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#be wet be pathetic
communistmeme · 1 year
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If you, as a man, aren't at least A LITTLE wet and pathetic, you'll never escape the dms
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artkaninchenbau · 9 months
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Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)
It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.
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Bonus:
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satoruxx · 3 months
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normally toji prides himself on being the perfect guard dog—not that he would ever tell you that. but you never have to worry about guys coming up to you when your hulking monster of a boyfriend remains at your side, continuously glaring down his nose at everyone he sees.
this usually works pretty well.
on adults.
but now, as you and him wait in line at the counter of the grocery store, he can only let out a huff of irritation as he watches the little brat in front of you both stare over his mother’s shoulder—big wide eyes locked on you.
at first you don’t really notice, too busy blabbering about something silly as you look around the store. but when you finally lock eyes with the child, you notice the way he seems to go shy, pressing his cheek deeper into his mom’s shoulder. his eyes flick away from your face for just a second, before timidly looking back. as soon as he does, you break into the sweetest, most giddy smile.
(toji would move mountains for a glimpse of that smile—and yet here this kid is just getting it without a shred of work.)
you tilt your head, raising a hand to gently wave at the boy, who flushes further under your attention, but lifts his cheek a little more. chubby fingers come up to meekly wave back, and you hold back a silent coo of affection, eyes filled with honey-like sweetness. with every little giggle and silly face you make at the boy, he seems to get more and more comfortable—toji watches you melt.
the unlucky little brat then quickly peeks at the giant man looming beside you, and toji can’t resist. his face pulls into a evil smile, teeth on full display as he wiggles his fingers sinisterly. the expression has its desired effect—the kid recoils, eyes going wide before burying his face into his mother’s neck. in a few minutes, the boy and his mom are heading out the store and you and toji start loading the groceries onto the belt.
“i saw that, you know?”
toji glances up, seeing your semi disapproving frown, and he cocks his head in faux innocence. “saw what?”
“you’re mean,” you shake your head, crossing your arms. “scaring little kids like that. quite literally the object of their nightmares.”
“ah, he’ll be alright,” toji grunts, taking the bags from the cashier in one hand and reaching for your palm with the other. “it’ll build his character.”
you snort. “he’ll have trauma.”
“like i said,” he grins, a canine display. “character.”
you roll your eyes as he tugs you out of the store—your grip on him unwilling to falter.
toji lives just like this, successful in scaring off any other person who considers giving you attention, whether that’s an adult or a little kid. and despite your exasperated complaints to at least lay off the children (they’re harmless), toji has known for a long time that he can be nothing but selfish when it comes to you.
so forgive him, if he quickly turns to this evil little tactic to scare away kids—it’s all he can really do. besides, it always works.
until now.
you’re sitting under a tree at a small park, working on some dumb assignment for one of your lectures. toji lays on his back next to you, arm draped over his eyes in a momentary respite from the normal danger of his life—eerily content.
the peace is broken by the rustling of tiny footsteps in the grass.
“here you go.”
toji pulls his arm away to peer at the owner of the voice. a boy stands there, hair tousled as he waits in front of you with his arm outstretched—in between his chubby fingers is a singular dandelion.
your eyes widen, cheeks splitting into a wide smile as you coo out your affection. “aw for me?”
the boy nods mutely, cheeks flushed as he thrusts the flower further into your view. you delicately pluck it from his hands, inhaling the fragrance with a grateful smile. “well thank you. it’s beautiful.”
he shyly kicks at a spot of grass, lips pulling up into a giddy smile under your sweet praise. “just like you,” he mumbles under his breath and you squeal softly, giggling at how adorable this kid truly is.
toji sits up before you can say anything else, lips pulled into a displeased frown as he crosses his bulky arms across his chest. “hey.” his voice comes out low and tense, even as he stares down his nose at the boy. “what are you doing?”
you turn to look at your boyfriend, at the exaggerated sneer that normally works wonders in scaring kids away, and you hold back an exasperated sigh. “toji—“
“who are you?” the boy frowns, sass appearing out of thin air as he looks toji up and down like he’s nothing but dirt under his colorful sneakers. you gape at him, eyes darting back and forth between the two as a smile threatens to make its way into your face. toji’s lips part in surprise, a tingle of heat crawling up his neck as he hears your hushed gasp of held back laughter.
“her boyfriend,” he grunts back, eyes narrowed in a way that’s oddly similar to the expression on the kid’s face.
“no way!” the boy huffs, pouting indignantly. his cheeks flush as he glares at toji—unfazed.
“uh, yes way.” toji realizes how petty he sounds, but he’s adamant—unwilling to stand down in anything that involves you.
the boy crosses his arms, mirroring toji’s pose. he rolls his eyes emphatically, lip curling as he sneers down his nose.
“isn’t she too pretty for you?” he asks bluntly. you smother another disbelieving gasp, and toji suddenly feels an unfamiliar thrill rush through his veins—this kid had guts.
“what do you know, brat?” there’s a smirk evident in toji’s voice now, and he uncrosses his arms to lean back on his palms, eyes shining with feral mirth.
“i have eyes,” the boy snaps back, putting both hands on his hips to appear more intimidating—it doesn’t work, he just looks cuter. “i can see her.”
“well quit it,” toji huffs in return. “not yours to look at.”
the kid narrows his eyes. “you’re mean!”
“and you’re nosy!”
“how am i nosy?”
“you’re comin’ over here and givin’ my girl flowers!”
“she deserves flowers!”
“of course she does! from me, you little brat!”
“you suck, old man!”
“what did you just call me?!”
a shout from across the park disrupts the heated bickering, and you all turn to see an older woman waving the boy over. he looks down at you, a sweet smile washing over his face as he tilts his head innocently. “that’s my mom. i have to go home now.”
“heh, sure thing. get home safe, okay?” you shoot toji an amused glance as you speak, and he sends a displeased glare back as he stubbornly crosses his arms again.
the boy nods, beaming at you. “okay! see you later!” he chirps. but just as he’s about to leave he turns back, eyes fixated on toji. “i hope your boyfriend learns how to be nice!”
and then he runs off.
you snort out another laugh, which only gets louder when you catch a glimpse of the way toji is practically sulking in the corner—scowling at the kid’s back with narrowed eyes.
the whole thing is so unbelievably endearing, and you can’t stop grinning as you pack up your things and stand up.
“let’s go home, toji.” you hold your palm out for him, and you’re rewarded with a pointed glance—he takes your hand anyway. even as you both exit the park, toji has an unamused pout on his face, glaring ahead.
you can’t resist.
“don’t tell me you actually feel threatened now,” you giggle, grabbing his bicep and pressing close. toji glances at you from the corner of his eyes, unamused—which only seems to make you laugh harder. “oh come on! he was so cute!”
“little brat,” he grumbles in return. “couldn’t take a hint.”
“you’re mad because the eight year old kid at the park didn’t want to believe you were my boyfriend?”
“the fuck do you think? of course i am. what do i look like if not your fucking boyfriend?”
you chortle, practically falling on him with the weight of your amusement. he sighs, disgruntled.
“it’s not funny, kid.” toji rolls his eyes at you—internally, he’s trying not to grin.
“it’s so funny, toji.” you straighten up, smiling at him with stars in your eyes. “you’re ridiculous and it’s so cute.”
he scoffs, giving you a sidelong glance before reaching up to tug at your cheek. “i’m definitely not the cute one.” he murmurs offhandedly before internally smirking at the way you seem to be caught off guard by his statement.
“whatever,” you mumble, holding his arm as you both continue walking home in relative silence. from the corner of your eye you can see toji’s expression as he mutely stares ahead, deep in thought. you decide not to disturb him, content on just feeling his warmth bleeding into your palm—always at your side.
toji replays the incident in his head multiple times as you head home. the bickering, the sass, and the unfiltered adoration that little brat seemed to have for you.
something clicks.
as you’re pushing open the door of your apartment, you hear toji quietly chuckle from behind you, and you turn to look at him over you shoulder. “what?”
he shakes his head slowly, eyes shut even as an uncharacteristically soft smile tugs at his lips. “just thinking…”
“about what?” you ask curiously.
toji grins at you, cocking his head fondly. “when we have a kid, i want the little brat to be just like that.”
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sadfishkid · 8 months
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green slime be upon ye
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isabellaofparma · 4 months
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characters created in a lab for tumblr specifically (affectionate)
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the-holy-ghosted · 1 year
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Girls will say "this is my beautiful wife" and their beautiful wife is just a weird looking man
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fraternum-momentum · 6 months
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babe, wake up, new white guy just dropped
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gorgynei · 1 year
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stereotypical werewolf/vampire duo except its like this
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proxycrit · 8 months
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Some miscellaneous pokemon doodles! They are some truly inspired creatures.
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soupdwelling · 29 days
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like what does this even mean i’m just imagining it flopping around on the ground like a limp fish
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dykealloy · 10 months
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god's favourite ragdoll princess and the most miserable girl in the world
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danidoodels · 3 months
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the comic actually made me like reading canon! Jason again
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bengaly · 5 months
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wettest, soppiest rat
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fallenneziah · 1 year
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Thinking about Zombie!Ghost's body changing so his cock swells and knots when breeding to ensure impregnation to carry on the infected species.
Zombie!Ghost who ends up with his cock buried deep inside you for what feels like forever, semen filling your guts.
Zombie!Ghost attempting to get away from you for a minute but when realizing he's locked in is intent on snuggling you and loving on you.
Zombie!Ghost who is now committed to breeding nothing else and constantly wants to try and breed infected with you. Always sad when it doesn't work.
Zombie!Ghost who wants to kiss you while snuggling you, acting as his warm cock sleeve.
Zombie!Ghost whose instincts tell him to breed when he's anxious so he'll always be trying to hump you or get close. Making sad noises from his broken maw while trying to get any kind of friction with you.
Zombie!Ghost who does act a bit pathetic in his need to breed and having you so close, so ready for him. Especially through certain cycles on your journey with him he cannot keep his hands off you for anything.
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buckera · 2 months
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EVAN BUCKLEY + close-up 25/?
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spielzeugkaiser · 6 months
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I come back for a hot second (and go into hiding pretty much right again) with some redrawn screencaps of what I'm watching currently!! 👀 All I have in me are the sillies-
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