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spectral-kitkat · 3 years

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Miraculous Rant.

Where the hell do I begin…

Season 1:

The show was decent in season 1. Some episodes were just mindless filler and probably weren’t needed in the grand scheme of things but they helped us get introduced to the characters, we got to know the plot and the world our characters inhabit. It was good. The love story between Adrien and Marinette was cute and off to a touching and fluffy start.

Season 2:

This season was immediately better than season 1. It had character development, it went more into detail about the lore surrounding the Miraculous and we got to learn more about our characters and their families and the villian’s motives. (HM really went from “I wanna destroy the world” to “I wanna wake my wife from the coma she’s in”).

We got to see new heroes which was fun! We got new characters like Luka and Kagami.

The season finale was epic! The Miraculous team all taking down all the previous villains in the show was awesome. At the end we even got Mari kissing Adrien on the cheek. It was great! (Even though it clearly reset itself in season 3 cause it’s never mentioned again)

I really enjoyed season 2 and it’s probably my favourite out of the 4.

Season 3:

Season 3 was kinda good and kinda bad. We had some great episodes but this is where the show took the wrong turn.

Marinette lost some of her character in season 3. This was the start of her descent into being the Queen of Mary Sues. It’s also where she was crowned the Queen of Stalkers! Her character took a fucking nose dive in this season. We had so many moments that just creeped me the fuck out.

1. The ENTIRETY of Puppeteer 2 🤢🤢🤢 I could not stand that episode. When we reached the dreaded statue scene I physically had to pause it like 10 times. That scene takes about 3 minutes to watch… it took me about 20. I cringed so fucking hard because of the secondhand embarrassment I was feeling. That was not sweet, it wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t the least bit cute… it was a train wreck! It was creepy and stalkerish and it’s a wonder Adrien even spoke to her again after that atrocity!

2. LB delivering the present in Chat Blanc. Two words: STALKER BEHAVIOUR!!! I genuinely could not believe my eyes when I saw LB run her hand across everything in his room and then actually SNIFF Adrien’s pillow. Like WTF!!! 🤮 I’m pretty sure whoever was responsible for that scene clearly thought it was the equivalent of when someone gets their S/O’s jumper or something and it still smells like them. But this turned it up to the nth degree and way passed the line of sanity.

Adrien was extremely under-utilised in this season. He didn’t really do anything. The only episodes we got about him didn’t really focus on him. ‘Felix’ whilst focusing on Adrien’s family didn’t really feature him. ‘Party Crasher’ while a beautiful mess was more about Mari trying to get into the party than the party itself. ‘Chat Blanc’ again focused more on Mari trying to fix her mistake.

We got even more heroes in season 3, not in the right order but they were there. It was fun seeing everyone’s transformations.

Season 3 was also the season of destroying redemptions. The big one obviously being Chloe. Season 2 was setting up this amazing redemption for her and before it could go anywhere it was wiped off the face of the earth during the finale (and don’t worry we’ll get to that dumpster fire later). Gabriel also had any remaining sympathy ripped away from him. How did the guy who stopped Gorizilla from letting Adrien die when he only thought he was CN go from that to using his son like fucking baseball in Chat Blanc when he knew his son was CN. Like I knew you were a shit father but you still cared about Adrien in some way shape or form but after that episode I can see I was clearly mistaken!

Before we get to the finale I want to talk about probably my 2 least favourite episodes from this season: Desperada and Reflekdoll

Desperada:

I fucking hated this episode! The only good thing was Luka getting to be Viperion, other than that this episode was awful!

Marinette was a selfish cringey bitch. Completely ignoring Luka to gush about Adrien to Jagged. Brushing Luka off as soon as Adrien turns up. Immediately cuddling up to Aspik and flirting with him when she needed to focus on the akuma (something which she has told CN not to do many times before)

Adrien, I love you kid but Jesus Christ you were a dumbass in this episode! Aspik’s design was terrible! Aspik himself was awful. I know Adrien tried his best but dude you were given the Black Cat miraculous for a reason! He shouldn’t have tried to be Aspik but even when he did he should’ve called it quits after like 5 resets not 25,913 times.

The only person with a brain this episode was Luka. So well done guitar boy, gold star!

Reflekdoll:

This episode was annoying! It was basically the start of the Marinette can do no wrong streak! When they have to swap miraculous I was happy cause it meant we got to see new outfits and see how they each handle the different powers. It would also serve as a way to get LB and CN to see what their partners role is first hand. Until we actually get to it…

LadyNoire is of course amazing and needs no introduction to using this new miraculous that she’s never used before. She’s cocky and confident and basically just LB in Chat’s costume with his powers.

Mister Bug on the other hand is just useless. He struggles with this new miraculous (like anyone would!) and is stupid and goofy. He has to rely on LadyNoire to solve the lucky charm. They swapped miraculous so shouldn’t that mean that Mister Bug should get the lucky vision and the creative powers that the earrings give him.

Overall Reflekdoll is awful. It was shitty writing and the start of Adrien getting the short end of the stick.

And now the season 3 finale… Just what the fuck. That is my only reaction: what the fuck!

Chloe you poor fucking child! What did they do to you!!! So much potential SQUANDERED!!!!

What was the point in bringing in all these different superheros with unique skill sets, costumes and transformations if you were just going to immediately reveal them to the main villian so they can’t be used again. That’s stupid! If you wanted the shock value that is “Oh no HM knows some of the heroes identities!” Then keep it as only some. Have like Max, Kim and Kagami outside trying to find somewhere to hide but unfortunately they get hit. Or Nino and Alya are hiding but the windows open and they get hit. Have some of the heroes hide so they’re fine! Taking away every ally of LB and CN’s was a stupid move! (Even if they wanted Alya to become a spy have her as part of the like 4 that get revealed or something, it’s not that difficult)

Season 3 was 50/50 for me

Season 4:

So I know season 4 isn’t even halfway through yet but so much is wrong with this season already that I need to vent!

So my biggest problem with this season of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybitch and Rena Rouge, I mean Rena Furtive… shit, Chat Noir! Is that CN is basically pointless! Adrien has been flung over a rainbow and is only remembered when he’s needed as

1. Marinette’s love interest

2. Someone for LB to shout at

3. A plot device

He has basically been sidelined. Partners my ASS!!!

Adrien is being blown off by pretty much EVERYONE! It’s coming to a point where this poor sweet summer child is going to crack! And it is not gonna be pretty… I definitely feel like the writers are leading up to a big fight between CN and LB which will probably end with Chat Blanc 2.0.

I REALLY HATE MARINETTE/LADYBUG!!!! In Season 3 I said it was the beginning of her descent, well in season 4 she’s done it. She’s descended, she has hit rock fucking bottom. She is so unlikable I don’t actually care about her as a person. She has entered full blown stalker territory it’s only a matter of time before she starts killing people for even looking at Adrien! Not to mention that Miss Mary Sue here can’t do anything wrong! She never has to suffer the consequences of her actions, she is always perfect no matter what she does… it pisses me off!)

She’s the Guardian now big whoop. I know what it feels like to be stressed and under pressure so I do understand why she needed to tell someone about it all. I just don’t see why that person had to Alya! Especially considering she has someone by her side every akuma attack going through pretty much the exact same thing. I know she’s worried about CB happening again but as I said before the more she leaves him out the more she is actually pushing that to become a possibility! Plus it makes sense for them to reveal their identities now since LB is now the guardian it’s probably a good idea to know who holds the cat miraculous, she knows everyone else’s identities!

Even if she didn’t want to tell CN her identity she could still explain the situation to him. If she didn’t want to tell him anything (which she doesn’t anyway) then instead of Alya she should’ve talked to Luka! Her boyfriend for all of half an episode (thanks writers…). He’s so sweet and caring and clearly loves her so much! If she wanted someone to confide in then why not choose the person you clearly wanted to date but couldn’t because of that very reason! (Yeah I know it’s kinda a moot point now since Luka knows both identities but still). He wanted to try and comfort her so it would’ve been the perfect moment for it. That way you could still date him and he’d know why you had to suddenly leave dates halfway through! But no break the boys heart instead!

Adrien and Marinette were both such fucking idiots in the first 2 episodes. Like why would you start a relationship with someone when you know your heart isn’t in it! That’s called leading someone on and is a really shitty thing to do to someone! No wonder Kagami and Luka ended up akumatized!

Another aspect of season 4 I don’t like is Rena Furtive. Yes ok having a spy for your side is a good strategy but when said spy basically tells an important member of a duo that the 2 person job doesn’t involve them… it just really ticks me off! Alya you are the sidekick to LB and CN! Chat isn’t!

Miraculous specials:

The Miraculous World specials suck! Shanghai is better than NY but still has its problems. Both specials add nothing to the overall plot/lore of the show apart from trying to set up some weird cinematic universe…

NY special:

One of the worst things I’ve ever had to sit through! The plane scene alone I paused a few times. I want to say well done to Mari for trying to move on from Adrien (especially considering I’m pretty sure she’s dating Luka at this point) but I can’t help but think it’s just to give her character some pointless development that goes nowhere and doesn’t actually develop anything!

LB can pretty much fuck off at this point! I hate her! She put all this shit on CN (like she doesn’t know exactly how that feels). It’s like why does she get to go off on holiday but CN can’t. LB should’ve stayed in Paris for 3 reasons:

1. She’s recently become the guardian meaning it would probably be best that she stayed with the Mircle Box

2. She’s the only one who can purity the akumas

3. If she’s so sure about being the boss then she should take responsibility of Paris and the citizens.

What really pisses me off about her is what she says to CN during the big fight. “I can’t trust you”… surely you could have this conversation afterwards since you’re supposed to be focusing on taking down the villian! Plus everyone bashes Adrien for giving his miraculous up in this episode but look at it from his point of view: His partner and best friend just said she couldn’t trust him which in turn caused him to cataclysm someone and essentially kill them. That’s gonna take a toll on anyone, especially a 14 year old! He probably thought in that moment. “Ladybug needs a partner she can trust and someone who won’t mess up and kill someone. She needs a better partner.” It makes sense he renounces his miraculous! I’m just upset that in doing so he loses Plagg who is pretty much his only friend who actually understands what Adrien goes through at home.

When Uncanny gets CN to come back, LB acts like it’s not her fault in the first place that he feels inadequate! She didn’t even apologise for saying what she did! He apologised for lying about not being in Paris but nope LB wasn’t in the wrong at all and didn’t have anything to apologise for 🙄… (yes the LadyNoir hug was amazing but I just wish it was under different circumstances!)

Also are we not gonna mention Gabriel Agreste almost starting WW3??? He wanted to launch a fucking missile!!!

Shanghai:

As I said before, this special is way better for several reasons.

We got MariChat! (Best side to the love square imo). This special actually had some semblance on a plot. Fei, whilst a bit op, was a cool character. It was nice to see Wang Cheng again.

However once again there were many problems.

A big one being Marinette yet again! (What a shock! 😒 I’ll come back to this). Another was that once again HM’s motivation has changed. How is getting the Prodigious gonna help bring back Emilie??

Back to Marinette… The fact that the words “Huh?! There must be some kind of mistake! I always know what's up with Adrien! … His 5 first names and every corresponding name date, his yearly schedule, even his shoe size! If there were anything to know about him, I would know it!” come out of her mouth whilst she is flipping through his schedule that she keeps in her pocketbook is a hugh red flag!!! That is not cute or adorable! That’s messed up and Adrien needs to fucking run and maybe possibly go into witness protection… Marinette is a full blown stalker! Not to mention the GPS she has (that could just be the find my friends app on iphone but still).

It also is extremely rude of her to use not only her great uncle’s birthday but also a lie about wanting to know her Chinese heritage in order to go to Shanghai to stalk her obsession, I mean crush. This could’ve been avoided if the Dupain-Chengs were going to Shanghai for the purpose of celebrating Wang Cheng’s bday and then Adrien just so happened to be in Shanghai.

Also this means LB left Paris without telling CN! I know CN did the same but again he can’t purify the akumas. Plus he has a reason he couldn’t stay in Paris, Mari just went cause her crush did. Great guardianship there Marinette.

This was also the last time CN actually did something. Even if it was for a short while before LB and her female partner took over (the beginning of a theme…)

Other things:

There are 2 other things that I wanna say but felt they needed a separate bit.

In Furious Fu, Su-Han has a rule book that he uses to tell Marinette which rules she has broken. At the end of the episode he tells her that is she breaks 1 more rule that he will take the Miraculous and the Miracle Box off her, which fair enough but wouldn’t it be helpful to leave the rule book with her?! How can she be wary of not breaking anymore rules when she doesn’t even know what the rules are??

Now the big one: Master Fu…

Where do I even start with him. He is so fucking manipulative!! He is Asian Dumbledore!

He decides to leave these extremely powerful jewels in the hands of 13 year olds! Surely leaving the miraculous to someone in their 20s would’ve been better!

He clearly favours LB over CN even though the Ladybug and Black Cat are supposed to be partners! Wouldn’t it make sense for them both to be in contact with the guardian from the start?? He randomly started introducing rules such as if LB and CN find out each other’s identities they would lose their miraculous… what kind of bullshit rule is that? It also came out of fucking nowhere!

Final Thoughts:

But to summarise all of that: Miraculous is on quite a steep decline but I’m invested at this point and I am genuinely curious as to where the fuck this will go.

Marinette needs professional fucking help before the writers even consider canonising Adrienette cause at the moment she is not what Adrien needs!

Adrien needs to stand up for himself! He needs to pull LB to the side and tell her what he feels and what he’s going through cause he is on the precipice of a breakdown!

(Small point that’s more to do with the fandom: when searching for fanfics it’s really annoying that Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir Bashing is a tag but Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug Bashing isn’t. Why does everyone think Marinette can do no wrong???)

#miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #miraculous salt #adrien agreste #marinette dupen chang #marinette salt #master fu salt #ladybug and chat noir #fandom salt #thomas astruc salt #adrien deserves better #miraculous season 4 #miraculous season 3 #miraculous rant

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angelsndragons · 3 years

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fjord’s feelings for caduceus changed in episodes 98-99

by which i mean, fjord finally realized how special and important he is to caduceus, which in turn set the tone of their relationship for the rest of the campaign. buckle up, this is a long one.

not when fjord threw away his sword and went to caduceus instead of jester. or when caduceus presented him with the star razor. or after the citadel fight when caduceus gave him his holy symbol. i think things changed for fjord in episode 98-99, when caduceus saved his life and removed the orb.

this is going to require some context.

because here’s the thing: fjord’s always looking for the price, waiting for the catch or other shoe to drop. people caring for him because of him with no strings attached is unprecedented. vandren and the world taught fjord that love is conditional, that only if you hide what others would find ugly and make yourself useful to them will they deign to give you a scrap of affection. i don’t think vandren did this maliciously, mind you, it was just part of his worldview and fjord’s life up to and beyond that point supported it. we can see that right up to the end of the show, where fjord is terrified that vandren didn’t remember him or that he didn’t mean nearly as much to the man as vandren did to him.

so we have fjord, who learned to don masks and hide his truest self, including his best and worst aspects. while fjord made the nein into a coherent group, into a force, a crew, a family, even, he still waited for that other shoe to drop. waited for the day that they would reject him because he was no longer useful or because he pushed them too far. you can see this waiting all over the early campaign; he’s not looking for an excuse like caleb to cut and run but he anticipates nearly all the moments that almost fractured the nein, in spite of that low wisdom score. while jester carried the guilt of not being able to save molly, fjord carried the guilt of not protecting the group in that crucial moment. travis confirmed on talks that fjord’s biggest fear when he lost his powers the first time was that he would no longer be useful and be kicked out of the group.

that’s why fjord damn near broke down at the end of 72. the nein, no questions asked, with their standard level of snark, accepted that he was going to be a liability and kept him around anyway. armed him anyway. declared that he was no liability and that they would help him along until he could help himself and them again. this unconditional acceptance caught fjord completely off guard. it always does, really. because caduceus had said for months, an out of game half a year, that he was looking to reforge the sword as a gift for fjord. he said this to fjord’s face. he did not change course when he learned that the sword was a legendary blade forged by acolytes of the wildmother and moonweaver. the blade was still meant for fjord, even if fjord was still chained to uk’otoa. fjord extends his love and protection to the nein but is still not convinced the reverse is true. he was starting to believe it but he wasn’t quite there yet.

caduceus has a high enough wisdom to understand that’s fjord’s hang up even if he doesn’t quite understand the reasoning behind it. that’s why he pulls fjord aside in ep 75 and tells him that he doesn’t have to choose the wildmother, that there are other gods and other ideas out there looking for a champion. fjord, who at this point considers wildmom his only option (travis says she’s the only one who’s shown the slightest interest in fjord and that’s why he’s gunning for her), is befuddled by caduceus and this whole talk, so much so the pair end up talking past each other for the next several episodes.

after fjord officially becomes a paladin, things between him and caduceus become fairly...unsettled compared to their previous interactions. they talk past each other more, they aren’t in sync enough to double team those social interactions they were just starting to get good at. things are just weird for a while. to me, that’s fjord waiting for the catch, waiting for caduceus to call in some favor or something like it. and he keeps getting confused when caduceus doesn’t. so he tries once or twice to follow in caduceus’ footsteps and do as he would instead. and it just makes things weirder. these two don’t have a moment together that doesn’t leave one of them confused or unsatisfied until ep 87, when caduceus gives fjord the holy symbol and inadvertently kicks off the next phase of their relationship. because here, caduceus tries to put them back on equal footing and fjord recognizes it. caduceus rejects framing their relationship as mentor/student and tells fjord he doesn’t need caduceus to give him answers. fjord is “well on his way.”

by defining what they aren’t, mentor/student, our two boys inadvertently ask the question, “so what are we?” honestly, it’s a question that the entire group grapples with in the 90s as they reintegrate yasha, as veth struggles with the question of changing back and whether she can stay with the nein, as beau tries to sacrifice herself for veth, as jester learns some uncomfortable truths about the traveler, as caduceus finds his family again. fjord and caduceus can easily define what they aren’t - not mentor/student, not brothers or cousins- but what they actually are stumps both of them.

their relationship doesn't look like any of their relationships with the others: beau is fjord's bro and first mate, caleb is fjord's complicated mirror and admiree, jester his crush and first person he learned to be vulnerable with, veth his antagonistic sibling. on caduceus' side, caleb is the one he looks to for a fellow project nerd and clear, unvarnished goals, beau and jester are the sisters caduceus misses, yasha the quiet beloved barbarian he understands better than the rest, and veth a mess he wants to help but can't. but fjord and caduceus' relationship is highly undefined at this point. notably undefined, beyond their newly shared connection to melora. at the dinner with essek, we get the stone bomb. and travis and fjord panic. like no, seriously, they spend the next four episodes low key panicking over this revelation. this ties back to fjord waiting for those other shoes to drop but it’s also more than that.

when it comes to destiny, fjord has always been the answer, the self made man, to both caduceus and caleb’s questions about destiny. he makes choices about who he is, who he wants to be, and takes actions towards those goals. he is one of those rare people who can wear many different masks, take on many different roles, while still maintaining his sense of self and becoming a fuller version of who he is. when I say fjord is the answer to destiny, what i mean is that he is what ioun said way back in c1 about Fate: mortals make choices and through those choices, destiny is fulfilled. he is the answer to caduceus' own growth from passive instrument waiting for someone to play him to active communicator in this conversation between gods and mortals. in this sense, fjord is what caduceus learns to be (this is exactly why caduceus rejects a mentor role; he has as much to learn from fjord as vice versa).

so for this coincidence to pop up, this idea that maybe fjord only had the illusion of choice to extend his service to the wildmother, that maybe somehow he was manipulated again, that there was some grand destiny pushing things and fjord had no say in it, yeah, i can see why fjord was low-key terrified. so is this what fjord and caduceus are: just some predestined grand fairy tale partnership neither of them have that much say in? episode 96 resoundingly rejects that label too. for one thing, none of the stones or clays treat fjord's last name as anything amazing or spectacular. for another, this string of episodes gives us caduceus at his most human. the terror of not knowing what happened to his family, the uncertainty of his homecoming, the relief of saving his family and home, the irritation at the way the chaos crew treats the temple, the playful attitude caduceus cultivates after, it's all on display. caduceus drops much of his placid exterior and willingly allows the nein to see sheer depth of emotion he has.

which leads me back to episode 98-99. uk’otoa’s agents come for fjord. and caduceus is pissed. travis and ashley both said on talks that they hadn’t really seen taliesin that pissed, that it was like someone had threatened an actual loved one of his. fjord dies. and comes back to an exhausted, still pissed off firbolg who is five seconds away from snapping archmage vess derogna’s head off for interrupting his prayer of healing. taliesin doesn’t even begin to relax until they start interrogating the dead fish people the next day. once caduceus confirms the ball is still in fjord, notably caduceus and caleb were the two who remembered, fjord starts asking for a way to remove it. he asks caduceus to start a commune with wildmom in tandem with jester’s commune with the traveler. caleb tells fjord that caduceus fought “very hard for you while you were down, i don’t know if he’s up to it.” having heard that, caduceus still tries, with his first divine intervention attempt of the campaign. and when jester figures out that greater restoration will work, caduceus pushes through his exhaustion, takes charge, and goes through a truly terrifying greater restoration with fjord to remove the ball. convulsing, seizing, shuddering, collapsing, etc.

in those moments, and in the quiet after when fjord confirms that he still has his powers, it finally hits him that yes, people can protect, fight, and love him for who he is alone. there is no chain or other shoe waiting to be dropped here. the wildmother is no uk’otoa, to punish or take power at a whim. caduceus will fight with everything he has and then some for fjord because he loves him (not for nothing does fjord only realizes the depths of jester’s feelings when she uses heal on him). who are caduceus and fjord to each other? they are people who will fight for one another and the others as far as they can. fjord says over and over again that he wants to protect the nein and look out for them because he cares for them. he demonstrates it over and over again as well. caduceus says basically the same thing; he wants everyone safe and happily on their way and will stay until they are. he demonstrates this all the time as well. this is, i think, the first time that he demonstrates his dedication so unequivocally, free of the artifice of duty, fully committed through love. fjord recognizes this in caduceus and caduceus does in fjord.

i say this is a turning point because, while they don’t really have another super in depth conversation alone together, these two start clocking each other and openly help and look out for each other. there’s an ease and intimacy to the relationship after this. fjord watching caduceus swim near vokodo’s lair, fjord being ready to hand over his armor to caduceus when it looks like his won’t be ready, fjord, caduceus, and beau plotting behind jester’s back to keep her safe from the traveler, the absolute offense fjord takes to eadwulf after he spoke to caduceus like that, fjord levels up in paladin after caduceus tells him he’s proud to know him, all the way to the end of the show when fjord shelters the clerics and tells them to finish lucien, we get little moments like these from both of them. hell, caduceus is the first person in the campaign to tell fjord directly that he loves him.

#cr #critical role #cr meta #fjorclay #wildbros #fjord #caduceus clay #prim did theirs so i'm doing mine #in b4 the wrap-up #just barely #and ran out of steam at the end #i'll expand on that later #gotta finish my vm v m9 meta #and the cockroach party analysis

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sanjuno · 3 years

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Sanjuno’s Story and Fandom Masterlist

I’m going to pin this list of titles so that people can more easily figure out what they want to vote for each Friday. Anything labelled with Meta, WIP, or Concept can be voted for.

1. ATTACK ON TITAN

1.1. Coordinates T by H: Eren’s coordinator abilities allow him to metaphysically bond with other humans, thereby giving everyone in the group the ability to psychically communicate with the rest and also boosting everyone’s healing ability exponentially to be on par with the Titan Shifters. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

2. BLEACH

2.1. What Happens on Vacation: Crossover with YYH – turns out that Kurosaki Misaki was a senior ferry girl on sabbatical (which translates as living a mortal life unaware of her true nature) and she was late returning to work due to being trapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigo and Uryuu are very confused when their “cousin” Kazuma shows up to introduce his new bride to the family. Koenma is just really pissed off by all the paperwork he needs to deal with while cleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted

3. CODE GEASS

3.1. A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers are reincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission to drive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to the point that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CC shows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s onto something with the “drinking to forget” idea. Meta

3.2. Abandon Thyself: Post-Zero Requiem Suzaku travels back in time to the scene in the Shinjuku Ghettos when the truck explodes. Given that the people closest to him haven’t actually spoken to Suzaku in years, the origins of Suzaku’s obvious mental instability is hilariously misattributed by various outside PoVs. So when Suzaku hits his knees in front of Lelouch, swearing eternal devotion and vowing to make Lelouch the next emperor nobody panics. (They should really reconsider panicking.) Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted

3.3. The Sun Also Rises: At the moment of his death in the Zero Requiem, Lelouch travels back in time to his childhood body. With only a week to go before Marianne is “assassinated by terrorists” Lelouch sets out to rearrange the board in a way none of the other players will see coming until it’s far too late. Lelouch has been given a second chance to make things right, and Lelouch wouldn’t be Lelouch if he didn’t plan big. This time around, Lelouch plans for his victory to be a bit more obvious. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

4. DCU

4.1. Time Enough: Terry McGinnis, his little brother Matt, and their dogs are the only members of their timeline to survive because Bruce Wayne was too old to see any more of his sons die in front of him. So they all got knocked out, shoved into an escape capsule, and ejected from the Batman Beyond timeline before it crumbles. Said time pod crashes into the middle of a Red Hood versus Match throw down, and Terry’s Wayne-inherited charisma is so powerful it allows him to banter his way into good graces of both villains. Jason drags them all off to his lair because every single member of the Batfam hoards orphans. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

5. DRAGON BALL

5.1. Saiyajin Pride: Alien biology has a larger impact on characterization that it does in canon. Mirai comes back to the main timeline live in sin with Videl and Gohan. Vegeta and Goku deal with some shit that comes from being the last full-blooded members of their species. Then just as things are settling down… Garlic is an idiot who thinks up a loophole in the “can’t wish people dead” rule and wishes Goku and Vegeta’s families straight out of existence and they end up in an entirely different reality. The only upside is that Vegeta finally gets to kill Frieza. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted

6. FAIRY TAIL

6.1. Flight Of Dragons: Future!Lucy misses her target and ends up landing further back in time, during the same year Natsu and the rest of the Dragon Slayer kids were brought to when they were pulled forward in time. Fairy Tail luck kicks in, and future!Lucy runs into child!Laxus as he escapes from his father after being fed the Lightning Dragon Lacrima. Laxus is handed a Prophecy and runs with it. Children have never needed Fairy Tales to tell them that Dragons exist, but they certainly help. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

6.2. My Heart Overflows: Juvia and Grey have finally started dating, but the Fairy Tail Mage Guild has some interesting traditions when it comes to proving the validity of a romantic relationship. Oneshot, Prompt fill - Posted

7. FAMILIAR OF ZERO

7.1. A Velvet Glove: Crossover with TMNT – Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar. Since all of his brothers are dead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most of this “lifelong bond of magic and spirit” and adopts Louise as his little sister. Halgenkia is not prepared for a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere with ninja training. Henrietta is probably far too gleeful over making her best friend her Spymaster, but it’s not like anyone knows enough about what they’re doing to stop her. Reconquista gets exposed and smashed, and Wardes really should have respected his fiancée more. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8. FINAL FANTASY VII

8.1. A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated as the spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryen used to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently. Meta

8.2. A Feather’s Weight: Crossover with Naruto – Kakashi and Obito, along with their respective subordinates, are reincarnated in Wutai, and are thus in position to undermine a lot of Hojo’s plans simply by being themselves. Wutai still loses, but by a much smaller margin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too late that Wutai’s “concession” was a trap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction for Sephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt, and nobody knows who assassinated President Shinra. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted

8.3. Antiviral: Woden and Gaia conspire to create antibodies to fight off Jenova’s infection. Cid and Vincent end up bearing the brunt of this decision, get roofied by Divine Intervention, and also end up the Gaian equivalent of demonic werewolves. Also the Planet is transforming all the SOLDIERS into werewolves too, yes, even the dead ones. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.4. For Love Of: Cid Highwind crashes the Tiny Bronco into Lucrecia’s cave, does the metaphysical equivalent of tearing her heart out and eating it to absorb her power, and them proceeds to adopt General Sephiroth as his son because it’s not like anyone can stop him. Cid Highwind does what he wants. Sephiroth does what Mother wants. SHIN-RA soon regrets everything because Cid Highwind is a hell of a lot better at rewriting the social order than Avalanche is. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.5. Hindsight is 20-20: CHAOS decides to rewrite time because they have a massive crush on Cid and they don’t want him to die. CHAOS fumbles the landing and Cid ends up in the body of some weird Lucrecia/Ancient-Cetra-Who-Was-Jenova’s-Host Clone and ends up giving birth to Sephiroth. Things only get worse from there. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.6. Like it Rough: Cid likes Vincent a lot and also has a bit of a kink for scars. Cid walks in on Vincent naked, runs away to hide his raging boner, and Vincent ends up chasing Cid around the airship until he can pin his friend down in the Captain’s bunk because the demons are all drunk on the pheromones. Oneshot - Complete

8.7. Names of Power: Jenova’s taint getting mixed into the Lifestream has far-reaching consequences, and Avalanche gets tapped to handle the fallout whither they like it or not. Series, WIP - Posted

8.7.1. Small Packages: The Lifestream meddles in Avalanches lives even after the Planet has been saved. There are clones and ancient powers better off left alone but it’s not like Avalanche ever gets a say in the matter. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.7.2. History Inverted: Jenova isn’t all the way gone and the Planet really doesn’t care if Humanity survives or not as long as the infection is burned away. Aerith shoves the spirits of Avalanche and their children into a new timeline because she doesn’t want to watch their souls get shredded. Avalanche proceeds to mosey along and wreak havoc in the way only they can manage. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

8.8. To Earn the Sky: Echidna, Mother of Monsters and Heroes, and Jenova, the Calamity From the Skies, are at war. Hojo makes a very big mistake when he uses the Blood of Echidna’s Children in his Revenant Project. Cid Highwind is a good son, and his Mother wants to meet her new Grandchildren. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

9. FINAL FANTASY XV

9.1. A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, but Cor Leonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something to fear in Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it will be a very different Northern Kingdom that he finds there. Meta

10. GAME OF THRONES

10.1. Crossover Fixits to Help Westeros be Less Miserably Doomed: Various casts from other series end up reborn in Westeros and use knowledge from their previous lives to change the Game. Series

10.1.1. An Assemblage of Ice and Fire: Crossover with MCU – Team Iron Man focus, since Tony is reincarnated as Ned Stark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter is coming. Tony’s genius intellect, knowledge of politics and economics, experience with magic and alternate realities, and the fact that Extremis carried over through his reincarnation and adapted to work with First Man magic means that the Stark siblings who go to the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothing like the canon versions. Rhaegar gets his Stark bride, and he proceeds to regret it for the rest of his life. Meta

10.1.2. A Balance of Ice and Fire: Crossover with SW – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learners and Padme (who got taken in Anakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrell siblings. They proceed to follow the Will of the Force and prepare the Seven Kingdoms to win against the Long Night. Meta

10.1.3. A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover with CG – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers are reincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission to drive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to the point that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CC shows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s onto something with the “drinking to forget” thing. Meta

10.1.4. A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVII – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated as the spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryen used to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently. Meta

10.1.5. A Dying Will of Ice and Fire: Crossover with KHR – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and all those bonded to them are reincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus is born as Robert’s eldest trueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all it takes is one look at the Wall to know that there is something to fear on the other side. Tsuna is busy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between reciting odes to his amazing betrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told you Xanxus would make the better Heir.” Meta

10.1.6. A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, but Cor Leonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something to fear in Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it will be a very different Northern Kingdom that he finds there. Meta

10.1.7. A Space Between Ice and Fire: Crossover with Naruto WCE – The Konoha Founders and their siblings are reincarnated as Starks and Baratheons and manage to save the Realms of Men while resolving their many and varied issues with one another. Meta

10.1.8. A Transformation of Ice and Fire: Crossover with TFG1 – Most of the Cybertronians who died during Unicron’s Awakening end up reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) and Direwolves (Autobots). The sapience of the animals causes significant changes to outcome of several key canon events. Meta

10.2. Singing In A Different Key: SI is reborn as Jon Snow, who then precedes to Machiavelli the fuck out of the North in preparation for the coming Long Night and also to screw over the Lannisters. Because fuckthe Lannisters. Meta

10.3. Wolf At The Door: When Ice takes the head of Eddard Stark, Valeryian magic mixes with the Blood of the First Men. It’s wild, uncontrolled, and Ned ends up as a four year old in Winterfell’s Godswood, staring at his reflection in the water. Eddara Stark, second-born child and first-born daughter of Rikard and Lyarra Stark looks back up at him. Ned, fully believing that this is his punishment for failing his family and best friend the first time around, decides to fix the Realm by fulfilling the Pact of Fire and Ice. The thing about being a woman is that no one ever expects you to be a threat, not even other women. The thing about being the Quiet Wolf is that everyone overlooks you until the moment your teeth sink into their throat. Concept

11. GET BACKERS

11.1. Holy Days of Yore: Various celebration themed fic that explore Ban’s backstory as the “With Queen’s Grandson” and bring a bit more of that old black magic into the Get Backer’s lifestyle. Series

11.1.1. Lupercalia: Ban gets a magic matchmaker box in the mail and everyone wears their heart on their sleeve for Valentine’s Day. Oneshot - Posted

11.1.2. Oeastre: Ban gets roped into being the master of ceremonies for Maria’s coven and Easter gets interesting. (Everyone makes like bunnies.) Oneshot - Posted

12. GIRL GENIUS

12.1. The Other Side of the River: One of the Jagermonsters manages to catch wind of Lucrecia’s plans and absconds with Klaus Barry during the confusion caused by the first explosion. This understandably causes some disruption in everyones plans when KB and his nanny run into Agatha during her time with the Circus. WIP - Unposted

12.2. Threefold Path: Agatha, Gil, and Tarvek get their brains booted back in time during the si vales valeo and decided to run away and join the circus until they’re old enough to take over the world properly. WIP - Unposted

13. GUNDAM WING

13.1. Mistakes and Misdemeanors: Heero was on blockers for the entire war due to a series of implants, which did no favours to his mental health. When the implants run out Heero gets run over by a hormone train and absolutely nobody knows how to handle that. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

14. HARRY POTTER

14.1. Black As His Name: Sirius Back lives! Because the Veil dumps his mind-and-soul into the empty body of his younger self in a world where Walburga Black lost it on her eldest son much earlier in life and Sirius was tortured until he was left brain-dead. Arcturus Black is pissed off over the treatment of one of his Heirs and since Sirius’ magic is still intact, names Sirius the Heir to House Black and proceeds to hold the Heirship over everybody’s heads for spite for as long as Sirius continues to “live”. Everyone in the Black Family is very surprised when the annual shaming ritual disguised as Sirius’ birthday party is crashed. By none other than the birthday boy himself. Sirius rolls with it and becomes a True Black in the most Marauder manner possible. WIP - Unposted

14.2. Black Hunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with KHR – Regulus and Sirius both end up dumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on its Master’s behalf. Things start to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus is actually Skull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much. WIP - Unposted

15. HOMESTUCK

15.1. A Jump To The Left Behind: Post game reality has all the races living in a Galactic Republic, and the Troll Ancestors and Human Guardians all need to team up in order to solve the mystery of the planetoid-sized meteor that just barreled into the middle of their busiest spacelane because their names are written all over it. In the process of exploring the meteor they accidently wake up the Players and Sprites. Chaos ensues. Concept

15.2. Pandora’s Final Gift: A mermaid AU where a Deep Old One gives Eridan (and only Eridan) the memories of his Game Player Self as a lark. Eridan hits the level cap for his current reality, freaks out, saves Sollux’s life, and then absconds as far away from the center of the Empire as he can get. Concept

16. INU YASHA

16.1. Hunter’s Moon: The standard “Demon Mating Season” idea that draws on the infectious nature of demon energy in the Sengoku Jidai and runs with it. Everyone over the age of eighteen gets some. Kagome gets to go home and take a nap. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

16.2. Cry Wolf: Playing straight with the crack concept that Inuyasha and Kouga were betrothed as children. Kagome isn’t in the picture because she got yeeted back to her own time when the Shikon no Tama got purified. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

17. KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN

17.1. A Dying Will of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and all those bonded to them are reincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus is born as Robert’s eldest trueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all it takes is one look at the Wall to know that there is something to fear on the other side. Tsuna is busy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between reciting odes to his amazing betrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told you Xanxus would make the better Heir.” Meta

17.2. Black Hunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with HP – Regulus and Sirius both end up dumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on its Master’s behalf. Things start to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus is actually Skull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much. WIP - Unposted

17.3. Burning Salt Water: Crossover with OP – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jackson during the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways and he ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the execution Xanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace sets the Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. Meta, WIP - Unposted

17.4. Cat’s Paws: Uri has seen enough Time Travel bullshit to know how it works, and so when Hayato gets himself killed she grabs his soul and flings herself backwards in time because fuck the timeline this is her human and he’s not allowed to abandon her again. The other Box Animals think it’s a great idea and do the same with their humans, and this results in the kind of alternate timeline that gives Byakuran a headache. In other words, Uri creates a timeline where Flame Actives are a lot more Alien than they used to be and now everyone thinks Youkai and other myths are real. Chapters, WIP - Posted

17.5. Fire Shall Waken: All of Nono’s sons are still alive when the Cradle Affair happens and it results in the entire 10th Generation gathering up their Harmonies, rolling Xanxus into a blanket burrito, and taking off to Japan under assumed names where they proceed to spend the next eight years coddling Tsuna and being spoiled rotten by Nana in return. Meta

17.6. Gremlins Della Varia: Mammon’s experiments with the Curse have had some odd side effects on the Varia. It all comes out during the Ring Battles and the other Arcobaleno are Judging You, Viper. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.7. Karma, and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with Naruto. Legendary Ninja from the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt all the Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer. Series, WIP

17.7.1. Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito are ninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and some minor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be in Clans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long before the child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obito repents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life. Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

17.7.2. Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothers are reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno curse being put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start hunting for the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimori during Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take well to this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madara hunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly. Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Oneshot - Posted

17.7.2.1. Karmic Justice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigating the Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target for child stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madara and Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. Concept

17.7.2.2. Karmic Justice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting in Italy for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madara instantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, and Tsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches 100-year-vengance-plot levels of overprotective big brother. WIP - Unposted

17.8. Music of the Spheres: Crossover with SM – Post Stars Usagi and Post Vongola Inheritance Tsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after the Vongola’s enemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protective custody by her Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say she doesn’t need it. Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all the men, and accidently throw Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in the same room she is. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

17.8.1. MotS - Celestial Chorus: Chibiusa’s arrival has Usagi dragging her family to Namimori to prove that Chibiusa isn’t their cousin and things get wildly out of hand. Meta

17.8.2. MotS - Sing In Exaltation: The Shingo from The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life hears the name of his ‘cousin in Namimori’ and immediately begins to meddle. Meta

17.9. Overlooking the Obvious: They say that to truly know someone you need to walk a mile in their shoes. The adage is proven true rather dramatically when a misappropriated Possession Bullet ends up switching Gokudera and Hibari into each other’s bodies. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.10. Reach For The Sky: Kamen Rider Sora and his team are the protectors of Namimori against the invasion of Youma from the dark dimension. Reborn shows up to tutor the last remaining Vongola Heir and ends up in the middle of a longstanding battle against the Forces of Evil. Does the World Greatest Hitman have what it takes to guide the mysterious masked Rider towards his true strength? Stay tuned to find out! Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.11. When the Nightingale Sings: Sky Flames are Dragons, and when a Sky is Sealed they turn into True Dragons once said Seal breaks. Tsuna has the Best Treasures Ever. Reborn is confused but willing to roll with it. Hayato needs to do all the research. Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.12. Where the Sky Meets the Sea: Crossover with OP – The ASL Trio are reborn as Sawada Tsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remember everything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despite lacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsu does keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more than one son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nono never meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everything is now on fire. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

17.13.

18. KYOU KARA MAOU

18.1. The Needs Of Our Natures: Wolfram decides to prove exactly how much his mother’s son he really is and seduces Yuuri. Wolfram seduces Yuuri like it’s his job. (Yuuri likes it.) WIP - Unposted

19. MARVEL

19.1. An Assemblage of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Team Iron Man focus, since Tony is reincarnated as Ned Stark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter is coming. Tony’s genius intellect, knowledge of politics and economics, experience with magic and alternate realities, and the fact that Extremis carried over through his reincarnation and adapted to work with First Man magic means that the Stark siblings who go to the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothing like the canon versions. Rhaegar gets his Stark bride, and he proceeds to regret it for the rest of his life. Meta

19.2. Iron Laced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai in disguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council of Shadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when they took over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony is actually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked in his dragon form. WIP - Unposted

19.3. Miles To Go: Post-MCU Civil War almost-Time Travel where Tony grieves so hard he sends an Extremis injector capsule to the year before the Winter Soldier murdered his parents. Said capsule lands in front of a wasted 15-year-old Tony in the aftermath of a frat party. Cue the face hugger scene. Tony gets an Extremis upgrade about 30 years ahead of schedule and it’s the only reason he survives the memory download without his brain turning into mush. WIP - Unposted

19.4. Perception: Instead of killing Scott in X3, Dark Phoenix instead fixes the brain damage that prevented him from controlling his optic blasts and then shunts him trough time an space. Scott wakes up 18-years-old in Stryker’s lab and proceeds to hijack Wolverine’s rampage so that they can both escape. James Howlett is impressed, and Cyclops hates everything but especially time travel because it ruins all his fallback plans. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

20. NARUTO

20.1. A Feather’s Weight: Crossover with FFVII – Kakashi and Obito, along with their respective subordinates, are reincarnated in Wutai, and are thus in position to undermine a lot of Hojo’s plans simply by being themselves. Wutai still loses, but by a much smaller margin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too late that Wutai’s “concession” was a trap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction for Sephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt, and nobody knows who assassinated President Shinra. WIP - Unposted

20.2. A Space Between Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Konoha Founders and their siblings are reincarnated as Starks and Baratheons and manage to save the Realms of Men while resolving their many and varied issues with one another. Meta

20.3. A Widening Gyre: Rin survives the Chidori and her existence is now an S-class secret. Said S-class secret distracts Obito on his way to ambush Kushina’s labour and several different chase scenes take place. They all end up in the ROOT base made from one of Tobirama’s old labs and instead of Kyuubi getting loose Team Ro, the Fourth Hokage’s team of bodyguards, Obito, Anko, and all of ROOT plus Danzo himself get dumped into the Warring Clans Era. Obito kills Danzo in a panic when he realizes that taking the Bijuu means killing Rin, Kakashi sacrifices himself again, and there is a lot more running around. Kakashi suborns ROOT en masse, Obito is stupidly overpowered and homicidal but it’s okay because Kakashi is playing damsel in distress and distracting him. The Senju and the Uchiha are all really confused by these kids, there are far too many mistaken identities, and Konoha gets founded much earlier than in canon. Meta

20.4. According to Custom: Hashirama and Madara should not be left unsupervised (that’s why Mito and Touka tend to lurk nearby when they have tea together) because it causes them to get Brilliant Ideas. This time they decide to make friends with one another’s little brothers. How Madara went from being “nice” to Tobirama to courting the oblivious younger Senju is still something of a mystery, but there are several bets riding on when Tobirama is going to realize what’s going on. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.5. Around the River Bend: Tobirama feels Itama die and runs to the river to mourn. Quite predictably he meets Madara there, and the course of History changes. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.6. �� Colours and Promises: Set a decade after the Evil has been defeated and life returned to normal, Tobirama (once the magical superhero Dragon) is still living with the side effects of sacrificing everything to save the world while he was still a teenager. Notes on a piano, and a familiar voice singing a familiar song. Tobirama finds Madara (once the magical superhero Phoenix) and finally gets to enjoy his victory. Love can be killed, but it never dies, only ever taking on new shapes as we move on with our lives. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.7. Dare Not Speak Its Name: Madara is Demi as all get out aka Madara’s a virgin with a shy dick. Also known as the AU where Madara proposes marriage to Tobirama for the sake of peace and the children. The only reason Izuna approves is because the thought of Tobirama suffering a lifetime of blueballs is hilarious to him. Meta

20.8. Heavy as the Mountain: Team 7 is losing the fight against Kaguya, but Obito and Kakashi perform a last-minute sacrifice that means the kids survive. It also causes them all to be de-aged by over a decade and thrown back in time to the Warring Clans Era. Kakashi and Obito die, Team 7 gets adopted by presumably-Hatake Kanna, then a few years later they run into Uchiha Izuna and it all descends into chaos. (Team 7 takes total advantage of everything to get their revenge on Zetsu and maybe fix some of Konoha’s longstanding issues at the same time.) Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted

20.8.1. Crumble To The Sea: The adventures of time travelling Team 7 as they get adopted by the Uchiha Clan, arrange to make Izuna’s life miserable until he proves worthy of courting their An-chan, and get aggressively mother-henned by Uchiha Madara. (The last one came as a bit of a surprise.) Kurama ends up adopting the Uchiha Clan because he likes frustrating Zetsu, and Team 7 appreciates the extra time to grow taller before they need to go weed whacking. Concept

20.9. In Konoha We Dance: The Uchiha Clan has a tradition of belly dancing and it fixes everything that was wrong with Konoha in canon. Series

20.9.1. O-Bon Appetite: Thanks to his dance training Izuna manages the core control to dodge Tobirama’s sword enough to avoid a fatal wound and Konoha starts off on more equal footing. Tobirama then walks into a traditional Uchiha celebration and his brain shuts off. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.9.2. Hot Like Burning: Kushina drags Minato to the Uchiha Police Office Party so she can make time with Mikoto and there is so much skin, Minato was not emotionally prepared for this. Fugaku takes advantage of the Yondaime’s weakness as only an Uchiha can and the glorious ‘ship FuMiKuMi sets sail. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.9.3. Got This Fire Burning: Overnight shifts at the Mission Desk gets boring. Konoha ninja like to dance, because dancing isn’t boring. Kakashi shows them all how it’s done when a member of Team 7 hits it. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.10. Karma, and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with KHR – Legendary Ninja from the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt all the Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer. Series - WIP

20.10.1. Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito are ninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and some minor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be in Clans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long before the child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obito repents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life. Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. WIP, Chaptered - Posted

20.10.2. Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothers are reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno curse being put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start hunting for the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimori during Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take well to this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madara hunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly. Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Oneshot - Posted

20.10.2.1. Karmic Justice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigating the Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target for child stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madara and Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. Concept

20.10.2.2. Karmic Justice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting in Italy for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madara instantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, and Tsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches 100-year-Xanatos-Gambit-vengance-plot levels of overprotective big brother. WIP - Unposted

20.11. Look the Innocent Flower: Orochimaru gets the Hat instead of Minato because instead of working for Danzo he creates his Baby-no-Jutsu (the same one that produced Rogu and Mitsuki) and that’s how Orochimaru accidently turns Tenzo into the Orochimaru-and-Tsunade lovechild while field testing some gene-splicing adoption techniques. Sarutobi is so delighted by all the babies he names Orochimaru his successor without any further debate. Konoha proceeds to become a somewhat androgynous, gender-fluid utopia full off affectionate, friendly people who only want you for your body. Orochimaru refuses to allow hypocrisy in his Konoha and loyalty to ones comrades is not only encouraged, it’s enforced. Meta

20.12. Negotiation is an Artform: Remix of The Art of Negotiation by Kage88 – Konoha’s Founders take a trip to Uzushio and the Uzumaki are annoyingly persistent in their attentions, even when said attentions are unwanted. Tobirama’s political savvy is not to be underestimated, and Tobirama’s just as ridiculously overprotective of his loved ones as his relatives are of him. Bitchy pining resolves into dating, and the only reason Tobirama lets Hashirama get away with betting on his love life is because Hashirama was the only one who had faith in Tobirama making the first move. Oneshot, Fandom Exchange Fill - Complete

20.13. No Evil Abolishing Resentment System: Post Kaguya’s return, Madara gets bound by a System determined to help Madara turn all his Resentment Level into Love Points via a quick transmigration plot. Transmigrator!Madara gets to kiss-kiss fall in love with Reincarnator!Tobirama 55 times in a row. I promise that all the gratuitous makeout sessions are plot relevant. Meta

20.14. Only Fools Rush In: Also known as the Uchiha Get Catnipped AU – the scene of Rin’s suicide is a few seconds off from canon and this not only results in Rin remaining alive, but Obito is also welcomed back to life so enthusiastically by his teammates that his Makengyou spontaneously manifests. A year or so later, Danzo attempts to use an experimental drug to weaken the Uchiha Clan enough for ROOT to have an easy time killing them and/or an excuse for eradicating the entire Clan. Only the drug is a happy-making drug that has every single member of the Clan manifest the Makengyou and immediately run off to snuggle their friends, family, and sundry other precious people. Meta

20.15. Red in Hand and Claw: Madara has Raptor Summons. This fact is significantly more terrifying than anyone outside of the Uchiha Clan is really aware of. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.16. Roads Diverged: Kakashi from a Darker-Than-Canon AU ends his fight with Obito with mutual destruction, and as they both lay dying Kakashi confesses to having always loved Obito. Obito being Obito and therefore unholy levels of Extra even for an Uchiha, proceeds to use Edo Tensai on Team 7 in order to heal Kakashi and then fling him through dimensions until he lands in a Lighter-Than-Canon AU where Kakashi sees Rin in time to avoid hitting her with the Chidori. Things spiral from there. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

20.17. Spite And Fury: A crossover with the “Original Goods” Proud Immortal Demon Way from Scum Villains Self-Saving System – Uchiha Madara and Shen Jiu get combined into a single person and Cang Qiong is not ready for this much concentrated asshole. Too bad for them, the new-and-improved Shen Qingqui is here to stay. Meta

20.18. That We Answer to Our Stars: Crossover with SW – Kaguya’s reality warp has some strange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to ever exist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld that is essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it was allowed to cover an entire planet. The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all of Palpatine’s plans for galactic domination. Meta, Chaptered WIP - Posted

20.19. The Memory Remains: Canon divergence via the reincarnation of Uchiha Izuna, his wife Kanna, and Senju Touka as Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi, and Nohara Rin. Yes, they retained all their memories. Yes, Konoha is going to suffer for its sins against the children. Yes, this is going to end in a Team Minato threesome. Meta

20.20. The Thin Line: Kakashi loses patience with the Sandaime when no appreciable action is taken to remove Danzo from power even after Kakashi literally reports to Sarutobi’s face that he was ordered by Danzo to assassinate the Third Hokage. So Kakashi crashes an Uchiha Clan meeting and asks them to run away with him and his cute little brothers to a lovely tropical Island. Cue the Uchiha Exodus That Fucks Over Canon. Kakashi and the Uchiha Clan proceed to re-found Uzushio and collect a few S-class missing nin along the way. Meta, WIP - Unposted

20.21. The Waters and the Wild: The Senju are High Court Fae, and the Uchiha are Wild Hunt Shapeshifters. Tobirama attempts to interrupt Hashirama and Madara during their riverside meeting, only it backfires when he realizes that Madara is his Soulmate. Also the Uchiha are “clothing optional” and Tobirama was not emotionally prepared for this. Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted

20.22. To Linger In Dreams: After Kaguya takes over his body Madara gets yeeted out of reality into the Void. An eldritch Void god takes an interest in Madara and chucks Madara into a Magic Fantasy AU and Madara is even more not-Human than he was before. Also known as that really fucked up AU with cursed ABO dynamics. Meta

20.23. Truth in Hyperbole: Shinobi are what happen when Aliens and Humans have kids, Bloodline Talents are what happens when Kami and Youkai ancestry gets added to the pot. Most of the time Shinobi stay mostly Human. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they really don’t. Series - WIP

20.23.1. Blood Price: Tobirama wakes up after being killed and proceeds to resurrect his little brothers and Madara’s little brothers. Tobirama would resurrect Madara too but Madara had already managed to resurrect himself. Oneshot, Comm. Fill - Posted

20.23.2. Still Waters Run: The Sage of Six Paths gets his ass kicked by his ex-wife, his daughter-in-law, and Tobirama’s mother. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.23.3. A Thing With Feathers: Madara’s side of the story of their transformation into minor kami. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.23.4. Come Away: Zetsu is targeting Obito in another attempt to create the Rinnegan. Kakashi has his first “near death” experience and Obito is not amused at all. Neither is Rin. Team 7 is overprotective and codependent regardless of the generation in question. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.23.5. Quoth the Raven: Danzo’s schemes got him chased out of Konoha to escape execution, and he invades during the Chunin Exams in order to get his revenge. Summoning Tobirama using the Edo Tensai was probably not the best plan. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.24. Tsukumogami No Kankurou: While he is still very young, Kankurou signs a Summons contract with the Tsukumogami (aka the Muppet Theater Troupe) and then proceeds to interrupt Yashamaru’s “attack” on Gaara while simultaneously wreaking havoc across the entirety of Sunagakure. All of this is done to get back at Rasa for not letting Kankurou play with his baby brother. The Middle Child Syndrome is strong in this one. Never underestimate the power of petty spite. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.25. Twice is Happenstance: As a side effect of the battle against Kaguya breaking through dimensions, the ghosts of the Uchiha Clan send their memories as far back as possible. On the eve of his younger brother’s assassinations, Uchiha Madara wakes up with memories of being Indra and Sasuke. All the Uchiha have memories of their past and future lives combining with their current selves, and it causes something of a fracas while it gets sorted out. Cue the Uchiha Exodus That Fucks Over Canon. Oneshot - Posted

20.25.1. Enemy Action: The building of Uchihatlantis, the knockback effects of remembering more than one lifetime, and what happens when the Uchiha start to go back out into the world in order to hunt down their spouses and mess up Zetsu’s plans. Meta

20.26. Two Steps Back: Retired Rokudaime Hatake Kakashi accidently has his first vacation ever interrupted when he visits the Uzushiogakure ruins and gets slingshot back an incarnation or two due to triggering a derelict seal. Kakashi being Kakashi, he proceeds to continue with his vacation until he has a drunken bar hookup with Uchiha Izuna and now the beloved younger brother of Uchiha “I-can-fight-five-armies-and-win” Madara is stalking Kakashi in order to recite (hilariously awful) poetry about the beauty of Kakashi’s kenjutsu. This is not the retirement Kakashi signed up for. Drabbles, Prompt Fills – Posted

20.26.1. TSB – And a Jump To The Left: The epic courtship confusion which descends upon the Land of Fire when the Time-Travelling King of Trolls and an Angry Weasel Brat attempt to out-romance each other. Meta

20.27. Two Truths and a Lie: Mikoto and Kushina have been fake!dating for years to keep the more annoying Uchiha relatives from trying to get her married off. It’s a brilliant plan, and it works perfectly. But times change, and Kushina’s eyes are very pretty. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

20.28. Wills of Fire and Conquest: Crossover with OP – Kakashi is Rouge’s little brother and ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for other reincarnated shinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red Dawn Pirates and Kakashi eventually founds a new Uzushiogakure on the Red Line. Ace decides he wants to be the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insults Ace’s mother so badly during the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 days trying to beat an apology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirate culture clash is frequent and hilarious. WIP - Unposted

20.29. Worth of a Thousand Words: Political Hostage!Tobirama gets caught by the Uchiha just before he manages to use Hiraishin in battle for the first time. The Uchiha are all sensors that use Ninshu techniques otherwise since lost to time to communicate among themselves. This results in a much more united Uchiha Clan who are perfectly willing to let Madara push for a peace treaty with the Senju now that Tobirama’s capture has given them the leverage to do so. Meta

21. NURARIHYON NO MAGO

21.1. 1001 Demonic Nights: An AU Rikuo who was dragged into Yomi along with his Hakkai Yakko during the battle against the Nue manages to escape from hell by jumping into an alternate reality where his mother Wakana had a threesome with Rihan and Otome. Wakana left to take over her family shrine without telling her lovers that she was pregnant. The Rikuo who was born as a result died as an infant from the Nue’s curse on Nurarihyon’s bloodline. Both Rikuo and Otome’s daughter were conceived on the same night and are both half-demons due to Rihan shifting forms for kinky species-play. WIP - Unposted

22. ONE PIECE

22.1. Burning Salt Water: Crossover with KHR – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jackson during the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways and he ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the execution Xanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace sets the Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. WIP – Unposted

22.2. How Far I’ll Go: Roger had other lovers before he met Rouge and one of them was a Fishwife that he met at a Peacemoot. Their daughter was a mermaid and thus needed to remain on Fishman Island for her own safety. The World Government is so Human-centric that they don’t bother looking into any of Roger’s lady friends from the other races. Gol D Ann gives no shits about anybodies prejudices and when her mixed up genetics mean her feet come in about 20 years early she immediately takes off to track down her baby brother. Goldfish is Luffy’s favourite sibling and Ann is delighted to find three baby brothers for the price of one. WIP - Unposted

22.3. Rumour, Slander, Hearsay: Garp is even worse at interpersonal communication than in canon and now the entire Marine fleet thinks that Monkey D Dragon is an oversexed degenerate who keep dumping his illegitimate spawn on his poor heroic father’s doorstep. Otherwise known as Dragon adopts ASL and they seek a glorious Revolution. Meta

22.4. Those Who Favour Fire: Ace survives Marineford, even if only in spirit, because the Goddess of the Sea answered the prayer of another version of Ace. Waking up in the place of his 17-year-old murdered doppelganger, Ace now has to deal with raising a 7-year-old Luffy and escaping the notice of the Marines. Oh, and his murdered younger self is hanging around as a ghost, all the younger versions of Luffy’s crewmates keep showing up on Ace’s boat, and Ace keeps getting tripped up over how much more horrible this world is compared to the one he came from. Chaptered WIP - Posted

22.5. Where the Sky Meets the Sea: Crossover with KHR – The ASL Trio are reborn as Sawada Tsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remember everything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despite lacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsu does keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more than one son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nono never meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everything is now on fire. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

22.6. Wildfire Hearts: Ace goes back in time from his death to the Grey Terminal Fire, figures out how to use natural fire to heal himself, saves child!Ace and child!Luffy, changes his name to Portgas D Riot, runs away to the Grand Line with his baby brothers, puts together a new pirate crew, and hits on Marco so hard the Phoenix forgets how to complete his sentences. Everything works out for the better. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

22.6.1. WH – Heave A Sigh And A Wish For Me: SI-Clearfin Lionfish Mermaid named Occhio D Vittoria gets tapped in by the Ocean Goddess to help Riot et al from Wildfire Hearts succeed in their adventures.Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted

22.6.2. WH – Today Is The Day Of Reckoning: Riot is gathering up his new crew, forming the Anarchy Pirates, dealing with Garp, seducing Marco the Pheonix, and discovering that Sabo survived when his little brothers gatecrash a Revolutionary Army mission. Meta

22.7. Wills of Fire and Conquest: Crossover with Naruto – Kakashi is Rouge’s little brother and ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for other reincarnated shinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red Dawn Pirates and Kakashi eventually founds a new Uzushio on the Red Line. Ace decides he wants to be the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insults Ace’s mother so badly during the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 days trying to beat an apology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirate culture clash is frequent and hilarious. WIP - Unposted

23. PETSHOP OF HORRORS

23.1. Event Horizons: Leon isn’t human, and that changes things in the aftermath of the confrontation with Papa D. Count D wants to unravel the mystery of his favourite Detective, and Leon is starting to wake up. Hopefully they both find the knowledge they’re looking for before it’s too late and their enemy finds them. Chaptered WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

24. POKÉMON

24.1. The Hero Of His Own Story: When Green Oak is replaced as the Kanto Champion less than a full 24 hours after winning the title, he runs. Right into a Celebi that was looking for an assistant. Green Oak gets over his bullshit really fast because oh shit that’s an Angry Legendary. Green is also supremely unimpressedwith Red’s bullshit when he learns that Red was supposed to be dealing with all the world-saving events but is instead hiding in a depression cave. Meta

25. SAILOR MOON

25.1. From Olympus to Mu: The Senshi go to college and Mamoru reunites with the Shitennou. Basis of headcanons and characterization for any further post-canon SM fic. WIP - Unposted

25.2. Music of the Spheres: Crossover with KHR – Post Stars Usagi and Post Vongola Inheritance Tsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after the Vongola’s enemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protective custody by her Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say she doesn’t need it. Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all the men, and accidently throw Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in the same room she is. Chaptered WIP - Posted

25.2.1. MotS – Celestial Chorus – MotS Spinoff AU: Chibiusa’s arrival has Usagi dragging her family to Namimori to prove that Chibiusa isn’t their cousin and things get wildly out of hand. Meta

25.2.2. MotS – Sing In Exaltation: The Shingo from The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life hears the name of his ‘cousin in Namimori’ and immediately begins to meddle. Meta

25.3. The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life: SI is reborn as Tsukino Shingo under the aegis of the Roman God Janus and then proceeds to merrily say ‘screw canon, my sister gets to be happy or else’. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted

26. SCUM VILLAINS SELF-SAVING SYSTEM

26.1. Spite And Fury: A crossover with Naruto and the “Original Goods” Proud Immortal Demon Way from Scum Villains Self-Saving System – Uchiha Madara and Shen Jiu get combined into a single person and Cang Qiong is not ready for this much concentrated asshole. Too bad for them, the new-and-improved Shen Qingqui is here to stay. Meta

27. SLAYERS

27.1. Infinite Blue: Zelgadis starts paying more attention to the deeper practices of Shamanism and gets in touch with his demonic side while achieving deeper harmony in himself. Xellos approves and it all results in magic explosions and very strange demonic courtship rituals. WIP - Unposted

28. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

28.1. Skipped Tracks: The triplets from Underground end up transmigrating into the recently deceased bodies of their counterparts in a SatAM reality and proceed to rock out and confuse everyone. WIP - Unposted

29. STAR WARS

29.1. A Balance of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learners and Padme (who got taken in Anakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrell siblings. They proceed to follow the Will of the Force and prepare the Seven Kingdoms to win against the Long Night. Meta

29.2. A Robe of Stars: Crossover with TMNT – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save the Initiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once the children are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to saving the Vode. WIP – Unposted

29.3. That We Answer to Our Stars: Crossover with Naruto – Kaguya’s reality warp has some strange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to ever exist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld that is essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it hadn’t been fenced in. The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all of Palpatine’s plans for galactic domination. Meta, Chaptered WIP – Posted

30. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

30.1. A Robe of Stars: Crossover with SW – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save the Initiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once the children are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to saving the Vode. WIP - Unposted

30.2. A Velvet Glove: Crossover with FOZ – Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar. Since all of his brothers are dead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most of this “lifelong bond of magic and spirit” and adopts Louise as his little sister. Halgenkia is not prepared for a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere with ninja training. Henrietta is probably far too gleeful over making her best friend her Spymaster, but it’s not like anyone knows enough about what they’re doing to stop her. Reconquista gets exposed and smashed, and Wardes really should have respected his fiancée more. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

30.3. Iron Laced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai in disguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council of Shadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when they took over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony is actually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked in his dragon form. WIP - Unposted

30.4. Paper Flowers: Leonardo and Michelangelo reconnect after years of separation and deal with some leftover issues from their childhood while they prepare to welcome the next generation of Ninja Turtles into the world. WIP - Unposted

30.5. Patching the Trousers: Starting from the end of the Fast Forward arc, Leonardo gets lost in the multiverse and proceeds to adopt all the secondary turtles. All of them. Leonardo is the Mom Friend, only he’s not a friend he’s just a Mom. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

30.6. Stained Bandages: Realistic resolution to the most common dark!Splinter tropes. Leo doesn’t really care about himself, but if you touch his brothers he will kill you. Splinter touches Raphael. Karai is gifted with Splinter’s decapitated head in a box. Oneshot- Posted

30.7. Unraveled Sleeves: After First Contact and Splinter’s death from old age, the Turtles scattered to live their lives. Leonardo is the only one who stayed in the Lair. Making peace with the Karai was only the first step towards healing, and Leo makes peace with himself as he takes on students and his family grows again. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

31. TRANSFORMERS

31.1. A Transformation of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Most of the Cybertronians who died during Unicron’s Awakening end up reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) and Direwolves (Autobots). The sapience of the animals causes significant changes to outcome of several key canon events. Meta

31.2. Action Equals Reaction: There is a time and a place for everything. Even things like learning that your Air Commander is pregnant, and his parents are wingnuts. The middle of battle is neither the time nor the place. Oneshot - Posted

31.3. Compromising Positions: Bay’verse Shattered Glass – Megatron knows that there’s something wrong with his brother, but nobody will listen to him. Oneshot - Posted

31.4. High Stakes Wagers: Decepticon Romantic Gestures at their finest. Series

31.4.1. The Bet: Soundwave saves Starscream’s life after he gets blasted away from Unicron and they proceed to have wild, kinky spark-bonding and that’s it that’s the plot. Oneshot - Posted

31.4.2. The Rebirth: Starscream and Soundwave head off Galvatron and Zarak’s attempt to destroy Cybertron (and Earth, but that’s really secondary to them) and earn their just rewards for being on the winning side. Oneshot - Posted

31.5. Nine Rings of Vos: The Epic Seeker Saga where Starscream is the uncontested leader of the Seekers and he’s using the Great War as a cover to renew his people’s population numbers, add some variety to their core coding, and also destroy the Cybertronian Government because they liked to make Seekers into their slaves. Seven-part Series, Chaptered, WIP - Posted

31.5.1. Before Dawn: A Rings spin-off where the Seekers are actually all sparklings who disguised themselves as their parents in order to survive the Great War. Crash-landing on Earth precipitates the Big Reveal and also the actual adult Seekers get woken from Government sanctioned stasis thanks to the energy surges caused by resource shipments coming in from Earth. Chaptered, WIP - Posted

31.6. No Evil: Starscream is a scientist who wants to stay a scientist but he’s so damn good at being Air Commander that he gets promoted anyway. Also, his best friend/roommate from the War Academy is the closest thing to a therapist that the Decepticons have and that means Starscream stays mostly sane. Concept, WIP - Unposted

31.7. Thundercracker’s So Crazy in Love: Seekers Go Into Heat and that will put the War on pause for a bit because of the crazy. Series

31.7.1. Always the Quiet Ones: Thundercracker terrorizes the Decepticon forces on Earth while displaying for his Wingmates and accidently kills Megatron. Oneshot - Posted

31.7.2. Decepticon Service Announcement: Thundercracker is the new Supreme Leader of the Decepticons and he’s decided that they’re in a good position to negotiate peace terms with the Autobots now. Oneshot - Posted

32. YU-GI-OH

32.1. Old Game, New Rules: Sentinels and Guides are a built in part of society and a certain playing card game ties into that a bit more than most people would expect. There’s a lot of gratuitous soul-bonding smut, worldbuilding runs rampant, and there’s a lot of social commentary on the futility of stereotyping any portion of the population based on a single point of commonality. Chaptered WIP – Unposted

32.2. The Future of the Past: Jounouchi’s past life left a surprise in their soul that the trip to memory world triggers and now Katsuya is living through all of Jono’s memories. Chaptered WIP – Posted (Under Revision)

33. YU YU HAKUSHO

33.1. Bonds: Koenma and Yusuke are soulmates and Enma Daioh interferes because one his brat son is properly wedded and bedded Enma can take a long overdue vacation. Oneshot – Posted

33.1.1. Ties That Bind: Koenma and Yusuke are just starting to get used to being bonded mates when a new/old-and-forgotten enemy shows up to complicate things. WIP – Unposted (Under Revision)

33.2. What Happens on Vacation: Crossover with Bleach – turns out that Kurosaki Misaki was a senior ferry girl on sabbatical (which translates as living a mortal life unaware of her true nature) and she was late returning to work due to being trapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigo and Uryuu are very confused when their “cousin” Kazuma shows up to introduce his new bride to the family. Koenma is just really pissed off by all the paperwork he needs to deal with while cleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. Chaptered WIP - Unposted

#au masterlist post #sanjuno's ficwork #33 fandoms and counting

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juliathephantom · 3 years

Text

JATP Fanfic Recs: Multichapter Edition

* indicates complete

'Stupid Cupid, Stop Hitting On Me' by Bluefire510

Juke

Luke, a troublemaker cupid, meets Julie, who is also one of Love HQ's toughest cases to crack.

She claims to have no desire to fall in love.

But Luke is always up for a challenge.

Let's see if he could get Julie to fall for her Perfect Match by next Valentine's Day.... and maybe teach her all about love while he's at it.

*Operation Hashtag Rulie by where_you_go

Reggie/Luke/Julie

“Explain yourselves,” Caleb ground out.

“Uh…it’s not what it looks like?” Reggie tried, wincing.

“Oh really, Reginald? Because it looks like two of my most popular band members from a family-friendly band are fornicating in public!”

Julie and Reggie get caught up in a PR misunderstanding that leads to them "dating" for a few months. It's not a big deal, or at least it wouldn't be, if Luke would stop acting so weird.

*Unexpected by Phantom_Lover

Luke is determined to breeze through his senior year and onto mega stardom (which means avoiding school, and Principal Lessa, as much as possible). That is until he's forced to work side-by-side with quiet good-girl, Julie Molina, on the big end-of-the-year talent show. The two struggle to see eye to eye, and meeting the all-important deadline seems impossible until something unexpected happens between them.

keys to the cage (and the devil to pay) by HearJessRoar

Juke, Willex

Julie Molina has always thought it would be rather exciting to meet a pirate.

Unfortunately, she's right.

"Julie, Julie Patterson, I'm a maid here in the governor's household," she bluffs. And she wishes that Luke's name hadn't been the first that she'd come up with, because the long-haired pirate's eyebrows raise immediately.

"Luke got married?" he says, sounding oddly betrayed.

His blonde companion looks equally gutted. "He didn't even tell us."

Piss Off Your Parents (Date Me To Scare Them) by TheNameIsBritney

Willex

Alex Mercer doesn't want to go home for Christmas; but if he has to, he's certainly gonna raise a little hell. Enter: Willie, the cute guy in his history of English class who would be the perfect fake boyfriend candidate.

So if you wanna piss off your parents, date me to scare them, show them you're all grown up. If long hair and tattoos are what attract you, baby then you're in luck.

*i'll hold your music (here inside my hands) by musicals_musicals

"Your soulmate must love music just like you do”

Julie is 3 years old, enthusiastically playing a small plastic piano, the first time she sees her string.

It makes sense that music would connect her to her soulmate.

How Julie finds her way back to music, joins a band, falls in love, and meets Luke Patterson (not necessarily in that order)

*a masterpiece in motion, more beautiful every day by fairylightsandrainydays

Willex, Juke

Alex Mercer is a merboy with a fascination for the human world. Willie is a prince who he saves from a storm. And Caleb Covington is the sea witch who is going to make Alex's dream come true.

So long as Caleb gets what he wants.

*days go by and seasons change (lets try again next winter) by itsagamefortwo

Juke

julie's ready for a year away from home, studying and trying to re-find the magic in music. luke's about to start on a summer tour around europe opening for a band. they meet one night, sparks fly and emotions run high. now they've just got to try and see if they can maintain a long distance friendship.

Who Could Deny These Butterflies? by xxPrettyLittleTimeBombxx

Juke

“I know this is going to sound kinda crazy…but, could you maybe pretend to be in love with me for a few minutes?”

—

When Julie Molina approaches Luke Patterson at a bar and asks him to pretend to be her boyfriend, she never expects to find herself in a position where she and Luke have to keep up the ruse for longer than five minutes. Figures that out of all of the strangers she could have approached that night, she’d gone and picked the one guy who just so happens to be in a rock band that’s on the brink of blowing up.

*relight that spark by @ruzek-halstead

Juke

julie molina has had nothing but a tough life. after losing both her parents early on, she was left in the care of her step-monster karen and her two step-daughters. while working at her late father's diner, completing household duties and being at karen's beck and call at all hours, julie was well on her way to getting accepted into the college of her dreams and having enough money to move out.

and then one day she received a text message from an unknown number. it started out innocent, crossed wires based on a flyer she put up three years ago.

this is the story of julie molina and her prince charming, and everything in between.

i never saw you coming (and i'll never be the same) by ruzekhalstead (@ruzek-halstead)

Juke

julie molina, a new student to uc berkeley, secures a job at a tiny, run-down grocery store, where she meets a group of people who inadvertently become some of the most important people in her life.

there's nothing like suffering in the workplace with your co-workers to solidify a bond.

a look into julie's life in a brand new city, as told by the customer service experience throughout the months.

an oddly specific grocery store au that no one asked for but i'm writing anyway to satisfy my brain

*Love Drunk by captainkippen

Juke

Thirty-two missed calls. Fifty-eight texts waiting. Over one hundred various social media notifications. A deep sense of foreboding took over. Julie swallowed. Slowly, she lifted the phone back to her ear.

"Flynn… what happened last night?"

After a night out in Vegas, Julie and Luke wake up to find themselves married. Hijinks ensue.

*So that's how it happens by echocharm (@echocharm17618)

Juke

But it had to be today. Julie had this crazy feeling in her stomach. Not nervous butterflies. More like fireflies that were trying to zap her (Do fireflies electrocute people? She should google that). It felt like that moment her parents spoke about all the time. The day they met. And when they first spoke to each other. Her mom always says that an intense zap went through her whole body.

Are you new or nervous? Julie has been waiting a (short)lifetime to hear those words be said to her.

She walked down a few more steps in the auditorium and found a spot. It was one of the few seats left in the room that wasn’t all the way up in the back. She sat down and settled into the uncomfortable, hard, plastic chair and took a deep shaky breath. The prof was nowhere to be seen. But there was a cute boy in the seat next to her. He had sort of long brown hair that was covered with a grey toque. And he was wearing a cut off t-shirt and you could see his very nice arms. Julie’s breathing was still shaky, and his attractiveness wasn’t helping the situation.

*we're too young to know things like love by Ephemeral_Joy

(@lydias--stiles)

Juke

The various ways and situations people notice the connection between Julie and Luke, whether that be a close friend or a complete stranger.

(started as a 5+1 fic and then i kind of went rogue. oops.)

*and i know i've kissed you before, but i didn't do it right (can i try again?) by Ephemeral_Joy (@lydias--stiles)

Juke

Some things just can't be fixed with a song.

(Julie and Luke break up.)

*The Infamous Tale of Luke and Julie's Grand Trip Across America by Ephemeral_Joy (@lydias--stiles)

Juke

In any normal situation, Luke wouldn't let this random girl hitchhike with him across America.

Then again, he wasn't normal. And neither was she.

(or: the roadtrip!au no one asked for)

*We Found Wonderland by ICanSpellConfusionWithAK (@pink-flame)

At the end of season one Julie isn’t able to save the boys and they are jolted out of existence. But what if there was another way? Julie finds herself back in 1995 with a chance to stop the boys of Sunset Curve from ever dying at all. But will she be able to find her way home afterwards? Will she want to? Or has Alice really gone down the rabbit hole this time...

A Moment of Quiet Conversation by JackONeillisTheMan

Juke

Julie and Luke talk about how he was the one who introduced her to rock. Then just fluff, more and more fluff.

*Feels like I've opened my eyes again by ICanSpellConfusionWithAK (@pink-flame)

Juke

After the whirlwind her life has been since the boys showed up it’s not that surprising that Julie would be a little tired. But is it normal that she’s more exhausted than she’s ever been? With Nick acting weird, Alex and Reggie both wrapped up in their own problems and her relationship with Luke still a big question mark, she has her work cut out for her if she’s looking to sit back and relax.

Basically my ideas and speculation about what season 2 might hold, or at least some of the things I would like to see.

find the strength, find the melody by sunset_phantom

Juke

An AU in which the boys are alive, Julie has been kicked out of her music program, and she somehow ends up falling in love with Luke in three days while he simultaneously brings her back to her first love of all: music.

after silence, wake me up by Vargynja

Juke

Julie hasn't been able to make music after her mother's death. She lives in New York working as an assistant for Luke, working hard to move forward in her career.

Luke finds out he's about to be deported back to Canada. A panicked lie leads them to fake a relationship to get married so he can stay in the country. Despite working together for two years they aren't close but a trip to Alaska to visit Julie's family might change that

Based on the premise of The Proposal (2009)

#jatp #jatp fanfic #juke #julie molina #willex #luke patterson #netflixwewantjatp2

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linxuelian · 4 years

Text

I found a Chinese BL Warring States Game of Thrones, three years older than The Untamed

And I just had to write a review about it! It’s 60 episodes long so I haven’t finished it yet at the time I’m writing this - but I decided to just go ahead and recommend it anyway.

Why, you ask?

For one, it’s Romance of the Three Kingdoms with all the Hollywood action and adult HBO things. It’s got explosions:

Horses falling down:

People getting flogged:

Sweaty soldiers getting mauled to death:

Children used as hostages:

Dead bodies presented in court:

Stylish dye jobs:

Loving father figures:

A Jon Snow lookalike:

And very gay innuendo:

That’s right, unlike The Untamed, which was first written as a straight series featuring Wen Qing as the main female lead and then rewritten again after fans of the novel decided to boycott it, this series was written to be gay from the very beginning. It got taken down by the Chinese Censorship Board after twelve episodes and river-crabbed to death, but a good number of scenes survived censorship. Those that did not made it to BiliBili in the form of “hidden” videos and disguised as “music videos”.

That’s not all. For a warring period Wuxia series, it’s got very beautiful actors, backdrops and clothing. It’s dressed like a fairy tale, with different kingdoms sporting different colours and styles in fashion and tastes.

In terms of art direction, it’s pretty low-budget for a series but the team makes good use of existing props, locations and brighter-coloured fabric to make up for the quality. The costume design is more fantasy-based than period, and the vivid takes and angles in the first season add to its charm.

There’s also its complex story line, which brings us to...

Men with Swords is not a title for the faint-hearted. There is an acute absence of black-and-white morality depicted in it.

If you think a BL series with such beautiful backdrops and fairytale-like clothes is for the simple-minded, one-track-good-vs-evil sort, think again. The series is a tale about Murong Li, a vengeful prince disguised as a musician and his rise to power, leaving behind a trail of death and destruction in its wake.

Where The Untamed fails at delivering gray morality unlike the novel it’s adapted from, choosing to alter its script to fit a more general audience (a commercially-wise decision which got it into Netflix), Men with Swords succeeds in faithfully telling a tale where there is no good or evil, only humanity, jealousy, grudges, rebellion, loyalty, life, death, greed and love.

Everyone has both good and bad sides, just different camps and motives. Men with Swords tells the story from not just one person’s perspective, but from the perspective of many different people, all of whom become entangled in a battle for their figurative Iron Throne - to become the king of the world.

There are no “what ifs” in this story, only decisions, reactions and repercussions

A prevailing theme in this series is that there are no “what ifs” and no turning back in life, only things that have happened and will happen. Murong Li starts his journey as a prince who has lost everything and a victim of war, wandering around for three years while being put down and getting sexually harassed, eventually losing it, taking his chances and hardening his heart as he walks down his conniving, badass path of destruction towards the top.

Men with Swords is not a series for the faint-hearted. It’s a game of chess where the main character, Murong Li, is cunning and decisive, cold and ruthless and many recurring characters die horrible, sudden deaths, friend and foe alike, a la Attack on Titan.

The series is filled with political strife and warfare, peppered with some sweet, comedic and romantic undertones. There is a stark contrast between fluffy and dark in its narrative, which is pretty refreshing overall.

With that all aside, I know what you’re probably scrolling down for:

The main characters and their boyfriends

This is it. This is what you’re here for. Most “BL” series are actually bromances, but the real upside for a BL fan is that this show is not a bromance - it’s a BL title, and even with censorship, the love stories prevail.

I’m going to put this under a cut because it’s LONG AF, but what that means is that there is a LOT of BL content available, and not the type that you have to hunt for. They’re very open about it.

While the show itself has a lot of ships, there’s a larger focus on three main ones, namely the beautiful Murong Li and two powerful kings, the fairy-like Ling Guang and his servants, and King Jian Bin with his general.

Murong Li: Da Ji 2.0 and his rich and powerful kings

If you’re a Jin Guangyao fan, you’ll probably enjoy Murong Li and his elegant, charming viles and ruthless scheming. He’s a surprisingly good fighter too, and unlike most elegant and waif-like beauties in dramas and novels alike, he’s a beauty with brains who uses his physical weakness as his strength, bending and seducing his way up to power.

Murong Li only really goes after rich and powerful people, worming his way into the kingdom and taking them down from the inside. Two main love interests are King Zhi Ming, the childish but rich king of Tianquan:

And Yu Xiao, a powerful barbarian king with a soft heart:

Murong Li, while wandering around as a musician, picks up many tricks along the way to hone himself. He’s adept at dressing up, making himself look helpless and alluring to bewitch powerful men, for one:

See that small smile right there? Yes, our boy knows what he’s doing.

Aside from that, Murong Li’s also pretty good at manipulating people by using their jealousies and insecurities, getting them to fight with each other over him.

Murong Li, although modeled after the cruel and beautiful Murong Chong, the Emperor of Wei, is likened to Da Ji, the favorite consort of the King Zhou of Shang. Da Ji was said to be a malevolent fox spirit who started the art of foot-binding to hide her fox feet. Everyone else looking in can see it, but the King was blinded, just like Murong Li’s powerful love interests. In fact, the series draws a direct parallel to it:

The Guo Shi here uses the term “yao”, which alludes to a malevolent spirit.

It’s not that Murong Li doesn’t have a weakness, though. Just like every Jin Guangyao has a Lan Xichen around to cause him to slip now and then, Murong Li surprisingly is weak towards the most naive and childish character in the series, the truant King Zhi Ming, whose only qualities are having purple bangs and being rich and playful.

No matter how calculative and ruthless Murong Li is in the series, he does end up almost slipping up and giving everything away when it comes to this bumbling fellow:

He’s saved only at the nick of time by one of his followers. Murong Li tells a lot of lies, but the one thing he can’t lie about are his feelings towards King Zhi Ming, who is ultimately the one thing he can’t give up next to his kingdom.

There’s a lot more one can write about a complex character such as Murong Li, but the second ship is just as good. It features:

Ling Guang: The Ex-Arrogant Depressed Hamster hung up over a dead ex

Ling Guang, the mortal enemy and foil to Murong Li, is a baby-faced, very-much-older-than-he-looks character whose sole purpose in this series is to wear frilly magenta clothing, destroy the kingdom of Yaoguang, set Murong Li down a path of vengeful destruction and piss off eligible, probably younger bachelors by comparing them to his very handsome, very loyal and very dead boyfriend, his personal guard, Qiu Zhen, who died sometime over thirteen years ago.

The bachelors’ pissed off takes to this are particularly priceless:

Here’s another one from season 2:

That HMPH face is to die for.

Ling Guang’s delusions are met head-on by these eligible bachelors, his ministers and his allies alike:

Only to be met by a, “haha, NO.”

Frustrating, right? It only gets worse as the series progresses. Due to Wuxia’s fantastical existence of sword souls, he begins to actively test his subjects out to see if they’re his dead boyfriend, whose sword soul is still alive:

Gu Shi’an: WTF.

So why do these eligible, handsome bachelors, particularly this guy from season two, jump at his lap every chance they get?

First off, he’s very, very pretty. He’s arguably the prettiest and fanciest king in the series, with a cute rounded face, favoring fluffy organza, frills and feathers in his garb, and sporting fabulous curls like that of a swan princess on a good day.

Secondly, and more importantly, it’s likely because he’s the type loyal dogs adore.

He’s stupidly and openly attached to his bodyguards and servants, unable to hide his feelings or control them. Ling Guang’s relationships are technically the opposite of Murong Li’s. While Murong Li hides his feelings and goes after men of power and tends to use them before leaving them, Ling Guang’s willing to sacrifice everything, including his kingdom, his health and his own life for men who are merely servants.

He's a king who doesn’t know proper protocol. He’s the type who’ll demand to eat with you at the same table:

Creeps outside the palace to see you off:

Hugs your sword around like a pillow while he waddles around listlessly and sleeps with it by his side after you’re long dead (grand total: 13 years):

Coddles you when you’re sick:

Takes arrows for you:

Isn’t afraid to cry and tell you how it is:

Faints violently and won’t rest until he can get your stolen body back:

The results?

If he’s not what loyal bodyguards like, I don’t know what he is. If Murong Li’s love interests have to pit themselves against each other to show how useful they are for his sake, Ling Guang’s love interests need to wrestle with a dead man he can’t let go of... which is hopeless, because you can’t kill a guy who’s already dead.

As a foil to Murong Li, what’s also interesting to note is that it’s alluded to and foreshadowed that he’s exactly the sort the loyal Yu Xiao, the current barbarian king, would have loved to have as a lover - honest, loyal and doting - unlike Murong Li himself. Gongsun Qian, a deputy minister with great foresight, had wanted Ling Guang to go to see the new barbarian kingdom, but he had refused to go outside the palace, shutting himself inside like an otaku. This decision ultimately gave Murong Li a step forward with his plans, at the great cost of four kingdoms, including his own.

Jian Bin: My boyfriend can (REALLY) fight

Next up is Jian Bin and his general. Jian Bin’s the king of Tian Ji, a new kingdom founded by astrologers. The catch here is that Jian Bin and his boyfriend, Qi Zhi Kan, are both men of science, and this tank of a boyfriend is a genius on the battlefield who doesn’t give a single shit about star signs, astrology and superstitions.

A story between a serious, loving king and his handsome general who was once a simple sword-maker in the woods, King Jian Bin meets his handsome ex-lumberjack boyfriend when he’s attacked, falls down from his horse and is rescued by the man himself.

Jian Bin then brings the guy back to his palace and dresses him in armor:

This puts the king’s general on the war path of several ministers and the superstitious people in their kingdom. As lovers, the two go through various trials together in an attempt to run their kingdom their way.

Qi Zhi Kan may seem like a herbivore in front of the king, but he’s really not one at all. He’s terrifying to a degree when it comes to warfare, and very, very difficult to take down. Unlike the other ministers, Qi Zhi Kan knows that he can expand the kingdom quickly and solve problems by waging war.

Even his allies are scared of him:

Ultimately, it’s a ship meant for those who like watching the king teasing his loyal subject and caressing armor whenever he’s around AND not around. Jian Bin even admits to it on-scene:

This loving and devoted couple were originally blessed as the ones with the most piggyback scenes, tender bandaging-your-chest and armor fondling, but they got censored unfortunately.

Scenes like these made the cut, though:

And that’s it! There are actually other minor ships, but these are the main ones for now.

If you’re sold and interested in the show, the series is available online on Rakuten Viki. https://www.viki.com/tv/35524c?locale=zh

#bl series #chinese bl #series recommendations #c-drama #men with sword #chinese period drama

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apiratewhopines · 3 years

Text

Thanks to @teamhook for the artwork! So fancy!

Midnight

Chapter 4 — The Ball

Summary: In which our heroine feels exposed

Chapter 4 of 7 on AO3

“Some day, when I’m awfully low

When the world is cold

I will feel a glow just thinking of you”

-The Way You Look Tonight, Fred Astaire

Having spent several days eating her way through Misthaven with one eye on the lookout for black sedans, Emma was glad to be heading away from the town and the emotional memories the sight of a pub or gas station would cause. She wasn’t sure why one innocent night with Killian Jones continued to dominate her thoughts and hijack her dreams, but she feared seeing him again would push her over the edge.

That didn’t keep her from wanting to though.

On some level, she knew he had probably already forgotten her. Perhaps he did before the night was even over. Some other passenger might be walking around his place now, wearing his shirts and eating his pancakes.

Because when she dreamed about Door Number One, they always had pancakes for breakfast.

Despite her stubborn heart’s refusal to cooperate, the last couple of days had not been wasted. Arthur turned out to be a man of his word. Like a crazy fairy godmother who sprinkled cold hard cash instead of pixie dust and magic, he kept her supplied in the finest clothes and the chicest accessories. At the same time, he made sure her social calendar buzzed with invitations from a who’s who of Misthaven’s finest and wealthiest families. Events that inevitably threw her together with Lance more often than not.

It was at a garden soirée the previous day Lance had pressed to drive her out to Camelot, Arthur’s sprawling estate just a couple of hours away. Figuring the sooner she got the weekend over with, the better, she remained elusive only long enough to be convincing and then accepted his offer.

She already figured out Lancelot du Lac was a man who enjoyed the chase. She also discovered underneath his rakish exterior was someone who desperately wanted to find love while at the same time being deathly afraid of it. Normally, Emma wasn’t one to psychoanalyze. Still, the funny thing about rich people’s parties was that they were actually very dull, and she had nothing to do but regret not kissing the Captain before they parted ways or come up with profiles on the personalities she encountered.

Psychoanalysis seemed like the safer option.

Now she was waiting in the lobby of the Ritz for Lance’s foreign sports car to arrive so she could finally shake the dirt of this town off her feet. She hoped she could shake the lingering sadness as well. It was doing things to her. Things like making her hear the Captain’s voice in crowds.

“Swan! Swan! Emma, if you don’t turn around this instant—“

Excitement and abject horror battled for supremacy when she realized it wasn’t her mind playing tricks on her. As if in slow motion, she turned in the direction of his voice and her eyes met his across the vast space. Then she watched as Killian Jones began to sprint toward her, pushing people out of his way none too gently while managing not to crease his startlingly posh blue suit. This wasn’t the flirty Uber driver of a few nights ago, all leather and innuendo. Sure he had the same sex hair and twinkling blue eyes, but this man exuded power and authority and, quite frankly, looked more than a little pissed as he closed the distance between them with frightening speed.

Unaware of the drama playing out, one of the valets rushed to her and announced breathlessly, “Baroness, your ride has arrived.”

“I… I’ll be right there.”

Emma couldn’t break eye contact with him. His face was just as she remembered it, as it should since it was less than a week ago when she last saw him. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked frantic to get to her. He seemed to know she was contemplating an escape and he paused briefly, not caring who heard him when he called across the remaining ground between them, “So help me, Swan, if you run again, I swear I will—“

She didn’t hear the rest of what he said as a herd of visitors passed between them chattering loudly in some foreign language, the group taking photos of the architecture and potted plants as if they were worthy of remembrance. She had a brief opportunity to step out unseen under cover of the mob separating them. To forever give this man who haunted her the slip.

Or she could stay.

God, did she want to stay.

—

The estate was as lovely as one would expect. Ancient oak trees lined the drive and gave way to topiaries precisely cut into fantastical shapes as the car approached the main house. Lance regaled her with tales of the vast land Arthur inherited, the numerous homes on the property, and the complete absence of any cell or internet services once you crossed the boundary.

It seemed old man Soberano convinced himself the emerging technologies were a way for the government to spy on people and had forbidden, by way of his last will and testament, any cell towers or fiber lines from ever crossing the property. It was why as coveted as an acquaintance with the family was, people often grumbled when they received an invitation to the country estate rather than one of the other properties throughout the globe. The ancient landline phones served as the communication system for the large estate and the only connection to the outside world.

Of course, most of his ramblings went in one ear and out the other because she was too busy wondering why Killian had been at the Ritz in a suit that looked like it was made for him. She would know. After all, she was now in possession of a wardrobe filled with custom pieces and carefully tailored lines.

Was it a fluke encounter or was he still searching for her? He would give new meaning to the phrase ‘no stone left unturned’ if his sole reason for coming to the premier hotel in town was to look for the broke woman he gambled on and lost. Literally.

“Darling, I feel like you haven’t heard a word I said the whole journey,” Lance gently complained as he helped her out of the low seats of the car and up the grand stairs leading to the front door. He appeared genuinely distressed at her distance, and for the first time, she felt a twinge of guilt for the ridiculous game she was playing.

“I’m sorry. I had some bad news right before we left, and I’m a bit distracted,” she explained, allowing Lance to take her hand as they approached the Soberanos who were waiting for them in the foyer. Their linked hands did not go unnoticed by either of their hosts, although to widely different responses.

Learning she was at the opposite end of the mansion from Lance, the group moved to the second floor together. The servant leading them turned to Lance and said helpfully, “Good news, Mr. du Lac, we found the cuff link you lost on your last visit. It was in Madam Soberano’s sitting room.”

Sheepishly, he looked to Emma as if ready to offer an excuse. Unable to keep a chuckle from escaping at the crazy situation, she patted his arm and said, “The wind must have blown it in.”

With that, the group separated. Arthur replaced Lance at her arm and smiled indulgently at his protege. “You’re quite good. You have him eating out of your hand, and you’re not even trying.”

“I’ve met his type before. The less I try, the more he will. He’ll be begging me to divorce my husband and proposing before the end of the night at this rate,” she joked.

“You don’t know Lancelot du Lac,” Arthur argued. Their leisurely stroll through the second-floor gallery allowed her to see pictures of his ancestors back to the Norman invasion, but she noted there was none of him or his beloved wife who he was fighting so hard to keep.

“Well, you don’t know Emma Swan. He tried to give me an emerald the size of a baby’s fist today.” She had been tempted to pocket the jewel, but some small part of her knew what she was doing was wrong and robbing the man blind when she had no intention of ever returning his affections wouldn’t make it any better.

“Excellent! I won’t even deduct it from your pay if you promise to take him for all he’s worth and break his heart, dear. It will do him some good.”

“How are you still friends with him? Knowing what he’s doing with your wife. I can’t figure out if you’re the most understanding man in the world or absolutely crazy.”

Sighing, he sat down on one of the numerous benches that lined the gallery floor and patted the seat beside him. Emma didn’t know precisely how or when it happened, but he had become almost a friend after the deal was struck. She spent as much time with him as she did Lance and, despite the fact she thought he was extremely odd, she had grown fond of him. “Because I think he was trying to make her happy at first. I told you she wasn’t the only one to make mistakes. This whole thing is my fault. It was my foolish pursuit of wealth that drove her to this, endlessly trying to carve my name into the family tomes as one of the best empire builders in the dynasty. If I had been there for her, if I had just listened when she tried to tell me what she needed…well, we wouldn’t be here having this conversation.”

“I hope for your sake this works.”

“And I hope for your sake, the next time a man tries to give you an emerald, you keep it.”

“How do you know I didn’t keep it?”

“Because I think I’m starting to know Emma Swan,” he explained with a wink and smile before pulling her up and taking her to the east wing. Dropping her off at her room, he teased, “Get some rest, dear. Cinderella needs to be at her best for the ball.”

With a sardonic grin, she countered, “Hard to be at your best when you know every Cinderella has her midnight.”

Hours later, after a nap and a fortifying drink, she shrugged into her form-fitting green dress like it was battle armor. She was joking earlier when she said a proposal would be forthcoming, but she had no doubt Lance would make a proposition of some kind. The trick would be to keep him on the line without actually following through with anything.

She left her room as late as possible to avoid spending too much time around the pampered elite who were her housemates that weekend. While she had met a fair few during her crash course in Misthaven society, Arthur was the only one she didn’t mind having a conversation with, but he was unlikely to abandon Guin’s side to keep her company. Especially since it would put a damper on Lance’s pursuit.

Her destination was the expansive, three-tiered back deck, illuminated by thousands of clear fairy lights and a fair number of fireflies, the faint breeze carrying the briny smell of the ocean that lay only a few feet beyond their well-tended lawn. The men in tuxedos added a dashing contrast to their partners’ colorful evening gowns and cocktail dresses. A string quartet was playing off to the side; the beautiful melody drifted through the party in a way that enhanced the romantic atmosphere to a point it made her hurt.

She was surprised to see Arthur standing alone through the wall of windows. She stopped to take in the scene, complete with busy waitstaff and tables of food.

She couldn’t wait to get away.

“Alright, Guinevere, you want to talk, let’s talk. I have a few serious words to say.”

Silently moving until the curtains partially hid her, Emma watched as Lance and Guinevere made their way toward the patio. Guinevere’s eyes were red and she was fretting with a handkerchief gripped tightly between her hands. “As if you had two serious words in your whole vocabulary, Lance.”

“I could make a very noble speech. Tell you we were just two ships passing in the night, but the truth is, Arthur is my friend. I don’t want to break up a happy marriage. We’ve been playing with fire, but it’s better to end this now before someone gets hurt.”

“Funny how none of that mattered until the baroness showed up. I know you think you are in love with her. I can see it in your face every time she is around. You’re behaving like a schoolboy. You’re a darling, but you need to be careful. We don’t know anything about her. All we have is her word that she is who she says she is. I’ve asked around; no one has ever heard of her. Maybe her hair is dyed, and maybe she’s poisoned three husbands. Sidney told me there was some man calling her a swan and chasing her at her hotel today. It had all the staff talking.”

“You’re jealous, Guin.”

“Terribly. Fun, isn’t it?” The woman rushed from the room, tears flowing freely now. Emma didn’t move from her hiding place, instead waiting until he had joined the party before she followed in his footsteps.

—

As she predicted, Lance made sure he was her partner for most of the night. She followed Guin’s movements with alarm, knowing the woman was on edge and fearful of what she may do if she felt she had nothing to lose. Her glance met Arthur’s when she saw his wife and Sidney go inside, heads close together and a look of shock crossing Guin’s face. The other man nodded at her and trailed after them at a distance.

She wasn’t sure what possessed her to let Lance lead her away from the party into the formal gardens spreading north of the patio. Perhaps she was tired of having to put a fake smile on her face, or maybe she was simply tired.

He kept a steady stream of conversation going, mostly unanswered on her side, and navigated them down an old stone path to a large fountain surrounded by benches and meticulously pruned rose bushes. “Please don’t interrupt, dear, but suppose we were to follow this path all the way to the garage and take my car for a ride through the countryside.”

“Oh, the make-believe game! It’s always been one of my favorites. But why stop at the countryside, Lance? Why not go on a tour of the moon while we’re at it?”

“I asked you not to interrupt,” he teased, pulling her arm through his and continuing to amble further away from the house. “You see, this isn’t some random trip. We have a particular place we are heading. A little estate by the lake where an opinionated old dame lives. It’s twenty ’til midnight. If we leave now, we can make it as dawn is breaking.”

Intrigued despite herself, she asked, “And what business would we have at this chateau by the lake?”

“I want you to meet my mother. To introduce you to her and tell her that I’ve met the one. Then the pale light of dawn will shine on the first day of our lives together.”

He was serious, and she felt like the lowest of human beings when she joked back, “I doubt the day will be the only thing breaking when that bombshell drops. Were we going to share the news with my husband before or after our visit?”

Before he could respond, Arthur called out from behind them on the path, “Baroness Jones, I believe you promised me a dance.”

He reached them seconds later with a pointed look at her. Although he was the picture of sophistication, she could tell by his quick pace something had happened. “A midnight dance as I remember.”

“Of course, please excuse me,” she murmured to Lance, who looked like he was about to protest as she took Arthur’s arm and allowed him to guide her back to the house. Keeping a calm expression on her face, she smiled and nodded to the people they passed and waited until they were out of earshot to ask, “What’s happened?”

“It’s midnight, dear. The ground has opened under our feet. That horrible friend of Guin’s, Sidney, did some digging and found out there is no Baroness Jones. They plan to make an announcement any moment now. I’m sorry I brought you into this mess, Emma.”

They reached the dance floor Arthur installed on the deck specifically for the party, but neither felt like dancing. Instead, they hovered along the back wall and waited for the troublesome pair to return from their scheming.

Sighing, she nudged his shoulder. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. We never really stood a chance at this working.”

“But we were so close. I could feel Guin changing, turning back to me. Now I may as well help her pack her bags,” he replied, grabbing two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and handing one off to her. Clicking his glass against hers in a mock toast, he muttered, “Here’s to wasted years and endless torment.”

He downed the entire glass and, when she only took a sip, he reached out and downed hers as well.

She wasn’t sure what he had to be upset about. She was the one who was going to be exposed as a charlatan, forced to exit under the judgmental gazes of a house full of people who would dine on the story for months to come. Just as she was about to point out it could be worse, she saw Guin descend the stairs with Sidney hot on her heels. “Here we go.”

“I’ll stand by you as best I can,” Arthur promised, his hand coming to rest in the small of her back as if to provide some physical barrier against what was about to happen.

“Ladies and gentleman, may I have a moment of your time? As you know, Arthur and I pride ourselves on providing the best of entertainment at our parties, and I think you’ll find tonight’s will not disappoint. I have a story to share that I think will delight and amuse you. Under our roof tonight, we have a guest claiming one of the oldest names in European aristocracy.”

A murmur started in the crowd, musicians laying down their instruments, even the waitstaff and caterers ceased what they were doing. It seemed as if the entire universe held its breath waiting for Guin to continue. She could tell the woman enjoyed every moment of it.

“I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the heraldry of Cambridge nobility, but let me assure you that in all of England, there is no—“

From the patio entrance, the footman interrupted in a booming voice to announce the arrival of a late guest of note. “Baron Killian Jones.”

Emma had to grab Arthur’s arm to keep from falling when her knees buckled. In the soft light, the Captain looked like a fantasy. His dark hair mussed in a way that looked intentional, but she knew it resulted from repeatedly running his hand through it when he was frustrated. He was outfitted in a tuxedo, the crisp white shirt making his stubble seem even more dangerous in the moonlight. He surveyed the crowd looking for her, supremely unconcerned he had the attention of the entire party.

Arthur looked at the mysterious stranger and then took in her aghast expression and whispered, “Do you know him?”

At that moment, Killian’s eyes met hers and the heat she saw there made it difficult to think, much less speak. “Yes. Yes, I know him.”

“Right. All hope isn’t lost then,” Arthur said with forced cheerfulness as he disengaged her death grip on his arm and went to greet their visitor. In a loud voice, so nobody would have to strain to hear, he said, “Welcome to my home, my dear Baron. It’s been a long time since we’ve met.”

Despite the fact the men had never laid eyes on each other before, Emma observed the Captain as he quickly assessed the lay of the land and responded, “Yes, years and years. I hope you don’t mind me trespassing on your hospitality. I only just arrived in town and the hotel staff informed me my wife was spending the weekend here. I couldn’t wait to see her.”

“With such a charming companion, no one blames you,” Guinevere said smoothly, giving Sidney a look meant to quell any further talk and rushing to meet their newest arrival. “She’s kept us all so diverted this past week.”

Giving the woman a slight grin, he nodded. “I’m sure. She’s nothing if not diverting.”

Moving away from the Soberanos, he took the stairs two at a time until he was standing in front of her, mouth twisted in amusement and eyes on fire. He seemed to drink in the sight of her from the artless way the curls were falling down her back to how her hand was white-knuckled from holding on to a nearby chair.

“You found me.” Somehow her words sounded like both an accusation and a thank you. Her eyes searched his face for some clue as to why he was there.

“Did you ever doubt I would?”

Before anything else could be said, he pulled her into his arms and crushed his lips to hers. Plundering her mouth, not caring they had an audience numbering in the hundreds, he shifted his grip, one hand making its way to her hair and cradling the back of her head. The other drifted lower, moving her body until it pressed against the long length of his. The thin fabric of her dress allowed the heat of him to soak through to her skin which suddenly felt tight and she was desperate for more contact.

She leaned into him, allowing her hands finally to comb through the hair that had haunted her dreams. The silky strands provided a contrast to the rough drag of his facial scruff against her cheek, the feeling of him in her arms doing exactly what she wanted almost pushing her into sensory overload. She didn’t think, who could when faced with such an onslaught, her body moving on instinct. She moaned into his mouth, tongues tangling and tasting of champagne and need.

A throat cleared in the distance and reality came crashing back. Reluctantly, Killian pulled back, resting his forehead against hers and breathing unevenly.

With quiet wonder, she asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I was hungry to see my little wife.”

@teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @stahlop @motherkatereloyshipper @xarandomdreamx @xsajx @klynn-stormz

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sunflowersseemhappy · 4 years

Note

May I ask for the main 6 with an mc who's plague eyes resurface when they're angry/sad/scared?

This ask had me feeling a lot, so it’s good that I no longer had the moving tiredness.

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED, but for now here is my Masterlist!

I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Asra

It happened immediately after he brought you back and Asra thought he had got the ritual wrong bringing you back as you were after you got ill.

He was almost afraid to touch you, almost...

But after all this time all he wanted to do was hold you, he didn’t care if you had the plague or he got ill he just wanted to comfort you when he saw how confused and scared you were.

He held you until you stopped shaking and your breath grew steady and when he pulled back to glance at your eyes again they were bright and clear. No red.

Maybe... had he imagined it?

No.

Over the course of teaching you how to be you again Asra saw those red eyes again, when you were angry, sad or scared.

He had to teach you early on that not everyone would understand and that they might be afraid. You’d have to be careful because people might panic thinking the plague was back.

But he’s been invested in making you feel like you have nothing to hide from him and that he’ll always try to understand what you need.

Those red eyes are a harsh, constant reminder that he could have done better, but at least you are here.

Alive.

Nadia

The first moment Nadia saw that flash of red was after Valerius had spilled that wine all over your front, she dismissed it as a trick of the light.

It was fair to say it didn’t immediately occur to her that it was a sign of the plague, seeing as her memories where so scattered.

However she got a better glimpse the next day and when you saw she saw you had to hastily tell her that it certainly wasn’t how it looked.

As you explained Nadia sat patiently and even though (at the time) you had no idea why exactly it happened, Nadia wholly believed you.

She would have known if you were lying anyway.

What’s more she saw how much it upset you, and it’s certainly not her nature to alienate others for something so trivial.

All she can do is comfort you.

Promising you need never worry about hiding them from her.

Or worrying about what others may think.

Nevertheless she takes great care in keeping you happy so that your plague eyes don’t show, but in the end it’s a part of who you are.

For better or worse.

Julian

He shuffled into the room after you had just let out a string of curse words as you stubbed your toe against the bed frame, he went to laugh but it died inside his throat as he looked at your face.

Your red eyes are glaring angrily at the fame before you realise he’s staring at you with horror and you quickly remember why.

Both of you are silent before Julian practically trips over his feet to catch your face in his hands, turning it about and checking your temperature.

A cold chill has his hands clammy and fumbling, he’s too worried and asking too many questions to acknowledge your own words.

When you get the chance you seize his face and point it to yours demanding he watch your eyes and as you calm down the red disappears.

You tell him it’s okay and although he’s unsure if that’s true he listens as you carefully explain the situation.

He is too relieved for words.

And kind of embarrassed he freaked out so much.

It makes him feel a bit better about his own eye, knowing you two share a similar scar from the past.

Has a laugh at the thought of you wearing two eye-patches to hide it.

From that point on Julian gets the odd chill up his spine when he sees it happen other times, but so long as you’re healthy he’s happy.

It’s all he can ever ask for.

Muriel

The day Muriel saw that red in your eyes you were clinging to him after slipping in the fast current of the river and had just inexplicably been frightened of drowning in it.

Asra almost definitely told Muriel that it happened every so often before the mountain man even met you.

Of course hearing about it is one thing, seeing it is another. It made him uncomfortable to say the least when he saw that scarlet red a reminder of Lucio and the pain he brought to many lives.

You practically felt him stiffen at the touch of your arm (and not just because you were touching him).

Those red eyes reminded him too much of the past.

Seeing the hurt in your eyes as the red dimmed, that was harder.

He should have known better

After all Muriel’s appearance had always been, he knows what its like to feel judged and looked upon in fear.

He doesn’t want you to feel that way and even if other people might be afraid he vows that he won’t (just as you are not afraid of him).

So he takes your hand and gives it a squeeze with apology in his eyes, the two of you don’t really have to say anything but an unspoken word passes between the two of you.

I’m here, I always will be.

Portia

She had never seen the red eyes of plague victims until that evening when you cried over the passing of the injured bird your had been nursing.

At first she thought it was because of your tears but taking a closer look she saw just how red your eyes were and she was instantly bombarded by all the horrible stories people had told her about the plague.

She began crying. A lot.

She didn’t want you to die, and she sniffled that thought out when you asked her what was wrong.

It was a bit awkward telling her what was actually going on with your eyes, and she wanted to triple check your eyes and your temperature.

Afterwards she was quite relieved.

No, very relieved.

You’d just found each other and she could not bear to loose you, it would have been sweet her saying that.

Except when she said that if you left her in such a way she’d probably end up becoming a crazy cat lady and kids would throw stones at her window and then maybe one day she’d meet a kid who would ask her story and then she’d tell them the tragic tale of her sickened lover. And then go on a grand adventure, etc... for a way to bring you back once more.

She has an... active imagination to say the least.

But the two of you wouldn’t have it any other way, you can become crazy cat lady’s together.

Indeed you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Lucio

Naturally he sees your red eyes when you angrily tell him off for doing the stupid stuff you told him not to do and he visibly winces at the sight.

He actually falls back in shock and after you realise what he saw you feel pretty bad, but he’s holding out a hand as if to ward you back.

It’s a few moments of terror for Lucio because he remembers being ill and how bad he had felt for all that time and he never wants to feel like that again.

But you’re standing there as the red in your eyes fade and his heart shatters, he didn’t mean to...

You softly explain to him from across the room that you can’t help it, you’re not ill, it just happens when your angry, sad, or scared.

Lucio wouldn’t admit it but he knows he makes plenty of people angry.

Of course at some point he had to make you angry...

Yeah. Maybe he deserved the scare from your eyes...

But right now seeing the hurt in your eyes, Lucio knows you need comfort more than the satisfaction of scaring him after he pissed you off.

So he’ll sigh and grab you into a hug asking you to forgive him for everything and promising you he didn’t mean it.

Maybe he’ll admit to you he was scared, maybe not.

But he won’t ever shy away from you again because through everything you trusted him and he wants you to know you can trust him to stick by you even when he’s scared (of you or something equally as fierce).

Always.

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bbrandy2002 · 4 years

Text

Happy Birthday Jessica!

Title: Twinsane

A/N: Jessie, You already know Burns and I are big fans of your characters and stories, in particular your Leo and Drake. The three of us made our big writing debuts at the same time in the Summer of 2019 and became fast friends that have continued through every high and low we’ve each experienced in our lives. You’ve always been a great and supportive friend with a big heart and a bit of a funny bone. We both hope you have an amazing birthday and we wish you all the best in the coming year.

This story takes place in a universe created by @jessiembruno.

Palace -- Throne Room

Liam paced the ancient throne room, site of their infant daughter’s upcoming anointing and baptism. Everything seemed to be in place; Regina had made sure of it despite the cast on her arm from her latest sex injury.

Still, he worried.

Not because of terrorist threats, not because of Lilyana possibly blowing out her diaper and ruining a $2,000 christening gown. No, he had two concerns:

His brother and his brother-in-law.

His wife tried to console him about it, but every time she did, the new father threw his hands up in the air and said, “I don’t want to talk about that stupid pendejo. I just can’t with him --” and the fights they had afterward weren’t worth it.

Leo had passed two kidney stones on the day Lilyana was born. Liam felt bad for him; he really did. Everything he’d heard about passing kidney stones was that it was a truly painful ordeal.

But Leo, as always, had taken things too far.

First of all, he’d named them: Rocky and Peter. He referred to them as “the twins,” and everywhere he went, that goddamn jar went with him. It was embarrassing to be somewhere with him in public and then to hear the telltale rattling as he adjusted change in his pocket.

That was nothing, though, compared to when he’d bought “the twins” a Silver Cross Balmoral pram at the eye-popping price tag of seven grand. It was both nicer and more expensive than Jessica and Liam’s $2,700 Bugaboo by Diesel stroller; Liam had thrown a fit. And not just because Leo had charged them both to Liam’s credit card.

“We are carting around a royal baby! You spent seven thousand dollars on a grocery cart for your goddamn kidney stones?”

Leo, puffing out his chest, had merely clutched the jar of medical waste to his heart. “My children are royal adjacent, thank you very much.”

At least Drake understood that the elder Rys brother was off his rocker, but since Drake flew all the way off the handle every time the subject was mentioned, Liam tried to avoid the inevitable blowups. Just last week, there had been an … incident at a formal dinner.

“Drake, will you watch the boys while I take a piss?” Leo had extended the jar toward the surly dark-haired man.

“Get those fucken things away from me, Leo! Those were in your fucken dick! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Liam had tried to calm Drake down -- Princess Lesedi looked absolutely horrified at the outburst -- but as usual, Leo just made things worse.

Huffing loudly, he proclaimed, “Lilyana was in Jessica’s bacon hole, and I don’t hear you complaining about that, Drake. You hold her all the time, but you never take the twins when I ask! I am through with this open favoritism!”

Only Alyssa, quietly intervening and taking the jar, had prevented a full-on brawl from breaking out. But since she started to cry when Drake refused to hold her hand afterward even following a thorough handwashing, the crisis hadn’t really been averted in the end.

Thinking of Drake only led Liam to ruminate on Mateo, his brother-in-law. Nearly a year before, when the four friends had attended a Yankees game with Jessica’s brothers, Mateo had made a sloppy pass at Alyssa without knowing she was in a relationship.

Well, to be more precise, he’d actually talked about Alyssa in front of her face, not realizing she spoke Spanish, and told his brother “Alyssa can sit on my face.”

The only thing that had saved the weekend from devolving into complete anarchy was that Drake didn’t know enough Spanish to translate. But someone -- probably shit-starting Leo -- had explained Mateo’s words to Drake, and now Alyssa’s new husband was out for blood.

If any of them ruin my little princess’ day, Liam swore to himself, I will murder them. I’m king. I can pardon myself.

------------

Palace -- Ballroom

Lilyana was properly anointed and baptized. At the head table, overlooking the large gathering as he cradled his daughter in his arms, Liam looked over the party with a sigh of relief and scooped up another forkful of chicken tagine. Everything had gone off without a hitch, and now they just needed to feed all these people, hand the princess off to Regina or one of her doting aunts or uncles, and he could spirit his wife away to take his “royal scepter” anywhere she wanted it.

His eyes tracked to Leo, who was in rapt conversation with Penelope across the room. When Leo pulled the jar out of his pocket, Liam threw back his entire scotch in disgust.

Jessica, resplendent in a new Ana de Luca original, came back to the table. “God, these fucken people are intolerable, Liam. How much longer --” Her words were cut off when Liam wrapped his hand around her wrist.

“My love, give our daughter to her grandmother. Te necesito. Ahora,” he added, eyes locked on hers. (I need you. Now.)

She took the baby from his arms and brought Lilyana to Alyssa. “The princess needs some time with her Auntie Lyss.”

Alyssa smirked as she kissed the infant’s sweet-smelling head. “And the queen needs to get her back blown out?”

Jessica tossed her hair. “Fuck yeah.”

Alyssa high-fived her before she walked away.

------------

Palace -- Liam and Jessica’s Quarters

“You’re so gorgeous, love,” Liam grunted, gripping a fistful of Jessica’s hair and tugging her head back, exposing her throat to his lips and teeth.

She shuddered at the feeling, reaching for his thick length. “We don’t have a lot of time …”

“We have as much time as it takes.” He unzipped the dress and slid it down her body, admiring the curves that had only become lusher with motherhood. Lowering her to the bed, Liam’s lips moved over Jessica’s breasts and stomach. He toyed with the waistband of her underwear.

“Liam, please --”

The panties dropped to the ground, and her plea melted into a throaty groan at the first swipe of his tongue. “Fuuuuuuuuck.”

“Yes, love,” he said against her, working her with his hands and mouth. “Dámelo.” (Give it to me.)

She was still shaking with her release when Liam crawled over her, his rigid cock probing between her thighs. “Now, muñeca.”

Something crashed against the door.

------------

Palace -- Ballroom

To his delight, Leo had reunited with Miss Willoughby, his fourth-grade teacher. Though she was no longer as perky as he remembered and had grown an unfortunate goiter, she listened attentively to Leo’s stories about his children.

She had had a lot of champagne.

“Do you have a picture?” she asked at last, after Leo had regaled her with the tale of taking Peter and Rocky grocery shopping for the first time.

“Even better than that.” Leo proudly reached into his jacket pocket. “Boys, I’d like you to meet Miss Willoughby.”

The teacher shrank back with concern. “Leo … what -- what is that?”

“They are Rocky and Peter.” He pointed to each stone as he introduced them. “Their birth was excruciating, but it was worth every moment of pain.”

Miss Willoughby rubbed her misshapen throat lump. “Are those --”

He heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Technically they are kidney stones. But the word ‘kid’ is right in there! Love makes a family, Miss Willoughby. Not your status as ‘human.’” He punctuated the last word with finger quotes of disgust.

------------

On the other side of the room, Drake’s gaze narrowed on a familiar face. “Devereaux!” he hissed.

Alyssa looked up from where she had been singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” to Lilyana. “What?”

“Is that Jess’ fucken brother?”

She bit her lip. It was Mateo, but no way was she letting Drake get involved in a brawl at the princess’ anointing, for Christ’s sake. “I don’t remember.”

“What do you mean, you ‘don’t remember’?”

Waving a breezy hand, Alyssa hastily tried to defuse the situation. “Oh, I was drinking a lot that day.”

“A lot for you. Not for your average 15-year-old,” he snickered, agreeing.

To Alyssa’s relief, the man had slipped out of sight. “Well, be that as it may, you should let that Mateo thing go. Everything’s cool.”

He scowled. “It is not. I know he’s here today! I’m going to find him and kick the shit out of him.”

-----------

“You should call me Roberta.”

Leo raised his eyebrows. “Miss Willoughby -- Roberta. I would be delighted to.”

She set down her flute. “You certainly grew up handsome …”

Smoothing his blond locks back into place, Leo gave her a rakish grin. “Why, Roberta. How forward of you.”

“Is there somewhere we can get away?” She reached out and gripped his ass with surprising strength.

“I guess that depends on how much you’ve had to drink.”

“The perfect amount.” Her hand slid around to the front, grappling with the front of his pants.

“Whoooooooa. Well, in that case, yes. We can get away.”

------------

Alyssa handed Lilyana to Drake in another attempt at distraction, nervous about the way he was pacing the room. “Uh, I have to use the bathroom. Can you take the baby?”

He was already cooing at Lilyana, assuaging Alyssa’s nerves until she made out the words. “And Uncle Drake’s gonna beat the fuck out of your Uncle Mateo ... yes, he is! Yes, he is!”

“Drake!” she gritted.

“Because nofuckingone talks about your Auntie Lyssa like that; no, they do not!” he continued in a singsong voice, ignoring Alyssa completely.

She rolled her eyes and headed out of the ballroom, content that he at least wouldn’t start any physical fights with a baby in his arms.

------------

Palace -- Liam and Jessica’s Quarters

Jessica sat up with a start, unfortunately bending Liam’s manhood at an awkward angle. He screamed.

“Who the fuck is at the door?” Her shrewd eyes, trained to find danger, scanned the room. She threw Liam’s jacket on -- their size difference meant it fit her like a gigantic robe -- and grabbed her taser.

“Love, wait!” Liam struggled up from the bed, wincing at the pain in his dick.

“Goddammit, Leo!” Jessica screeched upon throwing the door open.

Her brother-in-law’s bare ass, driving rhythmically toward a faceless someone who was pressed against the opposite wall, greeted her.

“Jess! Fuck!” Leo slowed. “Sorry, Roberta, hang on.” Continuing to hold her against him as a shield, he craned his head around to look at her. “I’m a little busy right now. What?”

She slammed the door closed. “Liam, get dressed.”

“What the fuck is going on?” The king complied, his good mood completely dissipated.

“Your fucken brother is banging someone outside our door. I’m pretty sure his ass is the crashing sound we heard. His naked ass touched the door. I’m having maintenance replace it tomorrow!”

------------

Palace -- Hallway Outside Liam and Jessica’s Quarters

Leo struggled back into his pants, grateful that his partner had kept her dress on. “Miss W -- Roberta, I’m really sorry, but we’re going to have to cut this short. Er, not that anything about me is short, obviously. But I’m pretty sure my brother’s about to come out here --”

The door flew open. “LEO, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Liam raged.

“Run!” Leo grabbed Roberta’s hand and took off running down the corridor, jacket in his other hand.

------------

Palace -- Ballroom

Alyssa hadn’t come back, but the more Drake stared at the man he had noticed earlier, the more he was convinced it was Mateo Garcia.

That fucker.

Lilyana had fallen asleep against his chest. He wasn’t going to disturb her or put her in danger, but …

Drake looked at the abandoned plates of cake on their table. Steadying the baby with his left arm, he picked up a handful of cake and squeezed it experimentally in his fist. Maybe he hadn’t played ball with Liam and Maxwell in a few years, but he still had a decent arm.

He rose, stalking closer to his target but staying close to the exit for a quick getaway.

Drake raised his arm and fired.

The handful of cake exploded against the man’s face. Spluttering, Mateo whipped his head around and roared, “What the fuck was that?”

Drake and Lilyana slipped out the nearest door, almost colliding with a sweaty Leo, panic in his eyes.

Leo grabbed Drake’s shoulders, careful to avoid Lilyana’s head. “Drake! We have a crisis on our hands!”

He listened to Leo with only half his attention; his other ear focused uneasily on the new commotion of screaming and -- was that breaking glass? -- inside the ballroom.

“So I need you to come on the search mission with me,” Leo finished.

Drake shook his head to clear it, registering an older woman with a prominent goiter slinking back into the ballroom. “The fuck are you talking about? Did you just finish having sex with that woman?” He jerked a thumb toward Roberta.

The blond man scowled. “I didn’t get to finish, and neither did she, thanks to Jess and Liam’s drama.”

“But the --” Drake gestured to his neck.

Leo waved it off. “I hit it from behind. No distracting visuals that way.”

“You, dickhead!” Drake grimaced. “Thanks for the mental image.”

“My pleasure. Now, we need to go. Find someone to take the baby. I need you completely focused.”

“On what? Where the fuck are we going?”

“Have you not been listening to me? Jesus, Drake! I need you to help me find the twins!” Leo raked his hand through his hair, making it stand on end as his blue eyes burned with obsessive fire. “I took my jacket off when I was nailing Miss Willoughby -- er, Roberta -- and the jar must have fallen out. My children are missing, Drake!”

Drake nestled Lilyana against his chest and covered one of her ears. “You -- you have lost the fucken plot, Leo. I am not searching for your -- your -- dick rocks!”

“You were there at their birth, Drake. It hurts me that you take no interest in your godstones.”

“Stop calling them my ‘godstones’! That is not even a goddamn word --” Drake broke off his rant as Alyssa appeared in the hallway, covered in red. “Jesus Christ! Baby!” He thrust Lilyana into Leo’s waiting arms; the baby woke up and began to cry. “What happened?”

“Huh? You made the baby cry!” Alyssa went to take Lilyana, but Drake grabbed her.

“Look at you, Devereaux! Where are you bleeding from?” Frantic, he tugged the neckline of her dress aside, exposing her bra. She slapped his hand away.

“Stop! I’m not bleeding!”

“But --” He gestured to the bright stain marring her light blue dress.

She looked down. “Oh, that. Someone dumped gazpacho on me when I was walking through the ballroom.”

“What?”

Alyssa pointed. “It’s anarchy in there; didn’t you notice?”

The men peered into the room. Roughly 40 people, most screaming, flung food at each other, ducking to avoid flying lunch items and using plates and -- in several concerning cases -- overturned tables as shields.

“What happened?” Leo looked concerned.

Alyssa noted the guilty look on Drake’s face as she rocked and tried to shush Lilyana. “I think this baby needs to eat. Have you seen Liam or Jess?”

The question seemed to snap Leo back to reality. “You should look for them, Lyss. Head them off --”

“What do you mean ‘head them off’?”

But Leo continued, “And in the meantime, Drake and I need to find the twins!” He grabbed a loudly-protesting Drake by the arm and dragged him down the hall.

A moment after they turned the corner, Alyssa, still rocking the baby, was startled by her voice from behind her. She turned her head to see Liam and Jessica stalking rapidly toward her. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re back!”

Jessica took Lilyana, cuddling her. “Let’s go eat.” Stepping into the ballroom, she shrieked, “What the fuck?”

------------

“I need you to help me file a missing persons report,” Leo said 15 minutes later, after they had repeatedly combed the hallways looking for the jar of kidney stones. “My children are in danger!”

“Stop calling them your fucken children!”

Leo pressed his lips together with frustration. “I went through two hours of labor and five minutes of pushing, all for your GODSTONES! The least you can do is help report the twins’ disappearance and bring them back to their Papi Chulo.”

He was saved from Drake’s wrathful retort by a notification on Drake’s phone. “Oh, no you don’t,” Drake muttered, typing furiously on his keyboard.

“What are you doing?” Leo huffed impatiently.

“Someone outbid me for this lure I really want.” Drake finished typing and sucked in a breath. “Ohhhhh shit.”

“What now?”

Raking a hand through his hair, Drake extended his phone toward Leo. “Uhhhhh, I think you better look at this.”

“HOberta69? Drake, don’t buy anything from a seller with that name -- holy shit!” he exclaimed as he looked closer.

He clicked the link; the phone screen filled with his own image. “Yeah,” video Leo said, “it hurt like a son of a bitch when I pushed these li’l fellers out, but that’s parenthood!” He held up the jar and shook it. “The rascals.”

Drake covered his face with his palm. “You are so fucken embarrassing.”

“This fucken kidnapper! I give her the best two-pump-chumpin’ she’s ever had and this is how the old bag repays me? Oh, the fucken humanity! I will hunt her down! I will throw her in the dungeons! I will --”

“She’s basically holding them for ransom,” Drake said reasonably. “Maybe if you message her …”

But Leo had already clicked the “buy it now” option. “Thank God I still have Liam’s credit card saved to my account.”

Drake’s eyes widened. “You paid for the dick rocks? With Liam’s credit card? You know he’s gonna fucken kill you?”

“Calm your tits, Drake.” Leo heaved a heavy sigh. “You and Alyssa haven’t created a family yet. The first lesson you’re gonna learn when the time comes, though, is that parenthood is full of bullshit sacrifice … and Liam is the lucky guy who gets to make that sacrifice.”

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Strings”

Happy Saturday, RWBY friends! I am, quite obviously, going to dive into the recap in just a moment, but first I wanted to take a short detour to discuss the elephant in the tumblr room. Namely, Supernatural.

For those of you out of the loop, the tl;dr is that a fifteen year, beloved show ended with a truly horrendous finale. Specifically, the finale rejected everything that the show had been building towards: the logical conclusion to character arcs, the theme that “family don’t end in blood,” the potential for a queer romantic relationship… I could go on. The point I want to make is that the fandom had every reason to believe we’d be getting these things. This isn’t a case of fans upset that the finale didn’t go the way they wanted as an individual viewer, but rather that the finale didn’t go the way the show clearly and explicitly said it would. It’s not an exaggeration to say that in many respects, viewers were straight up lied to.

(I recommend reading the reviews.)

What does this all have to do with RWBY? Well, I can’t help but think that history is repeating itself. Certainly there are some notable similarities between the two series. Both have long, meandering plotlines with no clear end in sight (though I hope RWBY doesn’t reach the 15 Volume mark…). Both began with a small, core cast, but quickly expanded—generating the expectation that these now equally important characters will be given their due. Both have moved from the small conflict of fighting everyday monsters to a god-based mythology. Both have a popular queer relationship dangled in front of the viewers, featuring scenes where they’re “obviously” in love… but will it ever be confirmed? Both have a fanbase that says loudly and confidently that the writers know what they’re doing. Just wait! It’s all been planned! We’ll be rewarded for our patience and soon all the naysayers will be proven wrong.

Thing is, the Supernatural fandom wasn’t rewarded. Right up until a week ago those fans—myself included—had faith that the writers knew what they were doing because they can’t really be that out of touch with their own story...right? It’s not possible. Yet they were, it was, and now that I’ve gotten solid proof of precisely how far a show can go to reject its own logic, themes, and premise, that just makes me more wary of RWBY’s mistakes. Before I had a solid faith that things couldn’t possibly get that bad, that no matter how much RWBY might be messing up in the short term, it will undoubtedly pull it together overall, because what show wouldn’t? Especially a show with such promise and, at times, wonderful storytelling. Well, Supernatural didn’t manage it and frankly I’m not sure what to do with that information.

Seriously. I don’t have any grand conclusion here. It’s not my intention to suggest that anyone should stop watching RWBY, or to claim that it will absolutely fail because Supernatural did. Obviously, we don’t know what will happen until we get to see it in the show. I only want to acknowledge these parallels and the similar journey I see both fanbases on. I can’t help but wonder if, a couple years from now, RWBY fans will be making incredibly optimistic posts about how it’s all coming together, just have some faith, everyone who says that the group won’t get a satisfying ending, or Blake and Yang won’t be confirmed are just mean trolls… only to wake up that Saturday morning and get another metaphorical slap in the face.

It’s something to think about.

But here I’ve spent a page talking about the wrong show. Let’s get into the episode!

We open on a black screen with lots of ambiguous noises. At first I thought this was Oscar struggling in the Hound’s grip or something, but then I remembered that RWBY likes to insert an episode between cliffhangers. I watched Ironwood (presumably) shoot a guy and he only came back this week (though that question still isn’t answered. At this point I kind of wonder if it will be). Oscar was kidnapped last week, which means we won’t get to see him until next week. Or… two weeks from now? RT skips the week of Thanksgiving, don’t they? Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Something horrible happens to Oscar and we need to wait two weeks to find out how it’s resolved.

Watch him escape the Hound off screen and return to the group with a new outfit 😂

So it’s not Oscar we hear, but Ruby, the last one coming out of the tube. Weiss is in the process of pulling Nora’s ear for that stunt… with a frankly strange looking hand. What’s up with RWBY animating weird hands lately? I’m pretty sure that’s not how anatomy works.

Anyway, Nora counters that this was a “Once in a lifetime experience,” but they were all going to go through the tubes regardless. Weiss isn’t pissed that you sent her through, she’s pissed that you did it unexpectedly when she was alone, heading into enemy territory. But of course, there’s no one in the room to hinder them, so the mistake is meaningless.

We’re setting the tone again though. For the first half of this episode everything is sunshine and giddy adventure, which doesn’t fit the situation at all. It also creates emotional whiplash when I’m suddenly supposed to be super worried about things later on. This sort of about-face works once in a blue moon, as an emotional punch, like we see in Mulan:

But RWBY does it every other episode, which makes the overall tone of the series confusing instead. Half the time RWBY feels like two different stories—the cartoony tale of girls going on fun adventures, and the traumatic tale of a fantasy war—that have been badly spliced together.

“Alight, Robo-Girl, which way?” May asks and Penny demonstrates why she’s the best for sneaking into a facility. She’s able to map out the whole place, including seeing where everyone is so they can avoid detection. Kudos to RT for going this route. I was worried that they would have Ruby and the others straight up attacking Atlas grunts, knocking them out/potentially even killing them because who cares, right? They’re the bad guys! So I’m glad they’re working to get in and out undetected. Granted, we see in some places that they’re clearly willing to fight the soldiers if it comes to that—they’re reaching for their weapons when Penny opens the final door, expecting the room to be full of people. They were going to attack—but at least they’re trying to lessen that conflict as much as possible. That’s the sort of choice I expect to see from heroes and I’m glad we got it here.

After scouting the area Penny corrects May: “And my name is Penny,” to which Ruby gives a satisfied “Heh.” I’ve got no problem with Penny rejecting nicknames, even potentially well-meaning ones, because she’s always struggled with her status as a real girl and her name is her own. She gets to decide what others call her. I do, however, have a problem with making the presumed trans character the one who is corrected. Granted yes, we haven’t gotten confirmation in the show that May is trans, but RT doesn’t get to cash in on that rep without likewise suffering the consequences for how the character is treated. You’re telling me that a trans woman is going to roll her eyes when someone asks her to use a specific name? Please give May flaws, yes, she’s a person, but out of all the millions of flaws across the human spectrum, this is the one we’re shown?

Not to mention Ruby’s continued attitude. It’s like, ‘Yeah, May. Stop being a horrible person who draws attention to the fact that Penny is a robot. I never did that.’ Except when Ruby first met her she didn’t know Penny was a robot. Just like she didn’t know Blake was a faunus—something we’re reminded of this episode. We might assume Ruby wouldn’t have ever made any missteps at the beginning of these relationships, but the fact remains that she got to know both girls before their minority status was ever revealed. Ruby loved them before she ever had to grapple with their differences.

Put in her place, May then demonstrates that she can make lots of people invisible, not just herself. That’s handy. She creates an invisibility bubble that reminds me of Harry’s invisibility cloak. In the sense that others might not be able to see you, but they can still hear and touch you, which makes sneaking around still pretty challenging.

No sooner have I thought that then two guards get into the elevator with them. The group keeps quiet as the duo discusses how no one can get close to Salem’s storm without “getting shocked right out of the air.” Interesting. And frankly one hell of a roadblock if the Hound escapes into the clouds. Oscar may be gone for a while if he doesn’t escape on his own... The woman also comments about how creepy it is that all the grimm are just hanging out, waiting. It’s “worse than if they’d attacked.”

No it’s not! RT, stop trying to implement the idea that Salem withholding her forces is some epically cool choice. She should have decimated everyone by now and the fact that she hasn’t just shows how transparent the problem is: you’ve created a villain that’s too powerful and now you don’t know what to do with her.

As the group sneaks out of the elevator Nora grins and presses all the buttons, which is, as expected, a dumb move. They’re supposed to be sneaking into this base. If they’re caught they’re going to be thrown in jail at best, killed at worst, but Nora wants to risk that for a practical joke? Again and again we see this insistence on incorporating comedy where it’s not only unnecessary, but actively interferes with other aspects of the scene.

Reaching a terminal, Penny inserts her finger and gains access via Pietro’s credentials. She’s really demonstrating this episode why she’s… pretty terrifying? I mean, Penny is an incredibly powerful fighter with a computer’s view of the world, access to everything in the most powerful Kingdom alongside its information, and she now has Maiden powers to boot. Which, I should add, it took her one fight to master (because remember, the heroes are now always as strong as they need to be to win…). Now that Watts is planning to hack her, I expect her to be an incredibly formidable enemy, just given the amount she could potentially do. I think Penny herself is too kind to exploit all that potential and as we’ll see via Pietro briefly taking control, she doesn’t always have the knowledge to use the tools at her disposal. But in the hands of someone like Watts? He’ll turn Penny into the ultimate weapon.

Access granted, they learn that they have to go “Right through central command!” Of course, Penny makes it sound like a fun game and the spy-movie music/cartoon lecture doesn’t help. Again, tone. It’s adorable! It just doesn’t fit sneaking into a military base with your lives on the line while Salem waits outside. That was a RWBY Chibi moment.

Penny explains—twice—that Ruby can use her semblance to fly them all through central command and it’s treated like a revelation. At first, I was pretty confused because Ruby has been dong this for ages? She carried Weiss in “Argus Limited” and Nora during the Geist fight. But upon close inspection, what Penny seems to have “figured out” is that Ruby can carry multiple people at once because the “mass doesn’t matter.” Okay. Not a contradiction then, though I think RT could have made it a little more clear that Ruby was shocked at the idea of carrying multiple people, not carrying someone at all.

What I do take issue with though is Ruby mastering this skill instantaneously. I mean, why is Ruby being forced to try this on the fly (pun not intended)—Penny has known the layout of the building since they made this plan. She knew they had to get past central control and that it would be packed with people. She’s obviously thought about Ruby’s semblance a great deal—and why is she succeeding? Give me a Volume 7 where Ruby actually trains in this technique, set up via Harriet’s comment early on about her semblance, and then she’s victorious here when it finally matters. Or give me Ruby assuming she can pull off this incredibly difficult skill only to fall out of her semblance halfway through, a roomful of Atlas personnel staring at them. Then what?

Not this.

This is a character who does everything perfectly on the first try without ever having to fail. Ruby is boring like this.

Crisis averted, we transfer to Ironwood who is… working with Watts.

What else is there to say? I’ve already laid out all the reasons why this is stupid and makes no sense. Others keep coming onto my posts to explain to me how Ironwood’s awful deeds up until now fully show his decent into villainy, conveniently ignoring the numerous limitations he was under and his choice to do what he thought was best for the world using inaccurate information. Ironwood was always a divisive character and many are happy to ignore the years’ worth of deconstruction done—a man who looks like the Evil Military General but actually isn’t—because they never liked him to begin with. Not liking him is fine, no one has to like any character, but I’m honestly shocked by the number of viewers who refuse to acknowledge how bad the writing is, even if it means defending a character they hate a teensy tiny bit (#SupernaturalVibes). As a friend put it, Ironwood now feels like a caricature of his former self, a Pure Evil Ironwood who appeared out of nowhere and is now here to stay. He shoots kids. He shoots unarmed civilians. He teams up with Salem’s men and tries to hack Penny. These are undeniably horrible acts, they’ve just been given to a character who never would have done them until RT randomly flipped the Evil switch.

The “RWBY” tag, alongside all the fluff moments of this episode, is now filled with posts encouraging Marrow to turn, yelling at the Ace Ops for being “bootlickers,” and capslock screaming at anyone who dared to speak up for Ironwood. It still sucks to have bad writing twisted into an attack on the fans and it’s going to continue to suck until at least the rest of Volume 8. I’d like to again remind everyone that Qrow teamed up with Tyrian a few episodes, yet because he’s again in Ruby’s graces, that was twisted into a ‘not that bad’ situation. The issue isn’t really that Ironwood is teaming up with one of Salem’s subordinates, but that he’s doing it to go against RWBYJNOR… the second a character teams up with Salem to get what Ruby wants (to not have her team in jail) then that’s totally fine… but that’s a wrinkle a lot of people are happy to ignore.

So yeah, Ironwood is an idiot now too. Like Qrow also was last Volume. He really thinks Watts isn’t going to betray him somehow? Although, I do wonder if the chance to ruin Pietro’s creation outweighs his loyalty to Salem, but the point is that Ironwood can’t be sure of that either. At least he’s smart enough to keep Watts under continuous guard. He puts his hand on Watts’ shoulders and goes, “I’d hate for us to have to try motivating you. Again.”

So he tortures people too now? Like I said, caricature. This was Ironwood and we were given no clear idea of where he disappeared to.

RIP a great character.

Watts notices though that Pietro has apparently accessed a secure area and alerts Ironwood to it. I laugh that the information is just ¡EMERGENCY! In large, red letters. Ironwood immediately makes an announcement for everyone to be on guard. It’s a level 3 lockdown — that won’t impede the group leaving via airship! — and they’re to use “lethal force” if necessary. Weiss is disgusted.

As much as I disagree with making Ironwood into a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy — he’s definitely wrong to be doing this — I also find myself rolling my eyes at reactions like that. Yes, Weiss. You attacked four operatives until they were knocked unconscious. Prevented an entire city from escaping Salem’s wrath, endangering them all. Now you’re breaking into the most classified room in the Kingdom to steal an equally qualified project and use it for your own means. There’s no reason why Ironwood would level his might against you. Is death still an extreme response? Yes. Should Weiss be acting like Ironwood is crazy for responding to them in an extreme manner? No. Her remark makes it sound like Ironwood is attacking her poor, innocent, defenseless team… not the team that’s been lying to him, betraying him, attacking him, and stealing from him. Not the team carrying deadly weapons into a facility to take what they want at any cost.

With their presence known, May wants to go grab an airship. That’s the series now.

Meanwhile, Penny insists that they can still complete their mission and we see Nora come up with some sort of plan.

Except, what plan was this?? What did she say to the group? ‘Hey, let’s wait around until some guy conveniently walks by with a full cup of coffee. Then we can trip him and the mug will fly alllll the way across this gap to land on a terminal, startling at least two workers. Except this guy will be hated by the whole room because he’s always messing things up—his coffee mug has been changed from #1 Dad to #1 Dud—so that this little mishap will create a ruckus that gets everyone involved, giving us the opportunity to slip by them all.’

Seriously, what? This kind of “plan” only works with someone like Clover, where we know he has a good luck semblance and thus all these unlikely pieces fall into place. I could absolutely buy Clover smiling smugly, working under the knowledge that he just has to wait around a few minutes and something will come along that works entirely in his favor. But Nora? How did she know any of this would happen? Obviously she couldn’t have, so what exactly was their intention if this coffee carrying, hated guy didn’t show up? RWBY, your contrived plots are showing.

I do, however, love the grimm Jaws poster. Jaws is an absolute favorite of mine, so seeing a reference to it in RWBY? A funny one at that? It almost makes up for how bad this episode is lol.

Because frankly I’m bored. The group sneaks around, criticizes May and Ironwood, briefly confuses me about Ruby’s semblance knowledge, and gets through tons of Atlas personnel in the stupidest way possible. I have to watch this guy running out of the room with coffee on his pants screaming, “WHHHYYY???” and he doesn’t notice the five girls standing right next to him. It’s silly. It’s boring. Luckily for RWBY, things are about to pick up in the second half.

After Ruby gets them upstairs and the final room is also conveniently devoid of people, Pietro takes control of Penny—including yellow possession eyes like Oscar has with Ozpin—and he...gets Amity started. That’s it. After a whole volume of ‘It’s not finished yet’ and ‘We barely have the resources’ and ‘Robyn stole what we were using to do idek what with’ he presses buttons for a while and they’re in. How good for them!

I do love that Penny calls Pietro “Dad” though. I’m here for the android-father relationship.

While Pietro works we turn to Blake, Weiss, and Nora. Blake tries to convince the audience that Ruby and Yang had an actual fight with, “I’ve never seen Yang and Ruby fight like this.” Yeah, because no one in this group has ever said the sliiiiightest thing against Ruby, so you all read the tinniest disagreement as a “fight” to be worried about. I mean, doesn’t RT have friends to draw inspiration from? They’ve never disagreed about Huge and Complex Questions before? Never gotten pissed and then shrugged it off the next time you want to text? RWBY’s idea of a diverse friend group feels like many other writers’ idea of a sibling relationship: anyone with an actual sibling goes, “What is this?” Speaking of, Weiss explains that sisters often have “very different ideas about what’s right” as if, again, people don’t have different ideas? Just in general? Why is this suddenly a sister thing? She’s clearly thinking about Winter, but doesn’t actually bring it up, so all we’re left with is the same situation we had last Volume. Weiss thinks she’s right, Winter is wrong, and they’re just going down their separate roads because there’s definitely no reason to re-examine any choices here. It’s all static.

Until Winter betrays Ironwood, of course.

Nora tries to reassure Blake that the group will be fine (ha) even though they’ve split, the irony being that we, the audience, know they just got wrecked by the Hound. Jaune is a great leader though, Oscar has grown so much, Yang could defend them all in a fight, and Ren… well, she can’t think of anything to say about Ren. I hate the Nora is acting like Ren has drawn away from her for no reason, after she chose to kiss him—without consent—rather than listening to what was bothering him, then proceeded to pretend that this mystery problem never existed. What does she expect? I do, however, like the general acknowledgement that she doesn’t know who she is without Ren. Who is Nora? Someone who is “strong and hit[s] stuff?”

See, this feels like RT writing self-consciously because Nora doesn’t have much of a personality. Oh, on a surface level she’s bursting with it, but past the bubbly exterior? That single layer? We can add maybe one thing to this “Likes Ren, is strong, hits stuff” list: she’s funny. That’s it. Anything else we might add like “she’s loyal” or “she’s kind” is just a generic characteristic of this entire team. They’re all meant to be crazy talented good guys and even the “is strong” aspect is suspect when others frequently pull off attacks as showy as Nora’s hammer hits. So who is she? What are Nora’s dreams? What are her hobbies? Her fears? Her history? We’ve seen a single flashback of her on the streets and one scene back at Beacon where she listens to music and reads a magazine. Seven years worth of material and that’s it. There’s a reason why the go-to, non-combat action for Nora in fics is “makes pancakes.” We know so little about her still.

So I was excited for a brief, shining moment. Yes! Explore who Nora is outside of being strong and hitting stuff! … and then her big action this episode is, as she says, being strong and hitting something. Don’t get me wrong, outside of that setup it’s pretty epic. I like Nora going to those lengths to save Penny and I absolutely love the repercussions of the choice: a broken aura, passing out, and badass lightning scars all over her arms and neck (especially when women often aren’t allowed to accumulate scars in visual media). That’s pretty damn awesome. It’s just that it comes on the heels of the story insisting that Nora is more than this, that we’ll learn something new about her… and we haven’t. This is indeed cool, but we already knew that Nora was willing to crazy lengths by hitting things really hard. That’s already her established norm.

At least this moment has some really nice characterization alongside the stupidity. The conversation between Ruby and Penny is just plain stupid. Penny wants to stay to help with the evacuations, but Pietro says she should come with him in Amity. Why? As Ruby says, because then she’ll be up in the sky and Salem won’t be able to access the relic.

That’s what Ironwood wanted to do! We could have had this conflict episodes ago with you all working with him! I really can’t with this cast. Also, the rest of this is still confusing. I thought pretty much everyone was in the slums by now, so what evacuation are they talking about? Do they plan to evacuate everyone in Mantle out of the kingdom somehow… like Ironwood wanted to do with Atlas? And why are they acting like Amity is evacuating some people too? I thought they were just using it as a communication device? To add insult to injury, Ruby then contradicts herself a minute later when she tells Harriet that Ironwood can’t have the relic because “Salem will find her way to the relic no matter where you go.” Ruby, if Salem can access the relic high in the sky she can also access Penny in the sky. If you believe that literally nowhere is safe then why are you sending Penny away under the claim that she—and via her the Relic—will be safer? If you want Penny in Amity to lessen the chance of Salem getting the Relic, why can’t Penny be in Atlas while simultaneously (hopefully) getting a whole slew of people to safety?

I’m continually confused by this “plan” of theirs. Their claims just flip-flop according to what (supposedly) contrasts them with Ironwood. Even though that’s not actually the case.

Penny is me, sad while watching this train wreck of a scene.

So yeah, the Ace Ops are here. I’ve wondered since the trailer why Weiss looked smug while everyone else was startled. Turns out it’s because of her line, “So, your first time losing to us wasn’t enough?” I can’t express how much I dislike all the girls’ personalities now. I want to shake some compassion and humility into them. Plus, they never should have won that fight in the first place. Marrow yells, “We were holding back!” but coming from the team’s weakest member it reads as defensive. Like we’re supposed to go, ‘Lol yeah right, Marrow. Just admit you got your ass kicked,’ even tough the Ace Ops should have wiped the floor with them, holding back or not. That’s my biggest takeaway from this fight: it��s the reverse of what we should have gotten. The Ace Ops should have beaten Team RWBY with ease and struggled greatly against an android Maiden, not falling before a bunch of teens and succeeding against Penny if not for Nora’s timely breakthrough. Your half-trained cast of growing heroes should not come across as more powerful than an intelligently designed weapon now wielding magic.

Before the fight starts we get a whole lot of lines that are, frankly, frustrating. Vine tells Penny, “I thought you were supposed to protect the people, not hurt them” which is true enough. Penny is taking action that is putting a lot of people in danger, regardless of the fact that Ruby is at the helm. Problem is, the Ace Ops then blame her for Winter’s injuries and “stealing” the power? That’s not the issue here. The issue is Penny’s blind loyalty to Ruby, but by having the Ace Ops back a stance that is clearly inaccurate—Penny didn’t cause Winter’s injuries, Cinder did; Penny didn’t steal the powers, she was encouraged to take them—it makes them come across as Very Evil people who will twist things to make poor Penny look like the villain. Even if this is a case of Ace Ops having bad intel (which seems unlikely. Wouldn’t Winter have told them what happened?) RT has avoided letting the Ace Ops take a justified stance here because that would make them look too sympathetic… even though they do have multiple justified stances to take. Like, ‘Hey, stop keeping half a kingdom here where Salem can easily kill them all’ or, ‘Hey, why did you spend months betraying Ironwood and then turn on us instead of trying to find a compromise?’ Even, ‘Why did your uncle help kill our leader?’ There’s plenty that the Ace Ops should be rightfully pissed about, so choosing Penny and Winter out of everything feels like RT is firmly backing them into Ironwood’s corner: you’re just bad now and bad people blame innocent girls, rather than acknowledging the actual wrongs done against them.

So we have Ruby contradicting herself and the Ace Ops backing warped ideas that make them look worse than they actually are. Adding to the stupidity is the fact that Elm mentions that Winter is in “critical condition” and Weiss… doesn’t care. Harriet then tells Ruby that she’s “throwing [her] in jail right next to your uncle, runt” and... Ruby doesn’t care. Qrow is missing and Ruby just found out he’s been captured by Ironwood, yet there’s no reaction whatsoever. This show continues to go hard on the ‘screw adults’ mentality, huh? Ozpin needs to keep quiet and is horrible for coming back. Ironwood is now a cartoon villain. Winter made the wrong choice so no one cares about her anymore, not even her sister. The Ace Ops remain enemies despite trying to talk things out. Qrow? Barely know him. Who’s he? This is a Ruby loves Penny episode. There isn’t enough emotional nuance for her to care about him too.

The sad thing is I adore Nuts&Dolts. In a different context these moments would be a goldmine for me.

If anything, this episode feels worse than the majority of last week’s because there are good things here that have been thrown into a bad setup. I can’t get excited for the group’s battles when I see who they’re attacking. It’s hard to squee over Ruby hugging Penny when she doesn’t react to Qrow. Watching Nora go all Thor feels like it only has half its potential when it’s coming out of a very messing, ‘I’m more than just being strong and hitting things… which is why I’ll continue being strong and hitting things.’ RWBY has excellent moments set into a terrible story.

The fight, at least, is exciting. The Ace Ops goad Penny into stepping away so they can trap the rest of Ruby’s team—smart—and she’s forced to hold her own while Weiss tries to break through with her knight, then Nora overloads the system. To be frank, I’m not great at analyzing combat. Not unless I’m looking for something specific like whether a win is justified. I’ve already mentioned above the broad issue of the Ace Ops very nearly beating the most powerful fighter next to Salem herself, yet failing so spectacularly against Team RWBY. Outside of that context though? I really enjoyed this. Lots of tight action, creative attacks, teamwork, some emotional pauses throughout… it feels like a pretty solid battle. Put it on Youtube as a clip, outside of the rest of the story’s messiness, and you’ve got yourself a fantastic watch.

We can’t stay in the combat forever though. During all this Weiss calls the Ace Ops “cowards” for making it four vs. one. You know, RWBY should really just do away with dialogue and make the show purely action because the cast frequently sounds so stupid when they speak. Like her comment about Ironwood’s lockdown… really Weiss? ‘Yes, we might be wanted criminals who betrayed this group in the worst possible way, but how dare they not do the honorable thing and have three of their teammates sit out while trying to capture us? Even though the girl they’re trying to capture has magic. I mean, the nerve of them!’

Weiss, at this point I’m not sure how to explain to you that the people you’ve made into your enemies do not owe you a fair fight.

Another detail: we get to see Ruby fall off the edge of the walkway and this time she remembers she can fly! A definite improvement from Volume 6.

Finally: by the time Penny’s eyes go full Maiden in Elm’s grip, I think we’ve seen everything from our trailer. Episode 4 will truly be a mystery.

Ironwood has, of course, been watching the fight this whole time. When it looks like the Ace Ops will lose against the team he means to send in reinforcements, but Watts says he has “a message for your operatives.” Instead of capturing Penny they steal one of her swords instead, ending with a shot on Marrow looking conflicted.

Because remember, there’s no actual moral grayness in this story. The protagonists are right and everyone else is wrong. It’s (supposedly) black and white. Which means that if the Ace Ops have any hope of surviving this Volume and being seen as anything other than evil bootlickers, they have to join with Ruby. Marrow seems primed to do that.

Am I surprised? No. Disappointed? Always lol.

May has the airship ready to go and they fly off… despite the shields. And the lockdown. Consistency? Who’s she? Nora is said to be “in bad shape” and after another hug Penny leaves to hide in Amity, even though Ruby thinks that hiding is a useless, cowardly choice. Just not when she and her allies choose to do it.

We end the episode with Watts receiving Penny’s sword and making the statement, “If you can’t beat them… then make them join you.” I have to say, his cheesy villainy is something I continue to enjoy, even if it’s heavy handed at times. Watts is just fun. I do have to say though: if Penny is hacked, what does that say about her agency? We double-downed on the ‘real girl’ narrative by giving her the Maiden powers, but she’s simultaneously synthetic enough that a single piece of her can remove all autonomy? It once again feels like RT isn’t sure what point they’re trying to make, they’re just chucking a lot of themes at the wall and seeing what sticks. Still, we’ll have to let it all play out before making any judgements.

And that’s it for this week. It seems like this is a slightly shorter recap than normal, though that may be because I struggle with discussing pure action sequences, which made up a decent chunk of this episode. I’ll no doubt return to the Ace Ops vs. Penny fight when I’m not on a self-imposed, one day deadline for posting. The only thing left is to update the Bingo Card, but I don’t think we made any headway this week. So... good job, RWBY?

I’m still going to hold off on the civilian’s square until Salem’s army actually attacks, as well as the two day timeline square.

No Winter this episode

Watts is teaming up with Ironwood which is… so much worse than him teaming up with Jacques again. Does a square get an X if the canon is even worse than what you assumed it would be??

Maria was mentioned this episode. Jury’s out on whether she’ll actually do anything.

Atlas is still standing, we knew Penny was heading towards a hack so it’s not much of a cliffhanger, no Qrow, no Ozpin, no Neo or Cinder.

It certainly looks like we can check off “The team gets Amity up and running,” but let’s just see if there are any problems next episode. If the problem is only ‘We would have launched it if not for Salem’s attack’ or something, I’m checking it off. The point is it would have worked.

I’m also leaning towards “More obvious Blake/Yang implications without confirming a relationship” given Blake’s heart-to-heart with Nora… but let’s see if the Volume does anything more egregious.

All in all (and perhaps despite what I’ve written above), I don’t think it’s fair to totally drag this episode. As said, this feels like a strong episode in a bad story, something that I would have LOVED if a) Salem weren’t here and b) the ‘ethical dilemma’ wasn’t boiled down to a ‘Team Ruby is good’ and ‘Ironwood and everyone associated with him is evil’ situation. It’s an episode whose tone and character action belong in a different version of RWBY. If you gave us this fun episode in an earlier Volume against a Pure Evil antagonist? It would have been great.

Ah well. It is what it is. Expect more emotional whiplash when we come back and everyone learns that Oscar has been kidnapped by Salem’s talking pooch 🙃

See you then! 💜

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby strings #mymetas #rwby recaps #apologies if this Recap is messier than normal #I have a zoom meeting in five minutes lol #gotta go fast!

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gildedmuse · 4 years

Text

Anonymous asked:

do you like any of the one piece manga colorspreads? if yes, which ones?

(Apparently you cannot answer questions more than once which seems like a flaw. People can always change their mind.

Let's see, where did I leave off? Oh that's right. the Strawhats are a acid punk rock band now . So the obvious next step is...

Devil Fruit's Angels

That's right, in this universe the Strawhats aren't marauders of the sea. They're marauders of the open road.

Look at this badass biker gang. And I'm not abbreviating for motorcycles. Luffy heard there were such a thing as a biker gang and took it very literally. Best of all, he got eight people to go along with this.

Eventually, he accidentally tore the bottom wheel rim from his bike, the Going Merry, but then they met Franky and since he was unaware of Luffy's stupidity innocence at this time, he built him an actual damn motorcycle. Zoro painted the sidecar to look like a shark (okay technically Usopp did the painting and Zoro bitched about it but he loves it if anyone scratches that paint job they immediately find themselves with their blades in their face). He just lays there, sleeping, sometimes doing weights while letting Luffy drive a fucking motorcycle.

Love that Nami weighed up her choices and her and Robin decide to ride with Usopp. Let's face it, he is easily the most responsible rider. Well, that's why Nami choose him. Chopper has two designated seats: Usopp's basket and Zoro's lap. So of course Robin has to sit where she can see Chopper.

Also, LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE CHOPPER IS IN A BASKET.

Brook seems to be riding a penny farthing which is pretty amazing. He probably just had one in his garage from his youth. Sanji has wisely decided to ride backwards bitchseat so that smoke doesn't fly back in his own face. I am unable to see what Franky is driving. I assume his bottom half turns into a motorcycle. I mean why not?

The Strawhat Gang does pretty much the exact same shit they do as Pirates. I mean, Luffy even falls into water just as often. How? It's Luffy that's how.

Law's little group of anarchist ride around in a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. Fight me.

Winter Wonder Island

IS THAT PENGUIN WEARING ZORO'S HARAMAKI? HOW DID HE GET IT? DIES ZORO KNOW? DID HE GIVE OT TO HIM? DID ZORO THINK THE PENGUIN'S BELLY MIGHT BE COLD?

I love Nami and Chopper playing, though Chopper looks less pleased. Plus the polar bear and Luffy are just the same person/bear. And nothing can convince me Robin isn't currently getting a back massage by a walrus. That is how my bitch roles.

The Straw Helmets

And we're back to the AUs.

Total honesty time: I picked this less put of love (though I enjoy most the AU ones) and more to annoy a friend.. See, I know many a Norwegian. They are a super nice country, you guys.

Who get super pissed at popular depictions of Vikings. Which are wrong.

And yet this particular reimagining is so wrong it's like gone full circle. I mean it's still nowhere near accurate but damn is it awesome. Are they riding walruses? Oda knows the Vikings had horses, right? And reindeer?

And yet he's gone with the well known domestic walrus. Huh. It's a choice.

Honestly, Franky and Usopp's costumes look more gladiator than Viking (also, I know you are a pervert Franky, but you literally gonna die of hypothermia.) Chopper is apparently one of those famous Japaness Vikings based on his costume design while Luffy is wearing something I can 100% imagine Doflamingo owned at some point. And Zoro....

Well, there is a reason I have a tag called Zoro's sense of direction and/or fashion. Look at that thing. That is a mess. I love it.

Get Wet

Nami, babe, me, Brook, Sanji, and apparently Robin a appreciate how sexy you're being right now.

But all I see is Zoro's damn fine back with water forming little riblets around his muscles. Also, love the boy's smile as he watches Luffy. He totally knows what's about to go down and thinks it's fucking hilarious.

They Call It The Grand Line

Every member of the coward trio (plus guest member Brook) is freaking the fuck out and I love it. Chopper and Nami are cling to one another, Brook's soul has left his body, and I'm pretty certain Usopp has half climbed into the seat in front of him to grab Zoro. Which I cannot blame him for.

Meanwhile, Robin is watching this whole spectacle with mild amusement, Sanji is straight up grilling... While on the back of a rollar coaster, Franky is chowing down on some of that food and Zoro... Zoro is getting drunk. On a rollar coaster.

The only one who seems to be having any fun is Luffy, sitting, of course, on his special seat. Look at that kid, he's having a blast. Well now we know how all the other Strawhats ended up here.

A Game Of Chicken

There's a lot I could say about this picture, but all I'm going to say is this: Zoro is clearly riding a weird ass chocobo.

What else can beat that?

Pirate Olympics: Where Everyone Is Winner Wanted Man

Oh, look, it's another AU one!

Look, over all, everyone has a sport that is either well suited to them (except maybe Brook. I mean soccer? Really? Not, like short distance sprinting since he's the fastest strawhat or fencing? If it were winter he could participate in the skeleton - yohohoho!).

Let's just amire Zoro playing baseball THREE BAT STYLE. LIke a goddamn boss.

You Know What's Awesome? Drugs.

It doesn't even matter what's going on in this one, it's goddamn beautiful.

Just Another Sunny Day

[You know when I said I haven't read the manga yet? Well, also terrible with visual images - the world should be in words in my opinion. So this, it turns out, is not a colorspread but fanart by the very talented Frayten who I deeply apologize to for not crediting earlier. I'm keeping it though, because it's amazing art, it's been reblogged and at least now it's properly credit on the main post. Many thanks to @blueriza to for being a better fan than I am.]

I really enjoy this little switch up. I want to believe it isn't just Law fucking with them but they've all inhaled some kind of mind switching pollen of something. So one day Law just came out to find Robin making breakfast and heart eyes at all the men, Sanji eating nothing but meet and bouncing around like he was made of rubber, Franky trying to play the violin, Chopper taling wild stories about when he was captain, Usopp training for a couple hours before passing out, Brook worrying over everyone's health, Nami striking posed while talking about how SUPER it all is, and Luffy, for once in his life, perfectly calm as he sits there reading.

That would be hilarious but, yeah, obviously it was Law. Look at how Nami Zoro is threatening him. She know exactly who pulled this shit. And look at Law's smug little smirk.

Hey, you suppose Law flirted with Nami Zoro? I know it's Nami but she's still got Zoro's abs and ass. Just throwing that out there.

#the strawhats with heart #ask and you shall receive #one piece manga #one piece colorspread #one piece crossover #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law #roronoa zoro #cyborg franky #monkey d. luffy #tony tony chopper #nico robin #sanji vinsmoke #nami #usopp #one piece #one piece au

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writingblock101 · 5 years

Text

For the Kingdom (Jason Todd x Reader)

Remember that one time I wrote a one-part Jason Todd fic? Good times. Anyways, I’m back on my bullshit. This is inspired by headcanons written by @jaybirdxarsenal. Keep an eye out for part 2!

Warnings: Mentions of sex and rape

Word Count: 4,200

Tags: @idkmanicantenglish

You’ve been told your wedding day would be the happiest day of your life, so why are you dreadfully staring at yourself in the mirror, terrified to face your fiance at the altar?

“You look beautiful,” Your mother tells you.

You glare at her and say nothing.

The argument isn’t even worth your breath anymore. Your family’s kingdom is falling apart, so when they found out the Todd-Wayne kingdom needed an heir, they jumped at the opportunity, offering their daughter, of course, without asking you. Your mother keeps claiming that it’s for your protection, but don’t believe her. They don’t want to lose their royal status, no matter the cost.

She sighs, knowing the argument swirling in your head.

“Go on, your father is waiting for you.”

You wordlessly join your father, glaring holes into the doors in front of you. A grand piano plays behind the doors and your heart beats faster.

“You look beautiful,” Your father smiles, taking your arm.

“Thanks,” You mutter, too nervous to be snappy.

You’ve never met Jason, but you’ve heard plenty of tales about him. He’s terrifying, ruthless, and unforgiving. Jason has destroyed kingdoms, slaughtered villages, and ruined lives, yet, he is your soon to be husband.

You’re most scared for tonight.

To fully “sanctify” your matrimony, you had to have sex. You’ve never had sex. You’ve kissed people and made out, but to have sex with a complete stranger? You’re terrified.

What if you get too nervous? What if it hurts? What if you don’t want to? Will he force you? Jason needs an heir and you can provide. Why wouldn’t he force you? He could easily force you. You don’t want it to hurt, but you know it will if he forces you, so it would be easier to not fight back right? It would be easier to just let him--

“Are you ready?” Your father asks, tearing you away from your quickly spiraling thoughts.

You clench your jaw, setting your shoulders.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” You roll your eyes then the doors open, revealing your future husband standing at the altar.

You raise your chin, refusing to show your fear and slowly step with your father to the altar. Once you reach the altar, your father kisses your cheek, places your veil over your face, and hands you off to Jason.

Jason is huge with broad shoulders, muscular arms, and gigantic legs to match. It’s no wonder he’s such a threat in battle-- this man was born to fight. You turn to face each other, his huge hands holding yours.

His jaw is clenched as he stares straight ahead, barely looking at you. You hope he can’t feel your hands shaking. He’ll take advantage of how nervous you are if you openly show it. You take a deep breath, trying to shove any thoughts about tonight or the stories you’ve heard about Jason to the back of your mind.

You hear yourself say “I do” and Jason repeats it back, then it’s time to end the ceremony with a kiss. Jason lifts your veil and there’s an awkward pause. His hands rest on your hips and you tentatively raise your hands to his shoulders then he leans in. The kiss is brief, just barely brushing your lips together, then you’re whisked away for the reception.

His lips were surprisingly soft.

You don’t speak to each other for the rest of the wedding festivities. Instead, you busy yourself with being a good daughter and diplomat by speaking with various royalty and officers. You’re terrified of Jason, especially since his jaw has yet to unclench since the ceremony.

Dread builds in your stomach as you step out of your wedding dress into a shorter dress that hugs your sides. You guess you were going to lose your virginity tonight, whether you wanted to or not.

You feel a lump form in your throat as you begin to tear up, but you quickly blink back any tears when your mother knocks on the door and takes you the Todd-Wayne kingdom, your new home. She opens the door to the master suit, revealing Jason sitting on the bed, untying his tie from the ceremony. Your mother kisses your cheek, ushers you into the room, then shuts the door, leaving you alone with Jason for the first time.

“Um… Hi,” He clears his throat, slowly looking up at you.

“Hi…” You respond quietly, lacing your shaking fingers behind your back.

“I uh... I know this isn’t an... ideal situation…” Jason trails off, scratching the back of his head. “I was actually pretty pissed when Bruce told me…”

You wish he would just rip the band-aid off. He needs an heir and you can provide. Who cares whether you consent? You doubt he gives a damn.

“But… Maybe we can… Make the most of it…?”

You swallow, your heart pounding in your ears.

“Yeah, of course,” You hear yourself say, your eyes beginning to well up.

You quickly blink back the tears, taking a shaky breath. You desperately wished he would just get this over with and put you out of your misery.

Jason frowns.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” You manage, voice thick.

“You don’t look fine…”

“I…” You shakily start then take a breath. “Look, we both know what’s going to happen tonight so can we please just get it over with?! I know you need an heir, I mean that’s why I’m here so just drop the act because I know you don’t give a damn whether I want it or not.”

A tear slips out, but you brush it away hastily. Jason’s face falls.

“I don’t want that…” He says quietly, then his eyes widen. “I mean, I--I do! You’re… beautiful, but… I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with… I don’t want to force you.”

You stare at him in disbelief. He’s not going to… force you? Jason looks at the floor, scratching the back of his head then sighs and stands up. He doesn’t miss the way you flinch.

“I’m going to go… Take a shower,” He walks to the bathroom, but pauses, resting his hand on the handle. “Were you worried about that… All night?”

You hesitate, but then slowly nod your head. Jason sighs, his shoulders slumping, then he steps into the bathroom without another word.

Is he angry? Should I have lied? Would he even have believed me? I should’ve kept my mouth shut, what was I thinking?! He’s going to change his mind. After that outburst, there’s no way he wouldn’t change his mind.

You sink to the floor, tears freely falling. At this point, you’re not sure if it’s out of relief or lingering fear that Jason will change his mind. You look toward the bathroom door, knowing Jason could step out at any minute. Don’t let him see you like this. Don’t let him know how afraid you are. Don’t give him power.

You wipe your face and take a shuddering breath, then force yourself to your feet and to your bag. After a little digging, you find a pair of pajamas, change, then climb in bed. You stare at the ceiling, your heart pounding in anticipation. What if Jason changed his mind? What if he waits until you’re asleep? What if--

The bathroom door opens. You shut your eyes, pretending to sleep. Jason shuffles around the room for a few minutes then shuts the light off and climbs into bed. You hear him take a breath like he’s going to speak, but instead, he sighs and rolls over.

You wait to feel it-- a hand, a mouth, a bruising grip, anything.

But it never comes.

Instead, you listen in dreadful anticipation, but only hear the slow sound of Jason’s breath evening out as he falls asleep. He never touches you. He hardly even shifts in his sleep. At some point, you drift off then you wake up to an empty bed and sunlight filtering through the curtains.

A clock on the wall reads 9:43 AM, but before you are left to wonder what you’re supposed to do in this completely unfamiliar kingdom, someone knocks on the door. The man at the door introduces himself as Alfred and offers to bring you to the dining room for breakfast. Once getting dressed, Alfred escorts you to the huge dining room where you have a simple, but lovely breakfast.

“Master Jason is in a strategy meeting and he apologizes for not being here to show you the kingdom; however, he requested that I give you a tour.”

At first, you feel relieved that Jason is busy, but that is quickly followed by guilt. While the circumstances regarding your marriage are frustrating, Jason proved last night that he wants to make you as comfortable as possible. Until he gets impatient.

“That would be lovely,” You smile, then follow Alfred out of the dining room.

. . .

“Wow, Jay, I’m surprised to see you here this early,” Dick greets with a knowing smirk.

Jason ignores him, continuing to look over the recent list of casualties from the last battle.

“Ah, come on, Jaybird,” Dick groans dramatically. “Don’t ignore me! You’ve got to be in a great mood after last night.”

Jason glares at him then turns to Tim.

“Where did Dent’s armies retreat to?”

“We think further north, near Hell’s Kitchen,” Tim answers. “But they won’t get far before they’re edging into Murdock’s or Jones' territory.”

“We need to keep them south,” Jason narrows his eyes at the map. “How much control does Cage still have over Harlem?”

Tim frowns.

“Not much. Things have been weird since he left Jones’ territory. He’s not quite the same.”

“So much for using him to push Dent back,” Jason mutters, looking over other territories north of Gotham.

“Come on, Jay, we’ve got hours to talk about strategy,” Dick rolls his eyes.

“Good thing we have a lot of shit to figure out.”

Dick stares at the map for a long moment then says:

“Castle is still in Murdock’s territory. He’s been itching for something to do and a way to get the kingdom off his ass. Now, tell me about last night.”

Castle, fuck that’s a good idea.

“Why are you so interested in my sex life?” Jason snaps.

“I don’t just mean just mean the sex,” Dick insists. “The only person I’ve ever seen you get close to dating was Artemis and now you’re married!”

“Cause it was arranged,” Jason mutters.

“Still a marriage,” Dick points out.

“I don’t understand Father’s obsession with marrying you off,” Damian mutters.

“Apparently, I need an heir,” Jason grumbles.

“You’re not dying any time soon,” Damian raises his eyebrows.

“Well, with the amount of fights you’re picking, you might be,” Tim remarks.

Jason glares at him.

“I’m cleaning up the kingdom,” He snaps. “Bruce let half of these people run around for way too long.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tim rolls his eyes. “Anyways, how did that whole “making an heir” thing go?”

“You too?” Jason groans.

“We’re not going to get anything done until you answer Dick,” Tim shrugs.

“Tim is curious too,” Dick rolls Tim under the bus.

Tim whips his head around to glare at Dick.

“Traitor,” He mutters.

“Come on, Jaybird, just tell us about it! I told you about me and Babs!”

Jason tightens his jaw and he continues to stare at the map, ignoring his brothers. He can feel Tim’s calculating eyes boring into the side of his head.

“You did… Sleep together last night...Right?” Tim asks.

Jason doesn’t answer, but his silence is an answer for Dick and Tim.

“Wait, you guys didn’t?” Dick frowns. “Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jason snaps. “And it’s none of your damn business.”

“What happened?” Tim asks, ignoring Jason’s previous comments.

“Clean out your ears, kid,” Jason snaps. “It’s none of your fucking business.”

“Come on, Jay,” Dick insists. “Talk to us. We’re your brothers-- we’re not going to go blab it to the whole kingdom.”

Jason sighs, his shoulders slumping.

“She’s scared of me.”

“What?” Dick asks. “How do you know?”

“Doesn’t exactly take a genius to figure it out.”

“Are you sure you’re not just paranoid? You’re not exactly an expert in this area.”

“Well, he doesn’t have the most friendly reputation,” Tim points out. “And Jason doesn’t exactly scream approachable.”

Dick glares at him.

“You’re not helping.”

“He’s right,” Jason sighs.

“You’ve known her for one day,” Dick insists. “It’ll take some adjustment. Give it time, it’ll get better.”

“Dick, she thought I was going to rape her.”

Dick stares at him for a long moment.

“You… You weren’t going to...Right?”

Jason looks at him incredulously.

“Are you fucking serious?! No!”

“Just making sure,” Dick tosses his hands up. “Give her a few days, she’ll come around. Tim, what’s the best way to get in touch with Castle?”

. . .

Dick is wrong. You don’t come around, but Jason gets it. You were forced to move from your home, your family, and everything that is familiar to you to marry a man that terrified you. Jason was pissed about the marriage until he realized taking his anger out on someone who is equally as angry will not solve the problem.

He feels awkward. All those emotions are complicated, annoying and scary. Falling in love means being vulnerable and giving someone the ability to hurt Jason. It’s safer to not find love.

But now, Jason is married to a wife that he barely knows and is undeniably terrified of him. And oh boy, is he bad at this.

Somehow, every time he talks to you, he manages to upset you. At first, he tries asking you about your family, figuring that was a safe topic. He was wrong. Instead, Jason very quickly learns that your family is a sensitive topic that made you look like you wanted to cry (which he should’ve guessed given how pissed you were about the arranged marriage). So Jason ran.

Next, he tries asking you about your hobbies and interests, only to discover your mother’s suffocating grip on your life, which prevented you from openly exploring things (which explains why your family is a sensitive topic). Jason made a mental note to ensure your independence and ran again.

He gives up trying to talk to you when he asks about your friends, only to find out his war against Black Mask is responsible for the death of your best friend’s family.

Clearly, whenever Jason speaks to you, his foot goes directly into his mouth, so he stops doing what he thinks will work and instead, goes to Dick for advice.

Dick winces when Jason explains his poor attempts at conversation.

“I think I managed to make her more scared of me,” Jason groans. “Every time I talk to her, her answers are short and hesitant, like she thinks I’m going to hurt her if she gives the wrong answer.”

“Okay,” Dick nods. “So, talking isn’t working… Well, actions speak louder than words, so how about trying to give her things?”

“Like what?”

. . .

You look down at the most recent gift from Jason, frowning at the frills. He’s trying, but man, he is bad at this. The clothes were overly feminine. While you could appreciate the beauty of them, your mother’s suffocating idea of femininity that left you with little to no independence wrecked your interests in them. The shoes were also very beautiful but lacked practicality. You could already feel the blisters forming on your feet if you wore them for longer than a few hours.

You sigh, put the lid back on the box and stash it in your closet. You could tell Jason is trying, even if he’s really bad at it and still scares you. You wish your husband didn’t scare you, but you couldn’t help how you felt.

After getting dressed and having breakfast, you opt to explore the castle until you find something that piqued your interest for the day. As you walked by one of the meeting rooms, you could hear Jason arguing with one of his senior advisors.

“The reason for this marriage was to make an heir,” The advisor grumbles. “It’s been two months.”

“I’m aware,” Jason responds, dangerously smooth.

“What are you waiting for?!”

“It’ll happen when it happens.”

“Put emotions aside and do what you’re supposed to,” The advisor hisses.

“Do I need to remind you who is in charge here?” Jason growls. “If I say it’ll happen, it will happen. Now, butt out of my marriage. It is none of your Goddamn business what my wife and I do.”

“Yes, sir,” The advisor grumbles.

You frown, feeling guilty. You know Jason needs an heir and you know the reason he doesn’t have one is because of you. Jason has been extremely respectful of your boundaries, but the pressure of having a child continues to increase. Some of the advisors have even questioned you, but you didn’t dare to tell Jason.

He’s been respectful to your wishes. The least you can do is hold up your end of the bargain, no matter the costs.

. . .

You stand outside the strategy room, just out of view from Jason who is staring down at a map, frowning deeply. His generals left a few minutes ago, making this one of the few opportunities you’ll have to talk to him.

He’s your husband. You can talk to him. What if he’s angry? What if the meeting with his generals didn’t go well? What if he gets mad at you for interrupting? What if--

“Y/N?” Jason stands up, spotting you in the hallway.

“Hi!” You squeak, not expecting Jason to see you.

“Hey… Were you… Looking for something?” He asks.

“Um… Kind of…” You trial off. “I was actually looking for you.”

Jason’s face lights up in surprise.

“Oh, um, okay. Do you want to sit down?”

“Yeah,” You nod, following him into the room.

He goes to pull out a chair for you but hesitates for a moment. You raise your eyebrows, confused about what he is doing. Jason looks back at you, then rounds the other side of the table, leaving a chair half pulled out across from him. You sit down, crossing your shaking hands on the table.

“I um… I overheard a conversation with one of your advisors,” You begin, then panic overtakes your features.

What if he thought you were being nosy? What if he thought you were eavesdropping? Did you cross a line? Should you have pretended you didn’t hear anything?

“Not that I was eavesdropping!” You quickly clarify. “I was just walking by, I wasn’t expecting to hear anything, I just--”

“It’s okay,” Jason frowns. “This is your kingdom too. You have the right to know what goes on. What conversation did you overhear?”

“He was asking about an heir…”

Jason’s face hardens.

“Ignore him.”

“Jason, I know they’ve been pressuring you--”

“They can wait.”

“You don’t need them breathing down your neck while trying to run a kingdom.”

“I can handle it.”

“I know you can,” You quickly say, not wanting him to think you’re doubting his ability. “But you shouldn’t have to. It’s the reason we got married, so I might as well hold up my end of the bargain.”

Jason frowns at your words.

“I don’t want to force you.”

“You’re not,” You reassure him. “This is my choice.”

“Because you feel pressure,” Jason points out, looking reluctant. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to sleep with me cause my advisors are impatient dicks.”

“I do feel pressured,” You admit. “But I want to do this for you. You’ve been really respectful of my boundaries and I really appreciate it, so let me do this.”

“You don’t have to thank me for being a decent human,” Jason mutters to the table. “You’re my wife. Of course, I’m going to respect you.”

“Not everyone has that mindset,” You recall a friend’s arranged marriage being full of force and fear.

Jason mumbles something under his breath then sighs.

“We shouldn’t do this just because we feel pressured.”

“Do I need to remind you that this was an arranged marriage?” You say with a frown.

Jason sighs, running his hand through his hair.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

You shrug, playing with your wedding ring.

“Kind of have to be, I guess.”

“No. Not I guess. It’s yes or no. I don’t care if this is an arranged marriage.”

You take a deep breath.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

He doesn’t look convinced.

“I’m serious, Jason. I can do this. I’m okay with this,” You promise.

He still looks unsure.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Jason sighs.

“Okay,” He agrees. “So… Tonight...I guess?”

“Um… Yeah… Tonight sounds good,” You agree, feeling weird that you’re scheduling sex with your husband.

“Okay,” He nods.

“Okay,” You echo, unsure about how to follow up a conversation like this.

Neither of you speaks, instead, you both awkwardly look around the room. How the hell were you supposed to have sex tonight?

“So...uh...I’ll see you tonight,” You cringe at your words as you stand up.

“Uh, yeah, tonight,” Jason agrees then you leave before you say something weird.

You’re having sex tonight with your husband who intimidates you beyond belief. Great.

. . .

You stare at the clothes in your dresser, hands on your hips. You’re having sex with your husband for the first time. What do you wear? Do you wear lingerie? Do you look nice? Do you wear what you’re wearing right now? Do you wear anything at all? Should you shower? Should you be waiting on the bed? Should you go find him? Should you light candles? Should you--

The door opens, revealing Jason and cutting off your spiraling thoughts. I guess I don’t have to worry about changing anymore.

“Uh...Hey…” He says.

“Hi.”

“Are you uh…” Jason scratches the back of his head. “Ready?” He visibly cringes at his words.

“Uh... Yeah,” You shrug. “Are you?”

“Yeah…” He echoes.

You stand there for a moment, both of you opting to look around the room instead of each other. Your heart is pounding in your chest. What if you do something wrong? What if it hurts? What if he’s forceful? What if you bleed? What if--

Jason steps forward and cradles your face in his hands then leans in and kisses you. It’s...nice. He’s gentle and it’s clear he’s kissed before. You kiss back, raising your hands to rest on his shoulders. He pulls you closer by your hips then pauses, pulling away for a moment.

“I can feel your hands shaking,” He whispers to you. “Are you sure about this?”

“Y-yeah,” You stutter, nervousness leaking into your voice. “I’m just nervous… I’ve uh… never done this before.”

“We don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” You insist, swallowing your fear then pull him in for another kiss.

. . .

You wanted to enjoy sex with Jason, you really did, but you’re still scared of him.

You couldn’t relax no matter how hard you or Jason tried. Your body stayed tight and tense the entire time which made it painful, very painful.

Just like every other part of Jason, he is big, so you really needed to relax, but between your nerves of losing your virginity and very present fear of him, you couldn’t relax. Jason tried to help with reassuring words, kisses, and touches, but everything was too much. He even tried to get you off after he was done so you could enjoy it as well, but you were so overwhelmed that you had to push his head away.

It was painful, awful, and embarrassing. The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed, which made you feel worse. He’s probably pissed and guilty, especially when you started crying, but told him to continue. You wonder how much he resents you at this point…

. . .

“So…” Dick begins, pretending to look over the map with Jason. “How did last night go?”

After the bizarre conversation with you, Jason turned to Dick for advice.

Jason groans.

“I shouldn’t have let her talk me into it.”

Dick winces.

“That bad, huh?”

“It was awful. I was hurting her and I was trying not to, but she just wouldn’t… Couldn’t relax.”

Dick frowns, patting Jason’s shoulder.

“I don’t want my wife to be afraid of me,” He quietly admits.

“Did you talk to her this morning?”

“No,” Jason mutters. “She was asleep when I left.”

“She woke up alone?” Dick raises his eyebrows. “After a night like that?”

Jason slowly looks over at Dick.

“That wasn’t a good idea,” He says slowly, realization dawning on him.

Jason felt terrible this morning, he can’t imagine how you felt. And with him being gone, it probably looked like he was pissed. He is pissed, but it is most certainly not with you.

“You should talk to her.”

“And say what?” Jason groans. “Have I not already put my foot in my mouth enough around her? ‘Hey! Sorry that last night was probably the worst night of your life!’”

Dick shrugs.

“You definitely need to acknowledge it. Apologizing is a good start.”

Jason nods and sighs again. He hopes he didn’t make things even worse, not that they were great from the start.

Hope you enjoyed! Keep an eye out for part 2! And did I reference Marvel characters because I know more Marvel characters than DC? Absolutely. At some point, I promise I will write about the other batboys outside of Jason, but he’s just so fun to write.

Part 2

#jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #jason todd #red hood #jason todd au #red hood au #kingdom au #futuristic kingdom au #red hood headcanons #Jason Todd headcannon #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #bruce wayne #batman #frank castle

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