#because I now have a very clear picture of this story and honestly just don’t want to unnecessary extend it

[tkomptgoedluv]

watermelon.

icantbelieveiletyougetaway pt.3

pt1. here | pt.2 here | pt.3

joost klein x f! reader

tags: f! reader, non-famous! reader, reader still really needs to see a therapist, established friendship, angst angst and even more angst, did i mention angst?, tooth-rotting fluff, so fluffy it’s honestly a little cringe <3, all characters are dutch and speak in dutch but dialogue is written in english for obvious reasons.

word count: 3,494.

warnings: very brief + vague reference to SA, rpf.

notes: hello!! welcome to pt.3 <3 this is probably the part that i’m most proud of, probably because it weirdly hurt the most to write. a couple fun facts about this part: reader’s coat is heavily based on one i have in real life and absolutely adore. also, i genuinely couldn’t bring myself to touch this wip for two whole days because my personal life started to match up with this storyline and i did not like it! became a little too self-indulgent. anyways — enjoy!! lemme know what you think.

love you all lots 💋

── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ──

in a lot of ways, the whole situation was more or less your own idea of hell — ironic, considering it all started with literally the worst night of your life.

not once did you ever think that you’d be here, that this was how things were gonna go. the fun part? you don’t even know how you got here in the first place. for someone so in the middle of it all, you know surprisingly little about what actually happened, or what you must’ve done wrong.

all that you know is that it’s different now. joost is different now.

you still text everyday, a few phone calls here and there, and you’ll see him in person a few times a month or more, but you can still feel it. the subtle lack of emotion in his messages, the only-ever increasing wait times in between responses, the missing details in his stories that you’d still end up hearing from your friends. something, at some point, shifted and joost just didn’t seem to be your joost anymore.

at first, you tried to think nothing of it. you weren’t exactly a stranger to anxiety; it’s always been just a little too easy for you to get lost inside your own head. this also wasn’t the first time that you had fallen down this rabbit hole, suddenly convinced that someone you love doesn’t even like you because they said something in a slightly different tone once.

but then those weird few days where things didn’t feel quite right turned into weeks, and it just didn’t feel like nothing anymore.

you thought it could’ve been the videos because, as predicted, entire montages of the fight found their way onto each and every little corner of the internet. joost could be seen clear as day swinging for him, landing punch after punch until one of his friends would eventually step in. though somehow, the backlash against joost never came. for every clip there was a ‘story-time’ to go right along with it, and every single one explained how joost was just defending ‘this girl that had been attacked by that guy.’

so instead you exhausted yourself asking if everything was alright, just in case there was something else going on that he also hadn’t told you. but there was only so many times that you could ask the same question over and over again, only to get the same answer back.

joost was fine; great even.

so it had to be you. nothing was wrong, nothing bad had happened, it was simply just you that had repelled him all of a sudden. and that was all you could think about whilst you sat in a room surrounded by your closest friends — joost included.

it was someone’s birthday, a friend of a friend who’s name was still unknown to you and yet somehow you still ended up with an invite. aspon was on your left, deep in a conversation with stuntje about some new anime you’d never heard of, and alanis was on your right, asking to see pictures of daan’s latest art piece.

you, of course, were there in between them all, just staring into space. all of the ice in your drink had melted as it sat forgotten about in your hands, and you were fairly confident that you had memorised each and every scratch in the wooden flooring. you were yet to find a better place to look other than the floor, because of course it was joost that had to be sat opposite you.

he had pulled the short straw really, because by the time he came back in from his cigarette outside, the only seat left was one of those awful, plastic fold-up chairs. like the others he too was wrapped up in a conversation of his own, only his included a girl that you’d never seen before, and he was making her laugh a lot.

you didn’t have a single right to absolutely despise what it was that you were seeing, but still your skin felt hot and itchy, and tears burned behind your eyes. despite arriving together in your group and being seated a measly three feet away from each other, joost was yet to even glance in your direction, let alone talk to you. the blatant avoidance was unbearable; the new ‘you’ that he was talking to was even worse.

but with the anger came the shame, because really, you had no excuse to be feeling like this. two strangers with mutual friends, talking with one another at a house party of all places, wasn’t exactly incriminating. they also weren’t touching or even flirting for that matter — from what you could hear, their conversation seemed limited to small anecdotes about the people in common they both knew.

you weren’t being fair, you weren’t being reasonable; there was no excuse for the tightness in your chest.

without a word, you got up and made a dash for the balcony; desperate for a cigarette. so desperate in fact, that you didn’t stop to grab your jacket despite the rain bashing against the windows. you just needed the fresh air, needed space away from whatever the fuck was going on in there.

the small roof that the balcony upstairs provided did little to shield you from the rain. your hair quickly fell damp around the sides of your face as the wind brought goosebumps to your arms. you really should’ve stopped to grab your coat, you were soaking now.

but the pure, unbridled relief that you felt when you breathed in the smoke of your cig made it all worth it, though. it was something else to focus on, something to help soothe all of your aches and pains. best of all, it gave you a reason to be by yourself for a while — a moment alone to think, to breathe, a chance to get a fucking grip.

you took another drag of your cigarette.

“think you forgot this, schatje.”

over the sound of the heavy-falling rain and the music from inside, you hadn’t heard the balcony door slide open and shut again.

from the corner of your eye you saw joost standing there, clad in a black gilet and the same adidas track-jacket that you had bought for him two birthdays ago. your coat was in his outstretched hands; a big, red furry thing that almost swallowed you whole every time you put it on.

“yeah…thanks.”

you wanted to cry.

the silence that followed was heavy and awkward; neither of you could even look at each other as you took your jacket from him and slipped it on. whilst you focused on looking outwards towards the skyline, blinking away any tears that threatened to spill, joost busied himself with lighting up a cigarette of his own. it felt like you were standing next to a stranger, and not someone who quite literally knew every single little thing about you.

someone who always picked up the phone when you called; someone whose bed you’ve woken up naked in just a few too many times to count.

“you, uh, you doing okay?”

you almost choked on your cigarette.

he’d barely even glanced your way all night, too distracted by other female attention to really care that you were there at all, and now he wanted to know how you were doing? oh he had to be joking.

you stubbed out your cig underneath your shoe and went to storm back inside, shoving past him with your shoulder as you did so. you had almost made it too, before he caught you by the arm and gently pulled you back. it really pissed you off how hurt he looked, like this wasn’t all his fault in the first place.

“hey, can we not just talk for a minute? i wanna know what’s been up with you recently. we don’t really talk anymore.”

as hard as you could you pushed him off of you, and then you pushed him once more for good measure. you couldn’t bite it back anymore, couldn’t keep it all from spilling out when your blood was already boiling. if you were to regret it in the morning, you would just blame it on the few drinks you’ve already had.

“and why the fuck do you think that is, joost? tell me.”

a small part of you that you really couldn’t quite understand, genuinely hoped that he would push you back. that he’d get all up in your face, yelling at the top of his lungs, just as angry with you as you were with him. you wanted him to shout, to scream at you about how wrong you were; you wanted to feel crazy for even thinking that something could ever go wrong between the two of you.

you didn’t want him to just…stand there with his tail tucked between his legs, looking like he had already given up on you a long time ago. you found yourself shoving him again, only hard enough to knock him back a step or two this time.

“tell me!”

now more than ever you wished that you could stay angry, that you knew how to hold onto the outrage instead of always just breaking down into pieces. it made you feel so small the way that your voice was cracking; your shouts quickly shrinking into cries. you felt like a child again, begging to understand why everyone always left in the end.

“i just needed to work some stuff out, okay? none of this was meant to happen. i never wanted to make you cry.”

you pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes, the state of your mascara becoming an afterthought, before raking your fingers through your hair. thin strands stuck to the corners of your face and the back of your neck.

“please, tell me what i can do to make it better.”

joost was panicking now, looking a lot like an old dog that somehow knew it was about to be left behind at the shelter. you could see it in the way his hands were shaking and how he couldn’t quite seem to stand still, shifting from one leg to another.

“you can tell me what happened; what changed or what i did wrong. i don’t care.”

from the look on his face, you never would have guessed that all you’d asked him for was the truth; ‘panicked’ was no longer the right word.

“i can’t. i promise, i’ll tell you later but i can’t tell you here. not like this.”

you laughed — you couldn’t help it. three months ago, when you asked him why he was so insistent on doing anything and everything for you, he gave you the exact same line. either he forgot that he’s already used it once before, or he thought you were stupid enough to fall for it all over again; either way, you knew now that ‘later’ was never coming.

before you really knew what you were doing, you were back inside and weaving your way through the small huddles of your friends. a few stared as you began to tread water through the house, a long line of watery footprints following behind you on your way out. you muttered a quiet ‘i’ll see you guys later’ to whoever was listening and in one smooth motion, grabbed your bag from one of the tables and disappeared through the front door, slamming it behind you.

no one tried to stop you. probably for good reason, too, because you could feel the makeup running down your face.

the only good thing to come from looking so sad and drenched from the rain was that nobody on the street stopped to bother you either. not many people were out in this weather anyway, so at most you felt their eyes on you as they passed, a look of pity on their faces. pity for a girl all dressed up for a nice night out, just to be walking home early in tears.

you didn’t want their pity, you just wanted to go home. you wanted your bed and your pyjamas. you wanted a nice warm shower and to try and forget that today ever fucking happened.

you didn’t want joost to be chasing after you.

you didn’t want to hear your name being yelled from down the street by the one person you didn’t want to see right now.

“cmon you always do this! stop running away from everything.”

that was the thing to get you; the one thing that made you stop and turn on the spot.

“oh i’m the one running away? you’re the one that left!”

you met him halfway with steam coming out of your ears, your hands trembling and nose all scrunched up. you were fuming and it seemed as though he was now, too.

“i never went anywhere! you’re making it sound like i disappeared off the face of the earth or something.”

“well that’s what it felt like! what about that don’t you understand?”

you were each taking turns yelling now, oblivious to how loud you were actually being. people were sticking their heads out of their living room windows, morbidly curious about the scene that was unfolding right outside their homes. those that walked by did double-takes and even contemplated getting their phones out to record.

“but i’m here now! and i was ‘here’ back there and you just ran away like you always do!”

“did you really expect me to just stand there and listen to you lie again? all this ‘oh i’ll tell you later’ crap, it’s just bullshit. ever since that night you’ve been different and if what that guy did to me changed how you see me then maybe you’re right, maybe we should stop being whatever the fuck we are.”

joost physically recoiled at your words, his entire demeanour changing to one of hurt.

“what are you..? schatje no, no, it’s nothing like that. fuck, please tell me you don’t really think that.”

how could you not? it was the only thing left for you to think. it wasn’t like you wanted to come to that conclusion or that it was the first one you jumped to, but joost never gave you any other choice. as much as it hurt, it was better than simply not knowing.

something died in him when you nodded — you saw it in his eyes. tears of his own spilled down his cheeks as he rubbed his hands up and down his face, wiping his nose with the inside of his elbow.

“i…i would never; that guy…that wasn’t your fault.”

“then tell me the truth, joost.”

all that adrenaline, all that energy from before was long gone. you weren’t two people arguing in the rain, full of love and anger like something straight out of a romcom anymore. you were just two people standing out in the cold, soaked to the bone, just trying to hold on for a little while longer.

you were still waiting for joost to say something, trying to prepare yourself for the worst. if he was to say that same shit again, that he couldn’t tell you now but would later on, that would be it for you. you’d walk away and not turn back again, not for anything; just like that it would be game over.

but joost wasn’t saying anything, and you couldn’t decide if that was any better or not. he was silent as he took a couple steps towards you, the palms of his hands suddenly cupping either side of your jaw. the pads of his thumbs wiped away all the tears and rain from your eyes and tucked the odd strands of hair behind your ears. not once did he glance away from your gaze, not once did he say something.

it was driving you crazy.

“joost?” you were pleading with him now, desperate for him to say something — do something. the way he was looking at you, it was like you were the only thing he could see. “say something.”

“i love you.”

you blinked, and all of sudden you weren’t quite sure what to do with your hands anymore. it wasn’t the first time joost had said that to you because he says it to everyone, every single one of his friends. but he had never said it to you like that before, with a look in his eyes so heavy you feared that they might fall right out of his head.

“what?” your voice cracked as you spoke. “i don’t understand…what?”

“i love you. that’s what changed.”

a headache was coming, you could feel it. right behind your eyes, you felt a twinge, and then a subtle thumping that made your eyebrows twitch. you just couldn’t wrap your head around it, and the more you tried to make sense of it the more your head hurt.

“i swear to god if this is a fucking joke, if you’re just making this up -”

he shut you up with a kiss.

it wasn’t exactly for the first time or even close to being so, but it felt as though it could’ve been; all soft, gentle, careful. the hands that held either side of your face did so as though you could’ve cracked and shattered at any second. he moved slowly, almost hesitantly, until he felt you turn into mush beneath him. only then did he pull away, a ghost of a smile lingering on his lips.

but you couldn’t let him have it though, could you? couldn’t just let him have the upper hand, just like that. you had to chase it, had to pull him down to your height by the collar of his jacket until your lips could meet his. by the time you were finished, both shaking and breathless, there were faint smudges of red all across his mouth.

“that was so hot; do it again.”

you laughed at his words for not the first time tonight, but now it was only out of pure joy instead of anything else. you laughed because of how out of it joost looked now, his eyes glossed over and lips parted ever so slightly as he panted. you laughed because of how much you did want to do it again and how you felt giddy knowing that joost wanted you to do it again too.

so you did. only this time joost was ready and pounced on you hard enough to knock you back a couple of steps, almost making you slip on the wet pavement. his fingers lost themselves in your hair, gently tugging at the roots as yours gripped onto the nylon of his jacket for dear life, too afraid to let go and risk letting him slip away.

you would have stayed like that with him all night if it wasn’t for the wolf whistle you heard from one of the windows above, followed by the rumble of thunder. the rain was starting to fall harder now, the storm only growing and you didn’t like knowing that people were watching you now.

“we shouldn’t be doing this here — people are looking.”

with his forehead resting against yours, joost simply groaned as he struggled to catch his breath. his hands still cradled the back of your head and his eyes were still squeezed shut.

“don’t care. need you.”

he may as well have been one of the puddles at your feet, the way he couldn’t even form proper sentences anymore. the things you were doing to him right now were criminal, almost cruel, and you were loving every minute of it. proud of it, actually. you might have been mush in his hands, but he was like putty in yours.

“well…maybe you should take me home then, yeah? then you can need me as much as you like.”

joost groaned again, muttering something about how you were ‘going to be the death of him’, and leaned back in. from your nose to your cheeks, to your chin, every inch was peppered with very sweet, very wet kisses.

“have i told you much i love you yet?”

he had, at least a handful of times by now, but not nearly enough as you would’ve liked. so you shrugged, a shit-eating grin plastered across your face as you did so, and stepped back, lacing your fingers with his.

“it’s okay, you can tell me one more time.”

apparently that was way too far for you to go, because after one singular step you were tugged back again and kissed as though joost’s very life depended on it. ironic, considering you were certain that you were both about to be struck by lightning at any moment.

“i love you.”

you figured if that were to happen by some chance, it’d be worth it if it meant staying here with him for just a little while longer.

“i love you too.”

[lieutenant-amuel]

Alright, I tried to make a new plan (that I’ll mess up right after writing the first chapter but it doesn’t matter) for the next chapters to make my life easier and calculate how long it will take me to finish the fic, and there’s ~30 more chapters.

[gotskamstuff]

MY THOUGHTS (THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR AND A BIT TOO LONG) ON THE WHOLE “RUDY IS LEAVING THE SHOW/JJ IS DYING” SPECULATIONS

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who enjoys tv shows and still is very passionate about it but without entering the world of the fandom ‘cause I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that all the things I’ve come to know about the cast in past couple of years have ruined my experience with OBX a little.

Even this whole “JJ is gonna die” speculation, let’s be real it’s not the first time we have discussed this in the fandom and we basically ask ourselves this question every season and yet now it feels different.

I don’t believe speculations coming from unknown sources and I don’t believe in rumors as a solid proof… HOWEVER again I’d be lying if I said that finding out that Josh Pate (one of the main producers of the show) has abruptly unfollowed Rudy and there’s seemingly something that happened between the two, didn’t stir up the fear in me that yeah maybe he could be leaving the show. Because let’s be real, the actors having drama is one thing, but one of the producers cutting ties with you IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.

This is why it feels different this time.

I remember genuinely fearing JJ was gonna die in S2 when in the trailer they showed his head wound and I was incredibly scared about it, but it was a “devastating” fear still with a tingle of excitement about the storyline involving a possible Pogue death and with curiosity on how the story could possibly move forward…but now? Now it feels completely disappointing knowing that IF JJ dies it will be simply because he wanted to leave and honestly it would completely ruin the show for me ‘cause to put it quite frankly I would lose my trust in the story writing.

I am in no way a snowflake when it comes to characters dying in shows, sometimes I even love it ‘cause as devastating as it can be it can also be an amazing shock factor for the show but it needs to be done with purpose both for the story and for the character.

JJ dying for me would ruin the entire show and it’s not just because “omg Jiara” “omg JJ is my favorite character” “omg the show wouldn’t be the same” but because realistically it would ruin the entire arc of his character.

Regardless of who your favorite character is based on personal preferences, objectively speaking JJ is the best written character of the show and one of the characters who was given the most depth and one of the most interesting storylines, there has been a great amount of good writing when it comes to JJ’s character development and a character like him ending with death would be like throwing all that work out of the window.

I think it’s a pretty common thought amongst the fandom that JJ’s arc to end in a right way for his character would be to literally having him live his future that he so badly believed he could never have. For the whole show JJ has projected hos lack of a future and his impossibility to ever have anything good for himself, his entire story and growth was about him overcoming that and accepting he can prove everyone including himself wrong, to then end his character like “syke you actually do not get a future and you never get to live it” would completely destroy the entire arc of his character and nothing about his journey from S1 to S3 would have any meaning whatsoever looking back at it.

And I want to make it clear that IF (once again it’s still all speculations) JJ dies I still would not put ALL the blame on Rudy for leaving ‘cause actors leave shows ALL THE TIME and there’s an endless number of things you could write to take a character out of the picture especially for JJ who always had an element of unpredictability to him.

If Rudy was like “hey listen, I’m done with the show” the producers could have 100% put their foot down and still negotiate something reasonable for both parties to leave the door open on his character like “ok your choice free to go, but we are not killing the character…would you come back for the final 2 episodes of the entire show?”

And JJ could have tooooons of possible scenarios for him to leave: following his dad, breaking up with Kiara and leaving Kildare…the INSTANT they mentioned the surf trip in the show they had the perfect opportunity to use it as an excuse to make both JJ and Kiara or one of the two leave at any point to be lost somewhere in the world offscreen. So no it wouldn’t be all Rudy’s fault ‘cause there’s a lot of ways to mostly get rid of a character without killing him and closing the door for good.

This is probably gonna sound bad but I’d rather see the show end all together with S4 than seeing it getting dragged out for longer and longer meanwhile the main cast slowly leaves one by one and especially if the writing gets more and more superficial for convenience.

I HONESTLY HOPE THAT AFTER S4 ENDS WE’LL LOOK BACK AT THIS TIME WHEN WE THOUGHT RUDY WAS LEAVING THE SHOW AND LAUGH…but I don’t even know what to believe anymore. I didn’t believe it until I saw the producers cutting ties with him which realistically sounds like a “good life and goodbye”.

WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIME TO S1.

[buckleyx]

hi, babes! i was wondering if you could possibly write a Buck imagine where the reader has awful parents, and is just comforting ? sorry if not! i’m also sorry if you’ve already gotten this request, my asks don’t send a lot - 🪐

FIX THE FAMILY E.B

the gif i used is not mine! all credit goes to the owner!

Author’s note: Hiya love! Sorry it took a while but here u go :)) I hope it's a bit what you had in mind. I love soft buck :(

Evan Buckley x gender!neutral reader

Summary: Your sister started a project to 'fix the family' and you're not sure how to feel about it.

Warnings: mentions of bad parenting + bad upbringing and toxic family relationships but comforting buck <33

masterlist

"Not again." You sighed, cursing under your breath as you saw your screen lid up. A blue text message covered the happy lock screen picture of you and Buck. You didn't even have to guess to know who it was from. Your sister had been bugging you all night about a family dinner. You had already politely declined 3 times but she kept pushing. You didn't blame her, your upbringing was a complete different story then hers.

She still had contact with your parents, even visits them every few weeks and she made an unofficial promise to 'try and fix the family.' As much how you despised the idea you couldn't fully blame her for trying. She was the youngest and the most successful and very clear the favorite.

You love LA, your life is here now and you don't feel the need to fix anything. You are happy where you are. You build something here, something personal and safe and your not ready to see it all fall apart again.

"Everything alright?" Buck asked, his head peaking through the door. You sighed, gently throwing your phone on the countertop. Buck's brows knitted together as he slowly made his way over to you. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Without saying a word, you tiredly leaned your head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist, giving a soft kiss against your temple. "I don't know." You sighed. "It's my parents."

Buck knew you didn't have a fantastic relationship with them but the topic didn't come out often. Just like his parents. You had talked about your shared struggles but you both didn't like unnecessary mentioning it since it was such a heavy subject to touch for the both of you. You both just didn't wanna push anything. But when it did, when the topic came up in conversation, you both were as supportive as ever. Buck especially, you couldn't ask for anyone better in your life then him.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He comforted, brushing his fingers against your cheek. "It's fine." You brushed off. "My sister just thinks she can magically fix the family. I'm surprised they even let her try."

"Maybe they don't know."

"Yeah probably. I haven't seen them in so long. Why now? Why suddenly does she wants to change things now?"

"Have you asked her?"

"No not yet." You admitted, playing with his hair. "Last time I talked to them was Christmas eve."

Buck thought back at the memory and gave you a kind sympathetic smile as he recalled how the evening ended. It was a messy day full of nasty remarks and bitchy comments. First they didn't approve of your job, then of your boyfriend and then they felt the need to break everything else in your life apart. The list could go on forever. It was just horrible. Your brows knitted together as you tried your best to block out the memory. A sigh left buck's lips, he hated seeing you like this. He hated that he couldn't do more to help you. "They treated you afwul, y/n. It's okay not to forgive them."

"I know."

"I didn't forgive my parents." He admitted. "And I honestly don't think I ever will."

"If you want to contact them again, wait until your ready and when you truly want it for yourself. Not because someone forced you to. The same happend to me, I wasn't ready and it turned out into a big big mess." You fell quiet for a second, Buck was right but you had to take a moment to let the thoughts in your mind process everything. You went over every scenario about how that reunion could go before confirming that it wasn't time yet. You weren't ready. And that's okay. Maybe you'll never be ready and that's okay too.

You brushed away some of Buck's hair that had fallen in his face, your hand rested on his cheek before you leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. "Thank you." You said softly before giving him another kiss. The buckley gave you kind smile. "Come on. I'll make you some dinner. It It will help you clear your head."

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[s-brant]

okay for my steve girlies i’m just having some thoughts abt him as a boyfriend rn that i cannot get out of my head so you’ll have to put up with this.

as a partner i feel like he’d be the most touchy person on the face of the earth. constantly having his hands on you in a casual way whether it be holding hands, pulling you onto his lap to sit there even when there’s a spot open right next to him, standing behind you with an arm wrapped around you, playing with your hair/clothes/jewelry, and so on. he’s probably very touch-starved so i feel like he would be on you 24/7 and very shameless in terms of PDA because he’s just dying to have someone to love. robin and dustin would fake gag in the background but he could care less. also he gives me the vibes of someone who is just constantly warm. like the human incarnation of a furnace, so cozy and inviting in terms of cuddling.

boyfriend steve in season two was very cute to me (i.e: him coming to apologize with flowers even though he literally didn’t even know what he was sorry for because she was the one who hurt him, trying to cut her off when she was drinking too much/take care of her) so i can only imagine he’d be an even sweeter boyfriend in the later seasons with his character growth. i picture him being chivalrous for some reason, like always opening the car door for you, wordlessly taking off his jacket to put it over your shoulders when it’s cold and you stubbornly didn’t wear one, and not wanting you to pay for dinner even though his salary at family video is probably not that great. long story short he is a simp and very romantic. i feel like that’s just canon at this point but i digress.

anyway for the sexy stuff you’re gonna have to go under the cut

okay here we GO

i personally feel, despite my love for the kinkier fics, that steve is pretty vanilla in bed. at least, until he’s exposed to something new by a partner? like i feel that he would be open to trying certain things with you because duh you’re you and he loves you and why wouldn’t he wanna try slightly freaky shit with you, but it’s not something he just thinks up himself if that makes sense? but that doesn’t mean he can’t rock your world, let’s be 100% clear on that. this man eats pussy like it’s a five course meal and i will die on that hill. he’d get so into it, his eyes would close and he’d make soft little noises into you every time you pull on his hair UGH. you sitting on his face is probably his favorite thing you two have ever done because, honestly, suffocation between your thighs is a great way to go as far as he’s concerned.

also, it’s canon at this point that he’s hung right? did that originate from joe keery’s bulge in those tight ass vintage levi’s? probably, but it’s a steve thing now and i wholeheartedly agree with the fandom’s unanimous decision that he has unparalleled big dick energy. that being said, i also feel like he knows how to use it. a lot of well endowed guys aren’t that great because they’re like “oh i have big dick so sex with me is good already and i don’t need to do anything” but steve is a ladies man. he knows what he’s doing, and he doesn’t even need the buffer of kinks and shit to fuck you stupid. and he would be soooo cocky about it. i feel like he would be into degradation and dumbification a bit. he loves the fact that you are basically rendered useless when he’s fucking you open with his thick cock, caging you in with his arms by your head and cooing at you while the room is filled with the wet sound of him pounding into you. the filthiest he gets is whispering stuff like, “look at you. hardly even fucked you yet and you’re already a dumb little slut for me, huh?” like he can get nasty but i feel like it wouldn’t go far beyond dirty talk like that.

then there comes the hopeless romantic in him that cannot resist the opportunity to make love to you. i fully believe he is one of the people who seeks out that type of intimacy more often than the type in the paragraph above simply because he is so needy to be loved. his parents literally have never been in the show and never seem to care, he hasn’t had a steady girlfriend since nancy, and he doesn’t exactly get affection from other people in his life, so he would be absolutely insatiable with you.

his favorite kind of lovemaking is that slow, barely conscious morning sex when the two of you wake up right as the sun’s rising and he is faced with the realization of how much he loves you in those quiet moments. he’d be so sleepy, most of his weight would be let go if he’s on top of you, but you don’t even care because you’re caught on that hazy line between being asleep and awake as well, and the pleasure of him fucking you is heightened by it. it’d be full of sloppy kisses and heavy-lidded eye contact, both of your noses brushing with every deep thrust he makes into you. sometimes you’re on top though, and for those times he’ll just wrap his arms around your back to pull you down so you’re chest to chest while you do the work, albeit very lazily, and enjoy the sight of you. his favorite position for this lazy morning sex is when he’s spooning you tho. it happens the most often anyway, when he wakes up hard and naturally starts grinding into you from behind, which then escalates as normal. he’d keep a hand on your face to keep it turned for him to kiss your mouth and cheek though. just because he’s behind you doesn’t mean he won’t long to see your face and kiss you during.

i also feel like there would be a natural dominance to him that’s unrelated to any actual bdsm or dom/sub thing but rather his default disposition with you. he could definitely get down with being in a more submissive position sometimes and allow you to take care of/worship him—which would probably leave him with teary eyes by the end because of how overwhelming it is—but he gives me a lot of casually dominant energy. he loves sneaking into your bedroom in the middle of the night and fucking you with a hand over your mouth right across the hall from where your parents are sleeping, whispering to you that you have to be quiet and good. he also loves manhandling you, it turns him on unlike anything else to just toss you down on his bed and rip your clothes off because he can hardly wait to be inside of you. it’s also little sfw things like knowing what you like from your favorite take out place so he just orders for you or stopping to tie your shoe when it comes undone because he just loves taking care of his girl in the most innocent ways as well as a sexually.

he has a breeding kink by the way. it’s not something he acknowledges as a kink officially or even fully realizes, but considering that the man wants six children in canon, i feel like the idea of getting you pregnant, or even just coming inside of you whether or not you’re on a contraceptive, definitely gets him going. and if you are pregnant eventually once/if you two decide it’s what you want, forget about it. my god, he would be on you all the time. he’d love having you ride him with your breasts bouncing and a bit fuller from the hormones, your belly protruding with a bump as an undeniable piece of evidence that you’re his. it just checks all the boxes for him. i also believe that his chivalrous behavior would increase tenfold when you’re pregnant. in the later months, you physically cannot tie your shoes so he is right there to help you. he’s always extending his hand to hold while you walk, walking with his body closest to the street and yours closer to where it’s safer, and in general being even more of a simp than usual. if you thought he was a gentleman before, when he knows his baby is inside of you, he’s literally trying to do anything and everything he can for you.

now don’t even get me started on him as a dad. this has gone on long enough.

[ilikekidsshows]

@aaghht honestly, after seeing more of the show and now the Paris special, my opinion abt Chloe's writing writing has turned from "the writers hate her specifically bc they're out of ideas" into "did Astruc make her based off some1 he hated irl?" cuz it's very ridiculous how s1-3 gave us a different picture of her than we got later. Thomas saw how the fans thought she should grow into redemption as a char,and very strongly disagreed.

Astruc's inability to take criticism is a part of a bigger issue he has as a creator where he is unable to deal with fans interpreting his work differently from what he intended. If his seasons 4-5 treatment of Chloé is backlash at people who saw her as redeemable, it does raise the question why he's so vested in the interpretation that Chloé specifically is irredeemable when the likes of Gabriel and Félix (people whose evil schemes have actually succeeded) got to go scot free. Does he just hate mean teenage girls that much?

I’ve seen this "Chloé is a stand-in for someone Astruc used to know" theory around, and it would explain why he gets so emotional about Chloé online and why he insists a character he created is irredeemable instead of just saying he wrote her to be irredeemable, acting like she has some kind of agency when he's the one who made her and has the power to put her on any character development path he chooses.

My only criticism of this idea is this: I don’t think Astruc is that subtle. I don’t think he’d have the self-control to hold himself back for three seasons and a special when it comes to having a fictional manifestation of his hatred he could do anything with, even though he's made some comments about there being more corporate control over the story during seasons 1-3. Like, the instant they decided to make Adrien a Sentimonster Gabriel started twirling his ring like it was a merry-go-round and he was working at an amusement park. This is why I also don’t believe SentiAdrien was a thing before season 4, and why I call season 4 a retooling. Astruc seems to have very little subtlety as a creator, we can see what he thinks in what he writes, and season 4 marks a clear difference in how he writes Adrien and Chloé specifically.

Astruc is incredibly invested in Marinette's character. She's his baby OC, she was the first idea he created for the Miraculous concept and he worked on the idea for years before a company decided to catch his pitch. Chloé was created as a nemesis to Marinette, a character he calls his imaginary daughter. Does Astruc want the audience to hate Chloé because she's mean to his "daughter" or because she's some spectre of a past school bully he never got over? Considering only school bullying is treated with proper gravitas on the show, while terrorism, domestic abuse and slavery are just everyday stuff everybody is cool with, it could very well be the latter. But if that's the case, seasons' 1-3 production must have really stifled what he wanted to do with her character originally.

[kats-fic-recs]

My favorite Kuroken fics <3

In Another Castle

Kenma feels his face go hot. People have to be looking at them. They’re having a fight in front of a real estate agency. But he doesn’t look away, and musters the courage to say, “Kuro, I want you to live with me.”

The Whole Of The Moon

Tetsurou has never thought about it before, but right now, he is absolutely and thoroughly terrified.

Because he’s so, so in love, and he’s always known that Kenma is it for him, but what if he’s not it for Kenma?

Or: a Kuroken soulmate AU in which both of them suffer and there's communication in all the wrong ways

Not For Nothing

Kuroo-san never says no to you,” Shouyou says

Not Your Mother's Hot Toddy

Kuroo always knew he would eventually end up killing someone for Kozume Kenma, he just thought he would have a lot more time to prepare.

Or: Kenma's hungry, Kuroo's bad at thinking on his feet, and Shouyo just wants to make friends in the city.

Live From the Lonely Hearts Club♡

(Kodzuken lets out a sigh that cuts so deep, it nearly startles his cat off his lap.)

I think I’m being obvious. I probably don’t need to spell it out for you guys. It’s clear as day, isn’t it? I’m fucking in love with my best friend. And I have been for a very long time.

So it pains me to say that I think I’ve made the stupidest mistake of my entire life. Because a week ago, T asked me if I wanted him to be my fake boyfriend.

(Kodzuken drags his hands over his face.)

And I’m pretty sure I said yes.

*

Kenma is so stupid. When did he become so stupid? He’d always thought he was kind of smart, but maybe he’s been stupid this entire time.

five snapped heartstrings

“From the day you are born, you have a countless number of strings wrapped around the ring finger on your right hand. These strings extend out to all of your potential soulmates. As you grow and make choices in life, one by one the strings will slowly begin to fall away until you’re left with one. At that point, your one true soulmate will be waiting for you on the other side.”

-

Kenma was seven, and he was certain of one thing. He wanted Kuroo Tetsurou to be his soulmate.

it's like a summer shower

Kenma’s breath catches at the memory, and then he’s blurting out, “Do you still have it?”

“Have what?”

“…the recipe,” Kenma replies haltingly. A pause. “And maybe some pictures for how it looked all set up.”

“Kenma…” his mother says breathlessly, and he’s honestly not sure if she sounds awed or horrified. “Are you going to attempt to make it?”

-

It's Kuroo's and Kenma's anniversary and Kenma wants to do something different - cook him dinner. He regrets the decision pretty much immediately.

crushed little stars

When Kenma was 13, he swore to himself that he would never, ever get star tear disease.

Three years later, he met Hinata Shouyou.

A purrfect match

"Hi Uncle Tettsun!” Nozomi says without moving an inch. “There's a kitty cat under here."

Tetsurou sighs, adjusting the heavy bag on his shoulder. There's been a dramatic increase in the number of cats hiding under homes or dumpsters or in trees lately, ever since the Kozume family's latest announcement. People have been chasing them down, knowing that whoever takes the key from the royal cat's collar will be allowed to marry the crown prince.

[Five times Tetsurou meets a cat, and one time he meets a human instead].

The Space Between Thinking and Feeling

“She might have assumed that we were dating and I might not have corrected her, yes.”

Kenma’s eyes are caught in a frenzy. Tetsurou isn’t sure why he’s that upset about this specific part of the story. “Why?” Is all Kenma asks.

Tetsurou shrugs. “I don’t know. She invited you to the wedding. I want you to come. It just seemed easy.”

“Dating me seems easy?”

“Pretend dating.”

(OR Tetsurou doesn’t want to go to his mother’s wedding alone. Good thing he has fake-boyfriend Kenma to tag along.)

Wallpaper Heart

Tetsurou walks into their apartment, aware of his feelings for the first time. It’s a weird sensation, like remodeling a house, and finding out there was a hidden door to an extra room behind the old yellowed wallpaper in the hallway. Now that he knows it’s there, he wonders how he ever missed it – wonders when the wallpaper went up in the first place, when it started keeping him out.

(OR Tetsurou's adventures in pining)

even if you're ahead for a bit, i will catch up

Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around.

The Ghost Of The Future Is Awake In The Attic

Sika stags have a whole repertoire of courting behaviour that does not overlap with a human’s flirting one bit.

This, perhaps, should not come as a surprise to Tetsurou.

Or: The one where Kenma is a sika deer shifter, Kuroo isn’t, and Kuroo decides the logical thing to do is to court Kenma. The deer way. Despite the fact that he has no idea how deer shifter courting works.

When the Stars Threw Down Their Spears

"It’s hard to understand the hierarchy when a school like Nekoma exists, putting them all together like they belong, but by the time Kenma enters high school he understands the difference. Kuroo is a black panther, rare and precious; a large predator stronger than most any other foe.

Kenma is a calico housecat. His coloring is uncommon, but he is not special."

Shapeshifter!AU. Kenma struggles with a culture and the rules of courtship.

Ad Astra Per Aspera

The important parts of his life aren’t stored in the cement where he bled out, or among the familiar backdrops of his hometown. Home is curled up on a secondhand couch a few cities away, probably bitterly cursing his guts but still waiting for him to walk through the door.

The city has long since forgotten what happened to Kuroo Tetsurou.

…But Kenma didn’t. Kenma never would.

Kenma’s soul recognizes Kuroo Tetusrou even when his eye does not.

He’s been waiting an eternity for him, after all.

route 51 to your heart has been delayed by 20 minutes

The hottest man Kenma has ever seen shares the bus with him regularly. Under no circumstance is he ever going to do anything about it.

Not intentionally, at least.

Speak Easy, Lie Gently

Kenma’s invited back home to celebrate Christmas. Unbeknownst to him, his parents had invited a guest: his ex-boyfriend.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Can someone explain to me like I’m 5 the whole DM thing? From what I’m gathering… As mom was caught liking bad comments about Nic and DeuxMoi posted that gossip. So to get her to hide that post As people struck up a deal with DM. So now A and DM are in a contract. So DM will post As social media and pap pics of her and L which is why she got the premiere night pictures. And now they are going after Nic also on As payrolls. Essentially making Luke look bad for the benefit of A. Is that true?

They posted a reel- which can still be seen, in their reel section, that basically had photos of A from her IG and said that this was L’s rumoured gf.. that she had been posting arms/leg (go watch if you can be bothered. Terrible “journalism”- doesn’t add anything to what we already knew)

There were comments- a lot of negativity about her age. Some that leant into the narrative that if N wanted L she could get him, some that spoke about how they were both so different. Basically the mum liked a comment that spoke about how A was old enough to make decisions and another that also stated that A and N were very different. I don’t remember the details of the comments- they weren’t explicitly body shaming N but you could infer what was being insinuated

She may have liked more, not sure. I didn’t follow and she caught on to the fact that people realised it was her.

After that the reel was hidden.

We don’t know who was responsible for the pap walk.. don’t think that A has a “team” behind just an agency that would recommend gigs/host her profile.

I honestly don’t believe that it is A herself that is in a deal, but I think L & A organised the exclusive for DM and people as a way to get her to hide her real from the main page (she never does it). They may have been planning something all along, because why DM only posted that original real then, who knows.. a bit suspicious. Everyone will believe what they want to believe with this- we will never know the truth or the real reasons, it is all just confusing.

If you read the comments on the pap gate stuff you can see that everyone calls out DM and she gets defensive.

N I don’t think is linked at all to this- She is just a hot commodity. The airport photo could have been from months ago, we don’t know. The claddagh ring bit was also just looking for a way to get engagement because she knows people want to hear about N. The probably with that “story” was that it was that fans knew the reasons behind the ring, and so DM didn’t pursue it further. She also spoke of EF and clearly didn’t do research as she identified him as Irish.. when she was the original source of the rumours of NC & EF months ago. So you can see she was just grabbing at straws with trying to include N, as L/A clearly didn’t get her what she wanted.

It is clear from the Friday post that it was more opportunistic (and potentially personal) because she clearly posted it in real time (which she never does) and also posted details which she shouldn’t have posted. Fans were quick to call her out- both about the privacy issue but also about the fact that she couldn’t identify who N was with, when he is well-known, but somehow knew who A was…..

It is also clear that unfortunately some GA fans are feeding DM information about N. You can see from the comments that her fan fans are protective, and hopefully the GA catches on and doesn’t bring more attention to N.

thank you for summarizing everything 💜

i've talked some of these things to death

[devilzukin7-johnny-cage]

Just my opinion about MK1 about what is happening or idk

Disclaimer: I love the series and have been a fan since childhood, so this is just a personal opinion and is not hate at all. My husband lives on this game so I will never hate it XD

From the MK era, NRS has practically shown us a multiverse. Okay, I’m not in love with the idea, but I know they can do cool and interesting things with it.

Honestly, I thought that from here, NRS would explore completely different realities with Mortal Kombat, something much more engaging. But I feel like we’ve just seen more of the same with minor changes that are either insignificant or even negative, making some characters less impactful. It seems like characters don’t get the respect or importance they deserve unless they’re protagonists, and the villains now lack that imposing, threatening presence they used to have. (Examples: Reiko, Shao Kahn, Goro, etc.)

As for the Cage situation, it seemed like Cassie Cage and Sonya were going to return for KP3. And to be clear, I love Sonya, but I still don’t understand why, if they have the opportunity to explore a completely different reality in this new timeline, they would bring back the CageBlade couple. It didn’t work, neither in nor out of the story (although it used to work very well when it was platonic). In fact, talking about story, it’s confusing that Liu Kang would want to pair Johnny and Sonya together again in his timeline, knowing the tragic fate Sonya had in the previous timeline and that Cassie was practically raised by her father alone (context: MKX comics).

Anyway, KP3 was canceled, so none of this really matters now, but still...

Not to mention the skins. Some are amazing, but overall, it feels like all the characters have the same style of outfits. On top of that, many details overshadow the designs, making the cameos look better than the main roster. (This is not about covered or not covered outfits btw, just thinking that kameo designs look better than roster designs because these are more simple and comfortable to look at).

I don’t know. I watch endings and other MK content from the Midway era, and it felt more exciting. Ships existed, yes, but MK was more focused on the main story. Every character was respectable, imposing, and interesting. That has been lost for a large part of the roster. I’m not saying this out of hate—I love the franchise—but this current backlash it’s facing isn’t happening for no reason.

Random pictures of MKSM with no reason hehe

[lightofraye]

for someone who "loves and cares about Jensen" you sure seem to be pretty resolved to believe he is a shitty person.

a douchebag who lies about loving his spouse, a deadbeat father who doesn't give a shit about leaving his kids with an abusive woman, as long as he gets to be far away from her and keep his reputation intact.

a fucking asshole who would leave his fiance at the altar instead of talking about it like a freaking adult before things go too far.

i just don't get it! how can you stan a man that you think is a liar and a backstabber?

you think so low of him, despite of all the testimonies of people who actually know him, who agree that he's a humble guy with both feet on earth, a sweet and kind man who genuinely cares about other people.

but you rather believe he's a piece of garbage who doesn't care about his own children.

just admit you don't really like him and move on.

God, anon, you’re like a dog with a bone. Yeah, I got your asks—twice. You realize you are not entitled to my answer, right? No more than you are entitled to the anonymity of the asks (which I graciously allowed on for now).

But very well. Let’s talk, shall we? I really hope you’re ready for the answers. Because you won’t like them, I guarantee it.

First, I have never said he’s a “shitty person”. You did though! Way to infer the worst from what I written.

I never called him a “douchebag”. You did. I never called him a “deadbeat”. You did. Let’s get that clear right now. You are the one calling him this. Not me.

Yes, he is in fact lying about the stories with his wife. I do think he did care about Danneel at one point, but that affection vanished real fast when her true character came out. He’s staying with her for the kids; I imagine if he divorced her, people would call him a shitty person for ruining a marriage, etc. He wouldn’t be able to win with you all. Not one bit.

He isn’t leaving the kids alone with her though. There’s the housekeeper, gardener, more than likely one or two nannies (because Danneel has never parented alone, ever!). They’re safe as any child can be with that many adults. (And if they’re decent people, if Danneel actually harmed them, NDA or no NDA, they had better speak up!)

I never said he should’ve left Danneel at the alter with no explanation. The hell? Way to infer the worse without any reading comprehension. I did say he had cold feet and thought about not going through with it until his groomsman and his father talked him into it. (In the case of his father, essentially forced him to go through with it.)

I don’t think he’s a liar. I do believe he backstabbed Jared in regards to The Winchesters and am very disappointed in him over it. But that isn’t going to end my support for him.

As for his lying… I actually understand it. I don’t agree with it, but I do understand it. He believes that having a “wholesome family man image” is good for him in Hollywood. Some would agree—were he actually consistent and legitimate with it. He doesn’t even need to do a ton of outings with Danneel; just grab the kids and go to a local theme park. The local family park, for that matter. Hire a photographer to do candids, not posed pictures. Tell genuine stories at conventions, as the gaping holes in them are large enough to drive a semi through it.

As for having to constantly lie about Danneel… do you honestly think his stans would be okay with him calling a “bitch” and “awful wife”? I mean… really? No matter what, he’d be in a no-win situation there.

I don’t think low of him. You inferred that, once again. Instead of making it about Danneel—which every single damned post of mine has been about—you are making it about me and how you perceived/interpreted my writing to be.

In regards to the situation of his children, he’s actually in a rock and a hard place. If you think it’s that easy for a victim of abuse to divorce their abuser when children are involved, you are ridiculously ignorant and need to educate yourself. The worst time in an abuse situation is when the victim tries to leave—the risk of death jumps to 70%. If children are involved, murder-suicides can happen.

So sit the fuck down, quit misinterpreting what I’m saying, and stop thinking you are in any shape or form entitled to my answers.

[rainmustfallts4]

The Cherry Tree (Short Story)

Date: January 5th, 2020

Genre: Friendship, Fluff

Word/Picture Count: 1,747 words/14 pictures

‧̍��·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ☔ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ 🍂 ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

Addi smiled brightly as she stepped into Magnolia Blossom park, her eyes scanning the nature around her. Although the pond and the river, and the various flora and fauna were quite nice to look at, she had something else that, in her opinion, was ten times more beautiful; a cherry tree, in full bloom at the beginning of summer.

No matter what emotion she was feeling, she felt happy sitting under the cherry tree. Sometimes, she wondered if its roots were filled with magic.

She paused when she noticed a boy around her age standing beneath the tree, his head tilted back as he looked up at the pink petals. Her head tilted to the side, curiously. Addi had never seen this boy before, not even at school.

Putting on a friendly smile, she approached the boy. “Hey, there!”

He turned to look at her, his expression staying neutral. He didn’t reply.

Her smile didn’t waver. In fact, it grew when she noticed the shirt he was wearing. “You like Deadpool? Me too! He’s the best anti-hero. Although he’s cool in the comics, he’s way cooler in the live-action version.”

He quirked a brow. “You really like him? I’ve never met anyone else that does… Most people say he’s annoying and prefer the heroes.”

Addi scoffed, waving her hand to express her displeasure. “They say that because they can’t understand the genius that is Deadpool. I mean, sure, heroes go around saving people and obeying the laws, whatever. But anti-heroes also save people but they do it in a cooler way! Think about it, how many heroes have put the law above saving people? That’s not how a hero should be. Saving people should come first, ya know? Otherwise, you’re basically just a beefed-up cop.”

His lips twitched up as she ranted on about her beliefs when it comes to heroes and anti-heroes. He had never met anyone, let alone a girl, that had such passion for the same thing he enjoyed so deeply. He thrust his hand out at her, making her pause. “My name is Adrian Webber. I just moved here from Brindleton Bay.”

Her eyes lit up with excitement as he shared the small detail with her. Her hand slid into his, enthusiastically shaking it up and down. “Addisyn Sanders, but you can call me Addi! Welcome to Willow Creek.”

“You know, I was worried about moving. It’s kinda hard to be the new kid in the middle of senior year, ya know?” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “It might just be a bit more bearable now…”

Addi laughed, slapping his arm. “You say that now, but I get annoying real fast, ya know?”

Adrian hummed, thoughtfully. “Guess we’ll see, hmm?”

After standing around and debating heroes versus villains for about fifteen minutes, the two teenagers decided to head over and have a seat at the picnic tables to continue their conversation.

“Personally, I don’t think the Joker is actually mentally unstable,” Adrian commented. “I believe he knows exactly what he’s doing and he just wants people to think he’s unstable.”

“Maybe,” she tapped her chin. “But he’s not very relevant anymore. Harley Quinn is the queen of the villains, now!”

He chuckled. “So you’re a Harley fan, then?”

“Totally! After seeing her in Suicide Squad, you’d have to be insane not to love her.”

“Hey, Addi!” Cassandra Goth, Addi’s best friend, approached the two of them, plopping down across from them at the table. “Who’s your friend?”

Addi didn’t miss the way Cass’ eyebrows wiggled as she eyed Adrian. It was clear on her face that she found him attractive and, honestly, Addi couldn’t blame her. He was a teen after her own heart.

“This is Adrian, he just moved here.” Addi introduced. “And this is Cassandra, but everyone calls her Cass. She’s in our year.”

“And Addi’s best friend,” Cass added with a wink. “Nice to meet you, Adrian.”

His smile dropped, but it was so minuscule that neither girl noticed. “Hello,”

“What were you guys talking about, hmm?” Cass raised a brow, pushing up her glasses.

“Superheroes and villains!” Addi grinned, making the ravenette roll her eyes.

“Not that stuff again,” she frowned at her friend before turning to the male. “Sorry about her, she’s totally obsessed with that stuff and once she gets going, it’s like stopping a bullet train.”

Adrian’s lips formed a straight line as his brow furrowed. “Actually, I enjoy it, too.”

“Good, she can gush to you instead of me.” Cass joked, making Addi stick her tongue out at her.

He checked his watch before clearing his throat and standing up. “I’ve got to get home. See you at school?” His eyes met Addi’s and she smiled brightly.

“Of course! See ya~”

After he was a safe distance away, Cass sent her a knowing look.

“What?”

“You totally have a crush on him,” she smirked.

“I do not,” Addi scowled. “We just have a lot in common, is all…”

“Sure, sure~” Cass stood up, brushing off the seat of her skirt. “I gotta get going, too. Bye, Addi.”

“Bye!”

Addi returned home in high spirits, but it wouldn’t last long. Her dad hopped up from the couch when she entered, quickly flicking off the TV. She instantly recognized the nervous look on his face and she felt her heart pick up speed.

“Honey, I need to tell you something.”

Addi frowned. He only called her honey when he was about to say something he knew she wouldn’t like. “What is it?”

“You know I had a meeting with my boss the other night, right?”

She nodded.

“Well… I got a promotion!”

“Dad, that’s awesome!” She threw her arms around him. “You’re one step closer to your dream~”

“Yeah,” he breathed, holding her tightly within his arms. “There’s a catch, though…”

Addi pulled back with a furrowed brow. “And that is?”

“We’re moving to San Myshuno…” He paused a moment for her reaction, but she just stared at him blankly. “Surprise?”

She forced a smile, “That’s great. When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow… you’re not upset?”

“Nah, it’ll be fun! Oh, I should call Cass.” She turned away from him so he wouldn’t see her frown. Her father had been working so hard his entire life to reach his dreams and he had sacrificed so much to keep her happy and provide for her. What right did she have to deny him after everything he’s done? It sucked, but it was the cards she was dealt.

She dialed Cass’s number before pressing the phone to her ear, releasing the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “Hey, Cass? I, uhh… I need to tell you something.”

🌸 The 🌸 Cherry 🌸 Tree 🌸

A year had passed since Addi and her dad moved away from Willow Creek and, now that she’s an adult, she has flown from the nest and returned to her childhood home. Naturally, the first place she decided to visit was the park.

Her lips slid upward on their own accord as she breathed in the warm summer air, watching two birds fly from tree to tree as they chased one another. She felt warm and happy being back in her hometown.

To be honest, she wasn’t really expecting to find Adrian under the cherry tree as he had been upon their first meeting, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little hopeful.

Although she missed many things after moving, one thing that often came to her mind was Adrian. Every time the topic of heroes was brought up, his face would flash in her mind and her heart would skip within her ribcage. She didn’t understand it.

They had known each other for only an hour or two, and yet she spent the better part of the year thinking about him, wondering where he was or how he was doing. Did he hate her for disappearing? Had Cass told him about the move? She said she had, but Addi still had to wonder.

She assumed that he probably had a girlfriend by now and was on the path to follow his own dreams. The thought upset her and she didn’t understand why he had such a hold over her.

“What are you doing?”

She looked up at the man staring down at her, a brow raised in question. “Huh, isn’t it obvious? I’m cherry blossom gazing!”

“You’re… what?”

“Ya know, cloud gazing but instead of gazing at clouds, I’m gazing at the beautiful cherry blossoms!”

He hummed thoughtfully. “You must really like cherry trees,”

“I love them!” She grinned before letting it soften to a smile. “Plus… I met someone special here when I was younger.”

“Special?”

“Well, special to me, anyway.” She chuckled, sheepishly scratching her cheek. “I wonder how he’s doing…”

“Addi.”

“I bet he has a girlfriend, too. I mean, he’s gorgeous, how can he not?”

“Addi…”

“Did he move back to Brindleton Bay? He wanted to be a teacher… I wonder if he’s in college.”

“Addisyn.”

“What?” She shot up, staring at him suspiciously. “How do you know my name?”

He quirked a brow. “Have I changed that much?”

“I… what?” Addi hopped to her feet, moving her face close to his as she squinted her eyes, trying to recall who this man was. “No way… Adrian?!”

He nodded.

“Oh my grim, this has got to be some kind of fate or something!”

“Fate? I don’t know about that…”

“It definitely is! I mean, honestly, what are the chances that we’d meet under a cherry tree as teenagers and then again exactly a year later?!”

“I’d save about fourteen percent,”

“It was rhetorical!”

His lips twitched up. “You’re as excitable as ever. I’m glad,”

She grinned, rubbing the back of her head. “Once a goofball, always a goofball!”

“Do you mind if I join your, uhh… cherry blossom gazing?”

“Of course I don’t mind,” With a smile, Addi plopped back onto the grass, with Adrian slowly lying down beside her.

“To answer your questions,” he started softly. “I’m doing well. I don’t have a girlfriend. I stayed in Willow Creek. Yes, I want to be a teacher and no, I’m not in college. I’m working at Rainy Day Entertainment.”

She couldn’t stop the smile spreading across her face. “I’ve missed you,”

Adrian hesitated for a moment before gently grasping her hand in his, their fingers lacing together. “I’ve missed you, too.”

[bunnidid-reviews]

I got the second Elle(s) book today and ofc read it soon as I could

Some thoughts:

- this book focuses more heavily on the inner world exploration, and I found the art to be even more dynamic and lovely in this one

- Blue takes over the host position from the previous book, because of the loss of her aunt and shocking revelation that Elle was adopted as a baby. The whole book is about rose Elle finding her way out of the inner world and back to taking control of her life

- we get a little bit more development on the other parts of Elle, since Rose interacts with them as she’s going through each of the inner worlds. But there’s not a lot there, if I’m honest? They all act like strangers that happen to be dragged into the story rather than parts of your very self who’ve always had a sense of being at least connected to you in some way. Especially since its implied that Elle has ‘had problems with this before’, and she purposefully made these inner worlds for each of them, we as the reader are left confused to how much they actually know eachother.. theres just not much there

- and as for Blue, the one part who’s been looming over both this book and the last, we don’t know much about her either, aside from being manipulative and stealing money and clout off her friends. If she’s supposed to be a persecutor part, she has no obvious drive outside just ~being evil~. (To quote my very own blue-colored persecutory part; “What a lazy bitch”)

- this.. ending..?

(The text reads: Wow! Embryos merged? So that means.. I really am six different people! )

Maybe it’s a problem with translation, but the tone of this picture and text really cuts off any of the built up tension thats been riding throughout the book.

- this book never explicitly mentions DID as being a diagnosis, so it’s more of a concept of multiple personalities being used in a different way…

I’m not someone who’s going to speak on what makes ‘enough’ trauma to create DID, because birth complications and adoption are traumatic, and it’s also not something I have experience with. I can’t speak on how this would feel for people who had twins and lost them for it to be portrayed this way, though. In the book, this is clearly stated to be some sort of Special Unreal Circumstance and I found that.. in weird taste..

-it’s not.. DID. I thought the adventuring through the inner worlds would be more about making honest connections and getting to know these parts of her more fully, but Elle’s journey was really just about pulling herself up by the boot straps and switching back out. She doesn’t really have trauma and this book makes it super clear

-I’m disappointed that there wasnt much time spent with brunette Elle because she really seemed to be grieving honestly in the last book, I thought theyd be helping eachother more. But its.. not reallyyy and its shown as growth anyway

-I like the series but I can’t really take it very seriously. It has the vibes of seeing all the major plot points of someone’s OC stuff without all the extra content that fleshes out the characters.

———

I might just be in a mood because I feel very out of place with my own DID at the moment(I’m usually fairly comfortable, but I think I might be having a DPDR episode), but I’ve been sitting on the Elle(s) series for a good few months now, and I don’t really get any deeper connection

I’ll get the next book anyway and see if any of it ties up more neatly. I know its the artists’ first comic I believe, so maybe theres not so much depth becauseeee offff inexperience. Or translation issues because I believe it came out elsewhere first. I dont know!

O well, enjoy my short review

[scarebats]

WIP Wednesday

Pierce My Heart - slicemav

this one has no warnings and isn’t as exciting as the last one, sorry about that (but it’s longer!)

Standing before Ron now, is his customer. Someone who he thinks would look amazing with a tongue piercing, might he add.

He lets himself drag his eyes over the form of the stranger. He’s not very tall, shorter than himself and Tom, atleast. Straight cut jeans that are loose around his shins and calfs work their way up his legs and hug his thighs, Ron hopes that he can catch a glimpse of his ass at some point. Just to see how tight the denim really gets, of course.

His observation is cut short when Tom clears his throat and looks at him expectantly with wide eyes.

“Ron, this is Peter,” Tom introduces the man.

“I prefer Pete, if you don’t mind. Or Mav works, too,” Pete informs them while a bright grin appears on his face that reaches his green eyes.

“Mav? That doesn’t sound like Peter,” Ron asks while gesturing for Pete to sit on the chair.

Pete complies and answers. “Mav is short for Maverick. My friend and I are ex-Navy. His call sign is Goose, and I still call him that. So does his wife.” Tom makes his leave after Pete finishes his ramble, exiting with a warning look that Ron will most certainly tease him for later. Alas, he needs to properly meet this beauty first.

“Huh. Maverick. That sounds like people didn’t necessarily enjoy working with you.” Ron pauses. “No offense intended,” he finishes.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Pete glances down at his name tag. “Ron. I get it all the time. Mostly from Goose and Carole, actually. But I’m pretty sure that they like me.”

Ron nods along as Pete sends himself into another talking fit.

“I mean, I would hope that they can at least tolerate me, because I've known them for, what, like, eight years? I think? Well, I met Goose back in ‘82, and it’s ‘91… No, I’ve known him for nine years.” Honestly, Ron isn’t really listening, just admiring Pete. He talks so animatedly, gesturing his hands for emphasis, eyes wide and sparkling like a cartoon. Ron could watch him talk for hours, that being, he’s this ecstatic when story-telling.

“Then Carole, a little less than nine, I met her after our first deployment. Right at the end of ‘82, in November. And then little Bradley was born in June of ‘84! Can you believe that he’s already seven?” Ron has absolutely no idea who Bradley is.

“I have a picture of him in my wallet, want to see?” Pete barely takes any time to take a breath between sentences before he has his attention on Ron, a grin adorning his beautiful face that’s somehow even brighter and wider than before.

“Sure.”

Pete immediately reaches for his wallet in his front right pocket at the confirmation. Ron thinks it’s quite cute, how excited he is just to show him a picture of his friends’ kid.

(i should probably finish this soon cuz it’s the second time it’s been voted. i hope y’all liked this longer snippet!)

[tameila]

if the story's over, why am i still writing pages.... i am 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Ah, this is an AU that is very near and dear to my heart. It's a high school Pikelan AU based off of this prompt that I answered.

The main premise is that, at the end of junior year, right before summer break, Scanlan wrote a letter of confession to Pike. She did not have the time before he left all summer to answer him, but, honestly? She doesn't know if she would have had an answer even if she'd had all the time in the world.

Now, it's senior year, and Pike is taking a creative writing elective...inspired by a certain letter, mayhaps? and Scanlan is in her class. She keeps trying to confess to him via poem. Scanlan keeps thinking that she's asking him to proofread up until he wrongly assumes that she's writing them for someone else.

It's a whole thing.

Can she properly convey her feelings before high school is over? If she confesses, will it even matter as her and all her friends drift in different directions? Why does anything have to change? Pike doesn't want anything to change.

....It is absolutely on the same level of TSAR in the sense that I'm like,"hehe teehee here's a cute lil teenaged romp" and then once I've lulled you into a false sense of security...WA-BAM!!! The grief of growing up, of "leaving" childhood behind, of loving people so much that you may inevitably lose to distance and time. It won't be your fault. It won't be theirs. That's just life. Why does anything have to change? How do you hold on when there's no way to stop it?

As I mentioned, it's a WIP that I cradle very fondly and that I have mostly plotted out in bullet points.

Here's some scenes:

SCENE FIVE (Homecoming week, mid-October)

In middle school, the girls always went as a group to dances. Then, freshman year, Vex started dating and, since then, has never gone to a dance without a date. Pike would have been happy to just go with Keyleth as a dynamic duo, but Vax asked her. As friends. Though there was a whole drama when apparently he hadn’t wanted to go as friends and Keyleth started dating Kash two weeks after Homecoming. But - That’s a whole other thing. With Vex and Keyleth all dated up, Pike agreed to go as friends with Scanlan when he asked.

Some details about her ridiculous hair she got done and the dress she bought

A sense of childhood being “lost”/”left behind” as they ditched the sleepover and girl’s day that Homecoming used to be

Since then, she’s always gone to any dance with Scanlan as friends. It’s an unspoken agreement. Grog tagging along with them if he’s not currently hooking up with someone.

Pike figured this year would be no different.

A naive thought, in retrospect.

In years before, he’s always asked. Even though they're only going as friends, Scanlan loves the theatrics and planning of The Asking. Still, it's an unspoken thing. Pike assumes he’s just been busy.

The girls went dress shopping over the weekend and Pike sends a picture of her dress to Scanlan. He answers in his usual poetic manner. Pike replies back something about what color bowtie/tie she thinks would look best and Scanlan comes back with: “Oh. We’re going together?”

It’s a whole back and forth.

“You don’t want to go?” “I think there’s somebody else you need to ask.” He sends a few more encouraging texts. Pike throws her phone aside, curls up in bed, and has a good ol’ fashion cry about it. Boys are dumb.

[POEM FIFTEEN]

SCENE SIX (night of Homecoming)

Pike does not ask anyone, and no one asks her. An unsurprising fact. Despite the fact that Scanlan and her have always made it clear that they’re only friends, the rumor mill will say what it pleases. She’s lost out on a couple dates because of it. Like, when she had a crush on that girl in her sophomore year, the one with the colored skinny jeans and colored highlights, who later admitted (long after Pike’s crush had gone) that she’d wanted to ask Pike to the dance but thought she was with Scanlan.

She almost doesn’t want to go anymore, figures she can save the dress for something else, but! Scanlan says he’ll be going, so she goes.

She dresses up, meeting with Keyleth and Vex at Vex’s house. She poses for pictures, alone. Stands awkwardly to the side of her friends as they dance with their dates. She constantly checks her phone. Eventually, she ends up on a stone bench at the front of the school, calling him.

Scanlan says that his mom wasn’t feeling well. He stayed home to take care of her and didn’t think anyone would miss him.

“I always miss you, Scanlan.”

A long, emotionally charged pause.

She says she’ll walk over. Scanlan says he’ll come get her. Pike sneaks out some food and gets into the car when Scanlan rolls up

Pike brushes his hair away from his eyes, taking in his haggard appearance. She asks him if he wants to go get some Dairy Queen sundaes - her treat. Scanlan shakes his head. His mom still needs him back at home. She understands.

Scanlan goes to pull away from the curb but stops one last time to tell her how beautiful she looks. Another pause. Pike almost begs him to just DRIVE, but after another second with no answer, he does on his own.

SCENE EIGHT (Friday before Scanlan’s show?, sleepover)

Keyleth’s house. A bit about Keyleth’s house and living situation.

Some dumb sleepover shenanigans

But also getting real talk. Talking about college. Percy’s guaranteed some full ride to somewhere and a spot in his family’s company. Vex plans to go there too. She dreams about leaving her father’s house and the big fluffy dog she’s gonna adopt when she does.

Keyleth remarks that her and Kash are breaking up. Probably. Differing priorities. She’s not sad, really.

Pike thinks about Scanlan. Even if she tells him how she feels, would they endure? It feels like everything’s moving and changing and they’re all gonna forget about each other.

As they lay there in the dark, quietening, Pike shudders a sob

Keyleth and Vex propose a cuddle pile

Pike doesn’t want them to move on

[blooming-violets]

okay, Marauders fan

Mm nope. Spider-Man fan. Andrew Garfield fan. Supernatural (not the show, the creatures) AU fan. I love werewolves, vampires, witches, ghosts, horror tragic drama romancey shit. I used to love Harry Potter when I was a kid/teenager (I’m in my 30s now) but never got into the fanfic fandom side. I had no idea the Marauders were even a thing besides being Harry’s dad in the books until I joined the AG Spidey fandom two years ago and saw he was a fan cast fav. Think I’ve read exactly one Remus Lupin fanfic since resparking my love for Spidey and it didn’t do anything for me because my hyperfixation is with tasm Peter Parker and not Lupin. I love writing for characters Andrew has actually played with movies I can actually watch for inspiration and not things a bunch of strangers decided to use his face for.

So, no. Not a marauders fan. Not a Harry Potter fan. Loved it when I was kid but it no longer does anything for me apart from make me pissed off and angry. I’m going to state this right now to make sure we are very clear on this subject: I fucking hate JKR. She is a horrific disgusting woman. I do not support her or her vile beliefs. I love and actively support the transgender community and I always will.

Me writing a werewolf story that is using PETER PARKER as the au and using SPIDERMAN characters and SPIDERMAN lore throughout does not equate to me writing a fucking Harry Potter story and I am honestly insulted for being told otherwise. Nothing in my story has the slightest god damn thing to do with or relates to HP and is full of Spider-Man characters and Peter Parker lore and my own take on a werewolf origin story with my own created world around it. Had you actually read it and not just glanced at the picture and assumed that anything Andrew Garfield next to a werewolf must mean Harry Potter fan than maybe you would see otherwise. If it was literally any other actors face there, in any other fandom doing a werewolf au, you would not give a shit. Andrew Garfield was not even in Harry Potter. He has literally nothing to do it. He was in Spider-Man and he did play Peter Parker who is the exact person in writing an au for.

I have wrote multiple aus in the Peter Parker fandom. Last year I wrote a Peter vampire au. Does that mean I’m out to suck Stephanie Meyer or Anne Rices dicks? No. I wrote a Peter serial killer au. Does that mean I want to suck Ted Bundy’s dick? No. Writing a werewolf au is literally no different. I write AUs. It’s what I like to do. Werewolf is just another typical, very popular au throughout fandoms for me to tick off the list. Try actually looking at someone’s work before making judgement calls based off AGs face next to wolf.

Don’t ever call me a Harry Potter fan. It’s 9am and I’m pissed off. Have a good day, dammit!

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 3 - Last Exit by Max Gladstone

Okay, book review number 3! This was a denser read than the last few books I’ve gone through – I think it literally had more words per page than standard? Or maybe just a heavier writing style.

Now to be clear this isn’t any sort of complaint – I absolutely adored this book (So, thanks a million to @booksandchainmail and @circletofcircles for pointing me towards it!). Feels like I was leaving a bookmark every few pages because there was a passage that really jumped out at me I wanted to save. I had to just start tearing up whatever receipts I had handy every bookmarks at a certain point. Between this and This Is How You Lose The Time War, I absolutely need to hunt down some more of Gladstone’s stuff (I say, as if I don’t already have Empress of Forever out form the library and sitting on my dresser).

So, the story doesn’t make any direct reference to Lovecraft – and it is otherwise not shy at all about making direct references. There are like a half-dozen places where I could just tell what book/article/discourse Gladstone had on his mind as he wrote it, even leaving aside the e.g. place literally named Elsinore – but it honestly did a better job of being an anti-cosmic horror story than a lot of the stuff that says on its face it’s About Deconstructing Lovecraft does, at least imo?

The alien is terrible, and terrifying. It’s vaster than you can imagine, and it will destroy everything about the life you know. It whispers to the desperate and forgotten, speaks and promises to those who’d cast aside the world for something, anything, else. Fighting it is miserable, and bloody, and leaves you ruined in body and soul. But saving the world requires sacrifice, requires hard lines and desperate measures.

But, well, have you taken a look at the world recently? How sure are you it’s better than what lies beyond it? How much killing are you willing to do, off that surety?

And the book is excellent is getting that sense of desperation, of sunk costs and impending doom and making it feel like the only real choices are finding a bit of happiness for you and yours and shutting out the bigger picture, or making yourself a sin eater shoring up a rotting foundation. Also just generally, at giving a sense of poverty and desperation and impending collapse.

I’d say the resolution and epilogue feel a little saccharine, but that really very much the point – cast aside the gods we’ve made to rule over us, and the world really will be as good and kind as you’ve never dared to dream it might be. It’s a very anarchist story, that way.

The villain’s really fascinating, honestly. Like, in a certain very pat sense, it’s the embodiment of settler colonialism – a cowboy in a white hat who is watching you through every NSA back door in every phone camera – but it’s a bit more fundamental than that. (Also, weirdly not that racist or homophobic, given that)

I mean in one sense, like, the Cowboy’s whole thesis is that the world is basically awful, and anything good for anyone comes only at a cost to someone else, and that if you want a comfortable life for you and yours, you better have some men with guns willing to keep the people your comfort is taken from from tearing it back with interest. All of his associations are with civilization – roads, cities, cameras, guns, hierarchy writ large – are you get the sense that all the specific referents are about Manifest Destiny, the core is very, well, we’ve all read Against the Grain, right? The passages about how the first city walls were probably built to keep people in as much as out seem relevant, especially.

Or – there was a Tides of History episode a few weeks back about the Assyrian Empire, and how according to royal theology Ashur the god WAS Ashur the City, and the spread of the empire was the ordering of the world according to Ashur’s laws was in a sense the spread of Ashur himself. That feels like a comparison the book would have drawn, if the subject had come up.

But I’m rambling and only barely coherently, so will stop myself there – book’s not perfect, by any means, have some nitpicks with the plot, the direct references to contemporary politics get a bit didactic feeling and tired when you’re getting them with the same perspective from four/five POVs, the finale kind of descends into melodrama – but really lovely book, would recommend.

(also – it’s not really relevant to anything, but between this and Ninth House what the fuck is up with Yale? )