#because I KNOW this will not be the last time i feel the urge to capture his perfect face

[seafarersdream]

The Art of Braiding (Cregan Stark x Y/N)

In the harsh, unfamiliar North, Y/N Tully struggles to understand the strange customs that surround her. One of them, however, her new husband Cregan Stark knows all too well—and he’s not above using it to his advantage. The Wolf of the North, as it turns out, has a cheeky side.

*Inspired by the braiding traditions of the Vikings

TW // Strong language and profanities, possessiveness, non-consensual restraint.

“Bloody wind,” Y/N muttered under her breath, tugging her cloak tighter around her shoulders as another frigid gust swept through Winterfell’s courtyard. The North had its own bite, and it wasn’t just the cold. It was in everything—the stone walls, the silence, and even the people.

Especially the people.

Especially Cregan Stark.

Her husband.

That cold bastard. Honorable, sure, but colder than the winds battering against her face.

Y/N blew a strand of hair from her eyes, resisting the urge to curse her luck again. The riverlands were nothing like this. In Riverrun, there was warmth. Rivers that didn’t freeze over in the middle of freaking summer. Men who smiled, told bawdy jokes, laughed loud enough for the gods to hear. Here, everything was different. Even the laughter, when it happened at all, felt muted by the heavy weight of the Northern sky.

But this was her life now. A wife of the North. Lady Stark. By the gods, it was still strange to hear it. She knew the match had been made for peace and alliances—marriage between a Tully and a Stark was good for the realm, or so her father had said. But no one had prepared her for the rest of it. The weather. The silences.

And Cregan himself.

He was unlike any man she had known. Rivermen were warm, boisterous. Cregan was the opposite. He was distant, cold at times, the weight of Winterfell and the North resting on his broad shoulders. But he was fair, she’d give him that. And gods be damned if he wasn’t handsome. He had that Stark look, all strong jaw and piercing eyes. If only he’d smile a little more, maybe she’d feel less like she was wed to a block of ice.

Not that he wasn’t good to her. No, Cregan was kind in his way. Gentle in the nights they shared, even if he was quieter than she liked. He was a man of few words, unlike the men of her home, who’d fill the halls with stories and laughter. Still, he made sure she had everything she needed. He listened, even when he didn’t have much to say.

But gods, she missed warmth.

The sound of footsteps crunching in the snow caught her attention, and she glanced up to see him approaching. Cregan. He walked like he owned the place—because he did, of course—but it was more than that. There was a confidence in him, a certainty in his steps. He didn’t need to announce himself. The wind, the snow, the very stones of Winterfell seemed to bend to his will.

He came up beside her, his breath clouding the cold air. “Still not used to it?” His voice was a low rumble, almost lost to the wind.

Y/N snorted, rubbing her hands together. “Used to it? It’s like a gods-damned frozen hell up here.”

A slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. “You’ll learn. In time.”

She shot him a look. “And when exactly will that be? Because I’ve been waiting for weeks, Cregan, and I’m about ready to march back to the riverlands and throw myself into the water. Ice be damned.”

His brows arched just slightly, amusement flickering in his gray eyes. “The riverlands? You wouldn’t last a day without the North, now.”

Y/N scoffed, turning to him fully. “Oh, don’t flatter yourself, Stark. I was born by water, not ice. I think I’d manage just fine.”

He said nothing, but the smirk returned. Silence fell between them again, but this time it was… different. More comfortable, somehow. She studied him, wondering what was going on in that head of his. He always seemed to have something weighing on him, some unspoken burden of being a leader at such a young age.

Before she could press further, he stepped closer, reaching out. Her breath caught, not because of the cold this time, but because of the unexpected closeness. His hand brushed against her hair, fingers moving with surprising gentleness.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Hold still,” he murmured, focused on her hair. His fingers deftly gathered strands, working them with a skill that surprised her.

Y/N’s brow furrowed, confused, but she stayed quiet, feeling the tug and pull as he braided her hair. Her pulse quickened as his fingers brushed against her skin, the sensation at odds with the chill around them. There was an intimacy in the act, in the silence that hung between them. And yet, it was just a braid.

Wasn’t it?

“There,” he said after a moment, stepping back. She reached up instinctively, fingers touching the braid he’d woven. It felt tight, but not uncomfortably so. She had no idea what to make of it. “What… is this?”

Cregan shrugged, that infuriating smirk still lingering on his lips. “Just a braid.”

“Just a braid,” she echoed, unconvinced.

His eyes flickered, something unreadable in their depths. “You’ll see.”

Y/N narrowed her gaze. “What exactly does that mean, Lord Stark?”

But Cregan was already turning, heading toward the main hall without another word. Y/N stood there for a moment, blinking in confusion. Just a braid? She huffed, shaking her head as she followed him inside. Northerners and their damn cryptic ways.

It wasn’t until they entered the hall that Y/N realized something was… off.

Eyes turned toward her. And not the usual fleeting glances. No, these were lingering, assessing stares. Several of the women whispered to each other, and a few of the men gave her respectful nods. She caught the eye of a servant who quickly dipped her head in what almost seemed like… deference?

Gods be good.

“Why is everyone looking at me like that?” she muttered under her breath, shooting a glare at one particularly nosy maid.

Cregan didn’t answer, his lips twitching as though he was trying very hard not to laugh. The bastard was enjoying this.

“What did you do?” she demanded, her voice sharper now.

Finally, he met her gaze, and there was that smirk again. “The braid.”

“What about the bloody braid?”

“It’s… a tradition,” he said, crossing his arms as he leaned against the stone wall. “In the North, braids have meanings. Especially for women.”

Her stomach sank. “What kind of meaning?”

He stepped closer, his voice dropping to a low rumble. “A braid like that? It tells everyone that you’re… claimed.”

Y/N blinked, feeling her face heat despite the cold. “Claimed?” she echoed, her voice rising a pitch. “By whom exactly?”

Cregan’s smirk deepened, and he leaned in, his breath warm against her ear. “By me.”

Her mouth fell open. “You—what?! You did that on purpose? You—sly, stubborn—”

His laughter was a rare, low rumble that warmed the cold space between them. “You’ll get used to it, my lady.”

“Used to it?” Y/N fumed, her cheeks burning as the reality of what he’d done sunk in. “You can’t just—ugh!” She shoved at his chest, but it was like pushing a damn wall. “This is the North, Y/N. My North,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “And you are mine.”

A strange warmth bloomed in her chest, mixing with her frustration. The audacity. The nerve.

And yet…

Y/N's face burned hotter than the hearth fires in the Great Hall as Cregan’s words echoed in her ears: You are mine. Claimed. Oh, she was mortified.

She reached up, fingers fumbling to undo the braid that now seemed to burn against her scalp. “Absolutely not,” she muttered, her nails scraping against the tight weave as she tried to pull it apart. “I am not walking around Winterfell with everyone thinking—"

Before she could finish, Cregan’s hand shot out, closing around her wrist, firm but not rough. “What are you doing?”

She glared at him, teeth clenched. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m undoing this bloody braid before everyone in this hall assumes I’m some conquered—”

“You’re not,” he cut in, his voice low, but there was an edge to it. “And you won’t undo it.”

Y/N blinked, taken aback by the sudden command in his tone. “Excuse me?”

His eyes were intense, a storm brewing behind the calm gray. “The braid stays.”

She tried to yank her wrist out of his grip, but his hold was iron. Not painful, but resolute. “I didn’t agree to this—this.. this claiming nonsense,” she snapped, feeling a wave of embarrassment creep up her neck as she noticed more eyes turning their way.

Cregan leaned in slightly, his gaze unyielding. “In the North, it’s more than just words. It means something. You’re my wife. And you’ll wear that braid like it.”

Her heart pounded, heat flooding her chest. “I’ll wear what I damn well please—”

“Oi, Lady Stark!”

The loud shout from across the hall made Y/N freeze, her head whipping toward the source. One of the Northern men, a burly soldier with a wild grin on his face, pointed at her braid. “That’s a fine weave, my lady!” he hollered, winking.

The hall erupted into whistles, cheers, and hollers. Several of the men banged their fists on the tables, laughing and calling out words Y/N could barely make out. Some of the women were whispering behind their hands, giggling and exchanging knowing looks.

Y/N felt her face go crimson, her fingers still trapped in her hair, halfway through her attempt to undo the braid.

“Looks like the Warden’s laid his claim!” another man shouted, and more hoots followed.

Her stomach dropped. This was a nightmare. Mother save her, this is worse than a nightmare.

She tried again to pull at the braid, but Cregan’s hand didn’t budge from her wrist. “Cregan, I swear to the gods—”

His voice was maddeningly calm, but there was a cocky edge to it that made her blood boil. “You’ll leave it. And if you somehow forget, remember—we’ve got different gods, love. And mine? They’re backing me up.”

Y/N’s mouth opened to protest, but when she met his eyes, something in her faltered. He wasn’t just being possessive. There was something more there—something ancient, deep-rooted. A tradition that ran through his blood, through the very stones of Winterfell. She wasn’t just in his home. She was part of his world now.

But hell if she’d admit that to him.

“Cregan,” she hissed through clenched teeth, trying once more to yank her wrist free. “Everyone is staring!”

“And?” he asked, with that infuriating smirk still playing on his lips. “Let them.”

Her eyes widened. “You—this isn’t funny! They’re hooting at me like I’m some prize at the fair!”

His grip tightened slightly, not enough to hurt, but enough to make her pause. “You are no prize, Y/N,” he murmured, leaning close enough for his words to be for her ears only. “But you are mine. And in the North, we show it.”

Her breath caught at the warmth in his voice, even as her frustration grew. She had no idea what to say to that. What was she supposed to say? That she didn’t want to be claimed? That she didn’t want him? But the problem was… she did. And that was the most frustrating part.

The hall’s noise only grew louder. Some of the men had started clapping, whistling at them like they were some grand spectacle. Y/N wanted to sink into the stone floors.

“Let go of my wrist, Cregan,” she said, her voice quieter now, though it still carried her annoyance.

“Only if you stop trying to undo it,” he replied, his tone softening.

Y/N glared at him, her lips pressed into a tight line. But the heat of the stares, the teasing from the Northerners, was overwhelming. With a frustrated sigh, she dropped her hands from her hair.

“There,” she grumbled. “Now let go.”

He released her wrist, and immediately she wanted to punch him just a little bit. That cocky bastard.

“Was that so difficult?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement.

“You know,” she said, her voice low and dangerous, “you’re lucky you’re my husband, or I’d throw you from the Wall.”

He leaned in, that smirk still present but softer now. “I’d like to see you try, wife.”

The word ‘wife’ sent another ripple of warmth through her, and she cursed silently under her breath. Why did it have this effect on her? And why did he have to look at her like that, with those damned Stark eyes, all cold and piercing but somehow still full of heat?

She crossed her arms, trying to hide her embarrassment under a glare. “Don’t expect me to be all smiles and sweet words because you’ve won this little battle, Stark.”

Cregan chuckled softly, his breath warm in the cold hall. “Who said I needed sweet words? You’re a Tully. I’d be disappointed if you weren’t fighting me.”

Despite herself, Y/N felt the smallest hint of a smile tug at her lips. Damn him. He knew exactly how to pull her in, even when she wanted to stay mad.

The cheers and whistles finally started to die down, though the teasing looks from the men and women of Winterfell didn’t. She sighed, looking up at Cregan. “You’re going to owe me for this.”

He raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. “Owe you?”

“Yes,” she shot back, narrowing her eyes. “For the embarrassment. You’ll owe me.”

Cregan grinned, his cold facade cracking just enough to show the warmth beneath. “Fair enough, wife. I’ll owe you.” He paused, a glint of mischief in his eye. “But that braid stays.”

She rolled her eyes. But a small smile tugged at her lips.

As they finally made their way to the high table, Y/N couldn’t help but glance at the braid once more. The claiming. It was still ridiculous. Still infuriating.

But gods help her… it felt good—brutishly, maddeningly good—to be claimed like this. She was going insane, because part of her didn’t mind it half as much as she pretended to.

A treacherous part of her silently hoped that Cregan would braid her hair again tomorrow. And the day after that. And the next. For as long as they both lived.

[ariescancer2]

Ride it like you own it| B.C

Synopsis: Chan always needed someone who could ride him.

Riding Chan was something new since you and he recently started but when he saw you for the first time he swore to god. This man fell in love with you at that time he was hard as fuck.

At the after party of the Met Gala, you and him crossed paths. You, a rising American singer, had captured the music world's attention with your debut album "Dopamine," which soared to the number 1 spot on the Billboard charts.

As the night unfolded, he couldn't help but admire your captivating presence. Adorned in a stunning Versace dress from a timeless vintage collection, you exuded an irresistible charm that left a lasting impression. It was a moment frozen in time, where two worlds collided in the most enchanting way.

Rest was history after swapping numbers you were laying all bare in his bed your eyes looking at his ardor eyes that were filled up. With the urge to take you right here.

“Sit on it come on angel,” he said as he took your hands in his fingers touching the inches of skin and sending a quiver down to his crest. You let out a delicate whimper as you put your hands on his chest.

He was laying down as he helped you to sit on his cock.

Your cunt drenched up to his hardened thick cock. The cock sagged into your tiny hole. It took a bit of stretching since he was big he had to finger you and eat you out a lot of time before making you ride him.

“come on princess I know you can take me”

Damn, he was the right cause once he was finally inside you. It was like you could see the stars. Usually, Chan was the one who was the dominant one in the relationship.

Chan was on the pillow.

”oh channie look at you being my pillow prince” you smirked he groaned and his eyes rolled up as you lifted your hips on and off. As a beam of electricity surged through his body, he felt a jolt of energy electrifying every nerve and fiber within him.

Your pussy holding his cock like a lifeline his nails dug up to your skin leaving some imprints on your thighs. His cock curled up inside as you hopped.

The wails and the skin-slapping chimes scatter around the diminutive space. Thankfully, his roommates were out for the night, leaving the apartment quiet and empty. The soft glow of the moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting gentle light on your skin.

You looked so ethereal right now.

Your messy hair and sticky skin as you were sitting on him like a goddess.

“Oh god baby you look so beautiful “

He cried as he was close he could feel his precum leaking inside you.

He didn't want to finish right.

He yearned for this blissful moment to last more.

He panted as you rumbled your hips, his cock hitting your walls. “That's right baby” he cried cupping your breasts, fondling them a little.

You rolled your hips more as he almost leaked himself inside you.

“Come on change inside me right now” you moaned and licked his nipple as you bent down a little you gently kissed his soft, warm lips, savouring the tender moment as your breaths intertwined in a sweet, lingering embrace.

“Shit baby I am close” A small tremble escaped his body as he felt his face getting red he leaked himself inside you. You felt your insides getting wet because of his white cum jerking inside you.

He laid his head on your shoulder “fuck… only you can make me feel things like this” he peck your shoulder a little leaving the trails of wet kisses.

“I love you Chan” you huffed and beamed at him.

He halted bussing you and chortled a little “I love you more baby girl”

[runariya]

🐉🤫🥰

Wolf hybrid JK has a human female mate, and he wakes up to learn that his still sleeping mate has started ovulating. It's making him feral (she smells delicious and he just wants to bury his nose between her legs) and he has some fun trying to arouse her into waking up so he can satisfy his urge to breed her even though he knows she's on the pill.

(fantasy+smut+fluff) part of the prompt game pairing: wolf hybrid!Jungkook x human!female reader genre: fantasy!AU, established relationship, hybrid!AU warnings: explicit sexual content, OC's ovulating, JK falls into a rut, JK whines, a little bit of tail wagging, desperate and feral JK (and OC), oral (m. and f. receiving), 69, unprotected seggs (didn't mention the pill but alas), breeding kink on both sides, kind of daddy kink, OC rides JK, doggy, multiple orgasms, size difference because duh, allusion to missionary, lmk if I forgot smth word count: 1.419

a/n: I hope the love confession suffices as fluff... lol

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jungkook’s nose twitches, a mouth-watering scent lulling him out of his deep, restful slumber in the middle of the night.

It’s unusual to be met this early with this sweet, addictive indicator of your fertile phase of your cycle. Normally, your ovulation should start in two days, when he’s out of town, knowing that if he’s around you during these days, he’ll be forcefully thrown into his rut, which, mildly put, would be fatal for your human body in the long run.

But there’s nothing he can do now, his rut not only softly approaching but making an entrance with trumpets blaring. You’re still fast asleep, both Jungkook and you sleeping naked as usual, him needing this intimate connection during the night to feel truly safe and loved.

Jungkook can’t help but watch you now, cock rock hard and leaking endlessly while your lashes flutter in your sleep, soft pink lips parted, letting out small puffs of breath. You’re beautiful, even while asleep, but he can’t do much when his thoughts turn explicit, your ovulation triggering his primal instincts.

Every cell of his is impatient, tail angrily twitching as he battles with the dilemma of what to do. He might try to wake you up, see if you’d be in the mood, which he reckons you will be—your own arousal fills the air. He knows you’re horny during this time, knows that you’ve got plenty of toys to satisfy your needs when he has to be out of town. But now he’s here, and when his hormones crash over him, he’s gone and won’t turn back.

He needs you. Now.

So he silently sits up, letting the duvet fall from his naked body and carefully pulling it off yours too. You’re lying halfway on your stomach, one leg angled upwards, giving him a perfect view of your glistening cunt. You smell divine, and when your hips softly push into the mattress and you let out a barely audible moan in your sleep, he knows he needs to help you out.

Jungkook lets his nose stray from your neck down to your cunt, sniffing and inhaling you. His balls are swollen at this point, and he’s no longer able to suppress the needy whines escaping his throat. He needs to wake you somehow, but shaking you awake doesn’t seem right. No, he’ll give you the most loving wake-up call you’ve ever had.

Your cunt is now drenching the sheets, Jungkook lying on his stomach right in front of it between your legs, his hips desperately rutting into the mattress as he watches your weeping hole. He’s restless; he needs to bury not only his big, fat cock inside you but his tongue as well. With one last deep inhale of your arousal, he lets his instincts take over, knowing you’d love him waking you up like this even when you’re not ovulating.

His tongue takes a long, leisurely swipe over you, Jungkook entering paradise because you taste so fucking delicious. Your hips move at that, a silent moan again escaping your sleeping form as Jungkook continues to lick your juices like ice cream on a hot summer’s day.

Jungkook can’t help himself; he whines and moans against your core, pushing his tongue as forcefully inside you as his hips push into the mattress. He’s going insane, and every reason behind it is you—always has been.

The haze of his rut is too strong, and he can’t think straight now as he grabs you by the hips and straightens onto his knees. You wake with a yelp just as your legs wrap around his neck and your arms around his middle, your face now dangling right in front of his massive cock.

“Jungkook,” you try to scold, but it’s more of a moan than anything else.

He’s unable to stop, unable to distance himself from your cunt as he buries his face and nose between your legs, his breath and groans adding to the pleasure he gives you.

“Fuck,” you cry strangled, fingernails digging into his perfect ass as you can’t help but put his cock inside your mouth, sucking him off as desperately as he’s eating you out.

You’ve always wished for him to be with you when you’re ovulating, your hormones just too strong to really handle on your own, and even though you would have rather slept through the night, it’s not like you’re complaining now, secretly loving it when Jungkook’s in his rut—desperate and feral just for you.

It’s no surprise that Jungkook’s unable to control himself when his cock hits the back of your throat, rutting into your mouth like the wolf he is. The sight of his tight, big balls makes your mind short-circuit, knowing tonight you’re going to be sated like never before.

“So delicious,” he growls against your core, your hole pathetically pulsing in his face. And when you moan around his cock, arousal being pushed out of your cunt, he can’t hold back any longer and releases right into your perfect, hot mouth.

You swallow like you’re made for it, and he reckons you are, because there must be a reason for you to be his mate after all. He’s not sad his first orgasm hit him this early, knowing there’s more to follow and that your beautiful cunt isn’t worthy of his first batch.

“Gonna breed you like the bitch you are.”

And it’s like there’s a wolf inside you too, as those words make you feral in a way he hasn’t seen before. You push yourself away from him, tumbling onto the mattress but getting up immediately, tackling him down despite your smaller frame.

Your lips are on his in an instant, tasting not only his but your own arousal on both your lips and tongues.

“Gonna show the big bad wolf who’s in charge now,” you taunt while you line his cock up and slowly sit down.

He’s bigger than usual, and it shows in the way your cunt protests at its size. But you don’t stop, can’t stop. You need him, you need his seed to fill you up, need to pretend he’s putting babies inside you.

“Wanna carry your babies, Kook,” you mewl as you slide all the way down to his pelvis, cunt fluttering wildly with the fantasy of him filling you up until his seed spills through your body out of your mouth.

“Fuck, ___. You want it? Want me to make your belly swollen?”

“Yes, fill me up, Kook.”

You’re not sure who’s fucking whom—if you’re fucking yourself on his cock or if he’s fucking upwards into you—but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. All that matters to you is Jungkook, his cock drilling into you, and the need to feel as one.

You’ve never felt this good with him, never enjoyed the squelching sound of your pounding more than now, and it shows in the way Jungkook too can’t slow down.

“Baby mama of my pups, hm? Desperate to show who’s your daddy, hm?”

“Yes, fuck yes, daddy, please give me your pups. Love your pups. Deserve your pups.”

There’s not much more to say after that as Jungkook flips you around, his cock ramming right back inside you from behind as he keeps fucking you like he’s meant to. His fingers dig into the flesh of your hips while you bravely keep your arms straight, taking every thrust like you’re made for it too. 

Something about the way Jungkook fucks you in this position makes you feel so much more connected, and you know he feels it too, his primal instincts aligning with yours so perfectly.

“I’m about to cum so hard,” Jungkook whines as his hips grow irregular and frantic. And while you, up until now, weren’t near your own release, it’s the pulsing of his big cock inside you and the pressure of his seed spilling inside that pushes you over the edge as well.

“I love you so much,___.”

You’re a moaning mess, Jungkook unable to stop rutting, making you come again and again, arousal and cum coating not only your thighs but your ass as well.

Before you can collapse down on the mattress face-first, Jungkook flips you around again, his golden eyes shining down on you with a lust barely sated.

“I’m not done with you,” he growls, and as he aligns his still hard and creamy cock with your sobbing entrance, you know the night is far from over.

[aayakashii]

indirect kiss

loosely related to this, but not necessarily a continuation

Warnings: angst with a bit of fluff, pining, pining, pining, PINING, did I say pining? I'm sorry I make you suffer so much in my fics, Rui...... oh, and some suggestive themes, but nothing explicit!

Rui was never one to walk around with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. No, he was always too confident for that, too self-assured. He was as poised as a lion – head held high, unafraid of occupying space.

He couldn't touch anyone anyway, so why should he refrain himself from being as loud with his personality as possible? He was just all bark, no bite after all.

Yet with you, he quickly figured out he had to shove his hands deep, deep inside his pants’ pockets, all to quell the urge of reaching out to you. He figured his brain would shut off at any time and only his instincts would prevail – the burning desire to touch you being the only thing left on his blank mind.

So he bound himself, or at least as much as he could in a way that wouldn't appear insane.

Still, as you walked beside him, his eyes flitted from your lips to your eyes and to your hands that swung back and forth, back and forth – he couldn't do anything but be painfully aware of your presence, right there beside him; just a few centimeters away, yet still untouchable.

You had given him the grace of your presence during a short, simple mission outside, and now he cursed himself for inviting you for a short walk before going back into the campus.

He had no idea it'd be so hard to walk with you without intertwining his fingers in yours.

Rui felt the hair at the back of his neck stand up as he suppressed a shiver. How long has it been since the last time he has touched someone with intent? How long has it been since he had been touched? His touch starvation was barely acknowledged at this point, because it had become who he was. He didn't exist without it. Just like breathing, it was his nature. It clogged his pores, ran in his veins and invaded his lungs. Much like a chronic disease one has to learn to live with, despite how agonizing it is.

His medicine was to be distant. To keep everyone at arm's length, so he'd never be affected by the torture of longing.

He kept Haru and Romeo at arm's length, restricting his role to just being their bartender.

He kept Lyca at arm's length, just caring for him like a dutiful but distant parent.

He kept Ed at arm's length, but it didn't matter – he kept himself isolated anyway.

He even kept his old best friend at arm's length – Haku, whom Rui avoided like the plague. He thanked what little mercy the Heavens had for him, for Haku knew when to mind his business. He knew not to pry.

And despite all his efforts, you appeared. Burrowing your way through his walls until you had found your place in his mind.

However, his name on your lips didn't sound damned and, for the first time in so long, he found himself wishing for a cure for his plight. Wishing he could find that wretched anomaly and then finally drop his peaceful act – he'd rip its head off and drink its blood if it meant he could touch you.

Rui laughed darkly to himself. What would even happen if he actually touched you? He would probably be so pathetically excited that he could feel your seemingly soft skin under his hands that he'd end up cumm–

“Rui!” you barked, snapping your fingers in front of his face. He interrupted that forbidden thought immediately.

“Yes, sweetie?”

You huffed, brows creasing on your forehead.

“Did you hear anything I said?”

Rui laughed awkwardly, running a hand through his luscious hair.

“Sorry cutie, I was a bit lost in my thoughts there. What did you say?”

“I said I wanna go to an arcade. I want to have a go at the claw machines.”

Rui frowned.

“Claw machines? You know those things are, like, scams right? They're rigged!”

“Oh my god, Rui” you snorted, and Rui swore he could drown at any given moment due to his suffocating affection for you. “You sound like a worried dad! And don't worry, I know all about claw machines and how to win.”

You smiled devilishly, rubbing your hands together like a little imp ready to cause problems.

“Um…” Rui grimaced, delighting himself with all your expressions, but mildly worried. “You're not gonna, like… Try to kick them or steal something, are you? I know I am your ride or die, darling, but we'd be in big trouble if we ACTUALLY broke the law, you know…”

You raised an eyebrow.

“What are you even talking about, Rui? I just meant I know the strategies to win.”

His lips formed an 'o'.

“Ohhh, I see! I thought for a second that you were up to no good!”

“Me?” you scoffed. “Never. I'm an angel.”

You said it sarcastically, but, to Rui, that's what you were. An angel, a saint, a deity. He was ready to kneel on nails if it meant he could worship you.

Rui watched you make your merry way towards a shiny and loud arcade, with rows upon rows of claw machines right next to the entrance.

It felt good to turn off his racing thoughts by thinking of harmless little fun things with you.

Even if you were the main reason for said racing thoughts.

If you wanted to play with claw machines, by all means, he would play them all until you got sick of it. Although he still thought they were rigged.

Rui leisurely walked behind you, watching while you scanned every machine for something of interest.

His heart warmed at the sight of you pressing your nose to the glass, tip-toeing to see the mess of plushies a bit better. You'd also click your tongue and pout, walking towards the next machine, disappointed with the selection of dolls.

You were just too cute. How would he ever survive you?

“Oh! Look at that! Rui, look!” You said, after perusing through that endless corridor a bit more. Apparently something pretty had finally caught your eye and Rui made his way towards you to take a peek as well.

“Did you find something cute?”

“Yeah, look at that!”

He followed your gaze, and was met with a black bunny plushie – its eyes were made of black buttons held tightly by white threads, with a long white ribbon wrapped around its neck. It wasn't anything too impressive (there were many other plushies in there that definitely looked a lot more striking), but he wouldn't say it wasn't cute.

“Are you going to try to get that little guy? Isn't he a lucky one, being chosen by you.” Rui winked, relishing in the way you rolled your eyes, already immune to his flirting.

“Yup. Gonna get that one.” you said, decisively, picking a few stray coins from your pocket.

“Allow me to help then.” Rui picked up his own wallet and you shook your head.

“You don't have to.”

“I want to. It will kinda officially turn this into a date AND I can call the plushie our son if I help you get it.” he smirked, fishing out a few coins and then placing them right next to the machine's slot.

You side-eyed Rui, before you allowed a smile to spread across your face.

“You're impossible.” you said, shaking your head while you placed the first coin into the slot and began playing, laughter warming your voice like tea with honey.

He'd love to drink only that for the rest of his life.

“Is that a ‘yes, Rui, this is now a date and I accept you as the father of my child’?” He gasped dramatically, placing his hand over his heart.

You hummed, as if you were in deep thought.

“Maybe.”

The first attempt at the claw machine failed, but you were quick to insert another coin.

“I promise to take good care of our kid.”

“I will ask for child support if you don't.”

Nice. He had successfully strung you along that little joke. He was going to unabashedly use that plushie as an excuse to see you far more frequently. Bonding time between parents and son, right?

You clicked your tongue. Second attempt failed as well.

It's okay, Rui thought. He had plenty more coins in his wallet to keep you trying. Now getting that rabbit was a matter of life or death to him.

The third time's the charm.

Rui watched the bunny precariously dangle from the weak claws of the machine, holding his breath as you slowly moved the claw towards the opening, where you finally dropped the plushie. It fell easily, barely making a sound.

You jumped and pumped a fist into the air, celebrating your victory. You quickly turned to Rui and he saw the way your arm went back, as if you were preparing to high five him – before you awkwardly dropped it, when you remembered that you simply couldn't.

Did he truly need so many reminders of how he couldn't touch your fucking hand?

Rui shifted on his feet, smiling awkwardly, and motioned for you to grab your prize. Despite the bitterness in his chest, he wasn't going to let his godforsaken curse ruin his date. Nor any single moment with you. Not if he could help it.

He wasn't sure if he could actually help it, though. Not when he observed the way your fingers touched the plushie, gently feeling the softness of its black, velvety coat.

He gulped, eyebrows scrunching upwards.

It was painful, to have this much longing for you lodged deep inside his guts. It clawed and ate everything around it, until there was nothing else left and all Rui could feel was pure desperation.

He wanted you. So fucking bad. Some nights – when he couldn’t sleep, and all chores had been done, and his own touch was more of a humiliation than a quick, unsatisfying reprieve – it felt like dying might be more of a mercy than having to live with you by his side everyday and not having you to himself.

He wouldn't die at all, though. And in the morning, he would still choose to have you close every single time.

Despite coming to terms with his own feelings, Rui suddenly felt a wave of disgusting jealousy wash over him when you brought the plushie's shiny nose to your lips.

Those lips he admired so obviously whenever you drank a pretty little concoction of his own in his bar's glasses.

His mind ran miles per hour, sharp tongue ready to spit some bitter quip about your kiss, even if he knew that being jealous of an inanimate object was absurd, when he was inmediately shut by your actions.

You had pushed the bunny's nose into his own lips.

Rui's eyes widened, and he stared down at you as you slowly retracted the plushie and cradled it into your arms. He blinked, stupidly, rendered speechless. All his mind could focus on was the indirect kiss you two had just shared.

Meanwhile, you seemed to find hilarious how dumbstruck he was by your actions.

“What? We do have to kiss our son's little nose, don't we? He needs to know he's loved by his parents.” You teased, a smug smile plastered onto your face as you brought back the little joke he had created.

The spell had turned against the sorcerer who cast it.

A beat passed, while you watched him blink and gather himself.

“Huh…” Rui managed to blurt out and you laughed.

While you grabbed one of the rabbit's paws, you held out the doll towards him, offering the other paw.

You nodded your head towards the plushie when Rui didn't move.

“Come on. It's only natural for parents to hold their kid's hands while they walk back home, isn't it?” you explained, still finding his reaction extremely amusing.

After a few long seconds, Rui rubbed his face with his hands, barking out a laugh into them. He slowly dragged his fingers down his face, pulling it into a scowl, until he let his arms fall to the side and shook his head, still chuckling.

“You're the one who's impossible.” Rui murmured, half amused and half pained, as he grabbed the plushie's other paw.

You shrugged, grinning, as you slowly began to make your way out of the arcade and back to Darkwick – the plushie between the two of you throughout the entire way.

A buffer between your hands.

In a different world, Rui thought bitterly while you two walked quietly, there would be no need for a silly little doll between you.

In a different world, he'd latch himself onto you in his every waking moment. Even if he had the most boring days, the most mundane chores to fulfill – he would bring you with him, chasing your presence constantly. A sunflower chasing the sun's rays.

In a different world, he would make sure he would never have to fold his laundry alone ever again.

And he would memorize the texture of your favorite shirt and the scent of the one fabric softener that made you linger a little bit longer in his hugs, only to breathe him in deeply.

And he would wash the dishes and give them to you, so you'd carefully place them in the cupboard. All while talking about whether you'd like to adopt one cat and one dog, or two cats and two dogs – and you'd probably think the more the merrier. Rui knew he'd end up cleaning most of their mess, but your happiness would be worth it.

And you'd make bitter coffee on rainy days, and he'd love to do nothing else but place his chin on your shoulder while you two watched the downpour; swaying gently to the sound of a silent music only you two knew of.

And he would love to travel with you to small villages and big cities, but his biggest happiness would be to lay his head down on his trusty pillow and look at you right beside him, snoozing softly in your shared old bed. His back would hurt, the mattress had to be changed, but he'd hide the pain because the memories of nights spent awake talking and kissing and touching your body were too precious.

And, oh, how would he touch your body, especially in those moments in which you were on your knees between his legs, like an angel, and sucking him dry, like a sinner.

Rui shook his head. He could not let his thoughts wander that path. Not if he wanted to keep walking with you and listening to you point out all the cafes you'd like to visit some other time.

Nothing like a raging hard on to ruin the walk back to Darkwick, he thought, chuckling darkly to himself.

Rui went to look at the small plushie that connected you two, only to be met with your eyes staring at him, his heart skipping a beat like all the times in which he looked at you before.

In that moment, he allowed himself to wonder if you dreamed of a mundane life with him as well. If you wanted him on his knees, shackled in devotion to you for the rest of your lives.

And in your smile and the endless pool of your eyes, he swore he could see a longing that mirrored his.

[hanibalistic]

#946C47 | SUN WUKONG.

genre | fluff & angst

word count | 9192

warning | violence, blood, death / potential ooc + not accurate to jttw​

note | thank you for reading!!!

part |one, two, three

Opening your eyes from death was like coming to the surface after being underwater for too long. 

Contrary to popular belief, or at least the way different forms of media presented it, death didn’t feel like anything. 

There was no black space with your floating body or a separate plane of existence where you could walk on shallow water toward an afterlife. There was simply nothing, and that 'nothing' lacked nothingness. It was blank. It was a time skip.

The last thing you remember was closing your eyes on the ground, and the first thing you remember was that you died. Nothing happened in between the two memory spots. Your mind and body were dormant, like a computer shut off. 

The first sign of life from death was obnoxious and demanding.

Your ears cleared, but every sound around you fought to be noticed by your newly awakened brain that hearing immediately became an overwhelming action. 

Your eyes regained sight, but they hurt to use, like the permanent feeling of the sun in your eyes or an invisible eyelash falling inside. 

Your limbs moved regularly when you didn't think about it and stopped when you did, which you figured made sense. You never thought long and hard about moving your body parts before you died. When you walk, you walk.

Your breathing—the worst was retaking your first breath. Your body has been rid of everything human during your death. The motion to return those characteristics, such as blood flow and the traveling of air, was as uncomfortable as breaking out of a life-threateningly bad habit, as claustrophobic as suffocating yourself with a pillow.

But mostly, it was painful. It reminded you of being impaled by Wukong's staff; the jolt of pain and the sharp gasps were familiar. 

“Woah! Easy there, mortal!” 

Bajie stood up, his rake supporting his weight as he grabbed the gourd by his hooves.

Your eyes rolled up and down, opened and closed without a recognizable pattern. Your mouth remained open since your mind was forcing you to suck in big gulps of oxygen as if it was trying to nail into your body that it was alive and functioning again.

Drool dripped down the corner of your lips as a result, and you whined through each agonizing inhale, which lasted much shorter than your exhales because you were desperate to leave the pain where it resided in your lungs.

Resurrection gripped you by the neck and took you for a fly. Bajie didn't need to see the repercussions to know your mortal soul rejected being brought back from the dead. He figured it would happen before you even woke up. It was punishing you, and your body couldn't fight back. Unfortunately, he has no spell powerful enough to elevate your humanity to the point of enduring celestial phenomena. 

“Here, drink some water,” Bajie urged by shoving the gourd at your chin. “It’ll clear your senses.” 

He stepped closer to you and tipped the gourd up, letting the water pour inside your mouth. You angled your head upward to swallow the fresh liquid better, relishing the much-needed hydration. Peering at Bajie's familiar face, relieved tears welled in your eyes before you closed them to focus on chugging the fresh river water. 

He noticed them and chose to remain silent. Dying was never a trivial matter, and neither was resurrection. It was a destined matter, but nonetheless significant and, to some, traumatic.

Although he would have never cried, whined, or writhed, he understood why you did, and that was no insult to your humanity. It was a deduction made based on the experience of a mortal. 

Not a mere mortal, just a mortal. 

"Thank you," you managed after you finished panting from the massive water intake. 

“You’re welcome.” Bajie sat down with a sigh. “I have to say, it is nice to hear your voice again after so long.”

You looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

"You have been dead for more than five weeks. We tried to keep your body within the incense veil of the Keeper's Shrine to accelerate the process, but that was proven unsuccessful. We thought you were gone for good, kid!" he explained. 

Brows slightly raised with intrigue, you nodded. You haven't the faintest idea how these things work in their reality, so you've got nothing worthwhile to say. "How long does it usually take someone to return from the dead?"

"Resurrection usually doesn't take this long. Not even for the mortals of this world," he said. 

“As I suspected,” you muttered before letting a groan escape. “I need the immortality to get out of my body now!”

Bajie snickered. “That’s a wish I don’t hear often!”

“Yeah, well, I am not fond of living for a long time,” you said. “Life is hard enough as it is. There is no point in extending the suffering.” 

You looked down at your hands. A flicker of your home sped before your eyes, and you sighed gently, squeezing and releasing the tension in your fingers. You wondered how much time you’ve lost over there, if you’ve missed any holidays, or important notices from your professors or employers. Were your friends worried? You hoped they didn’t think you’d ghosted them.

“I just want to live a good life. A normal one,” you said. “I don’t want anything grand. Food on the table, a roof over my head, enough clothes…” You leisurely looked up at the trees. “I can learn how to find the tiny things in life enjoyable. That’s not a problem for me.”

Bajie’s smile was arched downward, almost as if he thought you were disagreeable. But there was one thing he knew for sure: he was right. You were no mere mortal. There was nothing mere about you.

“I’m curious,” you started suddenly. “How fast is resurrection for someone who’s not a human?”

"If Wukong were to lose one of his seventy-two lives, he'd return in the blink of an eye,” he explained. “That's the only reason why I haven't tried to kill him to cease his chatterbox of a mouth!"

“Are you sure it’s not because you can’t kill him?” you chuckled airily, pulling your knees to your chest and resting your arms on top. “He is stronger than you.”

"Facts do not equal the truth," he said. "He is stronger than me, but that does not make my inability to defeat him the truth." 

“I just woke up, Bajie.” You pressed a hand to your eyes and rubbed them. “Must you speak so strangely?”

“You should learn how to speak more eloquently.”

"If I talked like that in my world, people would make fun of me." 

"Gah! Your world is full of dimwits," he scoffed. "I care not for their opinion."

You stared at him with a smirk, then nodded in agreement. You thought the same at some point, so you've decided not to argue with him. 

"Where is everyone?" You looked around. The Keeper's Shrine was full of incense, and the forest remained as you last saw it. 

“Wukong went on a walk if he’s who you’re looking for.”

You pursed your lips, feeling heat rush to the bottom of your neck at his assumption. He wasn’t entirely wrong, though. You wanted to know where Wukong was—you wanted to see him, especially after the incident that caused your death. It was his weapon that killed you, but you wanted him to know you didn’t blame him for it. 

“I was asking about everybody.” 

“There is no need to deceive me,” Bajie snorted. “He told us what happened the night you died.”

“I was right, wasn’t I?” you muttered, dipping your chin into your forearm. You remembered what happened, so you could still recall when Wukong fell to his knees from the headache Sanzang caused. 

"My Master considers you a hindrance to our journey to retrieve the scriptures. We've had to diverge from the original path to seek hidden temples, and you weren't exactly handling the soul-sucking process well. It was time-consuming, and he thought we had set aside our primary goal of obtaining the scriptures.

Although, make no mistake, my Master is virtuous, especially to humans. But pinning the scriptures against you, he prioritizes the scriptures. 

“He thought when the opportunity presents itself, we should not save you from yaoguais. That isn’t to say we cannot protect you from them, only that we should ease off on trying to keep you from dying.”

You rolled your teeth over your bottom lip, the stinging pain in your eyes conjured by your focused stare on the floor. 

Bajie provided you with the clarity you have been asking for. A question regarding whether Sanzang has changed his mind due to what happened fell silent on your tongue once your mind realized its obvious answer—no, he has not changed his opinion about you. 

As a monk with values, who is true to his religion, he cannot change his opinion about you so long as you continue to hinder their journey. 

You weren't so much angry at Sanzang for what he did than you were conflicted. He wasn't off your hook, obviously. There would be undeniable caution toward him from now on.

However, you understood his choices. He has principles that he stood by, and you respected him for that, even though, at times, you thought he was more of a slave than a follower of those rules.

“I just wish he came clean with how he felt about me instead of avoiding it,” you said. “We could have worked something out. I am willing to make accommodations.”

“I don’t believe he thought you strong enough.”

“Must I be?” 

Bajie was taken aback. His eyes gave him away, as did the clearing of his throat. He never thought about that. "Well, I–"

“It doesn’t matter," you cut off.

“If something has to happen–for the greater good, I suppose–then it shall happen regardless of my ability. I will always be human, and I will always be unlikely to defeat a monster ten times my size. That is it. My weakness is a factual statement. But… people will always suffer under the hands of destiny. What must happen can't not just because I'm too ill to handle it.

"I will continue to not be strong enough, and I will fulfill my goal while so.”

"Hmph," Bajie scoffed after a moment. There was a hint of laughter in it. He realized that you’ve forgotten an important lesson he taught you: fact does not make truth. But, he supposed there was value in your humble ignorance. “That’s the most grown-up thing I've ever heard you say."

“Thanks,” you laughed. “I learn from the best.”

"Flattery doesn't work on me, kid!" he exclaimed dismissively. "Now go find your monkey! He should be with Sanzang, taking a stroll somewhere. He'll be glad to see you!"

“Who? The monk or the monkey?”

“You know who!”

You carefully got up from the ground. Bajie watched your legs wobble briefly as you rekindled your motor functions. Slowly and steadily, you stepped away from the protection of the Keeper's Shrine, and you halfheartedly threw a peace sign in response to Bajie warning you to be aware of yaoguais.

You tried to be more aware of your surroundings as you traveled through the forest, but the sun was warm on your face, and the ground was solid beneath your feet. 

You never thought you would think this, but you were happy to feel alive again. 

It felt like summer. Your bloodied sweater was likely abandoned at the place of your death. You didn’t mind that; it wasn’t expensive, and the weather didn’t call for it. 

Every heavy step involved planning a proper reaction to finding Wukong and Sanzang. You would be glad to see them again, but you weren't sure if they felt the same. Sanzang probably wouldn't, and the last time you checked, Wukong wasn't happy about your confrontations.

It’d be best to eliminate any possible instances of awkwardness. 

After what felt like a half an hour's walk, you stopped moving forward to rest your legs. Bajie said they shouldn't be far, yet you haven't heard a trace of motion anywhere near. 

Brows furrowed, with sweat stuck to your skin, you looked around at the trees and bushes littered everywhere in the forest. None have defining features that help you determine where or how far you've gone. You stepped to the side, the friction between the ground and the bottom of your shoes ridiculously vibrant in your ear. 

Perking your head down at your feet, your gaze hardened as your ears zeroed in on the environment. Nothing. The cicadas have vanished, the leaves were not blowing, the bushes ceased their rustles, and there was no dancing breeze.

This part of the forest has become silent, and you've learned that it means a predator is lurking. 

Pinching the hem of your shirt, you held your breath in your throat as a wavering fear crept around your head like a shadow phasing in and out of sunlight—there was no way. You couldn’t be fooled twice by a yaoguai, could you? The forest housed a variety of creatures and animals. It could just be a grizzly bear! 

“Tang Sanzang!”

You flinched at the piercing holler, your hands flying up to your head to take cover until you recognized it screamed a familiar name. With bated breath, your arms fell to your sides, and you spun toward the voice. It sounded everywhere around you, an echo throughout the forest, but you recalled seeing where the birds flew from where they were hiding in the trees. 

They wouldn't fly toward the sound of danger, so you should go in the opposite direction. 

You jogged, ignoring each stumble at uneven grounds until you eventually came across a spacious field. 

An abandoned building stood destroyed as if a terrible storm had blown a hole through it. It had collapsed into itself, leaving no room to check for its interior. In front of the house was an unkept grass field flattened and charred haphazardly by what you could only assume was a forest fire. 

The sun shone down like a spotlight at the one you’ve been looking for—Sun Wukong, in the flesh, standing with his waist slightly bent and a desperate expression on his face.

You opened your mouth as you walked forward. You stopped when you almost tripped on something soft, your feet flying up and stomping on the ground behind you to catch yourself.

Instinctively glancing at the blockage, you gasped aloud when you saw the one-eyed yaoguai at your feet. Its mouth opened with an unreleased scream, and blood stained like tears down its eye.

The sunlight panned across the grass field at your attention, an example of your mind clearing out spaces for other things besides Wukong. That was when you finally saw them—the dead bodies. Multiple lifeless bodies were lit atop the bladed grass—your eyes widened at the soaking red grass tips, and then you glanced up at Wukong.

"Why can't you just do this one thing for me!" Wukong screamed at his Master. He pressed a hand to his chest, willing his nails to cut through his body into his heart. "I killed all these yaoguais! I'm going rogue again! I'm becoming a hindrance! You have to punish me. It's your responsibility!"

Sanzang stared woefully at Wukong’s desperation. His hand remained under his chin in preparation, but he did not grant Wukong’s masochistic wish. 

Sensing the monk's unwillingness to cast the spell, Wukong bit his lower lip, a frustrated redness doubling across his face. He gritted his teeth and pressed his nails to his head, digging into the flesh enough to draw blood. He hooked his fingers around the gold fillet and didn't try to take it off. He only pretended to because he knew he needed it now more than ever. 

"Master, please!" he begged through a hoarse scream. "You were willing! When [Name] was–"he gasped through an irritated growl– "when they were dying! You were willing to let them suffer! You chose to punish them because you thought them an obstacle! I've become one, too, yet you won't punish me! How dare you!"

“You let me kill them! You left that on my conscience!” Wukong accused, but his finger pointed at himself more times than it did Sanzang. 

This wasn’t the outcome Sanzang desired when he let you die. 

Wukong hadn't been impatient about your resurrection; he was hopeless. If he were told how long it'd take for your body to return, he would have waited earnestly by your side, holding your shell close and keeping it warm. But he wasn't warned about the unpredictable duration, and you never woke up. 

He thought you were gone and spiraled back into his beastly nature.

However, Sanzang knew very quickly that the descension to madness was deliberate. Wukong was still clever and disciplined. He still retained what was taught throughout the journey before your sudden emergence. 

This murderous spree was not a marker of his return to how he used to be—the supremely arrogant and destructive monkey who nobody trusted or liked. It was a cry for condemnation, a plead to be retributed.

Wukong killed you, so someone else should kill him, too. He can suffer no pain but yours.

Sanzang read him like an open book. Unfortunately, giving in to what he wanted would only reinforce the behavior, so he stepped back and refused to spell, no matter how much bloodshed he caused.

"Wukong..."

"No! You're not listening to me!" The monkey groaned into his hands before harshly rubbing his palm down his face. "What more must I destroy? When will you be satisfied, Master?" 

"I am not satisfied by your behavior, Wukong. Understand me," Sanzang said. "I simply will not stand to let you guilt me into hurting you."

"You've already done that," Wukong spat.

"You cannot truly be bothered by this, can you?" Sanzang questioned. "The immortal peach has been consumed. Trust nothing else but the product of the celestial garden. Their death is not definitive."

"They're still dead!"

"Then I suppose they are."

A fiery sensation burned behind Wukong's eyes and painted Sanzang red. The staff appeared in his hand, still uncleaned with the scent of your blood, and he abruptly lunged at the monk, who took the unplanned bait and immediately began to chant the fillet-tightening spell.

Wukong fell to the ground but didn't squirm or writhe as much as usual. Exhausted pants escaped his lips, and he drilled his head against the floor, his eyes squeezed shut as he leaned his senses into the agony. When he looked up at Sanzang again, his body barely able to move at his will, he managed a triumphant smirk.

"Is this what... I must do...?" he gritted out, "I... I have to perform the bottom of the barrel... for you... my Master... to grant me just a little mercy!" 

Sanzang pursed his lips in disdain. "You push the limits of my tolerance, you blasted monkey."

Your gaze hardened at the familiar insult you remembered reading in the book. Their conversation didn't provide any context to the argument, but you could tell Wukong had done something forbidden, and Sanzang was punishing him. 

After Sanzang's voice fell, Wukong finally started to exhibit signs of discomfort as he scratched at his fillet. You never knew if the spell could adjust the tightness of the fillet, but it seemed Wukong couldn't handle the pain quietly anymore. 

His cries filled your ears, making you wince. It wasn’t that the novel didn’t describe it well enough or the actors had lousy acting. The reality of the band-tightening spell was simply much more painstaking.

You quickly stepped over the dead yaoguai to run toward him. Your knees gave out when you were near Wukong, and you fell, your palms scraping the dirt. You ignored the mild pain and scrambled over. You grabbed onto him and pulled him to your chest, a hand over his shoulder and the other at his hand, and then you snapped up at Sanzang, your brows furrowed with anger.

"That's enough! Stop hurting him!" you shouted, tears rolling down your face uncontrollably. You didn't think you were particularly upset, only that Wukong's cries affected you like most people's agony. Or, perhaps you were just afraid you couldn't convince Sanzang to stop.

"He understands. He won't do it again, whatever it is. He gets it, so just stop!"

Sanzang looked at you, his voice trailing off to a pause. You gulped nervously, your hands squeezing Wukong closer to your side as if that was any help. You looked at Sanzang like he's a cautionary tale, eyes cowering but gaze unwavering—confronting him bravely and silently, watching him like he's a demon but cradling Wukong like the opposite. 

"You're back." He glimpsed at Wukong, whose ear pressed against your chest. "Please return to the Keeper's Shrine by sundown. The night is dangerous."

Walking away from your fallen figures, he untied his horse by the tree and left, holding on to the rope, slowly strolling further away from the bloodbath on the floor. 

You gritted your teeth into a frown as a hand clumsily wiped at your wet eye. Confusion tinkered above your head like floating question marks at Sanzang's attitude. Undoubtedly, he wouldn't express much excitement considering his present grudge, but you thought he almost looked relieved. Not because you resurrected but because Wukong has finally calmed down. 

He stared at the grass with his arms around your waist, silently waiting as the world calmed around you. His hands no longer trembled as they did—an initial reaction to your sudden presence. Dry eyes made wet by trapped tears and bare neck made hot from a veiny and sour sensation, he relished even the fabric of your shirt against his skin. 

Your heart palpitated irregularly, and Wukong suffered gentle panic from that. Discarding the logic that your heart was responding to the worrisome event just now unfolded, your racing heartbeat filled his head with unhinged outcomes that served to take you from him again. 

There were no yaoguais around; he's murdered them all. Those who were smart had fled long before the altercation with Sanzang. The bugs whispered in their home, and nature resumed its daily wandering, moving leaves and blowing breezes. 

The longer you embraced on the floor, letting the sun kiss you warm, the more you relaxed. The world felt brighter than before, and your stillness in each other conveyed feelings hidden snuggly within the thousand words your exhausted bodies couldn't express. 

Your heart began to slow down to how a human heart was meant to beat: soft and steady. Alive. He wasn't entirely human, but Wukong thought his heart moved in identical shapes. He measured yours and matched it with his own, his senses isolating and gathering to hear inside your chest and his body, an overdramatic calculation to further prove to himself that you were alive. 

But his relief traversed your aliveness. It was a much-needed release from remorse. It was vindication. You being here was permission for him to stop physically and emotionally tormenting himself. You being here, hugging him so gently, unlike his feared expectations, where you'd flinch away because your memories wrote that he was your killer—your endearing hands spoke: you can stop punishing yourself. You no longer have to pay for a sin you thought you committed. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry it went down like that.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” You shook your head. “I don’t blame you. Honestly, I don’t think I blame Sanzang either.”

Perhaps nobody is the problem. One thing merely led to another. If one backtracks too much, one would end up at the wall of God's home, and it just wasn't possible for him to take the fall for everything. 

“How do you feel?” he asked. 

“Hm?” You glanced at him, the gaps of your fingers decorated with the rough fur atop his head. “What?”

“Are you well?” he rephrased. 

You nodded. “Yeah.”

“That’s good.” It was barely audible.

“What about you?” you asked. “Are you okay?”

Wukong felt the shape of your waist on his palm. Solid, pudgy, human. 

“Yes,” he replied. “I’m okay.”

Wukong joked that you should exercise more, and you reluctantly agreed. 

Instead of using the Nimbus cloud for faster travel, you and Wukong decided to walk back to Keeper’s Shrine together. It was an opportunity to reconcile, and since there wasn’t much to catch up on about you being stuck in a void, you gave him space to discuss the recent downward spiral of his mentality. 

He tip-toed around the notion that he descended into total abandon after your death. A core part of himself that was so carefully nurtured by years of religious practices and those around him was gone just from you closing your eyes. Even someone like him could understand the significance of that, the significance of you. 

You read between the lines and didn't say anything. Instead, you changed the topic. You shifted to talking about trees, specifically about climbing them. 

“I want to say–“ you paused briefly to reach a hand up for the tree branch above your head– “you are part monkey, so climbing a tree is an ability built into you at birth.” 

"It remains that I can climb a tree with ease, and you cannot," he retorted, peering down at you leisurely from above, where he laid cross-armed on the tree branch you were trying (and failing) to get to.

His snarky remark didn't motivate you. It wasn't his intention to anyway, as he flashed you a mischievous grin when you clicked your tongue and glared at him. His tail danced below the branch, taunting you by curling and uncurling, creating the illusion of a support hook and taking it away. You heaved a sigh; you wouldn't have grabbed his tail to pull yourself up anyway.

"You know–"He sat up, his legs dangling over and his waist bent down to lean toward you. "You really need to train the muscles in your arms."

"Tsk. I bet you don't even know the anatomically accurate terms for the muscles," you muttered and then peeked away when you realized neither did you know them. "Shut up if you're not going to help me!"

Wukong laughed, but it sounded like a holler. Slapping a hand to his knee and staring at you with a gaze you shouldn’t trust, he pursed his lips and agreed. He extended his arm out for you to hold.

Brief words of encouragement (to receive his help, not to climb the tree) had to file out of his mouth for a few seconds before you decided he was trustworthy enough.

You sucked in a deep breath in preparation. Gripping the tree branch extra tightly with one hand, you let go of the other hand and pulled yourself up with all your might to grab onto Wukong. But he retracted his arm abruptly, leaving you to scramble the air with your fingertips.

You gasped, your forearm clumsily curling around the branch for your safety, your brows furrowing, and a string of scolding words ready at your opened mouth.

“Sun Wukong!” His shameless laughter drowned out your words. “I could have died!”

He paused immediately. The speed of the emotional shift was eerie. You awkwardly folded your upper lip between your teeth and shrunk your head between your shoulders at his widened, disbelieving eyes. You hadn't meant to say that. It wasn't retaliation. You said it because it made sense—if you fall from the height of this tree, you'll die. 

“How could you joke about that?” Wukong whispered, and then he turned away dramatically, with the back of his palm against his forehead and the other wiping an invisible tear from his eye. “I told you how much I went through when I thought you were dead. You know how much you mean to me!”

It took you a moment. When you realized he was fooling around—still—you rolled your eyes. 

“Haha, very funny.” You blew a large knot of air out of your mouth. “Help me up, damn it! Stop being annoying!”

He jolted at your shrill voice. A sneer crept onto his face, but when he reached for you again, he held your arm and swiftly hoisted you upward into the empty spot beside him. His hand hovered before your body as you adjusted to the seat.

"See? That wasn't so hard," you mused when you were done.

"You're being dramatic."

You chuckled through pursed lips, which made you sound triumphant. Looking over at him, your eyes squinted knowingly, you pointed out, "You remember what happened the last time you told me I was being dramatic, right?"

"Oh dear," he groaned, closing his eyes tightly and facing skyward with his hands on his head as if he were airing out his grievances to Heaven. "I'm never going to live that down, will I?”

"Not until I leave this place."

Wukong opened his eyes slowly. 

Sky blue is a blinding color, or perhaps the Sun. He never cared to know. He didn't look up too much because of all the enemies who lived there. But he became curious recently. You made him curious. He wondered if your sky was as difficult to observe as his.

“What do you plan to do when you go back?” he asked.

It wasn’t something you thought about until he asked. Everyone was working to find a way to bring you home. Erlang Shen has, surprisingly, sent you a few update letters on his progress, occasionally requesting a written reply to gather more information.

You never thought it was an impossible feat; if there’s a way for you to arrive here, there’s a way for you to leave. But the operation completely slipped your mind these days. 

"Eat an actual meal?" you slurred from a pout. "Sandwiches, french fries, ice cream…" A faux, tearful sob choked up your throat as your eyes squeezed, and you covered your head with your hands. "I'll kill for a can of Pringles even."

“It sounds like you miss home a lot,” he commented. 

“Not really.” A disagreeing scrunch showed up briefly on your face as you shrugged. “Outside of the food, a select group of people… and the internet, I guess. I don’t think I miss it that much.”

Wukong nodded. Unlike you, he’s obsessively thought about your departure since Erlang Shen began sending letters to you through any form of a flight animal. He understood there wasn’t anything more to think about. Any emotional obstacles he encountered have been dissected and analyzed so thoroughly that, at this point, he was merely recycling his thoughts and worrying himself. 

How wonderful would it be if you decided not to leave? If there wasn't anything you missed, why couldn't you stay? But he knew better than to ask you of such a huge favor—abandoning your life, leaving all that you've built behind, discarding your potential to be greater over there than here. For him or not, he couldn't ask you to do that, and he wouldn't. 

His head was lowered, and his eyes fixated on his lap to avoid showing the microchanges in his expressions. But you weren't looking at him. When he discreetly turned to you, you were staring at the sky.

Contentment filled the air around you; you seemed to enjoy the view as if you never got to properly look at the blueness back where you came from. He smiled to himself and faced forward. 

Whatever time you’ve got left with each other. Months, weeks, days, or even just hours—Wukong considers all seconds of it destiny. 

He understood if something has to happen, then it shall.

“I’m going to miss you,” he said. 

You widened your eyes faintly and turned to him. 

His confession was unexpected. It was well-received because you somewhat returned the sentiment. When you leave, Wukong's world, full of magic and adventures, won't remind him of you. But your world full of stories and sculptures would always remind you of him. Rather than missing him, you supposed you would think of him a lot. 

“I’m going to think of you,” you returned.

He smirked briefly and fiddled with his thumbs, letting the silence eat away at the end of that conversation before he opened his mouth to speak again. 

“I’m still sorry,” he muttered, “about everything.”

It wasn't lost on you how groundbreaking it was that a character designed to be as arrogant as Wukong opened his mouth to apologize to you. You honestly didn't think you cared too much about what happened. The void didn't make you suffer. You fell asleep and then woke up—the process of them was painful but not enough to justify a grudge. 

“过去已成往事,” you said. “Water under the bridge.”

Wukong raised a brow, a somewhat impressed hum sounding from his throat. “How many idioms did that pig teach you?”

"He didn't teach me. He just says it a lot."

"He does. Sometimes, I pretend I understand what he's saying, not to give him satisfaction. Wukong scoffed, the hair on his body almost trembling in distaste. "Oh, by the way," he said through a sharp inhale and sat up. "What is Pringles?"

“Oh! Uh, it’s a brand of chips, but you don’t know that.” You held up your hand and pressed your fingers into a thin line. “It’s about this big. Depending on the flavor, it can be salty, spicy, or even sweet–“ you inhaled before returning to your previous mourning position– “Oh my god, I might actually kill for a single Pringles chip.”

Wukong scoffed and crossed his arms. “You can’t even climb a tree.”

“Hey, strength is not the only factor that makes up a killer,” you argued. “There’s motivation. There’s, uh, cleverness, calmness, wit–“

“Out of all four of them, you only have one,” he mused, leaning toward your face. “And it’s none of the latter ones.”

You smiled sarcastically before abruptly slapping a hand to his shoulder, surprisingly shoving him off the tree branch. A gasp ripped through your mouth, and you covered it. Carefully but quickly, you leaned your torso forward to glance at the ground. 

There wasn't a shadow of Wukong anywhere, which didn't make sense. The tree was tall, but it wasn't giant. You were still able to get a clear view of the ground! Either he has a secret hidden power of teleportation that he never told you about, even though it might have been handy in furthering the process of finding your way home, or he whisked himself away at the last second and went into hiding to prank you.

Couldn't say you missed those pranks, really.

"I know you better than believing you would fall to your death, Wukong, so come out–gasp!”

A sharp wind cut over your hair as the Ryui Jingu Bang extended in length at lightning speed. The leaves around you shifted, opening doors to let the sun in. 

Wukong, crouching on the top of his weapon with impeccable balance, was elevated to your face level. He grinned with amusement as he waited for you to slowly reveal yourself from your forearms, which covered your face from the gusts of wind just now. You opened your eyes to see him; under the sunlight, he thought they looked whimsical like water. 

"Hey," he greeted, bringing a hand off his knee to softly flick the tip of your nose with his fingers. "You know, I wish you would still worry about me a little, even though you know I'm competent."

"I do worry," you said. "I'll worry about you for a long time."

He whistled playfully. "For a long time?"

When you leave, there is no knowing how much chaos he'll cause and how much he'll suffer from it. You never wanted him to suffer, so you worry—you worry a great deal. 

You worry about him, and you are afraid for him. You grieve for him, and you cheer for him. Here or there, together or separate, it'll all be for him.

"Yes," you confirmed.

Wukong grinned. It was silly, but his heart knocked with an irregular rhythm, and he was both flustered and bitter. 

“Come on,” he reached a hand out, “let’s head back.”

You stared at him dubiously before taking his invite. He carefully tugged at your arm, and you let him, maneuvering your body to allow him more accessible access to pull you to his chest. His hand went under your knees, holding you sturdy, and you didn't bother to hold onto him for extra stability.

“Hey, you know–“ you looked up at his chin–“the last time you held me like this, I asked about those dreams you had of me. You still haven’t told me anything about that.”

He grimaced. He still didn’t plan to. 

Wukong didn't want to leave you alone with Sanzang, but under Bajie's physically violent persuasion (repeatedly knocking his back with a rake), he caved and went with everyone else to the nearby river for some water.

You weren't nervous because you knew it wasn't a confrontation. There was nothing serious the monk had to confront you with; you didn't count his opinion of you being incompetent and weak as a subject of a confrontation. His problem with you being a hindrance to their journey was but his speculation.

His feelings were valid, but they were also of his own making.

Sitting across from him by the fireplace, you remained silent and waited for him to speak. He didn't look at you. Either he didn't want to, or he felt too awkward. You didn't mind. His white horse, all curled up a few feet behind him, was a sight for sore eyes.

"Erlang Shen sent us a letter."

"Oh?" You perked up. It has been a while since you last received news from him.

"They think they've found a way to bring you home, and he has requested that you go back to test the method."

Jaw dropping slowly at the surprising news, you managed a few absentminded nods before looking down at the ground. 

Your shoes weren't new anymore. They were stained with dirt, dried petals, blood, and barely scraped-off substances. The bottom of it felt thin because of all the walking you've done. Perhaps you were wrong. The first thing you'd do when you return should be to get a new pair of shoes.

"I've been here long enough," you said. It was a thought that resulted from your shoes, perhaps. "They're bound to figure something out one of these days."

"I agree." Sanzang nodded. "Except, there is a problem."

You squinted your eyes and squeezed your hands together. It felt like your heart should beat faster, in rage, disappointment, or dissatisfaction, but you were steady as a log and calm as the mountain.

It didn't take him too long to reveal his intention, and you caught on immediately. No wonder he shooed everyone away and requested to speak to you privately. This wasn't a confrontation. This was a request, a shameful request. 

It has been cleared up whether Sanzang hates you, but the solved mystery merely turned into a problem that could only be solved by your departure, which cannot happen until you lose the remainder of your lives.

Sanzang wanted you to deal with your immortality faster.

"I heard from Bajie that you find me bothersome," you said.

His face was still like a rock. He didn't so much as twitch a muscle. If the tension weren't evident, you'd find the time to admire the stoicism.

"How surprising that you didn't figure that out from my actions alone," he said. "But he tells the truth. I do find you bothersome to our original journey."

"You must understand I cannot be faulted."

He paused for a prolonged second, his fixated eyes a loose image of gears turning in his head.

You were correct—to some level, at least. You never asked to be here; teleportation was beyond your control. You never asked to consume the immortal peach; even he cannot blame you for falling for that insolent monkey's many tricks. You never asked to undergo excruciating pain; your human body would never be fit for magical trials.

Nothing was your fault, except everything was because you're here. Everything happened because you're here. It may not be your intention to be here, but you were—results trump intentions. That has always been the curse. 

"You are not at fault, yes," Sanzang said. "But I blame you still. Just for being here, for being the clog that springs it all to life."

“But… that is not the only problem," Sanzang said.

You rolled your eyes and groaned, giving him a pointed raise of your brows to continue.

"You distract Wukong."

"That–" You poked your tongue at your inner cheek and squinted curiously. With an acknowledging hum and a sudden position that expressed intrigue in the conversation, you nodded at Sanzang. "Do you know about his dreams?"

It was the first time Sanzang's features ever shifted. He leaned back at your abrupt interest and frowned. "I don't know what you're speaking of."

"Really?" Your voice was low and dubious, but then you remembered Sanzang would, at any given chance, snitch on the blasted monkey he spoke so lowly of, and all your doubts vanished. He would have told you to embarrass the monkey. If he didn't, it was either he really disliked you or was telling the truth.

"He is distracted around you. Less cautious, more naive, and making careless mistakes. It’s as if he's lost his head.”

"Doesn't he always act like that?" you questioned. Walls of texts—blurred texts—from their novel flashed slowly before your eyes, and you faintly shook your head. "Actually… no. Wukong doesn't act like that. You…” The minor accusation fell weakly on your tongue. Your unwillingness to stir trouble made you backtrack, and you sighed. "Never mind."

“He enjoys your presence,” Sanzang said. “Surely, you’ve noticed that.”

"You don't think I got the memo when he fed me the immortal peach?" you grumbled through a sardonic chuckle. "I'm leaving, Sanzang. I shouldn't feed into it."

“How do you feel about him, then?”

Arching your neck to stare him down, you wondered why the monk would be interested in how you felt outside of hoping he'd find leverage against Wukong. It felt like a trap. A normal conversation with him about potentially romantic feelings felt like a trap. But, more importantly, you weren't sure how you felt about him, so you got the perfect excuse not to answer the question. 

“I’m not telling you that,” you replied monotonously. 

“That’s fair.” 

"I also won't force myself to do what you want," you added firmly. "I will try my best at the temples, but if it's physically impossible to continue, I will stop whenever I want. I do not care about your peace. I won't push my limits for you. You'll just have to wait it out."

Silence engulfed the air.

“That’s fair, too,” he replied. 

You have been here long enough to watch the seasons change. 

If you had the exact date, you could tell if Winter already arrived or if it was still late Autumn. To combat the cold, they had brought you to a town mid-journey and bought you a thin cloak. White fur was sewn to the collar to form a makeshift scarf. Those were the only options; you'd rather not freeze in the occasional snow. 

It kept you warm, and it kept you safe. You had pulled it closer around yourself when the Buddha you met this morning notified you that you were rid of your immortality. 

“Can’t sleep?”

You peered up at Wukong, who sat beside you with one leg propped up.

"No," you replied.

"Me neither." He tapped his index finger against his knee. "Oh, by the way, it's not real fur."

"Huh?"

He turned to you and pointed at your cloak, which you then wrapped tighter around yourself.

"I went back to the store to ask. It wasn't the best idea. I nearly scared that old man half to death showing up at his home," he snickered faintly and rubbed the back of his head. He stared at the floor almost bashfully. "I noticed you were doubtful when we got you the cloak. That was the only problem I could think of, so I had to go back and make sure. I just kept forgetting to let you know."

You stared at him, subconsciously reaching up to touch the warm softness around your neck. A smirk played on your face, and you turned away to hide it. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"No problem," he muttered. "So! Tomorrow, early in the morning, you and I will head back to see that third-eyed freak! I can't say I'm excited to see him ever again! 

You pressed your legs closer to your chest and pursed your lips. Wukong was trying too hard to fill the awkward silence that wasn't meant to be awkward. It was an anxious sadness—the anxiety of experiencing an impending sadness—bottled and replaced by awkwardness. It was a facade. You two just didn't know what to say to each other before the eternal separation. 

A bitter taste developed around your mouth, forcing you to salivate uncomfortably. You swallowed the knots, feeling them drop past your throat and bounce on your heart to make it beat irregularly. 

You enjoyed being around Wukong. If you allowed it, you might even let your feelings for him develop and eventually admit that you liked him. But you didn't allow that, as you've decided to prioritize returning home. 

Nobody accused you of making that choice, not even Wukong. He would never. It was you who felt guilty for choosing to leave, and that still plagued you to this day. 

"I'm so sorry," you said suddenly.

Wukong slowly met your eyes. The confusion initially sitting in them vanished when he saw your furrowed brows and tearful eyes—whimsical like water. He wasn't wrong about that. Panicked, his hands hovered around your face, and he wiggled about, unsure what to do.

"What happened? What did you do?" he asked. "I'm sure you didn't do anything bad. Don't worry, I'll help you, okay? I promise."

You closed your eyes and cried quietly to yourself; flat whimpers, breathy hiccups, tears that were too cold against your cheeks, and comically placed hiccups. Wukong raised his brows, amusement bubbling at the brim of his quirked-up lips upon realizing how ridiculous (just a little!) you appeared. 

"Wukong, I wanna go home, but... but I–I don't want to leave. I don't–gasp, I don't want to leave you." You closed your eyes to squeeze more tears out. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should... I should just stay. I should stay here with you."

"Now, what about your Pringles chip?"

He chuckled when you cried harder at the mention of a past conversation. Putting his hand flat on the ground, he pulled himself closer to you and leaned his torso forward. His free hand gingerly wiped at your face, being extra aware of his sharp nails. You kept crying, and he didn’t feel like he could say anything to make you feel better besides agreeing to your sudden change of decision, but he couldn’t.

"Don't be silly," he said. 

He would be happy to have you stay with him forever, but you didn't want that. You were doubting your decision now because of him because you didn't want to leave him. But Wukong understood more than anyone else that he wasn't the significant marker that made up who you were. 

Your home, your school, your hobbies, your friends, your family, your potential career choice—those things made you who you were. Besides not wanting to be the reason for you making a spur-of-the-moment choice, he also wanted you to be surrounded by what you knew. 

You wouldn't achieve anything great in his world, but you would in yours. You deserve that chance.

"You have to go home," he whispered. "You can finally eat a proper meal. I want you to eat well."

You sniffed. "But I'm never going to see you again.”

His hand paused and hovered around your face. The established consequence felt much more threatening when you said it out loud. He calmed his nerves, pressed his palm against your face, and then urged you to move toward him. You did. Releasing the cloak on your shoulder, you climbed onto his lap and lay on his chest, snuggling close for warmth.

“Yeah, I guess we won’t see each other again,” he muttered, looking ahead at the forest. He tilted his head, inhaling thoughtfully. “I’m okay with that.”

“You are?” Your brows furrowed.

“Not the way you’re thinking!” he exclaimed. “I just… we can’t change that. No matter how much we beg or–“ he looked down at you– “cry, that’s never gonna change. We live in different worlds. We probably weren’t even meant to know each other.”

You threw your head back on his arm and groaned lowly. “Why are you saying all of this now?”

“What? No! I just meant–“ He laughed and pushed your head up so you’d look at him. “You’re going home. You have to go home. If we can’t change the fact that we’ll never see each other again, I guess I’d rather you never forget me.”

“That…” You rolled your eyes. “That won’t be an issue for me, but you!”

“Me?”

“Yes, you! 可以不爱我 但绝不可以忘记我," you said. "You don't have to love me, but don't you dare forget me."

He cracked a smirk. "I do love you." 

"It's for the later future!" you gently exclaimed as your head went slack against his shoulder. “Please don’t get in trouble, Wukong. Don’t get hurt, don’t do anything bad. I want you to live.”

“Oh, I’ll live,” he mused. “Not sure about the other ones, though.”

You knew those were wishful thinking. If his journey went the way the novels detailed, you also knew he would be okay. You weren't sure why you said those things—perhaps you wished him a smooth journey, but that wasn't why people admired him so much. Looking at him, you figured it's okay for him to get hurt occasionally. Hell, he might even deserve it once in a while, but you didn't say that out loud. 

Wukong stared down at your suppressed grin, his hands soft around your limbs to remember their shape.

You didn't know that he would love you for far longer than you'd be here with him.

The Tanghulu almost fell apart when you bit into the strawberry on top. You caught the sugar pieces with your free hand. 

The line leading toward an opened temple continued to move. It was mainly occupied by tourists, at least you believed so. There was hardly any reason for a local to be at a tourist attraction on a regular weekday except for you. You had a reason. 

Taking a broad sweep across the crowded area, you arched your neck to look above the sea of heads at the food stands lined up in a row at the back. You chewed on the cold fruit as you debated what to eat next. There was a stall selling Liu Sha Baos, and next to it had an array of condiments set out for bagged Lou Meins. Humming in agreement, you decided to hit those stalls first after visiting the temple. 

Erlang Shen’s method worked. He had suggested going back home the same way you came, which would be through turbulence on an airplane. Creating a makeshift turbulence was easy for just about anybody there, and you remembered Wukong waving goodbye at you a second before the clouds, picked up by the wind, covered your sight. And then you were gone—you suddenly woke up in the emergency room, startling a nurse. 

Time barely passed when you were there. You slept through the rest of the flight after the turbulence, possibly causing inconvenience to the passengers seated by the window whenever they needed to use the restroom. They probably noticed something was wrong when you didn’t wake up even after the plane landed. They called an ambulance, and you had only just arrived at the hospital not too long ago. 

You didn’t turn back. You visited your family and stayed with them for however long you had previously planned. It was a great way to distract yourself from the out-of-world experience. But nothing quite pulled Wukong off your mind. 

You went hiking with your mother for the first time. The mountain reminded you of him. Heading to the supermarket and seeing the fruit section made you think of him. The way your grandpa talks reminded you of Bajie a little! And there was a newly released game about Wukong himself! You haven’t bought it yet. Maybe you would sooner or later. 

“Hey! Can you walk?”

You jumped at the voice behind you and instinctively bowed in response, an apology leaving you like a ghost. Seeing that you were next ahead to admire the statue, you put the Tanghulu on the paper plate and back inside the plastic bag it came from. As you walked ahead, you dusted your hands on your jacket and stopped at the center of the opened temple. Looking up, you bit your lower lip to avoid laughing.

The Sun Wukong statue looked nothing like Sun Wukong. 

But your memory made it look every bit like him. 

“I found you,” you said. “I’m sorry it took so long. I was out of the country with my family. But I went to many places and ate a lot of good food.”

He stared back at you, unmoving. Your eyes softened at the replacement in your head—you wondered what he was doing now. 

Subconsciously walking forward, your heart beating gently at your ear as you ignored the unnoticeable ‘Do Not Touch’ sign, you placed a hand on the statue’s feet and smiled. 

“I remember you,” you whispered. “I love you.”

“Hey! Please don’t touch the statue!”

You turned your head at the warning. A strong breeze blew toward the direction of the voice just as you turned, enough to knock the security storming at you to the ground. You slowly released your hand from the statue, mouth slightly agape as you watched passersby help the security stand up. Pulling at the strap of your bag, you glanced at Wukong one last time, the weird coincidence lingering in your mind, and then you went to apologize. 

Before you could walk out of earshot, you faintly heard a little boy speak to his mother behind you.

“Mom! Did you see that? The words on his staff lit up just now!”

[earthchica]

Try Again

terry richmond x black fem! reader

summary: you making your ex-boyfriend, Terry, jealous at a party.

warning: explicit smut (18+), jealousy, breakup to makeup, made-up characters, use of the n-word, spanking kink, choking, unprotected rough sex, dirty talking, creampie, slight daddy kink, foreplay, pet names (baby girl, baby)

note: That's right back with another Terry fic. Oh...lord, this man got me😍....anyway...I hope y'all enjoy it. There might be some errors.

-

Your relationship with Terry started lowkey chill and then became deeper than love.

However, as time passed, it became increasingly clear that you two wanted different things, ultimately resulting in a breakup.

It's been a long and agonizing three months, and instead of feeling better, the ache in your heart has only got worse.

Your yearning for him consumed you. You missed his smile, tender kisses, his cooking, and, oh, his warm hugs.

You missed everything about him and always wondered if it was the right decision to end the relationship.

Neither of you genuinely fought to save it; you just gave up too quickly.

You sat by the window, sighing, while drinking a warm cup of tea to comfort yourself.

The melancholy melody of music played softly in the background, adding to the reflective atmosphere.

Your phone vibrated, and you quickly reached for it to see who it was.

The caller was Aria; she and her boyfriend, Lance, are mutual friends between you and Terry.

She texted to express how much she missed you and extended an invitation to her house party.

You texted her that you also missed her and had to think about coming to the party.

She sent multiple texts in response, pleading and desperately urging you to come.

You agreed to attend and couldn't resist texting to ask whether Terry would be there.

Of course, she responded with a simple "Yes," confirming your question.

Then, you inquired if he was bringing someone else, and she replied, "Not sure."

You hoped he wasn't because the idea of him being with another girl was something you couldn't handle.

-

When you arrived at Aria and Lance's house, the vibrant party sounds greeted you.

The music reverberated through the air, and the energetic movements of the guests on the dance floor painted a vibe.

You looked at yourself in front of a small mirror near the entrance, fixing the sexy freakum dress that accentuated your curves and your silk-pressed hair that cascaded down your shoulders.

You paused to take a deep breath before stepping into the big living room.

As you walked by, a few men cast admiring glances in your direction.

Your eyes landed on Aria, and with a rush of excitement, you made a beeline for her, enveloping her in a warm, tight hug.

It had been far too long since you last saw her. After the breakup with Terry, you distanced yourself away from your friend.

"Oh my god {….......} you look so good." She gracefully twirls you around, evoking hearty giggles as you playfully showcase your figure.

"Thank you. You look so good, too, girl. And are you glowing? I see someone getting some good dick, huh?" You asked, observing her, which elicited a giggle from her.

"You know it, boo! That man knows how to put it on me. Ugh, I miss this...I miss you...come on, let's talk," Aria states, taking hold of your arm.

As you and Aria chatted comfortably on the couch, enjoying a great time, you noticed Terry conversing with Lance and a few other guys.

You were about to avert your gaze when a young, petite woman with a caramel-brown complexion, and long, luscious 4A curls approached Terry.

You tried your best to read her lips, she gracefully asked Terry if he wanted to dance, and his friends encouraged him to dance with her.

The surge of jealousy bubbled up within you, causing a knot in the pit of your stomach.

Despite taking a deep breath and turning back to Aria who was rambling about something.

You couldn't resist looking back at them and locked eyes with Terry. averted your gaze, but from the corner of your eye.

You noticed him striding towards you, and a sense of panic grew.

Aria was quick to sense your unease. "You good, sis?" she asked, and you nodded.

You tried to ignore his approach, but you heard his sexy, deep voice, and you almost lost.

"Hey," he greeted with his charming smile. You couldn't fathom why he had abandoned the girl on the dance floor to approach you.

You just gave him a nod.

Aria left, giving you and Terry some privacy to talk, and went to Lance.

Terry's imposing figure loomed larger than you remembered, his taut muscles accentuated by the snug fit of his shirt.

Feeling uneasy and irritated, you averted your gaze, fixating on your hands instead of meeting his eyes.

"You ain't gonna say hi to me?" Terry leaned in with a mischievous grin, his teasing tone lacing the air as he settled next to you on the couch.

"Why should I?" you replied, looking everywhere but him. His pretty grayish-blue eyes were unwavering and completely focused on you.

He was wondering what was swirling around in that pretty little head of yours.

"What?" you asked, eyes finally meeting his with confusion and curiosity.

A smirk graced his lips before he began to speak.

"You look gorgeous," he said, his words dripping with insincerity, igniting anger within you.

How dare he come over here looking fine as hell, complimenting you, and shit.

When he was just dancing with another bitch?

"Terry, don’t. Why are you over here? Where's your little girlfriend?" you asked with slight irritation and bitterness.

Terry smirked again, about to say something, but his sentence was abruptly halted by the sudden approach of a tall, strikingly handsome, dark-skinned man.

"Hey," He greeted, his warm brown eyes locking onto yours as he introduced himself. 

"I’m Jackson. Sorry...to interrupt...are you two together?" he asked, his eyes filled with hope, silently pleading for my response to be a no.

You noticed Terry's annoyance with Jackson’s presence and couldn't help but devise a mischievous plan in your mind.

You responded, "No," with a playful smile before locking eyes with Terry, who wore a disapproving frown.

Jackson nodded with a charming grin and asked if you wanted to dance.

"I'd love to, Jackson," you replied with a smile, intertwining your fingers with his and strolling gracefully toward the dance floor.

You couldn't help but feel Terry's burning gaze boring into the back of your head.

The next song starts to play—it was Beyonce. Jackson pulls you close to him. Wrap your arms around his neck as you dance against each other, hips moving in sync.

As the music played loud in the background, Jackson leaned in and whispered a flirtatious remark into your ear.

You turned in Jackson's strong embrace, feeling the warmth of his body as your ass pressed firmly against his crotch.

You slung one arm around his neck, pulling him closer to you. Jackson's lips delicately grazed against your dark-brown skin.

You could tell that Terry noticed and was unable to handle that. He abruptly stood up, causing a few nearby to startle.

Terry strode purposefully toward the two of you, and the crowd instinctively parted as they saw the intense, angry expression etched on his face.

The tension was palpable as he came to a halt in front of both of you, emitting a low, menacing snarl as a warning to back off. Jackson swiftly positioned himself in front of you.

As he stood there, nearly matching Terry's height, the atmosphere grew tense, and it was unsettling to witness the fight between the two formidable men.

"Let's go," Terry says to you, reaching out to grab your arm, but Jackson intervenes and pushes him away before he can.

"Hold on, bruh," Jackson exclaimed, his voice irritated.

"She doesn't have to go anywhere with you. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Terry clenched his fists, ready to swing on bra. You quickly stepped between them to prevent the situation from escalating.

"Stop, let's go, Terry. Jackson...thank you for the dance," you said, gently guiding Terry into a secluded room.

-

Terry was pacing back and forth, struggling to calm down. You tried to capture his attention by repeatedly calling his name, but he ignored you.

"What the fuck is your problem?" you asked, annoyance evident in your tone. He immediately halted his pacing and fixed his gaze on you.

"What is my problem? No, what the fuck is your problem? Huh," Terry asked with his deep voice.

"Dancing with that muthafucka when I'm sitting right in front of you." He yelled, frustratingly pointing.

"First of all...The last time I checked, I was single and could dance with whoever the fuck. And second of all, why do you even fucking care, huh? Weren't you dancing with another bitch?" You pressed, crossing your arms tightly in front of your chest.

"I barely dance with the fucking girl, you went out of your way to grind and let the nigga kiss you on and shit just to get a reaction out of me."

You couldn't help but feel a pang of defeat, realizing he had figured you out. You shouldn't be surprised with his ex-marine ass.

"You know what...fuck you. I'm out of here, " You were about to walk away, but Terry firmly grasped your arm to prevent you from leaving.

"Nah...you ain't fucking running like you always do. We're going to talk," Terry's voice echoed through the room.

"There's nothing to talk about, Terry. Now let me go," You yelled, straining to break free from his grasp, but his strength was overpowering.

"Don't you get it? I can't; not again," He stated intensely, causing you to stop comprehending his intended message abruptly.

"I tried to move on, I tried to get you out of my fucking head, baby girl....but..." He began but paused to gather his thoughts.

"But what? Terry," you said, shifting your gaze back and forth between his eyes, feeling his tight grip on your arm gradually loosen.

"I still love you, and I want you back." Terry's eyes bore into yours, a complex blend of love and frustration evident in his gaze. You pressed your lips against his lips without a word.

"I still love you too, Terry. I miss you so damn much. I'm sorry" You said, pulling away from the intense, passionate kiss.

"I miss you too, baby. Let's get out of here...so we can properly talk." He said, taking your hand gently and guiding you out of the room.

The warmth of his touch sends a comforting sensation through your body.

You exchanged byes with Aria and Lance, noticing their happy, knowing look as you both left the party.

-

As you both arrived at his place, the atmosphere was charged with sexual tension.

You two were supposed to talk, but the words faded into the background as the air crackled with the electricity of desire, and want.

You both were kissing, tongues dancing with each other while practically ripping each other's clothes off.

Terry's hold was firm as he lifted you to the edge of the bed. His body shifts between your legs.

He tilts his head to kiss you once more, his caress exuding a bit of roughness and fervor.

Terry moves to begin kissing your neck while slowly grasping your plump breasts and squeezing them.

You loved the way his thickness was touching the inner of your thigh.

Terry flipped you swiftly on your stomach to get a better view of your ass. You gasped, felt the sting of a sudden slap to your ass.

You turned your head to look at him, and his face lit up with a wide, mischievous grin.

"You thought you were off the hook, huh?" He asked, waiting for an answer.

You were on the verge of speaking, but all that came out was a groan as he landed another stinging slap to your ass.

"Daddy!" You whined, looking back at him.

"No...I gotta give you a little punishment after that little stunt," He says, sliding the tip of his dick up and down the wet slit of your pussy to tease you.

"Daddy, please. I'm sorry it will never happen again...I promise," you cried desperately.

"You bet your ass it ain't. Cause all kill a muthafucka." He says, stopping for a second before giving you a few stinging slaps on your ass.

"You're mine, baby! No one else, you got that?" His deep, husky voice reverberated as he leaned in and softly whispered into your ear.

"I'm yours, Daddy. I'm all yours. Please," You agreed, looking into his eyes.

He smiled before kissing you and roughly thrusting his dick inside of you.

You both shared a moan; he let go of your neck to grab at your hips while you held onto the sheets for dear life while he began with a few slow thrusted.

Terry chucked at your speechless whines, practically begging him to go faster.

"Come on, baby girl. Use your words for me.” his deep voice teases as his hips continue their slow thrusts.

"Faster, please. N-Need you to go faster, Need you to fuck me like you miss this pussy," You huffed out the words finally.

You suddenly felt the touch of his hand on your back to arch a little before his thrust got quicker.

"I do miss this pussy, this sweet tight pussy. Like this, baby girl?" He asked in his deep, rumbling voice.

"Yes, daddy. Just like that…oh fuck" you nodded with a moan as the slapping sounds of skin on skin filled the room.

Fuck, you missed this; you missed his delicious dick, missed feeling every inch of his dick hitting your sweet spot.

Terry slapped your ass a few times before grabbing a hand full of it to thrust in a slight angle.

You look back at him with deep pleasure expressed on your face as you grasp his wrist to thrust into him, which he always used to like a lot.

"Fuck, baby. You feel so good. Swear this sweet pussy was only made for me." He grunts, giving your ass another slap before getting on the bed in the spoon position, with you slightly facing him.

Terry kisses you, continuing to thrust hard into you while holding your neck.

You cried muffledly into the kiss, feeling him slap your cunt before rubbing circles over your clit.

His thrusts grow sloppier, losing himself to the great pleasure he’s feeling.

Terry missed you, your eyes, your smile, and the intimate moment you two had.

"I fucking love you, girl. Gonna fill up this pretty pussy...would you like that, baby" He asked, looking into your eyes intensely.

"Yes...I want it; I want to feel it all, Daddy. Fill me up," you moaned with a nod.

Terry picked up the paces again, balls hit your cunt hard, which ultimately sends you over the edge.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck" You cried, orgasming so hard. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head, climax rushed over your body with a jolt.

"Shhh...I got you, baby," He says, pulling out for a second to move you to ride him, thrusting back inside to catch his own release.

You managed to calm down a bit from your high and assist Terry in getting his release.

You bite your lip, matching the rhythm of his thrust. Your pussy slightly gripped him tightly like a glove, which drove him crazy.

"Fuck...baby girl...that's it....help your daddy....just like that," Terry grunts, eyes rolling in the back of his head while gripping your waist for dear life.

"Mmm...I'm the only one that makes you feel like this, right, Daddy" You asked, leveling yourself on his chest as you bounce on his dick faster.

"Fuck...yes baby....the only one...you're so good to me...fuck, I'm gonna...." He grunts, feeling him fill you up with the hot spurts of his cum.

His breath jerks and lifts you a little to pull out and watch his cum drip from your pussy.

"Didn't I tell you I was gonna fill you up, baby?" he asked weary, smugly, and you nodded in response.

After Terry cleaned you up, you were lying beside each other, staring into each other's eyes.

"Hey, I know we have a lot of shit to figure out, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work again," he said, caressing your face.

A warm smile spreads across your face; you love this man with every fiber of your being.

His ability to transition from a lustfully filthy tone to an irresistibly tender, gentle tone was incredible.

"Me too, Terry," you said, and he smiled, pulling you into a kiss filled with hope and love.

[chlerc]

soft spot ; lando norris

— summary; being his academic rival doesn’t justify why he’s got a soft spot for you, but he does. and he finds himself giving you everything you wanted and if he could.

pairing — academic-rival-lando norris! x f. reader ( third person story )

word count — 1361.

content — he’s sharing his study notes with you because he wants you to do as well as he does though he’s sure you don’t need his notes because you’re really smart, like smarter than him. got him wrapped around your finger too!!!

NAVIGATION + author’s note: surprise surprise, we got educated lando norris can you believe it?? i'm joking!! i just thought this would be a cute thing to write about, old situationship-ish-kinda inspired lolol

song recs for this fic — soft spot.

Lando sat at his usual spot in the library, the steady hum of muted conversation floating through the air as he lazily twirled his pen, his textbook sprawled open before him. He scribbled half-hearted notes on the margins, his mind far from the equations in front of him. Across from him, she sat with an air of quiet determination, eyes focused, every gesture deliberate as she effortlessly worked through the problem set. There was a certain grace in the way she moved, her concentration almost tangible, and he couldn’t resist the urge to break the silence.

“You’re staring,” she murmured, her voice low but tinged with amusement, though her eyes remained fixed on her work. The scratch of her pen was soft, almost rhythmic, as if even her distraction couldn’t break her focus.

He leaned back, a smug grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Just wondering how many hours you'll spend on that before you realise I’m still ahead of you in class.” Her gaze flicked upward then, sharp and challenging, a subtle gleam in her eyes. “In your dreams, Norris. I’m just letting you think you’re ahead, so you don’t feel too bad when I crush you in finals.”

Lando’s smirk deepened, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hand. “Is that right? Because, if I remember correctly, I outscored you on the last mock exam.”

“By half a point,” she retorted smoothly, the gleam of competition still in her eyes, though a soft smile tugged at her lips. “And I was sleep-deprived.”

“Oh, of course,” he said, his voice laced with teasing. “Always an excuse with you.”

She arched an eyebrow, leaning back slightly as if conceding, though her expression told him otherwise. “Not an excuse — just facts. You should get used to it, because next time, you won’t even come close.”

He rolled his eyes dramatically, but beneath the playful façade, there was something else. He enjoyed these moments far more than he’d ever admit — the way they pushed each other, a constant dance between rivalry and something more tender, something unspoken. The tension between them hummed with an energy that was undeniable, though he’d convinced himself it was merely competition. Yet, no one else made him feel quite like she did.

And after every other gruelling lecture, she would pull him along on yet another one of her spontaneous convenience store runs. He trailed a step behind her, hands shoved deep into his pockets, his expression one of mock reluctance.

“Do you really need something this time, or are you just dragging me out for the fun of it?” Lando’s voice was laced with faux exasperation, though his gaze softened as it lingered on her.

She glanced back at him over her shoulder, a knowing grin lighting up her face. “I like the company. Besides, I know you don’t mind.” His lips quirked into a smile he tried to hide. “I definitely mind,” he muttered, though his tone held no real conviction, and they both knew it.

“Yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that,” she teased, her laughter ringing out softly as she reached for a snack on the shelf, tossing it into the basket. Her movements were effortless, as if these small, mundane moments were enough to make her day brighter. “You should be grateful I’m keeping you out of trouble. What would you even do without me?”

Lando leaned against the shelf, watching her with a smirk. “Probably live a quiet life. Go home, play video games in peace. Not have to deal with your very demanding schedule.” She laughed, a light sound that danced in the air between them. Nudging him with her shoulder, she shook her head. “Come on, you love it.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he replied, though the way his eyes lingered on her told a different story.

Later, on a night he would’ve sworn he’d never be caught in — under the dim lights of a club, with music vibrating through the walls — Lando found himself in his least favourite environment. The bass thrummed through the floor, and the crowd pulsed around him, but she was there, pulling him onto the dance floor with that irresistible smile.

“You really don’t dance, do you?” she teased, her voice barely audible over the music as she tugged him closer, her touch light but insistent. “I told you, I’m not a fan of this whole scene,” he muttered, his feet shuffling awkwardly, though his gaze never left her.

“And yet, here you are. For me,” she said, her smile widening as their bodies moved in sync, her laughter soft and sweet against the chaos of the music. He shook his head, feigning exasperation. “Only because you begged.”

“Begged?” Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she spun around, catching his gaze again. “Please, Norris, I didn’t beg. I knew you’d come.”

“And why’s that?” He has an eyebrow cocked up, smirk on his lips with his arms crossed. “Because you can’t say no to me.” Her voice was light, teasing, but the truth in her words hung between them, undeniable. He sighed, his hand slipping to rest on her waist, pulling her closer. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I know,” she replied, her voice dropping just slightly, her eyes locking onto his. “And you secretly love it.” Lando chuckled softly, though there was no denying the way his heart stuttered in his chest at her touch. “Yeah, okay. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

But even as he said it, there was something deeper. He didn’t want to admit how much she got under his skin, how much she’d already wrapped him around her finger. She was his academic rival, the one who always challenged him, pushed him — but she was also the only one who made him feel like this, the only one who could shift his world so effortlessly.

And yet, there were nights when his world felt like it was tipping too far. His workload piled up, deadlines looming, and he found himself cancelling their study plans more often than not. But one evening, after cancelling yet another one, he showed up to her seminar unannounced, determined to make up for lost time.

She spotted him as soon as the seminar ended, her brows knitting together in confusion as she walked over to him. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you have, like, a ton of work?” He shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Yeah, but I figured I’d spend time with you anyway.”

Her stern expression softened into something more amused. “You don’t have to come to my classes to prove a point, you know,” her hand running through his dirty brown strands. “I know.” He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I just… missed you.”

The teasing look in her eyes faltered for a second, replaced by something more tender, something unspoken between them. “Well, I missed you too, you idiot. But don’t think this gets you out of cancelling our last three study dates.” He laughed, pulling her into a gentle hug. “Fair enough. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You’d better,” she replied, her face pressed against his chest, and for the first time in days, the weight on his shoulders felt just a little lighter. “Here’s the notes I collated from our recent classes.” He tosses her his notebook, decorated with sketches of different cars and though he never said it, sharing his notes with her was just a quiet way of showing her he cared. Because he had a soft spot for her.

But late at night, when the world fell quiet, Lando often found himself thinking of her, unable to sleep. She had become the constant in his life, the one who made him feel things he never thought possible. He didn’t want to fall in love — not really — but there she was, challenging everything he thought he knew. She didn’t ask for anything, but somehow, he found himself wanting to give her everything. 

And though he fought it, though he tried to convince himself that it was just rivalry, just competition — deep down, he knew. He was already hers.

[lesbikaiser]

lkahgilf heyyyy, was wondering if you could write smth kinda freaky with shidou and a trans guy reader ? its ok if not !! praise kink would be nice :) but also feel free to like go wild with it idk i just need more trans rep in bllk fics

it's boypussy thursday are you boypussying 🫵🏻

im still recovering from my last shidou post so im sorry if this is too short :( also i took so long to post it omg but i hope you like it just as much as ive enjoyed writing ><

first time im giving a pussy pronouns and it's he/him im so happy omg!

IN MY HEAD shidou would be delighted if he ever found out about the term 'boypussy' and would overuse it and be like dead serious about it

fem aligned people please dni >< transboys and nbs you're welcome!

it's late. late as in a few hours past midnight late. the tiny rocks on the sidewalk you find yourself kneeling on slightly hurt your covered knees, the jeans of your pants doing little to protect your skin from the harsh ground – however, you can't really mind it when the feeling of shidou's dick stretching your throat fills up your senses.

the street is deserted, not a single soul there besides you and your boyfriend and you're grateful for that, because he's shamelessly moaning the loudest he can, the sounds echoing through the darkness and his skin glowing under the poor lighting the lampposts provide.

there are tears pooling in your eyes as you try to breathe through your nose, spit running down your chin and staining your loose shirt when he starts to move his hips, one of his hands resting on your nape as the other digs on your shoulder blade to keep you right where you're.

"such a dirty boy, ain't ya?" he teases, though you know when coming from him, it's most likely to be a praise. "sucking my dick out here, where anyone could see."

you can't stop a whimper from vibrating through his shaft, your tongue rubbing against his slit to savor the taste of his pre-cum, your eyes trained on his not missing when his lips part slightly and he throws his head back, yet another needy moan gracing your ears. you can see the beads of sweat dripping down his neck and disappearing on his collar, he looks so hot like this it makes your inner thighs slippery with arousal, your heavy jeans gluing to them as well as your underwear to your core.

your hands hold onto his toned thighs as he keeps face-fucking you, barely taking his dick out of your mouth before thrusting back, hitting the back of your throat and forcing you to swallow more and more of him, gagging sounds strangled in your chest as you let him use you as he pleases. you know he's close, the feeling of his pulsating veins rubbing against your tongue and the inside of your cheeks giving it away, his thrusts growing more erratic and his pace getting lazy, his teeth sinking on his lower lip when he feels you sucking harder, eager to have his cum filling your mouth.

"–ah, doing so well f'me, such a pretty fuckin' boy with his mouth full of my cock, gonna cum so hard for you– take it like a good boy, yeah?" he's babbling at this point, a whine getting caught on his chest when he feels you cupping his heavy balls, massaging them softly and urging him to come, and so he does.

the hand on your nape keeps you there when he shoves his pelvis onto your face, pubes touching your nose as long, thick ropes of cum spill from his slit, you can barely taste it as you try to swallow everything, some inevitably leaking from the corner of your lips. when he pulls away, you're a mess, spit and cum running down your chin, cheeks stained by dried tears and swollen lips slightly parted as you pant, coughing a little and wincing at the soreness of your throat, your voice surely raspy.

shidou is panting almost as much as you, thumb coming to wipe the fluids off your chin only to shove it into your mouth, your lips wrapping so prettily around his finger it makes his dick twitches, his free hand grabbing your arm to pull you up. there's a string of saliva connecting his thumb to your shiny, swollen lips when he pulls it out, though not for too long before he's fumbling with the button on your pants to push them down your legs, your hands immediately coming to grab his as you squeal his name; he must've gone insane.

however, your efforts do nothing to stop him, he's still shoving one finger inside your boxers and running it along your soaked folds, whistling when he feels you drooling onto his palm.

"c'mon, im sure this boypussy of yours can't wait to have my dick fucking him here on the outside."

[weirdkpopgirl]

Drunk Kisses | Mark Imagine #8

Title: Drunk Kisses

Genre: College AU, friends to lovers

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drinking, making out

Word Count: ~2.6k

Author's Note: I am very sorry for how long it's been since I've last posted something. Lately, I've just been very uninspired to the point that I think my career of writing fanfic is coming to an end. Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy this. I'm sorry if it's not that good. Thank you for reading ^ ^

°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°∞°•°♪°∞°

Anyone who knew you even a little was well aware that you were not a party person. You were the type of college student who attended all your classes, got all your homework done before the due date, and spent your weekends stowed away in a library or your dorm room. 

In your world, going to college parties was strictly off-limits. Frankly, you’ve done a good job of avoiding them your entire freshman year. A few of your friends insisted that you were missing out on fun. But the idea of loud music, sweaty crowds, and the smell of spilled beer didn’t sound like much fun to you.

But that all changed your sophomore year when your roommate, Jooyoung, finally convinced you to come to a homecoming party. She knew how much you hated any sort of social event, and respected your wishes. Now that you were in your second year, she was a little less forgiving.

“Come on, (Y/n). It’s just one party. You can’t just spend all your time in our dorm!” Jooyoung whined, half-dressed in her outfit for the night.

Glancing up from your laptop, you sighed. “You know I hate parties.”

Unfazed by your weak excuse, Jooyoung rummaged through her closet in search of something for you to wear. She didn’t even bother to look through yours, knowing you didn’t own anything remotely party-appropriate.

“You’re coming, and you’re going to look cute,” Jooyoung insisted. “Just give it a chance! You might even have fun for once.”

You opened your mouth to argue that you had plenty of fun without frat parties being involved. But before you could say anything, Jooyoung tossed a sleek black dress on your bed. It was a simple yet elegant dress, with thin straps and a figure-hugging silhouette. 

 “Here put this on. Trust me, you’ll look amazing,” she urged, flashing you a grin. 

Amazing wasn’t the word you’d choose when you reluctantly got up from your desk and changed into the dress. But before you could back out, Jooyoung was dragging you out of the dorms. As soon as you stepped outside with her, you regretted agreeing. You could already hear the sound of thumping music from blocks away, causing your stomach to knot as you approached the house.

It was even worse than you imagined once you got inside. The air smelled like alcohol and sweat, the bass from the music rattled your ribs, and people were packed together tightly, shouting over the noise.

Jooyoung’s eyes widened when she recognized someone she knew in the crowd. “I’ll be back!” she yelled over the music.

“Wait—” you began to protest, but she had already vanished into the sea of people.

Swallowing hard, you weaved through the crowd to follow after her. Just as you were about to give up hope, you felt a tap on the shoulder. Turning around, you were met with a familiar face. Lee Donghyuck. 

“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t the party type,” the boy teased, clearly surprised to see you in this type of setting.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, feeling a bit self-conscious. “I’m not. Jooyoung made me come.”

“Hm, I see,” Donghyuck nodded with a smirk. “Want a drink?”

You eyed the plastic red cup he offered, raising an eyebrow. “You know I’m not twenty-one yet, right?”

“Yeah, like that’s ever stopped anyone from drinking underage,” he chuckled.

Wanting to stick with your rules, you shook your head. “I’m not drinking, Donghyuck.”

“Why not? You scared?” Donghyuck cocked his head, knowing exactly how to push your buttons.

Your stomach twisted, more out of pride than anything else— because you weren’t scared. You just didn’t want to end up like the sloppy drunk partygoers who got absolutely wasted. But Donghyuck’s taunting words and the smirk at you struck a nerve, and something inside you snapped.

With a determined expression, you snatched the cup out of his hand. “I’m not scared,” you said, before downing the drink in one go. 

The burn of the alcohol burned your throat immediately, causing you to pull away in a grimace. Donghyuck’s eyes widened in surprise, clearly not expecting you to go through with it.

“That’s the spirit!” he laughed, slinging an arm around you. “Come on, let’s get you another shot.”

One shot turned into two, then three. You weren’t sure when you lost count, but the edges of the room soon started to blur, and the music didn’t sound so painfully loud anymore. Your body felt light, and everything seemed warmer. Fuzzier. You stumbled through the crowd in search of Jooyoung but instead bumped into someone else.

“(Y/n)?” The sound of his voice instantly made your heart stop for a second. 

It was Mark Lee, a junior you knew from InterVarsity. He was someone you’ve admired from afar for quite some time now. The kind of guy everyone liked, always smiling and joking around with his friends. You’ve been crushing on Mark since last year when you saw him perform on the worship team. But you hadn’t dared to pursue anything beyond friendship.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said approaching you, his words slightly slurred.

He hadn't had too much to drink, having come as the designated driver for his friends. But it was tough to resist joining in with all the pressure around him.

“I didn’t expect to be here either,” you replied with a giggle, feeling more at ease than usual.

Mark’s expression shifted to slight concern as he noticed your flushed cheeks. “Are you…?”

“Donghyuck may have given me a few drinks,” you explained, swaying slightly on your feet.

At the mention of your mischievous friend’s name, Mark let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head.

“Of course he did,” he muttered under his breath. “Come on, let’s go outside.”

He grabbed your hand gently, and the contact sent a jolt through you. With his guidance, the two of you pushed through the crowd together, stepping out onto the porch. The cool air outside felt wonderful compared to the stuffy house you were just in. You smiled, closing your eyes and leaning against the railing.

“You okay?” Mark asked, a hint of concern in his voice as he contemplated whether he should get you some water.

You opened your eyes to look at him, suddenly feeling bolder. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the fact that you two were alone in a quiet space. You’ve never been this close to him before. But now that you were, you could see all the features of his that you admired. His dark messy hair, the way his lips curled into a soft smile, the way his eyes glinted under the dim porch light.

“You have really pretty eyes, you know that?” you blurted without thinking.

He blinked, taken aback by your compliment. “Uh…thanks?”

“No, like they’re so pretty,” you continued, stepping closer to brush your fingers over his cheek. “I could get lost in them.”

His eyes widened at your touch, but he didn’t take your hand away. “Is that so?” he asked, a slow smile spreading across his face.

By now, you heart was pounding erratically in your chest. But before your brain could override your desires, your hands found their way to his shoulders and pulled him down toward you. Mark was frozen when your lips met his, as even the tipsy version of him hadn’t anticipated this boldness from you. But once he processed that you were kissing him, a switch went off in his brain and something shifted.

Mark’s hands found your waist, pulling you closer as the passion seeped into the kiss. His lips were warm and firm against yours, and the taste of alcohol lingered between you. Your fingers quickly became tangled in his hair, and you pressed yourself against him, feeling the heat of his body through his shirt. Mark groaned softly into your mouth, his hands sliding up your back, one hand cupping the back of your neck as he tilted his head to kiss you more deeply.

Your lips moved like a dance, slow and rhythmic, but growing faster with each passing second. At some point, you felt the soft brush of his tongue against your lower lip, and you opened your mouth for him. The kiss was intoxicating, and the most exhilarating sensation you had ever experienced. You could feel his breath mixing with yours, your lips only parting for brief seconds before crashing back together, more urgently each time.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” Mark whispered against your mouth when the two of you finally pulled away for good. 

Your hand remained on his neck as you gazed into his eyes. Even in your drunken state, you could see the intensity in them. “Me too,” you said softly, resting your forehead against his.

The rest of the night was a complete blur to you. You woke up in bed the next morning with a splitting headache, and the sunlight streaming through the window shades only made it worse. As someone who had never had a hangover before, you had never felt so miserable.

Groaning, you lay back in bed and tried to recall what happened last night. You vaguely remembered the party, and Jooyoung running off, then Donghyuck pouring shots for you. Your stomach twisted at the thought. Why did I let him talk me into drinking?

Rolling over, you grabbed your phone from your nightstand, trying to ignore the fact that it felt like someone was pounding your head with a hammer. The screen instantly lit up with a few notifications, mostly emails. But one in particular made your heart stop.

Mark: Hey, how are you feeling? You okay?

Your breath hitched as you read the text over and over again to make sure you weren’t dreaming. Slowly, the memories from last night began flooding back, and a rush of panic accompanied them.

“Oh my gosh,” you muttered under your breath.

The two of you kissed last night. It wasn’t just one kiss either. It was so many times that it was almost neverending. Clasping a hand over your mouth in mortification, the realization hit you. You made out with Mark Lee, the guy you’ve barely been able to hold a conversation without stuttering since the day you’ve met him. This couldn’t be real.

You sat up quickly, causing your head to throb even more. Knowing you couldn’t just leave Mark hanging, you typed a response with wobbly fingers.

You: I think I’m okay, thanks. You?

As you were mentally kicking yourself over and over, your phone buzzed again. Sighing to yourself, you picked up the device again to see what he said.

Mark: I’m good, don’t worry. Want to grab some coffee?

         I can bring you some aspirin if you need it :)

A small laugh escaped you at his kind offer, as you replied with a simple “Sure.” Even though a part of you was nervous, you knew that you needed to talk to him. Nibbling on your lower lip, you anxiously waited for him to reply. Your heart jumped when he responded so fast.

Mark: Great! Meet me outside in 10?

With a sigh, you got up from bed. Your gaze flickered to the empty bed across from you— Jooyoung wasn’t there. You wondered if she came home at all last night. But knowing her, she couldn’t have gotten into too much trouble.

Pulling yourself together, you washed up in the bathroom across the hall. Once you returned to your room, you slipped on some jeans and the first sweater you could find. Anxiety churned in your stomach as you walked outside.

Mark was already waiting outside your residence hall, his hands shoved his pockets as his shoes tapped rhythmically against the pavement. His face lit up with a smile when he spotted you, somehow making you even more nervous. He greeted you with a soft wave which you returned with a small smile.

“Hey, you sure you’re okay?” he asked, noticing you squinting against the sunlight.

You gave him a light nod. “Aside from feeling like someone is pounding a hammer in my head, yeah I’m good.”

He chuckled in response, and a brief silence followed. Swallowing hard, you cleared your throat.

“Um…about last night, you began, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I-I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to get so drunk, and I don’t usually act like that. I’m sorry if I made things awkward or—”

Mark’s expression softened as he stepped closer, gently placing his hands on your shoulders to steady you, cutting off your rambling. “It’s okay, (Y/n),” he reassured.

You blinked, surprised. “It is?”

He nodded, his gaze locked on yours. “Yeah. I’m not gonna lie, I was surprised to see you at that party, but…I don’t regret anything that happened last night.”

His words made your heart skip a beat. A part of you had worried that Mark only kissed you because of the alcohol, but from the look in his eyes, it didn’t seem like just a hazy memory to him.

“Did you…regret it?” Mark then asked, his eyes searching yours with a hint of uncertainty. He was pretty sure that his feelings for you were mutual. But he wanted to be sure that it wasn’t just the alcohol talking last night.

You hesitated for a moment before answering. “If I’m being honest, no, I don’t regret it. I just wish it didn’t take my getting drunk to finally express how I felt about you.”

Mark’s shoulders relaxed slightly at this, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“I’m so glad to hear that…because I’ve felt the same way for awhile now,” he paused, softening his voice. “I just wasn’t sure if you liked me back.”

Your breath caught in your throat as his words sank in. “Wow…I had no idea. I mean, I’ve liked you for so long, but I was always too nervous to say anything.”

You watched his smile grow wider and his eyes brighten up. His expression was a mixture of relief and anticipation.

“Well, now that’s all out of the way,” he said, slowly taking your hand. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You felt your cheeks flush again, but this time, it wasn’t from embarrassment—it was from the sudden rush of hope that maybe, just maybe, things between you two were finally falling into place.

“I…I’d really like that,” you breathed, your voice trembling with excitement and disbelief.

Mark’s grin grew wider, and he squeezed your hand gently. “Good,” he said, his tone full of warmth and sincerity. Then, with a playful smirk, he added, “So, uh… can I kiss you again?”

Your stomach fluttered. This time, you weren’t drunk. This time, you were fully aware of what she was doing, and the idea of kissing him—sober—made her feel nervous in a different way. But you smiled, stepping closer until you were right in front of him. When you gave him the yes, Mark’s lips were on yours again. 

His lips were warm, and they moved gently against yours, sweet and careful. You felt your heart race as you kissed him back, your hands resting lightly on his chest. His thumb stroked your cheek as your lips pressed together, and this time, you could feel everything—the softness of his lips, the way his breath mingled with yours, the way his heart beat steadily under your palms.

When you finally pulled apart, the both of you were smiling, your foreheads resting against each other like the night before. Although you still weren’t a party person, your dislike for them lessened just a bit now.

°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°∞°•°♪°∞°

previous masterlist -> current masterlist

[trivialbob]

As I mentioned recently, I have been going downtown to the office a few times a week to work. I'm not required to, but I miss downtown (or at least what I remember it used to be like*) and I like riding my bike to get there.

You know how easy it is to flip off or scream at another driver? Most people don't behave like that to another shopper who is in the way in a grocery store aisle. Face to face changes how people interact with each other. Inside a locked car people are fearless, easily and loudly explaining to a fellow motorist how stupid they are.

I've noticed this phenomena at work. There's a woman I recently met in person for the first time. For no valid reason, other than her voice and mannerisms annoy me, I've disliked her immensly.

When I finally got a chance to speak in person with her, it was clear she's super nice. She gladly helped me with something that saved me a lot of time. I'm relieved I never yelled at or flipped her off in a video phone call.

There are two other people I have been around in the office. Neither is familiar to me; we don't work in the same divisions. I don't know their names, but they both sit near me.

One is quiet. Except for when he drinks out of his insulated metal water bottle. He shakes and twirls it, making the ice cubes clang against the side. It's horrible. I've silently harbored ill feelings about this man.

Then one day he overheard me talking to a close coworker about something in our building. He politely added to our conversation some useful information. Suddenly he wasn't this awful person, because I finally chatted with him. The guy is actually nice. The water bottle noise is still annoying, but I lost the urge to dent his head with that bottle.

The other guy who sits by me, well I haven't found a reason to talk to him yet. Every morning he walks in holding a Clorox wipe in each hand. Every surface of the desk gets wiped before he sits down. The rest of the day he will touch other surfaces with bare hands, even the handle to the rest room door. If he's a germaphobe he's not good at being one.

For breakfast this guy eats some slurry out of a Mason jar at his desk. Even now I can hear the metal spoon scraping against the inside of the clear glass jar as he tries to get every last drop of whatever is in there. I don't know what he's eating but I assume it would make me barf. When the jar is empty he sets it aside then lets out a small belch every time I am there. When I notice he's almost finished I walk away, knowing the little belch is coming.

I really need to say hi and introduce myself to him, before I'm fired for assaulting a fellow employee.

[julietsbb]

These days I've wanted to send an ask about the latest updates because I've had a lot of rambles in my mind, so here I go as I reread some parts.

First of all, I need to mention my stupidity to you -- I'm rereading the part where they invent the 1-10 scale of numbing. When I read the last update of Pond asking for an 8, I forgot that the scale went "1 for the least sensation, 10 for the most sensation" and my line of thinking went "ah, an 8 means he wants Phuwin to breathe 8 times over his skin so it's properly numbed" so I believed that my man Pond wanted the least sensation experience after having fingers in his mouth. Still, NO, it was THE OPPOSITE, he wants PAIN and I also want PAIN for him. djafhd now I'm thinking 'wtf was in your mind, what was your logic'.

Yeah. MOVING ON.

I've had this question in my mind for a while, so I will ask you finally. I tend to overthink/over analyse, and so I'm really intrigued about what's vamp!Phuwin's mentality when it comes to Pond, and his crush on him. His thought process about Pond being his. The latest updates (will never forget the finger-in-mouth scene okay, never) increased this curiosity.

I wonder if them being actors helps with his feelings, or it actually impedes the process. I wonder if having Pond as 'his', as in, his partner, his love in two series kind of holds off the realization that he'd want Pond as 'his' in real life as well, because he is good at compartmentalizing that sort of thing. Of separating the intimacy he has with Pond onscreen, and for their fans.

Or if it's actually quite the opposite, and it's such a recurring thing - Pond being his in so many ways, that he doesn't even need any sort of realization. And more like - it's already happening. He has experience with it, so it doesn't hit him like a slap.

I wonder this because seeing how their intimacy develops is so interesting. I also wonder it because of Phuwin's last talk to his mom, and how he felt robbed 'of Pond', so to speak, and it was just so interesting to read that. Because I felt like... he was having these feelings, and they were as difficult as they were inevitable. Does that make sense? HE's trying to make sense of them, but he's also not denying them: "...he knows it's more than just feeding".

So is it because he's used to it from the other manners in which he has Pond? Or is it something else? They had so many moments that can be catalogued as glaringly obvious, romantic in nature, and yet there are times where they hit Phuwin hard, and other times where he smooths into them like he's been doing it for years. It's just interesting, you know? What can you give me about this?

The vampire forum were such an interesting detail, dear! Would love to know more about that. I'm a sucker for invented helping sites/forums, especially in fantasies.

"The urge to touch him is new, Phuwin knows, because he didn’t used to feel this way when looking at Pond, but it feels familiar." - See what I mean? Stop me if I'm actually very fcking delulu because I'm used to doing this from university (looking for undercurrent meanings in texts) but he mentions/acknowledges these feelings as new, yet he also mentions they are familiar.

"Pond slumps into him, clutching his back, curving around him as a willow would in the wind." - what lovely softness in his affections.

Pond closes his mouth again, sweet puppy eyes dripping, reluctance sticking to the tips of his eyelashes. - you write pond with a softness and a need so visceral, and it's so goddamn charming and lovely. i love your depiction of him. so, so much. "A possessive hiss slithers up from the depths." - possessive phu is everything i need in this life. “Yes,” Pond replies, not a strain of doubt to be found in his voice. “I was actually kind of hoping you would… do,” a pause, “something.” - it's so interesting how they don't talk about it, but both Phu and Pond expect it. Both are so eager for it, in different ways. It's so addictive as a narrative. Clearly, communication is amazing, is key, but to see them slide into BDSM-ish scenes, softcore ones, with so much ease and so much eagerness is so fascinating.

"So, you like it when I play with you?" - We ALL like it bro I will never tire of the finger-in-mouth scene. It's my second favorite (the bathroom bite scene was and is my most favorite), but God it's so good. "Open" and POND DOES THAT AND PHUWIN IS SO FJSHFSHGF

He's so hot. What a man. What a vamp. Damn.

(Also julie don't ever think I forgot that you alluded to Phu jerking off while he stuffs his fingers in Pond's mouth- i can't get that scene out of my head. IT WAS SUCH A WHIPLASH)

Their conversation about it being awkward felt so real. They may feel like it isn't like before, but like Phu said, not talking proved to be deadly for them, so it is better to go through this phase of 'things feel stilted' and then grow into it then having misunderstandings again.

Can't wait to see how this combination of "8 on numbing, multiple bites, take photos after" will go jfhsfhsf SO MANY TASTY THINGS GONNA HAPPEN IN THIS NEXT BITING SESSION

you truly left us panting like dogs for more, julie. i respect it. i love you and your story. please take care of yourself, lovely. sorry for the perhaps delulu rambles. i love being delulu for your story tho.

Cooooleeeeee, Cole omg this is everything!!! I'm not certain I will be able to answer and/or address everything to satisfaction, but i shall certainly try! Thank you thank you thank you for having so many lovely thoughts about my story, first of all!!!!

lolololol your stupidity is a LITTLE funny but i've misinterpreted things in fic multiple times myself, i brains just fail to brain sometimes - just ask alan lmao. i've no idea where your brain got the idea of eight breaths from tho - but like, the way i made the scale work IS a bit counter intuitive, because it's a numbing scale and so the higher on the scale the more numbing, would be the logical thing. But then I realised that Pond asking for "more" would mean giving Phuwin smaller numbers and then I was like "I want a 2(/10)" just doesn't sound as sexy as "I want an 8(/10)" - lmao that was my logic so i flipped it 😂 I'm so glad we all want pain for him 😌

I definitely plan on bringing back the forum thing for a Purpose™ so it shall return, but I'm kinda thinking of it having the shape of a mix between online queer spaces and online kink spaces, because like, a minority group finding and teaching each other and sharing online and hosting meet ups etc., but due to a certain level of sigmatism and/or people just wanting to keep it private, it's more closed, more anonymous and/or invite only or access through a vetting process. There's definitely vampirism as a minority group symbology/parallelism in this. Also re: Phuwin's thoughts on how it would affect his career is it was to become public, would he be typecast or labelled etc etc.

I love how you highlighted some of my descriptions, it's really appreciated, because if I do one of the (for me!) 'wilder' ones, I tend to question myself a little more. So thank you for appreciating my descriptions and especially the way i write Pond ❤ I worry about striking balance with his character because I want it to ring somewhat true and not just be soft sub pond all the time <.< but i do write a lot of that. but I don't want him to be ONLY that.

re: the whole 'sliding into soft-core dynamic' thing... it can happen it's not unrealistic i know it because i lived it 💀 at least we both knew wtf a dynamic WAS beforehand so it was much easier to talk about and realise lmao. When the dynamic is there it's just fun and can be quite easy to slide into. And here both characters are eager for it because they got interrupted last time - dynamic blue-balled, if you will. So they're both itching for it.

I'm sooooo pleased you like the fingers in mouth scene enough for it to be your second favourite! to me, there was an important point to make in showing how they can 'play' without any biting involved. It's a very explicit way of showing just how much beyond feeding it has gone - it can exist fully independent of it! Feeding was the means with which it grew between them, how they explored it and how they got to know it, but they don't need it. At least, not for that particular purpose.

(Haha! I'd low key forgotten about that allusion i did in a reply or a tag somewhere - but it's a very good image i'm still fond of it, let us see if it will ever be written ever lmao)

Yeah, they'd become too reliant on intuition so they have to relearn and practise how to do their thing with communication. Which will be awkward at first, especially since they don't really at this point quite have the vocabulary they need for it.

I'm excited for writing the upcoming part as well, but i'm going on a trip with friends this weekend so I MAY have time to update tomorrow aka thursday or MAYBE sunday but otherwise I'm off being social with friends slkghslkhg by god do i need it but it means less time for our boys and their shenanigans.

'panting like dogs. i respect it' made me cackle out loud ❤ incredible. and thank you 😚😚

NOW on to the main question of your ask, which I thought I would tackle last. Phuwin. His mentality. Etc. IT'S A GOOD QUESTION. and the answer is... I've mostly just written what felt natural? What my brain served me? 😭😭

But the thing is, it's kind of both at the same time. Because of their pre-existing closeness and the gradual growth of both intimacy and feelings, he kind of doesn't notice it is happening. And then, because he lacks the framework to think about it in (aka understanding it as kink and/or something sexual/sexual-adjacent (platonic kink can exist too tho!)) he cannot quite pinpoint what his feelings or urges are, just that they are not different than they were. Like, he often needs something 'outside' to give him perspective, like when he thinks about his mother's deal with her coworkers and suddenly gets the flash that he would consider his mom doing what he is doing with pond with anyone other than his father cheating. Or when he comes home and is faced with how everything they're doing has transitioned from something he started out chatting with his mom about (even if he was embarrassed or whatever) to something he very much does NOT feel comfortable discussing with a parent. Like most young people with sex related things.

But then as his self-awareness grows he starts noticing the new elements in the way he reacts to Pond. Like that line with 'new but familiar' - i think, a) it was served to me by my brain when I wrote it i did not have any deliberate thoughts about it lol but also b) like, it's new because he recognises that a pre-feeding-on-Pond!Phuwin wouldn't have felt like that or had that urge, but also, it's familiar because it's been with him for a while, it's just that he's only just now been conscious of it? So it isn't new, but his awareness of it is, so it feels new, but not.

I think I write my phuwin fairly decent at compartmentalising, because that's the vibe I get from him IRL. Also with the way he's talked about how it was new for him to inject a little of himself into Peem, how he usually prefers to keep it as separate as possible, that kind of thing. But they already were uniquely close beforehand, due to their "work-bond", so to speak. Honestly, someone should study BL official couple friendships and how they carry a different type of knowing and intimacy. It's very interesting to me. I think their 'work bond' has impeded phuwin's realisation process, in a way, because the nature of their relationship was hard-to-define/blurry-ish to begin with, and then there was just "added a new layer of blurry", making it harder to tell apart from the others, versus if they'd had a very "standard" friendship with no additional closeness or intimacy beforehand, then the contrast of a new blurry layer would be more noticable. But because it was already "blurry", it made it easier for them to slip into "additional blurry", so in that way I think it may have assisted the process.

I hope that sort of addresses your question(s) about this 🙏 Goodnight, Cole ❤

[adreamingrevenant]

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.

[invinciblerodent]

himh I'll make a Dark Urge that's so fucking scared

big scary bloodsoaked killer, tearing through armies with her literal bare hands? nah. a quiet, scared girl who doesn't understand why she does what she does, why she can do what she can, but is, at the same time, deeply disgusted by herself because she has just enough self-awareness to know to be repulsed.

maybe it's because I'm a tiny bit obsessed with clinging to the thought that people, at the end of the day, are fundamentally good, no matter what. that there is a fundamental human goodness in all people that makes them worthy of redemption, or at least of the opportunity for atonement.

maybe the way I want to play a story like that is with someone who, stripped from indoctrination and free for the first time to think for herself and embrace and be who she is, finds that in the deepest, most hidden pits of her soul, she is not the strong, kind, resilient person she might want to be. try as the might, she is not someone who can bear the weight of her own past, she's just a... a terrified, broken little girl, cowering in the shadows and unable to look herself in the eye. (which also gives me ideas for her relationship with Orin but that's a little bit beside the point)

cathartic self-insert who. therapy? what is that. is it on Steam or Epic.

[bravevolunteer]

thinking about michael between pizza sim and security breach having a conversation with old man consequences…

[sar3nka]

Brain swings violently between "I need to hurt someone" and "I need someone to hurt me" I'm so glad I won't be home tomorrow because holy shit