#beauty beyond my comprehension
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Now the night is coming to an end;
The sun will rise and we will try again.
Did the grass sing? Did the earth rejoice to feel You again?
I couldn't help it, yes, I let it get in The helpless optimism of spring Worn out and tired, and my heart near retired And the world bent double from weeping And yet, the birds begin to sing
For all who wait, For all who hunger, For all who've prayed, For all who wonder, Behold your King! Behold Messiah!
Oh death! Where is your sting? Oh hell! Where is your victory? Oh Church! Come stand in the light The glory of God has defeated the night!
Truce, by Twenty One Pilots // Was It A Morning Like This? by Sandi Patty // Daffodil, by Florence + The Machine // Light of the World, by Lauren Daigle // Christ is Risen, by Matt Maher // Revelation 21:5, RSVCE //
#catholic things#happy easter everyone#beauty beyond my comprehension#in other news i like knowing i'd piss of florence welch by using her very christian undertones in catholic web weavings#anyway happy easter im about to cry about redemption
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idk maybe it’s corny but I think it’s kind of morbidly poetic that the Venture bros symbol/logo is a giant skull…something about a universal symbol of death representing the family that literally defines itself by how it cheats death with scientific manmade horrors beyond comprehension… it’s just so perfect to me sorry
#when you lose a family member what do you do? cry? no! you rebuild him. that is the venture way#mmmmmmm#trying so hard to not make this a parallel to the winchester family but it’s . so hard.#cal.txt#venture bros#rusty venture#dean venture#hank venture#jonas venture sr#malcolm fitzcarraldo#LIKE#THE WHOLE CLONING THING#WHAT JONAS DID TO DON#sweet manmade horrors beyond my comprehension#sorry for finding beauty in an adult swim cartoon it’s just the autism working overtime
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#jonathan davis#jon davis#korn#nu metal#metal#his fucking dance#i cant do this anymore#hes always done the little boppy dance when he has the bagpipes ojt dude#watching him do this in real fucking life literally…when i think pf it.#shivers down my spine broke my brain i love this band so much#also dont even get me started on ths fucking fit i cohld write a 76 page essay on it alone#holy gods hes so fucking talented and beautiful beyond comprehension its actually infuriating#video
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@strawberry-muffin-crisis
'CUERNAVACA CATHEDRAL, MEXICO'. MARY GEORGINA BARTON.
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"Biblically accurate Jeanie" came to me in a vision
....and oh god what have I created-
Bonus live Sullivan reaction:
#Sullivan is 100% the kind of rabbid to fall in love with eldritch beings beyond his comprehension#He sees Jeanie as beautiful either way#I don't think I'm gonna make this into an au or anything I just drew it cuz why not#Biblically accurate angels are neat#Might digitalize this later....#mario + rabbids#sullivan#jeanie#let me know if i need to put trigger warnings in the tags!#my art#edit: I JUST REALIZED I GOT THE SYMBOL ON SULLIVANS CAP WRONG. THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR DRAWING WITHOUT A REFERENCE
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sometimes i think about my spn oc and how i rewrote everything about amara to interact with the story i was trying to tell about her. there were some really neat ideas in that i need to recycle for something one day. like, in the show proper, they just let amara take over a human baby and that’s fine, but amara’s not Meant To Be Here. this entire universe is one constructed in her absence. saying she can possess a human body should be like saying if you took a person and sent them to a universe where 1+1=3, they could just figure out how to function within that.
which in story took the form of Amara being something that could not be Understood, only Rationalized. a force locked outside the narrative who could only get inside and destroy things if given a role within it. by the Winchesters as A Monster To Face. by Chuck as Wayward, Unreachable Sister. and by miss oc as. simultaneously a projected creature to be saved, an amalgamation of injustices done to herself (and others) that would never be righted but could be made up for by being a part of this. and as something impossibly powerful that could be both protection and purpose.
and the Darkness wasn’t any of those things, really, but to have agency in her own story required new shackles, but ones she was always straining against. she wouldn’t fit inside the confines of a human mind, let alone a body, at least not well enough to leave it Intact. like lucifer burning through nick, but Worse. because the burns were an expected outcome of skin not strong enough to hold him. humans were built for angels, some were built better and some worse, but they’re meant to work. putting amara in human skin should disconnect the skin and mind and soul from the reality her brother built itself, i think. slowly. bit by bit.
and at the same time, i’d gone and written the kind of wild scenario you really can only write for your thirteen year old mary sue, given that spn oc the part of herald/high priestess/failed vessel. which she pursued with wild abandon like that would fix anything wrong with her <3
in the end, running alongside the borrowed family theming of the original show was my own theme of “how much self-annihilation will you accept to make your point. are you accepting it, really. or are you seeking it.” not just physically, in letting something unmake the base components of what you are as it tries to fit inside you or in it constricting and suffocating itself beyond self-recognition to get inside in the first place, but, obviously, it’s supernatural, how much selfhood do you cede to your family. is it worth it.
it was interesting, if nothing else. let thirteen year old me cook. she had ideas.
#spn oc#don’t mind this i’m rambling about nothing i felt nostalgic about her (<- my oc)#there was also an explanation in the mix for why amara was called amara in this au too despite. you know. not being a baby.#and it was like. a vessel’s desperate attempt to separate itself from the thing inside it by naming it something other than itself.#like a last moment of self-preservation. the opposite of lucifer using nick’s face and us all agreeing to think of it as his. you know?#and amara means beauty.#it’s a very human need. to name things. and the thing is that humanity itself is antithetical to what amara is. in this au.#not because of any inherent quality of it. but because it was not made with her in mind.#i keep bringing up lucifer but he’s such a good comparison case of what thirteen year old me was trying to construct here#and what i can better explain now that im. not thirteen. but its that. lucifer has beef with humans because they have common ground.#the only reason he can hate them is because they’re recognizable to him. terrible little cockroaches. but something he understands.#amara as i conceived of her could not hate or love or understand humanity. or the world. or anything as we know it. because it was not made#to be seen by her. it was made with the express purpose of her never encountering it.#when i was thirteen i wanted her to be so much more alien than she was. unfortunately this is supernatural and supernatural deals in#Just Some Guy forever and ever <3#but it was my story so i made her fucked up and weird and beyond comprehension.#except. of course. when forced to bend into a shape that makes her Not her.#i don’t think proper envesseling would have been a process either her or the oc survived. not because they’d die but because they’d get.#stuck? i think? that was what the intent was. that they’d get melted together like plastic toys.#chuck had a nice smooth envesseling in this au because these toys are made for him.#and angels need consent and angels get bleedover from their vessels because the toys are shared with them but they’re closer to being toys#themselves too.#i’ve rambled enough honestly no one cares about this but me aksjfkjfks#what was i talking about. right! the naming!#the naming of amara is a nail in her coffin because she is named and it is so human to be named and to be perceived and to be shaped by that#perception. even without malicious intent. even to be looked at as destruction itself and be named beauty.#in the same way you kill what something could be by learning what it is. the way a unicorn dies when you discover how rhinos were drawn.#does that make sense? that’s what kills her. bit by bit.
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@frizzle-mcshizzle
the reason i am so drawn to catholicism and the biting bleeding suffering side of talking about divine love is because i grew up in mainstream protestantism (specifically evangelical, although i spent time in pentecostal churches as well) that had a huge focus on fellowship, dressing up for church, pageantry, and doing nice things for the congregation. like this type of protestantism, the soft soul side of tumblr- the peeling an orange, not to me not if its you, richard siken side- comes ultimately from a place of privilege. peeling an orange and giving it to you is a nice gesture, but ultimately hollow. love is not about small gestures, it is ultimately about meeting someone at their suffering. the people that i love the most in my own love, and the ones who i know love me, are the people who understand my suffering, and whose suffering i understand. they have taught me so much about love. it is ugly and it is not about small, beautiful gestures. it is about recognizing how ugly it is to be human and loving that ugliness anyway- not because we gain anything from loving another person, but simply because they need to be loved. as sweet as the sentiment of doting affection and pinterest-aesthetic board love is, as important as it is to feed people and give them a golden kitchen to be fed in, we have so thoroughly aestheticized love that it no longer has substance, and it is the same thing that has happened in mainstream christianity. by stripping the nuance of understanding suffering, by ignoring the constant woundedness of humanity in favour of creating something that appears smooth and beautiful from a distance, we have developed whole societies and hierarchies where the most vulnerable people are consistently left behind because they simply do not fit because they are not beautiful enough. it is easy to peel an orange and feed it to your lover. it is harder to look at a stranger in all of their inevitable ugliness and eat with them anyway.
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if you could go anywhere/see anything in the whole universe where would you go?
hmmmmm that’s a whole lotta places. uh assuming i could do this like cost free and without yknow dying of space travel and such. i’d explore a bit to see what time is and how it changes. i’d find a field far away and lie down and sing a song. i mean if there’s no limit on the amount of places i can go i’d probably check out a lot of earth too, but i’m curious as to what’s out there in the potentially infinitesimal existence of everything. the chances are however, everything would be kinda overwhelming, yknow there’s a whole lot of everything (as will wood said, everything is a lot) so i think i would also come back home and lie down
#hypothetical questions are my talent evidently#thank you for this ask though it made me think a lot#might be nice to bring someone along for some adventures as well and also for coming back home#like that’s the thing i don’t think i could pin point a specific location for this because surely we cannot grasp what everything is#and how much there is of everything there will most likely be things beyond human comprehension that even if i were to visit would not mean#anything to me. but that isn’t to say that there isn’t significant beauty and worth in exploring everything you can and experiencing#the wonders of the universe#or something i’m just some guy who watched doctor who and also thinks a lot at the end of the day#ezranswers#that’s fun sure fuck it the tag for asks is now ezranswers
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i have figured out the secret to simmering things on my induction hob: patience (<- skill i do not have a particular abundance of when it comes to things i'm doing by and for myself :P)
#another great day to be a beautiful genius :P#however i do continue to make broths beyond my comprehension (sauces that the flavours of which i can't make sense of due to too tired)#soo you win some you lose some :P
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i loooove languages i love learning new alphabets i love the feeling of accomplishment and deep satisfaction of making concrete progress i love puzzles and challenges i love arabic
#honestly i have no idea whats pushing me to do this#but for the past couple months ive been doing duolingo arabic#because it hit me how vital communication is and how even with mandarin and spanish i cant communicate with so many people#it freaked me out even though its unlikely to ever actually affect me#so. duolingo arabic#also my friends mom speaks farsi to her so she encouraged me to do it#i started korean too and youd think id be more motivated to learn that because so many of my friends speak korean#but i just like. fell in love with arabic for reasons beyond my comprehension#and ive been keeping it up?? i really love learning it for some reason#it looks beautiful but also just. idk!!#who knows#im just starting to learn Words now and it hit me how much ive learned#personal log#shifttalks#<- linguistics/languages posts anyone?
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@the-magic-school-bus
had some wine and saw a frog crossing the road and anyway I think God wants us to be happy and that's so awesome
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I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: math as cosmic horror is a deeply untapped goldmine (probably because most writers hate math lol)
#la#I am decidedly not coming at this from a ‘math is bad and scary’ standpoint—quite the opposite#I genuinely like math#but every time I stumble upon a concept or proof beyond my depth it feels like staring into the abyss#seriously try reading up on the millennium prize problems. that is some genuinely arcane shit#past a certain point math and science seem to exceed the physical limits of human comprehension#but we try to understand it anyway and create technology to make it understandable#because there is something captivating and beautiful about these underlying truths of the universe#which we were not meant to know#and also—the further you go—the more existentially terrifying#don’t @ me about existential horror unless you have a phd level understanding of pure math#(which tbf I don’t either but I’m seriously considering pursuing it)
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got into creepypasta readings on youtube again thinking "maybe this time the blatant misogyny wont be as infuriating!!!! :3" you'll never guess what happened next .......
#my words of wisdom#first fucking story i listened to was another one of these fucking#'my extremely poorly characterized wife died and left me with a small child#and now im being haunted by an incredibly generic monster that symbolizes my grief and depression boohoo'#shut up matthew the babadook already did that!!!!#and no youre also not james sunderland fuck off#your wife was just some boring ass 'she was soo beautiful and energetic and the light of my life' cardboard cutout that no one cares about!#just ONCE i want a wife whose husband/bf dies or disappears and SHE gets haunted by the grief symbolism monster </3#or just make it gay like COME ON#and then the next story will just have a gratuitous r*pe scene for shock value or whatever#god why do i even bother#because sometimes there are good ones.... sometimes.....#rule of thumb is if theres a woman in your creepypasta she will face horror beyond her comprehension#just so the male protag can say 'woah thats fucked up anyway;;'#i know this is true for almost all the media out there but god do i notice it here the most;;;#me when they introduce a female character: girl LEAVE 😬😬😬#that was my rambling yeehaw bye
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tagged by @jkrockin: lock screen, last song, last picture taken, and last picture saved.
lockscreen by: @calaqueria
Last picture saved is of my boyfriend which I’m not posting <3 thanks for the tag Jenn!!!
I tag: @muttmaw @hexhux @archiveofourpwn @late-night-melancholy and anyone else who wants to!!!
#nocturnal posting#bored today so why not#i should share a pic of my boyfriend because he is beautiful beyond comprehension#but that would break this hellsite
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@strawberry-muffin-crisis
I went to a candlelight concert in a church last night where they played the best of Joe Hisaishi (the composer for Studio Ghibli) and it was A++
(Edit: for anyone wondering, this concert was presented by Fever and they hold candlelight concerts in tons of cities and countries!)
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