Zen was worried you’d taken them personally so he validated you a lot over the period that the video was a hit 

Zen wrote a song about you (which he definitely serenaded you with): 

“your passion, my passion one in the same this song – our communicator of my love to you. your smile each day this serenade a simple translator the time we have means so much i wouldn’t spend it any other way.” - radio wave COMMUNICATION by Zen 

The song overtook the song charts, making it’s way to the #1 spot in half a day 

You’d asked him, “Zen, are you going to make that a single? You are, aren’t you? Right?” 

“No, this is something for you and you only” 

You smiled at that, but said, “Zen, love like this deserves to be shared. This song will mean something so special to someone else, just like it means something to me. Music, what we do.. it was made to be shared.” 

Zen looked at you with stars in his eyes, taking you in a big hug. 

You truly were the kindest person he’d ever met.. and he loved you so, so much. 

Even though you may not have realized yet what the truth of his feelings were in his serenade, he knew he’d wait for the day in anticipation when he’d finally ask you to be his. 

Saeran

Saeran wasn’t personally one for dramatics, but he loved watching you perform  

You’d sing for all kinds of musicals – you’d act for a series of plays 

He loved it when you’d act in classics like Macbeth or The Phantom of the Opera

It felt like a safe place to forget everything in his life and just watch you 

But he hadn’t fallen for you for who you pretended to be, but for who you really are. 

You were shy – something he found surprising (but unbelievably adorable) because you were a well-known actress 

When you’d first met him, you were walking outside the entrance way of the theater a few hours before your showtime. 

You had accidentally tripped and spilled coffee all over some tax forms you had to fill out

You let out a soft, “oh no!” 

Saeran had been early for a nice seat (hopefully away from other people) and noticed a woman in a cute over-sized sweater was muttering words under her breath, picking up what seemed to be endless amounts of papers 

He quietly walked over and just as softly said, “…need some help..?” 

You were surprised at the sudden presence of a stranger 

“o-oh! … yes please..” 

he smiled, leaning down and picking up stacks of coffee-stained paper

“would you like me to carry them for you?”, he said 

“are you– are you sure?” you looked up at him innocently in concern 

he answered by gently taking the stack of papers, “where to..?” 

“um… i’ll show you..” 

he nodded, following you to the backstage area where there was a mirror attached to a dresser, stage makeup covering the top of it. 

“you’re an actress?” 

you grinned shyly, “everyone’s surprised..” 

“n-no, i think it suits you. i was surprised because i’m watching the show tonight.” 

“r-really? you’ll watch me?” 

he nodded, blushing at your hopeful smile 

“i’ll do my best then, if you’ll watch me..” 

“good.” he looked away 

“i’ll be waiting” you said with a soft smile 

“so will i” 

yeah you two were literally so adorable.

- 

enjoy my beautifuls

[mashkaroom]

Lengthy analysis of Holes, as promised!. This will include spoilers, which will be marked. Just gonna go through the book and the philosophy/themes/connections I caught onto this time around. Stuff discussed, in order: connections to Camus, on the question of children’s books, systems, cycles, and why Stanley is gay and jewish 😏

Camus:

The first and perhaps most obvious set of texts/theories it makes sense to put Holes in conversation with is the works of Albert Camus. Holes starts out with a description of the sun and the heat, which readers of the Stranger will remember are major themes there. The heat continues to be a prominent part of the story, though thematically, it functions very differently in the two books. In The Stranger it primarily represents the indifference of the universe (or at least so claim a ton of sources and I’m inclined to agree) and the lack of control we exert over our own lives while in Holes it’s basically the opposite of that. The heat and drought is implied to be a semi-divine punishment for a past injustice and, moreover, the elite adults of the camp have air conditioning and access to shade: the sun does not affect everyone equally in Holes as it does in The Stranger (though even that is debatable: I don’t think this was Camus’s intent, but it’s notable that it’s only the white englishman who’s driven to murder by the sun. This could certainly be read as critique of colonizers who cannot/refuse to coexist with the land and environment and how the indigenous population always suffers for it, but I digress). The other Camusian parallel one is immediately inclined to draw is that, of course, of Sysiphus: there’s the repetitive and seemingly meaningless act of digging holes not to mention that carrying stuff up a mountain is both thematically and plot-wise a very important part of Holes. But, once again, it is eventually revealed that both acts do carry an inherent meaning. Holes does not present the image of an uncaring universe: on the contrary, destiny and semi-divine influence plays a major role. The story may start out with a series of seemingly random and inherently meaningless events, but as the story progresses, people, actions, items, and events become increasingly imbued with meaning. In the Holes universe, one must imagine Sisyphus redeemed, not through the act of rolling the stone but by rebelling against it. I have difficulty imagining that Sachar was not thinking of Camus while writing Holes, or, at the very least, that if he encountered Camus afterwards, he must have been struck by the similarities. I don’t know if there was a specific intent in creating a story so embroiled in Camusian absurdism, especially since the target readership is (allegedly) children who almost certainly are not recognizing specific allusions to Camus, so perhaps the similarities are purely aesthetic — after all, everything that is nominally similar does play quite different thematic roles. However, I would never pass up the opportunity to talk about the myth of sisyphus and I think placing Holes in dialogue with Camus can raise some interesting questions about the nature of meaning.

Is Holes a children’s book?

Speaking, though, of the target audience, the audience for this book is in fact children. What about it makes it a children’s book makes it difficult to say: the protagonists are children (and, I would argue, it is not a coming of age story, despite the claims of one piece of lit crit about Holes in which i disagreed with almost every claim made, but i digress once more) and the writing style is fairly simple: you can read it with a second-grader’s vocabulary. Also, of course, being a children’s book doesn’t (and crucially shouldn’t!) mean that it’s lacking in depth and complexity. However, I think most thematically rich children’s books tend to be quite allegorical. The Little Prince is a good example. Holes is just way too specific for its sole market to be children. It’s either intended to be read by multiple generations at once or for child readers to return to it as an adult. It addresses themes of racism (and not just generic racism, anti-black racism in the reconstruction south), homelessness, intergenerational trauma. and the modern carceral system. These are social critiques that will probably go over most kids’ heads (certainly over mine). However, the themes of the text are not inaccessible for children. You don’t have to understand the particular history of the US criminal justice system or even that Sachar is making a comparison to anything specific to get that the system that he’s portraying is unjust. Knowing the real-world context just adds another layer to the text. Holes also has one of the hallmarks of children’s books that I really like, which is a particular type of absurdism that the child characters come up against. This always rang true to me as a kid and well into my teens, when you start understanding that your life is controlled by some set of systems, but you haven’t quite gotten what those systems are or why and how they came about. Like nowadays, I can say “we did this in elementary school because of a state law, that because of a federal law, that because of the history of puritanism, and this because we got a grant for it”, but as a kid nobody tells you these things or really even cares to explain why the rules are as they are, and the systems that govern your world, often with no small degree of violence and almost always with an inherent disregard for your agency, are ineffable and slippery, and good children’s books capture this really well (Series of Unfortunate Events is probably my favorite example of this, where a secret organization that everything is implicated in and more more tragicomic details about it get revealed until the Baudelaire children find themselves to some degree members with mixed feelings is honestly an excellent coming-of-age allegory. oh, not to mention the constant conflict with bureacracy. god that series is so good, everyone read it). Back to Holes, Sachar weaves the more fantastical ineffable elements in with real-world issues so neatly. Stanley’s family is allegedly cursed, which is why Stanley keeps having bad luck, but he also lives in systemic poverty, which is also why he keeps having bad luck. Sachar eschews neither the allegorical elements common in children’s literature nor the more direct systemic critiques more often found in YA and adult lit, and it creates a really unique vibe. I think the story really benefited from having a children’s author, and I would love to see more authors in both children’s and adult lit do this!

Systems

Speaking of the systems, this book is surprisingly radical. Like it’s full-on an abolitionist text. The law is pretty much only ever presented as adversarial, both in the story of Stanley’s present time, and in Kate and Sam’s story. It’s implied if not stated repeatedly that Stanley and the other boys are pretty much victims of circumstance and have been imprisoned pretty much for the crime of being poor. The hole-digging is shown to be cruel and bad for the boys. It’s noted that in digging the holes Stanley’s heart hardened along with his muscles. This is of course very evocative of the system of retributive justice we have in America. Additionally, Camp Greenlake’s existence can ultimately be traced back to an act of racist violence, also in close parallel with our prison system. Hole’s stance on justice is very restorative. Punishments are never shown to work: only through righting the wrongs can true justice be achieved. Moreover, Holes even gives the opportunity for redemption to a minor antagonist when [minor spoiler] Derrick Dunne, the kid who was bullying Stanley in the beginning ultimately plays a small role in helping Stanley regain his freedom [spoiler over].

Cycles

Cycles are a major theme in holes, and Sachar creates a unique temporality to support this theme. There are 3 interwoven stories: that of Stanley’s in the present date, that of Stanley’s ancestors, and that of the land that Stanley is on (though, as I will delve into later, it’s at least a little implied that Stanley is descended from the characters in that story also). The stories from the past reach in and touch the present. You can’t untangle the past from the future. Looking at this again through a social justice lens, it could be seen as fairly progressive commentary on what to do with regards to America’s past wrongs. The past cannot and will not be left in the past: it must be dealt with on an ongoing basis. Even the warden, the greatest villain of Stanley’s story has a sympathetic moment at the end where it’s revealed that she, too, is stuck in a cycle of intergenerational trauma she can’t break free from.

Stanley is gay and jewish

Ok, I will now talk about how Stanley is a queer Jew, but this entire section will be riddled with spoilers, so read the book first and then come back!

A queer Jew?? i hear you ask. You’re just projecting. Yes, 100%. However, I think that interpreting Stanley as both these things adds to the thematic richness of the text. Let’s start with the Jewish bit: it’s not explicitly stated that Stanley is Jewish, but his great-great grandfather is a nerd-boy Latvian immigrant with the last name Yelnats, and his great-grandfather was a stockbrocker, so, like, ya know. Louis Sachar is also himself Jewish, as was the director of the movie, who cast Jews in the roles of Stanley and his family (dyk Shia LaBeouf is Jewish?? i did not), so I know I’m not the only one interpreting it this way. And honestly, does it not resemble the book of exodus quite a bit? They escape what is pretty much a form of slavery and wander in the desert. Sploosh resembles the well of Miriam, and then they ascend up a mountain to the “thumb of god”, perhaps in a parallel to Moses receiving the commandments. Is this a useful way to look at the text? Who knows. But what I think we do get from reading Stanley as Jewish is a more nuanced discussion of privilege and solidarity. If Stanley and his ancestors are Jewish (or at least Jew-ish), then what placed the curse upon his family (and, we see, Madame Zeroni’s family isn’t doing so great either) is the breaking of solidarity between oppressed people. But also, the fact that you are also marginalized does not wash you of the responsibility to other marginalized groups. I don’t think Sachar intended it this way, because I think he probably would have talked about it more if he had, but I would say this book can be read as a call to the American Jewish community to take an active role in forging solidarity with other marginalized groups and actively righting the wrong you, your ancestors, and your community wrought upon them.

Now, why do I think Stanley and Zero are gay? Before I go into how it augments the text thematically, I bring to your attention this passage.

Two nights later, Stanley lay awake staring up at the star-filled sky. He was too happy to fall asleep. 

He knew he had no reason to be happy. He had heard or read somewhere that right before a person freezes to death, he suddenly feels nice and warm. He wondered if perhaps he was experiencing something like that. 

It occurred to him that he couldn't remember the last time he felt happiness. It wasn't just being sent to Camp Green Lake that had made his life miserable. Before that he'd been unhappy at school, where he had no friends, and bullies like Derrick Dunne picked on him. No one liked him, and the truth was, he didn't especially like himself. 

He liked himself now.

 He wondered if he was delirious. He looked over at Zero sleeping near him. Zero's face was lit in the starlight, and there was a flower petal in front of his nose that moved back and forth as he breathed. It reminded Stanley of something out of a cartoon. Zero breathed in, and the petal was drawn up, almost touching his nose. Zero breathed out, and the petal moved toward his chin. It stayed on Zero's face for an amazingly long time before fluttering off to the side. 

Stanley considered placing it back in front of Zero's nose, but it wouldn't be the same.

Girl, I’m sorry, that’s gay as shit! It’s such tremendous tenderness, not to mention the traditionally romantic imagery of moonlight and the flower petal. There’s also the non-romantic aspects. Stanley’s inexplicable happiness and suddenly liking himself evokes, for me, at least, the experience of coming out to yourself, of realizing who you are. Later in this chapter, Stanley contemplates running away with Zero despite the fact that it would make them lifelong outlaws. This book, remember, was written in 1998, and homosexuality was decriminalized in 2003, and the book takes place in Texas. It would have been, if anything, even more evocative of gayness when it was published. Now as to how this increases the thematic richness of the text: obviously, in carrying Hector up to the thumb, giving him water, and singing the lullaby, he redeems the wrong done by his ancestor, after which his family’s luck immediately changed. However, after Hector and Zero return to camp Greenlake, rain falls there for the first time. What was redeemed here? Remember that earlier on we learn that what caused the drought was the fact that Sam the onion man (who was black) was murdered for kissing Kate Barlow (who was white) — so what would a [post-factum wronging of that right look like? Zero, as we remember, is black while Stanley is white, so them being in a romantic relationship would be a successful interracial relationship to redeem the one Kate and Sam weren’t able to have. It’s also, as I said earlier, implied that Stanley is descended from Kate Barlow on his mother’s side: Stanley remembers seeing the other half of the lipstick tube with her initials on it in his mother’s bedroom. I’d also argue that Sam the Onion Man is implied to be descended from Madame Zeroni (chronology-wise, I think he’d be her grandson). First of all, there’s no follow-up with Madame Zeroni’s son who moved to America, and pretty much all other plot threads are followed up with in Holes. Secondly, Sam mentions water running uphill, just like Madame Zeroni does. Even without these speculations being true, Stanley and Hector being gay would redeem the land they’re on, but If they are, the parallel with the other ancestral redemption arc becomes to much to imagine it was unintentional.

So anyway, those are my thoughts on Holes, now everyone go read it!

[tiz-chan]

SnK characters and their arcana if they were in a Persona game:

note: the descriptions come from Labyrinthos Academy. Some traits are upright readings, whereas others are reverse. I just tried to pick whichever traits I thought matched best. 

Eren: The Chariot

Determination

Ambition

Willpower

Aggression

Obstacles 

The Chariot tarot card is all about overcoming challenges and gaining victory through maintaining control of your surroundings. This perfect control and confidence allows the charioteer to emerge victorious in any situation. The use of strength and willpower are critical in ensuring that you overcome the obstacles that lie in your path. The Chariot's message comes to make you stronger as you strive to achieve your goals.

Mikasa: The Lovers

Love

Unity

Choices

Detachment

Indecision

The primary meaning within the Lovers is harmony, attractiveness, and perfection in a relationship. The trust and the unity that the lovers have gives each of them confidence and strength, empowering the other. The bond that they have created is very strong. A more personal Lovers meaning that can apply to individuals is the development of your own personal belief systems, regardless of what are the societal norms. This is one of the times when you figure out what you are going to stand for, and what your philosophy in life will truly be. You must start making up your mind about what you find important and unimportant in your life. You should be as true to yourself as you can be, so you will be genuine and authentic to the people who are around you.

Armin: The Magician

Desire

Resourcefulness

Concentration

Cunning

Manipulation

When you get the Magician in your reading, it might mean that it's time to tap into your full potential without hesitation. It might be in your new job, new business venture, a new love or something else. It shows that the time to take action is now and any signs of holding back would mean missing the opportunity of becoming the best version of yourself. Certain choices will have to be made and these can bring great changes to come. Harness some of the Magician's power to make the world that you desire most.

Historia: The Empress

Sensuality

Nurturing

Creativity

Insecurity

Negligence

The Empress shows us how deeply we are embedded to our femininity. Femininity could be associated with fertility, expression, creativity and nurturing among many other aspects. It therefore calls you to connect with beauty and bring happiness to your life. Understand yourself and get in touch with your sensuality so that you can attract life circumstances to bring happiness and joy. She is a signal that be kind to yourself, to take care of yourself. The Empress is also a strong indication of pregnancy and motherhood.

Jean: Death

Transformations

Transition

Letting go

Repeating negative patterns

Fear of change

The Death card signals that one major phase in your life is ending, and a new one is going to start. You just need to close one door, so the new one will open. The past needs to be placed behind you, so you can focus your energy on what is ahead of you.

Reiner: The Moon

Complexity

Secrets

Confusion

Deception

Anxiety

the Moon card can symbolize your imagination is taking the best of you. In the dark of the night, you are taking a path that you are unsure of, for there could be danger lurking in its depths. You are the crawfish embarking on the path in the card. The moon's light can bring you clarity and understanding and you should allow your intuition to guide you through this darkness.

Bertholdt: The Tower

Destruction

Trauma

Sudden Change

Upheaval

Chaos

The Tower represents change in the most radical and momentous sense. It is for this reason that the card itself visually looks so unnerving. But it doesn't necessarily have to be truly frightening or ominous. Because at the heart of this card, its message is foundational, groundbreaking change. The kind of event that the Tower card marks does not have to be something terrible, like a disaster or a great loss.  Change itself is a normal part of life that one has to embrace. But it can sometimes strike fear, for it means that we must abandon the truths that we have known prior to this event. The old ways are no longer useful, and you must find another set of beliefs, values and processes to take their place.

Annie: The Hermit

Contemplation

Solitude

Self-reflection

Rejection

Loneliness

You are currently contemplating that you need to be alone. Never be afraid to take this chance to reflect, as it could help you clear your mind of all the clutter that comes with everyday life. The Hermit may also refer to your effort in taking action that is authentic and aligned with your true self. You are perhaps searching your inner soul for guidance on what is right, and where your next steps are to be.

Levi: Justice

Honesty

Integrity

Consequences

Fairness

Cause and Effect

The decisions that you make now have long-term effects in all things, both for yourself and others. There will always come a time where you will be judged. The Justice tarot card appearing in a reading signals that a judgment will be made fairly and accordingly. The decisions that you have made in the past will be carefully weighed with fairness.

Hanji: The Sun

Success

Optimism

Confidence

Excessive Enthusiasm

Unrealistic Expectations

The Sun card represents success, abundance, and radiance. Like the sun itself, it gives strength and vitality to all those that are lucky enough to feel its rays. There is much joy and happiness that is coming to you. Because of your own personal fulfillment, you provide others with inspiration and joy as well. People are drawn to you because they are capable of seeing the warm and beautiful energy which you bring into their lives. You are also in a position in which you are capable of sharing your qualities as well as achievements with other people. You radiate love and affection towards those you care about the most.

Erwin: The Emperor

Authority

Control

Focus

Protection

Stubborn

It’s all about control when it comes to the Emperor, for this card means authority, regulation, organization and a fatherliness. The Emperor represents a strategic thinker who sets out plans that he must see through. He is a symbol of the masculine principle - the paternal figure in life that gives structure, creates rules and systems, and imparts knowledge. Where the Empress's desire for their kingdom is to create happiness, the emperor desires to foster honor and discipline. He guides with a firm hand, following the calling of the crown above all else. Though he is a ruler, he understands that to reign is also to serve - thus he acts rationally and according to what is for the greater good of the kingdom.

Ymir: The Hanged-Man

Sacrifice

Uncertainty 

Contemplation

Lack of direction

Waiting

The hanged man understands that his position is a sacrifice that he needed to make in order to progress forward - whether as repentance for past wrongdoings, or a calculated step backward to recalculate his path onward. This time he spends here will not be wasted, he does this as part of his progression forward. His upside down state can also symbolize the feeling of those that walk a spiritual path, for they see the world differently. Where there are others that do not understand the need to sacrifice, you see it differently. This is a natural course of action for you as you walk the path alone.

Marco: The Star

Hope

Inspiration

Positivity

Faith

Renewal

The Star brings hope, renewed power, and strength to carry on with life. It shows how abundantly blessed you are by the universe as evidenced by the various things around you. It may not be directly evident at the moment, for this card follows the trauma of the Tower card. Remember that you hold within you all that you need for your fulfillment - the only thing that you need is courage. For this, you have all reasons to rejoice. To see this card is a message to have faith, for the universe will bless you and bring forth all that you need.

Sasha: Strength

Courage

Confidence

Compassion

Inner-power 

Cowardice 

When you get the Strength card in an upright manner during your tarot reading, then it shows that you have inner strength and fortitude during moments of danger and distress. It shows that you have the ability to remain calm and strong even when your life is going through immense struggle. It also shows that you are a compassionate person and you always have time for other people even if it's at your own expense.

Connie: The Fool

Beginnings 

Adventure

Reckless

Naive

Distracted

To see the The Fool generally means a beginning of a new journey, one where you will be filled with optimism and freedom from the usual constraints in life. When we meet him, he approaches each day as an adventure, in an almost childish way. He believes that anything can happen in life and there are many opportunities that are lying out there, in the world, waiting to be explored and developed. He leads a simple life, having no worries, and does not seem troubled by the fact that he cannot tell what he will encounter ahead.

Zeke: The Devil

Oppression

Addiction

Obsession

Independence

Reclaiming control

Getting the devil card in your reading shows that you have feelings of entrapment, emptiness and lack of fulfillment in your life. It might also mean that you are a slave to materialism and opulence and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to shake off the feeling of wanting to indulge in luxurious living. Addiction to substances or material pleasures can also be the reason for your feelings of powerlessness and entrapment. In situations such as these, you may feel as though you are a slave, unable to control your impulses or willpower to direct yourself towards something other than the satisfaction of these desires.

[dwellordream]

“…Many readings of Troilus and Criseyde suggest that Criseyde occupies a masculine space in the narrative that is vacated by Troilus through his courtly love behavior – certainly in the first three books of the poem, and perhaps the fourth as well, since there, Troilus is rendered passive in the parliament, in the bedroom, and in his inability to affect any change of circumstance, or even to change Criseyde’s mind. Perhaps more useful, however, is recognizing Criseyde as offering up an alternative, female masculinity. Speaking of the Wife of Bath, Karma lochrie implies that Chaucer challenges ideas of masculinity, noting “by placing masculinity, with its ties to authority, commerce, violent mastery, social mobility, and publicity, ‘up for grabs,’ the Wife performs an alternative masculinity.”

Given that Criseyde is already, to misquote Chaucer’s Franklin’s Tale, “lord in love” (5.793), the possibilities for her offering up an alternative masculinity that extends beyond the boundaries of the romance plot into the epic and thus bring her into what lochrie calls the “world of marital rivalry, textual contestation, and sexual struggle” come to the fore. Criseyde’s authority in romance is unsurprising: the lady is conventionally constructed as the locus of power against the vulnerability created by the male lover’s desire. For all her seeming anxiety about the love affair, Criseyde appears to be the far more experienced, active lover, another function of her widowhood. If Troilus’s inactivity prevents him from showing a “mannes herte,” Criseyde’s composure suggests that she possesses one.

The overarching narrative conventions of romance render her masculine in these first books, provided readers proceed from the shreds of definitions of masculinity that Chaucer offers up. However, once the war reasserts itself within the narrative, and epic takes over from romance, the reading of Criseyde as “tendre-herted, slydynge of corage” (5.825) tends to dominate readers’ understanding and thus becomes the source for both condemnation and sympathy. The image of her “with women fewe, among the Grekis stronge” (5.688), with all its implicit threat, becomes a symbol of a reclaimed feminine isolation and vulnerability.

This reading ultimately negates Criseyde, rendering her formless and passive, which the poem quietly but steadily refuses to do. Understanding Criseyde as entirely vulnerable and useless, unable to escape her father and prey to the dangerous advances of powerful men, is to make her, in Mary Behrman’s words, “much less interesting. Stripped of any motives of her own, Criseyde becomes a mere automaton, and the readers’ interests switch to the men who manipulate her.” Criseyde is either “the tale’s victim or its villain.” She can be read as a simple traitor to love, who should have chosen death over dishonor (or Diomede) when circumstances refused to allow her to return to Troy, but while many readers have done so, the poem suggests a more complex course: it reveals her as condemned not because she is “slydynge of corage,” but because she acts in self-protection, choosing the most powerful figure around as her protector in Greece as she had in Troy, denying certain elements of her own desires to do so.

Thus, Criseyde’s failure in Troilus and Criseyde comes not from her rejection of her position as the masculinized lady created by the romance genre, but in her at least partially successful attempt to preserve it, even within the epic narrative of war. Halberstam’s definition of masculinity is essentially epic, noting that it seems to “extend outward to patriarchy and inward into the family”; that it “represents the power of inheritance, the consequences of the traffic in women, and the promise of social privilege”; that it inevitably “conjures up notions of power and legitimacy and privilege”; and that it “refers to the power of the state,” she could be describing the gendered dynamics of Troilus and Criseyde. By maintaining her active, self-determining position within the war, instead of accepting the feminine vulnerability that brought about her trade in the first place, Criseyde attempts to save herself, if not her reputation.

Throughout the poem, Criseyde’s portrayal creates a tension between passive construction and self-determined action; she is pulled between the roles that the text’s genres create for her and the contradictory actions the poet allows her to take, which, to increase confusion, are often a product of the very roles they seem to countermand. Part of the difficulty arises from the ways that Criseyde is defined by the passive femininity conveyed by her status as solitary widow and romance lady. Indeed, Gretchen Mieszkowski views her as “substanceless, ... a lack” in her position of the “lady of courtly love” and adds that “she responds to others; she does not act herself. She stands for no independent values. She is Western woman: supportiveness without content, and absence of being, the Other, sheer responsiveness, no one at all.” Chaucer certainly opens up the possibility of reading Criseyde as passive femininity through the emphasis on her solitude, although this, too, is ultimately ambiguous.

Her fear, which by Book 5 comes to be an essential texture of her portrait, makes her vulnerable, while her role as desired object also renders her passive and observed, tied to the conventions of love. Yet ironically, her fear causes her to act as much in Book 5 as in Book 1, and it is her position as romance heroine that provides her with a kind of subjectivity and authority in the love relationship that does not completely vanish at the point of consummation but continues to inform her actions – and Troilus’s expectations – in Book 4. Even her widowhood is an ambiguous symbol of passivity and activity. Widowhood is a kind of solitude, as we see in Chaucer’s repeated use of the word “alone” to describe Criseyde, but it also provides an opportunity for women to be free of male control, a status she later calls to the reader’s attention.

…This picture is further complicated by the reintroduction of her anxiety; she is “Wel neigh out of hir wit for sorwe and fere” (1.108). Yet this very fear, which would seem to render her inert, does the opposite; taking control of her situation, she allies herself with the most powerful, most masculine figure the poem offers, Hector, the prince of Troy. Always a warrior, never a lover (his wife, Andromache, never enters the text), Hector occupies one of the few uncom-promised spaces. Edward Condren sees Criseyde’s plea here as an attempt at seduction; in abandoning “her passivity to lay her helplessness before Hector,” she aims to cast him as her lover.

Although this argument is somewhat unconvincing, Condren’s analysis remains suggestive: if Criseyde is indeed making this ploy, she is casting herself in the male role. After all, Blamires reminds us, “that, since men ‘do’ the deed in sex and pursue women, then women are recipients not agents where sexual activity is concerned.” Readers of Chaucer are aware from the Book of the duchess that the male lover casts himself at the lady’s feet crying “Merci”; of course, Troilus and Criseyde offers this formula as well. So in her mixture of passivity and activity – Condren agrees that “this sequence ... remains the only act planned and executed by Criseyde herself”– she mirrors two male activities.

Of the two, however, her active choice to connect herself to Hector bears greater implications for understanding Criseyde’s masculinity in the poem. Berhman points out that Criseyde “admires men of action, men like heroic Hector who value their individuality and refuse to let challenges daunt them.”Her vision of Troilus as war hero causes her to fall in love with him, not any admiration for the passive lover who writes the letter and whom Pandarus represents. The Troilus she sees is “a knyghtly sighte” (2.628). To look on him is “to loke on Mars, that god is of bataille” (2.630); he is further described as “so like a man of armes and a knight / He was to seen, fulfilled of heigh prowesse” (2.631–32). Troilus here appears at his most Hector-like, which the people’s cry, “‘Here cometh oure joye / And, next his brother, holder up of Troye!’” (2.643–44), firmly cements in Criseyde’s mind.

…That she ends up loving Troilus does not negate her acknowledgment of her own active will in her choice; she is not simply the objectified lady of romance. Even when the romance constitutes her as passive and desired, the immobile object of her dream of the eagle in Book 2, Criseyde “certainly does not view herself as a passive person” on whom meaning is imposed. Again, the reader is confronted with a tension between Criseyde’s fear and her self-determining force. At this moment, her understanding of her widowhood as a complex position is also revealed. The role of modest widow suggests a kind of isolation, if only a social one that allows singing and reading with her ladies, and Criseyde’s dark clothing “evokes both the idea of Criseyde’s vulnerability and the visual sign of her personal loss” and testifies “to the reality of human mortality and mutability,” while emphasizing her “state of being alone and vulnerable.”

It also suggests a possible availability: “the role [of modest widow] is not compatible with a sexual relationship, but it is compatible with the platonic segment of the lady-role, which Pandarus bullies Criseyde into accepting.” Yet in her widowhood, Criseyde sees her own freedom: “I am myn owene womman, wel at ese,/I thank it God – as after myn estat,/Right yong, and stonde unteyd in lusty leese, Withouten jalousie or swich debat./Shal noon housbonde seyn to me ‘Chek mat!’ For either they ben ful of jalousie,/Or maisterfull, or loven novelrie.” (2.750–56) Her recognition that widowhood provides self determination because it frees women from the hierarchies of the sexual economy causes Criseyde to ask “‘Sholde I now love, and put in jupartie / My sikernesse, and thrallen libertee?’” (2.773–74), noting that in love, “‘we wrecched women nothing konne’” (2.781).

In contrast to the earlier presentation of widowhood as fearful solitude, here it becomes an active, powerful position that allows for self-determination and self- construction. Criseyde’s chess metaphor reveals her masculine agency again: while “Criseyde’s allusion to chess also reveals that she thinks of herself in martial terms,” allying herself with the powerfully masculine figures of Hector and Troilus in their warrior guise that has just been presented to her, it also shows the potential for the female to take on masculine traits of mobility, power, and central importance. Or, as Jenny Adams comments, “a reader/player, who sees himself or herself as a piece on the board, must take responsibility for his or her own ethical conduct”; therefore, the player becomes responsible for her own actions rather than perceiving herself as acted upon.

In chess, the queen is the most versatile piece, able to move in all directions and any number of squares, while the king is limited to a single square’s movement, and his capture loses the game. Indeed, the king is a quite feminized figure in chess; he runs and hides behind the castle, and if he must start moving around, the player is in trouble. If widowhood allows Criseyde to assume the metaphoric position of a chess queen, it also allows her to win within a metaphor equally suited to love and to war, the two worlds of Chaucer’s poem. In the romance world, Criseyde claims the power available to romance heroines. This power may ultimately be a conventional fiction providing no real autonomy, but it remains inscribed in the story as a given. Criseyde is aware of and seems to enjoy some of these elements of power while understanding the difference between them and the more “real” autonomy of her widowhood.

Criseyde adds to the powers of romance a self-determining factor. The contrast between the two lovers’ decisions are striking; “while Troilus performs his unconditional surrender in a soliloquy, Criseyde negotiates a contract in front of a witness, fixing the rights and duties of both parties.” Blamires calls this a radical disruption of the “passive/active assumption in the scenes of courtship of Criseyde,” and in so doing alerts readers to the shifting nature of gender within the love narrative. In establishing the terms under which she will agree to love Troilus – that her honor and reputation will be protected – Criseyde again defines the terms of her consent – and does so publicly, thus in the masculine realm. That these guarantees ultimately fail does not detract from Criseyde’s self-determination, but from its ability to function within the assumptions of the genres of the narrative. The irony of her desires – the protection of her honor and reputation – given the ending of the poem only serves to create greater tension between the roles Criseyde attempts to play and the boundaries the worlds of Troy and the Greek camp (as well as the boundaries of epic and romance) impose.”

- Angela Jane Weisl, “A Mannes Game”: Criseyde’s Masculinity in Troilus and Criseyde

[lavaffair]

Talk To Me, Princess

Smut/Lemon. Sequel to Tongue Tied.

Guys this was 17 pages omg. 7k words!

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34295722

It was around one in the morning by the time the group of friends made it back to Sango and Kagome’s apartment complex, the alcohol in their system now reduced to nothing but a warm feeling after eating and drinking enough water to sober back up. Miroku, being the designated driver, had sobered up before everyone else since he only had one drink, but his girlfriend Sango had gone a little too far and had drunk past her limit. If it were not for Kagome she would have gone until she was unable to walk out of the lounge.

It had been a long time since the group went out like this due to Inuyasha’s laboring job at the repair shop, but he was off tomorrow, and if it were not for Sango going farther than she had planned they would have stayed out a bit longer tonight. Their friend needed to get some sleep and deal with her hangover tomorrow. Staying up later and giving her the option to possibly drink more was out of the question.

While Sango giggled and flirted with Miroku in the passenger seat, Inuyasha and Kagome cuddled up together in the back. Earlier they had announced to their best friends that they were dating, not like it was a shocker for the couple, because neither of them could keep a secret apparently. It made for an easy transition into the rest of the night, and as it continued they only got touchier, stealing quick pecks and long stares with one another while also not being able to keep their hands off of each other.

At some point during their time at the club, Kagome had settled into Inuyasha’s lap while chatting with Sango. Miroku had given the half-demon a sly, cunning look and it took everything in him not to blush four shades of red. Inuyasha decided to say nothing in regard to his friend's teasing and instead opted to keep one hand on Kagome’s thigh while the other had formed into a fist. He liked to have her sit on his lap whenever the opportunity came by, and whenever she walked past him while he was sat down he would pull her towards him and cover her in kisses.

Miroku drove up to the stairway that led up to the girl’s apartment and unlocked the car doors. Kagome sent him a questioning look, “Aren’t you gonna help me bring her upstairs?”

“Listen, Sango’s way far gone and I’m sure you two would rather be alone tonight than babysitting your drunk roommate.” Miroku stated matter of factly, “Plus, she’s a lot more into cuddling when she’s like this and I’m selfish.”

“But what about her hangover?” Kagome laughed.

“It’s not my first time helping her get through one. We’ll both be fine! Let me have my cuddle time.” He said with a pout on his face.

Inuyasha shook his head and decided to open the door before Miroku could continue, and climbed out first so Kagome could follow behind him. She shut the door carefully before shooting Miroku a happy grin, “Okay, well, goodnight! Remember to remove her makeup before you go to bed!”

Their friend laughed, “She’ll have my ass if I don’t.” He put the car back into drive, giving his two friends one last look. “Have fun, and do everything I would do.” He winked playfully and rolled up the window while driving out of the complex to go home.

Kagome hummed and grabbed her boyfriend's hand in contentment, taking note of the cute blush on his cheeks. “Well, this is our first night where you’re sleeping over at my place. Let’s go!” She was blushing a beautiful shade of pink as the realization kicked in, and all he wanted to do was kiss her at the sight.

Inuyasha grinned and walked beside Kagome to her apartment. He trying to hold himself back from touching her until they reached the confines of her unit, where no one could see how gorgeous she looked when he had her pinned to the wall. He could not stop thinking about their earlier session when she had conveniently left her phone behind after Miroku and Sango waited in the car. He wanted to kiss her again like that, but for much longer, and with more freedom to explore. Now that they did not have to sneak around anymore he could kiss her senseless whenever he wanted, but the first of many would be tonight, while she looked like a goddess in this green dress.

The closer they got to the door the antsier he got and his hunger for her grew. He reached for her waist to pull her closer in order to kiss up her exposed neck. She was in a fit of giggles while his lips tickled her with every movement of his lips, and she tilted her head to give him better access. As she continued to walk forward his grip on her waist tightened while his lips never detached from her neck.

Kagome’s heart rate was erratic as the couple got closer to her apartment door. She could not stop the little whimpers that escaped her lips with every new kiss. The tickling feeling was soon turning into something deeper, a need for him growing more and more, and she wished the door could just appear in front of them. It was only a couple of steps away while she fumbled with her bag to find her keys, one hand in her purse while the other was tangled in Inuyasha’s hair.

Finally, when they were standing just outside the door she clumsily fit her key into the lock and pushed it open. As soon as the couple walked in she was spun around with her back hitting the wall and two arms caging her in on both sides. Inuyasha kicked the door closed with his foot and Kagome could feel the walls shake, but she had no time to chastise him for slamming it because his lips were on hers instantly. The fire that had been growing between them was now set ablaze as their lips molded together.

Hungry large hands explored her body encased within the tight dress as they stroke her sides and roughly squeezed her hips. A squeal escaped her mouth but it was swallowed by Inuyasha’s hungry lips.

“Baby,” Kagome moaned. She fisted her hands into his jacket to try to get some control, “You couldn’t even let me turn the lights on first?”

Inuyasha kissed her again, down her jaw and neck, and relished in her breathless gasps. The intense need she has for him growing stronger by the seconds, and her hands were pulling him closer to her body before she could process it.

“We’ll turn the lights on. ‘Cause I wanna see you.” His tongue lapped her neck, causing a whimper to leave her hot mouth. Her back arched in response to his touches and he could not bite back the smirk.

“I wanna see all of you.”

A fire ignited in her lower belly at the husky, deep tone in his voice. Her hands ran from his chest to his neck as she wrapped her arms around it to pull him impossibly closer. He sucked on the most sensitive part of her nape, his hands sliding down to cup her ass, and gave it a little squeeze.

She gasped in reaction and jumped closer to his body, instantly feeling how aroused he was when her thighs caressed his pants. “Do that again.” she pleaded, and he listened, squeezing her plump bottom once again.

Her lips found his in a feverish kiss as it grew deeper and passionate, sparking new and uncovered territory. They have never kissed with such intensity before, usually going for the slow and sensual make-out sessions in Inuyasha’s home. This one felt fiery and real, promising the possibly taking a bigger step into their relationship. They could not get enough of each other, still so close but yet not close enough.

Feeling braver and impatient, Inuyasha slid his hand from her waist to her exposed thigh and felt the goosebumps forming on Kagome’s skin. He kissed her once more before detaching his lips from hers and kissing her up to her ear.

“Tell me if there’s anything I do that you don’t like,” he bit the bottom of her ear, “Ya gotta be verbal with me baby.” his husky voice sent shivers down her spine and all she could do was nod.

“Yes or no?” he asked again, the huskies in his voice only making her wetter.

“Yes.” She breathed. “Yes, I’ll tell you.”

Inuyasha smirked at her, not that she could see it, and ran a fang carefully from her ear down to the base of her neck. The movement caused her breathing to hitch and her back to arch into him again. Her breasts squeezing right into his chest for only him to see. He licked up from her throat, then her jaw, and up back to her lips.

“Can I touch you?”

His voice was so deep and rich it caused her to squeeze her thighs together in response. Kagome looked at his mouth before meeting his fierce, ember eyes that held nothing but a desire for her which caused a hotter fire to ignite in the apex of her thighs.

“Yes, please,” she whimpered. “Please touch me Inuyasha.”

His pants only got uncomfortably tighter from his cock reacting to her eager begging. His hand slowly caressed her thigh as it moved upwards towards her pussy. He could already feel the heat coming from it as it mixed with the scent of her arousal. His large hand wrapped around her thigh and firmly held it there while his thumb moved in slow circles.

“Good girl,” he praised. “Keep talking to me, princess. You’re starting off so good.” He couldn’t help the growl that vibrated in his chest at the sound of her gasp.

He continued to tease her and lightly stroke her inner thigh which caused jolts of electricity to fire into her abdomen.. She arched into him and whined at the lack of touch to the spot she wanted his hand most.

“Stop teasing! I need you to touch me!” She protested, her head rolling back on the wall.

Inuyasha dove towards her collarbone and sucked roughly, he knew that one was going to leave a mark, and he loved the idea of it. He needed other people to know Kagome was his, especially after tonight, and after staying secret for so long he was going to milk it for what it was worth.

“Needy little thing aren’t you?” He groaned into her throat, “Where do you want my hand?”

Sliding his hand from her thigh to her clothed pussy, he palmed it and slid his fingers up and down her slit. “Here?”

Kagome gasped at the touch of his palm, finally landing where she wanted it to be. Her hands gripped his shoulders for balance while he continued to touch her.

“Kagome, tell me if this is where you wanted me to touch you.” His deep voice rumbled in his chest.

“Mmm,” Kagome nodded quickly. “Yes, right there.”

He groaned at the sound of her voice, knowing that he would never get enough of it from now on. Making out while she sat on his lap and groped her ass was one thing, but touching her and hearing her moan pathetically was another. He immediately made it his mission to always make sure his girl is pleasured first before him. He wants to make her cum more than she thinks she can handle, and more than he will, because she deserves it.

“I can already tell how wet you are just from touching you.” Inuyasha praised.

He kissed her again, sloppy and passionate because he needs her as much as she needs him. Every moan and whimper she made he swallowed into his mouth, slowly continuing his ministrations on her slit.

“Baby,” he whispered into her mouth. “You look so pretty like this.”

He slid her panties to the side and could not stifle the moan that left his lips at the absolute wetness of her. She was soaked, practically dripping from his fingers and he wanted a taste.

“Is this still okay?” He asked, because even with his dick painfully hard he wanted to be sure she was comfortable.

“Yes, please, do whatever you want to me.” He watched her lust-filled eyes blink once, twice, at his fingers while she continued to make those beautiful little sounds.

He started to explore her folds at a faster rhythm and she mewled, tilting forward to lay on his shoulder as he circled a finger around her clit. Her body was moving on its own and her breathing turned more ragged as he touched her. She felt euphoric, fiery hot, and blissful all at the same time. If he continued she knew she was going to lose control of herself and will give in to her need. She wanted this, craved it like water on a hot day, the tension between them these last few weeks almost too intense to endure. Kagome would have cracked if they had continued to circle around each other, but now that this was happening and she could feel his hands on her, she could finally relax and enjoy the ride.

“Whatever I want huh?” He sent her a toothy grin and her body tingled with excitement. He looked like himself for just a second before a dark, lustful gaze glazed over his eyes.

Before she could react he dipped down to his knees and pushed her back against the wall again. Lifting one leg over his shoulder he pressed his fingers firmly into her thigh while the other pulled her panties further to the side and exposing her fully. He lapped her up with one long, hot lick of his tongue which caused her entire body to shiver. She moaned loudly and automatically pressed herself closer to his mouth. He smirked into her pussy, feeling her juices drip down his chin as he continued to move his tongue all over her.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome moaned brokenly, “Mmm don’t stop!”

Both furry ears stayed up at attention towards her as he listened to every broken moan, whimper, and breath that left her swollen lips. He was attuned to every noise she made and to the way she reacted to his touches. It was the sexiest thing he has ever seen, heard, and experienced.

He sucked on her clit causing a throaty moan to leave her mouth, her body moving on its own and grinding against his hot tongue. He was in heaven watching her from above him up against this wall. The strap of her dress cascading down her left shoulder, hem bunched up against her stomach, with her black hair falling beautifully around her face. It made him believe she was a goddess that he was lucky enough to touch.

Inuyasha was a greedy bastard and wanted her to feel more than just his tongue. He wanted to prep her beforehand, get her ready and comfortable for what was happening after this. With a finger still slick with her honey he eased one slowly inside her hole, pumping in and out at a steady pace. Another moan left her while she stared up to the ceiling and looked like she was giving a prayer. His name, falling from her lips like an invocation that was too good to stop.

Adding a second finger carefully into her pussy, he felt her tremble from the intrusion but grew louder at the pleasure she was feeling as he continued to drive his fingers into her sopping hole. Stretching her just right and hitting her center just where she needed. He extended his fingers into a v-shape while moving within her and Kagome fell forward, moving her hands from his shoulders to his head. She pulled at an ear and he growled into her, the deep vibrations causing her to see stars. The final step to feeling the warmth growing in her tummy.

“I’m close!” She cried, “Please!”

Flicking her clit quickly with his tongue he matched the speed with his fingers, watching her roll her eyes back as she took it like a champ. He felt like a fucking god watching her lose control over his tongue, and he is going to feel like Zuez himself when he makes her cum on his dick.

He released his mouth from her just for a brief moment, fingers still milking her pussy as it sucked them in, and grinned.

“Come for me baby, you look so good.” Seeing her body react to his praises, and the convulsing from her pussy made him continue. “You’re so sexy Kagome, milking my fingers in like the good girl you are. I know you wanna cum for me, and I wanna watch you cum.”

He kissed her clit and flicked his tongue around it once again. “Cum on my face princess.”

She was beginning to shake, the feeling of her orgasm coming in like a wave she could not stop and did not want to stop. When she felt him suck on her clit for the last time all she could see was white. Her body shook violently, crying out his name as one steady hand left her thigh to hold her at her stomach. She felt cold and burning hot at the same time, her lungs heaving for air while she came back down from heaven.

Inuyasha held her steady as he watched his girl come down from her first orgasm, the evidence of what he had just done on his chin. He reveled in this view of her with sun-kissed cheeks, swollen lips, and a sheen of sweat on her forehead. Kagome’s eyes were half-lidded, still full of lust while her body recovered from the intensity of her climax.

“Baby, how ya feeling’?”

“Amazing.” She smiled.

“You’re gonna feel like a goddess by the time I’m done with you.” He smirked.

Lifting her up from her bottom he kissed her passionately as he walked them into her bedroom. Her bare legs wrapped around his waist tightly making his hardened cock twitch at the warmth coming from between her thighs. After opening the door he switched on the lights and set her down on the bed, continuing to kiss her feverishly while his hands roamed her bare legs.

He licked her neck which gifted him a whimpered moan, and he did it again just for the hell of it. Kissing down her shoulder, his lips brushed over the strap of her dress as he continued to move downward. He wanted to pull the dress entirely off of her body and worship her the way he knew she deserved, but her pert nipples were poking through the material of her dress, and Inuyasha could not help himself at the sight. He deserved a little more fun, and she deserved a little bit of teasing.

Poking his tongue out he flicked the bud briefly and he heard his girl moan at the feeling of friction from his tongue licking over the dress. Continuing his ministrations he did it to the other nipple which gifted him the same reaction. He was going to drive himself crazy with his urge to rip the dress right off of her, choosing to focus on the fact that she would kill him if he did, he held himself back. Instead, he ran his hands from her neck to her shoulder and stopped at the fallen green straps.

“Pull your arms out of the straps.” He huskily ordered.

Kagome’s breathing was ragged and sharp, the anticipation of what was going to come next was driving her up the wall. All she wanted was for him to touch her, anywhere and everywhere, with his hands and mouth. Her arousal was pooling in her soaked panties once again and she did not know how much longer she could go on without him touching her. It was as if she was on autopilot hearing his request, her arms moving before her brain could process what she was doing. She removed the straps from her dress where now they hung awkwardly between her chest and underarms, her chest seconds away from being totally exposed to the man aboveher.

Inuyasha’s eyes were full of fire and lust at the sight of her, the top of the dress now clinging on to nothing to hold it up. As it slowly began to slide down her full chest, Inuyasha’s patience grew thin. In one swift motion, he tugged the rest of the dress down to her tummy, her full, plump tits falling out and completely exposed for him. Hard pink nipples poking out for him to take into his mouth and have a taste.

“Fuck Kagome.” He rasped, ending the conversation at that.

He bent forward and licked around the areola, kissing and sucking on the creamy skin surrounding it while his hand rolled and kneaded the other one, completely avoiding her nipples. Kagome was a puddle in his hands, her breathing and gasps growing louder as he teased her. He switched to the other breast and repeated the same motion, completely avoiding the pink nipples that were asking for his time and attention.

“Inuyasha” Kagome begged, pushing up her tits to bring them closer to his mouth.

Inuyasha grinned devilishly at her attempt and lightly nipped on the bud he was avoiding before finally wrapping his lips around it and gave it a hard suck. She gasped underneath him, her body arching upwards to bring herself closer to him. His tongue swirled around while he sucked simultaneously, the other breast also getting the same treatment when he was satisfied with the one he had worked on first.

Her pussy was actually dripping at this point, and she was growing hungrier by the second. She wanted him in every single way, touching, licking, and fucking her senseless.

“Inuyasha... please.”

He let go of her nipple with a wet “pop!”. “Please, what, Kagome?”

“I need you.”

He went back to flicking the red and swollen nipple he was working on. “Need me to what? “Continue this?” He bit down lightly before licking the swollen bud into his mouth again, and Kagome’s begging turned into pathetic whimpers and deep moans.

“Inside me!” She wailed, “Please I want you inside me!”

Inuyasha kissed her breasts one last time before moving up to kiss Kagome again. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly in her attempt to pull him closer to her body. The feeling of his hands roaming her body causing shivers and goosebumps to appear on her skin. He let go of her lips and backed away from her, his hands already on the waistline of her panties before she could process it.

“Let’s take these off first.”

Slowly he slipped off her soaking panties, they were so wet with her juices that it dripped down his fingers. Tossing them somewhere on the ground, he slowly caressed her legs open to bare herself fully in front of him. Instantly, Kagome grew shy and attempted to close herself away from his lust-filled eyes but she was no match against his strength.

“God, you’re so wet for me baby, so fuckin’ sexy.” He bent down and kissed the inside of her thighs again, her body automatically opening itself up more for him to continue. He lapped her up like a starved man as she pulled onto his hair for leverage. His hands holding her legs down and apart while she jumped and twisted helplessly to his incredible tongue. On occasion, he would go and flick her swollen clit and sucked on it for extra pleasure, all while his girl cried and moaned loudly underneath him. His tongue fucking her sopping hole over and over again while his finger rubbed her clit.

Kagome was seeing white again, her vision blurring as all she could feel was the fire burning in her abdomen knowing her second orgasm was coming up. This time much stronger than the other one, her body going taut with unbelievable pleasure while Inuyasha rubbed her clit and tongue fucked her. She was being held strongly against the bed which added to the stimulation she was experiencing. Her moans were broken and combined with small, sporadic whimpers before going rigid and cumming once again. Her body shook uncontrollably, back arching and eyes rolling back. Inuyasha watched the beautiful moment from between her thighs as her lips formed a perfect ‘O’. He swallowed her orgasm as it came, his tongue following the rhythm of her body as she ground on his face.

Her breathing was heavy, and her chest heaved as her lungs came back for air. She felt amazing and overwhelmed all at once, as she had never felt something so intense before in her life. Inuyasha removed himself from her dripping pussy and sloppily kissed her. She could taste herself from his lips and it turned her on all over again, the kiss both sloppy and passionate and perfect.

Inuyasha felt small arms touching the button and zipper of his pants, and he immediately grabbed them to take them away. He backed away from their heated kiss and looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“Let me do something for you.” Kagome pouted.

“As awesome as it would be to watch you suck my dick, all I wanna do is make you cum tonight with it instead.”

“But Inu-“

He kissed her forehead, “Later. Right now, I just wanna make ya cum.”

Kagome’s pout did not leave her lips, and Inuyasha could not help but chuckle. He placed his thumb on her bottom lip and pulled it down. Slowly, he inserted his thumb into her mouth, “You are so pretty when you pout.”

He gently pushed her back down and removed his pants and underwear, causing his aching cock to finally spring out of its confinement. Kagome’s eyes widened at the sight, her mouth watering at the thought of tasting him.

Shooting up from the bed, she looked at him seductively before grabbing his cock and pumping him slowly. The grunt he released was enough for her to know she was doing alright, even if she had only just started. The head was already glistening with pre-cum and she wanted a taste, poking out her tongue and licking the head of his cock before taking him inside her mouth entirely.

Inuyasha groaned, his hands gently pulling back her hair so he could watch her pretty little mouth be filled up with his cock. The sight alone was enough to make him cum, and he could not allow that to happen yet.

He tapped her cheek before pulling out of her and bringing her back up to his mouth again. He pushed her back onto the mattress while never letting go of her lips, and he grabbed her legs to spread them apart again.

“Sorry princess, but if I let you keep that up I was gonna cum a lot sooner than you think.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Kagome challenged.

She was going to drive him mad. “Give me head after I make you cum three more times.”

“Babe!”

He growled, low and deep while kissing her red lips once again. “Wanna make it four?”

Kagome moaned into the kiss while her pussy throbbed in anticipation at his threat. Her mouth was preoccupied with his lips, turning to buck her hips up to touch his cock. Inuyasha’s dick twitched at the feeling of her warmth and her slick touching him as if beckoning him in.

She laid her head softly onto the bed, her eyes half-lidded and drowning in lust. “Fuck me, please, I want you to fuck me.”

He backed up and fisted his cock to place it over her wet folds and slid up and down to tease himself and her. With her sopping pussy teasing his cock while also providing Kagome some fiction, their breathing began to grow rapidly.

Slowly Inuyasha slid into her empty hole that was begging to be filled by him. He slowly slid inside of her pussy and the couple gasped and groaned at the feeling of finally being connected. She was so hot and wet, and all he wanted to do was to start slamming into her, but he chose to wait until she was used to him being inside.

Kagome felt so full and complete she could cum right now, and she was so aroused that his entry did not sting at all like she thought it would. It had been a long time since the last time she had sex, and none of those times was she ever this wet that it did not burn a little upon entry.

She rolled her hips and moved them up to get closer to him, “Please move, I need you to move!”

At the sound of her begging his body began to thrust into her, and the little sounds he had been waiting to hear from her began to ring in his ears. They were beautiful, like a song, and he wanted to learn the words and memorize them immediately. He spread her legs wider apart to watch where they were connected, the lewd sounds squelching from her pussy every time he moved. It was erotic and Kagome was the sexiest woman he has ever seen in his life.

“Your body was made for me.” Inuyasha praised, “You’re taking me so well.”

All Kagome could do was moan in reply, the feeling of his girthy cock pumping her too delicious for her to attempt to speak.

He watched her round breasts bounce with every thrust and he salivated at the sight of their dance. Bending down and popping a bud into his mouth, he sucked her nipple hard. A throaty moan immediately left Kagome’s lips while she tilted her head back in euphoria.

Letting go of the bud he kissed her again and rolled around the other one with his fingers. He fucked her at a steady pace. He wanted to build her up and get to know the sounds she made as she got closer to her climax. Her breathing was faster, her moans were getting louder, and her body arched a lot more with every hit.

The hand on her breast traveled up her chest and stopped right before her neck and Kagome rang out a broken gasp. He looked into her eyes while his pace increased.

“Is it okay if I wrap my hand around your neck?”

Her brown eyes went wide and her neck flushed a darker shade of pink. “Yes,” she smiled eagerly. “Please choke me.”

He let out a groan, his hips moving even faster as he placed his hand around her neck and squeezed. He made sure he was not blocking her airway or squeezing too hard. Kagome moaned at the sensation, her hips frantically meeting his as she felt herself growing closer.

Releasing her neck so oxygen and the blood flow could return to her safely, Inuyasha decided to grab the underside of her knees and place her legs on each of his shoulders to go even deeper inside of her. His thrusts were rapid and rough, and Kagome’s moans turned into frantic little cries and breathy pleas. He bent down and licked up her neck, sucking on the spot that he knew drove her crazy while a finger rolled a hard nipple.

“Inu-!” She cried. “I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum for me baby.” He growled in her ear. “I’m right here.”

Eyes rolling back as her body shook against him, she moaned breathlessly while riding her third orgasm. Inuyasha stayed inside of her and lazily kissed her neck and breasts, continuing to give her the attention she deserved as he waited for her to come back to him.

“How ya feeling? Good?” He grinned.

“I feel.. incredible. I can't even describe how I feel right now.” She smiled.

“Well, we’re not done yet so get used to that feeling.”

He lifted himself off of her body and slowly pulled out, the feeling causing them both to groan at the loss of each other’s warmth.

“Turn around for me.”

Feeling a little shaky, Kagome rolled on her tummy and lifted herself up. Her arms and knees wobbled from her previous orgasms, causing her to lack balance, so Inuyasha wrapped his arm around her waist to keep her secure. He bent down and kissed her shoulders gently, the softness of his kisses relaxing her instantly. Smiling at her reaction he continued to pepper her back with kisses while holding her against him so she did not fall. As soon as he reached the bottom of her spine he moved back up, his kisses never faltering until he reached her lips. Their mouths melded together perfectly, even at the angle that they were in, and the hand on her tummy began to make its way down to her pelvis.

Kagome gasped from the sudden touches and she shut her eyes tightly in anticipation, and it was so cute that Inuyasha could not help but kiss her cheek. Never taking his eyes off of her he slowly rolled his fingers on her clit and coated the nub in her juices. She moaned, gasping at the attention her clit was receiving while her empty hole clenched over nothing. Once he was satisfied with how much of her juices were dripping down her thighs, he stood up straight and pumped his cock a few times before slowly easing his way back inside of her.

Kagome released a loud, sensual moan at the feeling of being filled once again at the new angle he was fucking her in. In this position, he can hit her deeper, and she was beginning to feel it already. Her arms gave out and she leaned on her elbows for support as she arched her back in pleasure.

He could not get enough of her ass bouncing with every thrust of his hips, it was like he was in a trance, with his hands firmly on her hips in order to fuck her harder and deeper. She was moaning his name in broken pieces, only fucking her harder to make it impossible to say his name. He slapped one of her ass cheeks and she cried out at the hit, only for her to press herself into him so he could do it again. Never slowing his pace, Inuyasha smacked her ass again and again before continuing the ministrations on the neglected cheek. He could spank her all fucking day with how wet she was getting for him.

“You like that huh?” He gripped her ass. “You like it when I spank you?”

“Yes!”

He smacked her ass again, “But only bad girls get spanked, princess.” He smirked.

“But I-“, she gasped. “I love it! So good.”

At the sound of her incoherent speaking, he knew she was close, so he picked up the pace for her. Her cries and whimpers only become deliciously louder with his thrusts. The lewd squelching coming from her sopping pussy driving him closer to cumming, and this time he knew he was not going to be able to hold back.

“Such a good girl.” Inuyasha grunts, “Such a cute little ass.”

Gripping her hips even harder, he keeps her in place in order to get her to do his next order.. “Touch yourself. I wanna feel you cum on my dick.”

Without any hesitation, Kagome’s fingers found her sensitive clit and rolled along to the pace Inuyasha was fucking her at. The tight grip on her hips was almost painful but also amazing, she gripped the sheet with one hand while she flicked her clit with the other. The familiar heat was pooling inside her abdomen, her breathing was quickening and she was chasing the high.

“Inu…yash-“ She whimpered brokenly, “Mmm… please!” Her toes curled and her body was moving out of her control. “Yes yes yes!”

Her body shook violently and Inuyasha quickly wrapped his arm around her waist again and bent down over her back. A loud grunt left his mouth as he felt her pussy suck in his cock during her orgasm. He continued to fuck her during her release until she was done shaking and was more relaxed.

He stayed inside her and chose not to move, allowing her to recover from her orgasm while he accidentally edged himself for the second time in a row.

“Fuck princess, we’re not even done yet.” He finally pulled out of her.

Kagome rolled onto her back and sat up, her hands cupping both sides of his cheeks to bring him down to kiss him slowly and languidly. Their tongues tasting each other as the kiss grew sloppy.

“Please make me cum again.”

As if on queue, Inuyasha’s cock was ready for round three. He laid back on the mattress and against her pillows before patting his thighs excitedly.

“Get on top.”

Shyly, Kagome moved to straddle him and slowly slid down and covered him fully. He rolled his head back and groaned, she fit him so perfectly, and in this position, he practically could feel her even deeper. It was as if she was sucking him in with how tight she was.

He knew his girl was still recovering from her last orgasm, so he did not move or tell her to move, instead, he let her cockwarming him while he kissed her. He wanted her to call the shots this time, and to move when she was ready to start again. His hands were gently holding her face towards him as he kissed her, and in return, her hands were wrapped in his hair to feel closer to him.

During the kiss, Inuyasha could feel her hips beginning to sway in a slow, tantalizing rhythm. It was not strong enough for either of them to fully lose control, but it was not soft enough for either of them to not feel anything. This movement she was making felt like a build-up of a volcano, slowly beginning the process of building pressure before the eruption.

As she gained a faster pace their mouths detached and they separated from each other. Now in her own little world, with her eyes closed and her mouth parted, she was riding him much faster.

“Use my cock baby girl.” Inuyasha praised. “It’s all yours.”

Kagome smiled, the shyness she felt earlier completely melting away with the delicious pressure rising in her tummy. Leaning backward, she placed her hands onto his thighs and gained better leverage and control of her lower body, now moving much deeper over his erect cock. Inuyasha was hypnotized by the swaying of her hips and the way she slid up and down on his dick, the wet, squelching sounds and her moans filling up the room like music.

He licked the pad of his thumb before placing it on her puffy clit and slowly moving it around in circles. Her wet pussy glistening for only him to see, and he continued to watch her in a trance.

“You look so beautiful like this.” He continued to roll the pink nub, “So beautiful while you ride my cock.”

Her moans only got louder after that, and her pussy even wetter from his praise. His finger touching her sensitive clit while she rolled her hips over him made her toes curl and her back arch. And with her breasts out for him, Inuyasha leaned up and put a pert nipple into his mouth and sucked. Causing louder, lewd cries to escape her.

He sucked on her tits and gave each nipple his equal attention, making sure they were ravished and red to his liking. She was growing tired, he could feel her pace slowing, but she was so desperate to cum he knew she would keep going to exhaustion. With one last suck to each nipple and a few more rolls of his thumb on her swollen nub, he gripped her hips and thrust upwards.

The new sensation had Kagome almost screaming, her hand cupping over her mouth to silence her loud moans.

“I wanna hear you,” he growled, “Don’t cover your mouth.”

A little embarrassed, Kagome moved her hands to his shoulders to hold on to him tightly. Her embarrassment turning into pleasure as soon as he started thrusting again, this time at a faster pace, and all she could do was moan and release high-pitched whimpers.

“Yes yes yes yes!” She chanted like a prayer, “Fuck! Yes please, please, please!”

“Fuck!” Inuyasha yelled, the build-up becoming too much for him. The edging he did to himself had done him in, and he was close to finally cumming.

Her tits bounced with every thrust he gave, and her moans only growing higher and higher as he made her reach nirvana.

“Fuuuck I’m gonna cum!” She moaned.

“God, yes, cum all over my dick!”

With a few more thrusts Kagome’s entire body went rigid and she let out a loud gasp. Her body shook and contorted, back arching and mouth open in a silent scream. Her pussy walls were squeezing him so tightly with her orgasm that Inuyasha followed her and came inside. Ropes of cum filling her pussy. He shook underneath her, a moan leaving his lips at the unbelievable pleasure that soared within him.

For a few moments, neither of them spoke while they came down from their highs. Chests heaving back and forth, with shaky legs, and sore thighs they slowly recovered.

Inuyasha pulled Kagome in for a sweet and tender kiss, his fingers brushing away the strands of hair that fell over her face. This kiss was different from all the other kisses they shared tonight because this one was sweet, loving, and filled with the adoration that they felt for each other.

Pulling away, Kagome bit her lip and giggled, suddenly feeling shy.

“How do you feel?” Her boyfriend asked.

She smiled at him, “Sore, but amazing. Incredible? Wonderful? I’m feeling like many things.”

Inuyasha grinned at her, he grabbed her hands that were splayed on his chest and kissed her knuckles. “I’m sorry babe.”

“No! Don’t!” She kissed his forehead, “I knew I was going to be sore after this. But… it was so good. You are amazing.”

He laughed at the compliment and carefully moved her to lie on the bed while still being connected to each other. “Careful Kags, you’re gonna inflate my ego.”

She smacked his chest playfully, “Oh God, we don’t need more of that.”

Holding her tightly to his chest it grew comfortably quiet between them. He paid attention to her breathing, slow and steady, and listened to the beating of her heart. He could live like this for the rest of his life. Sex or no sex, having this woman beside him was something he would never trade for the world. He felt safe next to her, and he could be himself, and he knew she felt the same way.

As sleep was beginning to take them both away, Inuyasha’s ears suddenly stood up tall at the sound of Kagome’s stomach grumbling. She tried to play it off and pretend to be asleep, but he knew her better than she did, so he poked her stomach and got her to laugh.

“You’re hungry. What do you wanna eat?”

She groaned, “I wanna stay next to you. You’re warm. Food can wait.”

“Babe.” He warned.

“Fine.” She pouted. “There’s a frozen pizza in the fridge. We can heat it up in the oven.”

He slid out of her, the both of them suddenly missing the warmth from the connection that they had.

“Stay right here. I’ll go make the pizza, you take a nap until I get back.” He kissed her forehead and covered her in her fluffy white comforter. “After pizza, if you’re up for it, we can take a shower together before we go to sleep.”

“Mmm… I like the sound of that.” Kagome answered sleepily.

Inuyasha chuckled, “I’ll be back with the pizza babe. Go to sleep.” He told her as he walked out of the room.

“Bring me water please!”

As their eventful night ended with full bellies and a warm, comforting shower, the couple realized that they would never give each other up for anything in the world. Thank goodness they were done keeping their relationship a secret because, after tonight, everyone was going to know about how much they mean to each other.

[freemanverse-mu]

Chapter 1 - Part 2

“Greetings, Mr. Freeman. It is good to see you in the flesh, once again.”

Gordon snapped to attention, as if coming out of a daze. All around him was a pitch black void, and he would have assumed his eyes were closed if he hadn’t looked down at himself. Despite there being no light source he could see his hands and body perfectly well, all still in his HEV suit. 

His HEV suit from Black Mesa...

Though his very last memory was of being on that tram as if it were only seconds ago he still felt a strange sense that time had passed. He had no way of knowing if it were true, or how much time it would have been.

His attention was drawn to echoing footsteps approaching him. As the sound faded into reality so too did streaks of light that seemed to indicate this place he was standing in was in motion. 

A familiar pair of glowing teal eyes swayed towards him before it’s owner’s form came into view. It was that pale man in the blue suit. Gordon’s jaw clenched in irritation. 

The pale man began to speak, and as soon as his voice broke the silence the two of them were no longer standing in that darkness but directly above the waves of an open ocean. 

“I must admit these circumstances are rather inopportune for me,” The man said.

There was not a hint of land on the horizon, only the grey-blue of an ocean like Earth’s. Gordon looked at the rolling waves below him. They were just high enough that at their peak it sprayed a light mist onto his boots. 

“I have many other obligations beyond you, you see,” he continued without pause. 

The slight smile on the speaker’s face made it clear he was slyly berating Gordon. The scientist’s own expression twisted into a grimace.

“However, I believe I’ve devised a solution that will solve both of our needs.” 

The man in the suit made a smooth gesture with his hand and faster than Gordon could blink they were both suddenly in a red desert in the dark of night. Overhead a beautiful band of stars lit the sands with a gentle glow. Gordon noticed the stars were instantly recognizable, the band being the Milky Way itself. Were they in fact on Earth?

“It will require a great amount of effort on your part, as well as a great deal of danger. I will provide no other opportunity than this.” The man in the suit folded his hands in front of him casually.

“Are you willing to earn your early retirement?” He smiled in that creepy way that didn’t reach his eyes. 

Gordon Freeman began to sign to his captor but his thoughts came faster than he could move. Though they weren’t audible it was somehow clearly conveyed to both of them.

[Whatever it takes] was what came out. Gordon set his jaw, looking on at the other man with an unwavering glare.

The scene around them began to fade into darkness. The other man raised his clasped hands in a fake gesture of being impressed.

“Whatever it takes? As always you demonstrate your decisiveness. Very well. Here is what I propose:” 

The scenery around them changed to the expanse of space, bright dots of stars all around them, and most notably a massive gas giant taking up most of the view. Dr. Freeman couldn’t help but look at it in awe. 

“Myself and my employers require the aid of specifically Gordon Freeman. Obviously, this is you. However…” another fake smile.

“You are not the ONLY Gordon Freeman.” Now his fingers pointed vaguely upwards to the innumerable stars. “Across time and space exist uncountable versions of yourself.”

This information was only slightly surprising to Gordon. The idea that it was true wasn’t implausible, but imagining what that would be like was difficult. 

“Just as one would ask someone under their employ to prepare and select someone to take over their position upon their retirement, so too am I requesting this.”

The fake smile didn’t shift in the slightest, but something about the tilt of the man’s head and the gleam in his eyes felt entirely sinister. 

Once again Gordon’s conscious thoughts seemed to be projected to both of them.

[ ...You want me to pick someone to take my place here? I won’t do that.] A slight look of horror crept onto the scientist’s face, not liking this proposition at all.

In an instant the beauty around them returned to that original void they had started in.

“That is, of course, your decision to make, Mr. Freeman. However, in the interest of myself and my employers the only reasonable way I could let you go would be to release you from your agreement… without releasing you from your agreement. Hm?”

The bastard’s smug grin infuriated Gordon. Yet he knew any action at this point would be futile. 

“You may be firm in your demand to be allowed to leave, but I am equally firm that this is the only situation in which that is possible.”

The tone in the thin man’s voice made it clear he was very serious about this. Gordon knew he didn’t have leverage in this negotiation, but his mind raced to find something, anything, he could say or do to avoid bringing others into this mess. His mess. 

Because this entity seemed to have complete power over his freedom he feared any hasty arguments would change his mind, leaving Gordon no options at all. 

The pale man in the suit raised his chin, holding up an authoritative finger for emphasis to his next statement.

“Here is what I require, and what you will need to look for in your replacement:”

“ Humility.  Focus.  Dignity.  Integrity.  Initiative.  Freedom.  Humanity.  Patience.  Ingenuity.  Impartiality.  Selflessness.  Independence. ”

Gordon narrowed his eyes as he watched the pale man bend down to pick up a briefcase next to his feet that hadn’t been there a moment before. 

Part of him wanted to completely ignore everything he’d just been told, but another part of him had already made a mental note of it and he felt shame creeping into his heart. 

The other man stood upright and carefully smoothed out the minor creases that had appeared on his suit. 

“I realize this is quite an extensive list, but now you see why you are not such an easy person to replace….hm?” He looked straight into Gordon’s eyes with an imperious expression. 

“Gordon Freeman cannot be lacking in any one of these variables.”

In that moment the smile left the speaker’s face, and Gordon felt his uncertainty grow.

This was wrong. There was no way he could doom someone to the fate he himself had already agreed to.

And yet…

His mind replayed the terrible events of Black Mesa. His coworkers, his friends, dead. Crushed by the very complex itself as it fell around them. Mutilated by creatures that sank their teeth into their flesh and took over their bodies. Mowed down by their own kind they had relied on to save them. Or by invaders who had given them no chance to surrender. 

And then… that massive creature that had been behind it all. Gordon had been able to kill it, but before he was able to return to the Lambda Complex to help the rest of the employees and families of Black Mesa escape, he had been brought here. By this man. This creature.

Anger washed over him. He needed to go back. People needed his help. And this asshole had forced him into servitude. For what? For who? Gordon didn’t fucking care. There were more important things that he needed to take care of. 

A doorway of white light appeared behind the man in the suit. He moved to the side and gestured with a hand indicating for Gordon to follow.

“Now, if you will step this way, Mr. Freeman. We can begin this trial.”

There must be a way out of this. He was certain this man was serious about this being the only chance he was offering to escape. Gordon could refuse… The man had indicated the option of remaining here was his own prerogative. 

Yet… there was a chance. 

There was a chance he could escape. And there was a chance he could avoid sealing another person’s fate. Another… Gordon Freeman’s fate. He wouldn’t know unless he took this chance.

And at the very back of his mind, the rational side of him that considered things faster than his heart did, a thought arose. If this man and his “employers” felt he could handle whatever job awaited him, then wouldn’t another Gordon Freeman also be able to handle it? 

He shut his eyes tight for a moment, making sure not to show a pained expression as he mentally stomped that thought down. Another Gordon Freeman would surely have people he loved and cared for just as he did. It wasn’t an option. It was not an option. 

Gordon shook away all hesitation left in him and stepped forward, past the man in the suit and into the door of light. 

He could see the man smiling out of the corner of his eye as he passed him. 

And then the door to the void of darkness shut behind him and he was left in a void of light. 

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

How would describe shameless to someone who never heard of it? How would you describe the specific characters?

I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve these super fun asks, but thank you so much! :D It’s funny that you sent this because I did actually describe the show to someone not too long ago, and I didn’t like how I did it in hindsight. I felt like I didn’t do it enough justice. So, I get a second chance to try again!

“How would you describe Shameless to someone who never heard of it?”

Shameless is a show about how life doesn’t always go our way, we don’t always do the right thing, and we’re all imperfect beings—but we still deserve a chance regardless. The Gallaghers begin the series nearly at rock bottom, doing anything they have to for their literal survival, but also to keep their family together. Sometimes that means supporting each other when they’re in a difficult spot, banding together to help their neglectful father even though he doesn’t deserve it, or even committing petty crimes to sustain their meager way of life. As they get older and have more agency in and control over their lives, the nature of their problems shifts, and they learn from their own mistakes rather than reacting to their parents’. The same trends unfold for the people and families in their orbit, showing that various trials and tribulations can impact anyone of any social standing. Not everyone gets a happy ending; not everyone gets what they want. However, they grow and learn how to manage both the hand that they’ve been dealt as well as the bed they’ve made for themselves. That, after all, is life.

Shameless is a “dramedy” where the comedy elements utilize primarily satire, which sets it apart from the popularity of slapstick and dry comedies over the last decade. By nature, the show therefore addresses difficult, uncomfortable, and controversial topics in manners and utilizing methods that are designed to make us laugh at the absurdity while forcing us to think about these topics in ways that we may have avoided otherwise. This format has been established since the pilot episode and certainly is not to everyone’s taste. I wouldn’t recommend this show to anyone who prefers that such issues be addressed with a deeper analysis on the part of the characters rather than the audience, which is the general tendency in drama pieces rather than shows of this genre.

“How would you describe the specific characters?”

For this, I’ll focus on the main Gallagher family, Kev, V, and Mickey, as they’ve been the constant presences on the show since the start. I’ll also keep it relatively short since I could write essays on each one, and that would bore anyone who hasn’t heard of Shameless (and 95% of those who have) to tears.

1.      Frank Gallagher is the stereotypical “deadbeat” who plays the system for every penny so that he doesn’t have to work, choosing to fund his addictions rather than support his family. He will go to any lengths if it means preserving this lifestyle—mild, absurd, and even heinous. He functions as something of an anti-hero, being more a threat to the family’s stability in early seasons than a boon and gradually sinking into obscurity because of his children’s growing indifference as he burns one bridge after another with them. Frank prides himself on espousing only the values that will get him what he wants in a given circumstance. In specific instances, that has meant showing a measure of love and affection for his children that evidence has proven exists deep, deep below the surface. In others, he’s a wild card. Frank’s various fatal flaws have included arrogance, addiction, selfishness, and an avoidance of any and all responsibility.

2.      Fiona Gallagher is the eldest and began the series as the rock of the family because, to put it simply, she was the only person able to do it. She selflessly cared for her younger siblings so that they wouldn’t be scattered into foster homes or adoption thanks to her parents’ neglect, even to the point where she gave up portions of her life and blurred the lines between her roles as sister versus caregiver, which became a sticking point in later seasons when her siblings didn’t need or want a mother-figure anymore. While Fiona was initially very responsible with regards to raising her siblings, she therefore sacrificed a lot of opportunities that were important for her development as a young adult and exhibited an immaturity typical of people her age that impacted other arenas of her life, especially relationships. As her role as caregiver dwindled, that immaturity and the norms prevalent in her environment became more pronounced with her newfound freedom, and she struggled greatly in the face of what she viewed as making up for lost time. Fiona’s various fatal flaws have included ambition, a “martyr complex,” and viewing her family as an impediment to her ambitions later in life instead of a support system.

3.      Lip Gallagher is the oldest son. He began the series with a hefty chip on his shoulder. Intelligent, quick-witted, and calculating, Lip was constantly referred to as a sort of diamond in the rough and clearly came to believe it. This led to a very fascinating dynamic within the family and his other interpersonal relationships as his love for and desire to protect his family was balanced by a sense that his way was the best way—the only way, really. A combination of poor choices and unfortunate circumstances beyond his control resulted in a very real “fall from grace,” by South Side standards, and Lip has worked hard to claw his way back from where he was in the middle of the series. Where Fiona spiraled further as she withdrew from her family, Lip leaned on them and others in his support system—and it saved him. Lip’s various fatal flaws have included arrogance, contempt for power structures in which he is not at the top, and trying to solve other people’s problems at the expense of dealing with his own.

4.      Ian Gallagher is the middle child and something of an outlier in his own right where his family is concerned. He began the series seeming to have his shit together: he balanced school, ROTC, and work, excelling in all three at just fifteen years old. He was plagued by his status in the family at times, not old enough to have more control over his situation while not young enough to shrug off a lot of it on Fiona and Lip, and wanted something for himself more than anything. It’s that combination that put him in an extremely vulnerable position, because while he was the picture of responsibility and didn’t orchestrate as many scams as his siblings (though he was involved in plenty—he is South Side and a Gallagher, after all), it gave him—and his family—the false impression that he was more mature and in control than he was. Multiple older men preyed on him because of that, and in his thirst to find something that was solely his and someone he could care for outside his household, he viewed them as relationships rather than abuse. Like Lip, Ian truly hit rock bottom in a different manner, although the causes of his descent were more heavily skewed beyond his control. In true Ian form, however, he remains driven to find the straight and narrow—and stick to it as much as he can. Ian’s various fatal flaws have included ambition, a “hero complex,” compartmentalizing to the point of narrowmindedness or naïveté, and ignoring his own needs in pursuit of fulfilling others’.

5.      Debbie Gallagher is similar to Lip in that she has always been clever, cunning, and driven to get what she wants. Debbie began the series in a difficult position, going to school and contributing to the household while ultimately not in control of anything that was going on. From the start, all she wanted was a functional family, and it colored her behavior throughout the first six seasons of the show. In many cases, that meant doing whatever she could to hold everyone together: investigating Fiona’s lying boyfriend, running a daycare so that Fiona could work all night and still find time to sleep, prompting Fiona to more actively worry when Ian ran away and helping Lip locate him, and caring for Liam a lot of the time while he was a baby. Over the years, as the dysfunctions racked up, she sought an escape through boyfriends and a baby of her own. The means by which she attempted and ultimately failed to achieve these goals were at times reprehensible and spurred on by both her immature ignorance and the culture in which she was raised. Debbie’s various fatal flaws have included self-centeredness, envy, manipulative tendencies, and not thinking or caring about the implications and consequences of her actions for herself or the people involved.

6.      Carl Gallagher began the series as a real mess. The word “sociopath” comes to mind. He was the stereotypical “wild child” whose behavior embodied the dysfunctional nature of the family and their environment. He destroyed toys for fun, tortured animals, physically bullied children at school, and was held back multiple times for poor academic performance. Carl was never as academically bright as the other Gallagher siblings, but his street smarts were nigh unparalleled and, like Lip, he could probably survive anywhere. Over time, Carl underwent a remarkable transformation: embracing the negative stereotypes of his environment, he dove towards rock bottom with gusto only to realize that the thug life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Once again, he paralleled Lip and Ian’s trajectory in leaning on his family when it became too much, and he’s turned his entire life in the opposite direction to pursue a path that he hopes will lead to helping people rather than hurting them for his own gain or reputation. Carl’s various fatal flaws have included lack of foresight, a penchant for violence, and ignorance.

7.      Liam Gallagher is still very young and therefore tougher to fully characterize as his development isn’t as extensive. Right now, he’s the same age Debbie was when the show began, and we’ve seen just how far she’s come. So, for the time being, Liam is extremely bright and has grown up with a great deal more privilege than his siblings. He doesn’t remember saving for the squirrel fund with fears of not being able to eat all winter in mind. He doesn’t remember what it’s like to worry about Frank or Monica’s actions having an enormous and lasting impact on them. He doesn’t remember Lip dropping out of school and moving out of the house, Monica’s actions at Thanksgiving, Fiona crying over crumpled bills from working at the sport bar, Ian going missing for four months and coming home a different person, or Debbie lying about Patrick just so they could keep a roof over their heads. Liam didn’t grow up with those things, and so he has the luxury of being a kid a bit more of the time. However, because his parents aren’t around and Fiona left the house a long time ago despite being his guardian, he has matured quickly in lieu of any real supervision.

8.      Kevin Ball and Veronica Fisher have been the Gallaghers’ closest allies in the neighborhood all this time. Kevin isn’t the brightest academically or in terms of common sense, but he has a good heart and makes the best decisions when he uses it. He has been through a lot, between foster care as a kid, a crazy ex-wife, trying to keep the Alibi afloat, and raising twin daughters that they definitely didn’t have the means for when they discovered that they were expecting two kids. And Veronica… Well, she’s quite literally his other half. She’s savvy and smart, intelligent and assertive—they complete each other. They began the series as an established couple experiencing some growing pains, especially when Veronica was giving the Gallaghers everything from use of their shower to their toaster while Kevin insisted that they needed to focus on themselves before they could help Frank’s kids. (He talked a good game, but when the chips are down, Kevin has always been there for them too.) They’re good people who’ve been given a few bad shakes and taken a few wrong turns, but their love for each other, their kids, and the Gallaghers has made them a surprisingly strong heart of the show. Kevin’s various fatal flaws have included lack of foresight, ignorance, and not standing up for himself. Veronica’s various fatal flaws have included avoiding communication about her feelings and indecisiveness.

9.      Mickey Milkovich is the stereotypical personification of their environment. He began the series as a poor thug—and a dirty one, at that—who exuded such a presence in the neighborhood that he instilled fear at a mere glance. His family functioned as a foil to the Gallaghers, perhaps what they would have been if Frank had been a different person or they’d fallen even further. Mickey didn’t benefit from an emotionally supportive family that banded together to provide for more than merely monetary concerns, not to mention that his father was openly and violently homophobic, so it took a great deal of time and overcoming numerous internal and external hardships for him to come to terms with who he is on many levels. Over the years, Mickey was self-employed or acted with his family as a drug dealer, a pimp, and a prison hitman; worked for a drug cartel; and has engaged in any number of other scams and illegal activities in order to make ends meet—and he has been quite happy to keep doing so as it plays to his strengths. Mickey is remarkable, however, because he has always been a multifaceted character whose problematic decisions, abrasive mannerisms, and questionable lifestyle didn’t and don’t negate that he cares very deeply and will do literally anything for the few people he allows to get close to him, specifically Ian. Mickey’s various fatal flaws have included lack of foresight, avoiding communication about his feelings, and not reaching out for help when he needs it.

~*~

That was quite a bit longer than I initially intended, but I had a great time putting this together. Thank you again for the ask! 

[bring-it-all-down]

I’d like to talk a little bit about why I think Black Sails, while definitely tragic, is NOT a tragedy. Rather, I think that Black Sails ultimately is more hopeful than tragic.

The literary conception of tragedy is divided into two types, Greek and Shakespearean. I’m in no way an expert on tragedy, but broadly speaking, in Greek tragedy, the plot must have unity (it must have a clear beginning, middle, and end) in order for the audience to reach some sort of emotional catharsis. Most importantly, though, the plot must be driven by a character’s pointless struggle to avoid their fate brought on by their hubris (an attempt to become like a god), which has been predetermined (largely from prophesies) and from which they cannot escape. For instance, everything Oedipus attempts to do to escape his fate of killing his father and marrying his mother only draws him closer to that fate. 

Shakespearean tragedy, on the other hand, has a less clear beginning and plot, including many subplots that take place over a much longer period of time: it lacks the Greek elements of unity of plot, time, and place. Furthermore, the struggle is driven not by divine prophecy but by a character’s struggle between good and evil; the character is doomed not by an external power but by an internal failing. Thus, while the tragic hero in Greek plays gains full knowledge of the situation by the end, the Shakespearean tragic hero rarely gains self-knowledge. In essence, Greek tragedy is more plot-focused and Shakespearean tragedy is more character-focused.

Although Black Sails has a predetermined end thanks to both Treasure Island and the historical context of piracy, if it was to be a tragedy, it would be a Shakespearean tragedy, not a Greek tragedy. The plot is complex, focusing on a number of characters, and is driven largely by the characters’ internal struggles. However, the show differs in several key ways that ultimately prevent it from being a full tragedy.

Most importantly, Black Sails lacks a real tragic hero, who in Shakespearean tragedy is somebody well-regarded––often a member of the nobility––who is fundamentally a good person, but whose fatal flaw leads to his downfall and the downfall of society at large. As Tom McAlindon puts it in his article, “What is Shakespearean Tragedy?”:

The hero’s fall involves a self-betrayal or loss of identity which constitutes the breakdown in the balance of a richly-endowed nature, one in which feeling is so powerful that it is never far from the point of destructive excess...loosely speaking, then, anger and ambition (including pride, a sense of honor, and the desire for glory), and, on the other hand, love and grief, are the passions whose overflow brings disaster; and it should be stressed that the first pair are to be seen in as positive a light as the second (9-10).

This tragic hero frequently wants to do good, but is blind to the truth of reality, and his initial errors in judgment due to this blindness compound over time, leading to his destruction. Throughout this decline, the ‘hero’ status is maintained through a constant reminder of the environment in which the tragic hero exists; Othello’s paranoia, for instance, is in part a product of the racism in Venetian society. Furthermore, the tragic hero is always juxtaposed by a manipulative figure who knowingly attempts to rouse the hero’s passions for his own gain.

In Black Sails, the person who most closely matches this description is Flint, a high-ranking pirate who commands the respect of his inferiors. Flint certainly is driven by some continuously shifting combination of ambition, love, and grief. His entire project is one dedicated to honoring Thomas’s memory, but it’s also very true that Flint enjoys being in power. He relishes the opportunity to take back command of the Walrus from Dufresne, and as much as he sees his crew as men rather than animals, he absolutely believes himself superior to them. His penchant for murdering those who stand in his way is constantly justified to us through reminders that civilization is even more violent and less discriminating in its use of violence. Furthermore, he is manipulated at times by Silver (though the extent of each other’s knowledge of this is questionable).

This brings us to the question of Flint’s fatal flaw. Unlike with Shakespearean tragic heroes (Romeo’s impulsiveness, Hamlet’s indecision, Macbeth’s ambition), it’s hard to pinpoint a singular flaw for Flint. To be sure, the guy has many flaws: his arrogance, his reticence to trust people, his anger, etc. But it’s difficult to pick out a singular flaw that leads to his demise. In fact, it’s perhaps his abandonment of these flaws that results in his death (“Flint” died, regardless of how you interpret the ending). He trusts Silver, he humbles himself enough to believe himself unworthy of overseeing a post-revolutionary world alongside Madi and Silver, and it’s his love in place of anger that makes it impossible for him to kill Silver. So, ultimately, his fatal flaw is trusting Silver too much, but this is not a flaw that is inherent to him, that he had even from their first meeting. 

A second way in which Black Sails differs from Shakespearean tragedy also concerns the ending. In Shakespearean tragedies, the reciprocal relationship between the disordered tragic hero and the disordered society in which he exists comes to and end with the hero’s demise, and a new orderly society springs up in its place. In Macbeth, Malcolm becomes king, ushering in an era of benevolence; in Othello, Iago receives a fitting punishment, thereby restoring some sense of justice; etc. In essence, the tragic hero’s death results in the end of conflict and the beginning of peace.

In one sense, Black Sails follows this plot. The end of Flint brings about the end of war and the beginning of peace in Nassau under Max’s rule. However, we know that this peace is deeply unsatisfactory because we have come to learn that compromising with civilization is actually impossible. We learn that while the Maroons have a peace treaty, it does not extend to any other freed Black person, and it includes the Maroons re-enslaving people who come to them for freedom. We know through historical context that Jack and Anne only have a few more years of freedom before they’re captured and Jack is hanged. We know that Silver spends the rest of his life haunted by what he did to Flint. And so Flint’s death brings about no actual peace.

The key element that prevents Black Sails from being a Shakespearean tragedy, despite it fitting most of the typical components of a Shakespearean tragedy, is the idea that the central conflict––freedom vs. civilization––extends beyond the show. And so we are aware that no character’s actions will actually affect the conflict in a monumental way. Even though there is the idea that it could have ended differently, we know from the beginning, with our historical knowledge, that the revolution is doomed. The central conflict of the show is an ongoing conflict; there is no possibility of reconciliation as with the Montagues and the Capulets. While all Shakespearean tragedies begin in medias res, they have a definite conclusion, but Black Sails does not.

So, Black Sails is not a Shakespearean tragedy, but on its surface, it looks like it’s incredibly tragic. However, I think that, for all of the reasons I just talked about, Black Sails is actually a show about hope. Flint’s arc demonstrates to us that people can change, that hope can be found in a mutual recognition of suffering and a desire to end that suffering not just for yourself but for others. We learn from Max that nothing is worth doing unless it begins and ends with love. We find a deep sense of familiarity in these characters through the recognition that their battles are our battles, that their flaws are our flaws, but their failure does not have to be our failure. 

Unlike with Macbeth or Othello or Romeo and Juliet, the Black Sails story is still being written and so long as that is the case, there is room for hope.

[nell0-0]

One day (you learn to let go) #3

Idea adopted from Firehedgehog’s Idea Factory!

A very long time ago, Fate grabbed a Sans and twisted him into Error.

Every 25-100 years, Fate’s magic wanes and Error transforms back into his past self. The only thing this Sans knows is that he seems to be skipping through time.

Ink, meanwhile, is the only one that knows what’s going on as Error doesn’t remember when his true self, Geno, wakes up.

A slash of red over the white

He felt like he was floating, just drifting in a seamless white void. How much time had passed, he did not know, but neither did he care.

His body felt heavy, too warm and cozy to even lift a finger, never mind his tired and heavy eye-sockets.Besides, even if he woke up, what would await for him?

It had been so long... But it was always the same. It was just himself by his lonesome, only his thoughts and musings to keep him company. And even then, he couldn't help but feel betrayed by his own mind.

Who was he? Why was he here? Why him?

Just... Why?

The probability of ever getting an answer seemed farther and farther as time passed, but he had nothing else to do but wonder, question, imagine.

Such was the burden of lonely existences like his. It had always been like that, too, had it not? Well, maybe not at the beginning. Maybe he had had friends, a warm home, a loving family... Maybe, just maybe, he had had the opportunity of sharing bad laughs, eating bad food. Living.

He wanted to live again.

But alas, he knew it wasn't for him. It hadn't been for a long time, it wouldn't be now either. How could he be so sure if he didn't even remember his own name? He just had a feeling.

Maybe his mind betrayed him – was he so far gone before that that fact didn't elicit any reaction, any surprise at all from him? – but his very core, his torn up soul, it remembered... somewhat.

It wasn't like the mind. The body.Those were material, temporary. Dust they were and dust they would become. The soul was what mattered for monsters. And his was just glad that this was a never ending white, not black, for whatever reason. The loneliness, the suffering... it felt familiar, like the embrace of a long lost friend. Like the hug of a mother to her new born son.

Or something like that. How would he know? He didn't even know who he was. Who he had been.

Alone. Always alone. That word resounded with him in a way no other word he had thought up did. He was alone, as he had spent oh so much time before. But this felt different.

It was too quiet, too warm, too nice.It felt like the calm before the storm, the last seconds of life before the guillotine went down, before his being just ceased to exist. Before he cracked and became dust. Was this the afterlife? He felt cheated. Like he should have met someone on the way in if he ever died.

Who, though? There was nothing butDeath when you died. It was a ridiculous notion.

Drifting, his muddled mind identified what bothered him on this scenario the most. It wasn't the pain on his chest, the liquid dropping from his mouth, or even the ache on his skull around his right eye-socket. Neither was the static on the background, even if he wondered why hadn't it given him a headache.Was he so used to the sound by now that it didn't bother him?

Just how much time he had passed inhere.

He was rambling on his own thoughts.Focus, he told himself, his bone brow furrowing before his expression smoothed out again.

(Don't let them see you're aware. They're always looking. Always? Always.)

What bothered him the most, was the white. Why should he fear the white, when it was the complete opposite of what gave him such dread? It wasn't the darkest of darks, where everything blurred together until you couldn't tell up from down, left from right. Where nothing existed, but at the same time, there he was.

That ominous and hated color that was, at the same time, cherished in some distant part of his soul.

He didn't understand.

The black meant pain, loneliness, madness. A madness that slowly overtook his mind, little by little, chipping away at his mind.

(Why was it so hated when the white did the same thing? Because of the consequences, determination, our fault. Fault of what? What did we do? We didn't succeed. But what was it? ...)

Black also meant freedom, the wings to fly free and away from all these hardships that tormented him daily.Solace. Security. Home.

Love.

Was it the black, the color? Was he just associating things, people, places... to a color, just so it wouldn't ran away from him like the rest of his thoughts and memories did?

Black. All black. A flash of white and sometimes blue. It kept him going, trying to stay determined, to keep existing when thoughts of giving up assaulted him. Of completely letting goof what made him and his mind, his memories, his soul. Surrendering to the white.

Maybe there was someone waiting for him to wake up.

The fuffliness around him was warm, cozy. It kept him sleeping.

He couldn't breath.

He longed for the black, the comfort it would bring. To be able to be near the black again, just once more. He's sure the black would love that, and even he didn't know if the black was a place, a thing, or a person.

_____________________

Once again, he noticed the smoldering white all around him. Was it better to not feel at all like he had been previously or keep being suffocated in this place, he wondered. Awareness seemed like a curse now that he noticed the lack of it previously.

That felt familiar, somehow.

He was at a loss. Was there a particular reason for this to happen or was he just that fucked up. How did he even end up here and why. How could he have avoided it if that was even possible. Questions tormented his mind, for that was the only thing he had left at the moment.

He didn't dare move, open his eyes, anything, just in case the eyes were back to watch his every move. The eyes felt powerful and a feeling of despair filled him just at the thought. The eyes, multiple ones, belonged to someone. Who that someone was, now that was the million dollar question.

But even if he didn't know who they belonged to, he could feel the intent behind them. The intent to hurt, to bury him so deep he wouldn't be able to surface again.

He didn't need his eyes to see, his ear canals to hear. His consciousness still felt everything around him, as if in an out of body experience.

While he slept, he noticed the stares, the glares. Now that he had been made aware of them he couldn't help it. It was maddening. He couldn't feel them at the moment, but should he risk it?

Not even a twitch, not even the slightest movement that could out him as conscious of his surroundings. Nothing. Just remain white, blank... Like this place.

While wondering, debating with himself if movement was worth it, he noticed the increase in pressure, the wild static and the stares returning to watch him again.

Never mind then.

_____________________

It was not the only time he noticed the pressure leave, that uncomfortable feeling that filled him with dread and an unfathomable rage. He didn't know he was capable of such intensity in feelings after forcing himself to remain blank for so long, but oh well.

It was not like he could remember much of anything.

He didn't breath, he didn't move. He just... kind of existed on this limbo.

He gave up on searching for answers around him, focusing all his efforts on himself. His soul. Or rather, fragment of a soul.

And hadn't that been a shock when he found out? At first, he thought his name was Sans. And while that seemed correct to him, it also sounded... lacking.

He had the hypothesis of this being named Sans being his original self, back when his (or should he say theirs? Definitely theirs) soul wasn't broken apart, a whole monster. But what was his name now, if not Sans.

Geno. Geno was his name, short for Genocide. How... morbid. But fitting, in a sense. He very much doubted it was because he killed an entire race, but it could be. He definitely had the rage inside himself, that very same feeling that caught him off guard, to pull trough with that.

Was he the one to do genocide, the one who planned it, or the one who survived it? And there was the question again, that crucial one, that part of himself that asked if he had even survived at all.

(Geno. Genocide. Aftertale Sans. We need to remember, even if it hurts. Will it hurt? Oh, definitely. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Remember. Remember! R E M E M B E R!)

His finger twitched and he tensed, before forcing himself to relax.

Blank, he reminded himself. He had to remain blank.

_____________________

It felt great to finally have a name just for himself. He repeated it over and over, just so he wouldn't forget it again.

Geno. Geno. Geno!

He didn't want to forget who he was once again. He wouldn't forget his name again. He wouldn't!

He refused.

G E N O.

And with that, he went under once again.

_____________________

How much time had passed between the last flash of clarity he had had? It felt like an eternity. Days? Weeks? Months?

...Years?

He didn't notice the eyes. The stares, the glares. There was nothing around him. He didn't know how much time had passed, but he was glad he had yet another break. They didn't feel like enough, but then again, he used to use every excuse he had to take more and more breaks. Of that he was certain, even if he didn't know how he remembered. It seemed both right and wrong.

Probably something he had done way back when he was still just Sans, then.

Was his other self missing him? Did the rest of the soul of that being named Sans notice something amiss? Maybe Geno had just slipped away, on an endless limbo.

Geno knew he needed to stop thinking about maybes or what ifs, else he goes mad... or rather, madder. He was pretty sure having a dialogue this complex with yourself was a sign for insanity.

Still, this break had been longer than some in the past. He was grateful.

There were always the weird minute, mere seconds, when he felt free. Like he could feel, think, fucking breath-

But every time he felt the hope gathering in his soul fragment, the possibility of getting out of this weird place... The warmth, the smothering heat, hated and despised with everything he had, always came back to envelop itself around Geno.

He noticed his hope break over and over again. Being stomped on, shattered, broken apart. Still, he couldn't help himself from hoping once more. Geno just needed the perfect moment to break free, a break long enough for him to wake up.

WAKE UP AND REMEMBER.

_____________________

Lately, the breaks weren't all that nice. He was still grateful he had them at all, but he felt restless, stressed.

On these breaks, bits and pieces of a life full of sorrow and guilt tormented him. The images were usually blurry, too fast to process anything, but the feelings of them stayed behind. The feelings were almost always the same, too. They weren't really nice, if he was being honest with himself.

But even so, it was fulfilling in a way. There was always the nice warmth of a special someone. Of family, friends. Good times in general. Even the care and love of a lover...?

He had a happy ending, he knew that much. So how did he end up on the white?

Tiredness. Numbness. The flash of a knife. Pain. Pain unlike any he had ever felt before, like he was about to keel over and die, his body becoming dust and becoming one with the wind. Scattered gray particles of something that used to be a person. A person with hopes, dreams.

“So... I guess that's it, huh? Just.... Don't say I didn't warn you.”

The feeling of his limbs falling apart, failing him. Dust to dust as some would say. Hot liquid poured from his chest, his mouth. The burning on his hands as he tried to stop the flow of that precious red liquid that was supposed to be kept inside himself. Resignation. This wasn't the first time this had happened, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

(Not the first time...? No, definitely not. Oh.)

There had been nothing he could have done differently. He was doomed to loose from the beginning, even if he won the battle. He knew that. Sans would always be trapped on this endless cycle of dying, being brought to life to see everyone he knew and loved back being killed mercilessly and then die again.

It would always be like that.

But it didn't stay that way. For Sans, maybe. But definitely not for Geno.

There had been something different, something that created Geno as he was before the white. A syringe full of determination before the fight.

A black void. Feeling incomplete.

To be expected, since he was just a fragment of a soul. He was supposed to belong into Sans' soul, they both were missing a part of themselves, even if Geno's was more noticeable since his whole soul, the culmination of his very being, was just a tenth of a soul.

“I'm tired of all this fighting... Aren't you?”

He had met Sans again. Or what was left of Sans, after Geno became his own person. They were very similar, almost a mirror image of the other.

But he knew, he was way too different now to ever go back to being just one and the same with his other self.

“Feels like I'm looking straight into a mirror.”

His other self, the one who had the main part of their soul... The better part, The part that could feel compassion, love, happiness. The one who longed for peace, the easygoing one.

His other self was soft, kind.

Sans was a fool.

But the question was, was Geno a fool as well?

“You remember when I killed everyone, Sans?!”

He didn't know. All he did was to avoid more suffering, more pain. To avoid at all costs another genocide to the hands of that damned brat. For everyone. For Papyrus.

“Hahaha! You must really hate your friends!”

Oh how much he loathed- no, hated, Chara.

But even with all this new knowledge of his life he had acquired, there was still something missing. It felt like there was something else very important and dear to him. Or rather, a someone.

That's right. The black.

“I die, when I say I die.”

Heh, right. Geno was one determined asshole. He still had to kick that good for nothing mightier than thou skelegod's ass. He wasn't finished yet, no matter how much the white suffocated him, made him stay blank and his essence fade.

It was not his time yet.

“You did it. I know you did. You spiked the punch!”

Geno refused.

“Hey there. Still having a terrible time?”

The black. He... He was important, crucial to all this mess. Geno just knew it. How, though?

That lazy figure, menacing on his posture but there was only gentleness to be found on his eyelights. The soft touch of a caring being, wonder like no other towards the very own Geno. Soft kisses shared on the little patch of grass, away from everything.

The pain, the lonliness, the madness. The black made him able to stay how he was.

Missed chances, small moments and gestures that meant the world to him. Shared nights under a beautiful sky full of stars, their passion and love shared between each other in a bond of souls. Oh, how he loved that idiot.

Black meant home. He meant family.

“Shut up, I've given up Papyrus' scarf for that kid!”

But that family wasn't just reduced to the two of them. Leaving the mess of an AU Aftertale was aside, not including neither Papyrus nor Gaster, Geno's family grew.

Where there was once two, then there were three. And more would come with time. At first, it was like a miracle. For how could Death and an eternally dying being create new life?

But it happened.

“Gothy, dear, not right now. It's three am.”

Oh, how much Geno adored his little one. So, so similar to himself on appearance and clothing, yet so undeniably the black's (Death's?) kid on everything else.

That seemingly impossible life that defied everything, that pulled through even after having everything stacked against his existence. And more would come after him.

Goth. Raven. Sorell. Shiro. Geha. Gina. Momo. Reo. Nomi. Karmic. Levi. Silver. Beyond...

Wow, that was a lot of children. What were they trying to create, an army of godlings of Death?

“My dear Genocide, why were you crying?”

Was he crying? Maybe on the inside, as he made sure his expression hadn't changed. Still as blank as ever on the outside.

How unsettling.

How would he even explain that to Death? If the black was even named that. It felt correct, but the longer he thought about it, the more he was certain there was another name he should call him.

A name that wouldn't make his love show that resignation, that deep sadness that always seemed to follow him at the beginning. The hatred of what he was, what he represented. The job imposed on him that he hated.

What was the name? He... Geno needed to know. He needed to-

“In desperation, I hoped that once I killed the kid... that I might have enough determination to surpass theirs...”

No, go back. GO BACK! He needed to know, he didn't want to let go. This was the beginning of the end, he just knew it. He wanted to go back, he didn't want this ending at all if it meant he had to give up the rest. The black, Death, he-

Reaper!

“I gotta believe things will work out for us this time, you know?”

Papyrus was alive, alive and well. He was glad. Still, that may have been his Papyrus, his very own brother-

But he had more family to worry about. Little ones that depended on him. Babybones, even.

Reaper, stop this. Stop it. STOP ME!

“To reset timelines. To change outcomes? Sounds more like a curse than a blessing.”

No, he didn't want this anymore. He wanted to go back.

Back to that huge house, Death's Manor, the one he shared with his husband the times he decided to go outside Aftertale. The little garden he cared for on the backyard, where he would get mad at Raven and Goth for playing on it and ruining it. The little pond of water where Shino liked to sit and hum, playing with his feet splashing water everywhere. The random spots he would find Nomi on, sleeping away the day and night with a smile on his face. Momo modeling her latest outfit in front of Reo and baby Karmic. Levi and Silver pulling pranks on Beyond and causing a huge mess.

The quiet kitchen where he liked to cook for the little ones. The sofa he would laze on with Reaper on the unusual free day.

"I'm just so... tired..."

REAPER, PLEASE-

So tired indeed.

_____________________

Geno opened his eyes. They felt heavy and he couldn't really focus on anything at the moment. Struggling, he noticed white around him.

Was all that he had been dreaming a reality? Surely, it couldn't be.

With a groan of pain, he sat up and rubbed his skull. Just what had happened to him to ache all over. If this was Reaper's fault again, that skelegod was in for the bad time of his life.

Blinking, he looked at his hands until he could properly see them. They were the usual, dull white, a gray tinge to them that betrayed his sickly state that would accompany him forever. A small price to keep living even after being exposed to Death magic everyday, he supposed.

He didn't know why he had expected something different instead, but no need to worry about that now. He needed to figure out how to exit this place that seemed as endless as the Void looming over him on the Save Screen.

Why was it white and not black if it was a Void, though? Was this some kind of weird inverted Void or something? An Anti-Void?

...that was catchy. Yeah, Anti-Void. He would use that.

All this white around him made him uneasy. Looking up, he finally noticed some color. Instead of the 'continue' and 'reset' buttons he was almost half expecting, there were blue strings that seemingly hanged from nowhere in particular. They were just... there.

And wait, were those souls?! And dolls?!

"Yeah, nope. So much nope. I'm not dealing with that right now, no way. Creepy fucker who did that is probably psycho or some sort of serial killer, I don't want anything to do with that."

But he noticed with dread that no matter how much he walked, he could still see the strings. They glowed brightly against the white... everything.  How was he supposed to even get out of here if there was nothing else?

So he got up and started walking.

He walked and walked. And then walked some more. He had the urge to start screaming. Someone would hear, right? Someone would come, help him, get him out from this uncomfortable place!

But the irrational fear of voices screaming back at him stopped him.

Eventually, he stumbled upon a bean bag. It was a deep blue with yellow stitched and red patches. It was an eyesore, that's what it was.

Geno, of course, loved it immediately.

"Well, I may be trapped in a place with no escape, probably with a crazy serial killer somewhere on this Anti-Void or whatever... But at least they have good taste."

He sat down on it and sighed, his body sagging on the bean bag.

"Definitely good taste" Geno purred. This bean bag was glorious, the most comfortable ever. He wondered what the filling was.

(You don't want to know. Don't I? Believe me, you don't. Why, though? The filling? Yeah? It's dust. Oh... OH, OH SHIT-)

Geno felt like this bean bag was too good to be true, a sudden uneasiness from his soul piece made him get up. Really, the one thing that could comfort him and his soul seemed too wary of it to even get near it.

He had to hand it to Reaper. He really was a masochist.

_____________________

Ink felt a bit apprehensive, but he was way too excited to tell Error the news with actual proof this time to take the glitch's feelings into consideration too much. Which, happened more times that he would like to admit, but whatever.

He felt his body slowly loosing his form, his bones melting into ink, dissolving and disappearing from sight. His now liquid form sliding through ground, soil, code. Twisting, morphing and adapting to all shapes and forms in order to pass through the gapes of the Multiverse needed to reach his destination, the Anti-Void.

With a splash, he noticed his body landing harshly against floor. It felt weirdly like nothing was there, but at the same time he couldn't phase through the ground anymore. He had arrived to the Anti-Void, then.

Nice.

Now, he only needed to go over Error's spot, where he had all his stuff. His chocolate, his knitting stuff, the famous bean bag that the glitch wouldn't share no matter how much Ink insisted. His friend was mean like that, but he still liked him just like that, grouchiness and moodiness and all.

Getting near, he heard the static. That was a sign of the presence of Error, the normal one that alerted him of the Forced God of Destruction's presence.

With the kind of guy Error was, Ink was grateful for the warning.

Although, this time around, the static sounded less... Aggressive, for lack of a better word. Softer, less harsh. He like to paint stuff, not write poetry.

He hopped on place and, to avoid the Anti-Void's weird take on physics, once he saw the beanbag he just teleported over there.

"Hey there, Errorrrr?" Blinking, Ink's smile dropped as he stared at the skeleton who definitely wasn't the black boned glitchy one he had come looking for. Was this guy the one letting out that static? No wonder it sounded different! "I didn't know Error had even more friends, how cool! Did you come visit him too?"

Ink was beaming again, but his expression got more and more forced the longer the other skeleton just stared at him in disbelief.

"Who's Error?"

Now, now. This surely wasn't what it looked like... right? "Tall, black boned glitchy dude that has error signs all over him? The only one who lives on this place?"

At the blank look he received, there was an ugly feeling churning on his soul.

"Don't know him."

"Oh, well... Then why did you come here? There's, heh" he was getting nervous at all the white surrounding him. He never liked the color, reminded the Forced Creator too much of Fate. "There's not much else to do here and I really doubt Error would just leave you roam on this place."

"I haven't seen anyone here before you."

Poor guy, the unknown skeleton in front of him was obviously shaken. Maybe an accident? But it didn't seem likely with how careful Error was with his portals and personal space. That guy and his haphephobia, honestly.

"Okay, then. I'm just gonna go-"

"Wait! You..." the bleeding skeleton adjusted his scarf. A nervous tick, maybe? "You know how to exit this place?"

Ink inhaled sharply. So maybe it was exactly what it looked like.

Well, his friend just gained himself a whack with Broomie on the back of his skull. Error was so dead after this, Ink thought they were over this kind of thing!

Please let this be a misunderstanding and not another Blueberror scenario.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Do you like El? I got the impression that you don't really like her. And if you consider Byler as endgame, what kind of ending do you expect for El? Season 2 reminded me that El supposed to die in Season 1. This is immediately felt, since I got the impression that the Duffers simply do not know what to do with her, she had a rather boring story in Season 2. The only thing that added interest to her story was her relationship with Hop. But this is more Hop’s Arc, and El is just an addition to it.

I like El. That is to say, I like the idea of the character. I think she was very well written in Seasons 1 & 2, and she’s been very well acted by Millie Bobby Brown. It was really Season 3 that soured me on her, and that’s more of a criticism of the writing than the character. I’d like to believe that her depiction in Season 3 is intentional, and that they have plans to build on it, but it still remains to be seen. Her story is complex in that her personal journey is overinfluenced by others, and this results in her appearing to not have her own journey. Season 3 can still work with that story, as long as it was meant to demonstrate that she has a ways to go still. 

Basically, El is a tricky character to work with. Her lack of social and emotional development early in life should result in a stunted child who has difficulty adapting to a more normal life. This is what we see in Seasons 1 & 2, and it was handled very well. El had a basic set of personal values that drove her actions: personal survival, protection of her friends, and a desire for freedom. She had little opportunity for growth considering that she went from being raised in the very restrictive lab to spending a year in Hopper’s cabin with little besides him and TV for models of behavior. Her “spying” on Mike isn’t terribly unusual given her isolation and the fact that she bonded with him the most. The possessive behavior, such as knocking Max off her skateboard, is concerning, but not terribly unusual given her upbringing. When she finally reunites with the Party, she makes sure to share a moment with Dustin and Lucas, showing that she missed them as well as Mike. She also checks in on Will while he’s unconscious, so one would think she’d want to get to know him.

Then comes Season 3, and, suddenly, El is fine about being stuck in the cabin so long as Mike is with her. She seems to care little about seeing Dustin or Lucas outside of helping the Party with Dustin’s surprise welcome home. I don’t recall her interacting with Will at all. She also seems to be incredibly dismissive of Hopper, despite their Season 2 arc seeming to be how much they love each other despite each having difficulty adapting to a father/daughter relationship. This would ostensibly be Mike’s influence on her, but it still shows a major compromise of her values, as well as a regression of her Season 2 development. We’re seeing her use Mike as a sort of safety blanket (she literally clings to him when Dustin shows off his gadgets), and she continues to do so until she catches him in a lie. 

I do sometimes wonder if the Duffers painted themselves into a corner with her. She was a very popular character, which I suppose led to them adding her to Season 2. They claimed that they originally intended for her to have truly died in the act of killing the demogorgon. Her power level necessitated keeping her away from the threat for most of Season 2, resulting in the seemingly out of place episode where she goes to see Kali. Any development from that arc is missing in Season 3 aside from a single mention of “bitchin’” by El. She lacks the assertiveness, sense of camaraderie, or even personal style that this episode seemed to impart onto her. Instead, she’s revealed to still be a chameleon of sorts, taking on the qualities and mannerisms of whomever she is currently attached to. She goes from having Mike’s flippant arrogance to Max’s sassy assertiveness. 

This is all something I could live with, and even appreciate, as long as it leads somewhere. I’m begging for Season 3 to all have been a means to hammer home that El is not developing in a healthy fashion. If that ends up being the case, then I will be happy. 

A sense that I dislike El may come out in regards to her powers, though. I have a dislike for super powerful characters who can solve any given problem. Season 3 was heavily reliant on El. Unlike Season 2, El is present at each occasion where her powers are beneficial, and she is subsequently able to win, to one degree or another, each time. It was particularly frustrating during the sauna test. She is shown being overpowered by Billy, which could have been a good occasion to show that El can’t do it alone, as well as her friends not being totally helpless. Instead, they have Mike utterly fail at helping, and El manages to suddenly bounce back and defeat Billy even though she had just failed a moment prior. They may have shown El struggling, increasingly so, but she was still able to win every battle. Seasons 1 & 2 carefully spooned out her powers until their climactic battles, but not Season 3.

I suppose, given that I think Season 3′s over-the-top, in-your-face action was intentional, that they wanted to highlight the overreliance on El, and also show that her powers can’t constantly save the day. They do ultimately have her powers vanish, requiring the rest of the cast to figure things out. Still, it was frustrating to also have her be the only to break Billy away from the Mindflayer’s control. That really should’ve been Max’s role, if anyone’s, and it was just another “El saves the day” moment that grated on me. Yes, she did it without her powers, but only because her powers gave her the knowledge to put it to work. 

I imagine Season 4 will involve her coping with life without powers, which I think will be great. Not only will it serve as a plot necessity to keep her from finding Hopper, but it gives her a chance to be a regular kid. Her biggest character arc, hinted at by Max, is that she needs to discover who she is. While she had some growth in Season 2, limited though it may have been, she regressed in Season 3. She won’t be able to cling to Mike or Max now that she’s moved away. It’s been her tendency to simply emulate others that has held her back. Her being Hopper’s daughter is much a part of her arc as it is his. She doesn’t know how to have a father due to her only previous experience being “Papa.” Her attitude with him in Season 3 wasn’t her learning how to be a typical teenager. Rather, she was emulating Mike, making it a symptom of her larger problems. 

El, ultimately, hasn’t achieved even a rudimentary sense of self, and Mike is partially to blame for it, albeit uninentionally. Anytime El has shown any growth, she’s ultimately reverted in order to be with Mike again. El is better without Mike, and vice versa. They were codependent, unhealthy. Their relationship isn’t necessarily beyond repair, but it would almost require a complete reboot. I think it would be extremely limiting for her story have her end up with Mike when we’ve already seen how bad it’s been for both of them. An ending for El should involve her discovering who she really is outside of Mike’s, or anyone else’s, influence. It should involve El finally being part of a family (be it just Hopper or an integration into the Byers), as well as learning to be part of a larger group of friends instead of attaching herself to one person (as she did with Mike and Max). It had to have been intentional to show her lack of interaction with other characters. Otherwise, it’s just bad writing. The Duffers may have made a risky decision in bringing back a character they originally didn’t plan to, but I choose to believe they did so with at least some idea of what to do with her.