#bcs yea head full many thoughts!!!)

[rucow]

everyone talks about how nice it so have people be interested in your OCs, stories, yourself etc. but no one talks about how that can also be really draining bc some of us just don't feel the need to share our ideas with others, especially when we're put on the spot and interrogated

[seung-mong]

☆han - super graphic ultra modern girl!☆

the first installment in seung-mong's kinktober 2024!

synopsis: han thinks hes seeing things. he usually enjoys camping by himself, but when a bright light and a high pitched noise makes his head throb and his nose bleed, he genuinely thinks he could die. now he REALLY thinks hes seeing things because.. is that someone falling from the sky? after deciding to sleep on it (passing out), he meets you. and uh, oh yea. he's definitely seeing things! "it doesnt matter tho, he'll never have what it takes to be with a girl like me!"

includes: loser nerd PERV!han x alien fem!reader, subby hanji, han jisung is a SIMP LOSER he is so desperate its silly, mention of bondage, use of some kind of aphrodisiac, its really nasty and sloppy bc han jisung has a spit kink i didnt say it i mean i did but i uhm anyway

wc: 10 k WOAH

a/n: wanna know what this super hot alien baddie is saying? use this! thanks for being so patient. i love u

han jisung sweeps back the stray strands of hair that have fallen across his forehead, the thin layer of sweat making it stick uncomfortably against his skin. his brows are furrowed, eyes squinted against the harsh rays of the sun.

he could have picked a better spot to set up camp, but he's far too lazy to pack everything up and find another place. besides, he risks losing this perfectly fine clearing in between the thick of the trees. he supposes its decent enough, close enough to the stream so he could make several trips back and forth to refill his canteen.

he wishes minho was with him, though. he's not really that used to camping alone. by now, minho and him would be fishing for dinner. instead, han decided to pack as many canned foods and prepped sandwiches he could to last him the next couple of days. he never had much luck with fishing anyway.

honestly, you would have thought he was being forced to do this all alone! he shakes off the thought, promising himself that he was completely fine with the fact. he digs for his fishing hat in the duffel bag he proceeds to unceremoniously toss into his tent.

"first order of business, build a fire." he speaks out loud to himself. he jolts back as if surprised by the own sound of his voice, then chuckles to himself.

"okay this is a little weeeeeird," he shakes his head, eyes trained on the ground for any promising branches he could use for his supply.

"hm, not that weird? people talk to themselves all the time." he shrugs, bending down with a squeak as he grabs a couple of logs, then tucks them under his arm.

"nah, its weeeeeird. you're here all alone in the middle of the woods and talking to yourself. OUT LOUD. like a full on conversation. as if there are two parties exchanging information. YOU'RE ALL ALONE. and you're still talking out loud...." he continues to yap to himself, the only other sound besides his voice is the satisfying crunch of the leaves under his boots. he decides that bones crushing would sound similar.

"okay, that was a weird thought. do you need help? hahaha"

he cringes when his voice echoes.

he takes a deep breath and holds it, letting it out only when he feels the familiar burn in his chest. he shakes his head, chuckling at himself.

he wonders how long it will take for him to break.

by his eighth hour alone, han jisung feels like he's going just a little crazy. at first, he thought he was hearing voices. it turned out to be his own. talking. out loud. into the darkness of his tent.

he sits against the pole supporting his tent in the middle, knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. he finally got to reading the beaten up copy of pride and prejudice that hyunjin lent him, but after reading the same sentence eight times over and over again, he yelled out loud, scaring himself in the process, and chucked the book to the other end of his sleeping bag.

"i should sleep," he groans, looking out into the dark of the forest.

"but its at such an awkward time!" he whines, rubbing his face in frustration. "if i sleep now i'll wake up soooo earlyyyy."

"but im so bored!"

han groans, turning around to lean his head against the wooden pole. he stays like that for a while, chewing on his bottom lip. he's been silent for too long, the ringing in his ears is getting louder and louder.

"fine! i'll go for a walk!" he clasps his hands together before pushing himself off the ground, grumbling to himself as he pulls on his padded jacket and slips into his thick boots. he double checks the burner he used to heat up his dinner is off, and zips up his tent.

it's way too cold for him to be out here right now. han immediately realizes his mistake a good mile away from his camp when a shiver runs down his spine the third time in a row within a five minute interval. the hand holding his flashlight is shaking violently, the other hand tucked tightly in the pocket of his padded jacket.

he's starting to overthink, the eerie silence and his wild imagination running in the dark as he ignores the weight that's started to settle in his chest. he feels as if someone's watching him, the hairs on the back of his neck standing at attention. he shakes his head.

for the most part, han loves being alone. he always more of an introvert, treasuring his alone time. he loves spending time by himself, getting to recharge and do things on his own without that icky feeling of being perceived by others.

he spends most of his hours alone.

he knows how it feels.

which is why he knows he's not alone right now.

in the dark of the woods where the trees are thicker, taller. he swallows the fear, chalking it up to his mind playing games on him. maybe there is such a thing as too much alone time.

"okay, i think thats enough for tonight." he announces into the darkness of the woods.

before he can turn around, a sharp ringing sound pierces his ears. its too loud, too high in pitch. han falls to his knees, flashlight falling onto the ground as his hands rush to cover the sides of his head, palms flat in an attempt to block out the high-pitched ringing.

he's never felt this sensation before, almost as if the soundwaves have entered his brain and proceed to jump all around. his head is pounding and he falls forward into the dirt, knees tucked into his chest in a fetal position.

he thinks hes going to die, truthfully. he faintly registers the fact that his hands have grown wet with what he can only assume is blood. its thick and warm and trickling in between the gaps of his fingers. he's beyond dizzy, eyes scrunching up in pain as he tries desperately to gather himself.

he has to get out of here.

there are tears coming out from his eyes at the pain, but through the thick blurry fog of his tears, he sees a beam of light coming down from the otherwise dark sky. the light blue light casts a shadow, the leaves of the trees dancing on the forest floor.

han thinks hes about to pass out. his skin is covered in goosebumps, and the sharp ringing in his ears have reduced to a dull hum. he blinks slowly, resting on his back as he accepts his fate.

he's dying and god is waiting to pick up his soul, casting a heavenly light down onto his poor, withered, totally dead body. he stares directly into the beam of light that hovers over him. a dark silhouette appears to come down to him, long flowing hair rustling in the wind, arms reaching out to him.

"are you... my guardian angel?" he chokes out once the shadow creeps closer, close enough for him to make out the features of the creature's face through half-lidded eyes.

"beautiful," he whispers, closing his eyes and awaiting the sweet kiss of death.

okay, maybe he was being a little dramatic.

he realizes this now when he jolts awake, leaves crunching under his body from the sudden movement. he's disoriented, rubbing away the sleep from his eyes as he takes in his surroundings.

he doesnt remember falling asleep in the middle of the woods. han's known for being able to fall asleep anywhere, but on the cold, hard, ground? out in the open? where animals could have feasted on him? thats just plain silly.

he sits up, and he's met with a sharp throbbing pain in his head. he lets out a grunt, eyes squeezed shut as he tries to collect himself. he looks around, his flashlight dead beside him. how the hell did he get out here?

he follows the trail back to his camp after walking down to the stream and splashing his face with the cold water, body aching and head still pounding. he considers wrapping this camping trip up and taking the rest of his leave from work in his cozy one bedroom apartment, safe from mosquitoes and ear-splitting ringing and lights from the heavens.

his tent looks normal enough once he finds the clearing, but the nearer he approaches, the more the hairs on his arms stand at attention. he's 100% sure he remembered to zip up the entrance to his tent. the entrance which is now wide open, the flap tucked neatly under a couple of stones.

he feels his heart drop to the pit of his stomach, throat closing up as the dread starts to settle deep in his chest. he swears he remembers locking up properly before going on a walk. he approaches his tent as quietly as he can, fingers clamped tight around the base of his flashlight, ready to swing it as hard as he can at whoever the hell has invaded his territory.

he peeks his head in, his mouth dropping at the sight.

it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

suddenly, he recalls the events that happened right before he passed out. the loud ringing, the flash of light, his guardian angel.

who's standing inside of his tent. completely naked.

ohmygod, he did die. he's in heaven right now.

he drops his flashlight, mouth opening before he can rationally make a decision.

"hey! you'r-" he's cut off by the zap of electricity that comes once you lock eyes with him, a heat that spreads throughout his whole body and renders him speechless. and for the second time within twelve hours han jisung feels himself collapse on the ground before darkness takes over his vision.

the first thing he feels is the cold. and then the sharp stinging in his cheek. his eyes fly open, and he immediately feels the pain all over his body.

he has never felt this beaten up before.

and then he feels the sharpness on his wrists. he attempts to move one, before he realizes he's tied up. he sits up straighter now, pulling at the rope thats tied tightly against his wrists, binding him to the pole in the middle of his tent.

if he's in heaven, why the fuck does it hurt so much?

"⍙⊑⍜ ⏃⍀⟒ ⊬⍜⎍ ⏃⋏⎅ ⍙⊑⍜ ⎅⍜ ⊬⍜⎍ ⍙⍜⍀☍ ⎎⍜⍀?"

jisung turns towards the source of the weird gibberish to find you sitting calmly on the edge of his bed.

he should be scared. but you're far too beautiful for him to register any actual threat.

you look human enough, your skin could pass as one, no ridges or bumps or patterns or scales to suggest otherwise. but there's something off-putting about your face. your features are too symmetrical, bug-like eyes narrowed and sitting too close to one another. your ears are way too small, especially now as your hair steers clear from your face. its subtle, the way a person could glance at you and not be suspicious. but the longer jisung stares at you, the more his fears are confirmed.

you're not from around here.

"w-what?" jisung whimpers, as if you would be able to understand him.

the look you give him sends a shiver down his spine.

you rise to your full height, top of your head bumping against the roof of his tent. you're definitely taller than him. then his eyes fall to the rest of your body, which, he might add, is completely bare. your skin is smooth all the way down to your pelvis, an even tone except for the area above your pelvis which turns a little darker.

he should be alarmed by the fact that your body is different from that of an average woman, noting in awe at the smooth plane of skin where your belly button should be.

but all he can think about is the fact that he's got a hot... being... standing in the middle of his room.

"eng,,,english?" your voice is small when you ask, as if you're unsure yourself.

han only nods.

you make a sound, and han can only assume you're cursing by the way your brows furrow and your eyes shut in frustration.

"english... not so good." you mumble, scanning the room for something.

"i'd say its pretty good." han squeaks.

you stare at him blankly. you walk around his tent, stepping over his legs and picking up everything you see. he watches you examine the pots he used to make his dinner before setting them gently on the ground.

he cant believe he's letting this happen to him. he watches in horror as you dig through his bag, taking out all the clothes he's brought on the trip. you're quite literally prodding around his personal belongings, and he's watching you, letting you, with a chub in his pants.

is he sick?

in his defense, you're completely naked in front of him, bending over and exposing yourself to him. han's always been known to have... different sexual preferences. admittedly, hes a little bit of a freak. to put it quite bluntly, he's into that supernatural shit. he's not afraid to say it! he digs that tentacle shit. he briefly wonders whether or not you possess some kind of supernatural abilities. he's read all about them. aphrodisiac slick? tentacle's hidden in between your legs? oooo does your tongue-

you make a sound of surprise before picking up the book he'd abandoned last night, excitedly turning to him.

"⟟⌇ ⏁⊑⟟⌇ ⌇⍜⋔⟒ ☍⟟⋏⎅ ⍜⎎ ⌇⏃☊⍀⟒⎅ ⏁⟒⌖⏁?" you hold the book in your hand as you sink to your knees beside him.

"i-m sorry i dont understand," jisung whispers.

you huff in frustration. "what... you do... this?"

jisung tries to understand your broken english. "oh! you uhm.. you read?" he nods towards the book in your hands, moving his head back and forth to show you that you have to open the flap, turn to the next page.

you tilt your head in confusion. you start to mimic his movements, moving your head back and forth in the same motion. jisung has to bite his lip from laughing.

"look, i could help you but you tied me up, so..." jisung nods towards his restraints.

you study his face for a long moment. "you.... harm?"

jisung shakes his head so violently he can feel his brain moving. "no. no harm. promise."

you give him one last look from head to toe before slowly nodding. you inch closer to his chest, arms wrapping around him to reach for the painful knot that keeps him hostage. han lets out a sigh of relief once the tie loosens, shaking the ache away from his hands.

you continue to stare at him, slightly backing away as he reaches for the book on the ground.

"you read it. like this, see?" han opens up the book on the page he had dog-eared last night, gliding his finger across the page to highlight the words.

you make a weird rumble sound from deep in your chest, eagerly snatching the book away from him. your brows furrow as you attempt to read, slowly sounding out the letters under your breath. han watches you, eyes trailing from your wide eyes to the purse of your lips as you read. they fall to even more dangerous territory down to your chest, and the smooth skin of your stomach, to the space between your thighs.

"oh!" he squeaks, awkwardly clearing his throat after catching your attention. "you should put on some clothes. you can borrow some of mine, no titty- i erm, mean no biggy!" he stands then, walking over to the mess that is his duffel bag. he pulls out his worn out alien shirt (very fitting, he thinks) and a pair of sweatpants. you'll just have to do with no underwear for now. he takes his time in refolding all his clothes before dumping them in a wrinkled pile at the bottom of his bag.

"here, put these on." he offers you his clothes from where you sit cross-legged on the floor of his tent. you finally pull away from the book, and stare blankly from the fabric in his hands to his face.

a beat passes before han finally clears his throat. "you uh... put them on. like mine, see?" he gestures towards his shorts.

"why?" you ask.

oh dear.

"oh, well. people dont... respond well to seeing other people, or well in your case- a being's naked body." he explains, crouching down beside you.

you dog ear the page just like he did before closing it and setting it down on the floor.

"you.. you dont respond well?"

han swallows. "oh, well i mean, more of like the general public."

"so you... okay with me, naked body?"

his cheeks warm. "i mean, its not exactly a problem. you're pretty and interesting to look at with all due respect, but like- i dunno you might be a little... cold?"

you shake your head before placing your hand on his cheek. he jolts at the contact of your warm palm on his skin.

"oh. you run hot." he squeaks.

you nod.

how in the hell can he persuade you to just put on the damn clothes? not to be a perv or anything but he feels so icky shamelessly staring at your body, and you're none the wiser. he can feel himself half-hard, (a totally valid response, he would argue) but the guilt is eating at him. he doesnt want to take advantage of your naivety.

"but the clothes... they provide an.. extra layer of protection, you know" he winces at his lame response.

your eyes widen, reaching for the clothes in earnest. "armor?"

han bites his bottom lip and nods.

you look down at the fabric in your hands with awe before you stand up. you look down from the clothes back to han.

han mentally slaps himself. "oh, right. er- lemme help you."

han crouches down, holding the sweatpants out for you. he gently guides your legs to where they need to go, slipping the pants up your thighs and settling them on your waist. his fingers brush against where your belly button should be as he ties the strands tighter, to ensure the fabric wouldnt fall down.

"there yo-" to say han was blindsided by the heavy hand that smacks across the side of his face is an understatement. your whole palm lands against his cheek. his jaw drops in shock as he looks up at you.

"⍙⊑⏃⏁ ⏁⊑⟒ ⎎⎍☊☍? ⊑⍜⍙ ⎅⏃⍀⟒ ⊬⍜⎍ ⏁⍜⎍☊⊑ ⋔⟒ ⏁⊑⟒⍀⟒!" you yell, clutching at the hem of his sweatpants and taking a step away from him, as if wounded.

"i- what?? what happened i-"

"⎅⍜⋏⏁ ⏁⍀⊬ ⏁⍜ ⎅⟒⋏⊬ ⟟⏁! ⊬⍜⎍ ⏁⍜⎍☊⊑⟒⎅ ⋔⟒ ⏁⊑⟒⍀⟒, ⊬⍜⎍ ⌿⟒⍀⎐⟒⍀⏁!" you continue to rant, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"okay, okay... lets calm down- just- tell me what i did? what happened? did i hurt you?" han holds his hands up in surrender as he slowly approaches you.

you take a deep breath and stare him down. "dont.. no touch." your voice is hard.

"okay, okay. im sorry." jisung coos.

"that... p-part! no." your voice wavers slightly.

"i hear you. i understand. im sorry, okay?" his voice is gentle as he takes another cautious step towards you.

you let out a deep sigh and nod. "i- i sorry too. i hurt you."

"oh, no its fine." han bites his tongue in an attempt to hold back the tears in his eyes.

he approaches you once more, this time with the shirt bunched up to place it on your head easier. you gasp at the sensation and han chuckles.

he wonders how he would react if he were in your shoes, in an unfamiliar planet with a man you can hardly understand, as he pokes and prods at you.

how did you even get here in the first place? he decides he'll save his questions for when you're a little more comfortable with him.

he gently wraps his hand around your wrists and guides them into the shirt before he reaches around to untuck your hair from the fabric, letting it sweep down your back.

"there! now you.. kinda look like me." he laughs.

you stare at him. "ha. ha. ha. what that mean?" you ask.

"oh, when something is like.. funny? if you like something you kinda.. laugh." he struggles to explain.

"oh. ha. ha. ha."

han cant help the giggle that escapes him. "oh by the way. whats your name?"

"name?"

"well i mean... me, han jisung." he points towards himself, poking his chest for emphasis. he turns his pointer fingers towards you before gently poking your chest.

you make a sound of understanding before you tell him yours.

"oh. y/n. thats pretty," he compliments.

you make a sound akin to a purr, rumbling deep in your chest. "i- i read. you book. okay?" you point.

"oh, alright!" han bends down to pick it up before he hands it to you. "its starting to get dark. i'm gonna start a fire okay? i erm- i leave for a bit. you stay."

you only nod before sinking to the ground, folding your legs under you as you lean against the supporting pole of the tent. "i stay." you reassure him. its not like you could go anywhere else anyway.

you watch as han gives you one last smile before he steps out into the dusk, zipping up his tent behind him.

you like han, you decide. you were exiled onto this planet for.. a crime you had no choice but to commit. you understand the gravity of the Supremes' punishment now, throwing you down into a disgusting, vile planet such as Earth.

why couldnt they have dropped you off at Sebion? at least you'd be the most intelligent sentient being. sure, the siens were a little annoying, constantly screeching at the mark of every hour. but that, you could live with. humans? a totally different story.

you remember the lessons they taught about humans, the most selfish, vile creature to exist in the universe. they look a little different from what you've been taught, though. they're supposed to have sharp teeth and long nails. the scariest part about them? they lie. imagine that! the thought sends a shudder down your spine. you know all about the evil that is the human race. possessed by horrors like greed, selfishness, and hatred.

they're the creatures that scared you the most. you could deal with the merqrai on vikunus. they had a weakness, a soft spot on the top of their head you could whack and render them unconscious. but humans? just about the only sentient being in the entire universe capable of betrayal. they are inherently evil, your tutors said.

you think back to how you had zapped han jisung, how his body folded like cloth into a heap on the floor. was electricity their weakness? something about han jisung makes you believe he's different, though. he's certainly not as ugly as the humans they showed you in class. he's almost a little pretty, with round eyes and chubby cheeks.

you'd like to think he wouldn't lie like the other humans, too.

by the time han jisung returns to his tent, you've finished reading the interesting novel cover to cover. admittedly, you skipped all the boring parts and instead focused on the dialogue. you wanted to impress han with your new english.

"hello." you chirp cheerily as soon as han jisung enters, removing his gloves and settling closer to the radiator in the middle of the space.

"oh! hi." jisung blushes, reaching his hands out to the heat.

"you are cold?" you coo, moving a little closer to sit beside him.

han just giggles. "yea, a little. it's around winter now so its getting chilly. i think its gonna snow tomorrow."

"winter? the cold time?" you vaguely remember your tutor telling you all about the seasons on Earth.

thank god you picked up those extra lessons on Earth.

"yea! does it snow where you're from? han is seated more comfortably now, legs stretched in front of him.

"snow? the... uh... from the sky? falling, yes?"

"yea! the little white things that fall from the sky."

"oh... no snow at home. just uhm what you call it... rain?"

han beams at you. "you said your english was bad, but i think you're doing perfectly fine. pretty good for someone not around here, actually."

you cant help the smile that creeps on your face. a silence falls over the both of you after, with han staring deeply into the emptiness of his tent. you look at him now, really look at him while he's distracted.

his eyes really are pretty, glowing here in the dark and shining a little thanks to the reflection of the fire lit in his tiny lamp. you inch a little closer to him now, slowly just until your thighs press against the side of his.

"erm- what are you doing?" han instantly pulls away.

"cold? i warm you." you offer, bringing your knees to your chest in an attempt to make yourself small. you figure maybe he's a little apprehensive to be too close to you. you did happen to zap him earlier.

han lets out a sigh and crawls back to his seat next to you, the side of his body pressed firmly against yours.

"damn, you're really hot." he chuckles before inhaling sharply at the double meaning. he doubts you'd understand.

"i know. you shake." you coo, draping one arm over his shoulders and pulling him to you a little more firmly.

han stiffens at your side, head awkwardly pressed against the side of your chest. he can faintly hear the rhythm of your heartbeat and his eyes widen.

"whoa, thats so cool!" han exclaims, pulling away from you.

you tilt your head in confusion as han gently cups the back of your neck to pull your ear against his own chest. you gasp at the sound.

"so slow!" you yell, looking up at him in awe.

"and yours is so fast." han chuckles, resting his head against your chest once more.

you let him wrap himself around you, the weight of today falling on han's shoulders as he subconsciously slips into a state of sleep. you watch as his blinking slows, until his lids flutter into a final close. his breathing evens then, warm air tickling the side of your chest with his every exhale. a deep rumble starts within your chest, a vibration that spreads throughout your whole body until the tips of your fingers. you reach up to delicately stroke his hair away from his face, his smooth skin and sharp nose drawing your attention.

"so pretty," you mumble, your own eyes fluttering shut to the sound of han's heavy breathing.

when jisung wakes, he's cold and shirtless. he sits up abruptly, throwing the weighted blanket off his upper body and scrambling for his slides. its far too early for his heart to be beating this fast, but panic settles in his chest when he registered your absence.

"y/n?" he croaks, hastily unzipping the flap to his tent and all but throwing himself outside.

"morning!" you cheer, hair wet and dripping onto what was han's shirt from yesterday, now damp and hanging awkwardly on your frame, as you'd shoved an arm and your head into one hole, stretching the fabric around you. in one hand, you hold a sharp, pointed stick. impaled on it are several colorful fish, flopping in an attempt to escape their inevitable death.

on the other hand, your clothes from last night.

"oh." jisung exhales, hands coming up to clutch at his chest.

"i.. i catch these!" you beam, extending the stick to him.

jisung can't help but giggle a little. "yes. i see that. thank you. my errr- my shirt?"

you look down as if just remembering that you'd stolen his shirt from him in his sleep.

"oh! i... i walk to the water to clean me, i see in the water this," you shrug to the fish, "but then i cant reach! so i go in and catch them. but i get wet. so i take off. but then i see people and i remember what u say to me. 'general public dont want naked body.'" you finish seriously, voice lowered in an attempt to mimick han's.

han's heart drops at the mention of other people.

"you.. you saw someone? where?"

you turn and point to a clearing not far from the other edge of the river.

"a man. like you!" you cry excitedly. "can we meet?"

"no." han's voice is firm as he wraps his hand around your arm, pulling you to the tent. "lets cook that fish for lunch. maybe we should go back to the city." he thinks aloud to himself. not a lot of people know about this campsite, somewhat of a private haven shared between his friends. minho's father used to take them camping here, and the only other people who know of this site are minho's close friends. he's a little worried to run into someone he knows right now with you here with him. not that he wants to hide you or anything...

"the city!" you screech, plopping yourself down on the floor. "i want to see! i hear about the... the things you move in? the big.." you proceed to gesture wildly, hands reaching out to grip onto something and steering left and right.

"yes, a car?" han offers, turning the burner on as he watches you with fondness.

"ohhh yes! i want car." you sigh dreamily.

han approaches you as he lets the food cook, snorting to himself as he reaches out to fix your shirt. gently, he raises the collar and removes your arm, shooting it in the right hole.

"there. you're like a big baby."

"your baby! ha ha ha ha." you joke, looking to han for validation.

instead, his cheeks redden and he shrugs. "i guess, yea?" he turns away from you as he reaches into his duffel for a shirt of his own.

a couple of beats of silence pass before you turn to han. "do you have mate?"

han chokes on his own saliva, doubling over in pain as he slaps his own chest.

"i- what?"

honestly, you have no idea what possessed you to ask that question. you suppose its the curiosity in you. but another part of you is less naive. you know whats happening with han. after last night, the way you fell asleep in his arms with his heartbeat in your ear. he's sweet to you, kind and patient. you wonder if humans do these things to each other regularly, or if, like your kind, such special moments are reserved for special people. you sincerely hope its the latter.

"i just... wonder. like elizabeth and mister darcy." you mumble.

han chuckles at that. "oh. right, then. no. i dont have a mate. do you?"

you blush. you didnt expect him to ask you the same question. you firgure you're fine with opening up to han.

"i did."

han's eyes widen as his whole body turns to you in bewilderment.

"what?" he squeaks.

you give him a small smile filled with nothing but sadness. "not now. i did have but now no." you clarify, shrugging.

"aren't mates for life or something? what do you mean you dont have one now?"

you stare at him blankly. han suddenly feels as if he's overstepped. "i'm sorry, i didnt mean to-"

"mate is a bad man." you sigh, gaze dropping to the floor.

han swallows, staying silent in fear that making a sound would somehow change your mind about sharing something so personal with him.

you stare at him thoughtfully for a minute before you continue. "he was forced mate. for me. i dont choose," you explain, brows furrowing. "he want me but i dont want him."

"why?" han cant stop himself from asking.

you make a face, and han laughs. "ugly?"

"very."

"so what happened?"

you shrug. "he try to mate me. i say no. he say yes! i hurt him. he send me down here."

"thats horrible." han shivers, pouting at you.

"yes. worst punishment. earth." you sigh, shaking your head.

"hey, its not that bad." han bumps you with his shoulder, trying desperately to lighten the somewhat heavy mood.

"yes. not bad." you say genuinely, holding his gaze.

han coughs awkwardly and smiles sheepishly at you before he stands abruptly. "you should come to the city with me. you can stay at my place for a while and get used to things and then maybe... i dunno. we'll see. how does that sound?"

you simply stare up at him with a blank expression on your face.

han swallows before starting once more, "we go to the city. my house. you stay and then.... you leave. when you want."

"oh yes!" you yell excitedly, "in the.. uhm car?" you're eager.

"yea... its kind of a long ride though, you'll probably grow bored."

han could not be more wrong. from helping him pack up his tent to bringing his stuff to his car, to squeezing everything into the backseat, to settling down in the passenger seat- you're absolutely buzzing. if you were locked in a room, han's sure you'd be bouncing off the walls.

"what is that?" you point out to the green fields just outside your window.

"thats a cow," han answers your umpteenth question of the day.

"and that?"

"another cow."

"that?"

"still a cow."

"and this?" you finally turn your attention to the things inside the car. your finger glides across the top of the stereo, fiddling with the buttons and twisting the knobs.

"thats the radio. it plays music, see?" han turns the radio on to a random station, a song he recognizes by gorillaz playing softly.

you stare in awe. "whats that language?"

"music," han hums along, turning the volume up.

"when you're close to me~ dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun," han's thumbs drum along to the beat on his steering wheel.

"i like that. ha ha ha," you offer thoughtfully, trying (and failing) to match the way han bobs his head along to the music.

"yea? thats good. we have something in common."

by the time han pulls into the parking right under his unit, you've somewhat calmed down. admittedly, he swears he didnt mean to, but his mind wandered to the man you crossed paths with in the woods. what if he saw how... different you looked? he imagines you thrashing wildly in the river, catching fish with your bare hands. he worries his bottom lip until he can feel a little bit of blood. what if he told someone? what if someone comes to take you away from him?

not that han feels like he owns you in any way, but he cant explain the feeling of responsibility he has over you. he tries to tell himself its silly. you've known each other for 2 days! and yet when han watches you stare out the window in awe, he feels his heart beat erratically in his chest and his cock twitch in interest. do you even feel that way for him?

you on the other hand, are completely confused. han starts to get quieter and quieter the nearer you get to his home. you start to wonder if he's suddenly regretting bringing you here. he starts to zone out, completely ignoring your questions. you figure maybe he's grown tired of your yapping, constantly asking him questions. instead, you busy yourself with staring out the window.

honestly, you can find some similarities between his planet and yours. the tall buildings that seem to tower over everyone, the way people seem to walk with purpose, a destination in mind. there are many different creatures on this planet, some that walk on all fours and are significantly smaller than humans. han tells you they are called "animals" and that there are lots of different kinds. han tells you he has one in his apartment. a "dog" he calls bbama.

"just... stay right behind me, alright?" han says anxiously, keys tight in his hand.

you're starting to get a little nervous yourself. clutching tightly on to the straps of his bag.

han exhales as he pushes open his front door. "bbama baby? daddy's home!"

the little puppy bounds excitedly for the door, barking and yipping at his feet. han coos down at him, gently settling his bags down by the door and moving in to allow you some space to enter.

"we have a visitor, bbam! say hi." han scoops his little baby up to his chest and holds him out to smell you.

you stay frozen in fear, the furry creature sniffing at you wildly before his tongue darts out to lick at your hand.

"HE GOT ME. HE GOT ME." you start to sob, backing into the farthest corner and clutching at your hand as if in pain. bbama is taken aback by your loudness and starts barking, tail wagging as if to say he enjoys this game.

"its okay, its okay! he likes you!" han reassures you, biting down on his tongue to keep from laughing.

"he.. he attack me! with his mouth!" you accuse, waving your fingers in his face.

"noooo, he kissed you! its a way to show you like someone, see?" han lifts bbama up to his face, who immediately starts licking his cheek enthusiastically.

you watch, still a little apprehensive. you lower your hands, scooting a little closer to the furry ball in han's arms.

"he... he's so small." you note, tilting your head to scan bbama's whole figure.

"yea, hes just a baby. he's totally harmless." han coos, setting bbama down on the floor. the dog immediately runs to your legs, jumping up and down.

you only stare at him. "what is.... his purpose. like why?"

han is a little taken aback by your question. "for friendship?" he offers.

you seem satisfy with his answer, carefully stepping over the dog as it continues to nip at your pants, weaving in and out from between your legs as you walk around han's apartment. its nice and cozy, bright with lots of windows to let in light. his living room is cute, a long couch and a tv, a funky rug in the middle.

han watches you look around, rocking back and forth on his heels as he takes a deep breath. "uhm.. so this is where i live." he says weakly.

you nod. "its nice." you hum, running your fingers along the countertop in his kitchen. you continue to look around until your gaze lands on him, fixed on the way he seems to wait for your approval.

"okay. well, uhm. you can sleep in my room and ill take the couch."

you tilt your head. "why apart?"

han swallows. "well.. i mean- its just.. not right..." your heart sinks a little. not right?

"i want near you. like in your tent." you refer to the night han slept in your arms.

"no! that.. that cant happen again. you sleep in my room. i sleep here." han's voice is final. he cant allow himself near you, guilt suddenly eating at the way his body reacts to you. he knows he cant help but be attracted to you. its just the fact that you're so naive, so clueless to the way he yearns to touch you. he feels like a total perv.

your brows furrow in confusion. you thought maybe you were past this weird awkwardness with han. he seems to prove you wrong now, eyes darting nervously across the room and to the floor, as if mapping out a way for him to get out of this conversation.

"you dont want me?" you ask sternly.

"what? no! i dont-"

han is interrupted by the sound of keys jingling by his door. his heart drops when he remembers he's home two days early. he'd asked minho to house sit for him.

"oh. you're back?" minho opens the front door before han can successfully close the door stopper, making him look like a fool as he lunges awkwardly forward and quickly stopping himself.

"oh- yea i dont feel well." he forces out a weak cough.

"riiiiight. okay who's this?' minho nods to you, who appears from the kitchen at the sound of another voice.

you gasp. "another human!" you quickly approach the pair, ignoring han's quick head shakes of no.

"err.. yea?" minho raises an eyebrow before turning to his friend. "seriously who is this?"

"no one! just some random i said id give a ride home aha haha," han sweats.

no one? you are no one now? you give han a stern look before you lock eyes with the stranger.

"i am y/n."

"cool. i am minho. where you from?"

"im from zemenia!"

"oh... cool. exotic."

"thats enough getting to know each other! bye bye now." han quickly pushes minho forcefully by the chest, nudging him until his whole body is out in the hall.

"you still have to pay me for the 2 days, alright?" minho says.

"whatever, fuck off. bye!" han throws himself against the door dramatically, huffing and running a hand through his hair.

"that was close," he chuckles, turning to you.

your face does not match the wide smile he so proudly wears. your face is twisted in a scowl, arms crossed in front of you.

"what?" han squeaks.

"why? why do you hide me?" you storm away, plopping yourself on han's couch.

"what are you talking about?" han whines, chasing after you. "what if minho found out about where you're from? who you are? what you are?"

he spits the words out as if disgusted. could that be it? han is disgusted by who you are? what you are?

"ah, so you are ashamed." you're quick to argue.

han cant believe his ears. where is this coming from? he falls to his knees in front of you. "what? no! im not ashamed of you."

"then why do you hide me? you are so confusing. you hold me and say things to me and i like that feeling. but then you act weird. and say you dont want to stay near me. and you hide me from other humans! and then you almost kill me with your bbama!" you're throwing your hands in the air, clearly agitated.

han's frowning. he knows you must feel confused, overwhelmed. but he's also smiling at the back of his head. "y/n-"

"i... i dont know! these feelings. inside.. i dont- i dont feel these things at home. i- this is all so different! and you're confusing me." you groan, kicking your legs up to the couch and hugging them to your chest.

han sighs. "no.. you got it all wrong. let me explain, okay?"

"⏃⌇⌇⊑⍜⌰⟒" you bite back.

"hey. i dont like the sound of that." han whimpers.

you only roll your eyes.

han sits up with a sigh, crawling slowly next to you. he grabs you by the knees and forces you to turn your body towards him. his fingers rest there, gently caressing the skin there.

"look, i am not. ashamed of you. at all. i think you're the coolest thing to ever happen to me! which is why... im scared." han sighs.

you look up at him, fearful. "you scare of me?"

"no! i just- im scared that... someone's gonna take you away from me as fast as i got you, you know?"

you nod, timid.

"and im.. a little overwhelmed. that feeling you feel? with all the... feelings in you? and you're all confused, right? thats how i feel too! like... its kinda weird because we've known each other for such a short amount of time but.. i just feel... i feel something for you." han finishes off quietly, gaguing your reaction.

you only stare back.

okay, lets try again. "i.. im like mr darcy. and you're elizabeth. except i havent read the book so i dont know if they end up together... do they?"

"they are together."

"yea, so like.. i like you. but i feel bad."

"but why?" you whisper.

"because... i feel like im taking advantage of you... i feel like. you only know me. i feel like im trapping you. and i feel like its going too fast." han rushes everything out, like he's rapping.

you blink at him. "are humans... slow?"

han lets out a chuckle. "well, much slower than this." he gestures between the two of you.

"but. you like me. i like you. what is the problem?" you say, like its the easiest thing on earth.

han is caught off guard by how sincerely you look at him. maybe it could be the easiest thing on earth. maybe he's too in his head about everything.

you reach out to hold his hand, breaking him out of his trance. "no problem, yes?"

he huffs. "no problem."

han spends the rest of the afternoon making it up to you. he cooks you some food without setting his kitchen on fire, which, in his books, counts as a miracle. he watches as your eyes light up with every spoonful, the flavors exploding in your mouth. he holds your hand in understanding as he tells you how everything back at home tasted the same. he makes a promise to feed you everything ever.

he lets you watch everything your heart desires, heart hammering in his chest as you watch his favorites with the same enthusiasm as him. he answers all your questions with patience, never once making you feel like a burden. you appreciate that.

and later, after youve both showered (he insisted on doing this separately lest he get a heart attack), he dresses you up in his comfiest clothes and settles you on the bed next to him. you watch him in anticipation. he swallows, turning to shut the lights off.

"hannie," you coo, reaching for his hand.

"yes?" he tries to be nonchalant.

"you dont want to touch me?"

he fails.

"i- i dont know..."

"we do that at home too, you know?' you tease him.

his heart falls just a little. "oh. youve done it?"

you shake your head, no. "mate for life. remember?"

han swallows. "r-right."

"you shake. you scared?" you try your best to calm him down, sitting up beside him.

"well, i- just never done it, too." he mumbles.

"good. we learn together."

you're a fast learner, apparently. han showed you how to kiss, gentle and slow. yet you're here on top of him, arms wrapped around his neck as you kiss him incessantly. he can do nothing but take it, desperate hands clutching at your sides in an attempt to ground himself.

its so wet and sloppy, your saliva mixing with his and creating a puddle that leaks out the corner of his mouth in drool. it makes him dizzy, the way your tongue pushes against his.

"i- wait, lets slow down." he manages to squeak before you devour his mouth once more.

"you humans and your slow." you hum, pulling away just slightly to allow han some space to breathe.

he looks so pretty like this, eyes glazed over and cheeks rosy. his glasses are askew, lips shiny with spit. you lean over to lick at his cheek, the way he told you those who like each other do.

"there. you feel that i like you, right?"

han thinks its lethal, the way you do things that are just so dirty, and you're so unaware. he's never been this hard, and all you've done is just kiss him a little.

"y-yes. i like you too." han coos, hand resting at your nape and applying pressure to push your face closer to his, lips finding yours once more.

"i feel like i like you more." you pout at him.

han shakes his head. "no way," his voice is so much thicker, so much deeper as he leans forward to press his lips against yours.

you deny him a third time. "hannie, show me you like me." you whisper.

he blinks up at you stupidly. "h-how?"

you reach for his hands and drag them to the hem of your shirt. he understands, quickly undressing you and throwing the fabric to the opposite corner of his room.

"you're so beautiful." he gasps in awe, chin resting against your chest as he looks up at you.

"you can touch me. its okay." you reassure him, dragging his fingers along your bare torso. he relishes in the feeling of your warm skin against his, tips of his fingers gliding along inches upon inches of your skin, up and down your sides and across the front of your stomach. you hum, fingers tangling in his hair as you watch him explore you.

"want you to take off, too." you sigh, pulling at his shirt. he complies with no protest. hes back to kissing you the instant his shirt is off, hands coming up to cup your cheeks and pull you infinitely closer to him. he licks into your mouth eagerly, taking every drop of spit in your mouth as if its meant for him. you allow him to, letting out little sounds and squeaks.

"need you to ride me, please? will you ride me, baby?" han whimpers against your lips, hands groping at your chest.

"show me how," you're breathless when you pull away, leaving enough space for han to shimmy his pants off your hips. he groans at the sight of your thighs, plush and ready to be marked. you're eager for him, spreading your legs to show the slit in between your thighs.

he watches in awe as you dip two fingers into your hole, scissoring the digits until you feel you've loosened yourself up enough.

"you, please. off." you mumble.

han obeys instantly, rushing to push his jeans down his thighs, shaking the fabric off until it sits at his ankles. you blink once you take in the size of his cock, hard and aching for you.

han suddenly grows shy, hands cupping his cock as his ears grow red. "whats wrong? is it.. is it okay?"

"its... big. not as big at home." you exhale shakily.

his dick twitches. you think he's big?

"its okay, let me eat you out, itll feel better when its wet." he promises, pulling you to sit on his face.

you back away in panic. "you eat me?" you ask in shock.

han laughs, breathless. "no baby, not literally! just... let me show you, okay? trust me?" he hums, stroking your thighs gently.

"o-okay." you relax in his hold, allow him to maneuver you until your core sits right at his open mouth.

"relax, baby, i got you." han coos, before he lets his tongue out to scoop the liquid in between your thighs.

the taste immediately goes straight to his head, making him dizzy and hot. he lets out a low groan. now, han is a munch. he loves eating pussy. all kinds of pussy, truthfully! he's not one to discriminate. he thinks every pussy is unique and none of them should be compared to one another.

yours though? oh he means it deep in his balls when he says its the best. the taste is different, genuinely sweet like honey as it trickles down his throat. he swallows up everything you have to offer to him, growing deaf to the way you moan pitifully above him, ignoring the painful sting that your fingers bring when you pull at his hair.

"hannie! thats.. good! i- i ⍜⊑ ⋔⊬ ⎎⎍☊☍ ⏁⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⌇⍜ ☌⍜⍜⎅!" han chuckles against your mound, sticking his tongue as deep into you as he can. he thinks he's tripping now, lightheaded as his blood rushes south. suddenly everything's so sensitive, his senses heightened. every time your fingertips brush against his face he jolts a little, the sweat on his back suddenly too wet, too much for him to bare.

you fall apart on his tongue with a cry and han hums in triumph, swallowing the nectar you gift him. you shake on top of him and han drags you down to his lap, sitting up to wrap his arms around you.

"good?" he asks, cocky.

"yes," you sob, eager to kiss him as thanks. he accepts gratefully, tongue swirling with yours as he situates you on top of his aching cock.

"can i put it in, baby? please. please let me fuck you, y/n." he begs, pathetic.

you hum, your forehead resting against his. "you have to ask some more. thats how it is."

han whimpers. you're making him beg for it? how cruel. "please, baby. i'm literally so hard right now, it hurts so bad. never been this hard. need to put it in your pussy so bad,"

"hurts?" you coo condescendingly, wrapping your slender fingers around his cock.

han can only whimper as you tug on his dick. "please,"

you give in to him then, "put it in, then."

he scrambles to wrap his hand around his base, rubbing the tip along your slit to catch the wetness there before he presses in. you bite your bottom lip, the stretch getting to you.

"im sorry baby, does it hurt? i bet it hurts so bad." he hates that he's hurting you, but he cant deny the way he throbs harder at the face you make, eyes squeezed shut and mouth gaping open. he pulls you closer, shoving his tongue into your mouth in an attempt to distract you from the pain.

you sloppily kiss him as he sets you deeper onto his cock, your thighs shaking from the effort. you let out a gasp once you take him to the base, feeling so full.

"oh my holy fuck," han gasps, bringing his fist to his mouth and biting down on his knuckles in an attempt to holding off his orgasm.

he's just started, and he can already feeling it end.

what kind of alien pussy magic is this?

"oh!" you exhale, hands gripping tightly onto han's shoulders. "its.. a lot," you're speechless.

"it feels so good," han whines, arms wrapping tightly around your waist.

you start to move then, rocking your hips back and forth, driving han absolutely crazy.

"fuck, yes. take my cock baby. its yours now." he babbles.

"mine?" you coo, nuzzling into his cheek.

"you can have my whole house. take everything i own. just dont stop moving your hips like that, please." his mouth is filthy, and you only smile.

"like this?" han whines when you speed up, fingers scratching the skin on your back.

"im so sorry baby i think im gonna cum." han pouts as he looks up at you, looking genuinely sorry. "i cant hold it."

he's not usually this sensitive, but something in the way your pussy hugs him just right has him losing his goddamn mind.

"its okay, hannie. i like you so much." you coo, holding him close. he shoves his face in between your breasts as you ride him for everything he has, cumming wildly with a shout. he spills inside you, eyes squeezing shut as tears threaten to spill down his cheeks.

mygod. its good enough to make a man cry.

you hold him gently, soothing him with scratches down his back. its a long while before han pulls away from you, sweaty and red in the face.

"ill do better next time, promise." he pouts at you.

"ha ha ha. we have all the time. promise." you coo back, wiping away the strands that litter across his forehead.

"thats true. you're not going anywhere anymore." he pulls out of you and swiftly tackles you to the bed, a squeak slipping past your lips as han holds you down against the bed, his sweaty body pressing against yours. he brings his ear up to rest against your chest, the quick boom boom lulling him to sleep. you watch with fondness as han starts to snore, your fingers gently rubbing up and down his back.

how ironic for you to find home a million miles away from where it was once. he thinks its a little out of the ordinary, this love you two will share. who cares though, really?

han's got his fantasy alien baddie girlfriend.

taglist: @seungfl0wer @minniesverse @ayyonoona @prettydumbandcrying @kierraperkins3 @simp-council @nvrhis @maisyyyyyy @seunmong-in @hyunjinismypookie @doitforbangchan @fairypluto @rundontwalkshesaid @linosssss @birdcagebody @jutdwae-flower @satosugu4l @lovelymindescape @miraitstan @myjilix @softkisshyunjin @paborachaslvt

: @lac3ybow @jellyleggz @b-r-stark @wildtokay @kay-bear200 @rizzrosesworld @feetoffthemalfoy @yzsqu 😋 @frilledjellyfishh @stunna-girl69 @ravenziggy @loveuwoo @stellasays45 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @frequentlykit @k-drizzle @bookswillfindyouaway @hoeforsungie @mjdragonzz @min-doesnt-know @iikxstcenn @boi-bi-ahaha @janedewitt @seodwaekii @hyunjinnnniemylove @kpopjackie @blendingcaramal @charlieg1rl @y-ur--i

i hope u all got tagged omg thank u i love u all pls lmk if i missed ur tag!!

[itsrlymine]

idk if you’ve answered this before or if it’s something you may not want to answer but i was wondering how your journey from the early stages of finding out about manifesting up until knowing you’re the operant power and your full potential was like

my manifesting journey so far

Hello my love! I think I just haven't seen the question yet but I would love to answer!

As far as I'm concerned, I knew manifesting as manifesting around the time I was 18 and in my first year of university. But ofc, I was manifesting the whole time before. The university I went to had the lowest acceptance percentage ever but I still managed to get in even with my grades that didn't meet their requirements and i didn't even do the college essay that everyone else had to do. I remember just deciding over and over that I would go there no matter what anybody said. I was told it was expensive and I didn't care, I was gonna go anyways. It was $40k/yr at the time and I got $36k worth of scholarship....... I just thought that was just luck.

Before then, I was obsessed with One Direction and 5 Seconds Of Summer like y'all it was bad! I wanted to see them in concert so freakin bad, it was like my life depended on it. I literally manifested them coming to my state and to a city that people don't really tour all the time and yall!!!!! I was like right in front of them and I def passed out hearing Zayn sing live. I saw both bands live together, it was incredible. I used subliminals to clear my skin in high school as well but eventually forgot about them.

I think having my dad tell me I could do anything I wanted is what lead me to believe that if I wanted something, it was automatically mine.

In college, I would always have s*x with the guys i wanted just by visualizing or saying they wanted me sooo bad (still works now!). I would make up friend groups in my head and then find that i would be in them not even two weeks later. I watched "The Secret" in my first year and that was really transformational for me bc I always felt like I was failing God and my family bc I didn't want to go the medical route/even finish college.

The summer of 2021, I was 22 and at home with my parents and broke asf and i said no more! I started consciously manifesting again even though I didn't know that's what it was called. I decided I would get a job in marketing that would pay me over $70k/yr even though I had one month of experience and only certifications in the field. Did that matter??? Of course not!!!!! It was remote and had unlimited pto and i could go on as many vacations a year as I wanted. I found out about the law a month after I started my job but for some reason, it felt so complicated and I found myself trying so damn hard rather than just reminding myself how I got what I wanted before. literally inner conversations, visualizing and talking out loud about my desires.

What made me realize I could manifest anything was when I changed my menstrual cycle and went to Dubai for free twice. What the 3d looks like never matters especially when it came to my cycle, I deadass couldn't see how my internal organs would change according to what I wanted but ofc they changed anyways. it was shortened and I haven't had cramps in months. Going to Dubai for free by imagining Abdullah slamming the door in my face and telling me I was in Dubai. I literally made a pinterest board of where I'd go in Dubai and I went to every single place. I would tell myself over and over that I'm gonna leave my wallet at home because everyone was gonna pay for me bc we are rich asf duh!. When I tell y'all that's exactly what happened!!!!

I've manifested so other "crazy" stuff but yea these ones definitely altered my brain chemistry.

[giveafike]

ben shelton taking you on a date after flirting for months on atp/wta tour 😋

TLDR: Tennisplayer!fem reader x Ben Shelton flirting on tour until Ben acc gets a grip and asks reader out.

EDIT: part 2 here!

Word count + info: 5.1k! A LONG one but I just do not know how to stfu!! Dialogue (including comments, texts, phone calls - lots of flirting and teasing). Mentions of Carlos Alcaraz too (couldn't resist) alongisde Frances Tiafoe and Taylor Fritz.

Character Inspo: She's cheeky n playful (was listening to Promiscuous Girl - Nelly Furtado & 5 Star Hotel - Raye as I was writing this amongst many other similar songs so.... yea...behaviour like Sabrina Carpenter - yk just... fun! I didn't write any specifications but in my head I was envisioning Tyla so! But put whoever you want to cast ;)

Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW, this is sooo cute. There is a little naughty tsk tsk suggestive scene (CAR SCENE - feel free to skip) bit but nothing NSFW, teasing, playful relationship, little jabs here n there, hope its making ur feet kick! I hope it's funny too, like it makes u smile bc I had sm fun writing this !

Azzie Notes ✚: I literally gasped and giggled when I saw this prompt - I can't!!! SO, so, soooo cute I loved this prompt anon pls keep sending me more, you have this writer wrapped around your finger now. I love the idea of Ben with a WTA player, such a cute and fun dynamic!! Anyways, hope you all enjoy ;)

————————————————————————

Game, Set, Match - B.T.S

You stood on the court, the crowd's roar fading into a distant hum as you focused on the match ahead. A small smile played on your lips, and your eyes narrowed in determination. The bright sun overhead felt like a spotlight, buzzing on your skin, illuminating your every move and sharpening each muscle in your body. You were a force to be reckoned with — both polarising and captivating, your quick wit and cheeky banter stirred strong opinions. With a playful shrug and a blown kiss to the crowd, you dismissed the critics, your confidence as effortless as your serves.

Years of competing in Junior Opens had forged your resilience, and now you have been stepping into the world of professional tennis, where the stakes were higher and opponents fiercer. You had navigated this transition well over the past few years, finding your rhythm amidst the pressure, your footing steady on the path to greatness. The attention came quick too, especially with names like Nike wanting you to be an ambassador, and all sorts of products wanting you to be the face of the company, from protein powders to headphones - it was endless. The taste of victory was sweet and addictive, each match bringing you closer to the big prizes and recognition you had longed for. But just when you thought you had everything figured out, a whisper of uncertainty began to tug at the edges of your focus... not a what, but more a who?

In the past year and a half, life on tour has shifted for you in a whole different gear. Don't get it twisted, tennis remained top priority, but there was an undeniable spark that made the grind far more enjoyable and unpredictable, and that spark was no other than Ben Shelton. You first noticed him from afar, where casual nods turned into lingering glances that made the hair on your skin stand. With his raw power, boyish grin, and confidence that radiated from him, "Big Ben" was impossible to ignore. But it was during the Australian Open earlier this year that things between you really began to heat up.

Ben was anything but subtle. Once he set his sights on you, his flirting was relentless. You couldn’t help but feel flattered; it was hard not to get hooked to that buzz. After all, it wasn’t every day that a guy like him, full of charm and a teasing smile paid you so much attention. Others had thrown glances your way and offered compliments, but Ben? He stepped up his game like no one else.

Your first interaction was at a practice session where Ben sat by in the empty stands, right up by the court, arms folded and a smirk on his face. You could feel his gaze following you, his presence hard to shake off, not that you wanted to. As you finish another practice set, you heave, closing your fist to celebrate, and walk over to your bag, glancing up as his eyes light up as you catch his.

“You’re looking decent out there,” he teased, leaning over the railing, his voice laced with a challenge.

You stopped, placing a hand on your hip as you shot him a smirk, squinting up at him as you caught your breath. “Decent? It’s okay, I get it, it must be tough admitting I’m shaping up better than you.”

He laughed, stepping closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “Better? That’s a stretch, Y/N. But I’ll let you keep thinking that.”

You shrugged, a teasing grin playing on your lips. “Believe it or not, it’s happening, Ben,” you winked before slinging your bag over your shoulder and heading toward the tunnel. His chuckle followed you as you disappeared from sight.

The banter didn’t end there, though. Throughout the tournament, you could feel his eyes on you, watching during your matches. On TikTok, he left comments that had both your fans and his buzzing. One day after you posted a training video, he had commented: “You sure you’re training for tennis and not modeling?”

You grinned, tapping out a reply. “I’m great at multitasking. What’s your excuse?”

His response was instant. “Just waiting for you to finally give me a real challenge.”

Comments turned into small conversations as you passed by each other, where you’d joke and flirt like it was the most natural thing in the world. His relentless teasing was addictive.  

It cooled off slightly to just a couple of liked stories and posts until Wimbledon had rolled around. By this point, the stakes felt higher. You were in top form, but off the court, the media seemed just as interested in your interactions than your matches. And it didn't end there either, it wasn't long before other peers started piqueing interest. For example, Carlos? He wasn’t subtle either.

After a long match, you were relaxing in the players’ lounge when Carlos wandered over, his smile too bright to ignore. He leaned against the table beside you, casually close.

“You were on fire out there today. Maybe we should hit the practice courts sometime,” he suggested with a casual grin.

You tilted your head, a playful glint in your eyes. “Careful, Carlos. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you in front of your fans.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ll risk it. Besides, we’re both Nike athletes, we’ve got to stick together.”

Before you could reply, Ben Shelton walked into the room, his gaze locking onto you and Carlos immediately. His smile didn’t falter, but the way he sized up the interaction was hard to miss. He strolled over, hands in his pockets, exuding calm confidence.

“Carlitos,” Ben greeted, his tone casual, though the unspoken tension hung between the lines. “What’s this? Making future practice plans?”

Carlos shot Ben a quick glance, still smiling but aware of the shift. “Just talking about tennis, you know,” he said lightly. “Gotta keep sharp.”

Ben’s eyes flicked between you and Carlos before landing squarely on you. “I’m sure you can manage without help. She’s been getting a lot of attention lately, let her breathe.”

Carlos gave you a light tap on the arm before backing off, offering a polite nod. “Catch you later, Y/N.”

You waved him off with a smile. “See you around, Carlos.”

Once Carlos was out of earshot, Ben shifted a little closer, though still maintaining that casual air. “You’ve got him interested,” he commented, his voice dropping lower.

You looked up at him through your lashes, the corner of your mouth lifting into a sly grin. “What, jealous, Shelton?”

Ben’s grin spread wider, but his tone remained easygoing. “Nah, just keeping tabs. Making sure I’m not falling behind.”

You stood up slowly, meeting his gaze as you adjusted your posture, your eyes glinting with mischief. “I don’t mix business and pleasure, Ben. We’re both Nike—gotta keep it professional.”

He chuckled, tilting his head. “So, you’re saying you’re all business?”

You turned to face him fully, taking a step closer, your voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “Oh, not always. But you’ll have to keep up to find out.”

With that, you brushed past him, leaving a lingering tension in the air. His eyes followed you as you walked away, and you could practically feel his grin growing. The banter was always playful, but now, with each exchange, the stakes seemed to rise; the unspoken understanding was clear: the game was very much on.

As the summer heat intensified, so did the buzz around Nike’s newest campaign. Your latest photoshoot was all about capturing both your athleticism and your bold personality. In a blue baby tee top with a heart-shaped keyhole and a matching skort, you struck poses that screamed confidence, captioned simply: "Ready?"

The comments rolled in quickly, and it didn’t take long before Ben made his appearance.

It didn’t take long for the comments to roll in. And as expected, Ben was quick to chime in.

benshelton:

"You call that ready? Looks more like you’re just warming up."

You chuckled, tapping your response.

Y/N.Y/LN:

"Warming up is all I need to beat you, Shelton."

benshelton:

"Beat me? Let's not get ahead of ourselves... You'd need more than a warm-up for that."

The banter was familiar, yet it always left you with a smirk. You leaned into the challenge.

Y/N.Y/LN:

"Careful, or I might just take that as a challenge."

benshelton:

"I play to win."

The playful back-and-forth didn’t go unnoticed by your fans, but it was clear this game of teasing wasn’t just for show. It must've been a week before it escalated further. You hsd landed a major Victoria’s Secret campaign, and it was unlike anything you had done before. They flew you out to Paris and guided you through the whole thing. The theme was dark and seductive—a fallen angel vibe. Lingerie, lace, and the kind of allure that left little to the imagination. You felt powerful, but also aware of how this would get attention—not just from the public, but from Ben.

You posted one of the shots late that night. The lighting was dramatic, casting soft shadows across your body as you reclined in lace.

The caption was simple yet suggestive: "Best kept secret. VS Summer 2024 Fallen Angel Collection, from me to you."

Naturally, Ben couldn’t resist commenting.

benshelton: Fallen angel, huh? Guess that means you’re trouble.

You rolled your eyes, suppressing a smile as you typed out your reply.

Y/N.Y/LN:: I thought you liked trouble.

It was no surprise when he slid into your DMs right after that.

benshelton: "I do. But you're playing a dangerous game."

You bit your lip, leaning back against your hotel bed. It was late, and the quiet Paris night settled around you, but your heart raced.

Y/N.Y/LN: " A game? Who said I’m playing? "

benshelton: "You might not be playing, but you're already winning."

You hesitated for a moment, then smirked as you typed out your next message.

Y/N.Y/LN: "And here I thought you said you could keep up."

Almost immediately, your phone buzzed again. This time, it wasn’t another text. It was a FaceTime call. You let it ring for a beat or two, your pulse quickening, before answering.

Ben’s face appeared on your screen, his hair slightly damp and his grin all too familiar. "You really know how to mess with a guy’s head, you know that?"

You smiled, pulling your covers up over you and leaning into the pillow. "What’s got you all worked up? It’s just a campaign."

He scoffed, running a hand through his hair. "Just a campaign? C’mon, you know exactly what you’re doing."

You blinked up at him, teasing. "And what is it that I am doing, Ben?"

His grin widened, but there was a glint in his eyes. "You’re pushing my limits. You're tempting me"

You chuckled, biting your lip as you let his words settle over you. "Tempting? Now that’s an accusation if I ever heard one. Maybe you're just easy to push."

Ben raised an eyebrow, viting a smile back as well. "Maybe I am. But you better be careful, or you might get burned."

The heat in his gaze made your heart skip, but you kept your tone light. "I think I can handle the heat."

Ben’s smile deepened. "That’s what I’m counting on."

You stared at each other through the screen, the tension palpable even across the distance.

Finally, you smirked, pulling the covers higher. "Goodnight, Shelton."

He sighed, but his grin didn’t falter. "Goodnight, angel. Sweet dreams."

From there, the texts seemed to pour out. Every random moment, one of you would reply to a post or find some excuse to message or call, any reason to interact. You had a secret surprise up your sleeve which you knew would practically bring Ben to his knees for you if he wasn't there already, and it had something to do with a custom dress for a red carpet.

It was a hot July night in Spain, the night draped itself around you like a warm embrace, the energy of the red carpet charity event still pulsing in the air. Your dress—a stunning, sheer, sand-colored creation—clung to your body in all the right places, slit at the thigh, your hair pinned back, accentuating your glossy, sheen skin on your neck down your shoulders. The dress shimmered under the streetlights, leaving just enough to the imagination, but not too much.

Photos were posted by your team, "behind the scene" shots and red carpet poses.  The cameras had devoured every moment, the attention was full on and the night buzzed well. You reveled in the limelight and felt like a true celebrity for the night but, as the evening wore on, you began to feel drained from all the social interactions and wished you could just be alone with your phone, texting the one man who truly kept you on your toes.

Finally, as you collapsed into the backseat of your car, exhausted but exhilarated from the night's events, your phone buzzed with a missed call from Ben. The driver glanced back at you through the rearview mirror as you eagerly turned on your phone and smiled to yourself. In that moment, all you wanted was to be alone with Ben and continue this thrilling game of flirtation and surprises. You call him back after a minute passes, butterflies in your stomach fluttering away.

"Couldn't wait, could you?" you teased, giggling as you leaning back against the plush seat. His grin appeared instantly, filling your screen.

"Wait? After that post?" Ben's voice was a mixture of playful frustration and barely concealed admiration. His eyes roamed over your dimly lit image through the screen as though he could see you sitting there in that dress. "You’ve been trying to kill me with these looks for months, but this? This is the final straw."

You laughed softly, pretending to adjust the neckline of your dress as he clearly struggled to keep his composure. "I'm just doing my job. Don’t get too distracted."

Ben shook his head, a grin still lingering on his lips. "Distracted? I’ve been refreshing Instagram like a madman just to catch another angle of you. And from what I saw, I’m not the only one. You’ve got every guy on tour dropping their jaw."

You smirked, rolling your eyes playfully. "You jealous?"

"Jealous? Let’s see. Alcaraz, Ruud… even Tsitsipas liked your post. You know that guy doesn’t just like anything. But trust me, no one’s more jealous than me," Ben teased, his voice dipping lower.

You laughed softly, brushing a hand over your dress as you adjusted the fabric, playing coy. "Ben, there’s only one person I’m trying to get a rise out of—and it’s definitely not them."

His grin widened, eyes gleaming through the screen,scheming away, "Glad to hear that. So...how about you give me something a little more exclusive?Just a sneak peek. Something that’s all mine."

You crossed your legs slowly, feeling the slit in the dress reveal just a bit more skin, and you caught the driver’s eyes flicking up to the rearview mirror. He quickly cleared his throat and looked away.

You smirked, feeling a rush of boldness. "I'm in public, Shelton. What are you suggesting?"

Ben’s eyes glinted with mischief, his grin widening. "Nothing crazy. Just a little something to hold me over."

You raised an eyebrow, leaning back, the sound of the city humming outside as you sighed. You stretched your legs out across the backseat, angling your body to the side, draping yourself across the backseat for a full body shot. The dress shifted, catching the city light while still being dimly lit, showing off your figure perfectly as you lounged effortlessly. "Is this what you had in mind, Ben? A full shot?" you purred, looking up at your phone, your eyes sweet and innocent.

Ben’s jaw tightened, his chest rising as he exhaled sharply. "Damn, Y/N, I knew you'd look good, but this…" He let out a low whistle, leaning closer to the screen, his eyes glinting and a blush creeping up all over. "You’re not playing fair."

You smirked, enjoying the power shift. "Fair? You asked for it, Shelton."

He laughed, but it was strained, the heat in his voice unmistakable. "Yeah, but you know how to take it to another level. Now I'm the one who's going to be distracted all night." His tone softened, a teasing edge returning. "Just one more reason for me to fly out, don't you think?"

"One more reason?" you echoed, playing with the neckline of your dress, a smile teasing your lips. "I think I’ve given you more than enough."

Ben groaned softly, running a hand through his hair, clearly captivated.

" Y/N, you don’t know what I’d do if I was there right now."

Your heart skipped a beat. "Yeah? What would you do?"

"I’d start with that dress," Ben murmured, his eyes never leaving yours through the screen. "Slowly. You know, just enough to tease. Then—"

The driver cleared his throat, and you bit back a laugh. Ben noticed, his eyes narrowing playfully. "Caught?"

"Almost," you whispered, your pulse quickening as you adjusted in your seat, the thrill of being on the edge of danger sending a shiver down your spine. "You’re getting me into trouble."

"Ben’s gaze softened, though his grin stayed. "Me? You’re the one that looks like that." He paused, his voice low and rough. "God, if I could just be there…"

"Careful," you warned, grinning as you looked at him through half-lidded eyes. "You might lose yourself completely."

Ben’s gaze darkened, and his voice dropped even lower. "Maybe I’m okay with losing it when it comes to you."

You bit your lip, heart racing as you shifted in your seat. The driver’s eyes flicked up to the mirror again, and you quickly glanced away, fighting the blush creeping up your neck. “You’re dangerous, Shelton. Keep talking like that, and I might have to mute you.”

“Go ahead. Mute me,” he dared, his voice thick with challenge. “But I bet you won’t.”

You smiled, a small, teasing hum escaping your lips. “Oh, you think I’m scared?”

“I think you like teasing me as much as I like it.” His voice was gravelly now, every word laced with want.

Your breath caught, eyes wide a bit before you were about to respond when the car pulled up to the hotel. The driver got out quickly, opening the door for you. You stepped out, feeling the cool night air wash over your skin as you walked through the lobby, Ben still watching intently through the screen. You could feel his gaze on you as you made your way to the elevator, the tension between you buzzing like electricity.

Once in your room, you tossed your bag onto the bed and sank down onto the mattress. "Alright," you breathed, "I’m back in my room."

Ben’s voice came through the phone, teasing yet low with interest. "So… how’s that dress treating you?"

You grinned at his not-so-subtle curiosity. "It’s treating me well so far," you teased, running a hand over the fabric. You stood up, positioning yourself in front of the mirror.

Slowly, deliberately, you reached behind you to the zipper. "I’ll give you a little preview."

You lowered it just enough for the strapless dress to reveal a sliver of your smooth back, keeping the front of the dress held firmly in place with your other hand. The exposed skin was just enough to tease.

You turned back slightly, catching his reaction through the screen, his eyes locked on you. "You wanted to see, right?" you whispered, mischief clear in your voice.

Ben let out a breathy laugh, clearly amused. "You really know how to keep a guy on edge."

You shot him a playful look over your shoulder, still holding the dress in place. "It’s all about the suspense. You should know that by now."

Ben's gaze flickered, his tone a bit softer. "You’re making it hard to focus."

With a smirk, you turned to face him, still holding the dress tight. "Goodnight, Shelton."

Before he could say another word, you ended the call, tossing your phone onto the bed, feeling satisfied. You knew he wouldn’t forget that little moment anytime soon.

By the time August had rolled around, the tension between you and Ben was impossible to ignore. Months of teasing, playful banter, and phone calls had built into something electric, something undeniable. Now, you were both in New York for the U.S. Open. The final Slam of the year where you'd cross paths for the year, and maybe the final chance for one of you to make a move.

After winning your third-round match, you made your way through the tunnel, your heart still racing from the adrenaline of your win. The buzz of the crowd still rang in your ears, but as you walked toward the tunnel, you heard familiar voices ahead.

Ben, along with Taylor Fritz and Frances Tiafoe, stood laughing and talking just a few feet ahead. Their voices echoed in the corridor, their banter unmistakable.

“Bro, it’s embarrassing now,” Frances teased. “You’ve gotta ask her out. She’s into you, we all know it.”

Ben groaned, looking exasperated, dragging his hand over his face. “It’s not that easy. I don’t want to screw it up.”

Taylor chuckled. “Screw it up? Dude, she’s been giving you eyes all week. Just make the move.”

Frances nudged him. “It’s not like she’s hiding it either. The way she teases you, she's a green light.”

You smirked, slowing your pace as you approached. They didn’t notice you yet, too absorbed in their teasing.

Ben sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just… I don’t know.”

“They’re right,” you chimed in, finally stepping into view, as you walked by, wiping sweat off your brow, smirking. Their heads snapped toward you, startled. “Take their advice, Benny. It’s 'bout time you did something.”

Ben’s eyes widened as you walked past, your tone light but with an edge of challenge. His friends burst into laughter, both of them slapping Ben on the back, shoving him back and forth.

Frances grinned. “See? Even she's asking you to make a move, man.”

Ben shot him a look, but his gaze lingered on you as you disappeared into the locker room.

Later, after a shower and a change of clothes, you made your way back into the lounge, feeling refreshed but still riding the high of the match. You didn’t expect to run into Ben waiting for you, leaning casually against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

You raised an eyebrow, a slow smirk tugging at your lips. “Stalking me now?”

He pushed off the wall, taking a step toward you, his expression shifting from playful to serious. “No, what-uh, but I... I wanted to catch you before you left.”

“Oh?” You crossed your arms, looking up at him. “What’s up?”

Ben took a breath, looking almost nervous. “About what you said earlier... maybe they’re right. Maybe I have been holding back.”

You cocked your head, feeling your heart quicken at his sudden change in tone. “And?”

“And I think I’m done waiting,” he said, his eyes locking with yours. “Would you want to go out with me? Just us. Dinner, maybe?”

For a moment, the world seemed to be still. Ben, usually so confident and playful, stood before you with a vulnerability that tugged at your heart.

You let the moment hang, letting him sweat just a little before your lips curled into a teasing smile. “About time you asked, Ben.”

His tense shoulders dropped, a grin spreading across his face. “So, is that a yes?”

You let out a small giggle, your voice soft but playful. “Yeah, it’s a yes. Better come like a gentleman though.”

That night, you stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the sweet, soft dress you’d picked out. It was a pale pink dress, fitted at the top with a flowing skirt that flattered your figure perfectly. The neckline was delicate, with thin straps that accentuated your shoulders, and the soft fabric wrapped your waist before cascading down to just above your knees. The dress was sweet and soft, but still undeniably you—playful with a touch of elegance.

You headed down to the hotel lobby, taking a seat as you crossed one leg over the other, checking your socials. At 7pm on the dot, Ben walks in, running a hand through his curls before he sets eyes on you.

Ben stood there in a crisp white button-down shirt, the sleeves slightly rolled up to reveal his strong forearms, accentuating his strong shoulders, paired with dark, well-tailored pants. His curls were just tousled enough to seem like he hadn’t spent hours fixing it, but of course, he had. He looked handsome—maybe even a little nervous.

“You look stunning,” he said, his voice low as his eyes took you in.

You smiled, a soft blush warming your cheeks, as you stood up. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

He offered you his arm, and you linked yours through his, your fingers brushing over the firm muscles of his bicep as you stepped out into the lobby. There was a quiet buzz between you, the usual playfulness replaced with something softer, more tender.

As you walked to the car, Ben opened the passenger door for you, giving you a gentle smile as you slipped inside. Before he could close the door, you leaned over, reaching for the driver’s side door and popping it open for him.

He chuckled, shaking his head as he got in. “You always keep me on my toes, don’t you?”

You grinned, sitting back in your seat, and pulling your seatbelt over. “Always.”

The ride to the restaurant was comfortable, a soft hum playing through the speakers, "Love is Only a Feeling" by Joey BadA$$, making you smile a bit at his subtle but purposeful details. As the city lights flickered by outside, you felt a sense of calm settle over you. Every so often, your hand would brush against his on the center console until finally, you slipped your fingers into his, holding his hand gently as he drove.

Ben glanced at you, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of your hand. “You seem... different tonight,” he said, his voice soft, almost as if he were trying to figure out the shift in your usual dynamic.

You smiled as you gazed at him. “Different how?”

He hesitated, his grip on your hand tightening just a little. “I don’t know. Less playful. More...”

“Serious?” you finished for him.

He nodded, giving you a small, sheepish grin. “Yeah. I like it, though.”

You let out a soft laugh, leaning your head against the seat. “It’s just nice to finally be doing this.”

When you arrived at the restaurant, a small, candlelit Italian place tucked away in the quieter part of the city, Ben quickly got out and hurried around to open your door again. This time, when you stepped out, you smiled up at him, letting him take your hand. Before you could fully stand, he bent down, bringing your hand to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

Your heart fluttered at the gesture, the sweetness of it catching you off guard. “Such a gentleman,” you teased, though your voice was softer than usual.

Ben smirked, though there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes. “I’m trying.”

Inside, the restaurant was intimate, with small tables with flickering candles, and soft jazz music playing in the background. Ben led you to a corner table, pulling out your chair before taking his seat across from you. The low hum of other diners provided a cozy backdrop as the two of you settled in.

As you both browsed the menu, you found yourself resting your chin in your hand, watching Ben with a soft smile. He glanced up and caught you staring, a blush creeping up his neck. “What?” he asked, his voice a little breathless.

“Nothing,” you said, your lips curling into a grin. “Just... enjoying this.”

Ben reached across the table, his hand finding yours again. “Me too.”

Dinner was perfect. The pasta was rich, the wine smooth, but what made the evening unforgettable was how easy everything felt between you. Conversation flowed naturally, deeper than it ever had before. You talked about travel plans and places you both dreamed of visiting and shared stories about family traditions—like how your grandmother used to insist on making a very experimental desserts during the holidays, no matter how disastrous it turned out every year.

At one point, you glanced out the window, taking in the soft glow of the city lights before turning back to Ben. “What about you? If you could be anywhere right now… where would it be?”

Ben didn’t hesitate, his eyes locked on yours. “Honestly? Right here. With you.”

You felt warmth rise to your cheeks, your heart skipping at the simplicity of his words. He wasn’t trying to impress you, just telling the truth, and somehow, that made it even more meaningful. You reached across the table again, slipping your hand into his. His fingers intertwined with yours, the gesture now familiar, yet it sent a shiver through you all the same.

“I’m glad you asked me to dinner,” you said quietly, the weight of the night settling around you both.

Ben smiled, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of your hand. “I’m glad you said yes.”

As the night wound down, Ben drove you back to the hotel. The city outside passed by in a blur of lights, but inside the car, everything felt still and comfortable. You held his hand the entire way, feeling the warmth and quiet reassurance of his touch.

When the car pulled up to your hotel, Ben quickly got out, making his way to your side to open the door. You stepped out, and this time, you didn’t let go of his hand. Instead, you turned to him, standing close in the cool night air.

“Thank you for tonight,” you whispered softly, looking up through your lashes.

Ben’s smile was gentle, his eyes warm as they met yours. “Anytime. Thank you for being here, with me.”

Your eyes crinkled as you smiled before you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek that lingered for a moment. His skin was warm, and you felt him inhale sharply at the unexpected touch. When you pulled back, your heart was racing, but you smiled up at him, feeling the lingering heat between you.

“Goodnight, Ben,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

His gaze lingered on you, and though he smiled, there was a quiet intensity in his eyes. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You gave his hand one last squeeze before letting go, making your way into the hotel with a soft smile on your lips. You glanced back one last time to see him leaning against his car, a playful wave and your lipstick still visible on his cheek. For once, you weren’t in full control, but somehow, that felt right.

In a world dominated by meticulous moves, it was these quiet moments that grounded you. Now, with someone like Ben by your side, every win, every loss, and every day on the court held more meaning.

Sometimes, the most important victories happened off the court.

[rambosgirl]

Hiii, could you write about logan x f! opera singer! reader??? And maybe make a moodboard🫶🫶🫶 thx for your works

Heck yea I gotcha babe <3 the first thing I thought of was Greatest Showman (duh) but then I also thought of Phantom of the Opera so uh... here it is, I hope you like it! Oh and I added some headcanons for you, if you want a full fic lmk

Masterlist

Headcanons

Storm, Jean, and Scott dragged him to a show of yours bc ya'll are old friends or something

He was a grump the entire time but when he heard you sing??

he was fascinated

and then they went backstage to see you??

girl he was head over heels. Forgot about Jean for the rest of time bc who is this

He would flirt like there was no tomorrow. And he'd give you pet names, his favorite being 'angel'

Despite your busy schedule and sporadic traveling, the two of you become friends. Whenever you were in town, Charles invited you to teach a few classes for students interested in music.

You loved teaching, so you always said yes. But after you finished, you and Logan would sneak off and hang out (Jean and Storm call them dates, and tease Logan about it whenever you're not around)

Logan loves listening to you practice. Your voice isn't just calming, it's fascinating. How do you hold out notes for that long? How do you reach those high notes and make them sound so rich? He doesn't know but he's here for it.

He goes to as many performances as he can, but he often struggles to fit in with the elegance of your world

The fancy opera house, galas, high-society events and people, it's not really his element. It's actually the opposite.

Not to mention the tux. DANG he looks good in it but you can tell he's wildly uncomfortable in it.

it's why he only goes to those events with you sometimes, but he does love to be with you backstage, supporting you within his comfort zone, which you are perfectly okay with.

He'll be there watching when you do your hair, perfect your makeup, and when you perform.

He also reminds you when you're not performing that you don't have to be perfect all the time, something that as an opera singer, you struggle with

You've known each other for months by the time he lets you hear his singing voice

It's a deep baritone voice, completely different from his speaking voice, but at the same time very similar

"You've got a voice that could sell out a theater. Ever think of putting the claws away to give musicals a try?"

He just let out a soft, playful scoff in response "You won't ever catch me singing on a stage"

"The circus it is then"

Insert the Logan eyebrow raise here

As your relationship grows, so does Logan's admiration for you.

sometimes when he sees you on stage in your white dress he imagines it's a wedding dress

Eventually, you tone down the performance side of your career and start staying at the mansion teaching more. You miss performing sometimes, but this means you can spend more time with your old friends, your students, and Logan.

Logan is a-okay with this he misses the white dress

but that's okay because he's planning a way for you to wear a white dress again :)))

[moniheartsluffy]

A DADDY’s GIRL

characters featured: crocodaddy, warlords, marines.

genre: fluff

notes: father!crocodile x daughter!reader, PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP, black!coded reader, crocodaddy and his baby girl🥹

grammar warning!! not rlly proofread…this been sitting in the drafts for a hot minute…

• mans love him some of his daughter.

• safe to say his world now revolves around you. he never thought he would want kids but when you popped out….oh he was bringing you everywhere.

• he thought the lady (your mother) was bullshittin when she said she was pregnant. he’s experienced many women trying to trap him before, so he just brushed it off wit a “yea ok”

• oh but when he saw that baby bumpppp. his whole mood changed. he started filling out paperwork to get full custody all ready😭 and ofc he won bc…it’s him. (pls. just work wimme here)

6yr old you waking up in an overly decent sized room due to the sun coming through your curtains and your TALL ASS father coming into the room. you’re trying to rub the sleep from your eyes as you sit up to look at him while he motions to pick you up.

“morning princess.” he says while placing a light kiss to your cheek. in response to his actions you simply place your head on his shoulder and allow yourself to be whisked away.

“still sleepy, hmm?” he says placing another kiss to the top of your head and watches as you nod, confirming his accusation.

now its a lot of things that crocodile has people do for him like his dirty work…but when it comes to you he allows them to do your hair, pick out outfits, feed you, etc. but he adores the simple things like getting you out of bed, tucking you in at night and other simple things that falls in between. other than that he leaves it to the maids he’s hired.

he takes you everywhere..and i mean everywhere. he has a meeting? he’s putting you in the cutest business outfit ever. the warlords are called together? he already got snacks and toys packed for you. anywhere this man is going he’s taking you and he doesn’t care about repercussions.

with that being said…a warlord meeting was called.

so..everyone walking in and taking their respective seats, meanwhile crocodile walking in with you in his arms and he’s late.

now we all know boa isn’t fond of men so as soon as crocodile puts you on the ground she’s swiping you away..immediately. she thinks he’s corrupting your mind or sum. but you cannot tell me boa would not love you. she’s turning you into the best feminist ever. (gotta start em off young!!) she even though about taking you to the kuja island… and never bringing you back. after a while, her and your dad start arguing so you go speak to some of the other warlords.

mihawk was just minding his business and wishing he had stayed home. you stumble over with a pack of fruit snacks, holding them out for him to take them. “you looked upset so here!” your tiny voice chirps up at him. he couldn’t bring himself to reject your offer, especially when you looked up at him with a determination to make him ‘feel better’. so he simply raised his eyebrow at you and took them while giving you this thanks and a smile that wasn’t too noticeable, but you saw it.

now…it’s two men in this entire room that you simply can’t express enough emotion for. doflamingo and gecko moria. now to be frank, you didn’t despise doffy like you did the other one but you weren’t exactly fond of him either. it’s like you tolerated him. he was kind to you but something about him just seemed off.

nevertheless your feet carried you to where doflamingo sat on a windowsill waiting for this excuse of a meeting to start. “hi doffy.” the pureness in your voice snapping him out of whatever unhinged things he was thinking about. “hello there little one. you look so adorable in your f/c dress.” he replied in a mellow tone. you muttered a small “thank you” before asking him about the whereabouts of kuma, at the last meeting he asked you what your favorite flower was and you finally had an answer for him but much to your dismay the blonde haired man had no idea. (not like he cares but hey)

ultimately choosing to ignore the presence of the other being in the room you swiftly made your way over to jinbe and had a short conversation with him regarding the sunflower drawing that adorned your dress, the fishman states how much he loved the design. after that ended you made your way back with your father and the warlord meeting began shortly after.

warlord meetings were always a pain but having you there always made it seem a little bit better for everyone—even the marines thought you were adorable although, they never showed it..except for garp. he’s a grandpa, ofc he’s gonna act like one towards a child. so every time the meeting truly starts garp takes you away and you two walk around the marineford gardens. he also takes you to sengoku’s office so you can see his goat and eat snacks while he annoys sengoku.

[wonyopout]

mawther pls share ur danjangz thoughts i need to feel like im not the only crazy person ever

DANJANGZZZZZZZZZZ ohmg thabk YEWW for asking this i have so many danjangz thoughts

equally needy, subby top wonyoung and twinky dom power bottom gel 🔛🔝 (i love twink gaeul she’s so real) that being said they both lean more towards switch and they’re both SOOOO loud omfg gaeul moans so loudly (probably screamed once or twice too) while wony pants like a dog and is So whiny i’m also a very firm believer in whipped loser wony + gaeul who can’t say no to her hehe. wonyoung is definitely bossy in like a teasing way with gaeul in public just bc she knows gel can’t threaten to tie her up, heheh wony mouthing off whenever she wants gel to get short with her n punish her a lil bit 😋😋 but like this is rare for wonyoung since she much prefers being obedient. also also gaeul with an unnie kinkkkkk like wony calls her unnie no matter the situation but she says it different when they’re alone,, sometimes using that same voice in public just to fuck with gaeul bc she’s knows she’s the only one that’ll pick up on it

also gaeul is soo sensitive to touch in my mind like jumping a bit when wony touches her skin unexpectedly,, feeling her mind get hazy as wonyoung draws feather light circles on her skin with her fingers,, hypersensitive gaeul + oral fixation wonyoung A MATCH MADE IN HEAVENNNN, gaeul already kicking and trying to push wonyoungs head from between her legs after just one orgasm, knowing full well wony isn’t letting up anytime soon 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 also SOMNO yea.. Yea

also also Also can we all take a moment and consider undergrad wonyoung and phd student gaeul 200k slowburn dark academia/the secret history au WOAHHH (why am i actually considering writing this..) can we consider the power play, wony infatuated with gel.. obsessed even. PERV WONY- [TRAIN PASSES BY] and gaeul mainly just sees wonyoung as her play thing, going to her when she wants her attention and to mess with her (she secretly thinks she’s the cutest thing ever and wants to do crazy things to her cervix 🤭🤭) but b4 gaeul can even do anything wony snaps and fucks her in an empty classroom,, this is getting into dubcon area oops but wonyoung pushing gel face down against a desk before forcing her hand down her pants 🥴 gaeul fighting back so pathetically, telling wonyoung to let her go and she won’t say anything. tears in her eyes as she tries to hold back her moans and not rut against wonys hand..

[pumpkinsy0]

im a sucker for pony and curly living together head cannons 🙏🏾

i have a camera pointed at their place rn, of course🙌🏽

•pony either has a record player or curly has a shitty radio but either way theres always music playing, they both grew up in noisy homes so not having that makes it feel empty, even w the other around!! its comforting

•if they have nowhere to b, they stay in bed till like 3pm, they dont even got like a tv in their room or nothin, they just like laying w each other

•they eat each others leftover and it annoys them so badddddd, imagine u come back from work and yo partner it yo food, i dont blame em id b so heated

•iiii personally hc them moving to nyc, and thats like the EXACT opposite of where pony dreamed of being, and hes always told curly he doesnt mind that

•they ABSOLUTELY get a pet, idc WHAT u say, should they have a pet???? no, bc the place they have is rented and doesnt allow em, but what the landlord doesnt know wont hurt em so shhhh

•curly jokes that pony looks as stressed out as darry when hes trying to pay rent/the bills, pony just says he understands y darry was so uptight all the time

•they both leave lil notes around the place for each other, wether its shitty words of encouragement or reminders, everyday theres a sticky note somewhere, the sticky notes industry would b NOTHING without these two

•first few weeks they moved in, to tim and darry it was like they never left, they kept calling asking “hey can i ___” and it was partially bc they were actually clueless but also bc they missed their family and wanted a reason to call em while still coming off as not too clingy

•if u thought the neighbors were free from seeing pony and curly being degenerates, u were wrong, sometimes pony and curly make out before they head inside and the poor poor neighbor is just trying to leave their house

•it took them nearly a YEAR to fully unpack all their stuff, not bc they had a lot of things, but bc they were lazy and bc they argued over where certain things should go, like fruits in the fridge,,,,or outside in a bowl,,,,

•they dont have many pictures in their home, posters, drawings, n such however??? yea

•i remember i had an idea that the shepards used to live in nyc (a lot if haitians were moving there in the 60s and it just made sense w their lore) so i think it would b sweet if pony and curly moved to a place near where curly used to live and hes just having fun showing pony around but a few things have changed so they’re in it together!!

•they both dont make breakfast, they bought a box of granola bars and drink coffee and GO!! making breakfast is only for special occassions

•there was a point in time where it was rlly mainly curly who was paying everything bc he had a full time job while pony only worked part time, so when they argued curly alllwaaayyyss said it was “his house”🙄🙄

[himejoshiangels]

batgirl 2000 reread bcs I'm crazyy...IM NUTS!!!

her and that damned rose..what does it all MEAN!!! it makes a reappearance l8r...also I missed this dynamic so so bad. me when I'm in a seeing my kids as an extension of myself competition and my opponent is Bruce Wayne

I always forget how fucking potent and tension filled the first arc of this comic is man. it's like, bcs cass can't speak or even have thought bubbles everything's communicated via her actions or the words of the ppl around her. every panel she's in has to be chock-full of emotion and every time she interacted with someone the implications and the ffUCKKKKK‼️

the atmosphere in this damn comic man

I dunno man not to "back in my day!" when it wasn't even my day. but comics these days don't trust the audience even a little. there's always gotta be paragraphs of text having a character explicitly state every detail of their motivation and like not that old comics didn't also do that but at least the words they wrote were pretty like fuck man who are they hiring to write this shit anymorw

this transition is straight out of a movie. I know we say this with literally everything but if ANY comic in the world should get an animated show it has to be this one. top contender. it's formulated like one already, it's episodic w perfect overall themes and bigger plots. even the vibe is perfect, the grainy mtv cartoon thing it has going. every day I pray for a batgirl 2000 cartoon it'd go so crazy jsut adapt the shit straight

batgirl 2000 just keeps hitting you and doesn't let up bcs in the same episode SORRY issue..where cass meets lady Shiva for the first time is also the same issue where babs first begins to address her as Cassandra

^^WHICH IS CRAZY bcs we have to keep in mind that up to this point cass is nameless, she's only been referred to as batgirl. this is one of the first times she goes out as not batgirl too tho, bcs Bruce benched her. it's GAHHHHH that whole thing where vigilantes angst and drama abt titles and legacies and their individual identities is exacerbated so so bad for cass bcs batgirl is the first name she's ever given. like it's all she ever knew and ever was. Cassandra came after and THIS

THIS PANEL RUGHT HERE ohhh my god it makes me crazy. she's only batgirl. she doesn't even have the words to explain it yet. she's only a reflection of the city she's sworn to protect its all she is and at first its lowkey all Bruce let's her be. not to mention. her relationship w babs, I'll speak on them l8r can't do it now I'll explode

a 1:1 animated series man. it's all I can think about so so many iconic moments. I don't kill but I don't lose either is already as cold as cold gets. the way the comic is formatted already fully visualizes as animated in my brain and it's so so fun to watch

LIKE LOOK AT THIS!! cinematic as he'll and it's not even moving..

both cass and Bruce hit the bullseye like....

Cass's perfectionism is such an underrated character trait of hers (in like the greater batfam fandom and more modern comics not here, never here) bcs she literally sacrifices her life about it. she's so self detrimental about how not perfect she is anymore and Bruce's nonsense doesn't help either. man sees himself reflected in a teenage girl once and looses all his damn sense. I'm just, yea we know "mediocre for a life time or perfect for a year" < god that goes hard, but the true tragedy that is cass's inability to see how unnatural and upsetting it is that her mind works the way it does at all, that she can run into bullets head on but complains that she could do it with more skill when she was 6 or whatever like girl...never evr letting myself become desensitized to her trauma, David cain when I get you...

AND ANOTHER THING AND ANOTHER THING!!! KKKKKKKKK!! the sideplots and b plots and background characters in this comic..each of them are offered so much empathy by the narrative and are written purposefully to reflect or foil whatever cass's current conflic is all while feeling like fully fleshed characters even if they only appear for one issue

^^ I have feeling abt these panels but my lawyers are advising me not to speak atvthis ttime

THFUCKINH THE ROSE!!AGAIN!!! so sure this is old news but my running theory is that it definitely ties into cass's sense of self and identity outside of her living weapon status. this whole issue is prime babs v. bruce custody battle material bcs babs wants cass to be able to have a normal life, to be someone outside of batgirl bcs where she is now isn't healthy even a little bit but bruce argues that cass doesn’t need that, all she needs is her devotion to the mission < now we don't have time to unpack all that but in this moment we see her make the choice, dropping the rose. in the very first panel of the whole comic cass does the very same thing, she drops the puzzle (representing her childhood) in favor of violence bcs at the time its all she knows THE PARALLELS HELP HELP MEEE

AND AND THIS NEXT WHOLE PANEL is so evocative of the first few issues where cass couldnt yet put her emotions into words. just atmosphere and silence. BECAUSE she's confused!!! bruce says justice is what she needs that it will make her feel better, feel normal but it doesn't!! she looks over the city and still feels..feeling!!!! she picks the rose back up and extends a hand out to barbara bcs she was right, she not Bruce, she can't sit in a cave all alone all day and feel better (<which arguably doesn't even work for him either)

in the next few issues she meets steph and tim which is soo fun bcs letting cass have friends her age opens up so much for potential dynamics. especially her relationship w steph, not just in a stephcass way but in a narrative foil way, to me at least

next post I'll probably talk abt cass's guilt, self hatred, and need for atonement but we move‼️

[urbestestwindgod]

epic the musical sagas 1-7 song rating tw i have bad taste

1. keep your friends close—this shouldnt be a shocker this was the song that after knowing abt epic but noy having tiktok at the time to be able to see its progress n stuff i didnt know much abt it n listening to the songs out of order was confusing but the moment i hesrd this enchanting melody i was a fan fan downloading tiktok just for the updates from jorge this has been my unbeatable favorite for a while im rlly annoying abt it as we know

2. open arms—the first released song i heard that introduced me to epic and again not knowing much abt it or how to listen to it in order in the early days (fun fact my intelligence peaked in algebra and ive never been that smart abt anything else ever) seeing ppl talk abt polities not knowing he died was kinda scary like wdym this cutie goes to “the wrong club”?? :(

3. suffering—its fun n ody gets to talk to his wife what do u want from me

4. scylla—AHHHHHHHHHH i fold over and seize every time those strings start after the “hello”

5. ruthlessness—like the idea of poseidon man handling him what can i say WHAT DO YOU W A N T from meee

6. wouldnt you like—i would i would

7. remember them—hes so dumb i lovw him

8. lucky runs out—if iii wasnt overstimulated rn i could gather my thoughts and explain this but unfortunately i am a student

9. storm—this and luck runs out are twins in my head and heart

10. polyphemus—THATS MY CYCLOPS!!! HELL YEA!!!

11. legendary—very good, love how telemachus sings like an adolescent love his dreams and love him unfortunately it IS in the same saga as….her

12. little wolf—I THOUGHT WE WOULD ALL AHIP HIM AND ANTINOUS AFTER THIS AONG BC THERES TENSION GUYS I SWEAR WDYM ITS CONTROVERSIAL :(

13. no longer you—if i could dance i would dance to this, with air probably but still

14. full speed ahead—need this song spoonfed to me while i bang on the table like a toddler in a highchair

15. the horse and the infant—NEOPTOLEMUS MENTIONED??? AHHH!!!!

16. different beast—lovely lovely lovely his voice is so

17. survive—oooo uhhhh

18. mutiny—it shocks me every time somehow

19. monster—should be higher but i forgor abt it srry—yeayea great song kick my feet to it wvery tim

20. warrior of the mind—greek son and thought daughter (was funnier in my head)

21. my goodbye—she leaved :(

22. puppeteer—if circe (odyssey) didnt plague my view of circe (epic) i would like her songs more sorry guys

23. done for—is it baaaaadddd that i dont have many thoughts on this :(

24.there are other ways—IM SURE THERE ARE CIRCE IM SURE THERE ARE

25. thunder bringer—again this was meant to be higher but i was gonna put it somewhere special and forgor :(

26. the underworld—oh ouch ouch ouch ouchie ouch

27. god games—THE SNIPPET OF THIS WAS THE FIRST EPIC SONG I EVER HEARD AND KICKSTARTED A GREEK MYTHOLOGY PHASE THAT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER FORGIVE JORGE FOR. apollos part was so short tho 😔 sigh…

28. just a man—I LIKE IT I JUST NEVER REMEMBER IT AGHHHHH I LOVE IT THO I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR

29. we’ll be fine—OMFGOMFGOMFG unfortunately it is right before….yeaaaa

30. love in paradise—OH EWEWEWEWEWEW i would like this a lot more if people didnt act like calypso deserved to feel happiness or joy or pleasure or even life? idn where this unbridled hatred for her comes from i dont feel this way about way worse characters BUT I WANT EVERY DEATH IN THE ILIAD DONE TO CALYPSO FIVE TIMES EACH CALYPSO WHEN I CATCH UR ASS—its not even about odysseus anymore ody get in the car mama has business to attend to WHEN IM NOT SORRY FOR LOVING U COMES OUT I WILL SHAKE MY HEAD IN DISAPPOINTMENT AND and gently and discreetly remove it from my epic playlist :3 i block everyone i see who talks positively about her genuinely she ruins my day. i know shes not real but still the concept of her makes me physically shake in anger sometimes in the middle of my perfectly normal day SHE SUCKS I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH dont ask me why i dont know why but just just put me in a room with her and every weapon ever ever made that would be wish fulfillment for me

saga rating is ocean, thunder, cyclops, troy, underworld, circe, wisdom (and depending on how im not sorry for loving u goes justr know vengeance is going in eighth)

anyways uhm im a little manic this week but i hope i didnt make u hate me TOO much with this i am aware that my taste in everything is bad my favorite food is plain butterless angel hair noodles ans my favorite drink is water, my favorite color is green, my favorite animal is probably frogs bc most animals give me the heebie jeebies, and my favorite book is frankenstein thanks for being here i love u :3

[starheirxero]

I don't usually talk about the mgafs, but like-

Bloodmoon has a bomb in their head now- First Lunar, then Eclipse, and now Bloodmoon…it really went full circle- The parallels continue to drive me insane/pos-

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK, DID THE CREATOR KILL A BUNCH OF KIDS?? WHERE DID ANDREW AND JAKE COME FROM??? ARE THEY HIS SONS??👀 ARE THEY JUST TWO RANDOM CHILDREN???

The Laes episode was also just-

Jesus, Sun really needs this! He sounds so tired, so unsure… He has been through everything, and just when he thought, they got through the worst of it, shits hitting the fan so damn fast, he isn't able to process it!

He seems to become rather numb to it. I have seen someone point out, that it could be survivor's guilt, which does make sense. He has seen so much death, both before, and after the separation, and now it's involving people he cares for.

Lunar died, someone who moved out, after Sun yelled at them, likely leading him to blaming himself. Old Moon passed, something he has blamed himself for, I'm pretty sure.

And now it's Solar. This time, Sun simply took the time to relax, to move into the background and leave things be, which now makes him feel as though he didn't do enough, didn't help enough, when in reality, he shouldn't have to. It has just become such a norm to stay on guard for them all, that it feels wrong to take a breather!

I can imagine there being guilt, after living through so many deaths, and being the last one standing. Beside Earth, of course!

There might also be guilt, for not grieving as much as the rest of them🤔 He wasn't as close to Solar, and while he did care, and does grieve, he feels as though he's not feeling enough. Sun has grown so damn weary, he's just kinda going through the motions.

Everyone in this family needs a big vacation, and a lifelong break!

-Stardust

I KNOWWW the way I immediately went !!! at Bloodmoon getting planted w/ a bomb in the same fashion as Lunar n Eclipse. I am UNWELL.

AND THE WHOLE DEAL WITH THE STITCHWRAITH YEA OMG. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!!!! I think any possible option here is just varying levels of "oh right the Creator is a wretched little man" LMAO 😭

AND SUN AOUGH YEA :( I noticed that he sounded kinda distant too and I was just like aoaughhh... poor boy. It absolutely reads as survivors guilt and that honestly just breaks my heart. I feel like a lotta people worry that Sun has yet to be effected by the celestial family curse, but honestly it makes just as much sense if it never hits him and he's just left with the weight of years on his back, yk???

AND YEA oms I didn't even think about the fact he'd feel bad for taking a step bacl bc he's so used to helping however he could with the Current Events. But now he's just chilling and it feels like he's not being "useful enough" :((( UGH that's so sad. I am SO seconding the vacation and lifelong break </3

[nathank77]

10/24/24

3:22 p.m Added to bc I'm Ranting at 4 p.m

I really hate my mother's social worker. She comes in, and she knows all about my ocd and I can't touch the dog. And all that. And she gives me this look like I'm the shit on her sneakers.

Like you're perfectly able bodied just get over your shit and cope with your ocd and let your mother keep the dog and be the primary care taker. Bitch I tried to be the primary caretaker of Riley. I tried so fucking hard, I had panic attacks. My ocd got so much worse. My anxiety is through the roof and my autoimmune disorder reactivated!! I was so stressed I almost went full blown hyper after getting blood drawn for months and having normal levels and the only change was the fucking dog stressing me out bc I can't cope with my Contamination ocd.

I had to stop taking care of her so I don't have my eyes legit pop out of my head due to graves eye disease. So that I don't go full blown hyper. My fucking heart rate is still almost 100 and over sometimes despite the beta blocker bc it could take me months to go back to fully normal. And that's if I'm lucky and I don't push to full blown hyper.

The first time she was here, I forgot what she said to me but she was downplaying my ocd, oh why can't he do that? Why can't he touch that?

And this time, she said, "why can't you touch the dog? Bc of your anxiety?" And I said, "yup, I have ocd." And she said, "well my daughters friend is on medication that take all her intrusive thoughts away maybe you can try that, they help people." And I said, "umm nope, antidepressants are like throwing darts at a peg board, I have a master degree in neuroscience and I studied them and I'm never going to take one bc of what I've learned about them on a molecular level. I respect anyone who choses to take them but they aren't for me." Then she said, "well my daughters friends is a teacher and leads a fulfilling great life and she used to have such bad intrusive thoughts." And I said, "I'm glad they work for her but I'm not interested, as I said before they are like darts on a peg board, we don't fully understand the brain and I'm not willing to take them." She then said, "I guess we will have to agree to disagree." Ummm yea bitch.

Antidepressants aren't a Bandaid despite the psycho pharmaceutical industry prescribing them like Bandaids to almost every person with a mental illness. It's too bad benzodiazepines have tolerance issues as yea popping a valium if I'm afraid of something I touched would for a while make all my worries go away. They act on gaba. They increase gaba which makes you calm down.

Antidepressants work on serotonin and norepinephrine.... not gaba. And anxiety disorders are not depression. I hate how antidepressants are a Bandaid for psychology. I fucking hate it.

Anxiety and depression are fundamentally different on a molecular level. I get why they don't give people with ocd or anxiety disorders benzodiazepines for regular use bc of tolerance and lethality..... but antidepressants do not work on the same receptors. It doesn't make sense to take an antidepressants if you arent depressed.

Anyways after while I was cooking using my sleeves to exist, the lady said to my mom, "why doesn't he just wear gloves?" She said something about my thyriod and how I was already doing that but my anxiety was too high.

Even if I decided my graves disease wasn't important enough to put me first, THE DOG WILL NEVER BE HAPPY HERE. WE CANNOT TAKE HER TO THE VET. SHE HAS EATEN SO MANY THINGS THAT SHE COULD DIE FROM AND WE CANT DO ANYTHING.

My health is important. And even if I didn't have ocd and graves disease that got exacerbated from my Contamination ocd and the dog, I wouldn't help, why?

THE SWEET ADORABLE DOG DESERVES A BETTER HOME. SHE DESERVES A YARD. SHE DESERVES SOMEONE WHO CAN PET HER WITHOUT GLOVES. SHE DESERVES TO GO TO THE VET. SHE DESERVES ALL THE THINGS WE CANT GIVE HER.

The saddest thing is, she looks at me and then looks at my hands to see if my gloves are on and if they are her tail wags. She deserves better than that bc I don't always pet her when they are on bc I can't.

Either way her social worker clearly sees a able bodied lazy pos who should just put a Bandaid on a 12 inch open wound and pretend it fixed the problem..

I can't wait until she stops coming. You have no idea if you saw how she looks at me. I'm fucking scum to her.

She has no concept of how crippling ocd is. There is a reason ocd is on the state disability list. Trust me my brain is always on alert looking for something that might kill or harm me trying to protect me.

People don't understand. Ocd is fucking crippling. And antidepressants do not work on the right molecular pathways inwhich are corrupted or abnormal in ocd and anxiety disorders.

Antidepressants should only be percribed for DEPRESSION.

Also think antipsychotics and the dopamine theory of schizophrenia. It is the most supported hypothesis of schizophrenia. Yet there are other neurotransmitters at play. Gaba, glutemate, etc. You give someone like me who hallucinates an antipsychotics and the voice and hallucinations do not go away!!! Why??? Bc even more specialized medications such as antipsychotics are a darts on a peg board. We do not understand the brain. We don't understand schizophrenia. We don't understand any of it. All of the brain is fucked up and targeting one neurotransmitter or a few when you hardly understand how the brain works isn't always going to help. Antipsychotics are a prime example of that!! They are more specialized and given for a specific reason. The side effect profile is disgusting...... but antidepressants are a Bandaid for the entire psycho pharmaceutical industry.

Benzodiazepines are also like throwing darts at a peg board but they actually have medical uses that they are profoundly effective for. For example, Insomnia. They fucking work. Let's get even more into it, seizures, muscle cramps and spasms. Benzodiazepines work for that too. But then again there is TOLERANCE.

Like Adderall we over diagnosis kids with ADHD for acting like kids and the psycho pharmaceutical industry makes billions off of Adderall and Ritalin prescriptions bc every year every kid who acts like a kid if their parents can't cope with the hyperactivity due to being forced to sit in a chair for 8 hours a day at school the easiest thing to do is give them Adderall. Then they sit and focus and we change their brain chemistry forever and beyond that adhd isn't fucking real not in kids. Diagnosis should only happen in 18 plus... if you are hyper and fucking can't focus at 18 then maybe you have bipolar. But let's call it adhd. I don't believe in it.

Adderall is a dart at a peg board too. Not all meds are.... antibiotics for an example. We understand this virus can be eradicated with this pill if you take it for 7 days twice a day.

Not all meds are bandaids or fucking darts at peg boards... but I hate to say it we do not understand the brain. We are "medicating" something we hardly understand.

Also here is Riley eating a wire when she was in the crate.... this is why even if I didn't have Graves and ocd... I wouldn't lift a finger. I want her in a SAFE HOUSE. We can't take her to the vet.... she got this when I wasn't watching her. So fuck off social worker. Even if I wasn't ill, I'm not helping my mother keep this poor innocent dog, this is not a safe environment for her!

[b0mblover]

j rants abt dead loptson as usual because he cannot be bothered to keep the thoughts to himself

ok so FIRST OF ALL

i think im gonna start just calling this ‘loptson hawaii: part ii’ BECAUSE ITS ESSENTIALLY WHAT IM MAKINGGG 😭😭

second of all, funny thing, im /planning/ on drawing lopt playing piano and mason playing violin because in hawaii part ii its the instruments i noticed specifically (i swear it makes sense) but uh.

brain rot j made a fucking omori joke and now i cannot get it out of my head 😭

the only difference is that mason is getting killed but doesnt play piano (oh ig omori spoilers but its 2024. even if you havent played it you probably already know)

uggrbfnd fuck im not even kidding i swear. those maps i made im using for this project J PLEASE QUIT DOING THIS TO ME WHY DO YOU HATE ME. THIS IS SUCH A BG ASS PROJECT. YOU CANT EVEN PROPERLY FINISH A SMALL WRITING THING. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THIS SHIT (talking ti myself somewheee thats not main sorry)

im sorry but uh. look. unironically, guchiry characters playing instruments have been actually rotting my mind for literally years 😭 trust me i dont even know how i dont have a list. i just associate them in my mind and remember it.

CHOKES sorry yeesh!

i actually made three maps but uh, i think only one will get used in this project (if i ever finish it that is) bc i havent even named the other two! i might just use them for idk. aesthetics in my room or smth idk.

jesus i have so many ideas i need to quit this is excalty how burn out happens but i cant help itttt

hggvfddnsn i the brainrot so much

currently (like as im writing this) im working on i uh- drawing smth rather reveling(?) like uh. it isnt -sexual- in like the slighest but is???? idk look. i really need to practice/actual/ anatomy 😭😭 it sucks bc like. man its akward as hell bc im essentially drawing lopt with no clothes on but i feel like i kinda gotta??

(i really wanna have smth to laugh at when i get older alr)

ANYWAYS the point was that i cant figure out if i should render it or just leave it at line art.

christ im rambling again fuck.

back to the topic (yes im leaving that in)

i should absolutely end masons life in the most guresome and blood curdling way possible! 😍🥰 /j

but srsly. maritime forest. you are having BLOOD on your trees 🥰 (look it up. that isnt the /name/ of it its just a descriptor)

man. these names are kinda. weird ish tho.

aphelion, periciel, vacant beach 3- (last is a joke)

ahhbrbdns but srsly naming this shit is hardddd bc following real world naming (at least acordding to google) is such a pain, like uh, (from what i remember) it usually is either a feature of the place, named after someone, and a third thing that i cannot remember rn.

(funfact, im 99% sure periciel isnt a real word! peri acordding to google means about and ciel means sky in french apparently, yea. about sky. aphelion((heres the google def bc im not explaing this))

“the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is furthest from the sun."

(SO! uh yea. if you were wondering how i came up with the names ig. oh yea funny thing. the thing about periciel. i actually looked up peri bc in puyo puyo tetris 2 (im being dead srs rn i wish i was kidding) in a call out line schezo says “parry” but i thought it was “peri” so yada yada boom. this shit is unnecessary complicated but uh. thats my entire existence! so)

man i have SO much to do. i think im gonna attempt to draw bread sheeran. well actually scratch that. i have a week to do that, i was working on uh. nonsexual lopt before i went outside and got brainrotted to death, so ill probably work on that, or start the other drawing (i really REALLY wanna draw mason playing violin. i actually dont even know that in white ball violin is the main instrument. i just think it is 😭😭) hggggbbhh well! im gonna go suffer now. thanks to like the 2 ppl that read this in full. im sorry for your eyes!

[produce101blog]

Episode 4 Thoughts

hype boy 2:

does hype boy not have a JP version??

lee being personally offended that their korean is so bad... LMAO

big brain move to change the dance up to fit their skills

i love aiko (she's in my top 11) so it was nice for her to get 5 seconds of screen time being praised

hype boy 1:

rinon is also one of my faves yay

rino (judge) is growing on me, she actually seems to give a shit about the feelings the girls have

kokona!! she is 100% capable poor girl! and she ended up doing great

fiesta 1:

who tf put this group together again?? it's all dancers and no singers lmao

they REALLY needed a singer to hold down the fort with the main vocals and help them, like they even had to pull in tsuzumi...

god the rehersal awful to listen to, you can't have a group full of sayus

they kind got it together for the performance a little thank god

fiesta 2:

dumb name lol

sry but rimika is so annoying lol. it shouldn't take them having to sit down and have a come to jesus talk with her to get her to speak up and stop being passive aggressive and leaving practice and etc. tbh jueri didn't even do anything wrong, she was just doing what she thought she should as a leader and rimika was throwing a fit for ?? no reason???

cheer up 1:

this was my favorite performance out of the entire set just because of their cohesiveness, so i'm glad to hear that karen was specifically thinking about that and even tried to pick the song based on that

so many communication issues lmao no one is making efforts to make the others feel like they can speak freely

i'd follow this group if they debuted like this lmao they kind of remind me of very early s/mileage vocally

cheer up 2:

cheer up 1 was smart to pick this specific group to do this song lol bc it doesn't fit them at all, but they have to be versatile as an idol imo anyway cuz they aren't going to always get "cool" songs

aruha and moro do the best with the kawaii concept in my opinion, but everyone is doing their best with it despite not really having experience lol

moro still gives me sayu energy but she can actually sing so that's good

sakura pulling the entire team LMAO

tokyo girl 1:

both groups have really cute outfits

opposite problem of fiesta 1 LMAO they should have shuffled it up a little better

i understand her feelings but i find mana to be very annoying lol

strawberry head

i personally would feel defeated too if i had to go up against group 2

wow a world of difference between practice 1 and 2 with yumeki

everyone keeps saying "this is your last chance!!!" yea no shit they were anxious in their performance

tokyo girl 2:

not interested in the ran/miu rivalry so not really much to say here

kassa was cute as usual

ranka did a good job and doesn't belong in F anymore imo

i love that "hai iku" became AMERICA lmao

i think kassa took the feedback and did her best to convey emotion and succeeded

even before the results were announced i was like "poor group 1"

the biggest win yet poor group 1

body and soul 2:

these girls need to learn their ancestors lol SPEED walked so they could run

miu is so KY lmao she needs to learn the japanese way of communication

her practicing a lot in korea makes sense as to how she performs now

is rino a dance judge or a therapist lol

nano is so funny, falling asleep during a discussion

then nano being so cute in her interview about being praised, i love her lol

i can never read yumeki's expressions, he can look like someone just farted in his mouth and then say "that was the best performance i've ever seen in my life"

tbh i forget that suzu is only 16 too

two cute kassa reactions during perf

hot take but i don't think they were the best group by just watching the performances back to back. i think produce101 really wants you to believe that they are tho. but tsuzumi and suzu definitely killed it

i think this is the only group where every single member lost to the other group... it makes me want to support body and soul 1 members lol

tsuzumi is so cute aww and so humble

group ranking/after:

b&s 2 didn't really need extra votes but there were a few lower girls in there so i'm happy for them

wow low miu ranking lol she can't catch a break

the spoilers after episode 5 with the eliminations are going to be baaad

kaela being like "you can't show flaws" lol do you not even know what idols are about??? that's kind of the whole fuckin point lady

the hidden camera thing is a great idea to appeal to the audience as an idol even if it's hidden lmao

the MTBI little thing was cute

this episode made me fall in love with nano lol with her letter and her falling asleep

[sammydem0n64]

Love super specific vocal related headcanons for ocs. I will list some of them off the top of my head bc its so fun

-Melphis always speaks incredibly slowly. Even when I’m not writing him with 1000 ellipsis between every five words, he still speaks slow and precise. Everytime he opens his mouth you can see in his eyes that he’s trying to formulate his thoughts, say the right thing, hence why he takes his time. He’s also just generally not used to talking for long periods of time, so it takes extra long for him to formulate his sentences, even when he’s not in a bad mood and knows exactly what to say. He only quickens the pace of his speech when he’s PISSED!!

-Sukir’s whole way of speaking is in the form of tangents. Its common for him to drop a whole essay full of “um”s and “like”s and “uhs” and “yeahs” when the thing he needed to say was meant to be a mere sentence. Unless he’s thinking really hard and catches himself, he just talks a whole lot of nonsense

-Peppark speaks completely monotone; she gets straight to the point and her words never hold any definable emotion. Even with Chocip and her parents (her favorite people) she doesn’t show any inflection

-Nazareth’s tone nearly always seems to be the opposite of what her words truly mean. For example, if she compliments someone, you could easily think she’s being sarcastic or secretly bitchy, and on the other side of the coin if she’s being bitchy she conveys this in a tone that makes it seem like she’s joking. This just makes her even more mysterious and vague imo, since to many it’s impossible to tell her ideals due to her inconsitancy

-Bianca has a vocal stim that I can only describe as, like, a chirp. Whenever I run around my room (neurodivergent zoomies) sometimes I make a chirp sound that I’m unable to recreate outside of these circumstances, and since it happens at random for only a split second I can’t fully describe the sound! The same happens with Bianca

-Despite most of my ocs’ voice claims being singers, most of them can’t sing lol, but hey if they really tried to then I think they’ll do great by merit of their voice claims!

-Zeo’s cadenece and vocabulary relies on unprofessionalism. He’s always using terms like “ya” instead of you and congegates as many words as possible, all while keeping profanities. Even in more serious scenarios he keeps this tone of voice, which is off putting to some because you can’t really tell someone that their husband died in a gang shootout like “Ya husband got fuckin’ murked. Yea he’s fucking dead. Got his brains blown out, crazy huh? Yea if only he didn’t get his shit rocked but anywayyssssss buh-bye miss-”

[zhuhongs]

i am so painfully american in so many ways that I never even realized,,, like the Pain. Today I went out with my friends mom who doesn’t speak any english and oh my god was I a deer in the headlights all day. I feel soooo bad, also like she refused to let me pay for anything and gave me sooo much food and drove me around all day. I really don’t know how to thank her enough. I tried to give her a gift and she returned it to me without me even noticing... oh my god. ms. huang.. rlly.... TT thank u also I’m so sorry i’m so painfully timid and awkward