#bc why not might as well
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Vesper - Fire Genasi Rogue, a loyal member of The Black Backfire Company. My beloved dnd rogue, but also a nasty villain in my other DM's campaign! Her personality summed up is: "Feeling cute, might dig dirt on you later and blackmail you with it >:3c" while also glowing in the dark with her lava vein/scars.
#vesper#dnd#dungeons and dragons#rogue#actually spoiled by my two dms <3#fire genasi#i made a whole background for her work and lore and shit and im obessed with my own character#she lava themed fire genasi! glows in the dark rogue#you cant defeat evil OR GOOD if you dont look cute while doing it#in meanwhile in the two campaigns#in other shes buying a table for an old gith and the other shes ruining a whole powerful house in the city of brass and bunch of lives#bc why not might as well
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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ulysses would honestly be the perfect candidate for anything enemies to lovers regarding the Courier if people weren't so focused on pretending the random one off Legion members are better written than they actually are
#like. he talks to you so sweetly when you make amends. he feels guilt for it. but people dont obsess over him like they do vulpes or w/e#hmmm i wonder why that is....he doesnt get treated as well by fans as the white character whos way worse of a person.....hmmmm...../sarcasm#seriously though. considering writing some ulysses/james stuff just bc of how overlooked he is#im so obsessed with him now lonesome road might actually now be my favorite dlc#vinny rambles#fallout new vegas#lonesome road#ulysses fnv#ulysses
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i have so much band!au content in the pipeline my brain is Rotting but enjoy these two for now
jjk band!au
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuuji#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk band!au#every time i dress sukuna i stray further from gods light. what is that. what did i do why did i do that.#the pants...the mullet mohawk..the tanktop that might as well be Off...am i cooking or committing a cardinal sin who can say#i realized that i probably couldnt give him rings bc the priss wouldnt want to scuff his guitar#which goes directly against my religion that says that any modern au sukuna has to b iced up#that being said the bracelets r probably pushing it but he needed /something/ so he can deal.#but oh my god the guitars like dont get me wrong im thrilled w how they turned out but god i wished for death#looks around accusingly whose idea was this >:c (me it was mine)#anyway i am feeding myself on this au this will not be the last u see of it :)#HARD pivot from emo yoi content oops
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(OC Lore and design time!)
(it got longer again ... sorry ... idk how to make things short, i just need to talk, but i guess if you can read the written stuff in the pic thats the barest bare bones of what i wrote here)
i was asked what new lore story stuff i had thought about that made me sad which i mentioned a bit ago, and while that is too hard to explain given all the missing context i thought i could at least talk about lore having to do with it :D
so, (Lord) Eadrya is one of my fav OCs (big blue lad, here a rough sketch in humanoid form) they are both one of if not THE most powerful demon alive and the most battle trained;
at the mid point of the story the demon world gets invaded by the celestials (the angel inspired things i talked about in the previous lore post with Xaror) and Shargon, as the king, should be their first and only frontline, but at this point his life is only being sustained by maschinery after being mortally wounded, he cannot fight (he realizes what is going on, rips himself off the maschinery to get at least his youngest child to safety, barely managing it before dying- the guardian, the demons god, takes over his body to attempt to fight against the celestials but cant keep itself alive long enough since its host is already dead) Eadrya takes the role of the frontline fighter (despite being very full of themselves and aggressive they care about their 'job' of protecting their own, also giving them the chance to show off just how strong they are); the fight was going well for them all things considered, but when the guardian activates it drains the power of all elemental lords (which Eadrya is one of, and since they have the most strength it also takes the most from them), so much so that they lose the fight and suffer deadly wounds (the worst being a spear through the chest made of a material that grows hard, root-like formations when in contact with demonic blood like a fungus but worse, also stopping any self healing processes) after the guardian falls apart it creates a huge shockwave of energy that stuns every living thing within a certain distance and possibly more-
Eadrya (in true demon form, so like a blue whale in size at least) was likely taken through an active gateway to the human world in a large tidal wave also created by the guardians fall; they wash up in the harbor of a small secluded village, the head of which is 'lady 13'; although never having seen a demon before and everyone being afraid (largely thinking its a strange hurt animal, only she suspected otherwise), they still gather all villagers to pull out the celestial spear, which is diffcult and brutal given that its already taken root, but the village lacked both knowledge and means to help any other way- doing so damaged their heart which is how they were able to collect samples of all three demonic blood types ('normal' -red like humans-, energy -essentially purely magic- and heartblood -highly concentrated energy only found within the heart of a demon and the only one to contain genetic material) (this is the start of Eadryas character arc, having to deal with the fact that their world is likely destroyed, them failing what they didnt think they could fail, having lost a battle so badly (even if not really their fault) for the first time and not knowing if literally anyone else has survived .. also being now stuck in the human world, which they dont like)
Lady 13 (placeholder name? stands for experiment 13) is a human that was tricked by demon hunters to enroll into a series of experiments trying to create hybrids of demons and humans, which they hoped would be powerful and easily controllable tools for their endeavours, though the two are inherently not compatible, they tried grafting body parts of demons on humans to make them compatible- all experiments failed except for her, more or less, though she never got to see the hybrid she carried and was then told it had died too, they threw her out believing she wouldnt survive much longer either and all such experiments were cancelled due to the high cost of human life, research material (demons are still rare) and upkeep with no successful results Lady 13 survived though (perhaps even via the pirates picking her up?) and she ended up living in said small village far away, hiding her half demonic body, though most know there soemthing 'wrong' with her (her being this tall when it doesnt fit the rest for one), only few know the full extent; she enjoys the life she has now, perhaps on the more poor side but safer and more loved than ever before; she largely lead the efforts to try and help Eadrya when they ended up in the harbor, though there wasnt that much anyone could do it was still enough- they leave immediately after waking up, but return after really having nowhere to go and struggling to deal with everything that has happened; over time (probably years) they start to open up towards the people there (though not .. very much) enough to get rather close with Lady 13 too- she actually falls madly in love but after Eadrya (extremely aro/ace) rejects all her attempts quite clearly she respects their boundaries
However, after hearing news of potential demon sightings Eadrya decides to leave in hopes of not being the last demon left after all; Lady 13 then decides to reveal her secret to them (though hearing and seeing what lengths hunters would go to for their experiments makes them absolutely seething with rage- she insists on not being out for revenge) and asks if they would be willing to donate a small amount of heartblood; shes always wanted to be a mother but is now incompatible with humans too- through things she picked up back at the experiments facillity, hers and her doctors research she is sure that is all that is needed, she dares to ask since she does not know when, if ever, she will meet another demon, much less one she could actually trust enough for this though Eadrya hesitates (why would she want to go through the same thing again that didnt work and threatened her life, if it does work, do they want to be involved with any of this? what if hunters find out it worked after all?) but after her ensuring that they would have no part in it other than giving up a little blood and would not be considered a parent in any way, nor made responsible for anything that might happen to her, but considering it all in the end they agree to it
only for her to reveal shes had a small bottle of it already, along with multiple samples of the other types, which she collected when Eadrya was bleeding out into the harbor not knowing if they will survive, though not wanting to make use of it without their consent either way (they are actuallly rather touched by this)
alot later the main group returns here and it turns out to have worked (though she is unable to walk/bedridden for a long while bc it did alot of damage to her body, which can heal since its demons parts, but only really slowly bc she does not have a full functioning system and no demonic blood of her own -she uses the other samples for the healing process-) though its a little awkward to explain, especially considering that 13.1 took alot after Eadrya xD (their theory as to why it worked so "well" that time is that even though the sample was already taken, them giving their consent for it still made it less likely to be rejected; demons dont need partners to have offspring, and all can do it, they just have to decide to- so them agreeing to it, even though its long been outside their body, still had an effect on the blood sample)
#ganondoodles#art#ocs#original art#oc lore#demons#monsters#WHY does writing things liek this take me so long#i spent two hours again on this and im falling asleep as we speak bc its almost 2 am#ANYWAY this was alot again ... sorry#but its a relatively new storyline that i have been afraid of telling#since it touches on things im afraid might come across wrong and uses themes im a lil uncomfy with#but i found it interesting ... and works well with eadrya as a character bc it challenges alot about them#yes im wrote and mean this genuinely#i would have made the cut from her human body to the demon parts more smooth ... but this hard cut is the point#so that she looks rather normal on the upper part and can hide the rest#thoguh im unsure about the color scheme and if maybe i should be more creative with the demons parts#then again its largely just legs lol#if anyone actually reads this ........ i hope it comes across correctly#i like to use darker and more mature themes but am riddled with anxiety over how it will be understood#im gonna work on zelda comic stuff again now .. sorry for all the oc spam#but if there are questions PLEASE feel free to ask im pretty sure i have answers to almosst anything?#also i havent thought of a name for her or the kid .. though im starting to like lady 13#13.1 wont do as a name though poor kid deserves a proper name after already being a weird hybrid that shouldnt exist#either way ... going to bed now GOODNIGHT q-q#(any typos are excused by me being deadly tired ok)
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skully (scully??) in his element: alone in a quiet dark room with NOTHING but a single pumpkin and a light inside😌
#twst spoilers#twst event#skully j graves#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#twst#um. son boy moment. hes a lil freak but that's okay :^]#he would fit right in at nrc bc:#they all think hes a freak [they all think each other are freaks as well]#they keep annoying each other#and. well i was going to say hes dressed all dark but thats bc of the book idk what he might look like outside but#given his whole deal i feel like he probably also dresses dark lol#put this beast in diasomnia or something#also idk if he meant like a jack o lantern when he said a pumpkin w/a light#bc he was also saying NO DECORATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway i think hes funny. i wonder if hes gonna have a meltdown next week 🤔#i also feel like the way he talked in part 1 he potentially could be in there from a different time#so idk if hes gonna come out of the book w/us or be zapped back to when he found it#MISTER BOY WHY DONT YOU KNOW WHAT A MAGESTONE PEN THING IS ANSWER ME!!!!! i guess we'll see. OR NOT IDK LOL#anyway i love the event so far it's very funny#love when these children squabble nonstop forever and ever and ever and ev
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DTS S6E1 "Money Talks" - Fernando Alonso & Lance Stroll
#thought i might as well gif these#only thing in that ep worth gifing.....#cant say im not disappointed#but ill take my chances where i cna get them again#but was literally fighting in the trenches making these#gifing shows is just infinitely worse than gifing race stuff#especially since yknow this just came out today so i had to figure out how to clip it#so if its a bit choppy thats why ah#i love how fernando is such a manlet that i kinda had to crop lance out bcs i wanted to focus on nando LOL#like its so odd bcs he really doesnt look that much shorter than lance on stage in the first two#but in the last two hes literally tiny???? literally two apples tall??????#anywyas dont know if ill gif anymore of this show. it annoys me too much to watch anymore and i dont know if theres anymore of my guys#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#lance stroll#strollonso#we do a little bit of f1
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🤫
#sasdie#Supercorp au#katie mcgrath#saskia de merindol#sadie mccarthy#melissa benoist#note: apparently the name of this ship is saskie but I'm letting y'all know im not tagging it like that but as sasdie#just with the purpose of finding the stuff here in my blog bc i fully gave up on tagging stuff here cuz it's useless theses days#also idk how to explain this but for me they're literally only a Supercorp au which is why im tagging that as well#I'm sick in bed rn and i might not be making any sense rn sorry for that#peace ✌🏼
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re: that post about the lack of enrichment in trucks
i bring yet another megop au where op is another depressed fellow whose EM field is always emitting gloomy and tired vibes. vs megatron who is at his happiest when hauling materials and messing with his coworkers/friends
they haven't seen each other in years since the war ended and they signed all these treaties and paperwork !
#wip#au#op wonders why he's the only odd one from his peers that feels specially unhappy with his post-war life. he shouldn't. work pays well and h#has a house all by himself. he's not in immediate danger. no one is actively trying to kill each other. has access to energon and treats#his friends are all near him (and yet he doesn't try to contact them bc he might be bothering them)#by all means he should be happy but alas. he is not ! (sadge)#and then megatron's like YEAHH. ROCKS. I HAUL THE MATERIALS. i will dump dirt on top of you if you are distracted. do not try to tip me ove#i will punch you. oh optimus prime? idk he's probably passed away idc. look at this buiding. i'm helping#[truck with Sufficient enrichment vs truck with lack of enrichment]
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Charlie putting the padlock on the bridge for him and Tao was actually one of my favourite scenes of the season. The way this scene shows the importance of friendship and puts platonic relationships on the same level as romantic ones is so fucking refreshing to me. Taking such an inherently romantic action and just making it not romantic in the slightest but about Charlie's love for his best friend that is equally important to the love he has for his boyfriend is so beautiful and important to me.
Heartstopper obviously does put a huge focus on different queer romantic relationships but I absolutely adore the way the second season portrays queer friendships and doesn't make them seem less worth than the romantic ones.
#i love how alice oseman writes any sort of relationship#i think it's very nuanced and every relationship is different and important#and i think part of why she does write relationships so well and so realistically might actually be because they're aspec#it's nice#it's good#i love to consume her media#bc it makes me feel seen#heartstopper#heartstopper spoilers#heartstopper netflix#charlie spring#tao xu#alice oseman
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#STOP IM LITERALLY CRYING#This poor boy#sharing a meme bc why not#might as well attempt something#tokyo revengers#tokyo rev#tokyo revengers meme#Sanzu#Tokyo rev meme#tokyo revengers sanzu#haruchiyo sanzu#sanzu haruchiyo#sanzu headcanons#sanzu haruchiyo x reader#sanzu x reader#yandere tokyo revengers#soft yandere#yandere Sanzu#yandere themes#yandere
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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PLS PLS PLSSSSS keep talking about kids with olympic athletes! gojo and nanami pls pls pls i have to Know. everything u wrote about yuuta was already so so cute
(prev olympics au here)
the gojo twins are hilarious because your baby boy looks exactly like satoru, but has very little of his personality—it seems like the only things he inherited was satoru’s love for sweets and love for you. still, even though he’s a strong swimmer, he much prefers to relax in his floaties alongside you if you’re also in the pool, or chill by your side on a lounge chair, glasses too big for his face keeping the sun out of his eyes as he shares his smoothie with you, and asks to borrow your phone to take pictures of his sister and daddy in the pool.
your baby girl on the other hand… she might have your face but she’s got satoru’s everything else—his competitive streak, his confidence, and definitely his mischievous nature. she’s the one who tiptoes into your bedroom at five in the morning, tapping at her daddy’s shoulders, and putting her little finger over his lip to shush him before he can wake you up; she’s always the one to convince satoru to take her swimming the backyard at the crack of dawn, and why by the time you and your baby boy wake up, she and satoru are already past warm up laps and swimming lessons and onto who can make the splashiest canonball competitions (she always wins because while her tiny body can endure a belly flop, satoru’s years of training physically doesn’t allow him to do it… and maybe because he’s not so competitive when it comes to his baby girl, he’ll always let her win).
kento’s professional judo career honestly doesn’t last very long. after his first olympic games, you two start dating and he proposes just after he wins gold the second time he’s in the olympics; he does maybe two more years of national competitions while you’re pregnant, and decides that the intense training for the next two years in preparation of a third olympic competition isn’t worth missing time he could spend with you or your baby girl—plus, with all the money he’s made from competitions, winning gold medals, brand ambassadorships, commercials, and collaborations, he had enough money to provide for all of your for the rest of your lives. so, that’s what he does (his dream has always been to be a househusband, anyway...) his previous salaryman career comes in handy when deciding how to invest his money, how to buy a house, how to take care of his friends, how to set up a fund for your daughter, and an extra account or two… just incase more babies come along…
by the time your baby girl is four, she’s already kento’s biggest fan. she loudly and proudly proclaims to everybody that her daddy was basically superman and won all the shiny trophies and medals in the house from when he was being a superhero. if anyone recognizes kento when they’re out together, she always confirms their suspicions, proudly boasting, “yeah kento is my daddy! he’s a winner!” it always makes kento’s heart swell to hear her praise. he doesn’t compete professionally anymore, but he does train from time to time, and has taken on a few mentees, and your daughter LOVES to watch him coach/train. she’s got her own uniform that she always puts on whenever they go to the gym together, and gets so excited when kento or ino or yuuji pretend to spar with her.
she’s honestly kento’s mini figure. she’s respectful and reserved, but strong and knows when to fight and how to use her voice. there’s a time when he gets a call from her school saying that she got in a fight, the principal frames it as your daughter needlessly pushing around an older kid, but your daughter is certain in her words when she tells her dad that it was because the kid was being mean to the younger kids, and to her. kento doesn’t say a word to the teachers—doesn’t even fight them sending her home early for the day, because he’s happy to scoop her up and take her out for ice cream and tell her that he’s proud of her.
#anonymous#gojo twins r so real to me... one looks like him but does Not act like him and the other one does not look like him but might as well Be Hi#and he loves n smothers them both so much....#kento goes from salaryman to professional athlete to househusband he really does live the dream life LOLLL#see also: kento's baby girl 🤝 satoru's baby girl = best friends LOLL#in my head kento and satoru are olympians at the same time/know each other#but yuuji isn't he has his own story/trajectory#which is why he is nanami's mentee in This Universe#actually i think yuuji's kinda exists on his own#and all his friends/his circle are real proud of him when it's all said n done yk#nobara teases him about finally putting his strength to good use megumi is proud in his own way#his grandpa and nanami are obviously proud of him and he comes home w a gold medal#and is basically a hero in his tiny home town#(also time for me to introduce my favorite hc: yuuta and yuuji childhood friends bc they're from the same city)#the narutoism of it all... he comes home w gold and everyone basically tosses him up and down... angel boy :(#megumi kinda exists in the kento/satoru world too i think... nd before him there was toji#wait maybe yuuta and yuuji can exist in the same timeline nd everyones like what r the odds those two kids from sendai are olympians#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#nanami kento x reader#kento x reader#think tho in the yuuta/yuuji olympics verse yuuji competes 2 or maybe 3 times (so total of 12 years) nd then quits#not because he's gotten weaker but just because he really did it for the money yk but he's set for life now#honestly he was set after the first time but he just wanted to be sure/you and his grandpa encouraged him to at least do it to have Fun#this time around so he does#but for yuuta this is his Career yk like he loves tennis#he's not in it for the olympics he just likes it and happens to be real good at it#two of them talking about each other in press conferences so cute
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look i love timkon and i learned to like timbern (sometimes), but in honor of pride month, i really think we should diversify into niche tim drake mlm ships, we haven't made use of the opportunities it gives us
#leave possibilities in this post pls#bc just outta the top of my head#cullen row#nvmd he might be too young#bart allen#timbart#kaldur'ahm#connor hawke#sebastian ives#garfield logan#like sure they have been shipping raven x damian#but what if we just go to the mlm version of that#jon kent would also be really funny but for many reasons i'm not tagging it here#tim drake#batman#red robin#dc#tim drake wayne#batfamily#bruce wayne#let him be slutty with men as well#like he has dated all over dc LET HIM DATE LOADS OF MEN#i don't get why we can't have playboy queers#timkon
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like the important thing you must keep in mind about ten when you see him do literally anything is that he's soooooooooo so so so bad at actually isolating himself from other people. so TERMINALLY bad at it. he thinks to himself "i don't need human connection because everything i do causes pain and destruction to those around me :(" but then he experiences a crumb of human connection and his heart starts to spill out of his chest
#tenth doctor#dr who#doctor who#yeah i say heart singular cuz he said 'i suppose they break my heart' in the next doctor and i have perma brain damage over it#btw. this is why him and martha in the first half of series 3 are Like That. he trusts her deeply but he also doesn't want to form#another deep emotional connection bc look what happened with rose! right! i think partially the reason why he#has his moments of opening up about his past is because he thinks 'well she isn't going to see me again after this'#'i might as well tell her if she asks. it may even scare her off'. this is INSANE. he is INSANE. and he is so fucking STUPID#fool! you are developing a connection with someone!!!!!!! not pushing them away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#look at what you are doing to martha's self esteem bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#10 era
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hilarious mpreg zosan thought, sanji has a kid that has green hair but its not zoros kid. he has in fact never disclosed who the other father was (choose ur own adventure dead beat dad edition) and his siblings already have amazing technicolour hair so its not outside the realm of possibility for his biological children to also have weird hair colours. but when the kid pops out with green hair everyone immediately connects the dots that hey, doesnt the strawhats first mate that sanji famously doesn't get along with also have green hair? is this why sanji never said who the other father was? hes a fucking dead beat! get his ass!
this misconception integrates into everyones mind bc it makes too much sense to not be true and everyone is suddenly deadset on "protecting sanjis honour" and making zoro "take responsibility"
sanji is screaming crying throwing up disgusted bc no!!! the shitty mosshead is not the father!!! stop saying that!!!! but since he still wont say who the actual father is, everyone is just like its ok sanji, you dont have to defend a deadbeat even if he is your crewmate and sanji has no choice but to kill himself and also zoro for daring to have green hair
when the strawhats show up for sanjis baby shower they also unanimously come to the misunderstanding that sanji and zoro totally boned. franky goes as far as to call the kid mini marimo. brook makes a hundred innuendos, chopper is upset at the implication of them having unsafe sex, and robin alludes to "knowing all along" in a very ambiguous way. usopp is the only one who refuses to connect the dots and he is sanjis favourite strawhat fr. jinbei pats sanji on the back and says he hopes they work through their differences for the sake of their kid. sanji is dying, youre killing him, you're killing your cook
even more shenanigans ensue when zoro shows up 3 whole days late to the baby shower and is gaslit into thinking hes the father by everyone in attendance despite being Pretty Sure that he and sanji never fucked. zeff gives a pretty good shovel talk and nami gives an even better one (debt increment is involved) while zeff nods approvingly behind her and then luffy slingshots in all parents should be married right? and doesnt wait for an answer
anyway, like 2 hours later zosan find themselves standing at a makeshift altar on the thousand sunny, saying their vows. sanji insists to the very end that zoro is not the father so they dont need to get married but alas luffy isnt giving him a choice in this (he wants to eat wedding cake)
to sanjis eternal despair, the kid grows up to really like swords
additional zosan thought, sanji does not help things by shouting "this is all your fault!" the moment he sees zoro. zoro is futher gaslit
#mine#zosan#one piece#love putting them in the funniest scenarios possible#the kid also cant be convinced that zoro isnt their actual father#i think zoro does his whole wandering swordsman thing and sanji has to endure lovelorn husband jokes#angst alternative: zoro is in fact the father but does not remember their one night stand bc he was black out drunk#and sanji refuses to be the only one that remembers their ~night of passion~ and decides to keep the father a secret#luffy forces them to get married anyway#op#this got kinda long oops#dont ask me why the baby shower lasts over 3 days i just think the strawhats party hard and party rock and theyd definitely go all out here#zoro in this is very much embodying this might as well happen
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