#bc the overthinking starts
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anyway goodnight moontuals
#i was deciding what i was gonna do for the ateez revival event bc i do want to make smth#but then i saw something that upset me#and i'm dumb bc i knew it was going to happen eventually#but still it's not fun when it actually does happen#bc the overthinking starts#and i was already lowkey stressed and highkey exhausted#so now i just want to crawl in bed and sleep </3#need an early night ksjdfksd#goodnight sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite#or smth#nele.txt
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Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)
#gw2#sylvari#artgallery#mourynn#mourynn art#I've just been so tired lately bc of work#also just going a bit stir crazy with the silence (lonely; but alas I unfortunately suck at starting convos bc I have nothing interesting t#talk about and work has been draining my social energy; making it even harder :( (I'd rather burn the social energy with friends yknow?)#it's getting a wee bit better; but I haven't had much time or energy to even game while we're in the midst of our busiest season :(#I miss hanging out and chatting with my buds; but the universe insists on keeping us apart :(#just miss having something to look forward to throughout my day. Been trying to fill it with other things; but the depresso is overriding i#Mostly just been me with my thoughts and that is just bad bc I got so many horrors in there lmao.#I wanna at the very least; draw more or game more to distract from it; but work is sapping all my time and energy from it.#but also it's very quiet on my end and it's kicking my overthinking into overdrive so I#Ive just been fighting with my mind lately lmao#hopefully this will all pass soon so I won't obsessively keep thinking about it loll#lol I'd post this in the servers but it's vent art so it feels a bit weird to do; so it's going straight to home video w/o a theater releas#hopefully once work calms down it'll help#(I have so many long shifts makes me so frustrated bc I hate them and I run out of steam half way through)#other than all that I'm doing fine lol. My brain's always been like this; But I usually only get like this during the winter season#(bc of the holidays making everything quiet and also the SAD) so it feels weird having this exact same feeling happen to me in July lol
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not to throw blasphemous accusations at those crumbs of trans representation we have but im lowkey getting tired of how many non-binary gender identities are portrayed by shapeshifters, aliens, ancient gods, robots and all other explicitly non-human characters
#and them not being a human is usually used as a way to explain and justify their “unconventional” gender identity#idk idk overthinking it. underthinking it. front back and left to right thinking it#also im not really talking about character codding atm where things like that are a metaphor for trans identity#but like when out of the entire cast of characters the only explicitly trans one is like that#it just feels like some sort of “buffer” so all the dudebros could go “well ofc theyre transgender bc they can change their entire body lol#heard a guy say that about mystique being genderfluid and started seeing red. like im genderfluid and i can say thats not how that works
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some design comcepts for older lily + lewis!!! my latest and greatest headcanon for them is that in the future they get gems and can do magic of their own :33 i just think it’d be neat,,, something to do with their love of magic!!!! 🥺
#im normal about stdwolom. number one fan have been since i was 15#i need them EXPLODED AND GONE THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME BYE#anyways these designs are still. rather up in the air#definitely need some more refining and all that#but yknow!!! for now theyre pretty good kickoff points 🥺#lewis’s fit is loosely based off a wizard fit i gave him in a halloween piece from 2022 hehehe!!#I THINK THEY SHOULD GET MAGIC. I THINK THEY SHOULD AS A TREAT#billie helps them learn ofc!!! AND SO DOES STOTLE. THEM AND THEIR THREE WEIRD KIDS OR WHATEVER#i love them so bad. stdwolom….☹️☹️☹️#dont overthink the gem colours or anything btw. i think theyre just… general ones? question mark?#IDK MAYBE ILL PUT MORE THOUGHT INTO THE SPECIFICS LATER#BUT FOR NOW THEYRE JUST. GENERAL ONES WITH NO SPECIFIC POWERS IN PARTICULAR LMAO#robin’s art#billie bust up#2024 art#bbu billie#bbu lewis#bbu lily#stdwolom#this all started bc i looked at stdwolom and went ‘i think they should be she/her they/them cool hat coded. lewis should get a cool hat’#then i brain blasted.#whats more cool hat than a wizard and whats more wizard than ACTUAL MAGIC#i like to think im smart sometimes#okay hi update these guys are part of my… oc lore? now so uhhh guess theyre getting the story tag#The Panderity Chapter
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idea. since askdusttale answered an ask about where dust got his determination from (because dust has SOME determination just so he can remember the timelines and keep going against the human) and said it was totally up to personal interpretation on how he got his determination. so so so like what if what if dusttale's player did something similar to something new's player and changed dust's code to give him determination??? so dust and killer COULD BOTH had their codes tampered with??? the parallels would be INSANE. they both started off as sans and got their codes tampered with by the player but dust and killer went on two opposite paths. dust out of his own voalition decided to go against the human but killer had to team up with the human no choice at all. the opposite parallels go CRAZY oh god im tweaking
killer doesn't know exactly (since i forgot whether or not he can see codes or something like that. i swear there was an image of him describing fell and swap's code and then his own) but he can SENSE that something's off. something's different about dust that he doesn't quite know about. maybe it gets him to ask a bunch of questions that dust is definitely not open to answering because jesus man mind your own damn business but the question that really sets killer off is the way dust answers when he asks "so if you have determination then how did you get it?" and dust just shrugs his shoulders and said that one day he suddenly remembered the resets and then that's when he got it (and then goes back to mumbling to phantom paps or wtvr) and killer's just like. zomg. a sudden change in behavior or mentality that seemingly has no apparent reason related to the human???? like like like when he suddenly had to agree with the player despite literally never wanting to????? killer is over thinking the implications behind this
meanwhile dust is just annoyed now because killer keeps on following him. he keeps asking him strange questions. wtf why is the guy asking to see his SOUL that's incredibly personal???? he just wants to be left alone man he has no idea what's going on
#this is what happens when i go on my weekly ask dusttale scroll through i come up with ideas like this#one day killer asks dust if he knows about the players and creators#dust says no. and the moment killer starts explaining it to him he backs off#because dust is actually fucking going crazy at what he just barely said#there are people above us that control our stories??? our LIVES???#so he wasn't fighting against some random human but a literal god who wanted to play with him out of curiosity???#dust is never going to forget that conversation. killer knows even that one sentence changed him#dust is really paranoid now when he sees a human. immediately kills them compared to before#yk what let's make this nightmare's gang related! nm notices dust's paranoia toward humans#mans is getting upset because he's killing precious negativity. so he asks killer#killer wtf happened to dust i told you to watch over him and horror (sadly i cant drag him into this hc)#and killer's like i might've told him about creators and players and now he's probably having a crisis over his free will and stuff#yeahhhh that dust gets replaced asap. it's better to leave aus unaware of creators in the DUST (haha)#and then promptly replaces him. killer keeps on eyeing the new dust like#is it a dusttale thing? is it all dusts? or was that the only one? maybe this one KNOWS?#but in the end he leaves him alone bc nm told him too. he's still overthinking those implications though#GOD THIS IS SUCH A COOL FUCKING IDEA#askdusttale i love having freedom to come up with ideas like this BLESS 🙏🙏🙏#listen if there were a real canon reason dust gets determination then i wouldn't have this idea#but dusttale's canon is so loose and just structural its GREAT!!!! i love it#and the fact that the dusttale fics dont even change much to the lore??? just explains dusts personality better#HOW MANY MORE PARALLELS CAN THE MTT HAVE BEFORE THEY EXPLODE I SWEAR#killer sans#dust sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#utmv#sans au#tricule rant
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would you guys kill me if i still ended up reposting the first prince!gojo x knight!reader piece without having the other ones ready..............
#kicks a rock#i do see why ppl don't like that#but i just.............. idk i really hate holding onto things bc then i start to overthink everything#aaaaand perhaps getting some feedback would be good too yk?#sigh anyway i'm just Pondering#mayor of loserville
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booked a hotel and got the concert ticket aghhhh
#i talk#still gotta get the train ticket too but mannn i get way too worked up over this stuff#been procrastinating it for like a month now like i Want to go but there are so many unknown variables and that shit is scary#first time going to a concert in another country alone and i spent a lil more than i wouldve wanted but hopefully its gonna be worth it#and like im most likely completely overthinking this (as i do most things) and everythings gonna be completely fine#but ahh so many what if's so much uncertainty#but im also excited its like a tiny step outside of my comfort zone and you gotta start somewhere bc id love to travel alone more#(mostly bc i wanna travel but dont have anyone to go with but thats a whole other thing)#and ive been rly into this band for a few years now and i really want this chance to see them live bc theres prob not gonna be another one#(watch them come to my city next year lmaoo)#god im not made for this but do it scared!! do it alone!! i want to experience more things in life!!#ive literally talked to my therapist about this extensively and to several coworkers and everyones like do it! its a great first step!#went through every thing that could go wrong (but very likely will not) and alternatives for every situation
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I feel a little better today 💖💖 I'm replaying Pikmin 4 and it's sooooo fun and seeing my wife is so nice 😭😭 I love girls I love women and kissing them!!!
#jane journals#self insert talk#🐶 puppy love 🐶#i just added some stuff to the queue ahdjfjfjf i need to draw us again soon...#its a little hard rn bcs im overthinking like crazy#but my partner and friends are helping me out a lot 💖💖💖#BUT SHEPHERD UGGGHH MY WIFE SHEPHERD#I WANT HER 💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘#i love the idea of having a huuuuge crush on her while in rookie training camp#maybe she does some of the training herself and i manage to pass despite being so distracted ajfjgkg#LIKE THE FACT THAT SHEPHERD RECOGNIZES THE PLAYER CHARACTER AT THE START OF THE GAME#its like hiiii 🥺 omg hii
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i seem to not beat myself up when i advocate for myself and others regularly but especially others. seeing/accepting the humanity and flaws of others help me to accept them in myself. they are what they are; i am what i am. pulling others up seems to lift me, too
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im thinking about first year healer akihiko again and how he would try his best to heal shinji & mitsuru through each battle since he’s the only one who can. how he might accidentally miss them getting injured occasionally because he’ll quickly focus on fighting instead … so he has to patch up what he missed when they get back to the dorms …
+ thinking about shinji and mitsuru sitting there as akihiko bandages them up, n he’s telling them to be more careful n they’re just thinking “how are we the ones being scolded here… by him of all people” 💆
++ akihiko years later being hella good at patching ppl up bc he was put on healing duty in their first year on top of his boxing & general rowdiness… hes so serious about making sure his team is properly healed & bandaged… im so very ill about medic akihiko… thank you…
#p3#idk if u can tell but i think about healerhiko more than i should#hes not even the main healer… not even close#do i still overthink about him being a healer? of course i do. i am autistic#reload removing mitsurus heals … im more grateful than i can say#theres also just something in akihiko (the impulsive energetic one) being forced to sit back n keep a close eye on everyone#&ive talked ab this once… but i love akihiko feeling proud of his ability to heal#to protect them and help them because it makes him feel like hes actually making a difference#also bc who doesnt want to see shinji n mitsuru flustered about the fact that aki is being the responsible one for once#akihiko sanada#shinji would tell him that they wouldnt be hurt if aki focused on healing n aki would promptly ignore his wounds and start wrestling him
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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Random animatic cuz i was bored
#toontown#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#toontown firestarter#flint bonpyre#toontown pacesetter#graham payser#firesetter#they have band shirts bc im sick of drawing suits.#i think its part of the reason im sorta burnt out#so im gonna start dripping them out . or altering their suits somehow#also! i wanna make more animatics for other chars#i realized today i have maybe one very old firesetter animatic#so i need more#also i overthink my animatics a lot in many ways#this one is. idk. its just silly. exists for fun#didnt overthink it. it was fun
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Ohhhh i now remember why i got shy about talking abt ocs
24/7 fear that someone will tell me my ideas are cliche/stupid/bad in some other and it will hurt more bc these are my own creations and not just fun and play
#kurjatxt#i was trying 2 explain some stuff and i was immediately like#:/ does this feel like some kinf of weird hype for ancient mysticism and does that go into promoting the current day false ideas plaguing#people that make them drink unpasturized milk :/#is this too based on my view on magic from my enviroment bc it is based on my personal experience on seeking safety in#nostalgia and playing w the idea of balancing what you get from the past and integrating it into the future vs. just being stuck in the#past vs. the danger of completely rejecting the past told through the lense of smth i loved as a child: fantasy/magic/fairytales :/#and could be alienating and immature and demeaningly simple to other people who grew up in an enviroment already more inclined to#this kind of balance :/#or is me thinking about this demeaning to people bc i should be able to trust them to see what i make as silly ramblings by some random#tumble user just exploring their own experiences through story instead of trying to make some large sweeping statements about#the world and its reality :/#or is it bad of me to be careless about bc of COURSE i should put the upmost care into what i put out into the world and make sure that#everything i make is inclusive and as accessible to as many different types of people to relate to :/#or is that dumb is that limiting to art and am i giving a bad example and furthering the idea of people#havibg to make everything as palatable to everyone as possible JUST in case that nobody gets even slightly hurt or annoyed :/#man being a creator is hard OOPS that is also an evil thing to say being a creator is the luckiest thing you can ever be and ur just beinh#a whiny bitchbaby :/#<-#all that just. a small portion of the overthinking#and yk what it started from?#thr statement '<#in this world magic can be kind of more compared to how modern science is approached'#THAT SENTENC3#I AM SO STRESSED ABOUT#WhY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS!!!! I DONT KNOW!!!#sorry this is prolly the longest tags ive ever put on a post sorry to whoever opened the see more for this#its just. i think tj3 first tim3 ive been able.to expresw the circles my brain does and its kind of therapeutic#maybe i should start writing these circles down more often so i could see how dumb they rly are on paper#instead.of fretting inside my heae
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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just so u guys know i haven't been this attached to someone (suna) since oikawa tooru which started like 4 years ago i kid u not
#might have to start doing self ship stuff too jk i could never i'd overthink actually posting any of that stuff way too hard#i hate to even say this BUT although the WORLD doesn't think we're comptaible i think we'd be just fine#like according to my research 🤓☝️ our only problem is aquariuses like to be independent while cancers need reassurance or something#well good thing#warning for family problems??#GOOD THING I WAS NEGLECTED AS A CHILD LMAOOO#i'll be fine i'm pretty independent too so we would be such a power couple#thank u for listening#ness' brainvomit <3#also in my heart i always thought he was a scorpio before the world decided to crush me#and whatever i say goes#if i say suna and me are compatible who r u to tell me i'm wrong#don't test me i'll cry#not bc of u i'll think about wdo bc it's the only thing that can make me cry but i'll blame it on u
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Just...a thread where Dev can hear Dale's thoughts asdfghjkl
#ooc tag#《 i feel like it has potential to be both funny and sad 》#《 dale overthinking the simplest things because he can NOT afford to mess up 》#《 even though he's messing up big time without him realizing it 》#《 i love writing dale to be a pathetic mess of a man 》#《 worrying about a 10 year old thinking he's cringe for...daring to say hi to him when he comes home from school 》#《 my dale is so starved for connection 》#《 bc he can't conceptualize that his son doesn't see him the way he sees himself 》#《 and even if he could dale would have no idea where to start 》#《 and the fear of failure makes him hesitant to take a risk by trying to reach out 》#《 something about pulling the curtain in front of dev and letting him see this side to his dad he never gets to see intrigues me 》#《 like seeing how it affects dev's perception of dale 》#《 whether or not dale's anxieties about dev losing respect for him have any merit or not 》#《 very spaced out rn so i don't know if I'm getting my point across very well 》
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