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zara-renata · 1 month ago

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How you learned to stop worrying and embrace Sylus Qin | ao3 | the Sylus series

Summary: Sylus reveals his latest little plot and makes you an offer that you ultimately can't refuse. More lying around talking in different beds with Sylus Qin.

Notes: Sylus x gn reader, Sylus x mc, second person POV We've moved past the enemies part of enemies to friends to lovers, now we're into slow-burn friends-to-lovers territory This story contains: as the summary says, lying around and talking in a bed, and then not on a bed, boundary crossing typical of Sylus, which means you ultimately consent but he still should have talked to you first, but in his defense he pulled this bullshit before your Q&A with him, an mc with self esteem issues, sexual tension, profanity, mentions of being physically and mentally unwell.

As you lie on your side with Sylus in his sprawling, unlikely greenhouse, feeling his heart beating steadily under your hand and his soft breath against your chest, you’re tempted to stay like this for as long as he'll allow. To just call in sick and rest here until he gets bored and kicks you out. In this pocket of space-time that is just yours, shared with the person who is quickly becoming your most favorite creature in the universe. But you’re responsible. And needed. You can’t leave your team in a lurch, especially if Xavier is still away on one of his secretive little forays to who-knows-where, doing who-knows-what.

You sigh and can’t help yourself as you lean in a little and breathe in the scent of Sylus’s soft hair. Warmth, and that faint undercurrent of oranges that you now know comes from his shower products. Bright and tart. Just like him.

“You can use my shampoo, if you like it so much,” he murmurs, shifting a little until his cheek is resting against your chest over your heart. His stubble is a cat’s tongue along your skin above the edge of your tank top.

“How generous,” you smile, hating the idea that you need to get up and somehow get home. You have no idea what time it is, or even what day it is at this point. You think Sunday, maybe?

“Why so surprised? You should know at least that much about me, by now,” he grumbles.

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry. How could I forget, with your insistence on sharing so many things with me, even if such things were unasked for, or even dare I say, unwanted.”

“I like to anticipate your needs,” he says smugly. “And sometimes you don’t even know what you want until it's given it to you.”

“Yes, like blood in my foyer, feathers in my bed, and intense embarrassment during your business meetings.”

He lifts his head and looks up into your face. “What about an earring that you stopped wearing?” he asks, eyes shifting to the now empty piercing in the same ear in which you wore his ruby for a little while, before you thought he was dreaming about someone else.

You hate thinking about it, now. You had changed his name in your phone, and taken the ruby stud out of your ear and left it hidden in a bathroom drawer. It seems so silly, and petty now. A sad little attempt at controlling something in your life, when you couldn’t control your feelings, or his. As if by removing evidence of his gift, you could remove the sting of rejection. You don’t know how to answer him, because you don’t want to explain why you stopped wearing it. It doesn’t matter now. Now he’s your friend, and he has promised not to hurt you again in the ways that matter. So what, if he has romantic feelings for someone else? Him, here with you now—that’s enough for you, for now.

“And the pistol I engraved for you. You were strapped with it tonight, but you haven’t used it since I gave it to you.”

This, you don’t want to talk about either. The gun he gave you is beautiful. But you still can’t stand the sound of a gunshot so loud in your ears. It’s also probably illegal, and not something you can use during your official hunter duties if it’s unregistered or modified against regulations. You look away, letting your gaze wander to the plants spreading beyond the tiled clearing where you lie in the swinging garden bed, as if in some fairy tale or cheesy romance novel.

“How do you get all these plants to grow, since the N109 Zone doesn’t experience sunlight? The torches along the paths can’t be enough to sustain this much vegetation,” you ask, hoping he’ll let his current line of questioning die.

He’s quiet for a moment, and you can feel the weight of his stare on your face. “When I’m not here, there are grow lamps programmed to activate in an imitation of the day-night cycle of the natural habitat of the plants in this part of the greenhouse. I deactivate the system when I come in here, because the lights… are not pleasant for me.” He pauses and squeezes your hand. “There are smaller partitions within the main greenhouse to accommodate the plants that can’t handle the level of light, heat and humidity out here. Spend some time exploring, if you’re curious about this area of the base.”

You wonder if you’ll have the time anytime soon, to come back and take him up on his offer. Now that you know—to a certain extent—what was going on in his head during the first few days you spent in his base, and now that he has promised that he won’t ever pull that bullshit again, you are willing to try to see if you can be in his house without being on the verge of a heart attack. It’s only fair, if you’re going to be friends, that you visit him instead of him always having to come into Linkon City, with its bright sunshine and his wanted posters plastered in every administrative building. Even if they don’t feature his stupidly handsome face. Maybe spending time here, in this place that is so different from the rest of the sprawling house, would be a good start. But you have no idea when you’ll be able to make it back here again.

“Maybe I’ll take you up on your offer, someday.” You fall quiet, and the only sounds are the water rippling from the soft flow of the fountain and the call of birds high up in the foliage.

Just as you think you’ve successfully derailed Sylus’s line of questioning, he picks it up again. “If you don’t want to answer my questions, you can just say so.” He sits up on his elbow so that he can lean over you and your hand falls away from his heart, but it’s still shackled to his wrist by the evol linkage. His hand falls with yours. “But if you’d like to tell me, and just don’t know how to say the words, we can play a game.”

You tense. “What kind of game?”

“The kind where I ask you specific questions, and if I ask them in a way that makes you feel like you can answer, then I win.”

“And what do you win?” You’re intrigued, despite yourself. You notice the tie keeping his dark, silk pants tied around his waist has loosened a little. Without thinking, you reach out and gently pull one of the ends between your fingers, just to have something to do with your hand. Your knuckles brush against his firm abdomen, and the soft silver hair there. His muscles underneath your touch shudder and contract as he sucks in a sharp breath.

“As enjoyable as that might be, that’s not what I want to win from this game,” he says softly, covering your hand in his and guiding it away from the waistband of his pants.

Realizing what it just looked like you were implying, you try to jerk your hand out of his like it’s on fire, but he holds it tightly. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking, that’s not what I—”

“I’m not interested in hearing apologies from you.” His eyes search yours. “Ever.”

All you can do is stare at him, because once again, you feel like he’s trying to tell you something in code and you just don’t have the key to decipher it. “But what if I do something that hurts you?”

“You will never be able to hurt me in a way that warrants an apology.” You open your mouth to protest, but he continues. “If you’re that worried about it, let’s make a deal. If I ever want to hear you say sorry, I’ll ask you for it.”

You feel like he just steamrolled you and normally you'd keep bickering with him, but you honestly do not have the capacity to spar with him on this point tonight. So you just nod.

He deigns to accept your agreement with a little haughty sniff, as if he can’t believe he had to review with you how invincible he is to anything you could do to him. “And to answer your original question, I win your honest answer,” he says, running his thumb along the back of your hand—you’re starting to wonder if such contact is to soothe you, or himself.

You squeeze your eyes shut, still embarrassed despite his reassurance and trying to remember what the hell you were even talking about before you groped his clothing. “And if you don’t manage to ask the right questions?”

“Then you don’t have to answer, and can keep your secrets until you’re ready to play again.”

“This is not a very interesting game for you,” you groan, rolling away from him, but he keeps hold of your hand, so your arm is now pulled awkwardly behind you as you face away from him. He can keep the damn thing.

“That’s rather bold of you, kitten. Even you don’t get to decide what’s interesting to me.”

You look over your shoulder at him and scowl.

“Oh, I’ll keep going to keep that look on your face,” he taunts. “What, are you mad that only I get to decide what I find interesting?”

You roll back over so he can’t collect his reward from your face, and he just laughs softly behind you.

Do you want to talk about the earring? No. You’re going to help him win over his crush, and then you’ll keep the little ruby in the same way you’ll keep these memories of him: cherished, safe, and hidden in a drawer for when you want to remind yourself that you were able to live this dream, for a little while.

But you don’t want him to think you don’t appreciate the earring, or the gun. “Fine. I’ll play this guessing game with you. But not right now, please. I’m so tired, and I need to get going.”

“How about you stay with me instead.” It’s phrased like a question, but his tone sounds like a command.

“What? I can’t. I told you, I have to work. Do you think I could borrow one of your vehicles to get back home tonight?” You look longingly at the plants through the gauzy drapes, not looking forward to a cold, dark drive home.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Like what day it is? Yeah, I think that’s just one of many things I’m forgetting.”

In response, he just leisurely lifts your linked wrists.

You roll over yet again, facing him, and groan.

“Make that noise again,” he teases, lightly cuffing your wrist with his thumb and forefinger.

You ignore him. “Fuck, we really need to figure out how to sever the link at will, instead of just… waiting to fall asleep. Which seems to be the only thing that releases the damn thing.”

“Do we?” He pulls your hand up so he can rest his full lips against your knuckles.

You absolutely refuse to let him distract you this time. This is your job. This is your life. “Don’t you find it inconvenient every single time this happens? Surely there are better things you want to do.”

“Are there?” he murmurs into your skin.

“Take this seriously, please!”

“Am I not?”

You have the urge to kick him off the bed, but with the linkage, you’d just go over the edge with him. Normally you might be that petty and willing to take the hit, but tonight you’re exhausted. What you need to do is focus on a solution. First, gathering intel. “What time is it? What day is it, even?”

Sylus sighs and lowers your linked hands to his pants pocket and slips his own hand inside, leaving your palm with nowhere to go but on his hip. You refuse to think about the solid warmth underneath the cool fabric, and how easy it would be to keep sliding your hand further down, and everything you would be able to feel along the way.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and you’re released from the torture. “It’s five in the morning. And it’s Sunday.”

You let out a breath of relief. It’s not in the middle of Sunday night like you feared. You must not have slept that long, before you woke up in Sylus’s bed. “Great, then all we have to do is take a nap, or I guess you just have to go to sleep as usual, and I’ll nap again. Then when the link is gone, can I borrow a vehicle to get back to Amnesia? I need to get my bike back.”

“What’s the rush?” Sylus asks, apparently uninterested in your efficient plan to get your life back on track before you head back to work. He scoots closer to you again, resting his head on the pile of pillows, linked wrist pulled up between the two of you near his face.

“There’s stuff I have to prep for, before a long work week. Laundry. Groceries. Watering the plants.”

“How are you going to work with your feet injured?”

You flex your toes, and yeah, your feet sting from the cuts, but you’ve worked through much worse injuries. The key is just to keep the bandages clean and regularly changed. “I’ve had worse. It’ll be fine.”

Sylus sighs again. “You really shouldn’t be working if you’re injured at all, kitten.”

“It’s really fine.”

“It’s really not.”

You’re starting to get annoyed. “Okay, I appreciate that you’re trying to express your concern for me, but it’s not up to you whether or not I’m fit for work. It’s up to my boss. And she’s fine with me working like this too.” You try to soften your voice, because despite your irritation, you can recognize that he’s trying to look out for you. And unlike this guy, you’re nice. “So thank you, really. But it’s my fault I’m hurt in the first place, and I’ll deal with it.”

“Mmm, must suck being wrong not just once, but three times in the span of ten minutes,” he rewards your attempted kindness with a taunt.

You again resist the urge to kick him off the bed, because you’re trying to be fucking nice here. You narrow your eyes instead. “Oh, I didn’t know I was in the presence of ye mighty, all-knowing master of truth,” you snark.

“Oh?” he perks up. “I like the sound of that. Does this ‘Master’ title also come with your obedience?” He sounds way too pleased at the thought.

Okay, that’s enough being nice. You draw up your knee and plant one leg on the bed while grabbing his forearm with your linked hand. You roll, jerking him with you fast enough that his momentum causes his body to roll on top of yours—for a moment, you experience what it’s like to have the full weight of his big body pressing you into the mattress, and it’s so overwhelming good that you almost pause to savor it, but you’re a fucking professional. You keep the momentum going by thrusting with your hips into a bridge and send him sailing over the edge of the bed. As he goes, you roll with him but plant one knee into the mattress to halt yourself before going over the edge. He ends up dumped over the side of the bed on his ass with a grunt, but you’re starfished on your stomach on the bed with just your linked arm hanging over the edge of the mattress. For a moment you’re worried about how hard the tiles are, and that you might have just hurt him, but then you picture his thick ass and reassure yourself that all that cake must have cushioned the fall. He’ll live. Right? Okay, now you want to pull him up and pat his butt… to soothe any pain, not because you just want to able to touch his—

Suddenly you’re yanked by your wrist from your position on the bed with a yelp, and despite scrabbling with your free hand to prevent your descent, you’re suddenly ungraciously sprawled across Sylus’s big chest, your legs straddling his lap as he sits supporting himself with his unlinked hand behind him.

You plant your hands on his chest and push yourself up, trying desperately not to squeeze his huge pecs like your hands are aching to do.

He looks at you smugly, but there is a pink flush creeping up his neck and cheeks. It must be because of how warm it is in here. “I’ll take that as a no,” he smiles, clearly pleased with himself for having dragged you down with him.

“That’s a no,” you scowl, pretending that you are completely unfazed by this position, by his big warm… lap underneath you, his soft skin and chest hair under your hands, his face so close to yours. This is an everyday experience for you. Straddling a big, half-naked, handsome warlord with your robe open, falling off your shoulders, pooling around the both of you.

You need to focus. You’re so focused right now. On getting home, not his big half-hard dick between your thighs. FUCK.

“I need to go home.” You breathe very slowly. Because you’re calm. You’re a block of ice. You will not melt into him. You will not think about why he is apparently afflicted with a partial boner. He seems untroubled by it, so you refuse to acknowledge it, even to yourself.

“You need to stay with me,” he counters, despite the scowl you’re still giving him. “Are you not even going to ask me what else you’re wrong about tonight?” he asks, tilting his head. His silky hair falls across his forehead.

You close your eyes. You’re focused. You’re learning that if you don’t answer Sylus’s questions the first time, he will simply keep asking until you do. You’re an ice sculpture. Ice sculptures are immovable, poised and out of reach. They don’t squirm in their friend’s lap, just to see if there will be a a bigger reaction—

“What else am I wrong about, Sylus?” you ask, eyes still closed against the dream spread out underneath you.

“Look at me,” the dream says. For some reason, you don’t hesitate and obey his command. His pupils are large in the low light of the torch-lit greenhouse, so his eyes are like the color of the most heady wine. “It’s my fault that you’re hurt, not yours. And technically, it’s up to Dr. Iceman to decide whether you’re fit to work or not, not your captain.”

Now, you do actually freeze, everything else forgotten. “Dr… Iceman?”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware that only you can assign silly nicknames to people,” Sylus lifts his hand and taps you on the forehead, bringing your wrist up with his.

“What do you mean, it’s up to Zayne to decide whether I’m fit for work?” You suddenly have a very, very bad feeling.

He narrows his wine-dark eyes. “Zayne, is it? Not Dr. Li?”

You just stare at him. It’s his turn to answer questions, now.

“I noticed that you also have him listed as ‘Zayne’ in your phone,” he says as if he’s bored while admitting that he’s been nosing around in your phone again. “And what I mean is just what I said. It’s not your captain, but your primary care physician who signs your fitness for duty certificates. If ‘Zayne’ refuses to certify you as fit, you don’t have to go to work.” He emphasizes Zayne’s name, as if to underline what he thinks of you calling your childhood friend and doctor by his first name instead of his title. And what he thinks doesn’t sound entirely approving. Well tough shit, if you don’t get to determine what he finds interesting, he doesn’t get to judge what you call your friends. Even if Zayne doesn’t seem to think of you as friends anymore, you will always care for him and the little boy you knew all those years ago.

“Zayne hasn’t refused to sign any of my health certificates since he became my doctor, so I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation.” Thinking about Zayne, and how he treats you with such long-suffering coldness now, you suddenly don’t want to be on Sylus’s lap anymore. You sit back, letting your hand fall away from his chest. He breathes in sharply, and grabs your wrist to force you to sit still.

“Although he has failed in this regard up until now,” he says, voice dripping in disdain. “That’s no longer true, as of last night.”

You don’t need Sylus to hold you in place to keep you still now. Ice water courses through your veins.

“What the fuck does that mean, Sylus? This isn’t funny.”

He narrows his eyes at your cold tone. “Does it look like I’m laughing?”

“No, which is why you’re going to explain, right now, what the fuck you've done.”

“Your doctor has agreed that you should go on indefinite medical leave. Your captain has been informed, and agreed. As of tomorrow, you’re on sick leave until you're actually fit for duty again.”

You just stare at him. Mind empty, breath stopped, shoulders tensed to your ears.

“And it looks like you could really use it right about now.” Sylus gifts you with one of his subtle smiles and lets his hands drift up your shoulders, your shackled wrist going with his. He gently urges you to relax them by pressing down. “Stay with me, instead of going home tonight.”

“You don’t get to make this type of decision for me. How did you even pull this off? This is my job. This is my life. I have to go to work tomorrow.” You can’t seem to resist his gentle, firm press against your shoulders, despite how rigid you currently feel. You're a piano wire garrotte strung too tight, caught in a block of ice.

“It’s not your life, sweetheart,” he cups your shoulders in his big palms, stroking his thumbs along your skin. “It’s your calling, but it’s not your entire life. And again, you don’t have to go to work tomorrow.”

“Explain how this happened, Sylus.” You’re basically pleading with him, hoping that you’re wrong about what you now are almost certain he has done.

“You’ve already texted your doctor asking for medical leave.”

You flinch. “What?”

“And you should probably get your hearing checked while you’re on medical leave,” Sylus muses.

“Sylus!”

“Yes, the jewel in the crown of my heart?”

“What do you mean, I texted Zayne?” Your voice is strangely high in your ears.

“Exactly that. You texted him. While you were sleeping last night. You’re really a great multitasker, I’m impressed.” He widens his eyes as if to emphasize his admiration.

“You can’t do things like this, Sylus!” You put your uncuffed hand back on his chest and push, just a little, almost futilely. You don’t want to hurt him. You’re shocked that he crossed such a huge boundary before you woke up. He’s crossed so many boundaries before, but has never interfered with your work. Even so, you don’t want to cause him pain.

He lifts a hand from your shoulder and cradles your cheek in his big, warm palm. “I can do things like this. I already showed you when I was at your place that I can do things like this. And I did this because your calling is going to fucking kill you if you don’t take the time to recover, physically and emotionally, before you return to it. I did this, because you won't do it for yourself.”

“This wasn’t your call to make.” You’re an iceberg, adrift, thinking about an indefinite stretch of time before you, with nothing to do, just you alone with your thoughts. Because you know that you can’t undo whatever he has done. If Zayne has already agreed, and Jenna has been notified, what possible explanation can you give for showing up to work tomorrow that doesn't sound insane?

“It was a text, not a call,” the pedantic ass corrects you. “And sure, let's say it wasn't my call to make, for the sake of argument. But it is your doctor’s. And he fully supports you taking extended medical leave. It’s a good thing I asked him, because it’s clear from the way he almost didn’t believe that it was you asking that you’d never do this for yourself,” he says, shamelessly indignant that Zayne correctly didn’t initially believe that it was you making the request over text.

“And he was right,” you bite out. “It wasn’t me asking.” Despite your helpless anger at what he has done, you let yourself lean into his touch, lifting your hand to circle his wrist and just resting your cheek in his hand. “Why did you do this, when I wasn’t even injured yet? I was still asleep. My feet were fine. I was fine.”

“No matter how many times you repeat that, it isn’t going to suddenly be true.” He murmurs, seeming to sense your pliability. He pulls the arm you’re holding towards himself, as if he knows you’ll go with it, and his hand falls away from your cheek. Instead, he’s now encircling you, holding you against his chest with his free arm. “You haven’t been fine for a long time, sweetheart. It’s time for you to admit that.”

“You don’t get to decide that,” you whisper, resting your forehead against his shoulder, breathing in the warm scent of his skin. Something about the way he smells is so calming, despite how distraught you are at the weeks yawning ahead of you now, an abyss of time and memories you’ve barely been able to claw at the precipice of for all these long months.

“Have you not used the gun I gave you because the noise of a gunshot triggers flashbacks of the bombing?” he suddenly asks, holding you even tighter, caging you against him in case you try to pull away.

You stiffen, but instead of pulling away, you turn your head and bury your face in his neck. You can’t answer. He asked the perfect question—all you have to do is say yes. You want to say yes. You don’t want him to think you’re ungrateful for his beautiful gift, but the words won’t come. But you agreed to play this game. He asked the perfect question to allow you to easily answer.

You clench your teeth and nod, just a little.

“I win,” he gloats softly, smiling into your hair. “Thank you.”

You still can’t say anything, but you feel a strange sense of relief, like pulling off a bandage and seeing that the wound underneath has been healing nicely when you were afraid it might have been infected.

“You made a deal with me tonight. If you don’t want something from me, you promised to honestly tell me. I did this before we had that conversation, but you can still say no. I’m not going to keep you captive here, and force you to take time to focus on recovering from everything you’ve gone through this year.” He runs his fingers up and down your back, warm even through the cool silk of your robe. “But can you honestly tell me that you don’t want to stay here with me and just take a break? That you don’t want to take advantage of the medical leave to let your feet heal, and to spend some time away from the stress and risks of your everyday life? You can think of it as a well-deserved vacation.”

You lift your head, straightening a little to look into his earnest face. “You would want me to stay here?”

"Oh, my kitten's hearing is actually fine," he laughs softly. “I thought I made that clear, with the three times I asked you to stay with me.”

Once again, you’re struck by how little you understand this man, even after your long talk tonight. You know he doesn’t hate you now. That he has no intention to hurt you again. He seems to even like you, as a person, and not just as someone who will be useful as an ally someday, or as a guinea pig for trying out romantic gestures. Your mind drifts to your shampoo and conditioner in his shower, and that brief flash of hope that he may care for you as more than a tool. As a person. You remember in the shower, wondering if he may care for you as maybe more than just... you can't let your mind go there. But you can't help but think of him caressing your skin with his thumb, and wondering if he gained reassurance from it too. He told you to ask questions when you have them. So you do. “But why?”

His gaze drifts from your eyes, to your mouth. Then he looks away, seeming to leisurely take in the wild life all around you, eyes narrowed in thought. “I’m never bored when you’re around,” he says, the picture of casual. He returns to looking at you, his lovely eyes searching yours.

Of course. You weren’t hoping for any other answer. That sudden weight in your stomach—it isn’t disappointment. You’re amusing, a sideshow: come one, come all, behold the strange deadly jester! You’re useful when maintained properly. That’s why he keeps showing up to spend time with you, and why he’d want you wandering around his base for weeks at a time. Your mind drifts back to Luke and Kieran showing you the psychology book about people who can have everything they want. How they enjoy a challenge. You’re just friends, after all. He’s just asking a friend in need to relax at his place, and in return he will get some amusement from it. Maybe he views you as a sniper rifle with broken components. A little side project, a fixer-upper. He probably has all sorts of people drifting around the place to satisfy his whims and need for entertainment. Not that you’ve ever seen anyone at the base besides Luke and Kieran, but you spent most of your time here previously in a locked room. What do you know? “You’re in that dire need of entertainment?”

“Not when you’re around,” he tugs gently on a lock of your hair. “So, will you accept my gift of a surprise holiday and stay with me?”

You just stare at him, trying to sift through your feelings. Do you want to take a break, in a place far removed from your silent apartment, from your deadly job? Not that the N109 Zone isn’t deadly, but… Sylus will be close, and there will likely be other people in and out to give you some measure of relief from the thoughts in your head. Even though he’s inviting you to stay in a place you just tried desperately to escape, a place which still gives you anxiety when you think too hard about it. But this time will be different, right? He says he wants you here. As far as you can tell, he doesn’t want anything else from you besides dodgy dating advice, and for you to be around to entertain him once in a while when he isn’t preoccupied with business. The place is huge. He said he has a gym. And this greenhouse… you can spend all the time you want in here. Weren't you just thinking how nice it would be, if you could stay here until he tires of you, in your own little pocket universe of frozen time? There are worse ways to spend a convalescent leave. Your mind returns to the most appealing part—Sylus will be close.

Apparently you’re taking too long to answer, because he tugs on your hair a little again. “Yes? No?—” you bring your hands up and cover his mouth before he can say “Maybe so,” because he apparently has limited lines at his disposal for being a little shit and you don’t want to hear this particular line from him again right now. He lifts an eyebrow, and suddenly you feel his warm tongue sliding wetly up your palm.

All at once you’re very aware, again, of how you’re sitting in his lap, with all of his bulk underneath you. That the soft warm skin and fur of his chest is under your forearms as you hold your hands to his plush lips. The feel of his tongue along your skin sends a jolt through you that takes you by such surprise that you rock against him with your hips, once, without even realizing that your body has simply moved on its own to get what it suddenly desperately wants. His tongue disappears from your palm but his breath hitches and he makes a low sound, deep in his throat.

You freeze and stare into his eyes. You don’t dare move, your palm still pressed against his full lips. You think you see a pink flush creeping up his cheeks beyond your hands, but again, it’s probably just because it’s so warm in the greenhouse.

This is just a dream, you tell yourself. His arm around you. This beautiful place, filled with thriving, living things. His hard warmth underneath you. He’s offering you a dream, for a little while. He’s inviting you into his world, as he invited you into sleep before, to help you rest, to refill your empty tank. Every weapon needs maintenance. Every tool has a breaking point if overused. You know, deep down, that he’s right about you not being fine. Maybe if you let him lull you into this dream for a little while, when you wake up you’ll be able to bear returning to the cold solitude of your useful life. You can hold the memory of this dream close to you, to warm you through the long years after he flies so far ahead of you that you’re unable to catch him. When whoever he loves begins flying by his side.

The thought of turning down his offer, and driving away from him right now, is suddenly excruciating. It won’t hurt anyone, taking a little bit of the comfort he so easily offers for yourself, right? His future lover won’t have to know about the tool he stored in his home, amidst all the other weapons in his arsenal, for just a little while. You’ll stay out of everyone’s way—no one will notice you here, and no one will notice when you’re gone.

You don’t think you deserve it, but you decide to be selfish. Just this once. The only person who will be hurt in the end is you. You’ll indulge in this little dream, just for a little while.

Suddenly you feel the slick of his tongue in your hand again. “Ith thith your anther?” Sylus asks from behind your palm. You careen back into the awareness of your body. You jerk your hands away and scramble off of him, landing on your ass on the pretty, colorful tiles.

As you go, you realize he isn’t coming with you. You look down at your wrist—the evol linkage has dissolved.

Sylus sits in the same position, leisurely sitting on the tiles next to the garden bed. He rubs his wrist with his other hand thoughtfully. “Is this your answer?” he repeats.

You take a deep breath. “Yes.” Just for a little while. You’ll take a little break. You’ll live the dream of going on dates with Sylus. Of being welcome in his house. Of not having to fight, every single day, just to survive. And since this is all just a dream anyway, you'll indulge in some of the things you'd never allow yourself while awake. You'll allow yourself the dream that each date is real. That each caress from his rough hands is meant for you, and only you. When he does finally get bored with you, you’ll go, and you’ll be grateful for the memories, each a little jewel that you'll tuck away in a safe place, to be taken out and admired when you're missing him and this bright, impossible dream the most.

"Why do you look so sad, if it's a yes?"

You try to steel your expression. "Sad? I'm not sad. Just—tired." That's not a complete lie. But Sylus shakes his head and gracefully gets to his feet. He offers you his hand. You just stare at it.

"New rule. You can lie to everyone else in your life, but not to me." He beckons you with his hand.

"Oh, I have to follow rules, but you don't?" You flick your gaze disdainfully from his hand to his face.

"My rules are always sensible. And I told you, give me a list of rules that make sense, and I'll follow them. I'm still waiting, for both the list, and for your hand." He motions with his hand again, this time impatiently. You just lean back, with all the time in the world now.

"Are you sad because you made the questionable fashion decision of leaving your ruby earring at home?"

The unexpected question startles a laugh out of you. "Yeah, Sylus. That's why I'm sad," you lie again. But your heart feels a little lighter at his obvious attempt to make you smile. You finally give in and take his offered hand, pulling yourself to your feet. The pain in your feet distracts you from any lingering pain in your chest. He must catch your wince, because you're swept into his arms again.

"Take mine," he says, turning his head to show you the stud that is still in his ear. You've been so distracted tonight that you didn't clock that he was still wearing it. "Until we retrieve yours from your home." He carries you back through the greenhouse, galoshes that he slipped back into before leaving the clearing crunching on the winding slate path.

You wonder why he's so insistent that you wear it, but also strangely touched that he is. "Okay. But I'm not taking that thing out of your ear while you're carrying me. And you really, really don't need to carry me until my feet are fully healed. This is one of those times I'm telling you no, I honestly don't need this from you. Okay?"

His only response is to hold you tighter and turn his head back towards you so he can run his nose briefly along your temple. "Fine," he says. "Starting tomorrow. For now, let's get some sleep. It's been a long night, and if you're going to be here with me, you need to align your sleep schedule with mine."

"Is that so?"

"Yes," he says. Efficient. Simple. With the utmost confidence. The essence of Sylus Qin.

"Okay," you sigh, relaxing into his arms. You'll take what he is offering, a gift to yourself, for just for a little while. You relish in the strength in his arms, the safety of his heartbeat against your body, the peace of having everything already decided without you having to do a thing. Just for a little while.

"Welcome to my world now, kitten," he says, his voice a purr of satisfaction, with a finality that sounds like a door slamming shut and the handle falling off, rolling leisurely, useless on the floor.

***

end notes: I promise that now that I've finished the exhaustive setup of addressing Sylus's main chapter in-game bullshit and the change of venue from Linkon City to the N109 Zone, more action will start happening! We have a tank! Sylus has a swimming pool and an armory! We will be getting a black card! We have a birthday party to attend! There are dates that must go sideways!

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus #love and deepspace fanfiction #sylus x reader #sylus x mc #lads sylus #lnds sylus #l&ds sylus #my fanfic #i hope this is enjoyable for those still reading!#it's fun to think about every free moment and then write!

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