#bc we don't conform to “normality”

[sarahlancashire]

there's a thing that happens, when a same-sex relationship (especially if it's an f/f relationship/ involves a female character who has only been involved with men before) is introduced into mainstream media, where a certain type of straight person will go to facebook or similar and complain about it, and then other straight people will join in, and say things like "but apparently our opinions don't matter because we're heterosexual" and i just. FUCKING HATE IT.

we are not saying your opinions don't matter!! we are saying you're wrong, and you're being offensive, and now you have the audacity to mock us for calling you out!!

straight people can find validation and representation in nearly all media that have ever existed, and some of them are still not fucking satisfied.

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🌈 2 Days Until my Surgery 🌈

(Picture taken June 8th, 2024)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ I finished up most of the story yesterday so today I'll queerness bc it's pride month under the cut! 🌈🌈🌈

But you can read through my journey starting here

First, let's talk about this outfit. Yes, I bought the shorts and top at Spencer's and honestly you can easily find someone who matches it at a large enough pride event. But, it's hard for me to not be sentimental about it. Especially since I wore it at least once the last three years.

(Pictures taken June 11, 2022 and June 10, 2023)

And you can see how it and I have subtly changed these last three years of my transition. (Too bad I didn't have for my first year of transition but such is life 🤷‍♀️). And every year I get excited to wear it again!

Because being queer means a lot to me. I wasn't one of those people who always knew they were queer. But, I never felt connected to my cishet peers either. It's odd looking back and thinking about how my normal group of friends were cishet but at things like summer camp and then college I would quickly make friends with queer people. I really wanted to be like them but couldn't know why because I felt like I didn't deserve to be as cool and free as them.

But, when I let myself dive head into queerness I finally realized that I queer people are mostly awkward nerds and all of them just want to live their lives as fully honestly themselves. And that I could relate to. And that's what made it easy for me "to rip off the band-aid" and transition. It's what let me walk out into a world where I knew I would get hateful stares because I knew I wasn't alone. And seeing how other queer people's eyes light up when they see me showed me I made the right decision because I made them feel less alone too.

And making friends in the queer community is so much easier than in the cishet community. Because there's a lot more likelihood that they'll understand your awkwardness and admire your weirdness. I said earlier that I had gone to a few house parties and actually enjoyed myself for the first time. I think the best way to show why is this anecdote. I remember being in this circle of people standing around awkwardly silent and then someone said "I'm autistic and house parties make me uncomfortable can someone start talking?" and someone replied with how they felt the same way and how they felt the same way and then a conversation started about how hard parties are and social interactions in general but we were glad to be here and to try to connect with people.

And I love studying queer history a lot. Mostly because I'm curious how I would fit in to a time/culture in history. But also I love seeing how we don't fit in existed and how society understood our non-conformity. We have always existed. Queerness is part of the human condition.

The queer community is far from perfect. We all come from very different backgrounds and often have biases we need to work on. But, it's worth it to carve out your place in the community and to find people who understand and support you and to reciprocate for them. Because the alternative is being alone.

And we all deserve to feel loved, in whatever form you need. And because I'm feeling sentimental so here's a picture of me and my love 🥲

(Picture taken June 8th, 2024)

I have one last update before my surgery tomorrow where I'll look towards the future ✨

Next part

[tirfpikachu]

replied to a fellow gyn's post about this already but... i actually really love seeing gnc women embrace typically female names. it's so easy to assume we must use typically male names the second we start being seen as not "womanly" enough in how we dress/act, especially if we're sapphic too. we need to fully take on the Male Role and anything female-coded doesn't suit us anymore. but honestly, i love seeing gnc women have traditionally female names & gnc men with traditionally male names, and have them just be like "so what?" because it shows that people with those names CAN be gnc. people with those clothes/behaviors/etc really CAN be normies.

they don't need to conform to whatever bullshit gender roles their sex is associated with. of course ppl can change names if it makes them happiest, i myself did for a while, but i feel like it's not talked about often enough how badass it is to see a she/her gnc woman who still shrugs off being female, or a confident feminine guy who is still a dude. seeing ppl's eyes widen when they realize that female ppl who aren't trans really CAN look and act like that, and male ppl who aren't trans CAN be feminine and still be cool with their sex at birth, and not even have it be a gay thing either. it's a uniquely radical way to be gnc too. those folks still experience gncphobia, a unique kind of sexism and people can't be like "oh yeah they're trans/gay... THAT'S why they're so unwomanly/unmanly! otherwise it'd just be weird haha!" which makes more sense in their tiny sexist brains.

it's 100% cool to tie your sexuality to your gender nonconformity in some ways, but imo it's also really fucking cool to see a gnc woman who isn't gnc bc she's gay or trans or whatever. same with a gnc dude. you ofc can be gnc and distance yourself from male/female-typical things if it makes you happier, that's cool too. but people who don't are also amazing in a unique kinda way. because current society thinks breaking outside your box means there's something different about you. they see masculinity or the lack of femininity and think female things/terms "just don't suit you." they see femininity on a male body and assume it must say you're different. that it must mean you want to be seen as a woman, it must mean you want the world to see you as unmanly. but when you tell them that no, being a man and wearing sparkly shit and skirts doesn't make you less likely to identify as not a man, or more likely to be gay bc it's a "womanly" thing to be feminine... when you say no, it just means you like sparkles and skirts just so happen to be comfy for you... it breaks their little brain. when you're female and aren't dysphoric about it, aren't trying to distance yourself from femaleness at all, yet you STILL allow your body to be naturally hairy and you wear things that aren't skin-tight or wear unfeminine pants and boxers bc you don't have to worry about showing your ass while doing normal human shit, or that you'd rather spend your time cuddling your pet bunny and watching dumb reality tv in the morning instead of spending half an hour before work doing makeup and wearing hyperfem bullshit and microanalyzing your appearance, now THAT threatens the patriarchy in its own way too.

if being gnc isn't just a trans thing anymore, isn't just a gay/bi thing anymore, that means the foundations of the heteropatriarchy aren't as solid as bio men and brainwashed female folks would like to believe they are and even their OWN camp are fighting against it. when we make being gnc accessible to all and have it say fuckall about someone other than what clothes they like to wear or behaviors they like to do... that makes the patriarchy sweat in ways it's not used to. there's lots of ways to go against it, but it's always super refreshing for me as a gnc dyke to see some gnc folks not distance themselves from being male/female. and as a lesbian, i actually fucking love seeing gnc cis/bio hetero men & women too. feminine men and unfeminine women, metrosexuals/femboys and tomboys or whatever society wants to call y'all. i want being gnc to be an anti-sexist movement that overlaps with lgbt rights but also has its own spaces. i want being gnc to be shrugged off as being totally big deal, and have it say nothing about somebody, have it not be weaponized against gnc women and teach gnc boys they don't need to "man up" or whatever the fuck. i want people to be gnc in whatever way they want. this ain't the only way to rage against the machine, but it's a form of expression i feel like isn't celebrated enough. anyone facing gncphobia in their day-to-day lives is badass as hell <3

[virtue-boy]

don't really get the 'endangered butch' thing like I see a lot of butches in my day to day life. I just think soft butch is more normal now like you dont have to be a butch butch butch to survive as a butch anymore, just like you can be a masc gay guy who is also kind of a nelly. Like I have tons of butch friends and I probably half of everyone I do organizing with is butch. Like look I'm just one guy maybe you used to see 500 butches every single day or something but like I see butches all the time I just think people are discounting a lot of people's masculinity or something. Like people are like "When was the last time I saw a butch?" and I'm like bruh I saw like 4 yesterday at a queer meeting what are you on about. Like maybe not hard hard butches but like I kind of think every type of queer identity has loosened up a bit like everyone's more androgynous now. Idk its just maddening to me becuase this narrative makes no fucking sense with my own life. I legit just think that it is people discounting butches who don't fit a certain image of a 30 something hard white cis butch with a midsize to buff build in blue collar cosplay, which of course, shout out but like, that's one type of person. I literally see people alllll the time who would be considered butch if they were taller, cis-female passing, buff, less fat or more in line with ideas of white masculinity. And I mean, 90% of the time when someone says something like this they are definitely not including trans female butches in their definition of the category.

Or like, legit I think this must come down to hair. Like mullet and mid-length hair is big in masculine style rn for all ethnicities and genders. Like I know so many people who would be cookie cutter Butch if they got a crew cut instead of having like, Nickelback hair or a mullet. Like are we really declaring a postmortem on butches over what military conscript's hair looked like in 1950? Or like, what white bloggers in San Francisco were wearing 2006 - 2014? Are we really going to discount all the non-white men's fashions and styles that have mid and long length hair?

The other thing I think must be some kind of gender purity definition of butch as a cis woman, so people are declaring butch dead because people use they/them or identify as non-binary, as if "butch" historically was purely "woman-identified" that never used gender non-conforming language or there were never butches who never identified as girls or women. And of course like, ignoring butch trans women off the bat even through like, they are literally carrying the torch and understand butch more than any cis femme ever could as they are intentional butch women. Anyways.

I legitimately challenge people to think about the hair thing though. I actually think huge swathes of butches are being written off bc they have mid length hair or they dress more like an architect than an auto mechanic or something. Or just that they don't do any blue collar cosplay at all and just wear men's hoodies and shit. I don't know but like, I just saw a post about someone saying that someone said "you're the first butch I've seen in forever" and I'm just like ??? I've seen like 10 butches of various ages and backgrounds I know personally in the last month.

[liminalweirdo]

had some thoughts today while doing our annual october spooky movie month & rewatching The Ring. this is from my letterboxd. (Come friend me especially if you like horror!! i need recommendations!)

anyway, excerpt, bc this is what i really wanted to talk about:

Rewatched [The Ring] for the first time in a while and man it's really a shame that we've moved so far away from "weird" meaning weird.

people in horror movies used to be weird weird. Women in horror movies used to be weird. They used to be kinda spooky, abrasive, abrupt. (i'm talking about the first two girls we see in this film, and the other female characters that pop in as extras throughout)

nowadays, weird just means quirky. it's awkward, but kinda cute. and there's no more of that greasy, emo, unapologetic and undeniable out-of-placeness that makes the audience genuinely cringe a little.

Weirdos, their edges used to be sharper. Now everything is just rounded out, smoothed and softened. it's weird but it's a gentle weird. it's acceptable. it's not too much.

like seriously watch any late 90s, early-2000s movie and you'll find that the weirdos are weirder. weirdos have been weird since the 70s. look at Carrie, Arnie from Christine, The Craft, Willard, Ginger Snaps, The Blair Witch Project. Like-- Heather is weird. it's why so many people don't like her (for some reason). Now, everyone loves the weirdo because they're actually just... kinda normal. just with a fun little bow on that says "weird"

idk, horror has really lost its edge since the pandemic started, and i don't know if it's going to get it back any time soon. maybe the world's just too scary for horror right now, idk. or maybe people are too pressured to conform. maybe it's more dangerous than ever not to?

[joleneghoul]

Random thoughts I've had about vanishing point and the Carter siblings (Rip and Rani specifically)

I kind of feel like time travel/temporal magic within the DC universe is a way to touch on the meta of the many rebirths and multiverses of this setting. These are characters who are aware of things that only the reader is often allowed to be aware of from an outsider standpoint because they, too, are outsiders to the narrative like us.

Rip often in stories exists to be a character who without directly (minus once) looking to the reader says "hey did you see that? I saw that, too." Or in the case of the many rebirths of the universe,"remember that? Me too. " When most other characters exist within the confinement of the box the story puts them in.

This, to me, directly reflects the fact he grew up at Vanishing Point, which its name itself i think is a funny little narrative joke but also exists OUTSIDE the overarching narrative of the multiverse.

Look at it like this. What is a Vanishing Point? It's a place on the horizon you look to for guidance on perspective. That's the same for the location.

Now, Vanishing Point offers a few issues when I look at it from a story perspective. These questions I go back to are often.

1. If this is a place that exists outside of time, how does time work within it?

Well, I don't really believe that there is NO time on vanishing point nor that there's ALL of time. I moreso see this place as existing within its own bubble, not part of the multiverse but existing as its own thing, so it can remain unchanged as these universes metamorphosize into new ones. Also, this is why it's so hard to find. it's like looking for a location on Mars while driving around Earth.

There has to be SOME semblance of moving time in this place, and maybe its localized to who steps foot there. Personal in a way. But i say there HAS to be time because both Rani and Rip grow and get older there. (Maybe you can say Rani spent more childhood on earth than rip did but i kinda find it difficult to believe that Rips sister isnt just as important as him and wouldnt need the same protections Rip does for some amount of time in childhood. But hey, that's me. And i dont entirely dislike that take either.)

2. If it's one location, then how can throughout time these characters exist there? How do we not overlap with the past and present versions of our characters if the past and present doesnt technically exist within the bubble?

Again time does technically exist in this place just different from the time that exists everywhere else. If we believe vanishing point exists to give the person there a better perspective then vanishing point will place you where you need to be (not that rules cant be broken bc thats the fun of these guidelines, to push them into something interesting in our stories not 100% conform to them)

3. These things considered what would growing up or living within this space be like?

Same as anywhere else, I think it depends. I think people in normal life can grow up in the same house under the same circumstances yet have completely different life experiences from that- its the same here. But in an overarching sense I think as a ever moving floating bubble of concentrated time thats ever changing its kind of the perfect place for a time traveler to hide some kids, because well the place would probably work to hide them from trouble itself.

I kind of get the feeling its a place that the longer you're there, the more symbiotic it becomes to you. Sort of like how clownfish hide in sea anenome its beneficial for both.

Also, i feel like growing up within these changing conditions of this ever moving place, they'd eventually get used to it in a way that other time travelers arent. Not that it's the best place to grow up. I always get the feeling VP has the opportunity to be an incredibly lonely and isolating place for some of the reasons above.

Anyways. Thats my incoherent thoughts abt dc meta for the night. Also bring back Rips sister

[mushroomgrenade]

Bro the more I have to interact with this fandom (bc of work) the more I have absolute distain over it. You got people leaking your conversation without consent (making me sign NDAs n shit bro, not joking)

You got fuck ass idiots not reading and just pushing their own agendas onto other things even when told not to. Fans not respecting creators/others at all. Non credited reposts (on everything), blatant disrespect, people not being able to take anything either-

Fuck I was just shown earlier today that

A. Someone had an attempt because of me asking them to take things down without consent.

B. Someone telling me how I'm working with another individual that doesn't align with their beliefs. (Like who cares. Move on PLEASE.)

Everyone has their own boundaries set but goes ahead to purposely defile and break others in the name of 'justice'. When in the end it's really just a way to bully and harass others when you are different and don't conform to such.

I don't want to put culture into this but it's honestly funny with how as a Taiwanese, when I moved here to the states to study, they preach freedom to everything. But in the end, the only freedom I see is the freedom to hate anyone that isn't what the privileged prefer. In a lot more ways than one.

I have minors DNI too for this specific reason, and I still got problems because people sometimes fuck up! That's fine! I'm just asking things to be solved, but I didn't ask to be involved in any opinions or feelings getting hurt. The facts are in front of you, we take it or not, we move on, done.

We're also acting like I've ever been hiding about anything, I'm openly blunt, queer, chronically burn out and depressed all the time, if you have a problem, you can talk to me directly. No need to go behind my back since I'll find out anyways.

Anyways, this sucks, it's impressive how a buncha bozos could make something I loved with all my heart and ruin in without even realizing it or giving a damn. I'm trying to provide and make this a fun space for people who like the show, who like the work, and who like what is being created, I really am. But it's hard when a big part of the majority act like this, it's like no one understands normal etiquette anymore.

Also just know that every time y'all call the aliens by the wrong name, the less hope and sanity I have over this shitty fandom. (Which is unfortunately majority).

[kikuism]

hello mariam!! 💕💖 it fills me with joy when you reblog things from me and i can see the little 'kou' or 'kaname' or 'kiku' tag. they are like old friends to me. how are they doing? and how is your writing going?? i know we both share much less of it (or none of it) on tumblr these days but i hope it's going well. give your ocs a little kiss for me mwah <3

jenna your messages always make me smile 💗💓💞 i always think it's funny how i've done a complete 180 with regards to my writing....i wouldn't shut up about it, and now it’s become absolutely private and personal to me, and the thought of sharing it now feels like it would take a huge leap of faith. but i'm still writing, writing a lot ... with the same old struggles. i wish i wasn't so hard on myself, but that just means i've grown in my skills. still, i wish i could just write freely and without abandon and not pick it apart afterward.

i rotate between kiku kou and kaname all the time!! i literally feel kiku and kou growing up with me, they've been with me for so long....lately i've put them in the taisho era bc it's a fascinating time period in regard to the fusion between eastern and western culture that was flourishing (and causing a lot of anxieties) in the country. i also really love the aesthetics/fashion of this period. kiku and naomi are aloof listless heirs in their huge sprawling estate etc. they just don't really know what to do with themselves. then one afternoon new household staff arrives in the form of a blind boy....

one thing i found really interesting during my research was this concept of 'feminized' masculinity in regards to the increased consumerism and consumption of western culture and aesthetics that was happening in this era; the adoption of western material culture was 'showy' and superficial and therefore it was feminized. contrasted with this more rugged notion of masculinity that rejected everything western and was upheld by conforming to traditional values like devotion to the nation. these two representations of masculinity constituted differing responses to the problem of modernity. the fear that the nation was becoming emasculated in the wake of foreign influence is one i hadn't heard of before...it all comes down to a fear of losing one's identity in the wake of change. can you still maintain a sense of self while evolving into something new? i thought to parallel this change happening on a smaller more personal scale to kou entering the confines of kiku’s home and the feelings he arouses in him. he's puzzled and intrigued and attracted all at once. although his family embraces modern sensibilities in terms of dress and art, it's really just for appearances sake, because at this time it was still mainly the wealthy who could afford these types of clothes and luxuries. on the inside they are quite a traditional family, so there's that tension as well. i also read a little about how servants were portrayed in the literature of this time period, and how in this shared space master and servant sometimes crossed boundaries especially in the way these modern homes were constructed.

oh and kaname!! so much has changed. the assassin plotline has kind of dropped completely......it's not at all what i'm focusing on right now. i've discovered a lot about her through backstory and it's basically all i write now. it's crazy....i felt blocked for so so long with her, but all i had to do was focus on another aspect of her and then the words started pouring out. in this wip i focus on the tensions between those who are living on the fringes of society and the 'normal' people inside, no matter how frugally they might be living. kaname belongs to the former. there was a class of people in the edo period called eta who engaged in professions related to death, blood and the handling of corpses and were therefore considered defiled and unclean by the rest of society and all their work was confined to the outskirts of the villages and neighborhoods. they weren't allowed in these places unless it was to beg and only then at certain times. they were severely ostracized and had to adhere to strict rules regarding almost every aspect from their life, from the way they dressed to who they married, and an eta was considered 1/6th of a regular person. it's .... really hard to do research on the eta bc there don't seem to be that many records from that time and often i need really specific information like what the inside of their huts looked like 😭 i need information on these eta villages and what they were like. kaname works in leather making, particularly skinning hides. she's living a rather numb, listless life and her only solace comes from sneaking off and standing on the great ryogoku bridge that connects her world to the lively world of the other side, where people wear different colored kimono and eat real food and seem to live actual lives. her only friend is a sickly girl named nana who lives deeper in the eta village but who spends her evenings with her after her work drinking tea and eating the slurry of grains that make up their supper.

nana seems content with life, but kaname is restless. she really wants to eat the food she sees being sold at stalls in the village on the other side of the bridge. i love kaname and nana, they're literally 🌑 and☀️.

nana loves taking care of her and kaname is like. ew. stop that. but she tries to do whatever she can to make nana happy bc her smile and laugh soothe her :') not that she examines these emotions too closely or anything. one night during the summer fireworks festival, one of the times when the eta are permitted to enter the inner village, they both go to sell handmade dolls and other paraphernalia in the hopes of getting some alms. but the night ends badly, and that's when kaname's story really starts....

so that's where i am with my writing! it's so hard but it's so fun. the light of my life. and omg i finally posted some kaname stuff 🫣

[butchladymaria]

1, 2 and 17 for the 🔥violence🔥 ask game?

also revisiting this SUPER late but -

OG POST HERE!!!

the character everyone gets wrong

would it be cliche of the guy who wrote a whole long thing about how the doll is misunderstood to say the doll is misunderstood? probably. i'm going to anyway though.

i feel like a lot of folks sometimes miss or overlook the horrifying implications of the doll? i wonder if a partial reason the horror innate to her character slips through the cracks is because she falls into the "level-up maiden" trope of the soulsborne series; which seems to be comprised of generally soft-spoken and/or somewhat submissive feminine women who help the player progress (even if they have goals of their own). i'm not here to argue that my interpretation of her is objectively correct here - but i do think the takes that posit her as a willingly subservient idealized fantasy of a woman are... shallow at best? it feels like some folks piece together that doll is made in the image of a dead woman by gerhman, and then... simply do not wrestle with the Implications of that.

for another example of this, just see adella. she seems to be reduced to "yandere psycho" at her most complex in a lot of fan interpretations, despite so much evidence indicating that it's much deeper than that.

all these examples make me wonder if the sentiment, subconscious or otherwise, that women are "meant" to be submissive and gentle is what leads these portrayals to go unquestioned or seen as more "normal" than if it were a man in that position. even maria, a canonically gender nonconforming character, has people bending over backwards to explain how she is actually totally a good little gender conformer because she... wears a hair ribbon…? (i wish i was exaggerating that claim but that has Been in my inbox lmao)

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

i've given this a lot of thought, anon, and come to the conclusion that the best (and maybe funniest...?) interpretation of this question is to answer it as follows:

miss doll would indeed never top OR bottom, mostly because i see her as asexual. i feel like the way she unless you want to consider the implications of gerhman pulling a victor frankenstein and giving his creation working sex organs. but i like to think we live in a nice world instead of a world where that is canon. eugh.

then again, i guess doll body probably isn't stopping ranni from bisexually topping the tarnished...? hmm.

in all seriousness i don't tend to have strong opinions on top/bottomhood for bloodborne characters, because i think they're mostly too catholic to fuck!

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

MORE BLOODBORNE YURI!!!!!!!!!!! vampires were literally and unironically MADE for lesbian barely-concealed-subtext babey!!!!

MORE BLOODBORNE TRANSGENDER!!!!!!!!!! i love trans people's takes on bloodborne! body horror is transition goals if you're not a coward!!!

i also just love cainhurst - artfight was a dream bc i saw SO many cute little knights :)

[t4tpumpkinduo]

hello gm i just thinking abt age things dsmp style and well....

i've seen multiple people draw up their cq as like. 8-10 yrs older than cclingy and uhm. huh? huh? he's like. their slightly older peer 😭 both point blank and narratively

we have canon conformation that ccling are minors on account of the eyes that we have and the ears that we use. but if you wanna be difficult abt it the exile contract plainly states that cdrm wants to keep tommy in there 'until he's 18.'

which. uhm. first of all, hope he boils alive in a giant pot. secondly, that makes ctommy at THE VERY LEAST 17 at that point, logically younger. he never ages out of the exile contract. both ctommy and ceret confirm it took place over Multiple Months, and he must've not been in the age range to have that happen, as neither the conditioning + torture AND the subjugation of nlm are ever talked abt with having a nearby end in sight. (cdrm melt alive in boiling acid challenge. btw. )

anyways cq is likely 18-19 at the start of the dsmp because he talks abt having JUST gotten out of juvie. like this JUST happened. you don't say you JUST got out of smthing if it was 8 or 6 or 3 or even 2 yrs ago 😭 cuz it. Just Happened. what age do you need to be to age out of juvie. are you saying ccling were 10 yrs old in the beginning streams. cmon man.

on the topic of character ages, imo cschlatt my sweet lil princess is likely 21-ish bcs smplive is explicitly canon. how can he be a geezer when he and wilbur are canonical situationship, when he and connor are treated like peers. cclingy see him in the same admire box they see cwilb in like 😭 how would tht be possible if he was 93. and the geezer jokes are just jokes IN CANON. you guys are just ableist w no media literacy.

if anything i think it makes more sense for ppl to have hced cwilb as older but god forbid our blorbo be anything but the youngest possible age so h(i am forcibly removed off stage). anyways that said i Do think it makes sense for him to be 24ish. the smplive-isms mean he's likely still 3ish yrs older than schlatt and the way he acts is super. postgrad daddy issues burnout guy who can't get his anti psychotics filled. the narratives you understand. it makes sense for him to be young.

he does however have a whole ass old ass son tho? 😭 and i DON'T WANT TO HEAR 'ohhh what if fundy ages different what if he-' FUNDY DOESN'T. he confirms he's 22 in later streams and he's on equal standing w niki at the start who's like 18. he doesn't show any kind of rapid onset age growth on screen at all despite multiple years passing so WHY would that suddenly stop being a factor as soon as the cameras turn away. be serious.

(my hc abt that is cfundy got whisked away/went missing to vault hunters as a v v young toddler, [he knows who iskall is and is actively friendly w him, he even invites him to the dsmp!], and came back way older cuz time there works differently and it REALLY wasn't that long for cwilb maybe a couple horrible grief stricken years. and the gap and strain isn't smthing they're able to work through v well because. how can you be normal. abt any of that. yr dad coddles and talks down to you because he still sees you as his little boy because How Can't He but also yr a grown ass man and yr own person with yr own thoughts and wants and opinions. and yr still so deeply desperate his attention and his approval. he didn't raise you. and he loves these other kids way more than he could ever love you. let's kill ourselves over this btw.)

anyways idont really have a point to this i just like yapping ^__^ 👍ppl can have their own interpretations it's whatever do whatever who cares i don't begrudge that but like. idk it's v interesting how narrative age Does play a factor into sm things and the few clues left around fr character's canonisms are very fun to discover.

[cruelsister-moved2]

God your post about how people treat masculine women in media and irl hit the nail exactly on the head. I also keep seeing these people rejoice when a masc woman is forced to present femininely bc it's now "genderfluid rep" or whatever which makes me feel kinda sick ngl bc it's so clear that they think being a butch dyke is a shallow uncomplicated gender experience but being forced to be feminine is more moral/attractive/complex. Haruka Sailormoon is like one of my favorite fictional characters ever but the amount of tepidly queer sm fans who openly hate butches while championing heterosexuality and gender conformity under a thin veneer of progressive language make me want to lose my mind

YES to everything!!! the weird delight when a masc woman does something feminine is actually so uncomfortable and it's like... they've literally BEEN being gnc every day of their life but it's not enough for you until its watered down to just like a generic androgyny its so weird anddd i think combined with the belief that butch women are doing that as some kind of statement and denying them the understanding thats afforded to other women that like they sometimes just do the stuff they do because they enjoy it and it feels natural. thats actually my favourite thing about haruka (and i liked it about utena too which actually comes out n SAYS it when wakaba is like "but this IS what's normal for you", and that still went massively over ppls heads) like she is so casually masculine and like she's just like that. not only is butchdykery so much more complex than whatever tepid futch androgyny people would prefer, even if it wasn't its like literally just how people are helloooo like butch lesbians arent there to be controversial and make a statement ... you should not be responding to the denigration of the gendered boundaries someone has set for themselves like ever in any context anywayyy. but let alone in the group whose boundaries people are probably the most determined to deny (not that people don't do this with all gender nonconformity but theres nothing like the desperation with which people want an unapologetically masculine women to make just one concession to femininity). the whole 'compensating for short hair with big earrings and winged eyeliner' girlboss in menswear industrial complex is why butchness is uniquely predicated on not JUST the embrace of masculinity but also the exclusion of coercive femininity completely at the same time like it's really hand in hand and its to do with a wider social labyrinth of coercion that every woman navigates so you can't just brush it off with choice feminism type platitudes because ummm we live in a society

[thegeminisage]

it's star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "profit and loss" and tng's "genesis."

profit and loss (ds9):

i was EATING! what an amazing episode. even though there was lots of quark and he's not normally my favorite

entire section with quark on his knees begging or whatever. that post thats like "gay people never flirt normally it's always shit like this"

my favorite part was that, in spite of all quark's begging and bribery, odo was like "yeah no i was gonna disobey orders anyway bc justice. this was fun though thanks" like my absolute KING and best friend odo startrek.

also, odo's complete and total disdain for the idea of romance........please. he's SOMEWHERE on the ace and/or aro spectrum. idk where but he is

AND GARAK! i'm sad he only had one conversation with bashir but i was so excited to see him and find out even a little bit more about him. i was like aw cm,on hes harmless hes just a little guy hes a gay little tailor and then they strongly implied he used to be an assassin and i had to pause the episode bc i got lightheaded

at first i didnt understand the end...like he informed on them and was gonna kill them to get back to cardassia and then just RANDOMLY changed his mind? but he told you what he was gonna do in his very first scene. it's loyalty to the state before loyalty to loved ones - or, yes, even the self. his 180 was a little abrupt, but i totally got it once i thought about it. the depth of the love he has for a place that ??? tossed him out ??? i guess? is pretty amazing

my only real complain about this episode was that they fumbled quark a little. that episode where he was in a quasi-romance with that cross-dressing ferengi actually gave us a good set-up - he does have a soul/conscience/whatever and IS capable of caring about other people, even more more than he cares about his assets (like the bar) - in both this episode and that one, he was perfectly willing to throw away the bar for a love interest. but in that other episode, he wasn't willing to live and be with that other ferengi unless she conformed to HIS idea of how women should be. in this one, he was briefly entertaining the idea of throwing away his entire life to go fight this lady's cause with her (which i don't think he could have followed through with), but absolutely nobody brought up "if you love her you have to give her agency and let her do what she wants ie leave" or at the VERY least "it's creepy/selfish to try and blackmail her into more or less marrying you." like, no, you don't need to spoonfeed the audience, WE know it's creepy, but her students going "yeah no let her stay!" was bonkers. and then when he did let her leave (and decided not to go with her even though he'd offered to do that earlier) it was just because he...had no choice?

idk, i feel like "quark sold food to starving bajorans even though it was illegal" does a LOT to humanize him, and in a GREAT way because plausibly he could go "yeah well the bajorans had money and i like money" to deny he has a conscience or whatever. AND IT WAS A THROWAWAY LINE. meanwhile he spent half this episode being creepy to this poor cardassian lady and it kind of undoes all that...? i'm not saying i DON'T want quark to be selfish and secretly a goody two-shoes, but i do want him to care about SOMETHING in a way that's like, if not totally unselfish, at least in a manner that has depth. "i like this lady so i want her to stay here forever and forget logic and also whatever she wants" is pretty much the least complex kind of romance you could give him. it works as a STARTING point, but if the endpoint is him just letting her leave because he quite literally has no choice, there wasn't much of a point to any of it plotwise, even if his non-sexist antics were extremely fun to watch in this episode

genesis (tng):

if spot transformed into an iguana right as she was finished giving birth to her kittens and they were a day old when data and picard found them, that means those newborn kittens did not eat for a full 24 hours and picard and data left them in data's quarters without feeding them or caring for them at all, which is perhaps the gravest sin either of them has ever committed

newborn kittens can only last a few hours without nursing - after half a day, they'd all be gone. and SOMEHOW they're still alive even though NO ONE HAS FED THEM and they don't even stop to feed them like we SAW them leave you can't even pretend they just did it offscreen between scenes. like are you kidding

ALSO, spot and all the other cats aboard this fucking spaceship should be fixed??? i hate to accuse my best friend data of being an irresponsible pet parent but there it is :/

i would never take my cats into space. they don't even like car rides. how can you drive this ship into a planet when there are children AND CATS aboard?? i hate tng so deeply

anyway, doing all of that to worf was racist and worf biting deanna in the bath was rapey. no wonder the actors hated worf e deanna almost every single one of their scenes together has been awful. -1000000/10 this might be my least favorite episode of tng i've ever watched

TONIGHT: ds9's "blood oath" and tng's "journey's end" and yes ik what that one is about and i am full of dread

[gerardpilled]

MCR hot take: People are too damn obsessive and presumptuous about Gerard's gender and sexuality, especially since he's publicly said he doesn't like labels or want them applied to him. I'm pretty sure that most of the serious speculation/theories people come out with are projection, and I'm not sure that some people get that an actual human being can't be put into whatever specific representation mold they want. Gerard doesn't exist for that purpose; he's not a blank slate to project onto (and get in fights over) just bc he's private about it. His own personal gender and sexuality, whatever they may be, are his business, and imo (speaking as a person who's more or less rejected gender for myself but doesn't like talking about it either) there's something kind of uncomfortable about the determination some folks have to specifically categorize him, especially when they're trying to justify it with some random out of context quote or the like. It's one thing when the person is being unserious, but there's definitely people who are very serious about it and I don't like that.

I agree with what you're saying, but I also think this approach to the topic has calmed down a considerable amount where complaining about it is almost beating a dead horse at this point in time. Though, I do think that the normalization of very invasive think-peice type posting about Gerard has kind of had lasting effects in terms of what people are comfortable explicitly implying about him. I definitely agree with what you're saying about viewing him as a blank slate. I can't say I am completely immune to this myself lol sometimes I really have to think to myself about why I care so much about ensuring Gerard fits exactly into the mold I have mentally created for him that also just so happens to be extremely relatable to myself.

I think a lot of initial conversation around their gender started because general ignorance, meaning lack of knowledge, of what Gerard has said in the past regarding being gender non conforming was mistaken as lack of acceptance? Also there was a period of time where you could not tag a photo of Gerard in a dress as "gerard way" without the risk of actual transphobes calling him a pedo in the replies. Which I do think affected the insistence in the trans label by fans to an understandable extent. I think the issue came in when there was more in-fighting where general concern over invasive posting was misinterpreted as transphobes being transphobic.

As for what you said about how it personally affected you - I kinda get it, I do, but I also feel like I saw a lot of people posting similar mindsets with the argument "stop calling Gerard a milf, I'm gnc and I hate that" which kinda assumes everyone of the same gender completely agrees on acceptable terms. It just never made sense to me, personally. Like, I personally relate to Gerard's approach at gender expression a lot but I am able to recognize we are different people. Gerard has referred to himself as "girl" multiple times before so I don't think using the gay she & her in the appropriate context is the end of the world.

Ultimately, yes I agree seeking out precise labels when none of this is our business is probably not the best thing to do.

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

noticing traits in somebody else that you also see in yourself and discussing those similarities as they relate to gender non-conformity or neurodivergence isn't something to be demonized.

there's been a few instances in my personal life that i've speculated about a friend potentially being in the closet because i saw myself in them! their behaviors reminded me of my own behaviors that cishet people probably wouldn't take note of, but i saw them because i saw me.

i don't think speculation and discussion are wrong in his situation. i didn't confront/harass my friends about my thoughts in the same way that the people on here who i've seen talking about dnp gender or neurodivergence wouldn't confront/harass them about it. (i also didn't discuss my speculations about my friends with anyone, but there's a difference to me between talking about a friend with other people who know them and having a conversation about a public figure.)

discussion about aspects of ourselves that we see in dnp isn't dangerous. no one is out here making accusations or demands; it's speculation in the most neutral sense ("to review something idly or casually and often inconclusively," webster's dictionary). people aren't speaking in serious definitives or being invasive in any of the discussion that i've seen. in actuality, the only negative thing i've seen surrounding the discussion is people being belittled or shamed for the grand crime of...recognizing similarities between their own experiences and what we've seen from someone else? i'm not sure when we all agreed that the only acceptable action is to assume someone is the 'normal' option unless they've stated otherwise.

i think you're right to prompt people to look inward about what exactly it is that might be making them uncomfortable about these conversations.

sending you love <3

100% what you said and actually, thank you for bringing up the difference in how we engage with public figures (who understand that their lives are being speculated about by a much larger number of people than your average Joe) vs how we engage with our peers (whose lives are intertwined with our own hence making any discussion or gossip about them immediately spread within our insular groups/communities and often being seen as having more truth than celebrity gossip bc it's a more grounded relationship with people we see regularly, rather than a parasocial one)

It's interesting, when I was studying Philosophy at college we had an entire section in a lesson just talking about the ethics of "Gossip" (esp wrt celebrity culture) and how it's inevitable and even human nature to speculate about and be interested in each other and with public figures it involves a lot more people so how do you navigate the ethics of that? And back then I thought "this is surely common sensical, surely we don't need to dedicate lesson time to discussing the ethics of talking about public figures vs random people in our lives" but I suppose this is exactly why people have needed to properly discuss and discourse these topics from an objective lens of what is ethical, because you need strong basic principles and understanding of ethics to build upon particular situations. And this is maybe what is lacking from a lot of discourse:

we are expecting our personal feelings and discomfort to do the work that academic inquiries (ie, rational systematic breakdown of any situation, not even in a classroom just in your mind) are supposed to do.

You won't reach the answer to "is this okay to do?" by thinking in terms of "how does it feel? Does it feel right or does it feel wrong?" because genuinely you gotta put in the work to ask "what is leading to this situation, whom if anyone does it harm, what steps do people already take to mitigate this, how can we create an environment that causes the least possible harm to all parties included, what does this particular thing mean for us socially and politically?"

It's okay if people don't have the time to engage in these introspections but the trouble is too many people thinking they should preach their opinions on these ethical matters without actually doing any ethical reasoning on their parts instead of moralistic ones.

Thanks for the love, anon! ❤️ This was a good one to receive and discuss

[katiesfriendzone]

tw: pedophilia; however please read b/c you all deserve my honesty.

I am extremely apprehensive about writing this and understand if you all can't be my friend anymore. I just cannot take the feeling of lying by omission to you all anymore.

I am friends with self-identified non-offending female pedophiles and it's because the big problem I allude to on my blog was thinking I am one.

In 2020, I was coming to terms with the fact that my beliefs were not very consistent, and the situation with Emmett made me realize I didn't really have business calling myself a feminist. this led to a period of intense questioning of many things I believed to be an established part of myself.

This period of questioning lead to an intense period of what would probably be labeled POCD. I still struggle to understand the difference between a closeted sexual orientation and an intrusive thought, as closeted gay people also experience their attraction as "unwanted thoughts"; thoughts being unwanted doesn't mean they don't reflect something real because they could be unwanted for so many reasons.

The idea that it was my sexual orientation made sense. After all, if being a lesbian or a gay man can also be characterized by aspects of personality not necessarily related to sex, like a gay man reminiscing of playing with girls instead of other boys at recess or a lesbian reminiscing on her days on the softball team, surely my form of gender nonconformity, which doesn't embody rugged masculinity or feminine polish but childish lack of both adult femininity and masculinity, could be part of my orientation. It would explain why I felt asexual towards men and towards women.

I like kids. That is obvious. I can't peek into anyone else's head who likes kids in a Normal way and see if their feelings for children are different from mine. I think children are, physically, cuter and nicer to look at than adults. I don't feel anything about their genitalia but as we know I actively dislike both vulvas and penises so that's kind of a moot point. I've never watched CP, but I've also never really watched adult porn. A mutual of mine who's since blocked me, maybe bc she was canny enough to clock this or maybe just bc im annoying, wrote a great post about queer refusal, and how queerness is often implicitly defined about being about being more and more open sexually, whereas for lesbians, often the most non-conforming thing about them is their LACK of attraction to/refusal of men. I think women who aren't attracted to men and lack the capacity to be attracted to men for whatever reason are queer, oppressed, etc. full stop.

I understand why, hearing this news, your concern and compassion would not be for me, but for children. I understand, with child sexual abuse being so rampant and CSA:pedophilia being synonymous in people's minds, that it could seem insane that someone who is hypothetically doing all this damage could be the one who is sad. I would like to make a big ask right now and ask you to consider queerness through the above lense and see why someone who is not attracted to men or to women might relate to or find solace in gay, lesbian, queer sentiments and struggles.

again, I can't peek into anyones head. I feel less repulsed by vulvae and penises than I did at the height of all this, and there are certainly adults who I like to look at (hi Dev Patel), and when I feel even the slightest glimmer of attraction to an adult, I indulge in it (hi, obsessive Dev Patel posting) to the most extreme degree I can. However, if you were to replace "man" with "adult" in the Lesbian Masterdoc, then well, you can see it from space.

The communities I've found have been very male centric. Even the resources that exist think of women like me as, and this is a direct quote from a clinics website, "irrelevantly rare". Women in these spaces are basically forced to rub elbows with misogynistic, antifeminist men because feminists have made it clear we aren't welcome.

I am a question mark. I'm always open to one day feeling the right way. But my best friend, who I met through one of these communities, has known this about herself since puberty. The idea that pedos just can't get someone their own age is especially painful for her experience, because like all women, she deals with sexual harassment and unwanted attention from men. She's my friend and I refuse to abandon her, even if it turns out I'm not the same as her. I would actually rather die than betray my friends when they are suffering.

Since this all began, I have seen countless testimonies from female exclusive pedophiles (meaning ones like my friend who feel nothing for adults and in my opinion fit the model of queer refusal of men I discuss above) and I would characterize them with despair, desperation, depression, alienation, rage, and a belief in ones inherent inferiority. I simply refuse to cosign these beliefs in other women based on thoughts and feelings they cannot help.

I'm not sure where this leaves me and you guys. I accept whatever happens to me as a result of posting this. I will add the following disclaimers: in addition to all of this I do also have maternal/auntlike instincts, and my feelings about my own niece or the kids of friends on here are purely aunt feelings. When I first confessed all of this to Ted his response was initialy that my feelings for children were normal, and that i just lacked attraction to adults, but the thing is most people seem to think that asexuality isn't a real orientation, so I'm not sure what that would make my orientation. But again: i simply refuse to betray my best friend.

I wonder what the price of honesty will be...but in my opinion, the truth is priceless. I do not know what you are all going to do to me after this post, but whatever you do is up to you. It's 100% your choice. I'm sorry for lying to you all by omission the past few years, and you don't have to accept my apology. I don't know what I'd do in your position. But I don't really know what I'd do in my position either, I guess this.

[dumbdomb]

hiii <3

i've very much enjoyed how you've bullied me, and that made me wonder: what has been your favourite experience with humiliation/degradation play? what did you do, who was being degraded, and how did it feel?

i don't have very much experience bc it takes a while for me to feel safe and bonded with someone to share that type of intimacy (nonsexual). this is a general thing about me. thinking about my earlier experiences, which are so special and close to my heart...

there have been two similar situations where i really felt that jolt of power and dominance, each with friends i felt comfortable with. the first was more innocent. i was helping to massage my friend's back, and i've simply never been one to have any upper body strength XD. they wanted a deep massage, and i, very cautiously, asked if i could try other ways rather than just using my hands. i tried my elbows, quickly moving on to knees, and that got better results. but i still wasn't strong enough. it all seemed very funny to me, trying so laboriously to rub my friend's back with appropriate force necessary to help them feel better... basically, i ended up standing directly on them, and they loved it! i had such an unusual, curious, inkling of a spark in that moment... i've never talked about this with them, but it changed me. haha!

the other time was with another friend, and we were in his room. i don't remember how it began, helping him move furniture or something like that. i had demonstrated that infamous leg strength and stood up feeling accomplished (ok, big strong transmasc boi stronger than friend feeling actually). he jokingly admired my thighs before carefully caressing them, i think he would've kissed my thigh if i let him. but i wasn't ready for changing what we had. he was the only friend i had, then, who also didn't have siblings or a father growing up. i felt like my body didn't have to be stereotypically soft and feminine to be attractive (something i knew, but an entirely different feeling from someone else).

each experience came with a sense of control, responsibility, and empowerment. it gave me a sense of myself, of who i could be when i wasn't trying to conform and "be normal" and likeable.