#be all end all is dont talk down to me at all
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Oops undertale rant
"oh i really love xyz character-" really? outside the context of shipping?
#sans#while shiping could be argued#im talking about when we made him realy edgy and hurt about his innocent cinnomon roll [/sarc] brother dies and he kills and is depressed#like yeah theres truth to it but its like.. not his full character#hes a relaxed charming fellow who cares about his brother very much#he likes to tell jokes because its the one thing monsters have down in the underground#i wish we explored the pacifist side more or even neutral#i still haven't explored all the neutral endings but they are intresting#THIS IS COMING FROM A KID WHO WAS VERY INTO EDGY CHARA SANS BATTLE FANART BTW LIKE ALOT SO#<- and i still like this stuff i just wish it wasnt the biggest focus ever#oh dont get me started on chara im going to bed#undertale
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STAY WITH ME
pairing; rafe cameron x sweetie reader
summary; being with rafe means being with the camerons which means going to large events full of businessmen and looking pretty while your boyfriend makes his face known. these events are the kinds of things you can’t get out of, even if you are absolutely not in the right headspace and being there will cause more of an inconvenience for you and rafe than not
content; subspace, ddlg themes, thumb sucking, fingering, ‘dad’ nickname
authors note; re upload!
you walk into the venue, hanging from rafe’s arm like an accessory. your dress is uncomfortable, your heels are rubbing at your feet, your hair is pulled back and it’s hurting your scalp. normally these are all things that you can put up with for the few hours that these functions last for, but today you’re not feeling right, you’ve been using your head for too long and you need to be taken care of right now.
that’s not an option, rafe had made that ever so obvious when you’d nearly slipped away in the car trying to mouth at his neck. he’d told you that you can’t stop thinking right now, and he is not going to be letting you slip away until after the function when you’re back in the security of your own home.
you’re halfway gone already whether he likes it or not, inside the venue he has to keep you close to his side, and he doesn’t miss that absent look in your eyes. you stay quiet while he mingles with many businessmen whom you do not know, answering with nothing but little incoherent murmurs when you’re addressed.
rafe chuckles, “excuse me sirs,” he looks down at you and then back up again, “my girlfriend is feeling… under the weather tonight.” he explains before turning away, taking you with him. as you both walk towards the dining hall he leans down to speak to you, “can’t do this right now.” he tells you, “you’re gonna keep being a big girl like I’ve told you to, ‘kay?” it’s not a question, it’s a command, you must stay there, stay with rafe.
“m’trying.” you huff, still leaning against him, trying to be as close to him as you can, “it’s hard… just need you dad..” you look up at him with wide eyes. you need him to get it, you need to have him take care of you.
“dont care, you’re gonna hold out okay?” and that is the end of the conversation as you take your place in your assigned seats for the meal. rose is next to you, ward is next to rafe. there are two more businessmen at the table, each accompanied by their wives.
you take a moment to look at the set menu. it’s all fancy shit that you don’t want! you want to be at home, this stupid function is so dumb. you need to stop thinking, but you can’t.
you’re half tuned into the small talk of the table when the waiters bring out starters. steak tartare. you have to stop yourself from gagging when it’s placed in front of you, what an abomination of food. you can’t believe that the concept of riches became, and this is what they came up with for it.
you don’t manage one bite before subtly spitting it out into your napkin. you can’t do this anymore, you can’t sit here, you can’t think anymore. you push your chair back and stand up, lip wobbling as you don’t even make an excuse before you push your chair back and stand up.
upon realising that you’ve drawn eyes, you send rafe an urgent look and he sighs in deep annoyance before standing with you. “excuse us. she has an upset stomach.” he makes something up before placing a hand on your lower back and starting to walk you towards the restroom.
rafe pushes the door open and leads you inside. it’s a large, rather extravagant bathroom. there’s a parting area where the sink is, and then another door leading to the toilet area. rafe ushers you in and takes you to the counter where the sink is, lifting you up to sit on it. it seems he’s finally accepted that you can’t hold out in this headspace anymore.
you sniffle, it’s all crashing down on you now, finally in a private space with the one such unlikely person that you feel safe with. “I need-”
“I know.” he cuts you off, sighing exasperatedly, but his gaze softens and he brings his hand up to your face, tapping your bottom lip with his thumb so you can take it in and suck, “need dad. m’here.” he speaks defeatedly.
you take his thumb thankfully, closing your eyes and finally allowing yourself to slip into that oh so happy place. your whole body relaxes and you find yourself falling forward to be supported by his upper body where he stands in between your legs in front of the counter.
“there you go,” he sighs, reluctantly providing the care that you need from him. “just suck on dad’s thumb.” he rubs your back, letting you fully relax into your headspace. you feel serene, all of your troubles melting away. you’re safe now. safe with dad.
he sighs, “can never do this when it’s convenient can you?” even though the most prominent tone in his voice is clear frustration, you only allow yourself to notice the small amount of affection. it brings you great comfort, and with no understanding of his rhetorical question, you nod against his shoulder.
he chuckles, rubbing your back, “m’gonna take care of you, then you’re gonna be my big girl again until the end of this thing,” he presents, pulling you back so that your wide eyes make contact with his. “think that’s fair?”
you look up, “don’t wanna be a big girl,” you shake your head, “want to stay with dad.” you tell him, voice quiet from being relaxed, and warbled around the digit that remains in your mouth.
he tuts gently, “gotta compromise,” he tells you, curling his thumb in your mouth just a little to cause you some sensation. “can you do that? make a compromise for dad?” he raises his eyebrows, making a clear command, not a request.
you huff moodily, but you nod, knowing that if you don’t do as he says then you’ll be forced to come out of this headspace much sooner than what would be your compromise. “just,” you start, pulling his thumb from your mouth for a second so that you can talk, “just look after me now dad. please?”
he nods, “alright, alright.” his hand comes down, thumb now soaked in saliva. he slips it under the short skirt of your dress and brushes your clit through the lace of your underwear, making you shiver from much needed stimulation.
you shift around slightly on the marble counter, allowing your skirt to ride up a little and bunch around your hips. rafe pulls your panties to the side, revealing your glossy cunt to him, making your need for him so obvious.
he smirks, and his thumb brushes through your folds, as you react physically he supports you like a pillar, strong and sturdy and there for you. you let yourself go limp against him and he lets himself push two fingers inside.
slowly but surely, he starts to finger you, and he does it good. he doesn’t treat you like this often, normally there must be something in it for him. so it’s such a relief when he does something specifically for you, just for you.
you relax into bliss for what easily feels like hours even though it’s not. pleasure that reaches you so well, so deeply like it’s in your bones. you open your mouth, nearly biting his shoulder to muffle the noises that you want to make. there’s sure to be a large patch of slobber there when you’re done but you don’t care.
your whole body squirms, as much as it can in this limited space of movement. your legs shake, and your belly ripples with every wave of blissful pleasure that washes over you.
you can barely think of where you are by the time that climax finally reaches you. all thoughts leave your mind and the only thing you can do is whimper a small “oh, dad!” as it happens. it lasts you a minute, and you are completely out of breath afterwards.
“hey,” rafe pushes you up from where you lay limp on his shoulder, “gonna come back to me now,” he tells you, “come back to rafe.”
rafe. rafe. rafe. you don’t want to, you want to stay with dad in this thoughtless state of mind. but it’s not an option, so you must return to your uncomfortable, half gone headspace for the rest of the night until he can take you home and be dad for real. not quickly and rushed like this.
with great difficulty and great reluctance, you nod. “rafe,” you murmur sadly, “m’here with you rafe.”
rafe smiles affectionately, “there you go, good girl.”
#lily writes 𝜗𝜚#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron concept#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron
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lie to girls [l.jn]
you don't have to lie to girls. if they like you, they'll just lie to themselves.
MDNI, 18+
SUMMARY | it was hard watching jeno struggle with his relationship, but it was even harder when he ran to you for comfort every time. especially when you, his long-time best friend, have been in love with him for the longest time. but when jeno starts lying about where he’s going and who he’s with, you realize the biggest lie might be the one you’re telling yourself—that he’ll ever choose you. or girls will cry, and girls will lie, and girls will lose their goddamn minds for you.
PAIRING | bff!jeno x afab!reader (x univ student!jaemin)
CONTENT | university!au, best friends to ?, angst, infidelity (no i do not condone this), swearing, miscommunication, drinking, smut (fingering, oral [f receiving], nipple play, unprotected sex [dont do this], dirty talk, few degrading names, perv!jeno, voyeurism? [listening in], masturbation, cream pie), lowercase intended, doesn’t end in angst
FEATURING | nct dream, nct 127’s jaehyun, aespa’s karina & winter, le sserafim’s chaewon & yunjin, txt’s soobin, the boyz’s eric
WORDS | 25,9k
PLAYLIST | lie to girls – sabrina carpenter, everytime – ariana grande, focus – niki, wildflower – billie eilish, cry – cigarettes after sex
A/N | quick disclaimer that this is all fiction, and my depiction of the characters i used is far from reality. i wanted to make the characters (mostly y/n and jeno) a bit flawed but idk dont think too heavily and please read with an open heart and mind. enjoy! likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated (leaving feedback would be great!) <3
“hey.” jeno greeted you, standing at your front door, which only meant one thing. they fought again.
you pushed the door wider, letting him inside. he looked like a mess, his shoulders slumped, dark bags around his eyes, hair disheveled. even from afar, you could tell he was going through something. his phone was in his hand, checking for notifications, but he let out a huge sigh when the home screen was empty.
“do i even want to know?” you prodded, eyes watching him as he plopped down on the couch. his head tilted back on the headrest, mind filled with thoughts.
“you know how she is.” jeno mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. “said she needed some space.”
unfortunately, i do know how she is. jeno’s girlfriend, karina. they’ve been together since first year of college when jeno met her at some random party. they were the kind of couple on campus that, at first glance, seemed perfect, but you knew all too well what kind of chaos haunted them in private. you were too familiar with how she behaved with jeno; most of the time, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
jeno didn’t even have to say anything when you saw him at your front door. you have grown accustomed to this pattern: the same heartache, apologies, and cycle of hope and disappointment. and every time it occurred, jeno ended up here—at your door, at your couch, sulking.
you wanted nothing more than to scold jeno for letting himself get run over by her, but you kept your lips sealed. deciding that giving him comfort and support was what he needed right now.
“again, huh?” you sat down on the opposite side of him, tucking your legs beneath you.
“i don’t even know what that means, y/n.” jeno sighed, running his hand through his hair. he lifted his head to face you, gaze soft as he held eye contact with you. “one minute, everything’s perfect, and we’re fine, but suddenly, i’ve apparently done something wrong, and she won't even tell me.” his voice cracked, hopelessness evident in his tone. it pained you to see him like this. how many times is he going to let her do this to him?
“well, did you do something wrong?” you asked, but you knew jeno too well, he wouldn’t do anything to sabotage his relationship. sure, he has made mistakes in the past, but he was a good person, a good friend, and a good lover, you suppose.
jeno stayed silent for a moment, recalling if he had done something to make his girlfriend upset. “i–no, at least i don’t think so.” he shook his head, “i’ve just been busy with classes, but i always make time for her. and everything we’re together, i always try to make it special. you know?”
you nodded along to his words, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you have heard this story countless times, you could probably recite it to him. it wasn’t unusual for karina to act like this; she’d get upset over something vague, and then jeno would beat himself up for it, but he’d still bend over backward to get her back.
“maybe she’s just going through something?” you said, trying to think of what to say to ease his mind.
you and karina were acquaintances at best. it’s not like you didn’t try to be her friend, but something about her attitude seems so off-putting. you weren’t entirely sure if karina was fond of you either. of course, you never told jeno any of these. you knew he wouldn’t listen, not when it comes to her. he loves her. he’d return to her every time, like a moth to a flame. and you’d be there, picking up the pieces when he got burned.
“i wish she’d just tell me what’s on her mind instead of leaving me wondering what i did wrong.” his face twisted into frustration with a mix of confusion.
“jen, you know i can’t help you if you don’t tell her what you’re feeling.” this time, you couldn’t hold back. “you’re supposed to tell her these, not me.”
jeno flinched at your words, somehow unsatisfied with your advice. “yeah… you’re right.”
you watched his expression, his eyebrows furrowed while he was deep in thought. “i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear.” you hesitated, knowing you were treading dangerous waters. “i just think… you deserve someone who actually appreciates you.”
jeno stayed silent, processing your words as if he hadn’t told himself that a million times. but for some stupid reason, he couldn’t keep it in his head. he looked down at his phone, tapping the screen once more, but to his disappointment, there was still nothing. “i know you’re just looking out for me, y/n. but… i just can’t give up on her. not yet.”
and just like that, you could feel him slipping away, back into her orbit, leaving you alone with all the things you couldn’t say, wondering when he would run back to you again.
“class dismissed.” the professor announced loudly, making you snap out of your dozy state. you weren't even sure if you paid attention to class today.
you quickly gathered your stuff, students leaving the lecture hall one by one. your phone buzzed in your pocket, fishing for it, you read the message from mark.
mark: yo dude heard jaehyun’s throwing a party tomorrow, wanna come? mark: also i think i saw jeno and she-who-must-not-be-named together
struggling to balance your laptop in one hand and type on your phone with the other; you barely noticed a figure stepping in front of you—until they bumped into you, sending you off balance.
“oh my god!” a familiar voice shrieked, karina. you lifted your head to see her arms linked with jeno. her faced mixed with shock and annoyance.
“sorry!” you mumbled, quickly gathering your belongings to be more composed.
“hey, y/n.” jeno smiled at you, your chest tightened at his bright face. after he visited you a week ago, you haven’t heard much from him, aside from his occasional responses in the group chat you share with mark and haechan. all you knew was he was busy trying to get his girlfriend back. you weren’t sure if they made up, given that he hadn’t contacted you at all, but seeing as they were currently inseparable, you could probably guess their relationship right now.
karina patted down her skirt and top as if she were the one who practically fell. “y/n!” as if it was on cue, she flashed you a smile. “haven’t seen you in a hot minute. you going to jaehyun’s tomorrow?” you felt sick to your stomach. something was unsettling about how karina spoke to you, or maybe it was all in your head, and you were thinking too deeply about it.
you hesitated, glancing down at your phone, rereading mark’s message. did you really want to spend an entire night seeing jeno and karina pressed up against each other now that they were back together?
“i might.” you sent her a small smile, “mark and haechan are going, i think i’ll tag along.” glancing at jeno for a second, who was intently staring at you. a pit formed in your stomach at the sight of him, he looked better compared to last week—more relaxed, at ease.
“great!” karina clapped her hands together, “we’ll see you there.” she took Jeno’s hand, pulling him away with a little more force than necessary. he stumbled slightly, laughing as they disappeared down the hall, his voice echoing through the space and leaving a familiar ache in your chest.
you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the interaction, and texted mark back.
you: where are u? need someone to talk to
“are you even surprised at this point?” mark let out, mouth filled with the sandwich he was munching on. you were both seated in the field of the campus, deciding to reconnect with mother nature after the encounter you just had. you told mark about how you saw them together and how jeno looked happy again. you stayed silent at his comment, closing your eyes as you basked in the sunlight. “how’d you feel seeing them together?”
mark knew you too well. he was one of the people you confided in about your feelings for jeno. him and chaewon, your roommate. in the same way, jeno kept running to you when he was heartbroken, you ran to mark and chaewon whenever you were in the same cycle.
just as jeno used you as his safe place, you had mark and chaewon. they were the ones who listened when you cried, over and over, thinking that maybe this time he’d see you differently. and every time, they were the ones who held you every time you fell down.
you were in love with jeno. how could you not be? you grew up together, spending your childhood years nearly every second of the day. you were there to witness every version of him—his awkward phase in middle school with braces and bowl haircut, the high school years when he was navigating through puberty, and now, the college student jeno admired by everyone.
you were there for it all.
you were six when you witnessed jeno’s first tooth falling out. you couldn’t forget the way the blood dripped from his mouth, making you bawl, yet he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the tooth on his hand.
you were ten when jeno first learned how to ride a bike. he came knocking on your door to show off his skills, but he fell and scraped his knees within five seconds of riding it.
you were thirteen when jeno came to you when he had his heart was broken. he wrote a letter to his crush admitting his feelings for her, but he came crying to you when he got rejected for the first time in his life.
you were eighteen when you and jeno sat in front of your laptops, awaiting the email of the university you had both applied to. you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around each other and squeal when you found out you both had been accepted.
however, you were sixteen when you first well in love with jeno. it was during prom when you got stood up by your date. jeno saw you sulking in the corner of the room, and without hesitation, he ditched his prom date to be with you for the rest of the night. he brought you to the dance floor and danced with you through every song.
every adult in your life was convinced you two would end up getting married due to your closeness, which he would always deny. each phase, each moment with jeno, made you realize how hard you were falling for him. he was your best friend, the only constant in your life. somewhere along the lines, you realized that friendship wasn’t enough for you.
but for jeno, it was the complete opposite. sure, he loved you, loved having you around, but there was this line between the two of you—one he never dared to cross. he was focused on finding love elsewhere, and it never occurred to him to look for it in the person who was always in front of him. you would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t pain you that he has never once looked for love in you.
“does it even matter?” you sighed, feeling the sun dance across your skin. “you know he’ll always run back to her.”
“yeah, because you never told him how you felt.” mark scoffed, setting his half-eaten sandwich down while wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “who knows? maybe he feels the same.”
“don’t.” you warned him, sending him a glare while he just sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. it was too painful to entertain the idea, too exhausting to keep hoping. you were just his best friend, the person he ran to when he needed comfort, but never the person he’d choose. you hated it. you hated waiting around like a lost puppy for him. “can we just talk about something else, please.”
mark hummed, his eyes roaming around the campus. “why don’t you let loose at jaehyun’s party tomorrow? maybe even look for someone to distract you from him.”
you chuckled, hugging your knees to your chest. “if only it were that easy.”
it’s not like you didn’t try to suppress your feelings for jeno. in fact, you did everything you could think of, even going to great lengths such as downloading a dating app—due to haechan’s insistence to attempt casual flings, kissing random strangers at parties, and even having one-night stands with people from campus. yet no matter how hard you tried, your feelings for jeno still crept up like a shadow you couldn’t escape.
there were moments where you thought you were okay and accepted that you don’t always get what you want in life—until a memory of him would hit you out of nowhere, and you’re back to square one. you get reminded of his laughter, the soft eye-smile he would give you whenever he spotted you in a crowd, and his goofy side, which only came out when he was around you. the memories haunted you whenever you least expected it, and no dating app or reckless decision could erase them.
chaewon stood in front of your closet; arms crossed against her chest as she inspected your wardrobe. you were not afraid to dress slutty, in fact, you had a fair share of provocative clothes stashed somewhere in your closet. but the way chaewon was staring at your wardrobe made you rethink all your fashion choices.
“i should really take you out shopping more often.” she mumbled, more to herself than to you. she began rummaging through the hung clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight. “you’re wasting so much potential.”
you raised an eyebrow, “i think i look fine.” watching as she pulled out different articles of clothing.
“fine isn’t going to get you laid.” chaewon turned to face you, a bunch of different colored tops in her arms. “we need something that screams, ‘fuck you, lee jeno, look what you’re missing out on.’”
you’ve mentioned to her that jeno and karina would be there as a couple again. and she—as the most supportive best friend—made it her personal mission to make you look like the hottest bitch in the party, just to flaunt what jeno had been too blind to see. she wasn’t about to let you shrink in the shadows of jeno and karina’s perfect little bubble. she wanted to make sure that all eyes would be on you.
you sat on the bed, watching her make a mess out of your closet. “i’m not even sure if i’m ready to put myself out there.” you sighed.
chaewon shot you a pointed look, the kind you’d see on your disappointed friend's face. “please. this is why we need to get you into the sluttiest clothes ever. you need to stop thinking of him and start thinking of yourself, y/n.”
chaewon’s words hung heavy in the air. she was right. you needed to stop playing the part of a background character in jeno’s life. it was getting exhausting, and you weren’t sure how long you could keep pretending like it didn’t bother you at all.
“you’re right.” you murmured, fingers playing with another.
her face lit up as she pulled out a black leather mini skirt, paired with a tight red crop top that accentuates your curves perfectly. you forgot you even owned these. “found it!” she squealed, showing you her discovery. “perfect. you look hot in red.” shaking your head at her enthusiasm, you let out a laugh. she chucked you the clothes, taking the sign to go change into them. “babe, if jeno’s dick doesn’t stand up the second he sees you in this, then maybe he is blind!” sending you a wink as you walked into the bathroom.
as you changed into your new outfit, your stomach couldn’t help but flip as you stared into your reflection. chaewon was right, you did look hot in these clothes. you felt silly for putting this much effort into jeno, who would most likely give you a half-assed hug in return.
you shook your head as you tried to push him out of your thoughts. deciding to adjust your top just enough to show off the perfect amount of cleavage. you had to focus on yourself. whether or not jeno would notice you didn’t matter anymore. you were going to have fun.
“dang! look at you.” mark whistled as you walked into the kitchen where he and haechan were situated, with drinks in their hands.
you felt your cheeks heat up under mark’s approving gaze. haechan, on the other hand, was shamelessly checking you out. “was this chaewon’s doing? because, wow, you look amazing.”
their flirting wasn’t something out of the ordinary; you were close friends who knew when to boost each other’s confidence. you couldn’t help but laugh at their comments, eyes wandering around the place. jaehyun’s place was filled with students dancing, chatting, and drinking. lights flashing from the makeshift led lights he probably put up, the crowd bathing in neon lights. the air was thick with sweat, perfume, and cheap alcohol. the music was being managed by johnny, who was the designated dj for tonight.
“looking for someone?” mark teased as he watched you scan the environment, nudging heachan with his elbow, who was smirking.
“no,” you lied, but you knew they could see right through you. “just looking around.” haechan nodded, but his expression showed that you were being dishonest. he handed you a red plastic cup filled with something that smelled fruity but strong. you silently thanked him before drowning the alcohol down your throat. you couldn’t help but wince at the intense flavor.
“you sure? not looking for someone in particular?” mark chuckled, taking a sip from his cup.
before you could come up with a response, you felt a hand on your shoulder. your body froze before turning around to see who it was. of course, it was who you expected—jeno, with his usual eye smile—enough to brighten up the room. karina, who looked as beautiful as ever, was attached to his side with a smile on her face.
your heart sank, but you kept your expression light, flashing the couple a smile while locking eyes with jeno. you nearly missed the way his eyes traveled down your frame, but you weren’t sure if it was because you were intoxicated or you just wanted him to check you out. you swore his eyes lightly widened, but his gaze returned to karina as if nothing happened.
“hey guys.” jeno greeted, eyes wandering between the three of you but landing on you. you shifted beneath his gaze but shook it off; he was your best friend, of course. you gave him and karina a polite nod, although your stomach was churning at the sight of them.
“jeno!” haechan exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, making karina lightly lose her balance. her expression grew sour at haechan’s actions. “we missed you, man.” he jokingly puckered his lips to plant a kiss on his cheek, but jeno just laughed and tried to dodge his lips.
“here you go, dude.” mark handed jeno and karina a drink which they accepted and drank. the air suddenly felt tight, your chest pounding, so you looked at mark for help. he sensed your uneasiness, placing his cup down on the counter. “alright! time to dance, y/n, come with me.” mark grabbed your hand, guiding you towards the dance floor, feeling a gaze on you as you left the kitchen.
the music was deafeningly loud, bodies bumping into each other as you navigated the living room. you mumbled an apology to every person you hit, nearly stumbling, but mark’s grip on you saved you. once you finally found a spot, you let loose, moving to the rhythm as the lights flashed overhead. haechan and chaewon shortly found you, forming a crowd as you danced.
from across the room, jeno sat on a couch with karina perched on his side, her legs on top of his lap as her fingers ran across the back of his head.
“this party’s boring.” karina complained, letting out a sigh while taking another sip from her cup.
jeno didn’t respond. he wanted nothing more than to join his friends on the dance floor, but he knew it wasn’t karina’s crowd, so he decided to stay with her to avoid getting her upset. “you’ve been awfully quiet. did i do something?”
jeno shook his head, eyes landing on hers. “no,” he grasped her hand in his. “don’t you want to dance?”
“you know i’m not into this kind of scene, jeno. why’d we even come here?” karina scoffed, pulling her legs off his lap and crossing her arms. jeno pursed his lips, the tension between them rising.
“you said you wanted to see what the fuss was about, babe.” jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i thought we could have fun together with my friends for once.”
“what’s that supposed to mean!” karina snapped, but jeno was listening to someone else in particular; a burst of laughter from the dance floor caught his attention. his eyes instinctively found you, spinning with mark and chaewon, a carefree smile on your face. he nearly sulked as he watched his friends have fun while he was sitting in a corner.
karina’s eyes followed to where jeno was staring at, her expressions souring even more once he realized jeno wasn’t even listening to her. “of course,” her voice cut through his trance. “you’re not even paying attention to me.”
chaewon caught what was stirring from the corner of her eyes, nudging you. “uh oh, trouble in paradise again.”
you sneaked a glance at where they were sitting; it was easy to spot jeno in a crowd. his back was hunched, karina’s eyebrows furrowed while speaking to him. you almost felt sorry for him.
jeno’s gaze met yours, you quickly looked away to pretend you were not snooping on them, but you knew he saw you staring anyway. you shook off your thoughts, trying to focus on having fun with your friends. you hated the effect he had on you. you hated how easily he got under your skin, how his presence could unravel the fragile composure you worked so hard to maintain.
meanwhile, karina had grown tired of jeno’s distracted demeanor. she stood up abruptly, clutching her purse in her hands. “i’m leaving.” she told jeno, annoyance evident in her tone.
“babe, wait—” jeno stood up, catching her arm, but she shrugged him off.
“stay if you want. don’t bother following me. i’ll text you whenever.” she snapped before storming out of the room.
jeno stood there, watching her back, slowly immersing herself in the crowd. for some reason, he couldn’t move; he didn’t want to move. the guilt of letting her storm off alone clashed with the relief of not encountering a full-on argument. he knows his actions will probably lead to a massive fight with her again, but he was just too tired to deal with it tonight. his eyes trailed back to where you were dancing, but you were no longer there; only mark and haechan remained.
you couldn’t handle another second of witnessing jeno and karina together. you decided to escape the crowd and find an empty room to gather your thoughts. thankful that jaehyun’s house was large enough to have an unoccupied room. the noise from the party was muffled the second you shut the door behind you.
you sat on the edge of the bed, sighing as you ran your hand through your hair. get it together. you scolded yourself before plopping back on the soft mattress. tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, but the sight of jeno with her was too unbearable. the room became unbreathable as thoughts clouded your mind. you often wondered why jeno couldn’t just look at what was in front of him. the way he made you feel like a teenager pining over her crush made you laugh.
soft knocks on the door snapped you back to life. curious, you stood up and hovered over the doorknob.
“y/n?” the voice from the other side of the door called out, making your breath hitch. “are you in there?”
jeno. why was he here? how did you know you were here? you hesitated before grabbing the doorknob and turning it to open the door. there he was—clad in a black shirt with some jeans, yet he still looked like he was crafted by the gods.
“jeno? what are you doing here?” you resisted the urge to ask him why he wasn’t with his girlfriend, but from the looks of the events earlier, they probably quarreled again.
jeno didn’t respond, instead, he moved past you and into the room you were occupying. you shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it because you saw no need to. he sat on the edge of the bed, where you had previously sat.
you were lost. you don’t know how you should act right now, and jeno seemed so defeated.
“you’ve been avoiding me all night.” jeno spoke, his eyes trained on you. you were leaning against the door, a wide distance between the two of you.
you nearly laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “i wasn’t avoiding you, jen. you were just busy with karina the entire night.” it was true, you had no intentions of ignoring him. in fact, a part of you wanted to see him, to see you. even though you convinced yourself that tonight was about you, it wouldn’t hurt if he saw the effort you put on today.
he took a second to scan your frame, his lips tugging into a small smile when he reached your face. “you look nice.” your heart leaped at his compliment. throat going dry as you thought of words to say to him.
“you’re not so bad yourself.” you chuckled. the air felt thick, you weren’t sure if it was only on your end. you couldn’t help but let your eyes roam his body as well. you knew jeno was fit—he was always diligent about his attendance at the gym—and it surely didn’t help your thoughts that you had a massive crush on him. he looked great, so hot. it made it hard to think straight.
jeno’s eyes didn’t leave yours, his gaze was so intense that it made you want to cower and run away. you cleared your throat. “why are you here, jeno?” you asked, breaking the silence. even though you already anticipated the answer.
“we fought.” you knew it. “i just… i needed to get away for a bit.” of course, why else would he seek for you?
your heart banged against your chest. you wanted to comfort him, to be his solace as you had always been, playing the part of his best friend. but at the same time, you hated being his safe space, you hated how he ran to you only when things got messy with her. it was not fair.
“does she know you’re here?” you asked cautiously, watching as his face twisted into worry.
“she left.” jeno shook his head, leaning back against the mattress with his hands bracing him. you hated how casual he was being. “said i could stay here if i wanted.” his voice laced with frustration, eyes falling to the floor.
you nodded slowly, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from uttering words that you’d soon regret. as a best friend, you were supposed to tell him to go after her, to patch things up with her like he always does. but tonight, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted him to stay.
“and you came here?” the words left your mouth, and you regretted it immediately.
jeno lifted his head, eyes meeting yours once again. “yeah.” he said, standing up from his spot, taking careful strides towards you. your eyes widened when he approached you. “i came here.” he stopped in front of you, making you take a step backward, but your back just hit the wall, preventing you from moving any further. his frame towering over yours.
there were warning bells ringing in your ears as jeno’s eyes flicked down to your lips. it was subtle, but it was enough to send your thoughts spiraling. your mind was screaming at you to move, to say something, to do anything—but all your heart could focus on was him.
what was he doing?
he was getting dangerously close to you. his perfume hitting your nose, the familiar scent taking over you. the silence in the room was loud, his hand landing on the space next to your head, resting on the wooden door.
“jeno…” your voice came out soft, almost whisper-like, pleading him. although you weren’t entirely sure if you were pleading for him to stop or continue. your pulse racing as he leaned even closer, the gap between you shrinking. the invisible barrier you’d tried so hard to build came crashing down as his intoxicating scent painted the room with tension that grew impossibly thick.
jeno paused to stare into your eyes, looking for signs of doubt in them. his movements were cautious, as though he was giving you time to stop him—but your body betrayed you as you stood frozen in place.
this wasn’t—shouldn’t— supposed to happen. this wasn’t you. you weren’t supposed to have him this close to you—not when he wasn’t yours to begin him.
but the way he looked at you now, like you were his favorite dessert that his mother told him he couldn’t have at a grocery store, made it so hard to pull away.
“i—we can’t.” you croaked out, your voice betraying you.
“tell me to stop.” jeno mumbled, his lips barely grazing yours.
stop.
stop!
you couldn’t stop.
jeno crashed his lips to yours. his taste greeting your tongue, the flavor of alcohol mixed with something uniquely him. you gasped into the kiss, eyes shutting as your hands instinctively flew to his chest while his mouth moved against yours. he didn’t miss the opportunity to slide his tongue between your parted lips, roaming it around. you felt your knees weaken.
jeno was kissing you. and you were kissing him back. the moment you had dreamed of and longed for was becoming a reality. it was real—vivid, and more overwhelming than anything you could imagine.
his hands fell to your waist, pulling your body flush against his. your hands gripped his shirt, tugging him close to you. the heat of his body pressed against yours, sending shivers down your spine. the feeling of him getting hard against your thigh snapped you back to your senses. your eyes fluttered open with a surge of panic before pushing his body away. what have you done?
“what the fuck.” you whispered, hand reaching up to touch your lips that were on his mere seconds ago as if you couldn’t believe the affair that just occurred.
“y/n—“ jeno started, arms reaching out for you. but you pulled away from him. “hey, it’s okay.” he assured you. his expression turning soft as he watched your panicked state. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have—”
the kiss was replaying in your head, the vivid moment playing repeatedly to remind you it was immoral. but deep inside, you were floating on the clouds. jeno kissed you. you weren’t sure if you were sorry to begin with.
“i-i need to go.” you mumbled, turning around and grabbing the doorknob. jeno took a step back to give you some space.
“let me explain.” jeno called out, but you were already scrambling towards the door, needing to create distance between the two of you, leaving him and your chaos of emotions behind.
“i’m so excited!” chaewon squealed as she held onto your hand, practically dragging you towards the bus.
it was the annual retreat the student council had organized to help students destress and bond outside of academic pressure. this year, the arts and business departments were grouped to blend creativity and strategy. since you and chaewon were both visual design students, you agreed to be seatmates on the bus. mark and haechan were also coming along because they were music and dance majors, respectively. while it sounded like an excellent opportunity to unwind, you knew it also meant that jeno and karina would be there since they were a part of the department as business and fashion majors.
you haven’t spoken to jeno since your last encounter. you weren’t sure you had the right words to say to him. no one knew of what happened that night, and the guilt was clawing you alive. you contemplated whether to tell chaewon about it. you knew she was going to be by your side, but admitting that you kissed jeno while he was in a relationship with karina was something you didn’t want to say out loud. admitting it would make it real. and making it real meant facing the truth: you kissed someone else’s boyfriend. even if he started it.
the mere thought made you shiver. although jeno was equally responsible for the kiss that he initiated, you wondered if he told anyone about it, if he regretted it, or if he thinks about it as often as you did.
you would be lying to yourself if you said that you had already forgotten about the kiss. the memory of kissing someone you were in love with was not easy to bury. the feeling of his lips on yours haunted you on nights you couldn’t sleep, your heart racing at the faint thought of it.
you found yourself seated in the middle section of the bus. chaewon begged for the window seat, striking a deal to share her stash of snacks in exchange. students gradually filled the bus, mark and haechan seated on the aisle across from you, their banter already filling the air. it wasn’t long before jeno and karina boarded the bus, karina leading jeno with her hand in his. for a brief second, you locked eyes with jeno, whose face was filled with sorrow when he looked at you. you loathed it.
you quickly broke eye contact, but you swore his gaze lingered on you a bit longer. you faced chaewon, who was telling you about her latest boy drama. she noticed that your expression had shifted; she turned her head to see where you were just looking, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the couple.
“are you and jeno alright?” chaewon whispered, leaning towards you. “don’t think i saw you guys together since the party.” you stiffened. she was right.
chaewon was observant. she knew you too well. she noticed the small things, like how you look for jeno in crowds or how your mood shifts downward when you spot him with karina. it had been two torturous weeks since the party, since you had a secret you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell anyone. two weeks of trying to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything—when deep down, you knew it meant everything.
and two weeks' worth of unread messages from jeno.
you thought back to the notifications you had stared at countless times, your heart clenching every time his name lit up your screen.
jeno: hey jeno: how are u? jeno: we should really talk jeno: let me know when ure free jeno: i miss u y/n jeno: pls dont ignore me
you had read them all. your fingers hovered over the keyboard countless times, thinking about what to say to him. what were you supposed to say? that you were in love with him? that the kiss meant everything to you while it was probably a drunken mistake for him? that you were drowning in guilt but couldn't help but think about the kiss? you decided that saying nothing would be better, giving you time to gather your thoughts.
but no matter how you tried, jeno was everywhere. in the halls, in your dreams, and now, on this godforsaken bus.
“yeah.” you smiled at chaewon, pulling on her arm so you could nest your head against her shoulder. “i’m just sleepy.”
“my ass hurts.” haechan whined dramatically as you got off the bus. mark chuckled at him while he extended his arms. the ride took three hours and you were all sore from sitting down, eager to stretch your legs. but the view was worth the pain.
the beach house that the council rented was massive. its modern design stands out against the blue ocean and white sand. large glass windows reflected the sun rays, and the sprawling deck held enough space for barbecues and hangouts. off to the side were lounge chairs arranged neatly with umbrellas softening the harsh sunlight. the waves crashing softly against the shore added a soothing background hum, instantly washing away some of your earlier tension.
“alright, everyone!” one of the council—who you recognized was soobin—announced, making heads turn to face him. “we’ll be assigning rooms in fifteen minutes. grab your stuff, and let’s meet in the living room.”
moments later, the group navigated to the now cramped space. you were sure there were at least twenty students in your house, and you wondered if it was enough to fit all of you. the rest are probably in the beach houses next door. the living room buzzed with activity. some familiar faces are scattered around the area; you gave them a polite nod when you met their eyes, thankful that they returned the gesture. you settled for the vacant space on the couch, with chaewon trailing behind you.
“settle down, guys.” soobin cleared his throat. the noise in the room died down, with jisung and chenle the last ones to squeeze into the room. soobin lifted his phone, assuming to read off the names and room assignments. “some already requested to be paired before this trip, so let me tell you which rooms you’ll be in.”
“chaewon and y/n.” soobin called out, head whipping to look for us, nodding once he spotted us. “you’ll be in room 3.”
chaewon let out a tiny clap with her hands, smiling at you brightly, to which you returned the energy. soobin continued announcing the names of the students who would be roomed together. mark and haechan are paired in the room across the hall from yours.
“i know some of you requested to be with your partners, but the school board requires us to separate male and female students.” soobin started, groans echoing throughout the room. “i know, i know. but this will just be for formalities. what you do after lights out is none of our business.” his comment drew waves of laughter and grins.
“jeno and renjun.” he continued, looking around the room. “room 6.”
the sound of his name made your stomach drop, nearly forgot that he was in the same room as you. you tried to keep your expression neutral as your eyes shifted to him, who was leaning against the wall with karina on his side.
“find your rooms and settle in. dinner’s at six. feel free to explore the area until then.” soobin finally finished disclosing information, and everyone hurried off to find their respective rooms.
chaewon led the way to your room, with you trailing behind her, struggling to navigate the vast house with your bags. the weight of your stuff was slowing you down, and you silently cursed yourself for your overpacking tendencies. startled, a pair of hands who obviously saw you struggle helped you carry them. you lifted your head to say thank you, but the words got stuck in your throat when you locked eyes with your rescuer, jeno.
“i could’ve carried them.” you mumbled, watching as he effortlessly carried your bag with one arm, and—you're assuming—his and karina’s bag in another. speaking of, where was she?
“just accept the help.” jeno replied, his tone simple. a wave of emotions washing over you—guilt, confusion, and something you did not want to name. this was the first time you’d talked to him since the incident. “lead the way.” pursing your lips, you ascended the stairs, feeling him trace your steps but not utter a word.
shortly, you found chaewon standing in front of a bedroom door, which you’re guessing is your room. her eyes widened when she saw who was behind you, but you’re thankful she didn’t mention anything.
“i can take it from here.” you told jeno, who nodded. he handed you your bag, his fingers grazing your skin as you retrieved it from his grasp. you don’t know if you were going crazy, but you swore sparks shot out of your entire body from the mere touch of his skin.
get a hold of yourself.
you thought to yourself. you have experienced jeno’s touch before, but why were you acting like a teenage girl who got to hold her crush’s hand for the first time?
you muttered a thank you to jeno before following chaewon, who had already entered the room. but before you could cross the doorway, you felt a hand on your arm. your heart speeded up at the contact. head turning to face him, he opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out.
“can we talk?” jeno asked, his eyebrows twisting in concern. “please?”
“later.” you affirmed, sending him a weak smile. “come over later.”
his lips tugged upward into a tight smile before nodding and walking away to enter his room, which you saw was just a few doors away from yours.
you shut the door behind you once you entered the room, sighing against it. chaewon watched you with worried eyes, and it took everything in you not to admit to her and cry in her arms. still, the weight of her stare told you that she knew something was wrong.
“had a small fight with jeno.” lie. “don’t worry, i’m used to fighting with his ass.” you dryly laughed. you knew she didn’t buy it but decided to let it go, not wanting to pry when you’re obviously not in the mood to talk about it.
you took this time to scan the room. two single beds in the middle of the room with a bedside table separating them. light blue wallpaper covering the wall, the sunlight peeking through the glass windows. and the view showcased the ocean’s beauty, which made you smile. maybe this retreat wouldn’t be so bad after all?
“you look hot!” chaewon complimented as you slipped into denim shorts. you were wearing a light pink two-piece bikini that was enough to prevent public indecency.
haechan texted you, saying that he, mark, and a few other people were hanging by the beach, and of course, you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to feel the ocean breeze on your skin. you immediately pulled out the bikini you packed for this trip.
“look who's talking!” you giggled, pointing to her black bikini that perfectly hugged her body. “who will be the lucky guy tonight?” you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly, which she just laughed at.
“whoever it will be, i just hope he’s good in bed.” chaewon fake sighed, making you jokingly pat her arm.
the sun was about to set. some students were already grilling dinner to serve to everyone, and some were mingling by the pool. you could not wait to spend time with your friends to take your mind off him.
the two of you left your room and walked down the hall towards the beach. the faint sound of familiar voices filling the air as your toes reached the sand. you spotted mark, whose back was facing you, seated on a camp chair circling a fire. the cool breeze brushing against your skin as you neared them.
“there you guys are!” haechan exclaimed once he spotted you. he patted the empty chair for you to sit next to him, which you did. chaewon sat on the empty one next to yunjin, who was also in your year. you said your greetings to everyone around the fire, thankful that you were familiar with all of them.
the scent of the ocean filled your nose. the sounds of seagulls flying echoed the air. the warmth of the fire dancing on your skin. it felt soothing not to have to think about the stress of academics. however, your solace was cut short when a familiar couple took the spot directly in front of you.
“why don’t we play a game!” jisung, seated beside haechan, suggested, voice cutting through the conversation.
“what are we? twelve?” chenle scoffed, leaning against his chair while taking a sip out of his cup.
jisung smirked, punching him lightly. “come on, live a little, you prude.”
“bet you’re going to suggest tru-“
“truth or dare!” jisung suggested, eyes lighting up mischievously, earning a chorus of groans from the crowd, which you chuckled at.
“i think it’ll be fun!” chaewon chimed in, voice raising as she clapped her hands.
jisung scanned the area, “alright, let’s see!” a finger tapping his chin as he picked his first target. “jeno, truth or dare?” all eyes landed on him, including yours, watching as he contemplated what to choose.
jeno chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “truth.”
“boring.” jisung groaned but conjured up a question anyway. “who is the prettiest woman in this circle? and it doesn’t have to be your girlfriend!”
“jisung, you’re being weird.” renjun interjected, shaking his head in disapproval.
“what! it’s called truth or dare for a reason.” jisung defended, putting his hands up in defense.
jeno stayed silent for a second before he lifted his head. you swore his eyes lingered on you for too long before uttering his answer. “karina, of course.”
“boo!” jisung chanted, but some were in awe of his loyalty to his girlfriend. karina, who was next to him, jokingly rolled her eyes before kissing jeno on the cheek. you stayed silent, chewing on your bottom lip, trying to avert your gaze from the affectionate display.
“eric!” jisung called out. heads turned to him, who was seated beside you. you followed their gaze to see the handsome male.
“dare.” eric smirked, leaning forward in confidence.
“finally, someone who’s not a pussy.” jisung grinned mischievously, rubbing his hands together. “i dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this circle.”
“dude, what is your obsession with pretty girls.” you heard mark whisper.
the circle broke into fits of laughter, but what happened next came as a shock to you. eric turned to face you, your eyes widening once you realized what he was asking. the laughter died down as everyone’s attention shifted towards the two of you. his eyes met yours, and your heart began pounding as the realization hit.
“what—” you started, but the words barely left your mouth before eric leaned in. his lips inches away from you, staring into you as if he was silently asking for permission. you froze, not retracting your face away. you gave him a tiny nod of confirmation. he placed a soft kiss on your lips, lingering just a second too long for it to feel innocent.
the group erupted into a mix of cheers, gasps, and whistles.
“my guy didn’t even hesitate!” mark exclaimed, patting eric on the arm. you pulled away from eric, cheeks heating up from the amount of people witnessing the dared kiss.
you didn’t want to, but you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at jeno. his expression was curious, his previous relaxed demeanor replaced by something you couldn’t understand, making you wonder if it was because of you.
eric leaned back into his seat, a cheeky grin on his lips. “sorry if it was too forward.”
you let out a small laugh, brushing it off. “it’s fine.” tucking a strand of hair behind your ears.
“moving on!” jisung announced, “renjun, truth or dare?”
jisung’s words faded away as your attention averted to something—someone—else. from the corner of your eye, jeno’s gaze was flickering between you and eric, his jaw clenching as he gripped the red plastic cup in his hand.
haechan leaned to you, mouth near your ear. “think that’s because of you?” he whispered as if he read your mind. he was always the one to tease you about your feelings for jeno.
“don’t be absurd.” you glared at him, pushing him away, but he only laughed. but deep inside, your thoughts were all over the place, with jeno’s reaction lingering in the back of your head, making things feel infinitely more complicated.
a knock on your door pulled you out of your trance. you decided to head back to your room, leaving the group behind to catch up on some well-deserved sleep. you were feeling overwhelmed with the social interaction you had to go through today, quietly slipping yourself away from haechan’s coercion of trying to make you stay longer. not to mention it seems like jeno and karina were getting heated up from the amount of affection they were displaying. you did not want to stick around when things escalated.
curious, you stood from the bed and gripped the doorknob before turning it and opening the door.
“hey.” jeno greeted, a sheepish smile on his face.
the wind was knocked out of you. you forgot you asked him to come over, seeing him in front of you made you nervous.
“jeno.” you breathed, .
“can i come in?” red exclamation marks were clouding your vision, but you shook them off, pulling the door wider so he could pass through.
jeno stayed silent as he entered your room, eyes wandering around the place for a second before facing you. you were almost certain you felt deja vu by your current positions.
“i wish you would stop avoiding me.” jeno started, “i know what i did was uncalled for, but i—it was—“
“did you tell her?” you interrupted, voice sounding sharper than you intended.
“i—no.”
“jeno.” you glared at him.
“i know! i feel so fucking guilty about it, too, okay? but i—“ jeno took a step forward to you. “have a lot in my head.”
“imagine how i feel!” you shot back, voice jumping an octave. “i made out with someone else’s boyfriend.” you whispered the last part as the weight of your words sank in.
“fuck, y/n. it’s not easy for me either.” his eyes were trained on you with an expression plastered on his face that you couldn’t quite understand.
“what are you saying?” frustration lacing your voice.
jeno thought for a second, letting the silence fill the air as he racked his mind of what to say. “do you like eric?”
“what? no!” you replied instantly to his ridiculous question. why does he even care if you had feelings for eric?
“does he kiss better than me?”
“are you insane?” you spat. “are you literally joking about this right now?”
“i’m not joking.” jeno inched closer to you. your heart racing once his scent reached your nose, his warmth radiating off his body. “does he?”
thoughts clouded your mind. why would he even care if eric was a good kisser? he had karina. a girlfriend who he had been with for years. “i’m not answering that.” you shook your head, crossing your arms across your chest in an attempt to build a wall between the two of you.
“i want to kiss you again.”
“what?” your knees grew weak at his confession. staring at him as if he had three heads. was he hearing himself right now?
“can i?” jeno grabbed your arms, making them uncross from your previous stance. so much for building a wall. “kiss you…” he dropped his grip from your arms, caressing your cheek with his hand. “again?” his thumb sliding down just enough to reach your lips.
“jeno…” you begged, almost sounding like a whimper.
“just… one more time, please?” he pleaded, gaze dropping to your lips. you didn’t miss the way he licked his lips before flickering his eyes back to meet yours.
“this is wrong.” you whispered, voice unsteady. your words contradict your actions.
“i know.” his breath fanned your face. “but i can’t stop thinking about our kiss.” his lips dangerously close to yours. the weight of his confession sending you into a spiral. “tell me to leave.”
you stayed silent. the words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation. the internal battle inside you faltered as you slowly caved in. you slightly shook your head no, and that was all he needed.
jeno kissed you like he had been waiting his whole life for it. you reciprocated his energy, arms flying around his neck to tug him closer to you. his arms wrapping around your waist to pull your body against him. you whimpered against his lips when you felt his cock hardening, just by your mere.
“fuck.” jeno whispered, hands cupping your face as he pulled away from your lips. “i need you so bad.” desperation lacing his voice.
“w-what?” you froze, not expecting things to escalate so quickly. “jeno, kari-”
“she’s mad at me.” oh. “told me not to bother looking for her tonight.” his expression turned sour from mentioning her girlfriend. odd.
your heart raced. is that why he was here? to look for release?
as if he read your mind, he was quick to respond. “you’re not a placeholder for her, y/n.” this was the first lie jeno told you. “i’m here for you.” he reassured.
jeno leaned in and kissed you again, the kiss soft and filled with need. your mind is still on the fence about the entire situation, but by the simple “please?” he uttered, your walls came crashing down. it felt like you two were the only people on earth.
one thing led to another; you found yourself laying on the mattress with jeno in between your legs. his lips on yours as he kissed you hungrily, his hands playing with the hem of your shirt. he pulled away from you, looking at you for confirmation before you nodded. he slipped the shirt off your frame, eyes roaming your bra-clad body the second you were exposed.
feeling vulnerable beneath his gaze, you moved to cover yourself, but his grip on your arms prevented you from doing so.
“don’t.” he muttered, leaning down to place a kiss on your chest. “beautiful.” his hand snaked behind your back, his fingers grazing the clasp of your bra. “can i?”
you nodded, and in a swift motion, the clothing fell down your chest. your heart speeding up as his fingers trailed from your back to just below your breast. he looked into your eyes for any signs of doubt, but you didn’t provide any. you needed him badly.
you reached for his shirt, tugging it as a sign. he noticed the signal and pulled away from you, lifting his shirt off his body. your eyes shamelessly traveling down his toned chest, feeling a wave of heat forming between your legs. damn his addiction to working out.
“you can touch me, you know.” jeno chuckled once he saw your mouth slightly part at the sight. you took his words as a sign to caress his chest, down to his abs and just above his abdomen, making him groan. “didn’t know you’d be such a tease.”
“shut up.” you mumbled, hands playing with the buttons of his jeans. “i’m taking my time.” you admired his body; after all, you had only been dreaming of this moment.
“oh?” jeno teased, grabbing you by the thighs and pulling you down so your core was close to his crotch, making you gasp. “well, i need you now.” he whispered before attaching his lips to yours, hand reaching up to your breast to knead the skin, making you moan against his mouth. his free hand reached in between your bodies to cup your core, the wetness seeping through as he gently rubbed up and down.
his cock growing against your core, feeling your body heat rise at the sensation. his fingers hooked the waistband of your shorts before sliding them down your legs, leaving you completely exposed.
in an abrupt motion, jeno took off his pants and boxers. his cock springing against his abdomen, the head red and precum spilling from the tip. you licked your lips before reaching to pump his cock. he was so big and thick, better than you could ever imagine.
“fuck.” jeno grunted against your touch, hips bucking to meet your hands. “i-i don’t have any condoms.”
“just pull out, i trust you.” you bit your lip. “and i’m on the pill if that helps.”
“why didn’t you start with that?” jeno replaced your hand with his. aligning his length with your entrance. spreading your wetness with the head of his cock.
you whimpered at the sensation before he slowly pushed into you. muted gasps leaving your lips, mouth falling agape as you grew accustomed to his size.
“shit—“ jeno’s hands fell to your hips, gripping on the skin. “you’re so tight.” he said, fully burying himself into you. your insides were burning from the lack of foreplay, but you didn’t care; you wanted him—needed him—before he slipped out of your grasp again. tears pricked your eyes as he adjusted himself. he stayed still, waiting for any confirmation from you. “i know, i know.” he muttered, pressing a kiss on your forehead once he saw your pained expression. “it’ll feel better, i promise.”
a few moments later, you tapped his thigh as a signal. he carefully moved his hips, slowly thrusting out before fully pushing in again. once you got used to his movements, moans spilled from your lips. he took this as a sign to increase his speed.
“god—“ you cried out, hands gripping the sheets beneath you. “jeno!”
his hands reached for your breasts, massaging them while simultaneously playing with your nipples. your back arched against the mattress when his fingers circled the sensitive buds.
your hips bucked up in an attempt to meet his thrusts, making him pick up the pace even more. “so good for me.” he praised, making your head dizzy. his lips find your neck, sucking and licking on the skin.
lewd sounds escaping your lips from his actions. your hand flew to grip his hair, tugging it lightly, making him grunt. the familiar knot forming in your stomach as he picked up his pace. your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, the new position allowing him to bury his cock even deeper.
you cursed out his name as his tip perfectly hit the spot that drove you insane. “f-fuck.” you managed to let out. hands falling to his shoulder, fingernails slightly digging into his skin.
sweat trickled down jeno’s forehead as he pulled away from your neck. his eyes trained on you—his best friend—as you took his cock.
“are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” jeno grunted, watching your breasts bounce from his every thrust. he licked his lips at the sight.
you nodded, biting on your lip. “god—yes!”
jeno slipped his hand in between your bodies, fingers finding your clit. he circled the sensitive nerve, adding even more pleasure, making you near your orgasm even more.
“come on, baby.” jeno whispered, lips capturing yours. “cum for me.”
you clenched around him. your release begging to be freed, with a few more thrusts from him. you came crashing down on his cock. moaning loudly as you chased your high. you were thankful that almost everyone was busy getting drunk on the beach.
“oh my fucking god.” jeno groaned, watching as you squirmed beneath him. your back arching, giving him a perfect view of your tits. and soon enough, his orgasm hit him; he quickly pulled out, spilling his cum all over your stomach.
you lay there breathless, chest heaving as you recovered from your high. jeno pulled his body away from you, walking into the connected bathroom before coming back with a roll of tissue. he peeled a fair amount before rushing to wipe his cum all over you.
you giggled when his hands reached your sides, feeling ticklish. you watched him clean you up, and suddenly, reality came crashing in.
you just fucked someone else’s boyfriend. the air suddenly felt tight as jeno trashed the dirty tissues. he reached for his pants, slipped them on before reaching for your clothes, and placed them near you.
“oh my god.” you whispered as your realization kicked in. your hands reaching for the covers to hide away from him somehow.
“what’s wrong?” jeno asked, brows furrowed as he watched you try to scramble away from him.
“jeno, we just fucked.” you reminded him, reaching for your shirt to cover yourself up.
“we’ve literally known each other for years, y/n. i don’t think now’s the time for you to be shy.” he chuckled, slipping his shirt on.
“that’s not—jeno, what about karina?”
jeno froze, expression twisting into worry at the mention of his girlfriend’s name, but he quickly shook it off, masking his unease. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of it.” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with you. his words felt empty, a hollow reassurance that only deepened the pit in your stomach. you weren’t exactly sure what he was promising—what was he going to take care of? “i can’t stay here tonight.” he moved closer to the doom “i’ll see you soon?” his hand lingered on the doorway, finally fixing his gaze on you.
then it hit you like you were punched in the gut, and it all made sense now. you weren’t sure if jeno was here to patch things up with you or dig a hole even deeper, but given your past activity, you could only guess he made the decision for the latter. jeno was just here for a quick release. and who better to turn to rather than his best friend—the one he knew would always bend over backward for him?
you sat there, unable to move. you were equally to blame. you had let this happen. you let yourself fall down his trap, even though warning signs blared in your mind. you let yourself believe that he was capable of having feelings for you beyond friendship.
“right,” you nodded curtly, voice barely audible. “see you.”
jeno hesitated for a second, “don’t be a stranger, okay?” he said before slipping out the door. the soft click of its closing was deafening, and the silence that followed felt suffocating.
your gaze stilled on the door. his presence still lingering at the back of your head. he said he couldn’t stay, but you wondered if he wanted to. or were you just a convenient distraction, someone to make him feel grounded while he sorted his mess with karina?
tears welled in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away. chaewon could be coming in any second—quite grateful that she didn’t when jeno was balls deep in you—and you refused to show any vulnerability, not when it comes to him. not this time, you couldn’t keep doing this—not to him, or karina, and definitely not to yourself.
your little secret was eating you alive.
here you sat, curled up on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment with chaewon. it was one of those rare nights when you and your friends—chaewon, mark, haechan, and jeno (when he wasn’t busy quarreling with karina)—could indulge in your movie night tradition.
the aroma of buttered popcorn filled the air, and a pile of blankets and pillows was scattered around the room. you were seated on the loveseat couch with chaewon beside you, her legs resting on your lap. mark and haechan were below you, sitting on the air mattress you had put out specifically for this night. and jeno splayed himself on the comfortable armchair. the tv illuminated the room as the opening credits of a classic rom-com played, but you were barely paying attention. how could you? your mind was floating, caught in a web of guilt.
after the encounter you had with jeno, you were convinced he was going to do the right thing—either end things with karina or at least come clean about what happened. but alas, you heard that he somehow made up with her, leaving you wondering and confused.
you felt used. it wasn’t that you expected he would ditch karina and be with you; you weren’t that naive. you simply hoped it would be the start of shifting your relationship—if you could even call it that—with jeno. but instead, he was still hesitant about crossing the line from friends.
jeno was within your peripheral vision, laughing at the comment mark had said about the movie. the sound of his voice made your stomach feel uneasy. he seemed so unbothered, so perfect and fine, yet you felt like you were drowning from the weight of what the two of you shared. it felt unfair.
you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone, not chaewon, not mark. you were carrying the burden alone. but jeno’s every glance at you made your body feel like it was under a spotlight.
it didn’t help that you hadn’t spoken to jeno about it. granted, you were both busy with university and this was the first time you’d been in the same room as him since the trip. talking through the phone just doesn’t seem enough for the weight of your conversation.
“why are you so quiet tonight?” chaewon asked, munching on popcorn. “you okay?”
“of course!” you shot her a smile, reaching for the bowl she had with her and popping some popcorn in your mouth. “just really wanted to watch this movie.” you lied, hoping she wouldn’t see right through you. she believed you, dropping the subject.
if only you could bury the truth as easily as you buried your feelings.
from the corner of your eye, you knew that jeno tuned in to the brief conversation, his expression dropping from the tone of your voice.
the movie continued. the comedic skits drew laughter from mark and haechan. chaewon lets out squeals whenever the main lead does something romantic. despite the bubbly atmosphere, you couldn’t fully immerse yourself in the group. you sneaked another glance towards jeno, whose gaze was directed to his phone. his screen lit up, indicating a notification, and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. the soft glow gave you enough light to see his jaw tense slightly. you didn’t even have to think for a second that the text had come from karina. you felt foolish for somehow believing him when he said he would take care of it.
jeno stood up abruptly, drawing everyone’s attention. “i—uh have to go.” he announced, pocketing his phone and reaching for his jacket.
“what? i thought we were having a sleepover!” haechan whined, tossing a piece of popcorn in his direction.
“yeah, dude, the movie was just about to get interesting.” mark chimed in, his eyes darting to the screen, making sure not to miss a scene.
jeno could only muster a chuckle. “sorry, something came up. it’s, uh, family stuff.” he lied through his teeth. his eyes avoided yours no matter how intent you were staring at him, which alone was enough to confirm your suspicion.
why did he lie about seeing karina?
“everything okay?” chaewon asked, concern dripping from her tone.
“oh yeah, nothing serious. they just need my help with something.” jeno assured, enough to not worry anyone.
you stayed silent, watching as he lied about his whereabouts. you merely nodded at his words, not having the right words to say. they all bid their goodbyes, and you managed to utter a tiny “bye” to his departure. you swore he turned back one last time before leaving, not to look at the group but to look at you. the look on his face was unreadable, and you hated how you couldn’t see right through him.
once jeno left, everyone returned their attention to the movie. your chest felt much lighter by his absence, but once you thought about where or who he was going to, you felt a commotion stir inside you.
“how’s it going with you and jeno?” mark casually asked, making you panic. worried that you might have let something slip.
“what do you mean?”
“figured out how to get over that crush of yours?” oh. chaewon and haechan’s ears perked up, looking at you for confirmation.
“i’m trying.” you kept your answer curt, shrinking into the cushions, trying to avoid the discussion.
“you know, i have this friend, and i think he’d be perfect for you.” mark started, head turning to face you, a mischievous smirk plastered on his lips. “good looking, smart, studying for his medical degree, loves cats.” he listed, trying to make his friend sound as attractive as possible.
“what? are you trying to set me up on a blind date?” you raised your brow at him, which he only sheepishly smiled at.
“well, technically, it’s not blind, i have a feeling you’ve seen him around.”
“please! this is exactly what you need.” chaewon chimed in, nudging your body.”
“i don’t know…” you trailed off hesitantly.
“why not?” haechan jumped in. “it’s not like you have anything to lose, right? and besides, it’ll be fun.”
“and it will be a good distraction from you-know-who.” chaewon chipped in.
they were all looking you, waiting for your response. you paused, contemplating their suggestion.
they were right. you had to stop considering Jeno in all your decisions. especially after tonight when he so painfully cannot let go of her even after your moment with him. it was clear where you stand in jeno’s life—his best friend who he had slept with. going on a date with a handsome stranger did spark something within you.
“fine.” you sighed, making them cheer. mark already reached for his phone. “don’t make me regret this.”
as excitement filled the room, you couldn’t help but be thankful that your friends were helping you keep your mind off of jeno. maybe this distraction was precisely what you needed.
you fixed your hair in the mirror's reflection one last time before heading out. today was your date with mark’s friend, jaemin. his name sounded oddly familiar to you, but you couldn’t pinpoint where you heard it. you figured it was a common name around the city, so you brushed it off.
to say you were not nervous would be a lie. your heart beat against your chest as you waited for the knock on your door. mark sent you jaemin’s number so you could set up the details yourselves. you’ve briefly exchanged conversations with the mystery guy, and you found out he was in the same year you were at university. it made you wonder if you had crossed paths with him.
jaemin persistently insisted that he come to pick you up at your place, claiming he is a gentleman. which was a massive check in your book, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. it was charming and refreshing. so here you were in a white silky long-sleeve dress that stopped mid-thigh, stocking on, and nice cute heels to go along with the outfit. he had told you to dress not too fancy but not too casual either, and you figured this was the best you could come up with.
moments later, the inevitable knock on your door came. you smoothed out the fabric of your dress before approaching the door.
“hi–” you pulled the door open and faced him, the wind knocking out of your body once you laid eyes on him.
jaemin was gorgeous. his black hair falling in the most perfect way possible. he was dressed in a black shirt that peeked through his jacket, paired with dark denim jeans. he emitted a calm, understated confidence that made your stomach flutter and your cheeks warm.
“hey.” jaemin greeted you, a smile on his lips, his voice warm and comforting. “you look—wow, stunning.” he breathed, feeling shy beneath his gaze.
“hi, jaemin.” you replied, returning his grin. “thank you. you’re not so bad yourself.”
jaemin chuckled, holding out his arm in a cheesy way. “shall we, m’lady?”
“oh god.” you covered your face with your hands.
“i’m kidding.” jaemin reached out to pull your arms away. “come on.” he slipped his grip from your arms to your hands, locking his fingers with yours. a bold move, but you liked it.
jaemin opened the car door for you. you silently thanked him as you slipped into the passenger seat. he closed the door gently before jogging to the driver's side.
“so,” jaemin spoke once he started the car. you turned to face him. “are you nervous?” a hint of playfulness in his eyes.
you couldn’t help but laugh at his question. “kinda.” you admitted.
“good, that makes the two of us.”
the car ride was surprisingly comfortable. the small talk flowed easily, revealing more of his sweet and kind nature. you noticed how he drove the perfect speed to not make you nauseous, how he would avoid the potholes in the street so the ride wouldn’t be bumpy. you were hoping this entire night would keep your mind off the chaos you tried to bury.
he pulled up to a restaurant that was part of town that you were unsure if you’d been to before. the minimal but sophisticated signage illuminated the name that you were sure you couldn’t pronounce.
jaemin didn’t forget to open your car door for you once again. his hand resting on the small of your back as he navigated the both of you through the dimly lit restaurant. fancy. he gave his last name to the host before you were both assisted to your seats. as you followed the steps of your waiter, a familiar laughter erupting in the air made you stop in your tracks
no. it couldn’t be.
“jeno!” jaemin greeted the young man. jeno turned his head as he heard his name called, and his familiar eye smile made its way to his face once he saw jaemin. but his expression quickly faltered when he saw you were next to him. when did this happen? he wondered.
across from jeno was—you already guessed it—karina, who was slicing through her steak, unbothered by the newly arrived presence.
blood raced through your head, feeling dizzy when the two men exchanged greetings and surprisedness. of course, that was why jaemin was so familiar, he was jeno’s roommate! you have only been to Jeno’s apartment a few times, and he told you that he had a roommate who was busy with his medical degree, so he always opted to hang out at your place. you never would’ve imagined that he was the same jaemin that lived with jeno. you silently cursed mark and his conniving ways; he probably set this up on purpose, too.
you stood still, watching the scene before you unfolded. the air suddenly felt tight as the waiter pointed to the two vacant seats directly beside jeno and karina. ringing noise infiltrated your ears as jaemin smiled and pulled out the chair for you to sit in.
“can—are there any other seats?” you asked the waiter. this time, karina dropped her utensils at the familiar voice, her brow raising at the sight of you. “i just—it’s too hot in here.” you stammered, gripping the back of your chair.
the scene in front of you felt like a cruel twist of fate. the universe couldn’t have planned this better if it had tried. out of all the restaurants in the city, you just had to end up here. with jeno. and karina. together. on the night that you were supposed to forget said people.
“are you okay?” jaemin was quick to your side, worry plastered on his face. his genuineness added to the heaviness of your chest. you sent him a weak smile, brushing off his worries.
“i’m sorry, miss.” the waiter said apologetically, bowing his head lightly. “we are fully booked tonight.” you pursed your lips, nodding at him.
the last thing you wanted was to sit through an awkward dinner with jeno within your eyes and earshot while his girlfriend smugly sat mere inches beside you, completely unaware of what happened between you and jeno. but you couldn’t let jaemin’s effort go to waste. you fixed your posture, grabbing jaemin’s outstretched hand that was waiting for you, and you sat on the chair he pulled out for you.
you couldn’t help it; you hesitantly glanced at jeno, whose gaze was intent on you, jaw almost clenching at your presence. swallowing hard, you lifted the menu to cover your face from his intense stare, questioning what you had done to deserve this.
somehow, jaemin couldn’t sense the tension between you and his roommate. he talked to you with a sweet smile, but you could barely register his words because you kept zoning his words out due to the presence next to him.
“oh! have i told you that this guy,” jaemin pointed his thumb to jeno who suddenly turned to look at him. “is my roommate! what a small world.” he chuckled.
your stomach dropped. of course, he had to bring it up. you chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating whether you should mention the nature of your relationship with jeno.
karina, who overheard your conversation, snickered before chiming in. “of course, she would know, silly! she’s jeno’s best friend.”
“wait, what?” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, gaze flicking from you to jeno. “you two know each other?” he questioned.
“yeah.” you forced a tight lip smile, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “we’ve known each other since we were kids.”
“wait, so you’re y/n—jeno’s y/n?” you winced at his words, hating how you were addressed. he wasn’t yours, and you certainly weren’t his. “oh my god, how didn’t i connect the dots sooner.” he mumbled, more to himself, still surprised by the proximity of relationships.
jeno let out a dry chuckle at his reaction, trying to mask his stern expression. the room suddenly felt hot. you reached for the glass of water and sipped it in the cool liquid to neutralize your throat.
“this makes tonight even better! no first-date awkwardness since you’re practically family with jeno.”
you choked on the water, the liquid spilling from your lips as you coughed, making jaemin’s eyes widen. people started to stare, but jaemin was already rushing to your side to help wipe the spilled water. out of the corner of your eye, you noticed jeno slightly twitch as if he wanted to offer some help but restrained himself, letting jaemin do the work. his jaw was tight; his lips were pressed into a thin line.
you wanted to crawl under the table. family? the word felt like a bucket of ice being poured down your body—literally. the word was laughable, given everything that happened between you and jeno.
jeno tried to peel his eyes away as jaemin’s hands roamed your body. averting his gaze to karina, his lovely girlfriend. he reminded himself.
once jaemin made sure you were okay, you thanked him, and he returned to his seat, apologizing to the other tables bothered by your sudden outburst. cheeks heating up when you realize a lot of people were witnesses to your clumsiness.
the food you ordered shortly arrived. the smell of freshly cooked meat and pasta filling the air, you hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the plates were set up in front of you. the meal provided a much-needed distraction, and the night seemed to flow more smoothly for a while. jeno finally fixed his gaze to fixate on his date, and you were paying attention to yours.
“hm, what are your pet peeves?” jaemin asked, taking a bite of his food.
you paused for a second, profoundly considering his question. “i hate liars.” you blurted out. you didn’t miss the way jeno’s hand froze mid-way into feeding the spoon into his mouth. “i hate when people tell me they’ll do something or take care of something for me but end up not keeping their end of the bargain.” you kept your tone casual. still, you knew you got the message across—even to the table beside you.
jaemin nodded along. “yeah, i get that.” his tone was empathetic. “it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t follow through. makes them seem untrustworthy.”
you smiled at him, grateful that he shared the same views as you. you stole a quick glance at jeno, whose gaze was fixed on the plate on the table, but his hand was nearly turning red from his grip on the utensil. karina, who seemed confused by his sudden behavior, reached out to grab his hand in hers, making jeno look up and let out a sigh—you don’t know whether it was one of contentment or annoyance.
“please excuse me, i need to run to the bathroom real quick.” you mumbled to jaemin, flashing him a small smile as you slid your chair back. he nodded, returning a gentle smile, averting his attention to his phone while he waited for you to return.
jeno heard your excuse, eyes scanning karina who was too busy consuming her dessert before flickering to you who disappeared into the hallway that lead to the restroom.
without much thought, jeno impulsively excused himself from karina, muttering something about needing to wash his hands.
you leaned against the bathroom sink, sighing to yourself before running the cold water over your hands to somehow calm your nerves. jeno was confusing you. you hated not knowing what he was thinking, not having control over the situation. you didn’t have it in you to actually talk to jeno about the previous events. you were afraid of hearing the truth—that he chose her, like he did over and over again.
the sound of the bathroom door creaking open brought you to your senses. you glanced in the mirror, expecting another customer, your heart skipping when you saw jeno standing there, his expression unreadable.
“jeno? what are you doing here?” you whispered, eyes wide as you realized he’s in the women’s bathroom.
“jaemin, really?” jeno snorted, face contorting into anger? annoyance? you couldn’t tell, in fact you were confused as to why he was acting out of proportion.. “out of all the people, you chose my friend?”
“i didn’t know he was your friend.” you defended, frowning at his accusation. “and why do you care?” you prodded, trying to grasp the situation.
“i don't.” jeno shot back. “as your friend,” he said, as if the word was laced with venom. “i’m just looking out for you. jaemin’s very busy with his degree and i doubt he has time to settle down.”
you couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “that’s rich coming from you.” you spat. “and friend? really? friends don’t do what we did, jeno.” you angrily whispered the last part, cautious of the people around.
jeno lightly flinched at your words, the sentence hanging heavy ine air. you sighed, getting ready to walk past him but he caught your arm before you could leave.
“i’m sorry.” jeno mumbled, regret evident in his eyes.
you shook your head, the lump in your throat threatening to be released. “just go back to her, jeno. isn’t that what you’re best at?” you pushed past him, shoulders brushing against one another, leaving jeno alone in the bathroom.
jaemin drove you back to your apartment. jeno and karina had left moments before you did, allowing you to let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were gone. you offered to pay for half the meal, but jaemin insisted on covering it, even sneaking in a small “you cover it next time,” accompanied by a wink that made your heart flutter.
jaemin was perfect. he lived up to mark’s description of him—kind, sweet, and painfully handsome. you’ve caught yourself staring at his face down to his lips more times than you cared to admit. there were even moments when your eyes drifted to his biceps when he shrugged his jacket off.
but somehow, deep inside, your mind stubbornly drifted back to the one person you wanted nothing more than to forget. seeing jeno witness you on a date to sparked a sense of satisfaction within you—a small win to prove to him (and maybe even yourself) that you were capable of forgetting that night. but the truth lingered in the back of your mind: you hadn’t. the little encounter you had with him also etched in your mind, still wondering what the meaning of all of it was. that night replayed over and over, making it impossible to let go. you convinced yourself that you didn’t care that he was still with karina, but it was like a fever burning you alive. every time you saw her, the weight of your actions dragged you down. you slept with her boyfriend, and no self-justification could erase the betrayal that you had inflicted. you weren’t sure if you could ever forgive yourself for it.
jaemin seemed quieter on the drive home, and you wondered if you ticked him off. he barely spared you a glance, and it made you even more nervous.
did he not enjoy the date? had you done something to upset him?
as he pulled up to your apartment, you beat him to open your door for you, wanting to escape the suffocating confines of the vehicle.
“hey, y/n.” jaemin called out when you barely glanced in his direction, directly jogging to your apartment entrance. you froze in your spot, barely entering your complex when he caught up to you. he stopped in front of you, his frame towering over yours beneath the moon's soft glow.
“did i do anything wrong?” you blurted out, avoiding eye contact with him.
“what? no.” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head, sincerity dripping from his voice. “i was just thinking about how much i wanna kiss you tonight… but i didn’t want to scare you off.” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.
the anxiety and tension within your body dissipated from his mere confession. you blinked up at him, processing his words. the knot in your stomach unraveled, and you felt foolish for jumping to the worst conclusion.
jaemin took a step closer, his warmth engulfing you. he lifted his hand, fingers gently tucking the loose strand of hair behind your ear. the soft touch sent a flutter through your body, instinctively leaning against his touch.
“can i?” he asked softly, voice so tender it was enough to make you melt.
you nodded, unable to find the words.
jaemin leaned in, your eyes falling shut as he minimized the distance between you. when his lips finally met yours, it was soft and gentle. his hand cupping your cheek while his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush against his so that you were chest-to-chest.
his kiss wasn’t rushed and overwhelming—it was perfect as if he was savoring every moment.
he pulled away, lips mere inches from yours as you both caught your breaths. “i’ve been wanting to do that all night.”
you giggled at his confession, cheeks burning as you met his eyes. you placed your palms against his chest, fingers tapping. “i’m glad you did.”
jaemin grinned at you, his thumb caressing your cheek. “good.” he said softly. “because i’d like to do it again sometime.”
your lips parted to respond, but he placed a quick but affectionate kiss on your forehead before you could. a small gesture, but it made your knees weak.
“goodnight, y/n.” he mumbled, stepping away from you with a small wave.
“goodnight, jaemin.” you replied, smiling at him.
with one last glance, he turned and walked back to his car, leaving you with a smile you couldn’t seem to wipe away.
“tell me everything!” chaewon’s voice echoed throughout the apartment the second you stepped foot in it. you laughed as she almost tripped, making her way to you. she grabbed your hands, shaking them excitedly. “well?” she questioned, voice jumping an octave. “was he nice? handsome? did you kiss?” she gasped, hand covering her mouth. “did you fuck?”
“chaewon!” you playfully scolded her, as she guided you to the couch. her knees tucked beneath her as she looked at you with wide eyes, waiting for you to fill her on what happened.
you took a deep breath before you disclosed everything that had happened that evening. how jaemin was a perfect guy—not forgetting to mention how handsome he is—and how jeno and karina were at the restaurant you were at, deciding to leave out your encounter with jeno in the bathroom.
“what, what?” chaewon exclaimed, “they were there? out of all places jaemin could’ve taken you to?” she tried to suppress her laughter, but you saw how amused she was by your revelation.
“i know.” you groaned, letting your body fall on the sofa, head landing on her lap. “i’m convinced the universe hates me.” you covered your face with your hands.
“how did you feel?” chaewon asked, patting your head that was laid down on her lap. “when you saw jeno and karina together?”
you pondered for a second. how did you feel? there was a mix of emotions that coursed through you—guilt, anxiety, jealousy, anger. everything felt so different. jeno is—or was—your best friend. whenever you two argued, it could usually be resolved over a shared tub of ice cream, but this situation felt far beyond the reach of simple, sweet solutions.
no one knew about what happened that night, and it seemed like he had no intention of telling anyone either. you were equally guilty, of course, having taken part in such a scandalous act. but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak the truth aloud.
“i don’t know.” you mumbled, pulling your hands away. “i told myself before that i’ve accepted it, that he will never like me, but…” you trailed off, contemplating whether you should tell her to truth or just keep it to yourself a little longer. “but i have got to stop lying myself. i’m losing my goddamn mind because of him.” she nodded to your words. “it’s just so hard to pretend that he’s just my friend, chae.” a tear slipped from your eye, and she immediately reached to wipe it off.
chaewon stayed silent, still gently brushing your hair. “it’s okay.” she comforted, flashing you a soft smile. “you can’t just flip a switch and stop caring about someone who’s been such a big part of your life.”
her words struck like a chord. you blinked at her, sighing. “i just thought it would be easier as time passed by.” this time, you couldn’t stop the tears that gushed. you hadn’t realized how much you’ve been carrying alone. it was too much. you needed to clear your head.
“you’re not alone in this, okay? you’ve got me, mark, haechan, and now… even jaemin.” she wiggled her eyebrows, a teasing smile on her lips.
a small laugh escaped you despite the tears. “jaemin.” you repeated, the thought of him momentarily bringing you joy.
“excatly! and from what you told me, he sounds like a dream.” chaewon’s excitement bubbled up again. “now tell me more about him!”
the front door opened and shut, making jeno stand from his bed and walk out to the living room. jaemin was setting his keys down on the counter while shrugging his jacket off when he spotted jeno.
“hey, jeno.” jaemin greeted, smiling at him. “tonight was crazy! i didn’t even know she was the same y/n you told me about.” he recalled, heart feeling warm at the thought of you.
“yeah,” jeno replied gruffly, “so listen,” he started, making jaemin turn to him, listening intently. “y/n’s… my best friend, and i wouldn’t want anything—or anyone to hurt her, you know?” he threaded lightly, careful not to show too much emotion, but enough to get the message across. he knew he had no right to tell you who to date but something about seeing you with jaemin stirred something within him and he didn’t know if he wants to find out.
jeno couldn’t bring himself to admit it. he had been avoiding you as much as you were to him. he couldn’t face the consequences of his actions. this was unlike him. he didn’t mean to lie to his girlfriend—didn’t mean to lie to you. when he told you he was going to fix it, he thought he could get it over with karina. he saw you in the back of his mind every time he closed his eyes. he remembers the soft feeling of your lips against him or how your bodies were pressed up against one another. he felt like shit, having all these thoughts about a girl—his best friend—while he had a girlfriend. but something tugged at his heart, the sight of her brought him back to reality, grounding him.
how could he trade what he had for something uncertain?
jeno loved karina. he. loved. her. so he convinced himself. she was perfect—beautiful, confident, and everything he thought he wanted. he felt a pang of guilt every time he kissed her, every time he touched her. how could he hurt the woman he claimed he loved?
so why did the thought of jaemin kissing you make him feel like he was losing something he never realized he wanted?
jaemin raised a brow but nodded anyway. “of course, man. i like her. i wouldn’t do anything to mess this up.”
all jeno could do was nod, although the weight never left his chest. “thanks, jaem, that’s all i needed to hear.” he forced a smile before retreating back to his room.
your laughter echoing through the hall made jeno freeze. what were you doing here? he thought to himself. he curiously opened his bedroom door, trying to eavesdrop.
“sorry, it’s a bit of a mess. i haven’t had time to clean up.” jaemin nervously laughed, trying to chuck away any trash or mess lying around.
you giggled at his nervousness, “it’s fine, jaemin.”
you were here for jaemin, of course. jeno scoffed, shutting his door to try and drown out the noise.
it had been a week since your first date with jaemin, and the two of you had been texting constantly the minute you parted ways. to say he was great would be an understatement—he was perfect. he knew exactly what to say to sweep you off your feet, leaving you smiling and giggling at your phone more often than you’d like to admit. however, as much as jaemin was perfect, your heart had a way of tugging at you, persistently reminding you of the one person you were trying so hard to erase from your mind.
jaemin invited you over to his—and jeno’s—apartment. you were weary of accepting his invitation at first, not wanting to invade jeno’s space, especially after your encounter with him. but jaemin seemed so excited to see you again, and despite everything, you were, too. you decided not to let jeno affect your relationship with jaemin.
you took a seat on the far end of the couch while jaemin sat on the opposite. he shot you a funny look before patting over to the space beside him. “why are you so far?”
you were as nervous as him. you hadn’t been alone with a boy—other than jeno, mark, or haechan—in so long you weren’t sure if you could contain yourself. after all, you are still a very hormonal girl.
“no reason.” you mumbled, but your expression failed you. you were getting goosebumps with the simple chill of the air. jaemin chuckled, deciding to slide over to your side instead. your thighs touching from his sudden proximity.
“you’re cute.” jaemin muttered, his hand moving to brush the stray hair that fell on your face.
“are you sure jeno doesn’t mind that i’m here?” you questioned, facing jaemin.
“you’re literally best friends, i know he doesn’t mind.” he smirked, eyes falling to your lips.
oh, but jeno minded. he minded a lot. it wasn’t his fault that the walls in this apartment were thin. your voices pierced through, hearing your every word, every laugh. his chest tightening with something he couldn’t quite place his finger on—guilt? frustration? jealousy? all he knew was that hearing you with jaemin felt like a knife twisting deeper with every passing second.
“you’re so beautiful.” jaemin mumbled, licking his lips. you placed your hands on his chest, tugging the collar of his shirt slightly closer to you. his breath fanned your face as he inched closer to you. “just wanna kiss you all day.”
you closed the gap between your lips, savoring his taste. jaemin wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you so that you were straddling his thighs. you gasped at his suddenness, but you secretly liked it anyway, looping your arms around his neck. he effortlessly slipped his tongue into your mouth, taking control, and you let him.
you felt his growing bulge beneath you, making you giggle into the kiss. you ground your hips against him, pressing onto his cock, eliciting a groan from him. “who knew you were so naughty, hm?”
jeno had enough. he purposely pulled his door open, making a loud enough commotion to have you and jaemin separate from each other. you were about to hop off jaemin’s lap, but his grip on your hips prevented you from leaving.
“jeno, didn’t know you were here!”
“yeah, well, i live here too.” jeno grumbled, pretending to go to the kitchen and look for a drink. he saw you sitting on jaemin’s lap, and it felt like he was punched in the gut.
from jeno’s point of view, he could only see your face and the back of jaemin’s head. jeno’s eyes locked with yours, his jaw clenched as his gaze flickered to the both of you. your cheeks grew warm, your hands resting awkwardly on jaemin’s shoulders as if unsure where they should be.
“please don’t fuck,” jeno paused, eyes directly fixated on you, his eyes dark. your heart sped up, somehow getting his message. “on the couch.” maybe you were reading too much into it.
jaemin chuckled, his grip on you tightened, and suddenly, he stood up and held you in his arms. you yelped, legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. “we’ll move this party elsewhere.” he guided you towards his bedroom, leaving jeno alone in the kitchen with his fist curled up into a ball as he watched you descend into the room.
only a thin wall was separating him from you and jaemin. jeno knew what you two were up to. he sat on his chair, facing his desk, head in his hands as he tried to contain himself. his curiosity got the best of him. he stood up, walking towards the wall that faced jaemin’s room and pressing his ear against the wall.
holy shit. jeno thought. he could hear your soft moans through the mall, his mind flashing back to the night you spent together. the sound immediately traveling to his dick. jaemin either had his fingers or dick in you because the way you were whining for him sounded so pretty.
jeno couldn’t help it, he palmed himself through his pajamas, ear still pressed against the wall.
“fuck, jaemin.” he heard you cry out. he bit his lip, trying to prevent any noise from escaping him as he took his cock out of his bottoms. it didn’t take long before he heard clapping and squelching sounds from the other side of the room.
jeno was upset—upset that he had to listen to another guy fuck you while he pathetically jerked himself off. his fingers wrapped around his length, closing his eyes while he listens to your moans. he imagined you. imagined how you were in his room instead of the other. imagining how it was your fingers wrapped around his cock. he began to stroke himself slowly, his thumb smearing the pre-cum that managed to spurt from his tip.
your moans began to get louder, jeno began picking up his pace. fucking his hand with every sound that left your lips. his mind convinced himself that you were making such pretty noises for him. he contained the grunts that threatened to escape his mouth, lips nearly bleeding from holding back. you began chanting jaemin’s name through breaths, indicating that you were close. jeno continued stroking himself until he came hard with his hand around his length, just from the sound of your moans.
you jolted awake, glancing at the clock, the number 1:43 am on display. after you and jaemin had sex, you immediately passed out, not having a chance to get ready for sleep. jaemin’s arm was lazily wrapped around your waist. you gently pushed it away. your throat felt dry, so you decided to sneak into the kitchen to grab a glass. you picked up the discarded shirt on the ground—most likely jaemin’s—slipped it on, and put on your underwear before tiptoeing out of his room, careful not to make too much noise.
in the midst of chugging down a cold glass of water, the sound of a door opening was heard from the end of the hall. it was jeno’s room. you froze, realizing you were not in proper attire right now. you set the glass on the sink before trying to retreat into jaemin’s room.
“y/n?” jeno’s voice echoed through the hall. you mentally cursed as you got caught, thankful the room was still dark. that was until he met you in the kitchen, hand instinctively reaching for the switch to turn on the overhead lights. his breath hitched once he took in your state. legs bare and nipples hard against your plain white shirt that stopped just below your ass. it was like the universe wanted him to sin. “what are you doing awake?” he managed to let out once his eyes stopped taking in your figure. his voice was rough as if he had just woken up from slumber.
“just thirsty.” you mumbled, cheeks getting warm at your semi-exposed state. jeno wasn’t that covered at all, too. he was in his plaid pajama pants that hung low on his waist, and his chest was bare, his toned abs emphasizing under the dim lights.
jeno hummed, walking carefully towards you. “couldn’t sleep?”
you nodded, instinctively trying to move further away from him, but you bumped into the kitchen island behind you. trapped, you placed your hands against the counter to support yourself, forcing you to meet his eyes. you couldn’t understand the emotion behind them. your mind was getting hazy from his gaze. as much as you wanted to cower and run away, your feet seemed to stop working for some reason.
jeno leaned in slightly, his arms on either side of you as he gripped the edge of the counter, effectively caging you in. your whole body froze, unsure what to do next. all you know is his scent was once again invading your space. his face was so close to you that it reminded you of the night you spent together.
“why do you keep doing this to me?” he whispered, breath fanning your face.
“i’m not doing anything.” you defended, but your voice came out soft.
“exactly.”
jeno kissed you, and you kissed him back. your arms traveled around his neck, pulling him close to you. notwithstanding the fact that the guy you were seeing was in the other room, merely a few steps away from where you were.
the effect jeno had on you was different, almost perplexing. it was like he knew exactly how to get under your skin—like he knew that you would come crawling back to him like how he would to her.
jeno wrapped his arms around your waist. his tongue effortlessly slid into your mouth, twirling it around yours. suddenly, he hoisted your body so that you were sitting on the island counter, making you gasp through the kiss.
“open your legs for me.” he mumbled, pulling away from your lips.
you did as he told, spreading your legs. he stood in between them, giving you another short kiss before his hands traveled to slightly lift the hem of your shirt, just enough to give him the perfect view of your lacy underwear.
jeno groaned once he saw the wet patch forming between your legs. “you just got fucked two hours ago, and you’re still this wet?”
“how did you—“
“you’re not exactly quiet, sweetheart.”
you cowered, head turning away from him, but his fingers caught your chin, forcing you to look at him. his other hand hooking the waistband of your underwear, playing with it.
“can’t believe you’d rather get fucked by him when i’m right here.”
you glared at him. “this is wrong.”
“do you want me to stop?” you stayed silent, making him smirk. “that’s what i thought.”
jeno pulled your underwear down your legs in a painfully deliberate manner, making you swat his arm. he laughed, letting the fabric fall down the floor.
“keep laughing. i can just wake him up, and he’ll do it for me.”
jeno’s laughter faltered, a dark look in his eyes replacing his playful mood. “not fucking funny.” his hand cupped your core, a small yelp escaping your lips. his fingers ran down your folds, spreading your arousal.
your hands fell to his shoulders, gripping it as he teased your hole. it felt so wrong, but you had clearly decided to throw your morals out the window long ago.
“don’t like seeing you with him.” jeno admitted, his voice low. his confession was supposed to drive you crazy, instead, it felt unfair—like he wasn’t keeping his end of the deal.
“j-jeno.” you moaned, mindful of the volume of your voice. his fingers circled your entrance, just enough to drive you crazy. “you can’t tell me what to do.” you managed to let out, keeping him in place. it was almost absurd how he had the nerve to admit that he didn’t like seeing you with another guy while having a whole girlfriend himself. you bit your tongue back because, well, he was touching you so good, and quite frankly, you didn’t want him to stop.
“maybe,” he hummed before inserting two digits into your entrance. your head dropped to his shoulder, heavily breathing against his skin. he pulled his fingers out before inserting them again, your wetness coating his digits. “but at least i have you moaning my name like the slut you are.”
jeno thrusted his fingers at a pace that had your vision clouded with stars. your fingernails dug into his skin as he curled his fingers, hitting all your sweet spots. you bit your lip to avoid making too much noise, especially since jaemin was just in the room next to yours. his free hand snaked to your hair, gripping it while pulling your head away from his shoulder—careful not to tug on it too harshly—making you look at him in the eye.
“keep quiet. don’t want loverboy to find you grinding on my hand now, do we?” jeno smirked, making your mouth water.
you squirmed at the stretch of his fingers. when he felt you clench around him, he placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing addicting circles on it. his fingers effortlessly sliding in and out of you. his eye contact was overwhelming as he watched you tremble from his mere touch.
“oh god.” you cried out, face scrunching from the pleasure. your hips bucked against his hand, desperate to feel more.
jeno’s pajamas grew tighter at the sight of you, wishing nothing more than to bend you over and fuck you senseless on this counter—but he couldn’t. not when you just emerged from the room of one of his closest friends, where you did the same activities he wished he could’ve done with you. so he resorted to making you cum just with his fingers.
“be a good girl,” jeno mumbled, pressing his lips against yours. “and cum for me.” he increased the pace in which he was thrusting his digits, each one accompanied by the slight curl of his fingers.
your back arched just by his words, body pushing into him as small gasps left your lips. he almost smiles at the way you looked. so fucking cute, he thought.
“shit—jeno.” you whimpered. your stomach contracted, a clear sign that you were close. and with his thumb doing miracles on your clit, you couldn’t help but cum all over his fingers.
a string of curse words fell from your lips. legs trembling and breath shaking as you rode out your high. your posture nearly giving up as you tried to compose yourself.
jeno pulled his fingers away from your pussy. he couldn’t resist placing them in his mouth, lapping up your juices while maintaining eye contact with you.
that was so hot.
you swatted his arm, feeling shy, but he only chuckled. he leaned down, grabbing your discarded underwear from the floor. “can i keep this?” he boldly asked.
you pondered for a second before quickly snatching the item from his hand. “and if karina finds it?”
jeno grumbled, shoulders slouching from the thought of his girlfriend. “killjoy.” he muttered.
you hopped off the counter, slipping your underwear on. “i gotta go before jaemin wakes up.”
“right.” jeno mumbled, eyes lingering on you for a second, “no goodnight kiss?” he sure was getting comfortable.
“don’t push it.”
you sneaked back into jaemin’s room. his sleeping figure peacefully lying on the bed, almost in the same position you left him in. you nibbled on your bottom lip as guilt started to creep in. you occupied the space next to him. his unconscious self felt your presence, immediately wrapping his arm around your waist. you decided to close your eyes, slumbering taking over you while the weight of your actions sat on you.
you: i need u where are u mark: ??? i am not your sneaky link you: not like that asshole. need someone to talk to mark: diner? you: be there in 10
your eyes scanned the diner, looking for mark’s blond hair to stand out. spotting him at the corner booth, you slid into the empty seat before him. his head looking up to face you, his usual smile plastered on his face.
“hey, nerd.” mark greeted. “you okay? i thought you wanted to fuck me or something.” he chuckled, nudging his plate of fries close to you.
you groaned, head falling to the table. “i’ve had enough of fucking friends for a lifetime.” you mumbled, voice low.
“what’d you say?”
you lifted your head, crossing your arms on top of the table. “you have to promise not to be mad, okay?” you pouted.
“it depends.”
“mark! i’m serious, i don't think i can't take it anymore.” you groaned.
“is this about jeno?”
“what?” your eyes widened, head tilting at him. “not that i’m saying it is, but why did you think that?”
“it’s obvious. you two aren’t hanging as much as you used to. i just figured you got into a fight or something.” mark shrugged, leaning against the chair.
“before i tell you, you have to promise not to judge and that you won’t think any less of me.”
“alright, fine. i promise.” mark raised his hands in defeat.
you let out a sigh before telling him everything. starting from the night of the party—how that one tiny kiss led to the chaos you were now tangled in. you opened up about your feelings for jeno and how conflicted you were now that jaemin’s in the picture. you told him about how guilty you were for doing this to karina. then you moved on to your encounter at jeno and jaemin’s apartment.
mark’s expression shifted throughout your story. his expression juggling between shocked and confused. his brows furrowed in concern, mouth dropping in shock. he let out tiny coughs whenever the story steered into messy territory, his eyes wandering anywhere but on you, trying his best to keep his promise of not judging you.
when you finally finished summarizing everything to him, you covered your face with your hands, ashamed of your story. although your chest felt lighter at the thought of finally confiding about your situation with someone like you had just ripped open a wound and exposed it to the world.
“wow,” mark started, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “that’s… a lot.”
“i know.” you grumbled, looking down at the table.
“but i’m not mad at you.” he quickly assured, his tone gentle. “and i don’t think less of you. after all, you’re still human, y/n. it must’ve been so confusing for you.” his hand reached across the table, taking your hand in his, in an attempt to comfort you. “i won’t lie, this is really messy, but you’re not a horrible person. you just made bad decisions, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad.”
anxiety washed over you, you wanted to believe his words, but a part of you was convinced he was only saying this because he’s your friend. you shook your head, feeling defeated. “i don’t know, mark. i just… i could’ve stopped it, you know? but i felt stuck.” your throat tightened as the words left your mouth. “i was too caught up in this—this fantasy of mine that i didn’t realize i’d be hurting people.”
mark’s thumb drew small circles on the back of your hand. “hey, we’ll figure it out, okay? the first step is being honest—talk to jeno. if you really regret it, tell him this… thing between you has got to stop. he’s your best friend, y/n, and he has a girlfriend, i know it hurts, but we can’t force things to happen.”
he was right. you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself, especially with other people involved.
“yeah.” you whispered, voice cracking as tears welled in your eyes. “i’m sorry, mark.”
“don’t apologize to me.” mark squeezed your hand. “i’ll support you no matter what, but you have got to clean this up. because the longer you wait, the worse it will get.”
you stood outside the lecture hall where jeno was, shifting your weight from one foot to another as you waited for the bell to dismiss his class.
after your conversation with mark and a sleepless night, you decided to confront jeno. the weight on your chest had become unbearable, and you knew it was time to address everything head-on.
“jeno—” you called out as students began to flood out of the room, but your voice faltered when you saw that karina trailed behind him, naturally reaching for his hand.
jeno’s head turned at the sound of your voice. his eyes widened when they landed on you, surprise evident in his expression. he hesitated before walking toward you, karina following at his side.
“y/n? what’s wrong?” jeno wondered, his tone soft. you weren’t exactly on speaking terms recently, so you looking for his presence was news to him. karina stood beside him, making your stomach twist uncomfortably. she glanced between the two of you, curiosity and perhaps suspicion flickering across her face.
you gave karina a polite nod, barely meeting her eyes. you couldn’t even face her; seeing him with her stung, and you didn’t even have the right to be hurt. she returned the gesture with a tight, hesitant smile. you always sensed that she wasn’t fond of you, you couldn’t blame her—especially with recent events.
“i need to talk to you,” you pleaded, looking up at him. “alone, please?”
karina’s expression shifted, but she said nothing. jeno glanced at her, silently asking for permission. she gave him a nod as jeno mumbled something you couldn’t hear. she let go of his hand after he let her go with a quick peck on the lips, making you avert your gaze elsewhere—the simple act making your chest tighten with jealousy and guilt tangled together.
jeno returned his gaze to you and gestured his hand for you to lead the way.
you ended up at the park located on campus. given your situation, a secluded area wouldn’t be the best for you right now. you and jeno sat on a bench with the perfect fountain view. chatter could be heard from around you, and it somehow eased your senses.
you stayed quiet, pondering on what to say to him. this morning you woke up with a heavy heart. you spent all night thinking about mark’s advice. the events of the past month haunted you. although your time with jaemin had been filled with warmth and laughter, the guilt clawed at your chest, begging to be released. you felt like you couldn’t entirely give yourself to him without addressing the elephant in the room with jeno.
it was unfair—to jaemin, who had been nothing but kind and sweet, and to yourself, for carrying a weight that wasn’t entirely yours to bear. it was also hypocritical, you were doing to jaemin exactly what you hated that jeno was doing to karina.
“y/n?” jeno’s voice bringing you out of your trance. you lifted your head to face him, his eyes filled with sincerity. “are you okay?”
you looked at him as if he had three heads. here you were, almost drowning in guilt, and he couldn’t even sense you were struggling. “are you serious, jeno?” you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest. the frustration you had bottled up spilled before you could register it. “you’re really asking if i’m okay?”
his eyes widened at your outburst, expression turning soft as he tried to read you. “i just—”
“i can’t take it anymore, jeno.” your voice turned soft, sighing. “this—what we’re doing, we can’t.”
“y/n…”
“can you be honest with me?” you asked. he nodded, gaze intent on you. “do you regret it? what we did?”
jeno paused for a second, scanning your exhausted expression. “i don’t want to hurt you.” he mumbled, voice low.
“that’s the thing, though.” you dryly chuckled, running a hand through your hair. “i’m already hurting. do you think it’s easy for me to see you with her, especially after what we’ve done?”
“what—”
“i like you, jeno.” you confessed, watching as his expression twisted into surprise. “i’ve liked you ever since we were kids, and i thought it was just a silly crush, but it’s not. i keep lying to myself that you’ll like me, that maybe you’ll see me the way i see you.” you spilled before you could even stop the words running out of your mouth. “every time you came to me when you fought, i thought that there was a reason you kept seeing me.” you blinked at him. “and i thought that you kissing me meant that you had the tiniest feelings for me, but you’re still with her, i see the way you look at her.”
“y/n, its not like that—”
“then what is it, jeno?” your voice trembled as you took a shaky breath. “because i—i’m losing my mind here, and you’re being… you’re being mean.”
“mean?”
“yes. you don’t have to lie, okay? i know i’m equally responsible for doing this with you, but i feel like i don’t deserve to be lied to. don’t tell me you’ll take care of things, and don’t tell me not to worry because i’ve been waking up worried ever since that happened! and what we did to jaemin the other day…”
“i’m sorry…”
“you love her, jeno. i get it. but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see you run to her every time? how hard it was for me to pretend like i’m okay with just being your friend?” tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, and you looked up to prevent them from falling.
“i didn’t—i never meant to make you feel this way, y/n.” the guilt in his eyes was so heavy it made your heart ache.
“then what did you mean to do?” you asked, voice barely audible.
“i don’t know.” jeno admitted, “i’m confused, y/n. i care about you a lot, okay? i really do, but i…”
“you love karina.” you finished for him.
jeno stayed silent, and that was all the confirmation you needed. you stood up abruptly, wiping your tears with the back of your hand before turning around to walk away from him, each step feeling heavier than ever
the sound of hurried footsteps followed you, but you refused to look back, not when you were this vulnerable. before you could take another step, a gentle hand on your arm prevented you from moving any further.
“y/n, wait.” jeno pleaded, softly tugging your arm to turn you. your teary eyes meeting his gaze.
“let me go, jeno.” you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself not to cry.
jeno’s grip softened, but he didn’t let go. “give me time.”
you blinked at him, caught off guard. “what?”
“i—let me sort my thoughts first, okay?” jeno stared down at you, his eyes genuine. “i don’t what i’m doing. y/n. but i know that when i’m with you, it feels…right.”
“that’s not fair.” you frowned, shaking your head. “it’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me.” his words did nothing to ease the ache in your heart.
“i know, but…” his eyes never left yours. “i don’t want to lose you.”
you let out a bitter laugh, wiping your tears. “you don’t get to have it both ways, jeno. you can’t just keep me on the side while you figure yourself out.”
“i’m not trying to,” he said, stepping closer to you. his hand trailed down your arm to hold yours. your eyes widened, and you grew aware of the fact that you were in public. “please, just—wait for me.”
you opened your mouth to respond, to tell him how unfair he was being. but before you could muster up the words, his lips captured yours in a kiss that was soft but so desperate. the action filled with longing, as if it contained all the words he couldn’t say.
the world faded away as if you were the only people there, and all you could feel was him—his lips on yours. you hated yourself for it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away.
your mouth moved against his before you heard chatter around you, making you push his body off of you. he kept his hand on yours, refusing to let go.
“don’t walk away, yet.” jeno pleaded. “i’ll make things right. i’ll talk to her and figure it out. i promise.”
his words sent a pang through your chest, making you shake your head. “how am i supposed to believe you, jeno? you always went back to her regardless. how do i know this isn’t just another moment you’ll regret?”
jeno pondered for a second, “i’ll be honest with her. i’ll tell her everything.”
“and then what?”
“and then,” he brought your hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. “i’ll come and find you.”
your breath hitched at the sincerity of his voice. you wanted to believe him, but the ache banging against your chest reminded you of the risk. taking a deep breath, you stepped back slightly, breaking his hold on your hand.
“i’ll give you time, jeno.” your voice was soft but firm. “but you need to figure this out, really figure it out, before i can even think about…” you trailed off, unsure about what to label the entire situation.
jeno nodded, determination in his eyes. “i’ll call you, okay?”
and with that, you turned and walked away, your heart pounding with both hope and fear as you left him standing there.
the day had slipped into the evening. jeno walked into the halls of his apartment, the soft glow of the sun casting shadows across the room, reminding him how long it had been since your conversation earlier.
he pondered how he would bring the situation up with karina. no matter how hard he tried, he could no longer bury this secret. his mind kept drifting back to you, to how you looked so disappointed in him, and every time it did, his chest tightened with the thought of how things would never be the same again.
jeno loved karina. every time he closed his eyes, there she was—her face, her smile. she was his anchor, the one thing in his life that he couldn’t discard. they knew each other’s flaws and strengths. they argued, but they always bounced back from it. sure, they had their differences, but they always got through it, finding their way to one another.
i’ve always loved her. jeno thought. that’s how it always was.
but you… you were different.
you were his best friend—the one who knew him. you had been there for him since day one. you experienced life together, laughing over stupid inside jokes, supporting different decisions, and comforting each other through the toughest times. you were his safety net. the person who he knew he could rely on when it felt like the world was against him.
jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. he had always considered you family—how could he not?
the thought of losing you terrified him. although he would be lying if he said he hadn’t had these flashes filled with thoughts of you. he’s used to dismissing them; it was you, for fuck’s sake. you had been his best friend for so long that even thinking of you differently felt crazy to him. but now, looking back to everything—the way his heart would race when your eyes met in a crowded room, the way his smile would reach his eyes when you laughed at something he said, the way he could always see you in the back of his mind—it all felt so clear.
realization came crashing down on him. his mind racing with thoughts of you. he thought it was just some passing attraction. but it was deeper than that. you were the only person who made him feel seen, the only one who showed him warmth. feelings he couldn’t even seek in karina, despite the love they shared. it terrified him.
he was too scared to admit it. he could no longer pretend. how could he? knowing a part of him belonged to someone else—someone who was not his girlfriend.
he felt sick, the guilt gnawing at him. he loved karina… didn’t he? his feelings for you were uncertain, fleeting… wasn’t it?
jeno opened the door to his bedroom, and his eyes widened at the sight.
“karina?” jeno questioned, brows furrowing. “what are you doing here?”
“jaemin let me in.” karina replied abruptly. her arms across her chest, an unreadable expression plastered on her face. she was sitting on the edge of the bed as if she was waiting for hours.
jeno set his things down on his desk before approaching karina. instinctively reaching up to kiss her, but she turned her head, his kiss landing on her cheek.
“what’s wrong, babe?” jeno asked, curiosity lacing his voice.
“you tell me.” karina responded, fishing for her phone in her pocket. a confused expression latched on jeno’s face as he watched her tap away on her phone. she raised her phone and shoved it in his face. “care to explain?”
his heart stopped. the color drained from his face as he stared at the photo she was showing.
it was you and jeno—kissing.
he could tell from your outfits that the photo was taken earlier that day, during your heated conversation near campus.
jeno’s mouth went dry as he racked up a response. “i—“ he stammered, words failing to come out.
“don’t try to lie.” karina interrupted, her brow raising. “winter sent it to me. we both know she wouldn’t fabricate such things.”
jeno’s stomach dropped. of course, they were seen, they weren’t exactly keeping it private. “karina…” he started, thinking of words to say to her.
what exactly do you say at this moment?
“that’s y/n, isn’t it?” karina scoffed, standing up, her height barely meeting his. “i always knew she was a whore.”
“don’t say that.” jeno’s tone shifted, eyes darkening as his voice got firm.
“what?” karina asked incredulously.
“she’s not a whore.”
“are you seriously fucking defending her right now? she kissed you! my boyfriend!” karina spat.
“i kissed her.” jeno admitted, his gaze all over her face.
karina nearly lost balance at his confession. “you—what!” she exclaimed, a frown forming on her lips.
“i kissed y/n.” jeno repeated, his gaze unwavering. “and it isn’t the first time we kissed.”
“what the fuck are you saying?” karina’s voice cracked, disbelief was written all over her face.
“i slept with her on the night of the retreat.”
karina’s eyes widened. “jeno—“
“i started it. i think i’ve known for a while, but i refused to face it.” jeno couldn’t even fathom the words he was spitting out. “i think i’m in love with her.” he admitted, more
the room fell silent at the weight of his confession. the burden lifted off his chest as he comprehended what he had spilled.
“i can’t believe this.” karina shook her head, a bitter, sarcastic laugh slipping past her lips. “after my friends told me i’m way too good for you. you fucking cheated on me? with some bitch?”
“don’t drag her into this. it’s my fault.”
“fuck you.” karina spat, prodding a finger on his chest. “and fuck her, too.”
karina stormed out of the room, pulling the door wide and loud enough to cause a commotion.
jeno called after her, “karina, wait. i’m sorry!” he followed her through the hall.
“sorry?” karina shot back, spinning around to face him. “sorry you got caught, or sorry you have a homewrecker for a best friend?”
jeno winced at her words. “i’m sorry for what i did.” he replied softly. “for hurting you. you didn’t deserve that.”
karina stared up at jeno, eyes glistening as his previous confession came crashing down on her. “i never want to see you again, jeno.” she said, voice breaking before she turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her.
jeno stood frozen in the hallway—the ghost of their conversation haunting the air.
“dude…” jaemin’s voice cut through the thick silence.
jeno turned to the source of his voice, a sullen expression on jaemin’s face. he was standing in the doorway of his room, clearly having heard the entire conversation.
“jaemin!” jeno exclaimed, completely forgetting his roommate was next door. “did you—“
“you’re in love with y/n?” jaemin cut him off, his expression unreadable. he tilted his head as he looked at jeno. “why didn’t you tell me?” he crossed his arms across his chest.
jeno opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. he took a second before letting out a sigh. “i couldn’t—i wasn’t sure.” he admitted.
“did you… sleep with her when we were together?” jaemin treaded lightly, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.
“no! no, we didn’t.” jeno defended, shaking his head. technically it wasn’t a lie. a little fingering doesn’t count as fucking, right?
“i see.” jaemin nodded, a weary look on his face. “i don’t think i can continue seeing her then.” he frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.
“what?”
“you love her, man.” jaemin sent him a small, sad smile. “i don’t want to stand between you.”
“but you said—“
“don’t get me wrong. she’s beautiful and amazing.” jaemin interrupted, holding a hand up. “but you’ve been there for each other since you were kids. i could never stand a chance.” he shrugged. his expression softening.
jeno swallowed, his chest tightening. he never meant for this to happen. jaemin is one of his best friends, and he had betrayed him. “she likes you, jaems.”
“but she loves you.” jaemin lifelessly chuckled. he took a step closer to jeno, placing his hand on his shoulder, and giving it a firm squeeze. “go get her, jeno.”
taking a deep breath, jeno smiled at jaemin. he knew what he had to do.
you anxiously stared at your phone, as if guarding it would make a notification pop up.
the entire night had been a blur of pacing around your room. the events of your conversation with jeno are stuck in an endless loop in your mind. you hated feeling this way, as if your heart was at someone else’s mercy.
“come on…” you muttered to yourself, checking your phone once more. nothing. just the same blank lock screen.
you sighed, flopping onto your bed and letting the pillows engulf your head. your chest felt heavy. what took him so long? he said he would fix things—was it a lie? maybe he changed his mind. maybe he—
your phone buzzed, snapping you out of your thoughts. your heart jumped as you grabbed it, only for your heart to sink even deeper. it wasn’t jeno.
it was jaemin.
jaemin: hey, y/n. jaemin: i’m sorry to message so late. jaemin: i think it’s best if we stop seeing each other. jaemin: i’m sorry.
your head began to spin. your eyes scan his message repeatedly, trying to make sense of it.
what? your mind raced. this wasn’t what you expected. why would jaemin reach out? and why was his timing odd?
your fingers danced over the keyboard, thinking of a response. a hundred of questions swirled in your head. was this because of jeno? did something happen between them? did he find out what happened in his kitchen that one night?
you: did i do something wrong?
jaemin replied almost immediately.
jaemin: you deserve someone who can give you their all, and i don’t think i can. jaemin: take care, y/n.
your brows twisted into confusion. his response made you even more curious. his words sounded kind, almost too rehearsed. it was as if something was missing, and you couldn’t figure out what.
you stared at the screen, blinking at his message. your emotions swirling wildly between confusion, frustration, and hurt. and still nothing from jeno.
what the fuck was going on?
another buzz came from your phone. instantly checking it, your confusion growing deeper.
karina: never knew you were into boys who had girlfriends karina: *sent one photo*
holy shit.
you sat up in bed, heart banging against your chest. eyes refusing to leave the photo of you and jeno, openly kissing each other from earlier.
and karina knows.
your hands trembled, throat feeling tight. you dropped your phone on your bed and rushed out of your room. tears blurred your vision as the gravity of the situation finally sank in. you had no idea what to do, the room felt like it was shrinking by the second. you needed someone.
without thinking, you rushed out of your room and ran to chaewon’s. you banged on her door, your knuckles trembling as tears flowed down your face.
the door opened almost immediately, revealing chaewon in her pajamas, her eyes widening as she saw your state.
“y/n? babe, what’s wrong?” she instinctively wrapped her arms around you, her hand caressing the back of your head to console you.
“i fucked up.” you cried out, sniffling against her shirt, but knowing her, she doesn’t mind. “i didn’t—i wasn’t—” you stammered, head feeling light.
chaewon hummed, “hey, hey, it’s okay. slow down.” she pulled away just enough to see your face, “whatever it is, we’ll figure it out, okay?”
“chae, i—“ you gasped, unable to stop the tears from gushing out. “i need to tell you something.”
soon enough, you both sat on chaewon’s bed while she tried to comfort you. you told her everything, sparing no details. she sat silently while intently listening to your spew. from repeating your confession to mark to your encounter with jeno earlier, down to jaemin’s cryptic texts—and finally, the photo karina had sent you. by the time you finished, chaewon had a worried expression from your entire story.
“y/n…” chaewon began, and you flinched lightly. you knew she was serious; she would usually refer to you using endearments or your nickname, but the lack thereof told you she was not in the mood to tolerate your actions. “this is serious. i love you to death, but you fucked up.”
“i know,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears with the tissue she previously handed to you. “i don’t know what to do.”
chaewon let out a deep sigh, grasping your hand in hers. “first off,” she reached up and helped you wipe your tears. “you need to stop beating yourself up. i know you’re in a sticky situation, but falling apart isn’t going to help you figure it out.”
you nodded, even though her words hadn’t completely eased your mind.
“and second,” she continued, voice growing softer. “i know you won’t like it, but you need to stay away from jeno for a while. let him sort his shit out. give him time.”
even though you refused to face it, the weight of her words eventually sunk in. she was right. it would be unfair for you to force jeno to make his decision immediately, especially since he is in a relationship.
after a long night of sobbing in chaewon’s arms. you eventually passed out beside her, with the thoughts of jeno being the last thing you remembered.
lightning struck across the campus as you exited the library, tugging your coast closer in an attempt to shield yourself from the downpour. you silently cursed yourself for forgetting to bring an umbrella today. looking up at the sky, you wondered if you could bolt through the pouring rain.
it has been a week since your last encounter with jeno. it would be a lie if you said you were doing fine. every passing minute made you even more anxious. he had made some efforts to reach out to you—sending you texts, calling your phone, and even talking to your friends to ask and see you. but your guilt was weighed heavier than your longing, and you had convinced yourself that you couldn’t face him. not yet.
you stuck with chaewon’s advice; you gave him space. although you felt like the distance was killing you more than him.
you missed jeno. how could you not? he was your best friend. you were so used to being so close to him that the space between you was foreign. you missed having him over and talking about everything and nothing all at once. you missed hearing his voice and his comforting laugh. a smile crept up on your face every time you looked back at your memories with him, making you feel ridiculous.
it was foolish of you to think that you could sway him into thinking that you were the one for him. he always loved karina and you were afraid that it was what his heart was heading towards.
you tried reaching out to karina. you sent her an text even though you knew words alone wouldn’t be enough to mend the damage. once you saw that your message bounced back, you tried again on another platform, the same thing happened. you realized she had blocked you on every social media app. you don’t blame her, of course. you had to live with the pain you caused her.
you clutched your bag tightly before running out in the rain. your apartment was a ten-minute walk from campus—maybe less if you ran. the cold droplets seeped through your clothes as you hurried along the wet pavement, shivering as the storm grew.
you nearly reached your apartment when a car screeched to a halt in front of you, its headlights glaring through the rain, clouding your vision. your brows furrowed as you used your hand to shield the bright light. squinting as you tried to make out who was behind the wheel through the rain. the car door opened, revealing a tall figure emerging from the driver’s seat.
jeno.
“what are you doing out here in the rain?” jeno raised his voice enough for you to hear him through the sound of the rain hitting the pavement.
“i didn’t have a choice.” you admitted, your voice trembling from the cold and the sight of him. you watched, puzzled, as he left the warmth of his car to stand in the rain with you, water drenching his hair and clothes.
“aren’t you freezing?” jeno questioned, shrugging off his soaked coat and gently draping it around your shoulders.
“aren’t you?” you looked at him with wide eyes. the rain dripping down his face did him justice, he still looked beautiful.
“you’ve been avoiding me,” he said, tone turning soft. deja vu. “why?”
“i thought you needed time.”
“i said i would come and find you.” his eyes locked on yours.
“karina sent me—“
“i know.” he interrupted. “i told her everything.”
your heart sped up. “how’d she take it?”
“we broke up.” he said, the weather matching his tone. ���for real this time.”
“oh.”
“oh?” his brows furrowed, taking a step towards you. “that’s all you have to say? oh?”
“well, what do you want me to say?” you frowned. “thank you for breaking up with your girlfriend for me?”
“i didn’t—you know it wasn’t like that.”
“then what is it, jeno?”
“it’s you.” jeno said. even with the rain surrounding him, you heard him loud and clear. “it’s always been you.”
you blinked up at him, stunned, lips quivering.
“i was too blind to see it,” he continued, stepping closer until your chests were nearly brushing one another. “too scared to admit it. but it’s you, y/n. it’s always been you.”
your heart pounded as he raised his hands to cup your face. his gaze was soft and focused on you. only you.
and then his lips were on yours, warm despite the storm. you melted into the kiss, your hands clutching at his soaked shirt as the noise of the rain started to drown out. the kiss was soft but so full of emotion that it left you breathless.
“jeno…” you whispered once you pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “i missed you.” you admitted, voice trembling.
“i missed you, too.” he mumbled, his lips brushing yours. “i’m not letting you go again.”
“kiss me.”
jeno didn’t hesitate. his lips found yours once again, kissing you softly but quickly turning passionately. his hand copper your cheek as his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, asking for permission. you parted your lips, and he immediately shoved his tongue in your mouth, exploring it with hunger. a soft whimper escaped you as his hands slid down to grip your waist, pulling you closer.
“need you,” he murmured, pulling away lightly. your gaze flickered briefly towards his car, and as if he had read your mind, he took your hand and guided you to his vehicle.
jeno parked the car on the side of the road, grateful that the rain had driven everyone to stay indoors. the windows fogged almost instantly as you both scrambled into the back seat, the heat between you radiating.
jeno’s hand found you once more, gripping your waist as he pulled you onto his lap. your legs straddling either sides of his thigh. he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you like he had been holding back for years. the rain was pounding on the roof of the car, but neither of you cared.
you could barely think, lost in the sensation of his touch as he slid down your coats. your heart beat against your chest once you made eye contact with him. you could make out the sharp lines of his face through the soft glow of the moon. your hand reaching up to caress his cheek, not believing that you had him in your clutches.
“what’s wrong?” jeno asked. “do you want me to stop?”
“no.” you instantly responded, shaking your head. “i just can’t believe it.”
“can’t believe what?” jeno’s lips trailed down your jawline, kissing and sucking on your skin.
“that you’re mine.”
“better believe it, baby. i’m not going anywhere.” jeno chuckled, kissing you again. his lips molded with yours slowly and sweetly. you pressed your body against his, hips instinctively grinding down on him.
“want you so bad.” jeno groaned, his hand reaching down to the hem of your shirt. looking up to you for confirmation, and when you showed no signs of refusal, he lifted the fabric off your body. leaving you in your soaked dark bra. “my beautiful girl.”
you grew shy beneath his gaze, trailing one finger down to the zipper of his jeans. “how bad?” you breathed, toying with his pants, feeling him grow hard below you.
“so fucking bad. i’ve been dreaming of having you again.” jeno admitted, hands roaming your body. reaching behind you to unclasp your bra—which he did effortlessly. once your breasts were on full display for him, he couldn’t help but attach his mouth to your nipple, enclosing his lips around the bud while his fingers circled the other. you moaned, arching your back, pushing your breasts closer to him.
in a swift motion, jeno’s shirt and pants were pulled off him and discarded somewhere in the car. your bottoms and underwear, too, were slid off your body. leaving the both of you breathless and naked.
jeno laid you down on the backseat, carefully trying to maneuver himself between your legs. his gaze on your completely bare body, all waiting and craving for him.
“you’re driving me insane, did you know that?” jeno mumbled, tracing his fingers over your delicate body. from your chest, down to your stomach, and in between your legs. “couldn’t stop thinking of you. no matter how hard i tried, i could always see your pretty face.”
jeno’s fingers ghosted over your entrance, making your breath hitch. his digits toying with your slick, spreading them up and down your folds. “so wet and ready for me, hm?” he teased, watching you squirm from his touch.
“j-jeno.” you whimpered, hips bucking as he circled your clit.
“so cute,” he whispered, almost entirely to himself. he inserted two fingers into your pussy, making you gasp. your hands fly to his shoulder to grip it for support. “you like that, baby?”
“y-yes, so good.” you cried out, making him smirk. he pulled his fingers out ever so slightly before thrusting them in again. keeping his pace steady as your pussy swallowed his digits.
“want to taste your sweet pussy.” jeno said, pulling his fingers off of you before sliding his body to the floor of the car. “sit up for me, baby.” he instructed, and you immediately followed. sitting up while he kneeled in front of you. “good girl.”
jeno wrapped his arms under and over your thighs, pulling your pussy close to his face. he inhaled your scent before darting his tongue out, licking your folds. you moaned out his name as his tongue circled your clit while his fingers returned to your core. he easily thrust his fingers in, curling them just the way you liked it while his mouth relentlessly sucked on your clit.
“oh god.” you moaned. your hand falling to grip his damp hair, tugging on it.
jeno’s rhythm was perfect. his fingers and tongue were in harmony as he pleasured you. you were a trembling mess from his touch, each movement of his threatening your orgasm to come even closer.
“you’re so fucking sweet.” he hummed against you, sending vibrations throughout your entire body. a jolt of pleasure coursing through you as he pressed his tongue flat against your clit, while his fingers increased in pace. “gonna cum for me, baby?”
you nodded, the familiar tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach. with just a few thrusts of his fingers, you came crashing down. you clenched around him as you rode out your high. his pace decreased while his tongue lapped up your cum. you shivered from the sensation, chest heaving from your orgasm.
jeno smiled before leaning up and pressing a sweet kiss on your lips, tasting remnants of your arousal on his lips. “ready for me, baby?”
“hurry up.”
jeno chuckled, taking a seat beside you. “ride me, princess?” he tilted his head, almost in a pleading manner.
you climbed on his lap, supporting yourself on his shoulder while your other hand reached in between your bodies to align his cock with your entrance. you teasingly rubbed the tip of his length against your slit, watching him bite his lip at the sight.
“stop teasing me. i need you so badly,” jeno grunted, his large hands reaching behind your back.
you smiled before sinking down on his cock, mouth falling agape at his size.
“oh fuck.” you whispered once he was fully buried into you. you caught your lip in between your teeth as your walls adjusted to his cock. his hands rubbing soothing motions on your back as he watched you with dark eyes.
“slowly, baby.” jeno assured, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.
you slowly started to bounce on his cock. the sensation was burning but quickly turned into pleasure. you held onto his shoulders as you increase your pace,
“fuck, fuck.” jeno chanted, head falling against the headrest. “so tight and warm for me.”
whines slipped past your lips with each bounce, the tip of his cock perfectly kissing your cervix.
“s-so big.” you let out, nails digging into his shoulders.
jeno lifted his head, his eyes falling to your breasts, watching as they bounced right in front of his face. his mouth caught one of your nipples, tongue circling the sensitive bud.
the car shook with every movement you made. the window fogging and the scent of sex filling the air. you gasped as jeno’s fingers reached between your bodies, thumb circling your clit. your legs started to burn from riding him, so you sank further and began grinding on him.
“holy shit.” jeno cursed, pulling away from your nipple. his free hand gripping your hip to guide you, pushing you further down on his cock.
“i-i can’t—“you cried, tears forming in your eyes. legs growing weak with every grind.
“you can do it, baby. fuck yourself on my cock like the good girl you are.”
jeno’s words sent shocks through your body, moaning loudly as you chased your high. the stretch of his cock was enough to cloud your vision with stars. feeling lightheaded as you rocked yourself forward, the friction drove you insane.
“fuck, that’s it, baby. almost there.” jeno groaned, his voice deep.
you were cumming in no time as jeno increased his pace in circling your clit. your body squirming as you clenched around his cock. but jeno’s grip didn’t falter, still guiding you to grind your hips and you did. helping him reach his climax.
“shit—i’m gonna cum. where do you want it?”
“inside, jen.”
“fuck, i love you.” jeno grunted, making your eyes widen. with a throaty moan escaping his lips, his cum painted your walls. you gasped as his cock twitched inside you. catching his breath, he placed a kiss on your lips before flashing you a lazy smile.
“what did you say?” you questioned, an evident smile on your lips.
jeno’s grin faltered, a flush of embarrassment replacing his expression. “i love you, y/n.” he repeated more confidently. “i’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”
“i love you, too, jeno.”
relief washed over him as he cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss that was slow, sweet, and filled with every unspoken word between you.
in that moment, the outside world ceased to exist. it was just you and jeno, wrapped in a love that had always been there.
“do we have to go?” jeno groaned dramatically, burying himself under your covers as if the mere thought of leaving your apartment was too much to bear.
you couldn’t help but giggle at him. grabbing his shirt from the ground and putting it on. the oversized fabric falling just above your thighs. “yes, jeno. we promised them, remember?”
jeno peeked beneath the comforter, his dark and messy hair sticking up in different directions. his gaze falling to your almost bare state. he sat up to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap, making you squeal. “why go to some party, when we could just stay here? in bed? loving each other?”
you playfully smacked his arm, although secretly loving his treatment. “because, baby, we said we’d be there. and besides,” you added, turning to face him with a smirk. “don’t you want to show off your girlfriend?”
the corner of jeno’s mouth lifted into a wide grin. “girlfriend, huh?” his voice laced with pride. “let’s go. but only because i love the sound of that.”
the loud music echoed throughout the house party. you and jeno entered together, his fingers intertwined with yours. as you both navigated the crowd, you spotted chaewon, mark, and haechan all hunched up together near the kitchen.
“y/n! jeno!” chaewon greeted, sending a wave over to the both of you. “what took you so long?” she engulfed you into a hug.
you returned her hug with a laugh. “it’s his fault.” you teased, nodding in jeno’s direction.
“hogging our girl all to yourself, lee?” mark raised a brow, smirking as he took a sip from his cup.
“correction,” jeno playfully glared, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “she’s my girl.”
“barf.” haechan made a gagging motion, scrunching his face. “can’t believe we lived to see the day these two finally get together.”
“finally?” jeno questioned, a knowing smirk on his face as he faced you.
“y/n had a massive crush on you—” haechan singsong tone was cut short by your swift swat to his arm.
“okay, that’s enough!” you interrupted, dragging jeno away to grab some drinks. “let’s get drunk, shall we?”
jeno chuckled, pulling your body flush against him. he captured your lips into a soft kiss, the chaos of the party fading into the background.
as the night went on, the teasing and laughter continued. jeno stayed close, his hand never leaving yours. it felt good—natural—to finally not be afraid. throughout the evening, you caught him staring at you on multiple occasions. his eyes filled with adoration every single time, your heart felt content, and you knew this was exactly where you were meant to be.
#please leave some thoughts !!!#this literally took my blood sweat and tears#nct#nct dream#lee jeno#jeno imagines#nct imagines#jeno smut#nct smut#jeno angst#nct angst#jeno x reader#nct x reader#jeno oneshot#nct oneshot#jeno scenarios#nct scenarios
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Been like this ~
Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹long distance put a strain on the two of your relationship, cw: a bit long distance, fluff, 0.5k wc
“You've been acting different.”
“What are you even talking about?” says gojo chasing you down the halls as you pack your things from his apartment
Its been like this for months—him going on mission for days on end, forgetting to respond back to you. Paying less attention to you and most of all….putting things before you. You put up with this for month talking to him again and again about your strained relationship. Your tears wasted on something that was bound to fail.
You've been warned from the beginning about getting into a relationship with gojo—how self centered he was now, think how stupid you were to not listened now. Of Course it wasn’t like this in the beginning, he was the stereotypical dream boyfriend, sweet, attentive, caring everything under the sun. Your long running 3 year relationship had suddenly coming to a halt.
The clothes which you have been packing in your suitcase were being simultaneously being taken out by gojo “you don't know what im talking about!?” you yell as you throw you shirt at him which took him aback. “ Im talking you you disregarding me like some one of your chores, Im your girlfriend for crying out loud and you cant even answer back one of my text!” yelling at him that you had completely zoned out only to see gojos' saddened expression but no answer.
Unknowingly tears streamed down your cheeks as you look at him—wanting to know so badly where it went wrong between the two of you on both ends.
“ Listen i know that i've been distant lately and im sorry for that ive been so stressed with all the thing that the higher ups are putting on me, not to mention preparing my students— ive been trying to balance things but i forgot prioritize you, and im not trying to excuse my actions but i promise if you let me try…ill treat you better.”
His hand reaches out to yours, the other to your face as he catches a glimpse of the tears running down your face—his thumb wiping away at the tear.
"hey, hey please dont cry...look—"
You let out a sigh “ you better not screw me over gojo or i swear—” you cut off by him pulling you for a embrace
Pulling away from him only to be met with a soft kiss on the lips that felt like forever lightly bitting your lip till you both pulled back
“I promise i wont.”
#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru#jujutsu gojo#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x female reader
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MINE - 최연준 ˎˊ˗ ⸝⸝
୨ৎ: ""mother fucker... " yeonjun snarled under his breath, trying to get a glance of the jackass who had the nerve to approach and even touch his girl. he felt his blood begin to boil, coursing through his body like wildfire. he normally was never like this. "
𓍼 pairing! - fratboy boyfriend!yeonjun x fem!reader
𓍼 warnings! meandom!yeonjun, whinysub!reader, ass smacking, big dick yeonjun, unprotected sex, breeding kink if you squint, slut shaming, groping, yeonjun referred as jjunie by reader, yeonjun calls reader baby, slut, and whore
𓍼 lexi adds! - I dont know how I've been able to finish TWO stories in the span of two days but ye enjoy frat boy yeonjun !! ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽ (i was too impatient to let the poll end) anyways merry christmas to anyone who celebrates!! hopefully you enjoy this gift
the party was supposed to be like any other, or at least that's what yeonjun thought it would be.
his parties were the most popular; everyone would be showing up, dressed to impress as the house was lit with bright shining colorful lights and loud music. good thing the music wasn't loud enough to wake the neighbours
yeonjun stood near the door, greeting guests one by one as they entered just as a good party host should do. maybe yeonjun's cool and funny yet approachable demeanour was the reason he became the most popular guy in college.
just because he was a fratboy didn't mean he was rude and distant like the rest. yeonjun was quite the opposite. thats the exact reason why you fell for him the same day you met him. it was only your first day in college, yet yeonjun talked to you as if he had known you for years, giving you a warm welcome as your upper classmate.
you definitely fell hard for him, but yeonjun fell even harder. he loved you so damn much, all of the small things you did reminded him why he fell for you. he just couldn't handle himself
whenever he threw these parties, he made sure your body was protected from any creeps who were trying to get a free show out of you. this time, it didnt really go as yeonjun wanted it to.
his eyes were looking around trying to find you amidst the crowd of people who were dancing inbetween the living and dining room. at the same time that he was searching, he was rejecting girls who tried flirting with him, giving them a quick "I have a girlfriend." after each of their attempts.
one girl in particular just wouldn't leave yeonjun alone, continuing to flirt and try to seduce him even after his polite rejects. yeonjun decided to stand up and go search for you but before he could walk toward the crowd, the girl stopped him, her hands running up and down his chest in a seductive manner.
"where are you going, jjun? stay with me, yeah? I promise you a good time~" she spoke, her voice full of lust and her eyes hinting desire.
yeonjun began to grow impatient his anger starting to get the best of him as he attempted to push her away lightly. oh but she wouldn't budge, staying put in her place and not wanting to leave yeonjun.
yeonjun chuckled nervously as the girl smirked with mischief. his eyes darted around the room, finally landing on you, and a guy...?
where his eyes playing with him? uncertain of what he was seeing, he blinked rapidly, trying to reset his vision.
he opened his eyes and looked again, the guy was still there yet this time, his hands were on you.
"mother fucker... " yeonjun snarled under his breath, trying to get a glance of the jackass who had the nerve to approach and even touch his girl. he felt his blood begin to boil, coursing through his body like wildfire. he normally was never like this.
that was when yeonjun lost it.
he pushed the girl aside a bit roughly, causing her to curse at him, but yeonjun didn't care. that's not what was on his mind at the moment. his only goal was to make sure you were safe.
he made his way through the crowd, finally finding himself infront the you and the guy.
"what the fuck do you think you're doing touching my girl as if she were yours?" yeonjun asked sternly before grabbing the guy by the shoulder and turning him to see his face.
the guy had the nerve to smirk at him, not caring to hear yeonjun's question. he kept his hand on your thigh which wasn't unnoticed by yeonjun. he looked at you, your eyes clearly showing discomfort.
that was all yeonjun needed. he grabbed you by your waist, catching you by surprise and you yelp. "jjunie!"
before you could say anything thing else, your lips were against his in a searing kiss, his tongue invading your mouth and dancing with yours. the guy could only watch in jealousy as yeonjun's hands dragged down along your hips and gripped your ass.
"whatever man, fuck you." the guy spoke for the last time before leaving the party completely.
yeonjun broke the kiss as you both pant to catch your breath. "that 'outta show that fucker."
"thank you, he was making me really uncomfortable... " you spoke warmly, pressing your head lovingly against his chest.
yeonjun signalled the dj for a microphone before speaking in a blunt tone, "party's over, go home."
the crowd awed in unison before obeying and grabbing their stuff to leave. you sit on the couch with yeonjun as you watch everyone leave. yeonjun's still hugging you with his arms wrapped around your shoulder, his grip tight. when a particular girl leaves she looks at you with a snarl. confused you turn to yeonjun who just kisses you in the same rough manner again.
after the party's officially over, yeonjun leads you to your shared bedroom, the room only really clean room in the whole house.
yeonjun sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "that fucker had me all worked up, what a piece of shit..." he huffs out, voice still hinting of anger. "baby, you would do anything to calm me down, right?"
"of course! why do you ask?" you questioned him innocently as you sat on the soft bed. he answered your question with a lustful glare in his eyes.
⸝⸝
"hmph-! jjunie, too fast! ah-!" you cried out pathetically, gripping onto the duvet sheets under you as yeonjun pounded into you mercilessly.
"shut up, slut." he spat out harshly before smacking your ass, causing you to yelp with tears soaking the bed. "all you do is whine and complain. I bet you liked it when he was touching you, didn't you?" he huffed while quickening his pace.
"you're going too fast oh god-!" just as you whimper and whine, you feel your head get yanked back by the hair, your scalp burning deliciously.
"what did I just say, whore? you don't ever tell me what to do. know your place shit-..." he groans and users your hair as a way to pound even faster than before. "take it! you know you can, slut. your hole was made for dick." he says this as you pussy clenches and gushes around his cock.
"jjunie! 'gonna cum fuckfuckfuck! please, let me cum!" you plead as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten. his grip on your ass tightens too as he chases his high as well.
"fuck! that's it baby, cum on my cock like the good little whore you are! that fucker wishes this were him." just as you thought he couldn't go any faster, he does.
right as his pace increases you cum on his cock, moaning out his name in a high pitched manner. "jjunie!!"
yeonjun keeps going, you could hear him huff and groan softly behind you as he continues to fuck into your spent cunt.
"you want me to cum inside? want me to claim and mark you with my cum?" you're too fucked dumb on his cock to understand what he's implying and just agree.
"yesyesyes! jjunie please-! i need it!" you mewl and grip the sheets with all your might before you hear yeonjun curse behind you
"fuck-! take it, baby!" he groans out, plunging completely i side of you, shooting out his white sticky cum into your womb, getting the perfect angle. he leans toward you, his lips right at your ear "you wouldn't get mad if you get pregnant, right baby?"
you shake your head, feeling worn out, "not at all..." he kisses your shoulder and grips your chin to make you face him.
"good, that's what I like to hear..."
𓍼 taglist! - empty! (lmk if you want to be added for future works please and thank you!!)
#txt hard thoughts#txt hard hours#yeonjun hard thoughts#yeonjun hard hours#yeonjun smut#yeonjun#yeonjun fic#txt fic#Yeonjun smut#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun x you#lexi's world 🍧!!
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sorry if this is too freaky!! feel free to delete 🫶
your hazard stuff is keeping me well FED 🙏 any thoughts on him with someone who has a very high sex drive? could he keep up? 👀 or is he tapping out early?
absolutely looove ur stuff n need to know if you’d ever write for my handsome man doomfist
A/N: I wrote this at like 2am so i heavily apologize if I sound a lil crazy at the end but I’m making hazard a switch any chance I get, I HOPE YOU ENJOY (also I have 2 fics planned for doomfist SO DONT YOU WORRY)
Hazard strikes me as someone who would have a lot of initial bravado and confidence, making it seem like he could handle anything thrown at him. He’d probably match the energy for a while, fueled by his charm and natural boldness, he would mostly last 2-3 rounds. However, if the pace is relentless, I could see him eventually reaching his limit—not that he'd ever admit it outright.
Instead, he might try to pace things out or shift the dynamic with humor or teasing to keep things interesting without burning out. He’s resourceful, after all, and likely wouldn't mind finding creative ways to satisfy his partner while sneaking in some recovery time.
If Hazard bottoms out early, it could be a bit of fun. Picture him swaggering in with all the confidence in the world, only to realize halfway through that he's way out of his league. His bravado crumbles hilariously as he taps out.
He’d probably own his limits in his own cheeky way—playfully blaming you for being “too much” or dramatically flopping back as if utterly vanquished, muttering something like, “Guess ye’ve got me beat, aye?” It’s a clever attempt to shift the attention, but you know better. His cocky smirk and little quips are all part of his charm, but leaving Hazard untouched after tapping out? Oh, not a chance.
Of course, Hazard can’t keep his mouth shut, even when he’s down for the count. He throws out a few bratty remarks, trying to needle you just enough to get a reaction. Maybe something like, “Is that it, then? I thought ye had more fight in ye, Love!” A bold move for someone who’s already teetering on the edge, and it’s clear he has no idea what he’s just unleashed.
The moment you decide to teach him a lesson, his fate is sealed. You push him past his limits, overstimulating him until every smart-ass comment has dissolved into desperate pleas. He’s squirming, whining, his earlier confidence shattered as he begs for mercy. “Ah, nae more, please! I cannae—” But you don’t let up, determined to show him exactly what happens when he tries to play coy with you.
Before he knows it, he’s trembling beneath you, flushed and wrecked, until, with no warning, he utterly falls apart—making a mess of himself in the process. His breath comes in sharp gasps as he lays there, dazed and overwhelmed, the realization hitting him that he’s in way over his head.
Maybe, just maybe, this will teach him a thing or two about lasting longer. But then again, this is Hazard we’re talking about—he’s bound to try his luck again, especially if he knows it gets this kind of reaction out of you. :]
#overwatch#overwatch 2#hazard overwatch#overwatch imagens#overwatch x reader#overwatch x you#hazard x reader#request#fav request#oh my god#i am a dog#i went insane#i am so sorry
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Perfectionism
----------------------------------------------------
Warnings: Angst, Fluff
Prompt: Dick came back from a bad patrol and doesnt wanna talk anyone besides you because 'they think less of him' in his mind (request @nesting-dreams for the idea )
Notes: Gender Neutral, italics are actions and thoughts.
-With that said it's all under the cut-
Dick practically dragged himself into the apartment, he thought he was hiding it well but he wore the sadness, stress and anxiety unmistakably on his face.
He was the first son, the example for all his other brothers. He felt such a pressure to be the ideal hero from everyone around him. Dick knew it was him just being a perfectionist probably but that pit in his chest wouldn't leave that easily.
He had found you in the kitchen making dinner. It smelled sweet but also so savory, his stomach was just aching for food. Your little bare feet padded against the ground as you moved around the kitchen.
"Hey, I'm home." Dick states as his arms moved around you from behind, you could just feel the tension rolling off him and you hands laces with one of his as you turn around in his arms.
"Rich, what's wrong?" It was exceedingly obvious something was wrong. The burner was turned off so you didnt have to worry about burning dinner and even if so he was more important.
"Do you...I- I feel like...Am I a disappointment? I fucked up tonight on patrol...Bruce sent me home early. I just..." He trailed off and was clearly beating himself up.
"Baby, I'm sure he's not disappointed." You attempted to reassure your sweet man, your hands had to reach up to touch his face because he was quite a bit taller than you. You closed the gap between you to by pulling his head down to your shoulder so you could hug and comfort him easier.
He hugged you and just burried his face in your neck, bending over like this was quickly uncomfortable so he picked you up and set you on the counter to help level the height difference out.
"What if I mess up and someone dies?"
"Baby, you are probably the most perfect and skilled in your family and you almost never mess but My Love...you are still entirely a human. Your humanity is what makes you so efficent and good at what you do...Jason and Damian dont have that, Tim bounces off the walls like a crack addict and Bruce often cares more about vengence than anything else. You're as close to perfect as perfect can be...If you were anymore perfect I'd have to dump you cause I'd feel unworthy." You joke sincerely at the end there to try to bring his mood up a bit.
"I made this like Japanese Curry stuff, do you wanna try it together?" You asked him trying to get his mind off all this and cause you knew he hadn't eaten and that probably wasn't doing him any good.
"It smell's amazing, Honey. Whats in it?" Dick mumbled into your shoulder, he was very hungry but he was so prideful.
"Just like steak pieces, carrots, potatoes and it's got some rice I'm gonna pair with it."
Dick moves out of your way and lets you prepare the food, he's starving but he won't tell you that. Once the plates were down and both of you sat at the little kitchen table you had, you held his hand with one of yours as the both of you ate.
The gesture of just holding his hand was just gentle reassurance and as his stomach was filled the worries and anxiety slipped from his mind, plus he'd never had this food and it was very quickly a favorite of his. Turns out his anxiety was just him being hungry and a bit of a perfectionist when it came to himself.
Masterlist
#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson#nightwing x reader#nightwing#batboys x reader#batboys x y/n#batboys
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umm what if we were sisters and we lived together and one day i got back from work and i was really exhausted (true story) and i was sleeping naked on my bed with the door open and you kept walking by and looking at my cunt, which just so happens to be perfectly presented for you, and at first you scold yourself for looking because thats your sister, but
eventually the blood rushes from your head to your cock and you falter a bit. "its not that big of a deal im just looking im not doing anything. is it really so bad that im turned on by seeing someone naked i mean cmon" i mean im sure lots of sisters have weird feelings about each other, you just dont talk about it, right? i mean seriously its not that big of a deal if you go in just to look. its fine. and honestly im not even awake so you can probably touch it too, i wont notice so no harm done. if i wake up you can just run out of the room and i wont even know. and if i dont even know you were touching me then who cares. i probably wouldnt notice if you slipped your shorts down and laid next to me, either. i mean i havent woken up so it mustve been a really long day, you could probably put a finger in me and i'd still be out cold. im getting all wet, so i probably like it. so really its not that bad or anything like seriously is it unethical if im obviously getting wet? if my cunt is dripping its probably because it needs to be fucked. well you cant go that far, thats just rape plain and simple, but if you rub your cock on me then its not really that bad. my body is literally asking you for it. just rub the head of your cock through the folds of my cunt, its probably fine. it feels really good and i'd want you to be happy right? so its fine. just keep grinding on me. im so warm and slick. if the tip slips in its not because you wanted it, if anything its my fault because im so damn wet. and if your cock is in me and im still not awake, then it must not bother me that much. so you should just keep going. dont go deeper than the tip, but stroke yourself while youre inside of your sisters cunt. stroke yourself and think of what a nasty big sis you are. you made so many excuses for yourself, but at the end of the day you're a pervert. you know it. you wanted to fuck your own sister, you freak. go on, moan while you feel how wet your sisters cunt is around the head of your cock. i cant believe youre actually doing this, this is so bad. this is so so bad. if anyone found out you'd be fucked. how do you think i'd feel if i woke up and saw you rutting into me like this? do you think i'd pretend im still asleep until you stop? do you think i'd ask you to fuck me? would i cry because my own sister defiled me? or would i push my hips back onto you? if i tried to protest would you come to your senses and stop or would you shove a sock in my mouth and tell me to take it? you've made it this far, you might as well push your whole length into me and spill your cum inside. let it all out.
#this is just a love letter to amos#long post#t4t nsft#trans nsft#t4t ns/fw#butch nsft#lesbian nsft#butch4butch#t4t#nsft kink#fauxc3st#fauxcest#cnc somno#cnc k!nk#cnc free use#somno k!nk#somno breeding#t4t siscon#siscon#1cky sister#lesbian ns/fw#butch lesbian#t4t sibcest#sibcon#big sis lil sis#t4t somno#t4t cnc
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Daisuke [Mouthwashing]
| vlogger x editor(reader) au | fem reader | fluff | pt1 > pt2
┊͙ ⋆. ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・. ˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄ ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・. ˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄ ೃ࿔*:・. ˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄┊͙
Pretty Duo hm?
- He’s been making videos for quite a while and hired an editor because he isn’t too experienced with editing.
- He makes a video pretty much every week, sends it to you, tells you some details he would for his video with a little, you’ll edit, sends the finished product, he loves it and post. Repeat.
- After a few weeks, the both of you started chatting with each other regularly,checking up on each other, talked about the similar hobbies you guys share, laughing at each other’s cringe roblox usernames. You guys even decided to have matching avatars.
-From chatting daily to having voice calls for random game nights to FaceTiming. You were shy at first to reveal your face but as time goes by, you eventually got comfortable with it. (Bro was gagged by your face card)
“I must be lucky to have a pretty editor like you. ;)” ,that line totally send butterflies to your stomach.
- One time he asked if you would like to be in a video and play roblox with him. At first you were quite hesitant since his number of followers were slowly rising and afraid that it would destruct his fans.
“Well if they start hating me, just let them. I rather have that then having some fake fans you know??” “Plus I’m just here to have fun so what can they do? Mhm?”
- After his reassurance, you agreed and record the video together online.
—— ✿ ——
“heyyy guysss I’m back again to play some roblox BUT this time with some company, guys act shocked act shocked,just kidding. Anyways this time I’ll be playing with my lovely editor~”, his screen showing both him and your avatar, waiting for you to introduce yourself.
There was a long pause. “Um…hi?” You said awkwardly as you don’t have much experience being recorded.
But after a while,you got used to it and the both of you decided to play some two player obbies. At first it was going smoothly, just simple jumps and walks. However, when you guys got closer to the end, the difficulty rises.
“DAISUKE PLEASE DONT MISS THE JUMP OR I MIGHT ACTUALLY BREAK. DOWN.”
“STOPP,YOUR STRESSING ME PRETTY GIRLL”
Your skin tingles every time he calls you that but it didn’t make you feel better. He indeed did miss the jump.
…a very long silence
“Alright,breathe in….and breathe out… We can do this..”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s alright, let’s try one last time before I might actually start raging”
You guys were extremely locked in and passed the final stage miraculously.
“WE DID ITTT (y/n), YAYYY”
“EYY GOODJOBB”
You made your character walk in circles around daisuke’s character and he mirrors your actions too.
You then looked at the time to realise it took almost two hours to complete the obbies, it’s already 1am which is quite alright since we’re used to it but you suddenly remembered you had other ‘important’ plans in the morning and cut off daisuke’s next sentence.
“hmm what should we play next-”
“As much as I would love to continue this all with you but I really have to head to bed right now”
“Ouh finally sleeping quite earlier then usual, aren’t we?”
“well I do have plans for tomorrow, quite important to me heh..”
“Okayy then, have a good sle-” he then pauses, his mind recalling his previous chats with you and the puzzle pieces matched. “Wait, your going to that cat cafe you talked about right??? I do remember you sending me a post about it opening for tomorrow or more like ‘later in the morning’ hmm?”
“Yeaaa, oh wait I did told you about it.”
“Could I go with you,pleasee. It’s not too far from my area and plus you get to meet ‘this gorgeous cool guy’ for first time in your lifeee.”
You felt ??? by the sudden plan of his, “mhmmm sure I don’t mind honestly”
“wait really??” “Ofcourse”
“I’ll text you the details later before I head to bed, I gotta go get myself cleaned up. Do remember to send me the clips before heading to bed. Soo I’ll see you tomorrow then hm? ;)”
“Yupp, I’ll see ya tomorrow. Have a good sleep if it’s possible~”
“Alright, goodnight pretty boy” You immediately left the call and got up from your seat, heading to the bathroom to get a quick wash up.
The excitement for ‘tomorrow’ was rising in you but yet feeling nervous and curious. How tall would he be? Would his behaviour be completely different? The thoughts were filling up your mind.
You head to bed with your phone, texting him about the plans while your allow your body to lay on the bed,sheets covering your body, head against your soft pillow.
“How about we meet up at a metro station first? Then we could walk tgt to the cat cafe? How does that sound to you?”
“That sounds great to me;)”
Daisuke replied almost instantly and brought up about having matching outfits and of course you couldn’t turn that offer down.
“hmm let’s match in colours then?”
“Suree”
“Any colours in mind?”
“Hmm, not really”
“Me too honestly. How about I’ll choose it tmr while I pick my outfit hm?”
“Sure but don’t be too lateee”
“Says the one who rarely reads chats in the morning”
“Man shut it, as if you’ll wake up in time”
“Okay okay you win. I guess I gonna sleep now or I’ll be late right, pretty?”
“Alright, goodnight to you”
“Night to you as well”
A small smile plastered across your face as you place your phone onto the small table beside you.
It def took you almost like an hour to only fall asleep due to your own excitement.
-I can picture daisuke kicking his own legs before having his sleep lol
┊͙ ⋆. ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・. ˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄ ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・. ˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄ ೃ࿔*:・. ˚◞♡ ⃗*ೃ༄┊͙
I think it will take a long while for me to post parts for this,I’m still new to writing and honestly I’m scared I won’t be able to write the next part. Anyways I hope you guys had a little joy in reading this,take care of your health!loveyouu byee~ :o
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing fanfic#mouthwashing x reader#fluff#daisuke mouthwashing#daisuke x reader#daisuke#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing x fem reader#mouthwashing daisuke#fanfic
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Sir Crocodile x Reader
I'll do a double posting this week cause I'm gonna be working on Christmas (don't ask) Here's something to make y'all a bit better since the last one.
On a professional and generally personal note, he would make a disgusted face if one talked to him about love. Hell, if someone even implied that he maybe loved you he would throw them his hardest glare and if already in a bad mood, probably threaten them.
But now? He wasn't sure what he was feeling. You weren't really.....at your best, he would say. Right now, you were pacing up and down looking frazzled and slightly crazy while he sat on the edge of the bed, watching you. The worst part? You weren't making any damn sense.
"Would you just tell me what's the problem here?" He snapped, losing it slightly.
"Nothing! Just go back to work or whatever! It's fine! There no issue at all!" You yelled back. Your face was deliberately not looking at his, as you just continued to pace back and forth maddeningly.
That's it. He needs to know what the hell is your problem. You weren't looking at him, you weren't making any damn sense, this was eating his brain. He was going to get to the bottom of this.
He grabbed your arm and yanked you to a standstill, making you stand in front of him.
"What is it."
"It's nothing! Just-"
"Just tell me. Now." He bit out.
"Like I said! Its-"
"Dammit woman! Just fucking tell me!" He yelled, finally losing it.
"It's you!" You cried out. Wait. What?
He blinked. His arm didn't lose its grip.
"Explain."
"It's just- you! You have this big thing of y'know your damn ego, cause of your ambition which is like, okay I get it. But at the same time you're dating me. That means that with all of your fancy stuff and your ruthlessness and your big huge dream of wanting to attack and destroy the Navy--which I fully support by the way-"
He watched you ramble, absolutely baffled by what he was hearing. His cigar almost fell out from this, his frustration was also climbing. This blasted woman-
"Cause honestly, fuck the Navy, but, not the point. Look, you have that, and that's a huge part of who you are and what you stand for and your big secretive past that you don't want to tell me and that's fine! Perfectly fine! However the issue comes when-"
"Would you get to the damn point already?!" He burst. His arm tightened around your wrist, face close to yours.
"I love you!" You yelped, staring with wide eyes straight into his purple ones.
He froze. Face dropping into one of quiet shock, with a very cold realization.
"I love you, Crocodile" you said, looking guilty. Guilty? Your free hand went to your hair, pulling, getting tangled, running through it, your eyes full of anxiety.
"I love you and frankly keeping in mind your ego, your ah, ambition and you-which I all love and respect by the way--I just, I just can't help but feel this could go very uh....pear shaped for me"
His hand eased slightly, brows furrowing.
".....Pear shaped?"
"Oh, uh....bad. Things might end up bad for me"
"How?"
"You, well, you could be I dunno, using me or something. Cause you don't love me really. You said it yourself. This is a business transaction." Your voice went quieter as you mumbled, gaze falling lower.
"Look at me"
"-And I know that you don't, so I'm not going to push it since this is fine and I respect your wishes but really! I just really don't like the idea of possibly be led on but dont worry I wont push it okay? You-" Your eyes grew wide as suddenly you were pulled into him, closing the distance. Your face was tucked into his neck, letting you get a whiff of cigar smoke, and expensive cologne.
"You silly little thing" He whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
"You aren't.....completely wrong. But things have changed." He murmured into your hair, limbs holding you tight to him.
You stayed perfectly quiet. Holding your breath, you were stunned. This....this was new. This was new.
"I love you too."
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awkward
I know you hurt me, but (hey) This is more than a friendship
✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
Iwaizumi Hajime x F!reader
Tw! Smut(ty-ish), mutual pining, being used (or so reader thinks)
✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
synopsis ; Hajime heard rumors about you, and since you were his close friend from childhood, he obviously has to go out of his way to see if they're true.
✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
it's your third year and obviously that means rumors are still being spread by any and everyone who enjoys gossip.
this time the rumor was about you.
"She's been with over 5 of the guys on the volleyball team"
"She's had 15 boyfriends from what I heard."
A bunch of bullshit really.
You had never been with anyone.
At least that's what your life long friend Hajime had thought.
But now that he's thinking, the past year you've been really strange and distant.
Disappearing and reappearing at odd hours of the night, to strange locations.
Hajime only knows this because he has your location, naturally, he's your best friend, he's got to watch out for you however he can.
At least that's how he explained why he needed your location to you anyways.
You on the other hand, had found an interest in photographing run-down and nearly abandoned parts of your home town.
Sneaking around at 2:30 in the morning made it easier to get into these odd, sleazy places.
That was until a few weeks ago when a group of boys from the school caught you walking around a risqué club chatting with a few older men who you knew from your first year when they were third years.
And that's how you ended up in this situation.
4 large men towered over you, spouting off a jumble of questions.
“How come sawaka says he saw you mingling up with some shifty old guys at a strip joint?”
The tall dark haired boy, issei, asks. His arms are crossed and hes giving you a near parental eyebrow raise.
“W-what?” You stutter out. Genuine confusion on your face.
“You heard him! Now answer!” The tone of oikawas voice almost sounds like a whine from a child more than a demand.
“Gah! You guys dont control me!” You gather up your things and stand.
“And just where do you think youre going?” Makki now opens his mouth, but you know hes just antagonizing the situation, he probably couldnt care less about whatever you got up to in your own time.
“Away! Forever!” You say dramatically, leaving the classroom to enjoy your lunch elsewhere.
That night your phone rings, around 12:30 am.
Your eyes look up from your notebook that youd been doodling in for the past 4 hours.
Answering it a gruff voice speaks out
‘Can i come over? We need to talk.’
Iwaizumi seems upset.
‘Yeah of course, ill meet you down the street.’
10 minutes role by and you make it to the little park down the street from your house, just as Iwaizumi arrives.
He looks good, he’s starting to fill out and looks more manly than ever.
“Hey…??” You say in a questioning manner. You couldnt tell how he was feeling right now and then pit in your stomach was growing ever since he said those words.
“Your parents are still out of town?” He asks making his way past you to start the walk back towards your home.
“Yeah, for another 5 days i think? Who knows.. hah..”
Smooth, jackass, real smooth.
“Ah! Thats lame, i dont know how you stay home alone all the time like that.”
The mood lightens a bit with his goofy tone coming out slightly.
Hajime had always been the more serious one out of the two of you but that was never the case when it actually came down to being just the two of you.
He always was cracking jokes and acting like a fool, just to get a smile from you.
“Yeah, me either, i just stay up in my room now, i guess.”
“Seems boring.”
“Eh.” You shrug your shoulders, unlocking your front door.
You two make your way up to your room, not before raiding the kitchen for snacks and drinks first though.
This felt normal.
Like old times.
You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you two had hungout like this.
Over the past year you had drifted away from him, only because you couldnt help yourself.
Your once innocent thoughts about the boy youd grown up with had started becoming more and more…colorful.
The way his hands looked when writing, all the years of volleyball had definitely done good things for the man.
His arms were veiny as well as his hands.
His shoulders were broad and made him looks 10 xs more masculine than he already did.
Not to mention his voice had significantly dropped and his voice cracks had almost completely disappeared.
He was becoming a man and you were becoming a woman. And women have needs.
So instead of being selfish you separated yourself from him.
“So, you wanted to talk?” You ask, shoving a handful of popcorn in your mouth, sitting crisscrossed facing him on your bed.
He shifted to sit criss cross to face you now.
“Yeah, about the stuff going around school. You know, the things people are saying about you.”
“What about it? Its not true. If thats what youre wondering.”
“I mean- i didnt think so but…” you cut him off before he can say anything else.
“But you just had to figure it out for yourself?”
You knew him too well.
You saw something in him shift, a sudden energy overtook the room, one you hadn't experienced before.
He looked at you, "Yeah. You could say something like that."
"What do you mean?"
The way he looked back up at you after you had asked that sent a warm heat through your body.
"I mean, I've seen your location, why are you running around dirty parts of the city in the middle of the night? Are you really down there...doing things?" He seemed upset for second but then became stern again.
"Things? Like what? Partying?"
"I guess."
"No.," you sigh rolling your eyes as you lift yourself off the bed, reaching for your laptop. "I've been doing photography of the nightlife and shit."
He takes the laptop from you when you offer it to him, clicking through the hundreds of photos you'd accumulated over the past year.
After a bit of silence he speaks up.
"Wow, y/n, these are," he looks up at you and gives you a huge smile. "amazing! Holy shit dude! Why didnt you tell anyone about this?”
“Because i wanted it to be my own thing that i do for myself.”
He hands you back your laptop and you close it moving to set it on your desk.
A sudden change in energy yet again settles around your room.
Hajime is looking at his hands fiddling with his thumb and index finger, youre re-situating yourself on your bed when you look back up at him.
You know third year is coming to an end, which means he’s going to California soon.
You open your mouth to speak to him.
“I got into UCLA.” You say confidently.
He now looks up at you eyes wide.
“What?” He asks, wondering if maybe he misunderstood.
“I couldnt just let you go to the US without me. That wouldnt be fair y’know!”
He lifts off his side of your bed and tackles you down in a hug.
Positioning himself to hover above you now he has a giant grin on his face.
One only youve ever seen, hes goofy, and totally a sports nerd, well mannered, and sweet. This is a side of him only youve ever gotten.
“Youre not pulling my leg are you?” He give you a near-disappointed face.
“No. Im serious.”
“Ok.,” His eyebrows furrow and he turns his head for a second, a blush spreading on his face, with a huff he looks back at you. “Im…im glad youre coming. And im glad youre not out partying and getting with other guys.” He looks more serious than before.
“Other guys?” You raise a brow at him.
His face gets even redder than before.
“Well, yeah. I just figured you knew that i liked you….”
“You just ‘figured’ that i knew that you, hajime, liked me, y/n? And how exactly would i have figured that out?”
He rolls off of you now laying next you looking at your ceiling.
You’re nervous. He likes you? The guy that you’ve spent your entire life with like you…back?
“I dont know. The guys said it was obvious so there was no way you didnt know.”
You give him a blank stare into the side of his head.
“You are the biggest idiot i have ever met.”
He now looks at you, you can see him visibly shrink in on himself.
A few moments go by and you turn your head back to look at the ceiling.
“I love you.”
He sits up turning to look at you laying down.
“I love you.”
You sit up and your guys faces are so close you can see the faint scars on his face from all the roughhousing over the years.
Hes looking at you blankly, unable to comprehend that you might actually love him.
You roll your eyes at him. Knowing exactly how hes reeling in his own head.
“Im not lying, i love you.”
He gives you a raised brow.
You huff and lean in closing the distance.
He kisses you back, his hands snaking up around you, under your tshirt.
Hajime had been with a few girls before. He had told you about it, obviously.
Honestly you shouldve been more upset at the fact he was being a total hypocrite right now.
Things had heated up, he was between your legs, caging you beneath him, you had your hands in his hair, holding his lips to yours.
He was grinding up against you, you were moaning into his mouth.
Next thing you knew he was ripping your clothes off and you were pulling his off of him.
He ran himself over your wetness and let out a groan.
Pushing himself into you, you let out a loud gasp at the sudden splitting feeling.
He kissed your jaw whispering in your ear.
“You ok?”
You moaned and rolled your hips forward a bit, to signal you wanted him to move.
He began moving back and forth, slowly at first, until you begged him to go faster.
Soon he had your leg up on his shoulder and was leaning over you, leaving kisses down your jaw and neck.
“H-haji-,” he leaned up, not slowing his pace. “M’ gonna- m’gonna”
He threw his head back pulling your hips to match the pace of his thrusting, he was going deeper and harder than before, the knots were tightening in your abdomen.
“Do it.”
With that you let go, seeing fireworks fill your vision.
“F-fuck!” He pulled out cumming on your stomach.
He got up and retrieved a washcloth from your bathroom, cleaning you up.
Getting dressed again you laid back down, him in his boxers next to you.
But he was facing your wall. You felt a ping of hurt in your chest as you crawled back into your bed, where the boy you loved had just deflowered you.
“Haji-“ you spoked but stopped when you heard a soft snore leave his mouth. A sigh left your lips as you faced the other way and closed your eyes. Youd just talk to him in the morning.
✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
Morning rolled around and you found yourself in the middle of your bed. Looking around you didnt see hajime or his things. You stood out of bed and looked to your clock.
5:45 am.
You grabbed your phone, opting to call him instead of search around for him.
No answer.
You thought back to the night before and felt sick to your stomach.
Maybe you messed everything up.
These thought filled your head all the way to school.
When you arrived in the classroom you saw him sitting at his desk. Right next to yours.
You made a slow approach towards your usual seat, eyeing him like he was some sort of monster that would spot you at the slightest movement.
Sitting down you finally turned towards him.
“Hey.” You said soft enough for him to hear it.
He looked at you then turned away quick. Not answering.
You looked down at your lap, where your fingers were twirling anxiously.
✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
This act kept up for 3 whole weeks. Not one word said between you two.
This was becoming a problem for your mutual friends on the volleyball team.
You had stopped coming around to practices and ignoring the other boys. It was lowering the whole teams morale.
Finally oikawa had enough and cornered you against a corner with the other 2 boys.
“What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On.”
It wasnt a question. It was a demand.
“Nun ya.” You said crossing your arms and rolling your eyes.
Maki smacked the wall next to your head leaning down to make eye contact with you.
“Tell us now.” He was dead serious.
“Fine.,” you huffed looking away from them. “Hajimeandihadsex3weeksagoandheleftinthemiddleofthenightandhasbeenignoringmeeversince.”
“Woah-woah- you and haijime WHAT?!” Now mattsun spoke up shaking his head in disbelief.
“We had sex. And then he rolled over in my bed and went to sleep. And now hes ignoring me. And hasnt talked to me in 3 whole weeks.” You were looking at your shoes, tears had finally built up in your eyes.
Oikawa put his hand on your shoulder.
“Hey,” it was soft spoken, unusual from his normal behavior. “Hes a dick for that. You didnt deserve that.” He patted your back and motioned for the other two boys to follow him.
They made their way to Hajimes classroom telling him to come with them for an impromptu club meeting. He followed unknowingly.
They found themselves in the club room.
Hajime in a familiar position that you had been in by the same boys just a bit prior.
Oikawa, Maki, and Mattsuwaka had evil and dangerous looks on their faces. Hajime was scared.
Mattun spoke. “Whats your problem?”
Then oikawa through gritted teeth. “Youve got some explaining to do.”
And finally Maki, “How is it you bag the hottie whos our number one supporter and somehow you manage to fumble her?” Hes popping his knuckles in a threatening manner.
Iwaizumi gave a few dumbfounded blinks then spoke up.
“I uh-,” he was cut off by the three boys leaning over him more than they were before, closing out any light from the corner he was in. He cleared his throat and spoke again. “I came really quick. And uh. Im embarrassed to talk to her.”
The three boys all exchanged glances before leaning back up.
Hajime leaned all the way back up as well.
Maki reached out and landed a hard punch to the cornered boys stomach.
“You fucking idiot!”
Oikawa now spoke, “you know, y/n thinks that you hate her? She was crying over it earlier!”
Mattsun pushed hajime towards the door.
“You better go fix this. Fucking dumbass.”
✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
It was 8:30 pm.
Hajime knocked on your door, hoping your parents were off somewhere for work.
You answered the door.
Hajime took you in.
You had on a too large Tshirt he knew to be oikawas, one you had stolen a year prior, during a group sleepover at mattsuns.
Hajime remembered you had been baking cookies in the kitchen with the tall setter when he caked you in flour and eggs. In exchange he offered up his sleep shirt, feeling bad afterwards about the mess he made.
Looking down a pair of his own boxers sat on your hips. Folded down a few times so theyd fit you.
They mustve gotten mixed in your laundry at some point. Who knows.
“Haji! Hi!” You gave him a wide-eyed stare. Caught off guard by his sudden presence after weeks of missing him.
He looked at you then down at his feet, kicking a small rock he shoved his hands in his pockets, looking back up to you he spoke.
“Im really fucking sorry y/n.”
✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
You had only seen him like this twice in your entire life.
Once when he and oikawa broke your brand new guitar that you spent a whole summer babysitting and doing odd jobs to save money for.
Hes still doing chores for his mom to this day to pay off the debt of buying you a new one.
The second time was 2 summers ago when you and the other volleyball team members went camping for a summer bonding trip.
Oikawa and hajime were sitting next to you rough housing when the black haired boys elbow flew back and hit you square in the nose.
A quick *crack* sounded on impact.
He slowly turned his head to look at you, blood rushing down your face from your nose, your nose was already purple and crooked to one side.
“Holy shit. Holy shit, holyshit. Holyshitholyshit.” You panicked.
The other team members gathered around you, unsure what to do.
“We… we need to go to the hospital.” Hajime spoke up.
“You fucking broke my nose!” You were crying, trying not to touch your nose.
“Oh fuck!” Oikawa now said bring everyone back to earth.
With a rush you were in a coaches car with haijme holding you stroking your hair.
“Im sorry” was all he said to you for the 30 minute drive.
He never lived that down. But you werent too mad.
You got a free nose job and hes still paying off his debt for breaking your nose.
✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
“Wha-“ you were cut off by him speaking again.
“I really really fucked up y/n. And im so sorry. I love you and i was embarrassed and didnt know what to do.”
“Not ignore me, maybe?” You huffed now annoyed.
“I know. Im sorry.,” he looked around then straight abck at you, now straightening his posture. “I love you too.”
You blinked a few times then began shutting the door.
He stopped you with his foot.
“Wait!”
You groaned loudly then reopened it.
“What? You really hurt my feelings and now you just want me to be like ‘oh ok, cool youre embarrassed you fucked me’ and move on?”
“No! I- i want to explain myself.”
You leaned against the door and rolled your eyes. “Fine.”
“I uh, i camereallyfastandthiughtyoudhatemeandbeembarrassediwasyourfirsttime.”
You now stood completely infront of him.
Your eyes yet again wide in surprise.
“So you ignored me because you came quick?”
He was now giving you the same dumb look you had just given him.
“Yeah.” It was quiet. Like a scolded child.
“So what? I came too, i dont know how all this sex stuff works exactly but i think were even.” You now had an eyebrow quirked up at him.
“Oh…”
“Yeah ‘oh’ you ignored me for 3 weeks because you came quick or whatever you just said.”
He now looked extremely embarrassed.
“How are you going to make it up to me?” You asked.
“Uhm,” he stood there thinking for a second. “How about a date? Tomorrow? 7pm? Wear something nice?”
You felt a smile grow on your face.
“Sounds good.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”
#haikyuu#x reader#haikyuu x reader#fanfic#hq fanfic#hq fluff#hq x you#hq smut#hq angst#haikyuu smut#iwaizumi hajime#iwaizumi haijime x reader#seijoh#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#haikyuu oikawa#mattsun
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nothin prompted this on here but. not to be dramatic but if one more 14 yr old on discord calls me (grown adult man) "kid" ill morph into a lampshade can they just not. it feels so weird when ppl younger than me do that like i get yall do it as endearment but PLEASE im AN ADULT !! /lh who tf r yall gonna call kid in ur life anyway u cant even by energy drinks or go to see the fnaf movie like calm down..
#gen like even if ur my friend plz try not to call me kid or whatever it feels. infantalizing#and i know no one means it that way but#growin up autistic and with “childish” interests and ways of reacting ppl calling me a child or kid or whatever is so. eugrgh#also btw. as a man who has been through some shit online#its NEVER a good idea to present yourself as more mature than the adults around you because you never know who will latch onto you#i was used as a helpline from the ages of 14-16 and it was traumatising all because i was seen as more mature and able to handle it#its. yeah#like not saying everyone is like that but#idk my own two (very biased and traumatised) cents on the matter#be all end all is dont talk down to me at all#also if anyone acts like that on anon and u dont sign off as someone i know i might just block you#i block very freely so if u just annoy me too much ur gone.#if any of my friends go “oh im scared i annoy you too much” ill eat your fucking sofa this isnt about u here close ur eyes gang /lh#and again. NOTHING PROMPTED THIS POST OTHER THAN SOME ANNOYING KIDS ON A DIFFERENT PLATFORM#vent i guess?? more complaining#jack's hawkin the headlines !!
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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What is the PR disaster in question that made Rick announce TSATS? I wasn’t active in the online fandom at that point
Of course! This was awhile ago so it figures people don't remember it/aren't familiar:
Basically a couple years back (2020) the fandom had some posts circulate discussing the ways different characters in the Riordanverse were written poorly or offensively. There was a masterpost that went around tumblr but the two major points people were particularly focusing on were Piper and Samirah (particularly because Piper had featured prominently again in Trials of Apollo recently and the third MCGA book had further emphasized and discussed Samirah being Muslim, since it was supposed to take place during Ramadan). Basically each had multiple posts breaking down the ways they were depicted incorrectly or offensively. The entire fandom for a little bit was VERY intensely discussing this (and it's around this time the "RR crit" tag got very popularized on tumblr - it did exist before, but suddenly was being used VERY frequently - cause it was that wide-spread - though the discussion took over basically every side of Riordaverse social media on different platforms). People really wanted Rick to respond to these criticisms, so he did!
He made two blog posts, one about Piper and one about Samirah. He has since deleted both so the links are to archived versions. The short version: he essentially tried to justify his poor research and double-down that he hadn't written them offensively, actually, people were just being mean to him. The fandom, of course, reacted poorly to this.
[Further elaborated events under the cut since this got a bit lengthy]
(Fun fact, this all happened within a month or so of the time i posted an open letter on aphobic tropes in the Riordanverse that Rick replied to, and then he immediately followed with announcing that Reyna was intended to be ace-coded [which cause a LOT of fandom debate] before Rick dipped for a couple of weeks, and then came back to post the blog posts in response to Piper and Sam stuff. So I like to jokingly refer to this as "The time I imploded the fandom/drove Rick off of twitter." Twas I that set the house ablaze.)
Rick fully left social media after this and the LT Musical social media manager became Rick's social media manager for the time being.
So this all happened June/July of 2020. Tower of Nero would end up being published in October of 2020 and a few months after that Rick would state that he was done with the series and wouldn't be writing any more series installments involving Percy, and also that he wouldn't be writing a Nico quest following Tower of Nero as it "wasn't his place to" and encouraged the community to write their own versions of Nico's story.
The community continued to circulate the tumblr posts and discuss the topics of Rick's offensive character depictions, and this is also where we see the dramatic shift in how the fandom depicts Piper in fanwork (though in most cases it is admittedly not an improvement 😬) because of all this discussion. This is also around the time when the fandom brought Viria under scrutiny claiming that she was whitewashing Piper as part of the same discussions, through the justification that she was drawing Annabeth as having tan skin (which she does canonically), and if Annabeth has tanner skin then Piper then that's whitewashing Piper? Except they were using completely separate images of not fully rendered Piper art versus Annabeth in dramatic lighting, so it's all very awkward and poor logic, and did actually get kind of racist. A lot of people were calling it "Tannabeth Blackchase" (yeah, i know) or similar and a common sentiment you'd see repeated is "Don't draw Annabeth as having darker skin than Piper, because that's offensive/racist/whitewashing." (Note: it was not phrased "don't draw Piper as having lighter skin than Annabeth" - we also won't get into certain offensive depictions of Native Americans, but I digress). But yeah, the Annabeth stuff in all that did not age well at all.
Anyways, in October of 2021 however Rick would announce that he was co-writing The Sun And The Star - with a lot of heavy emphasis on how Mark Oshiro works as a sensitivity reader, and some false advertising from the official social media that Mark Oshiro was the first time a non-Riordan author would be collaborating on the series (disregarding the ghostwriters completely). One of the big criticisms in the breaking down of issues in Rick's writing was his lack of ever seeking a sensitivity reader, and fans claiming that a sensitivity reader could solve a lot of the problems. This was basically Rick's "look! I totally listened!!!!" (though it did little to actually improve things, based on the book) and in TSATS as well Piper gets a large cameo at the end where the text very directly addresses a lot of points made in criticism of Rick's writing of her.
We also then of course got the CoTG trilogy later, explicitly stated to be for advertising purposes for the show.
So basically, short version: Rick came under scrutiny for a lot of offensive writing within the span of two months, made some bad blog posts doubling down about it, left social media. TOA ends. Rick says he wasn't going to continue the series/write what would become TSATS. Community celebrates the end of of the franchise but also continues to discuss Rick's poor writing and the blog posts at length. Rick suddenly announces TSATS and Mark Oshiro's involvement. Everybody gets distracted from being mad. Show announcement stuff also happens and the discussions peter out.
#pjo#riordanverse#fandom history#rick riordan#rr crit#ask#boywithskull#anonymous#long post //#fun times fun times#im always amused by the bit where i come in. like oh yeah i played a major part in the middle of all of this#i didnt mean to but i was the beginning of the end#maybe thats why this book is my personal hell. its in direct retribution#its really weird though because Rick did not usually reply to people on twitter but he responded to my open letter WITHIN HALF AN HOUR#within half an hour of me posting it he replied and then rapid-fire replied to like two or three other random tweet questions#at which point he confirmed he wrote Reyna with her being alloromantic ace-coded in mind (''but you dont have to agree'')#(i should note also - rick's reply plus the ensuing tweets HEAVILY implies he did NOT actually read my open letter. lmao.)#dipped off twitter for a couple of weeks. came back to post his blog posts responding to criticism about Piper and Sam#and then left social media completely. people kept talking. oh look new book pspspsp. look show pspspsp.#but so. yknow. i did that. it was ME!!!!!! and i will never let him forget. i know what he did.#i will never let him live down shitty PR move to try and sweep those bad blog posts under the rug
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Someone made a really well written post on chilchuck and misogyny, but its not able to be rbed so im just sharing my analysis of it here. Bc i love this topic. I love it so much.
#I sort of touched on this in one of my comics#The one where he gets weird about Bea saying she should start working instead of him#He means well but because he still does have this internal idea of woman#He ends up hurting her and his marriage#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#Dont even get me started on Marcille’s (internalized and not so internalized) racism and internalized misogyny#Or Laios and Falins whole prejudice against Other tallmen#Or Shuro’s own reductive view of women#Or Namari’s occasional bigotry towards half-foots#Or how Kabru talks down to fellow Tallmen and thinks of Kobolds as less human than other races#Or everything about Mickbell#Etc#All the characters are very human in ways that can be sort of uncomfortable#I think the most realistic part of me is that none of them mean any harm
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DAY 75: onehat
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#siffrin isat#isat act 6 spoilers#twohat spoilers#isat spoilers#yea im tagging the onehat post twohat spoilers. watch me#..do we know what time of day it is when siffrin goes to the favor tree?#i always imagined the evening for some reason.#um so anyways. hey do you guys ever think about onehat. do you think about it#do you ever think about how siffrin never learning about loop and never getting closure with them#is just as valid of an ending as twohats. you dont have to get twohats. loop getting some catharsis isnt necessary to siffrin's narrative.#they asked to be here. they were here to help siffrin. and they did. and it ended#that's it.#i've always wondered if loop saw siffrin perform the ritual for them#i wonder if it would comfort them or not. if you ask them if they're a ghost they say yes (and no) after all#the tree is their grave.#something something from main character to stage director to sponsor to corpse#and with how arcane the prereqs for twohats are. yes you can get them naturally on a first playthrough but it's definitely not the majority#experience especially playing blind.#to give loop an ending you have to reach back in with both hands and grasp at that connection#i dont rlly know how to articulate it but it makes me feel a kind of way tbh. you only learn the prereqs (w/o guidance) by talking to loop#very frequently and paying attention to the hints they drop to you about the coin. labor of love situation#self love. siffrin reaching back for loop. We Are Getting Out Together Bitch#Is this anything i dont know that it is#idk onehat fascinates me a lot and im not even gonna touch on the onehats playthroughs where u actually do get the prereqs#i think there is a slight tendency among some fans tocharacterize loop as. more vindictive than they are? i guess?#it's easy to stare down loop's big twohats breakdown and see them bare their fangs and look into their anger#but loop's willingness to fade into nothing and leave siffrin alone shouldnt be forgotten i dont think
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