#bc yes we were there but it was criminalized and shamed to the point where not much remains for fear of being persecuted

[hecksee]

im learning i have an intense fondness for historical gays. modern gays are good, but theres just Something about historical queers that hit my brain. bonus points if they're from the 17th-19th century.

[epic-sorcerer]

Merlin would have been so much more gay if the writers stayed true to Celtic paganism(the historicaly accurate “old religion”)

Trigger warnings:

Main triggers: talk of sex, homophobia, religion, Catholics, colonization, anti Celtic, murder

Mention triggers: rape and sexual assault, creepy men, gore, insest, toxic masculinity

I will mark the sections with quick triggers with 2 red lines. Below the second one is when the trigger is gone.

_____________

I am posting this on December 21st, as today is the Winter Solstice, a Celtic Pagan holiday. It will be posted at 3:33 PM, as 3 is a sacred number among the celts. Because of the special occasion, I will be speaking on a subject that was important to many of them—homosexuality.

Some stuff first for introductions. Yes, yes, I know this may be boring but it helps with context. This religion didn’t have a name other than Celtic pagan or Celtic religion bc it seams everyone there believed it. This was until the Roman Empire concurred what is now the UK. Since Rome had adopted Christianity—more specifically, Roman Catholocism—they only allowed that religion to be practiced.

———(genocide)——

Once England was concurred in 43 A.D, the pagans were killed and their religion was surpressed. Not much is known about the pagans for this reason. However, we do know somethings from what the Romans have written down. Although, it is biased, as they believed the celts to be barbaric and also didn’t wright much about women.

——gore ——

First, we know they preformed human sacrifice on kings when the kingdom suffered along with some other groups.This could be from bad ruling to really bad weather. These kings died horribly, as they seamed to be stabbed multiple times, had thier nipples cut off, and left to die in a bog.

They had thier nipples cut off because the subjects would suck on the kings’ nipples to demonstrate submission, so cutting them off would fully dethrone the king.

—————

Now, background over. Here’s where it gets good.

Nipple sucking between too lovers or ‘special friends’ was seen as a preclemation of love, physical intimacy, and sexual expression. This, like other types of sex, was seen as something beutiful and sacred. Often, male soldiers would have these ‘special friend’ relationships with many fellow soldiers in groups. The Romans even observed that Celtic men seamed to prefer other males for love/sexual interest over women.

Nipple sucking was mostly described was between two men. Although, we must recognize that women may have been left out of written history. I would also like to point out, this may prove that aromantic people existed in that time, as these ‘special friends’ had sex and were not mentioned to be romantically involved.

The celts were known for their sex positivity and even eroticism because they loved it so much.This is one of the reasons why the pagans and the Chatholics clashed so badly.

Before the Romans really took over, Saint Patrick—yes, the Saint Patrick—started to try to convert the celts into Roman catholosim. He was appalled at the wide acceptance of polyamory(women were aloud to marry however many people they wanted) and homosexual relationships/marriages. Not to mention the celts could have sex with any one at any time as long as it is consensual.

——(Tw creepy men)——

That means no waiting til marriage, unless a Celtic chose to do so. Although we should take into consideration a statement made by Diodorus Siculus, an antient Greek historian, that “the young men will offer themselves to strangers and are insulted if the offer is refused.” In his series Bibliotheca historica. This could mean that either creepy men were comman place, or that homosexuality was so comman and done with everyone, it was wierd to be rejected.

————

Getting back to the Roman Catholics, the book Sextus Empiricus is published in the early 3th century and states,

“...amongst the Persians it is the habit to indulge in intercourse with males, but amongst the Romans it is forbidden by law to do so...”

It also goes on to say,

“...amongst us sodomy is regarded as shameful or rather illegal, but by the Germanic they say, it is not looked on as shameful but as a customary thing.”

For clarification, Germany is apart of Celtic society. So what we can infer is a very serious culture shock in terms of Rome and other places. During Emporor Serverus Alexander’s reign, openly homosexuals were deported.

In early 4th century, Emporor Constaine—the first Christian Roman Emperor—destroyed an Egyptian temple populated exclusively by femme, gay, pagan, priests. The Emproror then went on to eradicate all of them. However in 337 A.D., 3 emperors ruled, including Constantius II and Constans I, who where both in mlm relationships.

An odd thing these emporors went on to do was criminalize male bottoming during mlw sex 342 A.D.. 8 years later, Emperors Valentinian II, Theodosius I, and Arcadius ferther punished this act by killing these men by Public burning at the stake.

———(Tw toxic masculinity)———

I believe this was because masculinity was very important and a man acting in a more feminine role was seen as emasculating and humiliating. For the average man, he had to fight and defend his masculinity. Not doing so was seen as a personal failure.

——————

The last ever known peice of European literature containing a positive representation of homosexuality for 1,000 years was a large epic poem by Nonnus of Panopolis. It was titled Dionysiaca and the first part was published in 390 A.D., the last in 405 A.D..

So yeah, The catholics were very selective in terms of sex. One can only imagine how badly the celts and Catholics clashed. Back to 435 A. D., Saint Patrick began to preach Catholism and around that time wrote in his Confessio. He recounted that he found a boat to get out of Ireland and refused to suck on the nipples of those aboard.

“And on the same day that I arrived, the ship was setting out from the place, and I said that I had the wherewithal to sail with them; and the steersman was displeased and replied in anger, sharply: ‘By no means attempt to go with us.’ Hearing this I left them to go to the hut where I was staying, and on the way I began to pray, and before the prayer was finished I heard one of them shouting loudly after me: ‘Come quickly because the men are calling you.’ And immediately I went back to them and they started to say to me: ‘Come, because we are admitting you out of good faith; make friendship with us in any way you wish.’ (And so, on that day, I refused to suck the breasts of these men from fear of God, but nevertheless I had hopes that they would come to faith in Jesus Christ, because they were barbarians.) And for this I continued with them, and forthwith we put to sea.”

—(Tw very mild rape/sex assault mention—

So, as you can see, Celtic and Catholic ways clashed horribly. Something seen as good and sacred to the indigenous tribes was seen as barbaric and sinful to Saint Patrick. Also, don’t worry, the celts did not press the issue ferther, or else this would be a very different story.

—————

This only snowballed into a much bigger issue much later in medival English sexuality. They were VERY picky on what sex was aloud. Missionary was the only aloud position and it has to be the least pleasurable as possible. Making out and masturbation wasn’t aloud either, as that was also seen as a sin. Here’s a low Rez chart to help figure out when sex was okay.

While we are discussing such a queer topic, I would like to bring up the topic of Anam Cara, or Soul Friends in Antient Celtic culture. A Soul Friend was a word used to describe a Philosophy in which one is not completely whole without thier “other half.” This person can be in a platonic, romantic, or familiar kind of love. Really, all it boils down to is that 2 poeple were made to be together since the beginning of time and will be at thier strongest when they become companions.

There is a Celtic legend that seams to depict a mlm Anam Cara relationship. It tells the story of Cuchulainn and Ferdiad, two male worriors who have known and loved each other a long time. But they must kill each other in a duel. Both are vary reluctant, as at least one of them will have to die.

————(Tw insest)———

Before I go on, it is important to mention there is a lot of debate on wether or not this is homosexual. Mainly because they were foster brothers, but since insest wasn’t as much of a taboo, I do not think this would be as much of a set back as it is today.

—————

They had tried to kill each other each day for 3 days, but they ended up hugging each other and kissing 3 times. On the fourth day, however, Cuchulainn killed Ferdiad. The man then holds Ferdiad in his arms and sings peoms for a long time. Here are some:

“We were heart-companions once,

We were comrades in the woods,

We were men that shared a bed

When we slept the heavy sleep

After hard and weary fights.

Into many lands, so strange,

And side by side we sallied forth

And we ranged the woodlands through,When with Scathach we learned arms!”

Heart companions seams to be similar or the same as soul freind, because of how it’s used. Although sleeping in the same bed isn’t inherently sexual, Cuchulainn then goes on to complement Ferdiad’s physical features.

“Dear to me thy noble blush,

Dear thy comely, perfect form;

Dear thine eye, blue-grey and clear,

Dear thy wisdom and thy speech”

Although this is deeply sweet I would also like to caution that Chuhulainn may have simply been commenting on his healthiness, but blush is an odd word considering he is now dead.

Two male lovers, one dead in the other’s arms. Soul friends, maybe. Reminds me of a certain show..I don’t know I just can’t put my finger on it...

I would also like to point out that because Celtics did not pressure others to have sex, and that a soul friend can be any type of love, I do think that an asexual or someone on that spectrum could live without judgment.Unfortunately, I could not find much about intersex, androgynous, or trans people. Perhaps if I find anything in the future and will make a new post.

In conclusion, if Merlin were more historicaly accurate, he definitely would have been queer. Especially because he is said to be magic itself, it would make sense for him to be the personification of Celtic values. That may include homosexuality, because as previously stated, Celtic men really liked other men.

I’m excited to see what will come of this post, seeing as not a lot of people in the fandom seem to know this. More fanfiction? More fanart? It would probably inspire a lot of creators. So, if you do make something because of this post, please notify me in the notes, an ask, an @ or something. Basically anything but a PM. I would be happy to see/read the creation.

Sources:

Sexuality and love in Celtic society:

Same Sex Celts

Druid Thoughts: of Sex and Druids

Anam Cara, what’s a soul mate?

Sexuality in Ancient Ireland

The Celts, Women, and Sex

LGBT history

Sexuality and love in Medival Society:

Getting down and medival: the sex lives of the Middle Ages

Sex in the Middle Ages

Here’s What Sex Was Like In Medieval Times. It’ll Make You Feel Glad You Weren’t Born Back Then!

General Celtic Society:

Who Were the Celts

Celtic Religion and Belieifs

Saint Patrick

17 Things You Probably Didnt know about Saint Patrick

Confession of Saint Patrick

Cuchulainn and Ferdiad

Cuchulainn and Ferdiad, Gay Lovers?

The Combat of Ferdiad and Cuchulain

Insest in Antient Celtic Society

Ancient Irish elite practiced incest, new genetic data from Neolithic tomb shows

Homosexuality in the Roman Empire

Timeline of LGBT history

Timeline of LGBT history in the United Kingdom

[jounetsunosymphonia]

Nocturnality (Mankai Stage Winter 2020 translation)

translation for the stage version of winter’s third play! song can be found in full here.

ALRIGHT FOLKS IT’S THE GAY PEOPLE. HERE WE GO. a lot of it is actually like...silent? you can hear it in the soundtrack ver that it’s just inst with some occasional sound effects and i’ll write in what’s happening, but i just think it’s interesting that that’s how they decided to go about showing things for noct. i mean, it makes sense. show not tell amirite.

cast list

Yukishiro Azuma (Ueda Kandai) as Kuto Reo Takato Tasuku (Kitazono Ryo) as Seo Kota Mikage Hisoka (Ueda Keisuke) as Franz Arisugawa Homare (Tanaka Ryousei) as Nonomiya Tsukioka Tsumugi (Aramaki Yoshihiko) as Izumi Ryohei

-

(the curtain rises. kota is going about his business, reading and sleeping on the couch in the foreground, going to work at his office. in the background, reo drinks from an unsuspecting passerby, but is accosted by a vampire hunter in white. franz shows up to have a knife fight with the vampire hunter, but reo is injured, and falls into kota’s arms as he’s walking home.)

Kota: Hey!

Reo: Help...me...

-

Reo: Good morning. You were a great help yesterday.

Kota: Did you make this?

Reo: It’s just from what was in the fridge, so it’s nothing special, but I wanted to give you something as thanks for letting me stay the night.

Kota: Amazing. What are you, a wife?

Reo: I’ve lived this long, but I think this is the first time someone’s called me a wife.

(kota takes a bite of the sandwich reo made him, but the funny part is that bc of the face shield requirement, it doesn’t make it to his mouth. the poor man can’t eat his wife’s cooking. rest in pieces.)

Kota: It’s good! I’m Seo Kota. And you are?

Reo: Reo...Kuto Reo.

Kota: Reo. If you don’t have anywhere else to go, you can stay here for a while.

Reo: You’d let a man you don’t even know stay in your house?

Kota: Eh, well...my room’s nice and clean...and this is delicious. If you stay, it’ll be a big help for me too.

Reo: You’re really trusting, aren’t you. Well, I’ll be in your care, then.

Kota: Aren’t you going to eat?

Reo: I eat at irregular times. Don’t mind me, just eat.

[winter telepathy time part 1] Azuma: (Just as I’d expect from you. You’re really giving off this feeling of helplessness that’s nothing like how you are normally.)

Tasuku: (The version of me that always seems strong might be the one that’s acting, though.)

Azuma: (You can say something like that without hesitation...you’re an adult, so you are strong.)

Tasuku: (Because we’ve got these members...let’s take this to the very end, in a delicate way fitting for Winter.)

Azuma: (Yes, let’s.)

-

Kota: I’m off.

Reo: Take care.

Kota: So you’re just going to send me out. Yesterday...you asked me for help...

Reo: I’m sorry...

-

Izumi: Oh, do you live here? I just moved in, I’m Izumi.

Kota: I’m Seo. Nice to meet you.

Izumi: You’re on your way to work, right? Sorry for stopping you.

Kota: No, it’s alright. If you ever have any problems, please let me know.

-

Nonomiya: Hey, I heard. You picked someone up off the street? That’s way too suspicious. This isn’t an afternoon drama or a manga for middle-aged ladies.

Kota: Give me a break. Reo’s a good guy. And he can cook.

Nonomiya: (sigh.) If you say stuff like that it’s only gonna hurt you.

[winter telepathy time part 2] Homare: (Well, well, how is it? My acting as an office worker.)

Tasuku: (Honestly, I’m surprised. You can even do a role like this smoothly now, huh.)

Homare: (An outstanding artist can excel in anything they do.)

Tasuku: (How reliable.)

Homare: (Now, continue as you like. The rest of us shall support you.)

-

(kota goes home. he and reo spend time talking together until he seems to get tired, when reo helps him over to the bed.)

Reo Saying that I’m sorry Might not be fair I’m eating away at your life And yet I wonder why Even though I want your blood, I don’t want it

(and then reo dramatically leans over kota and just, Bite)

Kota: Sorry about last night.

Reo: ...what for?

Kota: I’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately. I must be noisy in my sleep.

Reo: No, you’ve been sleeping quietly.

Kota: That’s good, then.

Reo: Rather than worry about someone else, you should look after yourself...

Kota: Huh?

Reo: Nothing. Are you feeling well? Can you go to work?

Kota: Yeah. I had some of your cooking, so I’m fine. I’m off.

-

Izumi: Good morning.

Kota: Good morning.

Izumi: Ah, Seo-san. Are you off on weekdays as well? I’ve been hearing noises from next door in the middle of the day, so...

Kota: Oh, no. I just have a friend over.

Izumi: Is that so...a friend. (i love this part bc when he says ““ah. a friend.”” he goes from being nice gentle neighbour to “were it not for the fact that you were a human i would have murdered you where you stand” in like zero seconds, thanks mackey)

[winter telepathy time part 3] Tasuku: (How is everyone, Tsumugi?)

Tsumugi: (To put it simply, I’ve got respect for them. No matter how minute an action is, they can return it, and everyone’s acting is so varied, it’s interesting.)

Tasuku: (Jeez, you’re the one who does that the most and you’re going to say it?)

Tsumugi: (We...started acting so that one day we’d meet Winter, didn’t we.)

Tasuku: (...we did.)

-

Nonomiya: Oi, Seo. You look terrible.

Kota: I just didn’t get any sleep, I guess.

Nonomiya: It’s not just today. You’ve been like this the whole week. That’s when you met that freeloader, right? Something’s just off about him.

Kota: I told you, it’s not Reo’s fault.

Nonomiya: No, he’s too suspicious. I’m coming with you.

-

Franz: Well, you’ve found a nice place to lay your head, haven’t you? Care to share it with me?

Reo: It’s not like that. Don’t interfere.

Franz: Ah, how cold! Isn’t that a part of our relationship?

Reo: If that’s all you wanted from me, then leave, Franz.

Franz I don’t know what it is you’ve become so infatuated with But we cannot—

Reo I know, the sun’s light is too strong ...and yet, I’ll end up longing for it anyway

Franz Hatred of the dark—

Reo I can’t help but wish—

Franz —is humanity’s weakness

Reo —that we’d be able to live alongside each other

Kota: Eh? Reo...who’s that?

Nonomiya: Wait, that’s who you picked up? I knew it, he’s definitely suspicious!

Kota: I told you, he isn’t like that. Hey, Reo!

(i just wanna point out here it’s so funny he goes from :( at nono to the gentlest voice calling out to reo, and nonomiya just loOKS SO PISSED LIKE . HUH? WHAT ARE YOU BEING SOFT AT HIM FOR. HEY.)

Reo: Kota...

Franz: Is that him? Well, he does have a good physique... (franz licks his fangs i hate it so much u all need to know this)

Reo: Franz, let’s go somewhere else.

Nonomiya: They ran off! Those guys are probably part of some criminal organisation or something, right?!

Kota: That’s enough, Nonomiya! But...why did he ignore me...?

Kota Letting you stay in my home Might be unfair

Kota, Reo I’m getting used to having you around You’re a man I just met, only by coincidence But I always want to be with you

Franz: You haven’t been drinking blood much, have you?

Reo: Since I’m staying in his home, I can’t bring myself to drink from him properly.

Franz: Is that not the entire point of this human? Just hurry up and drink already, you’ll die.

Reo: That’s what I wanted to do at first.

-

Kota: Why did you just run away without saying anything...Reo...

-

Franz: Our pursuers are closing in on this neighbourhood. That’s what I came here to tell you.

Reo: Thank you.

Franz: Have you no intention of leaving that house? Surely, at this point—

Reo: It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

-

(kota is asleep on the floor by the couch by the time reo gets back home and thEY ARE LITERALLY SITTING LIKE THE DAMN POSTER HOLDING HANDS AS REO SINGS THE NEXT PART)

Reo Even if it isn’t fair for me to apologise I need to tell you I’m glad I met you So I’ll leave it til the end I want your blood I want it more than anyone else

-

Reo: You’ve been such a great help. I didn’t mean to stay for so long, but I got too comfortable.

Kota: There’s no need for you to leave so soon, since it’s easier on me too, anyway.

Reo: That’s not why I’m leaving.

Kota: Have you found a place to stay?

Reo: Kind of. Kota...thank you.

-

Kota: Oh, Izumi-san. Good morning.

Reo: You...!

Izumi: So you’re moving out? Well, here’s a going-away present.

Reo: Kota, get back! (izumi runs him right through with a sword. a whole sword.)

Kota: Izumi-san?

Izumi: What a shame. It’s only been a little while, but we were neighbours too! (he twists the sword while it’s still in reo, he’s a terrible man and i love him)

Kota: What are you doing?!

(some very excellent sword swinging and mad cackling from izumisan while reo is suffering and falls to the ground. thank you mackey.)

Izumi: Filthy creature of the night. Thou shalt be eradicated in the name of my blood pact!

(kota runs in front of reo.)

Izumi: Out of the way. I’ll kill you as well.

Reo: Stop! Kota has nothing to do with this!

Izumi: Ha! The two of you are friendly, aren’t you. Even though humans are nothing more than meals to your kind.

Kota: Meals...? What are you talking about?

Izumi: He’s a vampire. Humans’ enemy.

Kota: Vampire? Reo would never...! (he backs away from reo for a bit)

Reo: Kota...

Izumi: Now, hand him over.

(kota goes back to reo and protectively puts his arms around him.)

Izumi: Ah, so you’ve debased yourself to the level of an underling of blood. No matter. I’ll send you both off.

(franz jumps from the steps, fending off izumi’s sword with his two entire knives i love stage ver. he even twirls a knife as he talks.)

Franz: Oh, my. I thought I’d join in myself, but it looks like I’ve drawn the short end of the stick. Well, it can’t be helped. I’ll give you a hand.

Izumi: Accursed vampire...

(EXTREMELY GOOD SWORD + KNIFE FIGHT IT’S GOOD THAT’S ALL I CAN TELL YOU THEY’RE EXCELLENT I LOVE THEM)

[winter telepathy time part 4] Tsumugi: (This is amazing, Hisoka-kun. Your movements are far more polished than they were during rehearsals.)

Hisoka: (I don’t even need to think, my body’s just moving on its own. I don’t know why, though.)

Tsumugi: (Maybe it has something to do with your past.)

Hisoka: (I want to face them too...like Azuma...my memories...)

(THIS ENTIRE TIME THEY ARE STILL AGGRESSIVELY KNIFE FIGHTING EVEN WHILE THEY’RE HAVING THIS INTERNAL CONVERSATION I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME)

(franz disarms izumi and kicks him in the face.)

Franz: Want to keep going?

Izumi: Humanity will not yield to your kind. The white blade shall invariably pass judgement upon you! (he runs away like a little bitch but at least he got a real fight this time)

Kota: Reo! Reo!!

Franz: Can you leave him to me?

Kota: But...

Franz: Worry not. He and I are the same.

Kota: ...Fine. Please take care of him.

Franz: There’s a good boy.

Kota There’s no need for you to apologise I’ll give you my blood So please, please Live I don’t want to lose you

(IN AT LEAST ONE OF THE LIVE VERSIONS HE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S STARTING TO CRY AS HE’S SINGING THE LAST LINE. WHAT EVEN IS STAGE NOCT)

-

Reo: Where’s Kota...?

Franz: He’s fine. You don’t expect me to ask him to share some of his blood, do you?

Reo: ...thank you, Franz.

Franz: Since you’ve been found out, you can’t stay here any longer. The next one will be coming along soon.

Reo: What have we done wrong? We only live a little longer than regular humans.

Franz: Anything unorthodox must be eliminated. That’s how humanity is.

-

Kota: Reo!

Reo: This is goodbye, Kota. I’m glad I met you.

Kota: I understand what’s going on now. There’s no need for you to leave!

Reo: Humans like you make even this mundane life worth living.

Kota: Are you just going to live alone like this again?

Reo: This is the fate of my kind.

Kota: ...then, take me with you. (this idiot is really out here on the ground opening his fucking collar i’m sorry i can’t take it here i’m lsoing my shit)

Reo: What...?

Kota: I’m saying I’ll keep you company. I’ll do anything, I’ll even become a vampire!

[winter telepathy time part 5] Azuma: (This distance that we haven’t...that we couldn’t break through until now...after bravely taking a step forward, I feel like we’ve become more connected to each other than ever before.)

Reo: ...Thank you, Kota. Just hearing you say that, I...

aaaand it goes into shoutai here. as always from the wiki

Reo, Kota The truth is I want to bite sweetly into the nape of your neck, and play with the red blood that flows forth Though my instincts may howl for release, I have kept them held back deep inside me If I hated you any more than I do, I would have long taken everything from you To the point that my throat runs dry, my heart has thirsted for it Listening to the tender echo of your sleeping breaths I have begun to learn what it means to fear loneliness

Reo Laughing at myself for letting a human grow on me I walk out into the depths of darkness all alone

(here i genuinely think that reo doesn’t actually bite kota again like he does in the original? like, he just kinda knocks him out and leaves his coat over him like a blanket. which makes me ??!?!!?? like...it feels like it’s really driving home the whole idea that reo doesn’t want to hurt him any more than he already has and i’m bbbhgbhhhb   ok)

Reo: Good night, and sweet dreams...

-

Nonomiya: Hey. Hey! Are you alive? Seo-chan?! (SEO-CHAN????????????)

Kota: ...h.

Nonomiya: What, you just overslept? You had me worried since you didn’t show up to work.

Kota: (running around the room) Where’s Reo?

Nonomiya: Reo? (picks up the jacket on the floor) What’s this?

Kota: (clutching the jacket in tears) He...left me behind... (HE STARTS SOBBING ON THE FLOOR)

Nonomiya: Are you okay...? Hey...

(while kota is sobbing on the floor you can see reo at the top part of the stage staring forlornly at the whole thing. i hate it here so much)

Kota: That idiot...

(it’s in the actual show, i don’t know why it’s not included in the soundtrack? ig bc it’s like...an adlib in-universe but so is sagishima’s thing about being fond of shiki and that’s on the soundtrack. idk man. thanks for reading the vampire gays.)

[lady-charinette]

Aged up marichat where chat is being a little fart and marinette puts him into his place sassily. Angst in the beginning then shifting to fluff. But chat is justified in being stupid like he's not being whiny lol just a couple's quarrel LOL (since theyre in their 20s possoble mention at them having future kids and them being blushy bc they didnt do the shame shame bc theyre waiting for marriage XD) Lyyy scar

Heh, you're welcome @ravensink ! Don't forget to drop by more amazing requests! ;) 😏😈 Also: @miraculous-elcie-fanfics since you mentioned wanting to be tagged in my ML stories :3

"Oh? The princess isn't resting in her lavish castle with a maid massaging her feet?" the teasing voice cut through the peaceful silence and Marinette hung her head, already knowing who it was.

They've been at this for a while now.

Four years, to be exact.

She didn't turn her head to look at him, but acknowledged his presence when he jumped down from her chimney to land perfectly balanced on her balcony railing next to her.

It still amazed her how, even after he'd underwent growthspurt after growthspurt during puberty, with only her head reaching the very top of his shoulders now, he still managed to perfectly balance his large frame on the thin metal railing.

Marinette smirked at his banter. "The princess was waiting for her loyal servant to finally arrive and massage her feet for her. I must say you're quite tedious, loyal servant." the smug grin on her lips made the young man chuckle, shaking his head in amusement.

A fair eyebrow rose in question, mirth shining in those green eyes of his that had captivated her more than once, not that she would ever say that out loud. "Apawlogies princess, my services have been lacking."

The young woman laughed, the smile reaching her eyes when she glanced at him briefly. "Careful kitty, I just may be on the lookout for another tomcat." She winked and Chat had to admit it did funny things to his stomach, had since they'd become good friends.

More than that.

Comfortable silence settled between them, until Chat Noir spoke again, his voice dropping a bit deeper, more serious. "Marinette."

The use of her name made her finally turn her head, the bandage on her cheek catching the cat's eye instantly. "What?"

He sighed, swinging his legs over so that they hovered over the floor of her balcony and no longer in open air. "You should've called for me sooner."

She gingerly touched his shoulder, her smile warmer than the inviting blankets in her room. "I'm fine kitty, Ladybug saved me."

He scoffed, messy blond hair falling into his eyes. "She may always save you, but there will be a time where she can't."

Marinette sighed, knowing those words were very true, especially since she was Ladybug.

Not that her partner would know anything about it.

"Maybe...maybe there will be a time where I can't..." the solemn expression on his face and in his voice made her blood boil and Marinette leaned forward.

"Huh? Princess, wha- MEOWCH!" Chat Noir sprung back quickly, back slamming against the side of the wall as he cowered away from the lethal substance. "Hey! Cut it out! I thought we talked about this little lady!"

He hissed at the offending object held securely in her hand, a disapproving glare on her face. "Don't you 'lady' me, kitty! And I thought we said you would stop trying to protect me all the time! I'm a big girl Chat, I can protect myself!"

The woman with the hell spawned spray bottle in her hands crossed her arms and the feline hero deemed it safe enough to come closer when the deadly bottle wasn't directed at his general direction anymore.

"You can't protect yourself against akumas!" Chat Noir straightened to his full height, now a whole head taller than the angry dark-haired woman.

Marinette growled in frustration. "I did and I will! Ladybug and you may have super suits but I have enough brains to think my way out of a situation." the proud smile on her lips was there for a second, until her secret partner was on her again.

Chat Noir growled, a far more guttural and feline-esque sound than what Marinette made. "Don't be stupid! What if you get into a situation where brains can't help you?! What if you're trapped somewhere, kidnapped by an akuma or not even on land and far away? What then? Still think your creative mind can save you?"

Not willing to back down, no matter how pity their argument seemed, Marinette stood her ground. She knew Chat Noir had now way of knowing she was Ladybug, so technically she had the brains and the super suit. "I will think of something!"

Now it was his turn to cross his arms, much bigger than hers, from all the years of fighting against akumas and criminals and he leveled her with a deadpan look. "Evillustrator?"

Marinette gaped, surprised that was the first thing that sprung to his mind. "You were with me! Nathaniel was harmless! We'd been kids Chat Noir!"

He frowned. "Glaciator?"

She coughed, looking away. "Kids! Err...I was on a roof and distracted by all the candles you set up!"

His expression softened at the memory, but quickly hardened with his next inquiry. "Ignoblia?"

Marinette jaw dropped and she pointed an accusing finger at her friend. "Hey! She was a bit..too quick and...she was a superhero- villain!"

"Exactly! Proves my point purrfectly!" He smirked at the look of despair on her face, until Marinette turned her back to him and huffed.

"I see kitty is having a hissy fit!"

He didn't want to, but the jab still got him. That little minx. "How can I not when you constantly dive headfirst into danger?! Do you think I dont check every alley and every corner if I dont know you're home when an akuma strikes? I can't believe you can't see reason!" he ran his claws through his messy hair, messing it up even further.

The designer stomped her foot. "I can't believe you can't see reason Chat! Why do you even check every alley? I'll find shelter somewhere!" she rolled her eyes, irritation seeping from her every pore.

The brief pause that followed made Marinette turn her head and when she looked back at the suspiciously quiet cat, her eyes flew open.

His face was set into a deep scowl, protective rage shining brightly in the green eyes and when he took a large step towards her, Marinette nearly stumbled from his imposing presence. His voice was heavy with emotion but didn't lose its bite from before. "I just want you to be safe!"

She stared up at him, her hands raised and just shy of touching him directly, bluebell eyes blinking slowly.

Chat Noir's face was still set in that intense glare, chest heaving from his outburst, until a hand settled gently on his cheek.

He blinked, all traces of anger gone and he instinctively leaned into her touch. "M-Marinette?"

His face looked so vulnerable, so open, green eyes glistening with emotions when her name left his lips in a whisper.

"I promise..." she took a breath, but smiled warmly up at him, the hand on his cheek caressing him softly. "...to try not to get into trouble as often. And I'll have you on speed dial, okay?"

The man sighed heavily, but nuzzled her hand, blond hair still falling slightly into his eyes. "You better not furget princess."

The teasing glint was back in his eyes and Marinette gently flicked his nose. "I won't you worrisome cat."

He shook his head, smiling down at her like a lovesick fool. "Kittens...."

Marinette rose an eyebrow curiously, giggling in amusement while she gently petted his cheek like a cat. "What?"

"Our kittens will be adorable with your looks princess..." the words leaving his lips were dreamy and mumbled, the same soft look in his eyes.

Then, as if awakening from his trance, Chat Noir sprung away from the blushing woman. "N-No, w-wait! It's not- I didn't- I mean I did, but- NO WAIT!"

He covered his mouth with his hand, face an alarming scarlet, tail haphazardly moving on the floor, and Marinette swore if she'd taken a second glance, she'd seen for sure his tail was formed into a heart.

Marinette's entire face was a tomato red, her mind racing with mental images.

Of Chat Noir

And her.

And their children.

Dressed in little black cat ears and wearing ladybug themed masks.

"Eep!" the undignified sound made Chat Noir jump and it took Marinette a split second to realize it hadn't been her that made that sound but him.

Chat Noir covered his face, before he desperately tried to talk over his rapidly pounding heart. "W-Wait, it's not what it sounds like! I was- I was talking about kittens, from- from the streets and- and! Um, adopting them!" he looked everywhere but at her but Marinette couldnt bring herself to look away from him, transformed into a blushing, stuttering mess.

"Y-Yes! Pff-preciously! I-I mean precisely! Kittens! From the streets! To uh, to adopt! Not like a family or anything or uh - just uh, individually! As-as friends! Platonic! Completely platonic! I mean, of course, if you want- not I'm not forcing you, never, I mean you're my princess and lady, I could never force you, no way! No, I-"

A finger suddenly planted itself on his lips and Chat Noir's eyes flew wide open at the action, pupils zeroing in on Marinette.

A very red faced Marinette, who had a determined look on her face, stared up at him just as she stared down their enemies when in her super suit as Ladybug. "I...I think kittens would....would be fine."

Both older teens stared at each-other in petrified silence, until Marinette spoke again, the pink shade on her face growing darker. "B-But our own k-kittens...w-with Ladybug masks and cat ears...I-in a n-non-platonic way..."

Silence.

Ice settled in her stomach and Marinette's mind worked into overdrive to try and come up with a believable excuse.

Maybe it had been a joke! Of course! Chat Noir was known to make jokes!

Marinette froze when she was pushed into a solid warmth, surrounded by equally solid, warm arms around her back and one cradling the back of her head tenderly.

She could feel Chat's frantic heartbeat slowly settle down the longer they were locked in their embrace and before Marinette could form a sentence, Chat already spoke.

His voice was so quiet, she strained to hear it properly. "You know princess, I think I prefer them wearing their mama's suit more, but whatever you say m'lady."

Marinette's heart skipped a beat and she buried her face against his chest, shoulders shaking from laughter.

That dork.

Of course he knew.

But she had a little secret of her own, one she won't reveal just yet.

She smiled, her own arms wrapping around him tightly.

He purred in response.

Marinette's smile widened. "Only if they wear their papa's brand from time to time."

Chat's heart picked up in speed again and Marinette laughed.

[safetytank]

“Running Away To Join The Dalish”

we see this crop up a lot in the games, with varying levels of permanence/success depending on the character (Wynne’s apprentice Aneirin, Feynriel (temporarily), Zevran, Felassan(?) etc.) but like, there’s gotta be way more of a spectrum of experiences that would be fun to explore

- so you’re a city/rural/enslaved non-dalish elf in Thedas, and your life objectively sucks

- tracking down a dalish camp alone has to range from “it’s chill, i live out in a little village in the hinterlands, it’s just like tracking a big herd of deer” to “i’ve literally never left Denerim as long as i’ve been alive and am now wandering around the Brecilian Forest with a duffel bag full of Ye Olde Kraft Singles”

- if you’re lucky, u live out in one of those remote areas where a camp would feel ok settling down in the nearby woods for a bit, & running away is as easy as “hey guys i see you came in to trade with us very cool very cool would you happen to be taking applications at this time please say yes please please please please please”

- what’s the expected ratio of “omg yes! :D come with us and embrace ur heritage da’len! :D” vs. “ew no fuck off flat-ear” in clans, & what are the factors for or against u pleading your case? does this particular keeper prefer child converts bc they pick up the culture more easily, or are adults with useful trade skills the hot commodity? are they down if you wanna bring your whole family bc they’ll finally get some genetic diversity into the clan bloodlines? would a crueler keeper demand you leave your children/spouse/elderly parents behind to prove your dedication? are u subjected to tests or refusals you’re then supposed to overcome to show how badly you want to join?

- (obvs, being a mage is probably several points in ur favor regardless of any other factors)

- (at what point are u let in on the whole “yeah we started the 3 Mages Per Clan rumor for safety reasons, it’s not actually a thing we do bc that would be dumb as hell lmao”)

- is having fought/killed someone a yea or a nay on your application? does it showcase ur ability to harden urself and do what must be done to protect urself and ur loved ones and therefore makes u worthy of training as a warrior, or are u a dangerous criminal that shouldn’t be allowed into a peaceful clan that minds its own business? can u plead ur case if it was circumstantial or self-defense? if it was a human? if the knowledge of what you’ve done torments u in the middle of the night? if ur willing to undergo some rite of redemption before ur allowed to be considered a clean slate rather than a violent liability?

- are there general guidelines for how long ur “probation” period is if they finally let u join? how many months or years do u spend at the bottom of the social totem pole, being given the extremely unglamorous grunt work & mucking out a whole lot of halla pens before u prove you’re not gonna peace out bc the nomadic lifestyle just isn’t for u? at what point are u allowed to partake in the more spiritual aspects, begin learning the language, speak to other clan members as an equal? at what point are u allowed access to the fragments of history they hang onto so tightly, beyond the folklore and stories they tell their kiddies before bedtime? at what point is it implied you’re allowed to start thinking of what you’d like for your vallaslin?

- what’s the New Convert procedure if ur clan picks up a newbie right before the 10-year Arlathvenn? are u like “ok we can’t really leave u with a sitter so just stay in the wagon and don’t embarrass us while the grown-ups are talking”

- if ur clan picked up someone new and found out they were kind of a dickhead (or, if they weren’t but ur keeper walks the line between “pragmatic” and “a bit of a sociopath”) would u bring them along to the Arlathvenn anyway as a trading pawn in order to barter for someone u liked better?

- what happens if ur traded to another clan that decides they don’t actually like u all that much and leaves u to fend for yourself in some wildly unfamiliar part of the continent? what happens if you’re caught up in some sort of inter-clan pissing contest & how well u assimilate will either honor or shame the clans involved? Are u expected to parse and navigate the slight differences in theological interpretation between clans all by yourself? Do they take it real goddamn personally if ur like “but in clan XYZ they told me--”?

- what’s the surprise turnaround when ur knowledge of shems comes in handy at a crucial moment & prevents some terrible disaster from befalling ur new fam? what’s the value of ur external perspective shedding light on what are still extremely insular communities? what’s the moment u whip out some newly-developed skill or piece of trivia/news they hadn’t heard of due to their disconnect from everything else in Thedas and the whole clan goes :OOOOO

- at what point is stealing a halla for a joyride considered Fun & Wacky Clan Memories and not Incalculably Disrespectful, i must know

[blackwoolncrown]

i just saw someone reblog your post that was kind of outlining something you wanted to write about the reflection of what porn means about society and i would love to read that. you're absolutely correct that most analysis of porn and society come from swerfs and terfs and they're absolutely terrible if you look beyond surface-level anything. oh but also please never make me read the phrase "regular degular people fornicating" ever again lol

So…thank you for waiting. The first thing I’d like to say is…*clears throat*

TERFS/SWERFS absolutely suck and their awful rhetoric and invasive presence obstructs discussion of women’s right. TERFS are the footwomen of the patriarchy and absolutely brainwashed, useless voices. 

Now that that has been said…

Regular degular poeple fornicaiting. :D

Okay enough silliness, here’s my point. Usually critique of porn comes in two main flavors: “Porn is terrible and inherently sexist, a perverse product of patriarchy” and “All porn is good, actually and critiquing it is prudish and un-progressive”. And I would like to, as usual, submit that the actual truth is somewhere in the middle:

Porn is entirely neutral, and what porn looks like in a society has everything to do with the content of the people’s minds. The content of their minds is heavily influenced by that society’s social mores, habits, etc.

TL;DR - porn is a product of culture. if the porn is bad, that’s the culture’s fault.

The idea that porn is bad and wrong, all of it, is nothing but an extension of the sexual shame colonizers have been peddling along with their sham Christian moralism and oppression for centuries. Our culture fancies itself very open, free and liberated- hence porn and violence can be found in spades bc ~FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION~ but literally everywhere you look, people have complexes about sexuality that are deeply rooted in sexual shame. I want to note here that repression almost ALWAYS causes not an overall lessening of the repressed subject, but a diverted (perverted here is a relative word) and intensified expression of that subject elsewhere.

As a sex worker, when I came into the fetish world, I had the assumption that fetishes in general were like, a conscious type of self exploration done in the spirit of play. What I found was that ‘fetish’ is sometimes that but generally an unconscious mess of psychological expression that people think they don’t need to be critical of because it’s fantasy. To keep this short, most of the fetishes that could have a cathartic or expansive effect on a person’ are actually just sort of like, dead-ended expressions of the world we live in instead of being creative ways beyond it.

Ultimately these ‘fetishes’ and ‘fantasies’ are really anything but. They aren’t fanciful non realities at all- they’re actually sexualized versions of the oppressions we all know and suffer. And that’s horrible. 

The issue with porn, then, is that it reflects the minds and desires of the average person involved with its making and consumption. And in a world where (mostly but not all straight, mostly but not all ((but really really mostly here)) white) men disproportionately have voice, power and resources, then they are who porn is about and for.

‘Porn’ is terrible becuause a society with this kind of power imbalance is terrible.

THere’s an aspect of the mind/body where like…anything you like or are attracted to, there’s a part of you that can eroticize that feeling of attraction into something that may be experienced as more and more sexual the more it’s repressed/ignored. If you think of love as attraction, and attraction as neutral, then you can understand how, then, the very things our patriarchal society loves, celebrates and represents can end up eroticized into sexual fantasy and content. If power is good, then expressions of power feel good, somewhere in the mind/body. If violence is good, then expressions of violence feel good. If maintaining male dominance is good, then expressions of male dominance feel good. The simple fact is that if an individual is taught that expressing some quality *is good*, that thing is remembered as so because of the positive reinforcement. 

Somewhere in their mind, the conditions of that moral quality are associated with feelings of pleasure, positive stimulation, excitement, arousal (think neutrally here as ‘increased excitatory interest’), and feelings are felt by the body. In a certain way, then, the production/creation of porn based on patriarchal male desire and its offspring (fetishization of feminine subjugation, fetishization of racism, fetishization of gender roles, fetishization of sexual shame as a domination tool, fetishization of abuse etc), creates a feedback spiral that ends up ritualizing and reinforcing those things.So we lose a huge opportunity for healing and growth as a society when either of the following positions are taken:1) Porn is bad (sinful, dirty) and shouldn’t exist– this will only further repression and reinforce sexual shame.

2) Porn is good and also 100% fantasy/meaningless fun. Critiquing or questioning it is oppressive, prudish– this is what people with unresolved mental issues say to keep from having to examine what their porn consumption/fantasies are saying

The fact that pretty much all porn that exists  in main (and many side) streams is fetishization of exploitation, celebration of male dominance,  the degradation of the feminine or eroticized personal trauma is really really telling. But we can’t do anything about that in terms of helping people grow into a healthier way of experiencing/expressing sexuality if we go ‘Porn is bad so let’s get rid of it! Shame shame! Criminalize!’ 

Speaking for experience, people, specifically men, can actually be trained away from harmful porn and harmful positive associations (being turned on by violence is not, actually, ideal) and to something more relative. Of course they can- recovery is human, people change and relearn things. The complication here though is that the porn industry and the broad presence of mainstream and even indie porn exist within a capitalist market. Capitalist markets are by their very nature a) exploitative and b) manipulative, focused on controlling and exacerbating the consumers needs and desires. So the porn itself, its content and marketing, will overtly to explicitly imply to its viewers/buyers that they need it, that it is good the more you consume, that its extremity and ‘extra’ness is what makes it good, and that it is an addictive indulgence.

I have a lot more I could say about this but it would have to go all into fetish, content and psychology so I also want to say this: Understand that this is not a situation in which men actually benefit. In fact it gets them to perpetuate their own trauma, their own internal oppression. Encouraging them to mistreat their bodies, to have a dysfunctional view of sexuality, to degrade the feminine (something ALL people have) via the degradation of women– this by extension harms their minds deeply. Porn as it is is simply a recycling and eroticization, and extension of society at large. Thus it of course simultaneously revels in the exploitation of the feminine and turns men into tools of sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic oppression, coding into them the positive reinforcement of social mores so that they support and perpetuate them.

Lastly: The idea that what one fetishizes/consumes doesn’t say anything about them is FALSE and its often a subconscious expression of the mind aimed at resolution. Whether its fanfic, art or videos it’s all porn and yes, ones fantasy mind is actually a manifestation of their mind in general. The world of fantasy is meaningful, actually.

[violet-sabres]

Some quick observations re: TROS and some "reylo"musings (spoilers)

- the editing removed A LOT of emotional pay-offs for so many scenes. The decorations and actors change quickly, a bit randomly - in fact it takes a while before this movie finds its tempo and footing. Something weighty happens and no reflection is allowed even in briefest sketch of a reaction. Next scene. Next scene-

- Poe, Finn, Rose and two new female characters were absolutely robbed. Both by the ungodly pace of this movie (there is much potential for scenes that could mean much much more in the whole storyline. As is, they are discarded as soon as they happen). The bond between Finn and Poe got severed in the beginning with some awkward finnrey moments and strange jealousy (was that what it was???) from Poe. I say either carry out the finnrey thread (which was also beautiful actually, though Finn deserves so much better than how she treats him in TROS...) or finnpoe, something which JJ himself built up. Rose should be given an independent arc with no romance involved, or a love interest of her own.

- Rose's infatuation with Finn is never touched. Rose herself is absolutely erased - she is a statist, providing some dialogue with absolutely no weight behind it. JJ treated her terribly - it was his privilege and responsibility to utilize whatever he got from Johnson as he saw fit; but throwing away her potential only underlines the racist sidelining he did to all characters of colour.

- the heteronormativity I can't understand - Finn and Poe are JJs babies after all (and yeah, I know - shareholders...). Why tease hetero relationships for both and STILL leave even them hanging?? Like, he discarded Rose bc first of all racism, second - Johnson's 'leftovers' I guess? Unacceptable. The lady of Poe's was sketched boldly - but still sketched. Her inclusion wouldn't feel so random if Poe wasn't shown to be this randomly emotional abt her all of a sudden. Why now? It felt a bit forced and this is a shame bc she (and Janah, omg Janah...) is super cool. I'd love to read and see way more about all of them.

- Finn and Janah - wonderful rapport, so much empathy and loyalty, they are wonderful together. I definitely could see them together as well - so many threads to explore! There was so much potential to embed meaningful relationships for Finn into the plot. Janah is one of those that felt quite right but deserved more still. She deserves a story of her own. Not for the first time it is a secondary character of colour who carries so much potential and substance and gets sidelined. I dont mind Kylo content btw - but this series was shown to concentrate on 3 people and a villain. Keep to this proportion or perish I say. They didnt keep them and the movie feels unfairly skewed towards the force dyad of Rey and Ren. Hence, robbed. We were robbed of much of quality content here.

- the implication/suggestion that Finn may be Force sensitive held so much promise. I love Finn and Boyega played him with so much passion and dignity. He grew into leadership without pretense or drama, was competent and knowledgeable about the inner workings of the Fleet and found hope he was struggling for. Honestly the problem here is that his prominence was teased to be greater than the actual time and the weight of scenes he was given. This movie should be longer, scene order less abrupt and random - so the characters that were shown to matter in the first part could matter here as well.

- JEDI FINN please. The potential of it was teased - they should scrap some of the scenes and build those kinds of plot points more thoroughly. Finn's arc should be more - but that doesn't mean Boyega played it any other than magnificently. He got what he was given and made it his. I hate that this still means it was not as much as he and Poe deserved it. Same with Rose.

- galactic generals (*husbands) Poe and Finn. It could be marriage, it should be - Isaac played a man in love. I enjoyed this new romantic angle with the spice smuggler lady as well - but it required more buildup. As it was, it made for an awkward and frankly homophobic ersatz for finnpoe plotline of the first and even second movie. I hate wasting the potential of new characters in the movie, and this is what happened here. Also Poe's smuggling past - no previous setup that felt offensive to many bc of its randomness and no previous grounds in existing media. Felt like unnecessary sensationalism here.

- Rey is complicated here. I didnt like her attitude towards Finn and wished for more appreciation of their own idiosyncracies between them. Finn deserved his love (whether romantic or platonic) to be recognized. It was lacking here.

- I loved the fight scenes, the dialogues with Ren that should begin in TFA if they wished for the romance to be acceptably wet up. Driver is so fucking physical and huge, a bit awkward and very strong. To me it was attractive - but to me Kylo always lacked the threat in him when it came to Rey; I know this isnt so for others and respect that.

- Choreography is super effective here, the body work of Rey and Ren is wonderful.

- lighting, the sith locations were one of my favourites

- the creatures - while in the background, theybwere lovely. They made for lusher world out there.

- Palps was eh. Needed for the ending setup, ultimately fell a bit flat. The twist re his endgame would feel better if the whole scene didnt play this fucking quickly.

- the death (you know whose...) is quick and abrupt, passing fleetingly with no real depth or importance. They are rushing to another scene so quickly they forget that if you love somebody enough to accept them fully, this person's death tends to leave some kind of impression. As it is, Rey is hardly the first character robbed of emotional engagement in TROS.

- sigh. Ren. I love to hate him and hate to enjoy him still. Also feeling like a hypocrite bc would I enjoy him if not for my prefernce for how Driver looks like? Would anyone who I respect a bit more than his most fanatical reylo fans? I have no answer really.

I've never seen a character ripped into shreds from so many angles. For incels and dudebros he is a pussy (a lot of girls I know also mentioned that). He is supposedly not cruel enough, not awesome like Vader, whatever.

For others he is a genocidal criminal, and that he is. You can't sidestep Tuanul or his passivity in front of Star Destroyer wiping out whole planets. He is implicated in this genocide - and that scene where he is supposedly mutely watching it from the distance falls flat if its intention was to show he wasn't entirely behind Hux's agenda. He still never stopped him. So yeah, it is obvious that for many he is absolutely undeserving of any empathy, much less a romance plotline with movie's heroine. Especially when the first scenes setting it up were so messed up.

Now I hate the word reylo and I'd rather choke than call myself that. But I did enjoy their enmity and idk love?? towards each other? It should be plotted more consequently and I believe if JJ didn't muck it in tfa people would be a lot less opposed to the whole villain x heroine thing. Nobody opposes it bc of that - it's the torture bed and it's the "whatever I want" line that made so many recoil. It's the absolute lack of coherence at a time where more self awareness was needed from the director of the very first part in the series.

I believe there is a kind of generational divide on topic of their romance. Youve got gen z "antis" who argue about the abuse (and have a lot of good point more reylos should think hard and long about) - and mostly adult to older women (this includes older milennials also!) who grew up steeped in gothic romanticism that, up to gen z growing up, was a dominant romance paradigm in the West.

Youve got your Wuthering Hills, your Pride and Prejudice and Beauty and the Beast. I hate it. I absolutely abhor it, and the more the reylo fandom hammered their whole relationship from this angle, the more I was distancing myself. I believe the whole genre is steeped in toxic masculinity and yes, you can look at reylo from this angle as well - and I understand that when you saw those scenes from TFA, and didn't feel convinced by entirely paradoxal romance teasers (bc JJ mixed them both in equal measure, and thus killed wide enthusiasm for reylo for good) then what happened in TLJ and TROS must look like the embracing toxic hetero romance in entirety. And to some degree it is - entirely by JJs fault. The other elements that you mightve ignored in tfa suddenly get amplified in tlj, in tros and youre left wondering why the hell Kylo Ren could ever be seen as romanceable?

But the thing is, while the analogy of angry white male pursuing a pure young woman seems fitting, it doesnt work for me here. I also acknowledge that it may be in part bc I'm used to the gothic paradigm, attracted to Driver as Ren and feeling safe and assured that Rey would stay herself despite whatever he wanted from her (and she did in my opinion, she never caved even when she loved him). Kylo is white, and he is aggressive - he is a villain, he tortures and hurts Poe and Finn and plays psychological games with Rey, he shouts a lot and is very physical, which in itself looks threatening.

All those could end up somewhat accepted bc he is a villain - people will accept the consequent villain, or paradoxical one done with self- awareness on side of their creator. JJ was absolutely unaware of what a mess he did I bet - the worst elements that crossed "reylo" off the list for so many people I'd argue were first sown by JJ himself in paradoxical chase of I tease this-now I don't. Here's what I mean.

It was JJ who put Rey on that horizontal torture bed, even when Poe's was upright. It was JJ who had Ren say those gross words abt taking what he wanted. It was also JJ who irreaponsibly and paradoxically played with symbolism normally reserved for gothic princes DESPITE the gross elements he himself planted - the mask going off to reveal a goofy Disney prince, the crouching so as not to scare her, the freaking bridal carry, the humanizing via showing Ren's vulnerability. I actually hated some of those scenes - I loved the face reveal no lie, but what followed was unacceptable. Why style your villain this lush and vulnerable when you're shooting your own foot a few minutes after, with dialogue that had whole groups of young women discard him as trash? Why not polish your villain with more self awareness so that the ground for the romance is understood and cautiously accapted?

So youve got an internally cracked TFA that for some was obviously teasing reylo but for others made it unacceptable forever. This is one hell of a difficult mix to continue with and I believe if JJ was given the 2nd part to work with, perhaps he might be able to somehow work with Ren so that TLJ wouldnt feel like slap to the face to those who saw mostly the worst parts of Ren that JJ himself designed. Perhaps he would also polish the romance teasers or got rid of them altogether, idk. TROS shows that while he was eager to discard anything that Johnson had put into motion, he chose to leave reylo content still. This is really paradoxical to me, today as it was back then.

Now reylo isnt super mainstream - if he got rid of it, it would surely anger a lot of people but also satisfy an equal amount of others. Yet he chose not to and I'd argue it is because he planned for reylo to happen from the beginning, just in a shitty way we first witnessed in the worst scenes of TFA.

I'll also argue another point - if Johnson was given the saga from the beginning, reylo wouldnt be nearly as much hated and regarded as abusive for so many. It is this particular humanization of Kylo that was criticized by so many that would protect the 1st part from that torture bed, and from taking whatever Kylo wanted. As it was, when all this sudden humanity followed JJs paradoxical mess, only opposition could come bc it kind of must - it looked for many as woobifying somebody who was already irredeemable. The irony is that JJ probably never planned for this - maybe he thought he could pull this off, somehow work out the agreement between ugly Kylo and Kylo worthy of Rey. Johnson just put a fat line between TFA and his own vision, and irresponsibly ignored all the ugly heritage that should be better worked on if he ever hoped to rectify JJs paradoxes. He didnt do this and thus the mess.

I dont know if it would ever be possible though. Perhaps theres been a shift in ethics, in aesthetics even, so big that for the gen Z this kind of relationship is unacceptable. I dont see anything bad in this - even if I enjoyed a lot of reylo's potential, there will be better content, better romances done by those kids who despise reylo now as well. Meanwhile I plan to stay on this weird pole stuck deep into my ass between reylo enthusiast and haters bc I cant for shit choose a side fully.

Bc I dont see the abuse this clear cut - but am also unsure how much of it is my cultural baggage, the history of normalizing toxic masculinity etc. I bet it's both to some degree, like with all gothic romance genre, - and that there wouldnt be this whole rift at the heart of tfa without toxic masculinity normalization at all. Without it there would be no torture bed and no threats. And the irony is that Johnson would probably see to that better. But not as good as a woman behind the camera to begin with - if you want a heroine at its heart that is.

Like, you can see JJs initial vision as pretty homogenous - the bed, the words, and ignore all the paradoxical romance symbolism in there. You can also look at it as fractured and absolutely lacking coherence, and fish for the elements youd like to stay in next parts. I welcomed Johnson bc he took the best in Kylo and left JJs mess behind. This is also the very reason youre gonna hate the TLJ if TFA felt coherent for you. Bc you cant ignore that which felt threatening and cruel and very much obvious.

I have no easy recipe at dealing with this saga. I cant throw my weight behind reylo fully, ever, but will cautiously accept the potential it could have should it be more coherently written. I love so much of art and those fics that are in line with my wishes towards how Ren should be done from.the beginning.

When I was considering what to.think abt all that, back in the beginning, I didnt want for Rey to cater to emotional demands and baggage of an aggressive male, and I believe she actually doesnt - time and time again she asserts herself, maybe messily but she has the right to her anger and pain so the messy it has to be. She is shown to hope for him becoming better - and isnt manipulated or groomed to do so, and if loneliness was the only reason to stick to him then any other person would suffice, which isnt the case. She is loyal to the cause to the end and happily carries on despite Ren dying, even if it's clear she loved him. She is her own woman and the magnitude of his emotions, the physicality of his behaviour hardly influence her - she neither cowers before Kylo nor caters to him, ever. I love her for this, actually.

So there you have it, my messy thoughts on both TROS and 'reylo' dynamics. I cant say Im satisfied with both. There could be more, Ren could be fleshed out better in the beginning. The potential of so many characters was left undeveloped. I dont feel satiafaction even with elements I loved abt reylo bc there is no counterpart in other aspects I hoped to see developed. I wanted Rey to have more time with Finn, for Finn to have more time with Poe, for Rose to matter in tros as well. I wanted more of Rey and Leia, and for Ren to have more coherence to his character. Ultimately I got crumbs and some bits unable to be stomached.

Go and watch tros, stay in the place of engaging with this series that feels best to you, closest to your needs abd perceptions. Tros will not satisfy anyone in full, also bc of editing and the pacing - which is terrible. Reylo will either frustrate you or frustrate you for entirely different reasons. Dont take JJs shit, dont take Johnson's. Take from the saga whatever works for you.

I dont think it's possible to fully embrace reylo, without reservations. There are grounds for the so called antis to point out the toxic masculinity and potential for abuse. There are tropes suggesting romance despite this still, all in just TFA. It was a mess from the very beginning and it's normal people took sides.

I'm just glad it's finally over.