#bean the cannibal

[sarkylittlemonster]

Rewatching Helluva Boss and ik you love reaction images so here's some screenshots of Crimson when Fizz starts singing in bullshit Italian bc it made me laugh

"Tf is this guy saying??"

LMAOO

I love to hate Crimson sm <3

[sarkylittlemonster]

If you cut me up and looked into my heart you would find a corridor, filled with different coloured doors, if you opened the third blue door on the left there would be an empty room with a piece of paper on the floor, if you picked up the paper it would be doodled with flowers and stars in the margins and if you read the words in the middle of the page it would say your height. So yes, I did remember :)

@beanthebugboi

[sarkylittlemonster]

Eating a banana in your honor o7 (only one tho, because I'm not some lunatic who eats like a dozen bananas in one sitting)

I'm not a lunatic, you're just not embracing life <3

[sarkylittlemonster]

I just watched Beetlejuice! It was.. weird. I liked it :)

Yayy, I'm glad you liked it :D

I just watched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice on Saturday and got the entire theatre to ourselves ¬-¬ It was brilliant, just as good as the first movie

[sarkylittlemonster]

What would happen if we just dumped bean into a vat of hydrochloric acid? Surely she would unlock their powers then?

One would think, but sadly too much hydrochloric acid does a villain make :( their powers would be too great, surpassing his conscience and morals, we would then have a big problemo on our hands :( it would take like, years of rehabilitation to school her hyena powers down to a superhero level. However, I do get where you're coming from :)

@forest-fairy-wren @beanthebugboi @monarchofthequeerpotatoes

[lecoindecachou]

I've seen people say the Finetime folks are gonna die in the wilderness, which, sure, but actually the end of this episode reminded me of what I've read about the Donner Party being so racist that they'd rather literally eat each other than accept the help Native Americans were trying to give them so my money's on a quick descent into cannibalism.

[dibbzzepozzum009]

[makothedorito]

(Updated) crk ocs if they were in BAAU

baau belongs to @cuppajj its amazing go check it out

Vanilla Swirl Cookie Blackbane Cookie: Guardian of Memory Beast of Secrecy, also known as the Blightmother

"ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves, false saint."

Little is known on the status of Blackbane Cookie, the most ruthless of the neobeasts. She seems to spend most of her time dwelling in the thickest reaches of what was once known as the Faerie Kingdom of Thorns, and now known as the Blightwoods; a hostile forest teeming with Cookiesnaps, Venus Crumbtraps, and all sorts of Cookie-eating flora slowly spreading across Beast-Yeast. We think. All our research parties that enter never return.

Additionally, there have been a recent spike of Faerie Cookie disappearances, all of which have had at least some ties to the Kingdom of Thorns. Rumour has it that these cookies were transformed into savage beasts on their own volition, capable of ripping a cookie to crumbs. Lets hope, no pray that its just a rumour though...

Cheese Cinder Cookie Volcanic Cheese Cookie: Guardian of Growth Beast of Hunger, also known as The Great Devourer

yes that is a ninjago ref

Having joined forces with Celestial Cheese Cookie, Volcanic Cheese Cookie has become a furnace powering Celestial Cheese Cookie's conquest. but like all furnaces, he needs to consume, and consume he does, getting stronger every time he sets something ablaze. But occasional shows of strength to instill fear into the common people is not enough. He needs more. MORE. MORE. And what better way to get fuel than to become a method of execution for those refusing to submit? The crispier the better! No matter what or even if it leaves a stain on his conscience, he must do what it takes to survive.

Crystallized Raspberry Cookie: Guardian of Courage Beast of Fear, Dragonberry Gladiator Champion and respected general.

A general with an Iron Fist (literally. its where her spirit jelly is housed), Crystallized Raspberry Cookie is the very model of a proper commander and executioner under Dragonberry Cookie. Having unfortunately grown a bit of a sadistic side under the neobeast, Crystallized Raspberry Cookie has taken delight being thrown into whatever match is going on in the arena, instilling a terror into the combatants and a thrill in the audience.

Bitter Bean Cookie: Guardian of Honor, Last Guardian, and White Dragon Knight.

last seen outside the gates of Frigid Cacao's Black Citadel right before the dissappearance of the strawberry jam sword, Bitter Bean Cookie supposedly now carries the burden of preventing Strawberry Jam Cookie from wreaking havoc all over earthbread (well... more havoc than what has already been wreaked) as the singular trail of tracks quickly lost to the snow lead him to the most silent region of beast-yeast in preparation of what to do next, trying to stay strong in the face of Strawberry Jam Cookie's temptations of revenge, power, and sometimes even relief.

Strawberry Jam Cookie: Beast of Hatred, Spirit of the Strawberry Jam Chocoblade, First Fallen.

for goodness sake let me take the suffering from you /ref

Still stuck in the damn sword. at least he's now a travelling companion to bitter bean, attempting to distract him with words of revenge, apathy, etc. but to no avail, Bitter Bean Cookie's always been a stick in the mud. Phooey.

might make this an actual fic?

[sarkylittlemonster]

THIS IS MY HIPPO

Had to paint Moo Deng!! I love her so much

[bleuzombie]

@deancashorrorfest presents…

Survivalism

Artist: @basketcasebetty

Authur: @bleuzombie

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 14k

Warnings/Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Cannibalism, Animal Death, Eating Live Animals, Blood and Gore, Human Experimentation, Physical Assault, Minor Character Death, Killing a Fan Favorite, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Summary: Genetic engineers Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester are on the verge of a breakthrough in cancer treatment and possibly even a cure, using genetic manipulation and incredibly, shark DNA.

Following a devastating diagnosis of brain cancer, and amid growing pressure from his boss, Dick Roman, for results, Castiel is pushed to an act of desperation. He tests the cure on himself with disastrous and violent results.

He has never been so hungry.

Take a Bite on AO3

Feast Your Eyes Right Here

Dig in to the rest of the offerings from the DeanCas Horrorfest

[smalltimidbean]

I do not taste like beans

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

You mentioned once that Eg has both polecat and dart frog DNA, right? That implies that other clones can have more than one type of animal mixed with them. Thinking of the possibilities is exciting :)

(That is correct! Now it is time for 'Bean talks about clone OCs again!!!' (Also Bean is not a scientist, and we are using cartoon logic, so do not come at them for inaccuracy!!!)

In the most simple of terms, there are three groups that clones can be classified into! (Well, four, but we'll get into that)

The first group is clones with just a single species of animal (or plant!) spliced into their DNA, with examples being Spud (Star-Nosed Mole) and Mirtillo (Common Vampire Bat)

These guys are probably second most common! Giving clones specific traits without the risk of mixing DNAs and causing the clone to explode or something

The second group is clones with more than one set of DNA, but those animals are all the same species, ie Vitelotte having only spider DNA (Jumping Spider, Wolf Spider, Tarantula etc (side note, no specific subspecies bc there are so many spiders I do not have the spoons to look through them all and pick some out kjfdsjf)), and Mint Chip having shark DNA (Tiger Shark and Thresher Shark)

These guys are probably the most common type as they (the scientists) were giving clones specific traits from animals like the singular DNA clones, but also did not want to be limited if one type of species could do something another couldn't

And then Eg falls into the third group of having more than one set of DNA from different animals! As mentioned, she has Striped Polecat (aka African Skunk or Zorilla) and Blue Poison Dart Frog DNA! Another example, bc I need to have two examples, is BB, who is a mix of Boer Goat, African Lion, Ball Python, and King Cobra!

This group is the rarest out of the three, bc mashing together DNAs like that often resulted in failure, but that does not mean they are few and far between!

And last, but not least, special cases!!! This is the group Pep falls into, even tho he should technically be in the third group, he is packed with so many different kinds of DNA, he is very much an outlier here

And there are a few other outliers, who would also technically be in one of the previous groups, but what makes them different is that they were not purposely spliced with certain DNAs, and were the result of cross-breeding (two (or more) different clones with different DNAs making a baby), or cannibalism (eating another clone and absorbing their set(s) of DNA)

[sarkylittlemonster]

B-but our lord and saviour :0

Rushes! God of the rushes, I like that :D

here's a random word generator--whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of

[astarab1aze]

➥ Shipping Guide: Section 1 - Faith, Furie, Hydre, Kaede, and Loux

Note: All of my muses are complicated and not necessarily rigid adherents to what I'm outlining in this post. Much of the time, they'll be relatively easy to do things with given that a lot of them can manage their work/life balance and/or emotions well enough for them not to impede on any romantic interests (mostly). That being said, however, they are not without their caveats as several of them have the potential to be incredibly toxic by nature, or depending on the plot, and - inevitably - your muses will get swept up in their bullshit if they stick around. It's long, but in alphabetical order and informative, so it should be helpful as a guide when deciding on who to ship with (if that's what you're looking for).

Faith M, 28, chaotic good, cat-shifter, male, homosexual, soft power bottom

high libido, won't be with someone who won't have sex with him often enough

still needs someone to remind them he is worth more than that sometimes

will tend to your every need and ignore his own, from eating to laundry to sex

sunk cost fallacy's himself into staying in toxic/bad situations

focuses exclusively on the person he's with when he's with them

faith is not a difficult person to like, let alone love, usually. he's genuine and sweet and won't hesitate to tease or dote on his partners, smother them in softest affections and maybe a few more climaxes than they know what to do with. he's so so attentive, tender and loving in everything he does for them, often without question. moreover, he quite easily falls in love - easily impressed, easily wooed - but make no mistake, if his trust is broken at any time, it's literally impossible to earn back. knowing this about himself, he chooses never to trust in the first place, which is naturally much easier said than done; even the barest of minimums, something he's not and never has been used to, are enough to tip the scale. his perception of love and romance is almost entirely informed by the life he's lived, and trashy erotic romance novels, so it's distorted, commodified, and still in need of a little work.

i don't want to understate the need for understanding, patience, and affirmation with him. this is incredibly important to him; he wants to be loved and respected, but his perceptions of all of that are behind, so he doesn't really know, quite, what this means. it's important to be careful with him at times, though he isn't so breakable as he used to be.

he tends toward big personalities, mean, mischievous, friendly, powerful, all kinds - just, big ones. eccentricity, if you will, but also the darkness and light he sees in that. he likes complicated people, people that take him, at the same time, no time at all and all the time in the world to figure out, a challenge. he has a variety of physical and sexual preferences that are a bit more vast and nebulous, so appearances do not usually matter to him - it's 95% of the time personality and natural chemistry. he isn't so shallow as to hinge is affections on someone's looks, generally always finding his partners attractive. redheads, brunettes, blonds, salt & pepper, silver fox, hairy, short, big, small, older, Monster, human, etcetc doesn't matter. it's just how he is.

sexually speaking, he is sometimes inordinantly pushy, though this is rooted in insecurity, negative self-esteem, and hints of both jealousy and the territorial behaviors common in shifters. but aside from this, he aims only to please and be pleased, to tangle himself in another person for hours and love, love, love. he's flexible in terms of what exactly happens, rough, gentle, or otherwise, and typically won't complain should a more dominant partner up the ante; but he is, for the most part, very vocal and insistent on what he wants, how he wants to be touched, where it's okay to touch him - very noisy, about this and when his partner's doing a good job. in this vein, he's very loving and attentive as well, and very, very prone to teasing his partners for eternity then giving oral sex. just be aware.

Furie N, 26, neutral good, werewyrm, male, bisexual, soft switch

absolutely not receptive to romantic advances...for a time

proximity, quality time, and a little boundary pushing are key

he will probably never make the first move, otherwise sorta traditional

low & slow sex drive, self-conscious of his anthromorphic parts

anxious, self-sacrificing, opportunistic, stoic, devoted, protective, bashful

furie doesn't have too many preferences aside from being more interested in women than men. ultimately, it's not very important what the gender of his partner is, though there are certain aspects he's attracted to, it just depends on the person: soft, angular, muscular, slender, dark hair, light hair, moral ambiguity, etc. he's not necessarily drawn to anything specific, sort of repressed, suppressing his hopes and desires for the sake of his beliefs - which he has felt less and less connected to over time, despite being an important member of the clergy. he's complicated and somewhat contradictory, less forgiving than he expects others to be, distrustful, opportunistic, and unreasonably cold; protective measures, keeping people at distance so as not to drag anymore people into his mess and end up getting them hurt or worse. it's next to impossible to sway him, so what he needs above all is prolonged proximity and persisitence.

he can be incredibly cold at the start, distant and unfriendly, even rude, and may even do anything he can to avoid a prospective partner, but with time, he slowly but surely becomes very protective in his own ways, and will develop a bit of separation anxiety when the other isn't around. wouldn't go so far as to say he's clingy, but their absence will be felt. constancy is the surest way to provoke a response like this from him, to slowly tangle into and influence his life, change his mind on some things, open him up. and in return, he is fiercely protective, the sort to endlessly pine and establish daily shared habits; unfortunately, there are other obstacles that may impede any progress with him, as he is terrified that by finding new love he will be replacing his ex-fiance, who was tragically killed. this plays a much larger part than you'd think, but we're not here for that.

in terms of sex, he is somewhat traditional and requires the good old fashioned foreplay most of the time in order to really enjoy it. that being said, he tends to tease his partners for hours and will go so far as to edge them, deny them release, and generally build a lot of tension before persuing climax. whatever makes it more intense and fulfilling for both parties. on the other hand, he can be...surprisingly receptive, and honest. open to what his partners want, and what they want to do to him of have him do to them. facing each other is a must for him, handholding too. and a respect for his space & autonomy - no means no, and he can and will revoke his consent if he feels too overwhelmed. however, there are occasions he will only encourage -ahem- bad behavior, if you catch his drift. it's okay to take advantage of him sometimes, depending on who his partner is.

Hydre B, ??, true neutral, divine hydra, male, bisexual, (service) dom

cannot and will not mate with anyone that can permanently die

needs partner to be just as cannibalistic & masochistic as he is

extraordinarily subtle with romance despite his gestures

partners will become visible parts of his constellation

opportunistic, gluttinous, loving in incomprehensible ways, lazy, violent, greedy

hydre's a bit of a can of worms unto himself and is very particular about the sorts of partners he's willing to romance and be romanced by. he will not waste any time trying to woo any humans or mortals, period. there are no exceptions - prospective partners must be divine or some flavor incapable of true death, because much of his affection and love is inherently starved, consumptive. he will literally eat his partners, it's sort of non-negotiable. the reason for this is that he wants to be as close to them as is physically, magically, and emotionally possible, sharing in blood, flesh, and other carnal activities in order to make this explicitly clear. he wants to eat and be eaten, to feel his beloved running through his veins, for them to feel him, and to sort of stew in the mess they create together. simmer in blood, guts, and gore, and heal, snap back into shape as if nothing had ever happened to begin with, and then doing it all over again. or, on occasion, he's just happy to hold his partner in his mouth, a bit like a dog would an egg.

he doesn't really have a 'type' beyond this - as long as his prospective partner is physically capable of handling him, then he's ultimately satisfied. truly, it comes down to whether he can be handled. he doesn't need to be worshipped, praised, prayed to, or anything of the sort - he just needs to be withstood, weathered. earning his affections is a slow process and he won't easily give them up, but when he does, his partners still may not readily know what it is he really feels for them. for this reason, he tends toward intellectual types, those who can parse his gestures and unspoken thoughts for what they are. traveling to places only he has the power to take them, conjuring their heart's desires, showing them grand sights and his home, before it was destroyed, gathering them into his arms and adding them into his constellation- he's sweet, in his own, dramatic nightfolky way, despite his proclivities toward cannibalizing his partners.

Kaede S, 26, chaotic good, sorcerer, male, bisexual, bratty/soft sub

mentally & emotionally hard to manage due to responses to trauma

willing to put up with abuses of all kinds just to feel loved for a moment

mostly resistent to romantic advances, occasionally very receptive

mid-high sex drive, won't be with anyone that won't have sex with him often

affectionate, monogamous, overprotective, reactive, tsundere

kaede is somewhat difficult to romance despite how... open he sometimes is to prospective partners' advances. he isn't above one-night stands or paying for sex, generally tending toward non-committal relationships to prevent distraction from his work - even though genuine long-lasting love is something he desperately wants. his life is dangerous and he doesn't want to unnecessarily drag anyone into his mess, especially given the non-zero chance he could be killed at any time and therefore end up getting his partner hurt as well. he isolates himself to protect others, however naive and self-harming this actually is. so it's difficult to get him to relent long enough for anything to really happen. that being said, it's not always this way and there are times he's very easy to convince. there's no special reason, it would only depend on his mood at the time. but in such cases, he's bashful and cutely enthusiastic, interested and present, hoping for more but not expecting it or even necessarily trying for it (but not saying no to anything either).

he does have particular tastes and is unashamedly shallow about them - if privately so - preferring those with blonde, silver, or white hair and light eyes, toned and maintained physiques, and strength of character with a dash of amorality for flavor. he gravitates toward people who are strong and bright in personality, those who can understand why he is the way he is, trauma and all, who are patient and persevering. he wants to be loved by someone who can meet him at his level and love him despite all the trouble he finds himself in or the frequency with which he disappears. consider him a sort of house cat who went outside once and hasn't been able to return home since. he needs to be properly courted, perhaps even in a traditional sense, and trust is of utmost importance to him. exceptions to this exist however and it's not entirely unlikely for him to have relationships with toxic people, as has been the case before and is something that should be treated with care. he still has some extreme responses to things due to prior traumas, though they are few and far between of late and not super likely to manifest until children aer involved (much anxiety here, he becomes something of a panicky, overprotective helicopter mom).

he's flexible in terms of sexual intimacy, given that he can be rather kinky and accepting of boundary-pushing experiences, masochism, among other things. he's somewhat prone to riding and performing oral, taking charge and throwing some attitude a lot of the time, though he's really mostly a complete pillow prince outside of that. what he wants most is to be shown love that mirrors his own, intense, sweet, and genuine. he wants to be loved, to spend his days with his partners rolling around in bed, ignoring the twist and turn of the world around them. he craves intimacy, comfort, acceptance, someone willing to put in the work to love him. he's receptive to charm and wit, silly jokes and thoughtfulness, and is the type to bring flowers with him to every date as a gift. he will share all his drinks and snacks, and generally seek to touch his partners in some way. he is also earnest and fairly stubborn if he's fallen for someone, sometimes a bit obsessive but most times just- wanting to be with his partners because they're not going to hurt him like everything and everyone else (hopefully).

Loux G, 28, chaotic neutral, fox-shifter, male, bisexual, service switch

needs someone with high libido, no exceptions

the best boyfriend you'll ever have, also the worst person you'll ever know

will probably lie about himself to his partners, forever

changes himself to suit his partners' tastes, depending on the relationship

aims for the 'boring' life, won't change current trajectory for anything less

loux is naturally incredibly flirtatious with just about everyone he meets, so it's not difficult to get something started with him since he's so flexible. he doesn't really have a type per se, but he gravitates toward people with strong personalities and a litany of similar baggage to his own, barring some occasional romances with the mousy 'good girl/boy' types, bears, and dwarves. he likes people who are true to themselves, no matter what kind of people they are, and will seek them out. the only thing he doesn't really like is when prospective partners do certain things or ask certain questions about him that aren't easy for him to answer; prying into his past is sometimes a surefire way to lose him, especially early on, as it isn't something he's comfortable with talking about in any capacity. this doesn't mean he won't ever share - it means he needs time. likewise, he doesn't expect his partners to share every detail about themselves with him and generally won't ask either. not because he doesn't care, but because he sorta kinda feels he already knows the answer, so he chooses instead to comfort them in all the ways he knows how rather than risk bringing them any further distress. this doesn't always work, but it's his preferred approach.

as a boyfriend, loux is honestly one of the best anyone could have. he's attentive, playful, and willing to do anything to prove he loves his partners. he's not afraid of making himself look a complete fool just to get a laugh out of his partners, or to break the law by making use of his magical abilities to show them new sights and take them away to someplace unique and wonderful, or to shower his partners with grand and special expensive gifts, or to pretend to be ignorant or stupid about certain subjects so his partners can be handy or school him. but he's terrible with voicing his feelings, utterly incapable of bringing himself to be selfish in this way. for all his confidence, he's emotionally fragile in strange and complicated ways, sometimes impossible to understand or be careful enough with; partners won't always know right off when they've upset or hurt him, they're sort of the only people who can avoid his more extreme emotions. he just won't express them around them, or will avoid doing so at all costs on a subconscious level. his love is incredibly stubborn however; by no means is it flimsy or easy to break. he is persistent and patient, and does put in real concerted effort to better himself for his partners.

he is also, as we all know, hypersexual on top of an already high libido. trauma related or not ultimately doesn't matter, as the fact remains: he greatly enjoys sex and cannot directly or properly communicate his true feelings, finding it to be good enough middle ground for reciprocal expressions of love. that's what it means to him, to have sex with his partners. i love you, in the intensity of his touch. it's hard to think so, at first, given that such a proclivity toward physical intimacy could come across as shallow and smarmy, but this is how he knows best to show his partners he loves them deeply without having to say it out loud. he attends to every need and will alter the shape and state of his body to suit any fantasy his partners could have, always giving, servicing them. tenderly, roughly, needily, slowly, whatever, doesn't matter. whatever his partners want, he's happy to give. all the time, quite literally. it's not just sex, but physical touch in general he uses to communicate. constantly just touching his partners is both for comfort and a means of reinforcing what he admits through sex; holding hands, running his fingers through their hair, keeping a hand on their hip, ass, thigh, or back, cuddling, hugging, kissing, so on and so forth are musts. he wants to touch his partners all the time, forever, and won't compromise on this.

[sarkylittlemonster]

Good news, I'm surprisingly alert and functional given that I've just hit a new record for how little sleep I can get in one night :D

*sad clapping*

[dryinkpens]

fanart for @laazytoaster ‘s iz cookie run au ☆

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speedpaint ⇣