#because I'll probably make more at some point

[fictionyoubelieve]

This video is literally propaganda, of exactly the kind that you should expect to find on TikTok, and you just don't notice or care because it confirms things that you want to believe anyway. The app promotes videos like this, and suppresses those that are unfavorable to the Chinese state, because that is required of them under the Chinese censorship regime.

To claim that the US is "just as bad or worse" than China on things like worker protections and freedom of speech is profoundly ignorant. The person in that video does not know what they are talking about, and you should not be spreading this uncritically.

This much is true: - The US and Chinese governments both do some good things and many bad things. - The people in both countries have a lot in common, share many of the same struggles, and should push both governments to be better.

However, for nearly all the specific claims, it's dead wrong:

Mass surveillance (in China; in the US) Yes, the US has seen expansion of its surveillance apparatus and erosion of our right to privacy in recent years (especially since the Patriot Act), but China blows everyone else out of the water. They have an immense network of state-controlled CCTV—much of it incorporating computer vision and facial recognition—with the explicit goal of monitoring 100% of public space. They also impose controls on digital activity that make anonymous or private (encrypted) communication practically impossible.

Censorship (in China; in the US) This is just laughable. Efforts to gloss over the uglier parts of US history in some public school districts are reprehensible, but it does not compare to China's "Great Firewall" and nationwide suppression of certain kinds of speech. The fact that you can openly discuss this in news and social media is its own proof. Good journalism being difficult to monetize is a bigger problem, but it's not like it's made easier by additionally having to get government approval for everything you publish and risking imprisonment if you don't.

Freedom of Speech/"You're trying to ban this app right now" The issue with TikTok is not about speech; the same videos and comments can be uploaded anywhere else. But since you mention it, we should note that TikTok was never available in China—they have their own version of the app, Douyin, which complies with their digital censorship and surveillance laws. Because, again, those are far more strict than what we have in the US.

Human Rights Violations Abortion access is a genuine W for China, I'll give you that one. But holy shit do they have some awful things going on too. Honestly it's too depressing for me to dig too far into this, or the Native American and Uyghur situations. It's all terrible.

Working Conditions You cannot be serious with this. You know about sweatshops. Working conditions in China are generally bad. Their lowest minimum wage nationally is less than $1.50/hr. The US has the fifth highest median income worldwide. Get real.

Healthcare Universal healthcare is enviable, and the US really needs to stop artificially restricting its supply of doctors. There's so many factors here that I don't know if comparison is meaningful, but as one point in our defense, healthcare outcomes are still generally better in the US than in China. We spend more for it, but we also earn more to begin with.

Gun Control Yeah, this one is obviously an L for the US. Some people care more about gun ownership; I'm not one of them.

Homelessness (in China; in the US) Homelessness rates per capita seem pretty similar between the two countries, and both are working to address it with government programs, to varying degrees of success. There are people sleeping on streets and under bridges in China, and they have their own anti-homeless architecture, too.

Democracy/Authoritarianism Weird, the video didn't mention this one. You can probably guess why.

you have more in common with the average citizen in china than any us politician

[velvetvexations]

Chiming in on the whole "do tmascs/the transandrophobia community actually harass tfems on the scale that is claimed" thing, I've been wondering that for a while too, especially since back when [Popular Trans Blogger] was dealing with The Most Normal CEO Ever I saw literally EVERY SINGLE major voice in transandrophobia circles immediately drop everything, put aside all the harassment and hate they had faced, make it clear that trans people being harmed by cishet society comes before discussing deeper theory, and basically non-stop post about how she didn't deserve that and openly critique tumblr's transphobia and how it hurts tfems despite the fact that that user and her followers had been consistently vile to transmascs. Like they all jumped up to add their voices against the banning, it was so fucking clear they were able to prioritize protecting trans people no matter what, and no one ever really talks about it because they also don't gloat about putting the swords down for the greater good. It's just something they know needs to be done and they won't paint themselves as heroes or martyr for it.

On the other hand, I've never in my entire life seen a big TRF or anyone who travels in those circles ever stick their neck out when tmascs are experiencing harassment and transphobia, not once. Not even when it leads to the same unjust bans that tfems face(which do happen, at similar rates to tfem bloggers like the idea that the trans bans are a tfem only thing is simply not true). Like I've blogs that are constantly posting about how "if you never post anything about supporting trans women then you're probably a secret transmisognist" turn around and respond to people pointing out that they never post anything even vaguely supportive of tmascs(not even talking about discourse just the usual "trans men are valid and deserve support" positivity stuff that goes around) who are on their "side" by saying "um I'm a trans woman and this is my personal blog so I don't have to say nice things about trans men ever and it says absolutely nothing about me that I never have anything kind or nice to say about even the transmascs that are on my side/valid in my opinion and actually it's bigoted for you to demand I say nice things about other trans people fuck you kthxbye" and I just. What??

I know that there have been some cases of tmasc/transandrophobia bloggers harassing a trans woman, but like. It's pretty rare and usually only a couple of people. And that's still bad ofc but the scale is different for sure. In terms of big, influential tumblr users I swear every single time a popular tfem gets deactivated all the transandrophobia bloggers jump to their defense, meanwhile TRFs just gleefully go around attacking every trans guy who so much as breathes in their direction and calls you a transmisognist if you point out that it's fucked of them to have a double standard about trans rights. Or acts like "I said something bigoted and other members of my community got mad" is harassment. Like [Popular Tfem Musician] was def getting Harassed but I watched the whole thing unfold and while there were a few shitty tmascs chiming in, overall the harassment was led by an entirely different group who was mad about something unrelated, they just happened at the same time so everyone figured ALL the harassment was coming from tmascs when it very much was not.

(Also tmasc/transandrophobia bloggers are also constantly adding "if you're a follower and I see you bothering the person I'm talking about I'll report and block you myself" they like care a lot about all trans people and will show tf up for even ones they disagree with or who have directly harmed them when push comes to shove. [Popular MLP Tfem Artist] is still getting accused of harassing other trans women despite her constantly instructing her audience to leave everyone alone. And I have def seen way more transandrophobia bloggers call out any tmascs or other trans people on "their" side get ignored and deplatformed if they prove to be bad actors. I don't see TRFs doing that like. Ever. Like they go "take our the trash in your community" to tmascs but pretend they can't read when someone asks them to denounce people who openly harasses tmascs. Or just makes excuses for them because surely we can't actually harm a trans man, it doesn't count.)

But yeah I fully assume the reason TRFs say no one ever harasses tmascs but that they harass tfems all the time is because they simply do not think harassing trans people is wrong so long as it's directed at the correct target. I mean why would the "trans men don't have real problems" crowd ever actually say anything nice about them or help them when they're being harassed or tell their followers to leave them alone? It's just really sad to watch, big tmasc bloggers are not harassing people the way the TRFs want everyone to think, and they certainly don't harass other trans people the way TRFs do, but they get burdened with the harassment accusations and no one thinks to even check if that's actually what's happening.

10/10, I have nothing to add.

[neerons]

Some of Yves Kloss’ best quotes

"He caaaaaaaaame! " (—Yves screaming about Clavis)

"You're the most common commoner I've ever seen. You have no redeeming features to speak of. Why should I accept someone like that?"

"Choosing me shows how sophisticated you are. You won't regret it." (—Yves' changing route quote)

"Y-You call that a CAKE...?" (—Yves reacting to Clavis' gift)

"If this shameless behavior goes on any longer, you’ll find out what happens if you test my patience. I suggest that you don’t." (—Yves defending Emma in front of a noblewoman that bullied her)

"ExCUSE me? What on earth are you doing hiding in my closet?!"

"Excuse me? And why not?! I’m going to tell everyone, so we can figure out how best to punish her for what she did to you! (…) Huh?! Hey, no, you’ve got it all wrong! This isn’t kindness! I just know I’d end up with the worst stomachache if something happened to you because of me!" (—Yves defending Emma)

"Why should you have to be the one to carry such a heavy burden? This is a problem between two nations. It’s not the sort of thing a simple, kind-hearted woman like yourself needs to get involved in."

"…Emma really is amazing. I could never do anything like that. I always wanted to be a bridge that could bring Obsidian and Rhodolite together… But I was despised just for being half-Obsidianite, and I accepted it all, like it was completely normal. I never did a single thing to actually improve the relationship between our countries. I didn’t even think I could. It takes courage and resolve to approach someone when you’re completely at odds with them. It’s not easy, not in the slightest. I bet it’s left Emma in tears countless times. But even so, she’s still here now, holding her head high and taking that first step towards peace. She really is… amazing. (…) She’s so beautiful it’s dazzling. (…) I’ve spent my whole life with my head down, seeing nothing but the ground at my feet. I really need to change—I need to learn from her example." (—Yves talking about Emma to Leon)

"Fhwhwh...?! Oh my god. How is my little brother this adorable?!" (—Yves talking about Licht)

"Know this: Yves Kloss loves you, and he's always thinking about you. There's not a day you're not in his thoughts."

"You do realize you're pretty, no matter what?"

"For the record? Each time you make me happy, I swear I'll make you even happier."

"H-Hey... Have you really not noticed that I, Yves Kloss, am waiting for the right moment to talk with you?"

"U-Um, Emma... Don't tell me you're... with both of them...?" (—Yves talking about Emma holding Gilbert's and Clavis' hands)

"Just the thought of being tossed into a den full of women sends a shiver up my spine..."

"Did you just say... LOVE?!" (—Yves to Licht and Leon)

"I guess you captivated me. You were always striving to be perfect, and... that's the Emma I fell in love with."

"Y-You think you can just be all cute and get away with it, huh?"

"Please don't cry, Emma. When you cry... my heart aches so badly I don't know what to do."

"I'm not a prince to be pitied. It doesn't matter if no one accepts me. The only one I need acceptance from is me. (...) It doesn't matter what other people say. What's the point, if you can't trust yourself, and believe in your own worth? Even if they trample you under their filthy, worn boots—so long as you hold your head high and believe in yourself, it'll only make you stronger."

"Okay, which of you gave Licht wine?! How many times have I told you not to?!"

"There are so many people in the world who hate me. But... I hate me more than any of them."

"Aww, Licht, don't be so down. Failure is an unavoidable part of cooking!" (—Yves reassuring a sulking Licht)

"I'm never making dessert for any of you ever again!! You're all horrible and you can eat dirt for all I care!"

"I am NOT a cat!!!"

"...I know that kindness of yours is probably a virtue, but I can't help worrying that you're going to kindness yourself to death one day."

"What? No! I didn't meow. Why on earth would I meow?!"

"You're my goddess of happiness. I... thank you for coming, Emma."

"He's such a brazen fool! Not a principled bone in his body, and he's incorrigible to boot!" (—Yves talking about Nokto)

"Listen, you didn't hear this from me, but... Licht made almost five hundred attempts before he baked an edible batch of cookies. (...) That boy really loves you a lot. So much that it gives me heartburn just thinking about it."

"I often get told that I don't have luck. But when I talk to you, I feel like my life isn't all that bad."

"I hope she comes soo... WAHH! W-Warn me when you come!"

[lj-lephemstar]

Progress Checkup! (Jan. 2025) | Scratchin' Melodii Devlog

Hey guys! Time for another progress checkup; This is actually the first one of the new year! I hope you were all able to enjoy the holidays. I took a bit of a break from working on most stuff last month and have been getting back on things this month. First, I wanna thank everyone who's wishlisted Scratchin' Melodii on Steam! So far, the game's gotten over 17,000 wishlists! Thanks so much for the support!

In the previous devlog, I mentioned some changes to the rhythm system. In the Dragon Funk preview, you can see the new rhythm system and character icons I mentioned in the previous devlog! Actually, let's unpack some of the new things you're seeing in action there:

Hold Notes This is the first song in the game to include hold-notes! They mostly work the same as they would in any other rhythm game. However, since this game has an emphasis on self expression, moving the control stick during these will let you tune the note's pitch-bend for extra expression points! I showed that off in a post here. As for Pow Notes, I've been working on a way to let the player get expression points from these too! I'd like for most of the special notes like these to be not just a gimmick, but a tool that the player can use to their advantage.

Quadruple Lines Yep! The first blue line in this one is extra long and has 4 rows! Fun fact actually, I had to implement this feature after I realized that part of the song was too long to fit in just two rows. It was pretty difficult to figure out both how to do it and how to execute it in a way that doesn't feel too jarring, but I'm pretty satisfied with the results! In fact, barely anyone's even noticed it; I guess that's just how natural it feels! Not sure how much more often I'll be having lines longer than two rows, but it's great that I have the option now.

AutoPlay You might also notice that the player inputs are perfectly timed... TOO perfect... that's because I've developed an autoplay feature for the game! At the moment, it's mostly for debugging and stuff, but if all goes according to plan, AutoPlay Mode and Replays should hopefully be available to players as well in some form when the game comes out!

"Next" Indicator & Other UI Related QoL Some of the top things players said they had trouble with in the demo were related to being prepared for the next line. So, if you look at the right-end of the rhythm bars, you'll see a little tab that shows the color and amount of rows the next line will have! Also, now each line's suggested notes can be seen before the rival performs them. This did take some thought, as I actually kinda still liked the idea of it appearing as if the characters were making it up on the spot, but to put game design first, it makes more sense to have it displayed as soon as possible so the player has more time to react and prepare. This also opens up more possibilities for future mechanics, so in the long run, I think I've made the best choice here.

Now, let's get into what I've been and/or will be working on that you haven't seen yet!

Act 2's Boss The music for the Act 2 Boss is  nearly complete! I'll likely be starting to animate it pretty soon. This song is the longest one I've done so far, clocking at a duration of a little over 3 minutes long!

More Animation Updates for Stir & Mix At this point, I've done even more cleanups on the sequence you saw in the last devlog and I've finished animating the "I wanna" scene of the song, which will probably have the most changes out of any other scene in the song. When I first animated Stir & Mix, I didn't quite have the time or skills to do everything I really wanted to do with it. That scene in particular I felt was WAY too stiff and boring, especially compared to the more dynamic and fluid scenes that appear in some of the other the stages now. I'd say I'm about halfway done retouching all the animations for this one!

Refined Model Sheets I don't talk about these very often, but sometime around 2023 I started using model/reference sheets for the characters. (I might show them off someday, but for now they're staying private!) Before this point, the designs are pretty inconsistent from shot to shot, so this helped a lot with that. Recently, I've done some revisions I'm really pleased with. Their designs are finally becoming... well, final! I'll be reworking the affected characters' hub world sprites at some point to reflect these changes.

Slight Reworks for some Act 1 Songs On the sound side, Stir & Mix's vocals have been reworked again! As I've mentioned in the previous devlog, 2cada's tuning style and techniques have evolved a bit since we first started working together, so we thought it'd be fun to go back and incorporate some of that into it. We'll also probably be reworking the structure of Nami's song a little bit at some point just to make it a feel a bit more solid, which may require a new line or two from her voice actor, Meggie-Elise! So funnily enough, it seems some of the songs will have end up having TWO unused beta versions after this.

Also, a quick PSA: Please note that beta versions of content will NOT be included in the full game. I've heard people ask for them to be "brought back" or toggleable, but in my situation something like that is both easier said than done and I also just... don't want to LOL. With as many directions I can take this game, I know I can't satisfy everyone, but I can make a game that satisfies me, so I'm aiming for that! And hey, maybe other people will like it too.

I think that's all I wanna talk about for now! Thanks so much for reading. It can be a bit of a daunting task to write these at times, but I'm glad to keep you up to date on the project when I can.

-LJ

[mayapapaya33]

Well, I haven't read the origins comic yet, so I'll take your word for that. Some of the comic stuff is a bit wibbly on canon so I'm not sure if I do take it as campaign canon really, but I'll just go with it for the purposes of this conversation. (The fact that she never once mentions being run out of town by Yeza in the campaign makes that a little weird but sure ok. It also feels a little retconny to brush over her major fear that her family would reject her even if they DID know it was her under the curse, which was what was implied to be a big reason she stayed away in the campaign, in favor of it being because they DID chase her away based purely on what she looked like before she could say anything. It feels...strange. I'm not sure how I feel about it, I'll have to think about it. It just feels like after the fact justification of her staying away from them to me, but oh well. LET WOMEN BE FLAWED 2025! lol I am eventually going to get my hands on all of the origins comics, I just haven't done so yet.)

My point wasn't really a moral argument about Veth and Lilliana having done equally bad things in the world, obviously that's not true. I could have said It better, but I guess I just thought that was obvious and I was tired? lol, silly me. So to make it clearer: Veth is a hero who helped save the world, and Liliana fell in with a cult and did terrible things under the woefully misguided belief she was doing the right thing. I'm more saying I could see Veth turning out like Liliana if things went differently and their initial act of abandonment is fundamentally similar. Also, it's not just the hag thing btw, that was just the most obvious and memorable example I could reference and know everyone would know what I was talking about without writing a 5 page essay and hunting down obscure time stamps lol.

Another example was her stance in that discussion about justice and vengeance from ep 98 (26:26) with Caduceus. Cad basically said: Hey, going after criminals in the Empire sounds great if you can be smart about it, but if you're just doing it to make yourself feel better, I don't really see the point of that, so maybe don't because you'll probably restart the war if you aren't extremely careful. And Veth's response was very understandable from her characters pov, but makes me think that, yeah, in the right circumstances, she'll do what she wants, when she wants, and damn the consequences and it won't be about justice, it'll be about making herself feel good and she'll find the internal justification she needs to. "You can stand by -You can just watch bad people get away with it?" If the price of stopping one bad person is reigniting a WAR, um yeah, I can Veth. He's basically saying, don't cause more problems than you are going to fix by your actions, and interrogate your motivations and she wasn't having it. I think he might have gotten through to her in the end but I'm not sure because they "dissolved" using mouth sounds and hand waving into the next scene of Jester finding Marion.

There are many things that make me think this about her. Anger and desperation can cause people to make poor decisions. (I think you might have misconstrued the one bit where I was debating whether letting your family think you were dead and staying gone or just saying goodbye and abandoning them was actually worse or not, I personally vote dead being worse but I'm genuinely not sure, like I said. So, in that one aspect I think Veth's worse, but not for everything lol. The misguided hope left behind from what Liliana did might be worse.)

My point was that they both abandoned their families in order to solve a problem. Yes, Liliana left "voluntarily" right from the start in the sense that she wasn't kidnapped by goblins and transformed against her will, her "against her will change" was foisted upon her by a God Eater trapped in moon jail instead. She was essentially kidnapped by her own powers, she couldn't control them and needed to figure out what they were and how to deal with them. So yes, it was a choice for her to leave as you so aptly pointed out, just not quite as voluntary a choice as people keep presenting it as. I suppose it's more accurate for me to say it was Liliana's choice to leave, and Veth's choice to STAY gone (yes, even with the addition of the comic lore).

Don't you remember early campaign Imogen constantly having to be careful and worried about her telepathy? How it hurt her to be in large crowds? How her town DID treat her like garbage, like a pariah, "like an outright monster" even. It's not like Liliana left for fun. She was scared she was going to hurt someone if she didn't learn how to control herself, and worried that Imogen would develop those powers too. (That was her initial reasoning, and then things devolved of course). You said it yourself; The Grim Verity was taking too long, and she wanted to go home so she fell in with Ludinus and co because he promised answers and a solution.

Veth's initial separation from her family OBVIOUSLY wasn't her fault, and apparently in the comics she tried to go home and was run off for looking like a goblin. Well, that truly sucks for Comic Book Veth and she has my sympathy. There are still a variety of things she could have done, including once she befriended Caleb enough where she trusted him, have him go to Yeza in person and explain the curse and everything while she hid at the outskirts of town. She could have told Caleb a bunch of things only Veth would know to help convince Yeza, Etc.

At a certain point, Veth's Choice to stay away from her family was just as voluntary as Liliana's. She could have tried (or tried again if comics are canon) at any time, and she didn't. The problem wasn't solved so they "couldn't" go home and then events spiraled. Again, they aren't the same, I just think their situations parallel each other interestingly. Becoming "not a goblin" was not the only way for Veth to reunite with her family. It's perfectly understandable that she thought that it was considering all of her trauma and her shame and her fear, but that doesn't make it true. It was still an active choice that she made to not try to reunite with her family until she looked "normal" again, even once her circumstances had changed and she could have had help. She didn't try because she didn't want her family seeing her like that and because she was scared of what they would think. (Again, very understandable, but still a choice). What if Caleb couldn't find a way to change her back into a halfling? Would she never have gone home, continuing to look for a solution?

Liliana "couldn't" go home until she understood and could control her powers, a reasonable yet tragic decision, which then spiraled into it being that she "couldn't" go home until she helped "save" the world from the tyranny of the Gods, etc. Somewhat less reasonable I think you'll agree. How long does Veth's decision to not try (or not try again) to reunite with her family until she's no longer a goblin remain reasonable? One year? Five years? Ten years? It was a combination of luck and hard work that got her a new body as relatively fast as she did. Caleb and Essek meeting and becoming magic bffs might never have happened without Caleb's "I'm never going back to jail" moment in the Bright Queen's throne room for example lol.

More than all of that though, I'm not a huge fan of Veth's parenting while she IS present in Luc's life but seeing as Liliana hasn't really been present in Imogen's life for more than like a month, that's about where any parallels or comparisons stop lmfao. A lot of Veth's bad parenting once she's back in Luc's life is also due to the fact that Sam Riegel is a comedian first and an actor second so if he sees an opportunity to be funny, he'll pounce. Which unfortunately for poor Veth, does mean that if you look at her with a sober eye she comes across as a dreadful parent. Hilarious of course, but I did end up feeling bad for Yeza whenever I saw him futilely trying to be responsible whenever the M9 came trampling through their lives being bad influences. Honestly, she wonders why teenage Luc is like that! I learned it from watching you mom!

If the Good Moms of Critical Role ever learn about the shit Liliana's pulled it's on sight 😤

[love-byers]

"Not Kids Anymore" connection

who ordered more byler music coding??

alright, so the OST song that plays during the byler rain fight is titled "Not Kids Anymore", obviously quoting mike's line "But we're not kids anymore." the line that triggers the song, so the line that changes/emphasizes the tone, is "It's not my fault you don't like girls!". it cuts to will's reaction and the music begins. i know we all know the rain fight by heart, but i'm gonna add the dialogue anyway

Mike: Will, come on. You can't leave, it's raining. Hey, I said I was sorry, alright? It's a cool campaign it's really cool! We're just not in the mood right now.

Will: Yeah, Mike, that's the problem, you guys are never in the mood anymore! You're ruining our party!

Mike: That's not true!

Will: Really? Where's Dustin right now?

Mike: ...

Will: See? You don't know, and you don't even care, and obviously he doesn't either, and I don't blame him! You're destroying everything, and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?!

Mike: El's not stupid! It's not my fault you don't like girls!

*Not Kids Anymore begins*

Will: ...

Mike: I'm not trying to be a jerk. Okay? But we're not kids anymore. I mean what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?

Will: Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.

*Will gets on his bike and leaves*

Mike: Will. Will! Will come on!

we will come back to this in a moment

the only other time "Not Kids Anymore" has played is in s4 ep1. It plays when lucas dustin and mike are arguing over the basketball championship and hellfire. again i'm gonna show the entire convo just to have full context since it's pretty much all going to be relevant.

Lucas: I don't get the big deal. Just talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire to another night.

Dustin: "Just talk to Eddie."

Mike: Why don't you just talk to your coach and get him to move the game?

Dustin: I think that's a great idea, Mike!

Mike: Thank you, Dustin!

Lucas: This is the championship game!

Dustin: This is the end of Eddie's campaign! A semester of adventuring has led to this moment, and we need you!

Mike: Yeah, and the Tigers don't. You've been on the bench all year.

Lucas: That's not the point.

Dustin: Please, arrive at the point.

Lucas: If I get in good with these guys, I'll be in the popular crowd, and then you guys will be too.

Mike: Has it ever occurred to you that we don't want to be popular?

Lucas: So you want to be stuck with the nerds and freaks for three more years?

Dustin: We are nerds and freaks!

Lucas: Yeah, but maybe we don't have to be!

*Not Kids Anymore begins*

Lucas: Look, I'm tired of being bullied. I'm tired of girls laughing at us. I'm tired of feeling like a loser. We came to high school wanting things to be different, right?

*Mike and Dustin nod*

Lucas: So now we have that chance. I skip tonight and that's all out the window. So I'm asking you guys, as a friend, just talk to Eddie, get him to move Hellfire. Come to my game. Please.

you're probably starting to see where i'm going with this lol

before i go into it i want to say that it is undeniable that these scenes are connected, clearly. there are over a hundred other songs in the ST OST albums and they chose this one. there is undoubtedly connections and subtext.

so clearly lucas is saying he is aware of the fact that he is a nerd/freak, but he doesn't want to be. he wants to get in with the popular crowd. hanging out with them and being on the basketball team despite always being on the bench is something he's doing on purpose, a choice he's making, because he wants to be perceived a certain way. he wants to be perceived as cool, as normal.

lucas is skipping out on dnd because he's trying to be normal.

so what's the connection here? is it just that lucas and mike both don't want to play dnd? cause that's not really the case, at least for lucas. he wants to play dnd, he just wants them to move it to a different night so he can go to the game. it's a cool campaign, it's really cool! we're just not in the mood right now.

lets compare some other lines from these two scenes

Yeah, and the Tigers don't. You've been on the bench all year. You're destroying everything, and for what?! So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?!

mike and will are both saying the sacrifice being made is stupid because the action is empty and boring and meaningless.

this also reminds me of that ted quote "You're on the bench, son." obviously talking to/about mike.

you could also look at it as will saying (not literally saying, but a coded way) that he actually needs mike while el does not, clearly, since all they do is make out meanwhile will genuinely loves mike and wants to connect with him. will needs mike. Yeah, and the Tigers don't. You've been on the bench all year.

So you want to be stuck with the nerds and freaks for three more years? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?

Yeah. I guess I did. I really did. We are nerds and freaks!

i feel like these are kind of self explanatory lol, i can't really think of anything to say about it

i guess the fact that they're both insinuating that this is what will happen to themselves if they don't act. lucas doesn't want to be stuck with the nerds and freaks, and mike doesn't want to be gay lmfao. dnd in mikes basement is canonically a metaphor for will's love for mike, so thats not delusional at all sorry

If I get in good with these guys, I'll be in the popular crowd, and then you guys will be too. What did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends?

i've always found that mike line interesting. it's not the way someone who is in love talks about their bf/gf. mike didn't fall in love (at first sight), he got a girlfriend. he acquired a girlfriend. saying it like that kind of gives the implication that mike sees his relationship as an action that everyone must take at a certain point in their life, like it's just what you're supposed to do. that's what normal people do.

lucas knows what he is. he's a nerd, he's a freak, but wants to change. he wants to be perceived as cool and normal. and he is purposefully pulling away from his friends to spend time with other cool, normal people which will make him cool and normal too. and he wants his friends to want the same things he does.

Yeah, but maybe we don't have to be! It's not my fault you don't like girls!

these are the lines that trigger the music, so the turning point of the scene, the climax. how are they similar? well, it seems like both of them are acknowledging a choice. lucas is acknowledging the choice of getting in with the popular crowd, even if it means pretending to be someone you're not, a choice he has already made, and a choice he wants dustin and mike to make. soooo it seems like mike is acknowledging the choice of liking girls/dating girls, a choice he has already made, even if it means pretending to be someone you're not, a choice he wants will to make (or is at least acknowledging that will has not made that choice yet, and that it's not mike's fault).

they are both acknowledging the choice to conform.

"It's forced confirming. That's what killing the kids. That's the real monster."

i will also point out the differences in the cinematography of these scenes. the rain fight is an over the shoulder (we can see the back of wills head and his shoulder in the corner) and is closer up than the s4 scene. the s4 scene is warm and colorful while the rain fight is pale and desaturated. that's color grading, which is all done in post production. basically, the rain fight is way more intimate and serious because this is an argument between two people who are in love, meanwhile the s4 scene is an argument between friends.

its also generally interesting that mike is in the both of these scenes, but on opposite sides. in the rain fight he is the one conforming, and in the s4 scene is anti-conformity. so if mike doesn't want to be popular, doesn't care if he's associated with nerds and freaks, proudly deems himself a nerd and freak, what was his deal in s3? easy question, he's queer. next

this parallel, in my opinion, carries over into another scene which i talked about in this post. it all makes a lot of sense tied together!

have a great day byler nation

[allllium]

Master Plan Pt. 2

Jason x reader fake dating

~ This is a little short but the next one will be longer

~ WC: 899, They discuss a fake background

~ Jason is anxious about your plan

"Why do you plan to do? Walk in, say we're dating, and expect them all to believe it? Out of nowhere?" You ask him in confusion, Jason knows his family very well and he knows they wouldn't fall for it.

"Well what do you want to do? They won't believe it either way."

"Don't be such a downer."

"I still don't know why we're doing this. It seems dramatic."

"Yes it does that's exactly the point Jason."

"None of this makes any sense." He rolls his eyes and walks into his bedroom. You follow closely behind him.

"It makes perfect sense. Seeing your family will help you feel better, Jason whether you want to believe it or not. And this way, they'll all be so thrown off by the announcement of our relationship, they won't ask about other things. You can spend the next few weeks playing pretend and healing without their overbearing questions."

"Yeah, I guess I can see it that way." He sits down on his bed with small sigh.

"Hey." You sit down next to him, "Everything will be okay."

"I know, I would just like it to be okay now, not however far along."

You pull his hand into yours to comfort him. You've been friends for so long that small touch like this doesn't bother either of you.

"We'll work on it."

"Why are you so instinct on helping me?"

"Because we're friends, believe it or not I enjoy your company. When you're not being so mopey that is."

"Hey I am not mopey." He quickly defends.

"If not mopey then what are you?"

"Something else that's not mopey." He admits quietly.

"That's what I thought. Now backstory." You pull out a piece of paper from one of the notebooks Jason has on his dresser.

"Do we really need a backstory? Just tell we started dating a little bit ago."

"Oh no. If we're doing this, we're doing it properly. That means we're creating a backstory and answers to any questions they might ask."

"You've certainly thought this through."

"Yes I have because I want this to work. You realize if it doesn't they'll make fun of us for the rest of forever?"

"Which makes me wonder even more what you're real motive is for doing this?"

"Is it wrong to want to trick your family?"

"Not at all." You also want to help him in any way you can, it's what friends do.

"No that makes no sense." You're quickly learning not to take any of his words seriously. He's disagreeing with basically everything you say.

"Yes it does Jason." It's been almost an hour and you've gotten almost nothing done.

"No it doesn't. I would never do something extravagant to ask someone out." He shrugs and takes a chip from the plate on the coffee table.

"Why not? Relationships need a certain type of romance and work."

"I'd rather celebrate with a quiet night at home and a homemade dinner."

"Fine, we'll say that."

"What else?"

"I don't know. What do you think is appropriate for your family to know?"

"Nothing. My relationships are none of their business." You aren't surprised by his attitude with this. He doesn't like telling them anything about his personal life.

"Jason." You say sternly. Despite his words, there must be something he's thinking of. He knows how his family is.

"They'll probably ask who made the first move and when we realized our feelings."

"That's good, now you're thinking."

"So what do we say?" He asks with an uncaring tone.

"Well Jason, when did you realize you're feelings for me?"

"I felt some hatred since the moment I met you if that counts." He smiles like he's pround of himself.

"That's not nice. If you don't take this seriously, I'll have no choice but to make everything up myself and I'll make it so embarrassing for you you'll never want to leave the house."

"I'll tell them it's when we were-" He takes a pause. "Making dinner together for Alfred's birthday."

"That makes sense. Good job." He rolls his eyes.

"What about you?"

"I'll say the same. It'll mean more."

"Alright then."

The two of you fall into a strange silence and you can't pinpoint why. Of course it's been very awkward trying to talk about things like this. Making up lies about feelings neither of you have.

The whole time you're talking, he can't seem to keep eye contact with you longer than a split second. You want to ask him what's wrong but you know it's weird enough with the tension in the room and he'll probably not respond well to any personal questions.

The rest of the night is spent working on a backstory well enough to fool Damien and Alfred. Unlike Bruce, they both focus on the small details when it comes to stuff like this.

Dick and the others won't be a problem because they'll be so happy with Jason having a actual relationship.

You tell Jason all of this and by the way his body immediately relaxes you can tell it eased a lot of his nerves.

You start to question whether or not this is something you really want to go through with. You're scared it could ruin your relationship with him if it goes wrong but on the other hand it truly does seem like his best chance.

[lildrownedrat]

Not to start an argument, I completely understand and agree with your points in your posts! I just felt I could explain my point better. I don't/didn't want to take away from your point, just add my own two cents.

I have autism and ADHD, I just saw/felt that Taash related to my autism specific traits a lot more than my ADHD traits, personally. But I wouldn't argue if someone wanted to make the statement more general and say Taash is neurodivergent/ a good example of neurodivergent representation.

Yes, it's never explicitly stated that Taash is autistic but I saw a lot of my own story reflected in theirs that just isn't there in other characters. From the way they spoke and interacted with others, to things they mention in conversations with Rook and the other companions- like their trouble regulating their emotions, not remembering to do basic everyday tasks because their mind is occupied, feeling like they're just all together "wrong", having to sort through what's masking, what's you, and what everyone around you wants you to be. Often, good "representations" of neurodivergency aren't labeled as such. I think of examples like Katniss Everdeen and the Belcher Family. Many autistic people find that these characters just do a really great job at describing and portraying our perspective on things, unlike other characters. If a significant number of neurodivergent people are saying they see their story being told through Taash, I think there's some value in that.

I also see people criticize Taash using the same arguments they use against neurodivergent people in real life. "Taash is rude because they speak bluntly without a filter," but if you pay even a little bit of attention to them, you see they are actually really caring and sweet. "Taash is immature because they rely on their mother too much," but it's a lot of neurodivergent people's experience to need extra support from someone close to us. "Taash's dialogue is awkward," because they say things at the wrong time and don't always word it right. I just wanted to call this out because neurodivergent people are seeing how Taash is being discussed and for a character that shares a lot of our struggles, it's tiring.

Basically, what I'm saying is that I also didn't think Taash was an example of poor representation and I hate that that's a large majority of the opinions I see of them. I think they represented my story as an autistic, nonbinary, person of color very well. Their storyline wasn't about "fixing" how they talk to people, or telling them to get new interests- because these aren't character flaws, they're just traits and I LOVE that!

We just need to keep in mind the intersectionality of the stories being told through these characters. A neurotypical nonbinary person may not understand Taash's story, just like a white nonbinary person probably wouldn't relate to them as much. That doesn't mean they're a bad nonbinary representation.

I also think it's extremely important to point out that autistic people are resonating with them so that neurotypical people can learn more about what it means to be autistic.

(sorry for so many edits and revisions! Also sorry if there's any spelling of grammar mistakes. 😅 I'll try to fix them if I catch them)

I’ve kinda said this before and i’ll certainly say it again, taash is written incredibly well and accurately to the specific experience of being a 2nd-gen queer 22 yo. The way they talk, the awkwardness, the struggle to find words for queerness when you were never taught them in your first language and thus only know them in your second. They are the most accurate and well-written depiction i’ve ever seen of those experiences. However, most of you appear to a) not be queer, b) not be diasporic, and c) are not in your 20s, and thus have no concept of what those experiences are like and thus are criticizing writing around experiences you have no context for and no idea of how that should be written.

Like idk, i wouldn’t roll out the gate criticizing the writing of queer characters that grew up in fundamentalist christain households bc idk what that shit’s like. My parents are asian, they celebrate me getting an interview at los alamos, not getting a boyfriend. I’m fundamentally cannot tell you if that’s a well-written depiction bc i have little context for that.

[corvid-language-library]

A life-changing moment

I was thinking the other day about how I came to be in Japan, and how my life could've been so very different had I not gone with my brother on the day he left for university.

You see, I had no interest in going to uni at age 16. Mostly because I was severely depressed and figured I wasn't going to make it to the end of my teens. My plans largely revolved around my band getting famous, or getting a book published, or being discovered by some acting talent scout (despite having exactly zero talent for acting) or something. I hated school and the thought of doing more school just sounded unbearable. My brother was the clever, academic one; not me. So when I went with him that morning in late September, I didn't expect anything to change.

Except I fell in love with the place. It wasn't school; it was a whole new world, with a lake and stunning architecture and gardens and people walking around in the kind of clothes I got bullied for wearing. So I did a complete 180 and decided (much to my father's despair) that I did want to go to uni after all.

While I was at uni, I made friends from all walks of life. All corners of the world. Specifically, Norway.

A couple of years later, I decided I missed being able to speak a second language (my French had been pretty good years before, but I'd forgotten most of it by that point). It was a toss-up between German, Norwegian and Finnish. German because I already knew some, had a cousin living in Cologne and figured it would be useful. Finnish because my music and pole dance idols were Finnish. Norwegian because I had a handful of friends I met at uni from Norway. I decided I wasn't that passionate about German, which left Finnish and Norwegian.

I decided on Finnish.

Went to the bookstore ready to start my journey. I went to the language section and... not a single book on Finnish. But there was a single Teach Yourself Norwegian book. And so, I picked that up instead, and thus started my Norwegian journey.

Fast forward a little and I find myself on langblr. I make lots of langblr friends and even, for a time, run a semi-popular blog. Norwegian was my one true love, of course; nothing could change that. Until someone I'd admired for years started learning Japanese. It was a language I'd always been somewhat interested in but completely adamant I could never learn because it's "too difficult". But seeing her study it made me curious. "Maybe I'll just try to learn some hiragana," I told myself.

If you've known me long enough, perhaps you'll remember that phase I went through where I completely denied I was learning Japanese. "I'll get bored of it," I kept saying. "It's fun right now because I'm in the beginner stage, but as soon as I have to put effort into it I'll give up."

And then I bought a nice notebook and a Japanese textbook and I started making flashcards and practising kanji. Oops.

Covid happened. I started teaching English online because I couldn't teach pole from home and I needed a new source of income. I liked it, but I hated being stuck behind a desk. I wanted to teach in a real classroom. I knew the possibility of getting a TEFL job in Norway was next to zero, especially with Brexit and all. But Japan...

And so I looked into it. And now I'm here.

I wonder how different my life would have been had I, on that unassuming Sunday morning in late September, opted to stay at home and play video games. Would I have ever gone to visit my brother at uni? Probably not; I didn't drive, and that's the year my mum got cancer and I got my first boyfriend, so it's not like I'd have had much inclination to go visit. And had I not seen that campus for myself, would I ever have gone to uni? Would I have made Norwegian friends? Would I have chosen to study Norwegian? Would I have stumbled upon langblr? Would I have made the same langblr friends? Would I have felt inspired to just try learning Japanese?

Maybe I would've found a different route here. Maybe I'd have found myself somewhere completely different.

It seems so silly to think that my life-changing moment was, actually, just the choice to leave the house one day. And yet.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, if anything at all. Perhaps all I'm trying to say is that life-changing moments don't just come up to you and punch you in the face; they're the result of long chains of actions that spiral wildly out of control, all starting from an unassuming Sunday morning when you decided to leave the house instead of rotting at home.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Dude I am absolutely in love with your techno fics. You and Clean liens are keeping my sanity in tact and not crashing out. Anyways, give me your top 3 tropes with techno please!

You're so real for that, Techno-centric fic is what keeps me going too <3

UGH, picking a favorite trope with Techno is like picking a favorite child, it's so hard. I'll name three I really enjoy, but honestly it's just scratching the surface and I'm probably forgetting other tropes I love an equal amount.

One: Hiding an injury/illness. This trope is one of my favorite in general for any fandom but it definitely fits perfectly with a character like Technoblade. I love when a character either is too stubborn to admit they're sick or hurt, don't feel like they're deserving of being cared for, simply are awkward about it because they never had people care for them before, or are used to pushing their own health aside for others (like in a combat scenario where they'd prefer to focus on a hurt friend even if the friend's injury is not as bad as their own) - all of those arguably apply to Techno. Bonus points for combining it with a dramatic or inopportune reveal like ignoring the injury until he faints or something. Very tasty.

Two: 'Just a guy' Techno or 'odd one out' Techno. This one arguably is more AU focused but I think my fic history can attest I'm a big fan of fics where Techno is just a guy. Especially if he isn't necessarily less badass than he is in canon. With 'odd one out' I mean content where Techno is like, a different species than the others. I'm a big fan of human!Techno on the origins server or any AU where Techno is human but sbi isn't (human!techno with alien SBI, vampire SBI, fae SBI, etc). Or sometimes he's the only nonhuman, that's fun too (siren!Techno au my beloved)! Or where he's like, the only commoner while SBI is royalty, or a civilian/hero when the others are villains. That vibe basically. There are a lot of different ways you can play with this trope AND it lends itself especially well for dark SBI which is like, my favorite subgenre of Techno fic lmao.

Three: disabled!Techno. Bit of a self-indulgent one ofc because I love projecting onto my blorbo. But also it just makes sense to me in dsmp canon like, it seems unlikely somebody could have gone through all the stuff Techno goes through and not have it leave some permanent marks. I enjoy giving him chronic pain, migraines, maybe amputated fingers. For bunnyblade there's the obvious leg amputation too. But you can get creative for AUs or just for fun. Seizures because of the anvil!!! Put that man in a wheelchair!!! Again, lots of options.

[satureja13]

Jeb picked Sai up after his shift and they headed upstairs to the game room of Moogie's Bar. Sai was excited. Will Jeb watch the stars with him like Jack and Vlad did? How romantic!

But they walked past the loveseat with a view. Sai: "Hm? What is it then?" Jeb: "Look around the corner."

Sai: "My gaming corner?! How did you get all my stuff here?" Jeb: "I asked Noxee to sent it."

Jeb knows how much Sai needs his alone time. Jeb: "Since you don't have a room for yourself here on board, I thought you'd like to have a space of your own. Where you could do your computer stuff in peace. No one will disturb you here." Sai: "Omg Jeb! This just feels like home far away from home!"

Sai: "Thank you."

Jeb: "I'll leave you alone now. Have fun!" Sai: "Oh, I will!" All the things he can do now! The only computers on board are in the community areas or at the bridge - and there's always commotion. This corner migh be small, but it's quiet and no one will come up here once they'd started the engines and there's nothing to see out there except for the dark-greyish subspace. This is heaven for Saiwa. And Jeb made it happen.

Except - Sai didn't have fun. Did Jeb just shove him away? Stored him in the furthest corner of the ship? Sai knows how much Jeb wanted him to move into his apartment at their home in Tomarang. Did he change his mind? Sai knows Jeb too well, he probably thinks he's not good enough to be with him - again... Because Sai wants nothing more than to loose his virginity to Jeb - but Jeb can't give him what he craves.

After Jeb left Sai to have some fun in his new computer corner, he went over to his best friend, Kiyoshi. To pour his heart out.

But he's busy with Jack... again... Jeb: "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave." Kiyoshi: "Don't worry. Stay."

And of course Sai was right. Even after being together for so long and after talking about this so often - Jeb still thinks Sai is too precious for him... But luckily Sai's oldest friend, Jack, is here. Jack knows how much Sai loves Jeb and that he can't live without him. Sai will never give up. Neither Jeb - nor his plans to finally lose his virginity - to Jeb. And: Jack also knows that the solution for their problem is already in the works. But also - as hard as it is for 'Big Snout Jack' - he can't spill the beans ö.ö So even though it's killing him inside, Jack said: "Don't worry, Jeb. Some things you just can't force. And there's nothing you can do than to just sit it out, hm? Have faith." (TMI: This is actually one of the hardest things for me. Learn more about this (imo) important topic -> here) Jeb: "Uhm, ok..." Kiyoshi seems a bit stunned by Jack saying words of wisdom. But even this happens from time to time :3

Meanwhile Sai left his new gaming corner. He can't just sit around here and do his computer stuff in peace - he's a man on a mission. He went to their quarters - to find them empty. So he took the chance to take a bath to play with the toys again. Soon he'll be ready for Jeb's 'wand'. And it didn't hurt a bit to this point - given you take your time and go slow and prepare thoroughly, just like Jack and Ji Ho - and later also Kioyshi - told him. Plus Sai and Jeb still practise their Tantra each day. They are able to dive in the deepest state of bliss when they make out. Jeb won't even notice it's not Sai's hands on his 'wand' when the time comes. And then finally, finally Sai will give his virginity to his beloved - but oh so hesistant - Jeb.

Uh - oh. The door. Jeb is back ö.ö' Sai wanted to have finished before he returned. Now Jeb will think he kept all the fun for himself - again...

(I usually never post pics with the walls down - but Sai really tensed when Jeb entered ^^')

Sai took the face mask off. Time to face Jeb...

Sai: "I'll just get dressed and than I'll give you my very special thank you present for my gaming corner!" Jeb: "Uhm - ok..." Jeb's mood was damped since he overheard Sai in the bathroom last time. He feels like he isn't man enough for Sai when he has to pleasure himself... without him.

But when Sai stepped out of the bathroom, he took Jeb's breath away. Jeb whispered: "You look so hot." Sai: "But I shouldn't have put those damn plastic pants on over my still damp skin in a hurry!"

Jeb: "Gods are you hurt? Wait, I'll heal you." Sai: "No need to. Let's go to our bedroom. I'll just take them off again - slowly ;) " Jeb: "Are you sure you - you are ready to - to ...do it again?"

Sai: "I didn't go all the way in there. I'll just go there together with you." Jeb: "Vanië..."

Sai: "Let's take these clothes off."

And a few minutes later, Sai took Jeb to the realms of pleasure and bliss.

'… Loving you Isn't the right thing to do How can I ever change things That I feel?

… If I could Baby, I'd give you my world How can I When you won't take it from me?

… You can go your own way Go your own way You can call it Another lonely day You can go your own way Go your own way

Tell me why Everything turned around Packing up Shacking up is all you want to do'

Fleetwood Mac - Go your own Way

Outtakes

When they entered the game room and Vlad stood behind them - grinning creepily - and Sai was about to start hissing ö.Ö' Poor Jeb ^^'

Sai telling Jeb he is going to go nowhere until he's finished with him hahaha

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: starts ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

[max1461]

One thing I will say, now that I've had direct experience with my mental meat severely malfunctioning: drugs are broad-spectrum, and personal exercise of... I won't say "virtue", but choice, can be targeted. I'm not saying that drug addicts can just choose not to be addicted or something, I'm not that naive. What I'm saying is: what are the full mental knock-on affects of dampening one's cravings? If opiate addiction is ruining your life this might be the least of your concerns, but if you're conceptualizing these GLP-1 agonists or any putatively similar drugs as some kind of general purpose "self-control booster", this is might be something you want to think about.

I often get a craving-like-feeling to do math, I'll have this moment where I'm like "you know what would be good right now? One of those group theory problems where you have the orders of a bunch subgroups and you have to deduce the order of the group" and then I'll go look for one online or whatever and solve it. This is, in fact, one of my more consistent motivators to do math, and if those cravings were less frequent I would probably know a lot less. A core part of romantic attraction for me is a craving-like-feeling for my partner; not just in a brute sexual sense but in a more abstract one. To have that lessened would be, from my perspective, essentially my capacity for romantic love being dampened along one of its axes. Would I want that?

When I was a kid, I played a lot of video games. Sometimes I'd play for hours a day. And I really cared about the medium; at that point in my life my ambition was to become a video game designer. When I turned about 16, I abruptly lost the immediate-term desire to actually play video games. I still cared about the medium just as much, I still had lots of thoughts on games and game design, but in a moment-to-moment sense actually playing games was no longer something I wanted to do very often. It ceased to be something I desired in a raw hedonistic sense. It was work. I would sit down to play a game because I was interested in it intellectually, but after 20 minutes I'd get burned out and have to stop. This shift probably altered the course of my life in a huge way—it reshaped something fundamentally about who I was and who I was becoming. I still care a lot about games as a medium, and I'm not in any way torn up that I didn't go down the path of trying to become a game designer. But it does disappoint me sometimes that I can't have anything like the relationship to games that I used to, because my brain has decided they aren't "fun" in that purely hedonic sense anymore.

Actually, this was part of a larger shift in my personality that occurred when I was a teenager, in which I became fairly anhedonic in most areas of life, and as a result shifted away from most simplistically pleasurable activities and towards endeavors that provided a more diffuse, harder to quantify form of gratification. Not because I'm virtuous—but because I'm meat, and the simplistic sources of gratification largely stopped working!

What I'm trying to articulate is something like... yeah, you're made of meat, which means in particular: you are made of meat. When you take a drug that alters your meat, there is a sense in which you become somebody else. And this also happens all the time for reasons you don't control. But that doesn't mean it's good or acceptable in the general case. Sometimes, often, it's bad! Or it's good and bad in ways that are hard to tally. The brain is complex, and, like I said, medications are broad-spectrum. They don't differentiate between the neurons that make you crave a burger and the neurons that make you love your wife, they modulate all the neurotransmitters the same. Actually the bodybuilder Mike Israetel specifically says in an interview somewhere that when he's on steroids, he loves his wife less. It's just physiological. And I believe him.

In the past few months I've had to take lamotrigine for seizures. Lamotrigine is also a mood stabilizer. I don't need my mood stabilized, in fact I rather like my usual array of moods. One of the things lamotrigine evidently does is induce a positive bias in processing of faces—response to angry and fearful faces is lessened, while response to happy faces is unaffected. Sounds great, right? But the visceral response to fearful faces is an important component of affective empathy. You don't want to hurt someone, in part it seems, because your brain has a visceral reaction to the real or imagined sight of their face in fear. Scores on the psychopathy checklist correlate with impaired ability to discern fearful faces, but no comparable impaired ability to discern faces displaying positive emotions. If you can't internalize someone else's fear or sadness, you can't empathize. I know that I don't feel like myself on lamotrigine. Now this is not to be taken as at all scientific; I've got a lot of weird brain stuff going on right now and I don't feel like myself anyway. But in any case, lamotrigine is meant to be one of the seizure medications with the fewest cognitive side effects.

You are made of matter, and messing around with the matter that makes you up can change you in unknown and unpredictable ways. Me growing up to become a linguist instead of a game designer, that reflects a really complex and multi-faceted shift in who I am and how I used my time. And it was brought on by all kinds of things, all sorts of personal development over the years, but a load-bearing component was probably the simple down-modulation of an impulse, a loss of simple hedonistic capacity that caused me to search out radically new uses of my time in my teen years. That shift was endogenous, but certainly a drug could have done it. So my point I guess is that no drug is... what word am I looking for, "apolitical"? That's not what I mean. But I'm saying something conceptually similar to what people often mean when they say no technology is apolitical. Except instead of the body politic I'm talking about the body itself, the body and mind. Uh. If you take a drug to "increase your willpower", it might turn out that you become someone you wouldn't have chosen to become, in ways you never even considered. You might be fine with that or you might not. But it's not so simple as taking the person-you-are and turning up a willpower knob, it's never that simple. I think a sort of techno-pessimism towards this notion of a miracle drug is very warranted.

Last week's WITH was about the pursuit of treatments that might do for addiction what GLP-1 agonists do for cravings for food, and the guest had an interesting point about how you can have phenomena with very complex causes (the main examples here being opiate addiction and the general rise in obesity) that do not require you to untangle or address those causes in order to procure solutions. Like, is addiction a disease, a social ill, a product of trauma, a failure of willpower, or all of these things?

It doesn't necessarily matter! It turns out that "craving stuff" is a pretty basic neurological feedback loop and it may be tractable to pharmaceutical intervention. Heck, GLP-1 agonists may be that intervention: people have reported (and clinical trials are being conducted to study) that these drugs, among their many effects, simply blunt cravings, to the point where people have as a side effect of taking them for diabetes or weight loss also found they helped cut down on drinking, or gambling, or using other drugs.

So even if GLP-1 agonists don't have all the miraculous effects reported (there are some reports they may be effective as an Alzheimer's treatment!), it would be crazy if we have discovered a drug that allows us to better marshal our faculties to decide which cravings to give in to, a drug that simply imbues us with self-control. And I think that's really interesting, because it's an outright clash between two ways of seeing the world: a moralistic one in which virtues are the product of individual decisions, and in which taking a drug to achieve some outcome that "ought" to be a product of virtue might be seen as cheating, and one that reminds us that, for better or worse, we are meat, and all our complex behaviors arise as the result of the state of the meat that we are--and from which view, refusing to acknowledge the mutability of your meat in aid of achieving your goals, or even broader social benefit (addiction is really bad and there very few good options to treat it), is simply goofy.

But a lot of people's reaction to the existence of GLP-1 agonists--or for that matter any medical intervention for things which are moralized as willpower problems--includes contempt founded on being wedded to that moralizing framework. I think a lot of moralism develops as a response to conditions of existence being imposed on us that are objectively pretty miserable, and that when we discover the occasional intervention that liberates us from that pretty restrictive framework, our attitude should be one of jubilation: hear, O ye people, that what was long believed to be an implacable trade-off of human existence is no more. But I think a lot of people's reaction is to double down: I had to suffer, or someone I know had to suffer, therefore you ought to suffer as well, or else our suffering has no meaning.

[microknifeyuri]

Not necessarily ii neg (though I'll tag it as such) but did anyone else feel like the 3gs and Shimmer thing on ACT 1 was. Very Underwhelming. Like the whole thing about The Shimmers being terrified of them felt very very important years ago, especially knowing the fact that you know, their planet WAS destroyed. I was expecting like. Dead ass an army of Mephone's alongside 3gs and you know, hoping to see him acting more like an asshole considering that he WAS one. I'm just saying that the Prime Shimmer said this whole thing about them being The Oppressor and then. It was 3 phones that could easily be killed. The Shimmers are literal aliens why were they hopeless in the movie.

Also! May I add, it does NOT make sense that they don't know who Cobs is, or that they didn't recognize the Meeple Logo from Mephone4's back, because they made this whole deal/explanation to Fan once they saw his phone. Also, they pretty much did say on ep 14 that 3gs WAS coming over probably multiple times to learn more about them, who's to say that 3gs hasn't shared some info by accident himself? My point is that the Shimmers would've most likely known who Cobs is and PROBABLY have a vague idea of how he looks like. Why were they helpless on the movie again.

[strang3lov3]

get to know your moots!

ty for the tag, @ace-turned-confused!

what's the origin of your blog title?: title or username? strang3lov3 is a depeche mode reference. from their song strangelove lol. but my current blog title says "i'll lay you badly, but i'll lay you gladly" and that's just a quote from roman roy that i like lol

OTP(s) + shipname: mmmmm. bob and linda from bob's burgers.

favorite color: light blue

favorite game: most jackbox games, overcooked, tlou, silent hill 2 remake, unpacking, stray,,,,uhhh what else what else. there's this board game called azul that i really love.

song stuck in your head: okay. party up by dmx but the lyrics are changed to "y'all gonna make me shrink my dink up in here up in here" my fuckin brother in law started singing that when my niece and i did some shrinky dinks on saturday night so. so that's what's marinating in this brain of mine. who up shrinkin they dink rn.

weirdest habit/trait?: i crack like, every fuckin' joint in my body all day long. everything, toes, ankles, knees, hips, fingers, thumbs, wrists, back. it's like a visceral need. i feel Not Right if i have not cracked myself.

hobbies: writing, (attempted) gaming, knitting, drawing, watercolor painting, and spending time with my kitty babies ♡

if you work, what's your profession?: i'm a student! gonna be a high school history teacher one of these days.

if you could have any job you wish what would it be?: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i think i'd just like to not work, like ever.

something you're good at: i am like...concerningly good at hanging paintings and making things level with just my eyeballs.

something you're bad at: being uncomfortable and tolerating pain.

something you love: the lazy river

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: the hierarchy of power between cats in a household. the cat who sits at the highest point of the room sees himself as above everyone else and he will take offense at the notion of being groomed. he is the one who grooms others because he is Top Cat.

something you hate: loudness. being sweaty. tomatoes. avocados.

something you collect: tattoos lol. and perfumes! i don't have the largest collection but i really love getting new perfumes. my most recent purchase is hypnotic poison from dior and i looooove it so much it smells like root beer, which is my favorite pop.

something you forget: to take my birth controllllll. lol. i could never take the pill on time so i switched to the ring, and i'm often late to putting a new one in oopsie

what's your love language?: i'm down to clown with all of the love languages tbh. i am a biiiig mushy love slut deep down. real ones know

favorite movie/show: succession, tlou, bobs burgers, what we do in the shadows, it's always sunny.

favorite food: pad thai, paneer butter masala, and then any combination of carbs + cheese. cheese fries, mac and cheese, breadsticks and cheese, whatever. gimme.

favorite animal: cats and raccoons, which are just like, wilderness cats lol. they're troublesome and i love them.

what were you like as a child?: shy but attention seeking. i am a middle child lol

favorite subject at school?: history + art class.

least favorite subject?: chemistry and physics. those can get fucked

what's your best character trait?: my loving heart, my empathy, my endless patience for animals.

what's your worst character trait?: i kinda...kinda run hot sometimes. and i have a hard time with letting go of anger.

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?: i'd make it just a liiiiiiittle warmer out. it's 6F, feels like -5.

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: mmm probably not what the question is asking, but i'd like to go back fuck, 8 years ago now and spend some more time talking to a loved one who passed. our last conversation was him telling me that i could call him at anytime and he'd pick me up from an iffy situation, no questions asked. i'd also like to go back in time and meet my parents and grandparents before they had children

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!) diner by cuntoid ♡ it's a comfort fic to me

npt @cum-a-calla @fridays13th @bitchesuntitled @guiltyasdave @littlepadika-main

@evolnoomym @prettybpdgirl @fawnjaw @angelsanarchy @amanitacowboy

FULL PRESSURE TAG THIS TAG IS THE EQUIVALENT OF ME SPRAYING YOU WITH A PRESSURE WASHER @beefrobeefcal ♡

[dcviated]

Right. The woman is a cinephile. Every quip he makes finds itself traced to one movie reference or another. But how the hell does a rock climbing wall have to settle that too? He laughs, more at Sonia than the actual reference itself. He's satisfied he got the flush, making sure to stare appropriately when she makes the remark in turn.

Not to worry, Sonia. Wylan is adept at multitasking. As seen here as they go about their shopping excursion amidst the displays and racks.

"If it's somewhere that gets snow on the ground, I try not to be there when the snow is. Alas, we can not in fact always get what we want." And, really, he should be epitomized by that sentiment. Though the twisting nebula of timelines had brought him to this point, taking clothes from his now-girlfriend to try on in extravagant fashion. It never evades him how many other opportunities were missed because of his circumstances. What kind of person could Zachary Reis have grown up to be, otherwise? "But if you try sometimes... Well." Wylan lets the remainder of the line be left to the air as the variety of items are taken in hand.

The wrench to his lips is played off comically, despite being sourced to the distaste of how his initial control of fate had set him down into the pits. No, Sonia, he doesn't really dislike your choices, but it's funny to act as though he's being judgmental. A leer sent her way as he leans in.

"There's a severe lack of cartoon characters and humorous logos on these shirts. I wear this and I might be considered someone who acts my age. Not a problem, I'll just compensate. It seemed to work some on your cousins, and I was barely even trying there. It was more trying to keep myself from being beaten up, but y'know."

After a hum, he smiles. Then slips into a changing room to start the show. Everything fit fine enough. And he made sure to dramatically present the fits to Sonia. One time going so far as to step out without any pants on. One of the sweaters being put back because he disliked how far it fell down his hips. That in itself doesn't alleviate some of the creeping feeling underlying this endeavor. That evasive part of his mind, one that wished to stay slippery and never wanted to be pinned down, knew what this was.

Reflecting on movie references, how many were there that included a scene of the rebel being cleaned up and pressed into a stiff ensemble? Sure, these clothes didn't itch as the stereotype usually implied, but Wylan felt a similar sentiment. After all. This wasn't a one-off attire or event for the purpose of fitting into a role. This was going to be him. Wylan Rechtur needed to be a clean cut individual so that he might be a fitting partner for Sonia Nevermind.

For her. For Sonia. For Sonia.

The wrench in his heart is swallowed back. The man stands, staring in the mirror, pensively. It clicks away, he clicks away. Adopting several different poses to see if he couldn't break free character-wise. Or if that mattered. Did it? Probably not. Just as Sonia was handed clothes to wear, the assassin imagines it'll be the same case for him. Some little assistant toddling after him that could go so far as to fuss over which buttons he bothered to snap.

Right then.

"These'll work." He lies, smoother than the coffee he had just been drinking with no betrayal on his features. The smile he passes to Sonia is genuine as he slips out of the changing room one last time (this time his pants are on, not going to pull that twice in one setting). Now back in his prior clothes with everything he was inclined to grab over the arm. "And if they don't, I'll make sure to take the blame, and not immediately throw you under the bus since you picked them out."

Ah, he seemed to misunderstand, Sonia thought as she smiled. An honest mistake, but one she should probably explain before he met the rest of the family. They likely wouldn't find it quite as amusing as she did. "The bias against America is primarily due to the fact that your country rejected monarchy," She replied with a shake of her head. "Not necessarily safety: despite America's deep love of firearms, every able-bodied and able-minded Novosonian is trained how to operate them for military duty, so they are less fearful of Americans in that regard. Your right-wing conservatives are much more vocal than ours, though, but I imagine some of the restrictions on royalty that trickle down to the rest of the aristocracy might please people with those values anyway."

But she seemed to misunderstand as well, and while Wylan's was an easy mistake to make, hers wasn't. Sonia knew, to some degree, what his life's work entailed and that he didn't likely take holidays off for fun: he likely couldn't afford to, for the very same reason she guessed was behind her staff's own worries. Safety concerns. Sonia briefly wondered how many people were currently out for his blood, if they could identify him and track him down, and she shivered. At least she could write it off as the weather's responsibility.

"Sorry, I should have realized you would be traveling there for...erm, work," Sonia apologized. She hadn't meant to stress that particular word but it just slipped out, a casual admittance of her worries for him. About so many things: keeping him alive was only one of them. It would be a test to see who was more risky to his health: his past employers or enemies, or her own family.

Thankfully he changed the subject to something else, anything else. "Rock climbing walls? Like in The Princess Diaries?" She piped up before turning pink in embarrassment. "It is not my usual film choice but, when my floormates heard during my first year of Uni that I hadn't seen those films, they insisted that needed to be rectified. As an actual princess with a certain disdain for the Disneyfied versions, they were not too terrible." The second one in particular was resonant: a Royal Council's obsession with finding the crown princess a husband as God forbid she try to reign alone.

A topic a little too close to home, and therefore Sonia would do what she always did during times of anxiety: briefly chew at her mouth before diverting the conversation elsewhere.

"Well, if it is anything like the film then I trust you," She assured him, "But as I remember last night with some amount of clarity, watching my ass means you will have to give my thighs a respite. It may prove too taxing to keep both areas of my body in your sights at the same time."

If he was going to start with banter, she'd be sure to have the last word. At least, that was her intention by purposely reminding him of what her ass was attached to. "I am not sure that the Galeries Lafayette sells pet and pet care items," She admitted as they began to descend the stairs back into the department store proper. "Barring something from Louis Vuitton or Gucci. Does a luxury designer leash and collar have the same effect?" In short, nothing cheap.

Then again, nothing in the grand department store composed of three different buildings in one was cheap. Something Wylan would have to get used to. Something Sonia quietly hoped he never did. They re-entered the men's building and while he entrusted her to pick out something she wanted to see him in, what Sonia really wanted for him was for him to not lose himself in it all. The wealth. The pomp. The familial pressure to acclimate and perform in the manner of tradition he hadn't been indoctrinated into since the day of his birth, like the other peers he would soon be surrounded by. They'd have a leg up on him in every possible way, save two.

The ability to take a life, and the ability to keep her heart.

"You'll need a good coat, especially for the current season," She began. Perhaps best to start with outerwear and work her way in. Or under, she thought briefly as she blushed at the idea of picking out undergarments for him. Hopefully he could handle that himself. "Truth be told, I am often just given clothes to wear and do not often have the luxury to choose anything I wish. And um...I am rather more used to undressing men rather than dressing them. So this is a first for me, really: But I shall do my best. Even though I would love you even if you just wearing a paper bag, Wylan."

Something that could be interpreted as another challenge, Sonia thought as she guessed at his sizes, pulling out a deep gray wool overcoat, two blazers, three pairs of trousers and a pair of jeans, five button down shirts, and two pullover sweaters. Besides the gray, she'd mostly chosen shades of dark blue, navy, and green: they coordinated with or matched his eyes, as well as the usual colors the family wore. Accessories, shoes, sportswear, and sleepwear were whole other categories that needed their own focus and devotion.

"Perhaps try these on for the sizing and feel," She suggested once several workers arranged them all in a dressing room. "I should've asked, I suppose, if wool irritates you. I think you might appreciate it, alongside the cotton and silk blends, for this part of the world at this time of year. I cannot imagine that Las Vegas is conducive to cold winters at all.

[rjalker]

Instances of Martha Wells differentiating between "humans" and "augmented humans" and the statistics of why it's done, in books 1-6, and both short stories.

[Plain text: "Instances of Martha Wells differentiating between "humans" and "augmented" humans and the percentages of why it's done in books 1-6, and both short stories.". End plain text.]

There's two pie charts now, one excluding only the instance where the word "Augmented" was used in the phrase "alien-augmented", which is not relevant, and one that excludes instances of Murderbot talking about impersonating an augmented human, which is also not relevant to the issue.

Here's the post that lists out all the instances.

If you're mad about me analyzing these books I like even when it's of Martha Wells doing bigoted shit instead of me just pretending everything is fine, go watch a Marvel movie instead. Or go watch Dora the Explora if you don't want to think about the media you consume in any way.

Chart 1, excluding only the instance of "alien-augmented", including all other instances of the word "augmented" from books 1-6, including both short stories, which did not mention the word at all.

Yes, this did take several hours of my life and I did it for free. You're welcome!

No I'm not going to type out yet another essay about why this is ableist as fuck on this post. go find my other ones. or practice your critical thinking skills.

[ID: An orange, blue, and red pie graph, titled, "Instances of Martha Wells differentiating between Humans and cyborgs (augmented humans) in books 1-6, because..."

The smallest section at 19.4% is orange, and reads, "Murderbot is impersonating a cyborg". This happens 31 times.

The second smallest section, at 24.4%, is blue, and reads, "The information is actually relevant to the situation". This happens 39 times.

The largest section, at 56.3%, is red, and reads, "She's literally just automatically excluding cyborgs, who are disabled people, from the category of human as a matter of course. This is never questioned or commented upon. You are not allowed to forget that cyborgs are not considered humans.". This happens 90 times.

End ID.]

[ID: A red and blue pie chart, titled, "Martha Wells differentiating between humans and cyborgs (augmented humans), excluding instances of Murderbot mentioning impersonating a cyborg, because..."

The smaller section, at 30.2% is blue, and reads, "The information is actually relevant to the situation.". This happens 39 times.

The larger section, at 69.8%, is red, and reads, "She's literally just decided to exclude cyborgs, AKA disabled people, from the category of human. This is not done to question the dehumanization of disabled people. It is not part of the plot at all. You are not supposed to question it. She just saw that it was a popular trope in scifi and decided to adopt it without actually using it the way it's intended -- to show that it's wrong. We're just supposed to accept that cyborgs (disabled people!) aren't human, without question or comment". This happens 90 times.

End ID.]

anyways. It is in fact your responsibility to criticize bigotry, even in series you enjoy.

Martha Wells saw scifi authors having it be part of the plot that cyborgs are seen as subhuman, and decided that was a cool idea, without actually understanding why the trope exists and what it's used for. She is not trying to question the idea that disabled people are less than human, she just thinks it's pretty set dressing that doesn't need to be questioned or confronted or explored.

This is ableism, and shitty, lazy writing, plain and simple.

If you do not want to confront bigotry through your stories, then don't fucking put bigotry in your stories! It's not fucking difficult! Do not just pick fucking tropes from dystopian novels like they're fucking decorations and then not actually put in the effort to confront their existence.

-----

Obligatory signature to ward off bigoted cowards and jackasses who are terrified and infuriated by the idea of admitting a thing they like isn't absolute perfection incarnate:

[ID: A blue banner with a black outline, and white text that reads, "Error-06210311-150606: I'm not interested in in-universe explanations you just pulled out of your ass to defend bigotry on the part of the real life author that you didn't even notice until I pointed it out to you." End ID.]

and don't even get me started on the way she demonized drug addicts and people who can't feel pain.