#double blind: tony

[tinystepsforward]

autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)

I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.

If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.

the background

So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.

FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:

Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;

Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;

Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.

the WordPress ecosystem

A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.

Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)

Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.

There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.

Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.

Matt being Matt, tech being tech

As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)

But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.

ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening

WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.

There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.

Sep 17

Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.

Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?

(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)

Sep 20 (WCUS final day)

WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.

Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.

He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.

For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr

Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:

“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt

He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.

Sep 21

Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.

He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.

The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)

Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:

Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash

TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers

Sep 23 onward

Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.

Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.

Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.

WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.

Twitter link | Direct PDF link

This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.

Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.

He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.

Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.

Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"

At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.

Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.

Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.

anyway this fucking sucks

This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".

Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)

I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.

So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.

Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.

And people don't want to deal with any of this.

The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.

But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.

Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.

[vesearlee]

──── 𝑵𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂 𝑾𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝑴𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

Time was something precious. It could never be stopped in the cycle it remained loyal to, just as your devotion to him could be questioned — only evident by the small bloom that caught the sun’s rays, steadfast and unmelting in the warmth of it. 

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ── Zayne x F!Reader 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 ── 965 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 ── Fluff, Zayne and his workaholic tendencies 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐀 ── @sgt-seabass 𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 ── Éphémère by Tony Anderson 𝐀𝐎𝟑 ── HERE 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ── I did not tear up writing this, I swear. HE JUST DESERVES ALL OF THE SOFTNESS! also, my first post in an entirely new fandom, not to mention the most I have written in months. oh boy.

─── 𝑳𝑨𝑫𝑺 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ───

It was a rare occurrence that you had a day off — the schedule of both your work and commitments on hold for one singular day so you could recoup and recover some much needed vitality, but naturally, there would always be a hitch in your plans to lounge in bed and catch up on some needed binging. 

The hitch himself strode proudly at a pace that had you walking just behind his shoulder. The fabric of his coat sleeve was cool in your palm as you held the inner crook of his elbow while he led you through corridor after corridor, the atmosphere of the administration level of the hospital bustling and loud as the day began before the sun even rose over the horizon of Linkon City. 

“Chief.” 

“Doctor.” 

“Sir.” 

Greetings and inclinations of respect from the staff were answered with courteous nods from your company; followed by a small smile from you when their gazes inevitably drifted towards you, many of which were returned with shy waves of hello. 

You looked at his profile and smirked slightly. “You know, Dr. Zayne–” He rolled his eyes. “You could smile at them.” 

“If you wish.” Zayne’s expression turned impassive as he pointedly ignored and walked around a gathering flock of interns, all of who looked awestruck at seeing the chief of surgery with their very own eyes. 

Behind you, they tittered and watched on as you kept pace with him. “I can see it now,” you continued to tease, “they’ll all flock around you and fawn—just what you want, isn’t it?”

His elbow moved and squeezed your hand against his side. “Sure.” The familiar and wide, wood-pannelled door of his office came into view. 

You giggled quietly at Zayne’s reply, knowing full well if you were not in public, he would be making you pay for teasing him. The click of the door opening drew your attention, and he gestured you inside wordlessly. 

It was an expansive space, the outer wall opposite to the door was roof to half-wall glass that ended on a broad shelf. Trinkets of all sizes from his travels were neatly lined or stacked on the surface, and plants in decorative pots glowed orange with the rays of the morning sun that hid behind a blind. 

Soft footsteps followed behind you and towards Zayne’s desk. The room was suddenly bathed in light as the blinds opened, and Zayne cleared his throat as he set down his briefcase atop one of the few cabinets beneath the window. 

Moving towards the plush double couch in the corner of the room, you placed your bag next to the adjacent marble coffee table, humming a tune quietly while you listened to Zayne prepare for his rounds. 

The bookshelf to the right of the couch where you would lounge for the day was stained black, and the white sets of books stood out starkly from the contrast, when your gaze found a small, glass jar you had never noticed before. It was a sweet, new addition to the shelf, and it was almost inconspicuous. 

Except from the singular Jasmine bloom encased in ice. 

You could only smile softly while tears pricked at the corner of your eyes. Knowing full well that it was you who gave it to him as a token of affection when you both were only young. “After all this time, you kept it?” you asked quietly, not turning to look at Zayne. 

“Yes,” he answered after a brief pause. His voice was reverent, and you could hear the longing in his tone. “It remains there so when I see it, I am always reminded of you.”

Silence fell at his statement, and you blinked away the slight burn in your eyes. Who knew he was so sentimental, you joked internally. 

“You should stop working so much.” Your words sounded slightly strained, and you coughed once to clear your throat, careful to keep your back to Zayne as you continued to stare at the flower. “If you did,” you continued, “we could have stayed in bed. Maybe even had breakfast in bed, with croissants, macaroons.”

Zayne chuckled and sighed, then you felt his gaze on your back. You turned to face him, pouting slightly. “I’m just saying! Being a workaholic–”

“If I remember correctly,” Zayne interrupted, and your mouth closed on a retort. “You were the one that insisted on spending the day with me, even when I assured you it would bore you beyond belief while waiting for me to be done.” A small black pen, a singular frosted glass bead on the end, was tucked into his coat pocket with a small huff of laughter. “You very well knew that I would be busy today.”

You lifted your chin in defiance. “Yes, I did. I don’t care if I bore myself to tears because at least I would be with you.” A pause. “Even if you’re in and out, I don’t care.”

A slight smile, barely there, graced his lips, and his eyes shone in the now yellowing light from the sun’s rays. “Ever so stubborn.” 

“And so what if I am?”

Zayne’s coat rustled as he adjusted it over his shoulders, his gaze never leaving yours. The tag attached to the chest pocket proudly blazed Chief Surgeon and Cardiology in bold text. “Well, there is truly only one thing to say.” He sidestepped his desk and walked towards you. “It means you are my ever stubborn darling, hmm?”

“That’s what I thought,” you huffed, crossing your arms. 

“Keep yourself entertained, darling,” Zayne said quietly, his thumb and forefinger gripping your chin. “I will stop in when I can—how does lunch sound?”

You nodded, and then felt the soft brush of Zayne’s lips on your forehead. “I will see you soon.”

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ── Multifandom Bingo (@multifandom-flash) ⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄ Tears of Awe ── MASTERLIST ── Under The Sea Bingo (@seasonaldelightsbingo) ⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄ Soft Love ── MASTERLIST ── Medical Edition Bingo (@fandom-free-bingo) ⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄ Whispered Sweet Nothings • N5 ── MASTERLIST

[reigningqueenofwords]

That's How You Know

Pairing: Tony x Reader Word count: 4,003

Read on AO3

You leaned your head on Nat’s shoulder, the two of you watching some comedy in an effort to cheer you up. You’d broken up with your long time boyfriend just the day before. And it sucked. The two of you had been together most of your twenties. Now, at 28, you were nursing a broken heart, eating a pint of ice cream, and cuddling your super-spy best friend. 

“Miss, Mr. Stark is inquiring if you’d like take out from your favorite restaurant for dinner this evening.” Came JARVIS’s voice. 

Hearing that, you smiled softly. “Tell him yes, and thank you.” You agreed easily. 

Nat smirked at you. “You know he loves you, right?” She pointed out. “I mean, it’s really obvious.” She chuckled. “He just never actually said it because you were dating that asshat.” 

You shifted to look at her. “What the hell are you talking about?” You asked, confused. “A- Tony doesn’t love me, and B- he wasn’t an asshat until the last like...month.” You muttered in defence of your ex. 

“You are so blind. And he clearly thinks we are, too.” She was amused. “Look, I’d tell you to just go kiss the man, but I’ll be nice and let you get over your ex before pushing you together and going ‘now kiss’.” She smirked, making you stare at her. “You’ll see.” She said confidently. “Now, let’s finish this movie.” 

It had been six months since that conversation with Nat, and you’d pushed it from your mind. However, you were out with her, Wanda, and Pepper, which meant drinks. It made it difficult not to think about the handsome inventor. Just as you were thinking of him, your phone went off. 

Nat looked over your shoulder and smirked. “Awe, he’s worried about you!” She chuckled as you playfully shoved her away. “He is seriously texting you just to tell you that you’re on his mind, but he wanted a reason, so he pulled the ‘be safe’ card.” She downed another shot. “And, you’re right. That would be a warning for some pour perv to mess with any of us.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever.” You put your phone away, going back to your drink. 

“So, who’s the mystery man?” Wanda grinned. “Do we know him? Oh! Is it that cute agent?” You raised an eyebrow at her. There were a few cute agents. “I think his name is Paul? Such an unsexy name for such a nice face.” She mumbled. “Spill the beans.” 

You were about to shut this entire conversation down when Nat spoke up. “It’s Tony.” She said easily. “He’s had it bad for her for years.” She went on, making you put your head on the table. “She doesn’t believe it, but she’s the only one who got a ‘be safe’ text.” Nat chuckled, licking her lips. “And I see someone I’d like to be bad with tonight. Excuse me, ladies!” She slipped out of her chair and towards whoever had caught her eye. 

Pepper rubbed over your shoulders. “Want me to get us some shots? Since Nat drank them all?” She chuckled. 

Sitting up, you sighed, nodding. “Sure, I need one. Or five.” You shrugged. You didn’t want to believe Tony loved you. You didn’t want to admit you loved him, either. So, you’d get a bit drunk, and then go back to forgetting about it the next day. 

Walking into your kitchen a couple weeks later, you were wearing an oversized sweater and leggings. It was a cold fall day, the skies were grey, and you planned on curling up with a book, and a cup of coffee. You had to do a double take. There, on your kitchen island, was a bouquet of sunflowers. That had not been there the night before. Walking to the table, you lifted the note that was placed in front of it. 

I know you hate days like this. Here’s some flowers to brighten your day. 

-Tony

You blushed, biting your lip. Once you set the note down, you went over to your coffee maker and decided you’d thank him by bringing him a cup. “JARVIS, is Tony in his labs?” You asked as you brewed your cup first. This way his would be hotter by the time you got to him. 

“Yes, Miss. Do you need his assistance?” He asked. 

“No, tell him I’ll be down shortly, though?” 

Tony looked up when you walked in. His face lit up as he took the mug you held out for him. “Thank you for the flowers.” You smiled, leaning against a table. “I was not expecting those.” You chuckled before sipping your drink. 

“Well, when I saw the sky, I knew you’d like them.” He shrugged a shoulder as if it was something just anyone would do. “And I remember you like sunflowers.” You’d told him once before when telling him a story about your life growing up. “And, you’re welcome.” He smiled. “Thank you for the coffee.” He held his mug up slightly for a moment. “I need it. Working on this damn bug.” He sighed. 

You giggled, shaking your head. “I’ll let you get back to that.” You told him. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.” 

He nodded. “Enjoy your book.” He smirked when you looked at him. “You’re going to crack your sliding glass door, curl up under the blanket I got you last year for Christmas, and read.” He teased.

You were just kicking off your boots after working on your Christmas shopping when your phone went off. You were assuming it was Nat, asking you to come to girl’s night, or to watch a movie. It was Saturday night, after all. However, your eyebrows shot up at it being Tony. 

Letting out a sigh, you removed your coat and made your way back out of your door. Minutes later, you found yourself knocking on Nat’s. “Well, it wasn’t a break up, what’s that face for?” She raised an eyebrow, letting you in. 

“Tony.” You shrugged as she shut the door. “Apparently, he wants me to be his plus one at some event. He’s known for two months, and it’s next Friday. He asked me today. Well, like, less than half an hour ago.” 

“Yeah, we’re all going.” Nat shrugged. “Next Friday is his Christmas benefit for the kids.” She teased. “Did you honestly forget?” She laughed. 

You blushed. “I’m sorry, I was too busy being shocked that he was asking me on a date.” You admitted. “At least I already have my dress then.” You noted. “Well, I’m here, want to watch a movie before I head home and start wrapping presents?” You asked. 

She shrugged. “Sure, as long as you tell me what you got Tony.” She smirked. 

“I haven’t gotten his yet. What the hell do you get the man that has everything?! Or could build it, or buy it.” You half whined as the two of you moved to get comfortable. 

“Lingerie?” She asked. 

“I never pegged him for the type of guy to wear that…” You mused, thinking it over. He was over the top, so you could honestly see it now that you thought about it. 

Nat burst into laughter. “NO!” She was doubled over. “And it’s even funnier because you said ‘pegged’.” She wiped a tear from her cheek from laughing so hard. “No, I meant YOU wear it, and slap a bow on your ass. Pretty sure that would be what he wants.” She nudged you as your face turned a bright red. 

“….Oh.” You managed.

Tony’s hand was on your lower back, his other hand holding yours. The pair of you were dancing, and there was a twinkle in his eye. “So, Nat is the one who pointed out that I already knew about tonight.” You blushed, making him chuckle. “She thought it was amusing. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

He shrugged a shoulder. “I thought it was cute. I made you so flustered that you forgot.” He smirked. 

“Oh, really? And what if it’s because I had a long day of Christmas shopping for a super-spy, a super soldier, and an archer? Fully knowing my shopping wasn’t done yet.” You asked, an amused look on your face. 

He gasped playfully. “And not the child-like billionaire?” He asked. 

“Still trying to figure out what to get him.” You smiled. “It’ll come to me.” You promised. 

Holding you close, he nodded. “I’m sure it will. Well, I’m done all my Christmas shopping, and I am sure that you will love your present.” He told you. “Nat helped.” He laughed as your face fell, turning pale. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” He grinned. 

“So mean.” You leaned your head on his chest. 

Minutes later, Steve came over. “May I cut it?” He asked. 

You looked at him. “Sure, but I’m not sure which one of you would lead.” You chuckled. 

“Funny, doll.” He smiled as he took your hand, causing Tony to pout. “Hey, Clint still wants a dance, so does Bucky, Thor, and Sam…” He teased the poor inventor, pulling you into his arms. “You look beautiful tonight.” He told you as Tony excused himself. “And he’s too easy to mess with.” 

“Thank you. And he really is.” You giggled. “It’ll be even more fun come New Year’s when he’s drinking.” You smirked. “Then he’s really easy to get to.” You thought back to the previous year when, once he was drunk, you’d managed to convince him that he’d let you borrow his favorite car. And then ‘lost’ it. It didn’t last long, but his face was priceless. 

Steve laughed, nodding. “Hopefully we get more pictures this year.” 

“I’m sure we will.” You figured that Nat would be taking some to ‘prove’ that Tony was in love with you.

Much to your dismay, a mission came up. 

On Christmas Eve. 

Part of you expected Tony to pout, if you were being honest. Him, or Clint. Both were like giant children. Sitting on the Quinjet, you were talking with Wanda. While Steve got serious, some of you just relaxed, and others made a point to have a good time. Who knew if there’d be a mission someone didn’t come home from? Why make your last memories of them anything but happy?

Bucky nudged you. “Hey, doll?” He asked, making you look over. “You do most of the decorating, right?” 

“Yeah, why?” You chuckled. “I have for years, but I ask you guys for help as needed. You know that.” You teased. 

“Have you ever thought about putting stuff up in the Quinjet?” He was curious. “In case something like this happens. Why not make it festive in here, too?” 

You thought about it for a minute. “I never thought about it. When I’m decorating for Christmas, the last thing on my mind is possibly deadly missions with my friends.” You shrugged. “I mean, I can try to remember next year?” You offered. 

“It’s okay, I was honestly just curious. You’re like the elf of the tower.” He smirked. “It’s cute.” He winked. Nat smirked at him, shaking her head. She knew he was only doing it because Tony was close by. “I haven’t seen any mistletoe. Did you skip it this year?” 

Bucky was all over the place it seemed, making you stare at him for a moment. “Uh, thanks?” You replied, unsure. “And you don’t remember when poor Steve had to kiss almost all of us? In the course of maybe two days? I thought I’d be nice and let him have a break from lip locking this year.” You chuckled as you saw Steve blush and hide his face. He had indeed kissed nearly everyone the year before. And he’d been sober for them all! 

Tony looked over. “Who’s didn’t he end up kissing?” He asked, having been one of those that he had. 

You put your hand up. “Me, and I think Bruce?” You told him. “I only kissed Nat, Bucky, and Clint.” You thought back. 

Nat stuck her tongue out at him, teasing him that she’d kissed you and he hadn’t. “Shame you didn’t put them up again, I would have found a way to get you underneath the mistletoe again.” She winked at you playfully when you looked at her. 

“Me, too.” Bucky admitted. 

“And me.” Clint chimed in, even though no one knew that he was paying attention. He had his eyes closed, legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles, and his fingers laced together on his chest. “Especially with that body spray she only wears in the winter.” He added. 

You chuckled. “You mean the one that smells like cupcakes?” You asked. It was received for once the snow started to fall, and was put away once it was over. Cupcakes reminded you of baking with your dad as a kid, and you’d always make cupcakes. So, it was a nice reminder when the days got shorter, and colder. 

“You pay attention to her body spray?” Tony asked, surprised. 

Before Clint could answer, JARVIS let them know they’d be arriving in under two minutes. 

Your back was to a wall, your breathing coming out ragged. This was not as easy of a mission as you’d been hoping for. At the moment, you were actually hiding- not your proudest moment, either. Your leg had been shot, you had a split lip, you were sure you were sporting a shiner, and your shirt was sticking to you with blood. Some of it was yours, some of it wasn’t. You tried to push that thought from your mind as you closed your eyes. You nearly jumped when you heard Steve in your comm. “Y/N? You’re the only one not accounted for at the meetup.” His voice was firm, but the worry was there. 

Clenching your jaw, you replied. “Yeah, uh, about that.” You started. “Seems I got a bit…injured…in the process of taking some guys out.” You hissed as you pressed against your leg. 

It was Tony’s voice you heard next. “How bad is it? Can you get to us?” He asked quickly. 

You sagged. “No, I can’t.” You hated having to rely on them during missions. You wanted to be able to hold your own. “I got shot in the thigh for starters.” You leaned your head back against a wall. 

“For starters?!” Came a few voices, but you couldn’t pin point them all. 

“Can one of you just come get me before I pass out?” You asked, pain radiating from your wounds. “That would be great!” 

“On my way, doll.” Bucky spoke up. “Keep talking to me.” He told you, hoping to distract you from your pain. “Let me know where you are.” 

You sighed. “Alright.” You agreed before telling him where to find you.

The rest of the team waited in the quinjet while Bucky rushed to get to you. They had moved from the meet up point before he’d left them, so that he knew where to find them. Tony kept  his eyes on the entrance, jaw tight. “She’ll be fine.” Wanda told him. “It was her thigh. If anything, she’ll have to relax for a bit.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’ll ask her if she wants a movie marathon.” 

“She’s in pain, Wanda.” He reminded her. “Bad enough she was worrying about passing out. That doesn’t sound fine to me.” He sighed, not looking at her. “At all.” 

No one else bothered to try to calm him down, knowing it was useless. Until he saw you, he’d be worried. Then, it would shift to worry about you healing. People getting injured on missions was nothing new. It happened. They all knew that it bothered him so much more because it was you. 

Once he spotted Bucky,  you in his arms, he relaxed the tiniest bit. Your head was against Bucky’s shoulder, and your eyes were closed. “She passed out about halfway here.” He said softly, moving to lay you down. “Used my shirt as a tourniquet.” He explained, noting the raised eyebrow Nat was shooting his way. “I would have used hers, but…” He sighed, motioning to your blood stained shirt. 

“JARVIS, get us home.” Tony demanded, watching Bruce start to work on you. He cut your shirt up the middle, showing that your stomach wounds weren’t as bad as the shirt made it look. That was a minor comfort to him, though. The worst of it was a gash closest to the top of your pants. Letting out a sigh, he hoped they could get you more comfortable back at the tower. 

Groaning, you slowly opened your eyes to see Tony sitting there in a Y/F/C shirt. “When’d you get that?” You asked, licking  your dry lips. 

He looked up, grinning. “Uh, I had Nat go get it for me.” He chuckled. “Last night, while you were still out. I know it’s your favorite color.” He moved to sit on the side of your bed. “How’re you feeling?” He asked, taking your hand. 

“Like I got hit by a bus.” You told him honestly. “I didn’t think I was that bad.” You admitted. 

“I think that’s the drugs he gave you.” He shrugged. “The ‘good’ stuff.” He winked. “It’ll ease up, I’m sure.” He assured you. “Oh, and Wanda is currently finding nearly every Disney movie she can find.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “She thought it would be fun to have a movie marathon, and for some reason, she has her heart set on Disney.” He chuckled. 

You smiled. “She’s sweet.” You said softly. “Can I count on you to join us for a couple?” You asked shyly. 

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” He promised you, kissing your forehead. “Now, I’ll let Bruce check you out while I go order dinner.” He got up. “My place, or here?” He teased. 

“Depends on what the doctor says.” You chuckled. “See you for dinner.”

Bruce had said it was okay for you to leave, but walking wasn’t happening. That left you to either use a wheelchair, or be carried. You couldn’t use crutches, as that would stretch your stomach, and that would pull on the stitches on your lower stomach. You’d gone with the wheelchair (even if Bucky and Steve volunteered to carry you). 

Rolling out of the elevator onto Tony’s floor, you smiled when you saw Pepper. “Hey.” You greeted her. 

She turned. “Y/N!” She smiled. “I’m so glad you’re okay. Tony told me what happened.” She said, coming over to hug you. “How’re you feeling?” She asked gently. 

“Well, I’m not in a ‘hospital’ bed anymore, so much better.” You joked. “Oh, since I don’t know when we’re doing the whole Christmas exchange thing, you can go get your present? I know you go see family, too.” You smiled. “My presents are in a box on my living room floor. Yours is in a medium sized box.” 

“I think I’d rather wait to do mine with everyone else.” She told you. “Even if it’s not until after the New Year. You guys are my family, too.” She reminded you. 

Tony came in, making you attempt to turn your wheelchair. “I hate this thing.” You muttered, getting stuck half way. 

“Pepper, can you roll her to the living room?” He asked, hands full of food. “I’ll get everything set up.” He told her, smiling. 

She nodded, getting behind you. “I know you’d rather roll yourself, but don’t argue.” She said before you could say you could do it yourself. When you sighed, she chuckled, and started pushing you. “Looks cozy in here.” She looked around. Tony had a blanket and pillows in front of the fire place. 

“Thanks, Pepper.” He said, putting everything down. “I can take it from here.” He moved over to hug her. “Merry Christmas.” He smiled. 

“Merry Christmas. Both of you.” She hugged him back before waving to you. 

“Merry Christmas.” You waved. Once she was gone, you smiled at Tony. “So, dinner by a fire?” You asked shyly. “I’ll need help getting down there.” You pointed out. 

He moved over to gently lift you out of your chair. “Of course.” He got you settled on a pillow before getting the food. “What would you like to drink?” He asked, taking things out of the bags. 

“Well, Bruce still has me on pain killers. So, soda?” You chuckled. 

“One Y/F soda coming up.” He said easily, going to get a drink for each of you. He hoped that you weren’t weirded out by him trying to show you how much he cared about you. 

Sitting on the couch, your leg over Wanda’s lap as you finished up The Little Mermaid. “What’s next?” You asked her, as she was the one who had set this up. 

“Enchanted.” She smiled. “It doesn’t get enough credit for being amazing.” She said quickly. “It’s one of my favorites.” She popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

You had to admit, you saw why this was a favorite. It had you giggling, and you loved Pip. “Okay, Pip is the best.” You grinned. 

“Right?” She agreed easily. “He was my text tone for awhile.” She chuckled. 

When ‘That’s How You Know’ came on, you started to listen and your jaw dropped. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.” You gasped. 

“What?” She paused it, looking at you confused. “What’s wrong?” 

You looked at her. “Tony’s done all that!” You stared at her. “Literally. I don’t even think he’d know, as I can’t see him watching this.” You explained. “A couple months ago? He left me a note and sunflowers because it was dreary out. He asked me to that Christmas ball thing and danced with me as much as he could. When I woke up after the mission? He was wearing my favorite color shirt. And then when I got out? He got us dinner…which we ate in front of the fire in his living room.” You grabbed your phone to text him. 

You stared at your phone. “Hey, can you help me back into my chair? I need to go see Tony.” You swallowed, looking at her. 

She smiled and gently moved your leg. “Yeah, I think I can do that.” She nodded.

Hearing the elevator to his labs, he looked over to see you rolling in. “So…” You said shyly. “You love me?” You asked him. 

“Yeah, I do.” He smiled. “Have for awhile.” He shrugged, setting his phone down before making his way to you. “Thought you were mad or something.” He blushed lightly, a look that you weren’t used to seeing on him. 

“No wonder my phone was going off so much.” You teased. “I’m not mad, Tony.” You promised him. “Not even close.” You grinned up at him. “I love you, too.” You admitted softly. “I just don’t think it really hit me until that damn song.” You giggled. 

He crouched so you didn’t have to look up at him anymore. “So, can I take you on a real date?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Once I can walk.” You chuckled. “A wheelchair in New York? I give major props to anyone who is can do that. I, however, don’t think I’d last more than five minutes before I want to hurt someone.” You admitted. 

“Deal.” 

“Ready for your first dance, Mrs. Stark?” Tony asked, your hand in his. 

You smiled over at him. “I’ve been ready.” You told him easily. “Let’s get out there and start this party.” You leaned over to peck his lips. 

He kissed you back. “There’s one part of that song I missed.” He pointed out, making you raised an eyebrow at him. “I never dedicated a song to you.” 

“You’re thinking of that now?” You teased. “After three years?” You asked. 

“Yup.” He laughed. “I’ll have to change that after I spin you around that dance floor.” 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Like a Stone 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, power dynamic, age gap, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Loki, Tony Stark (Professor AU)

Summary: your work as a TA is complicated by more than your advisor. (tall reader)

Part of the Bad Professors AU

Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all. 

The day begins unfortunately. You are a stickler for details but by some carelessness you end up at the wrong office. Rather than Laufeyson, you’d stumble upon Odinson and his rather stuffy office mate. If you think someone is uptight, they must be. 

Still, the mistake doesn’t set you behind. You approach the correct office door and double check the placque set in the wood. Dr. Laufeyson. Hm. One day you will wear the same title. 

You knock lightly and stand staunchly in wait. Even without your rigid posture, you are tall. You never pay that attribute much attention until someone points it out, often with a childish joke about the altitude or the like. 

You wait and when no answer comes, you knock again. 

“Yes, do come in,” the impatient bark from within tightens your muscles. Well, this is a great beginning. 

You turn the handle and let yourself in. It’s not very polite not to answer your own door. Well, he hardly has to worry about your evaluation, no, the situation is quite the opposite. And you shouldn’t be ungrateful, you fought for this opportunity. 

“Hello,” you enter and linger at the threshold, “open or shut?” 

“However, you like,” the black-haired man doesn’t look up from the book on his desk. 

“Right, Dr. Laufeyson, I believe we were scheduled to meet. I’m Primrose. Your TA for this session.” 

“Yes, yes, I’ve it all ready. The green folder there,” he gives a slight tip of his head, a gesture that puts your eyes to the corner of the desk. 

“Thank you, sir,” you approach and put your hand on the folder. “I thought maybe you’d like to go over the duties.” 

He stays as he is, shoulders curled forward, his lithe and long figure hunched over the desk, his beakish nose pointed down. Only his green eyes move. His black tresses are bushed back so the spirals cluster behind his neck. 

“They are listed inside. Along with the syllabus and what I expect of you in terms of classroom duties and lesson planning,” he remains fixated on the pages. You’re slightly irked by his indifference. 

“I understand,” you lift the folder and hold it to your chest. The buttons of your blazer press into you. “Well then... I suppose it was nice to meet you.” 

“You will send your first lesson plan tonight and I will return my feedback,” he flips the page, “no time to waste then.” 

First lesson? You withhold a blanch and nod. He isn’t very accommodating. You wouldn’t expect less given the lot of professors you’ve encountered, but you though being a TA, he might have more interest in you than some dusty tome. 

“Thank you,” you turn on your heel and bite down on your irritation. 

You pull the door shut and it isn’t until you’re alone in the hallway, that the disappointment hits you. You’re not an optimistic person. You define yourself as a pragmatist and yet, that was not what you expected.  

You've been dismissed, disposed even. If he were not effectively your boss, you might go back in and let him know just that. Yet if you did, what good would it do? Men rarely hear above their egos. 

You lower the folder to your side and march down the hallway. Your heeled boots echo around you and down the stairs of the foyer. You come out and shield your eyes against the glare reflecting off the paned walls of the engineering building. Typical, yet the arts and humanity buildings look as if they could fall to dust. 

You twist around but the light blinds you from seeing the other body headed in the opposite direction. You stagger back as the folder falls from your grasp and the papers flutter all around. You wince and quickly bend your knees to gather the mess before it can all blow away. 

A chuckle crackles in the air and you glance up at the older gentleman you ran into. 

“Apologies,” you say as you swipe up the papers, moving awkwardly with bent legs. 

“Not at all, sweetheart,” he steps on a page to keep it from riding the wind. “Here, let me help ya out.” 

He bends to shuffle a few papers into his hands and holds them out. You take them and shove them into the folder with the rest. You huff and stand. He does too. You’re taller than him and would be even without your heels. He looks up at you with a glimmer in his dark eyes. 

“Wow, glamazon, love the look, sweetheart,” he winks. 

You narrow your eyes as you take in his groomed goatee, his silvering hair along his temples, and that arrogant crooked smirk.  

“I’m not your sweetheart,” you snip. “Thank you for your help.” 

You hug the folder and sidestep him. Or try to. He moves with you and blocks your way. 

“Well, you could try being sweet,” he goads. 

You back up and look him in the face. You don’t know how to respond to that. Most men don’t bother and when they do, they get one sneer from you and run. 

“Step one, smile,” he purrs. 

Your lips curve but not upwards. You teethe the inside of your lip and lock down your anger. First Laufeyson, not this character. 

“Pardon me,” you say at last but as you try to pass, he hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you in front of him. 

“You don’t gotta be shy. You a freshman? I can show you around,” he offers. “Wanna see my office?” 

You calmly put a hand on his shoulder and shove until his arm slackens. You back up and set your chin. Your nose flares. 

“I am not a freshman and I’m not interested in old men. Good day.” 

Instead of trying to push past, you turn and stomp in the other direction. Your legs are long enough, you can outpace him. Easily. Not to mention his age. 

Just another unexpected turn. You’ll just have to go the long way. Not ideal since you have a lesson due in only a few hours. 

[workingbynyx]

hello baby I love your theme !! i saw you were doing jason todd x readers so i’m gonna shoot my shot OFC NO PRESSURE

so we all know bruce is rich so jason must be as well but WHAT IF reader also came from a rich powerful family of Gotham, I think they would maybe meet through a gala or something and Dick would joke to Jason about how he is drooling at the sight of reader IDK BABES IT’S UP TO YOU, i hope it inspires you <3

City of Stars — Jason Todd x F!Reader

↷ summary — what happens if one of the bat sons meet the striking heiress of another powerful family? ˎˊ˗

↷ pairing — jason todd x f!reader ˎˊ˗

↷ genre — romance, fluff, slight comedy and eventual angst ˎˊ˗

↷ warning/s — a few curse words here and there ˎˊ˗

↷ a/n — hey!! tysm for this prompt oml its the cutest, and ik its a bit of a cliché but reader is an heiress to stark industries here 😭 i figured it would be interesting since, contrary to popular belief, tony and bruce wouldn't get along so it offers the question what would happen if their children got together (tea 👀🍵) this isn't based on anything btw! so there might be some ooc instances. OH AND I'll probably make a part 2 of this soon if i get motivationekehwjd soooo i hope you enjoy reading! ˎˊ˗

— wayne manor, present day

bruce fixed yet another gala for the year, inviting multiple billionare ceos and business owners to the humble party. gotham city strived under the great care of his trusted partners even when crime and corruption still runs in the city. the bat took care of that of course, with the help of his sons and daughters who also attended the event in simple dresses and suits and ties tailored to their liking.

the gala had been going on for a few hours or so which eventually became boring enough for jason to take a few shots and drinks by the bar as he scanned the crowd with people in bejeweled clothes and shimmering jewelry that blinded him as the chandelier shined on them. "is all that really neccessary.." he mumbled to himself, taking a sip of his 3rd drink of the night. "yes it is, would you rather people come into sweats like you would?" dick suddenly chimed in as he walked up towards jason and leaned against the counter of the bar, asking for a drink of his choice.

"It wouldn't hurt to try next year" jason said with a stern look on his face, occassionally shooting up a short smile to people walking by. "if bruce allows it, i doubt he would. the man practically lives in a suit and tie" dick replied, "well, tough shit grayson. you might be forgetting being the rebel is sort of my thing" jason shot back with a smirk. "ah, my bad" grayson said with a chuckle as he sipped on champagne. "so, anyone caught your eye yet?" "If you mean spoiled little kids running around with chocolate smeared on their faces then yeah" jason sighed while dick suppressed a laugh. "c'mon man, there's at least gotta be someone" "dick, i didn't come here to look for 'someone' nor do i ever plan to"

and right when jason uttered those words with no remorse, he immediately swallowed them right back when he caught a glimpse of you in the crowd. the dark yellow dress you wore complimenting the red of his suit, its like a match made in gotham, as one would say. the man had to double take in your way when you slowly walked through the room with your father, tony stark. the man behind stark industries, one of the richest companies based in new york. jason knew they recently opened a branch within the city to make way for new advanced technology and scientific engineering. that was probably the reason why you're here from jason's assumption.

"i'd say otherwise" dick snuck up beside jason and whispered to taunt him, his eyes following the lady that caught his brother's attention. "..what?" the other finally said, snapping out of it. "you should go up to her instead of drooling over here, you look like a total loser dude" dick patted his shoulder which annoyed jason. "cut it out dick, i'm not going up to her" "why not?" "i have other things to tend to" "like?" "...shut up" "jason, this is your only shot. are you gonna waste it on brooding the whole night?" "i'm NOT taking any of your dating advice" "i didn't say you have to date her dipshit, what could a friendly conversation lead to?" "a can of worms, go figure" jason then started walking away from dick as soon as he sets the glass down on the counter.

"jay c'mon," dick caught up to him which released a frustrated groan from jason. "she seems like a nice woman" "you're really living up to your name right now, stop it" jason said through gritted teeth.

in other people's point of view, it looks like two grown men are silently arguing in the corner of the big hall which then caught your attention soon after. you wanted to get to know bruce's children after he warmly welcomed you and your family to gotham before they got down to talking business, it obviously lost your interest so you quietly excused yourself from the conversation to wander the mansion.

you stumbled upon one of his daughters and had a nice conversation, they didn't seem intimidating as they said they'd be— not until you went up to his sons. you mentally prepared yourself as you slowly walked over to the duo, straightening the slight wrinkles on your dress and patting down your necklace.

"uhm, hello there. i hope i'm not interrupting" you called out to them which caught their attention. dick and jason quickly arranged themselves to look presentable, even if they were just arguing seconds ago. "hey" jason said as he cleared his throat, to which you replied with a smile. "its a wonderful party, i see mr. wayne has good taste" you tried to sound polite as possible...was it even worth trying?

"yeah, definitely" dick nodded his head. "i'm richard by the way, richard grayson. but you can call me dick" "oh uhm, pardon?" "it's unusual, i know. but trust me its fine" you couldn't help but slightly giggle at his statement, he was quite the charm. jason, on the other hand, couldn't stand seeing the two of you almost get along. he had to do something if he wanted to win you over.

you then looked over to him in anticipation, "jason" he says. "jason todd" he added. "it's nice meeting you, i've heard..interesting things about you" you said as you reached out your hand for a shake as he returned the gesture. "mhm, that's..great i guess" he nodded. "well uhm, i just wanted to come over and say hi. if our dads are gonna work together i should probably get to know his children too as a courtesy" you said with a smile, talking to bruce's oldest sons was quite nerve wrecking to say the least. they were tall, fit, sharp and certainly attractive, they're also intelligent one might add.

"huh" jason blurted out. "i didn't know bruce and mr. stark had to work together" he said. "oh, mr. wayne didn't mention anything?" "he never does" he replied. "hmm, that's a bit odd.." "trust me, everything's odd when you're around him" you couldn't help but chuckle which took jason back a bit, seeing you find his 'joke' funny enough. it was...adorable.

"i'll take your word for it, jason" hearing you say his name was like hearing angels sing to him. he didn't even realize he was developing a crush on someone he just met at a random gala, that never happened before. it must be something about you that attracted jason a lot.

"oh and, do you know where to get some fresh air? all this business talk has been making me ill for the past hour" you asked, a bit embarrassed to say it in front of them. but they seem to get your pain. "I'll let my brother show you, he knows this place a lot more than i do" "wh— you literally live here" jason whispered loudly. "i'll see you around ms. stark, i look forward to working with you soon" and just like that, dick had left you and jason alone.

your eyes followed dick as he walked back into the crowd until he was no longer seen, your gaze returning back to jason who was just staring at you unconsciously. at some point, you found yourself admiring his features for a moment. his eyes that shined against the light, his ruffled hair that sat prettily on his forehead, and his prominent jawline. 'he's cute...i guess' you thought to yourself, not until he cleared his throat when the silence got too loud.

"sooo, shall i show you around or are you gonna keep staring at me?" he said which made you lift a brow. "staring at yo— weren't you the one staring at me first?" you argued, making jason laugh at your protest. "relax, i was kidding" he added, flicking his head towards the staircase for you to follow him. "y'know, for a sec i thought you were a royal of some sort" jason started as the both of you went up. "how so?" you asked. "i don't know, you look all elegant and..the way you speak" you chuckled at his remark. "should i be flattered or is that a bad thing?" "not at all" jason said, a short smile forming. "well, that's what my mother taught me. she didn't want me to be a 'smartmouth' like my dad. he's probably annoying mr. wayne by now because of it" "bruce has already been around smartmouths enough," he turned towards you, "exhibit a" then gestures to himself.

you couldn't help but chuckle at jason. "is that so?" you asked with an exaggerated tone. "i didn't take you for a smartmouth if i'm being honest, more quite the opposite really" "well you might've if we met under different circumstances" "maybe, maybe not" you looked up to him with a mischievous glint in your eyes, a slight smirk forming on his face.

as the two of you walk through the empty halls of the mansion, you both reach the huge balcony where the doors are wide open. the cold breeze seeping through the curtains which sent shivers down your spine. you tried to fight the chills around your skin, but it was evident to jason you were clearly freezing. he unbuttoned his blazer and wrapped it around your shoulders, giving them a quick squeeze when you thanked him. "ahh, this is nice" you exhaled, relief washing over you when the distinct conversations are finally blocked. you stared into the dimmed city lights of gotham, poorly glistening from where you stood.

"it kinda is" jason added, his hands now both in his pockets as he admired the view...and you.

the longer you stared, the longer a thought began lingering. you cracked your head to the side to look at jason standing behind you, ushering him to come forward. "so uh, how long have you been here?" you started. "since birth, i'm pretty much stuck here" jason answered as he leaned against the railings. "but either way, gotham is my home afterall. i don't think i'll ever have the chance to leave this behind, even if i wanted to" there was a bit of sentiment behind his words, but you understood him. you were also pretty much stuck in one place before your father finally agreed to take you elsewhere, to finally let you handle things your own way when you came of age.

he was always protective over you which partially hindered you from living up to your true potential, but now that he's giving you a part of his legacy you have the chance to prove yourself.

"how was it like? y'know, growing up in a city like this" you followed up. "nothing to sugarcoat i'll tell you that, but uh...that's probably a story for another day" jason says, a quick glance to your direction. "another day?" "yeah another day" he said, studying your reaction. his eyes gleamed with hope, hoping that you'd understand where he's getting at. "are– are you saying—" "yes, ms. stark. i, jason todd, am hoping to see you another day"

your cheeks flushed pink, the heartfelt conversation suddenly turning into whatever this was. it was a pleasant surprise. "i— well, i don't see why i'd say no to that offer" you said with the brightest smile on your face. jason contained a smile however, letting his head fall down between his arms while he sighed in relief. that could've gone the wrong way. he tapped against the stone railing and brought his head back up, his cheeks also dusted pink. "a'ight so, when can i see you then?" he raised a brow.

"i'm in the city for the next few weeks, come visit at the flat two blocks away from the stark industries site. i'm at the third floor, second door to your right" jason took note of that mentally, making sure he got every detail down. "right," he nodded. "uhhh, how do they say this— so it's..a date?"

"it's a date, mr. todd"

[meidui]

stevetony sex pollen fic recs

for @fluffystevefest day 5: aphrodisiac 💕

Aphrodisiac by @kandisheek

Steve gets hit with some sort of sex pollen. It must be the universe's idea of a joke to let Captain America die from horniness and make Tony his only chance at survival.

Simple Biology by @stark---contrast

“God, I'm sweating bullets in this thing,” Tony said, already unzipping his undersuit. “It’s not just me, right? It feels like a sauna in here.” And Steve's resolve crumbled by each inch of sweat-slick skin that was revealed.

Or, Tony gets hit by sex pollen. Fortunately, Steve is there to help him out.

the thorn in his side by @fohatic (or @moon-language-0 until justice is served)

It had been there from the beginning. There was no end to it, that mutual wanting between them—forever unresolved—that had grown so terribly soft and unbearably romantic with age...

But there was an unspoken rule between them, as well: an understanding that they could never act on it.

That is, until an alien parasite's brood nest gets violently dislodged from its Chitauri Leviathan host during the Battle of New York, dispersing its contents directly over two time-jumping tourists who are very much in the wrong place and the wrong timeline.

All the Love You Hold and Hide by Mireille

On a mission, Steve triggers a booby trap that turns out to be a skeevy sex curse, of the "fuck or die" variety.

Tony volunteers as tribute.

Exposed by @festiveferret @sirsapling

Of all the people Steve could be stuck with while this agonizing drug surged through him, of course, it had to be Tony Stark.

I Want to Hurt You by @festiveferret

How could Steve ever look Tony in the eye again? He loved Tony, so desperately, but he didn't know how to come back from this. He didn't know how many apologies would be enough to make up for what he'd done.

He could still feel Tony's soft skin giving to dark bruises under his fingers.

Side Effects by @elimymoons

"So what I'd like to propose," Tony continued on, "is for you to let me help you out a little, yeah? We'll work off some of this energy, some of this adrenaline, and you don't have to worry about hurting yourself anymore, okay?"

Steve's in a bit of trouble. Tony wants to help him out. Sexily.

Emergency Contact by @valdomarx

Steve has been exposed to sex pollen, and for some reason Tony is the person who's been called in to assist him.

Tony knows that he can't take advantage of Steve in this desperate state, but it's awfully hard to remember that when Steve is rubbing up against him and describing all of his deepest fantasies in excruciating detail.

Double Blind by @loftyperch

Steve signs up for a drug trial. Naughty side effects ensue.

Long Distance Relationship by @cookinguptales

So what do you do when your boyfriend gets sex pollened and you're thousands of miles away? The correct answer here is Extremis sex. Obviously.

Messes We Make by @navaan

Commander Rogers locks himself in his office with a sex-pollend Tony, he's not exactly back on speaking terms with. Things get out of hand.

calling (screaming) your name by orphan_account

in which the whole team gets vapored during battle and it affects everyone differently. Tony finds out, first-hand, how it affects Steve.

Dishonest John's Special Rates by @meh-guh

Steve runs afoul of sex pollen and Tony reaps the benefit

honey from your hive by @meidui

"Steve, stop that," Tony says, sounding strangled as his grip tightens and Steve stops, letting Tony grab his face and tilt him up. "You're kind of scaring the crap out of me. What is it? What's going on with you?"

"We blew up the lab," Steve manages, and something dawns on Tony's face. "Everyone had a reaction 'cept me. Think 'm having it now."

[softlymaximoff]

Canvas for your Art

18+ ONLY MEN & MINORS DNI (blank blogs will be blocked you do not have my permission to republish my work onto any platform.

— A/N: HAPPY BDAY RIABEAR @belovaskitkat

— Summary: when your girlfriend surprises you with new art supplies for your birthday, you waste no time in testing them out on your favourite canvas.

— Characters: Soft!dom goofy Kate, Sub!Fem!reader

— Warnings: fluff, D/s dynamics (K, r - respectively), light overstim, pet names, dumbification, light pet play, orgasm denial, lmk if i've forgotten anything else!

— Word Count: 2.85k

"Kaaaaate" you groaned as your girlfriend opened the blinds, allowing the golden flecks of light to seep through the room. It was your birthday today and the two of you had been so busy with missions and briefings that no one really had time to have a wind down and celebrate the 'Tony Way' of a birthday.

"Wakeup sleepy girl, it's your birthday" she sing-songed softly as she padded across the hardwood floor with ease. A disgruntled groan slipped your lips and you heard the archer chuckle. Mornings were not it, you made that very clear.

"Come on baby, I've got plans!" she sat by your starfished state and ran her fingers through your slightly curly hair. She rolled her eyes at the way your body melted further into the mattress before rolling you over and pressing feather like kisses along your forehead.

Quiet giggles escaped your lips at the sudden yet dotting action and you finally opened your eyes. "Morning angel" Kate whispered and kissed your lips gently. "Hi" you whispered out as you kissed her back and just stared at her.

"You look nice" you commented on her minimal makeup look for the day and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. "Nothing compared to you pretty girl" she commented right back and you blushed. "8:30 and I've already made your cheeks red" the avenger chuckled and got up from her spot, throwing a few clothing items your way.

You blushed even harder at the double meaning and huffed at the inuendo, "You're so silly Bishop" you pouted as you sat up, stretching your arms above your head. You heard a quiet 'biiiiiig stretch' next to you and it broke you out of your stretch, laughter taking over your body.

"Now you're even sillier what the heck baby!" you managed to wheeze out and slapped her arm lightly. "You stretched like Lucky! It was only appropriate! And watch those hands love" she defended and warned at the same time while the two of you got up started your morning routine. All Kate did was follow you around, occasionally dressing you up here and there and helping with your hair, but were you about to complain? Hell no.

"So what does my birthday girl want to do today? We can do presents tonight and do something this morning or during the day, or we can do them this morning and go out somewhere tonight" she played with your hands as her back was against your chest while you were sitting on the counter waiting for breakfast to cook.

"How about we do something this morning and presents tonight?" you mused and leant down, kissing the top of her head. She swayed gently between your legs and turned to look at you, "Grab your coat, were gonna go to the lake" she murmured after just looking at you with nothing but adoration in her eyes.

And so you did just that, you grabbed your coats, your shoes and Lucky. A couple of thorough room checks for safety and the two of you were on your way to the lake where you first met each other. The story was cute for you, completely ego bruising for your girlfriend.

"Lena look at them! They're so cute! OH please can we get one for the compound!" the archer was swooning over a cuddle puddle of baby ducklings and their mother roaming around the lake edge. "Kate Bishop for goodness sake! Leave the poor water chickens alone! They are paobably so sick and tired of everyone trying to steal them all day! My God Americans really are so weird, Mama Melina had pigs maybe we can play with those, theyre just...four legged muddy chickens?" the widow rolled her eyes at the commotion and fuss over these fluff balls and Kate gasped in horror.

"You take that back! I'm not weird! Pigs are ugly! At least these babies are so fluffy and cute and really just like you! Theyre short and fiesty and loud as hell but so so so cute and squishy!" Kate teased and squished the blondes cheeks. "Get off me you cytka" Yelena shrieked and swatted her hands away, groaning at the instant sensation on the apples of her cheeks.

"Your new nickname isn't Lena or Blondie anymore, its Ducky" Kate howled in laughter at the deadpan glare Yelena sent. "Count your days Katniss" she growled and lunged at her best friend, sending them both on the floor. Thw two got into a playfull tussle until something wet licked Kate's face. "Did you just LICK me?! Yelena! That was uncalled for you ass! Ew!" Kate spluttered dramatically and wiped her cheek like a maniac.

The way Yelena went to roll her eyes but remained quiet and adverted her eyes away from Kate, smirking at something behind her made the purple avenger spin around. "What?! That's so not fair!" the duo were staring at a brunette crouching at the lake's edge with a few stray ducklings at her feet. "They never come up to anyone!" Kate whispered in awe and Yelena saw something in her eyes.

She was a spy for gods sake, she knew how to read people. Kate wasnt looking at the lowkey insult from the animals, but towards you. The Duckling whisperer. She was mesmerized. Anyone could see it. "Go say hi you idiot" Yelena pushed the lovestruck archer a little in the direction and Kate froze up.

"I can't just go over there and say hi! Are you crazy?!" she panicked but the widow smirked instead. "Kate Bishop, do you not know how conversations work? And plus, I'm tired of hearing you complain about how 'Wanda said she's too old for me' 'Tasha and Maria sure seem like theyre fun, do you think they want a third' 'Wanda said she's fine with Vision, is that code for he's got no game' go and say hi or I will for you" Yelena shoved her a little harder this time and Kate went stumbling from her little safe space.

Now she was too close to you to go back to Yelena but too far to try and talk to you without yelling. With a big deep sigh, she stuck up her middle finger behind her where she heard the blonde chuckle and made her way over to you. She slowed a little when she heard your voice speak out onto the lake.

"Aw you're cute too, don't worry I'm not playing favourites, your siblings just like to steal my attention. I promise youre just as beautiful!" you spoke to these small creatures in the softest voice Kate had ever heard. Resting peacefully next to you was Mama duck, her little babies splashing in the water in front of her and running laps around you.

The closer Kate got to you the harder it was to not completely fumble. On the otherside of you was a little sketchbook, a few rough line drawings of the ducks and the lake adorned the slightly oat coloured page. Of course you were an artist! All the more reason for Kate to back out of this! You were so cool and soft spoken, she felt like you yourself belonged in an art museum. 'So beautiful' she thought.

With a final breath of encouragement, she sat down next to you gently as to not startle the ambience and you froze tentatively at the new body but what she said next made you at ease instantly. "They taste great with orange" was the only thing that made its way out of Kate's mouth and she was mortified. From then on, the lake was your favourite place to watch the archer and her scary blonde friend roam around in the early mornings of Spring.

A gentle tug on your belt loop drew your attention back to reality and you realised that 1, Lucky's leash was now in your girlfriend's hold not yours, who knows when the switch happened and 2, she brought you to the infamous spot. "How stupid" You heard her chuckle as the two of you sat down and got comfortable as Lucky went off-leash around the two of you. "It was cuteee, little baby Katie all shy and stumbly" you teased her but a playful (yet threatening) glare made you gulp.

"I still remember how beautiful you looked that day" Kate sighed in awe and pulled you close to her, your head falling on her shoulder. "Stop" you blushed and she kissed your head. "I still remember the way you would always look away when Yelena caught you staring at us" this time you actually whined at the memory. "She's scary! You can't blame me! Not when her sister is Black Widow, of course she'll scare me!" you huffed against her collarbone and she shuddered.

"Baby, Yelena isnt called Ducky for no reason! Tasha I can understand, but Lena? She's a fluff ball" Kate snickered and rolled her eyes at the obvious comparison. A small bark from Lucky broke the two out of your conversation and you couldn't believe your eyes as you sat up. A small family of ducks made their way over towards the lip of the lake and Lucky sniffed the bigger one before walking off with a happy smile, layig behind Kate in the shade.

"Hi little ones! G'mornin Mama and Papa duck" you whispered in awe as the family of 7 waddled towards your area, butts shaking off the water as the little ones followed Mama. "Still as soft as ever my angel girl" Kate murmured and pulled you in for a tender kiss. The two of you stayed in your little bubble for hours until Lucky was getting angsty and losing his concentration and ignoring commands from your girlfriend.

"Buhbye little quackpots" you smiled at the flock and they returned to their watery sanctum, one of the bigger ducks hanging around the area a little longer before following it's babies and paddling off.

A little while later and you found yourself sitting on the couch blindfolded waiting for your girlfriend to return to you. Lucky was asleep on the other sofa so there wasn't even a chance of him alerting her presence. Not a sound escaped your lips while you waited, you knew better than to disobey a command. A small shuffle to the left of you had you almost turning your head but once again, she told you to not to move and stay still.

You could feel her near you, you could head her, you could smell her perfume but nothing was said. The smirk on the archer's lips was growing with every passing second, you were always so good for her. her good little pet. She let a few more seconds pass before taking pity on you and places a few delicate things in your open hands.

She got you a palette, paint and brushes. The very paint set you had been eying for weeks. Every art store was out and you quite frankly had given up on ever finding a supplier that still had it. "Baby..." you spoke in disbelief, your face twisting from shock to awe in a matter of seconds. "Paint me" Kate grabbed your chin gently and it was only then did you notice that she was in nothing but lace panties and an oversized silky top.

You nodded dumbly scrambling to get up and grab a canvas from the art room but a gentle squeeze around your wrist stopped you. "Paint me" she spoke softly and lead your hand down to her thigh. When the two of you first started dating, Kate would always let you use her back as a canvas when you ran out at home. You nodded again and mumbled out 'water, going to need water' as you raced to the kitchen to grab a container for water and steadily walked over to the couch.

"Lie down" you gently pushed her so she was laying flat on her back and started organising your paint. "I miss your art" Kate said suddenly and you sighed a little, straddling her lap facing away from her to start on her thighs. "We both know how busy we get with work and stuff for me to actually start and finish something" you traced an outline of something and you felt your girlfriend's abs tighten underneath you. Guess she was enjoying this as much as you were.

"We need a year long vacation" she let out a humourus laugh underneath you and you had to focus so hard on the art currently forming on her leg. You hummed as you continued your painting, leaning forward occasionally for a colour or an area on her thigh and nearly jumped when gentle but deliberate hands placed themselves just under your butt.

"Kate- you're gonna make me lose focus" you warned quietly when her hands snuck into the leg holes, snapping your panties against the soft skin underneath. "That isn't my name, and you better not mess up, I wanna take a photo of it when it's done" she teased and her hands just started roaming as you tried to concentrate on her thigh.

You took a deep breath in when you realised you needed to reach for some paint again. 100% she was gonna do something while you were bent over. You mustered up all the strength you had and bent over, reaching for the paint and your hips stuttered as she ran a smooth finger over your panties, paying a little more attention to your clit.

"Please- you're gonna make me mess up" you whined when she kept her fingers where they were as you moved back to your spot atop her abs. "My good girl won't mess up, I know it, just ignore Daddy and make her thigh all pretty" Kate cooed from behind you as she slipped a finger inside your panties this time, only focusing on your little bundle of nerves.

Your hips involuntarily started grinding down on her stomach, desperate for more but a smack made them freeze instantly. "Stay still" she reprimanded and pushed that finger inside, adding another one with a smirk. You trapped your lip between your teeth and tried to continue on the painting but when she lazily circled your clit with her other hand you just about folded.

"Daddy- I can't- need more" you whimpered when she started curling them slowly. "No you don't, you need to finish your art. I told you I missed you doing it" she asnwered with fake sympathy and gently guided your hips towards her face, causing your brain to short circuit as she mumbled a 'down'. You complied easily and took a few shaky breaths in before making another attempt to paint her thigh, groaning when she used it to her advantage and slipped your panties and bottoms down to your thighs.

She removed her fingers and licked a bold stripe along your folds, sucking a particular harsh suck on your clit. "Mfhpm" you groaned as you fell into her non painted thigh. "Keep painting lovey" she mumbled against you and you whimpered and raised your hips to stop the stimulation. "Down" she commanded with much more authority this time and your hips stuttered as she pulled them onto her face. There was no way you were gonna finish this painting.

"Make it pretty baby, Daddy wants to show her friends how talted her baby is" Kate spoke lowly before pushing her tongue in your pussy, occasionally sucking. At one point you thought you were suffocating her with how hard you were pushing your hips into her face. No matter how much you tried to escape her torture, she kept you in your place and kept her pace steady. Your slick coated her lips and chin and she was still lazily eating you out. She didn't care.

"I'm n-nearly finished" you stuttered out as you reached over one more time for the final few stokes of the colour in use. Your girlfriend used that for one last opportunity to slide three fingers in and curl them on your sweet spot, completely catching you off guard. A low pornographic moan left your lips and she smirked at the sound. "You're lucky I didn't ask you do paint in silence" she hummed and took her fingers out as you finished her leg. "All done" you sat upright on her abs and looked over your shoulder.

She sat up (with you in her lap) and admired the art, a fond smile gracing her lips. "Just as beautiful as the artist" she turned you around to face her and stole your lips in a needy kiss. One of her hands snuck up towards your neck and she held your face gently before pushing it up so your neck was exposed. "Now let Daddy paint her canvas" she mumbled and started marking your neck in dark angry bruises. Safe to say, you both forgot about taking a photo of the painting and the couch had a colourful flower imprint on it the next day.

[khalixascorner]

im having a hard time finding sim!tony starker fics... any recommendations? thank u in advance!

Ok so I have a lot of recommendations lol.

If you enjoy dark (and I mean dark) SIM, then Basil has a ton of short fics. The whole collection is here.

Highlander_II writes a lot of canon aligned SIM, found here.

I also write a fair amount of SIM (all different flavors) if you want to just browse my profile (found here).

The Darkness in Me is a fun/dark two part where there's SIM, Tony, and Peter.

@authoressofdarkness has a lot I really like but the ones that come to mind for SIM both are WIPs.

Guide Me Safely to Shore is a soul mate story and Beauty and the Beast. Both feature a villainous Tony and hero Peter.

Baby Bats has a ton as well so just check their profile but mind the tags depending on your preference. @babybatscreationsv2 is a talented writer who writes across the spectrum of tags and genres.

@the-mad-starker and @graceful-starker have both written a few as well that are all really good so I'll just drop their profile links too. (hopefully the filter sort stayed on the link, but if not, just filter for superior iron man).

Mads. Gracie

@ursafootprints has one that's ongoing that I'm dying for the resolution. Mind the tags though because it's a dark incest fic. Double Blind

Late addition because I was rushing. Askmyknives also writes sim and you can find them here.

Ready is a hot little coffee shop AU one shot.

Devotion, absolution, desire is a really good dark smutty piece.

Blinding lights is a vampire soul mate AU that I adore.

Collared Innocence by StarkerKeyz is a super hot and also kinda cute soul mate story. I reread it regularly.

Anyways, if I forgot anyone, I'm sorry but these are some of what comes to mind!

[joanofexys]

JO!!!! DROP THE DAREDEVIL FIC RECS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!

IM HERE IM HERE IM HERE

lately i’ve just been rereading daredevil x avengers crossover fics but i’ll drop em anyway in case they’re of any interest

Take All The Courage - prettybirdy979

When what should have been a straight forward mission in Hell's Kitchen goes pear shaped due to lack of communication, teaching his teammates sign language seems like a logical step to Clint. Communication when their comms are down - great plan! And including the local vigilante, who's been working closely with them on this, is a real no-brainer.

Until it turns out said vigilante is an asshole that thinks sign language is beneath him, judging by the way he's stubbornly refusing to learn it.

(Conversely - Matt's trying, he really is but damn it, those two signs are exactly the same... what do you mean they mean completely different things?!)

Look the Devil in the Face - prettybirdy979

It's increasingly becoming a world where the unbelievable happens every day. The Avengers team includes a defrosted World War Two solider, a giant green rage monster and a man who might be a God; and they battle aliens and magic on a regular basis. It's not too far fetched to believe the Devil walks Hell's Kitchen.

Matt, on the other hand, hasn't realised exactly why his new battle buddies seem terrified of him. It's not like they've even heard the rumors about him being the Devil... right?

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost (But Matt's Not Wandering; He's Just Lost) - prettybirdy979

Matt has a super important meeting in Sta-no, Avenger Tower that he's running late for. But finding it in Tony Stark's futuristic nightmare of a non-ADA compliant building might be a problem.

(Aka Matt Murdock vs Tony Stark's building and high tech security. Here's a hint- the security loses)

None So Blind - prettybirdy979

They say when you assume you make an ass of you and me.

Matt wishes that the Avenger's assumptions about his seeming inability to read the written word did something as benign as making an ass of him and them. Being called illiterate shouldn't hurt, not when he knows he's not, and it's not like he can tell them the truth.

Not that the truth would make much difference. He's just going to have to grin and bear it.

If he can.

Double Blind - smilebackwards

Matt comes to, flat on his back, with Iron Man and Hawkeye hovering over him. “Oh fuck,” Stark says, less than comfortingly.

Thorns for Flowers - valkirin

Hawkeye don't mind working with Daredevil, really. He's a good guy to know and clearly cares about Hell's Kitchen.

Clint Barton would like Daredevil better if the guy was a little less ableist about Clint's hearing loss.

seeing eye to eye - karmauh

Stark Tower, or the Avenger's Tower, whatever it's called, doesn't have braille on their elevator numbers. Also Daredevil can't read print reports, but the violation against the Americans With Disabilities Act is what really gets him. Matt's a lawyer first, sue him! Or, well, don't. He's not sure that Nelson, Murdock, & Page can afford to get sued when the light in their office keeps going out. So he's heard.

Or— Matt Murdock’s eyes are MIA, therefore, reading print or anything that isn't raised/sunk/in braille is a delusion that will never actually become realized.

Alternatively — The Avengers see (pun intended) Daredevil’s inability to read, ignore the inability to see colors, and raise illiteracy as the ruling decision—for no particular reason, really. Hilarity ensues.

Seeing Blind - astroash94

Clint is deaf, Matt is blind and its really hard to work together when you can't communicate.

****

A chance meeting leads to a not-so chance meeting leads to... whatever's happening now.

40/40 - jadesfire

It's not all bad, being friends with an Avenger. Thor has some great stories, Asgardian Mead, and is handy for resetting dislocated joints. Also, Thor's friends think Daredevil has the best eyesight in New York, and Matt certainly isn't going to tell them otherwise.

Like a Crateful of Grenades - luulapants

“Wh-why…?” Tony said slowly, then more firmly, “Yeah, ‘why’ is the question here. Why do you want to bring The Punisher into my building?”

Matt stumbled on that question. The real answer, of course, was that Frank knew his identity and could cover for him if anything was going to give him away as blind. In a panic, he blurted the first thing that came to mind: “We’re dating.”

---

The Avengers want Daredevil to get to know the team. He agrees on one condition.

Or: that Avengers Tower Fratt fake dating fic

[space-mermaid-writing]

Consort and King [IronStrange]

Summary: Anthony Stark, King of Midgard, needs a spouse. Whether he wants one or not. So he accepts an arranged marriage with the Prince of Kamar-Taj – a man he has never met in his life to the day they are standing in front of each other at the altar, speaking their vows. Is it possible that the feeling of duty grows into something more? Will their future be happy?

Relationship: Tony Stark / Stephen Strange

Tags: arranged marriage au, royal au, strangers to husbands, enemies to lovers, slow burn, idiots in love, fluff, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, all the good stuff

Author's note: Beta by @kvjjjjjj

Ko-fi | Read it on AO3 | Series Masterlist | Word count: 5.2k | Previous | Next

15 Dealing with the rogues

The portal took Stephen and the other masters to the underground catacombs beneath the temple, where the earlier explosion had been heard. They stepped right into what seemed to be the middle of a summoning.

There were lines and symbols drawn onto the ground and the rogues stood in a large circle, chanting in an ancient language. The black and purple smoke seemed to have originated here.

Whatever they were trying to accomplish, it couldn’t be anything good.

The sorcerer’s of Kamar-Taj immediately attacked; Stephen leading them, sending a powerful beam at one of the rogues. He threw the rogue off his feet. This broke the circle but the others continued their chanting.

It was clear that they were willing to pull through, no matter what.

“They are wearing the mark of the dark dimension!”

Stephen shifted his focus and he realized that the master was right: the rogues had purple glowing marks on their foreheads.

This was bad.

Analyzing the whole situation Stephen noticed that one of the rogue sorcerers standing in the circle had a book hovering in front of him. If Stephen had to bet, he’d say this was the stolen book from the library.

He gritted his teeth as he recognized the rogue's face: it was Kaecilius, a former student of the Ancient One.

And suddenly Stephen had no doubt who had plunged the black dagger into her chest.

Stephen gave the sorcerer closest to him a sign and they attacked Kaecilius together. The other sorcerer, a man around Stephen’s age wearing his brown hair in a ponytail, used a spell to hit the rogue right into his chest.

Kaecilius doubled over in pain.

At the same time, Stephen snagged the book through a small portal – a nifty trick he used to annoy Wong with.

As soon as he got the book in his hand and closed it, the chanting stopped as if a spell had been broken; and all heads turned to him. The marks on their foreheads remained, as well as the hostile look in their purple eyes. It warned Stephen that they would aim to get that book back at any price.

Kaecilius straightened up again, his attention now on Stephen as well. “Look at that! The lost prince has returned.,” he sneered and threw a lightning bolt at him.

Stephen couldn't activate a shield without putting the book down, so he jumped to the side, feeling the heat of the spell way too close for his liking.

For a moment he thought about storing the book in his personal pocket dimension just to keep his hands free. But he couldn’t take on Kaecilius and his zealots at the same time; even with the help of the other masters. They had to split the rogues up.

He weighed his options. He deemed Kaecilius the greater threat. Maybe he was biased, blinded by the image of the Ancient One lying dead on the ground in his mind.

This was personal.

He tossed the book to a younger master nearby; The last time Stephen had seen him before he left for Midgard, he had been wearing the red robes of an apprentice. Now he was wearing the colors of a master.

“Get that book away from here!”

The sorcerer nodded – his face stern – and with a swift motion he opened another portal.

Several sorcerers and rogues followed him, starting a chase. Stephen didn't have time to help him, he was busy dodging another attack from Kaecilius.

“It’s too late,” the rogue sorcerer taunted him. “The channel is already open. The power we draw from it is greater than you could ever imagine. Even your new piece of jewelry won't help you.” His purple blazing eyes darted to the necklace on Stephen's chest, hungrily. “But go ahead. Play with your new toy.”

Only the most powerful mages could actually use it. That was why the Ancient One had had to die.

Stephen summoned a golden mandala, which he threw at Kaecilius. The rogue swiped it away easily.

Both men didn’t hold back in the fight that followed. They threw spells at each other, blocking the other’s magic or redirecting it. More than once, a charge of magic slammed into one of the rock walls and caused the ground to shake.

Stephen noticed that Kaecilius moved mainly within the drawn summoning circle. And it seemed to enhance his magic even further. Like he had said: although the ritual had been interrupted, a channel remained open to the Dark Dimension.

Having this realization, Stephen quickly came up with a plan to get the rogue out of there. And he put this plan into action as soon as he saw an opportunity.

He dodged the falling debris caused by another quake. Using his slingring, he appeared right next to Kaecilius.

As the rogue whirled around to face him, Stephen opened another portal, directly behind him. Before Kaecilius was able to throw up a shield, Stephen hit him with a full blast. He didn't knock the rogue off his feet, but Kaecilius did stumble backwards through the circle.

Stephen followed him, not letting the rogue out of his eyes, and stepped on the roof of one of the temples, which were still surrounded by the black and purple smoke.

The new location up in the air didn’t stop them from continuing to fight. Kaecilius didn’t even bat an eye at it. Stephen simply put a spell on his boots to keep balance, before charging at the rogue.

_________________

Tony helped Wong and some of the other masters to clean up. Most of the damage had been done in the courtyards and between the temples. The sorcerers used magic to repair broken windows and balconies and to get rid of any quicksand.

Overall, it seemed like the attack had been a diversion. And a good one. Tony briefly wondered what kind of enemy Stephen was facing.

Since Tony couldn't contribute much to the repairs with no magic, he assisted a few injured sorcerers to get to the healers.

Suddenly he and Wong saw a flash of orange as a portal opened nearby. Several sorcerers and rogues were running through and past them.

Wong raised his hands for a spell, glancing at Tony, who had his hands on the hilt of his sword. Then he looked back at the sorcerers. He seemed undecided, weighing the potential danger against Stephen's silent plea to protect Tony's life.

The king took the decision away from him, sprinting ahead. “Let's get them!”

That was all the conviction Wong needed, and he quickly caught up to Tony's side. He created a magic rope, similar to the whips Stephen often used fighting, but this time with a knife at one end. He whirled it around and swung it in the direction of a rogue, stopping him from pursuing.

More people were portaling in and out and soon it was a mess to recognize who was a sorcerer of Kamar-Taj and who was a rogue without looking into their faces first; something that needed a few seconds which Tony did not always have in a fight.

Watching them, Tony quickly found that the rogues seemed to be chasing a young man who had an old book tucked under his arm.

Someone grabbed Tony’s arm, and he whirled around to shake off whoever it was – until he noticed it was Wong, who pulled him towards a bunch of portals.

“This way.”

They joined the chase to eliminate the hunters of the book.

Tony recognized the hallway they stepped into next. He had been here in the past two days, even though he wasn’t able to nail down which of the temple buildings it belonged to.

It didn’t matter anyway, because suddenly gravity shifted and the hallway seemed to rotate. Tony elbowed a rogue who staggered too close to him in the side, when the wall that had been to his left was now the new ground.

Man, magic was really annoying.

Tony used Whisperwind to deflect another attack from the rogue he had just elbowed. They had a buzz-cut and their slender form made it impossible to tell their gender. Tony struck their leg, made a lunge to the side and immediately struck them again at the shoulder.

Gravity shifted again. Tony lost his footing and stumbled over a chandelier and right into another portal.

He landed in snow, somewhere in the mountains. It was cold and windy. Tony hated it instantly, but looking up he saw the portal was too high in the air to get back.

He rolled out of the way when Wong came through. The sorcerer landed at his side with grace. He was probably used to these kinds of stunts.

Well, back to the chase.

Tony threw his blade the same time Wong threw his rope dart, both of them hitting different rogues that were still after the book guy. The young sorcerer had toppled to the ground – and he didn’t get back up. When he tried his leg gave in under him, preventing him from getting out of here.

Tony doubted it was his only injury.

The king engaged the rogues in a duel while Wong opened another portal under the young sorcerer with the book; and closed it as soon as he fell through with a yelp.

Now it was Tony and Wong against three rogues. Angrily, they turned towards them.

Tony had Wong's back while he continued to attack them from afar with Whisperwind.

He wasn't stupid enough to face magic without a shield of his own. Luckily, Wong provided one for both of them. Tony had already noticed after today that the sorcerer was a skilled fighter, and between the two of them, the rogues stood no chance.

After the last of the three bodies had hit the snow, he pulled his blade back onto the hilt.

“Can we get out of here?” He asked, freezing from the cold.

He was shivering from the weatherand sweating from the fight at the same time. His breath came in little puffs of white fog whenever he exhaled, and he barely felt his fingers anymore.

Used to the warm climate of Midgard, Tony was not a fan of these winter mountains. Especially when he wasn’t wearing any warm clothes.

Wong nodded and opened another portal. Tony was glad to step through it, and he saw they were back in the garden of the Sorcerer's Temples.

Apparently Wong had followed the sorcerer's magical signature with the book or something like that, because they found the man. His legs had failed him and he had sunk to the grass, leaning his back against a tree.

He panted heavily, his fingers raised for another spell. As soon as he saw Wong, he dropped his hands, relief visible on his face.

“You did good,” Wong reassured the young master as he stepped up to him. “I’m taking this from here.”

The young man nodded and handed him the book. “Thank you, Master Wong,” he sighed, closing his eyes for a second.

Wong hung the book on his belt before making it disappear with a gesture.

“Where did it go?” Tony asked because apparently this old looking book was important enough that people would kill for it.

Wong patted the space where it should be, and there was a surprising solid noise.

“I hid it from prying eyes.”

“Great.” Tony turned back to the injured sorcerer. “Let's bring him to the infirmary. Can you open another one of those magic circles?”

“It’s called a portal.” Wong rolled his eyes, but there was no bite in his voice.

“Of course. Whatever you say.” Tony helped the younger sorcerer onto his feet. The boy groaned in pain as soon as he moved his leg.

Tony put his arm around his shoulders, taking most of his weight.

“Thanks,” the sorcerer muttered. “I’m Aimar, by the way.”

"Tony." Aimar didn’t seem to be aware that he was talking to royalty. Tony helped him limp through the portal that Wong had opened. “Don’t worry, you will be back in shape in no time.”

Aimar hummed. “Did we win?”

“There may be some of them left, but we will get them. You rest.”

The sorcerer nodded.

Tony helped him sit down on an empty bed in the infirmary and Aimar passed out almost instantly. Tony waved over a healer before he and Wong went back outside; this time through the front door.

Just as he was about to descend the steps of the temple, he noticed a movement and looked up. Stopping in his tracks he stared as he saw Stephen fighting another sorcerer on the roof of a temple.

Kaecilius hurled a powerful spell at Stephen, some kind of purple beam. Tony didn’t see what Stephen did, but before the beam hit him, it exploded into hundreds of butterflies. They scattered in all directions.

“Wong!”

Wong, who was instructing some apprentices, whirled around, alarmed by the king’s worried voice. His eyes followed Tony’s pointing arm.

Stephen moved as if his shoulder was injured. His movements were no longer fluid, his face tense. He was biting back the pain.

Nevertheless, he returned the attack. Wind came up, roaring into an almost visible storm of yellow and orange, moving around them. Small, delicate swirls, that suddenly morphed into needles and attacked Kaecilius.

It cut his skin and he let out an angry cry that was heard even in the yards.

Tony hated not being able to do anything to help. Even though he had fought enough wars to know when to join a fight and when to trust others to win. Any interference from him would only hinder Stephen.

He sent a prayer to all known gods that his husband would return safely to his arms.

Stephen mustered up all his strength. He couldn’t just use raw power. Kaecilius simply had more of it.

But he could try the Sorcerer Supreme’s way.

Stephen closed his eyes for a moment. His fingers touched – as he had seen the Ancient One do so often – and he crossed his hands.

The Eye of Agamotto opened, glowing bright green.

Kaecilius laughed. This was Strange’s end. You needed years of training and studies to use the Eye without any consequences. Strange was a fool for trying to use it. It would be his downfall.

As soon as the Eye opened, Stephen felt its power. It was so much more than he had ever imagined. It was like embracing a wave while trying to redirect it with nothing but his bare hands.

His broken hands.

He could only hope it would not drown him.

It was dangerous to experiment with these kinds of powers; it was easy to be corrupted by them – or crushed by them.

At that moment Stephen didn’t care. Anger and grief clouded the rational part of his mind, letting him become careless.

It also allowed him to dig deeper into his own powers.

Kaecilius hurled a spell at him and Stephen wasn’t able to block it; his whole focus went into controlling the Eye. He did manage to stay on his feet, but still slid backwards. It hurt. He was bleeding from somewhere. But there was no time to dwell on it.

The green glowing necklace on his chest felt like a pool of lava. Stephen needed to draw from it without burning his hands. It was an impossible task.

He moved his fingers anyway; in a pattern he had once read about. A spell of banishment, forceful enough for a demon.

A memory of the Ancient One came into his mind. She smiled gently at him – patiently – whenever he had thrown a tantrum. And Stephen had thrown a lot of them when he first started to study magic.

A single tear ran down his cheek.

Another attack hit Stephen and he heard Kaecilius laughing. He clenched his teeth. By now he was standing up only by willpower alone.

“Faith is my sword, truth is my shield, knowledge my armor,” he murmured. It was something the Ancient One had taught him and he had internalized the words.

Everything hurt. Especially his heart.

Stephen's mind wandered to Tony; his brave, beautiful husband, who was still at the temples somewhere. Stephen would defend him, fight for him until his dying breath.

“Let’s see if you still laugh if you meet the demon you planned to summon in person,” Stephen growled through gritted teeth.

The faint green glow that had followed the movement of his fingers, finished its pattern and lit up brightly now.

Kaecilius’ laughter stopped abruptly. There was suddenly fear in his eyes upon realization.

Stephen had done it.

With a grunt he pushed the green magic at the rogue. Kaecilius tried to dodge it, but it was to no avail. The magic wrapped around him, held him tight and confined his movements as well as his voice. The magic had him in its grip and there was no escape.

The green got brighter and brighter until it exploded in a sphere of light, as the rogue sorcerer was catapulted from this world.

Stephen barely noticed it. The blast wave from the explosion had caught him and knocked him backwards off his feet. His focus was solely on controlling the Eye, which was why he lost grip of all the other spells - including the one on his boots that had been holding him on the roof.

And thus he fell.

Tony panicked because it was too fast and Stephen was diving head first. His movements were slow and staggered as he tried to perform a spell.

However, nothing happened – his magic failed him – and Stephen continued to fall, unhindered.

Suddenly, a golden glowing portal opened in front of him; its counterpart leading to Wong, who was controlling the spell. Stephen fell through it, hitting the ground at a shallow angle that abruptly ended his fall. He tumbled across the ground, rolling over several times before coming to a halt groaning.

He felt like he had just bruised everything for a second time today.

Tony ran over to him. “Stephen! Shit, are you okay? Talk to me!”

The sorcerer struggled to get to his feet; his legs trembled and gave way under the weight of his body when he tried to move.

Tony’s hands were all over Stephen, making sure he was alive.

“You’re alright! Everything’s fine.” Tony reassured Stephen as well as his own self. Seeing his husband fight – and almost falling to death – had shaken him more than he cared to admit.

“You’re not allowed to do these kinds of stunts again. You hear me? I don’t… I need you to be safe.” His voice was shaking.

“Is he gone?” Stephen asked, his voice rough.

“That other guy? Yes, he exploded or something like that. He is gone.”

Relieved, Stephen stopped trying to get up and rolled onto his back instead. He hissed in pain. “Can you… get a healer please?”

“Of course!” Tony turned around to pass the request to Wong – because there was no way he was leaving Stephen’s side.

Only, Wong was gone. Always a step ahead, the sorcerer had hurried inside the infirmary as soon as he had closed the portal behind Stephen.

Tony praised his quick thinking. Wong deserved a raise.

Stephen was on the verge of fainting, overwhelmed by the pain that seemed to get stronger the more the adrenaline was wearing off.

He didn't notice a rogue sorcerer creeping up, a black dagger in his hand.

Not all of them were neutralized yet. The rogues were defeated, their plan had failed; but that only made the remaining ones angrier.

It was easy to direct that anger onto Strange, who had stepped in to stop them. Who was wearing the Eye of Agamotto now.

Strange, who had left the temples a while ago to play consort.

Strange, who lay defenseless on the ground. Vulnerable.

The rogue saw his chance for a quick revenge. Even with Tony at the sorcerer’s side, he thought they would be an easy target. Tony's clothes were clearly not from Kamar-Taj, so he wasn’t a Master of the Mystic Arts.

Stephen didn’t notice the rogue sneaking up.

But Tony did. With a swift motion he drew Whisperwind and swung the blade at the rogue. “Don’t you dare touch him!” he spat angrily.

Tony had been trained in sword fighting since the age of nine, when he had been tall enough to hold a wooden weapon in his hands, and wield it. His movements were practiced and precise.

The rogue sorcerer was surprised by the fury that met him. He defended himself but he stood no real chance against the fierce husband.

A blade in his chest stopped the rogue’s beating heart.

Tony stepped to him and connected the sword back into one piece before he pulled out the blade, ignoring the blood dripping from it. His eyes darted around to see if anyone else was stupid enough to attack his Stephen.

There was no one.

“Tony..” Stephen coughed weakly and Tony was back at his side instantly.

“I’m here, Stephen.”

Finally, Wong was back, a healer hot on his heels. He was startled by the freshly dead rogue next to Stephen, but Tony gave him a look that reassured him.

Everything was under control.

Tony stayed at Stephen’s side while the healer moved faintly glowing fingers over the sorcerer’s body. Tony wasn’t sure what kind of magic he did, but Stephen exhaled deeply. His breathing seemed to come easier to him after that and he was in less pain. He was even able to sit up.

It didn’t stop Tony from fussing over his husband and he only stopped when Stephen took Tony’s hands into his.

“Tony,” he spoke softly and waited until Tony looked at him. “I’m fine.”

“You’re fine…” Tony echoed.

And it was the truth: by some miracle both men had survived.

Tony accepted a cup of water handed out by some apprentices in red robes and handed it straight to his husband. Stephen drank from it and then gave it back to Tony, wordlessly asking him to do the same.

They were still sitting on the ground near the infirmary. It wasn't even midday. That such an attack had happened in broad daylight was unusual. The attackers had used the cover of the fog, but they must have been very sure of their victory. Maybe overconfident.

Stephen looked at the place where the body of the Ancient One no longer lay, and he realized something. “She knew it.”

“Who?” Tony asked.

“The Ancient One. She must have known what would happen today. She wasn’t even surprised by the alarm. She probably even suspected she would die today, and I was the person she asked to see before she… I think she wanted to make sure I was happy in Midgard.”

Stephen looked at Tony, his eyes suddenly wet.

Tony put a sympathetic hand on his arm. He had known her only for a day, but that was enough to see what an incredible woman she had been. And she had clearly cared about Stephen a lot.

Tony briefly wondered why she had not tried to prevent her death if she had known. He couldn't imagine living with that kind of knowledge and still letting it happen.

He remembered Donna’s words about time magic.

And who knew… maybe the alternatives had been even worse…

“Luckily we had chosen now to visit,” he concluded his trail of thoughts. At least that had given Stephen the opportunity to speak to his mentor one last time.

The sorcerer made a noise that sounded somewhere between a hollow laugh and a painful sob. “There are no such things as coincidences. Everything happens for a reason.”

Tony didn’t fully agree with that. They had planned this trip and informed the Sorcerer Supreme, or really anyone, only after everything had been agreed on.

On the other hand… if Stephen hadn’t stepped in fighting that evil guy – who else would have? And would they have succeeded?

Wong stepped to their side. He had stayed close to him the whole time since the fight had started. Not only as Stephen's manservant but today,  as their guard and – most importantly – as Stephen’s friend.

“Stephen, The Council is meeting to decide how to proceed. They asked us to join them.” He turned his face to Tony. “As Stephen’s husband and ally of Kamar-Taj you are welcome as well.”

Stephen nodded and slowly got up to his feet. He briefly staggered when a wave of dizziness overtook for a moment, but he rejected Tony’s hand that tried to support him.

“I’m fine. Just magical exhaustion.”

Tony didn’t know anything about that. Sure, Stephen's exterior wounds seemed healed; mostly scratches and cracked skin from when he was rolling all over the ground. But he didn’t believe that deeper, internal injuries would heal just as quickly. Even with magic.

Tony was glad to be able to join the Council and keep an eye on Stephen. Although he would have understood if he had been excluded from what was clearly a discussion about internal affairs of the sorcerers.

Some might say it was way too early to deal with the political consequences; the damage caused by the attack was still being recorded. The bodies of the fallen were still being carried off the battlefields.

But this had been an act of war and war didn’t care about sensibility or anyone’s grief.

Tony wasn’t fully familiar with the command structure of the sorcerers, but he knew they were in a weaker position without their leader.

Wong led them to a nearby temple and into a smaller room. Several other men and women in robes of various colors had gathered there. They greeted the three men and introduced themselves to the King of Midgard.

Stephen removed the necklace from his neck and put it onto a pedestal that had the exact shape to hold it. Nobody else touched it.

Tony noticed someone had brought food. It was just a big bowl of rice – nobody had time to cook with the attack - but Tony was still thankful. Breakfast seemed like an eternity ago and everyone knew that council meetings could go on forever.

And really: it started with everyone present telling what had happened from their perspective. It helped to get the big picture; like pieces of a puzzle.

It took a long time and often the stories overlapped.

Stephen was the last to talk, as he reported how he managed to defeat the head of the attackers, Kaecilius.

For once, Tony leaned back and listened quietly. He only talked when he was asked to.

The council meeting was long and tedious. Some people were circling back multiple times to discuss why the incident had happened in the first place.

Tony was used to this; it was similar to holding a council with the nobles. And Stephen seemed to feel the same way, except he wasn’t shy about his opinion on that. There was a lot of eye rolling from his side and he took an active part in the discussion, although he no longer lived here. But he was still a sorcerer – the Ancient One had said he had a forever  place here – and he was also still their prince.

Then the question was raised who should become the next Sorcerer Supreme, and instantly silence fell.

Stephen looked at the others and needed a moment to realize all eyes were on him. He frowned.

“No.”

“It was supposed to be you,” an older sorcerer interjected. Tony had gotten to know him as Master Hamir. “You are one of the best candidates we have ever had.”

“I have other commitments,” Stephen interjected. “And I'm going to be king.”

“Not of Kamar-Taj. It's a technicality, but the law doesn't apply in this case,” Master Minoru interjected.

Stephen was truly surprised that all his arguments were discarded and instead he even received encouragement. He hadn't expected that; he had been gone for months and had not planned on coming back for anything more than a visit.

He looked at Tony as if asking him for backup. He had made a promise to Tony the day they had married. The day he had signed the wedding contracts.

But to his surprise, Tony sided with the sorcerers. “We could arrange around your new duties.”

“It would mean that I would mostly stay in Kamar-Taj,” Stephen pointed out.

“I know.” Tony stepped closer to his husband. Stephen flinched and it almost looked like he would draw back, but he didn’t move away, his feet planted in the ground. Gently, Tony took the scarred hands into his. “I don’t want to keep you from this. It’s important to you.”

He remembered the Ancient One’s words from yesterday – and oh god it was really only yesterday they had arrived in Kamar-Taj and met her. It felt like weeks ago.

Even if it meant making sacrifices and only getting a small part of Stephen; Tony wanted him to be happy.

The other masters listened in silence. This was now a discussion between husbands. And between the rulers of a kingdom.

Stephen realized just how serious Tony was. He didn’t know how he deserved this man.

When his parents had presented him the marriage proposal he had thought that this part of his life was done and over. But now Tony offered him a second chance.

Stephen knew what it meant for Midgard and its king: Stephen would barely be there, his attention always divided between two realms that weren’t even close to each other.

How often would they even be able to see each other?

It was a big decision to make and Stephen should take his time for it. But he knew what he wanted for his future; even more so after what Tony had just offered.

“You are right.” Stephen was suddenly clear on what to say. “But there’s one thing that you didn’t consider. The most important thing.” There was a smile on his lips. “I love you.”

Tony looked at him in awe, his mind blanking. He needed a second to find his words. “You… uh, really? You really mean that?”

“I truly do. There are other perfectly fine candidates and-…”

Tony pulled him into a kiss. It was a kiss that spoke of whispered confessions and shared dreams.

Stephen would stay at Tony’s side. He chose Tony.

Tony was enough for him.

He felt like the happiest man alive.

Tony only remembered there were other people in the room when someone cleared their throat. He didn’t care; kissing his husband wasn’t the worst he had been caught doing.

Stephen's cheeks, on the other hand, were tinted red. He stood up a bit straighter when he turned to the other masters, but he kept his fingers interlaced with Tony’s, who was outright beaming.

“I decline,” Stephen announced what they had come to realize was his final answer. “That doesn’t mean I won’t aid you if anything happens. Just not in the position as the Sorcerer Supreme. Instead I propose Loki, Prince of Asgard, for that.”

Now, those words surprised some of the sorcerers.

Some others didn’t seem shocked at all.

“We will consider it,” Master Hamir said.

And somehow that marked the end of this meeting.

_____________

Taglist: @goopierthenyou (tell me if you want to be added/removed)

[seraphtrevs]

Hi!

Idk if anyone asked this before, but I really wanna know you opinion on Lalo's tattoo? I thought why they kept it? Is it just because it looks cool or Is it because it fits Lalo? Or no reason behind it all?

I think meaning fits Lalo quite well, but dying to know what do you think!

So this has been sitting in my inbox for months - sorry! 😅 I decided this ask was a great excuse to finally read the Tao Te Ching, which I'd been meaning to do for a long time, so I did that, and then I realized that it will probably take a lifetime to understand it, and maybe it should be less than a lifetime before I answered this ask.

Anyway. I think the real reason they didn't conceal the tattoo was because that would take time and effort better spent elsewhere. It's complete in character for a cartel operative to have a tattoo, so why bother to cover it up?

But that's a boring answer, and I think we can have more fun with it. Because I think you can make a case for this being Lalo's tattoo, not just Tony's. Come, take my hand, and let us indulge in some headcanons~

So let's take a look at it: (I found this on pinterest here, but no artist was credited. If anyone knows who it is, lmk!) ETA - art is by Artmetica - ty @reztruck!

The most prominent aspect is the yin-yang symbol. When he holds his arm palm up, it's staring him straight in the face. That makes it easy for him to look at, maybe as a reminder. So why would Lalo, violent cartel don, get a tattoo of a yin-yang?

My headcanon is that Lalo is a reader. He canonically only gets a couple hours of sleep a night (like - this is literally impossible, but he's kind of an impossible person. maybe it's really a couple more, but let's just say that he gets by on much less sleep than the average joe.) So what's he doing with all that time? There's only so much slithering around you can do in the dead of night. We know he likes to use his quiet time to think, and what better way to come up with stuff to think about than to read?

He's a curious and intelligent person - I'm sure he likes to read on a wide variety of subjects. Maybe when he was a young man, he had some questions about the meaning of it all and went looking for it in books. And maybe he came across a copy of the Tao Te Ching and took it to heart. (Well, not all of it - he is, after all, a violent drug dealer who kills without remorse lol)

I've always attributed Lalo's lack of fear to his psychopathy, which it is for the most part. But psychopathy doesn't entirely explain him, does it? Psychopaths aren't known for their emotional stability, but Lalo rarely loses his cool and seems in a good mood most of the time. It's not that he doesn't ever lose his temper, but he's able to calm down quickly. He's such a go-with-the-flow guy that he even laughed off his own death.

Wu wei is an important concept in Taoism. It's active non-action, or effortless action - instead of forcing your will on the universe, be in tune with it. Go with the flow. And that's pretty much how Lalo operates. Unlike Gus, who has many meticulous plots and never leaves anything up to chance, Lalo jumps in head first and figures things out as he goes. This makes him a good detective - he goes where his leads take him (all the way to Germany sometimes). It also means he's able to adapt quickly to changing circumstances.

For example, when he's spying on the chicken farm in 4x10, he springs into action when he realizes something's up and is almost able to catch Werner. When his house comes under fire in the middle of the night in 5x10, he immediately switches gears and is able to beat a team of assassins single-handedly by going with the flow, effortlessly taking every opportunity as it arises (using the frying pan of hot oil to blind an attacker, using Ciro's body as a shield, doubling back on his attackers to take them by surprise, etc.) When he learns that Gus bugged the phone at the nursing home, he loses his shit for a minute, pulls himself together, and then spots a cockroach, thinks of Jimmy, and he's off on a completely new path, wasting no time second-guessing himself. There's no reason to get too worked up when things don't go your way, because a new way is bound to open itself up to you if you pay attention.

(That's not to say he never plans - for example, he set up his body double in case he ever needed to fake his death. But I think that was probably also a product of wu wei - by random chance he meets a guy who looks a lot like him, and so he thinks "hey this could be useful later.")

So yeah, I definitely think this could be Lalo's tattoo, not just Tony's! It actually explains a lot about his approach to life.

[puhpandas]

GGY Week Day 2: Comfort

Gregory has to deal with his injury from trapping the mimic and everything else that comes with the experience after dealing with GGY and the Pizzaplex. His injury also took away one of his only escapes. Hurray.

Gregory didnt even get to finish his long, drawn out miserable groan before Vanessa opens the door to his room and comes inside.

He's still doing it when she shuts the door behind her and makes her way to his bed. He doesn't look away from his phone, which he's holding in his lap, even when she approaches.

She wordlessly ducks her head to look at what's on his screen, and when she gets a look at it, that's finally when he finishes.

He frowns, miserably looking at his phone screen. "The Soccer team seems to be having a great time without me."

It had been an impulsive decision one day at school (after he managed to get enrolled again) to join the team after he'd seen a flyer. It had made so much sense at the time. Gregory loved running, (and was very fast for his age), was good at kicking, although for the wrong reasons, and was very tired of being stuck inside with plenty of opportunities to remember everything terrible that's ever happened to him with no breaks.

Ness had been proud of him, that he'd taken a leap like that. Gregory knows how much Vanessa struggles with social interaction after Vanny. Gregory... he was afraid to join the team at first, not because of social anxiety, but for a completely different reason. Rab kept entering his mind, because the last time he made friends...

He... he had been tired of sitting around being nothing but afraid, though. So he did it anyway, and ignored all anxiety digging a hole in his stomach about Rab to try and prove himself wrong.

And it worked. He loved soccer, was great for his team, at least his teammates thought so, and was great with the other kids.

Besides school itself, it's one of the only things he has that gets him out. Out of everything. The house, his head, his funk... Its something important to him. It's a hobby that doesn't have an ulterior motive, like robotics does. He does that because hes good at it, likes it just fine, but also because Freddy needs a guy good with robots to give him the scheduled maintenance he needs to stay functional, and Gregory would sooner jump off the catwalks in Monty Golf than leave Freddy without that.

But soccer... he doesnt have an adult reason to be there. Its fun. He has friends there after so long of having none out of fear and a way to put all of his skills he learned for the wrong reasons to good use. He feels normal there. Like everything with Rab and Tony and Ellis and his parents can be pushed to the back of his mind to just. Have fun. Be a kid.

And now, he's stuck in bed.

It's a little harder to see with how the sunlight from his open blinds glares on his screen, but he gets it clear as day. The team sent him a Snap just to update him on how they're doing while Gregory is away. It's a picture of them on the field, uniforms dirty and cheeks scraped and smiles on their faces. He can feel the adrenaline and good kind of exhaustion through the screen, having experienced it.

Vanessa doesnt respond for a second, just nodding grimly and patting him on the leg. "Sorry to hear that." She says, all formal like she does. Then, "Would some ice cream make you feel better?"

Normally, he'd light up, but he hasnt felt it like that in a while. He nods anyway, a small smile on his face. "Of course."

She goes to the kitchen to make them some. While shes gone, he keeps staring at the picture, feeling the will to get back on the field so strongly but unable to.

When she comes back, it's with two big bowls of ice cream, one scoop for her, and three for Gregory. She knows him well. He takes it from her, once again not looking away from his phone.

She sits next to him on his double bed (one that Vanessa for some reason already had on hand in his room that looked like it hadn't been touched in years) and makes herself comfortable. He leans his head against the wall, his hair brushing up against stray peeling corners of drawings he has hung up.

He sighs through his nose, taking a bite of ice cream and looking through his friends Snap stories. It's all different pictures and point of views of happy faces and the soccer game.

Vanessa hums, looking over his shoulder and working away at her own ice cream. She swallows, then, "Hows your leg?"

Gregory frowns, looking at it. "Fine." He says, but he knows he should give Vanessa a better answer. "Okay, its... its healing good. I try to keep still, but it's hard. Especially because its itching all the time."

"...It doesn't hurt?" Vanessa asks after a second. Gregory can hear the worry in her tone, even though shes trying to hide it. He doesnt blame her. They'd both had worries about its severity when it had still been fresh.

An image of the bloody mess the wound had first been when he got it flashes in his mind, and he shoves it down just as quick. "No." He tells her honestly. "I mean. Besides the sore part... it seems fine."

Vanessa deflates ever so slightly next to him. He knows its relief; Its been this way for the past multiple weeks. Probably months by now. She smiles, although her eyes still look tired, and reaches over to lightly ruffle his hair. "That's good." She says. "Means you'll be able to get back to the field pretty soon."

He nods, but his heart must've not been in it, because then Vanessa is scrutinizing him. He keeps looking at his phone, sighing again. His brows furrow, and every time he sees that picture of the whole team, any will he has to get back on the field with his friends is snuffed out as quick as it comes. It's like he has a flame he's desperately kindling to keep alive, and then someone comes over and dumps a bucket of water on it. Its upsetting.

"How are you doing?" She then asks, nudging him.

Gregory jolts slightly, finally putting his phone down. He stares into his bowl of melting ice cream. "Um..."

He trails off, and Vanessa picks it back up. "Would you want to get back on the field if you could right now?"

Gregory gets taken off guard, gaping at Vanessa for a moment. She hit the nail right on the head. He shouldn't be suprised, at this point. She knows him better than himself, and same with him to her.

He sighs. "...No."

Gregory isnt looking at Vanessa, but can hear her spoon scraping against her bowl. "Why not?"

Gregory doesn't respond right away, just thinking about everything. "It--" He cuts himself off. "I... I'm not feeling it."

Vanessa doesn't respond, so Gregory keeps going. "What happened... it was really bad." He says. "Even if I didn't have this stupid injury, I dont think I'd just be able to..."

"To keep going with life like nothing happened?" Vanessa finishes for him. "I get it, Gregory. Okay? It was just like that for me when I was first freed."

A small bit of pride swells inside Gregory at hearing Vanessa able to talk about it so easily. She doesnt even stutter anymore. It's still not as easy for him. He looks over at her. "It was?"

She nods. "You and Freddy had time to adjust and process. But I..." She trails off, looking like shes remembering every bit. "I just had to keep going so I could make us money. I had to go back to work pretty quickly, and I just... wasnt ready for a routine yet."

Gregory frowns, fidgeting with the strap of his watch. "That sucks."

Vanessa nods. "Yeah." She agrees. "What you went through, Gregory... it's not just something you can brush past."

Gregory sighs through his nose, resignation souring his insides. Against his will, he feels his eyes burn. He thought he was done with this whole getting traumatized and healing stuff. He just wants it to be over. "...I know."

"What I mean is that it's okay to take some time." Vanessa tells him, setting a hand on his arm. "You may not want to, but forcing yourself is even worse than taking time away." She says. "Processing something enough to move past it takes time."

Gregory nods wordlessly, remembering going through regaining his memories on top of dealing with the Pizzaplex. It was awful. He'd just managed to get himself to reconsider hobbies he'd barely remembered having before everything Rab came rushing back, and then he hadn't wanted to anymore, having a whole new can of worms to deal with. A worse one.

He furrows his brows, his shoulders drooping. He doesn't want to do that again. Everything was going so good. He thought they'd finally moved past it.

And then that thing had to rear its ugly head, and Gregory had to use himself as bait just to trap it in a dark hole in the basement.

His leg twitches involuntarily, and he winces at how bad it really is. He forgets it, sometimes. How even though its healing, there'd been worries of lasting damage. How Gregory had just made friends and used his talents of running and fighting to his advantage to join a sport (which eased his worried of falling out of practice as well) and that could have been fully ripped away if his leg decided to heal wrong. (He wouldnt be able to run away anymore.)

How it wasnt an easy wound to explain to the hospital. How it had been made by an eight foot tall monster with big claws and a grudge against him who'd managed to reach a bit too far into a vent a bit too long, too long for Gregory to make it out. How it'd been all his worst nightmares and the cause of everything horrible that's ever happened to him and his family in one big package with a pretty bow and it had bored into him with its red eyes and its limbs had been too long and it'd gotten ahold of his leg and dug its claws into his flesh and ripped and he was sure he was going to die--

He snaps out of it, just barely managing to realize he was spiraling before it happened. He breaths slowly, realizing it had started to get erratic. He fidgets with his watch strap, keeping his gaze away from Vanessa.

Vanessa saw. She clearly did, or she wouldn't be looking at him all worried like she is right now. She doesnt need to say anything. He knows that what just happened alone is proof that he needs to take time off to process. No matter how miserable it makes him that this is happening again when he'd just wanted to finally move on--

His body jerks, and to his horror, he can feel his throat close up and his eyes burn. He frowns deeply, trying to wipe at his face before any tears can fall. It's stupid. It's all stupid.

But before he can shove it completely down, Vanessa puts hers and his bowl onto his nightstand, and shifts her body. "None of that." She tells him, soft as silk. Before he can react, shes carefully gathering him in her arms in a hug.

Gregory tries really hard to not let that be the water that breaks the dam. He stubbornly, even though he doesnt move away from the hug, tries to keep the tears from spilling.

But eventually, it comes out.

He cries silently; that's always how it's been, but not motionlessly. His shoulders shake and jerk as tears slip past his eyelashes, and he hugs Vanessa back.

"I know it sucks." Vanessa tells him, not trying to baby him or shush him, because she knows he hates that. "That you have to keep going through this stuff over and over--" Her own voice gets choked up, and he can hear her swallow. "And I'm-- I'm sorry. But you cant let it get to you."

Gregory sniffs, nodding against her chest. He gets what she means. He cant let it get to him, as in he cant let that thing win. He cant let it ruin all that hes built for himself-- they've built for themselves because it's hard. It was hard before. It was really, really hard. Knowing that he killed all those people. That his parents are dead and his whole life was destroyed and his friend that he'd had to watch bond with not-him got killed thinking he was betrayed.

But he got past it. He got better and healed and was able to code without curling up into a ball and hyperventilating, and draw the nightmares he had to process them. It had taken time, but he was better.

He snakes an arm back to wipe at his eyes. This? Compared to Rab? This is nothing. That thing with its glowing eyes and its claws and its tunnel deep gashes in his leg that almost ruined something great in his life is nothing--

Okay, so maybe it isnt nothing. But its nothing he cant handle. Hes nothing if not stubborn, and he isnt going to let that thing take away something else. Scars or not.

"Thanks." Gregory mumbles into Vanessa's shirt. "I needed that."

"You'll get back onto the field someday." Vanessa tells him, a hand in his hair. "And your friends are gonna dogpile you when you return and you'll be able to run and score as many goals as you want."

Gregory nods, squeezing her tighter. "I'll just have to make tons of robots in robotics for now."

Vanessa chuckles, ruffling his hair. "Yeah, kid." She says. "Go on and pick up a fourth talent while you're at it, dont you."

The tears stop falling, and the tracks dry on his cheeks as he pushes against the hug, shoving at Vanessa playfully. "Its not my fault you're talentless. Don't be jealous."

She pushes back at him, careful of his healing lower half, a grin on her face. "Says the boy currently under the blanket I hand sewed for him."

Gregory laughs, shoving and pulling and pushing at Vanessa, and her back. He may not feel one hundred percent right now, but who knows how fast itll take him to heal. Theres nothing saying he wont be ready by the time his leg heals. Maybe he'll reach a new record.

Almost taking no effort, he shoves down the reminder of high scores and records being associated with Rab immediately. Even quicker, he moves past it.

ao3 link

[polizwrites]

Close Encounters of the Blue-Eyed Kind

This is a fill for today’s @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt [#FFF289 Blinding Gaze] and my brand new Beginnings Bingo (courtesy of @sweetspicybingo) square A2 - First Impression.

Fandom:  MCU/Marvel Pairing: Tony Stark/Steve Rogers  Tags:  Double Drabble, College AU, No Powers AU,  Meet Cute/Meet Ugly  Summary: Tony’s always in a hurry, but a mishap in the coffee shop gives him a reason to slow down.   Word Count: 200 words 

Admittedly, Tony was in a hurry. He was always in a hurry these days.  He also was desperately in need of coffee and pushed through the crowd to pick up his order.  He turned back to the door to rush to class  and ran right into a broad muscular chest, very nearly crushing the cup he was carrying  between them. 

He staggered back a step, hissing at the hot liquid that had splashed on his hand;  the handsome  hunk of a man he’d collided with reached out to steady him.   “Whoa!  You okay?” 

Tony looked up into a pair of beautiful bright blue eyes, so close he could see a few flecks of green.   “Uh… uh huh.  Um - how about you?” 

The guy glanced down to his hoodie, brushing off the dark drops  that had spilled on him.  “I’m fine.  Sorry about your coffee.” 

Tony glanced down to see the lid of his cup had been knocked askew and almost a quarter of the elixir of life had splashed out.  “Oh.” 

“Can I buy you a new one?”  The earnest expression in his new companion’s eyes drew Tony in like a magnet.  Some things might be worth slowing down for.  

[imawreck]

Experiments

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Original Character

Summary: The team tries to decide once again what to do with the girl. Tests are attempted, and fail miserably with jarring consequences. Bucky is there to calm the storm.

Author's Note: This chapter has a lot of heavy topics so please read with caution!

Warnings: Internal thoughts are italicized as well as flashbacks and communications in other languages, symptoms of PTSD, needles, panic attacks, mentions of past experiments

Word Count: 2,050

Bucky-

With only a simple statement my head was cleaved in two. She had watched them wipe my mind. Flashes of worn black leather and blinding overhanging lights swirled in my head, and the voices of the doctors echoed against the walls of my skull. Blue eyes, sorrow filled and bleary with tears, were so familiar to me and yet I felt like I didn't know them at all. Brown hair, long and tangled, caught the dim lights in auburn flickers. It was her, I knew that, but she looked nothing like the woman I had just left in that cell. This one was raw and broken... scared.

A man, Strucker, stood behind two guards that managed to wrangle her to her knees. He firmly grasped her hair in his gloved hand, the other gripping her chin hard enough to leave bruises, forcing her to watch as the doctors strapped me to the chair.

Another flash and wave of pain had me doubled against the cool wall of the elevator. I tasted rubber and my jaw clenched against it as the metal brace was clicked into place over my forehead. The girl cried harder. I had to remember her name. She had told me just once that I could remember. My heart ached as the tears soaked the collar of her shirt. I couldn't forget her.

"Please," she had begged, "please don't do this, he doesn't deserve this!"

There was a click and then my body erupted in agony. I have to... remember her name...M-

The aching in my head slowly subsided and a faint voice filled my ears.

"..gent Barnes. Sergeant Barnes, I'm picking up high levels of stress, should I notify Captain Rogers?"

I groaned, rubbing my temples. "No, no it's nothing. Don't tell Steve."

"Of course Sir."

I slammed my floor number and slumped back against the wall, letting the cool metal sooth my oncoming headache.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The next couple of days were spent debating the girls' situation. After her clear display of strength and her outright saying she would comply to any commands, the team had a lot to consider. Strength was always a great ally, but we still didn't know if she was unhinged or stable. Letting her roam free in the tower was a safety hazard and letting her on missions was absolutely out of the question. So what would we do with her?

"Well, we could just leave Snow White in there for now and send Banner to run tests to see exactly what we're dealing with." Tony had given her the nickname Snow White, and the others had taken it up while discussing her. None of us felt like it was right to call her Ghost.

"We can't keep her in a cell forever Tony." Steve drew lazy circles on the metal table in front of us as he shook his head. "She's told us that she was willing to listen to us. I think we should give her a shot. At least let her out."

Tony let out a scoff, "Listen Cap, you might've been able to blindly trust people back in your day, but there's this thing called lying-"

"Tony-" Nat cut in, eyeing him from her seat next to a nervous looking Banner. "The sarcasm isn't helping. Steve is right, I think we should at least give her a room. We can have Friday lock it when need be."

Tony gripped the back of his empty chair, the leather squeeked beneath his grip. "Fine, but from this moment forward she will never be alone in this tower. She is not allowed to be alone with you either, Barnes. We don't know if its safe for her to be around you. Cap, that means you take care of her. Both of you are responsible for anything that happens."

I nodded silently as Steve muttered an agreement under his breath. I didn't exactly agree with not having any alone time with her, I had a lot of personal questions I wanted to ask the girl. I did, however, understand Tony's concern. She was a security risk. A willing Hydra agent for so long doesn't just up and get soft over one measly experiment. She had to be leaving something out.

Everyone trickled out of the meeting room leaving Steve and I to stare at our warped reflections looking back at us on the table. "I just couldn't leave her there Steve."

"I know Buck." Steve dragged a hand down his face. "I just really hope you're right about her."

I nodded slowly, "Me too."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Ghost-

It had been three days since I had seen Winter. I had remembered his name late evening of my rescue. He hadn't returned to speak with me, and a man known as Banner was sent to bring me food and water. The food wasn't anything like what I was used to. It wasn't bland or grey, but overwhelming. I hardly ate much of what I was given, unable to keep much of it down.

Captain America came to visit with Banner one day and I had caught a glimpse of  long brown hair and those steely blue eyes. From then on I was hyper aware of that metallic clink just outside the door. Always close but out of reach.

I wanted to know him, to see if he remembered anything. To see if he remembered me. I had only been mind-wiped a handful of times since his escape, all were unbearably painful. Though they never succeeded in keeping my memories away from me. I'd regain my full memory in just a few hours after the wipe. They had given up after the tenth round and stuck me in cryo.

I had never stopped trying to escape to find him. For a brief time I was certain he would return for me. That our odd but significant connection would stick with him through his maze of a mind. But after the first year that hope had diminished. I had become so diluted after that. All of the feelings I had conjured for the soldier had locked themselves away and I had become a ruthless machine. I was used for executions due to the short amount of time the wipe stayed present over my mind, but afterwards they would put me away in the ice until another death was needed.

A knock on the plexiglass had me wide eyed and alert. Dark hair, shy smile, white coat. Banner stood just outside the glass door, clipboard in hand and a cart just a few feet away. "Hi, Uh..." He cleared his throat and pointed awkwardly towards the cart beside him, "I have to run some tests on you. Please stay away from the door."

Banner entered my cell, dragging the cart behind him. I didn't move from my spot on the floor. My heart unwillingly began to hammer against my rib cage as flashes of past 'tests' I had undergone while in the confines of the Hydra facility crept into my mind. I shuddered as a wave of nausea rolled through me. I had to remind myself that this wasn't the same place, that these people weren't like that. The nerves still stirred.

Banner continued to haul the cart closer until he was a few feet from me, and spoke kindly. "I know you probably don't have the best experiences with tests like these but I want to assure you that none of what we're doing here will harm you. We just need a few vials of blood and a brain scan. The brain scan can wait if it's too much for you today."

I nodded numbly. I heard the faint whir of machinery just beyond the door and the nerves subsided if only for a moment. He was near. I would be fine.

Banner smiled again and began assembling some sort of enhanced syringe by the looks of it, screwing in a needle and tube on opposite ends. The metallic clanking made my anxiety spike and I struggled to keep my breathing even. He had finally finished scouring to the table by the time it had taken me to count to 76. My hands were shaking and my breathing was forceful and heavy.

He looked at me, unsure, "Take it easy, I'm not here to hurt you."

I gritted my teeth, "Just get it over with and get the hell out."

He hurriedly situated the needle over my arm, wiping it roughly with a swab. The scent stung my nose. He pressed the needle down towards my skin and the syringe creaked. "I-I can't get it through your skin."

My heart hammered against my chest as I cursed, gripping the end of the gun and wrapping my hand over his own on the trigger, shoving it into the vein. He yelped as I curled my finger on the trigger, staring at the wall opposite of me to distract myself from the tell tale signs of a panic attack. A click resounded, signaling the end of extraction. I yanked the needle out and shoved the mechanism against his chest.

I had begun breathing erratically now, shallow and fast. When I spoke it was more of a shout, "Get out. Get out right now." And that he did, leaving his empty metal cart in his wake.

It was the first to go. I swung out blindly, my fingers dancing over the metal before launching it into the glass. It crashed to the floor and the glass cracked further, small shards of it toppling to the floor. I pulled at my hair as the memories swirled. Blinding lights, scalpels cutting me open to watch me heal and then repeating again. Endlessly. Injections never seemed to stop. Needles all the time.

Faintly, I recognized alarms blaring. I had to get out.

I slammed my heel into the crack, attacking the weak point. Glass came raining down overhead. The bones in my left foot were shattered. My mind continued to swim as did my vision.

And then blue was all I could see. Scared, honest, raging blue eyes. His lips were moving but I realized I couldn't hear him. I focused hard on their movement. 'Hey, hey' he seemed to say. 'You're okay.'

I was okay.

'Breathe.'

I took in a shaky breath. Out. In again, repeat. I was okay.

I studied his face as the rest of the world began to come back to me. He hadn't shaved in a few days. It suited him. The panic in his eyes had subsided, and they now watched me in the same way I was watching him. Unsure and hesitant.

He blinked suddenly, as if realizing something and his hands slipped from my face, where I hadn't realized they had rested. I immediately longed for them to return. Something cool fanned over my face and I swiped a hand over my cheek, drawing it away. Wet. I had been crying. What a fool I had made of myself over such a small thing. I pushed myself upwards onto my knees, shoving up from there on one steady leg. Pain reverberated through the other and I swallowed the lump sitting in my sore throat. I had been screaming too, it seemed.

"I apologize," I stared at the ground. "I think it would be best not to run tests until my mind has had the time to mend itself. I seem to have post traumatic stress and it would be unsafe for Doctor Banner to operate until I recover."

I glanced up at him once again and he just stared. Hatred brewed in his eyes and his hands shook. "What did they do to you?"

I blinked slowly, desperately trying to hold up my blank exterior. "Hydra has made me a fully self sufficient soldier. The process of achieving such a goal was rather unpleasant and required many failed attempts. Regeneration was one of their main focuses. I was put through many trials to perfect it." I lowered my eyes once again. "If you'll please leave me, I have to reset the bones in my foot or else I'll be crippled." I walked a few feet before pausing, throwing over my shoulder, "Ask them to turn coms off. It won't be pleasant to hear."

[aficionadoenthusiast]

hi! i also love comedy! any chance we could get some more funny fic recs?

yes, absolutely!

pjo

sorry, don't have a ton of these, I tend to read more serious fics for this fandom

keeping it fruity by buoyantsaturn; valgrace, T, 4k; Leo is both so relatable and so silly, I love it

Leo huffed. “Sorry, I just don’t think I can support such senseless violence,” he grumbled, knowing that all of the excuses he and Nico had come up with over the last few years would be useless by that point. “What is a sport, really, if not an excuse to beat some stranger to a pulp?”

sex education by CordeliaRose; solangelo, E & M, 5-20k; I'm not normally a fan of smut, so if this one got me to read smut, you know it's good

Percy tries to give Nico a sex talk. It goes about as well as anyone could have predicted.

marvel

shelter order by deniigiq; team red, G, 46k; team red quarantine group chat fic, need I say more?

Little Spidey (Pink): Hello Twitter. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Spiderman has decided that we should share with you all our private chat. We will be doing so on the condition that y’all remain cool about it. You gonna be cool? (Peter decides to raise spirits of those in isolation by sharing parts of the Team Red chat online day by day.)

Fishing Isn’t Fair to the Fish by NezumiPi; defenders, T, 17k; I was not expecting this one to have so much humor. or an exorcism.

Spoilers for Defenders S1 and prior individual shows. In a magnificent display of poor judgment, Luke Cage invites the Defenders on an upstate fishing trip in they can get to know one another better and perhaps smooth over some minor interpersonal conflicts. Contains (in no particular order): Minor interpersonal conflicts, major interpersonal conflicts, moderate impersonal conflicts, Danny Rand’s undergarments, porn for the blind, misuse of pharmaceuticals, talking swans, occasional fishing, and some seriously unpleasant business.

Mr. Stark's Home for Idiot Teenagers by OffToNewPastures; Iron family, T, 98k; tbh it's been so long since I read this one that I don't remember what it's about, but I have it marked as funny, so here you go

Peter is there, slumped over the kitchen island, slowly cramming spoonfuls of Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp into his mouth, hair tousled and sticking up every which way, and Tony realizes with sudden clarity that he’s fighting a losing battle. Maybe not today, maybe he can put it off for a while, but someday he’s just going to have to give up and love this ridiculous kid. - In which Tony Stark learns object lessons about love, sacrifice, death, friendship, and parenthood; and makes his peace with the unfortunate reality that his penthouse will be crawling with asshole teenagers every weekend for the foreseeable future. Follows canon...loosely. Ahem.

Chaotic Peter by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so; Iron family, T, 15-20k; this one is hilarious and painful and gripping and so so beautiful, and it has a logical path to the Iron family trope that doesn't make me cringe. I stayed up to 5 am on a weekday reading it. No regrets. (My note on ao3: "Reread first story to laugh until you cry, reread second part to feel something," if anyone was doubting how I feel about this fic.)

"Is there a reason you're calling this late at night?" Tony asks, worried in spite of himself. "Tell me what's going on, kid." “Everything is one-hundred-percent fine,” Peter says. “Seriously, I've never been better. But I should let you know I have about thirty bricks of cocaine in my bedroom. Also, Karen won't let me turn off Instant Kill Mode. Also, Walmart discontinued my special razzleberry pink squeezy lemonade. Which isn't related to tonight's patrol, I'm just bummed about it.”  Or: The five times Instant Kill Mode is activated +1

Super Duper Side Effects by awesomesockes, whumphoarder; Avengers, T, 16k; most mcu fans probably recognize this one and know it's hilarious

The downside of an enhanced metabolism is that it renders most drugs completely ineffective. Captain America accepted this long ago as an occupational hazard. But after Peter sustains a serious injury in the line of duty and the doctors have no way to manage the pain, Steve decides to volunteer as a test subject for Bruce and Tony’s experimental super drug. However, the soldier ends up getting a little more than he bargained for. (Alternative title: Original Drug Tester: Steve Rogers)

Obligatory mention of the fic that caused this ask:

in technicolor by deniigiq; Marvel's various NYC vigilantes & Brett Mahoney, not rated (I'd give it a T), 120k; again. the observor pov gives the idea of wildlife being studied in their natural habitat, and it is so. fucking. funny.

Brett sighed and looked down at the folder in his hand. “Your name is Peter, right?” “Lawyer.” “Peter, we haven’t even started talking. Let’s just take a minute to ease up.” “Lawyer.” “Bud, we haven’t charged you with a crime. This is just talking.” “Law. Yer.” Goddamn. (Brett's encounters with Team Red/vigilantes and their weird fucking way of helping)

hp

Still Preoccupied... With 1979 by darkbluedark; drarry (+jily & wolfstar), T, 15-20k; pre drarry accidental time travel hanging onto their rivalry for convenience? hilarious.

It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties. (This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)

sirius black and the "mystery girl" by tjmcharg; wolfstar, T, 29k; heteronormativity but for humor reasons

"You can't tell me who you're with?" Lily smiles at him hopefully. Sirius laughs. "Alright Evans, if you're so curious, I have a proposition for you" "We'll set up a little bet, you have until the end of the school year - so two months - to work out who I'm dating, or..." he pauses to think and with an evil smirk decides, "or you have to ask your crush out on a date."

pair of tossers with a cat by moonymoment; wolfstar, G, 10k; a cat nearly destroys them. in the middle of a war.

Something seemed to dawn on Remus then; something so obvious he couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before. He frowned and looked at Sirius quizzically. “What?” “Are you…” Remus began, gaping slightly, “jealous of the cat, Sirius?” Sirius looked down. “I’m not jealous of the cat.” “You’re jealous of the cat!” “I am not jealous of the bloody cat.” Remus finds a stray cat on the street and brings it in. Sirius is not impressed. Chaos ensues.

(fuck jkr. for those of you who don't know me.)

(if y'all have any especially funny fics you wanna share, i would not be opposed 👀) (especially marvel and pjo 👀👀)

[ursafootprints]

17 & 18 ❤️❤️

17. Share your favorite opening line

This older Tony told him that he was picked because he's special, but Peter isn't stupid. In the brief glimpse he was allowed to see of the other Peters out there on that monitor, he noticed that most of them were older. Stronger. Actually special.

From the first double-blind/Pyrite kidnapping AU snippet! I feel like it met my goals of quickly establishing some things about how SIM!Tony approached forming his dynamic with P!Peter, and I also liked how it set up the ending of the snippet where Peter decides to snatch a Spidey!Peter to save him, haha.

18. Share your favorite ending line

Before unconsciousness dragged Tony under, he was aware of one last thought, proud and rueful and devastated: Of all his mistakes, rare as they were, his biggest ones were always underestimating Peter.

From the end of double-blind! I really liked bringing this full circle-- underestimating Peter's independence/autonomy is what allowed Peter to get away with being Spider-man under Tony's nose in the first place (and thus also what led to the story's inciting tragedy,) and underestimating Peter again is what led to Tony's downfall. I love a good parallel, as you can see!

Thank you for playing! 💖