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sungjinhos · 11 months ago

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I THINK WE MARRIED IN VEGAS

✷ You and Jeonghan have always been friends, and friends go on a trip together, right? And somehow friends always end up marrying in Las Vegas right? And somehow friends become roommates as well right? That all seems very normal when Yoon Jeonghan has a weird addiction to doing the dumbest things ever just for shock value.

✷ genre: comedy (?), angst, smut (minors don't interact)

✷ word count: 28.244

✷ featuring: Yoon Ttoram, Choi Seungcheol, Lee Seokmin, Kim Mingyu as the unnamed satan-spit roommate one night stand, and Xu Minghao as the gothic impasto painter guy.

✷ thea’s note: hey y’all this is my longest fic yet so I’m weirdly proud. I had fun writing this and trying to figure out how to build this Jeonghan and yes I did rewatched the birth of Ttoram while writing this. By the way - love you guys but the whole credit/debt/buying a house is just for plot I do not know how any of this works in America (and it is mainly set in America because I needed Vegas lol) <3 So bear with it. Also thanks to @wongyuuu for keeping me company in this nanowimo challenge, and thaks to @toruro Mika you are the best <3 thank you for reading this

✷ Smut warnings under the read more ✷

✷ smut count: lost count of how many times Jeonghan thought he was going to cum on his pant, 1 dick sucked, teenagers level of horniness, non penetrative sex still sex, a lot of kissing, a 3 second of cumplay still a cumplay i guess.

"Should we do it?" you hear Jeonghan ask, his face focused on something outside the car’s window. The lights of all the neon signs dance on his face and features—like a scene from a movie. He looks tired and overworked even though you are somewhat on vacation.

"Do what?" you ask, trying to understand what he meant. Maybe he was talking about a hotel spa and you missed the beginning of the sentence because you were too lost in your own thoughts? Yeah, a message would be a lifesaver right now.

"That," he says, pointing at one of the hundreds of little chapels in Las Vegas. This one has a deal sign in big and bold letters—an Elvis Presley priest, a bouquet, a professional photographer, and a bottle of champagne for half the price. Well, you never thought about off-season in Vegas, but maybe business was a little rough at this time of the year, but to be quite honest that did seem like a great deal—the shopaholic in you would fall for it if it didn’t involve marriage.

"Are you drunk already?" you ask. Even though you have known the man for years, you still can’t read Jeonghan properly.

Sometimes you think about how he is a book that is written in a different language, and you couldn’t have access to him without a dictionary on the side. Jeonghan does look like a classic—he is well put together, he is fancy, and he would be one of those books that have an embellished spine—the prettiest book on your bookshelf. But at the same time, he is one of those books that need commentaries on every page because somehow the author didn't care about giving enough context or didn't think his work would survive so many years. And one that the storylines end up being totally fucked up, so basically a Russian classical.

"No, I'm painfully sober," Jeonghan says while leaning his head on the window of the car. It almost makes you laugh when you hear the loud sound of him bumping his head, even the Uber driver who didn’t utter a word turns his head back. "It's just," he starts again, "I heard Seungcheol talking about it, and it seems nice to be married."

"What are you talking about?” you say in disbelief, “Seungcheol is not married yet, he is having a bachelor party in Vegas. He is drinking his weight in alcohol and spending the college tuition of his firstborn in the casino. You and him know about the same thing about marriage, which equals barely anything."

“Yeah but he did talk about all the perks—Oh thank you,” he notices that the Uber finally arrived at the hotel feat casino and all the Vegas shenanigans. Jeonghan holds the car door for you, like a true gentleman—you almost scoff. “What I was trying to say is, Seungcheol did talk to me about being married, it doesn’t feel like a bad deal at all.” Again, he holds the door for you.

“So we should just get married in Vegas because Seungcheol said it is a great deal?” you ask Jeonghan like he said the stupidest thing ever, which is partially true. It was one of the stupidest things he’d ever said to you, and you’ve known the man for years—you’ve witnessed a fair amount of his stupidity, all laced with his all-knowing smile. Every time you tried to understand what he was talking about it always left you feeling like this man was insane.

“I mean? What would you lose?” Jeonghan asked, crossing his arms after pushing the elevator buttons—one for your room, the other one so the door closes faster (he is one of those people).

“A lot?” you say almost laughing. What the fuck? It resonates in your mind, almost like the words are bumping the walls of your cranium, like the old Windows 98 screensaver logo.

“Yeah? Like what?” Jeonghan asks and the ping of the elevator makes sure both of you know that it arrived before opening the door.

“Freedom,” you say, trying to stay normal and not succumb to Jeonghan—you both hear someone saying,“Hold!” across the hall. Jeonghan just smiles and clicks the button to close the door. Maniac really, without basic education. To be fair though, it was a frat dude with another frat dude who could wait for the next elevator without dying, but still.

“Come on, you are a book editor. You love everything that has nothing to do with freedom, you love rules and everything that shackles you.” You scoff hearing Jeonghan’s words.

You want to argue, you want to kick and scream and pick a fight because is he basically calling you boring right? He is totally calling you the most boring person he’s ever met, and you are in Vegas - and still, somehow, you are the boring girl. But he is right about it—you do not leave your comfort zone, you do not do crazy very well, and you don’t even drink that much because losing control of situations makes you slightly insane. And Jeonghan is right because he is one of your closest friends, and you talked about it with him, he even knows how this is a recurrent topic in your therapy. Asshole.

“Well, still don’t give me the urge to marry you, your sales points are awful—how do you hold your job?” You ask side eyeing your friend, well, if you wanted to marry someone calling them boring is not the right way to do it.

“I do a better job when I need to sell to investors, I’m not giving my all right now since you are not paying me,” Jeonghan says, leaving the elevator and looking back at you. Well, not giving your all when you are asking someone for marriage - number two mistake.

“I’d hope so, otherwise your name would be number one in the next layoff,” you say rolling your eyes.

“Come on,” Jeonghan scoffs. “You didn’t hear Seungcheol talking about the benefits," he says, opening the door to your shared hotel door. The deal was to sleep in a weird hotel that may have bedbugs or share a room and a bed with Jeonghan in a more upscale hotel whose bathroom didn’t look like a crime scene. Not a difficult decision, to be quite honest.

“Is Seungcheol now a pro-marriage coach?” you ask, taking off your shoes and leaving your bag on the nearest chair.

“Probably, I mean, the side money would be crazy,” he says, taking off his watch and leaning against the table, again crossing his arms. “What I meant is did you ever think about the tax deduction, health insurance benefits, leave benefits? Also, Seungcheol did remind me that the bank raises the chance of getting approved credits if the spouse has a great credit history.”

“Yet he is the one marrying because he loves his girlfriend,” you remind Jeonghan, because apparently he is forgetting one the key ingredients of marriage in contemporary societies - love, affection, and a dose of “I love you but leaving with you every time you forget the toothpaste open is making me thinking about how life in hell would look like.”

“Right,” Jeonghan scoffs, making you even more curious.

“What would you need credits for?” you ask. Jeonghan is an unmarried and childless man, who works on investments, travels twice a year, and has a car. You on the other hand work in a crumbling industry - books, who reads books? - don’t travel a lot and your car is like twelve years old.

“Marry me and I tell you,” Jeonghan answered without letting the ball drop, quick on his feet like always, you could never catch this man.

“Tell me and I will think about it,” You try to pry.

“A house.” He says earnestly.

Again - you know Jeonghan, and you know your friend is a lunatic, but you also know when he is being completely honest with you. The man did want that house, which was completely weird. Jeonghan was a city guy, he was living in a rented apartment sure, but it was a great apartment, it even had a view. He worked downtown, why would he need a house?

“A house?” You try again, trying to get more details of what the heck is making your friend go crazy out of a sudden.

“Yeah, a house.” He says shrugging like it is the most common thing ever, maybe it is a well-known scheme of marrying for taxes and credits that you don’t know, maybe you are late. Maybe you are outdated putting together marriage and love in the same sentence, maybe, the world has changed. “Will you marry me?” Jeonghan asks you in his dullest voice ever like he is tired and completely bored.

“No.” You deadpan.

“Come on, at least pretend that you are thinking about it,” Jeonghan says, lying on the bed horizontally, his face is now closer to you and his legs are too big so they hang out of the bed, like a kid almost. “It has four bedrooms so you can move and say fuck you to Laurel the accountability girl.”

Well, that makes you think about it. He should have started with that. Maybe if he just proposed a new roommate scheme you would’ve said yes in the uber.

“I don't hate her that much,” you lied through your teeth, you hated that girl. You blamed the real state crisis because the rent was crazy, sharing the apartment was a good deal on paper, and half of the rent money went to your savings account so you could live in peace - Jeonghan actually advised you on how to save and where to invest if you wanted to retire quickly, but you never really thought about buying shares and selling shares and the whole ordeal.

“Fuck you,” He laughs, “every week I have to hear you complain how she lets food go bad and how it leaves your fridge stinky enough to make you almost puke, and that only happens when she doesn't food go bad on the kitchen counter or wait, do you remember when she forgets to lock the door two times last week?”

“Well, I am sorry if I have listened to true crimes podcast enough to be actually aware of the horrors of being a woman and how serial killers are out there just waiting for you to sleep with the fucking door open,” you say like you are the most reasonable person ever.

“And you are right, what I am saying is that I would lock the door so no one can enter the house, I would be a better roommate.”

“Sure we do not have to marry to be roommates we can look for suitable places in our price range,”

“Look at this,” Yoon Jeonghan says, fiddling with his phone, “It has four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, the kitchen is great, it has a backyard and a solarium.”

“Fuck-” You say, sitting on the bed, your thigh close enough to his arm that you feel the warmth of his skin, “that’s, that's crazy.”

“I know,” he says turning on the bed and closing his hand on his stomach like he is dead, just staring at the ceiling, “The price is not bad either, one of my clients is trying to sell so he can invest in a new startup so it is not actually in the market right now but will be in a few weeks so-”

“Did you try to get the loan?” You ask, finger still going on his phone looking at different pics of this completely perfect house. All the rooms were big, and with natural light - crazy. The Solarium looked like a thing out of this world. And you could see yourself living there, if you had enough money you could live the dream, but that house was just out of your price range. God, with that garden you could have a dog. Damn.

“I don't want to pay interest to a bank,” Jeonghan almost whines, because he knows how this whole thing works and how he would have to pay the loan and half of the loan because banks are greedy bastards.

“Can I have two bedrooms?”

“What do you need two bedrooms for?” Jeonghan asks, finally looking at you and dropping his i-am-almost-dead act.

“My room, one office,” you explain. You know the office would be the one with two larger windows facing the garden. Oh what a joy - to build a life you would never live, it was indeed one of your favorite hobbies, maybe that’s why you love books so much.

“Ok, I guess. I can make something out of the basement.” Jeonghan replies nonchalantly making you laugh.

Maybe that’s why you two were friends, you had a great time speaking nonsense to one another. You both just kept feeding into whatever fantasy you built, like reality could not touch everything. You and Jeonghan had this weird pattern of just sitting, eating and talking for hours and hours about whatever that had nothing to do with the truth. What would you do if you won the lottery? What would you do when you retire? What would you do if you woke up on a desert island? What would you do if your boss was imprisoned for embezzlement? Ok not the last one, scratch that, this one actually happened.

“I can give you 5% of the price tag, and we can share the loan if it matches my current rent price range, but we need to actually draft something with a lawyer later so we can only sell the house to ourselves, I don’t trust you enough to buy this house without a lawyer on my side.”

“Dude-” Jeonghan jerks on the bed, he sits and turns his body to face you. “Wait, do you hate Laurel that much?”

“Yoon Jeonghan, do you want a marriage to up your credit score or what? I paid my student loans in record time, the banks love me.”

“I don’t know if you are joking or not,” He tells you.

"Can you call room service?" You ask heading to the bathroom, while you tie your hair - like you are preparing yourself for a dire work task - maybe talk to a translator about a deadline, they are worse than writers, "I think we will need more alcohol."

"Wait," you hear Jeonghan's voice echo through the door, "are we actually gonna do it?"

You are joking.

And you know Jeonghan was too. With the years of knowing him, you knew that the majority of things that left Jeonghan's mouth had a shock value purpose. Induce distress first, we talk about truth later - or never. That made you 100% sure that you would never marry that man. You knew him enough - twelve years, since high school. He knew you as well - he knew all your teenage traumas, all of your romance fiasco, and he met all of your exes.

You would never, never, marry that man.

Right?

Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

When you open your eyes and the white ceiling greets you, you can hear yourself groaning almost involuntarily. Your head aches. You know you will regret everything that happened the night before, even though you don't know what actually happened, and what you need to hold yourself accountable for. But you know the taste of a life-changing hangover that has a side dish of regret and a cup of shame to go. But it couldn’t possibly be so bad right?

Ok, maybe moving your body was not the very first thing to do. You try to open your eyes again. Well, at least you were in your own hotel room. Jeonghan is by your side, his arm across your stomach and somehow his face is near your armpit. You try to sniffle yourself, but so far doesn't like you are actually stinky. Your deodorant was doing a great job so far, maybe it actually has a 24-hour action or something like that.

You try to lift yourself up, sitting in the bed, head in hand because everything spins. Oh God help you. Besides the headache you feel sticky and sweaty, and all gross. You can't believe you didn't shower, and if you didn't shower you didn't take your makeup off, and if you didn't take your makeup off you totally threw your 43-day steak of doing your skincare routine. Fuck. Maybe you could just delete the app, or pretend that yesterday never happened. Deal with the blank day that screams how bad you fucked up was not an option though, it would never happen.

“What the fuck did we drink?” You hear Jeonghan's hoarse voice. You take the hands off your eyes, the clarity feels like punching your cornea and brain, and Jeonghan's state is not very different from yours, his shirt is open and ruffled, his arms are shielding his eyes from the light entering the room, his hair is messy and he looks like he needed four days of sleep.

“Fuel? Petrol? Satan spit in a cup?” You answer dropping yourself on the bed again, every joint of your body aches. It is ridiculous how you feel trapped in a 90 years old body, and like that is not enough you feel nauseated beyond words. And every time you can feel and hear Jeonghan breathing it feels like it is piercing your skull, would be rude to ask your friend to stop breathing and just stay completely still? He would understand, right?

“Do you think room service can get us some painkillers?” He groans lifting himself up this time, “Or maybe a gun?”

“Can you call them? I think I will puke if I sit for more than half a minute,” you say, your hand going into your mouth as if it would actually help if the worst-case scenario happened.

“I think I can, the problem is that you need to get me the phone,” Jeonghan tells you groaning between words. His hand points to the object and there is no way in hell you are moving to get that, that would mean you getting up and turning and being alive altogether.

“I can't I told you I gonna puke,” you try to explain how serious your condition - also known as hangover - is.

“It is by your side of the bed" He groans again and yet he sounds just like a petulant child, maybe it is a gift.

“I can't I will puke on the carpet it only makes things worse,” you try again, “or worse I can puke on the bed, you included in the radio of the vomit you know it splashes.”

“Ok, stand still,” Jeonghan says, “don't kick me, I'm doing it for both of us”

And you do as you are told because being still right now is the only thing you can do - even moving your eyeballs seems too much right. So Jeonghan just dropped his body on top of yours, he is also sweaty, and he reeks of alcohol. Damn, he actually smells like gasoline. He picks up the phone and presses a few buttons. His body is still above yours, pressing into you.

“Be quick you are pressing my blade," you say after the surprise of having him against you fazes out.

“What the fuck do you need to pee or vomit? Ah yes, hello,” He says changing his voice in the middle of the sentence from something that says intimacy is a disease to his customer service voice without pausing, “hm do you guys have room service that includes painkillers?” He waits, nodding his head as he hears something before he remembers his on the telephone. “Oh okay, thank you, can you send it? Oh yeah great, yes if you can do that, yes, pancakes, toasts with poached eggs and avocado, coffee hmm” he thinks about it, looks at you, thinks about a second or two, and then adds, “Can you send us four cups of coffee? Thank you.”

Jeonghan finishes the call with a groan leaving his mouth, he places the phone on its holder. But when you think he will get himself off of you he only plops down, his body weight getting heavier. His bones poking your body, what the fuck he was doing with your elbow on your ribcage?

“Jeonghan what the fuck-" You complain, trying to kick your legs in a vain attempt to make your friend move.

“I got us painkillers and food, let me recharge for a bit stop complaining,” Jeonghan says in a dead tone of voice, almost like he is dealing with a kid throwing some type of tantrum - the only thing is that, in this occasion, the child is you and somehow you want to kick his shin, because you are the one right in this situation, and you could totally just plop down in a mall disgusting floor if Yoon Jeonghan was your father too.

“You are heavy!” You try again but somehow Jeonghan is stronger than you think and his body is still over yours like nothing is happening, maybe you are just dehydrated and fucking muscle-less, maybe the yoga wasn’t doing much when you almost killed your liver.

“I am not,” Jeonghan says, now he is the one being the moody child in the supermarket, maybe he will go off without parental supervision. Oh wait, this was Yoon Jeonghan he actually did wander away when he was out about with his parent and ended up three blocks away just because he saw an ice cream truck. Jeonghan was the easiest kid to be kidnapped, you ask yourself how he ended up being safe and sound, and in one piece.

“Just because you are skinny it doesn’t mean you aren’t heavy.” You try again pushing on Jeonghan bony shoulder, even that is pointy. “bones are heavy too, get off of me!”

“You kind of stink," Jeonghan says, his head still lodged in the space between your neck and shoulder.

“Well you asshole you are not better yourself, and you are stinky too and sticky like you showered in bear or something.”

“Maybe I did, I don’t know I can't actually think,” He groans finally trying to lift himself up, “We should shower,” he says sitting on the bed and looking down at you.

“You go first,” both of you say at the same time

You end up going first. Mainly because you needed to pee and you think that once you are up you may as well just use the opportunity to shower otherwise you would just drop dead on the floor and never get up again - you will be stinky and gross forever. Also, you think that if hell breaks loose and Jeonghan actually pukes you at least already used the shower. Back in college, he puked on the sink because it was the closest thing to the door, or whatever poor excuse he came up with, and that scene still haunts you, because somehow the sink was clogged. Ew, you think, finishing peeing and wiping yourself up. You wash your hands and say thank you for your past self because your necessaire is splayed on the counter, you pick up your face wash and head to the shower. Ok, let's deal with it. You need to wash your hair too. You open the register, letting the water hit your foot in an attempt to get just the perfect temperature.

You close and open the registers a few times - to fix the temperature, but you not gonna lie, to make up your mind too. But when you let the water hit your face - in an almost drowning attempt, you know you made the right decision, shower first was the only option. You let the water wash away for a few minutes until you are ready to really start your shower. First step - wash your face. Well, you needed to buy a new face wash this one was in its last few stages of life, you close your eyes and start to rub against your skin, normal, until you few something slightly different on your hand - almost like scratching the skin, you open your eyes and you finally notice, a band on your finger.

You turn your hand and it finally hits you.

It is a ring.

With a big rock.

In your ring finger.

A big damn rock on your ring finger.

“Yoon Jeonghan” you scream in horror.

On the other side of that door, Jeonghan just hears you scream. He actually picks himself up in record time and room towards the bathroom, oh shit did you just fall and hit your head? Did you break the glass of the fancy hotel shower? Are you dying? So without thinking much Jeonghan opens the bathroom door and he just finds you - completely naked and seemly okay, just staring at your own hand.

“What happened?” He asks trying to catch his own breath, maybe he does need to start working out man, he didn’t feel this horrible when he was hitting the gym after shifts, but also he didn’t feel that great either the whole gym rat thing was not his ordeal.

“What did we do?” You ask still in complete horror, not even thinking about how this is the first time Yoon Jeonghan, your friend is seeing you completely naked. 10/10 would not recommend this experience. Not even to Laurel, her satan spit roommate.

“What? Are you going crazy? I thought you fell and opened your skull or something,”

You just look at Jeonghan, dead in his eyes, like the reality is worse than falling in the bathroom, opening your skull and calling the paramedics naked. You just turn your hand to him - like it is enough to make him understand what a dire situation it is. And you swear to god you can almost see the little flakes of light on the bathroom floor, the rock is big enough to shine across the room.

“Did you call me to show me your ring? Couldn’t you wait until you put your clothes on?” Jeonghan asks leaning into the doorway.

“Jeonghan did we-” you say but you feel your own throat closing around itself, it can’t be right?

“Hm?” he asks without a blink of an eye.

“Oh we did, we totally did," you sighed, more to yourself than to Jeonghan.

“No, you are not that crazy,” he claimed. What is that even was supposed to mean? He was crazy enough for it but you the two goody shoes wasn’t?

“Jeonghan check your bank receipt,” you demanded, trying to connect the dots in a way, trying to find a physical proof, maybe you just bought a way too expensive ring for yourself, or maybe it was just impulse buying.

Before you can move Jeonghan almost runs towards the room, you try your best to keep up with him but you are a little behind because for the first time, you actually are aware of how naked you are. You pick up the fluffy bathroom robe - yeah the fancy hotel had its perks.

“Oh fuck” you can hear Jeonghan before you can see him, his phone it’s on his lap, his head is on his head - he is a man defeated.

“Did we?” You try to probe, but your voice sounds weird in your own ears - almost small, and the reality hits you, you are kinda scared. The reality of maybe having fucked up hits you like a trunk, you always been a nice girl, you never fucked up - at least not that bad, what would you mean if you married on a drunk whim?

“I think,” Jeonghan says, his hand on his greasy hair, fuck he needed a shower. “I think we fucked up real bad.”

You sit beside Jeonghan, you both staring at the wall ahead of you in disbelief. You are still gross, but now your damp hair is actually dropping on the bed and you can’t bring yourself to care. The fact that Jeonghan is motionless by your side without uttering a word is what freaks you out more. Jeonghan is not someone who is fazed so easily - his mouth is agape and his eyebrows furred, the ‘i-am-utterly-stressed’ Jeonghan feature is what freaks you out really.

“Ok Hannie,” you breathe softly. “That’s what we are going to do, I am going to shower, then you are going to shower, we gonna eat breakfast, then we are going to return this ring, then we are going to call Joshua, he is a lawyer, right? He probably will know what to do.”

“Joshua is a real estate lawyer,” Jeonghan mutters without blinking.

“Jeonghan focus!” You say getting out of bed, “divorce is a thing we don’t need to stay married.”

You take one of the longest showers in human history. You needed a good shower, but, the majority of the time under the shower you think about how the hell you got so drunk to marry Jeonghan. Some flashes of memory blink on the forefront of your mind every time you blink; a vegas chapel, not an Elvis but an Elton John in front of you, Jeonghan picking one of the most expensive ring in a fancy story. How the fuck fancy jewelry runs for twenty four hours?

Every flash comes with a sharp pain, the fucking headache.

When you get out of the bathroom the breakfast is already in the room. You take a bit of egg and toast just so you can shove coffee down your throat without having to deal with the stomach pain. You search the ring case and don’t find anywhere, maybe it is safe on Jeonghan’s thing, maybe he kept it safe, or you hope so. When you sit on the bed you stare down the ring, it is a beautiful ring and you are pretty sure it is something Jeonghan chose, it is beautiful, but at the same time, it is just too much.

You need to return it, no doubt about it.

You try to take the ring one and somehow it doesn’t even budge. You scoff, what a tricky little thing. So you try again, and again the thing doesn’t move. You can feel the drop in your blood pressure, what the heck? You lost track of the time when Jeonghan opened the bathroom door and you looked at him in shock, you look down at your red and bloated finger.

“This shit is stuck in my finger?” You say trying to take off one final time before just breaking your finger.

“Well, I think this is a good time to tell you,” he starts his voice all weird and over the place, “I kinda fucked up.”

“Jeonghan we are apparently married I already know we fucked everything up.”

“No, I-” Jeonghan begins, his hands now going through his washed hair, still wet and dripping on the floor, “I found a shred receipt and an invoice.”

“What the fuck?” You almost yell in pure knee-jerk reaction.

“I think it is yours now?” Jeonghan shrugs, like it is not a big deal even though you know that this ring is expensive, it must be, it has a giant rock and even though you know close to nothing about jewelry it looks expensive.

“What happened to us?” You question.

“You ask me? You don't remember anything?" Jeonghan says sincerely, and you know it is true. Jeonghan was kind of a prankster, he kinda did push people to its limit, but part of it was just doing fun things but also harmless shit. Like entering the beach at night, or hiding someone’s phone and pretending they did leave in the hotel so they can enjoy the trip without being bombarded by their special someone - read Seungcheol yesterday at lunch.

“Can we call Joshua?”

“I think we can do that later,” Jeonghan checks his watch, “I think it would be wiser just to show up to Seungcheol’s lunch and pretend that mini golf is fun, it would bring suspicious otherwise.”

“Jeonghan we married we didn’t commit a crime,” you say looking at him in disbelief.

“Do you want to deal with Seungcheol’s monologue about us getting married? I don’t think I want to deal with that with a killer hangover after a wedding walk of shame in fucking Las Vegas,” he drops. And God, that really sounds like a nightmare.

“Yeah,” you say looking at the big rock on your thing, “you are right, but we should probably still call Joshua,”

“I told you he is a real state lawyer didn’t I?” He says almost rudely to you, and you want to say that if you two are married both of you said yes it is not like you are the only one responsible for it but you try not to push his buttons.

“And what is your option Jeonghan?”

“I’m thinking about just getting drunk again so I can forget everything that is happening right now.”

What a fucking great idea.

Seungcheol is one of Jeonghan’s closest friends from college. Seungcheol just became your friend because you and Jeonghan were weirdly bound at the hip. You both shared your high school years, and when you two enrolled at the same university you only had two options, pretend you two didn’t know each other, or become conjoined twins. Jeonghan was a business major, you were enrolled in every class that had literature, poetry, or the name of a dead guy on it. But still, you and Seungcheol became great friends even though he is a finance guy. And Seungcheol was the reason you two were on a Vegas trip, the last trip of his life as an unmarried man, he had to make a sketchy deal with his fiancé in order to it to happen but still, according to him, it was worthy.

“Nice shot!” You hear Seungcheol's voice loud, bringing you back to reality. He is clapping as Seokmin - one of his other friends from work hits the ball down the hole.

Seungcheol’s voice, loud and clear, brings you back to reality.

Oh the joys of playing mini golf before lunch, you could spend days and days talking about how much you loved the idea and how every hole seems like a fucking nightmare but you are a married woman. Needless to say this whole situation wasn’t in your 2023 bingo card. You don’t pay attention when it is Jeonghan or Seungcheol’s turn, you wait until you have to put the ball in the hole, it probably takes you double the time, and then it starts again, ad infinitum. At least they are kind enough to not pressure you to perform like Tiger Woods or something.

You think about Jeonghan though. Somehow, he hasn’t changed. Jeonghan was the same Jeonghan you met in high school, of course, he matured and the years turned into baggage, but Jeonghan was still your friend who was playful enough to get married on a whim. Jeonghan was everything you weren’t in a way, somewhat playful and carefree, and still a very practical human being. Jeonghan was mischievous, but yet, not even once, he pushed you until you couldn’t take it, and that makes you think that somehow, with an unknown reason, in your drunk stupor, you wanted to marry Jeonghan, because hell can break loose, the skies can fall, but Jeonghan would never make you do something you did not want to do.

While Jeonghan and Seungcheol are busy hitting those tiny balls Seokmin stops by your side. You like Seokmin, Seokmin is kind, and you constantly think about how he is surviving the finance world, he doesn’t seem cut to it, but somehow he manages to stay alive against the monsters of capitalism, or, worse, he stays alive feed the monsters of capitalism. Ew. Seokmin’s face though seems focused on another thing, he looks in shock and happy at the same time, he probably did the whole hole in less than three shots you think.

“Oh my god,” He almost screams making you jolt in place, in all truth that was pretty much a common occurrence when your day to day involved Seokmin.

“Hm?” You question puzzled, looking at him trying to find a clue of something behind his feature when Jeonghan and Seungcheol finally join the two of you on the sideline.

“What is that?” Seokmin asks and you still without a fucking clue of what he is talking about. “Damn,” he says with his big smile across his face, making the tip of his nose get even more pronounced, “are you guys planning a surprise and I just ruined it?” His face changes in a blink of an eye.

“What surprise?” Jeonghan questions taking a drink of his gatorade like he was in the middle of an excruciating sport and not fucking mini golf after an unsafe amount of alcohol.

“That thing!” Seokmin cheered, and then it downs on you - the big ass ring on your hand, propped on the golf putter, and before you can hide it or chop your hand off the three man in your sight is eying the big damn rock that you forgot about,

“The what?” Seungcheol blurted.

“This is an engagement ring right?” Seokmin asks and you think about an ostrich, putting its head on the ground, you think you can do the same in one of the circuit's holes.

“No, it isn’t, how the hell they are engaged when they aren’t dating?” Seungcheol scoffs, acting like Seokmin is saying something that doesn't make sense, something that happened numerous times before, it could be happening again. It was happening again, at least to Seungcheol.

“We saw that one when we were looking for your fiancée present though,” Seokmin says all pouty and confused, and you think you almost try to defend his point of view as you always do, just because he is cute.

“It isn’t an engagement right?” Seungcheol asks

“It would be weird to be an engagement ring,” Jeonghan acknowledged the absurdity that envelopes the situation that you two are in, you want to try to take off the ring and just throw it across the field of mini golf, but a) it looked extra expensive, b) the three guys didn't even blink looking at your hand.

“Did you buy for aesthetic proposal?” Seokmin asks, "A girl that works with the human resources team did buy one just because she thought it was pretty."

“Of course,” Seungcheol claps, “I mean fashion was never your strong suit,” He says and it almost feels like a jab, “I almost brought that one, Jeonghan was dead set on this, saying it was the ring, but it was a bit on the expensive side”

“How expensive are we talking about?” You try to pry your body from reacting physically to the fact that Jeonghan shredded a fucking invoice and receipt, and the fact that even Seungcheol - the guy who buys twelves tumblers just because it was cute and ends up giving them away finds that expensive sets a new parameter of money waste.

“You didn’t check the price?" Seokmin asks, when you remain silent he continues, “Wow be you must be nice, balling and shit."

“How expensive are we talking about Seungcheol?” You try again, "Seokmin?" If you can’t return this damn thing at least you can try to sell it later. If you can’t find someone who can buy this you can sell for those weird and sketchy stores but you need to know how much you are actually losing on the deal, well, not you, Jeonghan but still, if you know the man he will just accept his fate and never move a muscle to deal with this ring situation.

“You really didn't check the price hun?” Seungcheol questions raising his eyebrow, like he always did when he couldn’t quite believe in you and it always made you feel angry with him. It was a tale almost, even when you were telling the truth he always raised that eyebrow questioning you, making you explain yourself.

“I brought the ring,” Jeonghan says nonchalantly like he is saying that he brought the bread on his way home. Jeonghan had this thing, a completely loath to let other people know his truest feelings. Even if he was one step away from a panic attack he would not tell you.

“Why would you do that?” Seungcheol asks again his voice is two tones higher, and you feel like he is questioning the two of you, and in his own mind he is the bad cop in the situation - Seungcheol liked that type of shit, and you think that maybe he is so into that because Jeonghan is his polar opposite, never giving Seungcheol a reaction.

“I told you I thought it was a beautiful ring man,” Jeonghan deadpans and take his fingers to move his bangs out of his eyes - making him look like a fucking prick, looking down at everyone else, and you know that just tickles something in Seungcheol. “What I am trying to say,” Jeonghan tries again, “is that the ring It is not an engagement ring because I didn’t ask her to marry me yet,” Jeonghan says walking by your side and enveloping your shoulder in an awkward hug. “I just confessed my feelings, it might be over the top a bit but you guys know I just had my eye on the ring.”

“Dude! Finally!” Seokmin says hugging Jeonghan, and you almost feel yourself choking on air.

When Jeonghan is free he whispers against your ear, his breath on your skin making you shrink, “Just bear with it.”

“What?” Seungcheol asks “Out of nowhere, you confessed your feelings? With an engagement ring?”

“Not an engagement ring Seungcheol we won't crash your wedding, relax,” Jeonghan says again, rolling his eyes.

“How much it was?” You try again dead set on finding out how much that was, apparently a new hyper-fixation.

“Babe,” Jeonghan says looking at you with a mischievous smile across his face, “it is not polite to talk about the price tag”

“What the hell I am watching right now?” Seungcheol bristled, more in anger than in frustration.

“It was long overdue really,” Seokmin gushed, in a terrible contrast to Seungcheol’s features, his voice is loud and his big smile stretches across his face, “I thought it was so fucking weird you two sharing a hotel room with the excuse of saving money, like we know Jeonghan has money,” Seokmin points to the ring, making your skin crawl.

“We are returning this,” you tell Jeonghan, your voice low while elbowing his ribs.

“Baby I told you,” Jeonghan appealed, grabbing your shoulder “We can’t do that”

“Like I personally found you guys always so weird like, I think I even asked Seungcheol if you guys were married in the past because you guys are really,” he moves his hands in a weird move in a way to mean how close you always had been, “like truly crazy and then I asked Seungcheol and he was like it is never gonna happen and I was like-"

And Seokmin goes on for about a good five minutes about how he thought the two of you were a couple, and in a way, you were so used to it that it didn't even startle you. The problem was that Seokmin truly believed Jeonghan’s lies, one thing was to think that you two were in a relationship - everyone had this basic reaction since the two were in college, even one of Jeonghan’s ex-girlfriend thought of, one of your coworkers too, Jeonghan’s door to door neighbors too, almost every single soul you two met. That alone was something you began to understand, yeah you and Jeonghan had a weird level of intimacy.

If you mash together your college years you can sum up in - of course, we do not date, of course, you can go ahead and kiss him in this horrible pub, oh yeas I am living in his dorm at ungodly hours just because we decided to binge watch a docuseries, oh if I am wearing Jeonghan's clothes? Haha He saved my ass because I doped the coffee on my clothes - ps. The coffee didn't exist, and his girlfriend did break things up a week later, Jeonghan swore it wasn't because of you. Once one guy broke up with you because when he smelled you he could recognize Jeonghan's smell on you, Jeonghan toke as his duty to just fuck up with that guy's mind for a whole month. He told you over and over again that the guy was wrong and basically called you a cheater, so you might as well plant enough evidence to give them the mental image - Jeonghan planted underwear on said guy's returning box, a note with his own handwriting with meet me in secret at the library, and even brought you a small dog plushie to put in the box and when you asked why he said 'he will think another guy gave you a present'.

Knowing Jeonghan and the fact that he loved shocking people this whole act today didn't really shock you, in the end, you were the only that understand Jeonghan, because you would never ever fall for this weird ass act. Your default reaction to anything Jeonghan related was a fair amount of mistrust.

“What are you two doing?” Seungcheol asks again, his voice is laced with suspicion and mistrust.

“Doing what?” Jeonghan asks, his hand going to your hair and placing it behind your ear.

“Whatever you guys are doing,” Seungcheol says pointing his fingers at the both of you, and you think it is dumb to even pretend something to Seungcheol, he knows you, he knows Jeonghan he knows nothing like that would even happen and you still don't know why Jeonghan is even trying to lie to him.

“Jeonghan-” you whine, marrying in Vegas is indeed something that brings you shame and regret but lying to your friends is even worse, how would you deal with that later?

You think you would prefer listening to Seungcheol’s monologue about how both of you are completely crazy, unreasonable, and unreliable, all of that rings true now. And it was Seungcheol, he would end up knowing somehow, even if you didn’t tell him now, you both would end up telling him. This whole scheme would fall like a house of cards somehow. You couldn't knock on Seungcheol door and say haha we were kidding, but Jeonghan could, you would make him do it.

“Seungcheol that’s actually-”

“What are we supposed to believe that after what? A decade you just woke up brought a ring and confessed your feelings?” Seungcheol asks, raising his voice enough to make you look around the damn mini golf to see if anyone is insane enough to care about this damn scene, “When you are a commitment phobe who has been on my ass for the past several months?”

“Look man, can you just drop it?” Jeonghan asks again - in the same aloof way he uses when he wants to piss you off, almost like he is flirting with the idea of being a patronizing prick.

“Of course not, what the hell,” Seungcheol says, his tone still on the angrier side “You didn’t even remotely tell us about this."

“Yeah well some people can actually keep secret,” Jeonghan says bitterly.

“What was that supposed to mean?” Seungcheol questions and just by the tone of his voice you know that shit is going down, you have seen countless fights between the two to know that Seungcheol was on the edge.

“It means that I can actually keep my individuality as a human being because I don’t have a crazy girlfriend who has trust issues so I need to overshare everyone’s personal life because she thinks you can cheat on her every monday to friday man,” Jeonghan quipped. He was not the one who loved to fight, Jeonghan was actually someone who would just shrug and resolve the situation later when it came back to bite his ass, but damn when he wanted to fight he was ready for it.

“Damn,” Seokmin breathed.

“What the fuck Jeonghan,” You and Seungcheol say at the same time, both in disbelief.

“It is the truth, isn't it?” Jeonghan chastised, “Dude you are traveling with friends and somehow the whole lunch was about how your girlfriend was pissed that you actually brought a ring to placate how angry she was."

“Jeonghan stop talking.” you plead, holding his arms trying to get his attention, to make him stop before things end up in a point of no return.

“Why?” Jeonghan asks you this time, eyes focused on you and not Seungcheol.

“Because you are being a fucking asshole now,” you say “This is Seungcheol bachelor’s party the man is getting married,” you try again like Seungcheol is not in the room.

“Oh you think I don’t know about that?" He says exasperated, "We are in Vegas and this motherfucker drink one beer and told us to go to our own hotel yesterday so we needed to get drunk and-”

“Jeonghan,” you say again almost like a kid tugging Jeonghan's by his shirt sleeve.

“We are in fucking Vegas and we didn’t visit one strip club and we are playing mini golf that something off about this whole trip,” Jeonghan says loudly chuckling at his own words.

“Are you seriously right now? You are going on a tirade against your friend because he doesn’t take you to strip clubs?” It is your time to act in disbelief - strip club? Seriously?

“Maybe if we were at a strip club yesterday,” Jeonghan says eying you.

“You know what?” Seungcheol speaks up. “Fuck you, you are uninvited by the way, you go on and on about how you don’t think I should marry, well, then you don’t need to show up.”

You and Jeonghan are left side by side on the mini golf field. Standing there while the world still moving around. You want to break out in laughter, you want to just laugh at how the two of your friends seem to wake up on the wrong foot, you want to knock Jeonghan's head off his shoulder, but you end up just walking to return to the damn golf club.

The whole way to the hotel you and Jeonghan spend in complete silence, not one uttering a single word.

And apparently - now you are the one that wants to start a fight out of nowhere. You are the one that wants to scream about how Jeonghan was being an unreasonable asshole. You try to wrap your head around his reasons, about why he would act like that and nothing that comes up in your own brain seems right.

So when you both are back in the hotel room - now with new sheets thank god, and less alcohol smell you just ask in the most nonsubtle way you can, you hold your own waist and ask like he was a teenager throwing a rude tantrum, “What was that?”

“What?” Jeonghan asks taking his time to take off his jewelry, watch the first thing, and later necklace, if he had any bracelet would be the third step of his routine.

“The whole Seungcheol marriage thing?”

“Well, you don’t have to deal with him drunk every Friday night telling you how overwhelmed and how he feels trapped since they set the wedding date,” Jeonghan says shrugging.

“You told me he was going on and on about how great marriage is,” you say sitting on the bed, trying to understand all the things you apparently didn't know about Jeonghan and Seungcheol.

“Yeah, he has his own list of cons in his note app," Jeonghan huffs, "every time he thinks about calling it off, I think I just memorized it because he reads more than once a day”

“Fuck,” you say in a breath. In your own mind, Seungcheol not even once doubted his choice to get married, not even once seemed unsure of his decision.

“I was the one that said Vegas," Jeonghan says sitting on your side, both of you looking at the widow that faces a fucking parking lot, "I thought that he would get drunk enough to actually mess everything up because he can’t do sober, and by mess everything up I mean breaking up with his crazy girlfriend."

“Yeah, still, you didn’t need to be a fucking asshole,” you say seriously this time trying to face him.

“Well, I panicked ok?" Jeonghan finally breaks, "I wasn’t going to tell that man who is having a daily mental breakdown that we married in fucking Vegas.”

“I mean, I don't know about you but I think your friendship with Seungcheol is more important than being lectured because you married in Vegas, Hannie,” you tell him softly, patting his thigh.

“Well,” Jeonghan says, letting his hand on top of yours, “I guess I can't be gracious always,” he says with a sad smile.

“I know you are stressed out," You say calmly, "but you lashed out at Seungcheol and it wasn't great,”

“The fuck you are defending him for?” Jeonghan says standing up and pretending he is searching for something in that damn room.

“Are you serious?”

“What?" Jeonghan chuckles, "he can go on and on about how I am a commitment-phobe type of guy who is fucked up enough to not have a fiancée like him and it is all good and fun and games? But when I call out his fucking weird relationship I am the bad guy?”

“Jeonghan,” You try but before you can even finish he cuts you.

“No, don't Jeonghan me, the fuck,” he retorted, “you have the excuse of not knowing because I don't tell you, you could think I am an asshole and a horrible boyfriend because every time someone breaks up with me even though I am a great catch,” he laughs bitterly, “You can do that, Seungcheol can't do that, he doesn't have an excuse, he knows why.”

“I never ever think about you like that,” you say sincerely because it is the truth, never once have you thought about Jeonghan being afraid of commitment or being a shit asshole. You always thought about how every girlfriend of his always looked and sounded more in love with him than the other way around, but that wasn't exactly a character flaw.

“I know,” he says already sounding exhausted.

“No I don't think you do,” you say sternly, “like it never crossed my mind really, I always thought about how they were crazy for letting you go, so what you don't want to marry someone? the fuck you can still have a great life and a great relationship with someone without a ring, and I know you are capable of it," and to your own ears you sound almost bitter, how they could be so dumb? To have a chance to have Jeonghan and let him go? “You have always been there for me, you never once wavered, I have no reason to ever think of you in that light and I don't think Seungcheol is being fair, he wasn't, but he is getting married in three weeks Han.”

“Yeah and I am telling him his girlfriend has been a freak since week two when she threw a fit because she was jealous of you,” Jeonghan says shocking you, "because according to her own crazy brain, you are way too close to men so who knows what you will do when she turns her back."

“Of me?” You say pointing at yourself, “Damn, she is crazy."

“That’s what I am trying to tell him, and he isn't fuck listening I guess.”

The whole afternoon you think about Jeonghan.

You think about him when he is lying in the bed on his cellphone, and you continuously think about him when you find him napping in the same bed. You think about everything you don't know about your friend, and you think about everything he doesn’t share with you, that he chooses not to. And you know every single human has secrets, and there are things Jeonghan doesn't know about you too. But knowing that it is one thing, dealing with the emotions that come with it is another thing altogether. Why he would not tell you? Why he would tell Seungcheol?

Those questions live in your brain, rattling and making sounds every time they crash against your skull. You think about your friendship as well. Jeonghan was always there for you. He was there when you had your first heartbreak in the third year of high school, he was there when Mark broke up with you in college, and he was there every step of the way. He was there when you were sick, he was there when your favorite auntie died, he was there when you were panicking before your first job interview, he was there. You just couldn't wrap your mind around the fact that someone would call a man like that a commitment phobe or break up with him.

And what he said was true in some way, Jeonghan never broke up with anyone, he was always the one who was dumped and weirdly okay with it. Every time you talked about someone who didn't know Jeonghan you always painted him as the perfect guy, and it was true - he had a great job and his bank account was crazy even though he worked to the capital devil, he was someone who ha they shit together too, he helped his parent, he helped his friend, his house was never messy.

Every time you broke up with someone you talked about how you wanted a guy just like Jeonghan, nice and fun, but also low maintenance in a way, someone you could just comfortable be being with, without having to try too hard and do too much. And every time you met someone new, you always trusted Jeonghan's opinion, if he vetoed someone he had his reasons, like the weird guy that two months later was on the news because he emptied someone's bank account because they let their bank account info saved on the computer or something like that.

If you thought about it - really being married to Jeonghan was not even close to the worst thing that happened to you. Founding a dead rat once in the subway was worse, or that time when you found out that your roommate left the door open for weeks before you just never went to sleep before her just so you could make sure to close the door, and 95% of the time she didn't close the fucking door, that was worse than being married to Jeonghan.

“The fuck?” Jeonghan groans.

“What?”

“Apparently I messaged my account manager our marriage certificate asking if he could officialize the house-buying proposal, and apparently the bank green flaged it? The owner needs to accept the proposal of course, and it may take a while but-" Jeonghan stops halfway, almost like zooming out, staring at the wall ahead of him.

“I guess you are soon to be a house owner?” You question bringing Jeonghan back to reality.

“No, no-"

“Seriously if it is something that is helping you I don't mind, we can come back to Vegas a few weeks after the deal to annul it I looked up online it is not that hard we just need the documentation and the wedding certificate so," and it was true - you did research how to deal with the whole thing, it seemed easy, maybe that's why they actually let people marry crazy drunk, so they can pay to annul it and the city double the revenue, apparently crazy amount of drinking and casinos were not paying the bill.

“About that,” Jeonghan says, his hands tugging the sides of his hair.

“About what?” You ask.

"The wedding certificate,” he says, finally looking at you, his eyes big and still puffy because of his nap, “I think, I mean- I am pretty sure it is shredded with the receipt and invoice."

“What the fuck Jeonghan?” You shout, oh man, you are going to kill this man. The image is already on your head - jumping on that very same bed like a crazy woman and kicking him before you just kill him with your bare hands.

“I know,” he says almost in a grunt, laying down like a starfish.

“Why did you shred everything up for god's sake," you say almost stopping on the floor.

“I don't know okay?" Jeonghan says, sitting on the bed now, his cellphone forgotten, "Why did we marry? Can you answer that?”

“OOh," you huff, "We did get married, but I am soon to be a window if I don't kill in the next five minutes I swear to god”

“Wait, what changed if it is helping me?” Jeonghan says, back to his mischievous self, with a small smile across his face almost finding endearing the way that you try to threaten his life.

“You are making everything argh-” You are losing your damn mind and if you end up crazy it is Jeonghan's fault, now that he is indeed your husband has another tingle to you like a thriller movie, but you are afraid you are in your own Cameron Diaz Ashton Kutcher low budget 00's movie. Maybe you should take the whole thriller movie, it seems, weirdly, less weird. "First we cannot return this ring now I have to find someone who wants to buy it without documentation so everyone will think this shit is totally fake, I mean I would too, don't get me wrong I wouldn't trust myself either with this jewelry," you go off - almost missing the point, rambling really, before you get back to the point, "now we need to find a second copy of this certificate I swear to god we could just go to the nearest courtroom and annul the wedding I googled it."

"I already told you you can keep the ring," Jeonghan says - voice low in contrast to your high-pitched complaints.

"Why would I keep this ring Jeonghan?" You question, it sounds weird in your own ears.

The truth is, you did love the ring, it is a beautiful ring but the truth is - you can't keep it. It shouldn't be yours to keep. It should go to someone Jeonghan wants to actually marry, even though you can't bring yourself to take it off your finger, even though you didn't even try to take it off after this morning.

And a breath almost gets locked in your throat. Why? You think, and deep down you know you have your answer but you just shove everything down when you hear Jeonghan's voice, "Well If you sell it I won't take the money."

"I can just pour it into my savings accounts," you say petulantly.

"The fuck," Jeonghan bites back.

"What? You said you didn't want it so I can keep the money," You try your best to sound even close to someone somewhat rational in this matter.

"It is a present you can't sell a present," Jeonghan though, never has a problem looking like he is saying the most rational thing ever even when it doesn't make any sense.

"I totally can," you bite back trying to hold your ground just out of pure spite. He didn't accept that cursed ring which is not even supposed to be yours why the hell he is making such a big deal of you selling or throwing it in the sea?

"You can't," Jeonghan says again, and you think back to your friendship and a lot of times it was like that - a lot of things without proper explanations.

"Why not?" So you just hold your ground - again, he will not win this one, this time he will have to explain.

"Because it is a present I picked up for you. I actually thought about it, I mean before drinking buying apparently, but I thought it would suit you" Jeonghan says, "Just don't sell, if you don't want to use it okay fine but just, just don't sell it, don't hurt a man's pride like that,"

You want to try again - to say you will sell this damn ring if you go to the store and it can't be returned, and you want to say you will throw it on the nearest river because Las Vegas is indeed very far from the sea. You want to push him until he says okay I take the damn ring and I will hold onto it and pass it through generations. But when Jeonghan speaks and he sounds so tired and so hurt you just give up and lock yourself in the bathroom pretending to take a shower before leaving this hellhole of a place.

You look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how the hell everything happened in such a short amount of time. A marriage, a fight, a ring that makes you go crazy. Maybe you are closer to having a breakdown, maybe it is the time to face things that you are trying to keep hidden under the rug. You think that maybe it is time to just downpour everything.

But like always, you don't. You bottle everything up and pretend that everything is fine.

The last few days in Vegas have been less eventful, thanks God. Jeonghan and you go to weird restaurants and for a walk around the town, and you think about how you got married in the city of Sins.

At least it is fitting to think that pride and wrath have something to do with your own stay in this city.

You often think about Seungcheol, sending him and Seokmin a message or two, or a total of 15. Seokmin answers you, Seungcheol doesn't. And you need to hold yourself back when you type down a fuck you but don't send. You try to pry on Jeonghan's end too, but after the third time that he just doesn't answer you with words but just a cold stare you just let it go. Maybe that's why Seungcheol and Jeonghan have been friends for so long - pieces of the same cloth.

The flight back is not that tricky but at the same time when Jeonghan drops you out at your door, you are ready for a 30 minutes shower and drop dead for a whole week. When you open the door you are glad that your roommate at least remembered to close and lock the door. Character development you think, maybe she is getting better, maybe you don't need to actually move into Jeonghan's house as a safety precaution. But something doesn't seem quite right - there is a new sofa in the living room, which isn't exactly a problem, really, your sofa kinda sucked. But when you look again, you understand what is missing.

No, she didn't, she would not be that crazy. You refuse to believe that. You left all your luggage in the middle of the living room and ran to your bed, maybe she put the side table there, of course, maybe she just moved because the new sofa seems bigger. But there is nothing that resembles the side table in your room, so you try again - her room now, still nothing.

You send a message.

You try to call.

So you try the next best thing - call Jeonghan so he can calm you down. He doesn't pick up. You sit on the floor, right beside your luggage, and you refuse to sit down on that sofa, it is pretty it seems comfortable but now is the object that you hate the most. You would prefer, I don't know, to take part in a scientific experiment that might fuck up your brain function than sit down on that thing.

The concept of time and space is a funny thing you think when you lose count of how many minutes or hours you have been staring at the door, it has been probably a long time. Until your roommate opens the door with a big guy by her side, great, all that you needed was an audience for your lash out.

"Oh," she says, big guy with his big hands on her hips and he knows he is not getting laid today, because he sees you and he gets so upright he seems like a fucking power pole, "I didn't know you would be back today."

"Laurel, darling, where is my side table?" You ask without beating around the bush.

"Oh right," she says letting her keys on the counter without fucking locking the door you have never been closer to a have a fucking stroke, you can feel your blood pressure rising, "the sofa was a bit bigger, you know I told you I was thinking about changing and this was on discount, but the table didn't really had a place in the room anymore so I put on marketplace a cute girl come up to pick in the same day, great right?"

You blink once, twice, and the words don't even come, you are so astonished that you are left speechless. Maybe you could get over the unsaid desire of getting murdered by a serial killer, and maybe you could get over the leftover food on the counter, and you could even get over the whole singing in the shower when you are fucking tone-deaf really.

But that. That was one thing you could never get over.

"Are you fucking insane? Are you fucking crazy?" You ask, the big guy taking a step back, "Or do you just have fun being the most self-centered bitch in this part of the country?"

"What the fuck?" She says, and oh god, you want to jump on her bones, you want to leave this woman bald.

"Did you ask Laurel?" You ask again, remaining sitting on the floor because if you pick yourself up you are probably no longer be a first-time offender. "Did you ever think about asking if you could sell, give or even create a fucking bonfire with the wood of my deceased auntie's side table? Did you fucking asked?"

"Oh I didn't know," she says simply. You feel the tears streaming down your face and you don't actually know if it is because of sadness or anger.

"So funny Laurel because I don't even fucking know how you function like a human being because your brain is so fucking empty of common sense really," you bristled, finally getting up and picking up your big backup, "Look I don't know how I don't care really, it is up to you, but you get my table back in perfect state, and you will pay this month rent fully because I am not living with you I would prefer Satan as my roommate really, and you may as well find another roommate because I will not move a muscle to put someone inside this apartment," You say moving past Laurel and the crazy big guy, "and by the way Laurel? I would fucking lock the door today you don't really think about how many insane people leave in this world."

You say finally get out of the apartment.

You don't really stop walking because you are afraid you will just fall on the ground, crying in the middle of the street in the fetal position, not really a pretty picture. You know Jeonghan's house is not really far, a twenty minute walk. You wish you had an epiphany when you see yourself at his door, a moment to say 'wow why am I here?'. But you know yourself enough to know why, you know Jeonghan enough to know why you are at his door.

You know Jeonghan will open the door for you, and you hope deep down that he will hunt Laurel-the-sattan-spit-roommate down.

When Jeonghan opens the door, he looks puzzled, his face shows that he is trying to understand what is happening. You are sure he was ready to say that he didn't order something and to check on his neighbor.

"What happened?" Jeonghan asks when he sees you on his door instead of a lost delivery guy.

"Laurel," you say, and before having the chance to say anything else, you already feel the pain, you don't want to cry but you end up doing that nonetheless. You even hiccup once or twice before you feel Jeonghan's arms against you, enveloping you, making you feel safe.

"What did she do?" Jeonghan tries again, one of his hands still around you, while the other cradles your head, his hand softly stroking your head.

"She sold my side table," you say, still hiccuping your way through the sentence and you feel so fucking dumb, crying in Jeonghan's arms, and you feel Jeonghan's body goes completely rigid before he holds your face in his hands and you almost flinch because you cannot face that man in this state, and second, his hands are cold.

"She sold your side table?" He asks and you just nod, it is the only thing you can do, "The side table?" He tries again just to receive the same reaction, his hands wrap around you, but this time he hugs you tighter, your head smashed against his chest and somehow you find a resemblance of comfort.

Jeonghan takes you to the kitchen, and when you feel his arms release you, you just sink to the ground, your back to the cabinets. Jeonghan hands you a cup of water, and hugs you again, his hands rubbing your back like you are some kind of a toddler, and that alone makes you sniff even more. That motion alone takes you back to your college days when you went back home to your auntie's funeral - Jeonghan drove the whole way, and the only sound inside the car was you crying. Back then you didn't know that Jeonghan lost an important exam so he could drive you back home, later when he was pilled with an ungodly amount of work and told you he needed to do an extra project so he didn't fluke his class you cried all over again - part of it because you felt guilty, part of it was because it was Jeonghan, and you could count on him for anything.

And here he was, years later taking care of you again. You never doubt he would, that alone - the certainty that Jeonghan is in your life should scare you, but it never did. Not now, and not even back in college when Seungcheol joked about every time a new girl showed up alongside Jeonghan. Somehow you knew that Jeonghan would be there if you needed him, if you ever shouted that man would run leaps. The thing was, Jeonghan never told you anything remotely close to make you believe that, he never promised you anything, but Jeonghan actions always reassured you that no matter what, he would be there if you needed him the most.

You think about it how - weirdly - you were never in that position, how you never once was that person to Jeonghan, the person that reassure Jeonghan or be someone he could lean on. There is a deep down desire that you don't quite acknowledge over the years - that you want to be someone important to Jeonghan. Someone as important as Jeonghan is to you.

When you feel you can finally breathe you get out of Jeonghan's hold to go to the bathroom, in a way searching a way to escape your own feelings and thoughts, pretending you just need to wash your face. When you return to the kitchen, Jeonghan is in the same place, sitting on the floor staring at his own hands. Now, calmer, you take the whole scene of the kitchen; the single glass of wine on the counter, the open bottle, Jeonghan's cellphone, and his notebook.

“Were you drinking?” You ask after a while, sitting on his sides and copying his positions - legs stretched and back flushed against the cabinets. The hiccups are still there but they’re less frequent now, and you can finally breathe on your own.

“Yeah I was,” Jeonghan says, stretching his legs and looking at his feet cladded with old socks.

Jeonghan thinks about the minutes before you arrived, how he was just scrolling on his phone and drinking alone because his mood was so dreadful that he didn't want to make anyone suffer in his company. The only person he would subject to a vent session was Seungcheol, so drinking alone was the only answer. The truth is plain and simple really - Jeonghan has been feeling miserable for quite some time now, mainly because even though it pays extremely well his job sucks. He works for and with shitty people, but it pays well, so that should be enough - why it isn't? But all of that seems so fucking small against the feeling of you losing the last physical thing of someone you loved, someone who was so important to you.

“Why were you drinking alone Jeonghan?” You ask, giving his thigh little taps but still looking ahead - you see yourself in the mirror, you are so swollen you can't face the man like that.

“I,” Jeonghan ponders, thinking about if it is the right time to just go on a tangent about how he works sucks, how his best friend isn't talking to him, and how he wants to go back to his high schooler self and just start everything over, even if he fucks everything over is way better than this gray area that he is stuck on. “We can talk about me another time,”

“Just," You breathe deeply, your head almost knocking against the counter door, "do it for me then,” you tell him softly, almost pleading, “tell me so I can take my mind off this shit.”

“I think,” Jeonghan says, “no, scratch that,” he laughs dryly, “I am sure that I am fucking miserable,” he looks at you waiting for your reaction, “and I’ve been miserable for a while, I just fucking hate everything,”

“Han-” you try to say, and you almost feel like you don't have tears anymore, but if you could physically cry you would.

“I am not depressed, don’t worry, I just,” he trails off, “I hate that fucking job and if I have to spend another year there I would probably kill a rich guy, I have a few investments, and I have savings, and I-”

“You should buy the house,” You blurt out, remembering Jeonghan's eyes looking at the pictures of the house.

“What?” Jeonghan says almost choking on nothing.

“You should buy the house, just give me one room and I will pay rent, we can share utilities and food, and then you can quit,” you declared like it was something people just do on a whim, like you are not even having a stroke just thinking about the process of ending your lease contract, but the sky can open you are not sharing another day in that apartment.

“Not a great deal when I have a fucking loan on my name,” Jeonghan bemused, almost laughing at your non-sense.

“Just don’t tell the bank,” you shrug.

“Well,” Jeonghan says, almost like he is trying to assess the situation, see how everything could plan out from different angles.

“Come on, tell me,” You say finally caving into your curiosity, poking Jeonghan with your elbow.

“Tell you what?” Jeonghan asks but you can feel the playful tone in his voice, almost a childlike wonder of being caught doing something he shouldn't do.

“What is the plan?” You whisper - you don't know why but this whole thing seems like a secret, like something Jeonghan doesn't want to see the light of day yet, something he has been keeping under wraps.

“What plan?”

“I know you Jeonghan," You say finally looking at him, a small smile still stretched across his face, "I have known you for quite a while, come on, don’t underestimate me,”

“What are you talking about?” Jeonghan says playing the fool but the smile is still there, making you probe a little bit more.

“I know you, you would never think about quitting without a black plan besides having a few savings and weird investments, tell me,” You almost pleaded, turning your body to him, your hands on his thighs supporting your own weight on him. And you know you need to bring out the big guns - the begging eyes, almost laughing at yourself.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan laughs at you, his head tilting back and all, like you are the most amusing creature ever.

“Come on,” you urge, using your hands on his leg to almost shake him.

“It is not a plan, it is a desire,” he begins, “I’m thinking about sitting down and doing a few design classes, it can be online but,”

“No-” You say surprised, your smile big across your face because you know where this is going.

“Maybe,” he says still leaning on the counter, eyes closed and that infuriating smile still on.

“You can totally do it,” you tell him almost jumping on your place.

“It is not a plan yet,” he explains, in a vain attempt to make you tone down your excitement, but every time he looks at you he thinks he can give you that, soothe your pain with his dreams and hopes that won't really get out of paper. At least today he can do that for you.

“I can help you,” you say, finally changing positions and sitting almost by his feet, facing him, Jeonghan's hand on your ankle.

“How can you help me?” He asks you, squeezing your ankle and you pretend you are going to kick him, but he just holds your ankle and puts it on his lap.

“We can do it,” you say completely seriously because you truly believe he can do it, achieving his teenage dream job. “You know me, I am an army general, I have discipline, and I love a good worksheet, I am an editor,"

“What you being an editor has to do with it?” Jeonghan says while he tickles your feet, making you almost jerk.

"Stop that," you say using your other to nudge him, "I did a few children's books mind you,” you say, using your free hand to pinch Jeonghan's feet in the form of a threat, “I know how to promote things, I know how to deal with due dates and with manufacturers, you just need to sit down after lunch watch your boring ass class like a college student and hand your resignation letter,”

“It is not something that will actually work and be profitable,” Jeonghan huffs.

“Jeonghan, be honest with me,” you say, this time in a more serious tone.

“Okay,” He says, hands leaving your feet and closing together on his stomach.

“Would you ever take that leap with you couldn’t live till 90 years old with the money you have on the back?” You joke, breaking him in half, his laughter resonating in the kitchen.

“No?” He jokes back.

“We are doing it,” you say like his opinion in his own laugh and plans don't actually matter that much, but Jeonghan just smiles back at you - sometimes, he thinks about how you are the only one who can actually match his insanity, the only one that goes with his plan, or come up with even weird ones.

And Jeonghan knows he is fucked, because every time he thinks he can’t love you more you show him that love grows and expands beyond borders. Lately, Jeonghan favorite song is My Love Mine All Mine, and when he looks at you, in his kitchen, face still swollen and red from crying Mitski sings in his ear - Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine Nothing in the world is mine for free But my love, mine, all mine, all mine. It resonates with him, the fact that his love for you is his to carry. And this alone makes Jeonghan happy in a weird way, because he knows how much love you deserve, and he is happy that he is the one that loves you, and he loves you for free.

Even though Jeonghan knows you don’t love him like he does love you he thinks about how you are the only person that is always there for him. Everyone that he knows would make Jeonghan just let it go. Why the fuck he would build a business around children’s toys? Why would he resign and leave a great career that gives enough money and intel to just go around and draw a few rabbits and frogs on a page? Just because of joy? Jeonghan always knew that joy alone could not make you survive on this earth.

But yet you were doing just that. Telling him to drop everything and just try to be happy. Right now Jeonghan could drop on his knee and ask you to marry him if you weren’t legally married and if he wasn’t a fucking coward. Sometimes he hates himself for that, the way he holds onto something he knows it is not quite enough but it is the only thing he can have.

Jeonghan thinks about- everything really, but mostly how joyful you are in your own way. How you would buy sweet treats just for the sake of it, how you had every single first copy of the books you worked on even if they were beaten in the process and almost unreadable. He thinks about the first time you showed up on his door, a big book in hands and a smile across your face, buzzing full of pride because it was your first fucking book and your boss give you one in the very first batch - back then you were just the one that did the toughest job, reviewing everything.

Jeonghan knows he loves you, he knows for quite a while.

Jeonghan knew before the first girlfriend dumped him because he was jealous of you. When his third girlfriend asked him if he liked you he couldn’t even lie, when his fifth girlfriend broke up and for the fifth time, the reason was you he just stopped trying dates altogether.

Jeonghan doesn't remember much of the marriage itself, he remembers bits and pieces of an Elton John in a 70's costume and how the chapel was way hotter, making Jeonghan's armpits wet, not a great look for a groom. But he remembers everything before that - in a less hazed lens. He remembers telling you in the hotel bar how he loved you for quite a while now, and how you looked so shocked - telling him he should quit lying. He swore on his first dog's grave, weirdly that made you believe him. He told you how he hated Mark - your college boyfriend that literature guy who gave you poems that you still keep as presents, he remembers you saying how you would keep every post-it note if Jeonghan wrote them in the future. It was a promise, you said holding your pinkie finger out for him. He remembers buying you the ring, you outside the store because he knew you would think that the chosen ring was too much, too big, too expensive, any ring will do it you told him before letting him inside, but he couldn't do it, he could only choose the prettiest ring for the prettiest girl.

Jeonghan remembers his vow, promising he would take care of you, that he would write love letters for the rest of his life on every special date because you hated presents. And Jeonghan remembers how you two kissed in the chapel, on the uber back to the hotel, in the hotel room - more than you should have, because now it is the only thing he can think about it and you don't fuck remember. Jeonghan thought about running, about changing cities and even country - investments were pretty much the same everywhere in the world really. But the reality was that even if he moved, his love was still his to keep, and he would do that heartedly. He was a coward, but he still had his pride, and if that was the price to pay, then, be It.

“Hey, come here,” He says, finally lifting himself off the ground.

“What?” You ask, looking at him still sitting on the floor.

“Come here,” He says again, giving his hands so you can get up.

“What? You are weird what is going on,” you say finally getting up on your feet.

“Come here,” Jeonghan says and before you approach him his arms are already by your side, enveloping you in a thigh hug. “Thank you,” he says softly, “thank you for everything really,”

“Are you drunk Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, your own voice muffled by the tight embrace.

“No,” Jeonghan laughs, and you can feel his whole body move, “I’m serious, thank you for being there for me even when you have shit on your own to deal with,” He says, his chin on top of your head, “and thank you for not thinking I am a commitment phobic asshole.”

“You are still on that? I told you I never saw you like that stop being dumb."

“I know, I am just-” Jeonghan doesn't finish his sentence, his arms still around you, his heart beating by your ear.

“Look you are drunk, at least there is nothing much we can fuck up being drunk together after getting married in Vegas," you say and Jeonghan feels a pang, almost like when he stubs his little finger on the corner of random furniture, but he doesn't say anything, "give me a sip of your wine you asshole,” you say getting free of his embrace and holding the bottle of wine

“Come on! Don’t drink it straight from the bottle, there is a glass right there!” Jeonghan protested.

“Come on Yoon Jeonghan, I know you, I know you since you didn’t have enough cups in your first kitchen, don't play the proper guy with me,” you say like basic manners don't exist, and sitting on his counter.

“I grow up I am an adult now,” Jeonghan says, but he doesn't really move a muscle to pick another glass of wine for you, he thinks it is his biggest flaw - the fact that you can walk over him countless times and Yoon Jeonghan will just let you do whatever you want even if he pretends that it is against his will.

“Oh, totally,” You look at him, and even though the phrase itself has a bite to it your voice is honest, “Not to go back to sappy times, but you really did Hannie, you are really growing so much, and I am so proud of you,”

"Shhhh-” Jeonghan murmurs trying to shut you up and you know it is mainly because he is so fucking shy that you almost laugh.

“By the way,” You say taking another sip from the bottle. “I’m so moving in with you and I can even deal with only one room if you don’t sell any of my stuff.”

“Shut up,” Jeonghan says kissing the top of your head, “you can have the whole house, just don’t set it on fire.”

Ultimately, that actually happens.

You actually move with Jeonghan into his dream house. The house is 98% bare, without the furniture of the last owner besides the utilities. But a) it is better than living with your satan-spit roommate, b) Jeonghan has been sleeping on his own couch for over two weeks now because even though you say it is okay you can't spend that time in your own apartment he refuses to let you near Laurel.

But somehow, Jeonghan and you make a home out of the new house. You take the bookshelves on the left, all the books you edited in your lifetime on a special shelf right in your point of view. Jeonghan takes the bookshelves on the right, a lot of the books you edited and gifted him are scattered across it because he doesn’t really care about arranging his shelves in a particular order.

Every time Jeonghan sees a nice piece of furniture he sends you a picture of it, and you two chat about if it fits the room, and the colors would clash. In a weird way your collection of cups and mugs triples the size, indeed you are engrossed with buying new ones, but the thing is - you always pick two of them now. Jeonghan’s favorite is a weird bunny mug that you never actually use because it ears always make drinking anything impractical.

You two also build a weirdly oiled routine. You two eat breakfast together, Jeonghan wakes up early and when he is just arriving for his morning run you are already scrabbling eggs. When Jeonghan is ready for work you are ready for your own run. When Jeonghan arrives from work you still have one hour to go, so in the end he is the one to always cook dinner. After you two share the dishes and eat something sweet as the dessert the kitchen counter - previously used as a dinner table, now acts an officer table.

While Jeonghan looks up some designer classes, you search manufacturers. When he draws a cute rabbit girl that he named Ttoram, you try to understand how a business works, how you file taxes for it? Sometimes Jeonghan does the dirty work himself after he finishes a new version so you get your pink glittery pen and write in post-it what you think about the new product; ‘what is this material arrow-drawing pointing to a specific part of a squish toy’, ‘her head seems big are you sure she won't flop head first in someone’s bed?’, ‘are you sure? I think lamps are quite expensive.

The house gets filled with new art supplies, sometimes Jeonghan orders a bunch of them online, and sometimes you are the one that brings back a single pen or a new colored pencil that you pick up in arts stories every time you go to a meeting. The house is filled with paper and drawings, your favorite ones is always the first drafts - the ones that Jeonghan does on the non-quality paper, the ones that he does on pieces of paper, the ones that look less refined and to you are filled with children-like joy.

Another curious thing is how somehow you and Jeonghan seemed very addicted to post-it. Besides the practical use in the drawing drafts because Jeonghan was an old soul who couldn’t do his work on an Ipad like a normal human being in this day and age, you also used to communicate - ‘please buy eggs!’ you wrote and left on the kitchen door, ‘already set a reminder on my phone so i don’t forget to stop at the market!’ jeonghan replied. “Didn’t see u before I left :( don’t forget to take breaks” he wrote, somehow the post-it ended up in your office, and you glued it on the computer screen beside one green post-it with a frog with a raincoat on.

Every time the fridge was out of space for new ones you took them off one by one, with a smile on your face, and kept them in a box, safely stored. You always noticed one or two missing but you always thought the wind knocked them out and Jeonghan, that traitor, threw them in the garbage. In short, everything stayed the same with a daily dose of domestic life. The problem was - that it didn’t stay the same for very long.

And as hard as it was to admit, it was your fault.

There was no way around it.

It weirdly began every time you saw Jeonghan around the stove. The fact that Jeonghan was beautiful-handsome-pretty was not news to you. You, and every human being that laid eyes on him, always reached the point where you acknowledged how pretty Jeonghan was. In college it was a fucking nightmare, guys and girls banging on his dorm room when you two were watching a movie just because they thought Jeonghan was alone - the fact that he didn’t have a roommate because he bribed someone (one of the most Jeonghan acts that you ever witnessed, but that was beside the point - really) only added to the fact that 87% of his course thought he was down to bang anytime. The truth was that you always knew that Jeonghan was someone objectively good-looking, but there was a catch, even though Jeonghan was beautiful you didn’t really feel attracted to him and he knew that. Countless times you told him he was too pretty for his own good along with the lines that he wasn’t your type, ‘what the fuck that supposed to mean’ he answered the first time you said that, back in high school. With time it turned out to be your standard answer to every girl that was attracted to him and wanted a shot with him but somehow thought he was your boyfriend.

You know that Jeonghan is good-looking, and you know that for fucking years so why are you going a little insane every time you get in the kitchen and the man is cutting some onions? Truly it happens in the weirdest hours, out of nowhere, your brain reminds you how hot Jeonghan is - and that is even scarier because you knew that the man was handsome, but hot? That’s a new development. Once he arrived from his morning run, his hair a little damp, sweat dripping down his neck, and only with a thigh shirt because he already removed his go-to wind-breaker and you almost collapsed on the kitchen floor. That alone was mind-blowing.

The horrors begin when you just couldn’t deal with his touch without your mind going to the fucking gutter. When he touched your hips to make your move because he wanted to open a drawer, or when he dropped down on the sofa without leaving space between your bodies, his hand tapping your thigh. Out of nowhere, you are combusting because his hand feels hot against your skin, goosebumps appearing across your skin Jeonghan asks you if you are cold. And the fact that Jeonghan is touching you isn't necessarily super weird, he always did that, but somehow you feel that his touches changed and you can't quite pinpoint how besides the fact that you are reacting differently.

It doesn't really help your case that Jeonghan develops a weird habit of wrapping his arm around your neck. It happens everywhere, even in public and every time you can feel yourself grow a little hotter. You were supposed to pay attention to Minghao’s new paintings, a designer slash illustrator slash painter whom you worked with for a few book covers, and somehow in the middle of the opening of his new exposition, you can’t even think about the impasto on his oil paintings because Jeonghan hands feels heavy on your neck, his fingers touching the lateral of it almost rubbing. Every time you take a step to try to see the paintings up close Jeonghan doesn’t let you leave his hold, his body close enough to be pressed against your back, half of your back feeling hot because of his presence, half of it feeling cold because of his absence.

“Hao!” You say when you finally see the man of the hour, black hair on black coats, his hands behind his back looking around all the people that came just to appreciate his work.

“Hey,” He says opening his arms for you.

“Congratulations,” you say feeling the arms of Minghao around your back, your body though prefer to pay attention to the weight of Jeonghan’s eyes on you, “everything is mind blowing,” you say to the man - his hands still on your body, yours on his shoulder, until you hear Jeonghan clearing his throat in order to get you to notice his existence, and you almost laugh, “Hao this is Jeonghan, Jeonghan this is Minghao.”

“Great job man,” Jeonghan says in a weird tone, giving Minghao two little pats on the back and taking a step by your side, his hand on your waist.

“Thank you,” Minghao says politely, like he always does, “It is a pleasure to meet you, you are in the book industry too?” Minghao asks with his hands in his pocket,

“No,” Jeonghan almost scoffs, him? and books? God forbid, “I work with investment these type of things,”

“Oh, so you are not in the art business then,” Minghao acknowledges and you know his interest peaked even though you don't know why, maybe because you know Jeonghan so well you don't have much to unfold, while Minghao just seems weirded out by the fact that you have a Wall Street dude by your side.

“Oh Hao you always flatter me when you include me in the art business,” you say jokingly, reminiscing one of the many conversations you had with Minghao over a bottle of wine.

“I told you," a sly smile across his face, "books are a matter of passion.”

“You did,” you say somewhat reminiscing of the talk you two had back then. It was after calling him up for his second cover, after a meeting where he made you go through the book's motifs and ideas so he could have a feeling of what he should focus on.

“You should come to the after party,” Minghao says, “we could catch up,”

“Yeah I don’t think we can,” Jeonghan says while he checks his watch, he knows the question wasn't directed to him, he isn't stupid and he has two eyes, but he also is a stubborn motherfucker and now he just wants to ruin Minghao's night, and he is not about to Banksy this place up with shredded art pieces - because he is afraid his bank account can't take the lawsuit. “I have a work meeting tomorrow morning” Jeonghan reminds you, his fingers still on your waist.

“Still,” Minghao says, looking puzzled by you two, “you can stay right?”

“I’m afraid I can’t,” you say sorry “Han is driving us back so-”

“Is your phone number still the same?” Minghao asks without dropping a beat, and Jeonghan can give him that, he doesn't know Minghao but the guy just doesn't quit - he knows a stubborn guy when he sees one.

“Yeah, I didn’t change, but if you need you can e-mail me and-” You say before someone calls Minghao, it is his opening after all, a guy in the suit makes a gesture to him when the three of you look to see who was the owner of the voice.

“Sorry, I have to go, but I will call you," He says before giving you a kiss on the cheeks and walking to the guy who just called him.

Jeonghan snorts, really, what was that? He shouldn't find it so funny but it is. He takes a step back, his hands leaving you, while he looks at the painting. You know he is just pretending to analyze everything.

“What?” You ask him - missing his hand on your waist, on your neck, missing his presence around you.

“Nothing,” he says shaking his head, he is biting back a smile - laughter really, and you want to know what it is so funny, you are curious about what is going on in his head.

“It can’t be nothing come on,” you press on, your hand on his shoulder in a way to get some sort of touch from him, to regain some sort of proximity.

“Just-” Jeonghan stops, in front of another painting, his hand going back to your waist, and at the same time you think you can finally breathe again, your breath feels trapped in your throat, making you swallow on nothing, “You didn’t tell me it was an opening night to your ex-fling," he says. Eyes almost tinkling under the light and you know where this is going.

“Hao isn’t my ex fling what are you talking about?” You pretend, trying to get out of this situation because you know somehow Jeonghan will pry on, and he knows how to push your buttons enough just so you can spill everything he wants to know.

“Not fling then," Jeonghan says, hand still on your waist when he starts walking around the gallery with you by his side, until another painting that he really doesn't really care about, "an one night stand.”

“He is a friend," almost rolling your eyes at him, "I told you, I know him because of work,”

“So you are telling me you guys didn’t fuck?” And even though his words my seem harsh his tone is still light - he was truly a jerk but why are you smiling at him?

“Jeonghan, what the fuck?” You yelped, making Jeonghan's sly smile appear again.

“What?” He asks eyes still on you when you pretend to pay attention to the orange painting in front of you.

“Keep your voice low,” you mouthed, “we didn’t fuck,” you tell him again, and it was the truth, but somehow Jeonghan knew how to read between your words.

“Well,” he began, still looking at you even when he tilted his head to the side, a sly smile still on his face like he could see through you like you couldn't keep anything under wraps, and you could feel the goosebumps on the nape of your neck, your whole body tingling, “I am pretty sure it wasn’t for lacking trying on his part.”

“It would be too messy,” you finally blurt it out.

“Ah of course," Jeonghan laughs again and it almost sounds bitter to you, "so he did try, it was after or before saying the book and passion line?”

“After,” you say, your time to laugh, even though you feel the heat on your skin, a crazy addition to new feels because you are not one to actually feel shy around Jeonghan.

“And you laid him down too gently,” he acknowledges, eyes moving through the room again. You follow his gaze, seeing Minghao watching the both of you across the room, you just greet him with a smile.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You ask him, pressing your body on his sides until his arms are back on you.

“Well," Jeonghan breathes, his eyes still rummaging around the room, "I know you can break a guy's heart but apparently you lost your touch with that one because he is still down to fuck.”

“Jeonghan!” You gasped, “No he isn’t you are seeing things like you always do.” You tell him, Jeonghan had this weird superpower that he tuned in college - he could tell a guy was somehow interested in you from miles away, the first few times you actually made a bet on it; fifteen dollars, to pay him for a meal, to go with him to a frat party that his friend Soonyoung was hosting. After the fifth time, you just learned that was better to trust his judgment on it.

“Oh yeah, it truly takes a mind reader to see a guy ogling you across the room and telling you to show up at the after party even tho you have a guy on your arm," Jeonghan almost scoffs, then he leans down, his mouth close to your ear, "truly, his intention was indeed to talk about the impasto or the lighting or the shadow of his hard-on,”

“Jeonghan” you accuse again slapping his arm playfully, laughing at his antics “If I trusted you my ego would be in the clouds because every walking human being apparently wants to fuck me according to you.”

“Not everyone but a great part of it, sure." He deadpans.

“Sure, apparently you are the only exception who else?”

“I’m not,” Jeonghan deadpans again, just shrugging. Because it is not actually something he tried to hide over the years, it is nothing something that he is ashamed of either. And he is pretty sure it is something you already know since college so he doesn't have to lie about it. Jeonghan might be a coward, but he isn't really a liar.

“What?”

“I tried to get in your pants my whole high school years," He says, his eyes still on the painting, or everything that catches his attention, his eyes are everywhere really but on you. "I just gave up after the few first months of college”

“What the hell?” You try again. Everything feels kind of abnormal in your head. The way that Jeonghan says those words - like he is saying that you two should buy soap the next time you both go do groceries, it freaks you out. How can he be so normal about all of that?

And how could you be so clueless? Everything shifts in your brain - like the earth just changed its axes. He never told you anything closer to this, you are sure of it. You never suspected that Jeonghan liked you back then, or scratch that, that he tried to get in your pants. It seems something so unreal that you are having a hard time wrapping your mind around it - around the idea of a teenager and younger Jeonghan wanting something from you that you never really saw happening.

“What the hell what?” Jeonghan stopped dead on his track, finally looking at you, “You didn’t know that?”

“Of course not,” you say exasperated.

“Oh, I thought you were laying me down gently too,” he added, in the most neutral tone possible, making your head spin a little.

“No, I had no idea,” and it is true. You remember everyone from college who thought you and Jeonghan were a couple back then, everyone who found it weird when you two answered that you were just friends. You remember Seokmin, and you think about Seungcheol's words in Vegas and everything is hazed, a little out of focus. “Why did you give up tho?” You ask him.

“I just,” he says still looking forward and avoiding your eyes like the plague, “I mean, besides the fact that you got into he is not my type phase I would never kiss that man, the fact that I tried for four years and it didn’t happen led me to believe that never would, so...”

“I needed to make clear to every girl that was falling and tripping over you that I was not your girlfriend, they were pretty sure we were high school sweethearts back then”

“I think everyone we know somehow ends up thinking we are in a relationship,” he says, “I mean, clearly not goth impasto guy because that would be crazy, hitting on a woman with her husband on her side but”

“You need to pick up your husband's game,” you say kidding, while walking around the gallery with him, “I was indeed mistaken to be a single woman today.”

“I should have bought a bigger ring,” Jeonghan groaned, making you laugh, weirdly you still have the big ring on your finger.

“That’s not the answer,” you groaned because the man truly had this weird obsession with this ring and big rocks. You could tell him over and over again how you didn’t care about the ring or the rocks and he still found a way to make sure you were wearing the ring.

“And what is? If I try to be more territorial within the touch department we would be in jail for public indecency,” Jeonghan says low on your ear, his voice mischievously, while his hand presses on your hips, “Should we just go to jail?” Jeonghan asks, his hands trying to go lower heading towards your butt.

“Jeonghan, don’t test me,” you say seriously, your hand holding his and bringing up on your body. Why the fuck didn’t Jeonghan behave like a proper human being? Why your heart is racing against your ribcage? Why you are enjoying this whole thing?

The whole night you can feel Jeonghan’s hand on you in some way, or on your lower back, your neck, fingers on your shoulder, making his presence known somehow. And every time you think you are starting to understand what happened - what Jeonghan said, what that meant, he touches you again and everything gets a bit hazed, taking you to the start again. Should you read into everything that he said to you? Would you be able to deal with it?

Those questions are still going around your brain in the car back home. Home, that alone was something that didn't make sense either. The air in the car is so thick that you think you can't breathe, the fact that Jeonghan's hand is splayed against your thigh doesn't help with the issue. The curiosity gets the best of you - you want to know all the unsaid things, you want to get under his skin and discover everything Jeonghan even wanted.

He doesn't move his hand, he doesn't stroke your skin, his hand is just there. Again, a reminder of some sort, and you almost laugh - silly of him to think that his presence could go unnoticed by you. Jeonghan has always been there on your mind, and lately even more. It makes your mouth go dry. The feeling is back on the pit of your stomach again. What if? You ask yourself, what would have happened if Jeonghan said those things back then? Would the present be different? Would that have washed away all the curiosity about Jeonghan?

Arriving home you go straight to the sofa and plop down in the middle seat, taking your time to take off your high heels, you don’t know why but you still buy pairs with ankle ties - the bane of your existence when it is three hours later and you have a thigh dress on, maybe that’s why you think you hate those types of event, even though you had a great time, saw a few friends and enjoyed the night with Jeonghan, you always ended up tired with a few blisters on your feet. You can hear Jeonghan’s footsteps around the house while you massage your feet and try to ease the tension.

You turn your body so you can stretch your legs on the sofa, the pain on your calves is killing you. You don’t even turn when you feel Jeonghan entering the room, his perfume and the sound of his slippers are enough to make his presence known. It was always like that? Did Jeonghan's presence always engulf you? Did it always make you unable to focus on anything else? Did it always make you question your own sanity? He sits down on the sofa, in the same direction as you, his legs around yours, his front pressed on your back and you hold yourself back because you almost whimper when you feel your body melting against his.

“You’re tense,” Jeonghan says his voice low, his hands pressing the knots on your shoulders.

“I am always tense and stressed out,” you say, and it is the truth. Jeonghan doesn’t need to know that for the last few weeks the fact that he is the number one reason. You almost rub yourself against him, feeling a little bit crazy and hot all over - oh no.

“Hm,” Jeonghan acknowledges. When his fingers close around your neck you almost jump on your seat, his thumbs traveling across the knots of your spine, and you are not strong enough to not whimper this time, “there’s a lot of things you could do to distress.”

“Like what? A guided meditation?” You joke, trying to get away with it, trying to downplay every reaction of your body.

“Fuck those apps,” he mutters under his breath, he is so close you can feel his breath against your nape.

“Yeah right there,” You say when his thumb presses down in a particular knock on your back.

“This one?” You just nod, don’t trust yourself enough to utter a word that doesn’t sound like a humiliated noise. Since when did you turn into a mess in Jeonghan’s hand? But you just accept your fate, feeling how soft your body feels against his. “Can I open this?” Jeonghan asks, his voice so low you barely hear, but he is so close to you that your ears catch his question.

And you still don’t trust yourself, so you nod again. Jeonghan drops the zipper of your dress and takes his time to gather your hair in his hands, and taking them out of his way, letting your locks rest on your shoulder. His fingertips trails the collar of your dress again, and you can feel the goosebumps across your skin and you know Jeonghan can see them as well.

You can feel the way that Jeonghan’s fingertips travel down your spine as he opens the zipper of your dress. And you close your arms around your chest, in order to maintain the dress in place because you can feel how loose the fabric feels against your body after the zip is down. But apparently, Jeonghan is not even close to satisfied because his fingers are tugging the straps of your dress down your arms.

Jeonghan’s fingertips are still on your skin, stroking your arms when you feel his lips against your shoulder. Before you can think about anything your own body reacts before you, giving space so Jeonghan can continue kissing the column of your neck. Everything feels a little surreal, a blur, you can't quite grasp-

Then, your cellphone starts to ring bringing you back to reality.

“Don’t pick up,” Jeonghan tells you, almost like a whisper against your ear, his hands still around your waist - but then your phone rings again and again and reality comes crashing again and again.

And you want to say that you are ok with almost being undressed on Jeonghan’s lap, that it is ok the way his thighs cage you, that it is ok how his hands feel hot against your body and how his lips feel against your neck. But your phone rings again and it must be important so you stretch yourself and try to find your phone inside your bag by feel. When you finally can reach the phone dies, and you can feel Jeonghan’s smile across your skin - like he just won. But before you can drop the phone you feel it ringing again, and when you pick up the big font appears on the screen ‘seungcheol is the best’. You can feel Jeonghan’s hand freeze against your body, the way he just goes rigid.

“Don’t pick up,” He says again but now something is different - his voice is not low.

“It must be something important,” you reasoned, because it is true. You have been trying to get a hold of Seungcheol since before leaving Vegas and yet the man didn't answer you once.

“Just-” Jeonghan tries, and you can feel his squeezing your shoulders again, almost in a silent plea.

“I haven’t talked to him since Vegas, it must be something important,” You say, your own hands going to his in an effort to show him that you understand what he is trying to say.

“Are you truly doing this right now?” Jeonghan asks and when you don't answer him he already knows.

You look at him but Jeonghan just gets up and off the sofa and leaves the room, in the end, you choose to just pick up your phone and answer it with a low “Hey cheol,” so low that Seungcheol asks if you were sleeping.

Seungcheol tells you he wants to meet, to talk about things. And you say yes because why not? You pick yourself up and close your dress. Before going to your room you stop at Jeonghan's door and before you lose all the courage that you have in your body you knock on the door, nothing, and you try again just to hear the sound of the shower across the room when you glue your ear against the door.

When you lie on your bed you don't really can close your eyes. You feel restless, your mind wavering, and you can't stop thinking about Jeonghan.

What would that mean?

If you took that leap would Jeonghan be there if everything fell apart? A shiver runs down your spine because it is the first that the answer would be a no. You ask yourself why now. What made Jeonghan change?

And you can't even look back anymore - you can't even think about your friendship with Jeonghan without it being tinted, his words echoing in your brain, "I just gave up". You play the whole conversation back in your head, almost like an old VHS tape - rewinding and pressing play, trying to see everything in another angle, rewinding, asking yourself what that meant, rewinding, thinking back, rewinding and pressing play - unfolding all the touches, and the times Jeonghan's hand lingered on your body.

You rewind until the sleep gets the best of you when it is already bright outside.

You wake up to the sound of your phone, Seungcheol calling you because he will run a little late, of course, you say while he just laughs because it is so clear that you were sleeping. When you run down the stairs, almost falling on it because your brain isn't functioning yet, you don't find Jeonghan anywhere. When you look at the fridge and there are no new notes, your heart breaks a little.

The coffee that Seungcheol chooses is pretty, and not very crowded, and even though Seungcheol is late is not a big deal, you use the time to go over a few manuscripts and spreadsheets with a cup of coffee on your side. Or at least you try to, but the truth is that you send Jeonghan a few messages and every time your phone pings you need to check if he is the one answering you - it isn't.

When Seungcheol arrives, you see him first, still from afar, his hair is shorter now. You almost laugh because that is definitely not a Seungcheol's choice, nor a haircut. His hair screamed his fiancée's name.

"Hey stranger," he says sitting across from you.

"Hey yourself," you greet him back, almost laughing at how awkward this whole thing is. Seungcheol and you walking around eggshells. Neither you nor Seungcheol wants to start talking about the whole elephant in the room - Yoon Jeonghan.

You ask him about the wedding preparation, it is going nice he says, he was late because he needed one last fit on his suit. His mother nagged over and over about how he shouldn't wear a navy blue suit, his future wife nagged about how it couldn't be black because the whole vibe of the afternoon wedding was different from a night wedding.

"I'm just happy that you guys worked everything out," Seungcheol says after a while, sipping on his coffee.

"Cheol," You try your heart already tugging on your inside.

"No really," he smiles at you, the way he always does - with a fondness you can't quite handle, like after all those years he still sees you like the kid you once were. Someone who didn't really have hold of her life and in a way, after all those years you feel like that again. "I did a lot of thinking," Seungcheol chuckles, "I think that I always have been envious of Jeonghan in a way," he breathes loudly, almost trying to gather up courage, "here I was, with my wedding date set up and still having doubts about how I feel and if I should go on with it." Seungcheol scratches her head almost like he is ashamed to tell you the truth, "And there is my friend, right? I think that the thing I always admired about Jeonghan was how consistent he was, you know me, in that way, we are alike right? We see shine things and we run towards them, a new project, a thing we like, don't even say anything about the golf gear I swear to god," he says abruptly making you laugh, and it was true in that sense you and Seungcheol were very much the same. "But Jeonghan is consistent, that man's mind is a fucking rock," Seungcheol says like a jab and you can understand why, "and yet he is more sure about you than I am about my fiancée really. And he has been sure for years, I still don't know what made him make a move-, he didn't talk to me prior to that, but I am truly happy that you guys figured it out, it took you long enough."

"I don't even know what to say," you breathe, looking at Seungcheol. You can't blurt out the words - physically unable to tell him. You think about what you should say, you should tell him -'we are not together', 'we didn't figure it out'. You want to tell the truth, you want to come clean, but you just can't. "But yeah, he has always been there for me" you laugh a little soulless. It is not a lie either, but it is not the whole truth, Yoon Jeonghan has always been there for you, but now all the other pieces of the puzzle are coming together. "I think the only thing that hurt him was you going on and on about his commitment issues or whatever.

"It's-" Seungcheol breathes, "it wasn't like that. I mean, sure, he can't commit to anyone who isn't you," he shrugs, "I think it was back when you were going out with that lit kid right? god" Seungcheol laughs, shaking his head like he just found a memory in his treasure box, "Jeonghan was so jealous back then," Seungcheol continues, reminiscing, "he would get furious every time that guy would give you a letter, a poem, anything really. I don't know how you didn't catch up on how much he hated that guy's gut if he dissed the poor kid."

"I just thought-" you stop to think about it, "I don't even know what I was thinking back then, but I never once thought it was because of jealousy, he was dating like 3 girls at the same time back then," you tell, felling the bittersweet taste on your mouth.

"Well," Seungcheol takes another sip, "you know Yoon Jeonghan, when he doesn't get what he wants he tends to fuck everything up and push himself to do shit just out of spite. His high school crush and love of his life found her first boyfriend, how do you think he would handle that? What he could do about that? Try to write poems better than Mark? He tried to believe they were all shitty, trying to forget you was the last thing he could do for himself, even that didn't actually work."

And you feel like you are about to go into overdrive.

It is one of your flaws really, you were never one who would react quickly - your brain always trying to assess and digest everything before being able to take a leap. The problem was that you needed to unpack more than ten years, to go through every file of your life with Jeonghan and try to find a new meaning, trying to find a clue, in search of something you don't know yet, but that could make you understand, or realize.

You spend the whole day feeling a weird taste in your mouth.

The thing is, you can't quite pinpoint what are you feeling, you can't really name it. It somehow resembles feeling betrayed, you think, that you have a cheating boyfriend and everyone knows his secret but nobody has the courage to tell you, and when you actually find out you are the last one to know.

You take your time walking around town and even figure out the longest route to Jeonghan's house.

Even that sounded weird rolling off your tongue.

You try again - picking random memories to try to see if you can find a hiding meaning somewhere, a clue, evidence of Jeonghan's feelings. A crush you could understand, something small like an affection with an expiration date you could understand. You could understand the curiosity that grew in the past month.

But Seungcheol's words didn't point to that, Seungcheol's words were actually pointing in the opposite direction of that.

And if you were being honest with yourself, that made you afraid.

“I talked with Seungcheol,” you blurt out when Jeonghan finally arrives.

“Yeah, we are not going there,” Jeonghan says seriously, without looking at you - avoiding you at every cost. It is a tell, a clue that he doesn't want to talk about it. You don't want either, if you could you would never go there again, but you need to, because living things like they are right now, messy and all over the place aren't working.

“Jeonghan,” you groan, “we need to talk about everything that happened in Vegas, his wedding is in a few weeks."

“I think you were there when he said I wasn't invited so I am not really following right now," Jeonghan says his voice stuffy because his head is inside the fridge in search of something, maybe he is just trying to not look at you.

"He told me you are not answering his calls," You tell him, and before Jeonghan says anything he just scoffs and closes the fridge door without taking anything out. He doesn't actually move, but he doesn't look at you either, his head is hanging off his shoulders, and you know Jeonghan so well that you know that nothing will make him move. You know you are not going to win, but yet you press it on, because you are tired of things being left unsaid, of Jeonghan bottling everything out and things ending up being your fault.

"Why are you being so fucking stubborn about this?" You ask watching Jeonghan just shake his head, "he is your best friend."

“Yeah like Seungcheol’s is flawless,” he bites back.

“Jeonghan this is not the point right now-" You start before he cuts you off.

“It is never the point right?” He asks you, finally looking at you, still holding his weight on the counter, "Is never the point, is never the right time, is never them it is always me fucking it up because it is Jeonghan he is not serious, he can take it, you guys can go on and on and god forbid if someone doesn't wanna take more bullshit from you."

“Come one don’t get angry with me,” you plead.

“Of course, right, I can't even get angry," Jeonghan says before he heads to walk out of the kitchen.

"Jeonghan," You almost beg making him stop and look at you, "we really need to talk about everything."

"Talk about everything or for you to be Seungcheol's spokesperson?" He says, and when you don't answer he completes, "Then no, we are not talking”

“Of course, because that will solve everything," you say almost groaning, "he is your best friend for god's sake, he still thinks we are in a somewhat relationship, he wants to talk to you, he feels guilty for being an asshole. He is sorry." You try almost stomping your feet at every word.

"Well, good for him," Jeonghan says like words don't have enough weight to make him care.

"Come on Jeonghan I'm trying here," you whine.

"Trying to do what exactly?" He asks, "Did you ever think about what actually happened since Vegas?" He says finally looking at you, and you feel even worse. He almost laughs when you don't answer. "Okay, I did, I spent every single second thinking about it and I am really fucking tired of thinking about it. I tried to put it through a different lens, I tried to put myself in other people's shoes, I tried to be reasonable and understand everyone, look I really did, and I did a great job understanding that you forgot the whole damn thing, of course, you can forget me telling you that I am head over hills for you sure, you can forget that you were the one who kissed me back then sure, of course it happens, I mean," Jeonghan scoffs, "I understand for years what is a few more months right?"

"Jeonghan-"

"No, let me finish this because somehow it will be my fault again so let me make everything clear," he says - back again looking at every corner around the kitchen but not laying an eye on you; "Seungcheol knows, he always knew about everything, he knows how many girlfriends gave me fucking ultimatum and I always choose you. He knows how many women broke up with me because they knew I was in love with you, sure, everyone in my fucking life knew but you - I understand that too sure," he stops, breathing loudly and you feel the lump around your throat way to thigh, "and he fucking knows that if I could I would've got over this sooner, so yeah, maybe I was too fucking sensitive when my friend act like I was a fucking coward who has commitment issues and would never do anything about it sure, it's my fault great, I can be responsible for that. I can take that sure, I can take Seungcheol, what I can't take is you playing dumb after last night, that I can't take it, and to be fair I don't want to, I don't have to, and you don't have a lot of excuses this time, I guess you remember right? And I think that time I made myself pretty clear so this time you must know right?"

You have been building your life around Jeonghan's for years. In a way, Jeonghan's life and yours were beautifully intricate, to the point that you weren't quite sure where one ended and one began. You think about how would your life be without Jeonghan's presence, and how would your future look like. And that scared the shit out of you.

"And that took you how many years Jeonghan?"

"Don't do that," he says and his voice feels almost small.

"Sure, I am sorry if I'm being fucking selfish right now, but you had your own time to think about everything, right? You have had years to come to your own terms? I'm freaking out here, do you think that's easy for me? Do you think it is easy to think about the aftermath if this goes wrong Jeonghan? Sure I understand that maybe that is your tipping point great, I understand that, but you are my friend and I don't fucking know how we will go on if we fuck everything up," you laugh, "I think we already passed that apparently."

"We didn't fuck it up," Jeonghan says, "Why can't you trust me for once?"

"I do," You say, and it is the truth, you trust Jeonghan with your life, "I do, I am just scared. You took your time to figure everything out, but every time I look back now I think about everything you didn't tell me,"

"I told you everything," Jeonghan says and you can almost feel his desperation, "I was sincere about everything,"

"Now you are just telling lies," you say laughing dryly.

"Sure I didn't tell you everything, but the things I haven't told you are small in comparison."

"The fact that you like me isn't small Jeonghan," you say, and it finally downs on you, that this - his feelings are a huge thing that you can't quite hide.

"What I am trying to say is-" Jeonghan says, finally taking steps and getting closer to you, "I will not go anywhere," you hear him - even though it feels like he is whispering, "even if we fuck up, even if this doesn't work out, I will not go anywhere, if that's what you are afraid of then you have nothing to be afraid. I won't go anywhere because that would kill me more than would hurt you, and even though everyone around me thinks I am a masochist I would prefer not to die."

"I would rather not hurt you," you say and you feel like you could cry, "I am sorry if I ever did."

"You did," Jeonghan says, taking your hand, and holding it firmly like that act alone can show you how serious he is, "but nothing I couldn't take, even If you hurt me again, I can take it, I will take it."

Even if both of you don't want to, things stay a little weird between the two of you for some time. Like both of you are back to being so conscious of each other presence that it is just weird to jump right back at it, or, actually, take a step in another direction. But things fall back into place - more because of Jeonghan’s attitude than yours. He is the one that calls you for dinner, and he is the one that hugs you when you enter the kitchen.

He is the one that is trying to make things not weird. And you love him for it, you just love him, heatedly.

And the thing is, you always loved Jeonghan, but somehow, this kind of love and appreciation feels new and it is so scary, it makes you realize how everything is so fragile. But, at the same time - it makes you curious, it makes you wonder, it makes you act first just to see Jeonghan’s reaction.

Like when Jeonghan’s is whining about something and how he wants to quit his work so bad and you just hug him - almost melting against his back, placing your chin against his should and you can see Jeonghan freeze for a few seconds before he starts to pay attention on the food again.

Or when you start to watch a movie together and Jeonghan just melts in your lap, falling asleep while your hand goes through his hair. The next day when you whine about it he sweats to God he didn't sleep, he was paying attention to the movie, if you want to he can say the whole movie plot and all.

When the first Ttoram prototype arrives you are so excited that when you both place the little bunny on the dinner table, when she flops down - face diving because her head is too big - you are so happy for him that you just hold his face and place a quick kiss on his lips. Jeonghan looking at you wide-eyed. You almost start to laugh before you mutter:

“I told you, her head is too big,” you say trying to place Ttoram upright again.

“It is her charm, her brain is so big that she is dumb,” He says his voice weirdly fond, hands on your body pulling you into him.

“Yoon Jeonghan,” You stare at him - that weird mischievous smile on his lips, “what is that supposed to mean?”

“You should be honored,” Jeonghan says, holding your face almost making you yelp because his hands are so freaking cold, “You are my muse after all.”

And you almost curse him. But the thing is Jeonghan is cute, so will let it pass.

The thing is most of the time you are giggling and kicking your feet at everything Jeonghan does - that crush is so weird because you used to be stronger than that, now you are just falling in all of his antics, and boy doesn't he love it.

He just says the weirdest things out of nowhere just so he can hear your laugh. He holds you every time he has a chance, just pulling you close to hug you. But his favorite part of this new thing is how movie night now is just the two of you starting a movie to just act like a horny teenager.

Jeonghan is always the one who initiates it in a way. Sometimes is just caressing your arm before you start kissing him and licking against his mouth. Sometimes he feels bold enough and places his hand under your hoodie. The details always change but he always ends up with a hard-on and feeling like his younger self.

And it is happening again, his cock is hard, and he can barely hear the movie that is playing on the tv because you are kissing him and he can feel himself melting against the bed, like his whole body is going limp.

It is stronger than him, really. He wants to stay calm and collected but before he knows it he is already a whimpering mess, fingers digging in on your waist, his hips moving on their own, searching for some kind of pressure.

It is such a weird feeling, feeling so boneless and yet, feeling like he is a string - being pulled thigh enough he is about to snap at any minute.

When you break the kiss Jeonghan almost whines but before he can say anything you are already kissing his jaw so he just breathes loudly - accepting everything you want to give him.

“Can I suck you off?” You ask low on Jeonghan’s ears and he almost drop dead right there, like a fucking high schooler, like a teenager who just cum on his pant and drop dead when see a woman naked. And that would be fucking humiliating. He waited for so long he can't just burst a fucking nut in his own pants.

Jeonghan wants to answer you, he wants to say yes and maybe even mutter a please and thank you but somehow his brain is not even working properly, he is beyond dumb. But his dick is hard against his pants and he cannot even think properly - his brain is working overcapacity right now to try to take everything in.

So he does the only thing he can do in the moment - he pulls you into a kiss, and it is messy but Jeonghan doesn’t really care, focusing on the way you taste against his tongue. Jeonghan feels your cold hand against his stomach and he almost jumps at the spot, but you just whimper against his mouth when he does the same thing.

Jeonghan thinks the two of you are beyond niceties - you just told him you want his dick in your mouth, so he lets his desires win, while one of his hands is holding your waist under your shirt, the other one he uses to grope your ass. He squeezes your ass and at the same time, he tries to get your body even closer. You end up with your leg over him, across his hips, Jeonghan with his last functioning neuron takes the chance to shove his hand under your shorts too.

“Han,” you say when you come up for air, hand still splayed across Jeonghan’s body. “Come on,” you try again whining.

“Hm?” Jeonghan questions, his eyes almost closed and his head bent.

“You don’t want to?” You ask, voice low, taking the time that he uses to think about an answer to trail your lips across his neck, sucking at his skin, “I really want to but if you don't that's okay?”

“Hm?” Jeonghan mumbles - for a second he has no idea what are you talking about, his mind focused on how you feel against his hands, the weight of your body against him, how every curve of your body is pressed against his, how you smell and you taste.

“Suck you off,” you say again against his neck, almost petulantly like Jeonghan isn't paying attention, and he really isn't, but you shouldn't blame a man.

“Fuck,” he says almost whimpering.

Jeonghan was never like this - in his life nor in bed. He was never a mess, not to this point. Jeonghan always pretended to be somewhat collected, holding the strings of his life tight enough he could make his own choices, but it was never like that when the topic was you. So when the feeling pools on his belly, a reaction to how your fingers feel against his throat, taking matters into your hands when you grab Jeonghan's chin and maneuver his face in an angle so you can have access to more of his skin.

Jeonghan thinks he can die like this - almost dry-humping your leg. But apparently, you have other plans, your hand tugging at his joggers. Jeonghan's only reaction is to lift his hips, trying to help. It doesn't help much, but it is enough for you to shove your hands under his underwear, making Jeonghan shiver. When your hand finally finds his dick he almost melts, the tip of your things trying to map out everything before you apply pressure on it. He moans softly before closing his eyes.

He wants to be patient and wants to take whatever you give him, but the truth is he can't quite hold back anymore. His hands left your body so he can get hold of your face, kissing you. "Want to see you," he tells you, using all his strength to take one of the straps of your pajamas down. Kissing your shoulders, trying to map your collarbones with his mouth.

When Jeonghan tries to move the strap down your arm you don't budge, shaking your head telling him no, "don't want to stop touching you," and Jeonghan almost short circuit when your hand wraps around him and give his dick a few tugs.

"I know baby," Jeonghan coos, almost delirious out of his mind, his hand holds your wrist and takes out of his cock and the way that you just whine makes him even more desperate. His whole body is limp, almost melting. Jeonghan thinks he might die if he doesn't get naked, but he is too entertained with the view of your boobs in his face.

He knows there is an easier way to do this but fuck it, he is not in his right mind. Instead of taking out your flimsy excuse of a pajama Jeonghan just shoves It down, tugging at the end of the fabric while he kisses your chest. The way that you hold his head is so delicate that makes Jeonghan feel weirdly treasured even if he is completely debauched lapping at your skin. And Jeonghan takes his time, appreciating every inch of your skin

He could spend hours like this, he thinks - almost melting against you, kissing your chest lazily. He drags his tongue across your skin until he can reach your nipple, his hands come up your body until he can grab your boob so he can angle just right before his mouth is back to your body. Jeonghan thinks he can die like that, it would be a good way to go - your fucking tits on his face, your body pressed on his, his hard-on against your thigh, everything feels dizzy. When you shove your chest on Jeonghan's face, holding his face against you, he just takes it because he is so down and so horny that taking it is the only thing he can do.

"Hannie," you call and Jeonghan really just has enough strength to look up at you, without his mouth leaving your chest, "Just let me-" you try to say without much control of your own situation.

It is not like you are in your right mind either. Jeonghan's hands feels warm on your skin, and he holds you so tight that you think about the aftermath of his grip - you should make a mental note to check for marks after this, and that alone makes you tremble. You can only think about how Jeonghan's body feels against yours, how his mouth is still on you, and you want to cry because it is just so good but not enough. You feel you might cry. Or worse, die.

You press Jeonghan down until his back is pressed down on the mattress. And God he is so pretty, it makes you almost feel delirious.

When you sit down on Jeonghan's hips he feels like he is almost dying. Everyone he ever wanted felting very pale in comparison when he lay his eyes on you - hair already a mess, lips red from kissing him, flimsy shirt pooling at your waist. Your hands sneak under his shirt, and he almost laughs, damn he must be looking so dumb right now - feeling and behaving like a fucking virgin while his crush is on his lap, taking her time with him. You lift Jeonghan's shirt, dragging your hands underneath it, almost whining and frustrated when the shirt doesn't stay around his neck. Cute - he thinks, when you pout Jeonghan realizes he said that out loud.

"Just take it off," you whine again, tugging at his shirt.

Jeonghan just nods, holding your hips for leverage until he is sitting upright, holding the back of his shirt and taking it off in record time, before Jeonghan lies down again he feels your hand on his chin, holding him so you can kiss him again. Damn, he is lucky. But before he can think another thought you are pushing him back on the bad again, his hand on your hips.

Your hands travel on his body, caressing him - making him feel so close to losing his mind it is almost ridiculous. When Jeonghan's feels your fingers graze his neck he feels almost delirious, when your hand palms his chest and your digits press against his nipples it Is his time to whine, he almost feels like it is just too much, maybe he is closer than a step away from coming in his pants.

One of your hands is splayed against Jeonghan's stomach when the other one tugs the waistline of his pants, pulling the elastic band and letting it hit against Jeonghan's skin. You shuffle around his hips, sitting on his thighs now and Jeonghan is ready to complain when you tug on his pants again, this time actually getting the cloth to move and get it stopped by Jeonghan's hard-on.

"Baby," Jeonghan mumbles, "that's too much," he tries again, but apparently there is nothing he can say to make you stop - and in all honestly he doesn't want you to.

Jeonghan thinks he will die if he doesn’t get his dick free. Even though he doesn’t want to he takes the hand off your ass so he can take down his joggers, shoving his underwear down at the same time, his other hand still firm on your waist.

When your fingers close against Jeonghan’s shaft he almost sees stars. You give him a few experimental tugs. He feels so breathless, how is that even possible?

You almost scoff, looking at how even his dick is pretty - really, you should complain because it is so unfair. You press your finger on his slit, collecting the drop of precum, and the way that his dick twitch it makes your mouth water, but before you can even complete your thoughts Jeonghan’s hand is holding your face and bringing it down to another kiss.

If it was up to Jeonghan he would kiss you the whole night, but you had other ideas, using one hand to shove him until he is lying again when the other one is still on his dick. He is pretty sure he can feel your taste against your mouth but yet he feels parched. When you start to press kisses on his body, the only thing Jeonghan can do is take it.

Jeonghan thinks you want to wreck him. He feels you press your lips against his nipples, his hips buckling on its own, and you stroke his dick a little bit harder. Jeonghan can barely breathe, yet, without wasting a second you are doing it again - pressing your lips to his other nipple and licking it.

Before he can even wrap his mind around that you start to lick his belly and Jeonghan almost sees stars. He just feels everything, and apparently, your tongue dragging against his skin goes straight to his dick. Jeonghan doesn't know how, but he lifts himself up on his elbows, the view alone could make him cum - you still kissing him, lips on his hips, pressing Jeonghan's dick against his tummy, fingers rubbing his frenulum and he is just so sensitive that he groans before he can hold your hand making you stop.

"Too sensitive?" You ask and why the fuck do you sound so out of it when Jeonghan is being pulled and pushed around the edge?

"A little," Jeonghan answers breathlessly, his tongue dry against his mouth.

"Ok, noted," you say before doing something even worse - placing your lips on the same place before kissing the tip of his dick.

You wrap your lips around Jeonghan can't really control himself, he just pushes his hips slightly so you can take more of him, and god when you moan around him almost makes Jeonghan forget every trace of decency and good bed etiquette. But damn you just look so beautiful sucking his dick, one of your hands digging on his thigh and the other one still wrapped around his dick that it is physically impossible to not thrust his hips up.

"God," Jeonghan says and he sounds so defeated against his own ears, "fuck, you are so pretty," he tries again, looking at you and when he sees you looking up at him, eyes almost twinkling with the praise. And his mind almost snaps - oh, you felt that didn't you? The joy of discovering something every time Jeonghan's hips snapped. He gets it now. It is almost like a power trip. "So pretty, taking my cock," Jeonghan tries again and he almost can feel your moan against his dick before he can hear it.

Every word that Jeonghan mutters makes you take more of his dick into your mouth until he is hitting the back of your throat, god and how he can take that? Your lips around him, your tongue dancing around his dick, the hollowing of yours checks each time you suck him. He is delirious and out of his mind. He tries his best, he really does, but his hips have a mind of its own, and before he knows it he is thrusting up again making you gag around him.

Then your mouth leaves his dick and Jeonghan feels like he is about to collapse, everything just feels so much - the sound, the spit trail, the way your breath is irregular, fanning against his skin - and yet the intensity of feeling nothing makes him mind spin a little bit.

"Come here," Jeonghan mutters trying to catch his own breath. You crawl up his body and Jeonghan can only focus on how messy you look, lips glossy and pink, and he can see the faintest trail of spit on the corner of your lips, he presses his lips there before he drags his fingers on your lips, "I let you suck my cock, can I fuck you now?"

"Please?" You ask back and Jeonghan can feel his dick twitching.

"How do you want me?" Jeonghan says tugging at the bottom of your shorts and he almost laughs when you just shove everything down at once - and he could laugh really, at your desperation but first, he is way worse than you, second you are so pretty that he can't wrap his mind around the fact that everything he conjured up in his mind every time he thought about you when he was lazily stroking himself didn't do you justice.

"You can stay like that," you say, and before Jeonghan can mutter an answer you are already placing your knees on the sides of his hips, his hands automatically going to your waist, his mouth pressing against your collar bones.

One of your hands goes to Jeonghan's jaw, just holding slightly, while the other one wraps around Jeonghan's dick again - and he swears he would say something but his mind goes completely blank when you press your pussy on his dick. Your hips moving to make his cock disappear between your folds, making it drag against your clit, Jeonghan can feel how wet you are and god everything just feels so hot - he feels tight all over, like his muscles are contracting, even the ones he didn't know he had.

"Are you getting off like this?" Jeonghan questions and his only answer is a whine and your hips buckling against him, "Come on baby," Jeonghan tries again, hand now holding your hip, guiding your movements, "I can-" Jeonghan breathes, he doesn't want to say it but, "If you keep going like that, pussy so pretty against my cock, I will cum before I-"

"God," you groan against his shoulder, "can you really?"

"Yeah," Jeonghan almost laugh, his hand grabbing your ass. Of course, he can, he could've come already, but he is dragging this off, he is holding himself back. "Babe," Jeonghan calls you, mouth hot against your neck, "I could've come on your mouth, I'm so hard it is almost painful,"

"Can we-" You almost hiccup, "can we like that" you mumble again, "you can fuck me later," you say and Jeonghan almost sees white.

God, he could cum like that this wasn't even a question, the question was could you? The fact that you were over the edge like him was enough to drive him crazy.

Every time you drag your hips against him Jeonghan's let out a little moan, and he feels so wrecked that he just plants his lips on your neck, sucking at your skin. Jeonghan does not know if it is a reaction or is just because he is losing his mind but he can tell you are getting faster, the rhythm getting a little off, the way you breathe against him, everything just seems too much, and Jeonghan can't take it anymore.

The world stops spinning for a bit - everything just stays still.

Jeonghan is out of it until the sound of your breath brings him back. You are almost pouting. "Did you?" Jeonghan asks, himself breathless too.

"No," You whine and you feel so frustrated that Jeonghan pities you a little bit.

"It's okay," he says - because it is he will take care of it, it's not a problem.

But when Jeonghan looks down he almost cums again. It is so messy. Why there is so much cum? God, he blinks at the view - trying to take everything but mainly you, hovering on his lap.

"Han," You call and Jeonghan is brought back to reality.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," he says, and it is not like he is in control anymore, his mind Is just gone, he just drops his hand - scooping his own cum and placing it own your pussy. You moan so loudly and Jeonghan can feel your desperation, pressing his digits more firmly against your clit, "Like that?" He questions and you can only nod your head, words falling. Jeonghan holds you close to him, your chest against his, your hand still going between your legs, his other hand holding your waits, "Fuck how can you be so hot," he starts going making you feel a light-headed, "I will eat you later okay?" Jeonghan says, "Don't worry, I will eat you out and I will let you fuck me, you just need to tell me what you need."

"Just," You hiccup, "Just like that."

Jeonghan listens to you, even though the position is not the best to his wrist and he could do so much better - but you just keep babbling on and on about how you are almost there, how he just needs to stay like that, how you are feeling so good that he listens to you, how could he not when you are almost coming undone against his fingers?

And then you bring Jeonghan's face up to a kiss, his mind was too focused on his fingers disappearing against your folds to catch on earlier, but you don't seem to mind when you lick against his mouth and finally cum. Jeonghan holds you against his body for a few seconds when he finally hears you groan.

"God I am so sticky," you complain and he finally laughs.

Jeonghan though, keeps his promise and he eats you out after that, and he fucks you too, and then, he just forgets he has his own room.

It is weird how much you two fit each other. And how seamlessly you two turn into boyfriend-girlfriend situations, or legally, husband-wife, but who cares about silly papers really?

Everything is normal really - Jeonghan keeps saying he need just a better Ttoram version before you two start promoting on social media. You two keep sharing dinners, and Jeonghan even makes a point about how the two of you need to go on a date. You bribe him, telling him he needs to call Cheol before the wedding - and he just shrugs and picks his phone up calling his best friend, you almost scream, it was that easy?

You two share everything, you don't know why but Jeonghan just chooses your bed to sleep in, you question him saying you want to sleep on his bed too - it just smells like you, is nice - he says before making a weird noise after face planting one of your pillows.

It comes to the point that you get weirded out when you wake up and he is not on your bed. When you pick yourself up and finally drag your body out of the bed - something weird happens, an unknown voice resonates in your house - okay not yours, Jeonghan's but...

You find Jeonghan in the kitchen, back facing you, sipping a cup of tea with another woman. A very gentle elderly lady, her hair is almost all white, and everything about her screams grandma. She sees you before you can say anything,

"Hi dear," even her voice is gentle.

"Han?" You ask when Jeonghan stares at you, eyes fondly taking up your sleepy self.

"Hey baby, come here," He says opening his arms, "come here Iris was talking about how she was visiting her third grandson can you believe that?"

You could, sure, everything about her screamed grandma in uppercase letters, but what was happening?

"Yes," the old lady answers, "where was I?" she claps before she picks back up again, "See like I was telling you, Aroon's mom is my youngest daughter, and her pregnancy hadn't been the easiest so that's why I couldn't bring the table back," she says and you neck almost snaps, looking at Jeonghan's, he is so proud of himself that you almost scream. "So I'm sorry dear, your husband told me how much it meant to you but I was out of town so-"

God, he looks so proud and so full of himself, he couldn't be happier right now. God, you are so deeply in love with him. You could marry him all over again.

[BONUS SCENE ONE - THE WEDDING}

“Are we doing this for real?” You ask and the world is kinda spinning a little bit, by your side, Jeonghan holds your hand. You both stare at this little chapel, the Elton John one because you said that you would prefer to be married with don't go breaking my heart, Tiny Dancer or even Berry and the Jets as a soundtrack than any of the Elvis’s songs and of course Jeonghan listened, he listened to everything you said. What a fucker, how could you not be in love with this guy? What? Wait-

“Of course, we are doing this, we made a bet,” Jeonghan says still staring at the chapel.

“Only because we made a bet,” you say looking at him. When Jeonghan turns his head to look at you something inside you sings a bit - like a doll with something in the inside broke and jiggling inside.

“Of course darling, only because we made a bet,” Jeonghan says, holding your hand firmly, he smiles at you, and out of nowhere he is running inside the building and you follow him around because why not?

It seemed like a fucking great idea, and you both did lose the bet, even though right now you can't really think straight - how does a bet work? Can both people lose a bet at the same time? You are not totally sure but you guess Jeonghan is right, it can happen.

[BONUS SCENE TWO - BIOGRAPHY]

When Jeonghan finally opens the hotel door you almost fall in the room, but before you fall face flat on the floor Jeonghan's hands save you from breaking your nose.

“Wow, what a gentlemanly husband I have,” You say, tapping his chest.

“Sure, sure, perfect husband material right here,” Jeonghan says pointing at himself the door still open.

“You are,” you gushed, hands on his shoulders searching for some kind of balance, using these high heels shows was so wrong, but you knew at least you would be pretty in your wedding pics, and in the end, that’s all that matters - the pictures for your own autobiography that you will make for your grandchildren. You always told Jeonghan that you would make one for him too, with every single thing he gave you as a safe keep and the collection of pictures you have of him in different times of his life. You have pictures of Jeonghan with his long hair, with his short hair, the time he died it was almost white because he thought it would be so so cool and ended up hating how it fucked up his scalp. You had the material, you had the story, and you could do his biography, the funny thing now it is that his grandchildren could be yours too.

“What are you laughing at?” Jeonghan says, kneeling at your feet and taking your shoes off, wow, a life-saver.

“I just thought about grandchildren,” you squealed in a high-pitched voice that you didn’t know you had until Jeonghan’s hand found your hips.

“Grandchildren?”He asks you softly.

“The biographies,” you say and Jeonghan nods, “I was thinking about how I always pictured us together when we were gray and old in a nursing home together all that jazz, but know that I thought about it, your family will be my family so the grandchild will be the same kids, I won’t do your biography for your grandchildren I will do your biography for my grandchildren as well that changes a lot of things,”

“Like what?” He asks amused

“I don’t know if I want to tell them about the time you were sure to have gonorrhea or something like that”

“I do think we can let this story die with us,”

“wait, now that I am thinking about it like we only have one family," You say, a pouting on your lips, and Jeonghan almost melts, "that means only one visit in the nursing home because like when our family as separate entities we would have two families so two visit yours and mine now that I think about it I think we should divorce

“We are not divorcing," Jeonghan says.

“We can annul It,” you try again.

“We won't do it,” Jeonghan says, shaking his head like you are talking nonsense.

“But two visits are better than one,” You say showing him your fingers and trying to make him understand that two are indeed better than one, boys like girls even sang about this, was Jeonghan dumb?

“I won't have a family if it isn't your family,” Jeonghan says plopping down on the bed.

“Of course you can have a family,” you are sure of it Jeonghan is amazing there is nothing stopping him.

“But I don't want to,” Jeonghan whines looking at you and you get it, you finally get it.

“Damn boy you are crazy about me,” you say laughing, laying on his side.

“Now you are catching up,” Jeonghan says while his arms close around you.

“Still think two is a bigger number”

[BONUS SCENE - SHOULD WE?]

Jeonghan, your husband of three years, is eating on the kitchen counter and you can almost hear the gears in his brain turning and twisting. Sometimes, you think that maybe, Jeonghan is like a toy that he built the week prior, if you pick him up and shake him around you can hear loose parts of him rattling inside of himself.

“What are you thinking about?” You ask while opening the fridge.

“Should we go to Vegas again?” He asks taking a bit of his breakfast.

“Vegas?” you say - your head peaking and your body stretched so you can face him while the fridge door is open.

“I was thinking we should renew our vows,” he says like he is thinking about buying lunch because he cannot bring himself to cook, “you know, I want you to actually remember our wedding.”

#Yoon Jeonghan fic #Yoon Jeonghan fanfic #Yoon Jeonghan imagines #Yoon Jeonghan smut #Jeonghan fic #Jeonghan fanfic #Jeonghan imagines #Jeonghan smut #Seventeen fanfic #Seventeen fic #Seventeen imagines #Seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #svt fic #svt fanfic #svt smut #svt imagines #t: writting #t: yoon jeonghan

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wip · 7 months ago

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A very very minor thing I have been curious about for a while, and I'm finally asking: why do you calculate queue posting times the way you do? For example, if I set my queue to post 3x a day, naively I would expect it to post every 8 hours. But in reality it posts every 6 hours with a 12 hour gap between days. Why complicate the math like that?

Answer: Hello @circumference-pie!

Buckle up y’all, it’s story time again!

First: nobody who works at Tumblr right now was a part of the work of planning the default queue implementation, which was more than ten years ago. So the full story behind “Why does it work that way?” has unfortunately been lost to the sands of time. All we can do is tell you how it works today and surmise some reasons why. The queue is actually a very clever system and part of how it works explains some of why it works the way it does. Also, there have been attempts to do what you ask—we still have “Queue 2.0” available in your Tumblr Labs settings, which tries to get closer to how you expect things to work.

Anyway! How the queue works today is not actually a queue in the traditional sense. There is no single list of posts that are in “your queue”. Instead, when you “Add to queue” after creating a post, we’re actually scheduling it to post at a future time, as if you had used the “Schedule post” option instead. We’re just calculating that time on your behalf when you use “Add to queue”, based on your settings, and how many other scheduled posts you have already. We use a secondary “index” model, called “ScheduledPost”, to keep track of posts you have scheduled on your blog. We do mark the ones that are a part of “your queue”, but the data model doesn’t keep one list of your “queue” per se.

You can see this in action on your blog, hiding in plain sight. If you add a bunch of posts to your queue, and then schedule a post for a specific future date, you’ll see both in your blog’s “queue” list, side by side. Because technically to us, they’re the same thing: queued posts are really just another kind of scheduled post, relying on the same always-running service to publish scheduled posts across all of Tumblr. Here’s a fun fact: we typically have about ~14.5 million future posts to publish from this list at any given time and are publishing hundreds of these scheduled posts every second.

So when you’re adding a new post to your queue, what we’re doing behind the scenes is starting at the beginning of your “day”, and creating time slots based on your queue settings. If a time slot is already filled, we move on to the next one. That’s why the default queue scheduler works how you describe—we’re trying to fill those “slots” based on the start of the day, rather than trying to divide the calendar day evenly. This just makes it much simpler for us to understand, scale, and predict when our “peaks” will be. At peak times, the publish-scheduled-posts service is publishing tens of thousands of posts in a manner of seconds. We did rewrite that post-publishing part of this architecture a few years ago to improve its efficiency and solve a lot of “lost post” bugs, but we didn’t change how “Add to queue” works.

However, the Queue 2.0 project available in Labs was an attempt to change the queue system to work as you expect—instead of starting at [beginning of day] and creating enough slots to fit [number of slots] every [number of hours], it tries to divide the calendar day into [number of slots] and fit the result back to the original algorithm’s mapping of the day. We never productionized this alternative approach, because it has a few bugs that some blogs hit in extreme cases, and we’ve never had time to fully fix them. It also can cause a bit of weirdness when time zones diverge, like with daylight savings time. Also, a lot of people prefer the default algorithm, and we haven’t thought of a nice way to transition everyone from one to the other. So for now, both options exist, and you can choose which algorithm for queue-slot-generating you want to use. We hope that makes sense!

While complicated, it is a great example of a system built by engineers to make sense and be scalable and predictable. But sometimes these kinds of systems, while clever, aren’t very intuitive to understand without digging into how they work.

Thanks for your question, and keep ’em coming.

#feature #posting #queue #backend

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chosoisamalewife · 8 months ago

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* Sees the angst tag in the masterlist * me: 😈

I request the finest dish of Sukuna and Male reader, with the drink being Angst. Sukuna had kept his Male servant around in the heian era and began to have a soft spot for him. But when he found a servant's dead body, he began to go mad. Now, the rest is up to you.

Sukuna x male!reader

A/N : I am a big angst lover so the moment I saw this request I squealed and instantly started writing

A/N : I gotten inspiration from the last of us opening for the death scene. Also Sukuna and reader had a special thing 😉😉 ALSO SUKUNA IS HEAVILY OOC

Sukuna wasn’t a kind man,well he wasn’t a man to begin with, he was a curse object that hated basically everything. He wasn’t kind at all, he was rough and mean. He was one thing that has zero weakness or so he thought. There was you he never understood why he adored you so much. You were a pesky human to him, a mere servant of his. However he couldn’t help but to be soft and patient with you. He felt pathetic every time he saw you smile, every time he saw your eyes and skin glowing in the sun light. The way you looked at everything with kind eyes, even him, a monstrous being. The way you trace the patterns all over his body, your fingertips grazing his skin gently like he was fragile glass as your soothing voice spoke. Oh your voice was something he could listen to always, it was one of a kind to him. He hated it but oh he couldn’t tell you to stop. You were a weakness to him and he hated, he hated everything about it, yet he couldn’t get rid of you.

He has even tried to, there has been many times he has thought about killing you. He has pictured it many times and many different ways, sometimes they come out of the blue. The other times is when you are sleeping peacefully next to him, his eyes starring at your resting face trailing them down looking at all the marks from him. He couldn’t help but to imagine ripping your heart out right then and there, doing the same thing you have done to him, making you feel the same pain.

You didn’t understand it either why he was so gentle to you. When you first became his servant he treated you like the other. He was cold and ruthless to you, the only person you saw he even remotely nice to was uruame. The first time that you saw something different from was when you bumped into by accident. The force of him basically knocked the breath out of your lungs. You just stared up at him with fear as he just stared down at you. You gotten on your knees "I'm sorry King. I must have been distracted I didn't see you." Your voice shook with fear. He reached one of his hands down offering it to you. You looked at him confused

"Are you gonna take it or what?" He asked without any emotion or tone to his voice. You put your hand in his helping you raise up. From there you saw him slowly began to soften. He knew the track you walked in the castle so he eventually start to intercept that track. He knew you liked to paint so he start to let you go outside to do that with his "supervision" of course. You had a favorite spot too, it was under a tree surrounded by flowers, so he had other servant set up a area for you there. He stood out there with you for the most of it he wanted to make sure you didn't run away. But that was just an excuse. He stood out there because of how peacefully you looked. He liked how you looked when you concentrate, he liked how your strong hands look holding the brush. He also did it to make sure that no one would disturb you.

One thing he hated more than how gentle you were, was the way you looked when you cry. Sukuna wasn’t a patient being which caused a lot of fights between the two of y’all. Sukuna never felt the need to apologize to anyone or anything but with you he just couldn’t help it. He felt the need to apologize especially after a bad one. Such as the recent one, he was sitting on his throne thinking of the way your eyes filled with tear before you stormed off. The way you yelled “If you are so tired of me then kill me! Do it already!”

He decided to ask uraume to make your favorite dishes as a act of him apologizing to you. When he brought the food up to your door. He could hear sniffling. He thought your were still upset so he put the tray on the floor and knocked gently on your door. "Y/N, I know you're probably still upset but here is some food. " That’s when he heard you say his name but it wasn't normal. It was odd like you were hurt. He opened the door to find you bleeding on the floor.

He ran to your body lying on the ground, the was a big gash from your chest to your torso. “Y/N, going to be okay.” He took you in his arms trying to pick you up which caused you to scream in pain. “ I know, I know but you have to let me. I have to get you help.” He tried again, your nails were digging into his skin as you screamed. “I know baby, I know.” Baby was a nickname that he has never used until now, it was always brat. He stood up half way before the grip you had on him let go and everything went silent. Your body fell limp in his arms. “Y/N” He sat down on the ground with your body cradle in his arms. He sat there just staring at the opened window. If he wasn’t late he could’ve caught that person, the thing that killed you. Or he could've killed it before it hurt you. The thing that took you from him. He’s going to hunt them but he doesn’t want to kill them. No, killing them would be to humane. He wants to torture them until their body can’t take it and give up.

He sits there for hours in the the silence of what use to be your lively room. What once was a room filled with laughter, talking, and other noises is now a room with nothing. The sound of the door opening interrupted his thought. He turned his head looking at the intruder, it was another servant. “My kin-“ the servant wasn’t even able to get the full word out before a slash went through his body. Uraume eventually came the fetch the body before leaving sukuna alone again. It began a repeated process of servants intruding to only be killed in a second

This went on for 3 days, your body started to decay but he didn’t move. He stayed there not caring about the decay or the smell. “Sukuna” Uraume opened the door gently. He stared at them with a look in his eyes that they have never seen before. Was it heartbreak, anger, madness that he didn’t want to let out. Simply because he didn’t want to disturb your resting body.

“I don’t want to fucking hear it.” He barked at them. They crouch in front of him leaving your body in between them.

“Sukuna, I think we should give him a proper burial. He doesn’t deserve to rot here.” He sat there for a second considering it. "Please" They pleaded with him hoping to get in his mind. He nodded slowly. "Where do you want to bury him"

"I know a place." Sukuna and Uraume put you in beautiful clothing before burying you along with your paint and brushes. Your favorite place became your resting place, under the tree surrounded by flowers.

For hours the quiet castle became home to thunderous yells the sound of things being thrown. No one even dared to ask Sukuna if he was okay, it was clear to what would happen. They would become like those painting of yours that he has ripped up. Those gorgeous painted vases shattered on the floor, he didn't care about the glass stabbing his feet. Everything reminded you of him and he wanted it all gone, it all destroyed and dead just like you. Sukuna's madness went as far as killing every other servant that met you. They knew that you were a weakness to him and he couldn't let them live. He made sure that only him and Uraume remembered you.

Over the course of centuries you began to fade into the back of his mind, a place that he will never tap back into. Those memories no longer had the same effect on him. They didn’t make him soft like they use to. They made him angry, viewing them as a time that he was weak. He even forgot that he was on a hunt looking for the person or curse that killed you. If anything he now wishes it was him that did it. He sees you as having a victory over him simply because he couldn't. You were his biggest regret and now you exist forvever in the back in his mind. You were like a thorn in his foot that he can never get out. No matter how much it annoyed him, it will always be there so he learned to ignore it.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x male reader #male reader #sukuna x male reader #sukuna ryomen #sukuna x reader #sukuna

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b4tboys · 2 years ago

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➣ a new year’s kiss

pairing: ayato, albedo, alhaitham, aether x gn!reader

summary: the countdown begins and you unexpectedly have someone asking to be your new years kiss

notes from lee: this one goes out to all my introverts and people that don’t like parties. i don’t either but there’s no new years kiss waiting for anyone sitting in bed at midnight yk + idk what even transpired while i was writing this and idk if it’s ooc since it’s been a hot minute since i’ve written anything so enjoy? AND wishing for all of you to have an amazing new year! i’m super thankful for all of y’all to be supporting me on this blog and yeah! love you guys immensely 🫶

it’s not normal for you to be at a party new year’s eve but your friend has insisted. saying “new year, new you!” and promptly whisking you away to some party.

you know nobody and the whole party seems to drag on for far too long. the countdown is closing in on zero and most hold their partners close in anticipation for the new year’s kiss tradition.

you know that there probably wasn’t anyone here that would ask to kiss you and you’re much too shy to ask someone yourself. but unknown to you, there’s someone making their way across the room right now, determined to ask you for a kiss.

ayato:

you stick to the wall with a cup in hand as the countdown starts. you expect nothing because that’s how it’s been every other year, but unexpectedly there’s someone cupping your cheek

“do you mind?” he asks and you shake your head no and as the tv and people scream happy new year, the stranger places his lips on yours

it’s a short peck but you enjoy it nonetheless. you look up at the man who had just kissed you to find it’s kamisato ayato

he’s extremely gorgeous and the frequent topic of discussion amongst your friends for his looks and money

you think you’ve maybe had a class or two with him but nothing to ever warrant getting to know him

“thank you for making my new year memorable…” he trails off as a way to ask for your name

“on contrary i should be saying thank you. i’m (y/n), it’s nice to meet you or should i say kiss you?” you laugh at your own joke awkwardly and you’re ready for him to leave and go back to his friends at this point

however, he continues to talk to you, “you know, there’s a common saying about sharing a kiss on new years. it’s something along the lines of having a good relationship with the person you kiss.”

he pauses to take note of your reaction before continuing “so i believe that means we will have a good relationship ahead of us, that is if you will go out with me?”

albedo:

you’ve been sitting out on the patio waiting for your friend to be finished because archons knows you were done the moment you got here

parties are not for you. they are overwhelming and teeming with people you don’t know and awkward social situations. you wish you had stayed at home and celebrated by yourself, if at all

it’s cold outside and unfortunately you left your coat inside but it’s too much work to go in and come back out. so you sit with your knees tucked into your chest and wait

that is until someone drapes a coat around your shoulders. “you looked cold. sorry if i’m overstepping your boundaries.”

you turn to say thank you, but the words don’t seem to come out as you can only focus on how pretty the boy in front of you is

“it seems like parties aren’t your thing either. i’m albedo by the way. i’m not fond of making friends at these kind of things but…” he trails off unsure of how to finish his thoughts

“no, no i get it! you never know what types of people attend these things.” you laugh awkwardly before sticking out a hand for him to shake and introducing yourself, “i’m (y/n). and thanks for the jacket but i would feel terrible if you were cold too.”

you shrug off the jacket and fold it over your arm for him to take but he just smiles and pushes it back your way. “i don’t get too cold actually. i just take it so my friends don’t worry and to offer to pretty people.”

you laugh in disbelief but don’t say anything. you put the coat on again, thankful that it is providing some warmth

you look inside as you hear people start to countdown and steal a glance towards albedo

you would ask him the question but you’ve just met him and you know you’re not bold enough to ask even if he had been flirting with you just a moment ago

luckily you don’t have to do anything. albedo reaches out to find your hand, “may i have the honor of being your new year’s kiss?”

normally you would say no, he’s a stranger after all, but even being at a part was not normal for you, so you nod

he leans down to where you sit and puts his face close to yours waiting until the countdown reaches zero. and when it does, his warm lips meet yours and you can feel the smile on his lips as he kisses you

alhaitham:

you’re in the kitchen when he approaches you. he looks over at something before saying anything and you’re almost tempted to just leave

“hi. i’ll get straight to the point. i made a bet with my annoying roommate that involves kissing you at midnight. i’m getting $500, a night of peace, and a bottle of wine. if you agree, you get half. if not no worries, i’ll find another way to kick him out.”

you almost want to laugh at the comical situation you’re in. there’s no way this is real, a good looking guy offering to pay to kiss you? “is he that bad? and i don’t know you, what makes you think i would agree?”

he raises his eyebrows and smirks, “i’m alhaitham. i attend the sumeru academia and am double majoring in ancient history and linguistics. i like to read and i work at the library on campus. that should be sufficient, no?”

he ends his little summary of himself and looks back once again and this time you follow his gaze. he’s looking at the tv to see how much time is left in the countdown.

you only shake your head at him, with a slight smile. what harm was there in letting an attractive guy kiss you and then pay you for it?

“i expect my pay by the end of the week.” you tell him and his eyes seem to light up if only slightly at your agreement

when the countdown reaches zero he doesn’t hesitate to press his lips onto yours. his lips are warm and pull away quicker than you would like.

you can definitely hear a mortified “NO” over the shouts of everyone else and alhaitham only laughs instead of searching for the voice

he takes out his phone and hands it to you so you can give him your number and you do the same. “$250 and a date, yeah?”

you tilt your head in confusion, a date? he said nothing about that earlier

he smirks once again and explains, “i did say half of my earnings and half a bottle of wine shouldn’t be enjoyed alone.”

aether:

he’s knelt on the floor when you almost step on him, either knocked down or looking for something, but you try not to question it

“oh my archons, i’m so sorry! i didn’t notice you, um is there anything i can help you with.” you extend a hand out for him to grab and help pull him up and he takes it

“sorry, i’m looking for my sister. i didn’t notice where she went and was just a bit worried about her.” he reaches his hand back to scratch at the back of his head.

he introduces himself and then describes what she looks like and as you turn to help him look he grabs your wrist and turns you back around

“i’m sorry, that was a lie. she’s standing with the rest of my friends who told me i need to come over here and talk to you. they’re sick of listening to me talk about how pretty you are.” he sighs and is flushed red at the confession and moves his gaze to the floor

your eyes widen and you don’t even know what to say. “seriously? good thing i think you’re pretty cute too.” you smile and he picks up his head

he looks anywhere but you and is still flushed. “would you mind if i kissed you at midnight then?”

you just shake your head at the shy boy, but you still agree. when the countdown reaches zero his kisses you and you can hear his friends chant his name and cheering him on

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togrowoldinv · 1 year ago

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Timeless

Milf!Wanda x Female Reader

After you meet Wanda’s boys for the first time, she finally takes that next relationship step with you

Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Kissing, cursing, oral (W receiving), thigh riding, slight mommy kink, Wanda and R’s first time

Note: I just think that milf Wanda… enjoy!

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

When you first met Wanda, you knew something shifted. You weren’t usually one to go to parties, but your friend Natasha had convinced you to come.

All it took was one glance at Wanda from across the crowded room and you knew she was someone special.

You got up the courage to speak to her, and the two of you talked for hours. Even with the loudness of the crowd, it felt like no one else was there.

She told you about her sons. You listened intently as she recalled a story about the boys tricking her into letting them have cake batter for dinner. Wanda giggled as she spoke about the twins. You couldn’t wait to learn more about the woman.

So, when Wanda asked for your number, you gave it to her happily. You’ve been on three dates since then. Tonight, Wanda is introducing you to her sons.

You swallow your nerves and knock on her front door.

“Y/n! Come on in,” Wanda says, opening the door further.

“These are for you,” you say. You hand her the bouquet of flowers and she kisses your cheek in thanks.

“The boys are upstairs playing,” Wanda remarks. “They’re excited.”

You follow her further into the house and watch as she flawlessly cooks dinner and puts the flowers in a vase simultaneously.

“I’m excited too. And nervous,” you admit.

“Oh, don’t be nervous, baby. I promise I am doing this because I know they’ll like you. Me and my boys are a package deal, you know?”

You nod in understanding. You want this to go well so badly that you are practically bursting with anticipation.

Wanda starts some small talk as you recount how your respective days went. When dinner is ready, she calls for the twins.

“Billy! Tommy! Dinner!” She calls up the stairs. “They got some new video game, and I can’t drag them away from it.”

Before you can reply, the boys come running down the stairs.

“What did I say about running?” Wanda scolds them lightly.

“Sorry, sorry,” they reply.

“That’s alright,” she says. Then turns to you. “Boys, I’d like to introduce you to someone. This is Mommy’s friend y/n.”

“Hello Ms. y/n,” one of the boys greets you. “I’m Tommy.”

“Nice to meet you, Tommy. And that makes you Billy,” you greet the other boy. “You look so much like Wanda.”

“Is that a good thing?” He asks, his eyebrow sweetly raised in question.

“It’s a great thing,” you say, shooting Wanda a smile. Her cheeks tinge a light pink.

Wanda shuffles all of you into the kitchen. She made spaghetti, one of the things she knew the boys would eat, and it smells delicious.

The family enjoys light conversation, and you add comments randomly. Everything seems to be going really well. There is lull in the conversation, so you decide to make an effort to learn more about the boys.

“So, your mom tells me y’all have a new video game,” you say. The boys’ attention turns to you. “What game is it?”

“The new Mario one,” Billy says.

“Yeah, it’s so fun!” Tommy adds.

“That’s so cool! I used to play Mario when I was a kid,” you reply.

“We can show you after dinner,” Tommy says.

“Now, Tommy our guest may not want to play Mario,” Wanda jumps in. “Plus, it’ll be your bedtime.”

“But- can we play just 30 minutes?” Billy asks. He pouts. “Mom please!”

“Yeah, please Mom!” Tommy adds.

Wanda looks to you.

“I’m with them. Please Mom may we play?” You ask. Wanda can’t ignore the way it makes her core ache when you called her mom.

“Fine. 30 minutes and then bedtime,” Wanda relents.

A chorus of thank yous comes from the other three of you. Wanda shakes her head affectionately.

The boys run off to get the game set up and you help Wanda clean up dinner.

“You know I’m beginning to think I’m going to be teamed up against very often,” Wanda says, handing you a dish to put in the sink.

“Sometimes I’ll be team Wanda,” you say. You kiss her cheek. “Hey, did you see how happy they got when I said I’d play?”

Your beaming smile makes Wanda lean in and kiss your lips. You kiss her back.

“I told you they’d love you,” Wanda says.

“I’m happy,” you say.

“Me too, dorogoy.”

You and Wanda scale the stairs to meet the boys upstairs in the bonus room. Tommy is already playing and Billy hands you a remote. They are surprised by your skills at the game, especially Wanda.

You try to impress her with every move you make. It works. Wanda is completely enamored by you. Especially when you take the time to show them both how to pass a hard level.

Bedtime comes too soon. You stay in the room as Wanda escorts the boys to the bathroom to brush their teeth. She stops back by the door on the way to their bedroom.

“They’re requesting you help tuck them in,” Wanda says.

“Is that okay?” You ask her.

“Of course,” she says.

You walk with Wanda to the bedroom and keep your distance, but you still say goodnight to the boys. You hear them ask if you’ll be there in the morning. Wanda says you just might be. With that, you turn off the light and Wanda closes the door behind you.

“Can you stay a little while?” Wanda asks a little shyly.

“I can stay as long as you’d like.”

Wanda smiles when you take her hand. You two go back downstairs. She pours you both a glass of wine. You settle on the couch together. Wanda is practically in your lap as she snuggles close.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” Wanda says. When you throw her a confused glance, she continues. “They haven’t had someone interact with them like that in years. Their dad, he was much more into playing the games and all of that. Since he passed, they haven’t had as much fun as they did tonight.”

“Oh, yeah of course. I want to get to know them. They are your whole heart and that’s what I want to love and protect,” you explain.

“They are my whole heart,” Wanda agrees. You place a hand on her thigh. She feels butterflies in her stomach. “But I think I have plenty of heart to go around.”

“Oh yeah?” You ask. “Enough for me?”

“More than enough for you.” Wanda grins. “Do you want to go to my bedroom?”

“Wanda, are you sure?” You ask her. This hasn’t happened yet. You’ve been respectful of her boundaries, knowing that she hasn’t been in this situation in years.

“I’m ready,” she says. “If you want to, that is. I understand if-”

You cut her off with a kiss. One with more passion than you’ve ever shared before. You take the wine glass out of her hand and place it on the coffee table. As you keep kissing her, Wanda stands up and pulls you into her bedroom.

You reach your hands under her shirt hem and wait for her permission. She nods. You slip the fabric over her head to reveal a perfectly sculpted chest and abdomen.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful Wanda,” you tell her. You reconnect your lips with hers. Her hands wander over your body as she slips your shirt off as well.

You reach behind her to unhook her bra, but you stop and once again wait for permission.

“Yes,” Wanda says. “Yes to everything. Just do it.”

Her eyes are hungry. You’ve only dreamt of this moment, so feeling her right now is absolutely unreal.

You take her nipples in your mouth and suck. Wanda gasps and holds your head in place. She hasn’t felt like this before. One hand plays with the other nipple while the other unbuttons Wanda’s jeans.

You slip your hand down the front of them, and she groans. Her wetness seeps through her panties as you brush your fingers over her.

“That feels so good,” Wanda mumbles. You grin and pull away from her breasts.

You take her pants the rest of the way off and pull her panties down to join them. Wanda moves to lie back on the bed. Taking off your own pants, you watch as her perfect legs spread for you.

“My god, you’re stunning,” you tell her.

“Me? Look at you,” Wanda says. Her eyes rake over every inch of your body.

You straddle her waist and kiss her again. This time your breasts brush against hers and she grinds against your leg that’s slotted between hers.

“May I?” You ask, moving to lay between her legs.

“I already told you yes to everything,” Wanda says. The sass dripping within it makes the wetness between your own legs increase.

“Fuck me,” you mumble.

“I plan on it,” she replies.

You dive into her core. You lick her pussy, and she shivers. Her hand comes to your hair as she keeps you against her.

“Oh, right there,” Wanda groans. “Fuck.”

It doesn’t take much longer before Wanda falls apart at your touch. You work her down from her high. You lick her clean and she pulls you up for a kiss.

She moans at the taste of herself on your tongue. Her noises make you try to relieve the ache between your legs. You rub against her thigh.

“Do you need to come, baby?” Wanda asks, her voice dripping with lust. She pulls you closer so that your folds align with hers. “We’ll do it together. Okay? Can you come with mommy?”

Her eyes go wide at her own words, but when you close your eyes in pleasure and move your hips faster, she grins.

“Fuck mommy, please,” you say.

“Come on, baby,” Wanda says.

Your movements become erratic. Wanda’s do too. The two of you come together, shouting each other’s names. When your movements stop, you two kiss and Wanda rests her head on your shoulder. You continue to straddle her lap.

“That was amazing,” she mumbles against you.

“So worth the wait,” you say.

“Thank you,” Wanda says. “For waiting. And for taking a chance on me.”

“It was meant to be, Wands. In another life, you still would’ve turned my head.”

The woman pulls her head away from your shoulder and you kiss her properly. You spend the rest of the night holding each other close and discussing your future.

You wake up to the sound of little feet running around the floor. Wanda grins at you in the morning light.

You were always supposed to find this. Your relationship with Wanda and her boys is timeless.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff comfort #wanda maximoff #milf!wanda

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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year ago

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𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕥𝕠 𝕒 ℕ𝕦𝕕𝕖 𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙

Ft. Luffy, Sanji, Zoro,

Black Fem Reader

CW: Suggestive, Nudity

Luffy

When you tell him you both were going to a “special” beach today Luffy didn’t really care.

“Nude beach? For what sex? Everybody has sex on the beach?”

“NO!”

Cackling the entire time

Not at the naked women and men around him no.

He’s seen plenty of naked people and been naked in front plenty of people himself so him having to take off his clothes was nothing to him.

It was the damn joke he made entering:

“I thought this would be a beach where I eat meat not see other men’s meat.”

He’s just laughing at himself with his dingdong out for 30 minutes

Also Luffy greets everybody at the beach.

Remember how he stood so proud and tall in Amazon Lily showing his family jewels?

Same thing.

Either than that he has no issues with a nude beach. He didn’t fawn over anybody and he kept his eyes on only you and his food.

However he did flick your nipple a few times while your were sun bathing to get your attention.

It got worse when you slapped his hand and ignored him, so he sat beside you on the towel, and reached over to place your nipple in his mouth.

“LU—-!?”

“‘M hungry and i ate all the food.”

“BUT WHY SUCK—“

“It’s the only way you payed attention to me….plus we’re naked.”

Why would you take him there.

Zoro

He accidentally stumbled upon it trying to take you to a beach ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND.

The moment you both enter you’re welcome by an old man with his (hard) dick greeting you both.

Mortified isn’t the word he felt.

He immediately covers your face by smooshing you in his tiddies

“HEY PUT SOME DAMN PANTS ON SIR!”

Face is red the entire time.

Stuttering mess too especially when you already begin to get naked.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS ISNT—“

“C’mmonnn let’s just try it.”

He tries to cover his face and leave but you insist to try it out.

After the promise of being in a secluded area behind a big rock he gives in

but he keeps his Sash on that holds his swords.

“Baby we are not ganna get attacked—“

“We don’t know these people!”

“So you’re ganna fight with ya dick out?”

Eventually Zoro does relax jusssttt a little because you brought a drink for him he does admire the view of your body while sunbathing.

“Take a picture it’ll last longer.”

“Nobody is looking at you woman.”

It is kind of weird for him only because you both are naked when having sex or taking a bath so it took him a bit to adjust if not expecting either.

He’ll never tell you but laying under the sun with you in the nude did feel great. Cuddled up, with you laying on his chest. Up until he heard Usopp’s voice calling for you both and you had to rush into your clothes.

Sanji

*sigh* …his idea.

He swore up and down he wouldn’t look at any woman besides you if y’all went.

That wasn’t a huge concern but the fact that he may try to get freaky on the beach was what you were worried about.

He only found out because of Franky too.

“PLEASPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE—“

It’s not like you were opposed. But…It’s Sanji.

He has seen you naked plenty of times and he swears he’ll behave so you guys head out.

Luckily it’s not very crowded and it was mostly couples.

It was such a big sigh of relief.

Sanji finds a nice out of the way area under a palm tree and is already tugging your dress.

“Okay calm down cowboy!”

He’s blushing already seeing you,

As well as yourself seeing his well taken care of body beside you.

He surprisingly behaves. Sure a few glances were snucked but that was mostly because you stared first

He even brings a little picnic and of course..

“Want me to put some sunscreen on you, baby?”

Such a perv.

But you allow him, his eyes marvel at your supple body, brown skin glistening as his soft hands glide the lotion all over your body.

Especially your thighs and breast.

He does have a few slip ups with you, maybe a kiss lingering for too long, causing him to hover over you and trail his lips down your neck. You swore you both forgot you were in public so you had to stop him before his hovering hand over your tiddy was ganna lead to something less appropriate.

“S-sorry.”

You did feel like a queen though. He fed you fruit, took PLENTY of pictures, and massaged your body

Appropriately.

But just like all good things it must come to an end

Because Sanji began to poke you from a specific area and insisted you both go home for the day.

Either than that you’d take him again.

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yootaesowlwrites · 4 months ago

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Warm Them Up - Hwang Hyunjin

A/N: Happy birthday @taichoushadow

W/C: 14.6K

Note: Blank blogs will be blocked. I don’t trust y’all, so make sure you have your age in your bio/desc or something on your blog or a pfp. Minors DNI or get blocked!

Prompts: “Your hands are so cold, let me warm them up.”

Warnings: Fluff, angst, smut, domestic, phone sex, masturbation, struggling to cum during masturbation, explicit language, explicit scenes, dirty talking, pet/nicknames, nudism, nipple licking, clit stimulation, fingering, handjob, blowjob, oral(Female and Male receiving), multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, emotional sex, aftercare, boring shower scene but he helps clean you and vice versa.

18+ Permanent Warning: Reader is on what your preferred use of protection is, aside a condom unless stated otherwise.

Age Warning: I will not take responsibility because you wanted to read this, but if you’re under the age of 18+, DO NOT INTERACT OR READ. Do not take this as educational, this is fiction!

The sun was shining down hard and the temperature was blazing hot and you, no scratch that, Hyunjin had decided he wanted to go out for a walk with you— which was already in itself a bad idea—. Still, he insisted that you wear a pair of shorts and ignored your protests of going on a walk in this blazing hot weather.

"You'll enjoy what I have in mind," He says as he picks up a gym bag, which makes you raise your eyebrow in confusion, was he going to take you to the gym now also? Has he gone completely mad? He could immediately see it on your face and couldn’t help but laugh. “With that look, it almost seems like you don’t trust me at all,” He slings the bag over his shoulder and picks up the house keys.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it just…” You begin and move your eyes towards the bag. “Usually when you have that bag, it’s gym time, and you know how much I hate the gym, so…” You lift your gaze to meet his eyes. “If you could maybe give some clarity…” He steps closer to you and reaches for your hand, which is fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“Baby, we’re not stepping foot near a gym,” He softly says. “We’re just going on a small quick walk, just trust me on this, you might enjoy what you find at the end of the walk,” You let out a huff and nod your head before grabbing the car keys.

“Okay, but if we go anywhere near a gym, or do something that’s absolute insanity in this hot weather, you will be in trouble,” You say. He nods his head and takes the keys from your grasp.

“You can do whatever you want then, I will be at your mercy,” He says and opens the front door. You step out first, and it immediately feels like the sun has slapped you onto the paving, and you just want to make a U-turn and go back inside the comfort of the cool house. “No, no, you said you’d trust me,” He closes the door behind him, locking it before making his way towards the car with you behind him, hating how it felt like the weather was making it feel like it was pushing you into the ground.

“We could get into the shower, take a nice cold shower,” You say and walk around the car to get into the passenger seat. “Instead we’re out here, being burned like freaking bacon,” He unlocks the car, and you immediately get in, hoping to get some relief from the heat, only to quickly realise it was much hotter inside the car. “Hyunjiiin!” He climbs in and places the gym bag in the backseat and shuts his door.

“Just hold on a second, I’m turning it on now,” He says. He knew you hated this hot weather, you detested it, and you always wished that it could be autumn all year round, which was your favourite weather. “I’ll blast the aircon on cold,” He switches the car on and changes the aircon settings and moments later the heated car slowly turns colder and more durable. “Better?”

“So much better,” You say. He nods his head and fastens his seatbelt and so do you before he reverses out of the driveway and drives down the road, to wherever he had in mind. The drive didn’t take too long, although it felt too long for your liking as it was 55 minutes before he had pulled into a parking lot area, you looked around and saw forest surrounding the place and a few other cars in the area as well. “We’re going for a walk here?”

“Yes, I looked it up, and you will like it,” He says and cuts the engine. “Give it a chance, if you don’t like it in the first 20 minutes, we will leave,” You look at him as he reaches for the gym bag in the back.

“Okay, deal, but you know I love forests, so we’re not going to be leaving any time soon,” You say and unbuckle your seatbelt before opening the door, only for the heat to slam into you again. “Ugh…” You climb out, fighting the urge to climb back into the car and shut the door, he climbs out and locks the car and walks around the car towards you.

“This way,” He says, and takes your hand. He guides you towards the entrance and down the pathway, you were so amazed at how beautiful it looked and the amount of shade that provided some shielding from the murderous sun that you hadn’t noticed him guiding you down several different pathways until you heard running water.

“A river?” You ask as you spot the running water, the sunlight casting off it like a reflection through the trees. “Ohh wow…” He leads you closer to the river before dropping the gym bag onto the grass and releasing your hand before removing his shoes. “What are you doing?”

“We are going to hunt for some crabs,” He says. He removes his shirt and drops it on top of the bag. “Come on, remove your shoes, we’re going to cool off also,” When he suggested a walk to you, he never mentioned crab hunting. “We’re just going to catch them and then release them again, the water is nice and shallow.”

“All right,” You say while nodding your head. You remove your shoes and take hold of his hand that he had outstretched towards you, you make your way towards the river and step inside it, instantly feeling the cold water running over your feet and a relief from the heat as well. “Ohh, that feels so good,” He smiles and releases your hand.

“Doesn’t it?” He asks. “What do you think about this walk so far?” He places his hands on his hips as he watches you, you can’t help but roll your eyes as you have to admit defeat and admit that you were enjoying this walk so far and that it was nothing like you had expected it to be.

“Yes, okay,” You say. “But you hadn’t mentioned we would be playing in the water, you left out that detail,” You bend down and scoop some water into your hands and splash it his way. “If you had mentioned it, I would have agreed.”

“Hey,” He quickly says as the cold droplets splatter onto his warm skin. “Okay, but I wanted to surprise you with this,” He steps closer to you. “It’s our last day together, and I wanted to give you a good memory for the day,” You nod your head, you have been keeping your mind busy and trying to not think about what was going to happen tomorrow. “Ow!”

“What?” You quickly say and jump out of the water. “What happened?” You could feel panic start to build in your chest and your airways wanting to close as you watched him bend over and reach into the water. “Hyunjin!”

“I just got pinched,” He says and pulls something out of the water, he holds it up and in between his fingers is a tiny crab, you place your hand on your heart and hunch over as you let out a long deep sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank gosh, I thought something else had happened,” You say and straighten yourself up. “That’s so cute,” You step back into the water and take his hand into yours to pull it closer to your face to inspect the tiny crab. “Tiny but mighty pinchers,” You release his hand, and he lowers it down and releases the small crab.

“Be careful, they seem to just attack you out of nowhere,” He says with a chuckle in his tone. “Wouldn’t want your toe to get injured by a baby crab,” You shake your head as you chuckle, only to feel something walking over your foot and your laughing dies down. “What?” You lower your head and manage to see a small crab walking over your foot, you reach down and manage to capture it and lift it.

“They like me, I didn’t get pinched,” You say as you hold up the crab. “It just gently let me know it was on my foot,” His jaw drops as he stares at the crab in your hand. “You shouldn’t scare them with your toes, Hyun,” You jokingly say and lower the crab back into the water and release it.

“Unbelievable,” He mumbles before he begins searching for another crab, determined to prove to you that his toes did not scare the crab. You continue your search for another crab also, but keeping an eye on him as he is practically crawling inside the river to find a crab. Almost an hour later, you were sitting underneath a tree in the shade and listening to the running water and leaves rustling as the wind blew. “Your hands are so cold, let me warm them up,” He says as he feels how cold they have become, he engulfs his hands around yours and brings them up to his mouth and blows hot air against them, making you laugh, but they already felt a little warmer, of course, they were going to cold, it wasn’t even two minutes since you had climbed out the river and sat down. “Better?”

“So much, thank you for warming them up for me,” You say as he releases them, but holding onto one. “My hero,” He chuckles and leans back against the tree he was propped up against.

“So, did you enjoy what I had planned for us today?” He asks. You watch as some clouds roll past, but you know the heat isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, unlike him.

“Yes, I did,” You say before letting out a long sigh as your shoulders slump. “Now we have to go home and pack your things, right?” He lets out a sigh and tilts his head back against the tree trunk.

“I don’t want to,” He mumbles. “I want to stay right here with you,” You give him a sad smile and lean your head closer to him.

“I want that too…” You whisper. He was leaving for a tour, and it would take a few months before you would be seeing each other face-to-face again, gosh, the house would be so empty and quiet without him, the bed would feel so lonely and cold without his body there, you didn’t want him to go, but he had to, it was his job and you knew it. “Just… let’s try and think about when it’s over,” You didn’t even want to think about the next few months, but you knew that it would plague your mind tonight when you wanted to sleep. “Let’s not think of the next few months, but when you’re back,” You weren’t convincing at all, but it didn’t stop him from smiling as he lifted his head away from the tree.

“Do you have any idea what I would do to you when I get back?” He asks. “They wouldn’t be able to get me away from you for weeks,” You couldn’t help but smile at his words, you would spend so much time with him catching up and hearing all of his stories about the tour, watching movies as the winter months once again settles in and takes over, but as for now… you had to face the reality of him not being able to hold you when you needed it the most.

Once you were back home the sun had started to set, and you were helping him pack his bags, carefully folding some items even though you knew it would only be thrown back in and shut like that as they go from city to city and country to county, whoever would be washing it would be folding it again and hand it back to them, only for it to be messily tossed back into the suitcase.

“This is so hard to help you pack,” You say. “It feels so wrong, even though I know it’s not for forever,” He places an item into his bag and reaches for the folded shirt in your hands. “Gosh…” You could feel your nose starting to run as tears formed in your eyes, he could see your shoulders slumping even more— if that were possible— and the corners of your lips were turned down.

“We’re both going to be crying at the end of this,” He says as he drops the shirt into the suitcase and steps closer to you, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you fully against him, and you automatically wrap your arms around him and bury your face against his chest, letting the tears spill, he could feel his eyes starting to burn and closes them, letting his tears fall, even though this wasn’t a breakup, the mere thought of not being able to see each other when you missed the other was painful. Your breathing was becoming erratic as your heart ached, you heard him sniff as you both stood in front of the bed in each other's arms crying. “I’ll try and contact you every day,” You could hear his voice shaking as he spoke, it was going to be hard for you both, it would be the first time since you had started seeing each other that he would be away for such a long time, but you knew that your relationship was strong enough, and you would make it, but the next few months would pass by painfully slow.

The next morning was even harder as you had to say goodbye to him, you found yourself wrapped up in his arms against the front door and tears streaming down your cheeks, not wanting to let go but having to let go, the other members from Stray Kids watched from the car as you and Hyunjin stayed in each other’s arm for a few more minutes before the manager started hurrying you both to finish, or they would be late for the flight, Hyunjin slowly pulls back from the embrace and lowers his head to kiss the top of your head.

“I’m going to miss you,” He whispers and unwraps one arm from around you and moves his hand to your chin and places his fingers underneath your chin and tilts your head up, your eyes were red from crying, and he knew that the tears weren’t close to drying. “I love you,” He lowers his head and his lips make contact with yours, a sob leaves your lips during the kiss, letting him know just how much you will miss him, your lips move together for a brief second before he’s pulling back. “I’ll see you very soon,” He unwrapped his arm from around you and pulled his hand away from your chin, you quickly grabbed onto his hand before he could turn away.

“I love you too,” You whisper. “Have a safe flight, and please remember to let me know when you arrived safely,” He nods his head and you slowly— reluctantly— release his hand and watch as he walks down the pathway towards the car and climbs in, looking back for a moment before the door was shut. Your heart clenches with pain as you watch the car leave the front of the house, you grip the door as you watch it turn down the road and completely disappear from your vision, you quickly shut the door and turn around and lean against it before slowly sliding down it, why did it hurt so much when you knew he would be coming back to you? Sigh… Summer was about to feel so cold without him.

It felt like time passed by agonisingly slow, and you wished you could jump to the end of the waiting period and just be reunited with him, even with him calling as much as he could, it still didn’t ease the fact that he was still months away from returning, but hearing his voice when you listened to him talk about his day and his new discovery in a new country brought you comfort and helped you through it.

“Gosh, I miss you,” His voice sounded breathy through the phone. “So, so much today,” You hear a low groan from him and immediately sit a little straighter at the sound, you hear a wet sound through the phone and slow down your breathing, hoping to hear a little better.

“Hyun…” You slowly say. “A-are you… to-touching yourself r-right now?” You almost couldn’t believe you were asking him, but fuck, you needed to know, you hear him take in a quivering breath, and you could almost imagine the scene in his hotel room.

“Y-yes,” He stutters out. “I want and need you so badly tonight, gosh,” You could feel your pussy twitching at his words, you push your thighs together as you hear another low groan fall from his mouth. “It’s extra lonely tonight,” You hear him take in another quivering breath before letting out a breathy moan.

“Fuck, Hyunjin…” You mutter and close your eyes as you begin to visualise his body in front of you, his skin was probably coated with sweat and his cheeks flushed as his lips were parted, and he moaned, his hair could be sticking to his forehead already, oh fucking… gosh.

“C-can you guide m-me through i-it?” The way he was stuttering was making your mind spin and causing blood to rush to your cheeks. You were bad at dirty talking, it wasn’t something you knew too well, but you could give it a try. “Just talk to me, anything, fuck…” You could feel yourself growing wet at his pleading tone, you may have to take a moment to yourself after this call or even join in and touch yourself, but could you really get him through it? You felt nervous, like you would mess up and ruin the mood.

“I…” Your voice cracked as you tried to say something, anything. “Hyun… how close are you?” You open your eyes and look around the living room area before getting off the couch, you need to get to the bedroom, and now.

“I’m getting there, ohh, fuck…” He moans. You enter the bathroom and make your way towards the bed, you need the most comfortable place in your home, and it would be the bed if you were going to try and get him through it. You pause as you reach the bed and move your hand down to your pants and take in a deep breath and push them down, making quick work of getting them off completely before climbing onto the bed, you slide your hand towards the hem of your shirt and slide your hand underneath it and upwards towards your breast while you place one foot on the mattress while bending your other leg and resting it on the mattress, you could feel your folds slightly parting in the position you were sitting.

“How much cum is coating your cock already?” You ask. “Why don’t you pull your hand away from yourself and check?” You hear a small whine fall from his lips before hearing the sloshing sound stop.

“My… my entire hand… is coated with it,” He sounded out of breath as he spoke. You cup your breast and rub the palm of your hand against your covered nipple, feeling it harden at the friction against it, your breathing slowly picks up, and you feel your skin heating up, your heart rate becomes faster, and you clench your walls around nothing which causes your wetness to move between your folds.

“It sounds like you’ve been touching yourself for a while now,” You say. You slowly slide your hand away from your boob and over your stomach, your fingertips move over the fabric of your panties, and you slide them towards your covered folds, fuck, you wished he was here right now and that it was his fingers instead, but it will have to do… for now. You hook your fingers at the side of your panties and pull them to the side and press them against your folds and feel warmth coming from between your folds and your wetness starting to leak from them. “Ohh…” You sigh and slide your fingers up and down your folds.

“Are you touching yourself?” Hyunjin’s voice comes through the phone, you push your fingers past your folds and press them against the inside of them, collecting your growing juices onto them as you slide them up and down your inner folds.

“Y-yes,” You sigh out and hear him inhale sharply, probably as he had gripped his cock at your words, you hear a sloshing sound through the speaker as he slides his hand along his cock.

“Fuck… fuck,” He chants out. You pull the phone away from your ear, you weren’t really one for speakerphone mode, but in this case, it was needed, you tap on the speaker option and move your hand to the top of your thigh of the leg that was lying on the mattress, letting him hear your juices moving as you slide your fingers through it. “Ohh, fucking shit, you sound so wet.”

“I am, and it’s all your fault for calling me while you’re touching yourself,” You say. You could feel sweat building onto your skin. “I wish you were here right now,” You slide your fingers towards your soaking hole, collecting more juices onto them before sliding them towards your clit, your muscles tense as you make contact with the bundle of nerves. “Ohh, fuck, Hyunjin…” His breathing picks up, and you hear the sloshing sound becoming quicker, he was sliding his hand up and down quicker and quicker at the mere thought of you touching yourself.

“I…” He breathes as he feels his balls tightening. “I’m getting… close…” You circle your fingers around your clit, giving the lightest friction to the bundle of nerves and slowly building yourself up, it would be a while before you would reach that blissful moment but knowing he could hear you growing wetter as you touched yourself and that it was helping him reach his peak was causing a ball of tension to form inside you.

“Are you going to make a mess on your hand?” You ask in a breathy tone. “On your thighs? On your tummy?” You hear a low groan from him, which makes you bite your lower lip and slide your fingers over your clit, you could feel the ball of tension slowly building bigger inside you.

“F-fuck,” He stuttered out as he was getting closer. “I-I…” His groans and moans were getting more and louder, signalling to you that he was seconds away from falling apart, you move your fingers faster against your clit and feel the ball of tension pulling inside you. “B-baby, I’m…” His whiny moans sounded so good, and you wished it was right next to your ear and his body against yours. “I… I’m go- I’m clo-close,” You could hear it in his tone, his breathing was picking up, and it made you circle your clit as fast as you could.

“Let it all out, Hyun, let it all out,” You say practically breathlessly, he could hear your juices moving faster as you were sliding your fingers through your folds to collect more wetness onto them. “Hyun, baby…” You slip a digit inside you and press the palm of your hand against your clit as you thrust your finger in and out of you, causing friction against the bundle of nerves and against your walls.

“Fuck!” He groans loudly, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you imagine his load spilling from him and making a mess on his thighs, stomach and arm. “Y/n!” Hearing him moan your name in pleasure causes goosebumps to form on your skin, and you tilt your hips upwards which makes your finger slide deeper into you, how you wished it was his fingers instead of yours, they certainly would have gotten you off, but here you were, so close to reaching your high while listening to him going through his. “B-baby, fuck, fuck, so good, ohhh,” You were getting frustrated that you weren’t getting to your high, it was like you just needed that one extra thing, and you weren’t sure what that thing was. “Ohh, fuck, it’s such a big mess…” You could hear how out of breath he was. “Are you still touching yourself?”

“Y-yes,” You stutter out, you were right there, but it was like it wasn’t enough. You could feel tears forming in your eyes as you curl and uncurl your finger inside you, hoping it could help you get there.

“Pull your finger out, baby, pull it all the way out,” He instructs. You do as he says and pull your finger completely from your pussy. “Okay, now spread your legs nice and wide,” You shift on the bed and spread your legs as wide as you can, hearing your wetness squelching as it moves. “I hear how wet you are, fuck, I wish I was there… okay, okay… take two fingers and push them inside you,” You were feeling sceptical about his guidance, but you were willing to try it, you push your fingers against your entrance and slowly push them inside you. “As deep as you can,” You feel your muscles tense as you push your fingers as deep as you can inside yourself. “Now massage your walls, keep massaging them,” He was trying his best to help you get through, knowing that you sometimes struggled to reach your climax when you touched yourself, you curl your fingers against your walls and rub the spot over and over, feeling the tension inside you growing.

“I can hear how sopping wet you are for me, if I was there I could just slip my cock inside you no problem,” You part your lips at his filthy words. “I’d push your legs wide open as I fuck into you balls deep, baby,” You knew he had done it before and the memory of that flashes through your mind, and you decide to add a third digit causing your walls to stretch around your fingers.

“Ohh, fuck, Hyun, ohh, fucking…” You moan as you feel your muscles pull and a tingling sensation forms at your toes before it slowly makes its way along your legs.

“When I get back, we should go shopping for a little something that could help during times like this,” He says. Your back arches, you had an idea what he had in mind, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to use that, but fuck, just maybe it worked faster. You feel your phone vibrate in your hand, a mental groan goes through your head, you didn't need or want anyone to bother you, especially right now. “That was me, I sent you a little something,” You turn your phone towards you and exit the call app and open your messages.

“Hyunjin!” You cry as you see him sprawled out on the bed, his cum covering his thighs and stomach which was glistening in the light and his hand lazily holding onto his soft cock, your eyes roll to the back of your head, and you shut your them only for stars to explode behind your lids moments later, you grip onto the phone tightly as the ball of tension inside you snaps, and you come undone.

“That’s it, that’s my good girl, my good filthy girl,” He coos through the phone. You could hear your heat drumming inside your chest and swear it was going to jump out of it at any moment, your body felt wet and sticky from the sweat, but your mind was high in the clouds as pleasure coursed through your body.

“Fuck, fuck, so good, Hyunjin, ohh, fucking…” You loudly moan. Your body shakes as you go through your high, and the image he had sent you keeps flashing behind your lids as you rub your walls to get yourself through your high. “Fuck, you call me filthy…” You mutter after a moment as you slowly come down from the high. “Yet the photo you sent…” You hear a breathy laugh come from him, and you slowly pull your fingers from your pussy. “I think you’re the filthy one out of the two of us.”

“I had to get you through your high one way or another,” He says. You couldn’t help but smile as you close your legs, feeling your juices squelch as they move around between your folds. “I’m glad it helped,” You find a comfortable position on the bed, laying on your side as the feeling of relief washes over your body. “Now, how was your day?”

That wouldn’t be the last time you would get a call like that, sometimes he would give you a warning ahead of time by sending you a photo of him holding his leaking cock and other times he would be sending you a photo to help send you over the edge after he had reached his peak, you would have to find a private folder for everything that he has sent you already.

The months that once seemed so endless were now quickly becoming less and less, and you were already counting down the days until he would be walking through the door and straight into your arms, and you couldn’t wait for the day that he did.

As he steps through the door he drops his bag next to it and immediately shuts the door behind him and reaches for you, you were practically bouncing with happiness, excitement and relief to finally have him back home and in your arms again and against you, his hand's instantly cup your cheeks and tilts your head upwards before he crashes his lips against yours, you place your hands on his hips and curl your fingers into his sweater, you feel his body moving against yours as he was removing his shoes by using his feet, not once breaking the kiss as he does, once he had them removed he carefully as you step backwards as he carefully steps over his shoes. Your lips were moving with his, and you could taste the chips he had eaten on his way back along with a faint taste of an iced Americano, he pushes you up against the wall and pulls back from the deep kiss, causing strings of saliva to break off as he does.

“I missed you so much,” He breathlessly says before pressing his lips against your jaw and leaving open-mouthed kisses along it and down your neck.

“I missed you too, so, so much, Hyun,” You say, feeling your emotions take control of you fully, tears were prickling in your eyes from happiness and the overwhelming feeling of finally having him back. “I’m so happy you’re home,” He releases your cheeks and moves his hands to your hips and pulls you away from the wall before slowly guiding you down the short hallway towards the bedroom.

“I’m just as happy, so happy,” He says against your neck. You reach the bedroom door, and he pushes you up against the frame and pulls back from your neck and reaches for your jacket, he pushes it down your shoulders and arms, and you release his sweater and straighten your arms to let the jacket fall to the floor, you move your hands to the top of his sweater and push it off from his shoulders and down his arms letting it also fall to the floor. “I missed this so much also,” His lips were brushing against your collarbone as he spoke while his hands were at the hem of your shirt playing with the fabric. “I’m going to just soak all of you in,” He lifts your shirt upwards, and you raise your arms, his knuckles brush against your skin as he pulls your shirt upwards, leaving a hot trail behind on your skin as he does, he pulls your shirt over your head and down your arms before dropping it to the floor.

“As long as you know I’m going to do the same with you,” You say. “And take my sweet time,” You move your hands to the hem of his shirt and curl your fingers into the fabric and pull it upwards, he lifts his arms letting you remove his shirt, you drop it to the floor and move your hands to his chest, your eyes move to his chest, and you slowly trail your hands down his chest and over his stomach, feeling his warm skin underneath your touch, your eyes follow your hands as you slide them over his stomach, you were taking everything in, it's been months since you’ve seen him in person, and you wanted to take in every single part of him, your fingers reach his pants, and you hook them into the elastic, he lifts his hand and places two fingers underneath your chin to lift your head.

“Baby,” He whispers. He moves his other hand between you and the door frame, pressing it flat against your back, and slowly slides it along your spine to reach the clasp of your bra. “I’m so glad I’m back, and here with you,” His fingers fumble with the clasp as he tries to undo it in one movement, you feel him tug on it before the clasp finally opens, and your bra loosens around you, he presses his thumb against your bottom lip and slowly slides his finger along it. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I missed you these last few months,” He slides his hand down your spine before sliding it over your hip and onto your stomach before slowly moving it upwards, he slides his thumb away from your lip before lowering his head and kissing you softly while his other hand reaches your ribcage and moves higher before taking hold your bra and pulling on it and letting it slide down your arms until the straps stop at your wrists, you briefly release his pants and allow your bra to tumble to the floor before your hands were back gripping on his pants. He cups your boob while he slowly moves his fingers away from your chin before pulling away from the kiss and lowering his head to your chest, you press your head against the door frame as you feel his lips against your boob just above your nipple.

“Hyun…” You breathed out as your heart was beating faster, and your skin was heating up quickly. “You can just show me, just show me how much you missed me,” You were breathing deeper as the temperature slowly rose in the room. “And I’ll show you how much I missed you too,” His lips touch your nipple, and it feels like your insides tingle at the touch, his tongue touches the bud, and he slides it up and down over your nipple, your lids flutter as your body reacts to his tongue, he places his hand on your hip while his other hand kneads your boob as he was rolling his tongue over your nipple. “Hmm…” You sigh as you lift one hand up and move it to the back of his head and curl your fingers into his hair, your muscles might have been tensing, but your entire body felt like it had relaxed in his presence. He pulls away from your nipple and moves his head to your other boob and slides his thumb over your nipple, spreading his saliva over the bud and causing it to harden, your fingers tighten in his hair for a moment as you feel his mouth wrap around your nipple before you loosen your grip as he gently sucks on it.

“I never thought I would admit this…” You begin to say, your fingers were twitching to pull on his hair, and you were growing wet at the feeling of him gently sucking on your nipple. “But I missed you doing this, fuck, I forgot the effects it has,” His hand on your hip slides higher and stops once he reaches your ribs, just feeling the warmth of his hand slide along your skin was making you feel more at ease with him back home, it wasn’t a dream, he was really home this time, in front of you and touching you. You close your eyes, taking in the feeling of him sucking on your nipple while his other hand was kneading your boob and circling your nipple with his thumb and his other hand was resting just below your ribs. “Welcome home,” You whisper. You pull at his pants with your hand as you open your eyes and lift your head away from the door frame, he pulls away from your nipple and tilts his head upwards to look up at you.

“It’s so good to be back home,” He says. “And by that I mean, that you are my home,” You swear you could feel your heart grow at those words, you didn’t think it was possible for you to fall even more in love with him, but here you were proven wrong yet again, you could fall even more in love with the man in front of you. “Let’s move this to the bed,” He squeezes your boob one more time before releasing it and dropping his hands to yours, which were still holding his pants, you release his pants, and he takes hold of your hand and pulls you away from the door frame and against him. His hand moves to cup the side of your face, and he leans in, pushing his lips against yours and kissing you, your lips move together, the passion and love can be felt throughout the kiss, your eyes shut, and he guides you into the bedroom slowly, you squeeze his hand and tug on his hair as you feel the bed touch the side of your leg, he pulls away from the kiss at your signal. “Lay back for me,” You slowly release his hair, and he releases the side of your face along with your hand, and you sit down on the bed, looking up at him as you lean back on it, using your elbows to keep you propped up to watch him.

“Do you need me further on the bed?” You ask, he leans down and presses his hands into the bed next to your hips with a gentle smile on his lips, he slowly lets his gaze roam down your body, taking in how beautiful you looked, taking in everything about you all over again, fuck, did he miss seeing your face during the tour, especially when you were going through your high, the pleasure that contorts on your face as you go through the pleasurable feeling.

“For now, I’m just going to remove your pants, and then you can move a little higher for me,” He says as he lifts his gaze to meet yours, You nod your head, and he lifts his hands from the mattress and moves them to your pants, he curls his fingers into the elastic of your pants, and you lift your hips, letting him pull your pants down along with your panties. His knuckles stay in contact with your skin as he pulls the fabric down your legs, he lowers down onto one knee, and you lower your hips and lift your feet from the floor and let him remove your pants and panties, he tosses them to the side and out of sight. He licks his lips as he wraps his hands around your ankles and slowly moves his eyes along your legs, pausing at your pussy before he moves his gaze over your stomach, his lips part as his eyes reach your chest, watching as you breathe in deeply before exhaling. “I know you hate not sleeping in your own bed, and you hate unknown places, but fuck… I don’t think I can do another tour without you there,” You take your bottom lip between your teeth and suck on it for a second before releasing it.

“I’ll consider it…” You say, not really up for wanting to talk about that right now, you could tomorrow, but not now. He releases your ankles and stands. “But let’s focus on now, right now,” He nods his head and reaches forward, his fingertips brush along the top of your thigh, and you take in a shaky breath as his fingertips slide over the sensitive skin of the crease of your hips before his hands are gripping onto your hips, and he lifts them and slides you higher onto the bed, your elbows collapse and your upper body hits the matters, and you couldn’t help but giggle before moving yourself into a more comfortable position.

“That’s better,” He says and moves his hands to the mattress. You watch as his muscles bulge as he lowers himself down and presses a kiss at the bottom of your sternum. “Bend these pretty legs,” You do as he says and drag the heels of your feet along the bed until your knees were bent, and you could feel your pussy lips spreading open, you can feel his arms pressing against the top of your thighs and feel his muscles move as he kisses a line down your tummy and over your belly button until he reaches the top of your mound, you reach down with one hand and slide your fingers through his hair before resting your hand at the top of his head, he lifts his hands from the mattress before he lowers his upper body to the mattress and lowering himself down to his knees on the floor, his arms wrap around your thighs, and he grips onto your thigh with one hand while his other hand rests on your lower belly, you could feel your insides doing a flip as you felt his hair tickling the insides of your thighs and his breathing fanning against your pussy.

“Hyunjin…” You breathe and shut your eyes as you try to take a moment to get used to the feeling of him being back between your legs.

“I missed this sight so much,” He says. You could feel your pussy twitch as you feel his hot breath against your folds. “The way you smell, how warm you are,” You open your eyes and stare at the ceiling above you, your lips part as you breathe through your mouth. “Now, let’s see your pretty pussy and remind you how my fingers feel against it and inside you,” You curl your toes into the bedding for a second at his words. His hand on your lower tummy moves over your mound and his fingers slide along your folds, your lids flutter as you feel his fingers moving slowly along your pussy before they slide between your folds, he spreads your folds even more, and you hear a faint sloshing sound as your folds are being pulled open. “Wet already,” He states.

“And you’re fully responsible for that,” You quickly say. His fingers slide along your inner folds, coating his fingers with your juices as he does, and spreads them along your pussy.

“I take full responsibility for my actions,” He says. You could feel your skin continuing to heat up and sweat slowly forming on your skin, his fingers slide down to your entrance and circles it before sliding them upwards towards your clit, he makes sure to slide his fingers around the bundle of nerves, not wanting to touch it just yet. “You can’t blame me for wanting to touch you like this and making you wet after months of being deprived of you.”

“I don’t,” You say with a gasp as you feel his fingers so close to your clit as he slides his fingers to your entrance, collecting more of your juices onto them while the palm of his hand was softly pressing against your folds, barely making contact with your clit. “It’s been too long, and your hands and fingers just feel so… good,” He slides his fingers towards your clit and your muscles twitch as you feel him slide them over the bundle of nerves, you press your heels into the mattress as you feel him slowly rub your clit. “Shit, shit, just so good…” You could feel your leg muscles quickly becoming tired as you’re pressing your heels into the mattress, your ass was feeling the burning sensation as you were squeezing them together while tilting your hips slightly. “Fuck, Hyun…” You feel his thumb replace his index and middle finger, and he presses down against your clit a little harder.

“You missed this, right?” He asks as he slides his thumb up and down your clit, this little… you thought to yourself as you pressed your shoulders into the mattress and closed your eyes. “You missed me touching you like this, right?” You did, fuck, you missed him touching you and making you this hot and bothered.

“Fuck, you k-know I d-did,” You manage to moan out, tension was building inside you, and you could feel the bedding sticking to your back and droplets of sweat rolling down the back of your legs. “Gosh…” He presses his middle finger against your pussy and slowly slides it down to your entrance, a sloshing sound goes through the air as his finger reaches your sopping hole.

“Fuck, you’re soaking now, practically dripping,” He says, and you feel him slowly sliding the digit inside you. “Fuck, you can take two, can’t you?” He pushes his finger fully inside you, making his thumb slide away from your clit as he does.

“Yes, yes, fuck, yes,” You quickly say, wanting to feel his fingers stretch your walls and pump in and out of you. His finger slides out of you until just the tip remains inside you before you feel a second digit pressing against your entrance, moments later he pushes them inside you, lightly stretching your walls around his fingers.

“You’re just sucking them in, baby,” He says and pulls them out halfway before plunging them back into you, his thumb is sliding onto your clit and away from it as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, you could feel a tingling sensation slowly travelling along your legs at the stimulation, your mind was spinning at how good it felt, and your breathing was picking up rapidly, and you could see spots appearing behind your lids, the ball of tension inside you was growing bigger and tighter.

“F-fuck, Hy-Hyun…” You stutter out in a moan, you were getting close. You feel his fingers slide out until just the tips remain inside you and feel a third digit slipping inside you, he pushes his fingers inside you, stretching your walls and causing a slight burning feeling as they get used to the stretch. “Oh, my fucking…” You could feel your heart drumming loudly in your chest. “Hy-Hyun…” Your body felt on fire. “I’m cl-close,” You slide your other hand around on the bed before grabbing onto one of the pillows while your other hand tightens its hold on his hair. “I… I… ohh, oh!” You squeeze your eyes tighter together as stars burst behind your lids and the tension inside you snaps. “Oh, oh!” You curl your toes into the bedding as your muscles tense.

“That’s it, that’s got to feel good after months of not feeling them inside you, right?” He asks as he curls them inside you and rubs the pads of his fingers against your walls, massaging them to help ease you through your high.

“Oh my gosh!” You cry out as your body shakes with pleasure, and you pull at the pillow, pulling it closer to your head as you do. Your head turns from side to side as your high slowly begins subsiding, and your body begins calming down, but the feeling of the sensational feeling remains, you lower your back to the mattress, and he slides his fingers out of you but continues rubbing your clit, getting you through the final few shockwaves of your high. “Hyunjin…” You sigh and release the pillow, your grip on his hair loosens, but you keep your hand there, you uncurl your toes and feel a distant ache in them from having them curled for too long. He squeezes the top of your thigh before he unwraps his arm from around you, he climbs onto the bed and sits on his knees between your legs before leaning over you and placing his hands on the bed, smearing your cum that was coating his hand onto the bedding as he hovers over you.

You really did need to change the bedding before sleeping in this bed tonight, but right now, you didn’t give one single damn about making a mess on the bed. With your hand still in his hair you pull him down and kiss him and slowly manage to roll him over and place yourself on top of him, you feel his cock pushing against your stomach through his pants and pull back from the kiss and push yourself back and sit back on the bed, crossing your legs in front of you as you do, you feel your juices spilling from your dripping entrance and onto the bed. You place your hand on his cock and slowly rub him through his pants, causing his breathing to deepen at the gentle touch.

“Ohh, fucking gosh,” He breathes out as he feels your hand rubbing up and down against his cock. “I need to confess, I missed that so fucking much,” You lick your lips as you feel it twitch inside his pants and decide it was time to remove his pants and underwear. You reach for the elastic of his pants and curl your fingers into it and pull it down, careful not to let any of the fabric get caught on his cock as you do, he lifts his feet and lets you remove his pants and underwear completely and toss it aside somewhere in the room. You slide your fingers along his length, rubbing your thumb over the tip of his cock and spreading his pre-cum over the tip before you wrap your hand around the tip of his cock and slowly begin spreading his pre-cum down his length by moving your hand up and down to gather more of his cum to coat his cock with, you unwrap your hand from around him and climb off the bed.

“Move closer to the edge,” You tell him. He grabs the pillow that you had pulled on and hands it to you, you take it and drop it to the floor and watch as he shifts himself closer to the edge of the bed. “You’re like a Greek God, do you know what a filthy boy you are for sending me all those dirty photos?” You lower to your knees on top of the pillow and place your hands on his knees, he sits upright and places his hands behind him on the bed.

“It did what it was intended for,” He says. “As if you didn’t enjoy it, you enjoyed it so much it made you come undone every time,” And he wasn’t wrong, you had come undone every single time.

“But it can never beat the real thing,” You quickly say. “I can’t feel your warmth underneath my hands like this through photos,” You slide your hands along his thighs and towards his hips. “I can’t smell you like I can right now,” You move one hand to his cock and wrap it around the base. “I can’t watch you react to what I do through a photo,” You watch as he deeply inhales and twist your hand around the base of his cock, the warmth from your hand alone was already causing a stir inside his body, and you lean closer causing your upper arms to brush against the inside of his thighs, he watches you with intensity and his breathing slows down, you part your lips as you near the head of his cock, and he feels your warm breath fall over it.

“Ohh, fucking gosh…” He moans while his lids flutter. Your mouth wasn’t even on him yet, and he was reacting like this for you already.

“You sound and look so deprived of my mouth, Hyun,” You couldn’t help but say with a cheeky smile on your lips. He licks his lips, ready to reply to you, only for him to gasp as you slide your hand along his length with a quick motion. “Just sit back and enjoy it now,” You slide your hand down his length and rest your hand at the base of his cock, your hair falls over your shoulders and land on his thighs, making his muscles twitch at the contact and the feeling of your hair tickling his thighs, you press your tongue against his cock and give a quick lick, the taste of his pre-cum bursts in your mouth as you hear another gasp fall from his lips.

“Fuck, I will enjoy every damn second of this, my beautiful girl,” He breathlessly says. You dip your head lower and press your tongue flat against the underside of his cock and slowly lick a stripe upwards, he curls his fingers into the bedding as he feels your tongue reaching the tip of his cock, you swirl your tongue around the tip before licking down the side of his cock. “Fucking shit, that feels so good…” He releases the bedding with one hand and moves it to the back of your head, curling his fingers into your hair. You lick along your hand that was wrapped around the base of his cock before you pull your head away and glance up at him and watch as he tilts his head to look down at you, you move your head to the side and place an open-mouth kiss onto his thigh, he watches as a small silver string of saliva breaks off onto his skin.

“You missed that, didn’t you?” You ask before lifting your head slightly and placing a kiss on his tummy while twisting and turning your hand around his cock, giving him some form of friction as you placed several more kisses on his tummy.

“Fuck, I did, and so fucking much,” He says. You could feel his fingers twitching in your hair, wanting to pull and tug on it, you squeeze the top of his thigh with your other hand before moving your head back until his cock was almost touching your lips again. “Shit…” He could feel your breathing against it, and it was making it harder to not lose control over himself, you slide your hand along his length to the top and slide the palm of your hand over the tip, you look past his body and see veins slowly appearing on his arm from how hard he was gripping onto the bed, you lick your lips and move your gaze back to your hand to make sure you didn’t accidentally hurt him. You move your hand in a circular motion as the palm of your hand rubs the top of his cock.

“Oh, oh, uhh, oh, my… fucking…” You feel his fingers begin to curl more into your hair, and he was gently starting to tug on it, you slow down your movements before wrapping your fingers around the tip and pump your hand up and down around it, sloshing sounds fill the air as more pre-cum oozes from his cock, you watch as he sucks in his stomach and his muscles pull and twitch as he was approaching his high, his lips part, and he begins breathing hard through his mouth, sweat was starting to roll down his neck and chest with how hot his body was feeling. “Baby, fuck, I… fuck.”

“Getting close?” You ask as you continue pumping your hand up and down around the tip, you slide your hand lower and press your thumb against the slit on his cock and slide your thumb along it.

“Fucking hell, that feels so fucking good, baby… fuck,” He moans, trying his best not to pull on your hair and let you take your sweet time with him, but he was becoming desperate to feel your mouth around his cock. “Fuck, I am, I’m getting so close…” You slide your hand down his length and lean closer, you look at him and see him watching you with wide-blown eyes and his lips swollen from licking them so much, you open your lips and hover above his cock for a moment, he could feel your hot breath blowing over his cock and he was waiting in anticipation for your next move. “Baby…” You lower your head and wrap your lips around the tip of his cock and watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head. “Fuck!” His muscles tense and he has to fight against his hips from thrusting upwards at how suddenly your mouth wrapped around his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, oh, my fucking gosh,” You slowly slide your mouth along his length, taking more of him into your mouth, only stopping before the tip of his cock could hit the back of your throat, you hallow your cheeks and begin sucking, saliva instantly starts pooling around your lips, and it didn’t take long before it started spilling from your mouth and running down his cock, you slide your hand up until makes contact with your lips before sliding it back down to the base of his cock. “Ohh, my fucking, I’m… I’m clo-close…” You unwrap your hand from around the base of his cock and slide it lower until you reach his balls and cup them. “Fuck, fuck,” He throws his head back as he feels your fingers kneading into his sensitive balls, you lift and lower your head as you keep sucking him.

“Shit, shit, baby, I’m go-going to…” His balls tighten, and he feels a faint heartbeat at the tip of his cock, you bob your head up and down, giving him just enough friction that was making his mind spin. “I…” His words get cut short as he feels a tingling sensation going along his legs and he couldn’t help but thrust upwards, pushing his cock all the way to the back of your throat, the tip of his cock slides down your throat and the tightening feeling quickly causes a flash of white to flash behind his lids, you lift your head and manage to catch sight of his stomach muscles pulling before you feel your mouth being filled with his hot load. “Fuck, shit, oh, oh!” His load spills from your mouth and splatters onto his thighs, while the remainder of it rolls down your chin and down your neck. “So good!” You pull your hand away from his balls and move it back to his cock and pump it up and down as you pull your mouth away from him, helping him through the high he was experiencing.

“Ah, ah, uhh!” His moans were loud, it had been months since he’s had such a mind-blowing orgasm, fuck, you knew just how to do it, how to make him feel so damn good. He lowers his hips to the bed as his high begins calming down and the last few drops of cum spill from his cock and roll down his length, splatters of cum could be seen on his stomach as he breathed in deeply and rapidly, he lifts his head and opens his eyes, the way he looked so blissed out was absolutely gorgeous, you unwrap your hand from around his cock and place it onto his thigh, smearing his cum further onto him, you lean up while he leans down to meet you halfway, and you press your lips against him, kissing him and making him taste himself, he releases your hair and releases the bedding before wrapping his arms around you and pulls you— or more like dragged you on top of him— making you straddle his lap, you move your hands to his shoulders and hold onto them as he pulls back from the kiss, breathing loudly.

“I need to taste you,” He says and rolls you onto the bed before you could even get a word out, he slips off the bed and moves onto his knees and moves his upper body between your legs once more and wraps his arms around your thighs and pushes your legs upwards and against your body, making your feet dangle just a few centimetres away from his back and causing your folds to spread open in this position, you could feel his hot breath blowing right against it which causes your insides to twist and pull together into a knot already, you had become wetter when you had sucked him off, and you were sure he could already tell.

“Hyunjiiinn,” You couldn’t help but whine as it felt like he was taking too long to do something, he couldn’t help but chuckle, and you felt the vibrations against your folds as he did. “For gosh sakes, Hyun, baby…” You mumble. His nose brushes against your folds, and you suck in a deep breath as you feel him slide it up and down, coating it with your juices, his tongue flicks past your folds and the brief contact with his wet warm tongue against your pussy have you gripping the bedding again.

“So good, oh, you taste so good, just like I remember,” He says before pushing his face closer and flattening his tongue against your pussy and licking a slow stripe along it.

“Fuck, Hyunjin!” You cry out and reach with one hand between your legs and curl your fingers into his hair. The way his tongue felt against your pussy was something you couldn’t even describe, but it felt so damn good, his tongue slides over your clit, and you feel goosebumps forming on your body, the bundle of nerves twitches against his tongue, making you tilt your hips up and causing his tongue to press harder against it. “Fuck, Hyun, that feels so, fuck…” You could barely create words for how good it felt, his hands grip the top of your thighs, and you feel your entire body reacting to it before you feel him pushing his face against your pussy and push his tongue inside your sopping hole. “Hyunjin!” You couldn’t help but cry out in pleasure, the grip you had on his hair tightened as you pull on it, slurping sounds filling the room as he licks, sucks and swallows your juices, he was like a man starved. “Oh, gosh!” Your muscles tense and you feel the ball of tension inside you growing bigger and bigger.

“Hyunjin!” You could feel tears forming in your eyes with how good it felt, he flattens his tongue against your soaking hole and licks upwards, you push your head against the bed and turn it from side to side as you feel it getting closer to your clit. Hyunjin could feel his cock twitching as it begins to harden again, eating you out and tasting your delicious juices was turning him on all over again. “Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, ohhh!” His tongue reaches your clit and pauses his movements against it, he lifts his gaze and watches as your chest heaves up and down as you breathe in heavily, your body is glistening with sweat, and he could tell just how close you were to reaching your high, he rolls his tongue over your clit before circling the bundle of nerves, you pull at the bedding, pulling it towards you and bunching it up in one spot.

“Hy-Hyun…” This man was making your mind spin with ecstasy and causing your body to shake with pleasure, his lips wrap around your clit and your back arches as you feel him suck on it. “Fuck!” Tears of pleasure roll down your cheeks and the side of your face, you squeeze your eyes shut and almost instantaneously you can see spots appearing behind your lids. “I’m going to!” You lift your hips high, and you feel his grip on your thighs tighten as he forces you to keep them in place. “Hyyuunnjiiiinnnn!” You curl your toes as a hot tingling sensation goes up your legs and stars explode behind your lids as the tension inside you snaps. “Ohh, oohh, uhh!” Your release spills from you as your walls clench around nothing, your mind is thrown into the clouds, and it feels like your body is floating. “Hyyuunnn!”

“Hmm, hmm,” He moans against your clit, causing vibrations to go through you and add to the pleasure already flowing through your body, you try to push your legs together only to squeeze them against his head and causing his face to push more against your pussy. “Hmm.”

“Fuck, Hyun!” You moan and pull on his hair as you feel the high slowly starting to calm down, and your body also begins to calm down, he releases your clit and circles the tip of his tongue around it, helping you get through the last few shockwaves of your orgasm. He shifts his hips only to feel his cock brush against the bedding, it was almost rock hard again from just eating and tasting you, he loosens his grip on the top of your thighs and slowly unwraps his arms from around your thighs, he pulls away from your pussy and lowers your feet onto his shoulders. “Gosh… that was…” You say trying to catch your breath, your eyes were still closed as you let your body soak the feeling it had gone through a second time that day, he reaches down with his hand and wraps it around his cock and slowly strokes along it, you hear a faint groan coming from him and open your eyes and lift your head and saw the lower half of his face was covered in your juices, you knew your chest was also coated with his load it had now mixed in with the sweat. “Do you need help?” He licks his lips and lifts his gaze to meet yours.

“Yes… move more onto the bed,” He says. “I need to be inside you in a minute,” You nod your head and lift your feet from his shoulders and place them on the bed. “Actually, just move to the middle of it, it’s going to be better, and safer,” You shift your body and move to the middle of the bed, you grab onto the bedding and push it down the bed and used your feet to kick it completely off the bed, he presses his free hand against the mattress and stands from the ground, you turn your head to watch as he strokes his cock and watch it harden as pre-cum leaks from it.

“We’re going to have to clean the floor too if you don’t get on the bed now,” You say. He can’t help but chuckle at your words, they were true, but the fact that you had to mention it was what got him to chuckle, he places his knee on the bed before moving his other knee onto the bed as well.

“You’re right, we already have to clean the entire bed when we finish, we don’t need to add the floor either,” He says and shuffles closer to you on his knees and places his hand at the top of your thigh, he strokes his cock a few more times before he releases it and lifts his leg to climb between your legs. “Are you ready?” You bend your legs and press the heels of your feet into the bed, he places his hands on your hip and a squishing sound goes through the air as his wet hand makes contact with your skin.

“I am,” You say. You could feel several emotions running through your body, but the strongest emotion was love, the love that you had for this man in front of you, he moves closer to you, making you feel his hard cock against your folds.

“Tilt your hips for me,” He asks. You do as he says and tilt your hips, he moves his hand away from your hip and wraps it around his cock again and slowly moves it through your folds, taking in the feeling of your warm wet pussy around the tip of his cock. “Shit, that feels so good,” He groans as his lids flutter, you lick your lips as he gets closer to your entrance. “Ohh, oh…” He circles his cock at your entrance, making sure it’s coated with your juices before slowly slipping inside you, your walls stretch around his cock, and you could feel a faint burning feeling going along your walls as he pushes himself inside you.

“Hyyuunn,” You whine at the sensation of him filling you. “Oh, oh, fucking… shit!” He releases his cock and places his hand on the bed and leans over you, causing his cock to shift inside you. “Ohh, Hyun, that, oh, my gosh,” You felt like a mess, and he wasn’t fully inside you yet, your pussy was already sensitive, and you weren’t sure if you were going to last until he would be fully inside you. “Hyun, Hyun, baby, ohh.”

“Ohh, that feels so…” He moans as your walls pulse around him, practically sucking his cock in, you could feel tears forming in your eyes. His hips make contact with yours as his cock is now fully inside you and his upper body pressed against yours, you’re both breathing hard, and you could see tears in his eyes and the emotion of love and realisation inside them.

“Hyun,” You whisper and reach up and place your hand on his cheek which makes him instantly lean into your touch, he closes his eyes which causes his tears to roll down his cheeks.

“I just… just realised, again, how in love I am with you,” His voice was just above a whisper as he spoke. “I’m just so lucky… to have you,” You feel your tears roll down from the corners of your eyes, and he lowers his forehead down to yours, softly leaning it against yours.

“I love you too, so, so much,” You whisper as your noses brush against each other. You were both emotional at that moment, the love for one another completely taking over. You slide your hand from his cheek to the back of his head, combining your fingers through his hair until you’re gently holding onto the back of his head, he lowers himself down to his elbows, closing any distance that there was left between your bodies, you wrap your legs around his waist and hook your ankles together behind his back, he slowly begins moving his hips, letting his cock slip out from you halfway before filling you again, his movements were slow, yet they felt just right at this moment. “Words can’t even express how much I love you,” You bend your elbow as you bring your other hand upwards to take hold of his hand, he quickly lifts his hand and interlaces his fingers with yours and pushes it into the bed. “You’re my comfort, my home, my everything,” He squeezes your hand at your words and tilts his head, his lips touch yours with a feather-like touch.

“I love you, Y/n,” He whispers before fully pressing his lips against yours, making you feel the love he has for you and making you taste yourself on his lips. Your eyes shut as you let the feeling of love consume you, the room fills with the sounds of your wetness sloshing and your breathing along with his and the soft moans and groans into the kiss while your bodies move together in harmony. You can feel your muscles tensing as his cock is hitting all the right places inside you with the slow pace, he breaks the kiss, making you both gasp for air and your grip on his hair tightens as you feel your mind starting to spin.

“Ohh, uhmm,” You moan, keeping your eyes shut while Hyunjin’s open halfway to watch your reaction, he wanted to see your face once you fell apart, it was his favourite sight in the world.

“Hmm, I missed the feeling of you around me so much,” He says, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

“I missed it too,” You whisper and open your eyes to look at him. Your entire body becomes overwhelmed with the feeling of love, and you can’t help but try to pull him even closer to you, even though it wasn’t possible. “Gosh, I know it’s not your decision, but fuck, don’t go away for so long again,” You could see a faint smile on his lips, both of you knew that, that decision wasn’t up to him. “Or at least not anytime soon again.”

“I can’t promise that, but I hope it’s not anytime soon again,” He whispers. Your toes curl as a tingling feeling begins making its way along your legs, the same tingling feeling makes its way up your spine, and you feel the ball of tension inside you becoming tighter, he could feel your walls clamp down around him, letting him know that you were getting closer to your release. “Fuck, keep doing that, and I’m not going to last before you’ve cum,” You bite the inside of your cheek. “I’m being serious, it feels so good,” He moves his forehead away from yours and buries his head in the crook of your neck, taking in a few deep breaths.

“I can-can’t help i-it,” You stutter out as your entire body feels like it’s been set alight, he could feel your body begin to quiver underneath his and lifts his head, your eyes shut and your grip on his hair tightens, and you squeeze his hand tightly as you feel your muscles pulling, your lips part and stars explode behind your lids as your high comes crashing down onto you, your juices spill from around his cock as he thrust into you a little faster as he feels his balls starting to tighten once again. “Hyunjin!” You cry out with pleasure, feeling like you’re floating, you push the heels of your feet against his lower back as his movements become uneven. “Oh, oh, ahh!” He could feel a heartbeat forming in the head of his cock and your walls were milking him to fill you, he could barely focus on watching your expression as your face contorted with pleasure. “Hyun!” You turn your head from side to side, pushing your head into the mattress as you do from how good it all feels, his hips stutter forward as a sudden hot feeling goes through his cock, and he comes undone, his hot load spills into you, and he struggles to keep up the pace as he fills you.

“Fuck, fuck, oh, my fucking, ahhh!” He moans as his mind spins with pleasure. “Uhh, hmm,” You slowly come down from your high with your mind still spinning and your body feeling tingly, his hips rock into yours as he gets through his high while your walls pulse around him, helping him through the last few shockwaves. He releases your hand, and you feel him rocking your body to the side, you manage to unwrap your legs from around him just as he turns and pulls you on top of him, managing to stay inside you as he did, his hands move behind you and rests on your lower back while you move your hands to his shoulders and lower your head to his chest, listening to his fast pace heartbeat slowing down as the minutes pass by, the feeling of the afterglow settling in, and your body cools down as the sweat begins to dry and become sticky. “How are you?” He asks, breaking the silence in the room after several minutes. “I didn’t get a chance to even ask how your day was when I got back,” You lift your head to look at him.

“You made my day,” You say. “Which made me feel good, and you made me feel even better,” He nods his head with a soft smile on his lips. “Was it a good flight?”

“Hmm, it wasn’t bad, it just took too long,” He says. “It felt like it would never end,” You couldn’t help but smile. “It’s true what they say, when you’re looking forward to something, it feels like an eternity to reach the destination.”

“That’s true,” You say. “I can confirm, the entire day felt like it was passing by too slowly,” He slides his hand along your spine before lifting it and moving it to the top of your head.

“How are you feeling now, though?” He asks as he gently combs his fingers through your hair, feeling how wet it was from all the sweat.

“So good, and so filthy too, the sweat, the cum…” You say and pull a face which causes him to laugh, oh, how you missed hearing his laugh in person. “Tingly also, my body just feels tingly,” He nods his head. “And you?”

“So good, my body is buzzing from how good that was,” He says, you nod your head. “Let’s go clean ourselves though, so we can come and do the dreaded part.”

“And what’s the dreaded part?” You ask and push your hands against his shoulders and push yourself into a seated position, causing his soft cock to shift inside you. “Shit, oh, gosh.”

“Fuck,” You moan simultaneously, he takes in a deep breath as he releases your hair.

“Change the bedding, the sheets and the pillowcases,” He says. You wanted to groan, you were just made to feel so good on the bed and all you wanted was to cuddle after you had showered, but you had to change it, you couldn’t sleep on the mess you had made on the bed.

“Ugh, right…” You mumble and slowly lift your hips off him, his cock slips out of you and you slowly and carefully climb off him, plopping onto the spot next to him. “Shower first though, we need it, we really need it,” He sits upright and moves behind you, wrapping his arms around you and placing his chin on your shoulder.

“We do,” He mumbles and kisses the side of your neck before unwrapping his arms from around you and climbing off the bed, his legs feeling wobbly as he stands. “Come on,” He holds his hand out for you to take, and you do while carefully standing from the bed, your legs feeling like jelly underneath you. “I got you,” His arm wraps around you, and you slowly make your way towards the bathroom, you enter the bathroom, and he guides you towards the shower.

“Okay, no, I’m just going to pee first, I don’t want to feel that cold blast against me when you open it,” You say, making him laugh while nodding his head before carefully releasing you, you make your way towards the toilet slowly while he opens the shower door and opens the water, he shuts the door and lets it heat up while he waits for you, you finish on the toilet and make your way back to him.

“You’re walking slowly, should I hold you in the shower until you feel like you can stand on your own?” He asks.

“You should, you made everything feel like jelly,” You say. He nods his head with a smile on his lips and pulls you against his body before opening the shower door, steam from the warm water exits the cubicle before you both step inside it and shuts the door, the warm water washes over your body, and you could feel the sweat and cum being washed away. “Ohh, that feels better already.”

“Hmm, it does,” He says. “I’m going to wash your hair first, and then I’ll wash your body, is that okay?” You nod your head, and he carefully guides you further underneath the water, wetting your hair while making sure the water doesn’t go into your nose or mouth, once your hair is wet he guides you out from underneath the water, and you reach for your bottle of shampoo and hand it to him, he unwraps his arms from around you and takes the bottle.

“Just as long as you know, it will be vice versa,” You say. He hums, and you hear him open the bottle of shampoo before hearing him squeeze it as he pours some of the liquid onto his hand.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” He says and closes the shampoo. You take the bottle from him and put it back in its usual spot while he lathers it against his hands before moving his hands to the top of your head and gently beginning washing your hair, you couldn’t help but let out a content sigh, this felt even more like home, the care you were feeling right now was making your heart swell with love and comfort. “We can rinse it now,” You carefully step underneath the water and shut your eyes tightly and feel his hands carefully clean out all the shampoo in your hair before carefully pulling you out from underneath the water once he was sure everything was out. “And done, now to wash you,” He reaches for the soap bottle and grabs it, he opens it and pours some of the soap into his hand before putting the bottle back once he had closed it, he lathers the soap in his hands before starting to wash down your back and over your butt before he turns you around to face him, you watch as his eyes roam over your body, focusing on what he was washing, it was cute to see him so focused, once he finishes washing you, he carefully rinses the soap from your body.

“Finished?” You ask, he nods his head, and you reach for his shampoo. “Then it’s your turn now,” You open the bottle and pour some of the liquid into the palm of your hand before shutting the bottle and putting it back on its spot, he turns around as you lather the shampoo before you reach up and gently begin washing his hair.

“Ohh, that feels so nice,” He sighs. You finish washing his hair and guide him underneath the water and help rinse it off, making sure everything is out before you guide him out from underneath the water.

“Okay, now time for your body,” You say while grabbing his soap, you pour some of the liquid onto your hand and put the soap back where it’s supposed to be and lather it up in your hands before washing down his back, taking in every mole that you had missed and every detail you could find before gently tugging on his waist to get him to turn around and face you, you wash down his stomach and legs, making sure not to miss a spot as you do, once you’ve finished you rinse your hands before pulling him underneath the water and use your hands to help clean off any access soap. “And… finished,” He smiles and wraps his arms around you and pulls you against him, you stand underneath the water for a minute or so before he reaches for the taps and closes the water, he pulls you closer to the door and opens it causing a gust of cool air to blow inside the warm shower cubicle, he quickly reaches for your towel and turns to you, wrapping it around you before turning to grab his own. “Why does it have to do that every time?” You were already patting the towel along your skin, wanting to dry off as quickly as possible. “Can you hand me that towel too, please?”

“Let me wrap it around your hair,” He says as he takes the towel. You nod your head, and he carefully wraps it around your hair and gently pats the top of it before he begins drying himself, once most of the water has been absorbed from his body, he wraps the towel around his waist and grabs another towel to wrap around his hair, you hang your towel to dry and grab your deodorant and apply it before putting it back down and leaving the bathroom, he quickly hangs his own towel and applies his own deodorant before following behind you. You reach the dresser and pull it open and grab a pair of panties and pull it on before grabbing some underwear and handing it off to him as you turn. “Thank you,” He pulls it on as you close the drawer and make your way towards the closet that keeps all the clothes, he quickly strides past you and opens his side of the closet and pulls out a shirt and turns to you. “Wear this?” He holds the shirt up for you and you nod your head.

“Sure, yes, it smells like you, right?” You take it from his grasp and pull it on, a faint scent of him surrounds you, and you can’t help but smile. “Ohh, it still does, but it’s fading,” He takes a shirt out for himself and closes the closet door.

“I’ll make sure to fix that, ma’am,” He says.

“You better,” You say with a smile on your lips. “I’m just going to go get the bedding and sheets,” He nods his head as he pulls his shirt over his head, you exit the bedroom and make your way towards the hallway closet and take out a fresh set of sheets, blanket and pillow covers before making your way back to the bedroom. You place everything on the dresser and see that Hyunjin has started to remove the blanket cover and has already removed the pillowcases, you move towards the bed with the fresh sheets in your hand and grab onto the one still on the bed and pull it off with the help of Hyunjin, he drops them onto the floor and helps you put the fresh ones on, it didn’t take long before you were finished with changing everything on the bed and the dirty ones were scattered across the floor along with your discarded clothes, and the towels that were once in your hair and in his had been removed and tossed somewhere over something to dry, you had decided that you would clean everything up tomorrow, right now, you just wanted to lay down and cuddle.

“Ahh, so fresh, so soft, so nice,” You say as you lay down on top of the bed, Hyunjin climbs onto the bed and pulls you against him while grabbing the TV remote.

“Hmm, it feels so good to be on a fresh pair,” He says and turns the TV on, you cuddle into his side as he opens Netflix and scrolls down until he finds a Ghibli film to put on, he puts the remote down and makes himself comfortable next to you and against you for the first time in months.

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alizayildiz · 5 months ago

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Announcement: I don’t know who sent me a request bc it was anonymous but girl if you see this I misse posting too. But my exams are over and I’m back on posting regularly. I have to write a few requests on Wattpad and I’ll upload them on tumblr too!

This one is especially made for you!

Summary: Kenan’s thinks you can’t come to watch his important football game due to both of y’all’s schedules. However you manage to surprise him.

„Miss Yildiz, what a beautiful surprise that you showed up" Coach Montella spoke as he pulled me into a hug.

I don't know since when but it's gotten into a habit that everyone calls me by Kenan's last name. Not that I mind it, I quite enjoy it and to be honest Kenan does too.

Yildiz.

"Well, I try my best to support you guys" I speak as Coach Montella and I walk towards the VIP Lounge of the Allianz Stadium in Berlin.

After the Turkish National Team won 3:1 against Georgia they now play against Czechia. Normally they would play against Portugal but something came up with them and now it's Turkey vs. Czechia.

And normally I would be in New York City right now having a photos shoot for Victoria's Secret. A massive brand with a good name.

But I decided to reschedule the photo shoot. It costed me many nerves and phone calls to reschedule it but in the end I managed to do so.

I wanted to support Kenan through this entire European championship and that didn't work from the beginning on.

Because I missed the opening match against Georgia, he even scored a goal. So now I try my best to make up for it.

Kenan has always been my biggest supporter at everything you do in life. So it's only fair that I'm his biggest supporter too.

As Coach Montella talks me through the details of today's match I can't get my mind of the fact that Kenan's ex girlfriend Karlotta will be here too.

I absolutely despise that girl not only for what she has done to Kenan but also for that she has done to me.

„So five minutes before the game ends security will walke up with you to the pitch, is that alright ?" Montella speaks looking at me for an answer.

„Absolutely, yes, thank you" I speak smiling at Kenan's coach before the man leaves.

As I walk around the VIP lounge I make myself comfortable, one hour until the game stars and two hours till the game ends.

My outfit was simple but yet elegant, knowing that Kenan prefers if I walk around more elegantly than slutty.

After plugging my phone into the charger I open my Spotify playlist, good thing that these VIP boxes are sound proof.

Not so sound proof when Kenan fucks me in here though...

Opening the refrigerator I pull out a redbull and wash myself some fruits like strawberries and cranberries.

After placing them nicely on a plate I walk to the couch and let myself fall on it.

Gosh, sitting feels good.

I grab my iPad from my handbag and start to work online.

As planned I got done with everything I had on my to do list for today.

As I stood up I looked down at the pitch, the Turkish National team singing their national anthem.

Kenan was the tallest player in the team, he was also starting in the first eleven lineup. After finishing singing they positioned them for team pictures.

In the first one Kenan had the post serious face ever, probably because he thinks I'm in New York and not here at his game.

The second picture turned out more motivated, still his smile dropped instantly as the cameras got away from his face.

The Czech people took their time with their national anthem as well as with taking pictures.

While Kenan positioned himself on the pitch the Czech players waved as fans.

Kenan made a quick prayer and so did Arda and Hakan.

All three of them praying for good luck on the match.

During their prayers the commentators of the match called up the line up from both teams. First Czechia then Turkey.

I looked at the big screen and let a a high pitched yell as I saw Kenan's name on it. The stadium loosing it too as soon as they saw him.

Kenan looked up to the VIP box where I was sitting every few minutes, before and during the match.

It's like he knows I'm here. I know that he possibly can't even see me from down there but my gut feeling tells me he does.

Kenan has this gift to spot me whenever I am, he just feels my presence.

As the referee whistled the first half of the game started. Clearly Turkey had more dominance.

In minute 25 Bariș Alper Yilmaz scored.

Two minutes later Kenan scored.

The stadium went loud fans jumped up and down yelling his name. Kenan held up both his hand and then placed on his heart. Dedicating his goal to the Turkish fans.

Clapping both of my hands together I smile down at the football field.

With that Kenan breaks Cristiano Ronaldo his record. What a great success he achieved for his career.

I pull out my phone making photos of the remarkable moment.

Then seven minutes after Kenan scored Arda scores.

3:0 it stands.

Turkish fans are going wild while Czech fans are watching their team loose.

Coach Montella jumps up exited and kisses each of the three guys on their heads, hugging each of them.

Fifteen more minutes pass and then the first half ends. 3:0 for Turkey.

"Miss Yildiz, it's time to head to the field" the security guard spoke as he pulled me out of my thoughts.

I sept half break arguing with Karlotta and how she should just leave me and Kenan alone because she and he are in the PAST.

But what if they aren't, and he just lies to me ?

I gather myself following the security guard.

4:0 for Turkey, Hakan scored a goal in the second half which is about to end in exactly five minutes.

As we passed trough different VIP boxes and different hallways I finally was on the pitch.

Behind the barrier but close enough.

And like always it didn't even took Kenan more than thirty seconds to spot me.

He was on the other end of the field and immediately came up running towards me.

The referee had whistled a minute ago so the match was over.

As the cameras focussed on Kenan running towards you fans and commentators applauded at the two of you.

Kenan was not wearing his jersey anymore he pulled it off himself as a form of celebration, so did the rest of the Turkish national team.

Jumping over the barrier he pulled you into his arms giving you thousands of kisses on your forehead.

"Kenan" I chuckled between laughs.

"Did you watch the whole match ?" He asks out of breath.

"Yes Baby, and I'm beyond proud of you" with that Kenan pulls you into a kiss.

I didn't care if he tastes like sweat or even smells like it I just wanted to feels his lips against mine.

The fans going crazy loud even congratulating Kenan on pulling such a beautiful girl like you.

Kenan he let go of you.

"I love you, that's the best surprise you could ever do for me" not even letting me time to respond he crashed his lips on mine again, depending the kiss.

One of his hands had a firm grip on my jaw while his other hand travelled down to my lower back.

Totally worth rescheduling my photoshoot.

Fans were busy taking photos of the two of you and so were you and Kenan.

He's the biggest golden retriever boyfriend ever so he absolutely adores posing for pictures with you.

As he gave you a kiss on your forehead you closed your eyes enjoying the moment.

What a luck that your camera went off in that exact minute. The most wholesome picture ever of the two of you just got made by your phone.

A jealous Karlotta standing in the crowd, eyeing the two of you.

#football #kenan yildiz #love #imagine #boyfriend #football imagine #turkish #em 2024

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sugarcoated-lame · 1 year ago

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Wake Up Call

Joel Miller x Female Reader

pre-outbreak Joel x reader

All of my works are 18+ minors dni!

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Joel knows you’re not a morning person, so he often loves to help you wake up in way that you’ll both enjoy.

slow, sleepy morning smut with Joel :)

WC: 3200

Warnings: i’m terrible at titles and summaries i know, this is basically just smut (18+), established relationship, fluff, cuddly joel, smut, somnophilia (kinda?), oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected piv, creampie, biting ? (joel bites reader’s shoulder once), a hint of overstimulation, use of a few pet names (sweetheart, darlin’, baby), no use of y/n or description of reader’s physical appearance, moodboard is not indicative of reader’s appearance, joel’s morning voice and joel saying “good girl” in said morning voice deserve a warning. let me know if there’s any I missed! x

a/n: this was my first time writing an actual fic for Joel, so please be nice <3 this was based on some thots that I wrote for an ask that my beloved @sebsxphia sent me 🧡 this was so self-indulgent and I had such a fun time writing it and making the moodboard, I hope y’all enjoy reading!! happy reading, comments and feedback are greatly appreciated 🧡

Joel Masterlist | Main Masterlist

•

It’s a Monday morning like any other. The sun is still rising in the sky, languidly illuminating the world in its hazy golden glow, and you find yourself waking up the same way you do most mornings as of late.

Eyes slowly blinking open to the steadily brightening light that’s begun to make its way through the too-sheer curtains that cover Joel’s bedroom window, a broad chest pressed to your back, and soft breaths blown into the crook of your neck and moving a few strands of your hair along with them.

A strong arm is wrapped around your middle; one big palm splayed across the skin of your belly beneath your—his— t-shirt while the other rests underneath your pillow.

You’re growing used to waking up to Joel’s warmth radiating through you with all the nights you spend in his bed these days, his legs entangled with yours beneath the blankets that had been kicked further down the bed in the night, the extra warmth not needed when you’re completely encapsulated by the furnace that is Joel.

It’s still early as the two of you begin to stir, a while yet before either one of your alarms are set to go off and pull you from the comfort of each other’s embrace and Joel’s plush bed, and into readying yourselves for the upcoming workday.

The arm around your waist tightens as you slowly begin to wake. Joel burrows further into the crook of your neck, scruffy beard tickling at the skin of your shoulder where his shirt has fallen loose in your sleep, the action one that’s grown to be of great comfort for you.

Joel’s always been an early riser. All the nights spent together over the months that you’ve been together now, he’s always woken up before you.

He has an alarm clock, but you never understand why he bothers to set it in the first place. His internal clock is always waking him up naturally as the sun comes up, and approximately thirty minutes before Sarah wakes up for school.

Not that you’re complaining, though, because you’ve come to appreciate the slow and natural way you wake up with Joel.

His flurry of kisses to any patch of bare skin he can find, and the warmth of his broad chest pressed against your back always wake you up gently. It’s a routine you’ve come to love, miles better than any loud alarm.

Though Joel can never seem to sleep later than the sun, he loves it because it means he gets to spend a few extra moments just admiring your peacefully sleeping form.

He knows you’re not a morning person, that you love your sleep and hate nothing more than to be woken up by the shrill ringing on an alarm.

So, another benefit of Joel waking up before you is that he gets to wake you up slowly, gently, snuggling into you and littering your skin with kisses that he knows will bring about that sleepy smile that he loves so much as you begin to stir.

Joel’s morning voice is gruff and somehow even deeper than it already is normally as he turns to nuzzle his nose into your neck, pressing a feather soft kiss to the skin just below your ear.

“Mornin’ sweetheart. How’d you sleep?”

In your still half-asleep state, you just barely grace him with a sleepy hum of acknowledgement before pressing your body back against his, cuddling further into his warmth and beginning to drift off again, not quite ready to wake up yet.

Since Joel knows that getting up early is not even close to your favorite thing to do, he often loves to wake you in a way that he knows you’ll both enjoy.

So, it’s no surprise to you when you begin to be pulled further from your slumber by the feeling of his arms retreating from around you, the loss of the comforting heat of his body against yours causing the tiniest of whimpers to escape your lips.

Joel smirks—though he knows you can’t see it through your still-closed eyes—those strong arms turning you onto your back before his body is sliding further down the bed.

Before you know it, gentle kisses are being pressed to your knees, leading a trail up to your inner thighs, the wiry hairs of his beard scratching lightly against your skin as he makes his way up towards where your panty-covered core has already begun to flutter in anticipation.

Calloused palms reach under your thighs and they’re no sooner being parted by the width of Joel’s broad shoulders, his plush lips pecking along the skin where your thigh meets your hip. Languidly making their way up to your hip bones, dotting a sweet kiss to both before descending.

Nosing along the cotton of your underwear, Joel sends a shudder through your entire body when he brushes over the damp spot that’s begun to darken the fabric.

Taking in your heady scent with a groan, his lips press a single kiss there before the warmth of his tongue laves against your seam through the thin fabric and pulls another sleepy whine from your parted lips.

Joel’s rough fingers dip under the waistband as he reaches up to pull them down your thighs, letting out a low groan as he slowly reveals your core, all pretty and glistening just for him.

You’re still not fully awake when he licks into you. His tongue white hot as it licks a broad stripe up to your clit, mixed with the pleasant burn of his facial hair scraping against the soft skin of your inner thighs, has your hips bucking against his mouth and quiet whimpers leaving your lips even in your still-sleepy state. Joel can’t help but growl at the taste of you.

His strong arms wrap around your thighs to hold you in place, to keep you open wide for him as he fucks you with his tongue, and it’s only when he sucks your sensitive bundle of nerves between those plush lips that you fully awaken on a broken cry.

With your eyes squeezed shut now from pleasure, one of your hands reaches down blindly into his soft, sleep-mussed curls as his tongue swirls around your clit in firm, tight circles.

You’re already getting close to reaching your high when your eyes finally open and you peer down to see Joel.

The bottom half of his face is slightly obscured under the covers as he makes his way back down to your entrance—the tip of his nose brushing against your clit and rendering you dizzy while his tongue laps up the gush of arousal there, and those deep, chocolate eyes boring into your sleep-hazy ones as one hand leaves your thigh so that one of his thick fingers can join his tongue.

Joel turns to press a kiss to your inner thigh, and you can feel his slight smirk against your skin along with the tickle of his beard as he murmurs a quiet “Mornin’, baby.”

The deep, raspy drawl of his morning voice has you clenching down around his finger as it pushes into you, pulling a breathy whine from you as your own fingers tighten their hold in his hair, and you’re barely able to get out a shaky good morning back to him.

In the tranquil, early morning quiet of Joel’s bedroom, you both can hear just how wet you are for him. The deep groan he lets out mixes with your breathless cries as you both listen to the squelch of his digit sliding in and out of you.

“Ya hear that?” Joel’s lips press again to your inner thigh. “So wet for me, darlin’. Were you dreaming of me?”

It’s all you can do in your hazy state to let out a hum of agreement and nod, not trusting your voice as his words and his thick finger pull you closer to that edge.

Joel’s cheek still rests along the smooth skin of your thigh as he turns his gaze upward to watch your face while his finger continues its ministrations. He nearly growls at the sight—your head thrown back and hair spread messily across his pillows. Brows furrowed and eyes clenched shut in pleasure, your perfect lips parted and letting out the prettiest sounds as he works you over.

“Joel— fuck.” You can’t help the desperate moan that escapes your parted lips as Joel adds in a second finger and crooks them just right. Turning your face into the pillows to quiet the sound—his daughter is still sleeping right down the hall, after all—your hips buck toward him of their own volition and push his fingers even deeper as they prod against that spongy spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

“Doing so good for me, baby.’ Joel praises with one last peck to your thigh, before he turns his head to press a lingering kiss to your swollen clit that sends a jolt up your spine.

Then, he’s trailing back down toward your entrance, drawing another gasp from you as the tip of his nose just barely grazes your clit. You can’t help but whine at the loss of his fingers as Joel pulls them from your core, your walls clenching around nothing for only a moment before the warmth of his tongue takes their place.

Joel laps up some of your wetness with a groan that sends shockwaves through your core before his tongue presses back into you. The warm, wet muscle glides through your walls, in and out, and you find yourself whimpering in frustration at the feeling—oh so good, but not quite full enough.

It’s enough to have your hands relinquishing their hold on his locks and scrambling to pull him up the bed by his shoulders and begging him to fuck you.

“Joel, please. Need you now, baby!” Your voice sounds breathless and borderline frantic, and Joel can’t help but feel a little pride in just how worked up you get for him.

“Need—”

He cuts off your desperate pleas with a bruising kiss, pulling a needy sound from deep in your throat at the taste of yourself on his lips as they meet yours.

Joel parts from you to glance at the clock on his nightstand. He knows you’ve probably got about twenty minutes now before you each have to get ready for your respective days—before Sarah wakes up for school, and she’ll be knocking on his door to make sure that he’s up and ready to take her there before he heads to work.

Plenty of time to give you what you need.

Joel takes a moment to admire your features—pretty eyes still bleary from sleep, bottom lip swollen from his kiss and from being bitten between your teeth as you tried to keep your moans quiet. Chest heaving slightly in anticipation, nipples pebbled underneath the loose fabric of his t-shirt as you wait for him to make the next move.

He leans in to give you one more lingering kiss, his tongue parting your lips and meeting yours in a languid swirl that leaves you feeling dizzy when he pulls away.

Joel shifts back onto his knees, and you have half a mind to protest him being so far from you before his hands are meeting your hips.

“Turn over, baby.” He instructs you softly, those strong hands moving you with a surprising gentleness as he guides you to lay on your stomach.

You lie with your cheek pressed to the pillow, fingers digging into the sheets underneath it, your body tingling with anticipation as you wait for him to touch you.

Joel hastily removes his boxers, biting back a deep groan as he gives his already-throbbing length that’s been neglected until now a few firm strokes, spreading the precum that’s pearling at the tip as he watches your thighs clench with need.

You feel the calloused palms of his hands begin to trail the back of your thighs, and up slowly over your ass, fingers pushing up the hem of his much too-big t-shirt that you wore to bed along with them and making you shiver as they expose the smooth planes of your back.

Joel’s hands slide back down to part your thighs and make room for him, lifting your hips just slightly, and then he’s positioning himself over you.

With his broad chest pressed to your back once again and your spread thighs bracketing his, he reaches down to run his cock through your folds, gathering up your slick and pulling sharp gasps from you both as his tip bumps against your clit, before he notches himself against your entrance.

His body is a comforting weight against your back, the both of you letting out simultaneous sounds of pleasure and relief as Joel pushes into you slowly. His face rests in the crook of your neck and he groans at the way your tight, wet walls envelope him just right, the muscles already clenching around him as he waits to move.

Hips pressed to your ass while he gives you a moment to adjust to his length, Joel revels in the way you whine at the fullness of him. It’s always a stretch to accommodate his size, but you always take him so well.

“Mm—move, Joel. Please, baby.”

Your words and your hips attempting to buck back against him under his weight are enough for Joel to start moving, arms bracing beside you as he pulls his own hips back, slamming back into you in one quick thrust.

“Fuck!” You bury your face in the pillows to muffle your moans as Joel begins a steady pace.

All of your senses are completely surrounded by him—his scent on the silky fabric of his pillowcase, the hairs of his beard scratching at the column of your neck as he quietly grunts and moans into your ear, the weight of his strong body pressing you into the sheets as his cock fills you up and quickly pulls you back toward the edge of that cliff, more than ready to fall off.

Joel’s lips begin a trail of kisses all along your neck and up to your ear so he can whisper directly into it, that deep drawl of his eliciting a downright sinful mewl from your lips.

“So good for me, sweetheart. Always feel so good.”

His praise has your walls clamping down around him tighter as Joel fucks you slow and deep into the mattress. Both his words and his hips stuttering as he drives into you, bringing you both closer and closer to your highs every time his length prods against that spot inside you that makes you feel like you’re going to come undone.

“So, fuck—fuckin’ tight.” Joel groans as he buries his nose in your hair.

One of his large hands reaches out to cover one of your own that’s still tightly gripping the sheets, the other snaking its way beneath your body to find your clit and you shudder underneath him as the speed of his thrusts begins to quicken.

Face still buried in the pillows, your desperate cries of Joel’s name are muffled as he works you closer to the edge. The feeling of his cock dragging through your slick walls and filling you oh so deep, and the rough pads of his fingers circling your clit, leave your mind feeling hazy—and not because you’re still sleepy.

Joel can tell that you’re close from the way that your moans have shifted into breathless, broken cries, your cunt clamping down around his cock in a vice-like grip that’s driving him to the brink right along with you.

“Such a good girl for me,” He pauses to press a gentle kiss just behind your ear before he continues. “Need ya to come, baby.”

Joel’s words of encouragement, along with his deft fingers speeding up in their assault on your clit, have you falling over the edge with a sob of his name.

“Good girl.” He mutters close to your ear as his hips continue to piston against your backside, fingers still rubbing your clit and leaving you a writhing mess underneath him.

Your loud cries are softened as you bite down on the pillow below you when the pleasure borders on overstimulation. You feel so full as Joel continues to fuck you nice and deep, working you through your orgasm as he begins chasing his own.

With your release soaking his cock, and the velvety walls of your cunt practically strangling his length, his hips begin to falter in their rhythm and it’s only a few more thrusts before Joel reaches his peak.

Pressing impossibly deeper into you, he leans in to bite down on your shoulder through the fabric of your t-shirt to muffle his moans as he coats your spasming walls with his cum.

Joel’s deep, throaty moans mix with your softer sighs as his hips gradually come to a stop, still buried deep inside you as his fingers leave your oversensitive bundle of nerves, hand now retreating from beneath you as he lets his weight slump against you for just a moment.

With a few more kisses to the side of your head, Joel makes his way back down to your neck, and then to your shoulder where his lips press tenderly to where he knows is probably now a bite mark under your shirt, before he slowly pulls out of you.

The weight of him leaves you as he moves back onto his knees on the mattress, taking a moment to admire the mess of you both between your legs.

Joel then reaches for the box of tissues on his nightstand, grabbing a few to clean up the mix of your releases that’s begun to leak out of your core, tossing them into the trash can beside his bed and moving to turn you onto your back.

Body pliant and sated, and practically melting into the mattress, Joel can’t help but chuckle at you as leans down to meet your lips in a kiss so sweet it has you sighing against him.

It’s only a few moments after you’ve finished, after he lays back down on the bed and pulls you onto his bare chest, that the alarm goes off with the shrill signal that it’s time to start the day.

With a groan, you look up from your spot lying against Joel’s chest to see him already gazing down at you, a small smirk lifting the corner of his lips as he reaches a hand up to run through your hair.

“Guess it’s time to wake up, sweetheart.”

With a dramatic roll of your eyes, your head flops back down onto his pec with another huff of disagreement and the two of you share a breathless laugh before Joel moves to shut off the alarm.

And, though you won’t admit it, you definitely wouldn’t mind an early wake-up call if you got to wake up like this every morning.

•

Aaaaah thank you for reading!! Don’t hesitate to leave a comment or reblog if you enjoyed! x

tagging everyone who reblogged the original post that this was based on 🧡 : @seitmai @givemeth @lumoverheaven @fangirlbang @onceupona-happilyeverafterlove @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @twoheartscanyon @sunblchdfly @caffeinated-idiot @fandomimagines2023

and a few others moots who i think may be interested 🫶🏼 : @softiedingo @joelsgreys @gasolinerainbowreads @thepascalofus @ilovepedro

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bisexualiteaa · 5 months ago

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My Heart Belongs to Daddy ❤️‍🔥💕

Sugar Daddy John Price x Sugar Baby Fem Reader (Angst and fluff!!)

CW: established relationship, sugar daddy/sugar baby to lovers, slight deviance from game, mentions of abusive ex, mentions of violence, stalking, self defense, mention of restraining order, mention of trauma/PTSD, mentions of anxiety, implied smut, reader is now safe and spoiled, John is a gentleman, angst with fluffy ending, cursing, possible grammar and spelling errors.

AN: just a random thought that came to me one night and thought it was just too fitting not to write about! Hope y’all enjoy! ♥️

You considered yourself to have it pretty good all things considered. You lived in a house you rarely ever had to pay rent for, with a handsome, older man who happily paid your bills to the point you didn’t even need to work anymore. He asked that you didn’t in fact. Not because he didn’t want you to have one, but because he wanted to spend all of his rare, but hard earned, free time with you when he was home. It wasn’t often that he was home, between missions in other countries, and long hours, he just wanted more time to spend with you. He gave you all the money you could ever need and then some, and took pride in treating you like a princess because in his eyes, you were one. You were his perfect princess, his beautiful girl. You wanted that cute dress from the store up the street? It’d be yours the next day at the latest. You wanted a pretty pair of shoes to go with it? You would find them in a box, with a cute little bow tied on top, on your bed within the week. You wanted to go on a nice date somewhere? He’d make a reservation that night for the both of you and tell you to get all dolled up. Granted, you never actually asked him for much. All of his gifts were usually bought because he watched you inspect them then place them back after looking at the price tag, or simply because he thought that whatever it was would just look so lovely on his precious girl. He would cave into getting you, or doing anything for you, the moment he would hear you speak of it passionately. At the end of the day, John was a simple man, he merely craved to see your pretty eyes light up with joy and that sweet little smile stretch across your lips upon receiving his gifts. All he wanted in return was your company and love, seeing you sport the outfits he bought you was just a bonus.

You had only taken him up on his offer of being his sugar baby in the beginning because you knew him well enough for it to not be weird or uncomfortable. He was a frequent customer of yours at your old job, someone you spent a lot of time talking to, getting to know, and becoming close to. You knew a lot about him, just as he knew a lot about you. You knew about how he was in the military, how he could be gone for long periods of time on missions in other countries, that he was rather lonely despite constantly being around the people he worked with. John is a very nice man, it almost took you by surprise just how nice he was compared to the men you’d been with in the past. He was always polite, always kind and considerate despite the hell he’s seen out on missions. Every conversation you had with him was like speaking to a life long friend, it all came so natural and in the years he’d come to know you at your job, you two had grown to be very good friends. Good friends turned into hanging out outside of just seeing him at your work, which turned into getting each other’s phone numbers to stay in contact while he was away, which turned into late nights at the bar together on occasion and as time went on, it slowly grew into something more romantic. John liked you a lot, which was good for you because you so happened to have the biggest crush on him and you desperately needed out of the house you shared with an abusive ex at the time. It seemed to be something that worked out well for the both of you, and it brought you comfort in knowing that he wasn’t icky like some other men who look for sugar babies were. When John recommended it to you, you knew sex wasn’t the motive. You saw in his eyes the rage that burned like a forest fire when you’d told him about your awful ex and some of the terrible things he’d done, but also the sea of genuine concern and sympathy. So you took him up on it. All he ever asked for in return was someone to occupy and upkeep the house while he was away, and to keep him company when he was home. Of course, you’d come to grow into being more than just his sugar baby over time, but his girlfriend now fiancé, and you both could agree that it’s been a wonderful four years since that day.

The first time this man showed you actual genuine kindness while living with him, you nearly cried. You were so used to living with someone who didn’t give a shit about you or your well-being, that when John asked you things as simple as what things you would like from the store if he was out grocery shopping, or if he was out getting something to eat from somewhere, how he would offer to bring you back something or stop somewhere you liked to get you food, it left you completely floored. He was super protective of you as well, hardly letting you out of his sight when you were out together in new places you’d never been before or in overly crowded places. John always had a protective arm looped around your waist, both as a way to show you off to the world because how could he not? But also to keep you close to him should anything unsavory come about while you’re out together. He of course walks on the outside part of the sidewalk too. He treasures you, adores you, and he always wanted to make sure you were safe and happy. He didn’t care what lengths he had to go through to do so, or what hate he would get in the process for being older than you, or for spoiling you, he would do it all in the blink of an eye with absolutely no questions asked. It was the complete opposite of what you were used to while having lived with your ex, and he started to pick up on that within the first year of living with you. He hated the way you would flinch away anytime he would bring down something from the cabinet in front of you, or how you would flinch when he would touch you at first. It pained him to see just how terribly you were being treated to the point that it was a reflex. He knew you were in a really bad spot with the guy, but he had no idea it was this bad. He would never pry however, knowing that the past can be a very traumatic place, and all he wanted for you was to be happy and healthy and know that you were safe with him now. He would be there for you in your moments of need, kiss it better, be a shoulder to cry on, assure you that you were protected and never have to worry about that asshole ever again. Whatever you needed, he would have it there for you. Taking him up on this whole arrangement had been the best thing to ever happen to the both of you.

He was always awake before you, even on the weekends and his time off, he was up between six and seven am almost on the dot, on his way to make himself a cup of tea to start the morning off. You felt it as he stirred from his sleep, between the dips in the mattress as he leaned over to kiss your cheek before rolling out of bed, to the shift of the covers being placed solely over your naked form to keep you warm whilst he was no longer beside you. It was what eventually had pulled you from your sleep, not that you really minded too much. You were never a morning person, but you strongly disliked the way the bed got cold without him there with you, and you’d much rather enjoy spending time in his company than sleep all day anyway. You gave a yawn as you finally peeled your eyes open, hearing him chuckle. You hated being up early, but he made early mornings far more tolerable over the years. “G’mornin’ sunshine” he spoke, his already deep and gravelly voice having an even deeper rasp to it when he first woke up. You gave a hum, always loving the sound of his sleepy voice, paired with the way he was in nothing but boxers was even better. “Good morning indeed” you answered through soft giggles as you sat up and drank in his form before he slipped on his robe. He chuckled at your disappointed whine in response to him covering up. “Clearly I didn’t do you in as much as I thought I did last night if I’m gettin’ a response like that” he joked, snagging your robe from the back of the bathroom door and helping you slip it on as you climbed out of bed with him. He kissed your cheek sweetly as he did, making you blush and smile up at him before offering him an actual kiss. “Oh no, my legs are absolutely wrecked, but it certainly is never a hard sight when I’m looking at you, love. Can’t help it but want more” you replied, your tone dripping with lust as you giggled into the kiss that was already starting to get a little heated. He could feel your hands roaming beneath the fabric of his robe, cascading along every inch of his skin you could reach. The way your soft but smaller fingers danced along his chest and stomach lit his every nerve ending on fire, making it harder and harder to not obey the throb setting in between his legs. “Careful sweetheart, y’ know how I get in the mornin’s” he said into your kiss, making you giggle then let out a sound almost akin to a purr. “Oh I’m well aware, daddy” you replied suggestively, tacking on the title at the end, something you only ever used in the bedroom or when you were in a mischievous mood, making him chuckle again as he continued to kiss you. “You say that again and I’m not responsible f’ what happens next, luvie” he replied in warning, his hands soon resting on your hips, keeping you close to him as you grinned up at him, eyes full of mischief. “Do your worst. Daddy” you challenged in a teasing sing-song tone, making him grin as he picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder effortlessly, knowing it would catch you off guard but he also loved the way it would make you laugh so giddily. You squealed and giggled in surprise, kicking your feet and playfully demanding him to put you down as he tapped your ass with his hand. “I tried warnin’ ya, love” he replied, bringing you back to the bed and plopping you down onto it as if you weighed absolutely nothing. You laughed softly, yet excitedly, as you looked up at him, watching him confidently strip himself of his robe with a smirk and a pleased whistle from you. “Oh hush and c’mere you” he said with an amused grin, leaning down over top of you and kissing you once more.

Needless to say, it was definitely a great start to the morning for both of you.

As you both ate breakfast at the dining room table a little while later, you heard a buzz come from his phone. “Shit” he said softly to himself as he read the notification. “What’s wrong? Everything okay?” You asked, your face filled with concern, hoping it wasn’t work telling him he needed to come in on a weekend and steal him away from you when you two made plans for the day. “Nothin’ bad sweetheart, just got an appointment today with the doc I forgot about. Gonna have to rain check on coffee today love, I’m sorry” he said, guilt lacing his tone as he got up, laying a kiss to the top of your head in apology before placing his dishes in the sink and cleaning them. “It’s alright! I needed to run to the store anyway” you said as you got up as well. “I don’t know how long I’ll be, luvie. Would hate to see you sit in the car for hours all bored waitin’” he replied as you pushed your chair in. “Oh, well…I can always go on my own you know. I still know how to drive” you joked harmlessly with a giggle, and something wrenched deeply in his chest at the idea of that. Of you being out and about without him by your side for once, without him to protect you, and who’s to say he would even be able to get to you if you were in trouble. It was unpredictable, dangerous even. He didn’t like it, but he hated the idea of him limiting your freedom even more. “Are you sure…? You haven’t been out and about by yourself since y’ moved in” he replied as he washed the dishes. “I can handle it, honey! I promise. I’ll be in and out super quick! Just the grocery store, then coffee, then home waiting for you!” You said cutely, coming over to him to place your dishes in the sink as well before running your hand along his arm, trying to offer him some comfort. “I’ll be fine baby, really. I always carry my self defense stuff on me and I’ve got you on speed dial. it’s just a small grocery trip! Pleeeaasseee?” You asked, batting your eyelashes up at him all cutely and he certainly could never say no to you like that. “Alright, alright. But if you so much as feel even slightly off, you call me. Don’t care where I am, or what I’m doin’, you remember the code word, yeah?” He asked, making you shake your head yes. “I’ll be sure to use it if I need it, I promise. I’ll be okay, I’m a big girl” you said, offering him a sweet smile before you hugged him in thanks. “But I always appreciate the way you look out for me and want to keep me happy and safe” you added, placing your hand on his cheek as he held you close to him. “I couldn’t live with myself if you ever got hurt, you’re too precious to me” he replied, his larger hand coming to rest over the back of yours, making you giggle softly. “It’s one of the many things I love about you, John. The way you look out for me and care for me. How you’d drop everything in a moment’s notice just to make sure I’m safe. I’m the luckiest girl on this planet to have you” you said before kissing him. “I’m a damn lucky man to have you, love” he replied, resting his forehead against yours as you both closed your eyes to enjoy the sweet, heart felt moment together.

A few hours passed before John had to leave, allowing you both to sort of get ready for the day and tidy up the house a little before both of you would be gone. The idea of you going anywhere alone still put an ache in his stomach that just would not go away, but he pushed it aside the best he could in favor of staying positive. He didn’t want to limit your freedoms, didn’t want to tell you that you couldn’t go without him, that would make him no better than your shitbag of an ex in his eyes and he swore to you that he would never be anywhere close to that. So when the time came for him to leave, John gave you a sweet, soft kiss before heading out the door, reminding you to be careful and to contact him should you need anything. You told him the same, watching as he got into his car, then waving as he pulled out of the driveway before running back upstairs to get changed into a cute outfit to go to the store in. It was a rather warm summers day, so you went for something a little more fitting for the weather. You decided on a cute crop top, skirt, a set of tights, a pair of converse, and the cute hoop earrings, necklace and bracelet set that he bought you one year for Valentine’s Day before you did your hair and makeup. You posed cutely in the full body mirror that mounted the wall next to your shared bed for a few minutes, taking all sorts of cute pictures to send to him. Along with a few more explicit ones to tease. You grabbed your purse, throwing in your phone charger and wallet before grabbing the keys to the other car, and a pair of sunglasses before you finally headed out the door. You made a pit stop at the coffee place first that you and John were supposed to go to together, getting your usual order to get some caffeine in your system to help you fully wake up and start your errands. All in all, still a pretty good day despite the minor change in plans due to an appointment.

It’s when you make it to the grocery store that your day starts to take a turn for the unexpected, and unfortunately for the worst. You parked the car, then went inside, grabbing a shopping cart as you always did and had out your list of the things you needed. They were simple things, essentials for the house such as milk, eggs, bread, things of that nature, but even you weren’t immune to the occasional pull of something on the side to add to the cart. It was as you were walking down the bread aisle that you started to notice a man from the corner of your eye watching you rather intently, eyeing you as you reached for the specific loaf of bread you were looking for, then following you to the next aisle. You didn’t want to look back at him to raise suspicion, but he always seemed to stay right at the edge of your view so you never got a good look at his face. You felt a chill course down your spine as he continued to follow you down the next few aisles. So doing what you knew was best, you tried your best not to stop the cart as you closed out of the tab for your grocery list and pulled up John’s number in your text messages.

Y/N: Hey babe, I know you’re probably busy but there’s this super creepy guy following me in the store…he was staring at me as I grabbed bread now he won’t stop following me. Something doesn’t feel right.

You text him, and you weren’t sure if it was the spot in the store you were in or maybe that your phone was bugging out, but your texts wouldn’t go through for some reason. You tried to chalk it up to nothing more than maybe coincidence that he’d been needing to go down the same aisles as you, trying to calm yourself down as you started taking your things to the check out to pay and leave as quick as possible to hopefully rid of him. As you made your way to the check out line, you heard the wheels of his cart squeaking behind you, trailing at the same speed you were as he hovered not far behind. That was your sign that something was definitely not right. So when your “SOS” text wouldn’t send through either, you dialed John’s phone number but it immediately went to voicemail. Of course you’d have a problem reaching him when you needed it most. Just your luck. So after you’d checked out, you did your best to explain to one of the clerks that there was someone that had been following you around the whole time, and that you didn’t feel safe, wondering if maybe someone could walk with you to your car. Thankfully, they agreed, walking with you and chatting with you as you unloaded the things from your cart and into your car. It helped calm your nerves some when you noticed the man was no longer following you at that point, hoping that asking for someone to accompany you had scared him off.

Oh how wrong you were.

As you thanked them before getting into the car, you started to drive out of the store parking lot and back towards home. It was enough of a scare for you for today and you just wanted to get home where you could get comfy and wait for John to get back. You tried calling him again in the hopes that he’d be able to sort of keep you company through the drive home, but once again, it went straight to voicemail. Your nerves started to get the better of you again when you noticed that the same car had been behind you for what felt like way too long to be just pure coincidence. Your heart raced, hoping that you were overthinking it and just still a little shaken up from the incident at the store. You tried playing some music to help calm yourself down but none of it worked. It really didn’t feel right when you saw the car trailing you the entire rest of the way back home, through every traffic light, every turn, every stop sign. This was more than just a coincidence. You tried pulling up John’s number again to call him, but once again it was no good, making your heart pound in your chest even harder now. Clearly wherever he was had absolutely shit service seeing as neither your calls nor texts would go through. It became clear that you would have to do your best to handle this on your own.

John was starting to get worried when he hadn’t heard anything from you in a while. He had received your pictures from before you left the house, but he hadn’t heard anything from you after that. No pictures, no “I made it safe” nothing at all for a couple of hours and something told him it wasn’t right. However, seeing as he was sitting at no bars for signal he figured it was likely because of his lack of service in the building he was in. The brick government buildings always were notorious for having terrible service, a safety precaution so that nothing terrible could get in, and nothing important could get out. Unfortunately there was still a twisting feeling resting in his gut he just could not shake. But like you had assured him earlier this morning, you’re an adult, you could handle your own and he had to trust that. If you were in any trouble he knew you’d find a way to notify him, but he couldn’t help but worry about you. He was never the type to let his mind wander immediately to the worst things, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something felt wrong. He just hoped this visit would be done and over with quickly so that he could get back home to you and reassure himself that everything was in fact okay.

If only everything WAS actually okay.

As you drove around the neighborhood, you made it a point that you hadn’t stopped directly at your house just to be completely and utterly sure if the mysterious person was actually following you. You watched as he still trailed not far behind you as you looped around at the end of the neighborhood culdesac, making it apparent now that he was in fact following you, and following you rather closely. Your heart slammed in your chest, you had no idea what to do in this instance. You couldn’t get ahold of John, no one was outside in their yards, you were all alone in this. You had no other choice but to call the police, reporting it to them and hoping that they would be here in time should the situation take a turn for the worst. On John’s end, he swore it felt as if his appointment with the doctor couldn’t have gone any slower. He found himself constantly checking his phone for anything from you, or any updates on your location but the brick house of a building he was in made it nearly impossible to send, receive, or even load anything. It was as he sat in his car once he was finished at the doctors office, that his texts finally sent through of him asking if you were alright and had made it to the store or home safe. He breathed a sigh of relief when he hadn’t gotten anything super alarming in response, placing his phone up on the charging mount he used for roadtrips when he needed navigation on his phone. It was as he was looking at the beautiful picture he had of you as his lockscreen to try and calm his nerves that all of your attempts to get ahold of him finally came through. Seeing your first message that you made it to the coffee place safe, then to the store safe, then his heart dropped upon seeing your text about feeling uncomfortable. Once your SOS message pop up, followed by three missed calls, he wasted no time in starting up his car and pressing on the gas to get home to you as fast as he could. He checked your location, seeing you were in the neighborhood but not at the house, that’s when he figured the man you had told him about that was following you around the store must have followed you home.

You were shaking as emergency services told you that they were on their way, but nothing could prepare you for who stepped out of the car that had been following you for all this time. It was your ex. You routed around through your bag, searching for your self defense key ring that had a light, an alarm, sharp knuckles, and a disguised knife attached but for the life of you you couldn’t seem to find it. “Shit, shit, SHIT!” You said to yourself as you felt your breath start to quicken, catching glimpses of your ex stalking closer to your car from the rear view mirror. Thankfully your hands landed on your taser, you supposed it was better than nothing and something that could keep him at bay until the cops or John arrived. God you prayed that John was on his way and on his way quick. It was right after you placed your taser in your pocket to hide it from him that you heard him tap on your window, and you hated the fear that struck you upon seeing his face up close again. He smirked before smashing the window, unlocking the car from the inside and yanking you out. You kicked and screamed as he did, hoping it would draw the attention of the neighbors or anyone passing by, but it seemed to be no use, in reality you were only making him more upset. “Get the fuck OFF of me!” You yelled, but he only laughed at your fruitless efforts to free yourself. It was then that you saw why John wanted to go with you everywhere, why he felt like he needed to protect you. You weren’t as strong as you thought you were.

“So, this is where you’re living now, huh? Still living with the man whose dick you sucked to get away from me?” Spoke the vile voice of your ex, making a scowl cross your face as he spoke poorly of John while yanking you up to face him. “My new life is none of your concern. I see you still don’t seem to understand the terms of the fucking restraining order” you spat, making him laugh as you attempted to push him away. “Oh but it is my concern, because I distinctly remember telling you, I don’t go away that easy. See, just because you think we “broke up” and you filed a dainty little piece of paper to the government, doesn’t mean I need to leave you alone. I can do as I please” he said, grabbing your hair so that it would not only tilt your head to look up at him, but hurt you to try and pull away. The painful sensation brought back cruel memories of the awful things he’d done to you when you were still living with him. He had always been unpredictable, especially when he was angry and that’s what scared you most in this instance. You had no idea what his plans were or what he was going to do. You knew what he was capable of, and the lengths he was willing to go to. He could kill you right here if he wanted to, and you were terrified that may be his intention. “So when I saw you at the store after four years of not knowing where the fuck you’d run off to, I took it as a godsend. Like it was fate, pulling us back together ooonnee last time. One time’s all it takes sweetheart for me to learn everything about this new life you’re living WITHOUT ME!” he yelled, yanking on your hair even more, making your face contort as you hissed in pain. You did your best to try to rid his hand from your scalp but his grip was locked tight. “Nice neighborhood, wonder which house belongs to that pathetic sugar daddy of yours. Maybe I’ll just have to stalk the culdesac to figure out which one it is. I’ll break every single window in this neighborhood until I’ve broken through the right one if I have to” he said with a disgusting grin, making you pull your keys from your pocket and grip them in your hand while he wasn’t looking, granting you the chance to jab him in the arm. He shouted in pain, his reflexes making him let go to where you could stumble onto your feet and away from him. “You wish, you sick fuck. The cops are already on their way, I called them on your sorry ass ten minutes ago when you wouldn’t stop following me” you threatened as you back towards your car, making him laugh at your threat. “Oh I’m so scared! What next? You gonna sick sugar daddy on me too? Too wimpy to defend yourself?” He asked, inching closer to you and you didn’t like that. “No, but he’ll be pissed when he finds out you were here and followed me” you said, making him grin as he tried to lunge at you, and on nothing but adrenaline fueled instinct, you pull out your taser from your pocket and used it on him. He yelled in pain as he dropped to the ground before you, the sound of jolts of electricity coursing through him only ceasing once you released your finger from the button. “You fuckin bitch…” he slurred as he tried to stand back up, getting halfway before sirens sounded in the near distance, accompanied by the signature red and blue flashing lights. John wasn’t far behind them and his chest grew tight when he saw them turning down the neighborhood, praying it wasn’t for you.

You dropped the taser from your hands, hearing an officer trying to console you that everything was okay, and that they were here to help. You watched as they handcuffed your ex, taking him and placing him in one of the cruisers to bring him down to the station. You were shaken up, there wasn’t an ounce of doubt about that, but you couldn’t have been more relieved knowing he was being driven down to the station and far away from you. Tears finally began welling in your eyes as you saw John’s car pull up behind the police cars and him come running out of it to find you. “Y/N?? Y/N!” He called out, searching all through everyone to find you, and when he did he couldn’t have been more relieved to finally see you and see that you were alright. “Oh thank fuck you’re okay. Are you alright? Did he hurt you? I came here as fast as I could after I finally got your messages and calls” He asked, hugging you tightly after looking you over for any other injuries aside from the few minor cuts and bruises of your scuffle. “I’m okay, just some small stuff but I’m more shaken up than anything else. I’m sorry for scaring you” you apologized with a warbled voice from the sob caught in your throat that you were fighting your hardest against, making him cradle your cheek in his hand as he looked down at you, wiping your tears away with his thumb. “Don’t you dare apologize, you were the one in danger luvie. ’m sorry I didn’t get your calls sooner or I’d have been there immediately. ’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you like I always am” he said, feeling guilty for not being there for you when you needed it, especially when his gut had been screaming at him all day the moment he left that something was wrong. “I knew I didn’t feel right about it, I should’ve just asked you to stay home ‘til I got back but you looked so excited, I didn’t want to tell you no…” he added, pressing his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes, relieved to have you back in his arms and to help calm you down and console you the best he could. “It’s okay, I should have known better. I shouldn’t have pressed you when you had the gut feeling something wasn’t right about it. I know after this, that I definitely won’t do it ever again, if I want to go anywhere, I’ll wait for you and go with you” you said, hugging him once more and burying your face in his neck, craving the sense of security he gave you when his arms wrapped tightly around you, and to drown in the comfort from his warmth and his cologne to calm your racing heart. “I’m proud of you for protecting yourself though. You did good, making sure someone walked you to your car, that you notified someone that you didn’t feel safe, that he didn’t wind up at the house” he praised, smoothing his hand through your hair to try and soothe you some and help fix the tangle left in your hair from his grip on it. “I bet you looked damn good with that taser in your hand, love” he said, making you giggle as he helped you calm down exponentially.

“I love you so much sweetheart. I promise you won’t ever have to feel that way, or go through what you did today ever again. Not while I’m here” he said, warming your heart up even more as you looked up at him with that bright smile he loved so much. “I love you too John, thank you for everything you do, it means the world to me” you replied, arms still wrapped around him tightly before getting up on your tip toes and kissing him softly. “Besides, I learned today that store runs without you aren’t nearly as fun. I like them better when you’re with me” you said sweetly, making him smile and chuckle as he brought your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles sweetly. “Me too. C’mon, let’s get you home, yeah? You’ve had one hell of an eventful enough day today, missy” he said playfully yet softly, grabbing your hand and holding it as he walked you to the car, opening your door for you before driving you just up the street. “You don’t have to drive me the few blocks it is back to the house” you said through giggles. “Of course I do, I’m not just gonna make you walk after all that” he replied, placing his hand on your leg as he pulled in the driveway, walking you up to the house and getting you inside. “You wait here, I’ll grab the other car and bring in the groceries” he said, making you go to speak up but he held a finger up to stop you. “No buts, princess. I’ll only be a minute, you’ve had a rough enough day as is” he added, making you huff in defeat. “I’ll be back before you know it, then you get me for the whole rest of the night, how’s that sound?” He asked, and you couldn’t lie, you definitely liked that idea.

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