#beautiful way to hate on him
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There’s not enough people talking about how important Stephanie is to Damian’s growth pre-Flashpoint.
Bruce had seen Damian as a beast to be tamed, Tim sees him as a ticking time bomb, and Dick is far better with him but he’s still an authority figure for Damian to combat with. But then he meets Stephanie, a college-aged girl who nobody trusts and he bullies her relentlessly and becomes inseparable from her.
She doesn’t interact with him based on his past, but on what she can see. This 10 year old just threatened to kill her? Wow he doesn’t get outside much. He’s not old enough to have seen Gremlins. What do you MEAN you’ve never been inside a bouncy house before we are fixing that immediately.
They are like cousins to each other. They poke fun at each other for being lame and stupid and Dick has to tell them both to shut up. She doesn’t see him as a project to be molded and redeemed, he’s just a kid with a crappy childhood like her and if he’s nice to her for 5 seconds she’ll do something with him to let him feel like a kid. And he doesn’t look at her and see a liability or a failure or a lost cause, like everyone she’s ever interacted with does. When he’s awful to her, it’s because he’s an obnoxious preteen boy.
And then you get the “there’s room in our line of work for hope, too” scene. Because Damian has gotten to know Steph and he can’t fathom why she’s here. She obviously has had to deal with crap and is still working through being kept on a leash by Nightwing and Oracle, but she isn’t broken like the rest of them are. Damian is surrounded by people who were molded and shaped and torn down and broken to become the monoliths that they are, and then there’s this girl who seems so at peace with herself and is constantly making quips, and it’s so foreign to him.
And she tells him that she’s in his world because she believes people are worth fighting for.
#Batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#robin dc#batgirl#batgirl (2009)#Batfam#Batfamily#dc comics#batman meta#batgirl (2009) is my favorite comic I’ve ever read can you tell#I just love how Stephanie and Damian are so removed from everything when they’re together that there isn’t any hierarchy between them#they each have some sort of hierarchy and Expectation around literally everyone else#but with each other they’re just peers#they can work together and fight together#they can hate each other and be bickering the entire time#but they evaluate each other based on what they see#Damian sees a goofy but determined woman who doesn’t look at him like he needs fixing#and Stephanie sees a violent kid who clearly hasn’t had a childhood but is trustworthy in a fight#and they just. interact based on those factors and nothing else#and it’s so beautiful for them both#and you have the whole ‘fatgirl’ and ‘when did you start stuffing your suit’ comments from Damian that suck#but weirdly I find it comforting because it implies to me that Damian is feeling some stuff that’ll tie into puberty#and he lets himself (albeit in a very uncomfortable and harmful way) feel those emotions and express them to Steph#like it’s very stupid and so early 2000s and frustrating#but I think it’s a little charming how it’s another example of Stephanie sort of being a vessel for Damian to experience normal feelings#even if he ends up being very Damian about it
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"Have you no more memories?"
I am made of memories.
"Speak, then."
#qsmp fanart#that quote is from The Song Of Achilles#beautiful book#HUGE spoiler warning#in the last scene of the book patroclus and thetis are sitting together at achilles' grave watching the sunset#patroclus has just finished recounting the entirety of his life with achilles to thetis#and despite how much the two hated each other; and despite how much disdain thetis had for patroclus for being a human#for the first time in her life thetis understands how much those two meant to each other and how much achilles loved patroclus#and so she lets patroclus travel to the next world to be with him; she sends him off so they can be together#“go” she says. “he waits for you.”#that's basically what I'm thinking of here#an AU wherein which Fit and Madagio find themselves in each others' paths again and Madagio sees that Fit's grief hasn't swallowed him whol#Madagio is curios because he has never understood how to deal with grief in a way that isn't revenge#and asks about it#he asks about the rosebushes and the goggles#and after the two sit for days in a far-out reach of the wasteland; fit talking and madagio listening#madagio decides maybe he can spare the time and effort. maybe he can find a way to reunite fit with pac and ramon;#even if it's just for a minute#qsmp#fitmc#fitpac#madagio#qsmp madagio#54625art#holy shit sorry for yappin so much#mcyt#mcytblr
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Yuuji: Bye, im going to the fire nation!
Sukuna: Not dressed like you aren't.
Proceeds to give Yuuji a boob window in his clothes
ngl anon i took this bit way too seriously n got carried away thinking abt what yuuji's fire nation alternate fit would look like ,, then after figuring it out I thought well now I /have/ to draw air as well ....
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: design#lmhs#answered#anonymous#my sandbox my design i make the rules yuuji hates th air acolyte clothes. i decided bc i didnt like drawing him in them GHSDFH#its in character fr him !! he likes clothing he cn roll n brawl n thrash around in#theres too many layers n folds with those robes th poor boy is gna get tangled :(((((#hes right at home in th fire nation getup tho :D !!#still probably not *exactly* to sukuna's standards but hopefully he appreciates th deep v#its more yuuji coded i think#tho tbh ?? if u take off sukuna's..what even is that a chest piece? pauldrons?? either way if u take those off its just a low cut robe also#sukuna voice u know brat maybe we're not so different u and i#side note i 100% stand by our decision 2 make yuuji a born earthbender but *clenches fist* yuuji in red.............#i love u i miss u#tho in green he gives sakuramochi and i think thats beautiful in its own way
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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i think martha kent should get to threaten rex leech with a shotgun tbh
#rimi talks#many people in kon's life would happily line up to punt this guy and i think that's beautiful#i think clark would have some Feelings about not realizing that kon's living situation was as fucked up as it was#and i would also love to see this. bc like kon also doesn't realize it was fucked up. and is so determined to be independent#but also i feel like i have to add 7386482 disclaimers. NOBODY BLAME CLARK FOR EDITORIAL DECISIONS#just bc clark carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and blames himself for everything DOESN'T MEAN THAT'S CORRECT#(also. ill take traits kon inherited from clark for $800)#anyway im getting off track. the point is. rex coming back into kon's life at some point way down the line could be soooo juicy#like the contrast of kon having a real support system. and being older and less naive.#many directions it could go in. have ma hate rex's ass or lois eviscerate him. have clark and kon have a heart to heart about it.#have tim threaten and blackmail him again bc i still think that's fucking hilarious.#have kara hear about what happened and be filled with righteous fury that has nowhere to go. bc kon wouldn't actually want him hurt#have roxy step in before anyone else has the chance. let her go dad what the FUCK?#it's about the number of people who love and want to protect kon. unlike what happened the first time around#the kontrast of it all. if you will.#and also about kon getting some kind of closure that a grown ass adult Using him as a child was not actually his fault#ough..........
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favorite frank is. frank with kids. this guy was meant to be a dad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#hes doing his best#im not even a big fan of kids myself. cant imagine having any i dont think id be any good at it#franks great though. clearly having kids is something he still really wishes he could have but cant due to. yk. the punisher thing#im tired of hornyposting he makes me sad#fuck whats that one ph comments meme. i dont even want to jerk off anymore i just want to be loved#oooh i think about it. i think about his smile the smile you can only see in old pictures he keeps#and sometimes the ghost of it when hes trying his best with kids#its beautiful how he loves them. and very sad how he hates himself#theres also something to be said about the times kids are scared of him and how he accepts it as part of what he 'needs' to do#surely thats not a part of the way he constantly tries to punish himself for 'failing' his family. surely
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Breaking News: Local Vampire Who Disapproves Of Literally Everything I Do, Also Wants Me To Call Him Pretty
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#its so funny because both him and my pc are rogues but in such different ways#like my pc is a terminal good doer who just also likes to steal shit and astarion is like fuck all of the everything and hates how good i am#but is also like gazing in the mirror and asking my pc to tell him hes beautiful
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I am so interested in hearing more about the world building of your stillborn still-born au!
So what exactly is the burning mountain island and its ecosystem? And have you built out anything for the far frozen in return? Do the far frozen and molten lava island have relations or do they avoid each other? Are they friendly or enemies? Since the yetis of the far frozen are healer-warriors are the locals of the volcano also healer-warriors or are they something else? Does the volcano have an equivalent to Frostbite(maybe called heatstroke or something similar?) to help Danny with his powers and become his ally?
WHY I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!
( @ishkagrante because they asked me the same thing)
The Molten Springs is a mega-island similar to the Far Frozen, but rather than being made up of extreme cold, it's made of extreme heat! The name "Molten Springs" is me playing with the words 'hot springs' and it stems from this fanart I saw a few years back of Vlad relaxing in a pool of lava and Danny being very judgy about it lmao. It's a large, mountainous-volcanic region made up of hundreds of mountains and volcanos. All the rivers, lakes, ponds, etc are made up of lava rather than water. It's extremely hot, as you would expect, and the further inland you go the hotter it gets as you come across more volcanic activity.
All greater rivers and lakes lead back to the center of the island, where Mt. Abzi (created from the word obsidian) stands, a massive active volcano that is thousands of feet tall and is constantly bubbling out lava and feeding it into the rivers. Two to sometimes three times a mortal year it fully erupts, shooting out a massive geyser beam of lava into the sky like a beacon, that lasts thirty minutes before cooling down for a few minutes or hours, before shooting up again. These cause what the locals call a "magma storm", which is basically the human equivalent of flood season because the lava that goes up must come down, and it rains down over the island. This can trigger other volcanoes into full eruption.
I've currently got two names for the greater rivers.
There's Ruzhu (created from the word Eruption), the river that leads over into the Ruzhi Canyon, a great canyon made of obsidian and igneous rock. It's a pretty popular tourist destination, if you get there when the firelight is low you can watch the light glitter and bounce off the walls.
Then there's Spicoria, a river that leads over into the mountain ranges, surrounded by sandbox trees made of petrified wood and smoking leaves. The rapids here grow the sindrillies! Rare purple flowers that resemble the lilies of the nile, they only grow in extremely hot areas. So you can only really find them underground or by the rocky areas of the river rapids. Most flowers come in the same color range as heat. So in oranges, reds, whites, yellows, and blues. The warmer the colors, the more common they are.
Locals live most commonly in caves, in the mountainy ranges where there's less volcano activity (its more convenient), in cold pockets (where the air there is significantly cooler *in comparison to the surrounding area), in the lava. Under-lava cities are very common here, there are entire cities built at the bottom of the lakes and leading into the underground tunnels. Buildings are made of the surrounding igneous rock and obsidian. Gemstones like opal, olivine, agate, amethyst, etc are found growing here since lava has a hand in their creation. They're a little different compared to mortal gemstones, since instead of water they're made of crystalizing ectoplasm. Although what those differences are, I haven't yet figured out.
Jewelry, tablets, sculpting, and oral storytelling are a popular form of artistry since paper really isn't,,, cohesive with extreme heat. Windows, if there are any, are made of volcanic glass and tend to be stained, with various designs on them that depend on the owner's preferences. Due to the lava rivers outside, it's not uncommon for ghosts to wear loose black garments when traveling around in order to avoid getting their inside clothes dirty. Think desert-wear!
I haven't though much about them being healer-warriors (and I'll admit it completely slipped my mind) but it's pretty common for ghosts to go to the lava hot springs, which are situated on the outskirts of the the island, in order to unwind. At least the ones who can withstand the heat when it's at its weakest. Some ghosts can go in deeper, but its really only the fire-core ghosts (like Danny and Vlad) that can actually handle the full heat of the molten springs without melting.
Rip to blob ghosts, Danny watched one melt like an ice cube in his hand once.
The residents of the Molten Springs are fire-core ghosts and other various heat-related mythological beasts. Cyclops, dragons, phoenixes, salamanders, etc etc. If they've got a heat or fire motif, they're there. The Yeti equivalents would have to be the Dragons, because that's who Sunburn is!
Sunburn is the Frostbite equivalent, and he's a massive dragon the size of a mountain, with black obsidian scales. Although he can shrink himself down to size. Danny's only two feet shorter than his eye, which is a lovely amethyst color, and it matches the color of his feathery mane! His mane itself is made of peacock feathers, with purple being the main color and the eyes being a startling electric blue. His fire opal horns are six-pointers, and from a distance blends in with the streams of lava running down the mountains. Despite his vibrant plumage and the jewelry he decorates himself with, he blends in with the surrounding igneous rock worryingly well.
He lives in a massive cave at a collapsed caldera volcano, Danny stumbled across him once on his first journey into the Molten Springs (<- has never watched the far frozen ep so i don't know what happened in it) and woke hm up on accident. Scared the shit out of Danny because he turned around and there was this giant purple eye staring at him.
but it's okay! Sunburn's like. a hippie. so he's really chill. Super chill actually. He's had thousands of years to just chill out. Which is a really good contrast for Danny who is the exact opposite of chill and is constantly on the verge of eruption himself. He helps Danny learn some emotional regulation and how to thermal regulate better.
Sunburn has, on numerous occasions, rumbled out a lazy "nap time" when he thinks Danny's getting too worked up, and then turned and pinned Danny beneath his muzzle. It doesn't hurt him, but it's like a big weighted blanket and it's also like a cat sleeping on you, so even if Dany could move, he wouldn't. He eventually falls asleep 9/10.
Sunburn will also just toss him into the lake outside the cave just. Whenever. What's gonna happen? Danny gets burned? Don't make him laugh. It usually gets Danny out of whatever mental spiral he's in and is just one of the few methods that makes him relax.
As for the Far Frozen! They're on the opposite ends of the ghost zone from each other and are on pretty neutral terms. Residents don't meet often due to their drastically opposite climates, but they can meet somewhere outside of the Molten Springs or Far Frozen, or, with the right equipment, meet in their respective islands. Sunburn and Frostbite are good friends, because I think it's funny if Sunburn has nicknamed Frostbite "Freezerburn".
Also Sunburn doesn't dislike just anyone, but he fucking hates Vlad.
#dpxdc au#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#stillborn? no still born#stillborn? no still born au#danyal al ghul#danny phantom worldbuilding#dp the molten springs#starry's DP Lore#dp x dc crossover#stillborn danny au#vlad's vibes are rancid and sunburn hates him for it#i think i've gotten everything i've thought of currently for the molten springs#all in all my idea for it was for a place full of volcanica activity to be rather beautiful in its own destructive way rather than be#a desolate wasteland. so it's rather beautiful just. full of lava. the island brings heat to the rest of the zone#while the far frozen brings cold to the rest of the zone. thats my interpretation at least
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The racism my beloved Simon had to face….my baby. 🥺💔
Although painful to watch, it felt incredibly validating. It was so annoying watching some people say this show was “only about class” while dismissing the BS that Simon had to go through. The abuse was ten fold because he’s POC and S3 finally exposed that.
That being said, and on a more positive note, it was so incredibly sexy when Simon sang happy birthday to Wille in Spanish (he feels safe with him!) and when Wille admitted to fantasizing about stroking those beautiful curlssss (and then actually did it). 🥹❤️🩹
Wilmon forever. 🤎🤍
#simon the bravest of braves and the sweetest of sweets i love him sooooooo much#and apparently inspo was from irl hate comments omar has received? 🔪#oh HELL no. 🐓🤎#omar brought face heart soul and curls to this season and to this damn show and i love him and simon so much#like it wouldn’t have been that bad if he was fully white and didn’t look the way he did and i stand by that#those online hate comments were disgusting#imported? latin lover? (they were a breath away from flat out calling him a wh*re and i was ready to throw some fucking hands)#even more hurtful because simon was very obviously a virgin when he met wille and didn’t even sleep with that douchebag#who shall not be named on my blog#y’all can try to pry this interracial ship out of my cold dead hands (you won’t)#but we heal and that’s beautiful ❤️🩹#they mean soooo much to me 😭😭😭#and like i said before#no it wouldn’t have been good if simon wasn’t poc I SAID WHAT I SAID WHAT I SAID#young royals#wilmon#simon eriksson#simon my beloved 💜#i love them sooooooooooooooo much.#🤎🤍
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Soooooo funny to see anyone call sanji a feminist even in a joke post. Like my friend he does not believe women are equal. He believes they are better than men, who are nothing but dogs. He's a misandrist.
#he fetishes women and puts them on a pedestal before he even knows them. but all men have to prove their worth.#him and nami handshake meme: only women matter🤝#it's so funny how nami does basically the same thing but in a very healthy non-fetishizing non-creepy chill way. right next to him.#she is completely capable of loving and hating women on basis of actual actions and personality.#SHE IS BIASED TOWARDS THEM IMMEDIATELY. but only in a Life Is Tough For Women (And I Love Them) kind of way and not a.#they must be this wonderful angel who is as beautiful inside as she is outside and if she isn't that's okay<3 we'll marry this spring#kind of way. god. they are so. wow#sanji#nami#one piece#my posts#i truly do not know how she stands him pour one out for our bravest soldier nami d. gay
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I just learned why Shad hates Irene in canon and knowing what I do now about everyone’s favorite the Matron, I can say with my whole heart,
What the hell, Irene
#I keep coming across audios of Hyria telling Irene’s story too#and I can see why the people of Ru’aun love Irene! I see the saint they do in the stories#but I can also see that by the time she got around to Shad she wasn’t that person anymore#she was alone because of her power until she came across Shad and I can see how that might develop into clinging onto him with such an#intensity that she sends him to other realms to foster whatever their relationship is and falling in love with him#Shad is the only person Irene has ever known that’s on the same level as her so it makes sense she wants#him as a lover as something more intimate than what they are#but Shad was tired of being feared and hated and so he falls for the one person who acts very positively towards him#all Shad wanted was to be loved. to have a family.#and he got it! he had the love of his life and a beautiful baby girl and even a close group of friends in the Divine Warriors#and when they need the relics to protect the realm he understands that they’re made with human souls and he accepts that#for the sake of the greater good#only for Irene to use their daughter to make HIS relic and not tell him he’s using the weaponized version of their daughter’s soul#he’s obviously furious when he finds out. he confronts Irene heartbroken that she would do such a thing. Why their daughter?#and then she turns the rest of the Divine Warriors (who all worship her) against him#No wonder Shad wants revenge! No wonder he’s after every last fragment of his relic he can get his hands on#that’s all that’s left of his baby#Or maybe I’m thinking way too hard about a block roleplay#mcd irene#mcd shad#divine warriors#dropofsunlightextras#mcd rewrite#mcd#aphmau minecraft diaries#minecraft diaries#aphblr
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Words cannot describe how much I love this man.
#rainbow223posts#my art#fan art#fanart#doodle#dr ratio#veritas ratio#dr veritas ratio#hsr fanart#hsr#hsr ratio#hsr dr ratio#hsr veritas#he is so beautiful#this man took my heart and put a lock over it#I kid you not I was hooked over him ever since his leaks way back#I would do anything for that man#veritas ratio they can never make me hate you
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Whenever I feel stressed I doodle Nick in this genre
#blind man's bluff#ladyredms#l4d2#bmb spoilers#i love him so much it's pathetic LMAOO#red you write him in such a beautiful way it makes me go crazy!!!!#such a moving and empathetic character study of a really traumatized and self hating and heavily closeted man and his gradual healing#honestly don't wanna admit how many times i've ugly cried because of how you write him and his healing process#he's so skrunkly HRNNNGHHH#also that unfinished sketch is unironically my favorite doodle i've made of nick so far idk why
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#David Tennant#Alec Hardy#Ellie Miller#Broadchurch#my gifs#Yes they're talking about something extremely serious.#But can you see soft way his eyes tenderly trace her eyes and just rest on her face like it's the best thing he could look at?#He spends so long just looking at her -- and she is so mindful of his comfort level and RARELY looks back when he's looking at her.#If he's looking at her she's always looking ahead or down or away.#Except if she needs to hold his gaze to get a message across. Like go make some tea. Or if they're both worried.#This reminds me -- she is so naturally instinctively understanding of him#We rarely hear her addressing him by name after the rant that falls out of him when he has dinner at her place in S1.#She gets that simply looking at someone while you're talking to them is enough. And you don't need to tack on their name on top of that.#Which astounded me actually! I wondered if Chris Chibnall had spent some time around an autistic person!#Because I feel EXACTLY like Alec does abt names! I hate names. I hate using them. It's so unnecessary.#I'm not as outspoken as him though so I use them when I can't get out of it. But I hate it and I hate ppl using my name.#That scene was ASTOUNDING I'm telling you -- it took my breath away to find my very specific struggle onscreen!#Anyway. Yeah. She doesn't bug him or insist even though to her it's second nature.#I bet you she's very good at coming up with pet names -- another thing my autistic brain shrieks at and sth I suspect Alec finds impossible#Oh Ellie -- beautiful beautiful adorable strong wronged Ellie!#Wronged by everyone except him <3#Well and a few others -- Mark was kind to her despite his pain. Brian never treated her badly that we know of.#I will always love them for that.#I wish Jack had survived -- I think he would've been kind too. Maybe she would've hidden in his store when it got too much.
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natlan 5.1 was batshit insane but i won't deny cookery when i see it. last 1/3 of the archon quest is just brilliantly done in my opinion, from writing to level design to soundtrack. just genuine excellence
#sev.screams#natlan#the character centric parts were rather weak to me#ororon has an intriguing arc but i don't care enough about him to care about the arc#similarly i only felt a surface level investment with a lot of the other main cast; though funnily enough excluding citlali#she's a breath of fresh air amongst the cast and i really enjoyed her screentime#there are a lot of story decisions in this quest that i'm impressed and glad hoyo decided to take; it adds a layer of realism to natlan tha#was missing in inazuma and ultimately i believe was the reason inazuma flopped as a nation#there is real tangible weight in the things that happen in natlan; i felt moved by the story and i think that's the hallmark of a good stor#i hope in the next archon quest they don't undo or undermine these decisions in any way. they truly contributed so much to the overall tone#of the story that to remove them would be like taking the legs out from underneath it#writing aside the environmental storytelling and level design also contributed so much to crafting the atmosphere of this quest#it felt gut wrenching in a way inazuma never did. for even the briefest moment these npcs were people and you were watching them struggle#a poignant beautiful desperate struggle that i think is so incredibly human and both moving and heartbreaking to witness#also helped by the exquisite ost. hoyomix has certainly not lost their touch even with yu peng chen gone#despair hope triumph relief; all captured so wonderfully in a score i know i will be listening to for the next few weeks once it drops#i'm rambling so much but. i liked this a lot and i can only hope hoyo sticks the landing on this one#i hate having high expectations but i can't help it for this one i fear
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oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.
recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)
because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.
and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).
Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.
at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.
something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.
Cas never knew.
Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.
but Cas never knew.
the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.
so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.
this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?
nah.
true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.
#beautiful and poignant messages in the 2005 CW cult classic dark fantasy show supernatural that they did by accident#like they literally showed how wrong cas was to believe that happiness ISN'T in the having aaaand qed dean loved him back#spn meta#destiel meta#castiel meta#mine.txt#destiel#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#meta#messy thoughts#lol sorry for the tmi but i needed the lead up okay#i'm fine i knew#i was very much cas in this situation no hope of any other outcome#only he was wrong lmao#I think the way Cas scrunches up his face after Dean's 'don't do this Cas' is almost like that bittersweet regret.#that 'oh. if only we had known this sooner. if only it wasn't too late now.'#AND IT'S A LOT YOU GUYS#i do wonder if cas wouldn't made a different plan with different information#personally i don't think he'd've gone out like that if he understood that dean loved him too#like he saw the love in his eyes. but part of me thinks it was relief that this didn't make dean hate him.#but sometimes it's just bad writing and we can't ascribe conscious thought to an out of character decision lol#but i think after everything cas would've fought for the thing he never thought he could have#which is why in my fix it fic wip that i'll finish someday cas is like okay well. gotta get outta here now and kiss my mute coconut lol#i love them so much
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