#bc its how i feel whenever i look at soldier

[darkcloudsatnight]

LMAOOOOOOO YESSSSSSSSSSSS

I HAVE DONE IT! SEXY SWIMASS PHOTO OF HUSBAND!

[jaggedamethyst]

trying...

pairing: bucky x reader (non gender specified)

content: bucky is dealing with trauma as a result of his time as the winter soldier, you accidentally get caught in the crossfire. (references to physical harm, mentions of violence, inferred ptsd symptoms and trauma, etc). also slight stucky if you squint bc i know theres fans out there.

notes: ive thought about trying to put this into words for so long, i hope it translates well. i may do a part two if the people want it. pls read the content warning above and steer away if this may trigger you.

word count: 1.8k

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

In recovering from the absolute torture that was Bucky’s life the last few years—there were few moments of solace. The worst being the slight feeling of peace before all of his progress abruptly drained back to zero… before he’d been reminded of a trigger. 

Something would suddenly pop into his brain—betraying him—and he’d be forced to physically and metaphorically swat the idea away. The problem, though, was that this soldier was doing what any good one does, fighting. James Buchanan Barnes knew what it was to be a good man, a good soldier. But the Winter was more formidable than ever. 

Whenever the opportunity presented itself, the assassin had to make an attempt at clawing its way out. 

The attempts weren’t infrequent. 

Bucky would sit by the window, unable to sleep. He would often be forced to watch the sunrise. Daybreak. He’d long committed the color of the sun meeting the skyline to his memory and with it the unfortunate feeling of his companion wanting to make an appearance. 

Whenever he’d volunteer to build something. The screws, bolts, and nails would be shiny enough to reflect Bucky’s face back to him. An image he’d hate to observe, of course. All he could see in them was potential, though. Positive connotations escaped him in this instance because all he could see was an opportunity for destruction…natural wear and tear…oxidation. Like him, these pieces of metal existing just meant that there was a chance to become worn. To decay. To become something bad…rusted. 

Numbers were the hardest to avoid and he realized just how often something can torment you when it becomes a thing you hate. One, nine, seventeen. Nine, seventeen, one. Seventeen, one, nine. In any order or occurrence these numbers seemed to follow him as close as his shadow—if not more so. He’d become particularly hateful towards one. The casual “one second,” “one moment,” and “I’ll call you back in one minute” seemed to linger in his brain for far too long. 

Freight car. Attempts to get out more proved futile. No matter how far he tried to get away, the sound of rumbling would fill his ears. He knew the sound too well. Bucky knew the feeling of air leaving your lungs. He’d grown accustomed to the feeling of falling. He felt it every day. 

The thing about falling is that when it occurs for long enough it almost feels normal. That slight weightless feeling and euphoria tricked Bucky the first time it happened. That was until he hit the ground. In experiencing one or more of his triggers every day, the feeling of weightlessness returned—so consistent that in a weird way, Bucky felt as if he’d won. He could no longer be shocked by the initial stomach drop if he continued to propel towards something nonexistent. He could no longer be surprised by the euphoria if the impact never came…if he never hit the ground. To him, if it happened so frequently that you were no longer taken aback, you’d beaten your triggers right? 

He couldn’t be more wrong. He was terribly so. 

If there was one thing Bucky learned and ignored in his various therapy sessions is that acting like something isn’t there is not…ideal. Having this being claw and tear at him left him with metaphorical lesions that he wasn’t tending to. People tried. There was never an interaction for which Steve wasn’t looking at his best friend with longing. Longing for the stoic and confident man he once knew. This person was a shell. Even with all the progress, he would never forget the one person he had left seeing him as nothing more than a mission. One only wonders how he’d feel to know that Bucky sees every day as one, a mission, an attempt to not crash the fuck out. (That was something new he learned, suited him for sure).

Again, people tried. Without even realizing it, you tried. 

The day you met Bucky, he just seemed grumpy to you. “Valid,” you’d thought with a shrug. There wasn’t really much to not be grumpy about these days. Yet, you flashed him a smile that warmed his insides—and not in the usual evil entity trying to escape way. 

In the darkest of days inside his mind, he found something to aspire towards just knowing you walked this planet. 

You’d known each other for a while before it became anything serious; he was reasonably weary of getting close to anyone for fear of dragging them down with him. But, he promised he’d never hurt you—every time he uttered the phrase in passing you shrugged him off, reassuring him that you knew. 

“James, we both know you wouldn’t hurt a bee—“ you stopped to point to him, his brow arched as you knew it’d be. “And I know that's not the phrase, okay! You’re an old man and you know all the platitudes.” 

Bucky stood to meet you in the center of your shared apartment, “what does that have to do with you saying the phrase wrong?”

“My point,” you said, tapping his nose for emphasis, “is as I said.” You snaked your arms around him, “you wouldn’t hurt a bee.” You locked eyes with him, “because even if a bee was attacking you, swarming all around you, and wanting to hurt you…you still wouldn’t hurt it. You wouldn’t swat your hand or anything. Some may say that's just stupid…but I think it pretty much sums up the person you are. I know that. You know that.” 

You pecked his lips and walked away. 

Bucky was left speechless and almost teary-eyed by your analogy. But that was you, trying…without trying. He owed it to you to try, too. 

The thing about that is, there was still so much for him to uncover. He had fallen for so long, he knew that. He’d been traumatized for so long without saying anything. 

He had nightmares that only went away when he stopped sleeping altogether. It had been so long since he truly rested that he let himself forget about that inconvenience.

Tonight, he decided, was the night he would face his fears by being well-rested to take on the next day. He mumbled to himself, “One day at a time, right?” He slipped into bed with an excitement he hadn’t really expected. It wasn’t long before sleep overtook him. 

_______________________

He woke suddenly to screams. A woman? The high-pitched and erratic yells made his head hurt worse than he’d ever experienced. 

“What the hell is happening?” 

He turned in bed to see you not there, which immediately made him spring into action. Calling your name and getting no response anywhere in the apartment was enough to make him want to cry. But the screams. They were coming from outside, not in. 

He looked out the window to see if he could see what was going on and oh my gosh. 

With no shoes, he ran. He felt as if the stairway was endless. The pain of the asphalt was nothing in comparison to the pit in his stomach as he ran directly towards it. Towards your car wrecked. Completely wrapped around a tree. How could this happen? The one time he’d gone to sleep. 

Nobody was helping you. Your car literally sitting with you inside motionless. There was no time to think, he ripped the door off. He reached for you, pulling you from the car. He knew CPR but everything was escaping him, it seemed. 

He pleaded and yelled for someone to help, realizing that your body was much more limp and cold than ideal right now. He repeated “no” more times than he’d ever in his life. He clung to you, squeezing you, praying for a miracle. But there was nobody. He clawed at anything; your clothes quickly became battered. He was so confused. His head met your chest, his attempt at trying to wish you back to life. Back to him. But the look in your eyes was so—wait. Not your eyes…

The “no, no, no” repeated again, without him even trying. He felt a scratching at him. A darkness enveloped him and his surroundings and his hand…

His hand was on someone's neck. No. A man. 

He remembered this. His body working against itself to execute orders. His mind fighting within its own skull to erase the memories of James. 

James

It repeated faintly in his mind, and yet as much as he grasped for it he couldn’t seem to reach it. 

James

It was getting lower. He tried, he was trying. He felt it pounding at him. Suddenly, that familiar jolt. But rather than an electric current pulsing through his body in an attempt to disconnect him from reality, he’d finally have to face this one. 

He was sleeping. No, he was dreaming. The voice inside his head, you, calling to him in a plea to stop. The James that would never hurt a bee, had hurt you. 

He fell back quickly, feeling himself glossed over in sweat. He looked to you, speechless, bruises already forming on your arms. He clung to you, squeezing you. 

Bucky sobbed immediately, reaching to console you. You moved back before even processing it. The flash of hurt in his eyes moved you, but your fear kept you at a distance. 

“Did I,” he mumbled, “did I ch-“ he couldn’t get the word out. 

You shook silently, eyes shifting to the bedpost that was now clearly disfigured…a set of fingers printed along it. His hands on someone's neck. 

You were lucky, a split second and some scratching and you were able to get some distance between you. Even there, you didn’t feel settled. You witnessed your boyfriend, grasp what could’ve very easily been your neck and squeeze with an ease so unsettling that you had no choice but to try and stop him. Despite all the advice you heard to never wake someone this way, you knew he’d been hurting. You hit him, as hard as you could. He tried, he was trying. He felt it pounding at him.

“I am,” the man inhaled, “more sorry than I can ever begin to express to you. I don’t know what happened.” You observed him slowly rise to his feet, clearly drained. “I made you a promise. Who am I… if I can’t let that be true?” 

Bucky moved silently and quickly, ignoring your voice calling out to him. Even in shock, you were trying. You tried. 

Within minutes some people you recognized started to look you over—empathy in their eyes. You drowned out their medical talk, looking for Bucky, noticing he slipped out without a word. 

People tried. He tried. But the scars of the Winter Soldier had become so big that they’d inadvertently grown. Like roots—weeds—they festered and spread to the ones he loved. 

He didn’t know what to say to you, or if he could ever be with you ever again. But he watched from a distance, observing you be tended to like a fresh garden. The weeds seemed to dwindle. While still there, he knew that at the very least—he wasn’t contributing to your stunt growth. Without him, you could blossom into so much more.

(ps. sorry about the emotional scarring 💀)

- amethyst 💟

[fatuismooches]

Whenever i re-read some of ur recent Capitano fic, i keep having these mental images of him having this bad tendency of always following and staring at reader whenever they went somewhere by themself (like shopping, go to salon or park, etc., just having some "Me Time" In general) or just doing something (like gardening, knitting, etc.) 💀. So there's always this strong feeling of being watched and followed 💀. When they turn around to look, its already gone. But when they continue doing their business, that same feeling came back again 😭

(I just love how in the AQ, when Citlali about to interrupt Capitano, Traveler and Ororon secret meeting, Capitano just immediately disappear without a sound 😩 gosh why he is so cool- 😭)

-🥝

PLS!!! It's just really sad thinking about everyone he lost so now he constantly feels the urge to protect you whenever he can, because he's scared of losing you too 😣 I think eventually one day reader goes out with a soldier and they're like... do ya know the Harbinger is following us 😨??? And so reader finally understands why they feel like they're being followed... 💀 So now, instead of him following (unintentionally) creepily behind, reader makes him stand next to them while they go out!! Problem semi solved because now everyone gives you wide eyed looks but thankfully Capitanos' quite well liked in town!!

I also loved that scene too, bc i was like HOW.... but also sad, because i wanted to listen to him talk more 😔

[ontosgold]

I LOVE the way you drew ryomina they are soooo 🥺💖🥰🥺🥺🥰🥰🥺🥺💖💖

Curious, I would love to know if you have more personal headcanons for them! I love your art of Minato wearing glasses

Good luck in uni!!!! Hope you have an amazing day/night ^^

THANK YOU ANON :D !!!!!

and yes I have a few more hcs !! thanks for asking hehe now i get to ramble >:)

I have some hcs regarding fashion and such !! I've kinda been thinking about this a bunch ever since I made those casual outfits for ryoji

-ryoji loves expressing himself through fashion, he really enjoys experimenting with clothes and discovering his style

-he likes going on shopping outings with yukari (minato has been dragged along a lot as well) (yukamitsu ryomina double shopping dates !!)

-ryoji's a big fan of yellow and also just any bright colours that go well with it. he's a bright and colourful boy :>

-minato never really cared much about fashion or style, a t-shirt is usually just good enough for him (his style is just. if its comfy and it looks nice then its good) and he's not a fan of bright colours or anything that makes him stand out too much. ryoji's been trying to get him to experiment a bit

and here's some of my more general hcs for them ^_^

-ryoji's a lot quieter when its just him and minato and minato smiles more around ryoji (minato is completely unaware of how much he smiles in ryojis presence and he'll get a lil embarrassed if someone points it out)

-minato's sleepy and tired all of the time. chronically sleepy (<- lol). god's sleepiest soldier. but he feels super comfortable having naps around ryoji. sleeping when he's nearby just feels safe.

-if ryoji and minato are hanging out at the dorm together, there is a fairly high chance that minato will end up asleep.

-also i like to imagine that if the two of them have a movie night at the dorm, they'll both end up asleep by the end with koromaru all cosied up with them too (<- i should draw this sometime)

-minato's super introverted. while he loves spending time around the ppl he cares about, he only has so much energy for socialising. ryoji is the one person minato can spend all his day around without draining the social battery

-also minato's a pretty quiet guy, he's a man of little words. he prefers to listen to people, rather than be the one leading the conversation. and bcs ryoji and mina know eachother like they know themselves, they don't always need to communicate verbally. I like to think they spend a lot of their time sitting in comfortable silence together

-ryoji's super fascinated and interested by all the simple joys in life. whenever he's out with minato he'll point out things like pretty flowers, birds, the way the clouds look. and they'll stop to admire the sunset if they're out late. and of course minato takes a lot of interest in the things ryoji points out to him :>

also i hc ryoji as bi and minato as greyromantic ace ^_^ !! ryoji and minato's relationship is something so much more than a typical romantic relationship to me

[sixosix]

haiii pookie snukums muah muah cherry pie :3 idk i just wanna give thoughts (and maybe recieve some from u too 👉👈) from the new trailer bc im bored and i feel like im being toasted alive... mainit

FREMI💀 no bc he looks like he can be blown away from a lil breeze. like a sneeze can turn him into dust💀 BUT BRO BLOCKED A WHOLE ASS HIT FROM ARLECCHINO WHILE ALSO HOLDING LIKE A 30 KILO CLAYMORE💥 HOW BUFF IS HEEEEE😭 (lyney at the side like a damsel)

speaking of lyney,,,,i saw somewhere, idk if its canon or not, but i read that lyney is canonically weak. not weak as in "cannot fight", more like, "brains over brawn" type of weak. his main strength comes from his big fat brain and i think thats hot (lyney as brains, thawed!mc as brawns. an unstoppable duo if i do say so myself)

Im just gonna say, arlecchino DID NOT MISS❗❗ when she chose lyney as the successor. bc think about it, the house's main objective is to adopt kids to make them into soldiers(or other stuff). so why are the children not doing anything about it? because they are blinded by father's "love". they've been provided a home and a family that they can love, ofc theyre going to do whatever they can to repay her kindness. i say "blinded by love" bc its most probably not genuine. arlecchino will only do things if it benefits her. so, in short, the children are being decieved into loyalty and submission.

and what is one of lyney's biggest/ most prominent trait? being able to decieve others very easily. he's a magician ffs😭😭 (this is probably why thawed!mc is hesitant/ doesnt believe him whenever he does something bc she knows that its probably not genuine. and bc of this, they're both miserable.💀)

like, he may not be physically strong, but that brain and charisma can bring you to your end in a snap. and that hot.

i only heard childe's voice but i feel like he's important to the lore. my manz been to 3 countries, and hes hasnt retrieve a single (1) gnosis😭 pack up boy ur no harbinger all u do is look pretty and get your ass handed to u THRICE😭 (i love him tho muah)

WIDNTRACE omg windtrce FINALLYY😭😭uueuedhhsuwh

ur so cool bc i just saw the ask asking if theres thawed update tmrw, and ur gonna do RESEARCH???? this is why i love u. marry me. pookie idc how long it takes, everything u write is so delicious. quality over quantity is so real ily. and i dont want thawed to end so soon....

i think thats all of my brain barf today. congrats again on 5k!!! ily muah♥️

HI AKAAGIIIII i did. i did see. i watched it from zy0xs livestream. first of all, ARLECCHINO IS SOOO COOL her presence… unmatched….. the lore ?! im so excited as a player and as a thawed writer!!!!

I KNOW FREMINET WAS INSANE THERE HAHAHAH the way he didnt fall back.. King. king behavior. LYNEY TOOOO HELLOOO THE LORE BOMBBB the throwback to him being chosen as the next King AAAAAA my brain was going overdrive (thawed!mc being brawns shes so stupid i love her)

and yes!! your thoughts on lyney and arlecchino are so true. arlecchino picking lyney makes sense in her perspective but the fact that lyney doesnt want to do it says so much about his character! lyney is such a well written character im so in love

i was so surprised to hear childes voice i was like oh gosh the thawed is writing itself?????

AND YESSS RESEARCH AAA i rlly rlly want to wait and see what the House lore is all about before i write thawed because i think i could really use it. not only for ideas but for keeping it feel like it could easily be an actual genshin quest.. TY AHAHHAA ILY TOO we shall have a spring wedding, like taht post about artists asking permission to draw fanart from writers (thats me)

[sorryimananti-romantic]

hi!! it’s the anon who wrote the long ask on how to begin a story, and i’m sorry to say, but i’m back with another question. that question is : how do you come up with your story concepts? because aurora, be with you, guerrilla, sunrise, and where do i go are all conceptual masterpieces. like serial killer!yunho with a crime novelist? GENIUS! king’s right hand!seonghwa and an exiled former royal spy? BRILLIANT!! soldier!san and soldier!reader with suppressed feelings who are forced to confess because they might die? (in my opinion) ROMANTIC AS HELL!!! your mind is a goldmine for amazing ideas.

personally, ideas come from dreams, movies or shows, or just random bouts of inspiration. and sometimes those ideas aren’t even actual storylines. sometimes it’s dialogue or a specific scene. but then if i really like it, i have to come up with the rest of the story. also, thank you for your advice! i’ve been trying to just move past it because i’ve just been writing for myself, but i still can’t really get past like one and a half paragraphs. granted, i also get confused and stuck on if the punctuation is correct, but i’m trying.

anyways, congratulations on finally finishing your jongho story! i know you’ve been stressing about it for some time, and while i haven’t read it yet, i bet it’s awesome and i can’t wait to! good luck on whichever project you’re working on now!

ahaha omgg welcome back!

thank you i try 😭😭 you're right, most of the ideas come from dreams, movies/tv shows, or just a random inspo. and yes, sometimes it is a scene or a dialogue that i want to write and i shape the story accordingly. sometimes it's just that i know the roles of the characters and now have to come up with the plot.

for stories like aurora, i saw the yunho pic i used for the moodboard- the one from the limitless mv and i was like, i have to use this. it looks like a military uniform and originally i was going to make it a typical 'he's loyal and you're a spy' story but personally, to me, when it starts to look like a typical trope, i try adding a twist to make it unique! so for aurora, i came up with the 'he's forced to be loyal' and worked my way from there- why would he be forced to be loyal if he was originally a loyal soldier and strategist? what was big enough that he could risk betraying the system?

sometimes i just come up with a concept first and think of who in ateez could fit the role. like in be with you where i initially only had the king's right hand x exiled former spy who'll use the right hand to get to her revenge. or in sunrise- military agents, yes, but the thing that i wanted to write about was how military agents must live knowing that they could die any day, what they want to do the most, how they would be hesitant to love bc loving means losing too. similarly, with where do i go, i had the bodyguard x whatever reader but it was a result of being heavily inspired by the kdrama mr. sunshine!

so yes, the motive for writing each fic is very different! it doesn't always have to be very unique- like ice prince x fire princess (white love) is not new, i just have to make sure the plot is unique and make up a backstory to fit that. prince x princess arranged marriage (promise) is also a very commonly written trope. but i think whenever you're coming up with the basic details of your fics, you first have to decide what will make your fic unique. think out of the box (i know its hard to do it sometimes) but i'll let you in on what i do-

i like to talk about what i'm thinking about a fic. i only became friends with loren recently and she's been my go-to person to exchange ideas with, and she's been such a help. it's great when you have someone you can exchange ideas with, get wild, think of possibilities that seem impossible until you think 'wait, i could make this work'. but i've been a writer longer than i've had loren LOL and before that (i'm gonna sound like a loner but it's bc no one irl knows i write) i used to exchange ideas with...

myself. oops

i'd simply open boring old notepad and start a dialogue with myself (only when coming up with ideas for fics and i still do that sometimes when im stuck) bc it helps me take in every perspective. it's a series of what ifs and me contradicting my own what ifs, me roasting my own ideas in the middle of that LOL and finally having some outline which i can work with. and then we start writing and see how it goes from there

i'm happy to learn that you've been trying to write and i hope it gets better!! i kind of relate to you now bc cyberpunk has to be my first real challenge. i've never struggled as much with a fic as i did with cyberpunk and all bc i was hell bent on writing this concept (i did this to myself oops). it took me 8 months to finally finish it. i came up with the first concept 8 months ago, wrote like 3 pages, stressed over it bc i felt like it was too dark and heavy (it was) and then i scrapped it. i came up with another plot, wrote like 6 pages and i thought this time i had it, only to realise that it was going to be the most boring thing ive ever written. it had no oomph factor. left it to sit in the drafts and collect dust, visiting every once in a while, meanwhile writing and posting other oneshots. and when i finally came up with a new plot and all?

i got too busy with real life to write it 😭 like i swear i was buzzing i was on a roll i was writing like 2k words every day but then it stopped and it was hard to get back to writing but i finally, finally finished it. all i had was droid!jongho x programmer!reader and that's it. i'll admit i hate droids im never writing droids again but at least i overcame this challenge, and i know you will too! if you ever need someone to bounce ideas with, i'm here. i love doing that. good luck <3 hope my rant was meaningful LOL

[yermes]

Well guys its almost mothers day and after being around internet practitioners I know that some of you have some SERIOUS family issues. And or cannot see your moms this coming mothers day (Im away from mine atm) But thats okay. Ill be your mom today and give you some motherly advice with the deck that my mother gave me (:

So welcome to my Norwegian household there’s tea and chocolate swirl banana bread! (Usually I would make lefse for a baking venture but my parents wouldn’t let my grubby lil whore hands take the lefse press) so we have banana bread.

Pick a meme

Pick a card

Queen of Swords 🕯️

In this deck this card represents a more water aspect of air. The sharp thought of insight, and sitting upon her throne above the storm. While she does represent the chaos of the storm she also represents the cleansing aspect which chaos can bring. While seen as cruel, chaotic, and destructive i argue that these are needed qualities for change and growth. You may be in the eye of the storm now but the wisdom you will gain from this will be useful for the next time you are in a more chaotic shittier storm. (Sorry queen I feel ya a bitch can’t catch a goddamn break.)

Ace of Pents 🍀

Representative of earth and material manifestation. The people huddle close to the card in safety. However, the physical also needs the none physical to manifest. Don’t get to hung up on the material when the nonmaterial is lack luster. However, whenever possible relish in the safety and fulfillment which the physical and the matron can offer.

Seven of Swords 🤡

Wow. If fuck around and find out was in the dictionary your face would be right next to that shit. Basically, you tried however, you didn’t do enough. The seven of swords is a young soldier took the enemies swords but he left a few and his enemies rise to pursue him. Whether you get away or get yeeted is up to you. Roll for speed and charisma and hope you land a 20 😩

Whether you get to spend mothers day with your mom, are away from your mom, have a bad relationship and or not with mom I hope I could give you a little bit of that good motherly vibes today

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Take a forehead kiss^

Now for a long drawn out lecturey story about my life with an eventual point to really give you that empress matron energy you’re missing.

As a Chaos Magician who has been a terror on the internet for a little less then a decade I look back and see myself being heavily influenced by the people I was around.

(If you’re thinking you’re a chaos magician and all you post is tarot readings?I just refuse to give advice to the same internet that tried to curse the fucking moon okay? Okay.)

And you know what I am still influenced to this day. Not in the same ways obviously. When I first started my lil girlfriend at the time brought me into this kik group chat full of practitioners from different mental well beings (IYKYK) to different walks of life and some of these people are still my best friends to this day. Eventually we moved to discord but there was an issue. One of the bigger personalities of the group straight up didn’t like me. And thats fine. But it always got malicious super fast and eventually they got booted from the group along with a few others. But I notice looking back how I bended and shaped my “Germ” personality online to walk on eggshells around them. Now thankfully I was just shaping my online persona to please them while being myself offline but it taught me a lesson about morality and “isness”. Basically. Nothing is. No I won’t elaborate bc whats the fun in that. But Morality can be extremely empty. After being around all these talented practitioners and becoming one myself I saw that at times “bad” intentioned magic can have positive out comes and “good” intentioned magic can have some extremely awful outcomes. When you do magic and practice need to at times you need to realize that it will always manifest in a very realistic way and realistic isn’t always #livelovelaughlight

So anyways. This asshole tried to curse me and since my “Germsona” was so cataclysmically different than how I am IRL. It couldn’t hurt me. They tried to curse Germ not me and since Germ was so different and so molded to this individual I could walk away without a scratch. Be safe out there kiddos and remember I will always be here to give you awful and cringe advice ❤️

Love Germ

The nana bread 😩

[chevvy-yates]

Alright, I thought about it last night a bit.

I may just stop forcing myself to do the usual 'male v monday' 'shippy saturday' 'thirsty thursday' 'wip wednesday' stuff (I mean I can't even manage to keep up with that either) and instead post whenever I want, like I do on Friday already when everyone is posting their gorgeous females but I (if I post) do post my boys since I do not have any female oc.

I don't know if I'll completely abandon the tags for it or not. it's gonna be more: if I manage to post on that day, I'll add it, if not, I'll reblog and then tag it with the tag or sth like that.

I will still try and take my at least 30min of time a day (mostly after work around 6pm German time) to browse tblr. Queue often makes noe sense to me, sometimes I use ib when I feel I've reblogged to much in a row already but I do not tage anything that will come from my queue so you won#t even notice that it was queued.

I've also set a few blogs on receive notifications so I do not miss any new posts. I love that feature! But sometimes I have to stop using it if a blog keeps posting like every 1h through the day which will give me 24 notes a day on my phone - forcing me to look and I can't do that. I need to find some balance somehow. Still a thing to figure out to have it healthy.

I do not want to abandon looking at content because you all create so many cool things, but in this fandom, as I already said it so many times: it is just so hard to keep up with it. So please do not be mad about me or think I do not like your stuff (anymore) because I've not liked/reblogged a thing lately of your content. I often feel very 'unmenschlich' (inhuman?) when I can't find time to give some love to others work bc I receive so much from all of you, therefore I want to give it back as well.

Idk how you manage having 4+ ocs btw. I with my 4 boys feel like I abandon at least one for too long (rn it is Vijay - and it makes me so incredibly sad, no one will probably understand). But I have to keep telling myself, he will receive a whole lot of attention and love again. However, this month is for Thyjs, because he's having his birthday soon (13th) and so I will focus on him in the first place.

I decided to slide in Jaysen for something else yesterday (because spontaneous things still happen) and I'll hopp in to take a bunch of pic of him as well once my writing here is done, bc he's modeling for some new real cool pants. And then I go back to my soldier boy doing the same (if I can manage bc taking pic … takes time xD).

What elese?

I'll just need to find a balance when I do at least answer roleplay or do story writing because this also I feel very bad about It gets neglected the most, mainly because I've never been a writer. But I find such joy in it and I feel like a bad person that my rp partner always has to wait such long time until I answer. Some days I'd just love to thorw literally everything aside and just do rp 24h nonstop (we all know this doesn't work) because I love love love this story that developed in the past year and when I think about it I'm just so hyped to share it one day but it's a lot of work to do. It's gotten something like a lifetime project by now?

And I need to stop hording my drafts. Its getting ridiculous …

[wardenevka]

WIP whenever!

I was tagged by @enverflymm (thank you!) not tagging anyone bc of embarrassed since i haven't properly written in so long so enjoy my first pass at claude/karlach content

Claude pulled out a few pieces of parchment with a wide smile on her face. “Ta-da!”

Karlach kept a smile on her face, despite the confusion in her eyes

Claude opened the scroll and quickly muttered a few words. The parchment burned away, encapsulating her hands in a green light. When the light faded all that remained were two blue glowing hands floating a few inches from her.

“Gale helped me develop it. A modified mage hand spell. These will follow your own hand gestures, unlike the original spell,” Claude wiggled her own fingers and the projections mimicked the motion. “It’s a way to let you touch people before we meet Dammon in Baldur’s Gate. The sensation will be somewhat muted but I figure this is better than nothing.” Claude used the projections to give a scroll to Karlach before dismissing them, watching their glow fade away.

“Soldier…” tears welled up in Karlach’s eyes, though they were quick to evaporate on her skin. “I… Thank you. This means a lot.”

Claude beamed. “You can thank me by giving me a big hug once we’ve got your upgrades in.”

They quickly went over the basics of the spell before Karlach whispered the phrase on her own. She took a few moments to get used to the projections and how they moved.

-----

“Can I… touch you?”

“Of course. That’s what I made these for.”

A hand tentatively came up to Claude’s face, nuzzling her right cheek. Claude smiled and leaned into the hand, bringing her own to caress it while looking at Karlach to gauge her thoughts. Judging by the look on her face Karlach was feeling everything. Claude pulled the projection away from her face to leave a kiss on its palm, and Karlach sighed at the sensation.

“Think I might cry.”

“It’s alright if you do.” The two of them attempted to lace their fingers together. The slight delay for the magic projection made it a bit difficult for Karlach but it was done. Claude left another sweet kiss on the back of Karlach’s hand, and this time she pouted.

“Not fair that you can kiss me but I can't.”

“I can grab another scroll for myself if you want?”

[clairecrive]

Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?

Young Royals

A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x

Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."

"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.

"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.

"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."

"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."

"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.

"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."

"That's different and you know it."

"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.

Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.

Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."

"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.

"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.

"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."

To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.

Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.

But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.

He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.

While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.

Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.

To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.

And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.

While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.

"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.

"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.

You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.

You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.

Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.

You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.

One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.

So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.

Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.

You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.

You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.

In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.

If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.

If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.

Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.

Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.

Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.

Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.

"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.

Y/n"

What in the name of every sweet loving saint???

The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.

Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??

Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.

Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.

Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.

But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.

So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.

Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.

You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.

So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.

Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.

When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.

So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."

Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.

He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.

But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.

He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.

She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.

You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.

Well, no more.

If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.

Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.

He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.

"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.

"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.

"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."

Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.

"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."

"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.

"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.

Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.

"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.

"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.

"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.

Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.

"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"

"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.

Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.

"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.

"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."

"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.

"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.

"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.

"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."

"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.

"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."

"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.

"It never is."

"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.

"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.

It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.

"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.

"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.

"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.

"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.

"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.

"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.

A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.

"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.

"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.

"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.

"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."

"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.

"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.

"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.

"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.

"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.

You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."

"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"

"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."

"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.

Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.

It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.

It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.

"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."

"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"

"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."

"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"

"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."

"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."

"Is this a promise or a threat?"

"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.

"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.

"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.

One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.

"I love you, y/n."

"And I you, Kolya."

You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.

[bloodycassian]

Reader x Cassian - Hellish Prompt: Reader is an assassin/spy that was caught and azriel has spent months torturing her for information and can’t get anything out of her and cassian eventually goes to see who this assassin/spy is and the mating bond snaps and cassian beats the $hitt out of az bc of the mating bond instincts and rhys has to intervene and break up the fight (i was thinking this could switch between azriel’s POV at the start and then switch to cassian's POV)

AN- this was SO fun to make. Please more requests like this!! I love the idea of unexpected mates!

TW -blood/ blades.  

Drip, drip, drip. Copper smell filled the small room. Blood leaked down the drain in the floor. You wheezed a laugh bitterly and spat on the ground at his feet. Azriel's rage simmered calmly under his dark shadows. They coiled, ready to strike. Wanting to strike. The sound of your feeble laughs was practically the only sound Azriel had gotten from you for the first week of torture.  The second week was worse, even for him. Truth teller revealed nothing when he gouged into your skin from the bottom up. Truthfully, he was impressed beyond measure. But that didnt mean that he could stop the job at hand. He had to know, and wished he didnt have to do this kind of thing to get the information from you. "Listen..." He sighed, cleaning his blade. He was always nervous whenever he had a back turned to an enemy, no matter how well they were restrained. But he trusted his shadows enough to tell him if something was wrong.  "If you just.. Cooperate and tell me where the Queens are, we can let you go. No trouble, just releasing you back to Rask." He tried to keep his tone neutral, but he was nearing an exhaustion point. Torture every day for two weeks had its toll not only on the victim, but the dealer as well. His shadows seemed to be growing restless too, waiting for a chance to strike.  He watched your reaction from the corner of his eye. Noted the way your head hanging loosely seemed to gain a bit more strength before you spoke. "Losing your touch, Spymaster?" You revealed a row of bloody teeth to him, and grunted when the chains at your wrists stung the magic that weakly attempted to help you.  Azriel could have sighed. He could have laughed and bled you dry. Have a healer come and patch you up enough to keep you alive. The idea was tempting, but he didn't like having anyone besides his brothers see him in this mode of darkness. He could have brought Rhys down to attempt to break into your mind again. After the first attempt and Rhys' reaction to being blocked, he wasn't eager for that again. So he sighed, and brought out the potions laced with Faebane.  + He was convinced you weren't a normal Fae. After months of his best torture methods he was a wreck. "She just-" He tried to hide his frustration, but his brothers knew him best. Cassian smirked by the fire, warming his wings. Rhys seemed a bit more concerned, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Azriel had never been one to spend a long time on torture. Rhys saw the frustration flowing from him after every session with the stubborn Fae in the dungeon cell.  "I dont know what to do anymore. She's the only one to have never broken." He ran a hand though his hair. His shadows seemed weak, exhausted like him.  Rhys considered for a moment, looking between his two brothers. Cassian seemed to be enjoying Azriel's frustration. Maybe a bit too much. Rhys sipped his wine then, with a look of innocence, "Maybe we will have Cassian end it. Perhaps seeing the Lord of Death in front of her will knock something loose."  Cassian's stare whipped to him, a silent plea on his face. "We should leave it to our expert Rhys-" Azriel laughed, cold and bitter. "The expert hasn't got a damn thing out of her. We either kill her or send her back to Rask with all the information she's collected about us. With nothing in return." Shame lined his features. The sense of failure to his high lord was a heavy weight to bear. "Cas...I expect you down there tomorrow afternoon. It will be her last chance." Rhys' no nonsense tone shut down Cassian's retort. His jaw locked with distaste. He hated the cramped cells below the house of wind. Hated the way going underground made his wings feel like they needed to stretch. The worst was when that stale air was laced with the rotting smell of dead mice or old blood. It made his skin crawl just thinking about it.  "Come on Cas, dont you want to see the only one that's outlasted me?" Az asked with a mock grin. He couldn't give the same smile back. Turmoil spilled inside him at the thought of going so far below the mountain.  + Cassian took a long time to go to bed that night. His restlessness about the next day made him wake up over and over, never having more than an hour of peace before being waken up.  Azriel held up a mug of tea to him the next morning. "You look like shit." He handed his brother the mug with a small smile. Cassian glared at him, but took it anyway. He went to the balcony, his heavy wings needing to feel the fresh air. It was like taking a bath after being covered in grime. He sighed in relief, letting the late morning sun graze his body. The cold wind from Illyria was beginning to come in for the winter, and the familiar smell ignited something in him. He felt a draw, but shoved it to the back of his mind. He knew what he had to be this day. "Why the hell do we have to keep them so far down again?" Cassian complained. Around and around and around. Down deeper and deeper into the pit of the mountain that the house above was carved out of. Cassian felt like his lungs were collapsing the further they went. He tried not to let his nerves show, but he knew Az's shadows would pick up on it anyway.  "Remember when you broke your arm chasing down that Attor?" Azriel could have laughed at that memory, but the story surrounding it made the experience soured. More shame on top of the guilt already there.  Cassian hummed in approval, welcoming the distraction the memory brought. He tried not to focus on how each turn of the staircase got darker and darker. How the air seemed to compress around him. He locked his eyes on the scar on one of Az's wings. "And we spent a week fixing the top story of that apothecary?" He asked, keeping his voice steady.  "Yes. Dont you remember how the Attor got out?" Cassian shook his head, and Azriel huffed a laugh. "I left the door open for just a second to get a new knife and..." He shook his head, part in anger and regret, part in shame. "It had escaped before I turned around. I dont know how it happened, to this day."  Cassian stared at the back of the shadowmaster's head. The dark ripples around him seemed to spike. "It happens Az, you can't be perfect."  "It's not perfection, its basic thought. After that we moved all enemies to the lower dungeons. No matter the threat. Rhys even put wards on the arches." He ran a hand over the walls, his fingers catching a few of the grooves that linked each spelled archway to the other.  Cassian left the conversation at that. At least his brother wasn't brooding as much as before. The dim lights began to come into view, and his heart began hammering. Adrenaline singing through his veins. His polished siphons glowed, reflecting red off the dark stone ceiling. He had polished all his black armor the night before, when he couldn't sleep. Something poked, prodded at him all night. Keeping him awake. He figured he may as well make use out of it.  "She's not going to talk to you unless you show..weakness first." Azriel said in a low voice. Cassian nodded, reaching the end of the stairwell with him.  Cassian couldn't see the dark figure in the cell, but he felt the presence nonetheless. The dark draw that you demanded. He wondered how Azriel had dealt with that pull this whole time. The tantalizing draw to you. He shook his head, pushed the hair out of his face and nodded to Azriel.  He opened the door, then began his ritual. At the start of every session he would toss a bucket of water over your body, then a bucket of salt. It made the wounds that handn't healed fully scream in pain. You jolted at the suddenness of it this time. "Good morning, shadowsinger." You ground out, voice rough with strain. Cassian watched in awe at his brother.  Cassian was never one for torture. There was a reason Azriel was appointed to this position. Watching the calm cruelness of him was jarring, but Cassian kept his face straight. He stood behind you, watching the flimsy attempts to pull at the shackles holding your arms up. Lacerations dotted each arm, some light pink scars. Some were still scabbing over. A chill ran down his spine.  "You have a guest today, would you like to see him?" Azriel's voice was cool, calm. Like he was speaking orders to a group of soldiers. He began slicing new lines into your arms, moving up to your neck. He had left your ears in tact, as a last resort if you refused to speak to Cassian. The pull Cassian felt was overwhelming. He walked a bit too quickly around you, plastered on a wicked smile for show, then crouched down. The smile faded when he finally saw your face. Your dripping hair was a horror on its own. Plastered to the skeletal cheekbones, and pale eyes. Those eyes were brighter than anything he'd ever seen. A field of flowers down the slope of Illyrian mountains. His world shifted, drawing the breath from him. "Mine." His mind seemed to roar with that alone, but in a thousand different variations. "Lover, friend, partner, mine mine mine. Mate. My mate." His lips quivered with the realization. With the way his heart soared, and the way he moved without realizing it. He choked a gasp, and fell forward on his knees before you. He saw the same astonishment in your reaction. Azriel dropped his sword, confusion and concern alert on his features. "Cas wh-" Before he could finish, before his shadows could detect that Cassian had even moved, his brother was on top of him. Cassian's knuckles stung with every punch. A new kind of rage flared inside him. It made his muscles yearn for violence. Made his teeth crave the flesh of those that so much as looked at you wrong. There was no mercy for Azriel, it was as if he was an enemy on the battlefield. Cassian held nothing back. You hung limply from the chains that bound you. Crunch after crunch sounded from Azriel. He eventually managed to push Cassian off of him. Then they locked together in battle again. Clashes of armor against armor were deafening. The snarls they ripped at each other were loud enough to make you cringe. Your heart squeezed at the sounds of Cassian's breath. At the scent of blood spilling. You pulled feebly at the chains, your mind roaring to protect him.  Your mate. You tried to watch the battle, but the weakness in your body refused to let you turn more than a few inches. They were panting, Cassian fighting with a ferocity Azriel had never seen. His eyes flared with rage, like he was possessed. "Cas-" Azriel grunted, shoving his brother backwards. His back hit yours, pushing you down and digging those stone cuffs into your wrists. You hissed in pain. Cassian roared and lunged at his brother again, and again.  The darkness that boomed outside the cell was jarring. The stone ceiling shuddered, small rocks and dirt falling from it. Cassian did not stop. He didn't hesitate, coming at Azriel with punch after punch. His fist crushed the wall behind where Az's head had been. 

"Enough." The high lord's cool command was enough to make you still your weak attempts at looking at the two. Cassian's chest heaved as he tried lifting his arm to punch Az again. Pure fury in his heart was enough to make him disobey Rhysand's order.

  Then Rhys' talons gripped him. Freezing his mind, stilling him. Rhys' face shifted to surprise at what he glimpsed at there. "Oh.." He breathed. Azriel panted, backing away from his brother, out of the cell. He locked the cell and wiped the blood from himself, his wings hanging limply behind him. "What- the hell." He panted, nursing his arm. Cassian's eyes locked to your small frame. How your muscles quivered, how your arms shook with the effort of holding yourself up. He felt Rhys' claws recede slowly from his mind, releasing each part of him one by one. He rushed to you.  He picked up Azriel's sword and with a clean, masterful swipe, broke the enchanted stone that bound you. The weak sigh that came from you was heartbreaking. His eyes pricked with tears, and he caught you before you could fall to the floor into the puddle of dried blood. He didnt notice, or care that it was there. He sat there with you, cradled you and shook with you. 

"Cassian... She's.. Cassian's mate." Rhys said slowly, astonished. He didn't take his eyes from his brother in the cell. Azriel froze in place. For a moment, the dungeon was completely still. Totally silent, as if the world waited for what was to come next.

Azriel turned on a heel and left, trudging up the stairs. Rhys dared not touch his mind. "Cassian...." He spoke, trying to get his brother's attention. He did not glance at Rhys, just curled around your body more. Protecting, nesting almost. Rhys knew the feeling too well from the weeks after he and Feyre's bond snapped into place.  "We will check in tomorrow. Be safe, brother." Rhys spoke to Cassian's mind. It was nothing but an ocean of rushing thoughts. Cassian could have bared his teeth, could have tried to fight his brother through the bars of the cell. Hell, he could have probably broken through those bars with the primal strength flowing through him with the rush from the bond. 

But he didn't. He stayed, his warm body pressed against yours. Those siphons glowing against your skin like a fire. He stroked your hair soothingly, his tears like rainfall on your body, through your bloodstained clothes. He didn't remember falling asleep there, but it was the most restful, peaceful night he'd ever had in his existence. 

[spicyicymeloncat]

Crystalised part 2 ep 23, 24, 25, 26 spoilers

Yeah I put them all in one post lol

Ep 23

Again, using minecraft logic

Antonia’s “I fished out the last one it’s your turn” lol wow, she makes it seem like this happens often

Antonia did the “if I had a nickel” meme

Oh frick Nya survived?? Also no legs for Nya??

Ofc casual sexism from the mechanic. She has a name!

Okay Jay didn’t crash!! Hell yeah Jay saving Nya for once!

The mechanic is anti jaya also that was such a sick line jay

Okay her fuckin legs are fine now ig

Also Nya’s gonna become water again :(

I think it’s weird that the Crystal warriors can pass out tho

Again city that never sleeps. Paperboys still gonna do their thing amidst a freaking war

Wu: I can’t do child soldiers

Nelson, pointing at the ninja: wtf are these then???

BENTHO IS COMING BACK :D

HELL YEAH LET NINJAGO CITY FIGHT BACK FOR ONCE

Oh gosh that was sick

ep 24

OH MAN THE THUMBNAIL

Lloyd rlly said frick you man

EXCUSE ME POLICE BUT WTF ARE UR PRIORITIES?? THE MAYOR IS GONE NOW WHAT LAW ARE U EVEN USING

NOOO NOT THE SERPENTINE :[ that’s so sadddd

Lloyd really blew his mind there

MISAKO FINALLY CAME BACK FOR A SEASON

I feel like the prophecy guy was brought up before but idk how to spell his name lol

PIXAL MY BELOVED I LOVE HER SO MUCH

Man zane is on the fritz

Oh god he has no limbs man that’s kinda fcuked up man jeez.

However the the ice emperor schtick is kinda funny

Oh my god he’s in a rucksack

OH MY FUCKING GOD ICE EMPEROR IS ONLY BACK FOR COMEDY not what I was expecting but I’ll take it

Hell yeah Ronin! Pixal and Ronin team up will be interesting

Omg the other sog who basically got completely rejected by Harumi this time round. Rip Pixal everyone is evil even her boyfriend

Hell yeah Ronin!! Trying to actually break out of the cycle

Also freaking Zane kicking ronin with his foot

Zane: vex? Vex! Wtf is vex when you need him

Ofc Cyrus didn’t even know

Ep 25

it’s the lava episode :)

Aww man Cole really hit his head

Okay even if I’m not a Kailor shopper I support skylor calling Kai hot shot

Ig this episode really will say which ship is canon

Freaking pythor. I love him

I guess Harumi is looking for lloyd

I would just like to remind people I coined Embershipping for the Kai/skylor/cole ship

ITS JAKE

I’m literally gonna start crying about Garmadon. Mans has half of his emotions but in the ways he’s expressing them, he’s sad about how Lloyd doesn’t accept the Oni heritage that he himself has and how christofern is a weird confused metaphor for Lloyd :((((

Gayle and vinny xxxx

God clutch literally has Nadakhan still oh my god

Okay this door must be a Chekhov’s gun bc they’re so gonna answer a knock that isn’t the paper boys

26

OH NO I DO NOT LIKE THIS EPISODE TITLE

Okay so I assume the romance is gonna get cleared up in this ep. We see the harbour so we know jaya is a thing. We’re looking at Kailor at the start. And like. Pixane… I’m gonna cry

Okay thank god we’re addressing the problems with them right here and now. I’ll hate the ship significantly less if they do this right.

Okay that’s fair

(I’m still a lava shipper tho)

No I refuse any couple shit from wusako no thanks

FreKing Garmadon. He’s like my baby brother whenever someone is on the phone

RACER SEVEN OH I LOVE HER SLSO

OR LIKE BLAZEY is it blazey? H SPEED. I love her

Oh my gosh. I hope Rarlkove integrates Pixal into the long con snake jaguar au

UV just 👉👈 at pixal

:(((( Zane. Has borg tried turning him off and ok again? Putting him in a bag of rice? Giving him a few thumps on the back? What if we just say “protect those who can’t protect themselves” that worked in s11

THEY LET BLAZEY KEEP A PRIME EMPIRE GUN??

ZANE YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS HOW MANY FUNERALS DO YOU WANT MAN

WHAT THE FUCK THE PIXANE KISS

ZANE IM GOING TO DISMANTLE YOU MYSELF YOU SLEEPING BEAUTY FUCK

PIXAL SQUEALING

FUGIDOVE IS EVERYONE

THE SAM X SUIT LOOKS COOL

Okay barely any jaya and I look forward to draw Zane’s fucked up face but like JEEZ MAN HE DONE DID IT AGAIN ITS LIKE HE SAID NINJA NEVER QUIT… DYING

At least that’s a good place to stop

[runawaymun]

Hey there! I love your writing ❤️ Could I please request something fluffy for Lindir, with a reader that is like really though on the outside as a defense mechanism, bc she had a bad childhood. But with him she's very sweet and caring. I hope it's ok, and thank you!

Fem!Reader x Lindir - Porcupine

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, romance - with a dash of mild angst because I can’t help myself.  warnings: Just a mild reader injury and implications of a less-than-stellar childhood, per the prompt.  for: @who-ever-said-i-was-nice reader pronouns: she/her Sindarin translations:  Uchnuad - stupid thalielen mell nín - my beloved champion

“It does not hurt,” you insist. 

Glorfindel looks so mournfully penitent and you want to smack that expression off his face. Of course, your shoulder does hurt where he’d knocked you back during your sparring match, but it’s second nature to ignore it and you’ll be fine in a minute anyway. He’s working on you with your footwork and the last thing you want is to be babied. 

“Should I walk you to the healing halls? Maybe to Lia, or Lord Elrond--?”

“--Glorfindel! I am fine.” It comes out sharper than you had intended, and he winces. “Can we get on with the match?” 

Reluctantly, he takes up his training sword again and you yours. By the end you’re sweaty and your knuckles are bruised and a little bloody from where Glorfindel landed a hit, but you’re getting better at your footwork and making it harder for him to strike, and the more it hurts the more fiercely you ignore it until eventually he ends the match for both of you. 

“I can keep going.” 

“No,” Glorfindel lowers his sword and steps away from you. “You will stop.” 

“Uchnuad,” you mutter as you stalk out. Two of the other elves sparring in the training yard give you apprehensive stares, unable to believe that you’ve called the balrog slayer stupid. That was the other thing: the more pain you were in, the spikier you got. You put your training sword away and kept your face purposefully neutral as you went up to your room to wash up. 

Maybe you hate yourself a little bit, but you’re not sure if that’s because of the weakness or how mean you get to everyone when you sense that you might be vulnerable. The longer you stay in Imladris, the harder it is to keep wearing your shell, but relinquishing it scares you. It has served you well since you were small.

Lindir’s in your bedroom when you reach it, dusting an already-clean bookshelf. He’s hyper-focused on it and doesn’t turn to look at you, instead asking:

“How did your training go?”

“Fine,” you grumble, unbuckling your boots so you don’t track mud in. He hates that so much. 

He looks up and his eyes grow round and luminous. “You’re hurt.”

“Fuck it all! I am fine! I won’t break!” you exclaim, yanking one boot off and hurling it to where it goes next to the door.

He flinches at the profanity. You’re not sure you’ve ever even heard Elvish soldiers swear, let alone sweet, proper, anxious Lindir. You hate the flinch. You hate that you’re the reason for it, even though it isn’t anything like your flinches whenever someone reaches for you too quickly or raises their voice.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, standing awkwardly at the threshold and feeling like an intruder. You bend to slide off your other boot and collect its twin from where you’ve thrown it and set them both neatly by the door. Satisfied that you won’t track dirt onto his clean floor, you come over and take his hand in your own and bring it up to your mouth to kiss his knuckles, then his palm. “I’m sorry,” you say again. “I just don’t like people fussing over me, is all.” 

“Then I fear you are in the wrong place,” he says, voice warm with shy humor. He squeezes your hand. “Lord Elrond so likes to take care of people and Glorfindel is the most overprotective ellon I know, and I-- I am just about the fussiest, neurotic creature--” 

“--I love it,” you interrupt before he can slide down some self-depreciative slope. 

His small, pink mouth opens in a little surprised ‘o’ and he blushes to the tips of his perfect ears. You link your arms around his trim waist and draw him close to you, resting your forehead against his. 

“And I think you’re just about the only person who I’d let fuss over me.”

He shifts to press an adoring kiss to your forehead and his eyes fall to the mud splattered on the front of your breastplate and he can’t help but use his cleaning cloth to polish it off. 

“Then allow me to fuss, thalielen mell nín.” 

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge✨

SEASON 3

Dagur and Hiccup working together.. That's crazy but we love to see it

Also Toothless' facial expressions on ep1 are so good

- and the way Hiccup screamed "I hate you" after Dagur abandoned him was so sad 🥺

- TOOTHLESS TRUSTING DAGUR ENOUGH TO LET HIM RIDE HIM 🥺🥺

I love how Hiccup and Fishlegs always reward their dragon

Cavern Crasher - scavenging mystery class, pushes dragon out of their home and takes over, extremely fast, it's mucus becomes flammable when it hits the air, feeds on the other dragon's eggs, collapses it's skeleton and squeezes through cracks.

Dude I remember when I couldn't watch the Crash Course ep(2) bc I thought it was boring but I've come to appreciate it more. IT'S JUST SO FUNNY! We have the twins being... Well the twins and then we have proud, overprotective Snotlout SINGING TO THE BABY FIREWORMS 🤩

No bro but the way Hookfang and the Fireworm Queen combined their firepower

And the lil Hiccup and Snotlout moment at the end🥺🥺🥺

GOTHI TALKED❗️❕❗️❕

They treated Fishlegs so harshly 🥺 like I get why Hiccup would be mad at him but still like 😞 [ep3 with the night terrors and the lost civilizations ]

- i love how Hiccup felt bad after he treated Fishlegs the way he did

Fishlegs hugs >>>

Snotlout: I'm having Asia Fondue. Something seems oddly familiar

Hiccup: Snotlout, are you trying to say "deja vu"?

Singetail - its first appearance was in ep4, can fire from almost any part of its body -> mouth, tail, & underbelly.

Both Snotlout and Spitelout are trying to prove themselves to Hiccup and Stoick

Even tho ep4 is not one of my favorite eps I really liked how Spitelout and Stoick were ok at the end

BUFFALORD SOLDIER ONE OF MY FAVORITES

- bc of Hiccstrid ofcccc😭🤩

The Scourge of Odin - plague that tore through the Archipelago centuries ago, wiping out entire Viking villages. It moves swiftly, overtaking it's victims in less than 3 moons. Cure: green solution made out of the saliva of a Buffalord

The way both Hiccup and Snotlout seemed so worried🥺

Buffalord - all hunted to extinction during the Scourge's last outbreak, big, has ram- like horns and lives on the plains, extremely strong.

"I can't imagine a world without you in it"

THE WAY HE HOLDS HER🥺 nonono and the way he carries her and lightly touches her shoulder and holds her hand 🥺 I can't -

The way the dragons went crazy was kinda scary

Grimora - rare parasite that attach themselves to dragon and release a toxin that causes them to turn wild.

Stormfly loves bath time

Love how the water looked in this episode 🥺

Not all of them making fun of Fishlegs for having a girlfriend

Heather and Fishlegs 🥺🥰

Why is windshear kinda spoiled..

Hiccup was just kidnapped and Toothless is being forced to fight now

The way Astrid is so smart and gorgeous and beautiful and UGHHHH I love her 🥺

And Hiccup standing up for Toothless even tho he can't really do anything about it :(

OK BUT ASTRID'S EXCITEMENT WHENEVER SHE REALIZED THEY WERE OK AND THE WAY THEY HUG 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Triple Stryke AMAZING DRAGON I LOVE IT SM

I got chills whenever they freed the dragons and whenever they were shooting the ppl that paid for the dragon fights

Do I love them? Yes. Yes, I do.

BBY DEATHSONG IS SO ADORABLE

Tuff comes up with the craziest names, but Ig Garffiljorg the Deathsong has a certain ring to it 😩😶🤩😂

THE DEATHSONG REALLY WENT FOR THE KILL... HE REALLY SHOT CHICKEN AND WAS ALL LIKE 😏😋

CHICKEN PASSED OUT HAHSHABAVVA

HICCUP AND SNOTLOUT AND THE TWINS SINGING OMG

THE 🔥INFERNOOO🔥 OMG YESS and the way he got so excited to start working on it more 🥺

The Quakens feel the vibrations of the Earth and they're extremely strong

FISHLEGS DOING THE HAND THING ON THE QUAKENS

Dagur riding Toothless will never not be funny "why'd you do me like that bud?"

Just found a mistake! In ep11 Hiccup sends Snotlout and Heather out so he can teach Dagur how to ride a dragon without Heather killing him. Then, he has to go to his Hut to get a spare leg and leaves Dagur alone WHERE HE'S FOUND BY THE GANG INCLUDING SNOTLOUT-

Dagur and Fishlegs forming a friendship

Heather crying for Dagur is so heartbreaking dude like she's gone through so much 🥺

Sir Ulgerthorpe is hilarious 🤩

GOBBER JUST FOUND HIS DRAGON OMG YAY I LOVE HIM 😩🥺

Astrid and Heather being extreme badasses👏🏼 we love to see it 😍

In ep12 whenever they get caught Astrid puts her hand on Hiccup's shoulder and Hiccup responds to this by putting his hand on top of hers AND I JUST CANT WITH THESE LIL MOMENTS! and the change in music too🥺

AND JHDHSHAJAHSA TUFFNUT RUNNING AGAINST THE WALL AND RUFF NOT BEING EVEN FAZED but when she realizes she smiles HAHDHHSHAHA

AND THEN HER TELLING HIM TO TRY AGAIN

I love grump (Gobber's new dragon)

Gobber fighting Ryker- iconic

Astrid saving Hiccup and Meatlug saving Toothless🥺 I love them and the way Hiccup looks up at her with his wet hair 😩

Dude it's so like Astrid to not tell whenever she's hurt bro

SHE REALLY WAS LIKE "it just grazed me" when she had to pull the whole arrow out of her leg

Sarcastic Hiccup>>>>>

The fact that the twins can actually be super smart whenever they want to

Astrid is so badass bro like she really caught the darts that were abt to hit her and Hiccup plsss

Mala, Queen Defender of the Wing being voiced by Adelaide Kane reminds me of Reign so much like SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER

Eruptodon - The Great Protector

[fanmoose12]

pretty please... if you could so kindly write using that prompt u reblogged about levi and hange sharing his horse on their ride back to let her rest bc of the blood loss and injuries 🥺 whenever u feel like it! sorry, i'm a sucker for whump and hurt/comfort ficlets aaaa 😭

The sun was already rising, the danger growing in size along with the red circle on the horizon. The Titans might appear soon, and they were still a significant distance from safety of the Walls. If they did not want to engage in battle, they needed to spur their horses, or take refuge elsewhere.

They rode out of Shiganshina too late, the stars were already out when they finished their inspection of Yeager's basement. Perhaps, it was unwise to travel after sunset, knowing they wouldn't make it home in time. But no one wished to stay another second in Shiganshina, a place that was now haunted not by one, but two great tragedies. Levi couldn't even think of that little town without shuddering. The field littered with dead bodies, the buildings blown away by the explosion that took so many lives with it... Levi had seen his fair share of nightmarish events, but what happened at Shiganshina would surely haunt him for years to come.

He understood the urge to leave it behind in quickest manner, and, personally, Levi would prefer to quicken their pace even further, so they could reach safe lands as swiftly as was possible. But the horses were already tired from the lengthy travel, and they had a couple of injured among their ranks. Besides... he didn't have the power to decide.

The one who now was wielding that same power was sitting behind him, with arms tightly wrapped his middle torso. Her eyes were closed, her face pressed into the fabric of his cloak, but Levi knew she wasn't asleep. She didn't sleep at all throughout the night. Levi wondered when would Hange be able to sleep peacefully. After everything that had happened, after the responsibility Levi had placed upon her, he couldn't help but wonder if she could ever sleep peacefully.

These thoughts were troubling, but, then again, what wasn't troubling in their changing times?

Levi put the reins in his one hand, his another moving to rest on top of Hange's.

"Hey," he murmured in his softest voice. "Hange, we-"

"I know," the gruff way in which she was speaking was certainly alarming. There were but a handful of times, when Levi heard that tone of hers. It wasn't simple exhaustion - Hange was drained, weary to the bone. And her voice, it was laced with a helpless resignation so stark Levi had to suppress a shudder.

The times were changing. And it seemed like they were changing along with them.

"We're still too far from the Walls," Hange continued. "We need to make a detour, head to the forest."

That was a sound solution, one Levi was leaning towards as well. It was decided then, the only thing left was-

To give command.

Levi kept his eyes focused on the horizon, as he awaited to hear Hange's voice.

But instead of a shouted command, he heard a quiet, broken sound, something in between a bitter chuckle and a choking sob.

"Sorry," for a second Hange's hold on his cloak tightened. Levi lamented that it was the only way he could comfort her right now. He wasn't the one for affection and displays of love, but in that moment, he desperately wished to hug Hange, to hide her in his arms, protect from the cruel world around. He could do nothing, though, but continue to move forward. That was the only thing they were ever allowed to do. "I forgot I'm the one who has to do it now. I'm so used to Erwin doing that."

Before Levi could find his words, before he could get his voice to cooperate and stop shaking, Hange straightened on the horse.

She cleared her throat and, raising up her arm, yelled out, "Soldiers, turn to the left! We're heading to the Forest of Giant Trees!"

Hange waited for everyone to follow the command, then slumped back down, her face returning to the place in the crook of his neck.

"How did I do? I was so afraid my voice would get lost in the wind. I don't have the voice for this sort of job, I think."

"You did great," Levi assured, squeezing her hand slightly. His horse didn't seem to mind that he was steering it with just one hand. Besides, Hange needed his comfort a lot more. After everything that had happened, Levi needed Hange's comfort a lot more.

"How is your eye?"

"Awful," Hange answered. "It hurts like a bitch, but... not as much as everything else hurts."

"Hange," his vision swayed a little, the edges swimming. Levi tried to blame the rising sun for it. "Hange, listen, I'm so-"

"Shut up. I don't understand your reasons, that is true, but you did what you had to. Don't you even dare apologizing for it. I should be thanking you actually. If you haven't made it through... I don't know what I would have done without you, Levi."

"I thought I lost you," he confessed, his voice shaking at the last word. "When we saw that damn explosion, I thought you were its victim."

The memory alone was breaking him, and if Hange hadn't showed up on that roof... He pressed his hand to Hange's, interlacing their fingers.

"So thank you, Hange. For staying."

"We're the only ones that left," she muttered, voice muffled by his cloak.

It was crazy to think about it. It was hard to accept that everyone - Hange's and his squad, Nanaba, Mike, Moblit, Erwin - were no longer with them. It was a miracle that they were still together, a miracle that Levi had to thank Moblit for. The dedicated, loyal Moblit, he died as he had lived - caring for his Squad Leader. Levi could never thank him enough for this.

"We have to stick together," he agreed. "We have to... take care of each other. We'll make it through, Hange, I promise you."

"Of course," Hange's voice lost some of its heavy weight, the life returning to it. Without even looking at her, Levi knew that her lips were already curled up in a smile. A tight knot inside him started to loosen up. "Let's just stay together, and we'll be able to conquer any foe."

Just as the rising sun, the hope inside Levi was turning just as bright. Hange was right - while they were together, everything was possible.

[writingtoforgetreality]

The Way You Make Me Feel (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

[Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: Steve sent Bucky & you on a mission together. Nothing special, you worked well together, after all. This time, you had to go undercover. Pretending to be a couple. Your frustration after an unsuccessful night needed to be released. Bucky had something in mind.

Words: 3,137

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, smut, oral sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, protected sex bc Buck’s a responsible person, this is pure filth, I don’t know what else you want me to say…, language, undercover mission gone wrong, I wanted to write angst??? What happened? …oopsie? I’ll go take a cold shower now.

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Bucky Barnes. Used to be the Winter Soldier. Now the White Wolf. Muscular body. Broad shoulders. That metal arm of his that did unspoken things to you. Basically, he had ruined every other man for you. Unfortunately, he was not yours. He never would be yours. Coworkers. You were coworkers. Nothing more, nothing less.

The teasing was a given. Both, Bucky & you, had personalities that made it impossible to not flirt with each other. It was all playful, of course. Nothing would ever come out of it. Though, you would have lied if you said that you did not wish for it to change. His strut so manly, so strong. Thank God he was oblivious to how your body reacted whenever he was around. Those accidental touches. His hand touching your lower back. Everything set your body on fire. If it was not enough for him to be so hot, of course he had the most charming smiles to top everything off. It was unfair.

It was even worse that the entire team had picked up on the way you eyed Bucky. How whenever he entered the room, your eyes could not fixate on anything else. How your smile got wider whenever he talked. No matter how hard you tried, you fell for him. Harder & harder each day. The chemistry between you guys was no secret. Which was why you usually got teamed up with Bucky to complete missions together. But that was all there ever was. Constant flirting, teasing. Anything beyond that did not exist.

Another mission with him. Undercover. Your absolute favorite. You would have been fine with Sam or anyone else for that matter. But Bucky? Things were bound to get complicated. It was inevitable. Posing as a couple? Really? As if things were not bad enough already. A couple usually shared a room. You understood that. The thing was that you guys were not together. Not outside of this mission. So you had to deal with your emotions for him while being in the exact same room. With one bed. Yeah, things were starting great. After finishing up here, you would kill Steve for sure. He knew about your crush on Bucky. Probably the reason he liked to send you somewhere together. Apparently, it was incredibly exhausting to watch you guys dance around your feelings. You were a lot of things. A dancer was not one of them. More like an observer. Watching from afar to avoid stupid mistakes. That was more fitting.

Gala number one was over. Without any luck. There was no new information & nothing that brought you closer to your target. Just hours of unnecessary pretending & fake laughing. That was exhausting. Especially if Bucky had to be close to you all night long. Always an arm around your waist. A kiss on the cheek for effect. If it were not for this stupid mission, you would have enjoyed every single second of it. Sadly, it was an act. That thought alone broke your heart into a million pieces. Not even you were sure when your feelings for Bucky started. It was like you were thrown into ice cold water all of a sudden & now you had to deal with the aftermath.

Unsuccessful missions always left you frustrated. This type of frustration that let you overthink every little detail. What if you did this? What if you did not do that? What if, what if, what if. Mind being filled with so many thoughts, it was barely possible to stay sane. Even worse, you still had a couple of nights ahead of you. If you did not finish this job then you should not head back. Great. If all nights turned out like this, you would throw yourself out of a window. No, really. You were exhausted.

His body language revealed how stressed he was as well. Completely tense, clenched jaw. He did not like it any more than you did. Truthfully, he was even angrier than you. While the two of you worked well together, when things did not go your way, it could get pretty heated real fast. Words thrown at each other’s heads. Blaming the other one for that particular thing because if that did not happen, then you would have finished this mission already. It took a few hours until the tension died down again. An apology later & you were back to normal.

Not today, it seemed. The two of you were worse after that gala. Maybe it was because you felt uncomfortable all night. Maybe it was because you had to stay here for however long. Maybe it was just him. Him acting like a shy gentleman. Like the husband obsessed with his wife. Wanting to show her off whenever the chance was given. Tonight, you were her. You were his wife. You were the one he wanted to show off. But you were not really her. Just a fraction, if anything. He pretended & so did you. At least that was what you told yourself. Deep down, it was so much more than just pretending. It was like giving in to a craving you had had for years. And while it was not much, it had to do. Had to be enough. Because that was the most you would ever receive. The most he would ever give you. How you wished this were not the case.

So why the hell was he staring even more intensely than usual? Why the hell did he eye you up & down like a hungry animal waiting for the perfect timing to attack its prey? Why the hell did his hands clench into fists? And why the hell did it affect you so much? So much, in fact, that your thighs pressed together involuntarily. An action that did not go unnoticed by him. Standing up, flexing his muscles. Eyes that looked darker in the barely lit room. His never leaving yours when he approached you carefully. He took his time. You knew he did it to give you enough time to escape this situation if you really wanted to. You did not, though. For once, you wanted to give in. For once, you wanted your body to fully feel. Feel him. All of him.

His body was only mere inches away from yours. The exposed skin on your back pressing against the cold wall of your hotel room. The dress did not cover much. Enough to keep the others interested. And apparently to keep him interested, too. Both of his arms came up to rest next to your head. By now, he was caging you with his entire body. An action that let goosebumps appear. You breathed the same air. It seemed like the time stood still. Everything that kept on was you & him. In that hotel room. Against the wall. If he decided to lower his head just a little, your lips would be touching. He did not. No. If this was about to happen then he wanted to take his time with you. Tease you. Hear you. Feel you. Your breathing picked up its pace. He had not even touched you yet but you were already reacting like this. His smirk showed you how much he truly enjoyed having you putty in his hands. One of his legs moved slightly. Until his knee opened your legs slowly. His thigh pressed against your center. Barely, barely enough pressure to give you any form of satisfaction. Yet, you could not help but whimper at his touch. To shut you up, he pressed his soft lips against yours in a passionate kiss. There was no hint of gentleness behind his actions. Just purely heated with a desperation that made you weak at the knees. You melted into his touch, your hands roaming all over his chest. Any way to bring him closer to your body. His metal hand found itself at your waist while his other one cupped your cheek. An almost tender action that balanced out his rough & relentless kiss. It was like he was your drug & now that you got a taste of him, you would never let go again.

When his hands brushed over your shoulders to push the straps of your dress down, your breath hitched in your throat. His mouth went down to your neck, sucking & gently biting every now & then. You moaned when he reached a certain spot. Staying at this place, he focused solely on it all while pushing your gown further down your curves. The moment it reached the floor, he took a step back to take in your full beauty. To him, you were the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on. Not wasting another second, he dropped to his knees in front of you. So close to where you wanted him the most. Where you needed him. His hands grabbed your hips tightly. It would sure leave bruises but you knew you would love looking at them after waking up. Because he did that to you. Kissing his way down your belly, he made sure to focus on his task. His eyes opened when he reached your panties. Silently asking for permission. You were too far gone already so you eagerly nodded at him, threading your hands through his soft locks. A slight push earned you a groan. One, that went straight to your pussy. But he would not give in that easily. After all, he had waited so long for this to happen. He would savor it in great detail. His flesh hand kneaded one of your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. You were in a state of bliss & he had barely touched you. That was enough to let him know what he did to you. Before you could even process what he was doing, he pulled your panties off in one swift motion & slid his metal fingers through your slit. The coldness of it made your excitement grow even more. Usually, you would feel embarrassed by how wet you were. But this was Bucky. With him, it was different. An approving hum coming from him was enough confirmation. You had no need to be ashamed.

His fingers worked slowly, almost lazily. He knew how to push your buttons. By the way he touched you, so skilled, with such certainty, it was like he knew your body better than you did. Bucky encouraged you to be noisy, he wanted to hear you. The sweet moans, the whimpers, that he caused. He was the reason for them. Finally, he found your clit & put more pressure on it. Rubbing it in a steady motion. You could feel your orgasm building up already. You wanted to warn him, wanted to let him know that you needed a tiny bit more. He got the message when you pulled his hair tighter. While his finger stayed on your bundle of nerves, his head dipped lower, using his tongue to eat you out. And holy shit. That man knew what he was doing. He was so skilled, you assumed he had had tons of women before you. Right now, you could not care less. Your entire focus was on his ministrations & how his tongue entering you mixed with his fingers on your clit brought you higher & higher. Gripping his hair harder made him groan into you. That was all it took for you to let go. Your thighs shook & if it were not for Bucky steadying you, you would have fallen to the floor. For a few seconds, your vision was all blurry. That had never happened before. All the people who you had been with had never managed to satisfy you quite like this.

Again, his lips met yours. This time, you could taste yourself on them. And if it were possible, it turned you on even more. Both of his hands went to the back of your thighs, lifting you up with ease. He walked over to the bed & laid you down gently. All while his lips stayed locked onto yours. He propped himself up on his arms in order not to crush you with his weight. It was only then when you realized that he was still entirely dressed. Which was not really fair, considering that you were completely bare in front of him. Your hands went to open the buttons of his shirt but since you were still shaky after that first mind blowing orgasm he gave you, you could not quite succeed with that. A low chuckle escaped Bucky & his face left yours to help you out. His frantic actions showed you how he did not want to waste any more time. You barely had enough time to appreciate his body in its full glory. His muscles. His soft skin. Bucky knew what he wanted & he wanted it now.

He topped you, this time you opened your legs for him to slip in between. The kisses grew more & more passionate. But before you could get lost into it once again, he pulled away from you entirely. Your eyes opened, concern written all over your features. Bucky shushed you before you had the chance to ask if you did something wrong. Crossing the room in no time, he came back with a condom in his hand. The wink he sent you made you breathe easier. So he was not about to leave you. Opening the package, he took one of his arms to stroke over his thick cock. Sitting up, you kissed him while taking the condom from him. Your hand grabbed his wrist & you replaced his with yours, mimicking his previous motions. He groaned lowly & you smirked at his reaction. Twisting your hands just right, you picked up your pace. By the way his breath got heavier, you assumed that he was enjoying it. Suddenly, he pushed you away from him. Not hard, just so you would get the message. You knew what he was getting at. Giving him another short peck, you rolled the condom on & laid back down on the mattress. He followed your motions & set himself between your legs again. One arm on each side of your head as to not hurt you. His tip teased your entrance. Slowly sliding up & down to gather you slickness. Whenever he touched your clit, a moan left your mouth. That went on for a while. After all, Bucky made it his job to tease you. When the whimpers got too much, he asked you a simple question. In that deep, lust-filled voice of his.

“What do you want, doll?” you knew what he was trying to do. He wanted you to beg for him. But you were not that type of person. Not usually. Bucky was the exception. And he only had to ask that question twice before you gave in, the frustration clearly audible.

“Please, Buck. Please, I need you.” that did the job. In one swift motion, he entered you, filling you up so painfully right. That familiar, delicious sting. He stilled for a second. While he knew that he wanted to make this rough, he did not want to hurt you in any way. So he let you adjust to his size. Only when you moved your hips slightly & when you moaned out his name did he start his thrusts.

At first, he set a steady pace. Long, deep thrust that made your breasts bounce in the sweetest way possible. Not once did he close his eyes. No, he wanted to remember everything about this. Everything about you. You being under him. It did not take long for you to beg him for more. Giving in, he quickened his thrusts. Now, much deeper than before. He reached places inside of you you did not even know existed. The entire bed was moving & for once, you did not care if anybody heard you. All that mattered was the man on top of you. The man who made you feel like this. Like you were a goddess that needed to be devoured. During this moment, you felt like the prettiest woman on Earth. Bucky made you feel like that. You hated your body’s reaction to him. Because you could already feel your second orgasm building up. You did not want this to end so soon. You did not want to let go. But you knew you could not hold it back. Not much longer. Not if Bucky kept going like this. Somehow trying to signal that you were close, Bucky got an idea. His entire weight was now on his right arm while his metal one made its way between your bodies. Before he touched you there, he gave you an order. One that you could not help but obey.

“Open your eyes, doll. I wanna see you cum for me.” he said it in such a sexy way, barely above a whisper, but loud enough for you to understand that he was serious. So you did. You opened your eyes, locking them with his. That was when his metal fingers started rubbing fast circles around your clit. The noises coming from you got louder & louder. You were so close. When his thrusts did not slow down, you knew you would be there soon. The last bit it took came from Bucky, lips brushing your over your cheek, breathing another order in your ear.

“Cum for me. Yeah, that’s it. Cum all around me.” you had never heard something so hot coming from him. His words brought you over the edge. For the second time tonight, you saw dark spots clouding your vision. Bucky watching you cum under him made him reach his high as well. He bit your shoulder when he did. The pain mixed beautifully with the ecstasy you were currently experiencing.

He stilled inside of you, the two of you breathing heavily. You had never felt this satisfied after sleeping with someone. Slipping out of you, he rolled onto his side, propping his head onto his arm. There it was again. His charming smile. While he was a shy, polite gentleman outside of this room, he sure as hell did not hold back in bed. And you were glad that he did not. Smiling at him, too, he leaned in one more time for another kiss. This time, it was soft. Delicate. Not like the ones you shared only a few minutes ago. This sweet, romantic moment got interrupted when Bucky gripped your hips & rolled you on top of him so you were straddling his lap.

“I’m not done with you, doll.” yeah, it was about to be a long, tiring night.

Published (04/07/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @sweetserendipity65, @buckysleftarm420, @longinusfilibuster, @kathsheaven, @your-local-awkward-barista, @xfeliciahardyx (thanks for your support <3)