#because for so long we had to mask our differences for safety

[abrthephantomq]

Alex is High & Live Streaming - Chapter 2

October 9th, Monday

4:40 pm (Alex)

Decided to get high today. 

Know it wasn’t necessarily the thing that like, S & Co would like all that much. After all, they did a wake and bake today.

But they didn’t ask us not to. We gave them plenty of time to say something about whether they thought it was a good idea for us to do or not – or if they just wanted to be high, alone.

It’s not like they can’t just…. Do their own thing while we get high at the same time. 

Parallel play. Literally. But also parallel working. We both have mental health stuff to do. I ended up cleaning a good chunk of the bathroom again, as well as took out the trash, and changed my sheets – including pillow cases… I haven’t thrown the clothes in the washer yet (I don’t trust my balance on those stairs), but I have it and Bob’s laundry basket like, prepared to go downstairs. 

If I don’t get it downstairs today, that’s alright. He did his laundry yesterday. I can just let him add his laundry from tonight in there and I’ll run it tomorrow. 

The key to life work balance is to just… do what you want, man. You get paid in some way shape or form. Companies rewarding you for watching ads, surveys, writing in google docs and knowing that your work is likely to be stolen by Al but you know what

Let my ideas get out there to the world. 

I give Al permission to steal as much from my shit as much as they like – as long as the universe pays me back for their theft.

One of my favorite things is to spite-read fanfic. Y’know, the premise is fucking amazing. Say, um. Hm. Which fanfic is a good example of this that we’ve read earlier? 

(Cas answering - $ is his designator for plural kit in our private discord server that we occasionally use to hash things out when the collective memory fails us orrrrr we need to argue something out, or brainstorm things, or….) 

$The only one I can think of was that one Captive Prince fic. The one where I think Damen was.. A submissive? I can’t really remember the details of it but I remember you and Steven both being absolutely disappointed in the execution. 

Oh no, there’s another one that like – there’s that one Wrightwortth fic too that’s like, 400k words long and every single time I want to read something really, really fucking long, I always try to read it, and then have to stop a chapter in because Edgeworth would never. 

*You know what story that like, in hindsight, could’ve been so much better if the writer was A: better at fucking writing, B: not a racist, transphobic, sexist piece of shit? 

(I wonder who that might be, Steven…

*Write Harry Potter in the style of the Simon Snow series. Cas plays Simon, Mitchel* plays Baz, Ebb is played by Heather…. Or Alicia, I’m not sure which one would be best for that. 

Like a Harry Potter AU for the Simon Snow series. Because magic and disability and mental health and everything are allllll parts of it, along with classism and all this other stuff…. 

**Andrew, not Mitchel. 

?Steven it actually kinda sounds like you want to write a Simon Snow AU as opposed to an HP one. 

*Listen – (realizes that’s a dead give away that he [Cas] is actually filling in Steven’s dialogue for him)

?HIlarious that you think you can fool me, Casper. 

$Al never uses our full names. 

?, when it should actually be designator ( (for Andrew).... Alex isn’t the one who uses full names for emphasis? Or when they’re playing around? 

?Correction, I don’t use full names for emphasis. Steven actually legitimately prefers if we call him by his full name, so I use that. But Cas wants to be called Cas or Ken or Jazz or whatever the fuck you wanna call him in any story, as long as he’s a trans man with blond hair and blue eyes. And you, yourself, don’t much like it when anyone other than Cas calls you “And.” 

?Oh, and Steven and Cas both use full names for emphasis – but Cas uses full name and middle name, usually. 

Alicia: Arm – me – Leg – Steven – AND – Andrew? Has it ALWAYS been three of us writing together? 

?Well, we have Alex (Alex) Xander (Cas) Briar (Steven) Rose (Andrew) now – four writers, because Cas is as much a writer as the rest of us, even if he doesn’t even fucking realize it. 

$.....how the fuck am I also a writer? I’m at most the Idea Guy. 

*Yeah, your speciality is traumatic backstory (sarcasm) 

$I understood that was supposed to be sarcastic, yes. 

*....wait, I just realized that it was Cas who called me out for needing to do Shadow Work then and not you, Alex. 

?Ding ding ding ding ding!! :high fives Cas: I owe you ten bucks but I love it when you’re right about shit like this

*Fuck, wait – wait, was it Andrew? 

(:slow clapping: Well done. Of course it was me. Like you’d listen if Alex or Cas directly told you to do shadow work. You had to overhear a conversation I had with myself for you.

(You should confess your feelings for a specific someone. Let him know that you still love him and care about him/them. 

*They… legitimately know how I feel, though? Like, I’ve fucking spoken about my feelings for W and even S and D… 

$....they’ve been so focused on me and my bullshit that I don’t think any of them processed that. You may need to tell them again. Like how I had to ask D point blank what his feelings were. I couldn’t move on if I had any hope whatsoever we could maybe get back together. 

$It’s not supposed to be me and him who do, tho.

$It’s supposed to be you, Steven. 

*....but I’m the most fucked up out of all of us. 

(So is D, for their System. And one of the things that we’re bent on showing them – all of them – especially D and S – is the fact that you can be really really fucked up and people will still love and forgive you, as long as you actually show some sign that you’re willing to do better and are legitimately learning to do better. Redemption arcs of all kinds still count. 

*I’m legitimately not a good person, though? I’ve – I’ve pressured some of you into various… situations – both in the headspace and out of it. Sometimes including nudging you into those kinds of situations with other actual people just because I thought it’d be hot. 

Alicia: I did that too, you know. I just didn’t always write everything out in detail like you did. Not usually anyway. 

(Steven, you damn well know which of the many sins I myself am guilty of, in terms of things that work for me in writing, but not in real life… 

?You know Dr. A wasn’t wrong when he said that everyone is problematic. There’s no such thing as perfection, just human beings who are trying to heal and do better for themselves and their kids and those they consider family. The road to hell is paved with the best intentions or whatever that fucking saying is, I’m digging for something that has meaning to you that doesn’t to me 🙃

(The road to hell is paved with good intentions, C – Alex… 

?lmao the fact that we all know it’s fucking Cas when he messes up the fucking word because he doesn’t process speech well at alllll since he hears EVERYTHING.

$I literally don’t hear everything, that’s Steven. I just know to translate into Steven so he understands what I’m trying to say even if I can’t remember what was said, exactly 

?Yeah but you can’t translate to Steven when you’re filling in dialogue for me, dude. You only do that for him because he’s dyslexic af and cato – 

(Catagory… no 

$lollll I love you all, it’s spelled category. With an “e.” Cah - teh - gory. 

?I’m just going to paste this meme here, no context, because I’m fucking funny and it’s a part of Steven, Cas, and Andrew’s shadow work, and then I think we’re done for the evening since it’s almost 7pm and we’ve been at this roughly two hours now….

?And these two hours were extra. We did not need to do this, too. We posted a tiktok and did a bunch of telling the backyard the things that we want for everyone we love (including ourselves) while we were high and trying to connect a bit with spirit. We already did the writing for today. For at least an hour. I think we talked the poor yard’s ear off for like 2 hours actually. 

?So without further adieu, the meme:

 - Alex

[smallestapplin]

Unhinged idea but the reverse harem autobot series has activated every single neuron in my brain

Imagine if the human was in a harem with the decepticons instead and the autobots want to save them, fearing you were being forced into the decepticon’s love (and totally denying the fact that seeing you naked on camera got their spikes painfully hard)

Giving you free reign other than that because my brain is full of the idea and empty as well AUDJSKDJDJDHF

Keep up the good work man, love your transformer fics !! :3 /pos

-Fae (if that isn’t already taken ofc)

I so need to write more of these

Warnings : GN!Reader, cybertronian language is used as it's mainly from their POV, exhibitionism, noncon voyeurism, noncon recording

Minors do NOT interact! 18+ only

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You were spotted by pure accident, in fact it was truly a miricale in the first place anyone outside of the decepticons had seen you, but it was Jazz who raised the alarm that the cons had kidnapped a human that left the autobots fuel lines freezing up.

Out on a casual drive Jazz had spotted Knockout not too far away, the con in a line up ready to street race it seemed, but something was different.

And that something was the cute human sitting in the driver's seat. He managed to radio Prowl, swiftly telling him the situation, but by the time the cop bot arrived you and the con were gone. Which left them arguing the whole way back to base.

informing the others was a whole different matter.

"Why didn't you stop him!?" Ironhide shouts, followed by Prowl agreeing with him.

So much yelling and for what?

"Alright that's enough! Jazz, you did the right thing, you could have put the human's life in danger interfering alone."

"But, Prime-"

"No, Ironhide, we need to save that human frm their clutches, but we can't do that if they are harmed or killed in the crossfires or because Megatron doesn't want to let his 'prize' go."

Ironhide growls under his breathe, angry that Prime is right, even if it means someone innocent is in the decepticons grasp. Your safety is their biggest concern, who knows what the cons are putting you through or even doing to you! Them rushing in head frsit will just put you, and subsequently them, in more danger.

They need to get on that ship and survey the area and situation, then they can go about the safest way of getting you out of there with little damage. Maybe thats how Mirage ended up on the Nemsis, invisible to the decepticons that he was careful to walk around as to not alert them.

He has a live feed right to base, so they can see everything he sees while he looks around, sneaking into room after room, peering in and looking for the little human. After the fifth room he forgets it and walks down the hallway, being sure to move out of the way for any con on patrol.

"This is pointless, if we storm them and take them by surprise we'd get that human out for sure!"

Optimus shakes his head, "Not nessecarily, if we do then one of the cons could grab the human a flee."

Bee huffs, though its a mask to hide the worry he feels watching the footage of Mirage walking through the hallways of the enemies ship, listening to their conversations of Knockout and Breakdown

"Seems lord Megatron isn't too happy."

"Yeah, I wonder whos fault that is."

"Our sweetspark wanted out to walk around, how is that my fault!?"

Our?

Sweetspark?

Optimus doesn't take his optics off the screen, even as the whispers and worried words fill the air behind him.

"Did they take a human for themselves?"

"Oh primus, they are using them as a stress toy! That poor person is probably being tortured!" Bumblebee screeches.

Prowl and Ironhide glare at the screen, muttering under theirs breathes, wanting to beat those decepticons helms in.

Ratchet keeps his optics on the screen, scowl on his face, though he can't lie about the worry eating at his spark. Are you okay? He doesn't know enough about human's fragile bodies, so could he ensure you lived long enough to get to a medic who knew what they were doing?

The room quickly falls silent as a sound grows louder and louder. Heads turn back to the screen, watching as Mirage follows quickly behind shockwave, thankfully still undetected, but the sight that greets them leaves their intakes dropped open.

Megatron, with a servo around you, thrusting his spike as deep as he could make it go.

You're sobbing, overloading, begging for him to slow down.

"Aren't you being a bit rough with them? Surely, humans are too squishy for such treatment." Shockwave spoke, merely walking towards where he left his data pad, as if this was completely normal.

"They like it. Isn't that right, pet?" Megatron grinds his spike into you, smirking as you cry out.

"Yes! Yes! M'sorry I should've asked-fuck! Megatron, please...!" You throw your head back, sobbing as it appears you've overloaded again.

Megatron vents, but his smirk never falters.

"So cute like this, taking my spike like you were meant to."

"I told you humans needed more enrichment, they would not have left with Knockout had you given them things to do while we are all busy."

Megatron's face plate twists into a scowl "Silence, Shockwave, as leader they are my Conjunx Endura first, the rest of the ship is just their...consorts."

Mirage is frozen in his spot, unable to look away from you taking such a massive spike in your little valve, and the other autobots are much the same.

So this is how they are using you? But what Megatron said, they couldn't possibly courted a human, they hate humans! Unless its...no, they'd never go that far, would they?

Hot Rod glances around the room, hoping to not be the only one finding the scene before them hot, but he can't read them.

Maybe it's just him, but seeing your soft body mold to the shape of the spike fragging you so good gets his engines purring.

He shouldn't, this is wrong on so many levels and a complete invasion of privacy. But to see your valve overflowing with transfluid like this, it gets him going.

You whimper, your optics look glazed over as you barely manage to look up at Megatron, who can't help but coo at you.

"Have you learned your lesson, dear?"

You fall limp once more in his hold, though you nearly cry once he pulls you off his spike, letting the transfluid pumped into you drop out.

"I did...I'll ask you next time, I promise."

Megatron chuckles, tenderly rubbing his thumb across your cheek, looking at you in such a loving way.

"Good. Now, I have things to attend to, but since you need so much attention, I'm sure Soundwave wouldn't mind keep you occupied."

The blue mech stands up straighter, moving away from his work station and swiftly goes right passed an unamused Shockwave.

Your gaze meets his red visor, which seems to glow. His servos shaking slightly as he takes you from Megatron, uncaring for his leader and Shockwave to make their exit, leaving him with you.

Mirage, despite his illusion feels as though he's exposed, perhaps now is his chance to leave-

Soundwave doesn't get long with you before Starscream barges in, loudly demanding his Conjunx Endura though Soundwave is not amused.

Just when he was getting his alone time too.

Optimus can't take this anymore, comming Mirage to get out of there now.

"Skyfire, go to the Nemesis and get Mirage."

The large mech jumps at his name being called, his face plate bright blue as he squeaks out a 'ok' and rushes out.

Ironhide is beyond appalled, how could those cons do that to you!? But...oh, oh Primus he wants to hold you down and let you take his spike.

The shared thought among the autobots was 'does their valve feel that good the decepticons are willing to share them?'

But oh they want to find out.

Their spikes are pressing against their modest plating, watching such a moment like that was too much for them-

"W-wait I'm-ohhh...fuck!" You squeal, body shaking from your used hole being filled again.

The room is filled with the sound of all their heads snapping to the screen, Mirage didn't seem to have moved, unable to look away or even turn the camera off.

Faintly they can hear Starscream arguing with Soundwave (though it's one sided) as Soundwave gently works his spike into your used valve.

"How dare you, it should be my turn to use their valve!"

"They were given to me, so silence." Soundwave doesn't entertain more of Starscream, focusing on you and pleasuring you.

The doors open once more, giving Mirage time to slide out unnoticed, but just enough to see Breakdown, Thundercracker, Skywarp, and the constructions following suit before the doors close.

Just how many spikes were you taking?

Just how many times a day?

"I uh, I need to go drive- Right, patrol!" Hot Rod and Bee jump up, rushing out of the room in seperate directions.

"Prime?"

Prowl looks to his leader as the larger bot holds his helm in his servos.

Optimus can't face him, he can't face anyone! Why did he like that so much? He should be ashamed, disgusted, but oh Primus above you were quite the addicting sight.

He needs you.

Frag, he shouldn't be thinking like that.

"Optimus, what is our game plan."

Jazz's stern voice cuts through his thoughts.

"I won't be easy, but we need to tread carefully."

Surely it shouldn't be too hard to obtain you, right? It's for your safety after all.

[milf-murdock]

Hi!! I love love love your writing! Especially your 141!Reader series <3 I don't know if you take requests, but your last post about Simon and baby Joseph made me so angsty and I would love to read more angst from you. Could you please write about Simon thinking 141!Reader was KIA on a mission? Thank you!!!

Anon....who....who hurt you???? I’m kidding 😆 mostly 👀 But for real, this one HURT. Like. OUCH. This man has been through so fucking much…but let’s put him through a bit more 😈😈😈 also, I did very much hurt my own feelings with this one. So I’m thinking we might need a part two reunion because I don’t know if I can leave our Ghosty boy in shambles like this

Drip. Drip. Drip. 

The rain patters against the window in a steady rhythm.

Simon watches the fat raindrops roll down the small window pane, one foot anxiously tapping against the concrete floor. He didn’t know why he was called to Price’s office, but there was an ominous charge to the air. Call it a premonition, or maybe an instinct, but he knew in his bones that something was wrong. 

The click of the door handle pulls Simon from his thoughts as Price enters the office, a heavy silence filling the air. 

“What’s happened?�� Simon's voice has a hard edge to it, cutting straight through the bullshit. Watchful eyes appraise every detail of Price’s body language, and Simon notes the deep sunken look of his captain’s eyes accentuated by a somber expression. 

Price avoids Simon's gaze, staring down at the oak desktop before him as he takes a seat. The captain wasn’t one to mince words or beat around the bush, but even he was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the situation despite his many years in the service.  

Simon's heart hammers in his chest, every second in the unknown feeling like an eternity. This isn’t right, he thinks to himself. 

Price steels himself with a deep inhale, pulling his gaze from the desk to face Simon head on, looking past the mask, speaking to the man he knew laid beneath. 

“I wanted you to hear this from me, son. You…deserve to hear this from me.” 

Simon stops breathing. 

With practiced determination, Price continues his speech, having rehearsed the words in his head the entire walk down to his office. 

“Reconnaissance mission, Operation Blackout, suffered multiple casualties after a long-range detonation by enemy action. There’s been no contact with the team, and rescue attempts were unsuccessful due to the extensive damage caused by the explosion. All team members are presumed KIA. The official course of action…”

The rest of Price’s speech is drowned out by the dull roar in Simon’s ears; his blood runs cold, his rigid body barely breathing. 

This can’t be happening. Not again. Never again. 

Simon's thoughts grip him by the heart, squeezing painfully. 

I can’t do this again.

He had already lost everyone once. Had built impenetrable walls, designed to protect him from this type of pain. 

But you. You and your goddamn charm, and your soft smiles, and your relentless fucking attitude. You broke down those walls brick by brick, made Ghost–no, made Simon– feel more like a man than he had in years. You slipped past his ironclad defenses and took his heart without him even realizing it. 

And just when he had finally opened up, just when he had finally convinced himself that maybe he could be happy–that you could be happy together. It all came crashing down. 

In the distance, Ghost could hear shouting. A chorus of denials piercing the air, heavy ragged breaths filling the silence between. 

A heavy hand fell on Ghost's shoulder and he found himself back in his body, looking up at Price, voice raw. 

With a stark realization, Ghost realizes it was him. He was the one shouting, the one gasping for breath. 

The world tilted out from under him. 

____________ 

Ghost left Price’s office a different man–a mere shell of the man who entered. With every step he took, he felt himself slipping further and further into the familiar safety of Ghost, an unpierceable facade moving through the world. 

Everything felt wrong. Every step. Every breath. He felt like he was moving underwater, every action taking twice the effort it should. 

The next few hours pass in a blur. The official order that he was being sent on leave. The ensuing argument with Price over the orders. He eventually just gave up. Leave, no leave, it didn’t fucking matter. 

None of it fucking matters. 

Johnny tries to see him before he leaves, meeting Simon on the tarmac. He tries to be there for his lieutenant, his friend. 

The red rim around Johnny’s eyes reminds Simon that he wasn’t the only one who had lost you. They had all lost you. But even that which should have been a comfort, a sort of kinship in the grief, meant nothing. Simon didn’t give a singular fuck. He turned away from Johnny mid-speech, leaving the Scotsman to sit in his grief alone as he watched Ghost disappear into the aircraft. 

____________ 

It takes every ounce of strength Ghost has to make it through the flight. To make it through the drive back home. To make it through that door. 

Keep it together, soldier. Don’t you dare fucking lose it, Simon Riley. Just a bit longer. 

His belongings crash to the floor as the door slams shut behind him. He doesn’t even bother turning on the light, instead using the faint glow of the moonlight through the curtains to guide him to the cabinet. 

Ghost pulls the bottle of bourbon from its resting spot, not even bothering with a glass as he pulls off the corked top and takes a hearty swig. 

The burn of the liquid is invigorating, filling Ghost with a quiet simmering fire. 

He takes another drink. And another. 

He walks through the flat in a daze, the amber liquid dulling his senses, sending him even deeper into the haze of his grief. 

Ghost finds himself in front of his dresser, staring at the wooden drawers. 

Taking another drink, he steels himself as he yanks open the top drawer. Rummaging beneath the pile of socks and t-shirts, Ghost digs out the small velvet box. He grips it tight in his hand, the small object groaning in protest as waves of rage and pain overtake Ghost, threatening to pull him under. Hot tears slide down his face, but he doesn’t even notice. 

With a roar he throws the velvet box across the room, the impact fracturing the drywall. Ghost’s knees go out from under him and he crashes to the floor, his heart shattering into a thousand pieces. There would be no repairing this. No amount of time could heal this type of heartbreak. 

You were dead. 

And as far as Ghost was concerned, Simon Riley died with you. 

[covid-safer-hotties]

I’m aware the current CDC recommendations for isolation seem to be woefully inadequate, but im embarrassed to say… I don’t know why? Like, what evidence supports a quarantine period of 14 days, vs something else?

I’m studying up on viral shedding to try to see how long people remain contagious, but you are way more familiar with this material than me.

Viral shedding for covid is highly variable: People can be completely asymptomatic, presymptomatic, and varying levels and types of symptomatic. Asymptomatic people tend to shed less, but they're less likely to take precautions because of that, and they account for nearly half of total covid spread. Presymptomatic people add another 15-20% of spread, because they shed more as the infection grows into something symptomatic. The record for presymptomatic covid is about 8 days, but the average onset of symptoms tends to be 2 or 3 days after infection (and this varies from strain to strain). There's been some study into all of the kinds of spread, but not enough. What we do know is each variant has a different virulence: Some are easier and harder to spread in any type of case. The best we can say is that people are infectious on average 2 or 3 days before symptom onset and somewhere in the ballpark of 8 or 9 days after they feel them, and plenty of people have no clue they've been infected. It's why we need public masking, especially in critical areas like public transit and grocery/pharmacy/etc as well as test to exit policies for quarantine instead of a set number of days. Some people pass an infection very quickly, while in some extreme cases, others have been contagious for weeks or even months. It was either in Baltimore or Pittsburgh where wastewater technitians found a cryptic strain that one person was shedding from an active long-term infection for over a year. I think the person finally passed the infection earlier this year.

I guess what I'm saying is early on, two weeks was seen as enough time to quarantine a sick person to ensure they wouldn't spread the infection to others, but even that isn't enough in some cases. The policy we need is free testing so people can exit a quarantine after they've had a (or a couple) negative tests (Depending on the type of test) to assure they are no longer going to spread the virus to others. We also need a social safety net to care for these people while they stay out of contact with others, but our government would never do that. We can't even feed kids without charging them.

[starfall-spirit]

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Summary: An irksome trip to the Summer Court on matters of business and assistance against a threat at sea takes an interesting turn when Rhys discovers the solution to Nostrus' problem no longer lies with his army, but a female sacrifice, bound at high tide in hope of appeasing the beast terrorizing Nostrus' shores. He certainly never predicted the rescue mission would result in an accepted mating bond.

AN: Merry Christmas! Here’s chapter 2 of my @acotargiftexchange fic for @eat0crow 🎄🎄🎄

Chapter II: New Beginnings

Feyre

Feyre had always considered herself clever enough. Not the most brilliant around, but smart enough to piece together when she was facing royalty. She was going to blame the chaos of her capture for her slow processing. Rhys was Rhysand, heir-apparent to the Night Court throne. Someone she was meant to stay far far away from if the stories she'd heard over the years were anything to go by. Yet if she ignored them all for a moment, it was easy enough to dismiss them as nothing more than rumors to frighten children.

From the very second they returned to his modest home in Velaris, a shining and busy city she'd somehow never heard of, he had been nothing but gentle with her. Overbearing one might even say, fussing over the smallest injuries inflicted when she had been caught by Nostrus' second-in-command. But then, males were known to act very differently with their mates, weren't they? How long would it take for the power of the fresh bond to fade?

She startled when he lifted her chin. "I hate that look." She furrowed her brows. "I don't need to read your mind to know you're questioning your safety here. If I will harm you, despite our bond. There is a mask we wear, Feyre, to protect our people." Uncurling his fingers, he slid his hand across her jaw, reaching to cup the back of her neck. "If there is one thing you always keep faith in, let it be that this bond is sacred to me. I'd sooner slit my own throat than lay a hand on you in anger or malice. Understand?"

She nodded and he let go, his fingers trailing her jaw as he released her. The spell was broken by a soft rapping on the bedroom door. He rolled his eyes, begrudgingly calling for whoever was on the other side to come in. Seconds later a female of great resemblance to Rhys stormed through the door. The eyes and coloring they shared easily marked her as his mother, though Feyre was thrown by the wings the female possessed. She was another Illyrian, yet Rhys’ lack of wings and clearly pointed ears put them apart.

She was distracted from the puzzling relation when the new arrival began lecturing her mate. "Rhysand, what were you thinking? Your father sent you in his place because he thought you'd keep your head and—"

"Mother, may I request you wait to berate me until my mate isn't present to hear it?"

"Your... what?"

His lips curled into a soft smile at the pure glee in her voice, stepping away just far enough to reveal Feyre's position on the edge of the bed. "My mate, Feyre. Feyre, this is my mother, Victorie."

The female gasped, her violet eyes bright as she took in Feyre. "I, uh, haven't cleaned up yet," Feyre said with a blush. If this female was anything like her own mother, her current state, smelling and soaked to the skin, was unacceptable.

"Oh, who cares about that? You are gorgeous. We'll be talking over breakfast in the morning. I want to know everything about my future daughter-in-law."

Feyre was too stunned to respond. Never once had her own mother seemed so eager to discuss anything with her, let alone her hobbies and interests. "I'd like that," she finally managed, almost whispering.

"Nostrus requested the meeting because she escaped," Rhys cut in, either recognizing her discomfort or just wanting to get rid of his mother for the evening a little faster. "Rather than still voicing his concern about the water serpent when he heard she was caught... There's something to be said for his pride, I suppose. Luckily for him, the creature is dead." His attention snapped back to Feyre. "The wraiths that helped us, they were indebted to you. Why?"

"I met my fiance a few months ago. The visit overlapped with the Tithe. He had given me a necklace and earrings. When the wraith speaking for her sisters couldn't offer anything, I gave her my jewelry."

"The Tithe?" She watched as realization dawned. "You're Tamlin's betrothed?"

"Drama," a light female voice sang from the hall.

"Avyanna, isn't it past your bedtime," Rhys drawled, earning an offended screech from another winged female, this one in her teens, it seemed. "Tamlin is a friend of mine," he explained to Feyre. "He knows what mating bonds mean and he'll respect ours."

"Will he?" the girl in the doorway chirped. "Rumor has it, he's already head over heels for her. You and your friend may be facing a falling out here soon, and over a female of all things. But we'll just let them worry about that. Hi, I'm Avyanna, but you can call me Avy. We're going to be the best of friends, I know it already." Rhys cleared his throat softly. "Right, sorry. You probably like to get a bath and some rest. We'll see you in the morning." She beamed. "Goodnight!"

"Forgive them, Feyre. They're romantics above all else."

She smiled. "It's sweet. My parents and sisters... We've never had that." He stroked her hair back. "Sorry. You don't want to hear about that."

"Hey." Again, he gripped her chin to keep their eyes locked. "I want to know everything about you. The good, the bad, and everything in between. Nothing you could say will scare me away, Feyre. I promise."

Summoning a set of clothes, light and comfortable enough to sleep in, he guided her to her feet and towards the bathroom. "Go ahead and get cleaned up. Take your time. I can do the same elsewhere."

"This is your room," she said with a frown.

"My hope is that it will now be our room, but if you'd prefer a guest suite, that can be arranged as well." She shook her head. "Alright then. Get cleaned up. I'll be back in a bit."

~~~~~

Rhysand

The second he shut the door to his bedroom he slumped against the wall. He never thought the mating bond would be so overwhelming, yet here he was, struggling with any basic thought beyond what it would feel like to kiss her. "Fuck."

"Rhysand." He grimaced at his father's voice and the heavy steps that marked his angry pace. "I thought better of you than this. That you had matured enough to be diplomatic in a foreign court. Now tell me why there are two blood rubies on my desk."

"Diplomacy went out the window the moment Nostrus tried to kill my mate," he growled right back. "If anything, the bastard should thank me for handling his little problem for him." His father, eloquent as he may be, appeared to be struggling to find a reason to scold him. After all, he'd murdered every male involved in his own mate's attempted wing-clipping at the camps. There were morals among the fae, few as they may be; lines you simply didn't cross. "Is it normal, feeling this..."

"Need to protect, to claim the bond, earn her acceptance? Yes." His father straightened, his cold mask firmly back in place. "Go bathe and get that stench off of you. We'll resume this discussion tomorrow."

Rhys let him pretend the scent of blood and salt and sand was the issue between them, crossing the hall to use a guest suite bath, grateful his magic had already cleaned the worst of it off of him and Feyre both. He was too exhausted to deal with scrubbing at serpent guts and whatever else had been on him. All he wanted now was to sink into bed and wrap himself around his mate. It was terrifying, frankly, how deep he was in it already. They'd met less than two hours ago and she already felt like everything he imagined for his future. More. Certainly more precious than any other female he'd known intimately.

She'd be his reason for living. In truth, he didn't deserve her. Not when on the bad days the man in the mirror looked too much like his father. Not when he'd been groomed to turn into the thing he was watching destroy his mother's joy. Seeing Feyre may have been the first thing to truly make her smile in months. He strived to be better, and he would. Before his thoughts could stray to anything darker, he felt a little tug inside him. A pull on that new thread connecting him to Feyre, tentative and curious. He chuckled, tugging back before reaching for the soap beside him and finishing his bath. Taking his time to dress, he returned to his personal room, knocking softly.

"Come in."

He wished he could claim the first thing on his mind was something respectable, but taking her in, his only thought was how much the fashion of his court seemed to suit her. Granted, he'd yet to see her in any other court's clothing, beyond the ruined dress he'd found her in. "Night Court colors suit you. Feeling better now?"

"Yes. Though I feel like I could sleep for days."

His protective instincts rose again at her tone, the glaze in her eyes. "Nothing else was done to you before you were left at the rocks?"

"I'm fine, Rhys. It was just... frightening. If you and the wraiths hadn't been there, I'd be dead."

He gripped her hands, squeezing softly before pulling her over to sit on the bed beside him. "They won't cross our borders, Feyre. Cassian and I will be marked enemies in the Summer Court, but they have no reason to follow you here."

Perhaps not Summer. Rhys grimaced. "Please stop reading my mind," she whispered.

"I'm no longer doing so intentionally, Feyre. But your shields are abysmal and the bond will only act as an amplifier until you learn to keep that block in place."

She ignored his comment. "Even if Tamlin isn't a problem, his father is another issue entirely. Whatever deal he's struck with my parents... He isn't going to be so agreeable about honoring a barely developed bond."

He took a moment before responding, trying to navigate how to proceed with this conversation. "You are hesitant to accept our bond, yet you have no desire to go through with your engagement."

A heavy silence settled over them, as if she was being careful with her word choice. "All my life, I have been raised with the purpose of bringing wealth or other benefits to my family and court. My sisters too. Elain was the most beautiful and was wed to the Heir of Day almost twelve years ago. Autumn has their eye on Nesta. It took all of one meeting for me to be sold off to Spring, then a sacrifice of my own High Lord before the wedding could even be announced. And now I am here, and while I want to trust your words, I fear I'll be your father's puppet too. A pawn on his chess board."

The rest hung unspoken between them. If she and Rhys weren’t tied by fate’s threads she’d have said goodbye on Summer soil. Made an escape from it all before she considered marrying another royal. His birthright had never felt like such a curse. “You are no one’s puppet. Not mine, not my father’s, not Spring’s. You will never be a pawn again, Feyre. I swear it on my life.”

She sighed, seemingly comforted by his vow—or perhaps just too exhausted to do anything more than slide under the covers.

"Tell me about your family," he murmured, his fingers trailing down her spine as she curled against his chest. "Beyond the marriage business, I mean."

She shrugged. "My mother and father are too busy social climbing to be considered respectable parents. My sisters... We used to be close, but we weren't raised in a way that gave us the time or desire to bond naturally. I love them, but Nesta can be..."

She shook her head. "Elain was your typical middle sister, mediator at the best of times, hidden away at the worst. The favorite too," she said, trying to hide the bitter note in her voice. "Our father's and society's. You should have seen how quickly Vanserra began to favor her. Not that the fascination lasted long. He ran off to The Continent to fight just months after they had their child and hasn't been seen or heard from since.

“Ten years since he set sail and she hasn't heard a word. He's either dead or found another female to enjoy until Helion calls him home, I suppose. I can't say I'm all that surprised. Like I said, it was an arranged marriage. Elain never expected much better from him. Now she's stuck there dealing with those dreadful suitors."

He shook his head. "Two of my father's men were sent as suitors just a few weeks ago. We're natural allies, as solar courts, but with Lucian assumed dead the game is changing. My father is an opportunist, above all else. He wants a strong foothold in Helion's court. Even if Helion's power won't pass to whoever your sister chooses, she's already become beloved."

"Night would have the perfect spy. Clever. And horrible. I hate that her life has become a political game."

Rhys hummed. "She's holding strong, from what I've heard. Entertaining the suitors while dodging their advances." He paused, thinking for a moment. "You know, it wouldn't be terribly difficult to request a visit to Day. Helion and I have ties of our own and if I express you're missing your sister terribly, well, he adores her and would be interested to meet you."

She bolted up in bed, grinning wide. It was the first real smile she'd given him and it took his breath away. "You'd do that for me?"

Cupping her face, he smiled right back. "Feyre, darling, I'd do anything for you. Ask and it's yours."

~~~~~

Taglist: @lulling-night-sky // @edgyellie // @shallyne // @the-lonelybarricade // @darling-archeron // @goddess-aelin // @the-lost-changeling // @faeriequeensuriel // @pandavelaris // @s-uppertime // @elentiya-whitethorn // @acotar-fanns // @jealousveronya // @acourtofwips // @reverie-tales // @gwynkyrie // @corcracrow // @thelovelymadone // @rosanna-writer

[messenger-of-stupidity]

NAH NAH NAH

Okay. Let's go through the thoughts of this latest update. There's a lot so buckle up buttercup.

1. Kravitas is literally so based. He's willing to spare Albus the suffering of long travel just because he's bored when typically he would enjoy Albus suffering.

2. Only Albus would risk insanity to spite a demon. Ever heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, Albus? Seriously, these dude shot himself out of a fucking canon to stop Devlin from touching this hella cursed sword, but in typical Albus fashion when it's his safety and emotional welfare at stake common sense flies out the gods be damned window.

4. Is Kravitas really a demon or was his statement last episode about being more than that the truth that Albus just chose to call bullshit on?

5. Kerano, sweetie, if you don't like the sweater you don't gotta be nice to me and lie. Tis okay

6. Dad is back with his video of a casual demon attack. A normal Thursday. You'd think violence could slow enough for Faithful to get some groceries but I guess not.

7. AN ADULT TALK? EXCUSE ME? also yes now shoo child.

8. Guess I'll just go in a bunker and braid some hair or some shit. Whatever.

9. Don't you love it when the father figure of your child is so obsessed with transformers that he turns into a robot? (Yes I know he didn't turn into a robot. It just sounded kind of robotic in my head and it was funny.

10. What's the song called? It was kind of a vibe.

11. Oh my God we're raising a menace, thief, AND a liar. Where did we go wrong? 😭 Also can Faithful read minds? She was able to hear Kerano's mind about a key or something before Kerano had it, and was able to read the thoughts after that.

12. Move aside, Faithful is coming through like a badass. Hold the child

13. Oh neat. Both Albus and I have yelling voices in our head. 🥲

14. "I AM THE GREATEST GOOD YOURE EVER GONNA GET" - Faithful 2023

15. IS HE CUTTING OFF HIS HAND?! KERANO LOOK AWAY

16. Are... Are you seriously gonna make me choose between my two husbands right now? WHERES MY POLY OPTION? (Albus and Devlin in strictly familial relationship with each other. No condoning incest here)

-Branch-

Albus Route:

- yeah u tell him Devlin! How dare he try to reject us after saying it was our choice. Bitch

- UH I UH UHM ER

- daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry

- HOW MANY ROUNDS? Albus let her BREATHE before you fuck her to death omg

- I thought we became a bio mom to half demon children. But nah turns out we became a slutty saint

- YOOOO another thing in common with Albus! We both don't like kids. For different reasons but the point still remains

- Awww. He misses Devlin.

- Kerano is wholesome but I ain't forgiving her for snatching that key

- wait does anyone remember when he said he wouldnt tap faithful with a ten foot pole? Does that mean he tapped her with an eleven foot pole to stay true to his word?

- Devlin Route -

- that's what your brother said to me in an alternate reality when I chose him too.

- Albus back with the orgies. My angsty brain McThinks it's some copium since that's his whole "nothing hurts me!" Mask

- "HES A ROCKIN SPACE AGE BACHELOR MAN" I hope he gets his dream of being a monsterfucker

- Faithful got that holy rizz sheeeeeeesh

- astrology 🥰

- wait nevermind. Just some brotherly love

- you can call me darling any day of the week baby. I am living for it.

- Awww starry kiss. 🥹

Update: I keep forgetting there's a high chance that GBA will see this... BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?! I STAND BY WHAT I SAID (/lh) 😤😤😤

Update #2: for those asking about the third route thoughts, that's a secret that I'm saving for a fic.

[bangtanwritershq]

BangtanWritersHQ Presents: “Bangtanstrology"

The magic surrounding the creation of BTS is a story that is the same, yet different for each of their soulmates in ARMY, since we are all born under the same Milky Way but in different stars.

You look at the spread of tarot cards on the cloth-covered table, surprise filling your eyes in the low light of the psychic’s room. Despite having this recurring dream since childhood about seven men and the providence of the universe, you try to argue with him.

“You’re insane. How can I be yours? And also be fated to 6 others?”

“Yes, my moonchild, you are destined for great things,” his voice is deep, full of sex and smoke. “This card may say ‘Death’, but it symbolizes not your actual death, but the death of who you were before me, before us. This card here tells me that this death and rebirth will happen almost instantly. In the dark nights, we’re each other’s lights. Once you leave this tent, your life will forever be changed.”

You can’t speak, so shocked by his words, so you nod as you stand up, depositing the few bills you had previously readied as a tip as you gather your bag. Eyes looking back at the man, you feel more than hear his next words straight to your core.

“You can’t fight fate, and you are our destiny.”

Back outside the psychic’s building, as you walk to the bus stop, you sense something is off, but are unsure if you’re in danger. You safely board and the trip home flies by so quickly that you’re already off the bus and that much closer to safety. As you enter your neighborhood, the feeling returns. Speeding up, you turn the corner by the convenience store, running smack into a broad chest before bouncing backward and onto the ground.

It feels as if the Earth has shifted. The setting sun has the sky lit up in hues of lavender and violet, a gorgeous purple halo surrounding the seven sets of eyes looking at you.

“This can’t be a coincidence!” you gasp, confused at how they could manifest from your slumber to reality. “I dreamt of you.”

The one you ran into steps closer as the others behind him peer around to get a better look at you. His hand is open, palm up stretched between your bodies.

“Take it,” he says, and the others around him echo the words.

“Take it.”

You recognize one of the voices, sultry and smokey; he smirks at you as if to say ‘I told you so’.

“My hand reaching out to you is my chosen fate.”

This June marks the 10th year of BTS, the fated soulmates of ARMY. Because we are the two, who found our destiny. And to outsiders, the story is so incredible. It must be a myth, a thing of lore. No such thing could be true! But we know the truth.

KEY:

🔞 - nsfw (mature themes) ✅ - sfw (no warnings) 💖 - smut ⚠️ - other warnings

SET UP - emojis: Title (if link is to another platform) | Author [parts] pairings, genre/aus, rating, word count

🔞 💖 ⚠️ Masks & Merlot | @colormepurplex2 [2/2] Pairing: ModernLegacyHeir!Kim Seokjin x Servant!Reader AU Type: Long-time Pining | Drunken Love Confessions Rating: MA WC: 13,961

🔞 💖 Closer | @downbad4yoongi [1/1] Pairing: Namjoon x Jimin AU Type: Mutual Pining | Dinner in Rome Rating: MA WC: 2,571

🔞 💖 ⚠️ If It's Our Last | @moonleeai [1/1] Pairing: BondedPistil!Jimin x Stamen!Jungkook AU Type: Strangers to Lovers | Pistilverse Rating: MA WC: 2,404

🔞 💖 ⚠️ College Nights, Diner Fights | @hisunshiine [1/1] Pairing: waiter!Jungkook x waitress!Reader AU Type: Diner, e2l | angst, smut, fluff Rating: MA WC: 9,664

✅ ⚠️ What if... | @mrsparkjimin18 [1/1] Pairing: Production Director!Yoongi x Art Director!Hoseok AU Type: Mutual Pining, Hidden Feelings | fluff Rating: PG-13 WC: 2,884

All stories copywritten of the specified author. The authors provided consent for their stories to the network to be shared by submitting their stories. Stories posted in the order of submission to the event.

[not-a-space-alien]

Hey Valen! I heard you talk about that when you lived in vampire territory, you used buy ethically sourced blood from a different country... Does that mean that there is a society made up of vampires and humans living together? like, Symbiotically, and not a predator/prey relationship? And if so, have you ever thought of moving there?

Sorry for a scary question, but... now that you are surrounded by humans everyday, are you ever worried about controlling yourself...? or other humans controlling themselves too, sorry!!!

Okay end on a high(er) note! What's one thing that shocked you about living on the human side that surprised you? Like, I imagine Vampire's don't have dogs, since the only thing they hunt are humans... although I suppose you do have snowball... maybe certain sayings like 'that man was born with a silver spoon in his mouth'?

Okay thanks for answering all these questions!... Again~ make sure to cuddle with snowball for me!

"Yes! There are areas of the world where relations between vampires and humans are friendlier. They're not... abundant, and it's not like humans and vampires are nextdoor neighbors in those places... But they at least don't live in fear of each other, which is a wonderful first step. There's no violence. I've toyed with the idea of moving there before. The culture is different, and they have fairly strict immigration policies... I'm not sure they would let me in because of my connection to the blood farms. They're protective of their humans... I mean, the human populations nearby who provide them with blood voluntarily. They go to great lengths to avoid anything that could potentially upset the status quo of nonviolence they have there. They're fairly liberal with using exile as a punishment for violence."

"I was scared about controlling myself before, yes--not anymore. Before I learned what starvation felt like, I had a silly notion that smelling human blood would make me lose control. That's why I wore the beaked mask--it held scented plants under my nose. That's what they were originally for. It feels...silly in retrospect. I have been hungry enough to lose control of myself now, and I know I would never reach that state again unless I was starved of blood for a long, long time." He shudders at the thought.

"Vampires do have dogs, actually! They have the same domestic animals that humans do--Vampires never actually domesticated any animals ourselves, as you said--we have little need for them in reality. But vampires take a fancy to animals the same way humans do, so we have dogs, cats, horses, rabbits--most of the same ones. We keep food animals like cows and pigs mostly for keeping our humans fed." He flaps his hands with excitement as he stumbles upon a particularly interesting train of thoughts. "The domestication of rats actually started in the 18th century, which is well within the lifespan of a single vampire. It's plausible that if a vampire were so inclined, they could single-handedly oversee the domestication of an entire species if it had a particularly short generation time. We could even establish our own lines of fancy cat and dog breeds. Can you imagine it? That would be so interesting!" He takes a brief pause as he imagines himself trying to breed a domesticated line of opossums.

"Oh, but the question was about differences. Sorry... You're right that there are quite a lot of linguistic differences. Most of them have to do with food--so much of human culture is structured around food. The most egregious example is the ubiquitousness of the coffee table, which I still don't quite understand no matter how many times Lex and Ari explain it to me." He does understand it, he just thinks it's stupid. "Light and dark symbology are reversed between our cultures, too. We view the moon as the primary celestial body and the sun as the secondary one. Nighttime is safety and light is danger. The first time Ari said something about death and Lex said it was 'dark humor'--well, I had to think about that phrase for a while."

Valen pulls Snowball onto his lap and cuddles her.

[lamentingocean]

MONGRANG X JAHA

- Return of The Crazy Demon-

-Dystopian Apocalyptic Wasteland Edition-

Part 2- Ending of Darken Abyssal.

---------------------------------------

Warning: murders, call of duty ass battles, survival, and genuine tension of one's safety, and slight relationship break, clashes against one's forces, delicious angst, sacrificial devotion, just pure shitty despair.

Unfortunately, I had to make another one because of issues. I literally can't edit the first one. I apologize+

-----------------------------------------------------

-continuation of the last one-

pure evil, straight pure and malicious evil to be seeing your subordinates in despair all because the conflict of your brother has jeopardized the lives of others, including his units. wars are won by those, willing to sacrifice everything but the fact that our bosses. the men in authority of our very lives, hopes, dreams, unrealistic scenarios of a dream are two blood related humans with a very different undiscovered past of their hateful tension.

I prep myself up for the mission, storing food, water, and blankets in my duffel bag. I left multiple times at the sword demon's blacksmith, I started to see the idealistic approach to their conflict, two of them were stuck in a standard to be better than one another or be at conflict with everybody who deems your skills with criticism, expressing their own opinionated minds to their higher ups of this corrupted driven money worshipping society. I wonder if jaha had ever known about their truth of our companies just being a pawn to unhealed truama/ sibling rivalry by damage of something or someone, he probably doesn't care and is his main priority to live for himself along with me instead of others as our plan to decimate our companies by the greatest act of betrayal in favor of despair will put us at the pure concept of free will. But isn't this world the opposite of free will. corporations and businesses, running our lives and food by money are seen as the new god and savior.

"The gods will protect us." They say.

it sickens my heart and stomach to the core to think we're such a divided society enough to put us at the risk of self-destruction either by ego or money. And this is supposed to be the image of God? makes me even more happy to know I'll live for myself, agreeing with jaha's next life plan.

I pack a notebook for Intel just in case.

plant life is hard to grow in an apocalyptic world. especially when food is harder to ponder for, stores are barely getting by, every time we pass by a grocery store growing black mold all over its cement walls, or a insufferable stench either by moldy food or decomposed corpses laying around. they were probably still seeping in a pool of their own metallic blood during the events of doomsday, now is just skeletons and dissipating limbs. how saddening.

I ventured out, breathing in and out like darth Vader by the gas mask. northwest is usually how we go outside of the city ruins. I take one step to another, repeating it until it's a broken record, my mind kept darting back to the mysterious relationship between the boss and our main enemy boss of the company we're fought for so long, both of them use their strongest weapons as a pawn, both of them sacrifice their even most loyal of warriors and assassins die by their hands and they won't bat an eye to the damage they've done to get a winning advantage. I wonder if billionaires and any type of person holding so much cash in their cards to get anything they want consider their actions as morbidly horrible, even governmental leaders and ceos capable of harming society with one word. One single word can cost everything.

Like a god. what a coincidence.

I step to the crunchy sound of grass. a forest seen directly outside the freeway street.

I step out of the freeway to see dead birds, cows with their guts out attracting flies, and poisonous berries, flowers, and ivy surfacing in the mulky, brownish grass. each step felt like a small splash of dirty water onto my shoes. from my remaining intel is absolutely no fresh materials in the forest, same as oranges, tomatoes, and strawberries, dirty grass and dying trees, but I have to keep searching just in case.

I take some wood out of a tree and lit up a small blaze of fire.

taking a pack of ziplocked hot water, I lift up my ramen to pour it into the noodles. letting it heat while I check for my surroundings, seeing nobody but only sounds of rustling out the bushes. I squint to see jaha stabbing a fresh starved pig, sheathing his blade out of its red flesh, creating a trail of animal blood beyond the green depths of the bushy leaves.

I watched as he took slices of its meat and put it into a reused plastic bag. His resourceful skills will always be admirable, reusing the same clothes and lingering manly scent I'll never be able to whiff again. The pig's blood stained his fingers and palms disgustingly, metallic subtance of further proof that humans and animals are the same species but in a different format while humans are intelligent and has the physical development to grow, generate, and populate while animals do the same thing. is just a difference between mentality. jaha looked to the side of his eye, pig's blood splattering across his cheeks and lips to slash more meat to store as he saw him in a slight surprise but unimpressive reaction to my scavenging for intel.

"What are you doing here?"

"Sent on another mission to gain intel what are you doing?"

"Lydia's children had been eating up the food you gave her. which means she ran out. so before I go into the forest to look for some meat, she doesn't know how to cook meals at all when this society relies on nourishment of your well-being. so I plan to teach her if I have time."

"Time?"

I lift up the hot cup of noodles, pouring in the seasoning package and vegetable package before stirring it. He approached me, slamming down the large sacks of pork meat from that deceased pig, almost like he offered some of its meat to me instead of eating processed ramen in the middle of a apocalypse.

"Lydia...how she's doing right now?"

"I do daily checkups on her and her children every day at the abandoned parking lot, she's holding up well, teaching herself how to shoot and locking up the doors to the building above her so it's marked at her home, giving herself melee combat instead of relying on a gun to kill people. Impressive..she's able to hold well for a single mother of children."

"I see. But I don't want to talk about her anymore. I want to talk about you. Are there any updates on your daughter?"

a smile slowly grew on his face at her condition.

"yoran. she's in a different city led by an open orphanage. My assumption of the orphanage in this apocalypse is to bring homeless, filled with despair, alone children to a home where they can actually feel peace. but..he never told me the location of the city. but I'm glad she's alright. mentally and physically."

" I promised I would take care of her along with you, right?"

he put a slice of dripping pork meat on the blazing flames as his voice is both either toned with regret or hectic, skepticism.

Yeah. as the sex demon. I wouldn't want you watching adult TV shows and 50 shades of gray while she's walking around hanging out with you, wondering what you're watching and instead... accidentally truamatized her by sexual content."

"I'm not that type of person anymore."

"You are. unless your addiction to spicy shows before the apocalypse started dimmed down a lot. since.. technology is barely a thing to us anymore. all I want to do is protect her. if you can support and abid by those rules to never watch PORN. then yeah. I'll let you take care of her along with me. remember, one time, I broke into your house to assassinate you, and the first thing I heard was: "EVER HEARD OF JERKMATE??" I left. instantly."

my voice softened, understanding his worry for his daughter's safety and content in the internet.

"since when did you-..ok I've changed. and I wouldn't deliberately watch that type of shit around your adopted daughter. if it's boundaries and rules I have to follow to take care of her as my own then you'll have my full consent, soul, and devotion to leading her life to a much more better path than being stuck in this apocalypse for far too long. you and me. as fathers. a deal? Since our relationship will continue to grow."

"Fine. It was when you were finished with your greatest prize a mafia assassin could ever ask for, being sent to a stripper club, in a private club just so you can explore the things you desire most about woman. disgusting to me. while I had a mission in siberia I just accomplished. I had to do some more work assassinating the current country's most powerful mafia bosses and crime cartels. My last mission was to kill you."

"And you didn't."

"Shut your mouth."

he took his slices of cooked pork off the stick, letting its scorching sizzle to resonate. he looked at it before taking a bite of its soft yet hardening flesh.

" could use some seasonings. But aye. Thanks for a knowledging boundaries when it comes to taking care of her. I don't want an incontinent degenerate like you to take away her innocence as a young girl living in an apocalyptic dystopia world. it's up to us to take care of her. instead of exposing that shit to her unprovoked."

"This incontinent degenerate is in love with a insane mass murderer like yourself so I guess we're both fucked up at our own way. especially when both of us are just devils born into a world run by demonic entities, using intelligence for evil. didn't you mention your family is dead?"

"yeah."

a droplet of rain fell onto my hand, pummeling onto the surface of the greenery before it fell harder, taking the fire out in an instant. I grab jaha's hand and put him next to me in a large tree, sheltering us a bit from its frigid precipitation. small drops of rain still scattered across our skin.

"Anyways.. what happened to them..?"

"Don't exactly remember. But it was when I was an errand boy. working and getting paid 13 bucks an hour before something happened in my hometown. Apparently, a civil war broke out, and my parents didn't have enough time to evacuate the vicinity before they were set to kill everybody on the battlefield. Or ones that didn't have time to get away from danger. and then they...my grandparents didn't give enough details.. but they're gone. they can't come back. It is what it is."

the rain sprinkling across his cheeks to his eyes makes it look like he's crying.

"really..? is that what truly happened?"

"Yeah. if I was just...stronger as I am now, I could've called them and helped them evacuate, then none of that would've happened. I wasn't filled with genuine insanity as I was when I was an errand boy, multiple women trying to get my number, disgusting customers, disrespect, childish.. I don't miss it at all. when I was weaker.. when I was more vulnerable, obedient, kinder..this world hates the joy of others, so they try to fill them with despair and misery as much as others."

"I see. did they ever capture your parent's bodies? since it's a warzone?" I ask with curiousity and a hope I didn't cross boundaries with him.

"No. they never did. The only report I got from any survivors who knew my parents is: just a couple of limbs under a bunch of debris. not being able to successfully mourn their loss. I feel a bit indifferent about it. almost nothing..hallow soul."

"No, you dont." I mutter in disbelief.

"What?"

"I believe you feel something other than indifference. The individuals giving you life have lost theirs. it's impossible to feel indifferent for that."

"ahh fuck..it's been years since it happened. and during those years, it was also my grandparent's demise. was selfish enough to care more about my martial arts training than visit their funerals to mourn their losses. so hellbent on becoming stronger to disregard the tragedy and fallen heritage of the "Lee family." I don't forgive myself for that. when I used to be so angry."

"You don't have to feel these emotions all the time."

I grazed his soaked jacket.

"I'm here for you if you need me. even if you see me as just an incontinent degenerate, you know me as.~, but this degenerate cares more about you than I do about my life. remember that as you will. I may be an asshole at times, but I reassure you."

"You insult yourself a lot."

"You do it more than me."

he chuckled.

"factually accurate. But..thank you. never expected you to be so open-minded to anybody else other than the sword demon."

"I'm not stupid."

jaha reached his hand upon the rain, coating his palm with its satisfying drippings.

"It's raining pretty hard. should we seek shelter?"

"No. I'm pretty content with the relaxation of the falling rain, and also, being here with you than loneliness is better than anything I experienced in my life. the rain, your aura, your presence, all of it fills me with an emotion I can't describe."

"and yet I find your efforts to claim me more than attractive woman is supremely maddening but intriguing at best. you've changed. and I don't hate it. I'm just trying to adjust to the new change of yours. from a perverted dumb ass to a person with thoughts and feelings who knows his actions are taken accountable for."

"Are you aware that i'm unforgiving of my past self. not forgive and not forget?" I said with a sharp exhale.

"Very aware. Can respect you for that no matter how much you're an idiotic sperm spreading cunt at times. we're both equals. and nothing can change that. two ying and yangs. but two of us are enveloped in the dawn of darkness with just a small radiant light. insanity is at one with me while lust is at one with you."

"I feel lust when I want to feel lust. including you."

his face lingered against mine, like he's pampering me to test that lust. the rain leaking down the bangs of both of our hair.

"we can take off our gas masks in this weather. I don't care if we'll get sick due to the mist, but all I want is to do you."

" Isn't that unsafe?"

I looked down to jaha's mask, slipping off to his mere upper lips, his lips circling in a smirk as he spoke: "I don't care."

"Geez, calm down.."

once the last drips of rain have landed onto the grass,I set up the fire to warm us up.

"Don't pamper me with lust. pamper me out of your own antics in trickery. I love it when you're unpredictable.~"

"...have a question."

" What is it?" I light crackles onto the fire to blaze at it more.

"What was it like being in the mong family? the most powerful family in china?"

"they had their expectations as their most beautiful, intelligent, sly, and physically strong son by forcing me to take martial arts while I was seven to five years old, having me take china's most prestigious schools. that includes schools relying on intelligence to get grades, schools taking college level calculus and algebra, literature, after-school activities, and school councils.

like they didn't care for the state of their child's wellbeing. They only care about who will lead their heritage for generations. If I have children or not, if I find the one that I love, then I'm forced to have children... if it was a woman. instead of a man. after the apocalypse. my parents lost so much of their wealth, ended up homeless, and eventually got killed by a bunch of wastelanders knowing their occupation and appearance by first glance."

"i see..didn't they have strong protection? Like bodyguards?"

"No."

I scrap more of the flashing fire bits to the small inferno.

"they didn't have any. they were brainwashed to think they're invincible, thinking their organic souls were omnipotent and unscathed. but.. no. this damn apocalypse had ruined both of our lives. same goes for the dystopian corruption running this world to a path of control and self-destruction..it makes my stomach churn."

"The best option is to live for yourself instead of living in the past. It slowly destroys you if the past is still looming around your mind constantly with no end. even if the days of this world are in a painful loop. You don't have to suffer the expectations of your parents, nor suffering the way of the world is now, you became a changed man, changed from a moron to a true fighter. you...have me."

"W-what..?" I glanced right back at him, pausing my aggressive handiwork to surge the flames to warm us up.

"I said you have me. you can talk endlessly to me, you can cry to me, you can rage at me. let out emotions kept closed off, breaking you until instability claims your brain, worry to me, ponder to me, all of the above. even if we're destined to kill each other, then I'm here. people hurting usually bottle it up, sharing it with nobody but to let them feel more of the pain than expressing. It's like just.. slitting your arm open. or just fishing out bullets out the collarbone."

that.. had my heart thump intentionally, out of an action I didn't control,I hugged him down to the waist and neck. his breath hitched at this sudden comfort, but slowly hugged me back in a stern but calm embrace.

"Thank you. Jaha. thank you so much.. we're supposed to be enemies. But.. I can't help but think you're the one for me. a person I can understand.. a person I can talk to without any disregard or negligence."

"The one? That's too fast."

" I know. but still..when this is all over. when our destinies to kill each other had been revoked, tie been broken, fate had been demolished. I still want you. still want you to be by my side even as we grow older, even as society rebuilds."

"Too fast, you idiot."

he ruffled my hair, as my body relaxes slightly to his touch.

"aware. I'm being genuine here. You could at least acknowledge how much I've fallen for you."

"Sheesh.."

he looked up to the misty, blackish, greenish sky.

turning nightfall at the two of them.

"we had enough..aren't you going back to your company?"

"No. I want to stay here with you. if we have to go to sleep in the woods, then so be it."

"we'll get sick you twat."

I stood up, grabbed my weapons sprawled around the grass, and took out the fire by a handful of dirty rainwater before looking back at jaha, adjusting his sniper latching on his backpack handle.

"Hopefully, you'll be safe ok?"

"Yeah. I'll be at home. or rather your home to be exact-"

"Aye, don't say that. I give you the fullest permission to live and relax in the comforting depths of my home grounds instead of living in danger throughout these abandoned streets, roads, freeways, and ruins. you're no longer at the influence of your company. your freed."

"Figured as much since you let me use your shower. you use a towel and a small bar of leftover flower scented soap? Really?"

"Gotta use what you can get. But can i get a kiss before we separate again?" I said, slightly pleading.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. we haven't shown much affection until the day our desires for one another burst into a rain of sparkles, my little pony ass. plus, I still need to make preparations and pre determined plans to further our paths for ourselves instead of serving to companies seeing us as disposable value than a real human being with emotions. I still latch into that determination to destroy our respective companies, find the location, orphanage, direction, and city yoran is. love her and you. that's all that matters. Doesn't it?"

"That's my child."

"officially. It's mine too.~" he sighed at my cocky tone of voice, a sigh of both resignation, trust, and irritation.

"Save it when you get back. we'll have to restock on food. any grocery stores around the city. we need no fresh foods that'll grow moldy in the spam of 4 days later. but..I trust you. more than I trust my subordinates and companions in battle, trust you more than this narcissistic god controlling every aspect of our pathetic human lives. so hopefully your head isn't at the shit depths of your anal once everything goes out of order in the midst of our plan to live for ourselves than living for others."

"I promise I won't."

We both stepped back from each other, and our steps plattering the wetness of the greenery as a sense of longing started to grow into the atmosphere. My fists clench as me and him turn back on each other in unison. every new information jaha had told me had been circling my mind once we went farther away. I almost...want to protect him, take care of him, and treat him like a true loyal man in a healthy relationship. I love him like I always did.

I am so perfectly aware he's independent and capable of taking care of his own wellbeing, but I want to be there for him. his life in general had always been extremely and eerily mysterious. so..the mere fact that he's opened up to his family history is a boost of our trust, our companionship, everything. do I need to go back to HQ or go grocery shopping? HQ first. and then grocery shopping.

each step took a mile, and the city ruins were in full visibility but slightly misty from the radioactive mist, I tried to prioritize my thought process when it comes to shit I don't understand or if I do understand then it's directly towards jaha or his daughter in a another city. I can't figure it out, I'm a grown fucking man. I am not a autistic child whose thought process is completely disproportionate. I see something in the distance. is it...the sword demon? why is he here? what does he need? and third of all: why the hell does he have his most legendary blade?

"Master?"

"mongrang. I have something to tell you." his voice full of challenge.

"You came all the way out here just to tell me something?"

"It's important. I couldn't stay at HQ just because of your next mission standards and conditions. even as your master. it..."

"seriously what's going on?"

his eyes dimmed down in an unexpected worry in those black eyes.

"You were assigned a mission to go to another city and retrieve someone from an orphanage. The reason why I'm so worried about this and about you is because of the civil war in that city. and supposedly.. some living government officials who had controlled the civil war planned to initiate a nuclear nuke. I don't know if it's an assassination mission, stealth mission, and throwing you into the bombs of a governmental civil war..but you can't go."

My blood just ran cold.

"Someone from an orphanage..? But how.. every city controlled by governmental authorities had either approved of the idea of doomsday or control by using the grim reaper as their pawn."

"Our boss said his decision is ultimately final. the city's name is "Juniper" northwest of the outskirt forest of the city ruins. I expected you to survive. I know the relationship between you and jaha. If your feelings get in the way of your mission, then it isn't going to end well for everybody. Even for you. this civil war on their side is a battleground of death. incapable and devoid of survival or even living as a human being. I won't test your abilities since I've taught you more than enough how to become formidable. But..this starts tomorrow."

"But who am I targeting in a orphanage..? you haven't explained a thing about that."

he stepped back from me before turning his back to the misty, empty, despairful horizon.

"All will be explained in due time. Until then. go home. grocery shop. do whatever while you're at it. this mission is a definite example of why a human soul is exchangeable and conductive. I don't want to come back to HQ 2 days later to see your body in a grave. go ahead and leave. consider sparring with jaha. You need it for tomorrow's unfortunate pre determined outcome of your own saddening human life."

everything swirled in my meaty brain. is it...yoran? jaha's daughter? I had my suspicions of the boss capturing a young child for either blackmail or just for unknown context. But seriously? a civil war? humanity is so fucking divided than even aliens will see us as just childish peices of entitled, inner superiority complex cunts. jaha's reaction to my involvement in a civil war is unknown, but I'm not scared. I'm just hoping he'll come with me. I seem to grow an attachment to him. hungry dog.

I walk as this information is a lot to take in.

I started to see a small convenience store the size of a Costco, appearing as withered, peppered with broken windows and pieces of...limbs on the shards of the windows. The boarded up doors were slightly broken but held good. just enough for my strength to pull them out. I lift my hands to the wood.

Easily breaking them off and entering the store, only to be met with even more dismemberment in the side of my eye huddled in a corner. It smells horrible. I'm pretty sure 2 hours after the horrific fate of humanity as called "doomsday," the men who mass murdered many of the city's civilizations had fiddled with the bodies for fun. I don't even want to talk about what shit they did to the bodies of dead woman.. God, why are we so insufferable.

I walk to each aisle, and most stocks of food are taken. but I see a lot of vegetable soup cans at the bottom of the shelf, same as a package of mixed spicy chips and muffins on the side. the expiration date of the muffins is..3/11/20. next month. I tried to pack it all in a big bag so I wouldn't have a problem carrying it back to my home. someone came into the store unannounced.

the sounds of those deep grunts, I watched his fingers close his nose to the pile of dismemberment in the entrance to the store. It's jaha. what's he doing here? I flinched back to see his eyes look directly at me. I can't face him due to the mission tomorrow as I'm conflicted about telling him or leaving him confused as to why I leave to charge through a civil war to retrieve his daughter. for whatever reason.

"I came to look for you.."

"Why?"

"...my boss came by eariler to blackmail me. he said: "come back into my company in time before our war begin and I won't share any data of yoran's personal information to human traffickers still alive in the city, better yet..to assassination companies not even giving a fuck about murdering a child. come back and your daughter is safe...for the time being."

of course, I declined to come back. I know he isn't bluffing. by the tone of his voice. he also showed me the personal documents and informative files of yoran's history. considering your plan.. I need them dead. Right now. if we have the chance to kill him and your boss while I'm currently a lone wolf."

I chuckled nervously, trying to peice together this cryptic puzzle in my mind.

"blackmail..? damn. he's really trying so hard to get you to come back since none of his forces can fight better than you. even during the past battles of our companies. you fight like a..whoo..~"

"..."

his face knows that I'm lying to him.

"I-.. both companies...are targeting yoran just as a lead for more destruction. I been...sent to a mission just to retrieve yoran out of her orphanage. right as two divided companies or forces like ours are having a civil war. exactly like what we've been trying to do. so it's either a gamble with my life or an intentional thing to just throw their most powerful in a situation they have no business in. I have no information about what my boss is trying to do with her. but it's probably never good intentions at best. please believe me. The point of the mission is all written in unintelligible scramblings."

"..."

"I had to tell you the truth. I couldn't just pack every single weapon I have and leave you behind with unanswered questions, swirling your mind as I didn't say anything as to why or what I'm doing tomorrow. but I couldn't just hide it from you. if my mission was about your daughter. after I promised my devotion to treat her like a father along with you, then it's in my debt if I ever hurt her. I'm sorry..as smart as our company bosses are. they might use an innocent child for blackmail or worse."

his fist clenched and unclenched at the thought of using his daughter for horrible stuff, including criminal activities. he said slowly in a husky voice, holding back his burst of rage:

"Did they have any intention of killing her? or..harming her?"

"I don't know.. all I need to do as long as I'm still alive is retrieve her before anything else happens in their violent civil war. I don't want to hurt her, she's yours and yours alone, she's a child, she has no need going through the shittiest of this sickening world supposedly made to be the image of "God."

No criminal/ terrorist should use the live of a child to blackmail others. if the sword demon gives me more intel about why yoran's capture is relative at all." I said with disgust.

"He probably got the information from my boss since he has the most intel onto yoran's history and life by sneaking some of his stealth unit assassins into the archives in the back of my headquarters smart son of a bitch..he's using her against me. My own daughter to be used as a pawn to these rich fucks, thinking they have the authority of the innocence of human lives who had no involvement to wars or destruction whatsoever.." he sputtered in exasperation and concern.

"jaha. I have made a new promise. if yoran's capture has something to do with torture or murder then I'll do everything in my power to make sure her safety is determined from the start of this journey. this promise remains in my heart from the time I step out in the forest outside of the city. her life is deserving of the peace this world can offer. like limited stocks of a popular food or product everybody in the world hungers to get, no matter what."

"...thanks."

jaha ruffles his hair, taking in my words forcefully as his worry continues to push it back.

"Despite my inability to change as a person due to our past in constantly loathing each other's existence. from the first time you tried castration onto me during a double date, or that time I couldn't go back to the sword demon's private mansion, so I had to bathe in the nearby river, you were there. disgusted at my nudity, you were there. all of it. when my mind was consumed with either embarrassing you, killing you, or insulting you out of every word I speak out of my mouth. we were both different then. this is now. loving each other for who we are."

"Funny how you used to be so cocky."

"...exactly."

with an action i couldn't control, I hugged jaha in a tight, warm embrace, wrapping my arms around him.

"The hell?"

"I love you. too much. it's unfathomable. the way you just.. I can't explain it, but the way you just have me smitten from just anything you do. from a thousand moons to the anarchy of heaven and hell. I'll give up god and the entire religious system of the gods for you. I'll do anything.. This is abnormal. even for me but..honesty is always key in a relationship. whether if it's a web of lies with a fly full of honesty trapped in between. That didn't make sense but I don't give a living damn."

"Oddly compassionate for a pervert but..I love you too."

his hands held my skin as we relaxed in the glory of our scent. jaha smells slightly musky with a small tang of manly perfume with a drop of human blood. ahh..the casual scent of the mad demon himself, can't admit that It got me addicted.

"Since you're basically at home while I depart for this mission. I'll stock up on food so you can feed yourself and make yourself at home the best you can. you don't have to feel like you're forced to be around me and my home. remember that I love you, and I won't set boundaries and commands for your stay. Do you want to grocery shop with me? I can get you all the things you like."

"Sure."

each of our eyes gazed at the various variety of items, going from moldy vegetables, the disgusting odor of rotten meat that haven't been taken out of the refrigerator ever since the climax of doomsday. jaha pounced around the store, pondering on his options to choose what he could get. I held multiple baskets in my arms. one for me. And one for jaha. he put a lot into the basket, including energy drinks and condiments for protein such as packets for flavored water and bars. I wonder about jaha's cycle of protein and dedication of health at times. usually, I see him order a salad while we're both off work at the same time or work out constantly in a gym as I was previously plotting to always kill him at some point.

the last can of soup landed on my basket.

his own item landed on his own.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah I got everything I need. but I have to say something."

"Hm?"

jaha took a dirty backpack off the side of the aisle and gave it to me, resting his strong fingers onto mine for a moment.

"Do you need to pack up everything for your journey? you shouldn't just go ahead and walk directly to your suicide mission without supplements of food or water. I..care about you. so grab some extra cans of soup and drinks despite our big stacks of food for the sake for me instead of your well being. Go ahead."

"Are you serious..? jaha. I don't have to pack for it. I'm only packing my weapons. humans are meant to go days without foo-"

"Just fucking do it. don't want you to starve or be dehydrated as soon as the fifth hour hits after you're gone to the city yoran resides at."

his eyes look to the aisle and back at me 3 times. no debates required. I groaned in response to his concern, grabbing an extra basket.

"Don't groan like that. just looking out for your health and safety. I'll worry about you every second of the night and day as soon as you leave to embark on a quest to get my daughter to be used as a fucking blackmail tool." He snarled in anger.

"I understand your concern. but you're basically homeless. The reason why I offered you grocery shopping with me is to give you a lot of food and water while you're residing in my home for the duration of this mission. I'll worry about you too. I know your independence and strength as the highlight of your character as a human, but what happens to you if your boss ever tried to inact violence to get you to join back into HQ?? like breaking into my home and committing arson just for fear propaganda and blackmail just to retrieve his strongest assassin back?"

I raise my voice in worry, slamming multiple cans of soup, sardines, rations, and bars of chocolate.

"The boss doesn't know about your journey to the city as well as the civil war, from what I assume. so if he knows no intel about your wearabouts then it shouldn't be a issue for me to remain unprotected since all that son of a bitch has done is try stupid trickery to pull me back to my company. I'll be ok. Trust me. all he can do is be unintelligent and incompetent at his work since I'm his pawn. My martial prowess is used for his own benefit. I'm no longer his pawn. he'll have nothing to do with me if I continue to decline going back into the company."

"I see.." I mumbled, resting my head down, mind bursting with thoughts of his wellbeing.

"Aye. I trust you just like you trust me. I trust you just because you've earned it throughout our relationship from being hateful loathsome killers to lovers. I trust you enough to come back from the journey, not expecting you to be at one piece, but I do expect you to be alive so I can take care of you. if I can. I still need to study medication by Dr. moyong back at the company, but..I'll be ok. I promise."

"Thanks for that.." I raise my head back up, mumbling in a soft voice.

"You're welcome. just try not to think too much about things that are potentially going to throw off your focus in the middle of battle. for example: thinking about me in the comfort of your home. wonder whether my boss is going to come or not. If this journey requires focus for your main objective, it is to get through the horrors of war and get my daughter, then just..don't think too much, ok?"

"...alright...alright uhm..do I need to carry all of this or?"

jaha slapped my hands off the handle of the 3 baskets in my left hand, picking it up with ease.

"...this is why I fucking love you."

"Let's go. you need time to pack and prepare yourself."

He and him stepped out of the store, running back home. I noticed he matches the pace of my speed, considering our inhuman abilities as still human to begin with, we arrived back home.

lifting ourselves up in the broken elevator.

jaha set the baskets down onto the storage room/ food pantry, grabbing my backpack just to have me stuff food, weaponry, rations, wood, clothes, soap, and a flashlight.

"What's first?"

"Soup, cans of ravioli or chicken soup, flavored sardines such as olive oil, garlic and herb, mexican tortilla flavor, and butter. same as canned tuna out of mexican packages. I looked through your pantry earlier before I came to find you in the grocery store. you have a whole bunch of different foods. so i decided to use that chance to help you pack for this mission."

"Intelligence is sexy." I meowed seductively as I took the three cans of different flavors of tuna and sardines. All of them can fit into a small bag of some sort. I shoved it in the bottom of my bag, watching as jaha scrolls through my pantry.

"Here." his hands had three cans of chef boyardee. I take each of them to pack it up.

"You already have your weaponry such as assault rifles, snipers, pump, and a whole bunch of deadly assortments. Do you need any clothes for it? Or are you going to use the same clothes for the mission?"

"...I'll stick with the same clothes."

the bag started to get heavy as jaha soon started to put a lot.

"Wait chill. I don't need this much."

"Fine. but I want you to be safe while you do this. I don't want you to frantically find some food after running out in the middle of a fucking civil war. I...want you to come back to me. It's not like I'm caring about you more than my daughter. I still want you to survive.-"

I turn his face back to me and press my soft lips against his chapped ones before pulling back seconds later with a genuine, firm smile, reassuring him before he could worry even more. I wonder why he doesn't worry much about yoran than to me? That's his daughter so why?

"I wonder why you worry much more about my safety more than yoran while she's potentially going to be a weapon or a tool for pre determined blackmail and murder. all of this, and yet you didn't say anything about her once. Why is that?" I said in curiosity.

"While my worry for yoran's safety consumes my mind as you embark onto your mission to capture her back to your company after surviving the middle of a civil war in a different city. I see you as her protecter. I see you as someone who can shield her from all possible dangers of that civil war or the dangers of the apocalypse itself. that's why I'm not so worried about her safety that much because I put my trust in your protection for her safety."

"...thank you.." I softly mumbled, flattered at the knowledge of knowing jaha trust me.

"At least. She'll be alive in your hands. I depend on it for the most part."

I fumble my hands in joy, blushing, for a maddening asshole who stabbed me and beat me down like a Olympic warrior towards a wild animal while no weapon is at hand in the middle of a darkened nightclub is surprisingly compassionate to me. to be honest. I'm happy he's slowly opening up to me.

"Thank you..thank you." I softly mumbled once again as I laid my head onto his shoulder, wrapping my trembling fingers onto his waist. as I did this. he slowly sat down onto the bed, spreading his legs to make more room for me to cuddle him, as we're both in the wall.

his hand rose up to carress the light chocolate locks of my hair, soothing me even more to the brink of ultimate relaxation.

"No need to thank me. you've gotten me enough to trust you."

"got?~ so..does that mean you admit you're also in love with me? Don't let your title as the "mad demon" prevent your admittance to say you're also in love?"

"fuck you. We're a couple. I admit that the most." His hand clamped onto my head more to push it more to his bare skin of his neck. causing me to shiver in desire.

"Fine fine.~ Once I'm back. I'll come back for you and take extra priority to yoran's safety. if all of this chaos is over.. once we get back to our normal days of survival in this post-apocalyptic dawn of hell once our companies self-destruct. yoran is my daughter while you're my husband. as an example. Not considering real marriage, but it's true."

" You have a long day tomorrow. rest."

his hand slithered across my chocolate locks, soothing me to the mysterious darkening depths of the dreamworld. I felt content within jaha's energy and presence, holding me tightly as if he were to protect me. I slumped down onto the warmth of his neck, snoring in a sleepy embrace.

-Next Day-

I woke up to see jaha also in slumber, grasping me into his arms, his head slumped into the wall.

It pains me to leave him alone despite the damage and the danger to this corrupted world.

I stand up to put on my most powerfully defense and shield purposed suit, gas mask, boots, every gun weapon, and melee weapon I could possibly stuff in my bag full of clothes and food. I sheathed my sniper to my back along with my back while checking to see if I had everything, including a map that pointed me directly back to this city.

jaha wakes up to the sounds, he stands up along with me, speaking groggy.

"Leaving right now?"

"... yeah. I won't be gone for long. I promise to come back."

he ruffled his scruffy, messy jet black hair.

"You better."

"Temporary goodbye kiss?"

in such speed, he held my cheeks and pressed his lips onto mine, deepening it further and further before pulling back, he handed me a large map circling the locations and data of every city near ours or far away from ours to my chest.

"You better be safe. And I better not see a scrap of yoran's skin being scraped off. Understand?"

"I will.." I mumbled, wiping my mouth before slowly stepping back into the hallway.

"I love you. I'll see you very soon."

"...love you too."

-TO BE CONTINUED-

HAPPY HALLOWEEN GIFT♡

[mr-random-man]

Our New Home Planet

Okay so listen, I never really post my writing because its usually not something i think is worth posting buttt I really enjoyed writing this so I'm going to post it anyway, WARNING I took little bits from two different fandoms, so none of this is canon accurate! I just like writing about my games and also my favourite characters at the same time so most of this is just fun brain fire and not to be taken too seriously.

also if yall like this don't worry i absolutely plan on writing more

Prologue

The last few minutes I had on my home planet were a bit rushed to say the least, and trying to get my entire life into a bag, grab my dog, and get to my ship in under ten minutes was pretty fucking stressful, I would have of course loved more time to prepare and all that good stuff but I'll be honest when I woke up this morning I wasn’t really expecting a rogue asteroid to hit my home.

I run out the door to my ship Avos as fast as my legs will take me, running as I yell to the first couple of my neighbors I see to get on and most of them quickly comply. As soon as the last person was on Avos I started her up and flew as far past the planet as I could get, I’d have to wait for further instructions from the Cyrodiil before I could truly leave our home behind but I’m definitely getting as far away as I can.

As soon as I stop and put Avos into idle I quickly realize that without the sound of her engines whirring in the background how quiet we truly all had become, I turn around in my seat to face the small table behind me where everyone had congregated.

“we’re quite far out of the set blast range so we should be fine now...I’m not sure how much ya'll travel out into space but you can’t go much further than our homes gravitational pull without permission by the Cyrodiil so we’re going to have to wait here just on the edge for a bit until they contact us”

Looking away I sigh thinking about how slow they were to get back to our safety lead when my job sent the whole team out onto a recovering planet that had suffered a supernova going off too close to them not knowing that it left behind a zombie star that went off while we were trying to take off, leaving our crew stranded without a ship for just under two months.

*Quickly explain zombie star here

Trying to avoid worrying anyone any worse than they already are I try to put on a smile as to not spread my thoughts about their reliability

“…they try their best to be quick”

Judging by peoples faces I didn't do the best. A few people slowly nod at me before putting their heads back down or returning to what they were doing before, I sit still for a moment trying to think of anything else comforting to say but my mind only draws blanks as my thoughts wonder back to everything and well, everyone left back home.

Part of my brain begs me to turn the ship so that I can see earth for the last time in its final moments but I just know that when that asteroid hits if we’re watching we’ll never recover.

After finalizing my decision to not turn around my brain looks for another escape, planning. We could live on this ship for a couple months but we’ll run out of supplies for the fabrication machine pretty quickly with all six of us so we’ll need to find a suitable planet to make a new home on, I know probably three planets out of everywhere I've gone to that I could properly breathe without a space suit or gas mask but those were pretty far so we might have to settle for a planet with no oxygen right now and then short-long term a planet with just enough oxygen so all of us could go out even for short bits with just gas masks on because my ship doesn’t come with enough suits for all of us but definitely enough gas masks…

My thoughts trail off before they’re interrupted by a short jingle coming from the speakers of the ship

“V.A.I.A your Virtual Artificial Intelligence Assistant is online”

 “The Cyrodiil has contacted you Mx Clover”

I sigh again but this time with some relief, The Cyrodiil may not always have my trust but in a world ending event It will never not be nice to hear from a source of stability.

“thank you Vaia please bring it up”

A few paragraphs appeared on the large screen above the front window.

Dear citizen, we apologize for not being able to talk to you directly at this time but we are working very hard to insure you and all Cyrodiil citizens safety. Earth is no longer with us, everyone who couldn’t leave the atmosphere within the time period given has been uploaded to the Printing Pod™ and will be reprinted as soon as possible. You as one of the few ships with a large enough crew to launch a rebuilding mission so we are blessing you with the opportunity to rebuild our civilization. If you not only survive but thrive and build us a promising new home, then you will be rewarded with your leaders and loved ones coming to live in our new found sanctuary. More crew will be printed into your printing pod as soon as you are deemed ready for them, make sure you have enough beds, water, food, and bathrooms for all individuals or no new crew will be printed. After this, coordinates to a survivable planet will appear along with further instructions.

You may under no circumstances pick who is reprinted to avoid bias, if you want your loved ones home make a city to fit us all and they will be printed inline with everyone else.

-The Cyrodiil

The coordinates appeared on the screen after their predecessors disappeared along with the instructions

“Thank you for your cooperation, we are sending a civilization packet to you with an upgraded fabrication machine to build all your new city engineering needs! There will also be a step by step guide book series delivered with it about how to build your city and what it needs to grow along with another step by step series on how to govern your city for whoever you choose to be the UNOFFICAL leader of your group! Remember whoever you choose does NOT have any governing authority once The Cyrodiil have arrived and all rulings you make MUST follow the laws and regulations of The Cyrodiil. We look forward to working with you further and watching how your city develops! Any questions you have about Planet: {TERRA} please don’t hesitate to ask your ships AI Assistant! Please wait where you are for the civilization packet to reach you. It will take exactly 24 hours, have an amazing day and good luck!

 ….….great yeah give the fate of our world to a herbalist and their neighbors, thanks guys.

The silence after the messages were read was louder than any ship engine and I couldn’t say shit because I was stuck in the exact same silence as the rest of them.

I'm not sure if trying to comfort them even though I don’t know what to say or just leaving them to their own thoughts is worse, I open my mouth to speak but stopped have way short of any real words, so I decide to just accept the silence that fell upon us and take a few minutes to sit with the reality of the situation.

It felt like I was watching the time literally fly by, sitting in place looking at the clock on my computer as my brain ran through different thoughts and scenarios. They ranged from missing my garden and bed to how I was going to insure our survival on this new planet, I had never even heard of it which already sounds off because I've traveled to or heard of most planets in our surroundings galaxy and especially the survivable ones… I should probably look into our new home shouldn’t I?

Searching the planets name into my ships data base Vaia spoke

“Planet; Terra. 268 planets away, with a lush moss floor and many plant species similar to trees Terra is extremely similar to your home planet, the only clear differences are the lack of large bodies of water on the surface suggesting an expansive underground system of lakes or oceans, the slightly lower oxygen content, and the presence of an aggressive humanoid race of reptilian creatures. Unfortunately no other data is available on the creatures as when the Cyrodiil sent a exploration group to see if the planet was worth colonizing and they came across the creatures the whole crew lost their metal facilitates, apparently the idea of other intelligent life humanoid life is something most humans can’t handle as all 15 Cyrodiil employees have been in intensive care since leaving the Cyrodiil to cancel any further investigations into the planet...until now I suppose! approximate time to reach destination will be 16  days but given the direct orders we’ve received we will not be moving untill tomorrow so I'll adjust the time to 16 days and two minutes”

Nodding along as I take in the info, I pause at her last statement

“And two minutes?”

Her AI features changing to a smile

“Well they never take more than two minutes to deliver”

I also crack a small smile with her words

“Ever the perfectionist you are”

 So the journey looks to be more than a few days, I guess we’ll have time to cope with our home exploding before we have to start making a new one…nice.

I shut down the screen with the instructions and stand up walking over to the others, they all look up at me expectantly and my face falls slightly knowing exactly what’s going to happen

‘oh god please don’t look at me like that… I'm not even a good leader! just because I own a ship doesn’t mean I'm built to be a captain- I'm not ready for this shit-’

is all I can think but as Onyx the sweet old lady who’s lived next to me for ten years looks to me says those damned words I already know my fate is sealed

“so.. what…what are we going to do?”

“fuck.”

[thespoonisvictory]

I think one of the central issues surrounding neverafter that many people are circling around and identifying symptoms of but not the cause, is that the brand of horror that brennan is going for, and the very nature of dnd are at odds with one another.

So much of horror is surrounded by a lack of agency, and the neverafter brand of horror is no different. rosamund wakes up surrounded by briars and cannot move, ylfa is a werewolf against her will, gerard is turning into a frog, pinocchio’s father’s safety is in the hands of an eldritch terror, etc etc. A lack of control over your life or surroundings is the root of so much horror, and you can see brennan try to implement that to varying success.

The issue is that... this is dnd. A game that prioritizes agency and the mechanics of turns, the fantasy of having the control to pick up a sword and fight battles you couldn’t fight in real life. It wouldn’t be a fun game if the intrepid heroes just had stuff happening to them all the time, or if brennan was visibly leading them down one course of action they couldn’t control. In dnd, the pcs choose what to do. But in horror, you’re trapped in the house. You’re transforming against your will. All you can do is try to escape, trapped on the back foot as something or someone hunts you. Moments where the protagonist takes the active stance are few and far between, and often fleeting, giving a false sense of hope.

In neverafter, Rosamund is using her action on her turn to rip briars out of her throat. Ylfa uses a bonus action to go into a rage. They choose where to go next, and roll perception checks to see what’s happening. The feeling of being overwhelmed and afraid is so rare, because you cannot put the horror of a lack of autonomy in a game that is so fundamentally about autonomy. 

The moments of most effective horror for me, such as moments in the princesses castle as they realize the scope of the enemy, rosamund locking herself in her room, even just exploring in the woods in episode 2, are always the moments when the intrepid heroes don’t know what’s going on, or what to do. But these moments have to be few and far between, because in order for it to be a fun game of dnd, they kind of need to know what’s going on.

Similarly, another large facet of most horror is a lack of information, or context. A noise is the dark, mysterious claw marks or figures in the window, a masked killer, etc etc. And Brennan has chosen to do the horror season in a fairytale season... where we almost immediately can guess the backstory of every major npc. Regardless of whether metagaming is happening, the baron of bricks is made significantly less scary for the fact that we can immediately intuit his whole deal thanks to the story he comes from. 

The pcs can roll insight checks, and brennan is not the sort of dm to skimp on backstory or philosophical context. So many conversations this season are full of ruminating on the fluffy-sweet meaning of life and writing our own story, which removes any sense of cold confusion that could come from where the intrepid heroes should go next.

The horror and the medium (as well as the premise of the story within that medium) are at odds with each other.

This post is already so long, but I need to give one example of brennan’s horror working in a different campaign to illustrate my point.

In fhsy ep 3, riz fights baron in the office. This is a famously terrifying scene, proving that d20 is capable of horror, and it cleanly avoids so many of neverafter’s problems:

1. The mechanics or backstory of baron is not apparent in any way, or ever even really revealed. All we know is that Something is in the office, and even when we see it, none of our questions are answered (is it a manifestation of lies, a servant of the nightmare king, even real in the first place? how did it get in the office, how was this mirror cursed, how did riz not notice it before?) brennan is not in a rush to explain any of this, either, as he is in na.

2. We know how the scene ends before it starts. We know that there is no good ending, there is nothing that riz can do to stop what is going to happen. Even if we didn’t, there is no magic to lean on, no friends to call that could get there in time. This creature has the jump on him, and he has no context as to how to act or what to do next. He cannot persuade or fight the creature in any way that matters.

neverafter is in such a rush to explain itself and answer philosophical questions, to send the pcs on quests, that it loses the fear and horror almost entirely. It still makes for a very fun season, but I’m not surprised that people find it unsatisfying in that regard

[wispisstillverybored67]

La Follia D'Amore

GAME OVER

SORBET HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY

TIME FOR THE PUNISHMENT!

YOU TOO, GELATO!

Out of all the things I've stumbled upon...

Why does this have to come today?

I wanted to go exploring around the neighborhood since we just moved here (not like the natives know; records are too easily forged). So after having my sister give me the OK, I decided to first check out the studio complex a few ways down from our apartment building. I see it on the way to school, and it's always stark black and empty. So with little Arles Zorro tucked into my chest for her own safety, I snuck inside. I used to sneak to avoid detection to keep up the exciting atmosphere.

Now I'm sneaking around for my fucking life.

About 20 minutes after walking into the basement, some others had also walked in here. I'm on the south-east side of the room where they were, hiding under the sofa (it's a surprisingly loose squeeze). The first one... was what I can only call a madman. Long and lanky figure, wild green hair, but I couldn't discern what he was wearing. This one stood the tallest. Next to/behind him was this, uh... I don't know what to describe it. It looks to be in a full bodysuit, but that's all. I can't see shit in this light that it was flashing from the tape recorder. Between that and the way these two faced the others, they might be recording a snuff film. And as for the content...?

It was torture, plain and simple. Two other men were thrown here, in complete darkness, bound up like shrimps. They seemed to have been doing SOMETHING wrong to have warranted this. But I've never seen them before, so I can't vouch for them. Two men, tied like little shrimps at the market, blonde and blue, faces blown into fear and despair. Hoho... I can sense how despairing they truly are. Hahaha... Once I caught sight of the other two, the captors, they might have said something. All I can make out was one of them calling the other "my love". Must've been from the shrimp schlubs. And then I think one of them exclaimed that the torturer lied to them, or something I can't remember, then one of them got pulled away to the table further in... An empty glass, reflecting this blunt truth. It's telling what's not to be told... They need that mask.

In hindsight, I really should have told Nero what I saw that day. Would it even matter if I did? He wouldn't care. As would I. I might have acted overt with what I saw that night. Nero-chan, I'm sorry, but I didn't think I had to. To die on the battlefield in that empty life is just hell. But it wouldn't make a difference. We all still die in the end. All for nothing. But back to the past at hand.

The madman held up a razor sharp butcher's cleaver looking thing. Then he called something out of his shadow, and injected one of them with something. He jolted upwards, yet flopped downward just as quickly on the table he could not escape from. The little thing holding the tape recorder didn't move from it's spot. Well THAT makes sense. It would be hard to record a snuff film if you're unstill.

And then he started slicing. Oh my!

From the feet up, he worked the blade onto that guy. *sshink!* That's gotta hurt. It's super, super sharp. Again he went, cutting into the guy bound, gagged, and strapped to table, making intensely small pieces as he went cleaving, producing very clean cuts, almost as if he'd done this before several times. A veritable dance of iron he (the victim) somehow didn't die from. And he was acting so calm as he hacked away, too. The victim was emanating blood-curdling screams, howls of fear and despair. I'll never forget the expression and face he made, seemingly constantly warped in fear, tears flooding down his face.

Despair... Were they mafioso? You can only get despair this potent from those punks. I know this, because outside Morioh at least, there's this yakuza, and they spread despair like this... One of my old teachers was a former member of the yakuza. I can tell from his chopped off pinkie finger on one hand. Isn't the mafia the Italian yakuza? Anyway... How could I have sensed the despair radiating from the room? Emotions aren't my strong suit, much less understanding how someone feels when I can't get a good look at his or her face. I only looked at him once, the image is yet still burned into my mind.

What's keeping that schlub alive? Is there even such a thing as something that can keep him alive through that? I pulled Arles Zorro closer to my chest, fearing slightly that whatever noise from her would send us to the chopping block. She's unusually fine with this now... Ever since we got her about a day before leaving Morioh, she hated being touched like this. Uh, actually, maybe it's just because it was Ane touching her like that. Keeping us alive... They seem very strong. Both the madman, and the pair. Strong... Hey, maybe I ought to check them out after this. When the Iron Waltz is done, I'll take my leave and go.

At this point, he was up to... the midsection, I believe. He didn't relent with this torture. Death by a thousand cuts seems to be a nasty way to go out, and whatever he put into him, he's still alive. Bound up extremely tightly like a fish, gagged so he won't scream, and hacked away by a mad doctor type while remaining alive under the knife... What a way to go out. Hey, what happened to the other one? Where's he? Found him.

He stopped crying, only temporarily. He was trembling in his spot. He squirmed away from the scene of the crime. And then he flopped down limply at last, his gag had been sucked in so far down his throat, it looked a bit suggestive. Most likely, he either suffocated from his crying, or he killed himself. At the time, and even in hindsight now, it was hard to tell. It wasn't that hard to do whichever one, either way. "...?!" I squeaked out once his corpse fell closer to me. Smells of cheap cologne, ugh...

"Eh?!" Shit. I think the camera freak saw me. One wrong move, and you're next on the chopping block. Hehehe...

The mad doctor, for his part, stopped what he was doing, and picked up the blonde's corpse by the collar. But only for a moment, and he dropped him once he saw that face. The face of one who wanted only to experience sweet death after all that happened. "How tragic," was what I read from his lips. If you're making a snuff film, it makes sense not to speak, unless it would amplify the experience. You don't want to muffle the cries of the damned, the ones crying for love in hell.

And now it was time to hack away again. Wither wither wither wither wither wither wither wither wither wither. Melt away into nothing. The cold steel is the reckoning for all. Drown in despair. The despair that your partner had killed himself because of this mess. The despair that you can't see him because you're still alive. The despair that whatever the fuck got you punished like this was preventable.

Hacked away, hacked away, careful cuts producing thin pieces. What'll you do with the pieces once you're done? There's the smell of a noxious chemical of sorts from the far east of the room. Ugh, I can only wait to see the end results.

From the midsection upward, he attempted to accept his inevitable fate, but all it did was force him to utter a deafening screech. The screams of bloody murder. A face still drained of all hope, growing deeper yet deeper into the bowels of despair. The shine in his eyes slowly faded as he went upwards, with the desire for death slowly slipping out of his reach, out of his sliced off arms-reach. Slicy slicy slice. Almost up to the neck now!

I couldn't do anything but watch it. Watching the bladework gave me an odd feeling. Something most unusual creeped up from behind. I feel... hotter. My gut is tingling, and I'm a bit sweaty from this, to have to hide like this under a conveniently placed couch. Arle doesn't budge, which I'm even now still grateful for. I haven't felt anything like this in a long while. Even before we came to Italy. Is this fear? ...Or excitement? But what is there to be excited about, within the context of a torture scene? Perhaps I'm just afraid, afraid that this fate will befall me, afraid of the sight itself, afraid that I can't name this feeling washing over me. *shoink!*

He finally got to the throat, silencing the victim once and for all, sectioned currently into 30 parts. Unable to speak, and perhaps even breathe, his face flopped to the side limply, every feeble attempt at fear slowing down to be softer. But the face contortion is the same, one of pure despair.

Wonder what I'll tell to big sis after this? I thought. That I walked in on a modern day lingchi? It's reaching the climax, anyhow.

At last, the victim was complete. Chopped neatly into 39 parts, perfectly split and preserving the feelings of that of true terror. These two men had folded up the table after arranging his bits so that they wouldn't get squished weirdly, then picked up the thing that gave off the chemical stench, and went upstairs to leave. The other's corpse stood alone. This was the end. I had to know what caused this. That was the end of any chance of a peaceful life... But actually, I think the end of that was when Ane met that guy about 4 years ago back in Japan. Despair... If the despair bringers like them can be that strong, I think I'll join them. Yeah. I don't want Ane to end up this way.

______________________________________________________________

I'm stunned, I'm absolutely stunned. That even now, the vivid memory sticks out to me, two years after I walked in on that hellhole. I couldn't confess of this to anyone. Nero, or anyone else in La Squadra, not even Doppio... Suddenly, I'm reverted back to the sofa, some craptastic movie blaring on the TV, Aceto himself was sprawled on my lap. I need to get some air...

"I oughta go-" I hastily said, pushing him off of me. I'm absolutely spent, and I haven't even done anything. So I just blankly stared outside the open window.

"Paulla?" Was all he could say. That's all I could've got out of him, I zoned out for the rest of it.

These crystal clear memories... What good does it do for me?

[shirleyfeeneys]

Meeting Cindy Williams

I am still in utter shock at the sudden passing of Cindy Williams. So I thought it might help me if I tell the story in written form of the time I met her back in 2021.

It was a typical August, well maybe not so typical for me. My mom had been through a major health challenge and I had recently quit my job due to depression and suicidal thoughts. I even spent a few days as an outpatient in a mental hospital because of it. As all of that was slowly coming behind me, my favorite (and nearest) comic con, Planet Comicon, was about to occur in Kansas City, Missouri, a few hours away from where I live.

The guest I was originally looking forward to had cancelled last minute due to COVID travel restrictions (hence why I went as Princess Leia but I’ll mention that more later). But as I looked through the guest list another name caught my eye. Cindy Williams from Laverne & Shirley. Now I had seen Laverne & Shirley once before, the episode with Carrie Fisher which ironically didn’t even have Cindy in it. While the episode hadn’t kick started me into the series back in 2016 when I watched it I remember throughly enjoying it. So I thought I’d watch this show again and see if I actually like it without Carrie Fisher to tide my attention. I tried finding episodes online to watch, which was difficult but I did anyway and eventually found Pluto TV which at the time was only showing select episodes at certain schedules.

I enjoyed the show and decided I would meet Cindy at the con. It was a lovely Saturday morning at around 10:40ish am. I went up to her table. And she was so delighted to see me. As I mentioned earlier I was dressed as Princess Leia, hair buns and all, because of the other guest. I knew so little knowledge of Cindy at the time that I had no idea she had auditioned for the role of Princess Leia. But she wasn’t offended or anything. She genuinely liked my cosplay, and was impressed that I did the hair buns using my own hair, which was pretty long at the time. I noticed she had a Laverne & Shirley face mask, and I commented that I liked it. She offered to give it to me, if it weren’t for COVID safety. This woman was so sweet. If anything I want people to take that away from this story. So sweet, so kind, so caring. She did my autograph, inscribed: “Love, Peace & Happiness to Brianna.” She signed it and asked if I wanted her to include “Shirley.” I did, even though I didn’t realize the picture I had picked out wasn’t just a generic photo of her. It was from More American Graffiti.

Anyway, next it came time to take our photo together. Now I rarely look good in pictures. But this one came out really well for the both of us. It’s been my screensaver on my phone since late 2021. We then said our goodbyes and I told her I would see her later at the professional photo op and her panel. Later at the professional photo op she remembered me, not my name but my face and outfit. And she asked me again what my name was, and I told her. That picture is nice too but the one at her table is my favorite so it is the one I always share.

Later that evening at her panel she shared many anecdotes from her life and answered questions including favorite episodes (she said “Guinea Pigs” here). And she mentioned her upcoming one woman show “Me, Myself & Shirley. From that moment on I was determined to see it, buying tickets to four different shows over the past year and a half that all got cancelled. It just wasn’t meant to be.

My biggest regret from that day was not getting to tell her how much she and Shirley and Boo Boo Kitty meant to me. But I was so new to the show then and didn’t yet know that, so I guess my biggest regret is not getting to see her show and tell her these things. My most recent plan was to go to Austin, TX in May to see her show there. But again, it wasn’t meant to be.

I’ll always remember how warm and kind Cindy was to me. May she rest in peace.

[antis-hell]

whats alla youses favorite photos of yourself?? describe why youse like it so much, and whats accurate about it!

-🎵🤍

I don't want to post the actual pictures(for safety reasons), but I'll try my best to describe them!

Me(anti): I'm pretty sure it was for Halloween last year, but I had my actual contacts in (one green eye, one black with a white dot) and one of our irl friends had done my make-up (including some fake bood on my neck!) And it was just a group photo of all of us all dressed up as different jse egos. It was honestly the most comfortable I've ever felt when I was fronting

Yancy: He has this photo that our friend took randomly when he was out with them of the side of his face while he was chewing an ice cream stick in his mouth. He looks like he's giving the viewer a side eye, and he's wearing a leather jacket that we ""borrowed"" from our friend. Looking at the photo now, it actually does just look a lot like yanc, but without Marks Korean features, obviously.

Darky: He doesn't take many photos, but there's one from last year when we had to wear a suit for a theatre performance that looked pretty similar to darkys suit so he fronted for a little while and took a few pics. They're some of the only photos we physically have of him not looking stressed in the body. And we managed to keep the suit jacket afterwards!

Ray: it's a photo of him in the body laying on the couch with a blanket curled up like a cat that our friend took again. It doesn't look too similar to how he looks in headspace, but he's sleeping like he normally does, and he still has his glasses on. So, in a weird way, it also does? (idk if that makes any sense it's just the vibes line up with how he is)

Marvin: a photo of him wearing a cloak that he hand-made himself. It's not as fancy as the ones she normally wears in headspace, but it was one of their proudest achievements finishing it. And it's just a few silly photos of her wearing it with their cat mask that look VERY much like he does in headspace.

Illinois: Not a photo, but he has a video of just him wandering around on the beach and finding a few places to look around. it's a fairly chill video, and he's not masking as much as Illy usually does because he's out by himself.

This was a fun one to answer! Sorry for the really long answers

-anti💚🗡

[agent-bash]

Do you know why some departments are letting their firefighter's have beards? I thought it was a safety thing.

It's long been something that's been up for debate, how much facial hair really affects the seal of our SCBAs. But a lot of the departments who are dropping or altering their grooming policies are doing so because they don't want to be sued over them like DCFD was..twice.

Now you can pass an SCBA fit test (which we have to do once a year) with a beard, at least sometimes. But there is a massive difference between the conditions of those tests and being in an actual working fire or even doing a search of a building with a gas leak. Things like sweat.

I've had my mask fail with facial hair. I used to be on the side of 'I can pass a fit test with a week+ of facial hair growth so why shave'. I didn't like being clean-shaven, I still don't really like being clean-shaven, so one day, when I was butt hurt about having to shave for my shift the next day I put it to the test. I popped my mask on and ran up and down the stairs of my old apartment building...yeah once the sweat started it did not stay sealed. So, lesson learned there. Hair is just too slick when damp, skin you can at least get some traction. At least that's how it works with mine.

[strawberryfemmesapphic]

WIP. Thoughts?

For the kids who love animals more than people

Prologue

I was nine years old when I learned that purple eyes are not normal. I was nine years old the first time the Hunters came to my house, barging in and knocking over our little kitchen table, the bookshelf that held all of Dad’s books and Mom’s plants.

The Hunter didn’t make it out of the house alive.

I was nine when I first took a life.

My name is Raven Owens, the Third Hybrid in my family. The Cheetah(I know, I know. Weirdly, I have a bird name, but I can turn into a cheetah. We won’t get into the details).

This is the story of how I joined the other Hybrids and how we ended the Hunter organization.

Chapter 1

I summer-sault over a pile of crates, slammed into a wall, and cut my lip before crashing into our hideout. The bell jingles at the top of the door, a feature we never took down because Trixy liked it(to be clear, Trixy is our pet cat if you could call the giant panther that lives with us a cat. She can turn different animals, though, so who cares about labels). Megan looks over at me and immediately goes about checking the bruises and cuts I received from another day of thieving.

“Rav, you can’t keep doing this,” the young woman says, pushing her dark brown hair out of her eyes. Those green eyes always seem full of worry, “I know you think of yourself as the protector or the fastest, but you can’t keep risking your safety like this. What if someone sees you?”

I scoff and shrug off my bag full of treasures I collected, “It doesn’t matter if someone sees me. People know we exist. All that matters is that I’m not caught,” I push past her, ignoring Trixy’s low growl as she lays at Morgan’s feet, and toss Niko a video game as I say, “New too, found it in the garbage.”

Niko looks up from where he’s assembled old Legos, “Who would throw out Animal Crossing? I heard it was amazing!” He rips into the packaging and slides the chip into his console before entering his little video game world.

I laugh a little and turn to climb the ladder to my room but fall off of it when a mouse squirms out of the hole in the wall, scampering across my fingers, making me scream. A small girl with red-ish brunette hair down to her ears appears on the ladder and laughs a little, large brown mouse ears poke out of her head and a white mask is on her face before I can see her bare face.

Sydney.

Syd.

A ten-year-old girl who’s become our spy, thanks to her ability to turn into a mouse. The mask covers her little mouse nose, whiskers, and sharp teeth. Beady purple eyes poke out of her head as she pulls me to my feet while resting her chin on my shoulder, and makes a dramatic sigh when Meg doesn’t even turn an eye to the commotion we make.

Niko looks over, pushing a swoop of hair off of his forehead, eyes catching Sydney’s now pale blue eyes. Our eyes become purple when we change and then back to a normal color when we’re back in human form.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Why don’t I explain what’s happening, why a group of kids are huddled in an abandoned warehouse, and why we can all turn into animals?

...

Years ago, no one can remember how long ago, a group of men went into the woods on a hunting trip and returned holding a baby with fox ears and a fox tail wrapped up in moss. Scientists couldn’t figure out the kid until they finally got some blood and found that there were these things called Changelings, people who were bitten by animals and had their DNA mixed with the animals and could then turn into said animal, gaining that animal’s abilities. For example, I turn into a cheetah so I am incredibly fast, loud, and strong. Syd can turn into a mouse so she’s very fast and small. Niko can turn into an eagle which is useful when on the run, he also has impeccable hearing abilities but has to wear a hearing muffler in his ear at times so he doesn’t burst his eardrums. Ash can turn into a cow which... doesn’t have any obvious benefits yet but we’re waiting. Most of the time, we all try to smuggle information from the Hunters, see if any developments have been made by scientists who are trying to help the Hunters wipe us out, and just overall survival basics.

It’s all going pretty well, especially for four kids and one adult who are constantly on the run from the Hunting Parties that scour the cities we find.

The memories I’m in are cut off when the baggy lump known as Ash walks into the large main room of the warehouse, her fingers only visible underneath her large clothes because of her paint stained fingertips. She looks at Sydney who shakes her head and signs the word ‘no’ to which Ash nods slowly and sits down next to Niko to play video games with him, the faint clip clip sound of hooves on the concrete ground but we’ve all learned to ignore it.

Ash is the quietest of us all. You’d think that means we’d make her a spy, but we can’t. She’s incredibly sensitive after certain incidents before she met Meg which led her to talk so rarely that we all learned sign language for her so we could communicate(this comes in handy when we all need to be quiet while in hiding). Her legs tucked underneath her as she sits next to Niko, the hood of her large hoodie is tucked over her head so we can barely see her pale blue eyes.

Chapter 2

“Ok everyone” Meg begins, having us all sit around her and Trixy, who yawns when Niko sits on her tail but knows better than to growl anymore.

“We need to leave as soon as possible. Some of my friends from the Changeling Association contacted me today-”

“They’ve figured out that some of us are still in the area and plan to set traps tonight” Sydney interrupts, chewing her lip. Since she’s our spy, it’s easy for her to get information before anyone else, even the Changeling Association that has some of the best Hybrids working for them. At this, Meg nods slowly and reaches down to stroke Trixy’s head.

We all look at each other, trading looks that aren’t looks of surprise. We’ve spent our lives running, ever since we lost the people we loved. Ash flinches, voicing what we’ve all feared, “They’re getting closer” . We thought we were safe out here in Georgia during the winter. In the mountains where we hoped no one would look. How wrong we were.

…

An hour later we’re on the move. Five kids and a magical panther making their way through the overgrown mountains of Northern Georgia. Niko has turned into a hawk to get a better look from the sky so Meg carries his messenger bag. Sydney scampers over rocks and roots, anxious to get out of the mountains where it feels like we’re constantly being watched. As our spy, she knows what lurks in the woods. Ash holds onto Meg’s arm who helps her walk. Anyone who doesn’t know Ash would think she’s hurt but she isn't. She just…it’s not my place to say. You’ll see later.

Meanwhile, Trixy bounds ahead, giving us tail twitches and little signs if we need to stop. Over the years we’ve all learned how to read her. A flick of the tail, her whiskers twitching, sudden stops that don’t include usual cat business? All signs that the Hunters could be near.