#because I get it I get that feeling so much and it’s awful but Rand is trying
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The Rand Family just breaks my heart:
“I’m gonna do something good for once, Mama, ok?”
“Ok I believe you, I’ve always believed you. I’m sorry if I’ve been a bad mom, I know I haven’t been the best.”
“Hey-hey you did your best, ok? You did your best. Just, I fucked up, ok? I’m the fuck up. And I’m sorry. Look I’ll see you for dinner and we’ll talk about it, ok? I’ll see you.”
“That’ll mean a lot and please, please-please be there this time.”
“I’m gonna try.”
“See you tonight, Mama!”
“See you tonight, Timothy”
#jrwi#jrwi thoughts#jrwi bitb#Timothy Rand#Donna Rand#as someone who’s back living at home with not really a clear path at the moment this interaction kills me#because I get it I get that feeling so much and it’s awful but Rand is trying#he just saw his sister again since her disappearance and he can finally do something good#he can try to get Rachel back#at the very least he can try to make it to dinner which is all his mom wants
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I am beyond sick of the "the show is doing Rand and the Dragon dirty" opinions. There's this argument that the show hasn't shown what it really means to be the Dragon which is a problem cause it's two seasons in. As if that's something that doesn't really start getting addressed in TSR? That's definitely gonna be a s3 plot point now that he actually is publicly the Dragon. Also that "show onlies don't get what the point of Rand is. He didn't really do much up to this point especially in both finales." As if he didn't kill Ishy twice and take out like 12 Seanchan singlehandedly? The disrespect. A lot of this is coming from bitterness from book fans seeing some show fans are hating on Rand cause they think Egwene should be the dragon which is somehow on Rafe cause Eg is his favorite character so of course to them that means he's gonna give Egwene everything and screw over everyone else 🙄
yeah!! it's especially ironic because in THE LITERAL LAST BATTLE, egwene is leading the physical/magical fighting out on the frontlines while rand is doing a 1v1 faceoff of philosophy & ethics with ishy. aka exactly what's happened in both season finales! they are co-protagonists and these are their respective roles! egwene is the warrior hero and rand is the philosopher hero. methinks that it's actually these readers who don't get the point of rand, if they think that rand spending the finales showing moral strength in the face of the shadow is less The Point Of Him than having cool swordfights or channeling explosions.
the show has also been showing that female channelers have training institutions in place whereas male ones do not, and showing the consequences of that. hence egwene is much better-positioned than rand to pull off or be involved in major channeling feats early on (1x08: has little training herself but can contribute her supernova strength to a circle because a trained female channeler is there to lead it; 2x08: received enough training at the white tower and forcible training with the seanchan to do major channeling feats by herself). meanwhile rand is out here functioning off a fragmented 2-page excerpt from "male channeling for dummies", so he is nowhere near as capable as egwene at this point in time. that contrast is logical and it is deliberate, but i guess when this group of rand stans says "the show needs to show why it's bad to be a male channeler" they just mean "we want to see Poor Perfect Rand getting bullied by Awful Women Who Are Wrong" rather than "we want to see a major capability disparity between rand and egwene to reflect the impact of one group having institutionalized training at their disposal and the other not".
plus, the show is taking the forsaken and the threat they pose MUCH more seriously than the books did. in the show, while they're still entertaining and fun to watch, they also feel like genuinely terrifying and powerful villains, whereas in the books many of them felt like cartoon villains who are better at providing comedic or melodramatic value than actual threat. and none fits the latter description better than asmodean, our resident Most Pathetic Forsaken. in the books he was always just a clown loser to me and never once did i consider him a credible threat, ergo, it didn't take much to convince me that rand should take him on as a teacher. in the show, if he gets a similar glowup as ishy and lanfear so that he does feel like he poses serious danger and is scary, then rand will need a VERY GOOD reason to agree to take lessons from him and the audience will need a very good reason to believe that it's worth the risk (especially because iirc lanfear is the one to suggest that asmo train him, and lanfear ALSO being a much more credible threat in the show is another reason why we'll REALLY need to be given reasons to feel that rand listening to her in this instance is a calculated risk rather than batshit stupidity). hence, it was crucial for s2 to do exactly what it did: show how badly rand is struggling without training and how few good options he has for teachers (i.e. absolutely zero options as of the end of the season since logain was a bust).
also the "show-onlys thinking egwene should be the dragon" phenomenon comes from the fact that, as of right now in this early stage, egwene is a go-getter gifted kid teacher's pet (affectionate) who yearns to be part of The Plot whereas rand is a cottagecore househusband being dragged into The Plot kicking and screaming, so OF COURSE right now egwene seems like the better candidate for the chosen one who has the fate of the world in their hands! right from the start she's been much more of a Gets Shit Done person than rand, and that was absolutely true in the early books as well even if they never explicitly raised the idea of egwene being TDR instead of him. but that doesn't mean rand won't grow into a Gets Shit Done person now that he's accepted the responsibility of being TDR and it doesn't mean show-onlys won't grow to agree that he's the right choice for TDR. or even if they don't, who cares? boy, i bet this crew who's spent 20 years declaring "rand is a saint who's done nothing wrong ever in his life and egwene is a worse villain than the forsaken and seanchan" into an echo chamber of like-minded fans isn't coping well with seeing show-onlys not share all their opinions. they got so used to being the majority opinion for 20 years that they cannot handle seeing other people now have different takes! i can't wait to see them have a collective aneurysm when show-onlys think that Malewife Supreme Gawyn is the superior trakand boy over Alt-Right Dipshit Galad (and show-onlys WILL think this, i've planted that seed and i will see the harvest).
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USM characters dating an Avengers daughter
- you knew his about his not-so-subtle crush on your dad when you first met, and decided not to tell him
- you adore him but whose to say he won't just use you as an excuse to hang out with your philanthropist billionaire playboy dad?
- but you'd been dating awhile, and had met Aunt May (who adored you), so why were you avoiding the subject of your dad?
- that was until you were fixing your suit and Peter walked in, gave you a kiss and offered to help. You forgot the little engraving your dad left you on your suit, "be careful and kick ass, love dad"
- "aw, that's sweet," he smiled, "when can I meet him?"
- "you. . .already have," you said, trying to gage his reaction, "he made me my first suit. . .and yours"
- it took him a few seconds but then it all clicked. His super amazing genius girlfriend whose dad bought her a Porsche at fifteen was Tony Stark
- his idol
- "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, but you idolize him and I was scared and-"
- he understood - completely shocked but understood
- he does ask if that means he can drive the Porsche now tho
- you and your mom? Best friends
- danny and your mom? Not so much
- being the daughter of Black Widow herself came with a lot of trust, and many secrets so you never intended on dating because of it
- but then this handsome motherfucker gentleman comes along and you're on cloud nine
- you told him you have a complicated past and he respected that, waiting until you were ready
- but he's Iron Fist, King of K'un L'un and an Agent of SHIELD so he took notice when you'd disappear from team sessions
- he admits he got curious and followed one day, and there you were: training with Black Widow herself, and doing it flawlessly
- and at the end of it, his suspicions were confirmed once you hugged and said, "thanks, mom"
- "So are you gonna introduce us or does he always do that?" She made DIRECT eye contact with him and it honestly sent a shiver down his spine
- he introduced himself, remaining calm and collected, which impressed her but she also knows that people can hide how they rlly feel
- she GRILLED HIM
- "where'd you grow up?" "K'un L'un" "who are your parents?" "Heather and Wendell Rand" "if you're a billionaire, why do you wear five dollar flip flops?"
- you knew she approved of him, but she liked to keep him on his toes
- "beloved, I love you, but your mother scares me"
- oh how does one BEGIN to explain to their bullet proof boyfriend that their dad is Thor?
- he knew you had to be other worldly, and not just because he thinks you're a Goddess you accidentally struck him with lightning one time
- you wanted to keep it a secret for a bit before the Almighty Thor comes in and demands to know Luke's intentions
- "babe, why is Thor asking me when I'm proposing?"
- being a God came with perks, so Thor knew not long after you guys started dating that something was amiss with his daughter
- (you stopped remembering to being him poptarts and he got upset)
- "how do I know if he is worthy of your hand?"
- "He makes me laugh :) and he's bulletproof so. . ."
- they get along great
- his first trip to Asgard was a bit intimidating but seeing as you're half human, your mom reminded him that love between you guys was possible
- "I recommend a traditional Asgardian ceremony-"
- "dad we're sixteen"
- o h b o i
- talk about overprotective father
- you're a minute late, who were you with? What were you doing? I want their names, addresses, social security-
- if you guessed Winter Soldier a.k.a Bucky then you guessed right
- he knew something was up the moment you two lingered for a bit after training, and watching from the top deck this man SPOTTED your hands brush and asked Fury for Novas' personal file
- but knowing your dad, you were actually able to keep your relationship a secret for two months before he put the pieces together himself
- you both were out on a picnic date, Sam having made a cute cake, and a very threatening man with a metal arm came up sat down, smiled at him, held his hand out and said, "Samuel Alexander, sixteen, last Nova, grew up in Carefree, and 5'8, correct?"
- you were LIVID
- meanwhile Sam was like "omg he knows my name :0!!"
- you had told Sam long before dating that your dad was extremely overprotective, but Sam being Sam was just excited that his badass girlfriend has a badass dad!!
- and Buckys like "wtf this kid isn't even remotely terrified"
- Sam asks question after question, and it even turns into a third wheel - as in they're bonding and you're just there
- Bucky likes him but still tries to be somewhat intimidating, being the infamous Winter Soldier and all
- "Babe. . .baabe. . .when's your dad gonna be back? I wanna ask him if he likes my new helmet look"
- so like where do I even start
- you and Ava had been dating for a couple of months before she started to realize that she hadn't met your family
- you told her that they were just really intense and you didn't wanna scare her
- but who could scare White Tiger? So she insisted and you said "your funeral"
- also how does one explain to their partner that they technically shouldn't exist because your dad is a robot and your mom is a witch?
- your brothers LOVE her
- Billy and Tommy immediately recognized Ava, seeing as they'd work with the team from time to time and said "ooh our sisters dating the smart one"
- and Ava like, "babe I think I kicked one of their asses in training"
- Wanda adores Ava, she thinks she's good for you and might as well have someone mentally stable in your life
- Meanwhile in Avas' mind, "omg omg her mom is Scarlet Witch, her dad is Vision - wait is that why she's so smart? Is my girlfriend a robot?"
- no you're not a robot
- Vision likes her, and he knew about you two before you two even started dating. Why? You rambled about White Tiger during dinner once and Vision CLOCKED that look in your eyes
- needless to say, Sunday dinners with your family are now mandatory with Ava
#ultimate spiderman#ultimate spiderman x reader#ultimate spiderman imagine#peter parker x reader#sam alexander#sam alexander x reader#nova marvel#iron fist x reader#luke cage#white tiger#usm x reader
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ILY FP 258
I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.
Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.
I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!
That's enough rambling, let's jump in.
There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.
But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.
A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.
This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.
I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.
There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.
As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.
Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.
And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.
How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).
He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.
He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.
And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;
For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.
I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...
Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.
But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.
I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.
I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.
And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.
Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.
#ILY Brainrot#ILY FP#ILY Spoilers#I Love Yoo#Kousuke Hirahara#Shinhye#idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore#and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name#so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol#alas#anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March#literally said 'It's all downhill from here'#which I take to mean til the timeskip#BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______;#i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it#Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____;#I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop#i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl#to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace#all the opportunities he lost#the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted#he lost himself in the process#or maybe he never even got to know himself#i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad#that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked#so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of#FUCKING DEVASTATED#I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS
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Reading BioShock: Rapture (Part 6: Frank Fontaine: Funny He-He Clown Man)
<- Part 5: Three Old Men Jerking Their Milk Sticks || Back to the Beginning || Part 7: Shadow Eve ->
By Chapter 2, Shirley finally introduces a few antagonists—Fontaine, as well as G-men doing the world’s worst surveillance.
If you’re hoping for tension,
stop.
hope is a lie and this book is its grave
I Would Like to Feel Anything Please
This chapter opens on Sullivan trying to shake a G-man and failing. Apparently it doesn’t matter because he goes ahead and meets with a character called Ruben Greavy, head engineer for the Wales brothers. I’m assuming that Greavy was originally the city designer before Wales & Wales had to be worked in.
I was most interested in the G-man because I keep looking for antagonists. Ryan has a goal, right? In literally any story anywhere, there would be obstacles the protag has to overcome. One might reasonably conclude that government institutions are Andrew Ryan’s greatest foes. They have the power to stop him through legislation and force: it doesn’t matter how much money you have if your enemy can mobilize the fucking Army.
Who else has the power to stop Ryan? Probably other industry tycoons. In Ayn Rand’s fiction, company presidents commonly ally with each other and the government to stymie the goals of her Ubermensch.
Although present, Fontaine is a small-time crook and motivated in other directions and is thus a non-issue.
As it turns out, I shouldn’t have been excited to see the G-men. After info-dumping a thousand things we either already know or could read in more interesting ways, Sullivan says this:
“Maybe they’ll get a warrant after all. I don’t think they’d find anything illegal.”
So you’re saying there’s no threat.
We are in Chapter 2, on page thirty-fucking-nine, and THERE ARE STILL NO STAKES.
But Preferably Not Indignation
At this point, it’s not about not knowing who Ryan’s enemies are. Functionally, I don’t think they exist. While Shirley invokes entire government institutions, like the FBI or IRS, they literally have nothing to do and no reason to be there.
Moreover, the Olympian—Ryan’s yacht—is namedropped. Which is when I realized that it was being used as a cargo ship.
Wait a fucking minute.
Look, I don’t know shit about boats, but can you really use a yacht like that? Like to ship big ol city parts? Why would you do that? I mean there’s a certain poetic quality in, say, stripping the guts out of your pleasure yacht to bend it to base labor, but we all know Shirley didn’t think that far.
(grumbles to self. angrily notates “research midcentury yacht models and cargo ships”)
Salty — Today at 10:22 AM No, yachts can’t be used like that watchword — Today at 10:23 AM "I found this out in 1 minute Shirley" thank you I figured the design mattered Salty — Today at 10:23 AM It does You’d need some kind of crane to lower things into the water and there’s no way a yacht could take that shit without being built not like a yacht
So it turns out that Andrew Ryan has sent his chief of security personally down to the docks to confirm the time it leaves like he’s some kind of little messenger drone. Somewhere in the proceeding info-dump, Sullivan tells Greavy to leave with all of the building supplies in his ship as soon as possible in case the G-men want to raid them, even though there’s nothing illegal going on. Their reasoning is that they don’t want the US government to learn even a scrap of information about what they’re doing.
Or what? What would they fucking do? There are no laws about shipping out giant city parts. I suppose it could be framed as Ryan being paranoid, but Shirley always explains what characters are doing to the nth degree, and there’s no such explanation here.
Also, and I don’t know why this isn’t being used: the world was fucking flattened after World War II. Shipping building supplies makes a lot of fucking sense. Just tell the gubmint that you’re selling them to France or something. “Aw, yeah, Uncle Sam. You know how much the French like glass tubes. Gonna put all the filthy tourists in there like hamsters so they don’t touch anything. When you get troublemakers you just close the bulkheads and fill them with water.”
Besides, all you have to do is tell the gubmint what you’re shipping off with. It’s for records to be checked against the port that receives the shipment to make sure there’s no funny business. What I don’t remember is if you have to declare what port you’re going to—I suspect that would be the case—but I mean. LIE? This is your life’s work. LIE.
Finally, New York is one of the busiest and biggest ports in the nation. Why would anyone be looking that closely at one more cargo ship? Paperwork back then was even more annoying and difficult to grok than it is today. Imagine the volume for a port like New York’s.
Just fucking LIE.
The real point of this scene is so there can be an exposition dump. Shirley couldn’t just send a messenger who didn’t know what was going on—he needed two people who were In the Know. The important part isn’t entertainment, it’s information: unnecessary and uninteresting exposition about Rapture’s political and economic goals, why they’re shipping supplies the way they are, and the US government, all despite the characters involved being intimately knowledgeable of the situation. Also, they’re about 75% through with the entire escapade, so if this conversation ever occurred at all, you’d think it would be months in the past. The G-man is an attempt at escalation, but then Shirley immediately de-escalates by saying he’s powerless.
So, just to reiterate:
Sullivan tries to shake a tail, fails, and doesn’t care because it doesn’t matter. He shows up at a ship containing building materials for Rapture, meets Greavy, and they lecture each other back and forth about subjects they should already know to summarize a bunch of events we should have seen. As an afterthought, Sullivan tells Greavy he showed up in person to confirm the time the ship leaves instead of calling because the phones are probably tapped. Sullivan will leave before the ship leaves so he won’t actually know the time to confirm with his boss. This particular ship is one of multiple ships and represents only one of multiple shipments—there’s nothing remarkably special about it. They’re not in any danger in any way and there’s nothing the USA can do legally to stop them. End scene.
How the hell is anything this bad.
How.
There should really be like twenty chapters for every one of BioShock: Rapture’s, each explaining how we got here. Because instead of sharing the exciting cat-and-mouse shit, Shirley writes about the outcomes where everything is settled.
This is how our reflections write in the mirror universe.
I have read fanfiction by fans of every age and fluency level and ability. Most of it was trash, but it could be excused because they were young or new or amateur writers, and even then, they’re often excited about a concept and trying really hard and might have some neat thoughts to share.
This… this is on a whole different level.
Writing Is Hard (and Caring Is Harder)
The reason for this is, of course, that Shirley would have had to research several different subjects to write about them in any depth, and time was of the essence. In fact, I am now 100% convinced that everything here is done in a mad effort to save effort, which sounds as delightful as it is.
The elements he thinks to research are absurd. I am now sure that he doesn’t know how to rank research subjects by importance. He does not research, say, the histories of the IRS or the FBI or corporate espionage. No, he researches “how to install a toilet” and “historical boxing.” He’s most often focused on physical processes or what things look like—not on what people do or why they do them.
I have a new bet for you: that each chapter will be like a little push-pin in a plot point. None of them will be married meaningfully to any of the other plot points. They will be little islands in time and rely on the reader to insert connective tissue. This will essentially be a disjointed short story collection, except without any tension whatsoever, because they’re just summaries of larger stories that we never see.
Shrug
Let’s contrast this burning sludge puddle with a different burning sludge puddle: Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. This is a fitting contrast as Rapture is a callback to Galt’s Gulch.
The protagonist, Dagny Taggart, discovers Galt’s Gulch (libertarian paradise and Aryan summer camp) in Part 3, roughly 60% through the book. In my paperback, Part 3 begins on page 643, and the story ends on page 1,069 (nice). The font is like 6 points. I can’t stress enough how dense this book is.
Rand spends ungodly amounts of time and detail lingering on her enemies—politicians and company presidents and whiny family members. She waxes eloquent on the destructive side of selflessness. Over the course of an eternity, she displays in slow, evolving detail how that world fucks her characters over, despite all their best efforts. And oh—they struggle. They fight!
When Dagny ends up in Galt’s Gulch, staring straight into the face of Objectivist Jesus, she has been through hell, and it feels like a relief: like she’s finally free.
Galt’s Gulch was not a given—it was a process.
Rapture deserves the same build-up. The build-up is the story, you understand?
BioShock: Rapture is like a romance novel that skips all its character building and sex sequences to leap straight into post-coital snuggling. It’s not half as interesting or meaningful if you don’t include all of the pining and rage and frustration and explicit dicking.
Funny He-He Clown Man
Oh, Frank Fontaine. They done did u dirty.
Hey, hypothetical reader, I’m gonna ask you something: what do you think when you hear "Frank Fontaine"? Do you think of a funny little clown man who changes into costumes every ten seconds like a malicious Bugs Bunny? Because that’s what we have here. And, like everything else in this shapeless abortion, I hate it.
Generally, when I write a character who’s not my own, I say: “What is most interesting about this guy?” And I go for some neat character trait or behaviorism and then expand. Everything about that person fractals off of their base personality, psychology, behaviorisms, internal worlds, and past experiences.
Of course, that character doesn’t exist in a vacuum, so you know what else I do? I look at how they’re utilized in the source material, I ask what exactly the source material is, and I examine what the story was originally trying to do.
Characters Are Limited
Since the Beginning of Time, it has been popular in fandoms to act performatively enraged about how each and every character in a piece of media is not fully-fleshed out and explored to the last quark of the final atom.
First, that’s not how narratives work. Stories have to be limited by their natures: we are limited to this time, this space, this person, these concerns, these events. Material can only stretch so far, and characters can only intersect so long. It’s impossible to touch on every single concern and detail of your world, and if you attempt it, you’ll carefully hand-craft an unreadable clusterfuck.
Second, a character is not a person. A character is a slave to the narrative. They are an ingredient and a tool. Even if they’re the complete focal point of the story, you cannot possibly fully explore them. They do not have full human lives or sapience. They only have what they are given. As inhuman objects and creative constructs, they are also not worthy of the same respect as a real human being. can you believe I have to say that
Third, it’s not important to have a fully-rounded character because that’s not always what the story requires. There are all kinds of different stories outside of character-driven ones—for example, focal points might be on themes, ideas, settings, or vast periods of time, and not on people at all; sometimes the narrative as a whole is more important than the characters inside of them; sometimes the style and POV limits how much we can know; sometimes it’s simply more entertaining or informative to omit certain information; and so on.
There are many ways to be interesting, and there are many ways to string along a series of plot points, and characters are just more tools in the toolbox. Instead of raking a narrative across the coals for not meeting your standards, it’s far more sensible to ask what the narrative is and what it’s trying to do, then judge it according to the standards it was trying to meet.
The Fountainhead
Sometimes a character works best if we don’t know that much about them. In my opinion, Frank Fontaine is one of these. He has a limited efficacy and only in specific situations.
How is Fontaine used in BioShock? Sparingly, that’s how. And when he finally shows up as ringleader, it’s to head what is arguably the weakest part of the game. Suddenly you have to look straight at him for a couple of hours, and he’s just not that interesting under a spotlight. He’s a small-time crook who won the lottery; what made him interesting was the Atlas con and his friction with Andrew Ryan, and both are over. He’s not that big of a deal in and of himself. He doesn’t really have any power other than ADAM—and of course, that’s the point.
Fontaine is not a character with an arc. He can’t change and he wouldn’t work very well if he did. In fact, he’s not really a character at all—he’s an anthropomorphized human quality. One of the alternate meanings of “frank” is “honesty” or “truth”; “Fontaine,” or “fountain,” probably refers to Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead.
“What is the fountainhead—the source—of the Ubermensch?” Rand asks.
Levine replied: “What is the fountainhead of Objectivism?”
If Objectivism got everything it wanted, what would its world really look like? Because it wouldn’t be Galt’s Gulch or Rapture in its heyday.
Frank Fontaine is the ultimate culmination of Objectivist theory—not Andrew Ryan. The guy who wins doesn’t have to have any laudable moral qualities at all—all he has to be is the strongest or most cunning. The best idea or product doesn’t necessarily succeed because Objectivism isn’t about quality—you can just get steamrolled into bullshit because some company has more resources and social currency than the innovative little guy. If all you value is strength, all you will receive is the strong, and that strongman does not have any incentive to be anything other than a flesh-tearing, blood-drinking brute.
One of BioShock’s best qualities is how it just lets Fontaine sort of exist quietly in the background, like the faint, tense hum of an electric wire. You see evidence of him. You see what people think of him. But you never actually see him. The mystery is part of his power. Pre-twist, you only hear his voice once, and it’s probably utilized as a red herring in case you started to doubt Atlas’ identity. After all, Atlas is Irish, and Fontaine is from New York or something! You can trust Atlas!
But Can You Trust Shirley?
what the fuck do you think
I thought of just ending here and letting you figure it out but I believe this deserves just a little explication.
In Chapter 2, Fontaine—going by the surname Gorland—waltzes in, front and center, and with all the flare of a supervillain descending from on high, steals some loser’s shitty-ass bar.
“Whatta hell ya mean you’re the owner, Gorland?” … “…You’re about to sign this bar over to me, is whatta hell.” … Merton stared at the papers, eyes widening. “That was you? Hudson Loans? Nobody told me that was—” “A loan is a loan. What I seem to recall is, you were drunk when you signed it. Needed some money to pay off your gambling vig. A big fucking vig it was too, Merton!”
Fontaine got a guy drunk and made him sign something. Is this supposed to impress me?
I cut a ton of needless bullshit out and I still didn’t cut as much as I should have. (A “vig” is a gambling debt, so “gambling” is redundant, among other things.) What shitty dialogue this is. I told you, McDonagh isn’t the only one you should be cringing at. Shirley is terrified you won’t understand him so he makes sure to explain every point three times over.
When Levine writes “CIA spook” or “das vedanya,” it’s not to prove his work. It’s there because it makes sense there. When Shirley uses a specific term, it’s to show off. It’s like a little kid running up to show you that he finished a question on his homework. Except he does it every time he finishes something. And he’s always wrong somehow.
“Vig” in particular got me.
“Vig, you know! Yeah I looked it up! Vig! A gambling debt! Bet you’ve never heard that before! I researched! See! Vig!”
I will find your thesaurus, tear each page out one by one, and eat them in front of you without breaking eye contact. You will see me when you get up at midnight for a drink of water, slowly crunching in the dark. When you call the police I will evaporate. All that will be left is the hardcover, tented over a single dead roach pinned to the floor. At night you will hear me whispering from the walls: “haaaaaaaack”
Cynicism, Nihilism, Gnosticism, Humanism
Frank Fontaine is the most cynically written of all the characters thus far. He’s the one with the most obvious To-Do List.
“What do I need to establish about Frank Fontaine?” Shirley asked himself. “Let’s see: he is a conman. He is a great actor. He needs to find out about Rapture and get there somehow. He’s a super-awful guy. I should establish his background, motivations, and how he learned his skills. I know! He lived in a vaudeville theater!”
All right, all right. Let me be fair. I would bet money that Levine is the source of that background bit—BioShock features a million stages for a reason that I will someday write about at length—but god I hate it. I was in one-act play and I have watched hundreds of films but it doesn’t mean I know how to act. Isn’t it enough that Fontaine learns to manipulate others, perhaps out of a sense of childish self-preservation before evolving into predation? Does it have to be a big show?
…yes, I guess. Fuck. Because gnosticism.
Gnosticism is one of those BioShock themes that I least expected in this novel because it is a pure thought exercise and exists on several metaphorical levels. I’m sure Shirley has been informed of its existence, but we all know how he’ll handle it (he can’t lol). All you need to know about gnosticism is that it’s a philosophy that believes the physical environment is a broken copy of a higher reality. Even though the physical realm is fucked, it can still point toward a higher truth. In other words, you can learn from the physical world’s half-truths to achieve gnosis—knowledge of that ultimate spiritual truth—and thereby ascend to that higher spiritual plane.
But Ken Levine has a different take on ascension.
According to Levine, you learn by going through the horrors of life, but the truth is not some beatific vision. There is no god and there is no better world: there is Only Man. All you learn is that human beings hurt each other, and that they won’t ever stop, and to survive, you must go to war yourself—whether you like it or not. In the process, you struggle toward an understanding of how to make a better world, but there’s a catch: you have committed all kinds of harm out of ignorance. By committing that harm, you have ensured that the damage goes on… and on… and on.
No human being can avoid this.
Nobody can just TELL you how to make a better world—it’s far too big and complicated a place, and it’s always changing. You have to experience it for yourself to understand how it works. That means you can’t take your knowledge to others, either—because not only can future generations not understand you, your own knowledge is highly individual, and the world is continually changing so that you’re always one step behind. Future generations have to make their own mistakes in their own unique settings to figure out how best to live. In the process, they fuck up the future in a whole new way.
Everyone thinks they’re going through hell looking for heaven, but it turns out it’s always been about this fucked-up world and this fucked-up present with its fucked-up people. All you can do is your best with what you know.
The way Levine illustrates this is that art and artifice performatively point toward that ultimate higher truth: there is no escape, and we are destined to hurt ourselves and future generations in an unbreakable cycle. BioShock is existential horror at its heart, and it’s the best kind—the humanist kind.
So, thematically speaking, Fontaine being a literal performer, acting for our education and elevation, is correct. If you pay attention to the game, every character functions this way. Everything is a performance for your benefit as player. I have to admit that it makes sense. Plus, other than working retail, entertainment is a great way to learn how to hate the human race.
I still hate it. I want Fontaine to be more grounded, I guess. Every time I imagine him in a theater I cackle a little.
Cardboard People
Returning to BioShock: Rapture, the first problem with Fontaine’s section is that he doesn’t feel like a person. I don’t get a sense of his past, even when it’s explicitly mentioned. I bring up Fontaine’s past because people do what they do based on a complicated play of psychological need and lessons learned to survive past environments.
Alas: Fontaine is a one-note mustache-twirler. He wants to get money why? To get more money. Not to survive, not to defy the privations of his past, not to take vengeance on an uncaring world, not to bang girls, not to buy cool shit. He just fucks people up because that’s what he does.
Also, despite being a petty criminal, he seems above and beyond the law somehow. I’m not afraid for him when that G-man from earlier walks into his bar.
…oh, for fuck’s sake, that’s still my optimism talking. I keep expecting this book to work like a book. This thing is the hairy knot you find at the bottom of a drain.
Anyway, the second problem with Fontaine is that the entire story works to his benefit, and it’s immediately ludicrous. Instead of giving Fontaine problems to solve—and giving Andrew Ryan ways to work against him—you know, like real human beings with brains—Shirley just throws information and idiots at Fontaine constantly.
Allow me to illustrate.
Frank Fontaine gets his bar by drugging a guy who is dumb with or without intoxication. Fontaine wanted this bar so he could listen into bar patrons’ conversations for hot tips on gambling and grifts. When does this pay off?
guess
If you said, “Immediately!”, Fuck You! You are correct!
[Fontaine] wiped at an imaginary spill on the bar, edging closer. “But can we count on Steele?” said the one some called Twitchy. He twitched his pencil-thin mustache. “Thinks he’s going to challenge the Bomber next year…” “So let him challenge; he can lose one fight. He needs the payoff, needs it big,” said the chunkier one of the two, “Snort” Bianchi—with a snort.
is this a joke
This is one place I am not sure of Shirley’s intentions. Is it supposed to be bad? Is it supposed to be funny? Is he making fun of me or is he just dumb enough to think this is clever?
What I think this dialogue and these characters represent is Shirley’s attempt to complement BioShock's audio diaries. Again, we hit that divide between the ways stories are best told through different mediums. BioShock’s audio diaries are the literary equivalents of bullion cubes. That’s because you experience dialogue sparingly in a video game, and most content is wrapped up in gameplay, so you’ve got to get your whole idea across as quickly and densely as possible.
It’s for this reason that every BioShock character is an outsized caricature. In the same way that Fontaine is a symbol of Objectivism in its purest form (let's face it, the fountainhead of Man with a capital M), McDonagh is Andrew Ryan’s conscience, and Andrew Ryan is Man falling for the lies of the demiurge. Jasmine Jolene—whom we will see in Chapter 3—represents untenable fantasy.
Oh, and Shadow Eve.
Y’all wanna talk about Shadow Eve? I do. There's only like three of us reading this and I'm counting myself so I'm assuming the vote is unanimous.
Long story short, Shirley doesn’t understand the differences between video game narratives and literary ones, and this fact is probably going to hurt me until the end of this entire broken endeavor.
Shirley also feels like he needs to show Fontaine at work at all times. In his mind, Fontaine is nothing but cons 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Shirley only knows what people do; he doesn’t know why they do anything.
In any case, Fontaine shoos off the Great Value Mobsters, for he has spotted our G-man from earlier, a man named Voss. It appears that Voss is looking for informations.
[Voss] leaned across the bar so he could be heard over the noise. “Word on the street is, this here’s your joint now.”
Originally, I had been reading this quickly, only to run into this paragraph and get terribly confused. Like damn, word travels fast, it’s been 30 minutes and everybody already knows this is Fontaine’s bar?
I had to go back and re-read. The passage of time is suggested somewhere in the info-dump that tells you everything about Fontaine instead of growing him organically over a generous period. It’s done terribly but at least it happened.
Voss crooked a finger, leaned even farther across the bar. Gorland hesitated—then he leaned close. Voss spoke right in his ear. “You hear anything about some kind of big, secret project happening down at the docks? Maybe bankrolled by Andrew Ryan? North Atlantic project? Millions of bucks flowing out to sea…?” “Nah,” Gorland said…. “What kinda deal’s he up to?” “That’s something we don’t… something you don’t need to know.”
haaaaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaack
In any case, Fontaine has it in mind that if there are millions of dollars flowing out to sea, he wants in on it somehow.
He didn’t hear anything about Ryan for a couple of days, but one day he heard a drunk blond chippie muttering about “Mr. Fatcat Ryan… goddamn him…” as she frantically waved her empty glass at him. “Hey wherezmuh drinkie?” demanded the blonde.
oh…………. oh this is a hate crime
Have you ever heard of Born Yesterday (1950)? Go watch a clip and listen to the actress, Judy Holliday. Her voice is what I hear in my mind. Except in Born Yesterday the protag is a human being and not a one-dimensional cutout with tits. And Born Yesterday is perfectly representative of its time so the fact it’s outclassing a writer in 2011 is shameful. The only question I have left about this book is, “Who cannot dunk on John Shirley?”
Now I think I understand Shirley a little better. I’m going to give him the benefit of a doubt and assume that we are looking at this crying woman through Fontaine’s eyes, and that this is not reality, but his fucked-up perspective.
You know how I was talking about the relationship between third-person limited POV and bedrock reality? This is one of those breakdowns. In third-person limited, we can see inside of one person, but nobody else. They occupy a world limited by their bias, but that world operates outside of them according to its own logic, which our Subject may or may not be able to comprehend truthfully. There should be clear divisions between what the Subject knows and perceives versus what is happening outside of them. When outside characters speak, or outside events occur, the reader should be assured that they really occurred in the ways they are shared. Otherwise there’s nothing solid to latch onto.
But I’ve got to be honest: I don’t know if this is intentional or not. I have never questioned point-of-view this way in my life. How much have I taken for granted in my tiny span? How do you learn to do something like this so, so badly?
This is John Shirley. We taught him wrong, as a joke.
Of course he wears all black and a goofy hat. Then he sucked all the contrast out until he was clothed in void. Does he think he’s a warlock
Long story short, this POV shit feels like madness to me. Should prose cause seasickness? The way this book is fucked up is one of the most unique experiences I’ve ever had. Although I’m learning a great deal from it, I also hate this experience. And I hate John Shirley.
“I’ll have a Scotch if I can’t have my man back,” she sobbed, “that’s what I’ll have! Dead, dead, dead, and no one from that Ryan crew is saying why.”
Ms. Ogyny the Exposition Whore has managed to interest me despite my deep loathing. I spy a mystery!
Coincidentally, this is why Fontaine’s sections tend to be the most interesting: he’s actively trying to figure things out where other characters just kind of hover in time and space.
New Reasons for Me to Feel an Unearned Sense of Superiority
Some of Shirley’s idiosyncrasies start popping out here because I’ve had some time to suffer under his patterns, much like a player getting their ass handed to them under an Elden Ring boss. For example, he sticks dialogue inside of descriptive paragraphs, and he thinks “went on” is an acceptable dialogue tag. I thought that was a fucking error until it happened the second time.
(✿◠‿◠)ノ.❀。• *₊°。I still think it is a fucking error ❀。• *₊°。 ❀
In my opinion, dialogue can be stuck with a descriptive scene, but it should be limited to the speaker’s actions alone. The implication is that the speaker is performing an action while speaking. Shirley will just slap dialogue into a paragraph with multiple actors and let the reader sort it out.
The reason why this is a problem is that it becomes questionable who the speaker is until you find a subject-verb or infer from context clues. Also, the longer the descriptive sequence, the more you have to think about the time taken to say the sentence as the character is performing the action.
You do not want your work to feel like this:
This is where I noted another little idiosyncrasy: every time Shirley does any research, he regurgitates it almost wholly undigested. Here, in an example from the prologue, he discusses the outfit of a Red Army soldier:
“Father,” Andrei whispers, in Russian, turning to look at a tall lean man in a long green coat with red epaulets, a black hat, a rifle slung over his shoulder. “Is that man one of the Red Guard?”
“in Russian” no shit
“Oh, that’s perfectly reasonable,” you may protest.
Then how about this sequence in Chapter 2, where he talks about boxers:
The talk at the crowded bar tonight was full of how Joe Louis, the Brown Bomber, back from the war with a pocketful of nothing and a big tax debt, was going to defend his world heavyweight title against Billy Conn. And how the retired Jack Johnson, first Negro to win the heavyweight champ title, had died two days before in a car accident. None of which was what Gorland needed to know.
(✿◠‿◠)ノ.❀。• *₊°。then why the fuck did you mention it ❀。• *₊°。 ❀
My chief complaint about the first set of descriptors is the list of prepositional phrases and weak adjectives and verbs. It’s a lot of talk with no power or aim. Additionally, Shirley just wrote about a dozen other people while mentioning their appearances so briefly that they might as well have been plywood standees, so a thoughtfully colorized soldier jumps out like a cat in a shitty horror film. That said, if you’re not a picky bastard, it may not bother you.
But the second one is outright incorrect. None of these historical people or subjects have anything to do with Fontaine’s current aims, nor with what he does next. It’s just there to prove that Shirley did research. If anything, it shows Shirley’s weakness: he doesn’t know how to smoothly blend research into his work.
This description is like stirring your cookie batter three times and calling it done, then spooning out a big lump of baking powder.
Shirley just put that shit in the oven.
“I just want my Irving back,” she said, her head sagging down over the drink. Lucky the song coming on the juke was a Dorsey and Sinatra crooner, soft enough he could make her out. “Jus’ wannim back.” He absentmindedly poured a couple more drinks for the sailors at her side, their white caps cocked rakishly as they argued over bar dice and tossed money at him. “What became of the unfortunate soul?” Gorland asked, pocketing the money and wiping the bar. “Lost at sea was he?” She gawped at him. “How’d you know that, you a mind reader?” Gorland winked. “A little fishy told me.”
gross
God, this paragraph is ugly and I hate it. Shirley splits the lady’s dialogue, part of which butts up against Fontaine and two sailors and causes a moment of cognitive dissonance. Shirley is ridiculously specific as to the song playing when “soft crooner” would have sufficed. The true note of interest—the data that Fontaine is sniffing out—skitters around the outsized imagery like a stupid cartoon creature.
Shirley does have a strength, and it’s in visuals. I can see and feel and smell this bar. Unfortunately, his visuals are static and progress little to nothing. Also, from what I can tell, it’s his only skill, unless causing headaches is desirable.
Also, before I leave this part, I want to clarify that there’s no problem with mentioning historical events, organizations, music, speech, people, etc, in your historical novel, and in fact you should, but if that description is at the expense of your plot, you have erred.
In any case, Fontaine asks this unfortunate caricature of womanhood what happened to her beloved. Shirley writes a long and embarrassing paragraph of dialogue that cannot end soon enough, and when it does end, it’s like this:
“Well, I went over to the place that hired him, Seaworthy Construction they was called—and they threw me out! Treated me like I was some kinda tramp! All I wanted was what was comin’ to me… I came out of South Jersey, and let me tell you, we get what we’re owed ’cause…” She went on in that vein for a while, losing the Ryan thread.
You lazy fucking bastard.
This is not the first time Shirley has ended a paragraph like this, either.
A Visual Depiction of the Dismount
Look, there are graceful ways to ease out of dialogue. Shirley doesn’t care what they are. Dialogue stands between him and a description of a “zoot-suiter [putting] a bebop number on the juke.” Do I care about that, sir? I do not. How about Andrew Ryan? How about Rapture? How about
Fontaine Shapeshift Moments Numbers 4, 5, & 6
One of Shirley’s responsibilities as writer is that he needs to illustrate the kind of person that Fontaine is. As far as I’m concerned, he’s done it several times over. It is abundantly clear that Fontaine is an asshole, and it’s clear what kind of asshole he is, even if he is kinda boring. Now that Fontaine has the Rapture thread, you would expect for him to follow that, because that’s what I’m reading this book for.
Obviously, that’s why Shirley takes Fontaine to a boxing ring! Because it is time to throw a fight! After all, we must follow up on that Great Value Mobster thread! We care so much about that! My heart throbs with anticipation! About Twitchy and Snorts!
See, Shirley did not illustrate one specific trait of Fontaine’s, and he thinks it’s important enough to digress to it: Fontaine’s ability to shapeshift, as it were.
“My name’s Lucio Fabrici,” Gorland said, tying Steele’s glove’s nice and tight. “Bianchi sent me.” … “Fabrici” had gone to great lengths for this disguise. The pinstripe suit, the toothpick stuck in the corner of his mouth, the spats, the toupee, the thin mustache—a high quality theatrical mustache carefully stuck on with spirit gum. But mostly it was his voice, just the right Little Italy intonation, and that carefully tuned facial expression that said, We’re pals, you and I, unless I have to kill you.
Wait. Was “spirit gum” called that in 1946? Oh, I don’t care.
It’s worth mentioning that I have noted two black characters so far—the boxer from the historical infodump and Steele’s trainer, who Fontaine paid to scram—and Shirley doesn’t let the trainer talk. And you know what? Given how he writes dialogue, that’s probably the safest option.
After Fontaine throws the thrown fight, he goes to his bookie operation.
[Fontaine] walked over to Morry, to have a gander at the take, and heard a couple of the dockworkers talking over their flask. “Sure, Ryan’s hiring big down there. It’s a hot ticket, pal, big paydays. But problem is—real QT stuff. Can’t talk about the job. And it’s dangerous too. Somewhere out in the North Atlantic, Iceland way…”
First of all, there’s the unnecessary description. Can’t we just assume that Fontaine walked somewhere? What does that add to the narrative? Use stronger imagery or take that shit out. That’s literally your only skill and now you’re fucking that up, too.
Second of all, split the dialogue off, why do you keep sticking it to random fucking descriptions.
Third of all, how does the entire fucking world not know what Andrew Ryan is doing? Half of what Fontaine has learned has been from overhearing random people. It’s like the whole universe is conspiring to help Fontaine out, and it’s getting a little weird, I’m gonna be honest. Every time I randomly overhear people it’s things like grocery lists and brain-dead political takes. When will I overhear where to find one million dollars
Then there’s how Fontaine reacts when he overhears this information. This sentence immediately follows the paragraph above:
[Fontaine] slipped outside by the side door and set himself to wait.
He literally says nothing to anyone. He just leaves. He’s just had an intense exposition-filled conversation with his employees and then he’s like whoops bye bitches fuck your lives
Look at how fucking pathetic this sentence is, too. “Set himself to wait”? I actually double-checked this after an edit because I was sure I’d inserted a typo. No, it’s just this bland.
This whole sequence was almost certainly written at a sprint. Words and phrases are weak as shit—no emotional power, no visual or spatial sense, no movement. There are no smooth transitions and, quite naturally, no tension. It’s just one domino falling after another. You wanna take a moment and think?
NO.
RUN BITCH.
RUN
Fontaine follows the deckhands until they reach their ship—the Olympian.
Gorland tilted his hat so the G-man wouldn’t see his face and strolled over, hands in his pockets, weaving a bit, making like he was drunk.
There’s some more embarrassing tryhard dialogue but you can read it yourself.
“Making like he was drunk.” jesus christ are you even trying
The only important part is the deckhand arguing with an officer.
“I just ain’t shipping out to that place again, and that’s all there is to it,” snarled the deckhand in the black peacoat. … “I don’t mind being on the ship—but in that hell down below, not me!” “There’s no use trying to say you’ll only take the job if you stay on the ship—it’s what Greavy says that goes! If he says you go down, you go down!” “Then you go down in my place—and you wrestle with the devil! It’s unholy, what he’s tryin’ to do down there!”
Wait. What? Why? Why is it unholy to build things under the ocean? Look, I was a religious nut for a huge portion of my life, and I can’t remember any taboos about checks notes building underwater?
As the deckhand takes off, having quit employment with Ryan Industries, Fontaine sees a piece of metal, picks it up, and runs after the deckhand.
“Hey!” the man yelped. Gorland held the deckhand firmly in place and pressed the end of the cold metal pipe to the back of his neck. “Freeze!” Gorland growled, altering his voice. He put steel and officiousness into it. … “You think I’m some crooked dock rat? I’m a federal agent! Now don’t even twitch!” [Fontaine said.]
Fontaine flashes a fake badge, then gets this deckhand to spill his guts. In two pages, he learns about Ryan building a city beneath the sea, complete with information about its technology and current state of construction.
End chapter.
Fontaine’s section of Chapter 2 runs from pages 39 through 54. In about two weeks, he has pretended to be six different people and learned everything he needs to know about Andrew Ryan.
You Can Always Try
I don’t know what Shirley was on at this point. In my mind, you devote one chapter to Fontaine at the tail-end of one really good con. Really put your effort into the con, show the ups and downs as the criminals attempt to outmaneuver the popo. Maybe show Fontaine fuck up some other criminal and then take his name. A shadow steps out of the smoke, adjusts his hat. “The name is Frank Fontaine.” Ohhhhh noooo I thought Frank Fontaine was that other guyyyy ooooooh shiiiiitttttt! And then never give out his background the rest of the story, and never show his internal world. Third-person objective: narrator stands outside of everyone. Keep Fontaine a huge question mark the entire story.
But Shirley was like, “Give Fontaine 3,000 cons in the same chapter, one after the other after the other, nonstop, don’t breathe, don’t stop, go go go go, and do it in such a way that Fontaine looks like the only human player in a world of NPCs.”
It just feels so unnecessary.
Here are images of Fontaine and Atlas.
That’s called “growing your hair out” and “cosmetic surgery” you fucking dumbass. It’s not that big of a deal. Now write something I give a shit about.
Question: how couldn’t the feds get all of this information in all the same ways, plus some? This is the FBI in 1946, the USA has just gone through WW2 like gangbusters, the Cold War is just warming up, and—most terrifyingly of all—J. Edgar Hoover is the FBI director. You think they give a single shit? Hell, I’m not sure they’d have to do much in the way of skullduggery at all. So far, the biggest problem with keeping Rapture secret has been employees talking.
Long story short, now Andrew Ryan and the US government look like chumps, and the narrative has the gall to imply Fontaine is skilled when he’s just unreasonably lucky. And if there’s one rule you should never break for a BioShock story it’s to make Andrew Ryan a fucking chump.
If You Must
Although having Fontaine front and center is not ideal, it’s also doable. So far, he’s the most interesting character in the book—probably because he’s solving the Rapture mystery. There are elements he doesn’t understand, which is a kind of tension, even if there are no repercussions for failure.
This tension is accidental. Just like every other character, Fontaine’s challenges and enemies are either neutered or indistinct. He hovers in a kind of eternal limbo where he is everything he has ever been. We can’t pretend it’ll get any better from here on out. However, let’s pretend that Shirley gives a fuck.
Now that Fontaine in a traditional character-driven narrative, we need to give him an arc. The Fontaine of Chapter 2 must not be the same Fontaine we see by the end of the story. We know Shirley will fail, but that’s the standard we’re going to judge him by. Remember: this isn’t BioShock-the-game. We’re writing literature now, so the aims and methods are different. If you’re going to use him as a major antagonist, he needs challenges to surmount, same as Andrew Ryan and Bill McDonagh and every other character ever.
So if you’re going to use Fontaine in this role, he has got to have an arc of some kind. He’s got to have something to overcome or learn or become because he’s in the kind of story that calls for that.
A competent writer would give you a reason to be interested in Fontaine. Shirley knows you’ve picked up this book because you’re a fan, so he presupposes you already are. So he just… doesn’t try.
jesus christ this lazy bastard. I hold him in utter contempt.
And I am just now at Chapter Fucking Three.
<- Part 5: Three Old Men Jerking Their Milk Sticks || Back to the Beginning || Part 7: Shadow Eve ->
#bioshock#bioshock rapture#frank fontaine#writing#reading#essays#rants#long post#vvatchword#vv reading#sorry for how awkward this gets but I'm tired and done now
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wot rewatch 1x7: the dark along the ways
spoilers for s1 of WoT and through Knife of Dreams in the books; minor spoilers for one of the s2 character blurbs
Aaaaah, my angel Tigraine is here to kick ass and have a baby. This cold open floored when when I first saw it and it still floors me. It's amazing. I'm looking forward to more Maiden action in s2 so much. Not just the fighting here, but the emotion -- how frustrated she is that they won't just let her have her baby in peace, how she finally has a moment to herself and then this new potential threat shows up and we hang in that moment. Fantastic episode opener and it really makes me excited about what we might get in s2 for the cold opens.
So... given that she left Andor to chase a prophecy to save the world and has found herself on Dragonmount about to give birth... Tigraine could probably guess who her kid was going to be at this point, I feel like? She was very well educated, first in Andor and then in the White Tower, so I'm sure she would have known the Prophecies (maybe she even figured out when she learned that the female warrior society of the Aiel was called the Maidens of the Spear?)
The Emond's Field people want to get Mat but Moiraine must refuse because he's literally in recasting limbo right now. I love how Rand just instantly lost all trust in Moiraine the second she refuses to open the Waygate. She won him to her side by helping Mat, then immediately lost him once she stopped. Rand (and Nynaeve) are so protective & defensive over Mat in this episode and I really love it.
Of course, Rand is now probably also about, like 75% sure that he's actually the Dragon and so there's no need to worry about Mat anyway. But Moiraine is absolutely not sure who the Dragon is and it very well could be Mat (imo if she wasn't worried that Mat was a potential channeler, it would be pointless to send the Red Ajah after him).
Rand's little despairing looks back at the closed Waygate and his instant defense of Mat against anyone who says a word against him (even Egwene): catnip to a newly-minted Cauthor shipper.
Yeah, Mat is 100% Moiraine's least favorite child -- she 'knows' what choice he would make, she says (the wrong one). So, there are actually two different ways that the show could go with Mat -- Moiraine could be either right or wrong that Mat would make the wrong/evil choice and it depends on how they've decided to handle the Seanchan. Because if they follow the same storyline that the books did, Mat does essentially choose to embrace evil along that path (even if Jordan never admits it) when he decides that he's okay being married to an unremorseful and unwilling-to-change slaver. If Tuon stays the same way that she is in the books, then Moiraine was right about Mat. If Mat and Tuon's storyline gets changed/updated to be less... awful, then Moiraine will have been wrong about Mat.
Lan tries to tease Nynaeve to cheer her up but fails, so he tries to reassure her instead, telling her that Mat is safer where they left him. It's a sweet little moment.
Both Egwene and Rand are more open in this moment than they were in episode 2 and are able to share a snuggle as they sleep (but Egwene also checks in with Rand first this time and waits for him to essentially nonverbally give her a 'yes' before snuggling in). Rand is also a lot less raw about the breakup and they're hovering in a weird 'maybe we're not broken up after all' space.
People's worst fears clawing at them is a lot more informative kind of existential terror than just gore-whispers.
Honestly, given how on-edge everyone is put by the Black Wind, it would more surprising if it didn't lead to tensions and arguments. That was a rough experience for them all.
Lots of Lan backstory in this episode! His title, people from his past, etc.
Poor Moiraine looks so exhausted. Pretty much now until the end of the season. This is also when Moiraine has the message sent to the Red Ajah about Mat, which Lan is not around to hear, I note.
Perrin engages in some Fainspotting!
Oh, I notice that when Min serves drinks to the ta'veren, she keeps her eyes down. To avoid seeing all the viewings maybe? And I'm pleased to say that show!Min remains likable on rewatch, despite my bad experience with book!Min in my reread! She actually is a world-weary and well-traveled woman who has been through Too Much and is Tired instead of feeling like a tweenager cosplaying as one. And Moiraine literally has to blackmail her into sharing her viewings about the EF5.
And reading the new s2 summary about Min also tells us why Moiraine threatening her with exposure is enough to make her crack -- she was forced to be a carnival act! Yikes, Min's aunts!
Also that does look like the same baby from Rand's vision in the next episode, at least to me, so I think that's what she was seeing.
The EF5 all confronting Moiraine. I do wonder if it was the whispers of the Ways that made her decide to open up to them about how the non-Dragons will die when the Dragon faces the Dark One. And though the group does fracture into an argument after this discussion, they do present a united front against Moiraine here.
This argument also does a good job in laying down Egwene's philosophy and her reasons for wanting to do this. And we get another passionate defense of Mat from Rand.
It's fascinating how quickly Nynaeve jumps the conclusion that Rand and Perrin are 'fighting over' Egwene (something that both Rand and Egwene find initially baffling). I wonder how long Nynaeve has been expecting this to come up as an issue between them, that she goes there so quickly. Back in ep1, she sends Perrin away from Egwene's celebration to spend time with his wife and then in this episode, she notices Perrin noticing Egwene and Rand snuggling together. She is on "Perrin->Egwene HIGH ALERT" at all times and it's just kinda fascinating. If she'd just let them argue, I sincerely doubt that Perrin would ever have let anything slip.
Perrin's staring at Rand's mouth while saying "only woman I ever loved was my wife" moment. With a single shot, Perrin comes across as infinitely less heterosexual than his book counterpart.
We get some more good Lan content in his scenes with Moiraine and then Nynaeve. It's nice to get to see a piece of Lan's culture and for him to share it with Nynaeve. All the scenes that he has with both of them in this episode are really good. Lan comparing his devotion to Moiraine to Nynaeve's protectiveness over the Two Rivers' kids; I like it.
And this scene with Egwene and Rand is his last stab at denial. He wants to pretend that he can still be Egwene's husband/Warder. But if he doesn't give up on his denial, he might be condemning Egwene, Perrin, & Nynaeve to a painful death. What Egwene says here (that she will stand by Rand if he's the Dragon) is also related to why he goes off on his own and pretends to be dead imo -- he knows his friends wouldn't abandon him and so he has to abandon them for their safety.
And we reach the point where everything is at a crisis point and Rand can't keep denying every strange thing that's been building up since the night the Trollocs attacked.
This scene with Rand and Min is very good. Again, show!Min is doing a lot better than book!Min. Also, Min, I'm holding you to that "three beautiful women" viewing.
Aah, the kindness of how the show did Rand's birth really gets to me. The story is so much... colder in the books. That show!Tigraine gets to have a last moment of connection before she dies, and gets some assurance that her kid will be taken care of. It was an incredibly compassionate change to make.
lol, the poor awkwardness of the three Emond's Fielders (before they realize that Rand has disappeared with Moiraine).
Moiraine's thoughts, probably: "shit, it's one of the boys. Well... at least it's not Mat".
#wot#wheel of time#wot on prime#wot rewatch#wot book spoilers#knife of dreams#wot s2 spoilers#wheel of time s2 spoilers#wot prime spoilers#wot show spoilers
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My hottest of WoT finale takes
*spoilers through S2E8*
This has been a very solid season. The direction the story went was unexpected and yet fits the overall books’ direction, and lots of little changes and retroactive adjustments made a big difference for me—like giving gleemen back their colorful patched cloaks, letting us see more weave colors, etc. While I appreciated S1, one of my issues was it not fully feeling like the WoT setting I had grown to love in the books, and this season very much did.
Where does the take get hot?
I, um … I thought the writing and pacing of the second half of the finale was kind of … bad?
Okay, let me explain.
Example: We have Lord Ingtar and Loial and Masema (the “and Peggy” of the trio) just … they have the Horn now, and they mention in one line that “A Carhein woman helped us sneak it out” … and that all happened off screen, and while I could infer we’re talking about Lanfear, it really felt like we had skipped a scene, especially since I’m pretty sure that was these characters’ first appearance in this episode and we had no notion that they were trying to escape or what their plan was, etc.
And from that point in the episode to the end, it just felt like everything had been clipped down to bullet points. The dialogue felt super abbreviated, and in other places felt like a line was added in a super awkward way to make sure the audience understood something that I think they could’ve inferred.
I think it would’ve been more powerful, for instance, if when Rand sees Elayne, he doesn’t say anything—just stares and then we cut to the awesome shot of Elayne’s head haloed by the sun
Likewise if we had just cut to Aviendha, Bain, and Chiad just looking up in awe at Rand and the fire weave dragon in silence, I think it’d have been more powerful than Aviendha saying “Car’a’carn”
It’s like they just ran out of runtime and had to condense the finale down to its barest bones. Which is almost certainly what happened.
Okay, but that’s not too hot of a take.
Okay, here’s where the fire falls.
For all the above complaints
It was
And I really do mean this
In my humblest of opinions
A big improvement on the ending of The Great Hunt.
The Great Hunt’s ending was spectacular imho right up until the Horn of Valere is blown. And then it flies right off the rails. The Great Hunt spoilers below, but it’s not really all that different from the S2 finale in terms of outcomes.
A mist arises
Artur Hawkwing and the other Heroes of the Horn appear
They talk and have some playful banter that didn’t age great (“and women!” Brigitte Silverbow said. “And women,” agreed Hawkwing [audience gives a hearty chuckle])
Rand leads the heroes of the horn into … battle? And Perrin has to be Rand’s standard bearer and Mat is asked to just keep toot-tooting on the horn to … inspire the troops? And they spend the battle just … holding a banner and rooting on the Horn?
Ishamael is there in the mists
But it’s in the sky???
But it’s not because the Heroes of the Horn are on the ground
But they’re also in the sky?
And Ishamael and Rand don’t have a channeling battle; they have … a swordfight? Except Ishamael is using a staff? And I guess they’re like One Power proxy weapons because they have supernatural abilities if they make contact?
But the Heroes are definitely on the ground because when Rand has the upper hand, the battle goes well for them and when Ishamael has the upper hand it goes poorly for them?
And everyone can see Rand and Ishamael fighting in the sky like it’s friggin’ Fantasmic with no explanation as to why or how or what purpose it serves, just that that’s the prophecy and so they’re in the sky and everyone (especially the young women) gets to be super impressed with Rand?
Mat, presumably, is still just a-tooting on the horn of Valere the whole time
And then when Rand stabs Ishamael, he, they, it … no more in the sky?
Rand is found wounded on the ground and not in the sky?
And then things pick up again at the end of the book.
But it’s one of those moments that throughout the rest of the series is just like … what? Huh? What was THAT? Nothing like it ever happens again and nobody ever attempts to make it make sense. It’s just one of those things that just … we have to move on from.
Season 2 finale resolves most of that in ways I really like. Exception: the Dragon Banner that is just a fire weave illusion from Moiraine … that gave off the same vibe to me as that scene in Eragon 2006: “And are we together, Saphira? AS ONE????” (Dragon roar and fire.) I just imagine that Moiraine is sitting there channeling the weave and Lan is like, “Okay, Moiraine! Now make it roar!” But. Minor quibble.
BUT ANYWAY. The finale just kind of felt rushed, like it needed to be 30% longer. But the changes were imho big improvements on the Fight in the Sky of The Great Hunt.
By making the “sky” part just a tall tower made it all make so much more sense and less silly. And having our whole main cast together with Rand and DOING STUFF and not relegated to tooting merrily on the Horn of Valere and holding Rand’s stuff for him was a great improvement. Egwene taking on Ishamael and actually surviving against him for as long as she did, Perrin coming in, Elayne healing Rand, etc. Such an improvement imho. Taking one of the few WoT moments that I always cringed at and making it a solid, grounded moment.
That’s my super hot take. Don’t hate me.
And Uno as a hero of the horn was amazing. Could not have loved that more.
I am delighted to see that I appear to be in the minority on this. I’m so glad to see so many people loving the finale.
#wheel of time#wot#the wheel of time#wheel of time prime#wheel of time season 2#unreasonably attractive fandom#wheel of time show#egwene al'vere#nynaeve al'meara#perrin aybara#elayne trakand#rand al'thor
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People can say what Siuan did to Moiraine was abusive or character assassination, but people need to realize that just because you don't like something doesn't make it out of character, and it doesn't make the characters wrong.
Between siuan and moiraine went down, I get that for people who ship, them it was rough to see but I don't think siuan was in the wrong. The biggest problem is that siuan is a character in a TV series, she is not privy to everything the audience and other characters know. She knows that moraine has been keeping secrets from her, huge secrets, disobeyed her by breaking rand out, and and from siuans perspective lied to her, something only the black ajah can do.
Aes sedai cannot go against the 3 oaths, not its hard to do, or it hurts to do but can be pushed through, they cannot. I don't believe compulsion can force an aes sedai to go against their oaths, but I know in the books even an aes sedai collared by an a'dam can't be used as a weapon like other women who can channel. Moiraine truely believes she was stilled, which is why it isn't a lie, just a tied off shield by one of the most powerful channelers in existence, which doesn't seem to be a thing outside of the age of legends and women can't see male weaves so why would she assume that's what it was. unfortunately that means to Siuan, it looks like Moiraine is a liar something only the black ajah can do, which means the only logical explanation while Cairhien is being assaulted by a woman channeler more powerful than herself, is that the woman she loves is a dark friend and has been for at least 6 months since the eye of the world.
Yes, siuan compelling moiraine into obedience with her oath is a bad thing, especially to someone u love. But moiraine is trying to manipulate her just as much by using their love for each other as a shield for justice. Siuan is going to feel awful when she finds out the truth, but as the Amyrlin she did what she thought right and forced a dark friend and member of the black Ajah to obey. we know darkfriends in the show and in the books, they can be insidious, they can even be kind people who were forced into a bad situation or fell into a bad crowd. But they can be tricky and yes, as we can see since Moiraine's own nephew is a darkfriend who almost became the king of a country, they can be the people you least suspect.
Siuan did what she thought was right even though she was incorrect, it's not going to be the last time she does this, it's going to be from the last time any character in the Wheel of Time does it. And look, if they go through the whole series, hopefully the two of them can be together in the end and work through this. I can't believe I'm defending Siuan this much, I'm not even a big fan of her character, but I think fair is fair. (also found out I've been spelling moiraine's name wrong this whole time, which doesn't have much to do with the post, just something that happened to me and will happen in the future)
#wheel of time#wheel of time spoilers#wheel of time book spoilers#wot#wot spoilers#wot book spoilers#siuan sanche#moiraine damodred
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actual finale thoughts:
I was salty about nynaeve at first but. after a night's sleep I do really like the building on her block (and plus associated trauma from the archways and her fake life within??) in a scene that was already juggling so many characters. plus it does set up her next arc really well. it stings for a finale but every wot finale until the last one is also inherently a bunch of setup, so! I'm More Chill Now
I knew how this would go with hopper the moment I saw a whitecloak presence and I got so teary at him jumping... (I do think the book death hits harder, the being pinned down with lances as he tries to leap...) But Still. I do feel it was early but also... well. it's important he die
I saw something in the tags about renna's death but honestly I feel it really works narratively for egwene at this moment, and for what mental space she'll be in for the next season
moiraine and lan <3 . great scenes, no notes. also I wonder who the big part of the fire banner was from, because it was very much filmed to draw attention to it being from a wholly different angle
the age of legends scene killed me. gonna be rotating "I know how much you hate being alive" and "I'm sorry but I can't do this again" and the repetition for YEARS
thinking about how the second after lanfear and ishy cuddle and affirm "we need each other" they both then move to betray each other with zero on screen regret. they know each other so well. this is how things go. I'm So Feral
speaking of isha'mael... his resignation when rand refuses! his extremely disinterested battle where he only does one weave and does not even try to change things up. he also knows how this will go, and there will be other chances for this to change before the end. at least he has a brief reprieve (:
(I also noted out loud that his dissolving into ash and crumbling away looks very similar aesthetically to how the heroes of the horn are pulled back. just wanna make that association)
mat's stuff was great <333 the awful lurch from feeling like he knows where he belongs to fucking it up. his frantic explaining it was a mistake
it feels like uno being a hero was either a gift to fans or a confirmation of a theory I'd never heard? honestly I'm p neutral on him so I didn't get much from it. I was however happy to see amaresu and birgitte!
I didn't expect to see the heron brands given how comparatively small and detailed they are, so that was such a gift. the scar looks so awful and grody too! wonderful. rand angst also fed really well for the future
everything with lanfear was great. her schemes! selling her coworkers to dump in the ocean like discarded pokemon! making sure she could fuck up isha'mael's contingencies. strolling into a total victory only to be fucked up by her least favourite coworker!! she's not my fave forsaken but she's been amazing all season and I'm glad for her
#wheel of time#wot tv spoilers#wot tv#tried to limit my book knowledge on here but still was unsuccessful lmao#it just spills out sorry
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Can we get some more funky facts about Lazer? I just think he's so adorable and cool!!!
(Give him a sec he's buffering-)
-It's easy to get him flustered if you know the right things to say. His fans often compliment him so he's fairly good at keeping his cool when he's on the clock, but he finds terms/petnames like cute/cutie/adorable/beautiful/handsome very intimate so he's more likely to stammer a little if you call him that (this is especially so if it's coming from someone he likes or looks up too)
-He and his sister Penny are the most aware of their problems. Lazer's faults are that he can be blinded by impulsiveness sometimes thanks to his ADHD, which can lead to him saying/doing stuff without properly thinking them through before hand. He also has a habit of running on energy drinks and highly caffeinated foods and drinks which then leads him to crash so many hours later. Lazer tries to combat this by switching his coffee/energy drinks out for tea to help relieve stress and anxiety and taking power naps when he can
-Him and Penny both have awful sleep schedules that they're trying to fix. Lazer plays more at DJ gigs late in the evening that can sometimes last until the early hours of the morning, and Penny often pulls all nighters thanks to her completion attitude with work. They're what you could call the night owls of the family
-Lazer's had his heart broken a lot thanks to past relationships. When his career was first taking off a lot of people got with him just for his reputation and money, most of her partners assumed he was dumb as he was still new in the big world that makes up the music industry. In general Lazer is also very trusting and easy going, so tended to overlook things that concerned him back in the day because he thought he was overthinking. Penny has had to deal with the teary aftermath of his breakups, which often means escorting a drunk Lazer away from a confused bartender and letting him sleep on her sofa for the night
-Him and Penny are actually super close despite them often having those typical sibling disputes
-Drinks his I Respect All Genders juice religiously
-Has some WILD drunk stories (Lazer: So I'm sitting there, barbaque sauce on my titties-
Rand: What the actual fuck-)
-While he stims through tapping his fingers, humming and rocking back and fourth (in general when he's sitting still he'll be moving in some way: like tapping his fingers, bouncing his leg or rocking) he has a habit to chew his fingers when he's especially upset or nervous. It was the worst when he hit puberty, Penny brought plasters for his fingers
-Cockatoo's are his favourite animal
-Him and Penny love Mama Mia they binge it together when they're both feeling burnt out and unmotivated
-He's sort of protective of all of his other girl cousins, it's a older cousin/big bro sort of protectiveness which sparked even since Penny asked to be referred to by female pronouns. Penny experienced some hate through her transitioning and that sparked Lazer's protectiveness over the other girls in his family
-Speaking of which he probably cried more than Penny did when she officially transitioned. He's such a worry wort and Penny had to remind him a lot that she was perfectly fine (and that maybe he should go take a shower he was starting to smell-)
-Penny is also very protective of her brother and is not shy of showing it. Penny knows Gavin is a sweetheart at best and a bit oblivious at worst, so if Gavin ever introduces her to his new boyfriend or girlfriend she is instantly suspicious - she's seen Lazer's heart be broken too many times and she swears she won't let it happen again
-He carries Zoot under his arm like a sack of potatoes
-He can work well in very noisy environments. Since he plays at gigs, which are always loud, he can witstand being in loud and crowded environments for a long time. He knows his limits though and will take a break when it gets too much for him
-Sometimes he ends up yelling without meaning too, again thanks to his job. Since gigs are always loud he often has to raise his voice in order for any of his team to hear him, and the habit carriers over to when he isn't working. He gets a bit embarrassed when this happens since he knows it can be annoying to other people, so just kindly ask him if he can lower his voice and he will
-He ugly cries when he's upset. He feels emotions hard so when he gets upset he really gets upset
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My personal ranking of Kotor companions from most to least favourite:
Juhani - naturally the top spot goes to the first lgbt+ character in star wars media. we love a lil lesbian
Mission Vao - this is my child, goes without saying
T3-M4 - he beeps! he goes deet deet! he has a flamethrower! he cost like a thousand credits though hence the third place ranking
Hanharr - so I know no one ranks him very highly ever or talks about him cause it’s actually pretty hard to get him in a play through but like. if you can find his dialogue options online and read through all his conversations I would so recommend it. He is absolutely fascinating whether you’re giving LS or DS answers and he’s an extraordinarily interesting character study (as are all the Kotor II characters but he’s a particularly underrated one). They took a lot of elements of Zaalbar but also Juhani and really fleshed them out and since Juhani’s my fav it makes sense I’d like him
Canderous Ordo - bioware let me romance him I’m begging you on hands and knees. that being said I know my opinion of him is biased for this reason so to be objective he’s a few spots down
Atton Rand - normally I don’t get the obsession when tumblr goes nuts for the most average men but like. i get it this time. Especially because he’s not average he’s arguably the most nuanced and complex star wars character to exist, even more so than Kreia (to me) with insane depth and his romance is certainly the best written romance in star wars. but also this man doesn’t shower
Mira - I feel like sis never gets enough credit for definitely (in my mind) being down bad for female exile. like she fully rejects male exile if he comes on to her and then when she comments to the other girls like “back off he’s mine” she follows up with clarifying that if anyone is going to turn him in for a bounty it’s her. and if female exile asks if Mira knows anything about men Mira’s just like “I know how to hunt them for bounties. What else could you possibly need them for.” and when you read her thoughts she only wonders how male exile still looks so young but for a female exile she specifically is like “she’s just so naturally beautiful” cue hearteyes. That being said her being wlw is not canon and she absolutely reeks of performative third wave feminism
Kreia - Kreia, sis, take a chill pill. wonderful, fascinatingly written character and all but like. damn. also middle of the list for being a parasocial mother figure to me in all the good ways and the bad. She would be lower but she was a fucking beast in combat plus carrying on the Star Wars legacy of losing hands in lightsaber duels
Carth Onasi - they said cookie cutter hero even down to the dead wife but also give this man the worst trust issues you’ve ever seen and make him awful at flirting. I did not know the game pseudo forces you into his romance even if you reject him, cause I’ll not lie the first time I played through the game his awkward and downright terrible rizz captivated me. but also if I didn’t give Mira a free pass for product-of-its-time writing, it’s not fair if I don’t also judge Carth for that so like negative points for pushy sexism
Visas Marr - don’t like that if you’re a male exile it forces you to have only saved her life out of sexual desire no matter what you say about it. and if we’re judging Carth’s romance for that, we have to judge this too. plus she’s so bad in fights, I don’t know what it was but I could never get her to stay conscious for any fights even low level ones no matter what I did in a play through. But also my darling with the best fashion taste in these entire games. Shy lil sweetheart who also fully was preparing to slit your throat. Like I love her, the uselessness as a companion is fully the reason she’s so low
Bastila Shan - she is as preachy as everyone says and it’s so much worse when you learn she’s supposed to be like 20 years old (which yikes x1000 for male Revan) but even with female Revan I was always willing to overlook the preachiness as a character thing back when I thought she was closer to the same age as Revan, like in her 30s or close to equals at least. But it does become much harder to overlook the arrogance and lectures when this snotrag is like at least a decade younger than you. also what even is battle meditation it’s a stupid power. but I cannot deny the mommy issues did make me relate hard plus now that legends isn’t canon (not that it ever was) that means legends is whatever I want it to be so in my brain Bastila is at least 30
Zaalbar - I want to like him so much more than I do. He’s just I think one of the worst cases of Kotor I having a very limited system of good and evil so like all of the nuance that his character could have is pretty straightforwardly handled and very black and white
Jolee Bindo - take notes Kreia on the superior grey jedi (even though I ranked him so much lower than her lol). but yeah mad props for being the only true grey jedi to exist in these games, at least when you first meet him. I just unfortunately have adhd and since his whole character and all his interactions are just longwinded war stories, I get very bored very quickly. (and yes Canderous is similar but his stories are shorter and don’t make up his entire relationship with Revan and also I want to romance him)
Bao-Dur - we love to see disability rep just would be nice if I could have more than like three conversations with him. as great a setup and backstory as the rest of the Kotor II companions and then they do basically nothing with him even if he learns Force wielding
HK-47 - he’s mostly so far down because I think he’s extremely overrated. like he as a character is fun but he’s treated like the greatest cleverest writing to have ever existed when it’s literally just the same two jokes over and over again
Mical the Disciple - I do love him actually but yeah everyone’s not wrong about him being the blandest most milquetoast nerd to have ever existed. I do have affection in my heart for him but unfortunately he must also lose brownie points for replacing Dvakvar, an infinitely cooler character
Brianna the Handmaiden - this girl would have bullied me in high school I think
Dvakvar Grahrk - why did they replace this cool alien with yet another boring human. clearly they did not think it would be believable that Atton would be jealous of an alien’s relationship with f!exile or else he’d have been more jealous of Bao-Dur as well. star wars made aliens only to hate on them and quite frankly I would like to have recruited and possibly (depending on the quality of footage that could have existed) even romanced Dvakvar. Unfortunately because we know next to nothing about him he must come at the bottom of the list. RIP to what could have been
G0-T0 - I literally forgot about him at first, I simply do not care about this thing
Honorary mention: Bao-Dur’s Remote - he’s just a lil guy that zooms around! no flaws nothing but perfection. would be number one if I considered him an full companion. Also honorary mention to Trask Ulgo, gone but not forgotten
#star wars#kotor ii#kotor#kotor companions#knights of the old republic#star wars knights of the old republic
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Show Aviendha's first reaction on seeing Rand is to look at him with awe and saying "Car'a'carn" very different vibe from book Aviendha who hates him on sight lmao I am so curious to see what they do here. definitely feel like they'll go for a different vibe. Not that they'll have them have a good relationship right off the bat but I don't think they'll have her hate him. Maybe be a bit wary of him though
we'll see, there is still PLENTY of time for rand to put his foot in his mouth and make a bad first impression when they actually meet face-to-face haha i could definitely imagine a type of vibe where aviendha is initially starstruck and respectful about The Concept of the car'a'carn but immediately realizes "oh, this dude is an absolute clown and will be no help at all to the aiel 😒" once she meets Actual Rand. he may well come tumbling swiftly down from her mental pedestal in their first proper interactions! so i don't think the 2 seconds of aviendha seeing The Concept of the car'a'carn from a distance is necessarily indicative of what their personal relationship will actually be like.
then there's also the likelihood that aviendha will be forced to leave the maidens and start training as a wise one in season 3, which i could imagine might put her in a bad mood and make her behave differently from the playful, self-confident attitude she exhibited in s2 when life is good and she's feeling very sure of her place in the world. if they go the same route as the books, she'll also a) be forced by the wise ones to spend a lot of time with rand, and b) potentially struggle with the feeling of falling in love with someone after never expecting to have romance in her life due to being a maiden, and c) be kinda pressured by the wise ones into marrying & having kids to continue the aiel, and better yet doing those things with rand to tie him to them. i don't know if the show will carry over these various factors about maidens never marrying & the wise ones shipping avirand etc, but it's possible! so, aviendha will generally be going through a pretty big personal upheaval, which could make her lash out at rand, and doubly so if there are additional factors to make her kinda mentally associate him with these unwanted changes in her life and resent him because of it.
then there's all the stuff rand is going through, which could make him more prickly and more wary of strangers than he used to be, which could in turn lead to clashes with aviendha (especially if the wise ones order her to spy on him and he suspects this).
and so overall, i think it's just too soon to guess what their dynamic might be like in s3! maybe it will be different from the books, but there's also plenty of routes available to get it to become similar to the books despite aviendha's initially positive reaction to the discovery of the car'a'carn in 2x08, so as of right now i don't think we really have grounds to strongly suspect it will be much different from the books. thus, i will continue assuming enemies-to-lovers until proven otherwise!
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Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 45: What Follows in Shadow
What do I even need to say at this point? There's going to be spoilers for the whole Wheel of Time series in this post? Block the tags? Some kind of quip about the picture here being the result of seeing spoilers and/or protection against it? Not so. This place is far too decayed to be much of anything, anymore.
Not so for the chapter though! It starts with an icon of the Flame of Tar Valon, another reflection of how the crew would have died so many times in these early days if it weren't for Moiraine keeping them going.
“I had not dreamed the decay had gone so far. If the bridges themselves are breaking, it may be that I cannot find the path you want. It may be that I cannot find a path back, either. The bridges could be falling behind us even now.”
It's cute that Loial assumes any amount of significant decay means the whole thing must be collapsing as they speak. Everything must seem hasty to an Ogier.
Rand took the bay up beside the Ogier. “When this is over, Loial, you show me your stedding, and I’ll show you Emond’s Field. No Ways, though. We’ll walk, or ride, if it takes all summer.”
I hope that they do get to do this, after everything is over. Loial absolutely deserves to know Rand is alive - once he's published his book - and getting to be road trip buddies is exactly what they'd both love.
The Aes Sedai rubbed her fingers against her palms distastefully. “You feel the taint, the corruption of the Power that made the Ways. I will not use the One Power in the Ways unless I must. The taint is so strong that whatever I tried to do would surely be corrupted.”
Was it even safe to channel in the Ways back before the corruption? The place is so orthogonal to normal reality that you'd think the Power would be weird here as a general rule.
“People there mentioned a gleeman, but they said nothing of him dying. They would have, I think, if a gleeman had been killed. Whitebridge is not so big as for a gleeman to be a small thing. And Thom is a part of the Pattern that weaves itself around you three. Too important a part, I believe, to be cut off yet.”
No body = no death. It's a trope that's about as old as storytelling, so Rand should be ashamed of himself for not being sufficiently genre savvy.
Rand found himself grinning back. Burn me, if I didn’t come out best for a change. I wish I knew as much about women as Perrin.
This is possibly the only time that it makes sense for one of the boys to assume that another boy is more of an expert than him, what with Perrin being solely responsible for this victory by mentioning Aram while Egwene's getting jealous about Min. I'm really glad we're basically done with this because this version of Egwene is annoying. I miss likable Egwene.
As she passed from him to Mat, he wondered if she thought it was that simple, that she could tell him he was safe and he would believe it. But somehow he did feel safe—safer, at least. Thinking that, he drifted into sleep and did not dream.
Sounds like it is that simple, Rand. Placebos are powerful things!
Lan pushed the bow down before Mat could nock another. “Stop that, you village idiot. There’s no way to tell who it is.”
Let's just all appreciate how wonderful life can be when Lan snarks. I am willing to pardon the show for most all the rest of its Episode 7 & 8 awfulness that couldn't be helped because of COVID and Harris leaving but that was no reason for them not to steal Disney's CGI actor insertion tech just so that we could hear Daniel Henney say those words.
“If you fall behind, Warder,” Loial said firmly, “you’ll spend the rest of your life in the Ways. Even if you can read Ogier, I have never heard or read of a human who could find his path off the first Island lacking an Ogier guide. Can you read Ogier?”
Didn't humans make this place, Loial? Surely those dudes were able to go between the first steddings to connect them?
The Aes Sedai faced them calmly. “Trollocs.” She ignored their frightened gasps. “Or Fades. Those are Trolloc runes. The Trollocs have discovered how to enter the Ways. That must be how they got to the Two Rivers undiscovered; through the Waygate at Manetheren. There is at least one Waygate in the Blight.” She glanced toward Lan before continuing; the Warder was far enough away that only the faint light of his lantern could be seen.
Moiraine is normally so subtle and here she's just going, "Great job to your family for making our lives so much harder, Lan. Shame they couldn't hold Malkier for just five more decades. It only lasted a thousand years before they fucked it up."
Moiraine might not have believed a trap could be set for them, but for all the haste she spoke of, she made them travel more slowly than before, pausing before letting them onto any bridge, or off one onto an Island. She would step Aldieb forward, feeling the air in front of her with an outstretched hand, and not even Loial, or Lan, was allowed to go ahead until she gave permission.
I really wonder what she's up to here. She says she's not channeling in the Ways unless absolutely necessary, so it can't be any active probing with saidar. Moiraine also can't sense anything happening with saidin at all, so that doesn't work. Are the circumstances so dire that she's channeling a very small weave of the power, wiggling it around in the hopes of finding somewhere it can't go because there's already saidin, and then letting go as quickly as possible?
Loial pulled his horse up just short of the next Island and cocked his head to listen. Slowly his face paled, and he licked his lips. “Machin Shin,” he whispered hoarsely. “The Black Wind. The Light illumine and protect us. It’s the Black Wind.”
Machin Shin is that delightful third ingredient in the inhuman cess pit that Padan Fain is about to become. It's another standout bit of weirdness in that like Mashadar we don't really get any hint as to why metaphysical evil should suddenly take animate form. There's lots of theories about where the wind really comes from, both semi-credible (another Ba'alzamon project, since the Ways only started going dark around the time of Hawkwing) and bizarre (a parasite that infected the Ways even though most parasites need some kind of reason to exist), and we get neither answer nor (unlike mashadar) resolution. Perhaps Jordan intended for the Ways to be cleared out during the Last Battle as part of some desperate gambit to save Caemlyn? We'll never know.
Moiraine raised her staff and flame lanced from the end of it. It was not the pure, white flame that Rand remembered from Emond’s Field, and the battle before Shadar Logoth. Sickly yellow streaked through the fire, and slow-drifting flecks of black, like soot. A thin, acrid smoke drifted from the flame, setting Loial coughing and the horses dancing nervously, but Moiraine thrust it at the gates. The smoke rasped Rand’s throat and burned his nose.
Pro-tip should you ever find yourself in an extra-dimensional singularity with keyed points of egress: Do not try to burn through the barriers! It will not end well and depending on just how badly you bork space-time it may not appreciably end.
The wind shrieked in agony; it screamed in rage. The thousand murmurs that hid in the wind roared like thunder, roars of madness, half-heard voices cackling and howling promises that twisted Rand’s stomach as much by the pleasure in them as by what he almost understood them to say.
It's interesting that Rand's first true taste of madness isn't from channeling at all, huh? If I'd told you this paragraph was part of his Callandor sequence in Path of Daggers, wouldn't you have been pretty likely to believe me?
Flesh so fine, so fine to tear, to gash the skin; skin to strip, to plait, so nice to plait the strips, so nice, so red the drops that fall; blood so red, so red, so sweet; sweet screams, pretty screams, singing screams, scream your song, sing your screams. . . .
Another great mantra for meditating to! Always sing your screams folks!
“There is worse to be faced yet,” Moiraine said softly. Rand did not think she meant it to be heard.
She meant for you to hear it Rand, just not any of the others, or the political queen here woulda kept her mouth entirely shut.
And now it's time for me to close my mouth, folks. See you next time as we finally make it to Fal Dara and get the real dangers going!
#let's read#wheel of time#wot#robert jordan#wheel of time spoilers#wot spoilers#rand al'thor#loial#nynaeve al'meara#moiraine damodred#perrin aybara#mat cauthon#egwene al'vere#lan mandragoran#padan fain
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[‼️FP 237 spoilers] with nol's walls all the way up shin's "if you won't let me have you" is our only hope now <///3 tbh i had a strong feeling that nol would be extremely stubborn (after all, it's not just dieter and alyssa/"being like his father" that are preventing him from letting her in; the biggest reason remains yui) so i was actually hoping that shinae would be the initiator, that she'd back him into a corner and really push for it. but i swear to GOD if she shows up with a confession and he hits her with the "your feelings are your responsibility not mine" I WILL FIND A WAY TO TELEPORT INTO THE COMIC AND KILL HIM. LIL BUDDY JOIN ME. NOLAN PREPARE FOR DEATH 😾💥😾💥😾💥 i'm just HOPING that he's all talk and once shin shows up all his resolve crumbles ;; but it's starting to look like he's gonna need the time in jail to clear his head, sit with his feelings, read nessa's letters, and then yujing's article will probably make him see that there is hope, that things can be turned around, and maybe then he'll be willing to make alliances. but god i would HATE for them to part on bad terms i would HATE to see shin getting hurt again <///3 this girl has put up with SO MUCH she has given SO MUCH of herself to him and nothing is coming back she has been going through all stages of heartbreak how much more is she gonna have to endure i just UARGGHHHGHHHH.
-frustrated lil anon 😾
the thing is there is a big flaw in nol's thinking that someone needs to point out to him please. it's understandable that the stronger his feelings are, the closer they get, the more scared he is of what could happen - what yui could do -, and that he wants to prevent a tragedy at all cost. but boyo. guess what. YUI HAS ALREADY TAKEN INTEREST IN SHINAE REGARDLESS SO IT'S TOO LATE. whether you cut shin off or not, she is still in yui's trap!! she's actually *worse* off without you, so might as well join forces!!! GRRRRRR i'm seriously so frustrated. -lil anon 😾
GOD!!!!!!! /GOD/ Listen Lil Anon I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. All the way with the frustration, too, and it's so difficult because YES. I get him. I UNDERSTAND!!!! But HE DOESN'T HAVE THE WHOLE STORY.
I firmly feel like, yes, it is up to Shinae and her pure determination to tackle this, and I'm hoping he is all talk, or rather, I'm banking on the way he crumbles in her presence and how he can't stick to his guns because of her. I need them to sit and have a GOOD, HONEST conversation and I'm really afraid of how possible that is with the pace we're going at ;A; Like afkjalfkjaklfjkaf lemme lmao try to organize my thoughts.
Basically Nol lives with this fear that HE is a terrible mistake, a terrible monster, that he caused his mom's death and is responsible for all the bad things that exist as a result of his existence and caring for anything. Like, I am 300% sure that this mindset was drilled into him when he was institutionalized, that they basically took this child and brainwashed him into believing that his entire existence is a mistake because things would be so much better if he didn't exist.
He lost his mom. His father doesn't seem to love him. He's all alone. He probably said some awful things to his mom, before losing her, so it was easy to convince him that she died because of him, that he's like this poisonous gas that destroys everything it touches. But here's the thing. This is all he knows! He knows Yui is terrible - to him! He knows Rand is cruel - to him! He feels like he's a burden, a mistake. When Nana tells him how worried Rand was, Nol can't believe it, figures it must be because it's yet another mess for him to clean up, or because of his precious heir.
Nol may know that Yui played Alyssa like a puppet, but he very much thinks Alyssa's current situation is the course of her own choices, that she must've wanted to be famous, to impress Yui so much. He doesn't realize that she very much is trapped in this career.
He doesn't know that Yui has manipulated Kousuke for the entirety of his life, that she's drugged even her own son! He thinks everything she does is for his benefit, because she loves him, because she hates Nol the terrible bastard child born to her husband's mistress.
When he sees Shinae at the formal, clearly against her will, Nol believes it's because of him. I think that was the moment he remembered what happens when he cares about people, why his relationships were supposed to be fake, why it was supposed to be about him helping others and not himself. The moment he started to care about people and seek relationships for himself, he put them in danger.
Compare this to how he talks about Alyssa, how he never mentions her as one of the people he cares about, how he even brushes off the idea of her visiting him in prison. He doesn't feel responsible for her in the same way he does for Shinae being there.
It's not even that it's about Yui, exactly, but that it's about HIM, and that he cared about her, that because that friendship meant something, because she means something, he put her in danger.
Except, we know better. We've seen this story from an objective standpoint that Nol doesn't possess. Consider this: Nol only knows that Shinae was at the formal against her will, that Yui gave her a job at the company behind Kousuke's back. He doesn't know about Kousuke's birthday.
I need Shinae and Nol to talk because Nol's fears are VALID and I think we can see that Dieter can tell Nol's fears are not unfounded, even though he doesn't know what it is he fears. He just knows that he must, that bad things happen. But, right! Bad things have already happened! And they're going to keep happening! Nol is terrified because he only knows this small part of everything, and that this small point indicates it's because of him. But what happened at Kousuke's apartment wasn't about Nol. Even if Nol feigned losing interest in Shinae it wouldn't matter, because Yui is already invested. At this point it is no longer about Kousuke OR Nol. It's her OWN interest.
Shinae needs to be up front with him - tell him that first off, it's her decision to make, not his, he can't keep choosing to push people away without including them. But more importantly, she needs to tell him about the birthday incident. Tell him what Rand told her, that she'll never be able to escape from Yui's clutches, that she's already invested. Tell him about the offer, that Rand is urging her take it and use it for her benefit.
Nol cannot see beyond his fear because it's all he knows, he has nothing to contradict it or prove otherwise. But I need him to listen to Shinae, because while she probably can't fully change his mind - it's so deeply ingrained in him at this point - I think she can at least show him that her danger doesn't change regardless of whether she's near him or not. That even if he left her now and never looked back, it wouldn't change the hold Yui has on her. The problem is, can logic even combat his inherent believe, this psychologically deep fear he has?
But still, I want her to. I want him to read those letters in the Bible before he goes to jail because frankly I CANNOT TAKE the idea of them parting without resolution, parting with her still feeling like she's being thrown away, him needing to sit in prison pathetically yearning for her to realize how badly he cannot fight this. I need him to crumble in front of her, to realize that he cannot actually deny himself, that he cannot turn away from her ;A; I need him to be HONEST with her! She's already heard him in the alley talking to Lil Buddy, she knows why he pulls away. I want him to straight up tell her how scared he his, so that she can counter him.
Wouldn't it be worse, to leave her in the dark? To leave her behind and pretend that everything will be okay? AUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH
IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND HIM BUT HE'S WRONG AND I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING HE WILL BE TO LISTEN! I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING HE'LL BE TO ACCEPT THAT SHE'S BETTER OFF WITH HIM THAN WITHOUT.
Like.... at this point I'm really banking on Shinae's pure determination and maybe like... having to actually convince him because I know if she so much as initiates a kiss, he is going to CRUMBLE his brain is going to shut off he is SO touch starved and full of want and SO in love with her that the moment she initiates anything his resolve will melt away and it's OVER IT'S OVER.
But also I need him to read the letters from Nessa and see how badly Nessa wanted to protect Rand, and how he didn't let her. And how it ended up. Because Rand did what Nol is trying to do and it still didn't protect Nessa. Shinae doesn't deserve any of it - not what Yui would put her through but also not what Nol is putting her through. The Yui aspect can't be stopped, but he CAN stop the other so ALKJFALKFLAJFKAFJK ALKFJKLAFKFAJF FRAFLJ GRRRRRRRRR LAKJFKJFJKRJKRJ LIKE /SCREAMS/
I hope he reads the letters and realizes that it isn't something that will just pass. It wasn't for Rand. Even after he lost her, years later he still carried that Bible filled with her letters with her love with her desire to protect him, with the photo of their son. Rand never moved on. Even though he pushed her away and tried to be the responsible man, he never moved on.
Be for fucking real, Nol. You think you can do that? You know you can't do that. Rand never moved on, Nessa never moved on. Does he think Shinae could?
I want her to go in guns blazing. I want her to go in mad, I want them to argue because at least when they argue they're a little bit more honest, they say the things they might not if they were calmer and thought about their responses. I want her jealousy and insecurity to come out when Nol tries to shield himself with "I have a girlfriend" and I want her to remind him he said it was fake and he resents her. I wan her to look him in the eye and ask if he can really throw it all away, if he wouldn't have any regrets if he gave up and left her. I want him to fail to answer and instead tell her that maybe he can, who knows, maybe none of this is really real. And I want her to kiss him and prove to him how very real it is, how very much they both want it, and how very much they need each other.
They can have a heart to heart afterwards ;A; She can tell him about the Kousuke birthday party nightmare fiasco, remind him how Yui manipulated her and took advantage of her desperation, tell her what Rand said, that Yui will never let her go, tell him about Yui's offer. I want her to hold his stupid face and tell him that the only thing denying his feelings and pushing her away can do is hurt her more because regardless, she's trapped. She can't get out of her contract, she still has to face them! I want him to see that even if he can't get around his own paralyzing fear that that doesn't have to be the only option. He can leave. He can disappear. He can go away - as long as he doesn't sever that tie, as long as she still has contact. ;~;
Cos look.... I don't think we, or Shinae, could handle Nol leaving without resolving things. Even if it was a "he leaves and in prison he realizes he was a fool he can't do this he can't leave her like that", can she really handle him doing this? He had his opportunity to leave - twice. He could have left for jail and never stepped foot in her presence ever again, but he still went to her. And after they talked she told him he could leave, that she wanted closure. But he stayed.
He stayed and they talked and they shared moments and she told him all about her most painful straw, about why being thrown away by him hurts so much. He stayed and he almost died and she almost lost him and while the city was asleep they found comfort in their least favorite place together. While everyone slept they flirted and finger danced and danced and he hurt her again and how can he leave after that how can he push her away. He told her that what they did wasn't "just friends" that it was something more and all but told her to come back when she'd figured it out and she has and if he tries to push her away when she finally comes back I will KICK HIS ASS. Because if he does that how can she ever accept him back after? ;A; How can he shatter her heart over and over again and ever come back into her life? ;_________________;
So PLEASE I hope she can convince him, if only by refusing to let go, by convincing him of why he's making a mistake.
;A;
SCREAMS
#I Love Yoo#ILY Brainrot#ILY FP#ILY Spoiler#Lil Anon#ILY Anon#Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn#Stalkyoo#Aegi#Shinae Yoo#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCREAMS#I'm gonna try and do my 236 thought dump but listen#i was full of soooo much dread and i still kind of am but not as bad anymore and i don't feel AS despairing#still kinda tho cos Nol is SO unpredictable but i just!!!!!#i feel like the Nol/Shinae talk has been hyped up too much to not happen but i'm also afraid of his resolve#i need Shinae to be assertive#i need her to take what she wants instead of letting him lead#i need her to fight back because THIS ISN'T HIS DECISION ALONE#she knows the risks (not really but kinda) and if she chooses him if she chooses to be a team THEN SHUT UP AND LET HER#;A;#I JUST ALFJAFKJJAFJKAFKJAFJKJAF#HOWLS#STOP HURTING HER SHE DOESN'T DESERVE IT#AND STOP HURTING YOURSELF#they NEED to have a heart to heart#he may not be able to talk about what makes him a monster in his eyes but she can at least dispel the 'logic' that it's related to him#that it's that witch and that whatever choices they make it won't change the outcome#that they need to be TOGETHER to get through because they're so much more vulnerable alone#i keep thinking about how Yui could use them against each other and alfjakfkjafjaf hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HATE IT
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The Wheel of Time Season 2!
There might be some book spoilers, but only small, nothing overt, more like talking about changes from the books to tv.
ANYWAY
Welcome back show!
After the dismal ending to last season (which I was able to forgive because I realized how fucked by covid they got ), it starts out strong. They wisely just take the key points from the finale and forget the rest of it ever happened.
During the first ep, the thing that struck me most was that the show feels more confident — or maybe less self-conscious? Less like they're trying to be a fantasy show and more just 'this is our world and our story in it'. If that makes sense? Everybody just seems more comfortable in their skin, even the show itself.
Like, even the costuming, which was good before, seems even better this season. I got caught noticing the textures of the fabrics - so often in sci-fi/fantasy the materials look like/are upholstery fabrics and they look stiff and awful. This stuff is handwoven (or a good facsimile) and looks like real clothes real people wear.
Also, again, PEOPLE WEARING COLOR! SO GREAT! The beautiful textures and patterns on the little girl's clothes at the Dark Friends Social Of Evil And Darkness. Adeleas and her "i've retired to Florida and have decided to wear every color at once" look. Even Moiraine's "I'm a French peasant laboring in the countryside" clothes have color and texture to them. And, of course, Rand's iconic and wonderfully over-the-top red coat. Perfection.
Lovely work everybody.
Assorted things as they come to me:
• Liandrin — she is stealing the show early this season. And thank God. She wasn't much of a character in the books, to be honest, which is weird given the point of her in the story. But Kate Fleetwood has given her so much depth and made her genuinely intriguing. And that's got to be the greatest trick to her — if you've read the books, you know her, and so how do you make her interesting in this show to book readers? How do you make her surprising or mysterious? I genuinely don't know what Liandrin is up to at any given moment, and that's fantastic. I'm so happy to not have one single clue.
I mean, she has a son? PLOT TWIST. And a tidy way to show the consequences of an Aes Sedai's longer life. I totally thought that was a put-on to manipulate Nynaeve, but, no, it really wasn't. She was genuinely pissed at being followed. And she seemed honestly upset when she thought Nynaeve was dead. She didn't even rub Mat's nose in it, and she could have — totally surprising.
I don't know what she's up to with Min and getting Mat away from the Tower. I love it. I'm interested in Liandrin and I never thought I would be.
• Mat — I liked Barney Harris as Mat, but there is a lightness to Dónal Finn that is more Mat to me. When he's ticking off the sounds Liandrin makes as she leaves, I said "oh there he is" that's Mat the trickster. The thing with Mat is he's not as cynical as he wants everybody to think he is, and I think Dónal conveys that really nicely. And he did a really nice job of carrying on the body language and speech rhythm Barney established. Smooth transition, A+.
Was kind of hoping we'd get to see him beat the snot out of Galad and Gawyn, but I'll get over my disappointment. Maybe it can happen later.
And now's about time for his luck to turn, so I'm super eager to see how they do that.
• Min — another character who's become actually interesting. She bored me to tears in the books. Please, give her something to do other than moon over a guy and wear boys clothes. Christ she was dull. There were moments where you almost might think RJ was going to do something with her and then they'd go away. This Min is much more interesting already, just by virtue of us not having to hear endlessly how wacky and weird she is for wearing trousers. Also, what's Liandrin got over her that she's been pressed into service to take Mat away from the Tower? Thrilled to not know.
Also, did not know I needed Mat and Min as disaster road-trip buddies, but now I desperately need that. The potential for chaos and mayhem with them together is just sky high. Please and thank you.
• Moiraine — sometimes I just think to myself "how on Earth did they get Rosamund Pike?" Like, amazing. Brilliant. A tremendous actress giving so much depth to a complicated character. She was so wholly Moiraine the second we first saw her.
One of my favorite things through season one is how she gets progressively more disheveled as things go. By the time they get to Fal Dara she's a sleep-deprived hot mess. She's pouring everything she has into what she thinks is that last push to drive off the Dark One once and for all, that thing she's given twenty years of her life to, and … it wasn't enough. Not only that, but she lost 'control' of Rand and lost the One Power. Sister is in a pure, desperate spiral at the start of season 2. And you just feel it every time you look at her.
And now she's being both self-flagellating and an unbelievable bitch. I feel sure that there's a well much closer to Verin and Adeleas's place, but no, she's got to go hiking halfway through the countryside to get her own bath water. Also that dig at Lan about having Tomas check her horse because she doesn't want her saddle to slip … damn. You really did that to him? He's more patient than she deserves. Of course, that's also got to be insanely frustrating for her because he just won't Go Away and leave her to her misery and obsessive hunt for whatever will make her feel more in control of The End of the World.
Moiraine is all about control and right now she is hanging on by her fingernails. Which are bloody and torn what with the lugging buckets of water halfway across Arafel every day. Really Moiraine? Where's Siuan to tell her to pull herself together already? And stop being cruel to Lan.
Poor guy. When she said you were never equals, Lan, she meant she was never equal to you! You're both big dummies and you need to stop being dummies right now. I did love Tomas, Adeleas, and Verin all being like "use your words, guys. could you please just actually use your words and talk to each other? light, you're both children'. Because, yes.
I imagine that, particularly after the fight with the Fades, she is feeling very helpless. She couldn't save Lan. She couldn't do anything. She had to watch him almost get killed and she was helpless. Oh, but, threatening to force the bond to Alanna, though, so low, Moiraine. So low. It was low in the books, too, but had the extra vicious twist here of being an active threat. Sure, it's understandable, she wasn't going to let him go off and get himself killed for no reason. She doesn't care if she dies, but she cares very much if he does. FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST SHIP GUYS! But, still, it's a pretty crummy way to treat him.
• Lan -- bb I'm so sorry your bff is being mean to you. She's just going through some stuff. You should absolutely throw her in a lake again. IJS.
• Verin — fabulous casting. And it was a nice way to introduce her. Making her and Adeleas sisters and sort of compressing that little side quest of Moiraine's.
I don't want this show to be a shot for shot remake of the books. I'd actually hate that. There's a lot in the books that could have been trimmed or condensed. And in a show with finite space, it's absolutely a necessity. So, I find it interesting to see how they introduce things in the show. They seem to be hitting major beats, but sometimes moving around how they happen, or even creating events that maybe weren't in the books, but do the job of explaining something that took 500 pages of description or introspection. Perrin's wife, for example, which gives the character a good reason to be worried he might hurt somebody accidentally. Something beyond "he was big".
Anyway, in the books Moiraine goes to the two sisters to dig through their library. In the show she does the same, but one of the sisters is now Verin, because honestly, why introduce yet another character that you won't really see again when you can use the time to introduce one you will? Same with Alanna/Myrelle — blending them is a smart choice and serves several story beats instead of one.
And the casting, though! I didn't recognize her from her headshot (and I'm terrible with names), but when I heard her voice I knew who she was immediately. Meera Syal is so great. They're doing so amazing with casting. Good job everybody. Really good job.
I also liked Verin's little bit about how oaths have loopholes. They've been cagey about if Moiraine is actually stilled or just cut off. They're kind of acting like actually stilled, but I have to believe the vagueness is intentional. But, if she's been stilled, oaths are broken. Does Moiraine realize that yet, or suspect it?
• Elayne — finally, the Daughter Heir. And she's so freaking adorable, I can't stand it. I don't know what I expected, but her pure, shining cuteness is delightful. She's like season 1 Jemma Simmons (agents of shield) in a fantasy world. "You're my subject! Let's be best friends forever! I've made novice-cell hooch under my bed!" Heh.
I love her. I love that she took the stripes for whoever let her bring in her servants, I love that she stayed with Egwene in the room with the arches, I love that she's got a lot of understanding and even patience for the people around her. She's a good egg, that Elayne.
MILD BOOK SPOILER I told my roommate (who's only read a couple of the books and didn't like them at all) that there's a whole circus side quest in the books and she immediately said, "it was Elayne's idea, wasn't it?" Heh. Oh please, please keep this in the show. I beg whoever needs to be begged.
• Selene — Excellent casting again. I thought she'd be more difficult for me to buy into, but no, I get it.
Does Rand not think to ask how she gets him into a party full of nobility? Or is he just so hyperfixated on getting Logain his wine it doesn't occur to him? Yes, sure, she distracts him with sexy times, too. And, okay, Rand isn't always the most observant knife in the drawer, bless him, but still. Rand, you dummy.
I do hope we get the flicker worlds in some manner. Perhaps when Rand takes himself off to his next location.
• Logain — Nice, I like this choice. He's too good to put on the shelf for a whole season or two anyway. Better than having him mope in the Tower, besides. This was one of those scenes were my roommate asked if this was in the books and I said no, but after I stopped to think a second, I had to say that it kind of is. It's different, but hits points from the books.
Interesting he still thinks he might be the Dragon. Again, really nice to see character building outwards, even in little details, like the wine. There's not enough of that for secondary characters in the books. Of course, there's 9 million characters in the books, so that's less a complaint and more an observation.
• The Old Sword Master — I like this too. There was no way to really have Rand cool his heels in Fal Dara for long enough to have Lan teach him the sword. This is a good way to do it, and his time with the man speaks to Rand's compassion and gentleness.
• Rand — overall we're easing into his story. I don't have much to say extra. Pleased to see the red coat, obviously. Pleased to seem him get his first, very confused, taste of the Game. He might be a little thick, but he's trying his best, okay?
• Egwene — very into building her own character! Loving the chores! Probably not much different from back home, but the promise of doing Greater Things as an Aes Sedai. Not super a lot to say yet. As far as the Tower concerns, the first three eps were very much about Nynaeve. Oh, did enjoy that tiny taste of foreshadowing. Also enjoyed the look on her face when Elayne said Egwene was her subject.
• Nynaeve — a joy and a delight as ever. I love her and I don't care who knows it. Is she abrasive? Yes. Contrary? You bet. Ready to punch, kick, stab, and/or destroy at any given moment for any given reason? Absolutely. She's great.
Her accepted test was more brutal than I was expecting. The first two were understandable, but the last one, when she comes back and still has her hands up as if carrying her child? Man, harsh.
And, she's going to be sooo furious next time she sees Alanna. I can't wait.
Very curious as to what Liandrin has planned for her. I mean, I can guess, but I won't spoil anything here, and this is a new direction. Thrilled to not know about this as well.
• Perrin — he's always kind of been the least interesting of the Emond's Fielders to me. Sorry, guy. He has his moments, sure, but mostly in the books I find him just an awful lot of introspection and 'refusal of the call' to the point that it's all very circular and boring.
Giving him the visions as they track the dark friends is a nice twist. It's unclear if it's a wolf thing or a ta'veren thing. Like I don't think Elyas is having visions exactly like Perrin's, more that he can smell what happened. Like Hurin did. I loved Hurin but I get using Elyas instead. There's only so much room for so many characters, and Elyas has a purpose for Perrin, more than Hurin did.
Also liked Ishamael giving Perrin a real reason to fear the wolves. Spared 1000 pages of Perrin tortured introspection! Hurrah!
Fade on the door! Fade on the door! I forgot about that until that bit. That was awesome. Never stop being a creepy fuck, no-spoilers-person-who-nailed-a-Fade-to-a-door.
Things that could have been better:
• I was a little unclear on where Perrin and the Shienarans where and when they reached the coast I was surprised. They could be a little better at establishing locations. I think only the Fore Gate in Cairhien got a chyron. I know amazon has a little map in x-ray but I should need that to figure out where things are happening. I mean, I guess I could have figured it by doing the 'five months gone' math. But still, I shouldn't have to do math.
• I would like, overall, for the ta'veren to start feeling a little more ta'veren-y. Let's start seeing some random ass wtf-ery. They actually seem to have backed off the notion of ta'veren and I'd rather they didn't. That was sort of the point.
Alanna brings it up a little bit, that the Wheel is turning out weapons for the last battle and all, but a weapon is not the same thing as ta'veren. But I suppose it's early, Rand has not yet even begun to really mess with the pattern, so fingers crossed.
• Uno. Like. Come on. I don't even.
• Kind of wanted the Seanchan soldiers to look more buggy. They do look very horrible and terrifying, so there's that. I suppose it's a choice.
Also, it's going to be awfully hard to disguise oneself as a sul'dam, if one were to want to do such a thing.
• I don't really like the damane's pacifiers. I get the point of wanting to visually drive home the point that they've been entirely dehumanized, but I think it just looks stupid.
This is long and I'm sleepy and I guess I've said all the things I wanted to say. For now anyway.
Good start! Welcome back show! I am very pleased.
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Why did you start writing horror short stories? You've probably told me before but I'd like to hear again!
Hmmm.
I started writing by writing really awful poetry starting in 5th or 6th grade. I remember in 7th grade English we had to write poems and the teacher read out some of his favorites and he wanted to read one of mine but I said no. That's just how I am.
Anyway, that experience still ruled, because someone in that class wrote something incredible and I was envious.
Well, anyway, one day I overheard a classmate who I respected kinda trashing my poetry, and he was right about it, so I stopped doing poetry and started writing stories. So I was like 13 when that happened, and I was regarded as one of the "emo kids" even if I didn't look the part because I was mentally ill. And also I grew up on like, Invader Zim and the older, edgier Nicktoons, so I was predisposed to writing darker stories.
Almost all of my writing from that era should actually survive on my deviantArt account. I wouldn't recommend it.
I wouldn't necessarily term that writing "horror," though. I was reading more (and therefore getting inspired by) Ayn Rand and Thomas Pynchon at the time (in 9th and 11th grade, respectively), so I wrote more self-consciously metafictional and postmodern stories, for better or worse. So I went from, like, imagining the minds of different fucked up killers to writing a sort of extension of "Six Characters in Search of an Author" mixed with Saw or something.
I sorta stopped writing as I attended college. I joined Tumblr with the fucking url "hewritesthings" and I never wrote things. The last thing I wrote before college was a choose-your-own-adventure-style thread on 4chan's /x/ that turned into a horror comedy piece where an evil flying penis monster was trying to summon John Cusack. That thread got archived.
After I finished grad school, it took me months to get back to reading, let alone writing. The person I was dating at the time and I had been talking about our OCs extensively for years, so I started writing slice of life stories about them as much as I could. Around the time I made this a habit was around the time I started thinking more seriously about what I wanted to do with my writing. At some point I decided I wanted to be published.
I think my repertoire was actually more sci-fi speculative than anything, as a lot of what I wanted to write was actually shit related to technology, as prompted by my Digital Humanities courses in grad school. I had a ton of good ideas I wanted to do for all these different sci-fi concepts, but none really panned out.
Around 2019, though, a few things happened. I joined Mastodon for a while and on the instance I was on I met another writer whose speculative work was inspiring to me. I thought of her as a rival, in a way, as well as a friend. The inspiration she gave me inspired me to write some of the work that I feel denote the transition to my current writing style--"Maintenance," which uses tech to enforce gender binaries in a way verging on horror, as well as the Twines I (at least, at one time) had in my itch page, particularly the one about bleeding out as you hang out with your friend at the mall. That was a bit too self-aware to be horror, but the later Twines I wrote about myself were definitely more in that vein.
Then, for NaNoWriMo, I threw out the initial concept I was developing about life on a space colony and ad-libbed a story about a person with edible skin.
This protagonist stuck with me, and the next year, as my relationship was clearly becoming toxic, I wrote a story expressing my frustrations, using that character as a base. I wrote it for an anthology of queer horror called Skulls & Spells, and it was accepted--my first publication. As part of the promotion for the book, all the authors collected in it answered a few interview questions that they posted on their Kickstarter; these questions were all about horror. And as I answered those questions, I realized that horror was simply the best way to tell queer stories the way I felt they needed to be told.
Because for me, queerness is monstrousness, but it's not right to make that monstrousness empowering. Rather, to be a queer monster, one must be a victim, must be falling apart, must refuse power and wholeness and identity altogether. Every queer story must be a horror story because it cannot fit comfortably within lived (heteronormative) experience.
As such, what got me writing horror was more a long process, fragmented and fitful, of finding myself in my writing and exploring my own philosophies, artistic or otherwise. It's not a grand tale--I was 13 and wrote about creepy forests or some shit to writing about gay robots in my 20s to now focusing on body horror as I hit 30--but it's a process that's still developing.
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