#because I am and it's relevant
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I really want to write a piece on my relationship with pregnancy/offspring as... whatever I am... but I feel so caught in the perfectionism and "it has to be good for the community" prospects of it all... does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with that?
#alterhuman#nonhuman#community writings#pregnancy#star speaks#what else should or can i tag this as. uhm...#otherhuman#because I am and it's relevant
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when you're part of a group with structural power over another goup, you really do gotta just learn to say "i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant" whenever someone expresses frustration with you or people like you.
#juney.txt#like sure to protect your ego you could try to make up some axis of oppression that concievably means you're not accountable for anything#and how dare people from colonized nations tell you that you have it easier than them just because you live in the imperial core#or how dare trans women say you have it easier than them because no matter what it'll always be your word against a tranny's#or you could just learn to be a little uncomfortable for a moment#and look at the situation for a second and say#''you know what? they're right to be frustrated!''#''and it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things if they're frustrated at me''#''especially if i'm being a prime example of the things they're getting frustrated about''#''i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant''
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Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.
Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.
That poster must be having quite the experience.
#politics#us politics#tim walz#for the record I am super fucking psyched for Walz#I think he did a great job#And I think Harris made the right call#harris 2024#Harris Walz 2024#jd vance#Vance is never beating the couchfucker allegations#The problem with your party making actual reality much less relevant in political discourse is that it can also bite *you* in the ass#Functionally it doesn't matter that JD Vance never bragged about fucking a couch#Because it got repeated so many times that now it's indelibly linked to him#If someone asked random people what they think when they see Vance I'd bet money one of the top 3 answers would be “had sex with a couch”#As it should be#Because it wouldn't have happened if his vibes weren't so atrocious that everyone immediately believed it
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Horse Meshi. Delicious, in Horse.
#dungeon meshi#laois touden#marcille donato#senshi#chilchuk tims#Anne II#I am over a week late to make this relevant but dear god I love the kelpie chapter.#if not for the several layers of foreshadowing then the reveal that nearly everyone in the party is a passionate horse lover.#Truly the best part of dungeon meshi is the sheer love of horses each character has. Fantastic equines by Ryoko Kui.#Chilchuck gets to be a little wary given what goes down in the bicorn chapter.#Rest in peace Anne I and Anne II. You were beautiful horses.#The pain I felt upon re-reading dungeon meshi and realizing that Senshi called the kelpie Anne...Hurts bad!#By the way I have strong feeling about MLP AU with these characters - but I would like to assert that Senshi is earth pony coded#and chilchuck is pegasus coded. I was struggling to draw my vision and went with whatever my pen chose.#Laios is a griffin because...come on if he made a MLP AU of his friends he would be nothing else.
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I had a dream the other night
#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#hajime hinata#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#an art#kuzuhina#I decided to indulge in sth like this because I had several nightmares last night (fine now)#How many times can I draw them sleeping together platonically? Yes.#But also a hint of the others to underline the whole survivors group#That song is really only relevant at that first verse ....but oh well. Hey does anyone know a song called 4 AM#The only lyrics I remember are 'its four o clock in the morning' it's been removed from yt. Anyway! Good day
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dear lesboy (and tbh any other nuanced identity) exclusionists who think your vein of thought is the majority in queer spaces id like to inform you that today at lunch with my (entirely queer) friend group the topic drifted to me being a butch lesbian and one friend goes "wait i thought you were a guy?" and i said "i am" and another friend interjected "dudes can be lesbians too" and that was that. no further probing about my identity, nohing about how im "invalidating transmen and lesbians", or whatever. everyone just accepted that thats how i identify and i dont owe an explanation for it and moved on. i promise u its not that deep 👍
#i love both of those friends dearly#doinkus.txt#mogai#lgbtq#liom#transmasc#lesboy#boydyke#male lesbian#bi lesbian#mspec lesbian#pro good faith#rad inclus#radical inclusion#queer#trans#obligatory disclaimer that i am not *just* a boydyke i am also a girlfag thanks <3#wasnt relevant to the post tho because only but butch-boy-dyke identity was brought up in the convo#i have said to them b4 that im gaybian though amd again no one was upset about it lmaoo
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I love the idea of teenage Malleus hating his new baby brother Silver but slowly falling for him
words cannot express how much I adore that Mal's reaction to seeing a human baby for the first time was "the fuck is this. why does it look like that. gross." (then he immediately got stuck on babysitting duty and the rest is history)
I am SUCH a sucker for that trope of "non-humans being fascinated by normal human behavior", so between that and all the delicious angst going on I was eating VERY well. >:) Malleus being so impressed that two-year-old Silver can walk, because it took him twenty years to stand on two legs! Lilia barging in on the Zigvolts at 2 AM being like "he won't stop crying what do I do"! Lilia trying to feed Silver rats and Malleus being like "...please just stick with what the books say to feed it"! it is all so. chef's kiss.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#(this is based on a very dumb in-joke and i apologize)#i promise i will (eventually) stop spamposting i am just still floating in a river of sheer delight from this update#god. the spoon scene is going to live in my brain forever#malleus having to be the one to teach sebek and silver basic magic because lilia was SO bad at explaining it 😭#also like...i had assumed mal didn't know who silver really is so it wasn't a surprise when lilia straight-up lied to his face about it#but now i can just SEE it hovering there on the horizon as a thing they're probably going to have to deal with at some point#like 'malleus doesn't know' is no longer a sort of general observation/theory and is instead now a very relevant Problem#ohohoho. splendid. things are going to get SO bad and i am going to be here clapping my stupid little hands at it all
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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"You weakened me!" By Ambessa is not a declaration of apathy! It is not her blaming Mel! It is when Mel finally learns that her mother isn't apathetic to her, that she isn't disinterested in her fate or disappointing in her, but instead she loved her too much and too deeply. That Mel threatened Ambessa with ruination, because the only way Ambessa has ever known to survive is by embracing brutality and sacrificing a peaceful death, while all Mel has ever wanted is peace. That a peaceful death would have literally meant the death of her child, back when she was still pregnant with one of them!
And Mel's disapproval of her meant that Ambessa could feel herself tumbling into a path of peace. Into a better path, maybe, but a path that for Ambessa has only ever meant death. If she could be more hardhearted, maybe she could have kept both - her family's survival, and her daughter - but alas. Her sending Mel away is not a failure on Mel's part, but in fact a failure on Ambessa's - because she could not withstand the arrows of her disapproval, now she needs to come to Piltover to collect her before whatever older enemies she has catch up with them both. She comes to Piltover to correct that mistake, to show Mel a harder heart, and yet! It's doeesn't work! Because Mel still demands of her vulnerability and she cannot help giving it to her!
Is there no greater expression of love, for her? To even contemplate opening herself up to that which is deadly, for the sake of the life and soul of her daughter? Is there nothing so undoing?
#telespeak#ambessa medarda#mel medarda#arcane#insane about their mother daughter relationship. insane insane insane#I haven't thought too much on the immigration themes in their story but if the Shuriman elements in the mv are relevant#then gosh. Ambessa raising herself out of nothing only to have her daughter kneecap herself#for the sake of what? Mercy? What value is mercy?#I just need to preface that I am not saying that Ambessa is right. She isn't. But she feels she is because it's kept her alive#and by proxy. her children alive. at least until Kino. and she is not the reflective sort#she will not recognize the flaws in her own method. She will only ever see the failure in not going far enough
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look at that!! i've talked about it so much and now chapter 1 actually exists in real life!!
#thank you fen for making me fibally post this#also for continuously writing with me#also also for listening to me despair over this#ilysm youre the best#ill probably have to heavily edit the tags at some point i am so bad at tagging i never know what to put in#especially with longer fics like. what even is relevant#fic: ritardando#jegulus#jegulus fanfiction#marauders#my writing#mine#*#hp#mmm i changed the ipa spelling in the description because i didnt like that it was actually teh english one#like thats not a word that should be pronounced english#it does look prettier with the english ipa#but the italian one is just how its more correct (plus sounds like i say it in german so duh)
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it wouldn't even matter if he did "shit on you behind your back" when you "never say anything back." the thing it absolutely boils down to is that you knew him when he was a minor and he has come forward saying that because of your influence and power, he felt uncomfortable around you. any POSSIBLE comeback other than an apology ends there. slur or no slur, any other response to that is bad. or, is it just that someone underage you've hurt in the past telling the truth about you only scares you when you know they have the public influence to protect themself?
#never mind the fact that the podcast was like a month ago. maybe more#bro really dickrides xqc that hard??#listen. real talk. I am not saying that dream groomed tommyinnit before it even gets misconstrued as anything close to that.#bc I feel like someone will willfully misread this post to that angle#im just saying that going after Tommy specifically when the extent of his shittalking was saying he was scared of you as a kid#isn't a good look. if this was really the point he wanted to make he would've made it about jack#who shittalked him the most.#so he has to be full of shit. because its clearly not about what he's making it about.#he's seeing Tommy go after big creators and getting scared about what he might say next.#why he decided to initiate that and shoot himself in the foot is beyond me bc now Tommy is going to retaliate#and its probably going to get pretty ugly.#yeah yeah blah blah relevancy publicity stunt I know. but Tommy specifically is such a fucking choice.#I know hes one of the most famous dsmp members so it makes sense but I just. I dont know.#there's something else going on.#sorry I got mad again lol#discourse#dream situation#mcyt
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charles & lando (+carlos)
"i resent you for having each other
i resent you for being so sure
i resent you presenting your life
like a fucking propaganda brochure"
#may this find the right people who get the vibe i'm going for 🙏🏼#this is what happened because i have this winners room charlando fic i've been trying to write stuck in my head for months#also this song fits them tooo well#working my way through all relevant charles pairings slowly but surely#didn't even mean to#1644 is next for sure i am obsessed#0416#charlando#cl16#charles leclerc#ln4#lando norris#f1 edit#f1blr#formula 1#*mine
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Some top tier Caduceus quotes I've been thinking about in these Downfall times. Something about how so much of Ludinus' position seems to rest on revenge. Showing Bells Hells the squabbling of the gods as they debate what to do about Aeor, and asking 'You can just watch bad people get away with it?'
It doesn't matter if the gods were wrong for their choices. Killing them won't bring back Aeor and it won't stop the violence that Ludinus and the Ruby Vanguard have visited on the world. I just don't see what it's for.
#I'm not good at writing essays so feel free to take this idea and run with it#I am waiting for Downfall to reveal something that actually impacts the situation now in 843 PD#It could happen! I'm curious to see what it would be!#it could also not happen. and honestly without a potential reveal like that Ludinus' argument is so so hollow and bitter#but. even if something relevant is revealed in Downfall#it doesn't change the fact that Ludinus is manipulating people based on his own desire for revenge#not to go on a tangent but now I'm thinking about Orym#people saying he's bent on revenge? no!#he's trying to make sure no one makes him again.#anyway#this is a standout moment from caduceus#(and I happened to relisten recently because it's ep 98 and I'm doing a parallel relisten)#and these quotes are just echoing in my head as I'm watching downfall#critical role#downfall#exu downfall#cr downfall#caduceus clay#campaign 2#mighty nein#nott the brave#veth brenatto#beauregard lionett
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boston pride is today so here have an edited repost from when i walked in the parade last year
Steve is getting boring in his old age (forty-four, almost).
It was inevitable, he supposes when he looks back, and he likes being boring.
He likes the steady routine of the life he and Eddie (married for seven years, now) have built with their three daughters (four, seven, and nearly ten, a notion Steve is choosing to ignore because there’s no goddamn way Moe nearly has an entire decade under her belt already), and he doesn’t find himself making attempts to mix things up all that often.
Naturally, Eddie is the one to suggest they make the trip into Boston with their daughters for the annual Pride parade, and when he does, Steve isn’t automatically inclined to agree.
Look – Steve knows it’s important for kids to see the world and do new things and all that enriching shit, but maybe he still bears some of the scars from keeping a semi-feral pack of teenagers alive amidst the eldritch hellscape of their hometown, and it’s not like they don’t keep themselves entertained at home – Hazel had finally got the gist of Go-Fish not too long ago and that’s been a whole new ballgame Steve is perfectly content to continue exploring.
In the end, however, the logical side of him (and Eddie’s ever-persistent badgering) wins out, and come mid-June of 2011, they all make the drive into Boston to see the parade.
It doesn’t take Steve long at all to acknowledge that it was a good idea. He hadn’t been to Pride in many years (again – he’s boring in his old age), and he’d forgotten how much fun it is – a true celebration of love and happiness in the face of a lot of fucked up shit and all that. The parade’s pretty good too (definitely a few floats he hopes the girls are too distracted chasing after candy to notice and ask questions about later, but only time will tell), and so is the festival afterwards. It ends up being a really great time for all of them.
Of the whole day, though, Steve’s favorite part is the trip home, a drive that should have only been thirty minutes, but turns into nearly two hours with all the traffic on I-90.
The girls are still riding the sugar rush of an afternoon’s worth of lemonade and fried dough and candy thrown from parade floats (Hazel might be succumbing though, if Steve’s quick glances in the rear-view mirror at the way her eyes are drooping closed are anything to go off of), and it seems as if the day’s contagious joy had followed them into the car. Robbie and Moe have been asking a lot of questions – mostly chatter about what floats were everyone’s favorites and who got the best face paint until Moe, perceptive as she’s always been, hits them with, “What’s Pride for?”
Which turns into, “Why do people think it’s a bad thing?” and that becomes, “So how did you and Papa fall in love?” at which point Eddie, who’d been fielding their daughters' questions so Steve could keep his focus on the stop-and-go highway traffic, launches into a dramatic and involved retelling of how their relationship had begun nearly eighteen years ago.
“So I told him that I liked him and what do you think Papa said?” Eddie eventually asks as he approaches the end of the story.
“What?” the girls ask with eager smiles and wide eyes.
“Nothing,” Eddie says ruthlessly, a wicked grin on his face.
“Alright,” Steve cuts in over the laughter coming from the backseat, “Let’s not be dramatic. I said something...eventually, and it wasn’t even that long later – four hours tops.”
“That’s right,” Eddie concedes, “And then we all lived happily ever after and all that jazz.”
“Good,” Robbie says, “’Cos if you hadn’t, today wouldn’t happen.”
“Hate to break it to you, sweet pea,” Steve replies, “but I’m pretty sure Pride would still happen even if Dad and I weren’t there for it.”
“We wouldn’t be here," Moe corrects him, "All together.”
Steve blinks.
Jesus Christ, these kids are gonna be the death of him. Can’t drive the damn car if his eyes are misting over, can he?
“Yeah,” Eddie says as he reaches over to curve his hand around the back of Steve’s neck, “Yeah, bug, that’s true.”
And thanks goodness for that.
#it's a very sweet moment and then robbie hits them with “so am i gay because you're gay?”#and eddie has to be like “uhhhh no it's not like genetic or whatever”#eddie: also......you're adopted so that's not relevant either#and then they have to explain to hazel what being adopted means (again) and she cries about it (again)#liv's steddie dads verse#steddie#steddie dads#steve harrington#eddie munson
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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....
And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.
The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.
And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.
Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.
HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.
But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.
That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:
His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.
Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.
#see also: my grinding teeth when people disparage his circus origins#like the only thing its good for is colorful backstory and explaining his acrobatics#THERES. SO. MUCH. THERE.#theres so much EVERYWHERE in every aspect of his backstory and his preexisting comics and yet over and over we get#....what if we just ignored all that and did what the fuck ever as though this character has nothing integral to him or fundamental to say#to be fair my gripes with Taylor are not exactly interchangeable with my gripes with the previous runs#but I lump him in as an extension of them because while evocative of different SIDES of my ennui with these takes on Dick.....#the thing about Taylor's stuff to me (or the parts I read at least) is that its generic as hell while only retaining superficial elements#of Dick's character and stories in order to point to them and say see these are definitely about Dick Grayson. like....only in very surface#level ways. underneath that theyre basically generic superhero adventures that could easily be retooled to be about a pretty sizable number#of other characters. tbh with the whole alfred inheritance thing it honestly felt from the get go#that Taylor was more interested in writing a kinder gentler Batman like a Bruce from one of the animated shows like#The Brave and the Bold who gets along better with everyone else. even the way the Brave and the Bold largely exists to use Batman's#popularity as a star vehicle to platform his co-superhero for the episode lends itself to Taylor's approach in his NW run#with the central figure - only nominally DG imo - basically existing as a platform allowing for the drafting of any other character he want#to write in any given arc or story in a similar way to how Bruce is utilized in Brave and the Bold#anyway. idk idk. my issues with Taylor are not the same as the others exactly but also they are and also I just plain dont like the guy#so I complain about him at any given opportunity even when its not technically as accurate or relevant as it possibly could be#I Am Flawed. its fine though dont worry about it. its called being nuanced
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Okay sense everything we know about the Characters in episode 2 is now Untrue I'm just gonna make shit up for these two in particular because I love them
They're a couple, not married but together for a while now
Cole's in his mid to late 50s, Doddy's in his early 60s
Cole is divorced, it was very amicable (he realized he was gay after getting married to his wife, she was understanding)
He also has a daughter who was less understanding about it as a kid. She's sense got over it but they still don't see eachother often
Doddy's spent a lot of his life in casual situationships, this is his first real serious relationship
It's also an open relationship
They both have a massive celebrity crush on York. When they got this job they argued over who would play the Murderer for days
It was eventually the show coordinator (The woman Eugene is talking to at the end, she doesn't get a name card and I am STRUGGLING to find someone who says her name verbally) who assigned Doddy the role because "He looks more like a Butler"
Cole did take all the photos they used as props, his reaction to being complimented was genuine
That's all. If they come back later in the season with more characterization instead of just actors than so be it. These are just my thoughts right now. Old man Yoai.
#Drawtectives#Doddy Timbers#Cole Parotic#Drawtectives season 3 Spoilers#Just read that comment on the video about how all their names are Anagrams this season instead of puns#Which is fantastic and also terrible because I am shit at anagrams#But they're so cool#I'm just gonna have to read all the comments I guess kfgdfjhgdj#The fact that we're struggling to decipher Doddy's name tho gives me hope he might come back later#And his anagram name will be more relevant to his second role#But that's just speculation. Who knows.#Anyway. Woe Drawtectives Old Man Yoai be upon yee
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