#morganondisplay

[dumbdomb]

hiii <3

i've very much enjoyed how you've bullied me, and that made me wonder: what has been your favourite experience with humiliation/degradation play? what did you do, who was being degraded, and how did it feel?

i don't have very much experience bc it takes a while for me to feel safe and bonded with someone to share that type of intimacy (nonsexual). this is a general thing about me. thinking about my earlier experiences, which are so special and close to my heart...

there have been two similar situations where i really felt that jolt of power and dominance, each with friends i felt comfortable with. the first was more innocent. i was helping to massage my friend's back, and i've simply never been one to have any upper body strength XD. they wanted a deep massage, and i, very cautiously, asked if i could try other ways rather than just using my hands. i tried my elbows, quickly moving on to knees, and that got better results. but i still wasn't strong enough. it all seemed very funny to me, trying so laboriously to rub my friend's back with appropriate force necessary to help them feel better... basically, i ended up standing directly on them, and they loved it! i had such an unusual, curious, inkling of a spark in that moment... i've never talked about this with them, but it changed me. haha!

the other time was with another friend, and we were in his room. i don't remember how it began, helping him move furniture or something like that. i had demonstrated that infamous leg strength and stood up feeling accomplished (ok, big strong transmasc boi stronger than friend feeling actually). he jokingly admired my thighs before carefully caressing them, i think he would've kissed my thigh if i let him. but i wasn't ready for changing what we had. he was the only friend i had, then, who also didn't have siblings or a father growing up. i felt like my body didn't have to be stereotypically soft and feminine to be attractive (something i knew, but an entirely different feeling from someone else).

each experience came with a sense of control, responsibility, and empowerment. it gave me a sense of myself, of who i could be when i wasn't trying to conform and "be normal" and likeable.