#bc that's a new thing i have been encountering lmao

[safyresky]

Some fun, unsolicited writing advice below the cut:

ok so one of the things I've been doing lately when idk what to write/when something sounds wrong is like, for example, a sentence feels like it's missing something? I make a lil break and add notes in brackets:

[Image ID: A snip of a section of Crystal Springs reading: "I enjoyed it," Jacqueline replied. [some flowery line about silence and such before...] "UGH," Jacqueline groaned, turning on her heel. "We've tried EVERYTHING,"she said, thrusting her hands out below her, pacing back and forth. End Image ID].

And keep going! And then later when I finish the chapter and read back, that turns into:

[Image ID: the same snip from Crystal Springs, now reading: “I enjoyed it,” Jacqueline replied. The wind blew, groaning loudly as the two sprites stared at the Dome. Hems were ruffled; snowy tresses blown back gently. The silence stretched between them. “UGH,” Jacqueline finally shouted, breaking the silence and turning on her heel. “We’ve tried EVERYTHING,” she continued, thrusting her hands out below her, pacing back and forth. End ID].

I may still edit a bit, but like. I love the square brackets trick man. It fucking WORKS

[vanishingstarrs]

pancakes for dinner ( k bakugo x nurse!reader, pro hero era, established relationship, just soft and pure vibes, down bad bakugo aka my boyfie fr, slight smut at the end, NSFW, minors DNI ) ( guysss i’ve been so sick and i’ve been suffering having to work still bc #hispanic we ain’t eva allowed to call out )): i’ve been wanting to write please please please x bakugo but haven’t had the energy, meantime hope y’all enjoy this little fic <3 just wholesome mushy stuff for y’all but then it turned smutty at the end because why not lol also i’m pretty new to writing explicitly so pls lmk how it came out !! idk if i'll do that again lmao we shall see i guess )

You were exhausted.

Mentally and physically.

Work had been a tad overwhelming lately, with extra things being piled onto your already heavy workload after a big merger between two of Japan’s biggest hospitals, which in turn caused a lot of people to be let go. Not only had it been stressful wondering whether you’d make the cut or not after a “re-interview”, but when you learned that you had been accepted you’d also been asked if you could take on a few extra duties.

You had never been one to back down from work, always taking initiative and being happy to help any one of your coworkers that might need it.

Lately though, it seemed every single person needed help. Your coworkers, your patients, and if it wasn’t those two then it was your boss asking if you could help her with management duties that had nothing to do with the extra work you’d been assigned to do on top of everything else.

You were sick and tired.

Your muscles cried out as you pushed your apartment door open and immediately kicked off your shoes, groaning as you bent down in order to place them onto the shoe stand. You were sure you heard your back crack as you stood straight once more to hang your purse and keys.

You didn’t bother unpacking the lunch you never got time to eat, leaving the bag you packed it in tied up and in the fridge before heading into your bedroom and immediately shedding your scrubs. You hated doing skincare, but thought about how dirty your face must be after dealing with so many patients and dragged yourself into the bathroom to get it over with.

By the time you were finished doing everything, your body was begging you to lay down for just a minute.

A little power nap never hurt, you told yourself as you fell onto your bed face first and sighed. You hugged your pillow to your aching body and allowed yourself to relax for just a little while.

Though “a minute” quickly turned into three hours as the sun went down and the night sky pulled you further into dreamland.

You didn’t hear the front door open or close, you didn’t stir when your boyfriend started removing his hero equipment, much less wake when those heavy gauntlets he somehow wore all day hit the floor or when his pounding footsteps carried across the hardwood as he made his way to your shared bedroom to check on you.

You missed the brief smirk on his face as he found you lying on his side of the bed, on your right side with a leg propped up for comfort.

Katsuki knew how hard you’d been working lately with the merger between the two hospitals and how stressed it made you. With him working as a hero, he encountered many people that wound up needing to go to the hospital. On top of that, you also had all the other sick people that hadn’t been involved in some villain attack. You likely dealt and saved more people in a single day than he did in a month, he knew this, he was proud of the fact, actually, and incredibly proud of you.

He was damn lucky to have you.

And for all these reasons, he was happy to see you rest for a bit.

He’d often come home late and find that you’d already done all the cleaning around the house, as well as meal prep for both you and him, and still found the time to bake desert on top of making him dinner. You went above and beyond in all aspects of your life, often even calling and checking up on his parents when he hadn’t done so in too long. He’d receive texts from his mother scolding him and making sure he was taking good care of you the way she knew you did him, he swore you were the favorite and he understood why you were.

Everyone loved you.

He adored you.

Except he hadn’t been doing his part as well as he should be lately.

And so, while you slept, he quietly changed into some loungewear before carefully shutting the bedroom door closed behind him.

He tried his hardest to be quiet as he went around cleaning up throughout the house, he swept, he steam mopped the floors (and prayed he didn’t miss a spot), he did your laundry, took your work shoes and scrubbed them clean for your next workday, he took your old lunch and tossed it out before setting to work on preparing you something delicious for tomorrow.

Being in the kitchen was actually soothing for him, he liked being able to experiment with recipes and different things for you to try. He hated that he hadn’t made the time to recently. He cooked enough dinner to pack lunch for both you and him, then last minutely decided that you’d definitely want something sweet when you woke up and pulled out the ingredients to make pancakes from scratch.

You liked it best when you had pancakes for dinner, not breakfast.

He was extremely pleased when they turned out light and fluffy just the way you liked them and he set out to cut up some fruit for you to put on top, making sure everything was ready before heading back to your shared room.

Katsuki was less quiet this time around, as he slid into bed next to you. He propped himself up on his elbow as he buried his fingers into your hair and gently scratched your scalp.

You were exhausted, and likely wouldn’t have woken up if not for him leaning over and placing kisses from your neck all the way up to your ear. You felt his hot breath as he whispered for you to please wake up, which made you groan softly.

You’d yet to open your eyes, but who else would it be? You asked,“Katsuki?”

“Made you food, baby, c’mon, I saw you didn’t eat your lunch, you gotta put somethin’ in your belly.” He explained as he removed his hand from your hair and lifted the material of your shirt to rub up and down your stomach, you felt him inch closer to your chest before stopping himself and tugging your tank top back down to your waist.

You turned toward him, quickly finding the divet in between his shoulder and neck to plant your face in. You were barely awake, not really comprehending what he was trying to say.

“Missed you.” You relaxed further into him.

“Missed you so much, sweets.” You felt him kiss your forehead,“Hate to pull you from bed, but you really gotta open your eyes for me.”

You did as he asked, smiling as his face came into view, lit up by the soft light streaming in from the hallway. “Hi, honey.” You managed to get out as he smushed your cheeks (cuteness aggression) and placed three kisses onto your nose.

You grinned as he said hi back and repeated that he’d cooked for you.

You beamed, you hadn’t had his cooking in a while, but didn’t exactly make a move to get up from bed. It wasn’t until he revealed that he’d made you pancakes, that had you up in seconds.

He chuckled as he followed you down the hall, lightly smacking your butt as you happily made your way through the apartment. You turned to him with surprise,“You cleaned too?”

“Course.” He scoffed as he tugged on your hand and sat you down at your small table that sat four people max. “I’d do it more if you didn’t always beat me to everything, I was thinking I should be doing a bit more around here anyway.”

“I can handle it.” You said, like always.

He rolled his eyes as he brought over the plate he’d prepared for you.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t, I’m just saying you don’t have to give a hundred percent every day, you know? You could give me thirty and I’d be more than happy to give the remaining seventy.” He began to explain,“I wanna take care of you too, and that starts by you not doing everything.”

You silently watched him cut up your pancakes before placing some fruit onto them and drizzling maple syrup all over, he gave you tea to drink and pulled his chair closer to you while you ate.

He ran his fingers through your hair again as you told him all about your day before asking about his and what time he’d gotten home. He let you feed him a couple bites of food and you snagged a few extra kisses each time you lied and told him he had syrup on his face.

When you finished, he asked if you’d like a bit of real food, claiming he wanted you nice and full. You agreed, happy to eat what he’d prepared.

You were less tired now, satisfied with your belly full and sitting with your lover as he recalled a story about retrieving someone’s lost kitten in a tree. You laughed at the classic save and felt your mental load becoming lighter the more the minutes went on.

After eating, the pampering continued.

Katsuki demanded you allow him to run you a bath, and he quickly made the bathroom up with a few candles. He set up a movie for you to watch on your laptop as he came into the room with you and offered to wash your hair. You requested he get in with you then, and he obliged quickly, taking his time when it came to massaging his hands through your hair and pressing kisses against your back at every opportunity. He held you against his chest as you relaxed into him.

You honestly started to get sleepy again.

And then it was ripped away from you once more as Katsuki led you to bed, not to sleep, but to have you spread out against the mattress for him to plaster his tongue against you and demand he get his dinner now.

“Wanna take care of you.” He’d said.

He quickly had you squirming and writhing underneath his touch and the feel of his fingers inside as he worked you until completion. He sung you praises about how hard you’d been working lately, telling you how you deserved this and more, as well as making sure you knew how good you always did for him.

“One more, baby.” He begged.

One more turned into two then three, and by the time he finally lined himself up to your entrance you were spent. He worshipped your body, kneading your breasts and holding one of your hands back so you couldn’t hide how flushed your face had become from not just his compliments, but from the way he fucked you.

“Katsuki,” You moaned,“Close.” Again.

“Cum with me, baby, please.”

The movement of his hips was starting to get sloppy, but neither of you noticed through the haze. He whined in your ear as you latched onto his back with your hands and wrapped your legs around his waist, your walls squeezed him and he moaned one last time as he got lost in euphoria. He didn’t make a move to remove himself as he pressed his sweaty forehead against your own and kissed your cheek and then your neck and then your collarbone, making a line all the way down to your bellybutton.

He occupied himself with making sure you stayed awake despite your eyes being closed as you attempted to catch your breath, he sucked hard enough to leave a few marks along your chest and before you knew it you started to feel him become hard inside of you again.

Your eyes snapped open as you gave him a look.

Katsuki smirked as he rubbed your hip and stole your mouth briefly,“Gotta make sure you’re nice and full, baby, one more time f’me, please?”

“You’re insatiable.” You told him.

And yet, how could you say no to him when he looked at you that way?

It was a good thing you’d taken that nap earlier, especially now that your body would soon be aching for a different reason.

[robinofgothamcity]

"so i cry and i pray for you to love me, love me, say that you love me."

♡ character: damian wayne x reader

♡ pronouns used: she / her

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / hiiii ik i haven't updated in a while but like life bro lmao anyway im trying to find a new job bc a bitch needs money so like big girl stuff happening around here anywayyyyyy here is a blurb/drabble thing i kinda made it up on the fly so sorry if it's shitty

your rose gold dress was dragging against the floor as you were going around from league member to league member introducing yourself on the behalf of black canary. the annual JLA gala was one with a bunch of uppity superheroes and their sidekicks trying to get on everyone's good side which did not interest you at all.

your domino mask was not comfortable at all, nevertheless, it clashed with your very expensive dress. you knew dinah would have liked you to make your rounds with everyone but you were not interested in making friends with anyone that you weren't with usually.

you had been looking for jon or jaime but you figured that they must have gotten dragged around the gala by batman or even superman for things they didn't want to do themselves.

as you approached the snack table, you noticed the R patch standing right in front of you. you had yet to met the infamous robin and although you figured that batman was going to need your assistance in the teen titans one day in the not so distant future, you assumed that your first encounter with the boy wonder would be there.

you handed robin the drink he was looking for and smiled, "figured it beat having to reach across the table for it," the boy gave you a smirk, instantly making your face warm up, "(sidekick name) right? canary's righthand woman?" you nodded, "interesting way of meeting each other," you replied.

robin chuckled as you heard jaime finally scream your name frantically from the other side of the room, "sorry for cutting this short, duty calls when your dumbass best friend is calling for you," you stated as you grabbed your dress and darted to where jaime was.

damian swirled his drink around for a moment before grabbing his phone. he knew bruce hated when he was on his phone but he never thought that canary's sidekick was this....cute. damian also knew everyone's name, no thanks to bruce, so he knew it wasn't going to be too difficult to retrieve your information.

damian had found your instagram which was public and immediately scrolled through it. he found what was normal for girls your age. pictures with you and your sorority friends in some and others showed pictures of you and your family.

as damian continued to scroll he noticed the eye twitch he'd get when he saw a photo of you and a guy friend with his hand a bit too tight on your upper thigh. he knew that he didn't have any reason to get even slightly jealous, however; it wasn't a secret that whatever damian liked he eventually got.

he chuckled at the picture he saw of you looking up at dinah as you hugged her with a simple heart as the caption. damian knew that you weren't stupid enough to give off any real connection that you had to dinah but he figured that you must've wanted to appreciate for taking you under her wing.

damian made his way to where you were with jaime, bart, jon, and a few others. you were leaning against the bar, having a beer with jaime and jon as jon was the first to notice him.

"hey robin, fancy seeing you here with the rest of us mere mortals," he joked. it wasn't very common to see damian with the rest of the titans and young justice team. he was usually glued to batman's side as it was his duty to fulfill any questions he had of his own but he figured that since had taken an interest with you, one night like this wouldn't be so bad.

jon followed damian's eye trajectory and chuckled in amusement.

"shooting for the big leauges, huh?" jon asked. damian looked over to him so he could elaborate, "canary's sidekick is a very popular girl to say the least. the media loves her, i can't begin to explain how man lovesick letters i've had to sort through from her fans, and the league themselves love her. plus, i've noticed that a lot of our teammates are very interested in getting to know her, if you get what i'm saying."

damian scoffed, "and i'm damian wayne so lets see how that fairs for everyone else," jon knew damian was as cocky as they came but he knew that his confidence was on another level and what he wanted he usually got whether it meant getting his hands dirty for it or not.

the lights in the roomed had dimmed as he noticed that you were now by yourself with a wine glass between your fingers. damian fixed his tie as jon dusted his best friends shoulders off in encouragement. jon was always ready to support his best friend in anyway that he could even if that meant slightly sabotaging his other friend's chances with you in the process.

you were sipping your red wine as damian approached you cooly, "hey robin! nice seeing you again!" he smiled slightly as he took your cheap wine and set it on the table and handed another one for you to tase, "a red wine from napa, 1909 to be specific," your eyes widened as you took a sip.

"it's slightly bitter but it's pretty good," you replied as you took another drink, "thank you for this, i didn't think i'd be getting any kind of drinks from anyone tonight," you added on.

damian put his shoulder against the wall as he noticed how he practically towered over you, "do you think i could have this dance with you?" he asked as he heard the next song start to play.

you were shocked to say the least.

you knew how hard it was to get on robin's good graces and you had practically done nothing to achieve it. the song was slow and he took your hand softly as he led you to the dance floor.

thankfully, the room was dark enough to where others wouldn't notice that it was him dancing, "thank you for asking me. i didn't think i was interesting enough to get a dance from thee boy wonder tonight," damian laughed, "the pleasure is all mine. i didn't think canary had such an interesting protege,"

"i can't say i'm that interesting, i'm still working my way up the league ladder," you replied. damian scoffed, "it won't take long to make you an official hero," he stated, "with someone of your strength and abilities alone, i can imagine you'll be called up in no time."

you giggled excitedly as damian spun you around and had you face him but closer now, "but before that happens i guess i'll teach you the ropes," he whispered, "and can i ask what that might include?" you asked.

damian lifted your chin and stared at you with his emerald eyes.

"i think i can give you a taste test before the exam approach."

damian was never this straight forward, especially when it came to other league members and their sidekicks but he knew what jon said was correct. it didn't take an idiot to realize how loved you were by everyone and he knew his competition, mainly jaime and connor, could easily win you over so he did the only thing he knew to do in a situation like this, act like his playboy billionaire father as much as he could and from what he could tell, he was on the right track.

[alpineglow]

do you think you could write for Yelena Belova x reader Sharing their first kiss?

ofc!! I adore a cute little fluff fic like this, they are DELECTABLE!! also I hope y'all enjoy the fact that all my fic titles are Taylor lyrics, idk why I always love people who have super cohesive title themes. Also sorry if this is OOC or anything! I wrote this all in one go at like 10pm LMAO.

The First Kiss, It's Flawless

Ship: Yelena Belova x Reader Word Count: ~1.8k Description: Yelena's got a crush on you. She wants it to be perfect. Who better to ask than her older sister? (Spoiler: Many people are better to ask) A/N: NOTHING BUT SILLY ROMANTIC FUN FOR MY GIRLS BC THEY DESERVE THE WORLD

Masterlist

11:30am, Manhattan

"Natasha, I'm being serious," Yelena groans, shoving her face into her hands. Her sister was sat next to her on the edge of her bed, awkwardly patting Yelena on the back. When her sister asked for help, and to come to her Brooklyn apartment as soon as possible, the last thing she expected it to be for was romantic struggles.

"And I'm being serious too! You just go with the flow," Natasha says, sighing softly as her free hand pinches her brow.

"That's easy for you to say! Maria asked YOU out!" Yelena was definitely growing more frustrated, owed to the way she flopped her body back onto her bed and pulled a pillow over her face. Natasha rolls her eyes, pulling the pillow away. She earned herself a few daggers glared in return.

"Yelena, Y/N is sweet. The worst they can say is no."

"That's what you and everyone else say! I can think of so many worse things that could-"

There it was, the list of reasons she couldn't take the leap about to tumble forth. Natasha knew it all too well. It was incredibly impressive how in every other aspect of their lives, Yelena led with her head held high. This was a vast departure from that. So, with a sigh, Natasha stood up, stretching, and grabbing her keys and phone from the bed.

"What are you doing?" Yelena asked hastily, pushing herself up onto her elbows.

"Going to play matchmaker." It was a simple plan, really. Feign confused sibling, apologise if it wasn't the case. Easy operation, in and out. To Yelena though, it wasn't.

"Are you out of your mind?" Thankfully, the door was shut, meaning Yelena's shout didn't have the chance to escape the room and echo down the hallways of the apartment building.

"No- Seriously, you have nothing to freak out about! I figure it out for you, and make the opening!"

Before Yelena could object, Natasha was out of the door.

---

Natasha had asked to meet you at some nondescript coffee shop by Central Park. It wasn't out of the ordinary, meeting an Avenger in some otherwise innocuous location. Unlike other times though, this did seem like a genuine encounter. When you arrived, Natasha was already sat outside, with two coffees on a wire table.

"Hey, Nat! It's been a while!"

You'd been friends with the redhead for nearing a decade now - working with the Avengers as an intelligence officer on several occasions. On the third or fourth time, Natasha had taken a shining to you, and the pair of you became close friends.

Being close friends, she had, of course, gotten your coffee order dead on. It was a welcomed warmth in the late winter in New York.

"How've you been, Y/N?" she asks, taking a swig of her coffee. From there, the conversation flowed naturally, as if you'd seen each other yesterday. It was nice, pleasant even. You felt yourself relax into it, smiling as the odd joke came to light.

"Hey, do you mind if I ask you something?"

You furrow your brow, nodding.

"Of course?"

"Forgive me, if I'm overstepping, but I couldn't help but notice- You and Yelena? Are you two-"

A blush blooms across your face, and up your neck. You try and hide it with a sip of your coffee, but you fail miserably, choking slightly.

"What? Oh- No! No, no, no. We're just friends." You laugh nervously, coughing a few times. When you finally meet Natasha's eyes, there's a good natured humour in them. And, obviously, she had seen right through you.

"Is it that obvious?" you say, a frown meeting your expression. You'd thought you had been subtle.

"Afraid so," Natasha replies. This was good news, great news for her sister. An idea sparked though. She'd have to beg Yelena for her forgiveness though.

"You know... Yelena's free this Friday night."

Your brow furrows.

"I don't follow?"

Natasha laughs, setting her empty coffee cup on the table.

"Ask her on a date. I promise it'll go well."

Things clicked into place for you, and you roll your eyes. This was a double agent case. But that meant Yelena liked you back... Oh my god. You reach into your pocket, pulling out your phone.

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

"Hey! I had to play it cool, in case you didn't like her. Would've been really awkward if I was straight up and you weren't into her."

You couldn't argue with that logic. Finally, you find Yelena's contact on your phone, and type up a quick message.

Are you free Friday?

There's a short delay, albeit a touch too short, before Yelena responds.

Yes. Are you suggesting something?

How about a movie at mine? 7pm. Keep it casual. Like a casual date.

Yelena takes a little longer to respond this time. You hear Natasha's phone ding, and look up in time to see her laugh.

"She just called me a motherfucker."

---

Friday came all too quickly, and you found your palms sweating. You're not sure why. Your intentions had been perfectly clear when you messaged Yelena and asked her out. She knew what this was, and you did too. And it wasn't like you didn't know her - you'd warmed up to each other quite quickly once Natasha had introduced you both. Being closer in age to the younger of the sisters would do that.

To top it all off, you already had Natasha's approval. So there was nothing to be afraid of, right?

It was just you and Yelena, in your living room, watching a film.

Romantically.

Not as friends. Very very not as friends.

The microwave beeped from your kitchen, yelling at you that the popcorn had finished.

God, what am I doing?

The microwave opens with a thud when you pull the handle, grabbing the popcorn by the very corner. Holding it over the sink, you shake it a few times to disperse the butter, and get the kernels out. Fondly, you remembered it was Yelena who'd actually taught you that trick.

Finally, you dump it into a large bowl, and take it over to the living room. Netflix was already pulled up. You hadn't yet settled on what film to watch, and you'd be damned if you picked it on your own. Risk her not liking it. On your first date. The very thought sent a shudder through you.

You couldn't linger on it for too long, because the doorbell rung.

"Fuck! 7pm already," you whisper-shout to yourself, carefully dodging around the couch to get to the front door. Habitually, you look through the peephole. You're greeted with a fisheye view of the blonde, and open the door.

"Yelena! Hey!"

Why the fuck are you saying that like you didn't expect to see her. You literally invited her here.

Thankfully, she looked as nervous as you felt. Yelena smiled though, holding up a bag of M&M's.

"Hi. I brought these! Makes popcorn better," she said. "Can I come in?"

"Oh! Yea, of course, sorry!" you jumble out, stepping out of her way. You lock the door behind her as you close it, and follow her as she's already made her was to the living room.

"I didn't know what you wanted to watch, but I made popcorn!"

You're nervously fidgeting with your hands, surveying the living room situation. There were plenty of blankets, and pillows. The coffee table was in reach, with popcorn, and the new bag of M&Ms. You're too busy worrying to catch the soft look Yelena sends your way.

"We can pick off of your Letterboxd, don't you have that watch list? Movies are more your thing," she jokes, settling down with a pillow and blanket in the corner.

You agree, pulling out your phone and settling on the lounge. You're a little too tense, and sitting an almost awkward distance away from her. Not quite in her space, but not quite in yours either. You rattle off a few titles, and don't notice her creeping nearer until a hand rests on your forearm. You look at her.

"How about that one?" she asks, pointing to a movie poster on your phone. You become aware of how close she is.

"Yea... That'll work."

---

It'd happened almost 20 minutes ago now, but your knee was touching Yelena's under the blanket. It felt like electricity arcing up your body when it first happened, but now it had settled to a soft warmth. A pleasant warmth.

When the end credits rolled, Yelena stayed still for a while. Wrapped up in a blanket, leant against the armrest of the sofa.

"Wow. That was a good movie. Good taste," she said, sitting up. You liked the way her accent wove the words together. It made such a simple statement feel like the highest praise.

"Yea!" you say, standing up to take the bowl to the kitchen. "I'm glad I got to watch it with you." It's a tad sappy, but you meant it. Couldn't hurt to say on a first date.

"Do you know what time it is?" she asks from the living room, where she'd rolling up the blanket she had used. Your eyes stray to the microwave, which reads 10:30pm. You relay that information to her.

"Your place is pretty far away... I have a guest room you can use?"

"My my! Getting me to stay the night on our first date, that's very bold."

If she were anyone else, and if you'd known her for any less time, you would've panicked. A faux pas, and you would've passed out. But you could spot the jest in her tone. When you come back to the living room, she's smiling.

"I'd actually really appreciate that," Yelena says. Her tone is lower than before; more authentic. More tender. Simply more.

"Thank you for coming tonight." She looks at you, regarding you with a warmth that went just a step beyond friendship. A new dash of vulnerability.

Her hand rests on your outer forearm that's by your side. It was a sweet touch, an innocent one, too. But it felt perfect. Everything in this moment felt right, and you felt at ease.

"Can I kiss you?" Yelena asks. If you listened closely enough, dissected it with the proverbial knife, there was a touch of fear in her tone. You hadn't heard it, though.

Rather than answering, you lean forward, capturing her lips in yours. Like everything else, it felt right. It was chaste, and didn't last long enough. But for now it would be enough. It was more a promise. A beckoning call forward, a waiting hand.

Yelena's smiling when you pull away. You find yourself smiling too.

You show her to her room for the evening, and before you go to return to your own, you call out behind you.

"Night, Yelena!

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Hope y'all enjoyed! Like I said, I wrote this in one take at night, so forgive any mistakes! Requests are open!!

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura Haruno fic recs: Akatsuki/missing-nin

Okay, so I actually love the akatsuki so much. They were genuinely such good characters with really interesting storylines and powers. The whole akatsuki arc/repression was quite rushed imo and many of the wins from the fights felt a little unwarranted, but that's not too unusual in Naruto...

Anyway, this list is set to include fics where Sakura is either in the akatsuki or akatsuki members (excluding itachi bc that's literally any non-mass) play a large role in the story or Sakura just somehow lands herself being a missing-nin. From my experience, it's hard to find fics of this type without it being some sort of harem, which is not what I'm interested in, so here are some that I recommend!

Started: 2024.09.28

Last Updated: 2024.09.30

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

---

Vertigo - Cynchick || ffn || M || deisaku || akatsuki AU || complete

Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under? DeiSaku.

I made this list literally just so I could recommend this fic lmao. Sakura takes on the mission to infiltrate the akatsuki, ruining her reputation and destroying her friendships in the process. Due to a brief encounter she had with Deidara, Sakura is allowed into the ranks and joins as his new partner. Their relationship is actually quite sweet and I think it's interesting to see things from Deidara's perspective as although he was very explosive (haha) in Naruto, he is also quite intelligent and a very capable shinobi.

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Ankle Biter - a_pastel_edgelord || ao3 || E || gen || missing-nin AU || ongoing

“Pinkie, attack.” Sakura's teeth tear through skin and tendons until they meet. Her mouth fills with blood but she doesn't let go. The screaming of her victim washes over her like water. “Sorry about her.” Haku shrugs. “She's always been a bit feral.” The only family Sakura has are Zabuza and Haku.

Sakura is just another orphan picked up by Zabuza. With him and Haku being all she has, it results in her dependance and desperation to prove herself to them, but now that they're in wave it opens her eyes to something new. I really like how the relationship they have is portrayed as even though they are her family, it is obvious that Zabuza isn't as hung up on the matter, which feels quite realistic to his character.

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New Day Dawning - IncompleteSentanc (Erava) || ao3 || narusaku || T || canon divergence || complete

One day, while visiting the grave of Nohara Rin, Obito stumbles across a young girl terrifyingly like her. He decides to ensure she doesn’t meet the same fate.As for Sakura? Sakura had no idea what she was awakening the day she went to visit her parents graves - but she never looked back. One way or another.(Feat. Sakura raised by Obito and the Akatsuki, and her eventual return to Konoha and all those she left behind)

Sakura is brainwashed and manipulated, but loved by notorious killers nonetheless. Incredibly well written and I won't lie when I say that the ending took me a bit by surprise. Just read it

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One Change in the Story - Aingeal98 || ffn || T || gen || time travel AU || incomplete

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was only supposed to go back five minutes in time. Instead, Sakura wakes up in a dark room surrounded by people wearing black cloaks with red clouds on them. The worst part? She doesn't have a clue who she is.

Praying for One Change in the Story to be completed!! Sakura lands herself back in time with the mind and body of her four year old self. With Pein being the first one to find her, Sakura's new life purpose is to be the Akatsuki's weapon. Sakura slowly loses herself to her new roll and in a sense becomes the embodiment of a ROOT agent. It was interesting to see Itachi's internal battle with the situation and Konan's guilt. However, even with Sakura bound to Ame, there are children back in Konoha who have an itch that a pink-haired girl named Sakura is someone important.

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Old Man by the Bar - Varmint || ao3 || T || gen || academy AU || complete

All it took was one school teacher's decision for the reality of Konoha to be altered in a way that no one could have imagined. Follow Kiba Inuzuka, Sakura Haruno, and Chouji Akimichi as they grow as individuals, friends, and ninja. All with the help of that grumpy old man with all of the cool war stories.

AHHHH READ THIS!!! For some reason I thought this fic was a school AU for the longest time and only got around to reading it recently and I'm so glad I did. It's set back in the academy where Sakura, Choji, and Kiba get grouped together for a project on the shinobi wars. The three misfits end up encountering Kakuzu who tells them a tale of his time fighting. They have so much character development and although they weren't originally happy about their predicament, they grow to look past each other's fronts and form a close bond.

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Expedient - SwiftKick || ffn || T || canon AU || complete

Konoha and Iwa sign a truce and agree to an Exchange Program between recently promoted genin to "bolster village relations." Fortunately, if anything were to go wrong, Haruno Sakura was just average enough to risk losing.

Sakura gets sent on an exchange to train in Iwa just to find out her sensei is only a few years older and a bit obsessed with his explosive art... It's interesting to see how she struggles both in Iwa and back in Konoha as Sakura is as good as an outsider in both villages. Expedient is an all time favorite of mine and I didn't have high expectations going into it, but this fic is truly great. Deidara is such a fun character and I really enjoyed Sakura's growth.

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Stumble - writer168 || ao3/ffn || gen || T || time travel AU || complete

Sakura wanted to die.Sasori was fine with staying dead.But it seemed fate had other plans for them, because when they both wake up younger with blood pulsing through their veins, they had to remember how to live again.Time Travel AU

Sasori and Sakura are both sent back in time and they try to make a difference in their respective villages. Told in the perspective of both characters, but primarily Sakura. She ends up forming a pretty sweet bond with Ibiki and Genma (which I love) and they help her through some things. Sakura has a rough time

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Will of Fire - Cynchick || ffn || M || kakasaku || missing-nin AU || complete

Forced to flee their village and the new regime, the loyal shinobi of Konoha must find a way to preserve their way of life and take back their home. As they fight for their future, Team Seven struggles to overcome the past. KakaSaku

When Danzo overthrows konoha, shinobi fled in hopes of escaping their death and the cruel reign. Sakura and many others go into hiding as missing-nin and plan on how they will reclaim their village. I love this author, and they actually have many fics that would fit on this list, but trust me when I say the writing is truly great. Sakura grows a lot as a shinobi and broadens her fighting style out of desperation for survival and I love it. The characters are all really well done, so just give it a go!

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Dirt and Ashes, or: The One-and-a-Half Body Problem - Tozette || captured || gen || M || canon divergent || complete

The invasion of Konoha during the chuunin exam didn't fail. Team seven is broken, people are dead, and Sakura is hurt and frightened and a very long way from home.Alternative summary: In which Sakura carries half of Hidan across two countries, leaving a trail of blood, bodies, and other people's legs.

Super gory story about Sakura's journey with the cranky and absent legged Hidan. Dirt and Ashes is very popular and it's for good reason.

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final exams coming up! - waterpllar || ao3 || gen || M || captured || complete

Kakuzu can name numerous reasons why Hatake Kakashi could make him an excellent profit, most of which involve the numerous organizations he's sabotaged. Specific figures would certainly be willing to pay very well for free reign to relieve their violent frustrations on one of the most notorious jounin in the Bingo books.Such a business would only function with a healer on hand, but it just so happens that a vast majority of shinobi teams have a healer, and there is a pink-haired genin without a bloodline limit or bijuu on the team.What he did not anticipate is that the Copy-nin's teaching might be so remiss that he hadn't trained said genin in any iryo-ninjutsu whatsoever. Kakuzu does not like making oversights, and he decides to remedy this fact immediately (unluckily for sakura).

Kakuzu captured Sakura and Kakashi in an attempt to make money (of course) off of Kakashi's many enemies and Sakura is forced to learn medical ninjutsu in order to keep him alive. Although this is marked as complete and could be considered that to those who read it, the ending is not very conclusive tbh (I wanted more).

Edit: ok this actually just got updated even though it’s marked as complete, so ig it’s still ongoing?? Maybe???

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Your childhood home is just powder-white bones (and you'll never find your way back) - Dovey || ao3 || gen || M || captured || complete

Sasuke is not the only one who worries he's getting too comfortable in his genin life. Itachi decides to add another motivator to Sasuke's revenge plans by kidnapping the teammate who wasn't a charismatic Jinchuriki. Sakura is used to being an objective for those around her, not a person, but even for her this is a little much.In which Sakura is held captive and learns what a genjutsu specialist can do to a person's mind, that sharks can actually make great friends, joins a dying clan, and gets regifted multiple times before she's finally strong enough to fight back.*while this fic contains explicit and graphic torture, there's no sexual assault.

Okay, this was actually a really hard read for me. We truly see Sakura's decline in this as she slowly loses her mind and it is very frustrating to see what has happened to her. Nonetheless, it is extremely well written and great is you want something dark.

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Shinra Tensei - multifandom_fanfic_writer || ao3 || T || itasaku || akatsuki AU || complete

With renewed determination, Sakura stepped forward. She passed the guards, who waved at her absently. She smiled, filled with elation as her foot crossed the threshold of Konoha’s gate. She would no longer blindly follow orders. She would no longer be part of the corrupted system. Sakura felt no grief, nor regret. As of today, the old Haruno Sakura didn’t exist anymore. She would be a new person. And she would be one of the greatest. - The world of shinobi is a harsh one, filled with blood and death. Sasuke dies, and Team 7 is left scattered. Sakura’s loyalty to Konoha wavers until it breaks. Determined to find a better purpose, Sakura sets out to figure out how to live in a world where morality is merely a line in the sand. But her path is soon changed when she is summoned – by the leader of the Akatsuki.

I actually have not read Shinra Tensei, but it is quite popular, so I thought I would recommend it if any of you are interested.

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Hoshigaki - writer168 || ao3 || M || gen || sakura is kisame's daughter AU || complete

When Sakura was three, her father told her he was a criminal. When she was seven, the last thing she saw of him was the sword on his back. When she was eight, she had a friend named Kiba. When they were twelve, they met Shino. And when they were genin, they began to fight for the truth because they could no longer fight for the sake of Konoha.

Perhaps one of the more interesting AUs out there as Sakura is actually the daughter of Kisame! Definitely shines a different light on the village and is such a great story (even has a sequel).

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life goal: punch a god in the face - itsthechocopuff || ao3 || T || gen || time travel AU || incomplete

Fist poised to punch a goddess. A glare from opalescent eyes. A flicker of chakra. Sakura’s fist met Kaguya’s face at the same time her vision went black. When she woke up, it was to find herself twenty years in the past, with a pair of eyes she’d personally helped shut staring down at her.

Sakura dies and wakes up in Wind country with a young Sasori watching her. Somehow, she ends up agreeing to help him kill the kazekage once he's strong enough and sets off to Konoha where she befriends Kakashi's team.

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I love when y'all send recs! cheers

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E4 Recap and Reaction

- Poor Crosshair keeps getting stuck on cold planets.

- Batcher banging on the chair ready to get out 🤣🤣

- These shuttles are really interesting to me. It’s rare to see a ship that size that can be piloted by two different people.

- Baby girl, I totally understand your logic in wanting to pull the data logs to see where Tantiss actually is, but given how tactful we know Hemlock has been so far in keeping his location hidden, most likely it wouldn’t pull up anything.

- What a dreary spaceport. Feels very Andor and very like Norwegian Star Wars.

- The level of snark that Omega is giving back to Crosshair is cracking me up. We don’t see her showing this level of talking back or being sarcastic with any of the other Batchers, which proves my theory that Crosshair’s constant level of highly annoyed at everything around him brings out the sarcasm in everyone else he encounters.

- Love that his knowledge as a former imperial is coming to play to help them.

- Also love that Omega was the one to recognize that they need different clothes (and the obvious pan of the camera on the clothes hanging on the line in the first shot of the spaceport to accentuate that fact).

- Quilted clothes in Star Wars is my fave (yes more Andor parallels).

- The uplilt and little scoff that Omega gives and the look she gives Batcher after Crosshair snarls about bringing “the hound” along is PRECIOUS

- Also Cross and Omega cross their arms the same way. Okay okay I’ll never be over their dynamic here.

- Crosshair’s trucker hat/scuba apparatus is hilarious. He doesn’t look too bad though. Surely he’s at least warmer now.

- The credits negotiation omg. I love how Cross is just waiting for this to play out before he makes a move.

- YES omg are my baby girls strategy skills FINALLY coming back into play??

- Oh no no no no no this kid is going to rat them out isn’t he. You guys need to be more mindful of your surroundings!! Ahhh (okay I’m glad this didn’t happen).

- Honestly at this point Crosshair would be me as well. Just lots of very annoyed sighing.

- I love that Crosshair is getting to see all the things about Omega that the other boys know already, but he hasn’t had a chance to witness yet. We know she can wipe the floor with most people on strategy games/gambling.

- Yep nope this captain is not good news. Don’t get distracted by ranting about Imperial bribery, don’t do it, don’t….*sigh* I hate the Empire so much.

- Oh no this is so bad! I swear WHY is every imperial such a slimy self aggrandizing POS.

- Aww Crossy hunched down at almost table level ready to tear the room apart if anyone touches his baby sister. Adorable murder kitten. 😸

- Also Crosshair when all of this is over: where the HELL did you learn to gamble like that!?! Omega: 🤷🏻‍♀️😇😁

- Also also what game are they playing? Those cards are beautiful.

- Oh no they’ve found the shuttle already. Dear god this episode is so stressful!!

- CROSS!DAD IS OFFICIALLY CANON lmao

- Okay I was hoping Omega would let him win bc this isn’t going to go over well

- Whoa I didn’t actually expect him to concede. Maybe he’s not quite as slimy as I thought. Doesn’t matter though, the shuttle will give them away regardless.

- Of course. There it is. Let all the seedy businesses thrive as long as you get your fine out of it. Ugh. This is paralleling a lot of imperial activities in Rebel Rising and the Ahsoka novel as well.

- I also love how Omega uses touch with Crosshair to calm him down and communicate with him.

- Whoa I did not expect Omega to throw the credits and basically give Crosshair the choice of abandoning her or not. Nor for him to actually have to think about it for a moment.

- “My skills are being wasted” the boy does not like feeling helpless. I understand.

- This is going to give Cross some understanding of what Hunter has been going through the last few years. Especially if he ends up losing her.

- “Don’t push it” and the extra head shake after lmao.

- Geez this man is just lining his pockets every which way isn’t he. Despicable.

- “Alright, let’s try things your way” “Finally” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- Animal stampede!

- Oh gosh is Cross going to get left behind??

- Aw he finally called her Batcher.

- We are clearly seeing how much Omega has actually been tempered by the rest of the Batchers being around her until now. The unfiltered combined powers of Omega and Crosshair at their most unhinged is maybe more than the galaxy is ready for 🤣🤣

- Also a very Andor reference with the captain being stampeded almost to death and having his gun kicked away from him in the melee

- NO WAY WE FINALLY GET AN IMPERIAL GETTING THEIR DUE BY CREATURE DEATH once again *cough cough* not a kids show

- Awwww Batcher licking Crosshair’s face. He’s so done for.

- They got away. Wow. I actually wasn’t expecting that. And with most of the money too.

- Okay. Smart girl. She did not pick Pabu.

- What an ending. Wow. So. Similar to Mando season 3 (which is also scaring me) — what the heck is the rest of this season going to be about?

- This reunion is everything. 🥹🥹🥹 the hugs. The running. The tears. The worry. The anger. The hesitation. The fear. The literal and metaphorical distance between their ships that someone will have to cross. They better not fast forward a millisecond when the next episode picks up I swear.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

zombie au with ike ft. luxiem - In Pursuit to and from the Sun

(i think this submission got lost in the sauce and i can't find it but at least i still have this screenshot)

lmao sorry i went off the grid for a sec. life happens, you know, applied for some vsf programs, went on a classified operative excursion away from my post and got a new writing software. i actually wrote the last of this on a helicopter returning from the mission so that’s why i didn’t proofread beforehand sorryyyyy. but more importantly I TOUCHED GRASS. guys. i touched so much grass. i touched so much grass i could replant a garden. call me a topiary, i touched that much grass. is this what it’s like to work at a dispensary? bc i touched so much grass

a few disclaimers: this fic is ike centric but contains general luxiem angst as a treat and may be read in a platonic or romantic tone, whichever you prefer. it's also another 10.7k words long so if you want to read but don’t have the time, use a like/rb as a bookmark. most importantly: heed the tags for this one, i kind of went off the deep end here

tags: platonic relationship, hurt no comfort, angst, zombie au, no happy ending, gender neutral reader 

⚠️ major character death, suicidal thoughts, gore, infection, arson, and apocalypse-typical violence

continued au notes and commentary here (spoilers)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Ever since the initial zombie outbreak, you’ve been running around the country with your best friend Ike and the circle of close friends you both share. You’ve made peace with the fact that it will always be hard. You and your band hop around from town to wilds, with no real objective other than to survive. Every location has something to glean, after all. It’s just that the zombies are always on your tail, and there’s only so much looting to do before the chorus of dead can tear you and your family apart.

It’s deluded to pretend you’re the invulnerable main characters, though. You and your friends are in a townhouse currently being ambushed by a strain of zombies. You swear they’ve gotten more intelligent since your last encounter. A dense herd of bloodthirsty undead is one thing, but a dense herd of bloodthirsty undead that have a chance of understanding positioning is another. Closing doors is barely a second of relief now. 

You were lucky to be in a room with Vox when you got ambushed. He lived his post-apocalyptic life with a rebar rod in his hand, wrested from a collapsed concrete building early in during the initial outbreak. He claimed to be a trained swordsman once, and even though the rebar was more of a club than a sword, you admit you would’ve been worse than dead if you didn’t have him by your side. You’re sure he’d be screwed without you, too. Now that the world’s gone to the dogs, you stay prepared with a pair of climbing picks that can clobber in zombie brains just as well as scale walls. Vox shoved zombies out of the way while your picks cleared a path to escape from the house out through the window, Vox in tow.

You and Vox reunite with Ike and Shu outside. The former keeps various kitchen knives hidden under his no-longer white mantle, and defends Shu from stragglers while he digs into his backpack. You notice his weapon, an iron fire poker, by his feet along with a bottle. He rips sheets off of an old Millwall brick to stuff inside the bottle.

“Blowing the place up,” Shu says, in case you didn’t make the connection already. His breath is ragged. “Where’s Luca and Mysta?”

Like a stage cue, you hear the rocket of gunfire the second he says it. Your hope is crushed. Noise attracts zombies, and Luca was the only one with a shotgun. If he pulled the trigger, the situation was even more dire than you thought. 

Shu grits his teeth and repeats himself, intensity barely restrained. “Where is Luca and Mysta.”

“I’m going back in,” Vox declares.

Ike drives a knife into the head of a fallen body. Destroying the brain confirmed they wouldn’t regenerate, and he minimizes the risk as precise as a surgeon. He made short work of the zombies that hadn’t overrun the house yet, but you could see them flood the interior. “Don’t be stupid, Vox, that’s suicide.”

“You heard the gun!”

“And I said that’s suicide!”

“Not if someone goes back in!”

“How are you going to find them without getting yourself killed?” Vox opened his mouth, but no sound came out, and Ike took advantage of it. “That’s what I thought. Luca’s our muscle and Mysta’s a clever guy, you’ve seen him outsmart the zombies so many times before!”

“They know basic organization, Ike!”

“All the more reason not to go back in! Have some faith in your friends!”

Vox grants him an unholy leer through his haunting yellow eyes. “How dare you lecture me about faith when I’m trying to save their lives.”

His glare was lost. Ike focuses on confirming the dead stay dead. His back is turned from the swordsman as he chops a skull in two with a butcher’s cleaver. “Because no matter what, they’re going to get out, and they want you out just as much as they’re fighting.”

But Ike’s words were just as lost to Vox; you barely saw the trail of his blood-splattered haori before he ran back to the townhouse, rebar in hand and fury on display.

Shu shoves the remains of the Millwall brick into the cupholder of his pack, a battering ram for another day. He produces a box of matches instead. “It’s best to take them all out at once.”

You speak up. “But Vox just-”

“I know.” Shu’s lips purse. “And I’m not going to throw them. Not until I know they’re all safe.”

You watch as Vox speared through a living corpse, then threw its remains on the ground. The zombies are centered inside the house, but the windows are all covered. The door stays open as he passes through the threshold, but you can’t see a trace of him left.

Ike stabs through a brain close to you and Shu. You see him heft himself up, and the traces of a permanent dead remain on the ground. The head is split open with precision, and the brain blooms out from the skull. It leaks pink nerves and black rot among the blood, like a disgusting flower. 

He passes by you, dead set on his goal. “You’re not going, Reader.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“And don’t expect to.” Ike’s words are emotionless, but not cold. As much as he pushes away Vox, you know he cares for everyone in your group like brothers. He’s the least risky out of all six of you- after all, he’s tearing apart zombie brains without a complaint while you catch your breath and Shu stands watch.

You draw your climbing picks and follow him to the field of dead. “Let me help you.”

You feel useless just standing there, after all.

Though the task of confirmation is much calmer than fighting for your life, it’s still unenviable, and you have to admire how Ike distances himself seemingly so easily from it. You try not to look at their faces, but that’s just as impossible. After all, the brain is right between the eyes. That’s the worst part. 

You made the mistake of looking into zombie eyes twice in your life. 

The first was your first fight of the apocalypse; a zombie had you deadlocked in an aisle of an outdoors store, and only when it was within biting range did you drum up the courage to grab the first thing you saw- two fluorescent orange climbing picks, never used- and drive them into the writhing heart. You bolted then, too focused on escape than freezing, and those climbing picks proved themselves to be your best survival tool in combat and exploration. 

The second was the first time you confirmed the dead, and those eyes, that face- skin and bone but youthful, blue bleeding through the iris like a cracked yolk, remains of eyeliner and mascara along her deteriorated features- she was a person, so young, so beautiful when she was alive, like she knew she had decades to go- sometimes you swear she’s the face you see at night when you remember how human and how simply unlucky this world is now. It’s simply unlucky, and being unlucky is simply brutal. 

(You held back your tears when you bashed her brain in. Later that night you pulled your best friend Ike aside, and cried in mourning of a woman whose name you never learned. He didn’t complain then, either, and you only sobbed harder when you realized as much as he comforted you, he could never muster up the vulnerability to grieve himself.)

You club a pick into the forehead of the fresh, putrid dead. The other pries it open, and a third swipe pulverizes with finality. 

It’s messy. When you drive your weapons into the skull there’s a crack of metal against bone, and a thin gush of blood that spurts out to your arms. Especially large openings reveal nodules of black rot spotted through the brain. If you focus, you can see the moist, moldy texture seep through the wrinkles of the brain, and if you were any less jaded it’d be enough to make you turn your head and hurl. 

But the deed is done in only three stabs, and you cling onto that fact. The more mechanical the task is, the easier it is to drive yourself to just get it done. Club, pry, pulverize. Club, pry, pulverize. 

You pass by one of Ike’s carvings as you move onto another body. His work is premeditated from habit; he usually does this deed while everyone else recuperates. A standard chef’s knife is his weapon of choice when he faces against zombies, but he keeps a cleaver sheathed to his side when he has the time to get precise. One good slash goes through bone. Bone sweeps through the brain, and the work is done, and he carries on to the next, messy on his mantle but clean in the cut.

There are only a few more bodies left untouched on the yard where you hear heavy steps on the grass and Shu’s voice cry out. “Luca!”

You and Ike snap up. Luca’s blond hair is matted to his face with blood and rot as Vox runs beside him. They look like they ran through a blender of decayed flesh, and considering the herd of dead inside the house, perhaps that isn’t so strange of a metaphor. Even as Luca sprints, he turns to pump shotgun lead to the predators when they get closer, and each corpse’s fall is punctuated by hot gunfire.

Shu calls out his name again frantically. The men return, and so do you and Ike, five missing one. “Luca, where’s Mysta?”

“It’s bloody,” Luca simply says. His breath is short, and he wipes at the mess of gore and hair on his forehead. All it accomplishes is smearing black and red together along his face and in a blotch along his arm. 

“But where is he, I need to know!”

“And it’s so much.” He trails off. He stares into the side of the townhouse and beyond the distance. Strapped to his back is his go-to weapon, a baseball bat littered with nails, each with residue dripping off the spikes from freshly killed zombies. “There’s a lot. Oh, I’m feeling kind of- kind of cold.”

“He’s in shock,” Ike says. He takes Luca’s hand in his, but Luca doesn’t even react. “Oh, Luca. What happened?”

“Kind of a lot?”

“Where’s Mysta?”

“He…” Luca’s eyes dart to the center of the townhouse. “He’s stuck, because of me, isn’t he?”

“Alright, lay off the man.” Vox intervenes. “We’re done asking questions. Shu. Your matches. Light it up.”

“What?!” Shu screams at Vox. You’ve heard him yell, but never once have you heard him scream. Especially not with Vox sounding so detached. “No, are you crazy? Mysta is in there!”

“Light it up, Shu-“

“I said, no! No! No way, not a- not a fucking chance!”

“Shu, listen to me!” Vox thunders. “I’m sorry, but Mysta is gone.”

Shu stands his ground. His features are tense, and his ultraviolet eyes burn holes through the earth. “Not a fucking chance.”

“Mysta is gone,” Vox insists, and you hear his bassy voice break even lower. “I saw it myself.”

“He is not.”

“It was too overrun, it’s miraculous Luca even got out.”

“Mysta,” Luca says, and closes his eyes. Ike holds him upright and rubs his arm, as comforting as he possibly can in the worst situation, as much as possible when his own face is just as distraught as everyone else.

“And I wish with everything that I have that I could’ve gotten him out,” Vox continues, more of his own justification than anyone else. “And I wish I was just a little faster, and that they were a little further away, and, God, that he wasn’t trapped, but he was, and I wasn’t fast enough, I wasn’t close enough…”

Shu is murmuring his own protests to himself at this point, and feeling the pit in your stomach yourself, you reach to hold his hand. He jerks away like you’re made of lava. You feel ill. “You’re lying to me.”

“And he got bit, and he knew that meant death. And he ran, ran upstairs, to draw them away from us, and there were more, and he knew, he knew, he knew he was dead but we weren’t.”

Luca lets his head fall on Ike’s chest. Ike becomes his crutch, and holds him. “Mysta.”

“His distraction saved Luca’s life. And mine if I was slow.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“He was a hero,” Vox says.

“Stop.” Shu’s eyes shut. He looks like stone about to break, paralyzed in denial as the proper grief is setting in. His hands dive and clasp around yours. He’s trembling. You squeeze back. “Don’t talk about him like he’s dead.”

“He was a hero, and our brother, and the sun. Please don’t devalue his sacrifice like that.”

“Oh my god.” Ike interrupts, and his face is paler than the dead. “Oh my god. Oh my god, Luca, don’t look.”

With one hand, he buries Luca’s head into the fabric of his mantle, and with the other, he points to the tallest point of the townhouse. 

You crane your neck up and squint. The townhouse has one window peeking out from the room along one small wall. When you recognize the shapes through the window your legs nearly give out. Startling, saturated, unadulterated horror grips you. You see his hat.

“He’s still alive,” you whisper. “Or he rose. But he’s still surrounded.”

With revived desperation Vox grasps Shu by the shoulders. “Don’t devalue his sacrifice, Shu, you know better than anyone he never wanted to fall victim to that curse. Let him and the rest of the zombies pass on properly, like a hero should. Light the match, please. Please.”

You absorb the chaos as if you weren’t there. You’re detached. Nothing feels real, not even as Ike strokes Luca’s hair, distressed and staring at the window, while Luca is just as distanced as you are. Vox’s heroic resolve shattered as he recounted Mysta’s last moments, and Shu, the smart one out of your group, can’t even function anymore. You knew everyone considered themselves each other’s family, but Shu and Mysta were especially close, and it tears you apart to watch Shu finally grasp the terror of the townhouse ambush. 

Shu lets go of your hands to cover his face. Through the gaps between bloodstained gloves, you can see the sparkle of tears. He’s crying. “This isn’t possible.”

“Do the right thing,” you say. “Do what he would’ve wanted.”

Shu stands so still. He looks up to the sky, as if it could all go back just by an hour. The clouds just kept rolling. 

He picks up a bottle and lights a match.

“This can’t be happening.” A teardrop nearly flicks out the match, but he gathers his strength, and places it by the newspaper wick. The paper flares alive in caution orange.

Shu breathes in. You see his face is scrunched up from crying even as he tries to aim, and it’s like he’s aged years in a matter of minutes. His face has never truly been clean of dirt or gore in weeks, just like the rest of you, but even under the orange fire his eyes go dull. There’s weight under his eyelids, and his mouth is forced into a tight, shaky frown as he exhales.

“I’m so sorry.” Even when it was a zombie Shu always apologized before killing. He treats it as a blessing of what they once were. “I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry it had to be this way.”

Shu throws the molotov. 

You lose track of Mysta’s silhouette as the townhouse goes up in flames.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The death of Mysta Rias was the death of the sun, and the world has been even drearier than the desolate land would have you think. 

Everyone lives on edge frostily. It’s barely been a month since he passed, but the wound hesitates to close. 

Ike is maybe the best adapted to your band of six now as five, but even then you can tell he’s not the same. He’s a champion of reservation. Every sweep of his knives into dead flesh are purposeful, every word spoken is calculated. 

You think back on that night you cried in Ike’s arms the first time you confirmed the dead. You still haven’t seen him cry. Strange, since he was the type to get emotional at sappy movies and video games before the first outbreak. You’re worried, but he insists he can keep it together. To be fair, he’s doing an excellent job at not having a conniption, but the way that he acts so much more emotionally distant isn’t exactly inspiring confidence either.

But Vox, for all he puffs himself up about making sure no man gets left behind and all that heroic junk, hesitates far more than his honed swordsmanship would have you think now that Mysta’s gone. It hasn’t gotten in the way of surviving yet, but you have to wonder when it will. He’s gotten indecisive and requires time to think- great for planning, not so much for a live-or-die fight. 

Luca’s the one that surprises you. You wouldn’t go so far as to call him happy when your band of friends started roaming the country together, but he was good natured, and was the first to pick himself up from a bad scrape. He had a sly, sideways curve to his lips whenever he laughed, but it’s been so long since you’ve heard it that you’re starting to forget the way his skin curves into smile lines. 

He doesn’t smile at all, really. As optimistic Luca was, it was no secret Mysta was the other half of the laughter in your group, and now that Mysta was gone the morale was as well. Luca keeps up his positive attitude as much as he can but it’s rare, and it’s quiet when you see it. 

You notice whenever someone lights the campfire, he’s never around to watch it, and no one makes him do it. You don’t think anyone’s ever talked about it out loud, nor has he ever let himself show it. But when he turns around to feel the warmth, Vox is always to his front, blocking off the bright blazes, and sits by him while he cooks game. You have a theory Vox hasn’t given up his hero complex yet, but for as tense as he gets by the fire Luca hasn’t had a breakdown yet either. Unless things change, you won’t bring it up. Your group has never experienced a loss quite like this in the zombie apocalypse, and all things considered, for as awful as the morale it could be much, much worse.

Speaking of much worse, Shu…

He was a wreck when Mysta passed away, and that’s putting it lightly. When you ran from the remains of the burning townhouse and into a forest, your footfalls were punctuated by Shu’s shortened breaths, and he held back hiccups as you left Mysta behind. By the time Vox figured you were safe from the horde and Ike’s feet gave out from exhaustion, Shu’s eyes were shut tight in disbelief. 

You barely uttered a word to him before he fell back into sobs, and when you offered a hand he threw himself to you. It was disorienting. You always considered Shu the face of serenity and restraint even in your lives before the apocalypse, and after the outbreak he was always the one that could find the best path to follow for the greater good of all six of you. But now there were only five, and the grief was fresh.

But Shu howled. He clawed himself against your chest in inconsolable wails, and his face was contorted, sore and raw red in splotches of unmuted primality, nearly unrecognizable. There was an animal in your arms. Agonized. 

“It’s not possible,” he heaved. His articulation was lost in his eruption. “It can’t be, it can’t be, it can’t be, it can’t be!”

You didn’t have any words to say, and clearly Shu didn’t either. He howled again as his bestial hands clutched around your arm. Nails dug through his gloves and into your skin, and if he clutched you any tighter he’d tear the flesh off the bone straight, a creature of despair. Screaming and howling, and soon enough he was choking on his own spit and the block of mourning in his throat, some ugly peals of tears and snot, and the remains of rot on his hands and blood against the hollows of his ghastly cheek; the ash left in his lungs and the smoke that lingered in his hair, and the flames that licked through his fingers and inside the bottle and outside the glass; the blazes that ate through the wood of the house, the very same hue as his brother’s favorite shirts, his hat, flickering a cycle of brightness and color and roiling heat until he knew the fire had swallowed up what remained of Mysta.

Shu had no choice but to scream. When his throat took away that privilege he mustered up what he could of his vocal chords and churned. All his mouth went dry but he still smacked his tongue against his gums and huffed out seethings and surges of thin breath through gritted teeth, more akin to wheezing than anything else he’d howled but the pure distress gone untouched.

He eventually exhaled himself into an uneasy sleep, but even in sleep his face was still struck with suffering. Rest was more like a pause to a realized horror than it was a reprieve. You and Ike cleaned him up and laid him sideways on the ground for the night- after all, it had been an awful day, and as the moon rose in the sky you know you wouldn’t be getting anywhere after the horrible events, much less with an unconscious Shu.

Luca spent the rest of his day detached from his own experience, even after the shock wore off. When Shu’s composure broke, Vox had attended to Luca, and they quietly wept together while Shu bawled. By the time Shu began to rest, Luca looked into the ground, water bottle in hand.

Vox approached you while Ike started a fire and prepared some rations for the rest of the group. “He’s not taking things awfully, but I’m concerned for him,” he said. “Luca, I mean.”

“I know you mean Luca,” you responded. You couldn’t hide your own exhaustion from the day either. 

“As much as I hate to say it, Shu freaking out was to be expected. He and- and Mysta- those two- they were so close. And Luca, too. I thought he would freak out like Shu, but hell, Reader, I cried more than him. I know I get emotional and he’s better at keeping it down than me, but…”

Vox’s eyelids fluttered as he looked up at the dark sky. His eyes were red. “I’m just concerned, that’s all. It’s not like him.”

“Well, living without-” Your exhaustion dragged down your sentence before you could finish it. You thought you were well-adjusted to the death, but your voice caught before you could utter his name. You cleared your throat. “Living like this. There’s going to be a lot of weird changes, and everyone mourns differently.”

“I suppose you’re right.” But Vox didn’t look too pleased to hear that. “We need to protect him.”

“He does plenty of protecting himself. And we look out for each other regardless.”

“Then we should look out for him especially.”

“Of course. I don’t want him to get overexerted.”

“And let’s tap out of any interaction if we can, including looting. Last thing we need is to get into another big fight with the zombies, or worse yet, other survivors.”

“Avoiding fights has always been our M.O.” A chilled breeze ran through the forest. Vox fiddled with his haori. You stared right through him. “Sorry if this comes across as weird. But do you really think laying low is a good idea?”

“It’s dangerous to let anything interfere with us.”

“We’re in the zombie apocalypse, Vox, everything is dangerous. It’s not like I can just wave a wand and poof, we’re immune from the plague. Besides, we’re just two out of s- out of five. We’ll figure it out when it’s not so late, and Luca and Shu are in working condition.” You squinted. “Hey. Enough about them for a second. Has anyone ever asked you if you’re okay, Vox?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“Is now. How are you holding up?”

“What, do you want me to lie to your face? No one’s doing well.” He averted his eyes, and you knew he was averting the question. “I could ask you the same thing. Shu was intense.”

“Tired,” you said. “Just plain tired. I don’t even think I have the energy to properly grieve.” And just like the man standing before you, you averted your eyes as well. “I don’t think I want to either. I don’t know. I miss him a lot, but I don’t have the time to miss him. Not when the apocalypse is literally unfolding in front of us and there’s people taking the brunt of the loss way harder than I am. I wish I could give him the remembrance he deserves.”

Vox nodded slowly. He didn’t say anything in response, and the silence made you feel like you aged hundreds of years in his presence. 

“You’re very observant, Reader,” he finally said. “And you spend a lot of time making your own conclusions before you act. That’s smart. But knowing too much prevents you from action, full stop.”

Campfire smoke curls around the chilly air and by Vox’s face. His head was still angled up to look at the sky, and the orange glow against his sharp features weathered him into a dreary oil painting. There was a gash between his cheek and ear where a tree branch hooked him while he evaded a zombie’s grapple, and the light illuminated the soft pink flesh exposed under the cut of skin. The corner of the gash met his thoughtful frown. “Every moment of life teaches you something. I’m wondering when it’ll be too much and we simply can’t go on the way we used to.”

“Might be soon.”

“Today definitely sped it along.”

The fire crackled. You and Vox sat there unmoving, too focused on the blaze and how controlled it was compared to the townhouse. 

Even as the tinder burns, your thoughts were still so awry now that the group got smaller. Vox had a point about Luca. You needed to keep an eye out on him in case he’s putting on a brave front. Even then, you didn’t like how Vox deflected your concern, but prodding him would only make it worse, especially when the loss was so fresh. 

Your thoughts drifted to Ike, and how you haven’t managed to share a word with him at all since the townhouse burning. He hasn’t cried, you recall, not a single time since the first outbreak. You admired his composure but now that Vox admitted his own fears for the others (and neglected to tell you the ones about himself), you can’t help the unease that settled into your stomach. What were his thoughts like? Everything went off the rails whenever you tried to collect yourself, but if Ike was able to keep it all under wraps, then his mind must be a storm.

Speak of the devil. Ike hands Luca a small can of beans, but the blond stayed by his lonesome. Your best friend took the empty seat beside you, and gives you and Vox your dinner.

You thanked him, and after savoring what little you had of your portion, you asked how he’s doing.

“Just gotta get through another day,” Ike responded. 

Then he tipped the last of his beans into his mouth and stared at the fire, just as you did after talking with Vox. He was unreadable as ever, but the only thing you could glean from him with confidence is that he had just as much on his mind as you thought. Maybe even more.

You wished he would just tell you.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

But grass grows over graves, and even if Mysta didn’t have a proper send off, time waits for no one. 

Once Shu woke up, his face was a mess of bleariness and exhaustion. Something in his bright eyes froze over during the night. Amethyst faded to plastic. 

“We’ll keep moving,” he declared, and his voice chilled you to the core. He called out the order as a leader, not a friend, without the care or delicacy he always granted to your group. His emotion died with Mysta. 

(And you saw Vox ready himself to refute, but once he met those purple eyes filled with something unearthly, he shank under Shu’s presence.)

Days pass. All of them are spent on the road. The group spends as little time resting as possible just to get a few extra miles out to your next destination. 

Shu and Luca say it’s to get away, but they end the sentence differently. Shu says to get away from the zombies. Luca doesn’t finish his thought at all. 

It’s no surprise that Vox opposes it. The more distance between the group and the townhouse, the more he speaks his mind. 

But Shu is determined to go further, just as much as Vox is convinced everyone needs to lay low.

And in all the time you’ve known these men, you’ve never seen any of them fight against one another quite like this. Vox always concedes, but not before Shu spits venom and he flings it right back. Their words are always about the plan, their future, where the group is going and why don’t they wait out the zombies instead of these hourly skirmishes on the road; but everyone can tell there’s more lying in subtext than the literal argument. You’ve seen the way Vox grits his teeth and musters up his courage whenever he’s about to tell Shu off, and you know that disgusted glare Shu gives Vox whenever he brings up hiding from the zombies.

Ike usually ends up being the one to break up their fights. One dismal evening while he lectured them both about teamwork and other platitudes, you and Luca sat next to each other. He’s a big guy, but he’s lost a lot of weight from rationing, and his expression looks like an abandoned dog more often than not these days.

He talks quietly, but plainly. “Shu hates me, doesn’t he?”

“What?” The bluntness startles you. “Luca, listen to yourself. He could never.”

“He could.”

“He wouldn’t,” you insist. “He’s gone through a lot, and he’s not taking it well, but I know it’s always because he wants to protect you. All of us.”

“So is Vox. But he just shuts him down without a thought. You ever wonder why, Reader?”

“To get away from the zombies,” you recite. That’s always his reasoning. Staying put in one place just means more time for zombies to gather at the scent of the living.

“So would finding a secure shelter, like how Vox says.” Luca sits with his knees close to his chest, and watches from a distance at the quelled fight. Vox says something, and you can see Shu’s face contort even though you can’t hear what he says. “But he doesn’t even listen to him. He doesn’t even listen to you, Reader, when you try to break it up.” He holds his legs closer to himself. “I don’t know if he’s ever listened to me. Or anyone.”

“He would if you told him you feel like that. He’d understand.”

“Would he really?” You nearly answer that before you realize the question is rhetorical. “You’ve got eyes, Reader. Be attentive like how I know you always are and look at how he looks at us. Me and Vox.”

You try to follow Luca’s request but Ike is speaking, and Shu’s eyes close.

He elaborates. “It’s not a nice look.”

“He’s stressed.”

“Then why doesn’t he ever look at you like that? Or even better, why does he listen to Ike only, and how come it never seems to stick?”

“He’s going through a lot.”

“We all are.”

Across the camp, you watch Ike run a hand through his hair. Shu is still talking, and Vox sighs.

“I think he blames us.”

You grab Luca’s arm. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s obvious anyways.”

“Because that’s our friend.”

“He hasn’t acted like one for a long time.”

“Because he’s lost so much.”

“We were all friends,” Luca snaps. “We lost just as much. Hell! I was in the house! We were together! And then we got separated, and unlike someone Vox actually tried to help him out until- and I should’ve- we saw him get bit, and I couldn’t- I just, I-”

Luca shuts himself up. Your hand falls from his arm to his palm and squeezes. No life returns your gesture. 

You sit in the stagnant silence. 

“I’m sorry.” Luca lowers his head. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Get it off your chest, Luca. I won’t hurt you.”

“No, I don’t think I should.” He unwraps his legs, and stands up from the ground beside you. “I’m not going to say it and be an awful friend, even if he’s acting like one.”

Before you could ask what the hell that was supposed to mean, Luca already turned his back, and you sat alone from the argument as he walked away from everything.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Despite all their bickering, Shu and Vox lead the group through travel. It’s more likely that the bickering is the exact reason why. The fire iron and rebar push aside the greenery, until Vox stops with his rebar casting the brush aside. “Fucking finally.”

You catch up and look across the hill. Buildings. This used to be a small rest town in a clearing between the hills before the outbreak, but now the bright signs are dimmed out and dirtied. Not a soul lurks in the abandoned town, including the dead. 

“We’re not stopping,” Shu says.

“Piss off, Shu. I’m tired.”

“You’re never going to be well-rested.”

“Then how does safe sound?”

“Not possible no matter where you go.”

“But safer than on the road-”

“Guys,” Ike interrupts. “Quit acting like toddlers.”

Vox pouts and Shu squints. None of the three want to get the next word in.

So you speak up instead. “We’re running out of supplies. If we don’t find any more food soon, then we won’t even be able to continue on the road.”

“Reader has a point,” Ike agrees.

Shu’s expression sours. “Fine. We’ll look around, but make it quick. Camping out here is a great way to get robbed.”

“Then we’ll move together and keep watch for one another,” Vox declares, and he smiles. “Welcome to the correct side, Reader, Ike. It’s good to have you on board.”

Ike rolls his eyes. “Don’t drag me into your petty fights.” You fight the urge to quip he’s already in the mess as the mediator.

But the group traverses the hills and enters the remains of the town. The ground is littered with garbage strewn about in the haste for its citizens to flee town- or for the ill-fated, become the corpses dragging along the cement. 

The zombies here shamble along independent from one another. That’s the best you could ask for. The only consistent thing about zombie behavior is their danger when in swarms. Alone, they’re nothing but fetid flesh barely clinging onto the skeleton, ready to fall into a hundred pieces at one strike, but when accompanied by others? Fodder makes up for each others’ weaknesses, and no matter how competent or skilled you are, one human is nothing to a crowd of zombies on the warpath. 

The zombies of this town haven’t synced up with one another, and you’d like to keep it that way. While on the road, you’ve had plenty of skirmishes with small groups of zombies, but the last time your band faced off against a proper herd, you lost one. 

A single zombie clambers to the front of your group. You hear metal against fabric as Ike pulls out his cleaver from its sheath, ready to do the deed, but before he can advance Shu already has his fire poker in his hands and the business end driven through the eyes of the zombie. He twists, assuring the brain is too punctured to allow the body to rise again, and the poker is back at rest. He barely even apologizes to the body as everyone trudges on.

Behind his back, Ike resheathes his weapon. He squints through his glasses, and you can read the confusion between his green eyes. Ike doesn’t meet your glance, but his expression is welcome, as unfortunate as it is. At least you’re not the only one that noticed how out of character Shu has been lately. You’re getting a sinking feeling about him.

However, the moment passes as soon as it appeared, and you and the rest of your friends rove onwards until you come across a set of stairs erring into the earth, surrounded by a dirtied glass entrance. 

“Who would’ve thought?” You wonder aloud. “I never would’ve guessed this little town had a subway system.”

Vox raises his hand along the cool glass. “This could be good. The entrance is camouflage pretty well considering the damage of this town, and there might be some preserved food in vending machines. All we need to do is break ‘em.”

“And if there isn’t any food, it’s still a big area,” Ike adds. “Plenty of space and a roof over our heads.”

Luca looks down the staircase. It’s dark, but not unnavigable. The edges of the sidewalk are lined with yellow paint stripes, and features small lights along the walls from a backup generator, most likely. “It’s a good hiding place,” he says.

Luckily for everyone, Shu can already tell he’s defeated, and doesn’t put up much of a fight before you all descend down the stairs. 

Not even ten minutes later Luca found a vending machine and smashed it apart with his spiked bat. Vox unwrapped a pack of Oreos with a smug smile. 

The subway was no longer in operation and the trains themselves were abandoned, but you found a sign with a map of the station. The subway connected the major areas of the town together, and could be used as secret passages through the ruins.

And most interesting, there were even less zombies underground than under the sun. 

“I wonder if the stairs confused them?” Luca says to himself. “Surely a few of them figured it out, since we killed some since we entered the subway, but it might be too complex for herds to come through. Or the architecture itself is confusing.”

You weren’t about to question it. This was one of the most peaceful environments you’ve entered since the outbreak, and there was no way you would ignore the moment to catch your breath, even if you can still cut through the tension with a knife. 

You enter first watch with the drifting bond between everyone on your mind, and when Ike relieves you for his watch, you fall asleep in record time.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

An arm jostles you awake. “Reader. Wake up, zombies.”

You curse, albeit a little groggily, but in a flash you’re on your feet. You thumb under your sleeping pad and grab your climbing picks. “I thought we were safe?”

“Not at all.” Your eyesight adjusts after you start walking, but you can already recognize the voice as Ike. Out of the corner of your eye you can spot Shu trying to shake Luca awake, and Vox gathering everyone’s things together. “They’re flooding in fast. Herds of them. Like they’re all on the same wavelength.”

“Like the townhouse.”

It dawns on you and you say it without thinking. Ike’s shoulders freeze over. “Don’t say that. Not so loudly.”

“Fine. What do you need me to do?”

“Get your things together. They’re not here yet, but they will be soon, around the corner we came.”

Vox approaches halfway through zipping a backpack together. “We should take the next right corridor. I remember that leads to a different exit.”

“You sure it’s not the same one the zombies are coming in through?” You ask.

“Positive.”

“We need to stay ahead of the herd,” Shu said, Luca in tow. “No fighting unless absolutely necessary. If we get started now we should be able to get away without overexerting ourselves. Ready?”

No words need to be exchanged. You leave the clearing just as you found it. 

A collected groan follows behind you, and a chill runs down your spine. You’ve never heard so many zombies, and never so man all in harmony. The moans arrange together in the cavernous halls, bouncing off the cement and down the station. 

The urgency rises once the cries grow closer. Vox breaks out in a run, then Luca, and Shu behind him. 

“Right,” Vox calls, and dives at the turn. A zombie greets him. He drives his rebar into its head and flings it away without a second thought like a lancer. 

The zombie smashes against a sight with arrows to different stations. Ike swerves out of the way. “Fork ahead, where now?”

“Right? I mean-” He goes one way to view a sign, then sprints the other. “Straight! Straight!”

The dead sing. You can’t think to look back but the smell of rot is suffocating.

Your foot falls under the concrete ground in time with your family, and in time with the stumbling zombies approaching faster than you’ve ever felt before. 

Luca halts in his tracks, and you thump against his back. Your mouth parts to speak but your eyes fall upon the exit.

Or rather, the lack of exit.

Boulders of broken concrete hide the stairwell from daylight.

Hot breath strangles you, and you turn with your picks in hand. Swathes of the dead are fixated on your group. 

Ike runs straight-on to the choir. You scream out as one reaches for him before he turns at the last fork in the road.

You cut your scream off halfway when you follow him without a second thought. 

A hand covered in dirt and mold grasps against the sleeve of your jacket. You swivel and sink your pick into the limb, and the wrist pops off under your blade. The hand goes limp and falls from the fabric.

You hear footsteps behind you, and when Luca speaks up you’re full of relief even if only for a moment. “What now?”

“Just run,” You say back, more of a guess than an order.

Shu drifts in front of you. “Where are we?”

“Give me a moment, I’m trying to think!”

“We don’t have time, Vox!”

“I know, Shu, shut up!”

“Going left!” Ike shouts, and you all move without question. 

But you realize only after the zombies cut away the turn that the station turns more decrepit on this side. The tunnels are lined with debris and the floor crumbles away along the painted stripes. 

And before you can find a new route, you see a puff of dust from the ceiling.

“The roof!” You shout. You’re gasping to breathe now, and your words stumble upon the exhale. 

Shu’s eyes roll up to the flickering light, and you both see the elongated crack above your heads. It’s been in decay for years. How unlucky. How simply, brutally, lethally unlucky.

“Hurry!” He pleads. He’s at the front of the pack, followed by Vox and Luca alongside each other. Ike trails behind you. 

The crack in the roof follows your every footstep even as ancient instinct kicks in. Adrenaline shoots through your veins and pushes you forward, accompanied by bits of debris tangling in your hair. The flooring turns from concrete to tile, and with the dirtied mosaic comes a glimmer of hope. Surely you must be going the right way.

The zombies’ cries are loud, but the squeak of your shoe against the tiles is louder. There must be something beyond.

But the ceiling splintering out is the loudest of all.

It all happens at once:

The way that Shu turns at the sound and can’t even get one of his own out before he sees your face-

The powdered cement turning to hail in the blink of an eye-

Your war cry through gritted teeth as you launch off, the fastest you’ve ever run before-

A knife unsheathed in in warmth and frigidity in your midst-

Luca, hated, blamed, petrified. 

Your brain catches up through the curtain of scrap. It’s all because of Luca. Even at his most vulnerable, you’ve never thought of him as weak. Nonetheless, his eyes are dead purple crusted against his ghost-white face, and his lips force open while a vein along his neck strains to scream out your name, but he lets out just one small, throaty heave. A miserable noise.

It silences you. 

You know it, and he does too. A chunk of ceiling drops mere inches from your last step. Vox approaches, calls out your name before he’s even comprehended the truth before him. You see the dark in his pale eyes tighten into a thin reptilian pupil and he reaches out in desperation.

The last of the ceiling shatters. A broken crag hammers into his palm instead. All you hear is Shu finally get out the scream before the remains of the underground roof shuts you out from your family.

The dead rises in volume. The glimmer of hope evaporates.

You force yourself against the barricade, but your weight is no match for the pile of rubble, and you watch the zombies shamble forward with your back against the wall. The only person you have left brushes plaster away from his eyes with one arm and brandishes a knife in the other.

Ike Eveland looks like hell alive. 

It would almost be hilarious if you weren’t facing a subterranean grave. His face is dirtied with mud and rubble, and the legs of his trousers are matted in blood, rot, and dirt, but even then, this is still your best friend. The years you’ve spent alongside him blend together. His once-delicate hands now bear countless scars from travel and fights, but the contours of his face are recognizable even through the dust that mars his skin. 

This is an unwinnable situation. You’re locked in checkmate, but Ike stands next to you.

You speak. “No more exits, right?”

Ike swipes at his face again, and the sleeve of his mantle comes back grayer than before. “I think we both know how this ends, Reader.”

“Yeah. I do.”

You both watch the leading zombie shuffle one foot forward, and each of its followers mimic the motion. 

You notice Ike’s hand against his face out of the corner of your eye. Then how his shoulders jerk up for a moment, before setting themselves in place, stony and rigid. 

His words break your heart. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Me neither.”

“I wish I could refuse all this- all this-” 

He sniffs. 

You move without thinking, and your mind is set. You wrap your arms around Ike. 

He doesn’t even raise his hands. He just leans against your shoulder lifelessly, and lets the tears fall. 

You rub his back as he hiccups into your shirt. How long has he been keeping this locked up? You ache for him and all his repression as his body goes limp against yours, the only thing keeping him standing. 

“It’ll be okay.” That’s only a lie you can hope is the truth. “After all this. We’ll be okay. Shu and Vox and Luca, too. It’s a straight shot now that all the zombies are on us.”

“I’m going to miss you. All of you.”

“We’re together.”

“I’m sorry this is how it ends.”

“We still have options.”

He scoffs, even as his voice cracks through his quiet crying. “We’re trapped, Reader. There’s no way out.”

“We can still go out on our terms,” you say. You place your hand over his, the one that holds the knife. “Once we’re gone, the zombies are going to search for the other three.”

You squeeze one last time, and break away from the hug. You look upon the wave of dead flesh and rot, and draw your weapons. “I don’t want them to fight any more than they have to.”

“That’s hopeless.”

“It’s all I can do.”

“How are you so calm about this?”

“I’m not sure myself,” you admit. “It’s just that right now, I know I’m in a losing battle, and I accept that. But I don’t accept just laying down and dying like that.” 

Your climbing picks cross together as you ready your eerily still mind. The blades scrape against each other. Metal sings. “And I just want to handle things calmly. After all this time, I learned that from you.”

“I don’t know how you can just remember things like that when we’re about to die.”

“I suppose I only die on my own terms. Hey.”

Ike stumbles to his feet. His knife is pointed to the ground. With a tranquility that evaded you all throughout the apocalypse, you steady his posture and guide the blade up to the dead beyond.

Your hand rises up his arm as his eyes close, and he silently murmurs to himself. You rub his shoulder. “You good?”

Ike exhales. His body lowers as he does, and with the breath comes a relaxed posture. This is the most at peace he’s been since the outbreak strangled the past world. 

His eyelashes rise. Stormy green seas focus upon the staggering zombies. 

“No.” Ike’s lip trembles. But he’s set on the zombies ahead, and a bolt of lightning crosses through his eyes. “But I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good man.”

“There’s about five of them leading the pack in that corner. We can pick them off and get some more breathing room.”

“Understood, Mr. Tactical.”

“Don’t call me that.” Under the exhaustion and the fear and the grittiness that comes with crying, you hear some of that classic, joking exasperation. You snicker to yourself, but the bittersweet smile remains. 

“Mr. Eveland, then.” Your sight hones in on one zombie to your right. Its jaw slides apart as it follows the scent of the fresh living. “It’s been an honor, Ike.”

“Likewise, Reader, we’ll do what we can.”

“Let’s go.”

At your command, you both launch off, laser-focused on the individual dead. 

Ike kicks a corpse down to knock it prone, then rakes his knife into the skull, and that’s all you can see before you throw yourself into the fray.

A one-on-one is simple. The zombie in front of you holds out a decrepit hand, perfect for your climbing pick to detach. It stumbles at the force and grants you an opening to clobber its brain in.

Rinse and repeat. 

You dive between the steps of your latest kills to divert attention in time to slay another and stay moving. The trick is to use gravity to your advantage. They aren’t smart enough to stand their ground, and when they inevitably fold from the pressure of your picks, it’s like the zombies present themselves for you can finish the job.

The next target swipes at you. You jut one pick down upon the corpse and one more meets the brittle skull. This gives you enough time to duck under a lunge, sweep the leg, and aim to kill. 

Something grabs your leg before you plunge the pick in. A body, dismembered from the waist up. 

You yelp as yellow-black teeth rise, and frantically kick. The zombie holds on tight, but when you regain your senses, it doesn’t even see the blade incoming before the soft brain squashes in. Splatters of gore and bits of chunky nerve endings sprays against your frame while your sweat mixes in with the stench of rot and muddy mildew.

You step back to reposition. Ike’s clothing is covered in blackened blood, and you watch him plunge his knife into the chests of whatever unfortunate beast approaches next. He twists and yanks out, then goes in for a final blow between the eyes. He has a rhythm established despite the shades of rot against his mantle and shirt. It almost looks routine. 

His next victim’s head rolls to the ground and breaks apart like porcelain. The brain is still in place, but the elongated gash through the nervous system confirms it would never rise again. 

But one gets the jump on Ike while his back is turned, and he yells out as he thrashes. He swivels on his heel. The zombie maneuvers around even as his hands push back in a fierce gridlock. It snaps its broken jaws in Ike’s face as it snarls, and sinks its claws in. Gunk travels through its saliva.  

“I got your back!” While Ike retreats, you trip the dead that crawls in front of you, and dash to his side. You drag your picks into the nape and back of the zombie’s head, and the creature goes limp just in time for Ike to shove it against the wall. 

Ike catches his breath, brushes his hand against his arm, and meets your concerned look with a nod in silent gratitude. “They’re gaining on us,” he says. “You don’t need to kill all of them, disabling them is fine!”

“Got it!”

But even that is easier said than done. There are so many zombies in the herd, it looks like you haven’t even left a dent, and your space is getting limited. You hack through the edges of the herd and pray that your wild swipes cut through a limb or two. 

“We’re losing turf!”

“Yeah, and I- gaah!”

Ike heaves. Your switch flips from ‘kill zombies’ to ‘check Ike’.

You follow his rasp to the corner of the room, where the ceiling crashed down. His back is pressed against the tiled wall, and he struggles to peel off his mantle. 

You don’t even need to ask. His hand clutches his arm, and the chunk of flesh missing from it. 

“Holy shit, Ike!” You can’t even mute yourself. Millions of warning bells go off in your head. The internals are coated in a dark membrane from where it meets the oxygen in the air, less red than it is purple, and his veins beside the mutilation rise in an ugly green. 

You reach your hands out as you rip off a cut of fabric from your sleeve. “No. No, this can’t be happening-“

He slaps your hand away before you can begin to bandage the blood loss, and immediately crumples. “Don’t do that! It’s the virus!”

“There’s no way it spreads that fast-“

“It will. I don’t want you to have that.” Ike sucks in air through his teeth as he sinks to the floor. 

“How did you even-“ you cut yourself off. “It was the zombie that jumped you, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. I didn’t even notice the pain when it happened.” He curses in his native language. The green in his veins rise, and branches sprout from the veins under his graying skin, like tree bark. The rapid decay of the outbreak. “Oh, that’s not good.”

The din of the battle behind you is entirely forgotten as you focus on the uneven flesh, the imprint of the bite upon his mangled arm, how nearly every level of the wound has turned to the same rot of the zombies. 

Ike’s breathing is labored. The center of his shirt is soaked with the rot of those he killed, and rises and falls shakily. 

He smacks his lips, and you’re struck with the realization that talking is a strain. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

You crouch by his side and nod. 

“The sheath, on my belt,” he says. “Can you unfasten it?”

You comply without question even through your blurring eyes. I can’t refuse a request from a dead man, you think, and then the weight of your thought slams you. 

Ike’s unscathed hand rises from the wound, coated in slick purple gore, and brushes against the handles of his knives. The membrane pools together into beads along the handle. His fingers stop at the last slot in his sheath, and the tip of the cleaver is dyed in the beginnings of the rot. 

You think you’re about to vomit your heart out. 

“No.” Your voice wavers. “No. No, I can’t do this.”

“You can,” Ike comforts you, and you feel even more like trash. You should be the one comforting him instead. “I trust you.”

And that’s what gets the tears to spill out from your eyelashes. “But I can’t kill you.”

“You said it best earlier. Dying on your own terms, right?”

“But I can’t kill you.”

“I don't want to be one of them,” he admits. “Look around, Reader, we’re surrounded, and we both know there’s no way out. And being one of them, it’s unnatural. It’s just messed up. If I’m going to die, I want to know I’m at rest. None of this- whatever all this is.”

His head lolls to the side. “And I want to see Mysta again.”

The chorus of the dead accompanies Ike’s heavy breathing and your weeping. You are a helpless child. 

“I’ll help you,” Ike adds. “I’ll tell you how I usually confirm the dead. You’re my best friend. I trust you.”

It sickens you. 

You let out a puff of air as you draw your palm over your eyes. The gore across your face smears over with your tears. 

You take the cleaver in your hands. 

“Thank you.”

“You deserve better than this.”

“It’s the best we can do. I’m glad.”

“This is so fucked up.” You draw the cleaver with both hands, as if that would end the shaking. Even as you shut your eyes, you can’t get your resolve in place. 

“The trick is to be fast,” Ike says, and it disgusts you at how easily he says it. It disgusts you even more when you know the decay is spreading as he speaks, all the way into his raspy voice. “It’s all in the wrist. That’s what keeps it precise instead of clumsy. It’s where all the force is. Don’t swing wide. Just center it where you want to hit. How are you doing?”

“Not good.” Your breathing deepens, a last-ditch effort to remain calm. “I’m scared.”

You force your eyes open. The world floods in white, then falls into the blurred grays of the subway station. 

Ike is already so much worse for wear. The bite is entirely blackened, and the discolored skin stretches from his arm to his shoulder, creeping along what little you can see of his neck. 

His eyelids are shut, gentle aside from the furrow in his brow. 

“Me too.”

Even with his feigned nonchalance, there is so much sorrow laced between his words. 

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll be safer,” Ike says, and even he doesn’t seem so convinced by it. “Thank you for everything. I’ll miss you too.”

“You’ll always be my best friend.” 

You raise the cleaver. 

“Please tell Mysta I’m thinking of him. We all are, always.”

“We’ll be watching.”

Ike’s head is lowered, but you still see his attempt at a smile. 

You black out as you swing.

There is no memory left of his last moment. It’s all too much to bear. 

You cover your face, because looking at him is simply- just- too- much. Blood mixes in with your eyelashes, and you taste metal on your lips. 

You don’t even have the energy to scream, or cry, or do anything. You are a husk, and you do not hear Ike’s cleaver clatter to the floor. There is nothing. 

Your body moves without your command. You step back, and even though you refuse to look, you know you’re backing away from Ike. Your heart hammers, and so do your limbs. It spreads in droves, this pressure of heartbreak, constricting you and squeezing you apart.

Daggers fall into your skin. You snap out of your stupor. 

But once you identify the daggers as teeth, you wish you didn’t.

You tear your hands away from your face as a glob of rot (his rot, you realize, and you can’t even begin to wrap your head around that) flicks out in an arc. The hammering- it’s claws raking against your flesh and tearing you apart like meat.

While you accompanied Ike in his last moments, the outbreak stopped for no one, least of all you. You are no invulnerable main character. You blocked out the roaring chorus as he lay, but it continued outside of your little bubble, and with your back turned they absorbed the last of your free space for a perfect siege. 

You veer your head away out of instinct when the teeth pull away, and takes a bite of muscle out with it. The pain is blinding hot- you finally regain your voice in time to screech, but it drowns out through the zombie moans. 

A second set of jaws snaps you up. Already your head is spinning, and when you see the sinew from the corner of your vision you resist the urge to faint. If you take a look at the broken skin and extruding vine-veins again, you know you’re going to black out again, and never wake up. 

You force your sight to anything else. 

You make the mistake of looking into zombie eyes for the third time in your life. 

But this time you don’t retain the memory, either. Because for as little time you have left, how could you live knowing that your best friend’s peaceful green eyes snapped open in terror in his final moment? 

You choke out, and whether it’s from pain or grief or pure fear, you can’t even tell. Just that it all mixes together into a toxic blend, the poison of your undoing. 

And to think, you had the gall to meet such a grisly end head-on minutes ago. 

On the ground, next to his limp foot, the steel edge of Ike’s cleaver winks at you. 

It’s all in the wrist, he told you, and your blood burns into dust. But Ike is gone, now, and for as horrified as his melted remains were, he was certainly watching your every move. 

And the infection is unnatural, and climbs along your shoulder, and there is no agony in the world like this fate. 

And you wanted to see Mysta again. 

With the last of your strength you regain your legs, and kick off one zombie from your leg. It topples and gives you enough time to shake off another that has you grappled. 

The weight shift combined with your blood loss makes you hit the ground hard, but you scrape at the floor nonetheless. You are so weak, and you struggle, so focused on the glint of the blade that you ignore your skin crack apart like mud in a drought. 

You reach, bloodied and battered, and so close to rest. 

The washed light shines off the cleaver. Its reflection teases you as a monster snatches your foot and send you back into the horde like a toy. 

You emit your final scream, and that too dies as hundreds of hands hold you back. Your body and blood is swallowed by the herd of dead.

When you can’t keep your eyes open anymore, the dark in your mind rearranges to replicate the cleaver. Then it flattens, and you see the haunted remains of Ike Eveland between it. 

The only sound left is teeth meeting bone. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[professorspork]

director's commentary sdau emerald scene

You know, I really should have seen this coming but I didn't.

Let's put it under a cut bc moderate spice and considerable length:

This scene went through more iterations and re-writes than the vast majority of its brethren.

I dug around in our chat history to find the exact moment we generated the idea, because this one wouldn't have happened without you. and you know what I learned?

it dates to mid-January 2023, which is literally before I started posting newsbees. this idea is OLD. it is some of the EARLIEST MATERIAL of sdau.

I told you I was reading this for fic research in the middle of an unrelated discussion about Emerald; you then joked that all you could think about was Emerald at the sex club giving vytal fic vibes, just bored out of her skull while people throw themselves at her, and I said I hadn't come up with a role for her yet.

you: emerald would try to go to the sex club after getting out of a toxic relationship the way blake did and then she'd be there for 15 minutes and nope the fuck out and run away me: which, actually-- she could be one of blake's one-off partners where after about 5 minutes blake's like "you are allowed to leave we really don't have to do this" and em's like OHTHANKGOD

I briefly considered a much crueler idea in which Blake witnessed Emerald and Cinder doing a scene together, but we quickly agreed that the original idea was the better one.

I haven't been able to find chat history about it, so I'm moderately certain that I didn't tell you about the fact that I'd decided to read poor Emerald for filth and give her the Mommy kink until I started showing you the scene in its original incarnation, in mid-July of 2023 (which has the benefit of showing just how long this project has taken me, lmao).

me: emerald. sweetheart. when you say mommy kink most people assume that means you wanna be coddled and not that you want to be negged. just. just saying me: emerald do you know what mothers are me: emerald

That first version of the scene differed in several keys ways from the final product, but the most crucial of those was that in the first go-around, Blake actually agreed to give Emerald her number. Em asked for it, and Blake said "Sure, I'd like that," and then the scene ended.

I sat on that for *checks time stamps* approximately 29 hours before I broke the news to you that, upon reflection, I didn't buy it; I just couldn't believe that Blake would be in a healthy enough place mentally to do that. the better and more accurate thing for the story would be for Blake to chicken out and then regret it, because she couldn't be for Em what Sun had been for her.

you: oh no why are you doing that it makes me sad me: because if blake is in a cool enough place to do that with em her actually exchanging numbers with yang doesn't hit as hard you: but now I'm so sad me: i mean it's still ME i'm sure i'll find a way for her to encounter em again before the end

(hmmm. Did I do that in the end? I SUPPOSE WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND FIND OUT, DEAR READERS.)

from there, once I'd figured out what the scene was truly for, it was still a lot of effort and tweaking before I got it to read how I wanted to: threading the simultaneous needles of being lowkey arousing but also inarguably unsettling from the jump, so that you're seeing those red flags but maybe, like Blake, thinking they can be overcome until it's very obvious they Can't. I struggled with how to frame it so that it came through that Blake was being... mmm, let's say reckless without crossing the line into Blake being irresponsible, and I wasn't happy with my first stabs at it. in the very first draft, after Em says says she doesn't want to discuss her burn scar and adds "There, that's a boundary, since you wanted one so bad," the prose goes 'There is absolutely no way they are fucking at this point, given Emerald's attitude, and… Blake doesn't know why she stays.'

Which: why would I tell the reader that? It's way too on the nose, and drains the scene of all tension! it also made the spanking moment read as overtly didactic in a way that I didn't like and hadn't intended, so. I tried to drill down into what I thought it was about.

adding the flashback moments to Blake's encounter with Trifa helped considerably; that wasn't in the first draft at all, though the fact that she'd had that encounter was already canon. taking a look at it again, I realized weaving those two together was an opportunity to show why Blake "lets" Emerald make this mistake and indulges her, because it's the same thing Blake went through and she understands it. massaging the tempo and timbre of my vocab took some doing so Blake wasn't in full-on panic attack mode and thus making it all seem WORSE than it already was.

and the final thing I changed was just... twisting that knife more and adding to their rapport. the original draft was brief; it went right from Emerald giving the Cinder backstory to Blake being like "congrats on past tense" and then it was the phone number ask. it was important to me to elaborate on why these two had chemistry, on how they were parallel, and on just how much they liked each other and vibed-- on just how much of an opportunity Blake was missing out on. so Blake laughing more at Em's jokes, and getting the Mercury context, that all came later.

in total, I think this scene had like five or six discrete iterations before reaching its final form.

[strugglingatart]

Jr Year ep 3

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don’t want to this will be long

EX GIRLFRIEND I will legit fight Brennan why did we at least not see it....

btw me saying I will fight brennan is mostly a joke like I get why we made all these changes, I don't actually love everything but I do trust all these people enough that it will serve the story and play out great

Immediately clocking the fairy festival (Frosty whatever it is I'm so sorry Brenan says it and then it's immediately out of my head) connection we love

love love looove the aguefort projections, so many Arthur statues!

Riz's manic energy is such a vibe, not exactly healthy but a vibe I get

the astral realm where all the dead gods go

lowkey love that Gorgug and Fabian are solid like the boys lowkey play them so dumb but that's just teenage boys for ya (also thought maybe Fabian would be in less trouble but still some so this makes my anxiety relax a bit, only issues we already knew off)

Actually for the wizards I'm really chill is an A+ and also probably true sentence

ah the answer I needed about Fig's multiclass

Ah the society of shadows again, and a college for sad alone adventureres lol

their record is bad but it should be worse when talking about the one person sports team is SO FUNNY to me

the friends bit is so good, everythig about it, all the laughing, Emily failing intentionally, Ally letting it work even tho it shouldn't, perfection

Lydia still making half orc meals we love and stan

Adaine-Riz friendship is SO IMPORTANT to me

the sibbling energy our girls have are amazing

the Thisstlesprings will literally just go into sex ed and Gorgug's reaction is gold everytime

"Can I run from you?" LMAO

ok I'm getting the silly energy they were talking about now

listennnn we are gonna get into Gorgug isn't a good barbarian according to his teacher again aren't we? it's why it wasn't pre approved? I will fight this teacher he literally saved the world twice as mostly a barbarian let him be a chill barbarian

WHY DID GILLEAR NOT TALK TO FIG

yes Fabian make Fig go to class

yay new lunch lad

also I legit thought the time quangle was just an explain continuity errors away and also get rid of the agueforts who break encounters thing but it might be related to the plot now that it's come back up in the recap and in the intercom in story

Fig has Gillear's luck confirmed ok

Zac's physical comedy continues to be SO GOOD

the sillies really are here I'm laughing so much

straight away this lady is insane

four different dogs is such a good burn, love agro Kristen

do not trust this people at all

ohhh skullcleaver, Katya's aunt? cousin? I don't recall the seven mentioning that

listen Fabian's house being party house is lowkey dangerous

Kristen being a disaster gay even when trying to help friends flirt is a mood and a half

ooohh I like mazey

don't trust the attomaton tbh

also yes I just thought of this now so it's late but going back to Kipperlilly whatever her name is, like homegirl can't make big institutional changes youre class president not on staff

rules always being followed to the letter is tbh scary there has to be room for interpretation, perfect order doesn't exist

YES PLOT love how it's already too much bc mood and "yeah I cannot think about that right now" and "embodyment of writers block" oh this season is gonna continue to hit me in the face

Wanda Childa is wild

she was a turncoat, more importantly she was a mirror

why is Ally's hey girlie voice so terrifying

fully forgot porter was the barbarian teacher and I will fight porter LET GORGUG MULTICLASS...

aaaa I'm going into a worry is here, legit thought it was gonna be in battle but I love Gorgug's energy here bc I've been there where you do things kinda nontraditional way and have teachers make the achivements sound so much worse just bc i didn't get there through the path they wanted me to take

love terpsichore immediately

they get 30's fairly often now we love level 10

fabian is such an arsty kid at heart and always was like Lou wanted to make a jock maybe but never did

listen trashbag sandwich is worrying but it was indeed fine

I get that Riz is type A but he is the non annoying kind

homegirl who desn't like technicalities and ppl gettign away with stuff got out in one huh? also I have no idea what that means the teacher found her? what?

Jawbone I love you and also I worry about how much I relate to Riz

I so hate this girl I'm with Adaine, she's the worst we've had

oh no the Applebee's

ok so I have a huge like essay somewhere about both why I don't like how Kristen is dealing with Cassandra but also how I 10000% understand her as someone who abandoned religion but was then forced to still be in similar roles and religious enviornments after that somewher in my head buut also who cares but just know it exists

omg Bucky giving her a hug I cry

Kristen is not doing well but that was actually a pretty good parental confrontation tbh I'm proud

oh damn poor Adaine I'm sosorry my dear you don't deserve this

Brennan really went you know what? we are not having your wildness work for you this time Emily, your shit is catching up to you

yay fig went to class finally

we got SO many designs with all the teachers and such and they are all so great

oh nooo Kristeeen, each step I take the step behind me vanishes is such a raw ass line like this poor teenager is legit so lost like someone help her please (also that was a relatable little monologue.. am I ok?)

love the cleric teacher a lot

ok but i love cassandra alright twilight, mystery and doubt are such a cool ass domain you can sell it and embrace it Kristen I belive in youuuu

but also again: a good ass teacher

awn I love that they're back in the forest

again Siobhan promised no taers and I have cried twice now maybe three times in three eps??? rude af

the bad kids should've helped with the whole Cassandra stuff I just realised I'm so sorry

oh shit not Kalina again.... I feel like i got stabbed in the heart

oh I am sooo pumped for next ep!!!!!

[spaceyflowerswriting]

Hey i came across your lookism stuff today thought you write beautifully. I saw that the requests are open and I'd like to request vasco x reader relationship headcanons. stuff like how they fell for each and came to be in relationship and how vasco is as a boyfriend. all of their first times with each other. (First date, first kiss, first fight and first time sleeping together [last one this is optional])

thank you 🌸

vasco relationship headcanons

details: gender neutral reader, general canon au

warning: very minor spice below the read more cut! (i'm so sorry if you meant "sleeping together" in an innocent way but i assumed you didnt ??? 😭😭😭)

a/n: beautifully is such a nice word to use thank u,,, T_T and also thanks for this request <3

×

> i'd imagine the most likely scenario would be for you to be a student of j high and just encountering vasco often! lots of short meetings that eventually turn into long convos and hanging together outside of school; the classic friends to lovers <3

> everyone in vasco's eyes are good unless he hears or see that someone's done bad things, but you can bet the second jace notices you with vasco often, he's going to do a little background checking

> after jace confirms everything is well, he tries to stay out of yours and vasco's relationship because really it's none of his business but y'know how it is... he's vasco's babysitter. i gotta say tho eventually it turns into him trying to save you from vasco's antics LMAO

> anyways yeah once you're involved with vasco, you're involved with burn knuckles. whether you commit to joining or not, you're a part of the family!

> while you have your own reasons and timing for falling for vasco, his process is rather slow and yes, he is dense to any signs you might show. for him, it's all the little things that build up over time (acts of kindness, sharing snacks, hand holding) and the realization hits him like a truck at 2 am as he sits up in bed and thinks, "are friends supposed to feel this way???"

> with the help and encouragement of his buddies, he comes to the conclusion he loves you, and eventually with their cheering, he's able to confess (unless you beat him to it, of course, in which case he would reply the same by scooping you up into a hug and spinning you around <3)

> dating him in the beginning... he's like. a perfect mix of a nervous wreck and a very confident man. some days he's a stuttering mess, other days he's leading you by the hand with a shiny grin ✨

> what you can always expect, though, is him being a supportive golden retriever boyfriend 💖 he'd do anything for you, whether it be running to a store late at night to get something for you or literally running to your house 123456789 miles away just to take care of you if you're sick

> other things he'd keep consistent: being physically affectionate with you, being proud to be your boyfriend and proud to call you his partner, and his chivalry/gentlemanly acts (this has more to do with how he feels as a man rather than anything with your gender!)

> by the time he grows comfortable with dating, he's honestly just like your best friend and boyfriend ^_^ always taking you on fun dates and making sure you're smiling, even if it's from laughing at him doing dumb stuff <3 also would bring up marriage pretty early and whatever happens is up to u lol

bonus first times bc i think u wrote fun prompts 💘

first date: considering you've been his friend for a while, vasco would've already taken you to the restaurant he eats at with his friends that he took that one blind date girl to so he'd try something new like an interactive zoo :] if you're afraid of aninals, hopefully you would enjoy a nice walk around a lake instead!

first kiss: ever since vasco began dating you, this was what he anticipated the most. it'd keep him up many nights because of how nervous it made him and he'd google "how to kiss someone" and "when to kiss someone," as well as ask all his friends and others for advice, but eventually the kiss came naturally--and by accident. he had kissed you out of excitement and because you returned the energy, he hadn't even realized what he did until jace teased him for it. after that, he shyly asked if he could continue kissing your lips, and that was that <3

first fight: it's absolutely devasting for poor vasco. he knew relationships had ups and downs but he never imagined a fight would happen with him and you. but if anything, after patching up, it taught him to stop putting you on a pedestal and to be more realistic if he wanted to make the relationship work, rather than continue to live in a romanticist's daydream.

first time sleeping together: vasco never even once thought about sleeping with you simply because it's not something on his mind, but that one time you sat a little too comfortably in his lap, he Remembered™ That Thing Lovers Do and felt super embarrassed. there's a low chance this would happen naturally, but if it does, he'd be super awkward but very gentle, making sure to constantly check for your consent; otherwise you'd have to lead the way!

[naffeclipse]

Kind of bouncing off of the last ask you posted/answered, do the other glamrocks have parts in sleuth jesters? Besides Freddy, of course. What about the springlock and fnaf 1-4 models?

(Mainly asking about the springlocks bc I've been doodling an oc as if they were in the au and want to be at least a little accurate with their backstory, even if its just for funsies lmao)

For the glamrocks, I keep changing my mind about what they're doing as I don't have roles/storylines for them to be included in yet, except for one. I do, however, have plans for the Funtime animatronics in a possible Sleuth Jesters continuation, but that's all I'm going to say on that matter.

I don't have any thoughts on other fnaf models aside from what I mentioned above, so have fun with your OC! ♥

I have a lot of thoughts about Glamrock Bonnie for Sleuth Jesters, and oh boy, I'm gonna ramble about them here. Tucking it below the cut because it's a bit long! Content Warning for Pregnancy and Death.

Bonnie and Freddy were tight-knit and escaped into freedom together when animatronic rights were legally recognized. Freddy was very interested in politics and Bonnie set his sights on the justice system and the law itself. He studied and looked for every loophole and wrote as many letters as he had to, and finally managed to thrust himself into law school despite a lot of people not liking an animatronic among their students, but boy did he do it anyways.

He got his law degree and returned to the city with a lot of justice on his mind, alongside Freddy who was working his way into public roles within the community. Bonnie started working as a criminal defense lawyer and representing animatronics while navigating the very fresh, legal rights of his kind. He was helping everyone and anyone he could along the way.

There's a small story of Bonnie intervening on Sun's and Moon's behalf when they're unfairly hauled into a police station and interrogated because of Eclipse's gangster antics (before they join the police academy), but I'll save that for another time. In essence, Bonnie has met the celestial brothers. Sun and Moon like him. Eclipse does not.

It's amid these cases where he's fighting an entire system to give animatronics fair trials in a court of law that he incidentally meets a woman. She entered his office under the assumption that he was a divorce lawyer and seeking advice on how to go about such matters.

Bonnie's surprised by several things in this encounter, least of all the mistake of his specialty. Here's a human (pretty lady) who holds no pre-determined grudge or animosity toward his automaton existence, and she's rather occupied with her own troubles but very kind. When he explains that she came to the wrong place, she bursts into tears and confesses that she has no idea what to do because her husband abandoned her and she discovered not three days ago that she's pregnant.

Bonnie isn't one to shy away from complicated matters and the woman has been very sweet, so he comforts her. Ruby, as she later tells him when she's dabbing at her eyes with tissues, explains a little more about the situation. The good news is, Bonnie's certain she can get her marriage annulled as it was very recent and the circumstances are very dreadful. He gives her an address and a person to talk to, and he wishes her the best. As he watches her leave, he realizes that he would very much like to see her again, and Bonnie tells Freddy just as much later.

Freddy is supportive but also warns Bonnie to be careful. There are still a lot of people who aren't 'comfortable' with animatronics and it might be tumultuous to start a relationship with a human, if Ruby is so inclined, but Bonnie has never let anything stop him before.

Ruby was impressed by him despite the teary first meeting (much to Bonnie's delight and quiet relief). Though she was once bitten, twice shy due to her previous and now annulled relationship, and growing concerned that a man, whether organic or machine, wouldn't want anything to do with her since she's with child, Bonnie puts her fears to rest and promises that he will take care of her and the baby for eternity if she'll let him.

They become attached to one another pretty quickly. Bonnie is thoroughly smitten with his darling Ruby and supports their growing family. There are some incidents of outrage towards their relationship, some of which scare Ruby, but Bonnie's fur feathers are never ruffled even while he handles the verbal and sometimes physical reactions. Freddy is always there to lend a helping hand, too, and make sure Bonnie's family stays safe.

When Ruby has a healthy baby girl, Bonnie couldn't be prouder.

All the while, Bonnie is aiming higher in his career and sets his sights on becoming district attorney. He's certainly succeeded in enough cases to be considered for selection. It takes a staggering amount of time, but finally, when Freddy is running for Mayor, Bonnie has hope, and after Freddy wins, Bonnie is selected for district attorney.

Now in a great position to bring about change, Bonnie sees the city rotting with corruption and violence, and he knows exactly what he's going to do. He's going to pull injustice out by the roots.

He sets his sights on Eclipse and his gang.

This, one day, might be a little fic that I hopefully get to, but in short, Bonnie is the only one who successfully puts the mafia boss on trial. Eclipse finds it all very amusing, the court proceedings and whatnot, but Bonnie is the prosecutor and he intends to get Eclipse behind bars, where he belongs.

The tough thing is that Eclipse has never played fairly. With the vigilante and the detectives as witnesses among the spectators, Eclipse slips through justice's fingers and escapes punishment in a gloat to the city's legal system and as a testament to his power.

It's not long after that that Bonnie mysteriously disappears, leaving behind a wife and child. Rumors have it that Eclipse was not happy about being tried and they pity the brave but foolhardy district attorney for trying.

[0livdocx]

Let’s talk about Laloward from Better Call Saul: to think about how many fascinating stories would branch out from their intricate dynamics together if they ever interacted more than they did in the show, yet the only things that happened between them in the whole BCS series were one bullet in the head and a nameless grave for two. What a shame, but it was bound to happen just like everything else.

We know that for Saul’s path to ascend (or to simply continue) Lalo has to die and Howard has to die too - they both became sacrifices cuz Vince said sorry you guys are not the mc, this is Saul Goodman’s show. (/j) Anyway Howard and Lalo’s deaths could be one of the most impactful incidents that pushed the show to another new level, clearing the path and opening up possibilities for Saul Goodman’s future story (and then breaking bad). It’s like a force that rotates the kaleidoscope, generating new patterns fabricated by characters’ story lines in the BCS/BrBa universe. I just adore how every plot line of this show is so tightly knitted together.

But still, let’s focus on the fact that these two people, a lawyer and a cartel leader, are DEAD, TOGETHER. Maybe this incident disguised itself as a mischievous surprise, but let’s think about how we can make a playful implication from it that Howard and Lalo are FATALLY INCOMPATIBLE together - see how a Big Bang happened when their fates collided? And the fact that they met merely only once in the entire show? It’s giving fertility and creativity.

Well despite the fact that the two of them are both being pushed around by their own fates, despite that they’re both sacrifices to Saul’s story, if you try to think about it, it really makes you wonder if it’s because they both preserved mutually powerful but contradictory energies, which only one another could match, leading to a huge ass explosion that impacted many characters’ fates in BCS after their one encounter. Their positions are both near the top in the entire BCS food chain, not to mention the fact that they had been keeping the equilibrium of the BCS universe with their contradictory but balancing energies - they’re Yin and Yang, they’re two equally powerful but opposite forces that eliminates each others, you can even find poetry in it, we don’t even have to make it obvious.

One thing I love about Laloward is that despite their own tragic deaths which cut off their endless possibilities for the future, the room for imagination about the two of them that Vince left us is just so vast, and it arrived at a perfect timing: Lalo was so close to take his revenge, and Howard was so close to “land on his feet”. Their lifelines were both about to rise to a new height, but were abruptly cut off at one point, together. Just see how tragically similar they are at this point? It’s like the Laloward fan content is bound to be created because it just makes people ponder. This ship gives the both of them chances to be the main characters of their own stories together - giving them possibilities that they could’ve had, letting them walk on their unfinished paths, filling up those regrets by exploring their dynamics together. You know they fit well together just by looking at their character designs.

Like yeah we know that they’re FATALLY INCOMPATIBLE, deadly romance in a way, but what would happen when they become LIVELY COMPATIBLE? Like they DIED TOGETHER, what if they LIVED TOGETHER? Well I know a situation where two people are compatibly living together: A RELATIONSHIP! Whatever between them inspires us to be creative, to explore possibilities for fictional characters we love, to observe the complexity of humanity from a safe distance - that’s just how fandoms enrich our lives.

In conclusion if Howard and Lalo ever had a baby together its name shall be Breaking Bad lmao.

[ahamkara-apologist]

Alright, can’t reblog without sending a few, so for that ask game I want to know about your bitchless Warlock, Ash!! 3, 7, 9, 10. Sorry Ash I know you have no bitches but just imagine you do for a moment </3

FINALLY...SOMEONE ASKS ABOUT MY WONDERFUL BITCHASS GIRL ASHE. I love her so so much, she's such an asshole and a loser but I haven't really done as much with her as I'd like to (mostly bc Marcie and Aeris are currently being used in DnDestiny, and also bc she's problematic and messy as hell and a bit more personal in some aspects so I keep her close to my chest).

As for Ashe, she's currently bitchless, but she's had a lot of sex in the past. It's trying to get bitches now that she's just a straight-up cringefail wellock for hire in the Last City that's the problem, lmao

3. Do you have headcanons of the intimate or sexual nature? For example, dick size, pubic style. Intimate piercings or jewelry, etc.

-Ashe goes for the good 'ol classic unshaven jungle brush pussy and nothing else. This is mostly because she's usually too busy trying to format new unethical super designs or too drugged/drunk out of her mind to shave it, but even if she had the option, she'd scoff at going through the trouble of shaving to appease someone else. Why'd she even bother fucking them if they can't stand a little hair? She likes it on her girls so she likes it on herself, and fuck you if you think otherwise. General genital shape wise, she has thin lips with droopy inner labia and a clit that kind of pokes out a bit more than most, though it's obv. not on the same level as anyone with elevated testosterone levels

She does have a clitoral hood piercing, because it helps to make her clit stand out more, but she doesn't always remember to keep it in. Especially once she started working with Spider and fucking more Eliskni for glimmer, as their claws kept getting caught on it. Not fun.

7. Would your guardian use light to enhance any encounters?

-Oh yeah. Back in the Dark Ages, she used to sleep around with warlords so that she could sneak into their libraries and steal from their armories, so she got quite good at all the fun little ways that Lightbearers would use their gifts to enhance their time in the bedroom. She's a solar warlock, so for her she usually focuses on heat/soothing/healing and relaxation to make her partner as pliant and as forgiving as possible, but she's just as happy to snap to something more painful in a heartbeat. The one thing she doesn't like is arc, but that's just a personal sensation thing, and involves her being on the receiving end of it vs outright using it

9. Would your guardian pursue a relationship sexual or otherwise with one of the many aliens?

-Considering the fact that the one nsft fic wip I have with her featured in it as a main character is a mock-scientific article that she wrote about mating encounters and sexual compatibility with various Eliksni that she paid to participate in her 'study,' I'd say yeah. She's not an alienfucker like Marcie or Aeris (Aeris bc its interesting and easier with aliens than humans, Marcie bc she's a hopeless romantic who has fallen for Eramis, Caiatl, and then Failsafe one after the other), but she won't ever say no to some good dick. ESPECIALLY because it's so hard to get from these uptight respectable city guardians.

(That study included Taniks btw. She's much more durable than she looks- but she also needed to pop a well during that encounter, lmfao)

10. Group encounters?

-Abso-fucking-lutely. I'm sure she's been in an orgy at least once; the problem now is that again, she's essentially been bitchless since Arrivals, when the anxiety of the encroaching threat of the Witness turned her alcohol/drug usage from something occasional to increase her touch with the Light to an actual problem to cope with her terror of the end of the universe. Now she spends most of her time either knocked out or complaining about how much fun she used to have, so the orgies of the past are now solidly off the table

[its-all-papaya]

🛒 grocery list - please tell us more about how it feels to write max f and his friendship with lando !

LMAO UM. i think the last time i went grocery shopping for real (not just buying coffee creamer, milk, protein bars, gatorade, and red bull/celsius/alani) was like... may? i wish i was kidding. anyway, gonna do that this weekend now that i have a list !

assign me a chore!!

how does it feel to write max f?!!!! scary. i'm in @peargcsly's pm's every evening freaking tf out about him because i'm afraid i'm not doing him and their relationship justice.

that being said ! i looooove him. i'm obsessed with him. if you're in my inbox here you've probably (maybe?) read my other fics and know that i'm notoriously rlly rlly bad at writing in any characters outside of the literal two ppl involved in the ship. i knew off the bat i was going to include a lot of max f in dad lando for practical and like... emotional foil reasons, and i was scared of it (still am) bc i just don't write a lot of side characters. but surprise! i am having the BEST time with their relationship! it's just sooooo soft. as i said in a previous ask or maybe a pm to a mutual(?), max f was always going to be part of this fic bc i cannot imagine a single universe in which lando norris goes through a hard thing and max fewtrell is not there to cheerlead him and remind him what's what. there's a joke in chapter one about ppl thinking lando and max are dating, but unironically, it feels sometimes like writing a ship bc of how much they love each other in this. max just knows lando so thoroughly and loves him and emma so unconditionally. he was there when she was born, and he's been there since, and he's watched lando change and grow in good ways and bad, so he's really instrumental in moving my silly little plot along. there are so many interesting dynamics in this to me (lando/oscar, lando/emma, lando/max, emma/max, eventually oscar/emma), and i think that's what's making it such an enjoyable experience to me. it really feels like i'm building a little world to swim around in, and max is a big part of that bc he's the main through-line in all the stages of lando's life that have brought him to where we encounter him in this fic.

i feel like i'm not even expressing thoroughly enough how DEEPLY soft and gooey i feel about the nortrell in this so uh. have a snippet of My Boys and cry w me maybe:

“Oi,” Lando turns the burner off and sets the pan to cool as he fetches plates from the cabinet, “Not all of us have personal chefs to meal plan for us, mate.”

“I don’t know, both of us on this call do, right, Em?”

“Right!” Emma echoes. Lando doubts she really understands the joke, but there’s hardly anything Max can say that she won’t immediately agree with. It’s not really her fault, she’s got Lando’s own genes, after all.

“Uncle Max, when are you gonna come see me?” she adds when neither of the adults immediately fill the next silence.

The food’s ready, so Lando props his hip against the island and watches Emma as she stares at his phone, even though the screen’s black.

“Oh, soon,” Max doesn’t really make empty promises to her, so she grins at the answer. “I’m back near you this week, we can probably hang out really soon actually. Can I talk to Daddy so we can figure it out?”

“Yes,” she agrees. When she looks up to see him at the counter and not the stove, she pushes back up to her feet to hand the phone back off.

“Thank you, love,” Max says, “I love you, talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay. Love you too,” she answers.

Lando is mostly used to it, but it still hits sometimes – Max calling him Daddy and the soft way he cares for Emma, like there’s no other option. Lando kind of thinks there hadn’t ever been, for Max; he’d looked at Lando, curled silent on the floor of his bedroom and fighting tears instead of actually breaking the news to his best friend, and said “whatever it is, mate, it’s going to be okay and I’m going to be there to help you with it.”

“Hey,” Lando switches speaker back off and pins his phone between his ear and his shoulder, “how was your holiday?”

[yonemurishiroku]

Hi, I've seen a few (jk I've seen a bunch) of your posts and I was just wondering...

If Jason came back to life, would you be pissed that Rick pulled another Leo, or would you rejoice?

OR would you rather Will and Nico bump into Jason in the middle of the book?

Hi! Firstly, thanks for your interest! Let us dissect this one at a time.

For the first question: well, I'd say "pissed" might be too aggressive. I rarely get outraged when it comes to media content (wrecked yes, but rarely angry). I might not like it - that's like. all the time - but I'd most likely be able to leave it alone just bc I hate to care about what I dislike.

That is to say: should it turn out that Jason pulls a Leo, I think I would be more happy than not.

Of course, it depends a lot on how, exactly, Rick pulls it off.

As I've said, it's all about plot and more importantly, to me, logic. If he makes up another sort-of-the Physician's cure and the story basically goes the same way? I would be extremely disappointed. I love parallels but not replays. I hate it more if it's Jason - who's alr been shat on enough for "not having a personality". I'm throwing hands

In the fortunate event that Rick somehow comes up with a new, unrivaled resurrection method for Jason, though? It'd be really nice because I'm pretty sure 9 out of 10 Jason stans would want another chance for him to live a true life. Bringing him back to life - as of now, would do more good than harm, IMO, and maybe idk give the Jasico fans a reason to buy the book Ig

I'm aware of how difficult it is, also. Said resurrection must not be another Leo replica and still has to bypass Nico's children of Hades thing. I barely know about Greek myths and I have nothing in my mind. Let's just Rick has something in store should he decide to play this card lmao.

About the scenario in which Nico and Will bump into Jason: generally, I have no problem with the idea that Jason would make an appearance again. As mentioned: I'd love to see Jason again - in every shape and size, honestly.

However, there're a few I hope would be addressed should it happen that way:

1/ The fact that Nico didn't even try to contact Jason after his death.

2/ How Jason feels after-death, whether he even wishes to be back, how he feels about his funeral and/or Apollo's promise, sort of, etc...

3/ A clear insight into Nico's grief.

And of course: a thorough and reasonable explanation as to why and/or how Nico and Will bump into Jason.

Do they see him in Tartarus? Then why is Jason in Tartarus when he's died as a hero? How he's coping?

Do they meet him in Elysium? Why does Nico (and Will) come to Elysium in the first place? What does their encounter bring? Does Jason help with the quest?

In short: I'm more of a go-with-the-flow type of writer. Generally, I have no problem if things are set the way they should be and the plot doesn't just. kick its own balls I guess. If Rick can make it make sense and stay away from the cliché, I'm sure everything would be just peachy.

[teddybeartoji]

you made me wanna rewatch (can't play) both of tlou games,,

i really loved the vibes of both games mainly, since you can only follow as the story unfolds - i have to admit that while your favorite is the second, mine was the first. i am weak to selfish people, i love selfishness, not necessarily as a default but more as a proof of pure individuality and i am obsessed with the ideas associated with individualism

so when joel made that choice against everything? against the entire world? against himself?? hell, even against ellie herself???? went a bit insane with that

i read the whole thing u just wrote, have to admit it has been a long while since i watched, so there's stuff i didn't get at first because i needed time to remember the names... anyways if i do go through and watch it i'll have to read your commentary again

side note but i love people that really like something and can talk about it in extended detail, i find it fascinating and there's always a new element i can learn

i also have to admit i didn't like abby because well.. an antagonist to the previous protagonists... and since i am the type to side with the protagonist no matter what.. (i actually some bojack analysis videos this afternoon and ig that's the only media for now that challenged that)

well anyways i do remember still siding with her, admiring how strong she was - and when she got close with lev?? say less good lord (i get attached to characters who are trans/have trans implications in media VERY quickly, esp when i watched tlou2 at a time where i was heavily struggling w gender (still am but repressing so it's not as bad))

overall the writing is truly impeccable, i love me some good characterization

i remember watching videos criticizing tlou2, especially its pacing - i think i agreed back then even though to me it wasn't a problem at all while i was watching. as a last info, i'll just say i havent gotten around to watch the series adaptation... i am very scared it'll disappoint and i just loved the games too much it doesn't feel necessary (even though i am the type to want to go through ALL of a media's content usually otherwise it stresses me out)

saw you were having some trouble sleeping, know that you are not alone 🥲 i feel like i'm going insane

~ ☀️

HIII SUNNYYY HIIIIII:333 I OFTEN WATCH GAMES TOO BTWW!!!!! i actually tend to always watch a playthrough as i play a game lmao,, like i'll watch it as far as i've played bc i love to see how somebody else solves the puzzles and the encounters and stuff!!!!!!!!!!

i do still really love the first one too don't get my wrong!!! i think it's fucking revolutionary like it's an incredible fucking game!!!!!!! the choice that joel makes... insane really. i absolutely love it. it does kill me just a little just knowing how much the choice he makes will bear down on ellie........

AHHH I KNOWW I KINDA JUST SPITBALLED i thought abt giving more context to some of the thoughts but i figured then it really would get a little bit too confusing with all the information lmao BUTTT I'M SO HAPPY YOU STILL DECIDED TO READ IT!!!!!! I MEANS SO MUCH ACTUALLY WAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! ILYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i definitely understand why people would be upset with abby, i think that's very very normal and i mean.. i was very upset too lmao but i've just seen so many ppl blatantly hating on her and for what she's done and i think that's the stupidest thing ever honestly. like even if you're mad and sad about joel... you should still be able to look at the whole thing from her perspective right??

like imagine if we never saw ellie's and joel's side; ofc the vaccine is one thing - joel took away even the mere POSSIBILITY of a vaccine and no matter how much ppl wanna bash on the idea of developing one, i think that hope really is something that dies last okay. i don't think the fireflies are wrong about believing in that. idk how much i personally would've been willing to do for the cause but yeah i really don't blame them. so when a mf comes in with the immune kid, only to then kill the ONE person who'd be able to make the vaccine and like a million other fireflies alongside with him..... yeah i mean that just makes him sound like a psycho doesn't it lmao

i think it is enough of a reason to go after him AND AGAIN I DO LOVE JOEL I'M BASHING HIM (lol) BUT I'M JUST TRYING TO LOOK AT THE WHOLE THING FROM BOTH SIDES YK? so i really do hate when ppl don't even TRY to see it from her angle...

TLOU2 IS SOOOOOO WELL-WRITTEENNNN!!!!!!!! like so fucking well!!!!!! it hurts so much and it just keeps punching you in the face but that doesn't make it bad yk? i feel like it's all very very realistic. it's fucked up, but that's just how the world is.

AND LEVV!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOVEEE HIMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! genuinely love the fact that they have a lesbian and a trans character as the main characters (and abby with her physique bc that's just not smth you see all the time either)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i absolutely fucking adored how they handled his storyline. with how abby handled it when the other seraphites called him by his deadname and all that. and when yara told the entire story and then the whole thing with the mom... ahh that really broke my heart he really is my son i love him sm:((((((

i would definitely disagree with the pacing thing actually!!!!! to me it really fit the way the story was progressing yk?? like obviously the start is slow bc ellie and dina are only getting into the city and they have nothing to worry abt other than the few infected as they're looting and tooting around. and then right after they do meet them it all starts getting faster and that too just felt very fitting. bc it was all chaotic!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt like that kept me on my toes even more!!!!

mmm the show.... it had some cool moments. i did really like how they did the bloater scene buuuut overall it was a bit meh actually. i think for me it was too just bc i'm such a big fan of the games. like my hopes might've been too high. and i just hated that they changed so much; like the fact that they don't have spores in that??? that's such a cool detail so idk why they decided to leave it out. i do think that the actors were good though!!!!

but uh i won't be watching the second season. 1. they casted a bunch of zionists as the main ppl so yeah fuck that shit 2. they casted a little like 5'3 skinny actress as abby😐😐like be so fucking serious rn. i think her being jacked as shit is a very important part,, i think it's good to have that kind of a rep but ohh no they just casted the little twig. it's a hard no from me.

OMFG THIS TURNED INTO ANOTHER WORDVOMIT AGAIN HGSAFAGHSHAGSA DAMN ANYWAYY I HOPE I ANSWERED EVERYTHING I FEEL LIKE I'M ON A ROLL SO IT'S A BIT HARD TO ACTUALLY FOCUS LMAO BUT WAAHHH IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE PPL TO TALK ABT TLOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAH MWAH MWAHH ILYY!!!!!!!