#because I don t get how people see one of my fav and it's like this

[iamhereinthebg]

Deactivating anons again I am tired

Leave me alone tbhk fandom

I honestly don't even know why I continue posting

[jvnluvr]

blue lock boys when they are drunk ♡

when the blue lock boys come home drunk, all they want is you.

ft. sae, rin & kaiser x f!reader

author’s note: im a sucker for my favs okay? fluffiest fluff i’ve ever written i almost cried ten different times send help hsish. also thank you all for 100 followers, i love u all sm mwah. i’m working on requests, they will come soon! otherwise please enjoy <33

itoshi sae:

god, he didn’t even know how he ended up in this position. all sae could remember was losing his game, walking out of that stadium with his usual blank expression, but then his legs took him to the nearest bar. he’s so drunk, heck, he even remembers smoking a cigarette or two while he was chugging down everything. he's overcome with a lot of emotions, but then he remembers.

he wants to go home. he’s up, and he’s walking home. it’s late, its dark, yet he’s still able to somehow manage to get to the front step before he knocks on the door, holding onto it because he’ll fall if he doesn’t. that’s when you open the door and sae falls into your arms. "sae-? what happened?" you ask, trying your best to not let him fall while shutting the door.

you already knew he lost, you were obviously watching the streamed game. but when sae loses, he shuts everyone out for a day at the very least. however, it's weird to find him falling onto you, at your doorstep, and incredibly late at night. he smells like cigarettes, and that's when you understand what is going on.

"sit down, i'll get you water." you guide him to the couch, slowly trying to let go of his arm so you can lie down, but he doesn't let go of you. instead, he pulls you down with him so you're lying down on top of him. "uh, what's this about? you gonna talk to me..?" to say you're confused right now is kind of an understatement. sae hasn't spoken a word to you since he entered, just mindless grumbles and sighs until now, where it's almost like he's searching into your eyes for something.

"y'know, you're a whole lot prettier up close, right?"

what..?

your eyes probably looked bugged right now. you know he's not sober, but when people are drunk, their true feelings come out. sae's never really been an openly affectionate man, you knew that from the moment you met him. so hearing him suddenly throw a compliment into your face has you stunned to say the least.

"c'mon don't look at me like that... this is new to me too.." he mumbles, a red tint starting to appear on his cheeks. he grabs you by your waist to sit you on his lap, and you start to turn red too. "seriously, what's gotten into you sae?" you ask quietly, you both letting out a small chuckle as you stare at each other.

"i don' know.. it's your fault." you tilt your head as his one hand intertwines with yours. "you have beautiful eyes too.. you know that?" you let out a little gasp as your eyes avert away from him. you can feel your ears getting hotter and hotter as each seconds by. now you're actually worried, since when has he thought of these things?

sae put a hand on your cheek to turn you back to him. he has that soft smile plastered onto his face. your gaze softens as he continues talking to you. "you've always had.. that bright light in your eyes... even the first night we met. 't was what got me so interested in you." you bite your lip at that, small water drops forming into your eyes. it wasn't possible for your heart to not melt as those words. "the only thing.. i could think about.. was how much i liked you. how much my heart yearned for you. for how happy i am, to have you in my life now."

he wipes a tear of yours while eliciting that little soft but deep chuckle you always adored. "c'mon, don't cry, was just being honest.." he hugged you, burying his face into your neck and closing his eyes. you were almost certain that after that the alcohol consumed him, that he was too drowsy to even remember all the words he just said. but it's okay. for the chance you got to see itoshi sae confess his love in his own way. you whispered out an "i love you' before falling asleep beside him.

michael kaiser:

"babyy, i'm homee!" yeah, he was definitely slurring over each word he said. you walked out the kitchen, staring as kaiser almost fell atleast 5 times trying to walk over to you. it was hard to try and not laugh at how adorable he was being all tipsy, it was like he was a little child again.

“michael.” you giggled, trying to get him to sit on the chair but you both fell against each other on the floor. “that hurt!” his cheeks are more than just flushed and his eyes are half open. "who are ya, and where's my girlfriend?" to be honest, you were kind of hurt that he couldn't recognize you even while you were right in his face, but kaiser can be a little slow even when sober.

"c'mon michael, 'is me, your girlfriend." you retorted, wrapping your arms around him in an attempt to get him to sit down on a chair. but of course, kaiser being kaiser doesn't want to be apart from you for even a second, so he pulls you onto his lap. "i know, 'was just messin' with ya. i'm not that drunk, y'know?" you could only blankly stare at him as he confessed to that. even the dumbest person alive could tell that lie straight through his teeth.

"you are seriously not gonna tell me you aren't THAT drunk. you slipped over the fuckin' air." you both looked at each other, slightly grinning at that. silence. ah there it is, you both burst out laughing not even a second after, because you know it was true. "honestly though, you REEK of alcohol, go shower or somethin'." you tried getting off his lap, you really did. but does he care? of course not.

"no, 'm gonna stay here, too tired to shower..." you let out a small sigh at that, but if he wasn't going to get into the shower, you weren't going to let him doze off in his uncomfy chair. both of your backs couldn't take that kind of pain right now. "okay okay, we're both tired, let's go to bed, hm?" kaiser quietly grumbled as a counter, not wanting to let you go. at that point, your sounds started to sound more grumpy. you should have dragged him to bed when you had the chance.

"hiii babyy, i love you." kaiser suddenly said, with a smile hanging ear to ear. you didn't know what he was up to, but you just quietly ignored his statement of affection. "you're really cute when you're grumpy," he added, followed by a bunch of little mischievous giggles. "but you're cute all the time, so it makes it absolutelyyy irresistible to stay mad at you." you're so embarrassed by kaiser's sudden overload of compliments that, you start to playfully hit him? one hit to the arm, one hit to the head, and you continue in order to stop being so flustered by the drunk man in front of you.

"ow! i literally said you're cute, why are you hitting me- stop! ow!" even if you were hitting him, kaiser couldn't help but let out more laughs when he realized why you were hitting him. "aww, you're embarrased, aren't ya?" he pressed you for a kiss, but you just put your hand over his mouth to push him back. you couldn't take being more abashed over your extraordinarily drunk boyfriend.

"if you're not gonna accept my love, let me properly confess it, alrightt?" again, you were too afraid to even blurt out a single world in fear of stuttering and having kaiser coo into your ear about how cute you were. so you just looked at him, waiting for him to continue his speech. "got your attention, pretty? i've had a crush on you since the first time i met you, like the biggest crush ever, like the moment i saw you i swear those hearts appeared in my eyes like they do in cartoon shows." he was stuttering as the alcohol was still rushing in his system, but kaiser sounded like a little boy who had been lovestruck with the mere thought of you.

"you're so stupid sometimes.." you mumbled, but nonetheless giddy with happiness and love. "maybe, but i'm stupidly in love with you." all you could do was let out a sheepish smile before pulling him into a hug. "i love you.." and that was followed with snores. you didn't really plan on how to move kaiser out of this awkward position, but what you did know that he was a pretty cute lovestruck man when he was drunk.

itoshi rin:

rin isn't one to typically get drunk, he's not even one to have maybe more than three shots of alcohol at most. but tonight, he went completely overboard. maybe the drinks just tasted good, maybe he had lost his mind. not the matter of how he got drunk, but he was stumbling into your shared apartment when you just barely saw you peeking through your bedroom door through his blurry eyes.

"rin, are you okay..?" you murmured, slowing walking towards him. "mm, 'm fine, were you sleeping?" even if he was on the verge of passing out, rin was one of those guys who was able to maintain his composure. he didn't like how he felt, so he stride towards the kitchen, aching for a glass of water. "was waiting for you, did you drink, rin?" he turned around to see you standing there waiting for him.

"mhm, sorry, don't know what got over me. wait in the room for me, i'll be in there soon." he replied, turning back around to put his glass in the sink, but when he shifted back, he could still see you waiting his in peripheral vision. "what are you waiting for, [name]?" rin asked, still feeling the horrible effects of the alcohol continuing to flow through his blood stream. "i told you, 'm waiting for you." you knew that if you went back, he would fall asleep on the nearby couch, heck even fall and just pass out on the floor, he was drunk out of his mind.

"alright, c'mon let's go." he slowly trailed behind you, the cold air hitting him in the face when he realized he feels way too hot. rin slowly discards his jacket and his shirt, moving to lie down with you. but the one thing he couldn't help but notice is that you didn't make direct eye contact with him, your eyes are averted in every direction except his, why is that? maybe the reason he hated alcohol so much is because of what it does to him. he wants your attention, he craves for your touch, it's weird to him.

so rin extends his arm towards you, he has a hold on your waist before you're too close to him. "what's wrong..?" he examines you, how you're still not looking into his eyes. "look at me, why aren't you looking at me honey?" he's surprised that it does the trick, because your eyes are finally in his direct field of view, and his heart melts. "nothin', just thought you might have wanted to sleep, so didn't wanna' bother you." you answered shyly, realizing now that he wanted nothing more than you. it's silent for a bit, just the both of you in each other's embrace, lying down in the dark.

"mm, you don't bother me, you know that?" he starts, rin doesn't realize that all of sudden he's rambling to you. "i say you shouldn't be nervous but the truth is.. i'm always a bit nervous around you. we've been together for a while but.. i don't know.. i just.. always want to know more about you. it drives me insane sometimes, 'cause i don't usually care about people like that. but for you i just-" he's pulling you closer into your chest, noticing how your grip tightens on him as he continues speaking. "i just want to know every tiny detail about you. i notice the small things about you. the way your smile goes slightly down, you touch the tip of your eyes when your embarrassed, and you always touch the same spot-" he intertwines his hands with yours, rubbing over the spot he's just about to mention. "you always touch the same spot of your hand when you're focused. i pay attention to those things because i care about you, i hope you knew that."

"rin.." you whisper, it's all you could physically verbalize. but all you could feel were the hot tears you were spilling onto his chest. you felt guilty, quickly trying to wipe them away, but he looked down to hush your sobs. "'m sorry, didn't wanna make you cry. i meant it though, even if i don't say it much." it's undeniable that you just want to be even closer to him than humanely possible, you wouldn't dare think of even letting him go for a second after that. "i think you should get drunk more often," which dragged a small string of chuckles from you two. "being drunk sucks, but we can compromise and i'll try and tell you how much i love and want to be with you more, yea?" rin shared, fumbling over his words. yep, still definitely drunk.

"mhm, go to sleep now, 'kay?" you acknowledged, content with how tonight turned out to be. "you go to sleep too, i love you." and rin let himself pass out in the comfort of your presence. not only until a few moments later could you say 'i love you' back, but he was secretly waiting to fall asleep until he heard confirmation of your feelings.

[smellslikechahnspirit]

Introduction to Stray Kids, SKZ

[for my baby-STAY bestie, Nyll]

From what I know personally. Don´t hate me for knowing more about some than others lol. Feel free to comment fun facts about YOUR bias, maybe I´ll add them here!

DISCLAIMER: For anyone reading this, this article is how I preceive the skz members, some of it might be a personal opinion, so might NOT be factual!

STRAY KIDS

Entertainment company: JYP Entertainment. Their debut was on March 25, 2018. They had a survival show a year prior to that. Chris (Bang Chan) is the one who formed the group by himself, which was unusual, since normally the company does that. So if it wasn´t for Chris, the group may have contained completely different people. The company trusted him enough to do so. The group debuted as a group of 9 members but one member had left in 2019 due to personal reasons. (If you want tea about that, text me.)

Fandom name: STAY (August 1st is our bday.)

Members: 8

Hyung line (eldests): Bang Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin.

Maknae line (youngests): Han, Felix, Seungmin, I.N.

Units: 3.

First Unit: 3RACHA: Consists Bang Chan, Changbin and Han. ( The OG unit. This is the unit who creates all their music. Without them the group basically wouldn´t exist. They write, produce, arange and more.) Before making music for SKZ they made music for themselves. You can still listen to those songs on Youtube. That was more rap based.

Second Unit: Dance Racha: Consists Lee Know, Felix and Hyunjin (Since there are 3 members leading in dance. They made a joke to call it a unit, but I feel like it´s a real thing now.)

Third Unit: Vocal Racha: Consists Seungmin and I.N (Same thing here, they are main vocals, that´s why.)

It´s called Racha, because of the sauce, sriracha. Cuz they´re hot.

Current Dorm Arrangement: Dorm 1: Bang Chan & I.N Dorm 2: Lee Know & Han Dorm 3: Changbin & Hyunjin Dorm 4: Seungmin & Felix The 4 dorms are located within 5 minutes walk from each other. 

Mascotte: SKZOO (Let´s see if you can match them to the right member)

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I will introduce the members in age sequence from eldest to youngest. I picked the photos from the ATE album photoshoot. I will type anything that comes to mind. I amazed myself of how much info I know about them. It´s kinda disturbing if you think about it...I need to get a life UWU.

방찬 Bang Chan:

Stage Name: Bang Chan (방찬) Birth Name: Christopher Chahn Bahng Korean Name: Bahng Chan (방찬)

Age: 27 [ October 3rd, 1997 ]

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Height: 171 cm

MBTI Type: ENFJ-T

Nationality: Korean-Australian

Representative Animal: Wolf

Position: Leader, Producer, Vocalist, Dancer, Rapper

Unit: 3RACHA

Instagram: @ gnabnahc

A bit about Chrissy:

As you know, this man is my bias. A bias is what you call a member who is your favorite. So for you that currently is Changbin Chrissy is also my Ult. Ult means Ultimate, as in your fav member, amoungst all the kpop groups you stan.

Chris likes sports and is very athletic. He can do it all.

Strong, fast, smart, sweet, truely kind, determent, ambitious, hard working, shy, empathic, loyal.

If there is one thing that he loves, it´s the ocean. This man is a true aussie and misses his home alot. But he knows what he gave it all up for. Stray kids.

The group he basically created. He was very young when he moved from Australia to Korea to become a trainee at JYP. He trained for 7 years. He had a hard time seeing his other trainee friends come and go, and became a very cold person. Because he bascially protected himself from being hurt like that again. Towards his members he was also very strict and cold in the beginning, since he loved them too much and wanted them all to succeed. He never wanted one of his friends to leave again, so he worked so hard, day and night to make the group as big as it has become today. I personally stanned them since 2017 and I remember him being that way. Everyone was a bit scared of him lol. But he also tried showing lots of love too. Nowadays that coldness is pretty much gone and nothing but love comes from this man. Although he doens´t forget his position as leader.

He takes care of everything regarding the group and is the first one responsable. There is an insane amount of pressure on him, but he always tells us, that he can handle it. He knows himself better then we do, and we have to take his word for it.

Chris loves Pokemon and One Piece a lot. He watches a lot of Anime. He isn´t that good in gaming, from what I´ve heard from the other members. He says otherwise. TFT is his current fav mobile game. He also has been playing Genshin and he said the new character Xilonen is hot. Besides playing games, Chris usually is just working.

He is a very flirty person on Bubble, but he claims he doesn´t know what flirting is.

He can play the guitar and the piano.

He is double jointed.

Favorite song is Rewrite the stars by Zendaya and Zac Efron.

He hates his thin curly hair. He hates his height. He hates his face card. Basically he doesn´t love himself. Which I don´t get, but us stays cannot change his mind.

He used to do Live streams every Sunday. Called Channie´s Room. I have watched them all since 2019 until it ended last year. He quit those AMAZING lives due to unclear reasons, but I have a feeling it had something to do with- (ask me in real life, it´s too controversial to say on here lol.)

His favorite color is blue. Blue, like the ocean.

He has a little brother and sister. He really looks up to his dad. He wants to be like him one day. He has a dog named Berry.

Chris used to swim. And he is still pretty good at it. But he rarely gets the chance to do it anymore. Nowadays he likes to play soccer or as he likes to say, footy.

He is addicted to his phone.

He doesn´t have a favorite food but he likes anything with meat. Especially the lamb ribs his dad makes for him on the bbq. He had a phase that he only ate Vietnamese Pho. He likes gelatto and he likes the flavour pistachio. Does not drink alcohol or coffee.

He barely sleeps, like ever.

He is friends with a lot of famous people, including Ryan Reynolds. He loves the Deadpool movies. But he took note, to never watch it together with STAY again. He did it once, on Christmas...and got shy when the explicit scene came on. Dork.

He is very rich lmao and currently wears a lot of clothes by Fendi. He used to only wear black clothes from head to toe. But this year he has really improved on his style and figuering out what looks good on him.

Thinks it´s funny to eat spicy noodles even though he can´t take the spiciness. Idiot.

He has a candle warmer with the candle Vanilla Creme brulee underneath it from Yankee.

His favorite season is Autumn.

When he was young he had issues with anxiety. He couldn´t even leave his house. He was affraid to talk to people. But he took his mom as an example and started acting the way she did and overcame his fears.

Also in his trainee years, he dealt with depression (Insert the song 42 by 3RACHA.) He sometimes still feels depressed, and overthinks a lot during the night. But he said, he can take it.

His motto: Just enjoy.

I could keep going for like 44482779837383843 more pages about stupid little things I know about this man, but let´s not lmao. I´ll spare you.

Click here to see random Chris moments!

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리노 Lee Know

Stage Name: Lee Know (리노) Birth Name: Lee Min Ho (이민호)

Age: 25 [ October 25th, 1998 ]

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Height: 172 cm

MBTI Type: ISFP

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Rabbit

Position: Dance leader, Dancer, Vocalist, Rapper

Unit: DanceRacha

Instagram: @ t.leeknowsaurus

A bit about Lino:

He used to be a back-up dancer for BTS.

He has 3 cats and is obsessed with them. Sooni, Doongi, and Dori.

He often comes off as a mean person, cause he likes teasing the other members. But he has a heart of gold and would take care of you the best.

He is hubbie material frfr. He can cook really good too!

Afraid of heights.

Has weird dreams.

Doesn´t speak English very well, but he is learning! In English interviews he often seems lost, because he simply is.

In the survival show, he got elleminated. In the end JYP gave him one last chance and he made the final cut.

He can´t actually swim, so in variety shows where they go into the water, he always has a floaty.

His motto: Let’s eat well and live well.

I do know more things, but none that are really important right now.

Click here to see random Lino moments!

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창빈 Changbin

Stage Name: Changbin (창빈) Birth Name: Seo Chang Bin (서창빈)

Age: 25 [ August 11th, 1999 ]

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Height: 167 cm

MBTI Type: ESTP

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Pabbit (Pig & Rabbit)

Position: Rapper, Vocalist, Producer

Unit: 3RACHA

Instagram: @ jutdwae

A bit about Binnie:

Okay so I don´t know a lot about this man.

He loves the gym! He has been working out for years and loves being strong. But he doenst have abs, or so he claims. That´s why he never shows skin on stage. But he said he was working on it!

He is actually really kawaii. He likes pink and such. But in the beginning he was all dark and bad boy vibes. He still claims black is his favorite color.

He likes horror movies.

Girl group dances are his specialty.

Sassy.

His motto: Let’s live with a positive mind, enjoy the life.

Cries on rollarcoasters.

Click here to see random Binnie moments!

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현진 Hyunjin

Stage Name: Hyunjin (현진) Birth Name: Hwang Hyun Jin (황현진) English Name: Sam Hwang

Age: 24 [ March 20th, 2000 ]

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Height: 179 cm

MBTI Type: ESTP

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Ferret

Position: Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist, Visual

Unit: Dance Racha

Instagram: @ hynjinnnn

A bit about Jinnie:

Hyunjin is a great dancer, but also a great painter! He makes amazing paintings and shares them on Bubble and Instagram.

A walking meme.

Dramaqueen.

He lived in Las Vegas for a while as a kid.

Allergic to cat furr.

Almost joined a cult by accident when he first moved to Korea.

He hates onions and eggplant.

Screams loudly and is overall chaotic.

Sleeptalker.

His motto: Let’s try even when you regret it later.

Click here to see random Jinnie moments!

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한 Han

Stage Name: Han (한) Birth Name: Han Ji Sung (한지성) English Name: Peter Han

Age: 24 [ September 14th, 2000 ]

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 169 cm

MBTI Type: ISTP

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Quokka

Position: Rapper, Vocalist, Producer

Unit: 3RACHA

Instagram: @ _doolsetnet

A bit about Hannie:

A complete rockstar.

The first member to be chosen by Chris.

Writes beautiful lyrics.

Likes the color red.

Plays electric guitar live on stage.

He stayed in Malaysia for a while as a teen. That´s why his english is pretty good, but he has a british accent, since that´s how they teach it there.

I don´t remember the story completly correctly, but I feel like I remember him saying that he almost got eaten by a crocodile in Malaysia once. I could be wrong lmao.

Had some issues with anger and anxiety, but is doing well nowadays!

When he lays down he usually falls asleep.

I feel like he is a very emotional person. I feel a strong connection with him since he has been through a lot of the same things as I have. Latety he has been doing well though.

Struggled with panic attacks as well. (Insert my connection to him.)

His motto: This too, shall pass.

Click here to see random Hannie moments!

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필릭스 Felix

Stage Name: Felix (필릭스) Birth Name: Felix Lee (이 필릭스) Korean Name: Lee Yong Bok (이용복)

Age: 24 [ September 15th, 2000 ]

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 171 cm

MBTI Type: ENFJ

Nationality: Korean-Australian

Representative Animal: Chick

Position: Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist

Unit: Dance Racha

Instagram: @ yong.lixx

A bit about Lixxie:

Our second aussie man.

Just like Chris, from Sydney. He must miss his home as well, but talks about it less.

That´s also why Chris and him are so close. Chris said he feels like a brother to him. And he loves talking English with him, so he doesn´t lose his aussie accent. Even though Felix his accent is already much thicker than Chris´s.

An actual nugget. He is so tiny asdfghjkl.

FRECKLES!!!

Fun fact, he was my first bias back in 2017.

He is ambassador for Louis Vuiton.

He is Catholic.

Very flexable.

Felix is a 3rd degree black belt at taekwondo, he won a lot of medals when he was young.

He can make a spot on Mosquito sound.

Blue is his favorite color.

He had to learn Korean within a couple of months, and did it.

He HATES scary stuff.

Chocolate abs.

His hands are very tiny.

He loves doing ASMR.

Baking! He loves baking but especially brownies and cookies.

Build his own PC and Keyboard.

Loves gaming. Obsessed with Genshin these days.

He always gives the other members massages.

He always cheats in every game.

Obsessed with Changbin.

Just like Minho, he got ellimenated in their survival show. In the end he also got a second chance and made the final cut as well.

His motto: Just a little braver.

Click here to see random Lix moments!

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승민 Seungmin

Stage Name: Seungmin (승민) Birth Name: Kim Seung Min (김승민)

Age: 24 [ September 22nd, 2000 ]

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 178 cm

MBTI Type: ISFJ

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Dog

Position: Vocalist

Unit: Vocal Racha

Instagram: @ miniverse.___

A bit about Minnie:

Okay so don´t come at me, but I simply don´t know much about him besides that he is realy sweet and feels betrayed fast is the members prank him. But he will return the favour. He is a menace.

He went to the same high school as Chris.

He loves singing covers.

I also remember something between him and baseball, he liked playing.

His motto: Today you spent in vain is the day as tomorrow someone who passed away really wants to live through.

Click here to see random Min moments!

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아이엔 I.N

Stage Name: I.N (아이엔) Birth Name: Yang Jeong In (양정인)

Age: 23 [ February 8th, 2001 ]

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Height: 172 cm

MBTI Type: INFJ

Nationality: Korean

Representative Animal: Fennec Fox

Position: Vocalist, Maknae (Maknae means youngest)

Unit: Vocal Racha

Instagram: @ i.2.n.8

A bit about Innie:

Same here, I don´t know too much about our little Maknae. And when I say little, I mean not at all little, actually. This tiny nugget really grew up in front of our eyes, and is now a man.

Huge hands.

Litterly has one of the purest hearts.

Has the sweetest softest smile and voice.

During the survival show he got really insecure and was worried he would be ´´poison´´ to the group.

I.N is a Catholic.

He is known to be one of the cleanest members.

His motto: Let’s have a good time!

Click here to see random Ayen moments!

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Sorry if I didn´t write as much for all of them. I love ALL members equally. But I just know my biasses better than others. Hope you enjoyed babes! I want you to know that I appreciate it a lot that you listen and watch the content they make, because you know how much I love and care about these men. For any other people who might be reading this...hi :)

Credits of videos and photos go to the op

[smtsmtblablabla]

Things I loved about the third season and things I, personally, would have made different:

Loved:

Penelope and Colin´s romance. They were sweet and honest and just very, very lovely. They were truly able to convey the friends to lovers arc in the best way possible.

The Featheringtons. For me they were the true stars of the season. They were funny but also able to grow, even with so little screen time. I demand more of the Keeping up with the Featheringtons, please.

Portia. Oh my, she was just brilliant this season. Her conversations with Penelope, her grownth, were spectacular. She became one of my favorite characters.

Penelope and Eloise. It felt very... realistic, how they handled the fall and the reconciliation between them. Eloise in particular spent most of the season torn between her love for Pen, her anger and finally her understanding. Making them at peace with each other but still apart in the end was the best decision for me. It feels natural, honest and healthy. They clearly have space in their lifes for one another once more, and now they can get closer again in a more mature way.

The pacing of the secondary plots. The show has a history of creating dozens of secondary plots and fumbling with them most of the time. Now, for me at least, they finally seemed balanced, but that migth just be because I was truly captivated by all of them.

the fact that Pen kept writing. Like, YES! Colin gets to be a published author but so does she! Sick of women having to give up on their dreams because of marriage.

The costumes. I loved how they went full camp this season, sue me.

Things I would have made different.

How they treated Cressida´s story. I was cheering for her at the end, I will admit. As much as I don´t apreciate her coming for my girl Pen, I could see and understand her desperation. I truly wished she could have been sucessful in her plan of running away to vienna. Maybe she could have robbed her father, or was able to recive the money for her Whistledown issue, Idk. But I wish she could have had a happier ending, not as the villain once more. I felt shallow and cheap, after all we have seen from her this season.

I missed Madame Delacroix, wanted more of her and pen together.

It is very obvious that the next season is going to be Benedict´s, with the masquerade ball being mentioned and all, so I would have soft lauched Sophie already. A small scene on the 7th episode, when the ton recives the 2 whistledown issues, of staff people reading and commenting too, and then we see Sophie, maybe in first plan so we know we need to look at her, maybe someone calls her by name. Very unassuming, seemingly random, but the fans would understand.

I think thats all. In large, I loved the season, Penelope has always been my fav character and iit was great to finally see her taking the spotlight!

[aealzx]

I was curious i stumbled upon your blog from seeing your fic the 03 crossover on ao3. I do remember seeing the art on here. Since he’s my personal fav i wanted to ask. What’s your opinion on Raph? I mean for both iterations ROTMNT and 03.

Yes I post CDK on both here and AO3 8’D

And oh boy, buckle up kiddo I have a lot of opinions on dear Raphie *cracks fingers*

(jk it's actually not that long even under the cut X'D)

TLDR:

2003 Raph: Summed up Raph is home, safety, and warmth wrapped in an awkward bubble that doesn’t word well but will absolutely fight for those who deserve it.

Rise Raph: An adorable puppy that I look up to when it comes to dealing with people and selflessness for the sake of others, and I would adopt him in a heartbeat and smother him with plushies because he's such a good boy.

More in depth thoughts in a scrambled mess below the cut.

First, since he’s older

2003 Raph:

I first watched TMNT 2003 when I was a youngish teenager I think, and I will fully admit I was a little afraid of Raph at that time 8’D I have a really bad tolerance towards anger, I get freaked out easily and afraid I’ll get hurt or yelled at even if I didn’t do anything wrong. So having Raph portrayed heavily as “the angry one” made it hard for me to get attached to him. BUT, after growing up and watching 2003 just before starting CDK I have gotten soooo attached to Raph. This guy is not “angry” all the time, he’s open, honest, and passionate. This guy is the reason the others get out of the house. He’s the reason the others live and get into the fun times. And while Mikey certainly helps with being the life of the party, Raph is also the shield of everyone who deserves it. This guy is the most dad/big bro out of the four, and while Don could probably take care of a kid the best based on technicalities, Raph is the one that would keep them safe. Raph is home. Raph is the safety net that keeps the family warm. Because while Don is the heart of the group and we know they fall apart without him, Don wouldn’t have a voice without Raph because Don is too soft to fight back when Raph will. Donnie is still my all time favorite of the TMNT 2003 boys, but just barely. If Don is 100/100 on the favorite meter, then Raph is 99/100. He kicked Leo out of the second favorite spot for me on my recent watch.

Rise Raph:My first exposure to Rise Raph was my sister sending me the scene of Raphie crying over not being able to figure out how to help his family after they’d just lost Karai, and I have to admit the only thing I thought was “oh that’s nice, Raph actually cries in this one”. And then I actually watched the show (because sis insisted I watch the movie and I knew I needed context to fully enjoy it) and omg the Rise bros (and April) have the unique case of all being just about equal in my favorites tier. But specifically about Rise Raph this boy is a puppy and also I would adopt him and his family in a heartbeat because he’s also the sweetest lil guy and so good at watching out for others without being smothering. And just like 2003 Raph, Rise Raph is the protector of the family. Not because he happens to be the biggest and therefore the tank class, but because he wants to. I think he finds comfort in others being safe - feeling safe- and having fun. He thrives off taking care of others even though he’s not perfect at it. But him not being perfect, not making the most amazing meals, not being prim and proper, maybe getting a little dirty and bending a few rules, is what makes him charming. He’s not “attempt at being the perfect parent” 2003 Leo, he’s big brother Raphie that will cuddle with you in a mound of soft teddy bears, or throw you across the room in a roughhouse depending on what you need. Sure Leo really knows how to annoy the crap out of him, but I don’t think it’s because Raph thinks Leo is irresponsible or a bad kid. It’s much more infuriating to know that someone can be amazing, but seeing them chose not to, and you don’t know how to help them see they can be so much more than they are. And it’s easy to see that regardless of any of his siblings being annoying there’s nothing they can do that will make him hesitate even slightly in helping them when they need it. I don’t think Raph became a parent to the others like some of the fandom does. I think he’s just an adorable, soft, warm teddy bear big brother that did really well in his part of the whole family keeping each other afloat.

If I had 03 Raph as my uncle and Rise Raph as my brother I would be a lot more outspoken and rather reckless because I would have the upmost confidence that they would have my back and would keep me safe.

[indigo-rants]

Mom: with step brother moving out you're going to have your toys/collections in his old room. No discussions.

Me: I'd prefer having all my stuff in one room adn that be like the study or somthing, but I agree for the forseeable future sure, I guess...

I am a maximalist, a collector of things, a lover of physical items. Her attempts at me losing/getting rid of things have either failed in the long term or caused me to hold onto certain items for far longer than intended. She is a minimalist in her older age (not old age, she's barely almost 50) and her sentimental attachments have either been broken, lost, or become non-existent emotion wise. A lot of things she's held dear in the past 4 years especially have been destroyed by people who were her friends, people we onced considered family (including step brother), and herself due to her bipolar issues (she wasn't medicated til about 2023/2024)

I've done everything possible to ensure the stuff we both owned could be kept safe and away from those wanting to destroy her stuff. My room has always been a no go zone for anyone but me and her (and she barely enters herself past the doorway). Our garage sale has come and gone leading to me getting rid of stuff I didn't want, she didn't want, and airing my room out of certain items that weren't mine. I still have some stuff, but it isn;t over taking my room or limited safe spaces (ie breakables aren't all over my shelves and food cans are finally in one place). This time last year my room was almost falling over in places due to the amount of items everywhere.

Mom doesn't really understand me when it comes to this stuff, I've never had a real chat about it with her past "this is my stuff and I like it", but when I told her about my age regression and she started to see it first hand... it seems like that gave her a sort of answer on this subject... Due to my agere being near purely involuntary she's somehow interpreted my actions as being some kinda mental issue (like a side effect of autism being issues with textures, not an illness or anything in itself).

How do you tell someone that due to the years of having to put your favorite things into boxes adn bags, and go to your other parent's house for so many years just to get the stuff you bring over stolen/broken by the other kids, and have instances where you suddenly need to leave and choose to leave your fav items cause you ahve a younger sister to take care of instead of yourself, that all of that effects you today that all of that... makes you super incapable of letting go of certain things now... I cry just typing this out, I can't physically say any of this...

She judges me every time we pass the toy aisles in stores, every time I look at a plushie, every time I mention one of those things... but also is happy to go shopping with me for that stuff... She enjoys the look on my face when I see something I enjoy, that I can afford it in that moment, she enjoys coming to see me during/after the unboxing process adn seeing whatever little trinket or item I got. When I told her about the new gen of LPS right before my b-day she and my step dad went to roughly 3 walmarts before going to a target and seeing a wall of the stuff. She made sure to look up the codes on the blindboxes that tell you which you got, she snuck me one fo those cats from the blindbox display box, adn when we found the decora girls she helped me with the codes on that one and get a different one when I nearly got a double...

I know she cares, I know she just wants me to be happy, but when she's in a judgmental mood it hurts because previous moments don't matter anymore... it's the here and now adn according to her that often means "getting rid of what's not needed" and making room for what we want for the future. Our christmas/halloween/etc village stuff aren't happening anymore, most if not all are gone, all cause "we don;t need it" and "it takes too much space". I'm glad they didn't go into my sister's closet or their closet with my plushies.... god knows how many I would've seen get sold, given away, or on the final day packed up to be sent to the landfill....

I got 2 plushies ordered from Makeship last month with my step dad's help, she wasn't pleased with my choices, but didn't step in our way... All I can do is hope she doesn't cause a fuss in October/November when I get 3 plushie packages (my sis ordered me a plushie with her money adn I paid her back immediately, it's a long story) and my step dad get's carded fro another one he technically bought me today (makeship petition plush, won't be live til then)...

[yandere-daze]

Anon who sent the multi account ask here- I TOTALLY SQUEALED WHEN I SAW YOU ANSWERED MY ASK :'D Looking back I 100% rambled a lot, and I'm so sorry, but I loved your input and thoughts! ;~; I think it's interesting how the characters don't start out as self aware but gradually remember who you are and the times you've shared.

I lowkey have to wonder if it could open the door to the idols becoming (somehow) even more obsessed with the player 🤔. Like- once they find out that you're fond enough of their world to get the game twice or three times over! To them it could seem like you love them the same way they love you, no? So it only makes sense to be even more cutthroat and vicious in order to get close to you! Like a trigger of sorts for even stranger behavior on their end (for lack of a better term). After all, you just adore them sooooo much! Esp your favs. I know of ppl who spend 100+ or more dollars for their idols and cannot stand not having them in all their accounts. That'd for sure create some airs of superiority.

That aside, I also wanna to say thanks!!! I hope in the future you can humor my self aware au ramblings again >< I just love AUs that are collaborative like this.

Ahh I´m glad to hear you liked the way I expanded on your idea! It always makes me happy when people say that they like what I write, naturally ^^ And don´t worry, rambling is fine because it gives me more to work with!!

gn reader

tw yandere, possessiveness, implied murder(?)

And you´re certainly right about that! You downloading the game several times proves that you didn´t just get it on a whim but that you´ve actually grown to care about them so much that you couldn´t bare to part from them!

And it gets even worse if you still put all the dias you have into your favs on all of your account because in their wishful thinking they´ll absolutely take that as a sign that you must simply adore them if you´re willing to go through so much for them <3

You´re even spending money? Oh, they really wish you didn´t need to but the gacha system and the other characters are trying to prevent them from getting home to you early so at least they´re happy to see that they´re the only one you would spend this amount of money on

Oh, maybe you made multiple accounts just so you could keep going for their cards? Aww, you´re so cute, they just know that you love them as much as they love you! Why else would you put so much of your time into a game? There must be something here that makes you keep playing and they really hope that it´s them

But of course, with you having more than one account that just means they have to be even more on the defense because all the other idols are just itching to get their chance and make you pull for them on a new account. They may have been beathen the first time around but they´re not going to allow it a second time!

So feeling threatened, your fave is sure to get even more intense, maybe even trying to find a way to remove certain lines of code so that their rivals are simply going to disintegrate into nothingness.

You wouldn´t mind, right? Obviously they are your favorite and you don´t need anyone else but them. They´re enough for you just as you are the only person they ever want to look at ever again!

So just let them love you properly without any distractions <3

[mallowstep]

tpons initial/reading thoughts

keeping my "liveblogging" in one place to maintain my mortorium on spoilers

tpons spoilers below the cut. obviously.

prologue

i swear to god if bramblestar comes back and i don't get squirrelstar i might actually seek out the collective representation of erin hunter and kill her

chapter one

bristlefrost.

bristlefrost, can you hear me [1].

jayfeather is under exactly the same stress as alderheart. so either you're implying alder is weak or you're in the "adoption isn't real" camp and i'm neutral on you as a character, i don't want to dislike you.

you know, i thought the scene in mtbnsof where all of thunderclan is like "yeah, let's just exile squirrelflight" [2] was exaggeration, and honestly i spent a long time workshopping it to make sure it felt natural, but apparently i didn't have to do that, because the characters are canonically OK with it!

do y'all want your leader back or bramblestar? (i'm not salty nope not me.) also twigbranch the fuck do you mean "it would be wonderful if bramblestar came back" like what he barely let you stay in thunderclan stfg.

fuck, i can't tell whether or not sparkpelt is denying lionblaze and jayfeather as squilf's kits, but they're really ruining my good faith in adoption. or just proving my point that it's not about adoption.

does thunderclan care about shadowsight? what is going on i swear did they forget he killed bramble and is responsible for the entire mess right now?

chapter two

shadowsight you did a bad of course they're not hiding how disappointed they are you did a bad my son

lmao it's the reverse of tawnypelt's clan [3], shadowsight is being kidnapped against his will for the tribe. also please can we go back to the tribe but only if it's good

he listed dovewing next to "clan leader" not "clan leader's mate" which implies dovewing has shc's respect which yes i stan

aww siblings being siblings. i miss that from po3. nothing has captured it as well. well, like, the sight.

chapter three

you know, i think part of why i've struggled so much with this arc is because i just don't like any of the pov characters. i don't dislike any of them but i don't like them.

yeah! tree defending rootspring!!!! fuck. good fathers in warriors.

so rootspring calls lionblaze TC deputy which means squirrelstar [4].

god they go, like, ages without caring whose parent is who and suddenly they're covering it all over again but like, in an adoption bad way, and just, fuck you erin hunter [5].

it's good to see lionblaze does care about her, fuck, can we just get some consistency here. (i mean god rootspring he lost his mom too --- i mean, if anyone should know this, your mom was violetshine, posterchild for bad adoption, who fought w twigbranch over adoptive mother shit)

i want a bernie meme like "i am once again asking for adoption to be treated like a legitmate form of family."

chapter four

wait why the fuck is bris faster than windclan their whole thing is being fast

also that moonkitti video about harestar having no personality[6] is painfully real i know nothing about this man

oh huh we were just talking about windclan camp[7]. this is actually pretty similar to the first ever description, right down to bris wondering how people sleep there (they don't.) well, uh, credit where credit is due, good job for sticking to your guns on windclan sleeps outside.

i love how crow and breeze being difficult is just common knowledge.

oh, so crowfeather gets credit for the three? fucking hell man i'm done.

also fuck you crowfeather for victim blaming i will be making a call out post so help me [8]

okay i'm ngl it feels like bris is crushing on lionblaze. i don't think that's supposed to be a thing [9], it just feels like that.

okay okay okay i'm confused in earlier books the great battle was like a well discussed thing. god, avos had that whole the names of the fallen thing. and now, not even a full generation later, and bris doesn't understand the dark forest? (also who's even in the dark forest?)

(oh wait this book is going to answer that. uh for the record, now, squirrelstar/mtbnsof has been fully plotted and will disregard whatever this book says, unless it's good.)

oh wow i guess we're just throwing out the concept of the moonpool why don't we. really, everything i heavily justified/couched in mtbnsof is happening unironically in canon.

mothwing and willowshine god fucking damn. they're prob my fav mentor/apprentice relationship. mistystar's omen stg.

what is it with everyone and bouncing all the fuck around with squirrelflight? like, okay, i'd get it if they doubted her because yeah, i could make a strong argument about clan morality and her actions [10]. but they're so on and off about it i hate it.

shadowsight.

shadowsight, can you hear me.

you're literally saying, "i could solve this, if i had a solution to the problem."

well ig we know who he takes after.

chapter five

what's up with this "darkest thoughts" bullshit come on you're really going to invalidate ivypool like that?

lionblaze really do be going back and forth. can't blame him he's not used to having a character.

also, i really love jayfeather standing up for alderheart [11].

mothwing wtf how're you getting to hell you don't believe in it. how do you have faith in shit. also please stop trashing shadowsight [12]. that said, she's absolutely right, she would be the ideal cat for the job, considering she has warrior training.

jayfeather what the fuck dude why are you suggesting it. although i'm glad at least he acknowledges his connection to squilf. good job. good job for being the one fucking character.

willowshine. willowshine baby no. don't do it. willowshine. willowshine no. don't do it. baby. no. please. i'm crying please don't do it.

"well, Mothwing, I admire everything about you" holy fucking shit what a line that's a line to inspire so much fic [13].

willow please baby no. please. send kestrelwing or something. puddleshine. anyone but you please baby.

damn okay what is with the connection between mothwing and.

no.

no no no no no.

they're killing willowshine.

why.

she's. baby. please no. she's not read. she's too. no. i can't.

ffs moth please stop dissing shadow like this he doesn't deserve this. (also, unrelated, did, uh, did puddleshine name shadowsight for spiresight, a cat he never met and had no connection with? fuck i forgot what happened there.)

you know, out of the med cats, mothwing and jayfeather are the oldest. it's nice to see that dynamic have weight: when jayfeather speaks, people listen. it's been a while since we've had that role of the med cats in thunderclan.

god willow is dead and i'm going to sob.

chapter six

I FUCKING CALLED IT I HATE EVERYTHING

why did they have kill my baby [14]

when did rootspring get fucking responsible this is worse than when i got responsible

also mothwing i'm so sorry.

fuck.

i didn't cry i was too angry and i cried about it last night because i knew it was coming just.

they didn't have to do her dirty like that.

chapter seven

just, before we begin, still sad about this willowshine bs. give me back my baby.

oh gee bristlefrost i wonder why lionblaze can't talk about his mother being taken away

does this mean they're going to acknowledge adoption again? please let this not be me raising my hopes too soon.

also really with all this lionblaze = deputy stuff...i just want squils [15]

oh lionblaze is back on his bullshit again. like, dude. he was instructed to treat ashfur. he was ordered. jesu maria.

uh. spotfur. what the fuck?

okay, first of all, squilf was chosen as deputy, so yes, she does in fact inherit leadership. that's...that's just wrong.

if you want to complain about lionblaze, sure, i hate it as much as you [16]. but squilf?

yes, yes, please give me ivystar [17]. if i can't have squilfstar (and i don't think i can, hence the existence of mtbnsof [18]), please let me have ivypool. (although mousewhisker? who said that lmfao.)

uh, lionblaze? there are so many better choices. i think bristlefrost would do a better job. (that's not an idea please don't give me bristlestar.)

ayyyyy! graystripe! what a man. what a time.

(graystripe and his gd dramatic entrances.)

also it's good to see elders getting the respect they deserve. (wait what what what the fuck happened to him.)

hehe (mtbnsof spoilers) i'm glad at some level that like, i identified key things that need to happen to make the story interesting and compelling, and they're happening. tbc really is picking up with the good writing. i have a lot of thoughts about this, but mostly, like, these books have changed since when i started them, but i'm happy with where they got. also, lmao i'm dying because like, yeah fuck i don't even know, i can't believe both the worst and best parts of mtbnsof have made it into this. god. what a world.

oh thank god lionblaze is stepping down.

hey, uh...is anyone going to follow up with what graystripe was doing? this is getting sus i can't take another thing i just need to trust someone.

chapter eight

i'm still not over willowshine

i. can people decide if dark forest is punishment or. wasn't lionblaze against sending shadowsight? i can't remember shit i should be taking useful notes i have a memory problem xd

aww dovewing mom.

you know i have a quick q: in skyclan & the stranger, leafstar's kits call her mama. but i don't think we've seen any adult cats say that. what's up w that?

oh dovewing i love you but...nah i just love you

that said, uh, can shadowsight's behavior be treated consistently? i don't know something is just bothering me.

oh yeah icewing exists lmao. forgot about that. can this continue like can shadowclan be the new home for wayward souls? they kind of deserve it after all of the villains they've had. and the earliest books kind of implied shadowclan used to do that.

i really, like, okay. cats like icewing are all "durr hurr dark forest very bad" and then others are like "bruh hell is real?"

uh. nope. i hate this implication that the dark forst is poisonous. very bad very bad very bad.

aww tigerstr being a good dad. breaking the cycle. first one [19].

i really, like, why do cats blame shadowsight? he wanted to go? he wanted to be the one? like, wtf?

urgh who wants to be warriorcatsfandommisandry [20] would praise shadow's rule breaking while victim-blaming squilf for the same behavior.

well, uh, ig i'm glad mothwing secretly cares about shadowsight? like, that's kind of fixing her character. kind of.

chapter nine

wow this post is getting long whoops i mean it is all of my notes on a book. usually i condense em into the good stuff.

lmao shadowsight b like "yeah if i die sorry my dad's gonna kill u luv u thanks for coming >3"

seriously mothwing was definitely the cat to choose considering she could 100% fight. also, like, his body is at risk?

you know, i think mothwing is supposed to be having a jayfeather arc here, but it's crippled by the fact that we're not in her head [21].

how many cats are even in the dark forest wasn't this the whole plot of oots that they're all dead?

also, like, i'm glad mothwing is back to herself. i don't even care about the inconsistency i'm happy to have mothwing back.

seriously it's starting to get to me that the knowledge of the great battle is so inconsistent.

okay i like that we've ditched the "darkest thoughts" thing that was kind of stupid

squirrelflight

(i am crying she's here again fuck)

chapter ten

okay yeah valid gotta maintain that tension (altho fuck you erin hunter [5])

huh. i still kinda hate rootspring for basically no reason ngl

you know, i've never questioned this, but how the fuck does moss ball work? moss doesn't work like that god no no no i can't over think it [22].

you know, forbidden romance might be "overdone" but it's worth pointing out that we very rarely get the perspective of the cats in the forbidden romance

lmao what is it with greystripe? like? is everyone in love with him? i'm not being fair to him just...what?

emotional support wife dovewing [23]

i really wish there was a deeper bond between bris, rootspring, and shadow. i appreciate the viewpoints into different clans, but with no meaningful differences in culture, it's just weird because we're used to po3 and avos and stuff where our leads are really close to each other.

willow

willow baby

you know it's occurred to me i've never vocalized my love for willowshine on this blog before now? xd see i don't actually talk about my favorite characters that much. i talk about dovewing the most out of my top 3 (dovewing, jayfeather, willowshine, in no particular order), but they just kind of feel...too personal? because i have really specific reasons to connect with all of them.

dovewing just happens to be for reasons i'm most able to share >3

willow please don't be corrupted

chapter eleven

please i just want to know squilf is okay

bris u fucking idiot we've established the moonpool is deep. don't you remember literally yesterday?

flametail imagery

"drypaws" what a word. interesting ik leopardstar just avoided water, but here bris can't swim. i don't care i'm just happy for some gd culture

okay i've said it before and i've said it again: i draw the line at cat cpr

wait what is daisy doing? fuck was i supposed to read the novellas first? is this what daisy's kin is about? when did daisy leave? did i miss something? what's going on??

okay can we...like, cats who aren't elders trained in the dark forest. this wasn't even a full generation ago. lionblaze. breezepelt. just...guys.

tigerdove...so cute. i love them [23].

where tf are the sisters they got here so fast

like bruh...i liked the sisters but now they're like, clan on demand ghost summoners? i think? idk clearly i'm missing something very important

emotional support wife dovewing

chapter twelve

i see shadowsight and i don't see squirrelflight and i have a complaint

oh uhhh who's snowtuft again?

also i feel like, i feel like i made my point about it being empty

a light in the mist title drop dodoododod

bruh what is ashfur even

oh series one cat xd yeah that checks

look. if they're not in the allegiances, i don't remember them for shit, okay? my series one memory is excellent, it's just that series one cared about thunderclan, and, like, tallstar

squilf squilf squilf squilf squilf if she's not in this chapter i'm going to scream it is 2am bitch

I AM SCREAMING BITCH

chapter thirteen

the scream lengthens

just give me her

at least i get to spend time with willowshine?

wait mapleshade is still alive? i thought someone killed her oop

also uh yeah how did ashfur amass power like, that bitch is an incel he's done nothing but fail to kill three cats and get murdered and go to heaven

are there even enough dark forest cats for that?

rootspring this is a bad idea don't do this haven't you seen horror movies stop being the white chick

sad ghosts r sad sigh

chapter fourteen

when did warriors get all "oh no can't do multiple chapters of the same narrator in a row" please nobody fucking cares that bris is sad i just want to see squirrelflight

lmao bris like "it's illegal to be atheist" bitch i read code of the clans exactly once i know it's dovestar who tried that and the answer was no.

ah, tree. actually mediating, for once.

god, bris...why is firestar's legacy so large? like, fuck, i know why, i just...

also, tree, she said a nobel and true Clan, not the clan. so like, maybe chill out for a moment [24].

hnnnng family drama also i really like that tree loves his wife very good very good

dfskj okay mothwing missing riverclan would be much more impactful if we actually knew what was going on in riverclan. (like, say, if willowshine was a pov in this arc [25]?) also, you know, riverclan has had so many problems with treating cats badly? god, a shadow in riverclan. wait, like, shouldn't mothwing also remember/reflect on this? wait this would be so much better if we had more pov for this fuck

also fuck off bris about being proud you are so fucking priviledged your forbidded romance drama is as intense as like, idek, the notebook? from someone who lived through, uh, forbidded romance that involved threatening to send someone to conversion camp [26], fuck off

bruh. why is she acting like thunderclan is gone xd you have no idea what it's like for a clan to almost fall apart yeah i stand by my comments on shadow/skyclan.

"what will my place be?" it will be a fucking warrior of thunderclan??? all you've ever wanted???? god she's...look i get it she's like, my age. and lord knows i don't react gracefully to shit. she's stressed, i get it. i do. but also, just, ffs bris. get it together.

"you die in the dark forest, you die in real life" can we meme that?

oooh okay it would be really good to get all three pov cats in the dark forest [27].

also, how long has rootspring been down there? how does this work? what's up with shadowsight? what is anything even? how long has it been?

thank you mothwing for pointing out bristlefrost is extremely unexperienced.

also can i just say, i really like bris' name? like i think bristlefrost is an extremely cute and good name. cute in that it's cute and good in that it conveys her character well.

god i want mothwing pov on this [25].

why is bris so convinced that if she doesn't act, rootspring isn't coming back?

chapter fifteen

wow i had a lot of notes on last chapter huuuh

oh vibe do i finally get squilf

stopping caring about bramble shadow no one fucking cares

seriously when did ashfur get this, uh, good at being a villain?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

she's

here

fuck i'm crying

poor bb i just. poor baby.

okay. ashfur. let me making something clear.

i do not understand why in the world squilf would ever choose bramble [28]. but you're fucked as a choice.

ffs yellowfang this is why we don't say "his only crime was loving too much"

okay well as much as i'm confused by his power his characterization here is fantastic. i'm really glad we got ashfur back as a villain, you know.

good job squirrelflight. do not take unnecessary blame.

(also please learn to transfer these skills to your pos husband.)

#when you can't get her to love you by killing her husband and dragging her into hell so you think you can make her love you by showing her how you're torturing the souls of her loved ones

you know i had the snowtuft thing spoiled for me i just forgot who snowtuft was so it had 0 impact

damn bramblestar is still alive.

dammit.

people kept calling lionblaze deputy don't do that to me if you're not following through on it ffs

okay not to pimp out my own fic but if you're interested in a squirrelstar au, "may there be no sadness of farewell" is my squils (squirrelstar) au and it does have an imposter arc. so you know. if that's your thing.

hnng my thoughts on bramble [29] aside i can appreciate the drama

ashfur. ashfur. ashfur you fucking idiot you're the one fighting her. also fuuuck i love this character. if i was bookmarking this on ao3 you know it'd get the "hot damn" tag.

huh. uh, wow. good chapter. hot damn. loved it. loved it so much.

hate what it means for my hopes and dreams, but very good. very intense. i approve.

chapter sixteen

eh, wasn't she going to the dark forest? did i forget something?

ohhh dream

huh this is interesting

and cute.

i love the "everything is fine" trope so much tho

does...did no one ever describe ashfur to bris?

you know, i think this is why so many people, me included, go with the we-don't-talk-about-our-villains thing. sure, it makes some bits awkward, but...yeesh

huh. weird chapter. both impactful and kinda meh.

chapter seventeen

you know i'm feeling a lot of things right now, and i might have to just give in and finish this damn thing.

we'll see.

willow willow willow willow willow

sigh ffuuuck she's dead. i'm sad. i'm going to write a fic about her. "under a willow tree" i have plans. it's going to be good.

yeah see okay. i made a joke about warriors needing to make not talking about shit part of the culture and i'm glad they did because it works

squilf!!!!!!!!!

oh fuck i'm crying again. my girl. she's here. she's here.

of course they saved you!!!!!! you're!!!!! squilf!!!!!!

please get nine lives.

please.

let the body be dead.

let bramble die.

please.

chapter eighteen

okay seriously i really want to memify "if you die in the dark forest, you die in real life"

oh rip shadow's ear. that sucks. huh. i'm gonna have to explore this, too. esp. w dovewing.

eeeeee mothwing being mothwing again i'm happy

willow

mothwing stick to ur guns for a moment

also i appreciate the "u can't tell me what to do i'm a med cat" thing going on

hehe tigerdad (where's dovewing my beloved)

chapter nineteen

wow okay i'm 3/4 of the way through

dammit rip squilf something something exploring some canon complient stuff.

huh, shadowsight. do you think maybe. being in the dark forest. is bad. do you think. maybe.

bruh shadow way to go call out your own father smh.

mothwing, my dear, you're the one who didn't want to treat him like that. i mean i'm glad you're standing up for him but this kind of makes your whole treatment of him feel like a plot device.

okay, i'm glad that's a formal thing, med cats > leaders, that makes me happy

i really want to know what alderheart is up to.

yeah really why have they waited so long. i mean i forgot about them too but the sisters seem like an obvious choice? since they're here?

(also i'm still really confused by the daisy thing.)

heh i really do need to read squilf's hope. i've been putting it off (i don't want to read cft, but...), but i think it's about time.

rootspring what? okay going to read it now ig

okay okay i'm really glad the sisters are like fuck we're done w y'all cause that's been a long time coming

what debt where the sisters in to the clans XD???

chapter twenty one

"moonpond"xxd i'm dying

awww tigerdad

don't the sisters know the basics of herbal healthcare?

poor tigerstar. no no guys. his wife was in a dangerous prophecy, and now his son is. :(

tigerdad!!!!!!!

ohhh this chapter hit hard

chapter twenty two

"the sign of a true leader" is...talking fast?

dfsjadfskj rootspring you are lead by leafstar the best and most capable leader the fuck are you talking about

:((((((((( brambles........alive

is squirrelstar so much to ask for

y'all're lucky i was going to release "ilex aquafolium" tonight as a follow-up to "better left unsaid" because freyja (my cat) chose it to be next in the rotation but i might end up finishing chapter three of "may there be no sadness of farewell" first because coping

chapter twenty three

you know writing that chapter did not take me better i forgot mtbnsof is angst until like...the epilogue

heyyy they're back....i'm.....soo....happy...about......this [30]

i mean i feel like every one is way too trusting how do u know it's the real squilf?

shadowsight bris rootspring polycule? just a thought

oh. so that's it, then.

you know, i enjoyed it.

citation: a moonkitti video ↩︎

see here to read it, but...you could probably get it in canon ↩︎

legally i have to tell you i haven't actually read this yet ↩︎

please let me have this. ↩︎

where "erin hunter" refers to the collective who writes warriors ↩︎ ↩︎

it's called "leader chance" if you're interested ↩︎

okay, techincally i was talking about riverclan dens, but it's close. ↩︎

for my own personal reference, pg 50 on phone. about 19% ↩︎

warrior cats still hasn't invented cheating. also, no, i'm not going overboard on the footnotes. ↩︎

nts, do this. or add on to like "daughter of mine" or "secrets passed over in the dead of night" ↩︎

gives more weight to sunset and evening star. ↩︎

although also guys it's not that out of character for her. like, she's always been quick to do what she thinks is right, and this time, it's the wrong thing. you know? ↩︎

including my own fuck. ↩︎

spoilers for mtbnsof. i mean i know i killed willow for exactly the same reason but...why'd they have to lift all of my least favorite parts of squilfstar. ↩︎

squilf but for squirrelstar. coined in my drafting notes for mtbnsof ↩︎

to be clear, he's wrong, i just wouldn't bother arguing because it's annoying having lionblaze as clan leader. ↩︎

nts: do something with this. mtbnsof spoilers. even if i don't end up going through to squils death, i want to do something with ivystar, preferably before the entire clan is ocs. ↩︎

in case you're new here, my ao3 is mallowstep and mtbnsof stands for may there be no sadness of farewell, a squirrelstar au that begins at the end of lost stars. ↩︎

"love knows no bounds (but maybe it should)" (unannounced) spoilers. ...i say, knowing about how he's, uh, not in lknb. ↩︎

hopefully, i'm speaking ill of the dead and not summoning the devil. hopefully. ↩︎

yes of course i will now be writing that thank you for calling me out. we will also be exploring her relationship with religion. title? unsure, but we might reuse "i'll believe the wind is calling me" since that has been scrapped and salvaged ↩︎

only valid kit play scene is now the one at the beginning of the sight. ↩︎

no tigerdove discourse please. i'm not in the mood for it. play nice. ↩︎ ↩︎

although to be clear, the only actually noble and true clans, at least time of this book, are shadowclan and skyclan. ↩︎

nts - "under a willow tree" ↩︎ ↩︎

oh. so that's why i don't like her. ↩︎

it triples my odds of seeing squilf. ↩︎

i do. i really, really do. but until the erins acknowledge it, i try to ignore it in canon. otherwise i get too sad. ↩︎

as mentioned before, when i'm interacting with canon, my standards are a lot lower. because i like to enjoy the stories. that's why i write fix-it fic. ↩︎

i'm crying ↩︎

[whatthehelliswrongwithme]

Voltron Part 25

God, it´s the season 5 finale already. I´ve got to say, so far Voltron is still good, but these stupid half-seasons annoy the fuck outta me. As always, since it's the finale, I'll also talk about the season as a whole:

So Lotor gonna take a magical vacation, to travel to a magical planet with the help of a magical rock, where they'll go to a magical place so Allura can learn magic?

It's space Bermuda Triangle

Moustache man sounds so tired, because of Allura. Like. He knows it's the season finale and Allura's got to "die" again

Lance! I was about to make a stupid joke about Lotor's music career. Don't steal my jokes!

Oh my god. Magic Planet got it's own Fursona. (And of course it's a lion)

Btw, did the Alteans also have lions? Or did Allura's dad just like, see a cat-video from earth and thought: "That's how I want my ships to look like!"

The Paladins screaming just seems so ridicolous

Lotor discovers that he is in fact, *the* Mary Sue of this story arc

Seriously. I fucking hate "Chosen Ones" stories

Lotura moment!

"Why isn't moustache man glowing?" "Because he is a dirty peasent"

It's not death. But Allura already put herself in mortal danger again

Aww, poor Shiro. Being used as spyware (and maybe being controlled) by space witch. Baby doesn't deserve this

Big Gal: " While space witch is pondering, we could be out conquering"

Watch out Eminem. Both Lotor and Big Gal are coming for you

Everytime they talk about Lotor's backstory, it feels like it's supposed to be sad

Meanwhile I'm just sitting here, thinking "I'm supposed to feel sorry for that bitch?!? I don't !!"

Why do they always take off their helmets this willy-nilly?

What a great challenge: The ceiling is coming down and they've got to do something. How about interacting with the only other object in the room?

Look at Lotor interacting with this white lion and tell me that he's not still Evil. I'll wait

The magic realm really just deadass told Allura that she's supposed to know all the shit she came for

Shiro's acting like he didn't almost die because of a lack of oxygen. Honey you don´t always have to be this stoic hero

Space witch only listens to the Paladins with their stupid distorted voices. Pidge sounds like "Bitch". She probably thinks that that's the green paladins name

Thoughts on season 5 as a whole:

Liked it better than season 4. Right off the Gate

I kinda disliked season 4 because it was pretty focused on Lotor. But this season got the rest of the team to balance that out. Liked that.

This season was just filled with bad decisions coming from Shiro

But at least it was kinda implied that space witch has some sort of control over him. So that explains that at least

Fav episode: "The viewer gets to find out why Keith's dad is a Monsterfucker"

Keith once again was very little present. But at least he basically got his own epidode. And his mother was introduced. So that´s a plus?

Lance, I´ve grown to like you. And the fact that you also hate Lotor's guts really helps that

Pidge had some cool moments. Love seeing her interact with her brother

Hunk needs his own sort of mini-arc again, like in season 1 with Shay and the Balmera

Who made the worst decisions? Who trusts Lotor for some reason? Who's spyware and may or may not be controlled by space witch? Who deserves a break? Who is space daddy? Jolene Shiro

Is Allura going to be magic now? Because it feels like that was kinda implied

(Also love the fact, that every season finale she just has to be this drama queen and almost die)

Moustache man. You're weird. But I love you.

Everytime Lotor does something, I'm just that Cardi B clip: "~That's suspicious.~ ~That's weird.~"

Honestly. I ship Lotura. But not in a cutesy kinda way, but in a “Lotor's gonna turn out to still be an asshole. Allura feels betrayed. Everything is angsty” kinda way

Allurance kinda falling apart right now cause of Lotor. But Lance is desperatly trying to hold it together

Lancelot is a ship I've found out about. Seems interesting. Probably only exist because all the Klance shippers needed a new 'Enemies to Lovers' realationship to focus on

Klance, Shallura and Sheith found dead in Miami

Well, at least Sheith got Keith being willing to die in order to save Shiro

Punk is so good! I love shipping characters who are in desperate need of more screentime!

Plance I think had some cute moments

Still kinda ship Big Gal x colourful Ty Lee. Everytime they're on screen it's just "Let's go lesbians, let's go!" for me

I don't know if it belongs here, but Keith and Stone Cold Bitch are the brOTP

Predictions for season 6:

I've said it since the very first season prediction. But: They return to earth. (I just know that as soon as I stop mentioning it, it´s gonna happen.)

Somehow Team Voltron finds out that Shiro is spyware

(Through some old ColeyDoesThings videos, I found out that there apparently was some sort of clone theory going round. And honestly, it would be interesting, but I haven't noticed any sort of indication for this) (Unless it´s one of those stupid plot-twist, where the viewer had literally no way to see it coming)

(And honestly, I kinda dislike this whole clone idea)

Team Voltron meets Krolia. Lance is in awe. "Stacy's mom" starts playing in the background. Keith tells Pidge to turn that off

Lotor's gonna betray them. I don't trust that bitch-ass motherfucker

And Zarkon's death turns out to be false. it was all just some stupid elaborate ruse to get the lions

I just want Keith to return to Team Voltron. But I kinda doubt that that will happen anytime soon 

One last thing: ❤I fucking love all of you!❤ I love recognising people because they frequently appear in the notifs. I love seeing new people interact with this blog and seeing their cool stuff. And I love that you guys seem to enjoy this Voltron review thing I´ve got going on. I´m always especially excited about comments, because it's really fun interacting with you guys. Seriously, love you!❤

[cutelittleriot]

Hey! Can I get a Bayverse match up, please ?

My name is Gabriela, but my friends call me Raven, Gigi and Gabi. I'm 15 years old girl from Slovakia 🇸🇰, I'm Libra ♎ and I am an ONLY child.

I have a Russian accent since childhood because we have ancestors from Russia. I curse a lot in Russian and I speak perfectly Russian and Spanish.

I am stubborn, impulsive, sarcastic, hothead, sassy, flirty. I start a lot of fights and I am not afraid to slap and beat 6 ft tall people. I'm not afraid to stand for myself and others. I hate when someone is telling me what to do.

I'm shy, sweet, kind, nice, smart, funny, loving, caring, quiet and sensitive, empathetic, loyal and honest person. I'm supportive, calm and I'm very good listener and I give people good advice when they need to.

I'm nerd and I love technique. My fav is Hi-tech. I love to repair and build things.

I love to dance and sing. I write songs and poetry. When I hear some melody or music, automatically come to my mind lyrics of my song and I must write it down. That's why I have always with me notepad or notebook. I dance like TBD dance group in movie Work It. I love to sing in high notes like Ariana Grande and others says that I have beautiful and powerful voice.

I love meditation, yoga, books, cappuccino, tea, pizza, ice tea and coffe and non-alcoholic beer.

I'm a bookworm. Literally I have a book in my hands 24/7.

I love to draw and paint. I love Art.

I have 3 cute syndromes called: 1.Selenophile- person who loves moon 2.Nyctophilia- person who loves night and darkness

3.Bluebofile- person who loves rain

My BIGGEST passion is cooking. On September 1 I'm going to High school Hotel Academy. When I cook I always sing.

I have a lots of break downs like I lean against wall crying, I go to down until I touch the ground, sit down and crying because I random remebered my grandfather. He died three years ago and it's so painful for me, because we had a special relationship.

I have sleep issues and I must to drink tea before I go to sleep, I won't fall asleep if I don't drink tea.

I love to work out and knit.

My favorite subjects in school are History, Chemistry, Biology, History English, Physics, Art and Music.

My favorite music genre is pop, rock and rap. I love bands AC/ DC, Kiss, Queen, Depeche Mode, Pentatonix, Little Mix, Halocene, First To Eleven and Katy Perry, Rita Ora, Cardi B, Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azalea, Stefflon Don, Lil Nas X, Lil Wayne, Ed Sheeran, Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello.

I love to wear pants and T-shirts. I hate skirts. I always have mascara with some eyeshadow. My favorite colors are red, blue, purple and black. I always wear blue or black clothes and that's why my friends call me "Raven"

That's it. Thanks for your time and sorry for any mistakes in description. See ya 💜♥️💖. Thank you so much.

I feel raph would be perfect for you

He loves your Russian accent

He is impressed you know so many languages

He loves a sassy woman

He loves how you are not afraid to beat up people taller than you

He is happy that you are supportive he can use some whenever he gets angry at his family and you are there to help

He also hates it when someone tells him what to do (leo is kind of an exception cause he is leader)

He finds it cool that you love to build and repair things like Donnie

He would love to hear your poetry and music he will even have (force) donnie to make a cd of your music and poetry

He would want you to try to teach him some yoga to calm him down

He will even lend you one of his comics (I have a headcannon he also reads comics like 2012 raph but he does in secret in his room away from mikey)

He would have your art pieces hanged up on the walls in his room and if you leave a art piece by accident he would take it

When you first gave him a art piece he about broke down he gave you a big hug and constantly thanked you (In private of course gotta keep his pride)

When you have a breakdown at forst he was confused on what to do but he went to donnie so now he can help you out whenever you do and lets you vent at any time he will always listen

He also has some trouble sleeping (he sometimes gets nightmares about shredder) not as bad as donnie so you two can stay up together

Omg you two are knitting buddies you two knit stuff for eachother

He loves your band choices for those he doesn't know he asks you to show him

He likes the nickname raven it sounds so badass to him

[cynicalrainbows]

Im glad you liked it hehe! Jane is really fun to make hc/new characterizations for (I’m someone who likes to write myself, and characters are my fav part of most story telling). I think it’s mostly due to the fact that I feel her song can get a little misinterpreted at times (this is largely due to the fact that it’s a ballad and ballads can be very vague). I could go on a whole ramble about what I think the song is about the line/cut line from it but to keep it short- I see her song as her in denial and realizing/reminiscing on her relationship with Henry and seeing that it was emotional ab*sive (the whole song chorus is like she’s going to battle) but she stood firm and wanted to focus her true love on her child (regardless of gender). To me that and her part in “Six” gives me an idea of a Jane who was hurt and used before but just wants now to live her life to fullest, with true freedom in what she can say or think or do with no one stopping her . And she wants to do all this with the queens, her new family.

Mom!Jane is adorable, she’s a sweetheart but a Jane that’s a little more fiery, a little more chaotic, and much more teasing hits a little different. And well that changes her dynamic with everyone but I just wanted to focus on Anne cause I also think differently about her as well (like i think she’s smart as hell through the whole fake competition since she’s trying to get the audience to like her and she does a decent job at that... she’s pretty neat I think). I do think Katherine fits in well too, with Anne also acting like an older sibling but Kat and Jane (even tho Jane is older than Kat) being more in the same level with stuff. Kat’s not as chaotic as Jane but she’s more “eh why not I’m in” cause it just makes her happy to hang out with them.

Anger is such an exhausting emotion but something I learned once from a therapist of mine is that it’s sometimes an emotion that’s covers up what you’re really feeling. It’s easier to be angry at something then to be truly vulnerable, but when you recognize the underlying cause and have people who can support you through it, it can become easier to be vulnerable. That can definitely apply here, where Anne and Jane become much more vulnerable with eachother. Anne would then learn about all the shit Jane went through with her family and Henry (hearing that he threatened to have her beheaded like Anne during the pilgrimage of grace incident would make her both angry and bring out a protective instinct). She would be the one to comfort Jane on the idea that she didn’t go through much cause “You totally got screwed over too! We all did! Just cause it was different pain, doesn’t mean it’s not valid pain!”

Her reigning Jane is mostly her making sure Jane doesn’t go too far (Anne had to stop her from trying to bake stuff faster by upping the temperature too many times to count), but she can’t help but be happy at the fact that Jane feels comfortable enough to do stuff like that or joke around with the queens at all with no fear of extreme punishment (not that they would punish her, but like... trauma sucks).

(And yeah I definitely agree on the point on the illiteracy hc, as we only know so much in her education but it wouldn’t be a surprise that she might have been slightly illiterate given the time. I just also like the hc of her having dyslexia cause of the fics that cover it, specifically HMA64 I love their fics dearly)

And yes, i thought of it once and thought “god that’s adorable, i have to include this”. With every groan from the other queens lips at each of Jane’s puns, Anne gets more and more proud :D.

And im seriously happy you liked it (I mean I didn’t think I would start to hc stuff about a musical about the six wives of Henry the eighth but like ehh historical fiction is a thing and writing has always been about what ifs, so why not)! And well I’m sure if I think of something you might like again, I’ll share it :).

Oh my god I was replying to an ask, scrolled down slightly and did a double take, wondering how I’d missed this post- and THEN remembered getting it, reading it and being like ‘Oh I don;t have time to give this amazing as the attention to deserves so I’ll save it-’ and then I think life just got in the way and it slipped from my mind entirely- and anon I’m so sorry! I promise I wasn’t ignoiring it on purpose but I do feel like a very ungrateful wench after you went to such trouble to send such an interesting ask!

I agree that Jane gives the impression of recognising how awful Henry was in her song- idk if you’ve seen the tour cast but the Jane I saw did an amazing job of just coming across as someone who had been very wounded and who was only just giving herself permission to sort of slowly realise it wasn’t her fault and that she didn’t deserve it, like she was still in the habit of excusing him but was slowly relaising how wrong it was.

I can definitely imagine Kitty and Jane being on a similar sort of level, out of the cousins- they’re the two youngest, the two least well educated, both were sort of pushed into Henry’s bed (Jane just came out of it a lot better), both were meant to be sort of ‘dresh start’ queens: Jane was the good wife after the temptress Nan Bullen and Kitty was the pretty young girl married for love after the doomed arranged marriage of politics. So I like the idea of them getting on as friends and equals rather than just Mother and Child.

Omg imagine Jane finally having the courage to make a joke or tease another queen and like it’s really mild but she still flinches and freezes- so the others make sure to laugh and make it clear that they’re really thrilled she’s comfrotable enough to realx a bit (and then they unleash a monster because Jane discovers puns....)

[shcnley]

╰ ✧ ZOEY DEUTCH. MUSE SEVEN. BISEXUAL. ❞ say hello to the s club’s very own SHANLEY EVANS! a TWENTY-THREE year old CISFEMALE that goes by SHE/HER pronouns. i heard they were voted MOST TALKATIVE in high school, which says a lot about them because they’re very VIVACIOUS and DEPENDABLE, but watch out for their IMPULSIVE and STUBBORN side as well. i hope they’re ready to take a break from being a TEACHER and finally get this summer started! 

hiiii friendssss, i’m gigi!!! and here’s my lil french fry lovin’ bb, shanley. sooo excited to plot w/ you allllll <333 

B A S I C S

full name: shanley nicole evans gender: cisfemale pronouns: she/her sexuality: bisexual age: 23 years old birthday: january 27th 1997 birthplace: NYC currently living: chicago, il relationship status: single zodiac: aquarius sun, virgo moon, leo rising occupation: teacher ( 1st grade )

I N S P O

characters: jessica day ( new girl ), lorelai gilmore ( gilmore girls ), harper ( set it up ), summer roberts ( the o.c. ), alexis rose ( schitt’s creek ), & amy march ( little women ). music: click this sentence for playlist !!  pinterest: click this sentence for pinterest !! 

B A C K G R O U N D

kso, i’m going to be honest. shanley had an extremely normal and happy childhood. her parents met in high school, fell in love and were married after graduating college. her father ( theodore evans / think sandy cohen from the oc ) is an executive vice president of an insurance company while her mother ( clara evans / think kristina braverman from parenthood ) is a stay-at-home mom. born and raised in new york city. she has an older sister ( haddie evans / think prue halliwell from charmed ) who is three years older, she has an extremely close relationship with her. shanley is obsessed with family, tbh. she tells them just about everything. they had dinner together every night and talk about their days, have inside jokes, go on family vacations every summer ( before sclub summers ). overall, her parents are very loving and supportive, wanting only the best for their daughters. in high school, shanley was convinced she wasn’t like other girls *pUkeS*. she was very outgoing. like she literally made friends with anyone and everyone. a friendly face; probably the student who showed the new students around. it was rare to see shanley upset or rude to anyone unless she was defending someone. she had good grades (our shanny was v advanced), kind of a teacher’s pet but like still got her seat moved or sent to the hallway because she wouldn’t stop talking. i almost made her superlative most likely to say something stupid because like that’s her too. she was on the yearbook committee, played volleyball, and was a part of the student government. if she wasn’t at school or home, you would most likely find her with arlo, which whew. a story there. when it came to the sclub, she spent whatever free time she had left with them. encouraging all the trouble; shanley will do ANYTHING you tell her to and probably doesn’t think about it. don’t give her dumbass a dare because she will do it. sorry , i forgot what i was going to say; let’s change topics. NO i remembered, lets carry on. she’s always up for a good time. don’t hesitate to invite shan...even if you don invite her...she’ll invite herself SO. fast forward to college, shanley was accepted to loyola university and moved to chicago. how excite!!!!  kso she always knew she wanted to go away for school yanno be miss independent thats why they love her BUT college life wasn’t easy, not in the beginning at least. she was going through a breakup and lost herself for a while. became cold and detached; honestly after the break up her routine was to go to class then back to her dorm, study, cry and repeat. she was only friends with her roommates till finally they forced her to go out and deal with her heartbreak the “””normal””” college way aka getting stupid drunk. *tiktok vc* it izz what it izz. joined a sorority then dropped it because it was too culty for her. she got a part time job at insomnia cookies. slowly became high school shanley again. her spirits were especially lifted when she began student teaching. the kids made her so happy. they also proved to her that teaching was what she was meant to do. next thing ya know, four years are up and our girl has a degree in elementary education.  no one probably asked but her love life !!! like mentioned earlier shanley is single. she was convinced she was going to end up marrying arlo, maybe not right after high school like people assumed but eventually. they just connected on another level so when he ended things after their first year of college, shan was crushed. but if you’re curious, she's still got the hots for arlo. are we surprised tho? no? exactly. thanks for reading, pals. dsjkn okay i’ll add more. fine. so she hooks up with people and goes on dates but no one sticks. she doesn’t want them to stick either. she knows she had that like one great love and doubts she’ll ever feel it again so she just prefers to be on her own. she don’t need no man !!!!!!!! except for one...but mind ur business. so like what is shanley nicole evans up to now? well, her original plan was to move back home once she had graduated. but she was offered a teaching position in chicago and gladly accepted it. she figured since she loved living in chicago so much and it was at the school where she completed her student teaching; it all felt right for her to stay there. this was a fresh start for her. and she got it!! ya girl moved into a beautiful ( expensive ) apt near lake shore drive, started her own tiktok account where she randomly went viral and fell in love with all her students who she calls her kiddy beans!!

E X T R A !!

has 4 tattoos:       portrait of her dog, on her left calf // why? again obsessed w/ her dog       aquarius symbol,  on her right outer elbow side // zodiac hoe. Is v proud       coffee mug, on her right wrist side // her first tattoo. couldnt think of anything else.       honey bee, back of her arm above elbow // got really drunk, heard a song, thought of arlo, ended up at a shop with friends as a joke and woke up the next morning with it. 8 piercings: 3 each lobe. Industrial ( left ). tragus ( right ). sings when she talks sometimes most of the time speaks in really bad accents; new jersey being her fav is always in a dress...look at her pinterest...all she has is dresses. she likes to show off her legs ok. obsessed with animals ( if she’s not paying attention, its bc she’s thinking about her dog and/or bunnies ), coffee, and junk food. a jonas brothers stan, nick is her favorite brother. shelf is her favorite song. cries whenever she hears when you look me in the eyes ( she sang it to arlo when he took her to their concert ). has a big following on tiktok. on the teacher side. she posts her ootd and weird shit her students have said. sometimes even reenacts scenes from new girl. a reality tv show about birds she sees. its quite entertaining.  potatoes and pasta are her favorite foods. grew up making fairy gardens has a concentration face  dances for no and every reason.especially if she’s excited or beat someone in something. rambles way too much, forgets what she’s talking about mid sentence, attention span of a fruit fly. she has a hammock named bartholomew and she chills on it when she’s sad...so most of this trip. :-)))

welcome 2 the end; gimme all ur plots. i wanna plot with you all. i am down for everything and anything. 

[guiltburied]

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐮𝐧!

(𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆)

—  𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒!💖

( PEN ) NAME : Smol !

PRONOUNS : she/her

ZODIAC SIGN : Aries

TAKEN OR SINGLE : single pringle 

—  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄  𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒!💖  

I absolutely love potato chips with my entire heart and if i could pick one food i could forever eat without getting a stommach ache, it would def be potato chips. It doesn´t matter the brand! i´m the ultimate expert potato chip taster and i shall judge those potatoes.

I have the biggest softness for frogs and toads, i just see a froggy pal and i absolutely melt no matter how they look. If only i wasn´t told that you could get blind if one of them peed in your eyes i would have loved catching them when i was a kid ;; ;;, i also love crabs a lot !

I like sculpting with clay a lot and have done quite a lot of lil things ! since where i live, ordering stuff online and getting it shipped is a literal p a i n in the ass, it was my only way to have “merch” of stuff i liked

Additional fact bc im a chatterbox: i love old classic slashers but i cannot see horror movies that are based on real stuff that happened or exorcisms.

—  𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄!💖

I cannot quite recall the exact age but it was around the middle of high school? now i´m on college so i guess you could say i have experience ! (?)

—  𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄  𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄!💖

HUH...---- Usually? the grumpy, tsundere. hard to get along, angry characters with deep issues and tormenting pasts. BUT- if you know me, you´ll know that although i love these types of characters, i write basically anyone and everyone that catches my eye. i love this one character but no one is writting it? i´ll write it!! jesus- i have like 30+?? fgo muses and they are all absolutely different from each other. If they are husbando material, i´ll write them hahaimeanwhat? the muses i find the most complicated to write are the flirty smooth ones- I JUST??? HOW DOES ONE WRITE A SMOOTH CHARACTER?? that sounds believable??? so the fact that  i have stuck with Norty for this long is something i am unable to understand

—  𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅 / 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓 / 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓!💖    

FLUFF : I LOVE IT!!! MY FAV THING I JUST--- -CLENCHES HANDS ON FISTS- no matter if it´s platonic or romantic... I LOVE IT, GIMME ALL THE FLUFF I CRAVE IT, i can never get enough of it, soft scenarios? y e s i just am a simple bean who enjoys writting soft moments

ANGST : Yes but-- currently not a big fan of it?? i mean i like a good angst but! i reaaally have to be on the mood otherwise i just-- can´t bring myself to feel the angst tm you feel? angst is something that has to come naturally or i need to be on that angsty mood tm otherwise i just don´t know what to write

SMUT : Super bad at it. probably a mistake. smol´s smut?? 1/10 would not recommended KJAJSHFHGSDK. If i wrote it, it probably would be more of the feeling and the deep loving connection two characters have rather than the super detailed physical thingy? ajkfakjkf does it make sense? it´s all about the feels !! -clenches hands on fists- i guess i´m also more of a headcanons type of person in this matter too? headcanons are neat, but if it´s a spicy headcanon i get shyyyyy jhdfbjhdf, ALSO, i tend to write on my rules no nsfw and that´s mostly because the only way i would ever write it would be if i felt extreeeeeemely super duper comfortable with you (and we are hecka close friends), and even then, if i write it, it would be kept on private.

PLOT / MEMES : OH HELL YEAAAAH BOIIIII, for some reason these past few blogs i had, i tend to answer asks more than do actual threads?? i dont know why but like, in this blog?? the only current plotted thread i have is one (1),  i would love trying to have threads again!! but my memory is really bad and i´m a snail so i worry a lot about people loosing their patience with me so that´s mainly why i tend to interact with others through memes. BUT!! PLOTTING??? I LOVE IT??? i love rambling about norty and asking questions about other muses and making bonds!!! i suck at first meetings so by plotting we can jump to the juicy part without having to go through the whole awkward first meeting thingy--- so yeah, i just love rambling a lot huh

tagged by : Stolen!! it was a funny meme! feel free to snatch it from me if u wanna do it too!

[calpalirwin]

Phone Screens

Summary: Online relationships don’t make the feelings any less real

A/N: Wanted to try my hand at a dialogue heavy piece. Let me know how I did.

Content: Friends to lovers? I dunno.

Word Count: 3.3k

And away, and away we go!

__

drumming_heartbeats: Hey…

jetblackrose: Hi!

drumming_heartbeats: Saw your post about how you met Ashton. That musta been cool, yeah?

jetblackrose: Oh, it was hella cool! I was like super fuckin nervous and he was so chill about it. Honestly probably shouldn’t have fangirled as hard as I did lol. 

drumming_heartbeats: Lol, why do you say that?

jetblackrose: I’ve only been a fan for like less than a year lol. I know people have been a fan for years and still haven’t gotten the chance to meet him, or any of the other members so yeah. Feel like I haven’t done my time yet or something. It’s stupid.

drumming_heartbeats: Nah, that’s not stupid. That’s actually really cool. Your picture with him is fucking adorable btw.

jetblackrose: Aw thanks, lovely! How’d you become a 5sos fan? Assuming you are one?

drumming_heartbeats: Lol! My friend got me into them. But yeah, been a fan for awhile. I’m Tom btw. 

jetblackrose: Ooo a boy fan! Sick! Nice to meet ya Tom. I’m Gen. 

drumming_heartbeats: Shocking I know, but us guy fans do exist, lol. So I take it from the looks of your blog Ash is your favorite?

jetblackrose: I mean… I love them all equally for different reasons. But yeah, Ash is my fav. Something about that cheeky lil grin he does. And he’s so… I dunno, more mindful than the rest? Like they’re all dorks, don’t get me wrong. But he also gives off an old soul vibe I really connect with too if that makes sense. 

jetblackrose: Lol, sorry for rambling. 

drumming_heartbeats: Nah, it’s cute. And I totally get it. He definitely does seem to have that wisdom that comes from going through some heavy shit. 

jetblackrose: Rightfully so. I mean, he seems pretty open about the shit he’s gone through. And the fact that it’s only seemed to make him a kinder person is part of why I love him so much. 

drumming_heartbeats: Yeah. Like it’s very easy to let the demons win and give into the bitterness of it all. But he seems like a happy dude, so good for him. 

jetblackrose: Good for him indeed! Like all I want in life is for that man to be happy. Like, we all deserve that, but him especially. God, that sounds dumb doesn’t it? That I can feel so attached to someone I maybe talked to for like 5 minutes. Like I know realistically he will probably never recall our encounter or think twice about it. But that doesn’t mean I can’t wish him happiness all the same I suppose. Sorry… rambling again. 

drumming_heartbeats: Nah, that’s not dumb at all. If anything I think it shows how caring of a person you are. Which the world could use a lot more of.

jetblackrose: Lol, thanks! You’re sweet to think that. But it’s definitely dumb lol. 

drumming_heartbeats: Not even the slightest. Fuck, I’m about to pass out. Talk later?

jetblackrose: You know where to find me. Night-o!

~~~

jetblackrose: Hey, Tom?

drumming_heartbeats: Yeah?

jetblackrose: Probably a dumb question but where do you live? I feel like I keep you up hella late. 

drumming_heartbeats: I live in LA.

jetblackrose: Shit, no way?!

drumming_heartbeats: Yeah, lol. I mean, I travel a lot for work but yeah. LA’s home. 

jetblackrose: Oh that’s awesome! Are you traveling now?

drumming_heartbeats: Nah, I’m home for the time being. Resting up. Gonna be a busy year.

jetblackrose: Yeah? Hopefully good busy.

drumming_heartbeats: Oh, yeah. It’s always good busy. Hey, did you see the new stuff 5sos put up?

jetblackrose: Yes! Holy shit! Are they TRYING to kill their fans or what?!

drumming_heartbeats: Lmao right? Like fuck, bruh…

jetblackrose: More like fuck me please, lmao! Quick question! And you don’t have to answer if this is way too personal. But are you gay?

drumming_heartbeats: No? I mean, I don’t have a fragile male ego. I can freely admit that men are handsome. But I’m not like… I dunno. If anything I’d probably say I’m bi. I just… labels are confusing.

jetblackrose: Yeah, I feel you on that. Like I just love who I love. I don’t feel the need to explain it much beyond that.

drumming_heartbeats: Exactly! I mean, but I’ve only ever had female partners so… the assumption is straight I suppose.

jetblackrose: I’ve only had male partners. Well, I’ve kissed girls. But I’ve only ever dated dudes.

drumming_heartbeats: Oh, I bet your bf loves that, huh?

jetblackrose: I wouldn’t know. I frequently had my attraction to women from the dudes I date so I don’t get the creeps.

drumming_heartbeats: So no bf…?

jetblackrose: Lol, that’s what you get out of that? You’re such a dude! But nope. No bf.

drumming_heartbeats: Damn, that sucks.

jetblackrose: Why do you have a gf?

drumming_heartbeats: No. I did. But we broke up like a few months ago.

jetblackrose: Aw, sorry to hear that.

drumming_heartbeats: Lol, I think you’re the first person to say that. Normally people are sorry to hear I’m IN a relationship, not out of one.

jetblackrose: Wtf? That’s so dumb, lol. You’re my friend, Tom. I want you to be happy.

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, I’m your friend?

jetblackrose: Yes…? I mean, we’ve talked all day every day for like what? A month? I swear I talk more with you than my real life friends lol.

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, that’s so cute! You’re my friend too, btw. If that wasn’t obvious. I really like talking with you.

jetblackrose: I really like talking with you too! Like, I know it’s probably really stupid to say, but I never really got how people can become friends online. Like how can you feel connected to someone you never actually met, you know? But talking with you, I get it. I’m glad you messaged me.

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, Gen baby, you’re gonna make me blush! That’s so fuckin’ cute. I’m glad I messaged you too. You feel more real to me than the friends I actually see lol.

jetblackrose: Looks like we’re both gonna make the other blush… Dude! Honestly, I think it’s because we can only talk. Like, we can’t actually see each other, so we have to rely on these messages. And it’s a lot easier for me to not be shy when I message someone. Because I can delete what sounds stupid!

drumming_heartbeats: Lmao! Nothing you say could ever be stupid.

jetblackrose: You say that now… Trust me though, in person I’m a fuckin nervous idiot. Like I talk too fast or not at all.

drumming_heartbeats: I bet you’re fuckin cute in person.

jetblackrose: Lmao, are you hitting on me?

drumming_heartbeats: Too much?

jetblackrose: Nah, lol. I don’t scare easy. I just bet you’re way cuter.

drumming_heartbeats: Not even! Have you SEEN your face?

jetblackrose: You mean this face? *picture*

drumming_heartbeats: Damn, baby!

jetblackrose: Fuck… is it really dumb of me to like you calling me “baby” so much?

drumming_heartbeats: I mean… I don’t think so? Like, I would hope it doesn’t bother you.

jetblackrose: No, it doesn’t bother me. I like it.

drumming_heartbeats: Cool! Cuz I like calling you that.

~~~

drumming_heartbeats: Is this your king? *picture*

jetblackrose: My brain literally went “oh daddy”... I DON”T EVEN HAVE A DADDY KINK! Ashton Irwin is going to be the death of me, watch. On my tombstone it’ll read “Gen. Killed by Ash’s hotness”

drumming_heartbeats: Omg lol!

jetblackrose: Too dramatic?

drumming_heartbeats: I mean…? Maybe?

jetblackrose: Maybe? Nah. What would be dramatic would be me saying how badly I want those arms of his wrapped around me. Like cuddling me. Choking me. I don’t even care. But those hands? I needs them on me!

drumming_heartbeats: You’re right. That would be dramatic lol.

jetblackrose: Like fuck… I bet those are the most restless set of hands. Like he’s a drummer. So like he’s probably constantly moving his fingers. Is it too much to ask that he moves those fingers across my skin? Like… bruh…

drumming_heartbeats: Omg, I love you dude.

jetblackrose: You what…?

drumming_heartbeats: Shit… I mean like… uh…

jetblackrose: Tom, relax. I love you too.

drumming_heartbeats: Shit, for real?

jetblackrose: Yeah. And… that kinda scares me? Like I don’t actually know you. I mean, I know you. We’ve talked every day for the past 3 months. But… I didn’t think I could ever feel this strongly for someone I’ve never physically met. Like, granted, it’s a very strong friendship love. But, I… I dunno if I should admit this… fuck it. I think I could actually love you. Like in a romantic way. Hell, I think I already do.

drumming_heartbeats: Omg, you’re the fuckin cutest!

jetblackrose: I promise I’m not lol. I just… fuck dude, I dunno. I just love you, alright? And it fuckin blows my mind that we live in the same area basically and haven’t met. Because I really wanna fuckin meet you. But also not. Cuz like I don’t want to ruin this. And that’s such a fuckin cop out response. But like I am genuinely terrified that if we met you won’t like what you see.

drumming_heartbeats: Why wouldn’t I like what I see?

jetblackrose: Because I can send you a message without stuttering like a damn fool. I can stare at my phone until I find the perfect way to phrase things. I can’t do that in person. In person I’ll probably just stare blankly at you and make weird sounds.

drumming_heartbeats: I would still love you, Gen. I’m not much better. I’m probably worse lmao.

jetblackrose: You’re sweet to say that. But I’m a very what you see if what you get type. I’m either hyper, loud, and obnoxious or I’m closed off and shy. I fluctuate from wanting to go on all the adventures to wanting to stay curled up in bed all day. It’s why I end up with failed relationships. No one can handle the wild mood swings. Which is fine. I get it. It sucks. But I get wanting a partner who can navigate middle ground.

drumming_heartbeats: Well all those guys are idiots because that sounds fuckin perfect to me. Like I’m a busy guy. And as much as I’m down for adventures, I’m also down to just do fuckin nothing. Like just being with the girl is good enough, you get me? An adventure can be as easy as building a fort and watching movies all day.

jetblackrose: YES! Like fuck, that’s all I want. Someone who gets it. Someone like you.

drumming_heartbeats: Good thing you have me then.

jetblackrose: Good fuckin thing indeed! God, I’m so glad you messaged me.

drumming_heartbeats: Me too.

~~~

jetblackrose: Fuck, I’m so stressed!

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, what’s wrong baby?

jetblackrose: Just lack of motivation. Like I need a mental health day. Only there’s too much to do that I can’t actually do that. Like if I could pause time, that’d be fuckin great.

drumming_heartbeats: Aw, sorry baby.

jetblackrose: It’s my own dumb fault. I know I have to get stuff done and I just… feel so uninspired I guess? Like I don’t want to do work. I want to do things that bring me joy.

drumming_heartbeats: Like Ashton lmao?

jetblackrose: Haha, very funny. But yes. And no. Like fuck I just wanna talk with you all day and bingewatch tv shows.

drumming_heartbeats: Yeah, I get that. But you’ll get through this. You’re strong. Love you, baby.

jetblackrose: Aw! I love you too, baby! Fuck, I can’t wait for my vacation in a few weeks.

drumming_heartbeats: Going anywhere or just like a good chunk of time off from responsibilities?

jetblackrose: Just a good chunk of time off. If I go anywhere it’ll probably just be around here. See some friends. Maybe go to the beach to get some use of the new swimsuit I bought.

drumming_heartbeats: I’m your friend. Can you see me?

jetblackrose: You wanna see me? You want to experience all this awkward in real time? Are you feeling okay?

drumming_heartbeats: I’m serious lol. Why not? We’ve been friends for how long now?

jetblackrose: Like 6 months? Holy shit.

drumming_heartbeats: So is that a yes? Can we meet?

jetblackrose: I thought you’re traveling for work?

drumming_heartbeats: My job is sending me off in spurts lol. Like I’m actually coming home this week. And then I’ll be home for like a month.

jetblackrose: And you want to see me on your time off?

drumming_heartbeats: Why not? Don’t you want to meet me?

jetblackrose: Of course I want to meet you Tom! I love you, you goof. But I’m nervous.

drumming_heartbeats: Lol, why?

jetblackrose: Because I love you this much with having never seen your face or heard your voice. I don’t want to see you and then have to say goodbye. If I get the chance to actually be in your arms, I’m not gonna want to leave.

drumming_heartbeats: Lol, good. Cuz I don’t think I’ll let you go.

jetblackrose: Okay, seriously, I could not love you more. Like are you trying to make me a flustered idiot?

drumming_heartbeats: Is it working lol?

jetblackrose: Yes! Okay, can I ask you a question?

drumming_heartbeats: You can ask me anything.

jetblackrose: Would… fuck I dunno why I’m so nervous asking you this… It’s no secret that we clearly care for each other. It’s also no secret that we love each other. But… is this all in my head? Am I confessing all these feelings and you don’t actually feel the same way in return?

drumming_heartbeats: Gen, baby, I’m serious. I… I want to meet you because I think we can be more than this. More than what we are here through these messages. Not that I don’t love our conversations. Not that I don’t want to stop having them. Because I love talking with you. I wouldn’t trade this relationship we’ve built for anything. But I want to keep building it. And I want to meet you to do that. If you don’t want the same, that’s fine. But that’s where I’m at.

jetblackrose: No. I want to meet you too. I’m just scared.

drumming_heartbeats: Don’t be scared. I love you, Gen.

jetblackrose: I love you too, Tom.

~~~

Gen sat in her car, frowning. Seven months of talking and she was finally about to see Tom. They had agreed on going to the beach as they both felt relaxed by water. But she was nervous all the same. Not only was she seeing her best online friend she had admitted to having a massive crush on, he was also going to see a lot of her skin, as she couldn’t exactly hide under jeans and hoodies at the beach. Not that she wanted to hide from Tom. She was just scared. She flipped down the visor and checked herself over in the small mirror. Then, she took a deep breath to steady herself and got out of the car.

She walked along the pier, the ocean breeze stirring her hair and bringing forth a calm steadiness within her. She leaned her arms on the wooden banister and waited. Her nerves had caused her to arrive a half hour early.

The water swirling around beneath her was hypnotizing. She wasn’t aware of time passing until a voice was calling out, “Gen?” followed by a small tap on her shoulder.

She turned, a smile on her face, nervous flutters in her stomach. As her eyes scanned up at her friend, her mouth dropped open.

The man giggled, a dimple indenting his cheek. “Surprise?”

Her eyes flashed behind her sunglasses and then her hands were shoving his chest. “YOU LIAR!” she shouted at him, her voice shrill.

“Whoa,” he said, grabbing her hands as she continued to push him. “Hey, I didn’t lie!”

“Yes you did! You said your name was Tom!” She ripped her hands out of his grasp, her skin lighting up in memorization at his touch.

“Clever, eh?” he smirked.

“Clever?! Lying to me was clever?!”

“I didn’t lie!”

“You lied about who you were, Tom! What else did you lie about?!”

“Just my name. I promise. And you don’t have to keep calling me Tom.”

Her voice shot down to a barely audible whisper as she told him in a horrified tone, “If I don’t call you Tom, then this becomes real. Really real. And then I’m the lunatic who just shoved my favorite drummer from my favorite band while screaming that he was a liar. And… STOP SMIRKING, ASHTON!”

Ashton held up his hands defensively and took a step backwards. “Alright, alright! I’m sorry, okay?”

“Sorry about what? Sorry you lied to me? Or sorry I’m mad about it?”

“Sorry you’re mad about it. I had to lie.”

“No. No, you really didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“BULLSHIT!”

“Do you see how you’re acting right now?! This is why I lied! Can you imagine if we had done this over messages?”

“I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“Exactly.”

“Your friend got you into 5sos… fucking… UGH!”

“Yeah, that was pretty clever wasn’t it?”

“I cannot FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!”

“Well, will you let me explain then?”

“Please. Wordsmith your way outta this one. Be my guest.”

“Okay,” he huffed, pushing his back hair out of his face. “I liked you the night of the party. When we actually met.”

“Oh, my God… my life is a fan fic…” Gen interrupted, eyes wide as her brain played catch up, still not believing this was actually real.

“I have to be careful, okay. It’s not that I wanted to lie to you about who I was. Not that I was. Everything I told you was real. My feelings are real.”

“Jesus, I said so many fuckin’ things to you. So. Many! I said you gave me a daddy kink! I said I wanted you to choke me! I said those things to someone I thought was a friend!”

“I am your friend!”

“No! You’re ASHTON FUCKIN’ IRWIN! And I’m… Gen,” she admitted, sadly. “I’m right where I was seven months ago. Meeting my idol and trying not to read too much into it. Only it’s worse. Because you’re aware of things I never would have told you had I known you were actually you. Please excuse me while I go die in a hole. Matter of fact, I’m just…” She walked towards the edge of the pier, placing her hands on the banister and pretended to lift herself up.

“Stop that,” Ashton scolded with a chuckle, pulling her off the railing and into his arms.

She froze, her body going rigid. “Let go of me.”

“No. I said if I got you in my arms I wouldn’t let go. And you said you wouldn’t want to leave. Now who’s the liar?”

“It’s still you by a fuckin’ mile!”

He let go but only to spin her around before his hands were gripping her shoulders. “I’m sorry if I upset you by keeping my identity a secret. I get if that changes things for you. But it doesn’t for me. I still feel the same way I felt towards you today that I did yesterday. And I’ll still feel the same way about you tomorrow and for the rest of my life.”

“Y-you do?” she asked, her eyes wide in disbelief.

“Yes. Maybe I went about this the wrong way. Maybe I should’ve asked for your number that night instead of waiting for the picture of us to surface so I could find you that way. Maybe I shouldn’t have hidden my identity. But I did what I thought was best. I don’t like being vulnerable. I don’t like putting myself out there. So I protected myself the best way I knew how. You still got the real me, though.”

She stared up at him. As much as she wanted to be mad at him, she couldn’t. He was still her online best friend, and she was still in love with him.

“Look,” he kept talking. “Maybe we walk off this pier and never speak again. Or, maybe you trust me and yourself. Maybe we make it. Maybe we don’t. But either way, neither one of us is walking off this pier the same person we were before.”

__

Tag List

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[ain-t-bovvered]

15X12 Commentary

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​​​​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​​​​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat: welp i guess we'll start?

Giulia: Ye

Zee: I know we’re not ready but yes

Nat: count as usual?

Giulia: U r the only one ready snort

Zee: Shush I’m faking it

Nat: 3

Nat: 2

Nat: 1

Nat: go

Zee: The recap

Giulia: Already hate it

Giulia: ...kaia

Giulia: Ok but i loved dean shout there

Giulia: But i also don t give a fuck about kaia

Nat: i could make a list of people i don't give a fuck about

Giulia: Why the empty has a dick

Nat: earth 2

Giulia: Look how much-waisted air time

Nat: this better go somewhere

Zee: What is he on?

Giulia: Oh look das me every time a clerk looks too clingy

Zee: President Hillary Clinton

Giulia: Nice

Giulia: Radio shed ads look like mediaworld *winks in italian*

Zee: Can he shut up?

Giulia: Nerd

Giulia: Oh and another nerd

Nat: weird that on every earth people are still dumb as fuck

Giulia: The World

Zee: Oh no

Giulia: Yeah that looks my kinda world

Giulia: Aaah beard dean

Zee: Other toys

Nat: He can't even make a world that's gonna function

Giulia: I can get what I want from a hundred worlds

Giulia: What she said

God/ ME A DESTIEL SHIPPER ABOUT DESTIEL ENDGAME: Dean says I'm not gonna get the ending I want. And I don't know. Maybe... I...I mean, that shouldn't matter, right?  I've gotten what I want from hundred of Sams and Deans. I could get what I want from a hundred more. And I don't care.

Nat: you can see the green screen. I mean him standing before one

Giulia: Amazing

Zee: Clear the board

Giulia: Can he clean this one too. I think he’s already doing it

Nat: our world

Nat: how do you know. still, he doesn't take out the dumb

Zee: Vegan

Giulia: ...vegan lasagna *cringes in Italian*

Giulia: Because he feels for them. Between similars u no

Giulia: Aah veins

Zee: I still don’t like it

Giulia: Ah so we are actually where we left off. I can tell u where my head is

Zee: I can tell you where I want his head to be

Giulia: Ooooh nice

Giulia: Look at Jack hair tho

Giulia: BABE

Nat: "I HAVE SPEND TIME WITH HER" *wink wink nudge nudge*

Giulia: 50k

Giulia: Scythe kink

Nat: ouch

Zee: FOCUS

Giulia: Bottom Dean

Nat: on what? dildo scythe?

Giulia: Please comment and reblog

Giulia: Hey

Giulia: No OnE

Zee: Is jack chubbier?

Giulia: Don t talk to my son like this

Zee: Sam should stop doing that thing with his face

Nat: He's just older

Giulia: I can count his gray hair

Giulia: ...

Giulia: AAAAAAAAH beautiful

Zee: How domestic

Giulia: Babe

Zee: Look at that little smile

Giulia: SO CUTE

Giulia: thank you for a small bubble of happiness. That shook my soul a bit

Zee: They seem a little happy. I’m scared. Oh there it is

Giulia: That’s a fancy-ass whiskey bottle. I want it

Zee: Kaia came looking for the spear

Giulia: Cute where is cas

Zee: Babysitting

Giulia: Of course she kicks their asses

Giulia: I wanna choke him too

Nat: they can't even fight one small girl. they're getting old

Zee: Can he get any deeper?

Giulia: What she said

Zee: THE VOIVE I MEAN

Giulia: Oh come on HOW CONVENIENT

Giulia: they pulled a Mary Winchester

Zee: Snort

Nat: i don't know what to think about all this

Giulia: Oh looks it’s us after the coronavirus. Eating lizards

Nat: I mean

Giulia: I just watch

Nat: I would eat it 🤷🏻‍♀

Zee: Dean said not tasted kinda decent

Nat: do I have to

Zee: YES

Giulia: SNORT

Zee: SEE? Babysitting

Giulia: ...listen….How in the hell...War Strategist angel of the lord cas loses at force 4. Fuck off

Giulia: Always makeup on point

Giulia: Not Kaia not helping

Nat: oh I see jody had time for lash extensions

Giulia: She must not be in quarantine

Giulia: ...La piegatrice mondiale. What a horrible translation

Giulia: Oh dean has nice hair. I wanna pull it

Zee: This is going so well

Giulia: Look at cas hair

Nat: He always goes like "Cas-tee-el"

Giulia: Tee-el

Zee: Are you only looking at hair?

Giulia: Cas sounds so done

Zee: But so good

Giulia: WHAT A SOFT LOOK I HATE IT DON T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

Giulia: A bit of a smokey eye on Kaia, What she used? Burned sticks? charcoal? Burned lizard’s tails?

Zee: Is it me or Jody looks older and Cas looks younger?

Nat: sorry but not Kaia can go fuck herself

Giulia: WHATEVER

Nat: so much airtime

Giulia: WASTED

Giulia: ...Shouldn’t he be strong af

Nat: I hate that the female's make up is always on point.

Zee: He’s gonna do something stupid

Giulia: Definition of a Winchester

Giulia: What a dad tone

Nat: I like Merl. Merl is me

Giulia: HEEEEY

Giulia: AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Giulia: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nat: Winchester dumb

Zee: Winchester dumb

Giulia: what a mood

Nat: she's my fave character

Giulia: I love her

Nat: i want her in all the ep

Giulia: I stan her

Nat: give her more air time

Giulia: She’s the smartest in the room

Giulia: What a sassy reaper. Like my fav sassy demon

Giulia: I love how the Winchesters are there watching, being all: yup, that’s our dumb kid

Nat: Winchester stupid

Zee: They know she’s right

Giulia: DONT BORROW MY ANGEL LIKE A BATTERY

Zee: Dead angel walking

Nat: I seriously thought Cas holds out the cup he ejaculated in like in a sperm bank

Giulia: Can I unread this

Nat: No u can't, that's what happens when I’m in lockdown

Giulia: Look at that cutie with his cute backpack

Nat: boy scout dean

Zee: Sam’s smirk

Giulia: Babysitting again

Giulia: BS angel chivalry

Giulia: SHE’S SO DONE

Giulia: love it

Nat: she should have said "in your own time"

Giulia: Me and you have all eternity, they don’t

Giulia: ...wasting seconds of intense glares

Giulia: Oh look the gremlins again

Giulia: The last healthy Italians vs the infected ones

Giulia: Last Toilet paper’s rolls and dumb scared people

Nat: snorts

Zee: You’re on a roll

Giulia: Dean eyelashes are fluttering in the wind. Sam needs a hair elastic

Nat: I wish something else would flutter in the wind

Giulia: my fucks

Zee: Hey kid

Giulia: WHY ARE THEY HUGGING

Zee: It’s before corona

Nat: I thought they didn't like each other that much

Giulia: Exactly. They have like 0 relationship, I don’t understand

Nat: It's weird.

Nat: if she should hug someone it should be sam. but what do I know

Zee: Have y’all understood the point of all this? Cause I haven’t

Giulia: Literally none

Nat: I’m bothered by all the other things

Giulia: She had time to do her eyelashes

Nat: so we did literally waste an ep with getting Kaia back, like for real? I watched this?

Giulia: ...AH

Nat: you know the last season could have been so fucking good

Zee: Wtf?

Giulia: K

Nat: ah

Zee: She found out

Giulia: What a meme

Giulia: Billy: last season

The reaper: my joy

Giulia: Death is angry

Zee: I was busy In Italy

Giulia: Oh wow

Nat: Merl had one job

Giulia: The writers had one job

Nat: Billy is us because she has no patience in them wasting an ep freeing Kaia

Giulia: Then u killed me

Giulia: Smoulder time

Giulia: Aaaah a baby

Zee: What?

Nat: Meh

Giulia: Why

Nat: God's destruction is Jack

Giulia: Another meme

Giulia: Writers

Giulia: Us asking if season15 will be amazing

Nat: right

Giulia: Go watch the promo

Nat: is that a fiat

Giulia: That’s a 500, my old car snort

Nat: Are they gay antiques, dealers

Zee: Apart from the reaper everything else was pretty lame. We waited almost two months for that?

Giulia: We went through corona for that

Nat: they look like gay antique dealers. especially being outraged when Sam has to lose the man bun

Giulia: With their cardigans and shit

Giulia: We should all live together. Yikes. They gonna die

Nat: they would scream

Giulia: High pitched

Zee: Tf did I just watch ? Loved deans bracelets tho

Giulia: They’re Jensen’s . Probably

Giulia: Oh maybe they are sam and dean that grew up as men of letters

Zee: Gay men of letters

Giulia: Can they get hot and bothered by Castiel?

Zee: Maybe not both of them

Giulia: Nah Nah both

Zee: Will the angel be gay too?

Giulia: There will be no angel probably. Also, Angels are probably sexless so who cares.

Kat: Y’all finished?

Giulia: Yup

Zee: Yes

Kat: And?

Giulia: WHERE IS THE FLAVOUR

Zee: LLLAAAAMMMEEE

Nat: I wasted my time

Kat: Yeah. Who gives a flying fuck about Kaia. Literally no one

Giulia: guess they are tying the loose ends

Kat: No one has thought about her in 2 years, she was a dead end

Giulia: Idk what the point was

Kat: Idk to have Jack use his powers for some reason? Surely they could have found something better

Giulia: Idk man. Between this fucking virus and jib and life and this writing, I’m very much blegh. I mean I love my boys. But

Zee: Let’s just hope they give them a decent ending and not something so lame that it will ruin everything

Nat: You love them and you want the best for them. not half-assed writing

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: lol what show have you been watching the last season

Kat: Yeah. It’ll be ruined. I have no hope of anything else

Nat: I don't have much hope but also that will maybe make me feel better when it's not as bad as I think it will be

Zee: I know but I can’t let it drag me down

Giulia: Yup

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby​​ or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

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[vanchlo]

The Assistant / Chapter Twenty-Three, “Bleeding Heart”

hello hello. i’m so sorry that i’m an awful person and i haven’t written in a bahillion years. life has been wack and i fell out of writing for awhile. instead of doing homework like a good human being - yay! - i found this chapter i had started and i finished it. it’s not as long as usual, i know, but i did that on purpose and you’ll see why ;) ;) ;) ;) i hope i can write some more soon and stick with this. i’m unreliable i know and i’m terribly sorry. college and work are crazy and my mom was just diagnosed with 2 kinds of cancers soooo oooo life truly is crazy and overwhelming rn. i hope to maybe set aside some time each night to write, but it’s hard to stop when it’s getting fun haha. i enjoyed writing this chapter and delving more into this story, like idek where it’s gonna go haha.

anyways lemme know what you think of this chapter. i wanna hear your predictions and thoughts!!!!!!!!! reblog, like, share with friends, say hi to me :) 

one last thing. we should decide a ship name for harry and becks, i mean it’s been coming. here are my ideas and feel free to send me others :D 

a) hecks (my personal fav) 

b) barry (i just think of rachel’s barry from FRIENDS but it’s ok) 

c) hebecca????

d) ??????

e) hecky?

“No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO.

I try to breathe in, but I can’t.

And suddenly the switch inside of me changes. Instead of pushing him away for the last few weeks, I want him. I want him to come and save me. 

The laugh that falls from my lips surprises the both of us. “You can’t hurt me anymore.” 

The swarm of voices that crowded my ears from before is now gone. A soft chatter of voices occupies the conference room now, around an hour after the festivities had begun. Now the fun is over and the last few of us clean up the forgotten plates, take down the streamers donning the walls, push in the chairs, vacuum up the crumbs, and everything else required to return the room to its former glory. 

“Hey, you stop that,” somebody says from behind me. “This was yer party, yer not s’posed to be cleaning it up,” they finish as I turn around to find Harry pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes as he grasps a wet rag in the other hand. 

“No, I want to help. Please,” I reply, turning back to the table and picking up the spray bottle. I spritz the plastic top and run the wet rag over the spot, repeating in sections until I finish the table. 

“Fine, I guess you can help,” Harry huffs and I smile to myself in triumph as I return to my cleaning. “So, what did ya think?” 

“It was a lot of fun and very nice of all of you, thank you so much again,” I tell him trying to circumvent having a conversation. I move to the other end of the table as he begins on the next one over. 

A few male coworkers fold up the table to my left and carry it out the door, probably to place back in storage. My eyes life to find Harry leaning over the table he scrubs and he must notice my pause because he meets my eyes. But I can’t look at him, not today. 

“I’m glad ya had such a good time, ‘m sure everybody else did too . . Everybody’s going t’ miss ya, ya know,” he comments, and I nod with a small smile. I don’t know how much more of this awkward small talk I can put up with, especially as the domino that caused all of this is gnawing at my insides. Particularly the part where he could have stopped it coming to this. 

But he didn’t.  

The rest of the clean up consists of few words between Harry and I, or anybody else for that matter. We cleaned tables, folded them and carried them away, stacked chairs, vacuumed, packed things away, and carried more things away. The room was now bleak with its new emptiness and quiet, all of the people previously filling it returning to their lives. Luckily I found my escape shortly after the room was all squared away. 

“All done?” a voice asks me. I look over my shoulder and find Asher tying up a bloated garbage bag. My stomach drops all of a sudden with disappointment at who it is, and who it’s not. 

“Yep.” I nod. Then I feel bad for being disappointed. Oh it’s just a never-ending rollercoaster, isn’t it?

“I can’t believe you helped clean up. The whole point was having other people do stuff for you, and then you helped them?!” Asher laughs with a disbelieving shake of his head. He happens to pull a giggle from my unsure lips. I sheepishly nod at his words, and I give him another laugh when he almost trips over the garbage bag. 

“Are you on your way out now?”

“Yeah, I think so. I just have to drop off some last-minute things - keys and keycards, that sorta thing. But now I can’t find the person to give them to . . ,” I confess, losing my words as I scan the room for those green eyes and that mustard top. 

“Hmmmph, well it’s getting late. Maybe he left or had something. You could leave them with Myles or Jennings, I’m sure if you wanna get outta here. I know you’re just dying to get those drinks with me tomorrow,” Asher quips, turning my lips up with his words. 

I leave him with a few words, telling him I’ll see him later. I say goodbyes to a few people as I leave the conference room and begin my hunt to find Harry. One I’m not sure how I want to end. 

I find my desk empty and many others as well. Glancing at my watch, I find that the hours have flown by. Many people jetted out of here as it’s five o'clock on a Friday afternoon. The cushion welcomes me as I sit down in my chair for the last time, but I don’t miss its welcoming squeak. The squeaking continues as I spin my last spin in the chair, feeling hot tears at the back of my eyes at the finality of my actions. My mug of pencils- no, it’s not my mug anymore. It never was mine. 

A polar bear post-it note holder invades my -not my desk - along with framed pictures of strangers, a bright pink day planner, candy apple lotion, and other foreign objects belonging to the new owner of this desk. Who isn’t me. A long sigh leaves my lips as I release my hands I didn’t know I was clenching. 

“It’s now or never,” I say aloud, willing myself to stand. 

Okay, Becky, we can do this. This isn’t even the hard part. 

But it is, I think to myself as my eyes glance up and memories that took place at this desk spin through my head. Making Harry laugh for the first time. Silly arguments with him about which was the better movie. How easily he made me smile by bringing me coffee out of nowhere and- Stop, Becky, you can’t do this now, I tell myself as I swipe a hot tear away from under my eye. I exhale as I get to my feet and feel for the ring of keys in my pocket. Good, they’re still there. 

The hallway is dim, but the light from the London evening comes in through the many windows around the office. His hallway. A hallway I will never walk again. Fuck, am I really sure I want to do this? How can I not see him again? You can and you will. You have to, Becky. It was too hard sitting there day after day wanting him. And him not wanting you back. I nod to myself, trying to affirm those words to myself. They don’t do that good of a job, because of the person I see around the corner. 

“Oh hey, bug. A-are ya leavin’?” Harry stutters, his furrowed emerald eyes falling on me. He comes to a stop in front of me, running a hand through his mop of curls. 

“U-uh yeah. I was just going to drop off the keys with you and go over a few things.” 

“Yeah yeah, sounds good. I jus’ really gotta take a leak, so ‘ll be back in a minute, ‘kay?” He asks with a pat on my arm. I nod with a soft ‘okay,’ as I turn to watch him walk away. Nodding with a thumbs up, he gives me a small sad smile before turning around and walking down the hallway. I watch until he’s gone. 

Almost done. But now for the hard part. Leaving him for the last time, I contemplate with a pout. I shuffle my feet to his door and twist the knob. Immediately, his familiar woodsy scent hits me. Suddenly, all of my senses are inundated with him. His messy desk. His blazer draped over his chair. Bookmarked biographies dotting his desk. Empty mugs of tea taking up empty spots. The essential oil diffuser in the corner humming as it mists Sandalwood. Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 trickling from a Bluetooth speaker in the corner. Harry. It’s all him. And my reserves begin to fall. Can I really do this? No, there’s no way I can. Even if I have to sit at that desk day after day trying to love him, it’s better than leaving him. 

Yeah, and then what about when he marries Amber or somebody else that’s not you? 

I gulp, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat and at the same time pressing my fingers against my eyes, willing them to dry. 

“Wow, are we getting a little teary-eyed on our last day?” a voice snarks from behind me. 

No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO. 

I try to breathe in, but I can’t. 

And suddenly the switch inside of me changes. Instead of pushing him away for the last few weeks, I want him. I want him to come and save me. To save me from her. And to see her for the monster that she is. 

The laugh that falls from my lips surprises the both of us. “You can’t hurt me anymore, Amber,” I snap, turning around to face her with a wry smile coating my lips. 

“Oh I don’t know about that, I still can. But hey, I won, and don’t you forget that,” she retorts. Amber’s blonde curls shake as she stomps her foot and points a tanned manicured finger at me. How can he even comfortably hold hands with those daggers?

Her blow hits me, and she knows it. I can’t hide it, because I’ve lost it. The last few weeks or even months have taken everything from me. My grandpa dying, my mom’s abusive treatment towards me, Harry’s bipolarness, and Amber’s physical and mental attacks. I lost.

“I don’t care,” I croak, throwing up my hands in defeat. The keys on the ring twinkle with movement in my hand. 

“But you do! I know you do!” she cackles, excitement twisting her plastic face into a Cheshire grin. “You wanted him, but you couldn’t have him and so you gave up! I won!” Amber continues, stepping towards me in her flowy scarlet blouse and skin-tight black jeans. 

I instinctively step back and away from her, but I stop when I think I hear a noise. It’s a loud squeak on the floor that makes me stop, but it doesn’t stop right away. 

“I don’t care, Amber, you can have him! I told him what you did to me and he didn’t believe me because of whatever spell you put on him. So you can keep him and live a wonderful, happy life together. I don’t care anymore, and I hate that I ever did,” I announce with weight to my words, willing my feet to lift from the carpet, but they won’t. 

Amber chuckles, crossing her arms with a pleased smile of satisfaction painting her face. “I can’t believe you had the nerve to tell him what I did to you,” she mutters in disbelief, shaking her head. “As if Harry would believe that I’d do such a thing. He probably thinks you made it up. Hell, for all I know I never laid a finger on you and you just imagined the whole thing.” 

“You left marks on me, Amber,” I spit out through gritted teeth. 

“Yeah, and apparently that wasn’t even enough to convince Harry. God, I really do have him wrapped around my finger,” Amber sighs happily. “I can’t do anything wrong in his eyes. He hasn’t even noticed how much I’ve been gone lately, or how often I’ve been texting this new bloke I’m fucking on the side.” 

“You slut!” I exclaim, not being able to hold it in. “Harry loves you and would do anything for you! He built this firm from the ground up! He’s sweet, he’s kind, he’s giving, he’s funny- he’s amazing and that’s how you treat him?!” 

“Excuse me?! Who here was throwing themselves at my boyfriend right in front of me?!” Amber argues, taking another frightening step toward me. She’s no longer laughing, but instead, her drawn-on eyebrows have fallen into a point above her glassy stare. 

“How dense are you?!” I laugh, feeling the anger rise warmly in my chest. I really don’t care anymore. “You have such a huge problem with that - which never happened, thank you - but you think it’s okay to cheat on your boyfriend?! My god, you really are fucking dumb!” 

“You just had your last laugh, bitch, because I’m going to slap that smug smile right off your face,” she snarls, taking several steps before I can almost see the flames rising in her eyes. 

“No, you won’t!” a voice announces. 

I take my eyes off of Amber to see who said that, but it’s a second too long that lets her clawed hand accost my face.