#bc we have figured out that its the 30th

[lindenattic]

AGWDCU BREAKTHROUGH @funeralend @endless-nighttimesky @mrstarship idk who else is involved in the hunt. i believe its the same show as the white dress photos but im not 1000% certain. video posted to youtube 01-14-06 but doesn't have date filmed or location. theres stuff about anthony's left wrist tattoo that puts the show after 10-15-05 which is a nice 3 month window. i normally try to figure out date by checking the op's other stuff for location – i'm not getting a clear read, but possibly LA? which would put this at most likely 10-29-05 or 10-30-05 which keeps with circa's apparent theme of wearing dresses for shows near halloween! ok actually with all that i think its a match

[midnightcitymoon]

Viv and I reconcile and are close friends again this summer

11:11 ☆MiracleMakeAWishComeTrueSpell🌙

Eleven-Eleven, This is a call to all angels in heaven, give me a miracle and make my wish come true!

🌜☄⭐🕤🕙🕦⭐🕯🕯📰🎁🎆🎈🎉🎖🔜🔝🔔🕯💰📰💳📧📭🔥🗝🔮🛡🌟☄🌛🌞🌈

Like to Charge, Reblog To Cast spell

[aphroditeinthesea]

“ the best thing that’s ever been mine ”

jason grace x greek!fem!reader ⚡

a quest turned unforgettable

a/n happy 30th birthday loml (bc he's very alive xo)

⋆ ˚｡ ⚡︎♡⚡︎ ˚｡ ⋆

Y/N was already exhausted. She joined Jason on their last quest before they would be off to New Rome University.

“There’s too many choices,” she complained, laying upside down on the motel bed in a random small town in Vermont, “I cannot decide between journalism and creative writing.”

The tall blond walked out of the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe. He held his toothbrush that was still covered in the blue paste, “why don't you do both?”

She thought for a second, “I’ll decide when we get there, I guess.”

He leaned back inside the bathroom to spit in the sink before joining her on the bed. She leaned over, laying her head in his lap so her so he could play with her hair, “two weeks.”

“Ugh,” she scrunched her face, “that’s so weird.”

“It’s not that weird,” he laughed, “it’s nice. We’re gonna be moving in together, every night can be like this.”

She smiled, sitting up, “seems too good to be true.”

He trailed his arm around her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder, “I know, every morning I actually have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not still dreaming,” he melancholically smiled, “I have to make sure I have this life, that this is actually happening to me,” he looked down at her, “and that you're real.”

She bit her lip, smiling, “cheesy.”

“Hey!” He defended, “I open up to you and get called cheesy?”

She giggled, “sorry, sorry,” she pressed a kiss to his cheek, causing his expression to soften, “I just think it’s cute you think I might not be real.”

“How is that cute?” he laughed. She kneeled on the bed to now be taller than him, “because it means you love me.”

He laid back, pulling her down with him, “love isn't a strong enough word, sweetheart.”

“Hm,” she positioned herself on her elbows, “then what is?”

“I don't think there’s a word for it.”

“Enamored, adoration, agape?”

“Did you just open a thesaurus?”

She cackled, throwing her head back, “it’s called a brain, blondie.”

“Sorry, I’ve never heard of that,” he joked.

She leaned up, kissing the corner of his mouth, “most people’s are in their head, but yours might be here,” she held onto his bicep.

“Wow, Y/N,” he sighed, “where’s yours then?”

She shrugged, sitting up to lean on the headboard, “considering I came on this quest, because I didn't want to leave you, I say here,” she answered, pointing to her chest.

“Your heart?” he grinned.

“No, my boobs.”

He let out a bray laugh, throwing himself onto a pillow. She grabbed another pillow to hit him with.

“Ow!”

“That did not hurt.”

“It could’ve,” he responded.

“You’ve been stabbed countless times, I think you can handle a feather pillow.”

“Wow, hit me where it hurts,” he sarcastically replied.

“Okay,” she smiled, hitting him again.

“Y/N!” He yelped, shielding his face with his arms.

She hit him again, and again, and again. When she finally stopped, he stared up at her in a way that his blue eyes might as well be shaped like hearts, “Jason?”

“Will you marry me?”

Her eyes widened, she trailed his face, trying to figure out whether or not he was being serious. The way his eyebrows nervously creased and a soft smile curved on his lips, told her all she needed to know.

“When?”

He sat up with her, “really?”

She bit her bottom lip before a smile found its way to her cheeks, “I love you more than anything, Jase. We might as well.”

He kissed her, tightly holding her face in his hands. She was first to pull away, although still tracing his bottom lip with her thumb, “there’s a convenience store, across the street.”

“Yeah?”

“I bet they sell ring pops.”

“Oh?” he looked at her for a second, “let’s go.” He quickly got up, pulling on a hoodie. She followed, putting on a pair of leggings to pair with the oversized t-shirt that belonged to her boyfriend. Scratch that. Fiancé. “Ready?” He smiled with an outstretched hand.

She took his hand in hers, “ready.”

They rushed out of their room in a fit of giggles. The thought they probably woke up a few of the other people staying there crossed both their minds for a quick second before the true situation was the only thing they could think about. They were gonna get married.

They stepped out to see the empty streets and sidewalks. She briefly looked up at Jason, “Jay?”

“Yeah?” He looked down to her with an unfaltering smile on his lips.

“Are we dumb?”

He thought for a second, looking at the stars that were so clear in the Vermont sky where there was maybe one streetlight in sight. “No.”

She laughed, leaning her head against his arm as they crossed the street, where Jason insisted on looking both ways even though there wasn't a car in a hundred mile radius. “I think we’re idiots.”

“You're the only one,” he paused, “I mean the only one who thinks that,” he defended, “not the only idiot.” He stopped again before continuing, “not that either of us are idiots, we’re very smart actually. This is a smart thing to do.” He kissed her head as she stifled laughs at the boy’s nervousness. He opened the door of the convenience store, letting her walk in first.

She crossed her arms, “when we get back to camp, Annabeth gonna be on our asses about this.”

“Hey,” he turned around to grab both her hands, “you wanna do this, right?”

She leaned up to kiss his lips, “more than anything.”

“Good,” he grabbed something off a shelf to look at to divert his gaze from her shining eyes, “because I don't think I’ve ever been happier than right now.”

She tilted her head. She placed her hand under his chin to get him to look at her once more, “seriously?”

He looked around awkwardly. He then placed his lips to hers as he whispered, “you’re the greatest thing in my life. I love you more than anything.”

Her smile beamed at him, “I love you, too, blondie.”

He laughed, “then let’s get some rings.”

They aimlessly wandered the small store to look for the candy aisle. They giddily pranced into the section.

“Okay, what’s your favorite flavor?” He asked her as they stood before the ring pops.

“Cherry,” She leaned forward to grab the package, she turned to look back at the son of Jupiter, “what about you?”

“I don't know,” he shrugged, “I’ve actually never had one.”

“No way,” she grinned. “Here,” she picked through the flavors, “I think you’d like this one,” she handed him the blue raspberry candy, “it matches your eyes.”

“Thanks, love,” he took it from her grasp before grabbing her free hand, “you wanna go get married now?”

Her heart fluttered at the reminder of what they were truly doing. They were getting married. They were going to be husband and wife. Bounded by holy matrimony.

“You okay?”

She quickly nodded, “never been better.”

They hurriedly checked out and rushed out of the store. They both stopped in their tracks just outside of the store.

“Where are we getting married?” He mentioned, looking down at the girl.

“Yeah, I don't know.”

“Wait, one second,” he let go of her hand to grab his phone out of his pocket.

“If you get any single out here, I think it’s a sign we have to get married.”

He chuckled, typing into Google. “Hey, wait, there’s a chapel ten minutes away.”

“You're kidding,” she responded, leaning against him to see his phone, “but it closes in five minutes?” she frowned.

“Hold on,” he dialed in the phone number he found on the website. He held his phone to his ear, a few seconds passed before he spoke, “hello? Sorry, I know it’s late but- yeah, we were hoping we could get married tonight,” he locked eyes with her as he continued, “uhm, Y/N L/N and Jason Grace,” he went silent for a minute, “really? That’d be amazing, thank you so much. We’ll be right there.” He placed his phone back in his pocket, “we’re getting married tonight,” he couldn't have smiled any wider when he spoke.

She laughed in amazement. She jumped up, wrapping her arms around his neck, “we’re getting married!” she nearly shouted. 

He kissed her hair, tightly holding her, “we’re getting married,” he slowly let go of her, “but we have to hurry.”

“Right,” she nodded. I want to say that they flew there as in they just drove really fast, but they did in fact fly there. Above the wooded forest that lined the streets. When they finally arrived at the chapel, there was a singular light on by the front door and a sign with missing letters that read Elysium Wedding Chapel.

“Elysium,” she spoke, “are you serious?”

“A little threatening,” Jason joked as they walked closer to the white building. He squeezed her hand as he knocked on the door.

An older woman, about 70 or so, answered the door. A smile donned her face as her eyes met the two, “you must be Y/N and Jason! Come in!” She led the two of them into what looked to be a living room with pink and floral furniture that looked to be from the fifties or so.

“Thank you for taking us so late,” Jason mentioned as the woman opened a large book. She stood under an arch adorned with fake pink flowers and green vines.

“Nonsense,” she replied, “we hardly ever get visitors,” another woman, who seemed a bit younger walked in, “oh! Here’s my daughter, Alexandria, she’ll be your witness.”

“Nice to meet you,” Alexandria said, “you two look young, how old are you?”

“We’re eighteen,” Y/N answered, her arm now locked with Jason and her hand holding his.

“Oh my!” Both women exclaimed, causing giggles from the couple. The older woman seemed as though she was about to speak again but suddenly began looking around the stand where the book was on.

“Geez Louise, I lost my glasses again,” she shook her head, “I’ll be right back.” With that, she scurried out of the room.

There was a moment of silence before Alexandria began to speak, “you know why we call it the Elysium Wedding Chapel?”

They both shook their heads, momentarily sharing a look before turning back to the woman.

“Elysium was the Greek equivalent of Heaven. So, when my mother and father opened this place, they thought about how romantic the Greeks were and decided to name it after their Heaven.”

“That’s amazing,” Y/N responded. She then looked up at the blond, “right, sweetheart?”

He smirked, “yeah, the Greeks really were romantic.” There were those heart eyes again. He soon looked at the woman, “she’s Greek actually,” his head motioned towards his soon-to-be wife.

“I should've known,” the elder added, “Greek girls are always the prettiest.” (i’m totally not just saying that because i’m greek.)

Y/N grinned, “thank you.”

The older woman once again came into the room, “found them! Now, let’s get this show on the road.” She guided the couple to the arch, “you two hold hands.” The two mirrored each other, both distracted by the adrenaline in their veins to think straight. It was finally becoming real, that they were to be married in the next few minutes.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony,” she turned to Jason, “do you have vows you wish to read.”

They shared a look. Jason’s hands sweated in Y/N’s grasp. Sky blue eyes met e/c ones as his mouth opened, “Y/N, I know you already know this, but I love you, so much,” he blinked in an attempt to stop himself crying, “I never thought that I could be loved in the capacity that you do. I always was taught to believe that I was nothing but a soldier,” he hesitated, realizing how strange that must've sounded to the strangers, “but I think you freed me and I’ll forever thank you for that, Y/N.” “Damn it,” she mumbled as tears began to spill, “Jason, if anyone asked, you are the most incredible person to walk this planet. You are the most selfless, caring, loving person I have ever met. Since the day I met you, I knew I never wanted to be away from you for a second, and there would be no greater gift than spending my life with you.” He let his tears rain down when she finished. He looked down as he tried to gather himself.

The woman turned to Jason, “do you Jason, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

He sniffled, “I do.”

“Do you Y/N, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

Y/N widely smiled, her cheeks hurting from how much she had done so that evening, “I do. I really do.”

“Rings?” The woman questioned.

“Right, sorry,” he grabbed the bag he had left on a nearby table.

“Oh!” The woman raised her eyebrows, “ring pops?”

“The only thing we could get on short notice,” Y/N mentioned, smiling through the tears on her face.

“Okay, then,” the woman laughed, “repeat after me,” Jason tightly held onto the cherry candy, “with this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed,” he slipped the ring onto the girl.

Y/N’s hands began to shake, “with this ring, I thee wed,” she repeated.

The woman clasped her hands together, “by the power invested in me, I pronounce you, Jason Grace and Y/N L/N, man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Jason took her face in his hands, bringing their lips together. She could taste the salt on his lips from the tears, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was kissing her husband.

They left the chapel, hand in hand. No words were said on their way back to the motel. They had said everything they had needed to say for centuries. But just before they entered the room, Jason stopped her.

“What?” She questioned, looking around.

He opened the door before turning back and picking her up bridal style, “I had to,” he smiled. She threw her head back, laughing. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they walked into the room. He placed her softly on the bed, hovering over her.

“I love you, Mrs. Grace,” he whispered just as he pressed a kiss to her lips.

She brushed her thumbs against his cheeks, “I love you, Mr. Grace.” He kissed her once more, “hm, you take good, too.”

He chuckled, “so do you.”

“I think we should always eat ring pops before we kiss.”

He kissed her neck before looking back up at her, “anything you want.”

-----

bonus! 

Y/N and her secret husband sat side by side on the grass of Camp Half Blood alongside the rest of the Seven as well as Nico and Will.

“Why are you wearing an old ring pop?” Annabeth queried.

“Oh, uhm,” Y/N panicked as she scrambled to find an answer.

Leo interrupted before she could say anything, “I was asking Jason the same thing earlier!”

That’s when the daughter of Athena noticed the matching ring on the boy’s left ring finger. She looked back up at Y/N, “you didn't.”

“Annabeth-”

“You got married!” the blonde girl exclaimed.

Everyone crowded around the two asking questions about what happened.

“I can’t believe you didn't tell us,” Percy commented, crossing arms.

“We didn't tell anyone,” Jason defended, “we barely knew what was happening!”

“I can't believe you didn't choose me as your best man,” Leo offensively added.

The blond rubbed his forehead, “I didn't have a best man at all, Leo.”

“How did it happen?” Piper questioned, leaning closer to the two.

“If you guys would shut up for five seconds, we’ll tell you,” Y/N responded.

They both went on to tell the group everything. From the pillow fight, to the vows. The way they laughed and talked over each other made them realize that husband and wife was the simplest way you could describe them.

[shouyuus]

new ask on the new blog!! i love the aesthetics!

glad to hear that things are going well on your part!! and yeah, i remember back in the days fandom on tumblr was more interactive, but it was also when we were all stuck at home because of external circumstances :’) i wish your bf all the best for finding a job… TT . TT i technically can enter tech, but i study design. i know user interface & user experience is an overlap of design and tech, but it’s highly competitive and i don’t really have the confidence… i don’t have a good portfolio to fall back on, haha. i think… looking at current happenings i am not optimistic about the economy either, but i will stay positive that eventually i’ll find something…

happy 30th birthday btw!!! what are 3 advice / tips you gained abt life or writing? (no pressure) — @anonymilk

you are so right soy sauce is the backbone of any great culinary dish… so are fics… i didn’t know soy sauce is shouyou in japanese! that makes your fic rec blog makes sense. ahhh, that’s so cute that your blog is technically soy sauce with inspiration from hinata and ur own name. i really like urls like that. so much story and meaning behind it XD how was it like setting up a brand new blog? any thing u might have done differently? — @anonymilk oh yes… what does it mean when a series is limited… — @anonymilk

gonna combine ur asks !!! hehe so! yes - the tech market is hard rn but i have faith and he's the best boi so he'll find something eventually; i think you'll def find something too! unfortunately i think in this economy, it rly just is about grinding and sending out a bunch of apps, and then eventually, something will come around.

thank u for the bday wishes!!!! hmmm 3 pieces of advice? i think:

don't be afraid of being silly! growing up is overrated and yes, there's a time and a place for that, but don't let go of the things that bring you joy, no matter how "weird" they are, or how "niche" or whatever. if it makes u happy, then it makes you happy!

sometimes ur emotions aren't a choice, but whenever they are, you're allowed to make the choice to not feel a thing -- this was a bit harder for me to learn, bc its hard to think of being like "in control" of ur emotions without trying to be like deny, deny, nope, nope, nope. but at least for me "choosing" not to feel a certain type of way is acknowledging like "cool okay so, my body/brain is having this type of kneejerk reaction, and that's fine, but also im not gonna let it consume me" and after that, it gets a bit easier to handle

specifically about writing? don't be so hard on urself! :) this is a true passion project right -- we don't make money, we do it bc we want to and it makes us happy, and it maybe makes a few other ppl happy too, and that's a pretty cool thing! ur allowed to take breaks, to step away, to do you and live ur life and come back to this hobby later! it'll always be here waiting for you

T B H setting up the new blog was kinda stressful but FUn stressful. like it took an obscene amount of time to figure out the kind of aesthetic i wanted to have, and then to like... re-acquaint myself with html and photoshop and all that LOL but im rly happy with how it's turning out so far !!!

and yES so a limited series is just like... a mini-series. so in tv that's like 3-4 episodes instead of a 10-12 episode "season" of tv. and i borrowed that term bc instead of having like 10 chapters, this "series" is only rly like... 4 chapters and a bit more so !!! that's all!

[elenavonkrolock]

Jekyll & Hyde - SPB, 29.12.22 - Review

I finally got around to writing my reviews about J&H and Bal Vampirov. Since I saw different casts at different dates and I suppose this is gonna be a really long post I decided to split it into three parts and write a separate review for each show))

Theatre of Musical Comedy, Saint Petersburg, 29.12.2022г.

cast:

Jekyll/Hyde - Kirill Gordeev

Lucy Harris - Nataliya Dievskaya

Emma Carew - Elena Gazaeva

John Utterson - Konstantin Kitanin

Sir Danvers - Andrey Matveev

Lady Beaconsfield - Elena Zabrodina

Nellie - Maria Reshavskaya

Spider - Alexey Shtykov

Simon Stride - Vitaliy Golovkin

Review —

Starting with some random information. I have to mention I have bootlegs of the show in several cast compositions many times but, especially since the show closed now, I was glad I managed to see some of the last performances live. In fact, I only had a ticket for the 30th at first and thought I would only make it to the stagedoor on 29th but when around 3,5 hours before the show as by a wonder a ticket appeared, I, of course, decided to take it in a heartbeat. Since I was staying in an apartment not very far from the theatre I went there a little earlier and met outside with friends. After a while I then noticed that someone was greeting me and when I turned around I figured out it was Elena, who just came to the theatre to get ready for the show. I then rushed to greet her as well, she congratulated me on getting to Piter again (since ofc she knew about my ✨adventure✨ at the border control the other day😵‍💫) and I also managed to hand over the bouquet of flowers I bought for her. 🥰 Honestly, after this small, coincidental meet-up my mood already went up by 1000 but by then I did not even expect just how much better this evening was still going to become. We then went inside the theatre, met some more friends there and just walked around, taking pictures. I also got a programme of the show which I asked some of the actors to sign the next day.

The show - I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to even closely describe my amazement about this show in words but overall it really was a breathtaking and fantastic experience and (no shade to other productions, I love the musical in general) I am now even more convinced that the Russian production is my favourite out of them. The costumes are gorgeous, the whole cast and ensemble is great, the orchestra and the music itself are also amazing… I was already impressed when the show started with Kirill’s Doctor Jekyll from the off giving some kind of “introduction” to the show and sort of explaining how every person is split into good and bad etc. also I really loved the stage design and how the scenery on stage switched for almost every scene, starting with scenes in the madhouse and then switching to Sie Danvers’ home, the red rat, and Doctor Jekyll’s Study or Laboratory all the time. 'Lost in the darkness' and 'I need to know' right at the beginning were really great scenes and I also have to remark that 'facade' (and its 1000 reprises) and the ensemble dancing scenes in general were really impressing. At the end of act 1 Hyde was sort of lighting a flame on stage and even though I sat in the 7th row, I was able to feel the warmth on my face.. (I’ll just mention my absolute favourites now bc otherwise it’s gonna be too long) One of my favourites was definitely the engagement scene, which was absolutely adorable. Also the fact that Henry and Emma wore matching clothes almost made my heart melt.🥺 I also adored the 'his work and nothing more' part. 'Alive' and 'dangerous game' were some really hot scenes as well, as was confrontation. At 'a new life' and ‘once upon a dream' I had trouble holding back my tears. And, I know it’s a very unpopular opinion, but ‘in his eyes' will forever be among my most favourite scenes in the whole show. Especially in this composition because Elena and Nataliya just sounded really great together. The final also left me in tears. This time was by the way one of the shows where Emma also dies in the end :'( So overall, the whole show was amazing.

Cast - starting with Jekyll/Hyde of course. As you might know, my favourite J&H unfortunately hasn’t been playing since 2018, so I had no chance of seeing him. Nevertheless, I saw both Kirill and Roman now and they were both great, though very different (about Roman I’ll write in the other review). To sum up, Kirill was an exceptional J&H, he found the perfect balance between a very introverted doctor who is pretty much focused on his work only and evil, savage Mr Hyde. To me personally, his Henry even seemed less sociable and a bit more cold/withdrawn than some other portrayals I’ve seen. While for others it seems the extreme obsession with work only developes over the course of the show and they did care a lot more for Emma before all that, he really seems to have chosen his work as his top priority right from the start and she only comes second. Nevertheless, the chemistry between him and Elena (and Natasha as well) was really good and they seemed like a very sweet couple during their engagement. Moreover, I have noticed that you sometimes see Hydes who are acting more beast-like and wild while others, like Kirill’s, seem to focus more on the evil, maniac side of the character. Overall, I really enjoyed his portrayal though. Emma. My favourite. I have to admit I wasn’t a huge fan of Emma and always thought she’s a rather boring character - until I saw Elena’s portrayal of her. I could write hours about how much I love her Emma, but to sum up she was just amazing, both vocally and acting-wise. Her Emma was very tender, always loving, kind and supportive towards Jekyll, but at the same time she had this strong and independent side to her, which was visible especially in her interactions with stride at the beginning. She’s pretty much driven by her love for Henry, never leaving his side and always believing in him, even if nobody else does, even though it is noticeable that she has her doubts later on and that she really suffers from her fiancé’s constant absence and Lena just portrayed all of this perfectly. Nataliya as Lucy was also great. I really enjoyed watching her 'bring on the men' and the scenes in the red rat in the beginning but at the same time I suffered with her during 'a new life' and her death left me in tears as well. It’s just impossible to not feel touched by her story seeing how such a kind-hearted woman who never gives up believing in her dream and hoping for a new life, despite her position in society, has to go through so much suffering…

stage door - first of all, right after the show I got a chance to take a picture with Emma in costume and after that and after I went to get my jacket from the wardrobe, I went out to the stage door, met some more friends there and then we waited for the actors together. There were masses of people that day, so I was really worried I wouldn’t be able to take photos or ask for autographs. I almost didn’t notice when Elena came out because she was surrounded by such a huge crowd of people. Luckily, my friend told her that I’d like to see her and ask to sign something again and she came to us right away, took some pics with me and signed my photo album with the photos with her from another concert in September before she left. She’s the sweetest, honestly, I can’t even describe how much I love her <3 When the crowd started to disappear I also managed to take a picture with Kirill. We stayed for a little longer and suddenly noticed that someone had placed some huge plastic cherries next to Kirill in front of the stage door. They were gone again later, but up to this date, we haven’t figured out why they were standing there. I showed Elena the photo with the cherries later and asked whether she knows, since I suggested it might’ve been a present for Kirill, but she didn’t know anything about it either. We later figured out they were taken away from a café nearby and placed there. Why is still unknown. Anyways, that was my first Jekyll&Hyde💗 I’ll write the second review tomorrow! If you have questions/remarks whatsoever, feel free to ask, comment, text me etc)

Should I post some of the photos as well? :D

[ultraviolencced]

work was So Much im so Tired™️

[100493503004422]

This isn’t a hang up I just really love telling this story bc it makes us looks like idiots. My best friend and I met 1st day of college, she moved in across the hall and was like a super bad, noisy neighbor. So I went to complain to her and somehow we became friends, then best friends very quickly. We have been inseparable. And it’s taken us literally 12 years to realise that we’ve been stupidly, madly in love since like 6 months after we met. Both of us have had relationships break up because they couldn’t handle our friendship. She had to move abroad for a year for work a couple of years ago and she wrote me a letter literally every single day, sometimes she’d draw pictures of things she saw on her commute but didn’t want to take a picture of so that “you know that I thought so deeply of you, that they’ll always be intrinsically connected with you”. For my 30th birthday she annotated a copy of the first book we ever talked about, it was colour coded and had its own dewey decimal system, she made a custom QR code that lead to a google doc containing further detail and anecdotes. I’ve never liked a single person she’s ever been with, even though most of them were fine. I always picked her first for sports bc I can’t imagine being on a team she’s not also on, even though she fucking sucks at sports. And because we’re both relatively competent in most other areas of life, our mutual friends just assumed that we knew we were in love and were choosing not to be together by choice. But No. We both just thought that these were perfectly normal Best Friend Gal Pal things and it took us 12 years to figure out they’re not. Our relationship had a 12 year slow burn because we were too oblivious to realise that it was more than just really intense friendship.

(we’re together now though, it worked out in the end).

this is so funny 12 years is such a long time but I'm happy that you figured it out

[zathechaosgod]

Favourite Stream Moments:

Streamed by Philza on Twitch on Monday 30th of November

Dream smp today!

(also I figured out the read more thing so the tags aren’t just my post anymore :D

Time to get more stacked today! (aka become absolutely op compared to the rest of the server lmao)

(with certain exceptions ofc but yknow)

1mil vid is on the way! Just thumbnail stuff left to finish!

Alerts are behind again rip (16k viewers before even playing yes!)

Scam train level 5 pog (although it crashed on his end)

little blade lives on!

“the entirety of l’manberg is covered in obsidian because tommy did an oopsy”

(if that’s what you want to call it lol)

FISHING STREAM (in the first five minutes lmao)

Phil called Ranboo being in the spider grinder lmao, he could tell from the lag

FIEST TRY GOD ROD WHAT

(LUCK OF THE SEA 3, LURE 3, UNBREAKING 3)

ONLY THING MISSING IS MENDING WHAT

ALSO SHOUTOUT TO ASHE FOR GIFTING SUBS I ACTUALLY GOT ONE WOW

ranboo just threatened puffy’s mushroom house, then went “idk what happened to it”

fishing stream and now hoping for a mending book!

Phil wants to take the sign down (yknow, ranboos pc background) bc it’s iconic but it ruins like, every clip/screenshot in the area

WILBUR WANTS (MAYBE) TO MAKE SOMETHING CANON REGARDING HIS MOTHER AND PHIL DOES NOT WANT THAT

It’s gonna be another fish isn’t it

WTF ITS NOT MENDING BUT IT IS LIKE, EVERYTHING ELSE FOR A SWORD

Also lol apparently ranboo moved into tommy’s house (build by phil) bc, and i quote, “the child doesn’t fucking use it”

rip the camera? it’s showing the menu lmao

also shoutout to the lesbian donating to beg her gf for some attention lmao

time to commit deforestation to the entire dream smp~~

i looked up bubble guppies for it, but yeah, i kinda get it

lmao phil started cutting down a tree and there was just a creeper chilling directly behind it

mic scuffed now oof

time to get a new pc ig

Somwhere else from Muzz is on and i’m having such terra swoop force vibes i can’t wait for the sequel

Phil had flashbacks going near his old retail store and i vibe with that tbh

Phil is suffering so much while chopping wood bc there’s like 3 people max who chop trees properly

lmao phil misspoke and called tommy fundy’s brother

then he corrected it and now chat is spamming “UNCLEINNIT”

phil’s absolute confusion at first noticing the trident pads, then going “thats 5head as F*” is a mood, i can’t wait for him to get a trident

420SUBS ALREADY WHAT ITS ONLY BEEN AN HOUR

SNOOP TIME

BLEND W SPEEDRUN

It’s the funniest thing to see the entire chat jamming to the song and then once every 50 messages or smth there’s this one confused newbie lmao

uhhh i think i just witnessed jack manifold finding out what happend to his home rip

back to bed bombing for ancient debris!

jschlatt on november 16th: “for personal reasons, i will be passing away”

Phil doesn’t know where flatty patty came from, he just knows it bothers quackity lmao

he just found out, apparently he thought it was a burger thing??? sometimes i pity this man what did he sign up for

the luck ran out apparently, not a single piece yet rip

Phil (and the others) just appreciate the art and the headcanons (and thus the debate continues on about which sibling is older)

hence they don’t confirm anything bc they don’t want to like,,, limit people?

phil likes the reaction meme of the person welcoming a really big wave (titled: me when i watch dream smp) and “angst” on the big wave lmao

also good to know chat has always had cults lmao some things don’t change

dono: “it’s CULTure” lmaoooo

(true tho)

rub it in that you get to listen to wilbur’s new song will you

TUBBO WHY DO YOU WANT PHIL TO GET DMCA’D

ANGST TIME BOTH TECHNO AND NIKI HAVENT SEEN GHOSTBUR YET

and now phil is suggesting that some people just cant see ghostbur

(that man knows exactly what he’s doing)

LMAO WILBUR CAME WITH A BS RUMOUR AND PHIL DIDNT NOTICE IT UNTIL CHAT TOLD HIM

is this wilbur’s new thing?

are we gonna get a “wilbur tells about weird rumours about phil he read on twitter” vid sand jesus style

WILBUR SAID HIS MOTHER IS A SAMGSUNG SMART FRIDGE

chat is spamming “SAPNAP?” now

Momza is shocked phil would do such things

TUBBO WATCHED THIS HAPPEN NO WHY

LMAO SOMEONE WITH SMART FRIDGE IN THEIR NAME JUST USED THEIR PRIME LMAOOOOO

Wilbur raises an interesting point: howtf did Phil find a smart fridge in 1971?

lol Ranboo donated bits just to beg phil to save him

ohh wilbur is going to tromso? that’s gonna be awesome (and really cold) this time of year!

also phil is only now learning that samsung smart fridge is sapnaps nickname rip

Tubbo is Suffering and so am I

SEVEN PIECES OF DEBRIS IN ONE BED WTF

so many cursed yet enlightened comments are being made but i cannot write down every single dono im sorry

Ranboo is finally being listened to poor boy

okay nvm

TUBBO JUST WHISPERED TO PHIL ASKING WHAT CUMZA IS NOOOO

Kristin is clarifying the ranboo thing to phil bless her

fundy has found flying striders?

I am havign flashbacks to techno getting kicked for his jumping horse how is fundy still online

Poor Phil he’s experiencing this fandom’s headcanon skills first hand

he thinks people are “reaching” this is nothing lmao

“kristin why you gotta do me like this”

the fanart is already coming why

it’s so cursed

WILBUR JUST PUBLICLY CALLED OUT ANYONE WHO TRIES TO MAKE THE SALMON AND THE FRIDGE ANYTHING BUT A SALMON AND A FRIDGE

Phil is seriously committed to the other side of that argument lmao

in an attempt to change the topic, phil is now gonna educate us on sharky and george

(tbh i know the tune but from the yogscast lmao)

Wilbur really just went and said “lemme just derail this stream and any that may follow where it gets even the slightest mention”

also yeah the striders are big scuffed, i’ll give it like 24hrs max before a) dream has to like, reset some parts of it or b) he just kills any and all stridersuntil he’s figured out a more permanent solution

Three generations at seeing the messed up striders: Fundy went “i could make money off of this somehow and immediately starts to fly them” Wilbur went “Cursed? let me just log on” and Phil is like, actually trying to figure out what happened lol

also the server is really lagging wow (probably related?)

Phil thinks the striders might be registered by the game as having elytra?

Wilbur says he might’ve found techno’s base and is now attempting to buy the broken strider from Fundy

Okay the spider farm might be the cause there’s like half a frame per second wtf

lol puffy had apparently forgotten she was standing there lmao almost killed the server

techno just logged on just to say “Technoblade” and left again lmao

also phil has been struggling for so long already, just to get a warped fungus so he can ride the scuffed striders

Lmao Phil called the iron door trap for dre ugly and fundy logged back on just to tell him it’s his

The striders are so scuffed it’s insane

fundy is just baby raging lol

STEALZA

Dauly reminder that Phil is just as chaotic as the rest of them: he just lauched a strider up to like, world limit or something lmao

lol i saw a clip pass by in chat called “strider goes nyoom” fitting

Fundy keeps logging back on to baby rage at phil lmao

“watch me bitch”

Screenshot time!

FUNDY SHOT IT NO WHY

“i’m gonna murder this child, im gonna fucking detroy-“

chat is spamming “KILLZA”, “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” and “KILL THE ORPHAN/FURRY”

so business as usual

Phil thinks that maaaaybe making a strider launcher would not be an “intended game mechanic” and he doesn’t want to get banned lol

“imagine an army, a faction of those flying striders in a war on the dream smp”

“the great lava strider war of dream smp”

we’re getting in dangerous attack on titan territory with this and the walls

phil just noticed the hole in the wall at pokimanes statue lol “the level of simps on this server”

To quench both his and chat’s bloodlust he’s gonna kill the strider fundy said was his lmao

“a soul for a soul”

D E A T H

d e t h

Second daily reminder that PHIL DOES WHATEVER HE WANTS the only thing chat can do is encourage him lmao

“Blood for the blood god’s dad” lmao

lmao jeff escaped and he’s now choosing every single workstation except for the one phil wants

annnd we’re back to replacing lecturns until phil gets the right book

“ranboo is still stuck, correct”

y o u c h

wtf is that book from vikk’s house lmao

“If tommy becomes too annoying you know what to do”???

Phil keeps entering the wrong house lmaoooo

Ranboo is finally gonna be saved!

Hbomb is here as well!

Ranboo gps lmao

Phil is fixing ranboos scuffed stip mine lmao

chat is spamming dadza again

They found ranboo!

Hbomb is donating fire res potions to ranboo lmao

“childproofing the mine”

“do what everybody else does on this server, steal”

HE LIVES

Phil refused to take ranboos diamonds lol

“I’m not gonna take the diamonds from someone who doesn’t have shoes”

it’s cute to like, watch adoption happen lmao

phil is gonna silk touch some diamonds for ranboo aww

“dadza come pick me up im scared” lmao

phil and ranboo talking about mining ya dirt only making sense when you have efficiency 4 diamond shovel like i didn’t find my first diamonds using my stone shovel on my survival world

Momza wants to know if ranboo likes lettuce lmao

he does!

I am hyped as hell for 1.17

(i also really want to know if you could make traps using the wardens,,, imagine)

Phil is teaching Ranboo about optifine dynamic lighting i love life

Ranboo told phil about his first encounter with techno lmao

I am living for these phil ranboo interactions and just,,,,, phil teaching ranboo about minecraft?

also kristin wants to know if he likes burnt lettuce?

lmao phil blocked in ranboo with the ores he needs to fortune

Fake signs (or are they?)

Stream is ending soon bc phil is recording something with tommy!

Probably hardcore on wednesday, but phil is just doing what he feels like every stream!

(the hunger for getting absolutely stacked on the smp is back lmao)

GaRbAgE dAy

[doctormage]

ok as promised here's my whole thedosian astrology spiral in one big post

underneath a read more bc i love you all

starting w my tags from the first post bc context:

#bc i saw a post that put the zodiac seasons (for thedas) roughly from the 20th of one month to the 20th of the next #like it is irl #but the zodiac seasons coincide w the actual seasons #the start of aries season is the vernal equinox #the start of cancer season is the summer solstice #the start of libra season is the autumnal equinox #the start of capricorn season is the winter solstice #and (to my knowledge??) the seasons in thedas start with their annum holidays or whatever #wintersend = beginning of spring #summerday = beginning of summer #all souls day = beginning of fall #satinalia = beginning of winter #(someone PLEASE correct me if im wrong on that) #well i know summerday and satinalia are right but #ANYWAY #using that logic the zodiac seasons would also start on those days #thedas-aries season would run from the 1st to the 30th of guardian #thedas-taurus would be 1-30 drakonis #thedas-gemini would be 1-30 cloudreach #so that thedas-cancer aka the start of summer aka summerday aka THE FIRST OF BLOOMINGTIDE #kSLFdfslkdFDKs #anyway. now i have to be Right about this#my previous hyperfixation and my current one.....coming together....to make me into a Massive Bitch<3

when would the zodiac signs' seasons take place in the thedosian calendar?

so bc the zodiac signs are based on constellations and all the lore etc that accompanies them i'm not even gonna touch that (YET.....yet...) but since spring, summer, autumn, and winter start on the first days of guardian, bloomingtide, august, and firstfall, respectively, so would those particular seasons of the zodiac

thedas-equivalent-of-aries season would just be 1-30 guardian, bc irl the beginning of aries season coincides with the beginning of spring and continues until the sun moves into taurus; all the cardinal signs (aries, cancer, libra, capricorn) begin on the first of the season like that, so we can assume that – IF there are 12 zodiac signs in thedas – the sun is in each sign for approximately a month. so that in 3 months the next cardinal sign can coincide w the beginning of that season

imo it makes sense that (if we're assuming thedas also has 12 signs and that their sun spends roughly equal time in all of them) four of them would coincide w the beginning of the seasons. so like yeah thedas is fake and for all we know they have 10 zodiac signs and they all start on wildly different days, but then everything is just shooting in the dark and where's the fun in that. obviously the changing of the seasons is important to them bc their holidays center around them, therefore i don't think it's wildly out of the blue to think that whatever star sign system they have going on would similarly coincide w the changing seasons

again i'm not currently bothering with picking constellations/symbols/stories/traits/etc for each sign so i'll just say first, second, third etc. point being the seasons of the zodiac would actually be like they are below, rather than how they are irl (aka the 20th-ish of each month to the 20th-ish of the next; it's like that irl bc our calendar is stupid and the beginning of the seasons randomly happens 2/3 of the way thru the month):

first sign = begins spring, 1-30 guardian

second sign ≈ 1-30 drakonis

third sign ≈ 1-30 cloudreach

fourth sign = begins summer, 1-30 bloomingtide

fifth sign ≈ 1-30 justinian

sixth sign ≈ 1-30 solace

seventh sign = begins autumn, 1-30 august

eighth sign ≈ 1-30 kingsway

ninth sign ≈ 1-30 harvestmere

tenth sign = begins winter, 1-30 firstfall

eleventh sign ≈ 1-30 haring

twelfth sign ≈ 1-30 wintermarch

okay so we have cardinal signs, what about fixed and mutable signs?

the cardinal signs are CALLED the cardinal signs bc they begin the seasons; they're the ~get up and goers~ of the zodiac, motivated, leaders, trail blazers, energetic, etc. they litchrally bring in the changes of the season so that makes sense right

so IF we are to continue w that logic — and here's where i'm getting (even more) conjecture-y, but i feel p confident that since 4 of the 5 major holidays in thedas are based on the changing seasons aka thats important — then the traits of the thedas-equivalent of those signs would also have similarities to the irl cardinal signs (namely the traits listed above)

but there are also FIXED signs and MUTABLE signs: so called bc fixed signs are firmly planted in the middle of each season (taurus in spring, leo in summer, scorpio in autumn, aquarius in winter) and bc mutable signs precede the major change from one season to the next (gemini from spring to summer, virgo from summer to autumn, sagittarius from autumn to winter, pisces from winter-to-spring)

and again bc these are based on the seasons, it also makes sense to me that, generally speaking, the signs in the middle and at the end of the seasons would also be distinct in some way. and probably have similarities to irl fixed and mutable signs, tho i'm not as obstinate about that as i am abt the cardinal signs. but anyway MOVING ON

[the one section with the fan-made sky map ended up being relatively useless even tho the sky map was in fact very cool]

general disclaimer that at this point i’m literally just. straight up guessing lmao

also since we only have so many constellations we see in-game, and since they each come with a codex giving us at least a little background info (aka CRUMBS), any suggestions of which constellations are part of the zodiac are based on those specifically. obviously in real life theres a bazillion constellations that aren’t part of the zodiac, but we do not have the luxury of knowing every constellation in thedas so i am going with what we got

the thedosian constellation map (the canon one) is different than the fan-made sky map, but because i highly doubt anyone at bioware could’ve predicted someone would be As Insane As I Am Being Right Now about it, i don’t think they probably put a lot of thought into making it lmao. the fan made sky map DID have thought put into it tho, and it actually features the constellations we see in-game, so i’m going w that one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AND. i’m gonna look at the names of the months (both the fancy ancient tevinter names and the ~low/common~ names) in comparison w the constellations we have at our disposal bc why the fuck wouldn’t they be related in some way. this has no basis in any deeper logic than “maybe the fact that the ‘common’ name for this month is drakonis has somethinng to do with the constellation draconis idfk” but like. it’s literally the same name but with one letter (that makes the same sound) changed. i don’t think i’m asking too much here lmao

signs that start the seasons

wintersend is canonically associated with the old god urthemiel; the codex entry for the constellation bellitanus states it (is believed that it) was originally associated with urthemiel. using the same reasoning as with satinalis/satinalia, i’m gonna assume that bellitanus-as-a-zodiac-season would start with wintersend and last through the whole of guardian

summerday was once called andoralis, dedicated to the old god andoral; the codex entry for the constellation servani states it is thought to be representative of andoral, but where the wiki says andoral is the god of unity, the codex says andoral was the god of slaves. (doesn’t clarify if andoral is like, a figure to which the enslaved would turn to in their plight, as like a savior? or whether andoral is...just associated with slaves in some way.) i have no idea what the fuck to do w that except assume bioware is back on their bullshit! i’m gonna come back to this later

all soul’s day was once funalis, dedicated to dumat, old god of silence; the codex entry for the constellation silentir (which literally means ‘silence’ lmao) is usually said to represent dumat. so by this logic we might say the zodiac season for silentir begins with all soul’s day and ends with the last day of august

the constellation satinalis is canonically associated with satinalia, so it makes sense to me that if satinalis is part of the zodiac, its season would start with satinalia / last through the month in which the holiday takes place. aka firstfall

with these in mind, we have (tentatively) 3 of our 4 cardinal signs aka the signs that begin the seasons: bellitanus for spring, silentir for autumn, and satinalis for winter

looking at the fan-made sky map, these aren’t super evenly spaced apart (but then again neither are irl constellations perfectly proportioned so whatever!) HOWEVER. they do still, at least vaguely 😭, follow a clockwise pattern in the correct order of guardian/spring → summerday/bloomingtide → all soul’s day/august → satinalia/firstfall. it’s about the small victories ok *inquisitor ameridan voice* take moments of happiness where you find them or whatever

what about the other 8 signs???

great question!!! haha!!!

✨I Am Once Again About To Start Guessing Wildly✨

because even tho the “cardinal signs” go clockwise and in order, there’s still an uneven amount of constellations BETWEEN them. there should be 2 between each but, for example, silentir and satinalis only have tenebrium between them. and there are fucking....TEN constellations between satinalis and bellitanus so we’re going to have to get even more creative somehow<3 lmao these are all taken from the codex entries for the constellations (the names are links!)

TOTH: tevinter old god of fire, thats p much it. the codex does say sometimes toth is depicted as a “flaming orb” which maybe i truly have succumbed to the brain worms but i hear ‘orb’ and ‘god’ and ‘flame’ (aka light/energy/etc or perhaps idk a fucking explosion) and yall already know where my dumb ass is going w that 🥴

since the rules are made up and the points dont matter, i have decided Fuck Bioware, toth is going with summerday now. i dont give a rats ass about andoral since apparently they dont care to tell us what he was actually god of, so welcome toth you are now in charge of the beginning of summer bc i said so

TENEBRIUM: associated with lusacan, tevinter old god of darkess/night. also obvious associations with falon’din, elven god of death, whose sacred animal is an owl

pea brain analysis: its dark in winter lol; slightly larger, maybe lima-bean-sized brain analysis: the beginning of a new year (aka first day aka first of wintermarch) could hypothetically be associated w the past ‘dying.’ and also the holiday was originally an annual check to make sure everyone was alive, so i don’t see why gods of death can’t be associated w making sure all your loved ones weren’t taken by said god of death lol

ELUVIA: commonly called “sacrifice,” it’s (apparently) based on an orlesian tale in which a woman is saved from a “””lustful mage””” (i love bioware i love this frachise) by being placed in the sky and becoming a constellation. before this inspiring tale that is definitely not anti mage propaganda, eluvia may have represented razikale, tevinter old god of mystery. the imagery of this constellation is a seated woman with a cloud right above her - literally like her head is in the clouds (also bc it sounds like ‘eluvian’ i’m like 👀)

i’m inclined to pair this one up with cloudreach both bc the ancient tevinter name is “eluviesta” and bc the woman in the story is literally. in the clouds. simple enough

PERAQUIALUS: it’s a boat! but apparently a “primitive vessel” sailed by ancient peoples like the neromenians. according to the codex the translation is usually ‘across the sea’ rather than ‘boat’ but that doesnt rly help me lol

sorry my beloved. before me stand 10 beautiful constellations but i only have 9 pictures in my hands. you are not thedas’s next top zodiac sign

DRACONIS: obviously its a dragon lol

i think the drakonis (the month) / draconis (this constellation) correlation is. pretty evident lmao and since we have all but thrown credible hypothesizing out the window, why NOT?? why not make drakonis the season of draconis!!! 🤡

FERVENIAL: an oak; some believe it could be representative of andruil, elven goddess of the hunt, as the vir tanadhal (“way of the three trees”) is her whole thing

sigh idk *spins wheel* leaves start changing color in mid-late autumn so *spins wheel again* fervenial can go with harvestmere which is thedas-october it’s fine

JUDEX: a big ol sword, sometimes called the “sword of mercy,” referring to pre-andrastian concepts of justice in ancient tevinter

speaking of pulling ideas right out of my ass, if this constellation is associated w justice it makes sense to me that its season would be in the month of justinian. bc again why the fuck not!

EQUINOR: the stallion / a horse, sometimes depicted as a seated griffon. some speculate the original imagery was a halla, linking the constellation to the elven god ghilan’nain aka “mother of the halla”

i am really grasping at straws here HAHA but the word haring (as a gerund/present participle of the verb ‘hare’) can mean to run or go with great speed. horses go fast, ghilan’nain is invoked when elves want to travel quickly, blah blah blah. whatever

SOLIUM: the sun; one interpretation is that it indicates an ancient fascination with ALL objects in the sky (aka both the sun and moon[s]), another interpretation associates it with the elven god elgar’nan, aka “eldest of the sun”

alright i know the name ‘solas’ means pride in elvhen and the word ‘solace’ means like comfort/consolation, neither of which have jack shit to do with the sun, so i shouldn’t assume solis is associated with solium exclusively bc they start with ‘sol’ and sol means sun in...a lot of irl languages lol HOWEVER. i have an even worse reasoning we can fall back on which is that it’s in summer and it’s...fucking sunny??? LMAO im so sorry

FENRIR: the white wolf 👁👄👁 scholars apparently dont know wtf to do w this one; obviously there is a case to be made about its association with fen’harel

i have talked myself in circles on this one but whenever i try to type it out it makes Zero Fucking Sense lmao so. i may come back and edit this but for now just know it’s going with kingsway and i want yall to know i do have some stupid nebulous reasoning for that in my silly little brain but communicating it is simply not in the cards for me today god bless 🙏

alright so what bullshit have you proposed at the end of all this EXTREMELY shaky guesswork, queen?

HERE YOU GO I GUESS

Bellitanus: begins spring, 1-30 Guardian

Draconis: 1-30 Drakonis

Eluvia: 1-30 Cloudreach

Toth: begins summer, 1-30 Bloomingtide

Judex: 1-30 Justinian

Solium: 1-30 Solace

Silentir: begins autumn, 1-30 August

Fenrir: 1-30 Kingsway

Fervenial: 1-30 Harvestmere

Satinalis: begins winter, 1-30 Firstfall

Equinor: 1-30 Haring

Tenebrium: 1-30 Wintermarch

next time i have a death wish i will come back and speculate what kind of traits would be associated w these signs (based on the ~lore~ surrounding the constellations, their tentative places as cardinal/fixed/mutable, etc) but i just wasted precious hours of my life on this and i cant look at it anymore!!!

also want to reiterate that, regarding the post i saw earlier that i disagreed with, my refutation of that argument ended like 2 reblogs many sections ago lol. the only thing i feel confident defending is that the different seasons of the zodiac would – based on the actual changing 4 seasons – start on the first of each month and end on the last day of each month, as opposed to the way it is in real life western astrology

all this other bullshit is just for fun (??? i guess????) and based ALMOST entirely on my own assumptions. informed by actual shit from the games ofc but mainly me just

EDIT: would like to add that i don't have world of thedas or any other supplementary shit; all i have at my disposal is the 3 games, their DLCs, and the wiki lol. so if there's anything here that WOT (or smth else) contradicts please lmk! and also sorry for any typos lmao

hope yall enjoyed witnessing this fully unhinged moment w me bye<3

[fly-pow-bye]

What’s Airing On Cartoon Network? (July 2020)

While June was a slow month for Cartoon Network, no thanks to HBO Max taking Summer Camp Island and seemingly most of Cartoon Network’s 2020 lineup, July is a bit more interesting. Alongside the return of Mao Mao, we also get the return of Apple & Onion as well! More after the break.

Apple & Onion

The second season of Apple & Onion starts on July 20th.

July 20

Champion - Apple and Onion need to get rid of a problematic dog they thought was a horse. (6:00 PM)

July 21

Falafel's Passion - Apple and Onion must stop Falafel from humiliating himself on a national TV show. (6:00 PM)

July 22

Hole in Roof - Apple and Onion must repair the hole in their roof before the impending storm of the century. (6:00 PM)

July 23

Patty's Law - Apple and Onion must look after a sick Falafel in order to go parasailing. (6:00 PM)

Bakugan: Armored Alliance

July 5th

Final Battle! Dan vs. Ajit/Secrets Exposed - It's time for the event everyone in Los Volmos has been waiting for, The Bakugan Battle League finals! Then, with the winner determined the celebration is cut short when Phantom Thief Storm crashes the party by stealing everyone's Bakugan! (6:30 AM)

July 19th

The Director/Queen Ebony - Everett Ray reaches out to Lia with an opportunity that seems too good to be true. Then, Lightning learns of a street cat named Ebony, threatening them to do her bidding or face the wrath of her Bakugan! (6:30 AM)

July 26th

Here Comes Haavik/The Fusion Bakugan Arrive - An evil shapeshifting alien has landed in Los Volmos and he has a group of robot mechanoids on his trail trying to bring him justice. Then, Chad and Trey challenge Dan to rematch but this time they have a few tricks up their sleeve. (6:30 AM)

We also get an advanced listing for an episode in August.

August 2nd

Sophie, the Bakuganist/Midnight Train Battle! - Magnus is on the trail of the illegal Baku-brawling devices and is looking to cut off the supply at its source. Then, Sophie Judson Warfield is working to put an end to all Bakugan brawling. Her latest target is the Awesome Brawlers.

Craig of the Creek

A week before, Cartoon Network suddenly scheduled four episodes of Craig of the Creek on the last week of June, which rolls into July. For the sake of completion, I’m going to put them here, too.

June 29th

The Ground is Lava! - When an intense game of "The Ground is Lava" breaks out, Craig must carefully traverse the Creek to save his sister. (10:00 AM)

June 30th

Council of the Creek: Operation Hive-Mind - Hive Mind - When bees take over the Trading Tree, Craig must assemble the Council of the Creek to avert disaster. (10:00 AM)

July 1st

The Bike Thief - Craig investigates the theft of the 10 Speed's bikes in hopes of finding the culprit! (10:00 AM)

July 2nd

Craig of the Beach - Craig gets to hit the beach with his friends and family, but starts to get worried his Dad is more fun than him. (10:00 AM)

Mao Mao, Heroes of Pure Heart

For the first time since October of last year, Mao Mao is finally getting some new episodes.

July 6th

Mao Mao's Nakey - When MM loses his clothes while trying to scale the Ruby Pure Heart, he has to get back to Sheriff's HQ by daybreak. (12:30 PM)

July 7th

Lucky Ducky Mug - When Adorabat and Badgerclops break Mao Mao's favorite mug, he gives them the silent treatment. (12:30 PM)

July 8th

Lonely Kid - When AD has trouble making friends at school, MM tells her the story of how he made his first real friend - BB. (12:30 PM)

July 9th

Try Hard - When the Sky Pirates take Mao Mao and Badgerclops hostage, it's up to Adorabat to save the day. (12:30 PM)

July 10th

Scared of Puppets - Mao Mao is scared of puppets. (12:30 PM)

July 13th

The Perfect Couple - When Mao Mao accidentally breaks up the most perfect couple in Pure Heart Valley, he has to figure out how to get them back together. (12:30 PM)

July 14th

Adoradad - When AD's dad forbids her from working with the Sheriff's Dept because it's too dangerous, AD sets out to prove that she can take care of herself. (12:30 PM)

July 15th

Badge-a-fire Explosion - When BC comes out of a rare state of hyper-focused creativity, he may have made something that could destroy all of PHV. (12:30 PM)

July 16th

Zing Your Heart Out - When Adorabat starts to aggressively heckle everyone with her new zing power, she threatens the entire kingdom. (12:30 PM)

July 17th

Strange Bedfellows - After an insane battle, MM and OS end up in the same hospital room. But even in full body casts, the sworn enemies continue the fight. (12:30 PM)

Ninjago

We may not get new episodes of a certain other LEGO-related cartoon, but we do have new episodes of Ninjago, starting with a full hour of them on July 19th.

July 19th

Would You Like to Enter Prime Empire? - While investigating a heist, the ninja discover Prime Empire, a legendary unreleased arcade game that suddenly takes control of all other games in Ninjago. (11:00 AM)

Dyer Island - When the ninja connect Jay's disappearance to Prime Empire, they set out to Dyer Island to seek answers from the game's designer, the elusive Milton Dyer. (11:15 AM)

Level Thirteen - Cyrus Borg discovers a shocking secret about Prime Empire, while the ninja battle an escaped Mechanic in their attempt to reach Level Thirteen and enter the game themselves. (11:30 AM)

Superstar Rockin' Jay - Now inside the Prime Empire game, the ninja find themselves in unfamiliar territory, ignorant of the rules of this world, as they try to find Zane and escape Unagami's army of Red Visors. (11:45 AM)

July 26th

I Am Okino - Inside one of the game zones, a Samurai named Okino faces a crisis of faith when he repeatedly fails to lead a series of Masters to victory, causing him to lose all hope, until some familiar ninja arrive. (11:00 AM)

The Glitch - In order to stop Unagami the ninja must obtain three Key-tanas, the first of which is hidden in the game zone Terra Kerana, one of Prime Empire's most dangerous game environments. (11:15 AM)

August 2nd

The Cliffs of Hysteria - While being chased by Unagami's dreaded Red Visors the ninja must climb the 'Cliffs of Hysteria', however, they make a startling discovery: Unagami is converting players into energy cubes in order to build a portal into the real world! (11:00 AM)

The Maze of the Red Dragon - Still in the game zone Terra Kerana, the Samurai guide Okino has to choose between helping his allies the ninja, or obeying the evil orders of his Master, Unagami. (11:15 AM)

Teen Titans Go!

The sequel to the legendary “Night Begins to Shine” premieres in July.

July 10th

Night Begins to Shine 2: You're the One - The elderly Titans decide to take one last trip to the world of Night Begins to Shine only to encounter a new villain ruling the land, Ultralak. In order to stop Ultralak, the Titans must find three music stems. (6:00 PM)

[softlyblues]

30th April 1876, Paris

Very little from the exhibition actually sells, because this is before they are very much in vogue, and Manet is still young with a spring in his step, and Renoir still follows Monet with hope in his eyes and a brush behind his ear. It is 1876, the second Impressionist exhibit in Nadar’s studio, and they are all young and full of vigour, skin so thick as to shrug off criticism because what would they know?

L’homme Distrait is a painting in the corner of the room, below a collection of Renoir’s studies of water. People’s eyes pass over it, oddly put off, although there isn’t much wrong with it. At first, anyway.

It is by a young man named Alfred Sisley, and it is odd because Sisley is known (already) for his landscapes. It is a very small canvas, all light and the spill of shadow,  the press of a hand against a pillow, the fall of hair along bare shoulders, a shirt slipped down to cup the upper arm, to reveal a smattering of intimate freckles along the back of the neck, trailing ever-downwards. Morning sun spills through the window the figure looks out of, and his face is hidden by the picture, captured from behind. His fingertips press into the pillow, clutching a little of the fabric, and what little the viewer can see below him shows bare feet tucked underneath bare legs, a tantalising peek at whatever else might lie beneath. It is tender.

Three paintings are sold, at the second Impressionist exhibit, although the publicity is a lot greater than that of the second. Two are sold to an art collector from Normandy, who has felt the way the wind is blowing -

And the third is sold to the strange man in the old-fashioned suits, who came every day of the exhibition to stare at the Sisley painting in the corner, an odd look of yearning in his eyes, his hands neatly tucked behind his back as though he doesn’t trust himself not to touch. He pays in cash and vanishes.

☼

2nd September 1889, London

Aziraphale does not have many houseguests, but he makes an exception for a few of his favourite people. It is just before the decade turns, and Oscar cuts a pompous figure lying on his chaise-longue with a wine glass hanging from his hand, but he’s a lonely soul and his young man - his Alfred, an undergraduate at Oxford just turned twenty - is chasing him. Oscar comes to Aziraphale to complain, wryly, that young men will chase without any of the idea the hurt they can cause, and Aziraphale is there with wine and an ear to lend.

“That painting,” Wilde says, waving a hand at the corner, “Often I’ve wondered about it. My tongue is too loose, but my friend - yours is too tight.”

Aziraphale doesn’t have to turn to know which painting Wilde refers to; over the years, he’s wondered if he should discard it, but every time he tries to his hand stills. “I found it in the Impressionists,” he says lightly. “A trifling thing.”

“An odd choice of subject matter for the air-silly men, surely,” Wilde says. He can be astute when he wants to be, damn the bastard.

Aziraphale shrugs. “I thought it was unique, and Sisley was only too glad to sell.”

“Do you know who the sitter is?”

“No,” Aziraphale says.

Oscar’s eyes, mostly full of self-pity, swell with gentle laughter. “My friend - you never did learn how to lie.”

“I don’t know him,” Aziraphale says, “I - I know his name.”

“Oh?”

Aziraphale fills his glass, and then Oscar’s when he holds it out. “His name is Anthony,” he says steadily, and wills his voice not to tremble overmuch, “But we have - that is to say, I do not see him anymore. I haven’t in a long time. I saw the painting at the exhibition and it seemed like I ought to buy it, although I never told Sisley my name and I cannot imagine Anthony would be too happy to know I bought it.”

Wilde laughs. It isn’t a very happy laugh. “You and I,” he says, and tips the edge of his glass against Aziraphale’s, “Must be the most miserable men in all of England. Our lovers run away.”

Aziraphale doesn’t disagree.

☼

And On The Seventh Day, He Rested

That is not even close to how it begins, but it is a view of things from the other side of the mirror.

Crowley doesn’t remember his life before the Fall, only that he must have had one, and that he must have had a good reason for leaving Above and going Below. He remembers the pain of it, of everything burning and the feathers on his wings scorching black with the heat, a God angry at the rejection of one of Its children. Crowley remembers screaming, and then blackness, and then Hell.

He hadn’t liked Hell at all. When they asked for volunteers to tempt on this new experiment God was creating, Crowley had jumped at the chance, back when he was still just Crawly and nothing much separated him from all the rest of the poor bastards down there who had just wanted to know why.

And he got up there and found out that the world was open and airy and beautiful, and things smelled of peaches, and Eve was nice to him, stroking a finger along his scaly back. “You’re pretty,” she tells him now.

This is how it begins.

“I will call you a snake,” Eve tells him, and Crawly rears up all proud of himself, because he has a name someone else has given him and it seems to fit him as though it always has. Like a glove. “You are a snake because of the hiss you make.”

To make her happy, Crawly does it.

Her laugh is beautiful, and he is proud of himself for making it - that is something he has done himself, created all on his own, and it feels so good to create joy in the air, especially for Eve. Crawly likes her ever so much more than he likes Adam, who is a bullyish man, stomping about the garden and forcing names on things that don’t suit them at all. A part of Crawly wonders if Adam will be happy about snake.

“Hello.”

It is a few days later, and Crawly is testing out his other form, sitting on the wall of the garden and swinging his legs over the side. He’s eating an apple. It’s green, juicy, running down his chin, full of good flavour and a sharp bite, and this is why he volunteered - because there are no apples in Hell.

“Hello,” something says again, and a vision all in white settles beside Crawly.

Crawly scrunches up his nose. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m a Principality,” says the angel, almost apologetically. “I think I’m meant to be guarding Eden from temptation and things like that? It’s all quite exciting. I’ve been speaking to Adam, a lot.”

“Good,” Crawly tosses his apple over the wall, where it rolls into the barren sand.

(And why is Eden the only place of life? What has made it special?)

(Something takes root.)

“You’re the temptation, then, I gather,” says the angel. He is quite pretty, objectively, a spray of short white hair over an amicable face, a sharp little nose and bow-shaped lips. His robes fall to his ankles, suitably demure, and his hands are folded in his lap as though he’s awaiting a lecture from God Itself.

Crawly shrugs, and feels very sinful. “I’m the temptation.”

(Later he thinks this is part of the Holy Punishment. It must be. To love, and to never be loved in return - a black hole, a void in reverse, giving and giving and never receiving. This is the last and first joke, by a God cruel enough to laugh at it, placing the one thing Crowley wants in front of him and saying: this is not for you.)

“You look very benign,” the angel says, like an apology. “I - oh! I’m very sorry. I’m Aziraphale, Principality. Your name can’t just be temptation.”

“Crawly,” Crawly says, going scarlet at the saying of it aloud. “Although I’m thinking of changing it.”

“I’m very pleased to meet you,” says Aziraphale politely, and Crawly thinks oh so this is what it’s like to see the sun rising.

He doesn’t mean to tempt.

Truly, he doesn’t.

“Oh, snake,” whispers Eve one golden night when the sun is hanging over the sky, a guest that refuses to leave, “I am so sad, and I don’t know why. I wish you could speak to me, snake - sometimes it feels like you’re my only friend.”

Her and Adam sleep at opposite ends of the Garden. Eve curls beneath a bush, her hair bouncing over one breast, and shivers in the cold; she has nothing to clothe herself in, and even in the desert the nights are freezing. Crawly can’t imagine surviving with warm blood in his veins, instead.

You are my dearesssst friend, Crawly hisses, his tongue flickering out to brush against her cheek. He can’t help it - and anyway, Hell would tell him if he was doing anything truly wrong. Right.

“He hurts me so,” Eve says. Water pools underneath her pupils, and spills over her cheeks, and when Crawly bumps his nose against it he tastes warm salt. “I wish he didn’t, snake, but he does, and he expects me to forget and be his wife. Loving. I love him, and he says he loves me!”

Love is cruel, Crawly says to ears that cannot hear him. As though he knows anything.

“But if he loved me he would be kind.”

Crawly is silent, but his eyes are drawn to the tree in the centre of the garden, and he wonders… all he wants to do is help.

“I wish I knew! For good or ill, I wish I knew!”

And Crawly wraps around her shoulders, and whispers in her ear, and Eve hears.

They leave soon after that.

But Aziraphale gives them the flaming sword, and surely that must count for something? Something meant for good will turn out badly, but something meant for good might still work the way it was intended.

Crawly leaves, belly flat in the sand, and behind him an apple tree takes root, and a single Principality takes flight, dove’s wings in the burning blue of a sky too new to be clouded.

☼

Summer 1194 BC, Troy

The funeral is solemn. The sight of the pyre, hot and sticky in the air of summer, makes bile rise in the back of Crowley’s throat, although he hides under the wraps of a mourning widow in the crowd, unseen to most everyone - he doesn’t want to be bothered, doesn’t want to be talked to.

What a fucking waste.

He is present at the council, too.

“The boy asked for his ashes to be mixed with-”

“But that’s it. He is just a boy, and a war hero, and that other-”

Crowley adds his voice to the chorus. “Achilles is a hero,” he says roughly, dressed now as a war general and not a widow, “And a hero deserves to have his last wishes honoured, does he not? Come to your senses! Would any of you, any of you, wish to be buried in a way not of your choosing?”

For a brief second he holds the sway of these powerful men, men who have grown powerful by getting rid of the caring. He can see them considering. But -

“Achilles was a war hero,” says someone roughly, in a voice much stronger and less stricken than Crowley’s, “And Patroclus was nothing but a man in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was Achilles’ one blind spot, and we can forgive the man, but we cannot let this continue past his death. Patroclus was a murderer.”

“Let them be,” Crowley says, one last attempt, “Let them be.”

He is shouted down.

“Hello,” Aziraphale says softly.

Crowley is sitting by the seashore, already deep into his cups with no sign and no intention of slowing down yet. “Hello, angel,” he says gloomily. “Come to gloat?”

To his surprise, Aziraphale sits down beside him, rather heavily. The two of them tend to avoid each other, still, even with all the awkward camaraderie of the ark and the garden and the following the Israelites around their sorry mission - Crowley just can’t get past it, somehow, the way Aziraphale looks. The way he moves. The way it strikes a yearning in his heart.

“Gloat?” Aziraphale sounds injured at the very thought of it. “I thought - I thought they would let them rest. They were so young.”

Wordlessly, Crowley passes the wine over. “It was Pyrrhus, in the end, who swayed them. I think he was embarrassed by it all. Patroclus-”

“They were in love,” Aziraphale says softly.

Crowley looks across, although he tries not to.

(When he meets Aziraphale, he tries always to look away, because the sight of the angel brings him such unbearable pain, deep down in his heart where he can’t heal it away. Aziraphale is always ringed in a peculiar light that doesn’t glow, as though Crowley’s eyes can see what Crowley often forgets; that Aziraphale is a heavenly body, and Crowley is not.)

Aziraphale is dressed like a foot soldier resting, half in uniform and half out, his undertunic white, a little smeared with sand. His hair is the same as it always was, because he doesn’t seem inclined to change as much as Crowley does, and the straps of his sandals are done a little messy. He is crying big, fat, ugly blobs down his cheeks, two streams meeting at his chin and dripping off to plop on his hands. “They were in love,” he says again, “They didn’t deserve it.”

“Oh, Aziraphale,” Crowley says. He tries to say something else, and then stops.

Aziraphale passes back the wine. “They didn’t deserve it.”

“Deserving has nothing to do with anything,” Crowley says before he can stop himself, “Nobody deserves what they’re given. You should know that by now.”

Oh, and does he feel like a heel when Aziraphale turns blue-stained eyes on him. “How can you say that!”

“All those people who drowned to make a new world. Those children, those babies,” and Crowley is only letting himself say this because he’s drunk and bitter, “All those people who died for Its purpose - did they deserve to drown? Did Noah deserve to live? Does Pyrrhus deserve to continue when Achilles is gone? Did Patroclus deserve to die? None of it has to do with who deserves anything. It’s all a game, angel, and all we are is another pair of playing dice.”

“You don’t believe that,” Aziraphale says. He sounds hurt, beyond hurt.

Crowley digs his fingers into the sand. “I have to believe that,” he says. “Because if Achilles deserved to die, if Patroclus deserved to die, for nothing - just for being in love - then nobody deserves to live at all.”

“Crowley-”

He’s done talking. He doesn’t want to talk about love with Aziraphale, on a beach, the smell of burning body drifting down the wind, Patroclus trapped and Achilles sent to the heavens, Troy falling and soldiers revelling. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he says, and perhaps he sounds so small that Aziraphale listens.

Although they only have one jar, the wine never runs empty, not until the sun rises and Crowley turns beside him and sees only marks in the sand where an angel should be.

☼

Autumn 570 BC, the Leucadian Cliffs

The woman on the cliff is a small, white-haired, bent-over lady, who holds herself with the poise of a woman who knows she was once beautiful beyond compare. She does not cry.

Crowley is here, but Aziraphale he hasn’t seen in almost a century.

“My love,” she says to him. “I miss you ever more by the day.”

Crowley reaches out, grabs her by the shoulder; in this body, a young woman from Lesbos itself, the strongest thing about him is the red of his hair. His translucent hand goes right through her. “Please, my love,” he says, in a voice high and flute-like. “Don’t do this.”

Sappho smiles at him sadly. “You are but a ghost,” she tells him. “The ghost of my one love. Claudia - Claudia. When I die I will see her in Hades, and that will be more gift than this - this existence on a rock.”

“Please,” Crowley says again.

(He has been discorporated for the last five years, the female body he liked so much, killed by a lingering disease, but he hasn’t yet had the courage to go Below to ask for a new body. And so here he is, hanging around the woman who fell in love with him, avoiding the angel he’s fallen in love with by a haunting. He wishes he couldn’t. He wishes she wouldn’t.)

“My Claudia didn’t love me, truly,” Sappho says. She’s still beautiful now, and Crowley sees her as the small, vibrant woman she was and is - black hair wrapping around her waist, blue eyes strong and seeking. “My Claudia loved another, but she never would tell me who. Would you tell me, spirit? Before I die?”

“I’ve given my heart to an angel,” Crowley confesses. The sea hits the rocks below, and almost drowns him out. “Please-”

“And the angel is well deserving of it,” Sappho says.

She doesn’t scream, on the way down. She only smiles.

Is this what Crowley deserves?

☼

21st April 33AD, Golgotha

“Crowley,” Aziraphale says.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Crowley replies, and it should be a joke but John is sobbing on the grassless ground and Aziraphale’s bottom lip is wobbling and all he can hear is Mary wailing for her son. Her son. Not anybody else’s. What’s the point in a father that never shows up?

Aziraphale’s hand touches his arm, and Crowley tries not to startle; instead, he turns his palm up, and Aziraphale’s falling fingers touch Crowley’s, and then their hands are linked without either of them quite knowing why.

Crowley doesn’t let go. Neither does Aziraphale.

“I tried, you know,” Aziraphale says dazedly. “I think it was the wrong thing for me to do - but I met him in the desert, just before he came here, and I told him he could have all his Father’s love if he just - if he didn’t-”

“Ineffable,” Crowley says, voice dull. “I met him in the garden. I told him not to do it. I told him he could have the world, he could have John if he wanted, and he said he couldn’t. I tried.”

Three years ago, and Crowley is in the crowd, when Jesus meets John, and just as the clouds part for the dove he sees Aziraphale on the other side of the river. Aziraphale smiles at him, a look altogether too fond although they have been working more together these days, less likely to fall apart, and John touches Jesus very gently, as though he might break.

“My lord,” he says.

“Aziraphale,” Crowley says, on the other side of the river now as though he’d always been there, and if he speaks in the same tone as John he prays (hah) that nobody notices.

Aziraphale is smiling. “They’ve found each other, Crowley! I always knew they would. Oh - oh, it can’t go wrong. He’s the one, you see?”

John follows Jesus through Israel, and Crowley and Aziraphale follow in turn, part of the faceless crowd that grows every time Jesus goes to speak. He preaches on mountains, on boats, in towns, in villages, by wells, in the countryside, by grass that no longer grows, and John supports him and helps helps baptise the converted and Crowley watches him fall in love. It is beautiful to watch.

They collect the forgotten, on the way. Peter, skinny and young and growling in displeasure; James and the other John, fishing boys who drop their nets, Phillip, Thomas, Matthew, the other James… Thaddeus, Simon, Bartholomew. All too small, all too young, all full of fervent faith. He and Aziraphale meet often, in this time.

It feels like the end of the world is coming.

“John loves him,” Crowley says. They’re sitting on the top of an inn where Jesus is preaching, on the roof where nobody will disturb them.

Aziraphale is eating olives very daintily, his lips wrapped around each one. He looks divine. “Jesus loves him too, I’m sure,” he says like he’s never had cause to doubt it, “They pair of them are - well. Made to be together. I was speaking to John in the last house they were at, and I’m glad for him. I think Jesus feels the strain.”

Crowley relaxes, looks into the starry sky. John loves Jesus. Jesus, the Christ Child. John, the man. “They seem very happy. That can’t last.”

“Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale sounds so disapproving, “I do wish you weren’t such a cynic about love.”

I’m not, Crowley thinks. “I’m not,” he says.

Aziraphale laughs and pats Crowley’s knee, a single spot of burning warmth. “You always have been, my dear, ever since I’ve known you.”

I’m trying to convince myself, not the rest of the world.

Crowley doesn’t say that bit out loud.

And Judas comes later, the youngest of them all, sixteen and wary, round brown eyes under curly hair, robes that don’t reach his ankles and feet dusty with dirt that isn’t ever properly washed. Crowley sees him and thinks you poor child, and he sees in the way Judas looks at Jesus that there is love, too, with no hope of ever being returned.

John the Baptist kisses the Emmanuel under a fig tree by moonlight, with Aziraphale and Crowley the sole watchers, strolling along the gardens. “Oh,” Aziraphale says softly.

Crowley wonders what it is like to do that - to do as John does. Cup his lover by the cheek, a thumb under the jaw, tip the face up so lips can meet, eyes brushing shut and eyelashes tangling, hair mussed, robes slipping from their fastenings, the sounds of two young people in love drifting over the air.

He looks at Aziraphale, and wonders if he’s thinking the same thing.

Judas finds nobody, in all their three years of wandering. Crowley wills him to, most desperately. Love is not what you think it is, he tries to say without saying, but Judas doesn’t want to hear.

Which brings them to this hilltop, this place, John beating his fists against the ground and weeping apologies to a God who planned this all along.

“We both tried to do the same thing,” Aziraphale says, as though in a daze. “I wonder - does that make me good, or you evil? Is this the good outcome?”

“You cannot look at this and tell me this is good,” Crowley snaps.

On the cross, Jesus has long since stopped making noise, and the sight of his body makes Crowley feel a little sick. Surely one human shouldn’t have that much blood in them; surely one human shouldn’t look so twisted, so wrong. The thorns have torn the skin on his scalp, and the blood has run down his face, down his cheeks, like some sort of awful parody of tears. John is screaming. It is the only sound in the world.

“I can’t believe God would ever,” Aziraphale says, and stops, and his face is twisted in anguish, “I mean - this is so awful. There must be a good purpose behind it. There must.”

Otherwise what is there?

“He truly loved him,” Crowley says softly. “And now he’s dead. What will John do now?”

He can’t wait to hear Aziraphale’s answer - he doesn’t think he can bear it. It’s the work of a second to slip into the skin of a snake, the animal Eve loved the most, and to slither away under the scrubby apple tree clinging to sand to survive.

☼

14th February 1212, Cologne

“This is foolish,” says Crowley. He doesn’t have to look to know Aziraphale is beside him.

“Crowley-”

“They are children, Aziraphale!”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale says, and he sounds broken. He’s dressed like a German shepherding man, this time, and it oddly fits with Crowley, dressed as he is like a minor noblewoman from the Rhineland. They blend into the crowd here, listening to the child Nicholas speak, shaking his tiny fist in the air. Encouraging his crowd to war.

The cheers are high-pitched, because not a single voice among them has broken. The crowd must be thousands strong, tens of thousands, all whipped up into holy fervour by the dreams of one child, and now they’re going to march to war.

“They are children,” Crowley hisses. “You can’t talk to me about the ineffable plan. Not now. Don’t have the gall to speak to me about that.”

“Come with me,” Aziraphale says. His hand wraps around Crowley’s, like they did at Golgotha, and holds him tight. “I can’t do anything, and I can’t watch any longer.”

Aziraphale miracles them away to a quiet mountain in the southern part of the world, somewhere that will be found by Columbus in a little bit, somewhere that the native people call only home. This mountain is remote, tall, and huge trees spread their branches over the top of it, casting shadows that protect the pair of them from the watchful eyes of the sun.

As soon as Crowley balances himself from the miracle performed, Aziraphale is letting go of him and pressing his hands to his eyes. “They’re all so young,” he’s shouting, and he sounds angry. “So young! What do they know of the Holy Land!”

It almost frightens Crowley - he’s used to Aziraphale explaining it all away, calling it ineffable, saying it’s part of the Plan, and to have this -

This uncertain Aziraphale -

Crowley’s heart aches for something he’ll never deserve.

“Angel,” he says, and catches Aziraphale by the wrists, prying his hands away from his eyes, “Aziraphale - oh, don’t. Please don’t.”

Aziraphale’s eyes are rimmed in red. “They’re all going to die,” he whispers. “What are we going to do?”

Crowley doesn’t say there’s nothing they can do, because Aziraphale surely knows that, and it would hurt too much to say. He just keeps holding Aziraphale, underneath a wide and spreading tree, and curses Above and Below until he’s sure to be blue in the face, until he can curse no more.

He doesn’t know when they sink to the ground, only that they do, and Crowley can do nothing but sit as Aziraphale wipes wet eyes on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” he sniffs. “I never meant for this to happen.”

“You had nothing to do with it,” Crowley says, and he says it as though it’s fact.

(Although in truth, he’s had very little to do with Aziraphale this past decade; he just assumes, and knows he’s right to do so, that Aziraphale would never do anything that would lead to something like this.)

“But he’s doing it in the name of God,” Aziraphale’s voice sounds wet.

“Angel,” Crowley says, and cynicism makes a home in his heart even though he doesn’t mean it to, “You know as well as I do that God has nothing to do with what happens down here.”

He sits, and lets the angel wring himself dry of the tears. All the same - it is a long time before they go back to Europe.

☼

in between, always, everywhere

Crowley learns from humanity, the lessons he’s been taught himself since before time began. Love is patient, love is kind… love is cruel, love is blind. He and Aziraphale meet and tangle, and hold hands, and once Aziraphale holds him by the cheeks and kisses him drunkenly on the forehead. They are wrapped together, and the world seems far too small to hold the both of them.

Crowley loves him. Nothing more, nothing less.

Aziraphale is beautiful, and in his laugh and his smile and the crinkle of his eyes Crowley finds a very particular peace. He can live without having the love returned, so long as he gets to exist around him.

He tells jokes, and he likes fine wine, and he reads poetry, and he never stumbles on quotations when he’s drunk. He goes very fast and very slow, all the time, flitting from country to country and then staying in one village for a hundred years. He does good deeds and bad deeds, and when he sees Crowley after a long absence, his eyes soften and his mouth opens and he says oh my dear, i’m so glad to see you! and something inside Crowley’s chest grabs him tight. Holds him. Vice-like, it says You Love Him and stubbornly Crowley refuses to listen.

Love is patient, love is kind. Crowley watches Aziraphale eat, watches him flirt, watches him be as cruel and dismissive as the harsh sting of a winter morning, watches him pour blessings like water to a flame, and watches all the while.

Nothing more, nothing less.

☼

5th October 1589, Cornwall

The wedding isn’t a very happy one. Crowley hovers in the crowd, wrapped in his shawls, and watches the bride walk down the gravel path to the church, her face stormy, the bruise on her cheek stroking the skin there like the kiss of a mother. The groom is inside, and walking with a limp.

This far South, the Romans and the Christians after them were pretty successful in wiping clean the slate of Celtic spirit, which Crowley finds quite a shame. He always enjoyed the spirituality of the druids, the manic chanting, the fun behind the myths - but he can’t quite complain, either, because the Celts haven’t quite as much fear of demons as the Christians. The Celts would have befriended him.

Still, in Cornwall the old ways cling on a little, and the wedding is between two peasants without a single bean to their name, and no need to care about the Christian path. The couple are Bakerson, Robert and Millie, and they are marrying through an arrangement with their parents, so somebody can inherit the small village bakery and the farm that goes with it. The Bakersons are a wealthy family.

“Poor girl,” says a voice in Crowley’s ear, and before Crowley can jump Aziraphale’s hand grabs his wrist. “It’s only me, dear.”

“Aziraphale,” Crowley manages. “I-”

“She was in love with the tinker,” Aziraphale says sadly. He’s wearing the clothes of a travelling gentleman, and looks quite out of place in a crowd of peasants and their cousins; all the same, nobody looks at him twice. A simple miracle.

“I know.”

“He was in love with the bootboy.”

“I know,” Crowley says again. An odd bitterness fills him. “I’ve been here for almost ten years, angel - I know these people. I was trying to let her run away with the thrice-damned tinker, much good it did them, and the bootboy was never meant to get cold feet.”

“Temptation,” Aziraphale says disapprovingly.

“I tempted them to nothing,” Crowley says. The church bells ring. “I only tempted them to forget the wills of their parents and do what their hearts told them, and look what that got me.”

“Honour thy father and mother,” Aziraphale quotes. In his mouth the commandment sounds soft and gentle, like something to encourage.

Crowley feels ill. He is gone before Robert and his new bride emerge, glowering in the light of a new day, although Mr Fell stays in the village a while longer, and for a long time their little community is blessed with incredible good fortune - the travelling tinker man stays several months, next time he visits. Miss Crow, though, is never seen in the place again, and rumour has it she was herself a spurned lover, and something happened between her and the fine gentleman. Mr Fell will never confirm nor deny, but he looks awfully sad when she’s brought up.

☼

1st December 1801, London

They are drinking in Aziraphale’s bookshop - drinking rather expensive wine - and Crowley is so, so tired.

He gets like this sometimes. Tired of existing maybe, without a break since the world first began, tired of loving Aziraphale for so long and knowing this is all he’ll ever get in return, tired of living in a world that was never designed for him to exist in. This is why sleep is the only real human indulgence he goes in for. He needs to rest.

“You need to drink,” Aziraphale hiccups, and splashes more wine into the cup in Crowley’s hand. “You look so cold, my dear, you need to drink!”

“I don’t really think I do,” Crowley says, but he does as he’s told. Does what Aziraphale wants.

(Hah!)

They’re drinking a very fine whisky; Crowley’s spent a lot of time in Scotland, and has developed quite the taste for it, orange fire down his throat. It burns. Aziraphale doesn’t like it as much, says he prefers the wine and port and drink of southerly places, but Crowley likes alcohol made only to keep you warm at night. Either freeze, or drink fire. Either way you end up dead.

Aziraphale winces when he next takes a drink, but he doesn’t say anything. Crowley watches him out of the corner of his eye, as he always does, otherwise he’d miss it.

The bookshop is a new addition, one that has arrived since the last time Crowley saw Aziraphale - although that was a very long time ago, almost half a century. Seventeen-sixty-three, when Aziraphale had been sent by heaven across the water to one of those continents untouched by human hands yet, when Crowley decided to wander over to Ireland on sabbatical. Fat lot of good that had done him. United Irishmen? Hah.

But the bookshop suits Aziraphale down to the ground, it does. He’s always been a lot more rooted to places than Crowley, who prefers to be on the move, through the change… Aziraphale likes to pick a place and settle into it like  a mother hen ruffling into a dirt bath. Cooing. Content. And this way, Aziraphale has his collection to hand without anyone trying to burn him for witchcraft, which is always a plus - considering.

A drunk finger lands on Crowley’s knee. “Stop thinking,” says Aziraphale with the gusto of the happily tipsy. “You think too much. Stop it.”

“I can’t help but think,” Crowley says, even as he takes another deep slug of the whisky.

“Ridiculous. Should be against the law.”

“Thinking?”

Aziraphale nods. “Precisely.”

But none of this helps the fact that Crowley is still so very tired, and all he wants to do is sleep for a hundred years. He wants to stop loving Aziraphale. It hurts too much, and even more because he knows there is no reward - there is no breaking point, no place he can hit that makes everything alright. He just loves and sinks and keeps loving and sinking, and Aziraphale shines with all the brilliance of a thousand suns and that’s all Crowley will ever be, right up until the end of the world.

“Angel,” he says, and then stops, shocked at how cracked and broken his voice sounds. “Aziraphale.”

Aziraphale looks briefly alarmed. “My dear boy-”

“I’m very tired,” Crowley says, a little lamely. “Do you mind if I skip out on the after-drinks?”

“No, no, but-”

“I’m tired,” Crowley says again.

None of this helps that, even in the breaking point, he knows he’ll never stop loving Aziraphale. This is as low as he’ll ever go, and even then -

And even then -

It never ends.

☼

the first day of the rest of the world, London

“Where did you get that painting?”

Aziraphale had spent the night after the apocalypse in Crowley’s flat, where they’d shared the bed and stayed up all night, each convinced the other was asleep, wondering how on earth to proceed without making the other feel uncomfortable. Now, though, they’re in the bookshop with some tea and buns, because nothing feels more solid than a scone with butter and jam on the top.

(Crowley refuses to mention which way round. He doesn’t want to anger the Cornish.)

“What painting?” Aziraphale stops with his cup halfway to his mouth, looking a bit confused.

“That one,” Crowley nods towards it. In truth, he recognises it well enough, even though it’s been over a hundred years since it was painted; Alfred was such a lovely man, so accommodating, and Paris in the 70s (no, not those ones) had been such a friendly place. Full of so much - newness.

He’d only woken up to refresh himself, really, because sleeping for almost a hundred years does take it out of you, and by chance he’d wandered onto the streets of Paris and found himself in a bundle of men in black hats, all talking very excitedly about colour and light and how absolutely mad it was that nobody would let them in. It had all been rather fun.

“Anthony,” Alfred had said, a little breathless, “Won’t you let me paint you? I have excellent studio light, and you beg a painting. I can see it. Please?”

“Oh, if you must,” Crowley had said, as though it meant nothing.

It had been nice, the kisses. Very soft. Alfred loved him and didn’t seem to mind that his Anthony was detached, because it was Paris in the 1870s and you took what you could get and you didn’t care about the secrets everyone was hiding. It had been nice.

So  -

“Where did you get it,” Crowley asks again, in the now, after everything.

Aziraphale looks a little flustered. “I - it was in Paris, you see, and it was almost going to be seventy-five years after I’d seen you… you remember that sleep you took, all of the nineteenth century, and I - well, one of my friends, a sort of… he was a confidant, you see, Oscar and everything, and he mentioned this delightfully odd art movement in Paris, and so I went. Sisley was very… delicate. And that awful art critic was there. And-”

“Did you ever learn who the sitter was?”

If possible, Aziraphale looks even redder. “Um. Sisley never said-”

“But you know,” Crowley says. “You recognised it.”

“I hadn’t seen you in almost a century!”

Crowley shrugs. “I told you I was tired.”

“And then I saw you in that painting, so of course I was going to buy it,” Aziraphale looks almost angry at him now. “Alfred Sisley! And of course, when I asked where you’d gone he said he’d had his heart broken by you and he had no idea. I spent all that time looking for you, and then-”

“I was asleep.”

“You could have told me!”

“I did,” Crowley says, watching Aziraphale get more and more frantic with a sort of wild confusion, “I said I was tired, and that I was going to bed, and I’d see you in a bit. I thought… I didn’t think you’d mind at all, really.”

“Mind!”

“Uh.”

“Of course I would mind!” Aziraphale doesn’t often raise his voice, never mind making the sort of shrieking yell he is now, so when he does it makes Crowley shut up and listen. “Crowley - you idiot! Of course I would mind, you frustrating, ridiculous, stupid-”

“I did it because I was in love with you,” Crowley says.

Silence.

“I was in love with you and I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I went to sleep. For a long time. I thought when I woke up I would be over it.”

Silence. There’s a blob of strawberry jam on Aziraphale’s nose, where the scone he was eating had obviously proven a bit too unwieldy.

Crowley finishes his cup of tea and sets it on the table, very deliberate, and quite loud. “And that’s the end of it,” he says, “And I hope there’ll be no more. Any scones left, or did you eat them all- mmf-”

Aziraphale is not a good kisser, and neither is Crowley, because until very recently both their Head Offices looked down on immortal beings going in for sins of the flesh. That doesn’t matter. That doesn’t matter at all, because they’ve both waited for far too long for it to be anything other than a good kiss.

“L’homme distrait,” Aziraphale says breathlessly, a little while later. “I always wondered - the man, distracted by what?”

“You shouldn’t need to ask,” Crowley says. And kisses him again, because he can.

[kendricksendrick]

Hi so im in a deferred drug diversion program through my school for something that happened back in january and i rly just need to use this space as a diary for a few hot seconds and tell it how it is/tell my thoughts ig.

Basically in january my roommate and i were smoking weed out our dorm window (i know stupid move but listen) it was during interim (3 weeks where we take 1 or 2 classes) and my hall was p much EMPTY like nobody was there except one other friend. Basically we’d get all our hw done by like 3, nap, eat dinner, shower, smoke, and go to bed at like 8pm out of literal boredom. One night after were done w the ritual just eating chips or somrth there was a knock on the door and it was campus police and blablabla searched the room, had to do the walk of shame in shorts and my winter coat all the way around the building to the dumpster (it was cold as fuck im in wisco) and long story short they told us wed be in the drug diversion program (ddp for short) to get the charge off our record.

Beginning of 2nd semester sometime in early feb we had a meeting w some hall director to explain what happened basically, then had to do the online aoda2 program and 1.5hrs of counseling where we had to again explain everything and why we were doing what we did (extreme boredom (were also stoners but besides the fact)). Anyways theyre like yeah your ddp letter and info shouldcome in about a month.

Letter gets to us beginning of march and said we had 30days to pay the $200 program fee or set up a court date. No way was i finna go to court so im like sheet gotta get this bread somehow. Then bam, corona hits and my school tells us we have 2days to leave campus and they dont know when were coming back, u know that drill. So we call the district attorney (da) and are like hi were being sent home and were supposed to pay this fee like tomorrow what do we do? They said don’t worry about it theyll be in contact w us, just to go home etc.

I go home and forget about the ddp until one day end of april they mail me THE EXACT SAME LETTER (SAME MARCH 30th payment deadline, timestamped early march and all) like the same letter to a T that they sent us earlier in the yr. so i call them and am like ok whats up w this its the same thing?? The lady was like just send us your money for the program and we’ll figure it out in the fall and we’ll be in touch.

Fast forward through the whole summer (where j may kr may not have smoked every day out of boredom and sadness bc hello corona) and i move back to school in September and am minding my damn business going about my life when j get a letter saying i missed a piss test in September. Im like the fuck? They didnt tell me it started (otherwise i wouldve quit smoking in idk august) so i call and im like hi you didnt tell me this started and the lady was like well it was implied that youd start when you get bacj to campus and i was like but you didnt follow up like you said and she was like yea sry just start going in for them now its fine.

So now winter break is coming up right, and its like 2months long at my school and i live far away and dont have a car to skedaddle up here on no notice for piss tests that my parents know nothing about so i called them today and explained the situation. Basically what theyre doing is freezing my status in the program from dec 18-jan 29th while im home on break so i want have to do ua’s or anything but when i come back for second semester end of January i have to pick up where i left off (which is one clean piss test on nov 24, the day i left for thxgiving break btw lmao cause i didnt quit till i got the letter saying i had missed a ua in early october)

Basically w the ddp you have a year to have 6consecutive months of clean ua’s and wipe your record, which wouldnt be a problem, but i have a few issues with it.

[haikyuusuperherozine]

Big Sorry #2

Who would have thought I would ever need to write that? Me definitely not.

Seriously though guys, I’m so very sorry about this lack of communication. I’m not trying to come up with empty excuses for why things are as they are because however many words, in the end they’re just that: words. They won’t change anything and I apologise for that. Let me try to explain anyway as good as I can and once I’m done I’ll tell you what we decided to do to make up for it.

So first of all, I’m a full time student working part time. I tried to finish the zine in October, but as I’m a writer and not an artist I needed time and feedback to deal with the zine-designing. As I worked on the issues that were brought up, a couple of co-workers got sick and I had to work extra shifts that made it difficult to balance the zine and university. I thought it would be solved quickly (I mean how long are people sick in general? 2 weeks? Sounds easy enough). Well, let’s say I was wrong.

I didn’t want to post another empty lip service either, though, so I thought, I’d finish it in December and post about its completion as a Christmas gift. With the difference that my in-law went crazy bc of christmas and her 30th birthday on new years and then I had essays to write and shifts to work and, to make matters worse, my dad was hospitalised a week before christmas. He was released a few days later but even now he’s still on pain meds (his spine is drilling into his hip bone, leaving indents, which apparently only happened/was only noticeable recently and he was advised against surgery). I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how difficult the holidays were afterwards.

To make up for my break of schedule, I ordered the merch a day before new years and didn’t get to check the process of the order until two weeks later (we celebrated my in-laws birthday with a ~one~ week vacation on an island not too far away and the wifi was really bad). One of the orders had a delay of shipment as it crossed borders and I needed to get in contact with the people in charge to get the shipment from the border to my home. The other... well. Let’s just say I’m an idiot. (I didn’t know they needed me to approve of a draft okay).

(Look at all the postcards and sticky notes!!! <3)

And then there was the zine itself. During the time frame I couldn’t work on it, my trial versions ran out of time and I couldn’t figure out how to deal with the still open issues without getting a full version that I’d have to pay monthly throughout the next half year for when I’d only need it for another month. I was saved though by the amazing @macbeth-macdeath​ who not only dealt with my mistakes but also made it 100x more beautiful than I could have ever imagined!!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH COREY!!!!

WHICH LEADS ME TO THE CONCLUSION OF THIS ESSAY:

THE ZINE IS DONE: F-U-L-L-Y DONE! NO PROOFCHECKS LEFT, NO FEEDBACK TO GIVE, NO PAGES TO EDIT: D-O-N-E! THE COPIES ARE ORDERED AND ON THEIR WAY TO ME!!!

SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY GUYS BUT WE DID IT!!! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR PATIENCE UP TILL NOW, I KNOW IT WASN’T EASY WITH US. <3

Everyone who ordered from our shop, please check your mails! We sent the PDF to you. If you didn’t receive it, please leave a message in our inbox or email us with the name you put on the order.

[harryfeatgaga]

Paige how are u holding up during all of this mess? Listening to music? FaceTiming friends? Painting your nails? Cleaning and re organizing your house? How’s school?

iM PRETTY GOOD TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY I WAS ACTUALLY HOME ALL DAY LMAO IM PRETTY BORED BUT I got my nails done in the beginning of the week right before places started closing thankfully iejdbhffuhc FaceTiming yes def been doing that and cleaning and school work can wait this was my spring break week originally so LMAOOO and they are still figuring out what there gonna do pasta march 30th lmfao 😭

Anonymous said: Paige sorry this is dumb but I am just wondering because I’m getting deep anxiety about going outdoors. Did they (the government/ whoever is in charge of each state/county bc I’m in the US) decide to only close things like malls and restaurants and movie theaters? Like are the gynecologist and dentist offices still open? Don’t laugh I genuinely am curious because I think I might need to make an obgyn appointment but idk if they’re open and I’m scared to go outside should I just go to urgent care

its depending state to state right now but medical buildings should be staying open I would def call them thought to make sure!

Anonymous said: Paige I’m so sad I feel so robbed. this is my last semester in college and I won’t even be able to have a proper graduation/commencement because we are doing online classes for the rest of the semester and they postponed/cancelled all school activities including graduation. I know that they mail the real diploma anyway but I was looking forward to graduation and walking across the stage as a way to close this chapter of my life & all the shit I went through. They postponed graduation until fall

im so sorry babe :((((( this whole thing is so awful and ruining so many things

[flashflashitsash]

What’s the story behind #37? Near death experience? You don’t have to say if you don’t want to. Just curious!

I don’t mind!

So a little preface-

1. My mom was pregnant with my sister, she was due July 31.

2.This is all occurring on the 30th, into the 31st.

3. I was about 14? At the time

4. This was also happening during my first band camp so I was already mad I had to miss it to be in the hospital.(I know I’m a former band nerd)

So I was wearing a long maxi dress, and was around the mall, trying on clothes, sitting around. And I notice this bump on my upper right thigh, it was summer so I figured it was a mosquito bite.

The day goes on, it’s about 6pm now. I’m helping with dinner and I decide to go take a shower, and I notice that the bump, has gotten significantly bigger, I shrug it off ( IM STUPID.) I go down eat dinner, and that’s when the pain starts.

So after dinner at about 7:30 my mom and dad are going back and forth about what todo, since the bump had begun to turn black, my thigh was turning red, and was extremely hot to the touch. My skin was burning because it kept stretching and the bump wouldn’t “pop” so the skin was just getting tighter.

So we go to the children’s hospital and they have me sit there for a while. It’s about 9pm when they finally bring me back to a room. They take a look at my leg and they’re stumped. They have no idea what’s wrong besides the fact that it’s bad. I couldn’t walk, I looked fine, everywhere else, but I felt like shit. My head was hurting, my hands were sweaty, and my leg was VERY hot at this point, my skin on my thigh where the swelling was was raised and it was a huge oval shape around this stupid black bump. About the size of a pen cap.

They draw a circle around the red swolleness to see how far it continues to spread. They give me in fluids, they were going to give me an antibiotic but me and my dumb luck, I’m allergic to most antibiotics 🙃. So they start running tests. Meanwhile, my entire thigh has turned red. Im feeling stupid and they finally decide to start giving me an antibiotic, when they realize that the infection was getting into my blood stream. My doctor came in and told me that the tests results were all pointing to signs of a brown recluse spider bite. The doctor could not decide what todo, that either I needed surgery or to just let the antibiotic do its thing. But—since I’m allergic to the antibiotic that would’ve done all the work itself. It’s taking too long for this lesser antibiotic and the infection is spreading in my skin.

It’s about 6 am when my mom is like “haha gotta go, I’m in labor” (my mother does not get labor pains, she just gets anxiety (wtf ik) ) so my grandma was cussing her out in Spanish about how the hell is she going to leave me alone in the hospital. Blah blah. She leaves to go to her hospital, and my doctors finally decide that I need immediate surgery.

At around 8 am, they call my dad and confirm over the phone for me to have surgery and then they’re rushing me back and I’m knocked the fuck out in minutes like in the movies.

Few hours later they come and tell me that if I wouldn’t have come in when I did, and if they had waited longer todo the surgery, I could have 1) lost my leg. Or 2) died bc it was getting into my blood stream.

I had a gnarly 1.5 in wide, 1 in long, and 3 in deep hole in my leg (like dug my skin out with a shovel) they couldn’t close it bc I had developed a staff infection.

I have pictures which I find cool but not many do. If ya wanna see feel free to message me :D

Oh and they had doped me up on so much antibiotic that I developed an allergy to that antibiotic so :| I had hives to top everything off.

But yeah that’s my near death experience.

[govandalsncaa]

#21 Idaho set to host Colorado

The #21 Idaho Vandals 2-0 are coming off of a bye week, that followed one of their most thrilling victories in school history. Idaho found a new level of moxie, in defeating the Auburn Tigers 24-21 in overtime.

That win, has likely cemented Dustin Coleman as the starting quarterback, and has brought with it a new attitude on the field for the Vandals. This team does not seem to be so concerned with personal statistics or accolades, and simply wants to win games by any means necessary. The loss to Notre Dame in last year's BCS National Championship game still eats at this team, and they have their eyes on returning to that game, in order to heal that still open wound.

Dylan Thigpen continues to lead the team on the field, with his incredible speed and vision in the backfield. Defensively, the Vandals have stars all over the field, that have the ability to keep them in nearly any ball game they will play this season.

Looking ahead to the matchup with the Colorado Buffaloes 2-1 (0-1) is certainly intriguing. Colorado has won their last two games, over UMass and Hawaii, after falling in their season opener to their rivals, the Colorado State Rams. The Buffs are led by quarterback Steven Montez and H-Back Beau Bisharat. Colorado has been stingy on defense so far this season, allowing an average of just 274.0 yards per game, good enough for 30th in the country.

Coach Idaho Coach spoke about the bye week and Idaho's game against the Buffs in his weekly radio address.

"We had a really good bye week. I think it was timed perfectly. We got to look at a lot of film, and sort of get back to basics, and figure out where we have started to go wrong, so we can make a mid-course correction. We know we have a tough test this week with Colorado. They are a physical football team, and one that we know won't beat themselves. We're excited to be back in the Dome and ready to get after it on Saturday."

ESPN college football analyst Kirk Herbstreit has picked Idaho to pick up a win in its first conference game of the season. This columnist agrees.

Prediction:

Vandals: 31

Buffaloes: 14