#because altare gets to choose whether to be good or evil
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having normal thoughts about the demon king today
#long post#vtuber#holostars#holotempus#regis altare#doppelgänger gave me flour and I made bread#I love writing villains that don't have a choice but to be a villain#do you understand me#the demon king was created to be evil. he doesn't have a choice#and he knows he's going to lose it all because that's how he's been written#and yet he's an evil version... of a hero?#I think he envies altare personally#because altare gets to choose whether to be good or evil#but the demon king doesn't get that choice#he was born evil and he will die evil too#yet he sees altare having fun with the guild and getting the recognition a hero gets#and he's like... why was I born this way?#why wasn't I born in a world where I could be happy?#yes the demon king is selfish and cruel and violent#and he probably wouldn't change if given the choice#but he was robbed of any other option#he is well and truly alone. while altare lives surrounded by people who love him#and the demon king has to WATCH THAT#he has to WATCH his mirror self enjoy life while he rots in his castle#with nameless servants that don't care about him#then the fire prince destroys everything he owns#AND he knows his entire universe is going to vanish after the season ends. because their world is disposable. including him.#ugh. villains who have no choice but to be villains <3
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A recent post and a heated response has caused me to think more about the issue of catholic and jewish interactions. i couldn't understand how or why somebody could compare genocide and evangelization, since the difference seems so clear to me. But a friend helped me understand there's emotional and cultural context that autism makes it difficult to see. Here's what they said about it:
i think the situation between jews and christianity is a bit more complicated than that. it seems to me that the person in that post is carrying some hurt about the antisemitism in the church, which is pretty valid. we can't just say "that's not what the catholic church teaches" when there is in fact a long history of people claiming to be christian but acting terribly towards jewish people. its important to recognize this isn't necessarily an academic conversation but an emotional one
it wasn't that long ago that a commonly held belief was that jews were all collectively responsible for Jesus's death, and should all be blamed for it. the Catholic church has repudiated this, but even that was fairly recent. and a lot of this reflection happened after the holocaust. for reference: https://www.vatican.va/jubilee_2000/magazine/documents/ju_mag_01111997_p-31_en.html and there's a bunch of christian churches who actually STILL have not disclaimed this idea i've heard catholics talk about how all the jews need to be converted before the second coming. and like that is not at ALL taught in theology, but it is a cultural thing. and its important to recognize that people saying these things, even when its ignorant of and flies in the face of church teaching, will still affect how people view the church in a massive way the religious aspect is part of it. but it's also this huge cultural thing and ethnicity thing that has gone on for quite some time. and is still worryingly sticking around in some internet communities. most conspiracy theories are drawing from antisemitism talking points, about evil people being in charge of the global banking system and secretly scheming to kidnap children and use their blood for dark magic. which sounds ridiculous, but hey, qanon is a thing! which is Very Bad i guess i'm saying that i don't think this person is really talking about the theology of the church at all they're feeling attacked and attributing that to the broader culture of discrimination, which like it or not is culturally christian in a lot of places. think of how we get holidays for christmas but it's difficult for jews to get yom kippur off. thats culturally christian, and for people who've been hurt by antisemitism it's going to sting like that's an intentional slight, whether or not it is
i think a lot of the resistance comes mainly from the idea that the jews are going to be "erased." which was a fear back in Jesus's time! because the jews have been historically oppressed a lot! to some, it probably feels like betraying their family by choosing a new religion or choosing a new culture, because of the number of jewish people who were martyred. i don't think its accurate to say the christian goal is "no more jews". judaism has been fulfilled through the coming of Jesus the Messiah. and there are a lot of jewish traditions that can give catholic traditions lots of meaning, like the canopy over the altar (which is from jewish wedding traditions). but i can see why people would feel that way, especially if they've interacted with people who've told them being ethnically jewish is something they need to atone for, and they must abandon their culture and traditions and language to become redeemed.
i think it's usually a matter of broken trust, and feeling like this "good news" is actually just an attack in disguise. a way to silence them. and thats not an issue with the theology, its an issue with christians. and we need to do better to reach out to those who've been hurt.
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Hi, neuxue......If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite “villains” (or antagonists) in MXTX works? Whether it’s a final boss like Jun Wu or more of a side character like Xue Yang. (Whether you want to do a ranking or just write out in no particular order)...Sorry if you've answered this question before....
If I don't mind??? If I don't mind? Please, my friend, you give me an opportunity to talk about favourite villains and I am yours for as long as you'll listen.
Not going to attempt to order them so we'll just go by story:
CQL
Xue Yang - characters who don't realise what they want, or that they've found a way to have it, until the moment when they destroy it!! Who destroy it because on some level they don't truly believe they can have it at all, and because it's easier to lose something when you can convince yourself you were always going to, and that it was your own choice. The whole time-bomb of Yi City just wrecks me.
I'm also generally here for his brand of competence and mercuriality - the knife-edged playfulness that doesn't quite mask a deeper darkness, the tendency to dance just a little too close to the edge with the particular carefree abandon of one who cannot imagine living beyond youth.
Finally... oh man do I even want to try to articulate this? So, he has several traits that often get used as a shorthand for not just ‘evil’ but ‘inherently evil’. Which... frustrates me. But with Xue Yang... yes, he's cast as a villain and yes he loses everything and yes he dies alone and unmourned... but there's a sense of 'it didn't have to go this way'. If the cart driver had been kinder; if his capability had been put to some use other than ‘weapon’. Or that moment in Yi City where he seems to delight just as much in cheating at a silly game of choosing sticks as he does in tricking Xiao Xingchen into killing people. This idea that there could have been another path. (And also, via Yi City, that he is not... inherently unlovable). His story ends in tragedy, but it’s not framed, at least the way I (choose to) read it, as ‘your story can only end in tragedy, because of the way you are’. It gives the option to read it as ‘you are not inherently monstrous’.
(Which then almost feeds back into the tragedy of the first point, because it’s only there in a kind of meta sense: Xue Yang himself? only ever receives the you are a weapon, you are a monster, that is all you can be side of it. Oh man okay I’ll stop here before I get pulled into a whole essay on this because suddenly I want to).
Jin Guangyao - I love a schemer! I love a pragmatist! I love ruthless competence beneath an inscrutable smile! I love characters who will tolerate nothing less than absolute perfection in themselves because they have learned the hard way that it’s the only possible way to survive. Characters who are not exempt from their own ruthlessness, their own cost-benefit analysis. Characters who have learned from their world that happiness must be sacrificed at the altar of survival, and who will do so with heartbreak but without hesitation when necessary. The only way is forward; to look back is to fail, but the irony is they can still never outrun their pasts.
Also he’s another one where there’s such a sense of it didn’t have to end this way. So many points at which things could have been different, so many alternate versions in which his capability could have been channelled towards a different goal, if the goal carved into his bones didn’t have to be survive, in a world that will try to make that impossible.
I love villains and antagonists of all stripes and moralities, but in this instance what I love is a character who doesn’t want to be a villain, doesn’t want their hands stained with blood, doesn’t want to hurt those they love... but they do not see a choice.
Wen Zhuliu - he’s highly competent and wears fingerless gloves; what more do you want from me?
Honestly though, he fascinates me. In part it’s the fact that we just don’t get much interiority to him, and only one exchange of dialogue that really suggests his motives, but we also get these little moments, that collectively build this sense of a kind of... lawful neutral, I suppose? Not even villain-by-necessity so much as villain-by-...debt? loyalty? But he also so clearly has such a strong sense of honour, and I just love trying to reconcile all of those pieces into a cohesive whole.
The other thing that really gets me about him is his extraordinary power and how it’s regarded - especially when juxtaposed with Wei Wuxian’s. In both cases you have a single individual who holds a terrifying and mostly unique power that threatens or pushes the boundaries of their whole society and world. Wei Wuxian commands ghosts without a sword; Wen Zhuliu can extinguish someone’s power with his hands. But, crucially, the difference between them seems to be... that Wei Wuxian is a wildcard; Wen Zhuliu is leashed. And so I have to wonder once again at the strength of that leash, and at what would happen if Wen Zhuliu, like Wei Wuxian, decided to rebel. And in that whole question lives in this really interesting space of... what is it people truly fear? The power? The wielder? That person’s ability to choose? The uncertainty of what they will choose? The possibility of them realising they can?
***
TGCF
He Xuan - I mean the theme here obviously is competence, and He Xuan has a killer aesthetic to go with it, but mostly it’s just... the way his whole character is an exploration of revenge, and the line between vengeance and justice, and the question inherent in the irony of... throwing away the very thing you wanted vengeance for, in order to exact that vengeance.
(And also the whole cycle-of-revenge in doing unto another what was once done unto you, in the process of exacting that vengeance).
I’m just. Unbelievably here for a good betrayal story, and this one has it all! The intimacy! The self-betrayal! The emptiness and hunger!
And while with Xue Yang I love that moment of realising what he wants, or what he’s losing, only in the moment when he destroys it... with He Xuan what I love is that he goes into this, in so many ways, knowing what he’s doing. This is not spontaneity; this is the ultimate premeditation. He knows what he has, in his guise as a heavenly official. He knows, intimately, the person he is betraying. He has given great thought to the how of that betrayal.
(Is it worth it, in the end?)
(After all, he’s still here)
Bai Wuxiang - one of the dynamics that will wreck me pretty much every time is what I like to call ‘intimate enemies’. Enemies-to-lovers can fit under that umbrella, but it’s a broader umbrella than just that. The idea of characters who (either one-sided or reciprocally) know each other so deeply, and can wield that knowledge to wound. The awful gentleness and precision of holding a knife to the core of someone’s identity.
That, plus the identity fuckery in general. The way Bai Wuxiang frames himself as Xie Lian’s mirror, and the way he then reflects and warps and tugs at those pieces of Xie Lian’s self and name and will, trying to shape them in his image, but so gently. The way he talks to Xie Lian! The way he strokes his hair as he stabs him! It’s just so much, okay!
So yeah, a lot of it is that I’m just very into the highkey fucked-up dynamic he has with Xie Lian. But also Bai Wuxiang’s own story hits me in a kind of... if you’ll forgive a Wheel of Time reference: betrayer-of-hope betrayed-by-hope kind of way. That he tried so hard once, only for it to fall to ruin in his hands, and now he watches another try (and fail!) as he once did. And the way he seems to, in trying to mould Xie Lian’s present to his own past, be searching for a kind of... vindication? A confirmation of that inevitability? That of course he failed, that he could never have succeeded, because this is the nature of humanity, and it is not worth saving, and so his attempts weren’t failure.
But the thing with that is: it’s a lose-lose situation. If he succeeds and Xie Lian fails, yes, it gives him that sense of ‘there was never another way, and no point trying to find one’ but is that really... winning? Is finding vindication in despair truly a success? And yet if he fails and Xie Lian succeeds, then does that not also feel like a sword to the heart: that it wasn’t inevitable, and that means he has to come to terms with his own failure and the heartbreak it wrought?
#this also begs the question of 'what counts as a villian'#to which the answer in these stories is: it depends on where you're standing#tgcf#the untamed#asks#thanad-zid#i need a better villains tag
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Hello id love to hear the mianite subtext (if you want)
OHOHOHOOOOO THANK YOU JEM—
I was gonna make it no matter what but yes thank you for the ask i feel Seen 💞💞
*slams hands on table
I dont know if yall have seen Tom’s vods from mianite, theyre pretty long, but they cover a lot of important info for his character.
Basically; Two friends go onto an island and because they had no option but to pick a god, they were forced to be enemies when the gods were on. Otherwise, they were friends fucking around and having fun. Pranks, etc, nothing too harmful. But based on Jericho’s reactions- he knew Tom wouldnt hurt him unless he was forced by Dianite (in the beginning)
Cue episode 4(?) where Dianite pops in for the first time and scares the living shit out of everyone. He chases down Jericho, tells Tom to kill him, and when Tom can’t get Jericho to the sacrifice pit, Dianite scolds him but gives him weapons TO kill Jericho. He’s then told to NEVER talk to Jericho again.
You can literally see the struggle when Jericho is cheering that Dianite is gone and he’s like ‘woo! You dont have to kill me now’ and Tom stands there trying to decide whether he answers him. Basically; he does eventually and gets fucked over for it. He loses all of his items, he can’t kill Jericho, he gets his shit taken away (god items that Jericho got by doing... nothing really) and then because of terrible communication- Jericho thinks Tom tried to blow up his house so he blows up Tom’s (who wasnt going to do that) and they get into an argument, which ends in Tom watching Jericho leave with extreme hatred for who was like. His best friend that morning.
Sparklez comes along eventually and things get worse mostly because after Sparklez, Tom gets stuck with players who better embody Dianite and like chaos and death and killing without cause which Tom doesnt want to do. Example, he and the Dianite team are chasing down sparklez and Tom specifically says ‘Don’t kill Sparklez’ probably to maintain his uneasy alliance and friendship with the guy. And when one of them DOES- Tom pulls the guy away and SCOLDS HIM for killing Sparklez and formally apologizes for him.
Its why when they said Tom was an Ianite follower, I really wasnt all that surprised. Tom isn’t “evil” or likes to fuck people over, Tom is just more of a chaotic neutral type. He’s on the less orderly side of balance, but still not entirely good or bad.
Back to the idea; Tom’s been told to not talk to his friends anymore, his items are taken from him when he disobeys, and he’s still punished a lot by Dianite for absolutely nothing (struck by lightning, more often then not). He’s surrounded by people who CHOOSE to be Dianite when Tom didnt really have a choice in the first place.
So FINALLY when he gets to the end of the whole thing jn the first season, Dianite is just berating the fuck out of him and Tom is struggling to deal with his morality, and then he KILLS him. And the powers of Dianite are, supposedly, gone to Tom who is the new ‘dianite’. And everyone expects Tom to fuckin go off and kill everyone, but he doesnt. He’s not more evil or bad or manipulative, he’s actually just giddy and excited and exactly the same as before. Because A) its a lot of power and thats cool but B) because Tom’s finally free! He doesn’t have to do what Dianite says anymore and even with his power, he’s nothing like the old god.
We can also leap further into assumption and say the reason why Dianite and Mot were in such a good healthy loving relationship in Season 2, is because it shows exactly the opposite of what Tom and Dianite s1 were— abusive, unhealthy, destructive.
And if you WANT to include season 3, we could say the reason Tom makes such an evil looking altar for dianite is because he knows if he doesnt make it look badass, the guy will fucking hate him. But he doesnt really care, because when s3 Dianite says he’s into flowers, Tom is like “ok! What flowers? I can get them for you!”. He doesnt even care dude he just wants to make his god happy for once.
TL:DR— Tom made an exceptionally cool underlying story of escaping an abusive partner (who tries to isolate you, hurts you and your friends and calls it help, and actively forces you to do things you CANT actually do) and actually solved it by killing the abuser, and showing that Tom doesnt continue the cycle of abuse. a narrative we dont often see because its ‘looked down upon’ or ‘impossible’ (which its not).
#long post#asks#mianite#i could talk about this for hours.#season 1 dianite was a peice of shit#and Tom was really just trying his fucking best while constantly being fucked over by the god he worships#all of his stuff was gone ljke. every day because of stuff he got into#dianite always gave him these stupid hard tasks that tom really couldnt do and still be civil#like n ofucking wonder he lost it during the first war in season 1#he was trying to appeal to dianite and not lose his fuckin friends!!!#obviouslly all of this is. like indepth analysis for something Tom didnt intend to do probably#and im making an assumption about some of it but#i think ots been long enough now that i can project my issues onto Tom’s character#this is all /rp btw like. none of this means anything about the actual person#i just like reading indepth into stuff
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Welcome to the Nightmare Game - CH130
**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**
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Chapter 130: The Dream of the Holy Nun (XX)
"Because it hurts too much," Qi Leren replied seriously. "But it doesn't hurt now. It doesn't hurt after drinking the antidote."
"Really, that's good." Su He sighed softly and took the antidote to give to Dr. Lu.
"Please look after Dr. Lu, I’ll go back to find Ning Zhou," Qi Leren said.
Su He shook his head: "Well, you should send Dr. Lu back to the Lord's castle first and I will go to the old site of the Vatican first. If Ning Zhou is in trouble, I’m always more experienced than you."
The ground was still shaking slightly. With the death of Witch of Nightmares, the demon energy she had accumulated for so many years seemed to be going out of control. Qi Leren was very worried that her former companion would be in the former site of the Vatican and regretted that he hadn’t bring insisted on Ning Zhou coming back with him - although he knew that Ning Zhou would definitely choose to stay there just in case - but if Ningzhou met any danger…
"Okay, you go first, I'll be right there," Qi Leren agreed.
Su He smiled at him and said, "Don't worry, it will be over soon."
Qi Leren helped Dr. Lu, who was still unconscious: "Yeah, it will be."
Su He nodded to him with a smile, then turned and walked into the darkness.
&&&
The night wind blew quietly through the branches and leaves and the site of the Vatican, which had been closed for more than 20 years, was as quiet as sleeping in a grave.
Ning Zhou went up the stairs, walking the same steps Maria had taken so many times, and headed for the church at the highest point.
Along the way the earth continued to shake, and it became more and more frequent. The scattered demon energy rampaged under the earth's surface, awakening the sleeping birds.
A gust of wind blew and a large number of dead leaves and fallen flowers swept past Ning Zhou. The eagle's voice came from overhead and it circled and landed, throwing a small piece of blue and white petals in Ningzhou's hair. Ning Zhou picked off the petals. The blue and white petals should have been blown from the Garden of the Holy Tomb. He deeply remembered that the petals had fallen on Qi Leren’s lips as he slept, and the memory soaked in the afternoon sunshine was as gentle as a dream... He touched the eagle's head and moved on.
He had never been here before, but when he walked here, his heart was filled with an unwarranted kindness… and a strange fear, as if this was both his holy land and his hell.
The Witch of Nightmares had died not far away and the memento brooch had fallen to the ground. Ning Zhou picked it up. The one-time trap attached to it had been used up, and the debris and ashes on the ground proved it all.
It was just a simple trick, but sometimes winning is as simple as that.
Ning Zhou touched the ward in front of him. This ward set by his mother still dutifully protected the deepest secrets of the Vatican even after she’d left more than 20 years ago. Although it had begun to become fragile because of the erosion of demon energy over so many years, it had still blocked the footsteps of the Witch of Nightmares.
The field memento was once again raised in front of the enchantment of the Holy Nun. Golden ripples flowed away from the brooch and slowly spread out. The enchantment of the highest church of the Holy See began to blur and finally disappeared.
Further down was the cathedral that has been isolated for more than twenty years.
Ning Zhou looked up at the half of the churches that had been turned to ruins, where Maria had killed the Devil.
The black bird on his shoulder let out a cry and NingZhou turned around. From the distant stairs came the sound of high heels on the stone steps, getting closer and closer.
Someone was coming.
The blade rubbed the scabbard as he pulled it out. Ning Zhou stood on the steps and waited quietly for the person to come. The demon's energy, which was left unchecked by the other, came flooding in from the deep night, full of evil thoughts from hell.
A woman wearing a black veiled hat and a black evening dress walked at an elegant pace, and the evening dress inlaid with pearls and precious stones shone brightly in the night. She pushed back the brim of her hat and behind the black veil was a face with delicate makeup and her eyes flashed with demonic brilliance, which was quite different from the ordinary village girl from that year.
"Long time no see," Isabel nodded slightly to Ning Zhou.
Ning Zhou looked at her with a complicated mood.
Deep in the underground palace, Isabel had volunteered to become a witch of the Devil of Fraud and walked onto the altar. However, after more than half a month, she appeared in front of him again but was no longer the ordinary human girl.
The raging demon energy was fueled by numerous killings. She had become a witch completely.
The most terrible thing was, how had she crossed this closed field and come to him? She couldn't have a field memento, so she couldn't enter Maria's field by herself unless…
"To introduce myself again, I am Isabel, the Witch of Jealousy. At the order of my Lord, I came to compete with you." Isabel, wearing black silk gloves, lifted her skirt and graciously bowed to him.
A holy light shone on the knife and Ning Zhou looked expressionlessly at the Witch of Jealousy: "Ning Zhou, the exorcist of the Holy See, is the one who will kill you."
In the dark and silent site of the Vatican, the power of faith and the power of evil suddenly collided in the void and a raging billow of air broke out, where the trees fell and the stone steps broke.
The witch smiled lightly: "I won't let you pass."
&&&
After settling Dr. Lu in, Qi Leren immediately left the Lord's castle and hurried towards the former site of the Vatican.
Residents who had been transformed into demons had been restored to their original state. After dawn, these demons would end forever. The night watchmen had also restored their human identities. From now on, they wouldn't have to struggle on every night of the new moon - they had been freed, forever.
As long as they got Maria's memento of destruction, they could reopen this field and let the people who had been trapped here for more than 20 years ago leave.
In the quiet night, Qi Leren's footsteps went faster and faster, and at last he started to trot all the way and soon came to the former site of the Vatican, but Ning Zhou had disappeared and Su He was not here.
Shining his flashlight on the road ahead, Qi Leren walked along the steps to the higher buildings.
The ground was still shaking intermittently, so Qi Leren had to be careful with his steps so as not to fall.
The mountain stone path had broken in front of him into a pit with a shocking width of more than ten meters, and the surrounding trees had fallen down. It looked like there had been a fierce battle here and Qi Leren’s heart went into his throat. Judging from the trees, this was not a remnant left by the demon invasion more than twenty years ago, but was fresh. Although it wasn’t clear whether Su He or Ning Zhou had a conflict with people here, there must be danger ahead.
The space seemed to be distorted ahead, and the deep darkness could not be illuminated by the flashlight. There were no figures, no sound, only pure darkness, frightening and disturbing.
The road was also broken and the Qi Leren hesitated, circling another stone staircase, and soon he came to the cathedral at the top of the hill.
Under the starry sky, this broken church was still majestic. The round stone terraces and all the stone pillars along the road have been broken, but even so as he passed through, he found that these broken walls still exuded holy and solemn beauty.
Along the way, there were all kinds of angel sculptures, some having lost their heads, some having had their wings cut off, and some even having only their legs. They surround the center of the square where there was a disk with a diameter of four or five meters, which seemed to be the base of some giant sculpture. However, there was no statue that should exist on this base, and there was no statue wreckage around it. It was like it had disappeared into thin air, making this group of angels around it extremely lonely in the night.
Going further, half of the church had been destroyed. The front hall was almost completely destroyed. Even the dome had disappeared. After the wind and rain, it had become covered with weeds and shrubs. Qi Leren walked carefully on the weeds, passed through the rows of stone pillars, and came to the stone door of the main hall.
These were two doors that could be pushed away from the center, almost ten meters high. The exquisite reliefs on the doors had been covered with moss, but it was still faintly clear that the reliefs were about the magnificent scenes of wars between angels and devils in heaven.
Behind this door, what could be there?
Qi Leren's hand had been placed on the door. His heart beat faster and his breath was short. He retracted his hand and adjusted himself.
[S/L Data], [Rain-Day Clothes] and [Primary Fighting Skills] have been equipped.
If there was a battle later and S/L skill entered cooldown, he also had the [Countercurrent Sand] item. This exquisite hourglass item could reset the cooling time of one skill card at will. If he still couldn't defeat the enemy by then... He also had the Easter Egg.
There was no need to be afraid, the Witch of Nightmares who was polluting this field was dead. If she still had allies, they should have stopped him on the road.
The ground shook again and this time it felt stronger than before, as if the church was the source of vibrations. What had happened inside, and what would happen if the earthquake continued like this? He couldn't wait any longer…
Once again, Qi Leren put his hands on the cold stone door and pushed forward hard.
Save completed.
To his surprise, this giant door was not as heavy as he imagined. Under his touch it opened almost automatically, fresh air swept forward, his flashlight lit up the marble floor, and Qi Leren looked at the starry sky exposed by the huge collapsed wall of the church. He took a step toward the darkness ahead with his dagger.
A light suddenly lit up in the deep shadows, as if lit by the hand of God.
The darkness was dispelled and the light in front of him became more and more bright until finally it was as bright as day.
Qi Leren looked at the temple in front of him for a while in wait, just in the deepest part of the hall. A huge Maria held a sword high, piercing the flesh of a ferocious roaring black dragon, crucifying it in front of a giant cross.
This shocking scene showed the tragic battle that had occured here many years ago, but this was not the reason why Qi Leren was stunned. After a moment of shock, he looked at the throne belonging to the Pope under the huge cross.
On the throne decorated with reliefs and gems, Su He leaned on one hand and looked on at him with a smile.
His expression is still peaceful and gentle.
Except for those red, evil eyes.
-----
Editor’s Notes: You didn’t think it would end that easily, did you?
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So, 2020, amirite? Surprisingly, turned out not as creatively barren for me as it seemed. I published 24 fics, including two longfics and two collaborations, as well as two tiny original drabbles. Together, I published over 84,880 words this year, which, I’d say, is pretty neat.
Here’s a round-up of all my 2020 fics (under the cut)
Advent Calendars Are For Children - dean x lisa | 1104 words; G Lisa buys advent calendars for the kids.
A Matter of Heart and Mind - dean x cas | 32109 words; M Cut off from Heaven after closing the Gates, Castiel becomes human. But to Dean, he also becomes something else—something Dean couldn’t admit to himself until now: the love of his life. The feelings are reciprocated and, for a while, things are good. Until the headaches begin. In true Winchester fashion, Cas pretends he’s fine until he can pretend no more. In true Dean fashion, Dean’s worried. Because the headaches might be something more than a migraine. Whether it’s a human sickness or something of a more angelic nature, they have to figure it out before Cas’s time runs out.
In The Empty - dean x cas; cas & benny | 1152 words; G The Empty promised Castiel sleep. An endless, peaceful slumber. So why are Cas’s eyes open?
Scripted - gen; dean | 635 words; T Dean always knew he’d go down swinging.
Heaven and Heaven - gen; dean | 1478 words; T After dying, Dean goes to Heaven—one he shares with Sam. It only sounds good in theory.
One Last Dance - dean x cas; cas x kelly | 2637 words; T This is not how Dean imagined Castiel's wedding. They were supposed to be standing at the altar together, then dance the whole night through. But Cas made his choice and now, the only thing Dean wants is one last dance.
The Samhain Feast w/ @kitmistry - dean x cas | 5840 words; T The end of the harvest. The one day the veil between our world and the otherworld is thinnest. The day when a witch coming of age can try summoning and binding a familiar. The Samhain Feast is a tradition so ancient, no one remembers how it started. Dean has attended every single one of them since he was old enough to walk, watching witches meeting their familiars and bonding with them. This year, it's his turn to make an offering. And hope one of the familiars chooses him.
Winchester's Haunted House w/ @kitmistry - dean x cas | 3417 words; T For the Halloween evening, Dean turns his new home into a haunted house for neighboring kids. But once all the guests are gone, is when the real haunting begins.
Tunnel - dean x cas | 13567 words; E An injury during a hasty job makes Dean, Sam and Cas split up in the underground tunnels. Confused and trapped in a maze of walls that seem to shift at the will of something evil, Dean's frantically searching for his loved ones.
the brand - dean & emma | 921 words; T Emma doesn't hate the scar on her wrist. She just wishes it wasn't there.
Holding On - dean x cas | 956 words; T Dean saved the Earth and all it got him was getting buried six feet down in it.
On the Road Again - claire x kaia | 653 words; T Life's been good since Kaia came back. But Claire has to go back to hunting sooner or later.
rot - gen; dean | 475 words; T Dean still remembers the fetor of rot that filled his casket.
for good - dean x cas | 829 words; T Cas made a deal with the Empty, and he never said a word.
Dean Doesn't Dance - dean x lisa | 1619 words; G Lisa's sister's wedding is coming soon, but Dean's reluctant to test out his new dancing shoes.
absinthe - dean x cas | 289 words; T Once upon a time, Castiel's world became green.
Third Time's a Charm - dean & jack | 3706 words; G Jack's third birthday goes a little different than he hoped it would, but it's not a bad birthday at all.
Back into her Arms - dean x lisa | 5673 words; T After a year of constant combat, Dean escapes Purgatory, at last, and he can finally come back to the family he was torn away from. When he finds himself at Lisa's door, he's covered in dirt and blood, with a collection of new scars and a bushy beard hiding the uncertainty on his face—a whole year away is a damn long time. But his fears melt away when Lisa welcomes him with all the love she can give and, with her tender touch and a lot of soap, helps him feel that he's safe again. He's home.
Be My Valentine - dean x lisa | 859 words; T Dean surprises Lisa on Valentine's Day.
shallow grave - gen; emma | 277 words; T A bullet can't kill an amazon
Last but not Least - gen; dean | 810 words; T Dean's Birthday has always been just a day like any other.
Regarding the End - gen | 808 words; T Sam got a glance at the future that won't come to pass. There's something about it that doesn't sit well with Dean.
Out with the New - dean x cas | 3616 words; T They say no one who tried to retrieve the Leviathan Blossom ever came back. But that doesn't stop Dean and Cas from trying. Soon, Dean finds himself facing another shocking turn of events that makes him question his loyalties and his long-harbored feelings.
Countdown - dean x lisa | 600 words; T At a New Year's Eve party, the big countdown sneaks up on Dean.
No, Come Back! - og; wlw | 529 words; T
That’s The Easy Part - og, wlw | 321 words; T
#destielfanficnet#writersofdestiel#destiel fanfic#deanlisa fanfic#dean fanfic#my writing#writing masterpost#I hope all the link works lol
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NaNoWriMo #03
That was supposed to be angstier, and yet... Oh, well... there’s a whole month for me to write some real good angst. (Any comment or idea for future parts is so very welcome, that goes without saying. I may be really slow, and stray from prompts, But you’re gonna have my endless love. Even Though most this month prompts are on Mingjue and Zonghui.... and I’m not sure many people ship them...) aaaaahhh anyway! Day: 03/11/2020
Prompt: Ritual Sacrifice
Ship: None
Word Count: 2234
Qinghe was a cursed realm, every other sect always said that and despite loving it even the Nie sect living there had to agree.
Every region had their own legends made to scare misbehaving children. “If you don't go to bed, the wood spirit will take you.” “Eat everything or the howling demon will come for you at night.”, for some reason it always worked up until a certain, varying age. Then one day those children would learn that the spirits and the demons didn't go after misbehaving children, but after everyone they crossed their path with. “be careful when walking at night.”, their parents' words turned into, instead of the little stories to scare them. The Qinghe children never fell for any of those stories, not even the scariest, most gruesome, other children would tell. But they had some stories of their own.
“there are demons living in the mountain.” Nie HuaiSang said one night in Gusu, his two friends listening close to his story. “Sometimes they get hungry, other times they get angry at the heaven's for having been banished there and they walk down into the woods and into villages.”
“And they take the first born!” Wei WuXian ended, like he knew the story already, well, that was how most legends went after all, but Nie HuaiSang scoffed.
“No. They roam and roam. They destroy and, yes, they kill. So the Elders choose someone pure and just, and this person gets sacrificed to the demons. It is said, - He lowered his voice just a bit. - that this will grant that person's soul immortality because of their selfless sacrifice. I don't really believe that, but the demons leave after the sacrifice, their thirst for blood satisfied.”
Jiang Cheng frowned.
“It doesn't sound like a story…”
“Because it's not.” Nie HuaiSang said. “Qinghe is guarded by demons.”
In truth Qinghe wasn't cursed, not in the proper meaning of the term. The unclean realm was a fortress built as a last defense, circled by mountains and distant from the rivers, the first place most demons would encounter when they descended, and the Nie sect had, for many years, perhaps even centuries, protected the region, all the little villages and the civilians. It was an honor, the elders said, to be born in that family.
“Honor?” HuaiSang asked. “If there's something cursed in Qinghe that's our blood.” And in truth his older brother couldn't help but agree. It was almost like they were personally connected to those demons. Nie members never lived long. But they've never been sacrificed either, bad luck, Elders said, to rob them all of their best protection. At least they were safe from that fate.
Or so they thought.
The demons were led by a woman. Everyone knew that but not many had ever seen her, she left the mountains less times than the rest, older and more used to surviving the blood lust the others experienced.
She was scary, hideous even. Like any demon. She walked among men many more times than people thought, able to change and look like them, she even let some of them try to court her for a day before disappearing. She didn't like to deceive them and, much to the other demons' surprise, she even grew fond of the people of Qinghe.
That didn't stop the call for blood, she still was a demon, a beast. Human souls was what kept them alive, and she liked that life.
“Xiao Nie.” A voice greeted Nie MingJue, coming from the air around him, he was sitting cross-legged in the middle of his chamber, busy in meditation.
“Mysterious voice.” He greeted back, the tiniest smile appearing on his face. “Coming to haunt my meditation hour again?”
The voice laughed and didn't answer him.
“Well, since you're here, - MingJue said again. - you could be helpful. That song you sang last time. It was really calming for my mind, would you mind if I asked you to sing it again?”
And she sang.
It wasn't a language Nie MingJue was familiar with, foreign and yet calming, he couldn't make out the words, nor try to learn them, but the voice was now a constant in his evening meditation, and for some reason he couldn't explain, Nie MingJue trusted that stranger's voice, he had for years by then. Every night she talked to him, she sang and she taught him, she guided him through meditation.
“We'll meet soon, Xiao Nie.” She whispered that night when he finally fell asleep.
Nie MingJue never talked to anyone about that voice, part of him was convinced it was a trick of his mind, the sickness getting hold of his family's mind, maybe that was the beginning. He was still too young to die of qi deviation, despite having had some before, but maybe he was starting to grow sick too.
One night the demons came down. From the mountains, converged silently as ever in the streets of the unclean realm, people shut the doors and windows, they hid in the safety of their homes and prayed.
A demon walked forward in the courtyard and everyone bowed more or less gracefully.
“In one week from now I will return. - Her voice was like melted metal. - bring your sacrifice to the altar and you all will be safe.” Then she turned and the crowd of demons opened to let her pass before following.
No one noticed how Nie MingJue's eyes went wide as she spoke. The familiarity of the sound merging with the voice singing to him. She was a demon, he reminded himself, she can use any voice she wishes, maybe everyone hears a different voice, someone they like or find comforting… Maybe--
“You will have to meditate without me for this week, Xiao Nie.”
He gasped and attracted the attention of the elders and his younger brother.
“Da-ge?”
“Sect Leader is everything…”
“Yes.” He cut them short. “Do what you need to do.” He turned and retreated to his chamber.
Despite the warning he waited for the now familiar company but she didn’t come. Nor she did the following day, or the one after, just like the demon said.
It was strange. Him, Nie MingJue, born and raised in the Unclean Realm, in a Sect that gave sweat and blood to keep the world safe from demons, he who now was leading said sect, he was wishing to hear that voice in his head. A demon’s voice!
“She had been kind to me.” He would try to justify himself. “She never harmed me in any way. She even guided me through meditation.” He said aloud once more, just to himself. “Even Baxia is quiet with her.” So she can’t be too evil, or his Saber would make sure he knows.
Meditation was leading nowhere during that silent week Nie MingJue realized, he got so used to her presence and her voice that the silence was even more distracting, there was no point in trying.
“After this week everything will be back to normal.”
He wondered for a moment if it would actually be, or if knowing would make meditation different. “She’s not evil. I feel it.”
He would ask for her name, next time, so that he could properly greet her. One leader to another.
“It’s the obvious decision.”
“But… He’s a Nie.”
“He’s useless. The Sect will be much better without him.”
“The Sect Leader will oppose.”
“Ah! Let him talk, that child. He acts all big and strong and what he is in truth? An overgrown boy.”
“He still has the final word.”
“Oh, but don’t worry about that, he will understand our reasons. More and quicker than you.”
“But…”
“Sect Leader Nie. It’s time.”
The Elders gathered in the council room, before them Nie MingJue sat behind a desk, Nie HuaiSang stood by his side, anxiously shifting from one foot to the other. Everything would end in a couple of hours and for at least six months Qinghe would be able to forget the demons and their blood sacrifices, families will sigh in relief and him and His brother would pay a visit to the family of the chose sacrifice. Then everything back to normal. Why did he feel so anxious then? What was that fear crawling in his chest and wrapping cold fingers around his heart? He swallowed.
“So? - Nie MingJue asked. - Who is the one?”
The Elders spokesman lifted a hand without speaking, his finger pointed straight at Nie HuaiSang.
“Wh— What?” He managed to whisper, mouth suddenly dry. Nie MingJue looked back and forth between his paling little brother and the Elders wondering when they all went insane.
“I thought the rules forbid a Member of the family to be given in sacrifice.”
“There are certain… reasons that would make the rules bend. - The man explained and he almost sounded valid, except he was too mechanic not to have studied beforehand those very words. - The Queen herself came here, we can’t simply offerer a farm girl or a young boy. We need something more.”
“Then find something more.” Nie MingJue growled, two soldiers moved to grab HuaiSang but immediately stilled as Baxia flew from her sheath in front of them, trembling in rage.
“Sect leader, you must understand.”
“Find your more. And I’ll find a way to stop this blood madness.” “I will talk to her, she will listen, I can find a way that will suit both, I… I’m turning my back to the rules of my family…”
“There is no more time. He’s the best candidate, whether you like it or not, Young Master. He’s no use to the Sect anyway.”
“Da-ge!” Hands grabbed Nie Huaisang’s arms and dragged him out of the room to get ready. Soon Nie MingJue was left alone. His brother, his only little brother sentenced to death and he could do nothing to avoid it.
Or… No, maybe he could.
He didn’t have much time before the sacrifice ceremony start, but he had enough.
Dismissing the usual robes to the ceremony ones was fast, finding the golden jewels he had laying around a little slower, he never wore them much. Making the braids, that took him way longer than expected, but in the end the result wasn't as bad as he feared, white and gold beads shone under the lights of the candle, barely a shadow of golden make up over his eyes. HuaiSang would complain that his style was too plain, that he needed more colors and details, something red perhaps. But HuaiSang wasn’t there. He threw a cape and covered his head with a hood before leaving the room without turning back. Baxia rattled for a moment in her sheath then went still, he trained her well, Nie MingJue thought, she understood. He asked for her forgiveness, but her voice was silent.
The demon’s Queen was clothed in gold and red, standing above the silvery white altar and waiting, far more patient and calm than all the other demons and spirits.
“Bring him forth.” Nie HuaiSang almost tripped as strong arms dragged him toward the altar, tears streaming down his face; that shouldn’t happen, he was a Nie, He should have been safe, he—
“Stop!” Nie MingJue’s voice ringed through the crowd, he walked ahead, he tried to look fearless, glad that they couldn’t hear his heart hammer fast against his ribcage. “I will go. I will do it.” He turned to look at the Elders, daring them to stop him, they wouldn’t, he knew it, they couldn’t risk of being accused to go against their Sect leader, no matter how young he was.
“You can’t! Da-ge, you ca—” HuaiSang ran to him grabbed his robes and pulled at them weakly. “You can’t. I… I don’t know what to do…”
“Oh, but you know, HuaiSang. - He said smiling. - You’re far better than what they all think, you’re strong and capable. And you’re going to be a great leader for Qinghe. Listened to them, and then ignore their words because you know better.” He pushed him back lightly. “You have it in your blood as a Nie, you will know what to do. When it’s time, it will be clear.”
He kneel on the altar and let the outer robe fall on the ground, looking up and meeting the demon’s eyes, she looked almost surprised, definitely intrigued by that change. Maybe a little saddened too, or perhaps it was the candle light giving MingJue that idea. Why should she look sad?
“Would you mind if I ask you something?” She unsheathed the silver dagger and teared open the robe in a swift movement, the blade briefly tangling with a golden necklace. “Your name. - Nie MingJue continued, unfazed by the weapon and by his fate. - I was going to ask the next time but there won’t be a next, so…”
She leaned closer, pure white hair falling to cover her face, she hummed a song Nie MingJue heard many times over the years during meditation, but for the first time he understood a couple of words. “Oh, Sweet soul of mine.” The dagger went through his heart and he gasped , blood trickling down from his lips on the altar, he felt himself fading, his brother’s voice broken as he called him, and then… then he heard her, and it was like he had always known.
“Baxia.”
#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#baxia#demon baxia#tw main character death#ritual sacrifice#the untamed#cql#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#mdzs fic#fanfic#nanowrimo 2020#angst collection in cultivation#aki writes
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5 Questions for Writers!
5 Questions for Writers
I got tagged by @kunstpause, it looked like fun so figured I’d go for it! THANKS TO KUNST!
Tagging @wouldyouliketoseemymask, @nilim, @azwoodbomb, @peregrineroad, @frostmantle, @autumnslance, @strangefellows, @redbud-tree, @nozomikei, and @rivenroad. No obligation to anyone but full permission to steal granted to anyone else who might like to. I’ll literally be delighted if you pick this up spontaneously and blame me as an excuse lmao.
1. Do you have a favorite character to write? Who and why?
2. Do you have a favorite trope to write? Or one you want to write?
3. Share your favorite description you’ve written?
4. Share your favorite dialogue you’ve written?
5. Scene you haven’t written, but want to?
I made long answers so have a cut!
1. Do you have a favorite character to write? Who and why?
It depends heavily on what fandom and where I am mentally, but I’ve figured out I tend to love writing angsty lameass dudes with blonde hair who are prone to doing really silly things despite taking themselves entirely too seriously. Honestly, I have a pretty huge track record at this point. Harvey Dent, Vexen, Dmitri, Lahabrea, probably more besides. Every one of them fits the right balance of lameass to angst. I like seeing them grow and find fulfillment as people and they are very very cute while still having an edge of badassery and cleverness. Also they’re funny.
Lahabrea is my favorite at the moment, and him reaching that position is an accomplishment considering how stiff the competition is in FFXIV. Loser tricked his way to the top while I was busy laughing at him.
2. Do you have a favorite trope to write? Or one you want to write?
I really, really, really love redemption arcs and people recovering from fucked up experiences. Latter case especially I love seeing characters in those situations successfully connect to the people and world around them, especially if they get to grow together with a partner. I also LOVE “hero saves the villain and villain takes it to heart”.
(You may be sensing a theme here haha.)
There are a few reason these concepts resonate with me, the first being I think they’re really hopeful, inspiring, and something I always wanted to see growing up but rarely did.
People fuck up in life. People get hurt in horrible ways that bring out the worst in them. Sometimes when that happens they dig themselves deeper and deeper into ugliness. The more a person’s bad side comes out, the more hopeless it can feel. And for mental illness especially I’ve found this can be a major issue.
Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has flaws, but I think there’s something really significant in seeing someone who has hit rock bottom, who can no longer imagine a way out, get offered a hand for support and take it. While recovery and redemption (not synonymous of course) ultimately need to be carried by the individual struggling, I really can’t understate how important it is to know in those situations that you’re not alone and someone believes in you.
I think a big part of why this theme is important to me is because mental illness, both genetic and due to trauma, is something unbelievably difficult and painful not only for the sufferer but those around them. The most mentally ill characters in fiction tend to be villains, and are disproportionately more likely to be suffering severe trauma. It frustrated me since I was pretty young to see over and over again cases where a mess could have been avoided if there was any support system in place.
Seeing compassion and connection given that kind of power means a lot to me, as does recognizing that villains are people before they are villains. It’s also very reassuring in the sense of “If this person fucked up that badly but still tried to better themself, I can too. And odds are I’m also worthy of love and compassion, even when my issues make things harder for others. I just have to keep working to improve.”
3. Share your favorite description you’ve written?
Eff.
Straight up I think I’ve written too much to have just one favorite description. It’s been a lot of years and I have hundreds of fics and I’m lame. So I’m going to put a few of my favs.
Anytime there’s a gap in block quotes it’s a different section within the same fic.
22 - A Batman Fanfic
He trembles beneath the weight of their expectations but his smile never fades flashes before cameras microphones under his nose crowds screaming questions bleeding together he answers like clockwork the District Attorney who must bring justice to us all paying tribute to false idols with golden hair and silver tongues we the people bow down in worship to this guardian of the law with words and deeds I believe in Harvey Dent so he swears in hallowed halls to bring prosperity to smite the wicked to damn the criminal with authority invested in him by Gotham’s dutiful children and himself.
***
On the precipice of victory we stand united our voice raised like a torch like a spear like a golden arrow against the beast of Lerna we are gods and monsters we are so much more than good and evil we are order in the court cauterizing corruption our head held high and mighty manifest in Harvey of the doubletalk Harvey who writes himself into the fabric of Gotham’s history Harvey who will not bend before the Roman we command you the unworthy we condemn you the unrighteous we will not be merciful and you will fall before our eyes.
***
I am Dionysus divided at the altar of Tyche O Fortuna O Fortuna give me guidance in the light of the moon you dance sacred silver dollar I see and obey the wax and wane your whim Wheel of Fortune the card I am dealt your servant your slave venerated puppet of flesh blessed is your wisdom bestowed upon I am your disciple wine-mad twisted chanting your word becomes law holy splendor against gavels desecrating your name defiant in denial extend your will through me and we shall strike the innocent enlighten the ignorant or spare them all for now.
Doppelganger - A Spider-Man Fanfic
She asks him to tell the story of himself, and like Scheherazade he begins anew each day.
As with many other things, this comparison is imperfect. The Ravencroft Institute is hardly a palace and neither of them could pass for royalty. She sits in a chair across from him over a carpet the color of sawdust. Her walls are lined with insects pinned on display. Not many butterflies, quite a few beetles. On a bookshelf Dmitri sees The Metamorphosis nestled between non-fiction texts more relevant to her profession. He thinks maybe it's an inside joke she has with herself, but doesn't say so.
He's received an invitation to call her Ashley instead of Dr. Kafka and doesn't know whether to accept. It might be to make him more comfortable. It might be something else. In her late fifties Kafka is built from delicate features, and he suspects the lines around her eyes mean they crinkle when she smiles. Short black hair, beige suit, only jewelry a pair of diamond stud earrings. Dmitri thinks she looks like a mother, but not his.
Her weight sinks into leather, darker than the floor. The couch he rests on matches. He finds himself leaning forward with one elbow propped on his thigh, the other locked in a cast suspended by his neck. There is something reassuringly empty in the gray fabric of his uniform, cheap and utilitarian and harmless. Dmitri’s wrists are thin, but then he's lost a lot of weight recently. He probably wouldn't be able to run as fast as he used to, but then circumstances would be the same anywhere he went so that really doesn't matter. His espionage days are over. His free arm is shedding in flakes but at least his skin is dry. Clean.
Dmitri no longer looks like anyone, unrecognizable to himself. A face without much in the way of edges, short nose. Weak chin. Mismatched eyes that shift between green and blue and brown and every other natural hue as moments pass into minutes pass into hours. Dark blotches interrupt his forehead and chin. They will peel in new patterns across a span of days. For the most part though, he is pale enough to trace veins where his body seems on the brink of spilling out.
It's been a while since he shaved his head and the hair that grows back is almost foreign. An unruly mess of black, blond, brunet, and red—strands as unlike in texture as anything else. The mask that made him Chameleon was white plastic embedded with hardware. Left deformed after trying to resemble others in flesh too many times, it allowed him to duplicate any face, any body he could remember. More than holograms, the most complete sensory illusions technology could perform.
Without it, Dmitri feels stripped.
When Kafka looks at him she’s receiving constant signals and missing none of them. The moments he needs to turn away, flat monosyllabic turns of phrase he chooses or resorts to or blankly accepts as his own. It doesn’t have to be this way. It isn’t comfortable and he doesn’t even trust it’s not calculated. But she’s going to notice no matter what he does at this point, and lying about it doesn’t do anyone much good. They both know why he’s here.
***
“We were poor. We worked hard to keep ourselves fed and clothed and less than an embarrassment. I probably could have worked harder. Mother,” he begins before stumbling over himself.
The story he’s telling isn’t hers. Whatever else she was, Sonya Smerdyakov wasn’t Mrs. Bates. He remembers her voice as the beginning of an echo, forever following someone else’s lead.
And so he followed her.
She was bright like a light going out. She was gentle without being kind. Her fingers were short and delicate and she touched him as little as possible. He found her attention in the way she avoided his name.
***
In the privacy of his room, Dmitri began talking to himself.
Celebrities. Teachers. Children. The flat, steady rhythm of his father’s voice. The words and intonations favored by mother. Sergei’s laugh. He lost himself in a fantasy of conversations, strode through space to mimic confidence he didn’t feel, flashed teeth in front of his mirror like other people.
Once, Dmitri raised his voice. And when his older brother came, eyebrows knitting in confusion, he found himself full of stammered explanations, hands fumbling at his elbows, stumbling over his tongue to make sense of it.
Just making stories for himself. A game with no ending. That was all.
***
He would have died in that town under the eyes of speechless parents. Dmitri remembers the confusion that took his peers when he found a job for people who spoke for themselves. They thought he might be growing up.
He could lie. And when he began he understood it would always be a game with no ending.
Dmitri lost himself in a fantasy of conversations with real people and a voice that didn’t belong to him.
They asked a stranger to sign their yearbooks without even realizing it.
And then he was eighteen, and he left to continue elsewhere.
He didn’t announce his departure.
From Umbra - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic
It was probably a dream.
Lukewarm water crept down his throat, nearly making him choke. A skin pressed to his lips, insistent. He coughed, and for the first time there was moisture enough for resistance.
The face that obscured his vision was shrouded in white cloth. Cenric found he couldn’t focus on it. Mismatched eyes, one light and the other dark. Impossible to say if blindness caused the inconsistency.
A string of shells dangled from the figure’s neck, rattling gently. The skin pulled back for a moment. Careful. Patient.
It returned only once he'd grown quiet. Cenric drank for as long as he could. Impossibly, a great deal remained by the time he relinquished his hold.
There wasn't enough of him present to say thank you. Cenric barely registered being dragged, being carried onto a cart. Awareness was altogether gone by the time they started to move.
***
…to the blessed traders who enrich our lives we’re bound to pay with our lives in turn aether born fire-walker your will sees us to rest we entrust ourselves to your sight forged of oschon for peace and prosperity and an ending you do not weep for father azeyma lives in the earth with you her fan brings no breeze the air is hot and thick and breathless your domain a silent place that does not stir have you forgotten the sound of your own voice have you known what it is to live and fail have you been alone do you know what it is to die how can a god pass judgment without being judged nald’thal lord of departures of flame and sand whose coin purse overflows who knows not what it means to starve what it means to spoil the legacy of one who loved you nald’thal who holds shells and souls and precious stones as if their worth were equal nald’thal who cannot know mercy without knowing pain who are you to weigh mortal affairs?
***
In darkness he unwinds the black bandana, steps first from his slops and then his kurta. Yuyudana has provided robes, which rest neatly on a small rock nearby. It crosses Cenric’s mind that the bones of his knees, his hips, his wrists, even his face have all started to protrude strangely. He looks less hyuran than before, maybe less than he ever has. Closer to something priests would exorcise than anyone deserving aid.
He wonders if this idea has occurred to them.
The water, when he advances, is cold. Goosebumps raise across his skin as slowly, gingerly, he wades in to his waist.
Cenric ducks under.
His hair is a long and tangled wreck. Being wet only disguises this slightly. It drifts past his neck, comes to float near the surface. Cenric holds himself in silence, eyes open, watching the silver scatter of light over stones and plants and fish. He remains for as long as he can bear.
His vision stings afterward. Gasping, he can’t tell if the cause is exposure or something else. For a time he simply waits, breathing hard through his nose, hunched so that his lips are partially submerged.
He thinks of nothing, pretends that this time instead of no future he has no past.
Only one moon remains. Maybe the sky aches for losing Dalamud, but better that than the blow which scarred Eorzea.
Stalemate - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic
He is presented with impressions of a horse, gaunt and fetid and decayed. Spreading ruin wheresoever it goes. Occasionally it sloughs off portions of its own flesh, which collect flies and blacken any land that surrounds. On its back rests a world, and alongside it does the herd struggle under their own burdens. But even beasts of such endurance have limits. Theirs are reached. When the rotten steed lags, its companions cannot afford to falter. Cannot turn. Without its ability to bear loads, this aberration has no place. Falling is inevitable.
Yet a heart still beats and lungs yet swell.
The Ascian shivers in his grasp, but does not attempt escape.
Here, something festers. Something bleeds. An old wound exacerbated over time.
Fevered, coated in a film of self-disgust, the core of Lahabrea convulses.
Don’t…
Don’t leave me like this…
***
Teeth and tongue. Lingering, wet, disembodied. Another finds his hip. Another his thigh, slipping beneath what clothes remain.
And another.
And another.
Warm, human, seeking. The Warrior tightens his hold, uses the moan crawling from his own chest as incentive. Barred by naught but fabric, driving close as he can manage. Lahabrea makes a strangled sound, his gasp crushed empty. A new mouth finds the dark knight’s ear in response.
These are parts of him no one dares touch, no one dares acknowledge. Slick now, attended with something like reverence. Supplication.
He resolves to fuck the Ascian senseless for this, presses his intent deep into Lahabrea’s aether. He is going to steal all his fancy words away. Make him squirm.
“I… I…” Tight, airless, like a plucked string. The Warrior feels Lahabrea’s voice reverberate against the roof of his mouth.
The feeling is difficult to describe. Cracked ice. A fraying rope. Such is Lahabrea's response, fumbling and disoriented as it is.
The Warrior lets go.
4. Share your favorite dialogue you’ve written?
Just imagine me weeping over here lmao. Same deal as before, I’VE DONE TOO MUCH SHIT.
Spare Change - A Batman Fanfic
"Stop," he gasps, "I wouldn’t—"
"You would Harvey. You did. It’s what makes you such a damn good instrument. You had to test yourself, prove that you’re not a real person.” He can feel fingers grinding against bone. His knees bend. Harvey kneels, shuddering, gazing up into the destruction of his own visage. Two-Face meets his eyes, blue on blue. “People are weak. People are ruled by what they want and don’t want. You’re capable of anything if the wind blows just right. You can’t even stop yourself.”
"I wouldn’t," he repeats, numbly.
"Did you," demands Two-Face, forcing him down further, "or did you not flip for their lives, Harvey Dent?"
"We…We aren’t the same people anymore."
"Of COURSE we’re the same people!" Another shove and he’s on the ground, Two-Face sitting on his chest, teeth bared, coin clenched tight between them. "Do you really think you can close your eyes and pretend you aren’t capable of these things? They’re alive," and there is something hideous in his expression, something certain, "because they were lucky. No other reason.”
"The coin is gone! Even if I wanted to listen to it—I can’t!”
"If you’re so sure," says Two-Face, "then how about you improvise?”
And with one motion the silver dollar is under his tongue, forced back so hard he feels himself gag and begin to choke before his eyes open.
The Inquisitor’s Letters - A Dragon Age: Inquisition Fanfic
To His Worship Inquisitor Mahanon Lavellan of Skyhold, My name is Isell from Amaranthine and I’m seven. My mum is helping but says I can send you all by myself. Thank you for fixing the hole in the sky and also the one by the dead man’s house. There were demons but they’re mostly gone now and people are going outside now. Da says Amaranthine has been through too much and can survive anything and he says you’re an elf like us and the Hero of Ferelden was an elf too. He says people used to think elves can’t be heroes but now they don’t. Have you met the Hero of Ferelden? Also I heard that even though you’re Dalish Andraste helped you in the Fade and that humans let you be in the Chantry because anyone Andraste likes must be a really good person. What’s Andraste like? The Chant says a lot but it’s different meeting someone I think. Also I think I saw you a little before but Mum wasn’t sure because you had a helmet on and we were far away and there were a lot of people but I bet it was you. Da wasn’t sure I should write because he says the Dalish don’t like city elves like we are but I think you must be nice and Mum agrees with me. I’ve been playing demon hunters with my brother Arrion (he’s just five still) and Da said templars are who fights demons usually and elves can’t be templars. People thought elves couldn’t be heroes and inquisitors though and we are so I bet I could too. Is it hard fighting demons? Da says they’re real scary but I’m not scared. Thank you for helping us and everyone and I hope you kill lots of demons. Sincerely, Isell U’venlan
From Umbra - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic
Cenric sits on the floor, draped in a white cotton tunic. It might have been snug on a Roegadyn but anyone else would find ample room. Behind him, Memesu stands on a cot holding shears. Gold earrings dangle on either side of her face.
“I fought at Carteneau, you know,” she mentions casually. There is a soft hsssssshhhh. Click.
Hair hits the floor. Coils.
He starts to shake his head, aborts the gesture partway through. Stills. “…you saw Bahamut?”
Memesu snorts. “I’m sure everyone this side of Hydaelyn saw Bahamut.” Click.
“That’s probably true,” he concedes. The dragon is what everyone knows, everyone remembers. He can't imagine the proximity. “What about the Warriors of Light?”
“Pff.” Gentle tugging at his scalp. Cenric does not open his eyes but leans into the motion. “I wasn’t of rank to see their like. Not that I’d remember. Stop moving.” Click.
Cenric hesitates.
“What do you remember, then?”
For a time, the only sound comes from blades and a thousand strands cut short. This lasts for several minutes. Cenric resigns himself to secrets.
Then, “I used to think I was special too. As a twin. My sister was Memeni. We studied together.”
Was.
The exhale hits him slowly, quietly.
“She died?”
He can feel the shrug in her hip against his shoulder.
“It was Carteneau,” says Memesu. “Of course she died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?” Click. “It had nothing too do with you. If you keep trying to claim responsibility for every misfortune you find, you’re going to get self-important.”
Cenric only grunts, quiet and non-committal.
Click.
Click.
Click.
“Carteneu was so much worse than people remember. Only four years later and already we hurry to dispose of details.” There is a hard undercurrent to Memesu’s voice, but what contact she makes remains light. Careful. “I remember the arcanist from Limsa who didn’t dodge a magitek canon in time. Miqo’te. Spells come faster in that discipline, so there’s less stress on distance than thaumaturgy. Girl got careless.” Click. “The mess smelled like rotten eggs and charcoal. Her face was… melted.” Click. “I try not to look in those situations. They only make casting harder. But she was so close.”
Cenric doesn’t move. Doesn’t say a word.
Memesu continues. “One of our own gladiators, an Ala Mhigan, took to mutilating any pureblooded Garleans he could catch. The man had a string of eyes hanging around his neck. I’m pretty sure one enemy officer wet himself before he started to beg. Not that it particularly mattered.”
Click.
“Memeni… didn’t anticipate what she was getting herself into. She saw magic as a way of being useful to craftsmen. My focus has always been theoretical. Right side.” Startled, Cenric lets her guide his jaw to get a better view of his profile. Click. Click. “Meni used to think I was a priss. She preferred to develop magitek kettles alongside alchemists. See if she could find a way to capture light like the Mhachi did. She still enjoyed fishing when she could, even though it smelled awful. Never outgrew the braids she wore growing up. ” Memesu sighs. “…just understand she died afraid, in pain, and with things left undone. My sister didn’t even resemble herself at the end.”
Cenric is very still. Thinks carefully.
“…I wish it could have gone differently,” he says at last.
Memesu’s mouth slides up in a small, crooked smile. She tousles the neat, ear-length hair before her. “So do I.”
Eclipse - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic
It ends at Elidibus’ untimely arrival.
“Lord Zodiark,” he says, so smoothly that were he not searching for it that the anger would be undetectable, “appreciates your attentions.” His gaze does not waver from Lahabrea as he speaks. “But there is work to be done and I’m afraid there are words I would have with your Speaker.”
They disperse.
Nabriales, careful and curious, folds himself out of sight beyond the chamber then makes his way back to its edge.
Lahabrea, farthest from the exit, attempts to steal some small dignity. Turns to face Elidibus.
The Emissary makes him wait. Expressionless red masks matched by those who wear them.
Then, with more speed and force than typical for his demeanor, the Emissary closes distance to trap his colleague against the wall.
“It was my error,” hisses Elidibus, leaning in, “to have stayed silent upon rescuing you. A mistake I will remedy now, so we can be on no uncertain terms.”
Lahabrea lowers his eyes. Nabriales notes that despite the dread they all share of such reprimands, the man does not brace.
“You know as well as I that these words offer less succor to our Lord than action,” continues Elidibus, his fury quiet and no less sharp for that, “just as we both know your thoughtless action is the cause of repeated missteps these past centuries. Make no mistake—for all the strides you’ve made, your fixation and your impatience have cost the rest of us considerable time.”
Silence.
“Do you truly think this is your best service to Him?” asks Elidibus. “To us? Compromising your ability to fill the hours? Even Emet-Selch agrees these displays are disgraceful. You have ever borne them poorly, but being a 'paragon among paragons' naturally you continue ignoring your own better judgment with ours to continue this exercise in futility. Idiot.”
A twitch of the head. Almost a flinch.
It is one of few moments Nabriales has seen the Emissary express his anger so openly. Even after the Thirteenth fell to Igeyorhm’s error, Elidibus allowed the Angel of Truth to lead and voiced his own reproach with a more typical icy demeanor. Scathing though it was.
“I can be of use,” says Lahabrea softly. “Only three of us remain, and I—“
“You,” Elidibus snaps, “cannot follow the most simple instructions for the good of us all. Not for Him, not for Amaurot, not even for yourself. Your pride has made you not simply an embarrassment but a liability.”
Neither man speaks for several moments after that.
And then, at length, Elidibus exhales.
Says the Speaker’s name.
Receives his attention.
“What would you have me do?” the Emissary asks. His tone now is almost weary. “Clearly it would be unreasonable to trust you’d simply listen. Must I mind you like a child?” This is what breaks Lahabrea’s composure.
Knowing the man’s temper, Nabriales had expected him to lash out. Even on the back foot their orator is perfectly capable of defending himself from insults.
Instead, he embraces Elidibus fiercely—face just within the bounds of his pauldrons. Jaw locked shut firmly enough to hurt. Expression downcast.
Elidibus remains perfectly still at first. In the absence of conversation it is possible to hear the rush of Lahabrea’s breathing. Only through the nose, withheld briefly between each inhale as if that offers some means to steady himself.
As if that would make it better.
Tentatively, Elidibus holds him back. Lahabrea's fingers contract, and though he remains upright when his knees begin to give it is the Emissary who helps him kneel.
“Easy,” he murmurs, and Lahabrea removes one hand to run it reflexively over his face—coming against the mask.
Nabriales finds himself staring, searching. A puzzle with missing pieces whose image he may yet divine
“It was not,” says Lahabrea roughly, “my intention to…”
Elidibus reaches beneath the other man’s cowl, finds the hair and skin beneath. Draws him in once more.
Naught that would be shared with or among the Sundered. Nothing so personal as that.
Nabriales has worn his own share of flesh. Bedded lovers, adopted companions and families of vessels to fulfill a purpose. Passable enough, perhaps, but never for him. Not in truth.
It’s as if he looks upon two strangers.
Parched - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic
The door closes behind them. Lahabrea, projecting his preferred likeness over the host, waits on a couch within.
It’s admittedly a surreal sight. Ishgardian finery with its gilded edges, its elaborate wallpapers and marble floors. A collection of creams and blues and greens, fine furniture with velvet seat cushions. All ostentatious in the extreme… and then Lahabrea. Masked and cowled. Pouring three glasses of La Noscean arrack.
Elidibus freezes, and though none of them can see his eyes the confusion is clear enough.
“What is this?”
“Your turn,” says Emet-Selch, lightly but less flippant than he might have been.
Lahabrea proffers a cup from where he sits.
Elidibus neither moves nor speaks.
Emet-Selch approaches. Takes the drink. Presses it carefully into the other man’s hand.
“Don’t think,” he says smoothly,” that I won’t let you drop it.”
Mercifully, Elidibus has a good grip.
“Sit,” says Lahabrea, gesturing with his own glass to the sofa across from him.
Elidibus sits.
Emet-Selch sits.
Takes his own glass, perhaps a bit pointedly.
Elidibus’ mouth is pressed tight. It opens briefly, as if to speak. Shuts again.
“Explain,” the Emissary manages eventually.
Lahabrea meets his co-conspirator’s eye. Downs his arrack in a single attempt.
It is a long attempt.
It lasts several moments.
The other Ascians watch.
“Elidibus,” says Emet-Selch as Lahabrea endeavors to catch his breath in the aftermath, “Lahabrea and I are concerned that you may be experiencing some difficulties in recent years.”
“I’m fine,” replies Elidibus coldly. Holding his drink. “Why did you think this necessary?”
“Because—“ wheezes Lahabrea.
“Because you’re practically a mammet,” says Emet-Selch, picking up Lahabrea’s glass. Moving it just out of reach. “Truly. It’s been what, two hundred years? Three? Neither of us can remember the last time you so much as spoke of matters unrelated to the Rejoining.”
Lahabrea reaches. Elidibus pours his arrack into the other man’s glass before nudging it back toward him.
Elidibus makes eye contact with Emet-Selch.
“I remain focused,” he says evenly. “Nothing more.”
Emet-Selch gestures to the bottle.
Elidibus sighs.
Refills his own glass.
“There are matters I must attend myself. As is the case with each of you.”
“Undoubtedly,” replies Lahabrea more evenly. “But with few exceptions, you haven’t done so.”
A hard stare from behind the mask.
“What would you have me do? I can’t very well take time off.”
Emet-Selch sips.
“A negligible amount of time,” he says, “taken sparingly, may be forgivable.”
5. Scene you haven’t written, but want to?
Lmao see this is a plus side/minus side deal. Minus side, it’s being asked just before I embark on a MASSIVE ASS FANFIC. And I basically am excited for all of it. Plus side, there are things I refuse to spoil.
So... putting it vaguely, in no particular order:
- Lahabrea and Hydaelyn meet a second time after Praetorium.
- Moonfire Faire
- Thancred
- Conversations over mulled wine
- Silvertear Lake
Some of these are sex scenes. Most aren’t. But I am very hyped.
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Witch Laws:
There are thirteen commandments.
Witches and Mortals are forbidden to be together due to their ‘inherent incompatibility’.
The coven forbids meaningful connections with mortals.
Dark Baptism:
A witch’s Dark Baptism is the most sacred unholy sacrament, the oldest of their rites and they’ve been performing them for centuries.
The idea that signing the Book is equivalent to giving the Dark Lord dominion over your soul is only one interpretation, many witches choose to see it a symbolic gesture of devotion, signing your name is considered to be more a ‘pledge’.
Once a witch has signed the Book at their Baptism, they are obliged to do the Dark Lord’s bidding if he calls on you.
Witches are, according to Blackwood, free to leave the Church of Night at any time post-baptism (but there is no mention of undoing your name in the Book).
Witches are only allowed to wear black to their Dark Baptism, though it hasn’t been an official rule for decades.
The day before a Dark Baptism should be spent in quiet contemplation, studying Satanic Verses.
Zelda and Hilda collect the Black Narcissus, a black goat, for the Dark Baptism as well as the blood as the Kemplar boy. The goat is not used during the ceremony before Sabrina runs, though the blood is.
If you are late to your own Baptism, the Hell Flames will burn you
When Sabrina arrives there is a bough of branches to walk through, an sigils made out of twigs also hang there. Her white dress turns to black before she steps through the arch of blue Hellfire, walking through the flames to reach her Baptism. A fire is lit in the centre of the glade and everyone is dressed in costume or best clothes, there is whispered chanting in Latin and the Book of the Beast waits, open, on the stone altar.
Dark Baptism Ceremony:
High Priest. Welcome Daughter of Night. Who presents this child for Unholy Baptism? Parents/Guardians of child: We do, your excellency.
The guardians are then instructed to disrobe the initiate until she stands in her slip and bare feet
High Priest: We are gathered together in these woods in the presence of our Dark Lord, with all the souls the living and the dead of our coven, the most unholy Church of Night. Kneel, child
The initiate kneels. The High Priest then dips his thumb in the blood (preferably human)
High Priest: Our Dark Lord teaches us there is no law beyond do what thou wilt
The High Priest marks the Dark Lord’s sigil upon the forehead of the initiate in the blood
High Priest: Our Dark Lord asks; would you like to be happy child, to be free, free to love, to hate, to be what nature meant you to be, true to her laws and yourself only? Initiate: Yes, Father High Priest: Do you believe in Lucifer, the archangel who preferred the loss of heaven to that of his pride? Initiate: Yes, Father High Priest: In exchange for this belief you shall be granted powers that will enable you to be of service to the Dark Lord. Sabrina Edwina Diana Spellman, are you willing to forsake the Path of Light and follow the Path of Night wherever it may lead you? Initiate: I am High Priest: Are you willing to place our Dark Lord above all others in your life, be it your loved ones, your family, your friends, your neighbours? Initiate: I am High Priest: Then it is time to sign his Book
The High Priest then leads the initiate by the hand to the Book. He then cuts her hand with a blade and squeezes her blood onto the page. She then dips the bone quill in the blood to sign her name in it.
High Priest; In signing his Book of the Beast you swear to obey without question any order you may receive from the Dark Lord or from any he has placed in authority over you. In signing his book, the Book of the Beast, you swear to give your mind, body and soul unreservedly to the furtherance of the designs of our Lord Satan
Displays of Power:
Zelda astral projects into Sabrina’s room to spy on her and Hilda.
When Sabrina runs from her Baptism, vines and trees reach out to grab her and pull her back. They actively wrap around her feet like ropes and try to drag her back; it is not clear whether this is Blackwood’s work or the Dark Lord’s.
Sabrina and the Weird Sister manipulate electricity, making the street lights flicker. They also make their laughter carry in the air and summon winds to blow the trees, and make the boys hear music that is coming from nowhere.
The Weird Sisters control the light of a gas lamp with a single look. They also turn off all the lights into utter darkness with one snap of their fingers.
Spells:
“A circle of protection rings this house. and no witch save a Spellman may cross it. Any unwelcome witch that tries shall burn!’ Though this is only a bluff, it works, suggesting such a spell does exist.
Summoning the Weird Sisters: Chant, while winding a white rope around three twigs, “Weird Sisters hand in hand, travellers of the sea and land, thrice to thine and thrice to mine and thrice again to make up nine. Peace the charms wound up"
Illusion Spell: Sabrina and the Weird Sisters make it seem as if the four high school boys are making out with them in the mines, when in fact they are making out with each other. The flash and sound of a camera breaks the illusion.
Devil in the Dark: The Weird Sisters weird demonic face glamours to terrify the mortal boys
Caged Birds: To keep the boys from getting an erection, they lock four birds in a cage. Each bird represents each boy’s so-called manhood and until the birds are released, they are unable to ‘rise to any occasion’.
Grimoire:
‘The Devil’ is a Christian term and the Church of Night do not use it. Use of a Malum Malus hasn’t been recognised for decades, specifically because of its supposed wild inaccuracy.
Hilda is resurrected from the Cain Pit. Zelda states that each time she’s killed, Hilda takes longer and longer to resurrect and that one day she will not come back, implying the Cain Pit does have it’s limits.
Sabrina crosses her fingers when making a promise so she does not have to keep it.
Visions: At her Baptism, Sabrina sees her parents. Diana is holding a baby Sabrina. Edward is shaking his head, while Diana repeatedly says ‘run’.
Possessions: Principal Hawthorne is possessed by Lucifer. Time stops while it happens and blood pours from his eyes and foam from his mouth.
Mythology:
Hell is reserved only for mortals; in exchange for their service and devotion, witches are exempt from the eternal flames of damnation.
The Dark Lord’s book, the Book of the Beast, is the most ancient tome in existence.
Free will is declared to be the ‘bed rock’ on which the Church of Night is based.
Being a Satanic Witch does not make you evil; Good and Evil are declared to be Christian terms, whereas the Church of Night considers the individual.
The Dark Lord is not the embodiment of evil, but the embodiment of free will.
Witches live for centuries, but we don’t confirm how many.
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What does Steve want?
tl;dr going back in time fulfills neither Steve’s narrative wants nor needs, because the former are too broad and the latter are negated by foreknowledge.
Aside from other reasons for disliking how Endgame ended, I find Steve's arc narratively unsatisfying, and it comes down to one simple thing: because what Steve wants to do and what he believes is right were always consistently the same thing, I never had the sense Steve wants anything except doing the right thing, and as such the absolute selfishness of leaving everyone to deal with the present and going back in time to get a life comes out of nowhere.
This is not necessarily the wrong narrative choice, but it also isn't one that feels like an ending of an arc that set a character up to face the difficult choice between the right thing and the consequences of the right thing (and never delivered).
Contrast with the beautifully clear and coherent arc for Iron Man: Tony wants to go home to a family and Tony wants to save everyone. We know this about him from very early on, and his story is consistently about navigating between those two wants, so when the choice comes to sacrifice going home versus saving everyone, we feel the gravitas of the moment. This is the culmination of his two warring wants, finally coming to fruition.
What does Steve want? What does Steve sacrifice on the altar of doing the right thing, what has he given up in his quest to fight for the world that he needs to reclaim to grow and be happy?
I honestly don't know.
He loses certain opportunities as a result of his choices, sure (e.g. being with Peggy), but losing things, especially opportunities, that you might have wanted is not the same as consciously sacrificing something, even opportunity, especially when those things are lost to snap decisions. There is no point at which the right thing is in question, versus the desire for something, in no small part because the right thing is always stopping the imminent danger, and not stopping it would likely also take out the thing Steve wants in that moment: in fact it is no choice at all.
Not putting the Valkyrie in the water was not an option because auto-guided missiles were threatening millions right that minute, not stopping Hydra was not an option, because if the war was lost there was nothing left to want, not fighting Bucky meant letting SHIELDra probably have him back and killing millions. Civil War comes closest to presenting an actual dilemma, but there was never a choice between things Steve wants and things Steve thinks are right: not letting Bucky be killed was the right thing to do and also something he wanted, not signing the Accords proved to be the right thing and also what he wanted. Argument can be made about the conflict with Tony, but jury's out on whether their friendship was sufficiently established in the MCU, at least from Steve's end. Steve never seems to have to choose between losing something he wants by doing what's right, or getting it by not doing it: what's right and what he wants are always intertwined.
It ties in with another facet of Steve to contend with, and that is his inability to not make everything his problem. That is a huge factor of how something drastic needed to happen before he stepped down and got a life, it is, in fact, the clearest example of what Steve needs versus what Steve wants. Steve can't seem to walk away from a fight: for all of his life he was doing the right thing because it was the right thing, which mostly meant fighting. This is not sustainable, and Steve needed to stop to some degree, but stop what, that's the question. Stop fighting all the time, certainly. Learn to enjoy victory, build something instead of throwing everything you have at a brick wall all the time. Learn to accept that there are things you cannot change, that you shouldn't change, because other people's freedom fucking sucks. In that light going to the past may be just what he needs, finally giving up control, giving up the illusion that if he just tries hard enough he will save everyone, because all of it already happened. On the surface that works.
However.
Learning a lesson like "you need to not fight sometimes" can't be "remove yourself from the world and all temptation". It is the narrative equivalent of an opium den. Retreat into a world where none of your choices matter, because all choices have already been made.
Leaving the world he saved would have worked, were he forced to sacrifice or lost that which made him fit in along the way, except that never happened. Time and again we are shown that Steve very much belongs in the XXI century, that he has a life there, friends, family. Even as early as the Winter Soldier Steve was shown to be very much at home in the 2010s. Occasionally it was lonely, sure, but so was Tony, so was Bruce, so was Natasha. Missing the people of his past is not the same thing as missing the past itself. Steve needed to make connections, and by the end of CAWS he did: he had Sam and Natasha, and the ball kept rolling. In fact by the end of Egg Steve has more people anchoring him in 2023 then he had in the 1940s.
The last thing is that we are at no point sold the idea that Steve truly wants anything concrete. He doesn't even particularly want to save the world, or at least doesn't view it as an attainable goal (with good reason – the world will always need saving, that is the price of freedom). Steve never seems to want stability, or a nuclear family, or security, or... seriously, what does Steve want from life at any given point? He says in CAWS he wants to do the right thing, but doesn't know what that is anymore, and that is resolved by the end. Steve never wanted to work for SHIELD for the sake of SHIELD, he just wanted to do his part and SHIELD appeared to enable that. That desire doesn't change. He doesn't give anything up, his wants and needs do not change, only the circumstances do, and even then they don't change enough for him to be forced to adjust his perspective.
Steve’s never been shown to be torn between “I want a normal, happy life” vs “I can’t stand by while evil is afoot”. If anything, his dilemmas tended towards “I can’t stand by while evil is afoot” vs “not standing by causes problems” (further weakened because he always ends up justified in choosing the former). Has this been resolved? Has Steve learned to pick his battles, to weigh cost and benefits of engaging depending on the situation? Has Steve learned to accept sacrifices in the great war against evil, or does he still consider sacrifices a personal failing that he needs to fix and or undo?
In the end we don't know, because we are not shown. Or told. All we know is that Steve existed consciously for another century, and either took the opportunity to re-do things that went wrong the first time (not great in terms of accepting and honouring the sacrifices of people who fought the first time, and also not a retirement), or sat back and not only let evil flourish, but watched his beloved wife take pride in building the place where he knew it flourished (…yikes).
…yeah, I'm gonna guess: no. Steve didn't learn.
There is one candidate for want: Egg tries to sell the idea that it’s Peggy, Peggy personally, which... okay, I buy that Peggy was the singular person with whom Steve ever dreamed of being, so being with Peggy, alright. That’s not nothing. That is a very clearly defined want.
(would help if we knew Peggy spent her whole life waiting for Steve to come back because he was the One Man who could make her happy. Nothing weakens that ending quite like the knowledge that the woman has been regressed into the desired prize)
But it’s also not much, considering Steve is never shown to want the things that going back to be with a woman usually represents, like home and stability and “life”. AoU was a golden opportunity to have Steve wistfully look at children running around a farm and be like “ah, that’s the dream”, but he just looks bemused. So the "want" is just Peggy, the specific person, however here is the final kick: Peggy-the-person represented something when Steve knew her in the 40s: she was the kindred spirit that believed in the same things and validated his wants, because those were the same things she wanted. They both believed in doing the right thing no matter the cost, standing up to bullies, being true to yourself. The thing is, all of that is voided by the fact that Steve needs to go back to be with her: going to the past is not the morally right choice, it is a selfish one. By going back Steve negates the entirety of why he wanted Peggy in the first place, and what he gets is just the shadow of Peggy, really, the undefined shape of a beautiful woman at the end of the day. In the end the fulfilling of Steve's apparent want is like cotton candy. It is pretty, well-shaped, sweet, and exactly what you think you want, except once you get it is nothing but a spoonful of empty calories that melts in the sunshine.
The problem with Steve's arc is that for all the talk about always doing the unselfish thing Steve has never done anything he didn't want to do, and that matters, as context. Steve is never conflicted about fighting, Steve is never shown wanting things other than the things he chooses, because the narrative never puts Steve in a position where he needs to choose between what is good for someone, and what he feels is right. We never see him grapple with the consequences of choosing his rigid morality at the expense of other people, which on one hand is fine – this is not necessarily the right genre for the meditation on the nature of selfishness, but on the other that leaves him with little room to grow, so to have an arc it must be one of selfishness, which would be fine, if it didn't play out as a happy ending. It is a deeply unsatisfying thought, that always choosing the right thing is so taxing that to be happy you need to eschew it altogether.
In conclusion: what Steve needs to be happy is to gain the wisdom to know the difference between the things he can change and the things he cannot change, and the serenity to accept the latter. Going into the past gives him the opportunity for none of that, because as mentioned above, depending on interpretation, he will have to either accept all things, or claim the power to change all things.
#avengers: endgame#spoilers#this post is so meta it's practically para#steve we'll see rogers#ON VA VOIR MOTHERFUCKER#MCU: forever salty#Endgame WTF
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50+ Fun Family-Oriented Pagan Activities for Winter
Winter is a time of inner reflection, but it’s also a time of family, feasting, and fun. Here are my favourite fun, family-oriented pagan activities for winter. Time to get out the mittens, mugs, and mistletoe! Whether you celebrate Yule, the Winter Solstice, or Christmas, these pagan activities may become traditions for your family. Keep in mind, you’ll see Christmas mentioned in this article, because many of us grew up celebrating Christmas and have blended the Winter holidays to meet our family’s needs and traditions. Just because the term Christmas is used, doesn’t make a tradition any less pagan. In fact, most of the Christmas traditions originate from older pagan traditions! Feel free to adapt each tradition and name to fit your beliefs and preferences.
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50+ Fun, Family Pagan Activities for Winter!
1. Candles in the Window
An Irish custom for centuries, placing candles in the windows guides your loved ones home in the winter months. It also invites the sun’s return. My grandmother did this every Christmas and it was a tradition I always loved.
2. Cloves in Oranges
Who doesn’t love the clove and cinnamon scents of the winter holidays? There’s a winter tradition of sticking cloves into oranges which is called pomanders. Pomanders date back to Medieval times and were used to ward off infection and bad odours. Hang cloved oranges around the house to scent your home and also draw in abundance. Cloves represent success and the oranges summon the sun’s return.
3. Bake Cookies
Whether you call them Yule or Christmas cookies is up to you, but baking cookies is a tradition for any family who loves sweets during the winter holidays. Let your kids decorate gingerbread and sugar cookies. Use cookie cutters in the shapes of stars, Santa, and his reindeer to represent the night sky, Odin, and his steed.
4. Advent Calendar
Advent Calendars are a fun way to countdown to Yule and/or Christmas. Instead of using candies for each day’s gift, replace with natural items like crystals. Advent means “coming” in Latin. Christians think of it as the coming of Jesus, while Pagans think of it as the coming of the sun.
5. Christmas Lights
The winter nights are long and dark, hence the tradition of Christmas lights. They light the way plus work sympathetic magic in inviting the sun’s return. Hang them up on the house and around the interior of your house. And don’t forget to go on a car ride around the neighbourhood to see all the beautiful light displays!
6. Cider or Mulled Wine
A cold night can always be warmed up with a hot cup of cider or mulled wine. Give the kids the hot apple cider with a stick of cinnamon and an orange slice, and let the adults partake in mulled wine with cloves, star anise, cinnamon and oranges. The Norse peoples used to refer to Yule as “Drinking Yule”, so why not let it live up to its name?
7. Women’s Christmas
The Feast of the Epiphany (January 6th) is also called Women’s Christmas in Ireland. Its tradition in County Kerry and County Cork to allow the women to have a day out on the town, while the men do the housework and cooking! Honour the women in your life, as you do the Goddess, and give them a day off for Women’s Christmas this winter. It’s also tradition on this day to take down Christmas decorations and the Christmas tree.
8. Gingerbread House
Gingerbread originated in Germany in the fifteen hundreds. If you have German ancestry, honour their memory by making a gingerbread house with your family.
9. Reindeer Food
Odin was known to ride his steed, Sleipnir, through the skies on winter nights. Sleipnir is thought to be the original “Santa’s reindeer”. Reindeer were sacred animals to Siberian shamans. Make reindeer food with the kids and leave it out for the reindeer on Christmas or Sleipnir on Yule.
10. Cookies for Odin & Santa
Whether you celebrate Yule or Christmas (or both), leave out a cookie offering for Odin on Yule and/or for Santa on Christmas Eve. The tradition of leaving cookies and milk for Santa clearly originated in leaving sweet offerings to appease the winter gods in the old days.
11. Caroling
Caroling has ancient roots that go back further than we know. “We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!” Going from door to door, singing blessings to the people inside in exchange for a cup of hot cocoa or a round of applause? Sounds like you’re bestowing good luck and abundance in exchange for offerings to me! Caroling is the newer version of traditions called mumming and wassailing.
12. Offerings to the Winter Fairies
They say there are a different set of fairies for each season. In the winter season, wouldn’t it be nice to set out offerings for the winter fairies? Frosted cookies and hot beverages would be greatly appreciated by the wee folk. This makes for a fun tradition with the whole family. Set the offerings outside on a tree trunk or somewhere in the garden. This is one of those purely pagan activities
13. Holly & Ivy
Decorate your house and hearth with holly and ivy. Holly and ivy as Christmas decorations predates Christianity. Our pagan ancestors used evergreens to decorate hearth and home for a couple reasons: to keep the “warmth” of the earth alive in their home and hearts, to ward off evil spirits in the winter, and to bring abundance in the new year. In new pagan traditions, the Holly King and Oak King battle it out on the Winter Solstice and the Oak King wins! He represents the return of the sun/earth/summer.
14. Gaze at the Winter Sky
Sometimes the sky looks so clear on a winter’s night. Spend a minute or two gazing up into the sky – notice the brilliance of the stars and the darkness of the black space between. If the moon is out – praise her for her light and glory. Wish upon the north star.
15. Wassailing
A similar/same tradition as caroling, yet wassailing in apple orchards is believed to provide a good harvest in the coming year. Wassailing is basically singing to the trees, honouring the spirits in the trees, and ensuring a plentiful bounty of apples in the coming year.
16. Yule Herbal Sachets
Make herbal sachets full of Yule and Christmas spices to hang around the house. Cinnamon, clove, star anise, and apple serve to sweeten the air, plus bring abundance in the coming year to your home. Choose herbal sachet bags of red, green, silver, and gold.
17. Sun Bread
The Winter Solstice is the longest night of the year. But the following day brings hope with the sun’s glorious return. Bake bread in the shape of the sun to celebrate the sun’s return to the earth. Recipes and instructions can be found online. Eat and partake in the sun’s warmth and abundance for the year to come.
18. Pinecones
The pinecones have dropped. Hopefully you collected some last Fall! Now you and the family can decorate them with silver and gold spray paint and glitter OR decorate them like Christmas trees and hang them on the tree!
19. Winter Solstice Spiral
The spiral symbol represents the never-ending cycle of life, death, and rebirth and did so for our ancient Celtic ancestors. On a snowy day, go outside and create a spiral made of evergreens and stones to honour our ancestors and the great cycle of life. It also makes for gorgeous photos and a lovely offering to the winter spirits.
20. Resurrection Flower
The Resurrection flower is also known as the Rose of Jericho. It is a tumbleweed and desert plant that seems dead, until soaked in a bit of water then springs back to life! It’s used in hoodoo tradition to bring abundance if 5 coins are placed in the water along with the resurrection flower then the water is used to wash one’s front door. Keep the resurrection flower all year, then add water in the winter to represent the return of the sun and renewal of the earth.
21. Yule Altar
Clean, consecrate, and re-decorate your altar to honor the Winter sabbats, gods, and spirits. Choose evergreen garland, red and green candles, and silver candle holders to name a few.
22. Yule Log
The Yule log is steeped in ancient tradition. Choose a log and decorate it with greenery. You can even carve out holes to use as candle holders until it’s time to burn the yule log. Traditionally, it was burnt slowly over the course of the 12 days of Christmas then a piece was saved to light the next year’s yule log. That piece of the yule log was thought to ward off misfortune in the coming year.
23. Yule / Christmas Tree
The true origins of the Christmas or Yule tree are heavily debated, but I think its clear bringing an evergreen tree into one’s home is an ancient pagan thing to do. Whether to preserve the tree’s spirit through the winter or to bring life into the home, the Yule tree is a popular tradition during the winter holidays for many people, religious or not.
24. Books on Xmas Eve
In Iceland it’s called Jolabokaflod or “Christmas Book Flood.” This tradition is about giving each other books as presents on Christmas Eve and then staying up late that night to read them. Give your family books this year and read them together as the Icelanders do!
25. Yule Bock
A Northern European tradition that dates back centuries is the Yule Bock (Yule Goat). Scholars believe it is tied to ancient Germanic paganism, the Harvest, and/or the Norse god Thor. Make your own yule bock out of hay and red ribbon. If it’s small – hang it on your tree. If it’s large – place in random places around the home.
26. Christmas Wreaths
Make your own Christmas wreath out of evergreens like holly or spruce. Hang on the front door for good luck and Christmas cheer. The Christmas wreath is thought to date back to ancient times as a symbol of eternity or divinity (circular shape and evergreen).
27. Hot Cocoa
Drinking hot cocoa is a sweet tradition that all kids love…and many adults. This sweet treat has surprising pagan origins. Sources say the ancient Mayans or Aztecs invented hot cocoa as a drink for royalty.
The ancient Mayans invented hot cocoa…make and drink it as one of the sweetest pagan activities in the winter!
28. Gifts
Without falling into the cycle of mindless consumerism, giving gifts to loved ones during the winter is a time-honoured tradition. During a season of cold, bleak days, gifts can cheer us up and bring us closer together. Choose to give gifts with meaning. Special framed photographs, experiences, etc. instead of useless objects that will end up at a thrift store or at the dump.
29. Fruit & Cinnamon Garland
Another fun seasonal craft is making your own garland out of fruits and herbs. String together dried orange or apple slices along with star anise and cinnamon as a beautiful, rustic piece to hang on the mantle or around your home. This is a simple craft the whole family can do!
30. Simmering Potpourri
Want to make your house smell like Yule? Try making a simmering pot of potpourri on the stove this year. Its as simple as adding cinnamon sticks, orange slices, star anise, and cloves to a simmering pot of water.
31. Sun Decor
Bring back the sun by decorating your altar and home with sun decor. Find sun plaques online, or make your own from felt and hot glue.
32. Oranges in Stockings
My grandmother used to add oranges to our stockings at Christmas. This tradition is said by some to be a Christian representation of the gold thrown down the chimney by St. Nicholas; however, pagans know it as a nod to the end of winter and the sun’s return (think citrus – sun).
33. New Winter Holidays
Add a different winter holiday to your winter repertoire. Depending on your culture, there may be a holiday you’ve never celebrated with pagan roots.
34. Bonfires
Not only does a bonfire keep us warm on winter nights, it also reminds us of the same element our ancestors used to survive the winter months. Without fire, we might not be here. Roast marshmallows and sing Christmas songs together this winter.
35. St. Stephen’s Day
One of those “other” winter holidays we discussed previously, St. Stephen’s Day is celebrated the day after Christmas Day. In Canada, it’s called Boxing Day. Whatever you want to call it, make your own tradition of celebrating this winter holiday in your own pagan way.
36. St. Lucia’s Day
St. Lucia’s Day is celebrated in Scandinavia and is thought to be a more modern Christian celebration of St. Lucia who was once a pagan goddess. Perhaps she had another name, perhaps not. The Grimm Brothers say St. Lucia as another representation of the ancient goddess Berchta. It was originally celebrated on the Winter Solstice, giving it a clear pagan foundation.
37. Dough Ornaments
Another craft tradition centred around the Yule tree – try making dough ornaments with your kids and family members. Stars and suns add a perfect pagan touch to the tree.
38. Ghost Stories
Traditionally, winter was thought to be the season following Samhain (Summer’s end) where spirits roamed the earth…particularly dangerous spirits. Ghost stories were once told around the fire. Bring back the ghost story tradition this winter!
39. Oak King and Holly King
If you have a family of thespians, assign roles to your family members, print out a script, and put on a play of the battle between the Oak King and the Holly King. You could even make special costumes for the event! The winter solstice is when the Oak King takes over rule of the earth, winning against the Holly King in battle.
40. Feast on Yule
What’s one thing we love to do as human beings? Eat, of course! Feasting during the winter holidays has been going on for thousands of years. Long before the church’s rise, our pagan ancestors feasted during the winter as a way to “lighten the mood”, bring the tribe together, and thank the gods for a bountiful harvest. So feast on Yule!
41. Feast on Christmas
See above. Already had a feast on Yule? Throw another feast on Christmas!
42. 12 Days of Christmas
Once upon a time, Christmas was celebrated over a span of twelve whole days! Where do you think the song comes from? Also called Christmastide, the celebration of a holiday lasting more than a few days is said to originate before the rise of the church but was adapted by the church to make conversion easier. Who doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas longer? Do something simple for each of the 12 days of Christmas starting Christmas Day and lasting until January 5th.
43. Charity
Nevermind religion, giving of your time or goods to those in need feels good during the holidays and teaches kids a wonderful morality lesson of compassion and kindness. The holidays are about community and giving.
44. Story of the Baker’s Dozen
There’s an old tale about where the baker’s dozen comes from. It involves Saint Nicholas, an old witch, and a baker in New Amsterdam (NYC). Read it to your kids by the fireside.
45. Story of La Befana
Continuing on the lesser known Christmas stories, children in the U.S. and elsewhere in the world might have never heard the story of the Christmas witch – La Befana. If you live in Italy, you will know the story. La Befana is a witch who gives presents to children on Christmas Eve. Read the story and add the tradition to your home!
46. Story of the Perchten
Does your family like scary stories? Read and tell the story of the Perchten, a horde of scary monsters that parade through the streets of Germany, Hungary, and other countries during the winter holidays, scaring off evil winter spirits. The Perchten are named after the germanic goddess Berchta – read their story here.
47. Christmas Movies
One of the best things about the Winter season is all the family-oriented Christmas movies on TV. Watch a different winter movie each weekend together. Our pagan ancestors put a huge emphasis on family. Elf, Rudolph, and The Santa Clause are just a few of my family’s favourites.
48. Cuddle
More emphasis on family, but also to keep warm, make time to cuddle up with your favorite person this winter.
49. Letters
Have the kids write letters to Santa or Odin and send them “up the chimney” (aka leave it on the fireplace/mantle) or send in the “mailbox”.
50. Mistletoe
Mistletoe is steeped in pagan history. The Druids found mistletoe to be a sacred plant because it grew on their holy tree – the oak. Mistletoe was banned from the church because of its pagan associations for many years. Hang mistletoe in the house and when two people are caught under it together – they’re supposed to kiss so goes the old custom.
51. Goddess Ritual
With Santa, the elves, and Odin getting all the attention during the winter holidays, don’t forget to include the Goddess in your holiday fun. Write and perform a ritual dedicated solely to the Mother Goddess. Perform on the Winter Solstice or on the Full Cold Moon.
52. Snow Fun
If you live in a region that gets snow in the winter, why not get outside in warm clothes and enjoy the winter landscape? Go sledding, build a snowman, have a snowball fight, and make snow angels! Bundle up and enjoy Mother Earth in her glistening, snowy glory!
https://otherworldlyoracle.com/50-fun-family-oriented-pagan-activities-for-winter/
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Sermon for St. Michael and All Angels (Michaelmas) (9/29/19)
Primary Text | Luke 10:17-20
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Dear People of God,
You may notice instead of our usual green on the altar we have white. Today we celebrate the minor festival called St. Michael and All Angels, also known as Michaelmas. It only occurs on September the 29th and we only celebrate it when it by chance lands on a Sunday. The next time it will happen will be in five years, so it seems good to take the opportunity to learn about it and celebrate it today. Here you can see that we as Lutherans acknowledge angels as having something to do with our human reality—namely, to protect us. The reading from Daniel brings up St. Michael the Archangel as the protector of God’s people. The reading from Revelation portrays St. Michael defending God’s people against the ancient serpent. And the Psalm brings up angels in general as spiritual beings who do God’s bidding and act according to his will. Michael is often depicted using a sword, but we must remember that the sword is a metaphor, as Revelation says, “They conquered the Devil by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” Therefore, the angels guard us by nothing other than the Word of God—whom we put our faith in. For God promises to save us from the hand of all our enemies.
So, if today is supposed to be about St. Michael and All Angels it’s funny that the Gospel of Luke’s reading for today brings up neither St. Michael nor the angels. Well, not happy angels as you will see. The seventy disciples returned with joy, saying, “Lord, in your name even the demons submit to us!” Demons are considered angels who have fallen; they are spirits who have rejected God and live lives contrary to God’s Word. Our Lord Jesus said, “I watched Satan fall from heaven like a flash of lightning.” Satan, who is the sum of all evil, is also an angel—though he is the Devil. He is a liar and a murderer, and what’s nothing else but to crush God’s people. But here Jesus teaches that Satan’s power and time is limited and short. And Jesus says to his disciples and he says to us, “See, I have given you authority to tread on snakes and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy; and nothing will hurt you.” The imagery of snakes and scorpions of course is picture language to mean the spirits who seek our demise. They whisper in our ears that we are not worthy of God’s love, or of any love. Ultimately, the snakes and scorpions hate and obscure the gospel and seek to sabotage it. And the trick is that they want to lure us into hating God and the gospel too.
But the secret is not to look at them, but to look at our Christ and him on the cross. We must always come back to God’s word and God’s promise, for he promises to save us from all the power of the enemy. And it is why we must constantly turn the Lord’s Prayer where it says, “Deliver us from evil.” For God certainly hears and gladly welcomes our prayer. So, if you are ever afraid, say, “God save me.” “No one,” Christ says, “shall snatch you out of my hand, because my Father who has given you to me is greater than all.” The Word promises to save us and the Word does what it says it will do. Whether it be Satan, demons, or our own battle in life, we fight not with swords but with the Word of God. The great Reformation hymn A Mighty Fortress is Our God will be our teaching hymn throughout October. It has the lyrics, “Though hordes of devils fill the land, we tremble not, unmoved we stand…For God himself fights by our side with weapons of the Spirit.” The weapons of course are the Word and the Sacraments—the only places where the Holy Spirit chooses to work. There may be many evil spirits, but we can take comfort that there is only one Spirit who is the Holy Spirit.
When you think of St. Michael and all angels who protect and defend us, remember we have the same power as them—the power of God’s Word—namely the good news of Jesus Christ. That we are justified by grace—God loves us entirely by his own choosing without conditions, that we are justified through faith—that is, a trust that God creates and kindles the flames of in our hearts, on account of Christ—meaning that on the cross Jesus died for us and for the sins of the world—that all may be united to God in peace eternally, and finally the gospel means we are saved without our works. We mustn’t look at our own selves to determine whether or not we are worthy of God’s love—for nothing in all creation can separate from God’s love in Jesus Christ. No enemies who accuse us of our faults will convince God otherwise, not even our own doubts. God only considers the Christ who loves us without end. And that’s all that matters. Turn to the back of your hymnal to page 1166. There you will find “The Morning Blessing” in the Small Catechism. It says: In the morning, as soon as you get out of bed, you are to make the sign of the holy cross and say: “God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit watch over me. Amen.” Then, kneeling or standing, say the Apostles’ Creed and the Lord’s Prayer. If you wish, you may recite this little prayer as well: “I give thanks to you, heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ your dear Son, that you have protected me through the night from all harm and danger. I ask that you would also protect me today from sin and all evil, so that my life and actions may please you. Into your hands I commend myself: my body, my soul, and all that is mine. Let your holy angel be with me, so that the wicked foe may have no power over me. Amen.”
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Bonus Spotlight: Ahriman, the Shadow Across Creation
Neutral Evil Demigod of Destruction, Divs, and Nihilism
Domains: Darkness, Death, Destruction, Evil Subdomains: Catastrophe, Fear, Loss, Rage
The Complete Book of the Damned, pg. 12~13
Obedience: While praying to Ahriman, destroy something of monetary or sentimental value to another person, preferably in front of someone with a strong emotional connection to the item. Alternatively, willingly take 1 point of Constitution damage by flagellating yourself with a barbed lash as you pray to Ahriman. Benefit: Your true alignment becomes masked for 24 hours, or until you perform this Obedience again. Upon performing this Obedience, choose a particular alignment. You read as the chosen alignment to all forms of magical detection, and can fool both items and magic which respond to particular alignments.
just kidding about End of the World Month being over. It can’t be over, not until we talk about this world-ender.
Anyway THIS combo is very, very interesting! To my knowledge, Ahriman is one of the three deities in existence which allows you to mask your alignment, and unless I’m mistaken, is the only method in the game which does so for a full 24 hours without needing a spell slot. It’s not one that will give you an outright power boost like most benefits do, but it makes it much, MUCH harder for Good folk to sniff you out. Be careful, though, because your mask is so thorough and complete that you’re actually vulnerable to spells like Blasphemy and Dictum if you masquerade as alignments that those spells can hurt.
The mask can’t actually be dispelled, either, so anyone scrutinizing you can’t reveal your true alignment unless they keep you from performing your Obedience... But it also means you can’t just ‘pull off’ the mask to avoid being creamed by an alignment-reliant spell that gets hurled at you.
Speaking of the Obedience, though, this is a deceptively simple one to both perform and keep on the down-low. Flagellants are unusual--and often unwelcomed--but not unknown in many societies, and you don’t have to audibly pray to Ahriman as you beat yourself bloody. If you wanted to really push the illusion you could even do so publicly, chanting hymns to other gods as you scar yourself in “their name.” Whether you keep it secret or flaunt your status aloud, you may earn some sour looks, and perhaps you won’t be invited into polite company, but you won’t look evil. Just very, very odd.
The Constitution damage is annoying but not crippling as, say, Charon’s demand that you dull your mind every day, as 1 point of Con damage repairs itself the next time you rest.
The “primary” means of proving your devotion to Ahriman is also deceptively simple, depending on how hard you Murder Hobo your way through a given campaign. You may end up gathering a lot of possessions that mean a lot to other people, and the Obedience doesn’t indicate that they need to be sentimental to someone who’s still alive! So go ahead, shatter that bandit’s sword, which was gifted to him by his father! Destroy that sorcerer’s locket containing a memento of their one love! Desecrate and destroy that altar to Desna! Maybe even in front of the priests! Maybe not that last one if you’re among Good folk, though.
Unless you happen to be projecting a Chaotic Good aura and can convince them that the altar is somehow already desecrated and must be torn down...
It’s not a particularly hard Obedience to do, but it’s definitely finicky to keep doing. At least Ahriman gives you an out in the form of a blood sacrifice!
IMPORTANT NOTE: As Ahriman is neither a Horseman nor a Daemon Harbinger, you cannot take the Souldrinker prestige class to get Ahriman’s Boons early (without DM fiat). You must use the Evangelist, Exalted, or Sentinel prestige classes to get the Boons early, at levels 10, 13, and 16 instead of 12, 16, and 20.
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EVANGELIST
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Boon 1: Ahriman’s Word. Gain Command 3/day, Detect Thoughts 2/day, or Suggestion 1/day
Nice! Command is a decent Baby Save or Suck, and Suggestion is ALWAYS nice to see, but in my opinion the real utility star here is Detect Thoughts. Lock onto invisible foes, sniff out enemies through walls (some walls), read the minds of anyone who fails a Will save... It’s a pretty fun spell! Especially for finding out if anyone has sentimental attachment to any items in the area, so you can hoard them away for later Obediences.
Still, all three of these options are pretty good! Not particularly stellar, but useful.
Boon 2: Unassailable Conviction. 1/day, if you fail a Will save, you may immediately roll again and use the second result. If you succeed the second save, you receive a +2 morale bonus to attack and damage rolls for 1 hour.
This is actually a fairly weak Boon, all things considered... But it will absolutely, 100% save your life at some point. That morale bonus is actually you, the player, in real life breathing a sigh of relief as you wiggle out from under a Dominate, Feeblemind, or Imprisonment. Note that the ability only triggers if you already know you’ve failed the throw, so there’s no real chance of ‘wasting’ this ability preemptively.
The reroll itself is powerful enough that the morale bonus feels kind of unneeded.... But truth be told, despite its strength, when compared to other second Boons this is still pretty weak. You could have at least given it to your followers 2/day, Ahriman!
Boon 3: Force the Lie. 1/day, you may designate any point within 90ft of you to become shrouded by a 30ft mist of crackling black energy. You and other worshipers of Ahriman can see through this cloud with perfect clarity, but all others within the cloud treat it as Obscuring Mist. Creatures in the mist other than you must make a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 your hit dice + your Charisma modifier) or have all luck, morale, or sacred bonuses they’re benefiting from twisted into a penalty so long as they remain inside the mist. This mist lingers for 1 round/hit dice you possess and cannot be dissipated by winds.
Evangelists of Ahriman just kind of get screwed, don’t they? Being able to drop cover for yourself or allies and screw up enemy ranged fighters is good, yes... But 1/day as a capstone ability? That’s really, really pathetic.
Morale bonuses are fairly common, sacred bonuses get thrown around like candy for Good-aligned folk, but both of them are less common than enhancement and alchemical bonuses, which are seen in more or less every fight with casters and martial characters using magic weapons. I won’t talk about luck bonuses, though; those are so rare I can only really think of two sources... Both of which apply to AC. Suddenly going from +2 AC to -2 AC is a pretty big deal, I’ll admit. Twisting huge benefits into penalties is more powerful than I’m giving credit for, I’ll admit, and the power to do that to everyone in a 30ft spread means that it’s likely more than one victim will suddenly be scrambled by it. I’m probably not valuing as high as I should be, despite the fact that high-level enemies often come pre-packaged with morale, luck, and sacred bonuses, or slap them on themselves if they know a battle is coming.
I probably am. It just seems pretty weak in a vacuum, and no ability operates in a vacuum. Perhaps one of the biggest benefits to this ability is the power to drop it directly onto yourself to grant yourself some impenetrable cover; you can see perfectly through it, but no one else can, and it can’t be blown away or otherwise removed. Amusingly, even against foes who aren’t running with any bonuses that Force the Lie twists around, you can still curse them by slapping your buffs onto them to have them turned to penalties. Just... pray that they fail the saving throw, or prepare to get yelled at by your team for buffing the enemy.
Alright, alright, sorry Ahriman. This ability isn’t that bad. I do like the touch that if you can convert the rest of the party to your nihilistic faith, they can see through the mist as well.
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EXALTED
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Boon 1: Hamper the Righteous. Gain Protection From Good 3/day, Touch of Idiocy 2/day, or Bestow Curse 1/day.
Oof, Bestow Curse? That’s a real nice ability to have tucked away. It IS negated by a save, but it’s a Save or Suck that keeps on sucking with penalties that last permanently until removed. Being able to eternally deny a target half of all turns they’d otherwise take is painful, and if you’re the creative type, you can even whip up curses of your own to plague someone with! Perhaps every time they tell a truth, they have to spend the next 6 seconds screaming. Or maybe they cough up a spider every time they lie. Or maybe their hands twist any weapon they wield back onto themselves.
There’s a lot you can do with the creative freedom Bestow Curse offers.
However, if you’re not a fan of 1/days being negated by successful saves, how about Touch of Idiocy? Sure, it’s a touch-range spell, which I--a lover and player of squishy classes--tend to shy away from, but it offers no saving throw and docks 1d6 Int, Wis, or Cha off the target for 10 minutes/level. It’s unlikely to make much of a difference past level 10 or so... Unless you use it against creatures who have extremely low mental stats anyway, such as most humanoids. It’s a Save or Suck but without the save! Unless you roll a 1. But that’s why you can use it twice!
In an Evil campaign though, the one that really shines here is Protection From Good, a lengthy spell that shields you entirely from the natural attacks of Good-aligned creatures and gives you bonuses to resist the weapons and spells of Good-aligned people. If you’re not in an Evil campaign, or are just Evil vs Evil, then the other two options are much better (I’d personally run with Touch of Idiocy for the potential shutting down of melee people breathing down my neck), but Protection From Good is always a fantastic choice for the times when you plan to launch attacks on the good folk’s towns.
Boon 2: Pierce Obfuscation. You can see perfectly through darkness of any intensity, including that created by Deeper Darkness. 1/day, you may cast True Seeing as a spell-like ability.
You get Darkvision Except Beefier, so beefy that you can see even through the otherwise impenetrable Deeper Darkness. Even if something ELSE gets in your way, you can immediately invoke True Seeing on either yourself or another. Everyone should know the utility of True Seeing by now, hopefully; the power to pierce just about any illusion or magical distortions in the game, utterly ruining the ability for Illusionist casters to do anything fancy.
Still, despite its power and usefulness, this is also an incredibly boring ability. The only real flair you can give it is dropping Deeper Darkness onto yourself and being the only one who can actually see in it, which pairs well with the power to Sneak Attack, either your own (somehow), or by slapping True Seeing onto an ally who can.
Boon 3: Call For Ruin. Once per day, you may call you may call either 1d4+1 Ghawwas, 1d3 Shira, or 1 Sepid Div to your side. You gain telepathy out to 100ft with any Div you summon. They follow your commands perfectly for 1 round per hit dice you possess, but will not perform any action that’s overtly Good, and will not follow any order to save any mortal life aside from your own, and may vanish immediately out of indignity if told to do so.
As we’ll eventually see, this is a powerful ability! No creature on this list is below CR 10, with Ghawwas being amphibious, resilient and poisonous fighters, Shira being powerful front-line brawlers capable of creating their own concealing dust clouds on a whim, and Sepid wielding extremely spooky spell-likes like Disintegrate, Enervation, Hold Monster and Baleful Polymorph. In most situations, calling a Sepid to your side is the best option, as it possesses powerful utility spells, powerful blaster spells, powerful melee abilities, and the ability to Call Debris 3/day to blast everyone in a 40ft circle with 15d6 damage... but both of the other options have their uses.
Ghawwas can all use Hallucinatory Terrain 3/day to scramble the environment (which you or an ally can see through with True Seeng), and the Shira can hurl out Waves of Fatigue 3/day in between their full-attack actions. Shira make excellent tanks as well, granting themselves concealment with their Dusty Pelts until they can close in and rip enemy souls from their body with their Consume Essence. Ghawwas can deliver Strength-damaging poison with every bite attack they make, and in an underwater battle they boil the seas around them to weed out life incapable of handling the heat.
Ahriman is pretty generous with this power, though summoning fiends tends to make your obfuscated alignment impossible to hide any further. I wish summoning the Shira was more reliable (like 1d3+1 or something), but as I said before, getting 1 Sepid is often more powerful than getting lucky rolls on any of the others.
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SENTINEL
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Boon 1: Break the Weak. Gain Inflict Light Wounds 3/day, Death Knell 2/day, or Dispel Magic 1/day.
‘Break the weak’ is right, because Inflict Light Wounds isn’t going to break anything above 3 or 4 hit dice. By the time you get it, it’s maybe useful to patch up any undead in the party or deliver a humiliating final blow to a particular enemy, but beyond that it’s likely not going to get brought out.
Death Knell I’ll forever harp on; it’s a spell with only one real, inflexible use, and it’s only a moderately good one. It deals a finishing blow and grants you a buff for doing so, but sacrificing your turn in the middle of pitched combat to use it can end with you getting walloped by the target’s allies. It is moderately more useful for the frontline Sentinel than a typical caster, though.
Dispel Magic, though, has a thousand and one uses. Getting rid of enemy buffs or glamours, shattering illusions, removing debuffs from an ally, breaking magic locks... It’s a good spell to just have available, even at 1/day.
Boon 2: Serpentine Lash. You gain Weapon Specialization (Whip) and Whip Mastery as bonus feats, even if you do not meet their prerequisites. Whips you wield take on the illusory appearance of a live serpent, and grant you a +2 on combat maneuver checks to trip opponents. If a whip you wield has a +1 enhancement bonus or higher, you may grant it the Dancing Weapon ability as a swift action. You may have your weapon animate for 6 rounds each day; they do not have to be consecutive.
This ability is deceptively useless. If you’re a whip-wielder by nature, you likely already have both Weapon Specialization and Whip Mastery by level 12, and if you don’t, what in god’s name is wrong with you? Did you just roll over and die whenever something with moderately thick skin came along?? Did you devote yourself only to disarming and tripping opponents for everyone else to deal with??? ... Alright that one sounds pretty cool, actually. But still, whips don’t deal lethal damage to their victims and don’t deal damage at all to enemies above certain armor bonuses if you don’t have Whip Mastery, and it can be taken as early as level 2. Waiting until level 12 (or 16 if you didn’t take the prestige class) to learn how to lethally wield a whip is agony.
However, if you’re NOT a whip specialist... That means that you’re unlikely to become one. Ahriman’s sacred weapon is the whip, so a Sentinel of Ahriman doesn’t have an excuse not to have one, but since you’re not specializing with a whip you’re unlikely to break it out in combat when the boring but practical swords, axes, and maces are available.
The Dancing quality is a pretty good enchantment to slap onto a weapon out of nowhere, essentially doubling the number of attacks you make each round, but whips aren’t exactly known for being devastating weapons, and the animated whip doesn’t have your Str/Dex bonus to go along with it and can’t use combat maneuvers, which is what whips are basically for. If you already have a +5 Super Duper Death Whip of Oblivion And Destruction, slapping Dancing onto it can be nice, but enchanted whips are difficult to justify creating and even harder to come by in the wild.
All in all this is a very, very disappointing Boon that more or less reads as “you get a +2 profane bonus to trip combat maneuvers when using a whip. Also, 6/day you can deal maybe 3d3+3 damage to an enemy as a swift action.”
Boon 3: Crush Opposition. 3/day, you may cause a corporeal enemy within 60ft of you to crackle with a black energy that attempts to crush them from every angle. They take 10 damage per hit die you possess, but may reduce this damage by half with a successful Fortitude save (DC 10 + 1/2 your hit die + your Charisma modifier). Creatures killed by this damage are completely obliterated, all of their belongings falling to the ground. All individual items the creature was carrying at the time become cursed for 1 hour per hit die you possess, the curse blighting any nonevil creature holding, carrying, or wearing the item with a stacking -1 penalty on saving throws versus fear and insanity effects.
My jaw dropped when I saw this. This is a significantly beefier version of Szuriel and Trelmarixian’s third Exalted Boon, which respectively allow you to cast a nerfed Implosion, and a regular Implosion.
Implosion itself is a pretty nice spell, letting you put the squeeze on any corporeal target you can see (Constructs and Undead have no get-out-of-jail free card here), but its biggest weakness is that it can only target a particular creature once per cast, and it’s completely negated with a successful save. Not only will Crush Opposition’s saving throw typically be higher than Implosion’s (10 + 1/2 HD + Cha mod vs 10 + 9 + Spellcasting mod), but it still deals half damage even if they DO make their save.
At the time you get it, that means Crush Opposition will do a flat 160 damage to any victim you designate, and 80 damage even if they succeed. 80 will shave off maybe a sixth of a CR 16~20 enemy’s health bar and will outright kill most mooks the instant you hit them with it, letting you focus on the main boss more. Though this ability can only hit, at max, three targets a day... Well, Implosion can only hit a given target once per cast, but Crush Opposition can hit the same person three times. It’s a good trade-off, if you ask me.
The whole ‘all their items get cursed if they die’ bit is more of an amusing add-on than anything that could be potentially useful. Evil folk like you don’t tend to leave survivors that can reclaim the gear of their fallen allies... But maybe you’re not among Evil folk (which is impressive, considering that Good folk tend not to wield live snakes as weapons). Maybe you can convince your party that all that gear is really and truly cursed, but you can uncurse it for them! You’ll just... Hold onto all that loot for a while.
Not very feasible, given that you’ll likely have casters that can uncurse the stuff, but it’s still a potential roleplaying opportunity.
You can read more about him here.
#End of the World Month#body horror#Spiritual Spotlight#Sinister Spotlight#Pathfinder#Dungeons and Dragons
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Practicing Witchcraft: What You Should Know About Blood Magic
Blood Magic
‘Blood magic’. conjures up all kinds of gothic images, doesn’t it? The very word ‘blood’ is a real attention-grabber. Combine it with words like ‘magic’, ‘ritual’, ‘spell’ or ‘rite’, and usually thoughts fly to human sacrifices on a stone altar dripping with dark red and other images that look like something straight out of a horror movie.
As usual, the fiction is much darker and more stirring than the reality of it. Yes, blood can be dangerous— both magically and mundanely. But fire can also be dangerous, no one would think to tell you not to use it to cook your meals. You just have to learn how to use it safely and properly.
The truth is, blood magic can be quite potent if you’re inclined to do it, and if you know what you’re doing. It should not be undertaken lightly, or carelessly; but it doesn’t deserve the ‘taboo’ stamp that many are quick to give it.
Using Blood in Magic and Spells
The Power of Blood
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that blood is a powerful thing. This is something that is so embedded in us that we all understand it. Fear and awe of blood goes way back to our earliest human ancestors. The sight of that bright red fluid -- whether it was coming from an enemy or friend, your prey or yourself – got immediate attention. Blood is associated with such powerful concepts that some people can’t stand the sight of it, and might faint away if presented with too much. Hemophobia is the fear of blood.
Blood is associated with death: the slain warriors on the field, the victim of violence, the hunter’s prey all lay bloody in their final state. Blood is also associated with life: it’s part of the cycle of fertility that perpetuates life. If you lost too much blood, you would grow weak and die. If your blood is tainted, you will wither.
Blood is associated with pain: you see it when you stumble and fall, have an accident, or fight. Blood is also associated with passion: when you love doing something, when you are good at it, it’s ‘in your blood’. Someone you love, particularly family members, are your ‘blood’. Blood connects you to things, or others. Even if you don’t know someone, you can empathize with them, your ‘heart bleeds for them’. Blood is passion, it’s connection, it’s raw emotion.
Blood is life. It courses through your body delivering oxygen and nutrients to every part of you. Blood is energy—when you push yourself, your heart pounds and your pulse races as your blood flows even faster. A woman bleeds during her menstrual cycle, she bleeds when her hymen breaks, there’s blood at childbirth. If you donate blood you might be saving someone’s life.
Whatever little microscopic bits are floating around in there contain the very essence for all that you are. A scientists can (illegally) clone you if they had just a drop of your blood. Your blood contains your DNA—a blueprint not just for you, but your complete ancestral line.
Something that contains this much power is naturally powerful in magic. Perhaps some would say it’s too powerful.
Blood Magic is Not Blood Sacrifice
Blood Magic: No Harm Necessary
Blood magic is not magic that involves killing people or animals in ritual sacrifice. Let’s just make that clear. We’re not talking about laying some innocent creature out on an altar or in the center of a pentagram and killing it, or wounding it. This would be all kinds of wrong, not to mention illegal, and is not at all what I mean when I talk about blood magic.
Blood magic is the use of a few drops of blood during a spell or ritual—usually your own blood, but if you are casting for someone else you could use theirs (with caution and permission, of course). Those few drops can add power to a magical working in any number of ways.
Is Blood Magic Evil?
The first thing you need to learn about blood magic is that it’s not inherently evil. Blood isn’t evil, is it? Does it make you ‘evil’ or desire to do malicious deeds just because it’s currently inside your body? If not, why do you think it would it become ‘evil’ outside of your body? Some people mistakenly think that using blood in magic is ‘dark’ or somehow only associated with malevolent intentions. This is simply not true.
The negative connotations stem back to that fear of blood I spoke about earlier: fear of our own mortality, fear of power, etc., are the kind of driving factors behind a fear of blood. Indeed, if you are hemophobic, you might want to avoid blood altogether. It’s not for everyone.
But I come from a more objective perspective. I see blood – like any object or component you would use in magic – as simply a tool. It’s a very powerful tool, but a tool nonetheless. It’s neither benevolent nor malevolent in its own right. You could use it for any number of purposes, though like any other tool it’s not advised to use it for unethical purposes.
Going back to the fire analogy—I could use fire to burn down my neighbor’s home when they piss me off. I have access to fire, which can be a very powerful destructive choice if I choose. So what stops me? The fact that I am an ethical person who has no interest in hurting others. Just because I don’t want to hurt someone with fire doesn’t mean I shouldn’t use it. By the same logic, I don’t want to hurt someone with blood magic; just because I don’t want to cause harm with it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t feel free to utilize this powerful tool.
A good implement to have for blood magic is the prickers that diabetics use to test their blood sugar.
A Little Goes a Long Way
Practicing Safe Blood Magic
Before I begin discussing ways to use blood in magic, let’s discuss ways to use it safely. First, there are a few don’ts to keep in mind:
Don’t ever take more than a few drops
Don’t ever take blood from an unwilling participant (this includes animals because they cannot give consent)
Do not smear your blood on people, let people smear blood on you, or try to exchange blood in any way; remember that many diseases can be transferred through blood
Do not ever consume blood, either directly or by putting it into a drink; aside from the fact that you can catch diseases, blood itself is toxic to human beings. More than a couple of teaspoons can cause haemochromatosis and potentially do some serious organ damage.
Don’t let others drink your blood, either directly raw or by putting it into food or drinks; this is essentially giving your power over to that person, and not in a good way.
The correct way to perform blood magic safely would be:
Sanitize the area of skin with an alcohol pad or sanitizing gel.
Sanitize a small poking implement, such as a pin.
Poke only enough to break the skin.
Squeeze out your few drops to collect for your use
Clean the wound immediately and put some antibiotic ointment on it. If it’s still bleeding, put a bandage on it.
Handle and dispose of anything that has been touched with blood with extreme caution until the end of your ritual or spell.
Disinfect surfaces (of your skin and your work space), implements and any other tools after performing blood magic.
Keep the wound clean as it heals.
If you are a woman and you prefer, you can use your menstrual blood (moon blood, blood of the moon) rather than pricking yourself. You can catch menstrual blood easily with a diva cup if you need to temporarily preserve it for ritual—just don’t hang onto it very long, and all the same sanitary practices regarding care and clean-up also applies.
When (and When Not) to Use Blood Magic
I can't tell you exactly when and where blood magic is your best option, but I can tell you my reasoning: I use it only in extreme need for the most important circumstances.
I’ll use it for protection— not minor protection, such as if my co-worker is a nuisance I’m not going to use blood magic to keep her out way; but major protection, when there is a potential for serious life-changing threats (accident, crime, etc.)
I’ll use it for health and wellness—not minor issues like sore throats or skinned knees, but big health issues like disease, injuries, surgery or breaking unhealthy addictions.
I’ll use it for desperate needs—not minor things like saving money for a Disney trip, but big things like if I were on the verge of being homeless or starving I would use it to draw what I need to survive
That’s about it. I have more rules about when to never use it:
I never use blood magic unless I’m (or the person I’m doing it on behalf of is) fully prepared to accept whatever the consequences may be (which means thinking them through very carefully).
I never use it to target other people without their permission (unless, of course, it’s deadly necessary for protection; I had no issue banishing a violent family member who refused to leave my mother’s home and threatened my life with a gun)
I never use it in love or relationship magic; bonds between people need to be naturally developed, not forced. Blood magic turns a potential bond into a chain: emotional slavery.
I never use it to gain power; if you can’t earn it naturally, you don’t deserve it and probably won’t know how to wield it.
I never use it to bring harm to anyone or anything.
I never use it for vengeance or retaliation
Spell Casting with Blood
Using Blood in Magic
Now that you know the correct way to safely use blood in magic, let’s talk about how you might put it to use. There are countless ways, actually, limited only by your imagination. But here are a few ideas to get you started.
In candle magic, mix blood drops with oil to dress and charge your candle.
Use a small drop or two to anoint and charge any talisman or amulet.
In jar or container magic, add a few drops of blood to the container.
In petition magic, smear some blood on the paper the petition is written on.
Place a drop of blood in a mojo bag before tying it up.
Alternatives to Blood
Though not entirely as powerful as blood, there are other things you can use to personalize a spell and lend it a boost: urine, saliva, semen, nail and hair clippings, for example. These are all effective options that will lend power to minor workings, or workings when blood magic wouldn't be appropriate or advised.
When you're first learning magic, it's advised that you work with these first before graduating on to blood. Take some time, experiment with these things. You'll begin to get a sense of how much putting 'part of yourself' into a spell affects your magic.
Once again, nothing is inherently good or bad—it all depends on how you choose to utilize it. So practice ‘safe magic’ and you'll be okay.
-Mackenzie Sage Wright
https://exemplore.com/wicca-witchcraft/Witchcraft-for-Beginners-What-You-Should-Know-about-Blood-Magic
artwork: http://evil.wikia.com/wiki/File:The_Blood_Magic.jpg
#witchcraft#wicca#witchcraft for beginners#wicca for beginners#magick#blood magick#moon blood#blood of the moon#safe magick#blood
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A sacred act of rebirth means everything:
Christ’s resurrection is your resurrection too. This is why we are to yearn for all that is above, for that’s where Christ sits enthroned at the place of all power, honor, and authority! Yes, feast on all the treasures of the heavenly realm and fill your thoughts with heavenly realities, and not with the distractions of the natural realm.
Your crucifixion with Christ has severed the tie to this life, and now your true life is hidden away in God in Christ. And as Christ himself is seen for who he really is, who you really are will also be revealed, for you are now one with him in his glory!
The Letter of Colossians, Chapter 3:1-4 (The Passion Translation)
we see now, dimly, just a mirror of what is promised to be pure (Clarity)
Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 3rd chapter of the Letter of Colossians:
So it comes down to this: since you have been raised with the Anointed One, the Liberating King, set your mind on heaven above. The Anointed is there, seated at God’s right hand. Stay focused on what’s above, not on earthly things, because your old life is dead and gone. Your new life is now hidden, enmeshed with the Anointed who is in God. On that day when the Anointed One—who is our very life—is revealed, you will be revealed with Him in glory! So kill your earthly impulses: loose sex, impure actions, unbridled sensuality, wicked thoughts, and greed (which is essentially idolatry). It’s because of these that God’s wrath is coming [upon the sons and daughters of disobedience], so avoid them at all costs. These are the same things you once pursued, and together you spawned a life of evil. But now make sure you shed such things: anger, rage, spite, slander, and abusive language. And don’t go on lying to each other since you have sloughed away your old skin along with its evil practices for a fresh new you, which is continually renewed in knowledge according to the image of the One who created you. In this re-creation there is no distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian and conqueror, or slave and free because the Anointed is the whole and dwells in us all.
Since you are all set apart by God, made holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a holy way of life: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Put up with one another. Forgive. Pardon any offenses against one another, as the Lord has pardoned you, because you should act in kind. But above all these, put on love! Love is the perfect tie to bind these together. Let your hearts fall under the rule of the Anointed’s peace (the peace you were called to as one body), and be thankful.
Let the word of the Anointed One richly inhabit your lives. With all wisdom teach, counsel, and instruct one another. Sing the psalms, compose hymns and songs inspired by the Spirit, and keep on singing—sing to God from hearts full and spilling over with thankfulness. Surely, no matter what you are doing (speaking, writing, or working), do it all in the name of Jesus our Master, sending thanks through Him to God our Father.
Wives: be submitted to your husbands as is appropriate in the Lord. Husbands: love your wives, and don’t treat them harshly or respond with bitterness toward them.
Children: obey your parents in every way. The Lord is well pleased by it. Fathers: don’t infuriate your children, so their hearts won’t harbor resentment and become discouraged. Slaves: obey your earthly masters in all things. Don’t just act earnest in your service only when they are watching. Serve with a sincere heart (even when others aren’t watching), fearing the Lord who is always watching! So no matter what your task is, work hard. Always do your best as the Lord’s servant, not as man’s, because you know your reward is the Lord’s inheritance. You serve the Lord, the Anointed One, and anyone who does wrong will be paid his due because He doesn’t play favorites.
The Letter of Colossians, Chapter 3 (The Voice)
Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 17th chapter of the book of Jeremiah about choosing whether or not to trust in the Eternal:
Eternal One: Judah’s sin is engraved on the tablets of their hearts, inscribed on the horns of their altars with an iron tool, tipped with a diamond point. Their children remember their pagan altars and the sacred poles used in idol worship beside leafy green trees on high hills. I will see that My mountain in the land, your nation’s wealth, and all your treasures will be handed over as plunder to your enemies. I will even give your pagan high places to pay the cost for the sins you committed all over Judah. You’ll let this inheritance I gave you slip through your fingers. I will make you slaves to your enemies in a land you have never known because you have stirred My anger into a roaring fire that will last forever.
Cursed is the one who trusts in human strength and the abilities of mere mortals.
His very heart strays from the Eternal.
He is like a little shrub in the desert that never grows;
he will see no good thing come his way.
He will live in a desert wasteland,
a barren land of salt where no one lives.
But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone;
the Eternal will be his confidence.
He is like a tree planted by water,
sending out its roots beside the stream.
It does not fear the heat or even drought.
Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces.
The heart is most devious and incurably sick.
Who can understand it?
It is I, the Eternal One, who probes the innermost heart
and examines the innermost thoughts.
I will compensate each person justly,
according to his ways and by what his actions deserve.
Like a partridge that hatches eggs that are not hers,
so is the person who gains wealth unfairly.
In the middle of his life a fool’s money will abandon him.
In the end he, too, will be shown for what he is—a fool.
Jeremiah (to God): But from the beginning, Your throne of glory,
our holy place, has always been exalted.
O Eternal One, the hope of Israel,
all who forsake You will be put to shame.
Those who turn their backs on You will be written in the dirt,
because they have forsaken You, the spring of living water.
Heal me, O Eternal One, and I will be healed.
You alone can save me; to You alone do I sing my praise.
The scoffers keep mocking me, saying,
“Where is the word of the Eternal you keep talking about?
Why haven’t His words come to pass?”
You know I have not run from my calling—
I have been a shepherd to Your people as You commanded.
I have not secretly desired the day of disaster and sorrow.
You know everything I’ve spoken to these people,
because it was the task You’d set before me.
Do not turn and terrify me.
Be my refuge when the dreaded day of reckoning comes.
Bring shame on those who persecute me, but save me from that shame.
Bring terror on them, but save me from that terror.
Bring them to the day of disaster; shatter them, destroy them with double the destruction.
Eternal One (to Jeremiah): Go, stand at the public gate of Jerusalem, the one through which the kings of Judah come and go; then take up your post at the other gates around the city. Say to them, Listen, you kings of Judah, you people of Judah, you citizens of Jerusalem, and any who pass through these gates. Listen to the words of the Eternal; this is what He says: “For the welfare of your lives and the good of this city, be careful! Stop violating My Sabbaths by carrying your loads through Jerusalem’s gates on the Sabbath day. Do not bring your loads out of the house on that day—do not work at all on the Sabbath. Keep the Sabbath day holy as I commanded your ancestors all those years ago. But even then, they did not listen or pay attention to Me; instead, they stiffened their resolve not to listen or accept any instruction from Me.
“But if you will listen to My words and obey Me by not carrying your loads through these city gates on the Sabbath, if you will live differently on the Sabbath, differently from the rest of your week by not working on it, I promise Jerusalem will be your home forever. The family of David will always reign on his throne here. The kings and rulers of this land will pass through these gates in chariots and on horses. As for their officers, the people of Judah, and the citizens of Jerusalem, they will live securely in this city forever. People will come from Jerusalem’s surrounding villages and the towns and the regions in Judah. They will come from the territory of Benjamin, from the rolling hills in the west, from the hill country, and from the Negev wilderness. They will bring their burnt offerings and sacrifices, grain offerings, incense, and freewill offerings to the Eternal’s temple. But if you refuse to obey Me—if you continue to bring your loads though the gates of Jerusalem on the Sabbath even though I’ve separated that day as a time of rest—you will be punished. I will kindle a fire to these very gates that cannot be quenched, and all Jerusalem will burn—even her palaces.”
The Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 17 (The Voice)
to be accompanied by these lines in The Message:
“But blessed is the man who trusts me, God,
the woman who sticks with God.
They’re like trees replanted in Eden,
putting down roots near the rivers—
Never a worry through the hottest of summers,
never dropping a leaf,
Serene and calm through droughts,
bearing fresh fruit every season.
* * *
“The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be.”
The Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 17:7-10 (The Message)
A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for monday, August 30 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms
A post by John Parsons about the “essence” of Love:
The central message of the Scriptures is to turn to God for life... Rabbi Sussya once said, "There are five verses in the bible that constitute the essence of the Torah. These verses begin in Hebrew with one of these letters: Tav (תּ), Shin (שׁ), Vav (ו), Bet (בּ), and Hey (ה), which form the word for repentance, "teshuvah" (תְּשׁובָה). The five verses are 1) Tamim tiheyeh (תָּמִים תִּהְיֶה): "Be wholehearted before God" (Deut. 18:13); 2) Shiviti Adonai (שִׁוִּיתִי יְהוָה): "I have set the LORD always before me" (Psalm 16:8); 3) Va'ahavta lere’akha (וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ): "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev. 19:18); 4) Bekhol derakekha (בְּכָל־דְּרָכֶיךָ): "In all your ways know Him" (Prov. 3:6); and 5) Higid lekha (הִגִּיד לְךָ): "Walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8). In other words, the way of teshuvah, of answering God’s call for you to return to Him, is to sincerely set the LORD before you, to love others, and to walk out your days in heartfelt gratitude.
In other words, "teshuvah" (repentance) is an acronym that stands for being whole, seeing God, loving others, knowing God in all your journey, and walking in humility... [Hebrew for Christians]
and another about this week’s Torah reading:
Our Torah reading for this week, parashat Nitzavim (פרשת ניצבים), is always read on the Sabbath before Rosh Hashanah, serving as a prelude to the holiday. The sages found an allusion to Rosh Hashanah in the opening verse: "You are standing today all of you before the LORD your God" (Deut. 29:10), where "this day" refers to Rosh Hashanah, when "all of you" shall stand before the LORD your God in judgment. The "last" shofar blast refers to Rosh Hashanah when the dead shall be raised (Rosh Hashanah 16b), whereas the "great" shofar blast is sounded at the end of Yom Kippur, after Israel has received the atonement.
Rosh Hashanah has long been associated with the Day of Judgment (יום הדין) in Jewish tradition. According to many of the sages, the time immediately preceding the appearance of the Messiah will be a time of testing (nisayon) in which the world will undergo various forms of tribulation called chevlei Mashiach (חֶבְלֵי הַמָּשִׁיחַ) - the "birth pangs of the Messiah" (Sanhedrin 98a; Ketubot, Bereshit Rabbah 42:4, Matt. 24:8). Some say the birth pangs are to last for 70 years, with the last 7 years being the most intense period of tribulation -- called the "Time of Jacob's Trouble" / עֵת־צָרָה הִיא לְיַעֲקב (Jer. 30:7). The climax of the Great Tribulation is called the great "Day of the LORD" (יוֹם־יהוה הַגָּדוֹל) which represents God's wrath poured out upon a rebellious world system. On this fateful day, the LORD will terribly shake the entire earth (Isa. 2:19) and worldwide catastrophes will occur. "For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?" (Rev. 6:17). The prophet Malachi likewise says: "Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire,' says the LORD Almighty. 'Not a root or a branch will be left to them'" (Mal. 4:1). Only after the nations of the world have been judged will the kingdom of God (מַלְכוּת הָאֱלהִים) be established upon the earth. The remnant of Israel will be saved and the 1,000 year reign of King Messiah will then commence (Rev. 20:4). For more information, see "As the Day Draws Near" (find link below). [Hebrew for Christians]
8.30.21 • Facebook
Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research
August 30, 2021
Showing the Way of Salvation
“The same [a demon-possessed servant girl] followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.” (Acts 16:17)
Paul and Luke first witnessed to European unbelievers in Philippi and saw them wonderfully converted (v. 14), but a young “soothsayer” continually interrupted them, mocking and interfering. Paul cast out the controlling spirit of divination (v. 18), denying her owners their source of income. In retribution, they convinced the city leaders to have them brutally flogged and thrown into the innermost prison (v. 24).
But God had other plans. A mighty earthquake seemingly freed them, causing the jailer to prefer suicide rather than face capital charges for his “offense.” Paul intervened, and the jailer desperately pled, “What must I do to be saved?” (v. 30).
What would cause a Roman official in a decidedly pagan culture, who had heard little (if anything) of the truth, to abruptly turn to God for salvation? Certainly the earthquake had captured his attention, as had Paul’s behavior through his trial and abuse, but what made him think the truth was with Paul? Why did he ask for salvation from an incarcerated prisoner?
Perhaps during the trial he had heard of the slave girl’s testimony. In our text she had exclaimed, “These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.” Was this ringing testimony, given in derision but heard nonetheless, involved in his decision?
We can’t know for sure, but we do know that this was the introduction of the gospel to Europe. Surely God’s ultimate plan can be seen in the events at Philippi that day. Even the unknowing truth from a demonic soothsayer contained lasting truth. Christians should never hesitate to declare gospel truth, for God will not allow it to go unheeded (Isaiah 55:11). JDM
A tweeted question mark (?) by illumiNations:
@IlluminationsBT: DID YOU KNOW...some languages have evolved so much over the years that the most recent Bible translation in their language is longer easily understood. illumiNations also works to bring revised Bibles that are understood by today's people.
8.30.21 • 12:03pm • Twitter
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Prayer: Father, protect my family
We have been going through complicated times with health, unemployment, families splitting up and so many things happening around us, so today I want to pray for our families, for protection, restoration and an open door.
I know that today may not be an easy day and in the middle of it all, we still sometimes have family disagreements, which destabilize our home and seem to take away the peace. So, pray with me now for your family. I leave here a passage especially for you today:
15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
-Joshua 24:15
Remember that you don’t have to repeat the prayer exactly as I’m going to leave it here, because each one of us has a specific way of communicating with the Lord. But if you want to follow along, it will be a pleasure, feel free to speak it in your own way.
Prayer
Beloved God, I thank you for my family, country, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, I thank you for each one of them. I also thank You for all that You have given us up to now, for every deliverance and blessing that You have given us.
You know Father, things have not been easy, the world is in such a turbulent moment, many are losing their jobs, getting sick, and I worry about my family, so I want to put the life of each one of them, on your altar. Protect my home from all evil, free us from all viruses and other diseases. May unemployment not come to my home and may my unemployed family members soon be able to work again.
Please, Lord, protect my family from hunger and misery, that the larders be stocked. I ask for abundant health for everyone also, so that we can continue to do all that is necessary. I also pray now that every spirit of strife, division, and whatever is trying to take away our peace will now be rebuked by the authority that I have in Jesus Christ.
Blind my family from all envy, persecution, and greed. May we be good examples wherever we go, being vessels of blessing to other families as well. My God, Yours is the power, the glory, and the honor forever. It is in the name of Jesus that I pray, give thanks and ask that my words may reach the Lord like a sweet perfume
Prayer of a mere servant of God
God bless you!
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