#be ready for madness cause it is here and I am embracing it

[biteinsane]

Didn't have the best year but I got quite a few more things done than I thought.

On to next year.

[6ix9inewiturmom]

The Scare- Chris Sturniolo

Summary: you end up having one of the biggest pregnancy scares of your life while chris is in boston

Warnings: Cursing, Crying, use of Y/N, talks of sex, taking a pregnancy test

A/n: may be tmi but lowkey relate to this so this was easy to write LMFAOO, ENJOY

PSA: DO NOT USE MY WORK FOR “inspiration” OR ANYTHING ELSE!!

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Chris has been in Boston for the last 2 weeks, and he's finally coming home. I decided to shower and shave before he came home because that man is the most sexually active 20-year-old I've ever met, the Facetime sex at 3 am for him isn't nearly enough to satisfy both of our needs.

After my hour-long shower, I'm digging through my shared bathroom with Chris in an attempt to find my body lotion to prevent my dry ass skin in this heat when I find my box of tampons, which got me thinking I haven't had a period in a while and Chris and I aren't the safest people when it comes to sex because neither of us can even remember to put a condom on, it always fucks up my mood.

“Shit,” I say to my self.

Chris and I are only 20 and with his career there's no fucking way in HELL we can have a kid or even raise a kid, I am nowhere near ready to raise an actual child.

I open my Flo app and see the little circle that's normally red is grey ‘1 week late’

“Shit shit shit,” I say out loud again, panicking.

I can't keep it from him, he's gonna see the pregnancy test in the trash. Would he be mad if I kept it from him? Should I just tell him? Should I go to Tara?

After about 30 minutes of standing in the bathroom looking at the message in my phone, panicking about what to do, I just decided I was gonna tell Chris, he loves me, and we've talked about having kids way later in life anyway, he couldn't be mad.

I finally built up the courage and got dressed in a pair of tight ripped jeans and a baby tee, with some Converse, and sat on the couch waiting for Chris to come home going through Tiktok and whatever else was on my phone.

“BABY IM HOME” Chris yells from the stairs

I squeal in excitement as I spot Chris and run towards him. Jumping into his arms, he effortlessly lifts me, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist.

“Umm Y/N there are other people here too you know? Also, Chris get out of the fucking way so we can fucking put our shit down” Nick says in annoyance.

“Well hello to you too Nick,” I say jumping out of Chris’ arms moving out of the doorway, and letting Matt and Nick come inside the house.

“Sorry babes, we've all been up since about 6 am Boston time trying to catch our flight we almost missed because your fucking boyfriend wouldn't get the hell out of bed” Nick replies sending me a soft smile and giving me a soft hug.

“To be fair none of us went to bed at a decent time, mom was making sure we had everything packed so we didn't leave anything behind” matt defends.

“Thank you, Matt, now Y/N do you wanna take a nap? I know we were gonna go out to dinner but I'm very fucking jet lagged and kinda just want to order dinner and watch movies with you” Chris wraps his arms around my waist nuzzling his head between my neck as my hands rest on his shoulders.

“Thats fine with me i don't mind” i pull away from his embrace and smile at him.

Chris grabs his luggage and my hand and guides me to our shared bedroom. As we enter the room he seats his luggage down and plops on the bed letting out a groan of frustration.

“I have missed this damn bed, don't ask me how I slept in that bed at my mom's house for god knows how long because this one is so much more comfortable,” Chris says adjusting the way he's laying to rest his head down on the pillows. “Now after 2 weeks of no sex and just my right hand, I'm gonna need to fuck the ever-loving shit out of you” he smirks at me patting his lap and signaling me to sit on it.

“Yeah so about that” give him an awkward smile “So I didn't know how to approach this to you, 'cause you know we're not the most responsible sexually active humans” I start babbling getting nervous of his reaction based on the puzzled look on his face.

“Y/N what the hell are you getting at? cause if you don’t wanna have sex with me right now that’s fine just say that, but considering our last facetime call the constant ‘oh chris i need your cock’ was really misleading to me” he says with a puzzled faced.

“Chris i’m late” i breathe out.

“late for what? did we have reservations for dinner? did you have something for work?” he says with frustration in his voice.

“No Chris my period, I'm late, my period is LATE, I'm 1 week late today,” I say aggressively from his lack of acknowledgement.

“wait we haven’t had sex in 2 weeks? i’m confused” he sits up moving to the edge of the bed.

“last time we had sex i was ovulating, remember when i told you like a while ago that if im ovulating means im FERTILE?” i say in frustration.

“Fuck” he runs his fingers through his hair “Did you take a test? Do you know for sure that you are pregnant?” he questions

“No, and no, I didn't wanna take a test without you, and I for SURE didn't wanna hide it from you,” I say softly sitting next to him on the bed.

“So why the hell are you freaking out now? You don't know for sure that you are” he asks placing his head in his hands.

“Because you and I are nowhere near ready for a fucking kid Chris, your career, and my inability to even fucking care for myself some days, yeah there's no fucking way I can care for a child who can't even speak on its emotions, Chris” I stand up out of frustration and start pacing.

I can tell Chris obviously got upset with my statement about our ability to care for a child but i was stressed and honestly wasn't thinking.

"I want you to know that I care about you deeply, Y/N. If you are indeed pregnant, please know that I will do everything in my power to support you and our child. Even if it means giving up my career, I will do it willingly. Let's go get a pregnancy test and we can talk about everything else later, okay? I am here for you, and I will always be." he says, his voice filled with empathy and understanding as he gently cups my cheeks in his hands, rubbing them softly up and down and warm smile spreads across his face.

As our eyes meet, a warm smile spreads across his face and I can't help but return it. He takes my hand in his and gently guides me towards the living room, his grip firm yet gentle. The coolness of his skin against mine sends shivers down my spine.

“Girl, were you guys arguing? Normally after we come home from Boston it's all ‘Oh Chris more, more’ typically a traumatic event” Nick says mocking me with a smile plastered across his face.

“Y/N and I are running to CVS so well be back in a little,” Chris says walking him and me down the stairs and to my car.

The drive to CVS was filled with a bunch of conversations and laughter, talking about if I was pregnant how we would raise our child, and Chris talking about the dad jokes he's gonna have, and considering he's a triplet he carries the genetic that I'm probably gonna twins or triplets.

“How many of these things do we need? What brand is best? why are there so many options?” Chris says holding 3 boxes of pregnancy tests and struggling to figure out which one to pick “fuck it why don't we buy all of them and use one pack tonight then we'll have the extra on hand in case our irresponsibility gets the best of us” he continues.

Chris and I walked up to the front counter and dropped the boxes of tests. The worker behind the counter took a look at the tests and then looked back at us, giving us a fake smile. After ringing up the purchase, we made our way to my car.

“So do you think you are pregnant?” Chris says breaking the silence.

“I mean normally my cycles are normal and a week late is not normal at all but it could be my hormones changing or something, but I do wanna make sure,” I say glancing at Chris nervously biting his nails.

“You were right about how irresponsible we are with our sex lives but when we first started fucking we knew the risk of everything and I mean our kids would be pretty cute,” he says placing his hand on my leg and rubbing a small circle with his thumb.

Chris and I pulled up into the driveway. As we got out of the car, he held my hand tightly and carried the CVS bag in the other hand as we made our way into the house and up the staircase.

“did you get any snacks?” Nick says eating a bowl of popcorn on the couch with Matt watching the most random movie on Netflix.

“Uhm no I just got a couple of personal things” I say nervously holding up the bag and sending a warm smile to Nick.

Chris and I pretty much B lined to the bathroom, anxiously “So which one do we use?” Chris says looking down at the boxes.

“Just give me the one that says Clearblue” i say softly laughing as Chris opens the box for me and inspects it before handing me the little stick.

“Do you want me to hold the stick while you piss? I'm sorry I have no idea how these things work” he says laughing allowing his back to slide down the wall and sit with his back against the shower door.

“Chris it's fine i know how to use these, believe me my friends in highschool weren't the most responsible either” I say laughing beginning to pee on the little white and blue stick.

“So how long do we wait?” Chris says helping me take a seat on the floor next to him.

“5 minutes” I breathe out setting a 5-minute timer on my phone and leaning my head against the shower door.

As we sat in the bathroom, waiting for the pregnancy test to show its result, the silence felt palpable. It wasn't an awkward silence, but rather a deafening one that seemed to fill the entire room. With just the two of us present, we anxiously waited for the five minutes to pass.

“Would it be a bad thing if I wanted it to be positive?” Chris chuckles.

“I wouldn't necessarily say a bad thing, there's a part of me that kind of wants it to be positive too” i smile back at Chris.

The alarm on my phone quickly broke the once-loving moment sending us into a panic. Chris and I stand up walking to the counter.

“Wait should we film it in case you are then we could always have it if you could be pregnant?” Chris’ gaze softens as he looks at me.

“Chris not the time” I softly laugh out.

“Right,” he nods smiling back at me. “WAIT” he grabs my hand “Whatever happens, I love you,” he says in a serious tone.

With a warm smile, I gaze lovingly at him and reciprocate his affectionate words, "I love you too Christopher." However, my attention is quickly drawn towards the counter where the pregnancy test lays face down, taunting my nerves. With trembling hands, I muster up the courage to pick it up and slowly turn it around to face me, my heart pounding in anticipation of the result.

‘Not Pregnant’

“YES, MORE CREAMPIES” Chris shrieks wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up, and spinning me around as I giggle out of excitement.

He carefully seats me down back flat on my feet. Our moment was quickly interrupted by both Nick and Matt barging through the door.

“ARE YOU GUYS- wait is that a pregnancy test? Y/N ARE YOU PREGNANT?” Nick yelled as Matt's eyes widened at the little blue stick in my hands.

“Please for the love of god, I don't want a little Chris running around, or two, or even three” Matt places his hand on his forehead.

“No she is not” Chris chuckles at the boys’ comment.

“THANK YOU,” matt and nick say in unison.

“Wrap it before you tap it next time Chris,” Nick says walking away and back to the living room.

“Now I'll say it again, after 2 weeks of Facetime sex I would like to absolutely fuck your brains out” Chris says smirking down at me.

“Please do” I smile as he picks me up gripping the backs of my thighs as my legs wrap around his waist leading me to the bedroom.

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A/N pt 2: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THISSSSSS AND TYSM TO @cosmicmistake42069 FOR THIS INSPIRATION!!

[twola]

Defying Conventions II

Arthur Morgan x F!Reader Smut (18+), MDNI, A/B/O

➵ Fic Masterlist ➵ AO3 Link ➵ Previous Please be warned -cw: omegaverse, breeding kink, impregnation, pregnant sex, graphic birth. If those things bother you, then this is not the fic for you.

I feel like I am taking a big risk with this one. As someone who has recently gone through childbirth, it is definitely a traumatic thing, even when things go well. I write as a coping mechanism for trauma - so here it is.

It’s all going to shit.

Hosea. Lenny. Dead. John just busted out of Sisika. The bank robbery in Lemoyne gone completely south - and being marooned on that godforsaken island.

Not to mention Dutch and his behavior. Seems like Micah is in the man’s ear more than anyone else nowadays.

Beaver Hollow is miserable - damp, in these dark, dusty hills of Roanoke. It's stifling, the misery this place exudes.

“Arthur-” 

Arthur whips around, ready to snap at yet another person asking him to do something-

It’s you. Your cheeks are the slightest bit flushed. His hackles settle, temper calmed by the nearness of his other half.

“What d’ya need, darlin’?” He smiles as he raises his hand to welcome you into an embrace.

You don’t move, causing him to frown.

“I… uhm, I-” You stumble slightly, your hand unconsciously moving to your neck, where you have pinned a shawl to cover your skin.

Realization dawns on him, and a low, dull ache begins to burn in his gut.

“Y’ sayin’ we need to get away for a few days?”

You sheepishly shake your head, cheeks flushed. His smile returns and he takes the step to move closer. He wraps his arms around you, clutching you to him. You sigh and melt into his strong embrace.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble into his chest, shuddering slightly as you can feel your heat closing in on you. Tomorrow you’d be a blithering mess.

Arthur presses his lips to your forehead.

“Reckon that’s the best thing anyone’s asked me to do in a while.”

“You ain’t mad?” You look up at him, incredulous.

“Am I mad about my mate askin’ me to get away from this shithole for a few days and spend the hours ruttin’ away?” 

“I just hate being so… needy. Dumb omega shit.” You sigh, burying your head in his chest again. 

Arthur sighs knowingly, then grins as he pulls the shawl down to expose your neck and immediately buries his head against your clammy skin.

You yelp in surprise and arousal as you feel his tongue press against your mating gland - it’s a good thing that he has one arm strong around your waist, or else you would be stumbling to the ground.

Arthur groans quietly, squeezing you gently. “I’m yer alpha. Y’know what I need? I need to satisfy you.”

You try to push him back, afraid that you’re going to go into heat standing here in the middle of camp as he nuzzles at your neck. Alas, your lover is built like a brick wall, and it is only after quite a bit of fidgeting and you trying to yank your shawl back up that he takes the hint.

“Annesburg? Or d’ya want to go further?” He drawls as you try to collect yourself. 

You scowl up at him, “After that, we’ll need to go to Annesburg. Now.”

Arthur smirks, his eyes hidden under the rim of that old gambler’s hat. “Say less, darlin’ girl. Say less.” 

-

It’s a miracle that you can stand upright, there in the gunsmith’s shop as Arthur leans on the counter. While he had been in the foulest of moods earlier in the day, he’d found a second wind the moment you told him you needed him - suddenly acting full alpha - cocky and possessive and hell-bent on getting you desperate for him.

Christ, the whole ride down from Beaver Hollow was near excruciating - Arthur having dragged you onto the saddle in front of him, pressed against him completely, instead of pulling you up on his horse’s rump. Leaning over every so often and nipping at your neck. Groping your breast after passing another rider on the road. By the time the two of you had ridden into the dusty mine town, the flush that had dusted your cheeks before extended down your neck and chest.

“One room. ‘nd here’s extra to not bother us for a few days.”

The poor gunsmith blanches, completely understanding the threatening tone in Arthur’s voice. He nods, handing the alpha a key, muttering directions to the room, in the building next to the shop.

Arthur smirks, turning around and grabbing your arm, guiding you quickly to the room. Punching the key into the lock, he opens the door and watches as you stumble inside. A rumble, all alpha, punches out of his chest as you wipe at your brow, leaning against the wardrobe in the room.

“I’m just gonna get the horse straight. Be back in a minute.” Arthur calls back as he steps out of the room, leaving you to pant wearily as you survey the room that you’re going to lock the two of you in for the next couple of days.

You whine as you paw at the shawl hiding your neck, finally unlatching it and throwing it unceremoniously to the floor. Feverishly unbuttoning your blouse, you pull your arms out of it and toss it aside as well. You’re yanking the straps of your chemise down your arms and baring your breasts as Arthur re-enters the room. Your chemise hangs around your waist as your hands cup your breasts, your breath coming in short, fast pants.

“Need it that bad, omega?” Arthur purrs, pushing your hands away from your chest and placing his own atop your breasts, squeezing gently as you moan.

“Don’t - don’t be cruel- I’m…shit, I’m in heat.” You gasp out as his thumb traces over your nipple. Your knees shake as your hands grasp at him, and you feel your bloomers dampen as your slick begins to come.

One of Arthur’s hands moves from your breast to your waist and immediately starts yanking at your skirts, loosening the waist and pushing them down, along with your bloomers, to pool on the floor at your ankles, leaving you completely bare.

“I’ve got you, darlin’ girl,” Arthur grasps one of your hands and presses it against his massive erection in his pants, and you mewl desperately, craving the way he fills you.

“Go on, get on the bed.” He nods to you and you shakily follow his order, laying down on the bed and opening your legs, rubbing at your throbbing core, watching as your alpha undresses himself. Jacket and work shirt, denim and union suit, they are all shed as you watch, touching yourself all the while.

He goes to climb into the bed with you as you catch a glimpse of his eyes - the faintest red rim around those blue pools.

You groan, a pained cry from your chest, and he stops immediately. Your heat has fully set in, and your body jolts in furious need. You sit up rapidly, trying to gain some semblance of control over yourself.

“I.. you… you begin to rut, there’s a chance-” you suck in a breath against the cramping pain, “I’ll take.”

Arthur hovers over you. “Is that what you want?”

A pained gasp is all you can reply.

“It hurts-” you moan, crumbling forward in the bed, clutching at your lower abdomen. Arthur’s large, warm hands find your sides immediately and gently push you to lay fully on your stomach.

“Hands and knees, let me take care of you.”

You breathe heavily, labored, through your mouth, your fever making you weak. You let him maneuver you however he wants, having lost the strength to do anything else. Your limbs are drawn under you, and your head presses heavily into the old pillow. He positions himself behind you, grabbing your hips and hoisting them up. You moan throatily into that pillow as he takes one hand to stroke his cock into full rigidity.

Before he presses inside, it hits you. You push up on your elbows and he stops, rubbing your lower back. You breathe out against another cramp that shudders through your body. “You… you’re gonna…”

All of the hotheadedness of being an alpha vanishes.

“Honey we don’t have to - it’s what you want.”

You swallow. He’s in position to mount you, the most base and primal of ways to slake this biological need. The complete and utter submission of an omega to their alpha.  Some say it’s an old wives tale, but omegas know - they are taught very early on, that being mounted was supposedly the best way to breed - the surest way to conceive a child. That if they were caught out in the world by an alpha, to fight like hell to not be mounted.

“What do you want, Arthur?”

He leans over you and you feel his lips on your shoulder as one of his hands gently grasps the crest of your hip.

“I wanna spend my days wit’ you.”

“That don’t answer the question.” You suck in another breath against the pain.

He pets your cunt gently, making you shiver as his knuckle parts your folds. “I’ll be happy either way. If you wanna spend our days ridin’ as partners or raisin’ children - I’ll be there as your mate.”

“And… and if I want…?” You gasp out against the pain, your slick starting to run down his knuckle all the way to his wrist, “If I want to have your child?”

He groans loudly and removes his hand from your cunt, immediately smearing your slick all over his cock and he pumps it vigorously. His opposite hand clamps hard on your hip, yanking you up to align with his swaying pelvis.

“Omega-” he growls, all predator, with the blunt head of his cock pressed against the seam of you, probing against the rim of your cunt, raring to plunge into your body, “I’ll breed you right, girl.”

His voice is rough, his tone warning. Another sway of his hips and his cockhead slips in, you do your part and press your hips back to take him, to urge him forward. You moan throatily into the pillow as he presses inside - somehow his cock feels bigger, thicker in this position than at any other time. 

“Fuck, darlin’.” Arthur curses when he’s fully sheathed inside you, hands strong on your hips. On his knees behind you, he guides you on and off of his cock as he thrusts his hips in tandem. The bed squeaks with the movement of your bodies. You clench the pillow hard as your lover picks up the pace, fucking into you frantically.

With each powerful thrust of him into you, you feel his knot start to grow, stretching you with a pain that you crave. If you were able to turn around and look up at him, you’d see his eyes rimmed in red. But you could tell, with the way his hands clamp on your hips, the hardness of his cock - you know he’s gone into rut.

He slows, breathing heavily through his nose, reminiscent of a beast of burden.

“Darlin’-” his voice is rough and thick with arousal, “Last chance, omega. D’ya want me to put a baby in you?”

You shudder, hissing at the finality of his implication as you feel the trickle down your neck from your mating gland of that sweet, pheromone-filled oil. 

“Yes.” You whine, “Yes, Arthur, let me - give me, ngh-” you throw your hips backward to spear yourself on his hard cock, “Breed me.”

“Fuck-” Arthur groans, and almost immediately, his knot swells, stretching the rim of your cunt as he locks himself into you. You whine against the pain-pleasure of it all.

Here you are, on your hands and knees, alpha mounting you, waiting for him to breed you - oh, what a place to be in - what a situation you thought you would never be in. Arthur quickly leans over you, plastering his chest over your back, his strong arms caging you in on either side of your own. It’s terrifyingly intimate as he breathes loudly through his nose, nipping at the gland on your neck.

The world slows. 

“I love you,” he rumbles into your ear, and gives one more thrust into you, knot keeping him snugly in your cunt, “I love you - I love you -” He babbles before sucking one final breath in.

Every nerve of yours is alight. You’ve never felt so in tune with your body. For one final instant, you shiver, your womb ready to accept. One final cramp of need, lower than ever, and you know it is the way your body sings for your mate. Your heart stops. Your cunt clenches at Arthur’s cock, as if it were begging for him the same way you shamelessly are.

Splayed over you, his lips quickly find your gland and he sucks, you gasp, and then you can feel it - deep in your body, you feel the warmth of his seed, his cock pulsing in your cunt as he fills you. 

The sound he makes is beautiful, a moan that transcends physical need. No, this was more. This was your mate, this was breeding, this was the pinnacle of what you were born for. This was creation. The swell of emotion overflows as tears burst from your eyes. You let out a crooning moan of your own as you take him, you take all of him, every pulse of him into your womb. 

The moment seems to last forever. Heaving, panting, groaning, Arthur empties himself into you, locked at the hilt, your body shaking at the sheer implication of it all. For once in your life, your omegahood was not a curse. Your alpha, bent over you, mounted and pumping his hot spend into you.

Arthur gasps like a fish out of water once he’s done. The roaring of your heart in your chest seems to overpower everything. You sob loudly and he immediately sobers and moves the two of you to lay on your sides on the bed, still locked at the hips. He brushes back a lock of your hair, “Honey, are you alri-?”

“I love you,” you cry out, taking his hand and pulling it to your breast, over your heart. “Arthur I love you, I need you - you’re everything-”

He settles in behind you, his knot still locked strong within your body.

“Honey darlin’ girl…” You can feel him smile into your hair, “Mate.”

All of the fierceness, the rough possession, it all has faded as Arthur gently nuzzles the back of your head.  You pull his hand down to your belly, right to the cradle of your hips, to splay out over your womb. “Our child - Arthur.”

He presses against your hot skin, arms wrapped tightly around you, and the next thing you know, that overwhelming warmth shoots through your cunt again as he breathes out heavily.

“Gonna make sure I give you one.” He groans, voice rough as he shallowly pumps his hips against your rear, another round of spend coating your insides.

You mewl, accepting him, rolling your hips as you make another noise of desperation.

“Y‘okay?” He asks, his arm tightening around you.

You whine, wiggling your hips, testing the strength of his knot. He growls in your ear, one of his hands shooting down to your cunt and forcing your legs apart and the other wound under your ribcage, engulfing and squeezing one of your breasts.

Arthur sucks in a breath and nuzzles the back of your neck. His hips jut forward once again, and his cock swells within you.

“Got one last one in me - gonna, gonna g-give you-“

Your entire body quivers in anticipation, and you grab Arthur’s hand from your breast and spread it over your lower belly, holding your hand over his. Over where you will grow and create and swell with child, his child.

“Give me a baby, Arthur-”

Arthur grunts, cock pulsing, and you mewl as you feel the bleeding warmness of him exit his body and enter yours. Gentle waves of him, dripping down and over his knot, smearing across both his and your thighs. A physical sign that he’s filled your cunt to the brim with his seed.

Finally, as the two of you breathe heavily from near-exhaustion, Arthur’s knot recedes enough that he is able to pull himself from you. Arthur slides himself from your body gently, and you whine as his inches leave you. He leans over you and kisses your temple. “I’ll get us some food. Get some rest.”

You turn over in the bed to face him, rubbing gently at your belly. You smile, mischievously.

“I like you mountin’ me.”

Arthur scowls at you, “Jesus Christ, you can’t just say that. We’ll never leave this bed if you keep acting like that.”

You simply smile, leaning in and taking his lips with yours, throwing your leg over his hip, preventing him from leaving the sanctity of the bed. One of his hands rounds your hip to cup your ass.

Shivering slightly, you involuntarily clench as you feel another trickle of his essence leak from your cunt. You look down between you, Arthur’s eyes following yours. You unwind your leg from his hip and turn to lie on your back. 

Your dark hair has lovely drips of white coursing through it, and Arthur groans quietly when he sees it. He reaches, collecting that viscous rivulet on his finger, and you watch intently as he looks back at you, raising his brow as he trails his finger through your thatch of hair.

He lovingly, gently presses it back in, and you whine with oversensitivity at the feeling of his thick trigger finger slipping through the sore rim of your cunt. Arthur takes your lips with his, smothering your complaint.

After several moments, he extracts his hand, leaning back on his elbow. He nuzzles against your neck, the now-faded ring left by his teeth those weeks ago.  “When will you know if you took?”

You shrug, “I guess when my heat ends. Never really paid attention much to them omega lessons…What happens now?”

Arthur rolls onto his back, stretching himself out in the bed, looking up at the moisture-stained ceiling of the rented room. “Things are endin’ with the gang. As much as it kills me to say it…”

You move closer to him, laying your head upon his chest. “And us…?”

“You’re my mate. You’re hopefully carrying my child. Ain't gonna make the mistakes I’ve made in the past.”

You fiddle with a strand of your long, messy hair. “I know we’re mates and all but…” you trail off, eyes trained on the strand of hair instead of him.

“Let’s get Swanson to marry us,” Arthur says, winding his arm around you again.

A smile blooms across your face and you immediately sit up and kiss him, hard, dragging him back down to the bed.

You awaken the next day in the mid-morning, when the sun is already high in the sky.  Arthur’s already up, sitting on the side of the bed, half-dressed. He looks back at you as you stretch your arms overhead. Yawning, you run your hands down your body to rest at the cradle of your hips.

A warmth blooms under your hand. You don’t know how to explain it, but you’re sure you took.

His large hand covers yours.

“Thinkin’ so?”

You nod, looking back at him, unable to stop yourself from smiling. You push yourself up and crash into his embrace.

“But you know, can never be too sure.” You giggle.

A spark of amusement shoots through those river-blue eyes of his.

“Get on your knees, omega. Let’s make sure.”

-

Months Later…

“Absolutely not.”

You frown, pouting reminiscent of a petulant child. You have to stop yourself from stomping your foot on the old wooden floor.

“Ain’t no way in hell am I mountin’ you when you're this close to giving birth.” Arthur scowls at you, looking you up and down with a set jaw and exasperated tone.

“C’monnn…” You tease, taking your hands and running them down your ribcage to highlight your quite large belly under the fabric of your dress.

“No. Christ, it’s hard enough not to go into rut when you’re just sleeping next to me.” Arthur shakes his head, turning away from you, trying to distract himself.

“Gentle?” You wind your way around him, your hand tracing up his back.

“Woman….” He gives a warning tone, but you can tell that you are wearing him down.

“Please, alpha.” You press yourself against him suggestively, taking one of his hands and placing it over the swell of your belly, “You need to take care of your omega.”

His fingers pulse over your skin, and with a sigh, he gives in, “I ain’t knotting you, no matter how much you beg. Christ, I shouldn’t even be entertainin’ this.”

With a giggle, your fingers fly to where his suspenders are fastened to his black work pants, and before he can even react, you have one unclipped. He snatches your hands away from his waist and holds them up above your head.

“You are the most troublesome-”

You lean up on your and kiss him, effectively silencing his retort. When you pull away, you smile up at him, and he cannot help but give the smallest smile back.

“Like I was sayin’, troublesome. C’mon now, get in bed.” Arthur playfully swats at your hip as you grab his hand, pulling him toward the bedroom.

The small cabin could use some updating - but for the soon-to-be three of you, the small homestead tucked away in the hills of Ambarino is exactly what you never knew you needed. A small bedroom, a bed tucked over in the corner, a fireplace, and an old, beaten-up dresser - for all the time you’d spent running, sleeping in tents and on bedrolls - having a home with your husband was something you’d never think you’d have.

As you reach the bed, he stops you and spins you around, holding you upright all the while. Arthur leans down and presses his lips against yours, one hand pulling at your dress, gathering up the skirts, bunching them up, raising them up, up to your hips. With an awkward shimmy with your belly hanging low, your bloomers pool to the floor with a quick tug from Arthur’s fingers.

“C’mon - lay down,” Arthur taps your hip and motions to the bed.

You raise your eyebrows as he undoes his other suspender, about to comment on how dressed the two of you still are.

“No-” he warns, “You take everythin’ off and I’m definitely knotting you. And we aren’t doin’ that.”

You’re about to complain again but are cut off as he pushes you, gently, down onto the bed before shoving his pants and short drawers down his saddle-hewn thighs.

At that sight, you quickly lay down, rolling onto your side as you hike your skirts up to bare your cunt.

“Thought so, troublesome.” Arthur jokes as he slides himself into bed behind you, the skin of his pelvis and cock warm against your rear. 

It takes some awkward maneuvering - everything is awkward when you are this far gone, but finally, he slowly presses himself into you, and you sigh in contentment.

It’s everything he is not to slam his hips into you, to knot you, to claim claim claim. But he needs to be soft, to be gentle, to be careful. 

You moan appreciatively when he gives a shallow pulse of his hips. The sheath of your body feels like a live wire - primed and ready to snap at any time. The pace he finds is slow, but full and heady. You mewl, your body shuddering as you come, and Arthur is forced to pull himself from you and wrap his hand around his cock, hissing as he feels his knot expand around nothing.

You struggle to turn yourself over, but finally do so and wrap your hand around his knot, joining his hand around that swollen base of him. He unclenches his jaw and looks down at you as you squeeze at him, moving your fingers from his hard knot up his shaft, and downward again.

“Sweetheart you don’t-” he grits out as you begin to pump him.

“Hush-” you interrupt as you lay your head upon his chest, twisting your hand around him as you stroke up and down. It doesn’t take long for him to find his own end. Arthur growls, thrusting his hips upward as he comes, spurting white out of the head of his cock over both of your hands.

After catching his breath, he kisses the crown of your head, “You okay?”

You look up and smile at him, satiated.

-

Arthur tosses the last of the firewood he’d been chopping all afternoon in the pile under the overhang, wiping the sweat from his brow as he lays the ax against the outside of the cabin. Grabbing the carbine that he had been cleaning earlier, he shoulders it as he pushes through the front door.

“Darl-”

The bedroom door is closed. Warily, he grabs the door handle and slowly opens it. Arthur stops completely, eyes widening as he scans the room. The whole atmosphere has changed from even this morning, and he slides the carbine from his shoulder and props it against the wall. 

It’s dark, the curtains drawn against the midafternoon sun. Before his eyes adjust to the darkness, he can just barely make out your form, leaning against the mantle, your head on your forearms.

He closes the door again, recreating the safety of the nest. He realizes that’s what it is only after shutting the door. A nest. 

“Is it-?”

You nod as pain rips through you and you groan, clutching your belly. Arthur is on you in an instant, holding you upright. 

Immediately, a fierce agitation in his blood sings. Protect, protect, protect.

You breathe out heavily through your nose as you stand up to full height again. “C’n you make a fire? I need… I need-”

“Anythin’, darlin’. Here, how about you sit down-”

“No, no I need to walk.”

For the next hours, you pace back and forth in the room, wincing every so often, one hand supporting your belly. You’ve kicked your shoes off, and Arthur has as well, sitting in a chair next to the fire, knee bouncing as he watches you intently. The warmth of the room is nearly suffocating to him, but he would never dream of asking to open the window or put out the fire. He simply rolls up the sleeves of his faded blue work shirt.

You suck in a pained breath and a groan echoes through the room as you double over, trying to assuage the overwhelming feeling in your hips.

“I- I think it’s time… h-help me get undressed and onto the bed.”

Arthur nods, stepping closer to you and reaching for the laces of your dress, pulling them apart and helping you step out of the fabric. He continues, solemnly, pushing the straps of your chemise down your shoulders. Gently, your chemise falls away, your bloomers puddle at your feet. Arthur’s blood is on fire as he can see the rivulet of liquid trail down your legs. Your breasts heavy and full, nipples darkened, your belly low. Your body heaving.

He is in awe. Not carnally - though he always wants you - he is in awe of you gritting your teeth against a wave of pain. He is in awe at the movement he sees in your belly. He is in awe of what is about to come, what you are about to do. You groan and reach for him. He immediately places his hands around your waist to steady you. You murmur softly as you lean into his embrace.

“Let’s get you to bed, darlin’ girl.” Arthur gently leads you to the bed and helps you lie down in it. You groan, trying to get comfortable, but it is a lost cause.

The hours continue to roll by, punctuated by your body seizing in agonizing pain every few minutes. You whimper to the ceiling, jumbled syllables of prayers, of curses, of his name.

He wants to growl, he wants to go outside and tear something to pieces. There is an overwhelming need to destroy as he watches you writhe in pain trying to bring his child into the world. He wants to fight another alpha - to dominate - to provide some kind of placation to the inferno in his chest.

Another pained, agonized whimper from you brings him back to reality.

“Si-sit me up,” You grit your teeth as Arthur helps you up, he sits at the head of the bed behind you and you lean back on him for strength. He will give you it all, he would give you anything to take this pain away, if only he could shoulder this task for you. You spread your legs a little further as your head falls back upon his shoulder, a wail crawling out of your throat. Slick trails down your neck from your mating gland as Arthur helps to hold you in a reclined position.

Spiced, warm, rich- with just a hint of the sweetness you usually smell like. It’s different, and instead of driving him wild with the need to rut, it’s making his heart pound with anxiousness and protectiveness. He’s sure if someone were to encroach on the area he would tear them to shreds with his bare hands right now.

“Doin’ so good.” He murmurs against your temple and you moan again in response, your head lolling forward as you hoarsely cry out.

“A-Arthur, its- it’s comin’, the baby-” You pant, and your hands move from clutching the bed sheets hanging between your legs.

“I’m here, I’m here.” Assurance is all he can do at the moment.  Blood begins to stain the sheet underneath you as you breathe heavily out your nose. Red smears your thighs as the end draws near. Your back tenses and your fingers clutch at his. Your nails dig into the back of his hand, but his pain be damned. Your head turns into his chest, squeezing your eyes shut, searching for some sort of comfort.

A rumble, deep and strong, claws up from his chest. His free hand spreads out over your belly, pulsing, cramping, hard - he can feel the ordeal your body is going through beneath his fingertips. Moments drag on as you breathe heavily through your nose.

With a gasp, you grab his hand from your belly and draw it down between your legs, against your cunt. Tears stream from your eyes as you wail loudly, the final moments having arrived. 

“Y’can do this, sweetheart, you’re doin’ so good-” He murmurs into your temple as you pant, another cry clawing up from your throat.

“Arthur-!”

Taking in a measured breath, you shudder in against him, a hoarse shout filling the room as you deliver the child. In a rush of blood and fluid, Arthur finds himself cupping the baby’s head as it slides into the world. A final scream pierces the room as you push again, the child’s shoulders and the rest of its body leaving you and into the waiting hands of its parents.

You immediately are lucid, and bring the child up to your chest, and the newborn’s piercing cry fills the room. The white-blue cord from the child’s belly pulses against your own, the blood connection between the two of you still strong. 

Arthur is struck dumb. He can barely comprehend what has just happened as you coo gently at the wailing babe, sticky and bloody. 

“L-lie us down, and get that linen blanket o’er there.” You whisper as you rub the child’s back, and its cries slowly quiet. He is jolted back to reality, and slowly, gently lies you down in the bed, standing up and grabbing the aforementioned blanket and bringing it back to you.

You’re able to wrap the babe loosely upon your chest and belly. You look up at Arthur, but his gaze is trained on the rough swaddled babe. The tufts of dark honeyed hair peaking out from the linen. Those blotchy red cheeks.

“Your son, my alpha.” You whisper.

Arthur gapes up at you, seemingly unable to comprehend your words, until something clicks and he immediately leans over and places his lips upon yours in a desperate, emotional kiss.

“Oh, sweetheart - you - you-”

You chuckle softly.

“You’re perfect, he’s perfect - my darlin’ omega girl.”

The child latches to your breast and begins to slowly suckle. The warm spice of your scent from giving birth recedes, and a sweetness replaces it. It’s new, this scent, the tang of milk and notes of comforting vanilla. Arthur breathes in deeply, resonating deep in his bones that you are no longer just his mate; you are mother to his child.

The boy’s scent - a combination of yours and his, invades his nostrils. Of sweet vanilla and leather. Of that tang of milk. He wants to nuzzle against the child and breathe in deep. The only scent he wants to be bathed in forevermore.

In those quiet moments after the ordeal of birth, you open the swaddled linen to give him access to cut the cord between you and the child, a quick flick of his hunting knife above the child’s abdomen. He holds you, kissing your temple and murmuring sweet nothings as you clutch at the child, delivering the afterbirth with a soft, stifled whine of pain.

Things start to slow. He’s got a new purpose now. As you drift to sleep, cleaned and in a new chemise, upon fresh sheets, his gaze moves to the basket next to the bed, where in a fresh swaddle of linen, his son also sleeps.

It's murderous, the things he would do to protect the two of you. This nest, the newborn child, and you recovering from birth. His blood sings- not in the need to fuck, but in the solemn duty he now has - as alpha, as husband, as father. It's fierce, the protectiveness he now feels. Like a snarling wolf defending territory. Alpha, protector. Head of the family.

He sits down in the chair opposite the bed, carbine in reach, beginning his watch.  The watch that would consume him for the rest of his life. 

But he’s content with this new calling. 

[myusuchaa]

Ellis Twilight 2nd Birthday Event Story

The Shape of Happiness - Embraced by the Thorns of a Mad Love: Part 1 this is a fan translation. i do not own anything. Cybird has the right of ownership to all in-game content.

✧･��: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

Sometimes, when I see him illuminated by the morning light, I feel slightly uneasy for no good reason.

Kate: Ellis… Ellis

Long arms and legs entwined around my body and robbed me of my freedom.

Kate: It’s already morning.

Feeling him here felt like proof it was real.

Ellis: …I want to hold you like this just a little bit longer

Now that summer is beginning, the heat has started to increase, to the point where we can sweat just from hugging each other.

I’m happy I can feel his warmth but… isn’t this too much?

Kate: Ellis, you’re not hot?

Ellis: I do feel hot but… I don’t want to be apart* from you.

Ellis: But… if you don’t like it then I’ll let go.

Kate: No, I like it!! It‘s just.. you’re starting to sweat.

Drops of sweat formed and rolled down his neck. When I reached out to wipe it away, I noticed Ellis switch to a more determined expression.

Ellis: Let’s look for summer sleepwear, the kind with thin fabric.

Ellis: With that, I could hold* you longer.

Kate: Hehe, shall we go shopping for it while we’re out?

His eyes seemed to sparkle as he watched me get up to get ready. I then said the words I'm sure he was waiting for me to hear.

Kate: Happy birthday Ellis!

Ellis: Thank you, I’m happy you’re the first person to wish me that.

He kissed me lightly and made a small sound.

Ellis: I want to kiss you more, but I really am looking forward to our plans today so… I’ll settle with just this.

He nuzzled his head against my shoulder like a cat wanting to be spoiled with attention.

(It makes me happy that he's started to show his innocent side since we began dating. )

Thinking about the fact that it’s only me who can see this part of him makes my heart flutter.

(Every time I get to see the cute side of the “cool Ellis”, my love for him grows.)

While petting his fluffy hair, I thought of our plans for his birthday.

(I’m sure it’ll be an amazing day.)

—

Kate: …The train is cancelled?

A sign in large lettering said that the trains were suspended.

Ellis: There was a landslide along the train tracks in town.

Ellis: Luckily, no one was hurt. But because the landslides were caused by such heavy summer rain, it would be dangerous to keep the trains running.

He reported this after going to ask a station attendant of the situation.

Ellis: And it just started raining here.

Kate: …It seems like the rain will get pretty bad.

(But…)

The plans I had envisioned for the day fell apart in an instant.

(We were supposed to visit a lavender field in town, then stay out and about doing various things in town.)

The other day, I heard that the popular lavender fields were in full bloom and I immediately made plans for it.

(I thought it would be fun to make new memories together there but… I guess it can’t be helped.)

I tried not to let my disappointment show, but Ellis caught how my shoulders slumped.

Ellis: ...Hey, how can I make you happier?

Kate: Hm?

Ellis: You have such a sad face and I hate it.

His hand that gently strokes my cheek is slightly cold from the rain.

Kate: I’m not sad but… it is a bit troubling.

Ellis: What is?

Kate: Thinking of another plan…

(I didn’t even think the trains would be canceled so I had no backup plan. I should have made one just in case.)

Ellis: Then, should we head home?

Kate: If the rain isn’t going to get any better then… I guess we should.

As I speak the last words regrettably, Ellis’s thumb softly traces my lips.

Ellis: I’m sorry… actually I didn’t quite mean that.

Kate: ?

Ellis: I also don’t want to go home yet.

Kate: Ellis...

The sound of the rain falling against the train station platform roof increased with the heavy downpour.

Ellis: I want to do something special with you on my birthday.

He gently kissed me on the lips, to which I instinctively pouted after he pulled back.

A mischievous smile grew on his face.

Ellis: Would you like to go on a date with me in rainy London?

He stole my lips again, not caring who saw us.

Part 2 ->

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*��･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

a/n: * when Ellis says he wants to stay holding her longer, the japanese word used is くっつけ, which means to cling/adhere/stick to in a way that is hard to get off. rather than just cuddling her, this implies his determination to really not let her ago at all.

[justmightyshadows]

Jaheira Confesses BG3 Fic Feb Day 3

This is my day 3 (I am not even trying to keep up). You can see the prompts here. This is #21 SFW . This is part one and part two is here.

This one is RATED T

I would say SFW but they're in a bath so you'll be filling in some blanks.

Thiramen - love(elvish)

The bath water was hot, steam whipped off the surface into the cold air of the night as you had the windows open to let in the sweet smell of fresh air along with a gentle breeze. You slide down until reaches just under your chin and lean back to wet the top of your scalp and hair. There is a stillness where the water surrounds your ears and leaves you floating almost inside its warm embrace. Jaheira approached you quietly, shedding her clothes and lowering herself opposite you. The small waves cause you to open your eyes and investigate.

You take in the woman before you - her silvery hair uncharacteristically without braids, her body is scarred and worn from battle as she sits with her arms atop the edge of the bath staring at you. “I thought you had already gone to bed, veluthe* (beautiful-elvish)” You say throwing out a compliment you are sure will get under her skin but instead of shooting you down she smiles “I would not be able to rest until I saw you. Not after the battle today.” You had just returned from saving Minsc. Jaheira had shed tears of relief once he was safe in camp but pushed you away once you had tried to comfort her. You had made your way to the bath and she, you figured, was fast asleep.

“A great day, why does the battle leave you so unsure as to stay awake?” You wonder if she is ready to talk about all of this, moving forward like this could cause her to become upset but there really isn’t much else to talk about. “Let me braid your hair for the night, come here.” She changes the subject so abruptly it takes you by surprise but soon you are swishing backwards towards her. You come to rest against her thighs as she kneels to get to the top of your hair. She takes her time cleaning, combing and braiding the long locks into a single braid that she rests gently on your shoulder. “I owe you thanks - for saving Minsc, for listening to a mad woman like me and for standing up to the Emperor. None of it was easy, or wise but I am grateful nonetheless.” She presses against you and leaves a kiss against your exposed shoulders the skin rising in goosebumps as she releases. “Are you getting soft on me High Harper?” You say leaning back to catch her face throw back for a full laugh. “I am trying to be serious for once and this is how you repay me. Next time I’ll let the deed go without thanks. Duly noted.” She sighs as you turn around. “You’re welcome, Jaheira. You know that I think you were worth all of the headaches.” You respond sensing her frustration. She stares at you - before she speaks again. “It is more than that, I do not say this lightly. We have more than just a friendly bond, it is something I have not felt in a long time.” Her arms wrap around your neck pulling you close and into the water, warming you. “Tell me now if you do not feel the same but I believe you do. We have shared a bed, a blade and now a journey. I want you by my side whatever comes next, I don’t want the regret of waiting for the right time, whatever that means.” She leans in without waiting for your reply pressing her lips against yours and gently biting against your bottom lip, when she releases you whimper slightly and place your hands around her gently. “Is this is your way of saying you love me?”

She glares and pulls you forward by the hips - splashing water over the sides of the bath “If I have to spell it out for you then yes - I love you.” Her eyes are fierce and expectant “I love you too Jaheira” you respond. She stands - the water sliding down her body as she exits the bath.

“Good, I would look rather foolish if you had said no. Now come, we can pour affection on each other in the bed. I’m getting even more wrinkles sitting in the bath for so long.” She towels off in front of you, slowly caressing each spot before she heads into the bedroom without looking back at you.

Pt 2 will be NSFW Prompt #10 ;)

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - chapter 37

I’m not worried about the three trying to kill me, because let’s face it, they can’t. I’m worried that the world will go under complete destruction again, only much worse than before. The good news is that none of them have a soul left to sell to the devils, so they probably won’t get very far. Probably. What could be the next big threat? Worst case scenario, their gods can’t find anyone worthy enough to replace them and they all rise from their graves. Best case? Well, the best case is that the worst case won’t happen.

“If you see them again, tell us. Please.” I can tell Karlach is trying to hold in her hatred for Gortash, trying to prevent herself from losing control from the madness. I smile at her and nod in agreement; I couldn’t keep an issue as gigantic as this one away from our closest friends, especially if their lives might be on the line. In fact, other than Gale, Karlach and Wyll would be the first to know, mostly because they’ve both had dealings with Gortash in horrible circumstances.

Time to enjoy the remainder of my day and not allow the situation from this morning trigger any negative feelings. As I’m washing the freshly picked vegetables to prepare for tonight’s dinner, I feel Gale’s arms wrap around me from behind. He had just put Jenevelle down on the mat to lie on her belly and ‘play’ with her baby toys.

“I am so sorry for earlier. I think I was just thrown off by the unforeseen dire circumstances once again thrown our way. We had a solid two years of no unhinged shenanigans and then out of the blue, this happens. I appreciate you and everything you do for us, my love. You truly are the treasure I have searched for my entire life,” he murmurs in my ear, causing goosebumps to scatter across every inch of my flesh. Those were the words I needed to hear more than anything right now. My heart skips a beat as I feel his loving aura embrace me, feeling butterflies on a rampage within my stomach as if we had just met all over again.

“Thank you. I love you so much, Gale.”

“And I love you, more than words will ever be able to express.”

I finish washing the vegetables off with the fresh well water and chop them up, ready to prepare a fulfilling feast. Venison, squash, and sweet potatoes for dinner? Yes please! Plus, it’s Gale’s favorite meal I make. He used to be the cook, until we moved in together; and I have so much fun doing it. As I prepare our meal, I watch Gale play with our precious little baby, both of them just smiling and enjoying each other’s company.

Once seated at the dinner table, we begin to eat the delicious food and I realize tomorrow is the first day back from summer vacation; meaning Gale has to teach at the academy. Luckily, only four hours a day, so it won’t be too terrible.

“I hope you, Jenevelle, and Tara have a peaceful day while I’m gone tomorrow. Maybe you can go enjoy the markets downtown or see Shadowheart, perhaps. I’m sure she would love to see you.” He’s right. I probably should go check up on her to see how she’s doing, plus give her some adult interaction that isn’t Astarion. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since her wedding day.

“And I hope your day of teaching tomorrow will be nothing short of successful. I bet your students have missed you. We shall see what the day holds, hm?” He smiles as he takes a bite of the freshly cooked venison, steaming with an aroma that triggers the desire to devour it. Juicy, thick, luscious.

After putting Jenevelle to bed, Gale and I attend to our own bedroom to embrace the night under the covers. I lie on the bed, completely nude as I wait for him to join me. I pat the empty space next to me as I watch him strip down of his clothing.

“Come here,” I mutter. My voice is soft and quiet as I beg for his body next to mine. He smiles, climbing on top of the bed, but I reach my arms out for him to kiss me and groan.

“Does my beloved lady want a kiss?” I nod, biting my bottom lip. He leans in and places his plump lips on mine, our flesh intertwining as he keeps them there for a moment. I feel his soft fingers stroke my hair, brushing individual strands out of my face and behind my ear, relaxing me. When our lips unlock, his gaze is deep within my brown eyes, holding my stare and making me fall deeper in love with him.

“Thank you for your comfort, it’s what I needed,” I murmur amorously as he continues to hold me. “Your love makes me feel whole. Please don’t ever change, I love you for who you are, and always have.” He rolls off to the side, curled up next to me as we pull the comforters over our bodies.

“You have no idea how good it feels to hear those words. I’ve finally accepted that being my raw, authentic self is good enough as is, because of you.”

While we’re in bed, I realize I didn’t feel the disturbing presence this time, nor have I seen the three horrendous villains like I did before. I actually feel at peace. It helps tremendously that Gale is holding me in his arms as we drift into a heavy slumber. I don’t want to jinx it in any way, though, so I just keep my mouth shut and close my eyes, feeling the warmth of Gale’s skin radiate off his body as it touches mine.

When morning arrives, I wake up with Gale so Jenevelle and I can wish him a good day of teaching at the academy. I hold our daughter and use her hand to wave at Gale as he walks out the door for his first day back at work.

“Bye Daddy,” I say, pretending to be Jenevelle. He chuckles, waving at us as he steps out the doorway.

“Bye, my loves. See you at lunch time.” He closes the door behind him and I take a deep breath, hoping for at least a semi-normal day that doesn’t involve strange visions or unexpected news. I look at Jenevelle as I hold her dear, smiling and trying to stay positive for the day ahead of us.

“Well, my darling, let’s get some housework done and I’ll take you for a stroll around Waterdeep. Maybe we can see Shadowheart and the baby Asher. Okay, and Astarion. Who knows what they’ve been up to? It’s been awhile.”

Our morning consists of the following routine: feed her a bottle, change her, do some laundry, prepare lunch for when Gale gets home, another bottle, and water the garden. Though it sounds tedious, I actually rather enjoy keeping the tower tidy, especially after all the months of chaotic adventuring. It makes me feel like I have life together now. As Jenevelle finishes her final bottle before Gale gets home, I hear a loud knock at the door that startles me like no other, which is odd because we don’t often get visitors that aren’t our friends. Not even Karlach knocks this loud.

“Heavens! Could they knock any louder?” Tara exclaims. “If I were wearing boots, they would’ve fallen off my body from how high I jumped!”

“Who is it?” I shout, hoping they hear me. No answer, nor were there any other knocks following this one. Curious, I strut towards the front door and open it, noticing no one is here. I do see a medium sized package waiting for me on the doorstep, however. I place Jenevelle on her play mat so I may lift the package, noticing it’s a little heavier than I expected. I place it on the floor as I sit down next to my daughter, preparing to open it. “From Mother” it reads. As I open it, I notice a fairly large book and a letter attached to it, which is an unusual gift, especially from my mother.

“Best to read the letter first,” Tara suggests.

“You’re right. Here it goes.”

‘My Darling Emmy,

I miss you so much dear, and your beloved family you’ve started. I hope to see my grand-baby sometime soon. I’m so sorry I have been absent and I really wish I was in touch with you more often. There is something of vital importance you need to know, and I wanted to find the right way and time to discuss it with you. I was sworn to an oath but it’s been eating me alive, my daughter.

Please know I have kept some secrets from you, and you deserve to know the cold truth. I kept these a secret for your safety, my love. To start, many of your memories were wiped out by Shar. I confessed everything at a Sȇlunite temple and…well, my words were heard somehow, and reported to Gortash.

Emmy, there is no easy way to tell you this, but Gortash is your father. Your biological father. I’m not sure if you already knew, but his parents sold his soul when he was a child, causing him to become corrupted. He wasn’t always like this. For years, he fought the corruption brought to him, especially when he met me. Him and I were happy for so long, a long time ago, until power became his true love. It found him once again. I didn’t want that life, so I ran away, not realizing I was pregnant at the time. I took off and met your stepdad. I told him everything. God… I never told you the truth as you were growing up, because you and your stepdad became so close. You didn’t need that information following you for life. Gortash has tried to find out for years where I was hiding, and, well, he recently found me. He knows now that you’re his daughter and he will try to be in contact with you. Yes, even though he’s dead, but not for long.

One last bit of crucial information you must know is that you also have a brother out there. A half-brother, a spawn of Gortash. I don’t know much about him at all.

I am so sorry this is all being revealed right now. I thought that since Gortash was dead, I’d never have to tell you. I saw him. He communicated with me. He’s been given one more chance to live thanks to his bastard of a God, Bane. I wanted you to be fully prepared in case you do come across him once again. Plus, you needed to know the truth. I love you. Please do not hate me. I’m so sorry. I hope to see you soon.

Love,

Mom.’

[super-predictable98]

The Galaxies of Gallifrey

Chapter 1: The Toymaker Trick

Word Count: 1,8 k

Warning: Mention of death, SPOILERS FOR THE GIGGLE

a/n: Hey there! So because I didn't have enough unfinished series... here's another one. I hope all the whovians can enjoy this canon x OC thing I'm working on. There's a lot more to come for this one, but before chapter 2 comes expect a Casanova request XD

2008 - Somewhere in space

"Gallifrey Gale McShane... can I have this dance?" The Doctor extended his hand and she took it. 

"What was that song from the future? Oh! I got it," she pressed a button on her phone and Mitski started playing. 

The two of them embraced each other sweetly, swaying gently around the TARDIS control room. 

"You know I... I... you know," he mumbled, still not quite ready to say the words he felt in his hearts.

"I know, and I do too," Gallifrey whispered. 

"Good, then we're in agreement. I wouldn't be the man I am today without you, our lives have been intertwined forever now." 

She nodded and rested her head on his chest, singing the lyrics for him quietly:

"Moon, tell me if I could send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do, could it shine down here with you? Cause my love is mine, all mine. I love mine, mine, mine. Nothing in the world belongs to me, but my love mine, all mine, all mine."

"I like that. Mine all mine all mine..." The Doctor repeated softly. "Are you scared? Of dying?"

"I think you might be more scared of me dying than I am." 

"That's true, I never wanted to- get attached because humans come and go, you get old and you start losing your memories, yourselves... then you die. And I'm left here, life after life after life."

"But with me you're taking the risk? You're accepting this pain?" 

"I'd do it all over again if it meant I'd get this time with you. Even if it would only last a day, a week, a month... You're worth it. The pain of losing you one day is not greater than the pain of never having you at all." 

His brown eyes were shining with sadness but also hope. Loving someone is like ripping your heart out of your chest and accepting someone else can choose what happens to it. 

"To answer your question, I am not that scared of dying. I hope it feels like when you're a child and fall asleep on the couch after school so your mum carries you to bed and you wake up there. I hope Death is like a gentle old friend." Gallifrey explained. "She'll take my hand and guide me to you." 

"To me?" 

"You know, Doctor, I also need to cope with losing you several times. I know you'll regenerate over and over right in front of me and there's nothing I can do. And even though I will always love you no matter who you become, this is my Doctor. You, Ten. You're the Doctor I wanted to spend my life with." 

"I see... I'm so sorry, Gal." 

"Don't be, I dream that when I die, my handsome Ten will take my hand and we'll run to our home near the beach. Our two dogs will be waiting and we can just be us, no more regeneration or dangerous adventures, just us." 

"Is that what you think heaven is like? Sitting on a porch with me?" The Doctor frowned. "I wish I could give you what you want, I wish there was someone else who could do what I do. I'd stay as the tenth Doctor for you for a million years even if I go completely mad having to stay in one place for the rest of my life."

"I know, but I don't resent you. I know the Doctor's job is to travel around the universe protecting everyone. And I'll be your companion until I can no longer do my job." 

*

2023: UNIT Headquarters in London

"Shooting ducks... who is next?" The Toymaker pointed the galvanic beam at each of the ladies. "The companion, the soldier, the scientist, the orphan... the wife," he smirked at Gallifrey.

"Your fight is with me!" The Doctor shouted, enraged by the idea of losing anyone else. "And you owe me! One more ga-"

Before he could finish, the Toymaker struck him with the beam right in the chest. 

"DOCTOR!" Gallifrey cried. "No! I'm not ready, I'm not ready! I don't wanna say goodbye to my Doctor!"

"I played the first game with one Doctor, I played the second game with this Doctor, therefore your own rules have decreed. I play the third game with the next Doctor!" The Toymaker announced. 

Without thinking of any consequence, Gallifrey ran to her husband's side. "Kill me, make me into a puppet, I don't care! This is the last time I'm seeing the man I fell in love with!" 

Donna and Melanie followed, they didn't want him to die alone, even if it wasn't really a death. 

"I'm so sorry, Gal..." The Doctor looked at his wife with a pained expression as she held his hand. "This isn't dying, but I know how much it'll hurt you. I know you always say it doesn't matter, but please still love me even if I'm insanely ugly." 

"You can never be ugly, Doc, not to me," she sobbed, trying to take in every detail of his face. 

"I'll miss the way you look at me when I'm like this." 

"Don't worry about me, I love all your faces. I love all of you," she assured. "Fingers crossed you come ginger this time." 

"It's time, here we go again," the Doctor gave her one last kiss from the lips she adored so much. "Allons-y."

But then... instead of regenerating, he just stood there, feeling rather strange and a little foolish. Gallifrey looked at Donna, who shrugged, just as confused. 

"Doc, what's going on?" Gallifrey cried.

"Could you... pull?" He asked. 

"Could we what?" Donna looked at him with a disgusted grimace.

"Just pull, pull from each side, all of you. It feels different this time." 

Melanie and Donna did as he asked, pulling his left arm while Gallifrey did the same with the right. At first, it seemed like a stupid effort, but then the unimaginable happened.

The Doctor divided himself into two. The man that sprouted from her husband was tall, had dark skin and short hair, the most beautiful smile. 

"What?" Donna and Gallifrey murmured almost in unison.

"What?" The Toymaker winced. 

"No way..." Fifteen pulled his other arm out and for a moment they shared their bottom half. 

"You're me," Fourteen gasped. 

"No, I'm me. I think I'm really really me," Fifteen smiled. "I'm completely me! Now don't just stand there, push!" 

When the two Doctors separated, they ran into each other's arms and hugged like brothers. 

"What is happening?" Gallifrey stared at them in disbelief.

"Bigeneration! I've bigenerated, Gal!" Fifteen took her in his arms and spun her around. "There's no such thing, it's supposed to be a myth, but look at me! What do you think, my beautiful?" 

"I think you look gorgeous!" She admitted, placing her hand on his chest while his hands explored her as much as they could in front of such a big audience.

"Hey! That's my wife you're fondling!" Fourteen yelped. 

"She's also my wife," Fifteen smirked before stealing a kiss. 

"Aw my sweetheart is jealous!" Gallifrey took Fourteen's hand. "Don't worry, there's enough of me to go around." 

"He comes in a range of colors then?" Donna chuckled.

"Right! Have you ever been black before?" Gallifrey asked. 

"No, not that I remember... how exciting!" Fifteen grinned. 

"If I can interrupt," the Toymaker called. "Behold the game of the Time Lords, a dummy who dies and doubles and dies and doubles... I could play this for a hundred years. I'd have vast meadows of Doctors dying over and over again and never get bored because-" 

"I challenge you to a game!" Both Doctors said. 

That was the trouble, there was still a game to be won to save the world. But with two against one it had to be easier, right? 

Gallifrey could barely watch as the Doctors played catch against the Toymaker, the little ball flying from one hand to the other and always on the verge of falling. Until it did, it fell when the Toymaker couldn't catch it. 

"As my prize I want you to be banished from existence," Fourteen asked before running into his wife's arms.

"You two are brilliant!" Gallifrey beamed with excitement. "But there's one thing you're forgetting, Fifteen also deserves a prize. And I think I know exactly what it could be." 

She walked up to him and whispered in his ear to which he flashed her a smile. 

"You, my love, are a genius!" Fifteen ran into the TARDIS and pulled a toy mallet from underneath one of the floorboards. 

"What are you doing?" Fourteen asked as they all came out into the garage. "It's not a sexy prize, is it? I don't think I can deal..." 

"What if the Toymaker's domain is still lingering? Just for a few seconds while we're in a state of play? Everybody stand back! Wish me luck." 

"What for?" 

"Heeeere's my prize..." Fifteen hit the side of the TARDIS with the mallet and another TARDIS appeared right beside the first. 

"Oh dear," Fourteen breathed. "You know what that means, Gal?" 

"What?" Gallifrey turned to him.

"There's someone who can do what I do," he smiled softly. "I can give you your paradise." 

"Doctor! But- but you always said you'd go mad if you had to settle down." 

"Ah you know how I am, I can always take the TARDIS for a little spin. We can visit anywhere you want, no more dangerous adventures. We can sit on that porch facing the beach and just be us. No more regeneration for a long long time." 

"Are you sure?" 

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life... I've spent so many years fighting all those battles and now I know what for. Let's go say goodbye." 

Inside the new TARDIS it was pretty much like the old one, with the exception of a jukebox in the corner. 

"Come here!" Fifteen hugged Fourteen, then Donna, then Gallifrey. "Look after him, you two... now if you don't mind there's a great big universe calling and I got to get going. So off you go, old man." 

"You're the old man! You're older than me!" Fourteen gasped dramatically. 

"Okay... kid. I love you, get out," he said before starting the controls. 

"Let's go!" Gallifrey took her Doctor's hand and Donna's to get out before they got pulled into another crazy adventure. 

When they left, the TARDIS was already whirring, preparing to take off. 

"I don't suppose I've ever seen this before," the Doctor watched amazed. 

"Where's he going?" Melanie asked.

"Everywhere," the Doctor murmured. "Now where are we going, Gal? California, Hawaii, Australia, the Caribbean?"

"I think I know the perfect place," Gallifrey smiled. 

[jarino]

Giving up the Ghost: Chapter 3 (Not Yourself)

Link works to help save the Domain from the sludge. He finds it hard to suppress his hurt feelings, though.

AO3 Link

Wanting to prolong the time before his meeting with Sidon, Link took the long way up to Mipha’s Court. He could have gotten there much faster if he’d repaired his zora armor like Yona had offered, but that presented two issues. One, he would have to face Sidon sooner than he was ready, and two, he’d have to interact with Yona. He wasn’t prepared for either of those things. So instead, he took the winding path to the peak of Ploymus Mountain.

When he finally reached the top, he took a moment to stop and look at the surroundings. This was the first time he’d had a chance to see Mipha’s Court since the construction had finished. Flowing fountains and crystal blue waters filled the space, alongside luscious plant life. He had to admit, it was rather pretty. He’s sure Mipha would have loved this place.

A few guards stood at attention around the central pool, and behind them stood the striking red figure of Sidon. His arms were spread wide, cool blue magic hovering around his hands.

Link was overcome with emotion upon seeing his friend again. It had been nearly six months since they’d last met in person. On the one hand, he was overjoyed to see him, but on the other…there was the engagement, and all that it entailed.

Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, Link stepped into the water, wading towards Sidon.

The sound of his splashing must have drawn his attention, for he slowly turned to face him. A gasp fell from the prince’s lips as his eyes landed on Link.

“Is it…really you?”

Unable to respond, Link gave a small nod.

Sidon spread out his arms, a joyous laugh tumbling out of him. “It’s so good to see you, my friend!”

He wasted no time bending down to Link’s height, pulling him into a tight hug.

Ordinarily, Link would return the embrace just as fervently, but he instead stood there stiffly, unable to bring himself to hold Sidon in return.

If Sidon noticed his odd behavior, he didn’t mention it. He pulled back slightly, though he kept his hands atop Link’s shoulders. “My friend…where have you been? I heard that you went missing and was beside myself with concern!”

Link glanced to the side, finding it hard to meet Sidon’s gaze. His golden eyes were so pleading, it was difficult to stay mad at him. He held up his hands and gave a brief summary of what happened beneath the castle, omitting a few details.

Sidon reared back in shock. “By the goddess…Zelda is missing? This is quite the predicament. I’m sure you’re beside yourself with worry…”

Link swallowed before nodding again.

“I would love to help you in the search, but alas, Zora’s Domain is facing its own peril at the moment, as I’m sure you can see. It is up to me to keep the water that filters into the Domain as clean as possible, lest my people face more damage. As such, I cannot leave this spot.”

As upset as Link was with Sidon, his words still caused him concern. It had been about a week since he’d woken up on the Great Sky Island, and he wasn’t quite sure how long he’d been sleeping for since the Upheaval started.

‘You’ve been stuck here? What about sleep?’

“Ah…thankfully, there are a few other zora who possess a similar manipulation of water, and I am able to take a few hours every day to rest up. Though, admittedly they cannot hold the sludge off as long as I can, which limits how long I can stay away.”

Link’s brows furrowed. Though he was mad at Sidon, he still cared about his well-being. The dark circles under his eyes were proof of how much he was pushing himself. And besides, the zora were clearly suffering. Link would readily put his feelings aside in order to save the Domain.

‘What can I do to help?’

“Oh, thank you very much, Link. I had a feeling you might offer you assistance, though I didn’t want to assume…Jiahto is currently researching ancient murals that relate to the sky islands. Perhaps meeting with him would be a good place to start.”

Link nodded slowly, his eyes still avoiding Sidon’s.

The prince paused for a few moments before asking, “I hate to pry, but…is something wrong, Link? You don’t seem your usual self.”

He could be honest. He could tell him everything that’s bothering him; could ask him why he’d been left in the dark about Yona…He even opened his mouth as if to speak, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

‘I’m just worried about finding Zelda.’ It was a half-truth, at least.

Sidon looked at him in sympathy. “I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I know how close the two of you are…” He knelt down again and placed a warm hand on Link’s shoulder, looking into his eyes. “Don’t you worry. Just as soon as the Domain is safe again, I’ll put any resources I can to helping in the search.”

Gulping, Link signed, ‘Thank you.’

-----

Link spent the next few days conversing with Jiahto and searching for King Dorephan in order to solve the puzzle the mural presented. To his horror, upon finding him, the king looked close to death, with sludge covering his body and seeping out of his gills.

The king had explained that Zelda set a monster after him, which greatly confused Link. That was completely out of character for her…it had to be some sort of misunderstanding, or a trick.

Dorephan gave him a few scales to utilize, but unfortunately, in order to reach the sky island Link was searching for, he knew he’d need his zora armor to scale waterfalls.

With a heavy sigh, he made his way back to the Domain, and to Yona.

When he arrived in the infirmary, she was beside herself with joy. “Oh, Sir Link! Thank you so much for stopping by. What can I help you with?”

‘Zora armor.’

“Ah, yes. You see, I’m very close to finishing its repairs, but I need a few scales from an Ancient Arowana. As soon as I have that, I can–”

Link cut her off by thrusting the fish in her face.

“O-Oh! How marvelous, you already have one.” She delicately took it from his grip. “Thank you ever so much, I should have your armor ready shortly.”

He gave a gruff nod before leaving the room.

Guilt swelled in his throat as he left. He hated being so short with her, but he didn’t know how else to react. None of this was her fault; he knew that…but it was hard to convince his heart of the facts when it was so shattered and torn.

She later found him wandering the plaza, and presented the armor to him, a warm smile on her face. “Here you are, good as new! I sincerely hope this will help you on your mission.”

He gave a curt, ‘Thanks’before taking it from her and walking off without another word.

Link soon solved the riddle on the mural, shooting one of Dorephan’s scales through a set of droplet-shaped rocks and creating a beam of light. From the sky island, he peered down to the light in the water below.

A sigh escaped him. He had to face Sidon again…He’d been avoiding him like the plague ever since he’d arrived, attempting to push down his feelings. He should be happy for his friend, but he wasn’t.

He knew he was being petty, but…everything just hurt so much. How was he supposed to be civil when he felt this way?

With a heavy sigh, he dragged his feet as he made his way back to Mipha’s Court. Despite what had happened, Sidon deserved to know what Link had discovered about the mural and about his father.

As Link returned to Ploymus Mountain, he prepared to approach Sidon, but stopped when he heard Yona’s voice. Quickly, he hid behind a rock, overhearing their conversation.

“Lady Yona!” Sidon exclaimed. “It is dangerous for you to be here!”

“Darling, I came here because there is something I need to speak with you about. I have been thinking for quite some time.”

“But must it be here? I would be beside myself if anything were to happen to you…”

“Sidon,” she said gently, placing a hand on his arm. “I appreciate the concern, but there’s something you must know…”

Guilt lodged in Link’s throat. Their words only served to twist the knife lodged in his heart. He hated that he was eavesdropping on them, but he couldn’t help listening.

He was about to leave, not wanting to interrupt whatever she was going to say, when suddenly a pile of sludge nearby began to move. Both Sidon and Yona whipped their heads in its direction, a sludge like emerging from the pile.

“Yona, stand back!” Sidon yelled, jumping in front of her protectively.

Link chose that moment to escape from his hiding spot, joining Sidon in a battle-ready stance. Sidon seemed surprised to see him, but didn’t say anything beyond, “I’m glad you’re here, Link. Let’s take this thing on together.”

Link nodded resolutely, holding his sword up at the ready.

Sidon promptly shielded Link with a watery bubble. With a swipe of his blade, Link sent water towards their slimy foe, rinsing it of the muck. He ran in close, taunting it to open its mouth. He leapt back in the nick of time, just before it could bite him, and immediately fired an arrow at its tongue-like protrusion.

He and Sidon took the chance to lay into the creature, and with their combined strength, its existence quickly came to an end.

Panting heavily, Link signed, ‘This was probably the creature that attacked your father.’

“My father?!” Sidon exclaimed. “Is he okay?”

Link bit his lip before answering hesitantly, ‘Admittedly, I’m not sure. He seemed like he was in a bad state, but it’s possible he’ll pull through. He’s strong.’

“I see...” Sidon murmured, his gaze looking down. After a moment of contemplation, he seemed to remember himself and ran towards where Yona and the others waited.

“Is everyone all right?”

Yona took a moment to assess the situation before answering, “We are unharmed.”

“Thank goodness,” Sidon said with relief. “Lady Yona, if something had happened to you…”

Yona stepped closer to him, a gentle hand laid upon his arm. “I appreciate the sentiment, Sidon, but I think Link has something to speak with you about.”

“Hm?” Sidon glanced in Link’s direction. “Yes, my friend?”

Swallowing thickly, Link took a few seconds before answering. He felt out of place in this moment, like he didn’t belong. ‘A pillar of light appeared in the water below. I believe it may be the key to solving the sludge.’

“Well done, Link! That is fantastic! Please tell me what you discover.”

Link was about to nod and leave, when Yona cut in.

“Now, Sidon…I believe you should go with Link to investigate this matter.”

“W-Well, of course it would be best for me to accompany him. However, I cannot leave you alone in this dangerous place!”

“Sidon, my darling, I truly appreciate that you worry so for my safety. It speaks to the kindness in your heart. But you are the prince of the zora. One day, you will lead the people of your beloved Domain.”

She shook her head slightly, a melancholic smile on her face. “I can see right through you, whether you want me to or not. You are yielding to the fear of losing someone you love again. You must overcome this.”

Sidon swallowed thickly, his hands flexing by his sides. “But…I…”

“Enough is enough!” Yona shouted, startling both Sidon and Link. “You are not acting like yourself! You must leave this place to me.”

She let out a sigh, stepping forward to place her hand on Sidon’s cheek. “Sweet Sidon…do not get lost in the past. You must keep moving ever onward. Just follow your heart, as you always do.”

“I see,” Sidon muttered to himself. “And there it is, clear as day…”

He was silent for several moments, solemnly gazing at the ground, before he let out a boisterous laugh. “I see! I will not give into this fear! Nor forsake my trust in you! I leave this place to you, my love.”

He said something to Link then, but Link didn’t catch it. He was too focused on the last thing Sidon had said.

My love.

How many times had he dreamt of Sidon saying those words to him?

It was clear as day how much Sidon and Yona cared for each other. They were truly the perfect pair. And Link? He was just an outsider, butting into their relationship. He could never measure up to someone like her.

After Sidon left to investigate the light, Yona asked Link to take care of Sidon for her.

As if Link didn’t already prioritize the man’s safety…as if he wasn’t his main reason for living.

Not responding, Link begrudgingly made his way after Sidon.

Though it was clear he was no longer Sidon’s most precious person, the reverse still remained true. Link would do anything to protect him. As hurt as he may be, he would help him save the Domain.

[imsparky2002]

Class of Heroes: For the First Time in Forever

For the first time in what felt like forever, the eldest Prince of Arendelle woke up with a smile on his face. He stared at the marked date on his calendar. The first day of school at Francois! The start of his treatment! He was finally going to be cured of this awful power!

“It’s orientation day.” He whispered, before letting out a laugh of joy. He jumped up and down on his bed. “IT’S ORIENTATION DAY!” He quickly got dressed, brushed his teeth, and ran out of his room. Marc gasped as he saw the light that had entered the dark castle grounds.

Marc:

They’ve opened the windows and the doors

I won’t miss out on sunlight anymore

And once I leave, the outside world awaits!

I’ll go beyond these empty halls

No longer imprisoned behind these walls

Finally, they’ve opened up the gates!

He stops and lets the breeze from outside flow through his body.

Marc:

I won’t feel a chill through my fingers

I’ll admit that it’s totally strange

But wow, am I so ready for this change!

The prince twirls around in joy, dancing throughout the ballroom.

Marc: 

‘Cause for the first time in forever

I’ll be normal, I’ll feel right

And when I come home for a visit

I’ll hug Kiran really tight!

The future was dark and cloudy

But now it feels so clear!

‘Cause for the first time in forever...

I won’t live in fear!

Marc decided to make a visit to Kiran’s room. He knocked on the door, and saw his little brother, as he opened the door. 

“Marc? You look so happy. What’s going on?” Kiran asked, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Marc furrowed his brow in confusion. He had never seen his older brother so joyous before.

“Didn’t Su-Han tell you? I’m going over to Francois for Orientation Day. I’m finally getting cured, little brother!” He cheered. Kiran gasped in shock.

“Cured? You mean you’re not gonna be sick anymore?” he asked. Marc nodded eagerly.

“Y-Yeah! And I’m sure there’ll be ways for you to visit. And when I come home for the holidays, we can spend more time together. Not just meals, but all day! That’s what I always wanted.” Marc replied, noticing the frown on Kiran’s face.

“M-Me too! But... how is going away gonna fix you?” Kiran asked, looking a little sad. Marc let out a sigh of regret as he looked away for a second.

“I can’t tell you here. I don’t want Su-Han to get upset. He’s always been trying to prevent me from seeing you. But once I get to Francois and begin the process, I’ll explain everything.” Kiran nodded, but he could tell the boy was gonna miss him a lot. Marc gently put an arm on Kiran’s shoulder.

“Kiran?” Kiran looked him in the eye. “Yes, Marc?”

“You... you know I never wanted to shut you out, right? I hope I made that clear.” he said, worriedly. Kiran nodded understandingly. Every time his invitations for Marc to come out had been rejected, he could hear the soft pain in his older brother’s voice. He knew that it was hurting Marc even more than it hurt him. “I... I know, big bro. I was never mad at you for that.”

Marc began to tear up as he held his brother tight, a mix of sorrow and joyful relief washed over him. “I love you, brother. I will always love you. And when I get back... we’re going to build the biggest snowman.” he said. Kiran couldn’t help but laugh at this, as he broke down as well.

“It... it doesn’t have to be a snowman.” he whispered. Marc let go, and started to make his way to the castle’s entrance, before looking back one more time.

“Ok... bye.” He said, waving at Kiran, before leaving his sight.

The little prince kept on a mask of happiness as he saw his brother enter the carriage that would take him away. He had to be strong... strong for Marc. It’s what he deserved.

Kiran:

Just smile and wave

Don’t let him see

A good brother is what you need to be

He needs to leave, be free, I know

But still I really wish he wouldn’t go!

But while Kiran avoided acting his age, Marc embraced it for the first time. He felt like he was floating on air as he made his way to the school. He let out a whoop of joy as he left the carriage and entered the school. All different types of students looked on with curiousity as he jumped for joy. It didn’t matter to him. He was happy enough to make friends, but what mattered most was the cure. And for the first time in forever... Prince Marc felt hope. The feeling of warmth never felt so good.

And that’s Marc’s introduction! Big thanks to Weeby for helping me write Marc and Kiran’s conversation. Our Anciel bros are so sweet! As always, reblog, reply, ask, and post for your thoughts on the content. @artzychic27 @msweebyness 

[inafieldofdaisies]

Five songs that remind you of the Seeds (outside of the game's OST) | Tag seen from @direwombat | Leaving the tag open <3

*I thought to include a snippet of the lyrics too when available

John Seed:

Kleptomaniac by DEZI

I'm a parasite I do anything to feed my appetite I'm gonna make this Hell look just like Paradise Sacrificial lamb, you think you've seen the light

Am I sadistic, do I do it on purpose? Antagonistic, am I making you nervous?

I crave the self-indulgence And I blame it on compulsion And I try to fight the urges But underneath the surface I'm a kleptomaniac

I'm gonna take it all And you're ok with that

Saints by Echos

You were standing there like an angry god Counting out my sins just to cross them off Saying that my tongue was too loud to trust And that my blood couldn't keep you

My dear, you're not so innocent You're fooling Heaven's gates So you won't have to change You're no saint, you're no savior

Looking at the Devil by Seibold

I like the taste of the poison I like the rush of the pain

I come alive in the darkness You know that I love the game While there's a snake in the garden No one's safe

See you bleed by Ramsey

I just wanna see you bleed Open you and set you free

Luci by ZAND

He's got a great big smile and cheekbones cut like knives But I know he's real ugly inside

Think there's gonna be a showdown Between my new hot friend and I My pocket knife is cutting up the ropes now Gotta try, gotta try I think there's gonna be a showdown Between my new hot friend and I 'Cause in the end, the ultimatum is that one of us has to die Not I

Jacob Seed:

Will you fight by Klergy, Beginners

Your time has come Can't tell hell from the sun When it's all said and done Who will you become? When nothing's as it seems Don't let 'em bring you down on your knees When nothing's as it seems Who will you become?

Will you run or will you fight? When the war comes

The Hunter by Sam Tinnesz

There's no rest for the fallen Oh we're burning the fields You're the snake in the garden And you're under my heels

Who's gonna save you Who's gonna save you now When the hunter comes

World Gone Wild by UNSECRET, Sam Tinnesz

Feeling the tension Pushing at the seams There's no way to stop this You can't stop this

The pressure is building It's getting hard to breathe No end to the madness

Four, three, two, one There's nowhere left to run

It's a world gone wild

Here come the wolves by Lola Blanc

Hеre come the wolves They're coming to get ya I run through the woods I'm not gonna let you go I'm baring my teeth, I'm ready My tongue is a sharp machete

Fighter by Jung Youth, Sam Tinnesz

I can feel the desperation All my dogs can smell the fear If you ain't ready for the belly Why you even coming here They been waiting for the end Before the game even begins And I've been fighting for my soul For my family for my friends I ain't ever giving up

Faith Seed:

River by Oh, be clever

I used to keep my dark a secret I used to keep my heart in pieces He said he liked me better as a mess He said he wants to save me from myself

Mermaid by Skott

Believe me, it is true You know that I would jump too Ooh, into the blue, into the blue It's proof, because we got nothing to lose And there ain't nothing to prove You know I'd jump with you

All I need by Roniit

Embrace me, I swear I'll be safe, I'll show you the way, open the gates I'm careful and believe me I'll stay I could be all that you're looking for

You're aimless, but you gotta be brave

Her & The Sea by CLANN (instrumental)

Chimerical by Roniit (instrumental)

Joseph Seed:

Reborn by Galleaux

I'm watching in silence Burying all I've lost Let this be the end Let me start again

Let the fire burn it to the ground Feel the world of ashes as it crumbles down Breathe the smoke, breathe it in Don't stop until it cleanses my sins

And I am reborn

And so It Begins by Klergy

You've been waiting Looking off into the night Search the horizon Watching out for smoke and fire You knew this day would come You aren't the only one And so it begins

The Beginning of the End by Klergy, Valerie Broussard

Reckless behavior is looking at a man Like he was a savior

Blind leading blind Everything looks darker When you close your eyes

Deity by Demo Club, TENDER (for the life of me I can't find the full lyrics, and I don't wanna guess them bcs TENDER be mumbling at times)

Shepherd of This Flock by JT Music (it's inspired by FC5 so ofc I'm including it)

Who found you while you were lost? When blind, who helped you see? Cuz I'm the shepherd of this flock I guide my righteous sheep Of your sins, I'll see you washed Then I'll set your soul free The word of God is one you trust So thank God He speaks through me

[yujo-nishimura]

A coffee break - Final Part

This is a heartfelt fanfiction dedicated to @lostfirefly, who has been a constant source of support and encouragement for my writing. Спасибо!

Last part! :) <3 Enjoy!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Warning: Buggy x OC fem reader / Smut / Minors do not interact!

Their passion surged like an unstoppable force, engulfing them both. The atmosphere within the small bar grew hot and electric, the air heavy with anticipation. Buggy, still partially under the influence of alcohol, found himself unable to restrain his desires. He continued to kiss Helga on her lips, her neck, slowly wandering down with his lips to her chest and breasts. He gently started sucking on her nipples, making her moan softly. 

Longing and impatience consumed her after waiting for him for what felt like an eternity. As she gazed up at her captain positioned above her, a surge of desire coursed through her veins. With a sense of urgency, she seized his bandana, causing his flowing blue locks to spill over her soft belly and cascade onto the table. Despite his weary eyes and smudged makeup, he just looked magnificent in the warm embrace of the orange sunlight. There was an undeniable fire in his gaze, a spark that captivated Helga and compelled her to forgive him for all his past transgressions.

“I never allowed you to touch my hair…!”, Buggy chuckled now, breaking the kiss just to undress himself.

“Right now you are not my captain and I am not taking any orders!”, Helga smiled gently as she said that, helping him to undress, wanting to feel his hot skin on hers. The red-haired girl felt light-headed as she suddenly felt his hard cock pushing against her wet folds. He was so ready to be close to her, right here on this bar table and she held onto him in anticipation, as they continued kissing. 

“I cannot wait anymore..!”, he gently moaned in her ear as he pushed the tip slowly inside her. She was all ready to take him, being impatient herself she forcefully pushed her hips against him. As he was finally completely inside of her, he rested his head for a moment on her shoulder, his blue locks leaving a soft sensation on her skin. Then he slowly started moving, gently to make sure she could take him. Despite the awkward position on the table, Helga's body was trembling from the sensations. Buggy completely filled her with his throbbing cock, he still kept kissing her, just sometimes breaking the kiss to gasp for air and to look into her feverish glimmering blue eyes. 

“Damn, you look beautiful! You take me so well..!”, he hissed and slowly started to speed up his movements. Helga tried to hold on to the table, making sure Buggy could chase his orgasm inside of her. Sweat was glistening on his biceps and chest, he had changed position now, standing in front of the table and holding his girlfriend, pressing one of her legs up to push deeper into her. Helga felt her climax approaching, gently being rocked back and forth by Buggys movements, the friction became unbearable. "Don't stop!”, she moaned and tried to grab him, feeling she was almost there. Buggy, going almost mad by her moans, started to push even harder, the table gently squeaking under their actions. 

"I will claim you as mine, and I will never release you again...!" Buggy gasped, his words escaping in ragged breaths.

Helga couldn't reply, something in her seemed to snap, she trembled and as her velvet folds clenched around Buggys cock. He pressed his fingers deeper into the white skin of her leg. Lifting it a bit higher he blissfully moaned her name as he came inside of her. Sweating and heavily breathing he bent over her naked chest, kissing her once more. “Let's get out of here before someone comes. You come back with me on the ship!”, he whispered and Helga knew without a doubt that there was nothing else in the world she desired more than to embark on that journey with him.

"But promise me that you will control your jealousy and grant me the freedom I deserve as a member of your crew. I want to fight, to be a pirate like any other in your ranks," Helga pleaded.

"I will grant you that freedom, but I will also ensure that no one in this world will ever harm you," Buggy declared, his voice filled with determination.

Slowly rising to his feet, Buggy gathered their clothing, hastily adjusting his hair beneath the bandana, causing Helga to sigh with a tinge of disappointment over the sight of his hidden hair. 

"You don't belong in this place, pumpkin. A bar is not a fitting environment for a capable fighter like yourself," Buggy remarked.

"I am well aware of that. But once again, you must promise me that you will acknowledge this when we return to the ship," Helga insisted.

Buggy took her hand, pressing it against his chest, allowing her to feel the rapid rhythm of his heartbeat.

"I promise. From this moment forward, I will treat you better than I ever have," he vowed.

[wiff-waff]

Three short weeks today I will be free of the shackles of wage slavery. FMS.

12 shifts only.

I've kind of enjoyed my 17 month stretch toiling at YOS. I've learnt a lot about myself, mainly that I can still cut it in a busy kitchen but maybe only part-time and I've met some pleasing and hardworking co-workers who I will remember fondly.

Ella, Ella.

But I've had enough of slogging these old guts out for minimum wage + tips and I'm ready for a good long rest.

And our time in MK is coming to a close. We've wintered here for the last 7 years and though I never say never I can say with 99.9% certainty that we won't be back to stay. Not that there is anything wrong with the town of relentless roundabouts and concrete cows but we have done MK. It is too easy. Next winter I (we) need a new challenge.

Exciting.

Very very soon in the not too distant future it's my birthday. It's a big one. A very big one that is causing me no end of distress and misery. So big I can't even say the blasted number. I'm trying to embrace another decade older but that ain't happening either.

Never again am I gonna have wild nights clubbing.

I'm passing into the older generation. Me, my bro's and cousins, we're the next lot to go. And the young of my clan, mad Uncle Ian who lives on a boat and always sends us £10 every Christmas and birthday. He's cool!

I'm playing the long game (again) In 20 years they could be choosing me a care home.

[jediknightjameslunagazer23]

An Spiritual Comfort

Kira gazed up at the unfamiliar presence, despite how scared she was due to suddenly being pulled out of her own paitent room bed into... whatever this weird place was, she suddenly felt a sense of... relief...?

And she could feel a similar feeling of being held by some sort of motherly affection, a feeling she did not have since... since then, could it be--?

"Wh-Who are you...? I-Is what I'm sick with so bad that heaven has sent you as a angel to guide me up where my original family is? A-A-Are you somehow... my mom!?"

The being blinked in surprise and wonderment at the young girl for a moment, then let out a small soothing sort of giggle, the kind of giggle when a mother thought her child was asking a silly question.

"Not quite young one, only that what you're sick with besides from that at present is the loneliness that you feel whenever your adoptive brother isn't with you at times, so I figured you could use some company in the form of comforting spirit of pain relief, which is connected to what your own gift is, though you don't need to understand it right now young Kira Lunagazer."

Now Kira was even more confused! Just what was this... spirit going on about? Gift? She hadn't exactly been given any kind of gift recently, not since being adopted into her brother's family at the least.

"Okay, I'm definitely having some sorta bad dream aren't I? I mean I haven't exactly done much to receive anything as of late, aside from gifting some of my own pranks on others!"

She said that with a hint of pride, as sometime ago, she got a certain blonde-haired nurse to fall for her puppy dog eyes trick when trying to dodge her usual IV injections, unfortunately it didn't work on her partner Doctor who was with her, but he made sure it didn’t hurt quite as much, so she couldn't really be mad about that.

The spirit then giggled again, and then ruffled Kira's hair, causing the young girl to be surprised but also laugh in response, feeling as if this spirit shared her sense of humor and was rewarding her for it.

"I can certainly tell you are very mischievous indeed, not like most I have seen over the many who have come to wield my gift of pain relief, but that's not why I summoned you here, I can sense you're afraid of the big surgery you're about to have in about two days time, am I correct?"

Kira blinked in surprise, amazed that this spirit was somehow able to sense her emotions, but then nodded yes in sadness, holding her arm and looking away as if to try and hide tears from the spirit, but suddenly the spirit embraced her and spoke comfortingly again.

"Do not worry, there is nothing to be afraid of, by the blessing of my husband and I of the stars, the young Asclepiad in charge of your treatment will safely remove your affliction, and you'll be as fit as a sunflower ready to spread joy to others who are suffering just like you are!"

The spirit then looked to Kira who seemed to have calmed down slightly, and now Kira looked a bit curious, given what this spirit seemed to know, she had to ask.

"You mean Big Bro Derek? Are you saying his star power is the same as yours? A-Are you telling me... I have his power too!? H-How can I use it!? Can I use it to cure myself? Is it able to help me seek the answers to those horrible math questions I have on homework!?"

Kira just went on and on with glee and excitement, her eyes shining with wonder at the possibilities, though this was beginning to overwhelm the spirit with how many she asked, she eventually had to put her hand on Kira's lips to get her to stop and slow down!

"I can understand your excitement young one, but unfortunately that isn't what your gift is for or even able to do, besides you can ask these questions when we do meet again properly on your own accord next time."

The young girl blushed a little in embrassment, though she didn't need to give any apologies, somehow she felt the spirit understood and had already forgiven her.

"Now, it seems our time here in the Astral plane is running short, so I'll have to leave soon, but never forget this, even if your brother and his family aren't always present physically, their love and support shall always be with you in spirit no matter how far apart you may become, however if you ever feel lost or alone, call out with your heart and I will heed your call, may the stars of the night light your dreams, Kira Lunagazer."

"W-W-Wait!! Miss uh...Grandma-friendly-spirit!? I don't know your name!!"

The spirit looked in surprise upon hearing how she was addressed, it was just so funny to her she snorted and laughed before composing herself and then smiled warmly at Kira before everything began to fade out, holding Kira one last time as if to let her know she was still there and would always support her.

"You may know me... as Epione."

And with that... everything faded and Kira closed her eyes, falling into a rather peaceful sleep that night.

Just a bit of a one-shot story I kinda came up with on the fly in relation to this art, but yeah kinda wanted to do a Kira meeting Epione as a paitent for the first time and somewhat learning about her powers, though she's probably not certain if it was for real or even a dream to begin with, so yeah she still won't be exactly aware of what her powers do until much later.

So yeah, not much else to say, other than this takes place for in-between period during Chapter 8 of the Trauma Center Fan Manga when Kira's first admitted as a paitent and has to be treated by Derek, I'd figure that even with the support of Derek, Kira would still be a little bit scared of getting operated on for the first time, and it seems it was powerful enough to warrant Epione intervening.

I'll probably cover a full story of how Kira gets sick the first time and the events surrounding that as well as how James takes it, but other than that just kinda also did this to see about getting back into the groove of fanfics.

[umaiyrhh]

FRAGMENTS OF AN INVISIBLE HEART

Journal entry #1 September 2,2024

Few months passed by just like how the cold winter passed by, I was doing better. I am back to my old self. I am so happy that I’ve finally reached this point. It was already mid weeks of my lecture and I was having a total blast in here. Or so I thought. I knew deep down its not the same anymore but life goes on, I need to make my parents proud as I already reached this far. As the day went on, I tried to focus on the little things—making a good meal, reading a few pages of a book, or listening to music that made me smile. Each moment felt like a step forward, a gentle push to keep moving despite the heaviness in my heart. Reflecting on today, I realize that sadness is a part of my journey, but it doesn’t define it. Life goes on, and I have the power to seek out moments of joy amidst the shadows. Tomorrow, I’ll continue to embrace that journey, one step at a time.

-maiy-

Journal entry #2 September 3,2024

My heart dropped as I received that messages. It was him. He came back with a long heartfelt paragraph. I don’t know how to describe my feelings. It was mixed feelings. There’s an anguish in me, with a little bit of sadness and a slight of happiness. I don’t think this was a coincidence. After all those sleepless night of my prayer, finally it has been answered. The man that I prayed for. The first thing I said to him after 3 months of breaking no contact was cursing. I mean A LOT OF CURSING. It’s been so long since he left me and suddenly he popped out again out of nowhere. HOW COME I AM NOT MAD? I guess that was my anguish and unsaid thoughts for all those months with lots stages of grief that I have to went through alone. As we talked, I couldn’t help but notice how much I still cared for him. The connection was palpable, and despite the distance that had grown between us, it felt like we picked up right where we left off. But then the weight of reality hit me. Deep down, I know I still love him. That truth lingered in the air, heavy yet hopeful. For now, I’ll take it one step at a time. I’ll allow myself to feel whatever comes next, but I want to stay true to myself and what I’ve learned from our time apart. It’s a complicated mix of hope and uncertainty, but I’m ready to navigate it.

-maiy-

Journal entry #3 September 22,2024

Through the days ahead, I’ve made up my mind. We want to try it again. This time we want to do it right. I was overcome with feelings of exhilaration, nervousness, and a tinge of terror when he reached out. We discussed everything that had transpired between us, the causes of our breakup, and the lessons we had discovered while apart. I was somewhat aback by how forthright and honest we were. This time, it seemed different, as though we were both coming from a position of development. The chemistry was still there, and it felt comforting to laugh and share memories again. But I also know that the past can’t be ignored. We’re not the same people we were, and I hope we can build a healthier dynamic this time around. I know it will take time and effort from both of us to rebuild trust and understanding. I will forever cherish this moment. With hope, till death do us part.

[fumikomiyasaki]

Mine! with Peko and Pluck or Tenera and Baliin

Love potion

Pluck was just ready to get to his room and practise for one of Flynns plays as Peko asked him to try some cakes out with him... an offer her could never resist given how big of a crush he had on her... thanks to what she said apperently Greg left those cakes in the cafe and she thought it was a gift for her... so before Pluck could even eat a piece she already had one stuffed in her mouth... but what happened after was like a dream to him. She suddenly got off her chair and sat down on his lap. His face grew bright red looking at her as that sweet smile hit him and she used her finger to boop his nose.

"Plucky... can you carry me to the couch?... I wanna cuddle but I am too lazy to walk..."

"P-peko?! Of course I would."

She felt so soft... he felt her breath against his neck even if she only layed down on him... this was the closest he was to her... he could die happy now... but then she even leaned up over him looking.

"Plucky... do you love me?"

"I love you more than anything, Peko-sama... you were for long the one I wanted to be with."

Her look at him was dazed... this had to be a dream... to think she was feeling that much affection for him... he was closing his eyes in hope that their lips met before suddenly someone spoke up.

"What is going on here?"

Emma looked at them too somewhat annoyed as Pluck got into panic. He didn't want to seem bad to her.

"P-peko just ate that cake and um..."

"Cake?... did you two even read the description of this... who brought this here."

"Gregory according to Peko-Sama."

She sighed calming down but then pulling Peko away from him... as she whined a little...

"No fair Emma... he is mine-"

"Listen she is under the influence of a love potion cake, we need to get her fixed."

"I-I see so she is..."

His head hung low... of course he couldn't be that lucky but reluctantly he agreed to help her and lure her to the infirmary... as Peko was normal again and said she was sleep he was already about to leave the room as Emma spoke up.

"The cake wouldn't have worked if she felt nothing for you, keep that in mind."

A spark of hope for sure and... at least he still had some of her smell on him but... still if only... at least now he was motivated to get back to practise in order to impress her.

Given his brother was busy on a date, Baliin thought similarly to give Tenera a visit who over text already said she needed some help around the room with some furniture being in the way of her wheelchair... arriving there however he caught her eating a cake at the table looking at him with curious eyes.

"You are here~ I hoped you would arrive soon."

"So where do you need help?"

"Actually... before we take care of that, could you carry me to bed?"

He didn't question it... after all given her condition rest was a good thing at times for her but what he didn't expect was her putting her hands on his chest and eying him with a more loving stare.

"You just look too good... I feel myself longing for you each time you are gone... the embrace of those strong arms... Bal... I know its selfish of me to ask but... I want you to me be mine for as long as you live... after all I know I sadly live longer..."

"Ten... its unlike you to be so direct..."

She placed both her hands on his shoulders to give him a kiss on the neck and leaving with a slight purr...

"I really... just need you..."

Her breathe was uneasy... to the point he was concerned about her untill he heard a noise from the kitchen... surprisingly it was his brother with Yasuno behind him.

"What are you two doing here?"

"We were just about to steal some snacks but... you should take a look at this."

He looked at the box where the cake was inside before that she ate... love cake... that explained a lot... as well as her cat like hissing cause he left... a sigh escaped him.

"I take care of her... but you two should not touch what is left."

"Aww but wouldn't it be fun if the Reaper grew even more mad for me?"

"Given how I am I don't think much would change."

Baliin gave both a glare and picked Tenera up...

"Did I say something wrong I... just wanted to show you how much I love you."

"You didn't... don't worry."

Even if she was under influence... he felt some truth was behind her words... which left a small smile as he brought her to the infirmary.

[sneakybeag]

First let me start out by saying Im not sure if these notes will be in any specific order, in fact I doubt they will. Im going to write the dat as it was originally written. That way I will be able to look at the season my life was in and hopefully one day smile at how far I have come.

January 7, 2023

One day before the big 40, and the biggest let down of what would begin the next chapter of my life. Turning 40 should be “epic”, closest friends (I don’t have many), happy, energetic, and ready for the next 10 years. 10 years of truly figuring me out, but already knowing where I want to be, want to go, and who is lucky enough to share it with me. Instead my last day in my 30’s, dreading tomorrow, (the big 40), and now clinging to the last moments in my 30’s which by far was the best decade I have lived yet. I raised my babies, something I can never do again, had my last baby in my 30’s, moved to new home, watched dreams happen that I never thought I would achieve, started school, this is a chapter or decade rather, I do NOT want to let go, yet it ends tomorrow.

When you talk about being excited about something, wanting something so bad on the one and only day for just you, and here it is the eve of that big day, the day you have only talked about for the last 5 years, only to be sitting alone, with tired, cried out eyes because…… silence————————————————————— (that’s all you hear) nothing happens, well that’s me. Excuse after excuse is all I hear. We don’t have the money, 3 months I’ve been planning this out in my head, how it would go, where we would be, what we would be doing and who would be there, yet here I sit knowing that absolutely nothing is going to happen. Shame on me for thinking otherwise, I guess that is what you get when let your walls down. Your responses are the same, so cynical, “we don’t have the money”, “sorry I couldn’t do what I had planned”, “sorry you are mad about it”, sorry, sorry, sorry, blah, blah, blah, that is what I hear, better yet that is exactly what happened. I am not sure you even truly knew what I wanted, you never listen to me, it goes in one ear and out the other, but in all actuality you don’t know because you don’t have one sentimental, loving bone in your body, you’re nothing but fucking cold. In the last six months that’s all that has happened, tear after tear, let down after let down, and heartbreak that I have never in my life experienced in the 12 years we’ve been married or the 17 years in total we have been together. How do we fix it now? How do we even get back on track when this ultimately has pushed me so far away Im not sure I know how to believe in you again…. I want to so bad, but the though of your unthoughtful-ness crushes every part of my being.

So for now, turning 40 is still focusing on me, focusing on a new career, and providing myself with the stability that I know I can. I can hustle, and I know how to work hard, it is becoming routined and staying motivated that causes me to fail, but when it is you against the world the only thing left to do is push through or else you will drown, only you have the key to change your destiny, and anyone who is blessed to be a part of that is there for the ride.

So 40 whether or not I am ready for you coming, I will smile, do my best to embrace it and become what I can only hope will be the best version of myself. So self, here is to the next 10 years. Self, you ARE your biggest enemy and your greatest cheerleader, you can do this. Self, your bones are strong, and your heart is so good.

Goodbye to my 30’s and hey to 40!