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bonefall · 2 years ago

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BB!Tigerheart -> Heartstar

For @noisycitrine and @halogenwarrior who wanted more info on the most woman ever.

[Image ID: An AU version of Tigerheart from Warrior Cats, now named Heartstar. She is a small, lithe russet-brown tabby with a long tail and bright golden stripes. She has a two-colored mane, raptor claws, and oval 'glasses'. There is a bright golden 'heart' on her chest.]

FUN FACT did you know that Canon ShadowClan had 7 male leaders in a row, from Houndstar to the modern arc? I said no. Girl Tigerheart be upon ye.

Names are sacred and carry immense weight in Clan Culture. When a cat is about to become a leader and would have a name conflict with an unfaded ancestor, StarClan renames them. Heartstar was particularly special.

She returned to the Lake after bringing back the love of her life, Dovewing, and died in a raid to take back ShadowClan kits from the Kin's remnants. Tigerheart's father, Rowanstar, couldn't bear to lose his last child. He declared her his deputy, and plunged into the Moonpool with her body.

He drowned the last of his lives away, so that she could live. StarClan itself was awed by this sacrifice, and performed a miracle. Heartstar burst from the water sputtering, ready to rebuild ShadowClan anew.

As a leader, Heartstar is back and ready for the controversy. She watched her Clan fall apart twice, once from Dark Forest meddling and a god's games, and again from Onestar refusing to lend aid during a yellowcough epidemic, and has vowed to never let that happen again.

She's ferociously protective of her family, supporters, and clanmates, in that order, and is not afraid to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss if she thinks she's doing the right thing.

Clanmew Name: Gaorbabun, Babishai (Tiger + Heartbeating, Heart will Beat + Star)

Alignment: ShadowClan, brief periods as ThunderClan and SkyClan

Relationships: Mate - Dovewing Children (adopted) - Lightleap, Shadowsight, Birchkit, Rowankit Parents - Tawnypelt, Rowanstar Siblings - Dawnpelt, Flametail Nespring - Strikestone, Sleekwhisker, Juniperclaw Mentor - Marshwing

Below the cut is trivia first, then all the changes to the character arc-by-arc, up to OotS, AVoS, and Heartstar's Rise.

Trivia!

Rowanclaw is now the son of Brokenstar along with Littlecloud! They were honor-sired for Newtspeck.

They have a distinct bi-colored mane from their mother, and 'glasses' from their father.

Tigerclaw's family trait is being brown tabbies with raptor claws.

Heartstar got all of the traits because she deserves it

I also miss how she was once described as having 'gold' in an older description so compromise; golden stripes.

I feel like you can't just miraculously resurrect without some kind of cool physical change, so, Heartstar gets to have a raised heart-shaped keloid scar on her chest.

She didn't sire any of her kittens; Light and Shadow were Bumblestripe's, and Strikestone's death left two more behind. It's free baby.

Heartstar fights in perfect tandem with Dovewing. Heartstar is so small that she can leap freely around and under her, skilled enough to never trip her up.

Their favorite tactic is for Dovewing to grapple with a huge opponent, allowing Heartstar to pop like a weasel from up between her legs to viciously attack the opponent's belly.

Tigerheart was the smallest member of the Tigerkin family, by far. In a lineup of record-setting Clan giants, Heartstar is barely larger than an apprentice.

She is much smaller than her entire family. Pocket pikachu.

Heartstar's favorite food is crayfish. She likes how most Clans are unsettled by this, Reedclaw was unbothered.

BB!OotS

Change NUMBER ONE is that Tigerpaw is the only survivor of Tawnypelt's second litter, born during the Cruel Season that saw the rise of Bramblestar.

His siblings, Dawnpelt and Flametail, are much older.

A tom-kit initially named Goldenkit, the other kits in the litter died to illness. Before her last child died, Tawnypelt angrily challenged StarClan by renaming the survivor Tigerkit.

"Go on, take a tiger into the stars so it can bite your faces off. No? Thought so."

Dawnpelt and Flametail were cool older siblings, Tigerkit especially idolized Dawnpelt and her quick sass.

The rowdy and troublesome kit was assigned to Marshwing, the cat that Brackenfur saved from an eagle during the Great Journey, now one of ShadowClan's finest warriors.

Marshwing's mentor was Oakfur, who liked to joke that whenever Marsh wanted to admit defeat he'd take the little twerp instead.

Tigerpaw met Dovepaw on the journey to unblock the southern river.

During this time, Dovepaw made her realize that she was definitely not a boy and probably also a lesbian.

This was to Rowanclaw's soft amusement when she returned home, as he is also transgender and figured it out after going on a long journey

"Maybe if we send you out again you'll come back with another one"

Dove and Tiger were fast friends after this eye-opening trip. Dove's perspective expanded to include the other Clans and the death of Rippletail made her realize how much they matter.

Tiger's perspective expanded to, "I do whatever i want because I want to see Dovewing"

Unfortunately for them, tensions between ThunderClan and ShadowClan were beginning to sour. Blackstar and Russetfur were not fond of the new management style of Bramblestar and his aggressive deputy, Thornclaw, both of which had recently taken power shortly before Tigerheart was born.

Unknown to Bramblestar, Thornclaw was training in the Dark Forest, and trying to encourage him to act more aggressively than Firestar.

Tigerpaw started training in the Dark Forest through her good friend Redpaw, who was brought in through his mentor Applefur. Applefur was the sister of Marshwing.

Her paternal grandfather was Brokenstar, and her maternal grandfather was the infamous Tigerstar. If Tawnypelt had given her this name to ward away StarClan and protect her death... then surely there was a power to gain from him?

Tigerstar took a shine to his granddaughter immediately, introducing her to his dead son, Hawkfrost.

It was very surprising to not find Brokenstar in the Place of No Stars, but Runningnose was there to... "explain" is not the right word, more like, "cryptically leave breadcrumbs of answers"

Tigerpaw was often pitted against Ivypaw in particular, as if their mentors considered them rivals. It fostered a lifelong resentment between them, especially as Dovewing began to speak highly of Tigerheart.

Tigerheart remained a supporting character, someone that Dovewing was able to talk to for a different perspective from her father Lionblaze and sister Ivypool, until near the end of the arc during a fateful battle

Attacking ShadowClan for control of a contested berry patch, Russetfur was killed, and Blackstar was devastated.

A troublemaking calico creature slid into his good graces. Sol, God of Chaos and Games, convinced him to abandon his leadership.

In the scramble, Redwillow, Ratscar, and Applefur took control of ShadowClan, and started enforcing their own rules. Tigerheart was more cunning than them, and realized they were not going to be able to keep power.

She was threading a thin needle, not openly supporting her fellow Dark Forest trainees, and she knew it.

When they were thrown out of power by Rowanclaw rallying Blackstar to return to power, Tigerstar punished them harshly in the Dark Forest and praised Tigerheart for her foresight.

Shortly after, Flametail had figured out the plot. Redwillow, Ratscar, and Applefur were freakishly strong and Thornclaw was encouraging Bramblestar not to help. They were all in cahoots!

The Dark Forest used their powers to kill him so he'd be silent, ice cracked by demonic meddling.

Tigerheart didn't know if she was going to be able to save his soul, but she had to try. Once again, Tigerstar had ignored the warning sign to preserve his family, calling off the execution.

In that moment, it proved to Hawkfrost that he was undeniably playing favorites. It wasn't about the plan. It wasn't about breaking out of the Dark Forest. It was all another project for Tigerstar's ego... and he was not valued like his bloodline through Tawnypelt.

(Go check out my meta intentions with Hawk's redemption arc over here!)

During the Great Battle, Tigerheart stayed to watch the embarrassment of the first attack, but defected as soon as the fighting got serious in the second one. She wasn't going to hurt her Clanmates, haughtily announcing that this was the best opportunity to, "join the winning side."

After the fight, Dovewing's powers started to ebb away... taking her hearing with it. Meeting with Tigerheart was always refreshing, sometimes it felt like she was the only one who really 'understood' what she wanted.

Things began to get serious when Tigerheart's apprentice, Sleekpaw, developed a rebellious streak, and a group of strange cats arrived at the lake. Onestar reacted badly, and ShadowClan fell to the kin.

BB!AVoS

If Tigerheart has any regrets, it's how she was careless with her niece. She didn't think it was a problem to just let her work it out.

It seemed... harmless. Kids who wanted to feel cool and powerful, she could empathize with that.

The apprentices weren't wrong, at first. The way Onestar immediately became upset about the outsiders, the way two kits were separated because of a vague prophecy, how Clans refused to cooperate even after everything. Tigerheart was frustrated by much of it too.

But there was something wrong about Darktail. Especially when he announced that he was accepting any cat who felt wronged and excluded from Clan society.

Maybe the impulse was harmless. Maybe Darktail was the problem in the end. In any case, the yellowcough outbreak ravaged ShadowClan and the Kin, and WindClan refused to let either of them collect mullein to treat their sick.

Dying to yellowcough is a horrible fate. Catmint can cure, but mullein must be used to prevent lung damage. Tigerheart watched clanmates survive the illness, only to choke to death in the end.

Crowfrost, the deputy and Tigerheart's brother-in-law, was one of them.

Crowfeather, Harespring, and Heathertail went behind Onestar's back to deliver what they could, but too late to save many cats that Tigerheart loved.

After this, ShadowClan quickly fell apart. The Kin was stronger, having immediately kicked the sick out of their group and quarantined.

Cats like Scorchfur said that if Rowanstar wasn't a weak leader, he would have made "hard choices" and done the same

Tigerheart realized that every group had a different reason for following the Kin. Some wanted Clans to be harsher. Some wanted more diplomacy. Others were just looking for connection.

She's smarter than most, and realized that this was much like the Dark Forest. The Kin was everything and nothing, and that meant there was probably an ulterior motive behind it.

They couldn't be trusted.

But no one listened to her. ShadowClan crumbled, she had to flee, and her last memory of her sister Dawnpelt is the image of her worried expression over her shoulder, leaving her behind in the Kin's new camp.

Dawnpelt wouldn't separate herself from her kits, including Sleekwhisker.

An ancient curse was filled yet again, tabby tiger watching their golden sibling fade away.

While staying with ThunderClan, Tigerheart found herself wrapped up in the messy sort-of-relationship between Dovewing and Bumblestripe

Dovewing was clearly unhappy, caught between two uncertain options, growing increasingly frustrated with ThunderClan

When Violetshine brought SkyClan back to the Lake for the final fight with the Kin, Tigerheart decided she needed to go be with her freed Clanmates, wherever they were to go.

Tigerheart asked her to come, but Dovewing wasn't ready. She couldn't leave her Clan, especially not when it wasn't even clear if the ex-ShadowClan cats would be fully accepted into SkyClan

Shortly after making that choice, Dovewing became pregnant. Dread twisted into panic as she realized she didn't want to raise kits with Bumblestripe, the thought of ThunderClan constantly speaking over her as a parent sunk in, and the knowledge that she had already turned Tigerheart down overwhelmed her.

With ShadowClan disbanded, Rowanclaw refusing to choose a new deputy and rejecting his remaining lives, Tigerheart and the survivors had to try and get used to being part of SkyClan.

Heartstar's Rise

This is a summary; go ahead and see the 1st draft outline of Heartstar's Rise over here!

After Dovewing choose Bumblestripe over her, Tigerheart returned to the ShadowClan survivors

They had been annexed into SkyClan, as Rowanstar was refusing to lead after his Clan fell apart under his watch

He never replaced Crowfrost after his horrible death, and was calling himself "Rowanclaw."

Ironic, that he was now in the same position as Blackstar, just before he was made deputy... but this time, there was a safer, more stable Clan for his cats to serve. He was convinced he was doing the correct thing.

This was causing problems related to the ex-ShadowClan cats having a lack of autonomy over themselves; they were no longer a Clan, but still felt like one.

They didn't want to be SkyClan cats. They were ShadowClan.

Tigerheart was more of a leader than Rowanclaw, but he was insisting ShadowClan would never have another star to its name.

"Let it rest in peace."

But before she could hatch a plan, Dovewing vanished, and Tigerheart was told by Poppyfrost (open to change) that she fled because she was pregnant.

So, of course, Tigerheart charged off to go find her.

After traveling far, far east for many days, she hit the church of the Guardians.

While there, her resolve to rebuild ShadowClan only grew stronger, though she promised Dovewing that this time... it was her choice.

She would stay and raise the kits with her, become a Guardian. Anything.

Dovewing, however, felt that this wasn't right either. Tigerheart needed to get home, her love of ShadowClan was completely different from Dovewing's dread for ThunderClan.

And... though she loved it here, she would love being wherever Tigerheart was.

Several guardians decided to join them for their own reasons; Blaze, Ant, and Cinnamon.

Spiresight is probably not going to be one of these (open to change); because he is now the leader of the Guardians. His name refers to the Guardian's new leader ability to sense anything that happens in their territory through the flora that grows there. It was not a name given by Tigerheart.

They came back to SkyClan and ex-ShadowClan cats having an argument over kittens that the Kin's remnants were still in possession of.

Yarrowleaf had been exiled from the Kin remnants and was begging for them to go back and 'save' the newborns Hopkit and Flaxkit.

The ex-Shadow cats wanted to launch an attack; Leafstar didn't feel there was enough evidence to justify a kitten-stealing raid.

How could she know if Yarrowleaf was telling the truth that Nettle was a danger to the kits? Yarrowleaf could have been exiled because she was the danger.

Tigerheart decided that enough was enough. ShadowClan was clearly still a separate Clan in their hearts, and they should be making their own choices, not begging someone else's leader for permission.

She will make controversial, ShadowClan-centric choices as a leader-- this time around, I want it to be less "black-and-white," so that the Kin remnants aren't completely evil and there's nuance to this situation... which Tigerheart tramples, displaying how she makes decisions.

But, this time, the raid has a consequence; Tigerheart died in the attack.

this is a formative moment for Shadowkit

However, Dovewing couldn't accept this, and brought her to the Moonpool in desperation.

Once there, Rowanstar refused to watch another child die. Declaring her his deputy, he grabbed her body and dove into the water, drowning away all of his lives so that she could live.

StarClan was touched by this heroic display of self-sacrifice, and was emotional enough to perform a miracle; Rowanstar's last life became Heartstar's first.

And with that life, Rowanstar gave her strength. Strength he used for one last kick, to send her thrashing back up to the surface of the pool as he sunk into the abyss below.

After this, Heartstar rebuilds ShadowClan. She can be a very biased leader, often ending up in situations where she lets her family off the hook easier than other warriors, or doling out 'theatrical' punishments just to say she did it. On that note, there are aspects of the code she barely cares about.

For this reason, even with the Clan she has the achievement of rebuilding, she can be quite polarizing. Her supporters adore her; her detractors despise her. This hasn't inhibited her ability to rule though...... yet.

(Better Bones does not cover arcs that are not done yet!)

Her political profile is largely 'soft' Traditionalism. She believes that ShadowClan must come first and that fighting keeps the Clans strong, but is committed to preserving the strength of the other four and does a lot of diplomacy. On Clan collaboration, she leans towards Fire Alone. On most other things, she leans Traditionalist.

#Girlbossstar building her empire #Yassifies your Tigerheart #Heartstar #Better Bones AU #Character Profile #Heartstar's Rise

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spoonylupin · 1 month ago

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My Positive Hysterectomy Story

I feel it's time to share a very truncated version of my story to help end the stigma around hysterectomies and help others come to the decision that's best for them if they find themselves in a situation like mine. Long story short (too late), this picture is very true - my uterus tried to kill me. I'll spare you the gory details, but I had (noncancerous) uterine fibroids very badly which had made me severely anemic. Three of my friends (and also my guardian angels) hadn't heard from me in several days, so out of concern, they checked on me, almost kicked down my door in the process, and called an ambulance. The emergency room doctor told me I probably would have been dead within twelve hours if they hadn't. Yes, I almost died and surely would have if I didn't have the most amazing friends in the world.

Anyway, those were the first words my surgeon said to me when she broached the idea of a hysterectomy: "Your uterus is trying to kill you." Then she asked me, "Do you want children going forward?" Without hesitation, I told her no (never have, never will), to which she replied, "Considering that and the fact that you almost died, I would recommend a hysterectomy." I said, "Yes, please get this blasted organ out of me!" In less than two weeks, I was being wheeled into surgery for an emergency and total abdominal hysterectomy (leaving my ovaries in place so I wouldn't be thrown into menopause), because they became too concerned to send me home with the complications I was developing.

Today is forty days post-surgery (holy shit, has it been that long already?) and let me tell you, it is one of the best decisions I've made for myself. I don't have to worry about almost dying again. I don't have to worry about the fibroids recurring if they simply removed them. I don't have to plan my life around my periods. Yes, they had gotten that bad. (Like, "My period's coming. Do I have enough food and supplies for two weeks?" or "I can't make these plans for the end of next month, because I'll be on my period.")

The healing has been surprisingly smooth, and the pain was nowhere as bad as I imagined. I was hardly in pain after surgery, because they kept me pretty well medicated, then I was off oxycodone within four days, and off Tylenol and ibuprofen within ten days. The extreme exhaustion has passed, my appetite and bowels are back to normal, and I'm getting stronger every day. I'm still a little sore and tender, but only when I stretch too much or twist in certain directions. Other than that, I forget it still might hurt, and I feel glorious. I feel better than I have in months. Actually, I feel better (and freer) than I have in a year and a half when my periods started getting out of control. My doctor said I'm a super fast healer, and I've been discharged from her care already (but she still wants me to follow up with a gynecologist every year to monitor it). Another friend of mine who had a hysterectomy years ago told me I'd feel like a new woman afterwards, and I definitely do. Ready to take on whatever comes next without worrying about when my uterus is going to try to kill me again!

Also, if you're worried about a friend or family member, please check on them. It might take a few minutes or hours of your time, but you may end up saving a life in the process. Mine did. Someone still wanted me around. I'm going to assume it's so I can write more stories for my lovely readers, so that's what I'm going to do. My stories weren't over yet. ❤️

If you have any questions about my experience, my ask box is always open. I'll try to answer what I can!

#hysterectomy #uterine fibroids #surgery

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marsharmonicorchestra · 2 years ago

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I have such a soft spot for the women in period dramas.

You have the protagonist, the one that’s not afraid to speak her mind, fight against the norm, be herself and is fiercely independent, and goes off on this epic love story.

But I realised from a very young age I was the other kind of woman. The side characters who go through the motions doing everything they’re supposed to do. They excel in everything they can to maintain a certain kind of peace for themselves and their family, and then, when they’re ready, get married off and have kids and that’s the end of their story.

The protagonist gets the love story that the other woman always wanted. It always made me so sad, because it wasn’t in me to speak my mind. I’m shy and awkward and afraid of disturbing my peace, so I’ve always just done what I was supposed to do, and I’m yet to have that great love story. The love stories I tried to have were for the sake of having them, so I didn’t fall behind.

I have such a soft spot for that woman. She dreams big, is often naive and wants this great love to come and rescue her. She wants children, not because society asks her to, but because it’s something she has genuinely always wanted. But because of the way society operates, she’s afraid to voice those dreams lest it ruin the comfort she’s found in her own silence.

I’m a Beth. I knew I could never be a Jo or an Amy, but I wanted so badly to be a Meg. Meg March made me so happy, because we both wanted those same things: to be beautiful and to be noticed, and to find true love and settle down and have the life we always wanted. I have dreams, but I see no reason why I can’t achieve both.

But I’m a Beth. I’m shy, awkward and going through the motions, clinging onto my childhood and praying it doesn’t go away, and I’m only my truest self around my sister.

I’ve seen so many films and read even more books where the other woman is described as uninteresting and boring because she’s soft spoken and doesn’t speak her mind. The only time she was described as anything else was if she was beautiful, which I didn’t believe I was growing up. So I had nothing going for me. There was never, ever a protagonist like me in a love story. Not a single one.

So when I write, I put a lot of my shy and awkward self into my characters, because I want to believe that I can have that great love story too. That I can be loved even if I don’t stand out in the crowd, even if I’m not stubborn and outwardly a fighter, and that I can be the lead love interest in someone else’s story.

I know I’m young and have so much time, but I truly I hope one day my Meg March dreams come true. It’s not because I’m boring or settling, but because I want to. It’s my dream. To find love and start a family. And that doesn’t make me uninteresting or lack a personality, it makes me happy.

#venting #period dramas do me so dirty #I love the quiet women so much #they mean so much to me #love #happiness #insecurity #period dramas #regency era #regency #period drama #little women #meg march #beth march #introvert

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antoschauniverse · 2 months ago

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I believe he's a guy who has problems with his sexuality - in fact, that's the only explanation for him starting and staying in this absurd relationship. If he has this intense need for sex, it's not even a question of changing partners - changing partners happens more because no normal woman can handle - and wants - so much sex in her life. Even physically, she can get all bruised and sensitive - not to mention periods of hormonal changes. If you have children, forget about a hardcore sex life. Even this girl, whose main function is to service the sugardaddy sexually, without limits, despite being very young, healthy and in great physical shape, must thank God when he travels without her - even if he calls her afterwards - so she has a break from the service. The permanence and advantages she can have in this relationship is directly linked to her willingness to serve him - if she starts wanting to do other things and reduces the time available, he starts to question whether it's worth keeping her and looks for someone else. The market is well supplied.

Constantly being ready to fulfill any sexual desires of the owner is the main job of a kept woman. Girls like that know what they signed up for, they're not naive nuns. So there is no objection from the kept women that they feel bad or they just don't want sex. As you wrote, the market is well supplied. David's sugar baby does not have an education and therefore she does not have a career, her work is fake so that she does not look so bad next to David, her friends are former Khalil's angels, their level of desires and education is the same as that of Miss Odalisque. So David's sugar baby won't want to do anything else, and the older she gets, the fewer opportunities she has to change her life, and this suits David very well. A man who constantly changed sexual partners will never change, so David has not changed. But unlike Tea, sugar baby won't say a word against David. Or David will put her out on the street.

#david duchovny

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imxthexhandler · 2 years ago

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[ooc]

OOC: Sorry, everyone. I’ve just been really drained with this new med, and it’s kind of been decreasing my desire to write on here.

Also, I am very sorry, but I am going to have to call a suspension for certain threads right now. Due to ongoing health concerns, I’m just putting a halt on all my pregnancy threads (especially the ones where my muse, Amelia, is with child). I’ll explain why below the cut, but the TL;DR version: I’m not comfortable with writing pregnancy threads at this time, I will send a message to my partners this affects. I will let you know when this hold is taken off. I am sorry, but this is something I need to do for me.

That said. Thank you. Have a good Monday.

Okay, for the past four years, I have been dealing with extreme menstrual cycles.

For starters, they last for an abnormal about of time-- most are 5-7 days, mine would last for MONTHS. MONTHS. In the year 2020, I spent over half of it on my period. This last one, was four months long.

And it’s heavy. Dear God, it is HEAVY. I’ve been reading different health sources saying the usual, average amount is 1/3 a cup per day. Mine would be over a cup. Those overnight pads that you’re supposed to be able to wear for about six hours, because you’re supposed to wear them while you sleep? Or all-day pads for those with bladder problems? I will change those AT BEST every 2 hours. This past period (and the one in 2020), I would be lucky if I can make it 90 minutes without changing.

Unfortunately, while I was at the courthouse, I was never granted the time off (despite having the PTO (paid time off) saved up) in order to get this addressed with a doctor. This year, I just decided I had enough, so I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist back in March, but it will not be until May 9th.

I was willing to try and just “tough it out” until then, but after a particularly bad day, my mother came over to my house and literally begged me to schedule an appointment with Kaiser or go to their urgent care, willing to pay for the out-of-network costs for the appointment.

While I was there, the nurse practitioner saw my cervix. No polyps or nothing abnormal to the naked eye when she saw it. So, to just to try and get the bleeding to stop, she put me on a prescription for pills that are for endometriosis, with the instruction that when the bleeding stopped, to stop taking the pills, but if it returned, I could start back up on them. (This has happened THREE times now.)

So, the nurse left all her notes and recommendations for further tests, etc., for my gynecologist, and told me, in her opinion, it’s likely one of three things: 1) cancer; 2) endometriosis; or 3) fibroids.

Goody-goody gumdrops for me.

And as a cis-woman, who has wanted since childhood to bear children... Yeah, this is hard. This is very, very hard to deal with. Especially with the panic that I might not be able to, because clearly, something is not working with my indoor plumbing so to speak. It’s making me feel less of a woman. It makes me feel mortified, ashamed that it’s fucked up down there, and I don’t know why.

So, for these reasons, I just can’t deal with pregnancy threads at the moment. I can’t. Because it just throws it back in my face about my health issues, and that just quickly makes me get too anxious, etc., and it’s making my depression worse.

As I said, I’ll be messaging the specific partners this affects (I believe it is really only 3), and I’ll let you guys know when I’m ready to pick up those threads again. I don’t mind it if it’s after that, with kids, and everything. But just for right now, I cannot deal with pregnancy threads.

Thank you.

#Out of field reports #tw pregnancy mention #tw cancer mention #tw health issues #tw menstrual cycle #(long post)#damnit Barton do your paper-queue

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divawomenshospital · 23 days ago

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Enjoy Your Twin Pregnancy

If a woman is blessed with a twin pregnancy, it can not only be exciting and happening but can also be full of difficulties and overwhelming if not taken proper care of. This is a case of casual pregnancy where a woman is about to give birth to two babies at the same time. Pregnancy with twins has many hardships and requires more effort and attention. However, double-baby pregnancy or childbirth can become less horrifying and more entertaining if you take medical services from Diva Women’s Hospital. In this essay, we will divide the experiences you may go through during the time of twin pregnancy and give you insight into it so that we can help you with it.

What Exactly Is a Twin Pregnancy?

A woman is said to be experiencing twin pregnancy if she is pregnant with two infants at the same time. This happens during the time a single egg is fertilised and splits into two embryos, known as identical twins or where two separate eggs are fertilised by two different sperm, which are known as fraternal twins. Proper care and support of ‘twin pregnancy’ can be an exhilarating and unforgettable experience. Still, there is a downside to it as well, due to which one would require additional care and support.

Tips to Enjoy Your Twin Pregnancy

For a healthy and stress-free twin pregnancy, it is very important that a mother and her family consider various factions at that time period. Below are some of the essential tips that can make your twin pregnancy time more happening and exciting:

Take care of yourself: Just as it is in normal pregnancies, it is important for a mother expecting twins to take care of her well-being. A woman is required to take food that is balanced and contains nutrients like folic acid, protein, iron and calcium in plenty. Please take your vitamins and drink water as your doctor recommends.

Learn: A woman with a twin pregnancy has to learn the essential characteristics of twin pregnancies. When you prepare yourself for how appropriate changes will occur in your body, you do not get so nervous.

Relaxing and taking rest: having two babies at once can make you feel heavy and even a little uncomfortable. Allow your body to take a break and focus on the babies and their well-being instead. When you are tired, do not be afraid to rest or lie down.

Seeing the doctor regularly: A woman has to attend to her medical appointments periodically, as it is important during the twin pregnancy in order to monitor the growth and wellbeing of both fetuses. Frequent checks with the doctor and having ultrasounds will give you reassurance that everything is alright.

Stay Active: Consider engaging in exercises such as walking or practicing yoga so that you can remain physically prepared for your delivery. However, ensure that any exercises you undertake are suitable for a woman carrying twins and seek the advice of a medical professional.

Prepare early, twins. Get ready Planning and preparation are crucial because early twins frequently arrive earlier than singletons. Prepare your hospital bag, set up your nursery, and talk to your healthcare professional about your birth plan.

Connect with Other Twin Moms: Getting involved in a twin mom network might offer helpful guidance and support. It can be reassuring and motivating to share your experiences with people who can relate to your mom.

Embrace the Joy of Twins

Here are a few delightful features to anticipate:

Feeling twice as kicks and motions.

Exploring the special link that forms between you and your unborn children.

Observing the unique bond that only twins have.

The delight of holding two bundles of pleasure.

It is like a blessing that doubles the amount of love, joy, and memory. Even if challenges are unavoidable, you must concentrate on these advantages, which can make your journey more rewarding and pleasurable.

Challenges and How to Overcome Them

Increased exhaustion, morning sickness, or an increased chance of complications like preterm birth or gestational diabetes are some of the major challenges that twin pregnancies can present. Nonetheless, these issues can be successfully controlled with the correct and regular attention. To overcome typical obstacles, use the following actions:

Drink large amounts of water and eat small but frequent meals.

Giving rest to the body is top priority and assign work when you can.

Make your prenatal appointments and carefully work on your doctor’s advice.

Each pregnancy is different; therefore, it’s essential to have regular communication with your doctor to receive individualised treatment.

Why Choose Diva Women’s Hospital?

We at Diva Women’s Hospital are fully aware of the special requirements associated with twin pregnancies. A skilled group of obstetricians and our gynaecologists provides:

Thorough care is designed specially for twin pregnancies.

Systematic diagnostic and observing tools.

Regular advice and appointment reminders on mental health, physical activity, and diet.

Assistance for early deliveries and high-risk pregnancies.

Our core aim is to make sure that you and your babies have a happy and safe time.

A twin pregnancy is a unique experience, which is difficult and incredibly fulfilling. You can make this an amazing experience by putting your health first, keeping yourself educated and surrounding yourself with proper people. We at Diva Women’s Hospital support you at every turn of your pregnancy. We appreciate the happiness that comes with bearing two children and treasure the memories that are created by you.

For professional treatment and better support, get in touch with us. If you are pregnant or intend to have twins, we are here to give you and your babies the best support. Together, we make your twin pregnancy an unforgettable experience!

Read More:- Enjoy Your Twin Pregnancy.

#Best maternity hospital in ahmedabad #Best Gynecology hospital in ahmedabad

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chicleeblair · 1 year ago

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Dawn of Redeeming Grace [20/23]

Title: Chapter 20: December 23, 1982 || FFN

Rating: NC-17/Explicit

Pairings: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd

Six weeks after Derek left to take the NIH job, Meredith is ready to use the holidays to prove she has this working mom thing on lock. Sure, he neglected to tell her he'd be bringing a guest, but whatever, 'Tis the season for truces. Even Ellis Grey took the day off. But with every moment of family togetherness, a return to the trenches seems more impossible. Can a few days of peace put their relationship back on track, or has she fallen for the illusion of a snow-globe, destined to either settle or shatter?

Dawn of Redeeming Grace|| FFN

This is obviously a parallel to Sadie’s perspective on Meredith, but also I wanted to show Derek in a period that’s mostly only hinted at. We only find out about Michael in season ten, and I can see people thinking it contradicts what Derek tells Bailey about high school. But I imagine he went into high school still reeling from his dad’s death, and spending a lot of his free time with Amelia. To me, it’s an interesting tell that she taught herself to ride a bike at eight, when Derek would be fifteen. Any didn’t he teach her earlier? It suggests to me that she had a lot going on, maybe behavior, or just being watched by her siblings on weekdays while they did homework and having them take off on weekends. Also, there could’ve been a trial as I had in FDNH, though Amy wouldn’t have been a witness, the family would’ve been in deep.

At fifteen, three years after the shooting, Derek’s hitting puberty, something that’s totally different for him than it was for his sisters. Unless you think they’re all Irish twins, anywhere from one to three of his sisters have graduated. I bet he’s afraid college will be a question for him, whatever Carolyn says, because he’s the fourth, and it’s not like she has five years to save like she would with Amy. I hand wave this with selling the store, life insurance, and “my dad was shot” essays, but still. He holds in a lot of stress and anger, more than he can get out blasting The Clash at Mark’s. To me, hockey fits. Crossover with baseball is not unheard of.

A lot of fic focuses on Mark’s womanizing, but although if the nurses feel ill-used, I can’t speak to their experience, I don’t get it. It’s known that he’s not going for a relationship at that point, and he obviously really appreciates women. I’d point to Alex as more often being the crude man-whore. But Mark can’t have always been as slick. Working on this fic, I realized that the common trope of him referring to Carolyn as “Mom” isn’t canon. (At least not in s5. This could be a result of the affair, but they seem to have addressed that off camera.) He’s Derek’s lifelong best friend, but he’s not a Shepherd. Even just proximity makes it likely that one of them was his first girlfriend, but he’s also at least a couple of years younger than them (canon birthdate is 1978. I try not to change those things unless they’re impossible.)

Repressed envy is, of course, huge between these two. Mark’s freedom versus Derek’s family. If Derek and Addison had had kids, I don’t believe the affair would’ve happened. Not for any think of the children reasons, but because I see Mark believing Derek wasting his chance at the life he idealizes. On the flipside, at that point Derek feels tied down by his family, something that isn’t resolved until….well, the present points of this fic. Maybe that applies more to the 2005 or 2007 chapters, but the seeds are here. Also daddy issues. Daddy issues everywhere. Mark’s afraid of becoming his father, Derek’s afraid he won’t be his.<—That’s it. That’s the problem.

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danisbrainrot · 2 years ago

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Forbidden Yearning (pt 1)

eloise x reader

female reader and she/her pronouns used

word count: 1,324

tw: typical period misogyny, internalized homophobia, that's about it for now.

Lady Danbury hosted the most spectacular soirees; she had become an influential member of the ton, not just because of her wit and sharp tongue but particularly for her specialities in throwing the event of the season.

Still, y/n found herself standing next to the lemonade stand as she kept a watchful eye on the couples that graced the dance floor, wondering what scandal Lady Whistledown would write about this week. Her eyes latched on to Eloise Bridgerton, who had recently come to polite society, ready for matrimony. Unexpectedly, Eloise held y/n's gaze, neither being able to take their eyes of the girls; the staring competition only interrupted when her older brother, Benedict, y/n concluded, whispered something in her ear which made her face scrunch up and come up with a rude retort.

The Bridgertons were a most illustrious family indeed, they all seemed to share the knack for being oblivious to their feelings as well as their stunning beauty. Violet Bridgerton has made it her purpose in life to see that all her children marry off the perfect love match. This has rung true when the Viscount, Anthony, had married Kate Sharma, the spinster sister of last season's diamond and Daphne had acquired herself a Duke. However, Eloise Bridgerton was strongly opposed to the idea of marriage.

Perhaps it was the feeling of utter and total entrapment that deterred her, or perhaps, and what Eloise would come to find, was that she wasn't interested in any of the prospects that her mother intended her to marry. All the men in the room seemed like they would better understand a jellyfish than her. When Eloise locked eyes with a mysterious beauty from across the room, for some inexplicable reason, she felt that they would be able to understand her completely.

"Might I suggest looking approachable, if you do intend to find a husband, that is," Lady Danbury croned, startling y/n out of her daydream to face the woman. Raising an eyebrow, y/n looked the picture of innocence, prompting the older woman to continue. "Oh you know what I meant, as the old saying goes you attract more flies with honey and I heard you are in the market for a husband."

"Believe me, Lady Danbury, I intend on scaring any prospects away. The last thing my family needs right now is a scandal, which is guaranteed the longer I attend these…festivities," y/n replied. She had an unusual knack for gaining unwanted attention, and not because of her beauty. Her family had been subject to scandal many years ago, with her sister's decision to leave her debutante life behind and instead become a trades woman, bringing shame to her family; the pressure was now on y/n to secure a wealthy husband who has a noble rank.

"The quicker you find a husband, the sooner you can run away from the social scene. Although, you might find yourself drawn back to these kinds of festivities once you are out from under your mama's thumb. Let me introduce you to the Bridgertons, such fine young men shall make an excellent match for you, my dear," Lady Danbury extended an outstretched arm, y/n took it as the older woman led her towards the gaggle that was the Bridgerton brood.

"Lady Danbury, I was wondering how long it would be until you graced us with your joyous presence," Colin Bridgerton teased. It seemed to y/n that the family had a teasing sort of humour since every time she saw them at a social gathering, there were all kinds of retorts and sly words uttered to their siblings.

"Oh hush you, I have simply come to introduce Miss y/n l/n, there are many whispers that she is to be this seasons incomparable," y/n lightly blushed as she said this, focusing her attention to the intricate detailing on the floor rather than the conversation at hand.

As she was introduced, one by one, to the Bridgerton clan, she felt her heart race when she laid eyes on Eloise. She cursed herself, she was supposed to be perfect, she had to be perfect. She would not bring any more shame to her family. She offered Eloise a small smile, which was returned, before taking the hand of Colin, who had asked to dance.

As he twirled her around, pulling her close before swaying her side to side, y/n found herself completely enamoured with Eloise, unable to stop herself discreetly looking in that direction, she chalked it up to wanting a close female friend to guide her through this treacherous and torturing time of their lives. "I must say, you have to be the smoothest dancer I have ever had the pleasure of sharing the floor with," Colin complimented.

Y/n returned to reality and smiled, blushing at his compliment. "Thank you, Mr Bridgerton, I shall go and tell my parents that the dance tutor was a sound investment," she giggled, making him swoon slightly. But I'm not his to swoon over, was her immediate thought, followed by i'm much more interested in ceilings than men. Mentally cursing herself yet again, they continued to dance in silence, letting the music sweep her off her feet.

Yearning for fresh air, y/n bowed after the dance had ended and aptly made her way to the door which led to the outside gardens, which was a splendid sight to take in. She found herself losing her thoughts as she gazed past the rose beds, past the marble statues and the perfectly trimmed hedges. She felt a presence accompany her but couldn't bother to turn to find out who it was, simply enjoying the moment before the other person would ultimately ruin it.

"It's a rather awe-inspiring sight, do you not think?" Eloise asked, leaning her arms on the bannister of the balcony. She rested her head in the crook as y/n turned to face her, already coming up with a reply in her mind before Eloise continued. "I mean it has nothing on the gardens at my ancestral home, Aubrey Hall, but it is a wonder in itself."

Not sure how to respond, y/n lifted her head to observe the night sky, counting her blessings as well as remembering the little astronomy she had learnt from the letters her brother would send while he studied in Greenwich. "I am sure the stars shine brighter in Aubrey Hall, since it is in the countryside," y/n finally mustered, "It seems that it would be a miracle to see the whole constellation in London," the two girls turned to look at each other, prompting them to lock eyes. It was as though time had stilled, their breaths had become more noticeable and Eloise's eyes seemed to twinkle in the moonlight. Y/n felt herself inching closer, to get a better look at her eyes? she didn't know, all she knew was Eloise's lips parted and she stared patiently as they both waited for the moment to arrive.

It wouldn't, however, arrive today, as they heard the doors swing open and heard the giggles of some debutante who clutched onto the arm of some flirty nobleman. The moment was lost and the girls found themselves dissatisfied, y/n was quite flustered and wished for fresh air, even though she was already outside. It was as if the air had grown hot and stuffy; she found herself dreaming of the cool breeze of the London night to chill her to her core so she could forget this happened.

"My family will begin to wonder where I am, I should be off. Farewell, Miss l/n, it was lovely meeting you," Eloise said hastily, y/n gave a small wave before sliding down onto the floor and placing her head in her hands.

Whatever was she going to do about this forbidden yearning?

#bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #forbidden romance #regency era #lesbian romance #wlw positivity #x reader #reader insert #female reader #she/her

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tetsunabouquet · 2 years ago

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What’s going on with Alex

A/N: For my fellow sapphic knb fans and the guys in the fandom, I’ll hereby cover our famous bi-disaster that is Alexandra Garcia. My next post will be Basic Instinct part 4, so I hope the fans of the series are ready because I hope to drop that baby before saturday. -We know Alex’s type when it comes to guys is masculine/strong, but when it comes to women, the way she acts towards Riko, betrays her female type: smaller, cute girls. I do think she’ll like them being confident and not overtly timid, though. I feel like Riko is very much her type. So feminine, petite lesbians/bi women, let’s buckle up our seatbelts ‘cause she’s here for us. -Whilst she is very much inappropriate with her kissing minors, the fact she doesn’t feels comfortable saying who she likes better (Kagami or Himuro), shows she’s NOT created to play into predatory gay thropes, but rather a misrepresentation of European customs. -Which brings me to the fact she is stated to be Spanish-American, and that she can ALSO speak English and Japanese (the also implying she can speak Spanish). This makes me feel like her parents are Spanish immigrants and that she and her family haven’t been in the US for several generations. -I believe she might not be born in the US either, and immigrated when she was a young child herself. Which is how Kagami and Himuro could convince her to mentor them, she could see how they, especially Kagami, were isolated and new to the culture, and knew what it felt like so she wanted to help. -Considering she’s an otaku, I feel like she had latino friends at middle/high school who got her into it considering a lot of latinos actually are anime fans. I know European Spanish and Latin American Spanish are different, but as a Spanish immigrant she did likely stuck with the latino community to give her a place of belonging at school. -I feel like she’s very pro inter-racial relationships and also very much would prefer men/women of culture. With what I mean with men or women of culture, are immigrants or children of immigrants who were still very much raised to adhere a certain culture outside of the general melting pot that is American culture. So KNB fans outside of the US, you’re in luck. She very much likes good looking foreigners. -Because her favourite food is Rum Raisin ice cream, Alex is definitely the type of person who has a certain comfort food that they eat a lot of on their couch when they feel terrible. Considering Alex is a woman, I’m definitely betting she’s especially in need of it during her periods. -If you’re the considerate type to get her ice cream in those moments, you’re her ultimate savior. -But to get back to basketball, I definitely think that because she knows how to unlock and train wild instincts, she had it herself when playing and that is one of the major reasons why people were terrified of approaching her during her streetballing for money days. -Considering the whole scene with Haizaki, she also knows a bit of how to fight. Because whilst she was dangerous as a player, she was still a woman surrounded by all kinds of muscular men. The idea Haizaki was the first to make an aggressive move on her like that is bizarre. So I feel like she’s definitely had some self defense lessons to keep herself safe. -Because she’s sly, knoweldgeable and likely knows three languages plus the Latin American variant to Spanish, I think Alex is likely also fairly intelligent and might be a sexy nerd as much as she’s an athlete. -With the way she’s clinging to Kagami and Himuro, I suspect Alex to be an only child who’s eager to claim a pair of younger brothers. -If she ever ends up as a basketball coach, she’ll pretty much have adopted her team. She’s a mom-coach at heart.

#alex #alexandra garcia #knb #kuroko no basket #basketball #immigration #wild instincts #kuroko's basketball #bisexuality #spanish #knb x reader

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jessikahathaway · 4 years ago

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Baby Talk - Part I

Hellooooo!

I've had this in my WIPs for a while and I wanted to get some of it out so that you all could enjoy it! Let me know what you think and if you want more??? Tag lists are open for all of my ongoing fics so if you want to be added just let me know!

Please enjoy!

Pairing: Jikook X Reader (Jimin X Reader X Jungkook)

Genre: Surrogacy!AU, Polyamorous!AU, Romance. (Future Smut)

Warnings: Medical Procedures, Assault (not descriptive), Profanity. If I forgot anything please let me know!

Words: 11.3k (Phew chill Jess~)

This wasn’t a big deal, you thought to yourself as you signed the paperwork in the clinic.

Just, you know, getting artificially inseminated for money. Nothing weird about that right?

Becoming a surrogate wasn’t something you’d planned on in your life, mainly sticking to your job and working towards a better tomorrow or whatever they say.

You were young, healthy and full of life.

The only thing you lacked, was a full bank account.

The realization hit a little harder than you thought it would. Being a receptionist wasn’t exactly what you’d had planned for your life but, it was simple work and it made you happy.

Going to college wasn’t really ever an option for you anyways. Your parents had died in an accident when you were little, forcing you to go live with your Great Aunt until you turned eighteen. She hadn’t forced you out, but you did leave. Wanting the adventures that life had to offer.

However, you quickly realized that it wasn’t easy pickings out in the world. That’s when the notice came to the door of your apartment that you either paid your late rent in full by the date or you could get your ass out.

Fear trickled down your spine at the thought of being homeless. You briefly thought of going back to your Aunts but, she lived out in the country and the city is where you’d made your home. As much as you cared about her, it just wasn’t going to happen.

That’s when your friend Namjoon and his husband Jim invited you over for dinner.

You were beyond excited, because these two had just had their baby girl Annie.

They had used the local fertility clinic to get a surrogate and had their baby just a month prior. You had been dying to meet the little bundle ever since you heard the news they were having a baby.

God, that kid was going to be spoiled rotten.

Quickly, you had gone over and enjoyed a nice meal with the three of them. Annie still partaking in formula.

You had tried to make conversation, but your eyes kept wandering to Annie and her little hands and feet. You felt a slight clench in your chest at the sight of her round face and sweet eyes.

“Earth to Y/N? You doing alright?” Namjoon’s voice echoed through their lovely, luxe apartment.

“Y-Yeah! Fine, I’m fine,” you smiled.

“You sure?” Jin asked, getting up to take his and Namjoon’s plates to the kitchen.

“Mhmm,” you said, eyes glancing back over at the baby.

“You’re so whipped, Annie has claimed yet another victim,” Namjoon snickered, looking at the blissful gaze your eyes had taken.

“You ever want kids, Y/N?” Jin asked, coming back in with dessert for each of you.

“I guess so, I mean. Just gotta find someone to make the baby with,” you joked half heartedly.

It was no secret among your friends that you were the black sheep. Not dating, not even entertaining the notion of having a significant other. The idea was, honestly, draining.

“Don’t feel like you have to be married to have a kid, Y/N. Single parenthood is just as valid as a couple,” Jin reminded.

“I’m nowhere near financially stable enough to pop out a kid right now,” you sighed.

“No? I thought the job at the hotel was treating you well,” Namjoon said.

“Yes and no, they treat me well. But pay me next to shit... I-I gotta make some quick cash, or I’m gonna be homeless,” you whispered.

“What?!?” The two men shouted, looking at you with heartbreak in their eyes.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell us you were struggling! We could’ve done something!” Jin says, rubbing his face with frustration.

“No-No! It’s fine, I’ll figure it out! I always do,” you encouraged, trying to keep the fear out of your eyes.

“How far behind on rent are you?” Namjoon asked.

“A little under six grand,” you sighed.

“Y/N!” Your two friends looked distraught.

“I don’t understand how a society can function like this, I hate it,” Namjoon said, looking down at his dessert he no longer wanted.

Annie started fussing, kicking her feet and wanting attention.

Jin sighed and got up, taking his beautiful daughter with him. You and Namjoon sat in cold silence for a while. Neither of you willing to talk to the other.

You were too proud for your own good. Even if it meant crashing and burning, you’d do that before you took anyone’s pity.

“How can we help?” Namjoon asked, looking at you with so much worry.

“I really don’t know Joon, there’s no where that’ll give me that kinda money with my credit and... even if they did I couldn’t pay it back anyways,” you sighed.

“Have you thought about going to school for something? Maybe you can get a degree and, I don’t know I’m pulling at straws here,” he said.

“I can’t go to school Joon, with what money? And even worse, I wouldn’t know what to go into,” you said, swallowing down some more wine.

“I wish we could’ve had you surrogate for us. We paid that woman a small fortune. Had I known you were struggling I would, maybe you could’ve done it instead,” he said quietly.

“How much did you pay her?” You asked.

“Around $80,000,” he said, shrugging.

You choked.

“Damn you filthy rich kids,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“That’s it!” Namjoon said.

“Huh?” You asked, looking at him in confusion and despair.

“You can’t be our surrogate, but you could be someone else’s!”

Your body ran cold at the thought.

“I-I don’t know if I could do that Joon,” you said.

“Doesn’t your family have a high chance of twins?” He said, looking at you with a smile.

“I mean, yes but-”

“Say no more. I know a couple that’s been dreaming of a baby. They actually were supposed to meet the woman who wound up being our surrogate. But she decided to go with us. Jimin and Jungkook, they’re really good people Y/N,” Namjoon said, smiling.

“Namjoon, I don’t know if I can have a stranger’s baby!”

“I mean I won’t force you to sign up or anything. But Jungkook and Jimin are really good guys who have been waiting forever to have a baby. They said they wanted twins but, most importantly they wanted a healthy child. How sweet is that!”

You worried your lower lip with your teeth. This was just ridiculous. There’s no way you’d be able to do it. No way.

“Let me show you a picture of them!” Namjoon said, pulling out his phone.

“Joon really-”

Although, before you could argue anymore, you saw their faces.

A smaller, blond man. Whose smile was brighter than any star. And a taller, lean brunette who looked at the camera with a goofy grin.

“Jimin is the blond, Jungkook is the brunette,” Namjoon explained.

“Okay?” You said, trying to calm your racing heart.

They were both handsome. Deathly so, it made your stomach clench in a weird way to look at them. You wondered what kind of babies they would make. If they had that smile Jimin was packing, no one would be safe. That child would get whatever it wanted.

“I’m just saying, it doesn't have to be them but they’ve wanted a baby for so long and... you could help them with that and get a lump sum of cash on the side. Bad a bing bad a boom! No worries!”

It wasn’t such a hard decision in the end.

You needed the money.

So walking into the clinic had this weird sense of finality to it.

The receptionist looked at you with a smile.

“Hello dear, how can I help you?” She said.

“I-uh, wanted to sign up to be a potential surrogate?” You said, wringing your hands together.

“Of course! Did you bring your medical records and things of the like?”

You nodded quickly, handing over the required paperwork. She clicked away on her keyboard and got you all signed up and ready to go. Soon, you were getting your preliminary check up to see if you were able to have children.

Although your period had some irregularities in the past, the doctor’s said it was probably due to stress and the balancing out of hormones. But it would all work out, you were healthy and fertile!

You managed to tell Namjoon that you signed up without him having a full blown heart attack.

“How long until you need to be out of the apartment?” He asked, sipping his coffee.

“I need to be out in three weeks,” you said softly.

“Well shit you’re kinda on a time crunch there sweets, but don’t worry, you can do it! I’ll let Jimin and Jungkook know that you signed up, they’ll want to meet you. I know it,” he said.

“Namjoon, it’s okay. I don’t care who I surrogate for, as long as it’s soon,” you said, trying to keep your heart rate under control.

“Okay, but Y/N, I’m telling you. They’d be the perfect fit for you!” He said.

You said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. The days to come would be challenging no doubt.

—

You were rather popular at the fertility clinic it seemed, because you’d had three meetings already.

One was a couple that had been trying for years and it just wasn’t happening so they were resorting to a different method. Although for this one they wanted to do an egg implantation. You weren’t sure you wanted to do that.

Another was an older couple who looked like they were just planning on having kids but their own clocks ran out.

But finally, you got one more call from the clinic.

“Miss Y/N, you’ve got another request for a meeting,” the receptionist on the other line said.

“Oh? With whom?” You asked.

“A Mr. Park Jimin and a Mr. Jeon Jungkook, they asked for you personally,” she said, tone light.

You almost spit out your drink.

Th-They had asked for you?

The fertility clinic was big, a huge database of surrogates and people willing to conceive for the right price.

But they had asked to meet you.

Personally.

“Miss Y/N? Still there?” The receptionist asked, sounding far away from you.

“Yes! Yes I’m here,” you said, coughing.

“Wonderful, they said if you were willing they’d like to treat you to a meal, of course I can’t give out your contact information without consent from you but if you’re willing to meet with them we can arrange this.”

You heard yourself agree before even thinking about it.

Soon, you were on your way to the higher end of town. Heading towards a good Korean Barbeque place that was notorious for having the best meat in town.

Walking in you looked around, noticing how luxurious the place was. It made you feel a little out of place to be honest. But, not letting that get to you the host came up and asked for your name.

“Miss Y/N, ah yes. You’re with the Jeon party, lovely. Come right this way,” he said, taking you back into the bowels of the beast it seemed.

Winding through tables and chairs you found yourself in front of a private room. You didn’t want to think about how much this cost, so you simply just let your mind wander to other fun topics.

Such as the fact that you were potentially meeting your surrogate partners.

“Mr. Jeon? Mr. Park? A Miss Y/N is here for you,” the host said, through the door.

“Let her in,” a higher pitched male voice said.

You bit your lip and waited as the door opened. You looked inside and saw a beautiful wooden table, laid out with the finest meats and other various types of noodles and food. Then, there was the other feast, one for your eyes.

Park Jimin was a smaller man, but so incredibly handsome it made your head swirl. His soft blond hair tucked under a beanie as he looked up at you with what could only be called wonder. He looked at you gently, a small smile making its way to his lips.

Jeon Jungkook was a different story. Lean but cut, tiny waist accentuated by his pants. His arms were strong looking and one was covered in tattoos. His hair was pulled away from his face in a precious man bun that made your heart stutter. His eyes were big and glassy, looking at you. As if breathing you in.

“Hi,” you said quietly. “I’m Y/N.”

“We know,” Jimin said with a gentle smile.

“Come, sit down,” Jungkook said, moving a chair out for you to sit.

“Okay,” you agreed, moving to sit down.

“Get whatever you want,” Jimin encouraged, handing you the menu politely.

“Thank you,” you blushed, trying to not faint with his eyes on you like that.

Ordering a few things for yourself the three of you sat there with awkward silence filling the space. Jungkook wouldn’t really look at you and Jimin seemed like he was too nervous to start.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat. “How long have you two been together?” You asked, trying to sound cheerful.

“Five years,” Jungkook said, placing his hand over his glass.

“Oh wow, congratulations,” you said, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

“Thank you,” Jimin breathed.

“Our friend Namjoon said you were kind of in a tight spot and needed some help financially, is this true?” Jungkook asked, finally glancing your way.

“Y-Yeah, I wish he wouldn’t just tell other people that but, no sense in denying the truth. I’m almost six grand behind on rent,” you sighed, rubbing your face.

Both of their faces fell, looking at each other in worry.

“It-It’s okay though! I’ll be okay, I always am,” you said, trying to keep your tone light.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/N, I would be scared shitless if I were you,” Jungkook said, taking slow drinks from his glass.

“Yeah,” you sighed, trying to avoid the stinging in your eyes.

“What do you do for work?” Jimin asked, trying to keep the conversation from turning to dark.

“I’m a receptionist at the local hotel. It’s not much, but I really like it,” you said, a grin taking place on your face.

“Hey, if you like it then that means something,” Jimin encouraged.

“So, you two want to have a baby?” You said, trying to get down to the topic at hand.

“Yes, more than anything,” Jimin said, a wistful look crossing his face.

“That’s amazing, to love each other that much and want to build a family is... Super important,” you said, meaning every word.

“What does your family do, Y/N? Do they live here in the city?”

You awkwardly rubbed your hands together.

“Um, my Great Aunt lives out in the country. But, my parents and most of my other relatives have passed on,” you said, trying to hide the emotion that came up.

“Oh, so sorry for your loss,” Jungkook said, face pinching.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago,” you whispered.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” Jimin argued.

“You’re right, but, it’s okay,” you said.

“So, you have a high chance for twins,” Jungkook said, looking at some papers you didn’t notice were on the table.

“Yes, my mother was a twin. It runs way back in my family,” you said.

“Jimin has a good chance of having twins as well,” Jungkook said, gesturing to his loving partner.

“I do I do,” he said with a grin.

“Do you two want a set of twins?” You asked.

“It’s preferred but not necessary. As long as we get a baby, that’s all that matters,” Jungkook said.

Soon, the food was delivered and Jungkook and Jimin insisted on cooking the food for you. Something about not stressing you out too much.

After a full meal, you leaned back and let your head fall comfortably. Jimin and Jungkook exchanged a glance at each other.

‘She’s the one,’ Jimin mouthed.

Jungkook smiled and nodded back.

“Thank you for the meal, I really do appreciate it. I haven’t eaten like that in months,” you said.

“Well, if you want to have our baby, we would gladly provide you with all the food you could want,” Jimin said.

“T-That’s alright, it wouldn’t be necessary-”

“Yes it would, Y/N. If you carry our child that means we’re responsible for you, everything you need or want will be yours. We swear,” Jungkook said.

“Right,” you swallowed thickly.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Jimin asked.

“I-I’ve never really been one for dependence on other people. You know? I like to do things myself if I can,” you said.

“Well, we wouldn’t force you to do anything of course but, if you did want or need anything, we would be more than happy to provide you with it,” Jungkook said.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet,” you said.

“You’d be carrying our child,” Jimin said as if it were obvious.

“Of course,” you said softly.

“Hey, if you don’t want to do this then don’t feel pressured. Don’t let money be an object in what you want to do with your life. It’s not healthy,” Jimin said.

“Thank you,” you said again.

“Well, I think it’s time to get going. I know you’ve met with other couples that have no doubt tried to convince you they’re the best option but... I really hope you chose us Y/N. You’d be the perfect surrogate for us,” Jungkook said, looking at you with a softened gaze.

And you knew it too.

You knew they were the couple you wanted to surrogate for, even if it cost you everything. You knew they deserved it. Not that any of the other families you had spoken to didn’t, but, they were the ones for you.

Your fertile window and ovulation were coming up so you had to make a choice and soon.

You’d met with the doctors at the clinic and they said that they were just waiting on you. Whomever you picked would have a meeting with you before the insemination on the rules and what you would have to do in regards to taking care of yourself. And then the money would be yours in full.

Calling the clinic you told them your answer.

“I would like to surrogate for Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park,” you said.

“Alrighty, I will give them a call and set up the appointment for them to get their end of the deal all set up and then we can get you all ready to go!” The receptionist said.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you said before hanging up.

Namjoon and Jin invited you over wanting to hear the news of everything going on with you.

And you couldn’t wait to see Annie again.

“Aw, you’re getting so big!” You said as you were greeted by Annie’s face in Jin’s arms.

“Yes she is!” Jin agreed. The cooing baby leaned forward, moving to capture your hair in her little fist.

You laughed and took her from Jin easily, he didn’t fight you and let you have your time with her. Rocking and bouncing her on your hip while the pair of them talked in the dining room.

Soon, a knocking came to the door.

Confusion swept over you, but regardless, you went to answer the door anyways.

Annie still on your hip, you opened the door to reveal Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook, your new surrogate partners.

Frozen in shock the two of them looked at you as if they were equally confused.

You wondered if the clinic had told them you picked them yet. You had just gotten off the phone with them today, so you weren’t. Jungkook’s face went to you to Annie and then back to you.

“H-Hi?” You whispered.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jimin asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Came to have dinner with Jinnie and Joon, and Annie of course,” you smiled, raising the little one up on your hip more.

“Oh, did you know we were coming?” Jungkook asked.

“No, I had no idea,” you said.

“Ah! Are those the boys?” Jin’s voice echoed throughout the hall.

“Yes!” You yelled back.

“Let them in Y/N! We invited them over too!” Namjoon said.

“Please come in,” you said, moving out of their way as the couple greeted Jin and Namjoon fondly.

It appeared as though there were no hard feelings in regards to them getting a surrogate they wanted. But, you could see Jungkook’s longing on his face when he looked at Annie in your arms.

“She’s beautiful,” Jimin said, looking down at Annie as you rocked her to sleep.

“Mhmm, gorgeous. She’ll be stealing hearts just like her dads,” you said.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jimin said, keeping his eyes trained on the little one in your arms.

“Did you make your decision yet? It said on your profile that your ovulation window was coming up and I was just curious,” he said quietly.

“I did,” you said.

Jimin’s face fell.

“I see,” he swallowed.

“Jimin-”

“Alright you two, paws off the baby, my turn!” Namjoon said, walking in.

You handed the sleeping baby over without a fuss before you and Jimin both walked out into the living room. Jimin whispered something to Jungkook and his face dropped. But you couldn’t find the words in your mouth. You wanted to tell them you picked them. You moved to talk to them when you felt Jin’s presence behind you.

“Y/N? You alright?” Jin asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah.”

It was getting later, and you were feeling sleepy from all the food you’d eaten during the night.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at your sleepy form and their hearts broke all over again.

“I can’t believe she didn’t pick us,” Jungkook said, face betraying how he felt.

“Babe, you can’t force her. I-I thought we had a good chance but,” Jimin sighed.

“I don’t want to keep looking for a surrogate if this is going to happen every time,” Jungkook said, pain coming through in his voice.

“Jungkook you know how badly I want this too right? It’s not just you hurting here,” Jimin said.

“We’ve been trying for two years to find a surrogate and when we find one we want, they always pick someone else. Why? Are we that undesirable? I don’t understand,” Jungkook sighed.

“It’s not that,” Jimin whispered. “Maybe it’s just not our turn yet.”

“When is it gonna be our turn, huh?” Jungkook said. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“We can’t give up,” Jimin said softly. “I don’t want to give up yet.”

“I know baby,” Jungkook said, kissing Jimin’s cheek softly.

You felt your heart pounding in your chest. These poor men were really hurting for a baby. A family to call their own.

Sitting up Jimin and Jungkook looked at you in fear.

“Y/N? Y-You were awake-oh God I’m so sorry you had to hear that-” Jimin said frantically.

“I picked you two,” you said.

Their eyes shot up to meet yours.

Jungkook’s were glossy from unshed tears and Jimin’s were widening by the second.

“You what?”

“I said I picked you two. I want to surrogate for you two,” you explained.

“But-in the nursery you said-” Jimin started.

“I said I had picked someone, I didn’t say who silly,” you smiled.

“Oh thank you Y/N!” Jungkook said, coming over to hold your hand in his.

“You don’t know what this means to us,” Jimin said.

“I know you two want this baby more than anything, I want to give it to you. Honestly, you two have waited long enough,” you said, heart stammering at the look of hope in their eyes.

“You’re perfect Y/N! Seriously!” Jimin cried, holding onto Jungkook for dear life.

“Thank you, you’re very sweet. I’m supposed to go in for the, you know, business end of it on Monday. They said they’d call you tomorrow. I just gave my answer today,” you told them.

“Okay, alright sounds good,” Jungkook said, wiping his eyes furiously.

“You gonna be okay?” You asked, looking at the two of them.

“Of course, more than okay.”

—

Monday creeped up on you quickly, faster than you thought.

You went to the clinic and sat down, getting signed in and everything before you saw Jungkook and Jimin waltz in looking like a million bucks.

Dressed head to toe in designer clothing, you realized you didn’t know what they did for a living. You hadn’t really looked at their profiles all that much. But you knew their baby would have everything they could ever want and more.

Smiling at them and waving, the two of them made their way over to you.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Jimin asked, sitting down in the chair next to you.

“Just waiting,” you said, looking at the pair of them together.

They looked like the traditional power couple. Strong, dependable and handsome to boot. It was kind of overwhelming.

Jungkook was wringing his hands together, biting his lip as he looked around the room.

“You alright Jungkook?”

“Yeah just-”

“Mr. Jeon, Mr. Park and Miss Y/N? The legal assistant will see you now,” a voice from the corner called.

“Let’s go,” you said, standing up and heading towards the back room.

You sat down and the rules of the road were laid out.

If you signed the contract Jimin and Jungkook were the parents of the child. You had no rights unless they said otherwise. You would be given a lump sum of money, transferred into your bank account the day they know you’re pregnant and expecting. If anything happens to the baby such as a miscarriage or something of the like that you had no control over, you would be able to keep the money. But, they would like to try again to see if the next one stuck better.

“So, if you conceive twins, which your likelihood is good, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park have agreed to pay you double,” you almost choked on your drink.

Double?

“What?” You squeaked out.

“It’s written right here,” the legal assistant said, pointing to the document in her hands.

“Okay,” you said softly, not wanting to make either of them uncomfortable.

“The total of your payment will come to $153,000 dollars,” the legal assistant said. “If you conceive twins.”

Your head swirled.

What would you do with all that money? Jimin and Jungkook looked at you with worry.

“I-Is it not enough? We can give you more if you want-”

“No! No no, that is totally acceptable. More than,” you said.

“Okay, just making sure,” Jimin answered.

“If you would please initial here, Miss Y/N. And then a signature here at the bottom and then you two will also need to sign as well,” she said.

After all the paperwork was done your date for insemination was set.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at you as you walked out of the clinic.

“Hey! Y/N! Hold on,” Jungkook said, walking forward.

“Huh? What is it?” You asked turning around.

Jungkook’s bright eyes blinded you as he gazed into your own. But you kept your breathing steady as you could.

“Do you want a ride home? Jimin and I cleared our schedules so we could be here today, and... Well we don’t want you to get hurt or anything,” he said, pointing to the black suburban.

“Oh, it’s alright I was gonna go to the bookstore and get a few things and then head home but I’ll be fine, no worries,” you smiled.

“We insist, Y/N,” Jimin said, walking forward to take his partner’s hand.

“Um, well... It’s really not that far, I’m sure it’ll be okay,” you said.

“Well, if you’re really sure,” Jungkook said.

“Yeah, but I’ll see you two on Thursday right? That’s when I’m supposed to... Well, you know,” your said, looking down at your feet.

“Of course! If you want us to be there that is,” Jimin said.

“Yes, it’s your baby,” you said.

“Okay, we’ll see you Thursday then,” Jungkook agreed, waving at you before he and Jimin got into the suburban and left.

But you couldn’t help the feeling you had as you watched them drive away.

Sadness.

—

You walked into the clinic Thursday morning, sweat pooling in your palms. You were reaching the end of your wire at your apartment. And you weren’t going to get the money in time. You were worried and didn’t want to bother Namjoon and Jin... So you just kept it to yourself.

You felt the fear and worry eating you up inside as you sat in the waiting room.

The doctor called your name and you headed back towards the room, when someone shouted your name.

Jimin and Jungkook were there, smiling brightly at you.

Your heart eased at seeing the two men, so happy and radiant. Everything you weren’t currently. But, knowing you were giving them something so important really made you feel better. Even if it was just for the time being.

“Oh my gosh, we’re finally getting a baby!” Jimin squeaked.

“Easy, it’s probably not going to happen first try,” you reminded him of what the doctor said.

“Bet I could get you pregnant in one shot,” Jungkook smirked.

“Oh shush Kook. But if you got her pregnant you wouldn’t get those twins you want so badly now would you, butthead,” Jimin said, shoving the younger man around slightly.

You tried to keep yourself from blushing but the redness that twinged your cheeks was there regardless. You were here to get pregnant, that was the end goal of today.

“Alright, Miss Y/N, we’re going to take you back and get you all set and then Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon have said they wanted to take you home after. Is that alright with you?” The doctor asked.

“Yes, that’s fine,” you said.

“Okay, let’s head back then,” Jungkook gave you a gentle smile before Jimin came forward and gave your knuckles a quick kiss.

“Good luck, Y/N,” he said.

“Thanks,” you answered before heading back.

The whole process took around a hour and a half, most of it waiting.

The sensation wasn’t too bad, but you were a little uncomfortable. Everything was super sterile and not how you expected you’d get pregnant, but... It wasn’t your baby at the end of the day. You tried not to wiggle as you laid there, letting Jimin’s seed try to impregnate you.

Finally, the timer went off and you were allowed to leave to go home.

Jimin and Jungkook were sat in the waiting room, chatting with each other excitedly. You knew that this was it, that they were more than perfect for this baby. You were beyond happy you could give it to them.

“Y/N!” Jimin said, walking up to greet you.

“Hey,” you said easily, noticing Jungkook come up behind him.

“We’re here to take you home!” Jimin smiled.

“Thanks guys,” you said softly.

“We brought the car around already so you don’t have to walk too much. Don’t wanna spoil all our hard work,” Jimin said, looking at your tummy with affection.

“Like I said Jimin, it probably won’t happen this time. But you never know, you might have some strong swimmers,” you joked.

“You have no idea, Y/N,” he said, gazing into your eyes for a moment.

Your breath caught in your throat. He looked like an angel wrapped in sin, as if he were so good yet so bad for you. It made your head spin.

Jungkook held the car door open for you and you got in carefully. Jimin sat in the back with you while Jungkook sat up front.

Of course these two had a driver...

Jimin was looking out the window and noticed that they were getting into the sketchier part of town. His worry was eating him alive. He didn’t want the mother of his child staying here! That simply wouldn’t do.

You got out of the car, heading towards your apartment when the landlord approached you. Jungkook and Jimin were still getting out of the car when he exploded at you.

“There’s the little bitch now!” He growled, grabbing your wrist and twisting it painfully.

You yelped, trying not to move so much. It only made it hurt more.

“Let me go!” You said.

“You filthy cunt, you owe me almost six thousand dollars! And you dare to come back here without anything? Huh? Nothing? Where have you been huh? Selling your body to make some cash I bet, that’s what little whore’s like you do right? Fucking pathetic,” he spits at you.

“I-I just need a little more time-” a resounding smack is heard through the parking lot.

Jimin and Jungkook look up to see your head turned sharply to the side and a man gripping your wrist.

Both of the men flew off the handle.

“Let go of her you fucker!” Jungkook yelled, walking forward with purpose.

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Jimin growled, pulling you away from the man.

“Did you fucking hit her?” Jungkook said, looking at your reddened cheek.

“Bitch owes me money, she knows that-”

“Fucker!” Jungkook snarled, grabbing the man by his shirt and lifting him.

“Y/N? Sweetie can you hear me?” Jimin whispered. Your head was swimming with pain and discomfort. Your cheek was screaming at you. But what hurt worse was the embarrassment. They saw it all, that you couldn’t take care of yourself. How on earth were you going to take care of a baby if you got pregnant for nine months? Huh?

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, he hurt you. Jungkook put him down and call the cops,” Jimin said.

“I owe him money, I just-”

“You can’t arrest me! You fuckheads, do you know who I am?” He asked.

“Do you know who we are? Hi I’m Jeon Jungkook, heir to the Jeon Law Firm here in the city. You might have heard of us, and she is the mother of my future child and you won’t be putting your hands on her ever again,” Jungkook said.

“I just wanna leave, I don’t... I don’t wanna be here,” you whimpered.

“But Y/N,” Jimin said.

“Can we leave? Please?” You begged, looking up at him with a swollen cheek and glossy eyes. Jimin’s heart broke five times over, seeing you so upset.

“Jungkook, come on. Let’s go,” Jimin said.

“And leave her with this fucking piece of shit? I think not, no we’re going to-Y/N? Are you alright?” Jungkook asked, coming forward and looking at your face with a tenderness you didn’t know was there.

“We’ll take her home with us,” Jimin said easily.

“Okay, yeah. But we’re calling the cops on that dickbag when we get back. I want him arrested for hurting her,” Jungkook said with finality.

“Of course baby,” Jimin said, soothing the younger male.

“Can we just go?” You asked, looking up at them for a moment.

“Yes, of course we can, let’s get you in the car and go back to our place,” Jungkook said, coming forward and getting into the back seat this time. Jimin encouraged you to get inside, so you did, him following shortly thereafter.

“Take us home please,” Jungkook said, shutting the little window between the front of the car and the back.

You sat between the two men, each of them looking out the window and appearing to be deep in thought. You were as well. You hoped this didn’t affect your chances of getting pregnant. You don’t know what you’d do if you couldn’t get this baby. The prospect of so much money on the line, you very future.

Also, you worried for Jungkook and Jimin. You really wanted this to work for their sake too.

They’d been waiting so long.

You were swallowed into the dreamscape of your thoughts. Nothing really getting in or out of your mind. You were just reeling at everything that had happened in less than four hours. You had your first attempt at insemination, went home and got assaulted and now you were heading to the upper end of the city with the two men who wanted you to have a baby for them.

This was all so much to handle.

Finally, the car stopped moving and Jimin quickly ushered you out of the vehicle. You stood there and looked up at the stunning building with a weird sense of fear. It loomed over you, almost intimidatingly so.

Jimin told the driver to go park the car and take the rest of the day off while Jungkook gathered their things from the back. You looked around and noticed that people were staring at you.

No doubt you looked like a sore pink thumb right now. Tear stained and swollen cheeks making you look even more outlandish in the area. But, Jungkook quickly moved everyone inside.

The door man asked who you were and Jimin and Jungkook simply told the truth.

“She’s our surrogate, we’re having her stay with us for a while. If she needs anything, make sure she gets it!” Jimin said.

“Absolutely Mr. Park,” the doorman said.

“Come on Y/N,” Jungkook said, heading towards the elevator.

You followed behind them quickly, getting in the mirrored elevator. Looking at yourself you felt all the anxiety and fear come back. You didn’t belong here, you were wearing a pair of fucked up jeans, a flannel and t-shirt. They were dressed in beautiful clothing, dipped in the finest silks and satins.

You looked like a charity case no doubt.

It made your stomach churn in discomfort. But you kept your mouth shut. You were providing them with a service. And in turn they were paying you. It was a give and take situation. But you couldn’t help but feel as though you were taking more than you were giving.

Jungkook held the door while you and Jimin entered the house. You looked around and the apartment was massive. Bigger than your Aunt’s tiny house in the country. You wondered just how much money these two had.

Soon, Jimin was sitting you down on the couch and tending to your cheek. His heart crumpled when you flinched at his touch. He tried not to take it personally, you were literally just assaulted. But he hoped you weren’t scared of him, or Jungkook.

“Should I call the doctor?” Jungkook asked, coming in and sitting next to Jimin.

“No, she’s just a little swollen, she’ll be alright,” Jimin said, handing you the painkillers and some ice.

“Can she have that?” Jungkook asked, referring to the pain medicine.

“It’s acetaminophen she can have it,” Jimin confirmed.

“Okay,” he said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” Jimin asked, looking at you for any signs of discomfort.

“Not particularly, but I should eat. Especially today,” you said, a weak smile on your face. Jimin nodded, but headed towards the kitchen regardless.

Soon after, a wonderful aroma filled the apartment. But you hadn’t moved from the couch, keeping your eyes trained on the TV Jimin turned on for you. You didn’t particularly want to watch the news, but you weren’t sure on how to work this TV. It made your brain hurt. But, whatever, you kept your eyes on the screen, not looking anywhere in particular.

Jimin soon came out, wearing a smile that must be a signature for him or something. He told you dinner was ready and to follow him. Turning off the TV with a swipe of his finger on the screen you marveled at the technology.

He patted your cheek and brought you into the dining room.

Jungkook was finishing putting the food out when you sat down. He and Jimin were deep in conversation. You picked at your food, eating a few pieces if Jimin put them on your plate. But other than that, you sat unmoving in the corner.

You supposed you were still in shock of what had happened today.

Soon, you felt the distinct cramping in your lower stomach, something you were told is to be expected. Especially if the pregnancy took. Letting out a puff of air, you held your stomach. It wasn’t terrible, but the discomfort had you adjusting in your seat.

Jungkook’s head snapped in your direction, carefully observing you.

“Everything alright? Y/N?” He asked, cocking his head to the side in a cute way.

Forcing a smile you nodded.

“Yeah, just cramping a little bit,” you said, keeping your hands together underneath the table.

“Is it bad?” Jungkook asked, leaning towards you.

“No-ah!” You said, clutching your stomach. It didn’t hurt as much as it caught you off guard. But the two men were beside you in seconds.

“Y/N? Do you want us to call the doctor?”

“Is there something we can get for you? Do you want more pain medicine?”

“N-No, honestly, I’m okay,” you said, giving them each a squeeze to their wrist.

Jimin nodded, standing up and moved to start cleaning up the meal. Jungkook placed a couple more pieces of meat on your plate, asking you to eat them. He thought it could help your cramping, but he mainly just wanted to see you eat something.

Soon, the pair of them had cleaned up the meal and had gathered some clothes for you to wear to bed.

“We’ll pick up some stuff for you to wear tomorrow,” Jungkook said smiling.

“N-No that’s alright I can go back and get my stuff,” you said.

“You’re not going anywhere near that building,” Jimin warned, voice low.

“What? I have to get my stuff-”

“We’ll have someone go collect your things and bring them back here,” Jimin said, careful.

“I can go it’s not a big deal-”

“Y/N, please, just let us take care of this,” Jungkook said, quietly coming over to your side.

You were far too tired to argue. But you already felt like a cat in a cage. So you waved off the disagreement and decided to just head to bed.

The cramping was still there, but not nearly as bad as it had been when you were at the table. Laying down helped, but you felt something in your underwear.

Quickly, you went to the bathroom and noticed some blood in your underwear. Biting your lip, you tried to keep yourself from panicking. Putting them back on you went to living room and found Jimin sitting on the couch, looking tired.

“J-Jimin,” you said quietly.

His head snapped up and he gave you a little smile.

“Yes, Y/N?” He asked, coming towards you. You sighed and ran your hands through your hair.

“I-I was bleeding,” you said, voice straining slightly.

“You were? Where?” He asked, brows furrowing.

“M-My, uh, I found it in my underwear,” you said, breathing in deeply.

“Was it a lot?” He asked, keeping a cool exterior.

“N-No, not a lot but it worried me,” you said, trying to keep yourself from freaking out on him.

“It’s normal to spot a little after the IUI, don’t worry. But tell me if anymore happens. They did just shove a tube up your business,” he said, laughing lightly.

Immediately you were put at ease. Sensing your relief, Jimin patted your shoulder.

“It’s okay to be nervous, we are,” Jimin said, nodding towards the closed door you assumed was to their bedroom.

“Yeah, I’m-I just really want this to work,” you confessed, feeling yourself relax a bit.

“We do too, more than anything,” Jimin answered, giving you a genuine grin.

“I’m glad that the baby will have you two as parents, makes me feel good knowing that they’ll be taken care of,” you smiled back.

Jimin’s face seemed to morph into a look of joy and agony at the same time.

“You’re too sweet, Y/N, honestly. Jungkook and I are beyond excited,” he explained.

“Have you always wanted to be a father?” You asked him, out of the blue. Jimin blushed and looked down at his feet.

“Y-Yeah, ever since I was little I always wanted a family to call my own. And when I met Jungkook I knew it was just meant to be you know? Like, everything just made sense,” he said, a sheepish look taking over his features.

“That’s so sweet,” you gushed.

“It’s the truth,” he shrugged.

“I want someone to look at me the way you look at Jungkook, like I’m their whole world and more. I’ve never been one for dating though,” you said, looking down at the floor, embarrassed.

“No? How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you had?” Jimin asked, not thinking. When the shocked look took over your face he back peddled. “I-I shouldn’t have asked, that doesn’t deem your worth or anything like that-”

“None,” you said, blushing bright red.

Jimin’s face changed.

“Tell me if I’m out of line here, but have you ever, uh... You know, um,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

“Oh? Sex? Yeah, I’ve done it before, but it wasn’t really anything special. I don’t even think I-um... Nevermind,” you said, biting your lip hard.

“You don’t think you what? You didn’t cum?” Jimin said, as if he were shocked.

“No! Now keep your voice down!” You yelped.

Jimin frowned.

“That’s horrible, you deserve better,” Jimin said matter of factly.

“It happens, but, this conversation has gotten away from us,” you said, trying to steer it away from your pathetic sex life and more towards the fact that you both need to go to bed. “I’m tired, had a long day.” You said, rubbing your arms.

“Of course, absolutely! If you need anything or something happens, our room is right here just come get us,” Jimin said.

“Okay, thanks,” you said, turning, but not before you wished him a good night.

Jimin gave you a small smile. “Good night, Y/N, sleep well.”

—

Soon your stuff was all moved into the boys apartment. You questioned when you would be leaving, but the boys said that you didn’t have to worry about departing for the foreseeable future.

They had originally wanted you to live with them if and when they found out you were pregnant, that way they could be there through it all. But, these stages after the insemination could be hard on you and they decided to keep you with them.

You felt like a little kid half the time, but you had to call in to work often because of these appointments. And quickly, they tired of it.

“Y/N, we love you and we want you to pick here to work, but honestly your attendance is a severe issue right now,” your supervisor said over the phone. You called in that day because you just were feeling super exhausted.

You hadn’t told them you’d signed up for a surrogacy. You weren’t sure how that would go over, but, maybe you had to if you wanted to save your job.

“I-I’m calling in all the time because I’m trying to get pregnant,” you said softly.

Laughter came from the other side of the phone.

You were being laughed at.

“Oh my God, Y/N, that’s hilarious! But seriously, I have to put you on a two week suspension without pay because-”

“Dawn, I'm serious. I signed up with the fertility clinic and I’m currently trying to become a surrogate for a lovely couple,” you said, honestly.

“Y/N, why did you sign up for that? As far as any of us knew, you weren’t that into kids,” Dawn said over the phone.

“I-I like kids, but the baby won’t be mine to keep. The couple gets to keep them once they are born. I lose all rights as a parent,” you explained.

“That’s kinda cruel... Let you carry the baby for nine months then force you to leave them. I don’t know if I could do that,” she said.

“I-It’s the way it is,” you said. “But I need to have the day off, I have an appointment at the clinic.”

“Y/N, would it be easier if we just let you quit?” Dawn said.

“What?!” You shrieked into the phone.

“Well, it’s a delicate time and we'd have you working on your feet for long hours. I don’t want anything to happen to you or your baby,” she said, sounding sad.

“But I don’t wanna leave you guys,” you whimpered.

“Well, once the little tike is born come back. We’ll hire you back, I promise. If you want to come back,” she offered.

“Y-You’ll really let me come back?” You said, biting your lip.

It would be nice to just focus on the pregnancy and helping Jungkook and Jimin. If you had the option, maybe it would be better to take her advice and go back when you were ready. Hopefully they don’t screw you over.

“Of course we will! We love you! But, right now isn’t the best time for you to be working. Focus on you and your little bundle okay? We’ll be waiting,” she said.

“Oh thank you Dawn! I love you guys too!”

After a little tears ‘see you later’, you hung up.

Soon, a soft knock came to your door. Looking up you saw Jungkook there, dressed to the nines looking at you. Raising a brow you assessed the situation.

“What’s up?” You said, setting your phone down to give him your undivided attention.

“I was wondering if you needed a ride to work, you’re already an hour late,” he said, pointing to the clock on your wall.

“Oh, about that,” you said, rubbing your hands together.

“Did something happen? Did they fire you for being our surrogate? Oh just let me make one phone call, that’s illegal! I’m a lawyer, let me talk some sense into them!” Jungkook said, turning to walk out.

“No, Jungkook! It’s fine, they told me to take the time off. To spend time focusing on myself and to take care of the baby,” you explained. “My job will be there when I’m ready to return.”

Jungkook stopped and looked at you. His features softened before nodding.

“Okay, but if they try to tell you you can’t go back when you’re ready, you just tell me. I won’t let anyone disrespect or lie to you,” he said, a stern look on his face.

“Thanks Jungkook, that means a lot,” you said, giving a smile.

“There’s food in the fridge, all you have to do is heat it up. You have the house to yourself so, do whatever you want,” Jungkook said, waving before walking out of your room.

You sat there for a minute, really mulling over what you wanted to do. Honestly, you were so sore and tired you just wanted to fall back asleep. But you decided that it was better to get up and do some activity. Hopefully that would be okay.

It had been about ten days since your IUI appointment and you were mainly just tired. Although fatigue was a symptom of an attachment. But that was the only symptom you were having, you were meant to test in a couple days to see if you were pregnant, but something had you worried.

If you weren’t pregnant, you’d have to wait a whole other month. They did tell you that sometimes it took multiple tries to successfully impregnate someone. But you really wanted this to work, you just wanted to get this going.

That way Jimin and Jungkook could have their baby already.

You knew they’d be amazing fathers, already with their dutiful actions towards you. So willing to do whatever you asked, but you tried your best not to pester them too much. You tried to make it as though you weren’t even there. But they insisted you join them for dinner so they could make sure you were eating well.

For your day you mainly just puttered around the house, picking up and doing little things that wouldn’t aggravate you. So, you settled down with a book in your hands and soft music playing in the background.

That’s how Jimin and Jungkook found you when they came home. Curled up on the couch with a novel between your fingers. Jimin smiled softly, looking at the picturesque scene.

“Do you think she’s pregnant?” Jungkook asked, looking at his boyfriend with apprehension.

“I hope so,” Jimin answered.

“She’s really tired lately, sleeping late and going to bed early. That’s a sign, right?” Jungkook said.

“It is, but that’s also a sign of a woman’s period coming up,” Jimin warned.

“Damn...” Jungkook said, rubbing his face.

“But I don’t know, she’s due to test soon so, we might have our baby,” Jimin soothed.

You looked up from your book, noticing the pair in the entryway. Giving them a shy smile, you waved, nose getting buried back in the book. Jimin laughed lightly, heading towards the kitchen.

The two cooked dinner, making something easy to digest. Your stomach was on the fritz yesterday so they want to make sure they don’t upset your sensitive tummy. But, as Jimin looked out at you reading on the couch, a blanket draped along your lap. He couldn’t help but love the domesticity of it all. You looked at peace, in your element and comfortable.

Jimin hoped it would stay that way. With you, comfy and cared for.

Jungkook rushed past with the boiling soup in his hands, moving quick like a little kid to set the table for you all. Jimin just laughed, smacking his butt when he came back.

“Hey! Paws off,” Jungkook pouted.

“Hmm? That’s not what you were saying the other night,” Jimin laughed at the scandalized look on Jungkook’s face. “I’m kidding, come on go get Y/N so we can eat.”

Jungkook went to gather you from the living room and was met with an unusual sight. You passed out, wrapped in the blanket with your book on the floor.

He smiled, moving towards you slowly. He placed a soft hand on your head, patting your hair gently. Your eyes opened slowly, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. Jungkook helped you up, leading you to the dining room.

The meal was quiet, Jungkook and Jimin making small talk with you, but mostly you were just eating peacefully.

You ate well and leaned back, as you tended to do when you were full and let out a huff. Jimin repressed the smile on his face with the back of his hand. Jungkook smiled openly, looking at your sleepy form.

Sitting back up you took a few more swallows of water before you stood up and thanked them for the meal and headed towards your room.

Jungkook and Jimin watched you go, each having a weird tightening in their chest at the sight of your swaying hips.

—

You had finally reached the two week mark.

Time to test.

Jimin and Jungkook went with you, driving you to the clinic for your appointment at the ass crack of dawn it felt like.

Jimin was chatting excitedly in the front seat with Jungkook. You could see the looks of love on their faces as they talked about their future with their child. It made butterflies rise in your stomach.

Quickly smacking your cheeks, you tried to forget the sensation of hope building in your belly.

Soon you were all at the clinic, Jimin helping you out of the car. The two men walked on either side of you, making sure everyone knew who you were here with. It made you feel protected, watched over.

Important.

After all the paperwork was done for the visit, Jungkook and Jimin sat down next to you. They interlocked their hands, smiling brightly at each other. You locked your hands together and looked down at them.

“Miss Y/N? Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon? Are you all ready?” A nurse called and you all headed back to a secluded room, a few chairs and the like ready. You saw the needles and everything set up and you swallowed hard.

You hated needles, with a passion.

But you’d done it before, so you’d do it again.

“Y/N? You okay?” Jungkook asked, looking at your paling face.

“Y-yeah, nervous around needles,” you confessed.

“Oh, do you want some water or something?”

“No I’m okay,” you encouraged.

“If you’re sure,” Jungkook said, looking like he wanted to do more...

“Alright! We’re gonna take some blood and a urine sample, so if you two would just wait outside for a moment while we get her changed, then you can come back in if you want,” the nurse explained.

You got changed and hopped up on the table.

They asked a bunch of questions, all fairly standard. Then they brought out the needles. Jimin saw you flinch when the packaging came off and you saw the syringe come closer.

“Hang on,” Jimin said, standing up.

The nurse stopped and looked up in confusion, that’s when Jimin took your hand in his and squeezed.

“You can hold my hand while they take your blood okay? Just squeeze if you need to,” he said, looking at your face for any signs of resistance.

You bit your lip and nodded.

The nurse took your blood quickly, getting a few vials full. Jungkook watched as his boyfriend held your hand the whole time, keeping you calm and at ease.

He hoped with everything he was that this had worked.

God, he wanted it to work so bad.

Soon, the two men were being ushered out of the room so you could do your urine sample.

After everything was done and over with, you got dressed and went to the waiting room. Jimin and Jungkook stood up when they saw you, waving you over to sit with them.

All three of you waited with baited breath as they ran the tests. They kept asking if you wanted anything, water, juice or something to eat. But you politely declined. Knowing if you put anything in your body right now you’d puke it up immediately with how nervous you were for the results.

They said it shouldn’t take too long.

It had been about an hour when a nurse popped her head out, signaling for all three of you to come back.

“Dr. Heinz will see you now,” she said, giving you all a small smile before leading you down the hallway towards the offices.

Shortly, you were sat on a comfortable sofa with Jungkook and Jimin in front of you. Jungkook and Jimin were holding onto each other so tight you feared for their circulation. But, Dr. Heinz was quick to get to the point.

“Well, I want to say, congratulations, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park... Y/N is pregnant,” he said, talking like you weren’t in the room.

“Oh my God!” Jungkook shouted, standing up and hugging Jimin to him tightly. They kissed several times, tears falling freely down the new father’s faces. Dr. Heinz let them have their moment, smiling at the happy couple. You looked down at your stomach and bit your lip.

So this was really happening...

“Jungkook, I love you,” Jimin said, holding onto his boyfriend tightly.

“I love you too babe, I love you too,” Jungkook affirmed.

“Okay we do have to discuss her health however,” Dr. Heinz said, having the men sit down quickly.

“Is she alright?” Jimin said, looking at you with worry written all over his features.

“She’s at a very fragile point in the pregnancy. IUI can be tricky so we need to be very careful with what happens next. I don’t want her doing anything strenuous. Especially with the lower body until we can get her in for an ultrasound. Her uterus looked good on her preliminary but getting pregnant can really affect a woman’s body, so we need to take all the precautions,” Dr. Heinz explained.

“But is she going to be okay?” Jungkook asked, placing a gentle hand on yours.

You looked at his big hand covering yours, blinking slowly.

“I’m worried about her low white blood cell count. That makes her more susceptible to colds and infections, so you need to be very careful. Her red blood cell count was also low, showing early signs of anemia. So lots of red meat and protein to help keep her levels up. Although the anemia will be aggravated by the pregnancy, so make sure she doesn’t stand up too fast or tax herself too much,” he said.

“I am right here,” you said, glaring at the doctor.

“Sorry Miss Y/N, they’re the parents in this situation. I want them to be informed of your situation,” Dr. Heinz said bluntly.

“There are four of us in this room, I’ll remind you of that. Don’t talk like I’m not here please,” you said, folding your hands and crossing your legs.

Jimin almost burst out laughing.

Damn you were feisty!

He really liked that...

“I-I apologize, Miss Y/N,” he said, swallowing quickly before continuing on. “Also, you’re going to start having more symptoms than the fatigue you mentioned. Morning sickness is extremely common and expected, although every woman is different. Headaches, dizziness and blurred vision are also to be noted. Even some spotting can happen, but please do tell us if you’re spotting or bleeding. Now, do any of you have questions?” The doctor asked, looking at the boys and you.

“Is there any way to know if we are expecting, more than one?” Jimin asked, looking down at your stomach with pure adoration on his face.

“We won’t really know until she’s further along. Quite a bit further actually. But for now, enjoy this. Enjoy the early stages, it’ll be tough but you can pull through. I wish you all the best of luck,” Dr. Heinz said, handing some paperwork over to Jungkook before the three of you stood up and headed out.

Jimin and Jungkook were so excited, chatting with each other about if they were having twins. If the baby was a boy or girl. You were in the car, hands folded in your lap while you looked out the window.

Honestly, you were scared out of your mind.

The doctor had mentioned this was a really fragile part of the pregnancy. That you’d have to be careful, not to mention it was important for your own health as well. If something happened to the baby, something could happen to you and vice versa.

Jungkook insisted on taking everyone out for dinner.

This was a big occasion after all.

Sitting down in the very resturant you all had your first meal in, felt kinda surreal.

Now, you were pregnant with their baby. It felt kinda full circle.

Jimin and Jungkook insisted on getting whatever you wanted. But you weren’t terribly hungry yet, maybe it was the nerves of the whole day catching up. But you ordered a few things, making sure to eat. You knew it made them happy when you did, because it showed you cared about your body and the life growing inside of you.

Jungkook was drinking, a lot if you were being honest. Jimin just watched him as his cheeks flushed red as he continued to talk animatedly at the two of you. Smiling, you filled up Jungkook’s water before urging him to drink some.

��Thanks youuu,” he said, beaming at you.

“You’re welcome, but drink up okay?” You said, gesturing towards the glass.

He did as you asked, drinking all the water. You sighed in relief, knowing at least he’d be hydrated when he went to bed.

“Well, guess you aren’t driving you big lug,” Jimin laughed as he hauled Jungkook out of the restaurant a while later.

“Mmm, we’re having a baby baby!” Jungkook cooed at Jimin, holding his cheeks in between his hands.

“Mhmm, yes we are. Now get in the back with Y/N, okay?” Jimin said, opening the back and helping his very tipsy boyfriend inside. You were about to climb in when Jimin placed his hands on your hips, causing you to jolt so hard you smacked your head on the roof of the car.

“Ow, fuck,” you said, holding your head tightly.

“Y/N!” Jimin yelped. Jungkook’s head popped up.

“What happened?” He asked, looking at you with bleary eyes.

“I just smacked my head, I’m alright,” you said, rubbing your head gingerly.

“Can I take a look?” Jimin asked, biting his plump lips harshly.

“Y-yeah,” you said, leaning towards him.

Jimin’s gentle hands on your scalp proved to be dangerous. Because now, you wanted him to touch you here all the time. Combing his fingers through your hair. Massaging the tender flesh there.

“Well, you aren’t bleeding, but you’ll have a massive bump for a few days no doubt,” he reasoned.

“She’s gonna have a massive bump here soon too!” Jungkook cheered happily, pointing at your stomach.

“Jungkook, enough,” Jimin warned.

Grumbling to himself, Jungkook backed off.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jimin asked. You nodded, already feeling the throbbing in the base of your skull starting.

“I’ll take a few pain killers when we get back,” you said.

“Okay,” Jimin said, running his hand from your head down to cradle your cheek in his palm. You’re cheeks heated up at the feeling of his skin on yours, but shortly he was retreating to the front of the car.

Soon, you were underway.

Jimin turned on the radio quietly, driving carefully around town.

Jungkook had managed to fall asleep against the window. When suddenly, the car was jerking to the side. Jimin laid on the horn, yelling a couple explicit words out the window. But, Jungkook’s body had already fallen into your lap.

His head rested comfortably against your thighs, arms draping across your legs. Jungkook continued to sleep peacefully while you inspected him. He had a beautiful nose, button like and slotting perfectly along with his already perfect features. His plush lips pouting as he slept. Your eyes widened at him, heart hammering in your chest as you gazed down at him.

He was incredibly handsome.

But, you knew his personality too. He was kind, but strong and sure of himself. He had an air of confidence that was almost infectious. But he also had a childish nature about him. Not immature, but there was something about the wonder in his eyes when he tried something new. Or the nostalgia that ran through him when he ate his favorite food or, just the sparkle in his eyes when Jimin came home.

You, as if possessed, took your hand and ran your fingers through his soft black hair. He groaned in his sleep, gripping your legs tighter. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, watching his face for any signs of discomfort.

Jimin looked in the rearview mirror and saw you stroking Jungkook’s head with a gentle hand. His heart thudded dangerously in his chest. You were so caring and tender, everything you did had purpose behind it.

Jimin felt relief flood him at the idea of you being the mother of he and Jungkook’s child. Technically just Jimin’s but Jungkook was also the father but he didn’t get any genetics in this one.

This one...

Did Jimin want to have more children?

You just got the announcement today and he was already giddy at the prospect of you growing large with his child. But confusion swept through him. Was this just because he was grateful to you? Or was it something more?

Looking at you and Jungkook in the back, he thinks he might already know the answer.

#ficswithluv #ksmutclub #BTS #BTS smut #Jikook x reader #Jikook #Bangtan #BTS fanfic #Jikook smut #Jikook x reader smut #Pregnancy au #Jimin x jungkook x reader #Surrogacy Au

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forestlingincorporated · 4 years ago

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I wanna talk about Janet Drake

I’m not against exaggeratedly evil versions of Tim’s parents, tbh. It’s fanfiction, if we can depict an Exaggeratedly Good version of Bruce (which we can, and I do, and I love) then we can depict the Drakes as Exaggeratedly Bad. As someone who personally identifies with Tim, and his brand of complicated parental abuse in particular, I find it cathartic to uncomplicate that abuse and rescue him from the Obviously Evil Bad People.

That said, since much of comics lore is passed down word of mouth, the oral tradition surrounding Tim has developed this idea of Janet as The Worse Parent between her and Jack that was never really present in the comics. We see much LESS of Janet, and we have 20 years worth of comics depicting Jack as a neglectful hotheaded idiot who ultimate does love his son. More importantly, Jack isn’t very much LIKE Tim, so there is a habit to attribute Tim’s traits to his mother... and, as someone who really really identifies with Tim, Tim has... some negative traits. Tim can be a bitch sometimes. He’s fiercely intelligent and sweet and kind, with a strong sense of justice, but he can be cold and judgmental and unthinking - he fights those traits, but he does have them.

And it is perfectly fine to depict Janet that way. I’ve enjoyed depictions of Cold Calculating Janet Drake, but it’s not the ONLY option, and I want to challenge fans to consider different avenues. Tim could pick up these traits from anywhere: a nanny, Mrs. Mc Ilvaine (”Mrs. Mac”), a teacher, tv, Sherlock Holmes novels, Bruce Wayne himself. Tim is capable of not being like EITHER parent.

So, what do we KNOW about Janet? (I’ll also touch on Jack, but only in scenes he appears with Janet.)

When Janet was first introduced she was depicted as a gentle but “modern” woman. This was written in 1989, told by a 13 year old Tim, so this theoretically was meant to take place in 1979. I’m not here to give a lecture on the history of sex discrimination in the united states, but much of the legislation protecting women in the workforce or surrounding women’s bodily autonomy would have been very very new in this initial depiction.

Here, Janet is shown to be encouraging, emotional, maternal, and projects her own feelings onto Tim. Jack is shown to be slightly sexist, possibly discouraging, but not overbearing. And the artist is shown not to know how to draw children.

To insert some speculation, I think it’s important to note all the Drakes witnessed a terrible murder/accident that day. I point this out, because this is the last time Jack and Janet are depicted this way. It’s possible they changed as a result of this event specifically.

However, this is also a story being told by Tim. It’s also possible these events aren’t really “real” at all, and Tim is misremembering what his parents were like as a three-year-old, possibly projecting a more palatable version of his parents into the narrative. This is entirely up to personal interpretation.

In fact, the Drakes are shown in Legend of the Dark Knight attending Haly’s Circus, and the artist knows what a toddler looks like and they’re depicted as already having a slightly strained relationship. Jack is clearly on the defensive, and Janet seems to be passive-aggressive, though she could just be attempting to explain the situation to her toddler honestly. The intended tone isn’t especially clear.

I do want to point out, in this depiction, Tim isn’t being carried like he was in the previous one. He’s walking ahead of his parents, which isn’t a terrible horrible crime, but could be dangerous in a crowded place like the circus. Might be a subtle hint to his parents overall neglect.

Back to A Lonely Place of Dying, in Tim’s memories of the night he discovered Robin and Dick Grayson were the same person at nine-years-old, his parents are home, and watching TV together while Tim played... trucks, idk, in the living room with them. (This is semi-interesting, because you could say “oh, Tim liked vehicle toys as a kid” or you could extrapolate that this is another subtle indication of Jack’s sexism, providing Tim with appropriately “boy toys.” Either interpretation is valid. If Tim was assigned female at birth, would they have been given “girl toys,” or allowed to play with whatever they wanted?)

This is, to my knowledge, the only panel of the Drakes when Tim is between ages 3 and 13. They’re all together, which might indicate that the Drakes were home more often when Tim was 9, only later going on business trips when Tim was “old enough” but...

This is Tim’s boarding school when he’s 13. While most boarding schools in the US are for grades 9-12, Tim is clearly not a freshman at age 13; look how much younger the other kids in this panel are. In the US, the youngest you can attend most boarding schools is 7.

That means Tim could have begun going to boarding school anytime between 7 and 13. He most likely spent all of middle school in boarding school, at least. There are an almost infinite number of possible ways the Drakes handled having a business that required lots of international travel, an archeology hobby, AND a very young child. Janet staying home until Tim was 7, 11, 13, is equally possible as the Drakes having a nanny until 7, 11, 13. Tim just doesn’t talk about that period of his life very much.

(”What about Mrs. Mac?” - it is unclear when Mrs. Mac begins working for the Drakes. We only see her when Jack comes out of his coma. She could either be a long standing staff member, or a recent hire.)

Note: I’ve seen it said that it’s canon that “According to Tim, when his parents were home, they made a point to try and include him in their activities, bringing him along to events that were normally adults only.” I have never seen this panel, or I don’t remember it, so I cannot confirm, but I also cannot debunk this because... comics.

By the time Tim is 13, Jack and Janet are away on business trips a lot, with limited communication, and no firm return date. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say it was harder to communicate internationally in 1990 than it is today. If I’m not feeling generous, I’d say the Drakes are extremely wealthy, and international communication was easier than ever before in the 80s and 90s. They’re not even going home to see Tim in a week or two, they’re going home and calling Tim at boarding school in a week or two.

Even Bruce thinks its weird, though he doesn’t say so to Tim’s face. It’s written almost as if Tim’s parents’ neglect was meant to be a plot point that just got forgotten about.

Tim’s parents are fighting at this point (their poor assistant), but Janet still goes with Jack on these business trips. And she’s clearly involved in the business, somehow, but the comics never SAY what Janet’s JOB is. We’re told Jack is the exec, but Janet is ONLY ever referred to as Jack’s wife, though they’re later described as the “heads” of the company, plural.

Just to be clear, this is Jack’s business. There’s a perception that Jack is a bad business man because he and Janet fight over company decisions, and Jack looses the business after Janet dies, but Jack looses the company YEARS after Janet dies, and maintains it for about a year after No Man’s Land at that. We’re not told how Jack looses the business, but he’s got to be doing something right. Janet isn’t necessarily the “real brains” of Drake Industries.

And I’m not... gonna... touch the... exploitation and racism because... I’m not qualified to do that. But, here’s the panel. The Drakes sure seem exploitative and racist in their business decisions. Someone else can... analyze that with more nuance.

Regardless how how long they’ve been fighting, when their lives are in danger, the Drakes fall back into a loving husband and wife. Their marriage may be falling apart, but they do care about each other.

I want to show these panels because it shows that Tim and Jack do have things in common. They’re both level headed in a crisis and can be somewhat cold in their practicality. Janet meanwhile and silent. Jack is later willing rant and rave at their captors, but Janet remains silent.

That is, until they’re alone, and she finally lets herself fall apart.

God, Jack can be obnoxious. Janet just looks miserable and resigned. I actually think Tim takes after his parents in this respect in equal measure. Tim can have a temper, but he can also be fairly melancholy and defeatist.

Jack keeps reminding Janet to be strong and in control, which could be period typical sexism? But Jack seems so practiced and ready with the words of encouragement, and with Tim’s history with depression, I wonder if Janet has an inclination towards it as well.

As the end approaches, when Jack brings up Tim, Janet seems to have a lot of regret. She talks about “wasting” the good things, and I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to assume she’s talking about time spent with her only child.

From this point on, Janet is at times spoken of, but not seen. Like here, when Jack says Janet wouldn’t approve of him and Tim being so “far apart.” He says this after he tells him he takes back his threat to send him back to boarding school, which might imply Janet was against the idea of boarding school? Though she obviously lost that argument when she was alive.

Jack will of course renege on this later, but that’s Jack Drake for you.

Or here in Tim’s illness induced dream, where he gets everything he wants. Though, since this is a fantasy of Tim’s, where his father and girlfriend are both more accepting and understanding than they are in real life, I would take this depiction of Janet with a grain of salt.

After loosing Drake Industries, Jack thinks about Janet (though, they call her Catherine/Cathy for some fucking reason) during his depressive episode. And... uh...

Hallucinates a Valkyrie???? Is this symbolic of suicidal thoughts, or is she... real? Or is he seriously hallucinating?

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Jack’s mental state, the fact that he forgot Tim’s birthday, or that concerning “I was going to knock some sense into you but you’re still bigger than me” statement from Tim, we’re here to talk about Janet. And even though this entire arc is about Jack mourning his first wife, they don’t SAY anything about Janet herself at all. I mean, they don’t even get her name right, so I guess what was I expecting.

Then there’s Origins and Omens, which also doesn’t say anything about Janet, except that Tim’s memory of her is faulty - Janet was poisoned, her assistant Jeremy’s throat was slit on television, but Tim seems to have conflated the death he did see with the death he didn’t.

The only piece of canon to suggest that Janet might be cold, is Tim compares her to Thalia. And even then, he’s really just saying Janet was protective of him. It’s kind of a scary look to make at your kid, but Bruce does the same thing, so.

I do want to say... it’s not 100% clear if Tim is even talking about Janet. He could be talking about Dana. Dana was observably protective of Tim, though I don’t think he’s ever called her mom. He PROBABLY means Janet.

And finally we have Tim visiting his mother’s grave (in a duel Christian/Jewish cemetery, make of that what you will), where Tim says she was “a little religious.”

And that’s it! That is all we know about Janet Drake in New Earth. Hardly the Mom From Hell, but she isn’t perfect. I’d be interested in seeing some alternate depictions of her within the fandom.

I’m still gonna eat up Terrible Parents From Hell like a starving puppy dog, though. Just some food for creative thought.

#Tim Drake #janet drake #jack drake #robin #Red Robin #character analysis

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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years ago

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Spare Me A Moment? // Benedict Bridgerton

Request: I’d love to request a Benedict fic, if that’s okay ☺️ Maybe one where the reader doesnt belong to the ton and works for the Bridgertons and he falls for her but she can’t quite believe it (because why would he fall for someone of her status?) but eventually admits that she has feelings for him too? I hope this is something you’d like to write 🙈 Thank you so much 💛 - @dreaming-about-fanfictions

A/N: My first Bridgerton request and it’s from my dear, Astrid! Thank you, my lovely. I only hope I have done it justice. There are moments in this that are inspired by Downton Abbey (a different time period, I know, but I adapt) and the way the fic is written is meant to jump about POVs before finally bringing the reader or Benedict as the sole focus of the scene.

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Fem!Reader

Warnings: use of she/her pronouns, female reader, class differences, societal differences, pining, mutual pining, kissing, honest conversations, bridgertons being bridgertons, healthy family relationships.

Word Count: 5.4k

Of the families that resided in Grosvenor Square, there was not one so loved by their staff than that of the Bridgertons. They treated their staff fairly with decent wages and housing well as treating them with respect. The staff that work for the Bridgertons are so admired by the family that those in their employment tend not to leave for years on end; perfectly happy to remain devoted to one family.

To be a housemaid in a home such as Bridgerton House was an honour; as was repeated by the butler, Jenkins and the Head Housemaid, Mrs. Thorpe when (Y/N) began working in the house many years ago.

There was no other way to put it, (Y/N) adored working in Bridgerton House. She never minded the early starts, or the late finishes when the season was in full swing. She could never find herself bothered by having to pick up after the youngest children; their shoes and books lying about hallways and staircases, ready to cause an injury. (Y/N) was utterly devoted to the family; she could never imagine working anywhere else.

And if she had admired the second born Bridgerton with an interest that spoke to more of an employer/servant relationship, then that was (Y/N)’s cross to bear.

-----------

For months he had watched her from the centre of attention. He had observed how she held herself; tall and proud of the work she completed daily.

It had been a passing glance that had started it all. A polite smile and nod from her as Benedict passed in her the hallway, and suddenly he was hit with one, if not all, of Cupid’s arrows. After that, Benedict started to notice (Y/N) everywhere – started to notice the extra attention she paid Hyacinth when she was missing Gregory; he noticed how she would go out of her way to ensure his mother’s comfort in her drawing room, fluffing up cushions and pillows, and offering a blanket should there be a chill.

Benedict began to notice all of this and for a moment, he wondered whether he was beginning to lose his mind. He knew of the barriers between them, but that didn’t stop him from experience the raw emotion of wanting her. Benedict didn’t like to think how many hours of the day he devoted to thinking of her; dreaming of her.

All he wanted was to talk to her. To have a few minutes with her to plead his case; to help her understand that there is the very real possibility of a relationship between then should she feel the same way. How often he had dreamed of her feeling the same way…

A lovesick fool. Benedict Bridgerton was a lovesick fool but should (Y/N) spare him a moment, he would be her lovesick fool.

------------

From the very moment she woke, (Y/N) had been on her feet, rushing from room to room, tidying up after everyone. The whole Bridgerton family would be descending on the main house for the final meal of the day; they were welcoming Anthony and his new wife, Kate, home from their honeymoon.

That meant everything had to be perfect. That meant there was very little time to wander through the house; Jenkins was already close to tears; he could not be pushed any further.

The chiming of the grandfather clock in the hallway has (Y/N) hastening her steps, trying not to look too rushed as she thinks of the dinner service still needing to be taken upstairs and the wine to decant and the port to breathe. Whilst Anthony had a collection of whiskies and brandies in his study, the port was kept to the realm of the butler – Jenkins knew exactly what to buy and when to serve it. Tonight was one such occasion, and it still needed to breathe.

“(Y/N)!” Benedict calls, hurrying after her as she makes her way back to her quarters to dress for the dinner service. Jenkins, the Butler, would not be best pleased if she were to show up late.

“Mr. Bridgerton, how can I help you?” (Y/N) asks, curtseying to the second-born Bridgerton before eyeing the grandfather clock and noting the time.

“Spare me a moment of your time, please?”

“You should be getting ready for dinner. I know that Benjamin has laid out your clothes.”

“I want to talk to you… only for a moment, I know you have jobs to attend to.”

Smoothing down her apron, (Y/N) smiles softly at the brunette. “What would you like to talk about?”

“I thought it was obvious but perhaps not,” Benedict murmurs to himself, practically ignoring her question.

“I beg your pardon, Mr. Bridgerton but I must be getting on.”

“No!” He all but shouts, reaching for your hand, “Spare me another moment of your time… please.”

She wavers as if caught between the berating she will no doubt receive from the Butler for being late to the dinner service or letting down her employer whom she stands in front of. After a moment’s silence, her decision is made. “How can I help you, Mr. Bridgerton?” She repeats.

“Call me Benedict, please.”

She shakes her head, “I’m afraid I cannot do that, Mr. Bridgerton. It would be improper.”

Benedict hesitates; his hand still outstretched towards her as if desperate to feel her underneath his palms. “I’ve gone about this all wrong,” He says, eyes sad.

“Pardon?”

“I’ve fallen in love with you,” Benedict confesses, speaking plainly as if he hasn’t changed her world in six words.

“What?” She gasps; propriety falling away from her for a moment as the words he uttered settle into her skin.

“I’ve fallen in love with you,” Benedict repeats, voice firmer as he becomes surer of himself.

“How?” She asks, her face and voice puzzled, “I’m a housemaid, Mr. Bridgerton.”

His eyebrows furrow as if such a thing shouldn’t matter in their world. Yet it does – status is everything; titles are everything. A man who hails from a family such as the Bridgertons could not marry, let alone fall in love with one of the serving class. It simply didn’t happen. There was the occasional affair, but (Y/N) knew herself well enough not to be reserved as a mistress – it was not her destiny. She was to marry for love.

“I don’t know how it happened, but I find myself thinking of you every waking minute of the day. I find it hard not to stare at you when I see you completing your duties. At night, I long for it to be you lying next to me instead of the emptiness of the bed. I don’t know how it happened, (Y/N). All I know is that I am in love with you. This is no farce or folly.”

The words fall over her as rain would fall over grass. They soak into her skin, mould to her bones and become part of her in the span of mere seconds. Mere seconds, and her world has changed. As much as she longed to hear those words from his lips, this could not happen. Moving away from him, her chest aching with every step, she whispers her excuse to escape, “I’m sorry, Mr. Bridgerton, I need to get back downstairs.”

Watching her walk away from him, Benedict feels something heavy settle in his chest, pressing his lungs down and making it difficult to breathe. The barriers between them were so entrenched into society, Benedict begins to worry that he has lost her before he every truly got to know her.

Shaking his head, determination sets his nerves to steel. He would try again, he promises himself. He would not pester, but he would do what he could to ensure a brighter future for the both of them.

----------

“We’re down a footman,” Jenkins panics, “I’ve had to send William to bed with a head cold. We’re down one footman in the dining room.”

“What do you propose we do?” Mrs. Thorpe asks of the grey-haired man. Hands on her hips and her lips, thin, Mrs. Thorpe was not a woman to be trifled with. She had not run Bridgerton House for close to thirty years for Jenkins’ panic to ruin a single evening. So far in their shared career with the Bridgerton family, his nerves had almost ruined an engagement party, a christening, an end of season masquerade ball and now, a traditional family dinner.

The colour fades from Jenkins’ face as he mutters, “I’m going to have to have a housemaid in the dining room.”

Mrs. Thorpe rolls her eyes at the antics of the overly dramatic butler. “It won’t be the end of the world to have a housemaid in the dining room. Take (Y/N) – she’s liked well enough by the family and knows how to serve.”

Jenkins sighs wearily as if the weight of the world rests upon his shoulders. “I suppose I have no choice. Will you let (Y/N) know?”

(Y/N) is walking down the stairs to the lower levels of the house when she hears Mrs. Thorpe call her name. Turning, as she lands on the bottom step, she has a fond smile on her face for the Head Housekeeper. “Mrs. Thorpe,” (Y/N) greets.

“We’re down a footman this evening, dear,” Mrs. Thorpe says in greeting, never one to beat around the bush, “Would you be able to cover the dining room with Jenkins and Benjamin?”

“The dining room?” (Y/N) questions as the rug is pulled from underneath her feet for the second time that afternoon. It would mean having to see Benedict once more, but what choice was there.

“Yes,” Mrs. Thorpe confirms, “There aren’t enough bodies to cover the whole family. Everyone is dining tonight.”

“Of course,” (Y/N) smiles, “Of course, I’ll help. I’ll also take William a tray when I get a moment’s reprieve.”

Mrs. Thorpe smiles; the corners of her eyes crinkling from the force of it. “You are a gem. Thank you, dear.”

(Y/N) nods, smiling at the Head Housekeeper though she knows it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Having to see Benedict so soon after his confession had sent her mind into overdrive; her stomach tying itself into knots – she could only hope that the gentleman wouldn’t say anything, wouldn’t humiliate her in front of his whole family.

Mrs. Thorpe touches (Y/N)’s shoulder, asking her softly, “Is everything okay, dear?”

(Y/N) nods, trying her best not to let her emotions show on her face. She had been blindsided by Benedict and his confession; didn’t ever expect such words to leave his mouth… well, expected them but never thought they would be directed at her.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Thorpe,” She smiles and whilst the Head Housekeep returns the smile, she does not believe the one on (Y/N)’s face for a moment.

“Are you sure you’re okay to help out in the dining room? Jenkins can always find someone else.”

(Y/N) shakes her head, knowing the butler better than she knows herself. “He would cause such a panic. No, it’s better I do it myself.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am,” She pats Mrs. Thorpe’s hand. “I am sure.”

-----------

It takes everything she has to stop her hands from shaking as she enters the dining room with her tray of food. Following Jenkins’ lead, (Y/N) holds her head high as she serves the Bridgertons, beginning with Anthony and then making her way from his right.

Benedict all but freezes in his spot when (Y/N) finally comes to serve from his left shoulder. He turns in his chair to find her staring down at him; a serving plate in her hand, the tongs pointed in his direction. Their fingers brush as Benedict reaches for the utensil sending a zap of static electricity up (Y/N)’s arm. She sucks in a breathe, desperate to keep the connection between them yet she is the one who straightens, who schools her face into a mask of polite interest.

“Thank you,” Benedict whispers, still unable to take his eyes off her.

“You’re welcome,” She replies, swiftly moving onto Gregory who sits patiently by Benedict’s side.

Jenkins who had noticed the exchange between Benedict and (Y/N) clears his throat, gaining the attention of the family waiting to start their meal. “I am terribly sorry for the informality. William took ill at the last moment and (Y/N) graciously offered to fill his shoes.”

Anthony Bridgerton smiles at (Y/N). “Thank you, (Y/N), for stepping in so quickly,” He states before turning his attention to Jenkins, “Has a tray been organised for William? Do you need us to contact the doctor?”

Jenkins watches the young Viscount with warm eyes; having known the Viscount since he was a babe in arms, it has been his pride and joy to watch him grow to the man he is today. “(Y/N) has offered to take a tray to William as soon as she is finished here. As for the doctor, my Lord, it seems only to be a head cold.”

“Let us know if anything changes, please.”

“Of course, my Lord.”

As food is served and wine is poured, happy and warm conversation flows through the Bridgerton family. Laughter is the most often heard sound in the Bridgerton home; it punctuates the air whether the chuckle and giggle comes from a member of the family or a member of staff.

Tonight is no different, it seems, as Hyacinth snorts midway through her laughter at Gregory’s latest antics. Visiting home for the weekend from Eton, Gregory was on hand to entertain his brothers and scandalise his dear mother with stories of his school life.

“I do hope you are paying attention in your lessons,” Violet admonishes her youngest son though there is nothing but maternal love in her voice.

Gregory smiles widely, holding a hand over his heart as he promises, “I do nothing less.”

His words receive an amused snort from all three brothers and a roll of eyes from his mother. (Y/N) turns her face away from the loving scene to keep the smile on her face from growing. This; this is what she years for – family, love, laughter and warmth. No matter how Benedict phrases his feelings, and no matter how she may feel for the Bridgerton, a relationship that harbours the four things (Y/N) holds dear would be impossible due to her station. A sad fact, but a universally accepted truth.

The topic of conversation once again shifts; this time focusing on the latest branch in literature. A novel had been published that had managed to scandalise not only the religious community, but also the scientific one. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was, to (Y/N), two things. Not only was it a book that promised the reader to be horrified, but it was written by a woman. Shelley was not the first female author, and she would not be the last but this latest venture into a new genre of literature inspired pride within (Y/N). With the growing availability of books through libraries, (Y/N) felt it was only time before something big happened in the fight for rights for women.

Though she kept those thoughts readily to herself.

“What do you think, (Y/N)?” Benedict asks, blue eyes sparkling over the rim his wine glass as every member of his family turns to look at her.

Eyes wide with shock, she glances over to Jenkins. He nods but he doesn’t look pleased at her having been called on by the employer. Taking a step forward, she curtsies slightly before answering, “I couldn’t possibly say, Mr. Bridgerton, sir. I haven’t read the book.”

“Come now, (Y/N),” Benedict continues, his smile growing wider, “You must have an opinion.”

“Benedict,” Violet chastises, “Leave the poor girl alone. She’s only serving tonight as William has fallen ill. There is no need to badger her.”

Violet smiles at (Y/N) apologetically as she takes a step back to the wall, her hands held neatly in front of her. Conversation soon turns to another subject, another topic which gives (Y/N) the space to breathe; to slow her racing heart.

Benedict’s eyes continue to steal glances of her figure for the rest of the meal. It feels close to a brand; the heat of his gaze burns through whatever shield she has up to the point where she is certain Benedict has laid her bare for all to see. It’s all she can think of; his keen gaze and his words to her before the meal.

Trying her best not to fidget, (Y/N) keeps her eyes focused on the portrait of a Bridgerton ancestor hung on the wall across from her. She only rouses herself from her nerves to serve the courses of the meal. (Y/N) cannot help but thank any god or deity out there when the dessert course is brought up and the meal is soon brought to a close.

-------------

It is easy to avoid someone when you ask for extra duties, (Y/N) thinks to herself as she carries a pile of dresses to be mended. The muslin is smooth against her skin as she lays the dresses out on the mending table before turning to find the sewing kit. Thankfully, for the dresses, there was not much to be done but mend a few holes that had torn near the hem. The danger of heels and quick walking women, (Y/N) humours.

It had been a week since the conversation with Benedict; his words constantly playing on her mind until she wakes in the middle of the night with them on her lips, as if she were reciting the conversation in her sleep.

Benedict had tried to gain her attention; he had made clear attempts at wanting to talk to her. However, she simply curtsied and went on her way. She didn’t know what to say to him; she couldn’t understand how he – the son of a Viscount, no less – had fallen in love with her.

It felt preposterous; it felt too good to be true. Yet as the oil lamps are dampened for the night and the other servants in the house have fallen asleep, (Y/N) lets herself dream of what it could be like to be loved by Benedict Bridgerton. She wonders about the curve of his mouth; what it feel like, whether he would smile into their kiss. She thinks of his hands; his long, artistic fingers and she briefly ponders whether he had ever drawn her, whether in his many sketchbooks there lies a portrait of her.

When she’s feeling a particular glutton for punishment, (Y/N) lets herself dream of a life with Benedict where class status didn’t matter. She thinks of what it would be like to wake up to him every morning; to feel the heaviness of his arm wrapped around her waist as he rises to consciousness with the sun. She yearns to know what it would feel like to be able to reach over and take his hand in hers, tangling their fingers together as if they had always meant to be intertwined.

The longing for him is what breaks her. It’s what causes the tears to roll down her face as she lets herself accept the fact that she is sure she has known for a long time. She lets herself accept that she had met the cliché of so many housemaids before her by falling in love with Benedict Bridgerton a long time ago, before he had even come to know her existence.

-----------

The drawing room on the upper level of the house was where Violet Bridgerton spent most of her day. On occasion, her sons’ joined the family, but for the most part, it was her daughters that kept her company. Violet remains occupied by her stitching patterns; a garden of tulips for the birth of Anthony’s darling new baby, however, she keeps a weather eye on Eloise and Hyacinth – her only daughters to remain at home and unmarried.

“Eloise,” Violet murmurs, “Would you be a dear and ring for some tea. My throat is parched.”

Eloise pauses in her writing; so occupied these days, Violet thinks as her second eldest daughter rises to ring for the kitchen. “What are you working on?” Violet asks, curiosity getting the better of her.

Eloise frowns, collecting the papers out of fear anyone should read them. “I’m writing to Penelope if you must know.”

“Writing? She lives just across the way, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind you calling on her.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t,” Eloise allows, “But there is nothing wrong with practicing my handwriting, is there mother?”

Violet smiles; a pained one that shows her exhaustion with her beloved daughter. “No, my dear. There is no harm in that.”

Eloise nods, smiling softly at her mother before returning to her letter. Violet watches her for a moment; the way her eyes read and reread the sentences written on the page – this was not a letter to Penelope; it was to a suitor. Violet knew full well, however, that Eloise would come to her when ready – she was not someone to be pushed into giving information.

Returning to her stitching, Violet finds that her attention is once more interrupted by the opening of the door. She sighs, placing the stitching down, curious as to whether she would get the piece done before the arrival of the sweet babe.

Turning to face the door, she is surprised to find her second-born, Benedict entering the room. His eyes, sad and his expression, solemn as he runs a hand again and again through his hair.

“Mother,” Benedict greets, leaning down to press a kiss to her ageing cheek. “May I speak with you about a private matter?”

Violet’s eyebrows furrow but she says nothing as she dismisses her daughters; each one complaining as they leave the room, closing the door behind them. At the click of the lock, Violet smiles warmly at her son – he was so different from Anthony and Colin, not the least interested in their games such as Pall Mall but would rather sit to the side with his sketchbook in hand. He had a boisterous streak; could play with the rest of them, but he had his moments where he fall into a tranquil state and produce artwork that could rival the greats.

Nerves tangling his stomach to pieces, Benedict begins to pace the room. His hands are hooked behind his back as he begins to pace backwards and forwards, trying to form sentences from the jumble of words in his mind. He knew, deep down, that whatever he should want to do with his life, his beloved mother would support him, but even Violet Bridgerton could not ignore the class lines so entrenched within society.

“Benedict, my dear, you’re beginning to make me dizzy. Stop pacing and tell me what’s wrong.”

Benedict pauses his pacing but does not sit down. Instead, he stands as still as a stone, hands gesturing wildly as he tries to form thoughts into sentences. Mouth opening and closing, he struggles of how to bring up the issue of love and marriage.

“You would never stand in the way of who we love, would you?” He finally asks, running a hand through his deep brown hair.

Violet frowns, “I would not considering they were within reason. Why? Have you fallen in love, Benedict?”

“I think… No. I know I have, but there’s a problem.”

“Are they a drunk?”

“No.”

“Do they gamble?”

“No.”

“Then whatever is the matter?”

“She’s a servant. A housemaid to be precise… in this house.”

Violet would be the first to admit that she is surprised by her son’s admission. Sighing, she pats the cushion next to her, urging her son to sit down. “Who?” she asks as Benedict falls into the seat beside her.

“(Y/N),” He admits, fiddling with the hem of his jacket.

She runs a hand through his hair, “Does she love you too?”

“I don’t know,” Benedict admits, “She ran off after I confessed.”

“Then I need to speak to her to find out once and for all,” Violet declares, smoothing out her skirts.

“Mother…” Benedict groans. Violet shakes her head, “Let me talk to her. I can reassure her in ways you cannot. I can tell her that I approve.”

“You approve?” He asks, shocked at the words leaving hid mother’s mouth. “I thought you would disapprove…”

“Because of her class? My dear boy, you have found your love match, that is all I wish for my children. Should (Y/N) feel the same then of course I approve. I would rather you be happy than miserable, my son.”

“Thank you, mother,” Benedict replies, kissing her cheek once again, “You’re truly the best there are.”

Violet blushes at her sons words, dismissing him with a wave of her fan. “Off with you, and ring for Jenkins before you go.”

Benedict bows before pulling the cord by the door. Leaving the room, Benedict cannot help the smile that crosses his face. He truly holds some hope that (Y/N) might feel the same as he does and if his mother should approve, then there should be no issue to their courting and their union.

----------------

(Y/N) wrings her hands together on entire walk to Lady Violet’s drawing room. Having been summoned by the Lady herself, this could be either of two things. One: she was about to find herself suddenly unemployed for reasons she did not yet know. Or two: Lady Violet knows about the conversation with Benedict.

Neither reason made (Y/N) feel particularly confident as she is shown into the drawing room. Her heart remains in her throat even as Lady Violet smiles at her warmly; gesturing for her to sit down across from her and take some tea.

Adding one lump of sugar to her tea, Lady Violet bluntly asks, “Do you love my son, (Y/N)?”

(Y/N) promptly drops her spoon into her tea causing it to splash on the table cover. “Oh!” She gasps, reaching for a napkin to clean up the mess as best she can, “I am so terribly sorry, Lady Bridgerton.”

Violet chuckles, “It’s no problem, (Y/N). Tea tends to wash out as I am sure you are well aware. I do not want to think of how many table cloths and dresses I have stained in my time… but I love the drink so many more stains are due to come.”

“My mother says that the world can be put to rights over a good cup of tea.”

“Your mother sounds very wise.”

“She is,” (Y/N) nods, smiling wistfully as she thinks of her mother with the fondness of a child. “I write to her nearly every day. She likes to hear about the city and what is happening. She feels as if the Bridgertons are her own family.”

Violet beams at that, “I am glad to hear it, (Y/N), but you have not answered my question.”

“I apologise, Lady Bridgerton.”

“Are you in love with Benedict?”

(Y/N) remains silent for a moment before beginning to nod her head. “I am. I know I am,” (Y/N) begins, “But…”

“But what?”

“I could bring nothing to the courtship and then nothing to the marriage. My family are not rich enough for me to have a dowry; I have no title or land; I barely know proper etiquette – I would offend everyone the moment I stepped through the door. On top of that, think of the social connections Benedict would lose – there would be families who would never speak to him again all because he had the rotten luck to fall in love with me.”

Violet’s blue eyes grow determined as she begins to list off: “You do not need a dowry; we have enough money as it is. There is no need for you to have a title or land, Benedict has his own homes. In terms of etiquette, you converse with me quite well, so I see no issue there. As for social connections, if people cannot see how happy you make my son then that is their issue, not yours and not Benedict’s.”

“What about the Viscount, Lady Bridgerton? Surely he has final say.”

A glimmer of something maternal shines in Violet’s eyes as she smiles. “Let me handle my eldest son. You have no reason to worry, (Y/N). Benedict loves you. I will not stand in the way of his happiness.”

“So you approve?” (Y/N) asks, forgetting herself for a brief moment before dipping her head in apology.

Violet dismisses her apology with a wave of her hand; after all, if things go to plan, she would be calling (Y/N) daughter in no time. “Do I approve of having to find another housemaid as talented as you? No, I do not. But do I approve of the lady that my son has given his heart to? Absolutely. To be entirely truthful, I would rather it be you than someone in society.”

“Thank you, Lady Bridgerton,” (Y/N) says gratefully, feeling the all too familiar prick of tears in the corner of her eyes.

“Now go,” Violet smiles, the familiar sting of tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, “Go find my son and tell him how you feel.”

Standing from the chair, (Y/N) curtsies with a smile before rushing from the room. Her mind in a daze as to what has truly happened just now.

-------------

(Y/N) finds Benedict in the library, sat awkwardly in one of the chairs with his sketchbook propped up in his lap. He’s focused entirely on the sketch at hand; his mouth set in a determined line as a finger delicately smudges part of his work.

For a single instant, (Y/N) watches Benedict in his element, finding that the butterflies in her stomach have turned from slumbering to a full blown riot at the mere sight of the man that had captured her heart. Still riding on the high from her conversation with Lady Bridgerton, (Y/N) steps further into the room. Benedict freezes in place at the sight of her stood by the stacks of books; her eyes are bright, and her skin flushed as she fiddles with the hem of her apron.

The painting flashes in his mind suddenly and his fingers twitch with the urge to turn the page of his sketchbook whilst simultaneously asking her to remain still so he can immortalise her on page. She’s perfect; she’s the perfect model and she doesn’t even realise it; Benedict thinks to himself.

“Spare me a moment?” She asks tentatively, as if worried of his reaction.

“All my moments are for you,” Benedict whispers honestly setting her heart racing in her chest. He stands from the chair, long legs coming out from under him as he leaves his sketchbook behind.

“All mine are for you too, if you’ll still have me…”

“What?”

“I love you too,” She confesses, voice small as she fiddles with her fingers, eyes cast on them – too scared to meet his gaze.

A finger under her chin has her meeting his deep blue eyes. Eyes that are alight with the happiness that surges through his veins; that highlight just how his heart sings at hearing those magical words leave her mouth.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” (Y/N) begins to ramble, “There is so much that is standing in the way for us, and I know you do not care or at least, I think you do not care but I cannot help but worry that if we were to happen, one day you would wake up and regret every moment of it. I am not from the same class as you, Benedict, I do not want to ruin you.”

A smile breaks across his face despite the stark desperation of her words. She furrows her eyebrows, half in curiosity, half in concealed frustration. “What are you smiling at?” She demands.

His hands move to cradle her face; thumbs rubbing over her cheekbones as he chuckles, “You called me ‘Benedict’.”

Thinking over her words, she smiles despite herself. “I suppose I did.”

“As for your worries: I do not think there will be one day in my future that I will not wake up and be grateful. However, that will only happen if you are in it – if I am waking up to you every morning. Darling, I do not think you can ruin me. I think you will be the making of me.”

“Do you promise? Not to regret me?” She whispers, a note of vulnerability in her voice.

“I promise,” He vows, pressing a kiss first to her forehead, then to her nose and cheeks. Then as he hovers above her lips, he whispers, “With every moment you spare me, I could never regret falling in love with you.”

******

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