#because he feels like he needs it to protect peter properly

[ask-ursa-tonypeter]

[fic: double-blind] Ok i dunno if this is too much of a hypothetical/meta question or not, but if it's ok, i would like to ask sim!Tony from the previous ask (kidnapping AU, i think?):

Say, somehow, through magic or time travel or whatever, your Peter, your actual son makes his way back to you, alive. And the first thing he does is he asks you to take a serum that reverses the effects of extremis. Would you do it?

I... yes. Yes. I would do anything for him.

[blooming-violets]

Peter's reaction to bumping into an ex 10 years later who now Has a family of her own ?

Hold on, I raise you this, her husband has passed away so she's raising her children as a single mother.

Because now I'm thinking about future step father Peter Parker. I don't think I've ever pictured him in a stepdad role before, raising another guy's children, but now I kind of love it??

He would be such a good stepdad! Probably at this point, he's thinking kids will never happen for him. He's getting older, he's struggled in the dating world, he's feeling like that part of his life was passed by.

So when he stumbles upon her one evening and they end up going out for coffee, suddenly sparks begin to fly. They reconnect like they haven't been apart a single day. Except that he's very aware of the ring on her finger.

And, let's be real, this Peter at this age isn't afraid of getting into an affair with a married woman if she desires it. He's horny and enjoys sex. BUT she hits him with the dead husband line.

And he knows better than anyone what it feels like to lose someone you were so in love with.

They're little lunch dates ends in emotional tears and heart felt conversations and he walks away feel like he really connected with her again.

It's a slow romance.

It's been over five years since her husband passed but she still isn't sure how to do this whole dating thing again. She has needs, too, but her heart is torn. So they start with just sex.

"No feeling attached. Just sex."

Fucking for the sake of fucking. Just two people who have needs that need to be met.

But we all know that won't be where it ends.

Feelings will always come into play. Especially since they were old lovers. Years of passing time need to be caught up on. They aren't the same people they were years before.

Peter falls first. Obviously. He has less to lose with his feelings.

Her feelings are highly complicated. She has a seven and five year old daughter. She was pregnant with her youngest when her husband died.

She's careful about introducing him to the girls at first. She's not someone who drags over any random man she's sleeping with to her kids.

When they've been dating more concretely long enough, he's finally able to properly meet them. The youngest warms to him immediately. She never knew her father and is just happy to have a man in the house to roughhouse with. The seven year old is a little more wary of him. She's overly protective of her mom, watches Peter with a scowl most of the time, stays quiet and reserved like she's constantly trying to size him up.

Peter, of course, doesn't mind. He lost his parents too. He gets it.

He finds out she's really into Pokémon and that's when they first truly bond. He pulls up his Pokémon Go app and they go out hunting for Pokémon around the neighborhood. After that ice breaking, she can't get enough of him.

Within the first year, he's really made a home for himself amongst their family. He loves his girl, adores the kids, and feels a sense of peace and belonging he hasn't in a long time.

After they get married, I could see him adopting the girls officially. But before hand, he visits their father's grave and talks to him, letting him know that he is so thankful to have found his family and that he promises to be the best man to them that he possibly can be. That he can trust Peter to take care of them. That he won't let them down.

And that he loves them more than anything.

[stuckysimp]

I'm like 8 years too late, but oh well - I've had this Captain America Civil War rant stuck in my head for a while and I need to get it out after re-watching it. (This is gonna be long af, but bear with me).

I feel like a lot of people missed the actual point and plot of the movie (and the marketing definitely didn't help). The whole "team cap vs team iron man" stuff becomes irrelevant after like the first 20 minutes of the movie. But of course, it's still quite a big part of the movie and I'd like to take a moment to explore what I think, the different character motivations are around why they signed or didn't (or would / wouldn't).

The only reason Tony "I successfully privatised world peace" Stark signed the accords in the first place anyway is because of his massive survivors guilt complex which we see triggered by the woman who approaches him at the end of his speech to the MIT students. Like this man does not give a single shit about the government, and much like Steve Rogers, he just wants to keep people safe. Unlike Steve, however, he doesn't trust himself to do so and thinks of himself needing the be kept in check, for someone else to take the blame (though he'd probably internalise it anyway, let's be real).

Rhodey has always kind of been more on the side of the government, even if that meant going against Tony - think Iron Patriot - so it makes sense that he'd want to sign. He understands that a group as powerful and dangerous as the Avengers needs to be kept in check, but what he doesn't understand are the risks around that. In a perfect world, it would be fine, but unfortunately government systems are stupid and corrupt.

Peter was only really in the fight in the first place because he was a child blindly following this big celebrity guy he idolised. He didn't know enough about the situation to properly analyse it, just being fed and believing whatever Tony told him (and he had no reason to go against him, so why would he? This was his shot, he's been chosen by THE Tony Stark to help). "Mr Stark said you'd say that" "he said you're wrong, you think you're right, that makes you dangerous." I 100% believe that if Peter had read the accords, that he would have been on Steve's side anyway.

Vision is an embodiment of 'good' and 'peace' - essentially everything that Ultron was supposed to be, but wasn't. He has no reason to be against the accords if it will keep people safe and he makes the point during their conversation of "our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict ... breeds catastrophe. Oversight ... oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand." It's also very much the beginning kind of puppy love between him and Wanda in this movie, meaning that he will want to protect her. No matter what. Even if it means "locking her in her room."

Nat was seriously one of the only people in this movie with a brain cell lol. I firmly believe that if the accords had been properly put in place, she would have followed them until she no longer thought the government's instructions were 'right' and would have gone against them anyway. Her main goal in this movie was trying to keep the Avengers, her family, together and ultimately do the 'right' thing.

T'challa didn't give one shit about the accords lmao, he's damn king. No, he was only there in the first place to take revenge on his father's death (which at the point of the airport fight scene he still thought it was Bucky's fault. He later discovers, after following Steve and Bucky to Siberia, that it's Zemo's, and locks him up).

Steve's concerns with the accords are valid, and honestly I wouldn't have signed them either. To be told "sign, retire, or get locked up" isn't really a big winner for me lol. And the thing is, Steve's done this. He fought in WW2, he got paraded around like some big hero while men died, and he did nothing. It wasn't until he went against orders, that he actually did something helpful (saved the captured 107th division in Azzano). So, no, he's not going to be side-lined when people out there need help. That's just not who he is.

Bucky had no part in the accords, and as soon as he got introduced into the movie, that plot point became irrelevant. He was framed by Zemo, and then used to rip the avengers apart. The accords was just another log to add to the fire at that point. He followed Steve because "till the end of the line" and all that. He literally, heartbreakingly, says "I don't know if I'm worth all this," but he follows anyway.

Scott, much like Peter, is kinda just happy to be there. He's following CAPTAIN FREAKING AMERICA into battle without hesitation. But like, let's be honest, given his whole movie and character, I very much doubt Scott would be on Tony's side if he had read the accords.

Clint got dragged out of freaking retirement for this shit, and he didn't actually get involved until after Team Cap already knew about Zemo. That's why he's there. Not because of the accords, but to help Steve get to the Quinjet to get to Siberia and stop Zemo before he can go through with his assumed plan to wake up the five super soldiers who'd been stashed there. (Of course, this isn't actually Zemo's plan, but we'll get back to that later).

Wanda is going through some serious self loathing during this movie, and the incident in Lagos doesn't help. Like at all. Ma girl just wants to live her life and be left alone at this point and she's getting all of these horrible things thrown into her face by Secretary Ross. She doesn't want to be controlled, she doesn't want to be a weapon, she wants to be free. "You locked me in my room." - Girl already probably hates Tony Stark due to her family being killed by one of his bombs and Ultron, so she's mad anyway.

Sam is on Steve's side from the start. With the accords, to fight Zemo, all of it. During the 'discussion' between him and Rhodey, he says "So let's say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?" He doesn't trust Secretary Ross, and is clearly hesitant to add his signature to the accords. (not that I blame him).

The main actual villain and 'plot' of the movie after the first part with the accords, was the whole thing with Zemo wanting to tear the Avengers apart to get revenge for his family dying in Sokovia. He takes advantage of the accords, and of Bucky / The Winter Soldier to do this but it's not really discussed which annoys me. It's a MAJOR part of the film, yet all I ever really see being discussed are the accords affecting the decisions of characters throughout the film with no consideration of the wider picture.

From when the UN meeting is blown up, the Avengers are being manipulated by Zemo working in the background throughout the film. He frames Bucky for murder, and Steve - who has been looking for Bucky for the past 2 years - goes after him like ‘tf man’. Bucky gets taken in and Zemo uses the opportunity to activate the Winter Soldier programming, learn about Hydra’s super soldier program, and of course - “Mission report. December 16, 1991.”

This leads to Bucky’s escape and attack, Steve and co going on the run, and eventually the airport fight. The meaning of this scene gets lost, I feel, when people relate it back to the accords because it’s not about that anymore. Not really, not for anyone. Especially not for Steve, or even for Tony.

Tony at this point, most definitely feels like his world is being torn apart. He’s losing control, he’s spiralling, and Steve just isn’t listening. He’s blinded by his anger to the bigger picture and he just wants to get a handle on the situation to deal with it further.

Steve’s forgotten all about the accords, his priority is keeping Bucky safe and stopping Zemo. He tries to tell Tony, tries to talk to him, but Tony isn’t listening either. I mean their whole interaction just before the fight shows this:

(the dialogue below has been condensed to show the key lines - basically I got rid of other characters talking irrelevantly)

-

Steve Rogers: Hear me out, Tony. That doctor, the psychiatrist, he's behind all of this.

Tony Stark: Anyway, Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in. That was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?

Steve Rogers: You're after the wrong guy.

Tony Stark: Your judgment is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday.

Steve Rogers: And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't.

- later -

Tony Stark: And you've been a complete idiot. Dragging in Clint. 'Rescuing' Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place. I'm trying to keep . . . I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart.

Steve Rogers: You did that when you signed.

Tony Stark: Alright, We're done. You're gonna turn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us. NOW! Because it's us! Or a squad of J-SOC guys . . . with no compunction about being impolite. [Steve looks aside.] Come on.

-

Not to mention that Tony, after learning that Zemo impersonated and killed the actual doctor dude that was supposed to see Bucky whilst he was in confinement, he DISOBEYED the accords and Secretary Ross to go and help Steve stop what they thought at the time was the reactivation of the five super soldiers who'd been left in cryo freeze.

He follows Steve and Bucky to Siberia to help them, not to fight them. That only changes because of Zemo showing the footage of Bucky, WHILE UNDER BASICALLY MIND CONTROL, killing Tony’s parents.

In this scene, Tony 100% has every right to be angry. Unfortunately, he’s the kind of person who cannot see past his anger. He gets in his head, he spirals, and he tries to kill Bucky based on blind rage. (IT WASN’T BUCKY’S FAULT DAMMIT).

And yes, Steve was 100% in the wrong for not telling Tony. This whole scene could have been very easily avoided if Steve had just pulled Tony aside and had the difficult conversation about his parents death. Tony deserved to know, and Steve was only sparing himself pain by doing it. Dick move Steve, 0/10.

The fight between the three allows Zemo, having successfully completed his plan of eliminating the super soldiers and tearing the avengers apart, to slip away. With his work done, he tries to end his own life, but T’challa stops him and arrests him instead.

Steve and Tony’s fight was unnecessary, dramatic, and heart-breaking, and I’m very glad they managed to make up later, but ye. I think, at the end of the day, they’re all just dramatic idiots with communication issues lol.

-

Thank you for reading my long ass essay lmao, apparently I have a lot of feelings about this movie 😂

[snapscube]

So you mentioned the Amazing Spider-man movies, what are your thoughts on them? For me; I was pleasantly surprised by 1 AND 2. Like 2 is bad, real bad, but the jokes were legit, Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are just...an amazing on screen couple and until the transformation Harry is a really fun villain....just sucks that most of the movie is exposition about peoples relationships to one another or experiments done mostly off screen.

TASM1 is perfectly serviceable as a standalone project and was definitely not the worst jumping off point, but it struggles to really properly understand Spider-Man/Peter as a personality. Peter absolutely doesn't have to be a goody two-shoes loser, all of the best adaptations of Peter imo can have some serious attitude and grit to their persona, but TASM1 kinda over-corrects on the Tobey Maguire "shy nerd" angle by making Spidey a bit too much of a dick. I remember the movie getting a lot of praise for finally making Spider-Man funny and quippy, praise I similarly gave at the time, but it really... doesn't do that nearly as much as ppl gave it credit for??? There's like ONE scene where Spider-Man is kinda jokey with someone he suspects to be Ben's killer, but that scene kinda stinks because he's not quipping as much as he's like actively cruel lmao. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone had great chemistry though and you can tell Marc Webb knew his stuff when it came to directing that kind of romantic tension, seeing as how his previous project was 500 Days of Summer. All-in-all, it's a Fine movie but it's not a fantastic adaptation of the things I personally like about Spider-Man.

TASM2 is so much more intriguing to me to watch and to talk about. It's genuinely baffling how that movie ended up like it did, but in a way that almost anyone could have predicted. That movie STINKS. It's really really bad. But it also has kind of the opposite problem to TASM1 in that... TASM1 is a good movie that doesn't properly showcase the character of Spider-Man, whereas TASM2 is a garbage movie that features some of the best live action Spider-Man scenes/setpieces we had seen and would ever see to this day. It's sincerely tragic how many great INDIVIDUAL MOMENTS are in that movie, and how loosely connected they are by some monumentally stupid studio meddling. That movie has everything going in its favor with Andrew Garfield in the lead, the best live action Spider-Man suit to this day, the most thrilling and well rendered swinging sequences put to film, and the occasional glimpse of a true Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man that is down on the ground connecting with and watching over not just the city itself but the people within it. There's a montage in the middle of the movie that features Spider-Man on his daily patrol and he comes across as just so PRESENT and on the same level as the people he protects, meanwhile in the audio track you hear newscasters and interviews fiercely debating whether or not what he does is actually worthwhile. And that shit HITS. But unfortunately that kind of stuff is still too rare and it far overshadowed by Sony desperately trying to make a Spidey Cinematic Universe without earning it. Ultimately they had all of the pieces to make a truly definitive adaptation of Spidey that I feel like almost anyone could get behind, but they just... couldn't. Even Spider-Man PS4, commonly lauded as one of the most definitive Spidey stories of all time, uses SO MUCH of the same DNA of the Amazing Spider-Man films, but the difference is that it had the space to be only exactly what it needed to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Anyway I could talk more about this for sure but I'm looking at the length of this write-up and wincing already LOL.

[retrobr]

it seems like the gotg fandom has already talked about the sad subtext of peter, rocket, nebula, and other guardians' positions in volume 3. but i haven't seen anyone talking about kraglin.

this ramble is about to get pretty long, so bear with me i have a lot to say.

it's just really depressing for me to see him being laughed at in front of everyone, only because he couldn't use the yaka arrow properly. he was just training, trying to somehow get acquainted with the arrow and finally start to use it for protecting the people of knowhere, and his audience just straight laughs at his poor attempts and bullies him.

even cosmo makes him feel like he's a hopeless piece of shit by showing that even a dog could do better than him.

the scene in which adam attacked guardians is not better. when kraglin tried to use the arrow to neutralize him, he failed and once again became the object of ridicule, but this time from adam's side. 

the expression on kraglin's face when he failed, when he realized that he couldn't protect the people, when he realized how useless he was compared to other guardians, just kills me inside. he couldn't do anything to save the guardians, his family.

and i'm not saying "useless" just out of the blue; it's just how he actually felt in my humble opinion. just remember the scene in which he plays cards with other folks and peter calls him, asking for his assistance. he mumbled "my help?" or something like that, as if he couldn't understand why they would need him. he didn't believe that he could help them because he didn't manage to protect them during adam's attack, feeling useless.

but that's not all. that one arrow scene. he was so unsure when he had to use the arrow again, probably fearing that he wouldn't manage to protect the people again. and his expression when he saw and heard yondu for the first time in more than 10 years is just gut-wrenching. all he needed was just a little assurance that he could do it from someone he cares about.

and what everyone else did when he needed that? just laughed at him.

and i'm not even angry at him calling cosmo a "bad dog" and refusing to apologize. in his defense i can say that she made him look ridiculous in front of everyone when he wasn't feeling that great about his blunder. plus they actually made up in the end; the fact that cosmo protected him after all warms my heart genuinely.

justice for kraglin my man hasn't done anything wrong.

[dsafstevenfanclub]

Catch me in the Phone guy and others server that I made straight up kissing it. And by "it" I mean Steven Stevenson

[No I didn't send this ask because I didn't know how to tell you guys I had a Phone guy and others server haha what are you talking about DM me for link...]

Oh also: anyone else feel like the dsaf fandom focuses so much on the other members of the flipside gang that Steven appears once in a blue moon?

Agh. I'm ranting. Oh, rants. If you wanna see my rant about how Steven was done dirty in dsaf 3 um. Okay 👍. Tell me in the notes please I worked hard on that rant. It's in the dsaf confessions tumblr blog.

- a disheveled ass @stevens-lemonboyfriend ... where am I.

THIS. THIS IS A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO RAMBLE BACK THANK YOU. AND YES YES ABSOLUTELY FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOURS!!

Slight cw/tw (especially for fictives, fictkins, and irls/ids) for mentions of the in-source horrors//

ermm ermmmm anyways..

I 100% think that Steven deserves more recognition. I've seen various people just brush him off as nothing more than "an asshole boss". Sure, he could be a little overbearing at Freddy's, but he's phoneguy. Most phoneguys tend to be at least a LITTLE bossy, it's their JOB. They were specifically programmed to be managers, so of course they would be!

And don't forget, Steven was hurting too. He'd been surrounded by people at Freddy's for roughly a decade and yet he still technically alone as he had nobody to properly care about him. He literally had daily crying sessions in the bathrooms! (Yes, that's canon, incase anyone doesn't know.)

Listen, as a Dave, I remember that it was pretty easy to tell he was lonely (based off of my source-memories). I remember him being a little more "off to the side" than most of the others back in the flipside, for lack of better words, and that was a big reason I talked to him a lot during our time together. Even if he's made his mistakes and had done some things he clearly regrets, he was a pretty good boss compared to some others I had worked with in source!

He cared about the well-being of others, even if it wasn't always obvious since he was typically forced to put him and the company first above others, and felt repulsed by the murders. He felt guilty for trying to pin the murders on Jack, even after learning he had a part in it. He felt guilty for sending Peter to the factory and even APOLOGIZED before doing so, unaware if Peter could even still hear it or not.

I respect other people's interpretations, don't get me wrong, but it saddens me a little when people think he's just some asshole who doesn't care about what happens to others. Phoneguys are pressured to stay with the company, to do what they can to protect it - and by extension themselves - or else they face harsh consequences, to put it lightly. It's understandable why Steven did the things he did in before the flipside.

He wanted to treat people like humans, he wanted to be a good person. Don't forget that he tried to stop Henry before he ended up becoming a phoneguy. He was afraid, yes, but he's not just a coward that's too afraid to stand up for what he thinks is right nor unable to defend himself - or others - if needed. The reason he didn't defy the company is because of the SEVERE consequences, even if he clearly hated working with the company, not because he didn't care. Steven definitely deserves love and care, despite having made mistakes.

If you've read this far then uh... ooooooo you have to give him hugs now guys I'm hypnotizing you into hugging him ooooooo /j

Fr though, I stand firm that Steven deserved so much better and that he deserves affection just as much as anyone else. I refuse to change my mind. /silly /pos

-🍆

[lilacella]

I'm not sure if Sirius comes off a little too booktoky in this one...I feel like he is a little too cool and 'popular' xD But what can I do, that's just how I imagine him. I hope it isn't too annoying to read though 😅

Also, I aged Gilderoy Lockhart up a little for this I believe. So if you stumble across that, just ignore it xD

Nightsky

Song recommendations:

Prom Queen by Beach Bunny (tumblr refuses to let me embedd the link for some reason)

Chapter 4: Jealousy, jealousy

First Previous Next

"Wake up already you lovebirds, we will miss breakfast!" James hollered trough the closed curtains of Sirius dorm bed. Remus groaned next to him and buried his face deeper into the crook of Sirius neck. Sirius pulled him closer into his arms and pressed a kiss on his hairline.

"I am afraid we might have to acually get up, Moons."

"But 'm tired," mumbled Remus, his voice vibrating against Sirius skin. "And it's Saturday. Can't we just skip breakfast?" Sirius heart fluttered in his chest. How could he say no to this sweetness?

Since Remus and him had gotten together four months ago his feelings had only intensified. Being close to Remus was intoxicating and he couldn't get enough of it. He always needed to be close, holding hands, cuddling, snogging...and some other things as well. And Remus seemed to return Sirius desire for affectionate touches, sought them out just as much as he did, except - and that was the only hang up - when they were in public.

Remus still wasn't ready to let the rest of the school know about their relationship. Sirius didn't exactly mind whether other people knew or not but not being able to hold Remus hand whenever he wanted, not being able to take im on dates properly, bothered him more and more. Of course he didn't want to pressure Remus into anything but this was annoying.

"Sorry, Prongs, gotta go without us." He called to his friend.

"Oh come on, again? Can't you two keep it in your pants for one weekend?" James teased.

"Shut up," Sirius laughed. "Moony is sleepy, okay. So we'll join you later."

"Right sure, mate. Come on Pete. See you then. And don't forget to use protection," he yelled from the door, quickly slamming it shut behind him and Peter before Sirius spell could hit him.

"Wanker," Sirius chuckled, dropped his wand back on his nightstand and snuggled back against Remus. "Sorry bout the noise, Moonsy."

" 's alright. Just hold me." Sirius melted a little. With a content sigh he wrapped his arms tightly around the other boy, pressing his cheek against the top of his head, inhaling his scent.

"I love you."

The words had left his mouth before he could stop them. Remus seemed to have frozen in place. Fuck.

"Oh, thank you." Remus replied, suddenly sounding quite awake.

Thank you. Thank you! Thank you? Right. Thank you.

"And he didn't say anything back?" James asked, playing with a stone by throwing it up in the air and catching it again.

"He said 'thank you'," Sirius replied dryly while throwing another ferret towards the hungry hippogriffs their MC teacher had put him in charge of. It was snatched out of the air before it hit the ground.

"Oh. That's...that's rough Pads I'm sorry." James frowned in sympathy. "But that doesn't have to mean that he doesn't, right? Maybe he's just not ready to say it." Sirius shrugged his shoulders, exiting the hippogriff paddock and closing the gate behind him. "Maybe he just doesn't...He doesn't have to." James frown grew deeper.

"I'm sure he does. You should see the way he looks at you."

"Maybe he just likes looking at me. And thats it..."

"Bullshit. Padfoot, you know Remus. He isn't that superficial."

"No but he is a pushover. What if he just plays along so he doesn't have to turn me down?"

"What? No! Didn't he kiss you first?"

"Yeah but what if he only did that because he had noticed that..."

"That is an insane theory. Sirius, he likes you and - if you ask me - he loves you as well. Just give him some time to adjust." Sirius sighed deeply trying to dissolve the knot in his chest.

"It's okay. I should just be happy with what I've got with him. If he doesn't love me then that's okay."

James grabbed him by the shoulders, demtermined: "No, listen to me. That's not okay. You deserve to be loved, Pads. And you are, okay? Remus loves you and if he doesn't that's his own fucking loss." Sirius snorted, but couldn't surpress a smile. James pulled him into a tight hug. Sirius squeezed his friend lightly.

"Thanks, mate."

**

Another month had passed and Remus had still not said it back. Sirius hadn't pressed the topic and tried to convince himself that it was okay either way. Did it really matter if Remus was in love with him as long as they still got to be together? Deep down he knew the answer to that question was yes. It did matter greatly. But he pushed that thought down, together with his growing frustration about their secrecy.

Usually Sirius loved having shared secrets with the people he cared about. It made for a special kind of intimacy, similar to inside jokes or age old shared memories. But now that christmas was around the corner and all the couples around them seemed extra coupley and cuddly with each other, Sirius loathed it. He too wanted to go ice skating on the lake, hand in hand with Remus, he wanted to draw their initials surrounded by a heart into the fresh snow, he wanted to use every misteloe as an excuse to snog his boyfriend, take him to the christmas market in Hogsmead and buy him all the chocolate covered fruit he wanted. Well, technically he could do the latter but he couldn't expect a kiss in return. Not that he needed payment to do nice things for Remus but a boy could dream right?

Absentmindedly Sirius strolled through the deserted 3rd floor of the castle, on his way from his Advanced Curses class, that none of his friends were taking. When he turned a corner he almost bumped into Mary McDonald, who was so startled she dropped her books.

"Oh, sorry. Here let me help."

He quickly knelt down to help her pick them up.

"Thank you," Mary gave him a genuine smile.  When they both got up and Sirius wanted to continue his path, not really in the mood for forced small talk, he was stopped by an invisible barrier. Oh no.

They both looked up to the enchanted mistletoe sheepishly dangeling above their heads.

"Oh," said Mary. Sirius looked at her with wide eyes. This was bad. The misteloe spell was pretty much unbreakable from the inside. That's what made them so entertaining for everyone on the outside. They were trapped here, unless they kissed. This was so so bad.

Of course there were worse things than kissing Mary. Sirius never paid too much attention to her but she was a good friend of Lily so she must be a nice person. Under regular circumstances he would have probably just kissed her to get them both out of this and not made much of a fuss about it but...Well, while Remus didn't want them to be official, he was not particularly fond of girls flirting with Sirius. Sirius had told him multiple times that he didn't have any interest in girls whatsoever and even if, Remus would have nothing to worry about. But Remus did worry. And if he were to find out that Sirius had kissed someone else, even under the duress of the misteltoe, he would start all over with his 'You could have anyone, why do you want me anyways?' and the 'Are you sure that you don't want to go out with anyone else? You have options, you know.'

Sirius hated these conversations, that had been a constant in their relationship since day one. Part of Sirius was somewhat flattered, that Remus obviously thought so highly of him but the - much bigger - rest of him felt, as if Remus was trying to push him away. That nothing he did or said was ever sufficient to convince the other that he was good enough, that Sirius didn't care about his other options as long Remus was still one.

With a tortured smile he turned to Mary. The girl smiled back and took a step towards him: "Guess we have to get it over with, if we want to get out of here. There seems to be noone around to bail us out."

Sirius raised his hands defensively. "No!" Mary backed off, startled by his strong reaction.

"No sorry...I...I can't kiss you. I really can't. It's nothing personal. I just...," he trailed off. Mary raised her eyebrows.

"It's okay. Uhm...but we will be stuck here if..."

"I know," Sirius interrupted her, trailing his hand trough his hair. He sighed and leaned against the cold stone wall.

They had been stuck under the mistletoe for a good hour, all their attempts at calling for help or freeing themselves futile. Even if the other marauders might be looking for him by now Sirius wasn't sure when they would turn up. He had the map with him, so no chance using that.

Suddenly Mary let out a nervous laugh.

"Would it really be that bad? To kiss me? I mean we all know you are picky but..."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you haven't dated anyone yet. And not for lack of opportunity. You don't show interest in any of the girls. I heard Samantha Jordan is actually quite offended by that."

"Is she?"

"Yes. Apparently she expected you to ask her out last valentines day."

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"See? Picky. Who doesn't like Samantha Jordan. She's quite fit! And pretty cool if you ask me."

"Maybe you should ask her out then."

"Very funny."

"I am just...otherwise inclined."

Mary looked at him attentively. "Oh? So there is someone?" Sirius flinched. He couldn't tell her. He had promised Remus.

But he could tell her part of it...

"I just...I don't think I care much for girls in general."

"Oh." Mary pondered this new found information for a bit. "I guess that makes sense. Noone in their right mind would turn down a chance with Samantha."

Sirius laughed. "Maybe you should really go out with her."

"Quite sure I'm not her type."

"Who knows, sometimes peoples dating preferences are very surprising."

"What are yours then? Are you into any boys?"

Sirius pressed his lips together and didn't respond.

"Fine then. But if you're gay...why won't you kiss me? You're not one of these guys that think girls are nasty, aren't you?"

"What? No! Of course not. I would kiss you, it's just..."

"Ahhh," Marys face lit up with understanding. "You want your first kiss to be with a boy. I get it. Well that is really unfortunate now." She looked up to their festive prison guard and sighed. "I am hungry though. We are missing dinner."

They did in fact miss dinner, but then, finally they heard footsteps coming down the hallway and soon a familiar voice called out for both of them.

"Sirius? Mary? Maryyy? Hello?"

"Lily, hey over here," Mary yelled over to her friend who hurried towards them, James, Remus and Peter in tow. "There you are! We were starting to get worried."

"Misteloe," said Sirius while pointing upwards and threw Remus an apologetic look. Remus mouth twitched. Obviously relieved, that Sirius would rather be stuck for hours, than to kiss someone else.

Lily shot down the mistletoe with remarkable precision and pulled Mary into a relieved hug.

**

"Are you going to get anything for Sirius?" Lily asked while they made their way through the hallways on one of their obligatory prefect rounds. Sometimes this occupation had it's downsides.

"What do you mean," Remus asked confused. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"For Valentines day? It is in three days!"

"Oh. Well I don't think he wants anything. Sirius isn't much of a gift person, always says he's already got everything. Also he thinks valentines is stupid."

Lily hummed thoughtfully. "Are you sure? I mean James is similar but he still liked the candy I got him last year."

Remus chuckled. "Of course he did, because you gave them to him. It wasn't about the candy, it was about..." Lily watched contentedly how the realization crossed his face. "Well fuck," Remus murmured. "What am I supposed to get him? There is no chance to go to Hogsmeade before?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe pick him some flowers."

"In February."

"You could steal some from the greenhouses."

"Are you encouraging rule breaking behavior, Lily?"

She rolled her eyes. "You could...I don't know. Maybe do something nice with him instead? Plan a little date? You haven't been out with each other at all."

"Yes, because people aren't supposed to know."

"I don't understand why though. What are you worried about? If anyone made any stupid comments I am sure Sirius would put a stop to that quickly."

"I just...Well if you see us together...Do you never think it looks weird?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Sirius is...he is fucking gorgeous. Everybody thinks that. Even the people that despise him cannot deny that he is very handsome. And I...I am pretty mediocre at best."

"You are being to critical with yourself. You look completely fine."

"Yes, exactly. I look fine, he looks perfect. He is charming and effortlessly cool and I am a bloody dork."

"Oh come on, that's just not true. I admit, you used to be a little...loopy. But that was in first grade! You've grown up!"

Remus shook his head. "This is really nice of you but still...If people saw us together they would certainly wonder what on earth he is doing with me."

"And then what?"

"Then they might start telling him that and then he might start wondering too," said Remus quietly. Lily gently shook her head.

"Remus," she said softly. "That's never going to happen."

When Remus entered the Great Hall Sirius was already sitting at their usual spot. James and Lily were off on one of their romantic walks around the castle and Peter had to take extra lessons with Prof. Flitwick, to fix his grades before the N.E.W.T.s. So Sirius was by himself. Except for Oliver Thompson, a 7th year Ravenclaw who was leaning on the back of Sirius chair, hovering over him. They were talking. Remus couldn't hear their voices but from the look on Thompsons face he could imagine.

Since word had gotten around that Sirius was gay - Mary had accidentally let it slip and word got out quickly - the girls had stopped hitting on him but some boys had started. And they happened to be lot more forward about it. Remus quickened his pace to reach them faster.

"Why not? Come on just one date! It won't kill you," he heard Thompson say.

"It might," Sirius replied dryly. "Sorry Thompson but I am not interested."

"Really? Not even a chance? I promise I'd make it worth your while." Thompson smiled suggestively and Sirius pulled a face in response.

Remus had reached them and without thinking he stepped in between them and pushed Thompson away from Sirius. Jealousy was pooling in his stomach like acid.

"He's not interested."

Thompson raised his eyebrows mockingly "Oh I am sorry, since when is it part if the prefect duties to cockblock?" Remus glared at the brawny guy.

"Step away, Thompson."

Thompson laughed. "Look at that! Loopy Lupin trying to tell me off!"

"Watch your mouth!" hissed Sirius angrily and got up from his chair.

Thompson sneered. "Why are you defending that loser? I mean I know you two are hanging out but we all know that's a pity thing right?"

The words made Remus feel sick and dizzy but he held his position. He would not just give up now. And he knew it wasn't true. Right? Of course not.

Thompsons patience however ran out and he roughly pushed Remus aside. "Out of my way, nerd."

Remus collided painfully with the table. He was about to pull his wand when Thompson was suddenly knocked back by a spell, landing on his ass. His eyed grew wide in shock as he realized that he couldn't even complain about the rough treatment, since his mouth had vanished without a trace.

"I said watch your mouth," Sirius stated coldly and put his wand away. When he looked over to the shocked Remus, his gaze immediately softend. "Are you alright?"

Remus answer was interrupted by a loud yell from the other side of the Hall.

"MR. BLACK! Into my office, NOW!" Professor McGonnagalls face was flushed red with anger as she crossed the hall with long strides.

"All weekend?" James asked shocked.

"He can be glad that it is only that!" Remus shook his head. "That was an incredible dangerous spell! You could have killed him, Sirius!"

Sirius glared at him. "I did that for you, you git."

"That was utterly unnecessary."

"As was your pseudoheroic attempt to drive him away. If you want people to stop hitting on me, there would be an easier way, you know?" Sirius got up from his bed and stormed out of the dorm.

"Sirius!" Remus called after him but to no avail.

James sighed. "What is it with you two."

Remus groaned and dropped back onto his bed.

After Sirius hadn't returned at bedtime Remus decided to go looking for him. James handed him the map and the cloak and told him to not rile Sirius up any further. As if he had consciously chosen to do that.

He found his boyfriend in the owlery, perched on a windowsill between the birds, as if he was one himself. "Are you still sulking?," he asked gently.

"I'm not sulking," Sirius snapped back. "I just don't want to deal with you right now."

Remus flinched. He felt bad for making Sirius this upset. But Sirius had gone too far!

"I'm sorry. I appreciate that you defended me but that was...a bit much." Sirius didn't look at him and kept his narrowed eyes fixated on something in the brickwork.

"I mean, It was a little funny...but I don't want you to do something like that for my sake."

"Well that's too damn bad because I will."

Remus sighed and sat himself next to Sirius in the window. The cold air crept through the layers of his clothing and he shivered a little. Sirius must have been sitting here for a while...

"Aren't you cold?"

Sirius gave him a disparaging look. "No."

"Sirius..." Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius waist. Touching usually helped when they've had a spat. But this time Sirius shuffled away from him, keeping his arms crossed. Remus stomach twisted. He hated this.

"Please. Don't be like that."

"Me? What am I doing? Why are you like that," Sirius called out angrily, jumping up and turning to Remus. Remus could see tears glistening in his eyes. His heart cramped. "We've been together for 8 months and you still want noone to know! I get that you need time but come on! We haven't been out once and because you want to keep it a bloody secret, people hit on me and then you get upset because people hit on me. And now you are mad at me because I dealt with it in a way that doesn't suit you! And you haven't..." Sirius stopped his ramblings for a second to steady his breath "...sometimes...sometimes I think you don't even like me."

Sirius turned his face away again but Remus could still see the tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. His throat was tight.

"Sirius..." he got up and approached him carefully. "Of course I like you! I...I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't. Hey, look at me. Please." He gently put his hand on Sirius cheek, feeling hot tears on his skin and turned his head towards him. Sirius didn't resist. Remus softly ran his thumb over Sirius cheek, trying to comfort him. Anything to make him stop crying. "I am so sorry." He whispered and Sirius head dropped against his shoulder. Remus wrapped his arms around him, holding him close.

"I love you."

The words came out so easily all of a sudden, he surprised himself by saying them. All these months he meant to, but couldn't get them out. Like his body would simply not let him speak, not let him become so vulnerable. Maybe because he had been scared that if he said it out loud, it would become real. And then he would have no more excuses in front of himself to keep them a secret. And then...He truly feared what would happen if they were official.

Sirius slowly lifted his head, looking at him through long wet lashes. "You...really? You don't have to..."

Remus pressed a tender kiss on his lips. "I do. And I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I love you so much." Now he could feel tears stinging in his own eyes. Saying these words felt incredibly freeing.

They took their time on their way back to the castle. Slowly strolling over the dark pathways, hands clasped tightly.

"What do you wanna do for valentines day?," Remus asked into the comfortable silence between them.

Sirius gave him a surprised look. "Do you wanna do something? I'm not sure I can offer much. With the detention..."

"I could apply to watch your detention. I am a prefect after all," Remus grinned.

Sirius smirked mischievously. "Sounds like a plan, Mr. Prefect."

Remus looked over to his boyfriend. He was truly a sight to behold, drenched in moonlight, his silky black hair falling softly down to his shoulders, his eyes twinkling like stars on the nightsky..."You are so beautiful," he heard himself say. Obviously today was 'say your thoughts out loud day'.

Sirius laughed. "So that's why you like me, huh?"

"Bullshit. I like you because you are a mean cunt that hexes peoples mouth shut when they piss you off."

Sirius snorted. Then, after a brief pause he asked: "Would you still like me if I didn't look good?"

Remus chuckled in surprise. "Of course! But you would always look good. It's just how you are."

"That makes no sense. My apperance is hardly an ingrained character trait."

"No, it is! I mean...how do I explain this. Do you know how some people can pull off the ugliest clothing? Like no matter what they wear they always make it look good. I think that's you but with...bodies? Like you could take poly juice of...of Snivellus and..."

"Ewww why do you have to bring him into this?"

Remus laughed "Let me continue," he giggled. "So what I'm trying to say is, you could wear the most unattractive person but you would still look good. People would still think you were hot."

Sirius snorted. "You are being ridiculous."

"Maybe. Maybe I just like you too much..." he grinned. The events of the last hour had left him feeling giddy and carefree. And maybe that was the reason, why he said the following:

"I think I am ready. I think...I think I want people to know. I want to be able to point at you and tell people that you are my boyfriend. And I want all these guys to leave you alone."

Sirius face lit up and he stopped in his tracks. "Really?! Are you sure?"

Remus nodded. Sirius beamed and pulled him into a kiss. Remus rejoiced in the feeling of their lips moving together, hands and arms tightly wrapped around the other, before they reluctantly separated and continued their walk to the dorm, both smiling to themselves.

**

Since valentines, things had been nothing but wonderful between them. The reaction of the other students to them suddenly strolling through the hallways hand in hand hadn't been nearly as bad as Remus had expected. Maybe the tale of Thompsons fate had served them as a warning. People were definitely talking about them but usually left them alone. And so they spent the breaks together snogging in some corner of the castle or behind the greenhouses and the evenings in the common room snuggling on one of the couches.

But with May came study season and Remus became increasingly stressed. Sirius of course didn't have any concerns about the N.E.W.T.s but Remus spend exceeding hours at the library, revising.

Today was one of those days. Remus was sat behind a pile of book with Sirius next to him who had tipped his chair back and played with the hood of Remus cloak, when Lily and Mary joined them giggeling about something.

"What is wrong with him?"

"Don't be so harsh Mary, he's only a kid."

"He is fifteen! I wasn't that supid at fifteen!"

"Who is stupid?" Sirius asked mildly intrigued.

"Lockhart." Lily dropped her books on the table and sat down across them.

"Who's that?"

"One of the 5th graders," mumbled Remus still focused on his book.

"The blonde one. Actually quite cute if he wasn't such a baby," Mary added.

"And what did he do?"

Lily and Mary exchanged a look and Lily looked over to Remus.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Well...he said that he was going to 'romance' you," Lily giggled at her own words.

"What?" Remus looked up from his book.

"Yes. He seems to believe that he can unhitch Sirius. Absolutely ridiculous."

Remus frowned. Gilderoy Lockhart might be a little pretentious twat but he was quite good looking. A lot better than himself, anyway. Maybe he wasn't being that ridiculous...He looked over too Sirius who was pulling a face.

"What an idiot. Who does he think he is? Unhitch me...really." He turned to Remus. "Absurd isn't it?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his book. He felt queasy.

Since the revelation of Gilderoys plan and some - futile - flirting attempts from his side, he had become topic number one between Remus and Sirius and, by extension, the marauders as a whole. Sirius brushed the whole thing off as a kid having delusions and couldn't understand why Remus would feel threatened. Remus on the other hand was getting increasingly upset. James and Lily tried their best to calm him.

"Come on mate, do you really think Pads would cheat on you? That's mental."

"I am not worried that he will cheat, I am worried that he will leave me!"

"For a fifth grader."

Remus groaned in annoyance. "Look, I....its just..."

"He loves you."

"I know but I haven't exactly been a good boyfriend, haven't I? I made him keep it a secret for months, didn't tell him that I love him and now I am constantly busy studying. And I know he is bored. But I need to study if I want to pass and...and what if he is so bored that he'd rather spend some time with Gilderoy than another afternoon in the library..." he trailed off, feeling terrible.

James shook his head vigorously. "He doesn't care about that. Do you really think he'd leave you because he's bored?"

"Well frankly, yes. I do. Because being bored gives him time to think and then he might realize how blinded he was and how much better off he would be with someone else." His voice broke.

James put a hand on his shoulder. "Moony. You are worried about nothing. Believe me, if Sirius suddenly lost interest in you I would know."

James had a point, Remus thought. But the uneasy feeling didn't dissolve.

"Excuse me, help! You're a prefect, right?" a group of agitated students ran towards Remus who was on his way to the hall with Sirius.

"Yes. I am. What's the matter? And no running in the hallways please!" He just knew that Sirius was gonna make fun of his Prefect voice later.

"Gilderoy." The students tried to catch their breath. "He is at the Hippogriffs."

"What the fuck is he doing there," Sirius asked immediately pissed off.

"He wanted to ride one."

"What?! Does he have an urgent deathwish or something?"

"He wanted to impress...Well he wanted to impress you. Because you take care of them. So he thought if he could ride one..."

Sirius groaned loudly. "What is wrong with that kid?"

"But he got snatched!" Interrupted one of the younger students.

"Snatched?" asked Remus with growing concern. Sirius was already hurrying towards the paddock, the group of students in tow. Remus ran after them.

As they made their way downhill it started raining. Soon all of them were drenched. Suddenly a hippogriff emerged from the clouds, a screaming Gilderoy in it's claws.

Remus caught up to Sirius and grabbed his arm.

"Is this really your concern? What do you even want to do? Shouldn't we get a teacher?"

Sirius shook him off. "I can handle this."

"Sure okay, run to save him!"

Sirius spun around. "What is your problem? Do you want him to die?"

"And since when do you care about that? Or do you care because it's him?"

Sirius pulled a face, angry. "I care because of the hippogriffs. Do you know what happens if they kill someone? I won't let that happen." Sirius turned back around and continued walking.

"Sirius, wait. I...I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Sirius turned around again and in one swift motion pulled Remus into a brief but intense kiss. "I'll be fine."

Remus watched helplessly how Sirius entered the paddock, unleashed and mounted another hippogriff with ease and set off.

It took a few attempts until Sirius managed to free Gilderoy and steered all four off them safely to ground. The group of students and Remus watched in awe.

After they had landed Sirius grabbed Gilderoys arm and roughly dragged him off the paddock.

"Someone get him to the hospital wing."

"You saved me!" Gilderoy swooned. "How can I ever repay you?"

"By staying the fuck away from me! I've got a boyfriend and no intention about swapping him out, eventhough he seems to think otherwise. So get a fucking grip, kid." Sirius grabbed Remus hand und pulled him back to the castle.

They went back to the dorm, Sirius was drying off his wet hair and they both changed into dry clothes.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Remus said. "I was worried about him. I just...I guess I just didn't want you to be the one saving him. Stupid I know."

"Remus...you're not stupid. I mean...I guess I would probably be jealous too, if someone announced that he wants to take you away from me." Sirius pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. "I'm sorry I made you feel so insecure."

"It's not your fault..."

Sirius gently cupped Remus face. "I love you. And I don't want anyone else. Especially not this little twat."

Remus smiled weakly. "I feel like a little twat myself to be honest."

"You aren't. You are great. And you would never be so stupid. Trying to ride a hippogriff...fucking maniac."

Remus leaned his forehead against Sirius.

"Will we be okay?"

"Of course we will, Moonsy. We'll be just fine."

**

The exam season went by in a blur off study sessions, eating and sleeping. The last exam had finally passed and Remus could feel reasonably confident that he'd be leaving Hogwarts with decent grades and he could enjoy their final night at the pub without worries.

"So you two will start Auror training?" Mary asked Lily and James.

Lily nodded. "It sounds like it's quite challenging but I'm up for it"

"Of course you are! You are brilliant," James beamed at her and she blushed a little.

"What about you Pads, have you decided already? Are you going to join us?"

"Nah, don't think so. I would probably get into trouble the first week." Sirius grinned. "I thought maybe I'll do cursebreaking."

"Cursebreaking?" asked Peter surprised. "Isn't that super dangerous?"

Mary nodded, concerned: "I thought that was a job for when you desperately need money...didn't you get a bunch from your uncle?"

"Yes but I will certainly not rest on it. And I think it will be fun. I mean can you imagine me working for the ministry?"

Remus hesitantly shook his head. He couldn't. Actually cursebreaking was the perfect job for Sirius. He was made for it. But Peter was right. It was quite dangerous and Remus wasn't fond of the thought of Sirius getting hurt.

"You'll do great there, mate. They need people like you," James backed Sirius up.

"I guess chances are that we'd still work together sometimes. There is quite some overlap in the fields."

"And what about you, Remus?" Mary turned to him now.

"Me? Oh I don't now. I guess I'll see what I can get."

Mary frowned. "But you're grades should be good, with all the time you spend studying. I'm sure you'll have options."

Remus forced a smile. With his lycanthropy in mind he doubted her words strongly. "We'll see."

He could feel Sirius nudging him under the table, sensing his discomfort. "Well if you don't find anything I can always take care of you."

Remus shook his head decidedly. "No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, sounding offended.

"Because I don't want you to. I need to be able to support myself."

"Well sure, but if you weren't I could..."

"No."

Mary and Lily exchanged puzzled looks. "I don't get why that would be necessary..." Lily wondered.

"And why would you not want that? Not having to work, being taken care of...sounds nice to me," Mary mused.

"Well I don't like it. I don't want to be dependent on someone else."

"You are making it sound liked I'd use it to control you," Sirius complained.

"No, I don't think that. I just..." I don't deserve it, he thought.

Sirius huffed. "Suit yourself. But I will not let you starve, as stubborn as you might be, trust me I am worse." He gave Remus a smile and Remus couldn't help but return it. He knew, if he had to be dependent on someone, then he wanted it to be Sirius.

[irondad-defensesquad]

Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?

Also on AO3!

TRIGGER WARNINGS - past character death, hallucination, and delirium (might be medically incorrect).

DO NOT SHIP PETER AND TONY. P/roship DNI.

--

It’s a slow day today. Mainly because Tony canceled all of his appointments to take care of a sick Peter Parker.

Admittedly, Tony has never taken care of a sick kid before, but he just knew something was off when he realized Peter was late for school early this morning. Getting there, he found the boy running a high fever, whimpering to himself. Luckily, Peter was able to stomach some tea and enhanced medication Tony found in the lab. F.R.I.D.A.Y hasn’t detected any bad side effects for now.

Halfway through the afternoon, Tony is checking on the Spider-Man suit and the Baby Monitor. He already called both Peter’s school and May to let them know about the kid’s whereabouts. Nothing out of the ordinary for now. Everything seems peaceful…

That is, when F.R.I.D.A.Y gives him a concerning report.

“Peter has gotten out of bed and is now in the hallway. He seems to be in distress.”

Tony freezes. “What do you mean?”

“He appears to be lost and confused, unsure where he is. He must be experiencing a fever delirium, judging by his high body temperature.”

The man drops everything and rushes there, until he stops. Peter is touching the walls as though he has never been here before.

“Peter?” Tony calls him.

The teen looks back, clearly half-asleep. His eyes are deep like outer space. And for some reason, Peter looks shocked to see Tony. As in astonished. As in… he hasn’t seen him in years.

“... Uncle Ben?”

Oh my god.

Tony doesn’t know what to say.

All he knows is that he needs to get Peter back in bed, or else he’s going to get hurt.

“Is it really you?” Peter starts coming his way…

Only to stumble. Tony is not fast enough to catch him before he falls on the floor.

“I got you,” he whispers. The kid is burning. “I got you, you’re okay.”

He tries to help Peter stand…

But the boy instead wraps his arms around Tony very tightly, and he’s sobbing like never before.

“I-I’m sorry,” Peter begs. “I’m s-so sorry, Uncle Ben…”

Once again, Tony is at a loss of words. He can’t just say, I’m not Uncle Ben, he’s dead, he’s been dead for a while. That’s just going to make things worse.

“Peter, I’ll just–” Tony tries to lift him.

“No! Don’t go, please, don’t leave me!”

“Shhh, shh…” Tony embraces him more properly. “I’m not going anywhere, kiddo.”

“I’m sorry, please…”

“Shhh… it’s alright, bud.”

Tony feels awful for… pretending to be Peter’s dead uncle, but again, he knows that doing otherwise wouldn’t help. At the very least it’s enough for Peter to calm down, so Tony is able to guide him back to his room. The blanket was thrown to the floor, so Tony grabs it and tucks Peter in.

“Stay?” Peter grabs Tony’s sleeve.

The latter smiles, trying not to break right now. “Of course.”

Peter even scoots to leave some space for him. Tony protects both of them with the blanket and Peter… immediately glues to him again, sounding relieved and probably the happiest he’s been.

“... I love you,” the kid mumbles.

Tony doesn’t think he’s ever heard these words so clearly, coming from Peter.

They aren’t for Tony, though.

Regardless… “I love you, too, Pete.”

He doesn’t get any answer.

Peter must have fallen asleep again.

He probably didn’t hear Tony.

--

Peter sleeps like a rock.

When Tony is sure he’ll be okay and his fever has gone down, Tony decides to take care of the food. Something lighter so the kid doesn’t feel queasy or anything.

It’s nighttime, the TV is on, when Peter is caught coming to the kitchen, rubbing one of his eyes. He looks a lot better than before.

“Hey, kiddo,” Tony smiles. “Feeling better?”

“Mmm… I think so.”

“Alright, so, I got you some toasts, Gatorade… and a banana. I assume you’re hungry.”

“Yeah… But I think I can eat more than that.”

“Just be careful.”

Admittedly, Tony himself is not too hungry, probably because of stress. He just drinks his classic coffee for now. In the meantime, he watches Peter, who looks like he didn’t have that episode today. However, he still looks contemplative while he eats.

Eventually, Peter hums to himself.

“... Man, I had this weird dream… I woke up in my old apartment and then… I saw my uncle standing right there, calling my name. It was like I had just woken up from a nightmare… But, like, Uncle Ben looked kinda different. He had darker hair and he wasn’t wearing any glasses. But it was him, I knew he was there. He took me to bed and stayed with me until I fell asleep again…”

Just a few seconds later, Peter is laughing at the absurdity of his “dream”.

“Weird, right?” The teen comments and resumes his meal.

It’s so jarring.

Just hours ago, this kid was crying and holding onto Tony for dear life. Peter was begging him to stay. Peter said “I love you” to Tony.

But to him, it wasn’t Tony.

To Peter, it was Uncle Ben who came back to look after him one last time. It was Uncle Ben who told Peter that he loved him and didn’t hate Peter for what happened. Everything was okay then.

Tony can’t for the life of him ruin that. He can’t tell the kid that he was feverish or hallucinating. That would destroy Peter. Tony needs to let him have that, at the very least.

Even if Peter never meant “I love you” to Tony.

(After all, does he deserve it?)

“... are you okay, Mr. Stark?”

Now Peter is the one with a concerned look.

“Yeah, of course,” Tony replies, taking another sip of his coffee.

The teen may not believe him, but he looks away, focusing on his phone next to his plate.

Tony has decided he won’t tell Peter the truth about his “dream”, but… he also feels like he shouldn’t just do nothing about it. Every time he does nothing, something will always go wrong.

The hero knows he can’t fill the emptiness in Peter’s heart. He doesn’t want to replace it. But he doesn’t want Peter to believe it’s not important. It must hurt like hell. It must haunt Peter every single day of his life, even if it’s not obvious all the time. Even if the kid pretends it’s not a big deal.

Tony, for once, leaves the now empty cup of coffee aside. He’s next to Peter now, kneeling down to better face him. The boy looks confused.

“What?” Peter asks.

There are so many words to be said.

But all Tony does is… open his arms.

Peter’s brown eyes widen, knowing what it means.

“Mr. Stark… hey, come on, you don’t have to do that.” He hugs himself instead, looking away.

Tony sighs. “Kid.” He doesn’t say more, but he means more. I’m not doing this out of pity. I’m doing this because I love you. I love you. I love you more than you can imagine.

Peter looks nervous. He’s so hesitant to hug Tony back. Like he’s afraid of doing so. Knowing him, it’s probably because he doesn’t want to hurt Tony, not the other way around.

He eventually complies. He’s trembling.

Tony genuinely wants to cry.

He rubs Peter’s back, to let him know it’s safe.

The teen seems to shiver but in surprise, not because he doesn’t like the contact.

Until he relaxes and lets out a deep sigh.

“... Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

Peter doesn’t just mean the hug.

Tony squeezes him a little tighter.

“Always, kid.”

So many unspoken things.

But at least Tony is there and he’s not leaving.

[professional-benaddict]

Stephen's dislocated shoulder - part 1

brainstormings with @dumb-bitch-starker 💗💗

part 2 - part 3

Neurosurgeon Stephen, Peter, dislocated shoulder, hospitals, whump, fluff

Stephen and Peter are on vacation in Hawaii and Stephen learns too late that he is too old for surfing. The poor doctor dislocates his shoulder and so the nightmare begins. 

A dislocated shoulder is very painful and Stephen only shuts up when he gets morphine from the paramedics. Peter feels awful for his boyfriend, but he also feels embarrassed with how Stephen cannot seem to stop criticising the paramedics the whole way to the hospital. He even comments on their driving skills. 

But, it does not stop there. At the ER, it turns out the doctor assigned to Stephen’s case is an old “friend” from Colombia. And even worse, they have a medical student with them. 

“Oh, you’ve never done this kind of setting, right? This is great.” The ER doctor says, gesturing for the medical student to set Stephen’s shoulder back in place. 

“Leonard, the only reason you passed Chem 301 is because I let you cheat off me! We were blood brothers and you’re not gonna do this do me!” 

“Stephen, we all had to learn the first time. So did you right? Aren’t you grateful to the patients you got to practice on? Someone’s gotta be the first.”  

“NO.”

Leonard ends up popping Stephen’s shoulder back in the end while the medical student watches keenly. Peter covers his ears in anticipation of the sickening pop of the joint, but turns out he has to protect his ears from Stephen’s scream of pain. Leonard gives him an annoyed look, but wishes Stephen a speedy recovery and a good surgery back home. Because he will need it to stabilise his shoulder properly. Stephen and Peter travel back home, in polar opposite spirits compared to when they left. They cannot wait to get out of Hawaii and back to New York. 

Stephen has to wear a sling for weeks, and also the four days leading up to his surgery. Peter quite enjoys taking care of his boyfriend and fussing about him. After all, Stephen has provided and care for Peter for a long time. It feels good to give back. 

Four days turns out to be a long time for the neurosurgeon to be on bedrest. And although it is nice that isn’t not his dominant hand that is hurt, Stephen usually jerks off with his non-dominant one. Besides, straining like that makes his shoulder hurt. 

“Would you chill the fuck out if I gave you head?” Peter has to ask this quite a few times in just four days. 

So, Peter is ever so helpful with getting his boyfriend off, and especially when he gets huffy and puffy. Nothing knocks Stephen out like a good orgasm and then being kissed by Peter. 

[flowerslut]

Hi, it’s me, again because everytime I read a new chapter of Roots I just can’t stay away! Spoilers ahead to highlight my favourite content of this chapter:

“Peter will not kill the Major if he loses control. He can restrain him, sure, and he will if it comes down to it, but that does not solve the problem.”

Maria looked up at Peter, who was already staring back at her, mouth in a firm line.

Maria couldn’t see Alice’s face but when Peter started speaking to her in quiet, hushed tones

Alice pressed her face into Peter’s chest

The Alice & Peter content in this chapter is EVERYTHING! It’s so clear that there is a deep bond between them and that he will protect her and care for her, for Jasper. As Jasper seems unable to at the moment 🙄

I feel like they have a brother/sister love, and actually I’m beginning to feel like he may be more of a better brother than Edward and Emmett (poor Emmett btw).

I’d love to know Peter’s thoughts on seeing Alice again? (unless you have him as a POV)

and I’m begging, screaming, crying, throwing up for another Jasper POV when/if he’s gonna get out of his head and see who’s in front of him.

All the love, as always, and thanks for blessing this fandom. You’re the very thing we needed in the Jalice world in 2023-2024 🖤🖤

you!!!! are always so sweet to me!!! thank you!!! 🤧

peter!!! i love peter!!!! i adore peter!!!! and the more I write him into my fics the more i’m determined to include him more!!!! he really is a top 5 underutilized/under-appreciated twilight character for me tbh. he’s just a sweetie pie. he took one look at jasper and thought “I can fix him” and for that we as a fandom owe him SO hard 🫡 ever since we got the midnight sun snippet where alice is ECSTATIC when she finds out peter and charlotte are coming to visit i’ve wanted to see them interact properly in canon 😭😭😭

I have no plans to include any of peters POV in roots (it would be way too spoilery) but I will say that the next chapter (48) is a jasper one and he’s a little less jumbled up in that one. kind of. sort of. you’ll see 🤠

[suncchaser]

i've recently heard discourse about (hopefully + probably) unintentional racism within headcanons in the marauders fandom. as a woc i love seeing poc rep and thought nothing of it until i did a bit more research. when you have jegulus for example, james is seen as this strong protector for shy little reggie who needs protecting and acts mean but is actually super soft inside. then you add the brown james (usually desi, sometimes darkskinned latino) at first i thought it was just a ship i wasn't fond of cuz of the pairing, then when i looked deeper i see big strong poc man who needs to protect his innocent white baby bf (i don't mean white as a derogative btw). 1/2

(pt.2 of my last ask cuz it was too long) also it just feels like the thing where fans will like bad people cuz they're hot. they'll add a bg/nationality to characters they like then the ones they don't are just white/english and thats it. you'll have the black brothers speaking french, james speaking hindi or spanish or punjabi (depending on the hc) and remus speaking welsh. but peter's the big bad so he's monolingual (omg what a crime! /s) marlene will be scottish, mary's black (usually no specific country just black cuz thats good enough for some people) lily will be like greek, barty italian, pandora + evan + dorcas will be black (again same thing with mary) yet snape is just white cuz he's bad and evil and ugly??? like there's nothing wrong with being white/british/monolingual. (its usally snape fans who headcanon him as jewish or other hcs but his haters will always leave him white + monlingual) 2/2

I am Danish, so as white as they come, and I do not want to speak out of turn when it comes to race and how it is portrayed but I have seen many people of colour in the fandom speak on the topic and how uncomfortable certain headcanons surrounding race are, so I think we should listen to them and take what they say into considerations. Because more often than not, it's people from a different race (usually white) headcanoning a character as a certain race while not being nowhere near educated enough to write that character properly.

My thoughts overall is people will often use nationalities, sexualities and mental illness (last anon smh) as replacement for personality traits. If the fandom spent less time playing roulette with those things and actually developed these characters' personalities, the characters could actually be more than two dimensional fools whose entire personalities resolve around ships. You know... actual three dimensional characters, with flaws, a word that does not feature in vocabulary of 80% of the fandom when it comes to their favourite characters.

[turnipatthelibrary]

Time for 2004's Spider-Man 2

I like the opening credits "in case you forgot what happened in the first film" sequences

LOL would we all be abusing our super powers to get our day jobs done? I think we would.

I just love how pathetic this version of Spider-Man is. Like yeah, you'd fail at everything too if you were trying to be a college student and hold down a job and have a social life and be a super hero. Why doesn't he just live with Aunt May? This man can't pay his rent but he's obsessed with do-gooding.

Introducing Perpetual Sun Man!

Okay, he did legit get in a car accident on the way to MJs play, but also he just couldn't resist spidering it up.

Yeah, you really get to see how burning the candle at both ends and all the trauma from the first movies just fucks his life all up. Pathetic Spider-Man is a choice.

'member payphones?

Oh but he could make it to Dr. Octavious's unveiling. So clearly he loves this guy more than he loves MJ, or so I'm sure the plot will say.

The smart arms alone are a piece of impressive technology. Imagine the accessibility applications! Why didn't he market these!? Ah yes, because inevitably all the inhibitor chips malfunction and then you have a legion of evil octo-arms running around. Actually, I'd watch that movie.

Okay, but like fundamentally the process for fusion worked though right? If he just hadn't pushed it.

"The power of the sun in the palm of your hand" is a Sunny-D commercial. I need to see this as a Sunny-D commercial.

LOL like father like son, you gotta say "I'm the boss!" like a little baby or it's not true.

aaand cue the bloodbath. Why all the villains in this franchise gotta have the whole multiple personalities thing going on? And where did he find that hat?

Okay, but I feel bad for Harry though, poor little baby, always striving for his father's love, then asked to take over his entire company and not doing a great job because he wasn't properly prepared and yeah, as far as he knows his best friend knows who murdered his father but won't talk to him about it. Like, damn.

LOL Crime up 75% without Spider-Man? Really? One dude? Was the only thing holding back the tide of crime in the city? What did they do before Spider-Man

None of them deserve Aunt May.

This dingus doesn't have health insurance but he's gonna just go ahead and jump off a building.

Awww hell yeah trope of telling the person you love that you don't love them to protect them. That's good shit right there.

Oooh, Doc Ock SMASH! LOL, I literally had to pause the movie I was laughing so hard when he took his sunglasses off with one of the metal arms. Oh dang, then Spiderman SMASH - Hulk ain't the only one can fuck up some stuff

Somebody would have pushed the emergency stop on that train tho

I absolutely love the idea that all the people in that train car just wordlessly decide to grab him up and lower him down and not tell anyone they know what he looks like. We ain't snitches!

Spider-Man's not dead - he's right behind you!

Come on, smart boy, use that big science brain of yours to shut it down

Oops, you forgot MJ was there

Aw, tragic villain "I will not die a monster" That's also good shit right there.

Hur dur, Spider-Man will always have enemies and I can't take that risk, she was freaking at risk even when she didn't KNOW you were Spider-Man, dummy!

Oop bye bye fiancé, I'm in love with my best friend. Happens to everyone at least once, right?

AVENGE ME! Best friend Spiderman reveal, Dad Green Goblin reveal, Harry is not having a good day.

Oh shit, she going through with it? Wait, no she's not. Okay, leaving someone at the alter real messed up though and she looks so elated about it LOL

Peter, kiss me like one of your French girls. I do like the role reversal of him always chasing her in high school and then her kinda chasing him after that.

Alright I'm just gonna say it, I liked this one better than the first one.

[kitausuret]

harryflash

Hehe.. hehehe.... If you guys thought I shipped parksborn, you ain't seen nothin' yet. This is a ship involving Flash Thompson. So yeah, I ship it. You know I ship it. You KNOOOOOOW.

(Webspinners #3... "Flashster".)

What made you ship it?

Honestly, it was an old fic by @amaronith that had literally like, one mention of HarryFlash, but that's all I needed. Ama is one of my most trusted Spidey writers, and while it wasn't for years more than I would start shipping them in earnest, she kind of planted the seed.

Hilariously, similar to my thoughts on Parksborn, it was an early issue of ASM that made me really love the idea of them - Flash throwing himself (stupidly) at Kraven to try and protect Harry is just so funny and endearing. I love him. He's DUMB.

(Amazing Spider-Man #47, Lee & Romita... you guys have no idea how much I want to own this issue.)

I think also though I'm really intrigued by the idea of HarryFlash because Harry is soooooo different from literally everyone else I ship Flash with. BUT. The more and more I read, the more I'm just like "well I guess Harry is just the exception because he's just that special and amazing and lovable".

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I'm not gonna lie - there's a lot of hints throughout the text about Harry having had a crush on Flash in early college and maybe even high school. And I think it's adorable.

(Amazing Spider-Man (2015) #13.. thanks, @hellomystraightlacedfriend ! Hilariously, this is both a Parksborn and a HarryFlash moment. I really couldn't lose with this stupid joke.)

There's also THIS silly moment from Untold Tales #4 which is like... Harry. Mr. Osborn. How would YOU be able recognize at a glance a football star from another school. Boy you are not that into sports. Are you on Flash's MySpace. Are you?

Anyways I know that's a stretch but I just think it would be funny.

Flash being weirdly jealous of Peter is also like. A LOT. (Panels below from Spider-Man Blue.)

And of course there's the GOOD stuff like the roommates era!!! I love Harry and Flash roommates.

They're so funny and Flash was trying so hard to be supportive... right before Liz snatched Harry up lmaoooo

(that's okay, I low-key ship Harry/Liz/Flash. Maybe not so low-key. You guys know me, I don't ship anything halfway. I mean... the "Flash is their third" vibes are STRONG here:

Okay I am getting carried away with these panels and too lazy to properly label all the issues they come from SO. Overall I just think they're really cute and they have so much history, and such a long, long, LONG friendship. And Flash clearly adores Harry. There's nothing Flash wouldn't do for him.

Even when he's at death's door, Flash is there to save his friend. If that's not love, what is? (ASM #800 below)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't think this ship is popular enough for any of my opinions to be unpopular. I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't understand where this ship is even coming from, because it's not hardly hinted at in almost any adaptation. But like all my ships, I would never want to see HarryFlash exist in a vacuum. I still would want all their other canon relationships to have happened, particularly for Harry, because his family is really important to me. Similar to how I feel about Parksborn, the journey of their relationship is critical in my eyes.

I also have not one but two Flash/Venom Symbiote/Harry WIPs right now so.. like.. LOL. I'm pretty sure that's not popular at all. Fortunately, I don't care that much what people think about my ships.

"Why Harry?" There was no malice or exasperation in the symbiote's question; just genuine curiosity. It rarely, if ever, objected to Flash's choice of partners, and certainly had access to the full array of his memories about them. But sometimes it did seek clarification, and Flash was happy to provide.  "What do you mean?" he asked aloud as he carefully dusted a shelf. On it sat a small, nondescript box, a Spider-Man lapel pin, and a couple framed photos. "Why did I ask Harry out on a date?"  "He is… very different from your usual choice of partners." "So are you, pal."

Flash is very silly. 💖

[flowingaura]

May 27, 2023

“You saw value in him that he didn’t see for himself. He had to settle in what he saw in himself.”

Hearing this statement stood out the most. Suddenly I had a memory I thought I’d never had to think about after watching a Tik-Tok video that stumbled onto my For You page.. The title of the video was “If you’re wondering why men ruin relationships for someone who is not at your level, this is why.”

My very first relationship with Matthew. It was a beautiful relationship that grew to Dangerously in Love. We were very passionate with one another that we grew together during High School which turned into a fucking nightmare. 

It was so toxic to the point we wanted to leave each other but we were in love with each other. In hopes we can go back to what we started together. Toxic lovers that needed each other. 

I was trying to find love in someone to build my own version representation of love pouring out of me. My home life turned toxic, built up anger, heartbreaks, sacrifices etc when a household gets tough for my parents starting a new life in a new country finally together. At this very moment I admit I never thought of it in this perspective when it comes to my parents POV. It makes me feel guilty for being a spoiled brat this whole time due to the fact my trauma runs so deep within me that it’s just my walking actions repeating the parasitic behavior. 

Going back to my first relationship.. we both were jealous when other’s had our attention and protective of keeping potential threats from someone who may had interests in us. For a period we were a power couple to others until things slowly turned to the opposite. I was running away from my home because I hated being strapped down at home and do nothing. I was so adventurous and young... like every young teen goes through when they’re in love with someone giving and wanting from each other. My Air sign with his Fire sign, we endlessly fed each other in order for our elements to fuse into each other and burn. 

So young to the point we suffocated each other, close in contact but distant internally. At times it felt like a saw going back and forth unknowingly cutting through chains weighing us down. 

“I’d rather have you hurt me than see you go”

When he brought up about needing space I just knew it was his way of slowing breaking up. To me it’s either be with me or not at all, there was no pause in between. He stopped showing interest and I found out he was talking to other girls just to get over me. I battled with trusting others and I trusted him and all I did was give and I only asked just to be loved properly. I was addicted to the love he gave and I wanted more each time. I cried so much feeling like I didn’t matter or was respected enough for him to do that when I focused on myself, be around my friends more and didn’t have interest with other guys. It took some time accepting to move forward to be happy if he needed space for himself. 

I picked myself up realizing those around me stayed but respected my time with him. I felt like shit, realizing I was that shitty friend that left them because I was engulfed in my relationship. My grades slowly started to get better, I was enjoying my Junior year in High School and I started to meet new people such as my classmate who happened to be my middle school crush. HA, it was a nerve wrecking moment. Still heartbroken at the fact Matthew left me to talk to other girls which made me jealous but accepted he didn’t need me anymore. So i moved forward with my life. Peter and I started to talk, Matthew didn’t like that one bit.. 

The only reason we started to get close was because our Marine Biology teacher, Mr. Rueda, seated us together, next to each other. My heart was racing so fast and I’ve never felt this way before. Matt was popping in my head at times out of guilt thinking if I did anything with Peter or even had feelings, I’m just cheating.. but then got reminded he’s doing everything else with other girls and Peter was the only guy that shared he cared for me as a classmate, a friend and someone who has interest in me this whole time. He respected me enough to have boundaries, hugged me when I needed comfort, instead of crying outloud into my pillow, he would just hug me and let me cry into his chest and yelled. 

He embraced me because he was the only one to hear me cry for help inside. My grades started to get better because we studied together. I learned how to drive manually, tried things I’ve never experienced like learning a new culture, his love for animals, put others before him, family oriented, and in his words “I put my heart on both sleeves” “I know you’re running away from the hurt but let me be the reason your heart heals and everything else.” 

biiiitch my heart exploded, I slowly felt love healing me, my mind, body and soul. When I thought things were getting better for me, Matthew decides to catch up with me and he saw how happy I’ve become and looked healthier (lost weight). He started to cry because he said he messed up and he thought he was better off without me. In my point of view, the girls he was trying to talk to probably didn’t have interest in him or got tired of using him etc he was trying to get me back and I was so dumb to let him back in. Matthew hated himself but hated Peter more. He turned crazy stalking me, asking others to keep an eye on me at my high school, coming to Peter’s home with a bat ready to hurt both of us. I felt disturbed by this and he fucked with my mental stability. I thought I was the problem but he was too. 

There was so much lying, trust issues and instability. 

Did I lose someone who could have made my life better? Yes, but this was my journey and my lesson to go through on my own. I own up to my actions knowing we both were toxically in love with one another. I forgive you Matthew for hurting me and I hope you forgive me for hurting you too. We didn’t robbed each other of our youth, we were just teens falling in love for the first time and we just gave to each other the way we knew how to love. 

It was just hard for us to let go because of the “what ifs” “I could change” and the two words that we needed to hear. “I’m sorry.”

It was a beautiful relationship that led to a dangerous level.

[less-than-three-3]

god of PEAK

[𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐁𝐔𝐙𝐙𝐄𝐑]

PEAK of war?   [𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐁𝐔𝐙𝐙𝐄𝐑]

god of war (twenty eight-pea-   [𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐁𝐔𝐙𝐙𝐄𝐑]

this was funnier in my head anyways I beat god of war (2018) in like a week this shit sucked me in and did not let me go I was enthralled. I totally get the GOTY and GOAT claims. Is it my favorite of all time? ....I’ll think about it more and more. But the fact that it has me entirely rethinking my entire top 5 is super telling. 

tldr buy and play this fucking game. I might get a playstation just for ragnarok (and I guess hfw, and spider-man 2, and bloodborne). it’s THAT good. it’s so good I didn’t mind using epic games launcher for it!! Full braindump below, spoiler warning.

Alright where do I even start with this? This is a perfect game, it dragged me in and left me begging for more. I find that those two are one and the same to me, the last time I was so plugged into a game was Fallen Order, and before that was Triangle Strategy in recent memory. It’s so hard to find a game that genuinely feels flawless. Yet, even compared to those, I felt that GoW surpassed even what I previously considered to be “perfect” in many aspects. This might just be recency bias, but I have no qualms at least putting it up there in my top few games.

The biggest example of that is definitely the character writing. I previously wrote about how much I loved the characters in games like Spider-Man and Fallen Order, but Kratos and Atreus, despite being so much more godly than Peter or Cal, had arcs that just felt so human. And it not only affects their like internal monologue, or the plot progression, but the entire character performance and their interactions. For Atreus it might feel a little on the nose, and if there’s anything anyone has to complain about, I would probably bet it’d be angsty Atreus being a little... much. But he’s a kid for gods’ sake! It felt uncomfortably accurate. But Atreus is basically learning about the world and literally world-changing information and I felt like his growth was very clear. He shows growing maturity, explicitly and implicitly. 

But the person really growing is Kratos, alongside his son. Clearly regret-ridden, grief-stricken, and figuring out how to save his son from his own (and, apparently, most gods’) fate, he tackles the world’s hardest problems of how to be a dad. He’s essentially a traumatized war vet with a son asking every question in the book and glorifying war, with a good ol’ heaping serving of generational trauma and cycle of abuse. He is, at all times, diametrically opposed with Freya, who is protective of those she cares about to a fault. At the beginning he feels callous, cold, unloving. But by the end you realize that he isn’t a monster, he’s legitimately trying to love and protect his son, and though he needs a good amount of guidance and... some extenuating circumstances, he has a great point, and it’s just really hard to properly strike the balance. I still wouldn’t call him a great father but you understand the issue he faces and the mistakes he’s made and that, in the end, he does not know. On the other hand, Freya, who remains so adamantly protective of her child despite everything, can’t see the harm she’s done and will continue to perpetuate in being overprotective... literally. What is this, some kind of direct allegory?

And despite all this, their arcs aren’t just closed and sealed shut. They’re still growing as people, and you can feel that their learning as people aren’t done. Not just because Ragnarok approaches, but because there is just still a lot left unsaid. But at the same time, it felt complete? Despite the fact that the climax did not boil to the same kind of gutting, brutal decisions like in Spider-Man (those still fucking hurt), or an epic finale like in Fallen Order, the characters’ journey felt complete, but I wanted more. It just felt like the end of Act 1, not the end of the story. Cory Barlog you clever bastard.

Also, obligated to say, Christopher Judge and Sunny Suljic absolutely killed it. They deserve all the praise in the world.

Combat and gameplay was phenomenal. For the record I played on the more challenging mode (Give me a challenge?). I was kind of worried it’d sorta be a mashfest but no it was genuinely pretty awesome. Every hit and move felt super impactful, every option is viable, there is a lot of direction for building your playstyle but it’s not overwhelming. The Valkyries were fucking awesome bosses and I wish there was more of that, but I get why that kind of boss isn’t a required boss in this kind of game. After Yakuza and Spider-Man which had good enough combat but nothing to write home about, I started thinking that maybe I am genuinely just Platinum-pilled when it comes to combat but no, other studios can absolutely get to that level too (Platinum remains on top though). The only tiny tiny gripes I have about the overall gameplay is just that I wish I would zoom faster lol like climbing and running could definitely have been *faster* but I am like brainrotted or something it’s not a particularly serious complaint it was fine.

And before I forget, I know people have complained about the music being like “generic epic” music or whatever but like idk out of every game I think fucking Kratos deserves the epic ass music alright? (I may have said this exact thing about spider-man... lol) The vocal performances are incredible, and while yes the instrumentation isn’t exactly breaking new boundaries like in some of my favorite soundtracks, it’s still damn good at setting placement, tension, and delivering high energy. It’s one of those dilemmas where it’s like it’s not really trying new things but what it delivers it executes and places very well. Not a goated OST by any means, but I think deserving of high praise for sure. Let’s see what it was up against in 2018.....

oh. octopath traveler. yeah now that’s a soundtrack. didn’t win though because the game awards panel is full of HACKS

Anyways before I just ramble about how incredible the octopath soundtrack is I’ll end this off by just reiterating that this game is absolutely a must play for anyone, whether or not you’re interested. You must play this. It is required reading. There is a reason it is regarded as one of the gold standards of the current gaming industry. Absolutely phenomenal game. I can’t wait to eventually play Ragnarok.

[bythehearts]

The Afterlife of Regulus Black :)

oh my poor little neglected child…

so for context, for anyone who hasn’t been here very long, this was like the first fic I decided to write when I started getting properly back into fic writing, which was… a year ago? yeah, so, umh, I still have not, in fact, wrote it, or like, wrote enough consecutive scenes to make up a chapter lmao, but I have actually quite a few bits that I can share. So because it has been so long I’m going to give both a bit of the concept and a long-ish snippet.

As far as the concept, if that title did not give it away, it’s a fic that is basically Regulus in the Afterlife that observes what’s going on with his family, his old friends, his brother and his friends (i don’t think there’s going to be any past jegulus, but maybe this might change if I feel like the plot needs it) (I say this like this fic has actually any plot). It’s mostly a Regulus-centric fic, it’s his perspective on canon events, but as i said, the plot is very loose except for, well, the canon plot, but even that is barely hinted cause i’m running on the assumption that the reader does know the canon-events and it’s just giving Regulus’ imput on them, but they won’t be heavily described in any way. The main idea behind it is (1) to give the perspective of various characters on canon events, and (2) to explore all those closures that never happened and never could happen because of the circumstances they were in.

Okay, here’s the very unedited snippet, which, ironically enough it’s one of the few that is not actually from Regulus’ pov, but James’:

It had never occurred to James before, how angry he was, or that he had every right to be or even that, in all honesty, he definitely should have been.

It’s not like he hadn’t thought about it, about how terrible what Peter did was. He had thought about it a lot, actually.

He thought about it every time he heard his best friend scream or silently cry in his cell.

He had thought about it every time he had seen his son hit a new milestone that he wasn’t going to celebrate with him.

Had thought about it even more every time he saw Petunia send him to bed without dinner or lunch or breakfast for days on end, or Vernon violently drag him to the broom closet, or Dudley verbally abusing him.

He thought about how that should’ve never happened to his own son, how James should have been there to love and protect him.

But he couldn’t.

Because he was dead.

James was dead, and it was Peter’s fault.

James was dead because the person he had trusted to protect him, didn’t.

So, yes, he had thought about it. Yet, it wasn’t until that moment, the moment he locked eyes with the man that betrayed him,that he felt all of that anger build up inside him, asking — no, screaming — to be let out. And Peter apparently just felt like giving him an excuse.

“Prongs, old friend,” he said, with all the duplicity James never knew he possessed, grin wide and widened eyes “You wouldn’t hold against a dead man that little incident of ours, would you?”

“Wouldn’t hold it—?” Honestly, James can only laugh at that, though that laugh it’s probably the bitterest it’s ever been, only a ghost of what his warm laugh normally sounds like.

Then, suddenly, all humour vanished from his face and his eyes lock on Peter. He takes a few, steady steps towards him, with such rage exuding from his body that it has everyone around him go alert, as if ready to intervene, which actually James thinks it’s a bit dramatic. I mean, what do they think he’s gonna do? Kill him?

Eventually, it’s that thought that James chooses to vocalize. “You’re lucky you’re dead, Pettigrew” he says as he settles only centimeters from his face, “because you have no idea what I would actually do had you not been”

Peter just stands there and holds his gaze, as if awaiting a final sentence. After all, isn’t that what they say death is all about? James wants to just walk away, really he does, he wishes he could hold back that much.

But he doesn’t.

Holding back was never his strong suit.

So he does throw a punch on Peter’s nose.

Sure, he knows it doesn’t hurt Peter, something about not having a body apparently makes it hard to feel pain, but it doesn’t matter. That punch was more for James than it was for Peter, anyway.

Right so :)) hope you liked this little sneak peek.