#bdubs' betrayal fic

[nerdyenby]

I need a comprehensive list of Life Series curses

This is for a fic I’m writing and I need more than I am able to find so I’m making a couple up. I’m fact checking them but please let me know if any aren’t accurate. The ones I’m creating myself will be italicized.

Worth noting is that curses can have exceptions and be broken. They just have to be true most of the time.

All traps fail: an exaggeration, but most every prepared trap doesn’t work as or when intended

All that can burn, will: self explanatory

Bdubs’s Tragedy Curse: he always dedicated his life to preserving another’s and he always fails

Bigb’s Pacifism: he has only killed when compelled to do so by an external force, be it the boogeyman or Pearl

The Bloodless Hands: Bdubs has never gotten a direct pvp kill (“slain by…”) since third life, in which he used a bow and arrow

The Canary Curse: Jimmy always dies first, with chaos and death running rampant shortly after

Cleo’s Betrayal Curse: they are always killed by the person closest to them

The Failed Protector: Joel always fails to keep his allies safe

Grian’s Widow Curse: he always causes the death of his closest allies

Impulse’s Loyalty Curse: he is always killed as a result of trying to maintain loyalty to his chosen partner

Joel’s Endgame Madness: Joel always goes on a rampage on his final life, desperately wrestling for any chance at life, spelling his own doom in doing so

The Rule of Three: Skizz has always been tied to the number three in each season (being third dead in third life, having only received three lives in last life, missing the series’s third iteration, and dying three times in limited life’s first three hours)

Scarian’s Dance of Death: Scar and Grian are always drawn to each other, Scar always losing his first and/or final life to Grian’s hands

Scott’s Blessing: every victor won in a season in which they were allied with him

Tango’s Isolation Curse: he always dies unexpectedly, away from his allies

I consulted this list by @ihavenohotcocoa and Skizz’s curse is inspired by this post by @eluminium

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

While I do love and appreciate BigB fans and understand their frustration that he’s not in fanart or fanfics a lot, I need some to understand that BigB is the type of person to watch from afar and speak when he wants to. He’s a bit shyer than the normal player and with a lot of the players regularly playing together (at least on camera) he’s not as close to others.

Which is why I appreciate how his teammates since double life have always tried to include him in conversations or plans. Third life he was more of a loner until near the end of the season and last life well… we saw how one betrayal does to a man…

But double life with Ren being his soulmate they were bromates, Ren would offer his hand to BigB as much as possible. Pearl in limited life hung around BigB 24/7 and helped him whenever possible because she didn’t want a win, why not help BigB her close friend and teammate? Secret life Skizz was actively including BigB whenever possible, he was part of the heart foundation and Skizz is quite possibly one of the most loyal players. Not too sure with wild life as I stopped watching that season but from what I saw he bounced around between two teams and himself but every time he was with a teammate they included him in the conversation.

However at the end of the day BigB is a quiet dude. He’s not loud like Bdubs or as quick witted as Martyn. He’s mysterious, keeps back and watches. The small vocal minority that says the he needs to team with Grian so people will draw/write him need to understand that you can just create art of BigB without needing big old mr popular. Popularity doesn’t mean their teammates will be treated the same (Eg art of Etho and Cleo on their own in secret life compared to Grian on his own) hell if we say that it has to be a popular player then why wasn’t there loads of art of BigB in limited life? Teaming with a winner who’s one of the most popular players? Nope, not a lot of art.

I will say BigB fanart has increased over the seasons and that’s wonderful! Now we need to put that energy into fics and we don’t need Grian for that.

.

[forestfiresandfics]

Loyalty

Loyalty is of course a central motif in 3rd life, and if there is a theme to be plucked from the series, my guess is that it would relate to the concept of loyalty in one way or another. So it feels a natural thing to analyse. We see loyalty used as a motif throughout the series in two main ways, the loyalty shown within partnerships, and loyalty within alliances. Loyalty is tested, sometimes broken, but the faction war succeeds in separating the server into two distinct, loyal groups.

While before I’ve been simply referring to the various groups in 3rd life as “partnerships,” due to the fact that they are almost entirely pairs (desert duo, renchanting, flower husbands, and for most of the series, the crastle), as things get somewhat more complicated, I’m going to start referring to these groups (to take a term from my own fic) as factions. These factions are defined not by their members (as we see some of them are transient and malleable), but rather for the sake of clarity, by their bases. This allows us to consider independents like BigB alongside our more often discussed pairs, and it allows us to situate some of our more nomadic members like Impulse. “Alliances” for my purpose will be agreements made between factions, and “partnerships” are agreements within factions. 

One of the reasons Loyalty is discussed so often in 3rd life is the general adherence to it, and the notable exceptions. Ren and Martyn’s partnership is very strong, and often held as the pinnacle of loyalty, though more recent analysis suggests that the core may not have been as solid as it initially seemed. Loyalty also explicitly comes into debate in a number of different alliances, as people’s loyalties are unclear—usually Impulse and Tango as they explicitly play the field (actually I don’t remember if Impulse’s is explicit, but as I’ve mentioned in other posts, we can see how eager he is to get on everyone’s good side in the way that he runs off to go get scammed by Scar on purpose). Regardless, as the battle between the two alliances comes to a head, Impulse is forced to prove his loyalty to one side or another, and once he has, it is solid and unwavering. Exceptions of course mean betrayals, with Bdubs and Scar being the most notable betrayers. Our seemingly disloyal mole ends up being staunchly loyal, while our seemingly loyal faction leaders end up switching easily. 

As I’ve alluded to, loyalty between partners and loyalty between allies are both concepts that come up consistently throughout the series, but they seem to work differently. The demands of loyalty between partners or allies are different. Partnerships are established through contract, made explicit through the three red-green pairs. “Marriage” and “indenture” (they use the language of debt, though they don’t say the word indenture itself) are treated with the same seriousness as “fealty” to one’s lord. These are all different forms of contract, and while they all have different implications and requirements, loyalty is at the forefront of them all. These contracts between partners don’t break or even bend the entire time the war is going on, the one exception being when Dogwarts tried to turn Cleo against Bdubs and it worked…for like twenty seconds. 

Loyalty between alliances is a little less defined. Or rather, the expectations are only defined by one side. As we all know, 3rd life starts out establishing partnerships, then they start to reach out to form alliances, and in the end the series devolves into a war between two alliances that encompass the entire server. The red army, and …the unnamed alliance. Based on just the names alone, which do you think is the side that states their expectations explicitly? 

Dogwarts has specific requirements of those who join their alliance, largely centred on loyalty in the form of fealty. They are a kingdom, and the allied factions are lords. Those lords are expected to bend the knee, do whatever the king says, and fight for the kingdom’s sake. In exchange, the kingdom is expected to divvy out resources, protect their allied factions, and provide rewards. Basically, mediaeval knight rules. These terms are fine for those who join the alliance, but completely unthinkable for those who don’t. The flower husbands and the crastle in particular take offence to the one sided nature of it, and the inability to act independently. 

Meanwhile the desert alliance just asks for “friendship,” something Scar has been commodifying the entire season. If any terms are said, its that ‘I will help you if you’re in trouble and you’ll help me if I am.’ The lack of structure innate in the alliance draws in the groups that explicitly distrusted Dogwarts, but it also allowed them to pick up stragglers who are less invested, like Joel who they ended up poaching. 

Dogwarts required loyalty from the outset and demanded it in explicit terms. The desert alliance fostered it naturally, with the loyalty as an implicit agreement born from self preservation. The alliance was free, and to keep that freedom, you had to support the other members. In a way, the alliance offered their loyalty to one another by choice, rather than by requirement. Despite the differences in methodology, the explicit demands of loyalty vs the implicit offers, both sides prove extremely loyal. Aside from the revelation of a mole (who I claim is actually loyal throughout, though others may argue with me), every single alliance holds strong throughout the entire war. There is not a single instance of dissidence or desertion. In other words, both methods are equally effective at garnering loyalty between alliances. Our few exceptions to the general rule of loyalty happen within factions, against day-one partnerships, and the faction war is largely free of infighting. It’s as if everyone put aside the death game for a while to play war, and then remembered the rules afterwards. 

Masterlist

[kiwinatorwaffles]

3rd life - rules of the universe (extended rewrite)

desertduo? on MY ao3????? if you remember my 3L anniversary writing, this is a rewrite with an extended section!

words: 1,030 characters: grian, scar, others mentioned summary:

you think about the betrayal of your ally. you think about how scar — that traitorous man, threw away your friendship over a stupid slip of paper, and how scar ordered bdubs to kill you baselessly. you touch your chest where the arrow struck, bitterly brushing your hand over the mark that has formed. scars will form for two reasons: if it's interesting enough, or if it’s of emotional importance. betrayal is not interesting. you feel nothing emotional for that traitor. so why is the mark still there?

or, a study on scar's betrayal and grian's vengeance.

full fic also under cut!

when a player dies and respawns, they reset back to their state of code at full health. any injuries or modifications they might have had will reset as well, leaving them in a generally healthy condition.

however, there are two rules in the universe when it comes to scarring.

the first rule is well-known by everyone. if the universe thinks the reason for the injury is interesting enough, the player will keep the physical reminder of it.

tango had a scar from an explosion where he was launched up to height limit and said it was the funniest experience of his life so far. ren has a cut on his mouth from that time he tried to eat amethyst (in his defense, he had “tempting cravings”). there are countless other silly times where a player has gotten an injury and it left a mark just due to how ridiculous the said event was, and that’s usually the reason why players have scars.

the second rule states that if the reason of injury is something of importance to the player, then the mark will form.

you think about the betrayal of your ally. you think about how scar — that traitorous man, threw away your friendship over a stupid slip of paper, and how scar ordered bdubs to kill you baselessly. you touch your chest where the arrow struck, bitterly brushing your hand over the mark that has formed.

scars will form for two reasons: if it's interesting enough, or if it’s of emotional importance.

betrayal is not interesting. you feel nothing emotional for that traitor. so why is the mark still there?

the time you killed him by complete accident. the prank, the badly-timed creeper, the sudden boom, and the shouts. you felt awful. he knew that. you formed a pact, owing your life to him until you die for the first time. and you took off to the desert, riding on the back of his beloved llama.

the time he and you cleared out an entire forest to gain a monopoly on the wood. it didn’t work, and you were frustrated at all that time you both wasted in doing so, but he laughed it off. we can always try again, he said, and you ended up laughing too. you’ll get ‘em next time. you knew you could. he knew you could. 

the time he fell off a cliff and crawled back to you with a sad bouquet of wilted flowers. can we still be friends? he asked, tears welling up in his puppy-dog eyes. you had spent the past few days trying to convince other players that the “friendship points” were a scam and he wasn’t to be trusted. he knew that. did you know that? he could hear you, but he pretended not to. he came back anyway. you took his flowers, smiled, and said yes.

the time you set up the trap that killed three players. you claimed he was the one who forced you to, but you were the one who executed the plan while he was off stealing cookies. you enjoyed every second of it — the setup, the wait, the sudden boom, and then nothing. he said you were brilliant. you knew you were brilliant. the most dangerous green life paired up with the first red life — together, you were unstoppable. 

the time you holed into a bunker together. you lost your first life that day. you didn’t owe a debt to him anymore, but you stayed. you said it was a tactical advantage. you knew that wasn’t true. he knew that wasn’t true. but neither of you said anything.

he knew that. all of it. did you know that? 

and still, he turned on you, after all that you’ve been through.

you ambushed him, pushing him into the pool, eyes red with vengeance and tears. he didn’t fight back. you can kill me, he said. for everything you’ve done to keep me alive. he offered you the enchanter. you had completely forgotten about it in your rage. it didn’t matter anymore. you froze, blood and water dripping from your blade, unable to take his life. you couldn’t do it. he didn’t expect that. you didn’t expect that.

the ghosts screaming in your ears wanted blood. he didn’t let them break your friendship. after everything, after the betrayal, you’re still friends. you both knew that. so you returned to the desert, to pizza’s grave — where it all began, and where it’ll all end.

now you stand before him, surrounded by cacti and fire. you remove your armor. you toss aside your sword. your arms tremble, but you don’t care. he’s stalling. you’re stalling. the ghosts scream for you to fight, on three, two, one — green, yellow, red. even as your fists land blow after blow, pushing him back into the spikes, he’s laughing. you’re laughing. i’m so sorry, you both say, your laughter mixing with tears, your blood staining each other’s hands. 

you land the final blow. he’s gone. you don’t feel good. 

you brush your hand over your chest, where the arrow struck. he killed you, and you returned to collect his debt. you’ve won. you both won. but you stand alone, in an empty world, surrounded by his final possessions and your blood. there’s nothing left to harm you.

but there’s one more life to go.

the universe gifted you with a memory. a memory of every laugh, cry, scream, punch, and every single drop of blood that stained your hands and clothes, the red liquid seeping into your red sweater. you cursed the universe for its sick sense of humor. but as you plunge into the sandy depths below, both wings limp against your back, you can’t help but to spend your last moments thinking how maybe, the universe was right all along.

the rules of the universe state that scars will form for two reasons: if it's interesting enough, or if it’s of emotional importance.

he was important to you. his partnership, jokes, pranks, and even his betrayal. you should’ve known that. you wish you had known that.

and right before you hit the ground, you hope he knew that too.

[nyxcentury]

With four life games and a new one coming out tomorrow, im sure im not the only one thinking of what the bew game could bring.

But ive had this idea in my head for awhile now and was wondering if anyone would be interested in seeing it in fic form?

Tether Life: Everyone is physically bound together. The tethered pair can be up to 50 blocks(random number) away from each other, probably x axis and/or y axis. Everyone starts with 4 lives. If a tether dies, they get sent back to their spawn point but only the tether loses a life.

Also once one person of the tethered pair reaches red life, the tether breaks and they can either stay with their team or leave.

Example: Scar and Jimmy are tethered together. If Scar died to a creeper explosion, for example, only Scar would lose a life. But both of them get sent back to their spawn point. If it was Scar's third life and he is now red, Scar can either keep working together with Jimmy or he can leave.

Still working out ideas on who is paired with who but so far my main pairs would be Scar and Jimmy, Lizzie and Etho, Joel and Cleo, Ren and Pearl, and Scott and Skizz.

I was thinking of Bdubs and Tango because of Team BEST but i was also thinking about Martyn and Bdubs(ive decided to call them Betrayal Duo).

Im open to ideas. I might just write small scenes from this instead of a chapter by chapter fic because I'm trying to work on writing one shots.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle's Traffictober - Batch 2

More of my Traffictober one-shots are up on my AO3!

Full series - Find full list and tags here

Batch 1 Post - Traffictobers 1 to 7

Batch 2 Post - Traffictobers 8 to 14

Batch 3 Post - Traffictobers 15 to 21

Batch 4 Post - Traffictobers 22 to 31

Below are T-rated Traffic SMP fanfics (one-shots) of various lengths. Give them a whirl if you think you may enjoy:

8 - “Dog Biscuits” (Link) - The strained relationship between a dog man and a cookie moth, both of whom have been making alliances with other people.

Double Life - Sharing souls with BigB leaves Ren super itchy, so they cuddle up together while BigB rubs him with itch-relieving salve. They try to talk things through, but it looks like they might be needing Scott's Relationship Ranch after all.

9 - “Grian's Room” (Link) - If Scar weren't overtaken by the red life mindset, he'd probably be more concerned that he can't feel the softness of Grian's blankets.

3rd Life - Grian tries to shoo the very red (totally scary) Scar out of his room. Scar keeps touching Grian's blanket, in that early phase of 'trial and error'ing through the different sensations of being on red life. It's true what they say... Reds don't feel a thing unless it's the rush of a kill.

10 - “Canadian Idiot” (Link) - That one 'fic where a grumpy Joel gets a million platonic hickeys because Etho keeps aggroing on him

Double Life - Joel losing hearts keeps setting off Etho's fox hybrid aggro. They try to work it out, it goes very wrong, and Etho is very in his head and desperate to reel it in. Ft. bonus Bdubs and Impulse with their love heart crowns.

Also probably my favorite of the entire Traffictober series; I don't think we're gonna top this one <3

11 - “Get Your Fingers Burned” (Link) - Joel and Scar were once giggly friends. By noon, the boogeyman curse has them screaming and dueling above a lava pool.

Last Life - A dramatized retelling of the moment where Scar tried to get a boogeyman kill on his base partner Joel in Episode 2, not realizing Joel was the other boogeyman. Ft. bonus Firefly Hybrid Joel jealous of Scar's pecs, which a man with an exoskeleton will never get to have.

12 - “Like Newlyweds Do” (Link) - Bdubs, now soulbound to a man who's been walking around with 1/10th of his soul: "Dude you live like this??"

Double Life - Impulse comes clean about his chronic bed-sharing habits and he and Bdubs talk about what it means for Impulse to be simultaneously sharing souls with Bdubs and Skizz. Or... they try. Impulse keeps getting hung up on the whole unresolved betrayal arc from 3rd Life.

13 - “Scary Stories For Young Fox Hybrids” (Link) - [NW AU] - Skizz takes young Scar and Bdubs out on a Solo Skizz adventure to give their mom (Cleo) some space. They stumble across a wounded stranger in a game show studio.

Neighborhood Watch AU blends the roleplay and mechanics for the first 5 Life seasons into a single timeline. A battered Martyn, burned from his years in the Nether, is shocked to encounter "his" (soulmate's) kids in person for the first time.

14 - “Walking on Cluckshroom Shells” (Link) - Cleo lets themself into BigB's portal room with the spare key, looking for something they left when they and BigB broke up. Grian is there. He throws a little fit.

Double Life - Slice of life study on Grian and BigB's dating life in this world where time moves differently in the Between and Overworld dimensions and Grian bemoans the fact that it's time to go offline and he has to spend a month alone.

Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

[mochiwrites]

I just read tangled webs/intertwined lies, and I absolutely loved it

The handshake/sticking together paralleling the glimpse of the limited life moment where Etho offers Grian the sword, love it

I can just imagine a confrontation scene, where Grian and Etho take the discovery of the resistance base in stride, wearing all purple and covered in spores and mycelium, vs Scar and Bdubs in equal shock of their partners betrayals(?)

the brain is very much rotting

@oh-snapperss :D !!!!!

ueueueue tysm!!!! the handshake parallel was all laurie :3

this was definitely one of my favorite fics to write??? I’m so enamored with the idea of grian and etho being the leaders of the groups their partners are actively trying to get rid of and hiding it from them and MMMMMMMM. I can definitely spin some things in the brain >:D

[oh-snapperss]

Can you see me (extra scenes)?👀

-🍂

yea! i'm actually gonna post what i have for a scene between bdubs and tango--this would have been somewhere before they got etho, in the actual fic (and if you're reading this and have no idea what i'm talking about, you can find the fic here)

it's under the readmore:)

He finds Bdubs sitting among the boxes of their storage, half hidden. It’s a good spot–if Tango hadn’t hidden there himself before, he’d never have found Bdubs there. “Hey, buddy.” 

“What’d’ya want?”

“Woah, man, no need to be hostile,” Tango holds his hands up, trying to placate Bdubs, who glares at him in such a way he just knows he’s not welcome. 

“‘m not bein’  hostile,'' Bdubs grumbles under his breath, and Tango has to hold back a snort–not because he’s amused, but because it’s horribly obvious just how unwanted he is at the moment.

“That’s–okay, listen I just–Dub-Bdubs. C’mere.” he holds a hand out to Bdubs, just hoping that maybe… maybe he can make things right.

All he gets is a raised eyebrow and more pronounced glare. “Why?” 

“Because–I want to say ‘m sorry!” Tango holds his hand out a little further, eyes squeezing shut. He’s got a headache. “We’ve still got a couple hours before we reach him… nothin’ else to do.” 

“Sorry? Sorry?” A bitter sound forces out past Bdubs’ lips. “Yeah, sure.” His hand is ignored. Again. 

“Bdubs.” Tango scrubs his face with his other hand. He’s not retracting the other. “Please. Hear me out.” 

“Hear you out? Hear you out?” Bdubs’ voice travels upwards, and Tango squints his eyes open to see him standing, ignoring his hand. “If I’d heard you out before, Etho would be-he’d-” he cuts off, shaking with anger. 

“I know… I know. That’s why I’m–” Tango shakes his head, finally retracting his hand. It’s obvious Bdubs won’t take the silent I’m sorry. “I thought… I didn’t know.  If I’d known… I’d never’ve-” 

“Should that make a difference? Who he is?” Bdubs won’t look at him, just staring past Tango to the window he knows shows naught but the blur of space passing by them. 

“It does to me.” 

Bdubs’ eyes finally snap to him, and Tango can see the emotions fighting in him–anger, betrayal, pain… hope. 

“Makes a difference to me, cause you’re my friend…” Tango mumbles, just wishing they had more time. “We can’t–I didn’t think we could save him… and I didn’t think there was a point trying. But… I was wrong. I’m sorry.” 

Bdubs stares at the window past his shoulder again, biting his lip. “He’s gonna be fine.” 

“He will.” Tango confirms, and he feels like he’s lying. “Will you–you want somethin’ to drink?”

There’s silence, and Tango is sure Bdubs will refuse–

“Sure.”

[sammy-writes-sometimes]

Writing Masterpost: Impdubs Fics in Canon Order

Ao3: donotdisturbmyslumber

Note: This isn't in order of when they were posted or written, but rather in order of when the fic takes place. Why? Reason, don't question us and our ubber autism

Misc AUs

BZITS AU Cuddles. That's it, that's literally it [HC, BZITS AU]

Canon/Close to Canon

Healing Your Wounds: Impulse apologizes to Bdubs about Last Life and the wither. Bdubs reassures Impulse that he is fine. [DL]

Small Shows of Love: Impulse asks Bdubs for help with his t shots. [DL]

No Fucking Nipples: Impulse takes off his shirt in front of Bdubs for the first time and is mildly anxious about having no nipples. [DL]

Clothes Swap: Bdubs steals Impulse’s shirt. Not much to really say other than look at this unrelated art. [DL]

Early Bird and His Late Riser: Bdubs wakes up before Impulse to make breakfast. It goes just as well as expected. [DL]

Bdubs Shouldn't be Trusted: Bdubs draws very questionable art of Impulse. Early to mid game, Impulse is still bashful. [DL]

He's Just a Lil Guy: Bdubs finds out that Impulse chuffs. That’s it, that’s the fic. [DL]

Betrayal: Bdubs kills Impulse by accident in Double Life :D [DL]

Love Like Clockwork:  Impulse re-declares his love for Bdubs by giving him a new clock. Not technically a marriage proposal but *shrugs* [HC9]

Skrunkly:  Bdubs is late for his and Impulse’s ‘secret date’ so Impulse falls asleep in Bdubs’ bed. [HC9]

You Sick Fuck:  Ren gets overthrown, Impulse is sick off his ass, and Bdubs is both very annoyed and pretty strong. [HC9]

Bdubs Worries a Lot:  Impulse leaves for the crossover without telling Bdubs which makes him upset. [ESMP x HC]

Bdubs Visits Empires (solely to slap Impulse): Bdubs joins the crossover just to scold his partners. [ESMP x HC]

Reasonably–Unreasonable Anxiety:  Pre-LimL moment, Impulse being slightly anxious and unable to sleep. Bdubs says he feels bad for killing him and Tango constantly, Impulse promises to kill Bdubs this time. [HC9]

The SL Boogeyman Moment...: Mini rewrite of a scene SL session 7. [SL]

So This Is It?:  Bdubs packs his personal belongings before leaving Hermitcraft, both of them reflect on the last year and a half of their relationship. [HC9]

[bellshazes]

do it again director's commentary part 3

one evening as the golden hour light begins to creep across his desk it catches the courage crystal sitting there and refracts shattered patterns that waver back and forth along the walls. When Etho stumbles in, gripping a coffee mug with both hands and squinting at the last dregs of daylight, it catches him too and he’s lit up in flames. Bdubs’ heart seizes up as Etho tilts his head down to try and keep the light from his eyes, the deepened burning shadow transforming his face into something menacing and sharp.

this one was for the girlies who appreciate etho always dying in fire <3 and also as close to textually suggesting the courage crystal is a significant source of bdubs' paranoia, bc it does its opposite.

Etho sits up gingerly and tries to wiggle his feet out from underneath Bdubs. “Oh boy, you’re loud. What time is it?” He blearily squints at the clock on Bdubs’ nightstand; he’s not wearing his glasses, or they fell off in the falling over. “What are you doing in my room?”

i really like this part bc the image amuses me so much but also: i was thinking specifically of doumeki shizuka for this. and bdubs plays watanuki. it's just the holic influence, you know how it is with 104.

That acute awareness of absence carries him to a red seance, and when he hears Joel and Grian calling his name he doesn’t even mind the racket they’re causing and scribbles clues into the redstone dust they’ve scattered on the ground. Betrayal doesn’t come to mind at all as he tells them where the others had gone to hide.

nobody talks about the fact that bdubs answering the seance DIRECTLY led to them getting a kill on i think perhaps even cleo??? definitely someone bdubs had cared about. like he really does that. does anybody remember this it makes me sooooo crazy. the post-death influence bdubs had on the actual events of the world is important to the themes of dia, but it's also that i wanted to emphasize that etho never tried to talk to or acknowledge bdubs-as-ghost, even though it was something he could have done. I dont feel strongly about whether, in DIA-verse, he would have known he could do. but it's made relevant in the final chapter when etho says he said something when he was a ghost in case bdubs was still listening.

He’s never been good when left alone, with no one to orbit around and make sense of his place in the world. That’s the problem with putting your heart into one person’s hands: when they’re gone, you’re left heartless. A clock, a life, a question - whatever the promise, he’ll always take it if it means an end to loneliness.

i'm really maybe most proud of this part in the whole fic. i like the prose and i think it explains exactly what i want it to about bdubs being a loyal guy with loose morals and a desperate need for connection. it's not even that directly prevalent in LL but i think his bizarre version of commitment to specific persons is what drives the other recklessness.

It’s the only thing that makes sense; in the dreams that increasingly invade his waking hours as distant overlays, a disorienting kind of deja vu, Etho is overjoyed to torment him with the possibility of his imminent demise at Etho’s hands and sends him on a suicide mission that ends with Bdubs shouting Etho’s name as he dies. 

in the beginning couple chapters i deliberately left bdubs' memory of being killed ambigous so that it was reasonable he might think he was yelling at etho, who directly killed him. now, he remembers more, and his fear develops into less the physical harm and more the emotional betrayal of being thrown away, like he expresses to cleo earlier. but the loop of fearful suspicion kind of shifts without his conscious awareness; he only suspected initially because of the physical threat, and now he's less sure of that, but has invented new reasons to be afraid.

“Little guy!” Bdubs shouts, and then scowls when Jellie disdainfully hops away from them. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do, get me distracted so I don’t get my refund. You can’t fool old Bdubs that easy, I tell you what. No - seriously, I mean it. Scar, look at me.”

writing for bdubs' voice is never easier than when he's talking to scar. all his usefully recognizable patterns come up so strongly, so easily. maybe partially because it's easiest for me to hear him cutting himself off to say the same thing in a different way for emphasis, or change the direction of the sentence entirely halfway in when scar is being sneaky and throwing curveballs at him.

“Well,” says Scar, gleeful in a way he instantly pretends to regret, clapping one hand over his heart. “If you can tell me about your dreams I’ll tell you about mine. Grian always gives me such a hard time for caring about dreaming that I used to be a wizard who made the world better with my magic because he doesn’t believe in it in the real world, but you and I know better. “

scar mainly dreams of s7 because of the continuity of his character selling crystals. it's also because he gave and received the most lives, which is the other criteria i used to measure how much a given character might remember with a crystal or after an inciting incident (like falling off the roof, bdubs' questioning of cleo).

“At this point I think Etho’s problem with you is more about not being able to one-up you when you’re going on about whatever thing he’s logically opposed to, way more than whatever it was you did to piss him off way back when.” 

etho doesn't like magic and thinks scar's a terrible influence on bdubs - which is absolutely 1000% true. he does like the mutual manipulation, but only in the light back-and-forth, and it's not really an old grudge or anything.

He had less of a choice than he realized in that moment, but he knows he would have signed anyway, not yet understanding what else Etho would ask him to give up for Etho’s own self-preservation. 

you ever think about how etho asked bdubs to give up something of himself without question twice and twice bdubs barely hesitated before doing it and once it was already over was when he fully grasped the consequences? me neither.

Bdubs thinks about how close he’d come to working for Scar, before he had built up his client list and had regular business after college. How appalled Etho had been, enough to point out that even on their meager incomes they could easily afford a two bedroom apartment on the same block as Skizz and Tango if they moved in together. So he’d taken graveyard shifts where he could find them and told Scar no instead, which was harder than he expected, even before Scar started wheedling. It had felt strangely like giving up something familiar, even though he’d known Etho for longer.

before 90s au there was a DIA offshoot that was set on one side or the other of s7 instead of s8 and paralleled the mayoral arc because bdubs never moves in with etho because he accepts the offer to work for scar instead of needing to split rent and etho is vaguely horrified and not as close but as much of nuisance a la the resistance double-siding stuff. a lot of that got rolled into 90s au though, which i think improves on it by having etho run a shade-e-ees esque side business out of what's basically a DIY container home situation everyone calls the monstrosity. (impulse crashes there frequently too, on account of it also being foreshadowing for the wool castle of 3L).

"That man has a hold on me I guess," bdubs says in LL about scar when questioned why he keeps falling for the BS. you know how it is with mayors

It’s the same shade of red as the dust he’d scrawled his ghostly message in, and he decides he’s had enough of loneliness for several lifetimes.

rage crystal! which, spoilers, chills tango out in another inversion. and like in LL, tango later gives it to etho.

Skizz pauses. “I don’t know what’s up with you and Tango, but I’m glad you’re doing something about it. I miss hanging out with my buddies, we’ve gotta get the band back together. Etho’s been harder to get a hold of too lately and everything is just all weird. I don’t like it.”

it's a shame i needed to keep my character focus really small if i ever wanted to finish the fic, and that i don't feel super confident writing skizz or tango. one day i WILL finish that third-done skizz+scar scene though..... i hope i did him justice

[zedif-y]

hi! Saw your post about which one of your writing is my fave and I gotta say, I love your impdubs fic, "be as you've always been."

(I'm not very good with words, but I'll try to say my thoughts about it.)

It's just, the way you write impulse and bdubs's relationship... The fact that their relationship is flawed, but they try to work it out for each other and not just for the sake of the game is MWAH. I love how you write both bdubs's and impulse's personal problems and their guilt and it just adds so much to their relationship and their dynamic in general.

And impulse AUGH where do I even begin? Him wanting to love bdubs in peace, but his bitterness towards the betrayal in third life is still blocking that and it also affects how he communicates with him? And bdubs? Knowing what he did and trying to forget it and just wanting to work it out despite the guilt he has? That shit hurts, but it's SO well written that I can't help but admire it. The fact that impulse doesn't even immediately forgive bdubs, but he still tries, both him and bdubs try to love each other despite all of it. It's a nice touch and it's very human and realistic, y'know?

I also LOVE how you write ren and bigb and the ranchers and just everyone in general!

Anyways, I'm rambling. I love all of your writing and they've really inspired me to keep creating my own stuff as well. Thank you for showing your art to the world. It is very appreciated <33

!!!

oh my god oh my GOD, ive been thinking of how i could reply to this ask, just sitting and staring at it for several minutes and rereading it over and over . thank you?? so much?? this was very sweet of you to send and i'm . definitely keeping it in my save tag . i'm so happy that my writing inspired you to create your own stuff!! that's amazing!!

just. aaaaa!!! thank you so much for being so sweet!! i hope you have an amazing week ahead :]

[b-dubs-valdubs]

new chapter of Win the War is up! again, inspired by @briseise 's amazing artwork, go and check her out :)

this chapter is a lot more angsty than the last one, so just be warned

fic below the cut, or you can read it on ao3 ! reblogs appreciated <3

CW: MILD TORTURE, THREATS

---------

Bdubs glared at them all, hurt and betrayal coursing through his veins as he watched his "friends" agree to Cleo's plan. He was supposed to have a lovely evening with Ren, but now he was stuck laying against this grimy floor, cheek pressed into the cold stone, waiting for his fate to be sealed by the Resistance.

He wasn't afraid. He knew that Ren would find him eventually. He knew that Ren would send out search parties. He knew that it would come at a cost, though.

What price would Ren be willing to pay to have him back? Surely a lot, he was his King's most prized treasure, the best Royal Architect there ever was! Surely there would never be a price too great for him?

He knew that if Ren were in his situation, he would give everything he'd ever owned to have him back.

He just hoped that his King would do the same for him.

"You," Cleo snapped, jabbing a finger towards him, "Are going to cooperate. Or else."

Bdubs could see the Soup Group exchange uneasy glances, but he swallowed down his own fear. "Or else, what?"

"Or else you won't see your precious little King ever again."

Bdubs froze. He still didn't quite know what that entailed, but he certainly didn't want to find out.

He took a moment to study the faces of the people before him. His friends, who had taken him and locked him up and were about to do Void knows what to him. By cooperating, he gives them what they want, to have information, to know the Court's secrets, and to eventually steal the throne from his rightful King. He wasn't like them - he wouldn't betray those who he was supposed to be loyal to.

But taking one look at Cleo - eyes steely, unwavering, a cold green like his King's Royal Emeralds - every once of resistance in him completely dissolved.

He would never admit it, but he was scared. Scared of the unknown.

"I- I'll comply."

Cleo nodded, looking down on him through the bars. Bdubs couldn't help but shrink back a little.

"You will answer every question that the Resistance has for you," Cleo stated, clearly and simply, "You will tell the whole truth to ever question that you are asked. You will not tell anyone about what happens here. Is that clear?"

Bdubs nodded hastily.

After he had agreed, Cleo unlocked the cell and stepped into it, closing the door carefully behind them. They strode towards him, their heeled shoes clicking loudly, every footstep sounding like a gunshot to Bdubs. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block everything out.

When Cleo reached him, Bdubs felt himself getting dragged up into a low kneel. He opened his eyes; the world was the right way up, and the Resistance was standing before him, watching him.

"Go ahead," Cleo said to the resistance, talking above Bdubs as if he wasn't even there, "Ask him whatever you want."

The Soup Group looked at each other uneasily, presumably thinking of things to interrogate Bdubs about. Bdubs stared at them searchingly, trying to find a scrap of anything - a reaction, a whispered question, a silent plan - that might quell his fear of the unknown, the fear that was making him shake like a leaf.

Finally, Pearl stepped forward.

"Hi there, Bdubs!" she smiled, trying to talk to him like he wasn't tied up in some kind of cell. He frowned.

Pearl took no notice and continued. "So, my fellow Resistance members and I think that it would be a good idea for you to tell us everything that the King has told you about the reign. Any secret plans, any weaknesses, whatever. And if we see fit, we'll ask from there."

Bdubs opened his mouth, like a fish trying to gasp for air, but no sound came out. "I-"

"Hurry up, Bdubs," Cleo admonished. She was out of Bdubs's eyeline, and he could tell that she was doing something behind his back. He didn't want to wait to find out what.

"I- King- King Ren told me about... about his plans for the economy. He wants to have complete control... with- with, uh, Royal Emeralds, and owning people's shops and- and- he's just taking it a bit too far I think."

"In what way is he taking it too far? How does he want control?" Pearl interrogated, stepping closer towards the bars.

"He wants to- to be able to cut people's Royal Emerald access completely off, when he decides to. At a moment's notice, he can prevent their shop from running, take all their money, completely shut that p-person off from buying anything. He's planning on trying it with you guys first."

He paused, closing his eyes gently and letting the weight of what he'd just confessed hang over him for a little bit. He'd just revealed that his own King had planned to shut the doors on whoever he saw fit, to abuse the power that he was entrusted with, and ruin someone's life on a whim. Because he wanted to. No wonder the Resistance were rebelling against this, he would too if he had any sense!

But he would never go against his King. He could never. Never, in a million years. He was the King's most trusted advisor, his right-hand man, his boyfriend. The King trusted him with everything he had, and Bdubs sold it all away. Just because he was afraid.

Bdubs was officially the worst boyfriend ever.

"I tried to stop him..." Bdubs whispered, swallowing back the tears, "He- he said he would consider. B-but I just feel... so bad... so bad for him..."

"Why do you feel bad for him, Bdubs?" Impulse asked.

"I- I just-"

But he couldn't speak. If he hadn't betrayed his King already, this would certainly be enough.

"I'm not answering," he stated, finally, resolutely staring down the Resistance through the tears in his eyes.

"Bdubs," Gem said, as if she were talking to a scared animal, "Just tell us. Why do you feel bad for the King?"

"Tell us, Bdubs."

"Come on, Bdubs, don't make this harder than it needs to be..."

"We just need an answer."

He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't! No matter how hard he tried, he wouldn't betray his King. Not as much as this. He would never be forgiven for it.

The tears wouldn't stop flowing, no matter how hard Bdubs tried to stop them. The rope was cutting into his wings. He couldn't cope.

"N- No! I- I'm not... no!" he yelled.

"Answer them, Bdubs," Cleo warned.

"NO! I don't need to tell you- you anythi-"

The cold cut him off as it enveloped him in waves, setting his nerves on fire. The cold made him shiver, forced shaky breaths from his lungs, puffing into the air in short, spluttering bursts. Small chunks of ice fell from his head, dripping onto the wet stone around him.

Bdubs bowed his head, trying to curl up into a ball and stop everything from happening all around him. It was too much. He looked as pathetic and wet and cold and sad as he felt. The rope was still cutting into his wings, making them ache from where they were bound to his back. He just wanted it all to stop.

The tears barely made a difference anymore.

The sound of the bucket clanging to the floor made Bdubs curl in on himself tighter.

"Bdubs," Cleo began, and her tone of voice seemed slightly softer, "You should answer their question, then we'll get you a towel and a blanket. But you need to answer them first, okay? You don't want me to get another bucket, do you?"

Bdubs paused, trying desperately to muster up the strength in his exhausted brain to reason with himself. This was a horrible idea! It would give the Resistance everything they need to take the Court down! Giving them this would practically give them the victory, the diamonds, the power, everything that they could ever want.

And Ren would never forgive him.

How would Bdubs ever be able to forgive himself, letting Ren down so drastically; letting himself fail just because he was scared, and cold, and miserable? Could he really not stay strong for a little while longer, until they got bored and left him be?

In the end, really, Bdubs was just selfish.

"Ren-" he croaked, voice shaking and shivering in all the wrong places but Bdubs couldn't care, "He- He's s-sick... I see i-it, it's subtle, b-but the reign - it's really t-taking a toll on him. He's n-not the Ren I know, or love, I d-don't even know who he is, but he's certainly not Ren. He's just the King - d-driven by greed and power and too sc-scared to let anything go in case he falls harder than he's ever f-fallen before. He's weak, one threat will b-break him, and even his eyes seem greener, completely o-overtaken with lust for the Royal Emeralds. Ren's gone. I- I just want him back..."

The silence stretched out over the room, shrouding the atmosphere in a smoky tension. Through the bars, there was movement, but Bdubs couldn't bring himself to look up. He felt broken.

"That's all we need from you, Bdubs, thank you," Impulse said softly, cutting the tension with a knife, but a butter knife.

The door to the cell opened, but Bdubs remained where he was. The clicking footsteps returned, and faded slightly as Cleo walked through the cell door, locking it behind her.

"We'll give him some food, water, and a towel in a little bit," she told the Soup Group, and Bdubs recognised the hint of remorse in her tone. "First, we'll go outside, and discuss what will happen next regarding his ransom."

Bdubs heard footsteps shuffle out of the room, before silence greeted him once again.

[eyelessfog]

5 and/or 28 for the ask game?

-Ryan💖

5. Share a strength

Oooh! I wanna go with... descriptions. My writing is a movie in my brain and I put my pride in sharing the visuals I want the person to see! I find I actually get Double good at those visuals when they're dreams so my second answer would probably be dreams. between ilyltslts [<- oh wow. that series has a long acronym huh] & the one unnamed sausage & pearl fic... yeah. i want u to see the symbolism!!

28. Share three of your favourite fic writers and why you like them so much

AWW unfaiiiirrrr i like a lot of you guys!! @slashmagpie gets a spot in here no matter what though bc . lifeline :] other than that is a bunch of people but i was in lewers earlier so... @yellowsomethings & @liloinkoink

As for why? gestures wildly.

magpie!!! its about the way every chapter hits! its about all the things that connect that you never even noticed!! its about the characterizations!! its about false n stress n bdubs :] but like. in regards to the non llau fics: i read through a couple last night and its still so.. like oh!! the characters!! oh! the problems!! oh!! you know? magpie do you know how badly i wanna write a fic based off of the ghost pearl fic about how she feels in that factory.

for ilex. aughghghg.. i dunno.. ilex keeps coming up with these awesome ideas for fics that just suck me in every single time? either that or has the prompts and then executes them really well? ESPECIALLY when it comes to arenaduo... the sausage and pearl stuff is always like... they're friends and they're friends through lives and decades and isnt that enough? doesn't that matter? won't you understand what that means to them? for them? it's about the. the emotions that you as the reader feel and that they as the characters feel.

and lew? duuude... its impressive, you know? like there's lamplight! leaflight! even!! two beautifully written aus with the prettiest visuals and amazing betrayal and trust and loyalty and love and it's about how a god will never harm the man who has done so much for him - will protect him as much as his power allows him - gives him all he can, and hopes beyond hope that this mortal will understand that he enjoys his presence so, so much. there are words they cant say because they don't have mouths or voices and yet.. and yet!!

and also there's treesekai and thats sick as hell even though it was a crackfic and wasnt meant to hit as hard as we all made it hit but i love it a lot too <33

[pixiemage]

If one of these is another TNAWY au I SWEAR TO SANTA PEARLA

Anyway have multiple

29, 39, 49, 59, 78.

I swear if I get even more songs from TNAWY AU and as I’ve said love how we semi talk through discord while in tumblr comments at the same time.

[For the Rancher Playlist Ask Game]

YOU PICKED FIVE?!?! You're INSANE! Do you WANT people to have to scroll through FIVE of my Rancher rambles????

...very well.

Track #29 - Stitch Me Up by Set It Off

Guess what? This one also inspired a TNaWY scene, a rather sweet and melancholy one that won't show up until about the halfway point :3 Hurray!

This is a song I've had rolling around in various playlists for ages, but THIS one got added to Ranchers for a few reasons. One, it reminds me of a Jimmy that's too fed up with being picked on by his friends, and of a Tango who's still not over Bdubs' betrayal. And then there are also the lines about needing stitches (Like a doll in lost and found, so mistreated, thrown around) and it makes me think of those crossover fics where Jimmy has been turned into a toy or ragdoll and he needs literal stitches to repair himself. But to pick some lyrics:

Are you the one to fix me up, patching up the work they done? Try and sew me So thread the needle, tie it off, teach me how to trust someone Really hoping that you stay That you never walk away (...and later...) Really hoping that I stay I could never walk away

Track #39 - Eyes Wide Open by Gotye

If I remember correctly, I THIIIINK that Hybbat suggested this one to me way back when, but I might be wrong! All I know is it resonated with me and it ended up on the playlist :3

This one's a bit tricker because I like it almost more for the vibe and a few stray lines than anything else, but it's still a quality song. And if I have to pick a section, this bit does remind me of the canary's curse and everyone ignoring the warning it represents:

And only a few ever worried While the signs were clear, they had no idea You just get used to livin' in fear Or give up, when you can't even picture your future

Track #49 - Danger To Myself by The Unlikely Candidates

This is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT a Tango song, perhaps especially before a point where he's come to accept that Jimmy cares about him as much as he cares about Jimmy. It's also, I imagine, around the time of the fire at the ranch in some stories, where he's worried his rage will scare Jimmy off. But it's SO good, the kind of sing I like to dance to, and the lyrics are great. This chunk in particular feels very much like a reference to B.E.S.T. and any lack of trust that followed Tango from that game to here:

'Cause I was founded In a bed of liars Walking the streets someone before me set on fire And after all this This love I borrowed I'm waiting on the day you don't want me tomorrow And I, I don't know why you love me I'm a danger to myself

Track #59 - Feeling Mean by Ben Bostick

I'll admit, I stole this one straight out of a Minecraft Manhunt.

This is ALSO a Tango song - you're on a roll lol - and it's very much meant to be a mix of Tango's rage after the burning of the ranch, and him plotting the rise of Rancher's Revenge. But this bit in particular is the line that resonates most with Tango post-fire in my opinion:

I'm feeling mean, I'm feeling mean The meanest hunk of meat that anyone's ever seen Get out of the way of the hurricane or there's a heavy price to pay Tonight I'm feeling mean, I'm feeling mean

Track #78 - Oh Yeah, You Gonna Cry? by Lovejoy

OH BOY LOVEJOY! :D Also the last song on the playlist, nice pick, nice pick lol. Most recent addition. Lovely.

So THIS one is - hah - okay listen. I love Scott as much as the next person, and I LOVE Flower Ranchers. That being said. Have y'all READ Trust Life??? This song ABSOLUTELY gives me Trust Life vibes, with some lines feeling like Tango, and some lines feeling like Scott. It's GLORIOUS and I've played out a CMV in my head just listening to this song before lol. So - god how do I even pick a line from this - uhhh...oh! Here! The chorus! Because honestly, this could be EITHER of them depending on the chapter!

Well, now, now, you need to calm down What good's this energy? (It's no good!) When you devote it to me Why not be a little more friendly? Now, now, you need to calm down Does she still think of me? Say my name in her sleep? I thought you knew her better than me

ARE YOU HAPPY???

[slashmagpie]

Can i request a Cleo centric fic? Perhaps set in the traffic universe?

“You’re shivering again,” Cleo notes.

Scott clenches his teeth and goes stiff, knuckles turning white against the railing of the bridge. The act doesn’t last long: his teeth chatter against his will, his arms beginning to tremble.

“It’s fine,” he says at last, voice strangled.

Cleo’s mouth settles into a thin line. “It’s not fine,” they say. “We should go over there, give her—”

“I said, it’s fine,” Scott insists. “I don’t want to deal with Pearl right now.”

You’re dealing with her anyway, Cleo thinks, but keeps their mouth shut. They turn their gaze away from Scott, back over the ravine, and—ow.

“What is he doing?” they mutter, scowling at the empty shell of the Weeping Heart Bastion.

“Martyn? God knows. Nothing good, I bet.”

“No,” Cleo agrees with a sigh. “No, probably not.” Another jolt of pain shoots through them. They groan. “Ugh. At this rate, we’re not gonna make it to the end, Martyn! Because you’re going to get us killed!”

“Please don’t die,” Scott says with a sideways glance. “Do you need food?”

“No, no, I’ve got some.” Cleo pulls some steak from their inventory, takes a bite. It tastes bitter against their tongue. They chew angrily, still staring out at Martyn’s eyesore of a base. “Do you ever wonder—” They cut themself off.

“Wonder what?”

They take a breath. “Do you ever wonder what they’re thinking?”

Scott’s face screws up in confusion. “Pearl and Martyn? I’ll be honest, I just thought that they weren’t thinking. They’re not the brightest in the bunch.”

“No, not—not them. The… Whoever is behind this. And don’t say Grian, because we both know that if he had a choice, he wouldn’t be with Scar right now.”

“No, Grian’s not in charge of this. I don’t know who is, but it’s definitely not him.”

“Why would they—I mean, okay. Third Life was simple. It’s a death game! Who doesn’t love a good death game? And then Last Life—the boogeyman, the betrayals, no alliances on red, take what was there before and make it more dramatic. More bloody. I’m a fan of that.” They smile. There’s no humour in it.

Scott snorts. “Sure.”

“But then—soulmates. Of all the things in the world, why… Why soulmates? It doesn’t make the game longer. Makes it shorter, if anything. That’s not—I mean, it’s not conducive to the bloodshed, really. And everyone’s being so… well, you know. I mean, look at Bdubs and Impulse! Where’s the betrayal?”

“We’re not in the endgame yet. There’s still time.”

“You think he’ll do it?” Cleo raises an eyebrow.

Scott shrugs. Then, hunching his shoulders, teeth still clattering, he says, “It’s not conducive to the bloodshed, but it’s conducive to the drama.”

Cleo scoffs. “Not good drama. Not the kind that—I mean. Petty relationship drama is less…” They sigh. “No, it’s more that—it’s less fun when you don’t get a choice. Isn’t it—I chose to trust this person, and they betrayed me, and that’s dramatic. But I was forced to trust this person, and then they betrayed me, or didn’t, and I never had a choice in it? That’s boring, don’t you think?”

“I’m here too,” Scott reminds them. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t—boring. Yeah. And it’s not like—you know, with the boogeyman. Everyone said they didn’t have a choice, but really, they did. They could have chosen not to. I did, and then I won, so. And this time, we didn’t have a choice, but we made one. That’s something, right?”

It’s not the same, Cleo thinks. “Yeah,” they agree, taking another angry bite from their steak as they feel yet another pulse of pain. “Let’s win this time, too. Show them what we think of their little game.”

Scott hums. “Hey, Cleo,” he says. “If you could choose anyone to be your soulmate, who would it be? You don’t have to say me. I mean, I’ll be offended, and it’d be the wrong answer, but you don’t have to pick me.” 

Cleo snorts. “Anyone, huh?”

“Anyone.”

They glance out at the Bleeding Heart Bastion again. They’re thinking of other lives, other times—a well-fortified castle, a circle of trees full of betrayal, secret base after secret base. 

“I’d want to be by myself,” they say at last. “If I had the choice. But I suppose, if I had to be with someone, you’re not the worst person to be stuck with.” They smirk.

Scott rolls his eyes, pressing one hand to his chest. “Aww, that was almost sweet!” he says.

Cleo pretends to gag. 

“What about you?” they ask, after the theatrics are over. “If you had the choice?”

Scott’s quiet for a long moment. “I think I’d want to be alone too. But—yeah. There are worse people than you. I would even go as far to say that there aren’t many better.”

Cleo fake gags again. He elbows them playfully, and then they both flinch as their soulmates do something stupid in unison.

“Goddamn it.”

Vote Etho! Request a ficlet!

[whereishoney]

I've been thinking about this post since I first saw it weeks ago and I've been agreeing with the bdubs sentiment but I couldn't quite wrap it around my head perfectly. until today. until I've been reading a homewreckers double life fic and in a general homewreckers mood lately.. and and. this song. is about bdubs and impulse. and who bdubs is and how he feels in relation to impulse. in my eyes of course...

verse 1:

I once loved a tailor who took eager care of me

Sewed together my loose ends with stitches neat and clean

But now my love is gone

And I am left unraveling

Unraveling

okay. okay. we could interpret this as their beginning, their good alliance which unraveled because of bdubs' growing suspicion of impulse's fidelity to the crastle. impulse was doing his best as a double agent and ultimately was betrayed because bdubs' suspicions boiled over, in addition to finding promise in an (albeit tenuous) alliance with desertduo for the final showdown. bdubs feels.. guilty?

verse 2:

I once loved a gardener with his dirt-smudged face and hands

Trimmed my weeds and gave me room to grow my flowers again

But now my love is gone

And I am left here withering

Withering

okay negligible number one, impulse just. gives gardener vibes if you think about it skdmfm he seems like he'd enjoy weeding carrots and replanting sprouts into fresh soil. anyway. impulse and bdubs were obviously not close at all in this season andd had no notable interactions that I can remember? I'm doing this on a whim rn, I really don't know, I'd have to go do research (rewatch lol). still!! impulse "gave [him] room to grow" and whatnot, both of them doing their own thing with their own people independent of each other — in theory, putting the betrayal behind them.

but then impulse and grian plant a wither. in the snow fort. and bdubs is like the first person to charge it. he goes down!! he's WITHERING, PLEASE understand my insanity over this perfection. he's withering. verse 2. last life, season 2. oh my god its just perfect. and also bdubs is perhaps reminded of third life somewhere in the back of his mind, wondering if..maybe..maybe. impulse wasn't over it. and maybe grudges transcended seasons. and tango wasn't the only person on his tail. anyway..

verse 3:

I once loved a carpenter who carved a smile for me

Sanded my rough edges, crafted new and lovely things

But now my love is gone

And I can't help the fracturing

I never knew that I needed you

ya baby!! double life, they're soulmates, they're homewreckers and there's some slight tension they elect to pocket for another time because it's really not worth getting worked up over things when the other's burden is your pain. he carved a smile, so to speak..

on the other hand, impulse gives bdubs a clock first thing. a promise. double-ended. impulse will keep him safe, and in return, bdubs should keep impulse safe. a mutual thing. he carved it, you might say.

they work well together! do they bring out the best in each other? next question, but at least they keep each other safe, that's the least they can ask as each others' soulmates. things are good, really. homewreckers were one of the healthier couples in double life when it came to their own interpersonal relation. but of course it must come to an end, good times don't last forever, and this temporary devotion to one another isn't as definite looking forward, where there's no consequence for the other's pain.

verse 4:

I once loved a man who kissed me once before he left

Tied me up in knots and said he'd soon return again

But now my love is gone

And I am left unraveling

Unraveling

limited life!! remember the clock? a token of trust. then a promise of devotion and a reminder of solidarity : "we're in this together. your blood is my bruise." well, not anymore. other essays have talked about before but essentially the limited life clock impulse gave to bdubs was something made on a whim, with laughter during the exchange, but something back-handed and selfish in its making. it wasn't double-sided anymore. this time it was moreso an obstacle: "I gave you this clock, that means you can't hurt me, right?" not that it's something bdubs held himself up against, but the intention was of ensuring impulse's safety and freedom from attack from bdubs, with nothing to gain on bdubs' end. and that's only further emphasised when we later see TIES' hesitation in being friendly to him (there's more context there, the whole skizz thing, the fresher and more openly spoken about wound tango bore, poking fun at etho over bdubs, yada yada, but yknow!)

and really I don't think bdubs was ever fooled by this? I don't think he ever expected something genuine from this encounter, not really — impulse is quite cunning, he doesn't get enough credit for it. maybe it even stung a little. almost like a slap in the face, effectively pronouncing: "last season only happened because it had to. if things were different, you would've run away, wouldn't you have?" but impulse wouldn't put himself at stake over a grudge. because he's all about teams and alliances but at his core, and when it comes to it, when the shoe drops, impulse is in it for himself. and good for him!

bdubs just,, doesn't roll the dice that way. he's really the opposite. he's all for companionship, and truthfully those can get lost in the haze, it's what started this whole dynamic between them..but deep down he has his people he would never, ever go against, and people he'd put above teams, above himself. impulse is just not that person, and he knows it.

ANYWAY those were my thoughts about unraveling by the crane wives via bdubs and impulse, some of the pettiest in the life series who I love dearly. thank you

Lifers x Crane Wives

I saw someone comment on a life series TikTok or something to try and pair all of the lifers to a crane wives song, without repeating songs. so obviously I spent an hour doing it

Grian—Tongues & Teeth (self explanatory if you’ve EVER heard this song)

Scar—Steady, Steady (this whole song is about how their partner is walking out but they still want to be “wild and free” which is just SO Scar coded)

Tango—Ancient History (he keeps teaming up with Skizz and I feel like this song vibes with that, it also just feels very Tango)

Skizz—Icarus (this man always gives himself up for his teammates I swear, and he fuels them to keep going. It also says “oh brother, brother” which feels like Skizz talking to any of his teammates to me)

Impulse—Allies or Enemies (Impulse has been very iffy on a lot of his alliances throughout the seasons, especially in third life and with the amount of playing all sides that man has done this songs feels right)

Cleo—The Glacier House (this. this is literally just her leaving Fairy Fort. The song is talking to/about her from probably Lizzie’s perspective, but like the last line is 100% as if Cleo was speaking)

Bdubs—Unraveling (Bdubs relies so heavily on his teammates, and when he doesn’t have that stability *cough* Etho *cough* he just kinda doesn’t know what to do so this song fits)

Mumbo—Keep You Safe (this man is by no means an aggressive/reckless player [see: Joel or Martyn] and he feels like he’s just here for the vibes and honestly? Love that for him. This song is about fear not keeping you safe and watching your friends run high risks, which just is very accurate to how Mumbo plays this series. I also feel like he could fit Rockslide when he goes red cause he goes from standstill to “drop dead sprint” in terms of aggression)

Lizzie—Shallow River (another one I can’t explain but like. It has Lizzie vibes. Calm but this woman is a THREAT)

Jimmy—Canary in a Coal Mine (no further context needed, we all know Timmy)

Scott—Little Soldiers (this is very flower husbands, but also just feels like Scott looking back on the last seasons including Pearl, Jimmy, Martyn, all his reluctant exes. Also this man is the watchers’ like least favorite person ever and this gives that vibe)

Pearl—Ribs (i changed this from New Discovery because Ribs is entirely about somewhat angrily protecting and helping yourself because nobody else would, and it really strikes me as Pearl with the some things having been good (Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss) and some being bad (divorce quartet))

BigB—Not the Ghost (this man is so incredibly odd, he just constantly feels like he is being haunted by the watchers and just going about his life, he is the human personification of gaslight and we love that for him)

Martyn—The Hand That Feeds (he HATES the watchers with every ounce of his being, and with Ren gone I think this guy’s only purpose is just to spite them)

Joel—Sleeping Giants (go listen to it. That’s all there is to it, it just feels very Joel-ish, this lad is absolutely fucking mental)

Ren—Once & for All (this song feels like war and being betrayed, and Ren has been betrayed so much so it just fits. I mean come on “my blood’s forever on your hands” tell me that isn’t 100% something Ren would say)

Gem—Show Your Fangs (Girlboss moment, we love Geminislay. This woman is not someone to be underestimated and this song very clearly says that so it’s very Gem in my head. She doesn’t have enough lore yet to make it angsty but ONE DAY)

Etho—Never Love An Anchor (I can’t explain it, this song just has Etho vibes. I mean “It’s a secret I keep tucked inside my chest” just seems very him, I can’t really tell you why)