#bc secretly in the depths of my mind I think that makes sense and makes everything hurt worse but also

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Favorite moment in Tenet where Neil Knows?

I love you but you're also the worst for sending me this. like girl how do you expect me to choose. it's a tragedy but also not.

like there's a part of me that wants to say that first scene in Mumbai, because he shows up ready for a good time (not a long time) with his best friend and then you can see the moment it hits him that the Protagonist doesn't know him yet. Kaylie said at one point that Neil is actually deeply sad for part of the movie because he has to keep up such a pretense and act like he doesn't know the things he does (act like he doesn't know his best friend, I cannot emphasize this enough) and like. I know I've mentioned before how time travel narratives inherently have some level of acting involved. some people are better actors than others, and Neil has the potential to be very good at it but he just Isn't at this point. pragmatist with a bleeding heart.

however I am also on some level always thinking of the "if we're still standing, and you still care, then I can tell you my life story" line. every single time the Protagonist mistrusts him you can SEE it break Neil's heart a little bit more (in particular the scene where he asks about the dead drop and the Protag won't tell him looks like he's just been stabbed. it's like he has to constantly remind himself that the Protagonist doesn't know him yet because he keeps forgetting and then something like that happens and he can't NOT remember) but that scene in particular... it's followed up at the very end of the movie by the Protagonist making a point, just before Neil goes off to die, to ask again. you never did tell me who recruited you. because for the time being they're both still standing and the Protagonist most definitely still cares. and it's so intensely bittersweet.

listen. I don't know if Neil knew before the last scene that he was going to die. if he did, I have no idea when he would have figured it out. but he Knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Protagonist is NOT going to die. so he says screw it and pulls his teammates (one of whom was/is/will-be his best friend) out of the hole that's also his own grave (hello Anne Boyer) and then goes right back into that grave to jump in front of a bullet because he Knows. he Knows his friend doesn't die here. what's happened happened. so he Knows what he's going to do, because he was always going to do it.

is any of this an answer to your question? honestly I don't even know but thanks for making me wax poetic about this film again

[dulcewrites]

This is kind of random but not really since it somewhat involves fmo and hotd. But I forgot who said it but they were saying that Targaryens are usually the cause of their downfall. And when it comes to how poorly Alicent was treated and how reader is being treated it reminded me of Elia Martell. Elia almost died giving birth to her kids with Rhaegar and in the end he ditched her for a 14 year old. And I always see shit saying “omg Rhaegar and Lyanna ugh their love is so beautiful” etc etc like no, a grown man looked at a 14 year old girl and said “yes this the one for the prophecy” or even “this the one I love” (whichever way those view it I’ve seen conflicting sides). And then it reminds me of how people say Alicent is a villain as if she wasn’t forced to marry at a young age too and deal with a shitload of trauma from Viserys and Otto. Idk if I’m making sense or ranting at this point 😭 but I feel like people pick and choose during these situations. Alicent didn’t want to marry Viserys and because of that she has all this trauma so now she’s painted as a villain when she’s really the victim. With Elia and Lyanna I feel like they’re both victims but I’ve seen people glorify Lyanna and Rhaegar because they secretly married each other for love. Like idk something not right about it.

I LOVE this ask bc Elia was one of my inspos for gone but not forgotten. She can be a parallel to fmo reader too, because she truly did nothing but mind her business, have her kids and still ended being treated horribly… and in the name of a prophetic child. Like thinking about the tourney at harrenhal makes me so upset

People who glorify Lyanna and rhaegar’s relationship or even go as far to say Elia was ok with it are just not right. There is truly nothing romantic about leaving his family for a teen. And nothing romantic about the wife and children who did nothing to deserve it dying brutally for his selfish actions

A lot those women (Alicent, Elia) won’t be seen as victims bc they aren’t the “right” kind for bullshit reasons. Alicent isn’t perfectly sweet after being taken advantage for years, so she can’t be a victim. Elia is dornish and stands in the way of “true love” so she can’t be a victim. Both of their characters just go to show that you can have a character go through the literal depths of hell in their life, and still be seen as villain to some people. Wild

[baeshijima]

in fucking tears rn.

[spoilers for artems second anniv story UTC !!]

[also, heres the link to the tl !! once again ty jin for ur services that make me sob every time ;w;]

I JUST READ THE SECOND ANNIV CARD FOR ARTEM AGAIN AND IM SOBBING ITS SO EMOTIONALLY TOUCHING AND HHFSDGFJLSKDFGADKJFSLKFJ 

THE FACT HE SAID HE STARTED BECOMING OBSESSED BC OF THE LACK OF REASSURANCE THAT MC HAS OTHER OPTIONS WHILE HE WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY CHOOSE HER EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL AND THE FACT HE ENGRAVED THE GERMAN WORD FOR YEARNING - SENHSUCHT - ON THE ENGAGEMENT RING IS JUST SO???? SO !!!!! SO <3333333

ALSO LOOK HOW FUCKING STUNNING CELESTINE IS LIKE BRO IM SO HAPPY FOR HER AND JEREMY WTF IM CRYING EVEN MORE AGAINDHFDS 😭😭

AND PLS I LOVE THEIR INTERACTIONS SM

AND HERE !!

I SOBBED SO LOUD WHEN THIS CG POPPED UP LIKE HYV MY G WHAT DO U THINK UR DOING WITH THIS HE LOOKS SO GOODOJFDBHS 😭

AND THEN THEY PULL THIS

SIR I WOULD SAY YES IN A HEARTBEAT I HATE U

AND THIS PART IS WHAT I MEANT WITH THE OBSESSION

Artem: “Y/N, I am deeply certain that I will not love anyone else other than you. But in the depths of my heart, I would still subconsciously think, that you will always have a choice, and yet forever, I… will only choose you.”

Artem: “As this thought progress along time, it caused my... sense of reassurance to gradually decrease, and led into an obsession.”

Artem: “People are always very greedy, and upon confirming each other’s feelings, I wanted to be on a more intimate terms with you… So I was obsessed with the change in identities, it’s as though the change of way of addressing each other can allow us to become even closer.”

mc, literally after tugging on his tie to pull artem closer to her in the elevator: “Artem, you said earlier that you wanted us to be on an even more “intimate terms”... Then is the intimacy you wanted is just something of this extent? By merely a switch of identities?”

artem, after regaining his fucking composure: “No… How could it possibly be just these… What I wanted, is no longer just these since long ago.”

Artem: “I’ve said this in the past, that you’re someone I could encounter but could never ask for, and I will always be waiting for you just one step away [Artem mutters as he sticks close to me, that his scorching breaths pours onto me, causing a turmoil in my heart.] But I regret it now, I realized that rather than waiting passively, I wanted to proactively make you mine.”

Artem: “Y/N, I yearn for everything of yours.”

MC:”……”

 MC: “There's no need to stay somewhere a step away anymore… If there’s something that you want, just ask from me all you want.”

THE WAY SHES ENABLING HIM SMDBFDKJSDFL

Artem: “Can I push my greed a little further?”

sHUT UP. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

u little shit.

artem, right after biting her fucking neck: “Promise me, to only gaze at me from now on… Don’t let unimportant people be in your mind, I’ll be sad. Don’t leave me forever, and remain by my side.”

INCHORRENT SCREECHING I HATE HIM SO MUCH

also this is him talking abt the ring and why he designed it the way he did and !!!

Artem: “I've purposely designed the shape of this moon, it forms into a meaning where the sun and moon are in each other's company. It means... we are just like the sun and moon that rotates on our own, but we are also uncontrollably attracted towards each other.”

literally shut up u cant just switch like that after the evolved card cg and say cute shit like that. why are u so cute gdi i hate u sm /affectionate, unfortunately ;w;

ALSO THIS

Artem: “The size of the ring is something I've secretly measured while you were asleep. There were quite a few times I was worried that you would wake up halfway, it's even more thrilling than my first time in court.”

THIS WAS SO FUNNY TO ME I KEEP CRYING OVER THIS HES SODBFJDH ??!??!”£?£$”?£%

overall, 8-turned-ninety-degrees-so-its-infinity/10. i would pay for this card but unfortunately have to wait a year. revisiting youth temmie, ancient china temmie, android temmi and second anni temmie i will have u at any and all costs that dont require money bc i am broke hahahdghs <333

[444tsumu]

HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

                          𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

                      𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

                            𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao

[thefandomcassandra]

i want to hear more about your norma thoughts. also, some norma thoughts for your consideration: maybe im reading into it but i got the impression that shes secretly desperate for validation. i think that before she joined the psychonauts she never really felt like she had anywhere to belong, and that's a big part of why she's so adamant about finding the mole bc she wants to prove herself and she doesn't want to lose her 'place' in the world, if that makes sense. (sorry if this is weird)

Okay boy, you’ve activated my trap card!!!

(Don’t worry, it’s not weird, I asked for engagement. I love engagement. Talk to me about things like this. It’s so good. Thank you. /gen)

(apologies if this isn’t as in-depth as you or I would like, I was in the middle of writing this when my goddamn computer crashed and I lost everything so this is my second time typing this up and some details might have been eaten by the void, also it is late for me and this may meander and be incoherent in places)

Oh she is absolutely desperate for validation. Like I said in my original post: I was almost like Norma. The only thing that kept me from being her was severe social anxiety. I couldn’t snitch because I was too scared of talking to people--especially adults and other people in power.

Norma strikes me as the type of person who is horribly insecure and that drives her desire for validation to the point of self-destruction. I made mention that, while Raz is trusting to the point of handing people knives to stick in his back later, Norma burns bridges when she crosses them so people can’t do that to her. She wants people to like her, but only people in power. She wants people to trust her, but only on her terms. She wants to be in a position where no one can hurt her, but she’s willing to hurt others to get there.

Even her sister.

There’s a really really good pair of fics on AO3 that got me thinking about Norma like this (Fire on Ice by PresidentStalkeyes and The Cold Shoulder by PresidentStalkeyes) and I’m not gonna lie about it. The idea that hydrokinetic (and by extension, cryokinetic because most people won’t know they’re different psychic disciplines) psychics are reviled because of Maligula is actually probably something that happened. So for the twin (coz they have to be twins) sister of an openly cryokinetic psychic, she would be, by association, as bad as if not worse than Maligula, an actual terrorist and mass-murderer.

No Psychic Protection Act will prevent mobs from forming if they feel threatened.

So Norma, judging by how she dresses--like a prep-school know-it-all--versus how Lizzie dresses--like a stereotypical psychic or a witch--probably wants to pretend in “polite” (read: non-psychic) company that she’s like them. Normal Norma and her creepy psychic sister. But Lizzie is used to being thrown under the bus so she just rolled with it. Leaned into it even.

But yeah, being so desperate for someone to need her, for anyone to say “you did a good job, we couldn’t have done this without you” is probably why Norma does what she does regarding the whole mole situation.

Imagine you want to be noticed. To stand out from your peers. And for the first time ever, you being a psychic is actually helpful instead of a problem. So you have to be the best psychic. And not just the best psychic, the best psychic spy.

You’re good at getting people to talk. You’re persistent and charismatic and you know just the right words to get people to say things they don’t mean to say--even without probing their mind with telepathy or picking up on ambient emotions with empathy--and reveal things they don’t want to reveal because you know that people, like you, are desperate for someone to listen. Then you hear there is a mole at your workplace right after some baby-faced teen gets admitted to a program you had to work your ass off to get into. He has to be the mole. He can’t be better than you--not without cheating and not without reason.

Because if he’s better than you, then you’re not worth noticing.

Because if he’s better than you, then you’re not special.

Because if he’s better than you, then why are you even here?

Anyway I think that Raz’s earnest nature genuinely is the foil for Norma’s cynicism but they share a lot of the same desire to be useful and needed and noticed. And, credit where credit is due, but @sparrowdoodles commented this in the tags of their reblog of the original post and this is a fair point I didn’t consider:

#this is interesting to think about when also examining their psychic abilities #Norma specializes in pyrokinesis #where as raz has hydrokinesis #fire and water being two element seen as related to eachother #while also being opposites! #just a fun thing I noticed

That dichotomy also is a neat little thing to think about. Norma holds on to grudges. Simmers. She keeps the embers of things close to her chest and stokes them to fuel whatever she’s pursuing at the time. Raz, on the other hand, lets things roll off him. Like water, he lets things sink through him and rides the wave past its crest.

To borrow a turn of phrase: like water off a duck’s back.

Anyway I’m certain I had more to say about this but my brain has turned to soup and brevity is the soul of wit and by god and heaven above I cannot be brief to save my goddamn life apparently lmao.

Thanks for asking. /gen

My inbox is always open for people to come ask me about characters and headcanons. I have so much to say about things all the time--like psychic specialties and what kind of treatises must have been written about psychic powers and holy fuck please ask me about Otto I love that morally grey science grandpa--and am always willing to expand upon the original thoughts. But, alas, I don’t show up in tags for some un-fucking-known reason (my running theory is I’ve been shadowbanned for years but who knows) so any engagement and numbers I do are because someone else reblogs my posts and then bam! Others do the same.

Like the Norma post.

So yeah, continue asking me about things I fucking love to talk (as seen above) and have so much to say (i.d.) and please reblog.

[charmustdie]

haikyuu boys’ music tastes bc i got very bored

KARASUNO

hinata - definitely a rex orange county stan, like mellow indie songs and a bit of pop as well 

favourite song: sunflower - rex orange county

kageyama - INDIE ROCK, he comes across as a bit of a music snob bc he doesnt like pop but he secretly vibes to the black eyed peas when he’s home alone

favourite song: i bet that you look good on the dancefloor - arctic monkeys

tsukishima - a lot of pop punk and generic rock, he never rlly had an emo phase but appreciates the genius of patrick stump and matt bellamy with the enthusiasm of a former emo

favourite song: saturday - fall out boy

yamaguchi - THE EMO PHASE IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE, he was definitely a my chem stan in middle school, but now he also listens to the same kind of music as hinata, so his taste is broad

favourite song: early sunsets over monroeville - my chemical romance

tanaka - he has the most obnoxious music taste ever but it all lowkey slaps, like u could trust him with the aux as long as u dont mind pitbull and hollywood undead at full volume

favourite song: DONTTRUSTME - 3OH!3

nishinoya - pretty much the same taste as tanaka, they share playlists all the time

favourite song: international love - pitbull (THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE)

asahi - hear me out, he LOVES old music, like 70s disco and dad rock. if you play abba he WILL sing along badly

favourite song: how deep is your love - bee gees

sugawara - definitely has very generic music taste, like just regular 2000s pop (despite having an emo phase in the past) but he definitely stans beyonce and lady gaga a little too much

favourite song: boom boom pow - black eyed peas

daichi - also v generic music taste but i KNOW this man listens to country music when he goes on long drives

favourite song: classic - mkto

AOBA JOHSAI

oikawa - he’ll listen to anything but britney spears is his queen n i love that for him

favourite song: if u seek amy - britney spears

iwaizumi - very much just generic workout music, like it’s very predictable but all goes so hard for no reason

favourite song: come with me now - kongos

kyoutani - he’s still in his emo phase n its BAD, like hes at THAT point in his emo phase (u know the one)

favourite song: you only live once - suicide silence

kindaichi - im sorry but his music taste is probably SO BLAND

favourite song: thinking out loud - ed sheeran (HAHAJIJFJDKGHRIF IM SORRY KINDAICHI)

kunimi - either like hyperpop/nightcore or like,,, HEAVY rock. no inbetween

favourite song: ghost rule - DECO*27

NEKOMA

kuroo - a healthy mix between fuckboy music and alt rock

favourite song: everywhere i go - hollywood undead

kenma - honestly he probably listens to video game soundtracks, like when he goes jogging with the team he’s playing rooftop run act 1 through his skullcandy earbuds

favourite song: my ordinary life - the living tombstone

lev - literally everything, like he has zero preference at all, it’s anarchy in that man’s spotify

favourite song: september - earth, wind and fire

yaku - a bit of everything but he has an inexplicable fondness for midwest emo despite never having had an emo phase

favourite song: blue eyes like the devil’s water - mccafferty

inuoka - probably pretty similar to tanaka and noya but more wholesome if that makes sense??

favourite song: growl - exo

FUKURODANI

bokuto - either genuinely amazing songs or the stupidest stuff he could find in the depths of the internet (once akaashi caught him unironically listening to the “cat, im a kitty cat” song from like 2008)

favourite song: juice - lizzo

akaashi - very mellow, almost bittersweet songs. like konoha has looked through his spotify and was quite concerned

favourite song: talking to the moon - bruno mars

konoha - probably pretty similar to kuroo’s music taste tbh

favourite song: gives you hell - all-american rejects

SHIRATORIZAWA

ushijima - honestly he probably doesnt listen to much music unless tendou makes him but he has a couple of rlly old songs that he likes

favourite song: what a wonderful world - louis armstrong

tendou - one look at this man’s spotify n you KNOW he’s unhinged, like his playlists are the embodiment of mental illness

favourite song: lights out - mindless self indulgence

goshiki - aw he thinks he’s so cool, he has the playlists of a 13 yr old who just developed an individuality complex and honestly i love that for him

favourite song: bang bang - green day

shirabu - this mf listens to nothing but rage music and honestly i don’t blame him

favourite song: true friends - bring me the horizon

semi - god his spotify is BUSSIN, like his playlists are always IMMACULATE with the perfect mix of everything

favourite song: be nice to me - the front bottoms

INARIZAKI

atsumu - fuckboy music. that’s it. like he’s so annoying when he has the aux but he has a couple of bangers that are absolutely worth it

favourite song: 24K magic - bruno mars

osamu - very similar to kags tbh, a lot of indie rock and he resents atsumu’s music taste lmao

favourite song: iris - goo goo dolls

suna - a good middleground between tendou and osamu’s tastes, like he’s unhinged but make it lowkey

favourite song: bloody mary - lady gaga

aran - i just know this man has some fantastic playlists, like he definitely has the best music taste of everyone on the team

favourite song: supermassive black hole - muse

kita - mellow asf but like it almost makes u worry, like how is he so calm, surely he’s gotta snap at some point

favourite song: corduroy dreams - rex orange county

I CBA TO GO BY SCHOOLS ANYMORE

terushima - all types of rock but he listens to classic punk n its just PURRRRRR

favourite song: too drunk to fuck - dead kennedys

koganegawa - i have no idea what’s going on in his spotify but whatever it is, it’s a vibe

favourite song: discord - the living tombstone

[todourouki]

congrats on 1k+!! can i request for sfw #14 (domestic life w/ them 🥺) with aizawa, todoroki, bakugou, and shinsou? thank you sm!! i love your works :>

AHHH! thank you so much for this, it means a lot! and ugh this is so cuteeee!

Want to celebrate prompt night with me? Click Here.

SFW PROMPT #14: What would living with them be like?

including aizawa, todoroki, bakugou, & shinsou

living with aizawa would be so nice

he’s not a high-maintenance guy

he’s more of a “as long as nothing looks like a piece of shit, we’re good”

matching sleeping bags

the man adores his sleep, i’m sure we all see that

so there’s soft blankets spread over every single couch/lounge-chair incase the two of you decide to nap

every day off, you guys have a tradition on waking up the latest time you possibly could, cooking breakfast together and eating it in bed with a show the two of you are currently binge watching on the tv

aizawa isn’t a bathroom hogger honestly he probably doesn’t even look in the mirror as much as he should

he’s pretty tidy when it comes to leaving his shit where it’s supposed to be

mostly because if he loses it, he knows he’ll be too lazy to look for it and he probably doesn’t have time

the furniture is all monochromatic

i don’t see him as a guy having brightly covered couches in his living room

everything is neutral, black, or white

minimalistic king

due to pure exhaustion all the time, color is out of the question, it reminds him of his students and he hates it but secretly loves it so all of his plates are multicolored

honestly living with aizawa sounds amazing

“Shouta,” you groan, eyes snapped harshly shut die to the light tracing into the room from the now open shades, “close the freaking things.”

Aizawa mumbles right after you, leg kicking the shade he once accidentally lifted with his foot back to where it once was. With the harsh tugs done by his feet, the light in the room finally fleeted away and allowed the comfortable dimness takeover once again.

The Pro-Hero’s arms gripped onto you tighter, nose nuzzled into your neck and bringing your body the kind of warmth necessary within the cold room. “S’go back to sleep, kitten.”

You mustered a smile, eyes still closed and hands running through the silky black hair resting underneath your neck. Mornings with Shouta were always the same— waking up once because of his leg obnoxiously releasing the shades, and both of you falling asleep once again in each other’s embrace.

You felt Aizawa begin to rub your back, fingers twinkling against your bare back soothing you beyond explanation. Within minutes, you felt yourself losing conscience, and you finally drifted back to sleep with the man you loved cradling you with unconscious admiration.

living with todoroki is exactly what you’d think it would be

i don’t mean to say it

but ima say it

this rich bitch has a ton of antique and expensive furniture lying around

mostly because he loves using his dad’s money

you and todoroki are a weird match

because you both love the exact same things

so all the furniture in your home

whether the living room be one color and bedroom be another

it all weirdly goes together because you’re both so good and coordinating shit

like your couch could be fucking orange

and the blue throw-pillows and decorations you cover your living room with just make sense

just like the two of you

living with todoroki means you figure out just how funny he actually is

also just how dense the boy could be

like he’s so sweet but also a little ✨dumb✨

he doesn’t know how to use the laundry machine and he never will don’t change my mind about this

todoroki loved cold soba we all know that

so there is a specific cabinet underneath the sink filled with all the ingredients for making it

that cabinet has to be restocked a lot

usually on days off, shouto would like to sleep in but he knows he just can’t

so if you like to sleep in, he already went out for a run, took a shower, and made you breakfast by the time you wake up

if you like to wake up early/with him, you find yourself either joining his workout or making him a hearty breakfast by the time he gets back

living with todoroki is really sweet bye i’m gonna go cry

“I just don’t understand why I’d have to press so many obnoxious buttons to get it to wash clothes,” he began, his stoic voice staring harshly at the machine infront of him as you stared at him in disbelief, “it isn’t my fault.”

“Shou, you froze the entire machine..” You repeated, a deadpanned expression on your face as you tried your hardest not to laugh.

You knew your boyfriend wasn’t the best at figuring things like this out, he hated to admit it but his family had done a lot for him back home. And sure, he wasn’t a little boy anymore and should probably know how to work a laundry machine, but he was convinced it acted up with him and him only.

“It was giving me a hard time, I didn’t even realize I froze it until I realized the clothes weren’t spinning anymore..” The frown on his face was one you couldn’t help but smile at, the grin taking over your face as you chortled a laugh.

With your empty hand, you gave the boy a kiss on the forehead, his calculating expression trying to decipher the reason certain clothes needed a certain temperature of water. Moments like this made you realize just why you loved Todoroki so much.

bakugou

is a handful

that’s clear to everyone

but living with him, oddly enough, is not

you both have a specific cleaning day

every single sunday morning

and that same night included the two of you watching a movie and having loud in-depth character analysis debate every single time

you both have special cooking days (he has more but it’s ok bc he won’t say it but he absolutely loves cooking for you)

bakugou has been through a lot, my baby

so consistency is something he depends on

he nearly breathes for it

routine is everything in your household, being something you grew accustomed to as well even if it’s not what you’re used to

every day you’d wait for him to get back home on the plush couch in the living room

so that way you’re the first thing he sees when he gets home, as well as a platter of his favorite food for the night and his fav tv show on the tv

he feels like he’s walking into heaven every single day

and depending on your schedules, you get the same thing when you get home if he beats you to it

a show/anime you’re trying to finish, the food you’ve begged him to make, and your loving boyfriend/husband lounged against the couch waiting for your arrival

you both wake up early— sorry, even if you don’t want to

bakugou doesn’t give a single fuck, he will wake you up and force you to either workout with him or start your day with him

on his days off though, you both sleep in until the afternoon

there’s literally no inbetween with your schedules

you’re both either up and ready to go by 8am or finally getting up to brush your teeth at 3pm

“How many times do I have to tell you— the real villain was not Sharpay, but Gabriella!” Your voice boomed, staring at your boyfriend who looked at you as if you had four heads.

“Babe, with all due respect, you’re a fucking idiot!” He retaliated just as aggressive and firm as you. “How can you say that when she’s such a bitch?!”

The credits of the movie you just watched played in the background, popcorn kernels pushing into the skin you had sprawled against your boyfriend. The pink reflected across your shirtless boyfriend, his ears beginning to redden due to the volume of his voice.

“Gabriella walked into that high school and literally stole everything Sharpay worked for,” you retorted, the straw you were drinking from entering your lips as you took a quick sip of the soda, “that’s being a bitch!”

He opened his mouth, signaling you to throw one of the Swedish Fish candies into his mouth and you did. With a laugh, you continued to throw food into one another’s mouth over and over throughout the argument.

“Maybe you resonate with Sharpay so much because you’re both bitches.” He snickered, dodging a pillow that fleeted your side of the couch and into his side by your right hand.

A gasp slipped your lips, narrowing your eyes at his tall figure and shoving a candy down your throat after his words, “maybe that’s why you love me, cause you’re a bitch too.”

living with shinsou >>>> breathing

shinsou is a gamer idc

there’s a playstation in both your room and your living room for game nights

yes

you guys had a game night

every single friday you guys would sit in nothing but (shinsou’s) t-shirt, and underwear and play nothing but video games all day

you usually end up falling asleep when the sun begins to come up, always taking saturday’s off no matter what for the occasion

you both are clean

being too lazy just like aizawa to have to find it if it’s misplaced

the bedroom look the best bc shinsou gets tired of monochromatic things and you hate living in a boring setting

so the two of you’s aesthetic shines through the room

if you cook, then please know food us up to you

if you can’t cook

money is spent 90% of the time on take out

because shinsou can’t cook for shit i don’t care

sometimes people wonder how it is you both manage to go to work and have a coherent sleeping schedule

and the reason is

aside from shinsou’s clinical insomnia )-:

that the two of you are absolute dumbasses

you spend all day doing homework if one of you is in college

or doing the work that needs to be done if you have just a job

and after that?

it’s just cuddling, gaming, struggling to cook, ordering take out, and eventual sleeping when you both realize you’re both past a point of ni return

most of the time though, you both manage to sleep

it’s more surprising for shinsou though bc he could never sleep properly if he’s alone

the two of you live together in GTA

also, I canon that Shinsou loves watching The Office so you guys binge watch the fuck out of that

living with shinsou is living with a bestfriend that is a civilized adult at certain times that you can cuddle and make out with

a girl can only dream <3

The sound of the console played through the room, your focused face watching the screen in front of you intently. The feeling of the bed moving along side every tap of the controller in your boyfriend’s hands trembled your limbs, your eyes being too locked on the screen to even maintain a balance.

“Go to the left, the left!” You pointed out, your legs sprawled across your boyfriend’s chest as he rested his body horizontally underneath yours.

“I know..” His voice was enough to show you he was focused, his eyes barely blinking as he followed your command and moved the character closer towards the left.

As gun shots erupted through the room, all you could see were flashes of red across the screen and players who had been attacked in Shinsou’s frenzy dead against the floor.

Exhilaration ran through your veins as finally killed the last person, the feeling of his body tending under you making you smile in happiness. You had both been trying to beat this level for weeks and you finally did it, exciting you to no limit.

The phrase “victory” strobed against the screen, making the two of you cheer in happiness at the time being well spent. He landed a big fat kiss on your cheek, pulling you in by the string in your hoodie and pressing you against him.

“Let’s beat some more ass in this next round, huh doll?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it, pretty boy.”

[welllpthisishappening]

Okay can we talk about ACOSF???? Bc on booktok all I’m seeing is so much negativity about how people don’t like feysand or don’t like nesta but?? I read this book, loved it, thought nesta grew SO much and we got to see feysand from a different POV which gave them depth! Plus a baby!!! I can talk about it forever

We can absolutely talk about ACOSF. I have thoughts, feelings, opinions and this is going to get long. And, uh, any of those super negative critiques:

Alright, alright, alright, so initial feelings? I enjoyed it a lot. Like, way more than I thought I would honestly because going in I was like eh, Nessian, but I loved Nesta’s character development and the flirt-to-roast ratio with her and Cassian and every single time Cassian called her Nes or God help me ARCHERON, my soul reached another plane of existence. Don’t even get me started on that one time she called him General. The noise I made was not audible to human ears. 

That said, there were some parts that I was like: oh ok, that’s happening. So, because I cannot function without organization, let’s break down some of the major things that happened into a LIST WITH OPINIONS ATTACHED

Sexual Tension Fucking fuck, these two idiots. Pining after each other while both desperately wanting someone, anyone, to be like — please stay in bed and cuddle me all night?!?! Idiots. Both of them flush with power and the ability to make people legit terror before them and they’re so goddamn soft with each other. Which is kind of hysterical because they are also able to rip each other to shreds? Oh my God, some of those fight scenes, I just—my heart was in my throat. And I do not want to hear a single word of how CASSIAN IS MEAN TO NESTA? Were we reading the same book, internet? Bro is In Love. From the G E T. 

Which leads us to—

S O L S T I C E  God, rip my romantic-loving heart out of my body. Learning what was in the box from the solstice before made me screech and then the music. THE MUSIC. Can we talk about Cassian, feared general, dude who has canonically lost track of how many people he has killed, cornering an ENTIRE ORCHESTRA to recreate music for Nesta? I just—f u c k. It was a lot. A lot. And then we circle back around to how soft they were and there’ll never be another and I am going to have to pace around a bit. I loved it. I love them. I nearly screamed when it took Nesta a few more chapters to realize it was a mating bond, and then Cassian just bolted because he also couldn’t quite deal with it, and I am still not super sold on the mating bond, like, as a thing, but I kind of went into this book pretty certain this was going to happen, so...good. Also them arguing by the Sidra, oof. 

There was a lot of sex in this book. I knew there was going to be a lot of sex in this book. I must have told my husband four different times, “God, there is a lot of sex in this book.” Some of it was good. Some of it was kind of cloying in its descriptions. I genuinely lol’ed at Nesta fantasizing about being straight up railed by both Cassian and Azriel. (Why was that in there? Still don’t really know, felt a lot like very obvious fan service, but it was also kind of hysterical.)

JEALOUSY DIDN’T MAKE ME WANT TO RIP MY EYES OUT I hate jealousy plots. HATE THEM. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves in relationship writing, but I was super into it here??? Cassian cutting in on the dance and TAKING DANCING LESSONS. It was good. I enjoyed it. 

Nesta’s Power Yo. YO. This was really cool. She was terrifying and out of control, while also learning how to be in control and intimidating and I was like YES, GET IT. When Rhys flew into the House and Nesta was just wrapped in silver flames, that was super cool. Also Rhys being freaked out by her? Kind of bad ass, honestly. But. But! I wish it was explored even more. I wish we got to learn what she could really do and the extent to which she could do it, because I thought it was a fascinating possibility to parallel Nesta to Feyre and I don’t really think we got that. Like, Feyre Cursebreaker — with power given from all the High Lords, this bringer of new life and a fresh start for all the courts. Then her sister — with power stolen from the Cauldron itself and death at her fingertips. With all the comparisons of Feyre and Nesta, I really figured we’d be gunning towards that eventually ESPECIALLY with Feyre being pregnant, and the idea of life in that capacity. Also, what was the point of Lucien saying “Gods help you all” or whatever he said when he was watching Nesta train if...nothing ever really came from that? We’ll circle back around to that in a second, during what will be my ending-based soliloquy, but first let’s talk about—

Feyre Being Pregnant, Why That Kind of Felt Like Twilight and Why I Get Why Rhys Was Being an Idiot Listen, part of the reason I wanted to read this book was for what I assumed would be the Feysand crumbs we’d get. Most of me was convinced that this book would not take place in Velaris and I was mentally prepared for that. Color me pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t and we got an IC feast. But. But! Part two! I’ve mentioned how I’m never really here for...pregnancy being like this ultimate endgame, and I understand why Feysand wanted a kid and I get it, I do. Just the whole thing with she’s going to DIE felt very Bella Swan, was kind of dramatic in mela-sort of way and I TOTALLY GET WHY RHYS KEPT THE WINGS A SECRET. Was it idiotic? Yeah, of course. But I don’t think we talk about his trauma enough, really. Those fifty years under the Mountain are not just gong to disappear, and I cannot really blame him for totally losing his mind at even the idea of Feyre dying. This is not a dude who is trying to control Feyre. I’ve never felt that way about Rhys. At all. This is a dude who has already lost ALL of HIS control and is desperately trying to hang on. He’s already had his entire world shattered six ways to Sunday, this was obviously going to destroy him. Aside from, y’know, straight up killing him too. (That was dumb, guys.) And I think telling Feyre would have made it REAL for Rhys, which he obviously could not cope with. Was I surprised that Feyre’s pregnancy was such a big plot point in a book that was supposed to be super Nessian focused? Yeah, for sure. But also—I like established relationships and Feyre and Rhys could not stop making eyes at each other. Not totally here for the deadly pregnancy trope, not totally here for using family as a trauma recovery, but sort of understand it. 

Training, Valkyries and Friendship Bracelets Like I said, I thought this book was gong to take place in the Illyrian camps way more than it did, but I L O V E D the training sessions. Adored Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn’s friendship and how often they teamed up to snark Cassian and Azriel. I was painfully here for all three of them together and the sleepover in the House warmed the cockles of my cold, dead heart. Especially when the bracelets proved so important during the Blood Rite. Which—let’s talk about the Blood Rite. Didn’t expect that!! Was pleasantly surprised by that!! Nesta drawing the literal line in the dirt made me fist pump the air. (And is another parallel to Feyre and her taking inspiration from old Fae legends, but that’s neither here nor there, whatever I’m not here to harp on missed opportunity.) I thought it was really important that all three of them got to showcase their own power too, and how they worked SO WELL together and I was just really glad that there was such focus on this sisterhood outside of literal sisterhood. I thought those relationships were so well done and it was just such a joy to read about their growth and strength and I loved them. Am I here for Gwyn and Azriel? Maybe. Possibly more here for Emerie and Mor? Maybe maybe. 

The House I thought it was Amren, for a very long time. Like secretly helping Nesta still and I was really into that idea and really into Amren not being able to totally let Nesta go and I wasn’t really into Nesta bowing to Amren. 

THE ENDING Oh my God, so much happened. So quickly. With some occasionally jarring scene cuts. The Blood Rite surprised me, but I was not surprised by Cassian getting ensnared by the crown. Fully expected something like that to happen, was still making ridiculous noises when he tried to turn the dagger on himself instead of killing Nesta. LOST MY MIND WHEN NESTA UNMADE THE QUEEN. I’m still sort of...confused about the Trove, though. I know there are a fair number of hanging plot threads that are gong to lead into other stories, but I just—I don’t know, when they were talking about the High King and everything I sort of thought they were leading towards Nessian being that. I know the whole IC was very into Rhys and thematically it made sense, but also let’s consider—I don’t want that? Rhys needs to get his shit in order and his own Court to calm the fuck down and again I think the potential for LORD OF THE BASTARDS and LADY DEATH to ascend to this position of power and lead the world into this new era was there and I just, I don’t know, I liked the idea of it. Particularly when so many people have referred to Nesta as a Queen. That whole thing in the prison happened, y’know? I’m not sure (read: I’m fairly positive) that won’t happen now, especially because Nesta gave up so much of her power to save Feyre. And I know that’s a TALKING POINT™ but also...I was pretty cool with that? Once it came out that Feyre was going to die, it made sense that Nesta would be the one to save her—to twist death again, and kind of seize control of it. Granted, I’m still a little confused by the Trove and what everyone’s going to do with all that power, but Nesta saving Feyre was this perfect sort of wrap up. For me, at least. I think they balance each other out in a lot of respects, and that was really the last step of Nesta’s growth. Also, uh, back on my Feysand ‘ish and Rhys screaming and crying and trying to get to Feyre? o o o f. Also, also, RHYS BOWING TO NESTA. I CANNOT TELL YOU THE LAST TIME I CRIED AT A BOOK, BUT I CRIED AT THIS BOOK. RHYS, BABY, I ADORE YOU. 

Nesta Finding Herself I just really—liked it. I think sometimes in these sorts of stories we get people who are so focused on characters being “the bitch” and having an edge and we have a tendency to think that’s what makes them STRONG. Nah, that ain’t it, son. I don’t want to read about someone being a dick just for sake of being a dick. Nesta was NOT IN A GOOD PLACE. She was self-imploding and destroying herself and getting her POV made it blatantly clear that she thought she deserved that. That she truly believed she didn’t deserve anyone else. And as much as the romance was good and the friendships were fantastic, the key to this story was Nesta (as cheesy as it sounds) learning to love herself. To find worth in her own self. Reading about Nesta simply learning to want to live again, for no one except herself, was really, really good and I think, for the most part, well done. Which is why it makes sense that Nesta gives up some of her power. This isn’t about being A BAD BITCH, PATENT PENDING. This is about love, and joy and embracing your own faults. I get the disappointment over Nesta losing her power. I do. But I’m not sure she totally did? Maybe that’s too positive, or too naive, or something, but...whatever. 

Other things that I really enjoyed, include but are not limited to: Cassian having allergies Nesta absolutely decimating Tamlin. And Tamlin’s just like...a lion all the time now, huh? And, uh, also is Tamlin Gwyn’s dad??? Like, is that a thing? Am I crazy?  Nesta telling Elain to fuck off (Also, Elain—darling, I wish you got more character development. Elain is to SJM what Belle is to me in CS fic. Sometimes I think she just forgets about her.) Azriel calling out Cassian for getting BLOWN at the dining room table Azriel getting Nesta a Solstice gift and then THEY HUGGED Nesta wanting an over the top mating ceremony. Get it, girl.  Feyre going full on Court of Nightmares in the Hewn City Nesta making it down the steps

Other things I thought we’d get more of and just...didn’t Whatever the fuck Lucien has been up to, and more on the continent with Vassa and Juran More stuff in Illyria Reaction to the trio in the Blood Rite Amren and Nesta reconciling. I know Nesta apologized, but Amren kind of got on my nerves.  Nesta understandably criticizing the IC and their tendency to get a little sanctimonious.  THREE SISTER PEAKS. THREE BAT BOYS. THREE VALKYRIE. WHAT IS IT SARAH? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 

[the-evisceration-station]

What do you think book!addy’s feelings are towards beth? Even tho addy is the protagonist I still find her very hard to read. Which makes her interesting I guess Bc she’s very mysterious. I love and hate that a lot of the story is subtext haha

That’s a very interesting question and I’m sure everybody probably has a different answer for it, as Addy is such an ambiguous character and intentionally so, because she lies to readers as well as herself. Particularly book!Addy, who I do not believe is quite identical to TV!Addy, even if I do think the most important beats of her character remain the same. I’m going to answer this under the cut both because of potential spoilers and because this is probably going to get long.

In this essay, I will…

Well, I think much of the way Addy describes Beth is some of the way Addy genuinely sees her, rather than an entire farce. Beth being something almost goddess like, someone who knows all and always has some kind of agenda. I don’t think Addy’s actually lying to us when she describes viewing Beth in those ways, I think there is a major part of her that does see Beth as some kind of nearly divine entity.

I think she feels this way partially because Beth is something of a spooky kid, she’s violently protective of Addy to the point where “protective” crosses over into “possessive” territory. I also think Beth projects a powerful persona on purpose. Beth very carefully guards her vulnerabilities and she is, after all, Top Girl, the thing that Addy secretly wants to be. And that’s where I think Addy kind of confuses Beth with what Beth has, and what she thinks it means to have that. She thinks Beth is more powerful than she actually is, because Beth has the thing Addy wants and she believes she’d be more powerful herself, if she had it.

However, do I think Addy sometimes exaggerates about how powerful she sees Beth as?

Absolutely. Because Addy also reveals she knows Beth has vulnerabilities. She knows that laughing is Beth’s way of crying. She is fully aware of how detrimental and unhappy Beth’s home life is, another vulnerability. When she wants Beth to give her one more day before going to the cops, and asks her for it, she pleads, “for me,” because Addy knows that she, herself, is one of Beth’s weaknesses. So if Addy knows where the chinks in the armor are, chances are she doesn’t always see Beth as infallible as she acts like she does.

The fact that Addy knows she can get Beth to do what she wants with a “for me,” also implies that she’s aware that she’s the one who actually has more control in the relationship, which diminishes how godlike she constantly describes Beth as.

Look, I have seen some takes that describe the Addy/Beth relationship as “Addy has All The Power behind the scenes and Beth is just her pawn,” as well as “Beth has All The Power outright until Addy stands up for herself” and personally I don’t agree with either. I understand why people would come away with such interpretations, but I personally don’t think it’s either. I think Beth and Addy both have power in that relationship, and that there is push and pull between them. I actually feel that to insist one has all and one has none is to cheapen the complexity between them, the depths of the layers of this twisted relationship they’ve woven together like a tapestry.

However, I DO believe Addy has the lion’s share of the power. Not that Beth has none. I certainly think she has some, and she’s too aware of what Addy is like under the surface to ever be described as her pawn. But that I do feel that Addy has MOST of the power. Because Beth has more exploitable vulnerabilities in places Addy doesn’t. Because Beth will do anything for Addy, and Addy knows it, and Addy knows she can use it when she has to. Because when Beth goes too far, Addy can assert her quiet control and reel her back in line. Some of the other girls notice this much. They point it out more frequently in the show, but it’s book!Tacy who point-blank tells Addy that she’s more afraid of Addy than she is of Beth.

Hence, given that Addy has the lion’s share of the power, I think she has a tenancy to exaggerate how all-powerful she sees Beth as, because if she has to, she can control Beth’s power by proxy. Beth’s power isn’t an inevitability for her. Quite often, it’s even her asset.

What I do think almost feels like an inevitability for her, is her and Beth’s relationship. I actually think Addy has more internal conflict about this than she lets on. She is an unreliable narrator. She doesn’t tell us everything. What she does tell us, is what she wants us to know, and it’s dyed by how she wants us to see it. But I think it’s very interesting that after the fight at cheer camp, and the other girls think they’ll never be friends again, Addy’s just…of the mindset that well, of course they would. Because coming back together, being together is just what they are. Like it’s some force of nature, not a conscious choice. Like it is what it is, the same way gravity exists because it exists and when something is dropped, you can count on it to fall to the ground. Because gravity exists and things do not simply float away, it is not good, it is not bad, it is not fair nor unfair, it just fucking is. And Addy dismisses the other girls’ thoughts, because she thinks they could never understand. Well, I don’t think Addy really understands it either!

I think at this point in the book, Addy truly felt like what she and Beth had was an inevitability of a sort. I don’t think she wanted it to be. I think she genuinely wanted to move away from Beth already, but on this point, I don’t think she was lying to us. Relationships are complicated, codependent relationships specifically can feel very contradictory and confusing. And I think she failed to elaborate more on it, specifically because such feelings were confusing and contradictory, and she didn’t want to think about it any more than she had to. She didn’t want to look at it. There are many things Addy doesn’t like to look at.

Major YMMV on this one because it’s left incredibly ambiguous, but I personally do believe there was a point in time when Addy was in love with Beth. Addy is the one who kissed Beth. Addy is the one who initiated their borderline (or even, some people think it went that far, I personally don’t) sexual encounter.

“I started it, but I don’t even remember why or how,” is her input on her motivation. But when is Addy ever honest about her motives? Almost never, not even to herself.

Also, the hamsa bracelet. The story behind the little charm is that it’s the Hand of Fatima. Fatima was stirring a pot when her husband came home with a new wife, let the ladel slip from her fingers, stirred with her own hand, and didn’t even notice the pain because of how brokenhearted she was. Or, at least, that’s the version of the story presented in the book. The one I know of IRL is different, but for the purpose of discussing Dare Me book canon, I am using the symbolism of the version of the Hand of Fatima lore presented to us in the book.

Beth is Fatima in this story. Addy is the husband. The new wife is Colette. Fatima was the first wife. The husband married his first wife, chances are, he loved her at some point.

I think three things play into Addy no longer being in love with Beth.

1) Beth’s possessive behavior began to feel suffocating and drive Addy away.

2) Addy prioritizes ambition over love and accomplishing her goals wins out over any romance, at the end of the day.

3) Addy represses her sexuality and probably even holds some (unfair) resentment toward Beth for feeling attracted to Beth.

My gray faced friendo, I am going to repeat that: this is all just my take. I think in a subtext loaded book like Dare Me, people are bound to come away with over a hundred different interpretations. I am not the authority on Dare Me. That’s Megan Abbott. I’m not here to crap on anyone else’s interpretation if they feel different.

All of this is what I personally took away from the book and since you asked, that’s what I’m describing. I’ve been giving my own personal take throughout the entirety of this answer, of course, but what I’m going to describe going forward is a lot of me reading in between the lines with my magnifying glass, and may seem less coherent than the above. Okay, here we go.

Point #1: I feel like Beth’s possessive behavior began to drive Addy away, because it’s a lot to deal with. Beth gets dog leashes for all the girls on the squad at one point, but goes as far as to have Addy’s name embroidered on hers. Addy goes to another girl’s birthday party and when she gets home, low and behold, Beth is waiting at her house. RiRi outright refers to Addy as “Beth’s girl,” as if Addy belongs to Beth.

I think Addy even begins to feel like she does belong to Beth, in some ways, and becomes comfortable feeling that way. But eventually, she doesn’t want to feel that way anymore. Their relationship is extremely codependent, okay. I think in both the book and the show, it’s more obvious from Beth’s side, because we’ve reached the point in that relationship where Addy is beginning to pull away. Beth reflexively seems to cling on even tighter, because she feels it happening. But it’s absolutely codependent from Addy’s side too.

Throughout the book, there are many moments (I’m not going to comb for all of them, sorry dude, it’s almost 300 pages) where Addy behaves like she and Beth are an entity unto their own. Even as she’s moving away from her as she develops her bond with Colette, there are instances where Addy will describe sensing things inside Beth. There is even a moment where Addy thinks Beth is touching her ear (the ear Addy scarred, mind you) only to discover, no, she’s touching her own ear!

Plus, Addy feels like she needs others to verbalize her thoughts/feelings for her and for a long time, this person is Beth. Implying that not only does Addy rely on Beth to do such a thing for her, but she believes that Beth can know her thoughts accurately enough to do so.

Point #2: I think ambition outranks love for Addy, because her goals are her endgame. Addy is patient, Addy is deceptive. Addy likes the way power feels and I think it’s one of the reasons she gets so high on her relationship with Colette (even if it is an inappropriate and eventually damaging one). Colette makes Addy feel powerful, probably more powerful than she actually is. I’m going to repeat myself a bit here and even copy/paste some of my thoughts about this from a reply I left to a comment on Ao3 (that poor person, I went into a full on Addy rant) because I feel like what I said previously is relevant here.

*deep breath* When we begin the book/series, I personally believe like on some level, Addy does still have feelings for Beth. However, I do NOT think those feelings are as strong as they once were, and I don’t think they are feelings Addy wants to have. I think the remaining feelings Addy does have for Beth are mostly there because they’ve been in a codependent relationship for so long, one that consumes her identity, and in a relationship like that, even if you don’t want those feelings anymore, they’re difficult to move away from. Because at some point, you don’t really know who you are not just without that person, but without those feelings, even if you want to, even if wanting to is part of the reason you want to get rid of those feelings. Codependency is a strange animal, my friend.

Although Addy’s relationship with Colette was never mutually romantic nor canonically sexual, I do believe there was a part of Addy that was ‘killing’ her remaining feelings for Beth through that relationship. “Love is a kind of killing,” is one of the oft repeated lines of the book, and I’d even say it’s one of the themes. It is Beth who says it, and we see that she feels it too, her love for Addy is killing her. She nearly kills herself out of it (though I’d say other things impacted Beth enough to put her in such a state that suicide felt worth it, even if her feelings for Addy were the primary motive, again YMMV).

The Matt/Colette/Will dynamic is another example of love becoming a kind of killing. Matt kills Will for Colette. If we believe what she tells Addy, then he acted on his own in doing so and it was an accident. If we don’t believe her, she might’ve even been the little worm in Matt’s ear who told him to do it. Either way, he killed for love. None of the audience really cares for their hetero nonsense, because Matt is sexist and both Colette and Will are predatory people, but nonetheless, their debacle largely impacts the story. And it supports the idea that “love is a kind of killing.”

I believe love as a kind of killing is something Addy weaponizes for her own development. To her own detriment as well, because it ends up taking her to dangerous places.  Even so, I think Addy had/has some lingering feelings for Beth she uses forming a bond with Colette to metaphorically ‘kill’ inside herself. Like finishing off an already mortally wounded animal, if you will. This would also support “love is a kind of killing” as a recurring theme.

Addy’s relationship with Colette gave her a crutch and a new outlet, and Colette’s encouragement (while the audience knows its manipulation) also gave Addy affirmation for the way she was already feeling about Beth— that she wanted to distance herself from her and come into her own. In addition, Colette seemed to be ‘safer’ because Addy doesn’t have to compete with Colette.

The presence of specifically female socialization is very palatable in the book. The way the girls slut-shame each other. The way other people see them, the feminine appeal of cheerleading. Others take the glitz and the glam of it at face value without understanding the more masculinely-coded things that go into it, like dedication and athleticism. Colette is a villain, no doubt, but you have to give the devil her due, and her circumstances are as miserable and empty as they are because she finds herself boxed into traditional feminine roles she isn’t suited for. Although the show is not the book, and I will maintain that I don’t feel they are identical entities, I do think Willa had a lot of interesting input on this in her Build interview, alongside Taveeta and Abbott. Check it out if you have the time—

Wait, where was I?

Right, right, female socialization in Dare Me. Okay, continuing on.

I feel that female socialization also plays an important role in the relationships between the characters, namely the Beth/Addy/Colette dynamic. We live in a culture where women are socialized to tear each other down and compete with each other even outside of the athletic arena. Combine that with the athletic, cutthroat world of cheerleading and you’ve got yourself a powder keg of an environment where those competitive feelings are going to come out full force. Addy, wanting what she wants, is inevitably going to have to view Beth as a rival, romantic feelings or otherwise aside.  

Colette feels like a ‘safer’ object of attraction because her cheerleading days are over.

Colette does not pose a threat to Addy’s thirst for power, she can only help her achieve it. I definitely think the lack of Colette posing a threat to Addy’s goals plays into how comfortable she feels with her. I also think, to a teenager with dreams of grandeur already feeling suffocated in a relationship with her peer, this is where the age gap appeals to Addy even as it disturbs us readers.

Again, Addy doesn’t have to compete with Colette, because Colette has aged out of ‘cheerleader’ and into ‘coach.’ Colette is a seemingly self-sufficient adult (initially) who doesn’t spin out the way Beth does, and depend on Addy as heavily as Beth does. Colette represents the agency Addy covets, and feels nearer to when with her.

I mean, we all know things change once a dead body is brought into that dynamic and we all know that Colette is emotionally manipulating Addy for her own purposes. But I’m not talking about Colette’s perspective, I’m talking about Addy’s before all the crime scene hullabaloo. What happens after the night with Will changes things, but up until that point, I think this is much of what Addy got out of her bond with Colette, no matter how inappropriate a bond it was. No matter how much it shouldn’t have been happening.

I will say, I don’t believe Addy ever fully realizes the extent to which Colette was manipulating her, although it’s clear as the book goes on, she realizes some of it. She picks up on things that don’t add up, acknowledges some red flags she initially ignored, and refers to her as a liar at one point.

Wait JJ, why are you talking about Addy and Colette? The question was about Addy and Beth!

Yes, but I think you cannot always separate the two. Because I think many of the developments that occur in the book between Addy and Beth, and the way in which they occur, play out as they do because of Colette’s entry into the story. Abbott said herself that Dare Me is a love triangle. A triangle is connected by all three sides, okay, continuing on…

I think there are things Addy deliberately sought out in her relationship with Colette— I will repeat this because again, I personally view this as part of the theme and part of the answer to your question— including ‘killing’ what remained of her feelings for Beth. I think it’s also very clear that she thinks Colette is the key to getting what she wants and accomplishing her own goals.

But I would go the extra mile and say she projects some of her feelings for Beth onto Colette. I’ve brought this up before, but I will elaborate more about that now.

I think Addy is earnestly attracted to Colette, just as Colette. Yes, even book!Addy. It’s more subtle in the book, but contrast the way she describes Jordy to the way she describes Colette. Her fascination with the way Colette looks when Will is fucking her. It speaks of attraction and that’s perfectly fine. It’s normal when teens have crushes on adults, what isn’t normal is when adults indulge those crushes. When adults pick up on the cues Colette does, and choose to fan the flames instead of snuffing them out. That’s the part that’s fucking scary.

But I also think she projects her feelings for Beth onto Colette and I think that helps explain why Addy latched onto Colette so quickly. When Addy messes around with Jordy, she does it because Colette points him out. And when she tells Colette about it later and Colette doesn’t even seem to remember him, Addy is taken aback, almost offended… and yet, just a couple of pages later, she’s disparaging the girls who do similar things for Beth.

“…hitching jeans low and flashing thongs at security guards. Beth likes to make these girls run.”

Colette and Beth also share some notable similarities. Both can be cold, cutthroat, have calculating thought processes. Colette even looks like Beth in the book. Addy also sort of tries to recreate a ‘better’ version of the bond she had with Beth, with Colette and this is where I stop and I’m like, man, what a weird freakin’ kid. Addy, smh. But you see it, right?

Addy flips for her coach like she flips for her captain. Ties the same bracelet Beth once tied on her wrist onto Colette’s wrist. Does the thing with Jordy very comparable to the things other girls do when they’re trying to impress Beth. Uses Colette specifically when she wants to become her own person, but can’t quite do so yet, because she’s so used to her lifelong codependence with Beth.

And you know how earlier I mentioned that Addy can control Beth when she has to? How the control Addy has over Beth is a quiet, deceptive thing?

Well I think that’s something that Addy projects onto Colette too. Addy is so used to being able to assert that quiet control and maintain the relational power (which is not the same kind of power Addy is seeking endgame) with Beth, that when she begins using Colette as Beth’s substitute, she doesn’t realize she doesn’t have it anymore. I think that’s one of the things that gets her into hot water later, because she absently assumes she’s going to be ‘safe’ with Colette the way she is with Beth, have that ability that she does with Beth to reel things back before they go too far…but she doesn’t.

Addy uses Colette as Beth substitute. But Colette is not Beth. Beth is spooky. Addy is scary. Colette is terrifying. Addy can’t take control of Colette the way she can of Beth. Colette is an adept master manipulator, an adult who has years of experience that Addy lacks. Colette is better at her game than Addy is at hers, and Addy gets in deep shit partly because she doesn’t recognize that.

I would actually compare the Colette/Addy situation a bit to the Kurtz/Beth situation in the show. There are things Beth wants out of Kurtz, she talks to him because she plans to use him, and it inevitably has devastating consequences for her. Kurtz is a predator. And he’s better at his game than Beth is at hers.

The situations are not identical. The consequences are not the same. But both are exemplary of teens being naive fools and thinking they have some control in situations they definitely do not, with people they couldn’t hope to.

Addy gets what she thinks she wants in the end. I’ve addressed why I think this isn’t as cracked up to be as she thinks it is in another post, but that’s not really relevant here. Addy chooses to pursue having her own power above all, and it’s Beth who winds up giving it to her, not Colette. But I think Addy needed to eliminate her feelings for Beth to actually get there, or even if she didn’t actually, it’s what she felt she had to do and most of those feelings were deteriorating already because of Beth’s possessive behavior.

Point #3: I personally believe Addy represses her sexuality. And I do think that plays into how she views Beth, both when she had feelings for her, and when those feelings began to die. I feel Addy harbors some subconscious resentment toward Beth along the lines of a “I don’t want to be like this, but you make me feel this way, and I hold it against you” type deal. However, again, I think that’s a subconscious feeling rather than something Addy is cognitively aware of, and actually, I don’t think it’s separate from how she’s fed up of Beth suffocating her. I believe it only feeds into that feeling and makes it stronger, enhancing her frustration.

Addy is often very cruel when she describes Beth. I think there’s a bit more to it than the inevitability of viewing Beth as a rival outside her control and somewhat within it, the possessive behavior Beth suffocates her with.

I think forgetting that she and Beth had a borderline sexual encounter was repression on her part. I also think this line;

“…and who need to talk of such wonders? We nestle them away, deep in the fury at the center of us, where things can be held tightly, protected, and secretly cherished as a special notion we once held, and then had to stow away,”

wasn’t just about Beth. I think it was about Beth and just like, pursuing girls in general. At least openly. I’d go out on a limb and say another one of the things that drew Addy to Colette was because Colette was a ‘safer’ objection of attraction in the sense that the likelihood of something happening between them was very low. Fantasize safely from the closet, kinda deal. But maybe Addy’s less aware of her sexuality, or at least confronting it than I’m giving her credit for. I mean, she looked up RiRi’s skirt and was all like, “why are other girl’s panties more interesting than your own?”

Addy. Addy, baby. Why do you think.

Oh, and I think Addy kissed RiRi without telling us! At the marines’ party, Addy and RiRi are hanging and then this scene happens.

“She’s fumbling with her phone, trying to send a text. Because it’s all okay because these are Will’s men and nothing bad could ever happen, one of them is pressing our heads together, wanting us to kiss.

“Always ready,” he says. “Always there.””

Then RiRi hugs Addy and starts in about how she couldn’t be close to Addy before, because of Beth. But that’s the thing. It just has that creepy ass adult man trying to make these teen girls kiss, then goes into some dialogue, Addy never actually explains what happens in that moment. If the guy made them kiss or if he let go of them. If either of them protested or just went along with it.

I personally believe they did kiss and I believe Addy doesn’t mention it for two reasons.

1) She’s trying to convince herself and us readers that Will is safe to be around, ergo his men must be too. But some grown ass dude physically trying to force teen girls to kiss each other is obviously a fucking creeper. Will is also a fucking creeper.

2) She enjoyed kissing RiRi and doesn’t care to elaborate on what enjoying that was like, because doing so would mean confronting her sexuality. Her sexuality being one of the many things Addy doesn’t really confront.

Wow, that was a long ass essay. In this essay, I done did. So that is my interpretation of Addy’s feelings for Beth. Feel free to take ‘em or leave ‘em, maybe we don’t feel the same way and that’s totally cool. But you asked, so I answered. That is what I feel is going on with all that mess there.

This essay probably has a shit ton of typos and for that I apologize, but I can’t comb through all this now. This long as hell and I’m hungry, I need to go eat. 

[in-silks-and-flesh-and-leather]

I was just about to say your new WIPs sound really interesting esp Stolen Car when I saw you posted the first chapter. Aaaah so I have a lot of thoughts! At first when you warned about poor little rich girl being a brat I didn’t really believe it and 1/3 of the way thru I was thinking “nah she’s not that bad, I even feel kinda bad for her” but then I got pissed at her being so callous asking about his arm. Then I went back and forth between trying to forgive her bc she mostly seems to have a misplaced sense of humor (which seems to be a cover for her feeling miserable due to being ignored or feeling lack of love/attention and lack of purpose in life) and feeling very indignant on Clyde’s behalf! All that is to say, I think you did an excellent job serving up a real genuine three dimensional character! It’s interesting to read a RC type character who is clearly NOT cookie cutter self insert lol. As for Clyde, I think he was very believable. Reading about his deep hurt and pent up rage, I’m reminded that sometimes in fandom we make Clyde so much of a “giant soft teddy bear” that it becomes very superficial, like he might as well just be a big fleece blanket for us lol. He’s a great comfort character but he also has a lot of deeper, sometimes darker and uncomfortable depths to explore. Great first chapter!!! (Do you think this will have a happy ending? If you don’t want to say, please ignore haha.)

Somewhat related, I read your shorter piece about trimming Clyde’s nails and I looooooove it. Especially that RC takes the effort and has the interest to learn stuff like reflexology and does little prep work. Awww. And I love that what was once something that Clyde felt uncomfortable about and felt was a burden, is now something he can enjoy with RC. 🥰 If that isn’t true love... (I’m also now imagining Clyde’s kiddo insisting on painting his nails and Clyde begrudgingly allowing it but secretly thinks kiddo is super cute and of course kiddo picks the most absurd colors and makes a mess.)

Can I give you a standing ovation as a reader? 🥰🥰

That you picked up on exactly what I was trying to put down - an equally troubled, stunted person, who needs to put up walls of her own by joking and provoking, clearly neglected, but overindulged... And of course, I'm not excusing that behavior at all, but I wanted a character with real flaws and a story with real conflict and I decided to write one. And whoever doesn't like it very welcome to skip it.

I'm excited to develop their story more, and especially to write a different side to Clyde that I think very much exists.

I like that he is so big and soft and gentle, but he is also a soldier who has seen combat and experienced a lot of darkness, loss, discrimination, being underestimated, overlooked and we can only imagine and guess at what his years before, during and after his service have been like.

So to realistically draw out that angrier, grittier side of him, I also neeeed an RC who would be a dick at times, but ultimately a good compassionate person who needed to learn about a world outside her own bubble.

Sidenote, I love that people's p****** drool about RC being a brat when it's time to spit in her mouth, which horrifies me, but freak out when she actually has a real flaw 😂

And I love your thoughts on the nails HCs, that's exactly what I wanted - to write about something small and mundane that can be huge to certain people and how her love and care make him feel better ❤️

And anons have been reading my mind recently - I have a little prompt about Clyde hanging out with his little girl and how she does him up real purty 🥰🥰 I love that image ❤️❤️

(There is also a friends to lovers with Rick Smolan where they dress up for a fancy dress party and she paints those luscious lips of his 🥴🥴 Sorry, are my kinks showing?)

Thank you endlessly for your amazing and kind thoughts, it really made my day to read this 💕💕

[cho-ji-eun]

Hi sweetie how are you?💞 I hope youre doing great bcs i wanted to request a smut reaction of Monsta X boys to their gf liking it rough, but like really reallyyyyyy rough ;)) (btw alligator fricking killed me :'D) 💞♥️💜 thank you have a nice day~

Apologies that this took so long. School caught up with me.

Alligator left me shook.You’re about to die even more, babygirl. 🖤

Warnings: Language, Dom!Monsta X, NSFW, mentions of alcohol.

Shownu:

You drunken flopped onto the bed. It had been a long night out. Between the alcohol and Shownu’s relentless grinding against you, you were in a daze. You closed your eyes, tugging your bottom lip inbetween your teeth. You hummed, your mind feeling with perverse thoughts.

“Babe?” Shownu mumbled beside you.

“Hmm?” You lazily opened one eye to see him staring down at you from the edge of the bed

“What are you thinking about?” He ran his fingers back and forth on the top of your thigh.

“You’re always so sweet to me.” You smiled, eyes still closed. “But I was just thinking how attractive it would be if you were rough in bed... like really rough.” You trailed off, diving back into your mind.

Shownu tightened his hand around your thigh, pads of his fingers digging deep. You looked up at him with hooded eyes and his voice intoxicated you more.

“Is that really what you want?”

Wonho:

Wonho and you often wrestled around. It usually led to sex but it was a good laugh. He secretly enjoyed watching you struggle underneath him and you adored the way he handled you. There was only one problem... He always held back, especially during sex.

You held Wonhos hands together on his toned stomach as you straddled his waist. He smirked at the way you tightened your grip. “Are you trying to hurt me Jagi?”

“Is it working?” You quirked a brow.

“No babe, give up.” He chuckled, slipping out of your grasp and letting his hands find your waist.

“Baby...” You paused. He looked up at you, sweet as could be. “Why are you always do gentle with me?”

The second those words left your lips, his eyes darkened. You could almost see the dirty thoughts spilling out of his mind. Wonho swiftly flipped you over, pushing against your core and your hips further into the bed. He wrapped his long fingers around your wrists and held them high above your head, tilting his smug face as he spoke.

“I don’t think you can handle it.”

Minhyuk:

You sat with your computer in your face, staring at the screen in awe. Alligator had just released and you couldn’t wait to watch it with your boyfriend. You gawked at all of his scenes. One in particular made you squeal.

“Oh my god. This is daddy af.” You groaned, doting on him.

“It’s what?” He chuckled next to you, secretly enjoying your reaction.

“Daddy. Af. Like you’re giving off total dom feels and i’m dying.” You held in another squeal watching him.

“Do you like that?” He furrowed his brows at you.

You froze like a deer in headlights, biting your nail. You knew he wasn’t going to let this go.

“Yes?” You answered shyly. Minhyuk smiled sweetly at your timid reaction. He pulled your finger from your lips and held your chin, forcing you to look at him. He closed the laptop, pushing it aside to focus on you.

“Don’t be shy.” He leaned into you, pushing your back to the plush bed below. “Tell me what you want.”

“Be rough with me.” Your voice barely above a whisper.

“Say that again.”

“Please daddy.” Your cheeks reddened. His teeth found your bottom lip, biting in contentment.

“Anything for you, Jagi.”

Kihyun:

“Stop being a brat.” Kihyun rolled his eyes at you.

“Says the one who just rolled his eyes like a twelve year old.” You scoffed.

“You...” He groaned “You need to be put in your place.” He shook his head. The words fell from his lips without a filter, coming from the depths of his wildest dreams. He regretted them, but wouldn’t back down first.

“Oh?” You stood, stalking over to him. “And you’re the man to do that?” You challenged him. You never admitted that you liked it rough and he never bothered to ask or try so for once, seeing this side of him set a new fire ablaze within your body.

Kihyun didn’t say a word. He let you press yourself against him, hoping to make him submit first. “Do it.” Your fingers danced up his chest. “Show me who’s in charge.” You didn’t believe he had it in him and Kihyun loved the doubt in your words. His hands found your hair, forcing you to look at him.

“On your knees. Now.”

Hyungwon:

Your words rang through his ears like his favorite song on repeat.

24 hours had passed since you confessed to him you wanted it rough. He had to admit he wasn’t sure what to think. His worst fear was hurting you but he couldn’t get it out of his mind.

He bit his lip as the bass tore through his body. His mind forgetting about the thousands of people infront of him and focusing on you. The way you looked at him with sultry eyes. The way your voice came out like velvet. The way you asked so innocently but he knew better than to believe you were an angel. How could he deny you?

He raced home, anxiousness filling his body. His pants were increasing in discomfort and it was almost unbearable.

Curse words left his mouth in strings as he fumbled with the keys and his bags. Flinging the door open, he quickly dropped his bags and kicked off his shoes. Slamming the door shut behind him, he was already racing out of his jacket. The apartment was dark and the city lights were allowing him enough light to find you.

He bolted down the hallway and into your bedroom. Like prey, you stood there cluess to the predator approaching you.

“Hey babe.” You smiled, not bothering to turn around. Hyungwon didn’t answer.

You felt warm hands snake round your hips as he came into contact with you. His body pushing you against the glass of the door. You hissed at the cold seeping through your daring silk chemise. His hands pressed the glass on both sides of your head and you were thankful he didn’t see the smirk rising on your face.

Hyungwon bit into your sensitive spot in the curve of your neck, pushing himself further against you. Long fingers danced down the glass and around your throat.

“Hyungwon?” You tried to sound as innocent as possible. His hands tightened around you and he growled in your ear.

“Don’t call me that tonight.” He turned you around to face him, hand still pressed firmly against your throat.

“Bed. Now.” He released his grip on you. Almost stumbling, you made your way to the bed, sitting on the edge. Hyungwon tore his shirt off, throwing it into the corner. The sound of his belt added more excitement as he spoke.

“You belong to me tonight.”

Jooheon:

Jooheon was the ideal boyfriend. He loved you unconditionally, communicated to perfection and did everything in his power to improve the bond between you two. Tonight, his idea consisted of having deep conversations. No phones, no tvs, just you two and the city noise flowing in from the half opened balcony door.

The conversation had made a turn and suddenly you two were discussing turn ons.

“I do have one... You don’t know about.” You looked away from his starry eyes.

“Tell me.” He cooed. You shook your head, embarrassed.

“Please?” You looked at him and fell into his trick. He could talk you into anything jusf about and you hated it.

“I enjoy...” You fiddled with your fingers, looking down at them. “I really like it rough.. really really rough.”

Silence filled the room before his voice filled your senses.

“Oh babygirl.” He chuckled sweetly. “You don’t know what you just did.”

Changkyun:

“Am I not good enough?” Changkyun stood across the room, crossing his arms.

“I never said that.” You sighed.

“Then why are we always fighting?” He leaned against the dresser.

“Idk why are we?” You crossed your arms too.

Changkyun groaned, leaning his head back. Another argument and you two didn’t even know what it was for.

“Maybe you need to put me in my place.” You mumbled.

“Excuse me?” He quirked a brow, looking over at you. “What did you say?”

You rested your chin on your hand, crossing your legs and smiling sweetly. “Be rough with me. Very rough, show me you’re in charge.”

Changkyun walked over to you slowly, grabbing a fist full of your hair and pulling down. Your eyes met his and you knew you had done it.

“You’re going to regret saying that babygirl.”

[lunarheld]

      oh, those haters. back at it again w/ their white washing in bad bullshit. it’s just a rp blog, let me be creative. it’s not hurting anyone if i have like. scarlett johansson as ino. they’re both blonde! if the characters in anime weren’t supposed to be white, why were they drawn with caucasian features??? and characters from kumo CLEARLY aren’t japanese!  it’s so unfair, just block me if my white fc makes you so uncomfortable && i’ll post about how victimized i feel for like 15 hours until i feel secure again with my amazing choice for fcs. 

now let me break this down: 

1) it’s just a rp blog, let me be creative. there’s nothing creative about using a white guy to play an asian character. you don’t even have to hc your character to be japanese! the inuzuka family, for example, could just as easily be mixed or even inuit. there’s something i could get behind! lots of fur, mostly carnivores diet, superior tracking, relying on dog companions to get shit done... it would make a lot of sense. so going by that, eric schweig would make a really good fc. but there aren’t a lot of materials i can use to make icons!!! bitch i wonder why....is it bc he’s not white... sometimes doing the right thing means doing a little extra work. a hard concept, i know, but plz stay w/ me on this... what seems more creative to you ? going in depth with your character to trace characteristics and behavioral patterns to an ethnicity that suits them best, or throwing a white guy up on the dash bc he’s got the right features? lmao. come on. 

2) it’s not hurting anyone if i have like. scarlett johansson as ino. ding dong, you’re wrong. the problems isn’t your blog because let’s all be honest, all our blogs really amount to is how many people you can scream about your fav character to. they don’t mean a lot outside of tumblr, but think of what it actually stands for. the problem with whitewashing is that it’s so main stream and apparent, that you adding to the mix isn’t helping anyone. it’s making it more normalized. say i was japanese american, and i really related to hinata because of how her life mirrors my own ( anxiety, self confidence issues, hard working, ect ). now say that i see on my dash someone rping hinata with icons of zooey deschanel as their fc bc her hairstyle is similar and dark in a lot of photos so you could technically make it work. but like... why the fuck would you do that? when there are dozens of japanese actresses you could be using that would do more justice to the character anyway? 

3) if the characters in anime weren’t supposed to be white, why were they drawn with caucasian features??? because their haircolor and eye color has absolutely nothing to fucking do with their ethnicity. please read this explanation about how and why some colours are picked. hint: it has nothing to do about how tsunade is secretly a white girl. it has to do with their PERSONALITY, and how some colours portray character traits in japanese style. by your logic, these characters are also a bunch of white people pretending to be japanese. 

see how dumb this argument is now? it’s a pretty dumb argument for being lazy. now check this shit out...tell me which one fits the characters better i’m just curious ( please note that it took like. 3 minutes to make all these of these horrible things, including fc search, so we’re averaging a minute per pic lmao )

ORRRRRRRRRRRR

4) characters from kumo CLEARLY aren’t japanese! i mean, they don’t all have to be japanese?? there are other races in naruto, at least that’s my belief. my kankuro is egyptian, but he’s still not a white guy.  also, this may shock you to know... please sit down if you’re not already, but there ARE mixed black / asian people ( a short list i found in .3 seconds on google ) out there in this world. they do exist... you don’t have to act like they don’t exist.. they’re there...

5) it’s so unfair, just block me if my fc makes you so uncomfortable && i’ll post about how victimized i feel for like 15 hours until i feel secure again with my amazing choice for fcs. okay? cool. i will. that was the plan. the plan wasn’t even to make this post, but here we are, still going on about how people who are uncomfortable with your horrible choice of a fc are “haters” and are picking on you. you don’t have to get so worked up. it’s not that deep. i’m sure there are other rpers that wouldn’t mind rping w/ ashley tisdale or some shit as sakura, but you’ve come to the wrong block. it’s my right to unfollow people that make me uncomfortable, and going on about how unfair it is makes you look like a child. also? picking a white fc for a poc?? white washing. just call it like it is, don’t act like it’s acceptable to do.

ya’ll should know that i grew up around racism. not as a victim of it, bc for all intensive purposes, i’m fucking wonder bread. however, both my parents were racist as all hell. i was driving with my mother one time and a child who was a poc was running down the street with his friends, and my mother verbatim said “look at that n***r run! i wonder where the cop that’s chasing him is. i’m not racist, i have black friends”. it took me a long time to accept and understand my privilege. so when i see whitewashing and backhanded racism, i speak on it, because i’m tired of it being treated like “ it’s not a big deal “. it is a big deal. poc have almost no representation, and to contribute to that is fucked up. that’s my opinion. so put on your big boy pants, and if someone unfollows you for choosing a white person for a naruto character, get over it. you picked your fc, and if people don’t like it, you have to deal with that. it’s not their fault, and they’re not attacking you.