#because I think about this stuff too much

[rivertalesien]

A lot of ideas can co-exist.

There are activists on Tumblr. Some have been "activated" online. They've grown up on Tumblr. Tumblr is a default location for so many to try and urge others to act on their own best interests. There's no better way to use Tumblr than through fandoms.

That means the bad faith operators use them, too.

We've seen radicalizing in fandoms for years. Terfs do it, fascists do it.

One of the ways they have been particularly effective is in shutting down any conversation they don't want people to have. And it has worked. There are outcroppings in every social media sphere where people are: NO POLITICS. NO LGBTQ TALK. NO GENOCIDE TALK. NO BAD STUFF. PERIOD. No one wants to go through the drama of sorting it all out. It's been traumatizing for a lot of people. Cutting everything potentially problematic back is one way of dealing with the problem and making sure nothing toxic starts to take hold again.

There's upsides to that and some downsides: how people have been radicalized says a lot. I know some folks just want to get the revolution started and think banging heads together out here will do it.

So there's folks who have grown up here to reject that, fight against it and try to push others toward "action" without ever really being able to define what that "action" should be. There's folks who don't even realize they're desperation for "action" turns them off the folks who do not want anymore trauma. When you're deep in that mindset, you're not much better than a troll, really, and about as effective.

Yes, mental health/physical trauma is a real and valid reason some folks will not engage with political content of any kind.

Want to be an effective activist?

Online is never where it is at. You are simply not going to move people here. It won't happen. The need for the protective bubble is just too strong. You can use your platform to spread information, activist activities that are happening offline or specific ways people can help themselves and others, which people can then choose to participate in by sharing with their circles. That's it. That's what you can do here. If something goes viral here, it won't be because you pushed it on folks, judged them. Made them feel bad. People have to walk by themselves. They can't be forced along.

If you really need to feel some movement in the world, get involved locally. Join a school board. Library board. Volunteer at food banks, community gardens. Setup a booth at the mall or other community location and learn how to engage with people directly. More people will just walk on by, but once in a while, someone will come up to you and really want to know what's up. It doesn't feel rewarding or cinematically revolutionary, but that's how it's done. You can't start with a massive audience from day one. It's one to one to one to one until there are ten. Until there are twenty. Until there are a hundred.

If you need to go a step further, help a labor union. Join the picket lines. Encourage others to join unions. That's big right now and an effective way forward.

And don't forget that a huge part of what is going on in this world is a lack of compassion. A lack of humanity toward others. Everyone needs it. We need love and gentleness and kindness. If your activism doesn't start there, it won't end there. You may not believe it because you live in your own bubble of Rightness. If you think other people's suffering justifies you being a dick, you're not helping them. Donate to their GFMs. Encourage others to. Kindly. *That* helps.

Online is where we archive. Where we keep track. Where people find solidarity in the things that keep them going. That keep our humanity intact. That's the best of it. The worst is when we stomp around on it and tell others how they should feel and how they should live. That's not activism. That's policing. If there's one thing activism should never involve, it's policing others.

I'm a good twenty-odd years in this game now. I work in my community and my state and I'm telling you: you're not going to change the world online. The movements you have seen that seem to arise and build awareness? Online was incidental. It wasn't what made it happen. Bitching at people for "not caring enough" not sharing enough trauma posts or what not, is not what makes change happen. Nobody knows you. You're a stranger who walked into their house and told them YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG and only added to their own trauma. It's not helping anyone at all.

PS: people talk politics all the time. They just might not be talking about it with you. For a very good reason.

Humble yourself a little. It won't hurt.

We need all of us in this time. Set a better example. Let people come to you. Go out and meet your neighbors. People need connection, not judgement. That's how this works.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

[stychu-stych]

Ok that comic about Narinder's resurrection took me much longer than I was expected 💦 but I'm almost done! for now here's some artvsartist I made

There'll be probably no more posts before 31.12, so I just wanna say thank you all for that year. I started publishing my CotL stuff in February few days after my birthday as a treat and because I didn't want to spam on my tattoo profile too much with my digital art. I didn't know back then that so many of you will be interested in my work. I didn't expect that I'll draw so many fanarts, that I'll be able to print my own artbook and I'll be seriously thinking about making a patreon. You're such a great community, I've read and even heard on some conventions so many nice things from you, I had a chance to talk and interact more with other great artists and writers in the community. Also welcome all new people, hope you'll like it here ✨ See you in 2025

[kabuki-writes]

Since the emperors canonically have mommy issues. What do you think if their dear empress gets pregnant??? 👀👀👀

First of all: Hell yes! THOSE EMPERORS HAVE SERIOUS MOMMY ISSUES! Like holy Jupiter!

I mean we don't really know what happened to their mother according to GII, but since we get a hint on their father being violent towards his children and the mother not being present in the movie, i personally have the headcanon that she either died in childbed or during the twin's early youth. A lot of Roman Emperors and Generals took their sons with them on war campaigns, to train them in the ways of military - a good example for this is Caligula, who accompanied his father Germanicus in Germania and got the name "Caligula" (latin for "tiny soldier boots") from the Legionaries. Given that Septimius Severus was a military man himself, i could imagine him taking Geta and Caracalla with him. And that meant quite a rough childhood for them, especially for Caracalla, whom i headcanon to be the "least favorite son" due to him being mentally ill. So the twins don't really know motherly love or someone, who deeply cares for them in a way that a mother would do - something they will seek in one way or another later in life.

Before i digress too quickly.. what do i think about them being confronted by the Empress' pregnancy? First of all, i will not spoiler anything for the fic, so this is my general headcanon only:

I think Geta would be very overwhelmed at first, but since i headcanon a breeding kink for that man, he will quickly be super happy about the news and do ANYTHING to pamper and protect his Empress. And i think that he would be a good father actually. I mean, he kinda had to protect his twin brother throughout their youth and he did it with brotherly love. He had witnessed firsthand the terrible nature of his own father and therefore i would not say that he traps into the same personality. Maybe a child would even ground him a little bit more?

With Caracalla... oof. He would be super excited of the news, always asking about the pregnancy as well as he would advise all the servants to care about the Empress 24/7. But let's face it, this man is very mentally unstable, and speaking realistically here, he is not going to be the best father material. Not because he would get agressive towards his child or something, but because he is kind of a child himself. He would kinda care for a baby the same way he would for Dondus, but that is a monkey! Also he would quickly lose his patience or be bored by the way that a baby is not able to do much stuff, which results in him giving it into the hands of handmaidens very quickly. Also he NEEDS attention all the time, having a baby around that needs the Empress' full attention, it could end up in him getting frustrated about this as well.

[dioskailacs]

it's easier to say girl math to spending 50$ on useless stuff because saying "i know i shouldn't be spending this much money on useless stuff but i need the dopamine from the act of purchasing the system has installed in me to replace true joy and meaning because i don't know where i could acquire those and i need an easy fix but i don't want think too deeply about all of this because i am having an identity crisis every second week as it is and i don't need that now, now i just want to spend money and feel good about the stuff i bought can i just have that in peace please" would be a mouthful.

also sometimes it really isn't that deep. we police other people's language because nothing we say is private on the internet and everyone is forced to speak like a media trained person whose words impact millions and i don't think that's helping us either

“girl dinner” “girl math” “i’m just a girl” okay but I am an adult I am six feet tall I am loud as fuck I take up space I am smart and capable. So are you. Why would we want to laugh at jokes where the punchline is that women aren’t? Why would we want to make jokes about being small and childish and incapable? Who do you think laughs at those jokes the loudest?

[onehundredelevven]

Hello there, merry belated Christmas (if you celebrate)! I hope all is well ❤️ I have a request how about something angsty, but with a happy ending. This will be for JJK. Fem reader suspects her lover is cheating on them with their ex. this is due to the ex creating fake texts or doing something scandalous to set the men up to trick the reader. And the “evidence “ they provide is very convincing, unfortunately. The men have to find a way to win them back and prove their innocence. You can choose to do either a mini story or general head cannons, whichever is easier for you ☺️ as for which JJK male, you choose. But I do love Gojo, so please include him. Thanks so much! Take care ❤️❤️❤️

Hello Anon~ merry belated Christmas too ! Here's your request !!

JJK Men proving their faithfulness to you.

content: JJK Men x reader, hurt with comfort

☆☆☆

Satoru Gojo

☆When you confront him, Gojo initially laughs it off, thinking you're joking. But when he sees the hurt in your eyes, his expression turns serious.

☆“You think I would cheat on you? Baby, look at me. I could have anyone I want, and I chose you. What does that tell you?” It sounds cocky, but it’s his way of trying to reassure you.

☆The “evidence” hits him like a truck, especially when you mention it involves his ex. His playful demeanor drops completely.

☆He investigates obsessively, pulling every string he has. When he finds out his ex fabricated the texts, he makes sure they’ll regret ever messing with your relationship.

☆To prove his loyalty, he takes you somewhere significant—a quiet shrine at sunset where he confesses all his vulnerabilities. “I know I joke around a lot, but I don’t with you. You’re my everything, okay? Please don’t doubt that.”

---

Suguru Geto

☆When you confront Suguru, he’s calm but visibly pained by your accusation. “Do you really think I’d betray you like that?” he asks, his voice quiet but firm.

☆The fake messages shake him because they do look convincing. Still, he keeps his composure and promises, “I’ll clear this up, just trust me for now.”

☆Suguru digs into the situation like a detective, finding subtle inconsistencies in the texts and proving his ex’s deceit.

☆To win you back, he pens a heartfelt letter, explaining how much you mean to him and how he would never jeopardize what you have. He delivers it in person, sitting with you until you’re ready to forgive him.

---

Nanami Kento

☆Nanami takes your accusation with devastating seriousness. His brow furrows, and he listens carefully to everything you say. “If this is how you feel, I won’t dismiss it. But I need you to believe me when I say it’s not true.”

☆The texts from his ex make his jaw tighten. “That woman is trying to cause trouble. I’ll handle this.”

☆He wastes no time confronting his ex, collecting receipts, and presenting them to you methodically, like a courtroom defense.

☆Nanami shows his love through action. After clearing things up, he surprises you with a quiet dinner at your favorite restaurant. Over candlelight, he takes your hand and says, “I’ll never let anyone come between us again. You’re all I need.”

---

Toji Fushiguro

☆Toji laughs bitterly when you accuse him, but it’s not out of amusement—it’s disbelief. “You really think I’d go back to her?”

☆The fake evidence pisses him off. “That snake’s been causing problems for years. I should’ve known she’d try something like this.”

☆He tracks down his ex in record time, not mincing words or threats. Once he has proof of her lies, he drags himself back to you, guilt written all over his face.

☆“Look, I’m not good at this stuff, but you gotta know I wouldn’t mess this up. You’re too important to me.” He leaves the decision in your hands, but his sincerity is undeniable.

---

Ryomen Sukuna

☆Sukuna’s pride takes a hit when you accuse him. “You think I’d stoop so low as to sneak around? If I didn’t want you, I’d tell you to your face.”

☆He scoffs at the “evidence” at first, but when he realizes how much it’s shaken you, his expression hardens. “Whoever’s behind this is dead. Simple as that.”

☆He confronts his ex with terrifying intensity, uncovering the truth and making sure they won’t try anything like this again.

☆To prove his loyalty, Sukuna softens—just a little. He sits with you, looking you in the eye, and says, “You’re mine, and I’m yours. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.”

---

Choso Kamo

☆Choso’s reaction is pure heartbreak. “You… you think I’d do that to you?” His eyes well up, and his voice trembles as he tries to process your accusation.

☆The fabricated texts devastate him, but he refuses to let them ruin your relationship. “I’ll fix this. Please don’t give up on me.”

☆He works tirelessly to prove his innocence, eventually gathering enough evidence to expose his ex’s scheme.

☆Choso is a quiet but passionate lover. After everything is resolved, he holds you close, whispering, “I don’t want to lose you. You’re the only one I’ve ever cared for like this.”

---

Shiu Kong

☆Shiu’s sharp eyes narrow when you bring up the accusation. “You think I’d waste my time on an ex when I have you?” His tone is clipped, but you can tell the idea hurts him.

☆He examines the “evidence” like it’s a case file, immediately noticing details that don’t add up. “This is amateur work,” he mutters before setting out to expose the truth.

☆Once he clears his name, Shiu sits you down and pours you a glass of wine. “I’m not a saint, but I’d never cheat on you. You’re the only one who’s ever made me want to stay.”

---

Hiromi Higuruma

☆Hiromi listens patiently as you explain the situation, his expression unreadable. “I understand why you’re upset,” he says carefully. “But I promise you, I’m not lying.”

☆He meticulously analyzes the fake texts, his legal mind working overtime to find inconsistencies.

☆Hiromi confronts his ex with calm but firm resolve, collecting a confession and bringing it to you. “I’d never do something so cruel. I hope this proves that.”

☆To make amends, Hiromi takes you on a quiet date, away from the chaos, and reassures you with every word and gesture that his heart is yours alone.

[wonderjanga]

combining people hitting on ace marvel with Billy having total control over the magical champion body, plus Billy having terrible conflict resolution skills on account of being a child and Solomon not having any answers regarding turning down someones affections. So if someone is hitting on marvel he escapes by acting like hes being attacked or cursed. The magical champion version of "uhh my shoes are untied... OVER THERE!" A person tries to kiss him and he just.

Marvel: *inching away from a lady who keeps coming near him and trying to kiss him*

Lady: “Oh you’re my hero!” *tries to kiss him again*

Marvel: *dodged and sees a nearby drain*

Billy then proceeded to do the only thing he could think of in that moment. Melt.

Marvel: “Ah… I’m melting! Ahhhhhh…” *terrible actor but is trying his best to sound like he’s in agony*

Lady: “Oh my God! Someone call an ambulance!”

Marvel: “NO no… no. Don’t do that.” *still melting and now trying to melt into the drain* “But yeah- Ah… I’m in so much pain!

Billy didn’t really like having to find a way out of the sewers. Nor did he like smelling like sewage after. But, it did get him out of that situation, so he’ll take it.

or

Marvel: *flying*

Lady: “Captain! Captain, could I have a word with you?”

Marvel: “Of course, miss! Is there a problem?”

Lady: “Not really.” *puts her hand on his chest and bats her lashes* “I just wanted to have a little chat-”

Marvel: *makes his own chest cave in away from her*

Lady: *stares for a solid sec* “OH MY GOD??”

She was absolutely horrified because she could literally hear his rib bones snap and he somehow didn’t flinch at all.

or

Marvel: *backed up against a wall in a lady’s apartment after he helped with a small house fire*

Lady: *tries to kiss him*

Marvel: *looks absolutely mortified and turns his head away*

The worst part in Billy’s opinion about that situation was that he couldn’t really escape. Like, he couldn’t let himself fly up because there was a roof and if he did, the rubble might fall on the lady and injure her. He can’t go down because they’re on the second story of a building and the rubble will land on the people down below. And he can’t go through a wall because there are other rooms full of people in the other rooms. So what does he do? He explodes. Literally. Not metaphorically.

Marvel: *literally lets his head explode into confetti*

Lady: *stares*

Marvel: *blindly feels around the room because he can’t see and stumbles over a bunch of stuff as he leaves*

He fell down the stairs multiple times, and ran into what he was pretty sure was a trash can. (He can’t be too sure considering he can’t hear or see) He ended up somehow getting to the street and wandering before a JL member came out of nowhere, was horrified, and made him sit down on a bench. As for how he knew it was a JL member, he literally let his hand palm their face so he could feel who it was. It was Flash. Anyways, he regrew his head.

Flash: *talking with someone on his comm* “Dude, I think Marvel was decapitated-”

JL member: *says something that Billy can’t hear*

Flash: “No, I don’t know how!

JL member: *says something else*

Flash: “No, he’s not dead. Somehow. He was walking around before I found him. I got him to sit down.”

Marvel: “Flash, who are you talking to?”

Flash: “Spooky.” *pauses and slowly looks over to him now registering Billy said something* “Wha- dude! You have head again!”

Marvel: “Yeah?”

Flash: “Jesus, man, you had me worried-” *looks back to his comm and speaks to it* “Cap just grew his head back.”

JL member(Now known as Batman): *says something else*

Flash: “I don’t know! It just grew back!”

Batman: *probably says something about how he expects a report or explanation or something*

Flash: “Yeah, yeah I’ll fill more details later.” *hangs up and looks over to Billy* “Dude. How did you get decapitated?” *sits down with him* “I thought you were supposed to be super durable like Supes.”

Marvel: “Oh uh… I blew my own head up.”

*silence*

Flash: “What?”

[shoresoftheshadowlands]

Earlier this year a popular poll went around, and it was about what living things counted as meat. It was viral, but came down to all animals, fish, birds, bugs, and all things crawly, even things down as small as tardigrades and other celled life forms as being 'meat'.

I got clowned on for claiming 'Plants is meat' unironically. But I'm right though. They're alive, they breed, they can be parasitic, they can be predators. They communicate and many care for their young or even the young of other plant species near them. They share. They feel and respond to things. They can (A tree in africa comes to mind) warn one another about things, like large predators-Herbivores- eating them, so that the others in the area can pump toxins into their leaves and thus more likely to survive.

There's a mimic plant that HAS to be able to see because it mimics even non living fake plants. Plants are just as alive as anything else, but people like the idea that only eating plants is somehow more...ethical? They don't like thinking about how plants feel things too, we just don't know how they feel things exactly.

And that's not even considering how much land has to be cleared for agriculture, how many animals displaced and killed, for huge farms.

Obviously no shade to folks who have restricted diets due to medical reasons, I only have gripes with morality-ethical vegans, and that's only the ones who are really annoying and bitchy about stuff.

One of the things that struck me about Robin Wall Kimmerer's perspective when I was reading Braiding Sweetgrass was the way the ethical obligation to life she discussed contrasted with the colonizer's culture.

It is increasingly popular to find it inherently unethical and exploitative to kill animals for food or to farm them for animal products, and instead eat and wear "plant-based" things. This is an impulse toward ethical treatment of non-human living things.

But this way of seeing animals as "lives" and behaving accordingly, depends on seeing plants as non-lives. Asking whether we have ethical obligations toward plants is so absurd, it's dismissed as trolling.

I've known many people who farmed or hunted animals who had a great reverence for their lives. Some people would think that this is not genuine and that it is never morally acceptable to take a life for your own use.

Kimmerer discusses Indigenous use of animals. But when a tree needs to be cut down or a plant uprooted, there is the same vivid awareness that a life is being taken, that the plant's life is A Life.

Now I'm troubled by the dismissal of plants as providing total freedom from guilt and moral responsibility among many people and organizations who see animal life as deeply sacred. Plant based products are cruelty-free alternatives to animal products and plant-based diets mean nothing had to die for your meal.

I understand not wanting to support cruel industries or being uncomfortable with eating animals, but the more I learn about plants, the less I believe that all animals have something all plants lack, that means we have moral obligations toward animals and not toward plants.

Plants are incredibly unlike us, but they respond to their environments, they communicate with other plants, and they engage in behaviors. Objection to potential plant intelligence and sentience (ability to feel) is more cultural than scientific; we are just only beginning to scratch the surface of the inner world of plants. What if we have to respect plants as life? What does respect mean then, if we have to explore the idea that it doesn't necessarily contradict taking life?

[cognitiveoverload]

Craving (Aaron Hotchner x reader? Does it count?)

summary: Hotch shows up in your hotel room after the events of 2x19.

note: Kinda pathetic!Hotch if you ask me. Wants to be with reader despite still being married, but she says no.

After emotionally draining cases you’re usually a heavy sleeper, so no wonder you only wake up when the mattress dips in the hotel room you’re staying in. You jolt awake, eyes snapping open to see who got in the bed on the empty side next to you, and you’re shocked to see the man who wraps an arm around you as if it was the most natural thing, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Hotch, what are you doing here?” you ask, fighting the urge to bury your fingers into his hair to soothe him.

Because he’s clearly under the weather, and his warm breath smells like whisky as he rests his chin on your collar bone to look at you. “I don’t want to be alone,” he mutters.

There has always been tension between you, but he’s married, there was no way you would ever even think of giving into that feeling. Having him here, though, makes you wonder just how deep are his feelings for you. He’s not blackout drunk, he probably only drank like two glasses, but thanks to the vulnerable state of mind he was in earlier, it’s no surprise that it got the best of him.

“How did you even get in?” 

He lets out a sigh, then a small smile appears on his lips. “I have my methods,” he replies.

This sentence is followed by a soft sigh, but he remains silent for a minute or two, as if he’s contemplating how to say what’s on his mind. His thumb is rubbing circles into your arm, and while your brain knows you should stop him, you simply can’t get yourself to send him away. He doesn’t want to be alone, and there’s something he wants to talk about.

So, you wait. Rushing him wouldn’t help, and he’s stubborn enough to take his time opening up. Sometimes you wonder if he ever tells Haley about work stuff, or if he keeps it to himself since she has a lot on her plate already because of Jack. Either way, what happened earlier today definitely hit him where it hurt the most.

“It’s my fault,” he finally speaks up, his voice unusually quiet. You tilt your head to the side, urging him to explain. “I should have known, I should have gone there to see if I could help, now there’s a kid without a father and—”

You shook your head without thinking, a hand moving up to push his hair back. “It’s not your fault. You’re not a mind reader, Hotch, you couldn’t have known what he was planning,” you try.

“Aaron.” You let out a questioning hum, but he doesn’t answer, instead he moves a little to place a featherlight kiss on your exposed skin, followed by another, and another at an agonizingly slow pace. “Call me Aaron. I hate it that you call me Hotch too,” he mumbles against your skin.

“You’re my boss, I’m not calling you Aaron,” you point out.

“But we could be so much more than that. You mean so much more to me.” 

Before you can say anything, he moves just enough to be able to kiss you—a gentle, soft kiss that feels so good, but also forbidden. You cup his face, pushing him away just enough to look into his eyes. There’s a mixture of sadness and lust in there, but you know you can’t give in, you can’t let him win this one. 

Deciding that this is your best chance to set boundaries, you move past him as you sit up, watching the way he turns on his back with a groan. “For one, you’re my boss. And second, you’re married. Keep that in mind,” you warn him.

He loosens his tie and props on his elbows. “Yeah, right, a marriage that’s falling apart,” he notes bitterly. When you give him a questioning look, he goes on. “It seems like no matter how hard I try, I can’t be the husband she wants. This job is demanding, sure, but… I don’t know.”

“You need to sleep,” you tell him kindly, not having the heart to be harsh after what he just told you. 

This confession explains the phone calls that always left him grim, but you don’t feel like prying for more details. You know that he loves his family, what he just told you must have come from the desperation caused by the trouble at home and this recent case you just closed. It can’t be more than that.

Hotch opens his mouth, but he doesn’t say anything for now, he just watches you with an unreadable expression. “I’ll have to return to give the letter to Abby’s son. That’s the least I can do,” he suddenly says, lying back down, but he faces you. “Come with me.”

You take a deep breath as you watch him, but then you pick up your phone from the nightstand and put on the robe you left on the foot of the bed. “I’ll beg JJ to let me sleep in her room. Or I’ll take yours since you’re clearly planning to stay here,” you tell him. “I’ll wake you up in the morning.”

“Okay, fine,” he mumbles, his face already buried into the pillow your head rested on a few minutes ago.

[narfin-frood]

another little comic abt wander's time as the interim guitarist for ninety ounce nihilists .... i cannot stop thinking abt it

single image spread, transcript, thumbnails & other ramblings under the cut

TRANSCRIPT:

[an empty stage with a ninety ounce nihilists banner hanging from the top. the work lights are on, showing nobody but wander coiling a length of wire onstage. tumbleweed hums to himself as he works, but within a moment, the lights flick off with a loud CLUNK]

TUMBLEWEED: ummm... hey! couldja turn those back on?

[no response, so wander goes back to what he was doing in the dark]

TUMBLEWEED: s'pose not

[a band member appears in the next frame. she has a head like a hammerhead shark]

BAND MEMBER: hey, tumbleweed

TUMBLEWEED: well hi there!

BAND MEMBER: how come you still stick around?

[tumbleweed looks away sheepishly, but he still responds]

TUMBLEWEED: well, you're my friends! mr. threat is, too... he just don't know it yet

BAND MEMBER: ...he hates you. and he treats you like garbage. he's...he's making money off you, and he's not even giving you any credit. much less the cash you generate!!

[tumbleweed shrugs.]

TUMBLEWEED: never expected him to.

BAND MEMBER: wh...well, you should.

[tumbleweed takes his hat off and stuffs the coil of wire inside as he speaks]

TUMBLEWEED: it's alright. i'm doin' him a favor. y'all needed a guitar, n' i happen'ta have one. i don't expect nothin' in return

[the band member glances off stage with a sour expression towards three other members of the band, including major threat himself.]

BAND MEMBER: let me give you a hand.

---

ok so the band member i included doesnt have a name, but here she is in the show, along with the rest of the ninety ounce nihilists, all vaguely middle-aged

i really realllly wanna draw them all when they were active as nozn because i love to dress up funky guys like them. theyre so fun. anyways.

i think wander is the reason nozn breaks up in the first place. they get back together in the future, yeah, after major threat makes up with them, however he goes about that. but like, the comical lengths i think major threat would go through just to keep wander at arm's length would be a tipping point for the rest of the band, because they'd start to realize how poorly they were being treated.

i think the straw that breaks the camel's back would be wander attempting to provide backing vocals and being immediately kicked out of the band. the kicker being that it's for a song he wrote, and all the other members would quickly follow him, because, hey, what the fuck, dude. what did he ever do to you. what did WE do to you for that matter.

ANYWAYYYZZZZ if anybody has like name suggestions for them or anything let me know! honestly i'm defaulting to calling them all different alien variations on trent and reznor because i think it would be funny to do

[buskingalbatross]

AmazingPhil channel marathon musings

during a pre-show q&a back in november, in response to a question about what show someone should binge next, dan said they should watch all of the AmazingPhil channel from the start. I was not the person who asked this (nor was I at this show), but regardless I did decide I wanted to take dan’s suggestion seriously. just a few days ago, I finished watching all of AmazingPhil in chronological order. and now i really want to talk about what it was like and why I would recommend marathoning his channel to pretty much anyone—because it was a blast.

I watched all of the 369 currently public AmazingPhil videos over the course of 35 days, which is from my perspective a pretty casual marathon. 369/35 = roughly 11 videos a day, though due to algorithm and monetization policy stuff, phil’s videos became longer in duration around 2015-2016; for many years, most of his videos were around 4 minutes long or less, which for me meant that early on in this marathon I was watching more videos per day, and then later on my pace slowed. phil’s videos with dan are usually pretty long as well, so if I had something like a baking video or wdapteo up next to watch, I might have only watched one or two videos that day. 

unsurprisingly, watching all of phil’s videos in order in a relatively short span of time gave me a really cool perspective on how phil has grown as a person and as a YouTuber over the past eighteen years. surprising to me, though, was how I felt like watching his channel in such a linear way felt a bit like coming to know who phil is for the very first time, again. despite having watched his videos for over a decade, i feel like i understand his style and creativity and personality more fully, and in general better, than I did before. watching 2007 phil become 2009 phil become 2011 phil and so on in the span of a few days or a week meant seeing clearly how his sense of humor evolved, how his editing and creativity developed, how his perspectives on life and relationship with his audience shifted. much as when you binge an entire tv or book series and immediately afterwards feel like you’re brimming with information, and have all the context, that’s sort of how I felt. and it was new for me because I’d never done that with phil’s content before—I’d never followed the course of his life the way you might a fictional character’s. 

AmazingPhil is also an incredible capsule of 2000s, 2010s, and 2020s Western internet culture, obviously. it’s like an anthropologist from the future with a very hyperspecific thesis topic’s dream treasure horde. what a person can learn about one corner of the world, and one corner of society, from AmazingPhil’s videos is, well, a lot. I see so much cultural value in AmazingPhil, it’s insane. his videos are not sketches, essays, and commentaries on society and life like Dan’s, but I’d make the argument (as I’m sure most of you would) that they’re just as important and critical to helping people understand themselves and the world they live in. and the kind of people they want to be, too, perhaps.

there were also certain videos that stuck with me more than they had in the past. I discovered new favorite videos and videos that I considered more interesting than I previously had. (I tried just now to make a list of some of these but it rapidly got too long, so instead I’ll restrict myself to mentioning only one, a new favorite, from 2021: “I Got Catfished.” - which i think is a fantastic example of phil’s storytelling style). dnp have both said before that they view life as a performance – and phil is without a sliver of doubt a magical and incredible performer. he knows so well how to tell stories with words, pacing, structures, and effects that are hilarious and entertaining; he turns anecdotes from his life into these amazing whimsical pieces of art made in a way no other person has ever made things. YouTube has from the beginning presented him with the perfect way to be creative in a way that suits him. and more than that, i found that it was never even remotely unpleasant to watch his videos every day for over a month. there is simply not an AmazingPhil video that doesn’t bring me joy and make me sit there smiling like a fool. my cheek muscles are probably stronger than they were 35 days ago. 

so, to you I say, go: watch all of AmazingPhil, draw your own conclusions from his current oeuvre and deepen your parasocial relationship with Phil Lester in ways you cannot yet comprehend. I really recommend. 

(final notes: one side effect of watching all of phil’s videos was being unexpectedly yet thoroughly convinced he does indeed possess psychic talents. even though i don’t believe in magical anything, i do now believe phil lester inherited prescience from his grandmother.) 

(also dan is completely right that every time phil changes his hair, he regenerates into an entirely new man.)

(also also I made an AmazingPhil spotify playlist that is highly specific to my music tastes but that anyone is welcome to listen to all the same) ✨🐗💙🥱

[jiinxswife]

Jinx x fem!reader relationship headcanons

Ahhh, today’s post came out late because tumblr sucks and it didn’t post the writing, making me loose it all and have to write it all over again >:(

Complain to it

Warnings: SFW headcanons, spoilers season 2

•you don’t catch her eyes, she’s too busy dealing with life to even think about a relationship, she catch yours

•it’s hard to approach her, really hard, principally after she becomes q Zaun hero. Everyone wants to hurt her, everyone wants to manipulate her, no one knows how she truly is, at least, that’s what she thinks

•has a hard time trusting you on the start, what would a stranger that she had never seen before want with her other then maybe status, money or the reward for her head?

•when you finally manages to approach her, just enough for her to let you spend some time with her, you two grow close rather fast. She’s touch starved, has no one to talk with, no one to share her ideas other then the voices of her old family, so she tells you about everything

•you probably are the one to ask for a relationship, she would never allow herself to get that vulnerable, and she says yes, even if she’s a bit confused about what she feels about you (don’t worry, soon she realizes that you’re the woman of her life and that she loves you)

•loves public display of affection, is there any better manner then to show to the whole Zaun that you genuinely love her? That she found someone that can love her as she is? Without trying to change her, without seeing her as Powder, but Jinx. If you start it by yourself or immediately contributes with her affection, she will get even happier

•as Said before, she loves public displays of affection, and as much as she loves your physical touch, she struggles to take it well sometimes, she will tense up and yelp when you start the affection stuff, blame that on her whole life, she would only get affection from dying people (silco COUGH COUGH) and when being manipulated (ALSO SILCO COUGH COUGH)

•will zone out sometimes, you will be cuddling her, dancing with her, whatever, and she will just stare at you, a frown forming on her face, her eyes expressionless, muscles tense, just waiting for you to hurt her. With time, these episodes become less

•isn’t vocal about her affection, she will never say “I love you”, not when you ask her out or even on your first time sleeping together, the closets you get of these three words are small, almost hidden “ily” ‘s written on gifts that she makes you

•talking about gifts, she shows how much she loves you by giving you gifts, so expect to have a room full of grenades and pistols that she made herself!

•will definitely ask you do to her nails, even if you suck at it, she just wants to feel your warmth

•follows you around when you leave, principally when the voices are louder, telling her that someone can hurt you, that someone can steal you, kill you. She makes sure you never know it though, she follows you from shadows

•please, wash her hair for her, it makes her feel so loved and cared for like she never was as a child

•if you like to whisper sweet things for her when she’s asleep and she finds out, she will definitely pretend to be asleep just to listen to you

Now, since im evil, let’s finish this with something sad. >:3

•expect her to either become sightly paranoid, defensive and somewhat even possessive once Isha dies or try to leave you completely, not wanting you to have the same destiny as everyone she ever loved.

•silco died, isha died, everyone she ever loved did, she will try her best to leave you, to protect you from her

[alt3rnata]

Going to answer them all :)

How many fics have you worked on since January? 

11 not including translations. 

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? 

Everything. This is the first time I've written anything this year since I tried to write a Dragon Age Origins fic in school (that was a long time ago). 

3. What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.) 

Xenoblade Chronicles 3. God bless Monolith studio.

4. How many fandoms did you write for this year? 

Two. The second one is a micro fandom around some black metal band albums I listened accidentally, but that was fun.  

5. What ships captured your heart? 

Oleg/Ashera (XC3) is the main one, which is funny because in my head it has nothing to do with True Love Till Death. 

6. What characters captured your heart? 

Oleg (Teach) from XC3, James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2, Lann from Pathfinders WOTR.

7. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year? 

Yeah, see question 2. 

8. What fic meant the most to you to write? 

“Slayer and the Beast” because it was the first, and I wrote it with the best intentions, without putting anything dark into it, as I sometimes like to do.

9. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? 

This one isn’t published yet. It’s working title is "The Element of Chaos" and it’s XC3 post-canon. 

10. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? 

“What You Deserve” because I had to keep some quite violent details in my head, and I was glad to finally let them go. But in the process I learned a lot of new things. Hardly anyone can guess how much is put into this text.

11. What fic was the most difficult to write? 

“The Glitch” because it was a self-challenge and I had to fully rewrite that bitch 5 or 6 times, I don’t remember… But I had some fun there as a game developer writing fic about XC3 as a game.

12. What fic was the easiest to write? 

“Intersecting Lines”. I made it to relax (and now it's my work with the most kudos). 

13. What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year? 

“Slayer and the Beast” is the longest and “Intersecting Lines” is the shortest. I tried to express my thoughts briefly and throw out everything unnecessary. Although sometimes this leads to me presenting events too truncated. 

14. What were your go-to writing songs? 

Esoterica’s “In Dreams” and Guilt Machine’s “On this perfect day” whole albums. 

15. What was the hardest fic to title? 

“It's a small world. It's a vast world.” Still not sure if it’s good. 

16. What's your favorite title of the year? 

“Slayer and the Beast”, proud of it. 

17. Share your favorite opening line 

“At first, everything is dark. It is silent, the only sound you can hear is the ticking of a clock. Then the sound of footsteps becomes audible, getting closer. A key turns in the lock. And suddenly the darkness is cut by a narrow strip of bright light, and then it grows into a rectangle as the man outside opens the door and steps inside. He closes the door behind him and flicks the switch. Let there be light.”

— "The Element of Chaos" 

18. Share your favorite ending line 

“Say hi to Rex and A. Someday we will all meet again, if you weren’t kidding... But now I have to go home. I think boys are already making breakfast.”   She gets out of the water, picks up her stuff, and takes one last look at the horizon. Then she walks barefoot down the path, humming to herself, until she disappears from sight.  In the very heart of Origin, all three hear that distant greeting. A is the one who smiles. 

— “The Glitch” 

19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue 

He loosened the noose. Ashera took a shuddering breath and coughed.    “Was it enough like me? Did you have your fun?” he asked. His own voice sounded hoarse.    “I would rate this nine out of ten,” Ashera answered when she finally caught her breath and was able to speak. Not what he expected to hear from a person he had just nearly killed. 

— “Slayer and the Beast” 

20. Share your funniest line 

Well, I have a weird concept of ‘funny’. 

“But Oleg no longer had hundreds of years of life in store for him, only a measly 150 years at most. He remembered well the feeling that had appeared immediately after the Intersection, as if time had suddenly sped up. For those races that had previously had a longer lifespan and had grown up with this knowledge, the worry that they would not have enough time for anything had become commonplace. Against this background, the carefree way in which the short-lived races of both worlds, whose lives had, on the contrary, lengthened on average, spent their time, even caused some envy.” 

— "The Element of Chaos" 

21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? 

Every time when the characters just do something I did not intend for them and the story takes an unexpected turn. 

22. What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand? 

I use MS Word + I write by hand some notes, plans, timelines, etc. 

23. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? 

I have one piece of writing that I can reread without thinking that "I could have done it better, but my skills weren't good enough." It's very satisfying.

24. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? 

Just re-reading it and looking at stats. 

25. How did you recharge between fics? 

I don't need to recharge, it is my leisure. I'm constantly reading other people's work, fiction and non-fiction, and I have a life to gain new impressions. 

26. Did you create fanworks other than fic? 

Nope. 

27. How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!) 

Hmm, Kinktober 2024, I guess. 

28. If this were an awards show, who would you thank? 

My audience of me, myself and I. And that one reader who left so good, thoughtful comments under “The Glitch” and appreciated my silly tech jokes and weird ideas. This made me feel that my work was worthwhile. 

29. What's left on your to-do list for 2024? 

I don’t have a plan, actually, things will be done when I have time. 

30. What would you like to write next year? 

I wish to work more on non-romantic and original things or AUs to practice working on storylines. Because I often find myself making up a storyline around a romantic line and fitting the events to it, rather than thinking them through as something independent. Of course, that doesn't mean inspiration won't take me in a completely different direction. 

A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!

How many fics have you worked on since January?

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

How many fandoms did you write for this year?

What ships captured your heart?

What characters captured your heart?

Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

What fic meant the most to you to write?

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

What fic was the most difficult to write?

What fic was the easiest to write?

What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

What were your go-to writing songs?

What was the hardest fic to title?

What's your favorite title of the year?

Share your favorite opening line

Share your favorite ending line

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Share your funniest line

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

How did you recharge between fics?

Did you create fanworks other than fic?

How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

What would you like to write next year?

[momotonescreaming]

Stripping Back the Coats

Rating: T | WC: 5.2k | Evan Buckley/Tommy Kinard Tommy & Chim Friendship, Post Break-Up, Hurt Comfort

[read on AO3]

Apropos of nothing, or what looked like it at first glance, Tommy broke the silence. Shattered the stagnation in the air that swamped his living room. The movie he and Chim were watching had finished, the room falling into quiet.

Hand loosely cradling a bottle of craft beer — some fancy brew he'd been talking up that was as nice tasting as it was expensive. Not that Chim was just going to admit that, at least not right away — he'd let Tommy sit with it first. Tommy, who was perched on the edge of his comfortably large couch like he was unsure he was allowed to be there. One move and the string holding him together would be pulled taut, and he'd spring off the couch to standing. He looked like he wasn't sure whether he wanted to collapse or stand at attention.

Instead he hovered in this weird middle ground of tight posture, perched on the edge of his couch. Like he was afraid he'd shatter with one wrong move, like glass spun too thin.

Chim thinks he's not as put together as he likes to seem — especially now, with the break up hanging over his shoulders.

"Did he ever tell you about our first date?" Tommy asks, brows gently furrowed, the words falling out of his mouth and onto the floor. Chim just hums, he's listening, acknowledging the rhetorical question. Even now, his words feel carefully chosen, strung together in the gossamer shield that seems to hold Tommy together. He. Not Evan, not even Buck. Chim wonders if it's because he knew he'd stutter over which to call him.

It'd feel weird hearing the name Buck come out of his mouth. Hell, it feels weird when he calls him Chimney. There's something comforting about being Howie to him. Buck must feel much the same, Chim imagines, getting to be Evan to him. There's just something special about how Tommy says names. Like they're special, like it's an honour just to get the privilege to say it. Maybe Chim's reading too far into it.

He takes a sip of Tommy's craft beer, his own bottle cradled in his hand, and it goes down smooth. He turns to look at Tommy, at his friend, and tries to leave his face blank and carefully earnest. As much as he likes to joke and kid and tease, he knows when it's not the time for it, and Tommy is barely holding himself together. If he looks close enough, he's sure he can see the cracks. That spindly thread holding him in place.

"Dinner and a movie." Tommy continues, and his voice sounds almost carefully flat. Each word finding it's place on his tongue. Chim tilts his head to look at him as he speaks. "We went to Miceli's — this nice Italian place, Old Hollywood, y'know? — ate, got a pitcher and talked."

He huffs out a laugh, more an exhale of air than anything, smiles at the memory. Chim smiles with him. Whatever he's thinking, there's something genuine there. Can see it etched in the lines of his face, in the lines gathering in the corner of his eyes, the curve and tilt of his mouth.

He looks more himself than he has all evening. More like the Tommy that Chim met flying a helicopter through a hurricane, and the Tommy he re-befriended after. Snarky, and cool, and lighter than he ever was at the 118. Even after Chim saved his life. Even after Gerrard left. He seemed like almost an entirely different person. More open.

Turns out there's still a long way to go.

"Beer wasn't even that good," Tommy jokes, turning to Chim with an almost conspiratorial smile.

"Saved the good stuff for me, huh?" Chim teases, placing a hand on his chest. "I'm flattered."

"You should be, I got these on special order." Tommy teases back, gesturing to his beer bottle with his own. "Not sure they're even making them anymore — it was a limited edition batch, y'know?"

Chim lets him talk through the very clear tangent, the very clear distraction Tommy is letting himself go down. Talk about the craft beer he's passionate about, that he was saving. Neither of them bring up the very real possibility that Tommy was saving it for date night with Buck.

He takes a sip of the limited edition beer, and watches something flicker over Tommy's face. The smile fades, the teasing smirk, and he looks down at the floor. At the rug beneath their feet.

"But yeah. The beer wasn't great but I really liked talking with him. He was earnest, interesting, cute. There was something about him that really drew me in, y'know?" Tommy smiles again, another sad thing, that same flickering over his expression. A glimpse of the new Tommy, happier Tommy — before he's gone again. "But, uh, it really didn't seem like he had processed what it meant to date another man?"

Tommy dims, his voice quieting, Chim only hearing him by virtue of Tommy wanting him to hear. Tilting his head towards him. The silence around them roars, the softness of his voice easing through it.

"He still hasn't." He says, voice walking the line between that careful flatness from before and an undercurrent of sheer sadness. There's something raw about it, something real, even moreso than the Tommy he was after he left the 118. This is deep-seated stuff, this sadness.

Chim knew that Tommy liked Buck, he's not stupid, but it sort of hits him in the moment just how much. It may have just started with thinking the other man was cute, earnest, interesting, but there was no doubt about it that it had settled into something real about it for Tommy.

And now it sort of sounds like Buck wasn't. Chim doesn't quite know what to think, not with what he's seen of Buck — he's tasted his baking, saw him drowning in oversized hoodies and staring at his phone on shift.

Maybe he didn't show all that to Tommy? He doesn't know what to say, how to say it, so he doesn't. And fuck it's hard, keeping what he knows of Buck in, but he does. Takes another sip of beer. He wants to know what Tommy thinks.

"Eddie walked in the restaurant with his girlfriend — Marisol, I think? — and spotted us immediately." Tommy continues, voice still low and sad, but he looks at Chim with questioning brows as he mentions Marisol. To which Chim just nods. Must not have met her much then, he thinks. "Buck panicked."

Tommy pulls a face as he says it, Chim following suit, his face screwing up as he hears the name Buck fall out of Tommy's mouth. He's right, it sounds weird. It feels wrong. Not allowed. Like something wonderful and special has been taken back. Pulled away.

He lets the feeling sit weird and awkward in his gut, Tommy rescinding his right to call him Evan, and focuses on the words.

Buck panicked.

A joke is sitting on the tip of Chim's tongue, a snarky comment, something teasing. Guess he really bucked it up. He'd say it to ease the mood if he didn't think it would upset Tommy. Turning his name into something bad. Even though Chim doesn't mean it maliciously — that's his brother-in-law, after all.

"He'd only just told me that it was his first date with a guy — I was ready to play it off as just new friends grabbing a beer — I wasn't going to out him before he was ready. I'm not that sort of guy—"

"Hey." Chim interrupts. Tommy seems like he needs it. To be shaken out of it, his voice speeding up, just slightly, looking up at Chim with wide eyes. All these tells, all these signs, are so small and easily missed. If Chim wasn't looking he had a feeling it would fly right past him. "I know you're not. Buck knows you're not."

Tommy takes a deep breath. Shaky on the exhale. He looks like he needed to hear it, there's a small easing of the tension in his shoulders. But he wasn't going to ask for it. There's a lot more to Tommy then he wants it to seem on the outside. His befriending him, his move to Harbour, his coming out — all first steps in opening up. But maybe he hadn't taken any more.

So if telling Tommy he was a good dude, helped, then Chim would remind him. He was, of course. He saw the start of his journey first hand. He remembers that first hug in the locker room. Love actually, monster trucks, craft beer. He saw Tommy's evolution, of sorts. He saw how happy he made Buck, how happy he seemed in return.

"But…" Tommy continues, steadying his breath, getting himself under control.

"But Buck put his foot in it."

"Yeah," Tommy says with a shaky laugh, an exhale of air. He doesn't think it's funny. "He told Eddie we were going to go out and pick up hot chicks."

"Shit." Chim winces, hissing air through his teeth and cringing backwards. "On your first date?"

Tommy hums in affirmation. Lets out another small, humourless laugh. Face almost impassive, as if he's processing as he speaks. Rolling everything that happened through his mind like he's thumbing at a marble, running thought by thought like a string of rosary beads. Chim wonders if it's helping.

"I cut the date short." Tommy says simply, an almost wistful sadness to his words. Eyes faraway, thinking about what was and what could have been. "Left him outside the restaurant instead of taking him to the movie."

"Nothing wrong with that." Chim says carefully, turning to Tommy. Nudging his side with his elbow. Wiggles his eyebrows, plays it up. "Sounds like he deserved it."

"Maybe a little." Tommy admits with a weak smile. He sighs, stale breath falling out of his mouth, dropping the smile. Scuffing his socked feet against the rug. "I don't want to be too hard on him."

"I won't tell him if you won't," Chim jokes, tipping his beer bottle towards the other man, before drawing it to his mouth and taking a sip.

Tommy lets out a weak snort.

"Buck invited me back to Miceli's for our six month anniversary," Tommy continues on an exhale of air, and it seems like the battle is leaving him. Not that there was much to begin with. Tension seeping out of his shoulders and dripping onto the floor, easing into something sad. Something resigned. "Didn't tell me it was for our anniversary when he invited me, but we both knew what it was. Maybe we should have talked about it more."

"You can't get caught up in what-ifs, Tommy," Chim adds simply. He knows it's not that easy, stopping going down the spiral of what if things were different, what if you changed things, what if you did xyz. Before he met Maddie, with Tatiana — there were a lot of what-ifs. Hell, there might have been even more once he started dating Maddie. "I've been there, and it's never any good. Even for the little things. You'll just drive yourself crazy."

He watches the other man sigh, dropping his head again. Cradling his beer bottle in the palm of his hands. Thumbing gently at the label, picking at a loose corner wet from the moisture of the cool bottle. "Yeah, Maybe."

Tommy takes a deep breath, sips his beer, and continues. Still thumbing at the label of his bottle. "A lot like that first time, it was going good until the end."

"Maybe Miceli's is cursed?" Chim teases, smirk quirking up the corner of his mouth. "Like his cowboy."

He hears Tommy snort, as he looks out over his living room. He's been barely looking at him as they talk, but Chim doesn't mind. It's easier, he knows, when no one is looking at you. When you can't see their reactions, their emotions, what they think.

As nice as Tommy's living room is — very cozy, very homey, with rugs and throw blankets and plush furniture — he draws his eye to Tommy himself. Watches his face, his posture, the way he holds himself. Watches for the things he shows, but doesn't say.

"Some lady came up to our table mid-dinner. Blonde, very Hollywood-pretty." Tommy's voice drops as he speak. Low, but not quiet. The words falling out of his mouth as his eyes drift somewhere far away. "Skipped like three tables in order to get to us. Asked Buck to take a photo of her and her friends."

"Flirting." Chim comments.

"Very obviously. Didn't seem to care that we were in the middle of dinner." He sighs, his face almost sagging under the weight of the emotion in his words. "He's hot, I kind of can't blame her."

"Except you can." Chim notes, eyes scanning Tommy's face, watches the upset twitch of the muscles in his jaw. "Or you can blame Buck?"

"I don't know." Tommy admits, and he can see he's telling the truth. "Buck was flustered, looked at me, but when he went to take their photo he automatically went to use his phone and she asked if he was trying to get her number."

He purses his lips together as he speaks, as if he's trying to stop them from turning down into a frown. His brows furrowing. "Buck didn't get her number — obviously — took their photo and went to sit back down with me. But."

"It hurt anyway?" Chim assesses, shifting subtly so he's closer to Tommy on the couch. He looks like he needs it. Someone near. He hopes he's helping just by listening.

"So much." Tommy says on a shudder. "I didn't quite realise I was waiting for him to debuff her, to tell her he was on a date with his boyfriend — until he didn't. I didn't want to say anything, ruin the mood, make it all about me."

"Hey," Chim comments, voice warm and comforting. He places a hand on Tommy's back, hoping it's a comforting presence, a comforting weight on the man's broad frame. "It wouldn't have been making it all about you. Especially not what happened last time you were there."

"It felt like a step backwards. Like, he could tell his family he has a boyfriend, but he's still ashamed to be seen with a man in public." Tommy sighs, a sad almost pitiful thing. Leaning into the weight of Chim's hand on his back. "Especially around a pretty woman."

Oh Buck.

Chim just purses his lips, and gently rubs Tommy's back. Hand moving in gentle circles. He doesn't know what to say to that. He's had his own struggles in love, in work, but he's never felt like the people he's been with have been ashamed to be seen with him. Even Tatiana. She started dating a Chim that didn't exist, sure, but they went on dates in public. And people knew it.

There's no way Buck meant for that to be the way his actions were portrayed, the man is head over heels for his boyfriend — but he can see how it came across that way. He can see the way it was the crack that helped grow the rift between them.

He just hums, and lets him continue.

"I had a hard time coming out. Worked hard to finally be authentically myself. Upended my whole life to do it." Tommy admits, his voice wavering. Wet, and thick. Emotions pushing at the words, at each syllable, begging to be let out. "I can't be shoved back in the closet. Be some dirty little secret. Not again. I can't."

Wrapping an arm around Tommy's broad frame, the expanse of muscle, Chim rests his beer bottle on the table next to him and turns his attention towards the other man. The other man who really seems like he needs it right now.

Tommy never really talked about his experience coming out, and Chim didn't ask. It didn't feel like it was his place to do so. They became friends over their time at the 118, and they caught up for beers a couple times after Tommy had moved to the 217. And he had cottoned on that Tommy came out — but he didn't ask for specifics. He worked with Gerrard, he knew Tommy was in the army, he could guess what it was like.

It hurt knowing that Buck put him right back there. It hurt even more knowing he didn't do it on purpose. And from what he'd heard of the breakup from Maddie — there was some reversal there, with what Tommy said before he walked out.

But that wasn't helpful now.

Today was about Tommy. About letting him talk, process. And Chim was there to help. It's not like there was anyone else. Tommy kept people at arms length and the only other people close enough were going to be with Buck. Eddie, Maddie, Hen. So Chim went to Tommy's, and he doesn't regret it.

"When he asked me for a second chance, after that disastrous first date," Tommy started, Chim huffing out a small laugh. An exhale of air out his nose at the way Tommy said disastrous. And after hearing what happened, he kind of can't blame him. "He said sorry, of course. And then he told me he wasn't sure what he was ready for. But he was ready for something and he wanted it with me."

Tommy smiles sadly, and Chim smiles along with him. It sounds almost romantic. That rom-com shit that Tommy not-so secretly loves. Sweetness and romance and earnest declarations. No wonder he fell for Buck. The smile drops from Tommy's face just as soon as it had appeared. "I should have listened when he said he wasn't sure what he was ready for."

"What do you mean?" Chim prompts, more curious about what Tommy's going to say than anything else. He can guess, of course. Turns out that he wasn't ready for something with me after all.

"He asked me to move in, did he tell you that?" Tommy questions, turning to Chim with brows furrowed. Gesturing with his beer bottle as he talks. "Brought up marriage and everything."

That, Chim did know, and not from Maddie. Buck had brought it up at the station, talking to everyone in the kitchen, and Chim had to bite his lip to hold back the snark sitting on his tongue. Into your loft, Buck? You rent, and Tommy owns his house. He had excused himself to go sort inventory. With how distraught Buck seemed, that also wasn't the time. Even though Chim was right. And it sounds like Tommy thinks so too. He hums that he's listening.

"And I just — what if we did move in, what then?" Tommy continues, voice strained. Chim can feel his chest start to rise and fall faster underneath his hand. "What if we did move in and Buck realised that what he was ready for wasn't me? What if he wanted more? What if it's me holding him back from really looking at his sexuality, from being able to comfortably call someone his boyfriend in public?"

"And you panicked." Chim states.

"And I panicked." Tommy confirms, breath stuttering as he exhales. Clenching his hands, steadying himself, as he takes another shaky breath. "I couldn't handle it. The idea that he finally figures himself out and doesn't want me anymore. That I'm not enough. He said he admired me, that I was confident and comfortable, and was one of the brave queer people who came before him. And I felt like a fraud."

"I've been there." Chim admits, the words falling out of his mouth before he can really process them. He turns to look at Tommy, pulling a face as he continues. Tommy watches him speak with searching eyes, his gaze roaming his face. Tommy's shared so much, much more than it seems he has in a really long time — the least Chim can do is reveal some things of his own. " The feeling like a fraud thing, I mean. Years ago, I was dating this girl — Tatiana, I don't think you met her before you left the 118?" he continues with furrowed brows. Tommy just shrugs. "But that's beside the point."

Shaking his head, as if to shake off the words. Tommy doesn't say anything, and for a moment Chim wishes he still had that beer in his hands. Something to fidget with, that's not the shirt on Tommy's back.

"We were together for far longer than we should have been. I was always complaining to the others how bored she always was, how hard it was to impress her. Hot though." Tommy snorts at that, and it feels like a win. A little reprieve from all the heavy shit they've been sifting through. "So I started exaggerating the truth, shall we say."

"Is that what we're calling it now?" Tommy jokes, turning towards him in return, smirking faintly. Chim notices he doesn't pull away from his hand resting on his back. So he doesn't move, and continues talking.

"I wasn't lying!" Chim laughs. "Everything I said really happened! It just wasn't me who did it." He pulls a face, and tilts his head, conceding his own point. "And dialled up to 11. But it wasn't a lie! Technically. Maybe."

"Okay so you were lying."

"Yeah." Chim sighs. "Probably. I took things others did on call, went back to my apartment, and told her wild tales about what daring stunts I had done. Saving children and animals. Doing The Maneuver. I had to go home and pretend everyday."

And that gets Tommy listening, the smile fading into something earnest, attentive. He's hanging on Chim's every word now. It feels a little weird, oddly raw — telling Tommy these things. Most people he'd be comfortable knowing were there watching that relationship unfold. He's never had to tell anyone before.

"But I was so desperate for a family, a connection, something," Chim says, trying not to focus on Tommy's eyes drilling holes in the side of his head. "That I was willing to lie to my girlfriend to do it. Let her manipulate me, shape me, blind me to what was going on." He lets out a shaky breath, but powers through. For Tommy. "It blew up in my face of course."

"How so?"

"I proposed to her, she said no, told me she cheated on her ex-fiance, and then I got rebar through the skull."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Howie," Tommy exclaims, words falling out on the exhale.

"Not I'm not saying that that's going to happen to you,"Chim jokes, sliding his hand across Tommy's back and gesturing at him. He slides his voice into something more serious. "Or even that's what you and Evan were doing, just that I get it. It's hard."

"Yeah," Tommy shudders. "I spent so much of my life pretending, half the time not even knowing that it's what I was doing, that I don't know if I know how to stop anymore."

"And you think Buck saw a version of you that wasn't there?"

"Fuck, maybe?" Tommy says, brow furrowed unsure. He turns to look at Chim, a little distraught, pulling a face, before he turns away again. Stares back into the deep black of his TV Screen. "Probably. Which is probably my own fucking fault, not talking to him. But it's not like he asked either?"

"Do you think you wanted to be asked?" Chim prompts, guessing the answer is going to be another maybe. Or at least — that's what Tommy is going to tell him the answer is. He has a feeling the answer is secretly, obviously, yes. Tommy Kinard wants to be known, craves it so desperately, but is terrified of it in equal measure.

"If he did ask," Tommy starts, voice flat again, mouth down turned as he speaks. "It would have shattered the pedestal it felt like he put me on. And I don't know if that's worse."

Chim hums that he's listening again.

"He said he admired me, and Howie, you knew me way back then — there's nothing to admire."

Now that is just a blatant lie. There is something to admire about overcoming what Tommy overcame, about getting out and coming out. But he really doesn't think Tommy wants to hear it. He wouldn't believe it. He didn't believe it when Buck said it — the person he's most likely to believe.

Chim's not Buck, and he's only heard bits and pieces about his thought process, what he was going through on his side of things — but there's no way Buck meant that maliciously either. He knows about Buck being thrown for a loop, about talking to Maddie and Josh and something about Glee? But he knows for sure that the core of Buck's admiration for Tommy is love.

He loves him, and is proud of him. The man he was and the man he's become. His big beautiful boyfriend who's come so far and settled into himself.

It just sounds like Tommy's shit runs a lot deeper than anyone knew. Maybe even Tommy himself. He's learning so much about Tommy, here on his couch, the two of them spilling their guts. It's kind of nice, getting to know him more, this absent sort of friend he's know for over a decade.

He just wishes it wasn't like this.

"I'm not comfortable. I'm not confident. Not about this." Tommy says, shaking his head, and Chim wraps his arm back around his friend. "I'm not some paragon of gay rights. Gay pride. Someone who paved the way for those who came after, like he said when he brought up marriage. Fuck."

He shudders out another shaky breath, and Chim wishes he knew what to say. What joke to crack to make it all better. But he doesn't, so he listens. Just stays there for his friend. It feels like a long time since anyone has been there for Tommy. Not until Buck, at least.

"Did you know I've never been to pride?" Tommy asks, and Chim swears he can see his bottom lip wobble as he says that. Just ever so slightly. Until Tommy ducks his head, bowing it in a facsimile of prayer. Eyes shut, lashes shadowing his cheeks, that wobble to his bottom lip. "It always just made me feel like I didn't deserve to be there. Like I don't count. So I don't go."

Chim squeezes his side, draws him in like Tommy isn't bigger than him. Like he can tuck him underneath his arm completely, curled up like a sad roly poly of a man. There's nothing he can say to this. He'd go with Tommy to L.A. pride in a heartbeat, bring the whole 118 if it would make him feel better. But he really doesn't know if it would. Like a dehydrated man drowning in the depths of the ocean, it feels a little like throwing him to the sharks.

"I've always wanted to. Go to pride, that is." Tommy whispers. He clears his throat and looks at Howie. "He admired me because I'm one of brave queer men who paved the way to gay marriage, and I can't even go to pride without feeling like a fake."

He's never seen Tommy this open, this exposed, like ever. Even after years of friendship.It kind of hurts to see, pulls at his heartstrings hurts, seeing just how broken and vulnerable he is. Chim doesn't know what to say. What can he say about pride, without sounding fake himself. Like a well-meaning ally extending himself too much.

He knows about learning about your own culture, about exploring that part of yourself, he just doesn't know if now is the time to say it.

"I'm scared, Howie." Tommy admits quietly, sadly. "I'm scared that Buck is going to finally start learning about the queer community, about our depressing history, about what being a queer man means to him — and he'll realise that I have no part in that."

"So you broke your own heart before he could break yours." Tommy nods at Chim's words. He carefully doesn't mention that he broke Buck's as well. He wonders if a part of Tommy knew that would be a side effect. But that maybe the breakup would give him room to figure himself out, label his sexuality, and then he's ready to move on. Be a happy queer man, without the queer elder who opened the doors and stepped away. Who lived through the shit so he could live in the sun.

Howie can't say for sure, only guess, and he doubts either of them are going to tell him.

Neither of them are moving on.

Chim can't even be too mad at the guy for breaking Buck's heart. His own brother-in-law. He's clearly miserable himself, and his words just make him think of Maddie.

"Maddie left, you know?" Chim says, hand rubbing in gentle circles on Tommy's back. He looks across the living room, past the TV, and out the window into Tommy's backyard. Now it's his turn to take a deep breath. "She thought she was doing the right thing, and I don't dispute that — that she thought she was doing what was right for Jee, and for herself, and for us."

He takes another deep, shuddering breath, and looks back at Tommy with a wry look on his face. "But it sucked."

Tommy drops his head, curving his body towards the floor. Hiding his expression, his misty eyes, but from the flash Chim could see — he looks almost ashamed. Which wasn't Chim's intention, to make Tommy feel bad. He just wanted to lay it all out, share his perspective, share Buck's perspective.

"If she needed time, if she needed to slow down, hell — if she needed space — I just wish I could've been there to give it to her." Chim says, still careful to not reveal too much about his time separated from Maddie. Her journey. It was hers to tell, but he thinks the perspective could help Tommy.

Maddie was a runner, the person who leaves — and maybe Tommy is too. Maddie is Buck's sister, first and foremost — But Chim thinks it'd be good for them to talk to one another. She gets it. Just like he gets Buck, the person left behind. He hopes he's helping, telling Tommy this. Voicing his perspective.

"You chased after her?" Tommy asks, looking up at Chim, almost as if he's stating a fact, not voicing a question. They both know what the entirety of chased after implies.

"Of course." Chim replies, nodding. "I love her."

Tommy's eyes start to water again — not that they ever stopped — and Chim sees the light reflect through watery tears before Tommy bows his head again. Doesn't let him look, hides the way his face contorts as tears start to fall. His voice is thick and wet as he speaks.

"I love him, you know?" Tommy says, sounding all choked up, and Chim's heart clenches at the sound. He wraps his arm around his friend, and tugs gently, pulling him towards his side. "I didn't think it'd hurt this much."

Chim doesn't say anything, just holds Tommy as he starts to cry.

[luciferanalyzestar]

Viv in general don’t understand “kill your darlings” (remove characters and plotlines that aren’t necessary to the story so it can flow better), she has habit of constantly adding new characters and plotlines, hazbin hotel itself expects you to care or give a damn about a large cast of characters in only eight episodes!

I yapped too much lmao.

I think once Viv gets attached to a character's design, she does not want to scrap the character. She is (was? I remember seeing that she does not draw that much anymore) a character designer at the end of the day.

The reason I like to talk about the character designs so much is because I like to create original characters. I was a Sonic artist who was posting their characters on DeviantArt back in the day. The act of creating original characters is a fun process.

After graduating high school, I created around 34 - 40 characters. I just made them for fun and they did not really have a story, a universe they live in, or personalities (more like bullet point traits).

Years later, I gave certain characters full written out personalities, backstories, and other lore stuff. If I could not think of a personality or role in the story for a character, I got rid of characters regardless of how attach I was when I created them. They no longer serve a purpose.

Now, I currently have 22 characters because I view characters as tools to move a story forward. I understand Hazbin having a decent number of characters because it is (more like was) about a hotel. Every episode in Hazbin introduces a new character or characters and more are on the way and minor characters we saw in season one will get more screen time. (Saint Peter the toilet brush who needs to stay at those golden gates and never show up again).

The time wasted on introduces new characters could have been saved for the hotel residents (Angel and Sir P) and learning more about them as people and their lives on Earth or give us a reason to care about the nameless sinners that feared of getting killed each year.

If I had to rewrite season one, none of the overlords (minus Al because he 'works' at the hotel) would have been included, maybe just small hints at their existence. Kept Adam and Lute in episode one to establish them as villains but the other Heaven characters would have been saved for season two. Lucifer would not appear either, maybe he leaves Charlie voicemails, but she never answers.

In Helluva, certain characters are just there or just for merch. The shit Andrealphus is pulling should have been Stella pulls all the strings to fucked over Stolas. She does not need a brother. There is not even a hint to Andy's existence, his ugly ass just appears out of cold air.

Then there is Vassago who should have been in season one as Stolas' only friend and someone he trusts. Stolas do not speak to each other in Mastermind (I do not think Stolas looks at his direction) nor does Vassago shown up in Sinmas. He would have been used to help Stolas get in contract with Via to make sure she was okay.

Viv creates characters but forgets to add the purpose to them.

[ppnuggiexxx]

-> period headcannons || whb

• characters :: paimon ,, morax ,, amy ,, barbatos

• contains :: fingering ,, paimon's blood fetish obviously ,, clitoral stimulation ,, mentions of both heavy & light periods ,, nasty stuff bc its period blood and im on my period writing this ,, somewhat switch paimon ,, sub amy ,, morax ,, and barbatos ,, afab reader ,, fem reader ,, oral sex ,, face riding ,, vaginal penetration ,, foaming at the mouth restraining myself from adding ronove and glasyal ,, sorry for the excessive word usage of clit ,, noose mention & usage (barbatos) ,, horns for leveraging (barbatos)

- paimon

| • the moment you complain about cramping paimon is all ears ,, after all when you first had your period in hell he was the most interested by it in gehenna

| • it was a bit selfish for him ,, but he couldnt contain his fantasies about period sex ,, how it wouldnt only fulfill his interests and kink but also help you with cramping

| • thus paimon is the first to offer to help ,, ready to assist in any way possible ! he doesnt mind all the blood that comes with ,, rather the opposite; hes quite excited and turned on

| • in the past ,, it was angel blood that he'd enjoy . killing angels wasnt anything new ,, but when their blood spattered onto him it just changed his whole motive

| • when his fingers first enter you ,, he doesn't know what to expect . if youre having a heavy period he'll definitely be surprised by how much comes out ,, though if its light he still enjoys what blood does show

| • paimon's quite traversed with the female body ,, not having to insert his fingers too far in to find your g-spot . massaging the area softly ,, he enjoys the moans pulled form you

| • with you on his lap ,, your back against his chest and legs spread he'll take advantage of the position

| • pressing kisses to your neck and whispering compliments to you ,, one hand occupied with fingering you and the other rubbing circles on your clit

| • if you dont feel up for fingering he'll gladly offer his mouth in replacement ,, taking his time as he eats you out

| • he doesnt mind how bloody his face becomes ,, pressing kisses to your thighs and painting both your bodies with blood

| • every time you get your period ,, hes over the moon and ecstatic about it ,, ready to help you if thats what you so wish . hes just a call away !

- amy

| • he's not too knowledgeable about periods ,, but he does freak out at first ,, thinking youre about to die on him and that was the last thing he needed

| • of course when you explain it all to him ,, he somewhat understands but is more concerned with the fact youre hurting because of it

| • he'll ask if theres anything he can do to take that pain away ,, and with the newfound knowledge of period sex ,, it ends up a little like this :

| • with amy on his back and arms wrapped around your waist ,, youre placed perfectly and ride his face ,, spewing degrading images into his head as he eats you out

| • he becomes more sloppy the more worked up he becomes ,, but after being given advice (he wont say from who) he does focus more on your clitoras after learning it stimulates you more and brings more pleasure

| • " i wonder how satan would think seeing you like this ?" you whispered ,, hand curling into his hair and the other hand on his horn ,, " knowing one of his trusted friend and subordinate is being used like nothing more than a sex toy ."

| • he gets riled up easily ,, and its so easy to put him in degrading situations such as this

| • only using him like hes nothing more ,, maybe sprinkling a little about how gehenna may view him in general should they know just how easily you use him

| • thats not to say you cant ride his dick either ,, keeping him down on his back so you can set the pace yourself ,, please yourself however fast or slow you wish

| • he'll whine and moan about you going slow ,, but youre the one in charge ultimately ,, and he'll follow any instructions given to him

| • rubbing his thumb lightly on your clit while you bounce on him ,, keeping his hands to himself if you ordered him to

| • amy is another person you could always go to if you ever need a little help during your period :) always offering a good time and allowing you to let any anger or frustration out

- morax

| • morax is already knowledgeable with this and knows that medicine isnt the only remedy for your pain

| • after work he will offer himself ,, wanting to take your pain away (alas he has no uterus to claim your cramps) ,, encouraging you to be rough if it helps with your pain and anger more

| • he'll give you a few small chocolates throughout the day (for cravings and as a natural aphrodisiac)

| • when youre both alone ,, whether it be in his room or yours (anywhere from prying eyes really) he'll be unclothed and ready for however you wish to go about it

| • whether its sitting on his face first or having him finger you he's willing to help anyway

| • thick fingers moving in and out of you ,, the other circling your clit as blood attaches to his skin ,, soft moans coming from you

| • his middle and pointer will curl into your g-spot ,, rubbing gently against your clit to pleasure you more

| • morax doesnt mind any mess that comes with this ,, only embracing it as its natural for your body

| • he'll slowly unwrap some of the bandages around his head ,, lowering his mouth to you and licking softly up your labia and towards your clit

| • hes one of the best to receive head from of all the devils ,, morax enjoys taking his time with you and ensuring nothing but pleasure and your safety above all

| • his bandages on his body will be more bloody but he doesnt care for it ,, he does change them often but at this moment he couldnt care for it at all

| • 10/10 cramp remover

- barbatos

| • oh no ! this will not do at all ! barbatos doesnt need his sunshine moping around the palace ,, in pain and miserable

| • he makes sure to take some private time away from work to help your needs ,, always happy to lend a hand to soothe your pain

| • the other devils would understand surely ! of course they would ! they all love you dearly and you being in pain is the last thing they want for you

| • and barbatos is just being a helpful and kind devil

today ,, offering to help take it all away from you <3

| • he has tea prepared ,, the softest blankets on his bed ,, he's even nude and ready to go for you too

| • barbatos wants you to be as comfortable for this as possible

| • he'll lick away any blood from you first ,, preparing you for whatever else you wish to do with him for the day

| • you can manhandle him however you wish ,, not minding a little bit of bruising here and there

| • maybe tugging on the noose around his neck to pull him closer to you ,, forcing his head to where you want him to focus on

| • or just pulling it to move him ontop of you ,, making him do the work for this time

| • using the noose as a warning ,, or to control the pace to your liking ,, or to just bring him in for a kiss

| • if the noose isnt to your liking you could always tighten it ,, or use your own hands around his neck ,, and even then his horns are at the perfect grabbing height

| • you could easily use them to bring his head down if the noose isnt working for you ,, or switch places with you on top and him on bottom

| • using his horns for leverage ,, to keep yourself atop of him ,, maybe one hand on his horn and the other around his neck or holding the noose

| • either way ,, barbatos is used to being in a rough position and is used to the pain (from leviathan’s choking and his rose ivy) so if anything all this just excites him more

| • though the aftercare will be insane <3 after all he wants the best for you ! he’ll wash you up ,, make you more tea and cuddle you to sleep

[demilypyro]

You’ve gotten survival out of the way, and done it really well, I guess now you can focus on the little things that really matter to you?

I guess the question then becomes what even matters to me.

My gut instinct is that I want money and recognition, but when I think about it for .2 seconds it's pretty obvious that that's just me feeling the need for an income to support myself, and wanting validation because I hate myself. So that's not really what I care about so much as it's the surface level needs I feel.

I care about entertaining people, but I worry I don't have any skills that really matter or leave an impact. Let's plays and blogs are fine and dandy, and I'm happy that people enjoy my stuff, but it's kind of dime-a-dozen. I often struggle to think of it as really being meaningful when there are hundreds of others producing virtually the exact same content.

When I was a teenager I used to think I wanted to be an artist, but speaking plainly I've never really had any talent for it. Any time I try to get good at it, I get frustrated when I don't see myself improving. Then I feel like I'm wasting my time, and it's not long before I give up again. It's a skill I desire, but not one I see myself being able to reach.

I tend to hop from hobby to hobby looking for something that will be fulfilling. Something that I can make "my thing" that I'm really good at, something I can identify myself with. But nothing ever really feels right. Probably because I'm waiting for the one thing that I'll be immediately good at. But that will never happen, because that's not how skills work. I'm too impatient and too easily disappointed in myself to truly make any of these activities part of my identity.

The obvious answer is to pick a skill and really stick with it for however many years it takes to get good at it, but I'm so scared of choosing the wrong one - of wasting my time on something I have no talent for - that it keeps me from fully committing to anything. And so I remain aimless and unfulfilled.

So I don't really know what matters to me.