#bc that sure sounds like a fp

[software-instxbility]

I hate that i can’t go more than 1h1/2-2h without him

He’s my everything and i actually feel like I’m dead if I’m not talking to him and it is NOT fun (and if not dead, empty and nonexistent) (he’s my anchor to this realm frfr)

On the other hand though it’s good bc it means i love him intensely and will never be the one who’ll break up 😎 (bc I’d kill myself without him) (/hj) (unless…)

[skitskatdacat63]

This race weekend is gonna be weird because since I'm staying up to watch the race, I won't get to experience any of my stress induced nightmares about missing my alarm for the race

[trashlie]

hey this is lil anon again :3 listen we're all so feral about the latest fp episode can i just talk about it some more please and dump my thoughts here bc oh my god so many thoughts 🙏🏾 you can leave my other, longer ask in your inbox for now if you want to it's totally fine bc sdhfgdhfjksdhfk FERAL

PLEASE it is actually soooo funny how maya asks such a simple question: "why is he your friend?" - and shinae just explodes and goes off at the him in her head HISS GROWL I WANT YOU AND IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANYTHING OF MINE and maya just stares at her in shock and disbelief like: 😶😶😶. and you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. how can she possibly put nol and what he means to her and what she feels for him into words??? something something if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more. shinae is so intense and bold and fiery I LOVE THAT SOOOOOO MUCH and tbh compared to shinae, nol is handling his feelings like a champ actually 😹 like at least the tiger hasn't bitten anyone (yet) LMAOOOOOOO he's been holding back a lot, trying his best to stay composed, mortified by his desire to kiss her because how dare he even *think* about that. it's the same intensity, the same feelings at the same time but he's very in his head, meanwhile shinae - the feral little cat - is just completely unhinged and off the rails. it's incredible. poor girl, all these new feelings and realizations hitting her all at once and she's understandably SO ANGRY that she can NOT control it and go back to normal, that he's making her such a mess, passed out on the bed bc it was all too much for her to handle.

you know, before 235 i thought their meeting would be… on the soft/sweet/wholesome(?) side bc of the new shyness and nervousness and vulnerability that comes with these realizations, maybe a through the door conversation without directly facing each other (like i mentioned in my longer ask), but we've kinda had that with the balcony "you're special to me" scene, right. so idk maybe shinae will just storm in there a fiery raging whirlwind of emotions and be all like how DARE you steal my heart and then try to get rid of me and run away, you asshole. IF YOU WON'T GIVE ME BACK MY HEART, THEN I NEED YOU TO BE MINE!!!!! it sounds so dramatic but seeing what all this is doing to shinae, how it brings out the fiery bold possessive assertive side in her, who knows??? she's for sure not letting go without leaving her claw marks on him. as she should.

and YES YES it's def both jealousy and insecurity. i didn't expect it to come up as part of her realization simply bc it wasn't on my mind tbh, but it works so well as part of the ✨realization process✨!! if just platonic then you don't get jealous and insecure, then it (typically) doesn't matter if/who they're dating. but if you can't stomach them being with anyone else but you, if you want them all to yourself, then sorry but that is NOT "friends". and there's definitely a comment here to be made about how alyssa isn't just some random hot girl, she's an idol and as such she embodies what's conventionally attractive and desirable, smth smth beauty standards patriarchy society. and she leaves nol cold but shinae still can't help but become hyperaware of it all bc everything you said ;; i can't get over the "timing" of this scene either bc we see shinae crying happy tears and for a moment she's forgotten her drama but then BAM suddenly there's gorgeous glamorous idol alyssa dancing on stage, and nol is there, looking at her, and they're both at this elite event in this world that shinae is simply not a part of. and. smth smth alyssa being a good dancer nol being a good dancer meanwhile shinae has two left feet. it's like the universe is laughing at her, telling her "she is all that and you aren't, she can have him and you don't". and as if it's not enough, of course it's the girl who gave her all this trauma. of course. how can it not sting her how can she not become insecure honestly ;; i too would immediately lose my appetite :<

(there's also the juxtaposition of shinae being surrounded by unconditional love, a supportive family, in a peaceful home where she can be raw and messy, fully accepted as she is, bags under her eyes and snot on her face and all; meanwhile alyssa is all glammed up, on the tv screen, putting on a performance for strangers that will only ever love her conditionally, that will never know the real her, is in a group that doesn't like her, is in an unsafe environment, surrounded by people who prey on girls like her, no one by her side 😔💔) i also wonder a little bit if not nol himself could (unintentionally of course) play into shinae's insecurity… especially in this initial stage bc like. he's a conventionally attractive dude; tall, handsome, nice smile, he's charming, he's got a rich dad too. shinae isn't stupid she's very aware of this. she's noticed how women reacted to him at the formal. one of them even commented that "he's way out of her league" or smth like that when she saw them together (which :/// shallow rich people talk 🙄)… and when it's friendship then you don't care, and she didn't care back then, and rationally she knows nol is not shallow like that, that she really shouldn't worry about such things, but when you're so young, inexperienced, have low self-esteem, are in such an emotional state, then suddenly you start questioning yourself on this shallow level. why would someone with his looks and money be interested in me, when he could have (and does have) an "alyssa-level" girl? sure he might like me as a friend but would he ever want me like that? it's like when you're crushing on the hot guy you've been friendly with and suddenly become all too aware of the hot girl that all the boys (and girls) have their eyes on. you just can't help but be aware that you're simply not her :/ yeah i think. she's going to need affirmation and reassurance re: what alyssa is/was to him, but i think more importantly, she'd need it about herself, what he likes about her, how he feels about her, that he doesn't want anyone else, that she *is* beautiful in her own way even if she doesn't see it herself, and then she'll hopefully grow more confident from it ~

-feral lil anon 😼

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so sorry it took me all day to get to this response! I could NOT pull my brain together and kept getting distracted and having more feral breakdowns about Stalkyoo alfkajkfjkafjkafjka lmao and then I had to cry about my babies performing tonight and I have been through EMOTIONS but also ALSO I LOVE THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH I'm gonna do my best to do it justice because you ABSOLUTELY bring up things I also want to yell more about!!!!

There's something SO funny to me about how much Nol and Shinae mirror each other. That we now can tell they started to fall for each other at the same time and it just kept growing, that it's on the SAME DAY that they're becoming aware of these feelings, in much the same way - yknow, being so embarrassed to have FEELINGS lmao. But YES Nol does a much better job containing it at all. I want to say it's probably because he's so used to hiding everything, holding things in, but we also know he came so very close to just biting Shinae before he kicked her out lmao and it's not like Shinae hasn't also been decent at pretending things aren't wrong, but MAN she's so beyond her breaking point at this stage, isn't she lmaooooooo She CAN'T contain it - it's too big, too loud, too messy, so carnal. She's been trying for so long to keep shoving it into this box it doesn't fit and it just keeps growing bigger and bigger and spilling out. Something so funny to me about her is that Shinae.... like she kinda externalizes a lot and I'm trying to figure out how to explain this because clearly she isn't good at telling people about her problems, but as a result of being alone so much she talks through her thoughts out loud, to Lil Buddy, so of course for this she NEEDED to externalize to Maya. Because yes, it's so messy, it's spilling out everywhere and the more she tries to make sense of it the bigger a mess she makes and Maya really DID have to put it in words for her. I know I said I wanted Shinae to come to the conclusion without anyone else saying it but I still love how this played out because she still said, OF HER OWN FREE WILL, "If I can't have you" LIKE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also we know that Shinae just has an EFFECT on Nol and while he's doing a good job keeping things at bay, all things considered, I think the moment she goes back to his hospital room it's all gonna just be.... *sweeps papers off the desk* lmao

Another tangential thought I've had is that neither of them have really gotten to BE teenagers. Nol is forever having to play a game of making sure he doesn't make too many waves, doesn't get noticed. Likewise, Shinae has had to be the good girl while her dad is always busy working, not get into trouble, take care of herself, get good grades. Maya goes on to remind us, too, that Shinae didn't even HAVE any social experiences beyond what happened in middle school, just. Rolls with things stopped making friends. There's so many teenager moody things that they've largely missed out on and we're seeing so much of that come bubbling out. Yes, Shinae's moodiness is mostly because girl is CRANKY she hasn't slept she hasn't eaten and she's scaling the walls trying to figure out why she thinks her friend is pushing her away (he's not) and what she has to do to make him stay (figure out feelings) and she's just SO frustrated it all spills out. Relatable. I, too, become an awful monster when I haven't slept LMAO but it's just SO nice to see them have this moment? Get to be selfish and moody and a little bratty when they have spent so long trying to just be good and get by. Let them have a tantrum or three, it's fine!

Also LITERALLY SAME. I thought Shinae would realize her feelings, maybe balk at them, hide away for a day, try to deny them, then become determined and go back to him but too shy to look him in the eyes to face him, yes maybe talk through the door so this was SUCH a surprise but YEAH YOU ARE RIGHT! They already had that tender shy little moment. Now they can just be. Feral lmaooooooo listen idc how corny it is I'm exploring EVERY possibility I can, writing half-baked fic moments in my head. I want Shinae to wake up and go in guns BLAZING I want her to say dumb things she doesn't stop to think about FINE IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF MY THINGS what are you talking about I SAID YOU'RE A THIEF AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON GIVE ME BACK MY THINGS something something there's one thing he can't give back something something you're a thief, too alkfjkfjFKAFKJAKJF SCREAMS I need Nol to just say something SO blunt that makes her stop in her tracks aljakfjkafjafjk lmao I need her confessing in every which way but the words again, until he's standing too close SCREAMS

idk idk idk however it goes I know I'm going to love it because they just are going at it with such equal energy and I'm PRETTY SURE Dieter is going to talk to Nol while Shinae sleeps so maybe that will give Nol the conviction to say what he couldn't, now that Shinae has figured out the answer to "why isn't because friends" enough. Actually, more than anything, I want Nol to end up in the kind of position where he blurts something out without thinking or he acts on his feelings just BLINDLY because I just need him to see that he can't keep running from things and pretending and that Shinae is someone he cannot resist so make the right choices, boy. I need him to understand how much he wants her and deserves to ACT ON THAT ALFJKAFLJAFAJFLKJAFJF RRRRRRRRR FRRTFTT GROWL HISSSSSSSSS

but alfjakfjkfajfka THE INSECURITIES GET TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE because YES at the end of the day it's not just anyone. It's ALYSSA. The very person who gave Shinae her trauma, the person who GAVE HER HER ACTUAL SCAR. It's not the first time Shinae has envied something of Alyssa, either - Alyssa with her warm, beautiful mom and her big home and all her opportunities and her family so suffocating by being parents, Alyssa with her many talents with her intelligence. I really REALLY like the point, too, that it's not just Nol looking at Nol, it's Nol at that party in a world that Shinae is not a part of, doesn't belong to. Logic doesn't stand much against insecurity and jealousy or else she'd be able to remind her that Nol doesn't much like the world he technically belongs to, that Alyssa doesn't make him happy. Somewhere in her jealousy she sees the way she measures to Alyssa in these shallow ways and it hurts to come up short like that! AND RIGHT the girls at the gala saying Nol is out of her league! Shinae is like... aware that Nol is handsome (she literally said VERY handsome) but most of the time it doesn't seem to be a thing she thinks about - mostly because she hasn't really openly thought about him in a romantic way. But now that she's got these feral feelings about trying to keep him and have him and know him and see all the parts of him that he hides from her, she's facing the reality of how she looks to others, compared to him, compared to Alyssa. Sangchul has even implied it a couple times - Nol has a hot idol girlfriend so what is it about Shinae that's so special why is he hung up on her, what does she do that can possibly be better than a hot idol girlfriend.

And if there's something I love it, it's the tender unfurling petals of first love and the insecurity and jealousy that blooms with it, that ache that you aren't good enough that you can't possibly compare, because it leads to the REASSURANCES. Nol has SO many reasons to prefer Shinae, so many reasons to have fallen for her. I REALLY feel like we'll have a callback to that day Shinae asked Nol why Dieter might like to date her, when he told her he has a couple reasons in mind. Like... self consciousness and feeling inadequate is an awful feeling but I LOVE how it can be used in text, because also right: IF PLATONIC WHY FEEL LIKE THIS? Jealousy can be a useful device when it's not toxic and in this case it's someone like Shinae who has never really been made to feel like she's special, who has never seen anything in herself, realizing that she has fallen SO HARD for her friend who has a bombshell girlfriend and is super handsome and himself and comes from this elite world of affluent people. But there's also so much Shinae doesn't know about him yet, either, so much she hasn't had a chance to digest about him. She's seeing things at face value but I need him to tell her to her face that she makes him feel a kind of peace that NOTHING else does, that he cannot help but gravitate to her, that she's LITERALLY made his life worth living. Remind her that even though he was trying to avoid her, he failed SO miserably. Nol didn't get to tell Shinae at the party what he likes about her and DAMNIT I WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!!!!!! Especially because we've seen Shinae's POV of him at this poignant moments, I want to hear from Nol's mouth what he likes about her, the way he sees her. Like her, does he feel like clouds part when she's near, does she make all of the noise quiet for the moment? Does he find himself wanting her to notice more, wanting to steal more of those private moments where they open to each other?

I WANT TO HEAR IT SO BADLYYYYYYYYYYY and I want her to know that she doesn't have to compare herself to Alyssa, that there's no one in that world who has ever caught his attention the way she has. That no amount of money could make anyone from that society better than her. That it's not about any of that - it's about what she makes him feel. Just as much as Nol has had such an impact on Shinae, we've seen it in Nol. I agree that it's far too soon for her to know that he's literally still alive because of her lmao (that's just so much it's so overwhelming!!!!) but there are other ways she's impacted his life. When he told her he really hoped she'd get the job working with them, I think he meant it. Life was more interesting with her in it, he wanted to be around her more before Yui reminded him of what she does.

Like idk to me that insecurity is such a quintessential aspect of puberty and teenage years and first love. That rush of trying to see how others perceive you and the reassurance that comes from the person you like? GOD. And especially for people like Nol and Shinae, who have felt so invisible, so underappreciated, who have never really been made to feel special, having this with each other just LKFJAJKFJAFKAFKAFJLJAFLKJFKf

Also don't think I haven't forgotten about Yujing complimenting Shinae, or that moment when Nol made her laugh during her dance with Kousuke. How he was literally right in her face doing her make up and how it just augmented how pretty she already is. While I don't think he probably has that conscious thinking of it - gee golly Shinae sure is pretty because you know.... *gestures vaguely at his life* i SO BADLY want him to tell her that ;A; that she's beautiful ;A; like to be fair I think something about Stalkyoo that is SO well done is that it's all so deeply based on connection and the way those feelings developed as a result, as opposed to attraction first, but especially in the light of Shinae feeling so jealous and insecure, I want him to saaaaayyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiiiiiit. I want him to tell her how pretty she is when she laughs and lights up, what a beautiful smile she has and that he wants to be the one who makes her smile more I WANT THE CHEESY FUCKING SHIT DAMNIT I DON'T CARE I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND OTHERWISE ALKJAKFJKAFKJAFJKAFAFKJLKJAF SCALES THE WALL SCURRIES ACROSS MY CEILING AND STARTS CHEWING THROUGH MY CEILING FAN

I want him to reassure that there is not ONE way she pales against someone like Alyssa, that she is worth so much more to him ;A; howls

I WANT HIM TO TOUC HER FACE WITH HIS BIG STUPID HANDS AND BRUSH HIS THUMB ACROSS HER CHEEK AGAIN AND CONFESS THAT HE IS SO MISERABLY INCAPABLE OF RESISTING HER AND THAT NO ONE ELSE COULD POSSIBLY COMPARE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER MADE HIM FEEL SO SEEN, FEEL LIKE HE MATTERS, NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER MADE HIM WANT TO BREAK HIS OWN RULES

JUST SCREAMING INTO THE NIGHT

also ;A;

(there's also the juxtaposition of shinae being surrounded by unconditional love, a supportive family, in a peaceful home where she can be raw and messy, fully accepted as she is, bags under her eyes and snot on her face and all; meanwhile alyssa is all glammed up, on the tv screen, putting on a performance for strangers that will only ever love her conditionally, that will never know the real her, is in a group that doesn't like her, is in an unsafe environment, surrounded by people who prey on girls like her, no one by her side 😔💔)

tHAT SHIT HURTED THAT SHIT HURTED ;____________;

Alyssa my tragic, messy girl ;A; I can't help but love the tragedy of her, I can't help but be so invested. The way Shinae and Alyssa have been foiled against each other and how I know we will continue to see this. There's something about... yknow like Alyssa doesn't have FEELINGS for Nol, but I think Nol going from Alyssa to Shinae is SO poignant in a painful way. Alyssa's former crush!!!!! I think in much the same way as we're going to see Nol become all the things Kousuke feared, we're going to see that in Alyssa and Shinae. Like... imagine being Alyssa and watching someone like Shinae capture Nol's attention, capture Yui's attention, capture Kousuke's attention. It's because she's so sincere and faces confrontation head on that people take notice of her, but that's something Alyssa has never really been able to learn. She puts on a brave face like Shinae told her, but she can't do the rest of it. She's so terrified of this secret she holds, of what she is and what people will think of her, and she continues to put on a persona to keep it at bay. Meanwhile I think we're going to watch Shinae walk a path Alyssa never could - find her own success by being authentic and true to herself, not having to live in that shell, that mask. Shinae will do everything Alyssa has never been able to do. ;_______;

And yeah, that juxtaposition makes Shinae's insecurity all the more intriguing to explore because she's so insecure about these shallow things, but Alyssa is insecure about the things that DO matter, the things that make Shinae special, and make Alyssa so forgettable.

;_____________________________________;

gonna go sob now HECK

[fredheads]

can i get uhhhh 2 and 17 and 21 and 24 for the kisses prompts 👀

Yes you can beloved!!! 🤲💖 Only unlike you I started writing each separate and it was taking a very long time bc of work so here is two and I will reblog with two more later ❤️

Hand kisses and tearful kisses under the cut 😊 ft a school dance and a really fucked up bachelor party

2. hand kisses

“Don’t you look handsome!” Bunny Andrews exclaims as soon as she opens the door to find FP on her doorstep. She holds the door wide and ushers him in, beaming at his thrift-store suit jacket whose sleeves ended at his forearms like he’d shown up in a three-piece tux. 

“FRED!” she calls up the stairs immediately. “FP’S HERE!” Bunny turns back to FP, blue eyes glowing as she looks him up and down with her characteristic warm smile. “Look at you,” she says, pinching his cheek gently. “I know why Fred’s going stag to this dance, but you can’t tell me a handsome man like you couldn’t find a date.” 

FP smiles awkwardly, fiddling with a loose thread in his suit pants for lack of anything to do with his hands. Fred’s recent fight with Hermione - culminating in her keying their van in the high school parking lot - had attained almost legendary status in their town by now. Of course, there had been a whole lineup of Riverdale girls waiting to take her place on Fred’s arm at the winter formal, but Fred had asked FP instead. In the eyes of everyone in town they were going stag together, and the plans they had for the back of said van at Miller’s point tonight were between just the two of them. But it still feels embarrassingly close to the truth to be standing here in Fred’s foyer with a suit on, waiting for him to come downstairs so they could show up to a dance together. 

“No one I liked,” he offers with a shrug. Mumbling and shrugging is his go-to with adults as much as it is with his own peers, but Bunny, unlike the rest of the town, isn’t put off by it. She wraps a slender arm around his shoulders and pulls him to her side affectionately. 

“Come on, FP. I know the truth.” 

FP suddenly feels sick, looking up sharply from where he’s been contemplating his less-than-shiny dress shoes. “You do?” 

“Sure do.” Bunny combs his hair back with her fingers, attempting to push it into place. “You’re too good of a friend to let my boy go alone.” 

FP grimaces a smile as she parts his hair for him, trying not to let the heart attack he’d almost had show. “FRED!” Bunny yells up the stairs again. She shakes her head at FP before she checks her watch. “Honestly, that boy. The last time he was early to something was the day he was born. He was supposed to be an August baby, you know. He couldn’t wait. Oh! While we’re waiting, let me go get the camera.” She smiles apologeticaly and squeezes his arm. “I know I’m being an embarrassing mother, but you’ll want these pictures one day. Mark my words.” 

She zooms off into the kitchen just as FP hears Fred’s bedroom door open upstairs. He glances up at the staircase that leads to the second floor just as his best friend comes into sight on the landing. 

Fred smiles at him - huge and beaming - the second their eyes meet, and any minor incovenience FP felt about his tardiness vanishes like it had never happened. He starts down the stairs, and all the breath gets sucked out of FP’s lungs. He stands still on the hallway carpet, frozen, feeling his heart pumping, his head buzzing and his ears ringing as though all the sound has left the universe. 

Fred’s in a black suit with a crisp white shirt and bowtie, every inch of his outfit dazzlingly bright and looking as though it was made to fit his body. His hair is parted perfectly and gelled back, not a strand of brunette out of place. His face is clean and rosy and glows like a candle, but rather than having a childlike effect, it emphasizes the masculinity in it: his jawline, his brow, the lines of his cheekbones. He’s so handsome that it feels unfair, and the smile on his face just makes it worse. That smile makes FP’s stomach float and his knees turn to butter. 

He didn’t know a human being could be that handsome, so audaciously perfect and spotless and stunning. He feels like his jaw is hanging open. His eyes roam greedily over every inch of Fred, not ever coming into contact with anything less than perfection. Suddenly he feels tiny and shy. How could he ever think he was good enough for this person? 

He’s frozen in place as Fred walks towards him, hand on the banister, grinning his gorgeous smile like he has no idea he’s putting the stars in the sky to shame. No idea he’s the very picture of masculinity right now, or that he’s more beautiful than anything FP ever thought he deserved to see. His brown eyes gleam like mahogany in the twinkling lights from the living room’s christmas tree. 

When he stops before FP, whos only just gaining feeling in his limbs again, he drops effortlessly into a bow, grasping one of FP’s cold hands and bringing the back of it up to his lips. He looks up at FP through his eyelashes as he kisses the skin, the press of his lips leaving a patch of burning heat. Then he straightens up again, each movement as precisely calculated as a dance, and drops FP’s hand with a smile just as Bunny comes back in the room with the camera. 

FP can feel himself blushing, which is not something he does often. His face and the skin of his neck feels like its on fire. Fred winks at him before he turns to his mother, who fusses immediately with his bowtie and his hair. “Go stand next to the tree,” she orders them, and FP allows Fred to pivot him into place, heart still pounding hard, and all the more so when Fred wraps his strong arms around him from behind and clasps his hands over FP’s stomach. The smell of his cologne envelops FP as Fred puts his chin down on his shoulder, grinning for the camera. At least FP assumes he is. He’s focusing all his energy on trying to breathe normally with Fred’s body weight pressed up against his back, hoping the way he feels like shaking all over inside doesn’t translate to his body. 

Bunny tuts. “Fred, can’t we take a nice photo, please?” she scolds him as Fred’s freshly-shaven cheek collides with the side of FP’s face, nuzzling there like a cat. “FP’s been waiting for you, and you’re goofing off.” 

“Just take one like this,” Fred urges, breath tickling FP’s earlobe, his hands never moving from where they’re cradling the hollow of FP’s stomach. Bunny sighs, and the camera flashes obediently, a soft click undoubtably capturing FP’s face in the same red as the Christmas ornaments forever. 

“Now stand next to one another, please,” she orders, so Fred’s hands slip obediently away from FP’s belt, and FP takes the deepest breath he’s taken all night. They pose as any straight guys would: hands in pockets, arms folded, chins tilted confidently, FP pretending with all his might that his knees aren’t still weak from when Fred kissed his hand. It shouldn’t feel this way - he’s had Fred’s mouth on most places on his body by now. But that hand kiss had nothing to do with the kind of sex they had all summer in their van - not that he was complaining about that. But the way Fred had kissed his hand had nothing to do with sex at all.  

That hand kiss was romance. That kiss said I want you and only you. 

Now he gets it. How Fred gets all the girls. 

You’re so stupid, the familiar voice of self-hatred speaks up in FP’s mind as the shutter clicks. It doesn’t mean anything to him. He’ll ditch you at the dance for the first girl he sees. 

But he catches Fred’s eye and sees him smiling; Fred who chose him tonight, who kissed his hand like he was one of those very same girls and who made him feel special and beautiful in his four-dollar suit. Fred who’s all his until the sun goes down. 

And the voice gets a little quieter, just for now.

/

21. tearful kisses

“What was it like?” Fred’s shifting the wood around in the campfire, eyes glued to the embers. His voice comes out flat, but at least they’re talking. That’s something. They’d exhausted small talk in the first few hours he’d been back, and the drive up to the campsite had been choked with painful silence, years of things sitting between them that neither was ready to say. Here was an olive branch. “Basic training?” 

“I wasn’t really there for long,” FP admits. It’s the first time he’s admitting that out loud. The old shame closes over his heart like a fist, but it’s a little easier saying shameful things to Fred. Always has been. He kicks at the bottlecap he’d dropped onto the dirt. “Kicked me out about six weeks in. Dishonorable discharge.” 

“Six weeks,” Fred repeats. When FP looks at him he sees something in Fred’s face that jars him right back to high school: hurt. His brown eyes are full of pain, and there’s an upset surprise there too, a bit of the shocked, wounded look Fred used to get when FP would disappoint him. But there’s something cold in them too, something darker than FP remembers. The injury in his gaze seems to change almost immediately into sad resignation. “Then where did you go?” 

“Around. But I wanted to come back,” FP clarifies, understanding Fred wasn’t really asking about his travels. “I did. I meant to. But I wasn’t ready.” 

“You wanted to.” Fred repeats quietly. 

“Are you just going to repeat what I say?” 

“You joined the army for six weeks,” Fred replies, his voice dripping with venom. “It’s been seven years. My dad was dying. I had no one left. And you left after six weeks and went around.”

“I needed the time-”

"I NEEDED YOU!"

Fred screams it. A ringing silence follows, in which an owl screams somewhere off in the dark. Fred stares at him across the flickering fire and then quickly turns away, wiping his face furiously with his hands. 

“I needed you,” he repeats, voice ragged as glass. “I needed you, FP.” 

FP looks down at his boots, the hand gripping his bottle of beer in a death grip. Contemplates the fucked up tragicomedy of his pathetic little life. How no matter what he tried to do, it always fell short. Fred’s still turned away from him, and that makes it easier to say what he does next. 

“I never stopped loving you, Fred. I left so I could stop, but I didn’t.” 

Anger lights in Fred’s face, enough that he turns immediately back to him and looks FP square in the eye for almost the first time since his train had arrived. “Oh, don’t say that. Don’t you say that now.” 

“What does it matter now?” FP asks, digging in his heels. He shrugs, though his shoulder stay hunched up by his ears, betraying the nonchalant gesture. His hand trembles on the bottle. But he means what he says. “You have Mary, and I’m glad it worked out like that. It’s good for you. She’s good for you.” 

“You don’t get to tell me whos good for me,” Fred answers. His tone is calm, but the words tremble with a thick undercurrent of danger. Of rage. “You don’t get to sit there and say my life worked out for the best. You weren’t here! You don’t know anything about my life! You weren’t here when my dad died. You weren’t here when everyone left for college. You weren’t here all those nights I CRIED OVER YOU!” He strikes both thighs with his balled up fists, his face turning crimson in the firelight. “All those nights I worried you were DEAD! The times I wished I WAS DEAD! You weren’t here all those days and months and years that I drove back and forth from that construction site wondering why the fuck you ran away from me! What the fuck my life was even for! You weren’t here when I was fighting to put food on the table for me and my mom because were are the only ones left after my dad died. You weren’t here when it happened, when I NEEDED MY BEST FRIEND! FUCK ALL THE REST, YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND, FP!” He screams the next words, cords standing out in his neck, hurt in every syllable. “I NEEDED MY BEST FRIEND AND YOU WEREN’T THERE!” 

Fred sniffs, his voice breaking on the last word. His face is red, tears streaming down his cheeks as fast as he can wipe them away. FP feels sick just watching it. 

“And now, what?” Fred stammers, wiping his face. “After you broke my heart? After you said we could never be together? You come back and you say you still love me?” Fred throws his hands down, tears running freely down his face. “You still LOVE ME? THAT’S WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY? SEVEN YEARS LATER?” 

“Just forget it then!”

“I can’t!” Fred screams, his voice breaking. “How could you say that to me when you know that I can’t!” 

“Why not?” FP yells back. 

“You know why I can’t. You know.” Fred puts a shaking finger out in his direction, keeping FP at arm’s length. “Don’t you come here the day before my wedding and ask me to say it.” He runs his hands through his hair and over his face, scrubbing away the tears. “I can’t get married tomorrow,” he whispers, more to himself than FP.

“Don’t you dare,” FP says quickly. That’s not why I came here. I didn’t come to blow up your marriage-” 

Fred gets up and slaps him. There’s not a lot of power behind it, but it’s hard enough to snap FP’s head around, a red mark stinging raw on his cheek in the cool air. 

“That’s great,” Fred says in a voice that’s cold and unfamiliar. He massages the palm of his hand with his opposite thumb. “You come here and tell me you’re still in love with me the day before my wedding, but then you say you don’t want me after all. That’s just like you. I don’t know why I expected anything else.” 

“It’s not that,” FP says through gritted teeth. “I'm not good for you. We've always known that.”

“Is that the self-loathing the army was going to train out of you?” Fred folds his arms, looking older and stronger in a way FP doesn’t recognize.

“I thought about you every day, Fred,” FP says, looking up at him. “All seven years.” 

“STOP IT!” Fred shoves him with both hands, then. FP falls off the log he’s sitting on and lands on his back in the dirt. He stares up at his best friend, whose silhouette is dark and solid against the sky. 

“You come back and you talk to me like nothing's changed between us. Like I haven't lived a whole life without you. Like I haven't finally moved on. I was finally happy, FP.”

“Then why invite me to your wedding?” 

“Because I thought about you too,” Fred says, his voice breaking. “Of course I thought about you. You're my best friend. You're supposed to be.”

FP stares up at him. His pulse is beating furiously in his neck. Fred crouches down, and for an insane moment FP thinks he’s going to climb into his lap and kiss him. But he just reaches out and offers a hand. FP takes it, and Fred pulls him gently to his feet. 

“Fred-” FP says softly, his own throat closing with a lump. 

“Stop it.” 

There’s a muscle trembling in Fred’s jaw when he turns his face away. For a moment he looks so much like Artie that FP feels like he’s dreaming. FP stands there, staring at his profile, the tears spilling over his cheekbones that he doesn’t have a right to wipe away anymore. He can hear himself breathing in the quiet of the woods. And then just when he’s about to step back to give Fred his space, Fred turns and seizes him by the ears and kisses him, so hard that pain explodes in FP’s nose from where their faces smash together.

/

[yakultii]

no because why did I literally just become conscious of the way in which the name sounds when said out loud of my ex fp who I dated for yrs but was also just my best friend for even longer(no longer).. I just realised that I was so close to someone with this name and I’d never considered their name objectively before bc my mind intertwined us as one and now it has reached my consciousness and my brain is like why would I ever be so close to someone with this name like not that I wouldn’t, I have nothing against the name at all, but why would I. Ive never known someone with such a name, how could it be true? I never connected their name to their being. It was just so natural to refer to them but now it seems so foreign. Or maybe it wasn’t like this before and this is just healing? I don’t know this person anymore. Or do I ? It all seems so fake. I just searched them up to make sure they were real. I don’t know them anymore. Is this healing? Or have I lost touch with something, someone that was an integral part of me? Or did I never know this person at all? Did I only know the version of them I created? Is that not the only version I could know? Maybe all these things can be true at once. Damn being human hurts sometimes. Idk why. but also it’s not that bad.

[rexitheskwerel]

Ok so my friend got me into this game back in January of this year called Alchemy Stars

I've been playing it almost every day since then and I absolutely LOVE it

I really like this new feature they added to the character list where you can mark which ones are your favorites bc I really wanted a way to gather all the ones I like the mostest

Like just look at how hot these characters are!!

And their voices?! OH MY GODS do they sound awesome!!!

Sure I have no idea what they're saying half the time bc it's all in a language I don't speak, but there's a bunch of audio files with translations in their character files, so I can just go look up what they said later (and hear it again)

And the gameplay is so great for me!

I'm absolute garbage at most kinds of games.

Minecraft? Barely passable play skills for multiplayer. Survival games? Nope. Rhythm games? No way. FPS? Absolutely not. Sides scrollers or platformers? Nu-uh. Strategy games? I'm pretty smooth-brain. Matching games, word search, pattern recognition games? That's more my speed.

However, this game is a strategy game I CAN play. The strategy is based on using patterns on a multicolor grid to effectively utilize your characters' abilities.

No quick-time events, no rhythm challenges, no timer counting down, no stupid ads every other time I tap the screen.

And there's side content too!

There's this thing called Cloud Garden where you can grow plants, catch fish, talk to your Aurorians (characters you can use for battle), gather wood and stone and make various furnitures and decorations for the area.

I love how cute and peaceful everything is there!

And similarly, there's the Colossus (the one that's with you through the whole game as your parental unit/home) which is an area where you can interact with Aurorians, decorate a little, gather resources and craft stuff for other parts of the game, get presents from Aurorians, and generally watch them hang out.

I just really love this game so much!!!

I really wish I was friends with more people in this game, especially ones who actually use the Cloud Garden (like no one but me seems to use it).

[shadethechangingman]

Salty Ask Meme: #1, #3, #20 and #31?

ok finishing those hater asks late

1.How has DC/Marvel/publishing company wronged you, specifically? everytime orion shows up in a comic its a crime. against me. but also like EVERY comic they announce sounds so bad these days. ok personal attacks against me RECENTLY

cancelling ram v's the swamp thing (so so good)

cancelling future state gotham (THE COMIC SUCKED. BUT i stand by red bat hunter and there are so many batman titles just leave this one!! for me.)

rebooting batman inc FINALLY but destroying the characters giving them all 1 skintone and introducing 400 new characters in the first 2 issues instead of just. DC PUBLISH NIGHTRUNNER: LOVE IN PARIS OR ELSE

khalid's future scares me w JSA and then batman w the fate helmet... also i have to be honest i hate his costume. its really bad. hoodie and jeans were somehow better

get constantine away from the JL and the superheroes! you have zatanna and dr fate!!!!!

dc v vampires and DKofsteel being 3984032432 chapters long w spinoffs and ONE jurassic league comic (jurassic league still deals w a trope i dont like (jl vs darkseid) but i will accept it bc the comic is so silly)

employing the toms

whatever piss shit black label is i hate to be "edgy" but its lacking the like.. grostesque and wild of it all. black label could never do face or kid eternity etc

so many more things im sure if i thought harder

3. Who is your most hated comics writer? ok if it wasnt obvious. TK. caus frankly i think "ex-CIA" is a valid reason alone to dislike him but on top of it i do think the misogyny racism xenophobia is unavoidable in his comics and while i hear "but he works w the best artists!' a lot frankly i dont think any of the artists he's worked with really did particularly memorable work on the interiors except bilquis evely tbh. and like that shit was a book there was so much text i barely had time to look at the art!!!!! frankly also someone told me they think he only watches the cartoons and as time goes on i start to believe that more

20. What’s the worst superhero team? I HATE THE JSA!!!!! and inf inc. nostalgia circlejerk for the good ol days with a ridiculously large cast that doesnt have any reason being on screen together outside of a "BUT WE'RE FAMILYYYYYY"x1000. w inyfinity inc the like smugness of "HEH we're the REAL heroes becuase our parents were heroes" in the appearances of them ive read just annoyed me

31. What’s the worst animated/live action adaptation you’ve seen? YJ for sureeeeee the misogyny racism ableism and absolutely the worst version of every character it adapts. and since it spans such a large amount of the dc universe which SHOULD be awesome for a cartoon but it manages to fuck it up every single way. dogshit art. dogshit designs (ok i remember not minding metron + FP's but every other design in the show PUKE). dogshit characterization. "its a reimagining-" and its a bad one

[shoutmonishere]

I swear im still working on the in-between fic for my timeline's world 12 and 13

But for now, behold—

World 16-7 spoilers under the cut

"....Mory..." The princess began shuffling uncomfortably in her seat. "Where's Amory...?" She managed, finally bringing herself to look up at her sister...

Or perhaps someone that looks scarily close to her...? That's something that could happen according to Elvira, right? She still wasn't sure.

"You dont need to worry about that," Her sister finally spoke up. "What's important is that we've finally reunited." She leaned towards the table, smiling so softly, so gently, so lovingly at her.

"Then we're going to finally live happily ever after here, together." She continued on with her currently one sided conversation.

"No more royal duties... And honor..."

"We can just forget all of them and be happy."

The Princess nervously clenched at her dress. How can she say that when everyone's hurting right now...?

"Because i'll protect you for the rest of your life."

No, no she can't just sit in silence forever, she has to do something now.

"Stop..." The Princess managed to murmur. "Im begging you, please stop..." This time, she said more tearily.

"When i found out you were the Invader Commander, I was so confused and scared.... But also relieved." She clenched her dress much harder as she averted her gaze from her long lost sister. "Because all this time, I.... No, We prayed that you'd be safe."

Eva, Amory, all of the Guardians that survived the Kingdom's collapse prayed so.

"But then all of a sudden, you said that you'd kill Amory..... And i was so afraid that you'd turn into an invader." She then looked back at her sister, sitting in silence with her thinking face that the Princess had grown so accustomed to while growing up.

Usually it would look kinda funny to her, but...

"Right now, you seem like the same sweet, warm sister that i remember..." The Cammie in front of her felt so familiar, yet so foreign to her; it's almost scary.

"A-and im so confused and i dont know what to think about this..."

She thought that she would have so much to ask, so much stories to tell, so much things to say to her beloved sister.

Though one thing really lingers in her mind.

"Big sis..." She muttered. "A-are you... Are you really my big sis...?"

After so long, her older sister finally breaks her silence.

"Whatever happened; whatever happens," Cammie began. "I care about you the most, and that will never change."

"T-then please... Tell me the truth..." She stammered. "Where's Mory...? Do... Do you really have to fight them for the reasons you said earlier...?"

Cammie eventually got off her seat, turning her back at her.

"My little star... Can we talk for a moment...?"

~~~

Author's note:

Not a big fan of Camilla calling LP "my little cutie", mostly because it sounds weird to me... Which is pretty typical since this is translated from korean and there might be translation errors here and there— BUT BACK TO THE POINT HERE- ig?-

Decided to call LP a little star here bc 1.) She's truly the most radiant little sweetheart, 2.) She finds us star pieces, and 3.) She- and by extension FP- are Light element heroes/characters.

[wolviecore]

Some trans Jughead headcanons bc I got inspired:

He knew really young that something was just out of place, not only with himself but also how everyone treated him

" Forsthyia, baby can you -" " No, " itty bitty baby pointing at his chest, " Not Forsthyia. Forsythe" and FP nods like, ok I got it

" so hey we have a son now, just thought you should know" Gladys is confused. Did you try stealing that Fogarty kid again?? "

No I mean, we have a Forsthye now."

Gladys doesn't really get it, but since she doesn't plan to stick around that much, doesn't really mind.

Mostly she's bothered bc they bought all those " girl" things for nothing. " We could always donate them or give them away." " That sounds kind and charitable. Let's just have another kid."

Everyone takes it really well, - Archie changes the sign of their tree house from A + B + F to A + B + J

" Jughead? You sure?" " Yep!" " ... Cool. Hey dad, I want to change my name too!"

Alice tells Betty not to get any ideas, but also makes sure Jughead only comes over when when Hal isn't home (small mercies)

Jug inheriting some of Archie's hand me downs like shirts and jeans and overalls, but also some of FP's. He drowns in everything but they're great to sleep in

Because I love the Jangs friendship, Fangs also takes some of his younger siblings' clothes and leaves them on the Jonses' doorstep ( FP sees him several times but never says anything)

His discomfort grows when he does. The first time he experiences body disphoria is when he's a junior and Jason Blossom sneaks a hand on his thigh in English. " You're a good writer, right? Maybe you can help me out." (Jason is like lowkey creepy sorry not sorry sjsj)

He runs away, and maybe his small fists won't leave the bruise Jason deserves, but the shock on his face is priceless

He does get detention, but is that a spark of approval in Weatherbee's eye? " And you can tell your father Jason will get a hefty suspension. Mister Jones."

Betty gets suspended for knocking two teeth out of his mouth and surprisingly enough Alice doesn't comment on it

Archie takes him out for milkshakes later that day, " want an awkward bro hug?" " always" " and do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because I can totally kill that guy for you" " nO"

Cheryl specifically comes to apologize to him, in her own way. " You're the only boy I tolerate in this God forsaken breeding ground of drama and social cooties."

The Bulldogs were bad before (bc they have crushes on him) but now, it got a bit worse. However Jug does take some comfort Reggie remained the same

One of them does make a comment about doing things to his chest, visible even through 2 layers of shirts. But said creep gets suspended from the team and an anonymous benefactor leaves a binder in Jug's locker a week later, with a note.

'' If you're going to be annoying, at least be comfortable about it."

Reggie isn't very subtle because when he pins Jug to lockers or hits him he avoids his chest even if Jug never mentioned anything

By the time he's a sophomore he still can't use the boys lockeroom, - not that he desperately wants to, Archie and Kevin have enough horror stories to fill a Stephen King book about them

so at PE, Cheryl, Veronica and Betty make sure everyone either gets dressed before he arrives, or wait for him to finish before going in

Eveeyone who matters knows he's homeless once it happens. Archie finds out first, but doesn't want to embarrass Jug, nor offer help upfront since it'll most likely go unaccepted, but they help in small ways

Betty invites him over to slumber parties with Polly and Veronica. Cheryl can't always be present because Penelope still holds a grudge to the punch incident

But while they're there, Alice keeps FP informed of his well being and promises he'll be okay. Also makes sure to pack food for Betty to stuff in his backpack when everyone's asleep

Cheryl and Veronica help with the more uncomfortable stuff. Leaving tampons or other hygiene products for him to find once a month, or asking the janitor or the school nurse to say " they just found them around"

There's also the Book. Nefarious. Pretty much all the girls are in it, safe for Cheryl and Betty, who apparently are way too gay to be believable

But Jug is there too, in Jason's neat handriwiting next to Polly and thats how Archie and Reggie get suspended for the rest of the year

When the whole Jason thing happens everyone thinks its Archie and FP who did it. Jug would concentrate on that but the tall Southside boy is distracting

His family is super worried when the transfer happens bc the Southside isn't the most tolerant part (no part in Riverdale is, but) with tough boys and girls which Jughead. Isn't.

Fangs being unreasonably happy when Jug wears a shirt he knows for a fact was his own a while ago. " Good to know you finally grew into it." Jug doesn't know what he means by that, and pouts. " Is that a short joke?"

Jug being surprised they know who he is, - he expected them to remember FP's daughter, but not him. Toni scoffs. " Are you kidding? FP can't keep quiet about his amazing writer son. It remains to be seen if you live up to the hype."

Jug rejecting Sweet Pea's quarry invite because he doesn't want to out himself

he can see Sweet Pea took it personally tho, so he uses some of his savings to buy cake mix and decorate some cupcakes terribly, which he leaves them in the beat up locker next to his.

Precisely not staying with the serpents bc he doesn't think sweet pea likes him, and if he found out about the detail that could make or break his experience at this school, would downright detest him

Toni and Fangs know but say nothing to Sweet Pea bc its not their place, but also, they can tell he sees this as a challenge and it's a good distraction from Josie

Sweet Pea sees Toni and Jug walking together from the girls' bathroom and thinks they have a thing? Which is weird considering Toni hasn't stopped mooning about Jugs scary redhead friend

Maybe he knocks over Toni's motorcycle after, maybe he doesn't. " You're a loser." " Your face is a loser."

It's not only Toni thought. One time he asks Jug (read: corners him) why he won't get in the locker room with the boys and Jug speaks even less to them after

Which results in Fangs not speaking to him either. " Are you blind, or just stupid?" " What are you talking about? " " Not my place to say. Just know that you're a dumbads and really not helping your case."

BONUS points if Sweet Pea had a crush on Jug before he transitioned and may not recognize him now, but also keeps a picture of a girl patching his knee in his lockeroom door

And then Jug remembers him as well and doesn't speak to his " playground husband" at all

[askaborderline]

hi! <3

i'm in need of some advice about the concept of "examining the evidence" when i feel unloved by my fp

i have plenty of these evidences, a lot of screenshots and even audio recordings of her telling me how much she loves me, but i keep feeling like these "expire" extremely quickly in my head

if it has happened around more than 3 days ago its like my mind decides that it's out of date now, her feelings must have changed, we're falling apart etc.

how can i convince my brain to "extend" these expiration dates?

Hi anon,

I'm afraid a lot of the advice I could give here may sound fairly useless or obvious, but I'll give it my best shot here anyways...

Renew your supply a lot! Something your FP said made you feel warm and fuzzy? Screenshot! Do this as much as you need, all the time! Make the folder big! These constant updates will give your brain a little tickle, and should you be unable to extend the expiration dates any other way, that should help a bit!

As for actually extending these dates... April's suggest pro/con lists somewhere around here, and those are excellent - taking the time to write down concretely (and as objectively as you can) "these are the good things they do that show they care" and "these are things I can solidly prove are reasons they don't care" can help, bc oftentimes, if you only stick with things you know would hold up to external scrutiny, finding a number of "reasons they don't care" becomes a lot more difficult!

Also maybe try to catalogue big events in the past where you thought her feelings of you would change and they didn't?? Like, if you ever admitted something and thought that would make it all fall apart and it didn't, writing that down in a list with everything else might help a lot. Help you see - "Wow, they really haven't run off even with all this, maybe I'm okay"

Also, (so long as they're okay with it ofc!) asking your FP for reassurance is not a bad thing! If they understand your condition, I'm sure they'll be more than willing to do so :)

Cheers, Jane

[nightroo]

I’m considering making a short animation to a song clip, where there would be a fight scene with Lykena and some bots. I decided to test if I’m even capable of animating her fighting, and not to sound full of myself but I think I can lol

Before I started I looked for an inspiration for the style of combat I wanna show (like if it’s gonna be more realistic or more stylized, and if stylized how much, etc.). I found the first trailer for RWBY, which I saw first when I was like 12 and I’ve come back to from time to time, because the animation there is absolutely beautiful. I won’t start going into details bc I’ll just start rambling but all I’ll say is it’s a shame the show doesn’t use the same style (probably bc the creator, Monty Oum, unfortunately died in the middle of production).

I’m still not sure of the framerate on this tho... I started with 15 but it felt slow, ramped it up to 20, which looked good but I animated too many frames and you wouldn’t be able to see like a third of them at that speed, so I ended up with 17 fps.

I might not do the music video bc I never animated something to an existing sound, and it’s been a very long time since I made something longer than a few seconds...

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. Can we talk about how Semele was like, forgotten?  😐

I mean, better for us, I don't want to see what RS will do with Dionysus 🙃

2. are we sure the art team on lo actually likes it tho bc i see the current art and it looks like a hot mess. tho maybe thats just bc the sketches arent good and her instructions arent clear? idk i would think putting the best product forward esp on a work i like would be better than having it be so rushed and kinda bad?? her name is the only one who is on it at the end of the day so i guess they really have no reason to make it look good when she takes the credit for it.

3. also like ... of course rachel can (supposedly) crank out a panel in 30 minutes, its HER style and SHE knows what she wants, but the team, especially a newbie, DOESNT, so how could they know what exact time saving tricks she uses or her work flow? theres so many factors that go into pay and shes to be basing it off herself, as opposed to the differences in her assistants and the fact it has to be done in a small amount of time. also kinda weird none of her team seems to be long-term but 🤷🏿

4. girl, her last two editors QUIT webtoons after working with rachel, despite them even getting promotions. that on top of the high turnover rate in her art team is a bit concerning, ngl.

5. i dont think rachel was being malicious, but i do think she was aware she was underpaying for the amount of work she was asking for, because turning off comments and replies pretty much immediately gives that away, as well as going through her social media accounts instead of actual artist networks of which there are countless avenues to do so (including through webtoons itself). i dont think shes evil for it, but it seems more a case of being careless over being fair, IMHO.

6. i just wanna talk about that one art assistant rachel had in 2019(?) that literally drew LO porn and that was like, the only one she actually promoted. what a weird summer that was.

7. obvs you'd raher have people who are passionate about the comic work on it and all (tho going off the editors for LO they dont like it) but, and this is not an insult to them, but is the sketches and instructions rachel giving them just not good? because ive checked out some of their instagrams and they make lovely work, even better than rachel's old stuff, but the actual comic's art is just... bad? i really dont see how they have such creative man power behind it and it still looks like that?

8. Oh GOD can you imagine RS portraying the Trojan War in the LO universe??? It sounds like a trainwreck that I would absolutely love and hate to see

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

9. (FP) girl i swear if rachel introduces hypnos just to pull the "wah look at thanatos the unloved twin" i might actually lose it. theres only like three things to thanatos in myth and one is that nyx loves him and him and hypnos are as close as can be. she already ruined the loving sibling relationship between apollo and artemis so can we just hope she doesnt ruin another one too

10. FP// I also found it very forced to now say Hades is actually the father figure to Thanatos because we saw since Than's first intro Hades belittled him, and Than p obvs didn't like or respect him and it's so like I get it's put in to try and justify Hades' favoritism towards Persephone (which is dumb) but its done so poorly and only makes Hades look worse. Also it implies he'd be a terrible father if when taking care of a child he just makes them a servant then treats them terribly as an adult.

[scourgefrontiers]

im going to make a hot take about art from my own experiences growing up as an artist online. here we go

i feel like as the years have gone by, kids have sort of lost the ability to have Fun with their creations like they used to. what i mean by this, for example, is how we used to design sparkledogs that were butt-ugly and animations in ms paint/wmm that sucked but we loved them. we didnt care if they Looked Good or not. at least not at the time. sure a lot of us look back and cringe at our old stuff now but at the time of making them we were living our best lives

nowadays it seems like theres way more of a pressure to Be Good at what u do rather than just..doing it bc its fun and enjoyable, regardless of quality. yknow?

lemme use kids' ocs for an example. ~back in my day~ (so like 2000s/early 10s) we made whatever tf ocs we wanted. all mine were scene/edgy/emo/etc. design disasters with wacky powers and ppl seemed to like them. /i/ liked them. but if a kid tried making the same ocs today, they'd get shamed and put in a cringe comp for it. theres a pressure to make Good ocs that "make sense" more than to just have fun with, and i see this a lot everywhere (looks at db fandom)

this happens on youtube too. animation memes, when i was younger, were just wmm/ms paint monstrosities that were like 2 fps shitty drawings of a rainbow dog lipsyncing to a dane cook bit. AND WE LIKED IT!!! but now if your 10 second animation meme isnt disney quality it gets like no views or worse gets attacked and shat on. that just doesnt seem right to me

having said all this, i do acknowledge that kids today have way more programs/resources available to them for learning so of course their stuff is going to be different! a lot of what im talking about is a product of its time after all; we worked with what we had, and kids today have a lot more thank god. while it makes me very happy, it also saddens me b/c with those resources comes pressure to be Good. its no longer enough just to have fun and like what you do b/c its yours and you made it and you think its fun. you have to have other ppl's approval or else its shit and u cant have fun with it anymore. and i dont think thats right

forgive me for sounding like an old fart in this post LOL im trying not to. but those are just my thoughts on the whole thing, i got to thinking abt art styles thru the years and this is where i ended up. thanks for reading

TL;DR: kids dont have fun with art like they used to despite having more access to resources to learn and grow b/c of pressure to be good at their craft instead of just having fun and im sad

[cacoetheswriting]

miscommunication - fp jones

Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, biiig age gap (age of reader not specified but let’s say the reader legal),  Word Count: 865 Request: anonymous: “can i pls get a hc/fic where reader left her phone after staying over at his place bc she's rushing to school and he read her texts with her ex then when she came back to his trailer they had a huge fight bc fp was so jealous and thought she was cheating on him? he tried to call her to apologize but she didnt pick up then he went to her house when her parents arent home to apologize face to face? angst to fluff pls tysm”

-

“You have got to be kidding me?” You breathed out in a heavy sigh. “You are being ridiculous.” 

“I saw the texts Y/N so don't even try to deny it.” The brooding man responded;  anger levels spiking with every spoken word. You were cheating on him. With your wiseass ex nonetheless. “Hey gorgeous. Thank you for last night, I really needed that.” FP recited one of the texts he read earlier on your phone from memory. 

“We studied you idiot!” You replied, throwing your hands up in the air. FP scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Sure you did.” “God, I can't believe we are having this conversation right now.” The blood in your veins began to boil to match the energy FP was radiating. Agitated, you ran your fingers through your hair - who would have thought that leaving your phone at his trailer, like you did so many times before, would lead to this. 

“Nothing is going on.” You stated placing your hands on your hips. 

“Than why were the texts so flirtatious?!” FP asked, clear sound of resentment in his voice. 

“Because that’s just how we are!” You screamed back catching him off guard, your arms fell back to your sides. “That’s how I am with everyone FP, just ask your own son.” 

It was clear that the older man didn't believe you. It came as no surprise to you since he always seemed threatened by your ex. As if he thought it was only a matter of time you would leave and get back together with that douchebag. 

“Seriously Y/N?! That’s your excuse!?” “It’s not a fucking excuse FP!” “It’s pathetic.” He gritted through his teeth. You blinked. Did he really just say that? 

“Honestly FP, fuck you. I’m so fucking done with you right now.” “Oh, you’re done with me?!” He jeered. “Yes! Because you are the one pulling accusations out of your ass and acting like a fucking child!” You yelled, glaring at the older man in front of you. “If anything I should be the one that’s angry! You went through my phone, my private messages! That’s so fucking high school of you, and you're supposed to be the mature one in this relationship!”

Hastily, you reached for your bag and threw it over your shoulder before turning to look at FP once again. “This isn't about the texts. This is about you not trusting me and I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me.”

You grabbed the phone that currently lay on the coffee table separating you and the older man and headed for the trailer door. You glanced at FP; secretly hoping he'd say something to make you stay. But he didn't. He wasn't even looking at you anymore. “Goodbye FP.”

About a week has passed since your big fight and hasty breakup with FP. He’s called you everyday, sometimes even a couple of times a day, but you never answered. He’s sent a dozen of apology messages and even had Jughead approach you with a request to at least consider what he had to say. 

You weren't interested. He had his chance to stop you that day and he didn't. In your eyes, it was a bit late for amendments. 

FP however wasn’t planning on giving up that easy. Yes, that day he didn't run after you like he probably should have but he was angry. The built up emotion clouded his judgement and he wasn't thinking straight. It wasn't until the next day that he realised what an idiot he’s been. 

He wanted you back. And he was going to do anything in his power to make sure that happened. Which is why he currently sat in his car, watching your house and waiting for your parents to leave so he could apologise in person. 

When the coast was clear, he scrambled out of the vehicle and approached your front door. He took a deep breath and knocked. You appeared moments later. Your first instinct was to slam the door in his face, so you did. FP knocked again.

“Y/N please.” You didn't answer. FP sighed; here goes nothing. “Look, I was a jerk. I should have never gone through your texts and then accuse you of cheating. It wasn’t right and I know that I probably blew whatever respect you had for me.” He paused. “I just wanted to apologise.”

There was a moment of silence. He heard you shuffling inside but you didn’t do or say anything. FP sighed. 

“I love you Y/N.” 

With that, he was about to walk away when the door swung open. You stood on the other side wide-eyed, your eyes glossy as if you were crying.

“You love me?” FP nodded which made you smile. “I love you too FP.” “You do?” “Of course I do.” 

He didn't say anything else. Neither of you did. Instead, FP leapt forward and wrapped his muscular arms around your waist lifting you up off the ground. He twirled you around once as you let out a soft giggle. You wrapped your legs around him, his hands now on your bum holding you up, before pressing your lips gently to his. 

-

masterlist

[catboyithaqua]

Ramuda and Doppo :0

OH MY BOYS LETS GO

Under a cut bc long

Ramuda Amemura

First impression

Baby boy baby. Very cute and sweet i love characters with ramudas aesthetic i tend to want to protect them, especially since its an aesthetic that i fall into myself and lo v e so kseidjsnfn YEAH this man is baby!!!

Impression now

Ohhh my god i love this man i love the way he is characterised he is so incredibly interesting as a character and tbh so realistic and honestly i adore him!!! I alarmingly see a lot of myself in him tbh, were incredibly similar and that isnt necessarily a good thing!! But still i love this man

Favorite moment

Oh man where tf do i BEGIN there are so many ngl, but mostly all of the moments where we see ramuda's humanity. There is still a sweetness left under the darkness, there is still a man who wants to cling onto everything he has - his emotion, his internal battles, his morality vs his desperate need to survive - oh fucking man so much.

Idea for a story

CAN WE FUCKING. HAVE RAMUDA TALK HIS SHIT OUT PLEASE can we just have others actively helping ramuda cAN THIS MAN PLEASE BE SHOWN THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE FOR HIM,,, PLEASE,, i just want ramuda to finally talk out everything and have people on his side. Please.

Unpopular opinion

This probs isnt unpopular by any means, but idk what else to put here so take this:

I dont really see it often discussed that yknow ramuda is an abuse victim. Like, its very clear that chuokhu uses and abuses him, and his life is constantly being hung over his head. No wonder the dude is doing anything he can in order to survive, he has no choice in that regard. Before i get told this in the notes yes i know this doesnt excuse the things hes done!!! But tbh i really think that like the trauma that ramuda is living with kinda needs to be addressed.

Favorite relationship

I am a huge multishipper and have found a way to ship ramuda w just about most people (that are adults and not in chuokhu lol) so this is pretty tough

Id say either fling poly or jkrm and these are my reasons lets go:

Fling poly: HAVE YOU S E E N THEM do i really need to say more here all three of them have such good chemistry together, theyre all clearly on the same wavelength and have such a wonderful dynamic,,, they found out about the clones and shit and they STILL chose to protect ramuda and to fight for him and with him and to stay by his side aND BLACK JOURNEY TOO I-- IM GONNA START SOBBING,,,

Jakuramu: this one is not based on canon too much i am sorry this is mostly hc but i am a huge sucker for enemies to lovers ok also, i feel like out of TDD these two would be the ones to reconcile. After all, jakurai is a rather empathetic man and he probably would def understand the situation that ramuda was in. After all this dude was an ex assassin, if ramuda was to tell him everything, im sure that he would be able to relate to yknow the time he took others' lives, people with families and friends that he killed because he was ordered to and most likely had no other choice. Of course, jakurai is well within his right to not forgive ramuda for what happened to yotsutsuji, but i feel like he would and would help him get out of the situation hes in,,, and also im soft for the TDD era ok like how jakurai WANTED TO KNOW THE REAL RAMUDA AND LIKE,,, even when ramuda snapped at him he was GLAD HE WANTSD TO KNOW HIM FUCK MAN,,, i just really like these two ok

Favorite headcanon

I have quite a lot of hcs! Here are a few and like some explanation as to why:

- hes trans - i personally believe this bc personally itd make sense. Ramuda has a very feminine appearance and build, those that are like typically common in asian countries. As well as that, he has his own autonomy unlike the other clones. It wouldnt surprise me if chuokhu orignally wanted to make a girl to keep the other divisions in check, but when he decided personally that he didnt want to be such a way, they said sure, more room for us to treat you as we want to. Hes got money, getting T wouldnt be that difficult for him either, so thats why his voice is. That way fiaudjsnfnd anyway i think it makes sense!! Idk--

- he has bpd - projection probably but the biggest inspiration for this headcanon is how he is emotionally. His swings are violent - he feels and expresses such a diverse range of emotions and its so easy for him to change his emotional disposition - whilst also mostly feeling totally empty. Relationship wise also, given how he was genuinely really close to jakurai and then completely splitting on him, h a t i n g him. Yeah that sounds like bpd to me chief i know i have it!!! Theres more ik there is but i cant pull up examples rn

- hes neurodivergent - again mostly projection honestly and like there isnt much of a canon basis in his behaviour, just little things, but i like to personally hc that aside from eating candy to stay alive duh, that he chooses lollipops bc they serve as a sort of stim?? Also ik that fashion is his job but hes also so so clearly passionate about it that its a special interest for him, and thats partially why he took it up as a job in the first place, so he could do something related to his special interest lol. Idk i know there isnt any basis for this but just let me have autistic ramuda iaiesjdnsnfn

Doppo Kanonzaka

First impression

Now THATS what i call a tired mf!!! This dude has yves saint laurent eyebags also he really reminds me of aggretsuko somehow??? Im really not sure what it is

Impression now

Yeah i was def right with the aggretsuko comparison siaishsnshfb BUT I LOVEEE HIM i love him very much and i think this man really needs a break and is also very relateable i love

Favorite moment

As much as i love fp i absolutely adore the badass koments that doppo has including when he absolutely fucking obliterated fling posse sksjxnxncn also!! All of his little moments with hifumi i genuinely enjoy their dynamic its so cute

Idea for a story

Honestly i wanna see him slowly recover from the teauma that he has experienced because this king absolutely deserves it, and also from a practical point of view itd make this mf s t r o n g e r i also just.... long to see doppo happy honestly he deserves to smile!!

Unpopular opinion

I dont really have an unpopular opinion but saving like leaving this blank: as much as i absolutely adore jakurai and hifumi and their music (jakurai is my fave out of every hypmic character and i WILL drive this home), to me doppo just has the best music. Like, i love tigridia and BLACK OR WHITE so fucking much its absolutely unreal and all of doppos verses in every song are juust so fucking good. As much as i listen to you are, therefore i am on repeat every day of my life doppos music is just the best ✨

Favorite relationship

Again i am a huge multishipping bitch and i habe a few ships with doppo but in ahll honesty my fave is very clear - i absolutely adore his dynamic with matenrou as a whole and especially hifumi - his relationship with hifumi is clearly so special and it really shows how strong their friendship is, and in a ship sense i find it to be realy cute bc theres such a clear need for each other and that even if they clearly come at odds sometimes, at the end of the days theyre still clearly so close and i just,,, god doppo reallt deserves someone like hifumi in his life and im so glad that he has it!!!!

Favorite headcanon

Honestly i dont really think i have too many for doppo but given his general demeanor and his attitude, i personally hc him as demi. Yeah i know that sexualities dont have like typical personalities and such but i feel like given his anxieties around new people and how he clearly only really sticks to those that hes very close with, it makes more sense for him to be demi than any other sexuality to be quite honest - and this is also just pushing my hifudo agenda aiqiauansnssn but yknow!!!!

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep10 Thoughts

Thoughts under cut so this post doesn’t run up the tag

- Jabitha having good taste in music muah

- WAIT THE ANTICIPATED JABITHA POPS KISS IS RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING??? I was looking forward to it since it’s the only good thing I heard about the ep and it’s the FIRST THING? Now I gotta sit through this ep-

- “No Jughead’s allowed.” he said NO BUGHEAD thank god but knowing this show they’re gonna find a way to say “fuck you” to him and force more bughead down our throats

- Not Nana Rose saying that the curse doesn’t want Cheryl happy…

- NO SENSATIONAL IS CHONI’S

- REGGIE WITH HIRAM AGAIN???? Riverdale really can’t not have characters who flip flop their thoughts/priorities out of nowhere so they can continue their insane(ly) boring plots… it’s like their goal to is destroy every character they can. Like right now even Veronica, YES, VERONICA, COMING FROM A VERONICA STAN, IS BEING KINDA UNLIKABLE RIGHT NOW, and it’s such an easy fix…

- “You can feel it’s [Riverdale] broken sprit rebuilding.” ….. where

- Suddenly Hiram’s prison is a front for getting palladium Jesus Christ

- You know this show has taken a turn for the worst when Jughead is everyone’s favorite… like even antis???

- Jughead don’t talk about about your superior Stephen King like that

- reggie buttering up to nana rose lmao

- Jughead hasn’t recovered from the bh break up damn… I mean it make sense considering how co-dependent they were to one another

- ugh more forced va bs

- I agree that she needs to talk to Chad but like… does she realize that the only way he got those photos was by ONCE AGAIN having her followed… like I don’t know if it’s just how my brain works but this doesn’t make any sense asdfghjkl;

- It’s making VA more hated than BH for me……. god this is unbearable NOBODY wants them

- Of course Jughead’s drug dealer is named Speedy

- “I’m worried that they’re bad seeds” Betty they’re CHILDREN who’ve been through trauma and absent parenting. They’re still growing and need to be taught to care and such

- Betty stop dating men who want to write about your trauma

- “Your dad was a murderer, but didn’t have the genes. Why?” Because this show is awful and forces awful plots to cater to Betty and Bughead (and now that they’re going back after finally giving us Barchie, the show is boring and awful again)

- THE SLAPPING SOUND FASHDKFSAFHFKJABSDK wow Riverdale a true comedic show

- idk how being a soldier works or anything but how can a mission be shady if the guy running the mission (Archie) doesn’t know about it…? In those crime shows like criminal minds or bones, there had to be one or two soldiers in on the shady part of the mission…. right?

- Reggie in purple tho fuckkk 🤩🤩

- Now Jess is here……… okay-

- TABITHA COMING IN CLUCH FOR JUGHEAD??? oh my goddd

- JABITHA SUCH A COUPLE WHO’S NOT EVEN A COUPLE

- It’s kinda sad but hilarious that Jabitha literally ate up Bh’s seasons of moments in literally just a few episodes

- I love couples who sit against the couch eating and hanging out why did that have to be wasted with Chad and Veronica :( Why not JERONICA or VEGGIE or literally anyone else besides toxic or boring couples

- That edited photo of Veronica and Chad LMAO

- Chad really laying it on thick huh… trying to lure her back in. This is what abusers do………. Now what’s the catch

- Chad and Veronica so toxic but at least they can kiss

- Please…….. PLEASE DON’T BRING PENELOPE BACK WE ARE SICK OF HER!! why are shows so committed to keeping around the same villains doing the same thing?? Literally Penelope, Hiram, Negan from The Walking Dead… we’re TIRED

- NOT REGGIE COMMITING ARSON???

- Alice sending KIDS to answer the door?? ESPECIALLY when they’re not expecting anyone???

- oh yeah I forgot all about Charles and Chic

- STOP! MAKING! ALICE! ASSOCIATE! WITH! CRIMINALS! She deserves so much better

- How convenient that FP is gone too smh

- Charles actor though is FINE.

- Please stop beating up Archie… at least for one fucking episode

- These sound effects are taking me out

- Betty really trying to gate Glen killed huh

- honestly though the “sure you are, babe” watching them be murder boyfriends would be so much more interesting than bh and va being forced down our throats again for another season

- Always gotta have that close up of the mentally unstable criminal closing his eyes and putting the gun next to their temple

- So was Betty not gonna shoot Charles…?

- “My muse” “Don’t be such a Betty” wdym she was the one who always went to get herself into bad situations, YOU we’re the “buzzkill"

- I understand Tabitha’s intentions but isn’t cuffing him more dangerous bc he’s not in his right state of mind and could literally break his wrist, or worse?

- Jughead infantilizing teenage!Betty is fucking disgusting

- WILHEIM SCREAM??

- Penelope acting like she cares

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????

- The day Veronica’s plot doesn’t revolve around toxic men will be the best fucking day sigh

- People would believe the solider over the higher ups but okay

- thank god no more va for now

- “Fine, have fun.” Why are you being an asshole, Archie? You don’t even love her like the writers were trying to make it seem you were

- oh right Betty abusing her power and taking matters into her own hands

- Oh so I was right in a way…. did he chop off his hand or something? 😭😭