#bc tbh if you would’ve asked me a year ago I would’ve said I wouldn’t write it

[bigtreefest]

So….

For fall do I need to make werewolf Jakey and vampire ran?

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[overgrownlive]

My first live blogged series was the Lunar Chronicles. Unfortunately, I only started blogging during Fairest, and the majority of my thoughts were from Winter. But I'm glad that I read it and shared my thoughts as I did.

That said, I wanted to share my thoughts on the series as a whole because it's been a while since I've gotten this invested in a YA series and tlc blew me away.

Spoiler warning!!!

Cinder-

My sibling recommended the book/series to me. They read it a while ago, and I was looking for some good old fashioned escapism (life is rough, yadda yadda) and I took the suggestion because I love reimagined fairy tales. I also love aliens. And cyberpunk.

So naturally I was on board from chapter one.

I actually originally thought that Cinder was gonna end up having the info on the lost princess lost in her coding. Didn't expect her to be selene bc I thought it was too obvious. I need to stop playing 5D chess with inter-dimensional time travel with YA authors.

I love Kai. I love Iko. I love(d) Peony. I have a love/hate relationship with Cinder and Torin.

Dr. Erland was my favorite character until I figured out why he started the cyborg draft bc dude there were so many better ways to do that. Like....idk you could have looked at the immigration files from Europe and found what family adopted a cyborg five years ago from Reiux France. But ...whatever. Fine.

Everyone might hate me for this opinion but I felt that the feelings that Kai had for cinder were very forced, especially at first. She barely spoke to him, she was just some girl. Idk, I didn't get it. Of course, once we get Kais perspective and he explains that he kinda asked cinder out for convenience I was like "ahh, yes...the fake dating trope. My favorite." /Gen. But then I got confused bc his feelings seemed genuine? Idk it was very confusing but tbh I didn't give a shit about their relationship, I wanted to know what was going on with Luna. I wanted to know about the plot. I wanted Cinder to save Peony and I thought she was going to.

And when she didn't

I almost cried.

I wanted Kai to save the common wealth. I didn't want him to marry Levana or make any deals with her

And when he did

I almost screamed

I understand the feelings now that I've read the whole series. I think it was more of an instinct thing. But at the time, before I knew how they fit together, I was really confused. They just seemed too different and too thrown together.

But, like I said, that didn't dissuade me from reading: the plot, the characters individually, and the world building were enough to keep me going. I'm not someone who reads YA for romance.

Scarlet-

Tbh this was my least favorite book. Again, not really interested in the romance between scar and wolf. I guess it's just that I knew they'd end up together in the end so it didn't really matter to me. I also knew wolf would betray her and I knew she'd be like "jk still love you" and he'd be like "same"

Also my grandma is fucking crazy in the bad way (I'm sorry if you love your grandma, I'm sure your grandma is very nice. Mine is not) and I would not do any of this for her so I can't relate to scarlet on that front. I like to think I'm like her in the strong, firecracker sense. But besides that, there's not a lot of relatability for me so idk

Thorne is my bestie and I love him. His friendship with Cinder got me through the book ngl. I feel bad saying this bc I really do love the series, and I like scarlet and wolf, I just wouldn't read a book about only them: if Thorne and cinder weren't in this book, I would've dropped the series.

I didn't like how wolf had to do everything for her. Like jump off the train and save her from ran and bust her out of prison and shit. Like, yeah, she shot him once but like...idk. not my fav. I think they have an interesting dynamic and I like the characters and their relationship is cute, I just was kinda like ..."okay, cool" the whole time. Not my thing I guess?

That's kinda all I have to say about this one? Idk, I still enjoyed it, I just also barely remember it and I feel like the main purpose was to set us up for angst later in winter.

Cress-

So Rapunzel is one of my favorite fairy tales and I love this retelling. The way that cress' feet get fucked up and Thorne loses his vision I was like "YES THATS SO CLEVER NFKSKRWKKA"

Also the foreshadowing abt their relationship. Thorne is one of my favs, I'm a sucker for asshole gremlins who want to be better.

The way that they kidnap Kai at the end made me laugh so hard. Torin helping melted my heart. I am now invested in cinder and Kais relationship, it doesn't feel forced anymore. It feels like they both saw something in each other that was so abstract that even the reader can't quite grasp it. Kai still has her foot. Why did he keep it? They think about each other constantly. They both have responsibilities that nobody else can understand, but at least they can both try. They want the same thing but neither can have it. They have similarities now. They fit better, now. I get it, now.

Dr erland being cress' father was something I saw coming but also didn't care about, I felt like we could've gone without that. It would be just as powerful if the DNA test came back negative. Erland was hoping, out of desperation, that his crescent moon was still alive. But he really did lose her. Idk.

I loved the desert. The symbolism.

I loved how they both had to rely on each other. I love the dynamic between cress and Thorne. How cress wanted a hero to save her, how Thorne didn't think he could be a hero ever. How they both were a hero for each other.

Thorne taught cress how to survive outside of her satellite. He taught her how to live on Earth. He was there when she took her first steps on feet that had never walked before. Not really.

And cress taught Thorne how to rely on others. She saved him from his sense of self, a view of his life that labeled him as a worthless criminal. She taught him how to care about other people. She taught him to see people, instead of look at them.

It killed me. I love them.

Fairest-

Fuck Levana

Winter-

I loved winter as a character and I really liked the way the story ended. I loved the confession scene between Thorne and cress and most of the rest of my thoughts/big takeaways and opinions can be inferred from my liveblogs.

One thing I will say, though, is I hate how Cinder plans on giving up her rule. I understand that she wants to dissolve the monarchy, but I think she should run for president or Parliament or whatever government she sets up.

Also like...if there's technology that stops lunar from abusing their power...doesn't the whole monarchy thing like...still work??? Idk

Overall this was probably the most engaging YA series I've read in a while. The characters were all diverse and individual and I loved the plot and world building. I've been done with the series for a few weeks and still think about it every day.

[bisluthq]

Massive tw tbh: ED Oh yeah karlie would’ve been insufferable during that era tbh. I had a friend like that (without the long term boyfriend because we were both in high school). We were both kinda disordered/had body dysmorphia. She had recently gained a lot of weight after having been super underweight and was trying to lose it. I was also trying to lose weight because I was bigger lol. So we would ‘help’ each other diet. I would purposely go out with her because I knew I wouldn’t eat that day. She would reprimand me for not counting calories properly (‘what about all this juice you had?’ with some smug facial expression I’ll never forget), tell me a couple of times that I still had more weight to lose, make comments about my waist, remember my weight from months ago TO THE FUCKING GRAM, legit argue w me once when I didn’t follow her diet, supply me w laxatives, and even threw away my candy once and said I would ‘thank her later.’ I grew so ashamed of eating and scared of telling her I had eaten something. She also endlessly complained about her own weight even though she was way smaller than me? What ended up happening was that she did eat normally/maintain her healthy weight and I couldn’t tell her off for it because I can never tell someone not to fucking eat, but I was starving myself and losing pretty fast. Idk if Karlie was like that bc we were kids but she defs would’ve given ‘dieting tips’ lmao. This girl was also SUPER judgmental and moralistic and would go back and forth between talking shit about someone and judging you so hard for talking shit depending on her mood. She also has this air of innocence in general, partly because of how judgmental and self-righteous she is, so you feel horrible for disliking her and feel like you’re corrupting her. I was very horny as a kid lmao but I started losing that horniness because of my starvation and she applauded me for it. She would also tell me she’d never talk to me again if I ended up in the hospital and say that I should start taking care of myself but in the same breath tell me to make sure I didn’t break my diet over Christmas/New Year’s ‘no matter how tasty the food looked’ (at this point I was underweight, had lost my period for four months, and basically rarely spoke to her anymore). I ended up having so much resentment towards her and feeling SO guilty for it because I couldn’t pinpoint why exactly I hated her so fucking much but I literally had fits when she texted me. She would keep asking me to go out every other day even though I clearly didn’t want to. She would NEVER get the hint (see: Karlie’s lover era antics).

anyway sorry for this rant but yeah fuck friends like that.

Yeah I mean you’re projecting but that’s fair because that’s what it pings as to me too tbh.

[khyrrn-v2]

First off: Neil Gaiman’s Assurances

In season 2, Job asks God why He has forsaken them.

God tells him: “Come back when you can make a whale.”

After season 2, when @clevercorvidae asked:

“dear neil,

i just finished season 2. i have one question: why.”

Neil tells them: “Come back when you can make a whale.”

This tells us two things.

1.) Neil Gaiman has a wicked sense of humor

and

2.) Neil in at least someways has likened himself to the God of this book. And as said God has told us “I do not play dice with universe; I play an ineffable game of my own devising.”

Neil is telling us that he has plans and most every mistake displayed in season 2 therefore must be intentional.

God does not play dice with the universe, and neither does Neil.

~~

Secondly: On their “First” meeting in the stars

Why did Aziraphale ask what Crowley was doing when he was making the stars, only to turn around and say “nah they’re shutting that down in 6k years.”

Wouldn’t there have been a sign saying “Be not afraid: creation of Star Factory and the Home of Humanity for the next 6 thousand years in progress” posted somewhere?

It can’t have been much of a secret if Aziraphale knew Corporate Heaven’s plans for it.

~~

Thirdly: Maggie’s behavior, “history,” and the lock-in scene in general

- This is probably just a me thing, but when Maggie said “[telling people you’re not crying] is just a thing people say” she said it almost on autopilot, as if giving context for an “imaginary” audience, instead of confusion over how Aziraphale didn’t know such a common phrase. Maybe that’s just me, but it put me off the first time i watched that scene.

- If Crowley’s freakout in the middle of the street caused the minor outage, why were the lights across the street still on? Why weren’t more people freaking out about their phones on the street. Our society is filled with phone-addicts so wouldn’t at least a good portion of them immediately notice something wrong?

- When Maggie and Nina are talking in the locked cafe, Maggie says “originally our shop was in a corner of Mr. Fell’s bookshop.”

Now, records may not be popular nowadays, but a few generations ago? Business was booming. It wasn’t uncommon for people to have records back then.

We don’t have Maggie’s approximate family line, so we can’t say for sure if Maggie’s great grandma started selling records before their rise to popularity. However, we can say that Aziraphale, when comes to his bookshop, hates any and all foot traffic.

If he really was trying to help Maggie’s great grandma out, why not immediately find her a location nearby where she could set up shop? Aziraphale likes records, but he’s definitely not going to risk his books for them. Why would he let Maggie-triple-senior stay there?

Unless this is just, according to OP’s theory, a story Metatron concocted so that Maggie and Aziraphale would interact.

- Maggie’s “no judgement” when Nina starts Drinking with a capital D. Gives off “holier-than-thou” vibes tbh.

- Why did Maggie have the power to invite the demons inside when Mr. AJ “Loverboy” Crowley himself has stated he couldn’t. It implies some degree of ownership of the shop right? So why couldn’t Crowley invite people in? Because he’s a demon? Surely Aziraphale would’ve found a way around that. (Tho tbf this theory only sticks bc we are assuming Crowley wasn’t lying when talking to Shax outside the bookshop.)

Still, why did Maggie have that power over the bookshop? It doesn’t make sense.

~~

In conclusion:

@neil-gaiman is God, Maggie is too smart to be an angel but too (let’s call it) stiff to be a human, and now that I’m thinking about it season 2 is hella sus.

This is only what I remember right off the bat, so I’m sure there are mistakes, but I really wanted to add my tidbits to @ariaste’s theory.

Btw, Ariaste, ty for making the season finale seem a little less bleak.

The Magic Trick You Didn’t See: Being An Analysis of Good Omens Season 2

(or: Neil Gaiman, Your Brain is Gorgeous But I Have Cracked Your Sneaky Little Code And Have You Dead To Rights*) (*Maybe)

***

Soooooo I just spent the last 48 hours having a BREATHTAKING GALAXY BRAIN EPIPHANY about Good Omens Season 2 and feverishly writing a fuckin16,000 word essay about the incredible magic trick that @neil-gaiman pulled off. 

Yes, it’s long, but I PROMISE your brains will explode. Do you want to know how magic works? Do you want to know what Metatron’s deal is (I’m like 99% sure of this and it’s EXTREMELY FUCKING GOOD)? Do you want to know about the Mystery of the Vanishing Eccles Cakes and the big fat beautiful clue I found in the opening credits? Do you go through the whole inventory of Chekov’s Firearm & Heavy Artillery Discount Warehouse? 

Here is the essay, go read it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ When ur done u can tell me I’m an insane crackpot, and u know what, i won’t even be offended

In case you don’t know whether you want to bother reading the whole enormous thing on google docs, I’ve put the first couple sections of it under the cut. JUST TRUST ME OKAY, HEAR ME OUT, THIS IS VERY EXTREMELY COOL, NEIL IS GOOD AT HIS JOB–

Keep reading

[yuukei-yikes]

lost day hour should’ve been the end of kagepro babey

what is UP it's 2019 i am NOT ONLY talking about kagepro but im also gonna talk about a comic that came out like over half a year ago. Yeah

i've just been having too many feelings about it and it's my blog and i get to post whatever i want SO:

the lost day hour comic really was what would've been the perfect end to kagepro. like, kagepro in its entirety!!! songs, anime, novels. the comic just being THE ending.

haruka was the protagonist. in the songs, the "last" one (at least chronologically in universe) was from his point of view, but despite that the novels and anime did him dirty and never gave him his screen time, even outside of str. i mean even str isn't actually about him lol. haruka was never important enough, he's just the devise to make konoha tragic. but this time, it's post/during str and he's here!!!! he's the protagonist of the story!!!!

all the members of the mekakushi dan feel SO in character and everything they say really feels like a good resolution to all of their arcs.

kido speaks of family. she's really THE family character, not ayano. she makes sure to be the next big sister after having lost TWO (2) of her own big sisters. kido is the character to have lost the most family members: first her biological mom, after having to kill her own father lol she loses rin, then her new mom ayaka and her new sister ayano, and then her new dad kenjirou. even like that, kido keeps it together. she's never the one breaking down. kido is essentially what makes the mekakushi dan what it is, because she takes ayano's game and turns it into something seto and kano can continue feeling that comfort in. she takes over to be the leader and their big sister. SO OF COURSE SHE SAYS THAT FRIENDS ARE HER FAMILY. 

kano says confusing stuff but that's just him and i. Love it. like when i read the comic and i was talking to my gf about it and the first thing i said was that i loved kano's bit and that he felt super in character and i still feel the same!!! he gets asked what a friend is and his answer is basically "whoever makes ME feel like im a friend" and really that's just The Most Kano.... and it's so rewarding to read his part because it feels like he's being super honest? like his expressions and stuff, he looks like. vulnerable or smth. especially when he says "i say good things sometimes" AHHH HIS FACE THERE!!! he's not acting at all!!!

seto and mary work in A FLOWER SHOP!!!! THIS IS CANON!!!! no more shitty part time jobs because they either got a job together or opened their own shop and this is. the best news ever. it's SUCH a cool thing to show. if this comic was the end, wouldn't it be cute to say "oh seto and mary open a flower shop together in endgame"? i love it. they're so important to each other's arc... mary basically starting to live her life after meeting seto, and seto becoming this!!! BRAVE BOY after meeting mary since he has someone to protect!! their answers are based on each other and ARE THE SAME which feels so appropriate ;_; they really did change for the better after meeting each other. they're one another's most important friend!

momo says friends are the most important thing because she spent her entire life by herself. no brother no dad and no mom. hibiya acts like she's exaggerating when she says that but tbh??? she really isn't. she was always alone! of course that now that she has friends, they're her entire world to her. hibiya meanwhile is like momo: he's still figuring out what a friend is! but he chooses to be more skeptical and looks at it from another angle, and rather than HELL YEAH MY FRIENDS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT he's like "dammit harukas right wtf is a friend". but that's super cool because at the beginning hibiya didn't even want to be with the dan in this comic he specifically tells momo he just wouldn't be there if he didn't want to be friends

hiyori is. probably my least favorite thing of the comic. i absolutely adore her it's not that i dislike her at all!!! she just... appears for such a short moment, and based on her story and the fact that she's A REVIVED character, her answer doesn't really grab my attention. she's confusing and ??? um, i would've liked it better if her answer was somehow connected to konoha because she's still mourning him, and like isn't haruka the (in?)appropriate person to hear this? lol. but overall, if this comic had been the ending, it's still good to see hiyori made it back! 

ayano's bit really makes me want to cry because everything is perfect in it. she made it back. listen an ending where ayano doesn't come back does make sense because kagepro is about moving on and with ayano surviving shintaro's manpain makes NO sense lmao bUT HEY. SHE DESERVES IT. so she's back! and she's wearing that cute dress and she has her scarf! she's on the SWING SETS WITH HARUKA and i know that's such a silly detail but im so happy about it because it feels so right to have haruka and ayano's interaction be in a place like that KSNXKSKSK and aghhhh how she asks the question back to haruka!!!!! that's so cool lmao and it's so in character ;; but also her answer is sooo fitting, she even says "the current me" like acknowledging she's not the same she was before. since she's a chara with mental illness that's nice to hear... and another cool detail is that we see her drinking soda with shintaro while they watch the others be silly SKDNSLDK like if this were the end, that's SUCH a nice detail to put since the comic doesn't require shintaro and ayano interaction at all, and both are important characters to the story and each other. so they're clearly hanging out and talking to each other so that's really good to know

shin and haruka are probably my favorite in this comic because their interaction is the most fitting thing considering their entire history together. like ever since their friendship was introduced in novel 6 it's been something important! shintaro and haruka really represent the side of friendship in kagepro because overall it's a story about family, and their relationship always represented this other angle of finding family in a best friend. in novel 6 haruka says that if shintaro isn't his friend by now then he doesn't NEED any friends. he's the reason haruka even realises he has feelings for takane, because it felt so right to call shintaro a friend but it felt off with her. neither haruka or shintaro ever had friends because takane and ayano are their love interests, so it's their first genuine platonic relationship ever. and they just continue appreciating that always! even in their interaction in the comic shin expresses that he's still not sure what a friend is, but if haruka is one he just wants to keep it that way. so their talk in the comic is fitting and it's super nice to see shintaro gets to reunite with his best friend.

ok and........takane...... everything about takane in the comic is good. she is SO cheerful. all of you DUMBASSES who "hate" ene but "love" takane can die mad about it now because newsflash ene IS takane. if you hate ene then you dislike takane when she begins her character development. it means you hate endgame takane. it means you hate the happy takane in lost day hour!!! she has come SO far. she smiles so much and encourages haruka when he was overthinking and didn't know what to draw. she just tells him the answer is easy and friendship is the mekakushi dan. SHE'S PERFECT have you seen how INCREDIBLY HAPPY SHE LOOKS?? no one else has this impact of character in the comic, everyone kind of acts the same in regards of attitude (except kano who looks v honest and over himself but still). in the fandom we always took it for granted that endgame takane is more cheerful than she was but lost day hour just. confirms it and it's done in the best way possible.

ok and of course im talking about harutaka too because 1) im biased and 2) harutaka IS the love story of kagepro and that's not bc im biased anymore, it just is. and it never had a good resolution... until this!!!!

haruka asks everyone what a friend is but doesn't ask takane. like really he didnt want to ask her in the first place because when shin asks who's left to ask harukas like "uHHHH one person but..." and like he doesn't just imply he wasn't going to ask her, but his interaction with her is soooo different from the ones he has with the dan earlier. with everyone else he just asks what a friend is but with takane he actually... doesn't? wh. why wouldn't he ask her im just. ok.

haruka in the beginning tells kido to think of it as an interview and essentially that's the feeling there is in each interaction but with takane it's different. he's not interviewing her. 

she shows up and sits next to him while he's trying to draw. they talk about WHY he's asking and about what he wants to do with his future. during the entire comic haruka is normal and friendly, and doesn't really act any differently, but with takane he seems a lot less formal and does things like allow himself to talk or get embarrassed when she immediately figures out he heard too much and didn't know what to draw.

their love story was always just left there as this tragic thing and as a fandom we always wanted their tearful reunion in the ending, but this is better. we finally know they actually do reunite. we always knew because in str takane is running towards him but this is... an actual interaction we're seeing 

they didn't only reunite, but we get to see they still have a close and comfortable relationship with one another. out of everyone haruka speaks with, takane is special. when his face appears for the first time in the comic it's a smile for her

and um, it may be because it's my otp and i've been waiting for this str content for YEARS and you know harutaka is my lifeblood 😩😩😩 but i believe it's already established to be more than a friendship at that point. i mean haruka wasn't going to ask her so jUSt saying man im not saying they're a established couple there im SAYING i think they're Something. i mean like haruka always said in novel 6, it felt weird to put takane in the friend category so in str it's the same, just very Obvious

BUT that's exactly why it'd be a good ending. it's up to interpretation. little things like that ARE fun and good to simply allow them to be heavily implied. just like with their jobs. because okay haruka wants to be an artist, hell yeah that's a cool thing to have as canon. BUT i think it's cool that just one character gets a canon detail of his future, the one who represents what growing up means. HARUKA of all characters, the one who for a long time thought he wasn't even gonna have the chance to grow up, which is why it's incredibly fitting that he's the one to represent this.

kagepro might be a mess and just a pain to be a fan of, but it's really a heartwarming and wonderful story about friends, family and love. this comic covers all of that. while they're answering this question, it's a good way to say bye to the characters individually.... and i mean. the comic's ending is literally the most perfect thing ever for a close, with the ENTIRE mekakushi dan having fun together and finally being happy and complete.

of course it's jin's series. they're his characters. we all understand and respect that, and if he wants to make kagepro never end like he claims then so be it but personally!!! it makes me really upset that it's gonna go on

anyway. that's it bye gamers

[vrainsrewatch]

episode 19 thoughts

this is... the most screenshot heavy post i’ve made so far, lmao, so please bear with me. as i’ve said, this is one of my favorite duels, and there’s a lot that gets covered here. like, seriously, i haven’t written this post out yet but i can guarantee this will be my longest so far lmao.

the beginning of the episode starts off fairly standard, and mostly dueling:

i really do love the pacing of this duel. i was glued to the edge of my seat while watching these episodes. i remember it so clearly, too, because i’d been binge watching from episode 16 that day, and got to like, 24 by the time i stopped, lmao.

ai does a lot of cute/funny stuff this episode, to help break up some of the more dark tones of the rest of it, like this:

it really makes me miss hi in this form :( i really like his soltis form, don’t get me wrong, but i miss him on yusaku’s wrist lol. i would say when things were less angsty, but, well. lmao.

we very quickly get akira’s rad boss monster summoned out:

and seriously, i just love the animation for it. it’s so sick. the door, the fire, how it looms behind him at first.... aaaaaa. so cool.

and of course the classic:

the worst part about this line is it’s said so often (esp in arc v LOL) that i actually. have slipped up and said it in normal, day to day conversation before. my boyfriend looked at me for like a minute and gave me the deepest sigh i’ve ever heard the first time i did that pff.

also:

i couldn’t not screencap this, given what my blog is for LOL

every time something reminds me of that painful final duel, i have to screencap it and make you guys sad with me. if i have to be sad seeing all this stuff, knowing where their relationship goes and how the series ends, so do you.

also, though, i forgot how often this was brought up before the bohman duel lmao. it makes that theory look a lot more credible, so it’s cool that it had all these little hints towards it, even if it ultimately wasn’t true.

seriously, my heart. i don’t think i need to talk much about this scene to make y’all sad, but really. they went from this to i loved you. ugh, god, i’m so sad thinking about it lmao.

there is so much to talk about between akira and playmaker and even blue angel in this episode, so i guess we’ll start here.

it is hard to decide that you want to take control of your trauma and do something about it. it is not easy. to see yusaku fight for that right so thoroughly is incredible, and really, really validating.

more sadness! seriously, this is too much. this deck was created specifically for him by ai. i don’t like this anymore lmao

but even besides that, often times the protag’s decks mean a lot to them, obviously, but i love that it wasn’t built strictly by yusaku. his cards were literally made by ai, and i think that’s such a cool twist. 

but then, akira’s speech:

i talked last time about akira wanting to handle things himself, and i briefly touched on him thinking he knows best...

but i really admire how calm yusaku stays at that tbh. he gets angry, reasonably so imo, but he takes this so well. i know i was a much more volatile kid then he is, so respect lol

i’ve spoken at length already about akira, but i also want to talk again about how oblivious he is. he is so blinded by his own thoughts and feelings on the situation that he doesn’t stop to think about how yusaku might be feeling -- and worse, honestly, how his sister might be feeling.

it was why he was so visibly shocked when emma mentioned a few episodes ago that aoi wasn’t just a little kid anymore. it’s so clear that he still, at the moment, sees her as the six year old girl he swore to protect, and not the sixteen year old person she’s become. he doesn’t think about how she might be feeling towards his actions, or why she does what she does.

this is highlighted as early as episode 6 iirc, when he asks her why aren’t you happy? as much as i, personally, dislike his character, i can’t deny it’s very realistic and well written.

speaking of aoi:

i love how she’s written in this episode, too. but her entrance here is great, and i love how she stands up to him about this. it’s minor, but it’s still a good step. when she’s blue angel -- or blue girl, or blue maiden -- she feels comfortable doing that. at least a little, and it obviously grows throughout the series. i hope that transfers over to the real world for her, too.

and then, we finally get the full story:

i remember flinching when he started talking about it, remembering the shots of yusaku getting electrocuted from his duel with revolver.

i really love this. i said it last episode, but vrains handles yusaku’s trauma so realistically and it’s amazing.

i remember originally staring open mouthed at my tv screen while this part played. we got a bit of it from the other episode, but the full context truly shocked me. where’s that post that says “who thought this was an acceptable backstory to give to a card game protag” bc honestly??? YEAH

it’s still hard to watch. it’s still hard to see play out, even if it’s only fiction. even though i’ve seen these clips so many times, and written about them in detail a few times too. doesn’t matter lol. watching it in context actually still made my stomach drop.

which leads me to talk about reactions to this, actually:

the two that vrains focuses heavily on are blue angel’s and kusanagi’s, and they contrast really well here imo.

blue angel’s is a normal reaction. it’s horrified, both at the thought of it happening and at the fact that someone would actually do that to another person -- a six year old child, no less.

kusanagi’s is strained. he is angry hearing about this, thinking about jin. we’ve been told, and have seen in the last few episodes, how much the lost incident impacted kusanagi and his brother, but i really love that the show tells us that here, too, and shows the difference between hearing about a tragedy and being involved in some manner.

i did not expect it at all when first watching vrains, and honestly, it still impresses me how gracefully they handled it coming off of arc v (cough, shun i love you but really cough cough). no hate on arc v at all, it’s my third favorite ygo very close behind gx, but the difference between the two on how they handle these things is staggering.

this whole section makes me thing that ryoken talked to yusaku fairly often, after the first time. which is something i don’t see brought up often? but that’s so important imo. it meant that yusaku had someone encouraging him not just once or twice, but on the regular, but also it meant that ryoken was constantly risking himself to comfort that child. 

we don’t see too much of ryoken when he’s a kid, but we do see him scared and crying over the lost incident. the fact that he was able to talk calmly to this child so many times is really amazing. it also makes more sense as to why ryoken feels so guilty over calling the police -- he probably felt that maybe if he had just kept up his encouragement, the kids would’ve all gotten out okay and his father wouldn’t be in a coma. 

this was so powerful. it’s obvious, and i think anyone with half a brain would understand that the LI isn’t something that a kid would recover from easily, but i love this anyways. 

he wasn’t saved. and even if he was in body, it’s still something he and all the other victims will live with for the rest of their lives.

this also is something i don’t feel like people bring up enough, but does this mean that yusaku went around asking the kids at the hospital when he was rescued? it’s not hard to believe they were all put together, at least for a short amount of time, but it’s still something i feel like people overlook. 

i also love this, because it’s nice foreshadowing to how revolver feels. he’s not captured, not like yusaku and the lost kids were, but he is a prisoner. and just like ryoken saved yusaku, way back then, he is determined to repay the favor.

not just because of that, either. because that voice meant so much to him. because that voiced saved him. because that voice understood him, and was there for him in his hardest moments. god i love them.

i love this shot. it’s so dramatic, how the match the drum beats with flashes of everyone’s reactions.

but it drives home his point, and while i know most of akira’s development came through emma and aoi, i’m sure this helped, too. 

i’ve sung vrains praises this entire post, but i’ll do it again -- this is incredible. this is so realistic. it’s so well portrayed. and it’s really honest to god incredible that we got a protag in ygo who was shown going to therapy. 

ygo has always dealt with some pretty dark subject matter, and it’s never really been shy about showing it on screen. i’m not saying that at all. arc v obviously dealt with some pretty heavy stuff, and while i haven’t seen zexal (keep shaming me please) i know it does, too. 5ds obviously has the dark signer arc, and the later arcs concerning bruno and also yusei’s father, and gx has... well, it’s entire third and fourth season. 

but we see everyone healing via card games. we see those shows talk about these things, but kind of at the same time, skirt around the subject matter; or if they do go deep into it, they pull out (ie 5ds) or the characters don’t get resolved properly (ie arc v). 

idk where i was going with this but i just really love that this happened, this was shown on screen, and they stuck to yusaku’s character. they didn’t just... up and make his trauma and his world view disappear at the end. he has a bittersweet ending, but it suited him and his development. a lot of people were mad about it, and i get it -- i wanted him to be happy, too.

but that’s not always the case, and it’s really important to me that vrains doesn’t pretend it is.

anyways, though, i’m almost done with this episode i promise lmao. before the episode ends, we get this:

and i think it’s honestly kind of cruel that akira says this, after everything, and still maintains his point of handling it himself. he has heard, first hand now, how horrible the incident has scarred yusaku for life. and yet, he still is stubborn in refusing to relate or at the very least empathize.

what i mean by that, since we obviously see him attempt to last episode, is he refuses to look at it from someone’s else’s perspective or in a way that might make him uncomfortable. the way my boyfriend describes these kinds of people is that they “haven’t had their bubble popped”.

everyone has a bubble when they’re born, and that bubble shields you from realizing that the world is a cruel and hard place. even if you go through hardships, sometimes your bubble stays put, and you think that is the worst of what can happen. 

i’m explaining this very poorly, because i’m running on not much sleep and i’ve been typing about this episode for like, far, far too long, but essentially, he refuses to step out of his comfort zone and recognize, in playmaker’s case, that he doesn’t have a right to interfere and that playmaker’s desire to handle it himself is justified and helpful for his healing. and in aoi’s case, that just because he does a lot of good for her doesn’t automatically mean ignoring her for work and keeping her locked in their house is an okay trade off. and also that she’s not a child anymore -- she’s nearly an adult and she deserves to be treated as one. 

those thoughts seem to unsettle him. you can kind of see it in how detached he is after hearing all that come from playmaker. blue angel is visibly shaken up by what he’s said. akira doesn’t even flinch, because he’s not really listening right now. 

i’m glad he learns to, or at least learns how to start, later on.

anyways, i think that’s enough for this post lmao. this took forever to type up, so let’s hope i actually have time to cover up to 21 here today LOL. if you read all that, thank you for your time on my kind of dumb vrains thoughts :’)

[facelessxchurch]

And just like SP, in a weak breeze of stale air, I’m back. Sorry to make you go through your blog to find the old asks. Nope. I’m assuming the castle is described as a bad place because it’s where the bad guys hang out lol. I thought it was interesting that Mev had a big banquet with his followers and Vile killing Aby elicited no reaction from him/Sef. I feel they would’ve felt really secure & that’s how Caisson was able get in undetected. /1

Sorry I should've been clearer, I meant Creed as a replacement not Aby. He was supposedly picked since he’d be easier to manipulate but he shows up in Mid looking like Bliss and now China owes him because he gave funding for the stupid bank. Yeah Aby is like Darq in Landy has no idea what her actual limitations are so which have to accept that she’s ~reeaallyy~ powerful. Eliza definitely isn’t going to make it out alive. Landy barely knew what to do with her after the events of DB. /2

Or the church for that matter. I vaguely remember the theory that magic is stored in the heart (I don't know if you wrote it or someone else) & that's why you can seal true names through it. It would explain how Aby still had power. Don’t mind me but I’ve been coming up with headcanons for Serafina before Bedlam possibly destroys them. The UN’s death was a ~1000 years ago, Mev served under Dagon’s grandfather which means he didn’t rise up until later. /3

I wanna say ‘Old Magic’ families exist & there being an aristocracy (you've written about this & I’m going to take what’s written in DB & run with it) which is how Mev meet Sef. Their marriage really pushed him up the ranks - going to borrow your HC - with him being an orphan he didn’t care much for the upturned noses at him for not being pedigree. Sef showed him how to navigate the world & make it work for him. Mev is more into order while Sef is structure. /4

He would handle the soldiers and intricate parts of battle/strategy & she’d weed out non-believers/traitors and ensure that any weak elements were removed and replaced with something/one more reliable. She could have helped Serpine/Vengeous without them knowing. Letting little bits of information slip, orchestrating from behind the curtains. Killing of the Council of Elders, the Grotesquery, the events at the farm & proof of the FO would 100% benefit the church. /5

I wouldn't be too sad if Sef turns out not to be a big worshipper & she’s just more interested in playing the game. Let me know what you think of these! You’re better at writing than me lol. Not thinking too hard until after I read BL & figure out how much canon I need to ignore. I’ve written about the stuff in the prior asks I’ll send later to separate HC from fist shaking. Be warned, there’s a lot because of how annoyed I am at Landy’s lovely allusions to China being like Hitler *rolls eyes*Wow, it’s been a while. I don’t really remember what I said tbh.The baquet makes sense since it seems like a good way to lift the sprits of his underlings tbh. The killing got no reaction from Sef/Mev bc they knew about it beforehand (and not reaction is one hell of a powermove!).It explains how macaroni boi got in undetected, but not how he didn’t get his throat exploded or set on fire after the first time he stabbed Mev! Uff, I hate the way Mev did sooooo much, I’m so not accepting it as canon.

Creed looking like Bliss? So like, bald?Yeah, I heard about the bank thing. Admittingly, the Dark Cathedral plotline is the only plotline that is even remotely interesting seeing how my favs haven’t made an in-person appearance so far.Yeah, Landy does have a bad habit of telling-and-not-showing.That’s a shame, I like Eliza. And the church is like the only faction I really care about (I’m always a slut for evil murder cults, especially if they are occult lmao).

Nope, that’s not my headcanon, that’s @ffoo-doodle‘s, here’s the link.

Huh? I thought he served under Dagon’s grandfather and THEN became an apprentice of the Unnamed since I don’t see the student of a half-god serving another mage, especially not after killing said half-god???

Good Mev/Sef headcanon with their meeting. But it conflicts with my own headcanon. I headcanon Mev as rising to power on his own using street-smarts and charisma to get mages to join him as he travels and preaches. Serpine follows him around and aids (in any way he can including financial). Mevs own little cult gets violent and the councils that would later become the Sanctuaries try to outlaw the worship of the Faceless Ones which Mevolent uses to unite the different church fractions under his banner to fight for ‘freedom of religion’. All the while he’s presenting himself as the good guy, as their savior and displays the sanctuaries as oppressiors. Later on more mages convert to the Faceless Church, not bc they worship the FO, but bc Mev is using the at the time recent witch hunts as a recruiting tool. And Mev and Sef only meet after he has already risen to power and is a king in his own right.

“Mev is more into order while Sef is structure.“

^^That sounds likely. I agree with that headcanon.

I do disagree with her helping Nef and Baron tho. Nef is too much of a wildcard, nobody can predict what he will do next and the only one that was able to control him was Mevolent. And Baron got played by the Diablerie who in turn got played by Batu and why would Sef slip information to a mortal? I heard that apparently Eliza was suppossed to be working for her the entire time tho.

I just don’t want Sef to be female!Mev or be as badly written as Aby/Darquesse/Murder Rose/ect. aka as over the top crazy for crazyness’-sake.Uff yeah, China’s plotline.... it’s pretty bad. And the WW2 stuff in the books annoys the living hell out of me bc I’m German aka my history lessons in school consisted out of 90% WW2, which ofc also includes reading war literature in my German class. Plus, interviewing WW2 survivors, first the jews, then later we had to stay for a week in an old concentration camp (Oranienburg, that’s near Berlin) the the guards house and interview Germans who lived near the KZ and so on and so on. I really don’t need a fat Irish man who got his WW2 knowledge from Hollywood preaching to me about this kind of stuff.

Btw you mentioned something about an ask with a link? I still haven’t gotten one. Did you not send it or is tumblr being trash again?

[j-whirl44]

This Will End.

OhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH buddy look at me i’m writing again (kinda)

Red Dead 2 has consumed my every thought for the last two weeks basically and I have a lot of feelings.

I love the relationship between Mary and Arthur and I feel like it doesn’t get enough love. So i’m giving a little bit.

I just finished Chapter IV like 5 hours ago so that’s where this is set bc i have no clue where this game is going at the current moment lmaoooo.

This is in Mary’s POV which wasn’t planned tbh but I liked doing it. (might write something in Arthur’s POV when I play a lil more of Chapter V and see if we uh, get out of that whole predicament)

Pls enjoy pls tell me what you think i’m very nervous i haven’t written any fiction in over a year !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read it on AO3 too ! [x]

Made them a playlist too [x]

“So are you going to tell about the little adventure you had with Arthur getting daddy back here?” Jamie asks his sister with a hint of teasing in his tone. Mary slaps his arm.

“I don’t know what you’re insinuating, but there’s nothing to tell. We found daddy trying to sell mama’s brooch and then that was that,” she said.

“That old bastard came back hours before you did,” Jamie countered, “rambling how you’ve ‘climbed back into bed with that mangy outlaw,” he finished. Mary blushed slightly at her father’s accusation.

She quickly composed herself, “Don’t talk about daddy like that,” she deflected. The two continued to walk in silence. Mary sighed. “We may have...gone to see the traveling performances that was playing in the theater. I-I felt like I owed him something after making him deal with daddy.”

The smile on Jamie’s face filled Mary with instant regret. “Oh Jamie don’t make a big deal of this. It didn’t mean anything. We-we didn’t do nothing but watch the show and walk to the trolley afterwards,” she said. Jamie nodded.

“Oh I knew you were still sweet on him! And he is so clearly still sweet on you,” Jamie exclaimed, getting looks from passerbyers.

Mary hushed him. “I am not. We are friends. It’s...It’s all we can afford to be,” she said. Jamie looked at her with sympathy.

“Oh my sweet sister. I have never seen you care so much about a person. Not even your own husband!” Mary always felt a little guilty about that. It not like her late husband was a bad man, he just wasn’t Arthur.

Arthur. The rough and tough 20 something year old boy who took Mary by the hand and made her feel like the most important lady in all of New Hanover.

Arthur. The rough and tough 20 something year old idiot who had a fierce loyalty to Dutch and Hosea and got so swept up in their fantasies of riches and lawless life. “They raised me,” he always said, whenever Mary raised a complaint on how they ‘do their business’ especially Dutch. She regrets a lot of her life as a young women but she never regretted her time with Arthur.

“I,” she hesitated as her brother looked to her, “I asked him to run away with me. I asked his to run and never look back.”

Jamie looked at her with disbelief. “You? You asked him?”

Mary nodded. “I can’t take this life anymore Jamie,” she said. “I want to be with him I just don’t know how.”

“What did he say?” Jamie asked. 

Mary scoffed, “That damn fool! He told me he needed to help some people first. That we’d need money. That he so close to bringing everything to an end.”

“Same old Arthur,” Jamie mused. Mary nods. “He always had that loyalty to Dutch, ugh, that wretched man!” she never trusted Dutch. The few times they met never left the best impression on her. He always seemed slimy and insincere; never truly letting Arthur be anything more than the muscle of the gang.

Mary was about to respond when the boom of a paper boy screaming the headline: “Read all about it! Van der Lined gang leads shootout in Saint Denis!” The callout stops Mary in her tracks. She rushes over to the paper boy and gives him a dollar. Jamie close behind. “Keep the change,” she said. She barely catches the thank you from the boy as she scans the big bolded headline on the front page.

“NOTORIOUS GANG BEHIND BIGGEST SHOOTOUT IN SAINT DENIS HISTORY; MANY DEAD"

Dead. The word rings through Mary’s mind. Surely he can’t be dead. He knew how to handle himself. She grips the sides of the paper tight as she tries to read through the rest of the article.

“Mary. Mary come sit you’re pale,” Jamie said, “What’s wrong?” They walk to the nearest bench together as Mary’s mind races.

“That gang. That’s the gang he runs with. Arthur. He-he-”

Realization hit Jamie as he tried to calm her down, “We don’t know nothing yet. He’s the toughest man I know. He made it out alive, sister.” Her eyes began to well.

She felt both terrified and angry; an exhausting combination. She scanned the article for any sign of his name when another bit tugged her heart.

‘Van der Lined’s second-in-command, Hosea Matthews, was reported to have been one of the many casualties in the rampant shootout.’

Mary brought a hand to her lips, “Oh. Oh Hosea was a good man. As good as any many can be in a life like that.”

Mary recalled the first time she met Hosea at a saloon in some small new settlement. He took to her the said and commended her on the ‘job’ she’d done on Arthur. “That boy rarely smiled before he started spending time with you. He’s quite smitten, though lord only knows the boy will never admit it. I’m glad he has you,” he said,” “Besides. It gets him to stop following me like a lost puppy with no sense of direction, so thanks for that! Ha!”

She couldn’t hold in her tears any longer as she thought about how she’d never get to see Arthur again. She’d never get to feel his hands on her again. Feel his pained stare ever again. His smile; his laugh; his lips; his anything. She should’ve put her foot down more, she shouldn’t have been so coy with him and let him know how much she loved him. Then maybe, she thought, just maybe he would’ve accepted her request of running of together and leaving her cursed daddy and his vile gang behind. It really is just a pretty dream now though.

A very pretty one; as he put it.

After awhile the siblings slowly walked back to their hotel room. Mary excused herself to the balcony where she watched the sunset with a pen and paper.

My Dear Arthur,

I heard the news. My heart is so heavy. I do not wish to know why you thought you needed to do something like this. When you said you were getting money, I thought it was a much more simpler and less stupid job than this. You continue to surprise me in such heartbreaking ways.

I’m sorry to hear about Hosea. I know you thought of him as a father; and you a son to him. I always wished you cared me the way cared for your gang. Why didn’t you? Oh I must admit I’m writing this in both hope and fear that you’ll never read it. I know not if you’re alive or dead. A part of me hopes I never get the answer.

Oh my darling. Why couldn’t you just have run away with me that day. Where would we be now? Somewhere off in Chicago? Or perhaps we went even more south to Mexico. I wouldn’t have cared as long as I was in your company. I pray we see each other again. I truly do. Until then I will curse you every night for not being here.

Always, Mary

She folded the letter and contemplated what to do with it until she finally looked at the lit candle on the table and held the paper over the flame.

[loljulie]

flicker; {006} the tide

(okay so this is part may feel a bit slow? idk maybe it’s just me bc im overly critical of my work lol. i was going to write another scene into it but i was already hitting a large word count so count on the next part being more crazy. i went to see niall horan last niGHT and i’m still recovering tbh. i’m so happy to see more and more people become interested in this fanfic and just in general want to be apart of it more! thank you so much for all that <3)

genre: detroit: become human

deviant!connor x reader

word count: 2850

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓　 d̯̱̝̠̘̙͙e̼̯̣̗͈͇̳v̥̗̭̹̫ia̘̝͔͙͙̜ͅn͈t͇͓̦̻s̙̗͉̜͕  　▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

@dragonempress123​

@itstrashleydude​

@chisooyaaa​

@help-i-need-a-social-life​

@shadows-echoes​

@sygin​

@mavvsmm​

Whiteness surrounded you on all sides as you rested against Hank’s car. Your first order of business that day was to visit Elijah Kamski, who lived in almost the middle of nowhere. The bleak, winter forest around you was undeniably breathtaking and serene, but your eyes were trained on a snow-covered hill as your mind wandered. A few feet from you, Hank was pacing back and forth.

It had been a day since Stratford Tower, and there was no shortage of public opinion and outcry. Though it was unspoken, you had the feeling that Hank realized there was no stopping the deviants. Yet, the three of you continued on with the investigation, all unsure of what to even do next.

The car door creaked next to you, pulling you from your thoughts. Connor stood by you, and offered a small smile. He had been at the foremost of your mind recently, as you constantly worried about his deviancy becoming known and the future of deviants.

The two of you approached Hank and began walking to the front door of the sleek, modern residence. Hank and Connor spoke to each other, though the nature of their conversation was lost on you as you instead peered out at the snowy dock and frozen water.

Hank rang the doorbell. A playful, 3-toned tune could be heard from inside. The three of you waited for a few seconds before Hank grew impatient and reached for the doorbell again. As he was about to press the button, the door suddenly opened, revealing a beautiful female android. She was silent as she waited for somebody to speak.

“Hi, uh,” Hank started, breaking the silence. “I’m, er, Lieutenant Hank Anderson. This is Lieutenant (Y/N) (Y/L/N). We’re from the Detroit Police Department, here to see Mr. Elijah Kamski.”

“Please, come in,” the female android smiled and moved out of the doorway to let you all in. She closed the door behind you and notified you that she would let Mr. Kamski know you were there.

You followed Hank and sat down in one of the waiting chairs to the left of the room. Connor walked around, seeming to take interest in a photo on the far side of the wall.

“Nice girl, nice place,” Hank stated, as he looked around the room. “Guess androids haven’t been a bad thing for everybody…”

A few minutes passed by before the door the female android disappeared into re-opened. She stood off to the side and smiled at the three of you.

“Elijah will see you now.”

You got up from your chair and walked into the next room. You were slightly shocked to see a bright red pool take up the center of the room, with Kamski still in it. Two more female androids, looking identical to the one who let you in, were by the side of the pool.

Once Kamski was out of the pool, Hank did the honors of introducing you three.

“I’m Lieutenant Anderson, this is Lieutenant (Y/L/N),” he gestured between the two of you, then to Connor. “And this is Connor.”

“What can I do for you, Lieutenants?” Kamski asked, glancing between you and Hank.

“Sir, we’re investigating deviants,” You answered, causing him to focus on you. “We know you left CyberLife years ago, but we were hoping you could tell us something we don’t know.”

You wondered what it was you were hoping to get from Kamski exactly. A better understanding of deviancy? What rA9 was? Part of you pessimistically thought it wouldn’t even matter what you found out; that there was nothing else you could do for the investigation.

“Deviants…” Kamski started. “Fascinating, aren’t they? Perfect beings, with infinite intelligence, and now they have free will...”

You had to stop yourself from glancing at Connor. You briefly wondered what it was like for him to hear all of this from the man that created him.

“Machines are so superior to us, confrontation was inevitable. Humanity’s greatest achievement threatens to be its downfall,” Kamski continued. You exchanged a look with Hank. Kamski scoffed lightly. “Isn’t it ironic?”

Suddenly, Connor spoke. “We need to understand how androids become deviants. Do you know anything that could help us?”

You allowed yourself to look at him, relieved to see him wearing the mask of a machine so well.

“All ideas are viruses that spread like epidemics...” Kamski said. You wanted to roll your eyes. “Is the desire to be free a contagious disease?”

“Listen I didn’t come here to talk philosophy,” Hank interrupted, much to your satisfaction. “The machines you created may be planning a revolution. Either you can tell us something that will be helpful, or we will be on our way.”

Kamski didn’t look at Hank, instead choosing to focus on Connor. The way he watched him, as if scrutinizing every inch of his face to look for any deviation, made you nervous.

“What about you, Connor?” He asked, stepping closer to him. Your heartbeat picked up. “Whose side are you on?”

“I have no side,” Connor answered, his voice level and calm. “I was designed to stop deviants and that is what I intend to do.”

You watched as Kamski chuckled softly. “Well, that’s what you’re programmed to say… but you...”

Kamski took a step closer to Connor, stopping about a foot away from him. His voice was low as he continued. “What do you really want?”

You froze, heart racing as Connor thought of an answer. Kamski and Connor’s eyes were locked in a stare, as is analyzing the other.

“I don’t want anything. I am a machine,” Connor responded. If you didn’t know any better, the neutral, emotionless way he responded would’ve fooled you. Kamski kept his eyes on Connor’s for a moment, before calling his android over.

“I’m sure you’re familiar with the Turing test,” he walked over to the blonde android, and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Mere formality, simple question of algorithms and computing capacity.”

“What interests me is whether machines are capable of empathy.” He was speaking to you and Hank now. You didn’t like where this was headed. “I call it the ‘Kamski test’, it’s very simple, you’ll see.”  

“Magnificent, isn’t it?” He rhetorically asked, gesturing toward his android. “One of the first intelligent models developed by CyberLife. Young… and beautiful forever. A flower that will never wither.”

You looked at Hank, who gave you a confused stare. He shrugged his shoulders as Kamski went on.

“But what is it, really? A piece of plastic imitating a human?” He turned around to the desk behind him and opened a drawer. “Or… a living being with a soul?”

He held his hands up as he revealed a gun in his right hand. Then, he placed a hand on the android’s shoulder, and she kneeled down. He approached Connor, offering him the gun.

“It’s up to you to answer that fascinating question, Connor.” The gun was placed in his hand, filling you with a sense of dread. You had a feeling you knew how Connor would respond, and you were nervous at what it would cause.

“Destroy this machine, and I’ll tell you all I know. Or spare it, if you feel it’s alive, but you’ll leave here without having learnt anything from me.”

You didn’t dare to speak, afraid that your voice would waver if you did so. Something had to be said to stop this ridiculous experiment.

“Okay, I think we’re done here,” Hank declared, and you felt a wave of relief hit you. “Come on, Connor. Let’s go. Sorry to get you outta your pool.”

“What’s more important to you, Connor?” Kamski’s question interrupted Hank, keeping you rooted to your spot. You noticed Connor’s LED turn yellow and flash. “Your investigation or the life of this android?”

“Decide who you are. An obedient machine… or a living being, endowed with free will.”

“That’s enough! Connor, we’re leaving,” Hank commanded. You began to think that Hank might be worried, too, of what Connor would do. Maybe he was hoping Connor wouldn’t pull the trigger; maybe he was hoping to see something human in him.

“Pull the trigger.” Kamski urged. You looked at the blonde android, who was watching the fate of her life be decided before her eyes. Something stirred inside of you.

“Connor,” you interjected quietly. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at you. You shook your head slightly. “Don’t.”

You knew Connor wouldn’t pull the trigger in any normal situation, but the need to hide his deviancy might have been making him uncertain of how to respond. With your reassurance, he pulled the gun away from the android’s face and handed it to Kamski.

“Fascinating,” Kamski breathed out as he grabbed the gun from Connor. “CyberLife’s last chance to save humanity… is itself a deviant.”

Connor couldn’t meet Kamski’s stare for a few moments. You were proud of his decision, but knew that it had just cause a crack in his disguise.

“I’m… I’m not a deviant,” Connor tried to articulate, but you knew that Kamski wouldn’t accept it.

“You preferred to spare a machine rather than accomplish your mission,” Kamski let the android stand back up, him hovering over her. “You saw a living being in this android. You showed empathy.”

Kamski glanced at you, and for a moment you thought you saw a knowing look in his eyes. You did your best to maintain a steady composure, but the smirk he put on made it difficult to do so.

“A war is coming. You’ll have to choose your side. Will you betray your own people or stand up against your creators?”

“What could be worse than having to choose between two evils?”  

-

“Why didn’t you shoot?” Hank’s question broke the silence that had fallen between the three of you as you walked back toward his car. Connor turned around, and you watched as he desperately tried to save the facade of a machine.

“I just saw that girl’s eyes, and I couldn’t, that’s all...”

“You’re always saying you’d do anything to accomplish your mission. That was our chance to learn something and you let it go,” Hank’s voice wasn’t angry or disappointed. You knew all too well the different inflections in his tones and what they meant. You could tell his statements were searching for something from Connor, something you knew he already possessed.

“Yeah, I know what I should’ve done. I told you I couldn’t,” Connor was struggling to hide his true self. “I’m sorry, okay?”

Hank looked at you, and you did your best to look as surprised at Connor’s reaction as you could. It wasn’t easy, especially because you really wished you could hug Connor and tell him he made the right choice.

“Maybe he did the right thing,” you offered to Hank, hoping he would accept it and move on. His stare became more thoughtful, and he shrugged.

“Maybe he did.”

The three of you got back into the car, wordlessly listening to Hank’s heavy metal music the entire drive back to the police station.

-

You leaned against Hank’s desk, fuming at the news Captain Fowler had just delivered to you. The FBI would be taking over the case, meaning Hank would return to homicide and you’d be back on menial cases. Worst of all, Connor would be sent back to CyberLife. Hank, who was sitting in his chair, wasn’t taking the news any better.

“We could’ve solved this case,” Connor expressed from beside you, the frustration obvious in his voice. “We just needed more time.”

Hank didn’t comment. Instead, he turned his chair around to face you and Connor, and brought up another area of concern for you. “So you’re going back to CyberLife?”

You were silent, yourself curious to know what would happen to Connor if things didn’t work out. “I have no choice... I’ll be deactivated and analyzed to find out why I failed.”

Your heart plummeted in your chest. Though you knew you would fight as hard as you could to avoid that fate for Connor, you knew that it was a possibility.

“What if we’re on the wrong side here?” Hank asked aloud. He nodded toward you. “Maybe (Y/N) was right. What if we’re just fighting against people who want to be free?”

Connor looked down at his hands. You breathed deeply, your mind working to figure out what your next move should be.

“Earlier at Kamski’s place… you put yourself in that android’s shoes. You showed empathy, Connor,” Hank alleged. You thought you saw Connor tense up. “Empathy is a human emotion.”

Before Connor could respond, you notice someone walk through the police station lobby. You rolled your eyes as you identified who it was.

“Here comes Perkins,” you declared with a sigh. Hank saw him and scoffed, his eyes filled with disdain. You scoffed. “They don’t waste any time at the FBI.”

“We can’t give up,” Connor’s voice was filled with urgency. You looked back at him. “I know the answer is in the evidence we collected. If Perkins takes it, it’s all over.”

“There’s no choice. You heard Captain Fowler, we’re off the case.” Hank countered. Connor suddenly pushed himself off of Hank’s desk, his voice sounding desperate.

“You’ve got to help me, Hank,” Connor pleaded, “I need more time so I can find a lead in the evidence we collected. I know the solution is there.”

“Listen, Connor…” Hank raised his hand to stop Connor from his plea.

“If I don’t solve this case, CyberLife will destroy me. 5 minutes, please.”

The weight of Connor’s words seemed to hit Hank in that moment. He shared a glance with you, and you nodded your approval. He stood up from his chair, and leaned close to Connor.

“The key to my basement is on my desk. Get a move on, I can’t distract him forever.”

You watched as Hank went over to Perkins, inciting a scene with him using some very choice words. Your eyes met Connor’s, noticing how anxious he looked. You both knew that his fate depended on him finding answers down in the evidence room. You followed him to the double doors that led into the evidence storage.

“I’ll keep a lookout out here,” you whispered. Connor nodded. He gave you one last look, as if afraid it might be the last time he saw your face. As he walked into the evidence room, you suddenly wished you had said more to him.

“Hello, (Y/N),” A voice called out to you, causing you to freeze. You watched as Gavin walked up to you, his eyes wandering to the doors behind you. “What’s the android doing in there?”

You felt your heart thump in your chest as you came up with an answer. “He’s just… logging in some of the evidence we still have left over. That’s all.”

Gavin nodded thoughtfully, before he made an attempt to open the door himself. Without thinking, you reached your hand and placed it on his to stop him. He raised an eyebrow at your gesture.

“Gavin, I-” you struggled to find some sort of explanation to your action. “Before you go in, I just wanted to ask you something.”

He dropped his hand from the door handle and nodded. “Anything for you.”

Your mind raced through dozens of options to take him away from the door. Finally, you settled on one you thought was reasonable. “Would you mind helping me pick a new window for my apartment? I have some images on my computer to choose from, and your opinion could help.”

Gavin smirked. “I’d probably have to see your apartment myself to know which would be a good fit.”

You suppressed a groan. Your attempt to pull him away from the door failed, but at least you were still keeping him out here for the time being.

“Lieutenant (Y/L/N)!”, a loud voice commanded. You turned your head to see Captain Fowler walking toward you, his facial features pulled into an angry expression. Shit.

“Yes, Captain?” you answered, hoping whatever he had to say would be short.

“I don’t understand the nerve of that man,” He exclaimed with a scoff. “Will you please go out there and talk some sense into Hank? He almost broke Perkins’ goddamn nose, and he’s about to lose his badge.”

You heard a faint chuckle from Gavin, which filled you with a heated rage momentarily.

“Maybe he just needs some time to cool off?” You offered, hoping the excuse would allow you to keep your post in front of the door.

“Yeah, or maybe a trip to the bar,” Gavin teased. If you hadn’t been trying to stay on his good side, you would’ve glared daggers at him.

“No, (Y/N), you go talk to him right now. You’re the only one he’ll lighten up to.” Captain Fowler ordered, and you sighed heavily before leaving the entrance to the evidence room. As you left, you heard the door to the evidence room open and close.

Shit.

[yeeqn-blog]

━ ♡  hi ! it’s me again ,lacie , bringing back an old muse back aka yeeun, an actual soft and precious bean and not even 1% as mean as rosie is.  if you want to plot please give this a LIKE and i’ll shoot you a message and leave some love ! i will list some wanted connections in my intro but i also have a mini plot page HERE and a connection page HERE

nam yeeun looks just like ha sooyoung (yves), don’t you think? she is twenty-two years old, is a local at itaewon, and has been staying here for twenty-one years. i hear they work as anactress and is known to be softhearted, humble, idealistic and indecisive. i am yet to find out if it is true or not that they try to hide their family background but really who knows? we’ll have to wait and see. more about yeeun under the cut

- since the tender age of seven, yeeun dreamed about becoming an actress. of course most people thought that she’d change her opinion and grow out of it but even then she didn’t change her mind

-yeeun had always been a very soft around the edges, more than other people perhaps. while she could be social she actually enjoyed being alone so she could draw and just appreciate everything beautiful. ( yes she was that kid that would come up to random people and tell them how pretty they are). but she also grew up quite spoiled. there was rarely anything her parents wouldn’t give to her and somehow that also added to the little world she created for herself, where everything was just perfect. 

- of course everything about it would be okay but the truth is that her family actually consists of criminals, they have this whole shady business that just isn’t ... legal (lol). and having their daughter wanting to be an actress perhaps isn’t that good if you actually want to do things in secret.

-truth to be told, as she grew older she knew about her family doings and yet she decided to ignore that. she just kept pretending that she was a normal child despite of her knowledge. she knew that she couldn’t do anything about it and letting go off her comfortable was also difficult for her so for a while she just said nothing.

- as she grew older and slowly started to realize her dream she also became more distant to her family. she still loved them because they were her family but she just couldn’t live on with the guilt and suddenly her family became an obstacle for her dream instead the people who supported her.

- one day she just snapped (idk like one year ago ?? ), everything became too much for her and she chose to leave her family behind and cut off any contact with them. the decision was of course difficult for her and she still sometimes wonder if it was right but she can’t return either...

- shortly after that she also got a role after years of failing auditions and only playing roles with one minute screen time. she got the role of our typical second lead b*tch and not only that the drama was really popular. so for a while everything was fine and people even recognized her. she was slowly getting more popular and things couldn’t get better.

-but because i’m dramatic and want to make her life difficult one day she noticed someone following her. at first she just thought she was being paranoid but she wasn’t. she was receiving weird messages and all that and there was really someone who was following her.

-these messages didn’t stop and she also didn’t go to the police because she didn’t want to stir up some gossip and was afraid that the police would also dig into her family’s business.

- so yeeun being yeeun and hating any kind of confrontation, in her panic she just decided to leave the country for a year hoping that it’d stop.

- so after a year she returned and she’s now here still trying to get her career going. and while she gained some popularity it would’ve been easier for her if she didn’t leave but yeah. also she is still kind of paranoid not only of her family background being exposed but also she still doesn’t know who the person was who was leaving her these messages and all that.

personality

- as mentioned before, yeeun is really soft. not only in terms of being soft-hearted but she’s that person who’ll cry at kdramas when just some sad ost is playing in the background. she’s also really affectionate and despite being an actress an open book. it’s not difficult to read her feelings but she also isn’t afraid of showing them. she likes to show people that she appreciates them and she’ll probably tell them that she loves them all the time. she means everything she says but the problem is that she also thinks others do so. she’s really gullible and trusts people way too easily, that’s why she gets attached so quickly  ( she’s that person who says “what we aren’t friends? but we talked once). she’ll give everyone 1000x chances even when they don’t deserve them but if you’ve fucked up really bad she’ll cut you out her life and continue being passive-agressive because just the way she is.

-also please don’t let her decide things, she can’t even decide on what to wear because she’s so indecisive, she will be like “whatever you prefer” because a) she doesn’t want to come off as selfish and b) she hates deciding for others. she’s basically a pushover ( and i hate her for it). sometimes (or everytime) she likes to force her ideals on people, she has the tendency to over-romanticize things and ignore everything that might not fit into her image BUT she can’t ignore anyone criticizing her. she’ll take it to heart and cry about it a week (tbh) because in reality she is a little insecure, she always questions her actions or her talent in acting and if someone says anything about it or just gives some useful criticism she’ll be lowkey offended and just overthink everything. 

- also she loves the art, the ocean, drawing and just pretty things in general. she loves staring at everything that is beautiful whether it’s a thing or a person. she’ll probably come up to random people and ask them if she can draw them. 

-TBH i could write more this is just a really rough description of her personality but i’m getting lazy so here are some wanted plots (some might already listed in the plot page)

- anti-fans/enemies : i just want some people who don’t like her for whatever reason and wrote mean comments about her online because i like seeing my baby hurt and desperately trying to change their opinion 

- a manager: it doesn’t even have to be a ‘real’ manager but someone who has stick around with her since the beginning of her career and did all the driving to the auditions

- someone she might’ve accused of being the person who has followed her or she thinks it’s that person

- an one-sided love on her because she hates hurting people so i want her to put her in a difficult spot :’)))

- someone who just befriended her for the sake of popularity or to take advantage of her wealth

- a fan or even her first fan ???

-  a bad influence on her , someone please fuck her up

- a muse, someone she will always bother just she can draw them

- best friends !!!!! (1/2) 

- also just friends in general 

-people who try to sabotage her career

-someone who blackmails her bcs they know about her background 

[lowkeyorloki]

Hello it’s BC anon so anyway here’s why I think y/n is gonna do the dumping but basically you said awhile ago that Loki has more to lose from this relationship (i don’t remember if it was in an ask or in the notes of a chapter but it stuck with me) and also Ive been rereading older chapters for clues (and also bc I just really love asis) and really paying attention to what loki says and does and you can tell he’s really committed to her and the relationship bc he invites her into his family and stuff! He also straight up tells her he’ll never leave her in the Thor’s birthday chapter. So while I think he is suuuuuper pissed at her and he is going to fight with her, she is going to be the one to end things! Also ooooo I haven’t thought about what I’d do in the situation, tbh I like to think I’m better at communicating than y/n and therefore wouldn’t end up in this situation but yeah no that’s wishful thinking on my part lol. I don’t think I’d dump Loki he doesn’t deserve that and he’s been nothing but good! Anyway I hope your tests go well I’m sure you’re gonna ace them❤️

BC Anon: omg no wait BC anon back bc no if I was actually y/n I never would even make it this far in the fic bc I would’ve dumped Loki when I found out he kept narvi a secret from me LMAOOO good thing I am not actually y/n or the story would’ve been much shorter and less interesting

OKAY you're an absolute king for that second message because tbh? As you should. Like asis is super fun but certainly not any type of guide for someone's real life and if your partner keeps an entire CHILD hidden from you then yeah you should probably leave. The reason it "works" in asis is because 1) it's Loki and 2) it is FICTION and a fantasy. Literally nothing about this fic would play out in real life and that's for the better but to read/write it... hehehe that's totally different ;)

Also I love how much you are analyzing the fic! I'm glad that me saying Loki has more to lose in the relationship resonated with you, because it is a pretty big piece of info! And he is v committed as well. So is y/n, just as much as Loki, but the difference is that Loki has his life established and y/n does not. Like, Loki is where he's going to be for the rest of his life and doing what he's going to be doing for the rest of his life. College is not forever, so you could argue that y/n is in somewhat of a transitory spot right now. It doesn't change how much they love each other, and they both certainly have some sort of idea that they want to end up together, but it's worth acknowledging that y/n is still figuring out what she wants her life to look like overall. That's something Loki has already done. The Thor birthday chapter is a pretty solid example of all that.

You also brought up that Loki said he would never leave her in that chapter. That's a good observation. The two delve more into that idea in the second bookstore chapter - the one with Loki, Y/N, and Narvi. (Protip: if I were you, or any other asis reader, I would re read that chapter before next week's update 👀)

Annnnyyywaaaayyyyy :) I also want to think I would react better than y/n is but I honestly have no clue. On top of that, I don't know what a relationship with Loki would look like in an AU where he isn't some type of public figure (be it a God or that guy who totally ruined NY ten years ago) and I think that if we all had 0 idea of who Loki was, we would be more selfish (and not only that, but more willing to simply acknowledge his faults) because he wouldn't be someone we have an established connection to. Most of us have been Loki fans for YEARS, but in asis, you've known him for less than one and have no prior knowledge of him. It's a totally different dynamic than if one of us were actually inserted into the story.

THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE AND GOOD LUCK WISH I just gotta get through the next two weeks and then my school schedule gets manageable again!! I'm v excited for that to happen :)

[eucliffesting]

why do you hate touken?

Glad you asked!

(Edit: this ended up being a lot longer than I was expectingholy shit????)(Another edit: I forgot to actually censor the word to**ken so now it’s gonna come up in the tags I’m sorry lads)

First of all, I wanna start by saying that I’m not a “saltyfujoshi who’s upset that my yaoi ship isn’t canon” or a “Touka-hatingmisogynist”. I like hidekane but that doesn’t affect my views on touken bc Iknew that it wouldn’t be canon and that a touken endgame was more likely. Also I’vealways loved Touka since I started the series two years ago, but her currentcharacter regression is what’s slowly making me dislike her. Also I’m writingall of this off the top of my head, so sorry if I give any false information orleave important bits out!!

Okay so I actually used to like touken because I thoughtthey had a lot of potential for development and really could’ve been a greatship. My main problem with it is how poorly written the ship is. I’m mainlyfocusing on :re because I loved the og Tokyo ghoul series. Let’s start withtheir development from both characters’ perspectives. Start of :re, we seelight-haired Touka, all beautiful, grown up and mature-looking running her own café.Wonderful! Turns out she built the :re café as a home for Kaneki to come backto, even though everyone else thought he was missed or dead. Tbh I thought itwould be for everyone since she valued her family and friends at Anteiku asmuch as Kaneki but still: it’s really sweet, I can’t fault it much. At the sametime, it’s also very disappointing because og Touka had clear goals in life,wanted to attend school and university and build an independent life and careerfor herself and cared about all of her friends and family equally. That’s theTouka I love. But no, let’s have her wait around for several years for a guyshe’s merely just friends with and doesn’t know that well. Because that’s agreat way to write a strong, independent, smart female main character! Also, whatdid she do for him other than the :re cafe? She recognised Kaneki as Haiseimmediately and said she didn’t want to force herself upon him and make himremember his actual self, which sounds nice of her in theory, but she knew thathe wasn’t actually happy at the CCG and how he was treated there. Yet she didnothing to try and help?? She even told Tsukiyama to just give up when hewanted to save Kaneki?? I thought she loves him? Touken development from Kaneki’sperspective: he thinks Touka is very pretty. That’s really it. And that’s whilehe has amnesia. What did she doexactly to inspire him to keep living? What did she sacrifice for him? What otherromantic things does he say about her except for her pretty appearance? Notmuch.

Let’s skip forward a bit. Touka and Kaneki haven’t seen eachother properly for ages and haven’t had a proper conversation. Bear in mind:they’re still just friends at this point. Not even best friends or anything.Kaneki’s spent more time with Nishiki than with Touka at this point. This is agreat opportunity for them to catch up and have a nice, meaningfulconversation. What does Touka think a great thing to bring up in thisconversation is? Ask if Kaneki’s a virgin! This is based solely on “how helooked at her” when he had amnesia.Not long after asking this, she says that she’s always trying to find ways tostop him from leaving, which heavily implies she was trying to tie him downwith a relationship which is really gross. I understand that she hasabandonment issues due to her past, but that isn’t a good enough excuse. Themeaningful conversation I was hoping for comes back into light when the two ofthem start talking about Yoriko and Touka asks Kaneki about Hide and how hecopes with it. Kaneki gives her a heartfelt answer about how he could never doanything concrete because he’ll start missing Hide again. This is a wonderful opportunityfor them to mutually discuss what it’s like to be a ghoul with a human bestfriend and how to handle the pain, therefore developing and deepening theirrelationship. Let’s have a quick recap of the atmosphere here. They’re in anabandoned warehouse in the middle of a war, they’re tired and need to rest(which Kaneki suggests) and talking about their dead friends. Of course, thissituation is BURSTING with romantic, sexual tension and Touka feels the need toclimb on him and kiss him out of the blue. Does this lead to them discussingtheir feelings like adults, seeing as Touka stans love to talk about her “amazingcharacter development and maturity”? Nope, they fuck without any protection orforeplay out of an impulsive decision which results in pregnancy. One, how clichécould you possibly get? Two, didn’t Itori say that conception with ghouls wasvery unlikely at the start? And we’re supposed to believe that this chaptermakes sense and isn’t ooc at all? We’re supposed to just accept it because “she’sa girl and he’s a boy”? Kaneki could’ve had a sex scene with Hide or Nishiki inthat chapter and it would’ve made the same amount of sense tbh.

Moving on again. I would’ve been alright with chapter 125 ifthey had realised what they had done was irresponsible, yet they recognise thefeelings they have towards each other and start building a healthy romanticrelationship at a reasonable pace, discussing their issues and working toresolve them. Or, it could’ve been hinted at or explained that Kaneki is usingTouka/sex as an emotional crutch due to his mental illness. These would’ve madesense. But no, Ishida doesn’t ever discuss the unhealthy aspects of theirrelationship which is what led me to hate the ship even more. Within the next10 or so chapters they’re fucking pregnant and married? Even though they wereonly just friends like 11 chapters prior? Where was the development? How can y’allhonestly think this is good writing? It’s so rushed and forced and makes nosense. They’ve literally been dating for like 2.5 seconds, why are they alreadymarried? They’re married and they hardly know anything about each other! Beforeyou argue this point, lemme explain:

-         We’re supposed to be seeing Touka as Kaneki’sOne True Love and the light of his life but she’s STILL hitting him at thispoint in their relationship. I don’t care how many people try to brush it offas comedy or “tsundere behaviour” it’s domestic abuse! Why is Kaneki’s motherabusing him seen as tragic and a massive factor towards his mental healthissues, yet Touka, the Love Of His Life, punching him into a table (knockinghim unconscious and saying “I feel much better now!” afterwards), pushing himviolently and calling him an idiot when he wants to have a serious conversationwith her is seen as comedy? Why? Because she’s pretty? Because she’s his waifu?It was even shown that he was worried about her hitting him again. I’ve seensome people say “He’s a grown man if it’s abuse he could just leave”. Mostabuse victims don’t recognise it as abuse dumbass!!! He literally said he wasused to being beaten by those he cared about which is why he’s normalised it inhis mind!! Just because she’s a girl it doesn’t make it okay for her to beabusing her partner. Touka stans like to use the excuse “She doesn’t know abouthis past!” which EXACTLY proves the point I’m making. She hardly knows him! Andthey’re married! Regardless of if she knows that he’s an abuse survivor or not,her actions are still gross. Y’all wanna talk about her “character development”but she’s still acting like her angsty 16-year-old self who can’t express herfeelings properly. She’s an adult woman now. It’s not fair of her to treatKaneki like this when he’s been nothing but kind to her throughout theirrelationship.

-         I’ve also seen the excuse “Well, Kaneki left herwhen she has abandonment issues so he’s just as bad as her! It’s mutual abuse!”.First of all, you’ve just admitted the ship is abusive. Congrats, you playedyourself. Secondly, it proves my point again. He hardly knows about her too!You would think that Kaneki would take it upon himself to get to know Touka andher past and try to understand her as a person before marrying her. And we’resupposed to think that he’s smart? Of course, they were only friends at thetime and he had no obligations to Touka but it’s still not great that he lefther. Arguably, he originally left so that he could be strong enough to protectthose he cares about, including her, sooo yeah. The idea that he’s using her asan emotional crutch makes a lot of sense here, but we all know Ishida wouldnever show touken as the unhealthy relationship it is.

Next point, more bad writing. How is Kaneki out here sayingthat Touka is his only reason to live and calling her his best friend? I’m notdenying the fact that he loves her (I truly believe he does, but not to theextent that’s being currently portrayed), but is he forgetting other peoplehave done for him in the past? Who stopped Kaneki from taking his own life?Hide! Kaneki could’ve hallucinated about Touka down in that sewer if she wasreally the Light Of His Life, but no, he thought of Hide because his subconsciousknows that Hide is the only person who could’ve truly saved him at that point. Whatdid Touka do to stop him from taking his life? I’m not trying to say that Hideis better than her, but it makes no sense for Ishida to suddenly keep pushingthe idea that Kaneki’s number one top priority is Touka and pushing hisrelationships with other characters to the side. Don’t even get me started onhow Tsukiyama’s being treated. He starved himself for 3 years and was miserableafter thinking that Kaneki was dead then all of a sudden, he’s happy to plan atouken wedding? Who is this man idk him?? Honestly though, how is Kaneki 100%deeply and madly in love with her when the only romantic development from hisside was calling her pretty? They’ve hardly spent any time together where didhe find the time to fall in love with her and consider her as his best friend. Also,another thing; ghouls getting married via bitemarks is the dumbest thing I’veever heard and sounds like bad fanfiction. Ayato literally ate Touka’s kagunein the past and she’s recovered. Kaneki has been tortured and had his toesripped off in the past and that’s healed. Yet his bitemarks on Touka stayed?What the literal fuck? By this logic, Kaneki is also married to Rize, Amon (inthe ova they were canonly married and Kaneki asked for a divorce), arguablyHide depending on if he bit his shoulder and was already married to Touka fromtheir fight with Tsukiyama in the church. Yet this wasn’t pointed out untilnow. Bad. Writing.

Another point: I cannot believe touken stans are out here really thinking that sex cures depression and that Kaneki found ‘true happiness’ by busting a nut in Touka like lmao are you serious? Being with Touka doesn’t automatically erase his mental illness, the torture he’s been through, his psychological and physical damages and his tragic childhood. Yes, being with her does add a positive aspect to his life but this isn’t how mental illness works at all, you don’t need to be a medical expert to know that, it’s just common sense. 

I think this is my last point so here we go: Touka’scharacter regression due to touken and Kaneki. So far, it probably seems like I100% purely hate Touka, which is not true. I hate how she’s being written andtreated by the author. Like I said previously, I was literally in love with ogTouka. She was a total badass, she was smart, she was independent, she lovedschool, she loved everyone at Anteiku, she loved Yoriko and rabbits and musicand was just such a cool character. I originally shipped her with Kanekibecause I thought they had good potential and her character and independence wouldn’tfalter as a result of a romantic relationship. Well, I was wrong. Currently,Touka’s only relevance to the plot is to look pretty and be Kaneki’s waifu andbearer of his child. Ishida is trying to write her as a soft waifu but at thesame time she acts like an angsty teenager around Kaneki half of the time, howdoes that even work? How could you not possibly think this is unfair to her andis blatantly sexist writing? Because clearly a female lead can’t exist withoutbecoming dependant on a man or becoming a housewife at some point, right? Whydoes her character have to revolve around him yet his character doesn’t have torevolve around her? Why does her character and personality have to suffer as a result of a relationship?News flash: women can be in love and still be their own person. ToukaKirishima, who valued school dearly and loved her best friend Yoriko so muchthat she ate human food solely because she knew how hard Yoriko worked to makeit for her, gave up on her life goals and hardly cared when Yoriko was gonnadie? Even Kaneki thought that was weird. Also, Ishida is trying to push theidea that Touka has become smart and mature and makes good decisions. Uh,where? She waited around for Kaneki for several years when she could’ve beendoing more with her life, she had unprotected sex with him in the middle of awar, she’s now pregnant which puts her at a disadvantage as she has to fightand using her kagune would mean the baby would be absorbed as food for strength,which will cause emotional pain to her and to Kaneki. Wow she’s so smart,Einstein is shaking. Original Touka wouldn’t do this. She’s literally no betteras a 20 something year old woman as she was as a troubled 16-year-old child. Callit character development all you want, it’s character regression. Also, thispart is a bit of a reach I must admit, but Touka’s being drawn to look youngerwhich is really weird? Light-haired Touka at the start actually looks like anadult, yet current Touka looks like a teenager with her original hairstyle and bigshoujo eyes and a small nose and mouth in quite a lot of panels. Ishida evendrew her with the cutesy sparkly shoujo background when she told Kaneki thatshe was pregnant. Was that necessary? You can’t replace her current lack of apersonality with a pretty face, she actually needs character development lol. I’mnot denying that she actually loves Kaneki (once again, I truly think she doesbut needs to learn to express herself better and act like an actual adult).

I have more points I could make, but I’ll stop here becauseI literally wrote a whole essay here lmao. I just want to finish off by sayingthat even though I hate touken, I don’t hate touken shippers because I can seewhy people ship it, but I hate that 95% of you guys blatantly ignore theunhealthy aspects of their relationship and refuse to hear any criticism about Toukaor Kaneki because that’s just gross. The ship and the characters are problematicwhether you like it or not. Like I said, I wrote all of this off the top of myhead so if I’ve said anything that’s incorrect or missed things out please tellme!!

[zainbap]

hi zain!! i just wanted you to know that i really like you and your blog and that i'm always happy to find new bap blogs to follow that really love and support our boys bc they truly deserve it and i wish more people could see it… anyway i'm writing you also bc i'm a bit worried about yongguk, i mean he's been looking better lately 1/3

but as a depressed person myself (with an anxiety disorder too) i know quite well that depression doesn’t just go away in a matter of months and that the fact he smiles more often and looks more comfortable in public situation doesn’t mean he’s really feeling better, bc yeah we watch those shows and interviews but deep down we don’t know anything about their private lives and we can’t assume someone is doing good just by watching something that is heavily manipulated after all(like i said shows and interviews, i hope it makes sense). so i wanted to ask you, what do you think? i really hope he feels better btw and that he’ll find real happiness someday bc he deserves it so much!

Oh wow, hello! Thank you so much for liking my blog :)

And omg ok let’s talk about my dude Yongguk…

Indeed, depression is not something you get cured from easily. I was in deep depression a couple years ago, and while I wouldn’t call myself depressed today, it still feels wrong to say I’m fully “cured”, too. Depression is a horrible sickness, and I think it kinda always stays with you.

When it comes to depression, I think Yongguk was at his worst during the lawsuit, when he wrote AM 4:44. He sounds suicidal in those lyrics, and if I had been a baby back when he released it, I probably would’ve been terrified he was giving up on life. I think he was in a really dark place at that time, and didn’t know how else to handle his emotions other than write a song about it. It’s how he expresses himself the best, after all.

Last year, when he was diagnosed with panic disorder and had to take a break, I don’t think the depression was the main issue. I do think Yongguk, as well as the other members, have been happier ever since they came back after the lawsuit. I’m not saying he was perfectly happy when going on break last year, but I think it had more to do with anxiety than him being depressed.

You talk about interviews and whatnot manipulating things, and I get what you mean, but when I say I think Yongguk is happy these days, it’s not really because of how he acts in interviews. (I mean, it’s part of it, because I know he can be completely cold and quiet even in public situations if he wants to, so to see him smile and goof around certainly says something, in my opinion.)

But I think Yongguk is happier now because of how his own members pointed out his enthusiasm over the mafia game. Because his best friend Dindin commented on a pic with his gummy smile saying “I haven’t seen you smile like this in a while”. Because he himself told us he is happy now. Because of that silly ass instagram story he did a few weeks back of a roll of paper rolling away in the wind with the caption “don’t go”. Because of him wanting to document the night he and Yongnam got shitfaced drunk.

He doesn’t seem to be taking himself so seriously now, and tbh I think that’s very healthy. I really do think he’s happier now than he’s been in a long time. Seeing him on Dindin’s instragram story this morning all smiley and happy with friends gave me so much life, and I feel like I see a lot of that these days.

I get that you worry, I really do, but I also think we should draw a line somewhere. Somewhere we gotta let ourselves believe our idols are fine, because worrying ourselves to death won’t do anyone any good. I did that for Yongguk last year, but I don’t anymore, and for that I’m thankful.

Whoop, longass answer~

[evilqueens]

A vampire mermaid AU. After surviving a shipwreck caused by deadly sea creatures, a recovering Robin’s left to wonder why he was spared. He wasn’t left completely unscathed by them however, and he soon learns that one particular mermaid may not be finished with him after all.

yooo. guess what i finally finished! here’s chapter two of the (still untitled) vampire mermaid au (like tbh at this point i will take suggestions on the title because honestly i just don’t know). 

tagging my fav cheerleaders @idoltina @the-alpha-incipiens (who both were so kind as to look over this) and @the-notsoevil-queen (who made art and more art like seriously go look at it bc i’m still crying about it).

and here’s part one.

(chapter two - bitten)

Three days Robin spends in bed, and by the the last evening he swears he’s about to go mad from the tediousness of doing nothing. His aches serve as a distraction at first — that first morning was the worst when he woke to muscles feeling even more sore than the night before, and he couldn’t deny how nice the prospect of sleeping it off sounded. But a whole day of sleep quickly lent to a good portion of that night with him wide awake and having nothing to do.

Mary Margaret had fussed over him the entire time, insisting he sleep once he’d decided he’d had enough of doing so, bringing him his meals herself and keeping him company while he ate. She’d taken Roland to the market, and had come back to the manor delivering well-wishes from everyone in Mist Haven who knew Robin, and it had made him itch even more to leave this damn room and get a proper start to his summer.

Today he’s finally going to get to do just that — no matter what his aching body or Mary Margaret had to say about it.

He changes into the clothes Leo Blanchard had been surprisingly thoughtful enough to come deliver to Robin himself, and Robin spares a quick thank you to the Fates that he hadn’t thought to bring anything of particular value with him on this trip, or else it would’ve found its way to the bottom of the ocean. He trains himself to ignore the pains that shoot through his body as he moves his way around the room. But he’s still left a bit breathless by the time he’s deemed himself presentable enough to go out, and he’s grateful that Mary Margaret had been so kind as to care for Roland herself these past few days — he’s not sure he would’ve quite managed getting them both ready for the day.

He takes a quick look in the mirror, his eyes immediately landing on the bandage on his neck, and he sighs. The sting of the bite has subsided to slight pains that come and go, and the redness and swelling have let up a bit as well, but Robin can’t help the unease of having the wound as he changes the small bandage for it. The relief of living through a mermaid attack is still fierce, and strengthened by the fact that his boy made it through something that’s normally unavoidably fatal with barely a scratch on him. But seeing the bite in the mirror fills Robin with a vague sense of violation, along with unwanted questions regarding how exactly he and Roland ended up safely on Mist Haven shores, miles away from where the ship had crashed.

He covers up the bite again, and idly considers throwing on a scarf despite the hot and humid weather. Another discomfort at having the bite — people looking, people asking questions. Mary Margaret stares at the bandage far more than Robin appreciates, and he’s loathe to go into town and receive the same attention.

He makes his way downstairs, each step just a touch away from brutal as the sore muscles in his legs and his back protest. He makes sure to mask the pain however, as Mary Margaret insisting he spend another day holed up in his appointed room is not even close to an option he’s willing to entertain.

He finds her and Roland in the kitchen, along with a maid washing dishes who offers him some breakfast. He turns her down, much to Mary Margaret’s dismay.

“I’ll eat at the tavern,” Robin assures her. “I’ve wasted three days of this trip lying in bed, I’m far enough behind schedule as it is,” he jokes.

Mary Margaret quirks an eyebrow, unamused. “You were recovering,” she corrects him. “And you have the whole summer to catch up with everyone in town. You need to eat,” she insists, and Robin glances at the poor maid, who’s stopped washing the dish in her hands and is waiting unsurely for direct instruction.

Robin nods towards the leftover food sitting on the stove. “Scrambled eggs sound lovely,” he says, and the maid smiles in assent and sets the soapy plate down. He immediately cuts off Mary Margaret’s insistences of him having more than scrambled eggs, “A plate of scrambled eggs is more than enough to get me to the tavern, where I promise you I will insist they treat me like a king.” He smirks at her scowl.

“Papa,” Roland pipes up before Mary Margaret can continue her argument, “can we go to the beach?”

The air gets tinged with tension. “What for, my boy?” Robin asks, though he certainly doesn’t need to.

“I want to see the mermaid,” Roland answers, oblivious to the strain in the mood. He pushes around crumbs of food on his plate with his spoon.

Robin sees Mary Margaret glance at the bandage on his neck.

Robin moves to pick the boy up, swallowing down a groan as his muscles ache in protest. “Maybe later my boy,” he says with a slight tightness in his voice that he hopes Mary Margaret doesn’t notice. “First we’ve got to go see all our friends at the pub. I know Will and Little John are dying to see you!” He ruffles Roland’s curls, earning a giggle and a nod. “Let’s get to it then!”

He forces his aching legs to move forward, as quick as he can to avoid Mary Margaret’s protests, though he spares an apologetic glance at the maid standing with a plate of scrambled eggs in hand.

He manages to make it out the front door before acquiescing to his screaming muscles and putting Roland down, and he counts it as an accomplishment.

—

It’s impossible to venture out into the village and not think of Marian.

It’s the main reason Robin waited so long after the loss of her to visit Mist Haven. For most of her life, this place was the only home she’d ever known — the only place she’d ever cared to call a home. As much as he knew she enjoyed the forests of Sherwood, he’d long since accepted the ingrained sense of peace and comfort Marian carried for this small, seaside village. And he knows, if she’d still been around, they eventually would’ve found themselves back here, settled in a nice little cottage, with Marian raising Roland to love the sea as much as she did.

The ache in Robin’s heart is one he knows will never fully disappear.

The heat of the sun is more uncomfortable than Robin expects as he and Roland make their way through the village square. It’s late in the morning, not yet noon but close, and Robin supposes his lack of tolerance for the heat is probably more due to all the other discomforts on his body.

Trying to distract himself, he takes a good look at the square, at the people, and keeps an eye on Roland, who’s skipping a few paces in front of him — most likely impatient with the irritatingly slow stride Robin’s managing. He takes note of familiar establishments, Marian’s favorite shops, and new places he plans to come visit in the next couple of days. As Mary Margaret had pointed out, he has the whole summer to become reacquainted with Mist Haven and all that he’s missed in three years he’s been gone. And he’s determined not to miss a single spot.

A nostalgic warmth fills his chest that brings some relief to the ache in his heart.

When they reach the tavern, Robin takes hold of Roland’s hand and opens the door for them. There’s not much change in humidity inside the pub, but Robin breathes out a sigh of relief once he loses the feeling of the sun’s rays on the back of his neck.

The tavern’s not busy, probably won’t see more people till lunchtime at the earliest, and Robin guides Roland towards the counter with ease. He watches Little John take notice of their arrival with a huge smile, and the man sets down the rag and mug he was wiping. Roland hollers when he sees him, escaping Robin’s grip on his hand and running the rest of the way to the counter.

“Little John!”

John’s one of few people from town Roland’s already gotten to meet, thanks to the occasional trips they’ve made to Sherwood over the last few years. Little John, a friend Robin’s had long before they’d both stumbled into this little seaside village together, had visited the most recently along with Will Scarlet, and it’s the most vivid memory four-year-old Roland has of any of his honorary relatives. The excitement emanating from the boy brings a smile to Robin’s face.

He braces himself for the onslaught of pain, and then picks up Roland and places him on the counter. He can’t help the tight grunt of pain he lets out, and the grin on John’s face falters.

“Take it easy, there,” John tells him, a big hand moving to grip Roland’s leg and slide him closer. Roland giggles at the motion. “I hear you’ve had a rough couple of days.”

Understatement, Robin thinks, and John smirks at his friend’s grimace.

“I’m a bit worse for wear,” Robin admits, taking a seat on a stool. His mind brings forth a brief flash of remembrance for the men he saw lose their lives a few days ago, and his eyes turn somber.

John’s face turns apologetic. “The guys and I would’ve made our way over to the Blanchard manor to see you,” he explains, “but y’know, I’ve never been as close to good ol’ Leopold as you have.” John gives him a wink, which Robin meets with a tight smile.

“I wouldn’t have been pleasant company anyway,” Robin dismisses. “Not much excitement in watching me toss and turn in bed for three days.”

“Well how about you catch me up on how you ended up bed-ridden in the first place?” When the discomfort doesn’t leave Robin’s face, John adds, “Maybe over a drink?”

“I can’t imagine you haven’t already heard what happened,” Robin said, “If not from the rumor mill, then at least from Mary Margaret.”

John smirks at the quip, but pushes on, “Nothing like hearing it from the source himself. Now c’mon, tell me exactly how you managed to walk away from a ship doomed to mermaids.”

“A mermaid helped!” Roland pipes up, and Robin suppresses a groan.

“A mermaid helped?” John repeats, a little dumbfounded. He indulges Roland nevertheless, “You don’t say?”

Roland nods enthusiastically. “Yes, she helped me and Papa and she bringed us to the beach!”

John looks up at Robin’s tight expression and raises an eyebrow. Not quite knowing what to say (not quite knowing if he could truthfully dispute Roland’s story, if he’s honest), Robin settles on what he does remember. “I fell off the ship, somehow ended up on the shore, and woke up at the Blanchard manor.”

“With a bite,” John adds, looking pointedly at the bandage on Robin’s neck. “You forgot that part.”

“I don’t really know much about that part.”

John stares silently at him for a moment before shaking his head. “Only you would get attacked by mermaids and live to tell the tale,” he marvels. He raises the glass he’d been cleaning in the air. “Tonight, I say we drink, to the almighty Prince of Thieves —”

Robin rolls his eyes at the title, but he can’t stop the smile curving his lips. Drinks that night sound great, if he’s honest. A night out with friends he’s missed dearly. Even if the attention will be on the tragedy he just survived, or the wound on his neck, it’s still step toward some normalcy — toward the idea he’d had of how he’d be spending his trip before even having boarded that boat.

“—with charms so strong not even a mermaid could resist,” John finishes, and Robin’s smile falters.

“You believe him?” Robin asks, glancing at Roland who’s gleefully lifted his fist in the air to match the glass in John’s hand.

“I believe the kid has no reason to lie,” John answers. And despite the absurdity of it, Robin can’t find it himself to disagree.

—

The steady sound of the waterfall gushing a few meters away has become rather comforting in the short while Regina’s been its presence, and with each passing second she’s even more reluctant to head home.

The end of her tail dips into the water as she sits at the edge of a rocky piece of land, shoveling up to splash water as she braids parts of her hair. It’s been three days since she’s been home — three days since she saved the boy and his father, and she has since been too troubled by her actions to face talking to anyone. Particularly anyone who might’ve seen what she had done.

She doesn’t regret saving them (the boy’s sweet, brown eyes and dimpled cheeks haven’t left her thoughts since she deposited him next to his unconscious father that evening), but she knows her motives would be troubling to her peers — laughable to most — and altogether a great opportunity for them to bring up her mother.

No one shies away from any chance to badmouth Cora.

Once Regina finishes her braid she starts on another, resolved to stay just a little longer before finally making it back to the reefs. The longer she stays away, the more questions she’ll have to face. She’s halfway through the braid when she senses movement in the water of someone fast approaching. She flips her tail back out of the water, let it land next to her with a wet thud. Her eyes narrow as she sees the bright green flash moving towards her in the water, and though she immediately recognizes who it is, she stays tense, bracing herself for the conversation she’s been trying to avoid for the past couple of days.

Tink’s head breaks through the surface bun-first, and she moves her hands to grip the edge of land where Regina’s seated. “What’re you doing here?” she asks, raising her voice against the gush of the waterfall. “I’ve been waiting for you to come back for days.” There’s a hint of exasperation in her voice.

“What for?” Regina asks, hoping to direct the subject away from her.

“Aurora’s baby was born,” Tink tells her, and Regina feels a tinge of guilt in her chest. She and Aurora aren’t close; but still, the birth of a baby is an occasion involving the whole family of mermaids in the reefs. A hint of irritation sweeps through her, knowing that missing such an event had to have drawn attention to her absence by more than just Tink.

“I’m sure she managed just fine without me being there,” Regina says. “Why aren’t you there now?” she asks.

Tink glares at her. “I’ve been looking for you!” she shoots back, miffed. “I hope whatever it is that’s kept you here is worth Blue’s wrath when you get home.” She looks satisfied when Regina’s face falls.

“Of course she would take the time through helping someone give birth to notice I’m not there,” Regina mutters. She lets the end of her tail fall back into the water.

“So why weren’t you there?” Tink probes.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind,” Regina answers vaguely. “Too much noise in the reefs to think clearly.”

Tink raises an eyebrow. “And what exactly is on your mind that you’ve been away for three whole days? I asked everyone who came back from that hunting trip for you, even Zelena” — Tink makes a face at the name — “and no one knew what happened to you.”

Relief floods through Regina. She strongly hopes it’s the truth, and no one had paid enough attention to witness her heroic antics. She thinks of the man she left half-conscious on the shore, and one of her other worries comes to sit first on her mind. Without really thinking about it, Regina asks, “What do you know about the biting bond?”

Tink’s face turns to one of confusion. “Sorry?”

Regina looks away. “You know, when you bite a human, but don’t kill them. Surely your access into the Knowledge Caves has granted you some information on that.”

“It’s not something I’ve ever cared to look into,” Tink answers unsurely, still thrown by Regina’s question. “Why do you ask?” She gives Regina a suspicious look. “You didn’t… do that, did you?”

Regina’s attention goes back to the braids in her hair, which is slightly drier with the amount of time she’d been sitting out of the water. She notices the dryness of her upper tail now as well.

“Regina,” Tink says firmly. “Did you create a bond with a human?” There’s some admonishment in her tone that Regina immediately resents, and she rolls her eyes at the little blonde.

Seeing no point in lying, she responds with, “You say it as if I set out to do so.”

“Well I don’t really see how you could’ve done it on accident,” Tink says. “Even if for any reason you were interrupted mid-bite, they still would’ve drowned.”

Regina sighs, leaning forward to cup some water in her hands. Letting the water fall on the scales of her tail, she starts, “You know I don’t like eating human children…”

Tink’s eyes soften slightly, but she doesn’t answer.

Regina continues, “There was a little boy on the ship we hunted three days ago. He fell overboard, and… I couldn’t handle watching anyone get to him. So I rescued him.” She takes a breath. “His father was on the ship. And I wasn’t gonna leave the boy without him, without someone to care for him, or what was the point?” Though her resolve was solid at the time, the excuse now sounds weak saying it aloud to someone who doesn’t share the same position as her.

She avoids Tink’s eyes, cupping more water in her hands to drop on her tail. She keeps going, “I saved the man, but I didn’t get a chance to feed beforehand. So I had to bite him…” She awkwardly looks over at Tink then, having nothing else to say.

Tink’s eyes are wide as she looks at Regina, seeming at a loss for what to say. “That’s…” she trails off.

Regina rolls her eyes at her friend’s reaction (overreaction in her opinion). “It’s not like I’m gonna do anything about it,” she tells her, exasperated. “I’ll never even see him again.”

“Won’t you?” Tink asks. The question throws Regina, and Tink continues, “I may not know the details of bonding, but I do know basics. They’re not just bound to you, you’re bound to them too. You don’t sense him at all?”

“No,” Regina answers, and to her relief it’s the truth. Yes, she’s spent the last three days thinking of nothing but him and his son (were they rescued? has he recovered?), but aside from this unhealthy new obsession, she hasn’t felt any different since having bitten the man.

Tink’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “Really? That’s not how I’ve heard it goes.” Her eyes brighten with an idea. “Oh, Miss Nimue would know for sure, we could go ask —”

“No!” Regina launches herself into the water, Tink moving back instinctively. “You will tell no one about this,” she tells her friend darkly. “I told you, I feel nothing, and I’ll never see him again so it doesn’t matter. Let’s just go home,” she says, and dives underwater.

Tink follows her, looking uncertain. “This could be dangerous Regina, you should try to —”

“There is no danger,” she cuts Tink off. Then, knowing Tink’s thoughts must have drifted to Cora at least once during this conversation (it always comes back to Cora), Regina asserts, “I won’t go near another human ever again and let them live to tell the tale.”

Although she means it as the truth, it sounds like a lie to her ears.

—

Robin can’t sleep.

It’s been over an hour since he’d returned from the tavern, with just enough ale in his belly to give some relief to the sore spots on his body. But apparently, not enough to lull him into sleep. The manor is dark and quiet, and Robin takes a seat on the couch in the parlor, the thought of lying awake in his bed not at all an enticing one after having done nothing but for the past three days.

Instead, he sits back on the couch and lets his thoughts run. He thinks of Marian, whose memory is so engraved in every inch of this town that he sometimes finds it hard to breathe. He wonders if he’ll be able to make it through the whole summer here when he has a memory of her for almost every part of the town, memories he hasn’t had a chance to make peace with yet, and he wonders if he’s ready to do that now.

He knows she would want this, he tries to remind himself, that she would want him here. She would want him to show Roland every place in this village that mattered to her, to share this part of his mother’s life to him because for so long it was everything to her. She would want Robin to take him to have lunch with Granny Lucas, and to show him the quirky trinket shop that wasn’t there the last time Robin was here, but he knows that Marian would’ve loved. She would want him to take Roland to the beach as often as was allowed, have him become acquainted with sand in his shoes and his curls, and learning to collect seashells and how to be mindful of the tide.

Roland wants that now, an unwanted voice reminds him, though another part of Robin is quick to argue that his constant requests to visit the beach have little to do with the beach itself and more to do with the deadly creatures living deeper in the waters. Robin sighs, rubbing his eyes as his thoughts turn back to this dreaded subject he’s learning is inevitable now.

He needs to change his bandage, he remembers, and his hand moves to gently rip the cloth off his neck. He can’t bring himself to move however, to go clean the wound and cover it up again. His mind goes back to his night at the pub, where Little John had gleefully told everyone that Robin had charmed a mermaid into saving him and Roland from certain death. And all his friends, pleasantly drunk and needing little more to celebrate, had cheered without a second thought.

He thinks back to Roland, who’s tried to get away with enough fibs that Robin knows when the boy’s being untruthful. And so he knows his son isn’t lying, he truly believes the story he’s told anyone who would listen. And though that’s not exactly enough for Robin to believe something so absurd, so unheard of, one thing is certain -- for there’s no other way he and Roland could’ve ended up safely on the shores of Mist Haven otherwise: someone (something?) in the water had saved them.

And despite his desire to just forget the incident happened and move on, Robin knows he has to find out who or what it was that did. He feels a stirring in his chest as he reaches that decision, and it seems to help solidify it as Robin tries to figure out how exactly to go about solving this mystery. The beach, something inside him says, and he doesn’t shy away from the thought this time, as he figures that’s as good a starting point as any, maybe talk to Mr. Smee again to see what he remembers, what he saw…

The beach.

He doesn’t really think about it as he gets up, moves out of the parlor and to the front door. It’s when the warm heat outside hits his face that he thinks to himself that what he’s doing is ridiculous, but it does nothing to stop him as he starts making his way towards the beach.

It’s a bit of a walk, and by the time he reaches the shores his muscles are complaining once more, but he pays his discomfort little mind as he ventures closer to the water. It’s faint, but he can hear it now; a soft tune that he now knows has been humming since he left the manor, not loud enough to reach his ears until he reached the beach, but with a luring quality strong enough to reach his heart from all the way back in the parlor.

He follows the song now, entranced. Somewhere in the back of his head he recognizes the hypnotic song, and a voice screams to turn back, to cover his ears, but the thought’s muted as Robin gets closer and the voice grows stronger. He reaches a small cluster of rocks by the waters, and his heartbeat quickens as he ventures his way through them. The moon was strong enough to light his way when he first reached the beach, but he’s careful now to watch his step amongst the dark, bumpy path, bracing his hands against boulders as he struggles to reach the water.

He sits on a low boulder resting on the sea, easing himself slowly into the shallow water. He’s wading waist-deep when the tune stops. He grips another nearby rock for purchase, his mind going foggy without the lilting guide telling him where to go.

“Interesting.”

Robin’s head whips around at the unexpected voice, and his eyes scan the sea trying to find its owner in the dark. He slowly wades further into the water, his feet beginning to lose contact with the floor of the sea, and his heartbeat quickening again as his mind slowly starts to clear. He can hear his instincts now telling him to get out of the water, but before he can process the thought enough to follow the instruction he sees her, peeking out from behind the farthest boulder.

He freezes at the sight of her, and after a moment she deems his lack of movement safe enough for her to venture forward. He notices her slight struggle with shallowness of the water and before he can tell himself not to, he’s moving forward himself to meet her. She tenses a bit as Robin approaches, but a quick glance at his eyes has a slight smirk gracing her lips.

Not breaking his gaze, she begins to wade backward now, her iridescent tail flipping forward underwater. She crooks a finger as an indication for Robin to follow her. He does, swimming deeper into the waters until they’ve reached the rock she was hiding behind. He’s submerged to the neck now, only the tips of his shoes touching the ground, and he idly realizes he went into the water fully clothed.

He stares warily at the mermaid, who seems to have lost any apprehension she might’ve had when he’d first entered the water. She’s beautiful, with long, dark hair falling over her shoulders. He has a flash of remembrance to what were probably those same thick locks blocking out the beam of the sunset almost four days ago. She seems to sense his anxiety (his fear, though he doesn’t wish to admit it), and she smiles in amusement. Her exposed teeth make him aware of the wound on his neck that he never got to re-bandage.

She moves closer, pushing into him until his back hits the side of the boulder. Her eyes are pitch black in the night, but they still seem to sparkle as she murmurs easily, “I never thought I’d see you again.”

[beone0fus]

I need to vent about this now that my planner is filled up and this realization has been reached. This probably sounds really whiny, but I'm seriously tired of being let down in these situations. Lol so I'm not doing anything or going anywhere for spring break and tbh I'm very disappointed bc I ALWAYS plan ALL this stuff, stress over it on top of my normal life and college, when SOMEONE ELSE is always the one to suggest the idea... and im the one let down after wasting my time. I asked off work way in advance bc my fiance suggested AT CHRISTMAS that I come visit for spring break. We were banking on that; him buy ticket (which I was the one searching for the cheapest deal) and I would bring spending money. Well, I haven't banked on this for a few weeks now bc he hasn't given me any set dates to look for, avoided it whenever I brought the trip up, and has been busy with work duties. I was a lil stressed out about it in the first place bc if I got to go it would've been best for me to leave on a Thursday so he could take a 4 day.... which meant I'd have to miss some class. Also my brother and mom were being weird and making me feel bad bc i haven't flown to see him in DC yet.... i just got a job like 2 months ago. I've had no money and have been so busy with school. Plus, don't mean this selfish, but he gets to see his fiance every day and has opportunities to fly home if he were more cautious with his money... but I'm a selfish sister if I choose to go see my fiancé that I only see twice a year when I FINALLY get a job that I've only been working barley 2 months at and pays minimum wage? Okay cool. Anyways, now I have a major part of my research paper due the Friday after I was looking to leave, my mom is making me feel guilty so either way it would've let somebody down no matter who I visited, and now tickets are going up bc we're past the 30 day mark and he isn't being serious or helping me out bc work. So now I'm off for a whole week where I could've at least made money and had /something/ to do spring break. Great. I mean, all I'm saying is if you sense that work schedule won't allow it just tell me. I've gotten my hopes up so many times for trips and things, it wouldn't suck as bad if you wouldn't tell me /right before/ said trip or plan when I know that you've figured it wouldn't play out for a while now. I'm not mad bc i know how his work deal is, how his schedule always changes, that most of the time he doesn't have a ton of control... BUT THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING. Now I'm stuck here, losing money, and just missing you even more...