#bc it felt silly to keep posting hes still alive
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dailysaboupdates · 8 months ago
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he's still alive
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mercars-musings · 2 months ago
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Rate Your OC Traits
Tysm for the tag @redheadsramblings & @sunny374940! I so appreciate the amount of times youse both give me opportunities to yap about my boy hehe
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Tis Az Mercar again! <3
Compassion: 7/10 — He DEFINITELY leads with compassion more often than not but tbh it TRULY depends who you are. Another random person? Sure, he'll try compassion. Someone he dislikes like a Magister, a Venatori, Solas, or another prick who would rather get their own while others suffer? Yeah fuck you, swift kick to the face if you don't get out his way. ~ Bitterness: 5/10 — Depends when you catch him, this bitch has so much trauma and is filled with a quietly bubbling rage just under the surface, but is also AMAZING at compartmentalising and bottling his feelings up. :') ~
Happiness: pre-veilguard 5/10— Work was his entire life, he barely went out and only ever did hook ups. He did NOT want to deal with romance ever again and genuinely never saw himself with a future past probably dying to stop some asshole magisters.
Happiness: post-veilguard 8/10 — He's got a wonderful husband, a surprise skeleton son and finally got the Dock Town Doggo thats always barking to come live with him. He's still traumatized and is dealing with a lot BUT he finally sees a future where he's happy and with those he loves. ~
Chivalry: 3/10 — Ehhhh, he does do romantic stuff don't get me wrong, but if he's ever being "chivalirous" it's most likely in a silly teasing way to make Em smile! ~
Pride: 5/10 — It's kind of a middle ground. He's proud of what he's accomplished as a Shadow Dragon & he's proud that he was able to stop the Elven Gods & keep {most of} his loved ones alive. But deep down he's still the weird kid that was severely bullied & had the only person who was ever proud of him killed before he could ever figure out how to be proud of himself. That shit kind of fucks up your self worth. ~
Honesty: 7/10 — So, yes & no. He will be truthful to a point. He never lies to Em or his close friends on anything important. BUT he will lie about how he's feeling to avoid an awkward situation or to keep people from worrying about him. He will also lie to assholes & omit certain info to non family / friends on missions if it gets him what he needs / opens the right doors bc well duh. ~
Bravery: 8/10 — He's a proper chicken shit at heart but he WILL do what is right & will do it with a brave face while he's internally SCREAMING in a panic lmfao. ~
Recklessness: 7/10 — He DOES prefer to think things true but sometimes his moral compass is a liiiiittle too strong and prompts him to act first, do damage control later. There is a reason the Shadows sent him to work with Varric for a while after all! ~
Ambition: 4/10 — He doesn't really care for titles or anything of the sort. He just wants to help people and fuck over as many magisters and Venatori he can along the way lmao. If a title helps him do that though, he may consider trying to achieve it! ~
Loyalty: 10/10 — Look this bitch commits HARD okay? He spent so long without a support system that he just didn't care for long but NOW? Now, he has something. He has a family in the Veilguard, Siblings in Taash & Davrin, a Partner in Emmrich & a son in Manfred & daughter in Hissera. He's had a taste of what he's always been after, finally and by the Gods he will die for it & to keep them safe if he has to. ~
Love: 10/10 — As someone who tried so desperately to shut that part of himself off for a long time... his hopeless romantic ass & his desire for family has kind of come back in full force and he will do anything for his loved ones. ~
Sense of family: pre-veilguard 3/10 — Desperate for one but with a mum who never wanted kids and a dad who loved him but was away from home constantly. He never really felt it in a meaningful way. Sense of family: post-veilguard 9/10 — He still has his scars and MANY hang ups around the topic of family. But, he definitely understands a lot more now and absolutely loves the little family he found / made. ~
Attractiveness: 10/10 — I personally think this dude is pretty as fuck. Is his appearance a self insert of how I want to look in the DA universe? Yes, which I think explains my answer bc I WANT TO LOOK PRETTY lmfao. If you ask him he'd just shrug, Emmrich agrees with me though, he's hot and pretty af. ~
Agility: 7/10 — He's agile enough. He's a mage and does close quarter combat and is great at it. But also don't ask him to do anything toooo physically demanding in his off time, his bones hurt lmfao. ~
Sex drive: 8/10 — Pretty healthy amount tbh. He really likes sex, ESPECIALLY with Emmrich. But also sometimes would just rather cuddle with his necromancer and read. :3 ~
No Pressure Taggies! : @thedissonantverses ; @andthekitchensinkao3 ; @ofcrowsanddragons ; @caughtnyact ; @hyperions-light & literally anyone else who sees this and wants in! <3
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radidoes · 1 year ago
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Can you please do platonic Alastor x gn!child!reader headcanons?
They can be some kid that he took under his wings or just straight up his kid back when he was still alive.
LITTLE DOVE 🕊
A/N- this is such a cute idea omg,, i'd definitely say he wouldn't be the best dad considering the hell situation, but he'd try. tysm for first submission 🫡
Alastor being a fatherly figure to a gn!child!reader headcannons, tooth rotting fluff :)
Alastor had found you while wandering the pride ring post extermination, you were hiding behind a recently deceased mother.
Although Alastor never once thought he would want a kid, he grew accustomed to your presence; he admired your curiosity and bravery, while others cowered with fear for the Radio Demon you had never once shown a hint of fear.
Alastor would often accompany you to many parts of Hells' rings, your notable favorite was visiting Rosie in Cannibal Town. He also took you to Lucifers' Lu Lu World; even if he hated Lucifer, he couldn't say no to you.
If Alastor couldn't accompany you he would have one of his shadows follow you, even if he wasn't there his aura made sure no one even thought of harming you.
If you were found during his time residing in the Hazbin Hotel he would most definitely only allow you alone with Charlie, knowing she was the most kind-hearted soul he could put his trust in.
He lets you play and toy around with his ears, horns, and his radio equipment. You dressed him up in silly hats and bows, and he doesn't bat an eye; of course, if someone saw he'd make sure they never spoke of it.
As you grew older, Alastor had taught you most of his combat knowledge (although you never needed it since he would always have someone watch over you.)
Being a teenager of course you rebelled; once running away from the hotel. Even if he wouldn't admit it Alastor felt true worry, that one of the most important people in his life had gone missing, he couldn't stand the thought of losing the only two things he cared about in his life, you and his mother, when he finally found you he made sure to keep an extra vigilant eye out for you wherever you went.
The other hotel residents made sure to treat you nicely; afraid of what Alastor would do to them if he saw them hurt his beloved child. Angel Dust would take extra precaution to watch his tongue, not wanting to be reprimanded for his vulgar language and manners Alastor frowned upon
Overall, you were one of the most important things he has in his life during Hell; and he made sure nothing would harm you, using any means necessary to protect you.
A/N- if you send requests, pls keep in mind i have others waiting im getting to them as fast as I can; I never expected so much!! please like if you enjoyed; I'm not the best but I try lolll,,, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! MWAHHH i don't want this to not do well bc I genuinely liked this idea :3
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what-the-fic-khr · 1 year ago
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Hello I hope this ask finds you well! Happy to see the tea prompts again bc they’re so so so cute 🫖🥹
I have a fewww ideas.. bc I just love everything about your writing and I’m curious about your take on rooibos tea w/ Squalo orrr earl grey w/ Hibari (I absolutely adore the way you characterize himshdnshdjdh)
If neither of those suit your fancy, matcha tea with any character that comes to mind for ya? I’m excited to see your posts floating around again and know I’ll continue to love anything you pen for us🫧🤍
waaaaah thank you so much for your kind words, I appreciate it so greatly!!! I chose to do both because I’m in the mood to, and I’m so thankful for the support! I hope these are to your liking!
character/s: superbi squalo, hibari kyoya, reader-insert (gender-neutral)
word count: —
warnings: huh. nothing for once
prompt: tea prompts (rooibos tea, earl grey tea)
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rooibos tea; what’s their favourite thing to do with their s/o?
Squalo’s either a huge fan of resting or hates it entirely. for the sake of this, it’s not resting per se, but… he likes to relax with you, very specifically. even if he’s working; being able to actually relax is rare, and nice. watch for if he removes his sword with you around; he likes to do maintenance on it with you around because it’s not stressful, not work, and with you. it’s a sign of comfort and vulnerability
You were complaining about something, rolling around on the floor beside him as you went on and on. He didn’t care much about all the movement; you maintained a good distance so you wouldn’t knock into him.
“Besides, it was stupid to begin with and if they’d listened to me in the first place it wouldn’t have happened at all!”
“Mhm.”
You glanced over at Squalo, stretching your arms out to rest your head on. He glanced up at your silence, and his shoulders slumped. This didn’t stop him from polishing his blade, the action repetitive, calming, like habit.
“What?”
He huffed when you smiled in that silly, dreamy way you did when you were enamoured with something. It still had to take some getting used to, seeing it directed at him.
“Nothin’. You look so nice and relaxed for once. Boss is gonna kick that out a window once you’re done.”
He grumbled something under his breath at this. It wouldn’t last very long, but still. He felt relaxed, for once. The soothing motions of sharpening and polishing his sword was a comfort to him. You rolling around on the floor like a kid was a comfort to him.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere for at least another half hour.” Your eyes started to light up at this, and he almost laughed at the way you started kicking your feet back and forth in the air. “You’re stuck with me until then.”
“Favourite thing to be stuck with.”
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early grey tea; how did they court their s/o?
if he’s an adult, he’d be… a bit more normal lol. I think he’d be very careful while getting to know you, but he’d like to show you how strong and reliable he is. y’know, adult in the mafia kind of stuff. younger though, he’d be a lot more… of a loser about it. he’d want to make sure you can also look after yourself in the future with him! so he’d stick to you like glue at school, be suuuuper annoying and stuff. fight, probably.
“Can’t you go easy on me or something at least?!”
“Doing that won’t keep you alive in a real fight, will it?”
You made a loud noise of complaint, but you still got back onto your feet to return to your original position. Kyoya gripped his tonfa a little tighter, nodding to himself.
If you could not even get up and keep training, there would be no point in trying.
There was potential in you he knew was there, and he’d be damned if the one he’d grown attached to would get killed because you didn’t try to get stronger. It only made sense to him that the one who put you through this was him and no one else. No one else would take it seriously.
“Get ready, then.”
You whined, but steeled your shoulders. Your gaze on him sharpened, eyes narrowing, and he felt his lips twitch up into a smirk.
Exactly the spark he wanted to see.
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vieramars · 1 year ago
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Bc the post I just reblogged gave me ideas here's a bunch of silly tmagp headcanons about what kind of pet owners they'd be
Sam - he's allergic to cats, and he used to be terrified of dogs. When he dated Alice she had a dog, and he pretended to be comfortable around the dog until it became genuine. He's still uncomfortable around most dogs but if he gets to know them he really likes them. I don't think he'd own a dog though. I think if anything he'd have a bird (maybe a canary hehe). He got the bird before he was really ready or understood its needs but then dove headfirst into research and now he knows enough about owning birds to teach a class. Also he got really into birdwatching and bird ID as a side effect.
Alice - she's a cats and dogs person, can't have one without the other. And she's actually responsible about it and socializes her pets together well. I think she'd also really like bug pets like tarantulas and mantises. She's a bit of an amateur bug keeper but she's doing her best. She did once accidentally have a mantis last eggs and then her entire apartment became the Mantis Domain for a few weeks.
Gwen - probably wasn't allowed to have pets as a kid and internalized that way too hard. She thinks having an animal in your house is "dirty." She is definitely befriending the stray cats around the area of the OIAR (she will deny these accusations to the grave). She doesn't try to, but they keep coming up to her so how can she refuse to give them scritches? I also think she's incurably scared of dogs. And she's absolutely a horse girl deep down. And, tragically, I'll hc that she really wanted a pet fox when she was a kid (until, you know...)
Colin - as we know, he's the world's best fish dad. I think it's fish and only fish for him, though maybe some other aquatic creatures. I feel like he thinks he's too much of a mess to have a pet that requires space. His fish were a therapy recommendation that he got really invested in and, like Sam, he did tons of research to figure out which fish were right for him and how to take care of them. If he wasn't busy fighting for his fucking life he'd probably have multiple fishtanks so he could keep different kinds of fish that don't mix so well.
Lena - I feel like she does not vibe with traditional pets at all but she really vibes with fish and reptiles. She doesn't want pets that require an emotional connection. She read that one post about how reptiles may not feel love in the way human society values but they can have a bond of trust and she felt personally called out. I'm torn on whether she actually owns any pets; I feel like she's both too busy and too afraid of failure to actually take the life of any animal into her own hands. She's been "waiting until she has the time" since she was 20. She knows or knew people with reptiles and would go over to their places just to chill with the creatures. Somewhere on her computer are a bunch of old pictures of her holding various snakes and lizards and they're the few pictures where she's smiling. If she survives the series relatively unscathed (by which I mean alive to a certain extent and able to carry on) someone please get her a snake.
Teddy - seems like a dog person. Probably has a very chill old dog who's well taken care of. The kind of dog everyone loves when they visit cause he just walks up to you, plomps down, and waits patiently for pets. Teddy's worried about being able to take care of him if he can't find a job soon.
Celia - I don't think she'd have a pet, since she seems to not want to form too many attachments to this world. With how much stress the dilemma of Jack is for her, a pet would just complicate things further. If she were able to though, I think she'd be a cat person. Also I love cat person + bird person dynamics so it feels fitting.
Bonus headcanon Klaus was one of Lena's reptile owning friends who owned an iguana. He took the iguana with him in the friendship divorce.
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velvees-archive · 8 months ago
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TGAA 1-2 Spoilers (Live Blog)!
at the time i’m posting this, i have something to confess: i am currently on TGAA 1-4. i wrote most of this while i was on 1-2 so it’ll still have that real-time accuracy, but i don’t know how i flew through TGAA. it took me a long time to get through 1-2 and then i ate 1-3 up in one sitting and i’m now almost done (i think) with the 1-4 day 1 investigation. i’ll also still post my 1-3 breakdown + some 1-3 reactions bc those are already drafted.
this game is peak. the pacing is rocky and some segments drag on, but i am more than willing to stomach the lows when the highs are as high as this.
i did have various reactions to 1-2 which i will link here, here, and here, so let’s get into the meat of this case. warning: copious amts of glazing ahead!!!
i am in complete awe. this case gave me everything i could’ve asked for and then some. it is impossible to stress this enough, but being funny goes a long way in an ace attorney game. in any media, actually. maybe shu takumi has a really good grasp on humor and comedic timing. maybe it’s the other writers or the localization team that give TGAA that extra oomf. whatever the case, i’ve laughed out loud so many times while playing 1-2, the same way you’d laugh at everything your crush says bc you think they’re kinda neat and sometimes maybe a little funny and-
i will say that the case started incredibly slow despite the reveal abt who died (already talked abt that but ouch?), but considering this case introduced one of the most popular characters in the franchise, slow build up is to be expected. i’ve seen the name “herlock sholmes” around and he did NOT disappoint, especially when he abandoned the silliness and locked the fuck in at the case’s climax. it’s actually peak.
speaking of characters that don’t disappoint, while susato’s presence starts out unimpressive in 1-2, she quickly becomes one of 1-2’s most entertaining characters. they have never missed w the judicial assistants EVER. i love my weird girls and susato is no exception. there are a lot of emotional moments in her dialogue that convey how much respect she had for kazuma. it’s in the music, the word choice, and the sprite usage. i can’t believe how well this game gets characters’ emotions across with the few dialogue boxes they’re afforded. sometimes less really is more.
i got chills during the lead up to the confession. everything that happened was unfortunate, really. i’m bitter bc of how kazuma’s death played out, but god, the logic was good. no doubt in my mind that kazuma was going to consult w ryunosuke instead of ratting pavlova out. i know i keep saying this but the reveal is peak. we’re only on the second case but the characters feel so alive. the atmosphere is fantastic. and again, herlock sholmes actually knows how to lock in!
ryunosuke is written wonderfully in this. you can feel his grief/frustration; more than once, i felt ready to tear my hair out bc of how uncooperative everyone else was being. it is unbelievably cruel to accuse him of murdering his best friend.
i will admit that i expected a court segment and didn’t get that, but you know what i DID get?
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this, which, arguably, has way more character!! ALSO! the inspector is back! and did i mention i love herlock sholmes? i love herlock sholmes!!!
in a not-so-smooth segue into character relationships, the depth of ryunosuke and kazuma’s devotion towards one another genuinely leaves me breathless. there’s nothing i like to see explored in media more than a bond like theirs. i was and am a firm satosugu shipper; that should say a lot already!
this isn’t to say that i ship them (though, as with most ships, i do keep an open mind). what i’m really trying to explain is how taken i am with ryunosuke’s loyalty towards kazuma and kazuma’s complete and total faith in ryunosuke. ryunosuke decides to cram study law for 40 grueling days so kazuma’s dream can live on through him. the last thing kazuma thinks about before he dies is ryunosuke, because he trusts him so much he sought his opinion on how to move forward w pavlova’s situation. we as the player don’t have much time to get to know kazuma yet takumi manages to sell their relationship in a way the second trilogy couldn’t sell many of theirs. i am deeply moved. this is so poetic and indicative of an otherworldly kind of love.
i’d also like to take this moment to double down on what i said about kazuma’s katana and his soul, which finds itself in ryunosuke’s possession at the end of the case. SYMBOLISM!
i was holding onto some hope that kazuma faked his death, tho i see that’s probably not possible now? i mean, two people were jailed for his murder. surely he wouldn’t agree to involve innocent people. he’s much too noble for it….
unless, ofc, the thing he absolutely had to accomplish in london forced him to abandon his morals.
ik what you’re thinking: bro’s still coping? and to that i say, yes. yes i am. even tho what we’ve seen of kazuma goes against what i’m saying, i am. do i actually believe my own bs? questionable.
there are definitely things i’m missing, like how the many great deductions + that whole thing abt letting someone’s gaze lead elucidates what kazuma was up to during his final moments…that is A MASTERCLASS on big reveals. beautifully done. there are other things to praise like susato’s fixation w keeping things orderly + her fangirling over sholmes. i love how she extracts knowledge from infobooks and silly magazines. there’s so much depth to her character.
i leave the case with mixed feelings abt the killer. she’s just a kid but god why did she have to assume? at the same time, though, her quick thinking was the difference between life and death for her. i am clawing at my walls!!!
CASE VERDICT: 8.5/10
i love this game.
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dirtbra1n · 1 year ago
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AA4 SPOILERS/////
that quote you called krisnix is soooo fascinating to me bc, they really had dinner together most days, like that’s a level of commitment we didn’t even see from most of the ppl who phoenix considered important and that whole time on kristoph’s end it was to keep an eye on Phoenix and on phoenix’s end it curiosity bc kristoph voted against him losing his badge and also it was to find out the reason why he lost his badge and kristoph was just this name that kept popping up, and for Phoenix and kristoph it was so many red flags bc kristoph knew phoenix wasn’t the type to let something rest and Phoenix knew there was more to kristoph then at first glance but somewhere along the way it become genuine, but at the same time kristoph still kills shadi after a single convo with phoenix and phoenix still pressed record before even asking kristoph to be his lawyer, it’s Phoenix recording every single one of those convos with kristoph but still (probably) having him meet truck, but it’s kristoph keeping himself at arms length from Phoenix but Phoenix taking it bc he’s never been the type to give up on a person, whether it’s to their doom or his and for better or worse he wouldn’t want anyone else to really see him the way he currently is besides kristoph, now what the hell could that possibly mean?
(that quote I called krisnix)
anon you will never know the extent of the joy I felt seeing this initially and the extent of it I still feel now. but I’d like you to. Thank You For Biting. and for waiting a little over a month Sorry about that. I'm gonna ask you to forgive me if this doesn't make any sense or hold up to scrutiny. the demons have got hold of me and I'm making do
because I get to talk more about krisnix. Ha ha. pulled out all my silly little suppositions to review again I think I was waiting for an opportunity like this. like my hubris is getting me. I recklessly called that quote krisnix and now a little over a month later I'm completely sick about it.
I'm going to reiterate that I'm very sorry if this reads like shit, and I'll apologize just this once that this post got as long as it did. go fish
you ever think about how kristoph's a dog guy. guy who has a dog, guy who brought a photo of his dog into solitary confinement with him. also a caged blue bird which alive or not happened to contribute significantly to the krisnix breakdown of dec. 2023 There are really some very bright minds in krisnix pit. me and you included anon. that's a tangent. I'm sick. I'm drafting this in a terribly disorganized fashion. I'm reading transcripts. I'm getting dizzy.
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this fucking room haunts me
vongole, though
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a man's best friend, who's known to bite if handled roughly. her name means clams.
I've been doing some web surfing. I can't move in one straight line to save my life so I've been doing some web surfing. kristoph doesn't say what kind of retriever vongole is, which is fine. retrievers are dogs bred to retrieve game, tasked not to break skin, to be gentle, to keep soft mouths. vongole is a retriever who bites (literal) when bitten (metaphorical); a clam that clasps shut.
kristoph's a dog guy and sometimes he's the metaphorical dog. not One straight line to save my life. it's funny that seven years have passed without phoenix meeting vongole. held at arms length but indisputably held. a man's closest friend. besides his dog.
a lot of the time phoenix is the metaphorical dog. putting all tangents aside A lot of the time. phoenix is that metaphorical dog. what is seven years of companionship, eating dinner after dinner together, and being seen at your worst... worth? indulge me: this guy, you pieced together pretty quick, was behind the forged evidence that lost you your badge. this guy, as you saw happen in real time, was the one person on that committee to vote against that "strictest punishment".
this guy, as an indisputable fact, is a big fucking weirdo. you'll need to snare him eventually, for the forged evidence, but--you're kind of in the habit of liking weirdos. is the thing. he sunk your career, he lost you your badge. he's kind of an asshole, also.
he has bought you and trucy dinner more times than you could ever hope to count. there's a curve in your sofa from all the times he's sat in the same spot, wrinkling his nose at greasy takeout boxes and your grape juice breath. he talks to trucy in a voice slightly less haughty--warm, if a gun was held to your head about it--than the one he plays up with you, and she completely eats it up; thinks he's real fun to tease. his eyebrows wrinkle, an almost nothing frown, when she puts on a show with a trick that he can't immediately come to some conclusion about. he'll put on obnoxious rubber gloves to wash your dishes, to protect his manicured nails, as he goes down a dozen rabbit holes trying to reason out what he's missing. you've seen him doing casework. he's seen you delirious and half out of your mind. his mouth, in your experience, is soft.
you're kind of in the habit of liking assholes, too.
neither of these guys can be vulnerable for shit. over the course of seven years, they've seen each other as close to vulnerable as they can get, which isn't very, because this span of time especially--phoenix stubbornly keeping a little girl's head above the water, kristoph, for reasons we will never, ever understand, constantly looking over his shoulder--really doesn't see either of them in a place to get through any skin-flaying conversations about what they want with or from one another.
kristoph really does want control, though. he wants to be in control of things, have a handle on things. and he probably figured out something like immediately that phoenix wright really isn't the sort of guy you go to for that kind of thing. and yet! sunk cost fallacy's a bitch, kristoph! what good does a beautiful bluebird do you if you don't keep it with you on display heavy-handed. I know. don't I know it.
gonna rein myself in a little. because I'm off the deep end and you're posing really interesting ideas. kristoph couldn't rest for seven years because "shadi smith" was unaccounted for, out there somewhere. kristoph couldn't rest for seven years because he was scared for his life. "shadi smith" played a game of poker against the best and got whacked. and then murdered! tough luck!
really it's my curse. that so much of krisnix is personalized person to person, because of real aa5 shaped smoke and mirrors. because it gives me the space, the soapbox, the platform, microphone, and spotlight, to ask, In that trial, of the murder of Shadi Smith, where Kristoph Gavin was supposed to defend Phoenix Wright, what verdict was he looking to see through?
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because I'm sick, you see. kristoph had just, finally, gotten rid of the man he spent so long being scared of, just clawed his way to the path out of the woods, and all he had to do was--
Have you ever stood at a crossroad. the decision laid out in front of you's not actually that tough, if you can believe it. even space for you to completely rationalize any attachments away: you get phoenix wright off (haha), you keep your reputation as the best defense in the west (opinions on the name notwithstanding), and you could, as a possibility to consider on occasion, maybe even learn how to have a slightly more-vulnerable-than-usual conversation.
or you could lose.
pretty simple choice to make, right?
and then phoenix goes and fucks it up, of course. dogs get restless with nothing to do. they want to be of use to you, kristoph, did you ever think to fucking ask phoenix for help? you come when called, you let yourself be persuaded, generously, to help keep food on the table. to keep a warm body company, one way or the other. to be some fucked up psychosexual approximation of a friend. but phoenix comes running when called, too, and you haven't once given him the chance.
big fucking stink you're in, kristoph! You didn't just brain a guy with a juice bottle for no reason. Tell me why you did it.
the big question you won't answer. five black psyche locks pulsing with a despair you don't have the tools to register. you said it already: I killed a man named "Smith" with a bottle because I am an evil human being.
what does phoenix hope to get out of this. motive for a murder, then what?
you really get me anon. phoenix never the kind of guy to give up on somebody he loves, up against someone who's finished with even arms length, stubborn as all get-out, and, even to himself, completely unsalvageable. irredeemable. an evil human being who killed a man named "smith" with a bottle.
it's not that phoenix would help kristoph hide a body. he pretty evidently did not do that. and it's not that phoenix would just forgive kristoph for trying to poison a twelve year old girl either. but there were seven full years between the disappearance of zak gramarye and the murder of "shadi smith", and vera misham hadn't been poisoned yet, and phoenix wright is an awfully loyal, terribly stubborn man himself.
I don't really know what the hell the lot of this means to tell you the truth. but I think now as much as ever that phoenix should chase kristoph's chance at life to the death, and I think that regardless of the stopping point on the line of time kristoph's last words to phoenix should be ...Later, then.
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catsaurofmagiccomedy · 2 years ago
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I got a little to silly last night and wrote a veritable essay underneath this post here, I decided to make it its own post,, everyone give it up for this little guy about how the Fears from tma would interact with our punching bag of a little guy Arthur Malevolent:
First: Dual avatar of the hunt & stranger.
hunt: He's always chasing something. Whenever he's up and awake he's moving towards something and when he finishes? He INMIDEATELY starts chasing something else he's could be defined like the hunt ritual: “The Everchase” never stopping, always something else to get to.
stranger: He's so uncanny. He's always talking to himself, he always looks at you slightly off, every person that encounters him casually ends up seeing something strange about him! All of those chats w John while in cabs? You can bet the drivers were creeped right the fuck off about him! And that definetly feeds the stranger.
Second: The eye and the web “are fond” of him.
web: He's so good at manipulating people! If he wasn't so insistent on pursing people & goals like he does, he definetly would've been snatched as a web avatar! (Similar to what happened to martin) I don't think he could voluntarily be an avatar of it simply bc he would refuse to be puppettered by the mother and all of her avatars are, he prefers to resolve his problems by chasing & violence (sidenote: not a slaughter avatar bc his violence is NOT sudden and spontaneous nor is it unmotivated or unpredictable)
eye: I mean? Our boy is SET on adquiring some knowledge even if it could potentially or definetly hurt him or even those around him! What's more eye than that? (that was literally what led Jon to fully become The Archivist, if Arthur's eyes were still his own he would've been an eye avatar for sure)
Third: Victim of the dark, the desolation, obvs touched by the spiral & the end, maybe the buried, the corruption, the slaughter and the flesh
dark: He does no longer have his eyes, all he can see is darkness and he hates it! It would be so easy for him to get fed to the dark, especially bc he KNOWS there are monsters that go bump in the dark and people out to get him his fears are not a “maybe” they are a “when”.
desolation: my man has been taking L after L, I mean He keeps having one devastating loss after another (this is before even getting fully into canon, pre-canon + part 1), he barely has the time to get all of his pieces and glue them back together before another tragedy or accident decks him in the face (his parents, then bella, then faroe, then parker), his life is loss and recovering from it, only to get pushed back into it the second he is even remotely back up and his persons lead me to:
corruption: His relationships man, they are a lil messed up! He could so so easily get consumed by what loves him and tells him he's a home. His parents can't love him anymore, they're dead. Bella never loved him, he never loved her they only married bc she was pregnant! He loved Faroe so so much, but he lost her because of his own actions. And Parker got him out of the (metaphorical) pit he was in, he clung to him as a life boat & he was still alive bc of Parker and Parker alone at that point. He's also dead. Now he has John; they bicker and they tear eachother apart, they hurt the other so deeply but they cant separate because the alternative is so much worse (even if John got a body they would still be so codependent of each other; their souls are interwined after all). You could argue he's already a home for what loves him. After all isn't he a home for John?
buried: man has been thru: 1) a loveless marriage; 2) the pit (non-metaphorical) (Probably also financial problems lbr, he was a compositor, i don't think they payed him much for his services, but I don't know shit abt it so mountain of salt on this one). I would not be surprised if all of his life he felt trapped in some way or another.
slaughter: I believe that after every gory and bloody thing he has gone through he has gained a mark by percistence, also his deal with Kayne would deninetly leave him a mark if he didn't have one up until that point (bc Kayne is without a doubt an agent of the slaughter, idk if an avatar or a manifestation distortion style but that mf is Slaughter through and through), he definely feeds the slaughter with his fear, at this point he expects violence at every turning point.
flesh: man. So, the cannibalism, huh? The losing parts of himself, eh? Maybe the second one is a lil bit flimsy but by god the cannibalism, at what point did he started seeing Mr. Faust as meat, do you think before or after killing him? I mean, we know he was starving, would it really take much to believe that he had already decided on eating him while he was still alive? Also, man, his body has gotten so fucked up, I don't really have a point with this last part just, he's really been thru the grinder.
spiral: He's been thru the horrors, he has had two different pieces of a god of madness inside him and is currently using one of them as his concience and better half, I don't believe much explanation is required here.
end: Our pathetic little guy has been dead! That is enough for a Terminus mark but he has gone to great efforts for his mark to be constantly renewed! He has: Died fr (And got brought back)! Almost died, resulting in a coma! He gets on a good streak of not getting to the "by the skin of his teeth" side of surviving during the dreamlands arc, surprisingly (he was in peril but not on the "How tf are you still alive" scale), until the near end, where he: almost died by cutting his throat as a last resort to try and save John! And then he almost died again! He was saved tho! So I feel confident on him being touched by the end, he is however not an avatar as avatars of terminus have accepted their eventual deaths and are significantly less proactive than Arthur, they much rather wait, after all It Comes For All!
So John, eh? Might as well. Some bonuses:
Fourth: Dual avatar of the eye and the spiral.
eye: He's Arthur's eyes! He's not only doomed by the narrative and an unreliable narrator, he's the narrative itself! We know what he tells us, he feeds us and Arthur their surroundings, he is the one that manages the knowledge, we don't know things he chooses not to tell us (be it out of hidding them or out of thinking them irrelevant, the result at the end is similar enough)! John is fundamentally entretwained with knowledge, the concept of eyes and he definetly sees and has to describe horrible things he would much rather prefer not to. Also him seeing the death when he touches a corpse? Absolutely goes in the "avatar of the beholding" evidence pile, additionally Arthur is quite lacking privacy due to John's precence! That is in fact another mark for the tally!
spiral: Bby boy is a fragment of a god of madness! That alone would qualifies him! But he is also responsible for Arthur's perception of reality, that is a big, big spiral thing! To be the lens through which a person perceives things is kind of a thing for this Fear, as are eldrich incomprehensible entities (like he is) and his behavior at the very beginning (manipulating Arthur by pretending to be his friend and having his best interests in mind [you may think that this is a web thing, it is in fact a certified spiral avatar behavior as demostrated by Helen Distortion on the 5th season!]).
Fifth: Victim of the dark and the web, touched by the slaughter and just a tinsy little bit by both the desolation and the lonely.
dark: His time on the dark world has fucked him up, Big time! Our boy would love night lights! He is always afraid of going back there and thus is afraid of the dark in general, Arthur's coma was awful for him! You better believe he is always giving th dark fear snacks!
web: He barely has bodily autonomy, his decitions and opinions can be at any moment be ignored with minimal consecuences if Arthur so decided, he has no choice but go along with whatever Arthur ultimatly decides (while this may also sound like the buried, it is my belief that: No, Thanks! Okay for real now I feel like the buried is less about choices than the web is, in the buried you do not get the courtesy of your choices being ignored you are never, from the start, allowed to even make one, because the situation you are in is one out of your control, meanwhile in the web your choices are taken into account and ignored, used to further harm you or used to subtely guide you towards the desired outcome), John is, in this, very similar to how the kids on Hilltop Road were, he has to go through the motions of whatever that which is guiding him wants, unable to truly affect things past a certain point.
slaughter: Dear Johny boy has this mak for all the same reasons that Arthur does, plus all the pre-Arthur atrocities he has assured us he commited!
desolation+lonely combo wombo: So, what do you think happens when you are an entity that only one person hears in their head when you lose that person? You are now a meal combo for the one alone and the torturing flame to share, of course! With no one with whom to share your hurt with you are alone, you devastatingly have lost the only person you have. You are alone and desolate. So I think it's not a strech to understand why the month of the coma was shit for John, now, imagine if it happened now!
Resume time!
Arthur is an avatar of the hunt & the stranger, he is favored by the web & the eye. He is a victim for the dark & the desolation and has been marked by: the corruption, the buried, the flesh, the slaughter, the spiral & the end. He has a [12/14] and could be starting the next successful Everchase or Unknowing if he gets marked by: the lonely & the vast! (That's worring especially given that the lonely one is just a disappeared or amnesiac John away and the vast one is just a matter of time given the eldrich monstrosities).
John in an avatar of the eye & the spiral, a victim for the dark & the web and has been marked by: the slaughter & the devastation + the lonely combo. He has just half with a [7/14] and could start the next successful Watcher's Crown or Great Twisting if he gets marked by: the buried, the corruption, the end, the flesh, the hunt, the stranger & the vast! (This situation can be neglected! He is not going to get all of them exceedingly quickly, nothing to worry right now as there is nothing out of the ordinary for someone in his situation! [surrounded by the horrors while having once been part of a horror yourself]).
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ikomahis · 7 months ago
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so I listened to 'Cocktail Molotov' from Arcane and got an inspiration for a draft (it's silly but I just want see Eli being pathetic hehe. maybe I'll edit it one day bc I wanted to dig deeper into Eli's psyche so ya, this is just an idea)
post Vengeful, Eli losing powers (tw; alcohol consumption ; violence)
Ever since Sydney's power had revived him - and not out of pity or mercy, but as a tool to be used - Eli Ever had lost the part of himself that had defined him for the last fifteen years.
Her power was like a twisted bargain with the devil, offering life only to take just as much in return. He was no longer the untouchable immortal god he claimed to be ever since he woke up from that bathtub, but a fragile, breakable man, much like everyone else.
He was no longer something above it all, but a man who could bleed, who could break.
A mere mortal.
Nobody.
When he tried to summon the untouchable calm that had defined his old self, the confidence of knowing death was nothing more than an inconvenience, it wasn’t there. In its place was a trembling, raw fear.
And yet, for the first time in what felt like ages, he felt ... free.
Sydney had brought him back with a purpose - to find Victor Vale, as he was the only one who could. And after a month of desperate search - more driven by his own desires than by any loyalty to her, and perhaps because he and the girl were now even - he finally found him.
Seeing Victor had brought emotions so deep and painful, harder than ever before. The anger, bitterness and hate he had carried for so long were still there, but they were just a cloak masking something much deeper: regret, and the aching sorrow of missing the only friend who had ever truly accepted him.
He didn't know what to do with this realization as the only logical thing was to finish what they started, to undo each other and finally end the cycle of violence and destruction they'd been trapped in.
Yet... the cycle could also end if one of them finds the strength to walk away.
Victor now had someone who cared for him, someone who needed him. And if there was one thing Eli could do to start untangling the mess of his life, it was this: not finishing the job. He didn’t need to kill Victor to keep the cycle going-- he could just... stop.
Despite he didn't like the girl, Sydney deserved more than being dragged into their destructive need for revenge. Maybe this was how he could finally start making things right, by not repeating the same old mistakes. Because, after all, he now felt regretful hurting the girl in the first place.
In the end, it was she who brought him back to life, and not God in whose name he hunted her down.
And so, he left. It was the only thing he had the strength to do.
The first time he hit someone was in a bar.
A man had told him to 'take it easy', and Eli's fist had lashed out before he could think. The sharp pain in his knuckles and the satisfying crack of the man's jaw were a revelation. For the first time in years, the searing pain in his body didn't go away -- and it made him feel alive.
Pain. Heat. The buzz in his head.
Everything he’d been numb to as an immortal now cut through him like shards of glass, and Eli reveled in it.
He kept drinking, pushing himself further and further. The alcohol burned going down, the heat spreading through his chest, the warmth crawling through his veins.
And oh, how he missed that.
It was one of many things that his immortality had taken from him, as the drink was incapable of affecting his immortal body. Now it burned in his throat and numbed his thoughts, and he welcomed it.
The fights in bars became a habit. He'd provoke anyone - drunks, thugs, men twice his size. It didn't matter if he lost. It didn't matter if someone got killed, himself included. Sometimes, he'd throw the first punch; other times, he'd let someone else lose it and swing before he got his vengeance.
Funny, he wasn't even a fighter, but chasing EO's down through the years, made him learn a move or two.
In the end, he'd stumble into the night hours, blood dripping from his split lip and swollen knuckles. His laughter echoed through the empty alley, wild and unhinged.
Days became a blur, and in his rare moments of clarity, when the alcohol wore off and the bruises throbbed, his mind returned to Victor. His image, sharp and cold as ever, still haunted Eli.
Oh, he haunted him in his drunk state too, but he would numb it down with fights. A few times, he even hallucinated that he saw him in one of those bars.
... He wondered if Victor ever thought of him. If he ever regretted.
If he ever missed him...
Sometimes those were his last thoughts before he blacked out.
Victor found him one night in an alley. The blond has indeed followed him for a few days, observing from afar.
Eli was slumped against a wall, head tipped back. His knuckles were split open, bloodied, his lips swollen. His usual handsome features were bruised and pale, a huge dark circles under his eyes.
And yet, he smirked when he heard the sound of boots approaching. He knew it was him - heh, it was always 𝘩𝘪𝘮.
Victor Vale stood before him, his expression as cold and calculating as ever, pale blue eyes gleaming with something dangerous.
''Well, well...'' Eli tried to laugh but his throat was too dry. ''The Frankenstein monster himself -- returns! Here to gloat?''
Victor stepped closer until his tall figure was looming over Eli. His gaze swept over him, his stoic expression turning into one of disgust.
When he spoke, his voice was low and cold, cutting through the air like a knife.
''This is what you've become? I expected pathetic, Eli, but this? This is a new low, even for you.''
Eli's smirk faltered, but he masked it with a bitter laugh, only for it to turn into a cough.
''Nice to see you too.''
He pushed himself to his feet, swaying a bit.
''What do you want, Victor? Came to finish the job? It took you long enough.''
Instead of the pain which he expected to come his way, he was met with silence.
And he hated that. The dark hues glared in Victor's direction, but before he could add anything more, the other finally spoke.
''You’re a liability. Stumbling around, getting drunk, picking fights. How long before you get yourself killed? Or worse, someone drags you into my mess and makes you my problem again?''
Elis's grin twisted into something sharp and venomous, eyes burning.
''Maybe getting myself killed is the point. Wouldn't you want that s--''
Before he could finish, Victor’s hand shot out, grabbing Eli by the collar and slamming him against the brick wall. Eli grunted, his head snapping back, but he didn’t fight. He just laughed, low and bitter.
''Go ahead,'' the brunette taunted, his breath reeking of alcohol. ''Finish it. Do it now. Save us both the trouble. I'm too wasted for this shit anyway...''
Victor’s grip tightened, his face inches from Eli’s.
''You think this is redemption?” he hissed. ''Wasting away in alleys, getting drunk, picking fights you can’t win? You’re not even trying to fix yourself and the shit you made. So unlike you, 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘭𝘦.''
Eli’s laugh cracked, face twitching as he deadnamed him, a strange kind of pain threatening to claim him.
''Fix myself?!'' he spat. ''There’s nothing left to fix, Victor. We're both broken beyond repair... You think I can just walk away from everything I’ve done? From everything I am? You told me yourself-- I'm not divine nor blessed. All I ever was, was a science experiment!''
Victor stared at him, his expression unreadable for a moment, until a small smirk played on his lips. He eased his hold on him.
''You’re not walking away. You’re running,'' he said, his voice cutting. ''And you’re not even good at it. As for a science experiment, you surely ended up as 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘦.''
That was it.
Eli snarled, shoving Victor back, and just like every day in his life for the past few months, a fight erupted. It wasn’t calculated or precise, like the battles they’d fought before. It was animalistic, messy, and fueled by years of anger and regret.
He threw a punch that caught Victor in the jaw, but Victor retaliated with a brutal knee to Eli’s stomach.
Eli gritted his teeth, pain searing through him, but the rush of it made him even more desperate. He slammed his fist into Victor’s ribs, hearing a crack. Victor’s face twisted in a snarl, his hands grabbing at Eli’s collar and yanking him off balance. They both tumbled, twisting and thrashing, each struggling for control.
Victor’s knee dug into Eli’s side, pushing the air out of his lungs. Eli gasped, his vision blurring, but with a burst of adrenaline, he threw Victor off him. They both scrambled to their feet, breath ragged and erratic. Blood trickled down Eli’s lip, and Victor’s cheek was already swelling, but neither of them hesitated.
The two circled each other, eyes burning with rage, the heat of the fight building as they exchanged strikes. Every punch felt like it could be the last, but neither was ready to back down.
Eventually, what felt like an eternity, Victor’s punch missed, his movements sluggish, and Eli barely raised his fist before his body gave out. They both staggered, too tired to continue, and with a final, exhausted grunt, Eli collapsed to the ground. Victor followed, both of them lying there, side by side, too drained to move, their breaths ragged and bodies aching.
''You didn’t have to come,'' Eli muttered after awhile, his voice hoarse.
Victor turned his head to look at him.
''Neither did you,'' he said simply.
''I didn't find you because of the kindness of my heart, Vale.''
''Glad we agree on something for a change, Ever.''
Eli scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping him, his chest hurting, but yet, he felt oddly at ease.
''Why didn’t you just fry me, then? You still got the power.''
Victor smirked, only to end up wincing in pain.
''Where’s the fun in that? You were already a mess. I'm saving it for our grand finale.''
They sat in silence for a moment, the tension slowly dissipating, though their bodies ached with every breath. The alley was damp and reeked of rot, but neither of them seemed to care.
For all their scars and rage, this was what they knew best - each other, their endless push and pull. Partners? Maybe not. But something in the silence reminded them of what they once were, or what they could’ve been, if they hadn’t destroyed everything.
Finally, Victor pushed himself to his feet, brushing the dirt from his coat. He looked down at Eli, his gaze sharp but, for once, not truly unkind.
''Get up, Eli. You’re not done yet. Not when I say that you are.''
Eli stared up at him, something flickering in his eyes, defiance, maybe, or hope. Slowly, he climbed to his feet, swaying slightly but standing tall.
Victor didn’t wait for him to speak. He turned and walked away, his footsteps echoing in the empty alley.
But this time, Eli followed.
i believe the first thing Eli would do if he ever became 'mortal' again is get drunk
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kyojurismo · 2 years ago
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▸ REQUEST. @fairypoison requested for yandere giyu and yandere gyutaro (sfw)
▸ ANSWERING. my drafts got deleted twice *laughs hysterically*, but we made it at last. i hope you won’t mind me putting both of them in a unique post… it also took me long to post it bc it’s my first time writing for them in particular and also because it’s my first time writing something yandere, so i was even more insecure lol. hope you enjoy it <3
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▸ FANDOM. kimetsu no yaiba
▸ CHARACTERS. giyu tomioka x gn!reader, gyutaro (upper rank six) x gn!reader
▸ RATING. sfw
▸ WARNINGS. yandere!giyu, yandere!gyutaro, obsessive & possessive behaviour, overprotective tendencies, mention of kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, bleeding + if i missed something please tell me!
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YANDERE GIYU
giyu planned your kidnap meticulously
you were scared at first and avoided speaking with him, but he wasn’t violent or rude to you; he gave you time to get used to stay at his mansion
he took care of you pretty well, he was actually proud of himself. the first time you tried to escape he treated you like a child, “what if you got hurt while running?” and “running away in the night, that’s so silly.”
it goes without saying, you tried to escape almost every day in the beginning, taking every opportunity
but when you got hurt one time, the bleeding from your leg’s wound stopped you from trying to escape giyu and you were actually glad he was there to help you
he asked shinobu to check on you, trusting her around you
he was surprised you didn’t try to ask her for help or something. you even said you were sure giyu would take good care of you and there was no need to come to the butterfly mansion
he realised you had stockholm syndrome but didn’t take advantage of that, he respected you and treated you as he always had
doesn’t let a soul hurt you, would it be physically or verbally. not on his watch. he wouldn’t hesitate to kill for you
you enjoy cuddling and love holding giyu’s hands almost every moment. you love feeling him close, it makes you feel safe
*cough* separation anxiety *cough cough*
“i promise i’ll be back soon,” you know he truly mean it but still you’re scared for his life and you can’t bear the thought of not seeing him anymore. “giyu-sama…” you’re always crying when watching him leave. he would hug you close and kiss your lips snd forehead, making sure you feel his love for you
whoever meet you while giyu is on a mission would say that you look sad and are as quiet as him, but the moment he’s back you shine like a star and starts rambling about how much you missed him and felt lonely without him
giyu is so jealous of the others, especially of sanemi. he would flirt with you for fun, just to tease him, and it would make giyu mad most of the time. but you kindly tell sanemi that you want giyu and giyu only, that you two are happy and he should leave tomioka alone
giyu was a bit taken aback, sanemi wasn’t expecting that reply and you noticed both him and tomioka cheeks were a bit flushed
would compliment you day and night, love seeing your beautiful face every single day. you make him happy with your presence
“we’re gonna stay together forever, that’s a promise.”
YANDERE GYUTARO
douma found you first
okay imagine he wanted to eat you and he loves playing with his food. you found yourself badly injured, bleeding on the floor with a few broken bones
gyutaro usually ignored douma but the moment his eyes lay on you he felt like he had been struck by a lightning
he had to protect you with his life.
he literally jumped at douma and smashed his head, then rescued you
he asked lord muzan to keep you alive without turning you into a demon and he let him do as he pleased
(would have kept you even if muzan said no, he just wanted to freely show the others that you were his)
you never tried to escape, but mostly because you couldn’t even get out of bed at the beginning. you were pretty injured
daki was jealous because her brother was showering you with attention, he took care of you and was always by your side. once she accepted your presence she promised to protect you at all costs too
above all, akaza was the only one to state clearly that he had no intention in hurting you or eating you, so you weren’t that scared when he was around
now, gyutaro always thought men were evil and he had to protect you from them. he simply justifies all the killing saying “they want to hurt you, but i won’t let a soul hurt you. it’s a promise.”
at first that scared you, because he was merciless… but the idea that “all men are evil” started to get inside your brain and you got used to it & simply ignored it
gyutaro usually holds your hand when you’re out, but if you can’t walk side by side he usually holds your kimono and stays close. he makes sure you know he’s there and that he’s watching your back
he doesn’t let anything slide. he sees someone talking shit about you? they’re gone. staring too long at you? gone gone gone.
he thinks you’re the most beautiful person in the whole world and it’s his job to protect you and make sure you’re safe.
he’s always– literally every single moment, around you. if he’s busy for lord muzan orders he leaves daki with you so you’re not alone
you still miss him a lot but at least daki distracts you, she’s actually of good company and you love spending time with her too
you don’t realise gyutaro is a yandere, and gyutaro too doesn’t knows what’s going on so… you simply think that it’s in his demon nature to be and act like that
“i’ll always stay by your side, gyutaro-sama.”
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▸ BEFORE LEAVING. reblog and comments are really appreciated, it would help and keep me motivated. i hope it wasn’t too bad, i’m super insecure about it ngl. thank you so much for reading my works !! bye bye <3
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yuukei-yikes · 2 years ago
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shintaro and kanos toxic relationship can be something so deeply appealing because of how horrible they are for each other. like. kano having to analyze his actual emotions towards shintaro and shintaro also finally giving in to the im bisexual crisis and also dude youre aware thats your dead girlfriend’s little brother right? also something something kano getting upset with shintaro and using his eye powers to turn into ayano just to hurt him. theyre unhealthy. they make me absolutely insane ok sorry if this was unintelligible in ur inbox lmao
RIGHT but ALSO IT COULD EVENTUALLY TURN INTO SOMETHING HEALTHY... like ofc a lot of clownery has to go on before and that clownery is so so so so so so much fun to explore. but i do think they're capable of getting to a point of a peaceful relationship despite it involves mutual compliance/resignation with both each other and themselves that leads to WOW eventual happiness and contentment with each other. it gets to a point where they aren't together out of their own gratification but bc they LIKE EACH OTHER AS PEOPLE AND YEAH THEY ALWAYS DID BUT THEY NEVER LIKED EACH OTHER MORE THAN THEY RESENTED EACH OTHER BUT NOW THEY DONT RESENT IT THEY JUST LIKE EACH OTHER AND THATS ENOUGH(holds head) bc "well i guess we deserve each other" and it is still sad but...not so much?? idk if that makes sense. but like... Healthy peaceful kanoshin (explodes) like they're arguing and getting all on each other's faces and the Dan's like can u stop fighting and theyre like ?? that's just how we talk though we arent fighting? and they rly arent. ppl who have never been in a loving relationship (not necessarily romantic by the way) with this dynamic wont understand but it IS possible. *shakes you*
idk ive read some stuff where they're so tooth rottingly sweet to each other and i just can't see it💔 i think they can have rare tender moments ofc and they DO but then both act super awkward despite they're in a relationship LOL like they can have 1 tender moment then turn around and just sit there holding hands and awkwardly scrolling on their phones idk idk idk (goes crazy) or they just tease each other abt it or whatever. i think they both rather show affection physically rather than verbally?? i think kanos super touchy. shintaros like do u have to sit here (shot of the completely empty couch aside from shintaro sitting on the edge and kano pressed right beside him) and kano's like wdym. kano's always with an arm around him even if hes shorter. hehe. its so normal shintaro gets used to it so kano just casually throws himself on his lap and shintaro's just like lifting his arms to give him space and never looks away from his phone *destroys all my pillows shaking them like a dog*
not me getting into love language territory. sorry. whatever. idk what all of them even are i think there is 5 but kanoshin is NOT words of affirmation. i think both want them but can't handle hearing it. like yeah they flirt (it IS cringe) but man idk i just cant imagine them being super outwardly sweet to each other... like their flirting is super cringe its the oh REAAAALLY?? kind of flirting not HEHE... kind. DO U UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING OR AM I INSANE
sorry u sent an ask abt toxic kanoshin and i answered with fluff THATS NOT TO SAY UR WRONG. UR TOTALLY RIGHT. BUT I THINK THEY CAN GET TO A GOOD POINT TOGETHER AFTER A LONG CIRCUS MOMENT i just felt bad i kept using them as punching bags everytime i talked abt them... and they are both so capable of love. they are so capable of love that is why they suffer like they do(holds head) they deserve to flirt and be silly i think. tender kanoshin *world explosion*
BTW u mentioned dead ayano. dont get me started on dead or alive ayano for str thats another subject (quickly: dead ayano is a more meaningful end but AYANO I LOVE YOU so i always keep her alive in my post str stuff) kanoshin can work even if ayano lives‼️‼️‼️ ALSO COME ON THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH FUNNIER
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green-socks · 4 years ago
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Hungry Eyes chapter 5
Pairing: Benny Miller x OFC (Dirty Dancing AU)
Summary: Dirty Dancing but Benny is Baby and the dance instructor is a female OC, Jolene. Benny goes to a holiday resort with his family and somehow ends up spending his time dancing and falling in love! This part is practicing the famous lift and like Eye of the Tiger training montage type moments.
Words: 2.1k
Warnings: None.
Notes: This fic is my own little world where I go when I need to. What you see on paper is only a bit of what happens inside my head, but it is what it is. I try. Inconsistent af about posting this bc my muse is a very "it's for me to know and you to to find out" type of gal, so I just follow her lead. Right now she's saying dance, Benny, dance, so he dances. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 4 | MASTERLIST
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The next few days continued with more dance lessons whenever they could.
Benny had experience with working out. A lot. He pretty much did that for a living, after all. So he knew he shouldn’t get frustrated when some new bit of information didn’t immediately stick to his mind. And yet it was hard to keep himself from stressing out, because there was a time limit, and he didn’t want to let Jolene and Patrick down.
They had the steps mostly down already, now it was about getting the routine to look like dancing- tying the steps together as fluid movement. Jolene kept saying that it was about the feeling, but Benny was having some trouble with that. It wasn’t easy to try and express feelings while all his brainpower went to focusing on remembering where to step and where to look and what to do with his hands at any given moment.
On the fourth day of practice Benny finally started letting loose, and he noticed he was actually having sort of fun with it. They had had a whole lesson on how to feel the music and let it guide you as much as your muscle memory. Apparently, the music told when there was room to breathe and where to be precise and hit the right accents. Jolene made him practice same bits over different songs to make him focus on the different beats. Once he got the feel of that down more, it became easier to make the whole choreography flow better.
Patrick also came in to help them practice and fine-tune the performance, since he knew the part better than Jolene did. Benny had some trouble with turns and keeping his form at first, but his fight training combined with Patrick’s tips helped with those. Some parts were truly starting to go well, and it was beginning to come together. They were extremely sweaty and exhausted all the time, but happy to be making progress. Benny’s legs were tired, arms tired, feet blistered - “dancer’s feet,” Jolene told him - but despite all that he was having a great time. He thrived on the challenge and physicality of it all, it made him feel alive.
He did still feel guilty about spending less time with his family, and instead spending late nights working on the choreography and occasionally popping into the entertainment crew’s parties. Most of the crew had really taken a liking to him, and even Patrick was slowly warming up to him. Only Jolene was still a closed off, not really volunteering anything personal about herself outside of the dancing they did. They still got along fairly well - they understood each other. They both had a strong work ethic and their teamwork got results.
But their teamwork wasn’t always smooth sailing, of course.
One of the parts Benny was struggling with was a serious and tender moment in the beginning of the choreography that required them to be very up close and personal. He couldn’t stop snickering and making jokes or just bursting out laughing and not doing it properly. Jo got annoyed at him for that, because she thought it was a stupid thing to be stuck on, and she had felt a little like he was somehow mocking the choreography, making it seem silly. But the truth of it was that Benny was a bit afraid of how intensely he would feel things if he let himself be completely serious and truly try to live the moment, be vulnerable. He didn’t know if he could keep his emotions in check.
-
There had also been a small argument on the fifth day when Benny had complained about a part he didn’t like in the choreo, and Jolene was having none of his sass. The frustration and stress had started getting to her, and she had snapped at him about not taking it seriously enough and not learning quickly enough.
And Benny had bit back, “Hey, I’m doin’ this just to help you and your friend! And we haven’t even tried to go through the whole thing yet, we haven’t practiced the lift at all, so how do you expect me to get it all if I can’t have the full picture?!”
Jo had seethed at him, breathing heavily for a moment, until she had said, “Fine. You have a car?”
--------
That’s how they had ended up borrowing Benny’s brother Will’s car to drive to a place where they could practice the troublesome lift.
Jo had most of the day off, so she decided now was a good time to go and work on the lift, since it would be best to practice it outside the resort. Benny made jokes and laughed at her when she had to adjust every setting on the seat and mirrors of the car to suit her much shorter frame. Jo was used to hearing jokes about her height but somehow, she didn’t mind them from Benny. She found herself surprised at how easy she felt in his company, the argument from before long forgotten already. With the radio playing and both of them joking around, she started driving toward a secluded beach nearby.
Jo noticed that it was much easier to talk with him now that they were alone together and removed from the context of training for a moment. She found herself opening up about her background in dance, how she had started and how her dream was to open her own dance studio someday. She also told him about her family, how she didn’t see them often because her younger brother was in college far from her and her parents had retired and moved to Australia. Benny was a surprisingly good listener, letting her talk and asking questions, seeming genuinely interested in her. Before she knew it, they reached the destination.
-
Under normal circumstances she would have started with some balancing and trust exercises, but they were past trust exercises, and Benny’s fight training meant he had great balance, so she decided to jump into the thing itself right away.
“Okay. We’ll just- go for it. I’ve shown you the video of what it’s supposed to look like, I’ve shown you where you’re supposed to put your hands and everything. We’re good to go, right? Or do you have any questions?”
“No.. I think I know what to do in theory, at least..” Benny says, rubbing his beard nervously.
She took a deep breath. Okay. There was nothing to it but to just try, it would be fine.
But after tumbling down to the grass a few times Jo realized it wouldn’t work, because they were both holding back for fear of falling. She was afraid of Benny not being able to lift her and then hurting him when he had to bear the brunt of the fallings. And Benny in his turn was scared of hurting her. There was also the added difficulty of their height difference - Benny would have to lift with his legs a lot more, and she would have to adjust a lot from what she was used to with Patrick, too.
So, they would have to make sure the fall was less scary..
“What if we get into the water? It’s safer to fall down there at least,” she suggested.
“What? You serious?”
“Yeah! What, you scared or something?”
Benny rolled his eyes at her childish taunting but shrugged and started taking his shoes and shirt off.
When she had first met him a few days ago, she had dismissed him as just some random dude crashing their party - a seemingly pleasant dude, sure, but nothing special. But now, given the opportunity to admire his back and arms without having to focus on being a dance instructor first, she couldn’t deny the view was very.. inspiring. She had seen him shirtless before because they did work up quite the sweat dancing in the summer heat, and the guy seemed very comfortable with his body. It was different, though, in this new environment and this new, more relaxed energy between them. It was a nice change of pace, truth be told.
Benny started opening his belt and Jo stopped in her tracks.
“What are you doing?”
“If you wanna deal with my brother when we return his car with the seats all wet, be my guest, but I learned to not get any fluids on his car seats when I was sixteen,” he said seriously, shaking his head while pulling his jeans off.
“…You know what, I’ll take that chance. I’m keeping my shorts on,” she said, thinking of the not-covering-much-at-all underwear she had on.
“It’s totally fine, I have a hoodie you can sit on. Plus, he wouldn’t even know how to be mad at you,” Benny smiled.
They got in the slightly chilly water, Jo determinedly not looking at Benny until they were deep enough.
-
“Alright, let’s try again!”
The added support of the water was a big help, and after a few tries they managed a perfect lift for a moment until Jo lost her balance and dived into the water.
“Yes, yes! You did it! That was so good!” Jo shouted after she resurfaced. “I lost my balance, but you did it!”
Benny’s eyes seemed to light up, and the next few times he tried even harder. Jo had noticed during practices that Benny was good at following orders when working out, and that he responded to her stricter coaching really well. But she had also noticed that when she praised him, he seemed to get an extra boost of energy, and usually performed even better after that. It was as if the hard training kept him focused and sharp, but a few compliments helped free his creativity more. She wanted to keep the compliments genuine though, and not overdo it.
They still ended up underwater more often than not, but they were starting to get the hang of it at least. They were both tired and had wet hair plastered to their faces as they stood there catching their breaths before a new try.
Benny brushed his hair back from his eyes in the way men do in commercials and Jo found herself staring. He looked unreasonably good like this when she was sure she was a total mess. His blue eyes were shining brighter than the water, and the droplets on his chest made her eyes follow their trajectory downward. Oh boy was she staring. How to stop, though?
“Hello?�� Benny’s voice was trying to pull her out of her thoughts. “Jo?”
That was the first time he had called her that, and not her full name. She lifted her head to meet his gaze again, and she was sure her face greatly resembled a tomato.
She didn’t know what to do to save the situation when she was so obviously caught ogling. So she splashed him.
Benny spluttered. “Oh, really? That what you wanna do?” he asked with a big grin.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Jo said, and splashed him again.
“Sweetheart, you’re gonna regret that,” he laughed, and started swimming after her.
Then it was a mess of screaming, laughing, splashing, trashing, and wrestling in the water. Jo was breathless from laughing and the exertion, and she couldn’t remember having that much fun in weeks. She was no match for Benny’s strength, though. He caught her, lifting her up and threatening to throw her back in the water. (Which was essentially what they had done all evening, but this was a different situation entirely.)
“I surrender, you win!” Jo managed to shout out through her giggles.
“Hah, told ya!” Benny gloated as he lowered her back to stand on her own legs.
Suddenly it hit Jo how near each other they were standing, and how very little clothing each of them were wearing, especially Benny. And this was no training situation anymore.
She cleared her throat, avoiding his eyes. “One more go with the lift?”
“Yeah, yeah, sure.”
But the sun was already setting, and it was getting chilly, so they only tried a couple more times before calling it a day.
-
They drove back to the resort, Jo sitting on Benny’s hoodie to protect the car like he promised. The radio was playing again, both of them still making jokes and talking, but this time there was also a different kind of tension in the air. Tomorrow they would have time to practice a little during the day and then it would be time for the performance. But Jo wasn’t sure the tension she felt was just performance jitters.
--------------------------------------------------
tagsies: @writeforfandoms @starlightmornings @lorecraft @niki-xie@salome-c @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @sgnjimmy @marvelousmermaid @velocibee @killyspinacoladas
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graceslavenderhaze · 4 years ago
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fight night  (jatp crew x reader)
readers home life hasn’t been the best and they’ve been lying to their friends about it. one night it all builds up and the reader shows up to julies, distraught. ( for this the boys are alive bc it just worked out best but other than that no changes.)
this has been sitting in my drafts so i thought i’d post it
trigger warning: family fights, anxiety, depression, past talk of eating disorders.
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For a long time you use to just keep everything buried down. That was your fatal flaw. It wasn’t a trust issue, you just always had this feeling that if no one knew then everything would be fine. But your family had lately been falling apart, your parents always seemed disappointed in you, you were fighting with your siblings more and it felt it a ballon that kept on expanding. you didn’t know when everything was going to explode it just kept getting worse.
Today was the exploding point. It seemed like no matter what you did, it just wasn’t good enough. You were the black sheep in your family, they made you out to be it. They complained about how you dressed, what your room looked like, the music you played, the people you hung out with, and for what? You didn’t do anything that was textbook problem child material. 
You tried your hardest in school, you never asked for much, you cleaned almost everyone’s mess at home, and after a while that became your routine. Never be seen, never be heard and never get any credit for everything you do. Meanwhile your siblings, little miss perfect and the star academic got everything you wanted. Your parents attention, their approval, and their constant reassurance. 
By the time you were in high school, you were emotionally independent. A stranger to your own family pretty much. You went to an art school along with your siblings. Even as the oldest, you quickly fell into their shadows. Your sister a musical protégé on the violin, your parents paid for the best lessons, and without a doubt she’ll probably attend some ivy league. Your brother was in the advanced academics program, with yale and harvard already offering him scholarships in his sophomore year. Then there was you. You were in the art program, and while your teacher swears that all the top art schools have you on their radar. You still felt insignificant.
You worked a weekend job at the local coffee shop, latte love , it wasn’t everything but it helped pay for art supplies for you to build your portfolio. Their you met Julie Molina and Flynn Davis. Two girls who were your age, they attended the music program at your art school. You recognized them, Julie had been like the sun at the school. In the hallways always smiling and then her mom died, the sun went away hidden behind clouds. While Flynn was unapologetically herself and didn’t backdown from telling people how things were, she was fearless. They were also probably the first two people who knew your siblings and were able to separate you from them. 
Then later on in the year the three of you met Luke, Alex and Reggie. Latte Love was hosting its monthly open mic night. It was almost a year after Julie’s mom died, so in an attempt to coax her back into music, Flynn brought her around. You offered free hot chocolate on the house as a bribe if she wanted to come. After an hour of mainly middle schoolers trying to face stage fright, soccer parents who desperately tried to hold onto their high school garage band phase and any other mediocre act who gave it their all in effort. Sunset Curve preformed. 
That night honestly sent all six of your lives’ into a full spiral but in the best way. A month after you had met sunset curve, they formed a band with Julie and became, Julie and the Phantoms. Flynn becoming the band manager and you being the artist for ticket designs, posters and anything else. It helped distract you from everything going on in your life and with your friends you didn’t feel left out or the black sheep. You were you and they loved you for all of it. 
But you could only be happy for so long. Your family always managed to make you feel horrible about yourself, this week had felt like the worst its ever been. Your sister being recruited for a summer symphony in Australia, your brother would be off at a stem camp and your summer plans were just to work, make art and hang with your friends. Your family wasted no time in telling you that you were wasting your time, or that it was just some silly childish thing. They didn’t understand how big Julie and the Phantoms were becoming. The latest gig being opening for panic at the disco at the Orpheum. 
You couldn’t take it anymore, which is how you ended up walking to Julie’s house right in the beginning of a thunderstorm. When you finally made it to Julie’s front stoop you were drenched head to toe. Julie being the one to pull you in the front door. In her oversized smiley face sweatshirt and baggy sweats. The movie night dress code.
“Did you walk here?” She exclaims looking at the outdoor storm and turning back to her best friend. Your eyes red from crying and cheeks raw from wiping your tears rapidly. She’d been expecting you for weekly movie night, especially since her dad and brother had been away for a baseball game for the weekend. Just not in this state.
“More like swam.” You replied with a dry laugh. Trying to desperately hold yourself together. Knowing your friends were all in the living room, you didn’t want to burden them with your breakdown. 
“Hey was that the chinese food! Y/n? Whats wrong bean?” Flynn stated her mood changing halfway through the sentence noticing the state of their best friend. Who looked like she’d just had the world’s worst day. You smiled fondly at the nice name she’d given you, which was a coffee pun. 
“Family shit. Like always.” You said looking down at the floor and the puddle that you were slowly dripping onto the Molina residence’s welcome mat. Both girls smiled sympathetically, they had their fair share of stories of how bad things could get at the L/n household. 
“Come on! It’s movie night, you’re getting into cozy clothes and having junk food with your friends.” Julie said taking your hand and leading you upstairs to her room. Julie handed you spare clothes due to you being completely soaked. Then a towel to dry yourself off.
“Here, once you’re ready to come downstairs, we can put your stuff into the dryer.” Julie said smiling at her friend before leaving to give her privacy. Taking the towel she gave you and trying to dry your hair. Then changing into the cozy clothes she gave you. Your phone blowing up from texts from your family. Your parents wanting to know where you were. Not caring how hurt you were. Your siblings saying half assed apologies they didn’t mean. They’d done this before and they’d do it again. 
Ignoring the messages, you walked back downstairs. The comforting smell of chinese food wafting at you. Julie, Alex and Flynn stood at the table. Meanwhile Luke and Reggie were were at the local 7/11 getting slushies. 
“Did anyone order a hot mess?” You said jokingly getting their attention. Alex standing up and instantly hugging you as if he’d never see you again. Hugging him back. Alex’s hugs always felt as if it was a cloud. 
The Molina residence house phone then rang, the caller id labeling your house. “We can just let it go to message.” Julie said turning back from the phone to you. You shook your head, “I’m so over this bullshit.” Walking over to the phone you picked it up. 
“Hello ever so loving parental unit.” You said with sarcasm dripping off every word. “Pop off!” Flynn said as she bit into a dumpling. You bit back a smile. “Where are you? You can’t run out because you’re upset.” You heard your mom say. You rolled your eye. 
“Where i am every friday night. I told you in advance i had plans so when you take your attention span off miss perfect and genius boy remember you have a third fucking child. Goodnight!” You said promptly and then hung up placing the phone back on back on its home base. “Beyoncé would approve.” Flynn said clapping for dramatic effect.
“How much trouble are you going to be in for that?” Alex said passing your usual that Julie knew to order for you, you shrugged. “Bold of you to assume they’ll remember to ground me.” 
“Wow what a rag tag group of mommy and daddy issues we are.” Reggie announced as he placed the tray of slushies down on the counter. “Excuse you!” Julie exclaimed as she took a slip of her blueberry slushie. “She’s dead, that’s an issue.” Flynn said as she grabbed her green apple one. You choked on your food for a second, “Out of pocket!” 
“She’s right babe.” Luke said hugging her from behind. “You have mommy issues too.” Julie said turning around slightly. “Only the hottest people have both mommy and daddy issues!” Alex exclaimed holding a hand of for you and Reggie to high five. 
“My back hurts from having a healthy parental relationship and carrying that standard.” Flynn said cracking open her fortune cookie. You laughed looking around at your dysfunctional friend group. 
“We are all going to hell for these jokes alone.” You said taking a sip of your slushie. Reggie scoffed, “We’re just warming up.” 
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reynauldapologist · 5 years ago
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Beau + 99? Or maybe Vvulf + 17? 🤔
@nandashibs i did both! hope that’s okay :) also, i’m seriously beginning to think that you’re a psychic. how the hell did you know which songs would fit them the best??
apologies for any weird formatting or typos. i wrote all of this on my phone. putting it under a readmore bc this got a bit long.
Beau - Bloody Mary by Lady Gaga
(for anyone who’s unfamiliar, Beauregard is a HWM oc from one of my fics)
Hieromania, but make it silly:
Love is just a history that they may prove
And when you're gone, I'll tell them my religion's you.
Beauregard felt like he was breaking in. He knew he wasn’t - the Sisters had made it clear that the abbey was open to all, at any hour - but he couldn’t help but feel as though he was invading a sacred place, tainting it with his mere presence. It didn’t help that he had decided to visit so late at night. He’d been in churches before, sure, but the small stone chapel of his childhood seemed almost blasphemous next to this lofty place.
Big fluted pillars and a ribbed ceiling stretched above him, so high that the light from the fluttering lanterns posted at regular intervals along the walls couldn’t reach it. His breath caught in his throat. Small. He felt so small. Like a mouse scuttering along beneath a moonless night sky, waiting for the harsh scrape of an owl’s talons against his back. The altar rose at the end of the sanctuary, old and opulent, surrounded by hordes of lit candles, framed by blood-red tapestries. Beauregard crept forwards, hardly daring to breathe, unsure of what he even meant to do there. Statues of saints lined the small alcoves between the grand stained glass windows. Some wept, some stretched their hands out like beggars, some clutched at weapons, and others cradled their dismembered body parts.
Beauregard shivered. How could anyone relax in a place like this?
A door squeaked open at the end of one of the transepts. Beauregard stopped, frozen, crouched low before he could think of what he was doing. He slunk down one of the rows, as silent as a shadow scudding across an open field.
Great. As if you didn’t already look like a robber…
Heavy footsteps coming closer. His eyes darted around the sanctuary, searching for a more permanent hiding place. They fell on a statue of a man without a right hand and a knife in his left. If there was space behind it...
A shadow stretched along the far wall, made grotesque by the weak lighting.
It’s now or never!
He slipped into the gap between the statue and the alcove. It was a tight fit, and it was dusty, but it was doable. His nose was less than a hair’s breadth away from the back of the statue’s neck and his arms were twisted oddly to account for its form. Awfully intimate…
The footsteps echoed strangely off of the stone walls, making it difficult for him to pinpoint exactly where they were heading. Beauregard focused on his breathing. Slow and steady, in and out through the mouth. Beauregard couldn’t see what was happening around the statue’s head. Surely it was just the abbot, or one of the Sisters, there to check on the candles… No worshippers came here this late. Right?
Wrong.
The footsteps stopped. Directly in front of his alcove. Out of all of the alcoves in the abbey...
Now, Beauregard was certain that the Light must truly exist. There was no other explanation for such a cruel joke.
The rustle of clothes. A deep sigh.
“O Saint Dismas…”
Beauregard knew that voice.It was Reynauld, the old crusader.
...Saint Dismas?
“...patron of repentant thieves, I humbly beseech thee for thine guidance.”
Beauregard’s nose began to itch.
No. Oh, gods, no. Please.
“I have faltered once again. Forgive me for my weakness, my repeated transgressions.”
His eyes were watering. His mouth was opening.
I’ll do anything. I’ll convert. I’ll become a monk. I’ll never so much as glance at a tavern again, please, don’t let me-
“I have taken-“
“AH-CHOO!”
It was like he had fired off his flintlock. The sneeze echoed for far longer than it had any right to. The silence that followed was deafening.
Light, if you’re out there, have mercy and strike me down now.
As the seconds trickled by and it became clear that Death would not be paying him a visit anytime soon, Beauregard forced himself to break the silence.
“I…er...” Beauregard swallowed. “...forgive you?”
“Beauregard? Is that you?”
“Who’s asking?”
Another heavy sigh. A groan and a rustle of clothes as Reynauld got to his feet.
“Come out, lad.”
“A-Alright, listen, I can explain-“
“Now.”
Beauregard disentangled himself from the statue. Reynauld had his arms crossed over his chest and a severe expression on his face. Beauregard ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck.
“What are you doing?”
“I… Well, y’see, I was on a walk anyways, and it’s awful cold out there, and windy too, and I thought-“
Reynauld held up a hand. Beauregard shut his mouth.
“No. What are you doing hiding behind Saint Dismas?”
“Uh… I was… Trying to get closer to the Saints?”
Reynauld stared at him. Beauregard hunched his shoulders, ready for a lecture.
Reynauld started to say something, paused, and cleared his throat. He let out something like a rolling grunt, his shoulders bobbing up and down.
He was… laughing? Beauregard relaxed and allowed himself a cautious smile. Reynauld shook his head and covered his eyes, little hints of teeth peeking out between his bristly beard. He inhaled sharply, then broke out into full laughter, leaning his head back. It bounced off the walls, low and hearty, but cracked around the edges, as though his throat was unused to making the sound.
Beauregard chuckled along, equal parts relieved to have avoided being chastised and delighted by this new side of Reynauld.
“It’s an unorthodox form of worship,” Reynauld said, still grinning, “but better than nothing.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your prayer. I just… I heard someone coming and I… panicked.”
“All is forgiven.”
“I’ll… um... leave you to it.”
“Are you headed back to the barracks?”
Beauregard nodded.
“I’ll accompany you. My heart no longer feels so heavy. Contrition can wait until the morning.”
As they left the abbey together, Beauregard turned over the statue in his mind. What an odd coincidence. Had Dismas’s parents named him after the saint on purpose? Who would name their child after a mutilated man who oversaw thieves?
“Reynauld?”
“Hm?”
“Who was Saint Dismas?” he asked, slipping his hands into his pockets. The cold air nipped at his cheeks.
“Oh, that’s quite a story,” Reynauld replied. “One best told in front of a roaring fire, I think.”
Vvulf - Take You Back (The Iron Hoof) by Orville Peck
uh oh it’s self-indulgent modern au time 😳
I've been around this world and now everything's a bore
I don't know that much, but I know about keeping score
And if there's one thing I know for sure
It'd be a long cold day in Hell when I take you back
“I knew you’d come crawlin’ back.” Vvulf blew smoke out through his nostrils. It formed a hazy wreath around his face. He leaned back in the ratty chair. “Sure as the sun rises…”
Dismas was sweating. And not just because he was stuck in the cramped, windowless backroom of a bar, in the dead of a sticky summer night, with a man nearly twice his size. It was one thing practicing his speech in front of a warped motel mirror, it was another thing entirely to face the real thing. He sucked in stale air between his teeth.
“I’m not crawlin’.” Desperate for something to do with his hands, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his leather jacket. He flicked it open and pushed one between his lips.
Vvulf smiled, cool and thin. Dismas repressed a shiver.
“Bit late for pride, ain’t it?”
Dismas lit his cigarette with trembling hands. He puffed on it slow to get it going. He sucked down a burning lungful, held it, then blew it out of the corner of his mouth.
“I didn’t have to come here, y’know.” A lie. He wouldn’t be here if he had any other choice. “I’m doin’ this as a favor to you.”
“A favor to me?” All traces of humor left his face. “You got a lotta nerve showing your face around here and talkin’ like that, boy.”
Boy. Dismas bit back a snicker. He was pushing forty.
Dismas shrugged. “If you don’t wanna hear what I got to say, fine. It’s your damn funeral.”
“What do you want?” Vvulf tapped ash off the end of his cigarette.
“You could stop puttin’ hits out on me. That’d be a start.”
“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about...”
Dismas raised his eyebrows.
“...but I’ll see what I can do.”
Dismas nodded. Alright. He might actually swing this.
“That all?”
Here we go.
“I want protection,” he said plainly. Beating around the bush would just make Vvulf angry, and even less likely to grant his request. “He’s after me, too.”
Vvulf stared at him. Then he laughed. Harsh and mocking and gravelly. Like hail drumming against a tin roof. Sweat trickled down Dismas’s back.
“Don’t act like I ain’t ever put my neck out for you,” Dismas said, raising his voice to be heard over Vvulf’s laughter. “I’m just askin’ to borrow a safehouse for a couple weeks, until all this blows over, that’s it.”
“You got some serious balls on you, boy, I’ll give you that.” Vvulf took a hard drag off of his cigarette. He spewed the smoke at Dismas. “You dumb son of a bitch. What makes you think you’re leavin’ here alive at all?”
Dismas’s gut hardened. This had been a mistake. But what other choice had he had? It was either this or give up the ghost and turn himself in at the nearest police station. Anything was better than getting collared by the Widowmaker. He eyed the door over Vvulf’s shoulder. His gun weighed heavy at his hip.
“Now, here’s how I see this playin’ out.” Vvulf batted aside his denim vest, exposing a holstered pistol. “You can either tell me everything you know right now, and I’ll end things quick, or I could take you out back to the shed and get you nice and acquainted with a car battery, and then you tell me everything you know. Right before I gut you like a pig.”
“You know… Neither of those options are all that appealin’ to me.” Dismas shifted in his seat. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d taken Vvulf head-on in a fight. In a tight space like this, though, he didn’t like his chances.
“I had a feelin’ you’d say that. Which is why, as an acknowledgment of our long history together, I’ll open up a third option.” He grinned. “Just for you.”
Dismas clenched his jaw. He should’ve expected something like this…
“On one condition.” Vvulf stubbed his cigarette out on the sole of his boot. “You gotta beg for it.”
“Go to hell.
“After you.”
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meanminyxrd · 5 years ago
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punchdrunk but it’s andreil based
hey losers i’m back with another song analysis, as always. i have a playlist for my andreil vibes if you’re curious, here it is. i actually have a lot but this one is for my slightly sad yearning andreil vibes. 
anyways, today we are covering punchdrunk by vaines. i really really enjoy this song for them and i hope i can covey it!! let’s go (:
I remember driving your car 'cause I never had one
And if I did I probably would’ve crashed it
And if I died who would’ve cared?
Maybe you would cry sometimes
Maybe you would just be fine
Because I know we weren’t in love
You just wanted to pass the time
(And that was alright)
the first line of this is pretty black and white. neil driving andrew’s car <3333 that’s it that’s the tweet. when he’s saying he’d crash one if he had his own its because he has to destroy a lot and leave stuff behind because of his past. he constantly is working to hide his past from the FBI. furthermore, he thought he was going to die for the majority of the books, and when he died, who was supposed to care? he had no one. it was this ‘me, myself, and i’ mentality because that was what kept him alive. he was constantly in danger, and when he was with andrew that’s why he made him take away the promise; he didn’t want andrew hurt because of his actions. by saying ‘maybe you would cry sometimes, maybe you would be just fine’ shows how he doesn’t think andrew actually cares ab him because 1. neil is an oblivious fuck and 2. andrew is a raging tsundere. andrew is always like ‘i dont like u’ blah blah, explaining the line ‘because i know we weren’t in love you just wanted to pass the time’ but neil was okay w it; ‘and that was alright’
I got it bad and I feel so lonely
Thought I wanted love I just wanted you
Now we’re together but you don’t even know me
But I’m stuck, what am I gonna do?
uhhh, like, poor fuckin neil man. he really had it bad for this man i really dunno how he survived when andrew was in the mental hospital HAHA. but fr he must have been so lonely, never allowing himself to make attachments, and then he makes this really skewed one with some midget maniac and then that same man goes to a hospital. that can’t have been a fun time (and it wasn’t).
‘thought i wanted love i just wanted you’, god, i love this line. remember when he looks at nicky and matt to see if he feels anything different? sees if he feels attracted to them, but he doesnt? he thinks he’s just craving affection after all this time, but no, its andrew he craves, it’s andrew he wants and chooses.
‘now we’re together but you dont even know me’ this motherfucker is living behind this silly ‘neil’ persona for a time when he’s with andrew and andrew only has this red headed man built of half truths. ‘now im stuck, what am i gonna do?’ he can’t run away like he’s used to because now he cares about andrew and he’s promised to stay.
Guess I’ll stick around
Being with you is only making me feel
Like I’m further from you then I’ve ever been
But I’m right there when you call me 'cause I’m so lonely
I don’t wanna bring it to an end
now, neil stays because he promised andrew he would, and andrew makes him feel so different and special and happy. but also while he’s with andrew he feels so far away because he isn’t being himself and andrew keeps denying whatever this,,, scuffed relationship is. but whenever andrew initiates contact, asks him yes or no, tells him to meet him somewhere or do something, neil is THERE in a heartbeat because he’s so caught up with the idea of andrew and he doesn’t want what they have to ever end even tho he’s convinced it will, one day, come to that point.
I remember feeling so young
Nothing's gonna bring me down
And if you jumped I would’ve followed
All the way down to the bottom
Better days are over now
Everything is slowing down
And you still won’t say it’s love
You just wanna pass the time
Fine
being with andrew brings him up, makes him happy, makes him FEEL something. nothing was gonna take him away from that. he would have followed andrew anywhere because he quite literally trusted andrew with his life. but the good days are over, (cut to baltimore) he’s being fucked up by his dad’s men and he thinks he’s gonna die then (cut to post baltimore) andrew does all this shit for him but STILL says he doesnt care ab neil and he just wants to pass the time. and neil is like, fine, what the fuck ever. if this is just a cheap fuck then by god im going to enjoy it while it lasts. and he’s starting to think andrew might feel *something*, but there’s no confirmation that can be seen by our lovely oblivious lil man.
Don’t stop, I know that it’s not what
I want but I need somebody to be mine
Oh god, I can’t tell you what’s up
I’m so deep in punch drunk, dumb love
I don’t ever wanna wake up
he doesnt want to be tied down. trusting someone and staying in one place for a long time? no. no way. that’s not something that neil abram josten does. he does not stay, he does not trust anyone, and by god he does NOT fall in love. but he gets to a point where he needs andrew. all he can think of in the hospital is the foxes and andrew, god, ANDREW, the prick he’s fallen in love with and can’t get out of love with. and he begs andrew to let him stay (post baltimore, hotel scene) because he NEEDS to stay, he NEEDS the foxes but more importantly he NEEDS andrew. but he’ll leave if he has to. he’ll leave if andrew asks him to because he cares more about andrew than he does himself, but he can’t explain any of this to andrew, because he’s never felt this before and he doesnt know what he’s even feeling. he just knows that somewhere along the line he fell head over heels into this situation for andrew and god he doesnt think he’ll ever be ready for it to end.
Got me brainwashed, everything is hazy
Am I killing time? Are you killin' me?
Mind games daily, why do I let you play me?
Do you get high watching me bleed?
(Now I’m bleeding out)
this part, for me, is more so a cut to the first book when andrew is just fuckin manic 24/7 because of his drugs. he drugs neil (brainwashed, hazy) and kidnaps him. neil is so stressed out by this situation that he doesn’t know who is winning in this stupid war he has with this psycho midget (am i killing time? are you killing me?). we all know andrew joseph minyard LOVES to torment neil even when shit is chill so he plays mind games with him constantly, and neil just lets it happen, because that’s who neil *is*. nathaniel wouldn’t stand for this shit, but that’s not the personality he’s portrayed and he isn’t eager to break character; not yet. and andrew always is so damn HAPPY, no matter what, bc of the drugs (again, first book for this verse). so the ‘do you get high watching me bleed?’ is like neil being like, do u really enjoy watching everyone around you hurt?? are you actually happy with all of this?
Running in circles while you hurt me, guess I deserve it
'Cause I just keep on worshiping you again and again
And I’m there when you call me 'cause I’m so– *beep*
I don’t want the misery to end
this part is a little tricky to explain canonically, i guess, but i attribute it once more to andrew denying his feelings. nora never explains it in the books, but i know from experience that this is SUCH a confusing scenario to be in. to have someone acting like they care and speaking differently. and neil must have been so confused (running in circles) but he feels he deserves it because it isnt like he’s trying to leave or anything, and he’s always there when andrew asks because like it or not, he’s attached. even tho this confusion sucks sometimes, and the whole hearted belief he has that andrew really does not care hurts beyond belief inside, he buries those feelings because he isnt ready to let andrew go.
that’s pretty much all of it; can you tell i’m obsessed with andreil?? i just love them so much. they’re so special to me. like, i dont think either of them ever saw a relationship coming; it just happened, and that’s what is so inherently beautiful to me about them. it started with a kiss, a ‘yes or no?’ and escalated from there. neil expected one day andrew was going to get bored of him, just like andrew always said he was. but he never did. he never will. 
so yeah!! hope u enjoyed xoxo see y’all soon <3
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slurrmp · 6 years ago
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           all you need to know about spyro’s original characters:                                            oc: tanaka matheson                                        fandom: star trek/doctor who                                                  status: semi active.
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THE BASICS
Name: tanaka devonne matheson Nicknames: ana, bear, annie Gender: female Pronouns: she/her Sexual Orientation: bisexual Age (actual age): 42 31 Place of Birth: lithgow, new south wales, australia Citizenship: australian/american
                                                  APPEARANCE
Age they appear: early twenties to mid twenties Hair colour: brown Hair style: mostly always either straight down, or in a ponytail. Eye colour: green Birthmarks/scars/marks: two inch scar above her eyebrow, multiple on her shoulders, one across the underside of her belly due to a c-section. burn marks on her lower back and some on the back of her left hand. scar in the centre of her right hand palm. Piercings: ears ( double lobe, helix, auricle ) Tattoos: tiny devil horns on her shoulder blade.
Build (curvy, toned, etc): unusually tall for her family, can seem a little bit lanky, but ana is muscled, was trained to wield a sword and even a gun when she was a teenager. Weight: around 65kilos Height: 5′7″ Clothing style: mainly jeans and a top, never really seen in anything too fancy unless the occasion calls for it. tracky pants and a sweat shirt when lazy around the tardis. mainly comfy clothing, when not in uniform. Overall appearance: always seems like she’s got some place to be. is never seen without sneakers on her feet.
Trinkets/jewelry: a locket that her mother gave her before she died. her father’s dog tags. Equipment/accessories (things they are never without; ex: a backpack or a notepad) baby bag. seems ridiculous but those bags can hold anything and everything in them. talk about the doctor having never ending pockets. when ana brings her baby bag with her, you know there’s important shit in there.
                                          INNER WORKINGS
General mood: ana was raised in a military family, she has her moments were she can be fun and silly, but she is mostly a rather serious person, who wants to make sure that everything is going well. especially when she has her kids. Mental state (any mental illnesses?): ptsd is strong with this one. with her world being plunged into darkness and being separated from her father when she was only 6 years old. then being dragged into another universe and across time. it gets to a person. ana has also suffered from post natal depression. Alignment (neutral good, chaotic evil, etc): chaotic neutral Morals: big family morals. she end up being torn from her family, so she wants to make sure that she always keeps hers safe. Temperament: very much known as the runaway throughout the galaxy. time and space have even heard of her.
Quirks: chews her lower lip. picks at her nails. twirling of her hair (that’s the one that annoys HER the most) Pet peeves: when people separate their families.
Strengths: extremely loyal. patient. kind. strong. Weaknesses: her family. her friends. it’s rather strange how easy it is to manipulate her.
Fears: death. Intelligence: ana never got the chance to even GO to high school. everything that ana knows was learnt through her aunt and uncle. when ana was pulled into another universe, and she managed to get herself settled with jack at torchwood, she applied at the local university (thanks to a couple of faked documents by the doctor) and was able to studied midwifery.
Priorities: her children. Desires: to see the entire universe. all the way to the beginning of time, to the end of it. Likes: engineering. which is strange - she wanted to help people, but just fixing things became a thing for her to do to get her mind off of stressful times. Dislikes: not being with her father anymore, not even being with her family.
Vices: can be too serious at times. always thinking about her family instead of the needs of many others.
                                           RELATIONSHIPS
Friends: significant friendships, the doctor, jack harkness,
Family: Miles Matheson ( FATHER, MIA. ), Tamara Wayne ( MOTHER, DECEASED. ), Taylor Matheson ( TWIN, BROTHER, ALIVE. ),
Significant other: there uh ... there’s been many. but at the moment, there’s none.
Kids: Ethan Matheson ( SON, ALIVE. ), Grace Matheson ( DAUGHTER, ALIVE. ), Lucas Matheson ( SON, ALIVE. ), Leah Matheson ( DAUGHTER, ALIVE. )
Enemies: many of the same enemies as the doctor, they really have a knack for getting her into trouble.
                         EMPLOYMENT AND EDUCATION
Jobs: works for torchwood. star fleet officer. Profession: midwife
Income (if any): it all depends on where she is at the time. at home on earth in the 21st century it’s about 28 000 pounds.
Furthest education: university. Degree (if any): bachelor of medicine (midwifery) cardiff university
                                   EXTRA INFORMATION
Criminal record: there’s just too many to actually add.  
Social media accounts (if any): instagram, snapchat bc snapping the torchwood group while away with the doctor is a lot of fun.
Reputation: ana’s known around the universe as the runaway. it was said that even though she had the skills and the talent to slay her enemies where they stood with her sword, ana would runaway - just like the doctor had taught her. it doesn’t help that in the future Q flaunts her around the galaxy and too star fleet.
Skills: extremely talented with a sword.
Talents: ana can actually play the piano rather well.
Hobbies: no time for hobbies. though - seeing the universe might be considered a hobby.
Special abilities (if any): spending enough time on the tardis weird things might happen.
Transportation: the tardis mostly, but when she’s home in the 21st century ana would use one of the torchwood cars
Living conditions: an apartment in the heart of new orleans. it’s such an obscure place to live, but all of her kids loved the french quarter, it’s basically the base of operations for the matheson clan.
Pets: a black cat called salem and a dalmatian called snoopy.
                                               AESTHETIC
Colors associated with: pastel blue, teal, aqua, a lot of different blues. Their personal aesthetic: the pitch blackness and the smattering of stars when looking out the window. watching the stars zoom past while in warp speed. Song that suits them: KLLER QUEEN - QUEEN
╳ BIO:
there has always been something about tanaka matheson. she had always been a special child. when she was nine years old, three years after the blackout, she left with her aunt rachel, away from her uncle ben and cousins, charlie & danny to find her way back to her father, a general of the monroe militia. she learnt the basic skills to survive, becoming one of the best swordsmen in the entire militia just like her father. she was still too young when she returned to miles to be apart of the army, but that did not stop ana from wanting to learn everything there was to know about swords and how to become an amazing fighter like her daddy.
she learnt more about how to run and fight than simple maths. however, miles made sure that she was well educated when it became obvious she liked to travel with him when he WENT on long tours than to actually learn basic rules - eventually when ana was thirteen (13), miles made sure that ana stayed in school, which sometimes included him taking the men in the middle of the night so that he didn’t wake her and cause her to stowaway in the carriage.
season one of revolution plays out normally - just with the addition of a twenty year old ana being incredibly protective over miles and charlie.
life seemed to be going smoothly until one day she found a crack in the wall of an abandoned hospital they were squatting in. this crack in the wall caused her to fall into another universe. it was a crack in time and space - it should have SWALLOWED her whole and erased her from reality, but instead the crack spat her out on the other side, in a different universe, on a different planet, IN a different time.
she never really thought about the consequences of her absences back on the other side, miles was in hysterics that not even nora could calm him down from - he searched high and low for his daughter, only to come up empty six months down the road. she was considered K.I.A and miles was more ruthless than ever before.
ana had no idea where she ended up or HOW the hell she got there, but it was on that planet that she met a man called the doctor, a girl named amy pond and a woman called river song. they all seemed to know her rather well - it was explained that time travel was a funny thing. from there - she fell into one adventure that felt like it would never end, until abruptly it does. one of the - ALIENS, a weeping angel, snagged her around the wrist - but it didn’t kill her. they had been KILLING PEOPLE all day, snapping necks instead of feeding on their life energy, at least that’s what the doctor told her they did but this ONE - this ONE angel didn’t kill her, instead it shoved her FURTHER into the past. but why this one angel ? no one could really answer this question, not even when ana finally reached the moment in time the long way around. this time instead of landing in a cave on an alien planet, she landed on the lap of one captain jack harkness in world war two, london.
it was from there that she met the doctor again, but this time he looked different - looked older and a girl called rose tyler from there - she was pulled into ANOTHER crazy adventure, but to earth, though the date, they told her was 2005. it hurt ana’s brain to try and wrap around the fact that she wasn���t born yet but she was still her fully grown self. twenty years old and in a different time and universe.
it was from there that ana grew to love the doctor, jack and rose - up until the time the doctor left jack in the year five billion and ended up regenerating, a move that ana figured he was trying to avoid her questioning, all on christmas day (and her birthday) (21). it was something that time lords could do apparently, and it was from there at the beginning of 2006 that ana found herself twenty one years old and alone. not wanting to travel with a newly regenerated doctor, not after leaving jack stranded in the future and the fact they had been butting heads almost the whole time he had been awake. it was only the beginning of february that ana stumbled across torchwood and captain jack again.
this is where ana’s timeline gets a little complicated - ana and jack find themselves getting a little bit closer - a lot close as they become intimate (on multiple occasions) and it’s only a few months later (half way through season one) that ana finds out she’s pregnant. but it’s an event that attracts the wrong kind of attention (madam kavorian had her nose out early on) however, ana runs back into the doctor again, who is suddenly with a new companion after her and jack have an argument one afternoon - he was getting close to ianto, she wasn’t mad that he was, just mad that jack never told her about it. she was four months pregnant and had already been on a ship that was crashing into a sun, in the early 1900′s with a doctor who was human and stuck in 1969 with no TARDIS. it was during the year that never was that ana gave birth to a healthy baby boy, ethan. born july 15th 2007 (22) aboard the valiant.
ana didn’t continue on with the doctor and martha when everything returned to normal and the master had been stopped. she had a baby to look after and a captain that wouldn’t slow down - during the year, they had gotten closer once more - ana forgave jack about keeping lanto a secret and who knew maybe the three of them could work something out (they never did). but it was during the winter of 2010 (23) that ana lost her son. (leaving out the events that occurred during children of earth and miracle day) ana was left alone on earth and that’s when they struck.
the headless monks - the silence and madam kavorian, she wanted to take a child born from an immortal and a human to see if she could transform him into a weapon, see if he had gained some of his father’s powers of immortality - it was the worst night of ana’s life, and the first thing that she did was call the doctor (who had regenerated yet again), crying on her bathroom floor almost throwing up due to the fact that her son had been taken right from under her nose. the floppy haired doctor made a promise that he would find ethan for her - find her son. during events of season six, there’s other shit that involves my time lord oc, oliver plus finding out that there’s a version of herself in this universe, though she was born a boy, called taylor plus another baby, this time a girl (25), season seven is split into two, ana being around during the power of three but not for the ponds last goodbye, she was dealing with family issues at the time.
it was only on ana’s birthday at the end of season seven, just before the doctor regenerates, that the crack in space and time appears again on christmas (the planet), pulling her in - yet again she doesn’t get erased or forgotten. clara seemed to think it was the time lords trying to keep her alive.
landing on the grassy ovel of star fleet academy in 2255 (just turned 26). this kind of anomaly - that seemed to like throwing her throughout time and space - attracted a lot of attention. the continuum caught wind of ana when her appearance in the universe caused a stir in the timeline. this was the moment when she met Q. no stranger to time travel, thanks to the doctor, ana was only worried about the fact that she had no way of getting home - it was then that Q managed to distract her with trying to create a fake background for her which would allow her to join star fleet and end up becoming a member of the USS enterprise, to fight the battle against nero (28) & khan (28) in the next five years.
it was during the short break between khan’s attack and the battle of yorktown that ana was whisked away from that certain timeline - all because Q was bored with how things where going, calm and boring and no fun at all. keeping her backstory and her star fleet academy degree ana was placed on board the USS enterprise yet again, however the year was 2365 (still 28) and this timeline was completely different. run by jean-luc picard, Q introduced ana in a rather horrible way.
it was almost two full years of Q and ana getting each other into trouble, whether it was with the rest of the universe or mostly amongst the enterprise crew, however, during the events of Wolf 359 (30), ana is assimilated along with captain picard. after the event and ana was back to ‘normal’, the continuum decided to throw ana away from Q, who was banned from seeing her and even knowing where she disappeared too.
ana landed on board the NX-01, the very first space bound enterprise.
spending almost exactly three years (33) of her life on board, Q managed to find her after she was almost fatally wounded on one of the away missions, which included a run in with the xindi. Q, who was having his run ins with voyager and her crew at the time, dumped her in the delta quadrant where ana spent the next three years (35) once more on board a ship, where she grew incredibly close to the crew and the captain. the australian certainly had a habit of doing so, even with her rank of lieutenant and being only a nurse.
it was then that she stepped in and demanded to be taken back home, to her time - to the crew she first became close with, the aos crew, to which natasha a lady Q who had felt sympathy for ana’s situation, being the most notorious Q’s plaything and threw her back on board the 1701 during her second year of the five year mission. which leads into star trek beyond and also helps the fact that ana knows the main antagonist of the movie (37).
now this is where it gets complicated once more - ana does manage to find herself back on 21st century earth. but because she had been affected by the time vortex, the continuum and just being a time traveler as well - ana’s body still registers as a healthy 31 year old - while with some help of borg nanites that had to remain in her body, other wise her respiratory system would have shut down and she would have suffocated to death, which helps her to regenerate a lot faster than most humans. season 9 & 10 of doctor who occur.
REST OF BIO TO COME. WILL INCLUDE DS9, SEASON 11 OF DOCTOR WHO & DISCOVERY SEASON 2.
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