#bc is it just him being selfish and wanting her to admit she's not as committed? not willing to go that far?

[crepuscularqueens]

"unless there's something else keeping you here" was such a sick line like he already knew. he knew she was involved with eleanor he saw max care for her after her fight with vane and lead her upstairs he knew something was there so why ask? what is he after?

is he trying to assess how committed she is to their plan? is he trying to get her to flinch away from it? is he waiting for his reflection to tell him this deep unshakable truth? what is he trying to come to terms with why does the camera linger on his reaction when he sees max show affection and care towards eleanor.

[orcelito]

I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.

Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...

I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...

[strwberri-milk]

Hello! Can I request an angst Sylus x reader ff where the princess reader and Prince Sylus are in an arranged marriage and he really hates her also because of the rumors her fake friend made. The reader is cold on the outside but a very loving and sweet inside. During their 1 ½ year as a married couple, Sylus didn't acknowledged her as his wife but she does as her husband. One day, tables turned....Sorry for my English 😭

urgh i think you're wanting a fic from this which if i were to do this it would hoenstly end up being 5k</a long fic for which i aim 40k words for minimum and i mean this with all the kindness of my heart - i do not have the energy to do that for free so i hope youre okay w the typical hc style im doing!! also i changed some of it bc i dont see sylus making judgements of people based off what hes told

Sylus had long given up on the idea of doing things for himself wholly. He didn't have the ability to do things for just himself, selfishness the last thing on his mind with the status he owns. That's why he didn't object too much to being married - even if it was to someone he doesn't know.

Your first meeting was all business. He didn't mind at all but everybody in the room could feel the temperature drop by a few degrees. The two of you set out the terms of the marriage cleanly, coming to an agreement in very little time. To him it seemed that the two of you are on the same page, making things that much easier.

To respect your boundaries the two of you sleep in separate rooms. He's always busy, going off to meetings or sitting in his office reviewing the immense stacks of paperwork he has. Despite that, you try your best to find ways to include yourself in his schedule.

The servants always make room for you when you pass by, allowing you to go as you please while whispering about what might happen if they didn't. You pay it no mind, knowing that you've always been seen as intimidating. All it did was secure you a perfect match in Sylus, so you couldn't really mind. You learned quickly what his daily schedule looked like, finding the smallest gaps to insert yourself simply by delivering refreshments or news that other staff begged you not to do as it was below your station.

Sylus was a little surprised at first but he took it well, greeting you politely and thanking you whenever you came in. He understood it as you trying to keep appearances with your marriage, despite it being very clear to everybody involved everything was just for politics. He allows you your vice, sometimes even making small conversations with you. He didn't think you had any ulterior motive with how brief and impersonal the visits were.

He learned later that you began baking the pastries for him through the grapevine. You didn't tell him yourself, worried that he'd think you were trying to buy his affection while all you really wanted was just a way to be closer to him without intruding. He thanks you by buying a new set of clothes for you, a short, yet sweet note of him thanking you for thinking of him.

He doesn't seek you out still, not until he hears you've come down with a terrible illness that the physicians can't quite place. Thankfully it doesn't seem to be fatal, just incapacitating. By now the staff have begun to warm up around you, quietly speaking amongst themselves about how much you miss being able to see Sylus . You've admitted that you know Sylus doesn't see you as his spouse but you think of him as your dear husband, even if your relationship is slightly more than that of acquaintances.

He comes to visit you, sitting by your bed and just. Talking. He doesn't address the fact that you're sick - you've heard it too many times at this point - and just tells you about his day. Asks you about yours, what you want to do next week and if you'd be wanting to spend some time with him. The way your eyes light up makes him regret not reaching out to you sooner but he has a feeling he's got more than enough time to make it up to you.

[zweiginator]

do u tbink reader and bsf!patrick would ever start hooking up but in like a fwb way? bc imagine….and wildly enough it’s HER who’s like ‘cant get attached’ blah blah blah. like it’s her being the one to make it clear that this doesn’t change anything, she’s completely platonic outside of it (well ok not really), she won’t think of them as dating even tho they practically are.

and it’s so obvious she thinks he’s not taking it seriously. assumes he’s going on dates. tries to not think ab it.

n eventually he just like loses it. points out how "it’s not fucking fair. you do all this shit to me, with me, and now you’re acting like i’m the crazy one for thinking we’re more than just fuck buddies? that’s all you wanna be? fuck off" and angry sex…..

NOT SURE JUST SOME THOUGHTS…

yes. youve seen patrick's ex girlfriends, how obsessed they still are with him. there is something so egregiously intoxicating about him--it scares you. truly knocks the wind out of you.

you didn't get it before you became friends with benefits. before you leapt over that line in the sand that had been toed over for year and years.

but that one night in september when patrick had just broken up with a girl, and you were feeling upset after yet another horrible date--you got it.

patrick comforted you that night. it felt selfish; you were upset about a guy you met maybe twice. he had just dumped a girl he thought he truly loved.

you brought up the idea.

"let's just be friends with benefits." you plead. the truth was that you were so curious about him. as he grew more and more and became a man instead of an immature little boy--you wanted to feel him.

"what are you talking about?" he didn't want to ruin your friendship. but thee truth was that he had broken up with his girlfriend because of a petty little disagreement. it was trivial, really. he told himself it was just pure incompatibility. but in reality, he resented her for not being more like you. nobody could be you--except for you.

patrick knew it would be complicated. for some reason, you figured it wouldn't be. patrick was always hooking up with and talking to new girls. it seemed like he had the no strings attached thing down pat.

patrick made love to you that night. that was the only way to describe it. slow, meaningful, deep thrusts, your legs wrapped around his waist. desparate for him to be closer.

his words were filthy. he spread your cunt open and cooed about how pretty it was. how it opened up just for him. how wet he had made you. so pretty. so perfect.

it made you cum. it made your nails dig and dig and dig into his back.

you understood how his exes turned obsessive. maybe not even turned.

so you vowed to never get too attached. to never ruin your friendship.

you never slept over at his place, and you never allowed him to stay the night at yours. no pillow talk or sweet nothings. no dates.

of course, these stipulations had loose definitions. and as best friends, it was inevitable to show appreciation to each other, to go out to an occasional nice dinner or impromptu lunch.

patrick was becoming more and more livid with you. you didn't know what had changed. he was more bossy in bed; he went from slow sessions of eating your pussy to slapping his cock on your tongue and commanding you: fucking suck on it.

of course, you liked it. you loved anything he did to you. but maybe you missed how sweet he used to be. you wouldn't admit to yourself why that was.

valentine's day was soon. and maybe patrick had assumed that you would be his date. he made reservations for you.

"patrick, what are you talking about? no, i'm not gonna be your valentine." you shake your head, taking his tennis rackets from him to shove in the backseat.

"what the fuck do you mean 'what am i talking about?'" patrick lowers his voice. "we've been fucking for like 6 months why are you acting like this?"

"exactly," you say. "we've been fucking. we haven't been dating. i told you this would be purely platonic when we started."

patrick scoffs, slamming the door. he's yelling at you now. "so you're just gonna act like i'm fucking crazy for thinking this is more than platonic when it is definitely more than platonic?" he forces the car into reverse, driving away angrily.

"you're mad because i'm keeping my word--no, our word."

"whatever." patrick spat. "you're full of fucking shit. acting like this hasn't been dating this whole fucking time. making me seem like a fucking idiot for thinking you liked me."

"i do like you-"

patrick seethes; the vein in his neck pulses as he parks the car. he's dropping you off at your apartment.

"get the fuck out. go home. this is over--all of it is."

you gather your things and get out of patrick's car. you have barely shut the door when he skids away. your breath is visible in the cold february air, but your body is hot, and stiff with anger and confusion.

you think he will break and call you first. but one week passes, and then valentine's day. and soon it's march and you haven't so much as seen patrick for almost a month.

it's stupid. you go to patrick's apartment. you look like a lost puppy dog.

he doesn't answer the door. you know he's home. his car is in the driveway, you hear music in his living room. maybe he's with another girl. maybe he really did move on.

you don't leave. it's freezing, and your jacket is light--it's not made for the dry cold that hurts at the end of winter.

patrick opens the door.

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

your lip wobbles.

"it's freezing out here what's your problem?"

patrick bullies you. he pulls you inside and wraps you in a blanket but sits on the opposite side of the couch. doesn't say a word.

you speak up; he cuts you off.

"i have nothing to say to you."

now you're begging. you're crying and the tears are stinging and you're on patrick's lap trying to get him to notice you.

"please pat, p-please. i miss you."

patrick grabs your jaw. he's stern. "this isn't how platonic friends act. this isn't how you fucking cry when you're just friends."

he's right.

you pull at his shirt. "please, i need you, i'll do anything. want you to be mine. i was so--stupid."

patrick is hard beneath you. he likes this.

"you're so fucking pathetic." he spits.

you get down on your knees in front of him.

"i'm so stupid."

"show me how much you want me." he pushes his sweatpants off; he's wearing no underwear. and his cock looks bigger. just as angry as he is.

you grab him into your hands and spit on his cock, moaning as you kiss it all over. lick him from his balls to the weeping head of his cock. suckling on him and hallowing your cheeks. saying im sorry im sorry im sorry.

he slaps his cock on your face. tells you you should be.

you feel how he pulses in your mouth; he groans as he pushes your face into his balls. you suck them into your mouth. your eyes water and your pussy drools for him.

patrick pulls you up. puts you on top of him. pushes your cunt onto his throbbing cock until you're gasping. god he's big and he's fucking relentless. you're not even moving and he's fucking up into you so hard you feel like you have whiplash.

but god, it feels so good. patrick pulls your hair, palms your ass, slaps your face. he rubs your clit and laughs at you. laughs at how much you're moaning. how easy you are.

"are you fucking sorry?" he asks. his balls slap against your ass.

you can barely get a word out.

"yes--i'm so sorry."

"tell me you love me." he wipes a tear from your eye. "tell me you fucking love me."

you nod, cumming right then. coating his cock in your slick, milking him.

"i love you patrick. love you so much. i'll never leave you again."

patrick cums too.

[inanshalla]

ppl attacking mythal as if solas is any better he used lavellan too (and by extension any inquisitor he had a friendship with)

he entered a relationship with lavellan KNOWING it was wrong from the start but did it anyway, his dialogue on the inquisitor wanting to pursue a relationship reflects this

he says “I’m not sure this is the best idea. It could lead to trouble”

if the inquisitor apologizes for kissing him he blurts out that she has nothing to apologize for or if she feels like she’s pressuring him after the kiss he says she isn’t at all he’s ‘perhaps’ just pressuring himself. He knows it’s wrong. Also his distance reflects that as well. He tries to pull away several times bc he knows it’s wrong and yeah he admits he was selfish for getting involved with her.

not saying he did it specifically to be a manipulative asshole I don’t think he’s some mustache twirling villain but in general one is less likely to see the faults in someone they are dating/in love with

just bc lavellan pursues him of her own volition (under false pretenses, mind you) doesn’t mean it’s less problematic especially because he’s being VERY vague about why it’s not the best idea to get romantically involved.

Also to add, the balcony scene that locks you in his romance, he’s talking about mythal but in so many words. He hasn’t seen the wisdom the inquisitor has since his experiences in the Fade… where he was a spirit and close to mythal.

“it would be kinder in the long run, losing you would be…” this man is talking about MYTHAL and her betrayal and death

it’s pretty obvious that he was seeing the inquisitor as mythal throughout inquisition if he has high approval/romance

[ashwhowrites]

Older! Rockstar! Eddie Munson x Rockstar! Reader, what if they have to do like a tour together, and they realize that they hate each other, like hate to share the stage, hate to spend time together, until the two of them end up hooking up after some drinks at some bar, then, they find each other being like all nervous with each other, because of what happened and bc they're catching feelings, but they hate each other, right? (You can write a tiny bit of angst for the "hate" part, smut and fluff!)

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun with this 🫶🏻 thank you for requesting

We got angst, we got smut and we got fluff

Rockstar love

Y/N was excited as hell when her manager, Samantha, told her she had a summer tour lined up. Y/N was a small independent artist and she couldn't headline a tour on her own, she was grateful for the opportunity to be an opener for one of the biggest artists in the industry, Eddie Munson.

She loved his music and she loved his style. Their writing dynamic was very similar and their music blended well. Even Eddie's manager couldn't pick a better person to open for him.

So Y/N was all packed up and ready for the summer of her life, on tour with someone that she admired. She couldn't possibly think of one bad thing to change her mind.

Well, that was until she met Eddie.

~

"Hi! I'm Y/N, I'm so ex-" Her introduction was cut off when Eddie's painted nails waved in her face.

"I know, baby. You are so excited to finally meet me, and you're my biggest fan. But I'm in a rush, so why don't you just give me your number and I'll call you tonight?" His smirk was so confident and smug. She couldn't believe he was this conceited.

She scoffed and crossed her arms. "Is that how you talk to women?"

Eddie blinked at her aggressive tone but shook it off. "Women? Nah, that's how I talk to my girl of the night. So interested or not? Like I said I'm in a rush for a meeting." He checked his watch, knowing he was meant to meet whoever his opener was going to be for his tour.

"Not. Nice to meet you, asshole." She gagged and walked off.

This summer started a whole lot worse than she thought.

~

"Eddie! Glad you made it!" Samantha said with a big smile, no idea Y/N already had a run-in with the man of the hour.

"I'd like you to meet Y/N, she'll be your opener for the tour!" Eddie's eyes switched over to the girl that sat at the table. He choked a little on his spit when he realized it was the girl from outside the building.

"Oh shit, you're my opener?" Eddie asked. He did not make a good first impression.

"I know, baby. You are so excited to finally meet me, but I'm in a rush so can we sign the contract and get a move on?" Y/N said, his words leaving her tongue in a sassy way that Eddie couldn't help but like and hate.

Eddie sent a glare her way but signed the papers.

After the meeting, Y/N was quick to leave. Eddie ran out after her, an apology on his tongue.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry for how I talked to you. Can I make it up to you? Maybe dinner?" Eddie asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

Y/N debated for a while but figured making amends might be better for the summer ahead.

"Dinner is good."

~

Y/N applied the final touch of her lipstick before she walked out of the small hotel room. Eddie's room across from her. She knocked on the door, waited, and waited.

She huffed when she checked the time and realized she'd been outside his door for five minutes. She gave up and went back into her room, figuring she'd just wait there until he came to her.

But he never did. After two hours, she heard his voice slurring in the hallway as he tried to open his door. She looked out the peephole and saw his arm wrapped around another girl.

She gave up on him immediately.

~~~

Half the summer was sour, they hated to be in the same room with each other. She knew she had a right to be pissed, but Eddie didn't. He hated her because she hated him. He never bothered to apologize or admit he was a selfish asshole. And that's all she wanted.

"Can you stop moving off your X? It's there for a reason!" Y/N snapped, she groaned as they had to stop rehearsal, yet again.

"I'm a rockstar! I'm meant to move around!" Eddie argued. He wasn't used to sharing the stage and he hated it.

"I'm one too! And in case you haven't noticed, I'm doing perfectly fine on my X!"

"You want a fucking gold star for being boring? Difference between an opener and the main show" Eddie snapped, Y/N didn't fight back. She just growled and began the song again.

~

"Y/N, THAT WAS SO GOOD!" Samantha cheered as Y/N walked off the stage. The first night of your was in the books and Y/N loved the way she felt on the stage. The crowd seemed to like her and she felt like she got them pumped for Eddie's set.

Even though she hated him, she looked his way for approval. After all, she was his opener and cared what he thought about his tour.

"Why the hell are you looking at me?" He asked, his guitar strapped to his body as he waited for his cue.

"I don't know. Just maybe thought you'd like to share your thoughts?" She said, a little shy that she had to admit she wanted to know.

Eddie was taken aback by the nervousness in her eyes, for once she looked vulnerable and not ready to shoot fire. But he couldn't give in, the hatred between them was too powerful and he refused to give in first when she chose to be a bitch towards him.

"I've seen better, you're nothing special." He shrugged and jumped on the stage as his cue was hit. The screams of the arena sounded muted as his words rang in her ears.

She marched off into her dressing room. She didn't bother to watch his set. Unlike him, she can admit when someone has talent and he doesn't deserve her compliments. Instead, she focused on the anger she felt and put it into a song. If he wanted special, she'd show him special.

~

Within a week, she finished the song and began performing it. It was full of anger and the crowd loved it. The music was loud and it shook the whole place.

Eddie knew the song was about him. She stood there, banging on her guitar as she swore about the big-headed men in her life. He was pissed, it was his tour and here she was bad-mouthing him to his fans. The fans didn't know it was about him, they just related it to a man in their life. But still, he didn't take the disrespect lightly.

And she didn't care. Ever since that first show on tour, she never asked for his thoughts again. She'd get off stage, place down her guitar, and walk straight to the dressing room.

It bothered Eddie that she never sat to watch his set, but he refused to let her know that he cared.

~~~

About a month and a half into the tour, they barely spoke. And if they did, it was to tear each other apart.

But when Y/N's new song was officially released and hit the radio, the crew wanted to go out to celebrate. And to her shock, Eddie showed up.

"I'd like to make a toast!" Y/N slurred, already a few shots in and the alcohol was taking over her body. The table raised a glass, and Eddie rolled his eyes. He might have been a little irritated by all the success she earned from a song that was about him.

"...and thanks to Eddie, the man who inspired the song. Thanks for being an asshole and treating me like shit. Cheers!"

Eddie bit his tongue as he took the shot in front of him, he didn't want to make a scene in a public place. He knew better than that. There would be cameras everywhere.

As the night went on, the more drunk she and Eddie became. The crew called it a night and left. Bad move to leave them alone.

"You know that I can't fucking stand you sometimes." Eddie hissed, trying to ignore the way her lips were wet and glossy from all the drinks she had.

"Yeah, I got the message." She laughed sarcastically. She hated how he got hot and had to throw his hair in a bun. With stupid curls hanging down to frame his perfect face.

"Why did you write the song? Just knew making money off me would be a career move?" He argued, the venom on his tongue was strong and she knew a fight was brewing.

"Oh fuck off. I'm going to the bathroom." She said as she rolled her eyes and walked off.

But Eddie was too mad to let it go. He followed her into the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

"Are you crazy!? This is a bathroom!"

"Answer my fucking question!"

"Yes, Eddie. It was a career move! You were a complete dick the second I met you and looked down on me all because I was an opener! I was grateful for the opportunity and now I realize, you are a selfish prick who only cares to get his dick wet." Her words were knives and perfectly sliced into Eddie's skin. Her eyes are dark as she gets in his face. Every word against his lips as he puffed and huffed.

The fire in his body with all the anger he felt. She stood tall and confident. Right in his face with no care in the world. Her lip snarled and her eyebrows scrunched.

"Jealous or something baby?" He smirked, he noticed the flicker of lust in her eyes before she remained unbothered.

"Of what?" She sneered

"The girl I took to my hotel room instead of you." His smirk was a target and she wanted to smack it off his face. He knew she was waiting and watching. And he had the nerve to never once apologize.

"Not. I like to end my nights with an orgasm." She said with a bitter smile, her hand reached behind him to grab the door but the growl that left his lips made her stop.

She looked up into his eyes and knew she struck a nerve. And she couldn't help but feel how wet her underwear became.

Before she could say another word, insult, or make a noise, his hot mouth was on hers. His hands dived into her hair as he took over her body. His tongue was in her mouth before she could blink. And she hated how easily she moaned.

Her body was against the sink as his hands scrammed to take off her jeans. He pulled away to unbuckle his belt and yank down his jeans, she took a second to catch her breath and remove her shirt. Her head against the mirror as his mouth attached to her chest, his teeth biting down on the flesh as she whined out.

She wasn't thinking, and she knew that. But his mouth felt so good and her cunt ached.

"Is that what this has always been about? Jealous I wasn't fucking your cute cunt?" Eddie teased, and he pulled away his mouth, which allowed her to understand his words.

"No, it's not. You were a dick the second I met you, and discredit me because I'm younger and newer to the industry. Don't flatter yourself." She scoffed. He was so big-headed and she couldn't believe he still didn't understand where he went wrong. "plus I wouldn't care about the girl if I wasn't waiting for you for dinner." She barked out. The hatred and anger filled her body again. Almost like it reminded her why she shouldn't be doing this. She pushed him back and reached for her shirt.

"Oh come on! Don't take it so personally. I forgot we had plans, okay?" He tried to defend but she was already throwing on her shirt.

"Forgot? Or decided that getting a quick fuck meant more?" Maybe in a way, she was hurt by the fact he completely shoved her off for someone else. She liked Eddie, and she always found him attractive and it sucked to meet him and see he was nothing like she thought.

"DO YOU WANT ME TO ADMIT THAT? Would that even make it better?" He laughed out, he couldn't believe it was even a big deal. "if I sat here and told you straight to your face that I wanted some wet pussy wrapped around me instead of sitting at a dinner with you, that make it BETTER? Huh?"

She shouldn't care, she really shouldn't. They weren't even friends and she had no reason to feel the burning jealousy in her stomach that someone got to spend the night with him when it was supposed to be her. She hated that no matter how much he made her hate him, she still felt something pulling her towards him.

She didn't have words, and she wasn't sure how to respond.

All she wanted was an apology

"Because that pussy was the best I've ever had and I don't regret it." He seethed out, and that struck a nerve in her. Apart from the jealousy and stupid high school games, he felt she wasn't worth apologizing to. She realized she'd never get that apology.

This time, she did go to smack the smirk off his face. Her right hand was high in the air as she aimed for his cheek, but his hand caught her. A deadly look in his eyes. They were breathing hard into each other's faces. She felt her cunt pulse, and he felt his cock pulse in his boxers, his jeans still on the floor.

She whimpered as he took control, again. He kept his grip on her arm, turning her around and pressing his cock against her ass. He held her arm behind her back, she was trapped between him and the sink.

No words were said, both relieving their aches as his free hand ripped off her underwear. The sound made her clench, then his fingers were inside of her. She moaned as he didn't care to be soft or gentle. Three fingers deep inside her cunt as his cock pressed against her ass. She moaned out and her head was thrown back into his shoulder.

His hand let her arm free, and she moved it to grip the sink, his fingers pumping inside of her. He was skilled, experienced, and knew exactly how to hit the right spots. Her head was fuzzy as she got lost in the feeling. With his free hand, he grabbed her chin and turned her head towards him. Her eyes closed in bliss as his lips touched hers.

His fingers moved faster inside of her as his lips tasted her. He felt the moan in the back of his throat as she clenched around him. His stomach flipped when her warm tongue worked inside of his mouth. He growled as her tongue dominated his.

The aching in his boxers became too much, he removed his fingers, smirking as she whined at the lost touch. But he was quick to fill her again, but this time with his pulsing cock. She moaned as she fucked into her. Nothing about it was romantic. It was heavy breaths, growls, moans, and the sound of their skin smacking. Her nails dug into the sink as he destroyed her. His mouth was on hers again as he moved his hips against her, loving the way she clenched around him. Her knees were weak when his fingers began to rub her clit.

She couldn't focus on anything except that burning feeling in her stomach and the build-up of her orgasm.

"Eddie." She squeaked, her hands moved up her body and reached behind her, feeling him underneath her fingertips.

"Shh, I know, baby. Let it go. I got you. Cum for me, gorgeous. Be right here." He said softly, she didn't think she'd ever heard him sound so sweet. She nodded as she gasped, letting herself go. She shook on his cock as she came. The relief she felt from every aching part of her body vanished.

She hissed as he slipped out of her, but she was fast to wrap her hand around him. Jerking him off as she looked in the mirror ahead. His forehead was against her shoulder as he breathed hard. His hands gripped her hips and he moved his hips to her rhythm.

"Watch yourself." She said, her tone demanding. He looked up, his blown-out lustful eyes took in their reflection. The sight of her hand wrapped around his red cock made his thighs shake.

He kept his eyes on her reflection as he painted the sink and her hand with his cum. He panted hard as she needed him off through it.

~

She washed off her hands and got dressed. Awkwardly handing Eddie his clothes.

He silently grabbed the jeans from her hands and put them on. He watched as she dressed herself.

"I'm, um, I'm sorry for the way I treated you and for ditching you," Eddie whispered, not to her but to the floor.

"Thanks, Eddie." She said, and she meant it. She knew that's all she would get. She gave him a small smile and walked out.

Where the hell do they stand now?

~~~

After that event, things between them got blurry. They found themselves feeling something different. Almost like they got out every bit of anger inside of them. Like the anger was just the first layer. And now other feelings were being revealed.

Y/N couldn't help but notice she was putting more work into her appearance. More makeup touches and asking for more sexier clothes for when she performs. She almost felt like she wanted Eddie's eyes on her all the time. Because she couldn't help but have her eyes on him.

Eddie couldn't help but stare whenever she was near. It was like his eyes automatically found her in the room and he couldn't get enough. He noticed things about her that he didn't see at first. He always found her attractive, but now it was deeper than that. He found a new favorite thing about her every day. He started watching more of her performances and found the compliments slipping off his tongue.

The air changed between them. Now they were nervous and didn't know what to say. They didn't talk about what happened but both wished that the other still thought about it.

They tried to ignore how nervous they were and how awkward it made things. Y/N felt like they both needed to talk about what happened to either go back to normal or discuss what was next for them because this situation was too weird.

It was nearly midnight when they made it back to the hotel after their show, Eddie went to head into his room when Y/N spoke up.

"Do you think we could talk?" She asked, the shakiness in her voice made it clear she was nervous.

"Uh sure," Eddie said, his nerves kicked in as he unlocked the door.

She followed behind and took a seat on the bed. He removed his shoes and then took the spot next to her. His shoulder against hers as he waited for her to speak.

"About the thing that happened," she started, already hating the conversation. Eddie coughed awkwardly as he stared at his hands. "I'm just going to be fully honest and I can leave right after. But, it hasn't left my head. I know it was full of hatred and anger. And it probably didn't mean anything and I didn't think it would. But it almost feels like I let out all that anger and now I'm left with other feelings." She admitted, slowly looking towards him to read his expression.

"What kind of other feelings?" He asked, he turned his head to look at her. He hoped she meant the same feelings he'd been feeling. The feeling of wanting each other again. And maybe wanting each other always.

"Feelings like that I like you and my stomach hurts when I think about all the girls in the crowd that want to go home with you." She admitted, looking down at her own hands as she blushed.

She was surprised when Eddie reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. He reached over and used his pointer finger to tilt up her chin. Her eyes looked into his as she anxiously waited for him to speak.

"I tend to be a dick so girls want anything to do with me after sex. But, I'm fucking grateful to hear you still like my dumbass." He joked, a smile on his face as she laughed. "Even though we had sex out of anger, there was something so real there and it hasn't left my mind. The way you pulled so much emotion out of me. I've never had someone do that. I like you too, and I'd like a chance to take you on a date and treat you the way you always should have been treated."

She felt her heart skip at his words, and a feeling of excitement bubbled in her stomach.

"I'd like that." She said as she tried to bite back her smile.

"Perfect, let's go right now." He said he stood up with their hands still laced.

"What? Right now! It's midnight!" She argued, her eyes looking to the clock.

"Don't care. I'm not wasting a second to take you out. The world is asleep, let's go have our fun before it wakes up ." He said with a wink, smiling as she stood up and together they ran out of his room like idiots.

Maybe the summer was finally looking up.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger

[lemonhemlock]

honestly it’s a bit annoying how people are bending themselves into a pretzel to justify this writing but are claiming that they’re somehow smarter for getting it like dude you can’t flipflop like if you think Alicent should be allowed to resent her child and get him beheaded cuz he was the result of marital rapr but somehow when it’s brought up of Alicent not the narrative acknowledges viserys being somebody that did that then it’s that oh Alicent is a character of that time so obviously she has buried that resentment deep inside but it’s the resentment conveniently reaches the surface when it’s time to press forward the rhaenicent ship.

I’m trying to be understanding but honestly what I’ve personally observed is that the only people that seem to love this are rhaenicent shippers and that’s it cuz how come oh all of this war was pointless and that’s the point all along but it’s like dude come on a character not acknowledging their grandchild was beheaded in their sleep is not an example of how well it shows the war is pointless cuz how is the mother of that beheaded child helping the man that got him murdered. How come the narrative doesn’t acknowledge that daemon did that and rhaenyra is still allowing that man back into her team like yeah let her do that but let the narrative acknowledge that she’s selfish for it and that she doesn’t truly care about what happened and what happened to helaena either.

I was willing to think people just have different interpretations and leave it at that before but the writing has become so blatantly biased that when people don’t even acknowledge that I genuinely feel like I’m being gaslit here like excuse me what

no, i totally get it and it is SO frustrating. bending themselves into a pretzel is such a good way of saying it. people love the IP and the asoiaf universe so much that they are willing to gaslit themselves that it's not bad.

but what's the point? it's bad execution after bad execution, a whole continuous string of them. you can't fundamentally change characters like that without making huge adjustments to the plot and to their fate as well - they won't naturally hit the same story beats! a character with show!alicent's personality would never do the things book!alicent did! a character with show!rhaenyra's personality is never going to do the things book!rhaenyra did!

they want to reconstruct these characters from the ground up, shove their dumbass life philosophies and first wave understanding of feminism in there, then NOT do any of the work that might allow them to depict an organic character arc. they still have to hit the same plot points, so ofc it's going to be circus-level flip-floping bc the motivations will not make sense if you change their core self so much.

this is especially evident with how the show REFUSES to admit viserys was a rapist. but at the same time implying so badly that alicent didn't want these children and is shackled by them. if she didn't want them, how did she manage to produce 4?? of them? who put those children into her body? if she didn't want them, then it was done against her will, no? can we examine that before we get to the point of gleefully handing them over to be executed bc you want to "be free"? no, ofc not, bc that would make viserys look bad 🙄 so how can you accept that supposed motivation of alicent's if it so half-baked? i hate it so much. and i hate it that people are going "fans are triggered by bad mother characters, but that's not feminist, women should be allowed to be villains and unpalatable on screen REEEEEE"

and another thing i find frustrating is this (mistaken IMO) attempt at a distinction between wanting explicit media vs media where things are left open to interpretation, and how hotd is supposedly the latter and we just don't understand that some people prefer having to fill in the gaps themselves. i don't want media with neon signs pointing if something is """"bad""""" or """""""good"""""". i am not asking for the booktokification of asoiaf!

no one in Succession is looking at the camera and saying "i am doing X thing bc of Y" and there are enough points where the show supports multiple interpretations, but the character work and attention to detail is stellar with similar amounts of screen time. i wish i could word this better but hotd does this annoying ass thing where it skips the fallout of important moments and then never addresses them, then pretends that's subtle character work instead of what it actually is: a lazy hack job.

i mean, honestly, i can't believe we ever complained about season 8 in the first place if these are the new standards. genuinely, i would encourage everyone to go back and re-watch those last episodes and make a bullet-point list about what's actually bad about them while trying to defend hotd s2 with the same arguments. because at least dany has a very clear, if rushed, progression there: she has a clear goal, an obstacle, suffers some losses she considers harrowing (an escalation), she is shown to be depressed and getting paranoid, there's a trigger point, she gives into violence and finishes off fanatical about her own self. where is the problem?

[judeswhore]

Thinking abt being stuck in an elevator with ex-situationship!Jude. Like a few months earlier, famous!reader ended it because she was taking it seriously and thought it was going somewhere, but then she found out that the whole time they were together, Jude was with other girls (cause he thought it was just fun) and she was devastated bc she thought they were exclusive.

Now, they are both at an event and somehow end up in the same elevator. Suddenly, the elevator stops, and they are stuck. The whole time, Jude is trying his hardest to get her to even look at him, but she doesn't want to let him in again.

The reader ignores him until he gets tired of it and asks why she took it so seriously in the first place, so she tells him that she loved him, even though she shouldn't have.

this pic!!!!

bc right! rather than famous!reader, reader who works at rma and u and jude had this thing going on for a few months were you’d see each other almost every day at work and then it slowly turned into meeting each other outside of work for coffee or dinner and then u started sleeping together and jude was just always so affectionate and flirty and made u feel like u were 100% the only girl in his life and the only one he was interested in. so it was pretty serious for u and u knew u were falling in love with him but the entire time he’d been seeing other girls and u were just another number in his phone that he’d call when he was bored. finding out abt the other girls bc of a comment he made one night and it just completely wrecks u bc u really thought the two of u were exclusive and serious. it leading to this big fight bc ur telling him how he embarrassed u and has basically just been using u when he knew how u felt abt him and ur breaking the whole thing off and telling him u don’t wna keep seeing him. blocking him on everything and taking a little time off work (maybe transferring to a different section for a little while to avoid seeing him) and jude is torn bc he knows he was a dick and deep down he knows he likes u and wants to be with u but he was too stupid to actually admit that.

then u end up going back to ur old job and jude has seen u around a couple times but u always seem to disappear before he can actually speak to u and it’s killing him bc he misses u and so badly wants a chance to fix things. but then one day u end up in the lift together and it’s so awkward bc he’s trying to talk to u and ur having absolutely none of it and then the lift suddenly stops and it’s the worst thing in the world for u. he’s going on and on abt how sorry he is and how he wishes you’d let him make it up to u but ur still acting so uninterested and he doesn’t know what to say or do to fix it. him going quiet for a little while before suddenly going on this big rant abt how he liked u but he knows ur too good for him and he doesn’t deserve u and that he knew he could have something good with u but he was selfish and wanted to make a point of just sleeping around simply bc he could. his confession leading to the two of u finally talking things out and u telling him u don’t think u can easily forgive him but ur willing to let him try and make it up to u

[lowkeyremi]

Hello Maya! Before I start my request, I just wanna say, I love your writing!!! I've been reading your things for a few weeks now (I'm new to tumbler) and I'm hooked!!

Anywho- I was listening to "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift and it gave me the idea of fem!reader meeting Satoru at some big event for sorcerers and falling hopelessly in love with him

heyyyyyy thank you for reading my stuff and i'm really happy you made a request, i've been hoping someone would bc i want to write ideas other than my own. i'm not huge on taylor swift so i had to listen to this song lol its pretty good :) you ask and i shall provide!! also i'm sorry if this isn't what you had in mind :')

Enchanted S. Gojo x fem!reader

wc: 1.1k

content: fluff, meeting and getting together

The night hadn't been going so well. You spilled some of your drink on your dress. That was borrowed from your friend might you add. Three guys that showed any potential interest were already with someone and their dates angrily pulled them away from you.

There are whispers about the oh so famous Satoru Gojo, and how he's finally made an appearance with his long time friend Nanami.

You've heard plenty about him, he's the famous sorcerer from Jujutsu High that has six eyes. He can solve any problem and he's said to be very hot. Honestly you're kind of a hater, you think people are gassing him up for no reason.

You've never personally met him but his description makes it hard to miss him if you see him; white hair blue eyes, but he'll likely be wearing an eye mask.

A sigh escapes your lips as you walk toward the bar for another drink, you would have invited your best friend but she's not a sorcerer and would not get it at all. "Hi, sorry for being back so soon, but could I get a strawberry margarita?" The woman behind the bar nods.

Before she can walk off though, a silky, carefree voice makes a request with your order, "Me too! Never tried strawberry margarita. Sounds pretty fruity." This day is already bad so you turn your head to see who just made it even worse-

A pretty white haired man stands by your side, piercing blue eyes peaking through sunglasses that look down right ridiculous at such a formal event. "Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors??" Is the first thing you ask, no 'Hi how are you?' or 'why are you ordering drinks on my tab?'

"Cuz I could make everyone faint with my pretty blue eyes." He smirks, confidence evident in every word.

You look confused and he finds it cute. A foreign feeling stirs in your stomach. "Just kidding. I'd waste my power if my glasses were off. Actually, I was advised not to wear them, but I didn't wanna wear my mask for this event. I have it in my pocket just in case though." He's so light and bubbly you almost forget what you were fuming about.

"You're Gojo right?" He smiles and gives a quick nod.

"And you must be 'girl with a stain on her dress', huh?" You fight the urge to roll your eyes.

"Woo that was a good one, almost made my stomach hurt from laughter." You counter sarcastically; the moodiness coming back to you.

"Haha, my bad. Anyway when we get drinks I'll find us somewhere to sit and I'll make you laugh for real." That confidence is still there. You love funny people, they're exciting to be around.

"I'm holding you to that. I need a good laugh." His smile consists of all his pearly whites and is enough to make you, or anyone around you melt.

He goes to pay for your drink, and even hands it to you. "I have to say you are way less selfish than people make you out to be."

The man in question shrugs and smirks at you, "I am very selfish about certain things, childish even. It's only the first date though so pretend you don't know about that." He waves his hand dismissively. You couldn't even care about the fact he admitted to selfishness, you're stuck up on the part where he said this is a date.

"Who said this is a date?" He notices you're trying to play it cool, but he can see right through you.

"I did. I mean if you want, we can think of it more as a blind date since it wasn't planned." Something about him doesn't rub you the wrong way or make you angry at all. He's definitely an odd ball, but he's able to make you feel something in your gut that you haven't felt in a very long time, maybe not ever, actually.

"I- what- you can't just-" You cut yourself off, lost for words, trying to comprehend what he'd just said.

He intertwines his fingers with yours. They're cold to the touch, long and slender. He does that thing where you rub your thumb across all the other fingers. On top of that he gives you that love struck gaze. You're all kinds of confused because why is someone like him trying to flirt with you??? He could literally have any other pretty sorcerer but he's walking you over to a fancy table to sit and talk.

"Ugh, you're supposed to have warm hands to contrast my cold ones." He complains, and if you weren't already stunned then you definitely were now. He's swinging his arm back in forth, with you mirroring it because he's holding your hand.

"I can't help my hands being cold, maybe you should be the one with the warm hands." He shrugs at your response. The swinging stops when you two reach a table big enough for four and pulls out your chair for you.

"I normally don't do this but you're definitely worth it." a lopsided grin covers his face.

As nice as all of this is you look around for cameras. Your mind is telling you he means no harm, but you can never be too sure.

"Okay, is this some kind of joke or show?? Where are the cameras because this can't be real." The white haired six foot something giant's face contorts into something very (ugly) funny. His face scrunches up at your words.

"I can't believe you'd suggest something like that! I'm serious, I just want to be a normal guy and have a normal encounter with someone. So, can you just pretend I'm a normal date and not Gojo Satoru?" He's telling the truth and for the first time tonight you fully relax.

"Okay, hi normal guy. What do you like to do?" You ask playfully feeling enchanted by his charismatic presence. He makes you feel a sense of freedom like you never have before.

The rest of the night the two of you goof off and talk about all kinds of things. Eventually he's being dragged out by Nanami because of how drunk he is. He'd given you his number, "Call me!!!" He whines loudly while being led to the car he arrived in.

"Okay! When I do, don't forget everything from tonight." You yell back to him.

"Like hell I will!" And he was telling the truth because about two hours later when you were winding down for bed you get a call from an unknown number. Usually you wouldn't pick up but you have a feeling that the person on the other side was none other than Gojo normal guy.

"Hello?" You don't get a response for a few seconds, your stomach drops thinking you had miscalculated...

"I miss you already, when can I see you again?" He asks sleepily.

[longing-for-rain]

what do you think of the argument some people make that goes along the lines of "zuko was acting entitled towards kataras forgiveness and the betrayal at the catacombs was just a second thought to him"? According to them, zuko failed to understand that kataras anger at him was a direct consequence of his previous decisions and instead blames it on her resentment against the fire nation (the whole "i think she sees me as her mother's murderer" spiel). They also claim that he's a raging misogynist bc of the way he treated katara in the pirate episode, that he didnt remember her name when asking sokka abt the southern raiders, taunting her in the northern tribe by saying she is a big girl now that she's learned some new tricks, referring to the kyoshi warriors as a "bunch of little girls", yelling at mai and acting possessively, mocking ty lee... amidst many other things, including the toxic masculinity accusations ofc. They also condemn his selfishness in helping katara find some semblance of closure. I think a great part of this is just biased hate, but i just wanted to know your opinion. It's okay if you don't want to answer though!

Oh no of course, I think it’s definitely biased hate, because these kinds of superficial “criticisms” only seem to come up in response to people shipping Zuko with the incorrect character. I’ve seen the same people who make these arguments praise Zuko, say they love him, say his redemption is inspiring, etc. in other contexts.

There is a lot to unpack here, but I’ll touch on all these points because I find them interesting. Also, in regards to generally stupid anti Zuko takes from whiny anti shippers, a lot of those came up here which I addressed in detail.

Now, about these particular arguments.

1) Zuko wanted Katara’s forgiveness out of selfishness

Firstly, I never understood this take because in context…Zuko already has what he set out to get when he left the Fire Nation at the beginning of The Southern Raiders. Actually, let’s take a step back here: leaving the Fire Nation. Did these people collectively forget that? Zuko could have stayed in his life of luxury, watched the world burn, and inherited the title of Emperor from his father. But instead, he committed treason, risking his life in the process, because he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do. This is the character you’re trying to smear as a selfish monster?

Anyways.

The Southern Raiders. The scene which kicks off the conflict with Katara is when the group is sitting around the fire, praising Zuko for his heroism and saving them from Azula. He humbly admits he doesn’t feel he deserves the praise, to which Katara agrees and storms off. But the important piece of context here is that everyone else—including Sokka, Katara’s own brother—seems to be on Zuko’s side. If Zuko was purely selfish, he wouldn’t have cared what Katara thought of him. He could have laughed along with Sokka and agreed that Katara was just being dramatic. But that isn’t what happened.

Zuko doesn’t look angry or vindictive here; he looks hurt. He cares what Katara thinks of him; he later says those words verbatim to Sokka.

I also think the fact that Zuko made a special effort to reach out to Katara above the other characters shows that he recognizes that the catacombs incident was much more personal for Katara. Zuko even acknowledges this himself.

Zuko: Katara mentioned it before when we were imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se, and again just now when she was yelling at me. I think somehow she's connected her anger at that to her anger at me.

Zuko remembers their conversation very well. Katara’s anger towards him was different than the others because she felt betrayed on a more personal level. She shared something deeply personal with Zuko and connected with him, and felt deceived when he betrayed her.

In Katara’s mind, Zuko talking about his mother was fake. She tells herself it was just him lying to her and manipulating her to gain her trust, because that’s easier than the idea that he didn’t care. I believe this is why Zuko finds it so important to make it up to her…and specifically why her mother was involved. Obviously Zuko was wrong to side with Azula. But he wasn’t being manipulative or uncaring. He was manipulated himself by Azula, the person who knows how to control him better than anyone else.

So, in this episode, Zuko is not setting out to prove that he’s “good” (he’s already done this); he’s setting out to show Katara that he does respect her trauma, he does understand and respect the weight of what she told him about her mother. Zuko can tell she’s deeply hurt and that he’s part of that hurt. That’s why he wants to demonstrate that his care for her was and is genuine. He never lied to her. And that right there is the opposite of selfishness. This is once again Zuko acknowledging his own faults and taking responsibility for fixing them. He doesn’t even seem to demand or expect forgiveness in the end.

Look at his face. He’s surprised. He did not expect this gesture, although he graciously accepts it.

If Zuko was this selfish, entitled monster people want him to be, he wouldn’t react this way. He wouldn’t even care about any of the points I just went through.

If you honestly believe that Zuko’s motivation was selfish and he was just manipulating Katara’s feelings this whole time, you fundamentally missed the point of one of the show’s most critically acclaimed episodes.

2) Zuko didn’t know Katara’s name (?)

This one is just stupid. I’m sorry. I didn’t know people actually used this argument because it originated as a joke post and you should be embarrassed if you genuinely think this is canon. It comes from the scene in The Southern Raiders where Zuko says “your sister” rather than “Katara” when asking Sokka about their mother.

There is absolutely nothing about this scene indicating that Zuko doesn’t know Katara’s name. The word choice is most likely to emphasize the sibling relationship between Katara and Sokka to explain both to Sokka and to the audience why Zuko sought him out specifically.

And think about it. Zuko has been hanging around 24/7 with them for probably two weeks at this point. There is no way he didn’t catch Katara’s name, if he didn’t already know it. And given how diligent he was in his Avatar hunting days, he most likely did already know it.

3) The pirate episode

Okay I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again…I’m so tired of people projecting some weird, creepy sexual undertones onto this episode. There was absolutely nothing abusive or misogynistic about the character interactions here. It was a very standard (and honestly a bit cheesy) example of a cartoon villain and hero interaction. The fact that you see a female character in any kind of distressed situation and immediately project sexual implications onto it is the real misogyny here. I never see people complain about similar scenes involving male characters:

I could dig up even more examples but can you see my point? The argument that there was any abuse or sexual misconduct on Zuko’s part this episode is absolutely misogyny—but it’s audience misogyny; not Zuko’s. The canon scene would have gone exactly the same way if Katara was male. The only difference would be much fewer disgusting sexual over-analyzations of it by fans.

4) “Little girls”

For this one, an important piece of context to keep in mind is that this script was written in 2005 by a creative staff of mostly men. So we need to ask the question, is this meant to reflect misogyny on Zuko’s part, it is it the bias of the writers?

Another prime example of this is Iroh’s interactions with Jun. Obviously, that was severely creepy behavior and absolutely misogynistic. However, most fans (including myself) tend to overlook that. Why? Because it’s jarringly inconsistent with the rest of Iroh’s character and his purpose within the narrative. In context, it’s pretty obviously something the writers thought was “funny” at the time but aged like rotten milk.

Also, in regards to sexist language during fights, consider all the stupid lines like…

Azula: Who are you? The Avatar’s fan girls?

Ty Lee: You are not prettier than we are.

…in the Kyoshi Warriors vs. Dangerous Ladies fight. Seems like this is just a writer bias issue, personally. When have men ever been normal about teenage girls? Right—never.

I get this is a slippery slope, so my approach is to compare Zuko’s lines like this to everything else we know about Zuko and ask the question: is there anything about Zuko’s character that indicates he views women as inherently inferior or lesser?

Well, no.

You know what is a trend for Zuko? He focuses on putting down his opponents by acting like they’re younger and weaker than him. His first reaction to Aang is “you’re just a child.” This is consistent with his attitude towards Katara and the Kyoshi Warriors. Zuko canonically treats male and female opponents no differently. He fights and moves on. No creepiness, nothing like Iroh and Jun, etc. If they were male, it wouldn’t have gone differently. That’s why I think it’s a reach to say these comments by themselves indicate a misogynistic attitude.

Besides, why would Zuko see women as weaker and lesser when this is who he grew up with?

That’s another thing. For as much anger and resentment Zuko harbors for Azula on the basis that she’s Ozai’s favorite and born lucky—not one comment is made about her sex. If Azula was male, nothing would inherently change about this dynamic. So yeah, I’m not really buying this whole “Zuko is a misogynistic incel” narrative. If you’ve ever dealt with incels in any capacity, you know they’d absolutely jump at the opportunity to whine that their (female) sister is so much more lucky and privileged and loved compared to them.

5) Zuko, Mai, and The Beach

I’m working on a longer analysis of this but to summarize…people on both sides blow this issue way out of proportion. Mai wasn’t abusive. Zuko wasn’t abusive. They were a pretty standard angsty teenage couple having angsty teenage drama. Zuko called Mai a big blah and shoved some dude into a vase. Mai told him he was out of control. That’s literally such a minor issue, that they resolved by the end of the episode.

But to dig into this more, consider the point this is in Zuko’s story. He’s at rock bottom. The premise of the entire episode is to show how abnormal and out of place Zuko feels among people who should be his peers. His issues with Ruon-Jian aren’t even about Mai to start. Zuko was beefing with this dude before the party even started, remember?

Why is Zuko mad at him? Because he’s making Zuko feel freakish. He’s making Zuko feel like he once again is an outcast, and Zuko hates that. He’s insecure. That’s…the point of the episode.

I’m not going to excuse his tantrum over Ruon-Jian talking to Mai, because that was toxic, but consider the context. Zuko isn’t some crazy possessive freak. In his mind, this is just icing on the cake, another example of why he’s an antisocial freak compared to other Fire Nation teens and he hates how it makes him feel.

But interestingly enough, I do think Mai and Zuko’s interactions in that scene give some insight into their dynamic and Zuko’s character—believe it or not, in a positive way. Just consider the context and body language.

I’m just stating facts here. Zuko is more physically threatening than Mai. He’s bigger, stronger, male, and he’s a firebender while she isn’t a bender. And yet, Mai has absolutely no trouble getting in his business to tell him off. Why? You can argue that it’s just because she thinks she could knife him—but we’ve seen how she reacts to an actual physical threat (Azula) and it isn’t like this at all. Mai is confident because she knows Zuko wouldn’t physically harm her. He’s angry, but he never once uses his figure to physically intimidate her. He clearly doesn’t make a habit of this behavior either judging from Mai’s reaction. Also think about the fact that the only physical altercation here is between Zuko and another man. The primary target of his anger isn’t the woman he’s allegedly acting possessive over unlike another character in the Ember Island Players and several comics…

Not to mention the way they reconcile around the fire. Zuko’s behavior doesn’t at all reflect an angry, entitled misogynist who thinks he owns his girlfriend. Quite the opposite. He clearly holds a lot of love and respect for her. It’s just that…this episode is literally displaying Zuko at his most tortured, his most self-hating, his most insecure as he realizes he no longer has a place in the home he’d desperately been chasing for years after being brutally mutilated and banished. With that in mind, I think he actually handled himself very well.

The thing about Zuko is that he takes accountability for his wrongs and works to improve himself. He has flaws and even when they’re understandable, he still takes responsibility for fixing them. That’s the trait of his that sets him apart from…certain other characters.

6) Zuko being rude to Ty Lee

Again, see above. Yes, Zuko was mean to her. But again, this is Zuko at rock bottom. This is Zuko venting his frustration about nobody being able to understand what he’s gone through and how isolated and freakish he feels. None of them had their faces burnt off in front of an audience. None of them were banished and forced to live as refugees. Zuko blew up at Ty Lee in the first place after she made a comment about bad skin.

Like yes, he’s rude, but did you miss the point of that episode? If you think this has anything to do with misogyny you’re just delusional, sorry. That interaction had nothing to do with Ty Lee being female. It had to do with her (and every other character that episode) living a privileged lifestyle while Zuko is (literally, too) feeling the weight of the scars his trauma has left him with.

So in conclusion, yes, I really think these takes are all shallow and unfounded jabs at Zuko’s character that either don’t understand or outright ignore critical parts of his development and story. And considering I’m #canceled for my based misandry in many circles, it should say a lot that I’m defending a man of any kind ✌️

[vespertin-y]

OKAY I FINALLY WATCHED GRAVITY FALLS. TEN YEARS LATE I KNOW. i was expecting to have to power through a bunch of boring kid stuff to get to the actual interesting drama and i was so so wrong i locked tf in and finished it in two days. it's so good what the actual fuck. heres my thoughts on the main characters

mabel: when i was the actual target audience for this show i saw a bit of mabel while flipping through disney XD and i immediately concluded that she was annoying af and i would never watch this show because of her. i would like to repent for this evil evil take by flinging myself belly down onto shattered glass. MABEL MY BABY GIRL...if they ever put her in another Situation or Scenario ill kill someone fr. she's a little too selfish and a little too pushy sure but so genuinely KIND and SWEET and so willing to make a fool of herself to pull her dumb brother out of his head. that unicorn doesn't know jack i hope she gets everything she wants forever

dipper: if i had watched gf as a kid i would have been in very real danger of naming myself after this guy (which doesn't even work bc im not nearly as cool as him!! the woodland creatures would have eaten my ass). it would've been so easy to give him a generic gaining confidence arc but he is never a coward when it really matters and i think that's great. he may not be able to talk to a girl but he can and will beat a gnome to death with a shovel for touching his sister!!! also yeah he is extremely transgender.

stan: OUUUUUGH. STARTS SOBBING. stanley pines the man that you are. i assumed at first that his plot would be about Learning To Love but no he is 100% on board with being the world's best grunkle from minute one. he definitely fucks up sometimes (putting waddles outside comes to mind as does. The Other Thing) but he always tries his very best to fix it. every action he takes just oozes with care for his family. every time i thought he had a motivation that wasn't his family they pulled the rug out from under me and revealed that it was, in fact, just his family again. he would give everything for them. AND HE LITERALLY DOES??? im gonna vomit. he hand stitched fishing hats 😭😭😭

wendy: definitely my least favorite of the main cast im sorry wendyheads...i just feel like there isn't a lot to get into here. every time they imply there's something more going on with her or her family they just snap her right back into The Coolest Girl In The World which might be fun but it's not that interesting.

soos: SOOS MY FRIEND SOOS!!!! i wobbled on him during the middle of the show bc i felt like they were making him Genuinely Dumb instead of just a good babysitter but they pulled his characterization back around by the end i think. he is like me in that he would also die for the mystery twins without hesitation or regret 💖. a lesser show would've been really mean about soos but gf is BASED and SOOSPILLED so he gets what he deserves. he does not have to lose weight or drop his "childish" interests or stop living with his grandma to WIN AT LIFE. awesome girlfriend! dream job! big house! stan using that boat to hunt down his bio dad and kill him, probably!

ford: ill be honest and admit i hated this guy at first but eventually i learned to live laugh love about his massive incredibly fragile ego ruining everything all the time and now i am a big ford enjoyer. what a FREAK oh my god. he believed his journals to be capable of destroying the world and still refused to destroy them because they're His Life's Work????? he had the painfully obvious option to tell bill he didn't know the equation and stall for time and chose instead to say that OBVIOUSLY he knows it he's the SMARTEST MAN ALIVE he's just not TELLING YOU 😤 and then immediately got tortured????? he spent most of his screentime projecting his relationship issues onto an Actual Child?????????? he needs to go to therapy and learn he's not the main character of the universe but he will not be doing that so i can only hope the boat fixes him. if i was stanley i'd've fed him to the shapeshifter.

bill: SIGH. YES OKAY HE'S MY FAVORITE. I KNOW I'M FUCKING PREDICTABLE DON'T @ ME. i spent 90% of his screentime cracking up and the other 10% making Homosexual Detection Eyebrows at my brother! the ideal ratio!!!!! i can't wait to get my hands on the book so i can poor little meowmeow him more efficiently. i knew i was saving that barnes & noble gift card for something important.

[oddlittlestories]

Thinking about mental health / self help resources and Wilson

So like, a lot of mental health resources will *say* the healthy way of thinking.

And I’m thinking specifically about Wilson’s inability to prioritize himself. To HAVE wants and express needs. To feel like he has a right to them.

So I’ve heard stuff like, “don’t prioritize others to the point of burnout. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. You can’t help others if you don’t take care of yourself first.”

And hearing that might work for some people. But I’ve never been able to internalize things framed this way, and I don’t think it would help Wilson either.

Where’s the path from unhealthy -> healthy?

First off, I think Wilson has a bunch of secondary beliefs to prop this up that he would need to address before believing any of it. Assuming you could *get at* those beliefs, by the way, the man is repression wrapped in misdirection wrapped in denial so potent you could call it a religion.

But if you *could*

For example, I think he’d say that he CAN take care of others without taking care of himself. That he’s never needed to meet his needs to meet other people’s needs before. He saves lives. He cares for his friends. He’s not even burned out! [he’s just invisible. erased by himself. so lost in the process of giving he struggles to remember his own identity]

He DEFINITELY struggles with Being Socially Inappropriate. There are Rules, to him, ways people Act In Society. Things you can live up to or fail to live up to. And he’s terrified of judgement. Not even, I think, the judgment of one person but just Social Judgment in general. With the waterbed, talking with House, he first says, “most adults don’t go through life like you do, indulging their every whim.” But Wilson doesn’t indulge ANY of his whims. And note - there’s a Rule here. An Expectation. And then he says, “Amber will think it’s stupid.”

House, of course, has the best possible comeback. Because telling him it’s not stupid or reassuring in other ways - that’s not gonna work. “It IS stupid. Live the dream, Wilson.” [so what? Isn’t it stupider to avoid something harmless just because it’s stupid?]

And Amber reaffirms that she’s glad he got it even though he hated it.

And Wilson needed the help of TWO PEOPLE to do this. Amber telling him to get what he wanted. House helping him test the waters of how much Wilson could trust her. Amber reaffirming her boundaries around HIM having boundaries. House poking Wilson into admitting and going for what he really wanted. And Amber reaffirming his ability to say no - on purpose - and his choice to get it and learn something about himself.

I think if Wilson were to learn to accept help from people, it might work if he started from a “letting people help you is good for THEM” mindset.

But I’m also thinking about a post the other day I saw about rping and bleed. And how bleed can go both ways. It includes a video about Brennan Lee Mulligan and his players. They point out that his character thinks showing how helpful he can be to the party solidified their friendship. But Mulligan didn’t mean for that to be a characteristic for them to analyze - he frames it like, well isn’t that true? And realizes it’s a belief that not everyone shares.

Anyways the tldr of this is that I ALSO think DND would help Wilson. You could bully him into joining because you need another player. He’d probably do something super independent like let his character die bc he didn’t want to ask for healing. And then they’d have to lug his corpse around while finding a resurrection spell and be like *ask for help next time, this is way more inconvenient*

Alternatively, I think you could point out that he can’t save every person in the world. He doesn’t have time to treat every cancer patient. He doesn’t have time to be an expert in everything. I think he might be crushed thinking about all this, btw, I think the man carries a lot of guilt. But then I think you tell him - do you want YOURSELF to be one of the people you save? Bc only you get to save yourself.

Anywho this is long and rambling and I might delete later, but - ✨Wilson thoughts✨

[year2000electronics]

you should use this ask to talk about 1961 Otto :]{

YAAAY

so. all my favourite ocks have the arms be a sort of reflection of otto’s fatal flaw (with exception to olivia just bc we don’t really get to hear how or why she invented her arms)

- raimi otto’s arms appeal to his ego and hubris and convince him he couldn’t have been wrong

- spectacular otto’s arms give him the power he always craved to fight back against norman and become the bully instead of the bullied

- ps4 otto’s arms aren’t uniformly designed for the good of mankind, they’re designed for himself above all else and are just extensions of the selfish and paranoid person he’s become

and so on and so forth. so for MY otto, he’s a science teacher who was never able to settle down with anyone or have kids but he’s always REALLY wanted a family and that’s kinda why he puts up with the teaching job y’know? because all these kids are kinda like his kids, at least for a year or so. but at the end of the day they have their real guardians to go back to, and they all graduate eventually and stop visiting. so he kinda gets lonelier specifically because he won’t admit to himself that that’s what he’s doing (seeking out companionship).

so then peter parker comes along and he has him as a student for even longer than normal thanks to pete taking some early high school prep classes and he’s there for may when ben dies and everything, pete really sees him as a father figure and he’s pretty much become part of the family! but then peter’s senior year comes along. and that means he’s gonna have to graduate.

peter is struggling with this on his own, he doesn’t want everything to change and for him to lose the place that’s been his life for 4 years, little does he know otto is ALSO panicking because his basically-son is gonna graduate and move on and forget all about him!! and he’s freaking out. but again we see 1961 otto’s flaw of gaining something personally via hiding his intentions, he doesn’t want to tell peter and may that he sees them as family because what if they don’t see him like that? he just wants EVERYTHING TO STAY THE EXACT SAME WITH NO CHANGE SO HE FEELS IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION.

but of course he keeps panicking and instead of the “risky” option of telling peter and may, he decides that “hey, if they leave and forget about me, then i can just make myself a backup! i’ll pour my heart and soul into making these robotic arms that i’ll SAY are for people who live alone who need extra help like the elderly, but are actually for me so i can simulate companionship!” (again, being duplicitous about what he wants by pretending it’s for a different reason than it actually is!) but of course, at the oscorp inventor’s expo he brings the arms to, he suffers a terrible accident and they get fused to him, ai and all

so obviously since otto’s greatest wish was for a family who he could control, when the arms gain sentience and start speaking to him (because come on i had to that’s such a great idea for the arms) it’s not in a “no inhibitor chip now i’m following their programming” way it’s a “hello dad it’s us, Your Children :)” way. the accident increased all of their violent tendencies by tenfold and made them all a bit cuckoo, so otto decides once he’s off of bed rest, that “hey! i know how i can stop peter’s graduation! he can’t graduate if the ceremony just never happens, right?!” (desperate actions of a control freak, you understand) so he attacks the graduation ceremony and peter has to save his classmates including flash. well, that plan failed, but y’know what? otto’s OTHER kids aren’t attacking him anyways! hmph! so he disappears into the night, becoming spider-man’s nemesis, doc ock

all of that was for the “graduation day” arc of my au, the rest of my au takes place after a timeskip when pete’s an adult working at the bugle! so when we zero back in on otto, we see he’s learned nothing and gotten even Worse. he starts his own villain team, the sinister six, but how he recruits each member is that they’re suffering, usually from their own backstory stuff, and he helps them back onto their feet so now they adore him and see him as their caretaker! and they’re all one big family, don’t you think? doc ock DEFINITELY ISNT LYING ABOUT WHY HE’S SAVING THESE SUPERVILLAINS AGAIN.

you can see that throughline in their recruitment order too, we go from electro to vulture to sandman, each who fell victim to horrific accidents or unethical experiments, then you have mysterio, whose only wound is his ego after he got fired, and then the final member is norman osborn himself, the green goblin, who was indirectly responsible for a lot of their backstories. but otto takes in norman saying “oh well he’s just like us, he’s wounded, we must turn the other cheek and take care of him” when really he knows norman is full of shit, doing this goblin thing for personal gain and is entirely in control of his actions, and is lying about it by pretending that it’s an “evil dark entity taking over me” situation. but norman has power and influence and otto needs that influence. also they have a bit of a weird gay thing. so otto plays along with norman’s ruse

ANYWAYS YEAH that’s my otto for you! his arc ends with my own version of superior spider man where otto finally realizes how terrible he’s been to peter and everyone around him by being forced to see the world through eyes that aren’t his :) he and peter make up by the time my miles morales arc starts. he’s such a weirdo i love him. he needs to get therapy!

[lesbianmaxevans]

ok I'm ready to talk about the reunion scene w/o a breakdown

the way louis can't help but smile when he says "hello, lestat"

the way lestat knows it's louis when the fledgling asks "who's he?" but then when louis starts walking towards him he takes that deep breath, and it's as if it's just hitting him that louis is really truly there. as if he was convinced this wasn't real until louis approaches him.

"did you save my life in paris?" and lestat drops his gaze bc nicki and claudia both died while armand was their 'protector' (in the sense that they were part of the coven that he was the leader of, so they were technically under his care) so was it really saving when it meant louis trading one hell for another? when louis didn't know armand as well as he thought he did? ("I gave you to armand. you tell me if that was saving.")

"why didn't you say it was me who saved you, not him?" bc he thought you hated him and what was the point of disclosing it. bc he can never atone for the drop, but this is the least he could do in an attempt to start rectifying that act. bc he loves you and there is no universe where he would let you die, even if it means you hate him for eternity. bc he doesn't think he's worthy of your forgiveness or his feelings being reciprocated.

lestat trying to be nonchalant when he says "I don't like to point out my virtues. besides, I knew you'd figure it out." as if he wasn't prepared to spend eternity rotting in that creaky house to punish himself

"here in new orleans the whole time?" "it's my home. I am she, she is me." bc louis is his home!!! home is wherever louis is!!!!!!!!!! and new orleans is the only piece of louis that he has left!!!!!!!!!

"I was selfish. I... I tried to make nights awful for you." louis admitting that even if lestat had been a good partner to him, that their relationship at that point in time was doomed bc how depressed and self-loathing he was. that while lestat undeniably made things worse, that there was nothing he could have done to make it better bc louis' dark headspace

"I wanted you to suffer, because I was... suffering." "shall we list all the ways we have wronged each other and why it will never be right between monstrous [beings]." the way pre murder attempt lestat would have turned this into a screaming match, but post murder attempt lestat is mildly exasperated and resigned to the argument he is expecting bc he knows he did much worse things to louis. and he feels he deserves louis telling him off

"I came to thank you." this being quite literally the last thing lestat would ever expect louis to say to him. just complete stunned silence as he stares at louis. thinking it's a kindness that he doesn't deserve.

the way lestat struggles to force the words out to ask about september 8th. remembering the exact time armand telepathically reached out to him. his voice breaking.

"I was thinking about..." "I can't... I can't get her out of my mind."

"I carried her home. I made you turn her." louis admitting that lestat had tried to warn him (albeit cryptically and in a way he didn't understand at the time) about turning claudia and that in that moment he wouldn't have listened to anything lestat said to try to talk him out of it

louis being the one to initiate the hug and lestat melting into it. 8 decades of self-loathing chipped away bc louis doesn't hate him and it's also probably the first moment of physical contact he's had since the murder attempt

[floralcavern]

Lemme talk about Darkstalker because the fandom seriously misinterprets his character arc and it bugs me

The fandom is all like “Darkstalker is just an asshole. He’s not some tragic villain.” But.. he is????

Like, I’m not defending his actions. Man was a TERRIBLE person, but people, let’s talk about how he was before Queen Diamond.

Darkstalker was a good kid. He defended his sister and was patient with Clearsight and gave her time to come and meet him when she was ready and he only used his magic occasionally and never for truly selfish reasons (a lot of his early spells were for Whiteout!). He always rushed to his sister’s side when he saw his parents fighting.

Darkstalker LOVED his family (not Arctic tho bc he was an abusive dad). He LOVED Clearsight. He LOVED Fathom. “But when he was born, he was selfish and kept his powers to himself!”

BESTIES. HE WAS LITERALLY A MINUTE OLD. And he said later on that he regretted not helping Whiteout, but he still loves her for the way she is, all the weird quirks as well.

His relationship with Clearsight was healthy. He made the scroll to ease her mind. He often tried to help her unwind from work. They joked, they played, and she always teased him and he took it with a big smile.

The first ever sign of Darkstalker’s descent was when Indigo attacked him. He had NEVER been in a vulnerable situation like that. And Darkstalker was just a kid. That scared the shit out of him, but his ego is too big for him to truly admit that. So he makes his scales invulnerable so he never has to feel that fear again. Remember. He was a fucking kid. And him wanting to be king at the beginning wasn’t originally formed out of just lust for power. It was him genuinely wanting to his his powers for good. It was only later down the line when it developed into a want for power. But him being attacked by Indigo probably caused that desire for power, that need for CONTROL. Because when she attacked him, he wasn’t in control, which caused him to make his scales invulnerable.

The thing that really pushed him over the edge, though, was when Diamond took his mom. His whole world shattered. He had no reason to keep tolerating Arctic, but he still had to keep him around because Clearsight told him not to hurt Arctic. So he’s still forced to stay with his abusive dad, despite that fact that he was part of the reason that Foeslayer left. He HATED the Icewings. And I’m his situation, who can blame him??? His dad is abusive, the Icewings are killing the Nightwings because they’re bitter, and now Diamond took his mom. This is THE stepping stone for a villain origin story. And, again, he still did love Clearsight. But over time, it got more twisted. No longer having his mother for a good role model and now he’s too bitter toward the Icewings, he started to become his dad. A cold, angry guy who feels his violence is justified. The spell on Clearsight’s earring was horrible. One of the worst things he did. He manipulated her own powers because he found them to be ‘annoying’. Which is a TOTAL flip from how he used to think of her powers. He thought her abilities were fascinating and wonderful and he loved seeing how her mind worked. He LOVED the way her powers worked. But now he’s hellbent on avenging his mother, and Clearsight is trying to stop him. I think in a way, this shows he prioritizes not only his own vengeance, but also his mother over Clearsight. Remember, the whole entire start of Darkstalker’s path toward villainy was losing his mother. His path wasn’t started out of pettiness or just him being an asshole. It was having one of the people he cared about most being ripped away from him. But losing one person caused him to push everyone else he loved away. Him losing his mom caused him to lose EVERYONE and turned him into his dad.

Now, one thing that does bother me, and shows that Darkstalker does have a bit of an ego, is his lack of sympathy toward Fathom. This is something the fandom doesn’t talk about much. He thinks Fathom’s trauma is just Fathom overreacting and being dramatic. This is.. rather fucked up and I really cannot defend Darkstalker for this, especially since this was before his descent into madness/villainy.

But let’s talk about his relationship with Whiteout. He’s been treating his best friend and girlfriend rather terribly as he was going down his path of vengeance. But with Whiteout, he was still just as veraciously protective of her as he was before. Whiteout was the only person in the whole world he thought was wholly good. He knew that even Clearsight had flaws, he never truly believed her to be perfect, even before he started to get bitter. But with Whiteout, he truly believed she was one of the only truly good dragons EVER. So seeing his dad control her is what truly broke a piece of him and caused him to truly go off the rails. Seeing that someone can just take advantage of his sister like that caused him to lose all faith in his dad and the Icewings and in the end, losing faith and any sense of sympathy for them is what caused him to do all the shit he did. All of this, all of his anger and evilness stems from the Icewings fucking with this family and with the Nightwings.

The Icewings started his descent into villainy, but Darkstalker was the one who let them get to his head.

[rnebbie]

Omgg okay sine you are doing platonic asks I have a request. They are all in Jackson and Ellies steals or something like that some alcohol and she and readers drink it and get drunk and Joel catches them and goes all dad on them and grounds them? <3

Half empty (request)

Requested by: anonymous

Pairings: Ellie Williams x platonic!reader, Joel miller x platonic!reader

Warnings: vomiting, underage drinking, mentions of abuse but no abuse is written. Insecurity in relationships and just sadness yassss

A/n: I wrote something omg! This might need a second part? I wanted to get it out as soon as possible bc I’m going away for my friends bday and wanted to put it out yesterday but I’ve been busy af. So sorry if this is rushed it’s not proof read and I can do another part if it’s necessary! Anyway I love Ellie and I got drunk last night so I’m really fucking hungover rn and sleepy so I’m sorry if this is shit but yeah I had a little Ellie moment underage drinking yusss ianyway enjoy yusasssssssssssss:)):):):)::)

“No, Ellie. Absolutely not,” You say, turning your back to her. You two are usually on the same wavelength and agree to do the same things, but sometimes Ellie’s naivety becomes too much for you. You’ve seen more than she has despite being the same age as her. And much to Ellie’s demise, though she would never admit this, you know better.

“C'mon, y/n! It's Friday night! We never do anything fun anymore. We always just sit and do the same thing. Read dead people's journals, play board games, or sometimes go to the movies. God, last week you even did your homework on Friday night! You’re becoming too accustomed to domestic life. Don’t you miss it being a little crazy,” Ellie questions you, the way she always does. Sometimes you can’t even keep up with what she’s saying.

You narrow your eyes, looking dumbfounded as you turn to face her, “miss it being a little crazy? What, like when we were almost devoured by clickers? When we were almost murdered by raiders? When we had to aid Joel back to life-“ you begin to list off the things that had happened in the past few months just to remind Ellie, but she cut you off with a waving hand in your face before you could continue.

“Not that. Like…” she pauses to sigh, “when we played soccer with Sam in that bunker. All the cool things we saw when we were traveling, the stars when we slept under the open sky, or when Joel let us try his whiskey,” she shrugs.

You don’t want to admit it. You don’t want to say you miss that, because it was the most exhausting thing you’ve ever done. It was the hardest thing you’ve ever done, and you lost so much because of it. But you couldn’t help feeling a little nostalgia for that portion of your life. You, Joel, and Ellie, were all each other had. And as much as it was hard having only each other to rely on, with this weird dynamic going on, it was nice only having each other. It was a simpler time and a part of you missed when things were like that.

But you wouldn’t say that to Ellie. Some part of you always told yourself you had to be strong around her. You couldn’t be vulnerable with Ellie or Joel. You’re Ellie’s best friend, and she’s something of a little sister to you despite only being a few weeks younger than you. You always felt the need to protect her, especially since the whole point of the trip that changed your life was to deliver her to make this vaccine.

And with Joel, well, you didn’t know what to make of your relationship with him. You wanted to seem strong and mature around him, so as to be respected by him, and it’s gotten you this far, so why show your true colors now? He sees you as an equal somehow. You see how he looks at Ellie, with some sort of paternal love in his eyes. But you tried to treat him as a peer instead of someone you needed to look up to.

You felt selfish for that little part of you that missed being out in the open world with Ellie and Joel. You were safe here, and happy. You had enough to eat, you got to learn, and you even have a healthy comfortable home, and friends your age. You’re not fighting for your life, so what’s there to miss?

So you shrugged in response to Ellie. “I’m thankful for how far we’ve come.”

“Bullshit. You used to be fun! What happened to you,” she pushed you. You sighed deeply as an older sibling would. You partly agreed with Ellie, you did use to have more fun with her. You two got into trouble all the time when you first got to Jackson. But you felt bad making Joel parent the both of you, so you eventually stopped agreeing to do things with Ellie. You did become accustomed to domesticity. But it was a good life.

You look up at her and smile softly, “what’s your plan, Ellie,” you say slowly. A part of you is excited to let loose a little. She smiles the biggest, toothiest grin you’ve seen from her in a long time. She looks how she did before everything happened.

“Okay, Joel is in town, so his stuff is unguarded. And I just so happen to know where he keeps his whiskey,” Ellie says in a mischievous voice, your mouth immediately falls agape.

Before she had time to continue with her master plan, you cut her off, “Ellie, are you fucking crazy? I thought you would want to go for a night walk or like, I don’t know, play a prank on the kids in town watching a movie. Stealing Joel’s whiskey,” you breathe out sharply, unable to compute. You couldn’t imagine doing that to Joel. You could only imagine the pressure that he’s under with the two of you and you would never purposefully add more to his plate.

“Y/n, please? He wouldn’t even notice. He’s been so busy lately that he’ll probably just forget about it altogether, and he can go get more now,” she says, giving her infamous Ellie puppy dog eyes. It’s hard to say no to her, especially when you feel so much for her and your mind automatically goes back to Everything that she’s gone through.

You shake your head and look away, “what if he notices,” you say quietly, allowing yourself to slip out of that fearless front for a quick moment.

“Y/n, he’s like seventy years old, also if he does notice anything, it’s just Joel,” she says with a shrug. Yeah. Just Joel. Just Joel who you’ve spent so much of your energy trying to impress. Just Joel who brought you two across the country safe and alive, somehow. Just Joel who you owe your life to.

You look up at her emotionlessly and nod slowly. “Go get it.”

Ellie returns to your room a few minutes later with Joel’s whisky bottle which has half of its contents left. “It’s half full, this will be enough to get us drunk, right,” she says as she tears the cap of the bottle off.

“Half empty,” you say as you examine the bottle, before taking a hefty swig of it. “Jesus!”

“How is it,” Ellie says with her classic naive and interested expression on her face. “It’s whisky,” you say stubbornly, before handing her the bottle. She takes a sip and tries her hardest not to cough, but it’s too strong for her. After she swallows what’s in her mouth, she starts coughing like a maniac and you cringe, patting her on the back. “Get it together, partner. There’s more where that came from.”

-

After twenty minutes, you two are sitting on your bedroom floor chatting normally. Or boringly, as Ellie put it. This whiskey was taking forever to kick in, you almost wanted to pull your homework out of your bag and start to do it right then and there. Suddenly, Ellie exclaims loudly.

“What the fuck is taking so long! I’m putting my tastebuds through hell just to sit here sober,” she says with an exasperated voice. You smile at her softly and take a breath, just feeling tired, “I’m bored,” you say.

“Me too,” she says, throwing herself back onto the floor. “Should we go do something?”

You shrug, “it’s better than sitting here doing nothing,” you say. The alcohol must be affecting you because otherwise you would have thought logically about this. The two of you got up and exited your room, and then the house. It was a bit of a walk to the town from your house, but with the bottle of whisky coming along for the ride, it was definitely entertaining.

On the walk to the town, you definitely started feeling it. Your vision became gradually more blurry, you had to focus on walking straight, and for some reason, Ellie’s loud mouth was a lot funnier to you than it usually is.

“What do you call a chicken who crossed the road?”

You look up into the night sky, focusing on the stars as you try to guess what the punchline of this joke is gonna be. Before you’re able to guess, Ellie corrects herself, “Fuck, I messed it up,” she snorts as the two of you start laughing uncontrollably as you’re walking up the uphill road.

“Ellie, you’re so funny,” you say between chuckles, as you wipe the tears of laughter off your cheeks. “You make everything so funny and fun. You're so funny,” you smile as you messily gush over her. You feel so much love for her, but when in your everyday life while you're sober, you don't know how to tell her that. The two of you aren’t very expressive about your emotions with each other.

You look over at her and see her smiling softly and looking down. You can’t tell if she’s embarrassed or if she’s just taking in what you’re saying. You wonder if you’re going to remember this in the morning as the town lights come into view.

Ellie sighs, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. “Where are we going,” she turns to look at you. You shrug, ���tipsy bison?”

You guys head for the restaurant, unsure of what your plans are for when you get there. You’re not thinking very far ahead. You’re just living in the moment talking to Ellie about things that don’t even make sense.

Walking into town on a Friday night made you remember why people always wait for Friday. Why people always rave about Friday. The lights on around the buildings in town and the quiet chatter coming from people with busy, happy lives is a beautiful sight to see. And you miss going out as much. You miss interacting with people. You miss live being unpredictable, or even having a little bit of fun. It makes you sad to think about, so you wrap your arm around Ellie’s shoulder.

She puts her arm around your figure and you push the door to the tipsy bison open with your foot. Most people stay engaged in conversation, but some heads turn to you. You’re not worried though, you just continue your conversation with Ellie as you walk up to the bar, “I don’t understand how it works, like, yeah, atoms or whatever but it’s just weird that we grow and expand into nothing… like it’s just air I don’t-“

“Y/n? Ellie,” You hear a familiar voice question from behind you. You abruptly end your not very intellectual conversation and turn to Ellie and widen your eyes dramatically before turning to face the figure behind you. It’s Joel and he doesn’t look that surprised to see you.

“Hi Joel,” Ellie says with a big smile as she waved to him. You wave awkwardly after you see Ellie do it, figuring that’s the appropriate thing to do. He narrows his eyes, walking closer to you guys. He lifts his hand up slowly to wave but something in him decided against it, he only lifts it halfway before dropping it.

“I thought you guys said you were staying in tonight,” he says looking between the two of you who are awkwardly standing like puppies who have obviously done something wrong. Ellie shrugs, looking to you to respond this time.

You take a moment to collect your thoughts, “we were hungry.”

He squints his eyes at you slightly but corrects himself soon thereafter. “Do we not have any food left at the house?”

You shrug, this time looking to Ellie to answer. Maybe you should’ve just taken this one, because Ellie bursts out, “please don’t be mad, Joel!”

You let your mouth fall agape at her sudden outburst and quickly scan the room to see if everyone heard that, surprisingly not a lot of people are phased by Ellie, which is weird because she sounds like the loudest person in the room to you. You try to read Joel’s expression but somehow his face remains blank. After maybe five seconds of silence, Joel suddenly pushes the two of you towards the door, you kick it open once more, quickly shuffling out the door.

After the three of you are out of the restaurant, he walks in front of you both, as to get a good look at your red, hot faces. “Are you guys drunk,” he asks in a panicked voice.

“No,” Ellie says.

You stay silent.

“Y/n?”

Suddenly feeling bile rise to your throat, you lean over into the bushes in front of your favorite restaurant. You violently vomit onto the ground. You don’t focus on much except for the burning in your throat. But you can feel someone’s hand on your back and someone pulling your hair back out of your face. You’re guessing that’s not Ellie, because the only other thing you can register is her voice getting rapidly further away as she exclaims, “ew! Gross! Holy shit!”

You just keep throwing up. It’s painful and you can feel tears running down your face. Suddenly the sick feeling in your stomach feels like something similar to guilt and shame. You try to not feel this often. You used to be someone who put yourself in bad situations because you wanted to be helpful or respected. But long before you met Ellie or Joel, you changed your ways and tried to be someone who didn’t have anything to regret. Someone who made mature decisions, since you didn’t have anyone on your side to defend you. In this moment, you know you’ve become too comfortable.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you sob between gags. You hate yourself for crying in front of them. You can hear someone telling you it’s okay. Saying over and over again it’s okay, it’s okay y/n. You don’t expect to look up and see it coming out of Joel’s mouth. Even though he’s reassuring you that you’re okay, his expression says otherwise. He looks mad. He hasn’t looked this mad in a long time. This makes you cry harder as the vomit forces it’s way out of your stomach.

You continue to apologize while vomiting and don’t even know where Ellie is, until at one point you hear Joel yell at Ellie to sit in the snow and not move. This brightens your mood a little bit, as you think it’s funny that Ellie’s getting told off. You can’t help but giggle, followed by a hiccup as you bring your hand up to your mouth, subconsciously begging your brain to let you have a break from the vomit.

“Hey, fuck you, y/n,” Ellie yells at you loudly through her slurred words as you continue to giggle. “Ellie,” Joel forcefully says back at her as she sits motionlessly in the snow. She doesn’t react, just sits there with an angry look on her face. She doesn’t seem like a fun drunk.

“Are you finished,” Joel says softly, leaning down to your level as you’re breathing heavily. You burp quietly before saying, “I think.” The owner of the tipsy bison comes outside and throws his hands up in the air, scoffing at Joel. “I’m sorry man, I’m sorry,” he says, taking your shoulders and leading you back towards your house. “Come Ellie.”

-

At some point on the walk back, Ellie started crying too. She just kept saying she was sorry, she was stupid, she was sorry, she wouldn’t ever do it again. Joel stopped answering a while ago. Helping you walk and yelling at Ellie to keep up when she fell to far behind. That made her cry harder.

“What did you drink,” he asked at one point, his voice staying steady and strong. Ellie starts to answer, but you cut her off before she get the two of you in more trouble than you already are in. “It was my idea. I traded with my friend from school.”

Ellie just looks at you. The two of you make eye contact for a long time, silently, only hearing your footsteps under you. Joel doesn't answer. He doesn't say anything for the rest of the walk. Ellie keeps sniffling and complaining about her legs hurting, despite the house being in your view at this point.

Once you arrive home, you sit on the couch motionlessly. In your mind, you feel like if you’re still enough you could disappear into the couch cushion and wake up tomorrow in a reality where none of this ever happened. Hoping you won’t have to face the consequences of your actions.

You hear Joel sigh as he pulls the door of Ellie’s room shut quietly. You follow his dark shadow with your eyes slowly. You accidentally sniffle and through the dark, you can see Joel’s figure jump. He quickly clicks on the lantern on the side table.

“Jesus, y/n,” he says, rubbing his eyebrows together, wearing a tired expression.

“I'm sorry.”

Joel starts to say something but stops himself. Taking a deep breath and standing still for a moment. Before coming closer to you. You expect him to hit you, you would even understand if he beat you senselessly and threw you out of the house.

But he just stands above you as you sit on the couch for a few more seconds before taking a deep breath and starting. “You're smart, y/n. You know better.”

You try not to react. You try to keep a still, blank face like you usually do. But it's difficult this time. You already failed once tonight and you feel like you're on the verge of breaking again. You don't say anything.

“I know you care about Ellie, so why would you put her in this situation,” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest. You wish you could be honest with him, you wish you could tell him everything that's going on in your mind, but something is keeping you from doing that. This man isn't your father, and he obviously doesn't want to be. It's hard for you to connect with him, and you don't think he has any interest in doing that anyway.

“You know, my birthday was yesterday,” you say emotionlessly. There's no way for him to have known that, and you don't feel upset that he didn't know. You don't feel upset that Ellie didn't know and you don't feel upset that no one knew, because that part of your life is over. Your parents are gone and so is anyone who loved you before, so you don't have a reason to hold what happened to you against anyone. You just want him to know.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have put her in this situation, and I do know better.”

You don’t know what to make of this situation. You don’t know how to connect with him.

You just keep crying. You want to stop crying but you don’t know how. You don’t know what you’re trying to say, you just wish he knew. You shake your head. “You’re right,” you repeat yourself.

He sighs and rubs his eyes. Seemingly tired from the long day, or week, or months that he has had. Maybe even years. You know you and Ellie aren’t helping and that makes you feel worse. But he draws a long breath in. “Get up,” he says with the same blank face. You get up, not wanting to make anything worse than it has to be.

When he moved his hand you expect him to reach out and hurt you, but he wraps his arms around your small figure and gives you a long hug. This was your first hug. You two barely talk, the only thing the two of you had in common was ellie. Sometimes you felt so out of place. You felt like you didn’t belong and you were tagging along with the two of them. But you tried to brush those feelings off so you didn’t have to think about it.

“Go to sleep. We can talk about this when you feel better.”

He pulls out of the hug and doesn’t look at you. Instead starts to walk to his room, but he stops and says one last thing before going up the stairs.

“Wake Ellie up in the morning and tell her that you two are going to the tispy bison to clean the flower pots and planters first thing. And you're apologizing to the owner.”

-

Let me know if I should start a the last of us tag list and if u wanna be added