#because garden is a highly specific thing over here

[shrekgogurt]

wanting to soft launch saying flat instead of apartment around my ipl friends because it’s so much less effort but when I said “uni” once they bullied me relentlessly

[springtyme]

🪐 Hi Sagie! I looove your baby fever fics with 141 and könig! I you have any hcs for them, like will they have more babies in the future? (I’m especially in love with the soap ones, you made the family scenario feel so real❤️)

I’m so happy to hear that you like those fics, they are some of my favourites I’ve written, and I’m especially happy to hear that you like the johnny one, cause I have actually thought about writing some for that specific version of him because I liked writing them so much. These are just some quick, random thoughts about how I think the future could look like for the guys and reader in the different scenarios. I might change it if I decide to write more about them in the future, though. But I had so much fun writing this, so thank you so much for the ask, dear anon! ♡

The fics this is based on: part one & part two

Ghost ♡

I don’t actually think that you and Simon will have more children after your daughter. She wasn’t planned, but she is so loved and cherished by both of you, and he is so extremely happy and grateful that it happened, being a family was something Simon never thought he would be allowed to experience, and he had always secretly wished for it, but he also has a lot of insecurities and anxieties about being a father. He wants to give your little girl all that he never had growing up. You and your daughter are absolutely everything to him, and the two of you have filled the hole that had been gnawing at his heart for so, so long. He doesn’t need more, he is complete now. One kid, one fur baby, and having found the love of his life is all he needs to be happy and content. I also think that he is also very aware about how demanding his job is and the fact that he often is gone and has to leave for weeks at a time, leaving you back home alone so only having one kid to look after when he is not there to help,  makes things more manageable for you and I think that is something he would value highly, not wanting to leave you overwhelmed and stretched thin. And he is so, so grateful for you and all that you do for your family.

Price ♡

Again, I don’t think you and John are going to have more kids, just like Simon he is very aware of the demands of his job, despite the decision of retiring from fieldwork after you had your son, he is still often away on base and works long hours, plus he also isn’t as young as he has been anymore. He values the time he gets to spend with you and your son, and he loves the family dynamic you all have. He loves being present and active in your son’s life, and he wants to make sure he can give him all the love and attention he deserves. You and John have built a beautiful life together, and he is so grateful for everything you’ve given him, and he makes sure you’re always taking care of. John values quality time with you and your boy extremely highly, he never misses a single football game, school event, or milestone, and he cherishes every moment he gets to spend with the two of you.   

Gaz ♡

So, you and Kyle will stay in your flat for the first three years of your son’s life until you move to something bigger, after finding out that you are expecting your second child. It is a lovely, little semi-detached house, with garden to three sides and here you welcome your second baby, a little girl this time. Kyle is absolutely over the moon with the idea of expanding your little family, and he can’t wait to give your son a sister to look out for. Kyle absolutely loves being a father and is so grateful for the life you have built together. He is so excited for this next chapter in your lives, it is something he has been excited for almost since he first met you. Kyle is a very hands-on dad, always eager to help out with the kids and make sure you have some time for yourself and he makes a big deal out of having quality time with both kids and making sure they both feel loved and cherished. He is so proud and grateful for the family you have created together. 

 Soap ♡

Okay, it all started out with a comment about how you and Johnny had to balance out all the boys in his family and you did. Johnny becomes the ultimate girl dad. You end up with three girls who are around three years apart from each other. He loves being surrounded by his girls and is so grateful for the special bond he has with each of them. He is always there to support and protect them, and he cherishes every moment he gets to spend with them. His family absolutely adores you all, and he is so thankful for the love and happiness you have brought into his life. (Your oldest daughter’s middle name is Teresa after Johnny’s mother, but when you had your second girl there was no doubt between you and Johnny about what hers was going to be; Maighread.) 

König ♡

So, I kind of see two scenarios for this one. 

The pregnancy with the twins was pretty hard on poor mama, having to carry an absolute unit of a man's children and all, so I could kind of see you not having more after that. It was always your plan to have 2-3 kids, so when the twins turned out to be a boy and a girl it kind of just seemed perfect and complete with a family of four. 

But I could also see the twins being two boys though. Two chunky, happy babies who turn into a pair of cheeky, energetic toddlers, running around together, causing chaos and laughter wherever they go. And even though they are fraternal, they look a lot alike, both a spitting image of their father, despite having inherited your eyes, but their faces are still all König, from the way they scrunch their nose to the dimples on their cheeks when they smile. They are a handful and keep you on your toes, but they are also the sweetest and most loving little boys. It is a few months before the boy’s seventh birthday when you and König start to think about maybe expanding your family again. And it’s only a few weeks after their birthday that you find out that you are pregnant again. The pregnancy is much easier this time around, König still creating a chunk of a kid, but this time you’re only having one. And this time it is a little girl who instantly steals the hearts of her father and big brothers. The twins dote on her, constantly showering her with love and attention, always looking out for her and making sure she is safe. And König is absolutely wrapped around her tiny finger, and truly a sight for sore eyes to see the giant man doting over his little princess.    

[los-plantalones]

Let’s talk about bulbils! joey makes fun of me on the reg for stealing these from all the forgotten scapes but GUYS

when garlic is done flowering, it leaves behind a small clone of the underground bulb at the top of the stalk (scape). ↓

as seen here in my one of my more popular tiktoks, with over 6 comments worldwide

this smol clone bulb is SO smol in fact, that instead of being called bulbs, they’re called bulbils. 🥹 you can plant them the same way you do a regular bulb, and doing so will even help to better accclimate your garlic to your specific growing conditions!! and doesn’t transmit soil-born disease!!! highly recommend if you want a 2-year garden project.

did i also mention that they are EDIBLE?

they are tiny bombs of garlic that you can do all kinds of fun things with without much work

toss them in salad! sprinkle em on top of pizza (my jersey trash fave!) crush em and toast them and have the best thing to dust on EVERYTHING

here i made garlic bulbil biscuits. just add them to dough as is!

common garlic is great to use for this if you grow it, but you can ALSO do this with field garlic (AKA onion grass, wild onion, allium vinneale, crow garlic). this is what i use mostly because it’s DAMN EVERYWHERE

enjoy fun knowledge and eat more garlic (future epitaph 💕)

[monocledostrich-ccfinds]

☆ Tales of Reverie Legacy Challenge ☆

Welcome to a new legacy challenge!

This is the official page for the Tales of Reverie Legacy Challenge made by me: monocledostrich.

Do you ever get tired of playing the same things over and over again in the Sims? Because I often find myself in those situations. So I decided to make my own legacy challenge and add a ton of drama and chaos and use elements of the game I never use. This legacy challenge will hold equal parts chaos and wholesomeness. Each generation is different. And I really wanted to use gameplay that I never have before, so I’m excited to play through. So if that seems like it's up your alley, this is the legacy for you.

PSA

At the end of the day, this is just a challenge. If you don't like something change it in your own gameplay. If you want to skip a generation, feel free. It's entirely up to you how your story plays out.

I like to play my game realistically and include real life issues. If you don't want to add those into your own gameplay that is more than okay.

I will be updating the google doc which will have a list of each generation's goals as I write more gen’s and play this challenge for myself. Make sure to save the google doc via File > Make A Copy to stay up to date!

Tag your posts with #TalesofReverieLC so I can see them! Use the same tag on the gallery so I can see your simmies!

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RULES

No money cheats allowed (unless specifically mentioned in each gen) because we love a struggle.

You must complete the stated goals for each gen to fully complete it.

You must play on Normal lifespan. I have mine altered in MC Command Center to allow for more realistic gameplay. I recommend using 7 or 14 day seasons in game.

Upon succession you may cheat the age of your heir back to day 0 if you feel like you need to in order to better complete their generation. I, however, love a struggle.

You may use ONE potion of youth per generation, but only if you really feel like you need to in order to complete the challenge. But if you have updated your lifespan days you shouldn't need to use it.

You can purchase any trait rewards from the rewards store at your leisure. Excluding the money tree.

If you wish to use modded traits rather than in game traits that is perfectly acceptable. Just ensure they are very similar to the required in game traits for each gen. 

This challenge uses pretty much all of the packs, however I have omitted several things that I personally do not like playing with (such as the N.A.P system from Eco Lifestyle and Batuu).

Mods are most definitely encouraged. I use a variety to improve gameplay. In fact, a lot of this challenge includes mods. You in no way have to use them and can take out specific goals that require them if you do not want to use mods. However, I highly recommend them.

Most importantly, have fun with this challenge. Change any rules you don’t like. Skip generations, make up your own. Go wild. This is just a guideline for gameplay. A challenge you will hopefully enjoy. At the end of the day the goal is to have fun gameplay.

SUCCESSION RULES

HEIR SELECTION

Heirs can be any of the offspring of your previous gen. It is purely based on your preference alone. UNLESS it is specifically stated in the gen goals. (In some cases it specifically states which child must be the heir).

SUCCESSION

Succession occurs once all of your previous gen’s goals have been completed, or once they become an Elder.

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CHECKLIST

You can find the checklist for the challenge goals here. I won't be updating this tumblr post much, so make sure to check out the google doc to stay up to date.

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GEN 1

Your whole life you have dreamt of having a garden blooming with flowers. With nothing tying you to your hometown, you move onto an empty plot of land amidst the lush greenery of Henford-on-Bagley. Only, you never realised how expensive your dream was. All you have are the clothes on your back, a dingy tent, and $0 to your name. But all dreams start somewhere, right? You spend your days foraging, gardening, and flower arranging until you can afford to build your own cottage that you cover with plants and cosy decor. You begin to cultivate your land, grow lush gardens, and slowly build the orchard of your dreams. But something is missing from your life. You’ve always idealised love, but it’s hard to meet anyone when your farm keeps you so busy. So, you turn to your friends for advice. 

You go on several blind dates but no one seems to have the same ideals as you. Until your best friend sets you up with the most alluring person you have ever seen. There’s just something about them, with their rugged looks and serious yet warm personality that lures you in. The only downfall is, they’re only in town for a few days. But you decide to make the most of the short time you’ll spend together and have a fleeting summer fling. They leave and you never think you’ll see them again. It isn’t until they’re gone that you find out you’re pregnant. With no way to contact them, you decide to raise your child alone. Years pass, and your past threatens to unravel the reverie you have found yourself in when your summer fling returns. You’ve made a life for yourself. Your garden is flourishing, all your dreams are coming true, and you have a child you adore above all else. You have everything you’ve always wanted. Except love.

Do you tell your summer fling about their child and start a life with them, or do you find love elsewhere? Only YOU can decide your fate.

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Loves Outdoors 

Generous 

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Country Caretaker

SKILLS

Gardening

Flower Arranging

Nectar Making

CAREER

None

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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GEN 2

Growing up, you find it difficult to make friends. Your only true friends are your parents, siblings, and the animals you grew up with. Your whole life you have admired your parents' fierce love for one another. All you want in life is to find someone who loves you like that, but it’s hard when you are so clumsy and quiet. During high school you fall for one of your classmates. They are your first love. Your first kiss. You even sneak out the night before prom and share your first woohoo with them. You are excited about what the future holds and imagine a life with them, but your dreams are squashed when you catch them cheating on you during prom.

Heartbroken, you blame yourself for your partner’s infidelity. You finish school and move to the city with your sibling. You bury yourself in baked goods and dream of opening your own bakery. You push love to the back of your mind, swear off dating and relationships altogether, and vow to remain celibate until marriage, not wanting to ever go through the pain and hardship of your last relationship again. But upon your bakery’s opening day, you happen to meet the most attractive, down to earth person you have ever met. You instantly feel a connection, but you distance yourself, afraid of getting hurt again. As time passes, this person continues to buy your baked goods and you soon become friends.

Time is quickly running out for you to have a family, and that thought is ever present in your mind. But one day, as you’re planning to go on your first date in years, your friend comes to you and professes their feelings for you. You decide to hazard a risk and go out with them. It is the best decision of your life. You achieve all your dreams. You have a bustling bakery, a loving spouse, and beautiful children you raise in the kitchen. Your home is filled with light and love. It is chaotic and messy, but you embrace it as a family. You grow old and wrinkly with your spouse, glad that you took a chance on love all those years ago.

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Foodie

Clumsy

Choose another

ASPIRATION

Soulmate

SKILLS

Baking

Knitting

Cross Stitch

CAREER

Baker. Either:

Open your own bakery.

Install a baker career mod.

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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GEN 3

Anger has always come easily to you. You find it hard to express your emotions despite having such a loving, supportive family. Your parents encourage you to find an outlet for your anger, so you try many different hobbies, until you find your true passion in cooking. As a teen, you quickly realise you don’t just want to cook, you want to be the best chef in town. You start a Simstagram, where you post photos of your delicious creations, and quickly gain a following. When you finish school, you run off to become a famous chef. It isn’t until you suffer through long hours and painful bosses that you realise you have no desire to be managed. So, you quit your job and open your own restaurant. You quickly gain the fame you desired all these years. 

There’s only one problem. There is a petulant food critic that constantly feels the need to write bad reviews about your restaurant. Nothing enrages you more, and you finally have enough and confront them. You let your anger get the best of you. As do they. But through your anger, you realise there is something much deeper at work here. You end up having a one night stand. You hate how badly you want them, and flee the scene. But it happens again, and again, until finally one of you snaps and reveals you want more than just passionate fun. Your whole life you never expected to fall for someone like them. You move in together and start talking about the future, and kids. You find out you’re expecting, but just as your partner is about to propose, a freak accident takes them from you.

You have never felt such pain, and quickly spiral into depression. You lose all the fame you worked so hard to achieve and cannot even imagine going on. It isn’t until you look into your child’s eyes—the same eyes as your partner—that you realise they would have wanted their child to achieve all their dreams. You pull yourself from your depression, determined to be a good role model for your child. You strive for your ambition and raise your child to believe any dream is possible. You never reclaim your fame, but you work tirelessly in your restaurant and raise your child within its walls. You vow to never love again after what happened to your partner, and you never do. Your love for your child—the child you and your partner created together—is more than enough. At least, that’s what you tell yourself every night.

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Creative

Hot Headed

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Appliance Whiz

Master Chef

SKILLS

Cooking

Gourmet Cooking

Photography

CAREER

Culinary — Chef

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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GEN 4

Your whole life you have striven for one thing — your ambition. You saw the way your parent dominated in their career, and you want the same for yourself. You’ve always wanted to be a world famous journalist, so upon graduating high school you set off for university and don't look back. You’ve never wanted a family, and after hearing the tale of your parents' love and how hard it was for your parent to move on, you become determined to never let anything distract you from your career aspirations. So, you vow to live with detachment, to never form meaningful relationships with the romantic partners in your life. Especially once you graduate and get the job of your dreams. You hyper focus on work, love every aspect of it, and even go to work on your off hours. If anyone is a workaholic it’s you. Nothing will hold you back.

But after the condom breaks during one wild woohoo session with one of your many situationships, and you find out you’re pregnant, you think your life is over. You never wanted a child, especially this early in your career. You have a rough pregnancy, which forces you to take a step back from work and be passed over for promotions. Once your child is born, you can barely stand to look at them. You hire a full-time nanny to raise them so you can focus on your career. You know you’ll never have a good relationship with your child. Every time you see them you’re reminded of everything they cost you.

It isn’t until you enter Adulthood that you realise doing nothing but work isn’t what life is about. You find yourself burning out. You have a midlife crisis and develop the sudden desire to not only be the best at your job, but to have the best family. You realise your fears of attachment and love were only holding you back from the happiness you deserve. You meet someone, marry and decide to start your family. You’re determined to be a good mother to your children, feeling guilty for how you treated your firstborn. But it’s too late to fix it now, especially when you can barely look them in the eye. You try to make up for it with your new family, to have the career and the family of your dreams in one neatly bundled package.

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Ambitious

Perfectionist

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Neighbourhood Confidante

SKILLS

Writing

Charisma

CAREER

Writer — Journalist

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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GEN 5

You grew up to believe you didn’t deserve love. You never have lasting relationships because you constantly sabotage them any time anyone gets too close. You spend your days as a child drawing and painting, and making up stories with your imaginary friends. Your closest friendship was with your oversized pal Blarffy. Your relationship with your mother is strained and always will be. You know she will never be able to look at you without seeing a disappointment. You don’t get along with your half siblings. Mainly because you’ve always been jealous of the love and attention they received compared to you. And despite your step-parent trying to be kind to you, you always knew they would never accept you as their own.

As a teen, you get the amazing opportunity to travel to Tomarang with a few classmates and you jump at the chance. Your mother barely even knows you’re there, and has no issue sending you off to a foreign country. While in Tomarang you absolutely fall in love with the culture and know you want to come back one day. When you return home it’s as if you were never gone. As soon as you receive your college acceptance letter, you move out, determined to never return again. At a university party, you meet a fellow student who you have great compatibility with. You start to develop feelings. They treasure you and make you believe you’re worth the world. You fall hard, and when they propose after graduation you say yes instantly. You move into a big beautiful house in the perfect neighbourhood. You talk about your future plans, about children, and what your lives will look like after you're married. But as wedding preparations take over, you feel yourself starting to grow distant. Your fears rise up and take control. You end up having a one night stand with your fiancé’s best man the night before the wedding. When it comes time to walk down the aisle, your emotions get the best of you and you realise you can’t do this, that your fiancé deserves better, so you leave them at the altar and run away to Tomarang. It isn’t until you’re settled that you find out you’re pregnant, and you don’t know who the father is — your ex-fiancé or their best friend.

You decide to raise your child alone. But when your child is heading off to high school you bring them along when you return to the town you planned to settle down in all those years ago. You’re only in town for a couple of days, for an art showcase at a new gallery. You never expected in all your wildest dreams that you would stumble across your ex-fiancé at the same event. Do you reconnect, or will old wounds hinder your chance for redemption?

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Loner

Socially Awkward

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Fount of Tomarani Knowledge

SKILLS

Painting

Photography

CAREER

Freelancer — Digital Artist

Painter — Patron of the Arts

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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GEN 6

Your childhood was far from ordinary. Raised to seek adventure, you quickly discover your love of foreign cultures and desire to learn more. As a child you are very inquisitive and constantly find yourself mesmerised by ancient civilisations. Every time your parent travels for work you go off and explore, thrilled by every new adventure that awaits you. It’s no wonder that after you visit Selvadorada you dream of returning.

When you leave home for university you throw yourself into your studies, but in your spare time you research everything there is to know about Selvadorada. You don’t get involved in any clubs or groups, preferring your solitude. After graduation, you take a week-long vacation to Selvadorada, and are determined to uncover its secrets. You work hard as a professor, while pursuing your true passion. Archaeology. You’re barely ever home, and are always on the move. You seek adventure at every turn. You write scholarly papers about your archeological finds and become quite well known in your field. But during your next visit to Selvadorada you find yourself in a tricky situation. A local happens upon you and rescues you from certain doom. Your relationship with this person starts off rocky, but as you find yourself in more and more tricky situations you slowly start to develop feelings for this person. You’ve never given much thought to love or romance after seeing how content your parent was raising you alone, but you can’t deny the feelings blossoming within you. You never think in your wildest dreams that the feeling is mutual. Until one day everything changes.

You start to achieve everything you ever dreamed of. You have a gorgeous spouse, a big, beautiful house decorated with strange artefacts, and a brood of bright children. But your career is weighing you down. So, you quit your job to pursue your passion full time. You focus on your family and realise your own education was far from normal. You never had any friends growing up since you travelled so much, and you don’t want that same upbringing for your children. You still take them with you on vacations, but you also ensure they are happy, and raise them to focus on their passions.

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Self Assured

Adventurous

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Archaeology Scholar

SKILLS

Archaeology

Selvadoradian Culture

Research & Debate

CAREER

Education — Professor

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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GEN 7

From a young age, you often feel lonely. Travelling with your family so much limited your ability to form deep connections. Your only true friends were the strays you convinced your parents to adopt. You find forming relationships with people difficult, whereas with animals you find relationships come with ease. As soon as you find out meat comes from the animals you love so dearly, you become a vegetarian, and dream of becoming a vet so you can help all the animals in need.

As a teen, your parents try to get you to come out of your shell. You join afterschool activities but feel even more isolated than before. It isn’t until you move out of home, adopt several pets, and start working as a vet that you meet the love of your life. You fall madly in love, and eventually move in together. Everything feels easy with them. It isn’t until you fall pregnant that your partner informs you they never want children, and in fact, hate them. You argue about your unborn child, your different life goals, and they try to convince you to terminate. Eventually, you separate angrily.

Alone in the world, pregnant and afraid, you throw yourself into baby preparations. You move to a bigger house, decorate the child’s nursery, and attend every appointment and class you can. You never think you will find love again after the travesty of last time, so when you bump into an insanely attractive doctor at the hospital when you have your first trimester appointment you think nothing of it. But this doctor keeps showing up everywhere. You see them around the hospital, and even around town. You find the situation ironic and agree to meet them for coffee. Eventually, you become close, and they even accompany you to your birth since you don’t want to be alone. After your child is born, they reveal they have feelings for you. You start dating, cautious of love this soon after your last relationship, but everything soon aligns. Your partner treats your first child as if they are their own, and soon adopts them to make it official. You marry and have more kids, and quickly achieve the life you always envisioned — a big, beautiful house filled with cosy, coastal decor, a brood of wonderful children, and numerous pets you pamper with love.

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Animal Enthusiast

Vegetarian

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Friend of the Animals

SKILLS

Veterinarian

Pet Training

CAREER

Veterinarian

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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GEN 8

You always felt special, especially as a child. You grew up loved and cherished, and that is well reflected in your childhood accomplishments. But when you find out your biological father abandoned you before you were even born, you endeavour to find out why. When you find him, you’re hopeful that he will give you an explanation as to why he didn’t want you, but you get the complete opposite. After realising how unwanted you were it turns you bitter. You know your parents love you, but you can’t stop the true feelings of your biological father from hindering your emotions. You become obsessed with academics after this, needing a distraction from the bitterness and jealousy swelling within. You can’t help but feel that you’re an outcast among your siblings, being the only one not biologically related to your father. You feel as if you aren’t a real member of your family, and quickly find your jealousy of your siblings consuming you.

You work hard, get into a distinguished degree, and become determined to have the career of your dreams. Using your parents as inspiration, you strive to become a doctor just like the man who raised you. You swear off all romantic and sexual encounters, not wanting to bring a child into this world unless you have a partner fully devoted to them. You never get into a relationship, and it isn’t until you make it big as a renowned doctor that you feel butterflies for the most unexpected person. It is against the rules to fraternise with this person, but you can’t help it when you feel such chemical attraction for them. You share your first kiss at work, and find yourself in steamy situations during work hours often. You tell yourself to stop, but you can’t deny the feelings blooming within you. Before anything goes any further, you sit them down and discover they, too, want everything you do. A big family, a house in the suburbs, children who excel at everything thrown at them. 

You have a huge traditional wedding, and start your family. Your need to prove your high IQ forces a pressure on your children. You have strict rules and all children must follow them. You seek excellence from your children, determined to have a successful lineage. All of this determination may have stemmed from the complete rejection of your biological father, and you let this completely rule how you raise your own family. You will only accept excellence, and anything below that is not acceptable in your house. You’re certain this is the best—and only—way to raise your family.

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Jealous

Proper

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Successful Lineage

SKILLS

Logic

Parenting

CAREER

Doctor

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

────────────────────────────────────────────

GEN 9

All you wanted your entire life is to make your parents proud. You are a classic overachiever, and feel compelled to do everything possible to ensure you live up to the high standards of your family. You keep your grades well above average, participate in extracurricular activities, and never let your personal feelings affect your life. You only go on dates with people your parents approve of, but something feels off. No one you date interests you in the least. You begin to wonder if something is wrong with you. Especially when you head off to university and still feel no attraction to the opposite sex. You only realise you are gay when you share a kiss with someone of the same sex during a college party. 

You deny your feelings because you know your parents would never approve. So, once you finish university and enter a career in business, knowing that is what your parents would want for you, you let them set you up on another date. Only, this time you really try to feel all the things you should. You marry this person. They become your best friend. You wonder whether this is what marriage is about. Friendship. You’re content with your life. You have a child, a beautiful home, a high powered career, but something is missing from your life. 

It isn’t until you attend a work function and meet the most stunning person and share a heated moment with them that you long for change. You feel guilty because your spouse is the gentlest, kindest person, and you know they don’t deserve this. So, you come out to them. You come to the realisation that you can’t live your life to please others anymore. You want to embrace your true self and find your true passion. You may be afraid of what your family will think, but you have spent too long hiding in the shadows. Will all your dreams come true, or will your life come crumbling down around you?

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Overachiever

Neat

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Academic

SKILLS

Charisma

Fabrication

Entrepreneur

CAREER

Business — Investor

Freelance Crafter

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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GEN 10

You grew up with the perfect childhood, but when a bombshell rocks your family everything around you threatens to crumble. Finding out your parent is gay is harder for you than you expected; especially because it leads to questions about your existence. You can’t help but wonder why you were born at all if your parents didn’t love each other. You crave attention from your parent, and when you don’t receive it, you act out. You fall in with a bad crowd, start breaking the rules, and finding any high you can to feel something. Your discrepancies get you expelled from high school. You refuse to return, and run away to the city to pursue your true passion — acting. Only, your dream seems a little far-fetched. You can’t even get a gig, so you sing on the streets for money. When you finally do start to make a name for yourself as an actor, you become known as the wildcard, constantly hosting and attending parties and sleeping your way to the top.

On New Year's Eve, you attend a party at a co-workers mansion, get drunk, and sleep with three different men. But your life comes crashing to a halt when you find out you’re pregnant. You immediately find out the paternity and tell the father, only he completely dismisses you. Afraid to do this alone, you seek out one of the other men you slept with and tell him the baby is his. Out of obligation, you marry. You give up your career to raise your family. You have more kids and watch your husband succeed, fighting the bitter jealousy boiling within you. Any romance you once had fizzles. Eventually you find out he’s cheating on you, so you divorce, take half his fortune with you, and move back to the city. To make up for the absence of their father, you spoil your children. You decorate your lavish penthouse with luxurious purchases, buy your children everything they want, and return to your career, quickly making your way to the top. You tell yourself everything happens for a reason, and become content with your new life, even if all you want is someone to share it with.

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STARTING INFO

TRAITS

Party Animal

Dance Machine

Choose another

ASPIRATIONS

Master Actor

SKILLS

Dancing

Singing

Acting

CAREER

Actor

GOALS

See the google doc for this gen's goals.

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EDIT :: All future generations of this challenge will be added to the google doc. I won't be updating this post any further. To see all the current generations make sure to make a copy of the doc (which is updated quite regularly).

☆ ALL GENERATIONS HERE ☆

[all-pacas]

do you have any taub headcanons? i love that weirdo and i can never find any good posts about him besides yours

i don't, which i won't let stop me! here's some taub headcanons i'm making up on the spot:

He likes to sing, and he's not half bad at it. Kind of a showtunes guy. Sings in the shower, or while puttering around the house.

He's a big putterer. The type who likes to do dishes or fold laundry just because the repetitive nature lets him space out and think. He'd probably like gardening if he'd ever tried it. Despite this, he's not a particularly tidy person, or even all that organized.

He did always want kids. It wasn't like a driving thing, he did believe he was fine not having them when Rachel said she didn't, he probably could have lived his whole life not having kids and been fine. But he really loves fatherhood, even if it happened in the messiest way possible.

Although Taub was driven out of his practice, he didn't have to go into a Fellowship, let alone one for a fake field like diagnostics. But it sounded fun. And that actually matters to him. He can't do a job he doesn't care about, he'd rather take a shitty paying job for House than be bored as a GP or something.

After the series, he goes back to plastic surgery, but keeps in contact with Chase partially just to fish for consults. Like come on buddy. Don't you want to tag Taub in sometimes. Wouldn't it be fun. Come on. Come onnnnnn

Taub liked Kutner a lot, but they never really transitioned into out of work friends; they'd grab lunch sometimes but Taub never had Kutner over for dinner, for example. Which absolutely destroyed him after Kutner was gone.

So he made more of an effort with the others going forward. Like Chase thought Taub was being condescending when he invited Chase over for Thanksgiving Post Divorce, but no, Taub meant it, he actually does try to be a proactive friend. He's low key about it. Foreman was easy (Taub isn't at all threatened by or intimidated by his ego). He keeps in touch with 13 in a vague way after she moves on to Greece (he goes to her eventual wedding). He even still sends Christmas and birthday cards to Masters. (She got confused the first time, because isn't he Jewish? So now he sends her Christmas and Hannukah cards.)

Taub is not at all a practicing jew but his judaism is super important to him and he does lowkey want his daughters to go to Hebrew School. Just for cultural reasons. That said, he's probably the type to put up a Christmas tree because it's easier. I'm putting a lot of my dad into him with this one. Taub has dad vibes.

He loves a good argument. In quieter moments, he and House actually probably have a lot of fun going way into the weeds on highly specific philosophical or theological arguments.

He is a fiend for gossip, and tells all of it to his wife. Even after the divorce.

He and Wilson tried to be friends and it didn't quite work. Not because they dislike one another; they have a healthy appreciation for one another. It was just one of those things. They never quite clicked. They look at one another's philandering and self depreciation and inner insanity and go "what a loser." They're just alike enough in the wrong ways that they have nothing to talk about.

Lowkey, he probably had a bit of a thing for Cuddy.

[jakescaravel]

The Caravel (series)

🏴‍☠️ ⚔️ ⚓️

Part 1

Pairing: Jake x reader

Word count: 3,317

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, mentions of kidnapping, pirate life ���️🗡️ (it’s pretty tame for now. Make sure to read the A/N below before jumping in!) 18+ MDNI!!

A/N: Hello all! The Caravel is a slow-burn series about pirate Jake, I don’t want to give away too much here because the summary is already written into the story! One more thing! ⬇️

I have very carefully created a mood playlist for this specific part

If listening to music while you read isn’t your thing that’s totally fine but I do highly recommend it. The songs are kind of in a specific order but it shouldn’t matter too much if you shuffle. Okay it’s finally time…

🏴‍☠️           🏴‍☠️           🏴‍☠️

Exposition

Jacob Thomas Kiszka was a pirate aboard The Caravel. A ship that had once belonged to his father.

Captain Thomas Kiszka was his name. He had met a woman on shore and 9 months later, Jake was born on the very ship. Thomas had insisted his son live the life of a pirate. And his mother, having nothing much to offer him, had no choice but to hand over her precious child to become the next captain of the infamous ship. However Jacob Thomas Kiszka would not be the next captain of The Caravel.

The only two things Jake’s father had left him were his sword fighting skills and a little coin necklace from the great Atocha, a ship with immense treasure that Thomas’s crew had pillaged before he was killed in battle.

The crew aboard The Caravel were the only family Jake had ever known. They had taken him in, taught him how to fight, sail, how to handle his women and his rum. They had taught him how to navigate the seas and how to uphold The Caravels legacy.

It was late summer, the time of year when the seas were the angriest. It had been storming for longer than any of the men on board had ever seen. The crew was well equipped for bitter weather but they had never had to endure it for this long. They were running low on everything but more importantly, they needed a doctor.

The current captain of The Caravel was named James Calico. He was Thomas’s first mate and the one who was to lead the crew of fearless men to find the lost treasure at The Gardens Gate before Jake was of age. Captain Calico had heard of a young woman off the coast of the town they were nearing who was a doctor. All they had to do was collect the needed supplies for their voyage, and then collect the girl too.

🏴‍☠️           🏴‍☠️           🏴‍☠️

Jakes POV

Your mind is fuzzy from the rum you've been drinking all morning but all you have to focus on is your job. Go in, get the liquor and get out. Fast.

You roll your eyes at the thought. They know I can handle more than this, It isn’t fair.

Everyone on board knows who you are. They know who your father was. They respect you and treat you well. They took you in as one of their own and taught you everything you know but they do not give you as much power as the son of Captain Thomas Kiszka deserves.

You had heard parts of the plan from Reed, Captain Calico’s first mate, and a well respected man on board. He had always been the one to tell you more than the captain intended for you to know. You think of him as the closest thing to a real friend.

You know the plan has something to do with kidnapping a doctor but you don’t have time to worry about that. You have your job and you are ready to do it. 

You look down and grab the handle of your sword. You run your hand along the smooth leather (a nervous habit you picked up) keeping it in place and you instantly feel calmer. You’re confident in your ability to fight. I’m ready.

The boat docks and the anchor is lowered. You look to your Captain for instruction and he gives a slight nod. Within seconds, you’re all running off the ship and making your way through the town. You are ready to defend yourself if anyone tries you. However, as usual, no one does. You smile to yourself hearing the familiar shrieks and cries.

“Pirates!”

This is a feeling you’ll never get sick of. The feeling of straight adrenaline coursing through your veins and raw… power. You feel your heart beating out of your chest and you know nothing can hurt you in this moment. You’re invincible. Soon the entire square is clear and you make your way to the pub knocking over boxes and crates in the process.

You don’t have to look around for long. The rows and rows of bottles line the walls and you grab two cases and fill them up, and then one more for good measure.

You make your way back to the square where you see the rest of your crew, taking supplies and one by one returning to the ship. 

You look over and see a man everyone called ‘Brute’ holding a woman by the throat threatening to cut off her head if she didn't give him the rest of the meat at her stand. We don't have time for this. You hear the commanding voice of your captain telling him to let her go. And when he speaks, people listen, that's the rule.

Back on the ship you only take two steps before you hear the anticipated cheering. Time to celebrate. You set down the cases and help pass out the bottles of rum. You feel a small jolt and soon The Caravel is gliding across the water.

When you reach to grab a bottle for yourself, something catches your eye, or rather someone. It's a girl.

Wow.

You’ve heard of sirens in stories but you thought they were make believe. She is unlike anyone you have ever seen. She’s beautiful.

Your eyes travel up and down her body, slowly taking her in. You can't help yourself when you stare at the exposed skin on her stomach through the tear in her dress, or the bit of thigh that was showing. Your eyes meet hers and she quickly looks away.

She’s scared of me. Usually this revelation would please you but it feels like a stab to the chest. You think for a moment. She must be the doctor.

You hadn't expected it to be a girl, let alone someone this beautiful. She looks confused and panicked. Now that you pay closer attention, you see that she's being held roughly by two men, Patrick Lock and Robin Evers. They were good men but they obviously didn’t know how to control themselves in the presence of a lady.

A realization washes over you when you look into her eyes. The storm is gone... strange.

You shake the thought when you see Patrick and Robin wearing identical evil grins that make your hands bawl up into fists. Let go of her. You want to grab your sword and slice through their hands but instead you stay by the liquor cases continuing to study her.

🏴‍☠️           🏴‍☠️           🏴‍☠️

Her POV

Your mind is racing and your heart is pounding. It’s hard to think clearly when your arms are being held so tightly. Do they have to be cutting off my circulation?

Just moments ago you were sitting at home with your sister reading to her and now you were on a pirate ship. One of the ones you had only heard about in the stories your father used to tell you. 

Your eyes flutter closed hoping to wake up from this nightmare. You can smell the ocean. Of course you always could but it was so much stronger now. The cool breeze on your skin is refreshing in contrast to the sun's harsh rays. You let the sound of the water distract you from the dull pain growing in your arms. 

SWOOSH.

One particularly strong wave crashes against the side of the boat causing your eyes to open again.

Crash against wave upon wave.

The realization hits you once more. This isn’t a dream, this is real. Your eyes search the ship frantically. If they let go of my arm maybe I could jump off the side and swim back to shore. You look around once more.

The ship is like most that you’ve seen around the dock. Perhaps a little bigger. You don’t know much about them but you recognize the familiar ropes and watchtower. Your dad is a sailor but you’ve never gotten to see his boat. Now I never will.

There is something else near the tower, it’s a flag. A black flag. An exposition.

There is a symbol of some kind. What does that mean?

Your thoughts are cut off by the dozen men that surround you beginning to close in. You can hear the sound of their boots hitting the wooden deck.

Creeeeeek.

Each of them looks slightly different than the last. Some of them wear hats and carry swords, some of them wear shirts and some of them don’t. But they all look ragged and their eyes share the same slight yellow tint. Scurvy. They all eye you with dangerous expressions and wild eyes. It makes your stomach turn. 

However, there is one man who stays back. He looks younger than the rest of them. He has long brunette hair and entrancing brown eyes. He has on a white button up shirt with only one button done up just above his belly button. Classy.

You can see his tanned chest and his strong arms from where the sleeves are hiked up. He has on a pair of black breeches and a piece of cream colored fabric wrapped tightly around his waist. He wears a brown hat and a small white knit bracelet on his wrist. The mysterious man wears two silver hoops and has a clean shaven face. A small coin necklace hangs loosely around his neck.

You look back up to find his eyes boring into yours. The sword he carries tightly against his body seems to be staring at you too. The sight of the sun reflecting on the pointed silver makes a shiver run up your spine.

Your gaze is broken by someone walking towards you. You know he's the captain by the way the men part leaving a clear path from him to you, some of them bow slightly. 

He walks slowly and carefully, not breaking eye contact. He doesn’t look anything like what you've heard of in the stories. No peg leg, no eye patch. 

He has a long beard and he wears a hat or a tricorne as your dad taught you. When your eyes travel down you see his sword swinging slightly by his side and the wood shifting beneath him with every step. You struggle against the two strong hands holding you causing them to grab you tighter. That’s gonna leave bruises. 

The captain finally reaches you and towers over you. He looks strong and powerful. He lowers himself so that his face is level with yours and you smell the rum on his breath. 

He speaks with a hint of amusement as if he thinks this whole situation is funny. “Hello young lady.” He smiles showing you his singular golden tooth. 

He looks to the men holding you “Patrick, Robin, is this how we treat our guests? We don’t wanna scare the poor girl.” His eyes widen.

“Aye.”

“Aye.”

They let go of you causing you to stumble forward. The men laugh as the captain catches you and lifts you back on your feet. You recoil at his touch. “Come on matey, I'm not gonna hurt cha.”

You think about running but fear plants your feet firmly to the ground. What does he want?

Unable to meet his gaze, you look back to the young man, he’s… smirking? When he sees you look at him, his face drops and he looks back to his captain.

He speaks again “Welcome aboard The Caravel. What’s yer name?”

You can't seem to form words so you stare at him, lip quivering. The captain laughs at you. The rest of his crew laugh too. The young man laughs slightly but trails off when you look at him once more.

You feel yourself getting dizzy. You can hear a small voice in the distance that you recognize as the captains. He’s explaining to you how they needed a doctor for their ship. He tells you you have no choice but to oblige and there’s no point in trying to run away. He points to something but you can’t see what. You’re trying to absorb his words but your thoughts are still clouded. You turn back and see that you’re already far away from shore. You watch as your town grows smaller and smaller until it's a dot to strange horizons. 

The captain yells something that you can’t quite hear and you watch as the men assume their positions. Some of them go straight for the cases of liquor. Some of them climb the many ropes that stretch to the top of the ship, and some of them laugh at a joke being told.

These men are loud and dirty and not very kind. I need to go back home, I need to find my sister.

The captain keeps his eye trained on you, it was almost as if he was saying, ‘try to escape, try to swim away, I dare you.’

In the next hours, no one speaks to you, no one addresses you, they don't even acknowledge you. As The Caravel got farther and farther away from home, your body felt smaller and smaller. Weaker and weaker.

Oh my god, my sister. I can't imagine what she’s thinking right now, I hope she’s safe. My father won’t be home for another week. I hope he’s okay too. There was a storm that seemed to have fizzled out but he must have survived it… he must have. He's strong. Maybe when he returns home and finds out I've been captured he’ll come to save me. Him and his crew.

You look up again, and there is the young man, just across the deck taking sips of his drink. He doesn’t seem to be doing much of anything. His eyes fall to yours then drop back down again. He then looks out into the vastness of the ocean, seeming to be thinking about something important. 

I want to know his name.

Time doesn’t wait for your thoughts to collect and soon the moon replaces the sun. One by one the men go below deck to sleep for the night. The harshness of your reality is starting to set in. I’m only of use to them when someone is injured, other than that am I just a lost thought?

You are left alone on the deck, it's cold and lonely. It reminds you of your first day of school when you didn’t know anyone. That night you had gone home and cried in your fathers arms but this night, your father was miles away, on the same ocean but still, miles away.

The boat rocks gently to the rhythm of the sea. Your body becomes a part of the ship, swaying with the water. You feel the little droplets splash over the side and trickle down your face.

It's almost calming, almost. Maybe if I wasn’t a prisoner. At least I'm not tied up.

The moon is full tonight. Its light illuminates the deck and the water in its path. It’s breathtaking.

After several minutes of staring, you accept your fate and try to find somewhere to sleep. You decide a sandbag will have to make do. You attempt to find a comfortable position which proves to be difficult.

As the boat moves with the water on the salty sea, your salty tears begin to fall. It’s scary how quiet it is, and you miss your home, and your bed. For miles in every direction, there is nothingness.

Just as you close your eyes preparing yourself for an uncomfortable sleep, you hear a noise. It’s footsteps. You look up to find the young man approaching you. He’s holding something. 

Where is his shirt? 

The little coin necklace bounces on his chest when he walks. He ventures closer and kneels beside you.

“Are you cold?”

This is the first time you’ve heard his voice, it’s low and raspy but comforting. He asks his question with caution and genuine concern. You nod.

“Here.” He holds up the shirt and wraps it around you. You can’t help but smile.

He smiles back but doesn’t leave. He pauses for a moment. He looks lost, as if he doesn’t know if he should stay or go. He offers you a small smile and breaks the silence once more. 

“What’s your name?”

You tell him your name and watch his lips curl into a perfect, addicting smile. You feel your cheeks flush. He was… pretty.

“What’s your name?” You ask.

“Jacob Thomas Kiszka, mates call me Jake.” He pretends to curtsey causing you to giggle.

This warms Jake’s heart, He couldn’t bear seeing you so sad earlier. You had looked… horrified.

You allow yourself to admire his face. The way his lips fall into a perfect heart shape, the way his eyes sparkle underneath the moonlight, the way his cheeks move when he smiles.

What he does next surprises you. He goes to sit behind you and asks if he can help you. What? You turn to face him with a confused look on your face. He smiles at you. He brings one of his hands up to your hair and drags it down the length of it exposing the many tangles that you hadn’t even registered.

“Is this okay?”

You wonder how you could possibly say no to him so you let him carefully comb his fingers through your hair.

You close your eyes and let yourself bathe in the feeling of his calloused fingertips gliding across your scalp. His hands move slowly and carefully so as to not hurt you.

You don’t really understand why you’re letting him do this or why he wanted to do it in the first place. Maybe it was the kindness in his eyes or the way his voice sounded when he asked. But you just sit there and let him continue.

Jake starts working on a particularly large knot and starts humming to himself. You smile at this small act of vulnerability and let out a small chuckle. He stops singing and you turn around to be met with his reddened face, flushed with embarrassment.

A few minutes of comfortable silence pass as you look up at the stars.

“Do you do this to your own hair?” You couldn’t help but ask. You had grown curious about life as a pirate and Jake was the only pirate you’d seen on board with long hair.

“Hmm? Oh.. oh yeah I do. It takes a while with all the salt in the air and everything, and you know I just thought…” He trails off.

He looks up at you smiling again and you decide, I can trust him.

He parts your hair and moves half of it to drape gently over your shoulder. You feel his warm breath on the back of your neck sending you goosebumps. Oh.

He finishes brushing through the second section and it’s over far too soon. His hands leave your hair and quickly run down your shoulders making you shiver.

He did that on purpose. 

He stands up and faces you, he’s wearing a similar smile to the one that paints your face. Now much more relaxed than before, you look into his eyes. How can a person's eyes be so comforting? 

You're sad to see him go. Part of you wishes he would stay, and that he could warm you instead of his shirt. You’re wondering if maybe he had the same idea but then he speaks.

“Goodnight then mate.” He winks at you. There’s that butterfly feeling again.

You watch him slowly descend down the stairs below the deck. His hair blows with the wind. I can still feel his hands in my hair.

You rest your head on the sack of sand and eventually your eyes close. That night you fall asleep thinking of your sister but smiling at the new friend you’ve made.

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Part 2

(if you want to be added to the tag list interact with this post)

[piratefishmama]

Crossing the line | Part 8

“What do I wear, what do I wear, ROBIN WHAT DO I WEAR?! Do I wear this? Or—or this? He said he—”

“Steven Marlon Harrington if you do not put that sweater vest down this INSTANT I will burn it. I’ll open the window—”

“You can’t open the window it doesn’t open this high up, and that’s not my middle name.”

“I will BREAK open the window and set that highly flammable offense to the eyes on fire then throw it out of said window. Put it down.”

“But he said he liked the idea of the sweater vest! He got all ‘oh nooo’ when I said I wasn’t going to wear it!”

“You keep your kinky shit out of my first metal gig experience, Steven, you keep it far away from my metal gig experience.”

“You didn’t even want to GO! How is it KINKY?”

It was Tuesday, specifically 7:49pm Tuesday evening.

After their magical first meeting in that coffee shop, Steve had promised, hand on heart, that he wouldn’t go back to the coffee shop before the gig. Something that Steve had balked at because he wanted an authentic coffee shop au experience dammit. But Eddie had put his foot down, claimed it’d be unfair.

Eddie wanted him to experience the gig, he wanted him to experience it, experience who Eddie actually was outside of the apron and the indie coffee shop aesthetics because they often softened a lot of the rough edges in people, he wanted this beautiful human with… an admittedly really nice voice shut up, to experience the real him, and then ask him out.

He didn’t get to spend days putting on the charm, making Eddie feel all whirly, only to rip it away at the gig when he realised he didn’t actually like the real Eddie Munson.

Steve didn’t think that was entirely necessary since he’d gotten a verbal beat down for an entire week from the guy, but he’d wasted zero time in purchasing those tickets anyway. Maybe he was pathetically down bad for a little wet cat, Steve would own it.

Eddie was an incredibly attractive little wet cat, he wore the wet cat look well.

“Cause he wants to see you in it, it’s gotta be a weird kink thing. Do not bring that energy to my metal gig. I will vomit.”

“What were you actually going to do if I scored with this guy and left us with a twin room at the Conrad? What would you have done?”

“Cried myself to sleep in the bathtub wearing earplugs. Maybe I’d have had a dish of chocolate covered strawberries in there with me, I dunno.”

“You’re so weird.” The words said with such fondness that she couldn’t help but turn her head toward her brother from another mother, her Sistah from another mistah, her twin separated at birth, and grin at him, all teeth and scrunched nose.

They were getting ready in the same room, no awkwardness, no weird vibes, they’d accidentally showered together before, shared a bubble bath in Steve’s ridiculous jet tub back at his apartment, their level of platonic soulmate was so far unmatched.

“You love me.” He did. He really really did. “Okay, okay, put that down. Maybe you can save the sweater vest for like… a date or something. Maybe the dinner you wanted to take him out on. Let’s see what we have here” She rounded the bed in naught but a cut off band tee crop top and a pair of fishnets over her underwear, having been doing her makeup before donning the ripped black pair of shorts she’d thrifted because there didn’t have to be a right order to do things in. “Right… this is a metal gig, and from what we know of Corroded Coffin, it’s not like… glam metal, we don’t need anything flashy, shit’s thrash metal, so like… ripped denim, belt chains, leather jackets, band Tees, guys don’t have to dress up for this shit. Pretty sure your wet rat will be wearing a dumb band tee and ripped jeans. The only thing you have to worry about, is overheating.”

“Overheating?” Gosh he was so unprepared, how was she more prepared for this? Hyper fixation maybe.

“Yeah, why do you think I’m wearing shorts, you’ll be sweating bullets in there, it’s a dive bar, Steve it’s not The Garden. It’s not open air, it’s dingy, the floor will be sticky, the alcohol will be trash, and there’ll be a mosh pit, it’s not going to be pretty. Have you got your plugs?”

Steve lifted a tiny metal tube up and wiggled it in his hand “Gottem”

“Good, make sure you put those in before the music starts, they’ll filter some of the harsher sounds, keep your migraines at bay.” Concussions did damage, and he’d had a few. Not just The Hemsworth Incident™️, he’d partied hard as a teen, lost a few fights, okay, he’d lost most fights.

Brain damage was a real issue with concussions apparently!

Migraines happened, he had little earplugs that didn’t block all noise, just filtered it a little to reduce the impact on his eardrums so he could still enjoy things. Sometimes they helped, sometimes they didn't, it wasnt perfect.

“Okay so… what should I wear? I can’t just wear the plugs, Robin, I know I’m trying to like… pull, but naked celebrity in a dive bar sounds a bit dangerous.”

“Alright smartass, those jeans, that band tee, skip the jacket, you’ll just wind up dying from heatstroke. Actually, gimmie that shirt.” Robin snagged the tee out of Steve’s hands as he held it up she took it over to the dresser where she’d left a little sewing kit she’d also picked up during their thrift shopping, grabbed the scissors and went to town on the damn thing. “You’re gonna sweat, so— accept that he’s gonna see you all gross and sweaty.”

“Nghhhh but—" He wanted to be flawless dammit! Turn on his charm. He couldn’t do that while sweaty and gross!!

“It’s fine, he’ll be all gross and sweaty too. Maybe he’ll even like the gross sweaty look, who knows, he seems like a weird ‘I like sweaty, hairy men’ kinda guy.”

“I thought you said he seemed like a 'moms’ basement dwelling virgin' kind of guy.”

“He’s a weird, wet scraggly cat with layers. He also seems like a ‘clap if you believe’ kind of guy too, but I can’t judge him on that cause—” and she clapped, he let out a brief snort of a laugh. “Okay, here” she threw the remnants of the shirt at him, now transformed into a sleeveless muscle tee, the sides cut to shit to reveal the expanse of mole-dotted golden tanned skin and soft muscle of his sides, the graphic on the front looking like a red hand holding a mallet of some kind, the name of the band too faded to make out. “Wear that, the ripped jeans, and those combat boots.”

“…Just this?”

“Yes, I’ll finish it off with some kohl after I’m done, okay?” Steve raised a single brow at her, but he didn’t argue. He’d long since given up arguing with Robin about how eyeliner made his eyes ‘pop’, it… actually did, so he’d accept it. So when she finally finished dressing and accessorising herself, she completed his look for him too, mussing his hair a little in a way that only she was allowed to do, a little smudged eyeliner, a brush of mascara, and he was good to go.

“Well?” Steve asked, standing straight for Robin’s assessing gaze.

She smiled, like a shark sensing blood in the water, she was pleased with her work. “Oh Stevie Stevie Stevie, trust me, he’s not gonna know what hit him.”

God he hoped she was right.

Part 10

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

@kimberleyjean ok, you asked for this, its cursed and I'm sorry.

So first off I'm NOT going to try to explain what Supernatural is. Its a garbage fire, and I am unfortunate enough to be one of the feral, touch-starved gays to live in said garbage fire. Its the best show ever but all of its accidental, its the worst show ever in terms of anything that was done on purpose, etc etc. You're on tumblr you know the drill

Anyway, before GOs2's "Final Fifteen", the ONLY connections between GO and SPN were:

A demon in spn is named Crowley, in an homage to GO Crowley. They are alike, but they are NOT the same character and I don't think it can be argued that they're the same person in different forms (bc with demons that would be possible). They are however both Scottish, greasy and have a deep disrespect for authority. I do HAVE a theory/hc connecting the two Crowleys but that's another post for another day. Weirdly, SPN!Crowley (who I'm going to call Fergus from here on out, bc even though nobody in spn or the fandom calls him that, it is his canonical first name) has very little to do with anything I'm about to say. Just fyi, he exists.

Secondly, The Hillywood show did a Supernatural parody back in 2014-ish. I will link it below if you're curious, but again not much in this video is ACTUALLY RELEVANT to what I'm about to say (however, Fergus is there. He's the Scottish guy)

However, the specific arcs of Supernatural that SURROUND the season/topic this parody is centered on (Mark of Cain arc, ~s9-10) are where the coincidences get weird, and ok now I do have to talk about Supernatural a bit.

mmmfffff. Okay so the Metatron is a greasy, annoying, manipulative, power-hungry bastard who lies every time he speaks, wants full rule over Heaven and will control anyone and wreck anything he can to get there....

...and I'm talking about the version of the Metatron from Supernatural. LONG tldr, Dean (buzz cut, older brother, guy who's in love with an angel, the guy who says the news headlines in the Destiel meme) takes this thing/curse/whole other mess called the "Mark of Cain" to kill this kinda super-powerful arch-demon called Abaddon (more on her later), and blah blah blah Supernatural Happens For A Bit, and due to the Mark's curse making Dean act like a total psycho (and also, its implied, slowly turning him into a demon) they try to get help from the Metatron, who had been locked up after... well.

-when God was no longer contacting heaven, Metatron ran away from Heaven and hid on earth because he thought that the angels would use the Word of God (which the Metatron holds) "wrong" or something

-later, took advantage of strife & power vacuums in Heaven to manipulate Cas (angel, deeply autistic, the guy who says "I love you" in the destiel meme, in love with Dean) into doing a spell that CAUSED ALL OF THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN TO FALL, for no reason other than the Metatron is an actual pissbaby.

anyway, Metatron claims he can help Dean, that was a lie (shocking, I know), Metatron pulls some bs including basically stealing Cas' life-force (a second time. the first time was when he was ALREADY fucking w Cas as mentioned above) and runs off back to heaven... along with Gadreel, who he has manipulated/convinced to help him take power in Heaven.

who's Gadreel?

well. he's the angel who let the Serpent (or in this canon, just Lucifer) into the Garden of Eden, and he was cast into Hell to be tortured forever or something as punishment. However, after Metatron's earlier all-the-angels-falling scheme, Gadreel (for reasons I'm not too sure of tbh) took the name/identity of a VERY highly-regarded and powerful angel named Ezekiel, who died of his injuries during the fall

^this last part is a detail I try hard not to think about. this is because the names and roles are JUST similar enough to GO's Ineffable Husbands for the implications make me very, very sad.

Anyway, Gadreel had been around spn canon before, posing as Ezekiel, possessing Sam blah blah blah shit happened

Anyway this is a whole lot of words to say that the season/s of SPN that The Hillywood Show was parodying were the seasons where the Metatron was a main villain, and attempted/temporarily succeeded in taking power in Heaven BY MANIPULATING THE GUY WHO LET THE DEVIL INTO THE GARDEN OF EDEN

and then The Hillywood Show (who tbh I almost feel bad for lmao like BRUH) got signed to produce the parody/teaser/release date announcement for GOs2. Where the Metatron...

yeah.

yeahhhhhh

I would have LOVED to see the Hillywood Show team's live and immediate reaction to the Final Fifteen because I can't even imagine what must have been going through their heads.

ah yes. the FUCKING Metatron

oh also in spn, the Metatron (its complicated but basically)severely/fatally wounds Cas, and straight-up KILLS Dean, but Dean resurrects as a demon (for a few eps at least), meaning that Metatron DID technically try, and almost succeeded in, killing both members of an angel/demon gay couple, if only bc timing lined up so that Metatron was an antagonist in the arcs where Dean was turning into a demon.

so yeah

anyway I mentioned we'd get back to Abaddon so here's those major spoilers I mentioned. I'm fairly sure these are real spoilers and not theories, since my source is wikipedia

that's the whole article, there's not much else on her on wiki (though I should really do more research on Muriel). I think I heard Neil say somewhere that he created Muriel because "he wanted an angel character, from Heaven, who was 'just nice'" but idk if anything specific has ever been said about her name.

anyway that's why the Metatron gave Muriel that book "The Crow Road" in the Final 15, why he likes her so much, and why he's having her stay on earth

"The Crow Road" is a book about the nature of Death, and Metatron is, for lack of a better/less problematic word, grooming Muriel for the role of angel of Death in the apocalypse (Abaddon being a VERY prominent figure in revelations, for those who weren't aware)

...so on top of all the other Supernatural/Hillywood-Specific coincidences, sure, let's have Abaddon too.

uhhhhh

yeah

[watchtheblog]

Cutting Slack

hello to the hierarchy of my besties: irl besties, internet besties, fantasy besties; the hierarchy of my haters: just the three of you, followed by someone who goes by the alias k.s on google reviews; an ever dwindling number of exes who can read, a handful of people i’m just getting to know who are about to know me too well too fast, and anyone else who has stumbled upon this highly specific page on the internet!!

if you’ve been here before, you know the deal. i’m going to weave a web of little jokes into a somewhat coherent story and then as a reward for knowing me you get the opportunity to see 20 things i hope to receive for my birthday, which, i hope you know… is tomorrow (26 september); i’m turning 94.

The joke web:

In february 2023 after the company I co-created sold to one of the corniest companies on the planet, I quit because they wanted me to set forth eight hours a day I would be available to do work. Seven years into a job I’d put 8 hours a year into, this was a startling task.

Also, they wanted me to become a member of slack, or get on slack, or write to them in slack. Or do something, whatever one does, on slack. You can do a lot of things to me, but what you’re not gonna do is make me go on slack. Many have tried in the past and not a one has ever succeeded.

Not to sound like Mark Cuban - or myself in [redacted] years -  but an 8 hour workday was not for me. And I explained this. I told a woman alleging to be my supervisor that every morning I woke up, I did cult for 20 minutes, wrote in my journal for 45 minutes, went for a 1 hour walk, came home, showered, drank a little poison, read for one hour in my garden, did some dilly dallying on the internet, and then I went to an appointment*, and by the time I was done with all of that it was already 4pm and that’s wind down time in my culture. 

Where did she want me to find 8 hours?!

(*i realize appointment time is not a thing (everyone can understand) but I’m gonna have to save it for another post. appointment time is sacred in a directionless little bug’s life and it deserves to be explained properly.)

If you think I’m joking that I laid out this schedule to a woman who was born inside a human resources complaint folder and whose dearly departed soul resides within a ludicrously capacious bag somewhere, I beg you to get to know me better.

Fundamentally, she did not understand and spiritually I was not the messenger to enlighten her, so I decided to quit.

I am impulsive by nature but this decision was incredibly thought out. I wrote down a list of pros and cons and I titled the cons list “things I’m not aligned with” and I listed 11 things.

“I dont want to be managed!!!!!!” (this is a literal copy and paste) topped the chart.

To follow? “Corporate weirdness”, and, simply: “Slack”.

On the pros list I wrote: “Freedom”, “I will finally be free”. (LOL!) Underneath it, it says “Take a fucking risk.”

I sat with these lists for approximately three minutes, and then I wrote an email announcing my resignation. And then I quite literally never spoke to anyone there ever again.

This all leads me to one short pivot before we’ll arrive at our final destination of my birthday list. 

When I mentioned earlier that I am impulsive by nature, I mean that I quit my job because someone said there was a question posed to me in Slack and I needed to answer it came to Ohio to visit my dad’s (RIP) childhood home and my (then) girlfriend convinced me to call the number on a commercial real estate building and within 45 days I’d signed a lease and 90 days later I had packed, driven, and moved my entire life across the country. 

When I moved here, I knew no one so I did a lot of things you may think only people who are on reality dating shows do, like: go to an espresso martini making class, cook marshmallows over an open fire in a state park at night with strangers, slide down a snowy hill on a plastic saucer as an activity, or attend a local rat’s birthday party.*

*disclaimer for anyone here who doesn’t GET me bc I’m scared to be misunderstood: i loved all of these things I’m not mocking them; I’m simply holding a light to the absurdity of my *on the spectrum, agoraphobic weirdo* ass doing these things in earnest because i needed to not kms. ◡̈  kms stands for k*ll myself.*

(Of course all of these things on a reality dating show would involve two people, whereas in my case I did all of those things alone.)

As a treat for my efforts to be a member of society, the universe provided me with the unique gift of meeting the anthropomorphic version of my intrusive thoughts!! 

We’ll call her Gloria (for no reason) and in our first phone conversation she had called everyone in the state of ohio “fat, lazy and bipolar” and told me my business would fail.

One minute after we hung up, she texted asking if I wanted to sauna with her right now. Now mind you, I’ve been doing shit “for the lore” since before it was called “lore” and men were just telling me I was insane (simpler times!!) so I grabbed a bikini and drove 9 minutes ready to go in a sauna with a random lady I’d never met.

And go in a sauna with a random lady I did... fully clothed for a reason that both confused and relieved me. In that sauna, Gloria repeated the aforementioned phone topics and added a pointed “nobody wants to work out; you will fail” while staring at me in a box heated to 130 degrees.

“It’s okay. Everything is always working out for me” I told her as she persisted in her negativity, because I lacked the ability to just tell her to shut the fuck up (and also because that is true). 

I considered the possibility of her behavior coming from a good intentioned place, like when cars driving the opposite direction flash their lights to let you know they just passed a cop (as if that ever hits). I considered it was an act of humanity, one unstable woman to another; trying to save me from the hell she thought was inevitable given her own - self proclaimed - “failure”. (she had opened and closed a studio of her own.)

So I let her keep flashing her dumb lights at me, showing up to my studio uninvited in the middle of my buildout telling me I should see if my landlord would let me out of my lease, texting me little foreboding horror stories about the perils of being in the fitness industry, sending me local businesses that were closing as if to say “i told you so; i’m warning you.”

“You’ll see” she said multiple times, as if to predict my ultimate demise in a way I’d be able to reflect on in the future, remembering she’d warned me. 

In those moments and in the months of desperation and grind leading up to the opening of my business I had no other choice but to move forward blindly, confidently. Long before I met this psychopath I had prepared for the possibility of failure. Unlike this woman, however, that preparation involved the potential of having to say “I failed… now what?” rather than “I failed. I’m the rule, not the exception. The journey is impossible.”

It’s been almost two years since I left the career I thought would define me, and while I certainly haven’t failed, I’m not writing this from the other side. I’m writing this from the beginning of a long journey I’m prepared and excited to be on that began the day I decided to take a fucking risk.

Two years ago I couldn’t find 8 hours a day to work and now somehow I’ve found 14-18…

and not a single one of them has been spent on slack. 

The Gift Portion!!!  the intangible: for the dismantling of nextdoor dot com, for all my bad memories to be erased, to win the war against seed oils, for the ai to stop(!!!), that the person who sullied my google reviews finds God and healing bc going against me is a form of psychosis, for great deals on this upcoming amazon prime day, that natalia grace is ok, that i never hear a telephone ring again, for watermelon to be in season all the time, that nobody is ever mad at me, that all eggs would turn to donuts in a way that would not have negative implications for chickens or negative repercussions for farmers, that everyone bounces back from whatever inevitable side effects ozempic will have, that my frequently used emoji are all safe and sound after getting rearranged, and for everyone I know and love to read the source by dr tara swart, and that they are all happy, healthy, successful, and in love forever.

the ones you can buy: these shoes (size 38)  or these shoes (size 38) also these (and you guessed it! 38) i want to fix my brain here, a casual five day immersive neurofeedback experience this watch this large suitcase or this one i cant pick this gorgeana kind of urgently, this these shoes (great deal alert!!!!) (size 38) i think the trajectory of my life would change if i owed four of these and maybe some other things to go with it big year for shoes … huge a stunning linen spray this practical thing her this or something else from her(e) these, white, small also kind of urgently, these this definitely the max mara teddy coat in the absolute smallest size and this is the last time I’m gonna put it here!!!!!! ykto!!! (lol!!)

[plantmommoonbaby]

Some Cannabis and Overenthusiasm-fuelled Fan Theories about Worlds Beyond Number (Part 2)

Theory #2: Is Eioghorain Rasper?

Look, this one is so thin. But it really leads back to my overarching theory that Eioghorain isn't actually as bad as we think actually, this theory of mine is very emotional and very deep, so I shall keep it to myself until I have a relisten specifically geared toward proving this, or if he is, it's not in the way we think. In reality, it probably stems solely from me thinking over and over again about the GIFT that is the fact that Eioghorain looks like Toshiro Mifune. But we know literally 2 things about Rasper (as recallled from memory so please correct me if I'm mistaken):

1) his origins are very mysterious but his name is likely a name cloak

2) he is an older east asian man with graying hair at his temples and a lithe, athletic build

This literally just occured to me today while listening to the Fireside Chat when Brennan made an effort to remark that Eioghorain would be older now. Aabria and Erika were (rightly) distracted by Mifune still being smoking hot at any age, but I can't help but wonder...

Theory #3: Indri and Mirara are working together to kill Hakea

Ok... ride with me, please. I've already talked about this before, but I have to say it again because... i just believe it so much. We know that The King of Night wants to eliminate Ame so that the Coven can make moves against the Citadel. But... what if his infiltration of Hakea's retinue is actually a ploy from Indri to incriminate Hakea in the death of Gramore's lover??? Gramore and Hakea came into this house the closest bond. And Hakea is the one witch currently in the coven with an undeniable authority over Indri. If there can only be 3 witches, it seems like the very best chance Indri has in convincing Gramore is by turning her against Hakea so that it is Ame and Hakea on the chopping block.

Theory #4: Indri is eliminating the Coven of Elders one by one

Look... there's not a ton of data to back me up on this one besides Brennan admitting that Indri is him living his best Regina George Life. Here's what I do have

• Indri's predecessor was not about isolation and self like Indri is

• Indri killed her predecessor

• Indri is so threatened by other witches that she "gets rid of" any apprentice she has that starts learning magic

• Oh, and the Mysterious Garden of Highly Specifically Posed Ice Sculptures, including one who is very much Not Like the Others

• Indri looked exactly the same as she does now when she met Morning Wrensong... meaning she was likely equally as powerful

• Grandma Wren would've been the third witch eliminated from the Coven if Ame's curse worked

And... lbr, that's all I need to know this woman is threatened by other powerful women and is Very Likely Up to No Good...

Theory #5: Halumon might be our best bet at fixing the Coven of Elders

Remember how Halumon melted the ground of the courtyard? Also, remember the ice sculpture that was Not Like the Others? I feel like the only way we really put an end to Indri's determined elimination of her own Coven will be getting the pretty pony back to melt Ice Mommy and have her reclaim her position as the Witch of Wind and Stars. This is less of a theory and more of a hope, ngl...

Anywho, again, if you actually made it here, thanks for reading and please tell me how you feel about any of these. Also, if toy are anything like me, you have cottonmouth rn, so don't forget to hydrate.

[cuprohastes]

What is this Hu-man thing you call Gen-Dar?

The Station administrators pulled Dave the Human in for a little meeting.

"On a scale of one to immediately calling my Union Rep, how much have you found out about?" Asked Dave, a man who who could be described as exceedingly unproblematic.

The human admin, Eoin O'Patel perked up. "We have a Union?" He asked with interest. "Who's the rep?"

"It's Un-Named Male. I didn't tell him yet."

"Oh..." said O'Patel, disappointed. "No, no. Well I mean, you're not in trouble, we just want you to cause some."

Dave shot a look at the Atrix Administrator, Don't Make Me Come Down There. Ma for short.

Ma gave Dave a thumbs up. Well OK.

"Sooo...?" Said Dave sitting up, because things were about to be Interesting.

Dave The Human, Garf and Un-Named Male were in the Caf, examining the stack of "Unions and how to Start One" leaflets that had been delivered to Un-Named Male when Dave sauntered in, in brand new overalls: Specifically Atrix overalls, tailored to size, including one of the armbands that are usually covered in badges.

Garf looked bemused and flickered several colours and patterns.

Un-named male said "Graaaaak..."

Dave The Human didn't say anything because she was stuffing her face.

"No it's not cultural appropriation actually. As of today, by special permission of O'Patel and Ma, I am officially an Atrix." Dave said and posed. "Just for a week. I'm moving into that spare room on the Atrix deck. Ma reckons it'll make keeping the moss alive easier."

"Seems a bit extra for some moss gardening." Dave The Human said, licking her claws.

"Oh no. It just turned out to be handy. See, the Station is getting a visit from a certain bunch of pointy heads from a nation that dare not breathe it's name in polite society and we merry three... four, sorry Un-Named, are getting to play with them."

"Oooh!" Said Dave The Human. "This gon' be good."

Interview 1

The first interview performed by Pinkerton Finke put him in a sour mood. He was a congressionally appointed official, on an important fact finding tour - Facts that supported the narrow world view of his employers, naturally - And he felt he was due some respect.

He said as much to his assistant, Loris. Good girl, very competent, possibly worth keeping on when her looks started to go, he thought.

Loris looked over that the other seat across the desk, upon which was sitting a large scaled individual. They had two long arms with three claws, and two smaller arms tucked up into a front pocket, a ludicrously long neck and shiny black button eyes just in front of a pair of soft ears - Possibly the only thing soft bout them. They appeared to have a set of scales that moved in unsettling ways and were painted in tacky colours.

"Is that... Nail polish?"

The creature noddes. "Pinking of you." It said. Loris wrote that down and Finke seethed at the irrelevance.

"You are... a... a Tuh-sin?" He said clearly and slowly.

The creature stared back dumbly then said "No? I'm human."

Finke looked down at his notes. The first interviewee was listed as Dave. Obviously Loris had added 'The human' for him. Idiot girl. Of course someone called Dave was human.

"I think you're in the wrong room. I'm waiting for someone called David."

"Nah mate. It's Dave, innit? Dave The Human. 'S me."

Finke felt his blood pressure going up. "No I'm supposed to interview one of the technical staff, from the human contingent posted here on matters of..."

The creature held up a hand. "Yer. 'S me. Dave The Human. 'Cos I'm officially human like, and I'm class three for some of the really twiddly bits of the life support. Real twiddly. So what's the craic?"

Loris slid her tablet over showing that for some deranged reason, the creature was indeed listed as Dave The Human and on the payroll as officially human.

"Jesus ffff... OK. I'm inquiring as to the attitudes to gender conformity on this place. It has come to the attention of some very highly placed people that attitudes are somewhat lacking in moral fibre. So tell me... David, if you understand the proper, moral stance on gender."

"Oh wot? Pff. Easy mate. Marriage is one Big Guy, Two small guys, two small women and a Big Lass to yell at them all to wash their claws. Don't worry, if you ain't got enough small women, just get extra small guys, they'll switch over after a few months."

Finke slowly went red in the face, and for some reason this prompted the Dave creature to pull out a small fruit and put it carefully on the desk. "Here y'go. OK, got stuff to do. Nice meetin' ya." He said and ambled out.

Interview 2

"Ok next up is an Atrix. Phalanges Mitten." Said Loris.

A human walked in, dressed as an Atrix and sat down.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Is this a joke?" Finke said.

"Nope, said Phalanges Mitten, definitely an Atrix who looked a lot like Dave the Human. "Tell you what, want to speak to the community leader for the Atrix population?"

Finke thought about it. "Very well." He said and Phalanges yelled, "GARF YOU'RE UP!" Without getting up.

A two meter tall purple dinosaur shouldered her way in and leaned back on her short tail. "Hey Phalanges. Having... an issue?"

Finke stared up. Christ they're a lot bigger than he'd assumed.

"Yeah, Fink here says i'm not Atrix enough." He said and Garf tutted. "Well Station Admin checked with the homeworld and I'm empowered to act as ambassador pro-tem, and I can tell you Phalanges has the support of the Atrix." She said smoothly.

Finke could feel a headache coming on. "Very well... I'm inquiring as to the attitudes to gender conformity on this place. It has come to the attention of some very highly placed people that attitudes are somewhat lacking in moral fibre. So tell me... Phalanges, if you understand the proper, moral stance on gender."

Phalanges sniffed. "Oh sure. There's only the one. Size."

Finke stared. Phalanges stared back. Garf ate a sandwich. Loris made a strangled sound that Finke couldn't hear over the sound of his blood pressure rising.

"Are you..." he started and Phalanges talked over him.

"Simple. You start out small and you do the best you can and then you get bigger and you do the best for others, and in between if you feel like fertilising an egg when you're small or producing one when you're bigger, well that's nobody's business, but there's somethings that are easier when you have more body mass."

Finke went with his first reaction. "Bullshit."

And so Garf flipped up the flap on her coveralls stuffed both hands in and hauled a purple iguana in a hawaiian shirt out and dumped him on the desk.

Finke shrieked and the lizard said "Grak!"

"What the hell?" He asked. "If this is your pet..."

Phalanges inhaled sharply. "Ooh. I wouldn't..."

"...Kid?"

"That's my husband." Said Garf in tones that made the room's heating elements click in.

"He's an adult." Said Phalanges.

The iguana, made a modulated grackling noise, and Phalanges said "He said, 'That makes four of us'. Ooh, burn."

Finke glared at the lizard who stared back and changed colour. He wondered how much trouble there would be if he swatted it.

"The thing is, Fink, we know who you are, what you represent, and you've showed up on a station where most of the humans aren't from your nation, and over half of everyone isn't even from Earth. None of us are planning on subscribing to your views, or supporting them. And if you had the wit of it, you'd never have come. But here you are, on the station, with little to no actual authority, nosing around and trying to recruit..."

Finke felt a cold flush.

"... And so you get to go back and climb under your rock. Loris? Your contract came through. "

"What?" Gasped Finke. "Contract? See here, she's my..."

Loris slapped him on the back of the head with a tablet, saying "That was always your problem. You thought I was yours." Then she dropped the tablet on the desk and walked out.

Finke looked down at it in shock where the words "I Quit" were scrawled across it, already planning what he was going to do to tht snip of a... and... Oh crap. He slapped a hand over the table and flipped it over before anyone saw what else was on it, just in time for the iguana to hand him a subpoena with a smug "Grak".

"You've been served mate." Said Phalanges. "Your ass backward views are the least of your worries. You really should have been nicer to the woman who handles your dirty secrets."

"Why Dave?" Asked Ma.

O'Patel looked at the service record for Dave, which showed the name Dave being added to the record about three months after Dave's arrival. He didn't look further. No need to look at deadnames.

"Oh you know. No ties to that country. No blowback if things get nasty." He said. "I hope there was no trouble form Homeworld?"

"Mm. No. Central rather enjoyed the idea I think. As for Phalanges, he... officially She I suppose... has been fine, though we'd like him out of the Atrix section before the lighting cooks his eyes. It's a lot higher UV and I know that's harder for Human eyes to deal with. But between you and I and Garf's recomendation, if Dave ever defects, we might go as far as finding him a little guy."

O'Patel chuckled indulgently. "If he ever feels like he needs to defect, I'll help him pack." He said. "Talking of which I hear the new PA is doing quite well." He added shooting a look toward where Loris was flirting with the big female everyone called Dave.

----

Ok that's it. I actually have three drafts of this that didn't pan out.

If you liked it, comment, because I love getting comments!

[altraviolet]

hello violet,

i really love your writing, and want to express my admiration over the fact that you completed a story as huge as the echo garden, and executed it so well.

i am an artist and a writer, and i find it difficult to see my ideas to completion. i wanted to request any input on time management for creative work, or planning for writing specifically in your week.

thank you for your consideration! hope you have a lovely week.

cheers

hello anon!

thanks very much! I'm glad you enjoy my writing :)

ooooh... yeah, I have a lot of trouble sitting down and getting myself to WORK on stuff, so I don't feel super qualified to assist, but I can try

I actually see 2 different issues here you've mentioned

not seeing items to completion

time management

I see those as 2 different things because it's very very hard to finish things, and that's usually for reasons other than time management (at least, in my experience)

re #1: I've observed more than one pro writer say that you MUST finish works in order to grow. it's usually in top 5 lists for tips on how to become a better writer (I know you said you're an artist, too, I'll just use "writer" to keep this post less wordy). and I would agree: it's important to have the discipline to see it through so you know what it's like to finish a work. but also you get that Hooray! sense of accomplishment at the end. plus, you can't really evaluate a wip work: you can only judge it once it's all done. and then go back and fix it, knowing the whole picture

yes, time management can be part of that, but I think it more often comes to disinterest. people start projects, are excited, then they get past the honeymoon period of creation and reach the hard part of the creative relationship: the work it takes to get from the beginning to the end. the project isn't pure fun anymore, so they move on to the next one, leaving that one unfinished. but just like most things worth doing, it does take work. and that means you'll have to work on it when you don't want to. I'm not saying that's the case for you, but it's a common issue with the inability to complete projects

but, let's say you do have the inner drive to finish things, you just don't have the time

#2: time is highly variable between people, and it's going to have to come down to you taking a look at your schedule and your energy levels and your projects - and your obligations - and identifying where you can either squeeze little bits of time for projects, or sacrifice other events for projects. literally write out your schedule and see where the empty spaces are. those are where you will write.

if you're working several jobs and/or going to college, or have a very scattered schedule, you'll have to eke out the time when you can. the 30 minutes between class, the lunch break, the (if you are not driving, but are taking public transport) commutes, etc. I think this is a very difficult way to do things, but a lot of people do this. they REALLY REALLY want to write their books, or accomplish XYZ, and they make the time between obligations

subset to the above: if you can consolidate your schedule, or not go out with friends, or cancel plans, and take a very serious approach to your creations, you can put it in the schedule, and now it's a part of the whirlwind you have to do

it's the sad truth that the easiest things to cancel are social outings, and many creatives are loners/alone, perhaps by choice, but perhaps not. if your only really nice, juicy chunk of free time is Friday night, and you like to go out with friends, you may have to very seriously ask yourself: do I want to do this project more than I want to go out? and it may be the case that the project will not get done unless you make some sacrifices

if you do have a lot of free time, and it's rather an issue of discipline - sitting down and doing the work - I'm afraid you need to find ways to eliminate distractions. you need to work on things when you don't want to. I actually fall into this category more than the "whirlwind life" category (as long as family isn't in town). I work, come home, die in front of youtube for a while, go to bed, wake up, work, etc etc. but my whole afternoon and my weekends are largely free.

and I am very bad at taking advantage of them, because I use a lot of that time to recover from work

sooooo I feel kinda like if I tell you to do a bunch of stuff I don't, it's a bit hypocritical 😄 so, with that in mind...

one of the main things that got me through TEG was this very strange anxiety I got if I hadn't posted in a while. it'd usually build up over the week, until a sat/sunday when I had enough brain power to write, and then I'd post chapters sunday night. I was motivated by the anxious sense of "I need to get this done, I need to work on this, I need to work on this, I NEED TO WORK ON THIS."

probably not too helpful, but it is the truth xD

a couple of things that have helped me get started in the past year:

writing sprints. having a buddy that you write with for a set period of time holds you accountable. it's always easier with a buddy! often if you can just get started, you can keep going

changing the medium. by this I mean, 99% of the time I write at my computer. but last year I got a bunch of different colored pens and hand wrote in a notebook and it was super fun and I thought of a lot of things for a fic

how is that time management? these are "economical" things to do with your free time which may help prompt productivity. economical in the sense that they directly capitulate you into writing

this post is kind of scattered, sorry. work really kills my brain, lol

uhhhhh ok let's try another approach. here are some actionable things you can do:

write out your schedule. highlight all the times when you are free. pick at least 4 of them per week and dedicate them to your creative works

find a friend or buddy or amicable stranger and make them your writing buddy. do sprints together, or just write at the same time. make "writing dates" or something like that- the idea is that if someone else is working with you on it, you're not alone and you've got to show up for them, and they'll show up for you

you may find breaking your creation down into steps helps. then you can match these steps up to chunks of free time. "okay Tuesday I have 45 minutes free between Job 1 and Job 2. I'll work on chapter 4 dialogue at that time." in this instance you're leaning on structure to guide you through the day

bizarre side note: sometimes?? spite or jealousy?? can motivate you to do things. if you can work yourself up into a "I'm gonna DO THIS!!!" mentality, no one's gonna know which emotion got you there xD

🤔

I think that's all the advice I have at the moment. I don't know what your schedule is, so I'm not sure what I can directly advise. I hope something in the above helped! best of luck on your creative endeavors. pick something small and finish it. then do it again, and again, and again 💪 have a good week!

ps wait I thought of another thing. do indeed start with smaller projects. I worked my way up to TEG. I knew it would require a LOT of time and attention and words to pull off. I didn't attempt it until I had already written a bunch of short stories and then a 150,000 word long fic. I felt that, at that time, I was as ready as I'd ever be. so like... find a balance between "feeling READY to do it" and "starting too soon." if you're struggling to finish a project of X length, try putting it aside and doing a 1/2 X length project. build up some small finishing victories. don't start with the big thing if you can't finish the little things 💪

[malleablemusic]

in the spirit of remaining genuine and honest in this article, i will be fully transparent and say i have heard the titular song of this album and am obsessed and in love with it, but i've never cared to listen to the rest because i no longer have a good relationship with the boy who introduced me to neutral milk hotel. because of our falling out i now have (perhaps misguided) negative notions of the people i picture to be fans of neutral milk hotel. i am now braving a listen through of this album due to my passion for using this blog to expand my mind/break down barriers of preconceived notions i have, but also because my boyfriend's best friend highly praised it, and he is a good man :) anyways, heres my review of in the aeroplane over the sea by neutral milk hotel:

king of carrot flowers pt. 1: 4.2/5 stars

the second it started with "when you were young" i knew i would be emotional

the imagination of childhood... and how it naturally disappears for us all as we grow up..but specifically this song insinuating it happening because of the domestic/family abuse the "king of carrot flowers" experienced...ouch

love how tender is sounds. how he sings is so raw and makes the awful story he's telling sound sweet

king of carrot flowers pt. 2: 3.9/5 stars

oh. where did jesus christ come from

"mouths open wide and spilling snow/ i will spit until i learn how to speak" and "i will shout until they know what i mean" perfectly encapsulates the feeling of not being able to communicate your anger

in the aeroplane over the sea: 5/5 stars

when i first heard this song, i sobbed and wasnt sure why. after hearing it a thousand times since, i know why the song feels so tragic. i heard it when i was 19 and in my freshman year of college. i think that was truly when i understood how important of a time my teens to early twenties were, and felt afraid that it was slipping away or i would blink and miss it.

"but for now we are young/ let us lay in the sun/ and count every beautiful thing we can see" i vowed to remain curious and appreciative of my youth. never discount the small joys in life !

"cant believe how strange it is to be anything at all" i wish i could scream this off a rooftop

two-headed boy: 4.4/5 stars

was immediately reminded of the two-headed calf poem, and my chest caved in

i am really in love with the way he shout sings, and especially how they do not seem to fix the clipping that happens when he does

i like the way he pronounces the "k" sounds so sharply

the fool: 4.2/5 stars

obsessed with the imperial sounding trumpets, feels like a king is marching in but instead im picturing a jester walking down towards the throne

feels like it belongs to the soundtrack of a movie

holland, 1945: 3.8/5 stars

i kind of wish i didnt google the song title first, because it made me more confused.

i do love how the song paints the picture of an profound story

communist daughter: 2/5 stars

did he. did he just say what i think he did. i had to pause and collect myself. "semen stains the mountaintop" HUHhhh?

no i wont lie i dont know what the song is about and tbh i dont care to?

oh comely: 3.2/5 stars

i would love to know what this man' sounds like when h's speaking voice sounds like. i wonder if he always rounds out his syllabus soo much (if so, love that) and also where his accent originates from

just as i was typing that i felt there wasnt enough modulation and i was bored, he did that high noooote (or his attempt at one) and i kind of love that it sounded so hard for him and his voice barely went up in register HAH. sounds like its really coming from the depths of his soul

ok. no actually what is this man's obsession with mentioning semen. "smelling of semen all under the garden" dude what actually is your problem that is a CRAZY line

ghost: 3.3/5 stars

i like the drums that come in at "and she was born in a bottle-rocket in 1929" and how its a delayed drum entrance

doesnt sound different enough from the rest of the songs it followed to be specially noted in any way tbh

[untitled]: 4.5/5 stars

i genuinely love pipes (apparently this song uses a uillean pipe) and think modern music needs to utilize its fantastic sound more, loving this so much

two-headed boy pt.2: 4/5

i really enjoy the two part songs, the narrative this album weaves is very well thought out

i love the motifs of the album and how he finds different ways to tie back to them (especially the flowers in her eyes)

i really enjoyed the album overall, and will definitely be taking the time soon to delve deeper into the album's lore. i;m glad i went in blind and without any preconcieved notions of the narrative, and look forward to learning more about the tale (or ideas/opinions of what it could be about!). im glad i gave the album a try, and would rate it overall 3.8/5 stars

[moonchild-in-blue]

darya can you give me some soft song suggestions?? 👀

Boy, can I??

Okay, SO! This is a bit of a mix of genres/vibes I suppose, to give it a bit of variety. Also it's highly biased list since these are quite literally some of my all time favourites ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (blue for my mostest beloveds!)

(cut here because i don't wanna spam people's dash. It's so longggg omgiapologiseoop-)

Indie / Pop vibes (aka more on the mainstream artists spectrum):

Cigarettes After Sex - Sweet ; K

Billie Eilish - i love you ; everything i wanted

Rex Orange County - Untitled ; Happiness

Bon Iver - Flume ; Holocene ; Wash (he's one of my top 3 artists of all time omg i love him so much everything he does is perfect 💙 also a certain someone has cited him as an influence... :::) )

Ry X - Sweat ; Only

Cuco - Hydrocodone ; Amor de Siempre (my beloved chicano 💙 - lofi pop vibes)

Joji - Glimpse of Us ; Ew ; Like You Do (i would give up my kidneys for him)

Frank Ocean - Pink + White (maybe not super singing-friendly but I had to include him) ; Bad Religion (not exactly soft per-se but it's beautifully heartbreaking)

Bright Eyes - Lime Tree ; Lua

Jake Bugg - Love, Hope and Misery

Owl City - Vanilla Twilight

Rock / Metal / Alt vibes (i'm leaving a million bands out because otherwise this would just be my depression list... I listen to a lot of sad/angsty stuff lol)

All Time Low - Therapy ; Somewhere in Neverland (there's an acoustic version of it!)

Being As An Ocean - Dissolve

Bring Me The Horizon - Deathbeads ; Follow You

Crown The Empire - Millennia ; Lead Me Out Of The Dark ; For Days

Dayshell - A Waste Of Space

Linkin Park - Iridescent ; The Messenger (just typing this already broke my heart)

Of Mice & Men - Space Enough To Grow

Our Last Night - Falling Away

Panic! At The Disco - Northern Downpour ; She Had The World ; The End Of All Things (i am a panic girlie what can i say)

Parachute - Kiss Me Slowly (the cutest love song ever omg)

Plain White Ts - 1, 2, 3, 4 ; Hey There Delilah (sure it's mainstream but whatever it's beautiful)

Pierce The Veil - I'm Low On Gas (...) ; She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty

Queen - Love Of My Life (this one is a must ugh the cutesttt)

Real Friends - I've Given Up On You (my heartbreak song lmaoo) ; Sixteen

Red - Nothing and Everything ; Of These Chains (these are sad and emotionally heavy btw. one of my all time favourite bands everyone should listen to them more)

Seahaven - Honey Bee ; Silhouette

Sleeping With Sirens - Don't Fall Asleep At The Helm ; 2 Chord

Eepie Voucher - Drag Me Under ; Telomeres ; Give ; Shelter (i know it's unnecessary but!!! Oh well)

The Story So Far - Navy Blue ; Phantom

Twenty One Pilots - The Hype (specifically the Locations - Berlin version) ; Truce

Vinyl Theatre - Thank You For The Good Times ; Speak My Mind (it has soft vibes, you'll get it if you listen. They are crazy good and criminally underrated)

Random Songs that I just remembered lmao:

The Beatles - Yesterday

Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (SWS covered it and I love that version so so much)

Joe Brooks - Superman

Iron & Wine - Flightless Bird, American Mouth

Elliott Smith - Between The Bars

Terrenoire - Jusqu'à Mon Dernier Souffle (my fav frenchies)

Over The Garden Wall - Send Me A Peach (i sing this song at least once a day 🥺)

Kermit The Frog - Rainbow Connection (lmao i knowwww but this is one of my all time favourite songs hahaha it makes me so happy and soft and yeah 🥺🌈)

Baby I'm so sorry for the never ending list. I literally just scrolled through my music player curating songs. And I know I'm forgetting a million other songs but OH WELL 🥺💙💚

[eldritchsurveys]

1191.

Questions about random places A themed survey by Guia from scyphozoan

WHERE YOU LIVE: 1) What are the best and worst things about your neighborhood? >> The best thing is that there are multiple stores within walking distance, and the bus stops are plentiful. There are also at least 2 parks within walking distance, and a lot of people have gardens and sometimes fun lawn/porch decor. The worst thing is that it's an urban neighbourhood and therefore subject to urban noise levels.

2) If someone gave you an extra $5,000 for your house and only your house, how would you spend it? >> This confuses me for several reasons. I don't own this house, "extra" in addition to what, where am I going to live...

3) If someone outside of your town or city visits you for the first time, where would you take them out to? >> I think that would depend on what they're interested in, what they want to see and do. I would be a poor host if I just subjected them to stuff I like.

4) If you had to order a quick takeaway for dinner, where would you go to? >> Uhh... I don't know, really. I think that'd depend on how much money I have and what I was in the mood for. Takeaway isn't at all a frequent thing for me, I don't have a ready answer.

5) What’s a random fact about where you live? >> I don't know any random facts, I don't think. I must admit to not being terribly interested in this city.

THE LAST HOUSE YOU VISITED THAT WAS NOT YOUR OWN: 6) Whose house was it? >> Sparrow's parents' house.

7) Why did you visit and how long did you stay? >> It was Easter. About 4 hours.

8) What do you think about this person’s house? >> I have spent way more time inside it than I would ever want to. I don't have any real opinion about it as a location, I just am quite weary of it being a fixture in my life.

9) If you can take or copy something from their house, what would it be? >> I don't want a single thing from that house.

10) What about their house would make it difficult for you to live there if you had to? >> I did live there, and what really made it difficult was the fact that it wasn't a space I had any control in, and I had to live with people I don't even like. Also, the bedroom I occupied was in the basement and I'm not really the basement-dwelling type, I need sunlight in my room and shit.

THE LAST RESTAURANT YOU ATE AT: 11) What is the name of the restaurant, and what kind of cuisine do they serve? >> Uhhhh... was it King Pot? I think King Pot was the last restaurant I was at. They serve hot pot and Korean BBQ.

12) How did you first find out about this restaurant, and what triggered you to try it? >> I don't remember how I found out about it, and I tried it because I love Korean food and fortunately Sparrow's family agreed to take us there for Sparrow's birthday.

13) What did you order and how would you rate it? >> I can't possibly remember all the specific things I ordered, such is the nature of hot pot. I rate it pretty highly, it was delicious.

14) What do you like best about this place? What about it could be improved? >> I don't have any notes. It was just good.

15) Would you go back? If so, what would you order the next time you do? If not, where or what would have been a better option than going there? >> Sure, I'd go again.

THE LAST PLACE YOU VISITED THAT WAS MORE THAN 45 MINUTES AWAY FROM YOUR HOME: 16) Where did you go and what did you do there? >> Hmm... really testing the limits of my memory here. Uh... oh, it might have been Lansing. Went to Lansing on Christmas because Sparrow's family's Christmas dinner was being held at their sister's house.

17) How did you get to this place? How comfortable was the trip? >> Sparrow drove us. The trip was fine, it was like an hour and a half or something.

18) What about this area do you wish exists in or applies to where you live? >> They do have the superior Horrock's over there. Also they have this banger pizza place that I can't remember the name of but I think about constantly.

19) Do you know anyone who lives in this area? >> Yeah, the people we went to visit.

20) If you had to live in this area, what kind of housing arrangement would you choose? >> I don't want to live in Lansing. If I had to live anywhere in Michigan, I'd choose Detroit. Otherwise, send me south. Or west. Hell, east. Anywhere but north, I guess, lmao.

[folansstuff]

General Atticus HC's

Had the urge to write more OC headcanons, so here they are some more!

Is currently in his late 20’s-early 30’s. Despite being dead for 5 years and his revival being thanks to semi-supernatural forces, the Garden still aged him to keep him in-line with what it thought was right.

Sleepy Bisexual. Probably drinks as much coffee as Illyana does.

Still has traces of his old Australian accent. Still slips ‘mates’ and ‘oi’s into conversation sometimes. Comes out in full swing when he’s upset.

Majored in English Literature and Teaching! Will leap into long speeches about Shakespeare at the drop of a hat. 

Put on some weight during his time away from the X-Men. Chose not to get rid of it, even after being revived on Krakoa. ((This is definitely not because Illyana likes it, no sir.))

Sees the original New Mutants as his family, would defend any of them with his life.

Team Dad when Sam is away. He and Dani spend a lot of time wrangling the students and planning for the school with the others. He usually leaves her to deal with the council unless they request him specifically. ((Or he gets to see Kitty and Piotr, whichever is more likely))

Die-hard Dazzler fanboy, Alison once dropped into his and Illyana’s home and found him at the door wearing a “I <3 Dazzler” shirt, she never let him hear the end of it ((she was flattered though)).

A perpetual project-starter. Would start and drop a new, weird thing every few weeks. Some are successful (the sweaters he made his teammates, learning to bake) some aren’t (boxing, 

Briefly took a job at Avengers Academy as one of their “normal staff” and a mutant liaison (hilarious considering his history with the X-Men). Took the job despite his dislike of The Avengers because they offered him a ton of money.

Because of this he and Laura are surprisingly good friends, he was the first choice for a teacher for Gabby once he was revived and Akedeimos was more concretely established as a school.

Highly protective of his students, all of them, even the ones who aren’t his students anymore. Had to be convinced to not attack Arcade after he found out about Avengers Arena and almost started a fight with Bishop when he pitched his War Academy.

Frequently uses his powers for mundane things; spinning hand fans, hand drying clothes, rewinding tapes, etc. Will spin the earth around just to skip traffic. 

After being revived he can see errors and other signs of reality having been warped or changed in some way in the form of spirals appearing over the top of the affected object. Causes him serious headaches. 

Idolizes Captain America. Has considered using a shield as a weapon for its effectiveness and to emulate the man. Was very bummed out when Rogers acts like a “boot-licker” and worked against mutant-kind after AvX. 

Dude is just trying his best to live a peaceful and quiet life with his family, and all the superhero drama keeps getting in the way : (