#because gosh that book has summerized soo many

[mc-critical]

I see you’ve read/seen a lot of interpretations of this story. I am only familiar with Magnificent Century, Falconer’s book and Kadin, written by Bertrice Small, whose books are very enjoyable if you don’t take them seriously. It makes me wonder, how do the depictions of Hürrem and Süleyman’s story you’ve read compare to each other?

Heh, I haven't seen/read all that much in its entirety. Aside from Magnificent Century, I've read Pavlo Zagrebelny's novel, Colin Falconer's book, Demet Altınyeleklioglu's "Hürrem", have watched "Hürrem Sultan", the Turkish 8-episode long miniseries aired in 2003 and am familiar with the brief summaries of some early plays of Hürrem's story, described in "Roxelane in European Literature, History and Culture".

As works of art, I enjoy all of these for what they are. There is stuff each of them did right and each of them did wrong in adapting this story in their respective formats. I understand the corners some of them had to cut (though Hürrem Sultan 2003 cut way too many corners), I understand (most of) the compromises they did in order to present their own themes and voice.

Say, Colin Falconer's book truly is a satire that I could never take seriously in terms of Hürrem and Süleiman, but it did something no other interpretation did plausibly enough in my eyes, and that is: showing precisely how Süleiman fell in love with Hürrem and fell out of love with Mahidevran. We got a decent presentation of what he likes in both of them and what does Hürrem have more of. Now, is it also because she somehow dares to enjoy sex unlike the other girls, aside from the other obvious traits of hers like giving good political advice, playing instruments and making him laugh? Yes, of course, because it's "The Sultan's Harem" by Falconer and I expect nothing else. But the process was at least gradual enough and we had enough of his feelings presented and enough chamber scenes that contrast both of them for me not to question it at all. With the other interpretations, something was missing for me - it was all either very forced and plot-convenient (like in DA's book, where Valide loved Mahidevran and YET, wanted to introduce Hürrem to SS and THEN telling herself she played no part at all in SS's falling out with Mahi, we also had Mahidevran that is very extra and taking no crap at all, beating her maids with a stick every time she got angry, and THEN we have her saying that she was never once jealous, never this temperamental since Hürrem, which is very unbelievable in her case, AND we have SS saying that he has never felt joy since the death of prince Mahmud from the book's equivalent of Gülfem, which... then what were you doing with Mahi for so many years, you unbelivable hypocrite?), either very sudden and not fleshed out at all (like in the 2003 series, where we had a literal 1 year time-skip the second after Hü entered the harem and then she went to SS's chamber and.. that was basically it, they became pretty much inseparable since then.). To be honest, Pavlo Zagrebelny hits way more marks in this, compared to all these examples, but the way the beating happened and its part of the falling even more in love process is... less than stellar. MC's problem is that the reasons he fell in love with Hürrem were far more implicit than explicit until.. season 4, basically, these precious scenes where they laughed together were reserved only for the first earlier episodes and then the "concubine arcs" came, which also did a lot to blur their "amazing love". The plays at least take the standard approach (love at first sight after Hü being presented to Valide and/or Hü winning him over), but yeah, Falconer's take takes the cake here, despite of all the negative implications.

All these interpretations aren't that big on historical accuracy, since while they follow the same framework, they are more than willing to detach from the known facts and/or chronology when the plot, themes and character motivations demand it. Pavlo Zagrebelny placed Bayezid's execution way earlier, when Hürrem was alive, for her tragedy to become even more heartbreaking. DA had Hürrem have an affair with a wealthy merchant in the name of Frederick (which happened.. a while before Selim's birth, of course, so there was some doubt Selim was Frederick's...) and Iskender Pasha's (their equivalent to MC Iskender Celebi) wife be infatuated with Hürrem. Hürrem Sultan 2003 for some reason had Mehmet be sent to Amasya instead of Manisa. Which is the most historically accurate?? Probably none. Hürrem 2003 and Pavlo Zagrebelny's book are pretty up there, however, because Bayezid's execution was the only time I recall they did some change, but I could be wrong. (at least that was the only glaring, major change) Hürrem Sultan 2003 was more of a documentary series than a serial drama, tragedy or the like and we could say it is more accurate in comparison to the others, but for its own 8 episodes it doesn't stand out as much. But, oh no, don't get me started on the plays, because they're more ridiculous than even Falconer. Like the one with the outrightly soapy twist where they have switched the children, so Mustafa turns out to be the son of Hürrem (she's even called Regina there!), but Hürrem learns it only when she had already played her part to kill him. Those are truly peak comedy! 🤣 The harem titles are a mess everywhere, though. And no version of the story, Zagrebelny's aside, gave Hürrem's haseki title the gravitas it got historically, with Mahidevran even being a Haseki both in the 2003 series and in DA's book, so fans, this isn't Magnificent Century's invention, thank you very much.

The portrayal of the various characters mostly depends on which side the writers are on and where they want to put nuance. Pavlo Zagrebelny, with his work being rooted completely in Hürrem's favor, has the rest of the characters aside from Süleiman very antagonized to mirror the toxic Ottoman system Anastasia (yes, Hü is Anastasia Lisovska there) has found herself in, but I think they're nuanced enough to be realistic, unlike the satirical caricatures and one-dimensional archetypes Falconer cooked up. Demet Altınyeleklioglu had more than decent characterization overall, despite of some failings here and there. (like her Mahidevran being a mixed bag that is guilty-pleasure material, Ibrahim's motivations being too vague at times, regardless of his depth and their Hatice being.. Aybige 2.0, which is also 2003 Şah Sultan, by the way.) Hürrem Sultan 2003 had a problem with this, because of its more documentary nature. It only shows the historical events in depth enough to say "Well, that happened!" and nothing more. Is it because they had to compress time or rush stuff when the show didn't succeed as much as they expected it would? Is it because they found themselves lacking time to flesh out the characters and put them through arcs post-E05? It is because they didn't want to touch the issue of Mustafa's death yet, so that's why it happened so ridiculously and came out of absolutely nowhere? Nobody knows. Still, I think Magnificent Century succeeded to have almost everyone get a glimpse of spotlight, while these interpretations were more focused on one particular story, giving much less attention to everything else.

Aside from Falconer's take, I liked all the Hürrems in the fictional interpretations I have read /seen. As I said, DA's Hürrem is perhaps the one I could see as the historical figure - both nuanced and realistic. She has been taught haremly manners back in the Crimean saray AND engrained in the life of the wild animals in the forest before that since the age of 14/15, which creates a juicy combination of wit, charisma, lost innocence and character depth. Her motivations are particularly interesting - what is driving her her personal determination to be remembered for what she is and what she does, not what she used to be, which is an empowering catalyst to her will to survive. We see how she does all these little steps to get to the top, detaching from her past as a result, and that is shown throughout the whole story, unlike in Magnificent Century, and she wants to do it, unlike Pavlo Zagrebelny's character. This determination of hers to become something remarkable is moved by all the trauma she had experienced and she constantly has to fight with the belief that one could never go past where they've come from. She, like Meryem Uzerli's Hürrem, is both emotional and smart. Honestly, her hypocrisy and the ways in which she manipulates could get to my nerves and I can't really root for her, like MC or Zagrebelny's Hürrem, but she truly is a fascinating character. Zagrebelny's character is also very sympathetic, with her getting higher and highter positions, but never forgetting where she came from, never forgiving them for taking her childhood away from her. Her story is probably the most tragic one right from the start, since the more she rises in the hierarchy, the more she remembers her own background and this palace truly feels like a cage for her, taking so much of her strength to keep it all together. I feel the funny side of her character is focused the most on out of all the interpretations, because of the numerous scenes she laughs (also because she feels cold and that's the only way she knows how to diminish it and lighten up the mood in the cold palace) and because the very first thing the harem remembers her with, is her laugh that contrasts with all else. Her ambitious hatred for Süleiman could be very overplayed, especially near the end, but I let it slide because it works more often that it doesn't. (and the most powerful poem in the book wouldn't have existed, if it weren't for her hatred for SS!) Hürrem in the 2003 series is fine, but underwritten, like literally every other character there except Valide Hafsa, but she is harmless enough and her best moments are with SS and that's a rare and precious thing to have. The plays have Hürrem portrayed mostly in extremes (with some nuanced takes here and there), but the ways some of them establish her character can be very unique and imaginative. (like the one in which they did that through an in-depth interview with her!)

Süleiman is... there, but that's to be expected, since these aren't his stories. The most fleshed out Süleiman is of course, MC Süleiman from our beloved Halit Ergenç. Whether we like him or not, he had a well-developed character arc and was very well written and deconstructed. Next to him is probably Zagrebelny's SS, but outside of his love for Hürrem, I feel he is characterized more through descriptions of his historical campaigns and of his actions for the state than dialogue. The others weren't as memorable, but I give 2003 SS props for not acting like a total douchebag after the beating.

[detectivejigsawpines]

Relatively Relativity-part 2 (Some adjustments required)

Eventually, the worst of the noise subsided.

Only for Mabel to take another look at her boy grunkles, and make them nearly jump out of their skins with her amazed and delighted squeal of, “Oh my gosh, you guys are so CUUUUUTEEEE!!!!”

“Gah!”  Stan saw the impending doom, and tried too late to escape from one of her arms snatching him up into a hug.  Seconds later Ford was grabbed by her other arm, and made a strangled noise as he had what felt like all of his air squeezed out of him.

Mabel actually lifted both of them off their feet in her enthusiasm, swinging them back and forth with far more strength than someone her age should have been capable of when they hadn’t spent years living on the streets or traveling the multiverse.  “You guys are just the most precious little pair of sweeties I’ve ever seen!  As soon as we get home I’m making you both tiny sweaters and taking a hundred pictures!!”

“Mabel-leggo-we need air-” Stan struggled, and finally just rolled up her sleeve and licked her arm.  Even though she was more often than not guilty of using the same tactic, it was enough to make her release them.

Dipper was by now curled up in the fetal position against a tree, rocking back and forth and gasping, “Not again, not again, this can’t be happening again!”  He glanced down at himself.  “I mean, at least I’m still in my own body, so that’s nice.”  He resumed rocking.  “But this still can’t be happening!”

“Okay, okay, everybody STOP!”

Ford waited until all eyes were on him, and then climbed up onto a nearby convenient tree stump.  He adjusted his glasses in a way that looked soothingly Ford-like even in his tiny child body and higher-pitched voice.  “Let’s all just calm down for a second.”

He glanced over at the flower, and saw with concern that it had wilted, with all the petals lying in a heap around the stem.

That can’t be good.

“...I think we all need to go home so I can examine that-” he pointed to the remains of the flower- “and figure out what kind of spell it cast on us.  This is nothing to panic over.”

“Nothing to panic over?!” Dipper demanded.  Fascinating; even with his voice fully developed he still managed to make it crack to an astonishing degree.  “Look at me, Grunkle Ford!  I’m old!”

“Yeah, and if ya don’t figure out how ta calm down you’re probably gonna start giving yourself a heart attack!” Stan said.

“Stanley!  That is not helpful!” Ford snapped, hopping off the stump and going to his nephew’s side.

“...Sorry.”  Stan joined him, and Mabel crouched down on Dipper’s other side.  Three hands rubbed his shoulders as he pushed his head between his knees.

After a minute Dipper took a few deep breaths, and then slowly got to his feet.  He still looked shaken up by the situation, but at least he had calmed down a little.  “Ugh, ow.  Do your guys’s joints creak this much when you have to stand up?”

“Oh yeah.  It’s even worse first thing in the morning.”  Stan stretched his back, and then his eyes widened in delight.  “Whoa, wait.  It’s been years since I’ve been able ta do that without it feelin’ all messed up!”  He looked down at his legs, and a wide smile stretched across his cheeks.

Before Ford could stop him, he took off running back down the trail with a whoop.

“Stanley!  Stanley, get back here!  We have to-”

Stan was already practically out of sight.  Ford groaned, and shrugged off his now-giant backpack which he had barely realized he was still wearing.  He glanced at the-well, technically the children, they still had the minds of thirteen-year-olds.  “Find something to put that flower in, would you?”

Then he chased after his brother.

****

Ford was disconcerted when he realized, very quickly, that his body had reverted back to the physical limitations he had possessed at this age.

Back then, while it was all well and good to go running around on the beach with Stan, chasing the waves or the sea gulls or each other, he had hated exercise when there were far more enjoyable options available, like reading his books or just sitting and drawing something.  He hadn’t gotten into the habit of going for long walks in the woods, or been forced to spend a lot of time running for his life from interdimensional bounty hunters.

Soon enough Ford was forced to slow down because of the stitch in his side, and double over gasping with the need to get more air into his lungs.

He clenched his fists against his knees in frustration, because he knew that he was capable of running faster than this, at least when he was in his regular body, he’d done it a million times, and now he couldn’t.

A few moments later he heard the thud of boots pounding against the ground, and a familiar out-of-breath voice.

“Whoo!  What a rush!  If I tried doin’ that when I was old I’d have ta sit on the couch for a week afterwards!  Ha!  Who’s an old fossil now, Mabel?”

Coming from the man (boy?  Shoot, that was going to get confusing pretty fast) who was capable of punching out giant squid monsters and outrunning angry leprechauns while carrying a heavy treasure chest, that was definitely an exaggeration.  But Ford was too busy trying to stop wheezing to call him on it.

“...You okay, Poindexter?” Stan asked, reaching out and touching his shoulder.

Ford lifted his eyes until they met his twin’s.  “W-We...should probably...go back to the kids.  I realize...you’re excited...about rediscovering your youth...but they’re not enjoying this as much as you are.”

Stan gave him a chagrined grimace.  “...Oh yeah.  Sorry.”

Ford patted his arm as he straightened up.  “‘S’ okay.  I get it.  It feels good to get some of those aches out of my bones.”

“Yeah, no kidding!”  Stan looked down at his arms with wide eyes.  “Can you believe these things were ever this skinny?”

Ford snorted.  “Your face is back to being mostly nose, though.”

“Hey!”  Stan slugged him in the arm.  “Take a look in the mirror, genius-you’re not much better off!”

Ford punched him back, giggling.

He was a little surprised by how natural a sound that felt to make, now that he was no longer an old man.

****

It turned out that Dipper had emptied out part of one of the water bottles, and then dug the flower out-roots and all, just in case-before placing it and its petals inside.  He’d even managed to get some pollen samples and add them to the inside of the bottle.

“Good job, Dipper!” Ford praised him, accepting it and slipping it into his backpack.  Then he straightened up, puffing out his chest.  “Okay, let’s get this back to the lab, and turn ourselves back to normal!”

Mabel cooed and clasped her hands together at her chin.  “Awww, you sound so adorable when you say stuff like that now!”

...Ford couldn’t help feeling like she was spoiling the gravitas of the moment.  He tried to ignore Stan’s wide smirk, and adjusted his coat collar with a cough before he started marching back the way they’d come.

****

A new problem arose when they reached the car.

Stan dug into his pocket and pulled out the keys, and just as he was unlocking the car Dipper grabbed his shoulder.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Stan raised an eyebrow at him, in a way that was still very grunkle-like despite his young face.  “Gettin’ ready ta drive us home.”

“Grunkle Stan, you’re thirteen now!  You can’t be the one driving!”

The boy folded his arms.  “Uh, last I checked, you didn’t exactly have a driver’s license, kid.”

Dipper faltered.  “I-I know how to drive the golf cart!”

“Not the same.  Besides, remind me how many times you crashed it last summer?”

“Oh, like your driving is any safer!”  Dipper lunged for the keys.

Stan jumped out of reach.  “Fair point, but this is still my car!  And nobody but nobody is allowed ta drive it but me!”

Dipper chased after him, meaning that they were suddenly running around the car, with Stan defiantly holding the keys out of his elderly nephew’s reach.  “We’re gonna get pulled over if the cops see you behind the wheel, Grunkle Stan!  Be reasonable!”

“Never!  I’m not lettin’ you scratch up my car cuz you-”

Mabel finally stepped between them.  “Boys, boys!  I have a solution that’ll fix everything!”

****

Five minutes later, Dipper was in the driver’s seat, with Stan sitting on his lap, head tucked against his shoulder.  Dipper’s feet worked the gas and brakes at his grunkle’s command, while Stan did the steering and watched the road with his newly improved vision.  Neither of them looked pleased with this solution, but they’d had to admit that they hadn’t been able to think of a better one.

Mabel and Ford sat in the back, with the water bottle containing the flower clenched in Ford’s lap.  He stared at it thoughtfully, scribbling notes in his journal and thinking about other experiences with enchanted plants, and how they might compare to this one.

Unnoticed by him, Mabel had pulled a cloth tape measure out of her pocket and was taking his measurements; already she was thinking about what kind of sweaters to make him and Stan.  Because on the one hand, both of them seemed to like the color red, and looked pretty good in it; on the other hand, this was a special occasion, and maybe she should make something in blue, or green, or gold.  Maybe all of them together?  Decisions, decisions…

She was still thinking about her options when the car pulled up in front of the Mystery Shack.  Stan turned the engine off, and unbuckled himself and Dipper.

“Geez you’ve got bony knees,” he said dryly as he looked up at his nephew.

Dipper snorted.  “Now you know how I feel.”

Fortunately Stan’s mood had improved enough for him to grin before opening the car door and bounding up the steps of the porch.

“Soos, we’re home!” he called as he opened the door.

A few seconds later there was a startled yelp, and a thud.

A little bit after that, the front door opened again, and Stan peered uneasily out at his family.

“...Guys?  I think I just killed Soos.”

********

Don’t worry, I didn’t actually kill Soos.

I’m not that much of a monster.

Usually.

[rmjagonshi]

Whole Again - Chapter 22 A Family in Waiting

Whole Again on AO3

Mason hears Mabel leave the room with the tablet before he opens his eyes. But he doesn’t follow. He wants to talk to Ford, but…there really isn’t much left to say. He doesn’t know how to feel about this. He doesn’t know how to feel about his uncle. He’s mad at him. More so tonight than any other. His behavior the last few weeks has been…unsettling. He’s become aggressive…violent and dismissive of anything or anyone who doesn’t outright agree with his hypotheses.

Mason still believes that Ford is one of the most brilliant minds of their time, but he’s starting to realize just how egotistical and brutal of a person that brilliance can foster.

The worst part, is that Mason can’t be sure that he’s not wrong. If it really is Bill, then all of this ‘zero-tolerance’ response is justified. If Bill really did take over Stan, and Stan isn’t in control anymore, then it would make sense to keep their distance, to do everything they can to keep Bill contained.

But…he isn’t…Mason doesn’t want to believe that it’s Bill. Stan hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary. Well, no, that isn’t true, Stan had done a lot of things lately that are bizarre and impossible for the average person. But, it’s always been…well, as Stan. He’s always been ‘in character’, as it were.

He pulls Fox Stan into his lap and does his best not to lift the red knit cap from over its eyes. He doesn’t know if Mabel glued the yellow eyes over the fox’s brown ones. He doesn’t want to know. He’s scared. He’s scared and left in the dark more often than not. He should follow Mabel, demand answers, but he just can’t.

If everything is left in limbo, if he doesn’t know what is really going on, then he can pretend that everything is fine. He can pretend that everything will work out for the best. He’s afraid to talk to Ford because he knows what Ford is going to say. He knows how this plays out. And he wants to live in this blissful limbo of not knowing for just a little longer.

Just a little more of normal, just a little more of imagining his grunkles sailing all over the world and having adventures and hearing about all the excitement.

Mason clutches Fox Stan tight to his chest buries his face into the grey synthetic fur. He’s angry at Ford for not trying to get along with Stan, even after he promised the twins over and over that they wouldn’t fight anymore. He’s angry that Ford can’t even listen to them. He knows Ford spent the most time with Bill, but they fought him too. And won multiple times. It’s almost as if Ford can’t accept that anyone but himself can understand things.

A creak in the floor boards lets him know that Mabel is on her way back. He doesn’t know if he’s able to talk to her just yet. Too many things swirling in his head, and too many feelings screaming at each other in his heart. He throws the blanket over his head and lays flat just as Mabel opens the door to their shared room. He clutches Fox Stan tighter. He hears cloth moving, papers shuffling and finally the creak of the door again.

Mabel had a theory. A good one. One Mason isn’t sure he can let himself fully grasp. The very thought that the person he’d come to know and love last summer was a lie…

He curled tighter around Fox Stan. His gut wrenched and he felt his eyes sting. Mabel had cried enough for all four of them, but he guessed it was his turn to carry the family grief. Tears dripped from his clenched eyes, soaking Fox Stan’s knitted red cap.

He’d seen it too.

Stan becoming Bill.

Just before he’d fallen back in his own mindscape, (a giant journal with moving pictures, and fold out pages, and invisible ink) he’d seen Stan change.

Mason didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with those thoughts anytime soon. Instead, he crawled out of bed and crossed their book and paper strewn floor to Mabel’s purple sheets and unicorn bedspread. He curled up against the wall and waited.

A brief feeling of shame kicked him in the spine even as he made himself comfortable amongst the filly pillows and stuffed animals. They were thirteen. He was way too old to be running off to his sister’s bed when he felt scared or upset.

But the rational part of his brain told that shame to take a hike. Things were different now. Life just got a lot harder. And he’s man enough to admit that he’s not ok with this. Not that he thinks Mabel is fairing any better, but two people being miserable together is better than being miserable alone.

Their parents weren’t handling it well either, though denial was one heck of a drug. Better than any Smile Dip. His parents had called up to Gravity Falls and had gotten ahold of Soos. After a phone call that he had reluctantly not eavesdropped on, their parents stopped asking them what was wrong. No more doctor’s appointments and no more counselors. And both he and Mabel were happy to not have to take any more pills.

He heard the door click again and sat up to see Mabel tucking away her bag and the tablet. She paused a moment, avoiding his gaze before she patted Waddles’ sleeping form and climbing in beside him. She sat for a long time with her knees to her chest, staring at the door and not speaking. Though anxious, Mason waited. Limbo and ignorance and all of that. But Limbo was never meant to be permanent.

“Stan stabbed out his eye.”

It was like he had been thrust through the ice into Gravity Falls Lake. He couldn’t even form words. A strangled gasp worked its way from his throat to hang in the air between them.

Mabel turned away from him, but her voice was clear.

“Grunkle Ford said Stan got angry and hurt himself. He broke everything in Ford’s lab and cut out his eye. Ford says he’s gonna be ok, well, not okay okay, but he’ll live.”

Mason simply blinked, mouth agape and eyes boring into the back of his sister’s head. But she refused to look at him. His fingers tangled in the purple duvet and he felt a thread snap. A flurry of purple and shades of pink and white arced in the air as Mason flung off the duvet and landed on the floor. He kicked at the scattered books in frustration, waking Waddles who snorted indignantly. Mason ignored the pig.

“None of this makes any sense! I get Bill. I don’t, but he makes more sense than this. I hate being left in the dark! What set him off? Why would Bill do that? It puts him at a disadvantage. Could it be to scare Ford? But Ford said he’s stronger than Bill…unless he’s lying. Is he lying? Mabel do you…think…”

Mabel was staring at the door again, unaffected by her brother’s tirade. He took a few steps closer.

“Mabel?”  

“Dipper, I don’t think Ford is okay.” Her voice was so quiet, he wasn’t sure he’d heard her. But before he could ask, she continued. “I told him what I found out. You know, about reincarnation. And how Grunkle Stan fits. He listened to me this time. But I don’t think he can believe it yet.”

Well that was something. Grunkle Ford actually listening to someone else for once. But it was more progress than they had made in days. They were out of resources and out of ideas. There was only so much two thirteen years old could do with internet access and a public library. Mason was even tempted to jump a bus and head back to Gravity Falls to see if any of the forest creatures could help. Next to Grunkle Ford, they were the only ones who understood magic. If this even was magic.

Mason picked up the duvet and placed it back on the bed before kneeling beside Mabel. She still wouldn’t look at him.    

“There’s something else you aren’t telling me. What do you mean ‘He can’t believe it yet’?”

“Ford asked me not to tell you.” Mason opened his mouth to retort that this was exactly how they had gotten into the whole mess in the first place when she finished. “He wants to tell you himself. He just doesn’t know if he’s ready yet. He wasn’t ready to tell me, it just sorta came out.” Even though she hid her face in her knees, he caught the blush forming on her cheeks. She was embarrassed. Mabel being embarrassed about something was something to be worried about. What would make Mabel embarrassed and Ford stressed? Surprisingly little existed in that overlap. Almost nothing. Unless…

“Is it about what Mom was scared of?”

“What? Gosh no. I didn’t even tell him about that. But you really should talk to him. This is…is something kinda important. If he doesn’t tell you on his own…I’ll give him a week. Okay?” She looked sad. No, not sad, like she pitied him. Very suddenly, Mason was not looking forwards to speaking with his Great Uncle.

“I don’t like keeping things from you. Especially after what happened. But this is…personal, I guess.” Personal? For Ford? But, Ford had already told him about his history with Bill. Unless there was something else? Was it Stan, then? He was getting lost in his own conjectures.  

Mason took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. I’ll wait for Ford to tell me.” His mind was already going in a direction he wasn’t really comfortable with anyway.

“There’s something else.” Mason snapped his head up at Mabel’s words. Something else? What more could be happening?

Mabel had turned away again, picking at the fuzz that always developed on the underside of her blankets. “I asked Ford to tell you his secret, but I gotta tell you mine too.”

Mason pinched the bridge of his nose, trying in vain to relive the pressure he knew was going to be there. He knew what she was going to say. As soon as she had said it, he knew what was wrong. More frustration added to the already overflowing pit in his gut. It just never ended, did it?

“I still have some Smile Dip.”

He’d suspected. Mabel had spent the whole month being cheery and decorating the house in streamers, glitter and fake snow. She’d been pushing everyone to ‘get into the holiday spirit’. He had hoped it was just run of the mill sugar, but there was always the worry that it was the horrid super sugar she’d found in the old convenience store. Ford had even tested it. It was super refined and had three times as much glucose as regular sugar per gram. They even banned it in America because it had trace components of coca extract.

And she had promised him that she would get rid of it. She had given him the purse stuffed with the candy and he had dissolved it in a bucket of water before tossing it down the storm drain. She swore that she had given him all of it. Even going so far as to show her hands so he knew she hadn’t lied.

So much for not keeping secrets.  

“Why? Why on Earth? Mabel, you said you were going to get rid of it. You could get hurt! What about cousin Mia? She had a seizure and went to rehab! Is that what you want?”

“No!” She shouted, before covering her mouth. They both glanced at the boor and listened. Only the rattling of the wind outside echoed through the house. Their parents were still asleep.

Mason gave one last lingering glance at the door before turning back to Mabel.

“Then why!?” He wanted to throw something.

She was crying freely now, hiding her face in her arms. Even Waddles, who had woken at the commotion and climbed up on the bed to paw at Mabel’s legs, couldn’t calm her down.  

“I just need to be happy, okay! I just am so tired of feeling sad and miserable All. The. Time.” Each word punctuated by fists to her temples.

It was true though. No one had been happy really. Not since Ford had called them about Stan just over a month ago. Both of them, their parents, Grandma and Grandpa and Great Grandma Caryn. The world wasn’t ending, not yet, but everything seemed to be going wrong anyway.

Mason slowly sat on the edge of the bed. He waited a brief moment before wrapping an arm around his sister’s shoulders. “Being happy all the time isn’t good either. Especially when it isn’t real.” He combed his fingers through her hair. He wasn’t sure how, because they used the same shampoo, but Mabel’s hair always smelled like gumdrops. He rested his cheek against her head, as she began to rock back and forth. “There are still things to be happy about.” A quiet scoff was her only response.

“Mabel, we’ve been hanging out more, heck, we’ve spent all of holiday break together doing research. You got to audition for the high-school drama club. Mom and Dad are talking about a trip to ComicCon in April. We found a vet who knowns pigs and who can make sure Waddles is healthy. Candy and Grenda are coming to visit over Spring Break. So many things to be happy about.” She still wouldn’t look at him. Waddles had given up his nudging at Mabel’s legs and instead laid down at the foot of the bed.

He sighed. “Mabel, It’s Christmas Eve. We’re having Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa and Great-Grandma Caryn today. I know things are hard, but can’t you put aside being sad for one day.” It was one of the happiest times of the year; Mabel had proclaimed it herself. There was no way he was going to let her be upset. If it meant putting up with all of her Christmas Party shenanigans, then he’d do it happily.  

“I don’t deserve it.”

“What…?” The clockwork in his mind screeched to a halt. Gears clinking and springs coming loose. Mabel turned towards him, hair smacking him in the face.  

“I don’t, Dipper.” He eye were dark and bruised and bloodshot. Tiny teardrops worked their way from the corners of her eyes. Dried tear streaks carved paths down her cheeks. She wanted to cry, but there was nothing left. “I wanted to hang onto summer so bad that I put everyone in danger. And when I woke up in that bubble, I knew what was happening. Bill told me himself what the bubble was. I just…” Mabel pulled away from him. Her hands found the pastel pillow behind her and she swung it repeatedly against the wall as she spoke.

“I knew he’d won. And I didn’t want to leave. Why leave when everything was wrong. Even if you guys won against Bill, I still thought I was saying ‘goodbye’ to everything that was important to me. So why not just stay?” Her swings were picking up speed now. Pillow colliding with all the drawings and photographs hung up on her wall. She didn’t seem to care when they started tearing through the tacks and tape and fluttering to the bed. “I was happy there. I could hide away from every bad thing I’d ever done. Instead, I could fix everything. And I did. I made it so everyone could live together. I fixed everything! Pacifica was nice. Gideon was nice. MaGucket didn’t erase his memories. I fixed Lazy Susan’s eye. Stan adopted Soos. I made Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford happy together!” She had finally run out of steam when the last photo of the four of them tore off the wall. Mabel knelt on the bed amongst the destruction, clutching the pillow to her.  

“That’s what I was going to show you. After Soos and Wendy ran off. I was going to show you how happy Stan and Ford could be.”

“But it wasn’t the real Stan and Ford. Ford was captured. I didn’t even know where Stan was.”

“I know it wasn’t.” She buried her face in the push pillow. “I know. None of it was real. But I was willing to put everyone in danger for it. Is this what Grunkle Ford feels like?”

Mason sighed, scooting more to the center of the bed. “I don’t know about that. But, Mabel, you set it right. You did fix things. Maybe nothing was the way you wanted it, but everyone was happy. You do deserve to be happy. You gotta know that people care about you?” She didn’t respond.  

“Okay, fine. How about this? Stan has done I can’t even count how many bad things. He didn’t even want to save Ford in the first place. And we still care about him.” Still no response.

“Okay, better example. Ford made the deal with Bill in the first place, right? So, none of this would have happened if he hadn’t. So, it’s Ford’s fault. And Stan’s. And yours…” He paused, taking a slow breath. “And mine.”

That got her attention. Mabel peeked out from behind the pillow, eyes wide and questioning.  

“I made a deal with Bill too. I know he tricked me and we beat him, but I still did it. And I did it even knowing that he sided with Gideon to get the Mystery Shack.” He still hadn’t gotten over doing that. Bill had done a lot of damage to his body. They had spent that evening in the emergency room. While he didn’t have any broken bones, Mason still had a scar on his collar. It wasn’t deep and healed quick, but the mark had never gone away.

But this was about Mabel. “So, we’re all bad. Are the three of us undeserving of being happy, of having people care about us?” Mason knew it was underhanded, but this was important. He needed to make sure Mabel understood that they were in this together.

“No, of course not!”

“Then why not you?”

She still couldn’t answer. But Mason knew he had gotten through. It wasn’t going to be over night, but they would get better. They would get through this together. And the first step, was to start off the day right.  

“Okay, the first thing we’re going to do, is go dump all that Smile Dip. ALL OF IT! And then, we are going to go down stairs and have Mabel-cakes. I’ll even let you add the edible glitter. Then we are going to have Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa and we are going to be extra happy. Because even if things are hard now, they can always get better. ‘No where to go but up’, right?”

Mabel gave him a watery smile, eyes far to bruised to cry anymore. Mason held out a hand to her and pulled her up off the bed. They would clean up their room later, after Christmas. Maybe. Waddles was already waiting at the door to be let out.

Mabel picked up a nail file from the nightstand and walked over to the lightswitch. She unscrewed the bottom and swung it sideways to reveal a string taped to the wall and dropping behind it. Four packets of Smile Dip were hooked onto the end hidden in the wall. They looked creased and squashed, like they had been stuffed and forgotten about in the bottom of a bag or jacket pocket for months. Mabel handed the packets to him along with the nail file. Mason made a mental note to check all the outlets for more in the coming days.  

They walked across the hall to the bathroom and both he and Mabel tore open the packets and emptied them all into the toilet. Mabel stared as the multiple colors and torn paper swirled together over and over until the water pulled everything down. Mason gave her a quizzical look. She sighed and nodded, giving him a small smile. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders again, steering her back to the hall and down stairs.    

“Hey, Mom told Grandpa what’s going on. So, everyone knows. We don’t have to deal with this alone anymore, Mabel.”

*~*

It was Christmas Eve morning, just before dawn, and Diane was sitting at the dining room table with a mostly empty pot of coffee. It wasn’t her first.

She had called up to Gravity Falls just under a month prior and had spoken to Jesus Ramírez, current owner and proprietor of the Mystery Shack. He was at first reluctant to talk, dismissing the ghost stores and tales of monsters and chalking it up to small town folk tales. She had pressed further.

“I don’t think you understand the situation Mr. Ramirez. My children are waking up most nights with nightmares they won’t discuss with me. I have taken them to a child trauma counselor and I was told my thirteen-year-old daughter should be screened for depression and my son has been prescribed anti-psychotics. I’m tempted to call a lawyer and press charges against Stan Pines if I don’t get some answers!”

That had done it.

Jesus had relented, asking her to sit down and telling her a condensed story of the summer her children experienced in Gravity Falls. Everything from lake monster robots, to tiny living golfballs, to gnomes and merpeople, living videogames and zombies, and finally, the demon known as Bill.

“Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but that’s how it is here, miss. Weird things happen, like all the time. People are just used to it. And no one is really ready to deal with what happened. The mayor even went and made it a law that you can’t talk about it. They even came up with code words so people can talk to their therapists without breaking the law. But I got some pictures and some scans from Ford’s old journal tucked away. Guess Stan forgot to take it with them. I can send ‘em to ya. Dipper might want ‘em too.”

He sounded…so…rational, about the whole thing. Like this was just a normal thing to happen. Hearing it from her children was one thing. Seeing pictures that may or may not have been photoshopped and hearing about it from a rational adult was another. Diane had half held out hope that this was all just some sort of teenage hyper-fixation on some fantasy thing the kids had played the past summer. But she couldn’t deny it anymore. Not when the proof was staring her in the face.    

“And, Miss? I know they’re your kids, and, and I know that Stan’s your family, and I respect that. But…Stan’s been there for me since I was like eight. He taught me how to drive, and he tried to teach me how to box. He means a lot to me. I know he’s not my real dad, but he might as well be. So…I guess, believe me when I say that Stan wouldn’t do anything to hurt those kids. Ford neither.”

She had accepted it. She had to. One could only deny what they were seeing and hearing so long before they were considered mad. So here she was. Sitting at the kitchen table, onto her third pot of coffee after having been up since four in the morning. Dan had stepped out for a smoke. Dan never smoked. Not since college. But some things called for bad habits. And tis was most definitely one of them.

She had the pictures Jesus had sent her spread out on the kitchen table. Not all of them were clear, in fact most of them were fuzzy and filled with static, or had a badly place finger. But one stood out. It seemed to be from inside a building, through a red window. A giant sentient pyramid with one eye and eight arms. It terrified her more than it should. And this monster might be back?

She’d scanned everything she had and e-mailed it all to Sherman, Marianne, and Caryn. Calling her father-in-law and informing them about what was happening half a world away had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. But her son and daughter were right, they deserved to know. And while none of them were completely convinced, (hell, she wasn’t completely convinced, and she had photographs sitting in front of her) they were all waiting on contact from Ford and…and Stan, to confirm.

It was bizarre to think about. That her Uncle Stan, nevermind that it was Stanley and not Stanford, might not even be himself. The pyramid monster stared up at her from the photograph. It felt like it was watching her. But that was stupid. It was just a photograph. But…well, it was best to put everything away before her children woke-up. They were going to spend the day with Sherman, Marianne and Caryn today. No matter what, they were going to celebrate like a normal family. She took a deep breath and scooped all the photos back in the envelope, tucked it under her arm and went to pour out the old coffee. Her children’s voices echoed coming down the stairs.  

-End Chapter 22-

Previous

Next

Chapter 1

[raaven-nerd]

20 tags; 20 questions

I was tagged by @rise-sun - sorry this is like a month late lmaooo but thanks for the tag <3 

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 20 followers you would like to get to know better.

Name: Michelle Nickname: Mich, Michy  Zodiac sign: Cancer Height: omigosh i’m so short I’m like 158 cm lmaoo (5′2″) Orientation: ??? should i know this?? I don’t have a love life lmao i’m 14  Nationality: Australian!!  Favourite fruits: mango, watermelon, pineapples, grapes  Fav season: Summer!! I know, that’s like ridiculous because it’s so hot but idk summer has nice vibes about it  Fav scent: idk it depends on my mood, but generally the smell of like freshly baked desserts mmm yee boi that’s a good smell  Fav colour: if anyone sees me irl, it’ll be pretty obvious my fav colour is pink like,, soo much of my stuff is pink lmaoo but i just like pastel colours in general Fav animal: dogs!! but I love cats too and i just kinda like animals in general Coffee, tea, hot 🍫: hmm depends on my mood - i love some good milk tea (chatime ftw boi!!) but hot chocolate is also great on those cold winter days,, but never coffee lol  Average hrs of 💤: well I’m supposed to get 8 hours of sleep,, but I normally get like 6.5 - 7 soo welp  Fav fictional character: uM,, ,hoW do i choose??? I’ve always wanted to be Hermione since I first read the Harry Potter books but like Newt Scamander is just so relatable but like anyone from the Harry Potter universe is a pretty cool character (except Umbridge lmao)  No. of blankets you 💤 with: 1 Dream trip: I wanna go to London and go to the Warner Bros Studio Tour because I’m kinda a huge Potterhead,, but I’d love to go back to New York and just spend like three weeks there taking in the sights of the city (guess the musical reference lolol) Blog created: February last year I think?? I can’t remember, it was definitely some time last year tho 

(oh gosh 20 people,, I don’t think I have that many friends lmaooo) 

I’m tagging: @lisaravenclaw @aotorii @alittlesucculentstudies @sunray-study @justpeachyblogs @bespoke-studies @suikastudies @joannastudies @tiny-notes @piiess .. and I’ll just leave it at that 

As always, don’t feel pressured into doing this and if you just wanted to do this because it seems fun - go ahead!! Feel free to say I tagged you in it because I’ll love to get to know you guys and make some new friends :))

[fuckyeahgravityfalls]

Q&A Transcript with Alex Hirsch at MomoCon 2017

Question: Before you decided to make Bill the main bad guy, did you have another character in mind that would have been the villain? 

Alex: Yeah, um that's a good question. Uh, so, when we came up with the villain of the show, I knew that... I knew that Bill was involved. And I knew that Ford had disappeared due to some deal gone wrong with some villain next to the mystery of how Gravity Falls was all assembled. 

Um, but, I didn't yet decide that Bill was that character in the very beginning, y'know? I had always imagined it was some sort of evil character somewhere kinda hidden in the woods. I wasn't sure I could go with the Bill idea cuz I thought it would be too much like Twin Peaks, but as we got further along the series we discussed it among the repairs and we were like, 'none of our other villain ideas were as good.' Bill, Bill was weirder than anything else we thought of. Um, I remember there were other ideas. Strange monsters and government officials; some kind of cthulhu-- some weird crazy old man. But nothing was ever better than Bill, so it ended up sticking. Probably somewhere around, y'know, season one-- midway through season one, we started thinking we might be-- might be on point.

Q: Was Grunkle Stan ever aware of McGucket’s connection to his brother? 

 A: Oh, oh that's such a good question. Wait, let me think about that for a second... Uh... lemme see... I don't think so. I don't think Stan was ever aware of McGucket's connection to his brother. Because, by the time Stan traded identities with Ford, uh... McGucket had already gone off the deep end-- Was already y'know, had already created the Society of the Blind Eye; had already lost his own memory. So Stan would've really only known McGucket as a local obnoxious fisherman. 

And McGucket, probably somewhere deep in the back of his mind, was eerily just drawn to Stan in a way he just couldn't put his finger on, because he thought maybe he knew him, but-- I don't-- I think Stan was ignorant of that. Um, I think Stan... I think Stan looking through the journals probably should've put two and two together, but Stan's not the best at book-learnin'. Uh, so... my guess is Stan wouldn't have known despite that uh, that there's a lot of tumblr art out there showing them as like the Scooby-Doo gang. I don't think Stan ever really knew McGucket before.

Q: What episode do you believe came out the strongest and the most well rounded overall? And is it the same as your personal favorite episode?

 A: Oh gosh. Um. That's a great question. Hmm... I probably feel, personally, that the strongest episode is uh, "Not What He Seems" just because it's such a dramatic episode. Like, we know-- We've never had an episode that dramatic. But, when we first pitched it to Disney executives... they thought it was bad. [laughs] Um, Because it didn't have a lot of jokes in it? Like, I remember normally when we're pitching our episode, executives can usually gauge how good they are by how much people laugh. People didn't really laugh for that one, because it's really tense. So we thought, maybe we'd screwed up. But, when the animation came back we were like, 'Oh! It's GOOD that it's tense. Like, it worked!' Um, So, I dunno if that's my favorite episode, but I think-- that's the episode we should've won an Emmy for, and I'm still pissed we didn't. [laughs]

In terms of favorite episode, like... I dunno. I think the first episode that I really felt that the show was really starting to feel the way I wanted it to-- "Time Traveler's Pig" in season one. Like, that was an episode where Dipper had an interesting story, and Mabel had an interesting story, and uh, felt nostalgic, and based around the summer, and had a big secret callback to even previous episodes, so-- I just remember when we first just got that episode back in color, I was like, 'hey I think maybe I like how I'm making this cartoon show,' so I think that has a particularly fond place in my heart, y'know.

Q: Is Disney bringing you to SDCC or NYCC later this year to promote the journal and other books coming out? 

 A: Right, um, yeah, Disney-- Disney... Disney-general and me, have like-- we're divorced. Like, they kept the house, and the pets. Y'know what I mean? It's... we don't like get dinner or anything. But, the Disney Publishing department, separate from Disney Television, they're really cool, and enthusiastic, and energized. And they wanna make new cool stuff. Um, so I think it's possible I might be at D23 this year, and it's possible I might be at Comic Con, but I don't have anything confirmed yet.

Q: In the scene where Bill is trying to convince Ford to join him in the Fearamid, were there any other jokes or story beats that were considered? 

 A: Which episode specifically are you talking about? [Q: The We'll Meet Again scene.] Yea yea yea, We had a-- Every scene that you've ever seen in the show has a ton of ton of stuff we've thought of and had to cut for time or other reasons. Um, I remember there was definitely a version of that where Bill was a lot trickier. Like, he sort of more successfully lied to Ford about like: 'We're actually going to make the world a better place. Though I present myself as this chaos lunatic that's just my personality.' Like, 'here's ways in which we'll IMPROVE the universe.' 

Um, but it felt out of character. We thought it was much more like Bill to just draw smiley faces in oceans and eat the sun and just-- hope, that the force of his charisma could convince Ford that that was a good idea. But uh, I feel like-- I feel like Bill can be really really tricky when he wants to, but by the time Weirdmageddon showed up he's so impatient, and he's so convinced that he won, that he was no longer like, this brilliant chess master he used to be. He's like, 'alright let's do it! Do what I want or I'll eat your face.' Like, no more-- No more, like-- He wasn't as smart a tactician as he used to be, y'know?

Q: Was "We'll Meet Again" always the song you were going to use? 

A: Oh yeah, it had to be that. It was like... I think I'd just seen Dr. Strangelove recently around that time and it stuck in my head. It seems to me, if Bill has a taste in music, it would be, like, old timey music that ranges from either weird to obnoxious to obscure. 

Uh, Disney wanted me to cut it cuz it cost them a bunch of money to get the rights, even though it's so old, it still cost them money to get the rights. And I just... said, please. Over and over and over again. I would send an e-mail that just said, 'please.' And send another e-mail that said, 'please.' And I would send another e-mail that said-- Yeah. [laughs] Eventually I wore them down that they're like, 'alright we'll spend thousands of dollars.' [laughs]

Q: Are real comics coming? 

 A: You want comics? Would you read Gravity Falls comics? [Audience screams] [Alex leans his ear forward] [AUDIENCE SCREAMS]

A: It's a terrifying noise isn't it, Michael? I was at a... Gravity Falls gallery, and like, they didn't tell us how many people would show up, and it was like, THAT noise echoing from every corner. And uh like, I think I lost a year of my life. My hair started going gray, and it was like, 'oh my god, this is too much love! It's terrifying.' 

Comics. I would love to do Gravity Falls comics. Um, I have so many... One of the tough things about a half hour show like Gravity Falls is every now and then we think of an idea that we really liked, but it was too short for a half hour; 'oh that's only five minutes of story'-- Or it's too specific and weird. And so I have tons and tons of ideas of the show that y'know we'd like to explore this character, we'd like to show this secret, this storyline. So, I'd love to do comics. But, that's up to Disney Publishing, and I'm trying to convince them. So, hopefully, I'll have something exciting to announce in not too long.

Q&A with Stan and Soos

Q: Is Dipper adorable or manly?  

Stan: Dipper smells like baby wipes. Even if I cut off all my shoulder hair, and taped it to him, he wouldn't be 1/10th as manly I am.

Q: What would you do if Mabel told you she had a date to prom? 

Stan: I would... invite the gentleman over, have some coffee, tie him to a chair and interrogate him for 10 hours, and maybe throw him in the pit. [shrug] Hands off my neice, kid!

Q: What would happen if Soos met Giffany again? 

Soos: Oh yea, I recently downloaded this couple's therapy sim? Uh, I think she and I would have to talk about our issues and pass around a conversation pillow, and really work out these struggles. Cuz she's got some problems, dude.

Q: Soos, why are you so perfect? 

Soos: Yeah, uh, my grandma said that a whole bunch of doves flew down and formed the shape of a perfect angel over my crib. I dunno, dude I guess I was just born that way.

[enthusiasticclouds-sally]

Mun Questionnaire!!!! 

PERSONAL DETAILS

Nicknames? Kiki, Ki, Little One, my co-workers mainly call me little one and it’s to the point where they legit have forgotten my actual name

Where do you live? Waterbury, Connecticuttt but I was born in Manhattan, NYC didn’t move to CT till I was ten

What’s your age? Freaking oldd: 25

Hair color? Right now it’s dark brown with like dirty blonde highlights, probably going to dye it all straight black pretty soon. I constantly change between the two tbh

Eye color? Dark Brown

Height? Jusssstttttt make it to exactly five feet

Date of Birth? August 23rd, 1992 :D

What’s your star sign? Virgo, legit on the day Virgo actually starts!! :DD

Element? Earth  

How many siblings? Two half-brothers: Carlos and Alexander from my dad’s side in where I’m the oldest and the only girl :DD and only child from my mom’s side

How many pets? Noneee, they legit all die on me so I do all animals a favor and just don’t get them as pets. They’d have a longer life without me xD

Obsessions? Skullssss, Disney, my hair because it drives me up the wall if it doesn’t look okay!! It’s bad I know, oh oh and SLEEPING!!! I adore sleeping it is my favorite hobby I can sleep my entire day away and be at bliss

Bad habits? Bite the nails, talk too fast, buying books that I never end up reading, buying clothes that still have their tags on it, procrastinationnnn, picky af eater, impatient. 

Phobias? MICE!!!!!!! I can’t even look at a mouse!!!! I promise you I will stay on top of whatever the freak I climbed on for the ENTIRE day if a mouse ran by I will NOT touch the ground. I will cry, scream, and enter a panic attack!!! No no no no no no no no!!!!

ABOUT YOU

What makes you happy? SLEEPING!!!! Skulls, Disney…. should really just direct you to the obsessions question… but also my laptop, my carrr!!!! Make-up!!! Hoodies, lots and lots of hoodies drown me in hoodiesss. Sunny days but also rainy days, Pokemon haha, my job on some dayss, MY BED, the dark, all of my hundreds of Disney pins, and gosh a lot of things make me happy tbh

What really irritates you? Headaches, being nauseas, stomach aches, snoring I really can’t deal with snoring and have no rational reason as to why… and this is awful but cuddling hahaha I’m just not a cuddling person… I kinda push you off after like a minute xD Residents I really can’t fucking stand our residents. I hate them. Oh!! Can’t forget waiting!! I’m impatient it’s bad, working on it though xD

What makes you sad? Tear-jerkers haha I hate those shits. Ummmmm I’m really not much of a sad person?? I mean I can add mice in here because they make me cry, but like they scare the shit outta me sooooo

What makes you angry? Drivers. Cranky rude-ass ungrateful patients!!! Like I don’t want to have to be dealing with that shit for twelve hours. Talking about patients, my job xD. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. People tbh haha xD I sound mean I swear I’m not!!! The cold, I really do not like being cold at all!! 

What makes you scared? MICE!!!!! I don’t even want to hear about them!! Any of my patients starting to crash even my babies. It’s really not a fun feeling!! Bugs, fuck bugs.

Who is your best friend? That would be Marie I have been friends with her since the end of fifth grade!!! She is also my complete opposite and is perfect at fucking annoying me, but I love herrrr. Sara is my bff tooo!! She’s my cousin though, but that’s my little buttercup and she’s like my sister, since I have none of those <3 

Ever broken a bone? Nope.

What was the last CD you bought? Oh damn an actual one??? Uhhh I think it was an Aventura one… their Last Project album I believe. They’re a Spanish band. Downloaded album was Pink’s new album I’m in LOVE with it.

What was the last book you read? The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need by Joanna Martine Woolfolk

Who was the last person you spoke to? The mother

What was the last thing you ate? Soup :(( My stomach has been a little shit the past two days. I think I caught the stomach bug fml. 

What was the last thing you drank? Ginger ale because I can actually keep that down

What’s the best thing you’ve ever bought? Oh goshhh I buy SO MANY THINGGSSS!! Uhhhh MY CAR!!! She’s a beautiful 2016 Honda HR-V, I love her :DD My Kat Von D Shade and Light palette!!! I can’t live without that palette!!! Oh oh and my laptop!! She’s been a bit of a shit lately, but I do adore herrr.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever bought? Ughh I tend to like everything I buyy

What’s the best thing you’ve ever been given? My Uggs!!! My mom got me them and I LOVE them

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been given? I don’t think I haven’t liked anything that’s been given to me so far??

What are your future goals? Well it was to become a nurse and I ammmm so there it is and I’m even where I wanted to be :DD Maternity nurse with the babieesss :DD 

Describe your bedroom? A black bed. A big black dresser. Two closets…. I have a lot of clothes. Two mirrors, well three if you count my make-up mirror. I have a make-up dresser that’s black too with like a shit ton of make-up!!! Black curtains. White walls and the wall that my bed is attached too has pictures completely covering it in a checkerboard pattern. I’m pretty proud of it, it’s my favorite thing about my room! Oh and another wall has my car tax bill taped to it so that I remember that I have the next half of that shit to pay in January xD

Who do you consider the most beautiful woman in the world? I think Jessica Lowndes if GORGEOUSS

Who do you consider the most handsome man in the world? Ian Somerhalder is GORGEOUSSSS so is William Levy!!!!!!

Favorite thing to do on a hot summers day? Go to the pool, and lay out under the hot summer sunnn. I absolutely LOVE the heattt 

Favorite thing to do on a snowy winters day? Keep my ass in!!!! Curl under warm blankets and drink yummy hot chocolate

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be? Have all my bills/loans paid off for the rest of my liiiffeee, anything my mom would want, and idk probably a nice gorgeous house in the future

If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do? I’d go back to my high school years and not date the douchebag of my ex

What’s the first thing you think about when you wake up? Can I go back to sleep for another hour?? haha

Do you believe in the after-life? I dooo

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? I have no fucking cluee. I still see myself in the same profession though because I do love it deep down haha. Hopefully, though I’ll be out of CT and just somewhere different. 

What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever been told? I don’t really tell jokes I don’t think I’m funny at all :((

Any hidden talents? None that I’m aware of??? I mean I can sing?? Does that count??

Dream job? Currently doing it!!! Being a nurse :DD Even though I do have a love/hate relationship with it xD

Who is your hero? My mommmm

Describe yourself in 3 words: Introvert, sweet, sarcastic

FAVORITES

Favorite color? Blackkk I love pink too, but black way moree

Favorite number? 14

Favorite animal? Snow Tiger

Favorite sport (to play)? Umm I only ever cheer leaded soo cheerleading by default

Favorite sport (to watch)? Baseball and Football

Favorite Show(s)? Criminal Minds, Law & Order SVU, NCIS, Grey’s Anatomy and my guilty pleasure issss Keeping up with the Kardashians haha yes I hate myself for loving that show xD

Favorite movies? Titanic, Cinderella, Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride, andd The Princess Bride 

Favorite band? Evanescence 

Favorite song? It’s constantly switching 

Favorite room in the house? My bedroom!!!!

Favorite food? Pizza!!!!! 

Favorite drink? Pepsi :DD Should I be drinking any kind of soda? Nope because I get kidney stones pretty often. Do I still drink my Pepsi like all the time?? YEASS

Favorite place? Disney World <3

Favorite cartoon character? That would be between Cinderella and Sally

Favorite day of the week? Monday and Thursday because I neverrrr work on those days!! 

Favorite day of the year? August 23rd!! :DD

Favorite season? Summerr

Favorite Holiday? Christmass 

Favorite girls name? Emily, Aria and I have to say I do love my name too!! Kiara is pretty 

Favorite boys name? Declan and Aiden

Favorite country? Italy

Favorite smell? OoOo I’m a very fruity person but cucumber melon is my absolute favorite!! 

Favorite sound? Rain falling, tapping of the keyboard, tapping of acrylic nails, a heart beat especially baby heart beats because they go really fast!!

Favorite accent? British

Favorite Ships (in or our of BDRP)? I love all the ships hereee!!!! I love all of my ships tooo ngl xD 

Favorite Fandoms? I don’t think I really have any???

PREFERENCES

Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi!

Pen or Pencil? Pen. I really don’t like pencils at all and won’t use one unless it’s a lead pencil 

Day or Night? Night all the way

Cat or Dog? Dog but I’m sadly very allergic to both :((

Summer or Winter? Summer!

T.V. or Radio? Radio

Brains or Beauty? Brains

Cup or Mug? Mug

Tea or Coffee? Coffeeee, but I’m not a huge fan or either tbh

Gold or Silver? Silver

Brush or Comb? Comb

City or Country? City

Early or Late riser? Late!!!! Look I get up at like 1pm the earliest. 

Blond or Brunette? Brunette

Scary or Romantic movies? Romantic haha Scary movies are too predictable to me I mean so are romantic but whateverr

Board or Computer games? Board gamess

Half full or Half empty? Half full

Happy and poor or Sad and rich? Happy and poor

Glasses or Contacts? Glasses

Flowers or Chocolates? Chocolate!! Please no flowers those die on me tooo

Love or Money? Love

Hugs or Kisses? Tbh hugss I love hugging!!! Just not cuddling though haha

[ferelden-doglord]

I was tagged by @queenofkadaara @holy-squirrel-of-death @ilonavic and @lithialetheia  thank you sweethearts <333 RULES: 1. answer the new questions given by the previous person 2. write 11 new questions 3. tag 11 people this is gonna be long so i will put it under line

i. what music genre do you usually listen to?

currently pagan/rock/electro/metal/pop

ii. what words would you use to describe your aesthetics?

wild flowers/slavic folklor/wooden objects/forest/wolves

iii. favorite tea flavor?

wild flowers - the best tea i ever had

iv. favorite time period? why?

pagan europe because i feel strong connection to nature and animals and european pagans werent murdering wolves and other predators for being evil they werent destroying nature for money... sure they didnt always treat animals 100% nicely but they had big respect for animals and nature and it all dissapeared with christianization

v. favorite motto / quote?

“There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.”

vi. language you wished you speaked?

finnish, polish, swedish, old norse

vii. name of your first plushie / stuffed animal? do you still have it? and while we are at it, do you still have plushies?

i had too many plushies as kid and they all had names I cant really remember the first one :c but maybe myšák (mouse) it was small stuffed mouse.. and yeah i still got plushies but theyre hidden in a box

viii. what color do you wear the most?

uh...black or blue..my clothes are mostly these colors

ix. favorite ice cream flavor?

cinnamon

x. most emotional fictional moment? can be from video games, books, movies, etc.

when Newt died (Maze Runner books), also Milva from Witcher books... basically deaths of my favourite characters :/

xi. if you could make one fictional character real, which one would you pick?

I wanna say Iorveth but I know he would hate me? so..probably Leliana

1. Who’s your favourite celebrity and why?

Richard Harmon - hes an inspiration for me because he also had to deal with being bullied in his life and hes also very insecure about himself but tries to hide it from others and be nice and kind person

2. What’s your favourite song lyrics (either whole song or just a few lines) and why?

Somebody to die for - Hurts it just describes me perfectly? because i live for other people not for myself

3. Which dead fictional character would you bring back to life?

MILVA!!!!!!! SHE DESERVED TO LIVE AND HAVE HAPPY LIFE

4. What’s your favourite weather?

warm but not too much with breeze and occasionally sun shining

5. What do you think happens after death?

first its nothing.. but then you get reincarnated... i somehow believe in reincarnation...or i want to...its more comforting to believe theres chance for another and hopefully better life than to just shut down and be surrounded by darkness

6. Which planet do you like most?

Mars - its my planet :D Im aries and also my name Marcela has roots in the name Mars

7. What have you dreamt about lately?

eh....spending time with person i love

8. What’s your favourite topic to talk about?

animals also games

9. What do you do when you’re sad?

write whiny post on tumblr lol.... well mostly i just cry and hug my pillow

10. Which taste do you like best: sweet, salty, sour, bitter or spicy?

sweet!!!! gosh how much i love sweet taste! but i cant eat anything sweet now

11. Do you have any words, that you use really often? 

in czech - jakože, hele, no, in english - like, well, omg,

i. what is your happiest and saddest memory?

happiest...hmmm i dont think i can go into details here? for reasons...but basically when i was very close with certain person.. and saddest when my dog i had since i was kid died

ii. what/who is your most precious possession or person in your life? 

well my laptop is very precious because its the most expensive thing i ever owned lol.. and most precious person? only one? my friends are all precious and very important to me

iii. what character describes you the most?

Iorveth! We both have anger issues and cant chill for a moment..we are both loyal tho

iv. favorite time period? why?

already answered - pagan europe

v. favorite meal?

pizza!!!!

vi. what profession will you most likely work as?

graphic designer or something like that

vii. name of your favorite song?

hmmmm....... Kiss - I was made for loving you

viii. what is your favorite season/weather?

summer because the rest of the year is usually pretty cloudy and rainy in the part of the country where i live..

ix. why did you originally join Tumblr?

to look at pics of my favourite kpop bands...then i stayed for funny posts

x. what movie/game/book has made the most impact on you?

movie - princess mononoke or requiem for a dream..both very emotional movies that made me overthink some things

game - dragon age and witcher - dragon age helped me to deal with my sadness and witcher helped me to be not ashamed to be slav

book - the hunger games - i really needed some story with strong female figure in it

xi. what do you wish would disappear from the world?

cruelty

I. What’s your favorite flower? Why? Does it have some special meaning for you?

blue rose - it looks soo beautiful! sometimes i buy it for myself it brings me such happiness...mostly because its blue and im obsessed with blue things...i dont think theres special meaning behind it

II. Which song describes you better?

uh i guess Somebody to die for - Hurts ..again

III. Do you like classical music? Who’s your favorite composer?

I like some songs tbh... my favourites are Beethoven and Tchaikovsky

IV. In which city would you like to live?

I dont wanna live in city at all but I guess Brno? Cuz theres my university and I would be far away from my family

V. What’s your favorite mythical creature? Why?

Werewolf! because i love wolves

VI. What’s your favorite word?

in czech kejklíř (juggler) in english ivory

VII. Who’s the person you desire to meet currently?

my witcher squad and some other friends! <3333

VIII. What’s your favorite profession?

artist

IX. Who’s the person you admire the most?

:D im shy to write her name.... lets just say shes awesome person and artist and big inspiration for me

X. If you could be a fictional character which movie, book or videogame would you like to be in?

witcher omg.... i would meet all my favourite characters in there and finally find out if we would actually get along

XI. Can you post a photo of your favorite accessory? It can a ring, necklace, bracelet, piercing, glasses, etc., something you usually like to wear.

 Its Svetovid pendant... I wear it all the time 

my questions:

1. Is there something you’re glad you got rid off? 2. If you could have your house decorated in some style what would it be? 3. Any dreams that actually came true? 4. Ever had done something on impulse like for example - got piercing, tattoo or different hairstyle? 5. Want to learn to play some musical instrument? Which one? 6. Vampires or werewolves? 7. Drawing on paper or on tablet? Which one is better? 8. Is there food you would never taste? 9. The best gift you ever received? 10. Any uncommon pet you would like to keep? 11. What never fails to make you laugh? I will tag @welttraeumerin @your-brain-on-elfroot @jedirangerpenguin @piierogis @alifelongpassed @fangirled-into-the-sun @thirstyforred @midori-n @wadefuckingwilscn @akishito @dovabunny

[positiiv]

(/∇＼*)｡o○♡ Thank you @not-into-frying-pans for tagging me! 

1. Are you named after anyone? Not that I know of, but I know my dad named me!

2. When was the last time you cried? Not too long ago I presume as I get emotional about just about everything haha ^^

3. Do you like your handwriting? I try to, but my ‘fast’ handwriting is pretty atrocious lol

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? I don’t think I have one? I like meat, but it’s not my favourite thing

5. Do you have kids? Nope! 

6. If you were a different person would you be friends with you? Probably yes, but honestly I can’t think of a good reason why… 

7. Do you use sarcasm? naah

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yeah

9. Would you bungee jump? Yes! It sounds like a fun adventure!

10. What’s your favorite cereal? I really like cheerios! But I rarely ever eat them now;;

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? I do, because the inside of the shoe gets wrecked super easily otherwise. And I think it looks neater when they’re untied ^^

12.Do you think you’re a strong person? physically? nope. mentally? nah

13. What’s your favorite ice cream? other than plain ol’ vanilla, I think I like just about all flavours! I think!

14. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their mood probably. but physically, probably facial features, like their eyes, nose and eyebrows.

15. What’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself? Depends on the day really, one time my self esteem is through the roof and I’m pretty happy about myself, other times not so much lolol

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? No shoes but I have these super fluffy grey/white/blue socks on and they’re awesome

17. What are you listening to right now? Song of Storms, but a cello cover!

18. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Oh gosh no clue :O

19. Favorite smell? I really like the smell of cakes or cookies being baked! I also had this blueberry pie scented candle and it was divine

20. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom!

21. Favorite sport to watch? I don’t watch it much, but I really like volleyball ^^

22. Hair color? Plain old brown, but I really wanna dye it!

23. Eye color? they’re a weird blue/grey combo and I honestly don’t know haha

24. Do you wear contacts? no, but i wear glasses though but even so they’re only like -2 or something

25. Favorite food? I don’t think i have one? 

26. Scary movies or comedy? Comedy, as it has been proven multiple times to me that horror movies and I simply don’t go well together ^^;

27. Last movie you watched? hmm, Beauty and the Beast? I think? I dont watch movies very often

28: What color shirt are you wearing? Grey

29. Summer or winter? Winter!!! Most of my wardrobe consists of winter clothing, and i can wear my sweaters without being judged lol

30. Hugs or kisses? Hugs are super nice!

31.Book you’re currently reading? Crime and Punishment, and House of the Dead. They’re soo good, but they’re so long and i don’t have time to read too much ;;

32. Who do you miss right now? free time T-T and a stable state of mind lol

33. What’s on your mouse pad? I… I don’t actually have one haha

34. What’s the last tv program you watched? Probably Hell’s Kitchen or something like that

35. What is the best sound?  Silence! Or just the sound of trees swaying in the wind, bacause it’s so peaceful ^^

36. Rolling stones or The Beatles? I don’t actually know many songs from either, so neither

37. What’s the furthest you’ve ever traveled? Hmm.. I don’t really travel much or often ^^

38. Do you have a special talent? I wouldn’t say I have any tbh I’m pretty okay with baking though

39. Where were you born? Poland!

I’d like to tag @shaunak01 , @kamisama-hajime and @cats-are-fer  (*´ω｀*)

[suzie-guru]

Suzie Saw “Hamilton”!!!

(And Went To Chicago And Had An Amazing Time!!!)

Here it is, the long promised post about my Hamilton experience! The thing is, I had SUCH a great time in Chicago, I’m gonna take you through each day I was there, just because it was so much damn fun and I am so damn in love with Chicago, holy hell you don’t understand, I’m not even a City Girl and I want to live here. 

I might have to divide this up into separate posts, I had so much fun and did so many things. If that’s the case, then here’s Part One! 

Day One/HAMILTON 

God, I love traveling by train. I developed a taste for it when I was studying abroad in Scotland, and this trip just brought it home even more – it is so much better than planes or driving/riding in the car. Can i just travel everywhere by train? I would very much like this. 

So my sister and I got into Chicago nice and early since we left at the asscrack of dawn, so we had plenty of time to check into the hotel and then wander around and find somewhere to get some lunch. Care was scared by a pigeon

And I gave a special little greeting to a certain tower 

...before we finally found a wonderful restaurant called Elephant & Castle where we dined heartily. Our waiter was an absolute doll, and he very animatedly engaged me in a conversation about the pains of being a ginger and having our hair wash out in the summer and darken in the winter. 

Which actually leads me to a really funny running gag that was happening this trip? Wherever we went, people were compelled to talk to me about my hair. Like, seriously, I’m not calling it a running gag lightly, it was an ongoing thing! 

Passanger On The Train: “You have the prettiest red hair I’ve ever seen! Truly, it’s lovely.” 

Ryan, Friendly Chicago Waiter: “Your hair is the exact shade of strawberry blonde red that mine is before the sun gets to it!” 

Lady At Breakfast Cafe The Next Day: “There’s a painting of a girl in the Impressionist Exhibit they have here whose hair is the same shade as yours!” 

(perhaps they were talking about this girl???) 

(Like, I could see it...) 

But yeah, small wonder I love being a redhead so much. Given that I had been worried how faded and gross my hair looked before the trip, I was pleasantly surprised each time it happened, and my sister engaged in good natured grousing. 

Care had some homework to do before the show, so after lunch we went back to the hotel, where she hit the books and I took a catnap. 

And then, it was time for...

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOD OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUSNESS, GUYS

G U Y S

IT WAS SO INCREDIBLE

WHAT A LIFE EXPERIENCE 

I swear to God, as soon as the pre-show warning rolled over the crowd, coming from one fabulous King George, I started grabbing and punching Care, who was excitedly punching and grabbing me right back. And then as that music started and Wayne Brady as Aaron Burr stepped onto the stage....!

Something you need to know about me: I grew up on Whose Line Is It Anyway? From an early age, I revered Wayne Brady. So when Care and I found out he was playing Aaron Burr in the Chicago Cast, we knew we HAD to see this show in particular. So I was already going through some INTENSE Proud Mama feels about seeing him in this role. 

But oh man, as soon as he stepped onto the stage and began, “How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman...”, the whole audience went nuts and then, like, immediately hushed, utterly enthralled, utterly ready to surrender themselves over to the ride we were about to be taken on...

Guys, he did SUCH a great job. So many moments I was just grinning into my hands or just nodding in fierce appreciation or wiping at my eyes at everything he was doing with this character, this story, how he danced and moved and wove his mark into this role. In Dear Theodosia, he had this moment where his voice faltered and cracked and this smile just grew on his face, joy and wonderment in his eyes...

In The Room Where It Happens the way he sang the final “Click, BOOM!” and stabbed at the floor with his hands and light backlit him...it sent the entire audience into a round of applause that lasted nearly a full half minute...

And then there was The World Was Wide Enough and how he sang “I survived but I paid for it...” 

I had always wondered what song would send me into tears the most during a live production. That and Philip’s death utterly ruined me. 

Granted, no one can do Wait For It the way Leslie can. As much as I love Wayne, no one can touch Leslie for that. But he did a damn good job with it too. It’s just...that’s Leslie’s song. 

God, I just want to send him a letter saying how proud I am of him, you know? Totally normal feelings, right? Stop being a weirdo, Suzanne.

NOW FOR THE REST OF THE CAST!

Absolute Hands Down Standouts (along with Wayne, of course) were our Hamilton (Miguel Cervantes), Laurens/Philp (José Ramos) and Lafayette/Jefferson (Chris De’sean Lee). Holy SHIT, Cervantes and Ramos have GORGEOUS voices. Lin would have given Cervantes all the gold stars for what he did with Hamilton - he was brash and snarky and heartfelt and utterly amazing. His “I was chosen for the Constitutional Convention!” was delivered all calmly until he did this complete moment of FANGIRLING at the end with happy flappy hands and everything, it was so perfect XD 

Hands down, my favorite was Lafayette/Jefferson. GOD, HE WAS SO GOOD. French accent wasn’t as swoon as Daveed’s, but then again, whose is? But as soon as he did the “An-ARK-KEE” line and then danced/grinded up on Burr for note ONE, but TWO scenes...yeah, my heart was won entirely. Completely brilliant acting and singing and all around everything. And his Thomas Jefferson was gold, solid gold perfection. 

“Daddy’s calling.”

*Audience Oooohs* 

Our Washington (Jonathan Kirkland) was also excellent, although both Care and I agreed that his performance was very different from Chris Jackson, but in a way that really worked. With Chris, you know he and Lin are basically Big Brother/Little Brother, and that comes through in their performance, which is only helped by how they’re both the same height. With Kirkland’s Washington, he played Washington a bit more authoritatively and stiffer, more of a stern father figure than a brother, and the fact that he was physically much taller than Cervantes really gave that weight. 

Our Angelica (Karen Olivo) was actually the actress who originated the role of Vanessa in Lin’s first show In The Heights! Both Care and I really loved how she played the role - Renee’s Angelica almost always had a playful edge, but Olivo’s had this snarky sassiness to her that flowed very well from genuine heartbreak to a deep well of anger. As Care said, you could tell she felt things deeply. 

Our Eliza...okay, I got to admit, Ari Afsar has a lovely voice, and she looks a lot like Pippa, but...she was a case of hit and miss. Her acting in Helpless was really...forced, with lots of beaming grins with almost squinty eyes, and she kept stiffly holding her arms to her sides in a way that was really odd? Like, maybe she was trying to show Eliza trying to keep herself calm in her girlish excitement? Whatever it was, Care and I both agreed that we were thinking “Girl, relax.”  

She had some really sublime moments of acting, though, which made us really excited to see her take on Burn, but even then that was a underwhelming. She captured the anger of it, but none of the heartbreak. Again, no one can touch what Pippa did with Burn, but still, she could have done so much more with it. Honestly, I felt that the actress for Peggy (Samantha Marie Ware, who was INCREDIBLE) would have been a better Eliza and her Peggy, and Care agrees. Apparently she’s the understudy for the role anyway, so I guess it would work out just like that...

OH! There was this moment where there’s this song that WASN’T included on the CD that completely shocked me, and Care confessed that she hadn’t said anything to me as a surprise. It really worked, and I am not going to spoil it here, but it’s SO DAMN SAD AND REALLY EFFECTIVE. 

Our King George (Jin Ha) was actually the understudy (AND he’s the understudy of Hamilton!!!) and he was BRILLIANT. He played him with just the right flounce and froth and petulance, and his voice was LOVELY.  

The choreography was INCREDIBLE, since I hadn’t spoiled myself too much by watching videos, with Yorktown and Helpless being the exceptions. Standout moments: 

Right Hand Man was just balls to the walls MAGNIFICENCE. The lighting coming in these great flashes of cannon fire, the dancers jumping/throwing themselves into the air like they’re being hurled back from the guns...incredible. 

During Stay Alive, there’s this bit at the beginning with a British Soldier and a dancer that makes it look like Hamilton, writing for Washington, is right in the path of the bullet that the soldier shot, but it swerves around him at the last moment. The same thing is repeated for the final duel with Burr, but we all know how that ends...=( 

I had NEVER seen any footage of Hurricane, so I was blown away (ha) by it in its entirety. Just...brilliance. Complete and utter brilliance and heartbreak. 

During The Reynolds Pamphlet, Jefferson got up on the desk and did this wiggling dance that was completely ridiculous and yet utterly appropriate for what an asshole Jefferson is XD 

OH! There’s this moment in Satisfied right after Hamilton sings to Angelica, “I’ve never been satisfied...” and he kisses her hand, and the whole background/chorus (out of the light but still visible) gives this quick 

g  a  s  p

of an inhale, and it looks so perfect and just utterly conveys this moment of shock that Angelica is experiencing. 

This cast was a gift, plain and simple. This show is a gift. 

Also, I GOT A BUNCH OF SWAG AND NOW I AM VERY MUCH POOR, OH WELL: 

The Schuyler Sisters Shirt 

Hamilton Broadway Cast Program Book

Hamilton Sweatshirt 

Hamilton Coffee Mug

Hamilton Fridge Magnet for Mom’s collection =) 

I will not be spending any money on myself for a good long while, unless I mysteriously win the lotto soon. 

Also also, Care and I waited outside in the FREEZING COLD to see if we could see Wayne, but we only got a glimpse of Layfayette’s actor (and one guy who tried to talk to him was shooed away by the House Manager), but then Hamilton came out and signed a few programs! We were too far away to talk to him/get him to sign ours, but we pretty much decided that Wayne would have either left from a different door or would wait until the very last of us left before he would go home. 

Also also also, Care keeps accidentally calling it Hamlet. I keep teasing her about it XD

All in all...I am so blessed. So incredibly blessed that I got to go to this show with this cast. Forever a top highlight of my Suzie’s A Musical Theater Geek life. 

Next up, Day Two! 

[bekaroth-reads]

Dipper vs Bill (Gravity Falls)

Dipper and Mabel were ecstatic. Stan and Ford were going to be porting in a harbor the next town over from them, and the young teens' parents were letting them go stay with them. They were going to be spending the night on the boat and the next day sailing around in it. "Oh, my gosh, Dipper! I'm flipping out here!" Mabel cheered excitedly as they made it to the docks to start looking for the right boat. "I know, right?" Dipper agreed as he scanned the area. "It's been almost half a year since we left Gravity Falls. Let's see here- it should be- there!" He exclaimed as he pointed to the vessel that said, "Stans O' War" in sloppy paint letters on the back of it. "I told them they should have let me paint it." Mabel said as she eyed the words with a slight disapproving look. "Well, it's their ship, so they were the ones that should put the name on the back. Besides, I'm pretty sure that they wanted to make sure that you wouldn't make it glittery. Sparkles wouldn't really go with the tough guy sailor vibe they're trying to get across." Dipper answered with a shrug before knocking on the door to the cabin. "What? That's not a thing!" Mabel started with a huff, "Plenty of sailors like sparkly stuff! They're always looking for treasure and what not." She placed her hands on her hips to stand akimbo as her head leaned toward Dipper with a disbelieving look on her face. Before her brother could answer, the conversation was interrupted by the door opening. "Kids! How've ya been?" The gruff voice of Stan erupted from the doorway. "Gruncle Stan!" The twins yelled happily as they almost tackled him in a hug. "Hey, I'm gettin' too old to be ambushed like this." He chuckled as he regained his balance. "What were you two goin' back and forth about out there anyways?" Stan asked them as they went the rest of the way into the cabin. Mabel gasped as she remember the debate that she and Dipper were just having. "Oh, yeah! Gruncle Stan, do sailors like sparkles?" She asked as she tilted her head to the side as she waited for an answer. "Kid, I don't know where you heard about that, but you're too young to hear any more." Stan replied with a slightly concern face. "Hi, Great Uncle Ford!" Dipper called to the other man sitting at a desk in the corner. "Well, hello!" was all he replied before jotting something else in the journal on the desk in front of him. Once he was done he placed a book mark down on the page, closed the journal, and turned around so he could actually be part of the group that was now in the small cabin of the boat. "So, what should we do now that we're all back together again?" Stan asked after they had all talked and caught up a bit. "Let's go to town! We can window shop since Gruncle Stan is too cheap to actual shop!" Mabel said excitedly as she pointed out the porthole and down the docks toward the town. Almost as soon as she suggested that, Ford got a look on his face that everyone could tell meant he had major reservations about the idea. Of course Stan was the first one to confront his brother. "Alright, Poindexter, what's with the face?" He asked with slight irritation in his voice. "Stanly, we just got into port, and I think it would be a better idea to stay and rest here rather than run ourselves ragged by going all over town." Ford replied as he adjusted his glasses. "No," Stan started back, the irritation showing more now than it previously was, "you just want to be a hermit and not interact with people as per usual, but that's not fair to the kids. We're gonna be on this boat all day tomorrow, so let's go into town today." Suddenly there was a loud crash out the deck, and the sounds a man on the dock panicking. "What the-" Stan barked as he went to the small porthole on the cabin wall to see what was happening. "You've gotta be kidding me! That idiot just spilled a bucket of somethin' all over the deck!" And with that Stan was out the door to have a few choice words with the man outside. Ford walked to the door and closed it. "Kids, we need to talk while Stan isn't around. Besides, I'm fairly certain you shouldn't be hearing the majority of what he would be saying." He said before turning to them. Mabel and Dipper got a little laugh at the comment that their uncle made about his brother, but then stopped and became very attentive when they saw the somber look on his face. "Look, there's been something going on with Stan, and it's becoming increasingly more worrisome. You see, he's started to regain his memories at an increasingly fast rate." The twins looked at each other as if to ask each other why that was a bad thing. Ford saw them, and answered their question before they had a chance to verbally ask him. "I know, that sounds like it would be a good thing. The problem comes from the fact he's not remembering thing like family, friends, or anything like that sort. It all has to do with the supernatural encounters that have happened over the past year. At first I thought that it was harmless, but then I realized that there is the potential to be a problem. No, a catastrophe!" Both Mabel and Dipper knew that if Ford thought there was going to be something going south then there was little chance that he was wrong. Ford took a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. "The one of the things I'm trying to keep him from remembering is anything to do with Bill. Bill was contained inside of his mind, and I think that the only thing keeping him prisoner there is the fact that Stan doesn't remember him. If we aren't careful Bill could be released, so that's why I decided to port here and why we shouldn't go to town. I'm trying to avoid any sort of situation that might trigger any memories involving that dream demon. We all have a tendency to attract odd things and situations, so we need at least some form a isolations from largely populated area in order to be sure to not encounter something." Both Dipper and Mabel understood what their uncle was talking about and wouldn't want anything to happen to Stan, or let Bill Cipher be free to roam the earth, but that didn't mean they weren't bummed about being stuck on the boat instead of actually getting to go do something with their uncles. They were also aware that if there was a mess on the deck then they were probably going to have to help clean it up. "Ugh! I can't believe that we came out here just to do chores! I thought this thing was called, "Stans O' War," not, "Stans O' -Bore-!" Mabel said as she threw her hands in the air in frustration after Ford had walked out of the cabin (she was upset with the situation, but didn't want to make him feel bad). "Mabel, that pun was awful." Dipper said flatly to his sister. She stomped over to a chair in the corner, threw herself down with a huff, and practically yelled, "This situation is awful!" Later that night after the deck was cleaned and the four of them had talked and laughed about many different things, (a bit about Gravity Falls, but the subject quickly turned to all of Stan's misadventures during his younger years), the kids went to sleep in the cabin while the two men went out to talk on the deck for a little bit longer. Dipper started out sleeping fine. It was a calm, dreamless sleep. It was when he started to dream that things started to get complicated. He suddenly found himself back at Mystery Shack, the way it looked before Soos took over, (not that Soos changed many things, but there were differences). "What the heck?" He almost whispered as he looked around at the surrounding forest. With nothing seeming to really catch his interest outside, Dipper decided that he would go into the actual shack to see what was in there. Once inside, he confirmed everything was still exactly the way it had been over the previous summer. The shop, the museum area, the kitchen, the living room, all of it was the same. "Well, maybe if I can't sleep in real life, then I can at least go to bed here." He huffed, still feeling some of the tiredness of real life in his dream. After making the small trek up to Mabel and his room, he flopped down onto his bed and closed his eyes. While he lay there trying to fall asleep, a thought suddenly hit him. "Wait, if I have the Mystery Shack all to myself, then that means that I could go look through all of Great-Uncle Ford's lab!" He was excited to say the least. He knew that it was a dream, and that he would probably be making up half of the things down there, but he didn't care. It was more the thought of being able to do so in the first place the excited him. When he sat up to go back downstairs, something caught his eye. The window between the two beds had what looked like sunlight coming through it. It wasn't clear sunlight like you would see during the morning or afternoon, though. It had a light orange, almost yellow tint to it, like one would see at sunset. That didn't make any sense though. Because of the placement of the window the sun only shone through it directly when it was early morning, there would be no way that the light of a sunset could get through. There was somethin else that made this whole thing seem off. Aside from the fact that the light wasn't there when he first entered the room, the fact that there wasn't light outside was to be taken into account as well. It wasn't like it was pitch black or even night time, but everything seemed like it was more of a picture of things that were actually there. Come to think of it, everything was sort of washed out, almost black and white looking aside from the plane splashes of color here and there like when he was in- "Oh, no!" Dipper almost whispered as he quickly backed away from the lights that he now recognized as a yellow triangle on the floor. "Oh, yes, Pine Tree!" An all too familiar voice replied as the light compacted into a single area on the floor that he started floating in the air. "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! I can't believe you thought I was gone for good." Bill said as he turned around and stretched his arms and legs as his trademark hat materialized above his head. Dipper was speechless. If Bill was trapped inside of Stan's mind then how was it that he was here? "Great question, Pine Tree." Bill responded without even needing to hear it ask. This bugged Dipper to no end because he was sure that Bill could find the thoughts of the person who's mind he was in. That could mean that he was in Dipper's mind now, or that he had somehow gotten the ability to read everyone's mind, neither of which sounded like good things. Dipper decided that the best corse of action would be to push theories aside for the moment, and ask Bill about it. Weather or not he was going to get a straight answer from the demon was another fact entirely, but there was no harm in trying. "I didn't even ask you anything. How would you even know that I had a question?" Dipper asked with clear frustration in his voice. "Aw, come on!" Bill started as he leaned back like he was lounging in a chair. "It was written ALL over your face, which you should see right now by the way because it is priceless!" He laughed as he pointed to the topic of conversation. Dipper turned his face in an effort to get away from Bill, but Bill simply floated over so he could still be seen. "Look, kid. You wanna know how I got out of Stanly's mind? The answer is: I haven't." Bill said with an ever so slight hint of annoyance showing through. "But, how are you here if you're still stuck in Stan's mind?" Dipper asked, more confused now than ever. "As sharp as ever, kid!" Bill said as he snapped his fingers and some daggers appeared next to him. Dipper dove out of the way quickly, narrowly missing the daggers as they came flying in his direction. One of them caught his sleeve, and put a shallow cut on his upper arm. "Anyways, I have a proposal for you." Bill said as he adjusted his bowtie. Dipper didn't answer him because he was too busy attending to his arm. "Look, I'm willing to let YOU let ME into your mind, like permanently. You see right now I'm just projecting my subconscious into your subconscious. It's like that one movie with the guy from the broken ship!" Before Dipper could answer, a large, unseen force that sounded like someone playing an entire brass section in his ears sent him flying across the room, and slammed into a wall. Dazed, short on breath, ears ringing, and arm still hurting, the young teen was more aware than ever that the triangular figure in front of him was not happy the see him. "Ah-ha-ha-ha! What's wrong, Pine Tree?" Bill cackled as he looked at the beat up boy that was slumped over on the floor in front of him. "Get over yourself, Bill." Dipper mumbled as he stood up with a hiss because the pain that he was in before he continuing in a clearer tone. "Why would I ever let you all the way into my mind? I don't want you here to this extent!" Bill rolled his eye and crossed his arms. Boy, humans could be so annoying! Especially if their last name was Pines! All that aside, he still had big plans ahead and he wouldn't let them ruin it from him. "Well, you see," Bill started as he floated closer to where Dipper was, "I want a do over on Weirdmageddon. Who knows, maybe I'll even go with that other name you guys had for it. What was it again?" Bill turned back to the window in the room as he lost himself in thought trying to remember what the other name that the people of Gravity Falls gave to his brief reign. Dipper took this opportunity make for the door and get away from his tormentor. He went as quietly as he could, but was more concerned about getting out of the room quickly. He was right by the back door when Bill yelling in realization rang through the house. "Odd-pocalypse!" Bill said with a snap of his fingers and turned around to see that Dipper was no longer there. "What the-PINES!" He roared as he became gigantic and started to glow red, his eye turned pitch black and the pupil within turned blood red. The latter of his exclamations was what Dipper heard. There was no time for subtlety now, and Dipper bolted out the door in an effort to put some space between he and Bill, even though he know that it probably wouldn't do much good. He looked around briefly to try to get some sort of plan. Whilst looking, Dipper's eyes caught sight of the back porch. "That hole I found with Gompers! I can dive into the lab, and hide there, or maybe even try to find something to help me!" He thought as he ran towards the spot in question. Dipper bounced off of the lab wall opposite of where he entered and tumbled on the floor as he landed. He quickly got himself up and into the other room. The only people that knew about the entry to the lab were Ford, Gompers, and himself. Bill couldn't have found out from Ford because he couldn't get into his mind, and, unless Bill had decided to invade the thought process of a goat, there would be no way that he would know where Dipper was. Even so there was the possibility that he could find the hole and figure out where Dipper went. There was only one solution to this situation, he needed to find something to defend himself from Bill. There was the usual things that could be found in the lab, but most of the things that could have been of use to him were under lock and key. Suddenly, he saw a jar with something that he knew he could use. He ran over to the shelf that the jar was on and grabbed it. It was just in the nick of time too, because as soon as he did Bill's voice rang through the lab. "Well, well, well! I've got to say; you really had me going there for a minute." Bill fazed through the ceiling a short distance from where Dipper was standing. "You know, I'm not even sure how you got down here so quickly, but apparently you found some way, so colored me impressed!" Bill finger gunned in towards Dipper, who dodged out of the way even though nothing actually came towards him. He didn't want to take any chances with Bill. "Wow, jumpy aren't we, Pine Tree?" Bill said with a degrading look. "Anyway, I didn't get to answer your question earlier. You want to know why you should let me into your mind? The answer's real simple. You see, I'm not too powerful in Stan's mind because of all the barriers that erasing his memory has put up. I need to be in someone else's mind so I can get out." Bill gave his reason like it was a totally justified thing, like Dipper should trust him regardless of what he had done in the past. "No way! I'd never let a maniac like you into my mind OR into the world!" Dipper snapped angrily as he pointed at Bill in a manor that seemed to be calling him out for everything he had done. Bill's expression changed from amused back to angry. "I wouldn't get cocky, Pines! You aren't the only one I can try to persuade." Bill's threat didn't frighten Dipper, who immediately knew the best response. "You can't get into Ford's head! That's just an empty threat!" Dipper beamed with pride at the intelligent comeback he just delivered. Bill, on the other hand, would have thought the answer amusing if he wasn't already past the point of wanting to kill the teen with every fiber of his being. "I'm well aware, and I wasn't talking about Ford!" The demon yelled, his voice starting to distort. Dipper stood there bemused for a moment, but not for long before he realized exactly who Bill was talking about: Mabel. There was no way that he would let this triangular freak do anything to his sister. Without any hesitation or thought of strategy whatsoever, Dipper threw the jar that he had been holding. It flew into the air, hit the ceiling, and shattered. "You idiot! You missed-"Bill's taunt was cut off when the cycloptopus that was in the now broken jar jumped from the ceiling and straight onto Bill's eye. This gave Dipper time to form an actual plan. He tried to think of an option whilst Bill was bouncing about from wall to wall screaming profanities. There would only be a limited time to do so before Bill got the cycloptopus off and regenerated his eye, so he had to think quickly. "There are plenty weapons and objects of Great-Uncle Ford's that I could use down here, but they're all locked somehow." Dipper thought as he looked around at the different cases and shelves that were around him. "There's no way I can get to any of these things! The glass is bullet proof, so I can't break it. And, for the life of me, I can't think of any of where he would have put the keys or what his security codes would be! I-" Dipper stopped suddenly; part of his last inter-ramblings making him remember something that would have been extremely helpful earlier. "I'm in my own mind right now!" He actually said out loud because of how excited he was. When Bill was finally able to get the nasty monster off of his eye, and regenerated said body part a few minutes later, he was met with a rude surprise. He was sent flying across the room by a burst of energy. When Bill was finally able to see what was going on he saw Dipper standing on the other end of the room with a rather fancy looking laser gun. He was taken aback to say the least. Not that he should have been, but the fact that the Pines family without fail managed to become even more annoying almost every time he saw them was almost more than he could bare sometimes. "Bill, get out of my mind." Dipper said firmly, working desperately to keep his voice in check so it didn't crack like it was known to at times. "Oh, right. Like I'm going to listen to a pathetic whelp like you." Bill sneered as he got himself back up into the air. "Yes, you are! This is my mind and you're not welcome here! Also you're not as powerful as you once were, so you can't fight me on this!" Dipper yelled in an attempt to assert his dominance. "Listen, Pine Tree, if you think you're going to kick me out with that thing-" Bill pointed to the gun in Dipper's hands and then stopped. "Where DID you even get that from?" The demon asked with frustrated confusion in his voice. "I got it from the lab." Dipper answered curtly, not wanting to go into detail. "You did not!" Bill said more angry than confused this time. "I've been down here plenty of times, and I never saw anything like that!" He continued while his eye started to turn black and red once again. "Will you just shut up and get out of here!" Dipper yelled angrily as he shot the gun again, this time holding down the trigger so a continuos stream of energy shot out. The longer Dipper healed down the trigger, the brighter the room got. Finally, it got to a point where he couldn't se anything, and he had to let go because the intensity of the light was hurting his eyes. When the light had faded, Dipper's eyes had adjusted, and the dust had settled Bill was gone. There wasn't even a trace of the demon left. With a sigh, Dipper made his way up the stairs of the lab, and into the main part of the house. His idea was to go back up to his room, but he did not have the energy to even make it that far. He settled on going and sitting on Stan's big chair in the living room. Once there, Dipper practically threw himself in the general direction of where he wanted to go. Luckily, he actually landed where he intended, and just scooted himself the rest of the way onto the chair after a little while of lying there limply. Once seated properly on the chair, he let out a sigh of relief. "I can't believe that I actually got rid of Bill. I thought it would be harder." Dipper thought out loud as he sat there in the quiet. He knew that something like an imaginary laser gun wouldn't have really done anything to Bill in the past, but it seemed to work this time. Come to think of it, Bill said that he was merely projecting himself from Stan's mind, so maybe that made him weaker than usual. Right as he started to fall asleep, an all too familiar laugh made him wake up instantly. "Ah-ha-ha-ha! You really thought that you could make me go away that easily? Wow, Pine Tree, that's unbelievably stupid, even for you!" Bill's voice seemed as though it was actually coming from everywhere at once. Dipper looked all around the room the see where his adversary could be, but everything looked like how it should. He went through the entire house, upstairs and down until the only rooms left were Ford's room and the bathroom. He decided the check the latter first. When he got there he froze in horror when he saw himself in the mirror. He was extremely beat up looking, but that's not what frightened him. The true horror came from the fact that cut on his arm that he got earlier was now Bill Cipher's eye. It looked every which direction until it made contact with Dipper's. "You'll never get rid of me, kid! I'll always be there to ruin your family's lives! I'll always be there! Always!" Bill continued to yell threats and other ominous phrases while the veins in Dipper's arm that were by the eye progressively turned black. Not being able to take anymore, Dipper passed out as the black substance started to spread throughout the rest of his body. Dipper sat up with a gasp, and was relieved to find himself back on the boat. Quickly, he looked over at his arm where the eye had been, and was even more relieved when it wasn't there. He was starting to settle down his breathing when he heard Ford from his desk at the other side of the cabin. "Dipper, are you alright?" He asked as he walked over to the young teen. "Yeah, I- where's Gruncle Stan?" Dipper asked, not wanting to be the one to talking about Bill too much in front of him and make him remember too much. "Stan's still out on the deck. Why?" Ford asked slightly perplexed. When he was sure that the coast was clear, Dipper told his uncle what had just happened. Ford sat there in a very stoic manner as he listened and analyzed what Dipper was saying. "He said that if I wouldn't let him into my mind that he would go after Mabel." Dipper said more worried than ever as he looked over to where his sister was sleeping. Ford sat there for a moment while he tried to think of what to do. "Well, I think for now we can-" "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Mabel's scream made the two of them jump and Stan rush into the cabin. They all ran over to see what was going on. "Mabel! Mabel, are you alright?" Dipper asked his sister as he put a hand on her shoulder. She sat up quickly with a stuffed unicorn hanging off of her teeth. "No!" She whined, he speech being somewhat hindered due to the unicorn. "I fell asleep with my mouth open, and Princess Lovicorn's hear got stuck in my braces!" The others stopped and laughed for a moment before they started to find way to get Mabel untangled from her doll. Stan thought the whole thing was hilarious, but Dipper and Ford mostly felt relieved that it was just the unicorn and not Bill going through with his plan to target the girl. Either way, both of them were going to keep an eye on things for awhile. Dipper, though tired as he was, stayed up the rest of the night to keep watch over Mabel. He wanted to be sure that nothing would happen to her. Besides, there was absolutely no way that he was going back to sleep tonight.