#be for fucking reaaal
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I just saw someone say that Blaine serenading that guy at the GAP was comparable to Finn outing Santana…why does these Blaine antis reach to much
#i cant evennnn be bothered with a serious response alskfjdskl#yeah it was crazy when that guy also got outed to all of ohio bc of a commercial that came from blaine's song#it sucks that he lost his job but im sure he can find another one lmao#likeee again i know its just dependent on what the writers CHOOSE to take seriously but#this is sending sunshine to a crackhouse shooting brittany out of a canon levels of stupid#glee#lol glee#asks#anonymous#although i shouldnt talk about the sunshine thing bc rachel antis looove pulling that one when talking about how shitty rachel is#be for fucking reaaal
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my body's aching like a knock-down drag-out
and my poor heart is an open wound A Childhood Friends Au snippet that very briefly delves into Danny's life post-accident. CW: Mild Mentions of Blood, Violence, VERY mild gore ig. Danny briefly recalls getting impaled during a fight.
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What they don't tell you about being dead is that it hurts. That it can hurt. That it can hurt more than when you were alive. That when you die, the emotions you die with stick with you like a leech that just won't let go. That emotions are ugly little thorns that stick their barbs into you and grow beneath your skin; or, at least, whatever’s left of it.
Danny is familiar with anger. It kept him warm in Gotham, when his parents weren't home from work and he and Jason were crowding Crime Alley with their presence. It kept him warm in Amity, when the fresh sting of moving was still needling into his heart and he wanted nothing more than to rip and tear into the closest person next to him.
He's familiar with violence. With fights. With death. He's seen people die in Crime Alley probably every day. From overdose, from gunshots, from stab wounds; anything that can kill, rest assured he's seen it. He's familiar with getting his own knuckles rough and bloody when other kids turn and bare their teeth at him and Jason; they're all just starving dogs stuck in a fighting pit, primed and ready to rip out each other's throats.
Black eyes, stomped hands, bloody noses. You name it; he’s had it. Gotham is paved with the blood of her children, and Danny likes to imagine that when he was born, the doctors handed his mother a file and told her; “Take it. He’s going to need it for his teeth.”
Danny’s mom (and dad, for that matter) was too busy trying to keep him and Jazz fed, so Danny stole the file from her drawer with Jazz’s help, and did it himself.
He’s familiar with anger, he thought he was getting better at it these days. It doesn’t come to him as easily as it did before. Of course, that was before Jason died.
Danny is less familiar with grief. Caring kills and Gotham kills the caring, so Danny cares very little about other people. Or he tries to. But grief hurts. His grief hurts. It hurts too much. It hurts like a bug trying to crawl out of his chest; like a rat chewing a hole through his heart. Some days he wants to dig his hands into his hair and split himself down the middle. Some days he just wants to scream.
He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead.
He wants the whole city to hear him wailing, some days. It sticks itself in the back of his throat like bile, and Danny is one wrong retch away from letting it loose. It sticks in his lungs like all the tar he’s smoked in since he was nine. It pushes and aches at his temples, in his head, like his brain is trying to swell out of his skull. His thoughts becoming so loud they threaten to commandeer his tongue.
He has no mouth, but he must scream.
Something they don’t tell you about being dead is that it hurts. That it hurts more than when you were alive. Something they don’t tell you about being dead is that it’s violent. That it’s bloody. Or as bloody as it can be when everyone has no blood.
Another thing they don’t tell you about being dead, is that it’s a lot like Gotham that way.
With no threat of death, Danny’s enemies forget death itself. Blood comes easy, like water, and teeth are encouraged. Bring your own fangs to the fight. Dying is something you can just walk off.
Danny’s been dead for three months. He can’t say he’s been walking it off easy. He’s perfected the art of turning his nails into claws since his heart was still beating, but he can’t say he’s perfected fighting other ghosts.
Scrappy is just not enough.
He feels like he’s back in Gotham again. Back in her death-shroud alleyways, fighting someone bigger than him. But there’s no Jason to watch his back, and Danny has to get himself out of there alone. Or he might just not get up at all.
Black eyes, busted lips. It’s familiar to him like an old scent, Danny isn’t quite sure that he’s missed it. It’s more familiar than his fights with Dash.
But there’s no one else who can do it but him. Not Sam, not Tucker. He can’t lose them too. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t. His heart can’t take another break, he already feels like he’s going insane.
With no threat of death, Danny’s enemies fight like death themself. He learns why when Technus puts a street sign through his stomach one day. It pins him to the asphalt like a moth pinned by its wings.
Danny claws at the metal like how an animal caught in a trap chews off its leg, and every move is blinding pain. He thinks he was howling, but it’s hard to tell. He couldn’t recognize the sound of his voice.
He bleeds green. It mixes in black with the pitch blackhole in his heart, which throbs and twists and cries in time with his reckless panic. The finger-choking terror of dying again strangles out the air he doesn’t need. His blood evaporates, only to reabsorb into him. It just bleeds out again, cycling like a snake eating its own tail.
Danny breaks his nails clawing at the metal, and eventually gets it in his mind to pull it out. So he does, and the end drips ectoplasm green as he gets to his feet. In red-vision, Danny sends the sign back with snarling, vicious fervor. The pain is irrelevant in his rage.
Only after the fight does the hole the pole left start to close. Danny doesn’t shift human until it’s gone. Unlike other injuries, a scar stays behind. Ugly; mottled, it aches for a week with every twist and stretch his body makes. He hates it.
Being dead is agony.
Every part of him is in pain. Every step, every word he speaks, everything he does, it is prerequisite with pain. The body is temporary, but the soul is forever, and death has carved into it with its freezing green hands and left him with never-ending heartache. It has torn from him and stolen what of him it could, and in return it’s left him with sorrow.
His pain is his grief, and he’s sobbed in the safety of his room more times than he can count. It’s still as fresh as the day he heard the news of Jason’s death. He knows, instinctively, that it will stay fresh forever.
In his room, Danny shoves his hands over his mouth and shrieks in whatever, muffled way he can into his pillow. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. He needs to be louder. He needs to be heard. He refuses to be.
Being dead hurts.
#tw mild gore#cw mild blood#cw mentioned violence#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#dp x dc crossover#dead on main#dp x dc au#dp x dc fanfic#cfau#cfau danny#obsessed with the fact that danny just has the WORST fucking time after jason dies and baby i can make it worse#*kills you and makes you a banshee and puts you in an irrevocable state of grief*#delicious angst. danny is having the wORSt time ever lol. lmao even#was originally meant to explore the idea that danny can survive lethal injuries as phantom. which briefly got mentioned.#but i got away from myself. leaning reaaal heavy into the fact that danny's a banshee. At 19 he's got a pretty good handle of himself#but imagine being a fresh out the gate banshee. usually they get time to themselves in the zone to cry until their heart's content.#sorry danny. you have school tomorrow and family sleeping in the bedroom next door#kinda proud of myself. you can kinda see how Rath would've occurred here.#danny is going through it rn#was gonna add a snippet about the city's thoughts on phantom but couldnt fit it in
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No bc fuck tim but it really really bothers me how people ignore his growth like he used to be an asshole and I’ll give tim Stans one thing: now he’s so so so stale but what I disagree with is that this staleness is bc nobody likes him like it’s in fact the exact opposite where everyone likes him so much they dont want to do anything. Even when it’s him surface level challenging Bruce it’s when everyone else is doing it too; but he’s still the backbone of the fam! Etc. and it’s so irritating bc him gaining more compassion and empathy even for people he doesn’t fw is so fun to watch and that’s why the captain boomerang thing was so out of character! (Not in a from the author way but in a tim wouldn’t do that and he and Bruce both knew it which is why it went down like it did. Same way dick killing joker was ooc; not in fanon sense but in a he would hate himself forever for this sense) and speaking of that it’s such an interesting mirror to Bruce who genuinely believes that everyone can grow vs Tim’s it doesn’t matter if they grow it’s not my decision to make like it’s the same but it’s not AND WITH CASS’ IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO GROW I WONT DO IT! like ugh. And anyways even when people acknowledge it they boil it down to “Janet and Jack taught him that the capitalist pigs that they are” like no. This is who tim was. Tim was the kind of guy who’d blame a dead kid for dying. That’s ok. Also Janet and Jack? Please reread anything involving them that’s not a fic like Jack had anger issues and they were both aloof at worst like relax.
#the Jack and Janet thing is both an understatement and an exaggeration but I don’t think anyone reads enough to care#some tim stan might get all pissy and be like ‘no look this is everytime jack yelled at him and boarding schools are abusive’ to which#and its like narratively that means nothing bc the tim you made up to justify the Drake parents you made up by blowing shit out of#proportion is also made up and if all of that was abusive there’d be smth to show for it besides ur homophobic Jack#too girlboss to care but still terrible Janet bc god forbid a woman have a personality from ur fics#anyways that’s also the reason I’m ignoring the council of spiders#well two reasons#first is that was just a moment to make tim look cool and did absolutely nothing for him or his character moving on#like at all#I’d say it fucked with his previous established dislike of killing for his own reasons#and while that COULD be interesting it’s not bc they didn’t do shit with it#and fanon doesn’t do fun shit with it either#nothing about how tim in his most manic state did shit he doesn’t want to remember shit he’d HATE other ppl for#just “���remember what I did to ur base Ra’s? mess with me again and see what I do next 😼’#like ok can you be real and genuine?#anyways I think#AND NOT IN A HATER WAY#Tim would benefit from being humbled#like genuinely I detest the world can’t move without tim running it but the idea that tim thinks that way is so good to me#and#I think next step being him realizing that’s not true would be a BIG push for his character#bc like I said tim Stans are right in the fact that he’s stale as hell rn#but that’s bc there’s nothing to say bc there’s nowhere to go! y’all want a tim action story where he shows off how badass he is reread#the Bruce quest and maybe it’ll remind you he’s not ceo lmao but anyways there’s nothing internal to say about him atp bc nobody wants to#say anything that’s not propping him up. same with Bruce! Gotham war was such a copout but it’s like ppl are saying he’s stale and it’s bc#god forbid he makes a lasting fumble. and I’m not under the illusion this is new I’m just saying it’s weird that fandoms not clocking it#anywayyys I really do like thinking about the No killing rule and how different it manifests for each perosn#like the way each distinct difference tells u so much about them#UGH ONLY SLIGHTLY RELATED BUT DUUUUUKE BEING LIKE IDGAF ABOUT GUNS LIKE UR SO REAAAL#anyways enough tim positivity for today FUCK THAT NIGGA!
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MOM HOLY FUCK
#I RISE FROM THE DEAD TO REPORT THIS BREAKING NEWS#HE'S REAL. THE ZHONGLI NENDO IS REAAAL#I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME#IT'S BEEN OVER 2 YEARS SINCE HIS NENDO WAS ANNOUNCED WE ARE SO BACK#HE'S SO FUCKING MEEPY!?#SO SMALL SO CUTE SO HANDSOME#AND THE CHUNKLI?? PLEASE ILL CRY#◈ ░ out of order ⌜ooc⌟
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this is what happens when i decide to stay up late and ooo la la la by teena marie infects my papenathy brain
#random drabble or something#i just needed to let a brainworm out#it's the way that you feel when you know it's reaaal!#oooo la la la#tsh#the secret history#richard papen#francis abernathy#might be inaccurate to their personalities/if teena marie was even active during their time bit what-fucking-ever#not necessarily papenathy but u could interpret it as papenathy#also papenathy sounds beautiful#like a butterfly or something#i'm crazy i just miss them#nobody look at me
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miss him (fictional bisexual emo from a 2015 webnovel)
#u don't know how much he means to me. He is for real just like me#i mean they both are I have never felt so recognized as I did during like. every scene featuring bernd#i was like oh wow I'm not the only one with a shitty stepdad that's unable to express emotions and is always picking a fight#and is like a ticking time bomb to be around. what the heck?!#but I also find sven and svenjas relationship so adorable and reaaal as fuck they're like me and my brother...#bullying each other but still can't live without the other#codependent traumatized siblings representation!!!!!!!!#sven is the only reason im still bisexual (and because girls are beautiful and I'd love to be someones cringefail loser boyfriend)
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danny ana aj im calling you by name fuck all of you and fuck you for ghosting my boyfriend after years of friendship fuck you bitches
#vent post#noo for reaaal though i always thought you were normie af secretly ableist transmisogynistic weirdos but actually actually-- yall are basic#yall arent doing half of what you think you are. you communicate EXTREMELY indirectly and refuse to have responsible caring relationships#you only care about looks and dont actually give a fuck who someone is as a person#youd rather ghost than respond to thoughtful messages reaching out and you drop people that held you up & supported you for YEARS#over boundaries and expectations you literally never communicated and that were NEVER consented to#so fuck you im done being nice fuck you all i hope you dont feel satisfied with yourselves until you learn whatever lesson you need to#bc you really really dont know how to be a caring member of a community you actually abandon people when it gets hard to communicate#then stay in contact with actual abusers wtf#like thank god I dont need yall yall are seriously weird and make me anxious as fuck#text#learning & growing.for example even NBs can have white woman syndrome. my bestie has been trying to tell me...if only i had listened...#ah well theres more fish in the sea and thankfully my bf has a wealth of incredibly stable & loving connections so truly he doesnt need yal#even tho this hurt him and i honeslty want you to suffer for it but w/e i gotta let this go before it affects me more than it already has#you catty insignificant bitches FUUUCCKKKKKKkk *kills kills dies gnashes beating killing killing fight beating death beating to death aaaaa#*
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🧍♂️
#I need to heavily lean into the Not All aspect like Reaaal hard#there just happens to be a subset of people that see alucard and integra’s relationship as a way to bastardize her character#I don’t have the words for it now but there’s a disconnect like something isn’t lining up but maybe my dyke lens fuck it up#they are t4t but in like a buddy besties girlboss type of way#hellsing fans please let me hold onto my sweet dear butch transmasc integra please there are none of us in anything let me have her#but she’s a tsundere-yeah she was raised around people whose only outwardly expressed emotion was probably anger#firm believer that girlboss and dyke are different genders and I need everyone to get on my level#baby integra: all girls feel uncomfortable performing femininity and it’s just something I’ll learn to do maybe in my 20s or 30s or 40s or#alucard: girlie….nvm#I have so many thoughts about this someone shut me up#scared to tag this because the potential for conflict is Beyond potent#ehhhhughhhghhhhhhhhhhh 💔#hellsing#talkingcore#✌️🥺✌️ ass
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AYO EVERYONE WITH AN OMORI OC GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW WE HOLDIN AN OMORI OC GET-TOGETHER
OMORI OC GET-TOGETHER !!!!!! YES !!! GRHUDJKFM<WHN!!!!
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brutalmoose cranking it in last video!!!!! real!!!!
#i really should get on that fanart i wanted to do... </333#i wish i could do it in real paint but I don't have enough skills for oil paints + nor enough money + not enough space to paint this#without getting intoxicated by the fumes and to let it dry safely#and again. expensive#all the gouache and acrylic paints i have are reaaal cheap#i did get myself that himi gouache palette for my bday last year!!! but idk if i'll do good with it i need some practice#i truly have A Vision in my head#anyway will do it digitally as this way i can fuck it up and fix it without feeling bad for wasting material/not being able to fix it#yipee#tomtom_is_rambling
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Ok but all throughout my trimax skim yesterday I had in the back of my mind that All Of This was experienced by itnl vash
Right up until the moment he goes back in time. Now that was surreal.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#reaching the exact moment and going 'ok HERES where things stop being relevant to itnl'#at least directly. for now.#it was also interesting to see all the shit going on in the background which vash would have NOOO idea about#he might have the Slightest clue about the terran shit. considering he meets them briefly#but for most of all that. he was too busy fighting. he didnt see Any of it go down.#he would not know that elendira had a fucking atomic bomb.#which oh god elendira has a fucking atomic bomb. im still reeling over that.#I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED THAT!!!!!! ELENDIRA HAS AN ATOMIC BOMB!!!!!!#which. well. we'll see what i can do about that for itnl LMFAO#i do not want her to set off the atomic bomb! thanks!#ill think of something. things r gonna be reaaal loosey goosey in that timeframe anyways lol#many differences. cant wait to see it.
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i LOoOOVe being the same ethnicity as emily bc that means i get to project all my experiences onto her
that being said: she has family in hawaii and she DEFINITELY has hosted her friends there once or twice before (she's rich)
#mine#text#emily davis#until dawn#(emily voice) (towards her friends while doing some dumbfuckery on the trip SHE mainly paid for) fuck you guys for real#also at tumblr user juvederm. tjhey can finally have that until dawn beach episode#even though its reaaal annoying when ppl reduce hawaii down to just beaches and other tourist-y spots#but dont listne to me abt that shit listen to native hawaiians#just know that it pisses me off LOL#my emily tag#my UD tag#UD#my thoughts
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fucking 3am meal time. beans in red sauce, potato cubes, tinned fish, egg, and 2 slices of gf bread. livin la vida loca babey. honk mimimimimi after this
#personal#food#he eats like some sort of midieval english guy#it was the only food that i had that was reasonable to make. pasta is a whole process and i had no sauce.#also just had pasta. dont want more fucking pasta.#i need to go grocery shopping reaaal bad but have zero meal ideas god save us all#id love to get broccoli but its insanely expensive and mostly fucking stem anyways and its like. how many people use the stem.#our harvest fucking sucks recently#zucchini are big as shit no problem but a fucking big head of broccoli isn't doable huh
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I dont care how bad my life gets im not getting a fucking therapist
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PAUSE. TRUMP HASN'T EVEN PICKED A VP AND HE'S STILL THE PRESUMPTIVE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE?
#jesus christ it really is a cult isn't it#rest in peace to the GOP honestly#he literally fucking shot it point blank#i don't think it will ever recover in my lifetime#oh my GOD the federal government is a fucking joke#what a circus#CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER:#BANKROLLING A GENOCIDE VS WHITE SUPREMACY!#other fighters? what like a 3rd party?#what are you a russian psyop? KYS dummy leftist go do reaaal work bluhbluhbluh#please learn about your local level officials#pay attention to that and vote there#fucking please#syndesinae.txt
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I've been having such a Day™ . need some positivity and preferably some ego boosting . anybun wanna confess a crush on me orrr
#➳ the fool speaks#ok that last bit is silly but GOD#i need something to make me feel all good about myself again#manifesting something reaaal good to happen to me bc i also have fucking homework and tumblr is cut off from our wifi#at home so . i can barely fucking be on here . until i finish every single thing i have assigned . soo . fucking yayyy
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