#bc of all the external links

[larryrickard]

i had a dream that i made little cards that say "THEY!" on them that i handed out to people at work who got my pronouns wrong, immediately after they got it wrong. and in smaller text (or on the back) it said "i don't want an apology, i want you to do better" or "don't say you're sorry, DO BETTER" and ..... i kind of want to do it. maybe i'll get some moo cards made lmao

various scenarios included:

me slamming it down on a desk in front of them.

instead i had stickers, would slowly peel one off while they watched, and stick it on it on them.

handing out a quarter sheet piece of paper based on the 'i caught being good' tags we'd get in kindergarten which said 'i got caught misgendering hallie/my coworker'. it would have their name and date on it and a giant 🙁 face. i had them as a pad of paper and would hold up a finger to say 'wait a second', dramatically pull it out of my back pocket, take my pen out of another pocket, slowly fill it out in front of them, and hand it to them while staring them in the eyes.

getting a whiteboard for the outer side of my cubicle wall that said '[days] since i was misgendred' (with a bonus by saying 'last offender: [name]'

i also dreamt that i got into trouble for it because i was making people feel bad and was 'creating a hostile work environment'. i was just like.... okay and how do you think i feel? and my boss shut up real fuckin quick. dunno if that would be the case irl but if that does happen i can only dream.

[waywardsalt]

its all fun and games to let your interests mix and meld until you start letting the neon genesis evangelion vibes mix with phantom hourglass ideas

[junimoosims]

how do ppl make mobile nav posts…i wish to learn 🙏🏻

[ryin-silverfish]

So You Want to Read More about Chinese Mythos: a rough list of primary sources

"How/Where can I learn more about Chinese mythology?" is a question I saw a lot on other sites, back when I was venturing outside of Shenmo novel booksphere and into IRL folk religions + general mythos, but had rarely found satisfying answers.

As such, this is my attempt at writing something past me will find useful.

(Built into it is the assumption that you can read Chinese, which I only realized after writing the post. I try to amend for it by adding links to existing translations, as well as links to digitalized Chinese versions when there doesn't seem to be one.)

The thing about all mythologies and legends is that they are 1) complicated, and 2) are products of their times. As such, it is very important to specify the "when" and "wheres" and "what are you looking for" when answering a question as broad as this.

-Do you want one or more "books with an overarching story"?

In that case, Journey to the West and Investiture of the Gods (Fengshen Yanyi) serve as good starting points, made more accessible for general readers by the fact that they both had English translations——Anthony C. Yu's JTTW translation is very good, Gu Zhizhong's FSYY one, not so much.

Crucially, they are both Ming vernacular novels. Though they are fictional works that are not on the same level of "seriousness" as actual religious scriptures, these books still took inspiration from the popular religion of their times, at a point where the blending of the Three Teachings (Buddhism, Daoism, Confucianism) had become truly mainstream.

And for FSYY specifically, the book had a huge influence on subsequent popular worship because of its "pantheon-building" aspect, to the point of some Daoists actually putting characters from the novel into their temples.

(Vernacular novels + operas being a medium for the spread of popular worship and popular fictional characters eventually being worshipped IRL is a thing in Ming-Qing China. Meir Shahar has a paper that goes into detail about the relationship between the two.)

After that, if you want to read other Shenmo novels, works that are much less well-written but may be more reflective of Ming folk religions at the time, check out Journey to the North/South/East (named as such bc of what basically amounted to a Ming print house marketing strategy) too.

-Do you want to know about the priestly Daoist side of things, the "how the deities are organized and worshipped in a somewhat more formal setting" vs "how the stories are told"?

Though I won't recommend diving straight into the entire Daozang or Yunji Qiqian or some other books compiled in the Daoist text collections, I can think of a few "list of gods/immortals" type works, like Liexian Zhuan and Zhenling Weiye Tu.

Also, though it is much closer to the folk religion side than the organized Daoist side, the Yuan-Ming era Grand Compendium of the Three Religions' Deities, aka Sanjiao Soushen Daquan, is invaluable in understanding the origins and evolutions of certain popular deities.

(A quirk of historical Daoist scriptures is that they often come up with giant lists of gods that have never appeared in other prior texts, or enjoy any actual worship in temples.)

(The "organized/folk" divide is itself a dubious one, seeing how both state religion and "priestly" Daoism had channels to incorporate popular deities and practices into their systems. But if you are just looking at written materials, I feel like there is still a noticeable difference.)

Lastly, if you want to know more about Daoist immortal-hood and how to attain it: Ge Hong's Baopuzi (N & S. dynasty) and Zhonglv Chuandao Ji (late Tang/Five Dynasties) are both texts about external and internal alchemy with English translations.

-Do you want something older, more ancient, from Warring States and Qin-Han Era China?

Classics of Mountains and Seas, aka Shanhai Jing, is the way to go. It also reads like a bestiary-slash-fantastical cookbook, full of strange beasts, plants, kingdoms of unusual humanoids, and the occasional half-man, half-beast gods.

A later work, the Han-dynasty Huai Nan Zi, is an even denser read, being a collection of essays, but it's also where a lot of ancient legends like "Nvwa patches the sky" and "Chang'e steals the elixir of immortality" can be first found in bits and pieces.

Shenyi Jing might or might not be a Northern-Southern dynasties work masquerading as a Han one. It was written in a style that emulated the Classics of Mountains and Seas, and had some neat fantastic beasts and additional descriptions of gods/beasts mentioned in the previous 2 works.

-Do you have too much time on your hands, a willingness to get through lot of classical Chinese, and an obsession over yaoguais and ghosts?

Then it's time to flip open the encyclopedic folklore compendiums——Soushen Ji (N/S dynasty), You Yang Za Zu (Tang), Taiping Guangji (early Song), Yijian Zhi (Southern Song)...

Okay, to be honest, you probably can't read all of them from start to finish. I can't either. These aren't purely folklore compendiums, but giant encyclopedias collecting matters ranging from history and biography to medicine and geography, with specific sections on yaoguais, ghosts and "strange things that happened to someone".

As such, I recommend you only check the relevant sections and use the Full Text Search function well.

Pu Songling's Strange Tales from a Chinese Studios, aka Liaozhai Zhiyi, is in a similar vein, but a lot more entertaining and readable. Together with Yuewei Caotang Biji and Zi Buyu, they formed the "Big Three" of Qing dynasty folktale compendiums, all of which featured a lot of stories about fox spirits and ghosts.

Lastly...

The Yuan-Ming Zajus (a sort of folk opera) get an honorable mention. Apart from JTTW Zaju, an early, pre-novel version of the story that has very different characterization of SWK, there are also a few plays centered around Erlang (specifically, Zhao Erlang) and Nezha, such as "Erlang Drunkenly Shot the Demon-locking Mirror". Sadly, none of these had an English translation.

Because of the fragmented nature of Chinese mythos, you can always find some tidbits scattered inside history books like Zuo Zhuan or poetry collections like Qu Yuan's Chuci. Since they aren't really about mythology overall and are too numerous to cite, I do not include them in this post, but if you wanna go down even deeper in this already gigantic rabbit hole, it's a good thing to keep in mind.

[a2zillustration]

Remember black friday? It's still happening in this house.

✨OOPS IT'S BLACK FRIDAY ✨

Everything in my store is half off until the end of the year (with the code at checkout)! I have prints! Stickers! Charms! Buttons! Lanyards! And a lot of those things are ALREADY ON SALE! HALF-OFF THE SALE PRICE!!

✨✨✨✨VISIT MY SHOP HERE!!!!!!!!✨✨✨✨

[bonus-links]

Ahem, if I may impose.... Directors commentary?? 😁😁

YEAHHH lots to say abt this one

i know rule number one is don't point out the flaws in ur own work but i have to confess. i forgot to add hair highlights to this entire update. i didn't realize until i had already queued up the posts and i could not bear re-exporting and color correcting every page again. so i just let it be. it only kills me a little bit. they rlly add something y'know

i haven't seen a whole lot of comments about this to the point i worry i didn't do a good job of conveying it so: Loft's dream at the beginning is about ganondorf.

Loft has, in fact, chewed his nails to bits.

i'm gonna be so real, part of the delay for this update was bc my brain got so stuck on the logistics of where that damn bookshelf would go

korok bookends :D

i like to think the story of the hero of time is actually mostly an oral tradition on Outset, or at least that's how Gran Gran first told Link and Aryll the stories when they were children.

i worry a little bit about these 'lore recap" updates, bc like. I'm assuming you've played the games, or at least know the gist. but I feel like there's a few stories it's important for us to see Loft's direct reactions to, and the conclusions he draws from them, because it'll be important to his actions later. I try to make up for it by at least making these sections visually interesting HAHA i think this is the last major one though

on that note: I hope this comes across on its own, but Loft finishes Gran Gran's story himself because he's just realized the flood was sent by the gods, and not some external force of evil. he's also realizing that this is not the first time the gods have been willing to wipe the slate clean in the absence of a hero, and that it's actually something of a pattern. it runs up against his idea of how Demise's curse is meant to work. this is one such mystery mouseketool we'll use later.

also on that note: regardless of ganondorf's actions, i find it significant that the gods chose to destroy a man whose people suffered in a droughted desert with,,,,a flood. that thought was the conceit for this update

Loft has seen this play out in his dreams, but obviously doesn't fully know the context. also I'm gonna refer to this version of zelda as Sheik. he uses he/him pronouns thank you :-)

just wanted to show some closeups of the stained glass bc. i worked hard on them HAHA + the grayscale wip

i was really hoping this chapter would be done. last year. it was meant to be a chance to slow down for a second before the plot speeds up 😅 but we're nearing the last few updates!! thank you all for bearing with me <3 life has been kind of insane and extremely discouraging irl, so getting to post these updates and seeing you all enjoy them has been a real bright spot <333 special thank you to my patreon supporters bc. seriously it has helped more than you know.

i think that's all ive got for now! see you next time, hopefully sooner than 4-5 business months

[kiruliom]

how to load psds on ibispaint!

this was made with coiners in mind but will work with p much every psd so no worries if you wanna use a base or a sticker pack in a psd file (note, since its important, psd files meant to change the color of an image only load as intended through photoshop and photopea, so youll need either of that for them, not any other drawing programs.)

first of all: where to find files?

honestly, there isnt a clear answer. you can find some for most of them through just seeing if the coiner has linked any. most of them will be linked through file hosting sites, most common is drive or deviant art, but I used catbox for a while then switched to filegarden personally. the user @daybreakthing has took upon solself to turn a lot of more complex flags into psd files, so you can find a lot of them on sols old and current deviantart page (linked in their pinned)

the only downside for deviantart is you HAVE to log in to download the files. it is free however and you dont have to do much else.

for this tut Ill be using the nonhuman x for x flag psd by daybreakthing, (coined by sol as well, on melabea)

^^^ this guy

now onto the actual tutorial:

youre here likely because you already tried it, but its good to go over what not to do, and the results, anyway.

if you try to open it like a regular file, you will get errors, often more than one.

its important to note that psd files, while still considered image files, have no previews (except on drive) so they will look blank or empty. no worries about that, they will load properly.

here is what to do (or what I do, anyway)

go to your gallery, google photos, or another file manager (like just files or an external file manager)

Im using google photos bc my device's gallery wont let me share psd files

select the image, go to 'share', and pick ibispaint. theres a chance it wont pop up in the first screen, so just press the more option.

if ibispaint is not an option, try another image or file manager!

it will ask if you want to convert the file to ipv, select yes!

and thats all!! if all goes well it should be in your gallery when you open ibispaint. keep in mind it may crash once or twice when you first try to open it, just clear your app history cache thing and try again! (ibis paint is held together by duct tape and prayers)

I hope that helps!! if you have questions or problems, never be afraid to ask, I love to help!

tagging @idwl since their anon had a question related to this and I was directed to, to help :3

sorry about the amount of clutter with the red arrow and circles and pixelated stuff, I wanna obscure irrelevant or personal stuff while making sure people dont miss anything important.

[the-moon-files]

The Chain being Down Bad🐕‍🦺™️ for Your Voice lol (Masc!Reader)

(Content under ✄----- )

@peepthatbish once again, our lovely muse peep (name twins!!) Has come to bless me, and hopefully i did that gorgeous idea justice, and dw im not done writing them all out yet :)

<333

Sun: Masculine Reader (he/him)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: a dash of everybody <3

(except rare ones like Fierce/Koridai/Courage/Sage/etc.)

☆

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: fluff & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if i missed any. /gen

Ok but like

Ur voice is absolutely iconic to them

(Like the fairy fountain theme or the appearance of the Master sword, its unimaginable to them for your to not sound like that)

And its not only the heroes of Hyrule, but anyone else who could hear you

Well it helps that it used to be ur only sort of external sign of presence to outsiders

(the Links could also somewhat "feel" you in their own chests sometimes, like when u were stressed over a boss, or sad over a cutscene)

The only others who usually hear you are mostly things like the Great Fairies, the Deku Tree, other weird ass beings that know way too much (Fierce Deity)

So needless to say, when u first crash landed thru a portal into Wild's Hyrule (ur latest Zelda game you've played u guess thats why)

And the Chain had seen u in the distance, met up with you to try and help what they thought was some poor guy who accidentally fell thru Hylia's portals

But as they heard u stutter thru an introduction, instead they knew immediately it was you

Sky and Twi seriously teared up, Hyrule/Wild/Four/Wind all attacked you with a hug and excited shrieking, Legend and Wars were just gaping in shock, and Time was just staring at you

It took you a minute to pinpoint who was from what game, but as soon as you figured it out u literally jaw dropped at Time/Wild/Twi/etc.

(The ones that look different from their in game model or way better irl than graphics could ever capture)

U also may have screamed. A very manly scream. Not high pitched at all. You didnt make Legend cover his ears or the four that tackled u scramble off in fear, what- haha

(U cant blame urself, u were in literal shock, bc that's ALL the LINKS??!! Like u needed a shock blanket like rescue/ambulances gives ppl)

After calming down, it wasnt even an outright discussion or decision u could rlly choose,

They were basically kidnapping u along for the ride, also u were there for them (in pretty voice alone but still) for all their adventures,

So u even suggesting leaving u behind bc u couldnt keep up as well as them had them looking at you like they never even considered it

(And also making them individually go thru the 5 stages of grief: 😨😟😡😭🥺🙏🙏 they were all outright begging u, in their own ways, deadass by the end of it)

So as u travel, you get to understand the full impact of Your Voice, or the Guide's Voice™️.

If anyone has a nightmare, what would normally take another hero poking them with a stick and dodging the reflex punch, or them waking up unable to go back to sleep after having the nightmare, etc.

U quickly realized only took you talking to comfort them, with no reflex punch when they woke up, if they woke up, sometimes u were so good at it the nightmare just cleared ended according to their face

In your first battle against the shadow, along with lots of black-blooded monsters, u realized how much more confidently every Link fought as soon as you were speaking from behind them

They got even better and less stressed abt fighting when u managed to crack a few jokes or go toe to toe verbally with the Shadow lol

Legend outright guffawed when you pulled a dumb "sigh... well i guess... maybe... ur mom." joke in response to his villain monologue, like wiping a tear and everything, saying "u used to say that all the time after dumb long evil speeches, its a fucking classic" 💀

Literally will have them asking you to make more jokes bc it makes them feel better in tense situations/battles (most to least frequently: Sky, Wild, Hyrule, Wind, Twi, Time, Wars, Legend, Four) but they love it equally

Okay but,

U have Definitely. Sent chills down their spines when u get into lower ranges lol

U dont understand why everyone needs to talk to you so bad first thing in the morning,

or alternatively why they keep wanting you to go on a rant abt ur fav book/tv show/thing either???

U are always the last for story time at the campfire every night, and unlike the others, they refuse to let you take a night off, u have to say smth every night??

It amazes u they like ur voice so much, huh, Wild/Twi/Wars/Four/Hyrule must all be getting a little too close to the fire, theyre faces are looking a little red/pink

(Legend and Time just look rlly pleased/happy to be here, they only ever look a little overheated when u specifically look at them while ur talking/or tell a story abt them, and they usually are always the ones asking u another question to prompt u to keep going forever)

Wars may or may not have a life changing moment he told u abt ur voice on his adventures where Cia was like, "Ah Link... let me get a good look at you..."

Link: 😰🤢🥲

You: "... and girl, I am only looking at your tiddies right now."

If Wars had smth to drink right then he wouldve spit-taked.

It was like the one time he was caught so genuinely off-guard, and u just made him suddenly feel 10x more comfortable facing her, he literally couldnt keep his knight trained composure together, he had to lean on his knees he was crying with laughter

That was the first Cia heard of you too and she literally audibly gasped lmao

It was like all of a sudden Wars and Cia had been in on a joke no one else could hear around them (Shiek/Zelda is confused to this day by that)

And there are countless moments like this from each of their adventures where u did this, u cant help but feel mildly embarassed when u hear it at first

But then seeing how much ur voice and comments meant to them and how happy it made them u can help but want to talk more and more and more

Youve never felt more comfortable talking to this many people in ur entire life,

Bc u can literally see their elf ears twitching cutely when they pick up ur voice

BEST BELIEEEVVEEEE

u arent getting out of singing to them.

Yeah, sorry, theyve heard u sing ur fav songs while gaming too many times, they need to hear u sing irl, Now.

Most of them ignore or sort of passively enjoy bards/musicians on their journeys, but as soon as u so much as hum-

Its like they're all clambering to get closer to hear u, but also not make u aware thats what theyre doing, so they end up just:

Four/Legend/Hyrule trying to hide behind various (upside down) books, behind plants that're not that bushy, or one memorable time, when u sang "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" quietly to urself, a bard's tune got close and reminded u of it,

and Four fully threw his hammer on his toes bc he was so shocked/lovestruck, he completely missed the anvil and just threw it at the ground/his feet LMAO

Time and Wars, cheeky strategists they are, immediately fall back behind u wherever u are, so u cant see them, but they can still hear u lol

(Theyre the only ones youve not caught actively listening/straining to come closer to hear u... bc theyre behind u lol)

Wild/Sky/Twi all fully whip their heads around fast enough to crack it, then clumsily try to recover so u wont stop

Wild/Sky just fully accidentally like fall into lakes/ponds trying to stay just out of range or even (they both tried it once, and never again after u got onto them) got on a rooftop

And fell. When u got quieter they tried to get closer and- yep.

(Idiots were fine and smiling when u came to check on them)

Twilight.

Twilight's the worst ngl.

Just fully stares in awe at you until u stop out of embarassment, and has had the audacity multiple times to pop up as Wolfie and just happily listen like you havent also been thru the adventure that literally made him a werewolf

Wind is a cutie, he always joins in, esp when he recognizes the song, and since they can somehow remember the songs u sang while gaming, it will never not be a core memory for you to sing "Drunken Sailor" back to back with "I LOVE YOU HOE" by ODETARI (ft.9lives)

with Wind Waker Link.

You nearly died when you heard him singing the chorus, like literally right after drunken sailor 💀

(Its catchy u got it stuck in ur head from tiktok audios)

(Wind absolutely makes fun of the others for being in love with ur voice, like he'll trick u into ranting abt smth late at night when ur voice is husky or ur just low energy atm, and then from behind you just mouth at the rest of them, sitting looking up at you like ur an angel,

G A Y Y Y Y 🫵🫵🫵 )

☆

Sorry to anyone whose sent in stuff to my mailbox! I promise ill answer u tomorrow!!

Im acc running another blog for a diff fandom and i got busy today :/

BUT THANK U SM AND I LOVE YOU TO ANYONE WHO SENT STUFF IN !! <3333

Like, i would write a fic for u tysm for showing me ur interest bc it feels like tumbleweeds are blowing thru LU fandom when i check the tags 💀

Which isnt awful! I just like hearing feedback from ppl or just talking abt LU and stuff :)

Peace out,

🌙

[ineffablejackass]

Alright I'm gonna try my hand at explaining a couple tmagp theories I got hanging around in my head

First, the Archivist isn't Jon, at least not fully. I think in mag 200 when all the fears were implied to have moved on to another world/dimension/universe/whatever, and (seemingly) took Jon and Martin (and quite possibly Jonah Magnus) along with them, the Eye part of Jon split off from him, Steven Universe style if you will. I think the reason it's one of the least human externals we've seen so far is because it took Jon's human-ness with it (something something about Jon being inextricably linked to the Eye bc he kinda sorta helped it win the last time around).

Which brings me to my second theory..

I don't think the fears are the same at all in tmagp compared to tma. BUT I think the Eye might be the same, maybe even the only surviving from the fears' last iteration in tma (bc it won the last time around maybe the Archivist wasn't subject to the same change). I think when they shoved off to a different world, all the fears, except for the Archivist, changed in some way. I feel in tmagp they aren't operating on the same rules as they were in tma, one main factor has changed, they aren't feeding specifically on fear. I think they're feeding on desire and obsession. Many of the episodes we've seen in tmagp so far deal with a want of some kind that goes too far, a few cases that come to mind are Ink5oul (wanted fame), the painter lady that fucked herself up (wanted to be beautiful/perfect) and the scientist guy that made some dude's skull explode (desire for knowledge, maybe related to whatever the Eye is now). And I think it just makes sense for Johnny to flip the fear thing on its head for this series to change things up, if so, good on him and Alex bc that's a fucking genius way of exploring the same ideas but in a different vein. And if not, still good on him, Alex, the rusty quill team, and the guest writers because this series is awesome so far

Anyway those are my thoughts, I'd love to hear what others think! :)

edit: also sorry that some of this theory-dump is worded weirdly, I typed this up kinda late at night so my brain was not up to proper working capacity lol

[2tarbell]

hiii so i had like 2 kinda unorganized + somewhat unrelated thoughts about the sneaky link au that simply won’t leave my brain rn, i’m gonna put them in separate asks though so they can each be like their own thing / have room to breathe / be slightly more organized than they were in my brain snznns:

so we all know rafe is soo in love with pogue reader + wants her all to himself, but in this it kinda seems like she might want that too,, so this made me wonder does she ever try to like actually do something like break up with jj? like she might not tell him everything bc i get the vibe that she’s the non confrontational type, but like i’m just so curious how she gets herself out of that sticky situation she finds herself in...

pogue!reader is soooooo non confrontational! like it pains rafe to see it. ‘cause at this point, he wants her but is still keeping it close to his chest. of course he wouldn’t say anything or let anyone in on their little affair because it would upset her. but he uses it as leverage against jj. something like “i jus’ know i could show her a better time, maybank.”

and all it remains is that shit talking done in passing, rafe isn’t about to ruin this one good thing he has. so he takes it slow with her, savoring all the moments she’s his and daydreaming about walking into a party with her on his arm, instead of tucked into jj’s side. he’d never tell her that, though.

so, they’re just playing the part of casual sex, nevermind the fact he’s constantly imagining her little smiles and random moments where he swears he can smell her perfume.

pogue!reader is definitely feeling the heat too. what once was just a physical craving and release that she wasn’t getting from her official boyfriend has since turned into imagining waking up next to rafe, going on dates with rafe, a future with rafe.

i like to imagine she wears all her emotions on her sleeve, so jj knows something is up. she almost wants to laugh and scream when he finally starts paying actual attention to her again. it’s bittersweet, and she reminisces on the beginning of this relationship. but pogue!reader knows that’s long gone and she’s dug herself a deep, deep grave.

but she can’t bring herself to pull the plug, because she’s scared of what that might mean. she’s not ready to risk it all, especially when rafe hasn’t even said anything about real feelings. she only assumes this ache in her chest is a manifestation of her regret and guilt for doing this to jj (girl it’s not!) and she’s just waiting for him to either break up with her or say something about it :( (or maybe for rafe to prove her wild thoughts true. either way, she needs an external factor to make a change)

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

Commissions Open!

Making a new post since I have better art now 👍

Hello little gay people in my phone. You want me to draw your ocs So Bad 👀

PENCIL SKETCH/LINEART: starts at $7 for a half to full body on a blank background, with options to add on extra characters, simple colors, or a physical copy (pencil sketch only)

BLORBO DOODLE/MEME REDRAW: starting at $13 for a simple drawing with full color and light shading. Doodle poses are half to full body at my discretion, and meme redraws include up to two characters in the base pricing.

REGULAR COMMISSION: starts at $25 for exactly what it says on the tin, with add-ons available for extra characters and detailed background

FULL SHEET: starts at $65 for up to six drawings (ie. outfit refs, story progression, character interactions, au moodboard, etc). Mostly full body, fully colored and shaded, with minimal background.

Will Do:

Ocs, fandom, real people (as long as they’re okay with it), ships (poly or otherwise), gore (external), dragons

Will Do My Best With Limited Experience:

furries/anthro, gore (internal), suggestive/nsfw, animals besides dragons, mecha/armor (I’ve done transformers but that’s about it)

All pricing is negotiable, especially if you’re looking for something that’s not necessarily within any of these categories! Get in touch and we can work something out. :)

My Ko-Fi (as linked above and again here) is the best way to purchase a commission, but I can also take payment through Venmo or PayPal! (just dm me for those bc deadname lmao)

[tenthgrove]

Reverse Engineering the OIAR Tagging System: Part 2

I've had another look at things and I have managed to create a more concrete theory for how the tags work, though at this stage I would be very surprised if it were all correct.

A reminder for the unfamiliar- every TMAGP statement comes with a long code, consisting of a CAT (category?), R (rank? - two statements do not have this), a four digit number which seems to be totally random, and the dates of both the statement's origin, and when the episode is set.

I've created this theory by identifying patterns between the CAT and R values and the themes, characters and dates of the statements. It is clear we need some more statements to be sure, so I will update this as new episodes come in. That said, here is my theory.

CAT = Is the Monster an External and/or Being Actively Taken Advantage of by the OIAR?

CAT 1 = Yes. CAT 2 = No, but there are plans to acquire it. CAT 3 = No, and there are no plans to acquire it. CAT 23 = The monster possesses some special quality which the OIAR would like to take advantage of, but currently has no means to do this (hence making it both a CAT 2 and 3 in a sense).

Our only confirmed external, Mr Bonzo, is a CAT 1. The two other CAT 1s are monsters that could very well function as OIAR assassins. Granted, Needles seems to be killing for his own pleasure and seems very ‘green’. BUT- how in the living hell did he murder a man on the streets of London and it wasn’t national news? Maybe, just maybe, Needles was recruited as a result of that incident and the OIAR pulled strings to clean up his mess. Additionally, two of the CAT 1s are delivered literally days before we learn of them. One is older but refers to Bonzo, who we know for a fact is still active. The other was delivered in May 2022. All these statements are live matters, referring to beings who are almost certainly still out there making body counts.

Moving down to the lower rankings, the current CAT 2s are plant guy, Vouyer, the charity shop volunteers and the backrooms service station. These are all statements that leave huge question marks. None of them are delivered by a primary source. They are all 1-15 year old statements. This could mean the OIAR is trying to locate the beings within the statement to potentially take advantage of them, but have not yet tracked them down.

The current CAT 3s are InkSoul, the violin guy, and the bone dice guy. Violin and dice guy are both dead, and the dice were presumably lost in the destruction of the Magnus Institute. It’s clear why the OIAR wouldn’t be interested in them. Now what about InkSoul? Well there are a number of reasons why the OIAR would not want to recruit them. Maybe their power is not reliable? After all, it seemed the effect they had on their victim in the statement was linked to her being an artist. Maybe they’ve already tried to recruit InkSoul and it didn’t go well. Or maybe InkSoul has become inactive since the statement in 2022.

Now, what about CAT 23? I’m really not sure about this one (there are only two CAT 23s so far, one of which is the Red Canary statement) so my theory here is a stand-in. I previously suggested CAT 23 could refer to dimensional cracks and it’s possible that is also the case. It could be that CAT 23 IS the ‘Magnus Protocol’, and that ‘Magnus’ doesn’t specifically mean ‘pertaining to the Magnus Institute’ but ‘pertaining to the Magnus Institute or similar known cracks in reality, of which the Magnus Institute is the one we know most about’. It could be that the OIAR has an active interest in manipulating dimensional cracks but hasn’t yet figured out how, and CAT 23 is created to reflect this.

R = How Useful is this Monster to the OIAR?

A = Frighteningly powerful, possibly equivalent in its impact to the rituals. AB = Between A and B value. B = Pretty useful, but not going to massively improve the OIAR's position by itself. BC = Between B and C value. C = Not especially useful for the OIAR's purposes. Unranked = Value either not investigated or pending investigation. We have no Rank As thus far, and the only rank AB, the Red Canary statement, is widely believed by fans to be the most crucial piece of the puzzle so far to the wider mystery. I believe the first rank A statement is going to be truly massive.

Current Rank Bs include Bonzo and Needles, as well as the bone dice and the Voyuer movie. Bonzo is a known OIAR assassin and as above, Needles very well could be/could become one if the OIAR wanted that for him. However, they can't exactly take down society. Equally, the dice and the movie have limitations that only allow them to target one person at a time - the dice only affect the person who rolls them and the movie relies on only having one audience member to customise itself for.

The Rank Cs are, so far, just the charity volunteers and the ship tattoo. I admit this may be the weakest part of the theory as it's not clear how these two are 'useless', especially if CAT 23 means what I theorise above. Maybe Rank Cs are useful to study but not important to the main goals of the OIAR, whatever they be.

The two unranked statements are the plant guy and the violin. The violin statement could be unranked because it is just that old, and the plant guy could be unranked for a number of reasons. Maybe he is CAT 2 because the OIAR want to study him, but they don't actually have a use for the anomaly that sired him.

Conclusion

As you can see there are various weaknesses to the theory and I would be very surprised if it turns out to be entirely right. The biggest gap right now is the rank C/unranked theories which are not entirely apparant why they're so low. If Protocol is anything like Archives, almost all these monsters will be revisited, so reasons for their placements could still be revealed to us. I am fairly certain the OIAR already knows more about most of them than is let on. I will revisit this theory as more information becomes known.

[alovesongtheywrote]

can we pleaseeee have a pt.2 to nightmare academia bc THOSE TWO HAVE SO MUCH TENSION???!!!!!

♥ Summary:  abso-fucking-lutely you can. here's reid's proper response to the typewriter incident(s) [Prof!Spencer Reid x GN-Prof!Reader]

♥ Warnings: discussions of sex, but no actual smut. arguing. spencer's a little mean, but shit, so's the reader. crim and psych facts. this is another 1000 words of the reader being a brat and reid losing his cool over it

♥ A/N: i still don't know when this is. if you have ideas, lmk, but again, im thinking it's right after s9.

♥ Word Count: 1646

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

Yeah, so, about three weeks later, your students started breaking down again. You had to wonder if Dr. Reid was actually some sort of closet sadist who enjoyed watching his students break down. You tried to shake that thought from your head. He had been an FBI agent, after all!

If he was a sadist, he wouldn’t have left the FBI.  

You reached your sobbing student quota of seven faster this time- though in at least one instance, the student apologized for Reid.

“He’s a good professor,” they said, curling up in a hard plastic chair that was not meant to be curled up in, “He’s just really bad at technology.”

You couldn’t help but agree. The students you had in common with Reid were incredibly insightful when they spoke in class- specifically on topics that the doctor would have touched on. Despite that, you could only have so many students come to you on the brink of collapse without doing something about it.

So. You brought the typewriter out again.

-

Spencer had tried to do the whole laptop thing. He really had. However, when the time came for one of his classes to submit an assignment, half of that class presented him with links to Google Documents that he couldn’t access. And this was after he requested PDFs!

After a weekend of writing emails, making repeated calls to Penelope Garcia, and lying facedown on the couch trying to fight off a migraine, Reid gave up on the technology thing. He banished laptops from his classroom once more. He told himself he just wouldn’t let the typewriter bother him. He wouldn’t let you bother him. At least, you wouldn’t bother him as much as emails did.

Then he got to class.

“So, when we look at externalizing disorders-”

Click, click, click, click, click.

“As the name would suggest-” 

Click, click, click, click, click.

“These are the issues that manifest externally-”

Click, click, click, click, click.

“Maladaptive behaviours caused by externalizing disorders impact the environment-”

Click, click, click, click, click.

“While internalizing disorders do not, generally, cause crime-”

Click, click, click, click, click.

“Externalizing disorders-”

Click, click, click, ding!

“Son of a bitch-!”

Reid’s students watched as their usually composed professor began to fray at the edges. His long fingers ran through his hair, messing up his already messy curls. He ignored the way some strands landed in front of his eyes- how could he pay attention to that? He was too focused on not screaming in frustration. Reid pulled off his cardigan almost forcefully and threw it on his chair. His body felt too warm, his skin a prison and his ribs a furnace. He crossed his arms, bringing one hand up to press his fingers against his brow.  

He stood like that for a few moments, catching his breath, reminding himself that he wasn’t supposed to let you get to him.  

When Spencer tried to profile you, he saw a respected professional who genuinely cared about their students- so much so that you went out of your way to interfere with his classroom policies. He didn’t know why you cared so much. Most professors wanted to see their students succeed to a degree, but you seemed to have it out for him, specifically.  

Maybe it was his anti-tech policies. Maybe it was just something about him.  Spencer knew he was a difficult person to be around. You wouldn’t be the first person who couldn’t stand him because of things that were just intrinsic parts of his being. You definitely wouldn’t be the first person to be annoyed by him. Whatever it was, he was going to figure it out- even if he had to return to your office to do it.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Returning to externalizing disorders-”

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. DING.

You were going to be the death of Spencer Reid.

-

That evening, you caught Reid just outside your office, typewriter held aloft in his arms. You didn’t try to get the door for him.

“Well, hello Doctor Reid! Is there anything I can help you with?”

Reid didn’t bother with pleasantries. He got right to the point, “Why are you doing this?”

You played dumb- it was one of your favourite things to play, “Whatever do you mean, Doctor? I’m just supplying my students with the tools they need to learn. Do you have a problem with that?”

Reid pulled his lips together and frowned. He looked a little bit like a frog- or perhaps a sad chipmunk. You refused to admit that the exasperated expression on his face was kind of cute.

“Don’t play dumb with me, I know you’re smarter than this. What could you possibly stand to gain from irritating me incessantly?”

“Why don’t you profile me about it, FBI guy?” you raised your eyebrows, very clearly mocking his previous line of work as you relaxed against the door.

“Okay,” Reid grit his teeth, re-adjusting his grip on the typewriter. If you wanted to play this game, he would play, “You’re irritating me out of a strange mix of genuine concern for your students, and what appears to be a desperate need for attention. Maybe your parents didn’t focus on you enough during your childhood. Maybe you feel inferior in your work, so you’re taking it out on me. Either way, it’s kind of sad.”

Your eyes narrowed. A vein in your jaw twitched. Your mouth turned downward into a scowl as you tried very hard to pretend that you didn’t feel just a little inferior in your work. And hey, even if you did, that had nothing to do with this. He was wrong- not entirely- but enough to keep you steady.  

You knew you were playing a dangerous game.

“For a profiler, that was a pretty shit assessment. What I stand to gain isn’t attention. If I wanted your attention, I would have it. What I gain is a student body that’s further than two inches from collapse,” you leaned back against the door again, keeping him out and forcing him to keep the typewriter in his arms.

“What about you, Doctor?” you hissed, “What could you possibly stand to gain from murdering your students by way of lead poisoning?”

“Lead hasn’t been used in the creation of pencils since 1978, and the amount of lead paint a person could ingest by chewing the paint off a pencil wouldn’t be lethal. Try harder.”

“‘Try harder,’ he tells me. Fine. You aren’t a sadist and you aren’t going for mass murder by way of pencil.  Maybe you’re just a huge asshole, but if you were, that reputation would precede you. I’m out of ideas, so just tell me.  Why stop with the tech? It looked like it was working.”

“It wasn’t, not that that’s your business,” Reid adjusted his stance, trying to take a defensive stance without dropping the typewriter, “And how do you know I’m not a sadist? That’s a pretty big inference considering we’ve only worked together for a few months.”

“If you were a sadist, you would’ve stayed in the position that gave you the most power over other people. University professor is not that position.”

Reid went silent for a second. Then, to your surprise, he gave you a straight answer, “The laptops worked until I assigned a paper. I received broken links, inaccessible files, and a migraine.”

You paused, squinting at him slightly, “It was Google Docs, wasn’t it? They all sent in links to Google Docs?”

Reid paused, tilting his head like a confused puppy. What a fucking asshole, looking so fucking adorable while being a huge dick. Maybe that was on you. You had to stop comparing him to cute things.

“How did you know?”

“Because college kids have the capacity for massive stupidity. Did you specify what format you wanted?”

“Of course I did, I’m a professional.”

“Uh-huh,” you didn’t seem to believe him, “Well, even if you did, some of your students are gonna fuck it up.”

“How?! I stated it multiple times-!”

“Well, forgive the rest of the world for not having IQs in the thousands and eidetic memories. Some of us forget things, Professor.”

“It’s 187.”

“Excuse me?”

“My IQ, it’s 18-”

“Anyone who actually tries to measure intelligence with IQ is fucking unintelligent, and not worth my time. Give me my typewriter and get out of my office.”

“We aren’t in your office.”

“Give me! My typewriter! And get out! Of my office!!”

When he still didn’t move, you seized the typewriter from him and hissed, “Out!! Away with you now!! Don’t make me bite you, because I swear to god-”

Reid put his hands up in surrender, stepping back and heading down the hallway. The second you were out of sight, he pulled out his phone. Emails were a no-go, but a call? That he could manage.

“Hey, Garcia? I need you to do a background check on someone for me… what? No, this isn’t about the PDFs! I need everything you have on Professor (Y/N) (L/N).”

-

Meanwhile, across town in a bar that just so happened to be very popular with college kids, a certain group of students sat.  This group had one major thing in common- they shared two specific professors.

“So, profs (L/N) and Reid are fucking, right?”

“If they aren’t already, they will be soon enough.  Did you see him lose it over the typewriter in class today?  He said an actual swear.  Fucking nuts.”

“That was kind of hot, I’ll be honest.”

“It was- but I’ll bet you anything that (L/N) tops.”

“You’re a degenerate.  I’ll bet ten on those odds.”

[falling-star-cygnus]

Link Click Noragami AU that doesn’t ~really~ follow any concrete storyline and instead is just anecdotes of Lu Guang’s yearning -> i've only seen the anime, and a the first volume of the manga, so i really just wanted to toy with the concept in a different pantheon instead of switching out characters

Cheng Xiaoshi is a camera named Shi Ái {尸爱} ↑ he functions a lot like a normal camera, but now he has a mixture of his power and Lu Guang's. Anybody they view under the lens is privy to what is, essentially, a background and stat check. -> They can also Rend in this form, though the process is a bit more complex bc Lu Guang isn't a fighter

Lu Guang was a human that ascended, and he became known as Siming {司命} ↑ he still goes by Lu Guang, and introduces himself as such to non-gods, in a sort of haphazard cling to his former life

Dead Link In Which Cheng Xiaoshi's Troubles Are Not Quite His Own

"....what are you doing?"

Ch- Shi Ái now, Lu Guang chides himself- startles straight.

"Lu Guang! I.. thought you were sleeping?"

"I was," he concedes, because there wasn't any point in lying [and because he missed his peaceful doze under the sun, damnit], "What's bothering you?"

He woke up for a reason, after all, to a sort of ache that went beyond the soreness of an odd sleeping position. It felt like something had coiled around the god's heart and squeezed until he was breathless. Like he was just inches from breaking through the water's surface but out of steam to breach it.

It was... an unfortunately common feeling with the shinki, Lu Guang had come to realize.

"Whaat? Nothing's bothering me, why- pff, why would you even... ask me that," ah.. a bad liar in every lifetime, "You're- crazy, Guangguang."

Lu Guang rubs his chest, in a vain attempt to relax the pinched muscles, and idles to his regalia's side.

"Shi Ái." the name felt weird on his tongue, but the only one that would feel right was one he could no longer use, "You're an idiot."

"What do y- OW!?"

Jeez...

Such a hard head.

Lu Guang shakes his hand out, his fingertips stinging from the rightfully deserved and delivered admonishment.

"I can feel every time you lie to me. And every time you're upset. Now we're even."

Maybe there was a nicer way to deliver that particular bit of mechanics, but the god couldn't bring himself to care at the moment. The sooner he knew what was bothering Shi Ái, the sooner he could fix it.

It wasn’t about nipping the ache, or cleansing any blight that might form, he didn’t care about that. As uncomfortable as it was, Lu Guang’s top priority would always be Che- Shi Ái.

He’d endure the sting for a thousand lifetimes if it meant keeping his shinki close.

“You can WHAT!?”

Ah… maybe he’d be a bit gentler in his next explanation though. Hands, still calloused in his rebirth, gently cup the sides of the god's jaw. They tilt his head from side, searching for any visible sign of pain.

"Ahh, I'm so sorry, Lu Guang!" Shi Ái babbles, looking distraught at the mere idea, "I didn't know- how do I- can- mph?"

Lu Guang covers his mouth with a sigh.

"You won't find anything external," his hand drifts down to rest upon his regalia's silent heart, "It's more.. here. Which is how I know something is wrong."

Though Shi Ái's heart didn't beat anymore, his body was still... warm. It was comforting, a balm on his fraying mind when he feels the rise and fall of useless breaths, but Lu Guang forces his hand to fall away after tapping twice. He couldn't- didn't deserve that.

"Though that mopey look on your face would give you away anyway."

"WH- I'm not mopey. It's just..."

Lu Guang waits, unconsciously leaning into Shi Ái's palm.

"They really... can't- see us."

The world filters in, busy and loud and bustling as people shove over each other and break the peaceful bubble that had surrounded the two. Or maybe it was only peaceful for Lu Guang, who had grown use to being an afterimage after so many years.

Despite the clogged streets not one stray shoulder or foot hits them.

Shi Ái's hands fall away- straightening out his god's collar on the way down.

"Can they?"

"People like us.." gentle, Lu Guang reminds himself, gentle, "..can no longer join the mortal world."

He expects it when his shinki's shoulder to droop, but it still hurts to watch. Before Ch- Shi Ái, damnit, it's Shi Ái now, before he can voice whatever resigned acceptance is on the tip of his tongue- Lu Guang continues;

"But that doesn't mean we're isolated from it."

Lu Guang shouldn't be doing this...

"Whatever you want to see," he really, really shouldn't be doing this, "Just tell me."

But oh... the god would do anything to preserve that light in his regalia's eyes. Anything at all, just to see the way his face softened with such a bright grin.

Shi Ái's hands find Lu Guang's, and squeeze tight. The pinch that had plagued the god's chest loosens.

"Lu Guang... you're really secretly a sap, aren't you? OW HEY- STOP HITTING ME-"

At least he was feeling better.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

are there many shapeshifty guys in medieval irish lit and if so who is your favorite one? (I mean, besides the one your blog is named after, I know about that guy and his funky transformations, I just do not know much about other shapeshifty guys that aren’t french/english/welsh/norse)

the morrígan is probably the most notorious shapeshifter in the texts i look at: she often turns into a crow but also at one point in the táin is an eel, a heifer, and a wolf, just to fuck with cú chulainn. sometimes her transformations are definitely physical and sometimes they seem more illusory. some of them it's not clear if it's actually her or just a bird lol, that always cracks me up

we also have of course our bird men in togail bruidne da derga, where it is deeply unclear whether they are birds who can be people or people who can be birds. one of them is called nemglán, he heads up the "bird troop". (this story is the basis of my stupid bird dad support group yonec crossover fic lol.) birds in general are often connected to the otherworld and we have quite a lot of birds that are transformed people, often recognisable because they will be wearing or linked to another bird with a fine chain. in some later texts like oidheadh chloinne lir you also get people turned into birds by external forces

sometimes birds are also angels, or the souls of the dead, so people die and then their soul shows up as a bird – this is mostly in voyage tales. voyage tales in general get fucky with shape and form

there are some sort-of werewolves in acallam na senorach who transform with the help of cloaks – it's sort of the reverse of bisclavret bc they put the magic cloaks on and become wolves, rather than becoming them when they take clothes off

then you get the ageless immortal shapeshifters like tuan and fintan where it seems to be more of a reincarnation thing that they have been different animals in different lives and can remember the early days of the world as a result. similarly there's a story in which the two bulls in the táin have been lots of different creatures in the past, going all the way back to two swineherds

so yeah quite a lot of shapeshifting going on! this is a deeply non exhaustive list as well, this is just the ones i immediately recall off the top of my head and doesn't include most involuntary transformations (e.g. etaine and others). finn's wife was also a deer part-time, that's why oisín is called that, but i think that was a spell too not an inborn thing

i would say the morrígan is probably my favourite (if "guy" is gender neutral lol) but also i do enjoy the sheer ??? of everything going down in TBDD with the birdmen, nemglán etc because truly they explain nothing

[icecreampizzer]

On that ref grind, you know how it is with AF approaching and all. Here's the 2nd group from LOATM: The LOVECORP guys! They can get a bit silly sometimes. I've set up their profiles already but I still need to add more info on it.. Not gonna link it though bc for some reason tumblr's destroying external links by adding href li shit on the front of it. Like what