#because I need my little hater space

[taxkha]

I just deactivated my art twitter acc and Im sad about this platform going to shit because Ive been posting art on there since 2013??? even though my art twit was only 2 1/2 years old but its a weird feeling. Bsky has been going pretty well for me though so I will get over it but still. Fuck the e-rat for ruining this platform. Also follow me on bsky @ taxkha

[johanthefriskiestofbits]

oooooo please tell me (who knows nothing on the subject) about orv swap au

hehehe. hehehehehehe. hehehehehehehhehehehhheheheh <- guy who is so normal

the premise of orv swap au (name has yet to be finalized) is this: what if kdj and yjh swapped narrative positions (reader <-> character) but very little else? what if a video game player enters a time loop to save his favorite character from dying over and over again and also to end the apocalypse?

admittedly it's not super fleshed out yet (a lot of the changes this premise would introduce are still not hammered out yet) but here are some points under the cut (novel spoilers ahead!)

orv swap au starts with pro gamer yjh who feels :/ abt his job, but hey, it pays the bills. despite (or maybe because of) his relative popularity as a pro gamer and networking with the agency/sponsors/people to impress, he's kind of isolated in a way that's detrimental, a facade of someone he's not whenever he's on camera

something to play around with is the idea of agency? maybe this yjh doesn't feel like he has any and has his hands tied between the lifestyle and being under public scrutiny and not having enough of a support system to leave everything behind. maybe he doesn't know what else he would even do. maybe he's aimless and drifting with nothing to hold on to.

his favorite video game is what i've been thinking of as World's Hardest To Play Indie Game (not based on difficulty but just on the experience of consuming it) a boring, exposition heavy, player-hostile, poorly designed, slightly buggy mess of a barely-playable game: twsa, a game that was not finished upon release and experiences with sporadic updates every now and then.

the ending tree to this game is so convoluted its insane. also theres no save states so if you die (very likely) u restart babeyyy.

twsa (video game) does have multiple endings, all of which happen when kdj, your main character, dies. some are farther into the apocolypse than others, some paths require meta knowledge of future events or character actions or items or whatever. the "true ending" is either analogous to the original 1863: kdj makes it to the end at the cost of everyone he loves, or hsy's modified 1863: kdj makes himself enemy of the scenario to secure a way out for the kimcom remnants.

there's branches on the choices tree where everyone dies and everything sucks and is bad forever and theres choices to make where kdj gets to make a family and they don't really get to settle down but they can get pretty close to it among the ruins of the apocalypse. through all his testing, yjh finds that these endings are nice but peter out - to get to the end of the apocalypse yjh has to claw his way there inch by painful inch, through betrayal and sacrifice, and he still cant fully get past it

i originally wanted to finagle a yoohankim 3 way swap but i couldn't figure it out. swap aus are a lot easier to work with when they're even numbers, at least to me, so this au features a ysa who is a video game company employee by day and by night she really has become god this time (and also a terrible indie dev). and this is how jungdoksang can still win !!!!

also yjh's coworker from Real Life hsy :) i haven't decided if she's like an employee for the same agency, or if she's someone else in the gaming circles that yjh interacts with sometimes (in my heart theyre in like some sort of discord server together), or something like that but she's around. whatever she does she is twitter cancelled for something. to me.

the only other character swaps are lsk and yma. yma is yjh's estranged sister (in broad strokes there's a vague bad parent situation going on here) (they used to be close until they drifted apart and slowly started hating each other [there is an abyss between them that neither of them can bridge]) (he feels that she betrayed him and threw him under the bus so he left [maybe he gets kicked out]) (she feels that he abandoned her to whatever situation they have going on [he didn't even try to take her with him]) and he has to find her when the apocalypse starts. yjh older sibling to yma gives us a whole different little dynamic to explore from kdj ysk (there's different levels of responsibility and guilt and blame when you're talking siblings that are soooooo interesting to me. sorry that i see any set of siblings and immediately try to figure out how to make them worse)

lsk is kdj's mom who appeared into existence at some point with kdj and they were both just adults. that's weird isn't it. oh well. i guess she can become a transcendent later too for funsies

everyone else stays in the same configuration of Real Person vs Character to me this is a very important aspect

this point has no precedent with the swap, nothing particular that would change to cause this, but it would be so funny if lgy was a little gamer boy who is an avid yjh hater. hates that guy. shows up to competitions to boo him. tunes into yjh's silent no-mic speedrunning streams to mald in chat but yjh +mods don't ban him bc its kinda funny.

anyways the apocalypse starts when yjh and his coworker/fellow gamer hsy are on a train to twitchcon and lgy is also there (also headed to twitchcon) and he brings bugs because he likes them but also to sabotage yjh specifically. its just funny if this happened. you understand

instead of having reader-related skills and abilities, yjh's skills are video game player based! he gets flavor text insight on people, location, and items, things like that. notably, he has the ability to reset, to bring himself back to the beginning of the apocalypse

orv swap proper follows yjh as the Player of the Game (Consumer of the Narrative) who lives hundred of lifetimes in this ruined-world-become-reality "replaying" [read: time looping through] the game to reshape it to save his fave character from self implosion (kdj with no dissociation is very prone to dying. all the time.). to revisit the idea of playing with yjh and the idea of agency, of creation, the only way to get past the apocalypse is to go off the beaten path, to choose options that weren't even there in the game. when in space, at his darkest point, yjh becomes a writer. in this story, at his darkest point, he has to become a creator too

please do not ask me how the epilogues go i dont know how the epilogues go (i don't want to throw yjh back into a train for milennia after he Just went through a thousand resets so i'm sending kdj for that but i havent fully planned how or why)

anyways, hope that helps!!! :)

[stellardeer]

Is it wrong to be a Taylor Swift hater?

Like... is it low-key leftover internalized misogyny?

Or does her music just suck?

[abslghost]

i don't think dni s are stupid I just think they could be used wirh a little more thought ... people generally don't think before they interact so relying on a feature that they can only access by doing more steps than the typical required for a silly like on a post is a little ... eh... my real advice if you want to avoid X group of people/Y topic is just blocking people and muting words

[awearywritersworld]

tell me you don't want me

gojo satoru x reader summary: gojo adds falling in love with his dead best friend's little sister to the list of things that keep him up at night w/c: 1.8k tags/warnings: angst to fluff. gojo takes care of reader when they have a migraine. they watch shark week together, so shark haters beware. arguing, but nothing super harsh. protective!gojo. reader is referred to as a sister but there are no pronouns. gojo is around 27, reader 23. curse words. no out right smut, but a heavily suggestive ending so lets say 18+ a/n: i've been writing purely fluff for gojo, so it seems about time to return to my angst/fluff roots. today's epi made me had me feeling some type of way. may write a part two to this? idk lemme know what you think! masterlist check out my latest work for gojo here

after you arrived at jujutsu high as a first year, everyone wore the same expression when they looked at you, their eyes full of pity and apprehension. you really couldn't blame them though. after what happened with suguru, you were left a shell of yourself, paranoid that you were destined to the same fate as your older brother.

however, the boy that suguru called his best friend held something different in his gaze whenever his eyes fell on you. understanding, maybe? gojo knew that if there was anyone in the world who missed suguru as much as he did, it had to be you.

for most of the year, the two of you really only talked in passing, dancing around a discussion neither of you were brave enough to initiate. then your brother's birthday rolled around and you found yourself drenched in rain, sneaking into the boys' dormitory to knock on gojo satoru's door.

he wasn't surprised to find you standing there.

"that idiot always refused to let me celebrate his birthday," you blurted out, damp hair sticking to your forehead.

he laughed. it was just a breath, but it was still genuine. "right? he couldn't stand being fussed over for one day."

and as you both stood there, rain pattering against the window, you felt months of unspoken tension melt away. "well, come in. i bought cake."

after that day, gojo took on the roll of your older brother and he really leaned into it. flicking your forehead to annoy you, threatening anyone he thought had a crush on you, giving you advice whenever he deemed you needed it.

you weren't sure if he was aware, even after all these years, that he'd saved you— pulled you away from the brink. you became like the little sister he never had, while he tried his best to fill the hole suguru had left in your heart.

gojo spends more time in your apartment than his own, so it's no surprise when he barges in one afternoon, singing out your name (rather terribly, one might add).

"i have a migraine, 'toru," you groan from the couch, pulling the blanket up over your head as the bright light from behind his figure worsens your discomfort. all of your blinds are shut, the curtains pulled together. "can you please close the door?"

he hums, stepping inside and pulling the door shut quietly. "you seem to be getting them a lot lately."

"probably because i spend so much time with you," you whine facetiously.

he gasps, hand clutching at his heart. "i come all the way here to visit you, only to be ridiculed. my devastation is untellable."

after grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet, he pads over to the kitchen sink. you peer at him from under the blanket as he runs it under cold water, noting how the veins in his forearms become more prominent once he wrings it out.

you're laying across the entirety of the couch, but you scoot away from the edge and he situates himself in the space beside your hip, his body facing you. the corner of his mouth is turned down, evidence of the worry swirling in his chest. he presses the back of his fingers to your forehead before folding the cloth neatly and laying it there.

"you should mention the migraines to shoko," he suggests earnestly.

"they just flare up sometimes, you know that. it's really not a big deal."

"yeah, maybe.. but i still worry about you."

you can't help but notice how close he is and while it feels casual, it also feels... intimate? the cold cloth does bring some relief to your head, though you'd have preferred it if his hand had remained there instead.

"have you eaten?" he questions after a moment, pulling you from your thoughts.

"not yet."

"then i'll go pick up some food," he offers, rising to his feet. "do you need anything else-"

"no," you say a little too quickly, your fingers wrapping around his wrist. "i mean.. can you just stay?"

he suddenly looks very smug. "oh, what's this? are you sure spending more time with me won't make your head feel worse?"

you attempt to roll your eyes but the movement sends a sharp pain through your skull, causing you to grumble. "don't make me hurt you satoru. i was joking."

"i know," he smirks, decently self satisfied. "but you do have to eat, so-"

"there's leftover egg drop in the fridge, can you just warm that up for me please?"

"'course! anything for you, (y/n)-chan!"

his tone makes it sound as if he's teasing you, but he knows it's the truth. he's painfully aware that there isn't a thing you could ask of him that he'd deny. he tries not to think about that though, because he can't bring himself to admit what it all means.

once your soup is ready, he joins you on the couch. you move to sit up and while that makes plenty of room for him, he still lifts your legs, sitting so that they lay across his lap. one of his hands is resting on your shin, the other on your knee.

"shark week?" he suggests as you reach for the remote.

you nod eagerly. "yes."

the two of you have never fought before.

well, maybe that's not entirely true. it isn't uncommon for the both of you to argue over video games, the latest chapter of a manga, or other things of that nature. but you and gojo have never had a genuine disagreement.

that is, until you mention wanting to challenge a decision made by the higher ups. he's well aware of how they deal with people they deem troublesome, so he can't help the vexation that bubbles up in his chest at your words.

"absolutely not," he tells you. his voice is low, not one hint of amusement to be found.

the tone leaves you narrowing your eyes, and you sound a bit misbelieving when you ask, "what do you mean 'absolutely not'?"

after everything that happened with geto, the higher ups have been wary of you. honestly, they're probably just looking for an excuse to pull another stunt like the detention center and he can't risk that. he can't risk losing you.

rather than express any part of that sentiment, however, he just goes all stone faced and vague. it's weird, so naturally it's followed by a bit of back and forth that goes nowhere, the conversation growing unreasonably volatile with each passing second.

why can't you just listen to him? why can't you give him the benefit of the doubt? he's earned that by now, hasn't he?

"i don't understand!" you hiss, your chest heaving with indignation. "why are you acting like this?"

because i love you. because i need you. because you mean more to me than everything else in this world put together.

he can't possibly say that though.. can't lay his shame bare for you to see.. can't bring himself to admit the feelings he has for you.

he's in love with dead best friend's little sister and it's wrong. it keeps him up at night. claws away at his self respect.

"i'll take care of it," he promises, sounding a bit defeated. "just please stay out of it."

"quit treating me like i'm a child, satoru. you're not my father."

your assertion makes the air in the room shift, and the feeling that forms in the pit of gojo's stomach is not unlike a cord being pulled too taut before snapping.

"so what am i then, huh? what am i to you?" he interrogates, taking a step toward you.

his eyes burn with intensity and the conviction in his voice is dizzying, especially since it's meant only for you. he immediately notices the way you stiffen, suddenly unable to meet his eye.

he swallows thickly, any restraint he has left ebbing away once he hears your small, nervous voice. "'toru, w... what do you-"

you're cut off when he takes another step in your direction, your back meeting with the wall after you attempt to maintain the space between the both of you.

one of his palms presses to the wall beside your head, though the other remains at his side. he doesn't want to trap you there, not when he still doesn't have a clear idea of how you're feeling.

his breath fans across your face, your mind struggling to process what was happening. you whisper his name, unsure of how else to respond.

"i want you." he nearly chokes on the words, the pain of admitting them evident in his voice. "want you more than anything."

and he does. he wants you more than the sleep he never gets. more than he wants to honor suguru. more than he wants to be a good man.

his head dips down, your breath catching in your throat when his lips find the spot on your jaw just below your ear.

"please, tell me to stop," he begs, sending a shiver down your spine.

your hands move to his chest, the rise and fall of it uneven and sporadic. god, you make him so fucking weak it's almost pathetic.

his lips shift to your cheek, closer to your mouth, and his hand reaches up to cradle the other side of your face. he sounds irrevocably desperate now, "tell me you don't want me."

your heart's beating so loudly in your ear drums, you can hardly hear yourself speak. "satoru, please."

"please what?" he asks, and for a moment you're unsure of the answer.

you try to open your mouth once more, but the words are lodged in your throat. confusion and frustration rattle around in your head, making it difficult to string together your thoughts. finally you just give in, grabbing his face between your hands and pulling his lips against your own.

he let's out a strangled noise, some unknowable mix of pleasure and relief. his hands land on your hips at once, greedily pulling your body against his own.

his lips are chapped, but they're perfect in the way they move against yours. the kiss isn't clumsy, nor is it unsure. it's ardent and comfortable, as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

you pull away first, each of you holding the other's gaze. you're both hazy eyed, your mouths curved into giddy, lovesick grins.

gojo doesn't hesitate when you glance down at his lips, your words easing that bitter self loathing he'd been enduring for longer than he cares to admit. "if you want me... then make me yours."

taglist: @torusmochi @moonmalice

[bunnwich]

It's Supposed to Be Fun

(a letter to my friends in the twst fandom)

I've been wanting to make this post for a while and these thoughts may seem scattered but I’m gonna try to express them. 

Lately, I have seen many friends and moots that either are leaving the fandom or feel guilty over not having posted in a while or losing interest in twst. On the other side, I also have friends being harassed.

This a reminder to remember why you joined this community to begin with. I know that keeping up with the fast-moving pace of fandom and comparing ourselves to others, can skew our perspective on these things.

It’s supposed to be fun. 

Why do we post art or write? Sure, partly for recognition, there's no denying that. But, why do we create, I mean really? For enjoyment. Not for others, not to be “popular” FOR JOY.

So, whether you’re dealing with people critiquing you or feeling guilty about not creating. My question is this: Why waste so much of your time on something that makes you miserable?

Did it stop being fun? Why? Haters? Loss of interest?

To my friends who feel guilty for not creating and not sure if they lost interest in twst: 

Don’t feel guilty. At one time, the creation of your twst content was natural. It's what you did for fun with friends or for yourself. Revisit that mindset and think - if creating twst content now will bring that same joy it did before.

If the answer is no, then maybe it’s time to pivot. It’s okay for interests to fade. It doesn’t mean that time, memories, or the friends you made are lost. Connect with your friends, we will understand! We still love you! It's not a race there's no time limit, just pick up were you want to. Draw fanart of old events or OCs.

To my friends who have been harassed: 

I say this with sincerity…. People who harass others over fictional characters are fucking losers.

Like… There’s no other eloquent way to encapsulate it. I’m starting to not care for the reason anymore - If you harass or be shady to others over a ship or fictional character. CONGRATS! YOU ARE A LOSER.

We all join fandoms as a hobby, for fun. We’re all just kids in the sandbox playing pretend again… and if you are the type of person to go up just to “kick the doll out of someone’s hand" or make commentary on how “their way of playing is wrong." You’re a loser. I have a life outside of twst, we all do. Someone saying my ship is wrong or cringe is just so laughable to me. We have to make fun of these people more for being so goddamn lame.

Imagine being so unhappy that when you see someone having fun you HAVE to comment on it. By all means, if it gets you through the day...talk shit to close friends or even post about it on your own blog. (THAT WAS ALWAYS ALLOWED.) Don't bother creators directly. Don't be a loser. I sure see tolerance leave people’s bodies when they see a fandom opinion they don't like. (And this is coming from someone who has lots of opinions on these things! But that's why I always put the disclaimers that, hey this is just MY opinion.)

Discussion is one thing, unhelpful comments are another. We shouldn’t give these people the time of day. Curate your online space. Yes, when you post things online you are subjecting yourself to scrutiny. But, we as creators need to stop letting these people have power over us. Period. We do this for free!! FOR FUN. The best thing you can do is create shamelessly.

Delete weird replies, block whoever you need to do to rid yourself of these people who have nothing better to do. Keep your peace. It’s supposed to be for fun. You don’t owe anyone a response.

The twst fandom is like a little family to me and I guess I feel protective over the people in it?  I have made many friends and memories because I joined it. And even dispite a handful of the negative experiences (AKA: A couple of “losers" that I’ve had to deal with.) I’ll always look fondly back on this time.

The key for me has always been to just…create for myself. I originally made bunnwich for me and one friend to make fun little arts about our Yuu’s and now I get to have lots of friends to share it with! I’ve transitioned from an OC blog to probably more of an Oc x Canon blog…but I don’t care tbh. I just…draw what I feel like. I know there are people who probably dislike me for that or feel strange about my content and that’s fine. I’m still gonna keep drawing it, loser.  

And I just want you guys to do the same, twst or not.

I can’t forget that all my followers and friends are a bonus, if I had never joined tumblr I’d still be drawing the silly shit I draw in peace. And while yes, I do want to grow as an artist and sell more merch and keep growing... I can’t forget my initial excitement for this silly little game. I like to talk about it. I like to write about it. It inspires me.

It’s supposed to be fun. Please remember that. I know it can be discouraging to have others being shitty to you. Or going through a creative drought. But, try not to let this stop you from creating what you love.

[vacantwatchers]

Platonic Stobin discuss Steve's relationship with Nancy. It's kind of critical on Nancy bc I'm biased (and a hater). Read it on Ao3 here.

“Explain to me why Henderson thinks you’re into Nancy again.”

“Fuck knows, Rob. I haven’t seen her around, let alone spoken to her since all that shit at the mall.” He didn’t really like the way she’d frowned at Robin when they’d met up, definitely hadn’t liked the antagonistic tone she used when she’d asked who Robin was.

Steve felt Robin sigh before the gentle weight of her head rested atop his. “The little gremlin cornered me at lunch and demanded to know why we weren’t dating–”

“I’m out of your league,” Steve muttered to her right hand as he slowly coated her index in the dark red polish.

“Keep believing that, Popeye. He asked me if I thought you were repugnant or something and that's why I wouldn't give you the time of day.”

Steve paused to swipe away polish with his nail. “What does repugnant mean?”

Robin hummed, a little delay as she tried to find a definition for him. Steve can imagine her flicking through a little rolodex that’s full of what Robin considers Steve approved explanations.

In the space of his waiting, he’d managed to finish the first coat on her right hand and gently lifted her hand up, smiling to himself at the way Robin moved from his hand to his shoulder.

(It took three weeks of working in Family Video, working back to back shifts so dead they made the burnt shell of Starcourt look lively for Robin to come in one day with a bulging pencil case and the demand that “if you’re just going to sit there, at least paint my nails, dingus.” It took three attempts with Robin smudging her nails with her flailing before they established that when he finished a hand, he would lift it, and she would rest it on his shoulder.)

“Repugnant is like when something is really distasteful, unacceptable.”

“Tammy Thompson’s muppet singing is repugnant.”

Robin snorted into his hair. “Perfect use of repugnant, Steve. It’s also a word you can use similar to revolting, repulsive, disgusting and offensive.”

Pulling her left hand closer to his right side so he could see what he was doing, Steve hummed. “Okay. So Dustin thinks you think I’m revolting, repulsive, disgusting, and offensive?”

“Yeah, Steve, I told him I just couldn’t date such a disgusting man who spends twenty minutes on his hair after a shower and ignores me every time I tell him he needs to go to an optometrist because the way he can’t see makes me sad. No. I said that while I am happy to spend my life with you as my soulmate, we are strictly platonic.”

Sliding the brush back into the bottle, Steve gently swiped his nail down the side of Robin’s thumb. “That absolutely didn’t shut him up. Give them a minute before I do the next coat.”

Robin nodded her understanding, which made him nod. “No, me saying that didn’t stop him. Me asking if the reason he was so interested in your love life was because he was the one with the crush on you, however, did.”

“Ew, Robin, he’s like my brother.”

“That is exactly what he said, just with a lot more volume and yelling.”

Steve leaned further into the weight of Robin at his back, taking a moment to absorb the fact that she lets him take whatever touch he needs without freaking out the same way she does whenever someone else tries to touch her in the slightest. Uses the pause to organise his thoughts out of the jumbled train they come at him in. “I’m not sure when, uh. When we dated, I’m not sure it was love.”

“Okay.” Robin’s hum tingled through his diaphragm. “Talk it through, you were convinced last year you’d loved her. Don’t even try to think it out for me like you do, just say it all.”

“The ol’ Robin treatment, huh?”

“I hate that that is what you call it, but yes. Please proceed.”

“We dated, and I tried to be there for her, right? Like I had to go to these absolutely depressing dinners with Barb’s family every fucking week, because Nancy thought it was the right thing to do and I had to pretend to eat the food, and I tried to give her space when it felt like she was pulling away. I’d take her out to get her away from thinking about it all because I could see that she was struggling and thought maybe doing normal shit teenagers did would help. Would sit with her and listen when she needed me to, or just be with her when she needed silence. I’d ask about how she slept, and if she was still having nightmares, I would reach out and just try and hold her hand or hug her.

“But, I don't know. I’ve been thinking back on it, and Nancy never really did the same shit back, y’know. She would have these moods where she’d just be so angry. Angry at herself, the situation. Me. And I get it, it was fucked up and we couldn’t tell anyone without the threat of being taken away. But she’d go on and on about how we killed Barb and it was our fault and then it would turn into how it was my fault she was dead. And then so often she would say this line and at first I was like, she’s saying it in this fond way so she doesn’t mean it, but she said it so oft–”

“What would she say?”

Steve tilted his head back so he could look up at Robin. “What?”

“Nancy. What would she say?”

“Oh.” Steve looked back down, fiddling with the nail polish bottle. “She’d say ‘you’re an idiot, Steve Harrington’ and she’d make these comments, and I don’t even know if she was aware of it. Like she’d call me dumb and say don’t be stupid, or imply that I wouldn’t be able to do something or understand because I wouldn't get it.

“And when she went over my work she’d say it never made sense, and like, her tone, her tone always said it because I wasn’t smart enough. Like, she’d read over things and point and make comments, and honestly, it was more confusing than anything because the points made sense to me, but apparently not to her–”

Robin made her little grunting sound. She did it every time she needed to interject something. “Yeah but that's like, your mind's process. You do it when you talk too, that structuring thing you do where you make these links to things, and it all somehow flows. My mom said you might have something called dyslexia or dysgraphia. One of those two.”

Steve looked up at Robin, eyebrows scrunching up. “You talk to your mom about me? When did she even have time to figure that out?”

“I talk about you to her all the time because we both love you. And she noticed when you were helping me with my English homework.”

Huh. “Okay then.”

“Keep going with what you were saying, sailorman.”

Seven months, and she still hasn't given up on the nautical nicknames. Jesus.

“After early admissions for colleges had closed, Henderson actually found the essay I wrote, and he said it was good. That the parallels were there and with only a little tweaking it would have been great, and when I mentioned what Nancy said he kind of paused before reading it again and said he didn’t see what she was talking about. He even had his mom read it because for a while, she was admin for a college, and she said it would have gotten me in. After Christmas, I asked Nancy if she wanted to go with me to tour some colleges once and she looked at me when I dropped some of the names and said, ‘Do you think they’ll believe you’d fit in there?'"

“Jesus Christ,” Robin muttered.

“It just, it built up and I think at the time I was blind to it because I was trying to lose myself in the relationship, in being there for her.”

“What about you?” Robin’s hand slid down from its perch on his shoulder to his chest so she could pull him closer. “Was she there for you? Like, you told me that since ‘83 you can’t eat meat because of the smell of burning demogorgon put you off, and that having to lure the demodogs with meat was really triggering. And I know you have trouble sleeping and you have those awful nightmares that make it so that sometimes you can’t eat.

“Which, can I just say, is really concerning because you already have this habit of forgetting to eat even when you’ve brought lunch. And I know it’s probably something to do with the way you get stuck into stock or shelving, but I hate it when you get into that groove. But I’ve also figured out that you will eat anything I hand to you, as long as I’ve taken a bite first, so it’s not that bad.”

Needing to move a little, Steve tightened the nail polish and started shaking the bottle.

“Oh, uh. Those dinners with Barb’s family, it was always KFC, that’s why I never ate anything there. She’d actually get annoyed because she thought it was disrespectful? That I only ate the bread and chips? And after that first night where Barb died, Nancy never came over to my house again because she said it had too many bad memories and it made her uncomfortable to be there. So she never really saw the nightmares. When she wanted to see me, she would have me come over and she’d push me on the bed and then when she was done she’d tell me it was getting late, and kind of push me towards her window to go.”

“Steve– that doesn't sound healthy at all.”

"Yeah."

Lifting the nail polish bottle, Robin took it as the signal it was and dropped her hand in his again.

“I think, even when I was dating her, she talked more to Jonathan than me.”

“That’s fucked up, Steve.”

“I think that’s just trauma, Bobby. We weren’t good together. I don’t know. Whatever Dustin is seeing between us is completely in his head. Especially considering the money moves I'm making with Operation Metalhead.”

“You need to stop saying money moves. All you've done is wave at him and blush when he loaned you a Megadeth tape.”

Gently guiding her hand back into his best field of vision, Steve started in on the second coat. “I don't know, sounds pretty money to me.”

Steve felt Robin inhale for a deep sigh, her warmth increasing against his back for a moment before she exhaled. "I think Eddie might have actually graduated before Operation Metalhead gets anywhere close to being a success."

[onlyangel4]

forget about the party. ln4. smau.

lando norris x reader

request: Hi for the song request can i request “forget about the party” by majid jordan with either lando or charles (whoever you see fit) maybe a scared of love reader + driver that doesnt have the best relationship history but him and reader are like perfect for each other, THANK YOU!!!

in which reader has only ever been hurt by men and lando has an awful heartbreaking track record but they just work.

faceclaim: maisie peters

y/ninsta

liked by taylorswift, landonorris, gracieabrams and 1,231,001

y/ninsta: i can't believe i am writing this rn but i am on this month's cover of rolling stone magazine. as a little girl this was my biggest dream. guess now i have to dream bigger

view all 34,581 comments

landonorris: so proud of you my love

y/ninsta: couldn't have done it without your support

user1: leave mother alone she does not need you to break her heart

taylorswift: so proud of you angel

y/ninsta: thank you tay !!

user2: the preview on the rolling stone website says that she will be talking about her relationship history. i hope she finally addresses the hate she gets for her relationship with lando because honestly i love them

landonorris posted a story

written: my girl is on the cover of rolling stone and i could not be prouder ! she had the courage to speak out about the hate that we have been getting surrounding our relationship and i couldn't have worded it better myself. get the issue now.

y/nlandofan

liked by y/ninsta, landonorris, user5 and 56,991 others

tagged y/ninsta and landonorris

y/nlandofan: to celebrate THAT interview let's look back at my fav y/nlando moments.

1- the video that y/n hardlaunched their relationship with. y/n and lando dancing in y/n's kitchen to blank space by taylor swift. really giving their all.

2- the peace + quiet hat that lando got made for y/n for before her shows so that people know to give her peace and quiet so she can get in the zone.

3- y/n's birthday gift from last month. winnie norris y/ln their first child

4- that time lando and y/n facetimed right before the australian gp when she was about to perform in singapore

5- the podcast they filmed which is just too yappers yapping

6- my personal favourite, the merch that lando designed for y/n's most recent tour

view all 329 comments

y/ninsta: i actually started crying seeing all our moments posted all together i love you thank you for supporting our silly little relationship

y/nlandofan: oh my god ! i can't believe you have seen this i love you so so so much!

user5: how could anyone ever hate them

user6: i'm so glad she put the haters in their place

[seattlesellie]

Abby with a gf who sleeps with plushies hcs? I can see her giving them death stares and shit talking them when gf isn't looking lol

omg i love this one so much! i had to sneak an nsfw one…

also i for some reason see ellie being more of a plushie hater and she was kind of on my mind so i hope this didnt come off as ellie coded rather than abby coded but i tried 😭

♡ imagine just laying on top of your bed with abby, your head on her chest while watching a cheesy romcom <3 ur so comfortable and warm, almost falling asleep on top of her. ur literally in ur happy place just focusing on feeling her soft breaths tickling your hair. all of a sudden, abby starts breathing heavier and heavier and her leg just jumps in anger and youre like wtf abs????

♡ “your stupid fucking dolls” she whines and huffs and you realize shes quite literally surrounded, circled, by about 6 plushies all around her. 2 laying on her head, 3 on the side of the bed being squished on the wall by her figure, and one just fully squished under her ass (u have absolutely no idea how that one even got there.) “theyre not dolls abby theyre my plushies and you better put some respect on their name” you tell her and she gives you this look like why is my girlfriend the weirdest person in the world. then she just side eyes, like fully side eyes, giving one of ur plushies the dirtiest look and elbows it???? 😭 “abby!!!” you whine at her and hit your hand on her chest. “theyre taking up my space!” she responds, like a literal big baby and ur like “dont elbow richard!!!” and she just blows out her eyes “they have names???” “screw you richard” and u immediately grab richard and give him a kiss and shes gasps like “what the hell?” bc who the fuck is richard and why are you giving HIM a kiss and not HER

♡ then ur like “woah… abs… did you just get jealous?” because you know just that look so well and she just huffs “pft no” and states at the ceiling all offended and you decide to make a show out of it bc big jealous baby abby is your favorite kind of abby so you give your plushy even more kisses just to spite her and shes all shocked looking like she just caught you cheating and just tells you “youre insane for that”, takes richard, throws him on the floor with such force and starts giving your face little kisses and whispers “mine mine mine mine” and you just let out these inhumane giggles, borderline screeching bc richards face somehow landed with his eyes directly towards you like *O*

♡ one morning after waking up with abby, u make ur bed while shes sipping on her coffee just staring at u (she loves looking at u doing domestic shit bc it makes her want to bend u over). n every time u make ur bed u make sure to organize all the plushies in the right places (duh they need to stand like soldiers bc they all have their own cliques bc some of them are beefing) you puffed out your pillows all nicely and as soon as you grab one of the plushies off of the floor to put it on your bed abby decides to just grab it and throw it on the floor. literally just robotically throws it on the floor. you dont say anything or even react, just roll your eyes to yourself bc she decided to fuck with you and its 8am and you do NOT have the energy. you grab it off the floor again, put it in its place, and as soon as you go and grab the second plushie, she does it AGAIN. just takes it - and throws it on the floor. you just give her this deadpanned look and shes like “what?” while taking another sip. “abby” you warn, and she just raises her brows like what did i do? 🤨 “stop that” you tell her and go grab it AGAIN. this time she lets it slide and doesnt do anything. u slowly and hesitantly tip toe and go pick up the second plushie, relieved she didnt throw it again, and then - she kicks it from you, picks you up so easily while youre squealing “abby let me go!!!” and she places you on your pillow and says “my plushie, hm?” and ur heart sort of melts and ur kind of a puddle now but u have to make the bed and shes not letting you for like 25 whole minutes

♡ one time, you have manny and her in your apartment to just hang out together. since these 2 are literally always hungry they basically beg you to make them something to eat (usually abby would never tell u to cook, since she loves doing it for you) but she was so tired and had to entertain manny bc if hes left alone for 5 seconds he turns into a 4 year old. so u go and make them some pasta while they chill in the living room. when u come back with their plates (and yours) you literally catch them playing some weird ass version of football with one of your fucking plushies. literally one of them is being thrown around the living room like a balloon from one side to the other and youre so shocked. youre standing there with the plates and immediately put them down on the table and try pushing abby away and shes like “what??? im playing with your dolls” and you start banging on her chest “they. are not. my dolls!!!!!” and she just melts bc ur so cute in ur apron and ur literally almost crying and she just coos at you “im sorry sweetheart im so sorry” but she cant help but laugh and manny’s literally cracking up on the floor

♡ btw. she gets brutual when she fucks u in ur room. you being you, you always insist on turning your plushies around to not face you (because they should not be watching their mom getting raw dogged and thrown around like a literal rag doll on their own bed) and one time while abbys fucking you and youre on all fours she just grabs one of them. and turns it to face you. “ab- abby- no” youre whimpering while getting your insides destroyed and she pants over you “yes abby- yes” mocking you and laughing in your ear forcing you to make direct eye contact with her sworn enemy, richard himself.

[3lsmp]

"The canary curse and why I absolutely hate it" - an in depth tumblr post by celebi 3lsmp (in a state of covid sickbrain) (with assistance from my friend fern)

Hi. as many of you know, i fucking hate the canary curse Jimmy headcanon. It sucks. I hate it here. but have you ever wondered WHY? Celebi, WHY do you hate jimmy solidarity canary curse headcanon. WELL LET ME TELL YOU !!

In general I try not to be a hater, fandom spaces generally hate unpopular opinions so I keep my mouth shut but Ive decided today I have the audacity to argue my case. You may think I'm being a nit-picker with this but. hear me out.

For starters, IN MY OPINION, a lot of the fandom has forgotten what the real story of the canary in the coalmine is. Canarys were used in coalmines in the 1900s to aid coal miners in recognising when harmful gasses were within the cave and when the canary would collapse and die they would exit the cave to safety. While yes, Jimmy does run out of lives (permadie) first in 4/5 seasons of the life series, he doesnt actually die first. He permadies first in 3rd life, but doesnt lose the first life! This honour goes to scar with the grian creeper prank. In last life, the first life lost is Grian! in Double life it's . technically Tango. In Limited life it's Skizz, in secret life it's Martyn. So would their deaths not be considered omens of death also?

Secondly, Jimmy's permadeaths are often considered "omens of the end" or "omens of future tragedy" which, have you watched the series? have you watched the seasons? were they not tragic from the start? This idea almost implies that the life series isnt tragic until Jimmy dies? Which I do not like. Jimmy has plenty of tragic moments to his own character before his death.

This brings me onto the fandom's "woobification" of jimmy. If you take nothing away from this post other than this I will be happy, because people need to be more aware of the fact that he is completely being infantalized. Jimmy is an adult man. AN ADULT MAN. He does not need to be saved from the big bad curse of death or the "coal mine" or anything. Just because he sucks at minecraft does not make him a sweet little baby bird that needs to saved. You wouldn't treat Bigb, or Ren or Martyn like a wet kitten in a cardboard box because they die a lot. Shockingly, other people suck at minecraft in this series too. Have you seen Joels traps? is he the canary of the tnt minecart? are we gonna make him a sweet little baby bird too? No, we aren't. Jimmy is an adult man with balls. treat him like one.

Lastly, creating this headcanon which entirely around Jimmy's death, to me, erases the importance of the things he did when he was alive within the series. Would the Flower Husbands have gone to war against dogwarts if Jimmy hadn't burned the dogwarts flag in front of Ren & Martyn? Would The southlands have ended the same if Jimmy hadn't robbed the life from the lifeswapping ritual? Jimmy has more impact in his story than his deaths. He is not a character who dies off to further 3L! Scott's arc, he is not the silly background comedy of the southlands and he is more than just a death curse.

TLDR : use your brain and be more creative and please for the love of god free me from canary jimmy.

also im sick of everyone being birds. where is the flavour. where is the variety.

[karak9]

screw therian gatekeepers I’m proud to be a silly little dog who dresses weird and has too many kintypes and barks to communicate with my partner. haters can stay mad I experience joy and wonder and love my identity and don’t feel the need to prove my experiences are real in a 10 paragraph long essay about why I consider myself nonhuman. I’m so happy there are kids on tiktok who feel comfortable enough to post videos of them running around on all fours to share with their friends or make friends with other young therians. I’m happy I see the theta delta in twitter bios so often and that more people are unapologetically their weird selves and have a community where they feel comfortable actually being themselves and expressing that without any internalized self hatred or strictness about how you’re allowed to identify or how you’re allowed to treat your identity. I’m glad everyone is different and some people can enjoy writing essays about their alterhumanity without looking down on the people who don’t. I’m glad there are nonhumans who aren’t comfortable wearing kin gear but don’t put down the people who dress obviously kin on the daily and it affects every aspect of them as people. I’m glad we’re growing out of elitism and that bitchy gatekeepers are leaving the community because “”therianthropy isn’t what it used to be””. fuck you, we didn’t want your grumpy boomer ass here anyway. we don’t have space for toxicity and self hatred anymore.

[ot3]

A while back there was a post going around about how you shouldn’t rate or leave negative comments in your bookmark tags on ao3 because the author could see it. But it kinda shows a weird discrepancy where the diehard fanfic folk want fanfic to be seen as a legitimate art form but also can’t handle criticism of it because “it’s for fun.” Anyway there’s fanfic I like but don’t think is particularly well done and I don’t think I can ever comment that without getting eaten alive on ao3

To add onto my last ask about criticism on fanfic. I think ultimately any piece of art you put out to the world is going to be criticized no matter what. And as any artist or writer you should probably prepare for that

i definitely agree that anything public is subject to criticism but i dont think that necessarily means it's a free for all. my stance in the case of hobbyist works is that you're allowed to be as critical as you like in your own spaces but if you're somehere where the creator is almost guarantee to see it, that's just kind of a dick move more than anything else. i dont think fanfiction is beyond criticism at all and am in fact constantly bitching about how i also think its almost all bad. but i also don't think its really productive or cathartic in any way to say this to peoples 'faces' so to speak.

i'm not super familiar with the ao3 bookmark system so i don't really know what the etiquette there but maybe its kind of analogous to tumblr tags, in the effect that it's supposed to be Your commentary and Your organization system but also op also has immediate access to it. i definitely don't think you should go around tagging people's art just to rag on it, so i dont think i'm super in favor for doing that in bookmarks either.

its lke if you were someone who doesnt exercise a lot and you got into jogging would you want some sort of Running Expert filming a tiktok directly next to you about how your form could be improved? i don't really think it would matter how constructive or well intentioned they were it would still probably kinda feel like shit. but then on the flipside i think they have a right to go home and post to their #RunningTok or whatever the fuck about how they hate these annoying mistakes beginners always make.

i agree that 'any artist or writer' should be prepared to deal with a level of negative feedback for their work. and the people who turn around and write a post about how fanfiction is important and transformative queer art one moment then follow it up with a post about how if you ever have anything bad to say it you're just being a nasty little hater and need to shut up are ridiculous. The 'let people enjoy things' crowd are easily one of the worst demographics on this website. But i think the level of negative feedback an artist or writer should be prepared to deal with is vastly different in the case of people who are Creating as their profession vs people who are doing it as hobbyists.

the amount of people who think they fanfiction theyre producing is Groundbreaking Literature and deserves to be lauded as such while also demanding no critique are a small but vocal minority. one that pretty much 1:1 overlaps with people who view Fandom as an identity rather than an activity. the rest are like... teens just starting to dabble with narrative writing or people with day jobs who think its fun to do every now and then.

[raining-its-pouring]

Not a Pebbles hater not a Pebbles lover but a secret third thing.

What he did he did out of complete and utter desperation. There was no noble intent, there was no malice, there was just the need to get out. To break the cycle he was trapped in, damn the consequences. Of course he acted rashly when he thought he found the key to ascending. (Not dying, mind you, he wanted to use the state of death in the cycle to tap into ascension. He didn’t - necessarily - want to die, but it was, in his mind, one of the necessary steps for iterators to take if they wanted to ascend.)

To be clear, there was no evidence that it would work. Just the speculations of a bunch of desperate people trying to escape a thankless situation. And Pebbles was so desperate he was willing to gamble it all, including his and Moon’s wellbeing, on those speculations.

On a slightly different note I do think there’s a weird snobbery that people have ABOUT rain world weirdly? That there’s this idea that applying real world stuff like suicide and whatnot is stupid bc this world is intentionally alien. But while I think Ascension isn’t death, I think the ideology of both the Ancients and the Sliverists can be seriously read as an allegory for depression and suicide.

We don’t know what Ascension is. I think far too many people write off that it’s inherently bad, when no where in canon is that a given. But we don’t know if it’s inherently good either, that’s just a desperate hope of the Ancients and Five Pebbles. They hope that whatever the next step is, it won’t be the living hell they seem to be in here.

My interpretation is that it’s just another step. It can be whatever the individual (if there is still a sense of identity to retain,) makes of it, and that happiness isn’t an inherent factor of it, but neither is unhappiness.

And that’s where I think the allegory can apply really well. Five Pebbles and the Ancients (at least the ones who left the biggest impact behind) are deeply, deeply unhappy. And I’d argue for good reason - theoretical immortality sounds, in my opinion, awful.

But Five Pebbles is one of the youngest iterators we see. Moon is one of the oldest. She seems to be content with her situation. And perhaps this is her folly - and I’d argue it is, a little - but I’d also argue that Five Pebbles does not try many other alternatives (that we know of) before deciding the problem is this stage of the cycle itself. That it’s out of his hands, because this existence- this stage- must be an inherent unhappy one. From there it’s not the biggest leap to deciding that the answer is to force his way into the next one as soon as possible, without seeing if he can carve a space for himself in this one. And I think that’s a very real parallel to a lot of people with suicidal ideation.

I think it also has something interesting to say in that regard. There’s a lot of argument around depression and suicide, specifically around “if the situation is bad enough and there’s no end in sight, how much does ‘changing your thinking’ really help the situation?” To which there is near endless debate. And to which I think the iterators situation is an interesting (and deliberate) wrinkle in the allegory tying into that.

It’s just one reading of it, and I think there are many more. But my point is that there is a very real, very canon-based reading there. And I’d like it if people stopped acting like it’s a misrepresentation of the text.

[seeingivy]

ahhh congrats on 1K!! you deserve it all :D

for your concert, may I suggest got my mind set on you for eren with a friends to lovers type trope? like maybe eren has a bit of a past as a fuckboy and realizes now that he's in love with his friend. she doesn't believe him given his history, so he is determined to woo her, but really he just needs to show her that he's serious about her (because she has already loved him this whole time hehe). OR whatever you want to do!!

got my mind set on you

eren x f!reader

**part of my debut concert event

content: drinking, reader gets her periods and leaks on her sheets, eren is a manwhore, hitch is a hater, jean and marco are masterminds

an: thank you sweet sweet anon! you deserve all the love in the world. I hope you like it <333

--

“Y/N. White wife-beater or black wife-beater?” 

You peek up from the top of your textbook to glare at him and he has that stupid, stupid grin on his face. The one he uses to get anything he wants. 

“Man. At this point you’re just trying to sound like an asshole.” mutters Jean, taking Armin’s pillow and smacking it straight into his face. 

Mikasa and Armin laugh in response, agreeing as Eren makes his way over to you, flopping on his bed next to you. He’s leaning directly into your space, that musky cologne enveloping your nose as he starts talking. 

“Y/N.” 

“Eren.” 

“Black or white?” 

“Ass or face?” 

“What?” 

“Do you want me to punch you in the ass or in the face?” 

He laughs as he bends over, sticking the aforementioned ass into your space as he knocks your textbook out of your hands and you push him away. And you try to fight the smile trying to make its way on to your face, trying to feign as much anger as you can. 

But you can’t be mad at Eren. You can’t be anything but a jumbled mess of feelings at Eren lately. 

When you moved to college, you were looking forward to getting a fresh start from the town that you grew up in. Not that it was ever a bad place but it was never really a good place either. And you were ready to let it all go, to move away from your parents, to find out who you were. 

And just your luck, the one boy from your highschool going to the same college as you ends up in your orientation group and never leaves you alone after that. Dragging you to random club meetings for free food, taking you to mixers that your RA hosted, trying to sneak into frat parties together. 

At some point, you were just always together. And maybe some small part of you really liked having him around. That he wanted to be your best friend, told you all the little inner workings of his mind instead of someone else. That he thinks the Loch Ness Monster is made up, that he likes the Twilight movie soundtracks a little bit too much, that he loves mystery books. 

And he’s dorky - snorts when he laughs too hard, can’t drink beer without spilling it all over his shirt, and is so weirdly passionate about these little sea animals that he’s spending the entire summer doing an internship at the marine biology research lab at your university. 

But he’s also sweet - trying to memorize all the little facts about you, picking you up from class as a habit, telling you that you’re prettier than some shit guy who won’t come by. 

He’s your friend. Your sweet, secret little dorky friend. No one looks at you. But no one looks at him either. Maybe you guys only look at each other. 

Except when you come back from the summer, his dork is replaced with…charm. Charisma, an appeal, a magnetism. And maybe he was always really charming, but no one paid attention to it. It was just for you. 

But now they do - because he’s grown out his soft brown hair into this sunkissed loose man bun and spending all summer swimming in tidepools has defined his muscles. Because he was always gangly and a little awkward but one summer has him looking fit, in all the right places. 

That’s when it starts raining on your parade. Because when you and Eren go to parties, you’re talking to him less and the girl who's drunk and throwing up in the bathroom more. He’s too busy talking to the pretty girls, twirling their locks of hair in his hands and batting his pretty eyelashes at them. 

And he still picks you up from class with an iced coffee in hand, except the barista scribbled her name over your cup because she wants Eren to call her later. And you know Eren leans into it, because this newfound attention only gives him confidence to show off more. 

To tell girls about the creepy little slugs he spent all summer looking for so they can coo over how cute it is that he cares, to show off those ridiculously defined muscles, to gleam at people the way he does. 

You’re interrupted by your train of thought as Historia, the girl Eren met at a club meeting knocks on the door, shining sunlight at Eren as she smiles at him. And when he flicks the top of your forehead and stands up to press a kiss to her cheek and run out with her, you stick your face back into your textbook. 

And pretend it doesn’t sting. 

You peer over your notebook again to find Jean hanging upside down on the bunk, his eyes staring into yours. 

“Hi Y/N.” 

“Hi Jean. The blood is rushing to your head. You look like an overly ripe tomato.” 

He laughs as he flops off the bunk and next to you, leaning his head in to read your textbook. 

“A tort is a civil law that causes a claimant to suffer loss or….this shit is so fucking boring.” 

He snatches the textbook away from your clutches and flings it off the bed, giving an innocent smile as he does. 

“I was reading that.” 

“And now you’re not!” 

“Do you want something from me, Jean?” 

“Yeah. Let’s go on a date.” 

“You have a boyfriend.” 

“Yeah. It was his idea.” 

He pulls you up by the wrists as you both shuffle out of Armin and Eren’s dorm room, giving half-hearted goodbyes to Mikasa and Armin as he dragged you back to your hal. Trying to convince you to go on a date with him. 

“No.” 

“Listen. You make this mopey sad face whenever he brings a girl around. It’s really ugly.” 

“Thanks, Jean. You’re such a gentleman.” 

He pinches the bridge of his nose as he swings your door open, the two of you flopping onto your bed. 

“I just mean- I hate that you wait around for him. And Marco does too. I think it would be nice. For me to take you out, to make you feel special, to remind you that you don’t have to hopelessly pine over that idiot and wait for him to look at you back.” 

“Jean, I just-” 

He stands up, locking his fingers with yours, as he tries to use his boyish charm on you. And it’s entirely different from Eren’s. Where Eren oozes pure charisma, like you can’t help but give in because you just want to know what he’s getting at. 

Jean’s charm is more…boyish. Innocent. Because he’s smiling at you, all soft and genuine. Like you want to give in because you know he means well. It’s sweet. So you agree.

--

“Eren.” 

“Hm?” 

“Pink dress or white skirt?” 

You hold up the options as Eren looks at you for the first time - even though he’s been in your dorm for the past three hours texting Historia in your bed - and squints at you. 

“Are you wearing makeup?” 

“Yeah. I’m going on a date.” 

He stands up, placing his hands on your cheek as he moves your face around in the air, taking in the product on your face. A soft glitter on your eyelids, black around your eyes that makes your eyes look infinitely bigger, and soft pink on the tops of your cheeks. 

“With who?” 

“Well, Jean for now. But it’s practice before I start going on real dates you know?” 

“You’re going on dates? Why?” 

You roll your eyes as you turn back in the mirror, holding up the options to your frame as you weigh what to wear. 

“Because. I want to get out there and I’m like…deeply touch starved or whatever. I just want someone told hold me or something. And it feels weird to do it cold turkey so Jean’s taking me.” 

“You could have asked me. I could take you.” 

You roll your eyes as you push past him, reaching for your flowery perfume that you spray on for special occasions. Eren’s leaning against your bedpost, his eyes scrunched up in frustration that for some reason is really annoying you. 

“You have a girlfriend.” 

“Hisu’s not my girlfriend. We’re just talking.” 

“Okay, yeah. Same thing.” 

“Jean has a boyfriend.” 

“This was Marco’s idea, Eren. He’s not going to care if I actually go on it and I think he’s probably the one who bought the flowers Jean’s going to bring me.” 

You hold the two options up in the air again, boring your eyes into Eren’s as you gesture for him to respond again. 

“I’m not picking.” 

“I literally pick your date outfits for you all the time. You could pick for me.” 

And Eren mutters something that sounds like pink under his breath which you smile brightly at as you duck into your closet to slip the dress on. And when it’s all fresh and pressed against your skin, there’s a knock on your door and a very smiley Jean waiting for you. 

As you predicted, he’s holding a pretty bouquet of pink flowers in his hand, wearing a nice buttoned up shirt as opposed to his usual lame t-shirts. 

“Hi. Don’t you look pretty?” 

He reaches for your wrist and lifts your hand up to spin you around, the pleats of your dress whooshing in the air and a stupid laugh falling out of your lips. 

“Jean. You’re laying it on a little thick there.” 

He shakes his head dismissively as he places the bouquet on your desk, giving a small nod to Eren as he walks back to you, pinching the side of your cheek. 

“You’re getting the full Jean Kirschtein experience. I have to set the bar high so you don’t settle for a whole idiot or anything.” 

And Eren watches you and he hates it. That he has this angry, green little monster simmering in his chest. That you’re smiling at Jean, that he’s taking you on a date to set your standards, that you’re wearing a pretty dress and laughing with someone who isn’t him. 

And he knows it’s wrong. That he has no right to be jealous when he’s talked to other girls ever since the summer ended while you’ve remained steadfast and true. And it wasn’t like you were staying true to him because Eren’s positive that you don’t feel that obligation, that loyalty to him, but some part of him feels like you do. Or wishes that you do. 

But suddenly…he’s feeling it for you. That he shouldn’t be with anyone but you, that he’s the person who should be taking you on cute dates, twirling you around in pretty dresses, having you spread glitter all over your face for him. 

Eren texts Historia as he watches you and Jean duck out the door. 

“Uh huh, Kirschtein. I’m sure this is gonna be the best date of my life.”

“That’s a promise, baby girl.” 

“Ew. Baby girl?” 

“Do you prefer sweetheart instead?” 

“You’re so fucking corny, Jean.”  

And when the door closes, he sends the text. 

I want to see other people. Sorry Hisu.  

--

You return from your date with Jean to find Eren slumped over in your bed, typing away on his laptop. Your roommate, Hitch, is glaring bloody murder at you as she flits her eyes over to his direction. 

“Eren.” 

“Ah. You’re back. How was it?” 

“What are you doing in my room? I left hours ago.” 

“Just wanted to see you when you got back. And I was spending time with my best friend, Hitch. She’s just so riveting to talk to and I just love her so much.” 

She throws her portable fan at his head, which he catches before it makes contact and then throws it back at her.

“I’ll walk you back to yours, Eren. And you’re buying Hitch coffee as an apology.” 

He rolls his eyes as he grabs his bag, blowing fake kisses to Hitch as she flips him off. You’re both trodding through the hall, the building quiet. It’s Friday night. Everyone’s partying. 

“Didn’t want to party tonight, Eren?” 

“Nah. Didn’t feel like it. How was your date?” 

You smile as you twiddle with your fingers. 

It was nice. To feel special, to have someone tell you that you were pretty. And sure he didn’t mean it in that way and it was entirely platonic, but it was nice to have someone look at you. Who wants to make you feel special, try to coax you into doing things you don’t usually do. 

And you’re positive it’ll feel even better when the feelings are reciprocated. 

“Really nice, Eren. I’m excited to…meet people. Date them. Have someone make me feel special, tell me I’m pretty.” 

“You’re pretty.” 

You look over to find Eren’s cheeks burning pink, the tips of his ears red as he avoids eye contact with you. 

“Thank you?” 

“Ye-yeah. Sure.” 

You make it to Eren’s door and he swings the door open, dragging you in by the wrist. From the looks of it, Armin’s not home, Eren’s desk light flickering on the desk. He drags you to his bed, the two of you sitting on his plush duvet. 

“Eren. I was just walking you here. I’m kind of tired from the painting.” 

“You went painting?” 

“Yeah. It was like a pottery type thing. We picked out mugs and just painted on them. Talked about stuff. Shared an ice cream together after. Jean and Marco gave me very sweet kisses on the cheek when I dropped him back off to his dorm.” 

Eren pushes his hand through his hair as he asks, the question making the air in his throat burn. 

“Ah. Would you ever…go on a date with me?” 

And you laugh. Quite literally laugh, because he cannot be serious. 

“God, Eren. Don’t be a cliche right now.” 

“What?” 

“You see your best friend go on a date with another guy and suddenly you’re interested in her. It’s like every corny rom-com.” 

You lean forward, pinching the plush of his cheek. 

“You just want what you can’t have, Eren. I’ve been waiting for you to notice me for two years. And of course, you only look at me when you can’t have me.” 

“Wait, but I-” 

“Eren. I want someone who makes me feel special. And you’ve always been special to me, but I want to be special to someone too. Let’s not make our friendship weird. And hey, maybe we can actually be equals this time.” 

“Equals?” 

“Two people who care about each other the same amount. Not one person hopelessly pining over the other.” 

You give his cheek one last pinch as you pad out his door, giving him a smile before you slam the door shut. 

--

The next morning, Eren’s standing outside your Civil Law lecture with a coffee in hand. And a shy smile pressed across his face. 

“Good morning, Y/N.” 

“Hi Eren.” 

Despite your admission of your feelings and your swift rejection of Eren, he’s still standing here. And you were expecting it, because you know that Eren wasn’t really saying any of that in earnest. And it’s nice to admit your feelings, as a way of letting them go before you give in and like someone else. 

You take the cup from his hand and shove the much needed caffeine into your mouth, the two of you strolling to your next class. You look over to find Eren with a pinched look on his face, like he’s constipated. 

“Eren.” 

“Hm?” 

“Cat got your tongue? What’s wrong with you?” 

“You didn’t…look at the cup.” 

You look back down at the cup to find handwriting scribbled on it in green sharpie. 

you look pretty today, sweet girl 

You laugh, holding it up in the air. 

“No way. The barista called you a sweet girl? It’s that long ass hobo hair you have.” 

“What? That wasn’t the barista, that was me!” 

“You wrote on the cup? Why?” 

“For you, stupid! I’m trying to romance you.” 

You spit the coffee straight into your cup, looking back down at the cup again. And holy shit he’s right - the way the g is looped and the writing is slanted, it really is Eren’s handwriting. 

“Eren.” 

“What?” 

“It’s cute. But you’re going to do it for like one week. And then get bored of waiting and see some pretty girl at a party and change your mind.” 

“I’m not! You’re it for me.”

“Eren. Bullshit. You wouldn’t last a month.” 

He leans forward, pressing you into the hard of the wall as he looks down, green eyes glinting in yours. 

“Bet.” 

“What?” 

“I’ll bet on it. Prove it to you. That I’ve got my mind set on you.” 

“Uh huh. That takes a lot of patience, Eren. Time. Something that’s never been your forté.” 

“I’ll make it my forté, if it’s for you.” 

You give into the bet. A month for Eren to romance you, to prove that he’s really only got his mind set on you. 

You give in because you know you’ll win. He gives in because he wants to prove the stupid, silly girl he loves that he can do it right. 

--

eren: good morning silly little woman. fit check pls :D 

you: no. 

eren: cmon. ive got back to back classes and im missing that cute little face of yours :((( 

you: just ask ur hoes. im sure they’re cute too. 

eren: no hoes. im allergic to gardening. 

you: you should start stand up comedy. you’d be really good at it.  

eren: you want me so bad 

you: shut up

eren: im waiting!!!! time is ticking doll, i will show up to your club meeting and start gushing about how pretty my girlfriend is in front of all your little prospective club members if i don’t get a fit check in ten seconds

you: not your girlfriend 

eren: yet. three weeks to go. 

you: do you not have anything else to do?

eren: picture and i’ll be out of your hair. 

you: sent one attachment

eren: eren jaeger found dead at twenty-one.

you: thank god. 

eren: cause of death - the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen in my life. absolute heartstopper

you: EREN. YOU’RE SO GROSS AND CORNY STOP. 

eren: ok ok see you after class sweet girl. and thanks for the picture. corniness aside, it really did make my day. you’re my favorite thing to look at. 

You ignore the pounding in your chest as you throw your phone into your purse and head to the coffee shop. And what you hoped would be an uninterrupted study session is interrupted by a certain green eyed idiot, smiling at you as he takes the seat across from you. 

“Hi doll.” 

“Eren. You have class.” 

“Got canceled. The planets and the fates and all the stars aligned. You and me, free for a little study date at the same time.” 

You crinkle your nose as you lift your backpack from the seat next to you, Eren sliding in and taking a sip from your watered down coffee. 

“Did you just rhyme? How long did that one take you?” 

“The whole walk over here. Did you like it?” 

“No.” 

Eren opens up his laptop, the two of you working in silence. And in the smallest of ways, Eren’s making it hard for you to focus. 

Tangling his legs with yours under the desk, resting his hand on your thigh every time you work out one of your homework problems with him, tucking your hair behind your ear every time it annoyingly flops forward. 

“Oh! I have something for you.” 

He holds out a tiny little candy, a twisted mango strawberry pop. The one you can only get in Shiganshina, a four hour drive away. 

“What the fuck? You had Mindy’s the entire time and your greedy ass wasn’t sharing?” 

You take the little candy in his hand, twisting the ends open and letting the flavors melt on your tongue. And the nostalgia hits your head, running in the grass as a kid, your mom keeping a little box on the top of the microwave for you two to share at the end of the day. 

“Just got them. I drove all the way to Shiganshina to get them for you.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“I’m being serious. I went on Sunday, after my lab meeting. Got the box, hung out with my dog for an hour and came back.” 

“You were probably just running an errand down there. I bet Zeke just needed your help with something.” 

“My parents and Zeke are in Hizuru, remember?” 

You feel your mouth go dry as you shuffle the candy in your mouth, huffing back in your chair. Corny ass idiot. They are in Hizuru to meet Zeke’s new girlfriend. But there’s no way in hell he drove all the way there just to get you a candy. 

“There’s no way you-”

“I’ve got my mind set on you. In my mind, you and I are already dating. I’m just kind of waiting for you to catch up.” 

“Oh, quit i-” 

“When you’re my girlfriend, we’ll go together. Make a little drive out of it, see your parents and my parents. Get Mindy’s. Bother that lady who works at the aquarium.” 

“Eren.” 

He pinches your cheek as you frown, rolling your eyes at him. 

“For now, I'll just drive down there alone to get you candy. Three more weeks, stink.” 

--

Your stress is building. You’ve got two term papers due next week, a club meeting to plan, a project to go over with your research advisor, and groceries to do. And really, really all you are is bone dead tired. That you can feel your bones dragging and your eye bags deepening and the panic shuffling every time you breathe in and out. 

Your final straw? Forgetting you were going to get your period and leaking onto your bed sheets. 

And you know it’s not a big deal. That you can wash the sheets and get the stain out, that you can take a shower to feel better. 

But this tiny little thing, this red blotch on your sheets, is enough to push you over the edge. Because you’re tired, because so much is going on, because this is just another thing you don’t have time to do but have to. 

You can feel the tears streaming down your eyes, burning the sensitive skin underneath your eyes and flushing your cheek. 

That’s when Eren finds you. Curled up on the ground, tears streaming down your eyes. 

“Woah, hey. Hey, talk to me. What’s wrong?” 

He falls flat on the floor next to you, opening up his arms which you roll into and start soaking his shirt in your salty tears. He’s whispering into your ear, whispering sweet nothings and his warm arms are holding you. 

“Tell me what happened. Use your words.” 

“I-I have a lot to do. The Civil Law paper and the entire plan for the-the club meeting. Dr. Smith wants to meet with me about my-my research plan and I’m not ready and I got my period and leaked on my sheets and I don’t have time to clean and-” 

“Okay. It’s okay.” 

His warm, calloused hands are rubbing into the small of your back, his hold still firm against you. And he drags you up, opening the shower and warming it up for you. He’s rummaged through your closet - pulled out a stack of clothes and set them on the counter. 

“Are you…going to leave?” 

“Of course not, Y/N. Outside when you’re done, okay?” 

And you take the shower. Spend too long standing underneath the warm water, letting the shower scald your skin in a comforting way, relishing in the smell of your springy body soap washing you clean. Of the tears, of the blood, of your frustrations. 

When you towel up your hair and reach for the stack of clothes on the counter, you only now realize what this cheeky bastard did. Left a pair of your pajamas and the hoodie he was wearing on the counter. 

You pull it on, his musky smell mixing with the scent of your flowery shampoo, as you pad out of your room, Eren folding your laundry on your bed. 

“Eren.” 

He turns around and gives you a warm smile, walking forward to lock his fingers with yours. 

“You look so cute right now. Pouty little face and your hair in this stupid towel.” 

“Quit it.” 

He leads you over to your bed, climbing on as he pulls you forward. 

“Cleaned the sheets. Did your laundry. And made a plan for you to finish the paper and emailed Erwin from your account that you’re not free until the week after and-” 

You can feel your eyes burning, the tears welling up in your face. You lean into his arms and he rests his chin against the top of your head, his hands snaking under your hoodie to press against your cold skin. 

“Eren.” 

“Hm.” 

“This is a really elaborate plan to get into my pants.” 

He laughs, the sound vibrating through his chest as he talks. 

“I know.” 

“I knew it, you dick. You only want to get in my pants.”  

“Well, that’s part of it. I am very attracted to you. I’m not going to pretend like I don’t want to be in your pants.” 

“Charming. The whole “I’ve got my mind set on you thing” is really working.” 

“I'm being honest! I want to be in your pants and in your head and all your little dreams and your heart too.” 

You rest your head against his chest, his heartbeat hammering against your ears as he finishes talking. And when you drift off to sleep, you can still feel it beating in tandem with yours. And try to forget why you and Eren are waiting two weeks to do this for real in the first place. 

--

He’s done it now. And you’ve caught him in the fucking act. The sweet, sweet satisfaction of proving this idiot wrong - that he would get bored of waiting for you and move onto another girl is standing right in front of you. 

It’s Eren’s friend Reiner’s birthday. Eren had told you in advance that he couldn’t see you Friday and you obliged. 

Except, Hitch invited you to the party the day of, claiming she needed someone to walk in with so she didn’t look like an idiot. Some guy Marlowe she’s really into is going to be there and she has to be at her best. 

And when you get to the party, you lose Hitch in all but five seconds, left in this awkward, sweaty mess of a room alone. But when you walk over to the kitchen, you see it. 

Eren leaning over the counter, talking to a girl. Short brown hair, a mass of freckles over her face, the two of them smiling at each other. And when you march over there, you’re all but too happy to rub it in his face. 

Because you’re right. And you knew you were right. That Eren, all hot and toned and sexy from his beach summer, would not give it up. The attention, the girls, the love he gets from all of it for you. That he would look at other things and not at you, that you couldn’t be enough for him. And he can buy you coffee and do your laundry and be there for you all he wants, but you know deep down you’re right. 

“You little son of a bitch. Week three and I win.” you say, crossing your hands over your chest. 

“Huh?” 

“I win. You’re at a party, flirting with a girl. Meaning, you don’t have your mind set on me. Meaning, I’m right. That you can’t let go of being a manwhore for me, that you surely have your eyes wandering elsewhere even though you claim to be only looking at me.” 

“Y/N-” 

“You think driving to get me candy and doing my laundry and giving me your hoodie would buy me over? You’re not getting into my pants for a quick fuck just because you know you can and-” 

He pulls you forward, clamping his hand over your mouth. He’s squinting his eyes at you, almost like he’s confused at your outburst. And when you look over at the girl, you realize why. 

It’s Ymir. The president of the Gay-Straight Alliance Ymir. Like literally the gayest girl you’ve probably ever met in your life. 

“Oh.” 

Eren smiles, rolling his eyes, as he drops his hands to lock his hand with yours. 

“Yeah, oh. Did you not see it was her when you walked over?” 

“No. Hi Ymir.” 

Ymir smiles, reaching forward to mess with your hair as she turns to Eren. 

“You’re right. She really is stubborn.” Ymir says, smiling at him. 

“Tell me about it. She does this every time I do something nice for her.” he responds, squeezing your hand as he talks. 

“Well, you are a manwhore.” 

“Not anymore, Ymir! I’m only a whore for her.” 

She pinches your cheek as she walks off, linking arms with a certain blonde as you walk away. And when you look over, Eren’s lazily making a drink for you on the counter, swirling it in his hand before he gives you the cup. 

“It’s Jungle Juice. There’s like three different liquors in it but you can’t really taste it s-”

“You’re not mad?” 

“Huh?” 

“I just…yelled at you. Really unfairly. And you’re not even mad?” 

“Got my mind set on you. Like you said, this thing takes patience. And time. I’ll wait for it. You’ll come to see I’m surprisingly good at this patience understanding when it’s something I really, really want.” 

And as he tilts his head back, pouring the drink into his mouth, like the entire outburst you had didn’t happen. And that’s it. You crane your head around the kitchen, looking for it. 

“Whatcha looking for?” 

Eren watches you mill around the kitchen, opening drawers, lifting picture frames as you look for it. And when you find it - the calendar posted on Reiner’s wall - you rip it off and place it in front of Eren with a marker in your hand. 

“What’s this, Y/N?” 

“Did you know that I can move time forward?” 

“Huh? How much have you had to drink?” 

You reach forward, crossing out through the entire week. The last week of the month, for the bet you and Eren had. 

Because he’s convinced you. That his mind’s set on you. That even if he used to like other girls, the girl he likes now is you. Enough to drive hours to make you happy, take care of you - bloody sheets and all, and gush at a party about you to other people. Like he’s proud to be around you, like you’re the only thing he looks at. 

“I don’t follow, sweet girl.” 

“The bet started three weeks ago. And I crossed out the last week, so it’s over now. And I want to be with you no-” 

He leans forward, pressing his warm, plush lips against yours as he can’t help but smile through the kiss. All warm and fruity, surely from the drink Eren just made. And he whispers against your mouth, eliciting a laugh out of you. 

“Thank fucking god. You were driving me insane, you little heathen.” 

You reach forward, tangling your hands with the collar of his shirt as you pull him down again, pressing your lips against his, trying to memorize the feel, the sensation of him against you. 

And when Hitch comes home from the party, all buzzed, to find you two under the covers, watching a movie, she says one thing and one thing only. 

“No fucking in my bed.”

--

taglist: @platrom @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @daisynik7 @rebeccawinters ​@itzmeme 

[mcytblrconfessions]

Hi, little hater here from earlier. At no point when writing that out did I think it was misogynistic, but like. Yeah it might have been a little bit. Idk if I would care enough to yap about it if it had been just another guy being added. Maybe I am holding her to higher expectations then I would for a male creator.

I was hoping for other female creators to get in, and maybe since she was the final person announced in the 6 we expected I'm salty cause she 'took' the hypothetical slot that other creators I was hoping for for lifesteal. And that's stupid, and looking back I know that that's stupid. And that's not on Kab, that's on Lifesteal for adding 6 guys and 1 girl, and that's on me for bitching about it in a public place.

I've been watching her for a while now, and I really do want her to succeed. I think some of my hesitancy for her in Lifesteal is the sort of lack of commitment to real storybeats that we saw in the final stretch of s5, and Kab deserves to be in better stories. She's at the top of the artform of mcrp, and so far Lifesteal has not been. I want Lifesteal to do better, and maybe Kab can bring some of that to the server, but like unless they can reach that level idk if its the right place for her. I just don't want to see her on a server that refused to meet the energy level she brings to things.

Idk man. I'm not that pressed about it, just between seasons is the time to yap cause theres no streams to watch to focus on instead, by july 7th I'll be hyped to see her there. I'm sorry about that prior ask. I will be paying Kaboodle the unfair hater tax in the form of a gifted twitch sub tonight.

first off, thank you for the apology.

i dont have any real bias for lifesteal or kaboodle. i started watching lifesteal this week and im not familiar with kaboodle at all. and the reason ive stayed away from pvp focused mcrp is because it's so heavily male dominated especially lifesteal, ive been making jokes that there's a secret no girls allowed rule since ive heard abt it.

this fandom has a long history of not treating women well and when a woman is a fan-favorite she's really only allowed to be 1 of 3 things, a fighter, a girl-boss, or ur soggy poor wet little meow meow. its just not fair to creators to be essentialized and treated as support for their male peers. made to fit into men's stories instead of getting recognized and respected for their own. and smps themselves have horrible ratios, my favorite is hermitcraft but 5(4?) out of 27 is less then 20 percent! that's terrible! there's so many wonderful women ccs out there yet so little space is made for them. 2(3? idk squiddo's gender) out of 31 is the ratio for lifesteal 6. i dont need to point out how bad that is.

so to get an ask with "I just don't think that the vibes are going to be right with her there" put me really on edge. it's putting the fault on her, and it's ignoring that there was a group of lifestealers who already agreed that she was a good fit because she's on the smp! she's on the team! the difference between "the vibes arent going to be right with her there" and "they can't reach her level" is huge. but you know lifesteal better then me. if you say they cant match her energy i believe you! but if it's true, her and lifesteal dont work out because she did put her all in and they didnt that is still completely different from the thesis of your original ask

ive turned off the reblogs of the other post but i hope moving forward we can be more critical and careful with how we treat our women creators. there's already so little space for them in creator spaces let's not push them out of community spaces too.

[marimbles]

thank u for your takes on the s5 finale. sometimes it genuinely feels like im going crazy when i watch people talk about it being a good wiriting choice… the whole “be nice about everything that happens on screen or shut up” culture that the fandom has cultivated is genuinely becoming a problem imo

I totally feel that. which is part of why I choose to post about it on main sometimes, even though I really don’t want to ruin other people’s enjoyment in the fandom. I might joke about being a hater, but I have been on the other side of this many, many times where I’m just having a good time my favorite cartoon and salters come in and sour my mood with their relentless negativity. So I don’t want to be like that for someone else! But the thing is, as much as I don’t want to rain on people’s parades, MY parade has been rained on, and I have a sneaking suspicion that that is also the case for a lot of people in the fandom who are staying quiet out of a similar hesitation.

if you’re a long-time fan, of course you don’t wanna be a vibe killer, and you definitely don’t want to be seen as a Salter™️ by the rest of the fandom, especially if you historically have been a person who focuses on the positive. But I hope that this fandom is reasonable and open enough to make room for good-faith criticism. Fandom is a community, and I feel like an essential part of a thriving, healthy community is the joint ability to share and engage with opposing perspectives in a respectful way—while recognizing and holding onto the thing that brought you together in the first place.

I think it’s also important not to make unfair assumptions. Lots of the people who currently have mixed or negative feelings about s5 love ML just as much as the people who have positive feelings—in fact, their feelings might be negative because they love ML so much, and the current story direction feels like a disconnect for them. There are also lots of smart, passionate, media-literate people with varying responses to the finale. We have different logical approaches to similar issues. We have different emotional responses. We have different interests and expectations and perspectives and ideas. That’s okay!

I’ll probably share more about my problems with the currently writing direction, but I’ll be sure to tag appropriately so people can filter if they want to. (Staying in your lane is generally a helpful and valid approach if you don’t want to interact with an opposing viewpoint lol.) I’ll also be blocking/filtering where needed, withdrawing when needed, and trying to stay as respectful as I can. For now, I also plan to keep watching, creating, and enjoying what I find to enjoy in the ml fandom. For me, there is space for both enjoyment and criticism in the way I engage with my interests. So this is not going to become a miraculous salt blog lol (although I might come off as salty sometimes because i’m just a dumb little guy with a lot of strong feelings about children’s cartoons and the emotions overtake me sometimes!!). I still want to contribute to the fandom in a positive way, but I also want to be able to speak critically where I see fit on my own blog. Hopefully I can express my criticism in a balanced way and still have fun:)