#because eew no

[teratophilex]

my fucking god am I the only one who DOESNT have a breeding kink here?

[nights-flying-fox]

@zee-rambles 's April Art Challenge Day 6 - Professor

Future Dee doodle that I used a reference to draw during my language class (but now I don't remember the reference, as always)

I think many call him professor because of his coat

[empress-hancock]

of course you're white radfem bitch. die mad that you're a piece of shit

You are 21 and roleplaying anime characters on Tumblr and calling women misogynistic slurs. Projection much?

[i23432i]

i will stare at you unblinking until you either leave or become my friend

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Genealogy, specifically my family’s especially, has been a special interest of mine since I was a kid. I have taken multiple genetic tests and gone through so many family stories and government records. Anyway, where I was going with this was, I got into contact with someone who is related to me on my dad’s side because either ancestry or 23andMe found we were “closely” genetically related. Probably only four or five generations back. Now, they were excited to find someone who was related to them and also clearly into genealogy because their grandparent was adopted and they had no idea who the birth family was. This is especially hard to determine because they were adopted in New York City about a century ago, not great for paper trails.

Now, my problem is that I was happy to help and have tried to find anything on that side around that time, but it’s been several years and I’ve only uncovered the immigrant ancestors from that time and no non-direct ancestors from that period. At least not on that side of the family. This has been infuriating because I live in an entirely different part of the country and my ancestors were pretty quick to move here. There was a brief stint in New York for at least one of them because that lady had to save up money to make the trip out here. You’d think “oh, there you go. A relative who immigrated at the right place and the right time to have a scandalous secret baby” except, the timeline doesn’t perfectly line up. She might have been there for a bit but as far as I can tell there is no evidence that she ever had a kid and that she even stayed there long enough to have one! “Okay” you say “did she come over with blood relatives?” I DON’T KNOW! I don’t know because any leads I’ve found were either never uploaded online (and I’m not taking a trip to New York any time in the foreseeable future, probably not in my entire life) and any possible hints I’ve found online were weak possibilities at best and all behind paywalls! I feel like a failure. Of course she had to have a mysterious grandparent from the side of the family I don’t know as much about. If it was my mom’s side it would have probably been easier with how crazy the Icelanders and their American descendants were about keeping track of that. Then again, it would probably be easier to find out with a family that crazy about ancestry. Gotta keep track so you don’t fuck your first cousin! (That’s not actually the only reason that it’s done but it’s a reason) and my grandma just casually dropped the fact that men had kids with people who weren’t their wives all the time back in the day and it was normal for Icelandic Americans in her community and presumably their ancestors (the things that old people just casually reveal when they find out you’re doing family research about a certain thing. Smh) My dad’s side doesn’t have that.

I’m just so frustrated, I gladly offered to help them when they asked because, hey, it’s a special interest and they are related to the people I’m already trying to learn about, why not! I’ll help. But the one possible lead I had definitely didn’t have a secret kid, it would mean everything else I’ve found just didn’t add up. All government and family info would have to be wrong about the course of events, about the timeline. My next course of action was to look into those immigrants (my dad’s family’s) relatives. Only, those are the people I’ve been running into dead ends for! They have been my most frustrating roadblocks. I have no idea who most of them are and what they got up to. The few I have a little information on aren’t the right ones to be related to my new mystery adoption relative. And almost ANY family on my dad’s side from before immigrating here are more mysterious than my mom’s side. I have little hints but they are vague and limited, while the few records I have found as possible leads are (unsurprisingly) in other languages (weirdly though many were in Dutch when the family in question are Norwegian and Swedish).

I offered to help, it’s a special interest, I love helping with finding things, and yet I have failed this woman. I don’t have the money to hire a professional and when my Icelandic grandparents hired one themselves for that side of the family (another thing they just didn’t mention until something I did reminded them that they had done it) that genealogist was looking online, found a family tree on ancestry that was very informative and thorough, which would be great for learning about my mom’s side, if the tree she had found WASNT MINE! No hate towards her but I feel very awkward at being one of the families new best information hoarders. That isn’t directly related to the struggle to learn how mysterious adoption woman and I am related though. I have failed mysterious several times removed cousin. Something I have had happen to myself and hate doing to other people.

[flowerandthesongstress]

complaints I've already seen about Coral Island, a new Indonesian kickstarter cozy game: the barman selling a ruined dish is an uncalled-for jab at restaurant workers! cats shouldn't hang out outdoors! eew, this woman shouldn't display her pregnancy stretch marks! where are all the kippot! why is everyone in such good shape! preposterous! this partially deaf character talking in caps lock is triggering me! no one in doctors without borders would be that tattooed, this dreadful representation is literal murder! no doctor would forget her paperwork at a library, for that matter! why is a japanese fisherman talking like a scottish pirate, this is inaccurate!

meanwhile in the game: I freed a stone statue from a magical underground prison and he put an enchantment on my hoe. his brother asked me if I liked figs is he flirting. my hippie boyfriend is heartbroken because his bucket-wearing pet duck is sick but shhh watching tv will heal him. last night when I talked to the outdoors cat she mentioned that she has a crippling fear of birds and thinks of getting therapy. a stem academic looks like a kpop idol and is getting enough sleep. he wears his astrophysics degree all over himself like a linguist would have worn alphabet necklaces, just to spite his dad but it's not working why is it not working ah shit it's working. mermaids hired me as a janitor. it's not pro bono I'm paid in diamonds. my neighbor is worried that his shiba inu went back to rejoin the mountain whence it came from. a turtle won't let me pass until I serve her spaghetti. I'm fighting capitalism with a literal scythe. the local blacksmith is asking my opinion regarding a legendary battle hammer and if it's worth the logistics hassle. it's been a year crabs are still dancing in celebration their zeal is admirable but their choreography could use some work. this giant monkey covered in two layers of meta wants to sell me a nostalgic souvenir. I know it because he sent me a polite letter. how many propaganda flyers can I fish out of this pond a challenge. I barged into a local lab and upended a barrel of seaweed over intricate circuitry now my flowers are five percent prettier. the scientist at the lab attached a mermish translator to my diving suit via the power of coffee. hold on I'm doing meal prep for next week let me finish putting ectoplasmic slime on okra

[roboticchibitan]

I name my sewing machines because any large, expensive tool that can get tempermental registers as a Creature in my brain. Sewing machines? Creatures. Spinning wheels? Creatures. Cars? Creatures. My EEW Nano 2, however, is just a gadget and therefore has no name.

[qin-qin16]

cw.: Old dog coded Geno, he is a brat btw, but we love him exactly because of that!

note: Following this headcanon, I decided to post a little more about it! Here it is @vanglaggle

"Your teeth feel kind of smooth," you murmur as your thumb glides over Geno's mouth, lightly brushing against his once-sharp canines.

He doesn't move much — he even seems at ease with your fingers exploring his jaw, poking and sliding over his teeth; or perhaps Geno is just too tired to resist your curiosity and gentle touch.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to keep chewing on those toy bones— eew!" Your hand quickly pulls back as your fingers are coated in saliva, instantly stained with a faint red.

What was once an empty mouth, merely adorned with teeth, is now brightened by a red tongue — short and plump, yet wide enough to cover your hand in a single lick.

And not satisfied with your reaction alone, Geno wore a lazy smile, his mouth forming a line as that hazy dot in his eye socket remained fixed on you.

Wiping your hand on your shirt, you can’t help but let out a huff at his childish behavior. “You’re unbelievable, you know?” All you get in return is a weak chuckle, and before you can respond, Geno begins to move away — slowly, cautiously, one leg heavy without his cane, dragging lightly across the floor.

The frustration that danced on your tongue quickly turns into a bitter taste of concern.

“Where are you going?” You quickly move yourself beside him, matching his slow steps for support.

Geno, as usual, huffs at your question — as if the reason for his sudden walk were obvious. “I’m going to lie down for a bit before dinner.”

You don’t even try to suppress the genuine laugh that escapes your lips. “I guess I’ll keep you company then!”

“And annoy me while I try to sleep? No, thanks.” You might believe his rude words if it weren’t for the little tail wagging happily at the idea; pleased to know he’ll have your cozy presence beside him, soothing the troubled dreams that haunt his sleep.

“Alright, alright, let’s get to bed, old man— ouch!” Geno bites your cheek, those same teeth you thought were harmless now nipping and tugging gently at your skin.

“Don’t call me old man!” he murmurs, irritated, his annoyance growing as your laughter fills the room.

Even though Geno often acted like an old dog, he still hated being called that — but from you? He could tolerate that annoying nickname if that means you never stop smiling at his weird little habits.

[cssammyyarts]

“eew hughie fell for the shapeshifters lies !!” like you wouldn’t too 💀💀💀 like, maybe they’d act a lil off but would you Really think “Oh no my partners a shapeshifter” JUST because they act weird for a moment? your first thought would be to ask “hey u ok ur acting odd..,, :(“ and guess what the shapeshifter (the one hughie encountered) would fix their fuckin act based on wha YOU thought was off. Dude. The shapeshifter can read minds every time Hughie thought Shapeshifter Annie was acting weird they probably just corrected themself.

Bum ass hoe.

he was also recently sexually assaulted too btw?? so like he could’ve just not noticed, too preoccupied in just getting comfort and being treated nicely by who he thought was his gf. God FORBID… 💀💀 victmin blamey ass behaviour.

[deansapplepie]

I would never let you in pain (drabble)

Warnings: period, mentions of cramps, mentions of pain , mentions of blood, mentions of cunnilingus, mentions of dicks, mentions of pussies, Daryl and Reader being silly aka. A normal couple. Nothing Graphic. Minors DO NOT interact, 18+

A/N: you can consider it a second part to That’s the least I could do for ma girl, it was supposed to be all together, but I didn’t feel like it would “fit” together. Just feeling like we need more silly couple content like talking about their intimate parts, fart, burp and other disgusting things. Lol

You felt so much better now that you were all warmed up by him that you could almost forget all the painful cramps you were having earlier. In moments like this you felt that the piece missing in your life was him. If you were thankful for one thing in the apocalypse, it was him. “Thank you.”

“For wha’?” He asked, he was the one that should be grateful for having another opportunity to hold you in his arms.

“For taking care of me and helping me…” he snorted, were you really thanking him just because of this?

“Sweetheart, I would never let you in pain. I’d go down on ya if it meant you’d feel better.” He said bluntly.

“Eew! I’m bleeding. That’s gross.” You scrunched your face at the thought.

“That’s not. Ya wouldn’t say that if I were between yer legs.”

“Daryyyl” you reprimanded him embarrassed when you started to imagine everything.

“ ‘sides that, dicks are gross and you still suck mine.” He wasn’t one to talk about it like this, but he felt entertained seeing your reactions.

“You say that ‘cause you don’t like dicks.” You stated a fact, you were embarrassed as hell, but having your back to him gave you the freedom to feel a little bit at ease. “AND I never said my pussy is gross, just that there’s blood coming out of it.”

“Ya say that ‘cause ya don’t like pussies” he threw back what you said at you.

“Indeed, and you should only like mine.” Your turned to look at him, your eyes narrowed trying to make a face of who was going to be observing him.

“You too.” He replied unable to take off the smile he had on his face by feeling so blissful just because you were joking and talking silly things.

“I do like mine.” You said knowing pretty well what he meant, but feeling like playing with him too.

“I mean my cock.” He said and them he saw the mischievous look in your face and he knew you were fooling him. “Ya’re so lucky I’m nice enough to not tickle you to death!”

You gave a wholeheartedly laugh and earned the prettiest smile from him. And a tender kiss on the lips.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

"omegaverse is only a porn thing and if someone asks what it is i'll just say it's a porn thing and end the discussion there. also porn is gross haha eew so omegaverse is evil i'm gonna bleach my eyes and blow up my computer" 1) girl how do you hear 'there are 3-6 recognized genders and sexes (possibly more) in binary societies instead of 2, and also human's social lives and biology are different, and larger living situations with non-relatives living together are frequently normalized" and be unable to think of any other use for that broad idea. How are you unable to think of any other creative ways to engage with that concept or integrate it into something. I think in general calling something a "___ trope" narrows the scope of it in an unnecessary way. ideas can be used anywhere in any number of ways, not just one. 2) if you go "haha i know what omegaverse is i'm going to hell" then like,, please recognize that sex (and by extension kink) is not a dirty bad thing and the fact that this concept originated in a nsfw fanfiction isn't something that needs to be compensated for or a sign you're depraved or gross. don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with joking around an stuff I just need you to know that it's not actually a problem even if u joke it is, because some people are very genuine about thinking that it's some horrible plague upon the earth that people think about sex in strange ways sometimes. it's like,, fine.

[mayhemchicken]

no “insects under the skin” things, there is one (1) Beetle and it is Big (like...the size of a cat? at least? probably? also it can turn into a person). the beetle does crawl on a guy a couple times but i don’t believe there’s any graphic bug-related horror.

I've never heard of The Beetle until like yesterday, and so far my knowledge is thus:

Racist

Nice carpets though

Perhaps invented the concept of Schlock Horror ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Soooooooo racist

Horny, but in a Schlock way

Probably uses corn syrup for blood even though it's a novel not a movie

Max Racism Quotient Achieved

What I do not know:

Any names whatsoever

Location

Era (Victorian?? Maybe??)

Why is it named after a bug I have specific PTSD needs surrounding bugs and I don't know what's happening here

In conclusion:

Do the beetles (the beetle?) do any "insects under the skin" things?

If I try to find this substack and read this book, Will it trigger a PTSD panic attack because of insect related body horror?

This is a really long stupid way to ask for content warnings lol but it was fun at least

[jarwithmold]

All right guys, hear me out

Because Medic is a man of science, obviously, he needs some illustrations in his work

Since events of game is taking place literally in the middle of nowhere, and even if Teufort does have the possibility of taking and printing photos (they print a newspaper in town so i guess they have a typography or smth like that?) it would cost money, it would take time, all'n'all it's would be a hassle since there is too much pictures need to be done.

Scout, on the other hand, is really good at drawing

So

So, since he's hanging around in infirmary between matches anyway. What if Medic asked him to help him document his researches?

Imagine Medic excitedly talking about his scientific triumph (heh easter egg) about, I don't know, kidneys, or baboon uteruses while holding the subject of speech.

Scout listens, while sketching the organ Medic is showing and he's like: "Ehe-he-eew, Doc, that's gross," while continuing to sketch

Imma off to make a pic on the topic. Kinda hope to finish it in a couple of evenings…

Anyways

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[fbfh]

boy dad!Billy Hargrove x reader hcs

wc: 1k

genre: fluff, parents au, domestic

warnings: brief mention of Neil (and being nothing like him), Billy's a good dad, healthy masculinity, Billy being Billy, so much comfort, reader carried/gave birth to your kids and is referred to as mom once (no pronouns or other descriptions), protective Billy, Billy and Max have a good relationship, Steve cannot catch a break

a/n: thinking about Billy out of the blue again. wow. deeply in my feels and possibly back in my billy era??

@yesv01 @hopefullhearts @littlewinter1917 @thatawkwardlittlefangirl  @Sad-brunnettee @ilikemypolarbear @lubsana @cowboylikekelsey @paris-loves-dustin @girlfriendwhoseawitch @Ronnasey @hxgemxscles @demirunner @cosmiq-cloud @almostjollypizza  @mystic-writings  @babiesimagines @Fictionalcomforts  @lizziebitch33 @urmum-xoxo @legramilis @if-only-i-was-fictional @mrscarolscaramoucheplease

Let me tell you

When Billy Hargrove held his first born son in his arms

It changed his world

All his priorities

His brain chemistry 

It changed everything

He looked down at his son and saw his own big doe eyes looking back up at him

He smiled and saw your smile beaming back up at him 

He loses his breath as he realizes this baby 

This perfect little creature is a mixture of all your best parts

All of his self loathing starts to fall away 

And he realizes how wrong Neil was about everything

This little angel in his hands is pure goodness, pure light, pure…

That’s it

He’s just pure

He’s uncorrupted by all the evil in the world

And Billy must have been like this once too

He’s not going to let what happened to him happen to his kid

His son

The path ahead is strong and clear, and he’s going to do everything Neil never did and more 

He’s going to be the person he needed so badly when he was younger 

He’s going to be a real, good, proper dad to his boy 

He doesn’t really realize how much he’s crying until you lean over to brush away his tears 

You smile at him and he knows you get it

Everything he’s thinking and feeling and realizing 

He becomes this beacon of pure, healthy masculinity 

A perfect set of footsteps for his sons to follow in

Because once you have one baby boy

There’s probably going to be at least three or four more

I’m not going to lie

When he finds out Steve is aiming for six kids his competitive streak would flare up a little

He’d probably be trying to talk you into having six kids too 

All boys of course

You tell him you have no control over that and he just chuckles and rubs his hand over your tummy

“Call it a good guess.” with that smirk that makes your legs shake just looking at him

God

Anyway either way

Billy 1000000% has a whole passel of rowdy little boys that look up to their dad and love you more than either of you knew was possible

I’ve seen a lot of people say Billy would work at a garage 

Which I can totally see

But I think Billy would probably work at a gym

He works out so much he’d make a great personal trainer

Plus he speaks the gym bro language and can flirt the pants off a milf

Which is like 90% of the people going to gyms anyway 

So every day when he comes home from work and loudly declares “DADDY’S HOME” 

He’s met with a stampede of rambunctious little boys charging at him 

When they’re still little enough they cling to his arms and legs and back as he drags them over to greet you too

When they’re older he’s met with enthusiastic cries of “DOGPILE ON DAD!” 

Every single day he greets you with a kiss that reminds you why you married him

And every single day it’s met with loud EEWs 

If you’ve seen overboard

The 1987 version not the remake 

Dad Billy is just Dean Proffitt core

That’s the best way I can explain it

And if you thought Billy was protective????

Now you have like five more of him 

If anyone is giving you trouble 

Especially if you have family that you don’t have a good relationship with 

Before you can even ask them to leave you hear a rumble behind you and some mixture of “LEAVE OUR MOM ALONE” “CHARGE” and “GET THEM”

What follows is a coordinated attack of nerf guns plastic swords and water guns

Among many other toy weapons 

And that’s before Billy even shows up

You think he’s protective now???? Wait till you’re married

Oh my god

Billy would never ever let anything or anyone hurt someone he cares about

But especially not his fucking spouse 

If someone tries to fuck with you they must really have a death wish

On a lighter note the odds of you also having a bunch of equally high energy pet dogs is also very high

And the odds of you acquiring these dogs by Billy periodically showing up with them

Sometimes as a puppy sometimes just one or two full grown dogs

And going “surprise :)” is even higher 

Max is over a lot too

Partially because she just loves being around you and partially because spending time with Billy is actually really nice now

They have the sibling dynamic they’ve both been craving for so long

And all of your boys think aunt Max is the coolest person to walk the earth

She teaches them how to skateboard and helps them beat hard levels of video games

Oh my god and the stories????

Your boys LIVE for listening to their dad tell stories

Stories about how you met, about dorky uncle Steve and how bad he is at basketball (he’s embellishing a little but you’ll let him have this), about all the monsters he and aunt Max and your friends have fought, all the cool stuff you did before they were born 

Seriously, Billy has a knack for raising some of the bravest, most compassionate, big hearted little boys in the world

They have such a healthy relationship with masculinity and what it means to be a man all cause of their dad

He raised them to know that there’s no monsters in the world they can’t fight

And more importantly, none that he won’t fight for them until they’re ready

They never have nightmares

Between how many big loyal dogs you have and who their dad is????

You and your boys have never felt safer and more secure

And all Billy ever wants is for the people he loves to feel safe around him

He sleeps well at night too, knowing he’s taking care of you guys 

That he’s become everything he never dreamed he could be

[eulaliasims]

Round 1 Hill Farm, 1/7

These two are adorable and cannot keep their hands off each other.

Drustan: Eew, kissing!

Okay, fine, you can go with your uncle to the well and carry home buckets of water. :)

Drustan: :(

In my head, Eisu's and Norweni's family share the well on Norweni's lot, since they're right next to each other, but in reality I've made it Elmet's chore to get water. Speaking of Norweni! Drustan loves his auntie very much and constantly rolls wants to do things with her.

Spotted: omg, scandal at the well

Xiang: I seem to recall this being Elmet's chore, and yet here he is not.

The Hill farm has a vegetable garden and a small flock of sheep kept primarily for their wool. Everyone not tending the fields really should be walking around with a drop spindle.

Drustan: I just think it would be nice to have a sibling around to play with, like Glamaer and Gytha.

Xiang: Uh, well, that's not really possible right now...

Drustan: Why?

Eisu: Because the spirits need two different types of essence to form a babe, and your bàba and I have the same kind. And it's not every day that you find another little Drustan somewhere!

Drustan: Hmm. What about if we got another kitten, then?

Xiang: That's a little more doable. We'll see if anyone has any new litters soon.

Drustan might not have siblings, but he does have a passion for science! Between this and his building experiments with his anachronistically colored blocks, his future possibilities seem endless right now.

Elmet, on the other hand... Elmet has had a string of bad luck lately. It feels unending. The wolf bite that didn't kill him but might as well have, the way there's so much to do and nothing he wants, the way everyone he talks to besides his brother to seems to hate him...

Shep: Stop talking to me.

Elmet: Okay. :(

Elmet: I swear, when I brought it up, the fish was THIS big--

Helenet: Excuse me, I'm trying to run an errand, not listen to tall tales.

Same, Drustan, same.

[allonsybadwolf]

Yeah I think it would probably be annoying to start stopping that often if someone was already used to spinning in longer durations before adjusting. But I was spindle spinning (where you have to stop to wrap every two seconds) and then when I started using the EEW I just continued to stop and adjust at small intervals. Not as small as with a spindle but still small 😅

I've never spun on a traditional wheel, but yes I'd imagine it's impossible on a fixed hook situation. Probably the closest you could get is all of the peaks and valleys matching? Which could still be pretty satisfying!

I don't even know what bobbin collapse is 😂😭 it sounds unpleasant

how on earth do you fill your bobbins so evenly? i've been spinning for ages and mine fill functionally, but yours are consistently just perfectly, beautifully even. please share your secrets!

The answer is so simple as to possibly be unsatisfying, but I really just slide the yarn guides on my EEW over a very small amount very often 😂

I spin just long enough to see an edge being raised on the bobbin and then move the guides over, use the pause as an opportunity to check my yarn against my control card if applicable, and then repeat.

When I get to the end of a "row" on the bobbin, I move the guides all the way back over to the other end, so I'm always filling the bobbin towards myself instead of going back and forth (this is extremely useful if you lose your yarn end, because you always know exactly what part of the bobbin you're on because there's a nice line of yarn going from one end of the bobbin to the other under every layer)

It kind of becomes part of the rhythm after awhile, because I move the guides at such even increments, the more I spin, the more I just know it's time to stop, and it just becomes second nature

Filling bobbins like this doesn't accomplish anything but make them look pretty (except in the case of that purple spin where it allowed me to actually fit all that yarn on there 😂) but I do find it exceptionally satisfying, so I keep doing it