#beautiful nightmare | ase

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

WHICH GODDESS FREQUENCY IS CALLING YOU? PICK A CHARACTER.

Hey! So today is a beautiful venusian day. And every venus day I love to express gratitude to the goddess flow. I picked four from egyptian mythology and wanted to do something connected to the energy.

Alright. So lets begin :)

GROUP 1 - BASTET

You are being called to higher ground. You're absorbing too much of other peoples bullshit and boundaries are needed. Peasants are trying to take your charm and your beauty as it is a priceless energy. She's connected to you through your joy and need for stability. Your energy is heighten when alone, and giving yourself time off from things that are exhausting you are important. The Emperor card comes up in the reading for you as a way to give you justice as karma is coming for the ones who tried to break you. Bastet doesn't play hard to get, she doesn't play the fool is all. She's not one to be taken lightly however, and needs you to remember who the fuck you are. Dont quit. Dont beg. And make them wait for it. Ase!

GROUP 2 - SEKHMET - Goddess of the underworld. Scary dreams brought to reality.

Those nightmares are from the unconscious realm. Your fears are wanting to have a dance with you, will you let them? You're being called into the underworld, to process the magic you carry in your psyche and bringing it to the other realities you're scared to walk away from. Your truth is connected to your sexuality, can you let yourself live for once? Secretive by nature, don't let anyone in unless they worked for it. Open books in this group this may have cost you a bit. Be more open about your day to day life, not your private one. Choose wisely. Speak wisely, and open the door for your psychic gifts to pull thru. That fear your feeling as well as that paralyzing sensation when going fast to sleep is your subconscious mind astral traveling and going into other realms of consciousness. Have a light snack or some lavender tea before bed and allow yourself to do some breathing exercises to relax your body before sleeping. This will prepare your body and mind for the astral travel. God Bless.

GROUP 3 - ISIS - THE GREAT MOTHER

You are being called to dance with the great Isis. She is calling all the mothers to awaken their divine essence and grace the world with your remarkable beauty. Your guidance is needed as the world heals from the war and trauma everyone is being induced with. Women and children are needing your help and in some way or form your gifts are the catalyst to stopping the wars inside of our bodies.

ISIS is asking for you to have more boundaries around you and your space. Like your friends in group one, you're priceless beauty can be taken advantaged of if you are not careful. You guys take a lot of time into building your self up so why allow others to bring you back down? You guys have a spiky tongue, only use it when necessary. Know your boundaries as well as your opponent. If they cross them then karma is surely about to deliver. Do not worry about the aftermath, it's exactly what they had coming.

GROUP 4 - HATHOR - Covered In Chocolate. Venus. Restoring Beauty. Divine Counterpart.

There is a sweetness coming into this reading that I adore. Art, sex, and sensuality are a theme for this group. You guys love interest may be the one, and it might need some boldness on your end as well as some patience. Be ready for the ride or die acquaintance that will be coming in very soon. Hathor wants you guys to appreciate the finer things in life instead of worrying about every little detail. Enjoy the fruits of your labor and take some time to live like the divine empress that you are! Take it easy on yourself these next few months doll face. The girls are looking to you as a form of inspo so just remember you are MUVAAAAA ok? You are strength, you are the muse, you are the moment. Hathor needs you to know this and fully accept it. Ase !

Hope you all enjoyed !

[doomboy911]

Theme D&D Monster (Beholder)

Prompt List Creature Codex Art Challenge

Commentary

First off god bless CC for giving me the beholder in pathfinder both as a dm and as an artist because this beauty is a treat to make. I drew this nightmare creature while watching the Bluey special. I knew I wanted red and grays and the bath palette worked great. Teeth are good and the eye is stupendous. Happy artist happy piece.

Here's a version without text.

Palette Picked

[weaselsmuses-aa]

“............”

“I’ve never had such a carnal urge before I need to go stare in the mirror a while and clear my head.”

[jinpanman]

twas tagged by the sweetest most amazing @yeojaa <<333333 i have the biggest hearts for you

last song i listened to: save yourself thanks to beautiful erin. issa bop.

last movie i watched: bad teacher. as for last show, im watching american horror story for the first time. im two seasons in and can i just say i have nightmares for days lol who wants to talk about ahs with me

currently reading: looks at all the ongoing series in my reading pile..... lol um. but ok realistically, am reading my school notes bc f~i~n~a~l~s :-)

currently working on: SOME LAST MINUTE EXTRA CREDIT INC ASE I BOMB MY FINAL LMAO. a christmas collab fic, three fics for this other collab coming 2021, and ofc all my other 2138 wips.

currently playing: nothing. i haven’t played a game in like a month. maybe two. and i am SO DEPRIVED. i CANNOT wait for school to be DONE WITH so i can finally be a potato in bed with my switch ;w;

tagging @hesperantha @hauntedlilies @ggukcangetit @taestybae @iniquitouspoppy @sippingontae @vinterjeon @begineuphoria @bratkook @crazy4myself <3

[anessthesiaa]

I know your requests are closed, so feel free to delete, or pause until you’re taking them again. I just wanted to ask this before I see something shiny and forget all about it! I love your writing and all the prompts you’ve been doing so much! Thank you for doing them! If you get time/interest, I would live to hear these for Flip: G:Gentle, H:Handsy, J:Jealous, R:Ruttish, T:Teasing from the prompt list.

Hi dear! No worries, this just had a delay so I apologize! I hope you love this!

UPDATE: I am SOSOSOSO sorry I originally forgot J, I am so sorry, oh my God, I promise I didn’t mean to.

CW/TW: Mention of sex, spanking, daddy stuff 

Gentle

Despite him being tough, strong, rugged, Flip had quite a gentle nature when it came to loving you. 

Holding you close to him, hands through your hair, soft kisses on your neck, holding your face in his hands, stroking your cheek. He would always ask if you were alright, never pushing you physically. 

Flip would stop at any sign of discomfort, apologizing endlessly, making it up to you with gentle aftercare. 

He loved to tell you over and over how much he loved you, how much he adored you during sex. “You’re so beautiful, love, such an angel.” Your blushing cheeks warm against his hands. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, darling?” He’d ask you, hands interlocked with yours when you were on top, before even thinking about going further. 

“Go ahead and come for me, sweetheart, go ahead.” He would encourage you everytime, staring at you with stars in his eyes as you gushed on him. “You’re so beautiful when you come like that, you’re so pretty, darling.” He would praise as you came down from the ecstasy.

Oral, when receiving it, Flip would keep his fingers tangled in your hair, twirling in gentle, curls never rough, brushing strayed pieces out of your eyes. “You’re so good at that, so beautiful.” 

When he was between your legs, he always let you hold his hands, thumb stroking across your knuckles, reassuring and encouraging you, eyes locked with yours, and letting you tug on your hair, anchoring to him as much as you needed when your orgasm flowed through you, never forgetting to let you know how sweet you tasted. 

Handsy

Flip wasn’t able to keep his hands to himself, period. 

In the movies, in the car, at dinner, watching TV at home, snuggling on the couch, he couldn’t help but grip on your inner thigh, fingers against your slit through your pants, turning you into a wet, quivering mess, when he wasn’t even close to being inside you.

If it was dark enough, or when he damn well pleased, he would slip a hand under your pants, pushing into you, making you gush in public, shushing the scream that threatened to come out of your throat.

He loves to hold your tits, coming up from behind you, hands under your shirt, cupping them, his hands fully encasing the flesh, leaning into you and resting his head on your shoulder. “How’s my sweet darling today? You feel so good, so warm, sweetheart.” 

Ruttish

If there was one thing in the world that Flip couldn’t hide, it was when he was horny. 

Tight hugs, pressing his hardness into you, kissing down your neck, whimpering your name when you so much as lightly stroking his sex. 

“Darling, you look stunning.” He would praise, kissing you all over, hands grabbing on your ass, on your tits, everywhere he could reach. 

When you finally would give him the treat of loving you, he would be too excited to process anything, gasping as he entered you. “Thank you, sweetheart, you feel so good on me, thank you, love.” 

Jealousy

Flip loved to make it known you belonged to him, and you loved belonging to him.

He would hold you while he fucked you, hand around your throat, asking you who you belonged to, loving to hear you say “I’m yours sir, I’m yours.”

There was plenty of spankings from Flip, the welts left afterwards marking his property, branding you, but of course, followed with aftercare, cuddles and lotion, taking good care of his sweet princess.

If Flip happened to see a man try to look your way, he wouldn’t hesitate to jump in, making it clear that his girl was not to be fucked with.

After nightmares, when you were anxious, when you were scared, he would hold you, strong hands through you hair. “Daddy’s got you, princess, it’ll all be okay, daddy’s here.”

Teasing

Flip was ruthless when it came to teasing you, making you wait a full day, sometimes. 

Starting the day off with your vibrator on your clit, waiting until you were inches from coming, and denying you, telling you just to wait until afternoon, and when afternoon came, using his fingers to hit your g-spot, stroking your clit, making you squirm, whimper and begging, telling you wait until tonight. 

At nighttime, head between your legs, tongue soft inside of you, listening to cry out, pulling his hair, begging him; “Please don’t stop, Flip, please, let me-I can’t take anymore.” 

“Not quite yet, princess.” When he finally, finally was inside of you, he would scoop you into his arms, holding you tight to him. “Go ahead, beautiful, go ahead and come for me.” 

Clinging to him as he pushed deep inside of you, hands through your hair as you cried out, clawing at his back, walls clenching on him as you gushed, body trembling in his arms. 

“Good girl, good girl.” He would praise you. “You’re so beautiful.”  He would tell you, holding you as you came down from your euphoria.

[popculturebuffet]

Toons for Our Times: Ducktales: They Put a Moonlander on the Earth!

At Glomglast, Glomgold Glomturns! Flintheart Hero of Earth Glomgold continues riding his wave of good PR from helping save the earth in the manner you’d expect: With  a dangerous attention seeking pr stunt/ferris wheel/half-ased plan to murder scrooge. Naturally Dewey is first in line for it. Meanwhile Webby tries to convince a wound up Penumbra to stay and enjoy earth so she can get a new alien friend who she relates to and her brothers can get a new step mom, while Launchpad is awkward because his coffee with Pennumbra went worse than the one he had with the gas cloud. The Glom Knight Glomturns under the cut. 

This one is late for both good reason, I didn’t want to hog the wifi while my nieces were trying to remote school, and not so good I.e.... I entirely forgot an episode was today because I’m not used to the new schedule, as in the past the show’s either aired on saturday like usual for a disney show, or as a cluster of episodes throughout one week, so even if it wasn’t something I was used to, I was tuned to stay in. The new schedule is weird  and my brain is stupid is what i’m saying. Now i’ve covered my butt on with the review! This week focuses on Penumbra, and explains exactly what happened to the Moonlanders after Moonvasion. For Penny at least she’s apparently been living in the McDuck hangar, or somewhere near it, and working on rebuilding one of the bigger ships to get her people home. Della, while not missing the opprotunity to point out now Penny’s the one living in HER garage buliding a rocket home, pitches in and we see things have clearly changed. At least with Della, Penny’s let down her guard and now openly considers her her best friend.. and perhaps more because the romantic tension is so thick here you could cut it with a sword. Granted I may have swords on the brain because of this. 

Which if your not up to date on your x-men comics, is an event where our Uncanny X-Men, now having their own nation of krakoa where all mutants are welcome, which includes apocalypse so he’s on THEIR SIDE in that shot, must fight ten other mutants in a ritual sword duel with some of the strongest swords in the mighty marvel canon, and loosing means the other mutants, many of whom are the CHILDREN of apocalyspe from centuries ago he thought lost, get to invade earth with a demonic horde. And if NONE of that made you curious, let alone want to read that, I just.. don’t get you. 

Back to the gays, yeah the ten sword thick sexual tension is broken by the fact that Penumbra reveals she tried SOME earth culture and did get that coffee with Launchpad, with Della baffled.. I mean look at those abs. Though it’s probably less “Launchpad really?” and more “Why not me first? Is he sexier? Dammit he is. “ It went about as well as you’d expect.. with Penny storming out suddenly saying this is terrible and running off. Eh not the worst first date i’ve seen in animation this year. I’ve seen a woman go on a date with a man conjoined to his ex.. and not like their siblings it’s a medical procedure. Because close enough is pretty fucking insane and let’s keep it that way.

But yeah so Penumbra’s not sold on earth and Della’s attempts to get her to go with the kids, get to that in a minute, fall on deaf ears. But the thing is. her people are. When meeting with gibious and zenith, if you don’t remember the married moon couple we saw back in “The Golden Spear”, Penumbra finds out she’s the only one who wants to go home. Her people like it here...the happy couple even got adorable new outfits, a job with Glomgold in Gibbious’ case, and an adorable new dog named good boy. Look at them. 

I would die for either of them. I hope we see Good Boy again. And that the show introduces Bolivar, donald’s dog at some point. Or even his ostrich hortense. I just want the duck to have a pet dammit. 

Point is their happy here and while Penny wants to go back to the old routine of them all on the moon and her saving them.. their fine if she wants to go home but.. their staying here. And it’s easy to see WHY they want to: The moon was harsh, filled with monsters and much like us humans right now with earth, they only stayed in their clusterfuck of a home world because they had no way out. It’s probably why Lunaris sold hte invasion so easily: With his pitch they were just taking a nicer world from a bunch of mean asssholes who refused to share it and whose sole representative had seemingly betrayed them. Without any reason to hate the earthlings and, outside of once incident later in the episode, the earthlings accepting them with open arms and forgiveness, why wouldn’t they stay on a nice, sunny world, in a large city willing to house them and give them jobs, with delicious foods and all sorts of fun shit to distract you from the bad parts of living here that the moon lacked. 

Penny’s issue is while THEIR lives were miserable.. her’s wasn’t. She was a hero, a super hero really.. I mean she’s dressed like a kree sentry, she protects the helpless and she’s a fearless warrior whose now a fish out of water on a world she never could’ve expected but grows to love. Martian Manhunter, Captain Marvel, the Mar Vell one, Warlock, Adam Warlock and yes their separate characters, Supergirl, not superman because while he is an alien he grew up here.. all aliens who immigrated here and grew to love and protect it and see it as their home. Penny just hasn’t got to the “love and protect it” part yet and while the rest of her people have new purpose, new homes and new lives and still meet once a week to party she finds herself, theri greatest champion an outsider, desperately wanting her old life back but not accepting it’s gone. She can go home but she’d be the one person on a desolate moon clinging to the past.  Penny here honestly reminds me of jasper in steven unvierse future: Both are old soldiers who find their empire gone, their entire way of life uprooted and have no way to cope and desperately hoping things will collapse back to THEIR normal, not realizing the new one isn’t going anywhere and is better for their people. They need to move on but their too proud and too scared to try. 

However Penny refuses to admit defeat to her people and that she can’t have “earth fun”, and left with no other choices, decides to take the kids up on their offer after all. To explain that we quickly wrap to the top of the episode, where Webby, bored and having trouble finding anyone, finds Penny and after Penny dosen’t want to hang out finds Dewey and Louie. I assume since their absent this episode, Huey is introducing Violet to Gyro, Fenton and Boyd, Beakly is buying groceries, Donald is courting Daisy and Scrooge.. is trying to get fethry’s hands, feet and head out of pickle jars because he thought they’d preserve him and Donald is busy for once so he’s the only one left to do it.  Louie and Dewey plan on just laying around and biinging old ottoman empires, I can relate, but the news gives them a better option. A GLOMGOLD OPTION. Oh me mow how i’ve missed this big beautiful man. Seriously Glomgold is easily one of the best parts of the reboot and Keith Fergeuson brings an utterly delightful manic glee to the guy any time he shows up to eat the scenery whole. While I get holding back on him since he had an arc last season, it’s still nice to have him back in all his hammy glory.  And naturally being glomgold he has a scheme going: After gifting a rolelrcoaster previously, over water and with sharks because his brand’s nothing if not consistent, he’s now offering the flintferris glomwheel, which is shoddy, dangerous, secretly a plot to kill scrooge, and is very likely to kill a child.. so in other words it’s Glomgold himself roleld into a ferris wheel. Dewey is psyched to go because he let another kid go first for Glomgold’s last PR Stunt/Nightmare and that kid got all the glory and as such is now Dewey’s new nemisis. So after asking his mom “If we can go ride a death wheel so I can get famous’, which of course Della says yes to, our heroes end up taking Penny along.  Launchpad drives and gets his subplot for the episode, being awkard around Penny because the date went bad and not sure if this makes then enimies and avoiding her. He tries going to dewey for help, and while Dewey is out of his element, he does actually give good advice to just talk to her.. Launchpad just takes it while he’s driving because it’s launchpad. Thankfully webby can drive. He spends the rest of hte episode getting into shenanigans before, after helping her with the climax, phrasing, being honest and apologizing. And i’m also covering the plot to get her answer out of the way now: Penny admits he’s fine, thery can be fight buds, he’s a good warrior sh’es just “Not interested in an earth..male” her exact words. 

I mean.. there’s no real subtly here. Even if she’s not into Della, which all evidence suggests is the case, Penumbra is CLEARLY into women. I mean Frank is basically saying as loudly as his mousey overlords will allow “SHE’S GAY FOR DELLA”. Wether this goes anywhere, I dunno. While Lumity started ramping up this year, that property’s not based on Disney’s classic canon and STILL had to fight tooth and claw to make Luz bisexual and her love intrested a girl. Disney won’t even let this show use Mickey and almost didn’t let them use the rescue rangers, the odds are against them.. but I also never thoguht we’d see violet’s gay dads on screen, or so many previously  comics only characters, so frank’s said screw the impossible before. Now probably is no different. 

Back to the main plot, and to the return of Glomgold whose great as ever. Glomgold made the moonlanders and some of duckberg think he was soley responsible for saving the world.. how many people besides the non-penny moonlanders think he actually did it is up for debate but he DID genuinely help save the world. Also his scheme to get his company back somehow WORKED despite not being legally binding, as he’s now back in his tower, back to scheming and has an actual assitant instead of a professional career woman he treats like one in a bit that didn’t age all that well even a year later.  Gibious is now Glomgold’s sidekick and in a nice contrast to Owlson instead of being fed up with his crap Gibious, buying into Glomgold’s own ego, lavishes praise on his new boss, treats him like the god he thinks he is, and is genuinely sweet and helpful. It’s a nice dynamic giving Glomgold someone who ACTUALLY and genuinely likes him as a person and wants him to suceed and trusts in his insane schemes and leads to some great bits like Gib genuinely calling the safety inspector when Glomgold makes an airquotes remark about it and at the end Glomgold admitting “I can’t stay mad at you” to his new lackey/Best friend. Frankly Glomgold needed a 21 to his Monarch, and i’ts a delight to see it and Paulson and Ferguson have real chemistry.  Meanwhile in the A-Plot, Webby tries to get Penny to enjoy earth, first with a street performer she tosses in the water ,as you should, then with a shooting range which ends with her massacering a clownhead to the children minus webby’s horror and tears. We were one more frame away from this really. 

Also we get the ducks feeding.. ducks, a gag Frank’s apparently wanted to do for three seasons now, and with Penny being as confused as the audeince. but non of this, including roller skates really works.  So while Dewey goes off to get in line to one up his rival, Webby gets honest with Penny about why she’s so invested and this episode goes from good.. to truly fantastic. While webby fangirling over a mighty and gay space warrior makes sense, there’s a personal reason she wants to help here that really tugs at the heart strings: Webby was like her once. Like Penny she spent her whole life honing herself into a weapon, sealed in her own tiny world, For Penny it was her moon village for Webby it was the mansion. And being thrust out into it was .. frightening. We saw webby struggle to adjust in “Daytrip of Doom!” and part of her wanted to plunge back into the mansion and her saftey net at times. But she didn’t.. with the help of her family, and her friends, she found out just how wonderful the world is and how as scary as the world is.. it opened up new parts of her. Duckberg webby was just as great as mansion webby if not better. So Webby wants to do the same for penny and what really clinches the scene is how she does it: a Hamburger, the symbol from the pilot of what webby was deprived of all her life, given to a new friend as a symbol of what the world offers. And it works at first, even without cheese. But then Penny gets a brain freeze, and Glomgold, needing a distraction from the saftey inspector rames her as going beserk because he’s an asshat in every other way let’s add racisim to it. 

A chase insues, Penny’s determined to flee.. but she gets a second wind when Dewey, who rushed in to get the first ride and webby get trapped. Sadly dewey’s new enemy gets all the attention, and as we find out is aware he one upped Dewey and brags over it, but Penny has now gone from fish out of water to shark on the hunt, and with Launchpad’s help to get past Glom and Gib, and the roller skates from earlier finally has some earth fun by skating into the air, climbing the Ferris wheel and saving the kids. Penny FINALLY found something she likes about earth; That she can Still protect people, including her people and do what she loved there and the danger here is WAY more intresting.. I mean on hte moon itw as just the usual monsters she was used to. Here she had to rocket into the air, and climb an megalomainics cannon armed ferris wheel to save two adorable children. In short she’s become a super hero and like those I mentioned, has grown to care about earth. So basically this is like captain marvel was an episode of Steven Universe. I likes it. But it’s a nice character arc, as Penny realizes the outside world, and her new friends/future stepchildren, have b eauty and worth. And she will protect their kind, she will protect them. I mean duckberg already has about 4 other superheroes if you count lena, which with that outfit last time I dooo, but frankly with how much disaster it faces on a daily basis, and how much Fenton needed a goddamn break, and with Darkwing leaving for st canard soon, they could probably use her. 

So the day is saved, Glomgold is buired in fines but has a new minon, Dewey is dewfeated and Penny is happy again. We end on Penny recounting everything to Gibious and wife, and Good Boy obviously, along with Della who casually admits she really shoduln’t of let her child go but sooths him anyway over his loss. Penny is happy and deciding to stay, and her and her new best buddy laucnhpad are going to go tear the ship apart with her carrying della along. I swear when they finally do do it she’s just going to.. carry a willing della to her bedroom and throw her down on that thing.. everything after is up to you Id ont’ write porn here. Nothing wrong with it just not my bidness. So with a hopeful new future and a neat t-shirt, Penny finally finds her place in the world. 

Final Thoughts: A very good, very gay episode that’s just as good as last weeks and gives penumbra a hell of a character arc, while also being an utterly hilaroius episode, from penumbra’s destruction, to glomgold’s hilarious as always antics to dewey’s attention whoring reaching self endagering heights of stupidity and ego, this was a great one and keeps up Season 3′s quality streak. While the plot progression may be slow for now, everything else is at an alltime goddamn high. 

Next week, it’s the HALLOWEEN EPISODE BITCHES. Nuff Said. Until then you can check my blog for more reviews, as we have some halloween stuff coming up. Sadly with Loud House going silent, it seems this is our only weekly coverage but expect more reviews of various shows, and some very spooky ooky ones coming very soon including some brucie bonus episodes and until we meet again, go team venture! Play us out glomgold....

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

little rep tour things

feeling your heart physically crumple and fall out of your chest when the tour starts and all you hear is reporters saying hateful things

and all those clips from previous eras?? and people are trying to hurt her??? and it’s just... so much pain???

it’s BUILDING and everyone’s yelling and 

then

BABY LET THE GAMES BEGIN

silence....

“are you ready for it?”

the arena EXPLODES

when she says “i know i’m gonna be with you” and you feel like she’s talking to you

“he can be my jailer” BANG BANG “burton to this taylor” BANG BANG

the choreography during ready for it just awakening something inside of you

when she goes up on “are you ready for IT”

THHE HIGHER UP HARMONY SHE SINGS ON THE LAST TWO LINES OF READY FOR IT

at this point we’re all in tears because we know the games have begun

the two dancers falling in slow mo as she says “i play em like a violin”

the whole intro to i did something bad is slowed and drawn out because every single lyric has so much meaning and you feel ALL OF IT

the laugh she does after “and i make it look it oh so easy”

“they tell me threEEEEE”

fanning herself and then rolling her eyes during “all he thinks about is me”  alsdkjf

IF A MAN TALKS SHIT THEN I OWE HIM NOTHING

SILENCE

every single person on stage RAVING during idsb

“then he had it comING”

the fireworks actually setting you on fire during BANG BANG good BANG BANG 

when she sings “they’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one” and she’s reaching out to all the dancers that pass her by and they leap away :(

“and it’s just for fun” you’re right and you should say it

“light... me... uuuuuuppp” all seductive and then RADIDIDIDIDIDIDI DI DAH

she just murdered every single human man in a 50 mile vicinity

she thanks us for being there as if??? WE aren’t thankful to be with her???

“even more than beautiful.... what is that called? GORGEOUS”

we all know at least one (1) person who brought a triangle just for gorgeous

(and we worship those people every sunday)

gorgeous being just for the ladies of the rep tour :’)))

the cat stickers!!!! it’s what those soft ladies Deserve

the little jump choreography in gorgeous!! with the circle arm thing!!

a song starts building and you can’t tell what.... and then...

YOU GOT THAT JAMES DEAN DAYDREAM LOOK IN YOUR EYEEE

EVERYONE’S LOSING THEIR MIND

STYLE NEVER SOUNDED SO GOOD

all that strutting she does.... please step on me..... ple,ase

when she introduces her band during love story... the people who have been there from the beginning, been there since love story, and stuck with her ever since

(i’m bawling)

amos ROCKING out, doing that thing he always does where he stands with his legs far apart

taylor booping paul’s nose :)

taylor and amos and paul :)

LOVE STORY FADING SEAMLESSLY INTO YBWM

the “you know you’re bout to cry” CLAP CLAP lives on :’)

the whole arena BOUNCING during ybwm

the echoey choppy montage of all the previous eras and everyone’s like what’s? going on?

the rock intro of lwymmd KNOCKING YOU DEAD

the spooky ghost like background ooo’s

KARYN COMING OUT AND SAYING HELLO

tiffany haddish being so done “cuz she’s DEAD” duh

end game!!!! she’s on the tour even though no one thought she would be and i’m so glad to see her

literally any of the dancers from this tour could walk on my face and i would be so happy

the drums in king of my heart yeAH THOSE ONES 

the king of my heart playoff is so HYPE with all the drums and the electric guitar and WOW

she gave everyone light up bracelets because she wanted to see all of us :’)

ONE

TWO

THREE

LET’S GO

BITCH

the golden thing she flies in above the crowd and all the visuals are of space and she’s just floating through the cosmos

all the delicate dresses being equally Iconique

SHAKE IT OFF!!! IS SO GROOVY AND BOPPY :D

camila and charli coming to sing shake it off with taylor because shake it off was always meant to be one big dance party where everyone was invited 

dancing with our hands tied and so it goes are both so.... multi faceted. they both sound so good with a band and production and then, acoustically, it sounds just as good?

It’s the Duality of Man.

she went so out of her way to make sure that the surprise songs were always something that we wanted to hear??? she’s so thoughtful

she walked through the crowd again after not on the 1989 tour and i am: a mess of tears and tissues

her cool lil camo jacket that has all the patches on it!!!! i love her so mUch

BLANK SPACE IS JUST AS SASSY AND ROCKING AS EVER

when she talks about seeing us putting on costumes based on lyrics so she wanted to put on a dress for dress to be just like us :’)

those cool fabric waver people!!! you know the ones!!!!! 

eVerything about dress was so pERFECT all the lighting and her flowy skirt and just.... everything matched the vibe of the song flawlessly

“everything just stops” aND EVERYTHING

STOPS

NO LIGHTS NO SOUND

EVERYBODY’S YELLING

when she takes off her dress on the very last “only bought this dress so you could take it off”

BAD BLOOD SOUNDS SO?? GOOD???

the snake cage sdkflsd

then! there’s banjo! and it sounds familiar but like... what is it?

and thEN

SHOULDA SAID NO! SHOULDA GONE HOME!

those two songs fit so well together??? how???????

they have the same Energy. it was Meant to Be.

there are PEOPLE flying through the AIR for REAL  w h a t

everyone simultaneously yelling “you forgive you forget but you never let it GO” because it’s just Understood

david going OFF on the keyboard on the should’ve said no playoff

it’s pitch black and then... mmmMMM

suddenly, we have been taken to church

the way you could feel the rise in temperature because of all the FIRE

sis really pops off during don’t blame me

literally....,.,...., she’s been possessed. hitting the floor, throwing her head back..... AND I LOVE IT

every single vocal in don’t blame me is? stunning? breathtaking? award-winning??? 75,000 people were all found dead instantly

all the dancers dressed in those big black outfits felt like they were nightmares creeping up behind her, like the manifestation of all the people who said “she’s gone too far this time”

PAUL RIFFING DURING DON’T BLAME ME YES GOD

and all of a sudden, there’s a piano behind her. we know what’s coming. the arena collectively bursts into tears.

“this song for me has always been about you”

what did we ever do to deserve her?

long live and new years day are so beautiful together... long live is about being on the top of the world with the people you love the most, in all its glory, and new years day is about being with the people love the most, without any glory or victory, and it still feeling just as sweet.

the way she sings it. you can feel that she means every single word

everyone in the arena has their arms around each other and is swaying

nothing has ever been more meaningful.

you thought you were done crying?? HA. let’s read ‘why she disappeared’ it’ll be fun!

after bawling to near years day, having made it this far in the concert, after all the songs about being torn apart and trying to get over your bad reputation, you feel like you really have bathed in your brokenness. 

and now, in a stadium of so many people who have been through exactly what you have, you are standing there, with a love that really is something, not just the idea of something. taylor is that love.

aaAAND WE’RE BACK TO BOPPING

the visuals for getaway car were so cool?? you really felt like you were driving in a getaway car through a forgotten wasteland, on the run from your demons

WE NEVER! HAD A SHOTGUN! SHOT! IN! THE DARK!!!

the cute lil slide dance she does in the “ahhhhh”

the way she almost waltzes with her dancers during call it what you want! all of that song just flows like a daydream

taylor is the one i’m walking to :)

all the dancers have so much personality!!! i would do anything for them!!!

the newspaper confetti starts falling at “would you run away with me? yes.” because despite all the things said about her in the media, we still run away with her. :’)

OOOO OOO OOO OOOOO RESONATING IN YOUR SOUL

WE!! ARE NEVER EVER EVER!! GETTING BACK! TOGETHER!!!

THIS IS THE BIGGEST HAPPIEST DANCE PARTY I’VE EVER BEEN TO!!!!

and then!! the OOOOOOOOO OOOOOO, AND HERE’S TO MY REAL FRIENDS

I’M CRYING! I’M BAWLING!!!!

I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY AND FREE

the FOUNTAIN the MANSION we’re ALL swimming in a champagne sea and dancing and feeling so gatsby for that! whole! year!

WHEN ALL THE DANCERS ARE LAUGHING AND NONE OF THEM CAN SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

we may not be able to have nice things all the time, but tonight at the tour, we certainly did.

this tour was for us, beyond a shadow of a doubt. and dancing and singing and crying and laughing felt so special and meaningful, and as we all walk to our cars, we’re skipping and humming because we know that we just had the best night of our lives.

thank you for this tour, @taylorswift. we’ll always, always be grateful.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

LAVENDER QUARTZ : EMOTIONAL HEALING, STRESS RELIEF, STONE OF PEACE.

In honor of me making a lavender oat milk latte, and bouncing into the lavender cake dimension.. I've decided to make a post about lavender quartz.

This quartz is a beautiful gem similar to its homegirl, the rose quartz. Connecting us to peaceful states of mind, this can help anyone relieve themselves out of a state of anxiety.

With lavender, its connection to the third eye and crown chakras is evident. With this being like the lavender itself through its whimsical color, it is no wonder it is a stone of serenity.

With this quartz, if dealing with forms of stress and paranoia this stone can connect you to the clarity one needs to relax. Sometimes our minds can play tricks on us, causing us to go crazy. But with a lavender quartz, it keeps those haunting thoughts at bay, while also healing the emotional wounds tied to that type of thinking.

Ever wondered what you needed for you're own personal well being? Give yourself grace for the time spent stressing over something that didn't need worrying. The lavender quartz helps with illusions that causes these psyche attacks. Giving us time to explore the mindset and validating our emotional wellbeing in terms of healing.

Opening portals in the imaginative realms so that our minds can explore the different options for our minds to breathe, think and be more mindful.

Creating space for this lavender quartz in your life will allow bliss in all stages as it creates an opening for your aura to cleanse itself from old beliefs, lack consciousness and controlling thinking. Blissful experiences can endure when meditating and/or sleeping with it under the bed. Just don't forget to add intention with this pretty gemstone first. Could be a helpful tool in astral travel so you don't get lost and lose control of yourself when out of the body.

Nightmares can turn into peaceful dreams and insomnia can flow into journaling as its usually a case of too many thoughts taking up space and energy.

Healing with this stone is recognizing where we are not allowing ourselves to breathe, and stopping our footsteps into ordering the brain to chillax. Because the world needs less paranoid thinking, and more relaxing. The subconscious world gets a step foot into the conscious world with serene energy connecting it thru the gates. Giving you a chance to see yourself in a better reality than the one you had yourself in before.

A lavender quartz, is truly an amazing gem. Much more can be explored with this serene peaceful stone.

Ase!

[notprincehamlet]

tecklenburg misadventures & meeting pia again: a post

August 13.

11 am. I come to the Düsseldorf train station to leave for Tecklenburg.

11:15 am. Turns out my train, of all trains, is five minutes late. Interesting.

12 am. Someone kicks me out of the seat because they booked it. After that I start realizing I will probably miss the second train because this one was late in the first place. Mild fear begins to settle in.

1 pm. The train arrives. I jump out and see that my other train has not left yet. I sprint down and up the stairs with my heavy-ass suitcase in two seconds. I make it to the train. Some guys are laughing at me. Then I see the info board. Turns out this train was also late. It doesn't leave the station for the next ten minutes. I begin to get the jokes about Deutsche Bahn.

2 pm. I arrive to Lengerich. Now I only need to catch the bus to Tecklenburg. I see two buses approaching but I'm not sure if any of them is mine. I have to check. By the time I finish checking, both of the buses have left. One of them was definitely mine.

2:30 pm. I find the bus schedule on the wall. Apparently, the next bus will only come in two hours because it's Sunday. I want to punch myself in the face. The station is eerily quiet. I sigh, sit down and start rereading Rebecca.

2:45 pm. A taxi drives by to the taxi parking. The driver and I exchange glances. I'm not sure if I should do this and spend the money on a taxi. But what if the bus doesn't come and this guy also leaves?

3 pm. My anxiety and I approach the driver. "Sprechen Sie Englisch?" I ask hopefully - hope is always the last to die, after all. "No". Hope dies in agony. "Können Sie mich nach Tecklenburg fahren?" He can. We drive.

3:15 pm. The hotel door is locked. This can't be happening. I start pushing every button I can find on the wall because I’m smart like that.

3:16 pm. A man parks his car nearby and comes to the door, carrying some boxes. I ask him if he knows how to enter, adding the shameful "Ich spreche aber fast kein Deutsch" at the end of my sentence. Turns out he works here.

3:20 pm. The key to my room is missing. I love adventures. The room, however, isn’t locked, so I can at least come inside and get ready for Rebecca. "Der Schlüssel kommt später," says the guy. Cue nervous laughter.

4 pm. I come down to ask if anyone has found the key. Nope. Someone, however, is gonna come in an hour, and that someone apparently has the key. I start googling mild German insults, just in case.

6 pm. I come down to leave for Rebecca and see the key hanging on the board behind the counter. The girl (she speaks English) hands it to me. "Sorry, I found it too late", the woman next to me says, also in English. She is beautiful. I'm gay and not angry anymore. She tells me to open the front door with the same key because it will be late when I return from the musical. She asks me if I would like to have breakfast tomorrow from 8 to 10. Maybe I would but I’m too gay to think about it right now. On that bright note I lock my door and leave.

***

I did manage to come earlier, which was nice after all the nightmares I'd had about being late to Rebecca (yeah, I guess being a bit late to Elisabeth in June took a toll on me). It was such a nice weather and I'm SO grateful for it, especially since it had been raining so hard the night before. Tbh I’d been kinda skeptical about the production at first becase it looked so different from the Stuttgart one and I thought the costumes looked ugly but my friends told me I’d definitely like it (especially if I didn’t rewatch the Stuttgart production - which I didn’t). AND SURPRISE, I LOVED IT. Let me just say I will never doubt open air productions again. Everything was so cleverly done imo and I loved the changes made to adapt to the demands of an open air stage and the costumes didn’t look so ugly in person :”) I would’ve loved it even if it hadn’t been Gay™ and that’s huge because Gayness was my main criteria for this show (i know.... i know)

We all know the main reason I came there for (Gay Icon Mrs Danvers aka Pia Douwes aka Actual Light of my Life etc etc) but I was really excited to see the rest of the cast. I was curious about Milica since I’d only heard like.. one song of hers. And I loved her (d u h I almost cried during Zeit in einer Flasche), though her Ich seemed a bit too mature for my liking. As for Jan Ammann, I still can’t believe I saw and heard him live, I love one man ;~~; and I don’t know him personally but I.... trust him. Also! He looked more like Laurence Olivier than usual, 10/10 would recommend 😍 I was very much looking forward to Roberta Valentini as well. I love Kerstin Ibald’s Beatrice with all my heart but Roberta was wonderful too, and I think I would’ve picked her Beatrice if I ever had to choose. I’m glad I don’t actually have to choose though C: I also really liked Thomas Hohler, which was a surpise since I’ve never given much thought to him. Guess I gotta check him out in Elisabeth or something.

(there was also this one guy in the ensemble whose face was dead serious the whole time he was dancing and it was h i l a r i o u s. also #mood. and he reminded me of Thomas from Downton Abbey)

Now, to the Love of my Life. Mrs Danvers was Extra Gay in this version, I would like to thank everyone involved in making the gayness happen ;~; the Gay Subtext™ was palpable and I loved every second of it. Pia was amazing and killed it in every song, and by it I mean “IT but also ME”. The stage was pretty big and I died a little every time Pia was upstairs or in Rebecca’s bedroom because I couldn’t see her properly then. Good thing I have a strategy for such cases; it’s called “press glasses as close to your eyes as you can and squint as hard as possible”. Now to (some of) the songs and general moments.

Sie ergibt sich nicht: gay, upstairs, the orchids are red, nice Die lieben Verwandten: ROBERTA AND HER PLAID TWEED LOOKS The scene after Bist du glücklich: the way Danvers asked Ich what she did with the remains of the statue made a Danvers-shaped hole in my heart (and I don’t even like Mrs Danvers l o l)

Danvers: *lurks at the back of the stage looking pensive* Me: *clutches chest* oh my god (was she realy somewhere on stage during Hilf mir durch die Nacht or did I imagine it? or was it during another song? I honestly can’t tell anymore)

Was ist nur los mit ihm: I just listened to it again and almost cried, I love Roberta so much and I loved her in that green dress Sie war gewohnt, geliebt zu werden: THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG FROM THIS MUSICAL NO JOKE and I loved the whole setup with Rebecca’s bedroom. Not sure what to think of the whole Favell on top of Danny thing but I had to try very hard to block every association with amateur porn from my mind because EWWWW. In other news: this song is still gay and I  l o v e  it. Rebecca: I REALLY ACTUALLY HONESTLY HEARD IT LIVE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. ICONIC. Obviously, this song became 198776542x times more gay (I thought it wasn’t possible but here we are) because of that Rebecca shadow thing and Danvers putting the nightgown on her. I had vaguely heard about it and I’d heard it was controversial so I didn’t really know what to think at first. It’s hard to overestimate my undying belief in not having any physical representation of Rebecca at all, and I feel like this wasn’t really necessary, but on the other hand the production didn’t suffer one bit because of it. Plus the Rebecca/Danny shipper in me says YES PLEASE THAT WAS AMAZING. Yeah, I’m pretty biased here (BIased!!!!! get it????/?). Finale erster Akt: I got chills.

Then came the intermission and after an hour of sitting on a wooden bench my lower back was Not Happy.

Rebecca (Reprise): I felt like someone was cutting my heart out of my chest thanks to Pia, plus goosebumps all over Nur ein Schritt: I live for creepy!Pia tbh. And the rocket was real! Have I mentioned I love open air now? Mrs Danvers bin ich: Danvers looked so hurt, m*rder me right now :”) and I was looking forward to hearing Pia shout “Nein” but I got distracted right before it l m a o. Life is hard when you have the attention span of a goldfish. The court scene: I live for this kind of symbolism!!!!!!! The scene where they found out Rebecca was sick and it was like someone stabbed Mrs Danvers when she heard it.... that moment ended me. I thought that was IT. But I knew nothing yet. Ich war ihr nah: WOWZIES. I’m always a sucker for some suffering!Pia, especially when she’s alone on stage. Just. Wow. Her voice. Her acting. She really did THAT. Also...... gay. Jenseits der Nacht & Manderley in Flammen: I LOVED the way they handled the fire!!!! That was the thing I was looking forward to the most. Everything looked so good. Besides, the weather was really cooperating which only added to the atmosphere. My friend had told me I would die and I *was* dying, but then The Scream happened. THAT was when I truly died. The Scream & Rebecca taking Mrs Danvers with her: DID SATAN CREATE THIS? IS THIS A FANFIC OR?? I’M???? #DEAD #SHOOK #SHOOKETH Tbh I was about to crawl to the nearest cemetery, dig my own fucking grave and just lie there. Then again, that moment was absolutely unnecessary from the rational point of view but I enjoyed it SO much and I felt SO emotional that I don’t give a single shit. THAT WAS AMAZING.

***

After the show and multiple bows (I love these people) it was over. And when you leave, you have to walk up the stage and towards the entrance. May have screamed a little when I saw the set up close, may have taken a blurry selfie (or three). Anyways, I found the stagedoor, I found my friends, I managed to burn my finger on some vile stingy plant all within the scope of 30 minutes, and THEN She came out. And She was the sweetest. As always. I just. Talent aside, I will never get over how genuinely NICE and GOOD Pia is. She took her time to talk to everyone, she posed for pictures, she signed everything and she was very excited about her gifts :”) she is such a good person and I honestly can’t deal with the way she radiates that energy.

I wanted to give her a book of translated Russian poetry as a gift, I’d even wrapped it up in craft paper and stuck a “thank you” sticker on it. I wish the book was thinner but it was the only one I found that had most of my favourite poems lol #priorities. I had A LOT of doubts about it but then again, I’m pretty sure it’s not the weirdest gift she’s ever got. So I finally came up to Pia, said hi, gave her the gift, pointed out the “thank you” sticker and explained that it meant “thank you for your work” (her face was so close holy shit). Honestly, I keep saying sorry and thank you every time I meet her lmao but I’m thankful!!! and I’m sorry!!! and I want her to know that!!! what else am I supposed to do!!!! And I *think* I said something about the show being great and her being great in it, but I’m not sure.

Then she was like “and you’re from...?” “Russia”, I told her, not expecting her to remember anything about me. Then she went “Of course! We’ve met before, right?” “We did, yes” “I was gonna say Russia!” WHAT KIND OF FACE MEMORY DOES SHE HAVE OH MY GOD. Well, probably the selective kind, let’s be real here, but this is still unbelievable. As of August 13 it has been a little over a year since our last brief meeting - a year, three months and 12 days but who’s counting? - and after all this time there was something that made her go "wait, I know her” when she saw me ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ And it’s the SECOND time she remembered me so we’re practically married at this point, right? Right??? I replied with something generic like “oh, you remember me? That’s so nice!” yeah, “nice” indeed :“”“) I will be raving about it forever because I honestly can’t believe it keeps happening to me. What have I done to deserve this? Could it be possible to love this woman more? At that particular moment I thought not, but the evening wasn’t over yet. Then this happened:

Me: thank you 😍 Pia, taking the gift: thank you! Me, distracted by her closeness: thank you 😍 Pia, pointedly: thank you for the gift Me: Oh. You’re welcome. (jesus fucking christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Then she signed my programme and then I almost left without a picture because I was THAT awestruck :’’’’’’’) As we posed, she was standing THIS close to me and she was touching my elbow behind my back all the time we were posing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can see how hard I’m trying to conceal my emotions in the pics because um ??? an actual Goddess is touching my arm right this second???? And then she said she appreciates my coming to see her again ♥ I’m sorry but I’m pretty sure being this precious is illegal, I’m gonna have to alert the authorities. Oh, and I’m tattooing every single generic phrase she said on my forehead.

Then I just hung around for a while and even took a good enough picture of my friends and Pia! My hands weren’t shaking like they always do when I feel Emotions!!! I am truly growing.

After a while the crowd started to dissolve a bit and I spontaneously decided to try and ask if I could give her a hug. Yeah, I know, I don’t recognize myself either. And I did ask her, with countless “I’m so sorry”s and “I understand it might be intrusive”s (her face was so close and she was looking at me so intently i’.m!!! dying!! I was Not Prepared) because making her uncomfortable is my worst nightmare. 

And then

she DEADASS GRABBED THE BARE PART OF MY ARM (my sweater covered my elbow but not my forearm so it was a skin to skin contact with the goddess!!!!! I’m a normal person with a normal life and zero obsessions I swear), looked me in the eye and started explaining why she doesn’t normally do it - because, quote, “then she *nods at someone* would wanna do this, and she would wanna do this and I would be here till 3am”. Somehow my brain didn’t shut down completely: all I could feel was her hand on my arm, but I was actually registering what she was saying and I was even ANSWERING stuff like “that’s totally fine, yes, i understand, everyone would want to do this, that’s absolutely fine, thank you so much”. But she honestly has THE SOFTEST hands, it’s literally like touching a cloud, what kind of magic is this (and what kind of hand cream), I couldn’T COPE. SO SOFT. AND SHE WAS SO CLOSE. HER PERFECT FACE. CLOSE TO MINE. SAYING THINGS. SMILING. I LOVE HER. And it seemed that explaining the reason was very important to her and she wasn’t letting go of my arm the whole time 😭 honey….. you don’t have to explain anything to me…. I’m just happy to be here…. And she was looking me in the eye the whole time too. Anyways, I FINALLY timidly put my other hand on top of hers (!!!!!!!!! living that self-insert fanfic life) and told her it was absolutely fine again while trying very hard to conceal my emotions (hahaha who’s freaking out? not me lmao hahaha lol). I LOVE HER SO MUCH WHAT A GODDESS WHAT AN ICON. Not to be dramatic, but I can still feel her calming touch :”) she may have cured my anxiety or something. And yeah, well, I told her it was absolutely fine and she told me to take care and that was it. 

Did I sound like a complete tit? Certainly. Did I still sound more coherent than the other two times I met her? Absolutely. I’m SO proud of myself. Am I still #shook? You bet! I can’t believe life is this good to me. And I’m still very sad I don’t know when I will see Pia again :/ certainly not next year because it’s my final uni year and I’m gonna be busy as shit, plus all these trips are getting expensive. I hope she doesn’t do anything HUGE next year and saves it for the time I can travel again ~

Oh, by the way, it was pitch black almost the whole time I was walking back to the hotel and I even had to pass by a church graveyard. Fucking T*ckl*nburg.

[killers-kitten]

[vanillatwlght]

a tale about a beautiful nightmare; a time travel

So, last night i dreamt such a beautiful nightmare. Beware! Its genre is a little bit sci-fi and romance.

Tanpa sengaja, aku menemukan sepetak lahan yang tak terpakai di antara dua rumah yang besar dan sebuah tiang listrik raksasa berdiri tegak di tengah lahan tersebut, serta di sana tumbuh rerumputan hijau yang tak pernah terjamah.

Anehnya, ada hal lain yang nantinya akan membuatku terpana, yaitu medan magnet berbentuk lingkaran dengan batu-batu obsidian yang mengelilinginya di lahan itu.

Dari kejauhan memang tak tampak, namun akan terlihat samar-samar dan mengkilap ketika kita mendekatinya. Pun ada suara dengung seperti lebah sehingga siapapun akan sadar bahwa ada yang aneh dari tempat tersebut jika kita memperhatikannya.

Saat itu, aku jalan kaki. Sedang lelah dan tak ada semangat hidup lagi. Jadi aku bermain ke tempat sepi seorang diri. Tempat itu adalah tempat yang pas untuk merenung dan menyendiri.

Aku duduk sambil bersandar pada sisi rumah besar di sana. Iseng-iseng, kuambil batu kecil berwarna hitam mengkilap di hadapanku. Aku melemparnya hingga ke ujung dan mengenai sisi rumah besar yang satunya. 'CTAKKK' bunyinya terdengar keras. Kuambil satu batu lagi dan kulempar sekali lagi. Kuulang sampai tiga kali dan pada lemparan ketiga, tanganku melempar dengan sudut yang berbeda sehingga batu itu melambung ke tempat lain, melewati medan magnet ini.

Berhenti. Batu itu berhenti di tengah medan magnet, melayang-layang dan karena masih belum memahami fenomena itu, aku terpaku dan merinding. Kemudian dengan cepat langit berganti. Siang menjadi malam, lalu siang lagi dan malam lagi. Berkali-kali dan aku tak tahu apa yang terjadi. Langit berhenti berganti dan warnanya menjadi biru kejinggaan. Sudah senja pikirku, jadi aku pergi untuk pulang.

Di tengah perjalanan, aku merasakan ada hal yang ganjil. Jalanan sepi, jarang kendaraan mobil maupun motor dan orang-orang tampak aneh dari gaya rambut hingga pakaian mereka.

Masih dengan rasa bingung yang menghantui, tanpa sengaja aku melihat kalender di sebuah warung. 1998. Gila! Pikirku dalam hati. Dengan penampakan yang tidak lumrah (mengacu pada zamanku) dan penanggalan yang menunjukkan tahun sebelum aku lahir, dengan seluruh kejadian ketika batu melayang dan langit dengan cepat berganti, aku sangat yakin aku sedang melakukan time travel!

Seperti tokoh lainnya yang masih kebingungan saat melakukan time travel untuk pertama kalinya, aku berlari mencari orang tuaku. Perkiraanku, di tahun 1998, mereka masih bekerja bersama di sebuah kantor kecil di kota yang sama dengan tempat aku tinggal.

Aku berlari, takut jika mereka sudah pulang. Tapi apa yang akan aku lakukan selanjutnya? Menghadang mereka? Berkata bahwa aku adalah anak mereka yang datang dari masa depan? Jelas sekali aku akan dicap sebagai orang gila. Tapi aku tak tahu lagi siapa yang harus aku datangi, jadi aku akan melakukan apa saja yang pertama kali muncul di dalam pikiranku.

Sampai di depan kantor mereka, hampir saja aku terlambat. Aku melihat mereka keluar bersama dari kantor dengan gelak tawa yang gembira dan seperti saling menggoda. Aku.. Aku tertegun. Ada rasa hangat yang menyelimuti hatiku ketika melihat mereka berduaan. Entah kenapa, aku merasa sangat merindukan mereka. Aku sangat ingin memeluk mereka. Tapi hatiku bilang jangan. Jadi aku pergi, berharap kelak mereka bahagia.

Aku pergi, kembali ke tempat kejadian dimulainya semua perkara ini. Lahan itu mulai gelap, tak ada orang yang berlalu-lalang. Hanya aku dan sebuah lentera yang menjadi penerang.

Kujelajahi lahan itu pelan-pelan. Aku kemudian mendengar suara dengung yang aneh. Kuikuti suara tersebut dan semakin jelas dengungannya. Di bawah sinar lentera, aku melihat sesuatu yang mengkilap melayang di udara. Seperti sebuah pembatas atau sekat. Kuikuti kilap pembatas itu untuk menemukan ujung akhirnya, namun aku justru mengelilingi lahannya diikuti dengan batu-batu mengkilap yang juga membentuk lingkaran. Ini tampak seperti ruang medan magnet. Tak kusentuh, aku takut jika tanganku tersetrum atau semacamnya.

Tapi, kuambil sebuah dari batu-batu mengkilap yang mengelilinginya. Batu itu hitam dan cantik. Sudah jelas itu adalah obsidian dan aku lempar ke dalam medan magnet itu, sama seperti sebelumnya. Batu itu kembali melayang-layang ketika melewati medan magnet ini! Apakah ini seperti ruang tanpa gravitasi? Aku tak tahu, secara aku tak pintar fisika.

Hal yang sama lainnya adalah langit kembali berganti dengan cepat. Malam menjadi siang dan kemudian kembali menjadi malam. Terus seperti itu, hingga langit berhenti pada siang hari yang terik. Tahun berapa ini? Tanyaku dalam hati. Aku berlari ke jalan besar untuk melihat keadaan dan kulihat orang-orang berpenampilan lebih kuno lagi. Seperti tahun 80-an, kurasa.

Sekarang, aku tak tahu apa yang harus aku lakukan. Aku berjalan tanpa arah hingga pada suatu saat, kulihat seorang wanita cantik berambut panjang duduk di sebuah bangku di pinggir jalan. Aku sangat familiar dengan sosoknya. Ia duduk sambil membaca sebuah buku di pangkuannya. Kudekati dan aku meminta izin untuk duduk di sebelahnya. Ia memperbolehkan. Aku bertanya, buku apa yang sedang ia baca. Sebuah karya sastra, jawabnya. Ia bilang, ia juga sedang menulis buku untuk penelitiannya. Aku ingat dia! Dia adalah dosen kesusastraanku dan dia tampak masih muda!

Bagaimana ia bisa sampai di sini? Heranku dalam hati. Sampai di situ, aku merasa ada hal yang ganjil, tapi aku sangat menikmati berbagi cerita soal sastra dengannya. Aku punya cita-cita kalau suatu saat nanti, aku akan menjadi seorang penggemar dan peneliti karya sastra sepertinya. Mungkin aku juga bisa membuat satu karya sastra. Mungkin lebih.

Aku tak tahu apa ia akan mengingatku, tapi aku sangat berharap dia akan menjadi sukses. Aku berpamitan dan mengharapkan pertemuan kami yang selanjutnya. Lalu ia menjawab, ia tak sabar menunggu hari itu datang. Kemudian aku pergi, berniat kembali ke tempat kejadian dimulainya semua perkara ini.

Betapa terkejutnya aku. Ketika aku sampai di sana, banyak orang yang mengerumuni lahan itu. Mereka dapat melihat ada hal aneh di sana. Mereka menyentuh medan magnet yang berdengung itu dan tangan mereka tersetrum, juga menimbulkan percikan api di udara. Mereka terus mencobanya saking penasarannya mereka dan semakin panik mereka. Untung tak ada yang mencoba untuk melemparkan batu ke dalamnya.

Aku menyelak dan mengambil salah satu batu obsidian di antara kaki-kaki mereka. Untung badanku kecil dan aku tak terlihat karena orang sibuk bertanya-tanya fenomena apakah itu, yang ada di depan mereka. Sambil curi-curi kesempatan, kulemparkan batu obsidian ke dalam medan magnet dan batu itu melayang. Anehnya, langit tak berubah. Semua orang menjadi beku tak bergerak dan berubah menjadi keabu-abuan. Semakin lama, semakin mengabur. Sedangkan medan magnetnya terus mengeluarkan percikan api. Semakin lama, semakin membesar.

Kemudian, langit dengan cepat berubah. Siang menjadi malam, malam menjadi siang. Begitu seterusnya, hingga langit berhenti di malam yang berawan. Lalu sebuah ledakan terjadi. Batu obsidian itu terbang ke segala penjuru arah. Aku? Masih selamat. Hanya terkena beberapa batu tak begitu menyakitkan.

Tak ada lagi suara dengungan, tak ada lagi sekat tak kasat mata yang mengkilap. Semua lenyap.

Tiba-tiba, rintik hujan turun. Tanpa pikir panjang, aku berlari entah kemana. Aku membiarkan hatiku yang membawaku. Lalu aku tahu, aku sudah ada di zamanku tapi agak jauh dengan hari dimana aku memulai time travel-ku. Agak jauh dengan hari dimana aku pertama kali mengenal kamu. Ya, yang selanjutnya adalah cerita tentang kamu.

Aku tahu, kita sudah agak lama berpisah. Sebulan lebih kalau tak salah. Tapi aku masih saja menyayangi keputusan kita untuk menjalani hidup masing-masing. Dan di sini aku, di sini kamu. Di zaman saat kita tak saling mengenal dan tak sengaja bertemu.

Aku terhenti dan tertegun di depan sebuah kafe dengan jendela yang besar, yang menampakkan orang-orang sedang bersenda gurau, kecuali seorang lelaki yang duduk di pojok dan sedang merenung sendiri. Itu kamu.

Aku mengenali orang-orang yang lain. Semua adalah sahabatmu dan salah seorang sahabat kita. Tapi kamu tak ikut dalam percakapan mereka, asik sendiri sambil menikmati hujan , sampai tak sadar ada aku yang sedang memperhatikan.

Kamu masih dengan wajah seorang malaikat yang tampak tenang, lagi-lagi wajah itu membuatku jatuh. Tapi malam itu, aku sangat ingin melihat senyumanmu lagi. Sekali saja, pikirku dalam hati. Mungkin kamu tak akan menampakkan senyum pahitmu karena kamu belum mengenalku.

Jadi, aku masuk ke dalam kafe tersebut dengan sekujur tubuhku yang basah dan mendekati kamu. Kamu mengalihkan pandanganmu padaku, sedikit terbelalak kaget. Mungkin kamu bertanya-tanya, siapa orang asing yang berdiri di hadapanku ini? Sedangkan aku, masih saja dengan senyum lebarku yang bodoh, saking bahagianya aku bertemu denganmu.

Sahabat kita yang juga kaget berusaha untuk mencairkan suasana yang canggung dengan cara menyapaku. Dia bertanya sedang apa aku hujan-hujan. Sedang kata yang keluar dari bibirku hanyalah, "aku tak  apa-apa" dan melihatnya sekilas.

Aku kembali memandangmu dan kata yang keluar dari bibirku hanyalah, "hai..". Kamu menjawab hai, tapi dengan senyum yang canggung. Ya, setidaknya bukan senyum pahit yang menandakan kalau kamu tak ingin bertemu dengan aku lagi.

Aku berniat pergi dan walaupun kita tak berakhir bersama, aku berharap kamu akan bahagia. Kemudian aku mengucapkan salam perpisahan. Salam perpisahan ini yang akan menjadi hal terakhir yang kuucapkan padamu. "Selamat tinggal".

Dengan dibukanya pintu kafe itu, aku keluar dan aku terjaga. Terjaga dari semua mimpi yang tak jelas ini.

Seorang time travel sejati akan terjebak di dalam zaman yang sangat asing baginya jika ia kehilangan mesin waktunya. Tapi aku justru terjebak dalam perasaan ini ketika aku bangun dan sadar itu semua hanya mimpi.

Sekali lagi, aku tak tahu fenomena itu benar soal medan magnet atau bukan. Tentang ruang hampa atau bukan. Tapi dari itu semua, aku bahagia bisa melakukan perjalanan waktu walau hanya sekedar mimpi.

[weaselsmuses-aa]

12th times the charm.

Its time to play it again.

[whoinwhoville]

♡ Hi! This is our last question for the BOTM ;-( I had so much fun asking you all those questions ;-) So : 1) Tell us about one of your favorite Doctor/Rose AUs? 2) Do you have a favorite DW OT3 you don't mind seeing in fics? 3) Is there a DW character you love to see suffer when reading a fic? Thank you so much, take care! ♡

Done already???? Awwwww I’ve had so much fun! I don’t want this month to be over! Thank you @thedalektables and @julibellule!

1) Tell us about one of your favorite Doctor/Rose AUs?

I have been thinking about this question off and on for hours. This is SUCH a hard one. I adore AUs. ADORE. And there are just too many that I love: royal AUs, movie AUs, dystopian AUs, fantasy, coffee shop, human, university, single parents, teachers, work, neighbors… Here are a few of my favorites, though:

Keeper of the Light by pls210 Nine x Rose “Wales, 1918 -  The war to end all wars is over, but no one has escaped untouched, and twenty-year-old Rose Tyler quickly realizes that the life she always wanted no longer fits.  When Doctor John Smith takes the job as Bardsey Island’s lighthouse keeper, Rose soon finds their friendship blossoming into something more.  But not all scars are visible, and the war continues for some, threatening health and happiness.”

This story reminds me of a Masterpiece Theater or BBC period piece. It’s beautifully crafted. I can see the costumes. Feel the salt air on face. Smell the fish.

Roman Holiday by @bittie752 Ten x Rose“[B]ased on the Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck movie Roman Holiday.  The Doctor, the prince of Gallifrey, is feeling overwhelmed by the burdens of his duty so he runs away.  Thankfully, he is found by Rose Tyler, the Vitex heiress, who knows just how he feels.”

Bittie has written several movie AUs. I had to pick just one. I love all of them equally, including A Fair Rose, and The Cutting Edge. I love the humor, life, and lightheartedness of this one, though.

Happily Ever After Isn’t Just a Fairy Tale by @kelkat9 Ten x Rose“One long-haired*, unmarried, disillusioned king meets a young lady who enchants him and maybe helps him think that all of life is not mired in politics and social-climbing courtiers.”

*this may or may not have been inspired by a certain Scottish actor’s extensions. And it is fun, fun, fun! You get some BAMF Rose, too.

Song of the Mirror Maker by tenandi (Teaspoon) Ten x Rose“Rose is living on Pete’s World when she is summoned by the Doctor’s voice.  Following the sound, she arrives at Bad Wolf Bay and is transported to the Mirrorverse, where the Doctor is known as the Overlord and his version of her is dead.  Something’s moving in the darkness, and the Nightmare Child will rise. Can Rose save the Doctor from what’s to come?  An epic fantasy AU.”

Holy moley, this story is epic. The worldbuilding is astounding.

As the Sun Will Rise by @helplesslynerdy (and series)Rose Tyler is sent to Scotland to live in a mysterious house during the London Blitz. Loosely based on Beauty and the Beast.

Beautifully written. Wistful. Historic. Glorious take on Beauty & the Beast. I love it so much. I mean really, really love it.

The Red Herring Husband by @deathlyfandoms (justbygrace on AO3)Decoy Bride AU. Ten is the local who feels stuck on the island. I love the movie. I love this story. It is just so much fun and lighthearted.

2) Do you have a favorite DW OT3 you don’t mind seeing in fics?

I don’t read romantic OT3, but I enjoy OT3 as in friends, or “Team Tardis”. Nine x Rose and Jack are obviously fantastic. But Ten x Rose with Donna is great, and there aren’t enough of those.

3) Is there a DW character you love to see suffer when reading a fic?

She Who Must Not Be Named. Starts with an R ends with an E. I’m not ashamed to admit it, either. Does that make me a bad person? That I don’t mind seeing her suffer? But only if she is the evil B in an AU. Otherwise, I don’t make a habit of reading canon-type fics with her as a main character.

Now if you are talking about whump, I’m not really into it. However, a good hurt/comfort fic is always enjoyable.

So that’s me, everyone! I hope through my three interviews you have found some stories that you hadn’t read, and discovered some authors with whom you weren’t familiar.

Take a chance on reading someone you haven’t read before. Go over to Teaspoon. Use the search engine (advanced) and find something old. You might really come up with a winner!

Hugs and Kisses from Who!

[mxrigen]

Greek Gods Aesthetics

Tagged by: @altherei​ @hand-of-malediction​

Tagging: um Ase? @thewolfraven​

APHRODITE: laughter-loving, sweet smiles, dressed in silk and satin, flower in their hair, sees the world as a runway, unapologetically sexual, the sea washing their ankles, in love with love, stirrer of passion, cunning concealed by painted lips, secret daggers, doves, revolution in their kiss, delighting in the waves, flirtatious winks, strolling along the beach, staring wistfully from a balcony, this is how to be a heartbreaker, wants to be adored, gets turned on by danger.

APOLLO:  glitz and glamour, art galleries, turning the volume up, being made of gold, neatly-organized music sheets, notebooks filled with poetry, bathing in the sunlight, the powerful urge to create, collecting vinyl records, beautiful cover of Wonderwall, playing multiple instruments, tasting like sunshine, healing touch, speaking in prophecies, smile mingled with wrath, shunning lies, sporting shades, hanging out at music festivals with their friends, sleeps naked, arrow to the heart, paint brushes, probably has a Tinder account

ARES: armed for battle, wants to raise a dog with their significant other (or cat, someday), soft spot for children, gives piggyback rides, scarred body, blood on their hands and face, willing to fight the world for the ones they love, fights against injustice, warm hugs, well-worn combat boots, boxing gloves, bandages wrapped around bruised knuckles, fist raised in protest, ignites revolutions, fear is a prison, more sensitive than what their tough shell would have you think, exhausted, damaged goods, force to be reckoned with, red roses, curses under their breath.

ARTEMIS:  keen sense of a hunter, freckles like constellations on their skin, piercing eyes, disheveled braid, moonlight peeking through the shadows, the calm of the forest at night, lying on the grass and staring at the stars, mother doe and her fawn, protecting their kin, the moon shimmering on a still lake, quiver full of arrows resting against the bark of a tree, running with wolves, bonding while circled around a campfire, not being much of a people person, arrow hitting a target, popping egos, patience on 3%, touches heaven and returns howling

ATHENA: discerning gaze, unreadable face, quiet museums, owl perched on their finger, armor that intimidates, eye for architecture, plays the sims for the sole purpose of building houses, studied the blade(magic) while everyone else was busy getting laid, big fan of logic, loves brain teasers, ancient buildings, sweaters in neutrals and cool colors, hair done up, can kill you with their brain, heads to the library often to research, sharpened pencils, abs that can cut steel, stoic statues, pottery classes

DEMETER: soil-covered hands, smile that can bloom flowers, skin loved by the sun, being the mom-friend, can lift you and your friends, flowers kept in the pockets of overalls, takes pride in their beautiful garden, speaks to their plants, leaves rustling in the wind, stalks of wheat, picking fruit, greenhouses, heart as strong as a mountain, values simplicity, daisies dotted across a collarbone, curls crowned with flowers, folded pile of sweaters in warm hues, pulling out fresh-baked bread out of the oven and the smell wafting through the air

DIONYSUS: drunk shitposter, on their sixth glass of wine before you’ve even finished your second, seductive smirks, untamed curls, rich fabrics on dark skin, sleek-furred panthers, theater masks, stage productions, receiving a standing ovation, rose caught between their teeth, being the baby of the bunch, wild parties that last from sundown to sunup, creeping vines, inspiring loyalty, grand opera houses, masquerade balls, rolls of film, shattered chandeliers with broken glass scattered across the wine-spilled floor, pouring champagne into flutes, lives for the applause

HEPHAESTUS: the calloused hands of someone who knows labour, sweaty brow, flame burning in their eyes, inventive mind, broad shoulders, steampunk goggles, nuts and bolts stored away in little boxes, ashes, striking a match, blueprints for future projects, fixing up a busted up car and giving it cool upgrades, wrestles with bitterness, work boots have seen better years, wrinkled plaid shirts, iron melted in blazing fire, huge jackets, crafting masterpieces, greased-stained overalls, fascination with robotics, pain is fuel, stack of weaponry, even their muscles have muscles

HERA: resting bitch face, dressed to the nines, cows grazing on a pasture, cool rain, loving and hating fiercely, hand clutching a string of pearls, large chandelier with glittering crystals, plays the sims for the sole purpose of killing off their sims, romance to realism, pictures of the sky while flying on a plane, files that under fuck it, downs glasses of wine as they relax with a scented bubble bath and netflix, like their selfie or you’re grounded, knows 57 convenient ways to murder a man, dark eyes that penetrate your soul, marble and gold

HERMES:  devil-may-care smile, always up-to-date on the latest technology, will steal your french fries, does it for the vine, shitposter, puts googly eyes on everything, meme hoarder, long drives on the highway, ma and pop diners, spontaneous road trips, folded maps, fingers dancing across the keyboard of a laptop, shooting hoops on the basketball court, chatting up strangers as you all journey to your own destinations, goes jogging in the morning, mixes redbull with coffee, menace on april fool’s, hoodies and sneakers

POSEIDON: storm with skin, colorful coral reefs, waves crashing against the shore, stroking the soft fur of a cat, their heart pounding as their horse’s gentle trot speeds into a gallop, tousled locks, clothes smeared with paint, owns several sketchbooks yet always yearns to own more, leather jackets, fondness for diy projects, handwriting that flows across the page, nimble fingers playing the strings of a violin (harp), velvety singing voice that haunts your dreams, mood as ever-changing as the sea, the roar of a motorcycle, compass with a spinning arrow

ZEUS: thunder in their heart, running on coffee, flash of lightning, natural charisma, eloquence, badass in a nice suit, aficionado of history, force of nature, lenny face ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), nightmare-filled nights, proud arm around their lover’s waist, high-rise buildings, planes soaring through a cloudless sky, technician on the piano, maintains order, strong handshake, juggling multiple events on their busy schedule with ease, expensive watch

[killers-kitten]

Musing through memories, losing my grip in the grey. Numbing the senses, I feel you slipping away.