#bc people expect me to speak and are not very accepting of the fact that today's best may not be the same as tomorrow's and sometimes

[sevenstevearmy]

... Guess who learned about cluttering and disorganized speech today... Guess who was struggling with those symptoms this whole time... Guess who has comorbid disorders... Guess who's not happy about learning new things about themself...

[ahamkara-apologist]

Bits about the opening mission of Revenant that I absolutely love:

-Crow opening it talking about how he wants this to be a diplomatic mission where he proves that hunters can build bridges, not just burn them, and then the mission fucking ends with the bridge of the Helm getting blown open and the whole damn thing crash-landing into the Tower

-Failsafe taking one metaphorical look at this whole crashing thing and calmly taking over bc this is not her first rodeo. Rip Failsafe's new chassis it was fun while it lasted

-Getting to actually walk amongst House Salvation and fight alongside them!! I've wanted a begrudging alliance with them since I first started playing during Beyond Light and I'm happy that we're getting it. Strained political ties my beloved

-More Eliksni words!! I love the way the language sounds, so I hope we can get more of it. The conlang folk deserve to eat good this episode

-Everything about showing up to fight alongside of Eramis, and her sorta just begrudgingly accepting it. Like you can practically feel her desire to be a proud bitch struggling with her desire and her responsibility to keep her people safe, and her pride is failing. I love her so fucking much

-Eramis not giving in bc of her pride and her disdain for humanity until Crow mentions that Eido would be sad if she didn't come with. She is SO soft on this kid, I just know that she used to be the type of parent who'd bitch about her children whining that they want something only to turn right around and give it to them later. Granted, with Eido its not hard to not want to dissapoint her, but the fact that she's such a deeply caring person at heart under her wall of thorns is just. It gets to me, man

-I also love Crow acting as a diplomat, bc again, he's doing what I've been itching to do since I figured out what Salvation's whole deal was. Put those uwu softboy powers to good use prettyboy

-Eramis implying that she trusts us (the guardian) to ensure that Crow sticks to his word had me like '!!!' bc it genuinely wasn't something that I expected, especially after Ana's stunt on the Seraph Station. I think the fact that she's fought us so many times and has seen us fighting to keep House Light safe has convinced her that the Young Wolf is a pretty straightforward fellow who follows the honour-rules of her people, while she hasn't had the proof that other humans are the same. I think that's something that she respects about us, at least, even if she still very much does not like us. I mean, she also could have been speaking sarcastically but given how she talks to us later on I don't think that's the case

-(Granted, I also think that Eramis is aware of her crimes and feels like she needs to be punished for them in some capacity, and we're an outlet for that, but humanity also isn't exactly her first choice. Shes a deeply proud individual on account of her suffering so many indignities over her long lifespan, so if she's gonna choose to work with us, she has to be clear about how unhappy she is with all of it)

-(also who's responsible for repeatedly scaling her up in bossfights and then shrinking her right afterwards. Bungie???)

-Crow fucking pointing his dinky little Hawkmoon at Eramis's head. I know that it has paracausal shots and that Crow is a guardian, but it's comically small next to her and got a good laugh out of me

-When Fikrul smashes into the helm and we're being blown about like pieces of debris (I'm ignoring the fact that Crow can apparently speak in the vaccum of space bc idk what the fuck is happening there), the fact that Eramis just nonchalantly braces for impact with all her arms cuffed up implies that she's done this many different times before, and I love that little bit of detail. Fuck yeah more alien space pirate action, I always am down for that sorta shit

[zoeykallus]

heya! I'm not sure if your requests are closed, and by no means do I hope to overwhelm you further with more requests :'D feel free to ignore this especially bc it's more of a negative request aaa

so as context: sometimes I zone out and due to my childhood I will flinch if I see a movement coming at me which at the time I thought was understandable/normal but my bf has already expressed his disappointment every time I flinched or denied physical affection and left me being the one who apologizes for a reflex and I was wondering how the batch (platonically) would react to the reader (preferably female) telling them that story if the reader was the batch's bffs or smth? :'D (plus Cody if that's okay!) I'd be curious to know if they would just try to calm me down or if they would try to encourage me to get that specific thing fixed maybe?

argh I'm so sorry for the long ass text cRIES

again no pressure whatsoever with this waaah

Aloha! 😊

Interesting question. Personally, I think personal space should always be respected, no matter how close we are with someone. In a relationship, most people tend to loving physical contact in many different forms, and I see how this reaction can be surprising or off-putting for some. But with a little empathy and patience, that really shouldn't be a problem for a partner to get used to and accept. If my partner is jumpy with such reflex reactions, I should be able to adjust. There is a reason for this reaction and I think you shouldn't be, or feel pressured to apologize for it. All in all, communication (and an understanding, open mind) is key, as it almost always is. Then there is also the option to try and get that out of your system, so to speak. Therapy might help, it's worth a try or two. After all, it would possibly make things easier for you as well, giving you more comfort in everyday life. Easier said than done, I know. But that's just my two cents. Either way, I'm wishing you all the best 😊 Let's see...

The Bad Batch/Cody x Reader HCs - The Flinch

Warnings: Implied Trauma / Traumatic Reflex Reaction

_________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_________

>Masterlist<

Hunter

It can happen casually, maybe he doesn't really think about it, just wants your attention for a moment, but you are busy, and your mind is elsewhere. A brief touch on the shoulder, innocent, gentle, without ulterior motives. Still, you flinch and turn around so quickly, startled, that he flinches briefly himself.

Hunter in no way intended to scare you or offend you, he would never do that consciously. Of course, he apologizes, you are close friends, he knows your past that you confided in him.

"I should have known better, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

He is patient, gentle and forgiving. Hunter tries his best to be sensitive to you and respect your boundaries. He is careful in his interactions with you, considerate.

Echo

The first time it happens, he is so startled by your reaction that he backs away and looks at his hand as if he expects to see it red-hot, or spiked. He blinks a few times, then says, "Sorry, did I scare you?"

Whether you confide in him or not, Echo will never hold it against you. He can understand that your reaction has a background, and he can respect that you don't want to share it with him. This does not change the fact that he will take it into consideration.

He sometimes seems strict and so serious, but he has an antenna for the sensitivities of others. It is in his nature to be considerate.

Wrecker

He is a bit impetuous and very affectionate. Scaring you or triggering a reaction is never his intention, but it can still happen quite a few times. You can speak openly with Wrecker, he is happy to listen to you, he is understanding even if you don't tell him everything.

He will always apologize if it still happens accidentally, and he will never blame you for these reactions. He will rather make sure that others around you respect your personal space as well.

Tech

He is not a particularly physical guy. On the contrary, Tech values his personal space and usually respects that of others around him. In combat, this may not be possible at times, but in general everyday life, Tech tends to keep a polite distance.

If he does trigger that automatic flight or defensive reaction, he apologizes immediately, and you can assume it won't happen again. He himself is not a fan of surprising touches, which is why he doesn't like Wreckers' little nudges at all and usually lets them pass with rolling eyes or critically furrowed brows.

Crosshair

As almost always, his first reaction is a bit grumpy. He doesn't immediately understand what's going on, but he's a good observer and a bright guy. Of course, he notices that you have these reactions more often, even with other people.

Crosshair reads your body language and realizes that this is a learned, habitual reflex reaction. He understands that there is a real, possibly deep-seated reason behind it. Of course, he adapts, even if he doesn't like to admit it, he can be considerate and very understanding.

So you don't have to worry about him. He certainly doesn't respect or appreciate you less than before because of that. In fact, it awakens a certain protective instinct in him.

Cody

At first, he is surprised, but he is neither offended nor annoyed. But he is attentive. As a soldier, he's learned to read body language, to interpret reactions, and even though you might not say anything about it, Cody understands pretty quickly what makes you tick.

You can count on him to pay attention to that in the future. You don't have to apologize to him, you can just be yourself and relax. Cody is always a safe haven.

He also won't let other people maybe cause you problems because of it. Anyone who teases you about it or makes fun of you should be prepared to get in trouble.

[lovemyromance]

I think regardless of which side of the ship war you're on, everyone is claiming that "Ofc their development and love story is going to play out more in their book!"

And I think that's a fair statement to make 🤷🏻‍♀️ No Elriel is claiming Elain & Azriel are in love right now (and if they are, they're wrong lmao), I might've seen some Eluciens & Gwynriels claiming their respective couples are in love or whatever - but I am willing to accept that is not the general consensus of those sides.

We often see the "Why would Elain accept a mating bond in a book that's not hers?" Argument from the Elucien side. And Elriels have countered with "Well then why would she reject a bond in a book that's not hers?" but apparently, THAT is too hard to grasp for some anti-Elriels.

I think the real question is: where is the buildup?

Elain & Azriel have undeniable build up on the page. Even if you dismiss all their other small romantic moments in the background (i.e. Hybern rescue, Truthteller, "sit I'll take care of it", garden scenes), they still were about to get NAWSTY with each other in the BC.

And you can call it whatever you want (love/lust/obsession), but you cannot deny that is clear romantic build up. Whether they are endgame or not, nothing will change the fact that Elain willingly chose to kiss the Spymaster, not her mate.

Speaking of the M-word: Also undeniable: Elain & Lucien are mates. Regardless of what happens, that bond situation will have to be addressed at some point in Elain's book.

But so far, that initial "You're my mate" is the only thing that gives us any indication that Elucien is even an option. Nothing I have seen from either of them is giving "mates".

In ACOTAR, it has been very clear with both Feyre & Nesta that their mate/endgame was Rhys/Cassian. How did we know that before they were declared mates officially?

Because the build up. They had clear chemistry on the page. Even when they were avoiding each other, they weren't really avoiding each other. From the moment Feyre met Rhys and thought he was the most beautiful man, to the moment Cassian & Nesta squared off at the dining table - we could see their chemistry and attraction on the page. They left us wanting for more.

If we compare Elucien to these couples - it cannot be said that they are the same. They already know they're mates, so arguably that should be more incentive to get to know a person - but they still avoid each other. All their interactions are described as uncomfortable, forced, or dry as hell. There is no conversation or interaction between them that had me smiling to myself or excited to read more about them.

You can place the blame on Elain all you want. Say that in ACOWAR - she was depressed. In ACOFAS - she was still adjusting to fae life. What's the excuse by ACOSF? She is just quietly miserable in the NC?

If that's the case - isn't that more of a reason to reach out to her non-NC mate? Isn't that more of a reason to want Lucien, over Azriel?

We see Elain ignore Lucien at every turn in ACOSF. We see multiple characters notice how Elain doesn't want him, Elain seems wary of him, Elain avoids him, Elain loses her boldness around him.

How is that build up? Even when SJM writes enemies to lovers, even if there are XYZ things against a pairing, they still have chemistry. That is what is missing in Elucien.

You don't need to wait till Elain's book to see chemistry. They've interacted multiple times and not one of their interactions had me wanting to see more.

Elucien will not fall in love suddenly off page. No one expects that. Elriel will also not fall in love off page.

The difference is, Elriel has shown chemistry. Attraction. Romantic interest.

Elucien has not. You can argue "foreshadowing" all you want but at the end of the day it comes down to Elain & Lucien and how they interact. Do they have any tension or chemistry? No. They just ignore and avoid.

That does not make for a solid foundation for a romance book. People are forgetting these are not standalones, these are spinoffs to ACOTAR. SJM has said herself she started planting clues for Nesta & Elain's stories in ACOFAS itself.

Even when Nesta was not the focus in ACOWAR, she and Cassian still had significant moments. Even before she turned fae, she and Cassian received a bonus chapter in ACOMAF. Their chemistry was undeniable. It was almost exactly like the Elriel BC encounter - but I guess we're not ready for that conversation 🤷🏻‍♀️.

All I am saying is that Elain & Azriel have had proven romantic buildup on the page. You can believe the mating bond will prevail but what is giving you that confidence reading the current text in front of you?

If I open ACOTAR 5 come springtime (lol can u imagine what a dream) - and Elain & Lucien suddenly start interacting and it's interesting and they have chemistry with each other- great. I'm on board.

But until then, they'll never have what Elain & Azriel have. And that's mutual romantic interest.

[erme-aeterna-arts]

so i’m watching black sails, and i’ve been having thoughts about s1-s2 and why they feel different from each other and how it serves the narrative.

so, the first impression from s1 was that somebody lied to me and the show is just your average one. like you see the characters who act a certain way, but you can’t tell why the hell they are doing what they are doing. see, eleanor, flint, they say what they’re doing it for, but it’s not what actually drives them, as we discover later. but in the beginning it still feels shallower and simpler than it is. even the relationship between eleanor and vane seems to have a completely different power structure (at first, the viewer is lead to expect the usual toxic dynamic with vane as the abuser, but i’d argue that eleanor has always had all the power, whenever she was with him, she used it for her political ambitions). or ned low who we expect to be the villain of the season and then he’s very quickly decapitated (bc he isn’t not the true villain of the story). there are many examples, but the point is that the viewer in s1 (and partly in s2) is an outsider to the story, is making assumptions based on what we are used to seeing in media, on the expectations and tropes we all subconsciously know and naturally employ to interpret situations when lacking information and later hold these interpretations as the ultimate and indisputable truth. and then they start debunking all that. the viewer begins to learn the truth, begins to immerse into the story.

and this experience of the viewer is necessary to the following dismantlement of the idea of “civilization”. this is the word being thrown left and right in s2, and it’s no coincidence that right until miranda is dead even flint still wants, desperately, to make peace with it, to be a part of it. discourse is a power structure, it is desired, everything that is spoken exists within it and according to its logic, like the concepts of good and evil, men and monsters. and if in the beginning to flint the purpose was to somehow make himself, his family, nassau, worthy of being a part of it, he later realizes that this will never mean freedom, so he tries to build a world outside of the reach of the empires, outside of the discourse.

because that world was never going to accept flint, a queer man, even though we see in his face before miranda speaks up that he would go through with peter ashe’s plan to tell the whole truth. because that world never existed for us, and i relate so much to it, the entire season is the pinnacle of the queer experience.

to sum up, the parallel that is drawn here is that in both cases the viewer is reminded not to trust the expectations we have of the world, not to expect what seems to be the truth to actually be it, that what you are being told is all lies and bullshit. because when miranda says that nobody but her knows why flint is doing it [trying to destroy the fort], we should believe her; because when we see the flashbacks with james and her, we should not assume automatically that the affair is between them, as it was only stated as a fact by other people like eleanor’s father, because it was thomas that james was in love with, because it was all the “civilization” needed to destroy their lives, because we, the lgbtq+, have always been pushed aside, into the shadows, from which captain flint as a persona was born; because when they, the empire, claimed then that this persona is the essence of the person, they did so to excuse the damage they’d inflicted, to hide the fact that the pain brought into the world was caused by them.

* i’d like to add something about the idea of the western world as a discourse (i’m including imperialism, patriarchy, queerphobia here as the basis of the power structure, hence the generalization), in the show it’s not just the word “civilization” that is used, it’s also “reason”, “society”, “rationality” and so on, bc they belong to this discourse. a very illustrative scene is the negotiations between jack rackham and that captain about sharing the prize like “reasonable men”. where it turned out that reasonable ≠ fair, that it meant that the one with more power was to have everything, according to “reason”, and the other one to end up with nothing. it’s a detail, but everything is connected in this show and so fuck the discourse :) fuck the empire :)

[scoobydoodean]

In my experience it's been bc deancrit cas/destiel girls can easily ignore most samgirls (at least hardcore ones) because they usually either ship wincest or don't really give a fuck about cas so they're in an entirely different "fandom circle". Whereas deangirls tend to have more crossover because the main ship in our circle is still destiel (while I'm personally kinda meh about romantic ships but I definitely see the appeal), so unfortunately they feel the need to get mad at deangirls they disagree w bc we "affect their fandom experience more".

I agree there's the wincest/samgirl/deangirl sphere and a destiel/casgirl/deangirl sphere and our posts generally circulate within those separate spheres among a completely separate audience. If I was hanging out with bibros, I'd get a lot more complaints from samgirls than I do in the destiel sphere (and many people in this "sphere" are meaner about Sam than I am tbqh).

In addition to that, samgirls and deangirls have been fighting since day one, so while we don't tend to view the show the same way and don't tend to get along, there's a pretty well-established 'Dead dove do not eat" situation between us. Of course squabbles still happen, but I think I tend to write meta in a way that makes our complete lack of interpretive common ground immediately apparent when samgirls do stumble across me. When you realize you can't agree with someone on the interpretation of dozens of basic facts, you often deflate before ever trying to start an argument.

On the other hand, I'm expected to display a certain amount of "loyalty" toward Cas. I actually do recognize this and I do actually respond to it to a certain degree (at the very least for the sake of a few casgirl mutuals). At the same time, I firmly believe that the expectations of deangirls and casgirls in the destiel sphere are not symmetric. In fact, most of the negative experiences I've had were a result of me disagreeing with popular deancrit takes rather than speaking critically of Cas. This is because among destiel shippers, there's an unspoken agreement to blog about Cas and Dean in a certain way, and it isn't all about hiding criticism—it's also about agreeing to accept certain criticisms that I... don't agree with. Me not agreeing with those criticisms is seen as "stirring up drama" by some destiel shippers. The thing is, I think most of the people who think of me that way are basing their expectations of my behavior on the constraints that they face themselves. How we behave on our own blogs is largely informed by who is mutuals with who (i.e., people don't want to upset their mutuals). Destiel shippers who follow hundreds of other blogs have a very collectivist mindset and tend to assume all destiel shippers follow the exact same mix of people that they do, when that is not the case. I follow maybe two dozen supernatural blogs.

I understand that some destiel shippers/casgirls don't want to see my opinions on their dashes, but I have a right to my opinions and I am literally not sharing a community the people who complain the most about me. I'm not going to obscure or change my opinions to make strangers I don't follow and whose posts I am in most cases not even cognizant of happy. Some casgirls avoid me or block me and move on with their lives and that works just fine for me, but others seem to have trouble accepting that I am over here blogging about things they don't agree with and get angry that they can't control what I post. At the end of the day, seeing my posts is a choice that a person has to actively make. I don't use generic fandom tags. I don't even tag my gifsets. I don't skulk around on the blogs of people I don't know looking for things to bitch about, and I never interact negatively on other people's posts. If a beloved mutual is putting my posts on someone's dash and they don't want to see my opinions, they can filter my url. It's literally that simple.

[khaosrealms]

I love the Syzoth X Princess!Reader so much I can't even- ❤️❤️❤️ Is it alright if I request something similar but with the Lin Kuei trio? Syzoth falling in love with Sub-Zero, Scorpion, and Smoke's younger sister? I imagine her joining the Outworld investigation bc "Lord Liu Kang, you're sending two of the least stealthiest people in our group for a covert op? With all respect, why in the world did you think this was a good idea?" Basically pressuring the local demi-god into letting her tag along, and the mission going to hell anyway. Super-ninja be damned, the chaos cannot be contained. I also imagine Johnny isn't going to let that fact go anytime soon.

NUWA’S RAZOR. / SYZOTH X LIN KUEI! READER.

a/n: of course it is alright to ask for such a request, that is why i’m here! thank you so much for sending the ask— i am happy to respond 💚

- Perhaps it comes with the territory of being the sole sister of a family of boys. A sense of responsibility likened to that of a mother coordinating a group of toddlers. Younger than your brothers you may be, but hardly inept and hardly easily swayed enough to be told by your Lord when your presence is unneeded. What else was he to expect, when you spent the many of your living years upon Outworld’s soil doing everything in your power to prevent your brothers from slaughtering one another where they stood? If there was anyone more capable of investigating Outworld with discretion, it is you.

“Look at them, my Lord.” You utter, gazing upon his champions. A cabbage farmer, a former yakuza, a deadbeat stage fool. Men who can hardly so much as breathe before taking a bite at one another’s necks. Well, at the very least— with Kung Lao, it was more to take a nip at your own. Easier to control. “If it is recognition you fear, you know you may trust me to remain hidden much better than these… Earthrealmers you have chosen.” You do not miss the gasp of insult that escapes Johnny’s lips; rather, you choose ignorance. Searching for answers in Liu Kang’s glowing eyes. Yet nothing speaks, so it is words you are forced to accept. Words that come in what you imagine is a form of sigh from your Lord’s lips. “No one is to know that you are Lin Kuei.”

- And also, perhaps, you should have simply chosen to let the Earthrealmers suffer their own given fate. The bickering, the clumsy coordination, Tarkat, Shang Tsung, by god, Kenshi’s own eyes. By the time that you awake in a cell, dank and filthy with the smell of corpses and gore, you feel as if that day, you’d been better suited to remaining at home. Continuing your daily training as you’d had for years on end. But instead, waking with an ache in your head so deep it rushes to your spine and forces you up, you realize you no longer had that privilege. Here, instead, you were residing within Shang Tsung’s true laboratory— soon to be faced with the horror of being taken apart and made into whatever greeted your eyes through the cell’s bars.

- You’d been the second in the cell to awake, after Kenshi, woken by virtue of true and utter pain, gouged of his sight; and Baraka, awake since his capture, there to fill the hours alongside you both while you stew in your fate. You’d learned from the former merchant that your jailer had passed prior to your awakening. And now, all five of you await for his return, well— some of you. Johnny and Kung Lao were deep sleepers, it seemed. For now, the ones in the waking world, Baraka, Kenshi, and yourself, filled the rancid air with words. Jailer, you wondered. A chance to flee, bars wide enough to wrench a hand through, threaten for freedom. Options, all waiting for you to spring upon the man who chose to align himself with Shang Tsung and would die for his choice.

- Nearly, you do it. When Johnny finally rouses, stumbling to Kenshi’s side, your jailer appears. Dressed in green, red fabric tied around his bicep, and a tattooed arm that reaches in just enough to be held and twisted around. But it is Baraka who makes the first move, his word that gives you enough pause to listen and discover the true nature of your jailer. Not a herald for Shang Tsung’s cause— a slave to it. His family in the clutches of a man who would slaughter them if so much as a whisper of betrayal left him. A shapeshifter, a Zaterran. Syzoth, a name you only learn due to Shang Tsung’s arrival after fighting the hoards of his creations. A sorcerer who revealed your jailer’s only purpose for remaining in enslavement was a lie. His family dead “many moons ago”. Suffering for no cause but for Shang Tsung’s cruel ambition. Here to die alongside the five of you; suffocating in toxins.

“I should’ve simply stayed with my brothers.” You can’t seem to get the rancid smell of Shang Tsung’s labratory out from your lungs; no matter how hard you breathe in the air of Outerworld. Johnny cackling out a laugh. And too, that smell sitting in the newfound companion of Syzoth. But rather, more so— the scent of despair. Enough to give you pause; to bite back Bi-Han’s insults and instead lean towards Kuai Liang’s guidance. “…He will get what he is due.” A momentary sentiment, but you can see his eyes flicker. Heard, even in the abyss of his mourning. “I am sorry, for your grave loss.” For a moment, he reminds you of Tomas. A sort of kindness in a place where it should have no place coexisting. “Thank you.” “Thank me once we get what you are owed.”

- From that time forth, an agreement formed between you both. To seize the moment, to make Shang Tsung fear the hour for which his own actions would smite him, and you would be there— to assist in that vengeance. A blood pact, almost; shaken hands on even. A source of comedy for Johnny, who found nothing but delight of the thought of the ‘big bad serious ninja’ actually shaking someone’s hand. Syzoth simply shared in your confusion. A mutual link of attitude towards the odd Earthrealmer. If a bit more lenient of his callousness than yourself.

- In Syzoth, you suppose what you find is a… reasoning for balance. You’d cared for your family, always, yes— but you never considered what truly was at stake had someone taken them away. If, like your father, all those you loved were slaughtered. Would you still find the determination to keep going once they were gone? Would you still fair with that kindness he holds when the two of you speak during the night? Still passionate about living beyond vengeance against Shang Tsung— enough to laugh with the Earthrealmers where you failed to join. Too set in Lin Kuei ways; the silence of it, the tight grip of it that these days Bi-Han holds over it as grandmaster. You’d never considered it before. That it was possible you could be swayed. That it would be a Zaterran who would make you question the way of the Lin Kuei as it was.

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

I have a question about the abandonment of the Linnaean taxonomy, please. Under the clades system, do we still use genus and species? You know, for nomenclature and such?

Sorry to be one of the ignorant people asking what is probably an obvious question.

you're fine! I don't mind honest questions. It's when people assume they know things and try to correct me in my notes that drives me up the wall.

in my master's degree, I took multiple classes about all of this, including one where we discussed different species concepts and whether or not species are even real. fun fact, they are not - they are us trying to describe nature in ways we can all understand. but they're still us putting boxes around that which cannot be boxed.

Genus and Species are sticking around primarily bc they're THE names we have for organisms. if we got rid of them, we'd have no way to talk about anything.

in an ideal world, we would redefine species to be the smallest independent evolutionary unit. but we don't live in an ideal world.

in living organisms, animals you'd never expect are able to hybridize, completely fucking up reproductive isolation as a way to figure out independent evolutionary units. plants are constantly cross pollenizing, birds and mammals have extensive hybrid zones, and then there's whatever the fuck ray finned fish can do.

bacteria ruin everything even more with horizontal gene transfer, essentially preventing us from being sure we know their lineage at all

then, when we look at the vast majority of species that have existed - ie, everything that is extinct - we can't even figure out reproductive isolation to any degree because they are very, very, very dead. if a species is older than 2.5 million years - so, most species - we don't even have DNA to look at. so we have to use their shapes, which can often lead to us not realizing a species is actually a juvenile form of another (see dracorex and pachycephalosaurus), or that they're different sexes of the same species (see what we thought moa were before we could sequence their genomes - the size disparity between male and female moa lead to them being considered separate species). Morphology and context behind it is all we have, but it's like using a 1990s computer today - good enough, but we know we're missing a lot.

so, yeah. genus and species are staying around purely because we need them, but species are being defined as clades. genera... look, I'd love for genera to be clades, but then that means that nothing ever leaves them, right? so everyone's classification would just be lists of genera. but having them be paraphyletic feels weird. I don't know. we'd have to come up with a whole new naming system. At least for the other linnaean ranks, we can just determine which are real clades and assign those names to those clades, and throw the other names out. but with this... we either have to accept paraphyly, or come up with a new system. or make them be clades, and suddenly genera names are like last names in Spanish-speaking countries...

[girlwithamissingpearl]

Here we go again. The criticism of SH’s Sassanach Gin tour is as expected. Not everyone has to like what he does. That’s fair. But that continuing narrative that he takes advantage of his fans? Sorry, but that’s a hard no for me.

Personally I don’t know how the actual fuck he does it. Ten years in and he is still gracious and accommodating to all his fans, even those that cross every line. How is unsolicited groping ever acceptable? I think he is far too affable. But the he’s taking advantage of his fans continues. If all he wanted to do was was an Outlander pump and dump cash grab, not only is he doing it all wrong, he’s working far to hard. Rather than invest his own money and produce a craft product, he could have purchased a house brand equivalent of whisky and gin, and concentrate on labels. Imagine limited edition pumpkin spice, thanksgiving, Christmas, new year’s, Valentine’s Day, shirtless-you get the idea- SH limited edition bottles. I think he’s looking beyond that and trying to build a brand.

There’s also been a lot written about the individual appearances and signings. I would never camp out at midnight to get a place in line, but a 6-8 hour wait? There are a small group of gals that I follow and Dm with, that I would gladly grab a lawn chair and sunscreen and happily take my place in line with. Not sure if they would be as keen, but @khccbc1745, @kiaora45, @harriethattie, @caldineens, @collectido, @ maryofboston, @ Stargazer74 , @andorra97 and many more, who take the time to not only comment, but call me out when I get things wrong(which I have been known to do) you know who you are- I’d wait in line, with any of these women, in a heartbeat. Even though we range in age-40-80- I don’t think we would have a single second of silence. With a group, you take turns getting coffee, snacks, lunch…quick SH selfie, hotel nap, dinner and drinks. I think that’s the part people don’t get when they see the long lines. It’s not for everyone, but it’s also for most a once in a lifetime thing. Go ahead and laugh, a couple of years ago I was the first to make fun of people like me, but scrolling through the fandom has become one of my favourite things to do, and something I don’t have to share with other family and friends that will never understand the joy of all things Outlander and SH😊. The other thing that most people don’t get is that, and I think I can speak not only for myself but the other amazing women in the fandom, we really don’t take each other that seriously. This is fun, and for me definitely a guilty pleasure bc🥸I’m so happy that I have these like minded people I can commiserate with because I just watched the last mid season episode of season 7. How dare they say…to be continued next year. Next year? Ffs.

On a final note, a fun fact. If we didn’t have tickets for tennis, I definitely would have gone to the Scottish festival in Fergus Ontario to see our very own hometown boy CV, and RR and for once be able to post some original pics. Not far from home, I’ve been to the festival in the past- definitely have Scots in the family tree including a competitive bagpiper- and its always fun. I’ve really enjoyed CV as WR in the first part of season 7 and really looking forward to watching his story unfold. But having to wait until next year to watch the second half of season 7, and who knows how long before season 8 airs. Don’t even get me started about DG, and the timeline for the release of book 10. Seriously considering a class action lawsuit for the cruel and unusual punishment inflicted by DG when she said Jamie’s ghost story would be revealed in the last page of book 10. Why DG? Why? On the other hand, I can take my time scrolling, commenting and posting about season 7. If I was a patient person, which I’m not. So for now I’ll make due with the ongoing commentary of how people around the world refer to the “pineapple swim trunks” SH sports in an upcoming episode of MIK 2. Something budgies….🦜🏊‍♂️🩲…

[oh-my-damn]

Re-watching the Pianist for the umpteenth time bc I love that movie, the cinematography, how well the actors did, the raw emotion in it, the devastation it so accurately portays

The lack of humanity and empathy shown so hauntingly

But now I can't help but think about how the beginning of the movie mirrors the experiences of Palestinians

It really is very interesting and disturbing and frustrating, all at the same time

So many jewish people are speaking out on behalf of Palestinians, because they know what their ancestors lived through

And although the Pianist is only partly a true story and perhaps some things have been altered, the early stages of the restriction of jewish people during the war mirrors what Palestinians go through on a daily basis and that fact is just....

It's just a lot.

The restrictions of travel, them being moved into a specific area, the fact their faith has to be documented so clearly?

It resembles a lot how Palestinians have different passports and how their freedom is restricted because of this, and how 2.2 million Palestinians were forced to live in the Gaza strip which is actually tiny considering the amount of people living there

I have said it before and I will say it again, I have such a hard time understanding how anyone could try and justify this. I know people like to conflate zionism with judaism but that is simply not true. Being of jewish faith does not at all equal you being a zionist.

Now a days, they like to tell you that if you're against Israel (a nation) which is zionistic in nature, that means you're anti-semitic (anti-judaism) but the two are not the same.

This is why we, time and again, see "jews against zionism" and "jews for a free palestine" banners at every protest.

I think there's something to be said about the rhetoric being used to distract and demean genuine concerns. Being against how a nation acts cannot and SHOULD not be against any religion, because a nation should not be conflated with the religion they may or may not think or believe they represent? It's a government just like any other government.

Questioning your government is smart, and healthy, and it is the future of society and politics. Things need to change, they have needed to change for a very long time.

If a religiously based government is condemned in any other country, then why shouldn't it be when it comes to Israel? It doesn't make sense. And we DO condemn religiously based governments on a global scale. But now because it's suddenly not an islamic state, it's okay for them to operate the way they do??? Make it make sense.

The similarities are one too many. You want to argue it's not a genocide? Okay, then explain to me where you expect the Palestinians to go. Explain to me what you expect to happen to them. What is the endgame? What is the true purpose of this war?

Are you going to tell me that the thousands of children killed in this war, were all Hamas terrorists? A 3 year old child is a terrorist?

How do you explain Israel refusing to accept a ceasefire despite the countless offers Hamas has made? "What about the hostages" what about the fact Hamas has offered the hostages SEVERAL TIMES in return of a ceasefire and the prime minister of Israel has rejected every single one of them? What about that?

I am so flabbergasted. I am shocked. I am appalled. I just want people to be able to have their faith, to live their lives, to have human rights. Every single person on earth deserves this. Why shouldn't they?

Why should they have to ASK for rights? Give them the rights they are fucking owed as HUMAN BEINGS.

[oratoful]

did someone say hatoful oc

This is Ulrich Althaus! A 22 year old Hawk Party member who primarily does internal operations regarding programming and technology in general. Me and my friend actually have an entire AU dedicated to expanding on the tensions between the Hawk and Dove party and the internal corruption of the Dove party. I'd adore infodumping about it once we have it more wrapped up and cohesive.

Spoiler stuff regarding general hatoful world-lore and things of the like. I wanna be safe soOOOOOOOOOO

Ulrich became a hawk operative when he was around 13 years of age. Having an interest in tech from a young age, he was placed in advanced courses within his school. Very cool and good, I know. His father was a liaison within Europe and was killed by the Human Liberation Force due to a miscommunication between parties. As a result, Ulrich learns to despise humans. He's visited by a hawk researcher (Raphael, who I will make a post about) who offers him a position within their junior programming division. He claims there are benefits and that Ulrich could do with not hauling himself in his and his mother's home due to his father's death. His mother, begrudgingly, accepts the offer, realizing that not only will the facility offer him higher education for his intelligence, but it will actively watch over him.

Unbeknownst to her, of course, Ulrich becomes ensnared in Hawk activities. He's an overly prideful man who feels the need to avenge his father's name/live up to his family's expectations. Of course, he doesn't realize that in this universe, his father would absolutely loathe what he's done. He would hate the man his son has become. He’s completely tarnishing the efforts faust made toward human and bird peace in an attempt to bring a vengeance his father would’ve never wanted.

Hatoful Ulrich seeks to make it known that he doesn't cut corners and that he wants to get back at humans for their assumed atrocities (he has a biased viewpoint bc those are fun). I imagine he's absolutely made spyware with the sole purpose of information gauging and getting data for the hawk party. He covers his tracks pretty well while also leaving annoying damage for the doves to fix.

As a little fun side thing, I like to imagine the Programming and Technical department he works for is a subsidiary for SecOps. They bleed into each other very often. As a result, this rude little man butts heads with Tohri SO OFTEN before Tohri ends up pursuing other work. (in mine and nick's au he stays in the lab for longer)

Would love to get more into him sometime he's so in depth UGHHH.

for some fun facts with him:

He uses a mobility aid! He's my cane rep

He hates being helped. It makes him feel like he's being looked down on. One of my other researchers often hovers over him due to how often he tries to push his physical limitations. Ulrich has flogged him. Twice.

autistic. He's so crude/judgmental in speech. He also doesn't care to drop formality and say when he doesn't like someone.

He often works from home and doesn't enjoy coming into the lab for work.

Ulrich is genuinely painfully vindictive and efficient though. I feel like if he had the motivation to back something like the hawk party, he'd leave destruction in his wake. I also think that motherfucker would tamper with machinery to make it fail on researchers he doesn't like

He trips people with his tail if they make him angry enough. He's a little PRICK

speaking of little he actually stands smaller than most other peafowl

Him and Tohri have a WEIRD relationship. They're the best of friends one day and they're trying to kill each other the next day. It's impossible to tell what they actually feel about each other.

[broodsys]

been on the fence about saying this. don't really want to become a politicized blog, but still, i think it's worth mentioning

but over the last few years, i've been noticing a trend - just personally noticing, i'm not saying it's exclusive to the last few years bc i doubt it is - about leftist people becoming radicalized in ways rooted in exclusivity

and the thing is, this happens. propaganda works. exposure to ideas works. and then, once the beliefs begin to take root, there's a reactiveness there, a defensiveness, that becomes harder and harder to get around. i say this as someone who's been there, and is really determined to never return. but it takes intention

so, one thing i've been seeing a lot of since the election is a wave of hating all men. i get it. really, i do. but i am here to gently, compassionately remind ppl that this is the exact opening te/rfs look for. this is their in. they'll like your posts about hating men. they'll establish a connection, a rapport

some other points about the All Men Are Awful Monsters discourse:

harms trans men, like myself. contributes to us feeling like accepting the gender we are is harmful, damaging, etc. makes us more likely to stay in the closet. also works to exclude trans men - especially those who pass - from queer spaces

speaking personally, when ppl seem to accept the fact that i'm a man but turn around and disparage all men, i feel like they view me as a woman-turned-man, or a Man Lite, or something else along those lines. i'm not! i'm just a guy.

harms trans women. whether through arguments of "male socialization," or considering the penis to be a tool of violence rather than just genitalia, or through only accepting them provisionally, if they're feminine enough, if they pass enough, etc

harms all trans people, including nonbinary people, because it demonizes the role of masculinity; whether that's a past role for them, or a present role, or a partial/sometimes role, or something else entirely

harms disabled men, neurodivergent men, queer men, POC men, etc.

specifically works to support some really heinous stereotypes about certain groups of men, like Black men

and also

makes men - including cishet, white, able-bodied men, privileged men - less likely to escape their own radicalization. i don't expect this point to matter to everyone, but if any of your personal activism work revolves around deradicalization, i think this has to be one of your tenets

and none of this is to say:

that you have to admire or forgive men who do bad things

that you have to forgive men who have abused you or others

that you have to accept patriarchy

that you cannot speak of your own abuse or struggles

that you must, personally, guide every man to what is "right"

that you cannot point out things like how western men have voted in the recent election

it's really just about questioning the "all men" phrasing. i understand where it's coming from. i get the pushback against the "not all men" argument, i really do. i sympathize with the frustrations. but anytime you take a whole entire demographic and label them in one way, you are limiting your own perspective, whether that's your intent or not

the language we use matters. that includes the language we use in our own thoughts. repetition creates pathways, pathways become familiar routes, familiar routes become ingrained, and ingrained routes become very, very difficult to question. yes, you know that your "all men" is really just saying "all men who do bad things," but brains are silly. all men can eventually come to mean all men. all of them. forever. and even if that wasn't true, your "all men" might mean "all men who do bad things," but you'll draw in people who think you literally mean every single man

i'm not trying to shame anyone. i'm not trying to start an argument. i'm just saying, from experience, that this is something to be aware of. and even if the potential harm to men and trans people doesn't really matter to you, i'd hope that most of the people following me don't want to be sought after for recruitment by te/rfs, so that's something to keep in mind

[yakultii]

Confession:

(disclaimer: these are only deep contemplations of mine, I have no intention to perform reckless acts)

I've spent a majority of my life wondering if there's something inherently wrong with me in terms of my ability to interact with other people. This is particularly apparent when it comes to (a majority of) my romantic endeavors.

The past two years for me have been spent wondering if everything I've done to follow in the footsteps of those who came before me have been all for naught. The more time goes by, the more it seems to hold true. We're not really meant to conform to society as it is now.

I believe that a majority of us have never truly experienced the raw sensations which are meant to accompany being human, and emptiness is no stranger to those of us who are attempting to navigate this world rather than be pulled along by the tide; it all seems to be superficial, and I rarely encounter people who are brave enough to admit their entire life has been a lie.

Perhaps it could just be the ramblings of someone who is so far removed from normality, but I often think (and have thought so before, in my teens) that my views are abnormal and that it would be better for me to speak less than say what I really feel about the world and others around me.

I have been awaiting someone who may understand and accept for me for who I am. I've found what I thought to be true love many times, and it has made me a much better person, but I often think about if things would be better if I were someone else.

you know, I could obviously be wrong (just kidding I’m literally god) but to me, every point you made is a part the human experience itself - personally I’ve come to accept that yes there is something inherently wrong with me - in terms of the norms that have been socially constructed within the society I live in, but that doesn’t actually mean it’s wrong (language and concepts, rights & wrongs etc are all socially constructed too).. it doesn’t make the longing to feel “right” any easier, but there’s a little less pain in accepting “it is what it is”…but at the same time, while you may never feel understood (at least I haven’t yet either and have come to accept maybe I never will), you’re still a human! (despite maybe not feeling like it at times?) so there’s a commonality there that literally can’t be taken away from you..also feel understood in knowing there are others out there who feel so incredibly misunderstood too, maybe in different ways but the feeling is still the same..FEELING IS ALWAYS THE SAME despite being expressed and described in different ways (so very human!) ….another thing I’ve learned is that socialisation takes a lot of practice and consistency combined with again acceptance that maybe you won’t feel understood, sometimes understanding yourself can be enough and sometimes understanding yourself can be too much, so know that just “being” is all that was ever required of you while you’re here.

I don’t think we’re meant to “do anything” really, I don’t think we should be trying to “be anything” unless it brings us fulfilment in some way (and sometimes this fulfilment is false due to conforming to a certain expectation which is a whole other can of worms but regardless it’s fulfilment in some form)..

idk I feel like I could go on forever but for the sake of not writing an entire thesis I’m just gonna say whether we believe anything to be superficial or “real” ..it is. We can easily say everything is superficial OR everything is real or some things are superficial and some things are real and all theories are as true as each other. Language has been created and used to once again construct concepts within society but at the end of the day everything we think we know is all manmade - like, we genuinely could all conclude our entire life is a lie bc literally what the fuck is this??? like idk why I’m here or if existence on earth is even real.. and like the fact we are just here for a bit and then we’re gone like the fuck is up with that?? :,)

also, if you feel this way I’m assuming ur neurodiverse and if this is the case then pls remember that while ur views may seem/feel abnormal etc. maybe it’s just the way you express them? maybe it’s just the way you think about them? maybe it’s the way others don’t think about them in the same way you do? maybe it’s the way others don’t express them in the same way you do? none of this means that you have entirely different views.. in fact probably many ppl, particularly neurodiverse ppl have come to similar conclusions, but y’all are never going to feel as though you relate bc ur minds are so particular about the ways in which you perceive, interpret and express things that nothing anyone says is ever going to feel right/just like how you percieve and express things - ikr kinda brutal that not even neurodiverse ppl can relate to each other half the time, leaving us to feel even more isolated than we already do…

anyways this is just from my experiences/understandings of the world and obvs it might not click with you (and it also takes practice to rewire ur thinking… and also my way of thinking is not right or wrong and is also everchanging) - but also pls don’t try to be someone else (u can try out different identities bc identities are socially constructed also and are an ongoing performance but don’t try any that don’t feel right for you) , you wouldn’t have been born if the world requested someone else at that particular time, life is about learning and experiencing and taking our own unique path so try ur very best to not compare urs to others and try to find confidence in urself as you are first (Ik easier said than done but practice liteeally fake it at first if u need) and im sure you’ll find that more ppl then start to find confidence in you too <33 maybe oneday you’ll feel understood, but there are glimpses of light in the meantime, promise!

[thestobingirlie]

some ppl do too much w making eddie v traditionally smart/knowledgeable or w having steve say that eddie is one of the smartest people he knows (as though steve's best friends are not robin and dustin). i have also seen ppl make steve say that eddie is the smartest person he knows which,,, okay. sure. we're all a little delusional sometimes ig. then use this as a springboard for him just not trying in school or w/e bc he doesn't care despite him clearly caring enough to repeat senior year three times instead of just getting his ged. this also works against what i find most appealing about eddie - like some ppl want him to be a bad boy played straight who is super smart and competent and i do not understand that. i like that eddie is a drug dealer that just can't graduate high school obsessed w his nerdy interests who is not cool and also not v competent outside of his specific interests, particularly in the intense survival situation he finds himself in. that's what makes eddie fun to me and it's also why any fics or aus that make him hyper successful/famous/competent/badass/etc never feel authentic to him as a character imo. they just rarely let the fact that he is a soft-hearted, nervous person at heart shine and that is what i like most about him. also ppl don't appreciate the way steddie defies expectation enough - like when it comes to dealing w the weird, scary world of the upside down you expect eddie to thrive and steve to flounder when steve is actually the borderline hypercompetent one in those situations, even at the very start. that's what makes the pairing fun and so few ppl appreciate that bc they just want to force them into overplayed archetypes.

oh it pisses me off when people try to make eddie scholarly. boy is on his third attempt of senior year. like, he’s clearly trying to pass, but he can’t. and that speaks to trouble with class more than eddie just not trying, or teachers purposely holding him back, which i’ve also seen in fics and just doesn’t really make sense to me. i feel like a drug dealer is the kinda student you would want to leave high school lmao

eddie is definitely not the smartest person steve’s knows, and that’s not a bad thing! no one has any trouble making steve out to be the biggest idiot alive, but for some reason people have a hard time making eddie seem dumb. like, i think i’ve mentioned this before but i saw one fic that said steve only passed high school because his dad paid the school or something? to try and make it seem like eddie was better in school and it’s so stupid! there’s nothing wrong with being bad at school, but so many people just can’t seem to accept that eddie is bad at school, and steve was slightly better, considering he passed the first time.

and yeah! eddie’s a pathetic loser, and i love that about him! he’s a 19/20 year old still in school, obsessed with d&d. people who take that loserness away from him ruin his character.

you would expect eddie to really find himself in a real life d&d game, become a badass, but instead he flounders. he can’t handle it. which is a fun contrast to our other geeky characters. and people that try to make eddie the saviour and steve the one that totally looks up to him, is weird. the fun of steddie is that eddie starts out expecting steve to be a douchebag, and yet he ends up as someone he wants to emulate and become. eddie finds out steve is the epitome of a hero, rather than an asshole jock. (and though i don’t doubt that eddie has traits that steve would love, he’s not gonna be really looking up to him as a genius. because that’s just not who eddie is)

(also, this is kinda irrelevant, but it made me think about kas!eddie, and how people always make him super badass and brutal, and i think it would be funny if he was just a failure at that too. like, not very good at fighting, just treats this shit like a d&d game. literally just a hinderance to vecna. not on purpose to help the others. he’s just shit at it lol)

[cherienymphe]

i think it’s mostly new people that are coming here and getting their feelings hurt tbh. while i haven’t been here since 2019 i’ve been here long enough to know what is and what isn’t acceptable. sarcasm is a form of passive aggression and you’ve already expressed that you’re well aware and that you’ve even gotten that in the past. i do find your persona on here sarcastic and curt at times and i think it’s foolish for people to expect something different when you’ve never presented yourself otherwise. to me you just seem like someone who simply isn’t in the business of people pleasing or mincing their words. i think the anonymity emboldens people to “tell you about yourself” which is ironic because that’s them being passive. it’s simple really. don’t like it? leave. it bothers you so bad? unfollow. this isn’t me saying you’re above critique. it’s okay to enjoy and be a fan of someone’s work but not the person they seem to be. hp and tlou fans do it daily. just show your support and go (though it sounds like they don’t properly do that anyway so i guess…just go.) and for the people who keep asking about bt or any other wip, find something else to care about. there are plenty of other writers/stories on here and elsewhere to entertain yourself with. hell, pick up a hobby in your real life, something. anything other than coming on here to throw a tantrum and waste your time being disrespectful. this was long ik. woke up with it on my mind.

Maybe that's where my disconnect lies when someone called me passive aggressive bc i associate passive aggression with people who are afraid of confrontation and who throw stones and then hide their hands and that couldn't be more opposite of me 😭

right like at the end of the day I think it's kind of silly to harass someone bc they aren't as nice as you think they should be. Just leave 🧍🏾‍♀️this is my home after all and I've said before that some people think any kind of tone less than gentle and hand holding is "mean" when...it's not. I've argued with people who just don't know wtf mean actually is and this is why I have the friends I do irl bc I don't need someone asking me every single day if I'm mad at them just because I'm not babying them and speaking to them in a gentle voice. That's just not who I am. I'm a very matter of fact and straight to the point kind of person and some people don't like that personality type which is valid but idk why it's becoming my problem

[culminada]

scrolling autistic Tumblr and not relating to anything anymore.

Even though I know I'm autistic. It's all sensory sensitivity, anxiety, inability to be authentic, difficulties unmasking, experiencing ableism, unusual connection to animals (?), "stop saying autistic people have never had sex", etc.

Autistic people ARE more likely to be asexual, and I'm one of them! It feels invalidating when people complain abt other people's headcanons of autistic people never having had sex. I'm autistic and I've never had sex.

I was raised in an accepting home and homeschooled. I have never experienced someone invalidating my autism when I come out. I have never experienced someone not believing me about an autistic symptom. I have always been encouraged to be myself and express myself authentically. I don't struggle with anxiety. I feel like I can express myself authentically with my friends (autistic and neurotypical). I don't avoid social situations with them, in fact I seek them out.

I was a later teenager before I ever had to mask. I speedran 'learning to mask' in 3 years in a hostile environment (hostile meaning cliquish and normal (derogatory)) and now? Honestly it doesn't feel like masking anymore? It can be hard to initiate interaction with someone I don't know and I usually avoid it, but social cues? Just feels like learning another language. But I CAN learn it. It's a complex set of rules to be learned. I used to not be able to recognize people I'd talked to before. Now I can do it fine, no problem. I'm much better with names, too. Interaction with other autistic people feels easier, but it's still interaction.

With my neurotypical friends and family I'm very relaxed and I don't worry about masking unless it's an emotionally-charged situation (and even then, I DO want to show support and I know how, it just feels like translating what I want to communicate into a language that they'll understand and feel. It's an act of love and care for me, not a burden or smth I'm anxious about.) Social interaction doesn't cause me stress like it used to. (And how much of that was the cliquishness of the place I was at?)

And I'm not struggling to fit in a world that wasn't built for me. Neither I nor my family nor my culture expects me to get a job. The last time somebody asked if I was graduated yet or what grade I was in, and I tried to explain the convoluted mess for the umpteenth time, my mom just shrugged and casually declared me graduated. Ig I graduated in some random person's kitchen one Sunday afternoon. I'm not going to college and I don't need a job. I don't have to stress about half the things my autistic peers do.

I don't experience sensory sensitivity, like I've said.

I hyperfocus so hard I DONT notice all the little things; distracting sounds, etc. that even neurotypicals notice.

Sometimes I feel like I have the opposite of all the autistic symptoms.

What ARE my symptoms then?

Inability to start and stop tasks. Special interests. Stimming. Rigid thinking. Missing social cues. Lower empathy. Caffeine doesnt effect me. Hyposensitivity. Greater need of sleep. Distress when things change. Difficulty adjusting my expectations when circumstances change. Missing the bigger picture (esp in social situations). Needing to re-hash every social interaction in my head after the fact.

And those symptoms are mild, too, in the sense that they don't impact my life a whole lot. Maybe I just have kind friends who don't mind the occasional missed social cue or oversharing? Executive dysfunction is the worst symptom (in the sense of negatively impacting my life), and maybe oversleeping compared to neurotypicals. Am I even autistic??

I don't know, AM I masking and don't realize it? Bc I definitely used to have major social trouble.

My friend who is autistic is very sure that I'm autistic, but idk if that's just because I can speak the autistic language easily? I remember before I knew I was autistic and she told me she was, and I mentally switched my script from 'normal people (derogatory)' to 'autistic person (yay, less complex!)'

At the time, I saw it as just another script. An easier one for sure, one I understood (even just from seeing posts online. There's just one rule: be straightforward. And maybe let her info dump sometimes. And be aware of potential sensory difficulties.). It felt more natural; like the way I always communicated at home. like I could stop masking.

But I don't have any scripts at all now. I don't mask. I just interact. I know how my autistic friend interacts. I know how my neurotypical friends interact. And I just DO! The interaction!

What do yall think? Is this masking?? Aaaaahcjskfjskfjd