#bc there's also the big bang and personal projects

[blackhairedjjun]

staying afloat - k.th

pairing: kang taehyun x gn reader | genre / tropes: angst, argument -> makeup, implied friends to lovers, office worker!taehyun, the subtlest of love confessions | word count: 899 | warnings: burnout and exhaustion from overwork

part of my 300 followers event (event masterlist)

prompt - HEAT: while engaged in a passionate argument with one another, sender, in the heat of the moment, blurts out “i love you!” to the receiver. think of like, that glorious trope where people have a huge argument and then suddenly sb drops the mic with “because i’m in love with you!” and silences the other person. u know the trope! (requested by anon)

author's notes: HI ANON im sorry this took sooooo long. as i said, this was hard for me to write bc i already did the heat prompt twice before and i didn't want to be too repetitive with the arguments... the argument here is a bit calmer and more one-sided on yn's part but i hope it still works!

“you are running yourself into the ground, taehyun!” you grab his shoulders and give him a little shake. taehyun watches you closely, and you can see the darkening circles under his eyes. 

he’s still standing before the threshold of your home, right in front of the door. with just one step he could walk in if you weren’t blocking his way. outside, the night air is so cold that you shivered instantly upon opening the door for him. the sky is dark, with neither moon nor stars, and the only light comes from the fluorescent bulb at the doorway.

“y/n, you’re up working too,” he says. his voice is steady but firm. “you can’t tell me what not to do when you’re also working like this.”

“i’m doing overtime for just one night, for god’s sake. but you 一 you’ve been so busy and tired for what, two weeks? you forget to answer my texts. forget!” you throw your hands up. “and you’ve never forgotten before, not in all the years that i’ve known you.”

taehyun stuffs his hands into his pockets and his gaze flickers away from yours for a second before it returns. though he tries to stand his ground, you notice the soft look in his eyes, laying bare the tiredness and worries weighing down on him.

“well, i’m here now. why won’t you let me make it up to you?”

“because it’s one in the morning and you’ve been staying up late for overtime and extra projects for what, two weeks now? you go home late and you wake up early, your boss dumps all this work on you, and you barely get any time off!” you take a step closer, now fully exiting the warmth of your home, to stand so close to him. “please, taehyun. it’s not that i don’t want to see you, but you’re so, so tired. i can see it in your face.”

you reach out to touch his face, but his expression goes taut and your hand hovers just inches away. he turns away from you before you can scan his eyes for the tired look you saw; a cold breeze blows by, causing both of you to shiver and pushing the bangs away from taehyun’s forehead.

he looks... sadder than what you remember. you remember how easily his face would light up before he took on his new position at his job; he would smile at the smallest of your remarks, his big eyes sparkling like jewels. you thought of the steady stream of texts from him day after day, reminding you to eat or commenting on a silly photo you took, and how that stream soon turned into a trickle. the memories make your body feel heavy.

taehyun says nothing for a few moments and just lets out a sigh. when he looks back at you there’s a pained look that wasn’t there before, and you feel an ache in your chest at the sight.

 “y/n, i... i don’t want you to worry about me like this. i can’t... i can take care of myself. please, please just trust me. i hate watching you worry like this.”

“oh, you hate watching me worry?” your tone rises before you even realize it. “and i hate watching you turn into this! you’re exhausted, taehyun. you’re not yourself anymore. i can’t even remember the last time i saw you smile! do you know how much it hurts to see the person you love lose himself like this?”

you tremble in your spot and your words start to trip over themselves. your emotions pile onto each other, keeping you from speaking straight: some anger, yes, but mostly disappointment, worry, loneliness, fear. “i ha一 i hate seeing you like this, taehyunie. i can’t一 i can’t watch一 i love you too much to see this一”

taehyun cuts you off to pull you into a hug. he holds onto you so tightly, as if trying to wrestle you away from the emotions gripping you. one of his hands makes his way through your hair. angry tears prick at your eyes but you relax in his hold, finally letting out a sob.

“i’m sorry,” he says, his hand combing through your hair then rubbing your back. “i know you’re just looking out for me... and you’re right. i am exhausted...”

something shifts and now you feel his full weight on you. now you’re the one holding him, his head moving to rest in the crook of your neck, his shoulders fully slumped. the weeks of exhaustion have finally caught up to him, and you wrap your arms around his waist to prop him up.

“i’m sorry, y/n,” he repeats. “for not... listening to you... for forgetting...”

your hold on him tightens and tears stream down your face, but you manage to speak. “i just don’t want you to hurt yourself...”

neither of you say anything more. taehyun doesn’t let go of you and sinks fully into your touch; despite the chill night air, he’s still warm in your arms. you let your tears fall freely as you keep a firm hold on the friend you love, as if letting go of him means he will sink and drown.

the night is so quiet that the murmur he lets out against your neck still comes out loud and clear.

“i love you too.”

[cry-ptidd]

Are there any things you don't like about Laura?

NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT. (Ranting below)

1) Her bangs are messy and hide her nose bump, which pisses me off when I try to draw her. I always have to find a way to make it show because her nose is pretty and one of her key facial features. Also curly hair is a pain to draw/line.

You can also add the fact that she has both thick body hair and body freckles, which looks a bit cluttered.

2) The situation with her skin tone is a bit... problematic. She has a bit of a tan, which was an aesthetic choice more than anything; and while I do think it makes her pretty and adds a characteristic, it's also reminiscent of (and most likely subconsciously influenced by) the trope that werewolves (aka big strong wild creatures) have darker skin and are more rugged than pale, refined vampires. That trope in itself is problematic, and is recurring especially in 2D media which might have influenced my hand as well. Then I did the thing where I was afraid I'd make her too pale and made her complexion a bit darker to remedy to that.

There's also the factor of her social class, with beauty standards in 1700s France being that being pale as a plate was preferred bc if you're tan it means you're poor and work in the sun which is yucky ew. Obviously the intention wasn't that her warm skin be a sign of ugliness, but it does add a small historical detail to her design.

3) She could at first glance embody the "predatory man-hating lesbian" trope. She explicitly hates men, fucks women and is hypersexual. Ultimately I don't see her that way, but she could be interpreted as that.

I knew she was supposed to like women from the start, more because I rarely ever make straight characters, and her fucked up backstory (and thus her misanthropy and misandry) came a tad bit later while I was honing her character past her design and basic tropes. She was also way less mean in the beginning and much more respectful, just a bit overworked.

Her being emotionally predatory and a misandrist is solely a result of her trauma, not her sexuality. In that same vein, her trauma isn't what made her a lesbian.

Also, she's a misanthrope first, misandrist second. She doesn't just jump at any woman she sees or even see a woman and think of sex first; she sees a human first and their gender second; she considers men more dangerous because of her own experiences, and women as more capable of providing something more comfortable for her (but ultimately both are a food source for her bc she's a lycanthrope). Even her first reasons for joining Integra (before I added the threat aspect from Alucard) was that she was impressed not by her looks but by her charisma and personality, which made her want to join. Integra's gender was only a factor in the way that it reassured Laura a man wouldn't have power over her. Her resulting infatuation is from being treated as an actual living creature and being given protection and a home.

If there are any other issues with her, please tell me. OCs are never really finished projects anyway.

[mysteriawrites]

[ hsr matchup exchange w/ @frostfall-matches ]

[ afab, any pronouns ok | preference for a male match pls! ]

- personality: distant, introverted but not shy, generally respectful of others but not necessarily kind, somewhat apathetic (but a majority of the time mood baseline is content/relaxed), logical, calm under pressure, extremely independent, confident and self-secure (sometimes arrogant! i try to keep my god complex in check lol), can take criticism well, straightforward (blunt, sometimes tactless/insensitive both on purpose and on accident), pretty sassy/snarky, tends to laugh off the severity of a situation, not very ambitious, mildly competitive, a moderate risk-taker (gets a thrill from risky situations, but tries to avoid lethal ones).

broad sense of humor (often more on the playful/absurd side), really likes laughing but only opens up around friends, playful w/ friends, very teasing, mischievous, realist that leans optimistic, nosy and loves gossip/drama, a natural troublemaker/rulebreaker but also often unintentionally gets into trouble (wrong place/time), comfortable with confrontation, a bit combative with authority and those who irritate me but is generally easygoing, quick-witted, unsentimental, surprisingly low impulse control.

- personality types: INTJ ; 7w8 ; chaotic neutral.

- love languages: physical touch and gifts. touch reserved for close friends/partners only, but i can get pretty cuddly with them and will just drape myself over my partner if they let me. willing to make the first move/initiate affection in general.

- hobbies: video games (tactics, RPGs, visual novels), anime, drawing (paper and digital), painting (mostly watercolor), baking, cosplay, writing, reading (fantasy, suspense/thriller, psychological), caring for houseplants, home/decor DIY projects, hiking, jogging, thrill-seeking activities (adrenaline junkie).

- likes: cats, frogs, snakes, sweets, most fruits, cheese, lattes (a favorite of mine is chai), scented candles, piercings, tattoos, puns and lame dad jokes, cool weather, forests, traveling, new experiences, learning languages (currently knows/studied: english, french, korean, latin), medieval history, the occasional lazy day, bantering with others, encouraging my friends' bad/risky decisions (i will even do it with them), lovingly teasing/bullying friends, when people cook for me.

- dislikes: dogs, horses, bitter foods, grapefruit, potatoes, alcohol, strong scents, hot weather, spiders (other bugs are ok), long car rides, feeling restricted, conformity and blind obedience, having to be responsible for others or lead them, being vulnerable, when others are condescending towards me (makes my pride flare up), people-pleasing behavior, when others step in to help without me asking.

- misc.: quite clumsy, accident prone ; terrible sense of direction ; easily motion sick (very sad bc i love park rides but i can only handle 1-2 at a time) ; enjoys skin/hair care, loves changing up hair often ; used to do gymnastics ; a weird mix between a night owl and a morning person (but afternoons are rough) ; my hands and feet are always ice cold so i like subjecting my friends to them (sticking my hands under their shirt, holding their hands, or tucking my feet beneath their legs if we're sitting on a couch together) ; majors in international studies and french in uni w/ minors in psychology and medieval history ; currently working as a medical scribe ; studied abroad in korea for 5 months, LOVED it and honestly never got homesick ; prone to bad luck but tries to find the humor in most situations.

- appearance/style: 155 cm / 5’1” ; hourglass to pear shaped ; very pale (burns easily) ; baby-faced, button nose, single dimple on right cheek when smiling ; big green eyes, long eyelashes ; hair is naturally wavy and light ash brown almost always styled with bangs, currently has an undercut ; 5 piercings in one ear, 4 + an industrial in the other, and a navel piercing ; clothing style is more on the masculine side, color scheme is black/gray/muted green ; loves fishnets, flannels, graphic tees, leather jackets, combat boots ; socks are either black or very colorful/patterned ; enjoys sweatpants and hoodies when lounging at home.

Hello thx for exchanging with me! Hope you enjoy your story.

Your Honkai Star Rail Life:

Your Path…The Hunt

You have the passion and confidence typically found in followers the hunt. You know what you want and you go for it and don’t let anyone stand in your way. Another path that you may tread is the erudition which is fond of those who are calm and logical.

Your Element…Fire

Your mischievous, rebellious, and competitive personality makes the fire element feel like second nature. You coat your weapon in flames and overwhelm your enemies with your blazing power. Remember to use it wisely or you might get burned…

Your Weapon…Chain Whip Sword

No particular reason for this other than you just look badass wielding a flaming chain whip sword. Despite being a short range weapon no enemy will escape your reach when you catch them off guard when the sword elongates into flaming whip.

Your Faction…The Stelleron Hunters

Welcome to your misunderstood tight nit group of misfits. The universe may view you as enemies, but as long as you all have each other who cares what they think. You originally joined due to aligned goals, but overtime you all have become a little family. Kafka like a cool aunt to you with blade, silver wolf, and firefly(sam) as your older and young siblings. And then there was Elio. The man who took you in when you had nowhere else to go…he was like your father. You wouldn’t trade your found family for anything and would go to any lengths to protect them at all costs. Even if it ment challenging the script yourself despite knowing it’s impossible…

Your Story…

Smoke and ash is all you remember of that fateful day. One minute you were out having dinner with your family to celebrate coming of age and the next there’s ringing in your ears and metallic taste in your mouth. Vision blurry, but you can still make out the sight of your loved ones dead around you. Screams and cries of terror and despair echo all around you as other survivors realize similar fates. It took days maybe weeks for you to get rescued. You couldn’t tell how long it had been, but you knew for certain that it had been too long. Those who didn’t die from the initial explosion would later succumb to their injuries and perish. Authorities eventually came but the damage had been done. Homes lost, families and friends gone, a planet destroyed. All thanks to a shiny ball of light called…a stelleron. How could something that looked so ethereal be the cause of so much pain and suffering. You didn’t know, but you knew one thing for certain: it couldn’t happen to anyone else ever again. You swore you wouldn’t let it happen ever again. You would destroy every cancerous seed of disaster there was. And that was when you were approached by a strange man who claimed to be able to see the future…

Your Match:

Aventurine!!!

How you met:

You guys would have the sexiest forbidden love enemies to lovers trope romance oh my god.

You were on another mission for Elio, chasing after another stelleron. You were trying to stealth your way towards it having gotten past all the security, only for a blonde man with the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen to be standing there waiting for you.

"Well, well, well little hunter. I've been expecting you"

Aventurine had gotten intel that there was going to be an attempted break in at the capital, and he had bet his life that it would be a hit on the stelleron. However, he hadn't expected it to be an actual stelleron hunter.

He didn't think they would try something so risky. They were usually so calm, calculated, and elusive.

He tried to strike a deal with you but you weren’t one for collaborating with the enemy so you guys ended up fighting.

There was no clear winner as both sides took considerable damage, but you both decided to make a strategic retreat and the stelleron was left where it was only for the astral express to come and seal it later.

Several more incidents like this occurred where you would be sent on mission only for IPC to stick their nose in your building and you would encounter aventurine again and again and again.

You were now proper rivals, but while you were getting progressively more frustrated with your missions get repeatedly disrupted Aventurine seemed to be having fun.

The audacity of this man to flirt with you during a fight with those golden locks and mesmerizing multicolored eyes. You may have started to have a bit of a crush on him too but you’d rather die then admit it

On one mission you and Aventurine end up trapped together in a cave with no way out but to wait and hope for rescue (and hopefully not get arrested in the process)

During that time you guys get to know each other better and you come realize he actually isn’t that bad. In fact you actually start to feel sorry for him.

You couldn’t stand the way how he viewed himself as just someone else’s pawn, how he just used his life as another bargaining chip. Couldn’t he see that he was so much more than that.

After expressing with vigor how his value was more than just another tool to be used, one thing led to another and…well lets just say it’s a good thing that cave allowed yall to have some privacy ;)

From then on whenever you guys would cross paths, although to the public still saw you two as mortal enemies, you guys would turn each encounter into a romantic date.

You were deeply in love.

Although you had to continue to hide this fact from your respective factions. (Although let’s be real topaz, jade, dr ratio, and your fellow stellorn hunters figured it out forever ago because they are way too perceptive, smart, and nosy. But they wont tell anyone)

Maybe one day you two will have the freedom to pursue your love.

Your relationship:

It’s no surprise Aventurine would use his luck to spoil you. He’s mainly used his luck for survival this whole time so now he wants to use it for someone he loves.

He constantly buys you new jewelry for your piercings, some nice scented candles, your favorite foods, snacks and sweets.

Especially cause he doesn’t quite know how to cook. He’s always just eaten whatever to survive. But if you’re willing to learn with him he’d love to make so many home made dishes for you.

If you so much as look at something while you two are together boom it’s now yours.

He will also do luxury baths treatments and self care routines with you. He knows he has a pretty face and will damn well take care of it.

He would love to take you traveling all across the galaxy and show you places you’ve only read about while being your personal tour guide to places he’s been before.

You get the V.I.P treatment wherever you go even if you insist he not spend so much on you. In his eyes who/what better to spend his money on than you.

He can also be a busy man so whenever he’s not busy he will take every opportunity to spend a lazy day with you.

You have to teach him how to be cuddly though. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, he just hasn’t experienced that since he lost his only family. You have to remind him what that kind of affection feels like.

Since you both love to work out your brains with psychology and strategy, you guys are always having deep intellectual conversations.

You guys are also able to riff and bounce off of each other well with amazing banter and roasts but you know you still love each other at the end of the day.

Although you consider yourself bad luck Aventurine thinks the opposite and considers you his most precious lucky charm.

You are the one thing in his life he wouldn’t bet on for anything.

He could never risk losing you.

[writer-in-theory]

For the Ask Game:

Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

OOOOH GOOD QUESTIONS!!

Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why? This is so hard bc according to ao3 i have written 109 fics and that's tough picking a fav. i'm gonna cop out a lil and pick a couple.

my fav from criminal minds has to be "tell ourselves a good lie" because it was so highly personal to me, and i just feel like my writing style really shined in that one. it was one that was emotionally difficult to work on but i think really turned out well. not to mention that one of the quotes i wrote in it is the basis for a tattoo i'm getting this summer!!

my other fav is one i did for a steddie big bang in 2023. "smooth talkin', so rockin'" was a hannah montana au that started a lil silly but hit some fun plot points. it really pushed me in terms of writing both in length, timeline, and developing this plot. i feel like i really grew as a writer after finishing this project and i can see a difference in my style in later fics. PLUS i got to work with an amazing artist who actually created a physical book for it which gets me in my feels for sure

What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it? SOULMATES AU. ALSO ENEMIES TO LOVERS. i've written a soulmates au for almost every single fandom i write for (except, oddly, cm) because i can't get enough of it. also enemies to lovers is such a fun trope that i read all the time but don't know that i necessarily write a lot of...we should fix that tbh.

Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing? now this is a really good question. i'm not sure who i could compare my writing style too bc i can't be super objective about it, but i will say that i read a TON of jane austen growing up and she was really my first author love. in terms of fanfic writers, i HAVE to shoutout @serenity-lattes bc they beta read basically all of my fics and give me sneak peeks on their fics, so we definitely swap ideas a lot!! in terms of inspiration, there's this fic that @heck-in-a-handbasket wrote a few years ago that was a pretty woman au that was SO PHENOMENAL that it really showed me what fics can be, and that AUs can still be really original in their own right. i'm also gonna shout out @imagining-in-the-margins because while i think our writing styles are different, pom has always been such a motivator. like, the most supportive person you could have the pleasure of meeting. all of her kindness and advice has been completely invaluable through the couple of years i've been around here and i'm lucky to be a friend!

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

WIP Wthursday

meant to post yesterday and then forgot bc of who i am as a person so, whoops. anyway, current state of affairs

embroidery:

absolutely 0 progress on the Hermit since i last posted it in like mid september. whoops. i WILL finish this thing by veilguard i swear but for some reason it's just grueling every step of the way. meanwhile, i'm banging out this mini version of The Tower in like 4 days. I want to post the pattern/thread colors I made for my big design, but i feel guilty selling a pattern for a piece where i hand-dyed at least 5 of the colors involved. So I'm making a second version with only commercially available colors as an alternative (and a slightly less saturated background), and I'll include both color guides as options.

haven't made any new digital designs/patterns since the last one of the qunari dialogue symbol. considering making a new one for another piece of art to copy out, but currently unclear on how to get the proportions for the frame accurately copied into photoshop because I want to try an oval frame instead of circular so... yeah. we'll see.

writing:

went digging through my old WIPs folder and found a k!meme prompt fic for Lavellan getting hit by a truth spell that I'd basically almost finished and then just... completely forgot about I guess? it's a silly premise and under 15k so it must have just poofed from my brain when I moved and lost track of all my then-projects.

           Just the memory sends a flush down the back of her neck, her heartbeat skipping inside her chest like a stone over water. She can almost feel it, even here, her legs aching after a days of travel. The warmth of his body against hers in the cold air of the mountains. The unexpected passion of their kiss, the pressure of his lips crushing against her own, driving all other thoughts from her mind.             The way just beforehand he’d still hesitated, almost tearing himself away.             That’s the real problem, she thinks to herself, as she tries to ignore the wet slapping noise the drenched fabric of her robes makes with every step. She just can’t reconcile the intensity of his words with the way he keeps drawing himself back again. Every time she considers making another move, she can’t help but think that maybe it will be what convinces him she’s not worth the trouble after all.             Ar lath ma, he’d told her, despite it all.             She has no idea how to respond to something like that.

the first two and final chapters are entirely finished, while 3/4 are more disjointed segments that need some fleshing out. but i'll probably just go ahead and post the first bit soon because why not. maybe that'll push me to clean it up faster. i'll also be honest. half of this fic is like... the prompt premise, and the other half is just. me wishing i was out backpacking. i wrote it the summer of lockdowns when i went from working outside 5 days a week to bedroom WFH prison, and its funny rereading now like. oh yeah so i was going fully insane about not being the one camping myself, huh.

Anyway. otherwise I also started another new short thing for my still currently nameless No-Longer-Lavellan from reunion, but it's only a couple hundred words and some vague notes so far. Not sure if I'll turn it into something more polished or leave it as general musings. I wish I could draw better because I have way more concrete visions for visual art for that whole scenario but, alas.

[miss-constelia]

I can’t decide which I like the idea of more…

1: Max spread the rumors of how big of a whore he is himself but in actuality he’s never even kissed anyone in his life.

(bonus points if he gets all blushy and awkward when faced with the prospect of actually doing anything sexual)

Or

2: Max absolutely fucked every single person he could, I’m talking everyone who wanted to has.Him just being the town bicycle. (Everyone’s had a ride)

-Also to me that bitch it the subiest of subs when he’s with women. He’ll act like a top in public but the second him and grace are alone that boy becomes her whinny little bitch. On the other hand with men, he’d rather die then bottom. Something something its gay to let a dude fuck you. Something something internalized homophobia.-

-⚪️⚪️👌

Personally, you have mixed my FAV two headcanons of max together. I love to imagine him as someone who other than is such a fucking virgin lmao. I like to think that the rumors he bangs works BC he in parties a lot and a lot of people get drunk and don't remember shit and max is like: hell yea we banged babe it was amazing.

And projects himself a lot on the nerds to maintain his fuckboy image. I think that's why he also goes publicly after grace because he is sure that, thanks to her religion, she's gonna reject him so he doesn't has to worry about it.

AND-regarding him being a sub with women. YES. I LIKE TO THINK GRACE PEGS HIM and treats him like her dog. Max is mortifying in the inside about if how he acts around her becomes public knowledge but also enjoys himself too much being a submissive bitch to her

[rui-drawsbox]

hey dude

how did you develop your art style? ive been drawing for years and I cant seem to get a handle on ANYTHING

4 almost 5 days late sorry dude you shot right into my inability to put thoughts into words properly HAHA

alright so first of all, i don't even think a style is something you need to do art. I'm a hobbyist apologist and as long those people enjoy creating it doesn't even have to look "good".

That aside i'm assuming you want to take art at least a little seriously so i'm just going to be straight forward and say that the only way is ping-pong between styles/techniques/themes and just stick with the stuff you feel more comfortable doing.

Now going into my personal experience, that's what you asked after all lolol (from now on this is just yapping so feel free to ignore it)

alr soooo im skipping my first steps into art and going into the humanoid phase. I actually started with sonic! Specifically the show Sonic X, of course i picked up mannerisms from the anime when it was time of doing comedic doodles (and cuestionable taste on fashion)

(im going thru my big inspirations so bear with me here)

2015 came and i discovered my two main inspirations for a long time: fnaf and Ed00chan! (link to her abandoned deviantart so yall can see the style of the time). As i was completely enamored by her anime-yet-cartoony style i was also hyperfixated with fnaf and those two things combined perfectly into (the infamous in the spanish side of the fnaf fandom) fnafhs! bing bang boom there it goes my personality for the next 5 years!

sprinkle a few power puff girls z too why not

anyway at that time i wanted to become a pro like ed00 so i had to understand anatomy, and my go-to channel was Bgm94! But the elders said that to broke the rules you have to understand them, so i just kind-of started doing more "realistic" bodies while maintaining the cartoony-ness i liked so much. Which to be fair, didn't last long before i got bored and jumped straight into cartoon/chibi again

also since we're entering my digital era i'm including some drawings with wild style changes since the experimentation never ends owo9

anyway that was 2018 and before! it was around 2017-18 that i dropped the general tutorials and just started experimenting on my own style/anatomy and trying to improve my skills (im ignoring my sketchbooks bc from now on they just become- well, sketchbooks, instead of doing full drawings i just doodled in classes and leaved the detail for digital stuff)

i would love to include all my 2019 folder bc i consider it was a year full of love for my silly doodles but tumblr has a limit for images HAHA. Hopefully you can see how i go trying out stuff and pick little stuff from every stage with me lolol

2020 hits and you can *see* my hyperfixation with twisted wonderland here, at least my folder is 60% twst drawings i made for my fanfic at the time LOL. Not so many style jumps here tho so let's keep going

2021 and 2022 here! at the second half of 2022 i found my oh so beloved crunchy brush and i also fell hard for Arashi Narukami, so basically my tumblr became an arashi fanpage lol

stuff at 2023 keeps pretty the same until now tbh, the only highlight would be the re-inclusion of noses bc of spiderverse 2. My style also has been pretty well maintained since i started doing commissions so i don't really do so much experimentation anymore, at least not with proportions and such.

alr so that was my journey on artstyle! Of course it's not like you're gonna guess all my process just by looking at the images so i'll say what type of stuff i feel influenced my decisions.

i'm very lazy and for a log time i just abandoned my projects if it prolonged more than a day or two, that obviously made me lean into the cel/plain shading rather than spending hours and maybe days rendering (not that i don't try rendering every now and then but i don't enjoy spending so much time in a single piece)

everyone around me always has been extremely supportive so i had the privilege of dedicating all my soul to drawing silly characters haha, i feel like since i never felt the need of comparing myself to others i could actually experiment so unapologetically with my style until i was satisfied

finding an actual brush that i like is always crucial to me tbh, even in traditional i'm pretty picky with how the ink and type of pen i'm using. Of course, i also tried multiple traditional art techniques (watercolor, acrylics, crayons, pencils, pastels, my favorite are pen+markers)

i dont like feets. that shows until today.

in general i think an artstyle is something extremely personal that every person has to shape themselves and that it can't really be a permanent thing, it's gonna fluctuate with the artist whenever they like it or not.

[the-soul-of-a-morningstar]

hello! i'm here to request a matchup ✨if you'd like, i can write one for you in exchange at my sideblog -> @frostfall-matches

[name: raven / age: early 20s / sexuality: possibly aro/ace but i'm also not against the idea of being in a relationship w someone (gender/sex is irrelevant) / gender: nonbinary or agender (any pronouns ok)]

- personality: rough around the edges but overall fairly amiable, introverted but not shy (distant, disinterested in getting close to most, takes a long time to open up), willing to trust others and give people the benefit of the doubt, extremely independent (often refuses to rely on others, hates when people step in to help without me asking), confident and self-secure (sometimes prideful to the point of arrogance), straightforward (blunt, sometimes tactless/insensitive but i try not to be), even-tempered (not prone to anger, but annoyance is relatively common; anger is cold when it happens), somewhat apathetic (flat affect, rarely has strong emotional reactions, but a majority of the time mood baseline is pleasant), very rarely cries, tends to brush off the severity of a situation, not very ambitious (but if i have a goal i WILL get it done), mildly competitive, good sense of humor, playful around friends, teasing, mischievous, realist that leans optimistic, curious (nosey, loves gossip/drama), a troublemaker/rulebreaker, also often unintentionally gets into trouble (then laughs it off), does not shy away from conflict (a bit combative with authority and people who irritate me), logical, intelligent (but not necessarily the "bookish/academic" type who could spend hours researching), not sentimental, does not hold onto regrets, good at self-reflection.

- love languages: physical touch, gifts.

- hobbies: video games (tactics, RPGs, anything w/ good world-building & characters), watching anime, drawing (digital), painting (watercolor & acrylic), baking (but not cooking), cosplay, writing, reading (fantasy, occasionally books on history), taking care of plants, home/decor DIY projects, thrill-seeking activities (a bit of an adrenaline junkie).

- likes: cats, sweets, most fruits, good food, cheese, lattes (either coffee or tea, a favorite of mine is chai), aromatic candles (can't burn them for very long bc i get headaches), piercings, tattoos, puns, cool weather, winter, forests, mountains, traveling, new experiences, learning languages (currently knows/studied: english, french, korean, latin), medieval history, having ample amount of alone time/space, the occasional lazy day, the occasional philosophical discussion.

- dislikes: dogs, bitter foods, strong scents, hot weather, summer, spiders, long car rides, feeling restricted, conformity and blind obedience, having to be responsible for others, being vulnerable, when others are condescending towards me (makes my pride flare up, lmao).

- misc.: quite clumsy and prone to getting injured ; accidentally (+purposefully) misuses slang/common phrases ; enjoys skin care and hair care but rarely wears makeup, loves changing up hair often ; used to do gymnastics ; able to play alto saxophone, wants to learn cello ; a weird mix between a night owl and a morning person (but afternoons are rough) ; able to pick up new skills relatively quickly, not afraid of messing up and looking stupid ; majors in international studies and french in uni w/ minors in psychology and medieval history ; studied abroad in korea for 5 months ; prone to bad luck but tries to find the humor in most situations.

- appearance/style: 155 cm / 5’1” ; very pale (burns easily) ; round, youthful face ; single dimple on right cheek when smiling ; big green eyes, long eyelashes ; hair is naturally wavy and light ash brown, often styled w/ front bangs - currently mid-back length toned silver ; 5 piercings in one ear, 4 +an industrial in the other, and a navel piercing ; clothing style is more on the masculine side (rarely wears dresses/skirts, but i do love short shorts), color scheme is black/gray/muted green ; loves fishnets, flannels, leather jackets, combat boots, hightop sneakers ; socks are either black or very colorful/patterned ; enjoys sweatpants and hoodies when lounging at home.

a/n: Hey! I saw my matchup from you this morning! It was great, tysm for doing it!

Lucifer

Despite the fact that you have a somewhat more cold and monotone personality, Lucifer is probably the person you enjoy spending your time with

Lucifer enjoys making you ducks, he aims to make them based upon your interests, like from one of your favorite RPG games or animes

He understands your not an easy one to open up, so he really tries hard not to push you farther than your comfortable, but that doesn’t mean Lucifer’s okay with being shut out - he wants to know your okay (and probably needs to be reassured that regularly)

As much as Lucifer is short, he’s taller than you (just by a few inches), so he really gets a kick out of it. And he’ll realistically tease you for it a fair bit (It may get a bit annoying, but he’s sorta in the moment, but if you ever told him to stop he would)

Runner-Ups: Alastor, Husk

@the-soul-of-a-morningstar : please do not copy, repost or translate onto any other platform.

[i-dont-like-your-peaches]

Lost Queer Headcanons

Jack

Aroace; All the folks who ship Jack in m/f ships are cool and all but my personal way i would write him in an au would probably be him being not super romantically/sexually involved with anyone ,he has relationships with like 10 women so far. But I think it would be funnier if he was just trying to be friendly and personable as the doctor and elected leader on the island and people kept falling for him

my way I’d write him is having a ridiculous amount of female characters (and some male but they’d never admit it) all fall for him and think he reciprocates at some point but he just needs to be nice so people will trust him to stitch up their wounds and stuff

Kate

bisexual but has a strong preference towards women/is sapphic leaning, for a long time after leaving her stepfather she fully identified as a lesbian for a while and her flirting with men is entirely to remain less identifiable/get favors from people, (semi canon) but she’s also a huge girls’ girl and is defensive of a lot of women on the island

She’s had a long list of wlw situationships on the island, her longest one was with Anna Lucia,which is also why she was crying when she was killed bc they were dating for a while, but Claire, Juliet, Shannon, and for a short time Sun when things were bad with Jin are all on her list

Sawyer

bisexual but very masc leaning, similar to Kate though he flirts with women so much to get what he wants out of them, but unlike Kate is deeply ashamed and embarrassed of it and projects a lot

Sawyer and Kate also have a friends/rivales-with-benefits relationship, so they flirt and hook up a lot but they aren’t exclusive to each other

Claire

Trans man who’s egg cracked in high school when he was getting into more alternative crowds, he started experimented with his gender more, which was one of the things that led to him and his mom’s big fight, but he repressed his true identity when he was dating his boyfriend because he “wouldn’t want to date a man”, and he was in the fence for a long long time until after having Aaron and meeting Charlie, his crush on Charlie’s was actually just mistaken gender envy

and after everything he went through while pregnant the idea of womanhood and pregnancy became associated with those trauma and pain and loss of control over his body

Locke

Unlabeled, his sexuality is island/silly , though him and Ben have something going on definitely👇, he experimented in college and when he was in the hippie commune a lot too, if anything he dosent really care about other people’s sexual preferences and thinks of relationships as a more fluid thing #Ally/silly

Ben

Gay and sex-repulsed asexual, his idea of sex is mind games and he was never really interested in that stuff. He mainly out of anything wants people to be close to no matter what, so his obsession with Juliet was less a crush and more wanting her to be close to him and him only

Boone

Saw someone made a joke about Locke being Boones new boyfriend. Which the writers missed out on making the funniest twist of lost being Boone as a very repressed gay man instead of him banging his sister so it’s canon to me. He’s a “libera who “doesn’t believe in guns and goes on marches” from Shannon’s own admittance, to which he gets very embarrassed about and furiously denies. He’s very in the closet and embarrassed about it though. And the type of gay to be very lonely and feel disgusted at the idea of getting a boyfriend or something (despite secretly longing for closeness and connection) has a bit of an adrmiration crush on Locke though it’s mostly because he seems to be the “Ideal Man”

Juliet

Trans woman who became a fertility doctor and found out she was a girl after studying and having experiences with women through medical school including her sister. She was originally an endocrinologist but her egg cracked and she switched her major, though learned to source and administer her own estrogen from it. She is also so soft spoken as a part of voice training, (but also because she doesn’t like loud sounds in general)

Hugo

Trans guy for the vibes, his dysphoria only worsened his mental health in a lot of places though, his feelings about his weight also came from growing up around 2000’s heroin chic culture and the way they treat women that weren’t mega skinny. but after getting rich he started hrt and got top surgery, his chest used to be much larger so he just has regular man boobs now

Mr Eko

This is another one based entirely on vibes, he refers to himself as Mr and has people do it as well, and his religion is deeply intertwined with his own gender identity believing it was gods design for him to be a priest regardless of how he was born, he’s pre-op and doesn’t bind instead preferring to walk around shirtless, although he has PCOS which led to his facial hair growth

[allthepandasintheworld]

Yknow what this thought is going on main:

People who are pretentious cloud-yelling old men about art book/anthology-style zines are annoying as hell and none of you have ever actually spoken to a single person who participates in and runs them before coming to wildly incorrect conclusions about what we do, how we do it, and why we do it.

No, we are not “exploiting free labor”. It’s about as exploitative as participating in a big bang or prompt week. But with a well-run zine, you can expect a decent tip and free fandom stuff. It’s not about earning money to live. It never is. And if you desperately need the money to live, don’t join a zine. spend your time on things that actually guarantee money. You have fundamentally mistaken passion-driven, fan projects with profit-driven consumer products.

No, we are not “charging too much money”. Do you want us to pay our artists and production partners or not? Do you want us to donate proceeds to charity or not? If we do it for free, are we expected to pull money out of our endless pockets to make the project? Hell, actually, plenty of people DO make full free projects (I literally just ran one, Deadly Alliance is fully free and available for download on itch io). You fundamentally do not understand how money works, bc you cannot have a project that is both free and compensates people appropriately, bc the money has to come from *somewhere*.

No, we cannot print at home. Some of us don’t have printers, for one. Also, we cannot charge enough money to even *hope* to compensate artists fairly for their labor if we attempt to sell a zine printed in black and white on printer paper. And on top of that, even if we did have printers at home, the number of zines that need to be printed is prohibitively high for one individual to undertake (why don’t *you* try printing and binding 100 copies of a 40 page magazine all by yourself? Time is one thing, but you’d have to charge even higher amounts of money to be, you know, *fairly compensated*, since that seems to be a big concern). You are ignoring the fact that we are not trying to emulate your genre of traditional zine-making, and you do not understand the division of labor bc not everything can be done by yourself.

No, we cannot lower our costs. Artists and writers working for less than industry wage or volunteering their time for a charity project is one thing, but we can’t just refuse to pay printers and manufacturers. They did not volunteer to be chosen as our production partners, and they deserve to be compensated at their expected rates. You have fundamentally misunderstood how money works, bc we need to earn money in order to spend it.

If you want to print a zine at home and sell it for $3, please by all means do this. I fully support it and if you tag me in the project and I am interested, I will certainly boost it. You can make zines however you please, that’s the beauty of self publishing. You don’t need to feel beholden to the current (quite high) standards of production quality. But at the same time, you can’t yell at people who put in extra work to create a more polished project. And you certainly can’t accuse us of “exploiting” artists when the amount of work we ask for is functionally the same as any free fandom project. We don’t even ask for copyright use of their works—at *most*, a zine mod might ask for a short exclusivity period (only until the zine is wrapped, which is between 6 months to 1 year) after which you can literally do whatever you want with your piece. No respectable fandom zine will ever ask for copyright use of your piece, and only ask for privacy to maintain *value for the customers*. And any contributor who disagrees with a zine’s policies may withdraw their piece at any time with zero consequences bc no contracts are signed and they are not obligated to stick around if they don’t want to.

And if you are upset that you weren’t invited to a project or that you were rejected from one, just… make it yourself. Zines are self-published by nature. Print it at home. Sell it for $3. I don’t care. That’s the point of zines, you do it yourself bc no one else will.

finally as a footnote, I do agree that modern fandom anthologies should have a unique name to indicate it as a sub genre of zines but atp the term is so ingrained that I don’t think new terms will catch on anytime soon. I personally differentiate them as being traditional zines vs anthology-style zines (or art book zines, for projects with art-only) or just fandom anthologies, but they all still fall under the same broader category of zine aka self published magazine. Just bc someone hired a printer (which btw, a lot of zines go with small business printers, aren’t we all about supporting small businesses?) doesn’t mean their zine is “too professional to be a zine” or don’t belong under the umbrella term.

[camotherogue]

OKOKOKOK SOIm gonna do these in segments bc it'll make things easier for me. Any of them without a written explanation is purely vibes based.

First off we have Emo Time- I'll be real this playlist was made around the time of page 300 or so, so way back before click lore happened? Back when a lot of ppl (myself included) headcanoned him as a former soldier

Na Na Na - Feels pretty "I don't need you but please don't leave me alone" to me personally like. Being aggressive because you don't wanna get hurt but not wanting to be alone either. Yeah.

Welcome to the Black Parade - I think this one kinda speaks for itself, also it's marching band and his uniform looks fairly similar to a marching band also

Mama - THIS IS THE CENTER POINT TBH LIKE. ok so the prevailing idea at the time was that click was a former soldier and had left w RGB as a way to escape, figuring he'd be back eventually. Mama was written as a nod and memoir to veterans who returned home only to be scorned and hated for things out of their control, esp after the Vietnam war and I think it fit at the time. Also it's the emo trans anthem and he's transgender to me so there's that too ig

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Honestly this one felt very Film Shoot to me (click RGB pairing which I do enjoy) like. Oh bitter exes I see.

DEBT COLLECTOR - this one was actually based on how he's chasing down RGB in act three! He's trying to get revenge (collecting on the debt rgb made by leaving him for dead?) on the one who wronged him

Little Game - dead ass all projection like. This guy does have identity issues! I personally think he struggled w gender stuff in his youth but never really dug into it because it scared him but gender roles exist for some reason and he kinda realized that he Didn't Like That.

Typical Story - THIS SONG IS JUST. ANGER PERSONIFIED. but hopeless anger. Anger that rots in your chest and carves a hole into your gut. Anger at people who made your life harder and who played pretend for reputation before pushing you aside.

Killdozer - Click rage bender song enough said. Kim Dracula<3

Diet Coke - this one's a BIT personal and relates to uh. ED projection/headcanon stuff so I won't go into detail but I never said this wasn't partly a kin playlist either lmao

Actually all of these four exc for Oh No! are project-y jsjdkfkg sorry folks

Oh No! however is very much how I read him as a character. He's got this crystal clear image of what he SHOULD be and yet everything works against that image of himself. And eventually in his mind he destroys all he touches. Self fulfilling prophecy.

These!! Are very near and dear to me bc Detektivbyrån is a cherished artist of mine. I thought that the music captured the whimsy of the world of Make-Believe as well as the sort of unreal feeling the entire setting has. "Monster" specifically was chosen for the name.

Body - have you READ his dialogue he sees himself as a monster and hates the fact that he can't remember what he used to look like, his own name, his family, anything!

I've got little explanation for these four exc for Rich Kids being just. Such an angry song but this time in a nihilistic/hedonistic way. "Nothing I do matters so fuck it, I'll do what I want to now."

Bang Bang - completely energy related but also again related to the big chase in the Market. Also haha bang bang like gun

Blood - Finishing off w an MCR banger, this one is DEFINITELY his energy and I can't quite put into words why. Maybe it's the mourning what you could have been if not for others in your life, maybe it's the righteous anger at those who turned you into what you are and then decide you're not good enough for them, maybe it's just the realization that the person you put so much trust into turned on you and ended up a hypocritical fuck after all of it. God I love this song

That's about all I've got! I'm *really* glad you like my playlist- though it's due some updates at some point (or perhaps a sequel using what we know now!) and is definitely a little project-y lmao. Thank you so much for sending this in, gave me a great way to occupy my time!

Hello! Found your tpoh click playlist and really enjoyed it; I am currently obsessing over this edgelord nutcracker. Did you have a thought process behind the songs on the playlist, or was it vibes only? If so I would love to hear it!

OHHH OH I AM SO FLATTERED WAUAGHHH. haven't fixated on da click Man in a WHILE so I need to go dredge up my thoughts rq I will type it out and reblog this ask with the results!!!

[dreamnotnapss]

alright y'all

[buoyantsaturn]

ethan’s gonna be so proud of me <3

[yoon-kooks]

paired & puppy-eyed | jjk

⛓️pairing: hotnerd!jungkook x popular!reader

⛓️genre: smut, fluff, college!au

⛓️summary: When Jeon Jungkook agrees to be your partner for a class project, he doesn’t realize what that might escalate to until you show up at his door in a teeny-tiny crop top and cling to his tattooed arm like his naughty little kitten.

⛓️word count: 4.6k

⛓️warnings: dom!jk, sub!reader, daddy/kitten undertones, dirty talk, reader calls herself a sl*t one time, dick tattoo, many rounds of sex off screen😔

⛓️p&p masterlist⛓️

a/n: if you're looking for the ✨filthy✨ smut version, read paired & pierced from the reader's pov! this one takes place in the same 2 days but from jungkook's pov without explicit smut😔 if you read both, lmk which version you preferred! i personally like this one more bc we get more catdad!jjk heh

Jungkook doesn’t always have a goal for the day, but today is different. He’s running on approximately zero hours of sleep and would love to get a nap in before class starts. That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Unfortunately for him, that won’t be happening today because there are at least ten girls huddled next to his desk when he walks into the classroom. An onlooker might assume that these girls are gathered around for a chance to win his heart over, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, there’s a queen bee sitting a foot away from him, and she’s the one everyone’s always drawn to. 

That queen bee is none other than you.

As Jungkook quietly takes his seat, he overhears something about that Loudmouth Jim who sits on the other side of the classroom. Apparently, you were hanging out with that guy at some party. A girl like you can do so much better than Loudmouth Jim who always needs to make everything about him. He couldn’t accept it when his ex broke up with him, so he turned it around on her to make it seem like he was the one breaking things off with her. Now he’s made it his mission to make her jealous by flirting with popular girls like you. Jungkook swears he only knows this because his tattoo artist loves to spill the tea he hears from his other clients.

“Is he as big as they say?” All the girls look so wide-eyed and eager to hear what you have to say about Loudmouth Jim’s cock. They talk about shit like this all the time, and as much as it makes Jungkook want to bang his head against a brick wall, he’s also lowkey disappointed that they’ve never once wondered about the size of his cock. He wouldn’t mind if that seed were planted in that pretty little head of yours.

As it turns out, you haven’t seen Loudmouth Jim’s cock. Thank god. And from what it sounds like, you didn’t want to see it anyway. Good girl. In fact, when Jungkook takes a peek next door, you don’t even look super engaged in the girl talk. You nod along and smile a bit, but you’re a lot quieter than one would expect for someone so popular. It’s kind of cute.

Eventually, class begins and Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief. Now the girls have to cut the chitchat and leave. At long last, he can finally catch up on some sleep. This wouldn’t be an issue if not for the tiny demon kitten that wandered to his doorstep a week ago. Not only does she keep him awake at night by knocking shit down and chewing on his phone charger, but she also haunts him in his sleep.

He dreams of the little fucker swatting her paws against his back and wiggling her tiny body into his hood. When that isn’t enough to get his attention, she starts gnawing on his index finger.

“Hey Jungkook.”

The boy opens an eye and the first thing he sees is you bent down in front of him as if you were about to do something indecent under his desk. He immediately shakes that thought out of his head, though he still has no fucking clue why you’re down there looking up at him with such needy puppy dog eyes.

“Wanna be partners?” you ask him.

Still half-asleep, he looks around the room and sees everyone pairing up and talking about a project of some sort. Fucking hell. He absolutely despises any and all projects that aren’t individual. Even the ones where a super pretty girl is asking to pair up with him. But before he can decline, he notices you checking over your shoulder and sees Loudmouth Jim on his way over. Ah, it all makes sense now. You’re just using him to avoid being partners with that asshole. It’s a matter of picking the lesser of two evils. Understandable.

“Sure, I guess.” As much as Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it, he wouldn’t have had it in him to say no to you anyway. Not with those puppy eyes.

“Good, good.” The smile on your face is too much. Why are you smiling that big for something as small as agreeing to be your partner? It’s really not that deep. But it is really cute. Fuck. See, this is what happens when he doesn’t get enough sleep—his mind develops some sort of irrational softness that won’t go away until he either lets his body rest or rubs one out. He’ll do whatever it takes to get that nasty soft feeling out of his system.

Seeing how the classroom isn’t the best place to have his hand in his pants, he opts to fall back asleep before class ends. Hopefully he won’t be disturbed by any more kitten nightmares.

Ten seconds later, Loudmouth Jim enters the scene, and Jungkook can kiss his nap goodbye. Still slumped over, the sleep-deprived boy listens in on the awkward exchange between you and Loudmouth. Bro apparently can’t take a hint that you want nothing to do with him. Jungkook would step in and tell Jim to fuck off, but he wants to see you do it yourself. That would be kind of hot.

“I’m actually partnered up with Jungkook, sorry,” you say in an apologetic tone. You probably get taken advantage of all the time because of that compassion. There’s no need for you to be so nice to everyone you interact with, and especially not to shallow people like Jim. That must be exhausting.

“That kid asked you to be his partner?” Loudmouth spits. Kid? Jungkook does his best not to snort while pretending to be dead. When he takes a peek, he sees you nod. “And you said yes?” 

You nod again. This time, however, you don’t give him the gentleness you’re known for. With a furrowed brow, you almost look bothered—something you probably feel all the time but never show. It’s so rare to see your emotions out in the open like that. It’d be quite intriguing to see how you look when you’re genuinely happy, sad, mad, horny—

Nope. Jeon Jungkook is not going to let his sleepy mind wander there on a Friday morning. It can at least wait until he gets home.

After Loudmouth Jim is gone, Jungkook sits up and stares at you. Your face has already softened back up. Fuck it. He’s never seen anyone so cute in his entire life, through sleep-deprived glasses or not.

“Why didn’t you just partner up with that other guy? It sounded like he wanted to work with you.” Kind of a dick move of him to ruffle your feathers when he already knows about your distaste for Jim, but Jungkook is genuinely curious to hear what you have to say. And he’s not one to be curious about other people’s affairs.

“That’s not what he wanted,” you say. They don’t call him Bad Intentions Jim for nothing.

“What about everyone else? Aren’t you friends with everyone here?” Perhaps “friends” isn’t the best word to describe the rest of your classmates, but it’s clear that they enjoy being in your presence.

Apparently, you feel a bit more detached than that. According to you, no one’s going out of their way to save you from a hypothetical burning house. Jungkook probably would. But there’s no way in hell he’s admitting something like that. He’d sound like a simp!

“Who would you save?” he asks. Surely you have someone you’d put before anyone else. Anyone would be lucky to be your number one.

“No one.” 

Jungkook knows he shouldn’t feel a certain way about your answer, but he can’t control how his lips curl into the slightest smile. Your response is proof that the two of you aren’t as different as it seems. He might even like you for it.

Heck, he might even offer to do the whole damn project by himself and still give you credit for it! That’s the plan he has cooked up for his antisocial self—until you keep insisting on working together. Something about meeting up on the weekend. Maybe he should stop playing hard to get and just say okay.

“I’m busy.” He immediately hates himself for saying it. That’s his default response for any sort of social gathering, and his dumbass went on autopilot for no reason.

“Busy with what?” The way you flutter your eyelashes at him is both innocent and seductive. Are you actually flirting with him? Because it’s working.

“My newborn,” he utters out of panic. It didn’t entirely come out of his ass, though. The vet did say his kitten is around eight weeks. That’s basically a newborn, and she’s definitely been keeping him busy.

But then your eyes get all big and sparkly. “You have a child?”

How the fuck is Jungkook supposed to respond to that? You’re so excited over a human baby that doesn’t exist, and now he has to be the bringer of bad news. He normally doesn’t feel bad for others, but this makes him feel like absolute shit.

“If it’s easier for you and the little one, we can work at your place?” you offer. Why the fuck are you so gullible and trusting in him, and why is that a huge turn-on for him?

“I was just fucking with you…” he finally comes clean. You look exactly like the surprised Pikachu meme, and yes, it’s adorable. Fine, you win. He gives you his number and address and invites you over. 

All that for a fucking project.

When Jungkook returns home, a sleepy kitten waddles its way over to the door to greet him. She yawns her fish breath in his face as soon as he picks her up for a kiss. Ungrateful little demon.

She doesn’t stop there, either. With a burst of energy and a bushy tail, she flicks her eyes around, looking for a wire to chew on. The computer cords must be quite appetizing because she keeps trying to eat them.

“Hey, that's dangerous, Lucy.” Jungkook peels the kitten away from the wires and sets her down on his bed, but she just runs right back into the danger zone. “Lucinda, you little shit.”

Twenty minutes later, the boy makes a run to the pet store and returns with a few peace offerings. He’s not much of a cat person, so he has no idea what all the young kittens are into nowadays. Hopefully they like mouse toys and pink bunnies.

Like the new father he is, Jungkook spends the rest of his evening teaching the kitten how to play fetch, rocking her to sleep, and tucking her in with the mouse and bunny. Finally, the demon has been tamed.

By the time he gets into bed, it’s already past midnight. He’s exhausted and should probably get some sleep, and yet his mind is still wandering. He can’t quite shake that image of you getting down on your knees at his desk, just begging for his attention. For a second, it looked as though you, the most popular girl on campus, were lusting after his cynical smartass self. The mere possibility of that lures his hand into his pants to address that ache he’s been enduring all day. But before he can get any relief, he hears a set of paws back on the prowl.

Jungkook hobbles out of bed and turns on the light. To no one’s surprise, the naughty kitten is caught red-handed with a wire in her mouth.

With a sigh, he collects the kitty, sits her down in his lap, turns his computer on, and opens up the code for the partner project. It’s going to be a long night.

The funny thing is, the assignment itself doesn’t require much time or effort. What takes up all his time and effort is this silly kitten. She’s adorable but so damn needy. Kind of like you. If you were here to work on the project with him like you’d fought so hard to do, you’d surely be much too big of a distraction. No work would ever get done when you bat your eyes at him and giggle over the tiniest things.

It takes a good few hours between modifying and adding lines of code and keeping an eye on the troublemaker, but Jungkook eventually gets it done before the sun rises. As an added bonus, the naughty little wire fairy has finally worn herself out. She curls into a ball on top of Jungkook’s chest and falls into a deep slumber. The boy is out a minute later.

It’s around ten in the morning when Jungkook wakes up and checks his phone. You’re supposed to drop by sometime today, aren’t you? He wishes he knew when to expect you, or if you weren’t coming at all. It’s up to you to message him, though, since he gave you his number and not the other way around.

Just then, he hears a knock at the door. His first instinct says it’s you. But then he checks his phone again and sees no new message from your unknown number. Surely you’d shoot him a text before heading his way.

It’s probably just the special package of kitty toys he ordered a few days ago. He’d get up to check, but he’s not trying to disturb the little rascal from her slumber. She’s still resting peacefully on his chest, and he’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

But what if the package gets stolen? Jungkook spent a lot more money than he’d like to admit on those kitty toys, and he’d be pretty pissed if someone took that away from his child.

Groaning, Jungkook slowly lifts the sleepy kitten off his chest and places her on the warm spot where he’d been lying. She stretches out her tiny limbs but otherwise continues her snooze. Perfect.

The first thing he sees when he opens the door is your bare tummy because you’ve apparently decided to show up at his door unannounced in a micro crop top. It’s so short your pretty tits might pop out if your arms were held above your head. Jeon Jungkook wouldn’t mind seeing a little underboob if that’s the look you’re going for today.

Then he notices you staring at him like he’s a stranger. You haven’t even greeted him yet. He watches as your eyes travel up his bare arm to his face and messy man bun, and then back to his arm. That’s when it hits him. This is the first time you’re seeing any of his tattoos and piercings. 

The quiet studious Jeon Jungkook at school doesn’t look like the type to have a full sleeve or this many piercings. He doesn’t like drawing attention to himself and prefers to keep a low profile. Life is just easier that way. That’s why he always takes his piercings out and covers his tattoos with a hoodie when it’s time to go to class. 

Seeing him now in a muscle tank must be quite shocking to you.

“Why do you look like that?” You have the audacity to point the finger at him when you’re looking that good in your little crop top. “I mean, if I’d given you a heads-up, would you have thrown on a hoodie and removed all your piercings before I got here?”

Oh? You sound kind of upset at the fact that he’s been intentionally hiding his body art in class. Like you’ve been missing out.

“Maybe,” he answers as he leads you inside. Your curious eyes are still glued to his tattoos. You ask why he hides it all, and he mentions his distaste for compliments and small talk. 

He does it to avoid the exact things you’re so good at attracting.

“Fine, I won’t talk about how pretty I think your tattoos are.” You bring out a pouty lip to combo with those puppy eyes. He wonders how you make your pupils so big like that. And what the fuck are you so whiny for? You want to admire his body art that badly? Fine.

“I’ll grant you permission to give one single compliment.” Without a single thought, he lifts his tatted arm for you to grab onto. Your hands are so soft and warm as they slide across each tattoo. It’s in times like this that Jungkook wishes his entire body was covered in tattoos for you to trace with that angelic touch.

After what feels like forever, you still haven’t said your one compliment. It seems like you’re just using this as an excuse to latch onto his arm like his little kitten. 

“Well? Are you gonna fangirl over my tattoos or just keep fondling my arm?” He’d give you a nudge but his arm is too busy being fondled.

“I wish I could see all of them.” Your eyes meet his as your tits press into his arm. The compliment is innocent at face value, but the implications behind it sure as hell aren’t. Oh, you definitely want to fuck him.

If you think you can just waltz into his home with that crop top, drool all over his tattoos, and ask for sex so shamelessly, you’re not wrong. His body is aching to squeeze those tits, to feel just how tight you are, and to make you squirm until you squirt.

“Ooh kitty.” Like an easily distracted toddler, you toss his arm aside and move on to the next toy that fascinates you. The kitten drops her mouse in front of you and sniffs your hand when you scoop her up. Jungkook watches from afar as his own kitten steals you away from him. She even presses her pink nose to your cheek. That little fucker.

Jungkook has to bite his tongue at least five times to stop himself from asking if you’re done playing with his cat. He’d come off as jealous and needy for your attention. Instead, he acts like the mature father he is and puts her to bed in that pink new donut cushion he’d bought for her the other day. She kneads her paws on the bunny until she can’t keep her eyes open anymore and settles into the loaf position. He’s convinced she’s only behaving like an angel right now to impress his lady friend. 

“So what’s this project again?” The boy has no intentions of actually working on the project, but he’d prefer it if you weren’t so focused on his cat.

“You’d know if you were listening!” You turn back to the cat again. He could’ve sworn he heard you whispering something into her triangle ears like, “Your daddy is so useless.”

Hearing that name come out of your mouth is confirmation. Confirmation that you’d be so submissive if he were to spread your legs open and make you his little plaything. And he kind of likes the sound of that.

“I’m just fucking with you again. I already finished it, by the way,” he hums. Since you seem to be the stubborn type when it comes to project participation, he sits you down at his computer with the finished code to prove that daddy is not in fact useless.

He expects you to be all wide-eyed and impressed by his work, but you simply sigh as you run the program. Great. It appears he has yet another ungrateful little thing on his hands.

But then you start adding in a bunch of stuff “for the aesthetic” because although he’s “quite possibly the nerdiest boy you’ve ever met,” there’s still room for growth when it comes to “the fun shit.” And by “the fun shit,” you mean coding in a cat doing some elaborate kpop choreo. 

Half an hour later, you run the final product again and submit it in its perfect form. Aren’t you the nerd here? Quite possibly the prettiest nerd he’s ever met.

“Are you sure that Jim guy wasn’t trying to be your partner just to get a good grade? Nerd,” Jungkook says before face-palming internally. Why does he always resort to name-calling as his way of flirting with people? This is why no one likes him and why he’d rather just keep his mouth shut. He’s going to ruin a good thing with you if he keeps that up.

But to his surprise, you throw the name right back at him with a playful smile on your face. “If that were the case, he would’ve asked for a threesome with you too, Nerd.”

“Not particularly interested in a threesome with him.” But a threesome with you? Sounds interesting.

You call Jim an asshole and don’t deny that you have a bunch of shallow relationships with the people in your class. When the boy asks you about it, you admit it’s intentional. It’s this mindset of surrounding yourself with a lot of different people until you run into the few you click with. 

And while Jungkook can’t relate to having that many connections to his peers, he understands the desire for someone who cares for you unconditionally and makes you want to do the same. He’s been waiting for that person to show up for him too. Idly. At least you’re putting yourself out there.

“Found anyone yet?” he asks, lying down on his bed. He stares up at the ceiling and not at the pretty person sitting less than a foot away from him. You’d joined him on the bed at some point to play with the kitten, but the feline was very quick to abandon you. Now it’s just you and him.

“There might be a boy I’m interested in.” Your voice is flirty and soft. The boy knows he might have a big ego at times, but there’s no doubt in his mind that you’re talking about him. You wouldn’t be on his bed eyeing him like that if that weren’t the case.

With that knowledge in mind, Jungkook decides to tease you some more. “I bet it’s Jim, isn’t it? You know, like a passionate love-hate type thing?”

“Fuck no.” Your face hovers over his like the moon during an eclipse, except you’re much more enticing to look at. He catches your eyes on his lips until they find their way up to meet his gaze. “Never mind, it’s no one.”

Liar.

“Really?” His body suddenly moves on its own, overcome with the lust that had been building up since you first showed him those puppy eyes in class. He pulls you beneath him and holds both of your wrists above your head. He was right. That crop top is indeed short enough to show him some underboob with you in that helpless position. And, much like how you said you wanted to see all his tattoos, he wants nothing more in this moment than to see the rest of you until he’s seen it all. 

Purposely keeping the tiniest distance between his lips and yours, he whispers, “I was under the impression you were kind of into me.”

As the afternoon turns to evening, you’re still at Jungkook’s place, still fondling his arm on his bed, and still obsessed with all the art and piercings that grace his body. The two of you had fallen asleep after getting a few rounds of filthy sex out of your systems, much to the boy’s surprise. He’s used to people leaving right after, whether it’s because the relationship was purely sexual or because it just wasn’t worth his time. You’re different, though. There’s something about you that he wants to keep holding onto.

“Did this one hurt?” You poke the metal sticking out of his eyebrow.

“Not as much as you stabbing me with your finger just now,” he frowns, running a hand through his messy hair. The man bun must’ve come out at some point in the midst of all that hair pulling and wrestling in the sheets.

“You must have really low pain tolerance then,” you giggle with your finger ready to poke him someplace else. But before you can do so, he closes his hand around yours and tucks your pointy finger away to put an end to your antics. “You’re no fun,” you pout.

“Really? You seemed like you were enjoying it when I let you s—”

“Where’s this one from?” You somehow dodge the accusation and free your finger from his grasp to poke the shark tattoo that you now know hides beneath his shirt. You’re so sneaky.

“Someone.” Aka the same artist he gets his gossip from.

“What about the… snake one?” Of course that’s the one that pops into your dirty little head.

“Someone else.” Aka the one he might have slept with a few times before she convinced him that the snake would look good on him there. She wasn’t wrong. “You’re nosy.”

“I’m just asking! Maybe I want a tattoo too!” you squeak. Jungkook has no doubt in his mind that you’d look pretty damn hot with any tattoo anywhere on that body. “Tattoos are attractive, no?”

“Be honest, you only fucked me for my tattoos, huh.” The boy knows this to be false because you aren’t the shallow type, but he just wants to hear what other good things you have to say about him. Because maybe he doesn’t hear that a lot from others.

“Obviously. It had nothing to do with how hot you are, or how easy you are to talk to, or how soft you are for your cat, or how perfect of a pair we made for that project,” you lie with the most charming smile ever, snuggling up as close as you possibly can to his body. Twirling his long hair around your finger, you tuck it behind his ear, and whisper, “I’m such a little slut for your tattooed cock.”

The boy gets yet another urge to tear your clothes off again and feel your bare body connect with his so perfectly. He’s just about to shove his hand into your panties (you gave up on pants after the third time) when you let out a tiny snicker.

“I take back what I said about you not being fun,” you say, lips flush against his neck. “You’re fun to tease.”

Him? Fun to tease? Maybe you’re forgetting about all the teasing and torture he put you through earlier. Maybe you’re in need of a little reminder.

“Hey,” he says in his stern parent voice. You look up at him with those big innocent eyes again. Oh great. It’s clear that you know his weakness and aren’t afraid to exploit it. Just like how his naughty little kitten knows she can get away with anything because she’s too cute to get mad at. “Behave or I’ll kick you out.”

“Oh?” His so-called threat catches your attention enough to get your ass in his lap and your hands tangled in his hair. You let him taste your lips, your tongue, your everything—a sweet taste he won’t ever get sick of. “Do whatever you please to me,” you purr as the soft kisses quickly become an unbearable heat of pure desire.

Between you and his kitten, Jungkook already knows he’s gonna have his hands full. The thought of caring for others would normally irk him, but it’s not like he could ever say no to you or the kitten, even if he tried.

[flamagenitus]

I'm terribly sorry, Kess, but you appear to have activated my trap card.

I honestly don't think it's googleable info! The project involved making small utility programs for gathering info about a big graph. The teacher knew what he was doing when he assigned it to us, and there's no easy way to just... look up the answer. The only way to do it properly is to actually know how to use python and to understand graph theory, and combine the two yourself to fulfill the assignment.

However. The people on this course are all biologists. Nobody knew programming before, like, 4 months ago, and there haven't really been enough classes teaching people python since then. Nobody knows how to program in python this year, and they kinda didn't know how to program in python last year. It's a problem inherent to the way the degree is taught, I think (and I do have many thoughts on the matter). When I took this module last year, I straight-up just didn't do the project bc I had no idea how to go about it. I'm actually pretty shocked I was able to get my programs working how I wanted them to this year! And I'm fairly sure the teacher will look at them and tear them to pieces bc they give the right results sometimes but don't actually work, like he has on non-evaluated work earlier in the semester lmao. So even though I'm "helping", it's kind of the blind leading the blind.

The actual reason my classmate is using ChatGPT, I'm pretty sure, is bc everyone in my class but me is using it routinely for assignments and practical classes. The teachers know this is happening, they just don't have a coherent policy about it yet other than, like, don't use it in exam settings pls. They want to incorporate its use into the curriculum, but they don't know how to yet. We had a teacher last year tell us to use ChatGPT to generate code (syntacticly perfect, logically terrible) then adapt it so that it worked, to show us the limitations of language model-generated code. It is a workable way of programming, but it requires that you know enough about programming the be able to fix the errors, and so it doesn't actually address the problems my class has: none of us know what the hell we're doing.

I'm not sure how my classmates are actually faring using ChatGPT, because while they are all smart people who have been given exactly the same information as me, and probably put in a lot more work and thought to the problem than me, there's no reasonable way to be like "hey person I don't really know, can I look at your work for the assignment? No no I'm not stealing it, promise, i just want to see if your methods actually work. What do u mean that's insulting". I myself am not using ChatGPT bc I am addicted to doing things the hard way, which involves reading loads and loads of very dry program documentation pages and spending hours banging my head against walls bc I didn't understand the difference between a matrix and a data frame. I'm the kind of freak who likes breaking things into their constituent parts and then rebuilding them, probably wrong, to figure out how they work, even if it takes a billion hours. Sometimes this works, but often it's just me repeatedly throwing myself against the walls of my own ignorance, desperately wishing there was an easier way to accomplish what I want. It sucks, but I won't learn how to use ChatGPT bc I simply don't trust it to do what I want to do, and also because I would rather do things myself because knowing that I did it is infinitely more satisfying. Like I said, I am addicted to doing things the hard way. (My classmates are biologists. I am a biochemist. There is a difference and the difference is that nobody has ever made them try to read an NMR spectrum.)(there's probably a reason I'm retaking my year c:)

Also: all the documentation available is in English and I am the only native English-speaker in the class. At least ChatGPT also exists in French and doesn't speak like a technical manual or a genie providing you with exactly the information you need and not a spare morsel more.

Anyway, I don't blame her for asking for help. We all need help, and since none of us are getting it from teachers we may as well band into little coalitions to share our confusions. I'm just used to working with my friend from last year, who only uses ChatGPT when she's desperate. Adding a new person who uses ChatGPT as a matter of course just made the gears in my brain grind bc I was trying to shift gears too fast! Hence the original post, basically. Also, I was at my grandma's house and my mum was treating me like a teenager, and I was generally kind of irritated bc family at Christmas

Trying to help one of my classmates with a programming project we all have due in 2 days and it's hard bc she keeps asking ChatGPT for code. Like. Girl. The language model isn't capable of logic and it cannot write a coherent python script for you

[iraprince]

Hey Ira how do you finish stuff? i've been working on a project for months and i just cant find a way to complete it

see, the thing is my first instinctive response to this question was "idk, because i feel like i never finish anything either!"

i mean, obviously i DO, i finish stuff for work etc and if i really never finished anything then there would be nothing on this blog. but from where i'm standing it feels like the amount of stuff i've actually finished is like, a tiny tiny drop in the massive ocean of stuff i've THOUGHT about or WANT to do or maybe have even STARTED but are all collecting dust on the back burner

i think ive had the idea for project catboy since, like, 2017 or something, and i still only have the first draft outline done; i keep thinking i'm not ready to do it justice yet. i think the villains win has existed for a similar amount of time as a concept and i DID finally start it but i've been too busy/occupied w other things to continue. i've been wanting to open an online shop and sell prints + merch for years now, and have done maybe one or two steps in that direction, but then it keeps stalling and getting lost amidst my other more pressing to-dos

basically: i am always working on projects for months (and years!) and never finding ways to complete them, and any personal project i do end up finishing feels like a huge outlier most of the time

so i don't really have solid advice bc i struggle w it so much myself, but i guess i do have a "hey, you're not alone." just keep banging away at things and eventually some of it will pop through, even if most of it doesn't. if i try really hard to skim over the stuff that DOES get done and find a common thread, it's either 1. i literally Had to (work stuff etc,) or 2. i was EXTREMELY passionate/excited about it, and i had a plan/the scope was visible + digestible (i knew how it was going to end or i was kind of aware of all the parts that needed to come together, rather than just kind of writing/drawing endlessly into the abyss without being able to visualize how much progress i was making). if there's no end in sight, maybe the next best step is getting more specific/granular about what the end would actually look like; a lot of times i find that i THINK i know what a project would need to be done, but in reality it's all just a pretty vague concept in my head, and i never actually sat down and hammered out the steps of what i need to do/make! if you have a fixed endpoint, you can ALWAYS be inching toward it, even if it takes forever.

(also, do it shittier. im being so serious. whenever u get really stuck, do a shitty job just to get onto the next step. if you hit the finish line you can always go back and improve/redo things, but a lot of times you might look back and be like "actually the low effort version is fine, in the big picture")